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trashlie · 6 months

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it's good to see you around again, I missed reading your long ILY posts, hope you're doing better too :) if you ever share your thoughts on the latest couple of episodes (including fp) here, I'd be super excited to read them! I'm really curious how you think the timeline is gonna go from here - especially relating to Shin-Ae and Nolan since it feels like they are the last pieces that need to fall into place so everything is ready for the post-timeskip story to go down. like you, I was so sure Nol and Shin-Ae were going to have some kind of reconciliation before he goes to jail but WELP rip 3 day extension. Poor guy though, Yui showing up in his hospital room must have been extremely triggering, it made sense that he did everything to get outta there ASAP. It's worrying me that this series of negative interactions (Kousuke, Alyssa, Yui) could've undone everything positive Shin-Ae Dieter Soushi Nana did, and now therapy during jail time could either have a positive or negative effect, so Nol is a Schroedinger's cat for now.... At least some things got cleared up and Shin-Ae is now starting to understand the root of the problem (= Yui) (and it actually really makes sense that she had to figure it out herself instead of Nol telling her - the boy obviously isn't ready to talk) so we made some progress.... But istg with this upcoming separation arc 2.0 it feels so much like we're gonna be back at ground zero after the first time skip. Fingers crossed they reconcile in whatever way before the big time skip though. we need a somewhat positive conclusion to this arc before season 1 ends, because if not then what was all this build up for, and why now? What about the realizations? the "convince me"? What about "if you won't let me have you"? If their reconciliation is only going to happen after multiple years of "conflict" between them that would be so cruel....

AND SHIN-AE STILL HASN'T GOTTEN HER BANDANA BACK and now he's stealing her lines too SDGDADSF;SDF

Waaaahhhhh thank you, friend!!! As you can probably tell, I'm still trying to get myself back here fully and figure out how to balance everything, which has always been a struggle ;~; I really may resort to telling my friends to ignore me and yell at me until I get certain posts written up so I'll stop procrastinating because there are SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT EPISODES I WANT TO RECAP AND TALK ABOUT!!!! BUT THE ORGANIZING MYSELF!!!! IS THE PART THAT'S SO DIFFICULT!!!!!!!!

One of the great things about the ILY discord server is that we have this very constant, active conversation going on at all times so it's SO easy to be very present and active, but I also find that it means it's more difficult for me to regulate myself, or I'll have that feeling that I JUST talked about something and so when I try to write about it over here, it feels like a hollow echo and I know that's just because I was just having the conversation so that's just something I need to work on dealing with lol

But I want to answer this before we move so far away from when you asked this!!!!! As expected, there are FP spoilers ahead for eps 246 through 249!!!!!

I!!!! DO NOT KNOW!!!!!!! LMAO Like. GOD. I feel like quimchee has thrown us curveball after curveball and when we sit down and think about how long this period of December 21 and the post December 21 arc has been, how much the story has weaved around?! There are so many things that have occurred that I NEVER expected and, like you, it's just everything I thought has clearly gone out the window. Part of it, I think, is the result of quimchee having to change the arrangement of her story, and god I would love to pick her brain about the things that changed, since Nol's injury was supposed to happen at the formal itself, we never would have had this extended period of hospital time, and it seems like everything about Nol and Shinae coming to realization with their feelings would have played out in a wholly different way than what we ended up getting, so on some level I think this is partly that quimchee, too, is sort of throwing herself cureveballs in that there are things she knows needs to happen and she isn't sure where or how to fit the other elements in? But that's just my guess.

On the one hand, I do feel very "WHAT WAS THE EXTENSION FOR IF NOT FOR RECONCILIATION?!" but beyond Stalkyoo, we have gotten a LOT of good stuff out of this period of time. We see Kousuke facing his cognitive dissonance for, perhaps, the first time, and the revelation that Yui has been drugging him (and likely for a long time, given the way Hansuke describe the dosage Kousuke had and that it merely knocked him out), and more than that, making those connections between Nol and Yui and tea, and wanting to face him. I'm STILL proud of him for wanting to go back and see Nol again, even after he couldn't face him, even after Hansuke found him on the floor of a public bathroom hugging a toilet from the remorse and guilt and perhaps shame of the realization of the ways he has hurt people - has hurt Nol! - who didn't deserve it. We have seen that Rand and Yujing are, in fact, working on something behind the scenes, that Rand is facing Yui as a real adversary now, not just someone who has been resigned to endure her for so many years now, but to actually fight against her. The entirety of Nol's birthday celebration could not have happened the way it did had he not been in the hospital, since he would have had to turn himself in, and while maybe the original plan was that they celebrated his birthday with Minhyuk's coming home party, I'm.... not sure if that would have been the case?

But at at any rate, I do acknowledge that despite the fact that it feels like Nol might be back at square one, that he and Shinae are back where they started in 151, such significant events HAVE taken place that I think will still affect the narrative future of ILY. I still feel strongly that part of Nol's trajectory is coming to terms with the fact that he does, indeed, belong here. That he isn't someone who wasn't meant to be, that he doesn't belong here. He belongs, and he deserves love. He is someone, not nothing. I still think one of his greater arcs will involve coming to embrace this, and while the negative events - Kousuke, Alyssa, Yui - feel like they could be setting him back, he is now equipped with knowledge and feelings he wasn't before. It can't hurt him the same. In fact, I think part of why his confrontation with Alyssa went the way it did was because he had had this experience with Shinae, Dieter, and Soushi, it illuminated everything that was so wrong with his relationship with Alyssa, how neither of them really know each other. It's that sense of foiling that allows him to put his foot down and say enough is enough. Even before it was revealed that Alyssa had come with Yui, it was clear that Nol was over the visit. Don't get me wrong - I understand why he couldn't see that Alyssa clearly was not well, that she was uncomfortable, that she had come to him with no one else to go to, much as he'd gone to Kousuke in the past when he lost his mom, and I also understand why he did the same thing Kousuke did and turned her away. But the point I'm getting at is, it feels like there was a shift. That birthday celebration illuminated something for Nol.

So it's kind of like, while it feels like this might have undone the progress Nol made, it can't undone the revelations he's had, and in that same way, it cannot cast shadow on his enlightenment. He is not the same Nol he was a week ago. Too much has changed, he's become aware of too much, and as such, he is going to respond differently to what comes his way, and while he may continue to try what he had originally intended, I think the difference is that he's now been made aware of things that impact the choices he makes.

But largely I don't really know what I expect just yet. I think it's very pointed that the lawyer reminded Shinae that she has his phone number; I don't think that would be called out if it wasn't going to be important in some way, but in terms of how are we going from here to there? Unsure lol. I think there HAS to be a resolution of some kind, whether it's a reconciliation or not, because Shinae is on this momentum swing that isn't going to stop until she crashes into something or she comes into a force of nature that stops her. Nothing, no one, has been able to reach her or get through to her, and I know it's just because of how much she's hurting, but she's lashing out at people and hurting THEM like a street cat swiping at people trying to help her. She's so terrified of losing Nol, especially now that he came back, especially now that she gave him the option to leave and he didn't and it rekindled that hope she gave him an opening to leave when it would have been easier and he didn't which just made it worse, because so much more was at stake. She can't stop fighting she can't stop trying because she cannot bear what it means to lose him for real this time, not when she finally had him back, not when that realization has come to her even if she won't admit it. She needs him, so what's going to make her give up?

Something has to transpire, whether it's a reconciliation or Nol pushing her away and really shattering her heart or something awful like that, to bring her to a halt, because I can't imagine how we would move into our mini time skip to spring/graduation with Shinae like this, right? So I think there must be some kind of resolution. My foolish, hopeless self wants so badly to hope for reconciliation but esp after 249 I am SO torn. I have two thoughts.

a. they reconcile. She can reach him, and convince him, and even though he is so afraid, he is also someone who folds in front of her, he struggles to resist her. He told her to convince him and boy she can convince him and even though he tells himself he isn't sure if these feelings are real because what if it's just because she's NICE to him I think hearing her confess her feelings would tell him how he feels and give him the answer.

b. But the alternative feels like a parallel to Nessa and Rand, because Nessa, too, was hurt over and over by someone who kept getting her hopes up and getting hurt by him. Shinae gave Nol the opportunity to leave and he didn't, he stayed and doing so sparked her hope, made her feel things, they shared these tender, intimate moments together and forced that realization to come to mind, but for him to push her away again, for her safety, to make choices on her behalf even though she's told him she hates that and she doesn't want him to. Imagine her pulling a Nessa and calling him scum lfkjajkfkjfjkfaj ;A;!!!!! Imagine her so angry and hurt and resentful and saying awful things she doesn't mean and GOD I feel like it can go only one of these ways because what ELSE is going to stop her in her tracks?!

And I really want a reconciliation because parting like this sets them up for SO. MUCH. STRIFE. Because we know one way or another Shinae is going to end up taking Yui's offer and if Nol leaves on these terms, he would end up thinking she's following in Alyssa's footsteps doing so, not understanding WHY she's doing, not understanding that this is Shinae's only way of protecting herself, learning to speak Yui's language and play her game.

and idk I know I'm a hopeful optimist reading a webtoon that proves to me over and over that I cannot be a hopeful optimist but LMAO GOD I WANT SHINAE TO CONVINCE THAT DUMBO

I've said it before that convincing him doesn't mean they have to get into a relationship. Just. Reconcile. She's so afraid of LOSING HIM, thinking that once he slips away he's out of her grasp, her sight, for good, that she will lose the best thing that happened to her and I WANT THAT RECONCILATION. I want her to convince him, for both their sakes. So that he knows he has someone he can go back to. So that she knows he's not just throwing her away. So that she doesn't have to fear losing something so precious and important.

Am I foolish and hopeful for hoping for that outcome? Maybe, but it won't stop me LMAO because as delicious and angsty as Shinae and Nol following in Ressa's footsteps with Nol hurting her again and leaving her so hurt and angry is, I want to see them on that same page. I want to see Shinae convince him - convince him why he is so important to her, and that his feelings are real. That's the thing, right, like.... you can tell yourself that your feelings aren't real, but if the person you like confesses to you, your heart will inevitably betray you and respond to the confession. Nol fears for Shinae's safety but important puzzle pieces are falling into place. She has figured what he fears the most - and if she thinks hard enough she'll realize how she can use that to her "advantage", in that Rand has told her Yui will never let her go, that it doesn't matter if Nol leaves or not. It goes back to my oft repeated sentiment of them needing to be on the same page, to be a team, because his absence will not protect her. And between what Rand told her, plus her anecdotes about Kousuke's birthday and how Yui treated her even before the formal, and what Yujing told Nol about Kousuke being drugged by Yui, maybe, just MAYBE that conclusion that wasn't only him all along will finally hit him. I know he can't change over night, that he has so many deeply ingrained fears that won't be easily assuaged, but I have to hope that a confession from Shinae can convince him that the alternative is worse. Convince him to fight along side her ;A;

I go back and forth on this thought but I think this is strongly what I feel right now. That reconciliation could still be around the corner, even if it's just an admission and a promise to not push her away. Shinae is tired of people acting on her behalf, tired of not getting a say, and especially in something that involves her heart, her feelings?

