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ficjoelispunk · 6 months

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Ch 07 - Read the fucking papers

Continuation, you can find it here

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Author's Note: Guys, I'm sorry for any grammatical errors, don't give up on me, translating is not easy, but I did my best. Correct me as much as you can. Thanks.

Murphy showed up at the ambulance door.

"Is she okay?" The worried tone.

Javier looked at you, peacefully sleeping.

"Physically yes, mentally I don't know..."

"I'm going to Bogotá, you stay here with her..." Murphy spoke studying Javier. He didn’t take his eyes off you.

"Have they called his wife yet?" Javier was talking about Carrillo.

"Yes, she will come from Madrid" Murphy sighed "It's not your fault Javi, it's Escobar's, and somehow he'll pay."

"Like all of us. Right?" Javier murmured.

"We have to take her to the hospital, she will need serum for hydration and observation if she is at a high level of malnutrition," the rescuer said.

Javier looked at Murphy.

"Go."

Peña nodded.

You slept all night, and almost the next day, Under the effects of the tranquilizer. Some agents went to the hospital to collect your testimony, but Javier informed that as soon as you were discharged this would be the first thing you would do. He knew it wouldn't be. But he just wanted to ward off anything that could take away your peace.

The tests were ready, and the medical report was positive, for the number of days you were in captivity, and for the perspective of what could have happened to you. Having some abrasions and bruises was a sign of victory.

Javier sat next to your bed all the time, leaving only when Murphy went to the hospital with Messina and Crosby, who flew from Bogotá to Medellin as soon as he could to follow his testimony.

"She hasn't woken up yet, but the doctors have informed that she is fine, and as soon as she wakes up and recovers she may be discharged"

Crosby put one hand on Peña's shoulder and the other on Murphy's shoulder.

"You guys did a great job here. I'm sorry for the loss of Colonel and friend Carrillo"

They both nodded.

Crosby and talked something to Steve.

"I can stay with her in case you need to go home..." Messina was helpful.

"I'm fine."

She nodded.

"That's not your fault Peña" Messina tried to comfort him.

"No?"

"No."

"I was deceived."

"We all went," she sighed, "we had information confirmed by Centra Spike"

"Stop" Javier ran his hand over his face. "Just..." he shook his head "you come here, and say all the right things, but it doesn't make a shred of difference, Carrillo is dead. She's in a hospital bed."

Messina is silent for a while.

"Colonel Carrillo's funeral is tomorrow..."

"I'm not going to funerals"

Messina withdrew towards the Ambassador.

Murphy approached and patted Javier on the shoulder.

Javier wouldn't leave your side. He couldn't explain it. Even when he was very involved in a relationship in the past, to the point of thinking about committing himself to God and men - from which he fled - but without ceasing to have had the intention, he never felt the way he was feeling now.

A kiss. And one night in the file room, that's what sentenced the penalty he already knew he would carry for you. The 3 years acting as a dog and cat, it was just a mask that he accepted to wear with the sole purpose of having you close to him.

Knowing that you would not submit to something that was really not serious, and knowing the gossip that built his fame as a womanizer, he would have no chance with you. The provocations were the closest he had to keep something other than the professional with you.

But he does not deny that sometimes his stubbornness, seriousness and intelligence have left him on the verge of nerve collapse. And it was hard to focus on something when all his mind wanted was to lay your body on your perfectly organized table and senselessly sink his cock into you until you forgot who it was.

But he also noticed the way you breathed near him. The way you looked at him. How your body stiffened and you became tense when it was too close. Your body language said one thing, and your mouth said another. He just needed to be patient because he knew you would be his.

And he had a lot of patience. You were a beautiful, sophisticated, educated, intelligent and very well-connected and articulate woman. It took at least a third of what you were to occupy the position you occupied, and you were far beyond that. He didn't understand why you agreed to get into this end of the world, when you could quietly coordinate an entire sector in Washington.

All his attributes were perfectly remarkable. And he had to hold back many times so as not to assault the men who made comments about you. Because you were secretly his property. And he would never let any other man approach.

After your coming from Bogotá, with the department to Medellin, work in the same square meter as him. Smell your lavender body moisturizer every damn morning. Bumping into you in the corridors, and working being able to rest him eyes on you, could only have an end. Or you would end up hating each other forever. Either you would sooner or later give in to the visceral desire you felt for each other.

And that's what happened. But now, it seemed that somehow, life wanted to punish Javier. He knew that if it wasn't for him, they probably wouldn't have taken you. They took you because someone somewhere noticed, and knew that you were a means of access to him.

And to see you there, lying in that hospital bed, knowing that you went through a hell on earth, and finally you still saw the demon. It made him think of only two things. Or he would have to protect you, and be ready for everything that involved it. Or he would have to push you away.

"Hey" your hoarse and low voice, your trembling hands reaching the face of Javier who was sitting next to you with his elbows on his knees.

Javier turned to you.

"Hey" he got up, holding your hand, those big, expressive and brown eyes dancing over the expansion of your face.

You smiled at him, unable to prevent the smile from forming on your face.

"How are you feeling" he sat on the edge of the bed next to your body.

"I’m fine" your mouth was dry "how long did I sleep?"

"Not much... I'm going to call a nurse..."

You held his hand. Javier noticed the fear in your eyes, sat next to you again.

"Cariño" he passed his free hand over your hair, you closed your eyes, going down to your cheek to hold your face "it's okay, I'm here, nothing will happen to you"

Javier's voice could be your favorite sound. He would get anything from you. What could be a serious problem. You don't remember the exact moment your body succumbed to him.

He didn't have to leave. The nurse entered the room anyway. Instinctively you shook Javier's hand.

Javier understood there that you would take longer than he thought to recover, and had a partial dimension of the size of the trauma you had acquired with this experience.

"Hello, I'm Carlita, I just came to check on you"

You nodded.

"How are you feeling? Any pain?"

You took a while to evaluate yourself.

"I'm fine, actually..." you hesitated "without pain"

The nurse moved the sheet, and did some activities with your legs, which radiate a pain in your abdomen making you frown.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

You nodded.

"Mhm, it's just..."

Javier stood by your side, without letting go of your hand, studying your body with his eyes.

"What is it?" He asked the nurse.

"No, I'm fine..."

"Okay" the nurse stretched your legs, and rested her hand on her arm gently "She fractured a rib, you need to be careful when moving, since there is no way we can immobilize," she said to Javier.

You stiffened.

Javier got serious by your side, his lips in a thin line. The nurse checked the medication. And your accesses.

"Now that she has woken up, soon the doctor will come for the last evaluations," she told Javier.

"Thank you"

The nurse left the room, and you were silent.

Javier sat on the chair again, still without letting go of your hand. But he lowered his head while his fingers massaged his forehead.

"Sorry..." you murmured.

Javier looked at you.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that... I didn't know they were following me, I didn't realize. This must have hindered the entire progress of the operation, someone was responsible for..."

"Stopped" Javier turned to face you "did you disappear for 9 days and are you worried about your work?"

Your eyes deviated from his a few times thinking.

"I can't believe it..." he sighed smiling ironically "Fuck the operation, if Escobar appeared in front of me, I wouldn't give a damn, I would keep looking for you"

"Javi..."

He shook his head, got up leaning over to kiss your hand. Your breathing failed.

"Never apologize for something like that again. Did you hear?"

You nodded to him blinking nonsense. There were no records in your memory of someone taking care of you that way.

Later the doctor came, did some routine evaluations, and discharged you.

Murphy had brought you some clothes he had at Connie's house. And personally you felt very grateful for their care of you.

Javier was driving the Jeep taking turns looking at your face, analyzing you whenever possible. A hand resting on your leg.

When they were close to the base, he broke the silence.

"Listen..."

You turned your head to look at him.

"Possibly they'll want to collect your testimony and all this shit you already know, but if you don't feel well, or if you don't want to do that, I can talk to Messin..."

"It's okay" you didn't let him finish "It's okay, I'm fine. I already imagined, I'm prepared for that."

Javier studied your face through his sunglasses, and nodded.

"Thank you..." you stroked his hand, "for all this..."

He held your hand, and brought it to his lips to kiss her.

You made your way back in silence.

Javier listened to you. But he felt that as you approached the Academy, you were stiffening, changing, maybe trying to wear a mask so as not to demonstrate the vulnerability you had. Do not show weakness.

Crosby welcomed you with a handshake.

"It's great to have you back."

"It's great to be back"

"How are you feeling?" Crosby put his hands on your back, walking next to you.

Javier saw you shrink to the touch, uncomfortable, and closed his eyes wanting to get in the middle of the two of you, to keep Crosby away from you.

"I'm fine, actually"

"I know this may not be the time, but we need a testimony, if you don't mind..."

"Yes, it's better while everything is fresh"

Javier was behind you, observing the way your posture had totally changed. You were someone imposing now, even so small.

If he hadn't seen you without the armor you wore. He would think that everything that happened was nothing to you. But he knew you were just pretending.

Javier stood on the other side of the glass in the testimony room, along with Steve and Messina, Trujillo had already returned, and with you inside the room was an agent and the Ambassador.

You sat behind the table, facing the agent, and your boss. Javier could feel his tension miles away.

Javier also noticed your discomfort when trying to cross your leg. He knew you was in pain. He sighed. You didn't need to go through this now.

"So, I need you to tell me everything you think is important and remember," Crosby began.

"Of course"

"How did they approach you?" The agent started.

Javier had his arms crossed in front of his body, serving as support for the arm that carried his hand to his face with his fingers over his mustache. Concentrated and attentive.

"I left the base at 6:50/7 a.m to buy some personal hygiene items at the pharmacy five blocks from here, when I got out of the car, a black vehicle closed the passage on the street, two armed men came down and immobilized me, putting a cloth bag on my head"

"Would you recognize the men?"

"I could try"

"Would you know how to tell if they moved you from place?"

"Yes, every two days they moved me"

"How was it there? What did you hear? Names. Descriptions. Everything you can say"

You cleared your throat.

It would be difficult to go over everything. A trauma is the first thing the brain tries to erase. It's about defense.

Javier noticed your discomfort. Murphy looked at his partner.

"If it's something difficult we can try another way..." the agent said in a tone of sarcasm.

"I'm fine, you do it all the time, don't you?"

The agent looked at Crosby. Crosby shrugged.

Javier closed his eyes, lowering his head. He knew that shouldn't be happening. You just wanted to prove a point to people. Prove that you were competent even when you were a victim.

"I didn't understand everything very well. At times they didn't speak Spanish and I have difficulty understanding Castilian. But, I went through laboratories, somewhere they carried out the accounting, and at points of distribution of money and drugs"

"This was where you were for the last one"

"Yeah."

"Do you remember names?"

"Yes" you named at least about 20 people.

Javier, Murphy and Messina exchanged looks amazed at their memory.

"How do you remember the names of all these people?"

"I had a lot of free time"

"Would you know how to say what each one was responsible for?"

"Yes" you said the names of some sicaários, and distributors, but you failed to mention the names of three people.

"What about the three missing names?"

You swallowed it dry. And you looked down.

Murphy and Peña exchanged glances behind the glass that separated you.

Javier put his hands on his waist.

"They..." you hesitated "they are part of another Cartel I think..."

"Right, but what were they doing there?"

You looked at the ceiling, at the walls of the room.

"They were at the place they used for accounting, and went to get money I think, but they drank and used coke, and..."

You shook your head.

Javier approached the glass and leaned on the space of the wall.

"And?" The agent pressed it.

You swallowed it dry again. Your eyes danced between the agent and the Ambassador.

"They came to me" you were looking at the table.

"For what?"

You tilted your head to the side and let out the air through your nose.

"What do you think?" You counterattacked.

Javier shook his head watching. At least you were sharp.

"I'll go there" Javier turned towards the door.

"No!" Messina threatened.

"She is the victim, is this a testimony or an interrogation?"

"You can't interfere"

Javier snorted, his hands on his waist, shaking his head.

"She's smart, she knows how to turn around"

"This is insane" he said between thententes.

The agent moved in the chair in front of you.

"I don't think anything." He answered.

You smiled ironically.

"They wanted to abuse me"

"How?"

"Seriously?"

The agent stood still looking at you.

You blinked a few times.

"Sexually" you murmured, your voice spoke.

"Did they make it?"

"No"

"How?”

"I fought"

"How?"

"I wasn't tied up, until that moment I didn't pose any risk"

"And what did they do?"

You shook your head looking away in disbelief.

"I thought that this kind of detail I would give only if I were to represent a complaint, and had to do a body and crime examination. Do you have any experience in dealing with women who are victims of abuse?"

"I’m the one who asks the questions here."

"Okay, congratulations. You’re doing a great job."

"You didn't answer my question"

"And I'm not even going, I've already done my body and crime exam if you want to know the details then read the fucking papers"

Crosby advanced towards the table and put his hand on the agent's shoulder.

"Sorry," you said looking at the Ambassador.

"Let's skip this part," Crosby told the agent.

Messina and Murphy exchanged glances. Javier was almost climbing the walls.

"Jesus" Javier spoke in the midst of sighs shaking his head.

"Okay, then, after the unsuccessful attempt, what happened?" The agent continued.

You sighed.

"They hit me"

"Didn't you get scared?"

"Of course I was scared"

"And yet he challenged them"

You uncrossed your leg, and leaned towards the agent, on the table.

"I'd rather be dead than let them rape me" your tone was dark.

Javier shook his head on the other side of the glass. While hiding his face behind his hand, leaning on his crossed arm.

The agent was visibly embarrassed.

"So they assaulted you"

"Yes"

"What then?"

"They asked for information about the operations"

Everyone stood still. Looking at you, who slowly settled down on the chair, and crossed your leg again.

"And did you say something?" Crosby asked.

Javier rolled his eyes. Thanking that no one could see him behind the glass, because he would certainly be removed.

"No, sir"

"They insisted to what extent?" The agent asked.

"I think my cracked rib answers your question"

"Actually, no, it doesn't answer"

You were angry. Cracking the jaw. At that point the idiocy of this agent had already pissed you off. You've already passed the limit of shame, of pity for yourself, and now it was just anger.

"Okay. When they couldn't rape me, and couldn't kill me, by order of someone above them, then they began to ask about the operations, such as interceptions information, names of informants... and as I didn't answer any of the questions" flashbacks passed through his head, "so they tied me up, and began to hit me, on the face, on the belly, on the back, on the arms, on the legs, with punches, kicks, straps, and sometimes depending on how I responded to the provocations with the weapons. When they realized that I wouldn't speak at all. They started torturing me in other ways. They left me in the same place where I did my needs, without me actually being able to move to take off my clothes. After that they would send me food with potatoes, rats, flies or larvae, it depended on their mood. And if there was nothing visible, they would urinate on my food before giving it to me, do you want me to explain how I found out about it? I don’t think you need it, right? The only thing I really had access to was water. And they spit inside the glass."

There was a silence in the room.

