#probably a

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Pride month everyone B*) Allow me to reveal a little behind the scenes detail behind my Banner and Icon. Love was always winning <3

#I don't know what to tag this one to be honest #probably a #delete later #I have made a solemn promise that any icon and banner for this blog must be done in a pair. They Cannot Be Separated. #They have had too much of that already #But yes; they have always been together on the same canvas #they originally were just barley not holding hands so I fixed it <3 love wins #I'm hoping to change them out every new season I start so these guys are probably in their last month of life B'*) #can you believe wwx used to have different bangs? blasphemy #Once again throwing out meta content so I can make up for the fact I am running on fumes #starting out pride month by engaging in another sin (sloth (I slept for more than my usual 4-5 hours (this blog functions on insomnia))) #comic tomorrow cause the next batch is 90% done I literally just ran out of time. #I'm in a toxic relationship with The Grind but in a homoromantic/erotic way. #We (the grind and I) would have long metas written about how we are bad lgbtq rep and spark heated debate within the community.

[hws-lceland]

#hehehe #hws iceland #aph iceland #Hetalia #aph #hws #emil.art #probably a #terible time to post rhis but i just. remembered

[gammija]

i think what defences of barbie against feminist critique on here seem to miss, is that, while yes, a lot of girls grew up with barbie and had fun with her and didn't feel as if her unrealistic body type had any influence on them... that doesn't mean this product wasn't made to appeal to young girls and used a specific body type and aesthetic to do so. Like, it can be both 'barbie empowered lots of girls' and 'barbie, as a huge influential brand, both broke some sexist standards and expectations for women but perpetuated several others'

#as an aside. implicit discrimination also exists and might be more pernacious. #have you as a kid EVER seen a commercial in which a boy plays with barbies? #perhaps those have come about in recent years but i sure havent. and even if those exist now id bet that no such commercial exists with #ONLY a boy or several boys playing with barbie #Joos yaps #probably a #delete later #but you know. i DID feel a sick feeling as a little girl walking through the Girl Isle in a toy store and seeing just pinks and yellows #so neither experience is universal #just because a lot of girls broke the basic template their barbies came with doesn't mean BarbieTM didn't put that template there #and it's fine to discuss the more nuanced and less fun and girlpower parts of culture. in fact id say its somewhat important

[dont-blame-it-on-the-kids]

I’ve been thinking about Lin’s father…

SO I’ve been thinking

About how Toph seems to naturally favor Suyin

It’s cannon she makes up with Suyin and is visiting her and the kids but not Lin.

Tophs in the Suyin comic.

Lin’s Clearly Excluded from the family by Someone and it could be Toph herself.

So I was thinking of whyyy and realized.

Lin was an unwanted child.

Lin is clearly being treated as a kid Toph got stuck with having for some reason.

And I 1000% believe Toph lied to Bolin because WHY would she come out and say it when it CLEAR she’s never told Lin.

So either a foolish night that ended with Toph being a parent and probably Katara and Aang convincing her to keep the kid.

Or

Something more sinister.

Something Toph wants to forget and as such pushes Lin away.

Maybe a powerful bender who was tormenting the city for years?

MAYBE EVEN BETTER Toph knew him before he revealed himself to be an evil bloodbender and that’s how he kept her off his back while he gained power in the under city.

Facts to support the idea:

- She has his cheekbones. Look at them fucking sharp™️

- Yakone was powerful enough to bloodbend with his mind and there are Several times we see Lin Metal and Earthbend without taking a stance or hardly moving her hands

- it would be amazing if the boys knew because Yakone would brag about what he did so they faced her knowing they shared a father, knowing she didn’t suffer at his hands the way they did. And they want to make her suffer now.

- Lin was 8 when he was on trial and he had been a mob boss for a while before then.

- imagine Lin having very few if any memories of her dad living with them before things went to shit.

- imagine Lin realizing who her father is and digging her heels in and trying to prove she’s nothing like him.