Go fight girl and maybe bite him if that's what it takes ;A;

STEALING HER BANDANA. HER LINES. HERT HEART. THIS MAN DESERVES TO BE LOCKED AWAY

ALFJLFJLFKJLAFKJLKFJALKFJ

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY Ask #ILY Spoilers #ILY FP #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Stalkyoo #Aegi #oh you know just me wailing into the night about stalkyoo nbd alkfjjkafjkafjkajfkajfjaf lmao #I PLANNED TO ANSWER THIS AND BE CHILL BUT I DON'T HAVE CHILL and then when i was wailing about Shinae giving Nol the chance to leave and ho #part of why she is so desperate is she can't lose him again not when she almost did not when he came back not when she gave him the chance #to leave and he chose to stay and saw the parallel to Nessa and Rand and it was just ALL DOWNHILL FROM THERE LMAO #AGONY #ANGUISH #PLS PLS PLS LET ME GET WHAT I WANT #lmao #plssssssssssssssssssssss #can you imagine how awful it would be if they didn't reconcile until post time skip?!#jesus christ HOW do you even reconcile after that?!#HOWLS FOREVER

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pockettwinzz · 14 days

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<3<3<3

NESSA I'M SOBBING HE'S SO PRETTY AND CUTE 🥺🥺

<3 <3 <3

#i wanna kiss his cheeks T^T #my pretty bby <3 #hoonie <33 #haze talks (about hoon)#pockettwinzz asks #bunny name : nessa

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kittyarctic · 2 years

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❋ ࣪ ࣭ ⬞ യ 🦇🥐 𝗇𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖺 .𝖻 𓈒 ˙ 🤘🏻🔌 ּ 𖠗

💭 𝗅𝗂𝗄ᴥᩚ 𝗼𝗿 ꢯ𝗲𝖻𝗅𖦹ᦋᩨ 🍣 [ 𝘇𝗭𝘇 . . .☆斘 𝗇ᦕᩚ𝚆 𝕡𝗼𝘀𝘁 %✷ ¡ ¥375 ✿ 🐇💬 ›!! 𝕙3𝗹𝗹o? (>_<) 💢🌐៳ ᥋𝗋ᦸᩚ𝖽𝗂𝕥𝗌 m𝗲.

#moowny #t toxicgirl #nessa barrett #nessa barret icons #icons nessa barrett #icons with psd #icons #packs #packs with psd #jaden hossler icons #jaden hossler

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videcoeur · 1 year

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۵ "Well then.............." in all honesty the birb man probably has nice legs

My muse is currently in a maids dress. Send ۵ for your muse to walk in on them and they have to explain themselves.

"Oh? Is that jealousy I detect? I'm rocking it, don't you think?" Hawks did a full 360° before facing her again, looking ever so proud.

"Thinking of going like that for Present Mic's birthday bash. He requested people dress up differently, with no more prompts. I'm thinking this is different enough."

#Nessa: walks in #Hawks: ur mad jealous of these chicken legs arent u #( t; hawks. )#( bnharp. )#( nessaxhawks; home is where the heart is. )#the things she have to deal with because of that Man

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avid-idiot · 1 year

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First on the agenda: buy a crap ton of these pants

#HELLO?!!#i will never stare at others shamelessly but me?? im situating myself right in fron t of the mirror #—nessa rambles💬

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togorshopping · 1 year

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Nessa Barrett Mesh Shirt

Young Forever, Nessa Barrett Mesh Shirt and Nessa Barrett Mesh T Shirt and Nessa Barrett Merch Special Nessa Barrett Young Forever Merch For Nessa Barrett Fans Nwe Album Concert Song Official T Shirt Store, #nessabarrett, #nessabarrettmesh, #nessabarrettmerch Shop Now>>>https://www.pinterest.com/soraprintshop/nessa-barrett-mesh-shirt/

#Nessa Barrett Mesh Shirt Nessa Barrett Mesh T Shirt Nessa Barrett Merch Nessa Barrett Young Forever Merch

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teemurryshopping · 1 year

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Nessa Barrett Mesh Shirt

here>>https://spring-pod-seller.blogspot.com/2023/03/nessa-barrett-mesh-shirt.html

#Nessa Barrett Mesh Shirt Nessa Barrett Mesh T Shirt Nessa Barrett Merch Nessa Barrett Young Forever Merch

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afraidtoask-kin · 1 year

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O instinto gringo de menosprezar sua economia

#escrevi 30 paragrafos de vent mas decidi que não vale a pena #esquece. esquece. uma frase já descrevi tudo #quer ter relacionamento com gringo? vai ter microagressão simmmmm #mesmo você já tendo explicado com T O D A S AS L E T R A S o porque isso te incomoda <3 #é isso. vou chorar aqui no meu canto para ver se o sono vem nessa caralha

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leviathans-watching · 11 months

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hi sophie! you can deny this request if it's too suggestive for you, but i was wondering if you could write how the brothers react to an MC that walks around the house shirtless/in a sports bra if they're fem bodied when it gets too warm? it's super hot this summer and i've been doing this recently to calm down haha

no worries if you can't! anyway i hope you're well :3

~ nessa ♡

seeing you shirtless

includes: lucifer, mammon, asmo, beel x/& gn!reader (no pronouns/body type mentioned/described)

wc: .4k | rated t | m.list | pt 2

a/n: oml this was so fun to write ty for this idea!! my inbox is open to chat, req, or leave feedback, so come say hi!

warnings: minorly suggestive (thirsty brothers), explicit language

please reblog <3

➳ lucifer is a gentleman, so he doesn’t comment on your choice of–lack of–attire, however, he finds himself looking more often than is polite, more often than he should, studiously taking in the unfamiliar slope of your shoulders, the way your spine sits in your back. you’re magnetic, and though he tries to be subtle he’s sure you’ve caught him staring by now. perhaps that’s why you keep entering the room, stopping to stretch directly in his line of sight with a poorly concealed smile across your lips. lucifer tears his eyes away, looking at his book, but the words are incomprehensible.

➳ mammon wonders if his blush is permanently on his face. he’s seen you in a swimsuit before, hell, more than once, but this is somehow different. maybe it’s because you’re in his house, in his room, acting in such a familiar way in such a familiar setting but looking so unfamiliar, like something straight out of his dreams. and look, it’s not like he’s trying to objectify you or anything, but he can't deny that you’re attractive. distantly, he wonders if you have any freckles previously undiscovered, before he shakes himself. he’s the great mammon! he shouldn’t be swayed by some human! and yet… god, even his ears are red.

➳ asmo whistles, eyes wide. you’d been complaining about the heat lately, something asmo’d totally forgotten was a thing, given that he was a demon in the fiery pits of hell and all, but he’d never thought this would be your solution. instead of being shy, you wink at him, continuing to wipe down the glass of the sliding door, body moving in such interesting, delectable ways. look what you’ve done to him, made him fantasize over cleaning for god’s sake! asmo continues to watch, debating the merits of stripping out of his own shirt as well.

➳ beel doesn’t notice for a long moment, but when he does, he can’t stop himself from admiring your body, loving how it looks in its natural shape. he loves everything about you, something he hopes you know, and can’t believe how lucky he is. for once, he's not hungry, sated with the feat in front of his eyes. or maybe he’s more hungry. hard to tell. but he’s nothing if not polite, so he acts as if nothing’s happened, taking care to maintain eye contact with you respectfully, even offering his help with chores. but when you turn around… damn, he’s so lucky.

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

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bloodlustngore · 7 months

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Safe space - Vanessa Shelly

Another Vanessa fic? I’m hyper-fixating atm so it’s to be expected.

In the middle of writing a Vanessa x fem!reader smut so for now you can all have another fluff one (with a tiny bit of suggestiveness). Kinda want to get these all out before my hyper-fixation on Vanessa stops but it’s probs not gonna for a while as I’m also replaying Security Breach rn.

Also sorry if this one is shit lol or doesn’t make sense half of these I write sleep deprived.

Summary: Vanessa comes home, stressed. She just wants comfort from Y/n.

This is a Vanessa x fem!reader one-shot :)

God, this might shift and patrol was stressful. Vanessa found out that her father employed another security guard...she was worried and she also had to go meet him, and check up on how he was doing.

Vanessa just wanted to sleep, which was unusual for the blonde, because she rarely could...mostly she just wanted to be at home with her girlfriend, her safe space. She was relieved when she could come home, it was four in the morning and she knew her girlfriend would be asleep.

It had been pouring it down with rain tonight and luckily Y/n convinced Vanessa to wear her long water proof coat. But that still didn't stop her much from getting her hair wet a bit, since she forgot to put the hood up.

Locking the door behind her and getting in her routine habit of checking all the rooms downstairs at home, everything was locked. Vanessa did this because she was scared that something could happen to Y/n...considering Vanessa' father is William Afton, after all. Vanessa knew he could easily use her girlfriend against her. And that's why she was scared to get too close to someone but it was too late now, it had been since she first met Y/n two years ago.

Her father hadn't threatened her with Y/n yet...but it was still a possibility if she didn't do as he asked, anymore.

Vanessa headed upstairs after putting her coat away and took off her shoes, if she didn't Y/n would have her head. Leaving her bag down stairs but she still took her gun with her, in case. Y/n had one to...because she knew what she'd gotten herself into getting close to Vanessa.

The blonde stripped off her cop uniform, and threw in an old t-shirt with lounge shorts. Taking her hair out of the pony tail and into a messy bun instead. She glanced over at Y/n who was fast asleep, as she turned the lamp on at her side of the bed.

Crawling into bed, Vanessa turned off the lamp, cuddling up to her girlfriend and wrapping an arm around her stomach, protectively. Suddenly Y/n stirred awake, turning over to face Vanessa. "Nessa, you're home" she smiled tiredly, her eyes slowly opened.

"I'm glad you're back. I missed you." Y/n' voice was a bit groggily from the fact she's still tired and just woke up. "I missed you too baby, it's been a hell of a night. But we can talk about it in the morning." Vanessa paused as she kissed the tip of Y/n' nose.

"Okay. C'mere" Y/n chuckled, tiredly. Vanessa was already so close to her as it is, until the blonde understood what Y/n was after, she closed the gap between their faces and kissed Y/n' lips. The kiss was soft and full of passion, then Y/n kissed back making it sloppy due to her tiredness.

Vanessa was so tempted to get on top of Y/n but she stayed at the side, kissing her. Knowing that if they started this now, there would be no sleep for either of them for a while. Their kiss continued, breathing heavy, Vanessa made Y/n moan into the kiss slightly when her hand squeezed her inner thigh, prompting the blonde to deepen the kiss with her tongue.

Vanessa pulled away eventually, both women's chests heaving, a strand of saliva connected until they broke apart. "As much as I'd like to continue Y/n, we need to get some rest."

Y/n chuckled "yeah you're right." Pausing to check her phone "fuck me it's four a.m."

Vanessa smirked at her girlfriend "tempting..."

Y/n rolled her eyes "cheeky. But you need rest, babe."

"Fine. Goodnight Y/n. I love you."

"I love you too Nessa" she kissed her softly, wrapping her arms around Y/n once again, feeling happy that she's in the company of her girlfriend, and that she gets to cuddle with her for the rest of the night...or early morning.

#vanessa shelly x reader #vanessa afton #Vanessa Shelly #fnaf oneshots #fluff #vanessa afton x reader #vanessa Shelly x fem!reader #just y/n comforting her gf

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trashlie · 9 months

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Rand the Damned

Something that has become really apparent to me about ILY, especially the more I have these deep dives into the characterizations, is that ultimately, ILY explores characters who are trying to survive. Nearly every character in ILY is clearly someone trying to survive their circumstances, and while some are very obvious (Shinae, Nol, Kousuke) others you need to examine differently in order to see they, too, are trying to survive (Alyssa, Rand, Yui). Something I feel that ILY does especially well is the interpersonal relationships based on both context and circumstances, and why certain characters are able to better get along with each other and others continue to butt heads. For instance, Nol and Kousuke have always struggled because Nol was never able to see what Kousuke's real battle is - that his quest for Rand's acceptance has been but a small part of his psyche. Without understanding how Kousuke has been manipulated, gaslit, and literally drugged, how could Nol ever begin to understand why Kousuke treats him that way?