Your breathing became a little irregular.

Messina had her hand in her mouth, trying to hide the horror.

Murphy looked at and analyzed Javier, while he was taken by a hatred of knowing how you spent your last weeks being strong and courageous.

Javier couldn't hear more of that. He looked in a straight direction paralyzed, but couldn't see anything. It was pure hate. And thirst for revenge.

"Did I be clear?" Your voice came out cracked.

Your eyes were teary, you tried hard so that no tears would fall.

The agent raised his eyebrows while fixing the papers.

"I think we're done"

"Great!"

You got up.

Crosby too.

Javier was already ready to go around the room, with the door open.

"I suggest you take this week off," Crosby told you.

"No." You answered faster than usual.

Crosby was going to start an argument, but you raised your hand to him.

"If I may, sir..."

Crosby nodded, letting you talk.

"I came to this country, to serve my country in the fight against drug trafficking, and I did just that for three years, if now after all, I can't work, then I can't find any reason to stay here. If by any chance you believe that I am not in sufficient conditions to perform my function, then I prefer to go home"

Javier is shocked by the chance of you really leaving. Like this. Suggesting that. Without even blinking.

Crosby looks between you and the agent. Itches your forehead.

"I would never think you can't afford work. You're the best we could have."

"Thank you, sir"

"You'll be back tomorrow."

"Thank you, sir"

Javier runs to the door, waiting for someone inside to open it, so that he can finally enter.

Crosby opens the door.

"Agent Peña"

He nods.

"Ambassador"

When the agent goes past Peña, he stares at him running his eyes from the feet to the agent's head, and cruelly bumps his shoulder into the agent's chest, who does not question, and only follows the Ambassador.

You had your hands resting on the table, with your head down.

Peña is approaching. Not knowing how to approach you after that.

Messina and Murphy on the other side of the glass look at each other.

"We should go" Messina suggests leaving the room, and Murphy follows her.

Javier is behind you, he puts his hands in your arms, stroking up and down.

"Hey, baby"

You straighten your posture, and clear your throat.

"Are you okay?"

You look at him over your shoulder.

"Yes"

He approaches you, and puts a kiss on your temple.

You close your eyes, and reach for his hands, with yours.

"Can I take you home?"

You force a smile.

"Please."

Javier turns your body to him, pulling you for a hug, you sink your head into his tits, squeezing his waist against your body, wanting to get inside him and hide.

"C’mon, cariño"

#pedro pascal #javier pena x y/n #javier pena fluff #javier pena x you #javier pena x reader #javier pena smut #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena imagine #javier pena fic #javier pena narcos #javier peña #narcos #narcos fanfiction

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cosmicswritings · 1 year

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megatron is the type to go all out during interface if starscream gives him permission, which he does. starscream actually just begs for it. but megatron is clearly nervous because of the obvious size difference, but because starscream believes he himself is built different he just tells megatron not to hold back. so it's like the morning after megatron is all like 'are you okay? do you feel good- you arent sore are you?'

and starscream's like 'no, im ready for the next round already'

and the moment megatron leaves the bedroom starscream has to army crawl like he cannot walk, his back is thrown out, his legs are wobbling, he feels like there is a hole down there.

and it's not just megatron's fault starscream will ride megatron's spike into sunrise completely ignoring his own internal warning systems.

idk bumblebee has to carry him and that barely works he just uses him and windblade as little living crutches.

starscream pays tailgate to tackle him or something so when megatron asks why he's limping he's like 'tailgate was playing and quite literally rammed into my back!'

#megastar #megatron #starscream #the amount of lostlight/mtmte megastar aus that run in my head rent free #whenever the lost light comes to iacon to refuel or starscream and his people get stuck on the ship it's wild

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stargazer-dreamer · 1 year

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In Comfort; Let Me Rest My Eyes Closed

character: spike spiegel

reader: gender neutral

content warnings: angst

notes: also on ao3. 500+ word count. angst/comfort. some fluff.

Take a shower with him. Wash his back. Take the bottle of shampoo from his hands and apply them to yours; run your fingers through his hair and gently scratch at his scalp. Watch as he closes his eyes. Watch how the stress leaves his body in waves and his muscles relax. He’ll lean into your touch, unconsciously, as a little smile spreads across his lips; content with the perfect combination of your hands on him and the warm water raining down around him.

Take the shower head and wash the suds away. Let the water dance around him, kiss his forehead and tell him you love him, you love him, you love him so. Watch how he ducks his head and scratch at his cheek. He’ll lower his voice—as if there was anyone around to hear. Almost drowned out by the shower, he’d mumble, “I love you, too.”

It’ll be quiet, and private, and wrapped up in an uncharacteristic timorous display, but it’d be true. Bird wings fluttering like the beat of his heart, he loves you. Everything you do for him, mean to him, do to him.

Regardless, despite everything, it repeated like a mantra in the back of his mind: he doesn’t deserve you. This simple kindness, your undivided attention, it was all too much. Almost. No, deep inside, he’s beyond happy you chose him. Out of everyone in the solar system, anyone at all, you were there kissing praises against his skin and devotion into his marrow.

He doesn’t think he deserves you. Stubborn to a fault, he denies himself the good things in life; simple or grandiose, the sky on the horizon line. Lost and pathetic stray he was, straight out of the gutters, he doesn’t think he deserves you. Built from nothing but blood and grime, he tells himself—he’s destined to fall, and fall, and fall; clipped wings, down to the lowest layer of the wastes.

And fell he did. His heart beating through his chest, he looked at you. You, who cupped his face so softly, feather-light, he thought he could break. And he was. Cracking at the seams, fat tears welled up in his eyes, mixing with the shower as they rolled down his cheeks; he cried.

He cried and you held him. He cried and you didn’t think any less of him. Falling to his knees in the tub, you went down with him—arms surrounding him with his face tucked into the crook of your neck. There was no one around to see, no one but you to witness this moment of rare vulnerability, but you didn’t want to take any chances.

Let him know he’s safe with you. Let him take his time. He loves you, and he loves you, and he loves you so. He deserves nice things. Happiness, and love, and companionship. You. Tell him this but understand, more than anything, that he needs time. Let him know you’ll always be there. Understand why he holds you ever closer at this. Swimming in his cycle, hold him tight; tight enough to let him know that he’s falling in the opposite direction—towards the sky, that horizon that pulled itself nearer by the day.

Reach for him. He’s already roosted a nest inside your heart. Reach for him. When dawn breaks, you’ll see him reaching back for you.

#spike spiegel #spike spiegel x reader #spike spiegel imagine #spike spiegel imagines #cowboy bebop #cowboy bebop imagine #cowboy bebop imagines #spike spiegel x you #spike spiegel x y/n #cowboy bebop fic #cowboy bebop fanfic #cowboy bebop fanfiction #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #personal favorites

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slytherinshua · 6 months

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AIRBAG CANT SAVE US

genre. angst. breakup. warnings. some language. fighting. crying. mention of drinking. angst. hwiyoung is kind of a jerk in this, reminder that this is just fiction-- it's not meant to accurately represent the real idols. pairing. hwiyoung x reader. wc. 1.1k. request. no. a/n. based off of drive5 if it wasn't already obvious... uhh sry in advance for this????? i promise i love hwiyoung idk why i wrote this lmfao

“You’ve changed, Youngkyun.” You mutter tensely. Youngkyun always has the aircon set 2 degrees too cold in his car, and a shiver runs up your spine. You always hated the cold, yet despite that, you had stupidly fallen for him. He’s like a block of ice, yet no matter how much you tried to melt him with your warm heart, he stayed chilly.

Youngkyun grips the steering wheel a bit tighter, flipping on the left turning signal and turning onto the highway. His foot pushes on the gas slightly as he matches the speed of the other cars on the highway. He still doesn’t respond to you.

You let out a shaky sigh and look out your window, “Did you ever love me? Why did you ask me out a year ago if you never intended on paying attention to me in the first place?” You wait for a second, wondering if that would get him to utter even a word in reply— even just a hum that he had heard you.

But, no. He’s always the same. Stuck up in his own world, self-obsessed and unfeeling. You wonder how his friends even put up with him? It’s as if he had no thoughts or feelings. Even when you tried to discuss something that directly affected him, he didn’t even care enough to listen.

“I don’t even know why I agreed to date you. You’re such an asshole.” You tell him through gritted teeth, a bit louder this time. “I hope whatever poor girl you ‘fall for’ next drops your ass before you have the chance to brutally misuse her like you did with me.”

Again, he stays silent, spiking your nerves just a bit above the limit. Your eyes sting with tears but you blink them back. You won’t cry because of him. He doesn’t even deserve that much. You hear him take a breath, and you turn to look at him, wondering if he’ll finally say something back to you.

“If you had so many problems with me, then why did you decide to date me?”

You hate that response. You hate how calm he is when you’re about to reach your breaking point. You hate that he doesn’t have the decency to at least apologise to you before he spews more of his nonsense. It’s like a stab straight through your chest. If he had ever loved you, even for a second, he would at least apologise for upsetting you before interrogating you.

“Oh, so it’s my fault, is it?” You let out a laugh, and it’s filled with disbelief at his actions. “It’s my fault? I was holding our relationship together for months while you went out drinking and paid no attention to me! I always held out hope that one day you would treat me the same as when we first met. But since January I’ve never seen even a speck of feeling in your eyes. Is it amusing to see me try so hard!? Do you find joy in my struggles to get this relationship to work— only to inevitably fail cause it will never work out with just one of us trying?” You spew, letting all your built up frustration flow out, hitting him like bullets. You were sure he had already built a repelling force field around himself to block you out; one that would only make the bullets bounce back to hit you.

“You wasted your time trying to get it to work.” He whispers.

“I wanna get off.” You breathe out, feeling like the doors of the car were slowly closing in on you. It was suffocating being in the same cramped space with Youngkyun, where everything just brought up old memories.

The necklace that you had gifted to him was still hanging from the rearview mirror. He had never worn it. You realize in an instant that him hanging it there wasn’t a compliment to you. He never wanted it in the first place.

“We’re on the fucking highway, Y/n.” He points out, as if you weren’t capable of noticing that before.

“Just pull over and let me out here. I’ll get a fucking taxi.” You spit back angrily.

“Shit, you’re so impatient. You can wait 5 minutes for me to reach this exit.” He says angrily, somehow pushing your anger up even more. You let the first tears slip down your cheeks. You hate being around him in this way. You feel like he’s slowly ripping you to shreds— limb by limb, leaving you broken beyond repair.

You do your best to stay silent and not let your muffled crying reach Youngkyun’s ears. It would be too humiliating for you to bear. The 5 minutes it takes to reach the exit feels like 5 hours. Youngkyun pulls over to the side of the road, stepping on the break harshly. You jerk forward slightly, and wonder if he’s doing it on purpose. You open your car door in a rush, trying to get out as soon as possible, but you feel him grip your wrist. You turn back around and stare at him, eyes burning to take in his features one last time.

“I’m not the only one who changed.” He says slowly before letting go of your hand. The blaring honks of cars behind you is almost deafening, some of them trying to find a way to get past Youngkyun’s black car blocking the road without causing an accident. You get out of the car and slam the door shut without another word to him.

It takes a second to register your reality. You stand still on the sidewalk for a few minutes, breathing in the crisp cold night air and letting the tears fall freely. You don’t know how far away from home you are, but you know that you’re not in any hurry to get back. You just soak in the moment. You were done with him— finally, you were free from him. You wanted to laugh, but it just came out as harsher sobs.

If he hadn’t changed, would it have worked out?

If you hadn’t changed, would it have worked out?

You stare up at the sky, sniffing your last tears away. It’s dark and a mesmerising blue; it’s beautiful. You wonder if Youngkyun was also looking at the night, contemplating how cruel it had been to both of you. Though, with a scoff you realize that he wouldn’t care. This would all pass by for him like it was nothing, because it had already been too long to recall the last time he had cared for you.

↳ sf9 taglist: @eternalgyu

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squish36-writes-and-draws · 7 months

Text

Carry a Torch

Word count: 4401 <- untrustworthy number

TW: alcohol

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @faggot-friday @kamikothe1and0nly @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously @poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @did-i-say-you-could-get-up @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @xanadaus @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @arson-anarchy-death @dizzeners @thefoxysnake @olivedumdum

On Ao3 or below the cut!

I would thoroughly recommend reading this on Ao3 if possible. I originally wrote this as a screenplay for my creative writing class and, as such, tumblr nuked the formatting. Ao3 did as well, but less so.

That being said, it's kind of important to understand my larger concept. This is a script for a pilot episode of a TV show. Each episode is going to be featured around a song (and I was forced to write this one which is why it's bad) so at the end, it's a concept album. You will not be allowed to have the rest of the show. I refuse to write it.) This also takes place in 1925 so I've thrown some less than successful slang in there.

INT. EVERGLEN RECORDING STUDIO - MIDDAY - 1925

KEEFE leans over the antique Vernon family heirloom piano where FITZROY (FITZ) is playing. The intro credit music stops as FITZ looks up at him.

FITZ sighs.

FITZ

Let me guess. You’ve been thinking.

KEEFE gasps overdramatically.

KEEFE

(feigned surprise)

Why ever would I do such a thing? You

know thinking can only lead to dangerous

outcomes. That being said, I did have a

thought.

FITZ

Stars, why do I even bother anymore?

KEEFE smiles annoyingly.

KEEFE

Because I’m very difficult to get rid of.

(beat)

I trust you know we’ve been looking for

a new venue since Tam dusted out on us.

FITZ

And whose fault was that?

KEEFE

Legally? Not mine.

FITZ pinches the bridge of his nose. KEEFE is unbothered by this.

KEEFE (CONT’D)

Anyway I was talking to Sophie—

FITZ

Anything that starts like that is certain

to end badly.

KEEFE

Fitzroy Avery Vacker, listen to me for a

second for once in your life. Foster has a

cousin whose family has a place we could

use. It’s not the most ideal—

FITZ

(interrupting)

Then why are we even going to bother with

considering it?

KEEFE

The back corner of a coffee shop is

better than nothing. Not all of us are

lucky enough to leech off your parents.

FITZ pauses for a moment, considering making KEEFE verbalize why, exactly, he cut off his relationship with his parents.

FITZ

I take it that means you’ve already booked

it.

KEEFE

It’s one gig. Do your best to tolerate it.

KEEFE turns toward the back door. No one knows where he is going, probably including himself.

FITZ

You know I won’t.

KEEFE

And you know I don’t care.

The door closes behind him and FITZ cracks his knuckles before going back to playing the piano.

INT. SLURPS AND BURPS - LATE EVENING/NIGHT

Slurps and Burps is a coffee shop during the day and a Speakeasy at night. People mill about, the space filled with chatter.

BIANA is sitting at the counter, swinging her feet as she talks to SOPHIE, drinking what is likely spiked coffee.

DEXTER (DEX) and FITZ are getting everything set up for the performance this evening. FITZ is trying to be helpful. DEX is left moving the piano mostly by himself.

