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audioletter · 7 months

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Day Two: Tattoos (one of two, because @spurious knows the hold this prompt would have on me) McShep

"Your wrist band."

"Hmmm?"

Rodney points at the black cotton encasing John's wrist with his fork, slighly exasperated. "Wrist band, y'know, the thing you never take off, not even when we…y'know."

"You can say 'make out', Rodney, you're forty years old." John swallows his food, puts his fork down and crosses his arms. "It's full of secrets, McKay."

It's worth it for the frustration and blustering that comes at John from across the table. "This - why - why can't you just -" and Rodney drops his voice to a whisper despite the overwhelming din of the mess, "- let me in a bit more?"

The question lies heavy under John's brow - mainly because he doesn't know the answer himself - and he bows his head slightly. "Rodney, I…"

"Nevermind. Nevermind! It's fine," and Rodney abruptly stands, picks up his tray and makes to leave. John panicks a bit; the fact a wrist band seemed to be standing between his need for self-preservation and the new, exciting life he was building with Rodney seemed stupid and mundane, but he can't find the words to explain this while being surrounded by clattering cutlery and conversations about what others missed on Earth.

"Can you…just come to my quarters, later, Rodney?"

Rodney hesitates, pulling his chin up. "Maybe," and he's gone, just like that.

—

The door opens at Rodney's whim and John jumps up from his bed. "You came."

Rodney holds his arms open indigantly. "I came, I'm here, what about it?"

"Here." John pushes his exposed wrist towards Rodney's face in a near frenzy, a need to be closer to this person he cared too much for - a person that made him crazy with want and the need to take all his known neuroses about being alone and not bottle them away. To share them, to bear them all heart and soul, and John almost feels scared.

"It's - a paper plane? Tattoo?" John drops his wrist, but Rodney catches it before it falls too far. "It's…why do you keep it a secret?When did you get it?"

"Eighteen. I wanted to fly, and the closest I got before the Air Force was making these with Dave on the back porch. And it's a not a secret per se, it's…a reminder, a -" he groans, running his free hand through his hair in frustration - "a piece of me. There, now you know."

Rodney follows him across the room to where John had left his black wrist band, pulling it from his hands before he put it back on. "No, no, I love it."

"What?"

"I - I love it. I can just see young you throwing paper planes and probably not knowing the aerodynamic theories behind them, of course, but -"

"Rodney."

Rodney straightened and cleared his throat in the way John had learnt was his way of apologising. "I just mean that you shouldn't hide it away. Because it's a part of you."

John almost keels over when he feels Rodney's lips on the thin lines of the inked paper plane - gentle, tentative and welcome - and the wrist band stays off for the rest of the evening.

#audiolettertober fic #stargate atlantis #mcshep #wanna see my paper plane wax seal that inspired this #no?#aw #it's 4:57am and i'm writing mcshep while spurious sleeps soundly #completely normal behaviour non #yes i type quietly i am respectful

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meishouse · 4 months

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media i could talk about for hours

Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse (dir. Peter Ramsey, Bob Persichetti, Rodney Rothman) & Spiderman: Across the Spider-Verse (dir. Joaquim Dos Santos, Justin K. Thompson, Kemp Powers) You know ther story, after being bit by a radioactive spider, Miles Morales becomes Spider-Man and soon is embroiled in a battle to save the multiverse after he collides with alternate versions of himself. These two movies are easily, in my opinion, some of the greatest feats of animation I've ever seen. With the clear and concrete understanding of the rules of animation, the brilliant animation team, bend and break those rules so perfectly to fit the story and to further foreshadow the storyline. Plus, with an amazing two soundtracks produced by Daniel Pemberton and Metro Boomin, respectively, the movie has this amazing connection with lovers of hip hop and trap music.

Saltburn (dir. by Emerald Fennel) in which wealthy Felix sympathises with his newfound friend's living situation and invites him to spend the summer with him and tragedy soon engulfs the entire family. Okay first of all, that synopsis does not do the movie justice, anyone who's seen Saltburn will back me up on this, but there's truly no combination of words that could even begin to describe the beauty of both the plot and visuals of Saltburn. The story and plot simply unrivals anything else I've seen, the use of music throughout was absolute perfection and iconic. If you've not seen it yet, you really should.

Fleabag (dir. Harry Bradbeer, Tim Kirkby (pilot)) based on the book written by the wonderfully witty Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Fleabag is a series following a woman (known only as Fleabag) with a dry sense of humour navigating life and love in London whilst dealing with the grief of her best friend. The series is nothing short of pure, unbridled brilliance, it is raw and real and honest and so tenderly human. It is one of those shows that left me wishing I could relive watching it for the first time, over and over.

Bojack Horseman (created by Raphael Bob-Waksberg) a show about a humanoid horse, a famous 90s sitcom star, who struggles with substance abuse amidst his desire for a comeback. The series took place over six seasons and follows the growth of Bojack and his friends. Bojack Horseman encouraged me to question several of my own morals while confronting the complexity of people and the complexity of morality. And yet, it does this so simplistically, almost without you really realising it, captivating your attention in a spell. It also targeted many real-world issues without being overwhelming. A truly binge-worthy show.

Someone Great (dir. Jennifer Kaytin Robinson) dumped by her long-term boyfriend, music journalist (played by Gina Rodriguez) recruits her two best friends for one last outrageous adventure before she leaves that chapter of her life for good. Now, I think Someone Great did the perfect job of depicting love, in all its form and stages, in such a visually powerful way. The soundtrack features songs by Lorde, who is a visionary in powerful, emotional, lyrics on both love and heartbreak. Jennifer Kaytin Robinson managed to, in my humble opinion, perfectly encapsulate the feeling of first love (and heartbreak) throughout the movie. Someone Great, is, for this reason, my favourite movie of all time.

#saltburn #emerald fennell #someone great #gina rodriguez #metro boomin #into the spider verse #miles morales #across the spiderverse #fleabag #phoebe waller bridge #romantic comedy #coming of age #film #movie review

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dedkake · 2 months

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i'd do anything | an sga dubcon reclist

a limited selection of the wealth of dubcon fic in the sga fandom

there is a sliding scale of how dubious the consent is in these fic, as well as other warnings, so please read responsibly.

aliens make them do it

Mercy by astolat | e, 1.5k, rodney / john John stared down at his hands, a little numbly, watching Rodney wrap the long leather strap over and under his wrists, binding them together. Operation Think of Atlantis by Liviapenn | e, 3.4k, rodney / john "Hey," John said after a while, "did anything like this ever happen to any of the SGC teams?" Want by velocitygrass | e, 3.7k, rodney / john They'd found him here three hours ago, naked, arms in shackles that were chained to the ceiling. At One's Pleasure by Ladycat | e, 3.8k, ronon / teyla / rodney / john “I will do this,” Teyla says. If anything, she looks interested at the explanation. Boundaries by esteefee | e, 4.2k, rodney / john The Alien High Priest makes them do it. This was for the AMTDI challenge, finished way too late. And the Boxes Came Tumbling Down by FrankTheSnek | e, 7.3k, rodney / john There was an art to hiding your true self, an art John had mastered. Sometimes however, life forced you into situations where hiding was impossible and all your secrets were revealed. Once things are forced into the open, can John pick up the pieces and hide himself away again? Does he want to? What I Meant To Say by Cesare | e, 7.7k, rodney / john AMTDI, bondage, boots, and bottom!John, by request. Warning, AMTDI noncon/dubcon issues apply. Stay, that's what I meant to say, or do something But what I never say is stay this time I really meant to so bad, this time But you can never really tell when somebody Wants something you want too… -- David Bowie, "Stay" Like She Owns Him by trophic | e, 8.6k, sam / john In order to negotiate with an alien society, Sam needs to bring along a sex slave in a harness. John volunteers. A Little Bit More (But Not Too Much) by Green & Ladycat | e, 10.7k, rodney / john John swallowed, because that should not have been sexy. He found himself breathing shallowly, the scent of Rodney -- sweat and grass and a little bit of mint, like aftershave long faded -- oddly overwhelming. "Just because I'm American military doesn't mean I haven't … wondered," he said, struggling to try and sound normal. Decreasing Radii by cathalin | e, 27k, rodney / john An alien device forces John and Rodney to do something they wouldn't do otherwise. The aftermath is not easy. But sometimes, not-easy leads to good things.

