#not to romanticise having a job or whatever but if I have to be thinking about work all day I'd rather get paid for it

[nia-jul]

WET CIGARETTES

Gojo Satoru, your prettiest customer, insists on ordering the most insane drinks possible. As a barista, it’s your duty to fullfill them.

alternate!universe, fluff, happy ending

(This is a long one guys 🙈)

——————————————————————

You love your job. The truth is, the people who romanticise working at a coffee shop were exactly right. Yes, the hours can be long, and the occasional Karen can turn what should be a five-minute interaction into a half an hour one. And sometimes you go home with burns from a hot coffee pot, or spills on your favourite trousers. But you love every part of your job.

Except for Gojo Satoru.

Your most troublesome customer. You know he goes to your university, because you’ve seen him wearing a hoodie with its logo on it. You assume you both have different majors, because you don’t cross paths at all.

But he comes to the shop every day without fail. And he orders the most complicated, diabetes-inducing drinks known to man. He strolls up to the counter, blinking those bright blue eyes at you, with his perfect smile and his hair that looks so soft to touch and starts rattling off his order.

Okay, it’s not the worst thing in the world. Gojo is easy on the eyes, and it’s quite funny to see how far he’ll take it. You’re not exactly sure if he even consumes the stuff he buys. Maybe he’s trying to impress you. Maybe he’s trying to annoy you. You think he succeeds more with the second option, but it’s fine. You like the little challenge everyday.

Today, you’re wiping down the counter when you see him appear behind it and begin drumming his fingers against it.

“Hi, sugar.”

You look up, unamused. He’s wearing a black compression shirt that hugs his muscles and grey sweatpants. He’s probably come back from the gym, judging by the sweat that sticks some strands of his white hair to his forehead. He looks good. Whatever.

“Gojo. What monstrosity will it be today?”

He hums under his breath. He rests his cheek on his palm. His skin is so clear. For all the coffee he drinks, at least.

“I would like… A single shot, 4 pumps sugar free peppermint, nonfat, extra hot, no foam, light whip stirred grande white mocha.”

Your mouth gapes. “Gojo. What? That’s not- what even is that?”

He laughs, loud and boyish. The shop is quite empty, so, you can take your time to mock his ridiculous request.

“I don’t know. Thought I’d try something different, you know?”

“You try something different everyday. I think this one wins the stupidest order yet.”

“Don’t be like that, sweetheart. You know you like it. I bring some joy to the darkness that is your shift.” He pouts and leans forward.

You rolls your eyes. You turn and grab a cup to begin concocting his drink.

“Don’t call me that. And it doesn’t bring me joy. It does test my memory, though,” you pause, “How many pumps of peppermint was it?”

“Four. And what’s wrong with sweetheart?”

“I’m not your sweetheart, Gojo.”

He groans. He watches as you flit around behind the counter, going to steam the milk for his drink.

“Come on, what else am I supposed to call you? I don’t know your name.”

You point to the name tag pinned to your shirt.

“Yes you do.”

“That’s not your name.”

You nod and insist that it is. His eyebrows raise and he nods towards it.

“Your name is Brian?”

“Cute, right? I don’t like strangers using my real name, so they let me print a fake one.” You smile.

“It’s a shame, really. Brian suits you.” You stick your tongue out and Gojo grins.

The drink doesn’t take long. You make one of the fancy milk designs on the top, and slide it over to him.

“Here you go.”

He thanks you. He peers at the design at the top, eyeing the drink.

“I like this. You should learn how to draw my face on there.”

“Ah, yes. You’re right, that does sound like a great way to pass my time.” You nod sarcastically.

He sips the drink carefully. His nose scrunches and he sticks his tongue out.

“Oh, that is not good. At all.”

You laugh. You reach over and grab the drink, taking a swig. Gojo protests, but you can tell his effforts to get it back are half-assed. You wince, the warm peppermint drink sliding down your throat.

“Yeah, gross. How did you even come up with this?”

He shrugs, “They just come to me.” He nods at the cup in your hand, “You know, we basically just kissed.”

You snort, “You can keep dreaming, Gojo.”

“Oh, you’re definitely in my dreams, baby. All the dirty ones.”

Oh, he’s feeling brave today. You turn to hide the flush that dusts your cheeks. You wipe down the steamer.

“Baby is gross.”

“Tell me your name then.”

You point at the name tag on your shirt. Gojo groans and runs a hand through his hair. You glance down at the ignored drink on the counter.

“Gojo, you haven’t even touched your drink.”

He shrugs. “Oh, well. It’s not like I can’t pay for it.”

You hum under your breath. Rich people.

The shop starts filling up, and your manager pops his head around the door to tell you to get a move on.

“Sorry, Gojo. You gotta get a move on.”

“Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You wave him off, sighing as he drops his drink in the trash.

——

The next day, Gojo walks in with someone else. A girl, short brown hair and an unlit cigarette in her mouth. It’s the first time you’ve ever seen him with anyone else. Maybe she’s a girlfriend. Gojo seems awfully close to her, a smile gracing his lips as she says something to him.

You’re staring. You turn away quickly. It’s none of your business what he’s up to and you don’t care, anyway. Gojo could be married for all you care.

He bounds up to the front. Gojo has a way of taking up every space he’s in, and as he leans across the counter, he’s all you can see.

“Hey, cutie.”

“Hello. What can I do for you today?”

“Aw. No complaints. You like cutie?”

“Feels like something a 12 year old would call his discord girlfriend, but. Sure, let’s go with that.”

He laughs, but he straightens up quickly.

“Look, I’ve got no time for our cute banter today. I’ll have a Venti, triple-shot caramel macchiato, with three pumps of vanilla, two pumps of hazelnut, one pump of caramel, a sprinkle of cinnamon, and extra whipped cream on top.”

“No time for banter, but time for all of that.”

“Oh, and a mocha.”

You smile. “Who’s that normal order for?”

He points at the girl he came in with, who’s gone outside to smoke her cigarette.

“Shoko. Luckily for you, she likes normal people drinks.”

You turn to start making their drinks. Today’s order is much tamer than usual. It actually sounds like it might taste nice, and it’s sugary enough to satiate his sweet tooth. You wonder if he’ll ask that girl to try it for him.

“So. You got any plans today?” You say.

“Mhm. My friend and I are going shopping. She asked me to keep her company, but I think she likes my credit card’s presence more than mine.”

“Makes sense. At least she gets something out of the card.”

“Ha ha ha. Come on, she gets mean when she’s impatient.”

You shake your head, waiting for the milk to steam. “It takes as long as it takes.”

“Okay, Carla.”

“Wrong.”

“Bridget?”

You tell him he’s wrong again and laugh at his whining. You finish his drink off with an alarming amount of whip cream, to his request, and place it and the mocha on the counter.

“Done in record time.” You wink.

He tries it, and perks up.

“I’m impressed. This one actually tastes nice.”

He slides it over to you, and you take a sip.

“Yeah, you’re right. It is nice.” You say, incredulously.

“Can I have a sip?”

You look to the left and Gojo’s ‘friend’ has appeared. She smells a little like cigarettes but she’s so breathtakingly pretty that you don’t think anyone‘s really worried about that. She takes a drink before Gojo can protest, and she winces.

“God, it’s so sweet. You’ll die an early death if you keep going on like this.”

“Well, good thing it’s not for you.” He grabs it and passes her the mocha.

The girl looks over at you and smiles.

“Hey. I’m Shoko. It’s nice to meet you. Gojo doesn’t shut up about you.”

You tilt your head at the boy, who is looking away from the two of you, and coo.

“Aw, how sweet!” You awe, pressing a hand to your heart.

“He calls you Barista girl. Says you make the best drinks.”

You shrug. “I wouldn’t say best. I am the only one who will make his insane orders, though.”

“That’s true. He doesn’t even drink them half the time. Just throws them away the second he leaves. It’s like the only reason he comes here is so-“

“Okay! Okay, we’ve got to go.” Gojo claps his hands together, cutting off Shoko, and steering her away.

She grins, waving at you. She yells it was nice to meet you, and you say it back, much to Gojos dismay, and wonder what the real reason he comes here is.

——-

The next time Gojo comes in, he looks good. He’s wearing a black button up, the top few buttons undone, the sleeves rolled up to show his forearms. There’s a silver chain around his neck, and his hair is done up in a way that looks effortless and prepared at the exact same time. He’s also holding a bouquet of pretty flowers, pink and white and perfect looking.

God. You move away before he notices you blatantly staring at him. It’s almost closing, and you’ve got ten minutes before you’re free to go. You should be annoyed at his presence. You and Choso, the guy you were working with tonight, had just cleaned up, and you know Gojo’s order would probably need every appliance in the building. Any other customer would be shunned away, a quick point at the clock.

But Gojo’s not any other customer. Not that you’d ever tell him that.