Maybe Kanto was Suyins father? Maybe he’s just a name Toph made up to get Bolin to shut the fuck up because she could feel Lin about to explode with anger.

OR BETTER YET because Lin Knows and Bolin outright asking like that is going to set her off so Toph lies so Bolin won’t keep asking questions.

#not gonna tag this hc #probably a #delete later

[rareswifts]

#taylor swift #abigail anderson #taybigail #friends #probably a #repost #but idk for sure

[hoochieblues]

Books of 2024

tagged by @faux-fires (tysm <3) who has a much prettier bookshelf than me. (Also, there is no crime in acquiring things because shiny covers. Call it tsundoku and make it an ~aesthetic~.)

“the game is to share 9 of my favourite books from the last 12 months, or 9 books on my tbr list for this year”

uh oh.

Honestly, the past year I've read very little, mostly because I was up to my eyeballs in work and, when I wasn't, I made... many questionable choices. I read some truly incredible fanfic and some wonderful WIPs. Also a lot of slush pile material, and tbh a lot that was (mostly subjectively, sometimes objectively) pretty dreadful. Some notable exceptions* aside, I just seemed to keep picking up books that were either 'meh' at most, or (for me) 70-30 nay/yay reads (*cough*Jenny Hval*cough*).

I'm hoping this year will be better. So, here are six from my TBR pile/wishlist for 2024, and three old faves I've recently reread and/or will reread this year:

Dirtbag: Essays - Amber A'Lee Frost Politicial memoir and sometime optimistic socialist theory from Chapo Trap House alumna Amber, who's been back on the show recently since Matt Christman (my beloved)'s medical leave.

The Black Jacobins: Toussaint L'Ouverture and the San Domingo Revolution - C.L.R. James Partly research, partly an important and interesting piece of history. I got into reading about the Sons of Africa and Dolben's Act while writing my current WIP and, as that series kinda bleeds over into the French Revolution, this is very relevant.

The Crimson Thread of Abandon: Stories - Terayama Shuji (tr. Elizabeth L. Armstrong) Terayama's short films and photography are amazing, so... high hopes here? Possibly even more so as I apparently have very little fiction on my tbr list. Burnout, you say? Nooo.

The Iliad tr. Emily Wilson Everything I've seen about this translation looks great, so I'm interested to read it. Apparently it cuts right to the source material in a very honest way, but idk. It's all Greek to me. (sorry.)

The Mountain in the Sea - Ray Nayler I've heard so many good things about this I'm a little nervous to start it, but it's on the 'when I have time' list. Also, because no company can resist building The Torture Nexus (though tbf plans were in the works before this book came out, and it's not quite the same thing), did you know you can still join Compassion in World Farming, Ocean Born Foundation, and over 70 other NGOs in campaigning to stop the planned Nueva Pescanova octopus farming project?

Gluck: Her Biography - Diana Souhami** I bought this last spring and I will get around to reading it properly, I swear. Gluck was an interesting artist and a... difficult person, by most accounts. Admirable in many ways, perhaps. But. But! Also the reason commercial oil paints have consistent pigment levels and standards. The more you know.

Gratuitous Gluck painting! Medallion (YouWe) (1936) is a basic bitch choice because it's so iconic, but look me in the face and say it's not Peak Melodrama(tm). This Deco beast is the de facto marriage portrait commemorating Gluck and Nesta Obermer's relationship, beginning in earnest the night they saw Fritz Busch's Don Giovanni and 'felt the intensity of the music fused them into one.'

“Now it is out,” Gluck wrote to Nesta, “and to the rest of the Universe I call Beware! Beware! We are not to be trifled with.”

As I said, peak melodrama.

So, on to three Comfort Read faves and an excuse for a shelfie or two:

Something Wicked This Way Comes - Ray Bradbury "God, how we get our fingers in each other’s clay. That’s friendship, each playing the potter to see what shape we can make of the other." It is the autumn read. And I still kind of want to be femme!Mr. Dark.

