#oh connor you lying liar who lies

[clopinasworld]

"You ever dealt with deviants before?" (LIE) "No... This is the first time."

#oh connor you lying liar who lies #detroit become human #dbh connor #dbh hank #connor rk800 #hank anderson #dbh #dbh gifs #my gifs #rk800 #dbh rk800 #detroit: become human #dbh gif #gif #i am working on a few big art projects this month and making these gifs is helping me relax lol

[alegacyofmonsters]

Legacies 1x04 Rewatch:

Just seeing all the comic book decor in MG's room makes me so sad that we never got to see him and Landon geek out together

The amount of (lame) TVD cameos in S1 was wild considering they did not keep that energy up

If I had a nickel for every time the Salvatore School made a fake exchange program with Mystic Falls High over a murder, I'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice

"Who are you and what did you do with Hope Mikaelson?" Just you wait ...

The blatant use of TVD scenes for the exterior shots of MFHS and they couldn't even match the green filter of Legacies

Lizdon best friendism!!!

"Try not to deliberately alienate the entire student body." "I tried to be her friend when I was five and when I was nine and when I was thirteen." "I'm sorry we couldn't see why you were hurting back then." SCREAMING.

"Would you like to be the Robin to my Batwoman?" "Batwoman doesn't have a Robin." "Metaphor." FOR LESBIANISM.

"I'm working on offensive spells." Maybe we should've known she was blood thirsty from the start

Rosie and Finsie both have a breakfast scene BUT NOT JANDON OR POSIE. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?

No because how did Josie have Raf so wrapped around her finger and still manage to come up with a fake sob story about Lizzie winning him

Baby Handon, my beloveds

Hope 🤝 Lizzie 🤝 Accusing MG of failing at compulsion

Lizzie being so grossed out by MG's unrelenting advances and him STILL not getting the message. Oh I hate what this rewatch is doing to my best boy.

"Dana is dead." Oh no ... what are we gonna do ...

"I expect you to be with Hope when I do" hits so much harder knowing about 4x06

"You are a horrible liar." "I suck at lying." Okay Lizzie I see you

We were robbed of Cheerleader!Hope, even in an AU

I still need someone to edit "They're a gift from Cheryl" into a Hope Mikaelson x Cheryl Blossom edit

"Relax, Eeyore." Hope, your Lizzie is popping out.

"I don't even like any of you" but we all know who she's best friends with in the Human AU

Jed truly was terrible in the beginning. Like who is that? I don't know him. Bully!Jed isn't real unless you believe in him.

"I'm a feminist." You're a liar is what you are actually.

I really do miss S3 actual feminist MG. Bring him back to me already.

The casual Dana E.D. jokes were ... certainly a choice for a 2019 show ...

The Kaleb x Landon dynamic deserved more

"Years of practice with Lizzie" and we never once get to see it. Like??

"You're dead if you don't submit." I'm sorry but like has a werewolf student ever actually been murdered for not joining the pack? I feel like we would've heard about that.

"It's Sasha." Was Sasha even at the flag football game? How do they know her?

BASES IT OFF OF GREEK LORE. OH THE GREEK GODS SET UP WAS THERE. IT WAS THERE.

"My money's on your boyfriend." "He's not my boyfriend." She just wanted to hear you say it, sweetie.

"Whatever spun this is gonna come back and eat us." We couldn't be that lucky. Imagine how much better the series would have been.

I still ship Connor x Josie. I don't care.

Landon rushing in to save Josie. Oh Jandon serves whether you want to admit it or not.

The S1 Core 6 did not get enough scenes together

THE MOMENT IT ALL CHANGED FOR LIZZIE. OH GOD OH GOD. HOLD ON TIGHT.

THINGS ARE SHIFTING.

"I'm a twin. I don't do anything solo." You just spent the entire episode without Lizzie because being a hero is too much pressure??? You spent the whole last episode apart from her too???? It's only the fourth episode?????

It's almost laughable how much Josie lies. Like every other word out of her mouth is straight up false and she knows it.

Still think Jed x Rafael should have had a thing.

I miss this Handon angst. THIS. THIS IS THE GOOD STUFF. Not the circular conflict they got stuck in later.

"Being a hero is not more important than being safe." This is your suicidal daughter, my dude. She does not care about being safe.

"She thinks she's too good to give you the time of day." Actually it's

"Don't disrespect her like that. We got enough monsters out here as it is. We cannot become one of them." MG YOU DIDN'T DIE THE HERO. YOU LIVED LONG ENOUGH TO BECOME THE VILLAIN. GOD DAMN IT.

Wait a minute. Josie was stuck in a spider web, almost dying, and Landon saved the day instead of Penelope Park making an appearance? Penelope would have never.

"If you threaten my kids, Sheriff, I'll be the one coming for you." No, maybe I get it. Maybe I do still get the attraction.

#legacies #legacies cw #legacies 1x04 #legacies rewatch #hope mikaelson #lizzie saltzman #josie saltzman #landon kirby #rafael waithe #milton greasley #kaleb hawkins

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Dear Evan Hansen

You may have seen some ~online discourse~ about the film Dear Evan Hansen, an adaptation of the 2016 Broadway musical, and you might have wondered what all the hubbub is about. I mean, it’s a feel good story about a senior in high school, Evan Hansen (Ben Platt), who has some pretty severe anxiety and depression. While trying to fulfill an assignment from his therapist to write a letter to himself, his letter gets picked up by another student, Connor (Colton Ryan) - and later that day, Connor kills himself. Connor’s grieving parents and sister Zoe (Amy Adams, Danny Pino, and Kaitlyn Dever) are desperate to learn more from the boy they think was Connor’s best friend - after all, Connor’s suicide note was a letter addressed to “Dear Evan Hansen.” And, as you can imagine, Evan tells them about the unfortunate mistake and sits with them in their grief as they struggle to pick up the pieces of their lives. 

Just kidding! He lies to them, repeatedly, elaborately, expansively for months, constructing an entire false friendship with Connor that never happened, and ingratiating himself into the wealthy nuclear family he never had, in large part because he wants to get into Zoe’s pants! THIS IS THE PROTAGONIST OF THE STORY. Oh, and it’s a musical so there is a lot of singing and crying and singing WHILE crying and sometimes crying and not singing at all. But the #inspiration, you guys. 

Things I liked:

Pretty much everything but the story and Ben Platt’s performance. The supporting cast is stacked, and all of them do a great job at elevating material scraped directly out of a diaper worn by someone who just chewed their way through a copy of the DSM-5. 

A couple of the songs are damn catchy - “Waving Through a Window” and “You Will Be Found” are standouts for a reason - and here’s the thing, Platt sings them well. But as you’ll discover, there’s a lot more to a movie musical than just singing your part. 

Stephen Chbosky, the man behind every deep thought I and a lot of people in my generation had in 2006 after he wrote The Perks of Being a Wallflower, is a pretty good director. I particularly enjoyed the fanvid-type cuts in “Waving Through a Window” in conjunction with the lyrics, and his use of interstitial shots to flashbacks (and sometimes flashforwards!) is a neat little bit of shorthand that I thought was used sparingly enough to be effective. 

Amy Fucking Adams. She’s holding on so hard, so desperately to the idea of who her son could have been, rather than the reality of who he was, and she is full of such deep pain that is masked by an almost endless supply of patience with Evan and relentless positivity. All this made me want was Enchanted 2 even worse than I already did. 

Super into everything Zoe wears - the costuming department did a great job, and now all I want to do is live in mom jeans and baggy sweaters.

Did I Cry? I teared up a couple of times because I’m not a completely heartless bastard and when Amy Adams offered Evan Connor’s college money, my heart broke for the lie Evan had thrust upon her, and Julianne Moore’s song got me good, because she’s just a single mom to Evan who is doing her goddamn best. 

Things I hated more than the time I dropped a frozen gallon container of fruit cocktail on my pinkie toe in my parents’ garage and it turned black and I thought it was gonna fall off:

Ben Platt is 28 years old. He originated the role of Evan Hansen on Broadway, so in many respects it makes sense that he plays the role in the movie, except for the one kinda sorta important thing where he looks like a wizened old crone standing amongst a sea of children doing his best twitching, cringing Hunchback of Notre Dame impression. If you want someone to convincingly play 20 years their junior, hire Paul Rudd. Otherwise, please don’t ask me to believe that this supposed 18-year-old has crow’s feet. 

And that twitching nervous energy is a huge part of the black hole at the center of this film - he’s playing to the cheap seats and walking through the halls of his high school like a wet chihuahua. It’s an excruciating acting choice to watch - he doesn’t just have anxiety, he is on the verge of a nervous breakdown seemingly every second of every day. Like honestly, where is only-mentioned-never-seen Dr. Sherman, because this young man’s meds are NOT WORKING DR. SHERMAN. 

There’s such a lack of self-awareness on behalf of the writing, directing, and performance by Platt. There’s one song, “Sincerely, Me,” that offers the only glimpse of commentary about what Evan is doing, by pointing out the malicious ridiculousness of him writing a series of fake emails as proof of his and Connor’s friendship. 

Also what high schoolers email this much?? I know this was written in probably 2014 or so, but has a bitch never heard of a text? Even a DM? This whole plot is constructed around the premise that high schoolers are just constantly, constantly emailing each other. 

Everything - and I mean EV-ER-Y-THING - about Evan’s relationship with Zoe is so creepy and disturbing that with a soundtrack change, this could easily be a horror movie. He attempts to get her to like him by describing to her all the things her brother noticed about her - oh wait, I’m sorry, all the things HE noticed about her while he was skulking in the shadows following her around for years, watching every move she made, and it ends with him singing repeatedly “I LOVE YOU” because following a girl around and never having a conversation with her or knowing her at all is love, right? This was clearly written by the same people who chose “Every Breath You Take” as their wedding song because Sting is hot and they never actually listened to the damn words. 

And it gets about 10 billion times worse when Zoe goes to Evan’s house alone, takes him up to his room, and sings “I don’t need reasons to want you” and that was the moment I was that person I hate in a movie theater and I pulled out my phone to Google who wrote the music and lyrics to the musical (we were in the back row of the theater no one was behind me THIS WAS AN OUTRAGE EMERGENCY) and of motherfucking course it was written by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, 2 men who heard about meeting an actual human woman from a friend one time but otherwise are unfamiliar with the concept. 

Lastly, enormous serial killer vibes from Evan sending unlabeled flash drives anonymously through the mail with no note in an attempt to right his wrongs. That’s not catharsis, that’s how the next installment in the Saw franchise starts, with Evan in a Billy the clown doll mask showing up on the screen and asking if you want to play a fucking game. 

Also, I know it’s not possible for the narrative to justify this in a way that could be satisfying based on Evan’s actions, but what is with this thing where single working-class mom Julianne Moore is turning down rich people’s money for Evan to go to college? Like, obviously we can’t have that happen in the movie but in real life, fuck your pride! Take those rich people’s money!

I also know how movies work but nothing annoys me more than a giant group of high schoolers all getting beeps and boops to indicate text notifications all at the same time because I don’t know a single person under the age of 55 who keeps their ringer on. That shit is on vibrate AT MOST, and I feel like that’s a millennial thing. 

