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russellsppttemplates · 2 months

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Did you lose her? (Lando Norris)

Maybe it was never a change of heart

Note: english is not my first language. It's angsty with a happy ending, and it's also the first piece that's I've written that's based of a song, Stick Season by Noah Kahan. I hope I did it well enough! 🫶 also, it has smut, and if you have followed me for long enough, you know I don't usually do it, but I think it's these AUS pics 😮‍💨😌🥵

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Cw: curse words, previous break-up and themes related to that, smut (mentions protected sex, hormonal contraception, praise kink if you squint at the whole thing)

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

And I saw your mom, she forgot that I existed

Doing the food shop was one one of the mundane adult life tasks you actually enjoyed doing. You had some music on your ears and walked along the supermarket, making sure you weren't buying too much outside of your list.

Tomato sauce and two packets of the instant noodles for when you didn't feel like cooking or were in a rush, you told yourself as you browsed through the aisle.

The scent should've been the first give away, but lots of people wore the same perfume. However, not all of them had the characteristic underlying scent that to this day meant comfort.

"Y/N! I wasn't expecting to see you", Cisca said as he placed the item she took from the shelf on her shopping cart, "goodness, how long has it been since we've seen you?", she smiled sadly.

Five months, you thought. One hundred and fifty two days since you and Lando parted ways and you shipped your belongings back to England. You told yourselves it was amicable and that you'd still be there for eachother, but you had published your first article and he had started his season without the other by your side.

"It's been some time, yes. How are you?", you wondered, "we've been good, you know how busy it gets around this time of year. But Savannah had their little girl, Athena - let me show you a picture!", she scrambled her phone out of her bag.

"Oh, how cute!", you cooed at the little baby bundled up in a pink blanket, "Mila is such a good big sister, too!", she showed you a picture with the two of them in Lando's lap, the baby tucked safely into his chest as Mila seemed to be showing him one of her toys.

Gulping and swallowing the tears that threatened to fall, you looked up at her and smiled, "I'm glad everyone is doing good - send Oliver and Sav my congratulations!", you nodded, hoping she would get the hint.

Storing her phone back in her bag, Cisca smiled, resembling the smile that you woke up many times to, "I will, darling. All the best for you, hopefully we'll see you around", she said before rubbing your back soothingly.

You found an aisle without people and allowed yourself to cry. Just for a little bit before you had to go back to pretend it didn't hurt still.

And I'll dream each night of some version of you

That I might not have, but I did not lose

"I'm on the podium, dad!", Lando yelled as he hugged Adam, cackling in excitement as he hugged the team who were there to celebrate and congratulate him.

"Congratulations, baby!", you yelled as Lando turned to hug you, arms going around your waist and pulling you as close as the safety barriers allowed, clicking open his visor so you could look at your favourite eyes in the world.

"I love you so much, Y/N!", he yelled back, winking before he went up to get weighed in.

On the podium, he looked at you like you two were the only people there, smiling up at him as he blew you a kiss.

"I knew you'd be on the podium, baby", you smiled once you were back in his driver's room, "How are you so sure?", he wondered, kissing your neck soflty.

"The development they're doing, your talent, Lando, I knew it was going to happen, and from now on, you better get used to being up there every single weekend", you smirked, kissing from his throat to his jaw and up to his lips, humming when his tongue poked at your lips begging for entrance.

It was hot and he was sweaty. His phone read 4:30am as he stood up against the headboard, finding the light switch so he wouldn't walk around the hotel room in complete darkness.

It was the third night in a row you showed up in his dreams. The first time, it was subtle as he dreamed about flying on plane and he was sure you were there. The past two, however, had you in there as a main character. He dreamed of walking in the paddock with you, of having you there to comfort him and knock some sense in his head when his P4 in qualifying didn't feel enough, and now you were celebrating his podium.

It's weird how his brain went there, how his arms and face felt like they had truly been holding you despite not having done it in months. Muscle memory betrayed, he thought as he poured himself some water and took little sips of it as he looked outside the window.

Fuck, he missed you. And not just for these big moments where he was on a high and wanted to share it with you or when he was do low you were the only person that could make him crawl out of the dark hole he snuck himself into. It's when he's making his bed back home and the other pillow remains fluffed because no one's using it, it's the mug you left behind and he doesn't have the courage to send back to you or give to someone else or when he sees something that reminds him of you and he gets it, hoping one day he can get them to you.

You once called me forever, now you still can't call me back

Lando sighed again as the call went to voicemail. It was the third time it happened in the last couple of hours. It was media day at Suzuka and they were having lunch.

"You know it's 3 am back in England, right?", Oscar asked bluntly, "when we were having breakfast, sure, you might have got hold of her if she was doing a late night, but I think you should wait", he reasoned.

Oscar was right. He didn't want to risk it waking you up even though he was sure your phone was on silent since you loved your sleep dearly.

"I hate this", Lando muttered, rubbing his forehead with his fingers. Oscar was aware of some of what had happened between Lando and you. The start of the season always came with new gossip and this one's was filled with rumours and conspiracy theories about the paddock's sweetheart and young couple.

Lando started driving in Formula One when he was nineteen, so they had seen his grow up through the years along with your relationship. At first, you were pinned down as his sister, then a best friend when they realised you didn't share genetics, and then you were his girlfriend. The lingering touches and big smiles they caught never rushed you to admit your feelings or put a label on your relationship, but everyone was there when you walked hand in hand on the paddock and confirmed the suspicions they had for months. Lando Norris and his best friend were in love and they all felt like proud parents as they watched you support him unconditionally every time you could.

"Did you lose her?", Oscar quesioned his team-mate as he picked on the food on his plate.

"I don't have her with me, have I?", Lando snapped and regretted it almost immediately.

Oscar put it down to tiredness, jet lag and the fact that he seemed a bit lost on how he was navigating the situation, "What I'm saying is, did you lose her? Did you do your absolute best to keep her with you?", he said sternly, "Used all of the options and possibilities and it still didn't work out? You don't lose someone because things fell apart in a stressful situation", he reasoned.

He was young but not dumb, truly.

"Feels like I have though", Lando added.

"What I'm saying is if you really want to know how she is and if you want to have an honest conversation with her, you have to make an effort. Not just calling and asking your mother to see if she's spotted her lately, or your sisters to check in your circle of friends whether or not she has moved on", Oscar lectured.

"Do you think I can do it? Do I have what it takes?", Lando confessed his doubts out loud. One of the reasons he had yet to act on it was because having a second chance wasn't for everyone and he needed to make sure it went perfect. You deserved that.

"You're a Formula One driver with deep pockets and a massive heart that still belongs to someone. What can't you do?", the young australian driver mused before he got up, taking his plate with him and leaving Lando pondering about what to do next.

I hope this pain's just passin' through

You sang loudly as you dusted the living room shelves, windows open to let the autumn air in. While cleaning wasn't your favourite thing to do, you had woken up with an urge to clean and given that it happened very rarely, you were taking it in stride.

So far, you found a receipt of a pair of jeans you were meant to return but gave your friends instead, a concert ticket and a bigger amount of dust than you'd like to admit. When you pulled the fabric strap, though, you knew that you wouldn't want to get rid of it. The lanyard belonged to one of the passes for one of the Grand Prix weekend you went to see Lando. Inspecting it closer, you realised it was his second home race, the Polaroid picture attached to it confirming the date.

It started with you joking about the fact that the pass was not the prettiest, so Lando hunted down the paddock to find a Polaroid camera, snapping a picture of you two and pinching a hole on it so you could carry it around and cover the supposed ugly pass. The photo was still intact, just a little dusty as you wiped it with your sleeve. Lando was kissing your cheek as you smiled impossibly big, eyes squinty and smile beaming because of the guy whose lips were on your cheek.

A single teardrop fell on the plastic covered paper before a few more followed as you sat down, looking at what you had once been and how things were right now. The missed calls on your phone led you to believe that maybe he still felt something too, but the potential heartache of trying again and it not working would hurt more than it already does.

The vibration from watch caught your attention as you read the two notifications. One from your e-mail with Qatar Airways written in bold and a text from Lando.

Qatar Airways

Thank you for choosing to fly with Qatar Airways!

Lando ✨️

I need you here with me, Y/N, please

I made the flight reservation for you, they will hold the ticket until two hours before the flight leaves, you just have to confirm with your passport ❤️

You promised me that I was more than all the miles combined

Heathrow Airport, 7th October 2023, 6:30 am.

You couldn't back out now, that would mean Lando would lose the money he spent to get you here in the first place. It wasn't by all means quiet, but your thoughts were loud enough.

You shouldn't be here. Why were you here? Why did you accept this, Y/N?

Because Lando needed you there.

Simple as that.

Boarding the flight, you smiled and thanked as the flight attendant pointed to the area where your seat was and where you would spend the next six hours and a half.

"I'm sorry, our seats are by the window", a woman in her thirties said as she bounced a little girl on her hip, making you get up so she could get to it, "thank you", she smiled, sitting down and buclking herself and her daughter to her body.

"Lyla, you can't go pulling on other people's clothes - I'm so sorry", she apoligised as the little girl pulled on your shirt's detailed button buckle.

"No worries, I know how restless they can get. You do the best for your baby. You're only responsible for yours and her emotions, no one else's on this plane", you offered her, remembering the times you would take flights and fully grown adults would go up to a stressed parent to let them know they could hear their crying child as if the parents themselves didn't know.

"My husband is somewhere in there, too", she chuckled, sometimes I feel I'm responsible for his too - accountantable in a way at least", she chuckled.

"You weren't able to sit together?", you wondered.

"My husband planned the weekend to go watch a race and come back, but we found some holiday days and we decided on a spontaneous trip. This was the only seat left they had", she explained.

"I can change seats if you want", you offered, "I'm flying on my own and I'll get to the destination all the same", you giggled.

"You wouldn't mind?", she asked, relief settling over her as she tried to see her husband, waving at him to come closer as you touched the button to call the flight attendant as the passengers were all sat down on your section.

"This lovely young woman says she doesn't mind switching seats with you", she said to her husband as you spoke to the flight attendant.

"No, there's no problem with that if you both agree", the flight attendant smiled as you got up, ignoring the frown on the man next to you who had to get up so you could swap, "bye bye, Lyla!", you waved at the little girl before her parents thanked you once again.

Finding your new seat, you put your bag under the seat in front and sat down, excusing yourself to the older couple next to you, "I just swapped seats with the gentleman that was here, I'm sorry", you smiled, hoping they wouldn't be too mad.

"Oh, he was able to sit with his family after all - I told you, Harold!", the lady winked at her husband, "I'm Francesca, you can call me Fran", she said sweetly.

Despite the early flight, they both seemed to be full of energy as they started telling you stories of their life and family, showing pictures of their kids and grandkids.

"One day you'll have all of that with the person you love, darling - if that's something you want, of course!", Harold peeped in, "our granddaughters are always telling me not everyone wants the same things!", he chuckled softly.

"It's okay - I would like that, actually", you smiled sadly as Francesca landed her hand on top of yours.

"Why does that sound like a confused heart, dear?", she commented, reading you like a book. The flight was closer to be three quarters of the way to the destination, so you still had some time to kill.

"A little bit; I'm actually flying over to see the person who still has this confused heart", you mumbled.

"Your eyes sparkle when you talk about him, dear - something tells me he's going to 'unconfuse' your heart", she smiled, "tell me about him".

"Godness", you chuckled, "He's kind, respectful, honest, goofy, cute, charming, loving, he's all that is good. We just lost our way, I think", you recalled, smiling at the thought of him.

"You'll find it back, dear. Life has mysterious ways but it has the right ways - I like to believe it does, anyway", the older lady assured, squeezing your hand in hers.

Waving goodbye to Harold and Francesca when you found the taxi bay, you requested to be taken to the paddock.

When you got there, you payed the kind driver before he helped you take your suitcase from the boot, "enjoy the race!", he smiled.

You were thankful all eyes were on the track already, making you cross the whole paddock and step into McLaren's hospitality quickly after collecting your pass.

"Y/N!", Zak said as he was the first person to spot you, "you're here, you came!", he smiled, hugging you tightly, "we're all very happy you're here", he said as he asked one of the team members to store your suitcases somewhere appropriate before leading you to the corridor to the drivers' rooms.

"Lando is inside, and the race starts in less than ninety minutes, so you won't talk all you need to, but it's a good start", he said, knocking on the door before he left.

When Lando heard the knock, he hoped it was you. Sophie and Oscar were great people, but in the last hour, everytime he opened the door, theirs were the faces he saw instead of yours.

"Y/N", he welcomed you into his room before closing the door, "I hope it's okay that I flew you here, thank you for coming", he said as he hesitated on giving you a hug.

Taking a step forward, you laced your arms around his waist as he did the same around your shoulders, inhaling eachother's scent and feeling like a weight was lifted off both of you, "I missed you so much, Y/N", he whispered before you pulled apart.

"It's not the first time you've done that for me", you fumbled with your hands, "although I was very surprised. We haven't spoken to eachother in some time, Lando", you sterned.

"Not because I didn't try", he bit bat with an ironic chuckle, "Why did you come here then?", he defended, taking your words as immediate offense and not taking a second to process them properly.

"Because even though we're not together anymore, you matter to me. I care about you! I'm not sure what monster you depict me as or that you imagine I've turned into, but I wouldn't dream of wishing you misery! If you call me and tell me you need me here, I'll be here because I care about you!", you snapped, "you have no idea how many times I wanted to give up and cancel this! Why am I here, Lando?", you asked.

You didn't expect him to react that way, not that you had a much better reaction anyway.

"Fuck, this is not how we do this", you took a deep breath as Lando held your hands in his, mimicking your movements as he did the same. Three long deep breaths, in and out, in and out, in and out.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that", Lando began, hands laced on yours still, "thank you for bring here, I needed you here because there's no one else in the world that can make me feel comfortable like you do, and I need that. I need to feel like myself - and I know it's a selfish ask to make you get up and drop your things to be here with me but-", you interrupted him.

"It's okay, Lando, you're okay", you cooed, searching for his eyes and hoping you'd get the message your mouth was failing to say through.

You pulled him to sit in front of you in the massage table, "I've been seeing all the podiums you've been getting - the team have done such a great job developing, and your talent and skills have brought it to the podium", you tried a lighter subject even though you were 99% sure of his worries.

"Oscar still qualified above me", he began, "He's a rookie and he's managed to do in months what I haven't done in five years", he allowed himself to express his feelings. After all, it was you.

"Oscar is not driving a tractor like you were", you shrugged your shoulders as Lando laughed.

"For someone who was invited last minute and got a pretty good pass, I'm not sure how the team would feel about you talking like that", he smirked, hand finding your own as he rubbed his thumb on your palm.

"I'm only telling the truth", you smiled, "and I mean it. I know how this sport works, but you shouldn't compare yourself to your teammate when the circumstances are so different", you mused.

"The team have been great and they still haven't said anything", he reasoned.

"Of course they haven't because it's something that happens, Lando. I was watching the highlights and so many drivers went over the limits because that's how this track goes", you stated, "there's only so much you can do and you shouldn't put all that pressure on yourself", you tsked, "I know you do, but you shouldn't", you smiled.

"You always know what to say, don't you?", he chuckled, "I have an inkling on how this here works", you winked and tapped his head with your free hand.

A knock on the door interrupted your moment as Jon opened it right after, "Lando, we need to start prepping for the sprint", he said before he turned to you, "Hi Y/N, good to have you back!", he smiled before he let you finish what you were doing.

"I should go, then", Lando trailed off, "are you going to browse around the paddock? I bet a lot of people miss you and your face here", he nudged.

"I came here for you, I don't care about anyone else", you smiled as you leaned over to press a kiss on his cheek for a few seconds, smiling against his warm skin before grabbing your bag and walking out.

Most of the team must've known you were coming since not many of them took a second look whenever you greeted them or entered a different area.

One of the media girls got you a set of headphones as she stood next to you, Oscar and Lando getting ready to go to the track.

His routine hadn't changed as your eyes followed him while he got dressed appropriately and safely for the race.

Before Lando put his helmet on he looked back at you, winking and smiling when you winked back.

When the gap wasn't closing in, you knew Lando would be disappointed with P3, not because of the place itself but because his team-mate had done better.

As you moved to a better spot to watch the interviews on the media pen, your heart felt like someone was using it like a trampoline, jumping and stomping on it as Lando spoke about himself with such a negative tone.

Surely, the interviewers were fishing for answers with biased questions and his mind took him there.

As you waited for him to be back to the hospitality, you got yourself something to eat, realising you hadn't done it since the plane.

Lando was beating himself up and he couldn't shake the bad mood he was in even when he thought you had travelled to see him and be there for him.

As Sophie gave him a quick debrief about his interviews, he stepped into his driver's room so he could have a quick shower and then head to the team debrief.

"It wouldn't hurt going up to her, you know?", Jon told him, ready to take any harsh words first if it meant you didn't hear them.

"I know it wouldn't, I'm just going to eat something and then I'll join the debrief with the rest of the team", Lando mumbled as he walked up to you.

"Hey", he said sitting down on the sofa next to you.

"Hey, Lando", you said, testing the waters and approaching his body until you rested your head on his shoulder.

"You are going to get your win, Lando. It's going to be an amazing weekend and it's going to be your first. Surely important, but you'll be a race winner and go on to the next race", you said as he seemed to be unsure of the tone you were going for, "as that will be a big moment in a long career - because it won't define it - this doesn't define you either, as a person and as a driver", you concluded, hoping to bring a little bit of his confidence and self-esteem back up a little.

"And you're going to be there?", he asked. He was feeling like shit and needed to know. It wasn't fair, but he needed to know.

"I can't make promises like that, not before we speak properly", you remarked, looking up at him from where you were, kissing his cheek and squeezing his hand in yours, "do you want me to stay here or should I go back to the hotel?", you asked. It wasn't the right time or the right place to talk about it.

"Could you stay here, please?", he said as you took your book out of your bag, knowing it would run long and you'd need some entertainment as there was only so much catching up you could do with the team when they're suppose to be working.

"I will, then", you said as Lando took the plunge and kissed the top of your head.

Ten chapters and a tea later, Lando tapped your shoulders, "I'm finished, are we ready to go?", he asked as you got up accepting his hand to hold as you walked out of the hospitality, grabbing your suitcase from the storage room and bidding goodbye to the team.

"I couldn't get a separate room for you, but the room I'm staying in has this living room area and the sofa opens into a bed, they said it's really comfy and they also left an extra mattress topper and some blankets", Lando said as he drove, "in case you didn't feel comfortable, I- I just want you to feel comfortable", he emphasised nervously.

"Lando, you don't need to walk on eggshells, okay? It's me", you smiled reassuringly as he stole a quick look at you before focusing back on the road, "sounds like a nice solution, fine by me", you reassured him.

Leaving the car to the valet and taking the lift up with you, you stayed silent until you were inside the hotel room, "That's the bedroom area, bathroom's here - and it has a double sink - and then the living room", Lando patted the extra linen folded on the sofa.

"Thank you", you assented, "would you like to talk now or is it bad timing? You must be tired f,-".

"Yes, please", he agreed immediately sitting on the sofa and making room for you to sit in front of him.

"I don't know where to begin", you observed after a while, "it's been tough being without you - I have been so used to having you there for me and to be there for you that nothing quite has the same meaning. I can live without you - barely, but I can -, that's not the question, but I don't want to", you manifested.

"We ended things because we had to, and it did us both well to see from another perspective - that's what it felt for me anyway -, but I want to be with you and to have you with me", he elaborated, "I don't care if you have to spend more time back home because of the distance, or come with me to the races because of the distance, too, I-".

"It was never about the distance, Lando", you interjected. You both used that excuse way too many times but deep down you knew it wasn't because of it.

"We'll work it out then", Lando suggested, "we'll work on us because knowing eachother doesn't mean we don't have to put ourselves first and keep investing on our relationship. I value you so much Y/N, I love you so much and I want to do this right", he whispered as if he spoke any louder would disturb the moment.

"I love you too", you smiled as you laced your hands together, "we'll work on it, together".

It was already late so Lando offered you the bathroom so you could shower and do your night routine first and then make the sofa bed to your liking while he did his night routine.

"Good night, angel", Lando said after you hugged him goodnight, kissing the top of your head before letting you lie down first since the light on his bedside table was the only one illuminating the room.

After you cocooned yourself in the sheets comfortably, you spoke up, "Lando, I'm sorry I didn't answer back sooner", you apoligised.

"It's okay, love, you don't have to worry about that", he cooed softly and you could hear the smile on his voice.

"I know it's not, but thank you for making me feel better about it, goodnight", you smiled, feeling hopeful about it.

The next morning, you were woken up by the noise coming from the bathroom, assuming Lando was showering inside as you stretched, surprised at how well you slept. Maybe the bedding was genuinely nice, the sofa bed wasn't bad to begin with, especially considering the hotel you were staying in, or maybe it was the fact that for the first time in months, you fell asleep knowing the person who your heart belonged to was more than happy to let you keep his, too, and he was in the same space as you.

"Good morning, beautiful", Lando smiled as he noticed you were awake already, "did you sleep well?".

"Good morning, Lan", you yawned, "I did, really well, actually. At what time do we have to be at the track?", you wondered. It was a night race, so the call up was later than usual.

"I'm leaving after breakfast, but you can stay and head there later if you want", Lando declared as you walked up to him, "I just need to freshen up and get ready", you smiled, kissing his cheek and heading for the bathroom with your clothes.

As soon as you arrived at the track, you took one of the back entrances as you knew Lando would spend some time with the fans and other drivers he bumped into, finding a nice spot on the lounge and going back to your book.

"I'm going to start race prep", Lando stopped by you in the lounge after a quick meeting, "I probably won't talk to you much until afterwards so I just came to check on you", he reasoned.

Getting up, you moved to one of the corridors, leaning up to kiss his forehead softly, "Good luck, my love, you're going to do so well, I know it", you smiled against his skin.

"I have my lucky charm with me", he smirked, kissing the top of your head before he got back to Jon.

From P10 to P3, Lando had an eventful race. Fortunately, and compared to the rest of the grid, he seemed to be doing fairly well as he stood in front of AC Units while replenishing the water he lost during the fifty-seven laps.

"I'm so proud of you!", you cooed as he got back to the garage, shaking hands with all the mechanics and engineers before he got to you. You hugged his sweaty body, not caring about it as long as you felt his close to you.