Spleen - Olive Moore "She did not want the stories that calm frightened children. She wanted to know why the child is frightened." You probably can't call it a 'comfort' read exactly, but it's stark, complicated, and uncompromising. One for the Virginia Woolf girlies (gn), you might say.

The Complete Illuminated Books - William Blake "As when a man dreams, he reflects not that his body sleeps." Uh. Me like pretty pitchers? I was gifted this book years ago, having always been a Blake admirer. Last year, I was listening to a collab between Esoterica and TheArtTourist (formerly Several Circles) on Blake's personal mythology (something something gnostic mysticism) and I've been coming back to pick at it over and over ever since. Generally with a hot chocolate and a squishy blankie, which I think is necessary here.

*Notable exceptions include:

Goodbye Tsgumi - Banana Yoshimoto. You should read this in an afternoon, then think wistfully about it six months later. Yoshimoto's style is easy and delicate, but primed with sharp authenticity.

the Wine and Song series from tumblr's own @eleanorkos, who is a wonderful writer, stylistically and narratively, and a joy to read.

Walking Through Clear Water in a Pool Painted Black - Cookie Mueller. John Waters fans know her best for Pink Flamingos etc., but her writing is... scorching. Sometimes perhaps too much so, but it's certainly zeitgeisty.

Alec - William di Canzio. The E.M. Forster sequel no one expected. I did like it, truly. It's just that I thought it would be a bit... more. And now I have to go scour AO3 because there's probably a 200k Maurice fanfic somewhere that handles class, identity, and intertextuality better and with more commitment. If not.. no. I'm not even entertaining the thought.

**There is admittedly Disk Horse around Gluck - who, while born into privilege, famously did not want to be addressed with any prenoms, prefixes, or signifiers of class/gender - and Pronouns. I think Souhami's gotten a fair amount of heat for 'Her Biography', though Gluck did use feminine pronouns in life. (Wearily taps the 'we cannot accurately assign contemporary labels to people who lived before they were coined in their current context; it's technically conjecture, however obvious it seems' sign.) Personally, I feel like if we're going to keep referring to Radclyffe Hall as a she/her lesbian and not acknowledge the possibility of any transmasc, fluid, or he/him identities for someone who was known primarily as 'John' and whose seminal novel featured an afab protagonist called Stephen who identifies with the contemporary view of homosexuality as 'inversion' then... I'm going to sit quietly with my knitting and stay out of it.

Okay, that's it. I overran, I know, but hey. tagging @s1ithers, @lesetoilesfous, @aria-i-adagio, @dreadfutures, @emungere, @barbex and @katehedge with intrigue and curiosity, but never any pressure :)

#tag game #books #probably a #long post #book recs

[silverpoints-terminal]

A New Chance

(Kip breathes through the mask, seeing the residential buildings in the distance. A large robot is sitting, while someone else stands beside them. Kip recognizes the standing robot immediately.)

Silver!

[You're here.]

[Hello, Ms. Silverpoint.]

[I was notified by the Guardian of your arrival. They insisted that I should wait for you here.]

Oh... we could go back to your place too, if you... prefer. I wanted to talk to you.

I want to... goodness it's a lot. Do you have a moment?

[I've been working on mending the Guardian for hours. It's kept me busy.]

[Their arm needs to be reattached, their joints are hard to move... I am doing what I can with my knowledge, but I am not familiar with this model.]

[I don't think this is what you came to listen to, anyway. This is just me responding to the repair requests around the area.]

[What brings you here? What's the point?]

(Kip breathes in, taking off her gas mask, and placing her goggles back on, as is her habit.)

Sorry, I had to do that first.

Well you... I wanted to check on you.

You never answered my letters. And I gave up sending them eventually but I thought... well. I thought there had to be a good reason.

And now with the sun back too—

[I believe sending updates to the Refuge on the state of the Barrens is all that was needed.]

[You DID send me here. I may as well do the job, shouldn't I?]

