#not once have i ever felt with a single individual that i should

[weenhands]

i’ll never find true safety with someone. there’s always some reason to keep my walls up

#not once have i ever felt with a single individual that i should #wholeheartedly be myself and that it’s safe to share things or express myself naturally #i feel so incredibly alone lately and more than ever in awhile #and while it no longer effects me on an emotional level #i’m very very numb to that feeling #i just think it’s kind of sad to observe #vent

[honeesucker]

Part 8 -

Pairing: ProHero!DynaMight | Katsuki Bakugo x Puppygirl!Reader

Word count: 3,259

Series Content Warnings: Little bit of a slow start… Graphic Depictions of Past Abuse & Trauma Response | Profuse Usage of Pet Names / All-around Softness | Bakugo Experienced Work-Related Trauma (causing near deafness, being put on leave from the agency, PTSD) | Eventual smut™ (will be tagged in individual chapters - to include but not limited to KiriBaku, HybridxHybrid, Hybrid heat trope, sex toy usage).

Chapter Content Warnings: Bakugo x reader sex, dirty talk, "just the tip" late-night quickie.

*Not proofread.

Previous | Next (In Progress)

Bakugo had gotten you back to the apartment, the car ride weighed down in silence; Kirishima opting to leave after he walked you both up, knowing this was a moment he shouldn't intrude upon but promising again to come and have a movie night with you soon.  

You were sitting on the couch, in the same spot Kirishima had set you down. Your eyes unfocused, vision blurring as you blink slowly, staring at nothing as your body buzzes with... something.  

Fear? Disgust? Disappointment?  

You couldn't ascertain which one it was, or if it was all of them at once, all you knew is that you didn't hear Bakugo speaking, just a mumbled white noise of sound until he was sitting next to you on the couch, pulling you into his lap as he nosed as your temple and whispered in your ear. 

"Talk to me, Pup," he said softly. His deep, low baritone reverberating through your body like a pleasant hum. 

"I-I..." you tried to start a thought, but all words failed you. Nothing seemed fitting enough to express exactly what you felt. "I-I... think... I-I'm s-sad." You stuttered through the words softly, your eyes closing as the unfocused blur of your vision became dizzying. Bakugo's arms tightened around you, compressing your arms to your side like what you did to him before - deep compression therapy. He held you like this for the longest time, but a glance at the clock only showed just under an hour had passed. 

"I know sad doesn't quite cut what I'm sure you're feeling, but we prepared for this, yeah?" Bakugo said softly. "You'll keep seeing Hana, but let's go every week instead of every other week. I've already got the restraining order filed with Hana’s help, and we should be receiving the official document soon... and we have each other. You're safe. I will never let that scumbag, or any other bastard ever lay a single finger on you, okay?" Bakugo jostled your body gently, coaxing a response from you as your mind wandered.  

You just nodded, a soft 'okay' leaving your lips as you melted back into his encompassing hold.  

You trusted Bakugo, you knew he meant what he said, and never added in any fluffy extra wording, or beat around the bush... if he said you were safe, that no one would touch you again, he meant it. 

Yet you couldn't stop the worry eating at the back of your mind. Bakugo was strong, and powerful and fearsome, but so was he, and if he still had half the contacts he had before he went to prison, he was still just as dangerous... but would he really come after you? You did try to keep him in prison with your appeal at his probationary hearing... and he was one to hold a grudge until he got even - you had seen it countless times with the people who worked for him, entered deals with him, tried to get one over on him.  

He always won in the end. 

"Hey, stop that." You heard Bakugo's stern, comforting tone. You blinked the frightening visions away from your mind as you looked up at him, a question in your gaze that he answered. "Stop thinking of the worst-case scenarios, get out of your head, Pup... no matter what happens, I have you. Okay?" Bakugo had a strange way of being stern, strict and intimidating but also soft and composed, the surety in his voice a calming center as he stared down at you with harsh, dominating eyes. Determination and confidence oozing from him. "He won't ever lay a finger on you again, Pup," he finished again with a hardened resolve. 

You nodded. "S-Sorry, yes... I... I trust you." Bakugo just balked and shook his head.  

"No apologies, Pup, you're allowed to feel what you're feeling after that shitshow, but you can't let it take over - right? You can't drown in it..." Bakugo was talking to both him and you, at this point. Reassuring you while comforting himself as you leaned against his chest, your body relaxed in his lap as you nodded. He sought out and found just as much comfort in you being close to him as you did to him, it helped keep the sparking crackle out of his palms, helped keep the white noise and the deafening rings out of his mind. 

"Thank you," you finally said softly, looking up to nose gently at his chin, a comforting nuzzle as you kissed his jaw, then his cheek, and then the corner of his lips. "Thank you for choosing me and dealing with all of my problems and loving me still." 

"Tch, nothing to thank me for, Pup... I'd choose you a hundred times over again and again, b-but..." he paused for a moment, hesitation mixed in his normally confident gaze. "Thank you for choosing me back, Pup, for loving me too... and being a source of comfort for me. We help each other, yeah?" Bakugo asked softly, jostling you on his knee as you giggled and smiled up at him, nuzzling back into the crook of his neck. 

"Yeah, we do." You said softly, closing your eyes as you took in his strong scent, allowing it to fill your body and calm you down until nothing bad was left in your body, no tightly wound anxiety, no worrying spiral of panicked thoughts... just him.  

You fell asleep in his arms, sinking into his warm comfort. 

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗   

 You woke up late into the night. Looking over at the alarm clock on the nightstand it read that it was 11:49 P.M., and suddenly you realize you were tucked into Bakugo's bed, the mix of clean skin musk and caramel notes and the cologned scent of his deodorant floating into your sensitive nose as you pressed your face against the pillow.  

His pillow. 

You sucked in greedy breaths of air as something in you stirred, a growing need and soon you were slowly reaching down to run your three center fingers along the outside of your clothed pussy as you kept your face in his pillow; a quiet, choked moan leaving your lips as your ears perked up at the sudden squeaking sigh of a floorboard sounded off behind you... close behind you. 

"You in heat already again, Pup?" Bakugo uttered softly, curiously, not accusatory or mocking.  

You shook your head slowly, a pout on your sweet face as your bottom lip jutted out a bit, eyes teary in frustration looking back up at Bakugo dressed only in low-hung joggers, a clean pair. "N-No... not in heat just... your smell. You smell so good." You said softly as you nosed again at his pillow, and he quirked a brow looking down at you with his muscled arms crossed over his large chest.  

“Yeah, Pup? I smell that good huh?" Bakugo teased softly as he came around the bed, the material sinking beneath his weight as he laid on his side, looking down at your pathetic display. "I smell so good to you that even a whiff of my pillow has you desperate to touch yourself?" He teased again, and you could feel the soft blush flush your cheeks and the tips of your ears warm and embarrassed. "You wanna come smell it straight from the source, hm?" Bakugo asked, knowing where this would end up, but he didn't care. He was head over heels for you, he wanted to protect you, he wanted to shower you with love... but he also wanted to fold you in half and press his weight down as he fucked his thick cock into your slick pussy... the idea of it made him groan as he threw his head back, his eyes screwed shut tight as he tried to cap his growing desire.  

Your eyes widened, and you nodded. Crawling up onto him as he pulled you on top of him, as he shifted his body to lay on his back. Your legs on either side of his hips as you leaned forward to nose and nuzzle at his throat where his scent was the strongest...something about pulse points were so inviting. You took to the delicate skin of his throat quickly as you alternated between long lapping licks, and nosing nuzzles against his throat and without realizing it you had been grinding your clothed pussy down against the growing bulge beneath you. Bakugo's large hands were gripping the plush of your hips, his thumbs hooked into the waistband of your sleep shorts as he gripped your flesh with a bruising force. 

"Fuuuuck, Pup," Bakugo moaned out softly when you started nipping at his skin after a long lick up his throat, and as you did you ground down on his lap, the slick of your pussy soaking through your shorts and onto his pants as you started moving faster, guided by Bakugo's hands. "That's it, Pup, take whatever the hell you want from me." He growled out, bucking his hips upwards and bumping back up into your heated core as he felt your teeth clamping down on the soft skin connecting his neck to his shoulder. His hands fully gripping your ass cheeks, pulling them apart as he gripped the soft material of your shorts in the center and pulling. The soft material split down the middle with no resistance as you whimpered at the loss of warmth, but also at the primal display. Bakugo grunted and shifted his legs, and with one hand moved his joggers down and off his legs while keeping you on top of him. He threw the tattered material of your shorts against the wall, the torn material sliding down the wall and to the ground without an audience as Bakugo's focus was now solely on you, and the way your slick pussy was now gliding up and down the length of his painfully hard cock, the head catching against your hole every now and again making you whimper. Each time the veins and ridges of his cock caught your clit you keened, whining as you pressed back down against him, your eyes bright and needy as you glanced up at him, panting softly with your tongue lolled out of your mouth. Bakugo couldn't help the way he reached forward, cupping your cheek as his thumb pressed down against your tongue, groaning as you closed your mouth and swirled your tongue around the intruding digit.  

"P-Pl-lease..." you panted out softly around his finger, each word enunciated carefully. "W-Want cock pl-lease..." you whined and pressed down against him, the fat tip of his cock barely pressing into your cunt as you moaned out softly, and then cried as he lowered his hips, angling them away from your pussy as you glared up at him.  

He was looking down at you with a pleased look, smug and demanding, an arrogant arch to his brow as he chuckled down at the pathetic sight of you.  

"Fuck yourself just on the tip, Pup," Bakugo said softly, a rumble in his words as he bucked his hips back up again, the tip of his cock slippery and coated in a mixture of his precum and your slippery juices. His hands came back on your hips, squeezing the fat there as he urged your body back down. He could hear the squelching airy sound as his cockhead entered your cunt, and the wet pop as it pulled out; your hips barely balancing above his cock as you lowered back down again, repeating the action over and over until you were too weak to keep your body up. Your legs were shaky and weak, and within a moment you were spearing your full weight down as his thick cock spread you apart, his tip pressing painfully against your cervix with an aching pleasure as he groaned out with the feel of your pussy walls warm, wet, enveloping him completely. “Such a greedy Pup...” Bakugo groaned out, gripping your hips tighter as he bucked up causing your body to fall forward as he fucked up into you roughly with a symphony of wet squelching sounds and airy slaps of skin until you both were moaning out together; Bakugo a lower growling groan and you a sweet high moan as you bit down on his shoulder as your orgasm slammed into you unexpectedly. You squirted slick juice around his cock, wetting his lap as he continued to fuck up into you, his hips stuttering and soon he was pressing deep into you as his cock twitched and pulsed with his own release, hot white cum flooding your pussy and dripping out and around his cock with your juices in a lewd mixture.  

Your teeth were still digging down in Bakugo’s shoulder as he reached a hand up to pat at the back of your head gently, threading his fingers into your hair to scratch at your scalp gently. “Good Pup,” Bakugo let out breathlessly, his cock still left softening in your pussy as he enjoyed the still-spasming warmth of your cunt. “Let’s go take a quick shower and I’ll clean up the rest of the bed, huh?” Bakugo muttered gently against your temple, kissing you sweetly in the spot as he nuzzled his own face against yours, you just hummed in response, your tail wagging lazily against his leg. 

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗   

An easy three months have passed with an almost mundane normalcy. Kirishima and TetsuTetsu have been over multiple times for playdates, movie nights and after-patrol dinners. Bakugo even took you into his office a few days over the last couple of weeks on the days you didn’t go and see Hana at the Hybrid Rehabilitation Facility for your weekly therapy. Everything seemed to be on an upward trajectory as far as both of your healings. Bakugo kept taking you to regular check-ups to ensure your physical health was also healing alongside your mental health, and Bakugo even went to all his rehabs, check-ups and therapy, too, without so much as a grumble. He was happy to heal, if it meant healing alongside you and getting better together for each other... in contrast to nearly a year ago when Bakugo couldn’t imagine this working out, he was surprised even with himself as he made leaps and bounds in his recovery; a bit more of his hearing returned, there was less and less white noise and high-pitched ringing, and the Hero Support specialists were coming up with a high-frequency hearing aid that Bakugo could use that would aid in his hearing while protecting his ears from the loud blasts of his quirk and the outside world crumbling around him nearby in his daily Pro Hero work. 

All in all, it was picturesque... but your life wasn’t such a smooth road, and good things have a way of being balanced with the bad, and your bad day came in the form of a shopping trip out with Bakugo. 

You and Bakugo needed essentials and some groceries for the house, and before anything perishable was picked up, he offered to take you looking around for anything you’d enjoy having: new clothes, toys, books, anything at all. Bakugo had stayed back to look at some new knives and pans for the kitchen, while you wandered the store slowly looking around to see if anything caught your interest when a scent caught your nose. The burning, acrid scent of cigarettes and cologne, and the underlying musk of a person you long since had forgotten about in your recent peaceful months.    “Hey, mutt.” A familiar, deep drawl rang out. You froze in your spot, a soft plush bear in your hands that you had grabbed from the shelf now served as your center of balance and focus, of peace as you strangled the soft toy in your white-knuckled grip.  

Sharp, cold grey eyes regarded you with disdain and disgust. The over-gel'd slick back black hair greasy and catching the bright fluorescent light of the store as he stood in front of you with two other men flanking him a few feet back, pretending to look through items on a shelf as he spoke to you.  

“You look good, mutt,” he said out in a smooth, sleazy tone. “Fatter even, guess that new guy’s feeding you well huh? Looks good though, nice soft flesh...” He kept talking, but his voice hooked in your head and reverberated throughout, overwhelming you like a nightmarish echo chamber. You wanted to whimper, whine out, scream, cry, growl, bite him... anything to protect yourself and get him away from you. Your head was spiraling when a strong hand clasped around your shoulder from behind and a sharp, angry voice spoke over you. One that was scarier than his, but you weren’t afraid of it. 

