#not putting this in the tag because this is just me venting | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ghastlyaffairs · 2 days

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for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

#hs #homestuck #dirk strider #eye strain #probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!!#anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags #so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse #and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol #also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold #though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk #speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least #the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an #and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you #imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting #and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive #uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember #and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags #do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would ->#wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts #beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it #also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa #sigh poor thing #this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm #also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week #(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag.#and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!)#update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic #this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah

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ottosbigtop · 1 month

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Something about mistranslations and perspectives and trying very very hard.

#vent post #cw blood #ask to tag #I don’t post vent art because I don’t really draw vent art!#And I don’t always like the feeling of posting vent stuff online.#but idk. Something something I don’t just post here to be consumed I have like emotions and such.#ironically enough I feel like I avoid putting my own emotions in a lot of my art. Strange that!#So maybe this is me trying to change that. Idk.!

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zhongrin · 3 months

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I assume you got hate for that L&D ask? I'm sorry that was done. Feel better soon. Maybe say less next time.

i appreciate your kind words, thank you. however, while i'm sure you had the best intention with this, i don't think i will 'say less'. this is my blog, my space, and as long as i'm not actually causing harm to anyone or anything along that line, i think i'm allowed to have some degree of freedom regarding saying what i like/dislike and setting my boundaries. i'm sorry, but i'm not an influencer, nor a public figure who has the responsibility to spread positivity and be a role model to you all. i try as much as i can, of course, but that's not the purpose of this blog. i'm just a human being who needed an outlet for writing and wanted to connect with like-minded people.

what part was not 'right'? that i expressed, in my own blog, how i didn't want to try out a game because one of the reasons is i find the graphics of the fictional characters off-putting, when asked? that i likened a fictional game art style to a different franchise and objects you see all the time in adult site ads? that i never said anything about the people who do like the game and told them "i'm happy you found a game you like"? that i never, not even once, went to other people's posts or blog who posted that game's content to ruin their fun like a bastard? that i actively chose to use tumblr's filter instead? that even if the filter didn't work, i chose to scroll and ignore instead of bitching about it?

pray tell, what did i do wrong? why should i say less? since when am i not allowed to dislike things?

and a public psa ー i'm sorry, but bluntly speaking, if you take an affront when I expressed MY own opinion, WHEN PROMPTED, WITHIN MY OWN SPACE (and god forbid you retaliate like that anon(s?) by spamming me to shut the fuck up and kill myself), then that's really not my problem. it's an art direction, for god's sake. i adore zhongli, who gets memed and made fun of as a cockroach all the time; you don't see me screaming at people to stop.

learn that people may not like the things you like. learn to agree to disagree. learn to treat others as fellow human beings with likes and dislikes. learn to separate fiction from reality.

and seriously, if you're annoyed with my rambles or 'babblings' or the interactions with my friends, tumblr has a filter and block function. it's just a simple google away. give some peace to your own mind.

#minors dni #rin answers #rin is having tea with: daydreams-and-wonder #and to clarify. i'm not mad at you daydreams-and-wonder!!#i truly appreciate the well wishes #but i had to get this out of my system because it's just so ridiculous that this is happening imo #cw vent in following tags #then again #excluding my actual friends. out of 8.5k of people following me i wonder if even one percent of you actually think of me as a human being #and not just a blob in your phone who churns out somewhat decent content every now and then #or some sentient hybrid between a journal or twitter you could just go anytime to feed your need for validation and attention one sidedly #or an entertaining monkey you put on a stage to watch just for the fun of it only to 'cancel' the moment i 'slip up'#maybe it's my pms. maybe i'm just stressed rn. or maybe it's long time coming #but i'm not just tired anymore. i'm getting disgusted of this treatment

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severeweatheralert · 2 months

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emo on main what else is new

#im good just needed to vent so uh made That #itll remain Sketchy because this is as much effort as im gonna put in it because i wanna do something less bleak #anyway #yeah its edgy as hell but im gonna put all the art tags on it anyway fight me #emo art zoomies #my art #digital art #comic art #sketch #visual diary #visual poetry #back to writing job apps tomorrow :)))))))#tumblr is suggesting i tag this as sadcore #have i found my people #we'll see

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cryptcatz · 2 months

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so sick and tired of constantly stressing over the thought that the people that love me actually don’t or they will inevitably get sick of me eventually because i am inherently unlovable. why can’t my brain just let me be loved in peace? why must i be scared the whole time, waiting for the moment when they abandon me? why can’t i just bask in it while it lasts?