power imbalance

Take It Like a Man by sabinelagrande | e, 1.7k, rodney / john John Sheppard, occasional cocksucker. Bound and Waiting by A_Storm_of_Roses | e, 2k, larrin / john “Now, now, there’s no need to struggle so much. You’ll hurt yourself.” John finds himself at Larrin's mercy once again, this time with a much more enjoyable outcome. Passion's a Prison by sharkie335 | e, 2.6k, rodney / john Rodney held up a large hunting knife, repeating, "I don't have to untie you." Wake by Speranza | e, 3.3k, john / rodney, multi John's more than a little buzzed by the time he decides to go through with it. Brownian Motion by 30toseoul | e, 3.6k, ronon / teyla / rodney / john John gets bounced into an alternate reality. Contractual Obligations by velocitygrass | e, 4.4k, rodney / john "Get a condom for Rodney and something to prepare John," he heard the director's voice coming from somewhere. He slowly looked up, and it suddenly dawned on him what that meant. If you want to kiss the sky by siegeofangels | m, 7.8k, multi Warning: John fucks a lot of people, willingly but not necessarily happily. Warning: Kind of meta. helpless plaything by torch | e, 8.2k, ronon / rodney / john So, John Sheppard falls through a quantum mirror and ends up in a universe where Rodney and Ronon are warlords. And hey, they like him. A Fate So Sweet by Telesilla | e, 13.7k, rodney / john, multi Rodney McKay, owner of the exclusive brothel Pegasus House, doesn't usually train new workers. Former airship pilot John Sheppard, however, might just prove the exception to the rule in more ways than one. Theban Bond by tigerlady (shetiger) | e, 15.3k, evan / john, evan / rodney / john When John had been promoted to lieutenant colonel, he'd mostly been in shock that Elizabeth had managed to keep him in Atlantis at all. So in shock, in fact, that he hadn't even remembered the other responsibilities that came along with his new rank until Major Evan Lorne showed up at his door, ready to serve. Term of Service by Resonant | e, 16.2k, rodney / john, multi "You're telling me that you would sell your bodies for curiosity, orbital shielding, and a quarter-charged ZPM?" "Well, yeah. Who wouldn't?" **Warning for noncon also Wrapped in a Red Ribbon by auburn | e, 23k, rodney / john Det. Sheppard and CSI McKay must go undercover to catch a serial killer. **Warning for noncon also Vegas Dirtbag!Lorne AU by Anagrrl & chaos_monkey | e, 35k, evan / john, cam / john Major Evan Lorne looks like the all-American dream guy, the perfect poster boy for the US military, on the surface. The type who'd have your daughter home smiling and maybe a little disappointed by nine pm sharp, even if you'd said ten. Clean cut, easygoing. Good-looking in a way that's completely nonthreatening, even a little bit boring. Safe.

under the influence (drugs and alcohol)

Abandon by Zinnith | e, 2.7k, rodney / john "If you come inside now, I won't be able to help myself." Rodney on alien Viagra. Natural Aptitude by rageprufrock | e, 4.3k, rodney / john "Hey," John said, blinking. "You're kind of a slut, aren't you? Them Other Boys Don't Know How to Act by eleveninches | e, 4.6k, rodney / john Tag for 3x03 Irresistible. Rodney fails at getting his revenge, and Sheppard fails at getting his point across. Synchonicity by amireal & seperis | e, 10k, rodney / john "How long have we been walking?" What Happens in Pegasus, Stays in Pegasus by kisahawklin | e, 11.2k, jennifer / rodney / john Sex at a science convention! What could be better? Advantage by Resonant | e, 14.9k, rodney / john This slave-owner thing was a lot of responsibility.

under the influence (mind whammy)

If You Trust In Me, I Can Be Anything You Need by zoemathemata | e, 3.2k, rodney / john From a prompt on the sga_kinkmeme - John/Rodney, begging, conditioning, d/S, dubcon Months after he was kidnapped, John escapes and returns to Atlantis, but he's miserable. His captors conditioned him as a sexual submissive and to come on command and only on command. Embarrassed and desperate, craving the satisfaction and headspace of those experiences, he turns to Rodney for help. - UNBETAT'D Release Mechanism by Hth | e, 7k, ronon / john “It is temporary,” the old man said. “Activating the release mechanism within a certain period of time negates the– “ “Mine,” Sheppard said, in the slow tones of someone who was working very hard to stay calm, “doesn’t have a release mechanism.” “That’s a problem,” the Avorian said. Heart of Ice by crysothemis | e, 8.6k, rodney / john "That's the problem," Rodney said. "You don't care about anything." We Cannot Live Within by laureltreedaphne | e, 9.6k, rodney / john John grinned. "So McKay's attractive to everyone?" Fix (John's Point of View) by crysothemis | e, 33k, rodney / john John has a problem. Rodney really doesn't want to help.

#stargate atlantis #sgarecs #fic #heed all those warnings please #just felt the need #to share the love for dubcon #maybe i'll make lists for under the influence #and amtdi #that include the less dubcon-y ones too #someday #<33

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massharp1971 · 11 months

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gimme the......untitled! trauma! fic!

I'm not sure this one will ever see the light of day because it's really, really angsty as it charts John and Rodney's respective ptsd experiences (imagine if these were real people, how completely traumatised they'd be). So I'm going to share a bit more than a snippet from the beginning, because I kinda like this bit... ---

John never slept heavily, so he was out of bed and opening his door within a beat of the chime.

There was Rodney McKay, looking rumpled and troubled.

But alive, his skipping heart told him. When John had seen Rodney’s prone figure on the floor of the gate room it had ignited an entirely unfamiliar kind of terror. The whole incident had given him layer upon layer of freak-out because number one, the cowardly lion of an astrophysicist was clearly susceptible to acts of ridiculous and life-threatening bravery and that meant it would be that much harder to keep him safe. Number two, it seemed just a little weird that John was more scared today than he had been not two weeks before when he had mercy-killed his commanding officer and been forced to his knees by a life sucking monster. Number three, and probably related somehow, was the weirdest thing of all – he had made a friend, and potentially a good one, and that wasn’t something John did often.

Well, ever.

Something about Rodney’s very existence gave John a feeling of overwhelming… relief, recognition, rightness… it was hard to look at too closely but impossible not to notice. Which meant that John very much did not want Rodney to die horribly.

“Can I…” Rodney waved his hands in the direction of entry, and John stepped aside, letting the man into his quarters.

