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#only Sith Lords in the senate
writerbuddha · 10 months
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"Homicidal, these babies are."
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Context: never watch Only Murders in the Building Season 3 Episode 4 and think about Star Wars Episode III in the same time. Or if you can't do that, at least get enough sleep. (Picture belongs to Little Golden Books.)
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twilight-skies · 2 years
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Yknow
There is a severe lack of Good Omens Star Wars AUs (jedi-aziraphale x sith-crowley)
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threebea · 2 months
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Okay I love the fanon Dooku and Obi-Wan dynamic and all of them getting along and being a great master and Padawan pair.
But consider...
Au where for whatever reason Dooku has to take on Obi-Wan's apprenticeship and they absolutely hate each other.
Dooku (68 and trying to get seduced to the dark side): are you going to tattle to the council again?
Obi-Wan (19 and not having it): are you going to drop protocol and try to choke someone out with the Force again?
Like Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon always had their moments of friction but the level of ice that can develop between Dooku and Obi-Wan is legendary.
Obi-Wan: Master I don't think siding with capitalists and billionaires will help the people of this planet like you think it will.
Dooku: the red tape of the republic-
Obi-Wan: is there to ensure walkways have guard rails. Do you see a guard rail here? If knighthood doesn't pan out I'm applying for a job with Space OSHA.
Dooku: Padawan the Jedi are the attack dogs of the Senate.
Obi-Wan: hey I am not the one using the force to choke people on my missions. I use my words. I think you'll find you're the one attacking--
Dooku: are you ever going to let that go?
Obi-Wan: of course Master! I know how to let go! Unlike you when you're crushing someone's windpipe!
Dooku: why you little-
Obi-Wan: *choking sounds*
Mace: you've been together for a month, surely this is just a rocky first step.
Dooku lifts his arm, Obi-Wan is biting him hanging off by his teeth: I'm going to level with you Master Windu. I was considering leaving the Jedi and joining a Sith Lord who plans to destroy the Jedi and take over the galaxy, but now my only desire is to get as far away from Obi-Wan Kenobi as I can and never speak to him again.
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wizard-finix · 4 months
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LU Star Wars AU: Part 3
Got a theme of noncanon characters for this one, this time we have Spirit and Warriors! (It doesn't feel right having a Star Wars AU without including Spirit)
PART 1 | PART 2
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Spirit
Spirit isn't actually related to Wind, but the two of them are so alike in appearance that many mistake them for twins. While Wind loves to pilot, Spirit's interest lies more in tinkering directly with the spacecraft itself. He personally works on Tetra's, Linebeck's, and Wind's ships, and ended up also working as a mechanic for the Alliance for a brief time before moving on.
Spirit has had his own adventures with Spectre (AKA his Zelda); he is one of the rare few people alive to venture into the chaotic Unknown Regions of the galaxy without a wayfinder or star compass and return to tell the tale. That adventure involved an encounter with a ghostlike being named Malladus.
Spirit is also especially in tune with the Force and spirits, just like Wind. He also has some skill with a blaster, and is extremely handy in space combat, but he has no interest in combat and would rather work on his personal projects and ship designs. His personal favorite is a prototype set of powered armor he designed for Spectre, but unfortunately it got wrecked in the encounter with Malladus.
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Warriors
Warriors is an active military captain in the Alliance. He is also a close friend of Artemis, who is a high ranking general and a current member of the Imperial Senate. Their home planet has widespread anti-Imperial sentiments and secretly hosts a base for the Alliance, and Artemis does her best to keep it hidden from Imperial eyes.
Warriors actually inherited his saber from his mother, a former Jedi Knight from the days of the Jedi Order, and was taught how to wield it by her before she passed. He grew up on stories of the old Order and is determined to uphold the legacy of being a Jedi Knight. Part of that is looking out for his men and protecting those who can't protect themselves, and protecting Artemis in her efforts with the Alliance.
He has a certain amount of pride in that legacy and the skills and stories he was taught. He quickly rose to the rank of Artemis's personal knight, and his achievements make him stand out among Alliance forces. It took a few particularly close calls with Imperial Forces to temper his pride.
One of those encounters involved a Sith Lord named Cia, whose attention he unwittingly caught. The only reason he escaped alive was due to someone named Lana, who he later learned was Cia's twin sister. Cia still has a one-sided obsession with Warriors in particular and is determined to hunt him down.
Warriors has also met plenty of people across the galaxy during his time with the Alliance; among these people were Wind and Spirit. Wind had a brief stint with Warriors as a pilot and Spirit ended up tagging along for the ride.
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(Linked Universe AU belongs to Jojo)
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forever--darling · 5 months
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me & the devil
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summary: anakin skywalker was the chosen one, the jedi to end the war once & for all. he was and always had been the chosen one but plagued with a darkness & a sense of passion like no other. once princess of bakura, now a padawan in training, you can't help but feel the force weakening upon the confines of your soul, challenging the trajectory of the jedi being forbidden to form attachments at the mere sight of the young man.
its as if you can feel it, feel him windling, wading away to the dark side, & yet you're the only one. after all it was said that every hundred years, there is a ripple within the void of the universe, a connection like no other, wrote out in the stars like fate.
pairings: attackoftheclones!anakin x princess!reader | revengeofthesith!anakin x jedi!reader | anakin skywalker x padme amidala (mentioned)
word count: 37.5k (updated: 23th of january)
warnings/notes: soulmate au, very slow burn, angst, swearing, violence (takes place in a war), mentions of death, mentions of sex, lord vader!anakin, oblivious!anakin, unrequited love, possibility of smut eventually
masterlist | requests are closed [unless they will be blurbs]
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attack of the clones
00. the princess of bakura 01. young padawan 02. the chosen one 03. spoken code 04. senator amidala
revenge of the sith
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fission-mailure · 1 year
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I feel like the ‘the Jedi were too strict with Anakin and it was abusive and that’s why he fell!’ is telling of a certain ... power fantasy some Star Wars fans have.
Because Anakin didn’t have to be a Jedi. We know he could’ve left the Order, because that’s what Dooku did. The man’s the most skilled fighter pilot of his era, a capable combatant, has experience with diplomacy, has worked as a bodyguard, etc, etc, he would not even remotely struggle to find work, even without taking into account that his wife is a wealthy senator who could easily support him. Hell, while he’d probably have to give up his lightsaber, it’s not like it’d be impossible for him to build another one -- it isn’t illegal for a non-Jedi to own a lightsaber, and it’s clearly possible to acquire lightsaber crystals outside of the Order because, again, Dooku has a lightsaber. It’s not even like he’d have to give up his friendship with Obi-Wan -- Obi-Wan has friends who aren’t Jedi, he has a whole bunch of them. So does Yoda.
(Hell, it’s not even like non-Jedi aren’t allowed to use the Force. As Palpatine points out in the Revenge of the Sith novelisation, it’s not even technically illegal to be a Sith Lord.)
The only reason Anakin can’t leave the Order is because he doesn’t want to. He wants everything: He wants the power, prestige, excitement, and community the Jedi offer, but he also wants to not have to follow their rules. 
And I think for quite a lot of people that’s a very relatable thing, right? We want to have it all. The fantasy of being a cool Jedi is, for a lot of people, ruined by the addendum that there are things you would have to forego to do that. That’s one reason why the idea of Grey Jedi, which fully is just that ‘you can have your cake and fuck it too’ is so appealing to so many fans.
But that’s not what life is like, in reality or in fiction. And Anakin’s fall brings that crashing in: He tries to have everything, and he ends up with nothing. Less than nothing, because at the end of it, not only does he not have any of the things he wanted in the first place, but he’s also lost his freedom (because let’s make no mistake, as much of a terrible, gleeful executor of cruelty and misery as he is as Vader, he is also Palpatine’s slave) and his body.
It’s easy and in a way quite appealing to shift the blame elsewhere and go “Well, he could’ve had it all, but people more powerful than him stopped him from doing so.”
