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#said my truth and peace to those who matter?
ursie · 5 months
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Brennan’s statement on Palestine :
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[ ID: Statement from Brennan Lee Mulligan, on Instagram. It consists of three black squares with plain white text. The text reads as follows:
"I'm calling on my government officials to immediately demand a ceasefire and de-escalation in Gaza.
I applaud anyone and everyone calling for peace, with the understanding that real peace only exists if it deeply and honestly accounts for and fully ends violence in all its forms. Real peace addresses and corrects wrong-doing in the past and guards against it in the future. It goes hand in hand with justice and requires truth, restoration, reconciliation, reparation.
Peace cannot co-exist with collective punishment, ethnic cleansing and forced displacement. It cannot co-exist with blockades, embargoes, or with 2.2 million people, half of which are children, trapped with no hope of escape or political recourse. it cannot co-exist with murdered journalists, bombed hospitals, or years of protesters being shot and killed at the border. it cannot co-exist with illegal settlements, segregated roads, and the silent, imperial chill that settles over the gaps in the violence - the unspoken geopolitical consensus that a group of people need to unflinchingly accept permanent subjugation and occupation.
My hear breaks for every Israeli person who lost loved ones during the attacks of October 7th. It breaks for every Ukrainian person who has lost their loved ones. It breaks for every Congolese person who has lost their loved ones. I do not speak on behalf of Palestinians now because some lives are worth more than others. I speak on their behalf because I, and all Americans, have a responsibility to pressure our government because we are responsible for this. Some have said that this situation is complicated. The Unites States government clearly disagrees. It has definitively, categorically, militarily chosen a side, and I do not agree with that decision.
In wiring this, I have been wrestling with what I am sure many people like me wrestle with: There is a powerful narrative surrounding violence in the Middle East that asserts and ever-moving goalpost of self-education and study in order to even be qualified to have an opinion. As someone with a love of research, I have at times in my life fallen into the trap that I am not educated enough clever enough, or aware enough to have a worthwhile perspective, and that three more articles and two more lectures and one more book will do the trick. Unfortunately, democracy doesn't work that way - we, the citizens of any democracy, cannot possibly be experts on every aspect of the policies of our governments, and yet if we do not constantly weigh in an make our voices heard, the entire experiment falls apart. Not only do people constantly doubt themselves and the things they can see with their own two eyes, but old shortcuts for political action can fall apart as well: This specific issue exists along a raw, charged and unique faultline in American Politics. Nobody I grew up with has ever challenged me on my support for abortion rights, LGBT rights, Black Lives Matter, anti-capitalism, anti-fascism, none of it. The people in my country who would despise me for those positions are, for all intents and purposes, strangers to me. But there are people who I've broken bread with and shared honest affection with who will see the words I've written here and incorrectly conclude that I do not wish for the security, dignity and happiness of them and their loved ones, and that breaks my fucking heart. Full-throatedly condemning the actions of the Israeli government while battling rampant anti-semitism at home is an urgent moral necessity, and doing so is made unnecessarily challenging for the average person to navigate by the pointed obfuscations of cynical opportunists, bigots, and demagogues on all sides of the political spectrum who see some advantage in sowing that incredibly dangerous confusion.
So, I'm calling my representatives. I'm having hard conversations with friends and family. I'm here, talking to you. I should have done it sooner. If you're Israeli and hurt by this statement, know that I want freedom, dignity, security and peace for you, and that every ounce of my political awareness believes whole-heartedly that the actions of your government are not only destroying innocent lives, but doing so to the detriment of you and your loved ones' safety. If you're American and feel lost and confused - I understand and empathize. This, the whole country, only works when we get involved. I am constantly haunted by the specter that maybe I missed some crucial piece of information on this, or any, important world event. I'll just have to make my peace with that self-doubt and trust my gut by going with Jewish Voice for Peace, Amnesty International, the Geneva Conventions, the United Nations, etc. And if you're Palestinian and reading this: I unreservedly support your right to life, to freedom, to happiness and human flourishing, to full enfranchisement and equal rights, to opportunity, prosperity and abundance, to the restoration of stolen property and land, and to a Free Palestine." End ID ]
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i-aint-even-bovvered · 3 months
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On Jewish Anger
Well, I said I was going to make this post. I also know that I'm going to get hate for this, and I'm just going to have to deal with it.
In December of 2019, I made a post that got a couple hundred notes, and it was talking about Jewish fear. I stand by what I wrote then, and I still think most goyim don't understand, but I want to talk about something else.
Anger is less palatable than fear. And yet they go hand in hand for me, for my family, for so much of our community. There is a tacit understanding here. "They will come for us, one day," we say. "They will come to kill us, as they always do. And we will fight." There is fear behind those sentiments, but also anger, because we know it is the truth and we know that we have little choice in the matter. We are taught that it happens in every generation, and that is because, demonstrably, it has.
But it's not polite to talk about it. I can't express it to people who don't know. Non-Jews won't understand, because this type of anger needs an object. It needs someone to be angry with. But you can't say that. Because you're not "allowed" be angry at those groups of people.
The Romans? They're gone. It's laughable to hold such anger at a group of people no longer around.
The multitude of Arab countries that expelled us or killed the remainder? Well, if I mention that, then I must be an Islamophobe.
What about Christians, who spent millennia ghettoizing us and making sure we could never own anything for very long? If I start expressing that anger, I might as well tie my own noose!
And don't forget that there is never a "right" time to talk about antisemitism. There's always something much more important to talk about. And they say that antisemitism isn't even really a big problem. They say "Jews are white" so we don't face discrimination. They conveniently forget that, not only are there Jews of Color, but even light-skinned European-looking Jews have never been considered "white" until fairly recently, and that recent change was only so it was easier to paint us as oppressors. So now that we're trying to talk about antisemitism on a national scale (I'm talking about the US because that is where I live) because there have been multiple incidents all around the country, people are trying to say that it's "Zionist propaganda."
Have any of you considered that, maybe, just maybe, we are also human beings who want to live in peace?
I'm kidding myself. Of course you haven't.
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Reacting and taking care of their S/O who, due to some accident, ended up shrinking in size, to the point where they can carry them with the palm of their hands.
Genshin Girls: Beidou, Noelle, Eula, Shenhe, Ganyu, Shogun Ei and Yae Miko.
(Genshin Impact) Beidou, Noelle, Eula, Shenhe, Ganyu, Ei, and Yae's S/O getting shrunk down
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(Beidou) "How did you...? Bah, it doesn't matter. I'll get ya fixed up in no time, S/O!"
Beidou has no idea what caused S/O to become so tiny, but she won't rest until they're back to normal!
Though truth be told, Beidou just thought that S/O being tiny was a result of her being drunk off her ass.
While she does find it cute that she can carry them in her palm, she doesn't actually do so due to how much she talks with her hands, or in general just moves them.
She's afraid she's going to crush them based on pure muscle movement.
Instead, S/O rests comfortably on the back of her coat, near her neck, at least when they're moving.
Beidou has a bird cage in her room that she bought and adorned it with soft feathers.
(S/O) "...This makes me feel like a pet."
(Beidou) "Do you wanna be on the wooden floors of the Crux instead?"
At least this was temporary. Her first order of business is to get Ningguang to help out with this problem.
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(Noelle) "My goodness, what happened to you?!"
Noelle is terribly confused, but she immediately sets off to find help, S/O safely in her palms all the while.
She becomes hyper aware of her grip strength and where S/O is, afraid that they would get hurt, crushed, stepped on, or all sorts of dangerous things!
Noelle goes to find Sucrose, Albedo, or Lisa, preferably all three so they could explain what happened!
She also becomes hyper defensive of anyone holding S/O, her palms shielding them as she turns her entire body away from said person.
(Noelle) "Ah, please do not touch S/O! They are in a very precarious state!"
(S/O) "Uh, Noelle? I still need to be able to see-"
(Noelle) "Please bear with me, it would give me peace of mind if you are wholly incapable of being harmed!"
(S/O) "If I were in anyone else's hands, I would've doubted that."
That comment makes Noelle beam with pride.
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(Eula) "When I said that my vengeance would dwarf your entire being...I did not mean it literally."
(S/O) "Yes yes, very funny Eula. Now can you put me down? You holding me with two fingers just feels like I'm a grape or something."
Honestly? Eula finds the situation hilarious. Her teasing goes up tenfold when S/O is extremely tiny like this.
If they try to give her any lip, she'll just pull the-
(Eula) "How can you make such threats when you are the size of my thumb, S/O?"
-card.
Eula will ask Amber or the Traveler for help, and while she is concerned for S/O, there is a smile on her face whenever she looked at them.
A pocket S/O was very cute to her.
(Eula) "Would you like to go to Dragonspine with me in this state, S/O?"
(S/O) "What, you planning on turning me into a popsicle?"
(Eula) "That is an excellent idea!"
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(Shenhe) "...You are tiny."
(S/O) "Really? I haven't noticed, Shenhe..."
Shenhe figured this is something that the Adepti can help her with.
In all her life, she had never encountered a situation as bizarre as her current predicament.
If Noelle was possessive of tiny S/O, then Shenhe is borderline yandere.
Those who seem to mean harm to her tiny significant other will be met with a violent and bloody end.
One which S/O's voice can be frantically heard coming out of her palms, begging her to stand down.
Hopefully her master, Cloud Retainer, can bring S/O back to normal.
(Shenhe) "Are you resting comfortably?"
(S/O) "I am but...resting on your chest is kind of...strange."
(Shenhe) "But you do so all the time."
(S/O) "It's one thing for me to rest my head on it, Shenhe, and an entirely different situation for me to literally sit on it!"
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(Ganyu) "S-S/O! Are you okay, how did this happen? Don't worry, we'll get some help right away!"
Ganyu immediately defers to Cloud Retainer for bringing S/O back to normal.
But when she's told it'd take a few days before the rite would happen, Ganyu takes S/O with her at all times.
At work, S/O is sitting at her desk while she catches up on her neverending paperwork.
S/O has a plate with flowers to sit on as they watch her work.
In some strange fashion...Ganyu quite liked this.
It allowed S/O to be with her during work so she didn't feel entirely stressed.
