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wildshadowtamer · 2 years

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CONSIDERING IM THE CO-CREATOR OF AN AU BASED AROUND THE PNF CAST BEING GODS, ID LOVE LOVE LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR HIDDEN GODS AU!!!!! UNLESS I MISINTERPRETED SOMETHIN LOL

OH MY GOD HI

ok so i made the au before i found yours but i changed a few aspects afterwards, but basically: (sorry if this is everywhere, i wrote half of it at 7am, slept, and wrote the rest of it at like 6pm in a heatwave)

Hidden Gods is an au where most of the cast are incarnations of deities, and hide it from Danville, they know eachother are gods, but nobody else does. Their powers range from subtle to extreme, and plants are a reoccuring power bc im weak for flower symbolism. Here’s like, big info of characters, but if you want specifics feel free to ask!

taken directly from my notes, the city history of Danville and Gods: “After being created at the beginning of time by gods, Danville has remained the central hub for gods and demigods alike. Though the people of Danville are unaware the city rumour is true, there’s so many strange things in the city that nobody would be particularly surprised. Though, some supervillains are awfully keen to find the gods amongst mortals, to use for their own sick experiments. These supervillains, however, are excommunicated from the Danville Villainous Community, as many high-ranking villains are gods or have godly children. So, thanks to the security the walled-in city offers, when people discover they or their family members are gods, they move to Danville for safety and community.“

SO: Phineas is the god of luck, he's incapable of being hurt and every situation turns out good, even if parts of it were bad. He loves wearing lucky charms (like horseshoe pins and clover bracelets) and he always makes sure his shirt has 7 stripes (a lucky number). His existence powers all luck in Danville, and honestly his luck aura is probably why villains never manage to take over Danville. He can focus the luck into bubbles of them to put people in, but it takes a lot of power and he can overload easily from it

Ferb is the god of summer, and his powers cover the entirety of Danville- but only danville. he can make summer go on for as long as he wants, even if its winter outside of the city walls. He was the first in the summer gang to realise he was a god, at a fairly young age, as his is far more direct than phineas'. He can grow summer plants, manipulate tempreatures, he's constantly running hot, and if he gets mad enough he can pull the summer/heat out of a room to make it winter. he also doesnt need to eat bc he photosynthesises, so he has a love/hate deal with storms (love for water, hate for clouds). Summer is naturally his favourite season bc hes the god of it and phineas is always happiest in summer, so he usually needs to be talked into letting summer go until next year

Candace is the god(dess) of fire, and partially made of fire. her hair (which is waist-length) is made of fire and curls into dark smoke at the bottom, and if angry enough she can literally light herself on fire (or more specifically turn her human body into a fire body, though not on command). Naturally, she sets things on fire by mistake a lot, just from her frustration, but water and cold can help, though if left in it for too long it will hurt her. she doesnt know how to swim due to this. like ferb, she has temp manipulation and gets her energy from the sun, so she especially hates storms

Linda is a mortal, a mortal who somehow managed to marry two gods in a row and raise three demigods without a single scar, Lawrence likes joking that she's the god of patience. She rolls with just about anything said to her bc her daughter bursting into flames has been a regular occurance since she was 3, so not much can phase her anymore. She's unaware of anyone outside of her family being gods, despite their complete lack of subtly

Lawrence is the god of History and Time, and his 'spirit' (godhood) was the first one to exist. He remembers every historical event, and has lived through all of them as well, though he has no memories of his past personal lives nor the lives of other gods. So naturally he's a history nerd, even though watching history content gives him migraines. Due to how old his spirit is, his body is perpetually in pain, but he manages it with painkillers. His late wife was a mortal, but was a "god's assistant", though he never asked which one. He may have some secrets about his own history.

Isabella is the god(dess) of Spring, though she doesn't need to photosyntheses like Ferb. instead, she can't be in too much heat, and can only grow spring flowers. Animals, particularly young ones, love to follow her around, and she can call them if needed. she particularly likes growing clovers, for no particularly reason of course. she just likes the uh, green of them. sure.

Buford is the god of space, his eyes are pitch black and his freckles are constellations. in low light, his eyes become galaxies, and he can project those same galaxies onto surfaces, or even nighttime bubbles around areas. He doesnt need to breathe, and knows alien languages without trying, but he can also turn his gravity off. sometimes, if he's not focusing, he'll float without meaning too. He's the reason phineas and ferb learnt how to lasso, so he wouldn't float away.

Baljeet is the god of premonition and visions, he can see the future and sometimes gets omens for events that happen weeks or months away, years even. but he can't change it, usually. He's the first one of the group who'll know if their cover is blown, because he once got an omen of that happening. though, when it happened, it was actually just him meeting phineas and ferb as little kids. due to the omens, though, sometimes his anxiety gets pretty bad, so he likes to look at stars to calm down. and he totally didnt call buford Stargaze once.

Irving does not exist in this au, the fireside girls are mortals but assistants to isabella, and django + jenny are also mortals, though they dont actually know about the godhood. I’ve yet to decide on jeremy and stacy.