“Hey, Gojo.”

He smiles. “Hey, gorgeous.”

Your cheeks heat up. God, if only he wasn’t so attractive. It would be so much easier to act like you don’t care when he calls you all those things.

“You look nice. You going somewhere after this?”

“Mhm. I’m going on a date.”

You pause to where you’re emptying out the coffee pots. A date? He was seeing someone else after spending god knows how long flirting with you?

You shouldn’t be surprised. He’s never asked you out, and Gojo is attractive enough to be someone who doesn’t care about girls' feelings. You know you should’ve seen this coming. It probably was just a little fun he had everyday, joking around with the oblivious, head-over-heels barista who allowed him to act like a dick with his stupid coffee orders.

Whatever.

“That’s nice. What can I get for you? You need to hurry up though, because we’re closing soon.” Your voice is flat, and your hand rests on your hip.

“Uh. Just a coffee.”

You frown. “No obnoxious order today?”

“Nah. I’ve got places to be. And I need to be awake tonight, if you get my drift.” He winks and you scoff.

You turn and fill the coffee pot, a little more aggressively than normal. You unfortunately do get his drift. Before you can say anything in response, Choso comes out from the back.

Choso is cute. He looks intimidating, always monotoned and looking sleep-deprived, but he was a sweetheart. He always ties his hair into little buns, draws cute designs on top of the lattes, and always makes sure you don’t close alone. Plus, he looks good in an apron. You think you’d like him if it weren’t for an annoying blue-eyed boy and his stupid orders.

“You okay if I clock out?”

You turn to him and smile. “Yeah, I’ll lock up. You working tomorrow?”

Choso takes his apron off and drapes it over his shoulder. You turn to face him, effectively ignoring Gojo.

“Nope.”

“What? Choso, come on, I can’t work if you’re not there, it’s so boring!”

He laughs, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter. It make the muscles in his arms stand out, and wow. Does he work out? Probably.

“You’ll be fine without me.”

“I won’t.” You pout.

“Goodbye.” He walks away, nodding at Gojo, who looks just peachy waiting for his coffee.

“So who’s that?”

You turn back to face him. “Choso. He works here.”

“Yeah, I figured. You like him?”

“Yeah. He’s great. My favourite coworker.”

Gojo nods slowly. A weird sort of quiet settles over you two. A part of you wants to ask who’s he’s going on a date with, but you respect yourself too much for that.

“What time do you get off?” He speaks up.

You pause slightly. “Me?”

Gojo raises an eyebrow. “No, the other barista behind the counter. Yes, you.”

“Oh. I’m done in ten.”

“Okay, good. Our reservation is in half an hour, so we should make it.”

The coffee pot whirs to let you know it’s ready. Instead, you keep staring at Gojo, who’s looks all too serious for somebody speaking nonsense.

“What?”

“It’s a nice place, don’t worry. Thought I’d splurge, to impress you. These are for you, by the way.” He thrusts the flowers towards you.

“I- What? Gojo, what’s going on?” You laugh, a little hysterical, confused as to what the hell is happening.

He grins. He walks right over to the you, leaning over the counter, so you’re a couple inches away from each other.

“You really think I’d ask anybody else out? I’ve been asking for these stupid orders at for weeks now just to throw them out so I could talk to you, that wasn’t a hint?”

“Yeah, but I just. I don’t know, I thought you were just messing around!”

“Are you really that clueless?”

“Hey! You-“ You stop for a second.

You take the apron from around your neck and throw it behind you into the office. You cross your arms and you nearly laugh at the nervous look that crosses his face.

“Did you make a reservation and dress yourself up for a date you didn’t even ask me to?”

Gojo scratches the back of his head. “I-“

“And then come in here and just tell me when it’s happening, without even giving me time to prepare myself?”

“I- Barista girl, I can explain.” He clasps his hands together.

“And you still don’t even know my name.”

He sighs. “The mystery is part of the fun, babe.”

You smile slightly. You have no idea what went through his head, but it’s cute he tried so hard. Even if it was a little weird.

“What if I had plans tonight, huh?”

Gojo shrugs. “I was hoping you’d cancel them for me.”

“And if I didn’t?”

“Not too sure. Maybe throw the coffee I’m still waiting for in your face?”

You perk up suddenly, remembering the pot that was still bubbling behind you. You take a cup and fill it for him, fit it with a lid and give it to him.

“So. Are you going to ask me out properly?”

He nods. His face is determined and he grabs the flowers from your hands. He takes two steps back and he walks forward.

“Barista girl, will you do me the honours of going on a date with me tonight?”

You frown, sighing dramatically, “I don’t know. I’ve had such a long shift. I’m tired.”

Gojo grabs your hands, pulling you towards him. The counter gets in the way, but you don’t think he cares. The two of you are still close enough that if you moved a couple inches forwards you’d be kissing. He smells like something expensive, and it overwhelms your senses. His lips quirk up in a little smirk, and you think your skin is buzzing where he’s touching you.

“I’m sure I can help wake you up, baby. You just gotta say yes.”

“I- I kinda look like shit, though.” You whisper.

“Don’t say that, you look beautiful.”

You know you don’t. Your hair is being held up poorly by a claw clip, random strands falling out of it. Your mascara is slightly smudged under your eyes, and there’s a lovely new coffee stain on the shirt you're wearing, courtesy of Choso knocking into you before you got a chance to put your apron on.

But he’s looking right at you like you’re the most incredible thing that he’s ever laid his eyes on that you feel like you might actually believe him.

“Okay. Okay, fine. If you let me go home and freshen up. Put a dress on, or something.”

“Oh, I can get behind that.”

You snort a laugh, stepping back. The nervousness from before is gone, and he’s grinning at you excitedly. He waits the few minutes it takes you to lock up, and holds his arm out for you to take while he walks you to his car.

It’s seven in the evening and the sun is just starting to set. The sky is beginning to turn, seeping from blue to orange to pink, and the light is catching off Gojos face. He’s speaking animatedly as he talks about the restaurant he’s taking you too, oblivious to your staring. He’s planned every last detail, somehow remembering when you said that you loved Asian food about a month ago.

You don’t really know much about Gojo. You do know enough to say that he is so sweet it makes your teeth rot.

You say your name, then, softly enough that he nearly misses it. He stops mid sentence and turns to you.

“Is that your name?”

You nod.

“You have a very pretty name.”

You smile. “Thank you.”

He nods slowly. “You can call me Satoru, by the way.”

“Okay, Satoru.” The name feels nice on your tongue.

He groans when you say it, hand reaching up to cup your face.

“God, it sounds so beautiful when you say it. It’d sound even better if you were screaming it, though.”

You roll your eyes, face a fiery red, and let a laughing Satoru lead you into his car.

——————————————————————

AUTHORS NOTE

Gojo satoru the man that u r.. also that cosplayer is EXACTLY how I envision him in my brain.. so obsessed..

again, any requests r welcome! (I’m literally lost for ideas)

#gojo satoru #gojo x reader #jjk gojo #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #fluff #jjk fluff #oneshot

[thegreenthepeacetheorange]

Everlark (Mockingjay, Ch. 20-21)

(there's so much chapter 21 about the old peeta resurfacing and it feels like a reward for suffering through what this book has made me suffer through so far)

i take bogg's telling katniss to kill peeta as him just saying "do whatever you have to do to get the job done"

katniss being like um surely he doesn't think i can just kill peeta? like surely not. and then her literally being like i'm just gonna do the first two things he said and ignore the third

finnick putting on and adjusting peeta's mask while he's unconscious. the fact that katniss notes this. i cry

peeta realising he's killed mitchell hurts a lot. the capitol really turned him into something he's not. and he's fighting it so hard still

the compassion the other members of the star squad show peeta is actually very heart-warming, they're so understanding. finnick looking after him. holmes automatically going to carry an unconscious peeta so they can start moving again without being asked to. finnick reassuring him; actually everything finnick does. them refusing to leave him behind even though he is an actual threat to them

katniss thinking of the hanging tree while contemplating peeta's request that they kill him. the fact that she realises it might even be the more compassionate thing to do at this stage to give him nightlock. but the same way he says he can't let her take it at the end of the book, she can't do it here

"i feel the arena all around me... once again i'm battling not only for my own survival but peeta's as well"

i personally don't think katniss could have ever killed him. there's just no chance. when his survival is so intricately linked to her own. they're a package deal. and they fight so hard to keep each other alive.

peeta holding out the can of lamb stew to katniss. so mad we didn't get so many important moments from this book in the movies. they did a terrible job of showing the moments where peeta was coming back to himself. all his comments to the others, this moment

"the memories of rain dripping through stones, my inept attempts at flirting and the aroma of my favourite capitol dish in the chilly air. so some part of it must still be in his head too. how happy, how hungry, how close we were when that picnic basket arrived outside our cave."