Though the threat of S/O being blown away or crushed gave her a whole new level of stress.
(S/O) "Careful, Ganyu. You're sweating enough that it's threatening to splash on me."
(Ganyu) "R-REALLY?!"
(S/O) "A-ah, it was just a joke! Though, I guess not anymore with how you shot straight up like that...!"
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(Ei) "...You did not tell me you were capable of this, S/O."
(S/O) "It's because I'm not!"
Ei decides to find out what happened to S/O herself, and leaves them in the most capable hands.
Also herself.
The Raiden Shogun stands unflinchingly on guard, meditating until Ei's return as S/O is sitting in her palm.
(S/O) "...Can I get something to eat?"
(Raiden) "Sara. Retrieve a bowl of rice at once."
(Sara) "Yes, Almighty Shogun!"
S/O awkwardly fidgets with their hands.
(S/O) "Can I move?-"
(Raiden) "No."
Meanwhile, Ei lets S/O sit on her finger like a bird, though they have a much harder time balancing themselves.
(Ei) "What a curious situation you have found yourself in."
(S/O) "Y-You don't have to stare at me that intensely, you know!"
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(Yae) "Oh, how adorable you have become, S/O! I could just eat you up-"
(S/O) "Try it and I'm pulling out the fur on your ears!"
Yae has to try her best not to hurt herself laughing at S/O's situation.
Now this was worth writing down!
Though, S/O clearly disagreed.
(Yae) "Come now, S/O. I wouldn't be distressed, think of all the interesting new friends you can make!"
(S/O) "Yeah, plenty of bugs and birds would like to meet and eat me, Yae."
(Yae) "Do you want to test that out?"
(S/O) "Absolutely not!"
Surprisingly, she's seen this kind of situation happen throughout her long life.
And she knows that S/O will go back to normal in a few days.
But that's all the more reason for her to enjoy the time she has!
Who knows when the next time she'll be able to laugh this hard?
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greg-montgomery · 4 months
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hi hi!! can i maybe request a rly cute and fluffy one shot of aaron just comforting and taking care of the reader 🥹
like maybe there was a thunderstorm in the middle of the night and reader subconsciously just runs to hotch’s room and he comforts her udhaidbsjanxb
also maybe a cute lil age gap to feed my daddy issues pls pls pls
ANYWAYS ILYSM NEVER STOP WRITING, I LIVE FOR UR STORIES BB
hiiii!!! <3333 thank you for the cute request and your sweet words!!!!
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
Nothing would ever beat sleeping in your own bed. Nothing could beat the comfort that the fresh scent of your sheets brought you, or the little light you always left on the entire night since you were a child.
Being away for a case meant you had to learn to sleep without those comforts. And you were really good at it; but the thing you could not get yourself to adjust to, were the unfamiliar sounds of a new place. Sometimes it was the sound of a passing car, and others some annoyingly loud neighbor.
That night it was the sound of a thunderstorm. And the hotel you and the team were staying at was definitely not soundproof enough to let you sleep in peace.  
You had been tossing and turning for more than an hour, unable to calm your heart down. It wasn’t just the thunders that scared you; the rain was pouring like crazy and the wind was almost whistling. Suddenly you felt like a little kid again, afraid that the walls weren’t thick enough to protect you from the strength of that storm.
Taking a deep breath you closed your eyes and gave trying to fall asleep one last shot. But at the sound of another thunder, the face of a certain man appeared on your mind.
Hotch.
The truth was when you thought of “safe”, you thought of him: your boss who always had all the answers. Maybe it was his older age or his intimidating appearance but he made you feel like no matter what the problem was, he would fix it. Hotch always made it better.
Without thinking about it twice, you got out of bed and ran to his room. Well, you didn’t have to run much anyway, since his room was right across from yours. He’s definitely awake, you thought; always staying up most of the night to work on the case while everyone else rested.
That was why you were surprised to see Hotch wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants answering his knocking door. But the thing that made you the biggest impression was his disheveled appearance. Sleepy Hotch was the cutest thing you had ever laid eyes on.
“Y/N? Is everything alright?”
“Hotch,” you whispered, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t think you’d be asleep. I’m gonna go back to my room.”
You made a move to turn around but Aaron was faster and grabbed your elbow, gently pulling you into his room.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” he said closing the door once you were both inside.
“I was scared,” you admitted. Seeing him raising his eyebrow in question you continued. “Of the storm...”
You were relieved to see a little smirk on his face. You guessed he was relieved too after finding out that the thing that scared you wasn’t something actually dangerous.
“I’m sorry I woke you up. I don’t know why I’m here.”
“It’s okay.” As tough as Hotch looked, he was the most gentle man you had ever got to know. “You can always come to me about anything.”
And you had the audacity to wonder why he was your safe place?
“I know.”
He sat on the edge of his bed and patted at the spot right next to him, signaling you to take a seat; so you did. You were close enough that you could smell his after shave. It made you dizzy.
“Have you slept at all?” he asked.
 “No. And I’m tired.” You let out a heavy sigh. “Maybe I should just pull an all nighter.”
“Nonsense.”
“But-”
“What if you sleep in my room? Will you still be scared if I’m right here?”
Your stomach was suddenly filled with butterflies.
“Wouldn’t that be inappropriate?” you asked.
“I won’t tell if you don’t” he said, and offered you his pinky finger to cross yours with.
You did it with a huge grin. "Deal."
“Come on now,” he said playfully while getting under the covers. Without any hesitation, you did the same, finding your place at the other side of his bed.
It was almost perfect; almost, because his arms weren’t around you, but instead were resting on his stomach.
“Hotch?”
“Hm?”
“Does the offer come with cuddles too?”
“You wanna cuddle with your boss, honey?” he smirked, and reached out his arm so you could curl up in his embrace.
“Yes, please,” you said, and the two of you ended up in each other’s arms. Being around Aaron had always felt safe, but being in his arms? That was a whole new level of safety and comfort.
“Good night, Hotch.”
And just like that the sound of his beating heart made it hard to focus on the rain hitting on his window.
His lips on your forehead and the words “Good night, sweetheart,” were the things that finally lulled you to sleep.
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dolli-is-me · 6 months
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Chapter II: 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒗𝒐𝒊𝒅 𝒔𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕, 𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅 ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
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Welcome back to my cozy cottage! Relax, and sit back, I'll provide you the best effective routine that I have ever made, by using my whole knowledge of 3+ years in the field of void state and the subconscious and conscious mind, dabbing in subliminals and finally finding the key, this routine is for anyone, I personally used it for a couple of days and I can assure you, it works wonders, it soothes the mind, helps you realize what the void really is, and how it doesn’t matter how much you tried and failed, this routine is something special I'll share ♡
𝑩𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑪𝑬𝑬𝑫, 𝑷𝑳𝑬𝑨𝑺𝑬 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫: please bear in mind, the void DOES NOT need any routine nor it needs any special work, the void is you, you enter it every night, you have the key in your hands. This routine/guide I made is just a simple bearing way to help you let go of the void and let it come to you, a guide i made that has some helpful information to anyone needing it, remember, you control your reality, you decide how to enter the void, and you decide when to, with that being said, lots of love ♡
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Chapter one// an introduction to the void, what is it?
“the void, merging nothing and everything at once, sit back and relax, the void has no hurry”
A state of awareness, where an individual is at it's most calmest point, a point where you feel an extreme wave of calmness and peace, with the feeling of reassurance, hope, and positivity, in this state, nothing that you have not intended for it to happen, will simply not happen
Why? Because you, are the void, you, hold the control over the void, you have the key, you turn the way the key should turn.
One might argue, but how can I reach it?
Reach it? You have already reached it, it's within you, it's you, you enter it every night.
The void state is a state of awareness ,it's not something you have to achieve to get the benefits, the void itself is you, your consciousness
The void is recognizable once being aware in it, it's a place where you are detached from being the one you are binded to in this reality, you'll feel weightless, formless, some report they feel like a “slime-like substance”, as to what it looks like, it depends, some say it's a certain color, yet most have an established idea that it's a dark dark place, some could say they are surrounded by stars, it's up to you and your consciousness
So, what makes it so popular and special in this community?
It's the sole fact that the void cannot block the desires you give it, it will manifest instantly the moment you intent to, nothing, I repeat, nothing, is impossible in this state, bending the fabric of reality can happen so easily as a human who had detached it's consciousness from it's being, that what makes the void special
Now I made it sound so special and such, we'll get the catch here, it's completely something easy as special as it sounds, and no, I am not saying this as a way to make you be positive or such ever, it's simply the hardcore truth, that this? Is the easiest thing
The void is within anybody, regardless of anything with them, it doesn't matter, it has no boundaries, no limit, nothing, but you are everything there
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Chapter two// The switch
Now that we truly understand what it is, how about we go through methods? Surely you have seen such thousands of methods and tips, sometimes might overwhelm you
This is completely alright, it's nothing bad, take a seat, keep calm, understand you'll eventually enter any time, so why panic?
You can choose whatever you want to your liking, however, many report they feel more motivated when they follow a routine
Let it be, I have come up with a challenge x routine for you, and please please understand, this DOES NOT mean you have to use this to enter the void, no, in fact, you can snap your fingers and enter the void, the void doesn't need concepts or such, but concept had helped those with desperate mindsets, so it can help
In short, go with whatever your guts tell you, because the subconscious mind sends you these subconscious messages through gut feelings, and for sure your subconscious knows your body way more than anyone, trust it and follow it's instinct
Let's start shall we now?
