#qpr dukeceit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

i-am-bitterly-jittery · 2 months

Text

Follow Your Aro

The aromantic follow up to Perfectly Normal

Word count: 871

Rating: gen

Pairings: platonic Dukeceit, platonic or pre-qpr Intrumoxiety, background Roloceit and Moxiety

Warnings: self discovery

In honor of Aro Week (next week, Feb 18-24) I’ve written a companion to my projecting ace on Remus 💚💚🤍🩶🖤 ♠️

~~~START~~~

“JANUS!” Remus yelled as he threw open the door to his and Janus’s shared dorm room.

“Hello Remus,” Janus said without looking up from the assignment on his desk. “I’m sure the other people in our building are really appreciating your volume, thank you.”

“Any time, Snakey!” Remus grinned, throwing himself onto his roommate’s bed despite being three feet away. “Hey, I have a question.”

“I would love to help you at this exact moment, Rem, I definitely don’t have to finish this assignment before my date with Roman and Logan tonight.”

“Perfect! What are romantic feelings?”

Janus set his pencil down and turned to face Remus with an arched eyebrow. “They’re the feelings you have for a romantic partner? Are you okay?”

“Noooo,” Remus whined, sitting up and pouting. “I know what they are! I mean, like, how do you know you’re feeling them?”

“Oh…” Janus blushed. “It’s like, when you’re alone, and all you can think about is them. Or when you’re having a bad day, but when you see them, you think ‘oh, there they are’. They’re just… it’s so nice to be around them.”

“But that just sounds like friendship!” Remus huffed, flopping back onto Janus’s bed and glaring at the ceiling. “How do you know it’s different than friendship?”

“I don’t want to kiss my friends,” Janus deadpanned. “No offense.”

“Ew, none taken,” Remus stuck his tongue out at the thought of kissing Janus. “But I don’t want to kiss anyone.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Rem.”

“Eh, I’ll probably figure it out when it becomes important,” Remus shrugged.

“Sure,” Janus agreed distractedly, focusing once more on his assignment.

~•~•~

It hits Remus like a wrecking ball two years later.

He placed his game controller down on his desk, shut his console off, and walked away. He didn’t save the game, but it was okay, he wasn’t ever going to play it again.

Downstairs, he found Patton sitting on the couch in front of a DVD menu screen, so he threw himself onto the couch and buried his face in Patton’s lap.

“Everything okay, kiddo?” Patton asked, only mildly shocked from the intrusion after having been friends with Remus for nine years.

Remus just let out a long, loud groan.

“That’s okay,” Patton said, rubbing his hand along Remus’s back comfortingly.

“You’re in my spot,” Virgil complained, coming back from the kitchen with what smelled like a bowl of popcorn. Remus didn’t move.

“That’s okay, honey,” Patton said. “There’s plenty of room over here.”

The couch dipped as Virgil sat down on Patton's other side. Virgil poked at Remus’s head with his fingers, but Remus didn’t react other than to groan again.

After a moment, the movie began playing, and no one spoke further. Patton’s hand continued rubbing along Remus’s back, and eventually, Virgil’s hand found its way into Remus’s hair.

Remus fell asleep like that.

He woke up some time later. Virgil’s hand was no longer in his hair, but Patton’s hand was still on his back — though it had now stilled — and the movie was still playing.

Remus sat up groggily.

“How ya feeling, kiddo?” Patton asked quietly. Virgil was sleeping with his head on Patton’s shoulder.

“Fine,” Remus croaked. “Better.”

“That’s good,” Patton smiled. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I was playing a video game, and it was making me feel icky, and I realized I’m aromantic.”

“You just realized you’re aromantic?” Virgil asked incredulously without opening his eyes.

“Shh,” Patton shushed, petting Virgil’s head. “I’m sorry your game made you feel icky, Re, what happened?”

“It made me pick a character to date, and then it made me have an awkward conversation with a different character who liked me.”

“Gross.” Virgil agreed, hating any awkward NPC interaction video games forced on him.

“Do you want to pick the next movie?” Patton offered, gesturing at the end credits scrolling across the screen.

Remus perked up and jumped to his feet to pick out a movie from the house DVD before realizing something. “I’m crashing your Valentine's plans, aren’t I?”

“No,” Virgil answered immediately.

“We like having you here, kiddo,” Patton smiled, patting the space Remus had just vacated on the couch.

“Really?” Remus asked skeptically. Patton was way too nice to ever kick anyone out, even if he was trying to have a nice date with his boyfriend.

“Really! We would have watched movies in our room if we weren’t okay with you joining us!”

That was a fair point, no matter how many lectures on the effects of watching TV at bedtime Logan gave, Patton and Virgil continued to have a TV in their room so they could watch movies alone when Virge was feeling too peopled-out.

“Pick a movie and sit down.” Somehow, Virgil’s grumpiness was even more convincing than Patton’s cheeriness.

Remus popped Coraline into the DVD player and happily joined Virgil and Patton back on the couch.

“But seriously,” Virgil said after several minutes where Remus had thought he’d gone back to sleep. “How did you just figure out you’re aromantic? Should I have told you?”

“I’m not that obvious!” Remus sniffed indignantly.

“Sure.” The eye roll was practically audible. “Whatever you say, Re.”

~~~END~~~

I spent several years trying to figure out if I was aromantic or not, but I couldn’t figure out what romantic feelings were (which honestly should have been a hint) so it took a video game forcing me to date an NPC to go “I still don’t really get what romantic feelings are, but they’re def gross”

Anyway I now avoid any video game that involves potential romance

General taglist:

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple @arsonic-knight @misunderstood-shadowling

#ts sanders sides #sanders sides #remus sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #aromantic remus sanders #asexual remus sanders #aroace remus sanders #thursday writes #my writing #sanders sides fanfiction

15 notes · View notes

astrologiaaa · 2 months

Text

i feel like the sanders sides fandom should explore ships/dynamics as queerplatonic relationships more. like yeah, romantic ships r cool and all but what about qpr dukeceit. anxceit. logince. royality. lamp. DRLAMP. the possibilities are endless please

#astrologiaaa #my incessant yapping #sanders sides #i <3 queerplatonic relationships in media i consume #plsplsplsplsplsplsplspls

14 notes · View notes

tulipanthousa · 11 days

Note

your reblog about sex just being another thing you might do with informed consent to make your partner happy is making me think interesting thoughts about your verse with ace Janus and dukeceit (the one with pining QPR LAMP in the background). bc it sounds like that's EXACTLY what Janus was doing!

"I don't hate this and it makes you happy and I know exactly what goes into it so I have no objections." and the only reason it was an issue was that neither of them really knew the context around it re: Janus being ace, so they were both worried about rejection

do you have any thoughts on what Janus and Remus might do about sex going forward? would they stop having it altogether or would it become a "making seafood paella for your birthday even though I don't enjoy shellfish" type treat?

i think for a while (maybe a few months) they dont have sex, just to give janus a chance to firm up his sense of boundaries and what he's okay with, but after that i definitely think its that kind of situation.

i actually think they might have more sex when it gets settled, just because its SO much less stressful for Janus when he doesnt have to put on an act about it. sex is fine, it feels good, but not having to Convince His Partner How Into It He Is makes it so much easier to for him just relax and treat it like what it is to him, which is basically an optional warm up before cuddling lol

#ask #Anonymous #nsfs dukeceit

17 notes · View notes

a-small-batch-of-dragons · 1 year

Text

Cold Comforts: Cracking Ice

I imagine that you get a lot of asks so apologies if this one adds to an endless list of them. I have this sanders sides concept in mind where Patton was not the one who caused the original creativity to split nor was Patton morality during this time and it was Logan; but because Janus had left before it occured and Virgil, Remus, and Roman didnt really exist yet, no one knows about this. But because Janus can pick up on lies (including lies of omission), he quickly pieces together the truth. No idea how you'd work that into a story of any kind (if that was something you would want to do), just thought it would be neat to at least share. ax3-e0n

hey !! i don't have a super specific request, but i'd love some qpr content from you if you don't mind !! any ship is fine, but i love qpr dukeceit, analogical, and moxiety ^^ - anon

I really loved Cold Comforts (that fight did break me but in the best way possible) and I would love to know what happens in the aftermath. Like how do they actually reconcile and make up for what was said? - anon

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: self-esteem issues, implied/referenced rsd

Pairings: none

Word Count: 3293

At first, there is elation.