Abuse and trauma alters peoples' brains. It's not something that you just... one day wake up from and move on. We will spend our whole lives trying to unlearn our unhealthy behaviors, our coping mechanisms and that's for those of us who haven't experienced such brain-altering abuse and trauma. A very common theme of ILY remains repeating cycles - that people who never get to heal, or don't heal in a healthy way, will continue to perpetuate their cycles of abuse, of their trauma, of their unhealthy learned behaviors. Someone who grows up feeling like they are not allowed to express emotions, feeling like they must tiptoe around others' emotions is going to struggle to open up about their feelings, to feel like their emotions are valid, that they're allowed to feel and talk about what they feel, and thus, their relationships with others are impacted. What happens when they are close to someone who feels like they are being deliberately locked out and left in the dark? How do you resolve issues when you feel like you have to pack away your feelings and pretend you're fine, everything is okay?

This is something that permeates ILY at all corners, because it's fundamental to every interpersonal relationship - that we unwittingly pass on the hurt that has hurt us, that our experiences alter our perception, alter our behavior, alter the way we handle things. When I talk about Everyone x Therapy, this is what I mean. Nearly everyone in ILY carries some kind of hurt, some more deeply than others. This includes even the characters we as readers perceive as hurtful: Sangchul, Rand, Yui. Perhaps even Gun Kim, but frankly that is something I cannot bring myself to get into and I think we lack enough information to examine (but even in his case we can look at his father and glean how Gun would turn out the way he did).

Perhaps this will eventually become a series, where I sit and examine some of these characters more closely, as I have with Kousuke and Alyssa. But at this time I'm focusing on Rand, because I find him to be an incredibly polarizing character depending on the take you have. How dare you sympathize with someone who has been such a terrible father tends to be the main gut reaction, but as with all parents of ILY, there is no such thing as a good, perfect parent. At the end of the day, parents are people also trying to navigate their lives with the extra responsibility of someone else they're meant to take care of, to look after, to raise, with few resources and no guidebooks. The one thing ILY has taught me is to re-examine my own life, my relationship with my parents and the ways they hurt vs helped me, and their circumstances. Ultimately, we will always be victims of our circumstances, the results of our experiences.

So! Let's talk about Rand!

Firstmost and foremost, I want it to be clear that I'm not writing this in an effort to make people care about Rand or make him into someone's favorite character, but instead just to help people better understand him and his motivations. Too often I think we fall into the trap of believing that we can only like good characters and that liking those who hurt others or cause harm makes us bad people. But ILY is a fictional story. No one is being hurt. What I think ILY provides us, though, is a deeper understanding of real people and the ways that all people are complex, no matter how shallow they seem. This isn't about making Rand into a favorite character, but instead it's about examining Rand's circumstances.

When we examine characters through a lens of survival, it helps us to better understand their motivations and choices, as well as what is at risk and what they stand to lose which heavily factors into their motivations and why they make the choices they do. There's a lot we still don't know about the nature of Rand and Yui's relationship: were they ever lovers; did she ever fool him into thinking she was something else; was it always a business arrangement? This leads us to further questions, like did he meet Nessa before or after he married Yui? Because so much of ILY is about these cycles and parallels, we can look at Rand and assume that maybe, much like Nol has tried to do, Rand denied himself something he wanted in favor of something else, something he thought he needed more. As a businessman, it's easy to see how perhaps he and Yui were an arranged marriage, something not for love but instead for mutual benefit (and this feels even more plausible given how likely it is that Yui herself was not allowed to inherit the company but instead needed someone who would be adopted into the family via marriage and treated like a true Hirahara and needed him in order to have any role in the family business that she coveted). If Rand knew Nessa before, perhaps he told himself that what he felt about Nessa was a thing that would pass, something he could live without. Perhaps he convinced himself that the ends would justify the means, that his life would be better if he made this choice and denied himself something else he wanted. Love? Love can come and go. You can move on from anyone, anything.

But it's clear to us that Rand never moved on from Nessa. Long after he lost her, he carried her with him in that Bible. He may have told Shinae that it didn't hold luck for him anymore, that it hasn't for a long time, but that doesn't mean it stopped mattering to him. In a time when Nol needed it most, Rand gave up something that had brought him comfort in solace, in hopes that it can provide something of comfort for him, too.

What has been something of a safety raft for Rand to cling to as he treads the waters of survival has now been passed to his son, and I think this is as good a time to examine Rand through this lens of survival, and to better understand why he has made the choices he has and further, that I fear no choice Rand could have made would have been the right choice; it never existed, he was always damned if you do, damned if you don't.

A special interest of quimchee's appears to be female-enacted domestic violence. This has come up a couple times before, and is a theme she's talked about before on streams about wanting to explore, but I think we are seeing that quietly explored in ILY as well, though it's not the forefront of the story. Yui as a character very much is one who leads a reign of reign of terror, who so confidently believes that she is the hero of the story and everyone who stands against her opposes her, and thus are an obstacle to be taken out. Now, I still intend to write at great length about how I view Yui and what are her motivations and drivers, but the watered down summary is: I believe Yui was once the victim of abuse in addition to having always felt like she is lesser simply for being born a woman and bears a grudge against men and deeply resents them for what they are so easily afforded that she is not, that she was never given the opportunity or the space to heal and internalized this to believe that people deserve what happens to them, that those who are incapable of fighting back are deserving of what happens to them. This is integral in understanding Yui and how, yes, Rand's hands have always been tied by her.

I think when I say this, people think this immediately excuses Rand from the hurt he's caused, but it is so very important that we examine the ways that Rand's hands are tied, so that we can understand how nothing could really have been different, to understand why (in his eyes) he is doing the best he was able to. Again, an underlying theme is that people very much are often the victims of their circumstances. Yui herself even touches on this, noting that she is aware she is afforded opportunities, privilege, that most aren't. She herself also takes advantage of circumstances, in order to better orchestrate what she wants. For instance, consider the way Kousuke was left isolated - she took advantage of her husband's unhealthy work/life balance and further drove a wedge between him and his son so that Kousuke would forever feel like he is working towards an (unobtainable) goal, so that Rand would always be greatly out of reach, so that they could never become equals, be peers, so that Kousuke would always feel that feeling of inferiority and then she learned to utilize that inferiority as a weapon against Nol as well as to further isolate Kousuke, leave him dependent upon her.

Yui knows what she's doing, and Rand's circumstances are very much the base of this analysis.

What was the nature of their relationship? Was it simply a business arrangement Rand thought stood to benefit him? Or, a possibility I explore a lot more lately, was it possible that Yui tricked him in some way, took advantage of a more sympathetic nature perhaps Rand once possessed? I don't think we necessarily need to know yet what the circumstances are, because what matters is where that left Rand.

The mukoyoshi theory becomes ever more important the more we learn about these characters, and as we view their situations through the lens of this theory, we start to better understand the dynamics it's created. Supposing this theory holds true - and I believe it must, since we have canonical proof now Rand has taken the Hirahara name as his own - it sets the following precedent: through marriage to Yui, Rand has been adopted into the family as though he himself is a true Hirahara born of their blood, and as it appears that men are afforded more rights/opportunities, in some way Rand holds more rights in Yui's family than Yui herself does. She could not inherit the family company herself and instead had to marry someone else in order to carry on the lineage, had to give birth to a son to carry it on from them. I'm not going to get too deeply into this, because I think this is for another post, but again, this precedence is important because we need to understand why Yui would resent Rand for reasons beyond his affair, why from the very moment he married her he was likely trapped in her web, and why his circumstances were always against him.

Truly the greatest "mistake" Rand likely made was marrying Yui, but we're well beyond that now.

Yui very much is a controlling, abusive partner and it's clear to us now how she's been manipulating and abusing far longer than Rand's infidelity existed. We can see in Kousuke's early memories that the agitation between Rand and Yui in their clashing parenting styles had already become a thing that was wearing him down, that she gloated from her throne where she maintained the upper hand. Yui possesses incredible finesse when it comes to how she orchestrates things, how she nudges the truth, how she hardly has to do any heavy lifting for things to fall right into place. There's a whole essay that could be written on Rand's role in both the company and as a father and the crux of it always comes back to: he was damned if he does, damned if he doesn't. As part of the mukoyoshi concept, Rand has a duty to the company he has inherited, to the family he has been adopted by, to oversee things to ensure things run as well as they can. But as a husband and father, he has an obligation to his family. We see it often in businessmen, in people of the corporate world whose entire livelihoods depend on their career that they must make a choice. At this time it appears as though Yui's father regards Rand favorably, but would he have if Rand had chosen to downsize his responsibilities? Had Rand chosen to be around more as Kousuke was being raised? Especially if it's as we think with the Hirahara family, where childrearing is seen as a woman's role, that this is what Yui should be focusing on and that Rand, the mukoyoshi, had a role to fulfill separate of that?

When Yui told Kousuke that they are different from others, she was not wrong. We cannot view Rand through the same lens we would a man of lesser stature than him. We have to view him through his circumstances.

And his circumstances lead us here: to a man whose wife has probably been playing mind games with him from the get go who is trying his best both as an obligation to the family and his company and also to himself. We get enough glimpses into Kousuke's past to know that it's not that Rand had no interest in his son's life. In fact, Rand on many occasions is seen trying to instill something in Kousuke, trying to help him be aware of both his opportunities and privilege as well as the limitlessness of all that he could grow to be. I can only speculate, but with what we know, I have no doubts there was a lot of clever orchestration on Yui's part as to Rand's availability. They're both chairpersons of the company, and yet one of them was far more tied up - the one of them who is seen as more valuable to the family and company.

I want it made clear: what exists between Rand and Yui (and Kousuke) predates the affair and Nol. Yui was never a scorned lover who took things out on her lover's mistress and son. Had Rand never had an affair, he would still have been in this predicament with Yui and Kousuke, would have always struggled to reach his son as Yui continued to drive that wedge, to orchestrate their differences, to run interference. It was always Yui's intention that Rand be someone so completely out of reach of Kousuke that he would always be stuck vying for his attention, always trying to reach and surpass him, always so hungry or that approval that never came through. It just happened to be that Rand’s affair yielded another child, a potential heir (because it’s through Rand’s blood that the company goes), that she married this commoner man and afforded him everything she’d coveted and he embarrassed her, threw it all in her face, and made her look bad, created a threat to Kousuke’s position. But she already resented him, I think. She already had every intention of using Kousuke to take back what she believes is hers.

At some point, Rand must have grown exhausted, and maybe he gave up. Was that right, was that fair, when he had a child? When giving up hurt that child? When it comes to Rand, I think a lot about the safety demonstrations on airplanes, when they tell you not to try to help others (like your children) until you have helped yourself, until you've got your flotation device, your oxygen mask. If Rand himself is drowning, with Yui running laps around him running him ragged, how can he possibly help Kousuke? How can he possibly keep walking out into a hurricane, getting buffeted and thrown backwards by the wind, using all your energy just trying to catch up, much less ever getting where you need to be?

And that's the thing. When I say Rand's hands are tied, I don't mean it to absolve him - I say it to explain him. That Rand was always losing, that Yui has always had the upper hand. Rand has spent all of his time simply trying to catch up, much less ever getting to make an attack, much less ever getting to be a father.

I think a lot about the fact that at one time, Rand and Yui were separated, but they clearly never divorced. Why? What did he stand to lose if they did? I don't even mean just in his livelihood - though he certainly stood to lose a lot, and what happens to a mukoyoshi if they divorce, what assets would he lose? But more importantly: Rand stood to lose Kousuke. Even married to Yui he cannot protect Kousuke, but to be outside her reach? How much worse could it have been? Kousuke is already so incredibly isolated but we also know that Rand has tried to be Kousuke's father, that he has tried to reach out to him in ways that never reached Kousuke because of the interference Yui ran, because of the mindset that she had instilled in him as a young child that became such an inherent belief to him, because his love was commodified so that nothing he did or said to Kousuke could ever get through to this brain-washed child.