“Sure, Rodney,” John said. “Something wrong?”

“Would it be… appropriate, for me to talk to you about… you see, I’ve learnt the hard way…” Rodney looked a little pale and sweaty, and John felt a stab of concern.

“Rodney, sit.” He gestured to the bed, and hunkered down beside it, feeling a little too self-conscious to sit next to the scientist. “You can tell me anything you need to,” John said, hoping he hadn’t just invited some kind of wildly inappropriate middle of the night conversation.

“I made a mistake, at the SGC,” Rodney said, his eyes refusing to meet John’s, his hands in constant motion that almost hid the underlying tremor. “I should have got support. Not everyone is… later, I spoke to a therapist and, well he pointed out to me that it wasn’t really that unreasonable of me to be terrified. So, I will speak to Heightmeyer of course, but I think it would be good if I spoke to you too and reminded you…”

Rodney hadn’t been looking at John, but suddenly his fearful eyes lifted. Their startling blue was intensified by the slight moisture there, and John had the ridiculous urge to surge forward and put his arms around Rodney’s broad shoulders.

“Reminded me of what?” John said gently, resting his hand reassuringly on Rodney’s kneecap in lieu of an embrace he didn’t dare risk.

“That I’m not a soldier… I haven’t been trained to deal with life or death.” He looked panicked and uncertain.

“Rodney, breathe,” John told the scientist. “Slow down. I don’t know what you’re trying to say here, but nobody expects you to be a soldier.”

“Look, most boys at least learn the basics, right? But I was never taught to fight – there wasn’t any point, because I moved up the grades so fast and the boys were so much bigger than me and they could do what they wanted,” Rodney suppressed a shudder that matched anything a wraith queen could cause, and John wondered what it had been like for young Rodney. He felt suddenly protective. “Fighting back would have just got me hurt more. My life lesson was to run and to hide and to avoid and to listen to my fear.”

John winced in sympathy. He’d been a weedy kid until he hit late teens and soft enough that his queerness was assumed and attacked.

“And now here I am being taught to use a gun and I’m expected to be brave and I’m not. Not everyone is cut out to be a hero.” Rodney lifted his chin in that tell he had. John already knew him well enough to know it meant he was unsure of himself. “I don’t think I can choose to be something I’m not and I’m going to let you down if you expect me to be… like SG1 expected, took it for granted that I wouldn’t be afraid of accidentally blowing up the whole fucking mountain to save their teammate.”

“Whoa, wait, McKay… you are brave,” John couldn’t bear to hear him talking this way after what he’d done only hours before. “You were so brave today, when you walked into that thing...”

“No, I wasn’t. I was terrified, and I ran every calculation possible in my head and it was the only answer that would save all our collective asses. I was smart. There’s a difference.”

“No, I’m not buying that,” John said firmly. “I know what it’s like to be so scared that it takes a while to get your body to move in the direction you know it has to go. Knowing the right thing and doing it are not the same.”

“Major, with respect… nearly everyone around here but me and you is SGC stock. They’ve been given unreasonable expectations by the culture there. The civilian member of SG1 not only had a death wish from the moment his wife was taken, but also, he’s died more than once and recovered from it. People’s perceptions here are skewed and… Major, none of my scientists are replaceable,” Rodney was talking nineteen to the dozen, but John just held on and tried to keep up. “I can’t just recruit new people if something happens… I’m scared. Not just for me, for all the people I’m responsible for. We’re civilians. We’re here to do science. But I think the SGC folk expect us… what I did today. Assume that’s part of the job. That we would have any idea how to be heroes… as if we knew we’d be coming somewhere with monsters and…”

McKay was babbling and John realised the man was very pale. The sheen of sweat was more pronounced, and his hands were trembling more obviously.

“Hey, you don’t look so good, Rodney,” John said, worried about his friend. “I think this might be delayed shock. Let’s get your feet elevated…”

He pushed Rodney back onto the bed and put his pack under Rodney’s feet. Rodney’s eyes were suddenly lost and vague.

“I’m going to call Carson,” John said.

He already knew McKay was reputed to be a hypochondriac, so he was surprised when the man shook his head.

“No, don’ s’not… shug. Gimme sugar,” Rodney slurred.

John kept dextrose tablets in his emergency kit, so he pulled two out and gave them to Rodney. He remembered Rodney saying he had hypoglycaemia, but in all honesty, he hadn’t expected it to look like this. He’d kind of expected it to look like an excuse to eat chocolate.

Rodney closed his eyes. John was still debating whether to get Carson when the trembling began to lessen.

“Fuck,” was what came out of McKay’s mouth eventually. Rodney didn’t often swear, and it was somehow reassuring. “Sorry. I, er… may have been a little vomity before I came over… should’ve known it would mess with my blood sugar.”

“Rodney, like you said, you’re a civilian finding himself in an unimaginable situation. Nobody expects you to just take it all in your stride.” John fished out a power bar from his bedside table and handed it to him as he said this.

Rodney huffed, something like a laugh but without any humour attached. But he accepted the bar with a look of gratitude.

“Are you sure about that, Major?” he asked around the first mouthful.

John knew what Rodney meant about the SGC folk – they were damn weird in the way they saw things, like they’d just stepped out of some adventure book where wild things happen, but the day is always saved.

John was already facing the fact that this was no storybook, and they were going to lose people – important people. Like the goddamn man who actually knew how to command a bunch of Marines. And the truth was, he was crapping himself over the situation they found themselves in, and still coming to terms with the fact that he made things a million times worse by trying to stage a rescue and waking the wraith.

John tried not to think of those first few days too much, because he was liable to crawl out of his own skin when he did.

“I’ll protect you. All of you,” he said, because he thought that was what was expected, but much as he desperately wanted it to be true, he knew this wasn’t a storybook. His heart clenched painfully at the thought of something happening to Rodney.

“Dumbass,” Rodney said in between still slightly panicky breaths. “Go read the SGC reports and then come back and tell me who usually saves who. Spoilers: It’s science. It’s always science… still, I appreciate the thought. I believe you want that to be true.”

“Well, all I can say is I’ll do what it takes to have your back, then,” John said.

That response seemed to satisfy McKay. John also noticed his colour was returning, and he was less clammy.

“Can I just rest here a while?” Rodney said, his voice small and vulnerable. “It’s all been rather a lot.”

“Sure,” John said.

He looked down at Rodney’s slowly settling form and wanted to be tender, wanted to brush a hand down his cheek or stroke his brow, but real men didn’t do that – military men definitely didn’t do that. John tried to at least pass for what he was supposed to be. Not just a real man (whatever the hell one of those was) but the man.

Instead, he retrieved his pack and rolled out the bedroll next to his bed.

The first time he’d met Rodney McKay, the man had been larger-than-life, bundled up in an orange fleece that clashed with his startling blue eyes, so excited by John’s gene that he’d launched straight into the middle of their relationship before bothering with a beginning and it had been like that ever since.

They clicked. The man could be an ass, sure but John knew he was goodhearted, and soft in ways that John appreciated in this harsh reality. He realised his growing fondness for Rodney didn’t map onto what he was used to. For a start, Rodney didn’t seem to want to fuck John and that was the only kind of closeness with men that John was familiar with.

“Oh…I can’t let you sleep on the floor in your own room,” Rodney said. “I’ll go…”

“No, you won’t,” John said, making a split-second decision. “Shove over.”

