#no because i’m just so fucking upset

[enfinizatics]

okay i’ve got to vent about the nicki minaj situation bc yeah. i used to be a hardcore barb for almost 10 years (2010-2019). and when i say a HARDCORE stan i truly mean it, i had a twitter account dedicated to nicki, she was even following me and often interacted with my tweets when she was online. i was absolutely in love with her and her work. i met my best friend, who’s like family to me, because of her. the pinkprint helped me survive middle school bullying. i followed her through europe when she went on tours. i supported every project, stayed chronically online for her and engaged in petty arguments with people on stan twitter to defend her. i fell out around late 2019 because i felt like most of her lyrics had sounded the same for a while but mostly because she started seeing her current husband, a confirmed rapist. seeing nicki pick up a beef after beef with every young female rapper gives me a huge ick and internalized misogyny vibes. but the beef with megan? it’s been years since i last followed news on nicki, but now i find myself losing my mind every time i see something on here or tiktok. not to mention her twitter omg. it truly feels like i’m witnessing her downfall caused by no one but nicki herself. she’s literally destroying her legacy, a legacy tied to so many memories i made during those 10 years while being her fan, and it just sucksssss. it feels like she no longer has a pr team capable of damage control or persuading her to take a break from social media. she seems to be spiraling with everything she posts. not to mention that ben shapiro tweet, congratulating a white, homophobic supremacist. and the barbz who let her remain in her perfect little bubble, shielding her from any criticism, constructive or otherwise (perhaps out of intimidation – i know, i've been there) and doxing people in the name of what? a millionaire to whom you’re a literal stranger?

#ex barb #no because i’m just so fucking upset #i know what a beef is #its just that #her comebacks used to be so much better: both the old ones like 5 star bitch ir monster but also older ones like no freuds or make love #or plain jane or motorsport #but god #this is a mess #it’s not even a beef anymore it’s a literal rap icon throwing all that legacy through the window #i still like to listen to her sometimes #and acknowledge how she paved the way for female rappers #but i also have common sense and touch grass #nicki minaj #megan thee stallion #hiss #big foot #personal #moira speaks

[azure-clockwork]

I love three houses discourse because I'm pretty sure everyone just picks their route based on which house leader they're the most gay for and then tries to defend their pick by pointing out the other sides's war crimes via twitter memes. Reader, all four of them do substantial quantities of war crimes. So many. We're just here because the woman with Issues and a big fuck-off axe said so, and then we gotta justify everything she did in the name of dismantling the class system. I mean, I'm here for that, but you could also try justifying Charm Man uses poison and perfidy to try to stop racism, A Sad Little Meow Meow gives no quarter instead of doing therapy, or the Thicc Pope tries to bring back her mom via human experimentation, depending on your tastes

#This is 100% swinging at a hell of a hornet's nest #Do I tag it? #Yeah fuck it we ball #fe3h #fe16 #edelgard von hresvelg #claude von riegan #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #rhea fire emblem #I should probably clarify that I love all of these characters quite dearly #Well except Rhea #I think she's a good character but I'm not feral about her like Edelgard or charmed by her like Claude or desperate to save her like Dimitr #discourse #edelgard discourse #Edit: I actually don’t care about 3H discourse either way lol #there’s plenty of interesting shit to talk about in this game #also I get that the people who say “x did war crimes” actually don’t mean “this was bad because it violated the Geneva Convention” #but any time I see something about how many war crimes someone did (usually Edelgard or Dimitri) I just think: #“Hah it’s a war crime to deploy Cyril to rescue Flayn because he’s still 14 then” #also I got into this game because someone told me ‘so there’s a gal with an axe and trauma’ and I booted it up #and I have a friend who likes Rhea despite his moral reservations solely because ‘she’s hot tho’ #and that’s also really funny #point is I don’t really wanna participate in most fe3h discourse cuz I have shit to do but this post isn’t meant to be a dunk on anyone #I’m not upset when I see it; it’s either funny or fine or sometimes right #I’m just gay for Edelgard and amused by the idea of applying the Geneva Convention to a world where it Clearly Isn’t A Thing

[tobythewise]

I just think there’s something incredibly special about being a mage Hawke romancing Anders. All of the other companions find the mage plight annoying at the best of times and WRONG in the worst of times. Hearing their banter HURTS me sometime because hey… you’re saying all mages deserve to have Meredith imprison them because they’re all weak?? IM one of those mages you’re talking about! You think tranquility is fine? That’s ME you’re talking about??

