#okay here come the thoughts

[priscirat]

i don't want to go home

#bang dream #bandori #imai lisa #mmmh its summer its time to rotate last year's lisa summer event mental breakdown #okay here come the thoughts #the beach has been already mentionned in bs1 as somewhere lisa would go often after quitting music #and i often think its bc since she leaves literally next to yukina it was to avoid her #which makes that even in middle school she would go to the beach and not want to go home as a way to escape #then theres the summer event #where they mentionned that when she was a child when she went to the beach she didnt went to go home at the end of the day #which directly connects to her in her last summer as a high schooler where she is scared of the future #and where she basically is taken by her fears as a child (her younger self tugging on her skirt) #also its a night scene bc i often think about how yukina compared her to the sun AND the moon #and the moon to me represents that melancholic side that lisa is so extremely prone to #theres probably more i forgot to type. but u see im already deep in the trenches

[catskullery]

#posted on my uhhhh side art account on twitter and thought i should make it clear here too #since they've been coming out of the woodwork lately #carry on #the terfs are really in their feelings about this one <3 #really down in their hurt little ugly feefees <3 #my they pronoun scares them soooo bad too #awww it's okay little dumb dumb the pronoun can't hurt you here have a binkie

[gethalloweened]

Take a moment, remind yourself

To take a moment and find yourself

Take a moment to ask yourself

If this is how we fall apart?

#but it's not but it's not but it's not but it's not but it's not #it's okay it's okay it's okay it's okay it's okay #you've got nothing got nothing got nothing got nothing to fear #I'm here I'm here I'm here #and also queer #and also full of existential fear #steven universe #steven univers fanart #steven universe art #garnet #garnet steven universe #steven universe garnet #garnet fanart #garnet art #here comes a thought #steven universe fandom

[delta-piscium]

the real reason Steve brings a date to a high school basketball game for a high school he doesn’t even go to anymore is because the one time Nancy went with him the team won and his sports superstitions kicked in and he can’t just risk Lucas losing because of him not having a date, so he will take on the burden and ridicule of being the guy who graduated and drags new dates to games all in the name of not upsetting the delicate intricacies of rituals in sports

#i am so obsessed with him bringing a date to that game like i think about it constantly #because like wasn’t it a first date? or at least one of the firsts? absolutely insane behavior to me #okay i can see it being normal if it’s just ‘we’re both going wanna go together?’ buT that’s less fun to me #also weird sports superstitions steve is so real and true to me #god i love sports people with their little rituals i’m obsessed #coming out of the woodworks with this absolute mess of a post like i’m sorry this is all i have #it is 6am and i have not slept so i apologize for if my wording is messy here #stranger things #steve harrington #dels stranger things thoughts

[nookisms]

Oops. It's a second headcanon compilation!

Don't worry, the next one will be back to our normal schedule of regular text posts and not headcanons

Masterpost

#Dark Meta Knight #Shadow Kirby #Meta Knight #Kirby #King Dedede #Daroach #marx kirby #Magolor #Bandana Waddle Dee #Bandana Dee #Marx #Kirby series #kirby headcanons #text post meme #disability headcanon #okay I wanted a particularly exhausted Dedede so I snagged him from triple deluxe #i just think Dedede would have chronic pain from. you know. getting torn in half that one time #before you come after me for Magolor's panel: I do not think ocd and intrusive thoughts make you do bad things #I just think he already had it and the Master Crown made it worse (via lingering magic from the possession) #i dunno how mental illnesses work in aliens that use magitech #I had a lot more here but I decided I'm not going to continue rambling in the tags #I can expand on any of these headcanons at any moment if you want feel free to ask #also I saved that Kirby one for last because I thought it would hit with oomph #she speks #she speks originale #she edits #yes I'm working on the masquerade I am just obsessed with making text post memes

[sergle]

There's something about like. A certain genre of posts / Online Opinions about insecurity/depression/misery/complaints that are so unhelpful that they wrap right around to being straight up hilarious. and it's the ones that are more or less written to the tone of "Feeling bad? That's gross!" Like, just so you know, don't voice your insecurities/ have low self esteem, because that's offputting! You're gross and weird. Don't be insecure about that, though. That would be stupid if you felt insecure about people disliking you for being insecure. Not attractive. You should be thinking about being as attractive as possible. You shouldn't make comments about suicide, even if you're suicidal! Keep those thoughts entirely to yourself. Make sure nobody around you knows you're thinking about this. It would Make Them Uncomfortable. It's better to keep these thoughts in your head where they can fester. Don't post OR talk to friends with complaints about you feeling miserable or depressed. Tbh people who are sad/upset a lot? Kinda a red flag! You are probably miserable because you're a bad person and you've brought this on yourself. If you don't have friends, it's because you're awful to be around. Easy! Solved the problem for you. And no, there is no nuance to this, got it? So, make sure to feel bad about feeling bad, but don't feel bad about it, because, well, that's just gross. And annoying! You might've wanted your brain rotted thoughts to be Peer Reviewed, you might have just needed to vent- you might've been hoping for some comfort, to get things off your chest. Well, don't! Don't talk about thoughts or feelings that are negative with your friends, you'd be burdening them and that's only meant for THERAPY. #SponsoredbyBetterHelp #MentalHealth like, DAMN. that's so helpful. you're so good at helping. I um really liked the part where these are all hard and fast rules that encourage keeping feelings bottled up and keeping your friends at arm's length. That's really funny of you.

