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#not even in a blaming him way. he just had to work a lot and late hours when i was a kid

lemotmo · 16 hours

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I don't often do this, because I try to avoid discourse in fandom and sometimes you just don't vibe with a character. It happens.

But I keep seeing these horrible and, quite frankly, very wrong and disrespectful takes on Eddie Diaz' character. And I can't just sit here and ignore them anymore.

I cannot and will never understand why people don't like Eddie.

I've read some posts and comments earlier about people disliking Eddie and... really? Eddie is boring? He doesn't get interesting storylines? He's just a prop for Buck and his storylines?

Are we watching the same show here?

Eddie is, by far, one of the most interesting characters on 911. The man has had one trauma after the other piled up on him, but still he keeps going. Why? Because of the one thing that matters more to him than life itself: Christopher.

As a single mother myself, I can relate. The struggle to want to give your child everything, to do everything for them, even if it comes at the cost of your own mental and emotional well-being? It is very real. I cannot tell you how many times I end up crying to myself at night, blaming myself because I wasn't able to stop the outside world from hurting my son. And you have to do it all by yourself as well. There is no one there to share the burden with, to share the heartache with. It's tough and it's real.

Eddie's storylines are intricate and nuanced and based in reality. They aren't necessarily the biggest and loudest storylines, but they still matter to people who can relate to him. People like me.

Now, 911 is guilty of showing a lot of important Eddie moments from someone else's point of view. That is true. Especially Buck's POV. The shooting comes to mind, even a part of his breakdown and more recently Eddie's friendship with Tommy. He made a bro-friend and seemed so happy and carefree, but since we saw it from Buck's POV, we can't fully trust this image.

So, I think that is why some people see him as just a prop in Buck's story. But it's much more complex than that. Buck stepped inside Eddie's world without complaint. He helped him out from day one by introducing Eddie to Carla. For the first time, Eddie is no longer alone in life. There is someone there who understands him and his love for Chris. He can safely rest and trust that Buck will be there to step in if necessary. He actually went ahead and put it in his will. Eddie loves the way that Buck loves his son. And the show is still using that bond to date. We saw Buck and Eddie in conversation about Chris, Buck talking to Chris, Buck being jealous of Chris thinking Tommy was cool...

I don't know what the future will bring for Eddie, but I desperately want and need him to be happy. And yes, I do think the narrative will eventually lead him to Buck. His happiness has always been intricatelly linked to Christopher. The way they keep weaving in Christopher in Buck's storyline? The way Eddie keeps being inserted in Buck's bisexuality storyline? These are some of the many reasons that give me absolute certainty that Buddie is in the works.

In conclusion? Just stop hating on Eddie Diaz folks. It's not a good look on you.

#eddie diaz #buddie #christopher diaz #evan buckley #eddie is no one's storyline prop #he is his own person #and I'm very proud to say that he is my favourite 911 character

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 3 days

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Hello! In one of your previous posts you mentioned the game purposefully hiding the faces of figures who play a significant role in each OB boy’s trauma. So do you think this applies to Idia's parents as well (they have masks to cover their faces and they don't even have separate sprites but the default STYX members' sprites)?

[Referencing this post!]

There’s a lot to unpack here, so I’ve put my thoughts under the cut!! I hope you enjoy reading ^^

***Note: Many spoilers for books 6 + 7 of the main story!!***

I definitely wouldn’t put the Shroud parents into the same category as like… Mrs. Rosehearts, who was basically the origin from which other issues stemmed. The Shroud parents themselves were not the “root cause” for Idia’s trauma, the “cause” was Ortho’s death and Idia feeling immense guilt and shame about it. Not once has Idia blamed his parents or implicated them for this misfortune (not counting the Shroud curse, which is really the fault of their ancestors and not the Shroud parents in particular). I guess where some fans feel there is an issue is the implication that the Shroud parents did not seem to be there emotionally for Idia or offer him healthy coping mechanisms for his issue??

Before I give my thoughts on why the Shroud mom and dad obscure their faces (and how this does or doesn’t fit into the “purposefully obscuring the faces of those significantly related to each boy’s trauma), allow me to offer a different perspective to those who find fault with Idia’s parents. Firstly, consider that we know very little about the period of time between Ortho’s death leading up to Idia enrolling at NRC. Even then, most of what we know of this period comes directly from Idia, which provides us with a biased and limited perspective. Idia views most things negatively and does not seem close with his parents, so it makes sense that he would describe them in an inflated and unflattering way.

I think where a lot of the initial thoughts about the Shrouds being bad parents (a sentiment I myself had prior to their book 7 reveals) predominantly comes from them not being present in Idia’s post-OB flashback and Idia stating that his parents care more about results than their son’s feelings. We also learn from later that the family used to go out a lot as a group, but those trips stopped after Ortho died. These heavily imply his mom and dad were not there for Idia after the… incident. But let’s back up for a moment; where does the flashback pick up after Ortho died? Over two years later. That’s a large gap to not be knowing what the Shroud parents were doing during it. The STYX employees present also state that Idia has “completely withdrawn” ever losing Ortho, and this could be inclusive of the parents. So… we don’t really know for sure if, during this expanse of 2 years, the parents never made an effort to reach out. Even if they did, it seems highly likely that Idia rejected them. It’s possible that the flashback didn’t feature the parents because Idia largely shut them out of his life or did not deem them to be deeply linked to his trauma; he laments only the general family curse and the loss of Ortho, he does not direct hate at either parent in the flashback.

What we also have to remember is that it wasn’t just Idia that lost a brother that terrible day. Mr. and Mrs. Shroud their sons; Ortho literally (he passed away) and Idia figuratively (as he started to emotionally distance and isolate himself). That’s tough for any parent, but the world cannot stop for them just because they experienced a tragedy. Unfortunately, life moves on and the Shroud parents are in such important positions that they need to work. This is especially true of Mr. Shroud, who oversees all of STYX operations and is burdened with a curse that demands he constantly be surrounded by blot or else the curse will start to chip away at his own magical energy. They need to do this while juggling their own sadness over losing Ortho. There’s only so much time the Shroud parents can try to comfort Idia when they have work, their own emotional trauma to work through, and their surviving son who doesn’t seem to welcome any efforts they put in. You could even theorize that the Shroud parents (particularly the dad) threw themselves into work to try and bury their own feelings. The Shrouds do obviously have a responsibility to Idia as his parents, but parenting is not so easy of a task. They’re still individuals who have other things to balance alongside parenting and they realistically cannot dedicate 100% of their time or energy to Idia.

Now, please do not misunderstand me. I don’t want my words to come off like I’m pointing fingers or victim blaming. What I’m trying to say here is that it isn’t Idia OR his parents’ fault that they grew distant; to me, both parties were busy dealing with their own complicated emotions and their coping methods didn’t seem to align (because different people can have very different trauma responses) and ended up hurting Idia even more in the end. Making mistakes is human and normal. We've seen other characters also falter with their past actions and what they were or were not able to do at the time (Trey not standing up for or to Riddle, Lilia acting callously towards his children, etc.). This by itself is NOT necessarily a bad thing or something to hate on them for; I'd argue that what matters much more is how those matters were dealt with and what the results of those efforts have been. In the case of the Shroud parents, they do not appear to have bad blood with Idia or Ortho in modern day and the game has really done little to indicate that the Shroud parents should be viewed in a morally grey light. They've welcomed Ortho as a part of their family, openly refer to him like a third son, supported his official enrollment as a NRC student, and worry about his safety when Ortho tries to rush headfirst into danger. As for Idia, though he sometimes grumbles about his parents and tends to their actions as coming from a place of not caring, his peers have pointed out that being scolded is proof of his parents’ love for him. For example, Idia complains that his parents have sent him back to NRC so they don’t have to deal with a “nuisance” like him. He also says that there has been public interest in STYX and demand for accountability, which has specifically put his father under fire. We could view the situation like Idia has—that has parents wanted him out of their way. However, as Rook so tactfully pointed out, Idia’s parents must hold deep affection for him. This implies that the Shrouds chose to send Idia back to school for his own safety, and Mr. Shroud was willing to take the full brunt of the heat himself rather than let people suspect his son, whom Mr. Shroud must know is socially anxious. Idia has plenty of other stories about how his parents punished him for dangerous tech modifications he made, and how they’d take away his gadgets as punishment. Again, because they care about their children and their safety, even if they (especially his more stern and work-oriented father) may not show it in conventionally affectionate ways. Idia has pessimistic views that color his parents as annoying and isn’t as close to them anymore as he used to be, but this doesn’t condemn the Shrouds to the eternal hall of bad parents who never ever learn or refuse to change their ways.