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vadersassistant · 9 months
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Hiiii
wo dering if you could do an enemies to lover anakin imagine. kind of like friends to enemies to lovers or something like that and it ends in them making out o whatever you are comfortable with.
Anyways thank youuu
Denial One Shot (Darth Vader x Reader)
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Summary: After venturing into a Sith Temple to try and find an edge on the current war, (Y/N) meets her enemy, Lord Vader, the man who killed her best friend and secret lover. He has been hunting both her and her alias down for months, following her across the galaxy, but little does she know, he has no plans to kill her. Takes place in the temple seen in the Star Wars Rebels season two finale. Reader was previously a Jedi and is in hiding due to order 66.
Warnings: Make out session
A/N: (Y/N) does not know Vader is Anakin, and Vader does not know (Y/N) is the Fugitive he has been searching for. This is once again a mix of suited Vader and nightfall Vader. In which, Vader wears the suit and mask, but he can take it off and looks like the Anakin we know and love.
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The temple was eerie, an odd feeling passing by with each step you took. It was the opposite of the one I grew up in, representing everything I was told to dislike, and yet I was here anyways. I had made up my mind to fight instead of continuing to run from the problem. I wasn’t a rebel, but I wasn’t an imperial either. I was the middle ground, a former Jedi with a new identity, a mask to shield my face so that I could live freely, but the saber still gave it away. I was good, too good to be a civilian having fun with an old relic, even though some still used them publicly. Some, as in him.
The Jedi fell and Lord Vader rose out of thin air. There was no preface, no foreshadowing, he just came, and everyone bowed their heads.
To outsiders he was a military leader trained in combat, who happened to use an imaginary power. To force users, like Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, and I, he was a Sith. We all knew it the second he began hunting us down. He wanted the Jedi dead and made it clear when he began searching for my alias as well. Everyone knew who she was, I was put on every single imperial security watch available, but I evaded it all I could. I forged a new saber, so that they couldn’t track me that way, and told people about how the female jedi on the Holonets from the clone wars died. The only people who truly knew were Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, since they too had done something similar. He was Ben, she was Ashla, and I gained the name Fugitive, a mask being the only way to keep track of my identity.
I couldn’t count how many storm-troopers I had killed by now, just that I did. I was forced to, to keep myself alive, because he wanted me turned in. I was always told to run, to flee from Vader because of what he’s done, but all I wanted was for the man to wind up dead. A lust for revenge had developed ever since I learned what he did to my best friend, Anakin Skywalker.
I don’t even know how he could have killed a warrior like him, but he did and now he’s gone. Slaughtered like any other while trying to save people in the temple, something someone with his character would have done naturally. The worst part is that everyone he was trying to save is dead too, and that he could have escaped with us, had he not done what he did. He had a wife, Senator Amidala, a good friend of mine, who also died that night, although I wasn’t sure if they ended on good terms.
The two had been arguing for a while, he believed she was cheating on him with Obi Wan, although she continued to deny it along with everyone else. I was the only one who he talked to about his problems willingly, even Kenobi would have to go through reading his mind to talk about personal issues. It was only when Anakin died that the truth came out, that being that Anakin was right, and she was seeing Kenobi.
I hadn’t recognized him after that point. I knew he was afraid he would be kicked out of the Jedi order if we found out he was dating another woman. Even further, the fact he knowingly was allowing the affair to happen, but it occurred anyways, and he lost everything with it. That was consequence enough, he didn’t need me to yell at him any further for going that far.
Still, I was angry, because I cared about Anakin.
And also loved him.
I denied it for years, the helpless prodding’s from Ahsoka when the two of us would spend hours upon hours with each other. We carried out the entire war effort, working extremely close together on missions. It was no surprise that I liked him, he had even mentioned subtly what things would be like if he hadn’t met her. It sounded like he regretted it, but I had no clue, due to us being force users.
I now stood in front of the man who took him away, the one that gutted him in the chest like a fish with no care whatsoever. The man that had been hunting me down under both my names since the night of the fall, the one that was known for murdering everyone in his path. I don’t know how he found me, I had a feeling we were being followed, but I didn’t care. We needed the Holocron inside of the temple, and Ahsoka now had it in hand. I could sense their distraught, both behind me looking at the Sith in front of us. They didn’t want to fight him; they were afraid to fight him. I felt differently, looking at his mask through the visors of my own.
“It was foretold that you would be here, our long-awaited meeting has come at last."
“This meeting is over,” Ahsoka said.
“Are you so sure?” the Sith questioned through the modulated voice his mask provided him, as I stepped forward.
“What are you doing?” Obi-Wan asked me, his breath becoming short.
“Leave."
“No," he shook his head. "Don’t do this."
“Leave. Now.”
I looked up at the temple’s ceiling as the walls started to drop down. It was collapsing on itself, since the Holocron had been taken from the Obelisk. There wasn’t much to do, but I knew I didn’t want to pull them into this. I turned around and outstretched a hand.  
Ahsoka screamed as I force pushed both her and Obi-Wan back while the temple’s walls crashed down. I saw her figure fly back just before the drop and felt her gently land. There was a ship, they could leave, I would worry about myself after I killed him.
“We’re finishing this here,” I said. "I know you've been hunting me for the past months."
“You are courageous, unlike your friends,” the Sith mused. “Hateful.”
“You killed my best friend," I pointed out. "I want you to experience that same pain."
“Revenge is not the Jedi way,” he reminded. "Your confidence dilutes your ability to make rational decisions."
“I am no Jedi.”
“Then who are you? Your saber is unlike any I have ever seen, an identity successfully hidden behind a helm.”
“That’s none of your business, why have you been hunting me?” I asked. I felt the pressure of the Dark Side creeping against my mind's barriers, he was trying to invade.
“You would make a wonderful apprentice in the dark side,” Vader said. "You have already abandoned your training as a Jedi."
“I don’t side with murderers.”
“And yet you are one. I have seen your way of fighting Fugitive; you have killed countless of our troops and inquisitors.”
“Your Inquisitorious is an embarrassment, and I will never join you, not after what you did,” I called my saber to my hand, igniting it.
“Then you will die.”
There was this feeling of fear that attempted to wash over me, like he was attempting to throw me off, but I wasn't thinking about it anymore.
I ran full speed at him, force pushing myself up off the ground and into the air to try and put myself on the offensive. My blade met his right over his helmet, as he angled me back and I landed behind him. My automatic response was to try and swing for his legs, a move he evaded but had been surprised by. I knew I needed to be careful with how I played things. He would try and tire me out by just playing the defensive, but I also didn’t get that tired frow much stamina I built up during the war. Vader was also bigger, and stronger, meaning I’d need to use his weight to my advantage. I was quick, less stable, and grounded, and more agile in my movements.
We continued to take shots at each other, as he seemingly began to test me. It was a constant switch from the right to the left, bashing at each other from different angles and walking along with it. It was something Anakin and I always did, and it almost felt familiar. For whatever reason, I could feel myself getting into the rhythm Skywalker and I got into when we would train every day. After a certain point I would always switch my grip and force him to back off, and I did it purely out of muscle memory, shoving the Sith back.
“Your anger focuses you,” he commented. “Join me and I can enhance that power.”
“You killed him, the man I loved, do you truly believe I would ever consider that?”
“He is gone for a reason,” Vader said.
“He was the chosen one!” I shouted, interlocking lightsabers in a pursuit for power over the other. "You know why he lost his life?! Because he was trying to save everyone else, instead of actually caring for himself for once."
“(Y/N)."
I stumbled back immediately, hearing that name leave his mouth,
"What?"
My eyes widened beneath the visors, letting my guard down for just a moment.
It was all he needed.
I felt his immense force break through my walls and invade my mind, clawing through my memories and thoughts like a file. Not only that, but he immediately took me to the ground. It was quick, as he now straddled me, muscular thighs resting over my lower waist. Both my arms were pinned to either side with by the force, my saber in his hand.