( The void switch routine )
This routine will be heavily insisting upon reprogramming the subconscious mind, and before you say anything, no, it won't take 21 days or 4 or anything- it takes how many days you assume, in this routine, there is no deadline, simply do this until you reach it, it's easy and very simple, I'll teach you to effortlessly impress both the subconscious and the conscious mind for the void
- Use this one affirmation only for the rest of the routine
“Subconscious mind, ensure me to enter the void at will”
Or whatever else you choose, to, just remember, please use the term “subconscious mind ____”
- Upon waking up, tell yourself this affirmation, tell yourself as though you're just saying some fact, repeat it for some time while you are groggy, because in this state, it's a state of the theta mind, it will pick up affirmations easier
- Now I highly suggest this, to listen to [Lotus Mi’s pure affirmation tape], doesn't matter how long or when, minimum amount of time you have to listen is at least once, you can loop it through the night if you want to, it's completely optional, the pink link above will lead you to the subliminal
- Now, this here is extremely important, whenever you get a thought of the void or anything related, feel that have already reached it and have it, feel like you're a master at the void, repeat your affirmation and believe in it
- Now, comes the important part, before sleep, I want you to lay in bed, get comfortable, and just actually prepare yourself to sleep, do something that you'll get sleepy with, a state where you are so groggy and so sleepy but not sleeping yet, in this state, command your subconscious mind, tell yourself that chosen affirmation over and over till you sleep, I swear, it's extremely important and it's the highlight of the journey, you are reprogramming your subconscious, just like how Joseph Murphy said “give your subconscious a problem before you sleep, and let it solve it for you while you fall in sleep”
That's it! That's the routine that I've been taking literal two weeks to test it off and it's extremely efficient, it worked so so well for me, I'm sure you'll immediately see the difference once you try it, the subconscious mind is a treasure
(for more detailed way about the “command your subconscious mind before sleep” technique, here you go)
1. Get comfortable in bed, just be like other days and get yourself to sleep
2. Stay awake until you get physically so tired, and I know some might say they would have problems with that, you can count until you feel groggy, or daydream, or listen to music, do anything that makes you go sleepy but not sleeping yet
3. Now comes the important part, close your eyes for sleep and simply command your subconscious mind over and over again, tell yourself that affirmation I told you about, do that till you fall asleep
Good luck for anyone who tries this! I made it extremely easy and fun, it doesn't require that much energy at all! Also if I had mentioned anything that should be credited, then I'm extremely sorry and full credits goes to the right owner, I love you all and hope you a wonderful day, you can do this, I'm so proud of you 💗
Love~ Dollie💌
“C-c-c-collect…my fickle insecurities…and turn them into beauty…I alchemize the dark within me” - Melanie Martinez
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hawkinsbnbg · 2 months
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Steve Harrington was a dragon.
Once upon a time, he would kidnap a princess, imprison her in his tower, guard the said tower, and await his doom delivered by a knight in shining armor.
But this wasn't that kind of fairy tale. No, in this story, Steve and the princess were friends. Her lover was a fae who was his platonic soulmate, and the knight in shining armor was his brother in arms.
Still, no one, even Steve himself, foreseen it when a handsome mercenary arrived at his tower and stole his heart.
Steve never felt so adored in his long and boring life, but Edwyn "Eddie" Munson managed to do the impossible.
The man was good with his words, even better with his fingers when he scratched the itchy spots beneath Steve's scales and drew runes of protection and love on Steve's human body.
Eddie was also an attentive lover who brought Steve sparkly gifts every time he visited the tower.
In turn, Steve let the mercenary ride on his back in their adventures, let the man guide him to wherever he was pleased, and let himself be consumed in the amorous looks Eddie would give him when the man thought he didn't notice.
Robin, Nancy, and Jonathan had been suspicious at first about Eddie's true motive. They worried that the mercenary would betray Steve because, despite his peaceful nature, Steve was the most powerful of his kind. And frankly, many had hunted him throughout his life given that even a piece of his scales cost a fortune in black markets.
Their concern was warranted, Steve supposed, but he trusted Eddie to not do him harm. Yet, sometimes, when Steve couldn't sleep at night, he would think about the worst and decide that if Eddie asked, he would give the man everything.
After all, Eddie already had his heart.
In the end, Eddie only asked of him a vial of his blood to cure Wayne's illness.
The day the truth came out was when Eddie approached him and stated that his uncle couldn't wait any longer.
Steve could see the desperation and hope in those chocolate eyes that he so loved, and knew for certain that Eddie wouldn't fight him but would be on his knees and beg until he agreed to help.
Before things could go any worse, Steve decided to take the matter into his own hands. Literally.
"So you had approached me because of my blood," Steve smiled wryly at the sting of the betrayal as he let Eddie dress the gash on his forearm. They both knew the cut would heal in a few minutes, but Steve didn't turn down Eddie's help. Couldn't.
"You should know that I didn't only have your blood in mind," Eddie fastened the bandage's knot securely.
"What? Are you asking for my organs next?" Steve huffed out a bitter laugh. "I heard they're quite useful ingredients for rituals and potions."
"No," Eddie met his eyes calmly and guided Steve's hand to rest on his chest. "Please listen to the song of my heart and do know that it is never a lie when I say this: I've been wanting all of you for myself since I first laid eyes on you."
Steve blinked rapidly in bewilderment and awe. Every dragon had an innate talent, and Steve's was the ability to see only the truth.
Thus, when Eddie opened himself up so freely like that, Steve could also see the man's deepest desire. And what he saw made him blush terribly. This man was truly hopeless.
"You never do anything in half, do you?" Steve snorted.
"Once Uncle Wayne gets better, I will return to the tower and never leave your side again," Eddie held his hand tightly as if fearing he would take it back and peppered feathery kisses on his knuckles.
Those words sung true to Steve's heart. Yet, he also sensed the wordless yearning from his lover. There was only one way, wasn't it?
"I'll go with you, then. I think it's time for you to introduce me to your family."
"Are you sure?"
Looking at Eddie's hopeful eyes, Steve leaned in to kiss the love of his life soundly.
"As sure as gold."
They both chuckled fondly at the memory together. After all, the first thing Eddie had given him upon their meeting was a sparkling bar of gold.
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sttoru · 7 months
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⟣ tags. gojo satoru x reader. angst. major character death. jjk 236. no comfort because i like to hurt myself mentally. mentions of death and blood. megumi mention.
⟣ note. nothing just tears and agony. no i actually cried making this, couldn’t proofread through my tears.
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the sky was pretty. pretty as it always has been. maybe even prettier now that satoru’s realised how free he is.
looking up at the limitless sky, the overflow of blue, the crispness of the air — a needed moment of peace.
the ground was harsh. a contrast to the sky. as was the silence around him; the only sounds being his shallow breathing and the debris crumbling in the area.
the warmth radiating from his body was still there. faintly, but there. he wondered if you were there with him. he couldn’t tell — his senses were dulled. his icy lashes covering most of his vision, his sky-like eyes only seeing what’s above.
maybe you were with him. not physically, but mentally. you’ve been looking at him. . . at least, that’s what satoru hopes. he hopes that you’ve seen him fight. he hopes that you found him cool. perhaps even handsome with that blood on his face. you always told him he was pretty no matter what — satoru hopes you still do even in this state of his.
satoru hopes you don’t find him to be weak. he hopes you saw everything; how he fought until the end. how he fulfilled his duty as the strongest.
satoru hopes you don’t hate him for this. it’s the last thing he wants; for his loved one to despise him whilst he’s on his way up that staircase, leading him to the friends he’s lost. he’s leaving you behind—that much was true—but, if he had a choice, he wouldn’t go.
satoru hopes you know he has no say over his fate. if he could fight death itself, he would do it twice; one time for you, the other for himself. that way you could be together forever.
with his students; the little boy he has to yet tell the truth to. megumi.
satoru blinks once. that action by itself taking a toll on his body. everything was numb, yet everything hurt.
he wishes you were there for him. maybe hold him one last time in your embrace whilst his soul departs. he doesn’t like it—feeling the warmth in his own body slowly dissappear. he wishes you were hugging him now, so that at least he could leave this world in warmth — your warmth. your comfort.
not this cold air. the cold breeze. the cold fate. the cold death.
a voice interrupts his dying thoughts of you. a voice satoru knows. it was muffled. his eyes glance at the source; megumi. in his dying moments, he doesn’t see him as sukuna anymore. even if there wasn’t a glance of megumi in that body towering over his.
it was still his little boy. the boy he watched grow up — the boy he fed and clothed. the boy he had tons of memories with. the boy you and him had trained to be such a powerful sorcerer.
satoru smiles. not at whatever sukuna had said. but because even in his last moments, he’s proud. proud of all of his accomplishments. he’s been a good friend to his classmates, he’s been a good mentor to his students and he’s been a good lover to you. that’s all that matters now.
regrets are in the past.
satoru hopes you will remember him. he hopes that everyone will remember him for who he was. not only as the strongest or the honoured on — no, as his own person excluding all his abilities and powers.
those mean nothing now that he’s taking his last breath. all which holds value are the memories he’s made along the many years he spent together with everyone.
those are all that matter now. and those are all that will be left of him.
the last thing he imagined was you. talking to him.
his heartbeat slowed to a stop, the last gasp of breath left his lungs, the vision of the endless sky being enveloped by a darkness he’s afraid of;
though, his fears were thrown away by his own brain, which worked hard at its last moments — to create a voice that sounded like yours — to soothe himself before meeting his end;
you did well, satoru. it’s time to rest.
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matan4il · 11 days
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I heard many allegations from my friends that Israel is explicitly founded as an "ethnostate", and claimed that "having a secular state instead of an apartheid state" would solve many issues of the ongoing conflict. What's some advice to give when discussing with people using such strong terms to describe Israel?
Hi lovely!
I honestly hope that your friends are even willing to listen to the answer. One of the big problems we have, is that it's easy to make up a lie demonizing Israel to people willing to automatically believe the worst about the Jewish state. It takes time, effort and a lot of words (which is taxing for both sides) to explain the truth. So there has to be willingness to listen and learn. I hope your friends prove worthy of your efforts. *hugs*
Okay, so here's the thing about the term "ethnostate." It means a state with a specific ethnic majority (unlike an immigrant society), but most people using this term to vilify Israel do it as if it means "pure ethnostate," which is a state with only one ethnic group having citizenship and rights. In other words, while Israel is a Jewish state in the sense that it is a Jewish-majority state, they use the term as if it means that Israel is a Jew-only state. But Israel isn't a pure ethnostate, and in fact, that doesn't exist anywhere in the world. In Israel, 26% of the population is not Jewish (21% of Israelis are Arabs, 5% belong to other non-Jewish groups).