"They're postponing race debrief so I'm going to shower quickly and then we can get going, beautiful", he smiled, kissing a spot on your cheek very close to your lips.

Smiling giddily, you went to the bar area to get a bottle of water for yourself as Sophie walked last you, "seems like we will be seeing a lot more of you again soon - maybe Zak can also hire you as our lucky charm!", she winked as you shook your head, blood rushing to your cheeks at her words.

Back in the hotel room, it was your turn to freshen up and get ready to sleep. The spirits were high and you were feeling like the wait time was over. Your heart was healed enough as you sat on Lando's bed, "I'm so proud of you, you had an incredible drive tonight", you smiled as you moved closer to him as he sat on the edge, back against the headboard and one leg on the mattress while the other hung beside the mattress.

"It felt so good", he smiled, "thank you for supporting me", he cupped your cheek as he silently asked you for permission to kiss your lips. Lando couldn't waste anymore time as he pulled you to him so he could kiss you properly, your legs on either side of his as you straddled him, revelling in the feeling of being in eachother's hold as your hands played with his hair while his held your waist.

"As much as I'd love to continue this, I'm exhausted, baby", he rubbed your thighs, "it's okay, my love, I wasn't thinking of letting you do anything else anyway", you smiled, kissing his nose softly before you got on one knee so you could flop to the side and land on the mattress.

"Sleep here, yes?", he mused and you nodded, undoing the bed and getting under the sheets, his arm holding you to him and making sure he didn't let go.

As if you'd leave anyway.

4.30am and Lando woke up again. This time however, the sight he longed to see was right there. The you he had and had got back, cuddled up to his chest as your leg was hoisted up on top of his own and very close to his aching cock.

As he tried to change the angle so every time you moved, your smooth skin wouldn't pratically tease him, you stirred in your sleep, eyes opening as he tried to adjust your knee.

"Is everything alright, baby? Am I hurting you?", you said as you recoiled from his body.

"No, angel, no!", he quickly guaranteed, "I'm sorry I woke you up, it's just that your knee was very close to me and I was having a hard time dealing with it".

"A hard time indeed", you snickered as you felt his hard-on strained on his Calvin Kleins. Dating after being friends for so long brought an easy joking side to your relationship so much easier and funnier as you wouldn't get offended with most of what you said to eachother, "need help with that?", you smirked.

"But I wanted to treat you", Lando pouted, "Can I, gorgeous girl?", he whispered as he kissed up your neck once you whispered "yes", hands roaming on your body as he pulled up your nightshirt, finding your nipples and twisting them slightly to work your body up the way you did with his.

Your sighs and whimpers let him know he was doing a good job as undressed your torso, littering small kissed from your throat to your tummy, "you're so gorgeous, Y/N, I can't believe you're mine", he said as he blew a raspberry on your tummy, earning giggles from you before he licked up a stripe near your panties line.

"You know how much I like it when you wear your pink panties", he voiced as he touched you over the cotton fabric, feeling you pulsate already, "Do you like it when I tease you over your pink panties, baby?".

"Yes", you scrambled out betwen moans and deep breaths, "Oh my Goodness, princess", he cooed as you squirmed, "You want me to fill this pussy up?", he wondered as you let out a yes followed but a deep mewling sound.

"Let me take a little peek, then", as his fingers pushed the fabric down, a string of wetness caught in the material as he smiled, "Oh my Goodness, look at this pretty little pink pussy", he kisses your clit, "all of you, you're se beautiful, baby".

Rubbing the inside of your thighs with his thumbs, pressing the soft skin as he got rid of your underwear, "Are you going to let me fill you up?", he asked as he wouldn't do it without consent.

"Yes, please do it, Lan", you moaned, hand looking for his own to hold.

"You don't need to say please, my love - here", he whispered as he laced your hands together, "you'll always have me, you hear me? I'm yours, sweet girl", he smiled.

His hand that wasn't securely laced in yours helped you take his underwear off before he came back up to kiss your lips softly.

"Does it feel good when I tease your clit like that, gorgeous?", he smirked as he ran the tip of his cock in your sensitive bud, "Yes - uhg, baby", you gasped, looking into his eyes and swearing you could get lost in them had you not been in such a state of arousal as you were.

"You look so pretty like this, my beautiful, sweet girl", he praised as he saw your twitches and heard your moans at his words, "we need protection, though", he stated.

"I'm good, didn't see anyone else - you?", you wondered as he shook his head, "didn't see anyone else either - condom?", he asked, making you nod and separate so he could get it from his toiletries bag. Hormonal contraception left you feeling worse that it made your life easier, so you and Lando always used condoms.

Rolling it down his shaft, Lando climbed back in the bed and kissed your lips, adjusting himself before he entered you.

You whimpered as Lando slid inside you, a low groan escaping from his throat as he gently slid, taking your hand back in his and resting them next to your head on the pillow.

"You feel so good for me, sweet girl, so wet so warm, so good - aah", he breathed out, "so tight, my sweet sweet girl", he squeezed his eyes shut at the feeling of your walls squeezing him.

You stretched your arm out enough to pull his face closer to yours, kissing his jaw and then his lips before whispering "you can move, love".

Lando pulled back slowly, thrusting in gently to begin with and savouring how you felt around him.

"I love you", you muttered into his neck between moans as he picked up the pace, thrusting into you faster, harder and deeper.

"I'm close", Lando groaned as he felt your walls clench around him, his hand crawling between your bodies and drawing lazy circles on your clit to get you to your release.

"Me too, feels so good, I feel so good", you moaned out, a high pitch one particularly when you felt the band was about to snap.

“My sweet girl, my beautiful sweet girl, are you going to come for me?”, Lando worked you up as your body started to show signs of it, "let go, my love, I'm here, I've got you”, he soothed, still gently rubbing your clit with one hand and keeping hold of the other.

Your back arched, sensitive nipples rubbing against his skin, as you came with a high-pitched whine, nuzzling your face on his thick neck as you came undone around him. Lando came soon after, his hand that was not holding yours groping your waist as he groaned.

“Good, sweet girl, that was good, you did so well for me. I’ve got you, it's okay", he assured as he felt you flutter around him, probably from overstimulation considering neither of you had been with anyone else and you hadn't slept a full night yet, the tiredness he felt also a cause for how quickly he finished.

Lando kissed your forehead sweetly before he pulled out, getting up and throwing out the condom on the bathroom bin before he cane back to you on the bed.

"Let's put this on, yeah?", he whispered soflty as he helped you put on his linen shirt, buttoning it enough to let you breathe but still feel hugged by the fabric, and then a clean pair of underwear he got from your suitcase.

Before he laid in bed with you again, he put on his own underwear, pulling you to his arms and then pulling the crisp white covers over you.

"Do you feel good, baby?", he asked once you were cuddled up to him, "yes, I do", you smiled, a mixture of post sex glow and being back in his arms.

"Thank you for not giving up on us, I love you, sweet girl", Lando said as he played with your fingers, bringing them up to his mouth so he could kiss every single one of them, "you're the best thing in my life", he mumbled, letting you drift off to sleep.

#lando norris imagine #lando norris fluff #lando norris smut #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 smut #f1 fanfic

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crumb · 4 months

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please tell me you guys watched that video Noah Schnapp put out trying to backtrack and save his pathetic career. Please listen very carefully to the language and words he uses. He's choosing his wording VERY carefully in order to save his career and try to pacify those who support Palestine without actually denouncing genocide or zionism. "I feel my thoughts and beliefs have been so far misconstrued..." babe you were yelling from ig post to ig post about being pro israel, calling Palestinians terrorists, and being a proud zionist. How has that been misconstrued?? "I only want peace and safety and security for all innocent people affected by this conflict" He makes sure to use the qualifier 'innocent' several times in the video when referring to Palestinians, victims of a genocide not a conflict. But as we know, zionists don't see Palestinians as innocent so who is he talking about? This kind of tentative language helps him try to appear like he actually cares about Palestine while still condemning hamas without addressing the actual root of the issue—israel and the IOF. "We all hope for the same things..." Do we? You're a zionist. Zionism is settler colonialism and based in white supremacy. Please be more specific on what you hope for. "...That being, those innocent people being held hostage in Gaza be returned to their families. And equally hope for an end to the loss of innocent life in Palestine..." Zionists LOVE to go on and on about the hostages without mentioning the very real danger those hostages face from israel and the IOF bombs themselves. Israel is carpet bombing Palestine indiscriminately when they very much have the tech to make extremely detailed and targeted attacks. Did you see the way they targeted the specific apartment unit in Lebanon? In Gaza they're wiping out whole city blocks. Israel and the IOF don't actually care about the hostages. If they did they wouldn't be razing Gaza and boasting about their plans to use the land for beach condos. If israel and the IOF actually cared about israelis, why are they basically using the Hannibal Directive? Especially at the music festival on October 7th where the IOF killed a number of their own civilians. If israel cared about the hostages, why aren't they willing to release the hundreds of Palestinian hostages they have who are being jailed illegally and without charges? 'oh but they did! They released some during the pause so they could get hamas to release some israeli hostages' yeah and then the IOF rounded up and captured more Palestinians than they released that very same day. "...I think anyone with any ounce of humanity would hope for an end to the hostility on both sides. I stand against any killing of any innocent people" Once again with the manipulative qualifiers 'both sides' and 'innocent people'. How can you expect an occupied people who have been living through apartheid and genocide for 75 years to not eventually fight back? To not understand why October 7th happened you have to be either completely uneducated about even the most basic history of Palestine and/or so deeply entrenched in propaganda and denial that it doesn't even matter if you do know about the history because you truly believe you deserve an ethnostate on a piece of land that has inhabited several diverse groups over thousands of years. It was never a land of 1 singular homogeneous group. To want it to be that, is actually insane.

#noah schnapp #palestine #stranger things

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albertasunrise · 4 months

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Hope - No Hope

Masterlist

Summary: After Joel loses his wife and your best friend during childbirth. You support him as he takes on parenthood on his own at 22. But when feelings start to develop, you battle with the guilt you feel for falling for your best friend’s husband.

Relationships: Joel Miller x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3 I choose to give none. Read at own risk. 18+… this is to avoid spoilers! (I am so sorry this has taken so long. As many of you know I am expecting my first baby and the little miracle has been draining the lift out of me 😂 but I am getting over that now and so I will be updating my fics over the coming weeks 🥰 hope you enjoy!)

Series Masterlist - Part 1, Part 2

One year later...

Weekends at yours with Alec grilling had become a tradition. Noah and Sarah still adored each other and were practically joined at the hip at this point. You'd been with Alec for over a year. Moving it with each other not long after getting together Joel had been left to try and pull himself out of the dark hole your leaving him and Sarah had left him in. Yet, despite the crippling jealousy that he felt towards the other man for capturing your heart, he could not hate him. Alec was the perfect gentleman. You and he flourished together and helped Joel whenever he needed it. It was impossible to be anything but happy for you both.

"Sarah come." Said Noah as he took her hand and helped her waddle over to his jungle gym "Play princesses."

Joel watched with fondness as his 18th-month daughter walked with the little boy, her legs still a little wobbly but getting stronger every week. He kept an eye on them both whilst listening in to the conversation that was flowing between the adults. Tommy laughed as he told them a story about one of his friends, the older brother smiling at how enthusiastically his brother spoke about his brothers in arms.

"How's work been for you Joel?" You asked, pulling his gaze away from the kids and towards you as you smiled sweetly at him.

"Business is good." Joel answered with a shrug "Can't complain really."

"How did your date with that client's daughter go?" Tommy asked as he gave his brother a wink.

"You had a date?" You practically squeaked, looking between the two brothers with giddy excitement.

"Was fine." Joel shrugged "She was sweet but we just didn't click." Joel shrugged, looking down at the beer in his hand in hoping that you would drop it.

"What really happened?" You pushed and he sighed, there was no hiding anything from you.

"She uh... Well, she freaked out when I told her I had a kid." He answered honestly "Can't blame her. I'm 22 with a toddler. Not exactly what you expect or what from a relationship in your early twenties."

"Joel..."

"It's fine... Honestly, what 20-something What's a kid right?"

Your mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. Unable to find the words to say to make him feel better. He was so young and yet he seemed so set that he was to face life alone.

"Foods up" Stated Alec as he placed the plate of burgers down beside the salad you'd placed there a few minutes ago.

"KIDS." Joel shouted, smirking when just their heads appeared in the doorway of the fort "FOOD!" he finished, outright smirking at how their eyes widened before they scrambled over to the table.

Lunch passed with ease. Noah found it exceedingly funny how his little friend pulled her burger apart so that she could eat it all in separate pieces. Then after the dishes were cleared away and the kids were out down for a nap the four of you sat in the garden and enjoyed the piece and quiet. The conversation flowed easily and everything was relaxed.

Until you and Alec dropped your news.

"We're real glad that the two of you were able to make it." Alec said as he glanced at you and smiled.

"Why's that?" Tommy asked as he eyed you and Alec.

"Well, we got some news."

Joel's stomach dropped.

"Y'all getting married?" Tommy fired at them and they chuckled.

"No... Although we have been discussing it." Alec chuckled.

"What is it then?" Tommy pushed and Joel wished his brother wouldn't. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"We're gonna have a baby." You gushed and Joel swore his heart stopped altogether.

"What?"

Your brows pulled together at his question and he internally scorned himself for his reaction. He hadn't meant to say that out loud but he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

You were pregnant?

"What my brother meant to say was congrats." Tommy piped up, pulling Joel back to earth with a crash.

"Yeah... Course I did... just caught me by surprise is all." Joel stated, giving you what he hoped was a convincing smile.

"Yeah... we uh..." Alec chuckled as you both gazed at each other a moment and grinned "We were too. Would be lying if we said we planned this."

That didn't make Joel feel any better.

"We have one too many bottles of wine to thank for this." You sniggered as you placed your hand on the bump that Joel had completely missed before.

"Well, we already know you're both gonna be ace parents." Tommy said as he jumped to his feet, bending down to hug both you and Alec.

Joel's heart was in his throat. He had worked so hard to bury his feelings for you but this news had just dredged them from the depths and shoved them in his face. He felt like he was under a spotlight as you all turned to look at him, waiting for him to speak. Sarah crying down the baby monitor couldn't have come at a better time.

The tearful daddies had him standing from his seat quickly and muttering a few nervous sorry's before he sprinted inside to his daughter. You couldn't help but be confused by Joel's reaction to your news. You'd thought he would be happy for you.

Meanwhile, Joel was rocking his sniffly little girl as she settled in his arms, placing soft kisses on her head of curly hair as he whispered how it was okay to her whilst swallowing back his own tears. He soothed his little girl back to sleep, laying her back down in her cot before stumbling back onto the couch behind him, falling into it and throwing his head in his hands as he allowed his tears to flow.

Something you watched from the shadows as your heart shattered for him. You weren't sure why he was so broken but you hated seeing him hurt. Little did you know that he was mourning the fact that you were completely and utterly lost to him now. He officially had no hope of sharing his life with the woman who had pulled him from the deepest pit and brought him into the light. The woman who had taught him that life was worth living.

That everyone has a second chance at love.

...

Tommy watched his brother from the kitchen as the man finished cleaning away the mess Sarah had left from dinner. They had left a short while after you and Alec had made your announcement, Joel remaining quiet the rest of the time they were there. He knew something was up. His brother wasn't good at hiding his true feelings, he wore them on his sleeve and he felt conflicted about his sibling's reaction to your pregnancy. Part of him felt for Joel. Knowing that for longer than his older brother had realised, he'd had feelings for you and how this bombshell must have shattered him. The other part though was angry that Joel hadn't even tried to pretend that he was happy for you.

"Joel." He called out when his brother's cleaning got more erratic "Joel!" He said a little louder when his first call fell on deaf ears.

"What." The older man growled, coming to a stop and gripping the edges of the counter as he stared at the bottles now soaking in the sink.

"You could have been nicer about her news." He said plainly, pulling Joel's gaze to him.

"What?" He asked again, but his tone changed.

"I get that you're probably feeling a bit bummed about this but-"

"Bummed?" Joel snarled, stopping his brother in his tracks "You think I'm feeling bummed about this?"

"You know what I mean... I get you're disappointed but you could have at least pretended to be happy for her."

Joel said nothing.

His chest heaved as his brother's words whirled in his brain. Bummed... he thought to himself. BUMMED?? He hadn't meant to yell that last thought at his brother.

"I am fucking devastated." Joel choked, taking his brother by surprise "A year and a half ago... I lost my wife on what should have been the happiest day of my life."

Tommy flinched at the mention of Joel's dead wife.

"I drove home alone... with this tiny person beside me and I honestly thought that my life was over..." He trailed off as he scraped a shaky hand over his face "And then I walk into that very lounge and there's this ray of light shining back at me.

"She pulled me back from the brink and despite my brain telling me it was wrong... I fell for her. But my wife had just died and I had a new baby so I pushed it away... Pushed her away..." Joel was sobbing now, his cheeks glittering with the tears that tracked down them "I pushed her away and she stumbled into the arms of another man. A man that I can't even hate because he's so fucking perfect for her!"

"But you are-"

"I'm a fucking wreck, Tommy." Joel interrupted "I am nothing but bad for her and my feeling devastated about her happy news just proves that."

"Joel..." Tommy trailed off, his heart aching for his older brother now.

"I fucked up." He finished, shrugging and leaving the room.

As the weather grew a little more changeable, dinners at your home became more scarce. Instead, you had started to have Sarah over for a few hours in the evening as Joel's hours had gotten longer. He never stuck around when collecting her though and you knew he was avoiding you. You hadn't pushed the subject of witnessing him crying. You'd barely mentioned the pregnancy around him in the short moments you did share any conversation. One month merged into two. Two into three and you felt him grow more and more distant with each one.

You ached to talk to him though. To try and understand why your happy news had affected him the way it had. You wondered if perhaps it had brought up the hurt of losing Ali. They had broken the news to you in a similar way. Dinner at there's with you and a few other close friends, they had announced that they were expecting. Perhaps it had brought up memories and feelings he'd not dwelt on for a while.

He never gave you a chance to find out though. You would share a few words. Mostly about what Sarah had been up to at nursery and with you before discussing what she had for dinner and any other days he may need you to have her. Your friendship had become little more than a business transaction and it was breaking your heart... And Alec could see how much it was breaking you.

He only allowed one more month of this to continue before he finally decided that enough was enough.

...

Joel glanced up at the door, glancing at Tommy before pushing himself to his feet and walking up to answer it. He had no clue who would be at his door at 9 in the evening but if he had hazard a guess, he wouldn't have ever thought it was Alec.

"Hey." Alec said as he gave the man a smile "Hope I'm not interrupting."

"Tommy and I were just watching the game." Joel replied and Alec nodded "What can I do for you?" He asked as he glanced over the man's shoulder "Everything okay?"

"Oh yeah." Alec nodded, giving Joel's arm a friendly pat "I just thought you and I could go for a drink. Catch up... It's been a while."

"Oh, I don't know... Sarah-"

"Can be sat by her uncle Tommy for a few hours." Piped up his younger sibling as he walked up behind him "Go, I can handle shit here for a while."

"You referring to it as shit doesn't give me much confidence." Joel grumbled as he grabbed his jacket and followed Alec to his car "Page me if you need me." He threw over his shoulder as he turned his head to look at his brother who was waving him off from the front door.

"Won't need ya, brother."

...

Alec drove to a bar not far from Joel's. It was fairly busy but not so much so that they couldn't hear each other talk. The conversation had flowed surprisingly easily at first. Something that Joel had always admired about Alec was that the man loved to talk about his kid. He sat there and gushed about how well Noah and Sarah played together. How she seemed to hang off of his every action.

"He's constantly talking to baby." Alec chuckled "Telling her all the games he wants to play and-"

"Her?" Joel piped up and Alec grinned and nodded "Shit... yeah I wasn't supposed to say anything." He let out an awkward chuckle as he took a sip of his beer "We're having a girl."

"Wow, that's... That's great." Joel replied, his tone turning flat as he took a large swig of his beer in the hope that it would mask his disappointment.

"Yeah... We're excited."

"I bet."

An awkward silence fell over the duo a moment before Alec spoke again. Leaning forward in his chair and forcing himself into Joel's eyeline.

"What's going on man?" He asked and Joel was surprised at how surprisingly soft his question was.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that since we announced that we're having a baby you've been off." He stated plainly "I've been watching you break your friend's heart month by month as you grow more and more distant with her."

"Alec-" Joel was stopped by a raised hand and he sighed.

"I know our news must have dredged up some memories for you but you can't push your friends away." Alec pleaded "We're here to help you, Joel."

"That's not... It didn't..." Joel couldn't string the words together but Alec knew what he was trying to say.

"Well if it isn't that... the only other logical reason for your reaction is that you're..." He trailed off as he put two and two together. His eyes trailing up to Joel as the last puzzle piece falls into place.

"You're in love with her... Aren't you?"

Joel's eyes filled with tears as he nodded numbly. His eyes squeezed shut knocking a few of them free. Alec sat there in shock as he processed what he'd just learned. Joel's heart was in his throat as he watched the man work through everything he needed to. He had hoped that he would take this secret to his grave but in reality, he knew it had only been a matter of time before it came out.

"Alec I'm sorry..." Joel choked, his eyes pleading with the man to believe him "I had feelings for her way before she met you but I was struggling with losing Ali and the fact I'd developed feelings for someone so soon after that I suppressed them and pushed her away and then she met you and I... Well, I was too late. You're good for her and I would never get in the way of you guys I just... I'm not good at handling this."

This statement made Alec snort. He finally looked at Joel and the younger man readied himself for the verbal bashing he was undoubtedly about to receive. It never came.

"I won't lie to you, man." Alec started with a sigh "This is not what I expected when I decided we needed to talk."

Joel nodded, his eyes dropping to his beer bottle.

"You need to buck up your ideas now though man." The man continued "She needs you... She needs Sarah. You're all she has left of Ali and she's been slowly killing herself trying to work out what she did wrong to make you so distant."

"I didn't mean to hurt her." Joel mumbled and Alec nodded.

"I know man and I get why you've been behaving as you have. It's not gonna be easy learning the woman you love is having a baby with another man but we are your friends Joel and we can help you get through this. So let us."

Joel nodded and gave the man a teary smile.

They finished their beers before heading out of the bar and back to Alec's car. Joel had always admired the man's car. A black 66' Mustang that he had rebuilt with his dad as a kid. Alec had regaled the story fondly the first time Joel had set eyes on the car.