The emotional climax of the film is obviously Evan’s WAY TOO LATE confession, but the idea that it’s prompted by Connor’s family suddenly getting a lot of internet hate is, frankly, laughable. If Sandy Hook taught me one thing, it is that no tragedy is immune from trolls who live only to cause other people devastating emotional pain on the internet. That shit starts day 1. Apparently no one involved in this production has ever been on Twitter?

Also it feels like there should have been a dog somewhere in this movie and there was no dog, so points off for that too. 

Perhaps Dear Evan Hansen isn’t nearly as deep as it aspires to be. Perhaps it’s a morality play, a simplistic message of “Don’t lie, kids, lying is bad!” Major studio movies wrap themselves up with a nice bow at the end so everyone can feel good about themselves and leave with a happy ending, but the moronic cruelty on display here makes that feat feel impossible. We’re left with Evan in an orchard, reading Connor’s favorite books and staring into the big blue sky with all the self-actualization he’s earned now as a lil treat. And if Evan Hansen looked like an actual 18-year-old, it would be a lot easier to extend more empathy to him and his not-fully-developed prefrontal cortex, but it’s a little harder with this fully-grown, weathered man who was old enough to remember seeing Liar Liar in theaters. 

Dear Evan Hansen, 

Get some actual help and a haircut and maybe you can grow up enough to have an actual healthy interaction with any other living person, ever.

Sincerely, 

Me

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

#121in2021 #dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen review #dear evan hansen 2021 #ben platt #amy adams #kaitlyn dever #julianne moore #colton ryan #danny pino #movie reviews #film reviews

[miraclesnail]

1000 ways but part 34

I am finally done with all of Michael’s part! Yes! Took well over a year and lots, lots of procrastination not helped by anime, but it’s done!

ao3 link

series summary: A thousand ways to tell the Stoll brothers apart and I can name you one. Travis and Connor centric oneshots featuring characters from PJO/HOO. 

Part 34: Michael - Listen

Entire fic is under the read more but not formatted correctly 

cw: MCD

 Michael — Listen

Michael (16) - Travis (16) - Connor (15)

August 2009

During The Last Olympian

   "I'll come back."

That's what he promised to mom, right? What he said? The very last thing he said?

"I'll come back."

The bridge is unstable.

"I'll come back."

The pillar he's sitting at is too wobbly. It's going to collapse.

"I'll come back."

Percy is signaling for him to get off and to get off now.

"I'll come back."

But there's a demigod on the other side, nocking an arrow with eyes locked onto Percy.

"I'll come back."

Percy, who is the leader. Who will guide them out of this mess. Who has done so much. Faced so much. Who's been carrying a weight none of them can understand. Percy, who deserves to make it to the very end. To live to the very end and be happy.

Annabeth took a knife for Percy for a reason even though Percy was on a fucking roll, fighting like he's invincible. Maybe he's not so invincible. Maybe, like Annabeth's stabber, the others know how to take Percy down too.

Michael can't let that happen.

Percy is going to live and Michael is going to teach Percy how to finally shoot an arrow straight.

He spends five more seconds, getting an arrow ready and shooting it into the demigod's chest.

"I'll come back."

Then he slings his bow over his shoulder and starts descending down the bridge.

"I'll come back."

He knows before he even takes his first step down.

He's not going to get off on time. He's not going to make it. He's going to die. He's out of arrows. He can't zipline down to safety like he normally would. It's too far. He can't climb down that fast. He can't fly or jump or do some crazy parkour to land himself in safety.

He's not going to make it.

He's going to die.

"I'll come back."

Don't give up, his mom screams, screeches, begs in his mind. Try. You have to try.

His four siblings cry in his head too, pleading, Please, Mikey!

Try. Try try try try trytrytrytrytry. Try.

"I'll come back."

The last ropes holding the bridge up snaps.

I'll come back.

He's falling.

He's not going to make it.

I'm going to die.

No, no, no. Fight. He'll come back. He promised them. So fight.

Throw the bow. Try to place it on the ledge. Your siblings will know you fell. They will search for you. Just survive the fall and the rapids, survive not breaking your bones, survive not drowning, then you can finally watch High School Musical with your family, teach Will and Percy how to shoot an arrow accurately, listen to Austin geek over his Youtube channel one more time, watch Kayla train for the Olympics, fight Clarisse over dumb shit, scrabble with Travis and Connor over dumber shit, tease Sherman for his crush on Miranda. Survive and he can do all of that.

But he hits the rocky sides of the ravine headfirst — hard, disorienting, probably concussed now — before falling into the rapids below, sinking under the fast currents and water filling his lungs.

   He thinks he must have fallen unconscious or passed out or something. By the time he opens his eyes the blue sky is all red, the air a bit dusty. Everything looks faded and bleak. He's lying on his back beside the ravine Percy opened up, feet dangling over the edge. Will, Kayla, Austin, all his siblings are gone. Michael stands and looks for his bow. He knew he tossed it here somewhere. He looks. And looks. And looks. Along the ravine's edge. Around the ravine. A few feet away from the edge. Something's wrong. It's gone. His bow nowhere to be found. Nothing is to be found exactly. No blood. No dust. Not even stray and broken arrows. And Michael knows he broke at least three and tossed them aside. Did his siblings really take it with them? For what? Repairs? Those assholes. It's just arrows. They can always make more.

"Michael?"

Ah finally. A person. One of the Stoll brothers. Standing alone in the middle of the car-littered street in the typical orange shirt and bronze armor. Michael runs up to him, ignoring the way the other counselor takes a step back.

"Where is everyone? Are they all okay?" he asks.

Travis, Connor, he still can't tell them apart after all these years, but his co-counselor doesn't answer. Instead opting to keep staring at him with a disbelieving glint to their eyes.

"What?" he says, irritation piling up by the second as Travis or Connor just continues to stare. "What is it?" He's still just staring and Michael has enough. He snaps his fingers in front of the eyes. "Come on. We don't have all day. We're in a middle of a fucking battle in case you didn't notice."

At that, Stoll finally snaps out of it, shaking his head once. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Come on. Let's go."

Then he's taking off down the middle of the street, walking fast and rigid. Michael follows beside him, cautiously. Travis… Or Connor, whichever one he's with, they're usually a bit more chatty, a bit more loose-limbed. "What's wrong with you?" Michael questions, "Did something happen?"

"What? Nothing happened! Everything is peachy! Everything is fine!" The high-pitched laugh says it's anything but fine. "But I could go for a run or some strawberry ice cream right now. Or just strawberries. I am starving. What do you say about taking a detour before we meet up with the others? For old times sake?"

Michael squints at the son of Hermes, who suspiciously keeps his eyes forward. "Are you Travis?"

"You've known us for two years and you still can't tell us apart? That's pretty sad, Mikey." But Travis nods to confirm, still not looking at him.

"You're acting funny. What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," Travis lies again, walking faster.

"Stop with the bullshit. Something is wrong."

"Nothing is—"

Michael darts in front of Travis, the son of Hermes just barely stopping in time to avoid colliding with him. "Tell me the truth. What happened? Is it Will? Did something happen to my cabin?"

Travis's head is lowered. It's hard to see his face. But Travis's fists curl by his side, tight, before forcibly relaxing. And when Travis picks his head up, there's the usual carefree, does-not-gives-a-fuck expression Michael is used to.

"Michael," Travis says, "how do you feel?"

"Fine. Great even. Now tell me what's—"

"No sores? No pain anywhere?" Travis pushes.

Now that Travis mentions it, he feels perfect. No aching. No pangs. No bruises. Not even a scratch or drop of blood on him.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

Falling.

He was falling.

The bridge. Shooting an arrow. Climbing down.

Falling

Into the ravine.

He hits something, hard and rocky.

Then water.

The struggle to breathe. The panic. The flailing.

And then—

"I'm dead, aren't I?"

Travis turns his back to him, stares at the fire-tinted sky. "Yeah," he mumbles.

Dead. He died. He's dead.

I didn't make it.

I won't be coming back.

Michael swallows, tries to collect himself, blinks hard at the tears he can feel are coming. None of it works. Plan B. Distraction. Focus on something else. Anything else.

"Are you dead too?" Michael asks.

"What? Oh, no, my dad leads souls to the underworld but he's kinda busy right now fighting Typhon so we're doing it for him. Everyone is at the Empire State Building right now, resting. Connor and a couple others have the drachmas for the ferry fare. I'm just leading all the wandering spirits to them."

"Shouldn't you be resting too?"

"Too wired for that," Travis says with a high-pitched laugh. "I raided a convenience store a while ago and downed like ten Monster drinks. Probably won't sleep for like a week. Don't tell Will, but I did not pay for the drinks."

"That's not healthy."

"Yeah, I know. Connor took away the remaining five or so I was going to drink. Totally unfair. Speaking of unfair, you're not going for rebirth right? If you are, then before you reincarnate could you tell Beckendorf that he was mean to boobytrap his chest box? Like, yeah, it took Connor a day to figure out how to open it but spraying pink dye and glitter? That's cruel."

Michael's lips twitch upwards. He remembers that well. Serves them right though for not respecting the dead. "Yeah, I could pass the message for you."

He could see it before Travis could start. The way he twiddles his thumb, the side-eye away, the scratching of the cheek. "... Speaking of messages, do you want me to—"

"No."

"But she's your—"

"Drop it, Travis," Michael snaps and Travis did, shrugging but not without a mumble, "At least I tried."

Travis starts walking again, to the Empire State Building, and Michael falls into step beside him.

Travis talks. About Beckendorf. About his fight on the Brooklyn Bridge. About Lee. About Annabeth's stab wound and her near death. About his dead siblings. About Connor. About his ex-cabinmates he saw just now. About herding enemies and friends alike along in this boundary state of life and death. Travis talks. And talks. And talks. And Michael listens dutifully, doesn't allow himself to think of anything else.

They near the building. The streets remain empty. But Travis waves at empty air and laughs at a joke that isn't there, responding to someone he can't see or hear. He wonders if his cabinmates are nearby. He wonders if they're okay. He wonders if they know he's dead. He wonders if one of them, any of them, will tell his mom and siblings. That he's dead. That he won't be coming back. That he's a big, fucking liar and an asshole and an idiot and incompetent and a screw-up and a—

"We're here. Connor is over there." Travis points to the entrance where Connor sits on the curb, bags of drachmas by his side. "I'll be going now. Lots of other demigods to herd over here. Ciao."

Travis about faces and walks away fast. In a fleet of panic, Michael turns too and utters, "Wait. Can you tell my mo—" but he chickens out. He cows under Travis's stare. He turns back around and mutters instead, "Watch over my cabin. Especially Will. I better not see any of them for a long, long time or… or I'll kick your ass."

"Okay," Travis promises, "We'll watch over them. You can count on us. I'll die before I'll let anything happen to them."

"That's not what I—" The words fall on deaf ears. Travis is gone, running down the empty street in a blur. God, he hopes he didn't just jinx Travis's fate. He already feels shitty enough.

Michael trudges to where Connor is sitting on the curb, a cheek on his hand and seemingly bored. But the way his eyes twitch ever so slightly to the side and the way he flips a drachma towards an empty space, the coin disappearing in thin air, the way Connor's face grimaces for a second before gathering itself back into impassivity, he's anything but. And when the blue eyes fall on him, Michael watches them go from surprise to grief to weary to forced indifference, all in two seconds.

"Hey," he greets, coughing once to get the lump out of his throat, "Can I have a coin?"