DEX

(breathing heavy, teasing)

My guy, did you fill this thing with rocks?

FITZ

(indignant)

No. It’s just built to last.

DEX

(proud of his pun)

Well, it could certainly last through me

driving a car into it.

FITZ

Why would you ever find yourself in that

situation?

DEX shrugs.

DEX

I don’t know.

FITZ looks over at KEEFE, who is flirting with some random extra.

DEX adjusts the piano into its final resting place.

DEX

Can I get you anything? Java, tea, what

have you. We’ve got everything.

DEX lowers his voice.

DEX (CONT’D)

A little bit of moonshine? It’s a family

recipe.

FITZ

(low, dangerous)

You know, it’s probably not very good

business practice to disclose that

information to just anyone who walks in

off the street. Somebody’s going to call

copper.

DEX

(unconcerned, irritated)

You rat me out, you’re out of a job.

FITZ snorts.

FITZ

I didn’t want this gig in the first place.

FITZ raises his voice.

FITZ (CONT’D)

Isn’t that right, Keefe?

KEEFE

I got no context, so whatever makes him

look the most like a sap is the one I

want.

KEEFE spends the rest of the conversation watching them.

DEX

(voice low)

Then why are you here? Why did you even

bother?

FITZ leans against the piano, almost protectively, trying to make himself look relaxed. He is not. FITZ shrugs stiffly.

FITZ

I had nothing better to do. Trust me. I

tried. I really did.

DEX

(maximum sarcasm)

Wow, that must have been so difficult

for you.

FITZ

Lay off it, alright? I’m here for Keefe,

regardless of what you might want to think.

DEX

I want to believe you’re a sap, and you’re

not exactly giving me much evidence to the

contrary.

DEX takes a sip out of some unspecified alcoholic beverage. This is a speakeasy, after all.

FITZ

Oh, so you’ve talked to me for what? Five

minutes? And now you think you’re an

expert in my every waking thought? Every

detail of my inner psyche?

DEX puts his hands up, defensive.

DEX

I didn’t say that, Socrates. Watch your

tongue the text time you try to blow

things out of proportion.

FITZ

Like that isn’t blowing things even

further out of proportion?

DEX

If I remember correctly—and please

correct me if I am wrong here—you were

the first to threaten me and my family,

so I think that’s more than a fair

trade from your perspective.

The lights flicker, signaling the start of the show. It is operated by DEX’S BROTHER #1.

DEX

Well.

DEX presses his lips together.

DEX (CONT’D)

(bitter)

I should tell you to have fun up there,

but I don’t think you’re capable of

that. Break a leg and all that

superstitious nonsense.

DEX shifts to his customer service voice, laced with passive aggression.

DEX (CONT’D)

Let me know if I can get you anything

to make your time here slightly less

inconvenient.

FITZ turns away without a reply or a second thought.

EXT. - HAVENFIELD - MIDDAY, FALL

SOPHIE and DEX are sitting under a Jacaranda tree, leaves beginning to fall but not completely bare. They are complaining about many things. FITZ is a large topic of discussion on this fine day, and also KEEFE and BIANA to a lesser extent.

DEX

How do you put up with all of them on

a daily basis?

SOPHIE

Determination, resilience, a lack of

other valid career paths, and a dash

of—

SOPHIE wiggles her eyebrows. It is unclear which one she is wiggling her eyebrows about, but that ambiguity will be important.

DEX sighs.

DEX

Okay, like, on the one hand, I get what

you’re saying and, yeah, you’re

absolutely right.

SOPHIE laughs.

SOPHIE

That’s because I’m objectively correct.

DEX is too far in his own head to react to SOPHIE’s comment.

DEX

But, like, how can you reconcile that

with that personality? I don’t get it.

SOPHIE

There’s nothing to get. Admire from a

distance and your problems solve

themselves. Easy.

DEX pauses to consider this answer.

DEX

No. I don’t like that solution. Give me

a better one. Replace the personality

itself. You went to college. You have a

fancy degree in marketing or something.

Figure it out.

SOPHIE

Okay, first of all, that was several

years ago and I haven’t used it since.

DEX

You have a photographic memory. Don’t

try to pull that on me.

SOPHIE doesn’t know how to reply to this for a beat.

SOPHIE

(feigned anger)

Damn. How dare you know all my tricks?

Anyway, I don’t think personality

replacement was covered in my curriculum.

Sorry. But do let me know if the store

needs new customers.

DEX

Some might argue there’s already too many

people. That doesn’t excuse the fact that

you’re supposed to know the answers to

life, the universe, and everything. This

has been thoroughly established.

SOPHIE

Well, I don’t. Sorry.

DEX pauses for a long time, somewhere in the realm of several whole seconds.

DEX

I just wish…things would be easier.

SOPHIE smiles softly, encouragingly.

SOPHIE

On which front?

DEX laughs bitterly.

DEX

Yes.

DEX pauses, debating with himself if he should elaborate.

DEX (CONT’D)

(frequent pauses, struggling with sentences)

It’s just that…Fitz is…tangling

everything together. I used to be able

to go to work without getting trapped

in my own mind. And, well, to be

completely honest, I don’t much

appreciate it.

SOPHIE

You should go tell him that.

DEX physically flinches away from this idea.

DEX

I have an even better idea. How about

you go tell your boyfriend Keefe?

He’s the one that concocted this whole

booking-Slurps-and-Burps-for-a-gig

disaster. He should be the one to unravel

this Gordian knot of a situation.

SOPHIE

I’m not dealing with your problems.

You can talk to Fitz yourself or you

can deal with it.

DEX

(Making himself sound useless on purpose)

But, alas, I’m incapable of speaking

with people in rational terms. Whatever

am I to do?

SOPHIE

(not buying into DEX’s act)

Don’t make me show you what irrational

terms sound like.

DEX sighs, defeated. This is going to be unpleasant, but he’s already concocting the bribery he is going to offer KEEFE to make him want to relocate. Preferably without destroying his and SOPHIE’s relationship.

DEX is also fairly easily convinced to do things he doesn’t want to do while also being immensely stubborn.

DEX

Fine.

EXT. RECORDING STUDIO - THE NEXT DAY, DAYLIGHT HOURS

DEX walks up to the door and argues with himself in his mind before knocking.

Inside, FITZ sighs and stops playing piano. As he stands, his joints sing the song of their people. Unlocking the door, he finds DEX studying the ground and fidgeting with his sleeve.

FITZ

Hello! What can I—

FITZ realizes who is standing in the doorway and drops the polite act.

FITZ (CONT’D)

(flatly)

—What do you want?

DEX is irritated by this in an effort to not be thinking about how he is engaging in a conversation.

DEX

Believe it or not, not everything is

about you. I’m here to speak with

Keefe.

FITZ considers this, leaning against the doorframe.

FITZ

Nah, I don’t believe that one. Besides,

Keefe isn’t here. I don’t know where

he is or when he’ll be back. Sorry.

DEX feels a rush of relief, taking a deep breath.

DEX

It’s probably futile to ask you to tell

him that I was looking for him, but I’m

going to hope anyway.

DEX turns around to leave.

FITZ

You’re exactly right.

DEX

You don’t have to sound so disappointed.

BIANA (O.S.)

(yelling to be heard from across the studio)

Fitzroy! Stop being so obnoxious!

BIANA’s voice comes down from a yell to a normal speaking voice as the sentence goes on and she gets close enough to push FITZ out of the doorway and take his place.

BIANA (CONT’D)

I’m sure Keefe will return sometime

soon.

FITZ

(muttering)

Lies. Filth and lies.

BIANA

(to FITZ)

He’s going to get hungry sooner or

later.

FITZ seems to accept this, rolling his eyes and wandering back to his precious piano.

BIANA

(to DEX)

Can I get you anything? Fitz has an

obsession with baking and we’re

always trying to get rid of the

aftermath.

DEX smiles awkwardly as he shakes his head. BIANA turns to not be outdoors anymore and DEX follows her inside.

DEX

I mean, if you want to sell them at

Slurps and Burps, I could always

ask my parents.

DEX shrugs.

DEX (CONT’D)

I’m sure they’d agree, but I’d rather

present a possibility than a guarantee,

you know.

BIANA

You sound like him.

DEX and FITZ look equally offended by this and avoid eye contact at all costs.

BIANA takes this opportunity to leave DEX and FITZ together for a length of time while she investigates this route.

BIANA

Well, I’ve got some extra time today,

so I can go ask your parents myself.

Don’t knock each other off while I’m

gone, got it?

FITZ and DEX watch her leave. This is the same door that KEEFE used in the first scene, not the front door.

FITZ

(yelling after her)

How many times do I have to tell you to

stop meddling in my life?

FITZ huffs.

DEX gets up to leave out of the front door that is still open.

FITZ

(irritated and tired)

Where are you going now?

DEX

…Leaving?

FITZ

Well, don’t. Biana is going to think

I’ve planted you in the backyard or

under the floorboards.

DEX releases an exasperated sigh and sits down on a conveniently placed stool.

FITZ (CONT’D)

Believe me, I wouldn’t say that unless

it was absolutely necessary.

DEX

(his temper finally snaps)

What is your problem, dude? You’ve been

nothing but rude during the ten minutes

we’ve interacted. I understand if you

don’t like me. That’s understandable.

But you’re like this toward everyone. I

can also understand you didn’t want to

do the gig for whatever reason, but

instead of being like that about it, you

could’ve figured out a way to sit in

time out until the last minute. It’s not

that hard. There’s a very nice storage

closet where I’ve spent more hours than

I’d like to admit hiding from people.

FITZ’s hands drop forcefully into his lap.

FITZ

(equally angry)

Why should I explain myself to you? I

couldn’t care less about what you

think. I don’t know why you think I

would.

DEX

Oh, I don’t know, basic human decency?

I really don’t care if you disagree,

but I tried my best to be pleasant,

and you made that very, very difficult.

FITZ

That seems like a you problem.

DEX

Well, I’m sorry you couldn’t tolerate

a single evening that wasn’t precisely

what you wanted to do. That must have

been so hard for you. It’s almost like

I’m not trapped in that coffee shop

every single day.

FITZ

Again, that seems like a you problem.

I don’t see why I should be concerned

with a you problem.

DEX

And I don’t see why I have to put up

with your—

DEX gestures vaguely at FITZ, unable or unwilling to say what he’s thinking.

FITZ

(challenging)

My what?

DEX

Your general existence. I don’t want to

be here as much as you don’t want me to

be here. I would adore being able to

leave you alone, but it looks like

neither of us are going to get what we

want.

FITZ

So you’ve made it your personal mission

to make yourself as infuriating as

possible in the meantime?

DEX

I guess so. You didn’t exactly make it

difficult for me.

The sound of the back door opening stops FITZ from responding. KEEFE enters, mild surprise at seeing DEX but he also doesn’t care that much.

KEEFE

Did you miss me?

FITZ and DEX

(in approximate unison)

No.

FITZ and DEX look at each other—this is a pretty significant milestone in them agreeing on something. They laugh.

INT. SLURPS AND BURPS - MIDMORNING

FITZ enters, the doorbell announcing his presence. He makes eye contact with DEX’S SISTER at the counter.

DEX’S SISTER

Dex! Your friend is here!

DEX appears from the back, expecting SOPHIE or maybe even KEEFE. He has severe dark circles and is immediately irritated by FITZ’s presence.

DEX’S SISTER trades places with him, though she will be listening to their whole conversation.

DEX

What do you want this time?

FITZ

I do believe you’re a tea shop when

you’re not running from the police, and,

as such, I’d like a small Earl Grey.

DEX gives him a look. The kind of staredown that requires invocation of the if-looks-could-kill meter.

DEX takes some of the hot water from the coffee and unwraps a teabag, allowing it to start steeping.

DEX

And you had to come here for that?

FITZ

You’ve got the best tea in the shortest

distance from my apartment.

DEX

You can make tea yourself, you know.

FITZ

Yes, but, you see, then I have to

Interact with Keefe. In that case,

the amount I would spend in bribery is

significantly greater than venturing

out into the world.

DEX

I can almost see that.

DEX hands FITZ the scalding mug of tea. FITZ touches it and flinches away.

DEX (CONT’D)

Can I get anything else for you today?

FITZ

If you have a least favorite muffin,

I’ll take one of those.

DEX studies the muffins for a long second before choosing a victim. It is placed into a white paper bag that is slightly too small for both his hand and a muffin.

DEX

That’ll be $1.05

FITZ takes out his wallet and slides over a $20. For reference, this is roughly $350 when adjusted for inflation. That is also why the price of a tea and muffin is scaled the way it is.

DEX’s eyebrows react appropriately to the amount of money this is.

DEX

(projecting calmness and irritation)

Singlehandedly paying for a week’s rent

isn’t going to make me like you.

FITZ

Okay. That’s not going to stop me. Just

think of it like a starting point. A

deposit in exchange for dealing with me

and my—

FITZ gestures vaguely at himself.

DEX

I’m never going to live that one down,

am I?

FITZ

(almost, but not quite, playful)

Not if I have anything to do with it.

DEX

Lovely.

FITZ

Careful, I’m willing and able to have

Keefe perpetuate it even further.

DEX

I hope you know that my siblings have

already added it to their very limited

vocabulary, so there’s really no need.

DEX realizes this may result in additional perpetuity because it sounded like he was trying to make FITZ stop and that means he could take it as a challenge.

DEX (CONT’D)

Although, I guess there is a constant

need to make me suffer as much as

possible, so it’s really up to your

discretion.

FITZ takes the tea, no longer giving him fourth degree burns, and his muffin.

FITZ

Would you care to dine with me on

this fine morning?

DEX makes sure there aren’t too many customers, in case he would be needed to work. There are not. Most of their income comes in after sunset.

DEX

(loud so his siblings can hear)

Yes, I would like to get paid to not

work.

FITZ flashes a small smile that DEX does not see.

FITZ and DEX sit at a booth in the corner for minimum visibility. There aren’t many other people and if they get into another argument, they don’t want to be public entertainment.

DEX

It really is remarkable how determined

you are to both piss me off and remain

a patron here.

FITZ

Well, I’m sure you could solve the

latter fairly quickly.

DEX gestures widely to the doorway to the kitchen, where his siblings are trying to not be caught eavesdropping.

DEX

Behold. The reasons I am physically

incapable of kicking you out. I do that,

I’m never going to hear the end of it,

and that’ll get out to the rest of our

customers—because of course it will—and

then suddenly they start going down the

street for their mediocre morning coffee.

FITZ

Well, I’m not a coffee person, so I can’t

review yours, but your Earl Grey is quite

nice.

DEX lowers his voice conspiratorially.

DEX

It’s even nicer with a little splash of

something. If you get what I mean.

FITZ

(voice low to match)

It’s not even noon yet.