"Wanna drive?" Alec asked as he waved the keys at Joel.

The man's eyes widened as he nodded eagerly and Alec grinned as he tossed them to Joel as they swapped sides. To say Joel was excited did not do what he was feeling justice. He had been trying to think of a way to ask the man if he could take it for a spin since he met him, so to finally get the chance was beyond exciting.

The straight six sitting under the bonnet roared to life and Joel and Alec both groaned before the younger man peeled out of the carpark and onto the main road. No words passed between them a while before Alec rolled his head to look at his friend, smiling at the giddy excitement plastered all over Joel.

"I'm sorry you've been hurting man." He said simply "I want you to know that I genuinely care about you and I don't want to see you suffer."

Joel shot him a smile, before returning his focus to the road.

"We'll work this shit out." He finished, giving Joel's knee a friendly pat before turning his attention to the buildings that flew past his window.

"Thank you." Joel said as he smiled over at Alec, his eyes then greeting the headlights of a truck that had just jumped a light.

It was the last thing he said before the sound of metal being crushed rang in their ears.

Then everything went black.

For updates follow @albertasunrise-ficsblog

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller the last of us #last of us #the last of us #joel miller gif #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #pedro pascal gif #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you

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blessedwithabadomen · 3 months

Text

in love with the mess - day three

summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she's decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and... well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?

content : fluff, flirting, the slightest hint of something more smutty

length : 3.9k

tags (let me know if you want to be tagged!) : @veronicaphoenix @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @jilliemiw86 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81 @flowery-mess @shilohrosechicken @justeli6 @starvingarsyn @floatinglikeaswan @somebodyels3

a/n : hope you'll have fun with this one!! I promise, it'll get into real slutty territory soon enough hehe 💗

•••

day three

With no personal social media to his name anymore (at least none I knew about just yet), Noah had seemingly decided to use my number as an unspoken permission to spam me with photos of his day. It started with a picture of his very sleepy yet very attractive face and a caption cursing out the early bus call. I could only agree, snapping a picture of my own head still half hidden under the covers and sending it back.

Load-in was a tedious task that I only peripherally participated in. Noah seemed to think similarly as a picture of the outside of their bus, cluttered with baggage, followed as well as a “Think they'll notice if I slip into my bunk instead of helping?”. I told him if he did slip away, I'd do the same. Unfortunately it wouldn’t involve the same bus.

“No sleep allowed around here” was next along with a picture of the rest of his band engrossed in a PlayStation game and quite obviously shouting at both the screen and each other. This time I went straight to texting him.

Aubrey No sleep last night either? Jet lag kicking your arse? Noah Jet lag and you Aubrey Excuse me How am I to blame here Noah You really kiss me and then have the audacity to ask that

My cheeks were burning. Quickly looking around the lounge area on the bus, I was glad to see that it was mostly deserted, only the tour photographer was sat across from me, but he seemed busy enough editing that he didn't pay me any attention. My eyes were glued to my phone again the second another message came in.

Noah Still thinking about your mouth

It wasn't just a blush now, it was a familiar tingle between my legs on top of it. Because I'd been thinking about it too. Thinking and remembering and imagining. If I closed my eyes, I could still feel his hands on me, his strong grip, the way I wanted to get his fingers everywhere on my body, his mouth, his tongue, all of it.

Aubrey And that kept you up so much you didn't get enough sleep? Interesting Anything else you did instead then Noah You don't know how tempted I was, darling But I didn't need to subject Nick to that

Right. I forgot not everyone was privileged enough to have Oli Sykes fight to get them their own room without having to share. And having been put up with a roommate several times on tours the last couple of years… It wasn't fun for anyone if someone decided to get off while the other was in the room.

Aubrey Well, you could go be alone in your bunk right now There's another two hours until Birmingham, pretty boy I'm sure your mind will occupy you just fine Maybe let you imagine my mouth a couple or other places

I didn't expect what came next. In fact, his next message took so long I wondered, once again, if I'd taken it a little too far. But once again, I was proven wrong.

The picture was dark, so much that I turned up the light on my phone to even get a hint of what I was looking up and when I saw, I almost threw it across the room. Instead though, I opted for putting it in my lap, face down, making sure that I was still alone with the photographer who was still distracted and no one else could possibly see what I was looking at.

Then I turned it back around and studied what was in front of me. It was unmistakable, really. The inside of a bunk, dark, with the curtain shut. A pair of legs in dark sweatpants, bland and impersonal, without any way to trace it back to Noah. And a bulge in the middle of it, so big and obvious and on show, it was almost obscene.

I didn't know how long I stared at his clothed dick, salivating and getting wetter, but I didn't move eyes away until I was certain I was going to go crazy if I spent one more moment trying to imagine what he would look like underneath the fabric without taking a breath.

Aubrey And you have the audacity to suggest I'm the bad one here

•••

Safe to say, I was in a mood. Noah ceased texting back and I was almost glad because I was sure I'd actually end up brain-dead if he continued like that while I was a whole bus away and without any chance to touch him. The thoughts whirling in my head, though, didn't quiet down at all. Not when we arrived at the hotel and I desperately (and unsuccessfully) tried to get at least a peek at Noah, not when we checked into our rooms, not when Oli texted me that he'd be waiting downstairs and calling us an uber for the shopping trip. I made quick work of changing my underwear, terrified of possibly sporting a wet spot when I was supposed to be trying on clothes, and jumped into the car that seemed to arrive at the same time as I did.

“No fake moustache?” I questioned as I slid into the backseat next to Oli. “I'm devastated.”

“Listen, I tried a filter and, well, ya know,” Oli explained, quickly pulling up the picture on his phone and angling it toward me. I choked down a laugh. He looked absolutely ridiculous, a black comic-esque moustache on his upper lip. It didn't help that the filter had somehow also given him a monocle and an old-fashioned top hat.

“Yeah, that definitely would have drawn more attention,” I giggled. “Pulling the hood of your jacket a bit into your face will probably work better.”

He immediately tried, pulling it down so far he could barely see, and I gave him an approving nod.

“Keep your tattoos covered and you'll be fine.”

It wasn't usually much of a problem, really, going out with Oli. Even if there was one or two people recognising him, everyone usually stayed respectful, got their photo or a quick chat, and moved on. But now Bring Me were playing arena shows and the cities were basically buzzing with fans. We didn't need to cause any sort of problem.

“So why the shopping trip then, eh? Far as I can see you got a whole suitcase full of clothes.”

I hesitated for a moment. Then I figured there was simply no use in not being honest with him. After all, looking down at myself revealed nothing but a plain shirt under a jacket and a dark pair of jeans that could be fitting much better.

“Got sick of looking like this,” I explained, motioning to my outfit. Oli had known me for years - surely he had noticed the change too, the lack of styling, the lack of care in my appearance. I was pretty sure I was wearing hot pants that barely covered my bum and fishnets that had more holes than anticipated by the manufacturer when we first met on one of his tours.

“Why, I think your face ain't half bad,” he deadpanned. I had no witty comeback to this blatant disrespect and defaulted to my standard response of delivering a good smack, but this time I was either too slow or had given Oli too much insight into the way I dealt with things because his hand shot up and caught my wrist the second I lifted it. He gave me a look and then gently put my hand back into my own lap. But he didn't let go of my wrist.

“So, to what do I owe the pleasure of being chosen as your shopping partner for this adventure?” The posh accent he put on almost tempted me to try hitting him again, but his fingers were still tightly wrapped around my skin and I wasn't ready to lose his touch just yet.

“Well, it did seem like a good choice, you know. With the stage fits and your own clothing line and all that.”

Oli hummed in contemplation. “Or maybe you enjoy the idea of me dressing you up a little. Like my personal doll. Wouldn't you like that?”

The way my body heated up and my fingers were getting slightly sweaty told him enough. The smirk that appeared on his face was confirmation.

“Thought so, doll.”

The uber driver announcing the arrival at our destination saved me from struggling to form a reply.

•••

Shopping with Oli was as chaotic as it was confusing. He constantly pulled pieces from the shelves and rails, holding them out to me or pressing them against my body, pretending to judge what they would look like if I wore them, and I was fighting to see the difference between the ones he thought would actually suit me and those he picked for comic relief. It was a fine line that he was treading expertly.

Still, I ended up with an arm full of clothes. If Oli hadn't sweet talked the employee - which, mind, worked quite well in an alternative store as soon as they recognised who they were dealing with - I definitely wouldn't have been allowed to drag all of them into the changing room with me. Being friends with a bit of a rockstar definitely had its perks, even if they were rather boring sometimes.

I was sorting out the pieces, trying to figure out what to start with and what I needed to take off concerning my own clothes, when a message came in.

Noah I'm at interview 528 of 1244 of the day and I am painfully bored Please tell me you're off doing something more interesting

I shot a quick picture of the mountain of clothes I'd heaved onto the little stool and sent it to him as an answer.

Noah How desperate do I sound if I ask for update pictures on what you're trying Aubrey Just the right amount

Putting on a pair of tight jeans and a slightly cropped shirt, nothing too risky, not yet, I took and sent him another picture before putting the phone away to throw the curtain back and present the result to Oli. Unfortunately, the screen decided to light up with Noah's answer right within Oli's field of views. And he had no sense of privacy.

“Are you texting Noah? Wait, are you sending Noah pictures? We need a fucking group chat.”

Who was to deny Oli Sykes. So, just like that, my shopping trip turned into a fashion show and a photo shoot all at once. It started out with the best intentions, really, Oli continuously throwing new stuff at me, tweaking the outfits, talking about accessories to accompany the looks. But as the pile of “definitely buy"-clothes grew, so did his taste for mischief.

It started with a shirt, black velvet, quite modest really, if it hadn't been for the heart-shaped cut-out on my chest. The pointy end displayed the beginning of my cleavage, not too much, but enough to be a promise. As soon as I let Oli see, a cat-like smile graced his face, obviously happy with this choice. Without any words, he immediately got out his phone again and took a picture, angling it just the way so that my tits looked a little more inviting than they did anyway.

“Noah's gonna love this,” he cackled to himself. He wasn't wrong - what followed in the group chat was nothing more than a line of hieroglyphs (in the form of emojis) that vaguely suggests he was enjoying the picture very much. The top wandered to the clothes I was definitely going to purchase. No question about it.

The next shorts-and-top combo that Oli prepared for me featured a massive amount of skin on show, I realised, as I turned the top over in my hands only to see its back consisted of not much more than a handful of thick, flat strings that would be spanning over my skin, almost suggesting a little bit of bondage. Oli immediately ordered me to turn around when I stepped out of the changing room, arranging them just perfectly. His fingers kept tracing over my tattoo, once again, and it was just as exhilarating as it had been the first time. I barely noticed him taking another picture. This time I also got a message back privately, outside of the newly-founded group chat.

Noah That the tattoo you've mentioned? Aubrey One of them

I was dying to show him the others. Anything that would cause me to be in fewer clothes around him.

Noah Stunning

I wasn't sure if he was reacting to the tattoo or the news that I had more to show him.

“Here, try this,” Oli's voice came through, followed by his tattooed hand pushing a skirt into my direction without disturbing the curtain too much. I quickly grabbed it and changed once again. It was only when it was actually sitting on my hips that I realised how awfully short it was. Only, it wasn't all that awful. The red tartan pattern was bright enough that it wouldn’t be missed even in dim light. The hem ended just underneath my arse - as long as I was standing upright. It would only take the slightest movement to enter dangerous territory.

Oli’s eyes immediately trailed over my legs as I pulled the curtain back. It was safe to say, he was very pleased with his choice. I did a little twirl for him, aware of the way the fabric was lifting up, exposing the slightest bit of my lace panties.

Oli groaned, deeply. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna work. Not with all the bending down you have to do at your job, right?”

I could see the twinkle in his eyes - but I was sure he could also see the one in mine.

“Oh, no,” I sighed, rather overdramatically. “I guess that might be a problem. Like this?”

Turning around, I quickly checked through the mirror that he was still watching me, and then bend down, pushing my butt in his direction as I felt the fabric lift up so high, it was almost around my hips exclusively. The next few things happened insanely fast - Oli taking a step forward, the curtain being shut again, his hands on my hips, his body pressing into mine. I almost stumbled, quickly placing my hands on the little stool that was still covered in a few pieces of clothing, holding on for dear life as he took the liberty to roughly push his crotch against my ass.

“You’re playing a dangerous fucking game, doll,” he said, his voice lower than I’d ever heard it. I relished in the way the pet name had me squirming. One of his hands moved to my upper back, holding me down, making sure that I knew who was in charge. The other gripped my side so tightly, it gave me an insight to how much self-control he was currently exhibiting in not doing more. “What happened to you, hm? Used to be such a good girl. So well behaved around me. Now you’re just begging for trouble.”

“You did,” I moaned. “You happened.”

It was true. I’d never been prude or shy, really, but we had never been like this. I had certainly never had him push his dick against my arse through a few layers of clothes. I had been crushing on him, yes, but I hadn’t made any moves. Now, everything had changed. The moment I’d seen him again, seen his smile, his physique, the way he behaved around me, something had changed in my brain, fundamentally. It had only gotten worse with every minute I was around him. I wanted and needed him in ways that hadn’t been present before. An overwhelming desire that was begging me to do more, be more assertive, let him know, get satisfied. And he wasn’t refusing me.

“Is that what it is?” Oli teased, the hand that was on my upper back moving again until his fingers reached my hair, grabbing some of it into his fist like a makeshift ponytail and pulling my head up so I’d look at him through the mirror. He seemed terribly pleased at the gasp that left my mouth. “Am I turning you into this? And you love it?”

“Yes,” I replied immediately.

He let go of my hair again and my head almost slumped forward. I watched as he fumbled with the pocket of his trousers, pulling you his phone. He leaned backward slightly, without quite letting go of me, pushing the fabric even higher so everything was on show, his cock still lightly pressed against my almost-bare butt, and snapped a quick picture.

“Can’t leave Noah out of this now, can we?”

Then he was off me and I almost cried out at the loss of his touch. I slowly raised my upper body, just in time for him to open the curtain again and stepping outside.

“Get dressed. We’re buying it all.”

•••

Under immense protest from myself, Oli did, indeed, buy me basically everything under the guise of “work expenses”. I knew there was no use arguing after he’d already handed over his credit card, the stubborn son of a bitch would definitely not allow me to pay him back in any way, so I wordlessly took the bags from the cashier and followed him to where he called us another uber back to the hotel.

It was dark by the time we arrived, January taking no prisoners as the sun went down. All I wanted was to get up to my room, cuddle up in the massive double bed I’d been given, maybe put on a movie, and enjoy the fact that tomorrow wasn’t an early start since we were already in Birmingham for the show. The hotel lobby was buzzing with people getting ready to go out, but one person seemed a little out of place. Oli and I noticed him immediately.

Noah was sat on an armchair in the farthest corner from the door looking, well, a little rough to be honest. We didn’t even discuss it as we walked over to him, me sitting down on the chair opposite, Oli hovering between us, dumping the shopping bags on the floor.

“Sitting here all alone, handsome?” I greeted him. He gave me a smile, but it was obvious that he was feeling pretty beat. Apparently, a day full of interviews and photos and whatever else had made its way into his calender didn’t work well with the last remaining bits of jet lag lingering in his system.

“I was gonna have dinner with the rest of the guys here at the hotel but then they wanted to go out and I realised I’m just much too exhausted for that,” he explained.

Oli moved behind him, placing his hands on Noah’s shoulders and starting to massage them. Noah briefly tensed up at the physical contact, before relaxing and leaning into it with a satisfied groan.

“So you got stuck in the lobby?”

“Kinda,” he said, eyes closed, already drifting into another dimension from Oli’s touch. I couldn’t blame him at all.

“I hope you weren’t sitting here when I sent you those pictures of Aubrey,” Oli remarked. Noah’s eyes immediately flew open again at the memory.

“I was supposed to be doing a very serious interview, actually.”

“How did that work out?”

Noah gulped. “Not that well.”

I felt a blush creeping up on my face. I hadn’t seen the pictures yet, even though they were readily available in the group chat, but I could only imagine what they must have looked like taken from Oli’s perspective. The idea of Noah looking at them when he very much shouldn’t be, maybe getting a little horny in the process, desperately trying to hide it but still checking his phone for more, was delicious. It was tempting to tease him a little further, but he looked so genuinely tired and when his stomach gave an audible growl, it didn’t feel like the right approach.

“So, we’re all in the lobby, we’re all getting sleepy and we’re all hungry. How does a movie night with room service at mine sound?”

Apparently, it sounded great. With renewed energy, Noah grabbed half of my bags, Oli the other, both of them almost at the elevator before I’d even gotten up from my seat.

What followed was a mad scramble to my room, a fight over which movie to watch (we ended up with Jurassic Park playing, somehow) and a lot of confused talking down the phone to reception, ordering just about everything on the menu. I mostly sat and watched, the way Oli and Noah interacted, the way both of them made sure to keep including me, the way they moved around in my room as if it was their own, confident and self-assured.

I looked back and forth between them, currently discussing the blanket and pillow situation, and found that my heart beat the same. I wanted Oli. And I wanted Noah. In the same way and so differently still. This was quickly moving away from “silly crush” territory and into something much more serious. I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about it yet, but when Noah gave me a dazzling smile, I decided now wasn’t the time to make up my mind.

An hour later, I was close to entering a food coma, watching Laura Dern be dazzlingly fantastic on screen, and trying not to think about the fact that I was squeezed between Oli and Noah on my bed. My thighs were touching theirs - it was simply impossible for them not to - but I suddenly felt self-concious about taking up any more space than that.

Not on Oli’s watch. “The fuck are you fidgeting for?”

I stilled immediately, feeling awkward at being called out. I genuinely hadn’t realised it had even been noticeable. Uttering a quick sorry I slid down a little further on the bed. It wasn’t any more comfortable.

“Jesus christ, just come here.”

Oli’s voice was harsh, but his hands were soft as he pulled me into him. It took a little bit of wiggling around, figuring out limbs and hair, until I ended up with my head on his solid chest, his arm around my shoulders, mine slung over his stomach. My ear was right over his heart. His heart, which was doing double time, in tune with my own.

“Do you need me to leave?” Noah sounded playful, but even without looking at him from my position, I was pretty certain there was a hint of honest insecurity in his question.

“Mate, we need you to join in.”

And just like that, without needing any more reassurance or invitation, Noah plastered himself against my back, moulding his body to mine, carefully placing an arm over me.

I didn’t miss the way Oli’s hand reached for his.

I didn't know how I'd quite gotten myself in this situation, cuddled up between two men who had me blushing, had my heart hammering, had me craving them. Two men who didn't seem to know what they were to each other just yet. None of us having any idea where this was going. What we were trying to get out of this. But right then and there I decided I already loved the mess we were getting ourselves into.

#Noah Sebastian fic #Noah Sebastian #Oli Sykes fic #Oli Sykes #Noah Sebastian x reader #Oli Sykes x reader #in love with the mess

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chrisevansonly · 1 year

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That’s My Boy

pairing: chris evans x female reader

summary: visiting jimmy fallon was one of chris’s favourite kinds of interviews to do, especially when he gets to brag about his wife and kids

warnings: some backstory of bad marriage but other than that none!

a/n: thank you to the anon that requested this! I did change a few things but I hope this is still okay!

Deep down Chris secretly like doing talk shows especially if he got to sat down with Jimmy Fallon, who was one of his favourite hosts, never failing to bring lots of laughs and lots of smiles to his face. Though he could have you to thank for that as you sat off to the side, your son Noah asleep against the baby bump that was steadily growing every day. Noah wasn’t biologically Chris’s having come from a different relationship, one that wasn’t safe or healthy for either of you, but he loved Noah with everything in him, and couldn’t imagine life without the two of you by his side.

When you caught him looking you threw him a smile and a small wave, knowing they were on commercial break he mouthed a silent ‘I love you’ your way, your cheeks flushing before turning your attention back to the 3 year old who was now snoring softly. When the music picked up Chris focused his attention back onto Jimmy and they jumped into promotion for his new movie, as well as future goals and projects.

“So, I have a question for you, well only if you want to answer it of course”

Chris nodded

“Sure, sure”

“Okay, now this is quite literally the cutest photo I think I’ve seen in a long time; I was wondering if we could have some backstory on this moment...”

Jimmy turned a card around and it showed Noah curled up with Dodger who had his nose resting against your stomach, the sun was peeking through the living room and there was a cartoon playing on the tv, instantly Chris smiled before clearing his throat

“Yeah, I remember that morning because 5 minutes later it was chaos”

Laughter filled the audience, and even you couldn’t hold back the laugh, the memories so vivid in your mind at just how crazy that day truly had been

“This is your son Noah, right?”

“Yep, that would be Noah, though he was two in that photo, now he’s three, so getting bigger everyday”

Chris paused to take a sip of water and then continued

“Noah loves Dodger, I mean they’re best buddies those two, get into all sorts of trouble, I swear they are two peas in a pod”

“Ah so they get into just about everything then?”

Chris laughed with Jimmy

“Oh yeah, you name anything, and they’ve probably gotten into it, but Noah loves to cuddle with him and-and just spend time lounging around the house with his mom too, so the morning I took this was just after I got back from a run and they were all bundled up on the couch, it was too sweet for words.”

A smile spread across Jimmy’s face as he ‘awed’ gently

“You and your wife, Y/N, are expecting another baby soon too, right?”

Chris glanced at you before looking back over

“Yes, we are, they are due I believe it’s September 3rd or sometime around there”

“That’s very exciting, congratulations to you both!”

“Thank you, thank you, we are really excited”

Jimmy and Chris continued to talk about a few things before they wrapped up the show, he was quick to find you and Noah instantly reaching out to take the sleeping toddler into his arms, so you didn’t have to hold him anymore.

“You did great out there, I like seeing you that happy and relaxed”

Smiling up at him he leaned down to press his lips to yours softly before pulling back to wrap an arm around your waist, leading you out to the car waiting to take you back to your hotel.

“I’m always happy and relaxed when you guys get to come, and of course talking about Noah and my wife who just so happens to look absolutely beautiful tonight, helps to brighten the mood”

“Trying to butter me up Evans?”

“Hmm maybe, is it working?”