Now, about their outfits! Mr. and Mrs. Shroud wear the same robes as NPC staff at STYX. This much is true!! … But I don’t think there is any deep meaning in this, seeing as Idia too wears the same robes?? I believe this is just the default work uniform for STYX researchers, regardless of the position they’re in (so this uniform detail does not technically contribute to the “intentional obscuring” of the Shroud parents’ designs).

We don’t really know what the reason for them wearing the helmets is, and nor is there very strong implication as to why. There have been plenty of fan speculations and theories including but not limited to: special personal protective equipment, magical enhancement gear, general Shroud family shyness, cost/time saving measure for the devs, etc. I can’t really say one way or another which is the “most correct” idea 🤷‍♂️

What I will say is that I do not think there was an intent to hide the Shroud parents’ faces for the same reasons that Mrs. Rosehearts’ face was. Why? Well:

Their faces are not censored in the same way as Mrs. Rosehearts was in the manga; she has her face shaded out by black, but we can still see the details of her outfit. The Shrouds, meanwhile are making the conscious decision to wear helmets—and highly personalized helmets at that. (Mr. Shroud’s helmet is different in colors and design than Mrs. Shroud’s.) This indicates individuality and wanting to make the Shroud parents stand out, not to homogenize them as anonymous black blots at which the OB boys’ trauma finds its roots.

To build off of my previous point, the comment about purposefully obscuring the face of the "source" of Riddle's trauma was ONLY said in the context of the manga, NOT the game. Therefore, in-game assets cannot be considered reliable for "the Shroud parents wear helmets to hise their faces; hidden faces = source of an OB boy's trauma" theory. If you doubt this, then please refer to each boy’s post-OB flashback. In the game, it is not just the sources of their trauma that are blotted out in black, it is literally every character (even the ones with positive memories or experiences associated with them). This includes Trey and Che’nya, whose younger form faces ARE openly depicted in the manga. So again, the “obscuring the faces of characters who are major trauma sources” thing only applies to the manga and the game does not follow this.

The Shrouds are largely depicted in a positive light. The negative aspects of them tend to come from Idia, who tends to have a pessimistic slant to his perception of the world and other people.

Idia’s personal accounts and even his post-OB flashbacks do not attribute or credit his parents for any aspect of his trauma. Much of the guilt and shame he feels is self-imposed and directed at himself.

As I’ve pointed out earlier in this post, we are assuming a lot of things about what happened in Idia’s life following Ortho’s death. The downside to this is that it doesn’t grant the parents any grace and takes everything we see (as little as it is) at face value without considering alternatives or how the parents could have changed in recent years.

Again, we don’t have a lot of information on why the Shrouds wear the helmets. I don’t think it’s wise to assume it’s for a bad reason when most of the canon has indicated we are supposed to “like” the Shrouds (or, at the very least, they’re supposed to be “redeemed” compared to the initially negative comment we were given of them).

In conclusion: no, I don’t think Idia’s parents are wearing their helmets because they’re associated with their son’s trauma. To me, the helmets feel like something they must wear for some in-universe purpose such as additional protection or to indicate their role within the organization.

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neverevan · 8 hours

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Just curious because I'm always wondering about that.. If you think tommy picked up on their crazy close dynamic in such a short time, do you think the others have too? Or is that just buckandeddie to them and they don't think anything of it? Hen's "about time" comment made me wonder what she thinks, if she had eddie-suspicions over the years or if she just picked up on a general vibe from buck

I think it's a bit of both actually. because Buck and Eddie? they are absolutely cuckoo insane about each other, like genuinely not-normal.

it becomes the most obvious when other members of the team are in danger; Buck stays relatively calm no matter how worried he is, he makes a plan and tries to scheme to save them.

like in the crossover episode, he waited for hours and then tried to steal a truck when everyone was out or sleeping, even though Hen could've been long dead. and Buck loves Hen, like a lot, a lot, they are family!! and when the Jonah thing went down?? with Hen and Chim? he was on the tailend of it, worried and upset and when Albert got hurt in that car accident? when Bobby was trapped inside a burning building with an active shooter and Athena went in there after him?? these are all people Buck undoubtedly loves like family.

he was worried, but he kept it together every time.

when the well collapsed on top of Eddie, he tried to dig through 45 feet of loose mud to get to him by hand. when Eddie got shot and was in the hospital, Buck flipped out and broke down more than once, but most notably when telling Christopher about it after finding out that Eddie's gonna be okay.

similarly when the lightning hit Buck, Eddie ran up the ladder without a safety line and tried to pull him up by hand; Buck weighs like 200+ lbs plus the gear, there was no chance in hell he could've done that and Eddie isn't stupid, he knows that too. Bobby had to banish him to the driver's seat to make sure he wouldn't be in the way, then Eddie barely parked the ambulance when he was already on top of Buck, taking over CPR, then proceeded to spend the next couple of days by haunting the hospital's walls like a grieving widow.

when the truck fell on Buck's leg, Eddie wouldn't let go of his hand and when he coughed up blood, he looked more than just concerned for that split second we saw him. when he spotted Buck after the tsunami and thought that he lost Christopher? there wasn't an ounce of blame on his face.

in conclusion, they have been always just very unhinged about each other, but I think because they all work in close proximity with each other day in and day out, it's harder to differentiate these things because even in real life, firefighters are like a family; they eat, sleep and exercise together, their blood family is just as involved with each other as they are, because that's just how close you get when you have to put your life into each other's hands all the time.

but Eddie and Buck are (as pointed out above) are just taking it to a whole new level when you consider all the family stuff they do together and the will... I think at this point it's sort of a "well this is just Buck and Eddie, they might as well be married" thing for the 118.

I don't think it's something they actively consider to have romantic/sexual undertones, but they all understand that their bond is extremely strong, so they wouldn't be surprised if the relationship progressed into that direction.

in Buck's case specifically, I think Hen saw the signs before Eddie even joined the 118. especially since Buck admitted that he always checked out hot guys — I don't suppose that goes unnoticed when you spend half your life with the same group of people.

#this got looong sorry #i know i'm in the bt gutter currently but buddie are just insane soulmatism right there and it still makes me feral #wish i could use all this writing energy in my wip smh #buddie #evan buckley #911 #911 abc #ask #anon #my stuff

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heartsformars · 2 days

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Under my wing~ hazbin hotel ships & Child! Reader

(platonic ofc)

CHARACTERS: Charlie & Vaggie, Angel Dust & Husk and featuring Alastor as the single dad!!

TW: Abandonment involved, mention of Valentino , alastor being an exemplary father (sarcasm), bad jokes, the reader is a hellborn, drama, reader being tortured (i.e. going through puberty).