#I FEEL LIKE COMPLAINING RN in the context of this alternate universe these posts live in. that makes me evil rn. I may not even keep #the post up. but I Needed to complain about these bc I hate seeing them #really funny and good because it very much feeds into that part of the brain where you go wait am I stupid? am I horrible? am I annoying? #before you express any kind of personal feelings. from feeling insecure alll the way down the spectrum to feeling like your life is over #before anyone How Dare You Say We Piss On The Poor-s at me YES there is a nuanced version of this #which is. you can make someone feel like shit (A Fellow Sufferer Of The Mental Eelnesses) by using them as your dumping ground #in excess and usually with no regard for how they feel and without Regular conversations inbetween #and in a one-sided way where they can't do the same and complain with you as a sounding board in return #don't tell new friends you hardly know abt THE MOST personal shit you can possibly think of. there are steps being skipped here #right? we know this. we all know it. setting a boundary is a thing. overwhelming a person is a thing #on the other hand there is such a thing as a friend who IS okay to listen and wants to help. and friends who relate. #maybe talking abt personal stuff makes ppl feel closer sometimes. just a thought! maybe not everything is Emotional Labor. maybe just maybe #but like come on. these are almost intentionally unhelpful posts #long post

[tazmiilly]

once again thinking about how harrowing it must feel to have had your family read your hand written journal filled with your deepest regrets and fears written during what was probably the lowest part of your life. and they've read every single corner of it. cover to cover. multiple times.

seriously that must make you feel so exposed. especially when you've been backstabbed enough times that trusting people is an issue

#hes comes out of the portal. has that realization. and is probably like Okay. I am simply Not Here #seriously I would die #thoughts

[crybaby-bkg]

cw: this got long sorry 😔 but creepy/perv bakugou, recording, film major bkg x art major reader, masturbation, coercion, dubcon before it just becomes con, voyeurism/exhibitionism

as an art major, you typically did some works for a few students on campus; for their plays, as background pieces while they danced, a cover for their released songs. it wasn’t out of the ordinary for people to ask you to create something for them, and you enjoyed it more often than not. but, you weren’t usually the art itself.

Bakugou is a friend’s friend that you’ve seen a few times, ran into at the library or at coffee shops. he’s a film major, and always looks so unhappy about the whole thing, as if he didn’t choose it himself. you joke to Mina that you think he’ll graduate and become one of those directors that hate everything and yell at the actors constantly and later on get sued for being a dickhead. you never say it to him though—you’ve never spoken more than a couple words to the man.

it’s why it shocks you when he approaches you one day. it’s after one of your painting classes, and he stands outside the door with a frown and his hands shoved in his pockets, his eyebrows scrunched as if pissed at the mere sight of you. he asks you, in that low and gruff tone of his, if you could star in his final project for the semester. says it’s supposed to be a film made with this criteria and that, but, you’ve kind of checked out on the conversation after the first sentence.

“You mean, you want me to create something and that be the star of your film?” you ask him, feeling so intimidated at his stature. he always seems to loom, his hair shadowing the lights above, creates a cast over a portion of his face, makes his eyes look…unsettling. like they’re looking straight through your flesh, can find the marrow in your bones. he scoffs like you’ve offended him, rolling his eyes into his skull, mouth pulled tight.

“No.” his voice is firm, gaze concentrated only on you, like the halls are empty and you’re the focus of his lens. “I want you to star in it.”

his words confuse you—you’ve never presented yourself as an actor before, never alluded to wanting to be in the spotlight if not for what you create with your hands. but he shuffles on his feet, looks desperate even. there’s some hemming and hawing for a minute or so—why not choose Mina?—she’s busy—why choose me?—‘cause you’d be perfect for my short film—what’s it about?—you’ll find out once you get the script.

and even after you hesitantly agree and get the script—you still don’t understand what you’re doing. why you’re here, why you’re the only person, why it has to be a solo film, why there’s damn near zero lines in the entirety of the have-to-be forty five minute film.

the scenes are all so long, and maybe it’s because movies aren’t your forte or chosen major, but you just don’t get it. one scene; you’re staring at yourself in the mirror while Bakugou holds a small, black camera over your shoulder. he’s eerily quiet behind you, whispers out a faint fuckin’ go when you have to wash your face in the sink, makes you do it over because your movements are too jerky and unnatural.

the rest of the scenes go that way; you doing regular at home activities, being put under a lens, quietly barked at to do this and move that way and fix your hair and remember to frown.