I grunted, struggling under him and thrusting against his cod piece hoping it would make him budge but it barely made a difference. I couldn’t do a thing, as the Sith reached for my mask and pressed down on the sides. I felt it depressurize, as his gloved digits lifted it off my head, and I looked into his mask with my own eyes.
"How do you know my name?" I asked angrily as I fought underneath him to free myself.
There was no way of telling what he truly felt in that moment, holding the helm silently, breathing being the only indication he was still alive. I continued to try and do everything to get out of his grasp, but the Sith only sat there and took me in, his body heat lingering over my own. I felt like a mess, wondering where Ahsoka and Obi-Wan might be right now, realizing why Anakin lost his life to this man. I didn’t know how he knew my name, my real name, the one that no one had called me in months. I was fully pinned down, not giving up until I saw him reach for his own helmet.
"What are you do—"
My throat ran dry, amber eyes piercing through my body like a blade.
"Anakin."
It was him, with brown hair that held golden streaks just above his armor.
"(Y/N)."
Hearing his voice sent a shiver down my entire back, as I shuddered underneath him.
“I thought you died—they said Vader killed you—" there were tears welling up in my eyes, looking up at him.
“I am alive."
“Why did you turn?"
“The Jedi council was using us, Obi-Wan lied to me about Padme (Y/N), they were having an affair. But you know that already.”
“Obi Wan told us,” I trailed off.
“I know.”
“Do you plan to kill me?”
“No, that was never my intent," he emphasized lowly.
“So, what will you do?” I questioned.
“After separating myself from the order, I reflected much upon it,” Anakin started. "And came to terms with several of my mistakes."
“What mistakes?”
Still straddling me Anakin leaned down, placing his hands by either sides of my head and lowering himself to my ear.
“I was blindly dating filthy senator, when I had the love of my life right next to me the entire time."
"What do you mean?" I emphasized each word, my abdomen tensing as he got so close to me.
"There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of my future and imagine you by my side. I told myself it was our strong bond causing me to think of you constantly, due to the amount of time we spent together, but now, I feel completely different."
"Anakin," my heart was racing, as he continued to whisper into my ear.
"Maker, I missed you so much."
He was just trying to be friendly, that's all this was.
"Now, I know you are not that naive," he let out a deep chuckle, reading my mind.
"Is this your way of coercing me into joining the dark side?" I said softly, trying to play it off.
"There is no need to coerce you (Y/N), your heart is already doing all the work," Anakin told me. "All there is to do is to make up for lost time."
"No.."
"Continuing to deny it is only stalling the inevitable," he spoke in a playful way. "Your hatred towards the one you believed to be my killer only proves it more."
"I—" I cut myself off, as Anakin moved his head, now right over mine.
"What is it?" he asked me, his golden eyes flicking from my lips up to my eyes in quick fashion.
I gave in, nodding to his silent question and feeling the force lift off my hands.
Anakin pressed his lips to mine as I lifted my head up and met him midway. His robotic hand came down to my waist, the other combing through my hair as he helped hold my head steady. It was delicate and prepared, goosebumps crawling over my skin as his weight pressed me onto the cold temple floors. He was an expert in the way he worked around my mouth, the first time I had ever kissed anyone to begin with.
To think such a sacred place would be ruined due to our own shenanigans.
A Jedi and a Sith, making out in a temple with no care for sentiment.
His lips were chapped yet soft, and the more breaths we took between kissing the more swollen they became. Anakin didn’t seem to care though, continuing to go down on my neck allowing me to breath. He wasn’t going too far, but it was enough for the occasion, leaving marks I that wouldn’t leave for days.
It was madness.
Everything around us screamed in pleasure, the force happily chiming along with the two sides agreeing on something, even if it wasn’t an argument. Anakin had changed, and I couldn’t decide if it was for better or for worse.
If only those two could see me now, making love to the man that we had been running from for months. The copious amounts of rage had turned to attraction in a blink of an eye, rejoicing in his presence as my hand pressed against his tunic and I felt his abdomen underneath the fabric. He was such light and yet the darkness itself, drowning me in it as we sunk into a pool of ecstasy.
The cold stone floors were soon heated, as the temple grew humid and we both simultaneously agreed to take our tops off. It was the definition of multitasking, as I took off his armor and tunic, leaving behind a black pair of pants, and his boots. With the force he slipped my top off, gaining access to my collar bone and gracing it with his mouth. There was a possessive feeling in the air, as he took in my body for the first time with his own eyes as I did to him.
"You are so beautiful, it is intoxicating."
I felt myself smiling, sitting up and wrapping my arms around his neck, the both of us kissing deeply. This was it, holding our breath as we enjoyed one another, but the force was warning the both of us.
The temple shook, I almost forgot it was collapsing.
"We need to escape before we become trapped inside," Anakin said. "My ship is outside."
"And you assume I'm coming?"
"I know you are."
I laughed, acknowledging his foresight. We put on our clothes hurriedly yet thoroughly, as someone trained to handle life or death would. In truth, that was what we stood for, as Jedi and Sith both came together as one, in ways that would be frowned upon.
Except we didn't care.
We weren't denying it any longer.
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Back in business since the recent Ahsoka episode. Hope you all enjoyed!
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phoenixyfriend · 10 months
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Hey have a fun AU I came up with the other day after reading a bunch of fics with related tropes
It's a raised Sith AU. Anakin was found by Sidious well before he was found by Qui-Gon. He was raised by the Sith, is a classically horrible monster stalking about TCW to be Vader (mask and all, just as an intimidation factor instead of life support) while Ventress and Grievous and Dooku do their own things in a different section of the war. He's got a Really Fucking Weird dynamic with Obi-Wan, mostly attempting to kill him etc.
At some point, Palpatine allows Anakin and Padme to meet. The romance that blooms is one that Sheev decides is useful to him, so he lets it happen.*
Padme gets pregnant. Sidious arranges for her death. Anakin loses his entire shit and tries to kill Sidious. Obi-Wan is off trying to save Padme, unaware of Anakin getting his remaining limbs cut off by his this-universe Master. (This is important, because Anakin does remember Obi-Wan trying to save Padme.)
So we have Anakin, who was raised Sith, and just lost the only things that have mattered to him since his mom died when he was a kid, and Palpatine has pushed him further into the Dark than he ever has. Anakin… knows more about the Sith Secrets in this universe.
Anakin finds a Sithly Time Machine. Maybe on Malachor. There's an owl? Whatever.
Anakin, someone who's been Vader for the vast majority of his life, wakes up at age nine. Maybe even younger, like six. His mother is already dead at Sidious's hands. He's already roommates with Maul. He's already being trained as a baby Sith.
Anakin, being a 20 year old war veteran, is much better at escaping than Sidious has planned for. He reprograms a medical droid to take out his slave chip, steals a ship, etc. All the stuff that Maul wasn't very good at, and Anakin was too young for, so Sidious didn't have the preventative measures in place for yet.
Anakin heads for the one place and person he thinks he can trust: Obi-Wan Kenobi.
(Obi-Wan is still a padawan. But this Baby Sith just declared him Adoptive Teen Dad, so.)
@lizasweetling (all indented bits from here will be hers):
Because Sith. Bad for mental health of the user and generally bad for their environs But also baby. And if hes dragging Maul around no doubt the dude is constantly himself confused why he is here Like yeah, Sidious sucked, and this 6-9yo is way powerful and knowledgeable on the dark side (?????) But why are we going to the Jedi? And not even trying to kill them apparently?????
Anakin is very much being affected by Baby Brain and Baby Endocrine System. He cries a lot more than he should.
I WASN'T THINKING OF HIM BRINGING MAUL BUT YEAH. THAT'S. THAT'S A POSSIBILITY.
Jedi Council trying to decide if this is more "Adult Sith got shrunk" or "child got evil man's memories." Vader wants to know why it even MATTERS. (He didn't actually plan on telling them, but he has very little self control right now.)
The first Good Act he does is tell them where to find Ventress and Ky. (In the original timeline, he viewed Ventress as like. Cool older cousin.)