One rainy day, a crying mother would leave her little baby in a dumpster, hoping someone else would find they or hopefully, they would die. She would leave, not knowing what would happen to you or how you would protect yourself from the dangers of hell. That place, which in spite of its high temperature could be considered cold, and unfortunately you had to learn that as soon as you arrived in the underworld. However, a shadow would be seen in that alley after hearing your cries of despair.Saving you (possibly) from dying under the hands of other foul demons But who is it…

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CHARLIE & VAGGIE

The one that got you home was definitely Charlie Could you blame her? She thought you were so cute! How could anyone leave you alone at such a young age? However, she still had a little bit of her girlfriend's reaction. -Vaggie, what would you do if one day I came home with a baby? -Show both hands charlie - -probably at first she would refuse, a baby was a lot of responsibility, and they already had enough with the hotel however it would be easy to convince her with your and Charlie's gaze. -She would just sigh and say she was fine with it while Charlie died of emotion and you just laughed. -Listen, they are both very attentive and would accept your every decision as mothers, there is really no way you wouldn't feel loved with them. -when they are both busy they will probably leave you with someone from the hotel. Neither of them trust Alastor, sir pentious was too distracted, Angel dust was definitely a bad choice and nifty wasn't even an option so you'll most likely be left in charge of Husk. -you'd probably just be sitting at the bar while angel dust is trying to convince you to say a bad word or give the poor bartender the middle finger. -Husk would just look at him with contempt. -However, when vaggie comes back from her errand and goes to see you, she's probably in for a surprise.

-How are you doing honey, husk take good care of you?- -Mama, you, fak you, dumb- -WHAT- -and you've got angel dust laughing on the stairs. -Probably after that Charlie would give a talk on respect (with you present obviously). -Although after she reconciled with her father she would definitely be Charlie's first choice to leave you in charge. -Although she was a bit scared at first, her father took it well so she didn't worry so much. -now, lucifer would be a BUNCH OF NERVES. He would grab you like you were some kind of crystal figure being afraid to drop you at some point. -after all you are his baby's baby! And his daughter hates him again if he throws you off the fifth floor? -he would probably keep you distracted with some rubber duckies and make some specials for you and keep you dristraide while he figures out what activities to do with you. -he haven't babysat a child like this in a long time. -however, it all works out (surprisingly) well! Even Charlie almost cries when she sees her dad asleep on the couch with you asleep on his chest. (She didn't bother to wake you two up) -now, I really don't think Charlie would be so strict with you, she wouldn't let you do whatever you wanted, but she would leave some room for your freedom and development! -on the other hand vaggie... -she's really not THAT strict but she won't have Mercy when it comes to punishing you when you do something wrong. -If you break a window accidentally don't think you'll get away with it, she'll probably make you replace it yourself to learn the consequences of your actions. -Other than that, however, they were both very patient with you. Always being there for you every step of the way. -And then after that you hit puberty. -They would probably have a hard time with your mood swings and other teenage problems. -however, they would always try to understand what you're feeling and not judge you for anything. -Especially Charlie -Now, if you introduced they to a boyfriend/girlfriend… -God, they would be in a mental duel, both of them. -However, the one who accepted your partner as part of her family first was definitely Charlie. -And vaggie would be fine with that! However, expect her to be watching you two 24/7. -But it's great to meet someone who makes our little baby so happy!- -Yeah…-

-Feel that they would both try to get you to have a certain part of their personality. However, you have the choice of how to be in the end and they couldn't force you to be something you don't want, neither of them 💓. -10/10 Mothers, I would let them adopt me.

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HUSK & ANGEL DUST

The one who took you to the hotel for the first time was Angel, I doubt that Husk leaves the hotel much outside of going to the casino or to a tavern... or both. -I mean, everyone was surprised when ANGEL DUST came with a baby to the hotel but it was fine for everyone. -Except for husk -There's no way you're planning on taking care of that kid! -Listen, I found him in a dumpster, all alone with no one to take care of him. I had to bring it in, who knows what would have happened to it if I left it there! -A child is not some kind of fucking joke, you know very well the contracts we're in. You, and me. If we're not free we doubt very much that child can be… -There would probably be a little dispute, however Husk would accept it... not so fast. Eventually he'll warm up to you, though, don't worry .-Charlie or vaggie will probably always find him sitting at the bar with you while he's looking his usual sour self. -although Charlie finds it mildly endearing-Angel dust hurts to leave you with Fat nuggets when he has to go somewhere fast. -and if he didn't, his first choice of nanny would probably be Charlie. -And she'd be happy to take care of you -she'd definitely spoil you with gifts and say things like "where's baby" -And on your birthday she would be the first to give you clothes or a toy. -and angel dust loves being able to have someone to leave you with when Val got heavy and Husk was too busy. -And even though Angel loves you very much sometimes (could) become a bad influence.... -but when that happens Husk is usually there to scold him.... -Husk wouldn't like you interacting with Alastor very much -even if he keeps a "good" attitude towards you he is afraid that he might use you as something to threaten him or that he might hurt you -and whenever he sees him trying to approach you he tries to intervene in some way.... -Oh but who could this little sweetie be- -and you have husk taking you in his arms making some silly excuse like "oh they’re hungry" or "it's just that it's bedtime!" when it literally might be three in the afternoon -although you wouldn't always be a child, and that was something they both knew. -but when you actually reach puberty… -And from then on Angel would have to learn to share his animal companion (and comfort) fat nuggets -The one who would know the most how to help you and listen to you would be Husk, he would definitely give the best advice for your worst situations. -And even if angel really can't even help himself, he will try to help you and support you in everything. -Overall good parents, 9/10 if I would let him adopt me, my parents, I love them,

───────────────── ✦

ALASTOR

-At the beginning, he saw you as a potential apprentice. -wouldn't really feel much of a parental attachment to you, he would use you mainly for his own convenience. -After all, every "mastermind" needs an apprentice, right? -although just because you are an avenue to continue his power doesn't mean he won't take proper care of you. -he would mainly leave you with Rosie and satan, you would find out everything from her. -and she would definitely spoil you as if you were her little girl. -she would be like that cool aunt who always sends you gifts lol -and you would ADORE her -Alastor would have passive-aggressive parenting with you. -you know when he gets mad even if he doesn't look mad, it's the experience I guess -surprisingly, even with alastor as a caregiver I feel like you wouldn't be as much of a son of a bitch as he is… at least hopefully… -you would get along with most of the people in the hotel except for husk -I wouldn't trust you much but i wouldn't hate you, just keep your distance -would teach you a lot of his tactics and powers -you would probably always try to smile like him to keep up the habit -although sometimes you forget and you're just serious, although he would take care to remind you every time he sees you TOO serious. -in general he would try to make you not to make his mistakes, since you were a child he would fill you with discreet lessons that will eventually serve you when you grow up, trust him… but be careful of his advice too. -ok, alastor has a few scores to settle with many of the sinners and overlords so don't be surprised if you have some idiots behind you trying to kill you lol -though don't worry, you'll always have your "father' to have your back. -although of the main ones would be vox, however as long as you don't pay much attention to him and stay out of his conflicts I doubt he'll do much against you. -he will probably call you by nicknames like "sweetheart", "little lady" (if you are a woman) or "darling" but never daughter or son -you are really just his apprentice, as I said before he doesn't see you as a real son or daughter -but if you call him father he wouldn't mind, but I'm not sure if he would be happy about it or not. -but he probably doesn't even care lol -6/10 as a father, at least he cares and protects you but you are not so much like a child to him

— This wasn't something I had planned to write, it just came out lol but I hope you enjoy it anyway, I don't have any requests right now and I have TOO MUCH things I want to write so expect anything from me these days.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin Hotel x reader #hazbin hotel platonic #charlie x vaggie #chaggie #vaggie #charlie morningstar #angel dust x husk #huskerdust #angel dust x reader #husk x reader #platonic #kid reader #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #Radio demon #vox #xov

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 2 hours

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The Pathology Murders

Summary: When the reader and the boys stumble across a gruesome scene, they get the feeling that the monster they're hunting is of the human variety...