“Isn’t there another way to film this?” you ask him on the fifth day of shooting in his spacious loft. there’s a bubble bath scene coming up, one you dont understand the importance of, but Bakugou tells you it’s the most necessary part of the entire thing.

“No,” he grunts out, looking at you from under his lashes as he sits on the lid of the toilet. “But I’ll make it soapy, so the camera won’t see much.” the camera? much? you weren’t worried so much about what the camera captured as you were the man behind it. he looks at you with such intensity, you feel naked already despite the robe you wear that’s suspiciously already your size.

he leaves the bathroom when you sink in the hot water, returns before you can say it’s okay, hears the water splashing and thinks that’s good enough. he kneels on the floor beside you, camera pointed directly in your face, makes your chest hot and your skin feel prickly. the scene passes on regularly enough; you run the water over your arms, tilt your head back as you sigh, whisper the few lines scripted, lean back and close your eyes, sigh again. it’s almost relaxing, makes you forget about the friend of a friend recording you naked right now. almost.

“Touch yourself.” Bakugou suddenly demands, hushed and quiet behind the camera. your eyes immediately shoot open, looking to him in question, how he’s eerily still in his spot hovering over you.

“Huh?” you ask, unsure if you heard him correctly, looking around the rounded lens in your face, trying to ignore the red blinking light. but Bakugou only frowns.

“It’s a masturbation scene. Touch yourself.” he repeats, voice louder, more demanding this time. your stomach twists at the thought of doing something so intimate in front of him. he’s a handsome guy, for sure, even made you consider asking him out after this, figured he was just serious about his work and awkward about certain things. but…something had been off about this entire thing since the start.

“But—but I don’t, I’m not,” you stutter, sitting up a little, the bubbles covering your chest starting to disperse with your movements. but Bakugou only sits a little higher on his knees, finally pulling the camera away from his face for the first time since he’s asked you to do this for him.

“You want me to fail?” he asks, booming voice eerily quiet in the silent bathroom, carmine eyes dull, shaded over with something terrible. “Then do it.” he tells you when you shake your head quickly.

you stare at him until he gets back into position again, camera back pointed at you. when he doesn’t say anything else, you swallow thickly, wondering if the art that will come out of this will be worth it. so you listen, sneak a hand under the water, start touching yourself in a way you never have in front of anyone.

is it bad to say that it’s exhilarating? being watched and recorded by someone who breathes so heavily every time your voice hiccups? being directed to touch your chest next when the suds start to disappear and your nipples start to peek through? is it bad that you want him to send you this portion of his film, only, just so you can watch yourself again and again? make a portrait of yourself with your fingers on your nipples and your knees raising from the water and your head thrown back from the intensity in oil pastels?

“That’s a wrap.” Bakugou announces when you finish, head spinning and still panting. you look over to him, how he closes the camera, the obvious bulge in his pants. “I’ll get you a towel.”

you wonder when’s the next time he’ll need you. or better yet—maybe he could be the star in your final drawing project? you had finished it already but, what was the harm in starting over with him as your muse? as naked as you are? camera not blocking his face so you can paint the similarities of his blushing cheeks and eyes when you direct him to look at you? to touch his chest? to play with himself just like that?

#this got. so long. sowwy #but I thought about this ummmm Sunday night #but I was DRAINED from writing 7k words of scorned past midnight and then having to edit it skdjfkf #so I was like. okay. put this idea in the drafts. NOW ms dory memory #anddddd I love this so very much #would’ve loved to turn this into a full fic #but it’s so exhausting trying to write long fics recently bc of this multichap #I’m just not used to it and I can’t do two things at the same time #and I already have like 9 fics on my list to write!!!! lol #but there is something so alluring about film major bkg 2 me #I think hes awkward and comes off as mean but he really is just that serious about his work #but he’s #also a creep for you LOL #definitely think he agrees to become ur muse for art as like a trade off #and you get that boy into SO many humiliating positions 😵‍💫 #I need. to lie down. anyway. #I wrote this at 1am and was scared to post it then cause I didn’t think anyone would see it #so here it is in the morning :) #bakugou treats! 🍬 #—new treat in the streets! 🍫

[shadow-the-crow]

I think i finally understand how the Distortion works. I mean, i don’t think it’s possible to ever fully understand it, and i don’t know the whole picture yet because i don’t know what Helen will be like, but i feel like i’ve just been granted a glimpse at the lovecraftian (as in ineffable) thing that is this being.

It’s not a person and a creature fighting inside one mind. There’s no Michael clawing himself to the surface to express his emotions and get his revenge.

Michael Shelley is dead. The Distortion became Michael. It sounds so simple, yet a least in my opinion it’s hard to fully understand.

I think what provides the best metaphor is a small thing the Distortion says after becoming Helen: "without a proper mind." The Distortion does not have its own mind. It’s only a what, but in order to really exist in this reality, it needs a who. It needs a body, but also a mind.