Vader's right, that distinction does not matter Aaaw, she deserves that, that's nice Maybe she will be like 20% less homocidally traumatized
Anakin is furious when Maul and Obi-Wan pick him up under one arm like a package. He is a GROWN MAN he is an ADULT he was a SITH LORD and about to be a FATHER, he is TOO OLD FOR THIS.
They point out that he is Baby.
😂 sorry lord of evil, you're too baby, have a nap and maybe your feel better. Assuming the crisis on Naboo is still happening, and as such the vote of no confidence is right now, it might be a great time to report Sidious as a Sith lord. Post-escape from Sidious, both he and Maul definitely will need a nap. It's that kinda place.
Oh, it's probably at least a year before. Anakin keeps trying to sneak off to kill the man himself, but the Jedi are more ready for his Sneaking than Mustafar was, so he keeps getting caught before he can reach the Senate.
At one point he tries to just CHARGE the place and you get Mace and Obi-Wan sprinting after him. The News captures videos of this very small child getting chased by an older Padawan and a Master and they are mostly yelling for him to PUT DOWN THE SABER.
(Sidious might see him but what's he going to do? Might cause too many problems for Sidious to be aware of Anakin's presence with the Jedi, though. Best not.)
It's probably more expensive on average to hire an assassin on a child, just in general But on a jedi youngling??? If he can even find someone to do that, it will be so very, ridiculously expensive And likely 70%+ upfront payments
Ahsoka definitely seeks him out. Toddler baby child. She adores him for reasons unclear to anyone and everyone.
!!! Baby has baby!! Vader's probably a little thrown by this. Been a while subjectively since someone just loved him. And not even for like, a reason. Baby Vader coerced into sitting obediently for nap by tired kiddo: [The council liked that]
The number of times that vader could only be convinced to nap by Obi-Wan grabbing him, caging him in his own lap, and forced to Sit Quietly until he just fell asleep like that...
He has things to do, he's not tired 😡😡😡💢 (He's 9. Distances are between 150 and 195% longer when measured with steps, he's hungry (subjectively) all the time, and has only middling coordination He so is too tired)
Anakin doesn't know Qui-Gon at all but he keeps getting stuffed into the man's top because he's just. Small enough to fit.
Like the bomb boobs gif, but it's a small child.
the indignity
You just. You can't let him get too self-important.
Vader is Disgusted every time the pediatric healers try to talk down to him like they do to other 6yos.
The difference between this and other "Vader goes back in time to the Jedi" AUs (like Force of Many Sights) is that this Vader has never been a Jedi, and doesn't know anything about them except how they fight when he's trying to kill their friends.
Also Maul's there.
Because even he has a hard time taking himself seriously when hes so easy to manhandle Rest of the time; I am fear, I am death personified As luggage child: I am so small. The tiniest. I crave violence He's probably very annoyed they keep taking away his saber And hey! Obi gets practice not losing his! Woooo!
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Something something Anakin clinging to Maul's back (piggy back ride) and chewing on his head or something stupid like that. Perfect height for head biting.
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You know, the classic anime head bite
Maul probably has been nominally talked into this because this 9yo is a powerful darksider But he is also the world's most annoying tiny kid Maul would've thought his phenotype would make him immune to this ridiculousness He was wrong At least the teeth are a bit less pointy than his other little brothers'? Appreciating the little things
tfw your unwanted little brother drags you to what you think is a cult but actually they're way less culty than your last two places so you just stick around to keep an eye on the little shit
Anyway. ObiMaul for this one.
They're peers They're tired They just want to sit down and not have to chase this weird little murder child They have a lot in common 😊
They are all just a little bit stupid, I love them.
Qui-Gon is a Cool Mom (throws condoms at them and books it).
Yeah, that's about as much involvement as would be appreciated They probably did a lot of sparring before the tension broke Which did not relieve said tension, generally made it worse (Competence, athleticism, sweat-) Vader is confused, but probably doesn't mind He's probably glad they're distracting each other from stopping assassinating a certain someone (Which- that is 9yo hubris. He would need help to do that)
I still can't decide where on 6yo-9yo he falls but somewhere in there
Babies means easier hiding in shirt, teenie Ahsoka, and longer for him to convince the Jedi council to do a Sith hunt before the Naboo situation
Also longer for Maul and Obi-Wan to faff about being all Tension
* Vaguely inspired by the backstory of Rulebreaker/Wildheart, which is great but significantly more of a romance fic than this.
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padawansuggest · 1 year
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Writing a fic where Jango wasn’t a willing progenitor because his family is still alive on Mandalore so Palpy did some fucked up shit to his brain and now the clones exist but one day while visiting home Jaster (who I love writing as force sensitive af) is all ‘my child has something weird in his noggin I’m gonna unravel it’ and now they know who the Sith Lord is and Jango is all ‘well. Now that that’s outta my brain-‘ and wanders off to tell the alphas that they can leave with their vod’e as soon as the Sith Lord is killed and the alphas being paranoid as they are are like ‘okay what do we give you in turn???’ ‘What do you mean this is a freebie’ ‘nothing is free prime, what do you want’ ‘lmao idk just babysit the Jedi they seem kinda stupid a little’ and the clones take that to mean ‘they are stupid and get themselves killed keep them safe’ and Jango doesn’t correct them cause this is hilarious and allows them to dig into the Jedi histories as much as they want only for them to come back all ‘ahh, yes, we see the senate has them in a chokehold and barely better than slaves living in a Diaspora being forced to their Will and their numbers have been steadily declining over the past thousand years. We see. They need help’ and Jango is all ‘…they fucking what???’ Only for the clones to already be fucked off to claim the Jedi as part of their people and no they will not be leaving sure you can try and run but we are here to help you sorta thing and Anakin is very eager for this, they saved all the slaves on Tatooine and saved his mom and stopped him from getting married cause if he gets married without Obi walking him down the aisle his master WILL cry about it and Plo and Shaak are repeating the gai bal manda to anyone they come across and it’s really very annoying and Mace shoved Kenobi at the sternest clones he could find saying ‘this one bites, he’s feral; tame him and win the prize’ and tbh they don’t know what the prize is but that sounds like fun and Obi is very annoyed at all times except when they pull him into their sleepy piles because that’s nice and yea he likes these dudes, they did not tame him tho he still bites he’s still feral at least they tried.
Anyways. Alpha 17 and Cody are the most annoying jerks ever who won’t let him run off into danger without them and Miss Shmi is awesome and disgusted by her son eating live bugs too so we no longer know where Ani gets it from that’s a shame and Mace is grounding anyone who adopts a clone or gets adopted by clones everyone is grounded. The Mandalorian empire is sorta peeking in like ‘wow. Are the Jedi okay??? They look a little annoyed??? But I haven’t heard of any of them getting murdered this week so probably???’ And it’s kinda hilariously adorable. The Mandos didn’t know they needed to worry about the Jedi and they’re super pissed at the Sith for hurting their prince’s brain and so yeah let’s join the clones they look like they’re having fun in the temple?????
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lieutenant-teach · 4 days
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How the debates about the Force helped to uncover the Sith Lord (Prompt: Fun)
A shore leave was supposed to be a time when people rest, Anakin was sure of it. Rest – means having fun. Having fun – means doing whatever you want. What Anakin wanted was stay with Padme alone for a couple of days. Unfortunately, she was away for some Senate stuff, so he was stuck with Obi-Wan’s meaning of ‘fun’. At that moment it was sitting on the cushion in a circle of several elderly Jedi and listening intently to a heated debate about the nature of the Force.
 – The Force can influence the way living beings act, otherwise why do we have prophecies of Chosen Ones? The Force chooses them, so it has an ability of acting, - insisted a frail Nikto Master, passionately waving his stick and barely holding on his feet even in a sitting position.