More than that, Israel has never been interested in being a Jew-only state. I know the narrative of these people is that Israel intentionally committed an ethnic cleansing, expelling Arabs, but that's not the case. The Arabs started a war against the Jews (which they referred to as a "war of extermination") and at a certain point, the leadership called upon the Arab population to leave, so they can make way for the Arab armies which would invade Israel once it would declare independence. One historian in a documentary I watched about this, said that about 80% of the Arabs fled of their own accord, about 10-15% fled because, once the war started, there was also violence between the Arabs themselves (settling scores under the cover of the fighting), and the rest, which means 5-10% of the Arabs, were expelled by lower ranking Israeli army commanders, due to those locals' hostility, violence, and unwillingness to accept the new sovereign Israeli state. Meanwhile, Arabs who were willing to accept Israel, who did not take arms against the Jews, were allowed to stay and become citizens. Those 120,000 Arabs became the foundation of the 2 million Israeli Arabs today. More than that, Israel actually promoted a plan to allow about tens of thousands of Arabs back and give them land, so long as they were willing to accept the new Israeli state, and not take arms again against its Jewish citizens. Only a really small number seized that opportunity (in part because they were still at the stage where they thought any day now, the Jewish state would be dismantled by the Arabs anyway), but those who did are, once again, proof that Israel wasn't into ethnic cleansing.
Bottom line is that the partial ethnic cleansing of Arabs wasn't a result of the Jewish refusal to live alongside Arabs, it was a result of the Arab refusal to live as citizens of a Jewish state, or in an Arab state which would coexist with a Jewish one, it was a result of the Arab refusal to accept the Jews as equals.
Sometimes, I feel really bad for Arabs who did not want the war, who could have lived at peace with the Jews, but their leadership and society forced the war on them. Other times, I remember they could have stayed there, remained peaceful towards Jews, like the 120,000 Arabs who were immediately a part of Israel once it was established. I also remember that they could have spoken up against the war before it broke out, at that stage when everyone was sure the Arabs would exterminate the Jews in a matter of months at most. If they would have spoken up then, it would have been them speaking up against the ethnic cleansing and intended genocide of Jews. Where were they then? Where were their voices when the Arabs were considered the strong side?
And I remember Petach Tikva, a Jewish moshava established in 1878, and how the Jews founded a new water well, that the Arabs benefitted from as well, after they had polluted the existing water well with cattle carcasses. I remember that when the Jews started working in agriculture there, they allowed Arabs to come and live with them in this small Jewish community (22 Muslims and 2 Christians), I remember the Arabs said, "Al-bracha ind al-yahud," the blessing is with the Jews, meaning they recognized the Jews were doing something right, and the Arabs themselves were benefitting from this. I remember the Arabs complimented the Jews on how hard working they were in the fields. And I remember that none of it mattered, and that by 1886 (just 8 years after its founding), Petach Tikva was targeted in an organized Arab attack, where one woman was murdered, beaten to death (Rachel Haddad Ha'Levi), and 5 people were injured, including Rabbi Aryeh Leib Frumkin (the great grandfather of Rabbi Jonathan Sacks), who the Arabs thought they had beaten to death. There was no State of Israel yet, there was no "theft" of land, Petach Tikva was founded on land bought and paid for, there was no occupation, there was no ethnic cleansing, no discrimination of Arabs, and yet seeing the Jews start to build themselves up as equals, in a community of their own, not just as second class citizens in cities where they were always a vulnerable, undefended minority, was enough to launch this violence.
To drive this point home, you can ask your friends about the ethnic cleansing of Jews by Arabs, which occurred in the Land of Israel, and are they opposed to that? Hebron and Gaza City in 1929. East Jerusalem, Judea and Samaria (re-named by the Jordanains during that year the West Bank) and the Gaza Strip in 1948. There are currently ZERO Jews in what is supposed to become the Palestinian State, and Mahmoud Abbas, the president of the Palestinian Authority, promised it would stay that way. I wouldn't call the Palestinian-ruled territories a pure ethnostate, because they do have small non-Muslim, non-Arab minorities (although those minorities have been shrinking in size due to persecution since Israel gave over control of these areas to the Palestinians in the 1990's), but in terms of my specific minority group, I can't ignore that these territories are Jew-free, and that the future Palestinian state is meant to remain ethnnically cleansed of Jews. So, if your friends truly mind ethnically cleansing, will they call out the Palestinians on that? Would they vilify and demonize the future Palestinian state, the way they do Israel?
Back to Israel today, and the other allegation. According to the law, ALL Israeli citizens are to be treated the same, regardless of faith or ancestry. The apartheid in South Africa was a system where racism didn't just exist in society, it was coded into law. That means by law, government officials could only ever be white. It means the citizen rights of non-whites were by law limited, either reduced or revoked completely. That's not the case in Israel. Here, Jews and non-Jews enjoy the exact same citizen rights. For example, non-Jews were members of the Israeli parliament since our very first elections (mad respect for Seif el-Din el-Zoubi, who saved the 6 Arab villages that his family inhabits in Israel, by insisting that they don't join the fighting against the Jews, and was elected a member of the Knesset in 1949, and was even appointed at one point as its Deputy Chief). And here's a former Israeli Arab minister and member of Knesset, Isawwi Frej, refuting the apartheid allegation himself:
Also, for the record, Israel IS a secular state. The law here is secular, not the laws of Halacha (which is actually why some ultra orthodox Jews are anti-Zionists. Not because they're against a Jewish state in the Land of Israel, but because the State of Israel isn't Jewish enough in terms of its rule and laws for their liking). Israel IS Jewish, but in the same way that the US is Christian. There are certain cultural influences and indications, but religion doesn't rule the state, and there is more than enough room for people of religious minorities to practice their faith, and have all of their rights and freedoms.
I hope this helps! xoxox
(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)
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trappolia · 13 days
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NEVER LOVE AN ANCHOR ── dan heng x gn!reader x blade, former dan feng x gen!reader x yingxing, 2.4k
you dream of blood.
the golden ichor that seeps through the jagged cracks of an old, divine blade. the deep red that drips from your wounds as a cruel reminder of your mortality, an ever existing shadow that haunts you through all the ships you travel through.
you dream of love.
a golden hairpin that catches your eye while walking through the bustling streets of a marketplace. the red paint that smudges on a lover’s lips when you exchange kisses. strokes of black ink upon parchment, reading words more poetic than one can ever have the courage to say aloud.
it is dizzying, in the way all dreams are. you are sitting under the moon and sharing a drink with someone you consider your friend, family, lover, and the next you are driving your spear through his chest. there are no blades of grass on this ship, no grassy fields for you to hide in, and the tendrils that you feel swaying, rustling, in waves past your ankles, are the chains of the sins you bear as someone they call their beloved.
the crew of the astral express are a welcome distraction, kind and warm as they offer you their companionship in their own personal ways. you help march 7th pin up photos in her room, laughing as you reminisce over your past travels through silly selfies and scenic photos. you sit with himeko during breakfast over a cup of coffee (yours brewed by yourself rather than the gorgeous redhead, thank the aeons) and indulge in the peaceful silence, a sense of normality that the woman is more than happy to give you after all that you’ve been through. mr yang tells you stories of other universes, weaving the already existing threads of all the lives you’ve seen around you into something completely different yet the same— and sometimes you can’t help but wonder if he lived a different life before all this.
but no matter what, you always find your way back to dan heng.
though you have your own assigned room, the simple arrangement of a flat pillows and a blanket on the floor of the archives is as much of a home to you as it is to dan heng. you’ve spent many a night in his room, poring over texts and books with him, more often than not passing out on his lap or in his sleeping area.
( “they come as a pair,” march 7th once told the trailblazer when they asked about the two of you. “himeko said that arrived on this ship together. whatever they went through in the past, they made it through because they had each other. but that’s just what i think.” )
it’s true, in a sense. what would you have done without dan heng, travelling through all those ships that always met the same end? you wonder if you would’ve lasted long enough for himeko to find you and bring you to the astral express.
probably not.
dan heng feels responsible for you. he doesn’t say it, but it’s obvious. you once confessed your insecurities to him on a dark night, back when the two of you were still getting used to having a proper roof above your heads without fear of the ship getting attacked or waking up to security banging through the door.
( “what if they think i’m useless because i’m always clinging onto you?” you had asked him in a small, weak voice.
“…they don’t seem like those sort of people.”
“but what if?”
dan heng had looked at you, his expression tired and soft all at once as he sighed.
“then they’ll have a problem with me too.”
“why?”
“because,” he brushed his fingers over your gaunt cheekbones, worn from all that you’d been through. “i’m just like you. if something took you from my side, then i might as very well be useless to them.” )
there’s a known truth between the two of you, one that you never speak of; but you both know that it’s a fact. if you hadn’t been involved with dan heng — with him — you’d still be at home in the xianzhou alliance. you’d be blissfully oblivious to the convict on the loose, the exile who has returned home. you’d be living your life— a normal life.
but you aren't.
instead, you dream of him.
it should be impossible. bracers are not meant to be shared between a trio, and whatever gift you had been planning to share between the three of you was lost upon the exile. and yet, even without the ancient magic of the vidyadhara, he somehow manages to make his way into your dreams, haunting you like a ghost.
some nights, you dream of those arms that had always held you with such certainty, an impenetrable shield even when bloodied and battered. other nights, you dream of those hands driving a blade through dan heng’s heart, squeezing your throat until you take your last breath through a broken windpipe.
and every night, when you wake up from those dreams in dan heng’s arms, you feel that pain welling in your chest, settling for days as it finds comfort in its new home, made up of your aching lungs and your shattered heart. the days and nights blur together like this— haunted by a man still living and breathing, though not quite human, in the nighttime, and traversing through the worlds like a ghost searching for meaning in the daytime.
you don’t remember how it ended up like this. or do you? it all feels like a dream, all the details and images blurring together to be forgotten by morning. but it isn’t morning, and you can’t wake up from this reality. your head throbs. a concussion? who cares.
you can’t afford to let your guard down on this ship you once called home. you’re here for a reason, and though that reason is your top priority, you can’t afford to be caught either. the cloud knight that found you and dan heng — sushang — doesn’t seem to recognise either of you, and neither does the strange tradesman luocha, but you still can’t take any chances. panic blossoms in your gut, unsettling as you grip your weapon in your weak hands.
ah. that’s right. you’re fighting. reason grounds you with the fuzzy memory of your enemy standing before you— an ambush, because whatever forces are at work here clearly play just as dirty as the antimatter legion and that damned aeon they serve.
a fight you can’t lose, no matter how badly your head is throbbing right now, because you still have to find the others, have to save them from— from—
“ren,” your grip on your weapon loosens as the dust clears, revealing the man standing before you.
the enemy, your brain screams, though it can’t even make you move away. the word that slips through your lips is familiar, and yet not. your head hurts thinking of calling him by his true name, the name you called him before he turned into this.
blade, is what kafka called him.
ren, is what it means in your mother tongue, the language spoken in moonlit nights as the three of you sat under the stars, the silence broken only by a whisper of their names.
the name comes out as a quiet, pathetic croak, staring wide eyed at his figure. he’s frozen just as you are, his broken blade aimed straight at you with an arm that wavers just the slightest.
it’s like a domino effect; your walls crashing down the moment you see his mask slip for the smallest moment.