(HUMAN) Perry has two titles, The God of Flora, and The God of Disguise. like his life and work, throughout history the god of flora and the god of disguise have been considered two different gods, when every time it was the same person. At home, his powers are plants, any kind of plant, he's not bound by seasons, though for some reason he always runs cold. When hes mad, vines will sprout up and hold him back, even if they leave thorns behind once hes calmed. When hes sick or upset, he'll cough up petals. At work, he's a shapeshifter, usually a platypus, though occasionally an ocelot, which his teammates take to mean Calvin the Cat- one of his friends- but we know the truth. He stays primarily human, atleast at the beginning of missions, but he does usually stay partially shifted to have webbed hands, venom, and bioluminescence (the latter is purely for his own entertainment). If hes shifted and too distressed/stressed, he can rapid fire switch, resulting in him "glitching" (losing control of his shapeshifting ability until hes calmed)

Heinz is the god of Memories, though he's also invincible. Nobody ever questions that part. Anyway, his powers are more lowkey, being able to project his memories into other people's heads like a movie, and having a picture perfect memory. However, this often backfires due to his traumatic past. Who knew being unable to forget things was bad for you. Despite being able to literally project his thoughts, he still keeps a scrapbook of his positive memories. Despite being invincible, he still managed to lose his arms, though when asked he just goes on a long rant about "some redhead in evil college" and "his weird assistant friend"

Vanessa is the god(dess) of Night and Dark, and essentially functions like a vampire. light hurts her, so she covers up and wears shades. she can control the light of a room, and can make darkness bubbles, and also travel through shadows. The true definition of Born To Be Goth, and definitely caused her father several heart attacks over the years, both from the light = burning, and from the shadow walking.

Monogram is the god of Deceit. Verbally, he's incapable of telling the truth, so he signs. but in Sign, he's incapable of lying. He likes messing with people sometimes, as everything he says outloud is either a contradiction or an outright lie, but usually he signs for the sake of everyone's sanity. He can also go invisible, and his mirror reflection is always in the opposite colors to him. Not skin wise, but everything else is the opposite color. It took him the first 14 years of his life to realise he had blue eyes, not red. He can also go invisible, but that takes more power the longer hes using it, so he doesnt like to. He's been out of field since Monty was a baby, anyway, but that's a different headcanon.

speaking of Monty, he is the god of Autumn, he can create fungus instead of plants, fog and rain too, he's immune to the cold, and he can induce sleep or nostalgia onto anyone. However, he's constantly tired, is impossible to wake up once hes asleep, and is immune to plant poison. he didnt find the latter part out until he was about 10, so his parents had several years worth of frantically dragging their child away from eating deadly things like mushrooms and yewberries. He adores the aesthetic that mortals have made for his season, so he's always seen in a scarf, hoodie, and beanie, even in a heatwave. Even though he's absolutely not heat immune, i never said he was smart

(HUMAN) Pinky is the god of electricity, which is why he's constantly shaking, its static buildup he tends to accidentally let loose on other agents, and occassionally his baby cousin Isabella. He has a special way of fighting thanks to his powers; either focus the electricity and make his fingerguns into fingertazers, or use the electricity to essentially be a makeshift Flash and nyoom after villains. His hair is incapable of taming, as it's always frazzled and static-shocked. The garcia-shapiros do not own carpet. a power overload can cause anxiety attacks, sensory overloads, or just knock him out entirely.

(HUMAN) Peter is the god of Winter and Weather, his winter powers are more passive, while his weather powers are more tied to his emotions. winter-wise he can make ice, manipulate snow, change a room’s tempreature (particularly if he’s mad, it’ll go ice cold), he can make blizzards and eternal winters under stress, his hands get icy when hes mad, he has no heartbeat, and his hands + mouth are always cold (the kind of cold like when you just had a popsicle). Weather-wise, based on emotion, clouds can appear over his head and rain/thunder/snow/etc (like pepa from encanto), which also means he can make storms and fog. At the cost of much of his energy, he can even emotionally influence people, though he doesnt like to. Like his powers, he’s cold, and is often in a bad mood on hot days. Unlike the other seasonal gods, his appearance is affected by his powers, with his white hair streaks having a snow-like effect when caught in light, and his blue eyes (even when covered with his shades) are the color of ice, and have little snowflakes in them.

Mystery is the god of, well, Mystery, and Mimicry. Real name Miguel “Miggs” Ortega, he has fairly straight forward powers. He can shapeshift into other people- not animals, teleport, go invisible, and mimic voices. Without the mask, he has an uncanny valley effect, with something always looking off, though nobody can ever pinpoint what. It actually hurts to look at him without the mask due to the fact hes just hard to process. Alongside that, his shadow is like peter pan’s (or that guy from princess and the frog), even though he’s quite sick of his shadow by now. He once tried to shapeshift into Peter’s civilian form to find out his identity, but is possibly more faceblind than Heinz and had no clue who he was, so he gave up with that plan. Outside of work, he’s a teacher, and a dumbass, with his closest work friend being a weirdly cold-skinned guy who reminds him of someone. (a god of mimicry with face blindness, how ironic). When visting family, he loves to prank his baby cousins with his powers, and help them prank the neighbours kids (and weirdly familiar uncle) in return.