“I’ll be informing your probation officer of this infringement on the terms of your release, and the restraining order we have on you.” Bakugo’s venomous, harsh tone rang out above you, sending a shiver down your spine. “Now, kindly fuck off before I blast that smirk off your face and leave you eating and breathing through tubes.” Your body sunk back against Bakugo as you sought comfort in his familiar scent and the hard contours of his body that always seemed to welcome you, and fit against you perfectly. “Now, you have ten seconds to fuck off,” Bakugo barked out, glaring at the men.  

“Now, now, that’s not very generous of you.” He stated coldly, his friendly demeanor dropping. 

“This is me being generous, prick, now leave before I utilize my right to arrest you and get detectives out here for you and your sorry entourage.” Bakugo nodded at the men behind him, glaring with equal ire at them as they twin men dropped their items and looked between Bakugo and their boss. Bakugo’s palms were sparking off with the desire to just blast this sorry sack of human to the depths of hell, but he knew a fight and more trauma isn’t what you needed – but you did need to be removed from this situation quickly.  

Bakugo kept a hard stare levelled at the sleaze before the sleaze cockroach finally lifted his hands up in defeat, and slowly backed away with his men, and out of the store... as soon as his retreating back was out of sight Bakugo knelt beside you and placed his hands on either side of your face. “Hey my Pup, hey, you okay? Pup?” Bakugo asked in a soft, sweet tone only reserved for you. One of his large hands on your shoulder as his other gentle coaxed the soft bear out of your white-knuckle grip on the poor things neck. “Guess you like this little guy, huh?” Bakugo mused softly, trying to distract you from what just happened with the soft bear now in his hands, he lifted the tiny thing up to pretend kiss your face all over until you were giggling against Bakugo and snuggled up against his chest; your breathing back to normal and your anxiety lessened.  

“How about you stick close to me, and we check out what we have and head home, yeah? I’ll cook you up a nice dinner with all my new kitchen gadgets, yeah? Sounds good huh, Pup?” Bakugo mused as he nudged you with his hip, a smile still on your face as you nodded, gripping his hand and walking toward the checkout, back to his shopping basket and you with your newly acquired bear in your hands.  

@winnieslut @ryantryan6969 @natsukicookies @littlnika @im-better-than-your-newborn @ssc7514 @romiinlove @theequeenofcurses @xbieditz @hypernovaxx @craxy-person @archer-fb @sadgyaltings @kllrkitty @meiimeiichuu @noxva08 @livyyz @misscaller06 @kiwibao @ewwitsbella @mrsyixingunicorn10​ @simplesoup

#BNHA #MHA #Boku No Hero Academia #My Hero Academia #BNHA Smut #MHA Smut #My Hero Academia Smut #Boku No Hero Academia Smut #Bakugo Katsuki #Katsuki Bakugo #Katsuki Bakugo smut #Bakugo Katsuki smut #BNHA Bakugo #MHA Bakugo #BNHA Katsuki #MHA Katsuki #Hybrid!Reader #Puppygirl!reader #Puppygirl Smut #Katsuki Bakugo x you #Katsuki Bakugo x you smut #Katsuki Bakugo x reader #Katsuki Bakugo x reader smut #Katsuki Bakugo x fem!reader #Katsuki Bakugo x fem!reader smut #fem!reader #fem!reader smut #Bakugo Katsuki x you smut #Bakugo Katsuki x fem!reader #Bakugo Katsuki x hybrid!reader

[dollfaced-erin]

𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕠𝕟'𝕤 ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕝𝕖 (Blade x F!Reader x Jing Yuan)

PART 10

PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 , PART 9

A/n ! : -

sorry for being late again ! i was deep diving into the lore making sure i got nothing wrong ! though if i did we would be twisting canon fr tho but i think i have a way of moving through that teehee ! anyways enjoy the little sweets i scattered hjdkjashdkjashd

Taglist ! : -

@rebeccawinters , @nayukiyukihira , @pix-stuff , @fluffy-koalala , @swivy123 , @starxao , @kaoyamamegami , @kimura-uzuri , @rsvye , @seikouryuu , @just-here-reading , @matsulovesyou, @sincerely-aaronette , @prettyliliy , @chibiduck , @hermosacolibri , @la-diablas-thingz , @farelady-fate

(Y/n) didn't stiffen nor did she freeze. instead her body softened and relax at the loving touch of the individual that held her close so tenderly. Her hands moved up to come into contact with hands that were wrapped in bandages and in leather.

She didn't mind. As long as he was there.

"You came to see me again…?" (Y/n) softly whispered.

"Tell me, what should I call you, O man who has forsaken his name…?" she asked again, her right hand then going up to caress the dark bangs that covered his bowed face like a curtain.

"Blade." the man responded, his hand moving to take hers into his bandaged own

"I just…had to see you again. But I am sure it's the last." Blade responded, letting go of (Y/n). But his hands never left her, as they tenderly reached to hold hers. Though covered with cloth and glove, warmth seemed to seep through those barriers, coming into contact with (Y/n) slender hands.

"Once again…you do not cower to the sight of me…" Blade whispered, slightly surprised. But it was welcome.

Though he was a wanted criminal. Though there was billions of credits mounted for even giving a single piece of information about him. Though he has killed and slaughtered many, (Y/n) has never felt hands safer than his own.

It was…as if her body knew him. As if her heart knew him.

Though she had forgotten all, her shattered memories being her one saving grace. She knew this man. She met this man yesterday, but it felt like she knew him.

And as she saw him in her dreams, be it that he is no longer the person he used to be, he was still a person she held dear to her heart. For both (Y/n) and Dan Jia.

The man Dan Jia loved in her memories was Yingxing. But before (Y/n) was Blade. Dan Jia and (Y/n) were two different people, as Yingxing and Blade are.

"Are you sure it is alright to be out here at this time…? What if someone catches you ? I might be able to feign ignorance, but you--" "Hush, my dancer, speak no more." the man said, placing a gloved finger by her lips. Then he, moved a finger to tilt her head up.

"Our encounter tonight will be brief, and meaningful. But I must go soon." Blade whispered, his hand moving to caress her cheek tenderly, letting go of her from his tight hold, but still holding her hand.

He felt…proud. That even (Y/n) had lost her memories, and was slowly coming to terms with them, she still welcomed him warmly. She wasn't scared, no. It seemed that she had a good idea of who he was.

He felt…happy.

"I wish to leave you something, as a reminder that I will always be thinking of you…" Blade said, as he released his hand from her cheek and reaching into his pocket. He opened his palm to reveal two crystal wind chime earrings, crafted with utmost care and to perfection.

"Even if I told you I refuse letting you see me again, I just…needed to leave you something, as a reminder of this monster." Blade whispered.

"W-well then…take this." (Y/n) said, handing him one of the pieces of jewelry. "You take one, and I'll have one. That way…we can both have one, right ?"

"I don't see any monster. All I see is a man with the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. You can only be you, Blade. Not a monster, not a weapon, not a tool." She smiled at him brightly, hooking the small accessory. The small wind chime moved as (Y/n) looked up, and surprisingly she heard no sound, as the entire thing was made of stiff glass.

"Yingxing…time and time again I tell you…you are not a tool !" His heart pounded at the sight.

"(Y/n)…I depart soon. But before that…may I do something…?" Blade asked (Y/n).

(Y/n) nodded, the earring moving as she nodded her head. Though she wasn't ready for what he requested of her. But he didn't care.

With those words in mind, Blade immediately went to hold her chin with his thumb and index finger, and leaned in. His chapped lips were met with soft and cold ones, colder than the ones in his memories.

In that moment their hearts beat wildly in unison, as they stood together beneath the moon. He knew this was a bad thing to do, how selfish he was, how he was tainting this pure princess who has done nothing wrong, how he felt like he was corrupting her with his plagued body.

But he regretted nothing.

With the hands that went to his chest, pulling at his shirt, lips that kissed back, it seemed that it wasn't only him that had been dreaming of a moment so pure. The shoulders of the woman he held dear relaxed as she had moved on from the initial shock.

It felt so right…

He pulled back from the kiss, puffs of hot breath escaping his lips, mingling with (Y/n)'s own. Half lidded (e/c) eyes gazed into his own, cheeks as red as the ripest apples, pink lips slightly trembling as she panted.

But the tears that ran down her cheeks pained his heart.

He couldn't help himself. He felt his heart pound. He wanted to hug and reassure her, he wanted to comfort her, for he knew that she was confused and a little shocked, no matter how strong she seemed to be.

But time was running thin on them.

"I'll see you again if destiny allows us to reunite, my moon…"

He cupped her cheeks in his tender hands, and leaned in to place a soft kiss on her forehead. His lips were warm against her cold skin, and he stood there for a couple of seconds, (Y/n) closing her eyes to savor the moment.

As she opened her eyes, the man of the darkness was nowhere to be seen.

(Y/n) had no idea why she was crying. She herself didn't understand the reason. But then again, what did she know about herself ? What did she know of the person she was ?

But one thing for sure, it wasn't her that was crying. It was the soul in her.

"Lady (Y/n) !" a bright voice called out to her as she walked towards the plaza once again. She turned around to see a pink haired girl, one she had recognized to be as March.

"Yes ?" (Y/n) asked, turning around to see the pink-haired lady. "Is there anything you need me for ?"

The girl then took her hand, not even flinching at the coldness her icy hands were. Perhaps it was because her own hands were just as cold, but the girl's smile was way warmer and brighter contrasting her hands.

"Lady Bailu is looking for you. She told us to come find you to help her." March said, taking her hand and walking towards the plaza where the other Nameless members were waiting.

"Oh…? She sent you…? How did you find me ?" (Y/n) asked as March led her through the crowd consisting of natives, foxians and vidyadharas.

"It's not that hard to find you, silly ! With clothes of a princess, silky (h/c) hair and horns ? It's quite hard to miss you !" March said with a gleeful smile as they began to approach the little girl who was talking to the soldiers who were lying on the ground.

"Ah, Lady (Y/n) !" Bailu said happily, looking up at (Y/n) with her aqua eyes. (Y/n) could see the amazement and excitement in those eyes. Bailu then came to (Y/n) and took her hand, leading her towards the fallen soldiers.

As her eyes lingered on the infected knight, her ears picked up on the chatter between another doctor from the alchemy commission and Jingyan, the Vidyadhara she met a few times.

"That's…the best I can do…" the doctor said, standing up after injecting some elixir into the Mara-struck soldier laying down on the stretcher.

"Tsk ! And what's that supposed to mean ? Doctors don't give up that easily !" Jingyan protested, looking at the doctor incredulously. But the doctor sigh and shook her head.

"What else am I supposed to do ? The route back to the Alchemy Commission has disappeared, and we're in the field without the right medicine or supplies." the doctor tried to reason with Jingyan.

"Besides, we have no record of this disease at all. These symptoms are consistent with someone about to be stricken with mara--" "According to his medical record, this man is barely over 200 years old — he only just joined the Cloud Knights. How can he possibly be mara-struck? Why don't you… take another look."

The doctor sighed and crouched down again, trying to find any other anomality though it seemed quite futile from her behalf. Jingyan bit her lip as she looked at the soldier and the others surrounding the plaza. "If it goes on like this, the judges of the Ten-Lords Commission will have to come out and clean up this mess."

Then she glanced to (Y/n) who was with Bailu. "I saw the Vidyadhara dragon lady is here and Lady (Y/n). Maybe she can help stem the tide…"

"These symptoms…" (Y/n) said, trying to wrack her mind with memories, only to be met with nothing at all. But they seemed a little…odd to her. Was Mara supposed to strike this fast and this aggressive…?

"Yes, the Mara symptom these days are more extreme…" Bailu said sadly, looking down at the inflicted with pain in her little young heart.

"I can…try slow down the symptoms…" (Y/n) said, looking at Bailu. And Bailu's eyes lit up almost immediately and quickly made way for (Y/n) to get closer.

(Y/n) held out her hands, the palms hovering on top of the chest of the inflicted. She tried, but she really wasn't sure what the heck she was doing at this point. But she had to try.

She concentrated, closing her eyes and trying to focus. She felt her cold powers surge through her hands and she was able to feel the energy emitted by the individual laying before her.

It was…minimal…and contaminated. It felt as if there was a black mist surrounding the body of the soldier. But…she couldn't find the core of where it stemmed from.

But as she traced again…

"There are multiple spores in his body. That's why the Mara's spreading so aggressively." (Y/n) said, opening her eyes. No wonder she couldn't trace it. There was more than one root in the body that triggered the Mara faster than usual.

"S-spores ? How did those appear ?" Bailu asked, panic surging in her. She wasn't exposed to such sights, thus making healing a tad too hard for her.

"I'm not sure." (Y/n) said, her pretty lips turning into a frown and eyebrows furrowing. "But I'll try sealing them."

With her instincts and her insight, she managed to locate all the spores and place her fingers on the spots sharply and swiftly, letting her ice internally wrap around the spore and reduce the production of the mist. One down…and seven more to go…

"I've slowed down the progress of Mara symptoms in all the knights>" (Y/n) said, getting up from her position and looked at all the other Mara-struck she had tended to. Her body felt weak and tired. She wasn't used to exerting much energy and power.

Unlike when fighting with Yanqing, she was tired physically. But this really took out the power of her internal knowledge and frozen memories. Perhaps Dan Jia really could do something like this in the past…or maybe even more.