You laughed stopping to give him one more kiss

“A little…”

Chris helped you into the car before setting Noah in his car seat and making sure he was strapped in properly before the blacked-out SUV pulled away from the curb. He would never understand how he got so lucky to be loved by you and to have his own little family, something he used to dream about but never thought he’d ever get. So, as you headed towards your hotel, no doubt to enjoy some New York take out and a cheesy romance movie, he couldn’t help but thank whoever brought you and Noah to him, and now a soon to be brother or sister to Noah. Chris had never felt luckier, and it was all thanks to you and Noah.

#rueswrites #ruesanswers #ruesasks #ruesanons<3 #chris evans #chris evans fanfic #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x wife!reader #chris evans x girlfriend!reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x pregnant!reader #chris evans x wife reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x fluff #dad chris evans

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perpetualexistence · 1 month

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Slumbering Pride

Alenoah Week Day 7: Free Day! (Demon AU)

Alejandro is finally, finally close to beating José at something. He's in his junior year, and universities are already scouting him out thanks to his name, his academic prowess, and his athletic prowess.

They did the same for José when he was about to graduate. The difference is he had five schools attempt to recruit him.

Alejandro has six.

José can't let this stand. If Alejandro officially gets six offers, then he'll know José isn't perfect. He'll start trying harder to beat José in things. And worse, he might actually win if he's proven himself capable of it.

José needs to do something about it, so he comes to the most obvious solution.

He summons a demon.

(Rest under read more because it's long)

Demons are an open secret. They were confirmed to be real a while back, though are mostly bound by the deals they must make in order to maintain a foothold on the human realm. An unbound demon is a dangerous thing, and often happens if the person making the deal is tricked into breaking their side of it.

Demons are known to do everything possible to do this, or at least cause havoc in whatever capacity their bounds enable them to. It's forbidden and illegal for anyone to summon one without proper qualifications. (There's still some summonings that do happen after all, demons are quite useful so long as you're careful).

Still, humans are naturally curious creatures, and have found multiple ways of spreading this knowledge as best as they can. Demon summoning is uncommon, but it still happens. So much that children are taught what to do if they believe they're encountering a demon.

Most sane people know better than to risk entering any contract with a demon. But there are always those desperate enough, or stupid enough, to try.

Getting his hands on a book on demon summoning is child's play for someone with José's family connections. He doesn't care what kind of demon he summons, so long as he summons one that will do the job he wants. He can sweet talk them into giving him the best deal possible just as he sweet talks anyone else.

As he finishes the summoning, his limbs grow heavier. It is constant agony to keep himself standing. His thoughts grow fuzzy as he struggles to remember what he was so focused on. He isn't quite sure why he bothers.

It would be much easier to sit down and rest. What was he so worried about, again? It couldn't have been so important if he's forgotten. His eyes droop to a close as he lets out a sigh of relief he had been holding back for so, so long.

"Wow, you're seriously pathetic if you're this affected by my summoning."

José snapped out of his stupor to see a teenager staring back at him. He was a couple of inches shorter than José and could only be described as a breathing fashion disaster.

José could have stopped there, but he couldn't ignore the horns atop the demon's head, the wings pressed against his back, the tail lightly tapping the ground. His arms were folded as he tapped his clawed foot impatiently.

José was expecting something much more imposing than...this. He'd laugh if had less control of himself.

"I would like to make a deal with you-"

"Could have fooled me with your craiglist ad." Noah said, glancing at the circle underneath him. "It's so generic it screams 'I'm not going to put you in a van and drive you to an undisclosed location, I promise.'"

José could feel a headache coming on. "I am going to make a deal with you, demonio." He needed to regain control of this conversation, fast.

"Never said I wouldn't make one. What do you want?"

"I would like for you to stop my brother from getting too far ahead in life. At the very least, I want to make sure that he can never surpass me. In any way. Can you do that?"

"Depends on what I get in return."

The two end up negotiating until they settle on a deal: Noah makes sure that Alejandro can never surpass José, and in return Noah gets to take his ability to dream. José can do without a few dreamless nights.

That's how Alejandro finds himself waking up in the morning with a demon that was only as tall as halfway up his knee staring at him from the foot of his bed.

Alejandro instinctively kicks the smaller boy out of panic, sending a very unhappy demon crashing into a wall. When they've both recovered, Noah explains exactly what's going on.

He's here to pretty much haunt and sabotage Alejandro, José's the one who sent him because he's a dick, and this is just going to be their life now.

After Alejandro processes the fact that his brother truly hates him this much as to risk both of their lives to a demon, he asks why Noah would bother to tell him all of this. He doesn't say it out loud, but he knows that a demon could absolutely make his life a living hell. He's expecting insidious manipulations and life threatening accidents.

And this demon is making any sabotage more difficult by confessing that he's going to sabotage Alejandro? Something isn't adding up.

That's when Noah points out the big flaw in Jose's brilliant plan.

Because he hadn't been concerned about what kind of demon he summoned, he pretty much set up a job posting for a demon from any of the seven sins to snatch. Noah just happened to get there first.

So what does José get for not being specific?

A sloth demon.

Noah plans to do the bare minimum of what's required for his job. He doesn't care to bother with the effort of lying to Alejandro about his purpose here. The only reason he bothered to take this job in the first place is because the human realm has two things that the demon realm doesn't: Decent places to nap, and good books.

The only thing he hadn't counted on is how small he'd end up being once bonded with Alejandro. His size is dependent on the amount of sloth Alejandro has. The teen who gives it his all in every activity he does.

Noah's got his work cut out for him.

Alejandro tries seeing if he can use his own silver tongue to have Noah quit the job before he gets started, but with no luck. Noah doesn't feel like leaving. And he's not about to break the deal on his side because then he be forced back into the demon realm and unable to return unless directly summoned.

Alejandro would very much like to try just trapping the demon somewhere, then go to his brother to confront him about doing this. But he knows better than to act before fully knowing what Noah is capable of. And he wouldn't be surprised if his brother tried to gaslight him into thinking Noah wasn't real. He still doesn't quite believe it himself.

He does start to believe that having Noah around will be a continuous little nightmare. He's constantly offering snide remarks. He keeps trying to convince Alejandro to stop trying so hard and just be lazy.

Alejandro's not as aggravated as the attempt than he is at the fact that there's zero tact to it. Noah isn't even TRYING to be subtle. He could think of a thousand ways to do Noah's job better, except telling him that would then make Alejandro's life worse.

It gets to the point where he's so upset he just throws a pillow at Noah. The demon squawks as he gets hit, and Alejandro gets immense satisfaction from this. Alejandro knows this is a terrible idea, but he's angry at this whole situation and needs to take it out on somebody. Might as well do it on the one successfully set him off.

Alejandro gets his karma for snapping at Noah when he goes to sleep.

His dream starts off as he would expect it to. Until suddenly he finds something knocked against his back. He finds himself pinned to his stomach, and when he struggles to get out from under it, he finds the tip of a very familiar tail at a much larger scale pressing down on him.

"I thought 'Burromuertos conquer whatever they set their minds to'. We're in your mind. So get up."

Alejandro can feel Noah's smirk though he can't see it. He refuses to give Noah the satisfaction of admitting defeat and continues to fight against the tail.

Tears are not pricking his eyes as he's made to feel insignificant in the last safe place that was truly his.

As he can't feel tired in his dream, he continues to struggle. Noah admits that Alejandro's probably the most stubborn human he's ever met.

Alejandro snaps that he's a Burromuerto, and he does not quit. He cannot, and will not quit. Ever. No matter the competition, no matter the cost. Noah's just another obstacle in his way. But he will beat his brother in something for once in his life.

He does his best to hide the desperation in his need to believe that this is true. He's hidden it well in the past, but Noah is a perceptive sort and hears it anyways.

Noah asks what could type of win could possibly be so important that it was worth the risk of his brother summoning a demon on him.

"I'm about to beat him in the amount of colleges offering me admissions by one." Alejandro gloated, pride swelling in his chest.

The tail pressing down on him suddenly reached underneath him, and flipped him over like he was a roach. He looked up to see Noah's face free of apathy for the first time. Instead, it was replaced with one of...pity.

"You can't seriously be proud of that."

Alejandro grit his teeth. "I am."

"You have to know how that sounds, right?"

"Please do enlighten me about what you think that sounds like."

"It sounds pathetic! You're going above and beyond and you're seriously caught up in something as stupid as one-upping your brother?"

"Don't you dare try to act as if you know any better tú hijo de su puta madre," Alejandro snarled, the tears returning to his eyes. "I don't care what you are. You know nothing about me and my family. You can say and do whatever you like but I will not cow to any of your attempts to degrade me." His snarl turned into something of a deranged chuckle. "Do your worst. This is nothing new. I will still come out on top and grind you into dust."

Noah was silent for a long time. As he started to move his mouth to speak, Alejandro found himself snapping awake. He looked around to see Noah still in his room. He's looking at him with incredibly impassive indifference. Alejandro won't see anything else in his gaze. At least the demon was smart enough not to try running his mouth again.

Alejandro stormed off so he could grab a book to study while he ate breakfast.

Noah mostly stays out of Alejandro's way, but Alejandro can feel him watching. He doesn't care where Noah scampers off to during the day. He refuses to acknowledge the little monster.

He throws himself deep into studying. He's spending more time awake so he can study and avoid having to fall asleep. Beauty sleep be damned, he does not want to deal with Noah again.

When he does sleep, he dreams. He can always feel a looming presence behind him, and he says nothing of it.

He does his best to hide his exhaustion from the rest of his family. José notices and pounces on it. Alejandro continues to deny it, because he will not give his brother the satisfaction of having won yet another battle.

All the stress and exhaustion comes to a head after a few nights. Alejandro hopes for a dreamless night, and is instead greeted by a nightmare.

He's attending one of his parent's many galas, and his outfit is atrocious. He's sweating profusely. His hair is plastered to his face. Try as he might, it refuses to go back into place. He's a truly unforgiveable sight. He tries to sneak off so he can find something else to change into. Despite his appearance, no one is paying any attention to him. He finds out why as he goes through a guest.

He's running as fast as he can now. He's going through so many people, everything is blurring together. It all comes to a halt as he crashes into a wall he can't see. As he falls backwards, he sees that he's now in a terrarium.

Outside, his much larger brother and parents are talking to each other. Alejandro can't make out what they're saying, but he can see them laughing. He gets up and bangs on one of the walls. His brother flicks his gaze towards his little brother.

Finally, a break. He know Jose hates him, but he'd never truly hurt Alejandro. Alejandro knows this. He has to believe this. Jose could hurt him physically, mentally, and emotionally, but even he wouldn't leave Alejandro to die.

He'd just deliver a potential vehicle of death to Alejandro's doorstep, is all.

Their parents are gone, and it's just him and Jose now.

"Relájate, hermanito," Jose cooes as if he's talking to an infant, "Nadie espera que seas más de lo que eres. ¡Deberías estar agradecido de haber estado cerca de una fracción de mis logros! Sabes exactamente lo que te mereces por eso, ¿no?"

Jose lifts the lid of the terrarium up. He reaches a massive hand down towards Alejandro. Alejandro wants to climb up and away, but the walls are too smooth. They're closing in. All that there is is the hand, ready to grab him, crush him, throttle him, any variety of things.

He can do nothing to stop it. He was a fool for ever thinking he could. He closes his eyes shut in an instinctive fear he can't hold back anymore. He's hoping he can bring himself to fight. He's silently begging for his brother to be merciful enough to make it quick.

The hand that grabs him is much more gentle than he expects. He struggles to be free, but the grip is tight enough to stop much movement. There is no squeeze. It is weight without malice, and cool to the touch.

He feels something the size of a tree trunk gently brush his hair away from his face. He lets out a gasp of air he had been craving for far too long. He tries to open his eyes. He feels the tears sweat from earlier is sticking his eyelids shut. He shudders. His arms are pinned, so he can't move to fix wipe his eyes.

Suddenly, he's being moved higher and higher. He hears steady flapping from above. The pace is slow enough to where the wind is just a gentle breeze soothing his clammy skin.

He feels his captor descending, and he's unceremoniously dropped to the ground. He wipes his eyes and stands up. He's dressed to the nines. He sees other figures roaming about. He can see how they sneak a glance his way, then happily chitter amongst themselves.

"Mijo, no te quedes ahí parado," his mother says as she suddenly slips through the crowd. This is how he remembers this is a dream. His mother would never refer to him so colloquially, "Entra, tu juramento está por comenzar."

"Un momento, madre. Hay algo que debo hacer primero."

She clucks her tongue, another informal mark of unreality, and leaves him be.

Alejandro turned around, but all he could see were faceless guests.

"You can come out. I know you're here." Alejandro felt the ground behind him quake slightly, and turned to look up at Noah.

"Sure you want to waste your time with me? The dream isn't going to last forever."

"What did you do?"

"Took you out of your own nightmare. Brought you into one of José's dreams. And before you throw a fit, this is one he already let me have. He's nowhere here."

"Alright, that brings me to my next question. Why?"

"Is it really so hard to believe I did something out of the goodness of my miserable excuse of a heart?"

"Sí."

"You're ridiculous," Noah groaned, rolling his eyes. "Fine, I did it because it's easier to get you sleeping if you actually want to sleep. Happy with that answer? Or do you want me to pull out my five step plan for sabotaging you?"

"Well, a little presentation would go a long way~" Alejandro teased. He was finally comfortable enough to find his own voice again.

"And congratulations, you've made me regret doing anything. I'm going back to insulting you the second you wake up."

"You can try, and it still won't work."

"It will. Now go on, you've got the rest of this dream and that's it."

Alejandro left Noah to go explore the rest of the ceremony of achieving the same position of his father as a Spanish ambassador.

He wakes up to find a small Noah clinging onto his chest. The demon had somehow managed to wriggle his way under one of Alejandro's arms and was using it as a blanket. He's still fast asleep. Alejandro tests how asleep by moving his arm slightly. Noah clings tighter to the arm, but otherwise doesn't stir.

Alejandro could just stand up. That would definitely force the smaller boy awake. ...But, as loathe as he is to admit, Noah did help him. So, possibly for the first time in his life, he decides to sleep in rather than wake up for his daily morning routine.

Noah grows a few inches, matching the height of Alejandro's knee, during their nap.

The two are still antagonistic towards each other, but it's nowhere near as bad as when they first met. Alejandro lords over Noah in the waking world, and Noah returns the favor in the dreaming. There is one added wrinkle, though.

Thanks to Alejandro's moment of weakness, Noah has gained the ability force Alejandro into taking a nap. It can only happen when he's already feeling tired, whether physically or mentally thanks to studying, or if he's doing a mindless task.

It's some of the best sleep Alejandro has ever had.

It aggravates him to no end.

When Noah isn't trying to convince Alejandro to give up on his dreams, he's either sleeping, or is reading one of the many books in the Burromuerto library if that's where Alejandro has decided to study.

Alejandro notices Noah struggling when he tries to get books to read due to his size. He offers to grab a book for Noah to bribe him into leaving Alejandro alone for this study session. Noah immediately starts taking advantage of this by questioning Alejandro about what kinds of books he has. Noah might as well get a book based on its contents rather than its weight.

The two start getting into book recommendations. Alejandro sweetens the deal by gifting Noah one of the books he no longer reads to get peace for as long as it takes for Noah to read the book. Noah accepts immediately and will cling to the book with his entire body when Alejandro tries to help him lift the book.

No. This is Noah's book now. No one else is allowed to touch it.

He's so possessive because human things are hard to come by in the demon realm. Only greed demons are able to carry human things back to the demon realm, so they've of course got a monopoly of jacked up prices. The only exception is if a demon properly owns a human thing. Or in this case, is gifted one.

So yeah, Noah will agree to let Alejandro touch it to carry it, but he's watching that thing like a hawk.

A few weeks pass like this. Eventually, José butts his way into Alejandro's life as he usually does. He gloats that their parents are planning to host a party for José to start making connections now as he's properly starting on his journey to becoming an ambassador.

The second he's gone, Noah and Alejandro start bonding by shit talking José.

Alejandro justifies trying so hard so that he can finally one up José. It's why he won't give in to sloth. Nothing good ever comes of doing nothing. Besides, it's one of the weakest of the sins, so it will be easy enough to overcome.

Noah argues that sloth isn't as terrible as Alejandro makes it out to be. It means actually getting rest when everything is overwhelming rather than chugging on through to crash and burn later. Taking a step back and doing nothing can lead to new ideas popping up because there is no longer stress preventing them. Hell, some innovation comes from humans being lazy and wanting a better way to do things.

Like any of the other sins, it's only bad when done in excess. And it can be worse than just being lazy. Having too much sloth means having too much apathy. Horrible people get away with atrocities when enough people are too lazy to do anything about it. It means nothing changes because nobody wants to change.

Noah reveals that underestimating sloth is exactly how José has absolutely screwed himself. José has given up his ability to dream. He thinks the only definition of that are his literal dreams at night, and that's what Noah has been feeding on so far.

They also mean his dreams about being an ambassador. His dreams of more. Dreams are heavily linked with desire and ambition. By the time Noah's done with him, José will be nothing more than a walking husk. He'll do the bare minimum needed to survive, but nothing more. Knowing he should long for something else but being unable to.

The only reason he hasn't done so immediately is if he does take it fully, it means his deal would be over, and no more being in the human realm.

This does remind Alejandro that he is having a casual conversation with a demon. Despite their current pleasantries, it would be a terrible thing to watch Noah get more creative in his interpretations of his deal with José. It's safer to keep him entertained than to let his mind wander.

It doesn't hurt that entertaining Noah has led to riveting conversation.

Still, he comes up with an idea to control Noah, and get himself some much deserved revenge. He asks if he could actually make a deal with Noah to get back at José.

Unfortunately Noah can't. Not because he doesn't want to. He's got no issues with taking José down a peg. He's just unable to make a deal with more than one human at a time. There are conflict of interest rules in place. Even if there weren't, he's still a teenager. He's not powerful enough to make multiple deals at a time yet.

But he knows a demon who'd be willing to help out.

Her name's Eva. She's a wrath demon. She's pretty straightforward. Tell her exactly what you want, and she won't try to screw with you so long as you don't do the same to her.

Alejandro is concerned about what her price would be, but he isn't going to say that directly. Instead, he comes up with a different plan to solve this in a way better than his brother had.

He asks about what kinds of things that Eva likes. Noah did mention that human objects were more difficult to come by in the demon world, yes? Alejandro could give something concrete rather than abstract. Everyone wins.

Noah doesn't say anything, but Alejandro can tell that Noah is impressed that he remembered something Noah had said. He must not have much chance to show off his knowledge in the demon realm.

Noah tells him that she likes music. All she's been able to scavenge is a very old, shitty MP3. Phones are more easy to come by, but with no service they're practically worthless. Besides, Eva's chill when she's not fully committing her job.

His only condition is Alejandro's going to have to agree to forget how to summon Eva after they've done the ritual. Eva doesn't like just anybody summoning her, and Noah respects that enough to not share it with others without her permission.

Alejandro agrees.

When the final word is spoken, he waits. And waits. and waits. It feels like he's been waiting for at least an hour. He's going to tap a hole in the floor with anticipation at this rate.

It can't be taking this long. The longer he waits, the longer José gets to prance around consequence-free. He deserves no peace for what he's put Alejandro through. His lips curl in disgust at the thought of his brother getting rewarded for all of his misdeeds. He wants to call his brother over, right here, right now. Just so he can throttle José himself-

"What do you want?" asked the demon who now stood in front of him. Her arms were crossed, and she looked annoyed to even be looking at him. Alejandro had to shake his head to head to let go of the pent-up rage he had suddenly developed.

"Hey iron woman." Noah commented from his current perch on a nearby bookshelf. Eva turned her attention away from Alejandro to see the smaller demon.

"Noah." Eva commented as she acknowledged him with a nod. Noah's face was still set with apathy, and Eva's with annoyance.

Yet Noah was wrapping his tail around his leg to prevent it from wagging as furiously as Eva's was.

"So, what do you want?" Eva repeated. The edge to her tone was dulled this time.

"I would like to make a deal with you. My brother is going to be at the center of a gala recently. I know he doesn't think as highly of others as he will pretend, so I would just like your help in making him more...honest about his true feelings." Noah sighed at this answer.

"You want a truth spell?" Eva asked. She turned to pay attention to Noah before Alejandro could form a response. "Why would you summon me for this?"

"He wants you to make his brother throw the rage fit to end all rage fits in front of an international audience."

"Then why didn't he just say that?"

"Because he doesn't know how to follow instructions."

"Then why'd you bring me a stupid one?" Eva asked Noah.

Alejandro had to bite his lip to stop himself from interrupting. He was being both ignored and insulted. He couldn't let this be his impression on anybody.

However, Noah knew this demon, while he did not. She clearly valued Noah's opinion over his own, so countering his opinion now would only serve to shut her off further from responding to the Spaniard.

"He has his moments," Noah replied, "Plus, you're going to like what he has to offer."

"Well?" Eva asked, turning her attention back to Alejandro.

"As Noah so tactfully implied, I do plan to offer a fair price," Alejandro said, glad to have control of the conversation again. He pulled out a small device he'd performed quite a bit of research to get his hands on. "I've heard that you are in need of more music. I have managed to find a top of the line mp3 player-"

"How many songs?" Eva interrupted. She was looking directly at Alejandro now.

"If I had to guess? A little over 20,000."

Eva's tail immediately dropped. He could see her mind move from processing that number, to grappling it, to understanding it. Her eyes shone with anticipation that she didn't bother to hide. Her tail was practically causing a minor tornado. Her hands were half clenched and shaking as if she was five seconds away from snatching the prized jewel Alejandro held in his hands.

"Ice Nine Kills."

"Hm?"

"Ice Nine Kills. Silver Scream 2: Welcome to Horrorwood. We're moving up from there. Now gimme."

"Well, hold on. We still need to work out some of the finer details-"

"Fine, sure, we have the deal, whatever you want now give it to me."

Alejandro had to hide the smirk that was threatening to form on his face. He had no idea his offer would work this perfectly. All he had to do was seal-

"Eva!" Noah snapped. "You just offered a human 'whatever they want' in a deal."

"...Oh." Eva realized.

"Yeah, 'oh'." Noah glanced at Alejandro. "And don't think I didn't see that look in your eyes. I'm proctoring your deal."

"But-" both Eva and Alejandro tried to argue.

"It's happening."

With that, the two negotiated for a fair deal. Eva could stay in the human realm specifically to download as many songs as she wanted for her mp3 player, and to help Alejandro in his revenge. After that, she'd go back, and the mp3 player would be hers forever.