Other, less important gods are Carl (Knowledge), Carla (Sight), Rodney (Animals), his son Orville (shapeshifting), some weird redhead (creativity), his equally weird son (light, an oc), Bannister (Music), his nonhuman daughter (Hypnotism, an oc), and some other villain kid ocs of mine.

this is a long post already but things i want to mention: -the day Linda found out she married a god. twice. (two wildly different powers) -the day Linda found out her child was a god. four times. (yes, four, so much destruction) -the day Lawrence found out his child was a god. twice. (yes, two, so many flowers) -Heinz finding out his infant daughter was essentially allergic to light and going mildly overboard with precautions. Perry had to talk him down from painting the walls black, he ended up compromising to just paint Vanessa’s room black. -Perry finding out infant ferb also had plant powers and being really proud about it -the amount of times Candace has probably set Perry on fire bc he was covered in flowers and she didnt realise -Perry unwillingly sprouting flowers around Heinz and Vanessa absolutely knowing the flower meanings. She has been bribed into silence by promises of receveing albums and hot topic merch. -Perry attaching a big umbrellary leaf to kid Vanessa’s backpack so she can go outside with shade (big sun hats work fine but heinz was almost overloading from worry so Perry stepped in to help)

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archester-creations · 2 years

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lost pictures

The contact on her phone stared back at her. Not for the first time she actually kind of questioned contacting him. If her dad found out, he’d be so disappointed. But it wasn’t like she was calling him instead because she hated her dad! He could just be… Well. Embarrassing. A bit much. Over protective. Not saying he wasn’t, too. He was just less so. Maybe it was his nephew's influence vs her being her dad’s only child, but oftentimes he was simply more willing to trust that she could handle herself. He was less likely to jump in unnecessarily than her dad was. Which was exactly what she wanted for this school trip.

Hey Perry | I need a favour |

| ?

Can you pretend to be my dad for a school field trip? |

Not like it'd be hard, Vanessa thought as she tapped the side of her phone, waiting for his reply. Over the years, staying with her dad and Perry slowly went from ‘dealing with my dad and his nemesis’ to ‘dealing with my two dads and their weird career choices’. Not that she'd tell them that. No, she'd let them figure that stuff out on their own. Her hands were washed of at least that part of their insanity.

| Dr. D?

He’s fine |

But mom is busy |

And you /know/ how dad is |

He can be so embarrassing and over protective and just |

So much |

And its just for a small school trip! Were going out of danville and i know hed be so much more protective |

She could practically see Perry raise his eyebrow at her, so she tacked on a hopeful ‘Please, perry?’

| What day?

Vanessa brightened up, smiling at her phone. Thank god. Now she'd just have to tell her teachers that her other dad is coming with. And with what happened last year, they’ll probably be too relieved to question it. The small pros of having your dad swear vengeance on cows during a field trip. She quickly sent him the dates so he could ask off.

With that done, she let herself finally focus on the rest of the planning. Or, packing. She'd gotten her mom to sign off on this trip before she contacted Perry. Since she was her original go-to. Unfortunately she was unable to go. It'll be interesting to see Perry as a school field trip chaperone. Maybe she could get him to show her places other than the ones the school took them to. There's no way the secret agent hasn't been to Washington before.

“Mr. Perrin Fletcher?” The short, stocky teacher looked at her clipboard then up at the both of them under her glasses. “Isn't that a different last name from your father’s?”

Vanessa shrugged. “Work related reasons. With my dad being a scientist he didn't want to confuse the scientific community with a name change in case he made some big discovery or anything.” She waved her hands in a half approximation of jazz hands and rolled her eyes like she thought it was dumb.

The teacher hummed, seeming to trust the reasoning, and moved on. Vanessa sighed with relief once the teacher was mostly out of sight. That wasn't a question she'd actually planned for. It was almost weird to even have it questioned. Fletcher or Doofenshmirtz, Perry was as much a staple of her life as her dad was. To have it questioned was like being questioned if she was really related to her dad. Which… come to think of it, she has been. Huh. Suddenly some of the teachers she’s had feel a touch more rude and she narrows her eyes in annoyance. Perry sent her a questioning look that she waved away. “I'm fine, Perry.” An eyebrow was raised but he left it, which she appreciated. He grabbed her extra bag and led the way into the bus when the door opened. They ended up in the middle of the bus on the side diagonal to the door. She couldn't help but wonder if it was strategic. The second they sat, Vanessa put her headphones in. Perry looked around a moment (definitely strategic) before he got his reading glasses and a book out.

A few hours later, they were in Washington and Vanessa wanted to stretch . Also eat. Neither Perry nor her brought food with them to eat on the bus, like the other students and parents had. (Both of them knew if her dad had known, he would’ve packed something for them and they silently mourned the loss together.) The second they got off Vanessa popped her back so loudly, Perry actually looked concerned.

“Alright, let’s get some food before we head to the hotel room,” Vanessa said and Perry easily agreed. They ended up in their room with taco bell.

The first day was nice, if a little boring. Though a highlight was definitely when Lacie told her ‘your dad doesn't do much, does he?’ and she had to keep a straight face as she told her ‘no. no he doesn't’.