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: 5,800ish

Warnings: language, angst, lots of mentions of gore/death, trauma, accident, fluff

A/N: This fic was inspired by this imagine (which makes an appearance in this one shot) and also by the horror movie Pathology!

________

“What the hell…” Dean and Sam looked around the abandoned house, pausing like you had when they got to the kitchen. Your boys weren’t wimps by any means. They’d seen some serious crap. Done some serious crap. But that kitchen?

It took Sam all of three seconds to step out of the room and upheave his greek salad from lunch.

Meanwhile Dean took it all in before his eyes landed on where you were trying to work the scene, fighting back another dry heave.

“You alright?” he asked. You knew he was concerned. You weren’t one to puke up your guts either. But the poor soul on the kitchen table, or rather what was left of him…twisted wasn’t even the right word for it.

“Not particularly,” you said, pointing at a glass jar that housed a pair of kidneys on the stove. “Not all the organs made it into jars. Pretty sure the liver is in the sink.”

Dean cautiously took a step inside, swallowing thickly. Unlike you or Sam, who had your own experiences with hell, Dean’s had been far more…interactive. Sam’s soul was battered around by Lucifer but it’d been more psychological than physical. You’d spent an unpleasant night with a hellhound in the same cage and while it hadn’t been fun, you’d been able to stay in a corner and out of harms way. Dean though…Dean had been sliced and diced and hacked and every other possible horror, imaginable or not. And then he’d performed the acts himself. You never blamed him for giving in, for breaking. You’d told him time and time again he was, and always would be, a good man.

Some days, more often lately it seemed the older he got, he seemed to believe you.

“Whoever did this performed an autopsy on this guy. While he was alive,” said Dean, leaning over the body to get a closer look. “Huh. Anybody see a heart around here?”

You surveyed the bloody room, finding more than a few peculiar shaped body parts but nothing resembling a heart. Sam finally made his way in, taking a deep inhale as he got used to the gore before him. “I got nothing over here.”

“Could be a werewolf,” said Dean, cocking his head as he straightened, brow furrowing. “Or a witch.”

You knew he wasn’t buying that though, neither of you were. You tore your eyes away from the search to watch Sam’s expression flare up with a strange look of familiarity. “Sammy?”

“I think a person did this,” he said. Dean rolled his eyes.

“No shit Sherlock. Someone used a knife or-”

“No, jackass,” said Sam, shooting Dean a harsh look for a brief second. “I mean I think this was a human, like an actual human. They were just talking about a cold case like this on a podcast I listened to during my run last week.”

“You and your fucking serial killer obsession,” muttered Dean. Sam’s eye twitched, the tension rising in the room. “It’s fucking weird, Sammy.”

“We hunt monsters, dumbass. How is that any different?”

“That’s our job. You don’t see me watching murder documentaries like a certain someone in my free time.” Sam got closer to Dean, Dean taking one to match, both boy’s jaws clenching.

“Hey,” you said with a snap of your fingers, the pair reluctantly turning towards you. “Dean, plenty of people are interested in cold cases and as long as Sam isn’t a serial killer himself, his hobby is fine. Sam, Dean just gets concerned that you don’t take enough of a break from hunting but he can’t come out and say that. So hug and make up. You’re on the same side.”

They both grumbled and gave each other a half-assed embraced but it made you smile regardless.

“So what’d your murder podcast say?” asked Dean, walking around to the other side of the cut open body. Sam’s face soured. “That good, huh?”

“They called them the Pathology Murders. A string of five victims about ten years ago that went unsolved. The killer performed live autopsies like you said about this guy earlier. The only lead they ever had was that the killer must have medical training, like a doctor, based on what they did to the victims. Oh, and all the murders took place in the Seattle area.”

“Which downtown is only twenty minutes from here,” you said, crossing your arms. “Was the heart missing at the other scenes?”

“I’m not sure. They could have skimmed over that,” said Sam. Your gaze followed Dean’s, his green eyes laced with uncertainty. “I can do some research back at the motel. You guys could check in with Seattle PD, see if the case files have anything useful.”

“We should double check that it’s not our kind of monster and if it really is a person-”

“We’re not working this case,” said Dean. Your eyebrows shot up, Sam’s face already frowning. “We do not investigate serial killers. Save it for the police.”

“Uh, what the hell is going on? You would never let a killer, monster or human, stay on the loose,” said Sam.

Dean’s gaze shot to you and quickly away, his eyes turning sharp as they zeroed in on Sam. You scoffed, Sam cocking his head in question.

“It’s because my mom was murdered. By a serial killer. Isn’t it, Dean?” Dean’s lips pressed into a thin hard line and you shook your head. “They caught her killer which you know. What does that have anything to do with-”

“You caught the killer, you did that,” said Dean, Sam completely lost. He knew your mom had been killed but not the gory details like Dean.

“Wouldn’t that be a good thing then?” he asked. “Y/N has experience with this sort of thing then.”

“Why don’t you explain to Sammy just exactly what you did to ‘catch’ her killer then, sweetheart. Go on. I’m sure he’d love to hear it.” You glared at Dean, feeling an unpleasant prickling in your eyes. Dean didn’t back down as you teared up though, instead focusing on Sam. “She let herself be bait. She let herself get caught by the son of a bitch. She almost died because she doesn’t see when she’s going too far with serial killers. The same thing happened on that Tulsa case five years ago.”

You could sense Sam had shifted very quickly to being on Dean’s side of this argument. You’d been young and reckless with your mom’s killer, barely a day over eighteen. That was years and years ago. You’d learned since then to use more sense. Tulsa…well your plan as being bait would have worked if your former hunting partner hadn’t been more focused on getting some ass that night than watching your back.

“Yeah, that’s how we met, Sam. Not working a case. No, Y/N was fucked and if I hadn’t been driving back from Jody’s that night and saw the fucking asshole grab her, she’d be dead. Wouldn’t you?” Dean snarled. You narrowed your misty eyes at him, Dean lifting his chin. “We will make sure this isn’t our kind of deal and if it is in fact a run of the mill serial killer, we are getting the fuck out of here, understand me?”

“I fucked up once. Once,” you breathed out. You swallowed thickly, wiping off your face with your jacket sleeve. “Just how many times have you been kidnapped Dean in the five years that I’ve known you? I’ve been taken once. You? How many times have I cut you loose? Taken out the monster with a knife to your throat? A gun to your head? How many times have you gotten lost in a case? Gone on a rampage? I never realized we were keeping score.”

Dean’s gaze fell to the floor, his hand running over his jaw, searching for the right words.

“Sam, go back to the motel and research. Dean and I’ll do the fed schitk and get the files we can. Whoever’s behind this, I’m going after them. You two can do whatever the hell you want,” you said, storming out of the room and out of the house.

“You look pretty,” said Dean softly a few hours later as you exited the motel bathroom in your fed suit, a light blue button down blouse with your charcoal gray suit jacket and pants. You ignored him as you dug through your duffel for your pointed black booties. Professional but also you knew for a fact you could run and fight in them. You growled in frustration when you couldn’t find them though, hearing Dean clear his throat behind your back. You glanced over your shoulder, following Dean’s gaze to where he’d set them down by the end of the bed.

“Thanks,” you grumbled, slipping them on and pulling up the side zipper. Dean was sporting his navy suit today, the one he looked extra hot in. You ignored that fact as you tucked your gun into the back of your pants, fixing your suit jacket over it.

“Y/N.” You sighed, giving him a look that you really didn’t want to do this right now. He took a long breath, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Sam quietly slinked out of the room into his adjoining one. Most of the time the three of you shared but when you could swing it, Sam got his own next door to give you and Dean some privacy.

Privacy you didn’t necessarily want at this moment.

“You do good cop, I’ll be the hardass if it comes to it,” you said, shoving your phone in your pocket. You tried to walk past him for the door but he caught your hand, stopping you after a few feet. “Dean.”