They both agree to it, and the deal is set. Noah and Eva spend some time catching up while Eva searches for music. Noah insists on catching up in private, which he obliges. After two failed attempts to eavesdrop.

The three of them plan exactly how to best humiliate José. Alejandro hadn't known quite what to expect with Eva, but he was pleasantly surprised. Her ideas were simple, direct, and brutal. They contrasted with Alejandro and Noah's more elaborate plans until they came to a consensus.

The party happens, and everything is set in place. Eva is invisible to everyone else, and is preparing elsewhere. Alejandro just needs to stay away from his brother so he doesn't realize something is amiss with Noah.

Alejandro knows that this is the perfect time to put himself out there. Especially since José's reputation is about to be shattered. He'll be remembered as the good Burromuerto this time around. Talking comes as second nature to him. All he has to do is talk, and just ignore Noah.

Noah, who's not having a good time at this party. Despite being invisible, his eyes are darting around everywhere as if they could see him. Thanks to being invisible, he's constantly having to avoid feet stepping on him. He's sticking as closely as he can to Alejandro, though he's not commenting on it at all.

Alejandro excuses himself to go to a more quiet part of the mansion forbidden to guests. Noah's visibly more relaxed as they get farther away from the crowd. But he does ask what Alejandro's doing.

Alejandro attempts to lie about being the one who needed space, but Noah shuts him down since he could see Alejandro lighting up when he talked to others. Alejandro will confess to noticing Noah and leaving since he knew Noah would follow. Their new partnership won't do well if one of them is in a near state of panic.

...Consider it returning the favor for the nightmare, if that helps.

Noah's quiet as he recognizes that this human is showing the closest thing to compassion that he can muster. He wants to say something, but the time of José's humiliation is nearing, and he wants to be there to see it. Alejandro makes his way back inside. He keeps Noah calm in the crowd by having him perch on his shoulder, and quietly making fun of the guests as they pass.

Eventually, José's breakdown begins. It works gloriously. He's swearing at other ambassadors. He's throwing things. At one point he's about to let loose of of the skeletons in the Burromuerto's family closet, but he's dragged away before he can. Alejandro has to hide his laughter, though Noah has no need to.

Unfortunately, it means that Noah has broken the deal on his end because he's intentionally let Alejandro beat Jose in something: not causing an international scandal. He gets pulled back to the demon realm and as punishment, can't answer any summons for at least a year unless it's for him specifically.

Alejandro's heartbroken to have Noah ripped away from him. He'd grown rather fond of having the demon around. He can't ask Eva for more help because she disappeared once José's scandal ended. He tries to find the book José used to summon Noah, but it was shredded. José was smart enough to guess that a demon had something to do with his irrational behavior.

Alejandro spends the next few weeks obsessing over finding the right summoning circle. His grades are slipping the tiniest amount, and he can't bring himself to care. He forces himself to sleep. He hopes that will somehow increase his chances of finding Noah. They feel empty without Noah to watch. He has no idea how to find one for Noah specifically, though he certainly does try. He settles for the next best thing: trying a generic summoning circle with the first gift Alejandro gave him as a conduit. Maybe he could at least find a demon who'd be willing to make a deal to help him get in touch with Noah.

This is incredibly dangerous and stupid, but the risk is worth it.

His stomach growls as he finishes the circle. He's been so focused on his work. He doesn't remember the last time he's eaten. He could leave to grab a quick bite-

No, no. He knows what this is. These thoughts aren't his. They can't be Noah's either. Noah's never cared much for-

stuffing his face until he can take no more. His body is a temple, and it deserves to be lavished. He's salivating, and must force himself not to run for the kitchen.

He's rewarded for his discipline with a large, blond demon who calls himself Owen.

He explains the situation to Owen, but no sooner does he utter Noah's name that Owen lights up.

"Ooooh, YOU'RE AL!!!"

Owen immediately starts going on about how Noah's his best friend. Which confuses Alejandro. He'd assumed Eva was Noah's best friend. She was stoic, blunt, and had common sense. She made sense.

This oaf with no volume control did not.

Owen keeps going on regardless of Alejandro's thought process. He completely outs Noah as being a mess thinking he'd never see Alejandro again. Noah was sleeping even harder than was normal for him, he was talking about Alejandro a lot you name it!

So of course Owen will be happy to get the two connected again!

Owen does want to give Alejandro Noah's summoning circle/number, but Alejandro did summon him so it does have to be some kind of deal. Uh...What's the nearest snack he's got? Owen'll take that.

He shares the information, then immediately leaves to go tell his little buddy that Alejandro plans to summon him.

Alejandro changes the circle to summon Noah with fervor.

When Alejandro summons Noah he feels as if every worry he's ever had has melted away. He wants to lay his head on Noah's lap and look up at him. He wants to reach up and tease his fingers through Noah's hair. He wants to trick Noah into leaning down so they can share a kiss and shift to nuzzling together. No more fighting to be on top. Just this once.

They're both blushing when Noah does get summoned because uh they both felt THAT. Neither of them meant that to be the way to confess but uh, whoops.

The two make a deal: "I'll help you get revenge on Jose until you're satisfied (knowing that with Alejandro, he never will be), and you'll let me stay in the human realm for as long as I want."

"Change that to for as long as I live."

"Still don't trust me?"

"I have to put some limits on you mi gatito travioso. Besides, now I know you have an investment in keeping me alive."

"You're terrible."

"Says the demon."

There are many ways to seal a deal with a demon.

They seal this one with a kiss.

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collapsedglasshouses · 7 months

Note

hello! 💕 i love your writing so much! i usually don’t make requests but i was wondering if you could do like a cute cozy night in with noah??? maybe wine drunk, handsy, cuddles, and some smut if you are comfy doing that? :) i can see him getting a lil handsy and affectionate but also saying sweet things. i just love the idea. thank you :)

Lips Like Wine [Noah Sebastian x Reader]

A/N: Such a cute request and exactly what I need right now. Thank you for requesting! ♡

PAIRING: Noah Sebastian x fem!Reader

SUMMARY: When Noah surprises Y/N with her favourite snacks and wine, she didn’t expect the night to evolve like it did.

WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol consumption, NSFW, oral sex (female receiving), swearing, ...

TAGLIST: @measuredingold (if you wanna become part of my taglist in general, pls let me know and i love @measuredingold , did I already say ily , @measuredingold ?)

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The ring of your bell woke you up at around 11 PM.

To your surprise, you found yourself on your couch with your favorite blanket wrapped around you. You must have slept in after dinner because your favorite show was still quietly playing on your TV.

You mumbled tiredly while getting up and making your way to the door. After a quick look through your door viewer, a little smile grew on your face, and you opened the door excitedly.

"What are you doing here, sir?" You asked your friend, who had a shy smile on his face, before revealing your favorite snacks and a bottle of wine he held behind your back.

"Did I wake you?" He wanted to know and gave you an apologetic look when you nodded slightly.

"Don't be sorry, work was catastrophic today." You let him in before he laid down his goodies and quickly wrapped his arms around you. You let out a satisfied hum while rubbing his back. "I missed you, Noah." - "Believe me, I missed you more."

You first met Noah last summer while they toured with A Day To Remember. You had been hired as the tour co-manager, meaning you knew about everything and everyone. Likewise, you somehow ended up keeping a tradition after the show where you would meet after the official celebrations and eat a couple of snacks together while getting wine drunk.

Something, however, had changed over the last few months. You and your ex-boyfriend, whom you had been dating for over four years, broke up right after said tour, causing you and Noah to become even closer. You weren't mad about it, the fact of the breakup was that you two had definitely fallen out of love. You noticed when you stopped seeking closeness with your ex-boyfriend.

What worried you, though, was how easily you started to crave those touches from Noah. Every time you were together, you felt like you needed to be closer to him. Your favorite thing to do at the moment was watch silly little movies with him when you had rough days. Keeping this in mind, you were more than happy to see him standing there, surprising you with what you needed the most.

"Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be on the other side of the country?" You asked him after getting two wine glasses and sitting down on your couch. Noah scratched his back lightly before he started to smile.

"We had a couple of days off, and I was in desperate need of one of our wine nights." He confessed, making you blush a little.

They were on tour at the moment, so you didn't expect to see him again until mid-October. There were a couple of moments of silence before you raised your voice again. "Do you wanna watch a Ghibli Studio Film?" - "I thought you'd never ask!"

It took you less than ten minutes before the two of you laid under your blanket, sipping on your wine glasses while eating sour gummy worms and watching Howl's Moving Castle.

In all honesty, the movie was entirely irrelevant to you. Your eyes were glued to Noah's lips while he told you about the concerts that had already happened.

"How have your days been?" He then asked you while putting your glasses back on the table. "Actually, pretty boring. Except today, I couldn't finish anything at work." - "If you wanna sleep, I can go. It's really no prob-… " - "I'II drag your ass back to my couch if you try to leave." You interrupt your friend and grab his thigh over the blanket, causing him to look down at it for a moment.

You immediately noticed it and tried to put your hand away, but he quickly held it in place. The temperature in the room instantly rose, and you felt this pleasant tingle in your stomach.

You tried to defuse the rising tension by taking his hand in yours and looking at the tattoos on his hand, as if you hadn't done that hundreds of times before. Noah chuckled when he noticed you beginning to analyze the drawings on his hands again.

Swiftly, he started drawing small circles on your hand. "Do you see something new?" His tone was teasing. He knew exactly what was going on, and it bugged you how he could handle everything so well, while you almost literally melted at everything he did.

Honestly, you had already given up on Noah feeling anything at all for you beyond friendship. You just accepted your little get-togethers and enjoyed his company, even if it cost you your sanity.

That's why it shocked you when Noah's hand gently brushed up your arm, giving you goosebumps. Your thoughts began to race as you froze. You were sure it was the wine speaking out of Noah's mouth when his hand landed under your chin. You felt yourself shiver slightly under his touch, and you started to crave it even more.

Without even noticing, you slightly leaned into his touch. Your thoughts were having a race. You knew you needed to pull away, but this single touch made you feel like pudding next to him.

You let him turn your head to face him. You looked him in the face. He had cut his hair shorter than usual. At first, you were a bit skeptical about it, but the longer you looked at him, the more you liked it. You wanted nothing more than to run your hands through it.

Then your eyes wandered. His eyes looked sleepy, while the dark brown of his irises nearly looked black. His cheeks were slightly flushed, and his lips were slightly parted, while his gaze was fixated on your lips.

You thought you were dreaming when his thumbs lightly brushed over your lips.

"You think I didn't notice, am I right?" Noah almost whispered while his gaze was still fixated on your lips. You didn't know what to say. Even if you knew, you were sure your body would betray you.

You needed all your strength not to crumble into pieces right in front of him.

You knew you felt this weird attraction to him for way longer than you wanted to admit, but you didn't know how down bad you were for him. "This all has changed, am I right?" Noah then asked, and you swallowed hard while he stroked your cheek. You resisted the need to lean into his touch again. You couldn't let him win this easily.

"Please tell me to stop, Y/N." He then almost cried out while leaning closer to you. Your heart started to race even faster. You knew you should have pulled away, but everything in you needed him closer.

"Kiss me." You breathed out when your noses were almost touching. "You know I won't be able to stop." - "Than don't."

With that, it was over for the both of you.

His lips crashed into yours. You could taste the wine in his mouth while your hands landed on his chest and slowly made their way up to his neck. With a swift motion, he lifted you onto his lap. His hands instantly found their way under your shirt, while yours ran through his dark hair. Shortly after, your shirt found its way to your living room floor, leaving you in nothing but your underwear.

His hands roamed your body while he started kissing your neck. You felt like you were burning.

"We shouldn't do this." You almost moaned when his kisses reached your collarbone. He looked up at you through his eyelashes, almost making you crumble into small pieces. "Then tell me to stop."

Your eyes locked while he placed small, soft kisses on your chest. "Tell me, Y/N, tell me to stop." Noah whispered and leaned closer to your face again. His hands found your hips and grabbed them harshly. You breathed out a small breath while he slowly started to move your hips. You felt how hard he was and couldn't believe it. It felt like the perfect fever dream.

"Go on, tell me how you don't want me to fuck you." Noah almost groaned. "Tell me how you haven't thought about it every fucking time we met up in the last months." You swallowed hard.

You were an open book to him. It felt like he read every single page of yours. You couldn't be silent any longer. "Fuck, you know I can't. You moaned out when his hand found your waistband, and before you knew it, he flipped the both of you over.

With that, he kissed his way down your body and stopped at your waistband. "Let's get these off, love." He spoke in a low tone that made you shiver while his fingers tangled in the lace of your panties. You lifted your hips, and he quickly pulled them off, throwing them over the backrest of your couch. In a swift motion, he grabbed your hips again, pulling you closer to him and immediately connecting his mouth with your pussy.

You whimpered as his tongue licked up your slit, swirling around your clit. It doesn't take him long to introduce his fingers, plunging two inside of you and moving them at a pace that made you squirm.

"Look at you." Noah spoke against you, causing you to buck up your hips. "Fuck, I can't get enough of you." He almost moaned and let out a small laugh.

You looked down at him between your legs, and your eyes met. His pupils were blown wide and sparkling in amusement. You didn't respond to him; you just watched him as his mouth worked against you and his fingers massaged your sweet spot inside, drawing all sorts of whimpers and moans from your lungs.

The pleasure kept building and building, the tension becoming a hot blur inside of you, until Noah's mouth suddenly stopped completely.

A frustrated cry escaped your mouth while you looked at him. You were this close to complaining to him when he suddenly stood up and reached to bring you to your feet.

"This is only the beginning, Y/N"

And with that, you found your way to your bedroom...

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#noah sebastian x reader #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #bad omens fic #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian fanfic #bad omens rpf #collapsedglasshouseswrites

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erikiara80 · 1 month

Text

About Will

Last year the Duffers said that in S5 Will takes center stage again, and now they're even telling us how the season starts, with the flashback of Will in the UD. That's why I think the reveals about him should be huge, like the ones about Henry and El in S4.

This makes me happy. Will and his story are my favorite thing, and I have so many questions.

Was Will really just in the wrong place at the wrong time, a random victim who later became the brother of Vecna's actual target, Eleven?

Maybe. But I'll be honest, I think this would be disappointing. Most of the audience already believes that. All these years, all the mystery surrounding Will, and in the end it was just to hide Vecna, who was introduced in S4, so when we see S5 it's not even a plot twist anymore? Hm.

There could be an interesting parallel with Henry winding up in Dimension X tho. Wrong place at the wrong time. But Henry developed powers. What about Will, who ended up in the UD? Also, if he was just in the wrong place, why did they make his abduction so different from all the other attacks? It's just because it was the first one and they wanted it to be cool? Again, disappointing, imo. And if the reason was just "make the scene cool", I don't know why in other seasons they kept making parallels between the Demogorgon opening the Byers' door, something it only does in 1x01, and El opening a LOT of doors with telekinesis.

I think it's more likely that Will's flashbacks in S5 will be like El's flashbacks in S4. They made us believe that Eleven killed all the other numbers, only to reveal later that it's not what really happened. I expect something like that for Will too. Maybe at first, everything seems to confirm that he was just a random victim, and then we find out that it's not true. Or he was a random victim, but then, like Henry, he developed psychic abilities.

Speaking of that

Does Will have powers or not?

I am a Will-has-powers truther, this is not a mystery lol. But does it make sense in the story? (some thoughts here) Does he have powers like Harry Potter, or the Turtle (here), or Bastian, or he's like Peter Bishop, Marty McFly and Frodo Baggins? Noah said that Will's superpower is his heart, but you know, you can have that and also powers. Plus, in S4 they connect the concept of time travel to emotions, so if there's a timeloop or something like that, and Will's name is on the grandfather clock...

Maybe his abilities are different from anything we've seen. Maybe something more connected to the UD. I'm just saying, why making him a wizard/cleric, if he's just a normal kid?

For example, they never really explained why he's still so connected to Vecna and, I suspect, the UD (because he is also like Radagast, and the kid in Poltergeist, who gets kidnapped because of her powers) Yes, Max seems to have answered that question: when Vecna makes a psychic connection, you are marked. In fact, at some point she even says that she can still feel him. But when she's in his mind lair, she doesn't feel his thoughts. She says that he was surprised and didn't want her there... but he actually says that. Also, they would really answer the questions about the big mystery of Will's connection to Vecna like that, when he's not even the focus of the scene?

That's why I think the answer is more complex for him. Max can't feel Vecna's thoughts or feelings, Will can, like Harry can feel Voldemort. Could the reason be that he was connected to the hive mind? We can't be sure, he's the only one who survived a possession. There are no particles left in his body (as far as we know) or he would've died in S2. So, why is the connection still there and so strong, that the moment he's back in Hawkins, he can feel that Vecna is hurting and wants to destroy everything?

Why in S2 Will knows that the evil wants to kill everyone but him? And why would Vecna/Mind Flayer want to kill everyone but a random kid with no powers, whose only ability was to hide from a monster for a week? Henry Creel considered all the lab kids, people with powers, inferior to himself and Eleven, but for some reason he wanted a sensitive child who's just good at hiding? It doesn't make sense to me.

In the game, they seem to give us the answer. Well, they don't explain if Will was just in the wrong place at the wrong time on Nov 6, but they say that the reason he is the key and Vecna wants him, is that he wants to use him to find Eleven.

If this is true... Henry/Vecna needed Eleven to open a door, so he makes her make a psychic contact with a Demogorgon. When the gate opens, he lets the creature kidnap/kill random people. Then realizes that he can find Eleven, if he uses the only victim he is letting hide in the UD because, reasons. But when she finally is in the void with Will, instead of killing her, he interrupts the contact with Will, goes to Castle Byers, takes him to the library, and impregnates him with a little Demogorgon. And then? What would've happened if Joyce hadn't found Will? We still don't know if the tendril was killing him or giving him oxigen, like the facehugger does in Alien (the parallel with Sarah could be a hint tho), because we don't know what happened to Barb. If she died in the pool and then was taken to the library, or if it's the tendril that killed her.

If Will was actually dying, then the answer in the game doesn't make sense. If Vecna just wants to use him to find and kill Eleven, he wouldn't have tried to kill him. Unless that whole process was supposed to turn Will into Zombie Boy, a creature of the UD, similar to Vecna, who could find Eleven. That's a bit complicated, tho.

Not to mention the whole possession in S2. Again, let's say that Vecna didn't want to kill Will in the library, but just turn him into a monster. He failed. So, when Will is home, he makes him have visions, then possesses him, with the intent of killing everyone but him. Because he wants him to find and spy Eleven. But in the 1959 flashback, in TFS, and in the game, we see that Henry can read any mind. So, sorry but why does he need Will, specifically, to find Eleven?

Also, if the particles can just possess you in a vision and then appear in our world, why didn't they possess more people? Easier to find El, and even if you lose Will, you still have the others. It's what the Mind Flayer does in S3. The big difference? In S3 the particles are already in our world.

So I wonder if Will is the only one Vecna/Mind Flayer can possess like that, because they were already connected before the possession

Ok, in S3, the Mind Flayer takes a guy named William because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. And then he uses him to build a monster that finds Eleven and takes her powers. So, maybe the 'wrong place, wrong time' is true, but the rest... is interesting. Jonathan says that they built Castle Byers the way Will drew it, and MindFlayer!Billy tells Billy to build what he sees. Also interesting that there are two Billies. It reminds me of If I go there will be trouble, and if I stay it will be double (different timelines, twin imagery, Henry and Edward, Richard and Martin. And Will and Eleven?)

So, my theory is that Will and El are more connected than it seems, and that's why Vecna needs Will. And maybe he is also using him to "build" his army, and make the UD spread? I don't know.

But for all these reasons, I think it would make more sense if Will wasn't just a random victim, or at least he's developed some ability.

Will has parallels with Cerebro (here) and Nancy says that the lights came to life when he was in the UD, a parallel to what Steve says in S3, (Let there be light) after Will senses the Mind Flayer for the first time at the mall. When he's watching a zombie movie. There's also that beautiful theory (I don't remember who posted it, sorry) about Will being connected to the light particles and using them to destroy the black particles of the Mind Flayer.

Light particles that look like fairy dust -> Will being called fairy. Lights that come to life -> a battery

I think I've found some big hint that this theory might be correct. Anyway, it seems that Will is connected to the very existence of the UD. Not saying he created it, but if lights came to life when he was there, maybe if they interrupt the connection, that place, whatever it is, will cease to exist.

#st s5 spoilers #st s5 #will byers #will has powers #el hopper #henry creel #the first shadow spoilers #st: tfs #st s5 theory #st vecna #st analysis #st parallels #stranger things

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gaysindistress · 10 months

Text

Dial Drunk - part 2 of Fine Line

Pairing: Mafia!Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings: angst and the feels oh and Peggy Carter slander

Word count: 2.1k words

Master list

Fine line 1 & Cocaine Jesus 3

Tag list: @vickie5446 @cakesandtom

a/n: I love a good song fic. Dial Drunk by Noah Kahan sponsors this fic so I highly suggest you listen to it.

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on Google/Pinterest

“Son, is there someone I can call for you?” the Sheriff asks while half dragging and carrying a drunk Steve into the station. Under the dead weight of the mafia boss, the elderly Sheriff struggles to get them inside as the rain pelts them so hard, he’s expecting there to be bruises on both of them.

Steve mumbles something as his head lolls to the side but the other man cannot make out a single word or number for that matter. At the door, he waves to his deputies to him with the door and he all but drops Steve onto his younger deputies.

“Son, I don’t know your name. Where is your wallet or your phone?”

Steve shoves his hand into his coat pocket which sends all of them into high alert but it’s all false as he dumps the asked for items onto a desk. The Sheriff gets to work to figure out his name and find an emergency contact or anything at all that might be helpful.

“Alright, Mr. Rogers,” he announces as he types away at a computer, no doubt pulling up Steve’s criminal record as well as his contacts, “Should I call a Mrs. Margaret Carter Rogers? Is that still current?”

Steve scoffs at the name as he falls into a seat next to the Sheriff, “My own wife hates me.”

A deputy gives the Sheriff a look but he ignores it and calls the number nonetheless. Steve slumps back into the hard chair and drops his head back in attempts of sleeping off the horrendous hangover he’s going to have. The phone rings and rings, leaving him with just the dial tone as Peggy ignores the call. They try again but nothing happens. She ignores the call. They try a third time and finally she answers.

“Hello?” her accented voice wakes Steve.