Roman blinks awake in the ruined corpse of a dying tower, covered in cobwebs and layers of dust. He blinks, bits of it falling into his eyes. A phantom warmth rests on his cheeks and in his befuddled state, he thinks it might be the sun.

"Shh, little one," he hears from eons away, "it's alright. I'm here now."

He blinks again and the phantom warmth grows stronger, coalescing itself into hands on his face, thumbs gently stroking his tears away. He's still crying, lips still trying to form comforts from nothing. He blinks again and the blob in front of him focuses.

"L-Logan?"

"Hello, little one," Logan whispers, "it's okay. I'm here now."

Here.

Hands. Warm hands. Warm hands on his face, cupping it like it's something precious, like he's something precious. Warm hands that brush away his tears and a warmer voice that says it's okay. I'm here now.

"You're here?" His voice, cracked and dusty from overuse. "Y-you're really here?"

"Yes," says Logan, smiling and reaching up to run his fingers through Roman's hair, "I'm here. I'm really here. And so are you."

"Don't do that, Princey," comes another voice, one that appears over the edge of the shell too, "you scared the shit out of us."

"Language, mister," comes yet another, "but he's right, kiddo. You really scared us, there."

"Being scary is my schtick, Ro-Bro," says yet another, "don't do it without me."

And, just when Roman's heart feels fit to burst, the last voice sighs and reaches into the shell too. "Not that this isn't very touching, but I think we'd all be better off outside this very scary tower with no stairs."

He blinks dumbly as yellow-gloved hands reach for him, fitting carefully around his shoulders and gently pulling him to sit upright. Logan's hands shift down to his elbows, helping to get him out of the dust-caked blankets. His head pounds. He feels dizzy.

"Slow, you jerks," Virgil's voice mutters, "he's just been like that for who knows how long and he's been crying."

"Here," Logan says softly, only for Roman's ears, "lean on me. I've got you."

And oh, isn't that surreal, to have Logan's arms wrap around him and be leaned against a broad chest, to have another set of hands at his back and to be helped down from his dusty perch. His limbs feel discombobulated, disconnected, and he flails a few times before he figures out how to hold on too. Logan is patient with him, though, and helps him over to a chair that Remus conjures and sits him to face the sun.

"Here," says Patton, handing him a glass of water, "try and drink that, okay, sweetheart?"

Oh, he realizes belatedly, I'm being taken care of.

At first, there is elation.

They came. They actually came. They wanted to find him and so they searched for him, they found their way up a tower that he did not design to be found. They sought after him because they noticed he was gone and so they chose to come and find him. They are here because he was not there.

At first, there is elation.

Then, there is only dread.

They're going to want to know what happened. He's going to have to explain what happened. They're going to want to know what happened and why he ran so far away and why he started to fade and all of this is going to go away. He's going to have to tell them about the argument and all of the horrible things he said and he's going to watch all of this care fade away into disappointment.

Because they will be. Disappointed.

Roman, you never learn.

Roman, we've been over this.

Roman, you know better.

Roman, how could you be so cruel? Roman, you should think about the things you say before you say them. Roman, I expected better from you. Roman, you're supposed to be better than this. Roman, Roman, Roman, will you ever stop being a disappointment?

This, right now, this is the last he will be able to have this comfort with no strings attached. It will be the last time he's able to ask for something and have it be given, the last time he can feel as though they're doing it because they want to.

And even now, he can hear their voices.

That's such a mean way to think about it, Roman. I wish you wouldn't think we don't know what we're doing when we comfort you. What, did you think it was just something we did?

And, how selfish of you, Roman, that you wouldn't tell us what happened because you thought we wouldn't want to comfort you after we knew what you'd done. Maybe you should have told us right away, then we wouldn't have this problem in the first place. Logan was right.

And, this is emotionally abusive, Roman, you know that, right? Being so dramatic and playing the victim and guilt-tripping like this even though you did something wrong too. Manipulating us like this is wrong. You know it's wrong. We'd be more inclined to forgive you if you weren't being so awful about admitting that you're hurt by something.

They're here and they came and Roman wants nothing more than to run away again.

"Whatever you're thinking," Remus's voice cuts in, "stop it. Stop being mean to my brother."

Roman startles and a moment later, he has a lapful of Remus. Remus buries his nose in the crook of his neck and squeezes tightly, their hearts pressed against each other's ribcages. It's uncomfortable, it's awkward, and Roman loves it.

"I was so scared," comes the whispered confession, "when you started Fading. I thought I was gonna lose you again."

"I'm sorry, Re, I didn't mean to, I swear—"

"I know, Roro, I know."

"I just—I had to go—"

"Easy," Virgil's low voice rumbles, a hand settling on his shoulder, "breathe, bud. It's okay. You're okay. Remus isn't mad at you."

"Y-you're not?"

"No, Roro, I'm not mad at you."

The part of Roman's brain that isn't screaming softwarmsafebrothercomfort shies away at the way Remus says you.

Right.

In the way a soldier dons his armor before a fatal fight, Roman takes a deep breath and carefully pats Remus's thigh. Remus lets him go, confusion written on his features as Roman stands up and begins to lower the tower's room to the ground. It settles on the earth with a low rumble and one of the walls finally caves, leading out into a familiar field of rolling grass. He walks out into the sunshine, the warmth settling over him like boulders. He allows himself one more moment to clutch his hand to his side before he turns and faces his executioners.

"I'm sorry," he begins, "for being so dramatic. I didn't mean to Fade and while I know that doesn't change anything, and I'm not trying to use it as an excuse, I hope that the knowledge that it wasn't done purposefully makes it a little better. It might be wrong of me to hope that, but…I do. I didn't mean to affect the videos or Thomas or anything of that nature, and you have my deepest and sincerest apologies that I let my—my tantrum get this bad."

He looks at Logan. His hands twinge in pain.

"Logan, I apologize for wasting your time. I apologize for being unreasonable and bull-headed and ignorant. I didn't mean it when I said you weren't useful and I didn't mean to imply that you don't know what you're doing. I know I can come off as arrogant and overconfident and I'm sorry. I've been trying to work on it but clearly, I haven't been trying hard enough. I'll do better. I promise."

With a heavy heart, he glances over at Remus.

"And I know…I know you weren't there, but I'm sorry to you too. I—at one point during the argument, I called you a menace and nothing but a problem to be vanquished. I'm sorry."

Remus stares at him. "Ro, you don't have to apologize to me for shit. I know I'm a menace, that's my whole fucking point. And you definitely don't have to apologize for being hurt. You just said you didn't do any of this shit on purpose and I know you. I know you'd—well, you'd rather kill yourself than destroy Thomas's videos and the Imagination. Don't apologize for being hurt, okay?"