He got into a position with Rodney that was just short of being big spoon, finding himself longing to press close and surprised to find McKay pressing back against him. He tensed, unsure what to do, even though he could tell Rodney wasn’t coming onto him.

“Don’t worry, your virtue is safe, Major,” Rodney muttered.

“Not sure I have any of that,” John retorted. If only McKay knew. “But for the record, so is yours.”

He let his body relax against Rodney’s, finding himself both mystified and enticed by the closeness. He momentarily let go of all the tension he was carrying and drifted into sleep.

#mcshep #sorta #sga #cw trauma #hypoglycemia #toxic masculinity at the sgc

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phoenix-flamed · 6 months

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To no one's surprise, I am indeed still awake, and I am back here on my phone to torment the sleepy Dash for a bit.

My Elwin was barely 22 when his father passed away. His mother, devastated by the loss of her husband, and feeling that her time to rule had come to its end, abdicated the throne shortly after, which left an equally as devastated Elwin to have to take the throne in her place.

The headcanon I have is that Anabella and Elwin weren't married until after Elwin's father had died, since there would have been no point to the union yet -- but once the man did pass away, everything happened in pretty rapid succession. Within days of the Archduchess stepping down, Elwin and Anabella had their marriage and coronation ceremonies, and thus did a new reign begin in Rosaria's history.

For all of their differing views on social matters, Elwin had damn near idolized his father, if he didn't outright do so. My headcanon is that the man was stricken with a sudden illness, which persisted throughout the night, and by the following morning, he was gone. It was abrupt, it was unexpected, and Elwin didn't really get a chance to grieve the loss. Suddenly, it was time for him to not just step up and take the position of Archduke of the duchy, but to also bid farewell to his secret relationship with Rodney and Hanna and become a husband to Anabella, and begin working with the new Duchess to have the next Phoenix Dominant, and all of this left Elwin feeling incredibly, incredibly lost and overwhelmed.

He'd known this day would come; in fact, he had been prepared for this day his entire life. But for all of his studying, and his traveling, and learning and training, and sitting in on political meetings and council sessions and receiving lessons in proper court etiquette and everything, everything that would be expected of him... When the moment finally became a reality, he didn't feel ready. He didn't feel prepared. Everything he had memorized meant nothing when he stood face to face with that marble and stone throne, that was now rightfully his.

People would address him as "Your Grace" now, even though in his mind, it was wrong -- that title belonged to his parents, not to him. And as many times as he had stood in the throne room, had knelt at the base of that throne in respect to the Archduchess and the Duke, neither that seat nor the room itself had ever looked so large, so empty, and so imposing as they did the first time he had entered there after assuming his new position.

Elwin was, in short, unsure of himself, feeling unprepared, and feeling alone without the guidance of his father. Even on the battlefield, he had always looked to his sire for guidance, and now, now it was his turn to lead, at Anabella's side.

Throughout the years following his father's death and everything that came immediately after, Elwin would always catch himself wishing that the man was still alive so that he could tell him the things he hadn't gotten the chance to, including goodbye. He also found himself wishing he was still alive so that he could seek out his council on a myriad of subjects, ranging from questions about being a ruler, to how best to be a kind and considerate husband, to eventually how to be a good father as well.

#Headcanons #It's 2 AM -- I don't even care how choppily written this is right now

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spurious · 10 months

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last line tag

Thanks @dedkake for tagging! 💖

I have two WIPs I’m working on pretty much concurrently at the moment, I’m just gonna post the latest lines for both of them cause…why not?

First we have Live Oak, With McShep #5 which I’m privately calling the Rodney is a Sad Lonely Bastard fic (he is!!!! he needs John ok) (alternately this could be called “now it’s Rodney’s turn to have a long and meandering tracking of his early development and relationship to his own sexuality and, more broadly, humanity” but that’s a bit too long so)

He passes the rest of the visit by going through boxes of his old stuff, volunteering for errands, and, when all else fails, making up work calls and obligations out of whole cloth.

Second, which I’m switching to when I get overwhelmed with the intensity of my feelings about Rodney and/or stressed about how that fic is going to be received, is called “Twenty Questions” and centers around Rodney asking John odd and sometimes invasive questions about his homosexuality. It’s a lighthearted comedy piece filled with inherent sadness

"Yeah, well, I dunno how much love enters into it.”

It looks like everyone who I know is writing something has been tagged but if not please do this!! I now feel motivated to work on my WIPs this morning!

#fic rambles #mcshep

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probably-a-plant-thing · 1 year

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*Bumps the glass of my fish tank*

I am here for the OC EMOJI ASK GAME

For Skulk: 💎👊👪☄️

For Marshall and Matthew: 🎭🔥☄️

For Rodney: ☁️

I hope this isn't too much. You don't have to answer all of them tho thank u luv u

OO BOI you have summoned a big boi post from me alright. Lets goo

SKULK

💎: How rich are they? Can they live the lifestyle they want to?

Skulk's family is pretty well off but he was cut off after killing most of his friend group. Though that was more by his request.

👊: Are they quick to violence?

YES. He had bad anger issues when he was a teen and while yeah, he's mellowed out a bit, he can get very violent when he's overwhelmed/overstimulated.

👪: What is their family like? What is your ocs relationship to them? Does your OC have any siblings?

Despite being cut off, Skulk has an ok relationship with his parents. They're very distant, having ignored a lot of Skulk's mental health issues growing up unless they could be medicated and paid off people so his violent outbursts wouldn't be put on records.

☄️: What do people assume about them? Are they right?

I couldn't think of anything, sorry boo :[

Holt Brothers

🎭: Do they act differently around certain people?

Very much so. At this point, the brothers only act like themselves around each other. Matthew used to be comfortable being himself around his wife but after she passed and he kinda spiraled. The personality difference is a lot more obvious with Marshall though, since he acts like he's just a born-again good boy Christian after being "attacked by the devil" around the townspeople. Then meanwhile he's draining people for shits n giggles.

🔥: Do they have any self-destructive tendencies? What habits do they have that hinder them from becoming their best self?

Matthew is a massive alcoholic, feeling like alcohol is one of the few things that can distract him from both his wife's death and Marshall being Marshall. Marshall has very little impulse control as a result of the minor brain damage he received from surviving his truck exploding. He also refuses to take any responsibility.

☄️: What do people assume about them? Are they right?

Most people see them as the good men Matthew wants them to be seen as. It's only partly true.

Rodney

☁️: a soft headcanon

He wants to figure out how to bring pets back to life because he wants to make people happy.

#ask game #oc asks #tumblr moots #skulk #matthew holt #marshall holt #rodney finch

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nimuetheseawitch · 11 months

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For ask game, directors cut of your Larrin x Jennifer fic 👀

You probably know some of this already, since you definitely encouraged me in writing this fic, but here's some behind-the-scenes commentary for Sinew and Satin (formerly titled Spread Sheets):

I put it below the cut because it got long and also the fic is smut, so of course it's nsfw.

It all started with watching "The Seed" a little close to watching Firefly. I wanted to incorporate some of what I love about Kaylee into a fic about Jennifer because she doesn't have a ton of characterization in the show - mostly things just happen to her or Rodney and Ronon are into her.

This, of course, led to the idea that with Jennifer's experience turning into a Wraith hive ship combined with her medical knowledge, she would make an excellent Wraith ship mechanic. And who would need a Wraith ship mechanic? Well, Larrin of course!