The only one consistently fighting, consistently seeing mages as good and PEOPLE is Anders.

He’ll fight by putting his very life on the line for our freedom. Hawke is willing to throw away his home and be on the run again for their freedom.

I just think that’s really beautiful and really special.

#dragon age #dragon age 2 #handers #Anders romance #Toby rambles #this brought to you because this game is amazing but sometimes it make me so frustrated #Isabella hating slavery but being a jerk about the mages while actively wearing my favor #fenris constantly talking about how magic ruins everything while actively wearing my favor #like plz y’all…. #have an ounce of empathy? please? #this is my first time playing as a mage and it’s ROUGH #and Lowkey is heart breaking because these are Hawke closest friends?? these people who are so indifferent about all the abuse? #critical #<— tagging that just in case? s #I’m just upset y’all 😭 #also fuck Cullen specifically bevause WOW

[zeb-z]

leo leaving foolish a sign like all the others, leaving the most concrete out of all the messages, but no one comments on it. foolish, dead quiet after asking for a direct translation, as the others come in, take note of the sign, and then continue on to other topics. forever coming up, asking if this is anything new or “just another sign”. baghera and fit, the only ones asking if he’s okay, and he just brushes it off, because of course he would, it’s foolish, and it’s easy even though it’s entirely unconvincing and obviously a lie, because everyone else is talking over them anyway. etoiles not even checking in, just pulling him aside to accuse him of federation bullshit. everyone proceeding to talk about crimes in his tower, sitting right on the concrete trail. mouse in the cappy place, saying foolish doesn’t even care about leo, he doesn’t care that she’s gone, and foolish goes quiet for a full minute, until he can find some joke to latch onto and start deflecting again. I can’t take it anymore I’m at my limit.

did anyone other than foolish know the significance of the amethyst, and take note, like they did with the other eggs and their left behind items? or was it just him, alone later on, repeating always juntos to himself as he looks at the message again.

#jmgoing to be sick #everyone else gets condolences gets oh this is significant. he gets ‘just another sign’. just another sign just another sign just another s #does anyone else know what’s important to Leo? everyone else is like oh their beloved items I’m so sorry w Tallulah chayanne and Ramon but #with foolish and leo. god. foolish who is so severely misunderstood on the server. leo who was always so afraid she would just be brushed #aside not making friends. the odd egg out. what the fuck man #and Roier too. throw in the whole family. what’s up with this man I’m sick I’m tired #foolish going quiet when he’s upset. when he’s emotional. and everyone taking it as he doesn’t care. like what is this man #or nervous laughter before silence. like you’ve known him long enough to know it’s not because he’s actually amused!!! god!!!!!!!!!!!! #I’m just upset ok I’m upset I’m upset I’m upset #‘just another sign’ fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you #qsmp #mcyt #foolish gamers #q!foolish #q!leonarda #z speaks

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i’m trying my hardest to not act how i feel

#tw: directed fp vent #it feels like you don’t love me anymore #even when i’m in the same room as you.. it’s so heartbreaking to watch you bond with other people when you should be giving me the attention #all i want is you to show me you love me when we’re alone #it’s the only time we have together.. just us.. but you go and play games with your friends on discord while i chill in the background #taking stab after stab every time you laugh or say you love them #i know we’re not partners so i shouldn’t feel this way but i fucking do #and i want you.. more than i’ve ever wanted anyone in my life #you just never seem to understand why i get so upset #it’s because I WANT YOU #all to myself #i should be the center of your mind.. like you are in mine #it just.. fuck it sucks being in love with someone so oblivious and against it #idk how to tag this #bpd vent #bpd fp #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #actually borderline #bpd favorite person #bpd shitposting #bpd #bpd problems #bpd mood #i would but the tag beloved.txt with this but i don’t really want to put it there if he ever finds out the tag about him

[godblooded]

just an fyi, and it feels like it needs to be said here: your blog is your own space and you should be able to say whatever the fuck you want. if you’re sad? vent. get sad. maybe put it under a cut, definitely tag it, but get sad. if you feel like you need someone to talk to? drop a freaking message about how you’re feeling like you could use a buddy, or anything randomly engaging. if you’re having a hard time, you should feel safe and okay to talk about it in your own space. we’re writers and we’re people and while there’s a lot to be said for how engagement outside of oneself is necessary in rp (and really really needs to improve), i think there’s a lot that must be said about people reaching out to others. it’s become so solitary here — the whole ‘reblog from source’ thing when it comes to shit like about and musings is absurd. the whole refusing to like things is ridiculous. yes, curate your space, that’s important, but curating your space into a studio apartment only you live in doesn’t make this a community anymore, it makes it a studio apartment you live in.

just be yourself here. do whatever you want. but i’m always saying: remember you’re not alone, and don’t let yourself feel that way.