Another aspect of Rand's circumstances that are worth exploring is: he grew up an orphan. He was never adopted, he aged out of the system. Rand never had anyone to rely on, anyone to convey that warmth and love to him as a family might. He aged out and then took his life into his hands and became a self-made man with only his own back to rely on. Think about what that does to a person. Think about the way that might warp their perception of people and kindness and love. Maybe this was why it was so easy for him to choose a marriage for convenience. Maybe this was why he could pass up on the opportunity for real love. Maybe from a young age Rand was disillusioned, thought the world had nothing to offer him - the parallels between him and Nol are honestly staggering. Wouldn't it be so easy to make the choices he did, only to come to regret them later? To get a taste for something you thought impossible, or maybe something you thought you could give up, and be haunted by it?

It's not hard to surmise that Nessa must have been his true love, the one he could not quite give up, the one he couldn't let go of no matter how many years it had been since he made his choices, since he lost her, since everything went so wrong. And I think that as a result, it means that no matter what, his relationship with Nol would always, always be complicated. Nol would always be a reminder of what he had and what he lost - both in love and also in himself.

The parallels are truly staggering, and they extend far beyond the Rand Yui Nessa/Nol Alyssa Shinae cycle repeating itself. The kind of man young Nol described Rand as very much sounds like Yeonggi, like the kind of person Nol presented himself as. Yeonggi wasn't a mask just for Nol's friends - this was who everyone saw him as, including his family. Yeonggi was a means of staying off peoples' radars - never being so bad that he is in trouble, never being so great that he's also in trouble (with Yui and Kousuke). He was pleasant, got along with people, never caused trouble if he could help it. Not once was he roped into the family company - for better or for worse. He joked and laughed a lot, he seemed to always be there for friends. He was so much of what Nessa once saw in Rand.

Was it just that Nessa was the only person who drew that out of Rand? Or was it more of a parallel to Nol, that no matter how hard his life, these were integral core parts of him? Was he, at some point, taken advantage of? Did he trust the wrong person, reach out to someone undeserving? Was his kindness and friendship misconstrued by someone with far more nefarious intentions than he expected?

Something I can't help but think about a lot is the way that Rand always says what he means, but in cryptic ways, in ways Nol - and even often readers - cannot see through, that we have to reread again later. He never explains himself, never says what he means, and what is Nol to do with it, when everything Rand says comes off like a criticism of him no matter what? Much like Rand, Nol is damned if he does, damned if he doesn't. Does he please Rand or does he protect himself? Ultimately, they both have Nol's survival in mind, but one looks far less like it.

Consider Rand's words to Nol at the Kim formal - I don't deny that Rand said truly awful things. Does he fully mean what he says? Probably, in more ways than he can explain. When he tells Nol that he should be at Alyssa's side before someone less pathetic than him catches her attention, it feels both like "Do not leave her alone in a place like this with people like this because she will naively trust the wrong person and end up in a dangerous situation" and also "Behaving like this will drive away people like her". Is this the advice Nol needs? From his perspective, no. From his perspective, Rand finds him pathetic, finds him frivolous, thinks he's childish for being so lonely that he seeks out friendship at any opportunity, thinks he acts out just to spite him.

But from Rand's perspective, perhaps he thinks he is preparing Nol for this life - the family, the company, their social circle - the only way he can. He cannot reach out to Nol. He cannot be a father to him, lest Nol get punished more simply for existing. Rand knows all too well. He knows all too well what Yui is capable of - what she has done - and knows that in order to protect Nol, he had to create a buffer, the distance. In a way, it's like he sacrificed his right to be his father in an effort to keep him safe. For better or worse, Nol belongs to this society, too. He, too, needs to be aware of those around him, know who he can trust. In Rand's perspective, maybe Nol DOES look like he's foolish, going around trying to befriend people who might really be someone looking to take advantage of his kindness, who might be in Yui's pocket, who might be someone who doesn't have Nol's well being in mind. In staying with Alyssa, he's also keeping Nol out of harm's way, because he's not getting involved with anything.

Even though what happened to Shinae at the formal was clearly about Kousuke, Gun, and possibly Rand, it did still ultimately involve Nol. It did still ultimately get him involved and hurt - he wound up arrested and blamed for a crime he didn't commit and later took the blame for in court. Rand isn't entirely wrong: when Nol gets involved, it leads to more trouble, because Yui will take any and every opportunity to make his life worse. Even though this wasn't her ultimate goal (and it could be seen that Nol pleading guilty is not what she expected because Nol needs to be around and near Kousuke in order to be effective against him) it still worked to her advantage that it further plays into Nol's image that the public holds against him, that ensures Yui will be believed over Nol.

Rand isn't wrong: Nol underestimates Yui greatly, because he believes everything is about him and doesn't see how much worse it is, how much more of a monster she is, that this isn't about the illegitimate bastard son being a blight against her marriage, that it was always about so much more. And unfortunately we have seen that Rand is correct about other things, too - about how Nol's emotions get the best of him and while the "shove your feelings down and repress them" route is also not correct and healthy, we can see and at least understand why Rand operates the way he does, why he worries the way he does about Nol.

When I say Rand's hands are tied, I mean this: I mean that Rand has never had the opportunity to be a father to his children because Yui has deliberately run interference between him and one and if he shows any sign of affection, any sign of preferential treatment, any indication that he is trying to protect the other, it would make things worse for him.

He knows this.

Rand probably has an inkling about the night Nol was taken away - the first time he lost Nol. More than anyone else, Rand knows who Yui is, but has always been powerless against her. Without any proof of what she does, what can he do? How do you tell people that she is abusive when she doesn't lay a hand on you? When people make jokes of male domestic abuse survivors? How do you get people to see something that barely exists - because Yui doesn't have to get her hands dirty, because she never has to be direct. How do you make people see it?

When I say Rand's hands are tied, I mean whatever choice he makes would never be perfect, would never be right. What if he did it, left Yui and went to be with Nessa and raise Nol. What would change? Kousuke would be left even more alone. At least until now Kousuke felt that he wasn't good enough to receive Rand's care (even as Rand gave it) but what if he was convinced he was abandoned? And anyway, would Yui have stopped had Rand left her? I doubt it. It was never about the infidelity. If anything, it might have been worse. How dare this man, this commoner, come into her family and embarrass her - THEM - this way, to be given everything no one would give her just because he married her and then throw it away for what? Love? For a healthy relationship? To throw away everything she has coveted and worked so hard for? It would be such a slap to the face, an insult to her.

I don't think there was anything Rand could have done that would be "right". Yui would never let him know peace even if he left. If he fought harder, tried harder, maybe she'd have taken him down sooner. Perhaps not - she needed him to get this far so that Kousuke had someone to work towards, so that Kousuke can surpass him - but that doesn't mean she wouldn't have run him more ragged.

Do I agree with every choice he makes? Of course not. But I acknowledge that in his position, his choices are limited. I also acknowledge that in a man like him who has had to repress his emotions (lest Yui have something more to use against him), who has had to deny that he deeply cares (lest Yui continue to use that against him, to leverage it against him), who has been trying his damndest to survive and to help his sons survive when at every opportunity Yui is there to interfere has limited his choices. I understand where his agitation and fear and anger meet and how sometimes they are the same: how he wishes that Nol was never born because none of this would be so bad because if he'd never fathered another child then he wouldn't stand the possibility of being heir there would be no threat - that Nessa might still be alive, that Nol would never have existed to endure the abuse he did. I understand how he can mean and not mean the terrible things because he knows his role in all of this - that this was never about the infidel but it's still about the infidel, that Nol was always in danger no matter where he was. Reading 149 was the first time I really noticed, on a more immediate level - the way Rand speaks in double meanings, and how his fear and anger come out so often in what he says to Nol, because of how much he fears for him, because of how helpless he’s always been to protect him. “Why do you have to be my son?” Because maybe he both regrets that Nol is his son but more than that - what it means for him to be his son, the danger it put him in – that were he anyone else’s son, Yui wouldn’t have cared about him. He wouldn’t be in a position where he ever had to stand before the judge at all, let alone plead guilty for a crime he didn’t commit. “Why am I even trying, all of the effort will just go to waste”. And is he wrong? No matter the outcome, what good is all this effort? Not only that Nol himself can’t read Rand’s mind, but what if it went differently? Yui doesn’t stop - she has no intention and Rand knows it! If not this, it would be something else! “I should have just sent you away to boarding school from the very start.” Again, I don’t deny that a part of Rand probably means what he says, but I think the secondary meaning is still clear - at least if he’d sent Nol away maybe, just maybe, it could have protected him better. Maybe Rand thought keeping him close would be better, where he could see what was going on, maybe he worried he’d be in more danger if he couldn’t monitor him. Maybe a part of him couldn’t help but send away that one tie he had to Nessa - their child - had wanted to protect him for her.

I think that's the difficult thing about Rand. On some level, he acknowledges that thing are worse because Nol exists - but not in a "I hate my child" way but the guilt of a man who knows his child has suffered for his choices, the guilt of a man who knows that two peoples' (three when we include Kousuke, four when we include his own) lives have been ruined because of choices he made. It's not that Rand doesn't love his children - it's that he loves them so incredibly much and he is powerless to help them, that the effort he makes is never good enough that it makes it worse that it can't get through. That's the great tragedy: Rand was always damned if you do, damned if you don't, and it doesn't absolve him of the hurt he's caused Nol, but I also step back and acknowledge: what could he have done differently, that wouldn't have further endangered Nol? On some level, Rand has done what he thought was right. Only in hindsight can you look back and see how your choices were wrong, but even in hindsight you can only speculate, can only suppose. Would it have been better to send Nol away to boarding school, where he could have been away from everything? But that’s the thing with Yui, isn’t it? Her reach seems to extend as far as she wills it and she always gets her way. If she didn’t want Nol to go to a boarding school, she’d still find a way to stop it. And what if Rand had said screw it, stood up to her? Everything Rand did was ultimately to keep Nol and Kousuke alive, even if it was at the detriment of their relationship. He could have more openly defied Yui, but would she have let him get away with it? And who would protect Nol and Kousuke in his absence, if she did away with him sooner rather than later, if he went from being a fun game to an obstacle to be eliminated?

Rand was always doomed to fail. That is the thing about Yui's trap - she was always set to have that advantage, Rand has always been trying to keep up. There was never a route where he succeeds here, because she always has the upperhand. What could Rand do for either of his sons that wouldn't have backfired? In a way, Rand's game has really been about the long haul. At some point, he must've known he'd never get to be their fathers. He tried! He continued to try. His methods aren't good but he tries to protect Nol, he tries to get through to Kousuke, he tries to give them the comfort he never had the opportunity to, but it's too late, it's all too late, but they are alive and that is what matters.

When Rand shows up after that night of absolute concern and worry, concerned about both of his sons, for the second time he runs the risk of losing Nol. He knows that it's too late, that nothing he can do at this point will help. He knows that at this point it's better to walk away, to leave Nol in the hands of those who can openly love him and openly take care of him, in the hands of those who don't endanger his life for caring. But we know that Rand loves him, no matter how much he has let his fear and anger mix up. We know what it has cost him, what he has lost.

The version of Rand that Nessa spoke of has never shown up. I don't think it's not that he never existed - it's that somewhere along the way he lost himself, the price he paid for perhaps the mistakes he made or the greatness he amassed. Maybe it was both. But he lost himself. He lost his sense of self, his identity. He lost both his sons, in more than one way. Rand, like so many others, is a character whose choices are rooted in his efforts at survival - but unlike others who are struggling to survive themselves, Rand's choices have been rooted so heavily in trying to help his children survive, too. He, more than anyone else, knows how dangerous Yui truly is, knows what she is capable of, knows that this is not only about Nol was never about Nol or the infidel, that it was always about more.