OUR cave. like it was their first little home. first little intimate space just for them.

the fact that she paints this time in their cave as romantic and sentimental and picturesque. she's romanticising tf out of it. like she was in a death arena but in that moment, she was happy and close to him and that mattered so much to her

her hope at him returning to himself dripping off the page. that he remembers this.

(an aside: katniss being snarky about snow's puffy lips and saying his prep team need to be lighter with his blush is sooo funny)

in my catching fire summaries, i noted that katniss's desire to save peeta is actually a very selfish one. she's saving him for herself. because she wants him so badly to live. she wants him to be able to live more than herself. and the thought of him living while she doesn't is a personally comforting/happy thought for her. yes he deserves to live and he's a wonderful person but she's doing a lot of the saving of him for herself. because she NEEDS him to live. so her line here is interesting: "if it's true, it would be kindest to kill peeta here and now. but for better or worse, i am not motivated by kindness." - i think this is her essentially confirming what i believe or have gathered so far from what she tells us. saving peeta is not her showing him some great kindness. it's for her. she can't let him die for her own personal need and reasons. (and this isn't me criticising her, i don't think her reasons for saving him are selfish in a bad immoral way. just that she is a teenage girl in love with a boy and she desperately can't let him go)

she does the whole 'am i saving him because i care for him or because i don't want snow to win' but like it's been clear why she's been saving him thus far and continues to

"why can't i just let him go?" because you love and need him sweetheart. and you literally would not be able to live without him

and it's funny that despite all the emotion behind her reasoning, she comes out bluntly and says: so are you coming yourself or do we have to knock you out

"i slip it into my pants pocket, where it clicks against the pearl"

ugh. the key that keeps him restrained is now with katniss. her taking control of that part. the fact that it clicks with the pearl, reminding her of her boy with the bread who gave her this pearl that she's inseparable from. reminding her of exactly why she can't let him go, let him die.

peeta's comment to pollux when no one else can think of anything to say!! why didn't they include these things in the movies? auihfuaedhfufkeadh

the fact that his words are able to make castor laugh and pollux smile. he is so charming, so good-hearted, so good with people. and it's coming back. the boy with the bread is there, behind all that fog. he's there.

and again, katniss's hope at realising this. her glancing back at him. i can feel her emotions even though she's not always forthcoming with them

her wishing she could read his mind and go inside it to help him. settling on making sure he's eaten. taking away the lid so he can't hurt himself.

him saying mockingjays need wings to survive kinda feels like flirting/charm idk

"slowly, as i would with a wounded animal, my hand stretches out and brushes a wave of hair from his forehead. he freezes at my touch, but doesn't recoil. so i continue to gently smooth back his hair. it's the first time i have voluntarily touched him since the last arena" - never forget what the movies took from us!!

them smoothing/playing with/brushing back each other's hair has been a constant since the first book. an intimate thing, a comforting thing. and here, after all that's gone on, katniss knows what might help him sleep and she takes the risk of touching him. it could've gone so badly. but she still did it, for him. and for her.

him whispering "you're still trying to protect me. real or not real"... i want to hug him so bad. but he feels it. he feels her wanting to still protect him and he needs the confirmation.

protecting each other is what they do guysss

he has horrible circles under his eyes from not being able to sleep but, as katniss smooths his hair back, he falls asleep after a minute. do you understand how important this is?????

#everlark #the hunger games #mockingjay #peeta x katniss #katniss x peeta #katniss and peeta #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #tgtpto everlark read

[realworldsucksendhelp]

'Till Death do us 'part

Blue Jones x Male! Reader

Summary:

Y/N dosn't belive himself when he relizes he's in love with Blue. He always put it down to admiration for the man and his job, but deep down they have both always known what this was, and now they have to face it.

Warnings: kinda angsty ig, it's the 1950s so gayness isn't really a known thing, so loads of confusion, mentions of going to an asylum because of being gay, in this AU Blue and the reader escaped the asylum, Blue Jones (he is softer in this as I don't want to romanticise cannon Blue Jones but let me live in my silly little fantasy world for now OK?)

---------------------------------------------------

One question Y/n didn't expect to be asked today was

"Are you in love with him?"

Key word HIM.

Y/n has had a lot of confusing thoughts at the moment.

He admired his business partner, but he wasn't in love with him. You can't be in love with another man, it's absurd.

Then why did it all make sense when Vera said that.

Why did the admiration, the jealousy and the pain all make sense when Vera Groski said the word 'love'.

"What? That's ridiculous! Shouldn't you be rehearsing Groski, I don't want to hear it"

Was his response, when what really went through his mind was

"Was it that obvious"

Y/N sighed as he sad on his bed thinking of the events from today.

"Are you in love with him?"

Consumed his every thought.

What if Vera wasn't the only one to know?

Oh god what if Blue knows?

The thought itself made Y/N lie down, screaming into a pillow as if to try and block out the noise.

Y/N's POV

Why am I like this?

Why with all these beautiful girls I fall for the one person I cannot and will not have.

Maybe I'm going insane.

Maybe I should go back to the asylum.

This Is so stupid.

I'm so stuiped.

"AHHG!"

I scream into my pillow once more before removing it from my face.

I state at the ceiling, cold tears streaming down my face.

I'm so stuiped.

I hear a knock on my door, I sit up and quickly wipe the tears from my eyes. I walk over to my messy apartment.

Although I make millions, most of that money goes into the Theatre as Blues money goes to his own personal gain, that leaves me with the small cold house and him in whatever mansion it is this week.

I wonder who would be knocking on my door at this time. My landlord? It's not like I have many friends, and by not many I mean none.

I open my door to see a sight that almost feels illegal.

It's Blue but not the Blue I know. His hair is messy and wet from the rain pouring outside, his tie is undone, his jacket discarded and shirt untucked.

"Blue? What are yo-"

"Can I come in…please"

I mutter a small 'yeah sure' and he thanks me and comes in, I have to shut the door a few times before it closes, it does that sometimes, well all the time.

I turn around to see Blue, standing awkwardly in the middle of my one room house.

"Is this where you live?"

"Yes"

"Thought it would be nicer"

"Thanks"

"No.. I mean.. it's just.. if you told me you were struggling I wouldn't have helped! You said you had enough to get by"

"I do..just not comfortably"

"Y/N.."

"What?"

I snapped,he seemed taken aback but I'm not in the mood tonight, especially not with him.

"If you have just come here to make fun of my living station Blue then I suggest that you leave because I am NOT in the mood tonight"

"Because of what Groski said.. Y/N I know how you feel about me"

Oh no.

Oh no.

He knows.

This is the single worst thing to ever happen to me. Fear takes over me and tears resurface the pools of my eyes. I try to keep it together but I can't.

I can't.

"Okay I get it! Okay! You didn't have to come over here in the pouring rain to tell me what I already know! I shouldn't have left the asylum with you! I should have stayed and maybe they could have filled me with enough drugs so I could forget all about you! You stuiped stuiped man!

I can't believe I fell for you"

Tears are streaming down my face and I shout at Blue. And he just stands there while I pour my heart and soul out to him. Even after I'm finished he just stands there, not even looking at me but at the floor.

"Are you going to say something..or are you going to leave"

He looks up at me, tears brimming his eyes as well as he gives me a soft smile.

"Your the stuiped man Y/N.. you really think I came all this way to reject you? Y/n you idiot. You idiot that consumes my thoughts every night. You really think this was one sided.. y/n I fell for you..long before you did"

"W-what? Blue this is crazy w-we can't-

If people knew"

In my shock I begin the shake, Blue makes his way over to me, he's soaking but I don't care, he holds me in a way I have craved for every in a way no woman ever could.

"They won't and if they do.. they'll have to try there damwell best to take me away from you"

He pulls back,our faces are so close and I feel the pull that people always describe when they first kiss, the pull that you have no control over yet want to control more than anything.

Then we kiss.

His lips aren't greedy or rough like I expected there soft and loving, I hold him like i never will be able to again, as I fear this will all be over in a night.

"I love you..and maybe we are crazy..maybe we do belong in an asylum..but the feeling is real and.. I want To spend my life with you.. even if we have to hide"

"Blue Jones.. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone.. and it scares me.. but I want this too.. even if we have to hide"

"'Till death do us 'part"

"'Till death do us 'part"

We smile and pull into another kiss, although it's less desperate now, it's full of everything that has been unsaid for years, and it's all I need, all I ever wanted and all I'll ever need.