“I do not, and have never, thought you were weak. But serial killers are a blindspot for you. Sam and I both have them. This is yours.” He lowered his head, like he was fighting the words that were coming out.

To your surprise, he dropped your hand and stood.

“Be careful on this one, sweetheart.” He walked past you to the motel door, cracking it open and pausing. “We should get going.”

“You sure I’m not going to lose it? Get too carried away and get myself captured?” you said, unable to stop from poking back after his earlier insinuations. Dean’s shoulders rose and fell, one hand going to the doorframe to grip it as you watched the back of his head lower.

“Y/N, don’t you know by now I’m an idiot that’d rather lose you because I’m a dick than find you in the hands of some monster like whoever did that to that poor guy? Don’t you know I know you’re stronger than me? Don’t you think I realize how hard it is to be with someone like me?”

“You don’t stop Sam from doing dangerous things,” you said. “You don’t bring up the past to him.”

“Yes I have,” he said quietly. “And convincing Sam to stay in a motel room where it’s safe to research has never been hard thankfully.”

“You don’t treat me with the same respect though,” you said softly. “It hurts to know you never will think of me as being as capable as he is all because I’m your girlfriend.”

Dean shook his head, straightening his back. “You are more than capable, sweetheart. But sometimes…I just want to be a man that protects his girl. I don’t want to be scared of failing you for once…because if that monster got anywhere near you…”

You took quiet steps over to him, staring at his broad shoulders as they sagged.

“Eventually everyone I love dies or has something awful happen to them. Maybe I don’t say it the right way but fucking hell, all I want is for those things to not happen to you.” He spun around, green eyes full of worry. You nodded, taking his hand and lacing your fingers together. He squeezed them gently, the warmth of it pleasant.

“Our job is dangerous, Dean. We hunt the monsters, supernatural or not. I love you but you don’t get to keep me locked away.” You ran your thumb over his scuffed up skin, still healing form last week’s hunt. “That said…I promise not to get so angry if you promise to just say you’re scared for me. We’ll figure it out, okay?”

“Okay,” he said, a flicker of a smile on his face. “I just have a bad feeling about this one.”

“Then we’ll be smart, okay?” You leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “And don’t call yourself an idiot. I don’t like it.”

“Okay, sweetheart,” he said. “Let’s go figure out what the hell is going on.”

Two Hours Later

“This guy’s a fucking psycho,” you said into your phone while Dean came outside with a bag of burgers and fries. “Apparently he sends the hearts to the victims families in a little box with a bow.”

“Sounds about right for a guy who cuts people open for fun,” said Sam on the other end. “I’m gonna pour through the records you just sent over.”

“Alright. Dean and I should be back in fifteen-”

“Why don’t you guys have a date night? I got this for a few hours.” You bit your bottom lip, Sam’s silence going on. “Come on, Y/N. You guys should talk about Dean’s protectiveness and your stubbornness.”

You wanted to argue that fact but sighed, closing your eyes.

“Any suggestions on how we find that line when our job is to hunt killers?” you asked.

“Maybe remember that he’s your boyfriend first, hunting partner second. Most boyfriends wouldn’t want their girlfriend near a serial killer either, no matter what their job.”

“Don’t have good points, Samuel,” you said as Dean took a seat next to you on Baby’s hood. “We’ll be back in two hours.”

You hung up and dove your hand into the bag of fries, smirking when Dean presented you with a chocolate milkshake. He grinned as you dipped the fry in it and tossed it back, giving him a big thumbs up.

“I love you,” you said, Dean smiling as he dug out his burger. “I always love you, even when we fight.”

He glanced at you, landing a gentle kiss on your lips in the next moment. He barely moved his lips, letting them linger instead. He moved back only an inch and nodded. “I was a dickhead earlier. All because I’m afraid of finding you with a serial killer standing over you with a giant ass knife again. I don’t know why I can’t just come out and say that shit in the moment.”

“Because you’re human,” you said, wrapping an arm around his waist. “And you’re so much better at talking to me than five years ago. The old you wouldn’t have even been able to say that to me.”

“I try,” he said, letting you kiss him, your own a tad more forceful than his had been.

“That’s all I ask for,” you said, Dean’s phone going off at that exact moment. He sighed as he took it out, Sam’s name appearing. He tapped it onto speaker and took a bite of his burger. “What’s up Sammy?”

“Guys, I think I figured something out. All the victims were patients at Mercy West hospital back in the day and this latest guy? He was a patient there last week.” You and Dean shared a frown. “Yeah, I know. The cops investigated all of the hospital staff there back then but they never came up with anything. They thought maybe a doctor was behind it but he died in a car accident between the second and third vics.”

“It could have been him and he had a partner. Definitely is someone with access to records so they have to work there,” said Dean as you held up a finger. “What?”

“I could have sworn I’ve heard about this hospital in the news before. Something to do with a boat accident?” you asked. You heard Sam typing loudly before he hummed.

“Yup. They made national news about six months ago when seven of their medical students died in a boating accident. Explosion apparently when they got boozed up and had a bonfire on the boat. The bodies were so bad they couldn’t identify the remains,” said Sam. Dean took another bite of his burger and swallowed. “Already checking through the police files. Shit.”

“Shit what, Sam?” you asked, dunking a fry in your milkshake.

“Shit as in the boat accident wasn’t an accident at all. There was definitely an explosion but they found damage on the bodies indicating some injuries occurred before death. Like being carved up alive. They don’t want the public knowing the killer is still active in the area.”

“It’s gotta be someone linked to that hospital. Only question is why can’t the police figure out who?” asked Dean.

“Good question,” said Sam. “I’m going to keep digging, see if there’s a connection between the two we missed.”

“Thanks Sammy. We’ll be back in twenty to help,” said Dean, hanging up. He glanced at you, biting the inside of his cheek.

“This isn’t a monster,” you said quietly. “At least, it’s a human one.”

Dean polished off the rest of his meal quietly, the air still for a few beats.

“When you get too worried about me on hunts, you put yourself in danger,” you said, slowly sipping from the shake. His heated gaze was on you as you handed him the drink. “You have to trust that I’m strong enough to do this. Careful and capable. We both need to work on that.”

“Alright. But do me a favor? Stick close to me or Sammy on this one. You’re just…” You waited, let him find his words. He took the drink and finished it off, shoving the trash in the bag. “You just got over that shoulder injury. Your punches don’t hit as hard as normal right now. I don’t mean that in a bad way, just-”

“Okay,” you said, finding his hand, slipping yours inside. “Now let’s figure out who this bastard is.”

He hummed, letting go of you for a brief moment so he could toss the garbage away. You slid inside the passenger seat, Dean back and behind the wheel after the blink of an eye. Approximately ten seconds later you were pulling out of the parking lot and on the road, headed down main street and for the motel.

“So I was thinking this guy does autopsies on victims right?” said Dean, turning the radio down low on a soft rock station. You glanced out the window on the dark night, a rumble of thunder overhead. “But the cops can’t find him. Well, isn’t there someone that sometimes works at hospitals and for the police that would be able to fuck with a body after the fact and hide traces of their involvement?”

“A pathologist. I was thinking that too but wouldn’t that have been their first look? I mean they literally call them the Pathology Murders,” you said, waiting for the the light to turn green. “It could be someone that knows someone at the department covering for them. Stranger things have happened.”

“Maybe. I get the gist this guy works alone though. I only clocked one set of boots at the scene this morning,” he said, the bright green light illuminating the dark interior.

“Same. It’s absolutely someone associated with that damn hospital-” you said, Dean’s arm shooting in front of you in your peripheral. A millisecond later, something slammed into the right side of Baby, your side. Your lap belt tugged on you hard as your body lolled to the side, weightless for a moment before gravity reared it’s ugly head and slammed you down. Your head smacked something hard and it all went dark.