And yes, part of the tragedy is that when it comes to these cycles of abuse, sometimes the abused goes on to abuse, too. Rand closed himself off, repressed his feelings, tried to pretend he doesn't care, tried to hide how much he cared, and it still had ramifications. He did this to protect himself but look how it hurt others. And had done the opposite, it would have further hurt him and them. Something we as an audience come to realize is that Yui is so skilled at her manipulation, her execution of abuse, how she uses everything against everyone. Even her own son tries to hide his interests from her, tries to shut her out of his life because he, too, knows all too well what happens when Yui catches wind of any interest. So Rand closes himself off, he becomes an isolated fortress, an impenetrable island of a man that no one can reach and can reach no one. Maybe it's better, in his mind, that he was a cold, terrible father than one who couldn't protect him.

But the unfortunate truth is: there was so little Rand could ever do to protect them. He failed them, and not for lack of trying, but regardless, it was a failure still. And worse, because he was so blinded to what was happening, because so much of it was happening out of his line of sight, not only did he fail to protect Nol, but he drove him to another unforseen danger, one that he had hoped might be a life raft after all.

In the end, a man struggling cannot do much to save others when eh can barely save himself.

In the end, when Yui ties someone's hands, she does so expertly.

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #Randulph Hirahara #Yui Hiraha #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Kousuke Hirahara #Nessa Lochlainn #there's a lot going on in this post and it's mostly me exploring my new favorite subject: that in some way everyone is trying to survive #that Rand is such a polarizing character but also in his position what could he have done differently and it been better?#that this doesn't absolve him of the hurt he has caused but that also as a readers i can understand his choices #and that it sucks #everything about ILY is a tragedy the more you look at it #even Yui is a tragedy I think #and it's just so devastating that these tragedies continue to hurt over and over and over #I understand why people hate Rand and that's fine but #i also hope people understand that Rand has very much had his hands tied all along #that i don't think there was ever anything he could have done differently to yield a better outcome #and that is so depressing

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kyuala · 28 days

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♡ cast de lsdln como pensamentos intrusivos ♡

totalmente inspirado no hino das lobas brasileiras que adoram fazer uma caridade 🙏🏼 foi difícil achar letras pra eles pois são todos LINDOS QUE ÓDIO e apostei (tentei) mais em cenários menores, mas espero que gostem! 💛 avisos: linguagem adulta, sexo explícito (masturbação fem. e masc., sexo oral fem. e masc., puxão de cabelo, leve humilhação, tapas, asfixia, penetração vaginal, fetiche por tamanho; não interaja se for menor de idade) e num carro em movimento (não façam!), comportamento obsessivo, menção a acidente, espanhol fajuto, agustín pardella como marido de novo pq eu sou apenas uma mulher 💔 não é necessário conhecer a música para ler <3

enzo vogrincic

nem me preocupo com o tempo / eu sou bonita, é rapidinho

"mas já vai gozar, meu amor?" você pergunta, debochada, e ri da carinha de dó do homem sentado entre tuas pernas.

"nena..." enzo suplica num fio de voz, os olhinhos castanhos sempre tão tranquilos agora molhados e quase transbordando em desespero, a boca já se formando num biquinho atípico para o uruguaio. "porfi..."

"diz," você ordena, dissimulada, enquanto acelera o ritmo da mão que masturba rapidamente teu namorado, focando a polpa do dedão na cabecinha roxa, irada de tesão e coberta de pré-gozo - angustiada por algum alívio. "diz pra mim o que tu quer."

"por favor, eu preciso gozar," o homem volta a implorar, todo o seu tamanho reduzido apenas ao desejo de se desfazer em prazer e à humilhação de precisar fazê-lo tão rápido depois de terem começado e ainda na tua mão. os olhos se perdem no teu rosto e na beleza que tanto o enlouquece mas, mesmo que procurassem, não achariam um pingo de conforto agora. "deixa eu gozar pra você, meu amor."

você ri com vontade. "então goza, vai," começa, usando a mão livre para puxar os cabelos de enzo, sabendo que isso o leva à loucura mais do que qualquer outra coisa, e logo sente o líquido quente te melar a mão, escorrendo para sujar o abdômen e a virilha do namorado, "já que você é fraco e não se aguenta perto de mim," finaliza com gosto, se perdendo nos gemidos nada envergonhados que recebe em troca.

agustín pardella

toda noite ajoelha pra louvar a baddie / não gosto de barba mas, se for tu, mec

"diosa..." ouve a voz abafada do teu marido por entre tuas pernas e sente dificuldade em se concentrar no que ele fala entre selinhos molhados na tua intimidade. "divina..."

agustín nunca te decepciona. pelo contrário; parece sempre ter uma missão de se superar, te surpreender com o quão devoto ele é a você, ao teu corpo, ao teu prazer. já perdeu a conta de quantas noites passou com ele te levando às alturas apenas com a língua e, nessa em específico, de quantas vezes já chegou a elas e voltou.

"agustín..." você choraminga num sussurro, esgotada demais pelo prazer e ao mesmo tempo ainda sedenta por mais, puxando os cabelos do homem e mantendo-o no lugar.

"shhh..." ele te acalma, depositando selares molhadinhos e lambendo a pele maltratadinha da parte interna das tuas coxas por onde a barba já grandinha passou, roçando e queimando tudo; nunca gostou da sensação, mas depois de agustín e da forma como ele te cuida depois, agora é apaixonada pela ardência. "deixa eu te adorar, mi reina."

matías recalt

um garoto estranho à beça pra andar do lado / o meu tesão aumenta muito se ele for otaku / um que corre igual naruto, levantando o braço / um que minha tia fala: vai sumir, 'tá magro

você jura que não sabe qual é a tua.

estava sentada no sofá da sala, tranquilamente mexendo no celular enquanto o namorado assistia a algum episódio de anime que você não se importou muito em acompanhar. o foda foi quando o ouviu gritar com a tv, criticando duramente a decisão de algum personagem que ele tinha julgado como um "boludo, sabe fazer porra nenhuma direito!", e atraiu tua atenção para si. tinha então começado a notar como ele fica ainda mais lindo quando está concentrado nas animações, tão investido, sério, calado uma vez na vida - te deu até arrepios e tem certeza que foram os do tipo sexual.

é por isso que se encontra assim agora, ajoelhada entre as pernas do namorado no chão frio do apartamento, engolindo o pau dele com gosto, de boca cheia, e arranhando as coxas magrinhas de tanto tesão que te transborda.

"caralho, amor," matías suspira com as sobrancelhas franzidinhas, a mão que segura teu cabelo pesando sobre tua cabeça para te empurrar ainda mais o membro teso goela abaixo. "se eu soubesse que o kakashi te deixava safada assim eu tinha ligado a tv antes."

você acerta um tapa na perna do namorado, o amaldiçoando apenas mentalmente, já que a boca continua ocupada; ele não te dá um segundo de paz.

ouve a risada debochada acima de você e revira os olhos, apesar de agradecer mentalmente pela informação, quando ele completa: "não bate não que eu gosto."

esteban kukuriczka

ele ama se eu danço pra ele / fica nervoso falando comigo

você desce do palco onde acabou de finalizar teu show, cobrindo tua figura trajada só de calcinha com um roupão oferecido pelo segurança postado fielmente ao lado da escada e seguindo em direção ao homem alto, loiro e claramente tímido cujo amigo acabou de te contratar para um show particular. nem se importou muito em lembrar o nome do rapaz falante - algo como fernando ou francisco - ou dar muita atenção aos seus flertes rápidos, focando teus olhos no alvo que vai devorar hoje.

"qual seu nome, meu bem?" você pergunta ao se aproximar, estendendo a mão para lhe fazer um carinho nas mechas claras. tem certeza que, se abaixasse os dedos para o peito alheio e checasse, encontraria um pulso mais forte e mais acelerado que a batida da música que acompanha a próxima garota em sua performance; a visão dos teus seios tão próxima do rosto do rapaz com certeza não ajuda e você acha fofo.

"eh... es-esteban," o homem gagueja, te arrancando um sorrisinho, e parece lutar muito para não derreter com teu toque.

"já recebeu uma dança particular antes, es-esteban?" você caçoa, certa de que ele não faria nada; muito pelo contrário, se sentiria intimidado e, nesse ramo, você sabe que quanto mais intimidado um homem, melhor - pode se sentir mais segura e ainda arrancar mais dinheiro dele ao longo da noite. o cliente apenas sinaliza que não com a cabeça, a boca tão cerrada que você realmente acreditaria que um gato comeu a língua dele. "fico feliz de ser sua primeira, então," você se senta em seu colo, de costas, e encaixa as mãos grandes do rapaz na tua cintura, se surpreendendo com o quanto ele já está duro por baixo da calça social.

"obrigado," esteban sussurra, inalando profundamente teu perfume, e, de repente, você percebe que talvez esta não seja só a primeira vez dele recebendo uma dança particular.

é. definitivamente vai brincar com o coração desse homem hoje.

fran romero

touro, sempre que eu acordo, faço omelete / ele me chama de docinho, ele me diverte

você perambula pela cozinha, juntando temperos, ovos e outros complementos pro café da manhã que resolveu fazer de surpresa para o namorado. o cheiro dos omeletes logo toma conta da cozinha e você já sabe que ele é o culpado por estragar tua surpresa quando ouve a voz do namorado se aproximar pelo corredor.

"querida, cheguei!" fran cantarola tão alto que você não consegue evitar a risada.

"shhh! vai acordar os vizinhos!" você reclama, fingindo preocupação, e sente os braços do rapaz circularem tua cintura por trás, te fazendo um carinho por cima da camisa que roubou dele pela manhã e sussurrando um ah, é? vou acordar, é? com o sossego de quem não está nem aí. "e outra, você nem chegou. já 'tava em casa, só veio pra cozinha agora porque é um morto de fome. tinha que ser de touro..."

"eu 'tô com bastante fome mesmo..." fran concorda baixinho, depositando beijinhos no teu pescoço que te dão a certeza do duplo sentido que as palavras do rapaz carregam. "¿y vos, meu docinho? ¿quieres venir también?"

felipe otaño

uber 15 min' pra casa, mas ele quer no caminho / fica olhando pra estrada que a gente passa batido / só toma cuidado pra não me afogar com os seus filhos

conhecendo o namorado, sabe que felipe não deve ter parado de se parabenizar mentalmente até agora. foi ideia dele irem de carro até a festa, passou a noite inteira sem beber uma gota de álcool e fez questão de chamar uber para todos os amigos que lhe pediam carona; tudo isso para ficar sozinho com você, para te ter exatamente assim nesse momento.

"relaxa que eu 'tô de olho na estrada, princesa," pipe te assegura, passando a mão no teu cabelo e tentando se concentrar na visão à frente e não na de baixo, onde você alterna entre chupar deliciosamente a cabecinha do pau do argentino e engolir o membro o mais fundo que consegue na posição desconfortável, se estendendo do banco do passageiro até o colo dele. "a gente vai passar batido pelo posto da pm."

"não é disso que eu 'tô com medo," você para de sugá-lo para rebater, divertida. "você vai é me afogar se gozar tão fundo assim na minha garganta."

pipe ri, a mão que não guia o volante se dirigindo livremente ao teu queixo, por onde ele puxa teu rosto para deixar um selinho amoroso no biquinho formado nos lábios. "pode deixar então que chegando em casa eu te dou nossos filhos onde você quiser."

simón hempe

se me chamar de mami e for malcriado / te deito na cama e te bato / se disser que me ama e ir buscar outra / só toma cuidado, eu te mato

sente a gota de suor te molhando ainda mais no caminho que percorre pela tua espinha, escorrendo da nuca até o final das costas. sente tuas coxas arderem já de tanto tempo cavalgando no moreno, mas sabe que não pode aliviar agora; tem uma missão a cumprir e um ponto a provar.