DEX

Then come back later. Time usually

travels linearly in the forward

direction, and then it’ll be after noon

and you’ll have to come up with a new

excuse. If that new excuse just so

happens to be that it’s not five

o’clock yet, wait until I tell you about

what else time can do. It can travel

linearly. In the forward direction.

DEX’S BROTHER #2 (O.S.)

And we don’t have a band tonight so then

maybe you’ll perform and Dex will be—

DEX turns and points at him.

DEX

Don’t finish that sentence if you don’t

want lead poisoning.

FITZ smiles.

FITZ

Allegedly.

DEX

Allegedly.

DEX turns back to FITZ.

DEX (CONT’D)

You don’t have to if you don’t want to.

FITZ

And that sounds like you’re trying to get

rid of me. I’ll see you tonight then.

FITZ brightens his smile and leaves. DEX doesn’t take any opportunity to argue with him, despite the fact that he has more than enough time to react.

When the door shuts, DEX releases a big sigh, deflating.

INT. SLURPS AND BURPS - AROUND SUNDOWN

Slurps and Burps is once again filled with many patrons, and they are once again filling the room with chatter. The piano is already in place, as are BIANA’s saxophone and KEEFE’s drum kit.

FITZ

(at KEEFE)

Stop looking at me like that.

KEEFE

(feigned oblivious innocence)

Like what?

FITZ

You know what you’re doing. Being all

self-righteous.

KEEFE

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

FITZ cycles through a few arguments before deciding it isn’t worth it.

FITZ

Forget it. We don’t have time to argue

about this. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I

do have a small change to the setlist.

KEEFE

Shouldn’t that have been discussed

previously?

FITZ

It’s not like you would care either way.

What’s it you tell me? Fitzroy, it’s

jazz, nobody cares about the setlist.

Half of it is already improv.

KEEFE

That might be accurate, but that doesn’t

mean I like it.

FITZ turns away, grumbling to himself and searching the crowd for DEX.

When he does eventually find him, FITZ smiles hesitantly.

FITZ

So this might be an odd request, but

please hear me out before you say no.

DEX

(already irritated)

Go ahead.

FITZ

(quickly, in a single breath)

I may or may not have a tendency to

process things by writing songs, which

I’m sure is a massive surprise

considering why I’m here. I don’t

remember exactly why I was talking to

Sophie a couple of days ago, but that’s

beside the point. Anyway, I happened to

be blessed with the songwriting curse

immediately after she left, and when I

emerged from the cave, the song’s point

of view was a little wonky. And by that

I mean, of course, that I tried to

project into your head, which is really

weird now that I’m saying it out loud.

DEX

Calm down. I don’t need you passing out

on me. I don’t want to call Elwin. He’s

already mad at Sophie. I don’t need that.

FITZ takes a deep, slightly shaky breath.

FITZ

On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely would

it be that I could ask you really,

really nicely to do the verse that’s

attempting, probably very badly, to

be in your point of view so that I

don’t have to ask Keefe to do it?

DEX

About a -7, presuming it’s a logarithmic

scale, but I’ll do it anyway.

A pause.

FITZ

Why?

DEX

Don’t question my motives. Just be

aware that I don’t know what I’m doing

and if I think about it too long, I’m

going to go cry in the bathroom, so

don’t let me think.

FITZ

Got it.

A longer pause, FITZ contemplates telling DEX something to help with the fact that his blood pressure is visibly rising.

BIANA (O.S.)

Fitz! It’s nine. Get going.

FITZ

(yelling over to BIANA)

Who is this punctual person and what

have you done to my sister?

FITZ turns back to DEX and pulls a crunched piece of paper out of his pocket.

FITZ (CONT’D)

Here’s the lyrics. I didn’t have time to

formalize any sheet music, but just kind

of…vibe with the music. That’s kind of

this whole genre’s mission statement,

isn’t it?

DEX

I am regretting my life choices.

FITZ

I’m sorry to hear that. You’ll be fine,

though. If not, I’ll bribe everyone with

muffins until the complaints stop.

DEX

(physically shaking)

Okay.

FITZ takes his place at the piano, making eye contact with KEEFE.

FITZ

Trust me, okay?

KEEFE smirks.

KEEFE

Yeah, of course. I’d let you lead us off

a cliff.

FITZ

A wouldn’t expect anything less.

FITZ begins playing an introduction, underscored by low rumblings from KEEFE’s floor tom after the first bar. FITZ’s focus remains squarely on KEEFE.

FITZ (CONT’D)

(singing)

HE LEANED OVER THE PIANO

WITH THAT MISCHIEVOUS GLINT IN HIS EYE.

HE’S BEEN THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING

AND NOW THERE’S NO GOING BACK.

The tempo ticks upward as KEEFE’s drums develop into a polyrhythm. FITZ leans back, his gaze landing on the ceiling.

FITZ (CONT’D)

THE WORLD IS ALWAYS MOVING FORWARD

I’M HANGING ON TO WHAT I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN

WHAT I’VE KNOWN HAS GOTTEN ME THIS FAR

WHY BOTHER CHANGING THAT?

FITZ finally looks at DEX, his irritation over the past few days on full display in his tone. The instrumentation drops out for a beat.

FITZ (CONT’D)

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT WITH ME?

WHY DO YOU FIND SUCH PLEASURE ANGERING ME?

IF I COULD LEAVE, I PROMISE I WOULD,

BUT I DON’T HAVE A WAY TO ESCAPE.

I DON’T HAVE A WAY TO RUN AWAY FROM THIS PLACE

AND SO I’LL KEEP ON OCCUPYING YOUR SPACE.

DEX’s voice is so soft even the people standing next to him probably cannot hear him. He’s staring firmly at the ground. It’s not exactly symmetrical in the vocals or instrumentation with the first verse, but there’s no need for it to be.

DEX

(singing)

SHE’S ALWAYS MY WORST INFLUENCE

BY PUSHING ME OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE.

IF ONLY SHE WOULD UNDERSTAND

I WANT TO FIND AN ESCAPE.

DEX gains a bit more confidence, staring at FITZ’s shoes and singing slightly louder.

DEX (CONT’D)

THE WORLD IS ALWAYS MOVING FORWARD,

I’M STILL RUNNING FROM WHAT I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN.

WHAT I’VE KNOWN HAS GOTTEN ME THIS FAR

WHAT MORE CAN LIE AHEAD?

DEX fixes a death glare on FITZ.

DEX (CONT’D)

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT WITH ME?

WHY DO YOU FIND SUCH PLEASURE ANGERING ME?

IF I COULD LEAVE, I PROMISE I WOULD,

BUT I DON’T HAVE A WAY TO ESCAPE

I DON’T HAVE A WAY TO RUN AWAY FROM THIS PLACE

AND SO I’LL KEEP ON OCCUPYING YOUR SPACE.

Two bars of SILENCE echo through the room.

FITZ and DEX

(start softly, crescendoing)

IF I STAY HERE AND YOU STAY THERE

I’LL STOP STEPPING ON YOUR TOES

IF WE PRETEND LIKE NONE OF US CARE

MAYBE IT’LL COME TRUE.

THAT DOESN’T MEAN THAT I’LL EVER LIKE YOU

AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIKE ME.

PACIFY THE ELDER GODS

AND THEN WE’LL BOTH BE—FREE.

There is a long break, filled with instrumentation. BIANA and her saxophone have a whole narrative arc. DEX goes and runs off into the back, trying to never be seen again.

FITZ

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT WITH ME?

WHY DO YOU FIND SUCH PLEASURE ANGERING ME?

IF I COULD LEAVE, I PROMISE I WOULD,

BUT I DON’T HAVE A WAY TO ESCAPE.

I DON’T HAVE A WAY TO RUN AWAY FROM THIS PLACE

AND SO I’LL KEEP ON OCCUPYING YOUR SPACE.

END SHOW

#kotlc #fedex week 2023 #fedex #detz #kotlc fedex #kotlc detz #dex dizznee #kotlc dex #kotlc fitz #fitz vacker #ship: fedex #series: fedex week 2023 #character: fitz #character: dex #character: keefe #character: sophie #character: biana

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leaveitbythewave · 4 months

Text

the weed.

chapter 2.

The music played through the room as bodies were pressed against one another and cups were littered on the floor around them.

I could feel Oliver's arms around my waist while mine were behind me in his hair. My hips moved in slow calculated circles against his and I could feel the tension release from his body as his hands tighten their hold on me.

Felix had found himself a small blonde to entertain him and Farleigh, well he was probably off playing doctor with another freshman.

Turning around in Ollie's hold I place my hands on the top of his shoulders near his collar bone..."are you having fun?"

He looks at me with a devilish smirk, "the most fun i've had in a long time".

I smile back at him and let my head fall back as the alcohol consumes any remaining sober cell I have. The colorful lights above me begin to blur into one and I struggle to see any color aside from red.

My head feels heavy as I try and pull it to an upright position. I look around for Felix as I can feel my anxiety begin to spike. My hands start to shake and Oliver takes note.

"Hey, are you alright? Do you need to sit down?" Oliver says loud enough for me to hear while gently holding my hands.

I nod my head, "do you know where Felix is? I don't feel well. I think someone may have put something in my drink." I look around the crowded room but when I try to find Felix, my eyes can't handle the amount of movement and the lights so I close them and begin to take shallow breaths.

Oliver grabs my side and guides me to the empty bathroom, "wait here and I will go find him okay?" He places a kiss on my forehead and closes the door.

I raise up from the toilet i'm sitting on and place my hands on the counter while taking in my appearance in the mirror. My once perfect curled hair has since fallen and now only waves are left in their place. My makeup thankfully has stayed in tact, but no amount of makeup can hide the baggage that is under my eyes. The hours spent crying after every party, the pressure of both excelling in school while upholding the perfect social circle my parents "built for me". Felix and I grew up together, practically conceived to be best friends or more. He has been there for me through everything. Every happy moment, every tear, every time a boy treated me like garbage he would show up with cherry chocolate ice cream and watch hours of Rupaul's Drag Race until I felt better. Felix is my better half, the one that has kept me going in this fucked up thing we call life. Sometimes, I think he is too good for it.

"Margot! Mar-is she in this one?" I hear Felix rushing down the hall and the door opens next to me.

I stare at the opened door and feel my body begin to wobble back and forth.

"Margot hey, hey darlin' you alright? What happened?" Felix ushers towards me and sits on the closed seat while pulling me onto his lap.

I slowly shake my head, " I don't know. I was just dancing with Ollie and I started to feel funny..." I lean my head into the space between Felix's neck and shoulder while reaching my had out to hold Oliver's finger.

"Did you see anyone touch her drink? I mean it wasn't the one I grabbed us because otherwise all of us would be like this." Felix asks Oliver while brushing my hair away from my face.

"No, I didn't see anyone. I'm so sorry, I should have been watching out more carefully." Oliver says as his hand runs over his head.

"Hey, it's not your fault alright. I appreciate you coming to get me mate seriously. Can you do me a favor and go tell Farleigh that we are heading out, just say that I got sick or something. Last thing I need is that prick saying something low about her right now." Felix says while lifting me up into his arms and heading towards the door.

"Yeah of course."

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

I roll over with a slight groan my eyes squinting at the brightness. Opening my eyes I pat around the soft surface for my phone and once I find it I click it on...dead of course.

Fuck. This means I have to actually get up and mingle with the living.

Peeling back the covers I slowly swing my legs off the bed and place them on the cold surface of the hardwood and make my way out of the bedroom.

"Should we make sure she's okay?"

"I checked on her an hour ago, she will wake up on her own."

Walking down the stairs I am met with both Felix and Oliver sitting by the island in Felix's kitchen. Yes, Felix has his own flat.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Felix says walking up to me and pulling me into a hug.

"The honest truth? Like fucking shit." I say while my face is pressed in his chest. "Thank you guys for taking care of me last night, I really don't know how that even happened. I swore I only got drinks from the two of you, but maybe I got one from Kelli or someone."

"Regardless, I am happy you're alright." Oliver says with a small smile.

"Me too because if you weren't it would make this sound really fucking selfish...my family wants me to go back to Saltburn for the summer and Oliver I would like you to come with. Margot obviously if you're still feeling up to it, you are more than welcome. Venetia would be ecstatic to see you."

Grabbing a cup from the shelf I pour myself some coffee nodding my head, "of course I'll come. Oh Oliver you will love Saltburn. It truly feels like a different world. And the family would love you, and those blue eyes." I bring the coffee cup to lips and narrow my eyes at Oliver which receives a narrowed look back.

"I...would love to come, but I just heard this mornin' that my dad...he uhm..."

Placing the cup on the counter I rush to his side and place my hand on his shoulder, "Oh Ollie, I am so sorry. What happened?"

His eyes began forming tears and his lip quivered as he spoke, "His drinking had caught up with him...I tried to get him to stop...so many times...he just, he was a relentless prick when it came to that stuff." He hung his head low.

Lowering mine towards his I placed a kiss on his head as I stroked his hair.

"Oh mate...I am so sorry. Please, come with us to Saltburn. We can help you in anyway that we can. It might help you." Felix says patting his shoulder.

"I am so sorry Ollie. Please come with us". I whisper in his ear.

His head lifts up and he wipes his eyes, "I don't want to be a bother."

"You won't be I promise. Mother loves having guests."

He ponders the thought for a moment before nodding, "alright."

"Saltburn can be the place that heals you" I whisper in his ear as I place one final kiss on his cheek.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

Felix and I had left a few days before Oliver due to his class schedule and today was the day he would arrive.

Duncan had spent the entire day dusting the curtains, and any other task Elspeth had requested of him.

"What time is Ollie supposed to make an appearance?"

"Oh? Is someone waiting for Ollieee?" Felix teases from the bed.

I grab the pillow and hit him with it, "No, I just asked a fucking question."

In a moment we are met with the sounds of Duncan welcoming in a guest.

....."he's here."

#saltburn #saltburn fanfiction #oliver quick #Spotify

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spinningbuster98 · 2 months

Video

youtube

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (1992) Part 1: Emerald Hunting

Now we’re getting to the fun stuff

I love Sonic 2. It’s not even my favorite in the whole series (though it most certainly is in the top 5), but it’s a game that I can’t help but appreciate for its overall simplicity

This is a no-nonsense kind of sequel: take the ideas introduced in Sonic 1 and actually flesh them out by jacking up the speed, improving the physics and making the level design a helluva lot more appropriate for this kind of gameplay

Granted: the level design is definitely still more on the simple side, I’ve even seen some claim that it’s borderline “hold right to win”. Yeah sure, do that in Aquatic Ruin without falling in the water. Or in Oil Ocean and Metropolis without getting hit every 2 seconds. (No defense for Emerald Hill though, but tbf that’s the first level). The platforming is also generally less focused than in Sonic 1 but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Sonic may ideally strike a balance between speed and platforming but if he really has to veer into either direction I think it’s best to veer towards the former because 1) That’s what makes Sonic stand out and 2) Sonic can’t do pure platforming as well as the likes of Mario. His physics based movements, while great for speed, are generally not ideal for the kind of pixel perfect jumps that hardcore platformers often require, which is why, if you notice, Sonic games usually have pretty big platforms for him to jump on and the platforms themselves don’t often move too quickly and the few times the games do throw smaller platforms at you, like the ones with retractable spikes in Metropolis, it feels awkward even though those would be pretty standard in most other platformers. You probably wouldn’t be able to put Megaman’s Yoku Blocks and make them work in a Sonic game for example. Besides to say that Sonic 2 has no platforming is just silly: Aquatic Ruin is litererally built on the concept of trying to stick to the upper route so as to avoid falling into the water, which instantly makes it a much better water level than Labyrinth Zone

Casino Night Zone feels like a more fleshed out Spring Yard what with its more focused pinball mechanics. I do wonder though if any pearl clutching mothers back then had any issues with their children playing a kids’ game that featured literal slot machines...