"But I—"

"But nothing," Janus says smoothly, "you were hurt, sweetie. And we didn't make you feel like you could come to us. That's not your fault."

"None of us were there for the argument," Patton adds, "so we can't judge that part of it, but you don't have to apologize to us for the rest. You're—you're okay, sweetheart."

"You're dramatic," Virgil says, hands in his pockets, "but at least you're honest about it."

Janus scoffs something that sounds suspiciously like honesty's overrated but Roman's focused on Logan.

Logan, who's watching him carefully, so carefully, slowly reaches up and adjusts his glasses. "Roman, I…"

He trails off before he can finish his sentence. A lump appears in Roman's throat and he swallows, bowing his head and waiting for the blows to strike. He'll take them, he will, whatever comes with what Logan will say. He'll do it right this time, just accept them and nod and try to move on with it. He'll lick his wounds on his own in his room like a reasonable person and everything will be fine.

"Wow," he hears Remus scoff, "you really made him fucking perfect, didn't you? Bowing his head waiting for absolution and everything."

"What? What the heck are you on about, Remus?"

"This. This, his whole 'Good Creativity' thing."

"Yeah, I got that much, why're you saying we did it?"

"The Split. The whole get-the-bad-out, leave-the-good deal. The reason Thomas has two Creativities. I'm all the stuff you didn't want and so there he is with all the stuff you do."

There's a pause. Part of Roman wants to raise his head and see what's going on but he forces himself to wait.

"Remus," Janus rebukes with a gentleness reserved for only his partners, "the Split wasn't done so neatly. It wasn't like parts were selected for each of you."

"Yeah," Patton says, "and also, I didn't happen until after the Split. I think Thomas's whole Morality thing started in the aftermath of it. I wasn't around when it happened."

"I remember it," Virgil says, "but that's only 'cause J brought you and me in when we were all really little and he'd, like, just left. It was me, you, and J trying to figure stuff out and then Logan had Patton and Roman."

"Oh. Shit. Sorry, I, uh…"

"No, it's okay. We don't really know a lot about the Split anyways."

"You're all good, bud. Hey, whoa, c'mere."

There's the telltale rustling of someone being pulled into a hug and Roman knows Janus and Virgil have wrapped their arms around Remus. His heart screams for a moment in envious rage before he stamps it out with equal fervor. He's thankful Remus has two attentive and supportive partners, and he'd sooner fall on his sword than take it away from him.

He knows what that's like.

"Roman," Logan's voice comes from in front of him, much closer in front of him, "Roman, I'm sorry."

He raises his head, heart in his throat, as Logan reaches out and cups his face again.

"I'm sorry too," he says again, "I didn't—I shouldn't have said that you were unwanted. Or that you weren't capable of seeing reason. Or any of it, none of it's true. I just—I was so angry. I wanted to hurt you."

He swallows. "You did."

"I know. I know I did, Roman, I know I hurt you, little one. I—I'm sorry I hurt you. You're not unwanted, I promise. I want you. I want you quite badly."

The earnest way Logan says it threatens tears at the corners of his eyes. "I'm sorry too."

Logan smiles, his own eyes slightly wet. "I forgive you, little one, I forgive you."

Relief sags through him and his legs almost buckle, smile breathless as he stares at Logan. It's okay, it's okay, it's all okay. Logan chuckles, letting him go, a familiar teasing grin taking shape as he ruffles Roman's hair.

The sudden release of the dread is almost strong enough to make him miss the way Janus is squinting at Logan's back.

"J-Janus? What's wrong?"

Janus's mouth presses into a thin line and he carefully extricates himself from Remus and Virgil, not taking his eyes off of Logan. "There are three types of lies."

Logan stiffens.

"Lies of commission, which are outright fabrications," he continues, walking closer, "lies of character, and lies of omission."

"Uh, okay?"

"Logan," and Roman wants to flinch at how cold Janus sounds right now, "you're lying."

Virgil scoffs. "What, he's lying about being sorry?"

"No, he's lying about the Split."

"He didn't say anything about the—oh, I see. I get where you're going now."

"Roman," Logan says, looking back up at him, "Roman, it's okay. We're okay, now, I'm sorry."

He reaches for him but Roman edges back. "What is Janus talking about?"

"Roman, I'm sorry—"

"What is he talking about?"

"Yeah, Logan," Remus says, making Logan whirl around, "what is he talking about?"

"Our dear darling Logan," Janus says, taking a step closer, "is withholding what he knows about the Split. Which is interesting, because as you'll recall, the Split happened after I'd left, before Virgil was formed enough to have sentience, and before Patton manifested. And, of course, before either of the twins existed."

Virgil frowns. "Wait, but that means that Logan, you…"

He trails off and his eyes widen as the implications of what Janus is saying sink in.

"…Logan?" Patton sounds small. "What do you know about the Split?"

"I—" Logan turns around and faces Roman again— "I didn't mean it, I'm sorry, it wasn't—I didn't—please, just listen to me—"

"Oh, we're all listening," Remus growls, "and why're you only talking to Roman? Did you forget I got Split too? Or are you all too happy that happened?"

"That's not what I meant, I didn't—no, that's not why I—" Logan glances frantically at Remus then back to Roman— "just hear me out—"

"You've said that a few times," Virgil says, voice hardening, "and you've yet to actually say anything."

"Roman—"

"Don't fucking talk to him!"

Logan flinches at the force of Remus's shout. Remus forces Logan to turn around, getting right into his face.

"Talk to me," he roars, "tell me what you thought you were doing, tell me why you won't look at me!"

"Because it worked with you!"

Silence.

Remus staggers back from Logan like he's been stabbed, Virgil already standing between them.

"I…I didn't know it would Split," Logan says shakily, "I—I just talked to Creativity and I—I said—"

He swallows.

"I said that there were parts of him that were liked and parts that weren't. And that it…it made sense for them to be…be…"

"Be what," Virgil asks when Logan doesn't finish.

"…be separated," he says weakly, "but I just meant that he should know the difference! Not that he should Split!"

"Oh, Logan," Patton mumbles, "what did you do?"

"What did you mean," Janus asks sharply, "when you said it 'worked' with Remus?"

"Creativity asked what—what the bad parts of him were and so I said that people didn't like when he was loud and messy and scary and then when I—when I came back the next day, there was a—"

Logan's breath catches and he swallows.

"I was only a child, I didn't know that this would mean—"

"There was a what?"

"…a baby. A baby Side on a rock that had been wrapped in a black and green blanket."

Janus's breath catches next. His hand finds its way to Remus. "That's how I found you. You still have that blanket."

"He—Creativity was still there when I got there but he was—he was Fading. He was almost completely transparent, and he asked me if—what I would do with the parts of him I didn't want."

"So you just fucking left me?"

"I was a child! I was panicking, I didn't know what to do, I told him I didn't know what to do, but then he kept on getting more and more frantic, asking me what I was going to do with you and he—he fell apart!" Logan's hands fly up to tangle in his hair. "He fell apart and shimmered and—and when it was over…"

His hands slowly leave his hair as he turns to look over his shoulder.

"Roman," Patton finishes, "when it was over, there was Roman. You Split Creativity into Bad and Not Bad and what was left of Creativity when he removed all that he could label Bad was…Roman."

"No fucking wonder Princey's got so many issues."

"Roman," Logan says, turning fully to face him again, "Roman, please, I didn't know, I was—I was a child, I didn't mean it, I didn't know this was going to happen."