#ooc. o kaptain. #[this is illogically worded and after an argument I’m already upset but I just felt like this has to be put here. it’s been sitting on my #brain for so long and it’s something i just wanted to discuss. the way the rpc has become not even an echo chamber just… a shitty ny #apartment only one person lives in that can fit your fridge and your bedroom in the same room. the way literal fandoms have divided each #other through nothing but massive senses of entitlement and so much gatekeepy fucking language. it’s exhausting to watch this happen #literally all because i have no idea where interaction went and yes I’ve been virtually inactive for months now but. it absolutely isn’t for #lack of trying to come back. it’s hugely due to a lack of interaction whenever I reach out and then the feeling like I’m being either #entertained or dismissed. this is a social space and we’re people and everybody just needs to recognize that. like. last week my introverted #broski started discussing how as he’s older he feels loneliness more tangibly but he hates people and i looked right at him and said …yeah #dude. that’s natural. we’re humans. we need each other to live. we need spaces we create and communities we make. but like. there need to be #interactive people in those spaces. we’re social creatures. i love you guys and this is a ramble but… it’s been on my mind awhile. and #frankly? feels kinda good to finally speak my mind.]

[queer-reader-07]

it is so vitally important to me that aziraphale and crowley not only love each other but choose to love each other.

i don’t want it to be fate. i don’t want it to be god’s will. i want it to be a conscious and continuous choice.

i want aziraphale choosing every day of his goddamn existence to love crowley and all that he is. i want aziraphale choosing to love crowley not in spite of being a demon, but because he is a demon. i want aziraphale choosing to love crowley’s curiosity and creative wonder. i want aziraphale choosing to love crowley’s love of plants and gardening.

i want crowley choosing to love aziraphale’s passion for books. i want crowley choosing to love aziraphale’s desire to do things the human way even if he could just miracle it. i want crowley choosing to love aziraphale’s angel-ness because it is a fundamental part of him.

i want aziraphale choosing to love everything about crowley and vise versa. and i want it to be a very conscious and intentional choice.

it being fate negates the entire point of the story. good omens is a love story between an angel and a demon, yes. but that’s not all that it is. it’s a story about two occult/ethereal beings who choose humanity over the great plan. two beings who choose the world over armageddon. and they make those choices because despite it all they have chosen to fall in love with the world and with humanity.

it only makes sense that they choose each other. that they choose their love. it being fate or god’s will ruins the foundational pillar of their relationship. that they choose each other over and over and over again. year after year, century after century, time and time again. they always choose. they choose the arrangement, they choose saving the other from harm, they choose lying to protect the other.

it is always a choice. and it better stay a choice or i am going to be so devastated.

#look i’m good with most anything for s3 #as long as they end up in the south downs & hug at least once i will be happy #but this is one thing that isn’t necessarily a need but more like a deep rooted desire that will break me if not met #like if it’s all ‘haha this was god’s plan all along’ i will be so upset #disappointed even #because neil can do better than that #he’s a better writer than that #not to mention it makes absolutely no sense in the context of the story #like i understand how it’s fun to play around with ‘they were made for each other’ #but i really want them to choose each other despite everything #because if i’m being honest it’s one of the things about aziracrow that feels fundamentally queer #to say ‘yeah fuck that’ to what the systems in power tell you you should act like #or who you should love and care for #and instead say ‘i choose this’ ‘i choose you’ to the people and things that actually fulfill you #that is powerful and that is foundational to queerness and queer liberation in my opinion #it’s not about fate or being made for whatever #it’s saying ‘i don’t care if it’s fate or the divine plan or not. it just is and you can’t change the fact that it simply /is/.’ #and maybe that’s just me #but it sure as hell makes sense in my mind #good omens #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #ineffable wives #neil gaiman #good omens meta #aziracrow meta #gomens meta