So if i understand this right, it’s like this: Michael Shelley is dead. His conciousness is not there anymore. And the Distortion got forced into that mind, an empty mind of a dead person. This doesn’t make it human, it’s still able to understand the impossible, it’s still the thing that was created to scare and kill. But in the mind it’s living in… the previous owner’s furniture is still there. It gets the dead person’s memories. It becomes Michael, in the sense that it has to be someone. Its existence got tied to being Michael, although Michael Shelley is dead.

When Michael got "emotional", that wasn’t Michael Shelley coming through. It was the Distortion grappling with the side effects of being someone - of living in a mind with all the memories and the human emotions that a human mind can’t fully turn off, even when the thing inhabiting it isn’t human at all.

The Distortion was Michael in the sense that it was thinking with Michael Shelley’s mind. When it became Helen, its consciousness, its being stayed the same, but it needed to adapt to this new mind. It could see clearer now, realizing that the windows of the previous house had been dirty, realizing that the wirings of the previous mind had driven it to do something that it actually didn’t want to do. The throat of the Spiral itself getting caught in the spiralling of its own, borrowed mind.

#here comes the first michael essay #this is only the start #i've still got so many more thoughts #i hope this makes sense #idk why but i think i get how the distortion feels #being forced to be someone who isn't you at all #like - it doesn't make sense but i get it?? #okay i haven't watched doctor who but maybe it's kinda like being the doctor? #you kinda change personality and become someone else but your true being stays the same? #(as if anyone of us knew what it's like being the doctor any more than we know what it's like being the distortion lol) #tma #michael distortion #tma the distortion #helen distortion #the magnus archives #tma podcast #tma spoilers #tma thoughts #mag 101 #another twist #michael shelley #i just realized i've probably spelled michael wrong in the tags before oops (i know how it's spelled but “micheal” keeps popping up so...) #you know what i'm gonna put the wrong version too for reach #micheal distortion

[lgbtlunaverse]

I'm a little bit insane about how in novel canon the whole xiyao ending where Jin Guangyao wants to die with Xichen, who accepts, which then makes jgy change his mind and pushes him away at the last second isn't actually explicit. A lot of adaptations chose to make it so but in the novel this is all VERY up for interpretation.

Here's what actually happens in the text: Lan xichen stabs jgy, jgy moves away from lan xichen, xichen follows him, wwx realizes jgy is about to open the coffin and calls "watch out!" to lan xichen. Jgy unseals nmj, pushes xichen away, nmj kills jgy and they are both dragged into the coffin which is sealed again.

Here's what wei wuxian, our narrator, thinks is happening: Jin Guangyao wanted to lead lan xichen to his death out of revenge for stabbing him. Lan Xichen, unaware, simply followed Jin Guangyao to try and stop him from getting away. Wei wuxian's warning came too late, but Jin Guangyao- for an unknown reason- changed his mind at the last second and pushed lan xichen out of danger before lan xichen had any idea of what was going on.

Here's what most fans as well as the teams behind several adpatations think is happening: Jin Guangyao leads Xichen to nmj's coffin to die with him, Xichen accepts, because of this acceptance, proof xichen still cares for him, Jin Guangyao pushes him out of harm's way. Wei Wuxian just doesn't get that gay people who aren't him or Lan Wangji exist.

Here's what ALSO MIGHT BE HAPPENING: Jin guangyao wants to die in a different way than he is currently dying. Maybe he's afraid of what'll happen to his body after his death like he was scared for his mother's, maybe he wants to confront nmj one last time now that there's nothing more for him to lose, maybe - if he can't take her body with him- he'd at least like his final resting place to be where he buried his mother. Lan Xichen thinks he's trying to get away and follows but Jin Guangyao, who despite everything doesn't want him to die, pushes him away. Xichen doesn't know what happened until it's already happened. What he would've wanted if he had known remains up in the air.

Or, alternatively: Jin Guangyao's reasons are as above, but unbeknowst to Wei Wuxian, Xichen DOES know what jgy is about to do and either misinterprets this as an invitation to all die together, or inidividually decides he, too, is done, and wants to join his sworn brothers in the grave. To Jin Guangyao this has nothing to do with Lan Xichen, and he still doesn't want him to die, so he pushes him away against Lan Xichen's wishes.