He reaches out, almost stumbling towards him.

"You're wanted, you're wanted, I promise, you're wanted," he rambles, "I want you, I want you, do you hear me? I want you Roman, it's okay, I want you—"

A low rumble and a thunderous crash as the remains of the tower collapse to the ground. The earth shudders.

Over Roman's shoulder, a doorway appears. The door swings open to reveal the Mindscape. Janus muffles a quiet curse as Virgil stands taller.

"C'mon," he says, urging Patton and Janus toward the door, "we gotta go."

"Just let me—"

"The Imagination is ours," comes Remus's voice, low and dangerous, "and it is somewhere you do not want to be right now."

"Logan, come on," Patton says—they've already made it through the door, "just—give them space for now."

But Logan stubbornly reaches for Roman one more time. "Roman, please. Please, little one."

Roman silently opens his arm and gestures toward the door with a blank expression.

The earth rumbles again and a deep cracking sound echoes off of distant cliffs.

Logan swallows and goes to the door. Roman doesn't turn to watch him. His gaze doesn't move from the middle distance until the door shuts and vanishes.

Then he opens his mouth and screams.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl

#dragonbabbles #sanders sides #roman sanders #roman angst #roman sanders angst #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #logan sanders #possibly unsympathetic logan #patton sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #janus sanders #fic

36 notes · View notes

tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors · 1 year

Note

just reread my cozy-blanket-and-tea comfort fic, the queerplatonic LAMP verse and its associated asexual dukeceit fic.

I'm curious, if this is not too personal: what is the difference between a queerplatonic relationship and an asexual romantic one to you? not in the sense of "there's no difference", obviously there is, but in the sense of "I know a bunch of aspec people and every one of them has a different answer to that question, so I'm curious what yours is"?

i think there are as many answers to that question as there are people in alloace romances and in QPRs tbh

i dont think any action is inherently romantic or queerplatonic. i dont think there is any real-life relationship that i as an outsider would feel comfortable sorting into one of those two boxes without being informed first by the participants.

And some QPRs have sex, some alloace romances are also aromantic and queerplatonic, be it because of mismatching or inherently queer orientations, and sometimes an alloace romance is ALSO a QPR

the only criteria for being in one or the other or both or niether is the answer you get when you ask

23 notes · View notes

werewroammin · 7 months

Text

god just came to me and whispered in my ear “dukeceit qpr” and honestly im pretty sure she’s right

#i think this is the weirdest way i couldve presented this concept #excellent

3 notes · View notes

dramaticsnakes · 3 years

Text

The Worldless Woods

@ts-storytime Oh damn it's time. Welcome to my entry for The Sanders Sides Big Bang challenge of 2021!

I've been working on this since February and it's been quite a journey. I'm incredibly proud to have planned and completed a project of this size with a deadline. I had no idea I'd be able to do something like that.

Please check out this incredible art by @doydoune.

Thank you to my beta-reader @rainbowbutterfrosting, to @a-vintage-snake, as well as my queerplatonic partner @anxiously-creating. A longer author’s note can be found by the actual fic on ao3.

AO3 LINK

Pairings: Qpr Dukeceit, Qpr Royality, Romantic Analogical

Word count: 88,974

Cw: past child abuse, past psychological and physical abuse, ableism, death/murder mentions, slight hints at suicidal thoughts but nothing explicit, body horror/animal body horror illusions, dead animal illusions, things that move when they shouldn't, basically Remus makes creepy illusions, isolation, being trapped, threats, manipulation, unsympathetic side-characters, spider mentions, organ mentions, blood mentions, innuendos, food

Fic summary: Janus seeks an escape after being locked away by his parents his entire life, rushing through the dark and magical forest that separates his town from the rest of the world, hoping they won't find him. Tales of the fae and other terrifying creatures in the forest make him on guard, and he expects either death or an escape. What he doesn't expect is to encounter a faerie, who is not at all what he imagined one to be, and who is in many senses of the word, just as stuck as he is.

When Patton learns of Janus' escape, he rushes after him, fearing the worst has happened. What Patton finds in the forest however, is both startlingly similar, and exceptionally different to what Janus found there.

Meanwhile, there are whispers among the townspeople, and new attempts at scientific discoveries, that seem to bring increased attention upon the otherwise solitary forest.

96 notes · View notes

nineevees · 3 years

Text

don’t be suspicious don’t be suspicious

day three of qpr dukeceit week :D

☆qpr dukeceit week taglist☆

@lance-alt @purp-man @qprdukeceitweek

『general taglist』

@lance-alt @moxysanders101 @sasmeo-bisaster @mistythegenderqueermess @count-woe-laf @justmeandmygayships @heckinsnekboi

#i haven’t drawn pat since like;; december of last year 👁👄👁#idk it’s been a while hdhdhjd lmao #thomas sanders #ts #sanders sides #deceit sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #qpr dukeceit #qpr demus #dukeceit #demus #qprdukeceitweek2020 #alien decided to art #i really need to change my art tag to something less self-deprecating

330 notes · View notes

anxiouslyfred · 2 years

Text

Masterlist for my Aro Sides and A-spec Sides Weeks

Aro Sides Week 2022

Discovery - Is There a Label Like That? - Roman discovering the label

Queerplatonic - Merged Names - Remus deciding he wants a QPR with Virgil and Roman

Tertiary Attraction - Words of Experience - Roman tells Logan about the different types of attraction

Free Day - Arguing with Characters - Roman realises he’s aro through writing a character that argues with him

Non-SAM Aro - The Question Unneeded - Patton doesn’t need any more label than aro

Loveless - What Happened to Caring - Roman needs love to stop being the thing people say

Coming out/ Pride - Green - Remus gets ready for Pride and comes out as aro

A-Spec Sides Week 2023

Dragons - Wanting Draglins - Patton wants kids of his own, he just doesn’t want the romance or sex that is usually needed to get them

Crossovers - Bravery - DW Crossover - Virgil ended up in a relationship through fear of abandonment, meeting the Doctor helps him come out to his partner

College AU - Ceiling - Roman isn’t sure where to put his flags up in his dorm room

Pirate AU - Public Consumation - Logan becomes a pirate to avoid forced public consumation of an arranged marriage

Alternative Relationships - Not a Football Club - Dukeceit discuss what QPR can stand for

Coffee Shop - Visiting - part of my Chaos Cafe au - Roman learns about aromanticism and that relationships don’t have strict rules to follow

Free Day - Performance Over - Janus goes hiking to have some time without forced flirting to get his way. Meets some people who might understand.

Aro Sides Week 2023

A Feast of No Sustenance - Realisation

Flags Protections - Flags

Need to Befriend Them? Sounds Fake - Aplatonic

Something to Read - Free Day

Yes But Actually No - romo-aro

No Longer Playing House - found family

No Romance Party - celebration

#arosidesweek2022 #aro sides #masterlist of fics

10 notes · View notes

darth-does-stuff · 1 year

Text

Better Things Yet To Come

(but darling, misfortune always has to arrive first)

Four superheroes in the city of Cyrin, a gilded and fantastical city full of exalted and wondrous powers, according to any outsider you asked. To the locals, it's a city with destruction around every corner, villains rearing their heads in an attempt at building a reputation, and fighting daily. And if you asked the heroes...they'd say that it's a city that has been their home for years on end and, deep inside them, they feel a need to protect it. But if you were to take a closer look at them, you'd see the heavy burden on their shoulders, for, ultimately, Cyrin is not a city without its prices.