"That…that's so cool, Lady (Y/n) !" Bailu exclaimed, looking up at (Y/n) with wonder in her eyes. Then she looked at her own hands. "Maybe…if I had ice powers like you, I could learn it from you…"

(Y/n) couldn't stand a child looking so sad. Such a young child, being subjected with all the responsibilities and being restricted of her freedom. Did...Dan Jia have to go through this as well ?

Without realizing, (Y/n) had raised a hand and placed itself on Bailu's head, softly petting Bailu's purple hair. She couldn't help but want to comfort this little child before her.

"You'll be able to find a talent unique to you someday. I'm sure of it. You may not see it now, but I sense great potential from you." (Y/n) said, giving the child a small smile.

Bailu looked up at her brightly, awe in her child eyes. Then she nodded. "Perhaps then...I could cure Mara..."

Cure Mara...?

That sent (Y/n) thinking.

She had the power to slow down Mara. Could she possibly stop Mara from spreading by freezing those cores ? What else was Dan Jia capable of...?

Maybe she could stop the Mara from spreading in him.

In the man with eyes as red as spider lilies. An expression as cold as dead. But the lips as warm as fire...

Oh Aeons, she had forgotten all about their little intimate actions in the alleyway ! She was so distracted and wrapped up with things around her, she hadn't had the time to properly process and take in things !

But now that she thought about it...

His lips were cold but felt so warm against hers.

And they were so...soft...

"Lady (Y/n) ? You alright ?" (Y/n) heard and snapped out of her trance and looked at Bailu.

"Y-yes ? Is something the matter ?" (Y/n) asked the dragon lady next to her.

"Your face is red. Did you use up too much energy ? Do you need to rest ?" Bailu asked worriedly, her tone notching up one level as she reached closer to (Y/n). "M-maybe you should get something to drink or eat ! Something with high sugar to help you regain your energy."

"N-no, no. I'm really okay. Just a little tired."

Bailu dragged (Y/n) off to some food vendors as (Y/n)'s heart raced in her chest. her face was incredibly red and she was sweating. Bailu was scared that (Y/n) might've gotten a fever from using up too much energy.

"Here...lets get some Tuskpir wraps and sit down for a moment. The Astral Express team went to follow the Realm-Keeping Commission guys, and I cant go back to the Alchemy Commission just yet." Bailu said as she dragged (Y/n) along the plaza.

"And maybe I can try help you with you amnesia." the little girl whispered softly.

"Yeah..."

And maybe (Y/n) can help him as she subconsciously reached to touch the earring that dangled from her pointed ear, the pair being in another hand.

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr x you #hsr blade x reader #hsr blade x you #hsr jing yuan x reader #hsr jing yuan x you #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #blade x reader #blade x you #Dragon's Cradle #hsr x reader

[kamisatomay018]

My Saviour: Part 1

Warnings: mentions of emotionally abusive parents, depressive thoughts, angst with comfort, fluff

Kamisato Ayato x female reader

First Ayato series! But you can read each part individually too. This will also be pretty long and set the background of the story a little, so I hope you Enjoy!:)

“It’s over Ayaka, my life, my freedom, my happiness…it’s all going to end..”

You were a member of the Hiragi clan, And Chisato’s cousin. An only child to your parents, you had been locked away inside your house and this wretched island of Ritou for as long as you could remember. Your parents never treated you like their daughter, rather you were a burden for them and they made sure to tell you that every single day. You had just turned 23 yesterday, and your parents were adamant on getting you married off to some rich noble, regardless of your wishes.

“We want the burden of your existence off our chests” your father had said, looking at you as if you were the worst thing to ever happen to them, which was indeed true. Your parents hated you for after your birth, your mother faced complications which rendered her infertile. They blamed you for it, calling you a devil child who stole the chance of them ever having a male heir. So, they decided to get rid of you once and for all by marrying you off to some other noble.

People barely knew about your existence, for you had never had the opportunity of leaving Ritou. You were absolutely beautiful, each feature so delicate yet perfectly sculpted. You had been raised to be a proper lady, having perfect etiquette in all the matters such as speech, tea ceremony, playing a musical instrument and everything else a noble lady should know. You had met Ayaka 5 years ago when she had travelled to Ritou, and you had looked after her because she was young and could get lost. That’s how you two became best friends.

She told you everything about her life, about her clan and her brother. You knew the Yashiro Commissioner only by his name and by his reputation of being extremely reliable, kind and hardworking. However you got to know a lot more about him through Ayaka, who loved her brother more than anything and would talk about him endlessly for hours. You felt happy that she had a brother like him, for she was so precious and kind to everyone.

Just when you had thought your life couldn’t get any worse, your parents had declared that they’d be putting up notices of your availability in marriage by tomorrow, and that you’d have no choice but to marry. All the noble men you were aware of were at least 10 or more years older than you, who treated women like a trophy and an heir producing machine. You knew that you were about to leave one prison for another, and you had accepted your doomed fate. You were always lonely, often crying in silence while growing up. Seeing other children with loving parents hurt you, and you often hated the fact that you were even born. What was your fault in all this? What had you done to deserve such a fate? You did not know, and you would never get the answers to these questions.

Coming back to the present moment, Ayaka had come to meet you as usual, and you broke the news of your marriage to her. She was absolutely heartbroken for two reasons. The first being that she felt so sad about the treatment you had always been getting, how you were forced into things you didn’t want, how you were trapped and locked away like a slave. The second reason being that this news was going to break her brother’s heart too.

Even though you and Ayato had never formally met or even spoken to one another, he liked you a lot. Ayaka would talk endlessly about you to him, and your gentle demeanour and kindness drew him towards you. He was absolutely enchanted by your beauty when Ayaka had shown a picture of you to him, and without even realising, he had developed feelings for you over these years, and had been searching for opportunities to travel to Ritou somehow, but his busy schedule and the recent crisis in Inazuma regarding the vision hunt decree kept him very busy.

Ayaka hugged you, promising to help you out in her heart. “Please have courage, things will be okay..Who knows, you might actually leave this prison for a palace..”

You chuckled softly, grateful for her words yet not fully believing them “No Ayaka, all the noble men are much, much older than me, controlling and orthodox…I’ll be treated as nothing but a trophy wife..you know, my parents burnt all my paintings yesterday, saying that they were..awful and a hindrance to my potential marriage because my future husband would not approve of my love for the arts..”

Ayaka felt devastated at this, because she knew that painting was the only way you could find peace and express your true self. But now your parents had burnt those too, just the way they had burnt all hope and determination from your life. She hugged you softly again, staying with you some more before she had to return to the Kamisato Estate. There was a lot she had to tell her brother.

Ayaka hurried through the streets of inazuma city to reach the Kamisato Estate; and once she reached she entered her brother’s office without knocking, being a little out of breath.

“Ayaka? What’s wrong sister? Has something happened?” Spoke a deep gentle voice, lavender eyes looking up at his dear sister with a worried gaze. She meant the world to him, and he was always willing to do anything for her.

“Brother…Y/N’s parents are forcing her into an arranged marriage! By tomorrow a list of all the noble men interested in marrying her will reach the Hiragi estate, and they’ll pick a suitor for her..”

Then quill Ayato was once holding dropped, spilling ink onto the parchment but he couldn’t care less. The only girl he was interested in and was dying to meet was about to get married? That too to a stranger? Ayato knew the noblemen of inazuma too well, they were cunning and manipulative, too proud and full of themselves. None of them deserved an angel like you. He took a moment to compose himself, then simply smiled as he reached out to get a new parchment.

“Worry not Ayaka, I will make sure nothing of that sort happens.

“What are you planning to do brother?”

Ayato smiles at her, his eyes twinkling with determination and excitement. “I will go to Ritou and seek Hiragi Y/N’s hand in marriage.”

#ayato x reader #genshin fanfic #kamisato ayato #genshin ayato #ayato fluff #ayato x y/n

[mayhem-things]

Pelle Ohlin x reader | Heated argument

(Lords of chaos, not the real one)

theyre having an heated argument because of his jealousy. Nonetheless the passion between them overtakes the rage, ending in rough emotions colliding.

tw: oral sex ( male receiving) 

(1452 words)

----------------------------------------------

Pelle Ohlin, a typically composed individual, found himself engulfed in a tempest of emotions. He had been spending an excessive amount of time with his girlfriend Y/N, only to discover that she had been growing increasingly close to another male companion. The realization gnawed at Pelle, leaving him feeling neglected and consumed by jealousy.

One evening, Pelle and Y/N found themselves in the midst of a heated argument. The atmosphere was charged with tension, and Pelle's usual calmness gave way to an outpouring of hurt and frustration.

"What's going on with you, Pelle?" she asked, her voice tinged with confusion as she sensed the shift in his demeanor.Pelle, struggling to articulate his emotions, took a deep breath before finally finding his voice.

"I can't ignore the fact that you've been spending so much time with (male name) lately," he exclaimed, his voice quivering with a mix of anger and hurt.

"It feels like you're deliberately neglecting the attention we used to share."

Y/N's face contorted, a mixture of surprise and defensiveness. She hadn't realized the depth of Pelle's feelings, and now, confronted with his raw intensity, she felt the need to protect herself.

"Pelle, I had no idea you felt this way,"

 She responded, her voice tinged with frustration. 

"(male name) and I have been friends for ages, and it's unfair of you to accuse me of neglecting our bond."

The tension in the room continued to escalate, and Pelle's emotions overwhelmed him.

"It's not just about him! It's about us, our connection," he retorted, his voice rising in volume.

"I miss the attention, the closeness we once shared."

As Pelle's voice grew louder, so did his frustration. The bottled-up emotions that had been festering inside him began pouring out, fueling an increasingly heated exchange. Y/N, too, began to feel the weight of their conversation."Pelle, I can't change the fact that (name) is my friend. Our friendship doesn't diminish what we have," She shot back, her voice edged with impatience.

"You're making this about something it doesn't have to be."

Pelle's anger surged, his hurt morphing into a potent cocktail of resentment and indignation.

 "How can you say that? Our relationship should be a priority for both of us," he exclaimed, his voice laced with bitterness. "But lately, it seems like I'm just an afterthought to you."

Y/N's eyes flashed with frustration, and she couldn't contain her own rising ire. 

"You're being unreasonable, Pelle. I've tried to balance my friendships, but it seems like nothing I do is ever enough for you," she retorted, her voice sharp with accusation. 

"Maybe you should consider your own insecurities before blaming me for everything."

As their argument raged on, Pelle and Y/n's once-solid relationship seemed to crumble under the weight of their unresolved emotions. Each word exchanged was like a dagger, further driving a wedge between them.In that moment, it became clear that their anger had clouded their judgment and communication. The jealousy that consumed Pelle had pushed him to lash out, while her defensive stance only exacerbated the situation.

In the heat of their argument, Pelle's overwhelming jealousy consumed him. His emotions reached a breaking point, and without uttering a single word, he impulsively leaned down and kissed her with an intensity that surprised them both. The kiss was fueled by a mixture of frustration, longing, and a desire to bridge the growing divide between them.Caught off guard, Y/N initially resisted, her mind still clouded with the remnants of their heated exchange. But as their lips met and the raw, pent-up emotions coursed through their veins, she found herself yielding to the passionate kiss.Their lips moved fervently, speaking a language that transcended words. The intensity of the moment was both liberating and overwhelming, as if their bodies were desperately trying to bridge the emotional chasm that had formed between them. In that stolen moment, the weight of their unspoken apologies and the depth of their connection became palpable. The barriers that had erected between them began to crumble, as the rawness of their emotions gave way to a longing for closeness.Their embrace became a silent admission of the mistakes they had made, an unspoken understanding that they were both flawed and affected by their own insecurities. They kissed with a fervor that transcended words, desperately trying to mend the wounds inflicted by their argument.

The lingering anger within him amplified his actions, making them more impulsive and rough—far beyond what she was accustomed to. However, she found herself willingly succumbing to that impulsive behavior. Their tongues danced fervently, engaging in a passionate and uninhibited kiss that explored the depths of each other's mouths. Her arms tightly wrapped around his neck, urging him to deepen the kiss, while his hand grazed her leg, pulling it up towards his waist. The intensity of their kiss escalated, resulting in an accidental collision with the wall, a testament to their shared urgency.Her hands instinctively traced a path down his torso, skillfully unbuckling his belt, while he trailed kisses down her neck, gently nibbling and sucking to mark her with visible kiss marks. In that moment, he desired for anyone who laid eyes on her to know without a doubt to whom she belonged, possessiveness and passion intertwining. The raw, unfiltered emotions flowing between them fueled their insatiable desire, fueling their longing for each other's bodies.With the belt dropping soundlessly to the ground, his pants swiftly followed suit. He reciprocated her gesture by helping her undress, their actions speaking volumes as not a single word escaped their lips. There were no arguments, no apologies, only a primal connection driven by pure, unadulterated emotion. The undeniable bulge in his pants pressed against her, an unmistakable sign of his heightened arousal, instantly understood by Y/N.

Her hand ventured further down, her fingers rubbing against the fabric of his underwear, seeking out the bulge that strained against the constraints. As she applied pressure, eliciting heavy breaths and soft moans from Pelle, Y/N couldn't help but revel in the knowledge of how maddeningly teasing her touch must be driving him. Their eyes locked, and the intensity in his gaze confirmed her suspicions. His eyes pleaded for her to go further, to satisfy the longing that burned within him. Yielding to his unspoken desires, she knelt before him, her lips trailing kisses along his thighs, ignoring his self harm wounds, before gradually making their way closer to his throbbing length.As her lips inched nearer, Pelle's larger hand found its place behind her head, guiding her gently towards his arousal. Sensing his need, she decided it was time to cease the tantalizing tease. With a swift motion, she pulled down his boxers, exposing his erect member, already pulsating with anticipation from her touch."Please," Pelle whispered, his voice filled with pure longing, his plea bordering on begging. Y/N's finger traced a path up his shaft, savoring the texture beneath her touch, before she teasingly began to lick and suck at the tip of his length. Each flick of her tongue, each gentle suction, drew moans of pleasure from his lips, echoing in the air as his body quivered with delight.