Every single one of these interpretations is unhinged and they are all supported by the original text. It's like a choose your own adventure of tragic gay endings.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #meng yao #jin guangyao #lan xichen #nie mingjue #3zun #xiyao #rs: i wish it could've been you #honestly which is worse for xichen. Being denied his wish explicitly or only realizing he wanted it after it'd already been denied for him #OR genuinely not wanting to die but being forced to live with the fact that even after he essentially killed him jgy still saved his life #just another way he's in his debt #like no matter what he's not coming out of here okay #i switch between a bunch of these all the time but actually favor the last 2 because they're very underexplored in my opinion #I like it when 'i never even thought about hurting you' remains true to the bitter end. He never even considered it #also I just... have a lot of feelings about that being his mom's coffin #do you remember that in the novel the coffin was so heavy only sect leaders could bear the weight? #so for the burial a group of sect leaders had to be the pallbearers... the SYMBOLISM GUYS!! THE SYMBOLISM! #jgy dies in infamy but despite everything it's the highest of cultivation society who carry the coffin he's buried in #he's in the same coffin as a great sect leader!! As nmj!! After a whole life fighting an uphill battle finally in death they are equal #it's not justice and it's not fair but it's... something #wwx's interpretation is the one i favour the least. sorry bro you remain an unreliable narrator to me. #it feels rather uncharitable towards jgy which makes sense for wwx's pov but makes it not my favorite #there's an alternative version of that intepretation where jgy THINKS he's doing the coffin trio pact and thinks xichen accepts. #and has the same realization of oh no he still cares I don't want him to die and pushes lxc away #meanwhile lan xichen hasn't actually processed any of this because it all happened in about 0.4 seconds #i like that one slightly more but it's still not my favorite #there's tragedy in the misunderstanding but it's a bit convoluted.

[skitskatdacat63]

For everyone who wanted bullfighter Nando when I mentioned it the other day, here you go :D

+ this one I don't feel like coloring yet(imagine he's in Ferrari colors!!!)

#did you know bullfighters dedicate their kill to a friend or member of the public by giving them their hat? #i really wanted to draw silly vettonso where fernando offers seb his hat #seb retires from bullfighting(yeah its an au now) and fernando in his green costume is like; #'here is my hat. now will you come back from retirement? 🥺' #but yeah feel very abnormal abt that ^ and also the thing abt them having someone who helps them get into their costume as a sacred ritual #theres just a lot of thoughts and ideas floating around in my head bcs of it #anyways i liked drawing this but it was very suffering too and took me like 5 hours #its like. you see the intricate embroidery and im like ah! omg! i love painting details!!! #and then remember im not the best w coming up with ideas for the embroidery pattern itself #so pls bear with me 😭😭 mainly i was trying to reference the diamond logo of renault #but most of it kinda just ended up being austrian knots i guess bcs thats what my mind defaults to #i thought the shoulder pad would be the most difficult but that came together the easiest and made the rest actually work in my head #aaahhh also im surprised w the angle of his face! im usually not good at side profiles as well as tilted down heads #but i think he looks pretty good honestly??? #also w the sketch i just wanted to post it bcs i liked his face okay 😭😭😭 #i wanted to paint it too but I realized im so naive thinking i could paint two of these horrifically detailed things in one session #but his face 🥹🥹 i like it!!! theres some renault era pic of him i really like where hes sun drenched and angry looking #^ and i think i captured the vibe well so!!!!! #well anyways mayhe ill draw more of this. it was fun but also like sucked my life force out bcs it kept going from easy to 'I CANT DO THIS' #the pictures of matadors are just...insane to me. tiny waist fat ass flamboyant costume. im dead 🫠 #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #catie.art. #fa14 #matador au

[luck-of-the-drawings]

The Oath an older sister takes is on par with that of a Paladins, and sometimes upheld with the very same ferocity…

#jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #jrwi show #gillion tidestrider #edyn tidestrider #OKAY I WONT RAMBLE HERE AS MUCH AS LAST TIME BUT RAAHHH IM RLY PROUD O THIS PAGE. it was rottin in my wips for so long #but now its DONE!!(as much as im willing it to be) i rly like my colors! i looove playin with colors :3c #seeing everyones nice words on my last post also made me SOOO HAPPY it motivated me to create MORE!!!! #SO HERE HERE more edyn n gillion bc they make me EMOTIONAL!! i work with lil kids as my job too and im also an older sister so #i might be projecting a liiittle bit. okay to be fair i project onto gillion ALOT!! i didnt do well in school and adults are mean somtimes: #i hope we find out whats going on with edyn soon... whole heartedly trust her tho. she has gillions best interests in mind! #ive been rotatin the thought of her assassinating the elders in my brain for SO LONG!! i just need edyn to KILL to protect gillion ouuhhh #hope she comes back with like a giant sword or a cool gun #RAMBLE ABT UR FEELINGS IN THE TAGS BTW #I READ IT ALL N IT MAKES ME SO SO SO HAPPY. YOU GOTTA.

[willowser]

part one here :)

your father accepts takami's proposal the spring after you turn 21.

keigo has enough sympathy to push the process back, after touya's death. despite not knowing what you were sharing in letters, the plans you were making, he has enough respect to give you the time to heal. he's a good man and you do feel lucky to have him, out of all the suitors your father was speaking to, and you think you could love him, with time.

further up north, into the mountains, he has a piece of land and a cabin, a bunch of horses, and one evening he tells you he can't wait to take you there. let you see what else is out in the world, the beauty that you're missing in your small town. you think you might like that; all you see in the street, in your dreams and dark doorways, is touya's ghost.