Connor glances down at the drachma in his hand. Then he glances up at him. And grins. He fucking grins.

"Sure," Connor says, standing slowly, "But for a price."

"What price?" But Michael knows. Michael can see it just the same way he saw it in Travis.

"What do you want to tell your mortal family?"

"Nothing," he grits out. "I don't have anything to say."

"They deserve to know," Connor reasons, needlessly. "Especially since you left them in the worst way possible."

"I know that," Michael snaps. "I was there."

"So? Your message?"

"I saw you handing out the coins without any of that bullshit. Why are you hassling me?!"

Connor shrugs. "Consider it penance for bothering Travis on your first day."

Michael darts forward, intending to just take it by force but his hands phases through Connor's clenched fist like he's Casper the Friendly Ghost. Connor steps back and rolls the drachma across his fingers, grinning all the while. Come and try again. Michael can literally hear the taunt even if Connor doesn't say anything.

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

"Fine. Fine!" Michael yells, "Tell them that I'm fucking sorry. I am so fucking sorry I lied and I can't even do something as easy as staying alive. I'm sorry for leaving without really saying goodbye. I'm sorry I screwed up so bad. I'm sorry for never accomplishing anything. I'm sorry for not becoming someone to be proud of. I'm sorry for doing absolutely nothing in my life. I'm sorry, okay?"

His half-siblings pop into mind. He's leaving them without saying goodbye too. He's leaving them when he's still needed. He's leaving them at the height of the fucking war… but the last battle if they win this. Better not here for the peak then absent for the entire year. Better to die like this then live shamefully and cowardly behind closed doors, wandering if his dad's side of the family is doing okay, if they're struggling, if they're even alive.

"I don't regret it. I don't regret what I did. Even knowing that I die, I wouldn't change the choice I made."

Connor smiles mirthlessly. "For what it's worth, I think your family would be proud of you."

"Yeah, yeah, you got your message. Make Chiron deliver it. I don't know how my mom will react and at least Chiron is immortal. Now give me the damn coin," Michael grumbles and holds a hand out, palm up and definitely not sniffling. "You better not join me in heaven. I need at least five decades, maybe a century, to get over what an incredible asshole you and Travis are. Come any earlier and I will literally kick your ass."

Connor rolls his eyes. "It's called Elysium and demigods live on average to 21. It's probably lower if you exclude the outliers."

Lee, died at 19. Beckendorf, died at 18. Castor, at 17. Then that new hunter of Artemis he never met but heard stories about, 12. Oh god. All his friends are going to die young. The only retort Michael can come up with is, "Well, try. I don't want to see your ugly mug."

Connor rolls his eyes again, but he's earnest when he says, still with that languid grin, "I'll miss you, Mike," Then his hand, dangling over his, opens up.

Me too, he tries to say but then the facade drops. Connor turns away but not before Michael can see his face crumpling, caving in. The tears made him freeze. He hesitates. He wavers. The coin lands in his palm before he could say anything and Connor is gone, replaced by thousands upon thousands of the dead all stumbling towards the ferry.

Michael sees Lee and Beckendorf as he waits his turn to board the ferry. It's just their outlines, faint and far, far away, but he knows it's them. And god, it's been so long since he saw Lee. For Beckendorf, it's only been a couple days, but the wave of grief it brings is fresh. They're petting Cerberus, he thinks. Beckendorf is waving a toy around for two of the heads. Lee is strumming his guitar, leaning against the last head who listens with contentment.

He'll pass by them on his way to be judged.

He wonders what they'll say when they see him.

Or should he just sneak by without saying anything and then surprise them at heaven's gate or something?

He's still contemplating what to do when there's a flutter of wings landing beside him. A note is pressed into his hand. Hastily scribbled in Greek. Half of it is unreadable.

"From your dad," whispers the wind, before it's fluttering away just as fast.

   Hey, Michael. I was going to visit ——— entered the Underworld. Uncle Hades ———— come willy-nilly except for Hermes. But Artemis said if I leave right now, ———Typhon ——— barely contained, she’ll sic her ————on me for all of eternity. Even now, as I am writing this, Artemis is giving me the stink eye. She doesn’t think———————————— but I’m proud of you——————you’re a hero—————I love you. 

—Apollo

#michael yew #travis stoll #connor stoll #pjo #fanfiction #cw character death #angst #Now I am going to go buy my gift for secret santa #massively happy I am finally done with Michael #Couldn't write anything else until I get his done #ao3 #my writing #1000 ways

[theskyexists]

Jeeze

I've only seen one Christmas movie before in truth - and that was AWFUL - like, the second hand embarrassment was insane - and in the end she....kinda swapped her boyfriend for his brother? Lol. I enjoyed it for how awful it felt to watch and how the whole family bullied the main character because she was so socially inept/insecure. The escalation was incredible and the catharsis was uh....death. That has given me the impression that Christmas movies are all about dealing with family and relationship and personal problems and the way those three interact this movie really seems to be in that tradition - and I like it.

It's amazing how fucked up Harper's family is and it's amazing how much rejection and disdain and indifference and being left behind Abby is having to take. Like - damn. She's gonna have to express that soon or things will BLOW. Harper is being very stupid and selfish but I understand completely how it might come to this.

I love the chemistry between Abby and Riley - it's such a breath of fresh air - it's a GREAT contrast with the suffocating toxicity of Harper's family and their circles and etc.

Oh Harper - you fuckin dick

It would be funny if she lost her second girlfriend whom she's hiding from her family and throwing under the bus to her first girlfriend who she hid and threw under the bus.

I mean tragic of course. But I'm feeling slightly spiteful.

Kstew has SUCH great hair in this my god!

Harper you fuckin dick

I know exactly how this feels and it feels AWFUL

Harper you IDIOT you're risking your relationship you're risking it alllll

Also Abby is kinda an idiot' for lying the whole time. She's either a great liar or really Harper is wanting to believe her lies

Harper is clearly so stupid and scared all the time and also an asshole because of it. She has no space in her brain beyond : gotta make sure I make my parents proud & gotta make sure nobody finds out im gay

No band width

If I was Abby I'd be like - ok BYYYYEEEEE

Just to make her feel what she's breaking

Oh! She's actually trying to do that. Sucks u came here in your gf's car

Yes!!!! Go to her ex the only one who's treated you decently!!! HAHAHAHAHA

Jezus christ this mother....

AND hypocrisy about exes from Harper too.

Oh how the fuck could this turn out well for them ever???

LOVE how them being buddies is eating her. What has she told Abby???

Oh my god that break up HURT like HELL - so quick, so deserved, so tragic, so stupid, so awful. What a great shot. Great director.

Yeah Harper I get the shitty situation you're in but you haven't done enough I'm afraid. I mean, what the fuck was that with the friends and with Connor and letting her family and friends dismiss her roommate which means FRIEND. Yeah cos she's been trained to, yes bc she's working on 2 % brain power and the rest is spent on being afraid. BUT WHO WAS HURT IN THIS SITUATION

Yeah but it's hard not to offer comfort to a person you love when they're in pain

Ofc the fuckin sister comes in

The way they never have any privacy is really the problem

Oh god John - WHY. No no no I can't get through THIS part

'no one's supposed to know yet - we had an agreement' ???????

This is going to be........... Disastrous. Isn't it. Oh I am preparing myself in order to ENJOY these shitty parents' downfall and not feel the second hand lash of the whip

Do love how them being such shit parents sure is finally blowing up in their faces. HOORAY.

(agghhhhhhhhhhhhgggh)

Wow Sloane. Harper get her back. Just rip it all to shreds

Oh no. Nope. Harper fuckin hell. Please don't do denial. Just tell them that uhhhh her husband is cheating (is that what was happening?)

Oh NOOOOOOOOOOO

No!!!!

*office gif I can't find* NO!!!!! NO!!!

I can't seem to continue the video. Ok harden my heart. Just . Good practice. Harden heart.

Oh it keeps going. Oh fuck.

Welp. Guess you've lost it all. After all. Idiot.

Ah she was trying to go there but she never got there because she went denial first and that unexpectedly sounded really terrible. Yeah that's realistic. So in character so far. Thinks things will be simple and doesn't even imagine the hurt it causes others.

Liked the little shot of Sloane being like hmmm.....that didn't feel as good as I thought it would.

Damn these children are all horrifically stunted. Except Jane.

Jane is really wonderful and my heart hurts so much for her and she made me laugh about joining the fight. And I'm glad Harper looked stricken about what she'd done. (Once again, very in character). The thing is, I would have just pushed Sloane to the floor and screamed in her face as I shook her very violently. Pretty sure anyone untrained in martial arts would do that. But this is a film.

I like how they've basically made all these sisters equal in their parents' eyes - and destroyed their dads career in one fell swoop. Welll done! Finally some breathing room.

Oh god....that's so heartbreaking. Abby.....her parents. Christmas.... They really didn't tell each other enough at all huh

I know that John is right but it's still really hurtful though! Like goddamn

'I wanna be with someone who is ready' THAT'S AN AMAZING THING - BECAUSE THAT'S ALSO PERFECTLY VALID.

'you ok' from Riley. Wow

Harper now's the time to apologise for what you did. YES

god that was her best friend. She lost so much to this SHIT

NOOOOOOOO SHE DID IT!!!!! SHE DID IT!!!!

I'm fucking crying

Your career ruined your family's well-being! Greatttt!

THEY WENT BACK??? THEY DIDNT GO HOME??? WHAT THE FUCK LOL

I'd have just left

I guess its a good thing they didnt

Ok I guess - the - uh - I guess its cos the stress is gone but like - this also very much reads like - if you're a romantic partner you get to be important and otherwise not. Also I get why it's gotta be Mother, but this is Harper once again dropping the ball and not inviting Abby herself lol.

I knew Jane's book was gonna do well just from her brief plot description lol. So Happy John was so interested. Oh MY GOD I FORGOT HE WAS A PROFESSIONAL EDITOR. sneaky sneaky writing

I thought the height difference was gonna be awkward but so far it's actually been really cute

That was a great ending shot

THE DAD STILL WON? WOW wtf lol

OH MY GOD RILEY IS WITH THEM AT PRIDE AND SEEMS TO HAVE A GF! Those insta posts are actually a great epilogue.

#my stuff #vidi #happiest season #this was unexpectedly a great movie?????? #bit sad about not seeing the proposal #for the first time in my life

[karihighman]

I love this job more than I imagined I could. The day I stop giving it my all is the day I walk away.”

–John Nolan (Nathan Fillion), 2×14 “Casualties”

The quote above really encapsulates the draw of ABC’s police dramedy (that’s drama-comedy) The Rookie. The Nathan Fillion led series was ordered back in spring 2018, and aired its first season from 2018-2019. It’s currently in its second season, with a new episode airing this Sunday, April 26. In light of that – and because I’ve since managed to get 2 of my friends hooked on it – I decided I’d write up a few reasons as to why you should definitely check out this show…if you haven’t already!

Reason #1: The cast

(ABC/Andrew Eccles)

Yes, Nathan Fillion of ABC’s Castle headlines the series, but there’s a whole slew of cast members that carry the show just the same. Not to mention, you’ve probably seen them on other TV shows or films prior to their appearance on The Rookie.

CURRENT CAST (as of season 2–onward):

Nathan Fillion portrays John Nolan, the 45-year-old “rookie” who decided to pack up and move to LA to join the LAPD after a robbery at his local bank in Pennsylvania made him question his life decisions. You’ve probably seen him on: Castle, Firefly, Two Guys & a Girl, and/or Con Man.