"tudo isso é ciúmes, mami?" simón ri, te provocando com um sorriso convencido e um aperto sacana na bunda. "tua buceta é gostosinha também, eu ia voltar pra te comer depois."

você acerta um tapa estalado na bochecha do rapaz, descontando toda a tua raiva, e aproveita o momento de surpresa para acelerar o ritmo e sentar com força. não perde a oportunidade de admirar a boca que te dá tanto tesão e tanto estresse se formando num O perfeito de prazer.

"isso é pra aprender a não falar que me ama e depois ir atrás de outra," você o adverte, tentando disfarçar a voz ofegante quando leva as duas mãos ao pescoço do argentino, apertando no ponto certinho para lhe tirar a quantidade ideal de oxigênio. sabe pelo sorriso persistente no rosto dele - e pelas outras experiências de vocês - que ele está curtindo até demais, então ri junto, sarcástica e ácida, antes de completar a ameaça: "cuidado que da próxima eu te mato."

santi vaca narvaja

ele faz tudo por mim, então ele merece / ele é obcecado por essa mulher

sabe que as irides claras te fitam desde o momento em que entrou no quarto. agora, sentada na cama, sente-as queimando tua pele desde o outro lado do muro que separa as propriedades, desde trás dos vidros das janelas que espelham seus respectivos cômodos: o teu quarto e o de santiago, o vizinho loirinho com quem cresceu, a quem conhece desde que eram crianças.

sempre soube da quedinha do rapaz, mas só a percebeu se intensificar nos últimos anos, quando o contato de santi com outras pessoas diminuía ao passo que ele se aproximava de você e o número de pretendentes teus que se afastavam sem explicação aumentava. fora todas as vezes que pessoas que te machucavam surgiam com hematomas e olhos inchados pelas ruas da cidade, ou todas as vezes que você instalava cortinas no quarto para acordar no meio da noite sem a proteção delas e com a janela completamente escancarada, ou até as vezes que comentava que estava precisando de algo e no dia seguinte encontrava o presente perfeitamente embrulhado em cima da cama.

hoje, porém, foi a gota d'água para tua cegueira. havia comentado com apenas uma pessoa o quanto estava chateada pela nota baixa que havia recebido em um trabalho da faculdade; em menos de 24h, recebeu a notícia de que o professor responsável pela matéria havia se envolvido num acidente de trânsito, o colocando no hospital e atrasando as aulas de maneira que, com toda a certeza, ofereceria aos alunos trabalhos de reposição e mais oportunidades de aumentarem suas notas. suas desconfianças sobre o culpado foram confirmadas assim que virou a esquina da rua de casa, se deparando com o carro de santi, geralmente muito bem cuidado e guardado dentro da garagem, exposto na rua, exibindo uma frente completamente amassada.

agora você seca as lágrimas do teu rosto, finalmente levantando a mirada para encontrar os olhinhos azuis que te filmam - sempre, incansavelmente - de volta com curiosidade, anseio, antecipação. agora você sabe que ele te ama de verdade.

levanta a bainha do vestido florido que te cobre, revelando a calcinha de renda que usa por baixo - já muito bem conhecida por santiago - e leva a mão hesitantemente ao tecido, puxando-o para o lado e revelando tua intimidade úmida quando percebe o rapaz acenar desesperadamente com a cabeça, te incentivando a continuar com os olhinhos azuis vidrificados, fixados em você.

o vê puxar o membro já completamente duro de dentro da calça na hora em que você afunda dois dedinhos na tua entradinha, completamente em sincronia e vidrados um no outro, e nem mesmo a distância das janelas te impede de ouvir o gemido que soltam em uníssono.

agustín della corte

ou um bem grande e forte, L444 / eu não ligo pra aparência, só pra energia / quero um bofe agradecido por entrar na minha

"mais rápido, amor," você geme, arrastando o final da frase de tanto desejo sobrecarregando teu cérebro, as estocadas que recebe sentada na bancada da cozinha completamente nublando teus pensamentos. "mais forte."

"mais forte?" teu namorado confirma, já sem fôlego, "é?"

você só balança a cabeça em sinal positivo, incapaz de dar mais de algumas palavras a ele por vez, quando é acordada das profundezas do teu prazer de repente, se assustando quando agustín te pega no colo. ele apoia todo o teu peso sobre as próprias pernas e te segura pelas dobras dos joelhos, completamente em pé, tirando vantagem da nova posição para acelerar as investidas que dá com os quadris contra os teus.

"agustín!" você ri, não sabe se mais por diversão ou por incredulidade, e acaba deixando mais um gemido escapar junto. "muito obrigada por fazer academia, viu?"

agustín ri de volta, aumentando ainda mais o teu tesão quando responde: "eu que te agradeço por ser meu treininho particular, vida."

rafael federman

ele fica inseguro com homens bonitos / mas eu só quero dar pra ele / o outro é bonito, mas é meu amigo / vida, vem matar minha sede

pensaria que consegue sentir o corpo do rapaz à tua frente se tremendo inteirinho se não estivesse tão distraída com a música alta vinda de fora do banheiro e anestesiada pelas bebidas que consumiu mais cedo.

"achei que você fosse ficar com o seu namorado," rafa confessa baixinho e você ri soprado contra o pescoço dele, não parando de deixar beijinhos ali, achando graça da honestidade e insegurança do argentino.

sinceramente? fofo. exatamente o tipo de homem que você adora devorar.

"ele é só meu amigo," você responde, "além do mais, tu é muito mais bonito," levanta a camisa do rapaz e joga por cima da parede divisória da cabine onde estão espremidos, bebendo vorazmente a imagem do torso nu de cima a baixo com os olhos, "e gostoso."

rafael cora e você entende como a deixa para dar o bote.

"vem matar minha sede, vem," você pede com a voz mais baixa, como se fosse um segredinho entre vocês, as mãos puxando o cinto do rapaz tentadoramente, e rafael agradece por ainda conseguir te ouvir por cima da música alta, "eu ando sedenta por leite de homem."

masterlist principal | masterlist de lsdln

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withwritersblock · 2 months

Text

Lover Boy-The One With The Introduction

~Lover Boy by Phum Viphurit~

Author's Note: this series was requested and I'm so hyped to write it, I think it could be super cute. This is a series of one shots :) Summary: Y/N's roommate abandons her at a party and her brother and his teammates take her home Warnings: mentions of alcohol, party scene Word Count: 1,284 Luke Hughes x Edwards sister!reader

She was standing with her newly found best friend of three weeks, inside a crowded sweaty frat party. The music was loud, it was hard to breathe and the only way to communicate was through shouting into each other’s ears. Nessa stood beside her, scanning the party for potential targets to help Y/N find a boyfriend.

Nessa had been in a relationship since she was a sophomore in high school. It was the fraternity her boyfriend was rushing, so of course she was invited. Which meant Y/N was invited. Nessa was Y/N’s random roommate assignment, as it turned out; they were perfect for each other.

They’ve been inseparable, as if they have been friends since forever. But here they were alone, getting bumped into every three seconds when Y/N’s eyes landed on her twin brother Ethan. “What the hell?” she muttered as she watched him dance alongside his teammate. Or someone she thought was his teammate, she was a little drunk and a little dizzy.

“He’s cute!” Nessa shouted, grabbing Y/N’s shoulder and forcing her gaze towards the blonde boy in the back of the party. Purposely brooding in the corner, alone. “Let’s play, have you met Y/N!” Nessa shouted. Y/N yanked Nessa back towards her.

“We are not going to play Have you met Ted!”

“We’re not playing Have you met Ted, we are playing Have you met Y/N!” she giggled, dragging her through the crowd.

“I’m so mad I showed you that show!” Y/N shouted as she was being dragged, muttering apologies to the people she was slammed into.

She stopped as she was slammed into a very familiar frame, her twin brother. “What the hell are you doing here?!” he shouted, staring towards her. Nessa spun around to see Ethan standing beside Y/N. Nessa’s eyes widened as she continued walking through the party in search of her boyfriend. Y/N glanced towards where she thought Nessa was to find that she was now alone with her brother standing in front of her.

“Since when do you go to parties?” he shouted, shaking his head.

She shrugged her shoulders, “Since I started college?” she shouted as she glanced towards the two guys beside Ethan, whispering towards one another.

She recognized them and Matty Beniers and Luke Hughes. Two of Ethan’s favorite teammates.

He clenched his jaw as he rolled his eyes, “That’s your last drink, alright?!” he shouted towards her, staring deeply into her eyes. She nodded reluctantly as himself and the other two boys walked away from her.

After a few minutes of wandering the party on her own, she found Nessa and her boyfriend Derek making out in the corner of the party. They were getting cheered by a bunch of his potential fraternity brothers. Y/N felt sick to her stomach as she decided to leave.

She called Ethan, reluctantly. He answered the phone but it was too loud to hear him. So, she texted him asking him to walk her back to their dorm building. He quickly replied, telling her to meet him outside of the house. She continued to shove her way through the house, begging to breathe fresh air, instead of other people’s sweat.

She stepped outside, her ears ringing. Her feet felt like she was levitating as she no longer could feel the bass. Her eyes landed on Ethan and the same two boys from earlier waiting outside.

“Are you alright?” Ethan asked, he scanned her frame. He hated seeing his sister dressed the way she was. It was definitely Nessa’s wardrobe because he’s never seen her sister wear clothes like that.

“Yeah, just Nessa found Derek and I realized I wanted to go home,” she mumbled as she looked towards the two taller boys standing behind Ethan. He continued to scan her features, knowing her true feelings despite her words.

Ethan and Y/N have always been close, not because they were twins, but because they enjoyed each other’s company and cared a lot about one another.

Ethan rested his hand on the center of her back as he guided her towards the two guys. “Y/N, Matty and Luke,” he motioned towards each of the boys, “My teammates,” he mumbled, smiling polietly.

“I’m sorry for dragging you guys from the party,” she let out, smiling sadly.

“It was boring anyway,” Matty mumbled.

“It was definitely not like the movies,” she mumbled.

The boys simply nodded with a wide smile on their faces. They were scanning her frame. Admiring the way her body took the clothes she was in. It was obvious she was stunning, it was obvious she was hot.

She began walking ahead of them, guiding them where her dorm was. It was around a half a mile walk back towards campus. Ethan stood in the middle of the taller pair. The three of them began walking, Ethan could tell the way the two boys were watching his sister.

He smacked his hands against their chest, grunts leaving their throats, “Don’t even fucking think about it,” Ethan muttered as he continued walking behind his sister.

Luke fought the smirk on his lips as he forced his gaze to the concrete below his feet. Matty simply rolled his eyes, practically saying as if!

All three of them lived in the same dorm building, so it ended up working out. It was a quiet walk back, nothing much to say. Y/N started stumbling a bit, as her last drink was finally catching up to her.

“Are you sure you can get to your room by yourself, want me to walk you?” Ethan asked as they were waiting for the elevator. Y/N nodded as she clenched her jaw. Ethan’s eyes widened as he smacked his hand against Luke’s arm, “You live on the same floor, can you walk her to her room?” Ethan stared into Luke’s eyes pleading with desperation. Luke nodded slowly as he looked back towards Y/N.

They all stepped into the elevator, Matty was the first to get off on the third floor. Ethan got off on the fifth. It was soon just Y/N and Luke. “I’m fine, you don’t actually have to walk me to my room,” she said, leaning towards him slightly.

Luke chuckled, adjusting the hat on his head as he met her gaze. His body froze for a second as he stared into her eyes. She smiled softly as she looked into his blue eyes. “I think your brother will actually kill me if I didn’t,” he said as the elevator doors opened.

She stepped out first, spinning around to meet Luke’s gaze once more before she began guiding him towards her room. “Thank you,” she mumbled as they continued down the hallway.

“It’s not a big deal,” he said, shrugging. She smiled as she stopped in front of her door. The name tags on the door that her RA had put up. She leaned against the door as she stared into Luke’s eyes for a much longer time than she should have. Something about the way he squinted his eyes and the way he was looking at her was intoxicating.