You could hear Dean asking a paramedic a million questions, not a single one concerned about himself. You opened your eyes to find yourself in the back of an ambulance, Dean lying on a stretcher beside you. He could tell you were awake and struggled to reach over to you but couldn’t. Instead he thrashed his head back against his pillow in defeat, straining against the straps that held him down.

“Sir, I need you to calm down,” said the paramedic as you blinked slowly at Dean. You knew something was wrong with you, with both of you, but you weren’t quite sure what that was yet. You struggled when you saw Dean upset. You wanted him to feel better. “You need to relax, she’s seeing you panic and that’s making her do the same.”

Dean stopped as he took in how your heart rate had skyrocketed, how scared you looked. He sighed and forced himself to stay calm. You saw him relax and heard him say it was okay. Neither of you enjoyed the feeling of being tied down, especially when the both of you were in plain view of one another and couldn’t reach each other. You tried to speak but couldn’t as you felt how raw your throat was.

“We’ll be at Mercy West in just a few minutes,” said the paramedic to Dean as you half-listened.

“No, take us somewhere else!” yelled Dean suddenly, fighting again. The paramedic sighed as you both started struggling once more. You didn’t have much of an idea of what was going on but if Dean didn’t want to go there, it wasn’t safe.

“I’m going to give each of you a sedative and by the time you wake up, you’ll be in your hospital beds feeling a lot better,” he said gently.

“No, don’t you touch her,” said Dean as you started to get very sleepy. The last thing you saw was Dean shutting his eyes as you finally remembered what had happened.

If Sam didn’t get to you soon, you were screwed.

Your eyes wearily opened under bright lights that made your head hurt. You winced and turned away from it, limbs heavy and still. Dean’s voice echoed somewhere, to your left maybe? You forced your eyes open again, Dean strapped down to a metal table with metal drawers behind him, the look on his face like he was screaming at you. You blinked, the ringing in your eyes loud and obnoxious, droning him out.

“Get up, fucking get up!” Dean shouted so loud you shook your head, a splitting headache cracking over you. “Y/N get out of here!”

It took only a moment to discover that unlike Dean, you weren’t restrained in what was most likely the hospital morgue. Something was wrong though. A sedative? No. You were becoming more alert if anything but your arms were growing more tired, head becoming too heavy to lift.

“Something’s off,” you tried to say, the words caught in your throat, unable to be voiced. Your eyes flared wide, Dean’s drifting past you.

“Someone took a long time to wake up,” said a voice to your right. Suddenly a hand was under your head.

“Don’t you fucking touch her!” Dean snarled, your head set on a…stand? Something to keep it elevated and from rolling to the side. You tried to move but the message wasn’t getting to your body, your eyes glued on the handsome face with a just slightly off smile leaning over you.

“You were in a nasty accident, Agent Carlson. Unfortunately for you, your head trauma was too severe and you coded in the ER. Meanwhile Agent Manns in his grief unfortunately succumbed to his injuries. At least that’s what the autopsy report will say,” he said, inspecting what felt like a cut on your temple. “Such a shame. It won’t be my best work but you’re not the first law enforcement to cross me. Sadly no one will be able to discover your remains once you’re accidentally incinerated as John and Jane Doe but it’s good practice.”

“Let her go you fucking psycho,” growled Dean when the doctor moved out of view and returned with a pair of shears.

“Psycho? I’m Dr. Thomas, ER Trauma physician and part-time pathologist. I’ve saved far more lives than I’ve taken, Agent Manns,” he said, snipping through your blouse.

“What the fuck did you do to her?” Dr. Thomas bagged your shirt in a plastic bag nearby, doing the same with your pants and boots once they’d been removed.

“Paralyzing agent. Hard to come by but it has it’s advantages. No messy straps or ropes in the way,” he said, lifting your arm as you watched helplessly, cold metal against your skin as he cut through your bra straps.

“I swear to god I’m going to rip your spine out of your fucking face. If you touch her-”

“Not my style,” said Dr. Thomas, pulling away the fabric, sending a chill down your back. He gave you his focus again, a smirk on his face as he put two fingers to your neck. “Your heart is hammering away, isn’t it? Biology is fascinating that way. It’s so strange how an emotion such as fear can cause physical reactions in our bodies.”

“Get the fuck away from her!” shouted Dean. Dr. Thomas’ smile towards you dropped when he looked at Dean. He sighed and set the shears down, walking out of view.

“You’re really starting to irritate me,” he said, the distinct sound of tape being ripped from a roll filling the room and then Dean’s cries became muffled, only quiet thumping as he struggled coming from him now. Dr. Thomas appeared again wearing another smile. “Sorry about that. It’s always the men that get all squirmy. The women always live longer. Now, one could argue that’s because women have on average more blood in their bodies than men but I’ve gotten a fairly large sample size over the past decade to believe they’re psychologically stronger and therefore last longer.”

You tried hard to move your hand when he held up a scalpel near your face but nothing worked.

Fuck if you could move anything you’d be shaking harder than a tree in a damn hurricane. Dean struggling right beside you with a front row seat was not helping.

“Now I like to explain all of my procedures to my patients beforehand. While you are paralyzed to a degree, you will still feel things. That’s perfectly normal.” You were wide eyed, Dr. Thomas chuckling. “The procedure typically takes me around thirty minutes. However, you’ll die from the blood loss or shock after roughly seven so don’t worry about that aspect. Considering you were in an accident less than an hour ago, I suspect it’s more like four or five for you which is unfortunate for me but it is what it is. Perhaps Agent Manns will give me more time.”

He lowered the scalpel to your shoulder and dug in hard to the skin, dragging it inward towards your chest. Your scream was caught in your throat as he did it on the other side to match.

Dean was shouting and thrashing on the table beside you but you couldn’t even turn your head to look. Dr. Thomas started talking about incisions and procedures and then you felt something completely unnatural against your arm, another shout trapped in your lungs. Forget the brave face. You would have been full on wailing if you were capable of it.

Crack. Snap. Shudder. Rip. It was around the time that Dr. Thomas held up something dark red and sticky looking that your body decided passing out was the best course of action. Unfortunately, it wasn’t doing that for some reason and you were stuck on the edge of consciousness, terrified and wishing something would come along and smash your head in to end this.

A loud bang shot out and something heavy smacked your leg, something else skirting against your side.

“Dear god,” whispered Sam. Your eyes were locked open as you heard Sam rush over, staring down at you for only a split second before he moved to Dean.

That was not good. You were far more injured that Dean, somewhere on the verge of death if you figured. Sam would have stopped to help you first.

Unless you were beyond saving.

“Sweetheart,” said Dean, grabbing one of your blood covered hands in both of his. Fuck he was crying. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You were so totally fucked. He looked over to Sam, Sam staring back with an open mouth. They couldn’t fix this. Shit, shit. You were going to die cut open like a Thanksgiving turkey. “W-What about Cas?”

“Dean,” said Sam, an air of resignation in his voice. “He’s in Kansas.”

“Jack then.”

“He’s with Cas. He doesn’t know how to-”

“A spell, a cure, something! Take her upstairs to a fucking doctor!” shouted Dean.

“De. Half of her organs are…” said Sam as you got light headed, Dean’s hand running over your head. Dean found your face, his chin wobbling. “I-I don’t know what to do.”

“Then we sit with our girl,” said Dean softly, tucking a hair behind your ear. “And you fall asleep, sweetheart and when you wake up again, you’ll feel all better. I’ll come find you someday. Okay? Just close your eyes and try to sleep for me.”

Dean lowered his head, kissing your forehead as he fought back the tears that wanted to spill over. Sam took your other hand, squeezing it gently as you tried to do what he asked.

“Bloody hell, of course a Winchester took out a nutter like that. I’d have thunk he deserved more than a bullet,” said a familiar voice.

“Rowena?” both boys echoed. She didn’t respond though, Sam’s hand dropping yours as a flash of red hair moved in front of you. You stared up at her, her hands cradling your cheeks.