 – The choice matters! The prophecies are just possibilities, not certainties, - was an angry response from a tiny Jawa Jedi opposite him, her cheeping voice, surprisingly strong for such a small body, piercing the room and making Anakin wince. He signed and propped his cheek on his palm and the elbow on the knee, letting his gaze wander around the circle-shaped room. Colourful tapestries of complex weaving, depicting scenes of Jedi life, were hanging on the walls, the floor was covered with fluffy patterned rugs. The warmth of the sun, pouring through the fabric shutters on tall windows, painted the room and persons present in gold and brown hues and was a pleasant feeling on his back. Doziness was settling cozily over his lids, hazing his thoughts in a warm embrace…
A mental nudge almost pushed him off the cushion – not because it was powerful, just unexpected. Anakin jolted, held his balance and sent a glare to Obi-Wan next to him.
 – Anakin, it’s good for your knowledge, - his former Master whispered, barely moving his lips and visibly very into the debate and whatever ancient Master Sinube was mumbling from his place. Anakin didn’t know which theory the Cosian Jedi supported – nor that he cared. – You’re a Knight, but there’s still so much to learn. A Jedi studies all their life.
 – Ah, so it was studying when you were interested whether the brain worm would go into Master Unduli’s nose or ear, - Anakin couldn’t help from snickering. That got an indignant look from Obi-Wan, a huff and a turned away head. Anakin smiled and changed the hand and cheek.
 – The Force gives life to everything…
 – The Force is created by life itself, everybody knows it!
 – Anakin, please, - Obi-Wan bent to his ear, - would you mind at least close your shields, so your thoughts about Senator Amidala wouldn’t emanate around the room?
Anakin felt blush creeping up his cheeks:
 – There’s nothing wrong with it! I’m not a… prude.
 – Of course, nothing wrong with it, - Obi-Wan agreed placidly, - she’s a beautiful woman, but not everyone wants to sense your daydreams about her… - he faltered, selecting the right words, - lady parts.
 – Come on, don’t pretend you’re listening to that, - Anakin nodded at an exchange among almost all the Jedi present, talking excitedly at the same time and somehow managing to perfectly understand one another – not without the Force, probably. – I bet you’re dreaming about Commander Cody’s… manly parts, - he broke into a wicked smile, seeing faint blush rising on Obi-Wan’s face. At least some fun at these stupid debates.
 – Even if I wanted to do so, it would be unprofessional from my part...
 – Is it the only thing that stops you? – Anakin wasn’t sure what they were talking about anymore – Obi-Wan’s ‘dreams’ or reality. After all, an obvious mutual crush of General Kenobi and Commander Cody was a famous open secret of the 212th, though few would be stupid or insolent enough to tease them. Anakin counted himself as both and also having a privilege of being Obi-Wan’s former Padawan and the closest friend.
Angry hissing that sounded much like ‘Shut up, please!’ of an Anacondan Knight next to Anakin stopped the conversation, much to his dismay. Obi-Wan was clearly glad to convert his attention back to the debate, blush reaching the tips of his ears. ‘Bet Cody would’ve found it adorable’, - Anakin chuckled mentally.
Then he signed again, left with nothing to do. Shifted his eyes to the ceiling. To the rugs on the floor. ‘Mmm… an interesting pattern… Hey, I can see a speeder here!’.
 – One more symptom of a Darksider in the room – lower temperature! – squealed the Jawa Jedi, breaking Anakin from his intent studying the rug. – Add to the signs that they spoil the Force!
‘Funny… It’s always chilly in Palpatine’s office…’ – the thought breezed Anakin’s mind, and he froze for a second, then shook his head. Apparently, his brain had started melting after listening to that pointless debate.
 – Grab for power – that is the true sign! – the Nikto Master pointed his stick on the Jawa Jedi. – And never stopping! The Dark Side infects the recipient’s mind, making them want more – and it always leads to suffering in the process!
‘He’s got almost all the power of the Senate, and the Senators are absolutely fine with it. And he always declines negotiating with the Seppies. So the war cannot stop,’ – Anakin really didn’t like where his brain was going. The Supreme Chancellor was a good friend of his, a kind mentor, he always supported Anakin in all his ideas… Even stupid ones… Not like Obi-Wan and the other Jedi did…
 – All the sources and witnesses claim the Sith bring out the worst in everyone around them, - the Jawa Jedi stood up and put her hands on her hips. – It’s their own doing, not the Force’s!
Anakin sensed something weird next to him, emanating from Obi-Wan. He looked at him and immediately met widened horrified eyes, their owner obviously sharing the same train of thoughts with Anakin himself. ‘Come on, it’s Palpatine, he cannot be a Sith Lord. And he’s not Force-sensitive – otherwise the Jedi would’ve known’. Anakin almost reasoned with himself.
 – The Force changes around the Sith, - the Nikto Master wasn’t going to capitulate so easily, stomping his stick on the soft rug. – It becomes Dark, clouding everything, poisoning susceptible minds…
 – Right, because the Sith do it! – the Jawa Jedi squealed on the top of her lungs and shook off the hand of a Human Knight nearby who was trying to calm her down. – Or why do you think the most powerful ones could even pretend not to be Force-sensitive at all?
Shudder tremored through Anakin – his own and Obi-Wan’s. The young Knight was balancing on the edge of his cushion, watching and listening to the debates with attention he’d never know existed in him. The puzzle was coming together in his head.
 – When there is a war, then it’s surely to be a Sith Lord somewhere, - the Nikto Master scoffed. – The Dark Side feeds off pointless war and suffering. But you cannot convince me that the Dark Side doesn’t corrupt a being.
 – I’ll tell you what – you seem to be a Darksider yourself, blaming the Force for your failures! Because only a Sith would say such poodoo about how the Force works! – the Jawa Jedi jumped on the Nikto Master’s chest, the Nikto Master grabbed his lightsaber, shouting his protests in response. The closest sitters scooted back as the full-fledged duel started, Master Sinube happily clapping in support.
Not paying attention to the chaos, both Obi-Wan and Anakin jumped on their feet:
 – The Chancellor is a Sith Lord!
@jedijune
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david-talks-sw · 10 months
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Debunking more myths in the GFFA: the Jedi and the clones.
I wrote a post debunking the various myths about how "the Jedi condone slavery", a while ago. Something I had omitted (because it's such a big topic) was the following two statements that concern the clone troopers' relations with the Jedi:
"The clones were genetically bred to have accelerated growth, so they're technically child soldiers."
"The clones were slaves of the Jedi."
Both the above statements are inaccurate, let's explore why. 
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"The clones were child soldiers"
Let's get the easy one out of the way first, because it's a logic that cuts both ways. If age is our only determination of the maturity of a Star Wars character, then Grogu is not a baby. He is aged 50, and is thus a middle-aged man.
Who cruelly eats the babies of a woman...
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... and knowingly tortures animals for his own sadistic pleasure.
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Of course, I'm kidding. Grogu's none of the above things.
The narrative frames him as a cute baby who does innocent baby stuff. Him eating the eggs is played off as comedic, as is him lifting with the frog. To this day, some fans still call him "Baby Yoda".
Conversely, despite the clones being 10/14-years-old, their actions, behaviors, way of thinking, sense of humor, morals etc, are all those of an adult.
Like, Ahsoka is technically older than Rex in this scene.
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The scene doesn't portray them as peers, though. This isn't written as "a teen and a tween talking". No, Rex looks, acts and behaves like a grown-up and is thus framed as such by the narrative.
You can make the argument "they're child soldiers", but (unless you're doing so in bad faith) you'd also have to argue that "Grogu's an adult".
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"The clones were the Jedi's slaves"
Nope. For all intents and purposes, they're in the same boat as the Jedi, who George Lucas stated multiple times had been drafted to fight in the war.
Again: both the Jedi (monk/diplomats untrained for fighting on a battlefield) and clones (literally bred en masse only to fight) are being forced to fight by Palpatine and the Senate.
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Though, on paper, the clones were commissioned by Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas, it was actually done by the Sith (who either manipulated or assassinated Sifo-Dyas then stole his identity, depending on the continuity you choose to adhere to). The rest of the Jedi had no idea these clones were being created.
So while the clones are slaves... they're not owned by the Jedi.
They're the army of the Republic, they belong to the Senate. This isn't exactly a scoop, they refer to the clones as something to purchase...