“Hi is this Mrs. Margaret Carter Rogers?”

She snorts, “Not anymore. If this is about Steve, call someone else. I don’t care”

The dial tone replaces her voice and all of the officers look at each other in disbelief.

“Did… Did she just hang up?” the same deputy asks.

The sheriff clears his throat and brushes over his thick gray mustache as he thinks about what to do next.

“I told you she hates me,” Steve pipes up, “Wasted your time.”

“Is there anyone else we can call?”

He shrugs, “She won’t answer either.”

Behind them two deputies are whispering to each other about how wrong it was of Peggy to hang up but quickly stop when the Sheriff gives them a pointed look.

“Maybe SHE will answer. What’s her name and number?” He extends the phone out to Steve who drops it and has to slowly reach down to pick it up. It takes him longer than usual to open it and find the number of the woman whose house he practically ran from. After he left Y/N’s house, he found the nearest bar and drank the place out of anything that would numb the rejection pain. For ten years, he dreamed of nothing but seeing his girl again and when he finally did, his past decisions ruined any chance of a relationship with her again. For ten years, he resented Peggy, his father, his mother even and himself for not fighting harder for Y/N. For ten years, he regretted everything he had done and prayed that somehow he could go back in time to just be with her.

“Y/N hates me too.”

Still the sheriff dials the number and hopes that this mystery woman will answer the phone. It rings five times and they’re all beginning to think that this will be a repeat of the first call but she does answer.

Her voice is raw from crying but she answers, “Hello?”

“Hi ma'am, is this Y/n?”

“Yes, how can I help you?”

“Well ma’am, this is the Kings County sheriff department. I’m Sheriff Anderson. I have Steve Rogers here and he’s going to be held overnight in the drunk tank or you can come pick him up.”

“Shit, okay. Um…” there’s a long pause but they can hear her shuffling around, “I can be there in 45 minutes, is that okay?”

“Yes of course ma’am. We appreciate you answering the phone so late and coming right away.”

“Uh… yeah no problem I guess,” she mumbles something else but Steve doesn’t catch it.

Anderson motions to his deputies and has them take Steve to a cell while he waits. He’s half asleep and even heavier than before as they haul him into his own cell. Next to him is another lonely drunk stranger who was ignored and left to figure their shit out alone. Regardless he can’t be bothered to care and he shucks off his overcoat to use it as a pillow. Crossing his arms over his chest and his legs over each other, he settles into a short nap while he waits for Y/N. A part of him isn’t even sure that she is actually coming and he’s starting to convince himself that she never answered the door in the first place. She’s not coming to take him home…there's no home where they live together. There is no place where they love and support each other because he destroyed that when he married Peggy. Tears begin to grow heavy on his eyes but he won’t allow himself to cry over the past no matter how recent it might be.

He pulls his arms tighter across himself and rolls over so that his back faces outwards. With his face hidden, the tears start to fall against his will and he does nothing to stop them even though just moments ago he vowed that the past wouldn’t bother him. He doesn’t try to wipe them and lets the pain metastasize in his body, growing a tumor of emotions that can’t be cured by anything.

Time slips away from him as the memories and hurt wash over him. Anderson clears his throat to get Steve’s attention and starts to unlock the cell’s door.

“We took his keys so you can drive it home if you didn’t bring your own car,” Anderson says to Y/N.

She smiles and nods, taking the keys from him and clutching them as she stares at the sad excuse of a man laying on the bed. Steve wipes at his eyes and groans as he slides off of the hard jail bed. Shaking out his pillow coat, he puts it on before making eye contact with her. She sighes at him and thanks Anderson for all that he’s done even though it’s not procedure. When Steve stands, he sways and she’s quick to catch him, waving off Anderson who offers to take him. They don’t say anything to each other as she acts as his crutch and walk towards his car. She fumbles with the keys and drops them.

“Lean on the car,” she tells him as she bends down to pick them up, “Do you need my help getting in?”

He furrows his brow like a toddler, “No I can do it myself.”

Shaking her head at him, she unlocks the car and lets him struggle to fold his large body into the passenger side. She slides into the driver’s side and takes a deep breath. Never again did she think that she would dealing with Steve let alone driving his car as he’s almost black out drunk in the passagner seat.

He mumbles something along the lines of “It’s a remote start.”

Y/N hums her understanding and finds the button. It blinks to life and heavy metal music greets them at an unbearable volume. He whimpers at the noise and slams his hand onto the power button to turn it off as quick as he can. Satisfied that the offending noise has stopped, he curls into himself against the window and rests his head on the cool glass.

“Did you put your seat belt on?”

He answers by puling the belt over himself and clicking it into place.

She backs out of the spot and leaves the Sheriff’s station behind. Silence fills the space around them as the street lights and porch lights pass through the window. The lights splash across her face and unbeknownst to her, Steve is stealing glances at her through the window’s reflection. What little he can see of her breaks his heart even more as he can see the fatigue and hurt tense in her features. Her hair, usually styled and pristine, has been hastily clipped up with a claw clip that’s holding on for dear life. Under the long winter coat she’s wearing is just a pair of pj pants and a white crop top. She’s not even really wearing shoes but instead a pair of worn down clogs that should only be worn inside. Seeing how vulnerable she is, he can’t help himself grow protective and upset that she left in such a hurry.

“I hope you drove,” slips out albeit slurred.

“What?” she asks, quickly looking over at him.

“I said I hope you drove.”

“Why does it matter?”

“Do you see what you’re wearing?”

She blinks and scoffs at him, “I just picked your drunk ass up at 2 am and you want to lecture me about my clothing choices.”

“That’s not what I….”

She cuts him off, “Stop. You’re sleeping on the couch and I expect you to be gone when I wake up.”

“Honey.”

“Don’t. I already made myself clear earlier; I want nothing to do with you. I should’ve left you at the stupid station,” she mumbles the last part to herself but he still hears it and sews his mouth shut. The rest of the car ride back to her house is quiet aside from the normal noise of the car and the city.

She wants to regret hurting him with her words but she can’t find it in herself to care anymore. Maybe it’s the exhaustion or the petty side of her that strives to inflict as much pain as she can onto him. He did deserve it after all and he’s not protesting at least out loud.

Internally he wants to confess his undying love for her but he knows she won’t care and it won’t change her mind. He does deserve all of her hate and anger. It’s all just no matter how harsh it might be.

Steve keeps stealing glances of her in his window’s reflection and accepts the heartache it induces. Her house comes into view and he can feel her relax when it does. She pauses before fully pulling it and has the garage door open to hide his car from sight in it.

Once inside, she turns it off and waits for the door to shut completely before getting out. Steve watches as she kicks her shoes off and takes off her coat, leaving her in her thin pjs. He climbs out and does the same as her. Following her inside, she instructs him to sit at the island like before while she goes to get him blankets and pillows.

His eyes find the Polaroid again and the memories replay again. The sound of Y/N dropping a stack of bedding brings him around again.

“Here’s a couple blankets and a pillow. Don’t worry about folding them, I'll have to wash them.”

She turns to leave but he calls out softly and stops her, “thank you.”

Her hand rests on the wall beside her and she drops her head to rest on it.

“Why do you do this to yourself?”

“I want you back. I want YOU.”

She faces him again, “That’s not how this works. You don’t get to make a reappearance and magically everything goes back to how it was.”

Steve pushes off and is before her in a few short strides. He gently holds her face in his warm hands and refuses to let go even though she tugs lightly at his wrists.

“Give me another chance. Please honey, just one more chance,” he begs her as he touches his forehead to hers. Y/N’s eyes flutter closed and her breathing grows shallow, hot breath brushing against his face.

He nudges her head back and ghosts his lips over hers, waiting for her to push him away. When she doesn’t, he captures her lips in a slow and intimate kiss. Everything he’s felt over the last 10 years is flooding her as he moves his lips over hers. Every promise he’s made to himself in her name is conveyed as he sighed against her lips.

She’s the first to pull away and is shaking her head when she does so.

“No.”

#mob au #mafia! steve rogers imagine #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x y/n #mafia steve rogers x reader #mafia steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #fine line steve rogers #steve x reader #Steve rogers #marvel imagine #mafia au

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silentglassbreak · 3 months

Text

Fragmented

Noah Sebastian x OFC

Just having a lovely good time with this. We are getting there, I swear it. 😘 (I promise there’s method to my madness.) Also HEAVILY recommend listening to the chapter song title - especially toward the end of this chapter. Levitate by Sleep Token.

Warnings: No smut today. But I fucking cried writing this chapter, and I hope you do too (I'm so sadistic). Sadness. Graphic descriptions of vomiting and overall being sick. Fluffy, heartache chapter. OH and graphic depictions of violence and blood (in a dream setting, don't stress).

+It goes without saying. This is a work of fiction. My words are mine. Plagiarism is a crime.

Taglist: @flowery-mess @lma1986 @myownthoughts12 @poisongirl616 @missduffsblog @reidsblessing @malerieee @jilliemiw86 @thisbicc @knivesforapro @diabolicdiatonics

Part 7 - Levitate

At what point do you start drawing lines in the sand? I asked myself that question over and over the past several weeks since the party. Who was fucking with who anymore? I'm certain neither of us really knew the answer.

Mileena was still seeing Justin, our mishap in the bathroom on the 4th being unspoken of again. It never happened. I kept trying to remind myself of that, each time I saw her, the only times our paths crossing being during pick-ups and drop-offs of Addison.

I had fully expected her to become scarce, but to my surprise, she was letting business go on as usual. Even being around more often. Part of me wanted to hope that meant she was slowly inching her way back to me, some undying need inside of her not being capable of keeping a distance. That thought was shut down, however, when Nick mentioned that he was asked to go on a double date with her, Laura, and the Ken doll (my favorite nickname for him).

That came about two weeks after the party, and I just shrugged it off, assuming that meant Mileena had truly forgotten about the bathroom, or was forcing herself to.

Still, she showed up, sometimes spending half an hour or more at the house when dropping off Addie, making small talk with me, once in a while even flirting. It was casual, comfortable, and for some reason, it didn't bother me to know that she was likely fucking that other guy. Something in my gut just told me to be patient. Good things come to those who wait.

So that is exactly what I did. I gave her room to exist, letting myself exist somewhere near her being good enough for me most days. In all honesty, the lack of pushing made some space for a very good friendship that we never gave the chance to grow before. Sure, the attraction was clear, but she started telling me things; things that I didn't get to hear before.

'Nick and Laura are gag-worthy. It's honestly kind of annoying.'

'I'm going to go back to work soon. I got a job offer, but the last two years off have been so heavenly.'

'I miss Washington. We need to take Addie up there to visit Dad.'

She kept throwing that word around. We. I never wanted to bring it up. Never wanted to spook her. Rather, I stood there and listened to her most times, smiling softly at her, loving the way the light filled her eyes when she was excited, or she came in close for a hug whenever she was sad. I took every second. I accepted it graciously, happy to exist.

Today, however, was not a good day. Today, I felt like a bin of hot, rancid, putrid garbage. We were stood in the green room of a venue in Buena Park, getting ready for a pop-up show, when I felt an overwhelming sense of nausea hit me. All day, I had felt off, but had brushed it off as the heat, stress from the show, and exhaustion hitting me all at once. I had slept most of the day, working to get myself out of the funk, trying like hell to prepare for the show, but I couldn't shake it.

Now, feeling my insides threatening to make their way out, my eyes darted around the room frantically, eyes falling on a nearby trash can. I bolted for it, collapsing onto my knees before emptying everything in my stomach into the bin, heaving painfully.

After successfully spitting out the last of the vomit, I sat back on my heels, trying to breathe deeply. My episode had caught Jolly's eye, and he ran over, face cringing at the sight.

"Dude, what the fuck?" I pointed at a stack of napkins on the table behind him, and he handed me a few. I wiped my mouth.

"I don't know, man. I was good, and then I just had to hurl." I was trying to determine if I was done puking, my stomach still rolling around.

"Eat something bad?" Nick had joined us now, hands in his pockets.

"Fuck, man, no idea. I guess." I shrugged, tossing the napkins in the can.

"Do we need to cancel? If so, we need to let Matt know now." Jolly's voice was concerned.

I shook my head. "Nah, I'm good. I just need a minute."

"You sure?" Nick raised a brow at me, and I stood up.

"Yeah. You guys got any gum?"

Four songs. I made it that far. I worked so hard, swallowing all of the saliva building in my mouth, keeping my face even. But as soon as we hit Glass Houses, and I had to start screaming, I had to run off stage, emptying my stomach once again into a trash can off of the side. I had thrown my mic hastily on the stage, making it clear that my abrupt exit wasn't planned.

Jolly, still vigorously playing the music, repeating the same riff, stepped off to the side and gave me a glance. I was kneeling, gagging dryly into the can. I saw him motion for everyone to stop. The music and lights cut sharp, and I leaned my head on the cool rim of the metal can, breathing heavily.

Folio stood over me. "Noah?" I looked up at him.

"I can't. I'm so fucking sorry."

He was shaking his head. "No, bro. You're fucking sick."

My body was covered in a slick, disgusting sweat, but I was still shivering profusely. "I'm freezing, dude."

Folio looked up. "Uh, hang on." He jogged off to the side of the stage, returning with my coat that I had discarded after the first track. "Here."

I stood up and pulled it on, not feeling much relief, my skin screaming as the fabric brushed over it. I took a moment to calm my body before walking back out to the stage, the crowd cheering as I did.

I picked up my discarded microphone and waved. "Well," I put a hand on my hip and huffed a laugh out. "I'm so sorry about that, guys."

The crowd cheered for me, but I was still fighting the feeling of another impending puking spell.

"So, I think I'm sick." I chuckled, and I saw the guys shaking their heads, smiling. Nick was already taking his bass off, and Jolly was walking over next to me. "I'm so sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to finish the show tonight, folks."

It was met with cries of sadness, and I frowned. "We're so sorry." Jolly's voice came through his own mic. "But we will schedule a make-up show. We've just got to keep this guy away from the gas station sushi."

Nick and Folio laughed with the crowd, but I just gagged, pressing it back down. Jolly slapped me hard on the back, which made me flinch.

"We're going to get this guy into bed, guys. But, before we go, we thank you all for being here!" Jolly hollered, and the crowd cheered.

"And can we give it up for Noah, guys?!" Nick hollered out, causing the venue to erupt. I just gave an embarrassed nod and began stalking off stage, feeling another wave oncoming.

Nick drove me home last night, walking me inside to make sure I got into bed properly. I only managed to get my pants, shoes, and shirt off before I folded into bed.

"Alright, bro, I've set a bowl on the nightstand, in case you don't make it, and I've got a water bottle next to you." But I was already half asleep when he left.

I was awoken to the doorbell going off, and I groaned, my back muscles screaming at me, and my stomach rolling inside me when I swung my legs off the bed. My head pounded hard at the sensation of sitting up. I felt truly horrific.

I stepped downstairs slowly, my body aching with each drop of my feet. I rubbed at my eyes against the sunlight, opening the front door.

Mileena stood in front of me, grocery bags in hand, and staring brightly at me, her faced etched with worry.

My eyes widened when I realized. "Oh, fuck! It's Sunday!"

She shook her head. "Oh no, I didn't bring Addie. I didn't want to risk giving her the plague."

I rolled my eyes as she walked past me into the house, closing the door behind her. "Then why are you here? Don't you not want to get it?"

She waved me off, heading for the kitchen. "I'll be fine."

She was back after a second, and I hadn't moved from where I stood by the door, focusing on staying upright as the room started to spin. Her eyes examined my face, a look of sympathy on hers.

"Oh Noah," She rubbed a hand on my shoulder. "you look like shit."

I smirked, my eyes nearly closed. "Thank you for noticing, I feel like it too."

I yawned, stopping it short when I felt as though I may gag again.

"How'd you know I was sick?"

"Nick called Laura last night. Told us about the show. I almost came over then, but Nick said you knocked out pretty quick."

I opened my eyes, then, giving her an inquisitive look. "So, you're here because...?"

She huffed, putting her hands on her hips. "To make sure you don't die?"

Leena was trying so hard to be convincing, but I still smiled playfully at her. "Oh sure. You're just here cause you couldn't stand the thought of not seeing me."

She rolled her eyes at me, smacking a hand gently on my chest, which made me whine, rubbing the spot. My skin was so sensitive.

I saw her face flinch, realizing I was tender. "Oh, God, I'm so sorry." Her fingers rubbed the spot she hit, but I wiggled away, the contact uncomfortable.

She then pressed her palm to my chest, scrunching her brows. "Jesus, Noah." Mileena grabbed my face and pulled me down, pressing her lips to my forehead - something she always did when checking for a temperature. "Fuck Noah! You're burning up!"

Scurrying into the kitchen, then back to me in a flash, she had the thermometer in her hand, brushing it across my forehead. Everything was happening in slow motion for me, the room still threatening to turn on it's side at any given moment.

"Fuck! 104.9 degrees!" I just nodded dryly, not fazed. "Noah, you may need to go to a doctor."

I groaned, walking over to the couch and sitting slowly. "I just want to sleep."

She followed me, pulling my legs up to stretch on the couch. Her hands grabbed the blanket I kept on the back of it, stretching it out over me. "Fine, but I'm staying with you a while. I don't like that fever."

I scoffed. "I'm not too fond of it, myself."

She grabbed the remote and turned the television on. "What do you want to watch?"

I moaned, absolutely suffering. "Don't care. Whatever you want."

She took up space on the other end of the sectional, tucking her feet underneath her and scanning to Hulu.

"Just nothing about food." I felt my face begin to turn green, and she noticed. She ran to the bathroom, grabbing the trash and placing it near my head on the floor. "Thanks, babe."

I watched her still, glancing at me, wanting to correct me. It was a reflex that I hadn't meant to say, but in my current state, I couldn't find the willpower to care.

She must've known, because she just turned up her lips, and softened her eyes. "Of course."

I let my eyes fall closed, my head calming while I heard the opening to Grey's Anatomy play.

I woke up to a lurch in my stomach, my eyes flying open, and my hand instinctively grabbing the trash, retching hard into it. Not much had come out, mostly bile, as I hadn't held down anything for about thirty-six hours. I opened my eyes, bleary with involuntary tears, and saw the end of the couch empty, but the TV still playing.

"Oh, Noah!" Her feet tapped the floor softly as she ran into the living room.

She circled the coffee table, and sat next to me on the couch, her hand rubbing small circles on my back. Setting the can down, I leaned back on the couch, fighting to get air in my lungs.

"What the fuck?" I grit through my teeth. Her hand was now on top of mine, her thumb massaging into the tattoos on my skin.

"I know. Must be a bad bug."

I leaned down, grabbing the edges of the bag in the can, preparing to get rid of it. Her hands came in, shooing mine away.

"I'll get this. Go brush your teeth."

I stood, running a hand through my sweat-soaked hair, and realized I was still in just my boxers. It hadn't even occurred to me, too sick to realize how gross I must look.

"Sorry you have to see me like this."

She snorted, tying the bag up. "Noah, you watched me give birth. I think we're okay."

I smiled at her tiredly. "You don't have to stay. What about Addie?"

She walked to the front door, slipping on my slides so she could walk outside to the can. "Uncle Jolly and Uncle Folio took her out for the day. Laura told me to stay as long as you need."

I was sick, exhausted, and half-dead, but I couldn't help what came tumbling out of me.

"And what if I never let you leave?"

Her hand hovered over the door knob, her neck twisting so she could look at me, a sad expression on her face. "Go brush your teeth. Your breath is rank."

I smiled. It wasn't a 'no' or a 'shut up', so it was progress.

"I think I'm going to shower, actually."

She just nodded before disappearing outside to dispose of the garbage.

I climbed the stairs carefully, lightheaded. I walked straight into the bathroom, turning the water to scalding, and stripped off my underwear. I glanced in the mirror, cringing at the sight. My eyes held dark, grey circles around them, my hair was visibly greasy, and my lips were pale and chapped.

Real sexy, Sebastian.

While I waited for the water to get hot enough to melt my skin, I brushed my teeth, working hard not to gag again. Once I spit the last of the toothpaste out, I stepped into the hot water and took a moment to adjust. I had a feeling my fever had broken, as my skin didn't hurt quite so badly.

I took time to scrub my body, letting my body calm as I felt the previous day rinse off of me. I quickly washed my hair, not even bothering with conditioning or anything extra. Then, I just stood there, letting the warm water wash over my back, my forehead leaning against the cool tile, zoning out while I breathed deeply.

"Hey." I heard her voice, which I didn't react to. "You alive in there?"

I flipped the handle, turning the water off. My hand grabbed the towel on the hook, pulling it in and wrapping it around my waist before opening the curtain. She stood in the doorway, and I heard her inhale a sharp gasp when her eyes caught me standing, my hair dripping down my face. I flipped it back and eyed her.

"I feel like death."

Her eyes were blown wide, and her lips parted slightly, not responding. Normally, I'd be taking full advantage of the moment. However, I was sure my stomach couldn't handle any sudden movents.

"I, uh," She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. "I brought some Zofran. We need to get you to hold something down."

I stepped out of the shower, sighing. "If you think it'll help."

She held a hand out, a small white pill in the palm. I walked over, picking up the tablet and holding it on front of me.

"How do I know you're not drugging me?"

She pursed her lips, smirking. "You don't."

I shrugged nonchalantly, and dry swallowed it.

Standing inches from her, smiling mischievously. "How's my breath?"

Leena grinned earnestly, then. "Better." She lifted a hand to the back of my neck, pulling my forehead down to her lips again. She hummed in approval. "That's better too. Now c'mon," She tugged at my wrist, pulling me out of the bathroom. "let's get you dressed and into bed."

I took note of the sweats, underwear, and t-shirt laid out on the bed. I also noticed the blanket being fresh.

"I changed the sheets for you. They were still damp from you sweating all night. I set up the trash can next to the bed, water on the nightstand. You need to drink it." She was using her Mom voice now, which had me staring at her, amused. "When you're ready to try eating, I've got Saltines, cheese, and a few different soups."

Eyes boring into her, I couldn't help but grin. "I appreciate you, Mileena."

The look on her face told me she was not troubled by any of her efforts. "You know I don't mind." She scanned the room, and began turning around. "I'll let you get dressed."

"Are you leaving?"

She stared at me, her eyes sparkling. "Do you want me to?"