“yingxing!” your voice breaks as you call out to him again, almost desperately (it does not occur to you that you've let your memory slip, called out for a man long dead). your feet are moving from under you before you even realise it.
blade lunges forward, his sword drawn.
a desperate cry of your name wretches itself out of dan heng’s throat in a way that makes your heart ache, but it’s too late now. his warning comes only seconds after you’ve begun to run straight to danger, death, a threat to your life seemingly unseen to you as you surge forward like a blind lover, but you can see him.
the sharp angles of his face, the familiar bracer on his calloused hand, the searing heat of his vermilion eyes. he’s so close— close enough to kiss, close enough to kill, close enough to be reality rather than an illusion forged by a dream.
his blade is not what meets you. instead, it’s his hand. dan heng’s panicked screams is barely audible over your hammering heartbeat, your pulse quickening as blade’s calloused fingers wrap around your throat. he’s stronger than you — you would know even if he hasn’t been haunting your dreams all those years — and so he can easily snap you in half the second you’re in his clutches.
but then you’re pressed against him, back to his front. blade pulls you as close to him as humanly possible until you’re both flush, sharing the same, saccharine oxygen after years of breathing stale air through stone lungs. despite the sharp end of a sword held over your throat, you allow yourself to close your eyes, reveling in this single moment as if you’ve lived an eternity where the three of you had never once hurt each other. though he had an eternity without a single regard to how you’d hurt each other. in these stolen moments, you let yourself be stupid, oblivious, selfish, just to breathe properly for the first time in what feels like a millennium.
“let them go,” dan heng hisses, breaking you out of your reverie.
“no,” blade’s eyes narrow. there is no mocking in his expression, no sardonic smirk or cruel taunts. his walls are still up, none of that broken emotion that you’d only seen for a split moment when your eyes first met, but he lets himself drop the bravado. between the three of you, there is no such thing.
you whisper a soft cry of his name, making dan heng’s grip tighten on cloudpiercer as he moves to snatch you out of blade’s grip, but your former lover only growls.
“come any closer, and i’ll cut them.”
his voice is scratchy, worn like the calloused hands that are wrapped around your nape, squeezing almost painfully. a distant memory flashes in your mind, of these same calloused palms washing your back after a long day, cleaning the blood and grime.
these same hands could be stained with your blood, if he so wishes.
“you won’t,” dan heng hisses, and you hear something in him break like glass shattering on the floor. “you can’t.”
he sounds so sure of it, that this man will not slice that blade over your throat and take your life just as he had taken dan heng’s in so many eternities.
you’re reminded of the fact that no matter how many times the hourglass has turned over for dan heng, no matter how muddled his memories become, he once loved this man just as you did— once relished in his presence and touch as it lulled him back to sanity, masking the weight of all the sins the three of you had committed over the lifetimes your strings of fate had been entangled.
blade moves as if to cut your throat, to finally take the first life, the first step in the nth round of this cycle of violence, but his sword only manages to press down just the slightest against the skin of your neck before he stops himself. his hand — the one adorned by that damned bracer — shakes as he glares at dan heng with a look that can kill.
“fuck,” blade mutters under his breath. the word is not meant for you, but you hear anyway. blade pulls back from you roughly, and a barely audible whimper tears out of your throat when he suddenly pushes you forward and into dan heng’s arms.
dan heng’s eyes widen, clearly just as surprised as you when blade relinquishes his hold on you. he catches you with unsteady arms, trying to keep cloudpiercer levelled at blade as if the man will suddenly lunge forward and take him from you again.
blade stares at the two of you for a moment, watching as dan heng clutches you to his chest like you’ll disappear if he let go, as you hold a palm to your neck where the thinnest line of red bleeds through. his eyes narrow, and the only other indication of emotion in his face is the slightest downturn of his lips.
“i’ll be back,” blade says, and then there’s that cruel smile on his face again, a taunting glint in his eye as he looks at dan heng. “i’ve stolen your little eternity countless times before. what’s one more to the tally?”
dan heng growls, his grip tightening on cloudpiercer, “you damned—!”
but then blade’s already making his exit, leaping off the platform in a manner that gives you deja vu.
( a memory flashes in your mind, the image of him jumping off your balcony as jing yuan knocked on your bedroom door to make sure you were still asleep while dan feng dove under your bed for cover, a mundane moment of peace and carefreeness almost forgotten from where you had pushed it deep into crevices of your mind. )
i’ve stolen your little eternity countless times before. what’s one more to the tally?
after a breathless moment that seems to drag out for an eternity, dan heng’s arms finally uncurl from your frame, his eyes tracing your figure to make sure you’re unharmed. his eyes drag over the thin cut across your neck in an adagio, his breath hitching as he sees you bleeding the same colour of blade’s eyes.
“he didn’t kill me,” you breathe out. you don’t know why it’s only settling now. the relief is clear in your tone, but it’s obvious from the violent tremor of your hands that it’s only to mask your own uncertainty. "he didn't kill me."
dan heng is quiet. you’re too scared to look at him, at the expression on his face. you just stare at your shaking hands, and watch as he rests his palm over your own to soothe the tremors.
“he always had a soft spot for you,” dan heng whispers, something breaking in the tenor of his voice.
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© trappolia 2024
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alewritesfics · 9 months
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Love me again, please
Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x Fem!reader
Word count: 5.6k
Summary: After a few years, you cross paths with the last person you ever wanted to
Warning: I do not know where I was going with this story at the end so I apologize if it is a little over the place but you all get the gist.
A/n: I'm also posting after months of posting nothing. Very sorry about that but well, I lost the motivation to write, with that being said, Serendipity is on hold for the moment. I have the story planned out but I have no idea what else to write so the main scenes may connect in the end. So I'll be taking my time writing that. Also, I have no posting schedule because I know I won't follow through with it so I'll be posting when motivation hits and I have a fic finished. Lots of love to everyone who takes the time to read this xx.
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Forgiveness.
An action that is difficult for human beings to execute. We live in a world that in which resentment , anger and revenge win over anything else. We let ourselves be carried away by the teeth of hatred, that we never take into account that action.
Forgiveness brings us peace and it brings happiness because not only are you forgiving the other person, you are forgiving yourself. Forgiveness is the biggest act of love in this world, and we just have made it complicated.
Although as much as you preach for people to forgive, you yourself, haven’t got it in you to forgive that one person that wronged you so many years ago.
Oh, how you hated him.
The one person that made you fall in love with him, that made you question your morals and break your dignity, allowing yourself to be used as if you were a prostitute from one of the brothels downtown.
He promised you his love, whispered sweet noothings in your ear as he made love to you late in the evenings, when everyone was asleep, telling you to give him more time so he could sort out a few things before making you his wife.
Oh, how you hated him.
Like a fool, you believed everything he promised you, hope blooming inside you at his words, that was all you wished for, to become his wife. But for the meantime, you were happy being his mistress.
If the only way to be with him until he sorted everything out was by being his mistress, hiding in the shadows, where no one was watching, you would take it, you would give yourself to him.
Oh, how you hated him.
That is, until one day, he left you without any word.
He came to your room one evening, you were patiently waiting for him, readying yourself for what you thought would be another night of pleasure.
That is until he arrived and broke your heart.
Told you how he could not be with you anymore and that he would not be coming to your room anymore. When you kept on pleading with him not to leave you, that is when he changed to saying cruel, cruel things.
Like how did you ever believe he would actually marry you, and that he was only with you for the pleasure filled nights you provided, that you were just an easy prey, foolishly believing everything he said. Those words succeeding even further on breaking your heart.
Oh, how you hate – loathe him.
Oh, how you loathed him
Oh, how you really really loathed him
Oh………
how you wished you actually loathed or even hated him.
Because that is the truth, no matter how much he hurt you, no matter how the words he carelessly threw at you engraved themselves deeply inside you, how he completely broke you, even then, you still could not find it in yourself to hate him.
“Your grace?” you snapped out of your thoughts, turning your head to the side, looking at the footman questioningly “We are here, your grace”
You thanked him quietly before looking down at the toddler sleeping on your chest, brushing the hair that was covering her face away, caressing her chubby cheeks.
“Love,” you murmured stroking her head lovingly. Little Amelia moved, shaking her head before burying herself further into your chest “It is time to wake up, darling. Were you not excited to see grandmamma and grandpapa? What about your cousins, Charles and Elizabeth? You were delighted that you were going to be able to play with them”
She instantly sat up, rubbing away the sleep from her eyes “Oh! Charlie and Lizzie! Mama!” she squealed, suddenly very energetic “They said they would show me toys their mama and papa brought them” She clapped her hands and hastily exited the carriage once the footman opened the door.
“Careful” you called out after her, grabbing the blankets you previously set out for her to sleep more comfortably
“Amy!” you could hear your mother’s voice exclaim as you put your feet on the floor and looked around “Oh, look how big you’ve gotten sweet girl!”