A loud groan escaped his lips as Y/N finally took his entire length into her warm mouth, the tip of his erect cock grazing the tightness of her throat. The sensation was mind-numbing, erasing any remnants of anger that had lingered within him. Like a reflex, he instinctively guided her head, his hand gently motioning the rhythm as she continued to suck and play with her tongue. Pleasure surged through him, his mind blurring with each tantalizing movement.

"Fuck," he groaned, unable to contain the overwhelming ecstasy building within him. Her increasing speed, combined with her expert techniques, pushed him closer to the edge. He could feel his climax approaching, the anticipation heightening his senses.

"Fuck, I'm cu-" Pelle couldn't finish the sentence, cut off by a deep moan as his orgasm crashed over him, seizing his entire being. Throwing his head back, a wave of pleasure rippled through every part of his body, overwhelming him. In the throes of his climax, his body jerked involuntarily, his essence filling her mouth. Panting heavily, his heart racing, he leaned down to capture her lips in a passionate kiss, his expression now filled with love and tenderness.Moments later, as the intensity subsided, he broke the kiss, their lips still tingling with the lingering passion. With a gesture of affection, he whispered, 

"Thank you," his voice filled with genuine appreciation for the pleasure she had bestowed upon him.

#mayhem #black metal #depressing shit #depressiv #lord of chaos #euronymous #oystein aarseth #fan fic stuff #fan fiction #fanfic #pelle ohlin #per yngve ohlin #pelle #lords of chaos

[autumnaaltonen]

(listen, listen my two brain cells are working hard!).

Alucard with a sort of muscular s/o who has scars and stretch marks due to hunting/missions. She's seems intimidating/doesn't talk much and always takes things too seriously even with sarcasm. But secretly she just socially awkward and shy. Who's insecure about her body and how her muscles/scars making her look scary.

Maybe one day Alucard complements her for her work during a mission ((or one day she wears a dress for an event)) and catches her blushing cuz she nvr gotten a complement before.

Hehehehe, yesssss

Alucard With a Muscular, Scarred and Socially Awkward S/O

As an individual, you were one of the more experienced monster hunters out of all the other human Hellsing soldiers, you’ve got your fair share of kills from every variety of freak, be it vampires, ghouls or werewolves. However, while this fact should make you the most popular member on the team, it was unfortunately quite the opposite.

Spending so much time on your own on solo missions, even prior to Hellsing, has put you a little on the stiff side. You can tell when a vamp was about to slash a filed hand at you from a single twitch of the finger, or when a ghoul was capable of running rather than just stumbling based on the pattern of their steps.

But social ques like friendly greetings, sarcasm and self-deprecating humour have become lost to you over time, and it’s painfully noticeable to both yourself and to everyone around you. You were stoic silent, not in ignorance, but fearful of the mystery that has become your fellow human. Jokes fly above your head, and playful jabs make you question the people you surround yourself with, but you keep rationalising at the end of the day that it’s all in your head, and that your glaring is not going to make you any new friends. You felt like a wolf in a pack of sheep.

To add wood to the fire, you’ve also garnered a number of physical mementos from your work, like nasty scars from close calls with a mouth or a claw, moles and freckles from waiting in the sun before nightfall called upon your kill, and stretch marks from the various changes your body has gone through during your physically intensive work

So, you were a tad intimidating to most. But Alucard has always been different. He’s the King of weird and intimidating, so when he took notice of your insecurities despite your gifts, he just couldn’t have it.

“Do not waste your mortal life fretting over polished gold. We may not shine in the sun, but just as the moon dazzles at night, our aptitude is best performed in darkness.”

The both of you hit it off fairly quickly, to say the least. With Alucard by your side, your social anxiety is somewhat pattered down, as there is no way in hell that you could seem like a weirdo with him walking next to you.

Alucard makes you feel seen at the most unlikely of moments, laughing proudly while watching you kill on missions, competing with you on who could take down the most ghouls in one night, or checking on you every once in a while to make sure you were stocked on ammunition.

He even begins to give you words of affirmation and compliments that frazzled and dazed you every time.

“Even I could learn to fear the fury of your gaze, dear.”

“What an alluring sight you are, out of breath and blood-sated.”

“Careful now, if you keep fighting like that, I may just have to keep you.”

Alucard made you feel special and one of a kind, and for once in the best ways. And when he slowly starts pushing on your walls, and words become actions, you wonder why you ever second-guessed yourself.

But then there came the dreaded occasion of the UK Special Forces Division Ball, an annual celebration for the Queen’s most gifted soldiers, and of course Hellsing was hosting as usual, being the most indispensable military group of the time. To make matters worse, Sir Integra had chosen you to deliver this year’s welcoming speech, saying you were “the most exemplary standard for whom a solider of the Crown should strive to be.” And as his human friend, Integra also expected you to accompany Alucard throughout the night to balance out his attitude. Alucard agreed to your accompaniment without issue, even looking forward to not having to be forced into speaking with arrogant and imperious higher-ups.

Fuck that. Fuck this. YOU HAVE TO WHERE A DRESS!?  

You aren’t a ‘pick me’ by any means, but you cannot recall the last time you were anywhere near a pair of heels and lip-gloss, and that terrifies you. What the dress showed off your shoulders and arms? If you put on make-up, would you end up like the Matchmaker after Mulan threw tea on her? With your muscles and scars, what if you looked like a frou-frou G.I. Jane?

You don’t think you’ve ever had a near panic attack over such a trivial matter before, but it wasn’t trivial to you! For once, you were not even worrying about what others would think of you. Instead, all you could imagine is the fact that Alucard would see. Handsome, beautiful Alucard…he came from a background of Medieval opulence and royal refinery, a King who wore robes of ruby-dyed wool and a crown of glittering jewels, who had dazzling women at his beck and call to serve him in any way he asked.

You knew there was only one thing you could do: call upon your commanding officers. It took a lot of self-reassurance and determination, but it all pays off when you see the smiles on Sir Integra and Seras’ faces, both absolutely game to doll you up for your big moment. Sir Integra is a master-class in fashion, having three separate closets for her suits, gowns and decorative weapons. Seras is a social woman fresh out of police college, and was no stranger to what cosmetics looked best when clubbing or going to a fancy-shmancy gala.

You imagined that they would cover you up with a shawl, or cover your scars with concealer, but to your horror they instead slipped you into a sleeveless and tight woven gown and black heels that accentuated all your muscles and curves, as well as applied very basic cosmetics to just your face to make you pop.

Maybe this was a terrible idea.

But they don’t take ‘no’ for an answer, and shove you out of your room and down the hallways into the ballroom, practically throwing you through the doors…and directly into Alucard’s back. Turns out he had been waiting by the entrance for quite some time, making a bit of a scary scene for all the other guests who needed to walk past him towards the dance floor. He was looking for someone, and everyone hoped to God it was for a good reason.

You were able to brace your hands in front of you after being thrown into your good friend’s back, knowing that even someone with your strength could not stumble him. When he turns around, prepared to scold whoever dared try to shove him, you brace for the impact of a bullying laugh or a disappointed frown, wrapping your arms around yourself like a protective shield and looking down at his boots.

But you feel his gloved fingers wrap themselves around your hands firmly, removing them from around your sides and resting them atop his chest. He then puts a finger under your chin, tipping your head up to look at him.

“I was starting to wonder when my second-half would appear. Though I see you kept me waiting for good reason, now you have become even more dazzling than the moon.”

You gape for a moment, taking his words. “Your second-half?” you question.

“Of course, why do you think I asked my master to keep you by my side tonight? A King requires his fair beauty on his arm.”

The sincerity of his words and the admiration on his face nearly brings tears to your eyes, settling yourself against him in relief as he pulls you closer. Gone are all the nerves that have been biting at you all day, and you feel prepared to take on the world (or at least deliver a greeting address) with Alucard in your ring.

#hellsing #hellsing ultimate #hellsing alucard #alucard #alucard x reader #hellsing alucard x reader

[saphirered]

Hi! This is my first time requesting so I hope I'm doing this right :) Could I please request a prequel to Helion's newly mated fic? Maybe how Helion and reader (his mate) met and how their bond clicked? Thank you so so much!

Hello deary! Thank you for requesting and sorry this took a hot minute but finally here it is! 😘

Helion is not a jealous fae. Never has been. Never will be. Selfish at times maybe but only when those selfish desires align with the bigger picture. Perhaps it was a burning selfish desire that irked him on when he saw the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen in the arms of another. He did not wish to act but could not help but imagine himself in the lucky fae’s spot and an intrusive thought in the back of his head saying perhaps he could be. Perhaps he could be his charming self and you’d wrap him around your finger. Perhaps you’d put him in that spot. Perhaps you’d have him right then and there and he would not utter a single complaint. Instead your lips are interlocked with the individual of your desire like so many others around. Hands trace the path of scantily clad skin and you certainly seem to have no objections. Helion wonders how soft your skin must be, what it must feel like to graze his fingertips along your curves and map out every single detail. That’s all it is; imagination because here he is, unable to takes his eyes off you, unable to feel anything but a brewing resentment for that fae you pay so much careful attention to. 

You’re having a damn good time. A getaway. An escape. Unrestricted liberty. You’re enjoying all you find good in life with good company. From the moment you walked into that party you knew this one would make for easy company and you were right. He’s keen on the eyes but a bit simpleminded. Not that it matters. He’s good with his hands and lips. That’s all you care about right now. A lovely escapade and sating of lewd unashamed desire. The mere thought brings a grin to your face. Your companion’s affections turn from your lips, kissing down your jaw and neck, leaving little bites and sucks and soothing them with kisses and a pass of the tongue until you’re gasping and your lips part. Quite satisfying. You make one mistake though. You open your eyes and meet the most intricate of amber gazes on the other side of the room. Those eyes will be haunting your mind, even when they turn away. 

Those amber eyes ruined your night. What felt good before albeit still perfectly satisfying feels lacking a spark of true fulfilment, of true satisfaction. Even when you run away with your eye candy. Even when that companion delivers on every single expectation and then some, something is amiss because whenever you close your eyes, you feel that gaze meet yours. When you run your fingers through your companion’s hair, your mind wanders to what those black strands must feel like. When you trail your fingers along toned muscle the touch seems cold as if you’d expect to feel the warmth of a midday sun under that skin but it simply isn’t there. Those amber eyes, that black hair and that perfect body have forever ruined you in a single gaze. A single gaze. No matter how many nights follow, how much company you enjoy, it’s always lacking that one final piece you cannot place. Without laying a hand on you, from that distance ever too far he’d taken a part of you without even knowing. You’d not seen him since so not even does he grant you the satisfaction of claiming back what is yours. Not even once do you have the pleasure of charming words and perhaps something more should he be willing to indulge. 

It doesn’t stop you from trying to find completion. A desperate attempt perhaps. You dance and sing and play around with any consenting party. No matter what you do, always that one bastard haunts your mind. Even when your lovers take to the raven hair and golden eyes, they’re never truly the same shades, they never hold the same warmth and radiance. Always there is something amiss. The puzzle pieces don’t fit. It might have been days or weeks before finally he graces you with his presence…

Helion was grateful to be whisked away after that fateful night. Any waking moment, any space of mind he found himself daydreaming about you, the way you looked and moved, those passing seconds where you looked him in the eye, where your bliss changed and your lips parted not from the dedication of your lover but simply by noticing him. Helion might find it a stroke to his ego, to have someone turn starstruck at a mere glance but that was not the case, that was not you. You could not place him. In that gaze, that connection from across the room he felt the rays of the sun within his chest, burning and vibrant. Were you just some object of desire he’d have no trouble to occupy his mind and body otherwise. At first he thought this was simply the case but then the feeling did not subside, did not go away at all. It remained strong no matter the passage of time, the warmth faded and he found himself cold in a way no embrace, no hot bath or piles of blankets could banish. 

In the early hours of morning, when all the creatures of the day found their peace he found none. He found only you. He found your beauty in his mind for it could not be present in reality no matter how much he might desire. And then it hit him; this may not be a simple obsession. A curious theory but a theory still. One he would have to test at that. He’d just have to find you…

Another dusk. Another revel. When night takes over, these people of Day must bring their own radiance until the sun takes over once more, until dawn beckons. Until the reality of life makes them regret their decisions or glimmer at the mere thought of them. These are the revels you had enjoyed quite thoroughly and with little regrets or so Helion found out. He’d find you there. Something within him told him that would be a simple truth as if you had told him yourself. It only went to further prove his theory. That feeling was right. 

You dance among the bodies, spin and twirl, and move so graciously, so beautifully. There’s not a single dance partner, the floor shifts time and time again and when couples meet, the share their time; choose to stay or twirl away be that for a lack of interest or with a seductive glance over the shoulder and the invite for something more intimate. It is easy. It is intriguing. You’ve caught many eyes, invited and been invited, snuck off to one of the countless spaces to enjoy some of that hollow affection and touch of a bed partner. The circle has repeated many times over. It’s no surprise when you think you spot him on the edge of the crowd; that ace, that body. Your mind seems to torture you even at times but you’ve always been mistaken; at second glance the face is never the same as the one you both loath and long to see in this crowd. But then you change partners. You feel within your bones the presence of a thousand suns burning bright, that cold that set within your veins suddenly banished and overtaken by the glow of day so bright and raw, yet so inviting and intriguing. 