Alyssa Diaz portrays Angela Lopez, one of three TOs (training officers) at the Mid-Wilshire Police Department in Los Angeles, California. You’ve probably seen her in: As the World Turns, Army Wives, The Nine Lives of Chloe King, and/or Ray Donovan.

Richard T. Jones portrays Sergeant Wade Grey, who is the immediate boss of the TOs, and is also responsible for their rookies, as well as the remainder of the police under his command at the station. You’ve probably seen him in: Judging Amy, Why Did I Get Married?/Why Did I Get Married Too?, and/or Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

Titus Makin Jr. portrays Jackson West, the second in the trio of rookies. His father is the head of LAPD’s Internal Affairs, so he’s struggled some with having to prove himself outside of his father’s shadow. You’ve probably seen him in: Glee, Starcrossed, Pretty Little Liars, and/or The Path.

Melissa O’Neil portrays Lucy Chen, the 28-year-old hotshot who completes the trio of rookies in the LAPD. She decided to become a cop on a whim, but she loves it so much now, even though it’s the opposite of what her psychologist parents want her to do career-wise. You’ve probably seen her in/on: Canadian Idol, Dark Matter, and/or as a part of the Broadway musical Les Miserables.

Eric Winter portrays Tim Bradford, the second training officer under Sgt. Grey. He’s first seen as the no-nonsense type, but has since softened some during season 2. You’ve probably seen him in: The Mentalist, Witches of East End, The Ugly Truth, and/or Days of Our Lives.

Mekia Cox portrays Nyla Harper, a former undercover detective turned training officer. She’s quite a badass, and does whatever she can to excel at work, as it’ll earn points in her favor, because she’s fighting for custody of her daughter with her ex-husband. You’ve probably seen her in: 90210, Chicago Med, Secrets & Lies, and/or Once Upon a Time.

CURRENT RECURRING CAST (as of season 2–onward):

Image Credits: (ABC/Christopher Willard); (ABC/Richard Cartwright); and (ABC/Eric McCandless)

Ali Larter as Dr. Grace Sawyer, a former flame of John’s from his college days. She now works at Shaw Memorial Hospital, and while she and John reconnect as just friends first, they eventually ramp it up to dating.

Harold Perrineau as Detective Nick Armstrong, a new night detective that assists the LAPD with their case load after their regular shifts. He becomes involved more so when notorious serial killer Rosalind Dyer is brought to Grey’s station per a deal with the DA.

Shawn Ashmore as Wesley Evers, a lawyer that is currently dating Angela Lopez. The two have been living together since the start of season 2, and are now engaged as of episode 16.

Jasmine Matthews as Rachel Hall, a social worker who is one of Lucy’s best friends, and currently the girlfriend of Tim Bradford.

Daniel Lissing as Sterling Freeman, Jackson’s boyfriend who’s (ironically? meta-ly?) the star of a cop show, Hot Suspect.

Sarah Shahi as Jessica Russo, who is an FBI agent that was brought in to work a biological terror attack. She and John have a brief relationship, but break it off by episode 6 of season 2.

FORMER CAST (season 1): 

Mercedes Mason portrayed Captain Zoe Andersen, who was the tough but fair captain of the LAPD. She believed Nolan’s life experience would be good for the department. She was killed in episode 16 by a gang member who made an attempt on Nolan’s life.

Afton Williamson portrayed Talia Bishop, Nolan’s former training officer. She came off as brash at first, but she did help John a lot during his first six months on the job. She left the LAPD for a job with ATF; Afton exited the series after season 1 ended.

FORMER RECURRING CAST (season 1): 

Mircea Monroe as Isabel Bradford, Tim’s ex-wife. She was an undercover officer, but got hooked onto drugs which made her lose her job, and consequently, her husband. Tim tried to help her numerous times, but they’d been estranged for a year. She did finally get clean; but they decided it’d be best to separate, as Tim did not want to remind her of her old life.

Michael Beach as Commander Percy West, Jackson’s father who runs Internal Affairs for the LAPD. He and his son had their tough moments, but the two seemed to have reconciled in the season 1 finale after Jackson’s heroic efforts to stop a viral criminal.

*random fun fact: Mekia’s not the only one with a One Chicago tie-in. Alyssa Diaz actually worked with Chicago PD actor Jesse Lee Soffer on As the World Turns, and Michael Beach actually just finished a recurring role on Chicago PD as Darius Walker. Joelle Carter, who portrayed Shawn Christian’s character’s wife in the “Hawke” episode, has been on not one, but 3 One Chicago shows. Two of which portraying Laura Nagel (Chicago PD for 1 episode, and the spinoff Chicago Justice); she guested on Chicago Med this year.

Just wanted to toss that tidbit in there since quite a few fans of The Rookie have also been fans of the One Chicago franchise – at least that I’ve interacted with on social media! 

Reason #2: The balance of dramatic cases with humorous banter between the officers

(ABC/Ron Batzdorff)

(ABC/Ron Batzdorff)

While The Rookie is no means a straight comedy, it’s also not technically a classic police procedural either. That’s a good thing, as the balance of the lighter comedic moments interspersed with the dramatic or sometimes gruesome cases is what makes the show so damn entertaining. Oh, and did I mention there are bloopers? Because there are bloopers, and they are hilarious. Click here & here to see those!!

Reason #3: The pairs (TOs & Rookies)

(ABC/Ron Batzdorff)

Ah yes, another reason why The Rookie works so well. The pairings of the training officers with their respective rookie is spot-on. In season 1 you had the new, upbeat, John Nolan paired with spunky Talia Bishop; and the two bounced off each other quite nicely. John’s new TO, Nyla Harper, is just as sassy, if not sassier than Talia, but in a way, she’s a little more grounded, as she has a young daughter to consider. That’s something they have in common, as John has a 20 year old son, Henry.

(ABC/Christopher Willard)

Another pair is Angela Lopez and Jackson West. Sure, you would think: oh, here are two ambitious, young, intelligent people, so they should feed off each other, right? Wrong…at least not at first. And that’s what was so refreshing about it. Was that you had the push-and-pull between them that made you wonder if West could really stick it out with Lopez. He eventually did get over his “stage fright” when gunfire was occurring, but it took time; and it was realistic to see Angela be tough, yet understanding with him when it came to things like that. Not to mention, Jackson’s helped her out on the relationship front a few times, as he’s listened to her issues with dating, and Wesley. He even was the one who put the idea of a proposal in her head when they were at a stakeout! The two are really jiving, and it’s fun to see!

(ABC/Christopher Willard)

Last but not least is the duo of Bradford and Chen. They couldn’t be more opposite from each other at first glance: you’ve got tough-as-nails Tim, who’s got to train positive, spirited Lucy. Sounds like a little bit of a clash, right? It seemed like it at first, as Tim was very tough on Lucy; but he’s since let down his guard a little, which has been cool to see. He’s balanced out Lucy’s energy, and the two have since been so in-sync, it’s a little crazy at times (but in the best way possible)!

Reason #4: The “ships” (couples) of the show

(ABC/Christopher Willard)

Image Credit: Twitter/TheRookie

Image Credit: IG @TheRookieABC.

(ABC/Christopher Willard)

Image Credit: IG @TheRookieABC

Ah yes, the part that a lot of fans (myself included!) love about our favorite TV shows: the couples that pair off in it! It’s also worth mentioning that fans usually get excited about “should be” couples aka: people that they think should be together/dating/a couple/etc.

As far as The Rookie goes, there are actually quite a few well-established couples on the show, especially in season 2! If you need or want a quick season 1 refresher: Tim was technically still married to his now ex-wife, Isabel; Jackson had a brief relationship with Gino; Angela and Wesley had begun dating; and yes, John & Lucy had a brief thing early on!

Now, for season 2, you’ve got: Jackson & Sterling; Tim & Rachel; Wesley & Angela; John & Grace (John was previously dating Jessica); aaaaaaand the fan-favorite should-be couple: Tim & Lucy. The final “couple” is actually how I got hooked onto The Rookie – thank you social media for all the #Chenford/#Tucy hashtags!!

Most everyone loves these relationships because they’re fun, endearing, dramatic, and sometimes even a little bit funny. It’s quite a nice counterbalance to all the death and destruction the LAPD encounters on the streets everyday, you know? Plus, who hasn’t found a couple on a show that they like a lot, right? It’s fun to interact with other fans about it too – which is part of the reason why “ships” are really effective.

Jackson and Sterling have that lovely push-and-pull dynamic, where, since Sterling’s a celebrity, and Jackson’s a cop, they had to keep it low-key at first. But now, since they’re technically out of the spotlight, they’re free to do as they please.

Tim and Rachel originally began as a bet, but, it turned into something more afterwards. Even though the two have had their little disagreements here and there, it’s been really interesting to see Tim open himself up to a new relationship after his wife in season 1. The fact that Rachel’s one of Lucy’s best friends is…beside the point. Although, for fans of Chenford/Tucy, it’s kind of comical, or ironic. I’m not quite sure which.

Speaking of Chenford, Tim & Lucy are the ones that fans have been clamoring to get together – even though technically, nothing can happen between the two until Lucy’s no longer a rookie (Tim’s her TO!). I’ll admit, I was originally intrigued by them because of their similarities to another “should-be” cop couple I ship: Upstead from Chicago PD; but, seeing how in-sync the partners are on The Rookie, I understand why everyone wants them to be more than that. I sure do!

Wesley and Angela have been steady since season 1, and his heartbreaking PTSD storyline in season 2 only brought them closer together, and showed just how strong of a relationship they have. Angela’s been super supportive, and Wesley’s always been confident in her abilities. They’re even the couple to beat in terms of major milestones: they’ve moved in together, and they’re engaged! YAY!

John and Grace were a little bit of a wildcard at the start, since they had a little bit of a history there. But, ever since they blossomed into friends, their transition into a relationship was relatively easy. It’s been nice to see John happy, and Grace seems to be really good for him right now.

Reason #5: The vibe behind the scenes

(ABC/Troy Harvey)

Last, but not least is the “vibe” behind the scenes of The Rookie. That includes the off-set antics the cast gets up to! It’s been really fun to scour social media and see their comments on not only The Rookie account, but on fan things too! The cast is also great about liking comments and posts that fans make, which is super-nice!

Not to mention, they’re just genuinely fun people – at least judging from their behind the scenes posts and on-set videos! From car sing-a-longs to random dance parties, there’s never a dull moment on The Rookie set! They’re such good sports. Not only does that camaraderie come through onscreen, but it helps the chemistry to translate nicely as well. Believability is part of what sells TV, and The Rookie has that skill down pat!

Bonus: Favorite Episodes So Far / Ones To Watch

Image Credits: (ABC/Richard Cartwright) and (ABC/Christopher Willard)

Note: this is just my own personal list, but if you have any more to add, feel free to comment! 🙂 PS: Season 2 is available for streaming on ABC.com or Hulu; season 1 is not, but there are a bevy of clips online (YouTube) which can help catch you up! 

The Pilot, of course! 1×01, and then the kind-of-sort-of subsequent follow-up 1×02 “Crash Course”

1×04 “The Switch”

1×07 “The Ride Along” & 1×08 “Time of Death”

1×14 “Plain Clothes Day” and 1×15 “Manhunt”

1×19 “The Checklist” and 1×20 “Free Fall” (the season 1 finale)

2×01 “Impact” (picks up right after season 1 leaves off!)