I don’t even think that Chemical Plant needs any introduction, though I will say that act 1 is way too short and underwhelming

Are there issues? Oh yes. Because of the increased speed there’s now also an increased chance of running into enemies that come from offscreen. Granted this is an issue in all 2D Sonic games, even Sonic 3 (Marble Garden says hi), but I can’t say that this game does much to mitigate it, especially with things like Chemical Plant featuring stuff like flipping floor boards at points, which may just flip right as you’re about to approach them plunging you to your death through no fault of your own! And who could forget the Pit of Doom?

The way Special Stages are accessed is undoubtadly much better: yes having to collect 50 rings without getting hit is still a pain, but now you get so many more chances to actually play a Special Stage

The Stages themselves are full of issues, don’t get me wrong: the frame rate is super choppy, the controls laggy, you pretty much have to know in advance when some bombs are coming and from where because the stage itself gives you little to no heads up, having Tails with you is like having a literal ball and chain strapped onto you. Hell I think it’s quite telling that one of my clearest childhood memories of this game is...going on GameFaqs to look up the Super Sonic cheat code, not to mention the fact that, even 20 years later, I STILL have muscle memory of these stages, like a sixth sense telling me when I should turn or when to jump.

Despite this however I would still much rather contend with these than those of the previous game: these Special Stages are made to be mastered on repeated playthroughs, which is encouraged both by the amount of attempts you can possibly make throughout the game and the fact that, when you fail, the next time you warp in you’re going to retry the one you failed in rather than moving onto the next one like all the other Classic games do for some stupid reason.

I can get better over time at these Special Stages and get more or less consistent results. With Sonic 1′s, even after 20 years of playing them, it still feels like a luck of the draw half the time

It also certainly helps that, this time around, you actually obtain something worthwhile by getting all the Emeralds and not just a slightly different ending

#youtube #sonic the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog 2 1992 #my gameplay

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satonthelotuspier · 1 year

Text

A quick 520 threadfic

It was just before midnight by the time Wei Wuxian rolled in, and he had expected Jiang Cheng to be in bed asleep. The other kept diametrically opposed hours to Wei Wuxian normally after all.

He was a little the worse for wear, having been caught up in an unexpected drinking session with some old friends he had met by chance on the way home. But he could still feel the miasma of anger rising from the figure sat on the sofa, watching the door.

Ah, so this was the "killing intent" so frequently talked of in xianxia novels? And Jiang Cheng was radiating it in excess.

He looked around the room in panic, had he missed some plans they'd made?

No, he definitely couldn't remember them making any. Although there was a bottle of good alcohol and several of his favourite snacks set out on the coffee table. But they really hadn't had any plans. Jiang Cheng had called him that morning to check what time he'd be home, but hadn't said anything about them doing something together later.

Had he missed his chores?

Really that was the reason Jiang Cheng was usually most annoyed at Wei Wuxian, so it was likely. But then, why would Jiang Cheng reward him with drinks and his favourite snacks?

It made no sense.

"What's wrong, Jiang Cheng?" He resorted to asking.

There was silence, as Jiang Cheng dragged himself to his feet, and stared at Wei Wuxian like he wanted to punch him where he stood.

The silence stretched on, as Jiang Cheng seemed to fight to take control of himself. "Nothing." There was enough venom in the negative response that Wei Wuxian wasn't sure he shouldn't go to the hospital right now for a shot of Jiang Cheng-antivenom. Even after all their years as friends, he hadn't yet built up the required immunity.

"Nothing my ass." The words were out on his alcohol-controlled tongue before his slightly slower brain managed to identify it as a response he was better keeping in his own head.

"Nothing, Wei Wuxian. Why would there be? We didn't make any plans. I didn't ask you to make sure you came home." Jiang Cheng made to stomp past him and go to his own room, when Wei Wuxian caught him by the arm.

He turned, and shoved Wei Wuxian lightly, annoyed. But his balance was just a tiny bit affected, and he stumbled back against the wall. Jiang Cheng watched him like a haughty king watching an annoying pleb he was about to stamp under his boots. He hated that look on Jiang Chengs face!

"Your missish temperament will keep any self-respecting girl well away, Jiang Cheng." He mocked, and watched the hot tide of colour, tied to his sudden temper spike, flood up Jiang Cheng's neck.

Oops.

"I've had plenty of self-respecting girls interested, you asshole. It's not their fault I'm so fucking stupid I'm in love with a jackass who can't see it, and even when I work up the courage to tell him to his face he can't even be bothered to come home." He tried to yank his arm free but now nothing short of cutting Wei Wuxian's hold off at the wrist would have worked, as he clung on to keep Jiang Cheng in place.

Jiang Cheng realised he'd said too much after all.

Or, in Wei Wuxian's opinion, finally he'd said enough.

He chose to let the comment about him being a jackass go, and not point out that if Jiang Cheng had asked him to come home directly, he likely would have.

Or at least bargained to make it earlier than he had.

Because he'd said something a lot more important. Wei Wuxian chuckled, and suddenly pushed himself away from the wall, altering their positions so Jiang Cheng was pinned between it and Wei Wuxian's body. He took hold of Jiang Cheng's chin, and, holding him still, smiled down into his eyes.

He wasn't aware of what expression his face showed, but it seemed to have Jiang Cheng frozen in place, his almond eyes wide and surprised.

"I accept your feelings, A-Cheng," he grinned, and leaned in, til his breath gusted over Jiang Cheng's lips. The other wet them with his tongue in a suddenly nervous gesture. "Let me share mine with you, too." He twinned sliding a thigh between Jiang Cheng's with the words, before he leaned down to cover Jiang Cheng's mouth, swallowing whatever insincere bravado was about to burst from them with his own.

#chengxian #xiancheng #love confessions #ish #I'm terrible at remembering to keep tumblr updated

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blueroses789 · 2 years

Text

From Green to Blue

Chapter 14: Breaking point

Next chapter: Into the cage

Warnings:

Angst

Smut

Mental health crisis

MDNI: 18 plus

So when I was editing I realized that about 25% of this chapter was deleted. So I had to rewrite it. Thank you for your patients.

Also I am so excited to get this chapter out because this one was so exciting! Since the beginning of this book I have wanted to get this chapter out.

“So you're sleeping with my brother now?” Those were the first words Zeke said to Hannah. When those words passed his lips, Hannah felt her stomach clench. He made it sound like she was a prostitute. Maybe he didn’t mean it that way?

But one look at his phone sent her heart plummeting. The front screen was a picture of Y/n, Zeke, Carla and Eren at an amusement park. Although Zeke didn’t give him the same frostiness as Carla, Hannah sensed there was something. His conversations with her were short and brief. She had the impression that he was avoiding her. One day she had the urge to look through his Instagram. Scrolling through his account, she saw multiple pictures of Y/n. So he was close with her. Tears of frustration built up and Hannah tossed her phone.

Of course he liked her.

Everyone liked Y/n over her.

Grisha was always polite. Out of the three he seemed to be the only one who tried to maintain a friendly relationship. Maybe he didn’t like her. But if he was willing to be kind, then she would accept it. One night after a rather uncomfortable dinner with the Yeager family, Hannah went to bed. Eren went to sleep shortly afterwards. For Hannah it was a little harder. She could feel the animosity. Even after Zeke had left and the parents retreated to their room, she was still awake. Soon her bladder started to hurt and she got up. Quiet as a mouse she tiptoed down the hall.

That was when she heard voices. Hannah slipped into the shadows as Carla and Grisha’s voices peeped out from between the cracks.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t stand her. “ Carla’s exhausted voice sighed. Hannah thought she knew who “her” was. She inched closer.

“I know you like Y/n better but-”

“No you don’t! This girl basically backstabbed her friend. Look, I understand that who Eren is with isn’t up to us. What Hannah did is baseline treachery.“ Hannah’s stomach clenched.

How was it baseline treachery when their relationship was failing anyway? It was going to happen anyway.

“And so was yours when he cheated.” That nastly little voice hissed at the back of her mind. Suddenly that little twinge became an ache. Her emotions seemed to translate into physical pain. For Hannah found herself clutching her stomach.

“If Hannah’s to blame, then Eren’s just as much at fault. Haven’t you had a talk with him?” She heard Carla give a sniff.

“Let's talk about this in the morning.” The nights turned off and Hannah was plunged into the darkness.

Y/n was coming over again. There was more to discuss. Hannah looked at the pale girl in the mirror. Bags appeared like a bruise under brown eyes. Shoulder length blond hair that was usually in delicate curls now stuck out like spikes. Fingers shook with a cold sensation as she tried to regain composure.

Somehow this felt like the end. She wasn’t sure why, but with the way things were going it just felt that way. Nothing would be the same.

An odd occurrence happened that morning. Waking up with dread taking over, Hannah had the urge to call Biannca. She had sometimes done that when nervous. But as her fingers closed around the phone, she remembered that was no longer an option. Hannah had scrolled through her contacts that morning. She had other friends of course. But none of them have Hannah the same security that Y/n or Biannca had. Eren was sleeping beside her. She crawled over to him. Taking in every feature on his face.

Had it been worth it? To give up all that for him?

At the end of the day……

maybe not.

You were falling down that familiar dark hole. Every time you grabbed onto a thought it slipped through your fingers. Not strong enough to help you. This was worse than crying. Every part of you was frozen in time, unable to react. Maybe this was the end. Would it be easier to just give up here? The rest of your life would be spent in an agonizing limbo. You were curled in the sheets. Sheets that wrapped around you like a straightjacket.

Wanting to get up, but unable to. The heels of your palms went into your eyes. They were red from rubbing. It wasn’t from crying. You couldn't cry anymore.

Now it was 11:45 am. At 12 you would have to get ready. Zeke would be here at 12:30. You didn’t want to give up. A shaky sniff broke free. Your phone rang and with a grumble you sat up. Your eyes were slightly bleary from rubbing.

“Hello?” You were upset, and it showed.

“Y/n. It’s me. Can I come over?” It was Armin. For the first time since finding out this horrible new fixture in your life, there was light. Just to hear his voice again put you at ease.

Unfortunately, it could not last. Not with the meeting coming up.

“I’m sorry Armin. I have to meet up with the Yeagers.”

“Then I’ll come with you. Grisha called and asked that I come.”

“Really!” Suddenly you felt better. This meeting felt easier now. While Armin waited you quickly rushed to get ready. You dressed in a blue elbow length shirt and jeans.

“How are you feeling?” Armin asked. You couldn’t lie. And even if you did he would know.

“Not good.” His arm came around your waist. Tired, you leaned on him.

“I just want this all to end.” Armin seemed to slow down.

“Y/n….your aren’t thinking of-”

“No. I just wish this had all never happened.” Footsteps stopped. Armin was looking back at your figure, quivering in the cold hallway light.

“I wished I had never met him. You know what, that goes for Hannah as well! These two have done nothing but ruin my life.” Your hands came up. Fingers clutching at your face. It was all you could do to keep from falling apart. To lose your find here and now. You wanted out of this horrible nightmare. But no amount of pinching could break the image of a woman withering before her time, drowning in a sea of regrets.

Breathing was starting to become hard.

And then hands peeled yours away. You could feel his warm hands. Cold ones lying limply in his.

“Y/n, you can't turn back time. So what can you do?”

“What?”

“What can you do?”

“I- Armin what are you trying to say?”

“Look. What's happened has happened……” Armin fell silent. His mouth opened in a horrified gape at what he had just said.

“I just have to move forward. I know what you mean.” You didn’t feel angry at him. Maybe if all your energies were not wasted on Eren and Hannah. But he was right. You needed to keep moving forward. The past was past. You needed to look to the future.

Your hands came up, this time on Armin’s face. A very faint blush appeared.

“I promise I will look to the future, Armin.”

The car trip was mostly Zeke and Armin chatting. You didn’t mind. Your thoughts needed to sort themselves anyway. Armin was right. There was no point in dwelling on the past. Eren and Hannah were as they were. You needed to find a way to create a system for your child and yourself. Never, you swore, never, would this child suffer as you had. Your child would not grow up neglected as theory half siblings lived in a happy family at their expense. At this meeting you would see to it.

“Your mother hates me and you know it!” Eren’s head throbbed painfully and Hannah’s early morning shrieking wasn’t making it better. He really wasn’t in the mood for this.

“And every night she talks about me-”

Her voice became choked. Once, Eren would have immediately tried to help her. It’s what he had been known for. Protecting his friends.

Apathy. That was all he could feel. Apathy was not a word anyone would use to describe Eren. But it was what he felt.

Hannah’s tears. Or when he left Y/n. A pain shot through his heart. Apathy was not what he felt towards Y/n anymore. Just pain. The past month and a half had felt like a bad dream. Even the happy parts seemed to bring nausea to this throat.

“Are you even listening to me?” Hannah’s angry face appeared before his.

“Just shut up!” Eren’s voice was like a wrecking ball. Hannah, who’s face had been right in front of his, jerked back. Eren stormed out and walked into the backroom. Eren’s back hit the door.

This was insane. Like he had fallen into some sick messed up dream. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. Broken relationships and shattered memories.

And it didn’t help that he could feel Hannah’s fists slamming against the door.

The scene Zeke, Armin and you walked in on was chaos. Grisha was running in the direction of a screaming match between Hannah and Eren. Your mouth fell open at the sight of two former confidants just slinging profanities at one another. Hannah’s hands had fastened themselves on Eren’s collar. Eren’s left hand clung to her wrist. Their voices could be distinguished amongst the chaos. When Grisha tried to get between them you thought it was best to step in. You helped Grisha pry the two apart. Grisha handled Hannah while you dealt with Eren. Pushing against his chest. For one moment, green met e/c and the two of you were looking into the depths of each other's souls. His where a light green, pupils blows. But you quickly broke the spell.

“Stop this right now or-” Only now did you realize how close the two of you were. Faster than if they’d been burned. You turned to Grisha holding a fuming Hannah. Zeke and Armin remained motionless, unsure of what to do.