Helion didn’t know it’d be this bad. He didn’t know that distant hollow, that missing piece could so easily be filled by your sheer presence. He didn’t know he could lack the impulse control when he felt his feet moving and join the dancers. He didn’t know how right of a decision it was until his hand locked with yours only to be parted again at the beat of the music, like steel right from the forge, leaving not but burning. He saw the look in your eyes, those gorgeous eyes that could drown him like the dark depths of the seas; simply mesmerising. He’s at loss for words. He didn’t think beyond this point. He did not think at all if he’s honest but here he is and there you are. You step in again, place that hand in his and spin. The world is but background noise to your presence. The two of you might as well have been the only one’s in the room. An intrusive thought in the back of his mind tells him you could be. He’s the high lord after all. He won’t. He fears his voice might break should he try to speak. He fears he might not get the words out. Thank the Mother you are just as conflicted as he is. Thank the Cauldron both of you are as graceful as you are to not miss a beat. 

“Why have you been haunting me?” You couldn’t stop yourself from uttering the words. Your thoughts spoken out loud like so. You did not intend to do so but something about his presence, it compelled that thought from your lips and you are left feeling a fool. Why is it this amber eyed devil haunts you day and night? You do want answers because if your suspicions are right, and with every passing second they seem to be, then you need to know it to be true. Only he cans et you free. Only he can confirm the suspicions you’ve been trying to deny. 

“Some people start with a simple hello. An introduction maybe.” Helion is glad to find his wit has not failed him. You certainly did not see that reply coming given your soft chuckle, oh how it rushes through his very soul like the winds at the tallest peaks of the palace; a sweet and gentle comfort. 

“I know who you are.” Now that makes him both feel two things. Pride for his reputation precedes him and fear for what you might think of him. Even if another voice in the back of his head tells him not to worry, banishes that insecurity instantly. 

“Then you have caught me at a disadvantage.” You step in close, so close, as do many of the others not nearly ready to for the dance to end, for the partners to switch. You’re but a hair’s breath from him and you feel that touch, that longing finally satisfied as if the world is right once more. What a curse. What a blessing. You just wait for him to disappear into the crowd of people, to not see him again for weeks. Helion. You should call him by the name you know him to carry. You’d refused to name the radiant fae in the hopes the memory would not linger but failed. There’s no escape. But then when he time to switch comes, you feel his hand on the small of your back and you twist a half step out of the way where the two dancers behind you meet instead and you remain with him. You suck in a breath when that touch disappears. You don’t want it to go. 

“You have haunted me for weeks.” Something within your gaze sparks. That spark turns to flame when your palm dances across his cheek. “Excuse me if I make you earn my name.” You have no doubt he has the resources to find out, or already has but you take great satisfaction in the way his jaw slacks and his lips part. You nearly shudder when you feel that breath against the skin of your wrist ever so lightly, and even more so when he cups your hand and brings your palm to his lips, placing a gentle kiss against it. 

“Then I will do whatever it takes to earn your name. I would much desire to use it should you allow me.” The implication is enough to make you melt and you’re surprised how well composed you remain, despite the blood rushing to your head, and the urge to tremble at sheer excitement. It’s an invitation and that’s when you decide this payback is mutually beneficial. When the next switch comes along you’ve guided him away from the dancers. You offer him your hand.

Helion’s head pounds in his ears. He was right. So right. You are the one. He’s truly met his match. You are beyond what he expected. Perhaps he should fear for himself given that look in your eyes that is not but mischief and sweet sweet justice. Then again, he won’t complain. If anything he will take great pleasure in earning the right of your name and once he has, once he’s had you moaning his, he will make sure to use yours like a prayer for you are truly divine and he will worship you to the end of his days if that’s what it takes. He’ll take great pleasure in doing so. He places his hand in yours and like a siren’s call you lead him to his doom, his doom and salvation.

#acotar x reader #helion x reader #acotar #high lord helion #helion acotar #helion spell cleaver #helion x you #acotar x you #acotar fanfiction #acotar fic

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

Held through the darkness - Hannibal x reader.

A/N: Hello!! its bee a while. truthfully, im not doing so hot at the moment and this was written basically as a form of therapy but hey i felt like sharing. Enjoy!!

Warnings: None

Word count: 1781

Masterlist

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You sat and stared out at the empty world ahead of you. Well technically it wasn’t empty. It was bustling with life. You could see an endless row of headlights, streetlamps making the city below you glow. You thought about how there were thousands, if not more, people down there right now. Each with their own individual lives; with their own families, friends, lovers, exes. Each having their own background, a place they came from, a life they’ve lived. Every single person so full with complex emotions and thoughts from every walk of life. So why did you feel so alone? So utterly and painfully abandoned. Your chest felt hollow. There was a gaping whole where something once lived. It had been so long you couldn’t even recall what used to inhabit it. But whatever it was had been robbed from you, leaving you as an empty shell condemned to drift through life in search of a feeling you weren’t even sure existed anymore.

You didn’t feel sad. You didn’t feel anything. Just incomplete. Your mind raced with thoughts, scanning through your memories in search of something to fulfil you once more as you stared blankly ahead of you.

“You’re going to catch a cold if you stay here much longer” A voice came from behind you.

You swirled round, seeing the last person you expected to be in your home.

“Doctor Lecter? What are you doing here?” You queried as the man stood in the doorway that led from your balcony back into your apartment.

“I told you I would come to check on you. After that call we had, I didn’t trust that you were okay. Even if you tried to convince me you were” He stated, his head tilting to the side ever so slightly as he looked at you.

Your brow furrowed. You had called him? When? The last time you remember speaking to him was around 3 weeks ago where you decided to end your sessions with him. Not because you thought you were getting any better, quiet the opposite. But you just couldn’t bare to face him with it. Or anyone for that matter. You’d completely drawn away from the people in your life recently, not knowing how to function around them with such a weight on your soul.

“I called you earlier today, after Will said he saw you at the supermarket. He said you looked distressed, burn out.” He explained, sensing your confusion.

It came back to you as he spoke.

“Yes I remember, sorry. My head just feels a bit…foggy at the moment.” You replied, turning back to face the city in front of you.

The doctor took a few steps, coming to stand beside you.

“You are not okay y/n”

“I’m alive aren’t I?” You joked dryly.

“Being alive is not equivalent to living. You’re simply existing.” His words made your stomach drop, your throat feeling a little tighter than it was before.

“Tell me. What is on your mind?”

Your breath caught in your throat. You didn’t want to talk. You just wanted to rot away into nothing.

“I’m fine. Just tired. I’m sorry you drove all the way here for nothing.” The lack of energy behind your voice made it impossible to convince yourself, let alone convince him.

“Don’t lie to me. I can tell when you’re being honest and when you’re not.” His voice was stern, but with a layer of concern weaved in.

“Y/N”

He placed his hand on your shoulder, turning you to face him. Your eyes dropped as to avoid his gaze. You’ d grown rather fond of Doctor Lecter in your time of being his patient. You found yourself craving his approval, craving his comfort and affection more than you probably should. The thought of him seeing you like this, seeing the lack of life left in you filled you with shame.

“Why did you even come here? I’m not your patient anymore” You muttered, his hand still gently resting on your shoulder.

“I care about you. Regardless of if you’re my patient or not, I want to make sure you are okay”

Your gaze finally met his, sincerity swimming in his eyes. You wanted to believe him, you wanted to accept his words and bare your soul to him. But you just couldn’t. There was a constant nagging in your head that he was only here because he felt he needed to be, out of professional curiosity. Nothing else.

“I am okay. Like I said, I’m just tired. I should probably go to sleep.” 

“y/n-“

“thank you for checking up on me Doctor Lecter. You can go now” You turned to walk away from him, heading back inside.

“No” He said firmly, causing you to stop in your tracks.

You turned once more to face him. “No?”

“No I am not going to leave.”

You were slightly taken aback by his words. “What? Look respectfully, this is my home. And I really just want to sleep so please can you just leave?”

“No.” He replied, taking a step towards you. “I’m not leaving until you talk to me. It is more than evident you’re struggling, and I’m not going to let you drown in this.”

His words were too kind, too caring. It hit you in your chest, sinking down through your stomach. You couldn’t handle this. You need him to go.

“Just leave.” You mumbled, trying to keep your emotions down.

“Talk to me and I will.”

You could feel your anger rising. You weren’t angry at him; you were angry at the world.

“I don’t want you here” You snapped.

“I don’t care” He stepped closer to you once again.

“Get the fuck out of my house Hannibal”

“Tell me what’s wrong”

“EVERYTHING” You shouted, throwing your hands in the air. “Everything is fucking wrong. I am so sick of everything. Waking up every fucking day with this crushing desolate feeling that completely weighs me down. No matter what I do nothing fills it. And if I find something that numbs it for a while, its only every temporary. I am so fucking tired. I am broken and there is nothing I can do to fix it.”

Tears began to flow freely as you continued to rant, your hands threading through your hair.

“I feel like I am going insane every moment of the day. I am so relentlessly burnt out and yet I have no reason to be because  I don’t do anything. I can’t do anything. I just want it all to stop, I just-“

You were cut off as a sob escaped your throat. You fell to your knees, crying harder than you ever had before. Months of pent-up emotion, of fighting down every urge you had came bursting out of you. Your lungs were on fire and your head pounded but you just couldn’t stop. You hadn’t noticed Hannibal sitting next to you until you felt his arms wrap around you, pulling your body against his. Your head crashed into his chest, your hands clinging to his shirt as if it was the only thing keep you afloat. He held you tightly, his hand rubbing gentle patterns across your back as he spoke softly.

“You’re going to be okay. I’m here. Let it out”

You had no idea how long the two of you stayed like that, curled up on the floor of your balcony sobbing into him. You cried until there was nothing left, and your eyes were dry. When you eventually calmed down, Hannibal pulled away from you gently cupping your face to meet your eyes

“I want you to listen to me y/n. Can you do that for me?”

You nodded stiffly as you gazed at him.

“What you’re feeling is real. It is too much for one person to carry alone. I won’t lie to you and tell you there’s an easy quick fix, that will take time. But you need to allow yourself to seek help. You need to share this burden, to allow someone in to guide you through this. It is so easy to let yourself get wrapped up, until your blind to everything except the pain. But my darling, there is so much more. And if you let me, I will be by your side walking with you through it all. Until you see just how fulfilling you can make your life. You will never be alone in this, not as long as I’m around.” His thumb gently caressed your face, the other hand moving to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

The earnest expression his face held, along with the genuine care laced into his tone was enough to make you want to cry all over again. No one had ever expressed such a care for you before. You never realised how much you needed it.

“Why do you care so much? I’m nothing but an ex-patient of yours” Your voice was quiet, if not hoarse from all the crying.

A small smile appeared on his face as his eyes scanned yours, as if he was trying to memorise every detail.

“You are so much more than that to me. Over the time I’ve gotten to know you, you have become a beacon in my life. You make me feel a way I have never felt before. I admire you more than you know. I care for you so deeply my darling. I won’t say its love, because truthfully this is all new to me, but it is most definitely close to it. All I know is that I want to be with you, I want to be the person you come to with everything – whether you’re happy, angry, or feeling the way you do now. I want to be the person you share yourself with. If you’ll allow it.”

Your heart swelled at his confession. For the first time in a while, you felt a genuine smile on your face.

“I don’t want anyone else Hannibal. Only you.” You leant forward, wrapping your arms around his neck as you pulled him close to you.

His arms wrapped securely around your waist, one of his hands threading their way into your hair as he gently massaged your scalp. You melted into his touch, feeling relaxed for once.

“Aš niekada neleisiu tau jaustis vienišam, man brangioji.” He whispered against your hair.

You knew this wouldn’t be easy; even now with Hannibal by your side, this was going to be a hard journey to pull through. But for once, as you sat here cradled in him arms under the night sky, you felt a small glimmer of hope.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

i hope you enjoyed, sorry for the depressing return to posting<3

#x reader #nbc hannibal #hannibal #hannibal nbc #hannibal lecter #hannibal x reader #mads mikkelsen #mads mikkleson

[mexreny]

you can’t trust creators anymore. you literally cannot unless someone makes an allegation, in which you should ALWAYS look at all evidence and arguments before you make an active decision to cut off support or speak against a creator. in this case, an obviously pr-branded ‘apology’ without a single sorry was the only thing Shubble and the community got publicly.

in cases of severe allegations over the years, I will admit I’ve felt uncertain or uneasy about the innocence or guilt or even severity of an important situation. because of CONSTANT STREAM of FALSE allegations made by liars and clout-seeking individuals, the concept of victim became certainly very unsteady. how would you believe an alleger or an alleged just like that when it has become increasingly common for people to create lies in order to RUIN a possible victim or a shitty person’s life? I hope that makes sense.

in the most recent conflict, however, it is without a doubt that Wilbur is completely and utterly guilty of these just foul and disturbing truths that Shubble has revealed. not ONLY does she come forward, as a respectable content creator, but other people like Wilbur’s ex-current friends are as well. it is unrefutable. he has done and continued to do fucked, manipulative, and just terribly wrong things to his “loved ones.”

but don’t create a mob against creators who haven’t yet spoken out. remember you don’t know these people. you have NO idea what they’ve experienced. you have NO idea if certain people are even trustworthy anymore. CONTENT CREATORS ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. THEY ARE NOT YOUR ANGELS. JUST BECAUSE A COMMUNITY THAT YOU ARE APART OF HAS GIVEN THEM A PLATFORM DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE FULLY UPSTANDING HUMAN BEINGS. THEY ARE FUCKED UP LIKE YOU AND I, AND THEY HAVE SECRETS AND MISTAKES JUST LIKE YOU AND I.

the difference is that mistakes are one thing. active choice to abuse is another. and you have NO clue whether someone in a position of power is practicing that. you have no idea who they are.

honestly? I hope he continues getting the help he needs, if he even got any in the first place. It’s just not anyone’s responsibility to fix him and expect him to change. It’s his own. It’s not your problem. It is his. And you as a fan don’t owe him anything. He has become another number in the book of “well, I guess some people we once trusted to have a public platform and not actively harm other people and then refuse to even apologize for their actions really ARE pretty shitty.”