[First] [Next] [AO3]

Prologue

⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼

A cracked, broken, old TV sat on an unkempt floor, its flickering light silhouetting a figure perched on a sagging and torn couch.

If there had been another soul in that grimy room, surely the smell of mildew, rot, and the musty smell of a room that had never been aired out since the day it was built would swarm their senses and would have them turning tail after only a few seconds of being there.

But this figure had long since remained here and such things no longer bothered him. An inconvenience, perhaps, but not one great enough to bother dealing with.

A crackling, tinny voice played through slightly broken speakers:

“Once again, the city of Cyrin is protected by its exalted, and we could not be more grateful for it. Oh! Sir, sir! Do you have a moment to speak—"

“I do apologize, but now is not the time. This area is still dangerous and I do still have others to help.”

A figure in a blue costume took off sprinting before water suddenly burst forward from his hands and doused a fire. The news reporter laughed a bit nervously.

“Well, our exalted don’t mess around, that’s for sure. Always people to save, people to help, people to heal, y’know. Anyways, Collin, could you report more on the damage done—"

The figure paused the screen and looked at the headline that dated it back 7 years ago before switching to another news report.

“We are here at downtown Cyrin reporting live as the Luciene skyscraper is teetering dangerously. On the scene, the exalted known as—"

A chunk of rubble fell down from the building, landing with a huge noise that drowned out what the reporter was saying, combined with the screaming as the camera suddenly shook and both the cameraman and reporter ran to a safer place.

A broken window was sailing towards their heads before a sudden and powerful gust of wind blew it overhead away from them, and a figure in light blue flew overhead. He landed next to a collapsed bystander and placed a hand on their forehead, fingerless gloves allowing for skin to skin contact. There was a slight glow before the bystander’s breathing settled and the exalted was off to another section of the site again.

5 years ago, according to the headline.

Pause. Heavy silence. Another recording.

“Who are you and why do you feel the need to butt in on all of my cases—" a figure clad in red spoke out rapidly as a hand clenched in a fist suddenly burst into flame.

“Why, because it’s fun, of course,” a silky voice interrupted off screen, the camera zoomed in on the red exalted red too much to see the other.

“Because it annoys you!” another voice exclaimed, cackling all the while.

“You are only going to—Ah! My good news reporter,” the red exalted let out a booming laugh, fully ignoring the other two and heading towards the camera. He was suddenly right in front of them despite being a good distance away from them before. “What may I help you with—"

4 years ago.

Another.

The camera showed a collapsing building, rubble on the ground and terrified screams filling the morning air. A person near the top suddenly fell and an exalted clad in purple and black flew in to catch them, depositing them safely on the ground. They ran to a chunk of rubble and held it off of someone trapped under it, keeping it held up until they escaped before letting it fall back down. A heavy sigh could be heard even from the camera’s distance away before suddenly the camera shook and a reporter came into view as both ran towards the exalted.

“Sir, may we ask you a few questions—"

“Hey, I’m sorry, but I don’t feel like talking on the news when there’s a collapsing building all around me, sorry.”

He very lightly shoved the camera away, but it still cracked and fractured slightly.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry—"

The TV blinked off, the tiny thud of the remote being set down echoing throughout the room.

4 years ago, three months after the red one.

The figure let out a small chuckle.

“My, my, it appears I’ve missed quite a lot.”

a/n: SUPERHERO AU BABEY

taglist (ask to be added!): @star-crossed-shipper, @flowercrownsandtrauma, @lesbian-pattonsanders

#sanders sides #ts #superhero au #super mysterious guy woah!!!#ill just tag the endgame ships why not #lamp #ts lamp #romantic lamp #dukeceit #(qpr)

10 notes · View notes

i-am-bitterly-jittery · 2 years

Text

Masterlist Masterlist

I reached my link limit on my original Masterlist, so I made several new ones, this one has links to all the Masterlists, as well as my platonic fics and art

Masterlists:

Janus Ships💛🐍

Logan Ships💙📚

Patton Ships🩵🐶

Remus Ships💚🐙

Roman Ships❤️👑

Virgil Ships💜🌩️

Misc. Character Ships (Cartoon Therapy, TS Shorts, etc.)

Original Masterlist (current through 06/22/22)

On Death’s Doorstep💜💛 (multi-chapter fic)

Moxiety Week🩵💜 (platonic and romantic)

They Call Me Wicked

Platonic Fics:

Five Times Virgil Sat on a Surface Not Meant for Sitting Janus, Logan, Roman, Remus, Patton, Thomas Multi-part | Complete | Canonverse | Virgil!centric

What’s In A Name Oneshot | Word count: 4,863 | Canonverse | Kid!Virgil | Momceit

Happy Birthday Anxiety Oneshot | Word count: 1,636 | Canonverse | Patton&Janus&Virgil

Into The Dark Side (tumblr exclusive) Part 1 Multi-part | Incomplete | Canonverse | Logan!centric

Tally Marks Oneshot | Word count: 1,850 | Canonverse | Logan!centric

Dilecti et Amantes Multi-part | Incomplete | Soulmate AU | Undecided relationships | Virgil!centric

Medicated Support System Multi-part | Complete | Canonverse | Virgil!centric | Platonic DLAMPR

Mittens (tumblr exclusive) Oneshot | Word count: 472 | Human AU | Logan!centric

Accidental Werewolf Adoption Patton, That’s Not A Dog Series | Incomplete | Vampire/Werewolf AU | Patton!centric

Traveling In The World Of My Creation Oneshot | Word count: 3,202 | Fantasy AU | Virgil!centric

Just Add Water Oneshot | Word count: 1,883 | Elementary School AU | Creativitwins

Virgil Sanders: Space Ecologist An Interesting Egg Series | Incomplete | Space AU | Platonic DLAMPR, Parental Anxceit

Baby Mine Stand-alone | Word count: 1,589 | Stork AU | Roman!centric

AroAce Remus Perfectly Normal Follow Your Aro Twoshot | Middle School AU | College AU | Remus!centric | QPR Intrumoxiety, Minor Moxiety, Background Roloceit

My Art:

(I’m much better at writing than I am at drawing, but I try anyway)

Sanders-chu: Virgil, Creativitwins, Patton and Logan, Thomas, Janus

Roman and Remus as mermen

Janus taking over Logan’s Lowdowns

On Death’s Doorstep character designs: Gemini (Roman and Remus), Dr. Frankenstein (Logan), Knightcaster (Virgil)

TSS Omori (Omori Sides?)

AO3: LonelyThursday

AO3 exclusives:

Say the Word (and I’m There) Multi-chapter | Incomplete | Soulmate AU | LAMP & Dukeceit

Moral Dilema Oneshot | Word count: 1,525 | Canonverse | My first TSS fic

Left Brainers Vs. Right Brainers Oneshot | Word count: 675 | Canonverse | Platonic DLAMPR

Series/Edited: (cross-posted)

This is Why I Left the Dark Sides (edited)

Five Times Virgil Sat on a Surface Not Meant For Sitting (edited)

What’s in a Name (edited)

My Best Friend’s Brother (series)

Superhero/Villain AU (series)

Tally Marks (edited)

Divorced Loceit (series)

A Pantheon (series)

Tumblr Requests (series)

Setting Sail (series)

On Death’s Doorstep (edited)

#thursday writes #thursday draws #on death’s doorstep #sanders sides au #encanto au #superhero au #soulmate au #pirate au #space au #teacher au #descendants au #ts human au #doppelgänger au #parent trap au #simply meant to be au #vampire au #ghost au

26 notes · View notes

qprdukeceitweek · 3 years

Text

Greetings everyone!