The basic premise became that Larrin would kidnap Jennifer to help her repair a Wraith ship, just like she kidnapped John for her Alterran ship. But, of course, Jennifer would respond completely differently. And I realized that Larrin would respond completely differently too - she tied up John (I mean, who wouldn't?) and tried to beat him into submission, but that's totally not going to work on Jennifer. I realized that when kidnapped, Jen will go along with things up to a point, but the best way to get her on board was to create a life-threatening situation (like Larrin and John teaming up to deal with the Wraith). I also tend to go on and on if I let myself try to explain the setup, so instead, we start with Jennifer up to her elbows in the hive ship, probably running low on oxygen because the life support systems are failing.

This also gave me a chance to explore her coping mechanisms - when shit happens to her, we see her panic in situations outside her comfort zone. But when it gets down to it, she's a brilliant doctor and seems to usually just need a shift in perspective to get into things.

I love the idea of her pulling kind of a Rodney and getting really bossy once she's in the zone. Yeah, she might be terrified, but once she's set on a task, it doesn't matter that her assisting surgeon is also her captor - she's gonna manhandle her and get shit done. And Larrin is into it. I headcanon Larrin as really into competence because she's had to fight for her position and part of being a good captain is recognizing the skills of your crew. So Larrin is definitely into it, even though they're covered in Wraith hive guts and fighting to breathe. And then, we move into Jen fainting into Larrin's arms like we're in a harlequin romance (pirate queen kidnaps brilliant young doctor, etc.), and a fade to black.

As we get into the sexy bits, I just really wanted to emphasize that Jennifer was a different kind of captive - she's not in a cell, she's in the captain's quarters, surrounded by the kinds of luxuries the Travellers can afford in a life in space. I also just wanted to have Jen naked on satin sheets (but it makes a surprising amount of sense in the plot).

My goal with the sex scene was to flip the script on the kinds of things we usually see with Larrin/John, where Larrin is so very dominant (or very tied up). Jennifer is often shown as nervous and young and kind of swept away by events, but we know she can be dominant and the instigator - supposedly she jumped Rodney on the private jet. So I wanted more of that to shine through. I wanted her to realize, oh shit, Larrin has the hots for me, and then take control. I wanted Larrin to be able to submit without being a prisoner - to get a chance to be overwhelmed and not in charge for once because she's the kind of person who always has to show how much she's in charge. But Jennifer can take care of that.

This was my first ever attempt at femslash, and it is by far the smuttiest I have written so far. I really wanted to focus on textures and make it sensual and drawn out. I felt like both Jen and Larrin deserved someone to really take their time touching them.

In contrast to how things worked out with John, I wanted them to have a romantic goodbye instead of an antagonistic one. I also couldn't resist her giving Larrin a really public goodbye kiss. I love the idea of Jennifer Keller, who lots of people think of as timid, taking this really dominant role with this otherwise incredibly dominant woman. And completely flabbergasting AR-1, who've heard plenty about John's experience. And I couldn't resist having her yell back at Larrin "Call me!"

Title notes: I had no idea what to call this, but "Spread Sheets" was suggested (by you) because I was writing this instead of doing my spreadsheet work, and I thought it was a great title for some smut. And it was, but a few days later, the title Sinew and Satin came to me late at night and then bugged me until I changed it.

I recently have been encouraged in my thoughts of potentially doing more Jennifer/Larrin (again, you are such a good smutstigator), so here are some brief ideas I've had:

As mentioned in the fic, Jennifer could be doing some wellness checks for the Traveller fleet on a friendly planet, and Larrin has some ideas for what Jennifer could do for her wellness

Larrin comes to Atlantis for whatever reason, and they end up doing a much kinkier scene with Jen in charge

Jen has a present for Larrin, and it's John, all tied up and ready to play with (Larrin is still a sub, but John is too)

I'm excited to play with them because they have so much potential. And I want to get better at writing f/f porn.

#thanks for asking!#director's commentary #my fic #sga #stargate atlantis #jennifer keller #larrin #jennifer keller x larrin #femslash

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wat-the-cur · 2 years

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Some Trigger headcanons, because I want to talk about him:

- Autistic (I think I may have mentioned this, before). - Trigger never minded being compared to a horse, in fact he always liked it, as he is fond of animals. However, when he heard someone compare his sister to a horse, he kicked their arse into next week without a second thought. - He did not initially dislike his Gran. She had always been a miserable, mean old bird when he was growing up, but she made sure he was taken care of and was fiercely protective of him. Unfortunately she did not have that same relationship with his sister. They were always argumentative, but as Trigger’s Sister aged, their Gran seemed to pick more and more fights with her. Trigger would get so upset by their arguing, sometimes going into meltdown from the stress. Trigger’s Sister ended up hating their Gran. She got pregnant and married as quickly as she could, and never spoke to Gran again, after moving out. The driving away of his sister was what made Trigger cold towards his Gran, far more than her cheating on his Grandad ever did. - Trigger almost never goes to the barbers. Growing up, his Gran would cut his hair, as he felt uncomfortable letting anyone else do it. This was why it was much shorter at the beginning of the series, his Gran was still cutting it, and he had to fight her for every inch he wanted left. After his Gran passed on, Trigger’s Sister started cutting his hair for him, and let him have a more modern style. - He had migraines as a kid, and had frequent days off school with them. Even now, he gets headaches easily. - I feel like the inflatable dolphin he got in Margate was a sort of an on the go comfort item to stop him from getting overwhelmed. So, him losing it after everything went wrong did feel pretty serious to him. - Lisa is Trigger’s pride and joy. He adores that girl. Not only did her husband, Andy get a talk from Lisa’s Mum, but from her Uncle Trigger as well. Had Trigger actually found out about Del and Rodney’s competition for her, he would have stopped it short. - When she was little, Lisa believed her Uncle Trigger was the tallest person in the world. Once, when they were at Del’s flat, Del offered to lift her up to the cupboard to get a biscuit. Lisa happily turned him down, proclaiming that only her Uncle Trigger could lift her that high. - Trigger moves very slowly and deliberately, because he was always being told off for being clumsy as a child. - Trigger very rarely has meltdowns. He often has shutdowns, or overloads, but meltdowns are few and far between. As a result, the lads did not even know he had them for many years. The only two of Trig’s mates to really see him meltdown, were Rodney and Denzil. It was at a party, at The Nag’s Head. Rodney was running around with a girl, looking for somewhere to have some private time and they found Trigger, hiding and crying in the dark, empty dancehall. Rodney was scared, he had never expected to see Trigger like that in his life. He ran for Del, but found Denzil first. Denzil was equally as baffled and worried as Rodney, but managed to keep calm and sit with Trigger in the pitch black. He comforted him, and waited until he could get some small communication from him. He gave Trigger his hat to block out the noise as they left the pub. He drove Trigger home and stayed the night. - Trigger is sometimes non-verbal. He was non-verbal when he was properly introduced to Corinne, after she and Denzil married. He thought she was lovely and felt a bit embarrassed about not being able to talk to her. However, she did not treat him any differently, and ended up telling him about her new canary, after seeing him watching it. - Trigger got to have a little bit of a crush on Corinne, but he never expressed it to her. He loves Denzil, and he genuinely wanted his marriage to be a good one. He was almost as sorry as Denzil, when Corinne left him. - Trigger is not in the habit of sleeping with married women, but about mid series he had a brief affair with Marlene. It was Marlene who initiated, having grown frustrated and depressed over Boycie and the possibility of never having a child with him. Trigger was available, safe and familiar, and Marlene attempted to get pregnant by him. That was the first time, anyway. The other three times were just for fun and comfort, really, for both of them. When Marlene realised how hard Boycie was trying with this baby business, though, she felt bad and ended the affair. Trigger, despite the fact he never much like Boycie, still considered him a mate and readily agreed to end things. He never knew about Marlene’s original plan, but when he danced with Marlene at Rodney and Cassandra’s wedding, he asked her if the baby could be his. Marlene told him it was impossible, as their affair had ended a good two years prior.