[I don't think I need to explain that the Sun is back, you can see that. The robots are active, but I don't have much else to give them other than clean up the outpost and assess the earthquake damage.]

No... Yeah I know you send those updates. They're helpful.

But this is different. It's... it's not just about that. Well, it is a bit about that because the other scientist's think this whole thing is pointless and—

[This whole thing? I assume you mean this area's operations?]

[My assessment of it is that there are zones that are inaccessible because of the recent earthquakes, and most communication terminals seem to be broken.]

[I don't know whether you are in need of materials from the Barrens, but otherwise I don't see why bother with it.]

Ah... well, that answers that.

How... bad were the earthquakes? We had to evacuate the lab complex.

[The mines are fully inaccessible. Even more so than it was the last time I reported on it.]

[...]

[I am inclined to believe they weren't earthquakes. At least not as we commonly know them.]

[I do not have a lot of data to analyze, however. This is just my experience.]

That... sounds like an interesting theory to consider. It's not the point, sorry.

Why? Where were you when it happened?

[That's not important.]

[The seismic movements stopped, and there are no reliable ways to predict them with anything I could give you.]

[You... mentioned the letters you sent.]

[Anything to add on that topic?]

#as kip #as silver #a new chance #os game rp #story progress #the barrens #kip touches grass arc #oh this will be a #long post #probably a #really long post #///ooc note: you can still send asks all you want #this main thread will show the story as it goes.

[lesbiannancytruther]

flayed robin au...post apocalypse..😏😏

this is a bit broad so im sorry if it isnt exactly what ur looking for!!

also this is my first thing i've ever done in this style so go easy on me </3

Nancy Wheeler was not new to the Upside Down. Not new to the dim light, the rotting smell, the persistent slime that clung to her skin and soaked the roots of her hair. She didn't think she could forget any of it if she tried.

When she, Robin, and Steve had pulled their way out of dark mirrored realm and were met with sunlight, she humored the fact that maybe, hopelessly, this was it. Never again. Nancy Wheeler would never again breath the stinking air that weighed down her lungs and weakened her iron will.

It was just too good to be true.

Standing on that hill, where she was surrounded by people who felt so... distant. They weren't there when she experienced the new memories that made her head ache in a way she didn't know was possible. That's where she felt any fleeting hope crumble to nothing.

Breathing that air, that toxic cloud, she shouldn't have been surprised that everything went to shit directly after.

What was left of Hawkins fell apart. In the hurry to escape the violent weather that racked the small towns with destructive winds and lightning that flashed blood red, random civilians found themselves in the woods, just outside of town, where they were left vulnerable when the monsters followed shortly after.

In the months that followed, Nancy learned to slaughter every kind of creature that lurked in the murk of the Upside Down, reliving old trauma after old trauma in her desperate fight to survive.

She figured she'd have lost the better parts of her if Robin hadn't trucked through the apocalypse, not without heavy complaining and slightly concerning commentary, albeit, but she figured Robin's unwavering humor was part of what kept her sane.

Robin was so strong, not that Nancy ever doubted this fact, but it was to the point where every day she felt new awe for Robin's lasting humor and compassion. There were points where Nancy tried to get Robin to open up, to talk about what must be bothering her in all of this mess, tried to forget about herself and her problems to help someone who helped her by just being herself, but she knew it wasn't often enough.

That's why she blames herself, why she's chosen to lead the charge to fixing this.

Maybe she should give herself more credit, after all, every day she fights for her life, every once in awhile she receives wounds that leave permanent scars. Her hair is permanently singed at the tips from the constant fires she lights and spreads. Who could blame her for not being there? For not noticing the signs? Robin drifting away, flickering in and out in weird ways? Nancy figured that one day she'd just wandered off and gotten scaped up, that it was the trauma just catching up to her.

Not that she was flayed. Not that she might be broken beyond repair.