“And so beautiful too, just as beautiful as her mother” your papa added happily, bringing you into a hug
“mama, papa, it is so nice to see you” You greeted happily returning the hug before pulling back “has Ed and Ellie arrived? Amy cannot wait to play with Charlie and Lizzie” you ask
“Oh! Yes, they are just inside, come on Amy, let us go see your aunt and uncle” your mama urged grabbing on to your daughter’s little hand, your father offered his hand to you which you rejected, shaking your head
“You three go on ahead, I just want to breathe in a little bit of fresh air, those few hours in the carriage made me a little nauseous” you breathed out, they nodded before walking away and leaving you alone. You sighed, turning to look you at the sky, letting the sun soak into your skin.
It is crazy how fast time passes. It seems like it was just yesterday when you got your heart broken. It seems like it was just yesterday when after getting your heart broken, you decided to move on away from him and instead marry a dear friend of yours.
Jacob Thornwell was his name, the duke of Rosehill, you had met him through your brother as they had gone to Eton together and you become close friends, close enough to marry each other. It wasn’t a marriage out of love but you both cared deeply and respected each other. What more could you have asked for?
You married him because you were heartbroken and wanted to move on and not give that person the satisfaction of seeing you broken, and Jacob married you to escape his family’s complaints.
After a week of mourning over your lost love, you went to him and proposed the idea, he accepted and soon after you married. You were happy, or at least the most happy you could be after getting your heart broken, but everything changed when a few months later, you had little Amelia.
Your world changed after that day, after you held your sweet babe in your arms, after she opened her eyes, those eyes she inherited from her father. And when her little lips formed into a small smile, you knew you would do anything for your daughter, she was now the most important person in the whole world and you would protect her against everything.
You let out a deep breath closing your eyes, after a few moments opening them once again, you turned your head to the side, your body filling with dread when you saw a familiar person looking back at you from across the street.
Your heart started to race when he opened his mouth to say something starting to cross the street , you turned on your heel and entered your parent’s home, not letting him even say anything. You close the front door loudly and lean your body against it, holding your hands close to your chest, willing your heart to slow down.
“Y/n?” You hear your mama’s voice speak up, you turn to look at her, mustering up a smile “Are you alright, dear?”
“Yes, yes I am” you breathed out “I just thought I saw a bug, you know how I get when I see one” you let out a fake laugh, giving a shudder as If you were disgusted to make it more believable
Your mama nodded her head, not quite believing you but deciding to let it go “Of course” She then gestured to the drawing room “Come on now, your brother is anxious to see you” you now smile genuinely before following behind her
After greeting your brother, you were seated on a couch, looking at your daughter and her cousins playing happily in the middle of the room, a smile laying on your face, although that smile faded once you remembered your brief interaction, if you could even call it that, with that man across the street.
How dare he? How dare he look at you as if he was shocked you were in front of him, as if you were the one who had broken his heart and cut all contact with him after, how dare he even try to approach you after everything he did..... after everything he said?
What you would have given to know how he had felt in that moment. That moment when your heart was cracking into a million pieces, that moment where you were crying out for him not to go because you needed him. You wondered how he felt. Did it even hurt him as much as it hurt you? Did he feel that painful tug in his chest or the lump in his throat like you did? Did he even love you as much as you loved him?
You curse the day you met Anthony Bridgerton.
That man was your ruin.
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You take it back.
You curse the moment you let your mama convince you to go to the ball Lady Bridgerton was hosting.
Not only because you had to leave Amy at home but because there was also a 50 percent chance that you could encounter Anthony Bridgerton at any given moment, and that was the last thing you wanted to do tonight.
“Fancy seeing you tonight” someone spoke up beside you, you look up, coming face to face with the last person you wanted to see.
Oh, just your luck.
“Lord Bridgerton” You uttered looking back at the couples dancing in the middle of the room
“Miss Y/n – oh, my apologies, I forgot you are now the duchess of Rosehill” he muttered unapologetic “Your grace,” he said sarcastically holding back a scoff, you look up at him once again, sending him a glare
After a few moments of silence, he spoke up “Are you not even going to say anything?”
You sighed angrily, the last thing you wanted to do right now was speak to him “There is nothing to speak about, Viscount Bridgerton”
He scoffed rolling his eyes “Surely you cannot be serious” he grabbed your arm and pulled you into an empty corridor after making sure nobody saw you both “Let us start with something simple, how about the fact that you married Jacob Thornwell when you knew damn well I did not like him”
“Excuse me?!” You scoffed angrily“Who I married is none of your concern”
“None of my concern?” He laughed humorlessly “None… of….my….concern?”
“Yes," you reply “None of your concern, you did not have any say in who I married and whether you liked him or not. Well, guess what? I did not care, not.one.bit” You snapped “ You were the one that left me! Might I remind you of that night when you came into my room and told me all kind of horrible things?”
“I-“ he tried to cut in
“No, no, let me speak!” you glare at him “You told me I was just an easy lay, you told me you didn’t ever have any plans of marrying me and were only looking for an innocent, naïve, foolish little girl who you could fool into sleeping with you. You told me I was a fool for believing everything you ever told me”
“Y/n-“
“Let me speak!” you breathed out harshly, Anthony went silent “Do you have any idea how horrible I felt? How broken I felt? You were the first man I was ever with, the first man who paid even just a little bit of attention to me. The first man I ever loved…. I really loved you, Anthony… I loved you so much that it consumed me entirely. And you left me” you chuckle emotionlessly “But do not worry, I feel nothing for you anymore”
“You seduced me, ruined me, and then left me. I gave you what I should have only given my husband, I was really lucky that Jacob was understanding because if not, I never would have been able to marry, god knows no one would want damaged goods” you shake your head “But I am also grateful, because you showed me how cruel men could be. You showed me how foolish I was for thinking you actually cared about me and you made me realize that I never should have loved someone as heartless as you” you scoffed and turn around, walking away from him, back to the ball
“Y/n, wait!” Anthony called out “Let me explain- y/n- let-“ you ignored him, whatever he was saying now drowned out by the music playing.
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“Mama! Look!”
You turn to look at your daughter, she was pointing to a butterfly that was standing on top of a flower. You smiled at Amy, “Yes, it is very beautiful, sweetheart”
Amy smiled and ran to another part of the park “Careful,” you called out to her “And stay where I can see you”
You take a look around the park, looking for any signs of your parents but they seemed to be nowhere. You sighed and sit on a bench nearby where Amy was running around. You groan when you felt your favorite necklace become loose once again, falling down your neck.
“I should really get this fixed” you mumbled trying fasten it around your neck once again, all while you kept your eyes on Amy, making sure nothing happened to her before you felt a presence next to you.
You turn your head, finding Lady Bridgerton next to you with a smile on her face “Your grace” she greets “ It is so nice to see you after all these years”
“Lady Bridgerton” you greet her with a smile “It is so nice to see you as well”
“How have you been? How is your family?”
You smile “ They are fine, thank you for ask-“
“Mama!” You turn your head and stand up quickly when you heard Amy cry out for you. Your daughter runs to you and hugged your legs tightly “What is wrong, darling?” you ask worriedly, before pulling her away, making her look at you
“Look” She shows you her arm which was scraped, tears filling her beautiful blue eyes “I hit a rock and now there is blood” She sniffled
“Oh, now now, do not cry” you coo caressing her cheek. You look up at Lady Bridgerton, who was staring at Amelia with wide eyes, her face turning pale. Dread fills your entire body.
“I- Is that- She looks- what- A-“ She stuttered
“Lady Bridgerton” you cut her off “If you may excuse me, I must find my parents, it was nice seeing you again” you give her one last smile and walked away, holding onto Amy’s hand
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You groan as you ruffled throughout your bedchambers. You looked through your clothes, under your bed, on your dresser, anywhere you could think of but you still could not find it.
You exit your bedchambers and head down the stairs to the drawing room. “Mama” you called out entering the room “Have you seen my necklace? I cannot seem to find it anywhere”
Your mama looked up from her embroidery “Have you looked in your chambers?”
“I have” you looked at her worried “but it is not there” you grumble sitting down next to her “I need to find it mama, that is the last thing I have of Jacob, it is really special”
She raises an eyebrow “Well, I seem to think the last thing you have of Jacob is Amy, is she not?��
You stayed still “I – yes, of course, but I mean the last materialistic think left of him” I reply
She hums “Well, now that I remember, I recall Lady Bridgerton saying she has your necklace and you could go over today if you desire”
Your face lights up “Perfect! I will go then” you walk away before stopping and turning back to her “Will you look after Amy for me, please, I will not be long” you smile when she nods and walk out of the house
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You open the front door slowly, looking around before walking further in. “Lady Bridgerton?” you called out and enter the drawing room
You huff when you don’t see her inside “She is not even here, why did she say to come here today then? And why didn’t she just send me my necklace with a maid” you roll your eyes before turning around, stopping when you come face to face with Anthony
“Looking for this?” He holds out your necklace, you look down at the necklace before looking back up at him
“Why do you have it? Give me it” you held out your hand, gesturing towards your necklace
He shrugs “If this was so important for you, why did you lose it? Mother found your necklace lying on the ground in the park,” he chuckled “How careless of you. And I, like the good son i am, told her that I would give it to you, how sweet of me, right?” He smirked
“Give it to me” you demand, glaring at him
“Tell me the truth first” He shakes his head
You furrowed your eyebrows “What are you talking about? Give me my necklace, now”
“Tell me you have not forgotten me” He mutters “That you still feel something for me”
You swallow, your eyes flickering between both of his eyes before looking down at your necklace and then back at him “Give me my necklace” you decide to ignore his words, evading his eyes so he does not see how much he is affecting you
“Y/n,” he sighs “I love you” he blurts out, you start to feel a light sting on your eyes.