- Some of Trigger’s stims include running a hand through his hair, swaying and rocking, echolalia, pressing his hands into his pockets, stroking his clothes, bouncing his legs, staring, chewing, and listening to the same singles on repeat.

- He loves sci fi programmes, even when he does not really understand what is going on. He is an avid watcher of Star Trek, Blake’s 7, UFO, Sapphire & Steel, Babylon 5 and The X-Files. He also watched a lot of those creepy children’s miniseries throughout the 70s and 80s. - Trigger is one of those people you almost never see eat. He almost always refuses food when offered. But, then you sit down with him on some special occasion, like Christmas, and you’ll see him eat three platefuls and two desserts without breaking a sweat. - Trigger love bovril. His grandparents would always have him drink it after a bad day, so he finds it comforting.

- Trigger is a friend to all the rats and pigeons he sees, while sweeping the road.

#only fools and horses #trigger (only fools and horses)#colin “trigger” ball #headcanons #british sitcom #80s sitcom

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sous-le-signe-de-la-lune · 1 year

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APRIL WRAP UP ☆

Season's Change by Cait Nary

3.5 ☆

I follow a few people who have read the book, and I was intrigued. It was a quick read, a little bit angsty but also soft at the same time. - loved the focus on mental health and support net, i think it was well done because the support they received came from family, friends (old and new), therapists and their coach. - it was also great to see the importance of friendship and trust as their relationship evolved. I don't have the words yet to explain their dynamic, but i think it was one of the best aspect of the book - Benji took the time to figure out his sexuality and it was very drama free, i loved that, for him it was more "hey fun fact i'm bi" and it was interesting. - on another hand i feel like the ending was rushed, i think it could have benefited from another chapter to see them discuss what happened - i could not for the life of me understand their careers and their teammates names because all the information happened so fast. It didn't take away from my enjoyment of the book, but sometimes it was confusing

Heart Haunt Havoc by Freydis Moon

3.5 ☆

HEART, HAUNT, HAVOC is full of the long-lasting grief that can haunt your heart and your house, but it's also a soft story about two lost persons who find a common goal and maybe more. It's a well crafted short story with two mysterious main characters whose past weight on them. But slowly, they reveal themselves. t4t romance mean everything to me and I liked Colin and Bishop together but because everything happened so fast, I wasn't that into their romance (or the story tbh) but I hope they will be more developed in the next book. I'm also very interested in Colin's backstory with the Church and his powers. I don't agree with people who said Colin and Bishop's transidentity were not discussed in the book, I think it was still very present while not being the main focus of the story. It's a part of them but they're much more than that and that's what the narrative shows us. Speaking of the narrative, I wonder if Colin / Lincoln were names chosen to represent the duality of what someone could become, especially someone closed to Bishop. That, and the title were a clever aspect of the book.

Save the Date by Morgan Matson

4 ☆

SAVE THE DATE was as fun as I expected, even if I struggled to get into the story at first, I couldn't put it down because the chaos was that entertaining. But it was sometimes overwhelming because a lot is going on at the same time (and if anything like that were to happen to me I wouldn't react like them).

i loved that it isn't a romance (but there is a romance subplot) because the focus of the story is on the Grant family and the dynamics between the siblings. i wanted to know more about them, especially Mike but it makes sense that we don't know everything because the book is told through Charlie's pov, and she is blindsided by the love that she has for her family. Which was an interesting part of her growth as a character, because she learned to be more equal to her siblings, and she also learned to call them out when needed. I also liked that Rodney, their future brother-in-law has been part of the family for years and they have a lot of inside jokes and traditions with him. And as always, the easter eggs were nice

my goodreads

#mine #wrap up #book wrap up #monthly wrap up #books #season's change #cait nary #heart haunt havoc #freydis moon #save the date #morgan matson #goodreads challenge #book review

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nephilimeq · 1 year

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Ten Fics, One Line

Thank you @evanesdust!

Pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the midpoint, pick a line* and share it! Then tag 10 people to do the same.

*No one’s gonna be mad if you go with more than one line.

1. How Did It End Up Like This (Stargate Atlantis)

John leaned in the doorway, shoulder digging into the frame, hands tucked in his pockets, a slightly amused grin on his lips at seeing the usually indomitable Rodney looking much more frail and yet, at the same time, much more defiant with his jaw now more sharply defined, along with a shock of surprisingly thick dirty blond hair falling over his eyes, giving him an entirely different attitude. He was less of an obstinate adult and more of a rebellious teenager, and the difference was rather striking. He sat on the edge of the hospital bed, his oversized pants gaping a bit at the waist, while the ill-fit shirt he had on pulled to one side, showing off an expanse of pale skin, his neck and collarbone on display in an almost obscene fashion, once more emphasizing the cut of his jaw as he swallowed and nervously stared down at the needle Beckett put into his arm.

2. Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let It Snow (Stargate SG1)

Daniel sat in one corner of the couch with his legs sprawled across the cushions, his feet resting in Jack’s lap, who was absently running a hand over his lower leg, strong and calloused fingers rubbing against the bit of bare skin just above his ankles.

3. Black and White Memories (Teen Wolf)

He remembered what the days, weeks, and months were like after losing most of his family. The trauma took a while to settle in. At first you thought you just didn’t feel anything, you just felt numb, as if nothing affected you; almost as if you were in a bubble that made everything distant and muffled. And then, for no reason at all, it just hit you--like a punch to the gut--and the bubble popped and everything simply crashed around you, and you could no longer function the way that you had been. Suddenly everything felt overwhelming and too much and every little thing would set you off.

4. I’ve Heard It One Way (Psych)

Lassiter snapped.

"Why do you have to treat this relationship like it's one of your playthings? You're like a child! You do not have the right to throw my heart on the ground when you're tired of playing with it and then pick it back up when you're bored! Our relationship is not a toy!"

He gasped for air after his outburst and suddenly realized that the heat he felt on his cheeks was tears. Fuck, he was crying.

5. A Hundred Years (It Certainly Fucking Feels Like It) (The Witcher)

Every time Jaskier sunk into a bath, he felt as if a dragon inside of him was purring with contentment at the heat that should have been too much for him, the steam curling around his fingers and thighs, as if trying to pull him in. He didn't need to be pulled, he thought to himself as he quickly dunked his head and came up with a shuddering gasp, running his fingers through his hair, combing it back from his face. It sunk into his aching limbs, his knees and back already easing their pains at the heat that tried its best to reach inside of him.

6. What River Saw (Doctor Who)

She smiled as she remembered that look, that “swag” as they called it, in how he could arch an eyebrow in your direction or cock his hip, with that ridiculous red thing on his head, and put out his hand and have you convinced that you were in no danger whatsoever by being with him, and that you were entirely safe and about to go off into a universe that was a wonderful playground that held nothing but sweet promises and that, somehow, he made sure that you were the center of it all...