The second day was where it got unexpectedly (which was really on Vanessa, she should expect this by now. Perry was just as much a weird magnet as her dad was.) exciting. The class had just separated to head to different smithsonians. Vanessa and Perry made their way to the American Art Museum. For the first half Vanessa got exactly what she'd expected. She appreciated and made fun of the art in equal measures. Next to her, Perry made some disapproving expressions with a half smile before he joined as well. (Modern art apparently was a joke goldmine for him.) Then a room caught her eye. More specifically, a person in the room. They looked familiar and she nudged Perry, gesturing subtlety to him when Perry looked up. It was great having someone for once who knew how to look without drawing attention.

There was a shorter man in the room (though Perry knew with slight distaste the man was taller than him), black hair tied up in a loose bun and dark eyes highlighted by dark circles that told of a lifetime of missed sleep. Or perhaps just a few weeks. He wasn't in his normal black dress shirt and white tie but Perry recognized him easily. Years of OWCA training had him good with faces. Months of furious dislike followed by more months of much calmer dislike where they no longer tried to rip each other's throats out when they met- okay, fine, Perry can admit perhaps eight times out of ten he was the one who started those fights. Of course the times when OWCA purposely assigned them together to help them work out their issues' didn't help.- made it much easier. Peter, code name: Panda. The third agent P. He squinted, annoyance crawling up his chest. When he'd agreed to accompany Vanessa for her trip to Washington, he knew there was a chance to run into him. It was low because Peter usually worked out of Seattle, but all of them moved around occasionally. They were secret agents, they didn't only fight their scientists even if it was usually their main job. For the ones of them assigned a scientist, at least. Perry had really hoped they wouldn't run into each other.

“You know him?” Vanessa whispered and Perry realized she must've caught his split second realization. A spark of pride welled in him. There were some newer recruits he knew that wouldn't of caught that flicker of emotion cross his face. Though he tamped it down to shake his head. “Bullshit. You do . I swear I've seen him before, too.”

Perry frowned and tracked his memory. Had she seen him? Well, she'd been there for some of his own battles against Heinz. And… there were ones he didn't see. Which means she could've met him and he didn't know. Of course, if she did the lack of Heinz mentioning it at least meant that Vanessa didn't join in even if she was there. While that no doubt disappointed Heinz, Perry couldn't help but be happy by that. A light appeared in Vanessa’s eyes.

“Ooo ooh .” There was a smirk that Perry didn't like. It reminded him of himself . “It's that other agent.”

His eyebrow twitched. Like a traitor, Vanessa laughed. Made fun of by his own fake daughter. He sighed.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t see much of him but I still think you’re cooler.” Vanessa winked at him and he couldn’t deny it made him feel a bit better. “Now let’s see what he’s doing.”

Quickly, Perry shook his head. This was not around where Peter lived (all agents lived in the same city as their assigned scientist) and he doubted Peter was here to appreciate the art. Which meant it had to be a mission. A non-Mystery related one, because while Perry could believe that Peter just liked the art, Mystery absolutely did not strike him as an art guy. Also because he'd remembered Pinky mentioning a recent string of art-thefts. Not only did he not want to interact with Peter in general, he didn't think Heinz would like it if he got Vanessa involved in a more serious OWCA-related case.

“Come on, Perry, please ?” And Vanessa took a step toward the mostly-empty-room with Peter inside it. “Don't you want to see what your rival is up to?” ‘Rival’ felt like it held the weight of multiple meanings; the way it was light and teasing but formed around a knowing smile with emphasis. Platonic- rival at work, during training, in the field. Romantic- rival in love. She continued her way backward until she turned on her heel and entered the room. Perry sighed and begrudgingly followed.

“ Hey , Peter,” Vanessa whispered before she got too close to Peter. She'd already seen her dad surprise Perry once before. If Peter actually was half as good as Perry, she wanted to announce her presence before his reflexes kicked in. The agent turned to her with an eyebrow raise. Only one swipe of his eyes and he let recognition show.

“Dr. Doofenshmirtz?”

“Not here.” Vanessa shook her head. A half-smile curled her lip. “I have a different chaperone.”

Peter looked at her questioningly, no doubt concerned with her expression. The moment he noticed Perry behind her was clear. Annoyance flashed along dark eyes. The corner of his lip twitched downward for the barest second. It kinda reminded her of Lacie whenever she had to interact with someone she didn't like in class. Except Lacie wasn't an agent who professionally wiped those emotions off their face the second they occurred. Though she wondered if Peter ever complained about interacting with Perry to anyone. Maybe the Professor Mystery her dad had mentioned?

“Perry,” Peter said tartly. It sounded like cold professionalism and it kind of made Vanessa want to laugh. Especially when Perry nodded in the same way. She wondered if this was how they interacted at work.

“What are you doing here?” Peter asked.

Perry nodded slightly toward Vanessa. “ School trip ,” he signed, then pointed at Peter, his head tilted and an eyebrow raised.

Peter raised both eyebrows. “Mission. Classified.” It was easy to catch the smug ‘need to know basis’ undertone. Red-brown eyes narrowed in annoyance.

There was definitely a fight brewing between the agents. In the corner of her eye, Vanessa caught sight of a pair of twins she recognized. Unlike Perry and her, who decided on just walking around, it looked like their parents had gotten an actual tour guide. Some young adult who looked tired and definitely worked there. Who had the power to kick them out if they made a scene. While she had led them here, that wasn't something she wanted. There were still sections she wanted to be able to look at. Plus, she'd gotten the information she wanted. She grabbed Perry’s hand to pull him away. “Come on dad, let's get back.”