[stressedanime]

i was sO close to falling asleep and i accidentally started thinking about jason grace and now im going through the 5 stages of grief again

#i’m currently at anger #when i fucking tell yall #that i think it is so unfair that frank survived toa #and jason didn’t #when franks literal life force was burnt up #which meant he was supposed to die #but just didn’t because rick was feeling silly goofy that day #i can’t even finish my rant here because i’m getting too upset #toa spoilers #toa #trials of apollo #trials of apollo spoilers #jason grace #it’s 2 FUCKING AM I NEE DTO SLEEEEEP #ricky when i catch you ricky

[heylittleriotact]

I have never been more emotionally catapulted by a video game than I am from hugging a vampire. This is ridiculous.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion #astarion ancunin #usually my trauma gets projected onto my PC but larian was like guess what we have for you! #I remember *exactly* how it felt when I realized that this person genuinely gives a shit about me and wants me to be happy #oh I’m not just a feather in your cap? that’s so nice. #what? you mean my own desires and autonomy matter and you’ll actively encourage me to draw boundaries and say no to things? #you mean you’re not going to get upset and pouty because I’ve been sex averse for like a month and you’re not getting laid because of it? #I’m sorry - you’re just going to hug me and tell me not to worry about it and you’re not going anywhere? #I fucking married that person #im going to give him the biggest hug when I get home 🥲

[ickypuppi3]

thinking about billy’s mom leaving during the day while he’s at school

like billy waking up as usual and having breakfast with his mom, telling her what he’s gonna do at school that day, asking about what they’re gonna have for dinner together that evening, about going to the beach with her the coming weekend, his mom promising him all this stuff, telling him that yeah they can have ice cream later, strawberry? sure baby, whatever you want, billy’s mom kissing him goodbye, billy thinking she looks a little distant, a little sad but maybe it’s just because her and dad argued again

billy finishing up his day at school, getting on the bus and going home, billy putting his key in the door and realising it’s open already, him thinking that’s kinda weird since neither of his parents are usually home at that time but maybe his mom forgot to lock up that day, billy going to put his backpack in his room and noticing a note on his bedside table telling him that she’s so sorry baby and this isn’t forever, i’ll come get you as soon as i can, i love you, billy and p.s. try to be extra good for your dad, stay out of his way and do what he says, i promise this is for the best

and billy just sits down on his bed and stares at the note until it goes blurry, he goes into his parents room and sees that his mom’s things are gone, he goes to the kitchen to grab the phone before realising he has no number to call

and then he has to sit there and wait for neil to come home, wiping his tears away every two seconds because he knows crying makes his dad angry, just feeling completely and utterly helpless and alone

#billy who has no object permanence but like with people because his mom just upped and left when he wasn’t there #canon and real to me #billy hargrove #billy’s mom #nothing like a bit of angst to soothe the soul #imagine that kid just being left with neil #i’m so upset about him #like #neil #that’s the only person he has #the person he’s terrified of #the person who hates billy for being billy #like there’s literally nothing billy can do to make neil like him right #and he was stuck with him as a whole child #there was a good what? four years or something? when it was just the two of them #and then with susan maybe there was the glimmer of hope that she’d help #but then nothing #i’m going to be sick i hate it here #and then he died #that’s fucked actually

[zeb-z]

Cellbit who places flowers by his sons empty bed and wonders why he works for the federation if he can’t use it to his advantage, if all he does is end up alone. Who could barely handle when him and Roier were fighting, who was so grateful when Foolish would stick around to build for him when he was making himself public enemy to gain favor with the feds. Who pleads with Forever, who is so very clearly out of his mind, begging him not to leave him alone, not like this, not now of all times.

Cellbit who is keeping himself as calm and as balanced as he can, because he knows what it’s like to lose yourself, and he knows how isolating it can be. Who’s there for every one of the islanders even if it’s spreading him far too thin, backpack bursting with notes and photos and evidence with all the problems he’s relied on to help solve. Who’s building the Order to make sure that no matter where their allegiances lay, no one on the island will have to deal with the federation on their own. So they’ll have a place they can come together and rely on each other.

Cellbit who just doesn’t want to end up alone. Not again. Not anymore.