…but she had never seen him like this.

7. During the Victory Tour (The Hunger Games)

However, I think of three nights before, when Haymitch stepped into my room. Unlike Peeta, he had not hesitated and had simply walked over to me and held me, not bothering to ask what was wrong or if he was even wanted. He simply knew what to do. And in that moment I think we both understood something profound. Once the Games change you, they change you for the rest of your life…and broken souls can only understand those who are broken.

8. Hello, Goodbye (Harry Potter)

With careful fingers, he slowly rolled up her sleeve and let out a low hiss at what he saw. It wasn’t the deep and disturbing red that it used to be, but it was still slightly hideous to look at. The words were raised in pinkish white scars across her forearm, still easily read: mudblood. And across the whole word were long white scars, raised and crisscrossed over her skin, from where she had gone after it with a razor, trying to strip the words off. Obviously, a failed attempt.

Severus then cautiously pressed a fingertip to the scars, and she shivered, but allowed him to trace the lines over her skin, noticing how his other hand gently cupped her elbow, as if making sure that she wouldn’t pull away from him, even though that was the furthest thing from her mind.

9. Longboard (Supernatural)

Whenever Dean surfed, there was an edge to it, as if he was about to explode from his board at any second, with an almost wild, manic energy. But with Cas, however, his movements when he was on a board were smooth and languid, like he knew a rhythm that no one else could feel, almost as if he had been born in the ocean, somehow explaining how his eyes were always the same color as the water he was surfing through, whether it was the tropical blue of Hawaii, or the stormy gray-blue of the North Atlantic.

10. Sansa and the Sellsword (Game of Thrones)

Bronn, still on the ground, stared at Sansa, and was astounded at the picture she made in front of him: her hair was still wet, and blood and water dripped freely down her fully exposed body in equal parts, still sticky and red in her hair and across her lips and throat, but smeared into a diluted pink over her hips and thighs.

#stargate atlantis #stargate sg1 #psych #teen wolf #the witcher #doctor who #the hunger games #harry potter #supernatural #game of thrones #nephilimeq #ten fics one line #ten fics

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roninkairi · 2 years

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Game Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles- Shredder's Revenge

For many of us who grew up in the 80s, there was many animated shows that we could never get enough of, one of them being Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Originally starting as a gritty, violent black and white comic created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, the series became immensely popular when it was adapted into a kids cartoon and debuted in 1987. The show’s popularity was enough to spawn various video game adaptations over the following years from Konami, the arcade games being the most notable and popular. Arguably the most successful of the games was the SNES version of Turtles in Time and since then, game developers have had difficulty replicating the same type of formula that made the arcade games so fun to play, the most egregious examples being Turtles in Time Reshelled, Out of the Shadows and Mutants in Manhattan, which was based on the current IDW comic series.

But now there is hope. After making a return to gaming in “Nickelodeon All Star Brawl”, the full team returns to top form in “Shredder’s Revenge”. Published by Dotemu and developed by Tribute Games (comprised of team members who had worked on “Scott Pilgrim vs The World The Game”), the game goes back to it’s arcade side scrolling roots and does it well, [opting to go for the retro 16 bit look, but animated very well. The game is not connected to any of the past games but the inspiration is clearly there, as there are small nods and easter eggs spread out throughout the game. There are even shoutouts to the first NES game; the overhead map resembles the original game’s overworld screens.

The game’s story is as simple as it can get; Shredder and Krang are creating havoc throughout the city and seem to be targeting the Statue of Liberty. (Apparently, they wanted to beat COBRA to the punch before they could bomb it) and once again, it’s up to the Turtles to take them down. However, unlike other games in the series you are no longer confined to using just the 4 turtles; this time you can also fight as April O’Neil, Master Splinter and Casey Jones (unlocked after beating the game once). Your choice of which character to play as affects your playstyle as each of the 6 have particular strengths and weaknesses to discover (Leo is the most rounded of the group while Mikey and April are freaking combo MACHINES) The game is split into Arcade and Story mode. Story mode plays out similar to the aforementioned Scott Pilgrim game- as you play and earn points you can level up and gain access to more moves, extra lives and super meter. Each character has 3 different types of super moved to use that can clear a crowd in a hurry and can be built up either by kicking a whole lot of ass or by taunting, the latter which can be exploited a lot when there is no enemies to fight. There are also a variety of combo moves, anti airs, dive attacks and roll escapes to use in order to rack up combo strings, daring the most dexterous of gamers to outdo themselves. Arcade mode plays exactly like it sounds: You have all your moves opened up to you but you have limited continues to use.

The levels are mostly linear left to right beat em up style fights, with a couple of them auto scrolling vehicle based. Most of the game will take you to places from the cartoon series, from the opening level Channel 6 to the sewers and eventually, Dimension X and the Technodrome. You can also be assured that the Foot Clan will not make it easy on you; just like the games of old there are certain types of Foot Clan soldiers that will cause you to switch up strategies on the fly or overwhelm you with numbers. Throw in various types of Mousers, Triceritons, Rock Soldiers, Roadkill Rodneys and even Pizza Monsters while you’re at it. The bosses are no slouches either: while it’s a foregone conclusion you will have to deal with Rocksteady and Bebop, did you think that you would also be dealing with, of all villians, TEMPESTRA?

Better question: does anyone remember her? (Most likely you don’t. Look up the episode “Leonardo vs. Tempestra”) It also helps that not only is there voice acting, there is voice acting from the original voices of the Turtles themselves.

The game’s soundtrack is a banger as well; composed by Tee Lopes, there are tracks also from various other artists like Mike Patton, Jonny Atma and most notably, Ghostface Killah and Raekwon which has to be heard to be believed. (Really, it sounds like a Shredder vs TMNT Rap Battle) The game also features local and online play for up to 6 players (at the time of this review there is an issue with the PS4 edition that limits it to 4)

If there’s any gripe I have about the game, it’s the length and lack of post game content. The only real challenge after the game is finished is to try to do all of the achievements in Story Mode (good luck trying to not get hit on stage 16…) or to beat the game on higher difficulty modes. But the game plays well enough to warrant repeated game sessions, especially with friends (or strangers) and that’s what’s most important in a game like Shredder’s Revenge. The game is a back to basics brawler that reminds many game veterans what made the previous older games fun why introducing a new generation to a play style that they can really enjoy. If you want a game to play that is awesome both solo or with friends, Shredder’s Revenge is a optimal choice.

…oh and for the record if anyone ever wants to play with me, I call dibs on April.

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #shredder's revenge

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luluxa · 3 years

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#mcshep #sga #stargate atlantis #rodney mckay #john sheppard #joe flanigan #david hewlett #stargate #rodney is a bit overwhelmed #which is understandable

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make-me-imagine · 3 years

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All That Matters

30 Day Writing Challenge Day 14 - 'Proposal'

Pairing: John Sheppard x G!N Reader

Warnings: Mentions of injuries, weapons fire, and blood.

Word Count: 1.7k

General Taglist: @criminaly-supernatural, @caswinchester2000 Stargate Taglist: @hybrid-omegaverse Requested Taglist: @techssexythighs, @spuffyfan394

**Made the ring kind of vague, so it could be like a normal engagement ring, or one of the simple bands with a stone set within it, rather than on top.