A moment of confusion appeared on Peter before he smiled and let out half a laugh. “Have a good tour,” he said and turned away to leave through the door at the far end of the room, heading deeper into the museum.

“Hey Perry.” Perry looked over at her. “I know what we’re gonna do today.”

Perry shook his head. No, whatever it was it was dangerous, much as he did want to know what his supposed ‘classified’ mission was.

“I’m pretty sure Peter’ll hate it. Especially if we complete whatever mission it is first.”

… Vanessa was right. Peter would absolutely hate that. Fuck. “ Safely ,” Perry signed firmly.

“Of course ,” Vanessa said with a smile and maybe had she not been Dr. D’s daughter and clearly influenced by both the doctor and himself , he’d be more inclined to believe her. At least he knew just who to text for information. The second agent P.

The second he texted Pinky, asking what Peter’s mission was, the videocall rang. He frowned at the phone and answered. Immediately Pinky came into view, their long hair tied up in a ponytail and a tanktop on. Which meant Pinky was home and not at OWCA. Their laptop was in view, though the screen wasn’t.

“Why do you want to know?” Pinky leaned on a hand, half turned away from the laptop.

“We want to beat him to it,” Vanessa answered from behind him and he could see her popping into frame through the tiny box in the corner that showed him his own side of the call.

“Wait. Are you- Why are you even in Washington right now?”

For the second time that day, Perry signed “ School trip.”

Pinky’s eyebrow raised. “Is that your daughter?” There was no way Pinky didn't know the answer to that. Their families were neighbors, after all. And close on top of that. Plus Perry had told Pinky enough about her that he knew they knew exactly who she was. He almost rolled his eyes at the question.

“Yep,” Vanessa said and Pinky smiled. Apparently the agent approved. On the other hand, Perry felt his face grow hot. It was one thing to pretend to be her dad for the school. It was another to have two people who knew he wasn't her dad refer to him that way anyhow while they were fully alone. And even speaking on a secure channel. (Any electronic communication with Pinky was secure. The other agent had the of scrambling any and all lines- and doing it double when they were in contact with Perry. It was something he greatly appreciated about his friend.)

“ Mission ,” Perry cut in.

“Right,” Pinky gave him a shit-eating grin and he had the feeling Vanessa’s expression would be similar if he looked. He refrained. “I'll look that up now. You remember my price?” Perry nodded with a sigh. He'd have to ask Linda to make another pie.

“Price?” Vanessa questioned.

“Of course,” Pinky flashed a smile toward Vanessa, only taking their eyes off the laptop for a moment. “I don't normally do non-work related hacking and information gathering pro bono.”

Vanessa’s eyes widened and she glanced at Perry who didn't even flinch. Hacking ? As far as she knew, Perry did some hacking. But if he was going to this agent they must be even better. And if they did work outside the OWCA, they were definitely better. “What's your price? Do you teach?”

They looked over at her. “It depends on the job. Though Perry’s a friend, so I just get him to bring me food. I've taught my sobrina some but I've never taught anyone else. Why, looking for lessons?”

“ Absolutely ,” Vanessa said and Perry wasn't very surprised. It wasn't exactly a secret to him that Vanessa was interested in OWCA. From everything he’s seen from her over the years and everything he’s heard from Dr. D, he knew she’d be a good agent too. Though she hadn’t talked to Dr. D about it yet. That was one of those things Perry knew would lead to a discussion between them. Since that hasn’t happened, he knew she hadn’t told him yet. He looked from Vanessa to Pinky hacking into mission files beyond the screen. No doubt this would lead to that talk. Until then he’d be keeping a closer eye on Vanessa. There was no doubt in his mind she could do it and he’d be there for anything she needed. It kind of reminded him of training the new recruits. Except more important, somehow. Probably because it was Vanessa. Pinky said something, and Vanessa’s face lit up with interest. Perry wished Dr. D was here to see it.

“Remember those art thefts I’d told you about, Perry? The hired ones. Looks like our friend got assigned the mission to stop them,” Pinky said, phone already repositioned so they could look at their phone and laptop at the same time. “And the next painting is scheduled to be stolen tomorrow night. Before you ask, I found it. Among the Sierra Nevada, California .” The camera turned to show a painting. Large clouds and mist swirled over mountains. Multiple waterfalls spilled into a lake with deer at its grassy shore. Perry looked over to the painting they’d found Peter at, Vanessa doing the same. They were identical. According to the label it was made in London before touring through Europe, to St. Petersburg, and ultimately to America.

“Well, we don’t have to find it,” Vanessa said. Taking it as a cue, Perry turned the camera to show Pinky.

“Oh good. You guys got lucky, too. It was in storage last month,” Pinky said. “Now if you’ll excuse me.” Perry nodded his goodbye and Pinky hung up.

“So what now?” Vanessa asked. “Do we talk to the museum? Stake out the painting? Swap it with a fake?”