an outlaw gang begins to pick up speed out to the east. at first you hear very little of it, don't know all the details of their crimes, but the more inland they move, the bloodier their trail becomes. keigo gets pulled into the investigation as they ride across the country and he's gone frequently, which has been another reason for his delayed proposal, and on the nights that you can't sleep, he tells you not to worry. the league, as they've been nicknamed, is only killing off men in the army. soldiers, in their sleep or late at night as they trail home from taverns.

it doesn't settle any of your nerves. if anything, it makes you sicker. you can't help but to remember the things touya told you in his letters, how angry he was at what the men around him had become. the seed he planted flourishes in the wake of bloodshed; vengefully, you think these men deserved it, after all the harm they've done, what they took from you. on nights when the melancholia hits the hardest, you're relieved, even, at the justice—and that has your stomach souring every time takami smiles at you.

the day of the wedding comes suddenly, despite all the waiting you and keigo and your families have had to do. you're to marry in a small church, white and paint-chipped; a final resting place to your lost love. you say goodbye to touya then, as you take in the image of your own reflection, the woman grief has made you. the woman you'll have to be from then on.

keigo's a good man, deserving of a good wife, and he is here and warm and alive—and you want to give him a fair chance.

the organ plays outside your small dressing room, your signal to come out. your dad should be waiting on the other side of the door to walk you down to where keigo waits for you. one last time, you close your eyes and imagine someone else at the end of the aisle—a bright-eyed young man that that you've loved as long as you can remember—

and then you let him go.

but when you open the door, expecting to see the face of your father, you are met with the looming figure of a dark man; dark cowboy hat, dark jacket, dark bandana pulled up just under his eyes. the organ plays on, unaffected, and the man—the bandit—simply puts one finger to his lips, silencing you.

"c'mon now, girl," he rasps, creeping in closer and closer, a hand raised to grab you up. "don't wanna be late for the wedding, now do we?"

you ride for days with a sack over your head, hands and ankles chained.

just by the sound of their voices, you count at least four of them, one being the woman—girl, she sounds like—that helps you out to the shade when you need to relieve yourself. the names are used infrequently enough that you can't attach them to the visions you've painted in your mind, of what they must look like.

the only one you know for certain is dabi, and that's the name of the man you ride with.

he and another snappy young fellow help to haul you up onto the horse every morning, and the son-of-a-bitch pulls you flush against his chest, arms around your waist as he takes the reins. you hear his smile, how it poisons his voice when he presses into the burlap, asking, "comfortable, girl?"

you refuse to answer, refuse to speak if you don't have to. it's a good thing they keep the sack over your head, you think, because if you could see him, you'd spit.

it feels like an eternity that you're with them, but time passes differently when you're a prisoner, when you can only feel the heat of the sun and not its shine on your skin. you've no idea what they want with you or why they've taken you; you're given your own tent—that you can tell, trapped in the dark as you are. there is no breath echoing beside yours, no warmth to be found. only the low glow of a campfire, and the muffled voices murmuring around it.

everything changes when you give in. when you decide to speak.

you've already been pushed into your tent for the night, but you can hear the sound of vibrant laughter echoing outside against the night, and you think of your only hope: the girl.

"i need to go!" you call, heart thrumming as the voices die down. "i need to go, i said!"

the tent flap opens audibly and you flinch on instinct, fear bubbling in your veins. you'd been expecting the worst after first being taken, but you haven't been touched more than necessary—more than dabi deems necessary. rough as his hands have been, they haven't violated you. yet.

you're grabbed by the arm and lead out, marched down until the cold settles in and the fire is long behind you. and then you turn on her.

"please," you gasp, clutching her hands in your own. "let me go. i've got nothing for you, no purpose, but m-my husband would pay handsomely if—"

"husband?"

a chill run downs your spine at the sound of his voice, the anger lacing his words. when you try to pull away, his grip tightens, keeping you rooted as he inhales deeply, and then your feet are skidding in the dirt as he pulls you against him.

"no, no, no," he murmurs, low and raw. "ain't been no wedding yet. made sure of that."

the acknowledgment at what he's done—the pride—lights a fire under your ass. you think of keigo, standing in the church, alone. waiting as the organ played on. how long did it take for his heart to break? for them to realize you weren't coming? surely he would have sent someone after—right?

"you sure did," you seethe, angry tears building beneath your burlap. "you whoreson dog! lemme go!"

try as you might, squirming in his hold does nothing, not even when you get one hand loose and beat it against the expanse of his chest.

"get off!"

the bag is ripped off your head so quickly that it's disorienting, black spots dotting your vision as you try to blink the world into clarity. you cry out from the shock of it all, the light of the moon in your eyes, and then you're being spun around to face the vast, empty valley ahead of you. the canyons that swallow the landscape in the distance, the mountains that bar you from the only world you've ever known.

you're out in the middle of nowhere, far from civilization.

even if keigo has sent someone in search of you—who knows how soon they'll find you. if they will at all.

you try to turn your face from the disheartening sight, chest feeling hollow and pinched, but dabi grabs your chin in his hand and forces you to look.