As John opened up the drawer, he felt a nervous flutter in his stomach. Rifling through to the bottom, he felt his hand touch a small box. Grabbing it and pulling it out, he let out a breath of relief, as though he was afraid it might have suddenly been gone. It was a dark blue velvet box, and inside was a silver ring, and at the center, your favorite gemstone. He had bought it a few weeks prior, but was still unsure of when or how he would ask you.

He thought maybe on your upcoming anniversary, but that was still a few months away, and he really didn’t want to wait that long. He had decided a long time ago that he wanted to marry you, and spend the rest of his life as your loving husband. He made himself wait until he could get the right ring, and now that he had it, he didn’t want to wait much longer.

Part of him was afraid he already waited too long, and that you were growing tired of waiting for him. But he brushed away that thought, knowing you well enough that you would never care that much as to leave him for that. You loved him, and he loved you.

Hearing his watch beep a few times, he looked down at the time. The team had a mission in 15 minutes. Closing the box, he placed it back in the drawer, covering it with his shirts before leaving to meet the rest of the team.

“Ready, Sir?” You asked as John walked into the room, now dressed in his tactical gear.

He peered at you out of the corner of his eye and you smirked. Lining up next to you as you faced the gate he nodded “I’m ready if you are, Major.” He spoke with the same candor as you, and as he saw you smile out of the corner of his eye, he felt his own smirk form. His mind flashing back briefly to the ring before the gate opened, bringing him back to the task at hand.

- - - - -

“Back to the gate, go!” He yelled as he carried you in his arms towards the gate, Teyla and Ronan covering him as he ran.

He looked down at your unconscious face and felt his chest clench tightly, an overwhelming fear taking over as he saw the blood soaking through your clothes.

The people on the planet had come across civil at first, but turned on the team the second they felt threatened. No one got a chance to explain anything before they began to fire on the team. Ronan was grazed in the shoulder first, before they fired at you, hitting you in your stomach.

Now as they ran towards the gate, being chased by a number of people, he thought of nothing but getting you all out of there, and getting you to Beckett.

Ducking down behind some rocks as Rodney dialed the gate, John looked back down at you, brushing stray hair from your face. Your eyes opened a bit as you looked up at him and he smiled at you, trying to convey that you would be okay. But you could see the fear in his eyes “Hey, we’re gonna get you back to Beckett, you’re gonna be alright, just hold on okay?” He spoke to you softly, trying to ignore the shots from Ronan and Teyla beside him.

You nodded as much as you could before you felt your eyes close again. You could hear the sound of gunfire and yelling, as well as John’s voice calling out to you, but as hard as you tried, you couldn’t keep your eyes open. And finally, you found yourself succumbing to the darkness.

- - - - -

It had been three days now since John got you back through the gate, and you had yet to wake up. So those two days, to him, felt like eternity. Beckett was positive you would make a full recovery, but only if you woke up, you had lost a lot of blood. You had been lucky, had he gotten you back any later, you very well could have died.

John sat at your hospital bedside, watching you closely as he fiddled with the ring box in his hands. He couldn’t get it out of his head. What if he had been too late? Not just in getting you back to the base, to Beckett. But too late in asking you to marry him. If you had died, he would never have truly known if you would say yes. He would never get to experience a life with you as his spouse.

He knew the job was dangerous, and you both had been hurt before. You both knew the challenges and risks. So why did this feel so different?

“Is that what I think it is?” Becketts voice asked softly from the door.

John looked up and saw Beckett looking at the ring box in his hand. He looked at it, and then back to Beckett. He nodded, “Yeah.” He said softly.

Beckett smiled as he walked closer “How long have you been holding onto it?”

“A couple of weeks.” he let out a sigh “I kept wondering when the right time to ask might be, and now...I almost lost the chance entirely.”

Beckett glanced at you and smiled sadly before looking back to John “But you’ll have the chance when Y/n wakes up. And they will John.” He said encouragingly.

John nodded and looked at Beckett, smiling, “Yeah, I know. And I’m gonna ask as soon as they do. I don’t want to risk losing the chance again.”

Beckett nodded while looking over at you, “Well now is that chance.” He said as he walked over to you.

John frowned, confused before looking over at you. As he saw your eyes begin to slowly open he straightened up a bit. “Y/n.” He muttered.

As your eyes opened all the way, you looked around a bit. Beckett smiled down at you “Welcome back Y/n.”

“Beckett.” You greeted, a bit confused “Where’s J-.” You began to ask before glancing over and seeing him as he took your hand in his. “John.” You said with relief.

“I’m here sweetheart. You’re alright, everythings alright.”

You nodded and let out a sigh “That was a close one.”

“Yeah no kidding.” John said with a breathy chuckle.

Beckett began to check you over as you began to wake up fully, sitting up, with only a few winces from pain. “Alright, everything seems fine. You feeling alright?”

You smiled at him. “I feel lousy.”

He let out a chuckle “Well that is expected, but otherwise, any pain?” You shook your head and he smiled “Good good. Uhh-” He looked over at John “I’ll leave you two alone for a bit.” He gave John a knowing look and smile before leaving.

John took a deep breath before looking at you, keeping your hand tight in his as he set the ring box on his lap. Bringing your hand to his face, he pressed a kiss to the back of your hand. You smiled at him as you saw the worry on his face. Reaching over, you ran your hand down his face, making him smile.

“You had me scared there for a minute, well actually a lot of minutes.”

“How long has it been?”

“Three days, give or take.”

“Wow.” You said with a nod “You’ve been here the whole time haven’t you?” You asked, a hint of ridicule in your voice.

He raised his brow and shrugged his shoulders slightly “Maybe.”

You both chuckled, and John brought up your hand to his face, kissing the back of your hand once again. Looking at him, you could see something in his eyes. He wanted to say something but he was holding back.

“What’s wrong? What aren’t you telling me?”

John let out a chuckle “How is it you always see right through me?”

You smiled a bit “Because I love you, and have known you for too long not too.” You paused for a moment “So what is it?”

John remained silent for a moment as he tried to choose what to say, finally, he let out a sigh and stared at you, gripping your hand a bit tighter “I almost...lost the chance to do something I’ve been wanting to do for years now.”

You cocked your head a bit and frowned “Do what?”

You watched as John took one of his hands away, disappeared for a moment under the bed. And when it came back up, he was holding a blue velvet box. The moment your eyes set on it, you felt your heart beat rapidly in your chest.

“To do this.” He said as he took his other hand away now, and opened the box, revealing an engagement ring set with your favorite stone. “I’ve been killing myself trying to come up with the right things to say, and the right time to do it. But when I almost lost you, I realized that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that we are together. And that we can be together for the rest of our lives. And for the rest of my life, I want to be your husband. So, will you marry me Y/n L/n?”

As he spoke, tears had begun to form in your eyes. You felt your heart swell with excitement and happiness. You had dreamed of the day you would get to marry him, though you never pressured the idea of it. And now as he was asking you, you couldn’t be happier with the idea.

“Oh John.” You said with a small laugh as a tear escaped and slid down your face “I want nothing more than to marry you.”

John let out an excited chuckle as he felt tears brimming as well. Taking your hand, he slid the ring onto your finger, and you let out a giddy chuckle. Looking at each other, John got up and sat on the side of your bed, before leaning in for a kiss. Gently grabbing his face, you met him in the kiss, forgetting everything around you as you embraced the pure joy racing through both of you.

xx End xx

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