2×03 “The Bet” and 2×04 “Warriors and Guardians” (which is Mekia’s debut!)

2×06 “Fallout” and 2×08 “Clean Cut”

2×10 “The Dark Side” and 2×11 “Day of Death” *you should definitely watch these back-to-back, as 2×10 serves as the midseason finale; 2×11 is the midseason premiere*

2×12 “Now and Then”; 2×16 “The Overnight”; and 2×17 “Control”

That’s all for me for now! 5 (or 6, if you count the dramatic episodes!) reasons to watch The Rookie! You can catch all-new episodes on ABC, Sunday nights at 10/9 c! Be sure you’re following the show on Twitter and/or Instagram so you can see fun behind the scenes content, not to mention live-tweet during tomorrow’s all-new episode! Hope ya’ll liked this post!

Credit: GIPHY/Google

Why You Should Be Watching #TheRookie (if you're not already!) I love this job more than I imagined I could. The day I stop giving it my all is the day I walk away."

#ABC #blogging #cop drama #review #The Rookie #what to watch #chenford #lucy chen #tim bradford #eric winter #melissa o'neil #alyssa diaz #angela lopez #wopez #weslo #wesley evers #shawn ashmore #titus makin #jackson west #john nolan #nathan fillion #ali larter #jasmine richards #rachel hall #these ships will sail #why watch the rookie #the rookie season 1 #the rookie season 2 #my writing #reasons to watch the rookie

[nothingunrealistic]

redandfranticfeelings

not to mention making the one who terrorizes his (written as cishet) sister gay is loaded on its own (never mind the way they try to brush that off in the novel and paint zoe as a liar i know thats a whole other convo but it RLLY irks me sorry)

[x] yeah, that’s definitely another level on which the choice to make connor gay (or ~fluid~, as emmich insisted on saying for reasons unknown and unknowable) but keep all the other canon characters straight was an extremely poor one. 

and the element of “connor insisting in his internal narration that zoe is exaggerating / lying about his horrible treatment of her” is, imo, symptomatic of one of the novel’s biggest problems (and one that the show also suffered from to some extent), which is: it’s often difficult to tell when the POV characters’ perceptions / descriptions of other people and events are intended to be objectively correct and when they’re meant to be inaccurate or skewed, because we’re only sometimes given clear rebuttals of those perceptions / proof that the pov characters are unreliable narrators. 

here are the relevant passages from the novel:

Just because Connor isn’t here, trying to punch through my door, screaming at the top of his lungs that he’s going to kill me for no reason, that doesn’t mean that all of a sudden we’re the fucking Brady Bunch.

Not the most comfortable thing to hear your little sister say. But actually, I think there’s a compliment in there somewhere. Some vindication, at least. Because I’ve often said: maybe it’s not me contaminating the family pond, but the other way around.

She storms off. Not much of a storm, in truth. If it were me, I probably would’ve smashed something. (Then, afterward, I’d feel bad about it. But not bad enough to apologize. Or not do it again.)

[…]

I wander upstairs to Zoe’s room. I find her strumming her unplugged electric guitar. What she said about me is only partly true. I screamed at her a few times. Banged on her door. I never threatened to kill her, though. Does she really believe that? Of course I’d never actually hurt her. It’s like that quote: “full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” That was me.

we never hear about this particular story again from anyone, and no other part of the novel tells us more about connor’s treatment of zoe than what we already know from the show. we can gather from everything that happens on the first day of school that connor has a tendency to misinterpret situations / assume the worst of people, and sometimes to react with physical violence. 

so are we supposed to assume that connor is rewriting the story here to be more favorable to him because it was obvious to him that he would never hurt zoe, no matter what he was yelling at her or what she knew of his history of hurting other people? or are we supposed to take the text at face value and believe that zoe lied about him threatening to kill her, with no reason for the lie that’s ever specified or even implied? (but not, you know, the whole “screaming at me and banging on my door” part, which connor agrees is true.) 

it’s a moment that doesn’t really achieve anything except making the writers come off like they think “this girl’s story about being attacked and threatened by a guy was actually partly made up, we know because the guy said so!” is a totally acceptable plot element to toss in and then just abandon.

the most obvious example of this same problem in the musical is when heidi asks about evan’s meds and evan claims he’s no longer taking them:

HEIDI: You okay on refills? EVAN: I’m not taking them anymore. HEIDI (Surprised): Oh. EVAN: I haven’t needed them. HEIDI: Really? So, no anxiety or…? Even with everything that’s…? EVAN: I’ve been fine.

evan’s (discontinued) use of medication is never mentioned again, except for his fight with heidi just before good for you when he offhandedly mentions “i have to take drugs” as an example of heidi thinking he’s broken. of course, this subplot has raised objections centered on the fact that abruptly going off your medication, especially anti-anxiety / antidepressant medication, is not healthy or a good idea and ought to have consequences in the form of really bad withdrawal symptoms. and it’s one where the writers (primarily steven levenson) actually have explained their intent in including it, most coherently in the annotated libretto from through the window: 

Steven Levenson

We just witnessed Evan come perilously close to a full-blown panic attack minutes earlier, so this claim of his that he has been cured of his anxiety is meant to ring more than a bit false.

so this is an instance where we’re not supposed to believe what a character says to be true, even though we’re not handed factual information or a clear confession to contradict it. but considering how often “you can’t just go off your meds like that and still be fine!” has come up as a criticism, the writers clearly didn’t do a good enough job of showing or explaining that evan isn’t fine here, despite how much he wants and claims to be. 

tl;dr the deh writers need to do a better job at clarifying when we’re supposed to believe what POV characters are saying or thinking and when we’re not

#made this its own post because the original was long and as you said this is kind of a whole other conversation #inbox #redandfranticfeelings #dear evan hansen #and now this post is long as well! sorry for giving a much more in-depth response than you were probably looking for #unfortunately i have hundreds of words to say about dear evan hansen when prompted. this post could easily have been twice as long #steven levenson

[goalcaufield]

Liar - Dylan Strome

Request:  Could you do 51 and 63 with Dylan strome? 😍☺️

Prompt: “You lied to me.” (#51) “You’re pregnant?” (#63)

Summary: You find out you’re pregnant and you aren’t sure how Dylan is going to take the news, so you turn to his best friend Connor. 

Word Count: 955

i am so sorry the past two have been so short, i live in pa aka the keystone state and it’s currently keystone week! (keystones are standardized tests for algebra, bio, and english) but after this week imagines should start getting longer. 

Your arms rested against the cold tile of the bathroom sink. You didn’t know what to do and your heart was racing. You were only twenty and your boyfriend, only twenty-one, was in the prime of his NHL career.

You didn’t know how you were gonna tell Dylan. You didn’t know if you were even going to tell Dylan. You could easily pack up your bags and flee Tucson and go back to your hometown. With the three pregnancy tests clutched in your hand you quickly disposed of them by wrapping them in toilet paper. You couldn’t risk Dylan finding out that way, you wanted to be the one to tell him as much as it pained you.

He would be home from hanging out with the boys any minute now so you had to act natural. You went into the living room of your shared apartment and watched whatever was on the screen. You had zoned out and didn’t notice when Dylan had come in.

“Babe, are you okay?” Dylan asked, waving a hand in front of your face. You jumped slightly but turned to him.

“Yeah, uh yeah I am,” You stuttered. “How are the boys?” You asked and adjusted yourself to become more comfortable while you talked to him.

“They’re good, still annoying as ever,” He said. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked cautiously. He knew you like the back of his hand, and sometimes it was a blessing and the others a curse.

You froze and Dylan gave you a look. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” You finally spoke and looked up at him.

“Because you’re watching Grey’s Anatomy. You hate Grey’s.”

You looked at the television and sure enough Grey’s Anatomy was on the screen. A woman in labor was shown and you cringed at how that would be you in nine months.

“It was the first thing that came on,” You quickly recovered. You hadn’t even realized the show was on, your mind was racing and was everywhere, the last thing on your mind was what was on the TV. “How about you go take a shower? You smell.” You teased.

Dylan acted offended but leaned down and kissed you briefly. “Already planning on it. I’ll be out in a few, alright?”

You nodded and soon enough Dylan disappeared down the hall. Once he was out of your sight you grabbed your phone and texted Dylan’s best friend, Connor, and asked if you could call him. Having growing quite close to McDavid yourself, he instantly replied with an “of course” and soon enough a FaceTime request popped up on your phone.

To lower the risk of Dylan somehow hearing your conversation you headed out onto the balcony. You accepted Connor’s call and his face popped up on your screen.

“Hey Y/N, everything alright? Do I need to come to Arizona and beat Dylan’s ass?” Connor asked and you chuckled as you sat yourself down on one of the patio chairs.

“No, no, Dylan is as amazing as ever. I just need to tell somebody, but I need you to promise me you won’t freak out or tell Dyl,” You spoke. Connor nodded and you ran a hand through your slightly disheveled hair. “I’m pregnant.”

Connor’s eyes lit up and a smile formed on his face. “Oh my gosh, that’s great, Y/N! Congratulations!” He saw the look on your face and instantly his smile dropped. “Why are you not excited?”

“I’m scared, Connor. I’m not ready for this. I’m twenty, I shouldn’t be having a child! I’m not even out of college yet, how can I do this?”

“Listen,” Connor spoke. “No one is ‘ready’ to be a parent. And yes, you can do it. There are strong women that do it every day and women who have gotten pregnant even younger than you and still have successful lives. A lot of them finish their schooling so you definitely can too. Does Dylan know yet?” You shook your head. “You’ve got to tell him. I mean he’s going to find out soon opposed to later.”

You let out a heavy sigh, leaning your head back onto the head rest of the chair. “He’s in the shower right now, I’ll tell him when he gets out.”

“Text me or call me if anything happens, please, Y/N.”

“Of course, goodbye Con!”

You hung up before going back inside the apartment. Despite the Arizona heat you grabbed a blanket and cuddled up on the couch. You changed the channel to a show you actually liked and indulged in the episode that was on.

You were about to doze off to sleep when you heard soft footsteps coming down the hallway. Your eyes fluttered open and you saw Dylan walking towards you.

“You lied to me,” He said, and instantly your heart began to race. You sat up on the couch, the blanket falling off your shoulders and pooling around at your sides.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dyl,” You stuttered, but in reality you didn’t know what you were lying about.

“You aren’t fine,” He said quietly and sat down next to you on the couch. You didn’t have to ask him if he knew, because it was obvious he did know.

Dylan pulled you onto his lap and you wrapped your arms around his neck, your head resting on his shoulder as you tried to calm your nerves.

“I’m scared, Dyl,” You whispered against his neck and his hands on your waist tightened.

“You’re pregnant? Like, seriously?” Dylan asked and you hesitated before you nodded against him. He pulled you closer to him and just held you there for a few moments. “I love you, you know.”

“I love you too.”