“Let's just go to the kitchen.” You lead the charge, the rest following in your wake. Grisha and Zeke were talking in low voices. Not that you could hear.

Eren and Hannah’s conversation, on the other hand, could be clearly heard.

“You fucking two faced-”

“Maybe if you kept your mouth shut-” Carla was sitting at the kitchen table, head in hands. Realizing something was wrong, you immediately rushed to her side. The scarf around Carla’s head shielded most of her face.

“Carla, what happened?” She raised a tear stained face.

“Oh, it’s nothing dear. Why don’t you sit down?” She stood up but you placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. I think we just need to have this meeting. You wanted to pursue this issue. However Carla had the right to choose. So you stepped back

“I’ll make some tea.” Everyone sat down, except you. It was quiet as a graveyard. The only noises were chinking glass and a kettle whistling. You set the glasses down, seven in all.

You noticed Hannah and Eren were at opposite ends. Eren was glaring while Hannah resolutely staired elsewhere. The only seat left was, unfortunately, beside Eren. But at least there was also Armin. You felt his hand give your thigh a squeeze. To remind you he was by your side.

“So your appointment is next week?” Carla asked.

“Yes. Eren can come.” Carla looked surprised. Heck, everyone did. But it was a practical, not an emotional decision. If you were to have the backing of this family, you needed them on your side. Especially if Hannah had a child with him and yours was put to the wayside. It deserved better, and frankly so did you.

“I should come too.” Hannah's voice was as pleasant as nails against a chalkboard.

“No. I don’t think you will.” You voice was just as unpleasant as hers, only more cold.

“In case you have forgotten, I am his-”

“You are not this baby's anything. This baby is mine and Eren’s. This is a matter between me and Eren.” Grisha looked ready to pass out. Zeke leaned back. Carla’s fists clenched and Eren’s hand went to his mouth.

Then the explosion hit. The chair Hannah was sitting on scratched the table as Hannah leapt to her feet.

“Stop it!” She hissed. You simply looked up at her, coolly. And a nastly little smile made its way onto your face.

“You know, I’m not even sure why you’re here. Actually, I would prefer you to leave.”

Before you could even raise a finger, Hannah acted first.

SMACK!

Her palm came across so hard that you tumbled into Armin. Cups shattered as the force brought them crashing down. Zeke shot up with a bellow as hot tea splashed his chest. Grisha was knocked completely off his and fell to the floor. Carla lurched painfully onto her elbows. You would have hit the ground if it weren’t for Armin. Both of you fell. Your head fell against his chest and hot blood dripped down. Armin’s nose was bleeding, probably from your head hitting his nose.

“Sorry!” You grabbed a piece of kleenex and held it to his nose. All around there was chaos. Zeke was helding a stunned Grisha to his feet. Eren was comforting Carla. Then he stood up, now at full height. Breath was sucked from the room, all attention to Eren. Eren had looked at you with little affection these past few months. But never had he looked at you as he did her. There was how he would look at you. Uncaring.

But the look he gave Hannah was hateful.

“Hannah…….” He stopped, choked by anger. Armin’s grip around you tightened.

“We’re over. Now get out.” The breath he let out was her final release.

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maddys-nerd-blog · 8 months

Text

Hey!! Happy almost Halloween!!

To give you guys a treat I decided to share another snippet of the sequel to my AU, this time it’s a dramatic piece!

So here’s another draft for Familia: Through Space and Time!

Click-chk! Whrrr

Click-chk-chk-chk-chk-

The gears rotating in the open panel of her phantom hand kept catching on a loose piece of wire that acted as a vein. Every time it spun, it snagged the bright red tubing and rubbed it between the teeth of the machinery keeping the arm functioning. This time it had stayed stuck, refusing to budge even as she poked as prodded at the faulty piece of gadgetry. Left to it’s devices for long enough the potential risk of blood backing up into the ports and clogging an artery presented itself.

At the moment, Katie could give less of a fuck. She’d all but run out of fucks to give.

Nothing could keep her calm. Hiding out in the hull where the Fusion Core kept the space fully alight with its orange-red glow, she couldn’t face everyone else like this. No drop of whiskey was strong enough to stamp out the kindling flames of anger that simmered deep down inside of her chest. She couldn’t afford to get plastered— not when they were finally in reach of saving Earth. But at what cost?

Honeycutt had lied. He’d lied to them all.

He’d deceived her— smiled in her face and prattled about how good of a mother she was, how brave she’d been, how her efforts weren’t going to be in vain. Yet at the center of all that love bombing was a weasely hunk of junk that had sold out to the Krang for the sake of old fashioned greed. Entropy won.

Entropy always won. Money talks, and it had sung its sickly serenade into his ear and he’d willingly given Mozar a doomsday device for cold hard cash.

The fucker preached non-violence but when faced with the truth, he ran. She wouldn’t be shocked if he bailed on them once they got to Earth. Probably fuck off back to space to play hero with another group of unfortunate civilians caught in his crossfire.

All of this was his fault. Everything was his fault.

The loss of trillions of lives… countless planets, families, children… all dead. He had the blood of innocents on his hands all because of MONEY.

Chk-chkchkchkchkchk-

The wire split. Blood trickled in thin ribbons along the curves of her wrist. It spilled out of the ports and gears, the broken tube gushing endlessly.

She couldn’t even feel it. There was no pain in this arm. The arm he’d specially put together for her.

It felt grotesque to have this. A betrayal.

Ripping the damaged tube out of her wrist, the gears spit blood back out at her shirt, staining the grey garment with dark red droplets. Her fingers twitched, fizzling for a moment, before the complicated circuitry righted itself as though nothing was amiss. It made her sick.

Was she just like him now? Unable to feel? Unable to bare pain? How could she possibly still accept this arm when the thing that created it had been responsible for genocide? Yes, he didn’t do it by his own hand, but he was still the catalyst for the destruction of Earth. He’d been the Krang’s trigger when they fired the bullet that had signaled the Triceratons. It was still his creation, his carelessness, his own two hands that had built not only the black hole generator, but the foundation of the war he’d needlessly dragged them all into.

Katie smashed her fist into the floor. A resounding crash echoed within the engine room, a small dent created beneath her knuckles. Even with the strength applied strength behind her punch the skin didn’t break. It didn’t scrape. It didn’t even tear.

It started to tremble.

Anger spiked. With lightening speed Katie grabbed the first thing she could get her hands on— a screwdriver— and with a powerful swing of her arm she chucked it far off into the darkness, watching it fall down, down, down, until a faintly audibly clink echoed.

She didn’t care.

Off on the left side of the room, Katie heard the doors swish open, alerting her to the presence of someone new. But judging by the hard clacking of metal clicking against the catwalk, she knew who had paid her a visit.

“Miss McAndrews?” Called the tinny voice of Honeycutt. Katie struggled to stop herself from outright cussing at him.

His footsteps drew nearer, coming to a halt once he was well within the six-foot distance. Minutes passed without so much as a word being uttered. Only the tremor of the core itself as it hummed aloud resonated throughout the chamber, its warmth creating needle-like prickles across her bare arms. She didn’t give him the dignity of a greeting. He didn’t deserve one.

“Miss McAndrews,” Honeycutt took a tentative step forward, before he paused. “… you may not wish to speak with me. You are fully within your rights not to. I understand that I may have cause you grief—“

That was one way to put it.

“— but you also must understand that I was a different man, then. Compassion, empathy, morality; those were the least of my concerns when I was flesh and blood. All that concerned me was my research, my work, my legacy… my ego.”

Katie grit her teeth, tightening her hands around her biceps. Well that was accurate.

“When the Krang took my generator I never would have conceived they would have wanted to use it for such a purpose. My heart wasn’t in the right place, what more can I say?! I’ve made amends! I’ve changed! All I want is to rectify my mistakes!”

Oh. Oh, FUCK NO.

“MISTAKE?!” She roared— actually roared— bellowing at the top of her lungs, loud enough to be heard even from planets away. She jumped to her feet, her chest heavy as all patience jumped off a cliff and reason took a backseat. The gloves were off. He wanted to play this game? Katie was going to dominate. “Mistake? Oh! I didn’t know that’s what we were calling it nowadays! A mistake is when you go to fucking Walmart and you forget to pick up the milk. A mistake is when you mix your colors with your whites in the laundry. NOT HANDING OVER A DEATH MACHINE TO ALIEN DICTATORS.” She advanced, slow, punctuating every word with a thick tone of poison lacing her tongue behind every syllable. “You’ve made amends? BULLSHIT. You’re trying to save face cuz you know you fucked up, and the only way you can do that now is to play make believe! Close your eyes and pray that your problems will be solved by FUCKING TEENAGERS!”

Honeycutt stumbled back as she jammed her finger into his chest accusingly. “If you were really such an altruist you wouldn’t have made that stupid thing! If you really cared about people you would have destroyed it the moment you realized what you did! YOU MADE A MISTAKE? LOOK IN THE MIRROR YOU FUCKING PRICK. How DARE you try to throw that shit in my face! You didn’t make a mistake! You’re just sorry nobody is gonna buy your excuses anymore!”

“I’m not trying to make excuses!” Honeycutt fired back, eyes narrowed angrily. “Haven’t my actions spoken louder than my words?! If I truly was as cruel as you thought, I wouldn’t have saved you or Mondo! Or the others! If I was that vile I would’ve abandoned you in the battle arenas! I know I haven’t been the most forthcoming, but I’ve tried to fix this ordeal! I’ve suffered for eons because of this!”

“Clearly not long enough if you’re willing to put children in jeopardy.” Honeycutt went dead silent under her furious glare. “Yeeeah, bet you coincidentally forgot that part! My boys have been through enough hell. You sat back and watched those babies march right into Mozar’s hands! When they took the ship and ransomed my sons, MY sons, you HID. You hid like a fucking COWARD.” Katie’s blood curdled in silent rage. “They almost died and you were more concerned about your precious space ship! The only reason you picked my sorry ass to be your hero of the month is cuz those poor turtles back on Earth died with their goddamn father, and I was stupid enough to fall for your ‘I’m a poor scientist who’s misunderstood’ spiel!”

Honeycutt, who it appeared had finally lost his patience, started barking back. “As if you’re a prize!? You foolishly ran head first into the Triceraton cruisers after I begged you not to! Interrogating an enforcer from Lord Dregg’s fleet, which led him straight to us! Flirting and flouncing with Zeno-“

“Shut up. Shut your mouth.”

“Absolutely not! You know I’m right! You’ve put all of us in countless dangers numerous times! Thinking you must prove yourself to everyone because you’ve failed in retrieving the generator pieces! I’m convinced you’re doing this just for fun! You think this is a game, don’t you?!”

“I never saw this as a game you FUCKING BASTARD. All I did was what you told me to do!”

“Then prove it! Prove it! Dancing with bounty hunters?! Sharing drinks with shady criminals, even though you tout your badge like a cowboy waving his pistol around! You claim you love your sons but you’ve—“

“DON’T.” Katie got dangerously close to his face. Teeth bared like a wolf preparing to take bite out of him, the woman hissed out a warning. “Do. Not. Go there.”

“Or what? You’ll lose your temper? Like you haven’t done that enough.” Honeycutt sniped, stepping back from the woman. “You put yourself over their needs every opportunity you got. So you can galant across the galaxy—“

“You shut your fucking mouth.” Katie’s voice got low, sounding closer to a growl that rumbled in her throat. Murder was written across her fiercely emerald eyes. “I put myself over my kids? Never in a million years. Those kids are my entire reason to stay alive. Let me ask, since you think you know me so well; where were you when Donnie had a mental breakdown and needed to be held so he wouldn’t hurt himself? Hmm? Or when Leo wakes up screaming in the middle of the night because of what he’s seen and needs me to constantly tell him he’s not dying or a failure of a son? Have you ever taken the time to sit with Mondo? Talk to him about skateboarding? Or Casey? Have you helped him fix his gear? Talked to him about hockey or sports?”

Honeycutt went silent.

“Or what about Raph? The ‘raging storm’? The problem child? The one YOU said should be barred from training because he was unhinged?! And what about when you belittled Donnie, told him he wasn’t going to be as smart as you?! As if your intellect has been anything to scoff at, Mister ‘Let me sell a bomb to the fucking Krang’! Or when you said Leo was beyond help?! Leaving Zeno to die?!”

Honeycutt looked down at the floor, robotic eyes blank. “… I haven’t always been the most observant—“

“YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT, FUGITOID!”

Her scream reverberated, echoes shaking the walls, rattling off the pipes to forever ingrain it’s mighty statement into its corridors for all eternity. Not even granting him the curtesy of using his real name, he’d lost that an hour ago. All she could see now was the monster who’d started this bloodshed. She towered over him, the sickly orange-red hue of the core casting a vicious shadow upon the two, shadowing the android and basking him in the blood red that haunted his past.

“Those boys are my entire universe. I died for them twice. I sacrificed all I had in me just to get them home. For a year and a half, they gave me a purpose to live. You have zero idea just how important those kids are to me.” Katie stepped away from the robot, disgusted. “How dare you try and tell me I don’t care for my boys, when you could care less about them until it benefits you. If Grace wasn’t here I’d throw you out the airlock… but I don’t want her to think I’ve sunk as low as you. There are bigger things for us to worry about.”

Honeycutt remained still as stone, his body frozen beneath her hurtful words. Was it possible for him to feel things such as shame? Guilt? Remorse?

Finally fed up, Katie shook her head with aggravation, throwing her hands into the air to let them drop at her hips once more. “I’m done.” She spat. “After we save the Earth, consider me dead and buried. I’m not your errand girl, and I refuse to let you keep dragging my boys into no man’s land.” Turning on her heel to leave the woman stormed towards the exit, her hands still shaking at her sides. But she gave pause once the doors swung open when she heard Honeycutt utter something, painfully quiet.

“For what it’s worth… I am truly sorry for what I have put you all through.” Though he still wasn’t looking at her, his tone indicated grief. “All I want is to make things right.”

Too late for that, she bitterly thought. If he had wanted to fix things, he would have done it years ago. Glaring back over her shoulder, Katie regarded him with resentment. “You say you wanna do the right thing?” She challenged. “Then get the fuck out of our lives, and stay gone.”

She left without another word, abandoning the Fugitoid with her lingering words and a plethora of regret.

*****************

When she returned to the lounge, she half expected to find a room full of anxious kids and worried warriors— or in Tiger Claw’s case, stoic neutrality— but the room was uncharacteristically quiet. No jokes, no movies, no games. Just silence that blanketed the environment. Although given the recent change of events, she doubted anybody would be up for doing anything. The lights had been dimmed, a soft glow coating the chamber with a gentler, calmer mood.

It wasn’t hard to locate the others. Grace had fallen asleep nearby, settled in the corner of the room with Usagi. It was no surprise that the two would forsake their comfort to prioritize the wellbeing of the children. Tiger Claw had secluded himself to the other side of the room, arms crossed over his chest, ears twitching slightly as if still picking up signs of movement whilst he slept. There was no sign of Zeno— maybe the closeness of new people was beginning to wear him down after decades of being a hardened gladiator for bloody sport.