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... and manufacture.
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As far as the Senate’s concerned, clones are property, like droids. 
Like there's a whole subplot in The Bad Batch about this very point: after the war, the clones are decommissioned and left out to dry because they literally have no rights, they served their purpose.
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The only trooper to ever canonically blame the Jedi for the clones' enslavement is Slick, who the narrative frames as having been bribed and manipulated by Asajj Ventress into betraying his comrades.
Also, the only canonical Jedi shown to ever be mean, dismissive or mistreating the clones in any way, is Pong Krell.
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And it's eventually revealed he’s in fact a full-on traitor, hence why the story frames him as an antagonistic dick from the moment he's introduced. He doesn’t represent the Jedi in any way.
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We know this because the other Jedi we’ve been shown are always prioritizing their clones’ lives over theirs, if given the chance.
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Finally, if we wanna get even more specific... as Commander-in-Chief of the Grand Army of the Republic (GAR), the clones belong to Palpatine. 
Palpatine who is a Sith Lord. 
Palpatine who arranged for the creation of the clones and had them all injected with a chip that would activate upon hearing a code-word...
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... and forced them to murder their Jedi without hesitation or remorse.
When you bear all that  ⬆️  in mind and when you read this quote by George Lucas...
"The Jedi won't lead droids. Their whole basis is connecting with the life force. They'd just say, 'That's not the way we operate. We don't function with non-life-forms.” So if there is to be a Republic army, it would have to be an army of humans."    - The Star Wars Archives: 1999-2005, 2020  
... narratively-speaking, everything falls into place.
Sidious knows that:
If he orchestrates a war designed to thin the Jedi's numbers, corrupt their values and plunge the galaxy into chaos...
If he wants to draft the Jedi - peace-keeping diplomats who’d never willingly join the fray - to fight in his war...
... then the only way they won't resist the draft and abstain from fighting is if they think joining the conflict will save lives.
So he creates a set of cruel, sadistic villains for them to face, opponents who will target innocent civilians at every turn...
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... and instead of lifeless droids, he prepares for the Jedi an army of men... living, mortal people who, despite being well-trained, will be completely out of their league when facing the likes of Dooku...
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... Ventress...
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... Grievous...
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... Savage Opress...
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... or the defoliator, a tank that annihilates organic matter.
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Thus, in order to save as many clone and civilian lives, the Jedi join the fray despite knowing that doing so will corrupt their values. 
And as the war rages on, a bond of respect is formed between the two groups.
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Clearly, the Jedi don't like the fact that the Republic is using the clones to fight a war, but for that matter, they don't like being in a war, in fact they advocated against it.
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However, it's happening regardless of their issues with the idea or personal philosophies. Said The Clone Wars writer Henry Gilroy:
"I’d rather not get into the Jedi’s philosophical issues about an army of living beings created to fight, but the Jedi are in a tough spot themselves, being peacekeepers turned warriors trying to save the Republic."
And bear in mind, the Jedi are basically space psychics, the clones are living beings that they can individually feel in the Force... 
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... so the Jedi feel every death but need to move on, regardless, only being able to mourn the troopers at the end of every battle.
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We see this in the Legends continuity too, by the way.
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(that is, when the writers actually try to engage with the narrative)
Also, if you ask the clones, they’re grateful the Jedi have their backs.
When Depa Billaba voices her concerns about how the war is impacting the Jedi's principles, troopers Grey and Styles are quick to make it clear how grateful they all are for the Jedi's involvement:
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So the clones aren't the Jedi's slaves. If anything, they're both slaves of the Republic (considering how low the Jedi's status actually is in the hierarchy).
Only I'd argue the clones have it much, much worse. 
The Senate sees the Jedi as "ugh, the holier-than-thou space-monk lapdogs who work for us"... but a Jedi has the option to give up that responsibility. They can leave the Order, no fuss or stigma. 
A clone trooper cannot leave the GAR! If they do, they’re marked for treason and execution. Again, they’re not perceived as “people”.
And it doesn’t help that the Kaminoans, the clones’ very creators, see the troopers as products/units/merchandise. A notion that the Jedi are quick to correct whenever they get the chance.
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How The Clone Wars writers describe the clones' relationship with the Jedi.
George Lucas hasn’t spoken much about this subject aside from the quote from further up. But to be fair... the Prequels aren’t about the clones’ dynamic with the Jedi, so it makes sense that he wouldn’t talk on that subject so much.
He did mention that part of The Clone Wars’ perks is that he could:
“Do stories about some of the individual clones and get to know them.”
But that’s as far as it gets. 
So for this part, I'm just gonna let Dave Filoni, showrunner of The Clone Wars and the upcoming series Ahsoka, and TCW writer Henry Gilroy - both of whom worked closely with Lucas - take the wheel. They make themselves pretty clear on how the clone/Jedi dynamic is meant to be viewed. 
Here’s Henry Gilroy:
"In my mind, the Jedi see the clones as individuals, living beings that have the same right to life as any other being, but understand that they have a job to do."
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"The clones see the Jedi as their commanding officers on one hand, but also, at least subconsciously, they look to them for clues to social/moral behavior."    
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"Some clones may find themselves getting philosophical leadership from the Jedi that helps them answer some of the deeper questions of life."    
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"We thought this was a great opportunity to show how the Jedi interact with clones. Specifically, Yoda in a teaching role of the clones, who were socially new, who kind of grew up— who were created to fight, and he really broadened their horizons and helped them realize there was a great big universe out there that was bigger than just fighting and killing."    
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And here’s Dave Filoni’s comments:
"I truly believe that the Jedi try to humanize their clones and make them more individual, as Henry says."    
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"I think we saw that in Revenge of the Sith, when the Clones were colorful and named under the Jedi Generals, and then in the final shots of the film with Palpatine and Vader near the new Death Star, the ships are grey, the color and life is sucked out. The Stormtroopers are only numbers and identified by black and white armor or uniforms in A New Hope." 
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"The soldiers have become disposable to the Emperor."    
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"That is something the Jedi would never do."    
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"Yoda teaching the clones much like he taught Luke. ‘Cause that was kind of natural for [the Jedi], a natural instinct to take to these clones like they’re students."    
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None of the above quotes from two different writers of The Clone Wars, who had many interactions with George Lucas, frame the Jedi and the clones’ relationship in a negative way. 
How much more proof do we need that "the clones were slaves of the Jedi” isn’t the intended narrative?
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My point being that while the clones' ordeal is indeed horrible, the Jedi have nothing to do with it. The narrative of The Clone Wars always frames it as the fault of the Sith, the Senate and the Kaminoans.
If you go by the intended narrative, the Jedi were the clones' teachers and brothers-in-arms. The clones and the Jedi were not just comrades.
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They were friends.
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princessbrunette · 9 days
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starwars!au — additional characters ୨୧
some people have been asking for more lore regarding my star wars obx universe, so here’s some more characters !!
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barry is a bounty hunter too. think more of a boba fett, but with a pirate background like hondo ohnaka. he keeps to himself, and is good at what he does — but when he hears of rafe coming along and taking you, the princess, a bounty that was promised to him for more credits than he’s ever known — he starts to look into rafe. will he come after rafe? or will they come together and form an alliance?
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big john routledge was one of the best jedi masters of his time. comparable to qui gon jinn, he often didn’t play by the councils rules but would often get away with it due to his impeccable fighting skill. a few years after the birth of his secret son john b, big john uncovers the secret that is ward being a sith lord. confronting who he thought to be the chancellor, the sith lord tells him that he has many trained sith watching his son, ready to take him out at a moments notice. if he wants to ensure his son lives, leave the council and never return. wanting to protect his boy, big john disappears without a trace — leaving his son to be raised by the council and trained as a jedi. john b has little memory of his time spent with his father, being only young when he left — but is raised on the amazing tales of him fighting for the galaxy. entering his early twenties — john b decides he is going to set out to find his father, who he caught wind of to be alive, and living on a far away desert planet undercover. whilst john b sets out on this journey, big john has been leaving his son clues across the galaxy to point him in the right direction of figuring out that ward is a sith, so perhaps his son can be the one to uncover the truth and expose him.