“Dean, let go.” He did and about two seconds later you were shot straight upright, body in one piece, full of feeling and horror as you wrapped your arms over your chest, looking all around.

“What the hell was that?” asked Sam while Dean shrugged out of his fed jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders, buttoning you up before he picked you up and was cradling you in his arms.

Rowena faced him with a hand on her hip, your own gaze falling down to where a dead Dr. Thomas lay on the floor, blood oozing from the back of his open head.

“Do you boys still not see me as a friend?” she asked, an undercurrent of hurt in her voice. You were shaking in Dean’s arms, clutching to his shirt with your too long sleeves.

“You’re the queen of hell. Why would you stop a death?” asked Sam. She rolled her eyes and approached you, resting a hand on your arm.

“Because I’m the queen of hell and I do as I please, Samuel.” You wanted to say thank you but all you could manage was a few jumbled words as you buried yourself in Dean’s neck. “She’s in shock, quite bad. Best to take her home and let her rest.”

“Thank you Rowena,” said Dean, walking past her, stopping near the entrance to the room. “Next time you need something, just let us know and we’ll help.”

“Of course. I’ll take care of this mess. Oh and Y/N, dear?” You managed to lift your head, grateful to find Sam was right on Dean’s heels. “This lad is going to be spending a lot of time on the receiving end of what he gave out up here down in hell. I promise you that.”

You nodded, giving her a thumbs up. Dean kissed the top of your head, his hold on you tight.

“You’re going to be alright, sweetheart. Just give it some time.”

“How’s that feel?” asked Dean for what felt like the twentieth time back at the motel. You’d showered, took another another shower, took a bath, took another shower and currently were wrapped up in a mess of Dean’s pajamas on the bed with a big towel in your hair.

“Better,” you said, your voice back with you once you’d gotten out of the hospital morgue. Sam was off relaying what he’d found to the local police. Apparently Dr. Thomas had worked on a few cases for the county but his sister it turned out was a hot shot detective who’d been covering for him for years. It was how he’d found out about you and Dean investigating.

Honestly that woman would be better off going out like her brother. She’d covered up a lot of murders for her brother. It’d be a miracle if someone didn’t take her out before then. Not that you particularly would mind that.

You patted the bed beside you, Dean taking a seat and pulling you into his lap. He removed the damp towel and nuzzled the top of your head with his cheek, strong arms wrapped all around your body.

“So we really nailed that whole careful thing, huh?” you said. Dean chuckled deeply, inhaling the scent of your damp hair, a pretty lilac and vanilla blend you knew he liked.

“How do you do that? Make me laugh when I don’t feel like ever laughing again,” he said, tightening his hold.

“Because I’m hilarious,” you said, closing your eyes, wrapping your hands around his forearms. “You might not understand this but what you said when I thought…you made me feel safe even when I was scared that was it. You were a guy protecting his girl tonight, even if it’s not the way you meant it.”

“Meant every word,” he whispered, breathing slowly.

“Don’t you dare fucking apologize for not stopping it. There’s no way we saw that coming.”

“Okay,” he said, draping his legs over yours, leaning back against the headboard with you. “How’s that feel? Comfy?”

You smiled as you rolled your eyes at him, tucking in closer. “I got you, Winchester. I’ll be alright. A chocolate milkshake and order of fries wouldn’t hurt though.”

“You’re hungry? After all that?” he chuckled.

“Yup. Ask Sam to pick some up on his way back,” you said, tilting your head back, kissing under his jaw. “Our date got cut short after all.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? You couldn’t talk earlier,” he said, taking your hand, lacing your fingers together.

“I’ll have nightmares, I’m sure, and all the other crap we get. But right now in this moment, with you, I’m okay.” He smiled, holding your body against his.

“I love you so much. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Even if you do get kidnapped by serial killers.” You whacked his leg, Dean’s laugh rumbling against your back.

“Love you too, ya dork.”

_________

#supernatural #spn #dean x reader #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fic #spn fanfic #dean spn #dean one shot #dean winchester one shot

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godihatethiswebsite · 1 day

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You know what? I blame @dragonnarrative-writes for all of this. It's all their fault for poking this part of my brain in the first place even though I was originally just trying to poke theirs ><

Mummy AU part three I guess?

There were only so many places you'd been allowed to go growing up even with a chaperone at your side. Mother brought you up the way any well respected young lady should be, and to be honest you felt much more at home in your skirts and dresses working on your drawings in the parlor than you did climbing over the fence in your backyard like your cousin convinced you to. But your father worried Kyle was improperly rubbing off on you and wanted to find you something to fill your head with where you could still be kept an eye on.

His solution: the Museum of Antiquities in Cairo.

After all, how much trouble could you get into reading about dead guys? At least they wouldn't be trying to chase your skirts as you got older.

Father owned his own shipping company that dealt with the transport of goods and wares, ancient artifacts included. He knew the people who were in charge of the facilities and thought this could be a replacement for the adventures your cousin liked to try to drag you on.

The beautifully painted sarcophagi drew in your imagination like a moth to a flame, chiseled sculptures and pillars depicting ancient beings far different than the god you'd been brought up believing in. And weren't you just the most well behaved little girl when your father brought you along on his business trips. All he had to do was put a book in your hand about the Old Kingdom and you'd stay seated right where he left you until it was time to leave. The drawings in your room turned less from pretty landscapes and fresh vases to imitations of the reliefs you'd seen from photographs of burial chamber walls. Your mother was slightly alarmed at first, but once she saw you still happily keeping up with your piano lessons and needlework she quickly gave in.

Once you were old enough to walk around the city by yourself, you stopped by the museum at least once a week just to spend hours wandering the halls - sometimes more if you noticed a new shipment of wares showing up on your father's ledgers that week slated for delivery. Always so eager to witness the unveiling of new items even if they'd never get put on display. One of the perks of growing up around the loading docks and being a sweet well mannered child to the workers.

You didn't work at the museum with Dr. John Price, but you'd frequented there an awful lot to have come to decent terms with the man. Always gruff, a bit rough around the edges, but boy did he have a mind for antiquities.

He wasn't always the easiest man to deal with; someone who didn't have time for the stupidity that came with being around the uneducated masses during business hours. He'd been working there in some capacity or another since you'd first became a patron, though back in those days he'd been a lot less rigid.

At one point you'd been barred from looking at a book that your father deemed had too much suggestive material in it - it was a tome about Tawaret, goddess of childbirth and fertility - and sent over to your favorite reading chair with something about Pepi II instead. Try as you might you couldn't get into it, mind still lingering on the forbidden subject which was just the latest in your stream of mythology research. You'd been half-heartedly flipping through the pages when a shadow passed you by and casually deposited the desired reading material in your lap, not even bothering to glance your way as he kept moving and turned down another aisle. He was clean shaven back then, but he'd made an impression as a kindred spirit willing to look the other way.

Now almost twenty years later you did your best to stay out of his way and disturb him as little as possible, but every so often you'd be fortunate enough to stumble upon him on a good day where he'd indulge you on certain topics of conversation that flowed smoothly, allowing you to see the lingering passionate twinkle of a younger man hiding behind eyes so full of wisdom and tired experience.

(And if you happened by chance to occassionally pass by a tall, large, tank of a dark robed man waiting patiently for his turn to have an audience with Price on your way out of his office - following you with his deep brown eyes and a cloth cover shrouding the lower half of his face from view - you kept your gaze to the floor and gave him a wide respectful berth, only risking a glance back at the individual long enough to see the broad planes of his back disappearing behind Price's door with a click of the lock)

#soap x reader #mummy au #cod #call of duty #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #john price #john soap mactavish #dragon pulled a reverse uno on me #I'm just a lurker what's happening to me

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circusinthewalls · 3 days

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☆ Viburnums - Chapter 1: The Fucking Sun ☆

Thank the heavens for holiday leave. You weren't sure how much longer you could stand the bitter cold that seeped through the barracks windows back on base. At least here at home, even if it wasn't much better insulation wise, you weren't tossing and turning all night from the chill. Not that you could really move much to begin with, sandwiched between Johnny and Simon like this. Although, come to think of it, you're all pretty pent up, so maybe it isn't so bad after all. Granted you can balance getting your last minute Christmas shopping done with getting your back blown out, of course.