#im perpetually terrified that my partner has only settled for me and will get sick of me eventually.#nothing about him even begins to imply this but im worried about it all the time #i feel like this about friends too. people tolerate me. but im never anyone’s first pick #personal #hm not sure what to tag #mental illness #actually depressed #insecurity #actuallyautistic #< since a lot of my autistic traits are what make me feel just barley tolerated #autism #actuallyadhd #tired of crying to myself cuz i feel so worthless and inherently awful + broken #abuse recovery #doesn’t help that my parents have told me that no one will put up with me or love me like them #because of me and my physical disability/chronic illness #vent #sorry im just. having A Time rn

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dawnthefluffyduck · 4 months

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Sunday doodles (and weirdly colored duck)

#yeah i think I'm gonna have a church vent on my alt #I was just gonna put it in the tags but it might be a bit long #i dont have a choice but to stay at home because even making more per hour than my mom i still cant afford to move out #but holy shit i think living here is gonna drive me insane #ducks #sunday ducks #sunday doodles #kris #susie #ralsei

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dimonds456 · 10 months

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so. apparently i'm malnurished. (vent/PSA below)

Protip: when you move out to live on your own, DO NOT only eat microwavable food. This will actually kill your body.

I am now at a point where I cannot eat anything that has preservatives or too much sodium (salt) in it. I do not know how to cook for myself, and am now living on nightmare mode because my brain is actively rejecting anything I eat that isn't fresh. I've been okay so far, but my weight, strength, general brain-ing, and other disabilities have all been on a steady decline since I moved out of my parent's house two years ago.

My mental state has also been spiraling with it. My anxiety is 10x worse than it's ever been in my life, causing me to panic over the smallest little things for no real reason. Now that I know that my diet has been slowly killing me, this makes sense.

It also explains why I'm so fucking cold all the time, or why all my symptoms for all of my disabilities have gotten worse. I cannot even take my 5-minute walk home from work without being winded, or even play piano because my arms will hurt from holding them out for too long, simply because I do not have enough energy/strength in my body because I wasn't eating correctly.

This time last year I was convinced I was going to die, and part of the reason why was because A) I was on the wrong dosage of methamizole (which I need to live) and B) I kept missing doctor's appointments. And, now, apparently C) because all I'd been eating at the time was those $1 pot pies and Ramen food packs.

I physically cannot eat frozen foods anymore, I actively cannot. Like literally cannot, my body won't let me even swallow it.

I'm literally living on Sudden Death Mode because this has been building for two years and I never fucking realized until about a month and a half ago, and didn't do anything about it until last fucking week.

Don't do this. PSA.

I now have to speed-learn how to cook my own meals, by myself, while juggling work and taking into account how many spoons (read: energy) I have for that day and trying to just make it. If I don't have the energy to cook anything, then I won't have any food for the next day, and then that'll make me have even less energy.

I'm realizing now that this shit, this shit right here, is probably the core of why I've been acting so off recently. It all stems back to what I've been eating. It's been actively affecting my brain for TWO YEARS, like no shit I don't feel as creative as I did before I left, I've been eating nothing but garbage and now my body is starting to rot with it!

Hopefully I can get the hang of cooking fast, otherwise I am fuuuucked.

#dimond speaks #vent #food #nutrition #please read this if you can. i put it under a read more because i know shit like this can make people uncomfortable/squicked #but honestly i think bringing attention to this could save a life.#I just gotta find a different way of phrasing it and i'll make a different post that wont be a vent #but right now i am. not in a good place fgshdjak #also yes you can reblog this #and yes you can ask me to tag something

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h8ani · 2 months

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I should not be this chronically exhausted both physically and mentally at this age.

#today I have been put thru the ringer and I am not ok #I’m tired of everyone and their momma istg #I wanna cry but also have no right to cry #I’m venting now in the tags just ignore me please #but FUCK #when do I get a break with this shit show I call my life #have no money yet whenever I’m sad I spend my savings to make me feel better #I hate my job and wanna call out but also know I can’t because it’ll reflect my rent check #Cali is too expensive and health insurance is a joke #kinda wanna sell all my funkos now because I’m over my bad spending habits #wanna go to school but that costs money #kinda wanna get a one way plane ticket and not tell anyone #and then there’s my mom crying her heart out because of her pos husband who wants to say mean vile things to her #hearing your mom cry is not a good feeling

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frecklystars · 2 months

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I’m so sad I won’t be able to watch the Oscars until I’m home from my trip in the third week of March ☠️ the whole world would have seen I’m Just Ken by then and I’ll be left behind 😭😭