#blue jones #blue jones x reader #blue jones x male reader #sucker punch #Blue Jones x Male!Reader #Óscar Isaac Hernández Estrada #oscar issac imagine #oscar issac x male reader #oscar issac x reader #oscar isaac #oscar issac x Male!Reader

[bondsmagii]

I think these people forget that other blogs on this site are actually also other real living people with lives and emotions. They’re acting like you’re a product which needs to be accessible and not just a person who makes posts that have gained a lot of traction

you're absolutely right there. I think people believe that once you "go viral" or whatever, you're a public figure. that's not the case at all. I got my first viral post in 2012, and it still goes around today. since then -- so for 10 years now -- I've had dozens more go viral. I have tens of thousands of followers. but I am still literally just a dude with a blog. I'm not a celebrity. I'm not a public figure. I'm not anyone of note. I'm not living my life to be consumed as a product or as entertainment. I'm not here to be a spokesperson or to set a good example. I am quite literally a 30 year old guy. yet people seem to think that because a few of my posts got popular, I have to be a Good Example, or I have to Do Things Correctly, or I have to have opinions on everything (only the right ones, of course!), and that I owe them something because I'm providing them a service and I have to keep them happy. it's insane thinking, and it happens all over the internet these days. people get one popular tweet and they start acting like they're a spokesperson for an entire cause or some shit. it does my fucking head in.

I'm not here to be accessible. I'm not here to be relatable. if people find stuff on my blog or in the things I write about my life that they like, or that they do relate to, great! but that's not my reason for being here. I don't run this blog as a job or as a service or as entertainment, and I don't like people romanticising me or sanitising me because they have a parasocial relationship with me, and then attacking me when I don't conform to their ideas of what someone in "my position" should act like. I am a horrible little beast of a man and I always have been. it's not my fault some people thought my text posts were funny and everyone else thought we were signing a business contract when they followed me.

#anon #asks

[pilloclock]

SPOILERS FOR ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT !!! ‼️

-

-

-

I finally watched ‘All Quiet On The Western Front’. At first I was apprehensive because World War 1 War films have been done so many times but wow. I never need to see another ‘anti war’ film because this is THE anti war film. I’ve heard that many War films have been statistically proven to increase army applications, whether they wanted to or not, because they didn’t do a good enough job of showing the true horror and reality. This film is nothing if not truthful horror and trauma.

‘All Quiet On The Western Front’ isn’t romanticising war as so many war films have done. It’s showing that there is no grace or heroism or honour in it. What honour do dead men who died for nothing feel? What honour do any dead people feel? And what comfort is ‘honour’ to the family and friends of said dead soldier? Honour in War is just a lie.

My favourite part of this film was how purposefully they showed that honour and remembrance for soldiers is a lie. The dead soldiers uniforms were being washed and repaired just to give to fresh faced, naive boys for them to die in too. The name tags lost. The endless lost personal tokens. Paul lost the French soldiers letters. No one is going to find them. After Paul’s promise I did assume the film would end with him surviving and finding the mans family. That would have given the audience some hope. ‘All Quiet On The Western Front’ doesn’t give us hope because War crushes hope. Any positive, eg finding some eggs or being told you can go home, ends in tragedy. Our protagonist, someone we expect to survive despite it all, dies a minute before the eleventh hour … but that’s the only way to end an anti war film.

I’ve never been to War. I’ve never even been in a physical fight let alone had to kill a stranger while explosions kill my friends and comrades. My great grandad fought in the war but he refused to speak of it. He never once brought it up because he wanted to move on. I don’t know what he would have thought of this film but I, as someone who’s never experienced it, can’t imagine War any other way. Surely this is as close as anyone like me will get to that horrific experience.

I’d urge people to show this film to their friends or family members who might think War is cool or heroic. If this can’t change their minds I’m not sure what will.

If you’ve read my enormous essay for whatever reason , thank you. Have a great day.

#film #cinemetography #all quiet on the western front #all quiet on the western front review #film review #movie #war #war movie #war movies #movie review #film thoughts #my thoughts #spoilers #all quiet on the western front thoughts #rant #anti war #world war #world war 2

[vegaspetesupremicy]

there's this genre of bl that consists specifically on violent, terrible, fucked up relationships and what I've seen from people that defend it, they say that it's supposed to be like that and that the authors are not romanticising it. the thing is... they are lmao no relationship in any media has to be ideal, but there's a huge difference between writing an awful relationship to explore the characters and whatever these bls do. like, kp did a wonderful job doing what people think these books are doing, and it's bc they softened MANY of the violences in the book and gave depth to the characters (and their actions had consequences)

Oh ya I totally agree!

I've been in the bl community FOREVER. and I honestly didn't notice how problematic a lot of them are untill recently...

I mean a lot of recent bls have been doing a good job with LGBTQ representation and consent and actual HEALTHY relationships, it's nice to see.

BUT DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON VEGAS IN THE NOVEL. it really goes to show that the writers just need to stop and let it be a show now. Like he's WAY different in SUCH A good way (FUCKING SOMEHOW)

The ONLY thing I want from the novel is vegaspete Christmas over the phone video sex. Like THATS IT.

#i never had the intent to read the novel but by ep 10 i WAS STARVING FOR VEGASPETE CONTENT AND I WAS DESPERATE #i had to wait a WEEK ok #i binged all of tge vegaspete side story in that time #and was ✨ horrified✨

[chatoyee]

it’s been a while, and many things have changed. innumerable things escape my mind as i try to recount all the experiences i have lived since 3 november 2018. i was happy. 

i suppose i still am happy. happiness has different manifestations and i’ve become accustomed to being solo, once more. i was mistaken when i thought i’d found something worthwhile; it only managed to last three and a half years, as if relationships are bound to break down as i edge closer to sharing a life with someone i thought i knew. maybe my relationships aren’t made to last for more than four years.

“maybe i should start dating to marry”

14 august 2018 - i’d taken those words seriously. but now, at almost twenty-five, perhaps it’s time to not take things as seriously and just let loose. it has almost been two months since he let me go, and i feel so much more liberated than i could have even fathomed. that night felt like my heart was being torn from my ribcage, and even just recalling this feeling makes my chest heave with deeper breaths. i’ve never experienced so much agony, so much heartbreak. what do you do when the person you love, with every fibre of your being, decides to cut the ties that held you both together?

it’s true, we were on a string. perhaps even on borrowed time, but i was willing to hold on to whatever was left. i wanted to make it work because i thought that mental health was taking its toll once again. or perhaps it was the distance. the pressure from university. maybe i wasn’t managing my time well enough - was i too focused on my job? on my degree? why did the onus always have to fall on me? but it didn’t matter, because i thought it would’ve been worth it. it would’ve been worth all the months i cried myself to sleep every single night, all the worries about infidelity, all the unfairness of having too many responsibilities to juggle.

it was worth it because hindsight is just another way for us to romanticise everything. things were perfect just two years ago. he called me beautiful. he cared about me. but it just fucking stopped. he gave up on us before anyone else did. everyone else thought we would pull through - “you just have until june, don’t worry too much. you can move in, by then.”

i really wish i hadn’t been so optimistic. but none of that matters now, and i have made peace with the fact that i may never get closure on this. perhaps it’s better that i not know about all the inner machinations of his mind, and i can sit with blissfully ignorant assumptions about what happened and what could’ve happened. i’ve had enough time to think it through now. perhaps it’s not that i wasn’t enough for him, but that i was just too much. too much of everything that is making him have to think about facing reality, moving forward, growing up. for that, i am not sorry. i can only be apologetic that he couldn’t meet me where i was.

the funny thing about getting out of a long-term relationship is finding something to do with all that extra time on your hands (that doesn’t involve falling into a self-destructive spiral of despair and overthinking). i binge-watched bridgerton and cried at the sex scenes during the first week, avoided reading any sort of fiction that involved romance in fear of breaking down, and my appetite had disappeared yet i’d rushed to make dinner plans with as many friends as possible. all to keep my mind from racing.

the transition to saying “my ex” or “someone i know” was probably the most difficult task of all. i could hide my tears whenever i attended seminars as i discussed various media theory or debated campaign tactics, but when it came to personal stories and analogies, it was difficult. making small talk was difficult.

learning to flirt again has also been a barrier. becoming too comfortable with your partner apparently does lead to an inevitable loss of flirtatiousness, though i can’t say that i was ever a master in the first place. previous attempts had been overtaken by discussions of how f(x) is underrated as a second-gen group, althusser’s theory of the state apparatus, and what wisconsin is like in the autumn. and that’s just flirting with guys. historically, i’ve been an absolute idiot when it comes to sussing out when girls are interested me in. regrets are aplenty.