#today and yesterday is a combo that has knocked me the fuck out man #placing that flower at Richas bedside song of healing in the bg as he’s like why must i always end up alone where is my son #his voice cracking as he begs and pleads with forever to get through to him desperate because he can’t just leave him alone. not now of #all times. not with the stakes so high #who likes when people stay around him while he’s building. who seeks out interactions. who purposefully seeks #to create community between them #also the egg bears worth mentioning too like. finding that room and an egg who was abandoned and died alone #always remembering it. fuck man #I’m just. I’m so fucking upset dude #sorry guys I’m mentally ill abt him and etoiles and I won’t shut up about them <3 #mcyt #qsmp #Cellbit #q!cellbit #z speaks

[beckiboos]

Me when I start act 3

“Well I guess I better design my next character”

And this is why I have never finished the game

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate iii #ok so my first playthrough I got it here big brain battle in the sky right #so I guess I nearly won #ahh the game down I’ll finish this tomorrow #patch 1 drops and breaks the save #not joking I must have had like… 15 minutes left of the game if that #and I wasn’t that thrilled tbh cuz I became a mindflayer and astarion dumped me #so I was pretty upset this was my good ending and was hoping there was a suicide ending tbh because what was the ping of my character living #they now have no soul and been dumped and became the one thing you tried not to become #yey the city wins but I just lose I guess #and karlach offered to become a mindflayer but only if she eats Orpheus brain #??? #girl why is that your stipulation #if you don’t sacrifice Orpheus she just like nah I only wanted to eat his brain #and don’t get me started on the emperor part just not making any fucking sense #so what I know of the ending I’m not thrilled with #might just let Gale blow up tbh

[ghoatinaytherealone]

THE SILLIES

Lil pixel art thing for @farfetchedshow

#i also posted this in the far fetched discord and now i’m terrified :D #h #hoorayyy #far fetched show #farfetched #rue farfetched #kira farfetched #farfetched fanart #far fetched #procreate #tumblr just absolutely ruins the quality and i am so upset over that 🥲 #also go listen to their music and watch their stuff for the pilot because it sounds and looks fucking awesome #8 hours was not worth it for the piss poor background i summoned out of nowhere #now if you’ll excuse me #i must retreat back into my hermit hole where i will be spending countless hours doing nothing once again (art block go weeeee)

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

Observing peoples reactions to morally gray or black actions committed by different characters is so funny. Throughout all of G. War the character tags were chock-full of people unironically enraged claiming “Bruce isn’t even capable of doing something bad like that.” about an action that is pretty well in line with his character journey thus far, meanwhile there are still new posts that gain traction that open with lines like “I know Jason has committed his fair share of sins/crimes but” like bro when. In 2010?

Also. The whole premise of the b*tfamily™ that you so love is built on the load bearing wall being that they are a crime family. Hell, do people just collectively forget the part where Bruce manufactures and freely uses weapons with his own furry brand logo plastered all over them, causing all sorts of 'explosions and more!' property damage all over the streets of Gotham? Pretty sure that makes him a terrorist but you people don't feel the need to go around reminding fandom of that every five minutes.

#as someone who loves post crisis Jason more than the average person who considers themselves a Jason fan: #how much longer are we going to pretend that’s still where we are today #to all the people who get so fucking worked up anytime Jason does something other than sit there and look pretty #what exactly do you want to see him do in comics anyway? vacuum his apartment? #like please let him fuck shit up for people whose plans were messed up anyway please let him have opinions and act on them #kelseethe #these people assume fans like Jason *despite* all his ‘wrongdoings' #when we repeatedly post about why Jason fucking with people was epic and cool and justified #while they sit there being upset that their traumatized problematic fav with a god complex #acts like a traumatized problematic bitch with a god complex lol #‘do Jason fans even know why they like his character’ seems like someone is in need of some introspection #disclaimer: l'm not a bruce anti. you know that liking a problematic character doesn't mean wanting to erase #every atrocity he committed and putting him through a redemption arc #I just have low tolerance for the utter ignorance of some of his fans lol #and that of his writers who market him as the agreeable voice of reason #while simultaneously portraying him as an abusive father + war criminal lol #the way I used the terms ‘morally gray/black’ here is subjective. #personally I don’t consider killing drug dealers/kingpins in a fictional universe morally gray because I’m not a fucking narc lol #but abusing your son for over a decade then literally breaking his brain is undeniably morally black in & out of universe