“I’m gonna-” she mumbled, pressing her lips together. He nodded as he shoved his hands into his pockets. He took a step backwards.

“I’ll see you around?” he asked, tilting his head to the side as he began walking towards the other side of the floor. She nodded as she spun around to unlock her door. She shoved the door open and quickly stepped inside. Letting out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding as the cold air washed over her body.

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louddydisturb · 10 months

Text

Oh mami, its a new 'rari

Harry e Louis sempre foram amigos desde do jardim de infancia, mas de uns anos pra cá as coisas mudaram um pouco

Louis 19

Harry 18

Breeding kink (leve), exibicionismo (leve), uso de maconha, h!inter

(Vi a ideia do plot no tiktok mas perdi a conta)

Edward, harry e louis eram amigos desde do jardim de infância. Era o trio inseparavel desde de sempre

Louis praticamente morava na casa dos styles, sempre indo para jogar video game ou jogos de tabuleiro com os irmãos gêmeos

Harry não pode negar que nunca achou o melhor amigo pelo menos um pouco atraente, agora no final de seus 19 anos, ele tinha musculos aparentes e tatuagem que pintava todo o seu braço e pescoço, o cabelo em um topete bagunçado pro lado e os olhos em azul profundo como o oceano

Harry tinha seus 18 anos, uma cascata de cachos cor chocolate caiam sobre seu ombro, olhos verde como esmeraldas e covinha adoraveis em ambas bochechas

Agora depois de uma discursão boba com o irmão, harry se encontrava jogada no quarto completamente entediada e rolava pelo seu feed do instagram

Era sexta feira, a noite e graças ao seu querido irmão ela não pode ir na festa que acontecia na casa de sua amiga

[Tommo😒]

"Ta ai?" Ela envia e vê a resposta chegar praticamente no mesmo segundo

"Ta com saudade?"

"To entediada, ed estragou minha festa"

"Não me diz que brigaram, é horrivel passar o dia com vocês quase se matando pelo olhar"

"Boa sorte na tarde de jogos amanhã então"

"Ta afim de dar uma volta? Já pegou o novo carro ne"

"Entendi agora"

"Era tudo um plano pra andar na minha bebezinha"

"Se eu ficar mais um minuto em casa eu morro de tedio"

"Ta bom, passo ai em 20 minutos"

Harry desliga o celular e se levanta indo dar um jeito nos cachos rebeldes e trocar o pijama por uma roupa apresentavel.

✨️

Passado os 20 minutos harry se encontrava na frente da casa usando uma t-shirt oversized provavelmente roubada do guarda roupa do irmão, short jeans e seus tipicos adidas forum

Ela vê a ferrari 812 GTS preta estacionar em sua frente e louis que usava uma jaqueta preta e fumava um cigarro

"Uber para harry styles?"

"Papai tava de bom humor na hora de comprar o carro pelo visto" ela entra no carro e louis da a partida "vou aprender a dirigir nessa"

"Nem sonhe" ele joga a bituca do cigarro pela janela "algum destino em especifico?"

"Rodovia" les começa a tocar baixinho na radio

"Quer ir pro lugar secreto?"

"é uma boa ideia tambem" harry diz e o garoto acelera chegando aos 90km/h

Essa era um dos rolês favoritos dos dois, desde que louis tirou a carteira eles saiam para dirigir de noite para algum lugar aleatorio na cidade

Era simplesmente revigorante sentir o vento bater no rosto e a adrenalina do carro correndo em alta velocidade nas ruas vazias

"Não teve nenhuma festa da faculdade pra ir" harry pergunta pegando um maço de cigarro e isqueiro do porta-luva

"Eu tava numa, muito chata aliás" ele acelera o carro e aumenta o som do radio, agora os acordes iniciais de 505 tocavam nas caixas de som

"Coitado do pequeno tomlinson, nenhuma gatinha quis dar beijinhos no garanhão" ela zoa e traga o cigarro

"Idiota" ele ri e em seguida cantarola o verso da musica

"Não devo estar errada" a cacheada fecha os olhos e deita a cabeça no banco enquanto sente a brisa noturna

Louis se deixa perder o foco olhando a garota que fumava ainda de olhos fechados no seu lado

Ele tambem não pode negar que harry tinha ficado extremamente atraente depois da puberdade

Ele observa os labios rosados soprarem a fumaça, os cachos voarem devido ao vento, os cilios descançarem nas bochechas rosadas, os pelinhos do pescoço e braços arrepiados, a pintinhas que se espalhavam pelo pescoço e colo da garota. Louis não podia negar que ele sentia borboletas no estomago de vez em quando.

"Porra eu amo essa musica" harry diz enquanto aumenta o volume do carro e dealer começa a soar

"Não está com frio? Pode ficar doente com o vento gelado"

"Não é pra tanto" ela traga o cigarro

"Pega o moletom no banco de tras" ele diminui a velocidade do carro se aproximando de um posto de gasolina "preciso abastecer rapidinho"

Harry veste o moletom preto e o cheiro do perfume forte de louis invade seu olfato

Ela se encolhe no banco enquanto observa o mais velho abastecer o carro

"Esse perfume é muito fedido, por isso que não pega ninguem desde da quinta classe"

"Fala logo que me ama, styles" ele apoia a mão em cima do vidro enquanto espera o tanque encher

Os olhos de harry caem em uma mulher loira que se aproximava do carro, andando em passos lentos como um animal espreitando sua presa

"Oi" ela diz simples "bonito carro, e dono do carro tambem" louis ri agradecendo e tirando a bomba do carro "sou hailee, qual teu nome?"

"William" ele paga a gasolina e encosta na porta do carro, apoiando o antebraço no vidro

"meio tarde pra estar abastecendo" ela continua "viagem?"

"Quase isso"

"Bem, posso talvez dar uma volta nessa maquina?" Louis ri e harry contorna a tatuagem do 28 em seus dedos "ou teu numero pelo menos?" Harry aperta a mão de louis e o garoto aperta de volta enquanto olha para a cacheada pelo canto do olho

"Não vai rolar, eu to com a minha namorada" ele fala curto antes de entrar no carro e seguir o caminho para a praia sem falar nada.

Mesmo assim harry podia sentir os relances do olhar de louis em si enquanto o mais velho fumava outro cigarro

Ela cantarolava a letra de "oh mami" que tocava agora

E louis acelerava o carro cada vez mais, apertando o volante enquanto se concentrava na estrada

"Ooh, Mami, this a new 'Rari

Hit 150 on the dash, I bent the corner

Then she bent it for me sideways, uh

I might have to fuck her on the highway, yeah (oh, whoa)"

Ele viu o exato momento que harry reecostou na porta junto a letra da musica enquanto fumava o cigarro de maconha

"Namorada?" Ela foi a primeira a cortar o silencio

"Ela não ia largar do meu pé tão facil" os olhos azuis estavam agora focados na estrada começando a sentir a brisa do mar em seu rosto

"Só isso então, william?" os olhos verdes baixam para a calça preta de moletom do mais velho "isso tambem foi só pra fugir dela" ela aponta pra ereção evidente que louis tentava ignorar

"Porra harry" ele para um tanto quanto agressivamente o carro no acostamento "tu mexe com a porra do meu cerebro, eu não consigo pensar racionalmente enquanto tu me olha como uma puta" ela ri enquanto traga o resto do cigarro "é realmente muito engraçado" ele tira o cinto de segurança e fecha o teto do carro

A mão de harry aperta a ereçao dolorida do de olhos azuis que a olha nos olhos procurando alguma outra confirmaçao que ela não estava só brincando

Ele observou os labios gordinhos imaginando o quão macio poderiam ser

"Agora vai ficar só olhando?" Ela fala e esse foi o estopim para o auto controle de louis

Os labios se unem em um beijo rapido e necessitado, harry acaba desistindo de lutar por dominancia apenas seguindo o ritmo agressivo de louis

"Banco de trás" louis os separa e harry passa para o banco de trás sem a minima dificuldade, louis a segue enquanto tira a jaqueta e a camiseta

"Porra eu esperei tanto tempo" ela diz juntando novamente suas bocas e se encaixando no meio das pernas de louis

"Me chupa" ele deixando pequenas mordidinhas do pescoço branquinho de harry, que ajudou louis a abaixar a calça moletom.

O pau duro gotejando cai sobre o baixo ventre do mais velho

A cacheada deixa chupões desde do pescoço até a pelves de louis que gemia baixinho observando harry com devoção

Ela segura o pau começando uma punheta lenta que fez louis respirar fundo procurando apoio nos apoios do banco

"Harry... chupa..." ela ri e circula a cabecinha com a lingua

"Apressado" louis geme agarrando os cachos ao sentir o calor molhado da boca da garota

Ele empurra a cabeça de harry até sentir o nariz da garota em sua pelve

"Oh...hazza... sim" ele solta a garota que volta se engasgando levemente, ela coloca ele na boca, rodeando a cabecinha com lingua e aproveitando o gostinho salgado da pré-porra que saia aos montes

Ela olha para cima, os olhos verdes encontrando os olhos azuis e ele faz um rabo de cavalo desajeitado usando de apoio para foder a garganta da garota

Ela o olhava com os olhos chorosos, engasgando e babando no pau mas não se afastando

"Caralho eu vou gozar" as estocadas se tornam mais urgentes e ele afasta ela enquanto bombea o pau se liberando no rosto e boca da garota

"Porque tirou?" Ela limpa com o dedo e leva pra boca sentindo o gosto da porra quentinha

"Caralho harry" louis diz ofegante vendo garota tira o moletom e a tshirt, ela não usava nenhum sutiã

O tomlinson se aproxima da garota levando a mãos para a cintura pequena e apertando o local

Ele beija a garota enquanto aperta um dos peitos dela que cabiam perfeitamente em sua mão

As mãos tremulas de harry tiram seu short ficando apenas com a calcinha de renda rosa, essa sendo a unica coisa que separava ambas intimidades

"Me fode" harry puxa a cintura de louis contra a sua procurando algum estimulo no clitoris dolorido

"Não quero te comer no carro" ele espalha mordidinhas e chupões por todo o torso da garota

"Lou, por favor..." harry arqueia as costas sentindo o halito quente de louis extremamente perto de sua pelves

"Não tenho camisinhas" os indicadores vão para os lados da calcinha pequena, puxando-a devagar para baixo

"Não precisa, eu tomo remedio e to limpa se você tiver tambem não tem problema" ela se apoia no antebraço

"Não quero de comer na beira da estrada como uma puta barata" ele beija a pelves da garota enquanto suas mãos apertam possesivamente as coxas de harry a mantendo abertas "mas isso não significa que eu não vá fazer nada" harry geme arrastado sentindo a lingua do mais velho passear por todo seu grelo

Ele chupava o clitoris inchadinho enquanto suas mãos apertavam a cintura da garota ao ponto de provavelmente deixar marcas, harry gemia deleitada e puxava os fios castanhos de louis

"Docinho" os olhares se encontram mais uma vez e louis pode ver o exato momento que as orbes verdes reviraram ao que ele penetrou o dedo medio "gostosa pra um caralho" ele beija a garota que gemia arrastado

"Preciso do seu pau" lagrimas escorriam pelas bochechas coradas

Louis voltou a chupar harry enquanto penetrava mais um dedo, a cacheada tremia e se apertava nos dedos indicando o quão proximo ela estava

"Goza nenem" ele massageia o clitóris lentamente observando ela gemer jogando a cabeça para trás e molhar toda sua mão

"Minha casa" ela fala baixo ainda sentindo-se aerea pelo orgasmo

Louis sobe a calça de moletom e veste harry somente com o moletom antes de ir para o banco da frente dirigindo o mais rapido possivel

Era quase metade do caminho quando o olhar de louis caiu em harry pelo retrovisor, a garota tinha os cachos suados, bochechas vermelhas e os labios inchadinhos de tanto morder

Mas ao descer o olhar ele pode ver a garota se tocando devagar enquanto o olhava pelo retrovisor

"Não consegue esperar nem alguns minutos?" Ele foca na estrada vazia e acelera o carro "provavelmente iria amar se alguem te visse, era por isso que queria ser fodida na beira da estrada?"