Above all, I know the community will come together to uplift Shubble and old friends. If you haven’t checked Shubble out, go ahead! She’s simply delightful in her streams and creates a comforting atmosphere for her community based on what I have seen myself.

And lastly, I want you to know that it is going to be okay. You are not guilty for ever liking his content. You are not guilty for ever liking Lovejoy. You are NOT GUILTY. this is a moment in time, nearly revolutionary that such a powerful and well loved creator was proven by his own words to have done shit things, and it will be okay in the end. Support the truth, and support Shubble. it. will. be. okay. ❤️

#qsmp #wilbur soot #shubble #By the way #if you’re going to dm me about how you think what I said is weird or shitty #Do it off anonymous #Cause you’re such a perfect knight in shining armor who have never had their words perceived differently than what you intended #Thanks

[warcorrespondence]

Review: Born Ready

Born Ready by makeit_takeit / @makeit-takeit (whose complete works I, Nikki / @gorgeousundertow will now be reading, thank you)

fandom: generation kill

pairing: bradnate

explicit, 98199 words

I have literal pages of notes on this fic - that's how much I loved it. It's an unusual approach, but such a wonderful one, and it's helped me understand these two characters (about whom I had already given a great deal of thought) so much more deeply. Like this is basically canon for me now. It's the long road of how they got to be the people they are before OIF, how they (eventually) come together, and how they stay together.

Spoiler I really do feel you should know before going in: Brad and Nate don’t have so much as a conversation until you’re fully one-third of the way in. (The first one they have with actual dialogue tags, Nate is half naked though so DON’T WORRY THIS FIC WILL DELIVER).

This is actually a spoiler - heavy review, so if you’re not into that, leave now, knowing only this: this fic is incredible, read it immediately.

Born Ready genuinely is a character study, of both of them, the deepest I’ve ever encountered. It explores their (very different) paths to uncovering their sexualities which (another spoiler) they do before they meet. This is not a Brad meets Nate or vice versa and discovers whoops! I’m gay! (The guy I lost my virginity to said he lost his “accidentally" like he tripped over something, and I always think of that….anyhoo).

So there’s a lot of sex with people who aren’t each other, for the first 1/3. But it’s all for a reason, as my favorite kind of sex-in-a-fic is (whether it’s exploring a developing relationship, emotional state, stakes, etc). In this case, it’s character study and if you don’t think a BJ can be character study well you just haven’t read makeit-takeit yet. (And again, DON'T WORRY WHEN THEY DO BANG THEY BANG VERY WELL, IT'S EXTREMELY GOOD YES)

It also skips OIF entirely which I’ll confess I was sad about, because with this level of character study I actually wanted to get makeit-takeit's take on every single scene at least some crucial scenes at least the final unreadable look okay??? But the show is treated as canon we already know rather than something the author needs to fill us in on and contextualize…which, fair! And respect!

Even after they take the first steps they take a long time - A LONG TIME - to really make it work. Which, having understood these characters and their individual fears and hesitations so well, felt absolutely true and right. Frustrating? Yes. But right.

But they do make it work, and it's entirely in character and just the right kind of sweetness - because it's earned.

"I'm flattered, Nate." He looks at Nate resolutely. "But I"m not the guy you want, or-or the guy you should have. If you're honest with yourself, I think you know that." It sounds so final, like the Iceman has fucking spoken, and that's that. Nate can't keep the sneer off his face. "Fuck you." Brad's head snaps up. "Are you fucking-" "No, Fuck. You. Fuck you for not believing you're worth anyone's time - my time - just because some shitty people did a shitty thing to you, once. And fuck you for not trusting me to stick with you even when it's hard. Fuck you for treating me like I'm too fucking fragile to be burdened with any of the shit you carry around with you every day. And mostly, Brad? Fuck you for acting like you're doing this to protect me, when you're just trying to protect yourself."

#generation kill #bradnate #nikkirecs #90k-100k

[fusaes]

Hiii if your requests are open also sorry if they arent you can just completely ignore this message cause u dont have a pinned yet

But can i request platonic friendship headcanons with bachira and isagi?

Thank you in advance

─ BACHIRA ⸜ ISAGI ꒰ა ໒꒱ AEAO

HI BAE !! yes yes and sorry i don't have enough time to make my pinned post but ill for sure make one! also this request was so cute ^^ i couldn't help but think about dynamicduo when i hear them together >< anyways enjoy! . *. ⋆ warnings; nothing really, cute moments with their silly little shenanigans, intentional lower capitals ✧. word count: 475, 366

you almost felt your eardrums burst from meguru's high-pitched scream he let out in your left ear. this car ride was hell, even if there were places worse than hell, it would be crushed in the backseat with isagi and bachira. you could feel your legs cramping from the lack of space isagi's manspreading on the right side. you were inevitably squashed in between them. it didn't help when you were sitting on the hard material of the seatbelt right on your ass.

meguru and isagi's moms offered to drive you three to the arcade because the mall they were going to was awfully close to it. ''gosh.. seeing meguru go out with his friends like this.. makes my heart soft.'' yu's eyes almost water as her hands trembled on the steering wheel. ''mom, don't cry please.'' meguru told his mom, almost feeling embarrassed as his figure only sank further in the seat. you knew bachira was a talented individual and you didn't quite understand what his mom had just said.

isagi looked like he knew this feeling all too well. ''there's nothing to be embarrassed about, meguru.'' isagi's mom butt in as she turned her head to look at the three of you fighting over even just a space to breathe easily in. ''i remember isagi also never been the social butterfly like his dad was. the friends he only ever took home were the soccer team.'' i let out a small laugh as i saw the neon-lit arcade from the road. ''here should be fine, thank you so much for- meguru!'' meguru had already opened the door and dashed inside the arcade.

isagi waited for you to finish your farewells and bid his mom a quick ''goodbye, mom'' too. bachira's mom rolled down the window to give us three a small wave and drove away. meguru looked like a ticking time bomb while looking at what was inside of the arcade. people were scattered everywhere and no space wasn't filled with rainbow blinding lights that only enticed bachira further.

your almost popped out of their sockets once they landed on the bright rainbow glowing sign on top of the building. you weren't the type to go around and hang out at places and waste away the time you could use to be more productive. but since meguru and isagi kindly invited you to hang out together outside bluelock. ''c'mon, y/n! it'll be fun, promise.'' bachira grabs you by your hand and drags you inside of the building to go explore. isagi follows behind and gives you a small smile of reassurance.

''yeah, it would be more worth it to spend all your time outside of bluelock having fun, right?'' you three spot a basketball game and a bumper car area. safe to say, you three almost got kicked out 6 times already.

ㄔ    ִ  alright now onto the headcanons c:

ㄔ    ִ  bachira definitely accidentally threw a basketball at a kid once.

ㄔ    ִ  isagi helped meguru climb the machine to keep shooting the ball inside the ring to get like 1000 tickets or something 💀💀

ㄔ    ִ  isagi knows every single hack to win every prize you wanted in claw games.

ㄔ    ִ  bachira fought a kid to get to play in one of the games; ''you've been in this seat for so long, kid!'' bachira whined while watching the kid stick out his tongue to him, but he bit back by sticking out his tongue back.

ㄔ    ִ  isagi is a boss at those coin pusher machines and always manages to waste every one of your coins but ends up making the whole tower fall

ㄔ    ִ  a worker at the arcane had to hold bachira back and when i tell you they had to HOLDDD him back, i say HOLDDDDD him back.

ㄔ    ִ  like it took them 3 workers to hold him back from knocking a kid out for ruining his win streak or something.

ㄔ    ִ  you and isagi for sure always team up for those zombie gun shooting games.

ㄔ    ִ  bachira would absolutely destroy those DDR machines. (the arrow dance machine where you step on them) like you and isagi had to pry him away from the machine to go check out other games cuz he's been there for like 43 minutes.

ㄔ    ִ  like i can just imagine bachira dancing to one of those hyper-pop songs on the ddr machine.

ㄔ    ִ  you and meguru literally almost broke the wack-a-mole machine cause meguru pulled a mole out of the hole.

ㄔ    ִ  isagi is the type of kid to eat all of the cotton candy.

ㄔ    ִ  bachira definitely climbed on isagi's back while he was rollerskating. the kids were giving them the stink eye while you were literally struggling to stand on your two left feet.

ㄔ    ִ  at the end of the day, you three got kicked out for wreaking havoc in the arcade.

ㄔ    ִ  (you three got banned from it for the rest of your life.)

‧₊˚ ⋅ fusaes 2023 do not copy - a/n: send in an ask to request this with any other duo you want from blue lock c:

#໒ㅤ ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀི ⟢ 𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐃﹒ㅤ #@fusaes #bachira meguru #bachira meguru x reader #bachira x reader #meguru x reader #bachira meguru fluff #bachira fluff #blue lock bachira #blue lock #blue lock fluff #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #bllk #bllk bachira #bllk fluff #isagi yoichi #isagi yoichi fluff #isagi yoichi x reader #isagi yoichi x you #isagi yoichi x y/n #blue lock imagines #bllk imagines #isagi x reader #isagi fluff #blue lock isagi #isagi blue lock #isagi x gn!reader #isagi yoichi x gn!reader #yoichi isagi x reader

[jerzwriter]

The Exes: Trystan & Carolina Edition

Fandom old-timers may remember this template from the summer of 2022 (or was it 2021?); it was created by @jamespotterthefirst as a tool to help us delve into our characters' histories a bit more. Since I plan on expanding my HC for Trystan and Carolina in the near future, so I pulled it out, and once again, it really helped! (Thanks, Bree!). Relationships should never define us, but our actions in and surrounding them say a lot about who we are, and if we let it, they teach us about ourselves. Further, the way people treat us absolutely impacts us, sometimes temporarily, sometimes for good. So, I think exploring helps us get to "know" our characters better.

I highlighted 6 exes for both Trystan and Carolina. I imagine they had many more dalliances, flings, and one-night stands between them, but these are relationships that shaped them in some way - for better or worse - and played a part in bringing them to where they are today as individuals.

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed creating it.

Dahlia Aceves: Dahila grew up in the same Bronx neighborhood Carolina did, but they only met at 16 because they attended different schools. They became fast friends when Dahlia transferred to Carolina's high school. Dahlia was a bit closed off from others, and while she was generally liked, she didn't have a "clique" or fully fit in. Carolina was similar in those regards, and that drew them to one another. Shortly thereafter, their relationship also became sexual but neither had any desire to be in a relationship, so their friends-with-benefits arrangement began and remained on and off for nearly a decade. Everyone knew there was "something" between them, but no one dared to pry. At times, Dahlia was a fixture at Carolina's place, and she still pops by to see Tommy to this day. While neither woman even envisioned a "serious" relationship together in the future, they both thought (to different degrees) that their arrangement might just go on the way it had indefinitely. (Of course, it didn't). Carolina still sees Dahlia around the neighborhood, and they're friendly but not exactly friends. Dahlia never warmed up to Trystan and she tends to ignore him or give him an attitude when she bumps into him. (FC: Lee Rodriguez)

Marcos Candella: Carolina cannot remember a time when she didn't know Marcos. They played on the streets together as kids, went to school together from K-12, and always had each other's backs. When her father was murdered, Marcos checked in on Carolina daily, dropping off some of her favorite treats prepared especially for her by his mom. Their connection was always platonic, but that changed briefly after HS. Carolina was confused about her sexuality. She always believed she was bisexual, but at that point in time, she had only been with other women and felt like she couldn't fully make that determination unless she gave men a shot, too. Also, she also couldn't understand why she enjoyed sex and comradery with partners but couldn't form a romantic attachment to anyone, so she decided to try dating Marcos. The physical attraction was real, as was their long-established bond of friendship, so it was much more than a meaningless fling. When they reached the 6-month mark, Marcos asked her if she felt they had a future, and she said only as friends. She was happy to see he was relieved about her answer. They are still friends to this day and always have each other's backs. They usually forget this brief part of their life together ever happened. (FC: Ismael Cruz Cordova)

Josh Bowlan: After graduating from Hostos Community College, Carolina began working on her bachelor's degree in criminal justice at John Jay College in Manhattan. It was the first time she was outside of her Bronx bubble on a daily basis, and that changed her life drastically. Her on-again-off-again thing with Dahlia was in an off spot after the two women had a big spat, and Carolina was 100% single when she started at John Jay. Josh was the guy everyone wanted to date, and when he pursued Carolina, focusing all his attention on her, it was a bit intoxicating. Despite a little arrogance, he was a good guy and treated Carolina very well, even though they were far from a perfect match. She was still confused about why she couldn't "feel" the same feelings her friends did when it came to relationships, so she mostly played along because she didn't want to feel different. She liked Josh; she enjoyed his friendship, the intimacy, the sex, but that butterfly, I need you and never want to be without you feeling... it just never came for her. Josh sensed it but tried to ignore it. He assumed it would happen in time. Just shy of their one-year "anniversary," Josh stopped by Carolina's place unexpectedly and found her with another woman. He was furious that she was "cheating" on him; she reminded him that they never once said they were exclusive, so she hadn't done anything wrong, but Josh felt it was just "understood." Hurt, he broke things off, and they only saw each other when their paths crossed at school, where things were contemptuous between them. Most people "sided" with Josh, though Carolina's real friends had her back. (FC: Logan Schroyer)