Nancy wasn't sure why she thought Vecna would be one for originality, of course he would try to recreate the Mind Flayer, of course he'd target someone on the inside, someone vulnerable.

Of course she was destined to lose someone else. Of course she wasn't able to protect them.

Nancy is forced to recall some of the memories she did her best to bury. Will's screams as they burned the monster out, the feeling of thrusting the white hot poker into his side to stop him from strangling his own mother. Terrible memories. Necessary memories.

It's her idea to act as bait. Robin seems to have taken on the role that Billy did, all that time ago, and she likes to target Nancy specifically to relay messages. To make her ache. She can't tell if it's because Robin is still in there, trying to tell her something, or if this is Vecna's unique and cruel revenge for lighting him up in his home territory.

Nancy thinks the worst part of this is that Robin still acts sort of like herself. She's meaner, she berates Nancy for things she once comforted her about, but she has the same endearing snark. The same mannerisms. It tells Nancy that Robin is still in there, she just needs help rising to the surface. The failed sauna experiment of last summer would not fail with Nancy in charge. Not with Robin on the line.

Nancy would almost call Robin's behavior flirty, she calls her "priss" and "princess" with a sneer on her face, she touches her, way more than she used to. Robin'll twist her curls with ring clad fingers, grab her shoulders and breathe threats into her ear, one time she even kissed her hand.

The final straw is when the monster that has a grip on the girl she's grown to care an immeasurable amount about crosses a line she didn't even know was there.

"You're so self-absorbed that you didn't even know how I felt about you. Typical for a serial heartbreaker, huh Wheeler?"

This strikes... a chord. No matter how distracted Nancy was in the apocalypse, struggling to survive, there were always the quiet moments where she was left with herself. Her own thoughts. Her worst enemy.

She broke up with Jonathan because she felt they'd grown irreparably apart. She was different, changed, she didn't even know what she wanted anymore. He was the same, he could not follow her anymore. She shut the budding hurt feelings from Steve down as quickly as she could, made it known how she felt. Made it known that they could never work again.

At first she thought that the affection she felt for Robin was a fate-granted punishment, that she was doomed to love another person in a complicated way, another person for her to lose.

And yet, she realized that her love for Robin was the opposite of complicated, that she loved Robin so purely and unapologetically, that it was how she treated that love that made it complicated.

Eventually she had to confront what made it complicated. She wasn't stupid, she knew what it meant, it was just... really hard for her to learn how to accept it.

It's that same love that pushes her towards this plan. She was evicting that fucking monster.

It's face to face with Robin Buckley in a ring of fire, who hisses and spits insults at her in a venomous and inherently un-Robin tone, that Nancy allows herself to feel hope. She will be triumphant, with blazing torch in hand, she will not let herself fail. Not now, with those she's survived with the past months around the fire, keeping the ground ablaze, making the circle smaller and smaller.

They're only a foot apart when Nancy lunges, binding a writhing Robin with her arms, whispering.

"Please Birdie, please come back. We have so much to talk about."

She doesn't think she'll ever forget how Robin looked in those moments, how Robin's curled fingers shredded the sweat-soaked skin of her exposed arms, cutting her deep. How Robin felt in her arms, the blackened veins, her expression contorted in agony as black smoke poured from her and into the air, flinching constantly from the flames. Horrifically familiar.

She's never held onto someone so tight, she doesn't think.

It's later, much later, where they lay side by side on a cot, looking at each other, that they exchange apologies.

It took Robin awhile to recover, with her pulse dropping so low and her body so limp after the presence of the Mind Flayer left her that Nancy was sure she'd lost her, forever. Nancy takes on caring for Robin, and just... talks to her, while she sleeps. Tells her all the things she missed, how much she missed her.

It's so much harder for Nancy to talk to Robin now that she's conscious, now that she's looking at her. Harder than it used to be. Maybe it's because she's accepted her feelings, after all this time.

"I'm so sorry for not seeing the signs. For not noticing until... it was too late."

"Come on, Nance, that wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault."

