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#rip my gpa

I haven’t been here on ages.

Many of you may have thought I’m dead but I’m been busy turning pages

In this place called school where my brain is trapped in a cage

Each time I do something I realize I’m not smart unlike everyone 

They tell you high school comes once so have fun 

Maybe this is a big lie which they have told each one of us

Each time I have a book or test in front of me I tell my brain to engage

I’m really trying to get that A+ but instead, I get an F

Each time I see my GPA & grades I become upset with myself 

Am I not trying hard enough?

I wish school didn’t test me on things which don’t make sense

“I swear I’m smart”, I would say In my defense 

What happened to me? Should I try something else?

Maybe I’m just another bright student who got dull

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My new environmental science professor: I grade on executive function, social skills, and handwriting ability

Me: wack

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Post 1

Its 5:15 am where I currently lay.

I just spent the last hour on tik tok because I started to spiral as I realized my GPA this semester will be worse than ever. While on my tik tok distraction binge I came across a profile that had a striking resemblance to my ex. And for whatever reason I went to go look up my ex on insta bc that was the only place I could think of that I might remember their user name. I was quickly disinterested when I realized the person on tik tok was not my ex. But something told me to scroll to the bottom of the profile. So I did. On that journey I saw that they never deleted any old pics of me or of us together. It was a strange and almost good feeling? Our relationship was not a healthy one. I cant explain my self well as to what the feeling was. I guess it was just nice seeing old pics of me that weren’t selfies. Pictures that were from some one elses point of view and that were of me from what feels like a life time ago

TL;DR

It’s late. My professors and I are both mad at my GPA. Tik tok is weird. My ex had old pics of me. Strange feelings?

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