“ Wait .” At this point, that was their best bet. They couldn’t talk to the museum. If asked, they couldn’t reveal where they’d gotten the knowledge and it could interfere with whatever Peter planned. While he was okay with having a one-sided competition with Peter, he wasn’t okay with compromising another agent’s mission. And he was certain Peter hadn’t told the museum either. “ Plan .”

“Hey, Monobrow,” Heinz tapped the screen and Monogram looked over. “Do you know where Perry the Platypus is?”

Monogram raised his monobrow. He didn’t even ask how the evil scientist acquired access to the screen. Later he’d have to get Carl to fix that. “He requested a few vacation days recently. As far as I know he left yesterday morning.” He narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

“... no real reason,” Heinz said, eyes briefly looking off screen. “When do you think he’ll be back ?”

“In a few days, Heinz. No evil till then,” Monogram said.

“Yeah, yeah,” Heinz waved toward the screen. Then he shut it off. Apparently he’d have to find a way to entertain himself for a few days. Since Vanessa said she couldn’t come over and Perry was on vacation . Which was fine, the agent needed the rest. Hopefully he’d get some sleep . Something he’d love to get too, but he knew he was too wired for that. There was some cleaning he’d been putting off that he could get done today. And maybe tomorrow he could head to Washington. It’d been a while since he’d last had tea with Peter the Panda. He wondered how things were going with him and Mystery . He’d have to remember to call Peter later. Secret agent’s schedules could be so busy .

The next day after the smithsonian was interesting, if not very eventful. Though it was definitely fun. Even with Vanessa getting distracted occasionally, wondering how they'd deal with the theft set up for the night. Their class went to the zoo and broke into groups. Lacie and her aunt went with them. They walked around for hours. It was a bigger zoo than the one in Danville. Vanessa didn't think they could see it all even if they had the full day. But they did see the ‘important’ exhibits.

(“Dad, platypi! Do you think you're related to any of them?” Vanessa whispered at the platypus enclosure and Perry shot her an annoyed look that made her smile.)

(Perry nudged her with his elbow and when she looked, he pointed to her eyes and then one of the ocelots. She frowned at him. It was easy to translate- you have their eyes .

“I do not,” Vanessa said, glaring at his smirk.)

Eventually the day ended, though. Her classmates all went back to their small hotel rooms with their parents. And Vanessa and Perry snuck out for the museum.

It was dark inside. The museum had closed two hours ago. Perry took out his grappling hook and handed it to Vanessa to use. Since he only had one, one of them would have to climb the rope and he'd prefer it be him. She weighed it in her hand and smiled at him. Again, Perry wished Dr. D was here. It may not have been evil, but he knew his nemesis would've loved to see the light in his daughter’s eyes. When they got back he'd have to tell Dr. D about it. Of course, a few details would have to be left out but-

But he wouldn't be able to tell Heinz anything. Because he'd feel terrible knowing that he missed a trip with his little girl. Perry didn't regret going with Vanessa. Knowing that Dr. D didn't get to go too hurt, though. How many pictures could Perry feasibly take to make it better? To make it like Dr. D had been there himself? He knew Dr. D wouldn't complain or say it hurt, but could be take the edge off? He blinked and shook the thoughts away. Right now, they had a thief to stop. They had a plan to follow. Vanessa looked at him and when he nodded, she shot.

The grappling hook moved in a near perfect arc, up and up until it disappeared over the edge of the roof. Vanessa tightened it to make sure it stuck. Then she pressed the button and the rope pulled her up. Perry kept an eye on her as she went, ready to catch her in case anything happened. Thankfully nothing did. The rope came back down and he tested it before he shimmied his way up. They entered the museum through a vent and landed in the Lunder Conservation Center on the fourth floor, in the west wing. Down two floors in the east wing sat the painting. They'd have to go through at least three security locked doors to get there. Luckily, Perry had an all access badge. A badge that feasibly opened any and all doors that could be opened with a badge. There were two of them in existence. He'd helped Pinky make the badges a while back, when Pinky had been on their own non-owca mission. The Fireside Girls and Isabella had been in trouble then. Though they didn't know it then nor would they ever. They'd managed to get the badges to work in under two hours.

He pressed the badge against the reader and for a second it flashed red before the light turned green and the lock clicked. Vanessa gave him a look as he opened the door. The badges were a secret between him and Pinky. With a wink he pressed a finger to his lips. She rolled her eyes and passed through before him. With a smile he followed. (Honestly, sometimes messing with Vanessa felt like messing with Candace. Though the pride he felt with her half annoyed reactions was often… stronger. He had a feeling he knew what that meant and he’s sure Vanessa knew too.)

The lights are off when they get to the landscape gallery and Perry gestured Vanessa to crouch as he did the same. From what Perry got last night, the security guard should still be on the first floor. But the security guard wasn't all they had to watch for. There was the thief, and he didn't know how Peter would get in. Maybe through the vents. For now, they would wait outside the door out of sight and watch and listen.

It's when Vanessa shifts because her foot was falling asleep that something happens. A door opened quietly enough Perry almost missed it. He turned around just enough to see behind them and red-brown eyes met black ones. Looked like Peter found them first. Peter’s eyebrows lowered angrily and he crouched but that didn't erase the annoyed set of his jaw or the stiffness of his spine.

“What are you doing here?” Peter hissed at him the second he was close enough to do so.