And it’s not just “wah im gonna miss a show” bc I don’t rly care about the show itself necessarily. This is my main F/O and I won’t be able to see him but other ppl will. I have felt so disconnected from Ken. I’ve gotten a handful of inbox messages where ppl say “oh i have him call ME his sweet girl now because of your comic” or ppl will tag my ship art with Ken as “oh that’s ME and Ken” and it hurts. I’ve said multiple times I’m not comfortable sharing F/Os but ppl just? Don’t care?? My self insert isn’t somebody for you to project onto, holy shit why is that so hard for some ppl to comprehend

Now when he calls me sweet girl in my fics/drawings I don’t feel anything anymore, I’ve tried making comics and I feel absolutely nothing from him, it doesn’t feel special anymore bc so many people keep self projecting onto my self insert as if she were an “x reader” experience. I’ve felt disconnected from Ken for a couple of weeks now and I’ve been trying so hard to feel good with him again but I can’t. I’m so numb. I don’t want to lose him and the fact that the self shippers who openly project onto my stuff will see him singing live, but I won’t, feels like another major step backwards away from him, if that makes sense. My ship with him doesn’t feel special anymore. I need these characters so badly, I don’t have anybody else if I don’t have my Ryan F/Os and I don’t want to go back to months ago when I had absolutely nothing to hold onto and I was fighting every day just to stay alive. I’ve had special interests completely ripped from me due to abuse and I can’t go back to feeling as bad as I did last year, I had never felt worse and I’m so scared of feeling that way again. I need my F/Os I need Ken and I’m so far away from him now I don’t feel his love for me anymore and it’s terrifying bc last year was the worst year of my entire life and I don’t want to go through my flashbacks and nightmares all by myself, I don’t want to go back to constantly planning my own demise when my trauma was so fresh and I had nothing to comfort me. I jolted awake from more ptsd nightmares today, which has been nearly an everyday ordeal for a year, and I wanted to think of Ken comforting me like I usually do but I didn’t have the heart to do so. I feel so unloved and replaceable the way ppl easily replace my S/I in all of my posts, I don’t believe he’d care for me anymore.

I keep having meltdowns bc the thought of losing F/Os all over again during a time when I’m STILL in such an unsafe situation shakes me up so bad and I don’t know how to solve this problem. I need him with me I need comfort from these characters but I don’t feel connected with them anymore bc I’ve associated them with a dozen other people. At this point I’m not really upset about missing Im Just Ken, im upset about the fact i just feel nothing whatsoever and watching that live could have helped a little but I won’t be able to access it until other people have already seen it, and it won’t feel special anymore. And my ship with him just in general doesn’t feel special anymore, none of them do, and I’m scared and devastated and I don’t know how to fix it

#vent #whatever I’ll just cry about it and delete this later #I don’t want to fucking hard block every self shipper who dumps their tags onto my posts but god. you just don’t do that!!!#it’s common courtesy!!! i can’t share f/os I’m fucking sorry I can’t bc then I’m gonna lose them!!!! and I lost *everything* last year #I can’t lose Ken too but I’m scared I already did #and I want to go offline but I can’t I have to do commissions 😭 because I’m broke asf I can’t afford groceries #I wanna rip my hair out #ppl who didnt follow me last year + didn’t see how bad I was doing May-July have no idea #‘I wanted to die I felt so bad I was unsafe and stalked’ is a fucking understatement and I lost F/Os who were so important to me #and the idea of losing Barbie/Ken scares me to death #I don’t want to go back to feeling as horrible as I was 7 months ago I can’t do it. i can’t do it but I feel him slipping from me #and I wouldn’t if ppl just!!! would stop!!!! tagging my OWN ART as their self ship!!! tagging my stuff as theirs!!!#putting ship tags all over my own posts that are personal to me my god please I’m so tired

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mayathescientist · 7 months

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wyd when both alternative versions of you are terrible fucking people in their own respective ways but they're both hotter and more successful than you (yeah this is like the different simons from fionna and cake but for my oc)

#maya posts #maya art #maya's aa oc tag #bleh idk what else to put here #maybe i can just vent #since idrk if anyone reads these #im kinda upset that even when my art kinda blows up it ends up being forgotten after a while anyway #and people pretty much never have anything to.. Say?#that must mean something but idk what #but I don't know on tumblr people leave tags on everything but not on my art #and when people don't have anything to say it upsets me because i always have something to say about my art i can talk a lot about it #but i want other ppl to think something and not just sit here and talk in a self centered way i want to engage in a conversation instead #but people have nothing to contribute so I either just talk my ass off in awkward silence or i have to shut up and forget about it #idk maybe im just too self centered

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mishapen-dear · 5 months

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I read that same fic earlier and I just straight up muted the person so their works don't show up for me anymore lmao

there was also another one like that posted yesterday because the person was mad at something qBad did a couple of days ago while not at all in his right mind and amnesiac, it was odd (not shitting on the person just confused and slightly concerned)

yeah there’s. a lot of misconceptions around qbad rn lmao. It’s one of the reasons Im so obnoxious about him, tbh, so that it’s not JUST the negativity that gets spread. He’s a really good target for the hate rn, because he has a smaller fanbase and his pvp playstyle + lore lead him to all that antagonizing during purgatory, and that gets vented out into fics.