"Com certeza não seria uma má visão"

✨️

Louis estaciona o carro meio de qualquer jeito na frente da casa de harry e veste a t-shirt antes de sair do carro e seguir harry até a porta

A casa estava escura e silenciosa, julgando por ser 3 da manhã todos ja estavam dormindo

Foi só o tempo de entrarem no quarto que harry praticamente ataca os labios louis que trancava a porta

Eles andam em passos desajeitados até a cama grande no meio do quarto, nesse processo as roupas era espalhadas pelo quarto

"Vem" ele dá duas batidinhas coxas e ve harry sorri sentando com uma perna de cada lado

Louis agarra os dois peitos intercalando beijos e mordidas por todo o colo

Harry sentiu sua calcinha molhar ao ver louis chupando um de seus peitos como uma criança faminta e a olhando com brilho nos olhos

As unhas rosinhas puxam o cabelo suado em busca de apoio enquanto rebolava sentindo o falo duro embaixo de si

Ele solta a garota a jogando na cama e se encaixando no meio das pernas da mesma

Eles começam um beijo agressivo e com desejo e harry inverte as posições sentando na pelves de louis

Ela rebola devagar vendo louis se apoiar no antebraço a olhando como uma presa

"Caralho princesa, eu vou enlouquecer" as mãos fortes vão para a cinturinha que ja estava marcada pelos apertos de antes

"É tão grande, acho que mal vai caber" ela levanta puxando a boxer de louis liberando o penis duro "quer fumar?" Ela pega um cigarro de maconha e um isqueiro da mesa de cabeçeira e senta novamente em cima do pau grosso tragando a droga

Ele estica a mão pegando o cigarro e tragando junto sentindo as reboladas lentas da garota

"Afasta a calcinha" ele traga e libera a fumaça na boca da cacheada

Ela deixa a calcinha de lado e louis ajuda a encaixa na grutinha apertada

Harry geme com a sensaçao do pau a alargando e louis geme com o quão apertada a garota era

Ele devolve o cigarro para harry e agarra a cintura da mesma como apoio para começar a investir o quadril contra ela

"Tão grande lou" ela fala devagar, mais como um gemido e a droga começava a fazer efeito em ambos

O barulho das peles se chocando e os gemidos baixinhos ecoavam pelo quarto

Harry arqueava as costas e maltratava um de seu mamilos

Louis inverte as posições novamente a deixando de quatro porem seu rosto estava encostado na cama

Eles estavam envolvidos na bolha de prazer que não prestaram atenção quando batidas na porta ecoaram no local e o celular de harry

"Porra oque esse caralho quer" ela faz a menção de se afastar mas louis a segura no lugar e apenas entrega o celular que tocava sem parar "ficou louco?" Ela fala com dificuldade vendo que louis não tinha a menor intençao de parar

"Melhor atender" ele diminui a velocidade das estocadas agora a fodendo lento mas fundo

"Oi edward" ela responde seco

"Tava dormindo? Te ouvi chegando, queria me desculpar"

"E precisava atrapalhar meu sono?" Ela afasta o celular e tapa a boca quando louis coloca mais força nas estocadas "f-fala amanhã"

"Tem alguem ai?"

"Não" ela xingou o irmão mentalmente e rezou para ele não ver o carro de louis parado na frente da casa

Louis vira a cacheada deixando de barriga pra cima, vendo a garota desesperadinha tentando abafar os gemidos

"Desculpa eu fui um babaca te dedurando pra mamãe mais cedo" harry revira os olhos sentindo louis pressionar seu baixo ventre

"Não goza" ele silibou em um sussuro

"Ainda bem que tu sabe, ta bom edward to com sono e cansada me deixa dormir" harry arregalou o olhos no exato momento que louis se curvou escondendo o rosto no pescoço marcado e perigosamente perto do celular

Ela tenta afastar ele mas só piorou a situação quando ele gemeu arrastado estocando mais forte

"Tem certeza que ta tudo bem?" A voz de edward ecooa do altofalante do celular

"Sim edward, tchau" ela desliga o celular com pressa e o joga em qualquer canto da cama

"Esse moleque é um porre" louis segura a cintura da garota a puxando contra as estocadas

"Não importa" ela puxa o de olhos azuis para outro beijo e se sentindo cada vez mais perto do orgasmo

Ela empurra os ombros largos e fica por cima sentindo cada centimetro dentro de si "goza em mim" ela abraça louis escondendo o rosto no pescoço e gemendo baixinho "bem fundo" ela quica com mais urgencia

"Hazza... tão boa..." ele aperta a bunda redondinha da cacheada e geme deleitado no exato momento que a grutinha da garota sufucou seu pau se liberando em um orgasmo e molhando ambos, louis não pode se segurar se liberando na garota que tremia em seu colo

"Fundo... cheia de bebes" louis jurou que um dia essa garota ia o matar

"Cheia de bebes" ele deixa um beijo na testa de harry que estava sonolenta em seu colo "hazza, vem precisamos nos lavar" ele tenta afastar a garota que estava grudada em si como um coala mas não obtem nenhuma resposta

✨️

Harry acordou no dia seguinte sentindo um peso em cima de si e observou louis apagado abraçando sua cintura

Ela observou em volta, tudo parecia meio arrumado e ela usava um de seus pijamas favoritos de seda, o edredom cheirava a amaciante e ela cheirava a sua colonia de lavanda

Louis dormia tranquilamente mas ela não pode deixar de notar os arranhoes e chupoes pelo corpo do mais velho que dormia apenas com uma boxer

Ela fez carinho nos cabelos macios pensando se aquilo tudo era realmente real

"Harry a mamãe pediu pra vir te acordar porque ja sao 4 da tarde e em caso tu esteja morta pra organizar o velo- LOUIS?" Edward entra com tudo no quarto assustando harry e acordando louis que dormia impertubavel "que porra..."

#larry stylinson #smut #one shot #louis tomlinson #harry styles

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shdysders · 6 months

Text

club heaven

pairing: jenna ortega x female reader

summary: in which jenna found herself thinking about you and where you might be.

word count: 1.3k

warnings: mentions of death & alcohol

author’s note: wrote this fully based on the song club heaven by nessa barrett, mainly because it’s currently one of my favorite songs. and i suppose it’s confusing if you haven’t read the lyrics to it, so take that into consideration while reading!

i didn’t rly like how this turned out, so please tell me if it’s too confusing and i’ll delete it. hope y’all like it!

As Jenna sat at the lavish Met Gala table, surrounded by the dazzling lights and extravagant fashion, all she could find herself thinking about was you.

It was currently the place and time of the Met Gala after party, and as sad as it sounded: Jenna was alone. Even though she was encircled by people in the same working industry as herself, she should be enjoying herself. This was people she was supposed to actually relate to.

But the thought that was stopping her from doing so, was you. You just wouldn't leave her mind. She just couldn't stop thinking about where you were, what you were doing or who you where with.

You had always liked afterparties, no matter what the occasion, so she should've known that thoughts of you would appear when she would attend them. You claimed it was the icing on the cake when it came to celebration. You wanted one after your birthday, Christmas and even on New Year's Eve.

It was something Jenna loved about you, you always felt the need to celebrate, whether it was for a new project she had finished or such small things as finishing an audition tape.

Her thinking was harshly interrupted by a strong white light flashing onto her, followed by both male and female voices yelling her name from afar.

You hated the paparazzi, despised them. It was a conversation topic you and Jenna talked about almost all the time, you couldn't stand the people that made it their mission in life to make well known peoples life a living hell: taking pictures who all looked the same, making them partly blind in the process.

A smile appears on Jennas face at the thought of your hatred towards them. The fact that you were now somewhere they couldn't go made relief wash over her, but it also made her feel worry. You wouldn't be there to protect her if they ever tried to do something, like you always said you would.

She just prayed to the gods above that you knew how truly sorry she was for not being with you, for not being able to tell you how much she loved you, how much she adored you; like you had told her everyday. She wouldn't be with you for the future years at least, maybe even decades unless she would die in any sort of accident.

Your number still lingered in her contact list, your name followed by an amount of hearts she never bothered to count.

She texted your number almost every day, every chance she got, knowing she would never get a reply from you.

She knew that your number would eventually get shut down for it's lack of using and that a new user would get it, but when it did she certainly didn't know how hard she would take it. Everything that ever belonged to you was starting to slip out of her grip, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Although the new user didn't stop her from texting the number, she didn't care if that meant for her number to get leaked. Because if it made her feel closer to you, she didn't mind. It actually got to the point where the number had called her multiple times, your number called her. But this time the picture of you didn't cover the screen, nor did the contact name she made especially for you.

Jenna tried to tell herself it was you calling her, that you were calling her to ask if she could join you up in paradise.

But she never actually answered the calls because she knew what it would be like if she did: an old lady full of frustration, telling her to stop texting her phone because she didn't know how to block the number. But in the fantasy of it being you, she tried to tell herself that she couldn't hear the signal through the clouds, just so you didn't think she was ignoring you.

The champagne in the glass ran slowly down her dry throat, her face crunching together at the scary feeling of the liquid barely making it through. The paparazzi was now long gone; probably because she didn't give them any satisfaction in posing for their worthless pictures.

Jenna stared with guilt onto the empty glass, that was just minutes ago all full of luxury exotic fruit champagne, Enrique had told her to take it easy multiple times, not wanting her to be completely out of it and not being able to make it home, but of course she didn't listen.

She enjoyed the feeling of the buzz in her head that shut out the bad thoughts in her head; the thoughts of you. She had been trying to escape them with alcohol more than she could remember, drinking all alone at night, either alone in her hotel room or in her apartment, that was once yours too. And when drinking alone got too boring, she tried going to a club.

But unfortunately, she wasn't allowed. Surprisingly enough it wasn't for her short figure or petite and short looking body. The bouncer claimed she was too well known, that she would cause a fuss by being there, crowding people around her and making people turn the attention away from the actual place.

He had told her that she would have to sign herself in as a performer or an entertainer so they had time to schedule it in. But that didn't stop her, she waited right outside every night, even trying to bribe the bouncer with an autograph or a photo, but she left there without avail; the only answer she got was "not tonight".

She hoped that you were up there somewhere, spending your time at your own club, dancing and drinking. You loved dancing, you were always the first person onto the dance floor, practically forcing or dragging Jenna with you.

She hoped that you were up there smoking some blue dream and cigarettes with your legends and idols; even though you never liked when Jenna smoked, she knew you liked to do so yourself when she wasn't around.

She could actually bet all her life savings that you were up there raising all kinds of toasts for her, telling all of the other people up there who she was, what she did, and who she was to you, so everyone else would know who she was until she would get in. To club heaven. The club up there that she prayed so deeply you were at.

And even though she was constantly surrounded by warm and kind hearted people that only wanted the best for her and her career, it never filled the void, the void of you. It was like the city was filled with beautiful angels, but it missed the best one.

She wished for nothing else but being able to cut the line, whether it was up to you or the club she was rooting so hard to get into.

It was either seeing you, or forgetting the loud and bad thoughts about you; the thoughts that you were actually gone, that you weren't with her. Of course she didn't want to forget about you forever, it was just a temporary solution for when the thoughts got too loud.

But a thought that had hit her, was the long wait. The line up towards the place where you were at weren't exactly short, and she was probably way too far back in that line. What if she would never get in? What if she can't get in at all? If that happened, how would she ever see you again?

What if she can't get in? How will she see you again?

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #club heaven #jenna ortega x fem!reader #tara carpenter x reader #vada cavell x reader #wednesday addams x reader #tara carpenter

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