A tinge of red crept up my neck, suddenly shy. "I mean, no?" Breathing out a chuckle, I picked up the underwear, letting the towel drop. Her eyes only flashed down to me for a split second, her throat swallowing hard. "But I get if you need to get back to Addison."

She squeezed her eyes shut. "No," She had her lips held tight together. "I checked in with Laura. Addie's fine. She said I can stay however long."

I nodded. "I've got pants on now." My words were lighthearted, finding humor in the fact that she was trying to preserve my modesty, as if she hadn't seen it all before.

"I figured I'd start disinfecting the living room while you napped."

I sat down hard on the bed, slipping the shirt over my head and wincing, the sensitivity coming back.

"Or, you could watch TV with me."

She stared at me, as if I was insane. "Is that such a good idea?"

I leaned back, pulling myself under the comforter and sinking down into the mattress.

"I mean, if you don't want to catch this crap, I don't blame you."

Sitting next to me on the edge of the bed, she laid a hand on my stomach softly. "I told you I'm not worried about that."

I laughed. "Well, you don't have to worry about me trying to come onto you. I get nauseas just breathing. I couldn't imagine what having sex would do."

She let out a hard cackle, smiling with all of her teeth. It was a nice sight to see, even on the brink of death.

"Well," I could tell she was weighing her options. "I guess it's fine. Mind if I borrow some pants? Jeans aren't exactly comfortable."

I just gestured to the dresser. She knew where to find everything. She slipped a pair of joggers out of the drawer, stepping into the closet to change. After, she came over to the bed, her side, and sat on top of the blankets, pushing her pillow up against the headboard, and flipped the TV on.

"Still no requests?" I just shook my head. She started Supernatural, picking up where her and I had left off on the last season, sitting back and watching the screen intently.

After a few minutes, I rolled onto my side, facing her, in a desperate attempt to ease the hard ache in my diaphragm. My body felt sore from dry heaving and the virus that crept through my veins. Eventually, I grew frustrated with the uneasiness each position had me in, growling.

"Come on." She motioned for me to scoot closer, pulling her legs under the covers and half-laying on the pillow. I moved myself to lay my head on her stomach, arm draped over her middle. Her fingers began running through my hair, nails scraping gently over my scalp the way she knew would have me snoozing quickly.

I buried my nose into her shirt, breathing easily. "Hey Leena?"

"Hmm?" She was into the show, but I still couldn't help myself.

"How would Justin feel about us just cuddling?" I smiled, reminiscing of the first time we cuddled on her couch, two years ago.

She snorted, clearly remembering exactly what I was referring to.

"He'll live. You may not. Priorities."

"So I take priority, huh?" My voice was slightly muffled against her, but I was warm all over thinking about it.

"You're the father of my child, Noah. And my best friend. Of course you do."

My hand squeezed her side in a sad attempt for a hug. She gripped my hair a touch tighter at the root, earning her an appreciative moan from me. So fucking relaxing.

"You should get some sleep."

"Are you and him still...a thing?"

I felt her chest heave. "Is that really a good conversation for right now?"

I raised an eyebrow she couldn't see. "We're best friends, right? Just pretend I'm Laura or something."

She laughed at that. "No can do, babe. Laura's prettier than you."

I waved a finger in the air in front of us. "Nuh-uh."

Her body shook with laughter.

"Ah Noah, insufferable as always."

I could only hum at her, my arm falling back to her side.

"You can tell me, Leena. I won't get mad."

Her voice was careful. "Kind of."

"What does that mean?"

"It means exactly that, Noah. Kind of." She sighed. "I like him, but..." She trailed off.

"But what? He’s not as dreamy as you had originally expected?" I smirked at my words, which came out in my voice.

But her words were somber.

"He's not you."

My face fell, processing what she had said.

"Oh."

"Yeah." Her fingers pet my hair softly now, smoothing it down. "Get some sleep, babe. I'll be here."

Even with the firecrackers exploding inside of my chest, the overwhelming exhaustion was taking over, blurring my vision. Sleep overtook me quickly, my eyes closing while her hands soothed me into oblivion.

"I don't love you, Noah. I don't think I ever did."

"She's never going to be with you again."

I pulled at the metal shackles around my wrists and ankles, screaming at the top of my lungs behind the leather bound around my mouth. My skin burned from all over, unable to breathe in enough air to fight any harder.

"This is how you die, Noah. Alone. No happiness. No dignity. No family. You're pathetic." Leena was stood inches from my face, Justin just behind her, staring wickedly.

"She's mine now, bitch."

The veins in my neck strained as I tried to bite down on the bind in my mouth, my flesh bleeding as I pulled against the steel holding them to the table I laid on.

Justin picked up an instrument off of the tray, a long, razor-like blade that looked medieval.

"You deserve this, Noah. For being such a fucking failure." The laugh that pressed out of her was maniacal, bouncing off the hard walls of the dark room. "Addison will never have to see how fucking sad and horrid her father was."

Justin stepped over to me, using one hand to rip the tank top I wore. I pulled harder as he lowered the blade over my stomach.

He smiled at me. "I hope you didn't pay much for these tats, dude, cause they're about to come off."

My eyes bulged, my chest heaving as I shook my head hysterically.

The blade sunk deep into my skin, a sharp, piercing burning flashing over me as I watched the blood pouring out of me.

My screams were wet and desperate, tears flowing down the sides of my face into my hair. I stared at Mileena, begging her to stop this, but she just smiled at me, her yes dark.

"Oh Noah! You're doing great!" Her words were all venom, and I couldn't breathe now, a weight pressing on my chest. I looked up to see Justin pressing his palm down as he dug the blade in deeper, piercing my organs.

Blood pooled in my throat, and I tried spitting it, only for it to fall back down into my mouth, making me choke.

"Noah!" Mileena clapped, smiling wildly. "C'mon Noah!"

"Noah! Noah, wake up!" I felt my body shaking. "Babe! Wake up, honey!"

I startled, my eyes snapping open, and sat up abruptly. My eyes scanned for the trash can, grabbing it and lifting it into my lap, violently throwing up into the bag. I could feel the tears coming out of eyes, and I lifted my head, my body still shaking with sobs.

"Baby," Her hand was on the back of my neck, her voice calm in my ear. "it's okay. Let it out."

Heaving again, I ejected any stomach contents I had before taking a few deep, hard breaths.

"Done?" After a few seconds, I nodded. "Okay, let me take this."

She grabbed the can and stood off the bed, walking back into the bathroom. Returning with toilet paper in her hand, she tore some and handed it to me to wipe my face.

She crawled into my lap, pulling my face into her chest, as I cried hard.

Usually, I try to be masculine about it, crying quietly, privately. However, I was still so shaken by the nightmare, that I let myself wrap my arms around her, wetting her shirt with my hot tears.

She shushed me, rubbing calming circles on my back until I was able to breathe evenly again.

"Bad dream, huh?" I only nodded in response, unable to speak. "Yeah, fever dreams are the worst."

After several long moments, I shifted so she could scoot off of me, standing and heading into the bathroom, running my toothbrush over my tongue and teeth again, washing the taste of stomach acid out of my mouth.

I came back to the bed, pulling her back into me.

"I'm sorry."

We were laid together, tangled on top of the blankets, and she giggled.

"Don't apologize for having a bad dream. You can't control that."

"It was so bad."

She reached a hand up under my shirt, splaying her fingers out on my chest. "Sounded like it. You started screaming."

"Ugh, I'm sorry."

Rather than lecturing me again for apologizing, she just hummed.

"I've got you, babe."

I noticed Supernatural was still on. "How long was I out?"

"About two hours. I think I dozed off a little, too." She traced my skin with a fingertip. "You think you want to try munching some crackers? You're dry heaving so bad because you don't have anything to throw up."

I sighed hard. "I guess."

Another hour, and I was sitting up on the bed, breaking the crackers into four and taking at least fifteen minutes to eat each one. My stomach didn't like it, but needed it. I had earned a love/hate relationship with a sleeve of Saltines, and that's just fitting for my whole fucking life, isn't it?

Mileena was eating a sandwich she had ordered from her favorite spot, pulling pickle slices off of it and popping them in her mouth. We both watched the screen intently, making odd and end comments about the movie we watched.

"This isn't nearly as good as the first one." She spoke around her bite of food.

I shook my head. "Nah. The first Nun was actually a little creepy." I pointed at the TV. "This one is kind of boring, actually.

"Agreed." Leena popped another pickle in her mouth.

I smirked at her. "I still don't get that. Why not just eat them on the sandwich?"

She stuck her tongue out, a perfect round pickle slice sat in the center, and crossed her eyes at me. I stuck my fingers out to pinch her tongue, but she sucked it back in quickly, giggling at me.

Although my stomach still hurt, and wasn't pleased that I had filled it with six crackers and a half of a water bottle, I felt a slight energy surge, so I didn't want to try falling back asleep yet. Not after my last nap. I shuddered at the thought.

Her eyes fell on me, noticing my shiver. "You want to talk about the dream?"

I shook my head, looking down at the cracker I was breaking. "It's fading anyway."

Mileena raised an eyebrow at me. "Mkay, well you let me know if you change your mind." She turned her attention back to the movie.

"What time do you have to go?"

She stood off the bed, balling up the paper from her sandwich, and tossing it in the trash can. "I called Laura after you woke up, and she told me I was fine to stay over if needed. Addie has been really good today, and tomorrow her and Nick are taking the baby to the aquarium."

Expressionless, I tried not to let the hope swell too much in my chest.

Still, I croaked out. "Slumber party?"

She laughed, stepping into the bathroom and closing the door. "Oh sure! We can paint nails and have a pillow fight!" She hollered from behind the door.

"I'm into it!" I yelled back.

"Yeah, well I'm all yours, then."

I smiled triumphantly. If I had known this was how to keep her around, I would've been licking doorknobs ages ago.

She returned, perching back on the bed. Her eyes glanced over to me comfortably, a smooth smile on her face.

"Leena?" She looked back at me over her shoulder. "Seriously, have you told him you're here?"

Her face fell, her gaze dropping to the remote in her hand. "I haven't."

I huffed, leaning back. "Maybe you shouldn't."

Her eyes looked up at me from under her lashes. "Can I be honest with you, Noah?"

My face twisted into a frown. "I expect nothing less."

She turned completely, facing me, and her legs crossed underneath her.

"I'm not good at this." She gestured between us.

I raised a brow. "What do you mean?" I looked over to the nightstand and down at my crackers. "Being a doctor? Could've fooled me."

She rolled her eyes, smiling. "No, dork." She looked back down out her hands. "Being broken up."

My head leaned back against the headboard. "Ah."

"I just," She pressed her lips together. "I miss you. And that makes it so hard, because I know you miss me too. You tell me all the time."

I nodded, crossing my arms over my chest. "I do."

"I want to be with you all the time. I think about it all day, every day."

I wouldn't dare interrupt, despite the increasing surge I had to kiss her, touch her, hold her. Anything.

"I damn near talk myself into coming home every day, Noah." Her eyes were getting wetter, and I just wanted to press my lips to her forehead. "But then I remember. Being alone."

My heart twitched.

"I don't know. Justin is...good." Ouch. Didn't need to know that. "He has a good job. He likes me, so much." She rolled her eyes. "He's good-looking, funny. He likes everyone. He respects the hell out of you." Shocking, truly. The feeling wasn't at all mutual.

"But," Her hands fell flat on the bed, a deep breath filling her. "I don't feel what I do when I'm with you."

My face was curious. "And that is?"

"Alive." She stood up then, beginning to pace back and forth in front of the bed. My eyes followed her every move.

"Noah, I spent a long fucking time just...breathing." She stopped, eyes boring into me. "But then I met you, and I felt like something inside me woke up. Like I had been on autopilot, but then, suddenly, I was driving again. At a hundred miles an hour."

I smirked.

"Even now, after all this time, I feel so drawn to you. Like a magnet, or gravity? Maybe that's the same thing, I have no fucking clue."

"It's not. Continue."

She narrowed her eyes at me, but continued pacing. "Either way. I can't find that feeling with him."

She sat on the bed then, right next to me.

"It's like that feeling of being on a roller coaster, when your blood is on fire, and your heart is racing? But then you get off of it? And everything goes back to normal? Do you know what I mean?"

"I do."

"The second I left your hotel room that night, it was like I stepped off the coaster. And for a while, I loved that. It was relieving, not knowing when it was going to drop. It was nice to know that I finally had control." A tear rolled down her cheek. "But then...I hated it. I felt like I was at a standstill."

I lifted my hand, wiping the tear from her cheek, using the other to rest on her shoulder.

"But every time I saw you," Her voice cracked, wet. "it was like I was awake again; alive."

She shook, a cry breaking through her. I pulled her, then, bringing her in close to me. I held one arm around her body, locking her in close to my chest. My other holding the back of her neck, squeezing gently to comfort her as she cried.

"I got you, Leena." I whispered in her ear. "I'm right here."

Her hands gripped my shirt tight, legs pulled up underneath her.

"Babe," I pulled her up so I could look into her eyes. "I know this is so hard. But it's truly whatever you want. Whenever."

I pulled her back down.

"I'm always here, just for you."

She laughed then, a sarcastic sound. "Noah, I can't ask you to sit around and wait for me to figure my shit out."

"You don't have to."

This made her cry harder, and I squeezed her tight.

"I love you Mileena. More than life itself."

Her voice was strained. "God, I love you so much, Noah." She cried between her words. "I miss you so much it hurts."

I felt my own tears brewing. "I know. I do too." I inhaled hard, trying to hold my own hurt back behind my hard exterior. "Every day. Every moment."

"Can we just pretend for today? Can we just act like nothing ever happened? And be us? Please, I'm so fucking tired. I just need one fucking day." Her hands were pulling at me, desperate to get closer.

I wrapped both arms around her in a tight grip.

"Of course we can, baby." I spoke into her hair. "Anything you want, my love."

#fanfic #noah sebastian #bad omens #bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian fic

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fahbee · 8 months

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Theory: Why did Aziraphale agree to the Arrangement?

There's two moments in Aziraphale's and Crowley's history together that we haven't seen yet, that I think have the potential to change the way we see them and their relationship to each other.

They are: The Fall and the Arrangement.

This post is about the latter.

[Slightly edited because I completely forgot the Good Omens book states that the Arrangement began "somewhere around 1020".]

Here's what we know about the Arrangement:

It started around 1020.

By the time of 1601 it had been in place long enough for them to have used it "dozens of times". I take this to mean at least 30 times, but probably closer to at least 50 times. I assume that the upper limit is likely under 200, else I would have expected Crowley to say "hundreds of times" rather than dozens.

The parameters of the Arrangement are that they "stay out of each other's way" and "lend a hand, when needed." It involves both of them performing blessings and temptings.

Crowley proposed the Arrangement under the justification of convenience. No sense for both of them to be uncomfortable in damp places only to cancel each other out, etc.

Aziraphale rejected the Arrangement because he didn't want to lie to Heaven. This was centuries after Aziraphale already lied to Heaven in order to save Job's children, so we know the problem isn't with the act of lying itself.

From this, we can deduce that Aziraphale is willing to lie to Heaven/other angels when he considers the matter important and/or righteous enough, and that sparing himself inconvenient travel and accommodation, etc does not rise to that standard.

By 1601, we know that Aziraphale no longer worries about lying to Heaven ("dozens of times now") but that Aziraphale does worry about the risk to Crowley if Hell were to find out what they're doing. "They would destroy you." Yet this protest seems more like a routine warning than a truly serious objection, and Crowley rolls over it easily. "Nobody ever has to know."

While it's possible that Aziraphale could have changed his mind about the Arrangement solely due to decades (centuries?) of Crowley asking him to reconsider every time they encountered each other while on the job, that would be a boring waste of an opportunity for character and relationship growth. IOW, I don't see Neil choosing to write that Aziraphale finally decided to go along with the Arrangement just because he got tired of Crowley asking.

No, the better, far more satisfying choice is for something to have happened that changed Aziraphale's mind. And it couldn't have been something to do with the actual work of the blessing and tempting. In 1601, the job involves a few minor blessings and tempting a clan leader to steal some livestock - nothing at all like the life-and-death, killing-children-to-win-a-bet circumstances which led Aziraphale to lie to Heaven for the first time.

There has to be some other reason then for why Aziraphale grows comfortable enough with lying to Heaven that it doesn't even warrant a mention as a token protest in 1601. But what does merit a mention? "If Hell finds out... they'll destroy you." Crowley's safety.

So what could possibly be so important, so righteous, as to justify not only lying to Heaven on the regular, but also risking Crowley's very existence? What could have possibly happened to make the Arrangement, with all its attendant deceit, risk, and danger, something that Aziraphale willingly participates in, over and over and over again, for centuries?

My theory? He does it for Crowley's happiness.

We know that as far back as 3000 BC at the flood/Noah's ark, Crowley had no stomach for the death of children. 500 years later he defines himself as a demon who goes along with Hell as far as he can and killing Job's kids (both human and goat lol) is going too far. He not only refuses to kill them, he performs miracles to save them and return them safely to their parents. And before Aziraphale figured out the trick with the goats, Crowley was clearly determined to keep his actions secret from both Heaven and Hell.

I think Aziraphale finally agreed to the Arrangement in order to give Crowley an excuse to do good. I think something happened in 1020 to make Aziraphale realize that Crowley sometimes needed to do good, but couldn't allow himself to do good unless he had an excuse for it.

The Arrangement is just another dance between them, another ritual they perform for seemingly plausible reasons but which actually has a much deeper meaning behind it. On the surface, the Arrangement allows them to cut down on redundant and/or unpleasant tasks. It's true purpose though, in my opinion, is to give Crowley the excuse he needs - even if it's just to himself - to balance out his demonic work with good deeds. Either Aziraphale does his tempting for him and he's spared from having to do evil deeds at all, or he does his own tempting but gets to cancel it out by doing blessings on Aziraphale's behalf.

Does Crowley realize it, though? I don't know. Prior to s2 I would have said of course he does. But we know now that Crowley has a huge blind spot when it comes to Aziraphale. He didn't even realize how clearly, obviously in love with Aziraphale he was until Nina bashed him over the head with it. Aziraphale's motivations and feelings, especially as regards Crowley himself, seem to be a complete mystery to Crowley. It would not surprise me to learn that Aziraphale made up some flimsy excuse for why he changed his mind about the Arrangement, and Crowley simply accepted it and never questioned it further.

In conclusion, I think Aziraphale entered into the Arrangement for Crowley's benefit whether Crowley realizes it or not.

#Good Omens #good omens meta #about 'the arrangement'#crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow

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holyvirgilscriptures · 4 months

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This is just my opinion on Noah’s video, and nobody has to agree, as long as we are able to remain civil. But I’m sorry, I don’t understand the people who complain that Noah’s video is just a PR move, or damage control. All “apologies” (or statements, or clarifications, or whatever words you want to use) are damage control by default. Additionally, people would have called it damage control regardless of the situation. If he had done it immediately after the controversy — damage control. If he waited months later from now to do it — damage control. If he never did it — well, obviously he never cared about Palestinians in the first place, and is a rabid racist. Or he’s waiting for people to forget about it — thus, damage control.

The truth is, people’s minds were already made up about Noah — even long before the controversy first happened. And yes, because people don’t want to admit it, a lot of the flames of the controversy are stoked by the fact that he’s gay and Jewish. Unconscious biases still exist, and they come out in regards to getting angry at minorities. Even before Noah made the instagram post, there were people already calling him a Nazi, or saying that he was going to become part of the IDF. And even now, people make jokes degrading his sexuality — not actually focused about the things he’d done. And unless he apparently said a combination of extremely specific magic words, then people were never going to accept him.

There are going to be people will honestly never accept or forgive him. They said he spread misinformation — he deleted/archived his original “I stand with Israel” post. They said he hopes Palestinians die — he labels out in the video that he thinks the mass death and killings of innocent Palestinians (esp. women and children) was bad. Because apparently people didn’t get the memo the first time, and were trigger-happy accusing him of being a monster. Have you guys actually interacted with any hardcore Zionists? I have. They would have never responded to the situation like Noah. They would have found justifications for the continuation of Israeli airstrikes and the deaths of thousands of Gazans. Or they would be literally like Brett Gelman — you know, his castmate who is an old man and should know better than a 19 year-old college student. Additionally, Noah said he’s spoken to Palestinians to learn from their perspectives on the argument. This is another thing hardcore Zionists would not do, because they think all Palestinians deserve to die and not have a voice.

Do I think his video could have stood to say more things? Yes. I think he should have actually brought up the things like the stickers stuff, among others. So I can understand people who were disappointed over that, saying he didn't really apologize. Do I think he should have probably prepared more before the video began? Yes, but honestly people will accuse him of just being fed what to say by his PR team (not that people aren’t already accusing him of such). But do I find the video offensive? No. His political stance of hoping that Israelis and Palestinians will be able to live safely and peacefully together in the Levant should not actually be some controversial claim that have people this riled up about it.

I never expected Noah to say something along the lines of “Fuck Israel” or “I hope Israel gets dissolved.” If that is the apology or statement you seek, then I’m sorry, but it’s just not going to happen. This is not about whether or not I personally want him to say that. It’s just being realistic. Noah very likely has family who currently live in Israel. And I understand most people seem to believe Noah is just a 100% white dude, and that Israel is made up of 100% white people, but that’s not true. The majority of the Israeli population come from those who were ethnically cleansed from neighboring MENA countries. And Noah’s mother is a Moroccan woman (and if you really want to look her up, you can see she’s not “white”). Do you know how many Jews live in Morocco now? About 2000~. Do you know how many Moroccan Jews are in Israel? 900,000.

Also, one last thing. Take it with grain a salt, but according to Noah (in his comments section), his PR team actually told him to stay quiet over the situation. But he felt like that wasn’t right and thus, this video was created. That’s more mature than people are willing to give him credit for. And also, obviously, stop harassing him. Stop calling him slurs, or suibaiting him, or (and this is real) doxxing, stalking, and sexually threatening him. Noah has already (allegedly) filed a restraining order on someone. Again, you are by no means required to actually like him. Continue disliking him, if you want. But these are all horrible things to do to a person, so let’s not.

#noah schnapp #anyway i never want to talk about this again. ever.

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choicesficwriterscreations · 5 months

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December Creator of the Month: Oh-So-Youre-a-Nerd

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists, and this month’s creator of the month is @oh-so-youre-a-nerd . We're very excited because Ascindio is our very first artist to be highlighted! We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

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How do you want to be known on Tumblr?

Ascindio

More below...