“What are you even saying?” you needed to get out of there, you cannot stand to be there any longer “You are speaking nonsense!” You step around him to walk away but he stops you before you could make another step
“Come on, Y/n” He pleads holding onto your arms
“Let me go” you demand trying to jerk out of his hold
“If you tell me the truth, I will let you go” He said softly, you ignore his words once more, looking down at your necklace in his hands
“Give me back my necklace or dont, either way I will leave” you stated angrily
“Tell me the truth” Anthony repeated “Tell me you have not forgotten about what we had, tell me you have not forgotten me, tell me that you still love me”
You narrow your eyes at him, chuckling humorlessly “ I do not have to tell you anything”
“Do not do this, Y/n” he sighs exasperated
“Do what?” you glare at him
“Do not do this”
“What should I not do?!” you exclaimed
“I am in love with you, Y/n” Anthony admits looking at you softly
You snort before chuckling and looking around “Love?” you turn to look back at him, he nods in response “ After all these years, you speak to me about love?” You shake your head incredulously
“What did you think? After all these years, you will come to tell me that you are in love with me and I will jump straight on to your arms, right?” You throw your hands in the air in disbelief “In all that time I spent with you, I'm sure you did not know what place I occupy in your life! You treated me like an object, was I your mistress? Your lover? Did you even plan on courting me or did you only want me to be someone you could tumble around in the sheets with? Oh! wait a moment, you did say you were only looking for a easy lay. And now you speak to me about love!” You scoff
He looks down in shame “I had so many things going around, Y/n, I was confused. I did not know what to do and how to do it. And- and I did not want to drag you down with me” you look at him in disbelief “But I have always been in love with you”
You clench your jaw and scoffed “I do not even know why I am talking to you about this” you uttered and walked around him “Let me go” you exclaimed when he pulled you back towards your spot once again
You look at his chest, not wanting to see him in the face as your eyes stung with tears. Anthony looked down at you and nodded “Then tell me you have forgotten me, tell me you do not love me anymore ”
You opened your mouth and then closed it before opening it once more to speak this time “I forgot you” you looked at him in the eye “ Is that all? I forgot you! I do not love you anymore” you affirmed once more
You step away from his hold “What did you think?! That I would wait for you all these years?! That I would act as if I was just waiting for you to decide you wanted me again, to jump back into your arms?! That I would revolve everything around you?! Do you still think everything revolves around you?! –“
He pulls you into a kiss, cutting off your words. You tense, not expecting what he just did. He kisses you for a few more moments before pulling back. You remained emotionlessly, your lips tingling from the kiss you just shared a few seconds ago.
“I’m sorry” you snapped back out off your trance to look at him “I have crossed the line, I am sorry, if you want we can talk” he sighs ashamed at himself
”I may not know much about love, and that is mostly my fault for not letting myself love, but I know a lot about you” Anthony voiced “ I know you like to look at the rain, sometimes you even let the drops grace your hand. I also know you adore looking at the stars, those little lights that make your eyes shine in wonder. And you like to get lost in your thoughts, in that mind so disastrous but philosophical at the same time. You are a riddle that at first sight is complex but when you get to know it, you discover that it is a wonder of the world”
You ponder over his words, looking up at his face before looking back down, wringing your fingers before looking back up at him once again.
You smile sadly “ I cannot forgive you, Anthony, every sweet word you say cannot take away all of the pain you caused me, and I am sincerely sorry if you thought that this encounter would turn out another way, one in which everything is forgiven and you and I could be the perfect picture family but I am sorry to disappoint you. I cannot forgive you, and honestly," you sighed “ I do not want to”
With that, you turned away,
“Y/n…” he mumbled, you stop once again “ Love me again, please” you let out a shaky breath shaking your head and walking away and this time, he willingly lets you.
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You wipe your tears away furiously entering your home once again “ Y/n?” your mama comes out of the drawing room, she looks at your tear stained cheeks before looking into your eyes worriedly “What happened?”
Your lips trembled before you hug her, letting the tears fall silently “Oh, what is wrong my dear?” you shook your head hugging her more tightly
After a few moments you pull away, wiping under your eyes carefully, all while your mama is still looking at you.
She sighed before sitting down next to you “I will give you some advice and I hope you listen to it” your mama uttered, her eyes flicking over to the drawing room before she spoke “Cry what you have to cry and suffer what you have to suffer. Because everything is ephemeral in this life, everything gives way at some point and pain is not the exception. And if you have to scream, then do so, if you have to break down, then break down. Do what you have to do to start again, to be able to heal, to be able to be happy and to be able to live”
“Why are you telling me this?” you wonder confused as she stood up, grabbing your hand before she led you out to the garden, where you saw your daughter running around happily
She chuckles softly “Dear, do you really think I did not know about your affair with the viscount?” you stare at her wide eyed, speechless “Do you think I had no idea that you snuck him in every night on your first season? Of course I did know, you are my only daughter and I would be damned if I let you be hurt by anything.”
You went to make up something but she cut you off “ And do not make some excuse that it was actually you who snuck out because you went for morning rides on your horse because it is not even believable” your mama rolls her eyes “ I care for you and your brother, and now little Amelia, more than anyone in this world, even more than your father. I love my children and grandchildren, that is the reason why I never said anything to you or to anyone. I saw how happy he made you, I thought you hid your courtship because you did not desire the society's attention on you both and that you would soon inform us that you were together, maybe even engaged”
“Mama…” you whisper looking down
“But then that light I saw in your eyes faded, you would spend your days locked in your bedchamber's , and imagine my surprise when you announced a month after, that you were getting married to Jacob Thornwell” your mama let out a shaky breath “You do not know how heartbroken I felt to see you like that. So low spirited, that the girl that used to be so happy, laughed so much and had so much love to give, was gone in a matter of a day”
“And I do not know what happened between the viscount and you but I trust you and your decisions. That is why I still supported you when you decided to marry the duke even when you were not in love with him. It was not a marriage of love but at least it was one of friendship, one in which you had a beautiful daughter” she remarked
You smiled lightly “She really is beautiful” you looked at Amelia who went to sit on the swing, looking at a butterfly that was flying by
Your mama hummed “She really did get the best of you and the viscount’s features” once again, you were left speechless, your smile fading as she laughed once she saw your expression “Oh please, I did not for one second believe that you gave birth 2 months early because of some complications you supposedly had, and Amy looks a lot like the viscount, Lady Bridgerton can surely attest to that” she then walked away after dropping that bomb on you.
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“Your grace”
You looked to your side “Oh, it is you again” you pursue your lips “You surely do not understand that I do not want you near me, do you?”
“Oh come on, do not be like that” you roll your eyes at his words
“ I am not being like anything” You grumble “ I am simply annoyed that you cannot seem to take a hint and leave me alone”
“Of course I can take a hint” Anthony huffs “I just simply choose not to accede to your desires” You scoff
“Such a nice person you are” you grumble looking away
“I never said I was nice" he tilted his head to look at you better
“I can see that” you said
“Mama!” Amy slammed on to your legs “Grandmamma said i can eat some of the sweets on the table if you allow me” You look down at your daughter “Can I please eat some?” Amy gave you a pout making you laugh
“Of course” you laugh before you turned at your side when you remembered who was next too you. Anthony was looking at Amy wide eyed
“She is – is she your daughter?” He asked you, you nodded, your heart starting to pound faster.
He knelt down to her height and extended a hand, smiling at her slightly “Hello” he greeted her when she turned to him “ I am Viscount Bridgerton but you can call me Anthony”
Amy smiled happily, shaking his hand “I am Amelia but my family calls me Amy” Anthony looked at you for a moment before turning back to Amy
“How old are you, Amy?”
“Amelia, sweetheart,” you cut in “Why do you not go back to grandmamma and eat those sweets you were telling me about?”
“How old are you, Amy?” Anthony asked again
“Amy-“
“5” Amy answered him happily, showing him five fingers. Anthony snapped his eyes towards you quickly when she answered
“Amy” you stressed out, Amy looked at you then “Will you please go to grandmamma now?”
She shrugged and skipped happily towards your mama who was already looking at you three, your mama gave you a look when her eyes met yours flickering her eyes to Anthony and back to you before smiling at Amy who was now next to her.
You sighed looking at Anthony, who was now turning pale “She – why did you – Y/n, I do not understand – is she my daugh –“you cut him off, grabbing his hand and pulling him to an empty room after making sure no one saw you.
“Do not say those things where anyone can hear you, Lord Bridgerton” you snapped
He chuckled humorlessly, his eyebrows furrowing as he clenched his jaw“She is my daughter” He stated
“ No, she is not” you denied “She is Jacob’s daughter” he narrowed his eyes at you
“Do not try to lie to me because I do not believe you”
“Well you must because that is the truth” you rolled your eyes at him
“She is five” he snapped angrily “She has my mother’s eyes, Daphne’s eyes." He looked around before leaning in closer “And you and I both know Jacob liked everything but women.” Anthony stepped back, clearing his throat “You can try to deny it all you want but the proof was right there in front of me” You stayed quiet “Why did you not tell me? Did you not think I deserved to know my daughter?”
“She is not your daughter!” You exclaim “ She is mine and she is Jacob’s, not yours” Anthony looked at you hurt
You both stared at each other silently, your chests rising quickly, heavy breaths escaping both of your lips. Anthony sighed walking closer to you, you swallowed, taking one step back with every step he took towards you.
“Why did you marry Jacob Thornwell?” He asked “Did you love him?”
You shook your head, deciding to answer with the truth “It was not love. I did not marry him for love, but for friendship” he looked at you confused
“You told me you would not marry unless it was for love-“
“Yes, well, things change do they not?” you muttered, he went silent.
“I am sorry,” He admitted quietly after a few minutes “I know whatever I say is not enough, and it will also not take away any of the pain I caused you, but I am truly sorry, please believe me, Y/n” he held onto your hands, you look down at your intertwined hands
He raised your chin with his hand, making you look back up at him. “I cannot defend myself because there is no excuse that can fix what I did to you, I, myself, do not know why I did that” he swallowed “ The only thing I can say is that i loved you then, and I love you now, and if you allow me, I can continue to love you for the rest of my life ”
“There is no one else I would rather have next to me, no one else I would rather love for eternity than the one person I have really loved my entire life. No one else than the mother of my beautiful daughter.” He caressed your cheeks “Say yes, Y/n. Let us have that life that I so stupidly threw away. Let me prove that I can truly make you happy. Let me love you”
You stayed silent before speaking up “I moved on with my life, pretending that nothing had happened between us.” You admitted quietly “But there were times when you crossed my mind, especially when I looked at Amelia” you then added “you caused my heart to explode by the simple memory of something that was. It is strange, to know that even with everything that happened, that love I held for you, the same one I still have for you, never faded” his face started to light up with his words. A small smile appearing in his face.
“Does that mean you will…..”