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Tags: Soft Simon "Ghost" Riley, Top Simon "Ghost" Riley, Soft John "Soap" MacTavish, Top John "Soap" MacTavish, They're both fairly possessive of you tbh, AFAB Reader, Gender Neutral Terms, this is really self indulgent tbh, Christmas, Boxing Day, Established Polyam Relationship, Porn With Plot, I know it's May leave me alone, The holidays are nice, I imagined reader as transmasc when writing this, but anyone can read tbh, I got like two hours of sleep help, Proship DNI, MDNI, flip flopping povs like hotcakes baby i do what i want

a/n: Hello!! This will have a few more chapters, so some of the tags will be relevant within the next chapter. Will hopefully have that out in a couple days. Enjoy! o7 [ao3 link] [Chapter 2 (TBA)]

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Simon awakes first. Much to his surprise, actually. Typically you're the one that rises at dawn with him following close behind. He doesn't blame you, though. The trip home, what with all the holiday crowding in the airport and the traffic after, took a lot out of all of you. By some miracle you'd managed to hold it together enough for the three of you combined, but he could tell it'd left you exhausted. He rolls over, inching himself closer as he drapes his tattooed arm over your midsection, brushing against Johnny's hand that rests down by your hip. Briefly, he watches to see if the other man will stir. Then his gaze flickers to you. Neither of you even shift. Wrecked clearly. Suddenly finding himself a little more content with the idea of simply going back to sleep, he sidles up against you proper, nuzzling between your shoulder blades and using your warmth to lull him into drifting off again.

Later in the morning it's you that first withdraws from slumber, albeit slowly. You suck in a breath and stretch out your legs, yet in doing so you come to realize that someone's thigh is wedged firmly between them.You crack an eye open to investigate, only to wince when met with the sliver of hazy sunlight that's peeking in through the space between the curtains. You relent and decide to put off the task for later. It's not like you've ever minded being tangled up with the boys, anyway. Whoever's thigh it is can stay there. Isn't half bad in that spot, actually. ... Jesus, how long has it been since the three of you had simply had some time together that you're genuinely starting to get worked up just from this? Wracking your memories only turns up mission after mission with training filling in the gaps apart from a fleeting tryst in the locker room. One that'd gotten cut short when Price nearly walked in on the three of you, calling through the door that he needed Johnny for a moment. Speaking of the Scotsman, you can feel him move beside you. Probably startled awake by the way you jerked when the morning rays attacked you seconds prior. His fingers curl in, hand lazily feeling over your waist as he wakes up, trying to regain sense of his surroundings and figure out why it's so fuckin' hot in here. You tentatively open your eyes again just as he's turning away from you a bit, body twisting sideways enough to make his meaty thigh press harder against your clothed sex. Maybe it'd be more bearable if you'd had either him or Simon in you at all in the last month. When you make a small noise at the feeling, Johnny finally seems to remember you exist. Blinking the last ties of sleep away, he turns his attention over to you. "We're outta milk," he mutters.

What?? "Just remembered." You squint at him, an emotion akin to befuddlement written across your face. Of course, kudos to the man for having his priorities straight. You did need milk and.. Well, the whole lot of other standard groceries to be honest. Such is life coming back home every odd couple of months or so. Still, a, 'Good mornin' lovie,' would've been nice to hear first.

"Simonnn," you groan, quickly and haphazardly disentangling yourself from Johnny to roll over and face your other partner instead. "Your boyfriend is being fucking weird again." All the sudden flopping around is enough to rather abruptly rouse him, earning a gruff sound in response. He rubs at his eyes, trying his hardest to listen to whatever the hell it is you're saying so soon after waking him up. Laying damn near completely on top of him while doing so, at that. Truth be told he missed most of it, but he did make out something about Johnny being his boyfriend. At least he's pretty sure he did. "Yeah?" he hesitantly agrees, voice still thick with grogginess. "Was yours, too, last I checked?" Johnny isn't paying you two much mind. He has other plans and fully intends to see them through, so while you're preoccupied whining to Simon he slips out of bed unnoticed. Only when he's leaning over, fully dressed and ready to brace the snowy weather outside, planting goodbye kisses atop each of your heads do you pick up on the absence of his warmth beside you. You sit up, almost trying to chase him for another kiss, equally surprised and curious about his unanticipated departure. "Goin' to the market," he answers before you can even ask. "Ye ken I won't be long." As you two watch him exit the flat, Simon pulls you back down into his arms. He's not particularly excited about seeing Johnny go either, but he knows he'll be back within the hour and certainly won't object to having you to himself until then.

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zukosdualdao · 2 days

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watching zuko berate iroh in jail is honestly one of the hardest scenes in the show for me to watch (i literally had to pause and take a breath lmao, it’s just. it’s a lot.) but it’s legitimately so fascinating because zuko is doing so much projection here. which is what people very often are doing when they lash out in this way.

like, part of it is obvious. zuko blames iroh for his imprisonment, insisting they could have returned home together—echoing azula’s insistence that it was really iroh who betrayed him in tcod—if iroh had just sided with them. and when iroh says nothing, zuko insists iroh has no right to judge him. but again: iroh has said and done… literally nothing. sure, you could argue that zuko’s reading iroh silence and turning away as judgment (which, i think it’s more complicated than that. he’s very hurt and very sad, and he also doesn’t know what else he could possibly do or say when he’s tried everything to help zuko and ended up in a prison cell, so why should he think zuko will listen to him at this point?) but he came into this one-sided conversation already defensive.

zuko doesn’t feel judged because of anything iroh’s doing, despite what he says; he feels judged because he feels guilty, because he has an actual conscience, and as much as he wants to ignore it, he can’t, not entirely. but he also can’t admit to feeling guilt without admitting that the choice he made in ba sing se was wrong. and he’s not ready to admit that for a number of reasons, partially because i’m not even sure he knows that’s what he’s feeling, partially because he’s not yet ready to take moral accountability—but also, partially because at this point, admitting that is dangerous, because now he’s back with his abuser, who would take such guilt as both treason and personal offense. even if no one else was around to hear it, zuko certainly wouldn’t feel safe expressing that.

which leads to the other bit of projection i think is a lot subtler. it’s honestly not something i clocked until this rewatch, as before, zuko shouting that iroh was a “crazy old man” just seemed like something zuko was mimicking from ozai and azula, who absolutely do talk about iroh like he’s crazy, and i do still think that’s part of it.

but, idk, maybe it was less intentional on the part of the writers, but when zuko shouts that iroh’s crazy… i mean, i can’t help but think of how he’s actively being told his feelings and fears are irrational and being gaslit since he got back to the fire nation. i think it’s fair to say he feels a bit “crazy” because that’s what people who gaslight you are trying to accomplish (and we’ll see zuko admit to how confused he’s feeling in both the beach and the avatar the firelord.) that’s a scary, out-of-control thing to be feeling, so it’s not surprising that it’s another thing he tries to turn back on iroh in order to gain back some semblance of control. (it Does Not work.)

#abuse //#the headband #zuko #iroh & zuko #iroh #the thing is though that is frustrating as it is. the audience is /supposed/ to be mad at zuko here #the narrative treats the way he’s acting like it’s wrong because it is #and zuko’s guilt about iroh in the second half of book three is about the eay he acts here just as much as his betrayal i think #like. it’s hard to watch but it does really pay off

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