"no, no," he repeats, "i asked for y'first and i ain't waiting another fuckin' minute."

a shrill scream rips through the night when he turns you around, hands going from your arms to cup your cheeks, digging into the sides of your neck. this is it, you think, what you've been dreading all along, the assault you knew would come from a son-of-a-bitch like him.

"look at me, girl," he growls, shaking you when your eyes squeeze shut in stubborn defiance. "i said, look at me, damn it!"

tears blur your vision, but you blink through them anyway, their searing heat. he nearly blends into the night, dark as he is, but his eyes are wide, blue, and his face is washed pale in the moonlight and—

and you gasp, hard enough that your heart wracks, that your knees buckle, but his hands never stray from your face, thumbs brushing softly over your cheekbones.

"touya?"

#OKAY HERE IT IS. AFTER A MILLION YEARS. #...another part to come this doesn’t even include you meeting the rest of the league #the fight you cause 👀 #dabi getting the kiss he deserves 👀 #not proofread because i was stressed out akfbdishka #blast from the past: hiatus q #✿ willow writes #✿ thoughts: dabi/touya #✿ theme: cowboy touya

[2hoothoots]

i was having a chuckle to myself last night about Gristol, and how his plans are basically:

Restore Ford Cruller's memory

Find Maligula

???

Profit

but then... of course they are, right? this is Gristol we're talking about. Fatherland Follies drives home again and again that he's still operating on a child's logic, a warped and reductive version of the world that he never bothered to grow out of. both of his memory vaults center on the images of his childhood, this idealized version of the past that he clings to no matter what. and that's still how he remembers Maligula, too - as this saviour figure, who rushes in to help him when he's in trouble.

[ID: Two slides from Gristol's memory vault, Glory to Grulovia! Left: Gristol clings to Maligula's back as she summons waves to sweep away his assailants. Right: Gristol and Maligula waving from a balcony as the people cheer. Gzar Theodore brandishes a dagger in the background.]

like so much else, Maligula represents a return to this idyllic childhood - to the peace and simplicity of his youth, when he was free from worries and responsibilities. in his mind, he doesn't need to make any further plans - once Maligula's back, everything will go back to normal. Maligula will make everything better.

...is what i thought, but then i remembered this line:

[Screenshot source. ID: Gristol, in Truman's body, bows on his hands and knees in front of the newly-awaked Maligula. The caption reads: "Yes, High Priestess! I am here to correct the mistakes made by my father!"]

and that's kind of interesting, right?

to be clear: this happens directly after Maligula sees Helmut-in-Gristol's-body, and recognises him. her line before this is:

"Little Gzesaravich! Have you come to pay for your father's sins?"

my first thought was that Gristol hadn't expected to still be in Truman's body by the time he managed to find Maligula, and this was him trying to placate her and buy some time until he could explain the situation. but watching the cutscene back, that's clearly not what's happening here. Gristol is answering as himself, and his response of throwing himself to his knees before her is, as far as i can tell, genuine.

so what is going on here?

in Fatherland Follies, there's this line in the ride narration that stuck out to me:

"Why didn't the Gzar help Maligula in her time of need? No one knows, but historians agree - it is Gzar Theodore's biggest failure."

other lines mention Gzar Theodore's "mistake", and it's wording Gristol himself echoes in the screencap above. evidently, he believes that his father abandoned Maligula, leaving her to her fate at the hands of the Psychonauts, and it was that mistake that lead to them being driven out of the country - that mistake which he seeks to correct. maybe he even feels like he has a debt to repay to her for his family turning their backs on her all those years ago.

the 'High Priestess' thing, though - that's kinda weird, and threw me for a loop the first time i played the game. it took me until my second playthrough to connect the dots, and remember how the room in the Lady Luctopus - Gristol's room - was full of Delugionist scribblings and symbols.

[Screenshot source. ID: left, the walls of the hidden backroom in Gristol's hotel suite, covered in scrawlings of eyeballs and Maligula's name. Right, the pinboard from the hidden backroom. On its surface are photographs and newspaper clippings connected by pieces of string.]

i mean, look at this stuff! he had a whole conspiracy board and everything!

we learn very little about the Delugionists and their beliefs as a whole during the game, but i think drawing the connection here suggests two important things. one: that Gristol was in deep with this stuff. i don't know how he linked up with them - maybe via old family connections, or just good old-fashioned digging (we know he's skilled at worming his way into peoples' good graces, after all) - but it seems likely that he's begun to internalise their ideas, maybe even warping his own memories of events. and two: the Delugionists themselves are, if you'll pardon the pun, pretty far off the deep end.

like... i understand why PN2 didn't go heavy on the "mass-murderer cult worship" aspect of things, in the end, but man this is such a tantalising glimpse into the wider mythos around Maligula. Gristol is proud and haughty and thinks himself above everyone else; the fact that his first reaction seeing Maligula is to throw himself to the ground at her feet says so much about the way he's come to see her. he's not just trying to bring back Maligula, his childhood bodyguard. he's trying to bring back Maligula, the High Priestess of the deluge, the semi-mythical figure whose supporters believe even death couldn't stop. he doesn't even flinch at the way she confronts him, and maybe it's because he's bought in so completely to this deified figurehead, this idea of Maligula; more a living force of nature than a person. and it all comes back to the same place: an abdication of responsibility, not just to the person who protected him when he was little but to this avatar of floods and destruction. Maligula will make everything better.