Finding her kids was far easier than she thought. All of them were sleeping soundly, huddled together for warmth underneath the lightweight blankets. Despite his arm being slung in a cast, Raph looked comfortable in the presence of his fellow teammates, snoring quietly under his breath. Curled up at his side Mondo’s head rested upon the top of his leg, swollen fingers still holding tight to her police badge. It would have warmed the aching pain of her heart had it not been for the stress. Leo and Donnie, sandwiched together like sardines, looked at peace resting at each other’s sides; it was evident that Donnie had grown close to the slider in their time being surrogate brothers, and Leo was just as protective of the younger box turtle. Donnie’s glasses were sitting on top of his forehead, askew, while Leo’s mask hung around his neck like a loose scarf. Casey, while taking up the bottom right side of the couch, had rested his head atop Raph’s uninjured shoulder, missing the ragged bandana and his sneakers, but was finally able to rest.

What did the universe have against these kids? She couldn’t help but think. Why did they have to go through all of this unnecessary stress? Why were these poor boys forced to save the world? It wasn’t as if they asked to be vigilantes, to be mistreated by society, to be born as mutants. Why was it that, when they found a fraction of peace, it was ripped away from them no matter how hard they fought, how much they bled, how much they sacrificed to keep their worlds and families from destruction?

Why was it that it was these kids that had to deal with this eternal bullshit?!

Why couldn’t any external force step in?! Intervene on their behalf?! Why couldn’t any able-bodied group of soldiers deal with the Shredder?! Why not the FBI?! It wasn’t fair to these kids! They were TEENAGERS! Teenagers should be going out, causing mischief, loitering in arcades for hours, staying out past curfew and doing stupid stuff that being a teen allowed! Not getting kidnapped, beaten, manhandled, or abused by the hands of sick individuals who only sought to tear them to pieces.

Having to watch them go through this week after week… this was a special kind of torment reserved only for sadists.

She lowered herself to sit in front of the couch where her kids rested, staying silent. Taking in all the permanent markers that would remain a part of their beings forever, scars that would bring nothing but terror and grief every time they looked upon them. Raph’s healing arm. Donnie’s lacerated ankles. Leo’s shell, spiderwebbed with thin cracks. Casey’s fractured ribs. Mondo baring a grizzly cut near his neck…

Without thinking her hand reached towards Mondo’s head. Fingers came to rest between his eyes, scratching the skin, brushing her thumb across the small bumps of the spots that speckled his brow. Familiar gestures of comfort to help stave off bad dreams or migraines, or to simply go to sleep faster. Unconsciously the gecko’s tail started to wag ever so slightly, tapping against the cushioning.

Had these injuries gone further… had she not been able to get to them in time…

If Raph had still been crushed under Zanramon’s foot…

If Casey had been rammed into the dirt any harder…

If Donnie had still been locked in the electromagnetic shackles…

If Leo was still floating aimlessly with a ravenous murdering alien…

If Mozar had cut Mondo’s neck deeper…

She didn’t know when she started crying, but soon her world began to blur into a hazy fuzz, eyesight burning like hell. Sobs choked behind her gritted teeth, the gut-wrenching pain striking hard and fast deep in the depths of her gut. Finally, months of pent of frustration drove her to a breaking point, crumbling down to bits, the turmoil shattering her. Burying her face in her arms she wept, trying to keep the noise to a minimum as to not upset or stir her slumbering mutant sons. How many more close calls would there be? How many more times could they go through this? How much longer would they still be able to stand and fight before one of them was killed? Fighting an endless battle nobody else wanted to deal with.

These were children. These were her babies. How could anyone let them do this?

“Mom…?”

A voice— hoarse, groggy from sleep— caught her attention, bringing her out of her depressed stupor. Half expecting to find Mondo’s bright yellow orbs staring into her soul like a puppy. But when she blinked her eyes open, she found him still asleep. Instead, when she lifted her gaze, Katie found the half-lidded eyes of Leo looking back. He was sitting slightly up, Donnie’s head falling to rest on his shoulder, but the expression was clear as day; concern.

But that wasn’t what had caught Katie off guard.

Leo— the red slider, the comedian, the kid who fought harder than anyone to help, the kid who desperately wanted to prove himself, the kid who, against everything, was scared of being alone— had just called her ‘mom’ for the first time.

“Mom?” Leo chirped quietly again, clearing his throat. “Was’ up?”

Taken aback slightly, Katie had to gather her thoughts. Wiping her face of tears to see straight, she shook her head. No. No, do NOT breakdown. Not like this. “Nothin’, mijo. Just… having a shitty day.”

Leo hummed. Sniffling, he nodded in understanding. “I feel that,” he jested softly. Tilting his head towards the still sleeping Mondo, he continued, “Jay’s been talking about Earth for hours. Tellin’ us about kinds of skateboarding tricks he wants me to try out.” He cracked the tiniest of smirks. “Can we grab pizza when we get there?”

Such an innocent question coming from the teen who had endured enough torture to last the rest of his life almost made her fall to pieces. It took every fiber of her being to resist the urge to grab the red slider, pull him into a crushing embrace and cry until they reached their destination. It was even harder to maintain the facade of cool headedness before her kid. It would be selfish if she woke everyone up over some petty anger she felt for Fugitoid.

Instead she forced a smile. Reaching a hand up she cupped the turtle’s face within her palm— scarred beyond belief, weathered, calloused, trained in firearms but never maternal care. “Of course, hon,” she swore. “We can get as many as you want.”

Leo, whether it be from delirium or exhaustion, giggled. “Far out.” He leaned his face into her hold, completely at ease in the presence of the woman who’d taken him under her wing, like a child being comforted by their parent. “Thanks, Mom.”

Some tender part of her subconscious ached. Hearing Leo call her ‘mom’ for the first time reminded her of why she was doing this. What this was really about. What she was doing all this for. “No need to thank me Lee. I’ll always be around.”

Leo sleepily blinked at her, as if fighting to remain awake. “Promise…?”

“On my life, mijo. Mientras respire, siempre estaré aquí,” she stroked his cheek, full of love and care, offering affection to this poor child that had been through enough. “Try getting some sleep. I’ll wake you guys in the morning.”

Leo mumbled something incoherent under his breath, nuzzling his cheek in her palm. “M’kay,” he yawned, snuggling under the blanket he shared with Donnie to get warm. Slipping droopy eyelids closed the slider added, “Love you Mom…” before he fell back to sleep, breathing evening out to a gentle whistle.

“Yo también te amo, cariño,” she whispered. Brushing her hand atop the base of his head she repeated in the silence. “Love you too…”

If one listened closely, they could hear the sound of her heart thudding painfully with gratitude.

Fugitoid was woefully wrong about her. She would never trade the experiences with the boys for anything, not even a way back home. Not at their expense. There were thousands of things she’d gotten wrong in her life, but taking care of these kids wasn’t one of them. They made her proud every single day with all their achievements. They were the one good thing that kept her going when all seemed hopeless.

They were her familia… her home.

And she couldn’t fail them here, not when they were so close to the finish line. Just one more push, then it’s over. One more hurdle and we’re home.

She gently brushed her hand across Leo’s forehead one more time before leaning up to press a kiss upon his brow. She repeated the same gesture to Donnie, to Raph, to Casey, then Mondo. “I promise I’m not going anywhere,” murmuring under her breath, Katie spoke into the silence in hopes that her boys could somehow hear her. “Nothing is ever gonna separate us.”

Hope you liked this one!! 😁

@queen-with-the-quill @tending-the-hearth @lameboobah @figuringitoutasigoalong

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt fanfiction #tmnt au #familia: through space and time #tmnt oc #tmnt 2012 #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #mutant mayhem #tmnt 2007 #tmnt mondo gecko #mm donnie #rottmnt leo #tmnt raphael #tmnt fugitoid #I’m sorry in advance to any Honeycutt fans #tmnt 2012 casey jones

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emerywritesstuff · 5 months

Text

Mondo owada x his gang members

Warning/notice: Bondage, smut, gang bang, death, angst, and I changed the backstory of some characters, so it's not completely canon, just a little accurate, spoilers to game "danganronpa"

Plot: Mondo receives his punishment by the members after they find out that he is the cause of his brother's death while him and Daiya were racing because of a challange to prove Mondo's worth of taking over Daiya's place as the leader.

Enjoy~

“Are you ready to start, my young brother?

“Always ready as a man!”

Mondo exclaimed with a bright smile ready to show the people of the bicycle gang that they could put their trust in him and that he was a guy who was worth taking over The Crazy Diamonds–the most famous bicycle gang in Japan, therefore he wanted to prove that by challenging his brother.

They stand on a big mountain, their eyes falling on the huge height from where they are, but because Mondo is known or well thinks of himself as brave, he doesn't flinch or back away. He kept his legs straight and strong with a hint of excitement on his face for Daiya to make a move with his bike.

“The road..” Daiya said to himself, his eyes blinking twice.

Mondo smirked.

“Hm? Worried? Doesn't sound like you-”

As a response to the mockery, Daiya chuckles–an expression full of satire.

“No worries, just counting how many times I am gonna win.”

Mondo tilts his head, his smile fading.

“There’s only one way to find out.”

His grip tightened on the handle of his motorcycle, sending a spike of bliss, his motorcycle moving slowly forward near the edge.

As soon as the surface lowered, his body was forcing through the wind–their cycle streaming on the thin route. Mondo couldn't help but feel nostalgic with his brother beside him as the good ol’ times that his mind wandered off, causing him to lose focus over his control.

Daiya immediately took custody by driving near Mondo-who panicked over his bike taking off the wrong path.

He locked his eyes, his heartbeat increasing, the passage cutting off until he got pushed away, misleading the official direction.

“Brother…?”

His pupils clenching, his body hovering over the sight of his brother shut down on the floor after he fled from the rim to save his one and only brother.

“No, no, no..” his eyes that showed pride now corrupted in tears–spiteful ones towards himself and melancholic ones as a result of his dead brother. His steps abruptly followed upfront, Mondo holding onto his savior, shaking, crying…falling with emotions outrunning his thoughts.

“W-what do I do, w-what will I say—” he couldn't admit his faults, his brother’s last wish was for him to be the leader and as it was said, a true man always keeps his promises like Daiya did-an inspiration for his little brother.

After a successful attempt to hide the body by digging a hole and burying the corpse inside, there was so much guilt stored in his mind, so much he wished it was him that died so he didn’t have to deal with the intensity of his downfall.

“So how did it go?”

His body shivered taking a turn to meet the voice, his mouth locked not being able to form the words to lie straight to the crew that he was supposed to display his loyalty to.

“I won.”

2 days later

Mondo still felt terror after what happened, but he had to act okay for the sake of his promise to be the leader of this group.

He was doing paperwork in his office, being the boss he is of The Crazy Diamonds. The walls were filled with all kinds of posters with achievements they accomplished together–in the newspapers, too.

Though all that victory meant nothing to him, the shame built in his mind as a parasite overtook it.

[Door click]

He looked up observing who came in and the ones in question were the men in his gang, they stepped in having an intimidating aroma.

“What do you need,” Mondo asked, lifting his eyebrow, curiosity showing.

“You know it would take at least a week before you are officially the leader and claim our faith in you.” one of the men replied-named Niko, a tall muscular man with black fluffy hair.

‘’Yet you are here in this office, acting like you claim this all.” Hiro-dark skinned man with long hair, puffy and Black as well towered over him standing near the office table watching Mondo annoyed.

“Ye, and where is Daiya, we haven't seen him in days!” Jiro joined, tone loud and clear, his ginger shining hair as a result of him standing out from the crowd.

Mondo sighed, rubbing his forehead already driven mad from the first disturbance. He abruptly stood up from his chair and stepped forward to Niko, with a swift move pulled him by the t-shirt.

“Listen here, I am worthy of taking this crowd, I am strong and can take any challenge so why are you three so fucking against the idea.” He yelled out, anger getting the best of him. “And Daiya left…He isn't coming back.” With that, he loosened his clench on one of his member's t-shirts.

Niko chortled, not terrified by Mondo's outburst at all.

“What's so funny, is that you are testing my patience, hm?”

“Fine, you can prove it with one challenge and we will let you control this team.”

Mondo's expression slightly softened–confident smile returning.

“Sure, bring it on…And if I don't pass?”

“We won't place our belief in you as you haven't proven your true masculinity to join us.”

“Aaaand, you might have to do something for us!” Jiro jumped in again, being the bold hyperactive guy he is.

Mondo waved with his hand, full of himself “Yeah, yeah, yeah just get it over with.”

~~~

He and the gang pulled over to a strange forest–wind caressing the trees–his body shivered in the breeze. As they proceeded with their bikes forward, the road stopped at a certain place with a building up front.

“What's this?” Mondo asked.

Niko smirked-a filthy one on his face with a spice of wrong-doing, his body stood up from his engine, steps were causing crunching noises on the fallen leaves scattered around the road.

“Now, now~” He brushed his fingers against Mondo's chin, his body flinched by his silky touch yet a straight and tough expression remained still through this all.

“Don’t tell me you are scared, Mondo.”

His heartbeat sped up, spreading blood through his veins fast too, body warming up but what stopped and slowed down was his breathing, reacting to–Niko–the man that kept him in his knees with his hand caressing his chin, after to his jawline.

Mondo got rid of the grasl with a quick slap, causing Niko to put his hands in the air mockingly on behalf of his daring character.

“Let’s go in.”

~~~

So Mondo, by a click on the handle of the door to the warehouse, entered the centre as the first one, the dark empty place sending a chilly tender despite his layering.

As the rest followed behind him, Jiro found the light switch-brightness filling the room, causing the members to look around further.

It was not-so-empty, but there were a few boxes, some cogs, and overall useless and rusty scraps thrown across the floor.

It was clear no one went to this place for a long time and it's just abandoned in the middle of nowhere.

“I thought we would have a race or something-”

Before his full sentence was spoken, a rag of cloth tightened itself around his maw, causing him to cough out.

“Mmf” He muffled, a slurred speech letting itself out from his almost-shut lips.

His eyes widened in shock, his reach grabbing on whatever was holding him back from fully opening his lips, pulling by the fabric out, and then he realized.

“Pfft-”

He turned his head, watching Hiro furiously, angry, and even fearfully.

“Whth esh thsh?!” though his mouth was clogged with the cloth, he was still a little understood.

Hiro leaned closer.

“That's the challenge, now don't refuse if you want to show off that you are capable of what's about to come,” Hiro whispered, his rough breath tingling Mondo's ear–his straggling still trying to escape the grasp, The dark-skinned man rolling his eyes as a response.

“Why are you two staying behind? Help me out with this guy.” He hissed, his harsh personality resulted in the others quickly obeying, holding Mondo down–knees buried low on the ground. The fingers clenched hard onto his skin, leaving behind marks.