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cleo has lived many lives. never really having a family, the girl has jumped from being a mechanic and working on ships, to deciding she could be making a lot more money and seeking out bounties to make her name in the bounty hunting world. whilst she was raised to be cold and put herself first, her kind heart stops her getting what she feels she should want. when she runs into a group of jedi trying to save the princess (you), they help her out of a sticky situation and in return she tells them the information she has about the bounty on the princess. after this, she joins the group reluctantly on their wild adventures.
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carla limbrey, the witch of dathomir. when struck with illness, the witch is deadset on finding a cure. she’s tried everything, but now — for the spell to cure her, she believes to require the blood of a jedi, one pure of heart. she believes this to be john b, and therefore sends a team of witches and bounty hunters to track down the boy.
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topper thornton, a member of the senate alongside sarah. playing a similar role to clovis from the clone wars, he is desperately in love with sarah — but utterly controlling and overall gross. his constant attempts to silence her voice all whilst forcing himself to be in her proximity quickly get old. luckily, sarah isn’t afraid to put him in his place.
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loveoaths · 1 year
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i find it endlessly amusing that in canon, jar jar binks and maul are fundamentally opposites and yet in terms of life achievements, jar jar whips maul’s pointy ass by a standard mile???
consider: jar jar is a clumsy goofy son of a bitch who, by all rights, should have died 27 times by now simply by tripping over his own feet. instead, he is somehow friend of the jedi, a member of the galactic senate and representative for gungan naboo, regularly called upon to help with jedi/senate business that requires his connections and expertise, is dating a magic nympho bird queen, summoned an underwater caterpillar to gank some separatists just by being nice to it, helped stop the blue lily virus from spreading a pandemic to the entire galaxy, and is a goddamn war hero. jar jar is not always brave or smart but he is always kind, and his kindness and, frankly, his clumsiness, regularly get him out of trouble and save the day. jar jar always gets exactly what he wants COMPLETELY BY ACCIDENT.
meanwhile, maul is a super eloquent and talented apprentice and Sith Lord who: gets cut in half by a twunk and tossed down an evil elevator shaft, runs a crime syndicate but LOSES IT ALL, rules mandalore but LOSES IT because of his own actions, goes crazy in a hole for ten years, gets rejected by not one but THREE potential evil apprentices, and who genuinely tries extremely hard and always gets close to his goals, but is always thwarted at the last second by his own base impulses. everything he strives for turns to ash in his hands because he only knows how to burn.
can you imagine how pissed Maul would be if he tried to assassinate jar jar and FAILED? like maul is pulling out every stop in the book and jar jar is just tripping, pratfalling, and generally buggs bunnying his way out of everything, all while totally not knowing maul desperately wants to kill him. so badly. in fact jar jar thinks they’re best friends and is so chummy with him. it is humiliating.
maul’s greatest enemies in his life, from least to greatest, are obi wan kenobi, darth sidious, and jar jar fucking binks.
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rainintheevening · 2 months
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Hey, new Jedi blorbo alert!
Y'all ever met Sha Koon, Plo's niece???
She had a telepathic bond with her uncle, who was the one to bring her to the Temple, she was probably not much older than Obi-Wan, she fought in the Clone Wars while she had a padawan, and in the last couple months of the war, she was in a battle where almost all of her troopers and her padawan were killed, after which she returned to the Temple and said she was done fighting.
So Plo asked her to dig through the Jedi Archives for more information on Sith history, and assist in tracking the Sith Lord who was supposed to be in the Senate, and she was actually in the Archives when the Temple slaughter happened.
She escaped the initial purge, but then in Vader's sweeps through the Coruscant underworld in the ensuing weeks, she got lured into a trap and fought Vader, but he took her down. But before she died, she had a Force vision of Vader's redemption, and Luke and Leia's future impact on the Galaxy, and died at peace.
Like, oh my GOSH, this is a character I want a BOOK about. (She's a Prequels era comics character only.)
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awesomestarfighter · 5 months
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I Should Have Known Better Then To Debate My Brother On Star Wars But I Did It Anyway
That's a lengthy way to start a post, I know, but I'm in a very riled up mood right now.
I remember the first time I argued with him about this. Our family did a rewatch of the Star Wars series (prequels than originals) at my request (and I usually never get emotional, so they were very concerned when I started crying my eyes out during Order 66 and asking if we should stop) and afterwards we talked.
Since I'm an avid Pro Jedi fan, there was a lot of arguing about 'The Jedi could have done this/should have done this!'. A bit with my family, but mostly with my brother since we're an argumentative pair and he's the only one who's watched extra materials such as TCW to further why the Jedi failed/should have done more.
We had to agree to disagree, so it ended there. Now here I am years later, having already talked to him about why glorifying this particularly abusive M/F is not peak romance or good writing, what defines bad writing, and general amatonormativity, and since I'm back in a SW swing, I thought about bringing it up to him, hoping he'd gotten a little more flexible since the last time we talked about it.
Clearly, I was too optimistic to think that.
Cue the usual tangent of (which I've already seen from. . . So many fans):
-The Jedi should have known Palpatine was a Sith.
-They should have treated Anakin better.
-They should have made him a Master.
-They shouldn't have given him that advice about death.
-Obi-Wan wasn't ready for a Padawan.
-They should have investigated Sifo-Dyas's murder.
-They should have investigated more.
-That's just the way the story is written and how the characters would react in real life, so of course Filoni is a good viewpoint on the Jedi.
. . . And just the general, 'they should have done more' statement that's been uttered countless times before.
I tried to point out the flaws in this way of thinking, I really did.
-It's established right in TPM that the Sith have been extinct for a very long time, and they verbally acknowledge that they don't know whether the one killed was the Master of the Apprentice, so it wasn't like they just up and forgot about the enemy that could still be out there. And it's literally stated in the very next movie that their ability to use the Force has been diminished, so it's not like they could have seen the Sith in plain sight in the force. Minor note, I know Force Signatures are mentioned a lot in fanon, but I don't remember anything like that ever being mentioned in canon (I know there's Legends but that's a separate continuity). With all that to keep in mind, why would they think he was a Sith? We have a different view of things because we're the audience, but they don't! Even though they didn't magically know he was the Sith Lord, that doesn't mean they're blind to his dealings or the corruption within the Senate, unless I completely hallucinated the part where the Jedi Masters were on their way to arrest Palpatine even before they learned he was a Sith Lord.
-Questioning a kid to see how he would respond to your ways of life is not being nice enough apparently (people can debate about his trauma and the authorial intent all day, but the basis is that the Jedi are not supposed to be framed as the bad guys). Apparently adopting him and treating him as a part of their family just isn't enough. Clearly, they should have coddled him even more, maybe then he wouldn't have murdered them down to the last child! (This is sarcasm because they never treated him differently or anything, even the Chosen One thing is barely brought up, and all his darkest moments are ones the Jedi were never made aware of). I know people will just say to put him in therapy because I've seen them say that many times before, but the truth is that he's already in therapy with the Jedi, he just doesn't absorb any of it because he doesn't want to.
-Yeah, because an adult throwing a temper tantrum when he's been appointed to a leading authority by a shady government leader who should not have any authority over their organization isn't sketchy as fuck, that response alone proves he WAS not ready, because he still didn't understand what the Jedi were about, much less mastery of himself. My brother at least admitted that was a good point when I outlined it, so score for me, I guess.
-People give Yoda grief all the time for his advice, but they always seem to forget that, firstly, Anakin is asking this during a war they've been fighting for three years, one they've lost many friends and family to, and secondly. . . Anakin was really fucking vague when he brought this forward. He doesn't even specify who he's talking about isn't a fellow Jedi, clone, or otherwise (And I can't help but draw a parallel to how he didn't tell Obi-Wan about his visions of Shmi and people will blame Obi-Wan when Anakin's the one who can't bother to properly fucking communicate) and he doesn't listen because it's not what he wants to hear. He doesn't just want to save Padme; he wants to cheat death because he's possessive and greedy and doesn't want his loved ones to ever leave him. Yoda's advice was actually very useful, but since when has Anakin ever listened to good advice? Once again, my brother admitted that was a good point, so the second score went to me.