Here speaking are @lance-alt and @purp-man and we are very pleased to announce that we will be hosting a week dedicated to QPR Dukeceit starting from the 14th of December until the 20th!

We’re going to link various posts containing everything you need to know, so please do click them if you’re interested. (This post will be pinned, so in case you can always check our blog for any doubts)

banner art credit, as well as icon and header credit to the wonderful: @vellichoralien

- Rules

- Ao3 Collection

- Days and Prompts

- Event Mix Feature

- For any Doubts

#qpr dukeceit #remus sanders #ts remus #janus sanders #ts janus #qprdukeceitweek2020 #info and about #purp-man #lance-alt

174 notes · View notes

a-small-batch-of-dragons · 1 year

Note

hey !! i don't have a super specific request, but i'd love some qpr content from you if you don't mind !! any ship is fine, but i love qpr dukeceit, analogical, and moxiety ^^

i gave you the darksides polycule i hope that's fine

#dragonbabbles

5 notes · View notes

averykedavra · 3 years

Text

Will You Be There To Follow

I’m back! And I bring fluff! I have a million other things I should be doing, but @qprdukeceitweek has an adorable list of prompts for this week, so I figured I’d write something for a few of them! It was a good excuse for completely plotless, rambling fluff. Plus my own QPP @becca-becky likes Dukeceit, so I couldn’t not.

(Title from Anywhere I Go by Vicetone. You can find this story on Ao3 here.)

Prompt: Day 1. Snakes and rats.

Pairing: QPR Dukeceit

Words: 3388

Warnings: death and murder mentions, kidnapping mention, fire mention (but all joking), food, sympathetic Janus and Remus with one mention of Patton, mentions of many animals including spiders and rats

Remus and Janus weren’t exactly a typical couple.

They’d met in college. At three in the morning, when Remus was frantically looking for the fire extinguisher and barged into Janus’ room by mistake. After successfully putting out the flaming Hot Pockets and thwarting the teachers, Remus had offered Janus an ashy hand and an invitation to hang out. Janus agreed.

Now they were partners, lodged in the sketchiest apartment in town, and they’d only gotten in trouble with the law twice! Janus worked at the local tattoo parlor while Remus scraped his way to a bachelor’s degree. They lived off a diet of ramen and cola. Remus had suggested marriage to make taxes easier, and Janus argued that they’d be succumbing to the system.

Remus proposed anyway. Janus said yes.

So they weren’t typical, but they had followed the usual milestones--graduate, move out, get married. Janus looked viscerally horrified when Remus reminded him of this. He suggested they escape to the mountains, in order to escape the pressure of the status quo. Remus said he didn’t mind doing all the normal stuff if Jan was there, and anyway, quietly subverting expectations was the best. Janus rolled his eyes.

Graduate. Move out. Get married. Obviously, the next step was making a family--and Remus didn’t really want or need a family, but it was a good thing to tease Janus about. And a good way to make sure they were still on the same page.

That entire thought process made since to Remus.

So he wasn’t really sure why Janus almost shrieked when Remus asked “Do you want to get a baby?”

“What?” Janus managed after a few seconds. “A baby?”

“Mhm!” Remus continued chopping the carrots. “You wanna get one?”

“Get one?” Janus repeated. “What do you want a baby for?”

“I don’t, I’m just seeing if you do!” Remus shrugged. “And ‘cause of the usual baby things, right? Keep us company.”

“A sniveling infant will definitely be wonderful company.” Janus turned around to look at Remus, with his classic I’m-not-sure-whether-to-laugh face. “Where’d you get this idea?”

“It’s, like, the usual order, right?” Remus spread out his hands, and Janus ducked to avoid the carrot knife. “Move into apartment. Get married. Have baby. Have another baby. Go to soccer practice. Mortgage the house. Have an affair. Read a lot of newspapers. Slowly grow to loathe each other.”

Janus snickered. “I’m not keen on any of that.”

“Well, we could just grab a baby and see if we like it?” Remus asked. “We could always put it back later.”

“We could--” Janus blinked at him and snickered again. “Whose baby would this be?”

“Ours!”

“How would we get it, then?”

“Adoption!” Remus suggested. “Or kidnapping.”

“I knew it!” Janus declared. “I knew this was another attempt at getting permission for kidnapping.”

“Aw, but it’s just a baby! It won’t mind!” Remus stuck out his bottom lip. “We can steal it from rich people. Please?”

“I’m not sure if my usual ‘steal only from the rich’ rule applies to newborn children.”

“We could train it up!” Remus continued, grinning. “Teach it the ways of the world. And then it can carry on our legacy.”

Janus dried his hands. “What legacy?”

“Subterfuge, sappiness, and systematically undermining the government.”

“Right, right, that legacy.” Janus laughed. “Be that as it may, I’m not exactly eager to change diapers. Get me a baby that doesn’t poop, cry, or need any sort of food, and we’re golden.”

“Hmm,” Remus said, scrunching up his face. “So you just want a talking baby doll.”

“No!” Janus folded his arms. “Those always murder you.”

“It’d be a wild way to go, though.” Remus rocked back and forth on the kitchen floor. Janus carefully took the knife from his hand and put it in the sink. “What’s something couples do instead of babies--”

“We’re not exactly a traditional couple,” Janus pointed out. “Most couples kiss each other, and don’t have a warrant for their arrest in Oklahoma.”

“That was completely not my fault.” Remus thought for a few more seconds. “Oh! Oh, Jan! We could get a pet!”

Janus tilted his head. “That would solve some of the problems.”

“We could get a pet,” Remus said, warming to the idea, “and we could hang out with it! And if it was a big one, it could guard the door from thieves.”

“A pet,” Janus repeated, and Remus squealed when he saw Janus start to nod. “That’s not a terrible idea, actually. Even if it is upholding outdated marital traditions.”

“Nah, animals are way beyond all that!” Remus spread his hands. “It’s a cool living organism! All blood and bones and sinew! Don’t classify pets with, like, amatonormativity.”

“Hmm,” Janus said. “How much would a pet cost?”

“Depends on the pet, right?”

“Hmm,” Janus said again. “And what pet would you suggest--”

Remus beamed. “Spider monkey.”

“What?”

“It’s a monkey! But it’s really long.” Remus wiggled his fingers to convey the length. “I wonder if it eats spiders or just looks like one.”

“We are not getting a pet monkey,” Janus said. “They poop.”

“Every animal poops, Jan, you’re not getting out of that one.”

“Ugh,” Janus complained. “Plus I’m pretty sure that’s an illegal pet--”

“So?”

“So illegal pets wouldn’t be happy in the apartment,” Janus said. “Either that, or they’re endangered and poached. We’re going to aim for a legal pet here.”

“Well, there go half my ideas!” Remus pouted. “What pet do you wanna get, buzzkill?”

“I don’t know,” Janus said, leaning against the counter. “We decided on this three seconds ago, I haven’t searched the whole catalog.”

“Are there pet catalogs?”

“There are probably lists online.” Janus’ hand drifted towards his pocket before he glanced at the half-chopped carrots and various kitchen implements. “We need to make lunch first, though--”

“Nope!” Remus threw open the cupboard and grabbed a bag of chips. “Makeshift lunch. Let’s go.”

Janus watched him with a small smile. “You’re really excited about this, aren’t you?”

“Idea!” Remus said by way of explanation. “Animal!”