“Why esh thsh hhphnhningh?!” Some more slurred sounds served their ears, Hiro exhausted to explain, so with a jerk of his mane, he made Mondo stare up.

“Don’t worry little one, this is just a game to test your willpower.” an evil grin arose.

And so with that, Jiro pulled out some rope, which had quite a crusty fabric, later a metal ball and chain to keep Mondo’s legs in place. Niko nodded and followed with a hold of the rope as his hands crawled to Mondo’s wrist–behind crossed, tying the material around.

It didn't take much longer for him to attach the chain to his feet. Therefore, with just a click, it was hugging his ankles sticking them to the ground.

After their finished job to corrupt Mondo, they let go of him, taking their step back to look at their work, and with a smile one announced.

“So what do you think?”

Their watch remained on their future leader-the one staring back, his body shuffling weakly, the drool created by the clotheted wrap around the corner of his mouth, his resistance to speak or move his jaw smoothly, causing the drop to run out under his lips.

“Let me explain the rules, shall I?” Jiro broke the silence-leading his way towards him, placing a foreign object next to his face, still proceeding with his talk.

“if you click on this button by just pushing your face against it to go off before the time runs out, we will untie you, though you will lose the challenge…” He paused after his remark.

"But."

“If you don't, directing the time to run out without you doing so, then we shall give you your desired reward.” He patted his cheek with his soft hand, to which Mondo growled gritting his teeth.

“Ooh, feisty I like it.”

The members left the chamber by turning off the glow, the room back to its ravenous colours.

Mondo-stuck laying helplessly on the ground, watched the room disappear as only the darkness was with him, watching him.

Now, what was so scary about this for Mondo, you ask?

Nyctophobia.

His panting hitched, and he froze, as if–as if he was scared, Mondo was afraid, for the first time in his life, he felt the only emotion he never understood–it was unfamiliar to him and weak.

He knew he couldn't give in. He had to show his masculinity for the gang–his brother, but the fear of something jumping from the dark messed his thoughts up, paranoidly eating him.

[noise of a fallen object]

His head made its way up, using his neck muscles, gaze pinning on that sound, though he couldn't see a thing. His anxiety devoured its way to his dome, leaving the only option at this moment.

Give up. Give up. GIVE UP.

Paranoia screaming at him at the top of its lungs, finding its way to break him and render him unable to listen to his true voice.

The alarm went off when his phobia won over him, tumult growing.

“You couldn’t help yourself, could you?” Jiro and the others forged back in after a failed attempt.

One of them switched the lamp on, giving Mondo a sigh of relief, sweat oozing, his breath back to normal.

“And here I thought, you would be able to hold yourself longer.” His voice echoed. Mondo didn't take his orbs off him. Instead, he watched like a hawk, his expression still not recovered after what happened.

The aching sensation–being kept in the same position for so long because of the tight support attached to his frame to keep it still.

The fabric was removed from his mouth, letting him speak, but all he could let go of was his horrendous coughing. There was no threat, no nothing, just a desperation for air, his past lips planted shut.

“What do you want?” Mondo gave a clear question after his rally, knowing it was not only the employment he was gonna sacrifice.

Hiro with his usual expressionless profile followed up, tauntingly stepping forward.

“We found the body, Mondo. Stop playing.”

Mondo’s drag stopped his facial recognition tightening, muscles almost quivering after the words he never wished to hear were sent to him.

They watched each other—Mondo shocked, Hiro unsurprised, he knew it before they even dumped him here.

“Please forgive me, I never intended to-”

“Forgive you? Do you know what you di–”

“Hiro” Niko cut him off, making his way to pleading Mondo, who lay on the floor, unable to crawl his way out nor move. He knew what happened to the members after they appeared dishonest to their leaders, so he closed his eyes, ready for what was about to come.

Nothing happened.

After a moment of zilch, he opened up only to see Niko fixing his hair strands behind his ear. He couldn't understand why he was doing nothing yet.

“I know you didn't do it on purpose.”

A spark of hope appeared.

“But you gotta pay for your wrong-doing.”

His touch went down to his body, caressing his abs, making Mondo flinch with sensitivity. The smooth skin showed itself as a pure blessing to his fondle, so resolved for his ways to please him.

“What are you doing…” He let out a small whisper, catching Niko's attention back to him.

“You want forgiveness?”

Mondo nodded, a smug face appearing on Niko.

“Then give me your body.”

“What.”

“Mondo.” His brush made its way to his stomach, again Mondo shivering in weakness to his gentle caress. “You are such a beautiful man. It would be a shame not to have a taste of you.”

He leaned closer.

“But I won't continue without your approval.”

Mondo was confused at the moment, he couldn't understand what just happened, was him letting them have control over his body be the only option for him to keep his position for the sake of the promise for his own and only brother.

It's the least thing I could do for him after what happened

Mondo made his one last nod, allowing all of this to happen, which only gave Niko and the others joy from this, to the extent of excitement. Jiro put the fabric back to keep Mondo shut, which only caused him to muffle.

“Shh.” Jiro put his finger over his mouth signaling for Mondo to calm down.

“Relax.”

The three members made their way around Mondo, watching him like prey for their pleasure.

Hiro, the oldest of them, took his place in getting rid of the clothes, them going off with a plain movement while keeping his stare, Mondo's nervousness making him titter. The jacket was the first to pass, but not completely, his upper chest was vulnerable, making Mondo squint in pleasure, feeling the air graze his skin.

“Oh, don't look at me like that.” His tone is guilty, but his intentions are quite the opposite, satisfaction from the control he has over his endangered state.

While Hiro was on top of him, undressing his victim, Jiro decided to invite himself in, his palm placed on Mondo’s jaw, shoved off in the right direction, bewitching in pleasure by biting his neck down to his collarbone leaving behind hickeys.

Mondo couldn't remain his voice down, whimpers escaping and forming into swaddling sounds. This, of course, just made Jiro try harder, profiting in seeing a suffering Mondo on his knees.

And so Niko joined too, pinching his nipple and the other, placing gentle kisses like the person he is.

“Ahmh~” Mondo moaned from the intense weight on him, his body giving up on the fulfilment he always craved but never admitted to himself due to his manly nature.

“Your moans just help us keep going, you know,” Jiro whispered in his ear, giving a tickling sensation, which made him melt more, his sumbissive side taking its lead.

Hiro was finished with also pulling down Mondo’s pants, exposing his hard dignity that twitched with desire.

“You are so desperate, so unlike you Mondo, what changed?” Hiro teased him while mocking him slightly.

Mondo didn't respond, just waited for the hooks to explore him, his needs winning over him.

Hiro then obeyed his want, moving behind him while still keeping Mondo on his knees, fingers wrapped around both of his wrists–tightening–to keep them in place, his breath hot against his neck full of marks thanks to Jiro's lustful teeth.

“Jiro, don't exhaust him that much, we will need him for a long time,” Hiro replied to the bruised nape, Jiro snickering, proud of his masterpiece.

Jiro drove his kisses down the shoulder, leaving behind other traces.

Mondo gasped, his body warm–no, hot, burning yet it was not fever but the overwhelming rapture in his body, having its limit maybe crossing it already.

But what was already enough was just the beginning. His back arched in the heat of the moment as Hiro's big length pushed inside without a warning, the tightness clenching and twitching in the entry.

“Shit, you are so tight.” Hiro groaned, his moves quite disturbed and slow giving Mondo time to adjust to the new size.

Though Hiro considered to peek, checking up on him, later regretting it because of how Mondo was reacting, his member trembling, leaking precum, and his body in moisture–sweat running on effortlessly.

It drove him crazy.

So without a second thought, he built his way through, burying himself fully–it felt amazing, like a dream for Mondo, so Hiro started thrusting in and then out, later slamming right back with incredible strength to move as flat as a pancake in his entrance.

“Sh ghth~!”

“What's it, little whore? Good, you said.” Hiro purred, his teeth munching on his ear lobe as if this was not painful enough for Mondo already. Their skin slapped against each other creating erotic sounds as their blows mixed in the air.

Jiro smirked during his mark-making, he stopped with a follow-up to Hiro to distract him by kissing his strait to which Hiro replied with a wail, slowly they glimpsed at each other and their mouths met, pierced together not one to fight the urge to eat one out.

However, it was not enough to stop Hiro, as he kept his fast pace of pounding into Mondo forcefully and fairly. Mondo couldn't hold himself on his joints anymore, his legs abandoning him, But due to Hiro’s tight grip on the wrists, he kept him in place with a pull of the hair in the end, so Mondo whined even more to please Hiro’s ears.

Though Niko wanted to invest himself more, he went down to Mondo’s throbbing dick, his evil regard for it. His lips parted themselves to take it inside–the feel made Mondo heave, the curling hitch withdrawn from his throat.

Mondo felt heavy yet they made him feel easy–to lose control over himself, has he ever thought about this, not even–not even in his wildest dreams but it happened, yet all he wanted now was for it to never end, not until sunrise, until his own very death.

Hiro felt himself pulse, the fumble of longing to release what was about to come to consume him, his moves stiffly proceeding, unable to hold himself much longer.

“I–I am about to come, cupcake.” He murmured with a stutter at the start, his nails digging into the derm of his companion, it was a matter of time until he made his shot and he did, the feeble liniment stuffing itself, small drops departing themselves from his foyer.

Mondo rolled back his eyes, the physique of his–weakly oscillating and so-so calling it a day with a descent on the flooring. The taping material is already soaked from the frizzle, the spit trickling from his mandible down.

His belief of being able to rest and pause for a moment fled when he was again attracted back with a drag from Hiro, his–no their hungry glimpse simply insatiable.

“Oh, you thought it was over?”

#fanfics #fanfic #danganronpa #mondo owada #fiction #my writing #story #writeblr #smut

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bunnihearted · 6 months

Text

im still mad ._.

😭😭😭😭 fr im just so annoyed like i dont actually want my neighbors to die. they make me so angry and im irritable and it makes me feel better to make an offhand comment abt it that wont even make a difference to their lives. they will keep making noise everyday. they will go to work and they have friends and partners and they're living their lives w support and care and love. i sit in my room and rot all alone, going crazy by all the noise since my brain is so weak. in my experience, asking someone politely to consider the noise they're making only makes them agressive and vengeful (i.e they'll start making even more noise just to mess w u). the only thing i can do is to take my anger and express it in an agressive way in a space away from them. i have never killed anyone. i most likely never will (sorry but i cant promise i wouldnt kill a rapist, pedophile or animal abuser). i have never acted agressively or violently against my neighbors. if i heard they died i wouldnt celebrate (i would most likely just go 'oh that sucks :/' then go on abt my day bc even if u dont wanna admit it that's how most ppl would react). im not actively doing anything to cause them to die. i am not making plans that i want to carry out. all i do is make a comment born out of frustration and rage (bc honestly apartments shouldnt even be built to let noise thru) bc that's all i can do to channel my emotions.

"just bc they make noise" yeah bc i have to sit here every single fkn day and listen to every step they (3 apartment units) take. every cabinet they slam. every door they close. every chair they scrape against the floor. the guy next to me stands in his kitchen for hours some days, and i can hear him bang stuff in the sink. the ones in the apartment above him stand in their kitchen once in the morning and once in the afternoon and bangs smth (sounds like a hammer kinda) for 20 mins. in the middle of the night at 3 am when im trying to sleep they start making a noise that i can hear thru my earplugs so i cant sleep. the guy above me is drilling and hammering stuff regularly, which sounds like he's in the room next to me doing that. he also does smth that cause rhytmic bangs that can last for hours. they generate noise every single day. all throughout the day. im lucky if i can get 15 mins straight where it's quiet.

the thing is i've lived here for 25yrs. it's NEVER been this bad. one guy above me had a surround sound system and had it on high volume for an hour every morning but that was the only thing i heard. another neighbor next to me i could hear when they put away their clean dishes but i couldnt hear anything else. these apartments do not have "thin walls". sound does not easily slip thru. it does that when the inhabitants have no furniture and no decorations/stuff on the walls. and in combination with being heavy handed/heavy footed (some ppl are prone to clomping around while other ppl are light on their feet. some ppl use force to slam cabinets and doors instead of just closing them). ppl who live here recently are students, so they live here for a couple of years and therefore dont bother to get furniture. and that causes their apartments to let out all noise they make. ofc u can blame the architecture (again, buildings should be built to let thru noise). but i've never experienced this kind of noise from neighbors before, smth has changed lately). also bc of trauma im hypervigilant and my brain takes in and process everything in my surroundings. all of the constant bangs, stomps, and diverse noise makes my heart rate spike and makes me stressed, tense and angry. i have a high blood pressure bc of this. (plus theres noise everywhere constantly bc of construction outside so i never get to relax). my brain isnt healthy or normal when it comes to noise. that isnt my fault or smth i can control. it's also not smth therapy or medication can fix. my noise sensitivity makes me suicidal. and ofc thats no one's fault. my neighbors' are just living their lives, they dont care abt me and therefore they arent doing it with the intent to harm me

but im still in psychological agony bc of it. it's not their fault and thats why im not knocking on their doors and threatening to kill them if they dont shut up. but it's still driving me insane and thats why im venting abt my frustrations, expressing myself in a way that lightens my rage. for self preservation. 'wishing' death on someone actually isnt as straighforward as wanting it to happen. or making it happen. or being happy if it happened. if they died someone else would just move in and continue the noise. but in the moment it makes me feel better so i will say it. ppl have genuinely wished death upon ppl for way less. hell, ppl are out there killing other ppl for bs! women are being chopped up and buried in pieces by the men they thought loved them. yet i am a horrible monster for venting my frustrations without actually intentionally irrepairably hurting someone?

anyway humans are making so much uneccesaary noise every day all the time. sm noise that dont need to exist. it wouldnt have to if society was better. i mean, the noise of fireworks kills millions of animals every year. noise can have a psychological and physical affect on many many ppl. you are lucky and fortunate if noise doesnt affect you. but ppl whose brains arent wired like you exist. and it is we who have to live in a world that is constructed to cause us harm every single day. i am allowed to be angry bc this is what my life is gonna be like every single day. i am allowed to vent in a way that is personally uncomfortable to you, bc it will never change and i know it never will. i am never gonna kill anyone bc they make noise. but that co exists w the fact that there's a lot of noise that humans make that is completely unessecary, but no one cares bc most ppl are normal and they dont care abt what ppl with sensory issues have to go thru.

im also allowed to vent abt my emotions in a way that is uncomfortable to u. maybe thats too much for u, and thats valid. but you need to recognize that you should just go hmm that's not it for me, and then move on and be on your way. it's condescending and arrogant to force ppl to only express themselves in a way you personally approve of. you and i may not value things the same, and therefore there's no reason for us to co exist in the same space. it might be "just noise" to you, but to me noise is excrutiating and affects me so deeply it gives me suicidal and homicidal emotions as well as physical stress responses that take a toll on my physical health.

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