i'd write more about my thoughts on the Delugionists but that'd be taking a hard turn into speculation, and this is already kind of long and rambling so i'd better end it here. but what an unexpected and evocative line, right? it's some of the only stuff we have to go off of regarding the Delugionists as a whole, but i think it does such a good job of hinting at the wider story - at teasing another layer to the mythos surrounding Maligula, one whose ripples we see throughout the game but which never quite breaches the surface.

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #bored waiting at the airport so you get more psychonauts meta from me #the delugionists have been on my mind recently (because i Might Just have an upcoming au lorepost about them and also cults are fun) #so tossing my thoughts up here because people seemed to like the last few times i did this #and also it's my blog and i like to talk :) #related vent i HATE drafting posts in the tumblr editor because if you hit crtl+z to try and undo a formatting change #it deletes like half the post you just typed out #(yes i did it again while i was writing this. yes i'm still salty. why do i even bother) #what else... this is just becoming a disconnected thoughts dump #but if you've seen my posts you knew what you were signing up for when you hit the button to expand the post tags #there's new art coming hopefully this weekend if i can get it finished! it's more mermaid au designs #i'm two and a half weeks late for mermay but it turns out starting a new job and moving house doesn't leave you with a ton of free time #but that's okay it's never too late for mermaids #omg and artfight's coming up next month too! geez #i gotta make refsheets for the fsau trio because i would LOVE to get art of them #and this year i don't have a thesis to crunch on so i might actually have time to participate #oh and then in august i'm having top surgery! will make a proper announcement post for it at some point #i say 'announcement'. it's just a life update but it's nice to share #i'm super excited about it :) #i might end up blogging the process and recovery but obviously it won't be going here lol. i'd put it on my main #idk if anyone would find it useful but when i first started looking into surgery i had like very little idea about the whole process #and it's only through joining a bunch of online support/discussion groups that i managed to find more info and resources #so hey it might be useful to share? we'll see #our flight doesn't land for another fifty minutes so now i'm just writing in the tags because i'm bored #alright i'll proofread this and then post it when i land and have signal again. peace out yall hope your pride month is going well

[itsarandomblog]

I think, for a while, Camila would be really mad at Lilith. She left without a trace then she kissed sided with Adriel, and they lost Ava coz of it, resulting in Bea leaving the Order. And Lilith would feel... irredeemable and nothing really mattered but the Holy War but every time she flies over to OCS hq (coz she likes to check up on them if they're preparing), she'd see Camila training new recruits, and being ruthless, the way Lilith used to be on the woman, but then be a cinnamon roll after that, helping the one she just beat over the mat, and Lilith just, you know, wants to apologize. Make it right. Lilith doesn't really care about the others. Camila's forgiveness was all she needed wanted.

So one day, in the middle of the night, she teleports to Camila's room and comes face-to-face with an angry cinnamon roll with a divinium dagger in hand against her neck. Lilith didn't teleport away, she let the blade cut her neck, but her wings unfurled involuntarily.

And the scene might go like this:

Camila, with unshed tears, "Give me one valid reason not to slit your throat right here, right now."

Lilith, mustering up all the courage, knowing she would might die that night, "I'm sorry. For everything."

Then Lilith would fall on her knees, head bent down, neck exposed, while Camila would look down on her, blade on her hand. Slowly, she pointed it down at her neck and Lilith closed her eyes, waiting for the blade, believing she deserves whatever punishment Camila would give her.

Then she'd hear a clang beside her, the dagger near her knees.

Lilith, being all confused, would look up, and see a crying Camila, shaking. With anger or with sadness, she wasn't sure.

For a while, they stayed like that.

Lilith, wings unfurled on her side, kneeling in front of Camila.

#warrior nun #save warrior nun #sister camila #sister lilith #camila x lilith #this started as a random thought #now i felt like i created a scene for a fanfic #i have two endings here #on the brighter side camila would also kneel and hug lilith telling her she forgave her and all and they live happily ever after #on the darker side camila tell lilith she won't hesitate to stab her neck if she ever comes back but lilith would always come back #either lilith really wants camila to forgive her or she wants to punish herself #yes people they're inlove with each other but adriel happened okay?

[math-is-math]

All I want is a few more father-son bonding moments between them! Is that too much for a girl to ask?? Is it???

Arrested Development has my heart this show takes the number one spot in my heart (tied with parks and rec ofc) 💕💕

#no one ask me about Michael’s hand I can’t draw okay #art #arrested development #arrested development fanart #never thought I’d see this shit coming #but here we are #michael bluth #george michael bluth #stair car #father son moment #family bonding