-I know fandom loves to portray Obi-Wan as this self-hating mess that's barely keeping it together (who also does a lot of medic dodging for some reason?). . . But that's not who he is in canon? The real Obi-Wan is controlled and capable, and he was a young adult when he was Knighted, not a kid, who went on to become the youngest member of the Council when he became a Master. It wasn't like he was left to teach Anakin alone, because he had the Order, and they're canonically big on communal teaching. Even just in the movies, we frequently see that Obi-Wan's the one who reaches out to Anakin and Anakin's the one who shuts him out. Obi-Wan was a great teacher, Anakin was just a shit student.
-The Jedi learned about Sifo-Dyas's unauthorized role in the creation of the clone army literally right before the war broke out, so it wasn't like they were in a position where they could look more into it. Even before that, they were under the impression that he died during a failed peace negotiation. My brother still said this even though there was a literal WHOLE ASS ARC IN TCW WHERE THEY INVESTIGATED HIS DEATH. He watched that arc to, and he still says they should have investigated his death even when they literally did. I have no words for such a contradictory way of thinking.
-I know it's easy to say stuff like that, but Star Wars isn't written for adults who want all the messy bits, but for kids for a good vs evil story, so of course investigation stuff is shoved to the side. Even in TCW where we do see them investigating, they're hampered by the Senate, by Palpatine, by the war, and by the narrative. Even ignoring that, Anakin literally said in ROTS that Palpatine was the Sith THAT THEY WERE LOOKING FOR, so that means they were investigating even though we didn't see it onscreen.
-Filoni. . . God just thinking about him makes me angry. I could write a whole essay on how he's twisted the narrative for Star Wars so badly, and I hate essays, but plenty of people have already done it better, so I won't.
-But still, I think it's hilarious that I can point out certain things he's written terribly (TCW, TOTJ, TTB, and Ahsoka) to show that he doesn't like the Jedi, and my brother is still saying, 'well that's just how the story is written and how the characters will react so he doesn't really hate the Jedi with that sort of evidence and blah blah blah.'
-Of course, for TCW, my brother brought up that stupid arc where AsHoKa iS pErSeCuTeD - I just think it's funny how, with trying to make his special oc look good and the Jedi Council unlikable, Filoni accidentally made her unintentional unsympathetic and made the dOgMaTiC lEaDeRsHiP unintentionally sympathetic. And of course, who could forget the infamous s7 moment of her not being fair to Obi-Wan? I know people will say she's a teenager and she's confused and she's still feeling betrayed - but the thing is, that doesn't hold up because the narrative never follows up on it. It's not a personal flaw of hers, it's solely there to frame Ahsoka (and Bo-Katan/the Mandalorians by proxy) as right and Obi-Wan (and the Jedi Council/Order by proxy) as wrong. I'm sure there are more examples that can be noted, but those are definitely two of the biggest offenses in my book.
-Tales of the Jedi wasn't even about the Jedi, it was about two specific individuals who LEFT the Jedi. One who went on to become invincible/immortal/a sanctimonious prick/even more of a mouthpiece then she already was, the other went on to become the undisputed head of an enemy who went full throttle on genocide, slavery, and war crimes. Mace's treatment and Yaddle's treatment was more poorly veiled racism and even more poorly veiled Jedi hate. And of course, the super special training from Anakin that allowed Ahsoka to survive Order 66 unlike those useless unprepared Jedi who were too soft on their kids - but really just made him look like an incredibly abusive parent. Frankly, while I do hate Anakin and can see him pushing too hard as in character, even I can see that it could have been written a lot better than it was. Tales of the Jedi was a fucking joke because it should have been titled 'Tales of The Super Special Creators Pet OC and the Asshole Who Falls And Spearheads A War', and if we ever get Jedi content that is actually positive for them without the usual criticisms coming up (Kenobi's the only one so far that's come the closest) I'll be throwing a fucking party.
-Of course, I have to point out TBB's whitewashing, consistently carried over from TCW except even whiter, though I forgot to mention how that show just completely fucking forgot the Jedi existed. Though frankly, I wouldn't want them to be mentioned in the utter waste of time that TBB is.
-Ahsoka was made into even more of a mouthpiece in her show then she already was. I didn't even watch Rebels in its entirety because I don't care for it, but even with some of the more frustrating decisions with her in that span of time she never said the Order wouldn't have fallen if they had just brought in more non-Force Sensitives to train them into being Force Sensitive (another part of canon that Filoni has fucking taken a hammer to) singing Anakin's praises after she's 'saved' by him (though even in Rebels it got pretty egregious how she just fucking abandons the Rebellion and the Jedi because she won't leave him again) just being a general fandom anti on how the Order was at fault for everything and Anakin was actually predestined to become a Sith (instead of defying his destiny by attacking Mace and siding with Palpatine as per Word of God) so everything he did was justified. All written and directed by Filoni, just as the other pieces where he's had narrative control will label the Jedi as arrogant, as forgetful, as unworthy, as not ENOUGH. And as soon as he can, he shoves them aside for characters who are 'to cool to be a Jedi, a cooler Jedi than those useless old Order jerks who spent too much time playing politics and being too stringent because they were cautious rule followers and not plucky rebels and weren't loving enough to poor widdle Anakin and -'
Though frankly my brother had some pretty ludicrous takes in general. There was this whole tangent we had about how since Rex removed his chip and voided death, that makes him gray/puts him in a gray zone. I just bluescreened at that, because while I've never cared for morally gray characters/storytelling, a character stepping out of their slated place in the narrative so obviously isn't gray it's not even funny, it's infuriating. While I know a part of me being a writer is what helps me look at stories more critically, it still makes me feel so confused how people will just take in bad writing or come up with bullshit takes like this. Whatever happened to thinking critically for the good of storytelling?
. . . I don't usually write my own posts (even though I'm usually better at wording things than actually voicing an argument as it started with my brother) because I prefer to just reblog stuff on my blog, I wrote this primarily as a vent post because my argument with my brother really got me stirred up, but I've been in a salty sw mood lately so it was kind of cathartic to get this out.
Also, if any Jedi anti or fan comes at me with 'but actually the Jedi should have -' no. Please just don't. I always try to tag stuff properly so people who won't agree will know what my blog themes are about, I'm never in the mood for the run of a mill gotcha takes that infest this fandom and I will not hesitate to block you if you come onto my post for that.
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gffa · 2 years
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As much as I would have enjoyed a Palpatine cameo in Andor, I love what his absence in the senatorial scenes shows. It shows that Palpatine has absolutely no regard for the facade of democracy any longer.  It shows that he has no regard for the system that he abused to get himself to where he is, he never did of course, but he at least said all the right words for it.  Now, he doesn’t even send a voicemail. It shows that, now that he���s gotten what he wanted, he never cared about politics, they were only a means to his end.  It shows, ala the post-credits scene, that he’s so hyperfocused on the Death Star as his expression of power, rather than through the political process, because for all that Palpatine is a master manipulator and had a lot of patience, he’s still a Sith Lord and the Sith cannot help themselves at the end of the day, they don’t want power that is mundane or that people can argue back against, they want power that is crushing, that literally steals the life from people. It shows that the galaxy is just a few short years away from Palpatine dissolving the Senate completely because his power is so complete over the Empire that he can get away with it, he’s been getting away with it for years, he’s been shedding every check and balance since the moment he stood up on that podium and declared the Republic dead and the Empire risen. His absence shows his complete disregard for everything Mon Mothma is fighting for, that even the illusion of democracy is too unimportant for him to bother with.  Of course that’s how he behaves right at the tipping point of the galaxy into Rebellion, he can’t even pretend to care about governing anymore.
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