I guess nothing much has changed by way of political talk - how do people flirt “normally”? do people just talk about bitcoin and how they have hopes and dreams of finally booking a holiday to dubai? shit, i just want someone to talk to me about how badly they want the overton window to shift to the left so joe biden isn’t considered a raging communist any more, and then tell me that they appreciate my ass while they choke me out. i guess the bar is that low, now. but there’s plenty of fish in the sea, as they say.

as for you, please don’t be too happy about the collapse of my relationship. and don’t you dare try to reach out to me again, either. i have enough on my plate, with my nightmares cropping up once again as time draws closer to going back to the motherland. it’s been probably a decade since i last saw him in the flesh, and thinking about it is making my skin crawl and breath hasten. i hope i won’t ever be left alone with him; my fear makes me tremble even at the thought, because it’s the unknown of what could happen that brings me distress and trepidation. i don’t want to go through it again, because there’s just no telling how i’ll react. and the feelings of shame, disgust, loathing, and degradation keep washing over me as i relive what happened before. i just have to keep telling myself that it’ll be alright.

#words

[moinsbienquekaworu]

(re: your tags) I feel the same way about graduating hs. I graduated back in 2016, and have had to drop out of college on two separate occasions because of my disabilities. Now my siblings are all either graduating from prestigious colleges or halfway through their programs with top marks, and its very much a. Idk. An "I feel like I didn't do enough" kinda deal. Just about everyone graduates hs from the school I went to. Nobody sees it as an achievement even though that's the furthest some of us ever could go.

Anyway, hi. You're not alone. I'm proud of you for graduating hs, that's a feat in and of itself 💛 it's really impressive that you're trying for a uni degree too, even though you're not sure you want it anymore. I'm proud of you for all the trying stuff, you're doing great, you deserve to have a good time. And, no matter what you decide to do, whether that be continuing despite maybe not being sure about it or dropping it later or whatever you decide to do, im still going to be proud of you for getting this far.

You're doing great, keep up the good work 💛💛

(And if you ever need someone to just listen, my askbox and dms are open at all times, even if it takes me a bit to respond)

(about this post and my tags on it)

That's !! Feeling like you're not even getting started when it should be enough to get you a nice job and allow you to live a simple life is terrible. Because romanticising the past isn't ideal and all, but I can't help but wish I lived in a time where a high school diploma was actually a good education and could land you a nice job, instead of feeling like the beginning.

One of our teachers used to say that, we were a small group and she'd always go "oh graduating hs is just the beginning, all the serious stuff is afterwards if you want a good life, but you're all smart and capable here, I know you'll go far" and this made me feel atrocious, I think you'll see why. I love that woman but that was not the thing to say haha. Tying how far you go into your studies to your intelligence and your worth as a person did not help me at all.

I'm trying to remember I do it because I want to, because literature and english are interesting topics, and that this doesn't determine what I'm worth or even my future. I'm there to have a good time and learn some stuff, Cs get degrees and I'll get somewhere eventually, it's all fine. It's just a bit hard to remember sometimes :')

And obviously, uno reverse card, at least on what's applicable to you haha. I imagine it must suck wanting to go but not being able to, and seeing everyone else succeed where you couldn't. I still kind of wish they gave a medal or just, something tangible at graduation, because the paper doesn't even feel that nice, nobody even signed it it's just a pre-filled template.

#anyway love you so much thank you for that ask #if that brings you comfort one of my friend groups is like half people in uni half people working #and the ones working are having as much of a Time as us #(this is derogatory but hey we're ALL suffering in different ways) #i don't know if this is private and you want me to answer it like privately? #i prefer chucking everything on my blog but i'll private it if you'd rather #wow i have an asks tag now

[thoughtcock]

self manifestations for 2023/24 (progress)

[X] rent an better actual apartment, by myself or with someone else: I am currently here now :) sitting by myself in the comfort of my living room, while listening to lofi music on youtube as background. And boy, what an amazing feeling it is. it is merely just over 400 sq ft, a small size by most standards. yet its just enough for me and the bf who comes over.

I used to feel like I don't do well in the ordinary, life had to always be happening or I have to be on some unconventional route (i mean it kinda is but still) to be happy or whatever. But lately, I really do appreciate the peace and the ordinaryness. I now romanticise the chill/hiding away to my safe space. I love doing my silly little home decorating and just feeling present at this apartment. my safe space.

I gradually became a much more neater and organised person. seriously, i started making my own bed more regularly and you could point a gun at me and i would find it so pointless to do it. its just going tog et messy again so who cares? but now.... i see why people do it.

i thought me being messy was just a personality trait of mine and i hoped people around me will accept it. but i dont know... i guess there's this new-found form of respect i have for my space now, and keeping it tidy just makes it so much more pleasant for me. the only issue with that is i spend significantly more time tidying, and my boyfriend still hasnt caught up to speed yet.

But still... I finally get ikea catalogues and how they are always selling this idea of a beautiful home enriching your life. because its true. and i get why people buy picture frames and decorative tissue boxes and carpets and all. to make a space much cozier, which in turn makes u happier and more at peace. And I get why people buy extra practical things like a water filter, storage space for your appliances, a speaker, a standing desk. because why wouldnt you? it boosts your quality of life in different ways.

Yes, its not cheap to rent, but damn I would rather pay with money than with my mental health. for seven years i've lived with the bare minimum. mostly stuck to buying necessary stuff for my home, or barely buying anything at all for fear it will eat up the little space i was allocated to. and now to have the space(!!) and options to buy something just for the aesthetics is suddenly new to me again. for 8 years i've been living in cramped dorms/subdivided rooms/flat share. i am so grateful and i cant wait to make more and get an even bigger space maybe (i still wish for a bigger kitchen, and an actual designated to hang clothes without taking over the living room space).

In the meantime maybe i can start thinking about owning a home. though i still dont feel ready, need to save more haha

[ ] get my first tattoo: still in the works. all the artists i like are either based far away, or i am still undecided and frankly procrastinating. slighly worrying about the fallout with the mother. also there is a bit of inertia to just fuck it and out trust in an artist for a tattoo that im not sure of yet.

[ ] adopt a cat: unlike getting a tattoo, i dont think i can just bite the bullet and bring an animal to my life full-time. since having a family dog, i realised how important it is to consider how I really have to be responsible for a pet. And making space for said pet in your life. my family dog came to us in a "yolo" way of sorts, and while he is amazingggggg, i know if it were up to me i'll do so much more to give him a better life. and so, i would like to carefully consider everything before fostering one. and also because my new apartment is so great as it is, how can an animal live in it well without destroying the space i worked so hard for?

[X] adapt well in new job: giving this an X because so far i've performed better than how i did in my first year. but there's a lot of self-pressure and probably managerial pressure to step up and do even more, learn even more etc. tbh sometimes it feels like my brain is swimming from all these new things i've learnt or am expected to learn. i dont want to disappoint people, but i am also trying to give myself the space/patience to improve and be better. after all im paid much better to live in this nice apartment.

[X] buy fancy decorative stuff for said new apartment (eg. plates, candles, artsy fartsy stuff)

[ ] be reading more: definitely falling back on reading... sometimes its hard to get the attention span to do so. i've been told i should get back on self-help books. so far i've read more autobiographies. there are some books i own that take me back to chaotic times (Eg. 2019) and i'm sure if i even want to touch them for fear of bringing up not so great memories and how this city is quietly turning to shits. well at least i have my nice place as it turns to shit... privilege much?

[ ] continue to choose myself: i feel like its a half-half on this...

[X] be okay with change: something i read recently is how because nothing last forever, its best to appreciate things are they are now before they are gone. the glass is already broken. impermanence makes things more beautiful.

[ ] have more reflective alone times: unfortunately not doing as much of that, but i hope that will change!!!! sometimes i live life on autopilot mode, and i could feel myself living in that mode for months since i've stopped going to therapy. autopilot mode isnt bad, but yeah i know i dont truly reflect on my feelings much if that is so. and i find my thoughts so muddled and messy at times. its like what the fuck do i want sometimes, why am i overthinking this and that, am i doing enough of this and that bla bla,,, but i dont know WHY im thinking like that. sometimes writing this in word vomit mode helps to rationalise and write out all the things in my head which is great... although i feel like a terrible writer because everything is so messy and word vomity

[X] solo travel (either a beach getaway or city gal holiday, or both): my first solo trip coming up soon! a beach getaway is something i always want to do. im not going to plan much or keep everything to a schedule, just see where this trip takes me. im hoping to just chill and be rejuvenated, and yes try to be more reflective

[ X] turn off my brain when work is over: a WIP but i would say i've gone heaps and bounds since leaving my last job. work stops at 6 and i try not to open my emails/messages, but i guess with more responsibilities sometimes i cant help it. but i can safely say i do have more time for other things without feeling like some manager will find me to settle a story or whatever. it feels nice to have no one bug u after work hours!!

[X] maintain close relationships with the people who matter: not sure whether to tick this since i've become a lot more introverted this year. i no longer do big parties or try to organise one anymore. in that sense i do feel more distant from people now, sometimes i dont even know who matters and who doesnt. but this time, i feel perfectly okay with it. i think its the new house effect, i just want to stay home all the time. maybe the person who matters most in my life is me, after all.