Perry gave him a thin smile and shrugged. Peter glared in return.

“This is not your mission. Leave ,” Peter said. Beside Perry, Vanessa smothered a snort. Not well enough for Peter to miss it, though, given the brief glower. Perry himself had a brief war of reactions of laughing at that and sending Vanessa a quick but pointed glare. The glare won.

“You're as bad as dad at doing what you're told to,” Vanessa said, not looking apologetic or chastised in the slightest. Perry narrowed his eyes at her. But she was kind of right. Though he'd argue he'd gotten worse in the years (suspiciously close to when he'd been assigned Heinz).

“Take your daughter and leave me to my mission,” Peter repeated like they hadn't said anything. They ignored him again, like he hadn't said anything. There were footsteps that Perry could hear now, anyway. And they were running. Like a guard had noticed something and was making their way over, except Perry highly doubted it was a guard. Even when he saw the man running in a guard uniform. From the look Peter shot him, the other agent didn't buy it either. After all, why would a night guard be running toward them? There had been no other set of footsteps. The night guard stopped, his heels skidding against the floor. Perry looked up from his spot on the floor, taking in his appearance. The man was tall- taller than average- and lanky. Though the guard’s hat obscured his eye colour, it did not obscure his monkey face or his dark sideburns.

“Fellas,” the guard said. “What are you doing here?”

Peter shared a look with Perry before answering. “Official business.”

“Oh, official, huh?” The guard said as he rocked back on his heels. Perry got the feeling that if he'd been chewing gum in that moment, he would've popped it. “Then why don’t I know about it?”

Both Perry and Peter narrowed their eyes at him. From the beginning Perry guessed he wasn’t the real guard. That just confirmed it for him. There was no way Peter wouldn’t follow proper mission protocol, especially informing the museum of the stakeout. “Because you don’t work here,” Peter said.

The guard raised his eyebrows and looked from his guard uniform- the same uniform they’d seen the guards the day before were wearing- and the three of them. Peter in his black and white suit and fedora; Perry in the darkest shirt he’d packed along with his own fedora; Vanessa in her usual all black, though she’d traded out the dress for pants. None of them dressed like they worked there. Or in clothes that would exactly denote them as doing something ‘official’. Especially for a museum. Though out of all of them, Vanessa’s probably read most as ‘possible thief’. So there was that. Apparently Peter was done talking because he shot up out of his crouch to tackle the guard. The guard who spun easily out of the way despite his lanky limbs.

“Pops has a hat like this, I wonder if you know him?” The guard spun Peter’s hat around his pointer finger. Peter’s eyes widened slightly and he put a hand to his now-hatless head before he glared darkly. That had to be the first time the other agent ever lost his hat. Except possibly to Mystery. “Probably not, he wouldn’t send someone else after me and he’s more prone to weapons.”

Peter narrowed his eyes at the guard. “Give that back.”

“Sure.” The guard shrugged. “It’s not what I’m here for, anyway.” He threw it at Peter and bolted left, toward the painting. Perry jumped diagonally toward him. But the guard spun out of the way. It was like a dance and Perry usually liked the dance, but he liked it less with Vanessa so close. Not that she couldn’t handle herself. Over the years Perry had learned just how resourceful the girl was. But she was under his charge and wasn’t actually a trainee agent. ( Yet , from the way she talked. If she could convince Dr. D. Though Dr. D loved Vanessa so much Perry was sure it wouldn’t take much.)

The guard lifted the painting from the wall, carelessly rolled it into a tube in a single movement, and tucked it under his arm. “ This is what I came for.” He bowed to them and Perry growled. Before he could use his grappling hook to lasso the guard, Vanessa shot past him. It was foolhardy and it was fully a move Perry had done as a much younger agent, back when he was barely Vanessa’s age. She moved too quickly for him to grab her. But not too quickly for the guard, who grabbed her by the wrist once she got closer and spun her toward himself. That moment was the first time Perry noticed the guard had a gun and he cursed himself for it. It was careless and he was better than that. The gun was turned to his daughter and Perry felt his heart stop for a long moment where he planned every possible action he could take– until the guard gave a lopsided, curling smile.

The monkey-faced guard danced back, pushing Vanessa forward at the same time. She stumbled slightly with it. “I’d never shoot a lady.”

There was the honk of a car horn outside, and the guard turned his head to the window, lighting up. He went to the window to look out it. Like he’d completely forgotten the three of them were there. Or that he simply didn’t care. “Jigen! Right on time as always.” The guard looked back at them. “Well, that’s my cue!” Then he shot a few bullets at the glass and jumped. Peter ran to the window. With a growl he turned to Perry.

“He landed in a convertible. I’m going to follow it, you two stay here . This is my mission,” Peter said.

“ Actually ,” Vanessa said. She held up a rolled up tube. “He doesn’t have the painting.”

“What?” Peter turned to her from the broken window. Perry raised an eyebrow. With a smile, Vanessa unrolled the paper to reveal the painting they’d just watched the guard steal.

“I grabbed this when he pushed me away,” Vanessa said. Perry whistled, impressed, and her smile turned proud. Clearing her throat, Vanessa stood up a little straighter. Obviously trying to appear unaffected. He pretended not to notice. “I traded it for a poster I’d grabbed from the gift shop.”