#dylan strome #connor mcdavid #nhl #hockey #stanleycup #stanleycupplayoffs #playoffs #hockey imagine #imagine #arizona coyotes #tucson roadrunners

[intertwincd]

i just need someone to break this wall of bricks i’ve built (coliver angst)

part 1/3 of the handle with care trilogy

hello, chelsea here. this is a lil something i wrote in attempts to give myself closure and to help myself reminisce of the times everyone in htgawm wasn’t pulling bullshit stunts (aka season 1) and i hope you enjoy it! huge, enormous thank you to @colormayfade for editing and beta-ing too 

oh also i forgot to mention that the title of this part is borrowed from Yuna’s Places to Go

▪ ▪ ▪

i just need someone to break this wall of bricks i’ve built

It wasn’t as if he was scared, right?

Wrong. Of course he was scared, petrified even. Connor never knew what it was like to be brought back into a memory again and again every night; but that was before he and the other 4 of the k-5 killed Annalise Keating’s husband with their very own hands. He woke up drenched in cold sweat some nights; knuckles always bleach white and clutching at his sheets, trying to find some comfort, some security. This, ladies and gentlemen, was one of those nights.

He took lengthy breaths, in and out, trying to wash out the discomfort, fear and most of all—guilt.

In his head, Connor had long stopped trying to forgive himself for what he had done, because it was wrong in every sick disgusting way. Can you imagine killing your lecturer’s husband, cutting him up into sizable chunks and then pouring gasoline over it before proceeding to burn it? They might as well had tied a pink ribbon around the body and left a thank-you card with it at her doorstep.

As Connor raked his fingers through his wet hair, he laughed bitterly at what a mess he was. Even he couldn’t give himself the consolation he needed.

What he did the other night seemed to have created a black hole in him, a vacuum that sucked at whatever dignity or feelings he once had.

“Connor, I know this is hard on you, but you have to try— ” W es had tried to make him feel better, offering empty words of comfort that echoed around the house of Annalise Keating.

“And then what? Forget? We killed a man, Wes. ” Connor had stormed out of the house, unable to sustain another minute being suffocated by the air in the Keating house. God knew how many times he had to put himself through those memories until they’d stop resurfacing.

He sat in his car, letting his head rest against the steering wheel while the steady hum of the engine calmed him. The night in retrospect started its loop again, a broken VCR, a reminder that he had a debt to pay.

He wanted to be punished for what he had done wrong, he wanted to face the consequences of his crimes; but he just couldn’t find the bravery in him to own up.

Although Connor feels the things he does and claims to already accept that he himself had actually done something so unthinkable, he knows there is some part of him that is still in disbelief, too scared to come out of his forged armor and be true to himself for once.

The drive home was painful. Being alone was always an open invitation to the voices and the flashbacks, the silence a game of fill-in-the-blanks for the screaming and wailing.

He turned his music all the way up, and yet all he could hear was a mixture of his own screaming and the voices in his head going on and on and on. Thank God his subconscious self could still drive him home safely.  

A whole week after, and Connor still hadn’t  made any progress , unless the increasing number of beers he could finish within an hour passed as‘progress’.

He always liked living in the city. He found comfort in the fact that it was never completely asleep, and that he could fall into sweet slumber to the whirring of the city coming alive. Like it was a life form on its own, made up of a million others. Despite how people always call him vain and conceited, it was ironic how afraid he was of the idea of solitude.

Every night he turned on the TV, and weirdly enough,  the static buzzing and monotone voices between the constant flickering of channels provided c onnor all the company he needed.

And,  of course, there would be alcohol. Beer, usually, but occasionally, a fancy bottle of Jack as a congratulatory award for putting up with himself for yet another day.  But surely we all know that wasn’t the only reason Connor had such a knack for drinking.

He was pathetic, lonely, and empty–just like the barren apartment he owned.

Connor would fall asleep with the windows open, television still on,  surrounded by a pity party of beer cans scattered everywhere: the coffee table, the floor and even one still half full in his hand.

The other hand would hold a cell phone more often than not, and if you were lucky, his thumb would still hover over that number even his drunk self couldn’t bring to call. On other nights he would lie in the dead center of his bed, arms hugging his knees together, boxing himself in feeble attempts of covering  up that gaping hole in his chest called Oliver.

Who would’ve known Connor Walsh had feelings after all?

When the dreams came, every single detail—especially the ones he tried hardest to blur out or dilute with the uncanny amounts of beers he consumed—would remain untouched; sometimes even clearer and sharper. It was as if the alcohol he doused himself in was never enough to erase the memories, like the blood on his hands that would always make him feel dirty, inside and out no matter how many times he washed them.

The reason Connor took so much alcohol was to knock himself out to the extent that the hangover he’d wake up to could distract him for everything he feared: the truth.

He hated it when he was sober and awake, because even though he’d be one step further from the voices in his head, he would see his life laid out in front of him (like a PowerPoint presentation of his life—“Look, this is how much of a failure you are!”) and, as the people in the streets partied their lives away, he would feel every second passing, every tick of the clock a reminder that this was his life.

Staring at the ceiling, he learns this really is it. The hope and courage and kindness he had accumulated his whole life seemed to lessen every time he replayed that night in his head. He had his one shot in making his life one to be proud of, loving someone and letting them love him back and he blew it. He fucking blew it.

And then as the sky would turn another shade brighter outside the window of Connor Walsh’s apartment, he’d wonder about Oliver.

He’d piece everything together, every fray memory, every single second shared between them—trying so hard to find that one stray thread; the one thing he did or didn’t do—the single moment where he went wrong, the first symptoms of a splintering relationship.

He would go on for hours, just looking at the peeling cream-colored plaster until his vision doubled over. Sometimes, he’d even take out the old shirt Ollie left at his place ages ago and will himself not to call him, even if it meant just being sent to voicemail—at least he could hear his voice.

That’s when he would realize he no longer had the luxury of calling Ollie. He hurt him, and that was reason enough to cut all ties between them.

Do you ever do it? Sift through all the times you’ve had with someone you once held so closely, replaying them in your head again and again, looking for that one happy memory you can hold onto without all the pain that came with it, and then realize there aren’t any and everything is just one meaningless mess? You are down to your hands and knees, trying to clean up the stain of your mistakes that would just never quite disappear. The more you try to mend yourself, the bigger of a mess you make.

And yet, Connor did it repeatedly despite knowing there was nothing left to savor from that fractured relationship between him and Oliver. It hurt him to reminisce, but there was little he wouldn’t do to just hang on to some reminder of the latter.

In summation, it was beyond-words-woeful. But there was something about that one night that was different, because Connor figured it out.

He had found the missing puzzle piece, the answer to his one aching question; he knew where he went wrong. It was all his fault, all him.

He was scared of hurting others, so he never committed and instead gave away parts of himself to people who called him names and moan that ”God, they loved him,” and yet… it was only sex, nothing more.

The thought of commitment and exclusivity scared him enough to never settle down with anyone, enough for him to disappear before they could get his last name, enough for him to only leave empty white sheets in their wake.

He pushed people away when they got emotionally involved—he pushed Ollie away.

For years he had lived in the mindset that he was trying to protect others from getting hurt by him, but all this damned time the only person he was protecting was himself. The more distance he put between himself and all the people who cared for him (or who cared, in general), the safer he felt.

He was a liar. He lied to his parents when he said he was doing fine, he lied to Ollie when he said his charm wasn’t a weapon he used oh so often, but most of all he had been lying to himself: convincing himself that he was only lessening the casualties by doing what he did. He lied and he lied, telling himself he was over it, telling himself he was an independent, capable young man as he would pull out another beer. One sip for taste, two for company and three to forget everything completely.

So much for capability.

▪

There is only one thing worse than waking up smelling like a bar itself on a Tuesday morning with your apartment looking like an aftermath of World War II—having a witness.

In this case, it was Oliver Hampton; IT wizard, hacker, and the newly discovered love of Connor’s life. While you go on to wonder why on earth he was here, Connor’s attention was snatched by that feeling in his stomach whenever he…

“Fuck, I called you, didn’t I?”

Oliver looked up from his tablet, feet propped onto the coffee table that still had empty cans of beer that reeked of misery, despondency and the night before. He looked nothing short of as tired as Connor, and he definitely had been up till late.

For starters, Ollie was always a light sleeper; but his phone had been ringing off the hook; the caller ID flashing like a warning as he pondered on whether he should pick up or block the number. Naturally and eventually, Oliver picked up (he could never delete c onnor’s number anyway, he memorized it by heart); with his sweaty hands while he paced the floor in his slippers.

“Ollie? I know you really don’t want to talk to me right now, and it’s four in the morning…but I just, I figured it all out. I’m so broken and messed up and so fucking stupid, but I figured it all out. I hurt you a lot, and I lied even when the truth was out in the open.”

Oliver stared at the carpet some more, hearing his heart beat in his ear. “And I just need you to know that I’m sorry, and I miss you, I miss you so much. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Ollie, I really didn’t.”

The line went dead and the man on the receiving end heard his heart shake and shatter just a little.

That is how he ended up in the depressing apartment of Connor Walsh. With a soft heart like his, Oliver couldn’t have kept away for long even if his life depended on it; he just wasn’t the type to walk away and stay away. He’d known both of them would cross paths sooner or later, but he didn’t expect it to be this soon.

When Oliver had let himself into the apartment (Connor never changed his lock, and he had a spare key—“For emergencies,” Connor had said) the whole place emitted the foul smell of alcohol, and his eyes carried out a panoramic sweep of the area, landing on the subject—a man presumably wearing clothes from the day before, a shirt with its sleeves folded and its collar unbuttoned and a cell phone lying next to his ear.

He did what he had to; changed Connor into one of his old tees and carried him to his bed. He found a trash bag and started to clean up, but stopped halfway. He had to stop picking up after Connor and let him learn his own lessons, or nothing was ever going to work for both of them.

Now, Connor lay in his bed, sitting against the headboard in the fresh set of clothes courtesy of Ollie. “I…What did I say to you?” He looked down, studying the creases on the sheets.

Oliver had so much he’d wanted tell him, so much anger and frustration he hadn’t been able to voice all this time. There were days where he felt he could punch Connor square in the face, but then and there he couldn’t seem to summon that anger because his heart ached in longing for this man that was staring at him, bloodshot eyes and unkempt hair.

“Something along the lines of I really miss you…or some really needy drunk talk?” Connor tried to probe some memory of him calling Ollie, but nothing would come. He chuckled nervously, still struggling to hold a steady gaze.

The bespectacled boy sighed. “You really don’t remember? Not even a little?” A crease formed between his eyebrows, suggesting that the phone call meant so much more than just some “really needy drunk talk” as Connor had put it.

Connor bit his lip, equally frustrated.  “I…really don’t remember.”

The other man reached for his briefcase, putting his tablet inside and getting ready to leave. “Well, then I guess it’s about time I get going.”

 He didn’t sound like Oliver at all. There was something cold in his voice that made Connor feel even more helpless than before.

“Wait, no. Don’t go. Stay.”

Oliver took one look at Connor who held onto the fabric of his shirt, trying to find some part of himself that didn’t feel forlorn.

“Fuck, why do you keep doing this to me?”  

“You always do this. You bat your eyes, and everything goes your way; you tell me to stay and I always do.” Oliver wasn’t thinking anymore. Every word he had vested in himself for so long… they were all pouring out.

“You made me watch you tear my heart to shreds, you cheat on me; and when you turn up again I just fall helpless to your charm, always crawling back to you.” Months and months of words gushed out—a broken dam.