[X] restart seriously saving and investing again: getting paid more helps. though i do need to re-evaluate my investing choices. i jsut need to be careful about lifestyle inflation and balance things properly. i started budgeting again this months so hopefully i can stick to it.

[X] stay away from people with bad energy: its actually easier to do that when u have a significant other and u are okay to be alone. no longer interested in clubs or gettign fucked up, or getting on dating apps anymore.

-[X?] feel valued in a workplace/relationship: yes for work, thanks to great managers and great benefits. relationship, i would like to think my friends value me, and as for my boyfriend? i guess he does in his own ways, though i would like to feel more of it.

New goals:

learn diving

solo travel/travel to more unconventional places

romanticising life more

take a chill hobby like coloring

exercise at least 1x a week

[achermvn]

life updates- a series- #2

02/09/2022, Friday

Hi

So. I finally sat down to write life update #2. Or life update #002. I cant really choose which one looks better or cooler so I'll just go with the former.

Now.....where do I began. Don't be alarmed though I didn't really have a super eventful month since update #1 or whatever. By the way, I've decided to try and do this as a monthly thing. Updating at the end of each month.

A part of me is already groaning in frustration as this is yet ANOTHER monthly update thingy that I have to keep a record of. Yes, keeping up with such things does feel like a huge task to me, sometimes even a chore that I can't wait to get rid of. I don't know, can you even get rid of a chore? Hmmm. I think I didn't really phrase this as well as I could. Apologies for the same. I'm trying and I'll get better.

I always do.

Anyways, you get the gist of it. Monthly updates it is.

So, life update = it's been good.

I've come across a lot of posts on Instagram, tumblr posts fyi lol, about how august slipped away (shoutout to Ms. Swift!) But yeah, posts and discourses even about how August brings upon a strange uneasy feeling of bittersweet-ness or yearning plus a little heartache here and there. And honestly, bro i genuinely don't relate to all that. I concluded that's 'cause I'm not that much of a hardcore swiftie at heart to romanticise this month in such a depressing way.

August for sure went by really fucking fast but I'm looking back at it fondly. From building and getting used to a new routine, celebrating and having a blast at my best friend's 20th, and securing a job through the campus placements(YESSIRRR), it has been blissful! I'm so grateful to god for the past weeks that went by and also really fucking proud of myself for achieving some of my goals.

I'm gonna keep it a little brief from now onwards cus firstly, I'm getting tired and secondly I still haven't completely wrapped my head around a few things to articulate rational thoughts and opinions on them.

But, here's some free advice.

Believe in yourself. Always. Believe in God. They're always there for all of us. Having faith in that Higher Power really helps a lot. And of course, practice gratefulness!

Alright bro im out ill prolly delve deeper into all this maybe some time later for sure but right now im tired af so im gonna go get some zzzz. tc.

by honey

#ney updates

[wlwboomboom]

i got a job (after 9 months of searching!!) so i finally feel like i can enjoy life again 🙌🏻

#not to romanticise having a job or whatever but if I have to be thinking about work all day I'd rather get paid for it #personal

[olderthannetfic]

So I have a question about "problematic fanfictions"… not underage sex for once.

I lurk around in a fandom for a ship where there has been some drama regarding the appearance of a trope that makes a canonically "good character "- basically known for NOT being a bigot and not much else - into a pseudo nazi. Things are complicated by the fact that the love interest would canonically be in the discriminated-against group. The fact that the trope they are going for is a romanticisation of Nazi/Holocaust victim is NOT subtle - to everyone but the people enjoying it, apparently.

Lots of people were very upset and pointed out why it's problematic, even calling for it to never be used, the authors got upset in turn. I think there were heavy discussions/fights about it in private too.

Point is, as much as I think the trope is shit (honestly not just because of the nazi romanticisation, but for its overall relationship to canon) I also think everyone can write whatever. Being into the creepy kinky stuff myself, I was not particularly shocked. But I also get why people would be. To be frank, the arguments against it were not that different from the criticism you would get around something like The Night Porter.

So this got me thinking, do you think it is possible for a type of criticism of fanfiction that is a conversation on why things can be problematic and that still allows for things to exist?

I get that you don't know where the person is coming from, or that self-awareness is not required to write something, but sometimes it's simply the matter of telling someone "hey, you just wrote something very racist/sexist/whatever ".

What I am asking I guess if we are ready for criticism of fanfiction in a more literary sense.The way we would canon. Or are they too different a thing that it is not possible? Lots of people are very against any kind of criticism in fanfictions, and I've literally seen people get upset at commenters pointing out typos or anachronisms. A lot of the time the culture is "if you don't have anything good to say, say nothing", and I follow this rule, but it can feel claustrophobic at times.

And while I get don't like - don't read and practice it myself, I also can understand people being upset at, say, knowing a negative stereotype about their group or a romanticisation of their trauma is around without being able to discuss it explicitly.

I am not even sure mainstream criticism is doing a good job at not being pearl-clutching and censorship as of late. But I also think it's very important to just talk about things, and I have yet to see a space in fandom where the bad is discussed without turning into a fan war, though I might just be unlucky.

--

Telling them where?

If you're in a discord for a fandom, and someone has a massively offensive headcanon they want everyone else to adopt, it's absolutely appropriate to explain that it makes you uncomfortable and why.

A review in a bookmark or a review blog on tumblr or wherever else could absolutely be literary criticism.

AO3 comments, however, are typically seen as a conversation with the author. The author may not be open to conversation. They may not even be open to a much less critical conversation than this.

It's claustrophobic because you're treating the AO3 comments section as the sole place for discussion. That's the equivalent of asking the author's official website to stand in for book review blogs, goodreads, and amazon product reviews.

If you want to build a space in fandom for those discussions, you should do so. It will be tough because most reviewers are much less intelligent and much less informed than they think they are and because a lot of people have ulterior motives for criticism.

It will also be tough because there's no reason someone should care about fic reviews of a fandom they aren't in aside from yelling at creators for offensive art. If you want a good faith critique space, it probably needs to be one where the people present are delving into their own fandoms with an eye to improving their own writing/art/recs.

In practice, the "how to write X" blogs I've seen around here have all been unintentionally offensive, treated their group as a monolith while trying to do the opposite, and have been virulently, virulently anti-kink.

I think it would help to have an aim for your space. "I want to tell this AO3 author that they hurt me" is not an aim that will ever go anywhere but mega-wank. "I want to improve my own writing" might go somewhere productive.

[choptop-sawyer]

Ok, honestly and without romanticising, how do you think would it go if one lf the Sawyer boys fell in love with a victim? Like, would they kidnap them but convince the rest of the family not to kill them? How would the others react, would we get more of " ____'s got a girl/boyfriend"? It's just a question that has been bugging me for quite a while, as most of them don't really encounter any people outside the family, with the exception of victims.

Sincerely, the anon who thirsted over your icon

Hello icon thirst anon!!! Ohhhh... this ask has so much potential. I love digging into more realistic interpretations of the Sawyers. Of course, there's always going to be an element of unreality with scenarios where you end up with one of them. But close as possible to the source material, I mean.

But what source material? TCM 1 and 2 are obviously the superior movies (for me) and the best of the Sawyers are in them. No extended family or some shit, I can stomach a twin of Nubbins, especially since he's so fun. But they both have extremely different vibes, and different characterizations of the Sawyers. (Except Nubbins. RIP man).

It also, obviously, depends on the Sawyer.

Um... anyway. Sorry for going on too long. Under the cut.

TW: Canon Typical mentions of violence, kidnapping, unhealthy relationships

With Bubba, if we're going TCM 1 wise, I hope you're good at running. The only likely way he's going to meet you is as a victim, and if he meets you on your own at first? He's going to do his job, no matter how attractive you might be to him. Leatherface won't even acknowledge you as more than meat if you're in his sights. Run. And run fast. There's almost no chance Bubba would fall for you with the saw in his hands.

Now, if you were brought back as a VICTIM by another brother, then you have a chance. Bubba has time to see you as a "guest" for a while rather than simply meat. But your time window is limited. Once the others get tired of you, you're meat again. Most likely, Bubba would be attracted to your appearance right away. But that wouldn't be enough to save you, you could easily be another mask. The key is, the thing that would give you the highest chance of survival and a relationship, is to not scream. To not flinch away from his touch when he pets your head. Maybe even say some nice words to him.

Then, there's something that would be gone if you were butchered. That's how you get Bubba invested.

If we're going with the most non romanticized version, you'd still die. Bubba's desires never mattered much anyway to the rest, because he really never expresses it out of subservience. But... if there is something worked out, you'd be his pet of sorts. Drayton would be completely disinterested unless it affects him or the finances. Nubbins might poke at you for a while, then leave you alone once you become a normal thing. What business of it is theirs?