Kayla (Kai) Sato: After Josh, Carolina was pretty certain she wanted nothing to do with relationships. She and Dahlia started up again; she had many short flings and ONS, but for years, relationships were a no-no, and she ran anytime a lover suggested they take things further. That changed a little when she met Kai at a fundraiser during Pride. The two women had many friends in common and were passionate about similar causes. Carolina was drawn to Kai's creative nature, and Kai found Carolina's practicality settling. They started a passionate affair, and Carolina began to think the infatuation she was feeling could be something more, but for Kai, there was no confusion. She was head-over-heels for Carolina from the start. When she told her that she loved her, Carolina chose to be honest. She explained she cared for her and enjoyed being with her, but love wasn't in the equation, and she wasn't even sure it ever could be. Kai said that was fine. She insisted it would come in time, and until then, she "had enough love for both of us." Carolina told her she couldn't make any promises, but Kai chose to live in denial. A few months later, Kai asked Carolina about becoming exclusive, and when Carolina declined, Kai was furious. Shortly after that, Carolina ended things, knowing they wanted very different things. (FC: Karen Fukuhara)

Raul Montes: Enter Raul. Raul was one of Carolina's father's best friend's sons, and they had known each other forever. He also lived in the Bronx as a child but moved away for college and never came back. Six years her senior, Carolina was only 12 when he moved away, and neither gave each other any thought. When Raul moved back to NYC for a career opportunity, he settled on the Upper West Side of Manhattan but would visit his family in the Bronx several times a month. It was on one of those trips when he spotted Carolina, who was in the middle of a spat with a street vendor who was trying to rip her elderly neighbor off. Raul's interest was piqued, and they began talking. When he asked her on a date, she felt something and accepted. It was only in retrospect that she realized that feeling was solely because Raul had a connection to her father, and that was something she desperately craved. Raul was 30 and wanted to find a wife and settle down... and the thought of that alone terrified Carolina, but then again... he knew her Dad. He loved her Dad. Blinded by this, she wanted to see if she could make it work. By this point, Carolina knew she was demiromantic, and when Raul wouldn't slow down the relationship escalator, she explained this to him. If he wanted things to work, he'd have to be patient. She wasn't going to jump into anything just to satisfy him. Raul didn't even know what demiromantic meant, so he did some "research", but ended up mostly on information that suited his needs. On their next date, he told Carolina that he had looked into it, and she was honestly impressed, thinking he cared enough to try to learn more and understand her better, but those hopes were quickly dashed. He told her his "research" found there was really no such thing as being demiromantic. Obviously, she just had commitment issues stemming from her father's murder. He encouraged her to get more "help" so they could move forward. Not wanting to make a scene in public, Carolina smiled curtly and attempted to change the subject, knowing this was their last date. But when Raul didn't take the hint and kept pushing the issue, Carolina told him he was an ass. He smugly replied, "No, I'm not Carolina. You're just confused." She proceeded to pour a pitcher of sangria over his head as a string of Spanish curses fell from her lips, and she walked out, never to see him again. (FC: Anthony Ramos)

Daphne Miller: After Raul, Carolina went into a serious "fuck relationships, fuck people, I want none of this" period. Sex and her friendships more than satisfied her need for intimacy, and she had no desire for anything more. One of her lovers was Daphne, a fellow detective in the NYPD. They worked well together... on cases and in bed and in life. Their shared passion for their jobs, the NY Yankees, and just living the best life they could brought them closer. Daphne loved Carolina very much and would have pursued more with her, but Carolina was upfront about her wishes, and Daphne respected her boundaries. While they were together, Daphne, who was polyamorous, moved in with another one of her partners, but her affair with Carolina continued as it had before. But when Carolina was forced out of the NYPD, it caused tensions in their relationship, eventually leading to its end. At the time, Carolina felt Daphne was being disloyal to her; in hindsight, she can tell that Daphne was just in a terrible position and trying to make the best of it. They had no contact for a long time after their split, but in time, they became casual friends again, sometimes even going on double dates where Daphne often challenged Trystan to drinking match-ups, which she almost always won. (FC: Kim Delaney)

Irena Baciu: As the heir apparent, Trystan was expected to court women from the finest families in Europe and find a suitable wife as soon as his formal studies ended at seventeen. His lack of interest in doing so was of little consequence to his family. After having a bevy of lovers, both public and in secret, he and Irena came up with a pact. A wealthy heiress from a traditional family herself, she was in a similar situation, so they pretended to court while secretly seeing others as well. It got their family off their backs, and the tabloids got a "darling" couple to focus on. It was a win-win. But, they found that they enjoyed each other's company, so their ruse turned into a no-strings relationship. They both knew it wasn't going to last, but they enjoyed it while it did. They remained friends, and Irena was among those who always believed in Trystan and stood by him after Juliana's death. They're still friends to this day and she totally shipped Trystan and Carolina. (FC: Anastasia Kuchinskaya)

Juliana Georgescu: When Trystan refused to find a suitable bride on his own, his family took matters into their own hands and arranged a political marriage with Juliana. It was good for their families and good for Drakovia. Trystan didn't have the will to fight it; if he was going to be stuck in a loveless marriage, he could do worse than his childhood friend, Juliana. They had known each other their whole lives, and he believed they were still friends. He didn't know that Juli had been having a secret affair with his half-brother, Vasili, and she believed Trystan to be a hedonistic, self-entitled lout. Still, she accepted her fate as his future wife because she felt it would be best for Drakovia and would allow her to enact positive changes in the nation. As time progressed, she got to know Trystan better and discovered he wasn't the man she thought he was. Under Juli's influence, Trystan matured and began to take his responsibilities more seriously, and in time, the two fell madly in love with one another. The engagement was no longer solely a political match, and the two looked forward to marriage, starting a family, and ruling Drakovia as husband and wife until that fateful night. Heartbroken, guilt-ridden, and devastated over his true love's death, Trystan was forced into exile and began a new life in New York. (FC: Isla Fisher)

Daniel Berger: When Trystan's abject depression over Juliana's death morphed into plain old depression, Trystan chose to soothe his pain with a hedonistic lifestyle. He didn't believe he was worthy of love, so living the life of excess expected of a rich playboy suited him well. Daniel attended one of Trystan's lavish parties, and the attraction between the two was instant. Their passionate love affair began that very night, and before long, Daniel had a key to the prince's apartment - with strict rules about what days he could use them. It was all about sex and fun at first, but Daniel was a sensitive soul and could sense the pain Trystan was in. He was there for him, and his tenderness, warmth, and understanding soothed Trystan's mind, body, and soul. Before long, they were exclusive. But Trystan was not out yet, so their love had to remain a secret to most. Just shy of a year after dating, Daniel was offered a lucrative position in Paris. Knowing Trystan couldn't leave the States, Daniel told him he'd turn it down in an instant if they had a future, but Trystan wasn't prepared to be open about his sexuality. Further, Trystan still didn't feel like he deserved real love, and he knew he might not be able to give Daniel what he so richly deserved, so they parted tearfully but amicably and remain close friends to this day. (FC: Chris Salvatore)

Augustine "Gus" Riccio: Trystan let Daniel go, but his loss impacted him more than he had anticipated; he found himself sad and lonely. Most of his nights were spent with a bottle of whisky and memories of Juliana and Daniel; he was beginning to spiral. That's when Gus stepped in. One of Manhattan's best-known party planners, he made himself indispensable to the wealthy prince. Planning one huge bash after another. Their business arrangement quickly turned into a personal one, and Trystan allowed himself to believe it might be real. Eight months after they began dating, Trystan received an envelope containing compromising photos of him and Gus. The sender threatened to out Trystan unless he transferred a large sum of money to an offshore account. Using his connections, Trystan found out that Gus, who was pretending to be outraged by the blackmail, was actually the one behind it. With proof in hand, Trystan tossed him to the curb and threatened to make his life unbearable if he went to the press. (FC: John Mayer)

Alicia Porter: Trystan was done—more than done at this point. Worried about him, his sister Marguerite began dragging him everywhere she went, including plenty of fashion shows. At one such show, he was introduced to Alicia, one of the newer models, and sparks flew. Trystan made it clear, he wasn't looking for love, just a lover and sometime companion, and Alicia was fine with that. They partied, traveled, and slept together; the fun and levity were just what Trystan needed. Six months after they met, Alicia told Trystan she was pregnant and planned to have the child. He wasn't thrilled but wasn't about to back away from his responsibility. He suggested Alicia move in with him, and that they should try to see if their relationship could be more for the sake of the child. But, at minimum, they could raise their child together. Unfortunately for Alicia, her acting skills weren't as good as she believed, and before long, Trystan realized she wasn't pregnant at all. She had been hoping for a lump sum payment to "take care" of the non-existent "situation" and go away. Of course, they were over at that point. (FC: Millie Lewis)

Lucas Bernard: After Gus and Alicia, our poor prince was 150% completely done. He trusted precious few people, but among those few were his good friend Lucas. He met Lucas years before when he first moved to NYC. Lucas was kind enough to show him around and let him know he had a friend in his new hometown. Their friendship had deepened over the years, and Lucas was there for him after Daniel and Gus, and he was there for him again after Alicia. Their long talks led to the two men developing deeper feelings for each other and they embarked on a very close friends-with-benefits relationship. Lucas wasn't interested in settling down with anyone, and Trystan wasn't interested in anything more at that time. While neither expected the relationship to last forever, that doesn't mean they didn't take it seriously. It was filled with trust, kindness, compassion, and love. It was during this period that Trystan found the strength to be open about being bisexual. The two men briefly discussed more of a future together, but neither took the conversation too seriously. After about a year, they decided to remain just friends, but Lucas had helped Trystan heal and realize everyone wasn't to be mistrusted; there were still genuine people in the world. Lucas has since moved to LA, so they don't see each other as often as they might like, but they still consider each other dear friends and will always be a part of each other's lives. He and Carolina get along famously. She teases that she only adores Trystan a little more than Lucas. (FC: Keiynan Lonsdale)

Carolina would gladly save any of her exes - even Raul, who she doesn't care for one bit; she's just not that kind of person. But she took the assignment seriously and limited it to one. She chose Marcos because he's been a friend since they were children and has been there for her even in her darkest days.

Trystan may no longer be with Daniel or Lucas, but he considers them to be two of the most important people in his life, so it was an easy answer (though he wouldn't leave Irena out to die either!)

They both dislike Raul the most of Carolina's exes, while Trystan dislikes Gus and Alicia equally; Carolina gives an edge to Gus.

Carolina is still friendly-ish with Dahlia too, but since she can't stand Trystan, it causes some friction.

Who the family liked the most was a no-brainer for Trystan. After all, they didn't even know about most of his lovers. It was slightly more difficult for Carolina to answer, as she hadn't been terribly serious with any of her exes, and her family didn't get to know them well, but Marcos was beloved by them on his own, so she picked him.

"Happiest with" was also a no-brainer for Trystan. After all, if Juliana hadn't died, he had hoped to spend his life with her. It was a much harder question for Carolina, but she selected Daphne because Daphne loved and respected Carolina for who she was and never pressured her to become or give more.

But Daphne was also Carolina's most difficult break-up. Partially because it was tied into her departure from the NYPD, but mostly because Carolina really liked and cared for Daphne and missed her when it was over.

Trystan selected Gus as his worst break-up because he felt so betrayed. He thought Gus cared for him, and the realization that he was being used all along hit him like a ton of bricks. It made Trystan doubt himself in ways he hadn't before.

Carolina realized none of her exes was particularly funny, but that's OK. Trystan makes up for it in spades. Daphne was sharp as they came, so she was the smartest. Marcos was the kindest to her.

Juliana was easily the funniest and brightest of Trystan's exes. He would say kindest, too, but Daniel had an edge because his love and kindness to Trystan were so selfless. He gave without expectation or agenda from the start, and he was always honest & trusted Trystan. While Juli was very kind, and their love grew, their relationship didn't have all of those elements from the start.

Why Dahlia and Daniel for kiss? They'd both say because they were fucking great kissers. Marry was easy for Trystan, but Carolina was surprised to find her visceral answer was Daphne. Carolina chose Raul for kill, making it clear that she really wouldn't kill him, but maiming didn't sound so bad. Trystan chose Gus and said killing seemed perfectly suitable.

They both meet their exes, who remain friends in their lives. Marcos and Daphne both liked Trystan, and Dahlia tolerates him on occasion when needed. Irena, Daniel, and Lucas all get along well with Carolina, but she and Lucas are the closest of the three.

Thank you for checking this out and if you have any questions about this, feel free to shoot me an ask!

#crimes of passion #trystan thorne #carolina rose #m!trystan thorne x f!mc #trystan x carolina #trystan and carolina hc #their exes

[natasha-in-space]

hihi!! I've missed reading your writing so much, so I'm here to request Saeyoung and an MC who is very sleepy and stressed/short tempered for some odd reason? Maybe MC has some kind of stress and doesn't want to tell him, but eventually gives in after maybe breaking down? idk I love the way you turn a comfort into an angst then back into a comfort, so I trust your writing flair! <3

Ohh, this is such an interesting request! I decided to put this one some time after the SE, once Saejoong becomes too much of a threat for twins to ignore. I believe it'll be a stressful time period for everyone involved, and some issues may arise. It was fun to write out a possible argument like this.