It’s genuinely really interesting, the dichotomy that seems to exist between tumblr and twitter regarding him. Ive heard nothing but slander about bbh from twitter (again, he is not faking his illness, that is a lie), but he’s got a solid enough foothold on tumblr that ive seen more hate towards the fans that the cc, here. which makes sense, given how we take over the tag almost ever day when he logs on. genuine o7 to people who find that obnoxious but thats one of the reasons i overtag so much, for blocking purposes.

anyway i think all the bbh mischaracterization means that we just need to write about him more >:D please this is a call for more bbh centric fics from people who do not hate him/know a little bit about his lore. blease he’s such a fun pov to write i promise

#mishapen answers #discourse #<- discussion of it anyway #idk maybe people are spreading lies over here too but i block anyone who doesnt filter their neg/go out of their way to make bad faith #arguments.#i think ita REALLY interesting how seeing all the hate towards bad had me finding myself saltier towards other fans/creators too #so i can understand why these vent fics are being put out yknow sometimes its just really fun to hate a guy #but that’s what neg tags and bashing [character] tags on ao3 are for #on tw/itter where a lot of this gets spread you dont really. Have that #dont mind me ive just been ruminating on this a bunch the past two weeks #ive never been so active in a fandom where discourse had the opportunity to actually reach me #its been p interesting to observe how thats effected the way i say and clarify things #<- rhats the main point of my other post ig because if my gifter is someone who has been seeing nothing but bbh neg after bbh neg comes her #*here and sees me swooning about bbh’s ‘only egg protector’ and ‘no one helps him’ complexes Getting Worse during the end of purgatory #then they dont have the context that im doing so strictly for fun and not putting it on other characters/blaming them for not also swooning #we have media literacy in this house i promise #i would like more characters to have flaws and feel alone and commit incredible sins #anyway. excusez-moi im verbose when im tired and procrastinating #anonymous

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emelinstriker · 5 months

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tfw you're just checking on a blog you enjoyed casually looking at after a long while cuz someone reminded you about it, looking for anything new that might catch your eye, only to then read a rant about yourself/your blog/your content with accusations that just prove they glanced over your stuff w/o actually looking at it properly-

again, just about the entire branding/servitude thing and the either baby reader or baby mk that's literally not even more than fun little what-if ideas.

and there was me thinkin i might wanna audition as a va for them if they ever needed help or anythin, but that idea sunk and the amount of respect i had for their own work went down the drain.

now excuse me, i gotta go back to work cuz i just wasted my lunchbreak typing this out.

just like my disclaimer from my old rant post, i'll be deleting anyone's messages if they try to argue with me about this shit again, cuz as stated before, this type of drama is literally giving me genshin twitter vibes.

it ain't my fault if my stuff got recommended to you and you don't like it. i already stopped using the lmk tag as much because of those anons from a while ago.

idm it if peeps have more of a weaker tolerance level towards others wanting to have a good time playing with literal legos in a way they don't like it, but i also don't want people to talk smack about others' work and call it disgusting just because it's not their cup of tea.

let people play with their legos while you play with your own legos, simple as that-

i'll just leave it at that. don't go after anyone involved either as i hate seeing this type of shit get dragged on. especially if it's all, again, opinion-based.

#emelin rambles #rant #this post doesn't count as rant tbh #it's more of me venting tbh cuz i lowkey feel betrayed #but i'mma still tag it just so peeps can find my own rant about some previous accusations from a while ago #actually just about the same accusations minus nezha and i guess the religion part idk #i already put my points about it there- if i ever necessarily have to then i'll just add points #but i also don't wanna spoil the entire actual fuckin lore on the au just cuz some peeps are jumping the gun on things #just because it's “not accurate to the source material” or a “horrible thing in history”#i'm literally not going out of my day to ruin people's days #like- branding and the servant vibe is literally just a nitpick #considering we're talking about literal lego figurines that were made to be merchandise #i'll just leave it at that cuz i did talk about the entire topic of literal fictional characters already

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dreamerlynx · 7 months

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