Bubba is the one who tries the most to love you. It might not even be love, at the beginning. More a fascination. But I do believe that he'd care the most. Being with him, I think, would feel the... most gentle? Idk. He wouldn't try to hurt you on purpose if you're in that situation.

Nubbins is hard to nail down, character wise. All of the Sawyers are pretty mysterious, but he's really up there in mysteriousness to the viewer. Franklin thought him an omen, the others thought him a freak, and the audience sees what the audience sees, but no one really knows for sure.

I imagine it would be like a mirage, meeting him. He definitely meets at least a few strangers, with his hitchhiking. You'd either be kind (or foolish enough) to pick him up, or if you were a local, you'd meet him in the endless expanses, terrible and shimmering in the heat. Maybe he'd be quiet at first, stammering out answers with a small smile, like he's trying to remember his lines, but if you excite him in some way, you're in for it.

It would probably just strike him out of the blue that he likes you, and he wouldn't waste any time. He's not really scheming and mischievous, despite his impression. He rolls with whatever he feels. Extremely realistically, you'd get hurt in some way. Possibly really badly. But if you were to be his S/O, it's gonna be a kidnapping. (You might be able to overpower him though. Twig.)

He wouldn't keep you in the house. He might not even think to introduce you to Drayton, because Drayton would be very displeased. But luckily, there's quite a few secret places he's found in his explorations. He might take you there.

It would be very odd. Once the initial terror wears down, you'd realize that Nubbins is a raw and open wound. Repulsive, but honest. He doesn't quite belong anywhere. You think he hoped you'd belong to him, and him to you. The only way out is to be locked in a death grip. I don't think it'd last very long.

The second movie' wacky atmosphere fits Chop Top very well, but we still don't know much about the details of his life. We know the backstory, that he listens to the radio every night, and that he has a love for music and smashing skulls. You could meet him anywhere, as long as you aren't looking for him. He seems to be the kind of guy who was everywhere wherever he was, at least once. If he invites you back to his place after some flirtations traded, don't accept. That would probably mean death for you, not at the hands of a regal and somber grim reaper, but the kind of death that not many wish to think about. He'll come back to the same place to see you again, if he likes you enough. And maybe, he'll even ask you out for real. Chop Top likes the idea of being in a relationship, because all the songs on the radio were written about it. He wants to live them. And you... you're perfect.

If he really cares for you, he'd keep you a secret from his family. There's two lives he leads, the one formed by radio and wild living, and the other formed by the tight, insular environment of his childhood. Chop Top might whisper about you to corpse Nubbins, giggling as he recounts how good-looking you are, and ain't he lucky? But that's it, unless you're foolish. If you get to curious well... he'll invite you to dinner. It's sink or swim then. Good luck.

Drayton is the least likely to find someone he cares enough about not to kill. He's thinking of self-preservation above all, and an S/O complicates too many things. But you'd have to be a local, he doesn't trust strangers. He's loathe to introduce you to his family though. As important as they are in how much they define his very life, they would throw off too many red flags.

He might try to deny his attraction to you at first, as a consequence. But if you won him over, he'd hide the Sawyer's "special diet" as well as he could. Drayton is used to painting over everything, throwing a rug over the mess. When you go to the house? Bone furniture has to be stashed away, hide the meat hooks, hide the horrors, hide away the brothers.

The twins would probably find out somehow, and mercilessly tease him. He feels shameful, somehow, when they do, and that makes him angry. He feels, deep down, that he's betraying the way of life. Don't expect much.

(Sorry if this was rambly)

#texas chainsaw massacre #tcm #bubba sawyer #chop top sawyer #Nubbins sawyer #drayton sawyer #slashers #slashers x reader #texas chainsaw #horror tag 2 #my writing #leatherface

[jaskiersvalley]

@chubbykatsudon allowed me to ramble on a little about reverse A/B/O when Omegas are the ones who rules society while Alphas are locked away because they're too dangerous, too violent to hold a responsible role in life. Thank you for making me feel so welcome in your inbox at all times. <3

As the first Omega child of Lettenhove's ruling family, there were expectations on Jaskier. He would wed another Omega of equal rank and, together, they would find an Alpha that was already broken in and as tame as their money could buy. Lettenhove came with some reinforced rooms fot to hold an Alpha. Allegedly Jaskier's sire had been one of the more gentle Alphas, content to sate heats and never asking for more than given.

Naturally, Jaskier had to defy all expectations and he hit the road like some common Beta. Even worse, he found himself not just an Alpha, but a whole pack of them. To make matters even more humiliating, they were Witchers. Sterile, useless Alphas who were not good for anything other than throwing at brutish monsters that terrorised the good folks of the Continent. Despite predictions, gossip and even ill-wishers, Jaskier had never been happier. He gladly gave his status and name to any Alpha Witcher who needed it. Even offered his collar to make their travels easier as he couldn't be beside them all at the same time. Though Jaskier never wanted to play favourites, he most often travelled with his first Alpha, Geralt. He was always so gentle when Jaskier's heat came, reverent at being allowed to help when he'd been raised to believe that no Omega would even look at him with anything but disdain.

There was a contract near a village, the description was rather hit and miss, leaving Geralt unable to determine just what kind of creature they were dealing with. All they knew what that it stole livestock, broke into houses and scared a Beta maid almost lifeless. She had sworn up and down that, whatever it was, it was large, black, stinking worse than anything she'd encountered before and shrieked at being seen before fleeing. It left Geralt stumped but he dutifully set out to track the creature. Thrilled at the prospect of a new creature giving inspiration for new ballads, Jaskier tagged along.

"Could it be a demon? Or an imp?" He asked, trailing after Geralt with a skip in his step. "Or maybe a cursed creature? Just imagine! You could break the curse and it would make for such a romantic ditty!"

"Hush!" Geralt growled and Jaskier giggled. He'd never found the growls of his Alphas to be intimidating and time did nothing to change his view. However, he did fall silent, scenting the air and finding it acrid with something he'd never really smelled before.

They emerged in a clearing, one that quite obviously was home to something. There was a paltry shelter covered with a stolen sheet, a firepit and the remains of a goat. Jaskier couldn't help but be grateful that it wasn't Eskel with him on this particular contract.

"Hello?" Geralt called out, peering towards the shelter. What Jaskier didn't know what that he could hear the rapid heartbeat of someone in there, combined with the sour smell of fear. "We just want to talk."

It was quite obvious whoever had made a home there was the one responsible for the village's woes. Jaskier nodded towards the tent in question and Geralt nodded. Even mouthed "Alpha" at Jaskier, quite certain that whatever it was, it was or at least once had been, human.

"Can we help you?" Jaskier asked softly, moving towards the tent. He crouched down to peer in and, with no warning, a figure burst out, sending Jaskier sprawling before trying to dash past. Unfortunately Geralt was in the way and the man bounced off him, landing in an ungraceful heap on the ground.

Winded, Jaskier sat up and watched as the man cowered before Geralt. When he stood up it got so much worse and, three steps closer, Geralt actually stepped between Jaskier and the man, warning him off.

"You poor thing," Jaskier sighed. "We mean no harm."

Such words fell on deaf ears and each time Jaskier tried to approach, trying to calm the Alpha with his scent, it had to opposite effect. At least with Geralt the man was submissive, allowing himself to be pulled upright and scented even if he trembled so bad, Jaskier was scared he'd fall down.

"Nilfgaard," Gerlat declared. His eyes landed on the Alpha's neck and a growl built in his chest. A violent bonding bite had left the skin heavily scarred and where the collar had sat was rubbed raw. "Force bonded. Where's your Omega?"

It was unheard of for a bonded Alpha to be far from their Omega. Usually, if they were allowed out, it was on a leash in Nilfgaard.

"Dead."

Which explained a lot yet nothing at all. If an Alpha's bonded died, they usually died too. Or were put down because the loss of their bonded drove them beyond saving. Maybe Nilfgaard didn't want to get their hands dirty and deal with yet another body. Their bloody and violent war had left many behind already. It was much easier to cut an Alpha loose and let others deal with the consequences of a grief maddened Alpha in their midst.

"You're far from Nilfgaard."

"Even further from Vicovaro." At least the Alpha could speak beyond single words. "I don't want to go back."

Sensing it was an opportunity, Jaskier smiled and stepped closer, saying, "Then you don't have to. It's as easy as that."

All his good intentions were misread and the Alpha hunched his shoulders, head dipped as if expecting a strike to come. He didn't relax, muscles tight with terror.

"Jaskier, give him some space." Geralt easily slipped between them again, unable to figure out just why the Alpha was so petrified of an Omega. Then again, looking at his neck, Geralt didn't have to imagine. "You've been causing the villagers a lot of problems, you know that, right?"

A mute, shamed nod was his answer.