“It’s not fair that I have to go through all of this. Sometimes, I just feel so damn vulnerable, you know? When you use that charm of yours and you get anything you want, I can’t help but feel like I’m just one of those ‘things’ to you. I feel so worthless. You do it repeatedly and you keep hurting me. And when I finally find the courage in me to actually leave you, this is what I get?” Sleepless nights, a thousand and one texts begging to be answered, and tears leaked from his shattered heart.

Connor sat cross-legged on his duvet, startled. Oliver was still …Oliver. The first and last person he had ever truly loved, and everything he said made sense: Connor pushed people away when the only thing he had wanted was to get closer.

“Look around you. You have a drinking problem, and you can’t take care of yourself. I told myself I had to stop cleaning up after your mistakes, because you will never learn if all everyone ever did was cover up your dirty work.”  

Oliver held up an empty can. “Can after can, you are drinking your whole life away, and you don’t seem to care about how you are hurting yourself, but can’t you have a little compassion and see how much this hurts the people around you? How much this hurts me?” Raised voice, pounding head.

“You broke me, Con. You broke me and now that I’ve left you, can’t you at least give me some comfort in knowing we are both better off apart? Not to have you call me four in the morning and see you destroying everything you are? Don’t you think I deserve at least that much?”

Connor kept silent, lost in his own turbulence.

“I’m so stupid. I shouldn’t have come looking for some kind of…explanation.” Oliver wiped at his face which was now tear stained. “Look at you.” he laughed bitterly. “You’re not even trying. And those words you said to me, I really thought you figured it out.”

The law student stared at his palms, trying to grasp at any memory of the night before—anything at all.

“You’re right,” Connor started. “I’m a tragedy and I hate it just as much as you do…but I can fix this, I can fix us.”

Oliver scoffed. “God! Get over yourself, Connor. You fucked up, big time and you aren’t going to be able to fix us if you don’t start working on yourself.”

Even in crucial moments like this, Oliver’s heart still ached for what they once shared, but he knew it in his conscience that this was the right thing to do. He handed Connor some freshly laundered clothing and the black garbage bag he found earlier, not making eye contact the entire time.

“Here,” his voice softened, “Clean up this mess. Wash yourself of this self-pity and try to get yourself together.”

At this point, Connor had long surrendered, so he took the towel and went into the shower.

In the small cubicle the water rained down Connor’s lean physique, washing off the feeling of exhaustion, clearing his mind of the haze it had been caught in layer by layer as he lathered his body with soap and rinsed himself clean.

His skin grew red at the heat of the water, and he remembered. He remembered everything—from the beer to calling Ollie—he remembered it all.

Most importantly, he remembered that he did, in fact, figure it out.

He put two and two together and realized that the only reason Oliver would’ve turned up with that light in his eyes only barely lit was because Ollie had chosen to believe him when he said he had an explanation.

With his heart finally revving up again after what seemed like weeks of stagnancy, Connor hastily wrapped his towel around his waist. There was still time. He could still explain himself and convince Ollie he could find a way to mend himself and their relationship—light up that fire in Oliver’s eyes again.

“Ollie?” Connor called out as he stood before his apartment, only to be greeted by the quiet Ollie-less air of the living hall.

What lay before him was a whole new arrangement, a few novels stacked neatly on the coffee table replacing the beer cans that had been there for weeks on end, a laundry bag of clean clothing and the shades opened to let the light in.

Connor looked around for any sign that Ollie might return afterwards only to find a spare key—laid next to a bag of Chinese takeout.

The steam from the food was wafting out in slow spirals—warm, just like the spot on Connor’s temple that tingled; remnants of the kiss Oliver had left when Connor was tucked in bed, his calloused fingers clutching Oliver’s hand.

Connor probably didn’t realize, but that was the first time his nightmares kept quiet through the night.

#htgawm #how to get away with murder #connor walsh #connor #coliver #oliver #oliver hampton #ollie #fic #fics #oneshot #oneshots #angst #htgawm angst #coliver angst #fluff #angst with a hopeful ending #wes gibbins #wes #michaela pratt #michaela #annalise keating #annalise #laurel castillo #frank delfino #frank #laurel #writers #chelsea writes #coliverhwc

[thecoliverlibrary]

Losing you hurts like hell

Gift Type: Fan Fiction Title: Losing you hurts like hell Author: @dreamerxnheaven Recipient: @valeriianz Rating: Teen+ Warnings: None Word Count: 1737 Author’s Note: I really hope this is at least a little bit like you imagined it to be an I hope you’ll lke it :)

“Connor? What are you doing here?”

His sister looked and sounded tired, her arms wrapped around herself in front of her doorstep, looking at him like she wondered if he had completely lost it.

Maybe he had. Connor couldn’t tell – he had been driving for hours on pure adrenaline with the music so loud that a part of him wondered why he hadn’t been stopped by the police. And wouldn’t have that been hilarious? Getting away with murder just to go to jail for driving like a maniac.

“Are you hurt? Did something happen to Oliver?“

The sound of Olivers name snapped him out of his thoughts and he almost laughed hysterically. Of course. Gemma had no idea that they had broken up in the first place. He had thought that he could fix things, that he could win Ollie back.

“He broke up with me.”

Gemmas eyes widened almost comically and again, Connor almost laughed.

“He broke up with me a couple of weeks ago because he needed space and time on his own and I -.”

Of course he wanted to get away from him. He was no good in relationships, he was good for a quick fuck or two, but nobody would bring him home to meet the family. Aiden had even called him by nothing but his last name the first time they had met after Aiden had dumped him. And the guy before him – well he had made it certainly clear that being with Connor was more work than he was worth. Damaged, slutty Connor Walsh.

He felt Gemma’s arms around him (when had his sister even moved?)and something in him broke. A sob escaped his lips and he buried his head on her shoulder, shaking violently. He shouldn’t even be here, he should be at their flat, with Oliver, in his arms, watching some dumb movie, eating takeout or simply make out with him. He shouldn’t be at his sisters doorstep crying his eyes out over a broken heart.

“I love him, Gemma.”, he whispered hoarsely between sobs, “I love him and he just left me like – like I never meant anything to him in the first place, like-”

Deep down Connor knew that he was being unfair, that Oliver did what he thought was the best for him and that he tried to deal with the break up in his own way, but a much bigger part of him didn’t want to be fair or objective. He wanted to cry and shout and curl up under a blanket, just for a while, to forget that somewhere out there the love of his life was probably not even thinking about him.

“Oh darling.”, Gemma mumbled and he felt her press a soft kiss against his temple. “Come on, let’s get you inside first.”

He let himself be pulled inside, still shaking and tears running down his cheeks. Connor knew that he probably looked like a mess right now but for once he couldn’t bring himself to care. For years he had convinced himself that he wasn’t one for relationships, that they just weren’t worth the trouble. And then Oliver came along with his smile and his cute glasses and his warmth and before he knew it Connor catched himself lowering his guard, letting him in, showing him the true Connor Walsh. The one who got insecure, who sang in the shower and who made breakfast and even the fucking crossword.

Maybe he had expected too much. Maybe he had relied too much on Oliver -

Oliver. Even his name made everything inside of him ache, made him want to jump right back into his car, right back home, to him, to ask him, beg him, for another chance, just one Ollie, please, just one, I need you, please.

He didn’t notice that Gemma lead him towards the guestroom, until she gently urged him to sit down on the bed.

It was like a part of him hadn’t caught on to the fact that Oliver had dumped him. Or at least he had thought that they could fix things between them, that soon enough he would be back in Olivers arms and their apartment before he knew it.

But today, in the clinic, something had snapped inside of him. Oliver seemed -

He seemed happy and while Connor wanted nothing more than his happiness it still felt like a punch in the face that, apparently, everything Oliver needed to be happy was to be away from him.

Oliver didn’t want him anymore.

——————————————————————————————————

A whole week passed like that. For the next day Connor had called in sick, but the day after Gemma had driven him to the clinic herself with the very real threat of kicking his ass if he would sabotage his future (What Future? Connor wanted to ask, You wouldn’t talk about my future if you knew what I did.) over a guy.

And now he saw Oliver every day, knowing that Oliver was moving on (he had to, he didn’t look even half as shitty as Connor was feeling and he didn’t knew if he wanted to punch him or fuck him because good god those suits were hot and Connor still couldn’t look at Annalises desk without getting flustered) while he was aching to feel his warm skin under his fingers, to run his hand through his soft hair or just to hear him talk about his day or the new Star Wars movie.

Connor had tried. After two days being miserable he had gone out, chatted up a guy and ended up fucking him in an ally behind a bar. And yet, after the guy (Edmund? Edwin?) was gone Connor didn’t feel better. What made it worse, he hadn’t stopped thinking about Oliver, not even once. There was a horrible, aching hole in his chest and fucking random strangers behind bars wasn’t going to fix it.

Apparently he was way more drunk than he had thought.

Connor blinked slowly, looking at the guy next to him who was leading him out of the bar. “Y'know.”, he mumbled, “You really look like my Ex.”

The guy snorted in response, something Connors drunk mind just couldn’t understand. “Oh, that’s a good thing.”, he explained and the guy suddenly walked slower. “I mean it’s dark as fuck, but – like – you look a lot like him and – and that’s he good thing because he’s beautiful.” He leaned more into the stranger, “He’s beautiful and smart and perfect and I ruined everything” A tiny part of him knew he was rambling but at the end of the day – who cared, really? “I – I cheated on him and he forgave me and I don’t know how but I went and fucked things up again and now he doesn’t love me anymore.”

The guy was silent for a couple of minutes but Connor didn’t even notice.

“It’s my fault.”, he finally mumbled, “I lied to him. I wanted to protect him but he knew I was hiding something and he couldn’t love a liar. But now he’s gone and – and that doesn’t even mean he’s safe because now he’s working for her, and it’s all her fault because she made us do this in the first place, if it wasn’t for her – if it wasn’t for her I would still have him and -”

“We’re at your apartment.”, the guy interrupted him.

“Do you have a cold?”, Connor mumbled, “You sound weird.”

The guy sniffed. “I – go to sleep, Connor.”

Connor jut nodded and let himself into the building.

It wasn’t until he laid in bed that he wondered when he had told the stranger Michaela’s address.

Or his name.

Outside Oliver leaned against the door and closed his eye, tears streaming down his cheeks. Connors words were echoing inside of his head.

When he had seen Connor leaning against a table all by himself and completely trashed he hadn’t even hesitated to lead him outside to bring him to Michaela’s, which was just around the corner. Connors weight had been warm and solid against his side and Oliver had missed him, but he also didn’t need long to realize that Connor was so drunk he didn’t even realize it was him he was talking to.

And now he doesn’t love me anymore.

As if he could ever stop loving Connor, even for a heartbeat. As if he could ever stop missing him.

He had tried, god had he tried. And Thomas had been nice, but at the end of the day he wasn’t Connor and every single reminder of that, every time he had done or said something that Connor never would his heart had ached a little bit more for the man he no longer had in his life, So he had called things off with him this evening before he went out to get drunk and to forget about the disaster that was his love life.

Instead he had bumped into his Ex (and didn’t the reminder of that fact hurt) and now his words were replaying in his head over and over again.

Like Connor mentioning lying and secrets. A part of Oliver couldn’t help but wonder if Connor would actually answer him if he went over tomorrow and asked him. After all Connor had said he would do whatever he wanted if that meant Oliver would give them another chance. Did that include the truth about whatever it was Annalise made him and the rest of he Keating five do?