Perry tilted his head. He hadn’t seen her buy a poster while they were at the gift shop. The only thing she’d purchased was a blank notebook that had some art replicas on random pages. Suddenly seeming awkward, Vanessa looked away.

“I might’ve, um, stole it earlier?” Vanessa said, shifting in a way that reminded Perry of Dr. D. Peter turned offended immediately. Meanwhile, Perry just lost it laughing. At least Dr. D might get a proud chuckle out of that if he ever, gods forbide, learned about this little ‘mission’.

“Do I seriously need to get on you for encouraging your daughter’s villainous behaviour?” Peter asked in a way that Perry felt was overly serious. Though if he was being honest with himself, he would’ve felt the same a few years ago. Amazing what befriending (and practically co-parenting with) your nemesis did. Maybe that was why OWCA’d originally disuaded it. It was one of the few things OWCA had told him that Perry ignored. Not for trying, of course. He smiled fondly at the memory, then at Vanessa as she turned brittle toward Peter.

“Hey, it was either steal something fake or steal the painting, either way he was going to steal something . You should be grateful I even thought to grab something!” Vanessa said. “We can pay for it before we leave, anyway, if you’re going to be such an Agent Grumpypants.”

Perry snorted. Loudly. He couldn’t help it and even if he could, he probably wouldn’t have tried. Peter looked angry and affronted at both of them. But he decided against saying anything about it, apparently. He looked between the two of them and perhaps Perry just saw things but something softened, and Peter placed his hat back on his head and straightened his collar.

“See that you do. I’m going to report back to Monogram,” Peter said and left out through the broken window. Perry could hear the slight displacement of air as Peter activated his hang glider. Vanessa and Perry looked at each other before both of them broke down laughing. Depending on what Peter told Major Monogram, he’d probably have to write his own report later. For now, he was glad to avoid it.

“ Ice cream? ” Perry signed.

“Are any places open right now?” Vanessa asked.

Perry shrugged.

“Guess we’ll find out,” Vanessa said.

There was a place that was open. It was a little place made of panelled wood with tables outside. They ordered two cones of separate flavours and set up at one of those tables, neither of them actually sitting on a bench. Perry leaned against the table while Vanessa sat on top of it. There weren't really any stars when they looked up at the sky, but they were both used to Danville’s clear nights and looked up anyway. Both quickly looked back down when they heard their names. Vanessa is sure her neck popped.

“Vanessa? Perry ?”

“Dad?” Why was he here? And at this time of the night. Not that her dad ever exactly went to bed any time before midnight.

“ You’re the reason he went on vacation?” Her dad asked. Vanessa held back a wince. Major Monogram must’ve told him. Snitch.

Not knowing what to say, Vanessa held up her cone. “Ice cream?”

“Oh, yes!” Her dad’s eyes lit up immediately and Vanessa gave him her cone. It wasn’t like she’d eaten very much of it yet, anyway. While he was busy with that she left to buy a new one.

“Can you believe Peter is doing other agent stuff right now? While you’re on vacation? What are the odds? You think maybe he’s taking something they were gonna give to you ?” Vanessa almost snorted at that. Whether they had or not, Perry and her had helped. “I hope he did well. I mean, I’m sure he did! Peter is a talented agent. Not as talented as you are, of course, Perry the Platypus. You’re like, super talented. But Peter is pretty good too!”

“How did you know Peter was doing something else?” Vanessa asked as she retook her spot on the table. Her dad had sat down next to where Perry was leaning, his legs folded up on the bench.

“Oh, well I’m visiting Professor Mystery, sweetheart,” her dad said. She barely refrained from rolling her eyes at ‘sweetheart’. In her opinion, she was a little old for that. But she could allow it for right now. “So tell me- Don’t think I caught you trying to distract me with icecream, though it was very clever!- what are you two doing here?”

Vanessa looked at Perry, who just shrugged. She did not frame from rolling her eyes. “I had a school trip and I just… wanted to go with Perry this time.”

Her dad nodded. “I see. Understandable, Perry is very cool. And responsible, are you having fun? How much longer is the trip, can I join? Do you want me to join?” Her dad looked hesitant on the last question and Vanessa found herself nodding.

“Sure, why not,” Vanessa said. It’d be like a full family outing. It could be fun. Plus with Perry there she’d have a bit of help holding her dad back from some of the big stuff. Like planning evil. She looked to Perry who also nodded.

“Right! It’s settled then,” her dad said and Vanessa thought he attempted to not look as pleased as he was, but her dad had never been good at hiding literally any of his emotions. It would be a lie if she said she wasn’t kinda happy too. Perry gave a thumbs up and her dad stole a bite of his icecream too, despite Perry’s halfhearted sound of annoyance, and Vanessa decided that it would be fun.

At the very least, no matter what happened, it would confuse the everything out of her teachers when her dad count mysteriously ups to two come morning.

#phineas and ferb #perry the platypus #vanessa doofenshmirtz #pinky the chihuahua #peter the panda #human perry the platypus #human perry #human au #perry the human #background perryshmirtz #fluff #domestic #mission fic #this was my pnf secret santa gift #they/them pinky the chihuahua #genderfluid pinky the chihuahua #writings

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