“Animal,” Janus agreed, giving the carrots a regretful look before leading the way into the living room. “Pass the chips.”

Remus tossed him the chip bag and flopped onto the couch. The couch gave its usual pitiful squeak, and Remus kicked his feet up onto the armrest just to spite it. Janus curled into the other corner of the couch and pulled out his phone.

“Okay, here’s a list of possible pets,” he said. “We could--”

“Hold on!” Remus raised a finger before rolling off the couch. He yanked at the mass of papers under the couch before pulling out a sheaf of poster paper and pulling it over the TV. “Meeting time?”

“Alright,” Janus shrugged and grabbed a nearby marker. “I can write.”

“Cool!” Remus yanked away the remnants of the last meeting’s notes, which involved a parking lot vandalism and choices of flannels. “This meeting shall come to order. The subject is possible pets.”

“I’ll write a list and we can work through the possibilities.” Janus uncapped the marker and scribbled a header for the list. “Let’s see…cat, dog, fish…”

“Hamster,” Remus suggested, collapsing back onto the couch. “Gerbil? What’s the difference?”

“Guinea pigs too,” Janus added. “Birds--”

“Birds is a category.”

“So?”

“If birds are all one entry, blend together the hamsters and guinea pigs.”

“I already wrote them--” Janus sighed and wrote birds, etc. on the paper. “Happy?”

“Weasels,” Remus said. “Ferrets. Monkeys.”

Janus wrote down weasels and ferrets, but not monkeys. “Snakes. Snails.”

“Snails?” Remus repeated.

“Hermit crabs.”

“People have pet crabs?”

“Geckos,” Janus continued, seemingly unfazed. “Spiders--”

“Spiders?” Remus almost yelled. “Where are you getting this stuff?”

“Old roommate in college was a total animal lover,” Janus said. “Hmm...ants.”

“We’re not getting ants,” Remus said.

“Shh, voting comes later.” Janus stepped back and tapped the marker on his chin. “Is that all?”

“Frogs?” Remus suggested. He wasn’t sure if they could be pets, but maybe if he spitballed animals, he’d land on a correct one. “Zebras? Rats? Dragons? Hedgehogs?”

“Two or three of those are real, I think,” Janus said. He wrote down most of them, disappointingly leaving out dragons. “Aren’t there more kinds of lizards?”

“Write lizards, etc, like the coward you are.” Remus wriggled back and forth on the couch. “Rabbits?”

“Rabbits,” Janus agreed. “Mice. Turtles?”

“Don’t ask me, you’re the expert-by-proxy.”

“There’s got to be a few more.” Janus read through the list. “Are goats pets?”

“Are horses?”

“We can’t fit a horse in our apartment.”

“You said it wasn’t the veto stage yet,” Remus pointed out.

Janus groaned and wrote horse on the list. “Anything else, before I can quickly cross out horse?”

Remus kicked his feet in the air as he thought. “Tiger?”

“Not a pet.”

“Only if you’re a coward.”

“Let’s just say that’s all the pets,” Janus said. “Can I cross out horse now?”

Remus sighed. “Fine.”

Janus crossed out horse gleefully and with vigor.

“Now cross out ants,” Remus said. “They’re only good for eating.”

“I sincerely hope you’re referring to their eating.”

Remus grinned.

Janus crossed out ants and skimmed the list. “I’m not too keen on snails, are you?”

“I still think you’re making them up.”

“Snails exist.”

“Not as pets!” Remus waved a hand. “Toss ‘em.”

“Alright.” Janus edited the list. “No fish.”

“What?” Remus frowned. “Why?”

“They’re absolute nonentities! Why get a fish when you can just be lonely?” Janus shrugged. “Besides, I am ninety percent sure you’d eat the fish.”

Remus crossed his arms. “That rules out all the pets, then!”

“Ew.” Janus sighed. “I’ll just cross off the smallest ones, to be safe. No mice, no frogs--okay, one of the gerbil-hamster-guinea-pigs are smaller than the others, but I have no idea which one--”

“Cross ‘em all off,” Remus said. “We’re not seven, we can do better.”

“If you say so.” Janus crossed off the several similar rodents. “Thoughts on hermit crabs?”

“Crunchy!”

“They don’t exactly possess personality.” Janus paused before scribbling through the hermit crabs, then the hedgehogs.

“Hey, c’mon, we vote first!” Remus leaned over and grabbed at the marker. “What’s wrong with hedgehogs?”

Janus looked contemptuous. “Pointy.”

“Yeah, we can use them as projectiles!”

“Oh, good point.” Janus readied his marker. “Eliminate all animals that you could possibly use as a weapon.”

“Aw, come on, Jan!” Remus snatched at the marker again. “At least lemme keep the ones that would survive it!”

“No.” Janus laughed. “Okay, but seriously, we aren’t getting a bird. I have enough birds in my life already.”

“The pigeons wanna be your friend,” Remus said. “Let them.”

“The pigeons have declared war after you fed them hot cheetos.” Janus glanced suspiciously at the window. “I shall not let them near me.”

“Fine, fine, no birds.” Remus blew a raspberry at Janus, who stuck out his tongue. “At this rate, we won’t have a single possibility left.”

“There’s still a good amount.” Janus read off the list. “Geckos, lizards etc, dogs, cats, rats, snakes, spiders, weasels and ferrets.”

“Geckos or lizards?” Remus thought about it. “They’re not very cuddly.”

“So?” Janus gestured at him. “I already cuddle with you, I don’t need another cuddly animal.”

“It’d be nice to, like, hold it though. Pet it.” Remus petted the air as an example. “Hairy!”

“Hairy means shedding,” Janus argued. “I’m not getting fur all over my shirt.”

“Spiders don’t shed!” Remus suggested. “And some of them are real hairy.”

“I hate spiders.”

“Why?”

“Just do.”

“Well, I hate geckos,” Remus decided. “‘Cause I said so.”

Janus let out a long breath. “Maybe we’re going about this the wrong way. What animal, out of these, do you want to have?”

Remus hummed and looked at the list. Dog, cat, rabbit--all too mainstream. A gecko was slimy. A snake had no arms, and that was sad. Ferrets were cool, but not really what Remus would choose--

“What do you want?” Remus asked.

Janus made a non-committal noise that signified he’d already made his choice and was just trying to be nice. “You?”

“On three,” Remus said. “Three--two--one--”

“Snake.”

“Rat.”

They both stared at each other for a moment.

“Rat?” Janus finally said. “You can’t just grab something out of the sewer and call it a pet. We talked about this.”

“No, no, a nice rat!” Remus bounced up from the sofa. “A pet one! People have those, right? We could get a rat. It’s furry but I don’t think it sheds, it doesn’t take up much space--please?”

“Huh,” Janus said. He looked back to the paper and circled rat. “Alright, that can be our first possibility.”

“And you said snake?”

“Snake,” Janus said, his eyes lighting up. “Perhaps a corn snake? Any sort of snake would work.”

“Alright,” Remus said. “Snake.”

Janus happily circled snake on the list before sitting on the couch and grabbing the unopened bag of chips. Remus made grabby hands and Janus passed him a few chips. Remus munched on the chips and Janus looked like he was thinking.

“Rat or snake?” Janus finally asked.

“Both?”

“Sure, put a rat and a snake together, they’ll get along great.”

“Separate terrariums?”

“Defeats the purpose of cuddling.” Janus popped a chip into his mouth. “Besides, I don’t think we can spring for two pets. We’ll barely be able to afford one.”

“We don’t have to pay for the electric bill,” Remus suggested. “We can light a fire, like cavemen.”