With a last glance towards the building he knew Connor was in right now, he turned around and slowly made his way towards his own flat, replaying every single word Connor has said in his head, wanting nothing more than to turn around, knock at Michaela’s door and tell him to come home.

But even now, with hiss heart aching for Connor, he knew that that would be a bad idea. He knew he couldn’t be with him, no matter how much he wanted to, until the younger man started to finally be open and honest with him.

The next morning Connor woke up with a hangover and a text message that made his heart ache in the best and worst way possible.

[Oliver 01:30 am] I don’t know how much you remember of last night but we need to talk. Please come over when you read this.

#coliversecretsanta #HTGAWM #connor walsh #oliver hampton #coliver #one shot #T #5k #break up #fic #css gift #submission

[miraclesnail]

Stolen Hoodies and Chicken Notes

Summary: Most people wake up to their significant other giving them a sweet, morning kiss. Maybe a cuddle that’ll devolve into a tickling fest. Maybe a healthy breakfast and a cup of coffee. Will wakes up to his hoodie stolen.

Relationship: Travis/Will 

Rating: G

Warnings: Brief mention of trauma/nightmares

Length: 2k

ao3 link *** ffn link

fic under the read more

At the first light, when the dark skies give way to navy blue and one can just barely see the wisp of sunlight, that’s when all Apollo's children wake up. A gift from their father, he guesses considering his role as an Olympian is to pull the sun. 

Start the day early, get the most out of life. 

Some hate it, waking up so early, a full hour before they really need to get ready for the day. Will can hear some of his siblings groan and shift in their bed, most falling back asleep. 

He used to hate it too. Hate waking so early and having to just lay there until it’s really time to get up. 

Now he cherishes this little gift their father blessed them with. 

Most people wake up to their significant other giving them a sweet, morning kiss. Maybe a cuddle that’ll devolve into a tickling fest. Maybe a healthy breakfast and a cup of coffee. 

Will usually wakes up to his hoodie stolen and a chocolate chicken sitting on top of a piece of paper.

Travis is weird that way. 

And today is no different. 

Will wakes up from his internal clock and takes a second to gather himself. Then he rises to his elbows, looks to his night table, and sees the faint outline of the chicken from the nightlight. It’s hard not to smile as he gingerly takes the chicken into his hands and grapples around in the dark for the note that always accompanies it. He finds it and from that cursory touch, it feels like a standard flashcard.

Will flips around and silently wiggles his way to his drawer at the foot of his bunk bed. A quick check inside confirms one out of the two hoodies he owns is missing. 

He never knows when Travis does this. He tried staying up all night to catch him in the act. But a little blink and maybe a five-minute doze, and poof, the items were on the table and his hoodie gone without a trace. Locking the door. Locking the window. Setting a tripwire or a net or flour all proved to be ineffective. 

Will sinks back onto his bed, reaches for the flashlight he hides in the space between the mattress and the frame of the bunk bed. Then he ducks under his blankets. 

He switches the light on, stifling a laugh as he gets a view of the chocolate. The expression on the chicken is definitely getting more detailed. Before it was just a single dot for the eye, no beak, and just the general shape of a baby chick. Now, the chicken is much more complicated. He can see the details of the feather. Can count the number of tails feathers. Can see the claws of the chicken. 

It’s so stupid. Adorably stupid. 

Will shines the light on the notecard. 

There’s three lines of text, the top two in Japanese. He knows for sure the top line says, ‘Good Morning, Beautiful. You know who it is :D’. The middle line he isn’t too sure. And the third line, like always, is the romanization translation, ‘enpitsu’. 

Will reaches under blindly and pulls out all the dictionaries he has under the night table. A little quick check and he has his translation. 

“He’s so extra,” a voice whispers.

Will turns his flashlight off and lifts the blanket. On the bed next to him, Kayla is grinning fondly, laying stomach down and her cheek against her pillow.

“I think it’s cute,” Will whispers back as he stands and looks around for a pencil. He finds it on the window sill his night table is against. With practiced ease, Will opens his drawer, removes his only other hoodie, a blanket, and sneaks out of his cabin. 

***

Will doesn’t know why it started. He never told Travis about his father’s gift. Or maybe he picked it up during the week or so gap Apollo usually has before claiming his kids. Travis is certainly observant for that despite the general consensus the camp seems to have about Travis and Connor sharing one brain cell. Either way, Travis knows and Travis somehow uses it to make a game. 

The first time it happened, Will didn’t even catch it until Kayla pointed it out for him late in the morning as he searched for his hoodie. 

“Hey, Will, what’s this?”

A blob of chocolate sits at his night table with a flashcard. 

“Guess who! :)” Will translates from the Greek text. On the back, it also says in Greek, “I took your hoodie.”

And from there it evolved. 

The chocolate blob becomes more refined, more chicken-like. 

The notecards change language every day. Greek one day. Latin the next. Spanish. French. Chinese. Korean. Arabic. 

Will acquires his needed dictionaries from Annabeth and a low-power flashlight from Leo. 

It became a fun little game to wake up and translate the text while nibbling on the chicken. 

“Good morning”

“I finally learned how to bake!”

“I named the chicken Pip.”

“I’m also learning how to make coffee latte art.”

“Guess how many languages I know.”

“Do you mind me stealing your hoodies?”

Simple. Harmless. Little things he can do while he waits for the time to really start the day. (Much, much better than just lying in bed and thinking about the war, about Lee and Michael, about the friends he lost, about the friends who left, about the people he couldn’t save, the people he had to kill, the people he—)

It’s nice. 

To focus on something else. 

Then it stops becoming simple and harmless. (“It’s still pretty harmless,” Travis would probably argue.)

“Come to Zeus’s Fist?”

Leave the cabin?  Before curfew is over? That’s breaking the rules. He can't. 

It takes a whole fifteen, agonizing minutes before Will finally stands up and puts on his sneakers. 

He gets to Zeus’s Fist after another 15 minutes. Before he could climb the pile of rocks though two voices, similar in tone and pitch, say, “Oh my god, he actually did it.”

“What? Who? Will?”

Will glances up to find Travis and Connor, hopping down Zeus’s Fist. One smiling. The other frowning. One wearing his hoodie. And the other wearing not his hoodie. 

Will hates to admit it, but he still can’t tell them apart even though he’s dating Travis. 

“You actually did it,” the one wearing his hoodie says with a bright smile. He turns to his brother and holds out a palm. “Where’re my five bucks, Connor?”

Connor grumbles and stuffs a crumpled bill in Travis’s waiting palm. “You couldn’t be a good boy for once in your life like you always are, huh?” Connor says. “Had to sneak out of your cabin like Travis asked.”

“If it makes you feel better, I got caught by a harpy,” Will offers with an apologetic shrug. 

“How did you get her to let you go?” 

“When you have a good reputation, you can get away with anything.”

It takes all about two seconds for Connor to figure it out. “Oh my gods, you lied to her!”

Will flushes as Travis wraps a shoulder over his arm and laughs. “Aww, we’re such bad influences on you. Next thing you know you’re going to be the third person in our pranking schemes. Come on, since you’re here, want to watch the sunrise with us?”

And it evolves more from there. 

More complicated messages. More dictionaries. More detailed chocolate chickens. More sneaking out. More losing his good reputation with the harpies. Then having lessons on sneaking out. Having lots of lessons on sneaking out. Becoming extremely good at sneaking out. 

No more encountering the harpies. No more endangering his good boy status though that may be questionable now with the way he keeps breaking the rules. 

But like Travis always says.

Everything goes as long as one doesn't get caught. 

***

Translate the note. Get the item. Make it to Zeus’s Fist. 

That’s the game. 

“You know my dad’s animal is the raven? Not the chicken?” Will says as he trudges up to Zeus’s Fist. 

Travis’s head pops over the rocks and even down below, Will can see the smirk and his stolen hoodie on Travis’s lean body. 

“No entry until you brought the secret item,” says Travis in a dramatic, booming voice. 

Will waves the pencil. 

“Alright, you can come up.”

It takes a few minutes for him to climb Zeus’s fist. Travis is standing at the top with a hand to help pull him up. 

Will says it again, “My dad’s animal is the raven, not the chicken.”

“What?!” Travis gawks at him. “They’re not? Really? Really? So all this time, I've been making the wrong animal?”

And it’s so stupidly cute, but Will maintains his composure. “It’s fine though. I mean, it’s cute.” 

Will looks around, noticing the lack of a third person. 

“Where’s Connor?”

“Sleeping peacefully for once. No nightmares tonight I guess.” 

“Nightmares?”

“From the second titan war, you know?”

Will’s throat dries. “Ah. Right.”

He coughs into his fist. “Do you, uh, get them too?”

Travis fidgets with the hoodie, chuckling. Will comes to learn something about Travis. He’s not the open type of a person despite him being such a talker and as good as a liar he is, he has certain tells that give him away. 

“Sometimes,” Travis chuckles, looking down and scraping the heel of his shoes against the rock. Translation: every day. “ But it’s nothing too bad you know.” Grinning after flexing his hand. Translation: it’s pretty bad . “I keep myself busy though. It’s easy to not think about it when you’re busy.”

Hence this. Hence the nightly escapades. Hence the little games. Distractions. They’re all distractions and distractions work great. 

“Well, I brought the blanket.” And Will holds it up. “Wanna watch the sunrise?”

“You know it. Oh! Let’s have a competition. Whoever can name the most constellations.”

“Sure.”

Will lays down the blanket and sits, leaning back on his arms. Travis sits down beside him, dropping gracefully and resting his head on Will’s shoulder. 

“But before that, why don’t you try speaking to me in Japanese?” Travis says with a cheeky grin, “You got the basics down already, right? I can supplement what you don’t know.”  

“It’s going to sound pretty awful. My pronunciation will probably be all wack,” Will snorts.  

“And I told you that it is fine, buddy,” Travis says, nudging him with his shoulders. “Let me hear it. I can help you with the pronunciation. Plus~” Will doesn’t have to look over to know Travis is wiggling his eyebrows, “I know some pretty nice, interesting facts about Japan culture too. Like, did you know on Christmas Eve, couples go out for fried chickens and exchange presents?”

“And you want me to buy you fried chicken.”

Travis grins charmingly. “I mean, we would share, but yes! I do want you to buy me some chickens.” 

Will takes a breath, digs deep in his memories, then says in Japanese, “‘ I want to go to Japan one day.’”

Travis is silent for a moment, eyebrows furrowing, mouth moving like he’s saying the phrase himself, before beaming. “Nice! Pretty accurate. Pronunciation is pretty good. But change the particle ‘de’ to ‘ni’.” 

“So what about ‘ I ate cake yesterday’? ”

Travis hums. “Not as accurate this time. Move yesterday to the front of the sentence. But still pretty good pronunciation.”

“Then what about my name? How do you spell that in Japanese?” 

“Let me see your palm?”

Travis takes his hands and writes the katakana on his palm with a pen. “Here you go. One more sentence. Use the word pencil in it.”

And that’s how it goes.

Will sneaks out, breaks a couple of rules, attends a language class 101, and watches the sun rise. 

And for one hour, he forgets it all and lives like nothing is wrong.

#pjo #will solace #travis stoll #fanfiction #ao3 #archive of our own #non-canon relationship #romance #and now it's back to watching spn #Willvis