"Where were you?"

You had to fight the urge to wince at your own uncharacteristically sharp tone of voice, as you stood there in the doorway, keeping your hands safely hidden inside of your pockets in an effort to hide just how much they were trembling. Truth is, you didn't want to be angry with Saeyoung. You didn't want to act out so harshly and accuse him of something like this.

All you really wanted to do was run up to him and take care of every single individual scrap and bruise your eyes could see, only to kiss them all away once you're finally done.

But, you were too upset to care. Even right now, when you were actively trying to stand up to yourself and your needs, you felt just as torn and painful as ever. Is what you're doing... truly the right thing to do here? What if he lies to you again?

You knew he was only trying to protect you, but, God... You hated being left in the dark like this. Their father was a dangerous vile man, and you understood why he'd want to put some distance between you so as to not put you at any risk. But, didn't you all promise to fight together from now on? You were terrified of loosing him and knowing that you were helpless to stop any harm coming his way.

A battle against Saejoong is not going to be an easy one, you knew that. However, it was breaking your heart to see your beloved Saeyoung putting himself in danger without any regard for his own safety, or your feelings on the matter. And it's not just you who is feeling this way. Saeran was struggling just as much with this complex dilemma putting a rift inside of your small family.

All you wanted was for Saeyoung to understand that there were people who cared about him. People who didn't want to see him hurt like this.

All the older Choi could do was awkwardly shift from one foot to another, clearly sensing the tension practically oozing off of you in waves. He knew that he was in the wrong here. You could see it in the way that he was avoiding looking you in the eye, giving out a small nervous chuckle to collect himself before finally giving you a reply. "I know this looks bad... But I got a hold of some integral information that could be crucial to us in the future. I couldn't let it slip away... I'm sorry, there was no time for me to tell any of you."

"So you just- Drove away, knowing that you're putting yourself in danger, without telling any of us in advance? Do you have any idea how much of a hard time Saeran is having because of you?" You couldn't keep your voice from cracking, which only made you feel more and more frustrated, both with this sad situation and yourself. God, why can't you even get angry at him properly? You didn't want to start crying your eyes out in front of him now, not when you so desperately needed to address this issue as soon as possible. Before it was too late, and something bad did really happen. "...Do you have any idea how much of a hard time I'm having...?"

His gaze noticably softened at your vulnerability, his voice turning serious. "Y/N, I'm sorry... I know I screwed up. I should have warned someone in advance, or at least wrote you a message, or something. But, the important part is: I'm okay. See? It's only a couple of bruises, I'm totally safe. Compared to some other missions I took part in? This one was one of the safest! I promise this won't happen again... Just, please don't waste your energy on something like this. I survived under some very extreme conditions in my time. I'm going to be alright. Hackers are like cockroaches, remember?"

"Stop saying things like that!" This time, you did sound very angry. What's ironic, is that your anger was no longer directed at him. You were angry at his words. At the way that he was talking about his own safety, as if it was nothing important. Comparing himself with a disgusting insect, so far removed from the way that you've viewed him. Your trembling hands clenched into tight fists inside of your pockets, a heavy lump quickly forming on the inside of your throat, hot tears clouding your vision and distorting Saeyoung's increasingly worried gaze, which only made you feel even more bitter.

He comes all bruised up and probably exhausted from a dangerous mission, and what gets him all worried is you crying. That's so much like him. Small part of you even wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of it.

"Y/N..." Shaking your head furiously, you took a quick step back, putting one of your hands in front of your face to shield him from your line of sight. You hated the way that your heart clenched at the softness in his hushed voice, at the way that your name sounded as it escaped past his lips. So vulnerable and caring. You heard him take a few careful steps towards you, before stopping just about a meter away from you. A couple moments of tense silence followed suit, interrupted only by your occasional quiet sniffing as you did your best to hold back on the tears. "Y/N, I'm sorry... Really, I'm okay. There's... There's nothing for you to worry about now. I know this must have been really scary for you, and I know that I messed up, but right now I'm here, with you. Please, just don't cry... I promise you it wasn't anything dangerous this time around."

This time, you were the one that took another step forward, feeling fed up with the way that he continued to just put himself down in front of you, without even noticing just how wrong his words really were. Ignoring the messy tears now rolling freely down your cheeks, you grabbed onto his bruised arms, bringing them up into the light to showcase each individual injury, however small it may be. Every single cut and bruise felt like a tiny needle being prickled right into your heart. You hiccuped: "You're hurt! What do you mean 'there's nothing for me to worry about', Saeyoung!? If this mission wasn't a dangerous one, then what should I expect once the time for a dangerous trip finally comes? Of course I'm crying - I... I love you, you idiot! God, I've been worried sick about you! Treasure yourself more, you... you..."

You couldn't finish your sentence. No insults were coming to mind. And you didn't want to insult him. All of this pent up anger and frustration was never directed at Saeyoung himself. Deep down, you weren't at all angry with him, you were concerned about him. You wanted him to treasure himself and keep both his body and mind healthy and safe, not only for you and Saeran, but for himself as well. Seeing him do the opposite of that... It hurt too much for you to bear.

"...I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize! This isn't about me, ugh, I'm just- I'm just so frustrated, and stressed, and..." You let out a shaky exhale, blinking away a few stray tears still clouding your vision. His hands felt warm in your grasp. You held onto them tighter, tenderly brushing the rough skin of his palm with your thumb.

You were so stupid...

"-And it was wrong of me to make you feel all of these things, just because I thought it wasn't a big deal." Saeyoung finished for you, slowly resting his forehead onto your own and making you finally meet his sorrowful golden gaze. Seeing him safe and sound, feeling the warmth of his skin so close to yours, all of it only made you want to burst into tears for the second time today. "I promised you that we'll be a team from now on, and I messed up that promise. And I promised to Saeran not to go away and decide things for him, too. I messed that up just the same. Of course you're worried and upset... All I wanted was to protect what's most precious to me, but... In the process, I only hurt you both. I'm sorry. I'll... I'll try to be better from now on."

Sighing, you closed your eyes, apprehensively leaning into his touch and letting some of the today's tension finally leave your body, much to your relief. Still, this doesn't mean that everything is completely okay just yet. "I want you to treasure yourself more... Treasure yourself just like I treasure you and you treasure me. Treat yourself with care and love, don't throw away your safety so easily. Please... Don't put yourself in danger so carelessly for us. There are people who'd... who'd hate to see you hurt, Saeyoung."

"I know. I'll try. I promise."

A sense of solace washed over you at once, laying heavy on your trembling limbs. Still, despite your quickly approaching tiredness, you managed to smile, ever so slightly, tilting your head just enough to seal your lips in a brief, but vulnerable kiss. "You don't have to face the world alone now... Please, never forget that. We're going to get through this. Together."

#mystic messenger #mysmes #mysme #mm #saeyoung choi #saeyoung x reader #707 #707 x reader #luciel choi #luciel x reader #and sorry this one took so long i had a busy week 💀

[takeyourcyanide]

I am aware that I just posted about my appreciation for schizospectrum and such yesterday, but it’s something I’ve never really gotten to speak about, and there’s still some more I’d like to say (whether anyone gives a shit or not lmao). Even as a small child, I remember finding solace in schizophrenic individuals. I remember, despite never having viewed myself as being human, the schizophrenic population being one of the few groups of people (including schizoids and aspd individuals) I found even mildly relatable. When around them in some way, I felt almost at home - something I’ve never actually felt. And while this did bring me a small sense of comfort, it also seemed to scare me greatly. Every time I watched some sort of video, read an article or paper, or watched a game pertaining to the schizophrenic experience, it tended to shake me to my core, because it felt like what I was trying to (or, really, a massive portion of what I was trying to) desperately to hide for my entire life was being shown, revealed to every single person on earth. It felt as though someone had seen a part of my soul for the first time. Which, I understand that some may view that as something I should be concerned about, but I spent too much time as a little kid wondering if my grandmother’s condition had been passed down to me. I’m starting to think I just stole or was placed into the body of some fetus in its mother’s womb (which is something I can only seem to genuinely tell, and not make any light of, to psychotics). And honestly, even posting this shit as I have before leaves me feeling a certain feeling I don’t want to label as being paranoia, but there’s no other way to describe it. This is probably the only place I’ll ever talk about it.

I have almost been on this planet for sixteen years now. Once I turn sixteen, that will mark a full decade since I first began really “seeing things,” “hearing things,” etc., that it seemed no one else saw, heard, smelled, felt, tasted, etc. Or (I’m stealing this from CannibalNightmares) “tripping sober.” Though I remember being untrusting of everyone for genuinely as long as I can remember. I didn’t even trust my own parents. But to be fair, I think I was being pretty reasonable in my so called “paranoia.” I had that shit right. But what kind of three year old thinks everyone is plotting against them LMAO Everything else was still there. The seemingly dead people and demons following me came later though. Perhaps it lied latently within me. I truly do not know how I’m still standing LMAO.

#i am rambling #i am so tired #schizophrenics #aspd people are also very relatable #and the schizoids #the extremely mentally ill people are my people #I feel rather at peace with them #personal rant #rant post

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck Week 2024

Day 6 - Favorite Quote: "Let's enjoy life"

Is it cheating to use a quote from the author rather than from the series itself? It better not be, cus for all of the quotes from this series that rattle around in my brain, either because they're extremely poignant ("What kind of man wants to see the woman he loves suffer?") or stupidly funny ("You not telling me was a test, wasn't it?" "Yes." "You're lying, aren't you?" "Yes."), this summation of the series posited by Tozuka's editor is the one that actually changed me

That may seem hyperbolic for a three-word quote, but ever since I saw that quote, it really has altered something in my brain chemistry. Like a Negator reinterpreting the meaning of their Rules, my whole worldview changed, at least subtly, when I heard that quote

Naturally it changed my approach to reading UU, as every scene, every moment, every quote, every panel suddenly became about reinforcing the idea that life is something to be enjoyed with other people. It's incredibly clear that this philosophy is the driving force for every single decision in the narrative, with every action that the main cast takes (and possibly even the villainous cast with recent revelations) being directly influenced by the goal of happiness, the search for the Greatest Life

Beyond that, though, I've found that it's influenced my daily life as well. In much the same way that Dungeon Meshi fans have an inner Senshi that reminds them to feed themselves, I now have an inner Tozuka that reminds me to find the joy in whatever I'm doing. Whether it's to remember the purpose of why I'm doing something in the first place or to convince me that the effort isn't worth it and I should stop, the maxim to enjoy myself gives me the clarity and perspective to focus on what matters

It's not always easy. Sometimes life just hits you a little too hard and you can't remember the words of wisdom that would help you through the rough patch. But remembering that the whole point of life is to enjoy it, to be around people you can enjoy it with, eases the burden a bit. It redirects your energy towards trying to be happy rather than trying not to be sad

Fiction is a source of comfort for people. Whether it's seeing people going through the same problems they are and overcoming them, seeing people who look like them thriving when they themselves otherwise can't, or even just hearing a quote that resonates with them, the escape into fantasy should, ideally, give you something to latch onto and bring back with you into the real world. It can be something simple, like a superhero story equipping you with the courage to stand up for yourself, or a romance showing you how to be open with your emotions, but the best stories always leave you better than they found you

I've always believed that the purpose of life is to enjoy it, but I don't think I ever quite put it in those terms or thought about it that concretely. It was more just a general feeling, an implicit understanding that a life without happiness can hardly be called living, but once I read Undead Unluck, it became much more than that. It became an active choice. I've decided to live my life in a way I can enjoy, even if all that means is appreciating the moments where I'm just relaxing instead of "living life to the fullest." I don't have to see everything the world has to offer, I don't have to push myself to achieve every dream I've ever had, but I can't beat myself up for not doing those things either. You can't enjoy life if you're too worried about not enjoying life enough, now can you?

To truly get the most out of life, we have to be willing to live it, and on some level that means accepting who we are as individuals and meeting ourselves in the middle. It's fine to push yourself, but if you push yourself to the point of misery, then there's no point to it. Some of you even suggested that very thing to me when I felt like my UU anime reviews were getting too repetitive to be fun. You all, as my community, actively tried to help me break my own pattern of unenjoyment. I don't know if I ever said it, but thank you for being there for me. Thank you for helping me to remember to enjoy myself. I hope that this post will help do the same for you

I'll see you all again tomorrow for the final day of UU Week 2024. After that, and until next year's celebration:

Let's enjoy life

#undead unluck #fouryearsandananime #uuweek2024

[goodcarefields]

OOC: Had to make a post addressing this because I was having a good day until I was forced to deal with the audacity of some people. First of all, I'm not a proshipper. Not once in this blog did I ever claim to be. I personally don't think it's something that had to be said. Having my art be tagged with that ship is absolutely disrespectful in my eyes and, I mean this in the kindest way possible, I do not want any relationships depicted in the story now and in the near future to be treated with that sort of inappropriate romance. If there's anything I won't approve, it's definitely that. Second of all, you've all noticed at this point that I don't tag my posts with DNI. That's because I always felt this should go without saying. I shouldn't have to add that to all my posts for people to understand pedophilia, fictional or not, is not something I want associated with my story. Neither me nor the author deserve to be considered at fault for certain individuals' WRONG assumptions and it's shitty to be blamed for that sort of nonsense. If you're looking at the art and the story we're working so hard on and perceiving some of it as "Maxvid", then that's an issue with YOU, not with us. I refuse to have to make the obvious clear with every post that I make. Take this single post as your only warning. We do not create adult/minor content and we do not tolerate anyone who sees our content that way.

#camp camp #campcamp