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

I started playing in 2016, I can't remember if I read Endless Summer or Rules of Engagement first, but I ended up deleting the app after like 2 weeks cause I couldn't stop buying diamonds 😅🤦

I re-downloaded it about, ohh idk 2 years ago?

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the Fandom specifically on Tumblr and specifically for It Lives Within, which happened to come out right after I read the first two books

3- How did you pick your blog name?

I always try to seem cool and mysterious when I meet people irl, and then as soon as I open my mouth, I ruin it with some niche trivia or something, and they say, “Oh, so you're a nerd.” 😂 Can't tell you how many times this exact phrase has been uttered to me.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!

This is the first Choices related post I made 😂 I was just thinking about the concept of what if characters make terrible decisions cause they're controlled by a player who is out of diamonds lol I was going to do a whole series of them (next was going to be lotr “fly on eagles to mordor?” *30 diamonds* or “simply walk”) but got lazy lol

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both?

Only art. God, I WISH I wrote too. I've thought about trying cause I have so many ideas floating around in my head, but at the end of the day, I'd rather spend my free time drawing.

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

For Choices, since early 2022

For other fandoms, since well, forever, but I only started posting around 2017/18

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

Favorite Choices book is probably It Lives in the Woods. All of the characters were so interesting, I never got bored reading it, and it had an incredible twist that made sense but I still didn't see coming.

Favorite to create for is probably Blades of Light and Shadow though because I am such a sucker for the fantasy aesthetic.

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?.

This isn't the first Choices art I made, but it IS the first I actually shared

And honestly, I DO still like it because I still remember the way I felt absolutely POSSESSED while drawing it (I hadn't drawn anything for *months*). I would definitely change the background, though. Those trees look like shit, and they're not even the correct type for the kind of forest they're in.

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created?

My favorite Choices art I've done is probably this piece.

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

I definitely didn't expect this one to do well at all as it was so hastily drawn

And I was sad this piece didn't get more love, it was such a dope scene and I was so excited about how the sword turned out

11- If you could only draw one style or type of art for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?

I'm not sure if I'm interpreting the question right, but if I had to pick like a specific type of art, it would be digital, and I would want to do fan art. I have a hard time painting anything that I don't already have a deep connection with (so original art with no story behind it is usually a chore for me), and digital art is just so incredibly convenient and not messy and so so versatile.

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Because I use fiction as a way to safely process trauma/ grief/ other big emotions, each MC I make has a small part of me, whichever part I feel the need to explore at the time.

There's an amazing quote by Patrick Rothfuss that I feel explains it perfectly.

It's from Wise Man's Fear

“These folk knew all about death. They killed their own livestock. They died from fevers, falls, or broken bones gone sour. Death was like an unpleasant neighbor. You didn’t talk about him for fear he might hear you and decide to pay a visit.

Except for stories, of course. Tales of poisoned kings and duels and old wars were fine. They dressed death in foreign clothes and sent him far from your door. A chimney fire or the croup cough were terrifying. But Gibea’s trial or the siege of Enfast, those were different. They were like prayers, like charms muttered late at night when you were walking alone in the dark. Stories were like ha’penny amulets you bought from a peddler, just in case.”

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most?

I have a very difficult time making the poses seem natural and flowing. My all time favorite art is Baroque/Renaissance style and how fluid the poses are, how soft the skin looks, how delicately it's all done. Obviously, I will always have my own style, but those are things that I so want to incorporate but never seem to get quite right, and it drives me crazy 😂

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

Not really. I mean, I have a ton of unfinished work, but as soon as the window of inspiration passes, I just can't get myself to care enough about it to finish it (insert Jake the Dog, “now it's gone, and I don't care about it anymore!” )

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first?

I would, and have. I typically show them whatever most rendered recent picture from my Instagram because I don't post any nsfw there and usually try to post only my prettier work for this specific reason haha. (As opposed to here, I post everything here, ain't NO ONE from real life invited to see my tumblr 😂)

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

Writers: Brandon Sanderson, for sure. He's the reason I got back into art back in 2017 ish. His stories are just so emotional they push me to create. Same with @saibug1022, there is always at least one scene from every story he shares that I desperately want to draw to try to capture the emotions.

Artists: God, sooo many, here are just like my top 3 favorites and their instagrams.

Audra Auclair

Obsessed with her unique style, and specifically the way she draws eyelids and noses

f3lc4t

The way they draw those dripping, glowing wisps. I stare at their pieces for hours (no lie) trying to dissect them stroke by stroke to figure out how they do it.

Miho Hirano

Their art has a delicate whimsy-ness I would SELL MY SOUL to achieve

17- Which one of your creations would you like to see a fiction written about?

JC, this is the shit I DREAM of.

Definitely this one.

So this is love.

This little comic means a lot to me.

18- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art?

Very rarely, but I do, every so often. This is my favorite original piece.

20- What other hobbies do you have?

Gaming, singing, walking through the Cemetary with my wee daughter, reading, that's about it 🤷

21 - What’s your favorite emoji?

🙇

22: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

I really wanted to say that I don't believe in “good” art and “bad” art (just ethical vs non-ethical). That being said, I know what it's like to hate your art, like soooo intimately. If you ever are feeling shit about your art, you can ABSOLUTELY message me (I don't care if we're mutuals or not, I don't care if we've never interacted before) and just say, “I am feeling shit about my art” and I will go through your art and tell you every specific thing I love about it and why it's wonderful. I am not joking; I am so so serious rn. 💗💗💗💗

#choices fic writers creations #playchoices #choices stories you play #cfwc creator of the month #oh-so-youre-a-nerd #choices fanart #playchoices fanart #december creator of the month

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starsomens · 7 months

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Okay since you're asking, who am I to not give you some ideas?

So Id love to read something more drammatic if you feel confy. Like scenario: noah goes to the grocery with the kids and meets someone he knows like Davis or anyone else. Got distracted for 2 minutes and BAM. His baby girl is missing.

Classical moment in which a kid goes lost for 5 minutes but the parent freak out.

A/N: I think this formed more like a drable than anything else but enjoy!!

" 'kay princess ready to get groceries?" he asked as he unbuckles her seatbelt in her car seat. You were at home after a very stressful week, so he picked up the errand with your 5 year old daughter Eden. Usually when Noah comes food shopping it's on his own so he could surprise you with flowers, or your favorite snack.

He walks hand in hand with her through the parking lot. Once they were inside he grabs a cart and asks her

"You wanna ride in the cart or you wanna walk?" he always asks her which option she wanted. He thought if he gave her a sense of independence in her choices, she'll be confident in her decisions.

"Mmmm walk!" she said with a bright smile

Noah loved when she smiled that way "Okay princess just stay close okay?" she nods and in they go. Noah liked to involved Eden in his day to day errands. She helped pick apples and some vegetables. They even went to see the lobsters in the tank for a while. He'd watch her walk in front of the cart and just admire how big she's getting.

She used to sit in her car seat on top of the shopping cart, now she's pointing at her favorite juice and snacks all on her own.

"Daddy, can we get snackies?" Eden asked as they passed the candy and snack aisle

"We will baby, just have to grab some other things and we can get your favorite cookies okay?" he said to her

"Okay papa." she answered. They stop at the sanitary aisle and picked some babywipes, make up wipes and he knew you needed some pads, but you recently changed.

"shit" he mumbled to himself and pulled his phone out to call you "hey babe, what size pussy do you wear again?....HAHA it’s fine no one is around….yeah I see those but not the new ones you're using....okay they have regular, plus and ulta....regular alright...okay see you soon, love you..bye" he tosses the pack into the cart and clapped his hands together

"Alright sweetheart lets go pick some cookies..." he expected to hear her cheery voice but didn't get an answer. He looked around him and did see her.

.....WHERE WAS SHE?!

"Eden?" he called looking up and down the aisle. Nothing. "Eden!" he called again

His heart was racing and his mind was going to every place possible. He pushed the cart and rushed to the cookie aisle to see if she was there

"Eden?" not in the cookie aisle....fuck. FUCK! She wasn't there! Normally Noah was calm and collected but this was his baby girl! He's rushing through the store trying to spot her beautiful head of hair, her precious laugh, something!

Oh god and if you found out, you'd rip his head off! How could he lose sight of her?! He was always so careful, always had her near him, never left his sight!

He rushed to customer service and cut some people in line

"Uh yeah I..I." he didn't even know how to form it "My daughter I lost her.. I-I don't know where she is, is there an announcement that could be made? A place to Look o-or-"

"Daddy!" He spins around and sees his little girl. his little Eden, his princess! She runs to him and he scoops her up in his arms. He held her so close, breathed in her scent of soft lavender. his little arms around his neck and he felt such relief as if he could drop to the floor right there. This tiny human in his arms was his absolute world and even the thought of something happening to her terrified him.

"Princess, why did you run off?!" he didn't mean to sound harsh, he was just afraid

"I-I wanted to b..*snif* a big girl a-and, get snack," he rubbed her eyes "i couldn't..f-find y-you" her voice cracks as fat tears spilled from her eyes. his large thumbs wipe them away and he kisses her head

"It's okay baby," he cooed "you're with me, it's okay"

He finished the shopping and got the snacks like he had promised. He put her back in her car seat and bought her a happy meal. By the time he had gotten home, she was fast asleep after such an ordeal had gone down.

"So how was the trip?" you asked putting Eden down on couch so she could keep sleeping. While Noah put things away, you coming to help him

"Well it was...." he thought for a second "....quite a trip."

"You don't say" you say feeling skeptical. While you were still putting things away he just blurts out

"...she wandered off and I lost her for about 5 minutes-"

"WHAT?!"

「✨Taglist✨」 @lilhobgobbler @cncohshit @vir-tual @tdopomymind @concretenoah @misspygmypie @fvckmeorchokeme @lust-for-sacher @thescarlettvvitch @cind6547 @itsmrsfuentes @purple-lili @ima1986

#bad omens #noah sebastian #noah sebastian x reader #bad omens fanfiction #dad noah sebastian ✨#noahsebastian

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crimson-calligraphyx · 7 months

Text

A/N: don't hate me too much okay I'm sorry 😖

Tag List: @cheyfi @kingdomof-omens @daylightlvrs @blade-in-red @ladyveronikawrites @jay02bo @itsmrsfuentes @cncohshit @catj422

Noah

I held Liv close to me, cradling her head against my chest as my taxi pulled into the driveway, appreciating the moment for what it was. I didn't want to leave her to finish the tour, all I wanted to do was lie in bed with her in my arms.

I wanted to feel her warmth, trace her skin beneath my fingertips, and map out every curve of her body. I wanted to admire the way her small frame fit perfectly in my arms, her body melting into mine, and burn it into my mind in case—

No. I won't let that happen.

She looks up at me, her eyes heavy with repentance and melancholy. I cup her face delicately and ran my thumb across the apple of her cheek, reddened as the brisk air nipped her skin. I gave her a saddened smile, my lips pressed together as I felt my chest get tighter and tighter, knowing I had to let go of her.

I leaned down to kiss her and relished the way her lips felt against mine; soft, warm, full and comforting. They felt like home, and Christ, I was already homesick and hadn’t even left yet.

"I love you," I mumbled against her mouth after kissing her for as long as I could. "I'll see you in a couple of weeks, okay?" I watched her eyes gloss over, and she gave me a quick nod. "Okay," she whispers. She doesn't say ‘I love you’. I reluctantly release my hold on her and take a step back, my heart sinking from the lack of reciprocation.

I shouldered my bag and made my way to the taxi, halting once I reached the back door to look at her one last time. She was hugging herself and shivering, the sweater she wore not thick enough to keep her warm in the frigid December air. I could just barely make out the tremble of her lips—I wasn't sure if it was from the cold or from holding back her emotions, but I wanted so badly to run back to her and make them stop.

I sent a timid wave her way and hopped into the backseat of the cab, and as we backed out of the driveway, I could see that she was crying. Her shoulders shook with each sob, her breath ghosting across her face with every exhale.

I watched her body get smaller and smaller as we drove away, and the vice constricting around my chest only got tighter as fear encased me. I didn’t know what to expect in the near future, and that terrified me. Would I come home to her as an empty shell of who she was? To an empty home? To divorce papers laid out on the kitchen island?

These thoughts wreaked havoc in my mind, my heartbeat ricocheting loudly through my head, and I couldn’t breathe. Each inhale was excruciating, my lungs felt like they were filled with mud and simply wouldn’t expand with the air I so desperately needed. I found myself choking and pulled at my jacket, trying to take some weight off my chest so I could just fucking breathe.

I was having a panic attack. I haven’t had one in years.

I tried my best to focus on something other than the way my lungs burned with each shallow breath that I took. The radio that was set on a low volume, the way the cab driver tapped his thumbs against the steering wheel along to the beat, the soft hum of the tires rolling over the pavement. Anything, something.

The last time that I had an attack, I was with Nick, and he helped me through it with the way he always kept his composure. He obviously wasn't here, but maybe if I called him, he'd be able to talk me out of it.

And so I did, somehow managing to get my phone out through the tunnel vision I had. He pulled me out of it by the time I made it to the airport. My head was clear, but breathing was still difficult, and during the flight, I started to cough.

"Sheesh, what happened to you? Liv give you two black eyes or somethin'?" I rolled my eyes at Folio's remark, him pointing out how dark the bags under my eyes were. "Yeah, something like that," I muttered, brushing past him to drop my bag at my bunk.

I was exhausted, mentally and physically, having barely slept the last couple of days due to not only the coughing and newly acquired sore throat, but the apprehension of whatever the fuck was going on with Liv—I didn't even sleep soundly while with her.

Normally I would want to jump right into the next show as a way to busy my mind, but for once I was thankful that the only task of the day was traveling to the next venue. I was obviously coming down with a cold and just needed rest, and maybe a cup of tea to help soothe the pain in my throat.

I absentmindedly cleared my throat at the thought, regretting it immediately from the burn that came from doing so.

"I'll be back," I grumbled, keeping my eyes on the floor as I began to make my exit from the bus. "Wait, where are you going? We're leaving in like an hour," Folio calls after me. I glanced over my shoulder at him, "I'm grabbing a tea, is that alright with you?" I snapped, immediately regretting my tone from the way he threw his hands up in surrender. I sighed and shook my head at myself. "Sorry, I'm just not feeling well, Nick." He gives me a quick nod, "All good. I'll, uh... Give you a buzz if you're cutting it close." I return the nod, promptly stepping off the bus to find somewhere to get said tea.

Though the air wasn't particularly cold, the slight breeze sent a chill straight to my bones. I shivered and flipped my hood up, pulling the drawstrings tight before burying my hands in the pockets of my hoodie. I knew that this cold was gonna hit me hard if I didn't take the necessary precautions, and I dreaded it. Now was not the time for this.

After a few minutes of wandering, I found a coffee shop and entered it with a sigh of relief once the door blocked the wind upon shutting. I took a gander around the quaint café, which has almost a rustic feel to it with the neutral tones and weathered wooden tables. Music floats through the air softly, and I walk further inside with a subtle smile. It felt homey.

I stepped up to the counter, asking the young woman for a small chamomile tea—with honey and lemon if available. She brandishes a friendly smile, and with a bounce in her step, she turns to prepare my tea. I notice how her ponytail of dark curls sprung loosely as she goes, and I’m immediately reminded of Liv.

I smile sadly to myself, reminiscing the way she would move so blissfully behind the counter when I’d pop in, preparing the chai that I regularly ordered. She would then join me at one of the tables with a cheery grin that reached her eyes, drinks and muffins in hand. She would tell me how her morning was going, ramble on enthusiastically about a new recipe or even new baking equipment—I didn’t mind what she talked about; I just admired the way her eyes sparkled with joy and the way her lips curled as she spoke.

“Sir?” A small voice breaks me out of my thoughts. I blink, shaking the fog from my head, and notice the tea that was now sitting in front of me. A wedge of lemon and a serving of honey sat on a tiny platter beside it. “Oh, sorry. Thank you,” I pressed my lips into a tight smile, reaching for the beverage. I quirked an eyebrow, noting it was quite large for the small I had ordered.

“You look like you could use it,” the woman behind the counter says, most likely noticing the quizzical look I flashed at the cup. I grimaced at her words—did I really look as bad as I felt? “That’s very kind of you,” I chuckled timidly. “But you didn’t have to do that." She gives me a shrug, sliding the items closer to me. “I know,” she muses. I could feel the heat radiating against my fingers as she grins at me. “Just an act of kindness, is all. You look a little lost.”

I snickered lightly and averted my gaze to my hands, nodding. Ain't that the truth.

"Anyways, enjoy," she says happily. "I hope the tea helps." I chuckled, taking my items. "Thanks, me too. Have a good rest of your evening." I pressed my lips into another close-mouthed smile and brought the tea over to a vacant table. I settled into the seat, took the lid off to let it cool and added the honey and lemon to my liking.

I stared at the steam billowing from the cup for God only knows how long, just mulling over the last couple of days. The anguish and uncertainty on Olivia's face, the way I knew her heart was shattering piece by piece as the tears fell from her eyes, the realization that she wasn't happy.

I thought about the way she felt in my arms before I left and the way I saw her crying as I was driven further away from her, now wondering if that was the last time I'd get to hold her. That thought was a sucker punch straight to my chest, and I once again felt like I couldn't breathe. I needed to fix this.

My phone buzzes in my pocket; I dig it out, seeing Folio's name on the screen. "Yeah, I'm coming," I muttered into the receiver, hanging up before he had a chance to say anything. I sighed while standing from my seat, placing the lid back on my cup, and brought my waste to the garbage.

I hope the tea helps.

"Me too," I mumbled under my breath, taking a large sip before leaving the café.

A week and four shows later, I was feeling worse than ever. No amount of tea, medication, or rest seemed to have helped at all. The cough progressed into a deep whooping cough, and I would be genuinely surprised if my throat wasn't bleeding by the end of the night from how much it burned.

Still, I threw my stage attire on and tried to prepare myself for tonight's show regardless of everyone's weariness. We only had a week left of the tour, and I'd hate to make it this far only to cancel our remaining shows, ultimately disappointing our fans because of a stupid cold.

I popped two Cepacol in my mouth, refraining from speaking so they would dissolve faster to numb my throat. It was only a temporary relief, but I'd take what I could get at this point.

Nicholas makes his way over to me, his bass slung across his torso as he places a hand on my back. "You sure you're okay to be doing this?" I nodded, avoiding the look of concern that I knew was strewn across his face. "I'm just getting worried, man. Last time this happened, you wound up in the hospital from smacking your head off the floor." "I'll be fine," I grumbled, beginning to walk away. "That was just pneumonia." "But the time before that—" I stopped dead in my tracks, spinning on my heel to look at him. "Don't. Don't fucking say it, Nicholas," I barked.

His lips remained parted, the words he wanted to say frozen in place from my hostility. His eyes danced over me, and I knew he could see how my chest was heaving. He knows how hard it is for me to breathe, he knows that it feels like there's a ton of bricks sitting on my chest. He knew the situation between me and Liv, and I knew what he was thinking, but I couldn't bear to hear it.

"I'm fine," I tell him once more while telling myself that it's just pneumonia. He straightens up, snapping his mouth shut, and nods. "Okay," he says, barely audible. I watched him swallow, his Adam's apple bobbing while his eyes bounced between mine apprehensively. He's searching for the sincerity in my words that I didn't have. I put my in-ears in, and with a staggering breath turned to head towards the stage, unable to keep looking at his sorrow-filled eyes.

Performing tonight was proven to be one of the most difficult tasks I've ever endured. With each falsetto note, razors dug into my throat, and my lungs rattled painfully with each breath. I was wheezing, trying my best to not erupt into a coughing fit until I finished whatever song we were playing. There were times when I just simply couldn't, and Jolly had to cover some of the vocals for me.

I could tell Jolly wasn't happy with me, aggravation heavy in his features as he glanced at me—not because he had to sing, but under the circumstances as to why he had to. He was the one who tried harder than anyone in our crew to get me to sit out and cancel the show, but of course, my stubborn ass just wouldn't do that. I couldn't.

We had one last song before our encore, and I was relieved knowing that I'd be able to take a breather soon. As I began the opening of 'Just Pretend', the crowd erupted in a roaring cheer like I knew they would. Normally the energy would radiate through me, giving me this high, this adrenaline that could make me run a marathon, but as the second verse hit, everything made a turn for the worse.

I know the pain That you hide behind the smile on your face And not a day Goes by where I don't think I feel the same

All I could see was the forced smile on Olivia's face from all those times I would tell her I'd make it up to her, or as of late when I told her that I loved her. The smile she had when she opened her Christmas present, that quickly faltered and turned into tears when she confessed that she felt this marriage was falling apart.

I can wait for you at the bottom I can stay away if you want me to I can wait for years if I gotta Heaven knows I ain't getting over you

It was ironic, how this song I wrote that was more or less a joke, was suddenly so fucking relatable.

We'll try again When we're not so different We will make amends Til then I'll just pretend

My heart sank as I continued to sing the words, tears springing to my eyes, and I squeezed them shut before the cameras around me would notice. I was losing Olivia, and it was fucking killing me. The more I thought about it, the more I struggled to breathe. The razors in my throat were suddenly in my lungs, and each inhale was more painful than the last. I couldn't handle the searing pain in my chest and throat for much longer.

I choked on my last inhale, my eyes shooting open in a panic as I gasped for air. The mic slips from my hand, feedback screeching through the speakers as it tumbles on the stage. I covered my ears quickly, the sound piercing through me and shooting a chill down my spine. There's a chorus of gasps, and I know the crowd is most likely in shock by the way I stopped singing so abruptly.

I ran off the stage from not only humiliation but hysteria, coughing relentlessly. Everything hurt so fucking bad—the fire in my throat, the vice around my chest, my heart shattering into a million pieces, and of course that dreadfully familiar pain in my lungs as something clawed into me on its way out.

I buckled and collapsed, catching myself on my hands and knees. The hacking never subsided, even after I finally expelled what was in my lungs. Through teary eyes, I saw the blotches of red on the floor below me and knew that my biggest fear had come true. The coughing was soon replaced by sobbing as the rose petals stared back at me, and tiny thorns scattered about—I lost Olivia.

She doesn't love me anymore.

|Chapter 14|

#fanfic #fan fiction #noah sebastian #bad omens #bad omens band #fanfic writing #romance #fantasy #quandary #sequel #hanahaki #hanahaki disease #noah sebastian fanfic #noah sebastian x oc

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