"You don't get it. I was so... caught up... If I was just there when it got you-"

"Nance. I know what you're doing. Don't. Matter of fact, I'm sorry."

"For what!? You were possessed!"

"Yeah, but the things I said-"

"Nope. Not letting you do this."

"Nance, I-"

She wasn't expecting to silence Robin's desperate attempts at apologizing with a kiss.

Robin isn't expecting it either.

Nancy pulls away, already about to apologize, talk about how stupid she was for thinking what Flayed Robin said was true, when Robin pulls her back, and she's submerged in something other than despair for the first time in too long.

lmk what u think <3 im always open to prompts lol

#stranger things #ronance #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #apocalypse au ?? #flayed!robin #ficlet #?? #idk what a ficlet is lol #probably a #oneshot #though

[onenicebugperday]

@probablyapineapple​ submitted: found a Guy on my hand

Omg SMALL. I love her deeply. @ al the people who say they hate wasps have you SEEN THIS???

#bugs #insects #submission #wasp #probably a #parasitoid

[captainadwen]

Same size as a raindrop....

#frogs #toads #maybe #probably a #noble pigmy frog

[uniiiquehecrt]

...Damn I forgot Sif still exists again didn't I

#probably a #tbd #but like honestly that /sucks/ bc sif was always one of my favorites when thor first came up #little me saw her in the theatre and went “WOAH COOL WARRIOR LADY SHE'S SO PRETTY” #and i've always had a bit of a soft spot for her since #shame that taika wrote her out of existence :'D i keep forgetting sif is technically still around

[stumblngrumbl]

i need a better birding lens

still not bad for ½km away

#probably a #red tailed hawk #wild birds #Canon 6D w/ 350mm #2nd pic is just a crop so it sucks

[lowkeyclowning]

Jumping spider ft a bee <3 silly little guys I need to draw more bugs

#spiders #bees #my art #jumping spider #probably a #carpenter bee #or a #honey bee #but I have no idea my thought process #<3

[absolutelybatty]

Microdosing on coming out to your family by talking too much about The Matrix

#the matrix #probably a #delete later #post

[jumpscaregoose]

good to see another fellow SK fan (and hororen fan <3) on tumblr! :D i hope you dont mind me asking but who are your favorite characters and ships?

there may be like six of us SK fans on this planet but we are most certainly dedicated. thank you for giving me an opportunity to geek out your efforts have not been in vain.

(answers to your questions under read more because I'll probably go on for 3 years and several tangents down there)

my all time favourite character is definitely Yoh but he's too favourite for it to really count. (it's unfair to every other character with how much I love him basically)

after Yoh my favourite is probably Horohoro. I basically forgot he existed until they started teasing his backstory and then I realized how great he is and now I draw him too much (I have a tier list of all the 2021 anime episodes and you can definitely tell by what I put in the top tier)

other than those two I like Hao for being the antagonist of all time (still lowkey mad at the anime for cutting the random baguette he brought to a match), Ren because haha edgy emo guy, and Jeanne because I want to study her in a petri dish

my favourite ships are hororen (because it's me), yohna (because I think it's well written and makes me mad at how renmei was written in the sequels because oh my god renmei shippers y'all are in the trenches with the nonwriting of that I am so sorry. o7). I also like tamajeanne because I think they're neat

I just really like shaman king ok. and to my non-SK mutuals I am only mildly sorry, you should watch it. my SK mutuals I appreciate you because it means I get to stop forcing my friends to watch some rando show they don't care about just so I can explain why lyserg diethel should have been named after an opioid

#probably a #long post #I will take every chance I get to be a nerd about shaman king please keep throwing me opportunities #this show owns my entire soul and I will inflict it on anybody willing #every SK mutual is one less irl friend that has to put up with me #take that as you will #shaman king

[groaningmoaningtummies]

I should write a huge stuffing party between characters A-Z 

#maybe one or two get upset stomachs easily #Probably A #F too