“Arson isn’t the answer to everything.”

“You just lack imagination.”

“We’ll have to choose one,” Janus said. “And since any vote we have is a tie--”

“Nose goes!” Remus smacked himself in the face. “Ow!”

Janus hadn’t even budged. “No.”

“I won the nose goes!”

“We’re going to do this like civilized partners.” Janus leaned forward. “We’re going to discuss this, listen to each other, and come to a reasonable conclusion.”

Remus groaned. “Come on. Can’t we draw straws?”

“This is a pet we’re talking about, not who does the dishes!” Janus waved his hand. “A living, breathing animal. We need to take this seriously! It’s a big decision!”

“If you wanted to take it seriously, you shouldn’t have agreed right away and skipped lunch over it,” Remus pointed out. “You jumped into this just like I did.”

“Well, you were being all--” Janus twisted his face. “Excited. I got swept up in the moment.”

“Aw, really?” Remus’ eyes widened. “Aww, Jan, you’re such a softie--”

“Shut up,” Janus complained, swatting at Remus’ face. “Shut up.”

“You love me.”

“Yes, we’re engaged, that’s been established, shut up.” Janus huffed, his face dark with blush. “The point is, we rushed into this.”

“Yeah, duh.”

“This is probably a terrible idea.”

“Like usual, yeah.”

“We shouldn’t even get a pet, there’s no reason to--”

“Oh, see, that’s where you’re wrong.” Remus spread his hands. “There isn’t a reason not to.”

Janus stared at him for a second. “That’s all you’ve got?”

“Yep!”

“Okay.” Janus nodded. “Okay, fine. Rat or snake?”

“Hmm.” Remus thought about it. “Rats have cool tails!”

“So do snakes,” Janus said. “Snakes have fangs.”

“Rats have cool little feet.”

“Snakes have scales.”

“Rats can spread rabies, I think.”

“That’s not a good thing!” Janus paused. “Also, can’t snakes spread salmonella?”

“I’d much rather have rabies.” Remus blew out a long breath. “You really want a snake, don’t you?”

“I don’t want any pet, this was your idea.” Janus waited a few seconds, and Remus let him wait. “I--I would prefer a snake, though. Patton had one back in college, it sat on my shoulders while I studied. I liked it.”

“Then--” Remus swallowed. “Then sure. Snake.”

“What?” Janus’ eyebrows came together. “Remus, are you sure--”

“Snakes are cool! Very sneaky and cool, and some of them are poisonous.” Remus leaned forward and bumped Janus’ shoulder. Janus instinctively leaned into him, and Remus pulled Janus closer and into his lap. “I don’t mind, Jan.”

“It was your idea to get a pet,” Janus said weakly. “Besides, rats are also cool! You could have an army, like the Pied Piper.”

“Snakes can swallow mice whole!”

“Rats can jump more than three feet in the air!”

“Snakes don’t have arms!”

Janus opened his mouth to fire back, and Remus screwed up his face in preparation to retaliate.

Janus giggled.

Remus snickered.

And they both burst out laughing.

“You could be the rat king,” Janus forced out between laughs. “You could rule the--the city.”

“You could use your snake to hypnotize people,” Remus countered.

“You could--” Janus dissolved into giggles and leaned into Remus’ chest. Remus tucked his chin on top of Janus’ head and enjoyed the way Janus melted into his arms.

“We don’t have to decide now,” Remus said after he managed to control his laughter. “Like, not even close to now. It’s been twenty minutes.”

“Fair, we should have an actual lunch.” Janus kicked aside the chip bag and glanced at the paper. “We did go a bit overboard--I don’t even know where we could get a pet.”

Remus watched Janus stand up and start to clean up the mess. They definitely didn’t need to figure it out, but Remus kinda did want to pursue this--at least because of the excitement in Janus’ eyes every time Remus pulled him into something stupid and ill-advised.

Deciding on a pet--one pet--was definitely the normal thing to do.

Since when had they ever been normal?

“Hey,” Remus said, “it’s not too cold outside, right?”

“I don’t think so?” Janus glanced out the window. “Why?”

Remus grinned and jumped off the couch. “I’m pretty sure there’s an animal shelter a few blocks away.”

“You’re kidding.” Janus’ mouth twitched. “We can’t just walk into there without a plan--”

“Why not?” Remus shrugged. “Society is a lie, right?”

Janus’ mouth twitched again, and he bit his lip to hide his smile. “We have lunch.”

“We’ll grab some on the way there!” Remus tilted his head and gave Janus puppy dog eyes. “Please? We can just take a peek at the animals they have. See what we bond with. Steal one. And ask if a rat and a snake could possibly get along.”

“They can’t,” Janus said. “They’d kill each other.”

“You said that about us, too! Our second date!” Remus grabbed Janus’ hand. “And look at us, still alive and un-murdered.”

“Don’t count on it,” Janus said, but his eyes had softened. “You’re serious about this?”

“Serious as ever!” Remus shrugged. “Look, it’s this or I go back to Plan A and steal a rich person’s baby.”

“Don’t you dare.”

“Kiss my beautiful patootie.”

“Ugh.” Janus ducked around Remus and grabbed his phone. “This will be a quick trip, right? Should I bring a carrier for whatever we decide on?”

“They’ll have those, right?” Remus darted over to the kitchen and pulled out a garbage bag. “Will this work?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s animal cruelty.”

“Aw.”

Janus pulled back his hair and grabbed his keys. Remus shrugged on a jacket. Janus gave the apartment one cursory check and, apparently finding no dead bodies, turned away.

“We’re really doing this?” Remus asked. “You’re okay with it?”

Janus paused and nodded. “Wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t. I promise I’m along for the ride.”

Remus pressed a kiss to Janus’ cheek and enjoyed the way Janus stammered. “Great.”

“Don’t do that,” Janus complained. Remus knew it wasn’t a complaint. They knew each other like that. It had been such a long time since they met at three in the morning and thwarted campus security, and Remus had learned so much about Jan, and Jan had done the same. And they’d both figured out there was stuff they didn’t need to know.

Like a game plan. Or a way to fit a new pet into the apartment. Or a way to sneak it past their landlord, who Remus suddenly realized might not like pets.

But it was way more of an adventure not knowing.

Remus loved to leap into every idea.

And Remus loved that Janus always took the leap, too.

“You promise this is fine?” Remus asked.

“Yes,” Janus said. “And you promise not to make a nuisance of yourself in the shelter?”

“Nope!” Remus grinned. “You’re stuck with me.”

“Good.” Janus pulled the door open and smiled. “It wouldn’t be any fun otherwise.”

General taglist (ask to be included or removed!):

@the17thmeatball

@most-likely-fandom

@csi-baker-street-babes

@caffeinated-cryptid

@thefivecalls

@ollyollyoxinfree

@the-gay-is-back

@dramaticsnakes

@stoicpanther

@chaospersonified

@thatoneloudowl

@jungle321jungle

@mistythegenderqueermess

@k1ngtok1

@joylessnightsky

@elizabutgayer

@ohheavenlylord

@enby-ralsei

@glassferns

@remy-the-lemon-berry

@larrymalecsolangelo

@riptide-123

#janus sanders #remus sanders #dukeceit #demus #qprdukeceitweek2020 #sympathetic janus sanders #sympathetic remus sanders #qpr dukeceit #tw murder mention #tw death mention #tw spiders #this is the floofiest thing ever but i don't care #anyway back to my hidey-hole as i attempt to actually finish my wips #averywrites

136 notes · View notes