"I've been hired to take care of the problem." Submission had many forms and Geralt had seen them all over the course of his long life. He never wished for anyone to be so scared of him that they pissed themselves but there he was. The Alpha before him looked ready to fall down and bare his throat and belly, any kind of domination had been probably beaten out of him. It made Geralt's job that little bit harder. "I don't kill without sense. Will you let us help you?"

Jaskier couldn't hold back anymore, he walked closer. "Please, Alpha. Let us offer you what we can."

The Alpha went crashing to his knees as Jaskier got closer, head back and throat bared even if the whites of his eyes were showing in fear and breaths came in short, harsh puffs. Immediately Jaskier backed away, hands up. "We won't hurt you. I won't touch you without your permission."

His words didn't seem to make a difference and Geralt made shooing motions at Jaskier. "Go back to Roach. We'll follow shortly."

Pouting only a little, Jaskier turned, trusting Geralt to know what was best. The only kinds of Alphas Jaskier had encountered were ones that were touch starved and desperate for any scrap of attention and kindness. An Alpha who shied from an Omega's presence was a new challenge and one that Jaskier wanted to very badly to take on. His pack couldn't bond, healed too quick for any such bite to take. It would be no hardship to take an Alpha who had alrady been claimed and cast aside. Bonding, while a romanticised dream, wasn't the be all and end all of pack relationships.

Soon enough Geralt approached with the other Alpha a few steps behind him, nervously clutching at a bag.

"Omega, may I present Cahir for your polite inspection?" He turned to Cahir. "Cahir, I present my Omega, Jaskier. He won't approach without your say so."

Message received, Jaskier waved from where he stood and tried to send a reassuring smile. "Welcome, Cahir. My Alpha brings me the most delighful companions to meet. Share our travels and camp for as long as you find comfort in it." The paltry amount of belongings in the bag couldn't have been much more than a change of clothes, probably stolen from the washing lines. "What's ours is yours."

"Thank you, Omega."

The honorific was nothing more than a trembling whisper and Jaskier nodded. "Just Jaskier. We don't abide by the demands of society."

Clearing his throat, Geralt drew attention back to himself. "I was thinking to head to Kaer Morhen a little earlier this year. If the Pack so wills it, Cahir will join us for the season as a visitor."

Mind already racing ahead, Jaskier nodded. He could see Cahir benefitting from Eskel's gentle approach. And perhaps even Lambert's brutal honesty might help bring Cahir out of his shell a little. Grinning, he agreed readily. "A fine idea. It would be nice to welcome the rest of the Pack home this time. I like the idea of greeting them with the same affection and readiness they usually have for us."

There was no doubt about it, winter was going to be an interesting one.

#geraskier #witchersexual jaskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier #cahir mawr dyffryn aep ceallach #reverse a/b/o #omega jaskier #alpha geralt #alpha cahir #tldr: alphas are hated by society

[twopoppies]

I'm a larrie. And I have a lot to unpack so if you don't want to answer this I get it but Buckle uppp

So I saw dwd teaser and I was weirdly aroused by that aggressive kissing scene. I was like ew (not because Harry and Florence aren't attractive persons but the context..) Unfortunately these types of toxic traits are romanticised so wildly. I got out of an abusive relationship and during the relationship i always thought giving your partner whatever they want is what love is and roughhousing around is what desire is and all that horrible things because that's what has been in the books I read and movies I watch throughout my childhood (not blaming anyone obv but just saying). If twilight is creepy then 50 shades of grey is a mindfuck. I know that it isn't healthy to base your love life on those now, but once upon a time it was the craze. The idea of innocence and corruption was idealized too much. I hated bdsm and I thought it was demeaning for a long time untill I stumbled upon a Tumblr post passionately dragging 50 shades through the mud and listing resources upon resources for safe bdsm practicing and crying about how there isn't a contract because nobody is selling their soul to anybody and it is a mutually beneficial relationship based on trust. So I kinda get why het harries are eating that up(not saying it's good. It's very very bad. I beleive our media consumption plays a role in our life and if this is what they idealize then I feel sad to think about their relationship) . That wasn't even a kiss !! That was aggressive and I'm pretty sure Alex (that's what Harry's character is rit?) was holding on to Florence's upper arms hard and was kinda hard to watch for me. I will obviously not be watching the movie cause it deals with many of my triggers and Harry is one of my comfort persons and I don't wanna see him act that way (eventhough I know it's a movie.. the subconscious mind is a mess) So if you're one of the kids who frequent Gina's blog solely to annoy her or us larries with horrible opinions of Harry (or Louis) .. keep in mind that this is not real life. I've been there and it was hard to get out of the relationship and I'm still facing the consequences and building yourself up after been torn down is not easy.

I feel kinda sad because you have mountains of instances and moments of Harry and Louis' loving, healthy relationship - supporting eachother, loving and writing songs about adoring eachother and having an incredible dynamic and beautiful personalities. And instead they focus on those superficial beards and their hand-hovering-on-waist-pictures. It's so not worth it and I don't know how they'll react to the real world. I will never sympathize with someone who are homophobic (or whatever reasons they give to not believe Larry) but I pity them.

Anyway it's not our job to make them understand anything but I just wanted to rant. Hope I haven't clogged up your anons too much!!

Hi darling. You haven’t clogged anything up at all. It’s actually a subject I’m really passionate about. Media (film/tv/books/advertising etc) has created a world where so many young (and not so young) people think the way you did. The idea of the “bad boy” tamed by the love of a “good woman” is so ingrained in our culture, that people fall into incredibly unhealthy relationships and confuse abuse with love and affection.

I know that clip in the teaser is barely seconds long, but people are very focused on it. Harry’s character, Jack, is a horribly abusive sociopath in this film. He might be attractive, but his behavior shouldn’t be romanticized. And yes, Jack looks like Harry, but we shouldn’t confuse the real Harry with a character he plays.

#don’t worry darling #don’t worry darling spoilers #abuse tw

[bondsmagii]

what's up ratthew! I remember reading about your posts about your university days and wanted to know if you have any tips for surviving uni. I'll be starting my three years of soc communications and am absolutely shitting myself at the thought but also so so happy.

holy FUCK man congrats first of all but I'm gonna be honest with you... I am probably not the best role model for uni life 😂 I had a miserable time at uni, and to be honest I'm trying to get myself back into uni so I can do another degree and actually have fun with it/work to my own standards this time. it was a total washout and while I have some good memories I ovwrwhelmingly suffered and died over and over every day for four years so like... 😬 you know?

anyway that disclaimer aside I do have some tips I've picked up, though a few might be a little niche thanks to the circumstances I picked them up in.

first of all: please let go of any expectations. there's a whole culture around what Uni Is Supposed To Be Like and let me tell you what... you come down hard with a bump if you're not prepared to do some romanticising. that's not to say there won't be moments, but try to have realistic expectations.

meet any housemates/roommates as soon as possible. get talking to them. try to go out for drinks or food together during the first week. you don't have to be best friends but you are going to be living together for a year so you might as well try to get along.

if your housemates turn out to be dicks don't take any shit. like obviously don't cause any trouble that you don't want to deal with but also don't let them dictate how the whole house goes. see above point. you only have to put up with them for a year. you can be a little evil, as a treat.

get involved with some clubs and societies. hands down all my best uni memories are because of the clubs I was in. it's some good craic and if you ever get on any administrative level it looks good when you apply for jobs/further education.

try to keep some sort of schedule, even if it's "study [x] for two hours every Tuesday" or whatever. doing a little bit of something throughout the term is way better than cramming at the end, trust me.

use the uni resources. make bold and constant use of the library, online collections, etc. you are paying for that shit so get your money's worth.

don't book any classes before 10am. you won't go. it's not physically possible. (if anyone reading this managed this feat, no you didn't and also I'm denouncing you before the committee for bourgeoise depravities.)

please god do you readings before classes. you might think you'll get away with it and maybe you will, at first, but one day EVERYONE is going to have the same "well everyone else will have done it so I can just coast" thought and all 12 of you will not do the reading and your tutor will tell you there's no point in continuing and send you all home and you'd think unplanned time off would be a treat but in fact the shame will be excruciating. just do the reading.

budget well for food but don't think you have to eat like shit all the time. you need good food to concentrate and to be happy so make sure you're not living on instant noodles plain every single day. bulk cook nice things, make time to cook, have a treat every now and then, whatever works. just don't buy into the myth that all students have to put utter crap in their bodies.

go a bit nuts. uni is a fantastic time for trying out new everything: names, aesthetics, hobbies, interests, outlooks, etc. embrace it. it's a lot of fun and lots of people are doing it, so the energy is wild.

if you hear anything strange calling your name from the forest behind your house, just leave it. (this may be specific to me.)

romanticise the shit out of whatever you want tbh

again, don't forget to have fun and go nuts. sincerely. uni is made for going a bit nuts.

try to do some studying every so often but as my degree proves, this is optional.

have fun and good luck!

#anon #asks