“I do not know if I will regret this, but I have not stopped loving you. I- Anthony- I promise you, do not make me regret this or else I will really murder you” You grumble
Anthony laughs happily before pulling you into a kiss, his lips moved against yours softly, testing the waters, as if to make sure you won’t pull away before he started to kiss you more passionately. His hands pulling you close by your waist as you wrapped your hands around his neck, kissing him back just as passionately.
“I won’t” he mumbled onto your lips “If so I give you permission to murder me willingly”
You hummed before pulling away“Just let me love you before that happens” you smile.
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azulock · 3 months
Note
so I wanna requests the guys as dads, I remember at some point you said you wanted to do something like this and I really wanna see it
Time to rull up my sleeves, cause I did say I was gonna do one of those right? Back when I got annoyed that all I found was girl dad this girl dad that and I got tired of all the typical gendering going on in dad fics.
Ryusei Shidou
Girl dad in the most chaotic way possible. Tiaras coexist with bows and arrows as a princess fights off an invasion. Every doll and plushie has a tattoo made either with a sharpie or from a patch attached with hot glue. Every tea time is a mafia family meeting that always involves an assassination plot. And the barbies live very intense lives that inevitably delve into wrestling like storylines where each one has a gimmick, a long standing feud, and a clear thirst for blood.
Chaos may not be the best thing to keep an organized home, but it's good for mental development. And much like a kid, Shidou also thrives in creative chaos. He isn't the best at practical things, especially the ones involving routine and quiet time, but he has got his uses. Very good at wasting his daughter's energy until she drops straight into a deep sleep. His antics are also good at convincing her to eat pretty much anything. And of course, great at entertaining her so you can take a break.
Oliver Aiku
Boy dad but like he really doesn't care, he'd be giving the same extremely affectionate, and even a bit clingy, treatment to his kid no matter the gender - sugary sweet nicknames included. Probably heard people saying he coddles his son too much, treating him like a princess, but Oliver is good at playing deaf. Tho, that kid gonna have to fight for the right to have his feet touching the ground, cause dad wants to carry his offspring everywhere. Sure to raise a boy as clingy and openly affectionate as him.
Those reflexes honed for football are quite good at catching a kid before an ugly fall. And he's actually good at the general everyday stuff, surprisingly patient too. Takes a genuine interest in the things his son likes, so when the boy shows sudden interest in colorful nail polish, he'll show up to a match with badly painted soft purple nails. Likes sleeping on the floor with his boy, when asked why the floor and not the bed he brings up the old man excuse of "the floor is good for my back".
Reo Mikage
Girl dad and he was ready for a little princess, but what he got was more of a cave dwelling gremlin. He was expecting frilly dresses and tea time but he gets a little girl who likes bugs, playing in the mud and digging things from the ground. It hits him as a surprise but he adapts to that, and as much as he isn't very excited for the cleanup afterward, he is always eager to entertain his girl's odd interests. If buying dinosaur fossils weren't such a legal can of worms he'd buy one just to bury it for her to dig up.
If he wasn't convinced to go to therapy before, now is the moment to convince him. Just gotta say he should do it not to become like his dad and he's gonna be booking the appointment fast. Will be reading child pedagogy books and shit like that to make sure he can be a good and understanding dad. Really just trying to kill his family's trauma conga line at himself - wants his daughter to trust and count on him in the way he never could with his dad.
Michael Kaiser
Boy dad but to the gentlest, sweetest of souls, a little boy who seems to have absolutely nothing in common with his dad, aside from some physical traits. It at the same time shocks and scares him, because the world out there is not kind to sweet people. But while the boy is at home, Kaiser can keep him safe. It does frustrate him a little bit when he tries to get his son into football but the boy is more into art than sports, but he learns to move past that. Truth is, he wanted the boy to mirror his traits a bit more, so this is a humbling experience.
That poor rose tattoo of his does not see a day of peace after his son learned to color. Tho, Kaiser gets used to the shaky new roses drawn on his skin fair enough. And he actually considers getting a full tattoo of just lineart and not colors just to let the boy color in. He's not the most patient so he has a bit of a hard time getting used to the whole parenting thing, but he does try his best. Also, whenever he takes his son out somewhere he makes their clothes match in color scheme.
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fire-lizard-ro · 4 months
Note
Could I request Jing Yuan slowly falling in love with a baker reader who manages to win his heart through the power of delicious baked treats?
Oml thank you so much anon I can finally write a request for my beloved malewife JY. <333
Reader gender: gender neutral
It starts out on a peaceful afternoon. I imagine that no matter how busy the Arbiter-General of the Luofu is, he likes to occasionally take breaks from the Seat of Divine Foresight to take a stroll or visit places on the ship to see how things are going. Despite his fame, I like to think that people have enough respect for their dear general that when he's out on these outings, they'll allow him his privacy.
On these walks, he likes to find something to eat if the timing is right. Seeing as it's just past lunch and he's yet to eat, Jing Yuan supposed it would be good to find somewhere to grab a bite while he was out.
It's then that Jing Yuan stumbles across your bakery. Initially he merely listed it as an option in the back of his mind, filing it away as a new bakery he'd have to try out later or maybe now if none of the other places suited his fancy that day. But then as he began to pass... The smell that wafted out from the door as a smiling customer left the building convinced him to go inside. He was pleased to find that while it did have Xianzhou specialties, it also had foods from beyond the fleet's norm.
Another thing that he was pleasantly surprised with was you, the owner of the bakery. Even with the unspoken rule of allowing the general his leisure time in peace, many would at least gawp at him for a bit before poorly hiding their awe and shock at seeing him in their shop. But you merely waved at him just as you did the customer who'd entered before him. The feeling of being treated just as a normal person was... Very nice. Jing Yuan's ever present smile widened a tad as he nodded to you before going back to perusing the options behind the glass of the counters.
He decided to get a wife cake (sweetheart cake) to enjoy on his way back to his office. The exchange between you two was easy and pleasant. You did your job and nothing more. Though- it was done with a smile and in such a way that he felt quite comfortable.
When he left, he glanced at you again. You were seeing other customers, not sparing him another glance.
Taking a bite of the wife cake, he found that it was better than any he remembered having before and the flavor brought back memories of times gone by. How lovely. Perhaps he'd have to visit your bakery again.
And he certainly did. Over time, the two of you built up a rapport. You were his favorite baker, and he, your loyal customer. Something about your baking made him feel warm inside. When he asked what you did to make them taste so good, you would respond that you baked them in the hopes of each good you sold bringing just a little more joy to the lives of those who ate them. He chuckled and said that it was surprisingly believable.
At some point, he became aware of the fact that the two of you were becomming... quite close. Concerningly so.
I like to think that with the life he's lead and with the personality he has, Jing Yuan is the type of person to give his affections freely. But his trust is hard won. Sitting in the seat of an Arbiter-General, not only has he had to lead troops to victory, but he's had to manuever on the political battlefield as well. After holding his title for longer than most of his peers and having to be the one so plan behind the scenes... Always planning ten steps ahead of everyone else... It would be hard to put his trust in others. Especially when you add on what happened to his old friends. Sometimes, no matter how good he is at what he does, fate will take matters into its own hands.
So when he notices this predicament... he's a bit... afraid, honestly. Huh- The Divine Foresight himself, afraid? It was the truth. He was still mortal and still had his fears and flaws.
Even so, he had no real reason to avoid you. Especially because he thought it would be best to continue as normal so as to not alarm you. You two did have a solid friendship after all this time... As much as you could when he held you at arms length.
Yet there was still tension there. In the brush of fingers when Jing Yuan handed over his payments and when you'd give him what he'd bought. The smiles the two of you would exchange. The heartfelt words that you gave Jing Yuan even when he was trying to keep a firm distance between the two of you. It made him feel a bit guilty for keeping a wall up when you were none the wiser... And perhaps the kicker was the way his heart felt full of warmth when eating the pasteries and other snacks you'd prepared for him specifically that morning, knowing he'd be in. The simple pleasure of always knowing you'd have food he'd more than enjoy ready for him. Knowing that you made it for him. Knowing you cared enough to do so. Knowing how much care and love you put into everything he ate.
And it was a moment like that in which he realized he was already too far gone.
He had been enjoying one of his favorites of yours while sitting in your shop, having enough time that afternoon to do so. He was brought back to memories of his old friends and comrads... And this time. Warm, fond memories of you. That was... new. It was then that he heard your laughter, causing the man to look up as you patted the hand of a woman who was smiling widely at you. She had been thanking you profusely for your help in making her anniversary with her boyfriend so wonderful. They had both loved the pastries and said that it seemed to make their hearts even more filled that day.
Oh.
Oh no.
His eyes crinkled as he felt a smile stretch across his face, unbidden.
He was in love with you.
From that point on, he subtly did what he could to become even closer to you. Let down his walls and allow you in. Just you. He did things to subtly court you, as well. Little gifts here and there that show his sincerety and that he remembered the things you said to him. Sometimes this would include ingredients you needed for the bakery. Eventually, he even gifts you a hairpin (even if you don't have long hair, this is mostly for the symbolism).
It was that gift that made you realize his intentions. It was a quiet morning, even before you opened shop that he stood in the back with you, under the artificial light of the shop and in casual wear due to a day off he took for this. Quietly and softly he told you that he had a gift for you and took your hand gently in his to place the elegant hairpin. He softly closed your hand around it with the hand that had previously been holding the hairpin, your hand and said hairpin held tenderly between his two larger, calloused and scarred hands. When you looked up into his eyes, searching, you saw how they had narrowed and clinkled at the edges with his warm smile. This was not a side of him you'd ever seen before in more than the barest of glimpses.
With a slow grin that he matched when he saw it, you leaned up to wrap your arms around his neck to pull him down into a kiss.
It seemed that not only your food could warm his heart.
Thank you again for the request! Feel free to send in another one~ Especially if it's for JY I love him so so much ijogee I could talk about him for daayyyysssss.
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greatlydelirious · 1 year
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𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞
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Kratos x F!Reader 
wordcount: 4.1k words
summary: Two lost souls find comfort in each other’s company.
warnings: slow-burn, falling in love, angst, fluff, bedsharing, lore heavy
a/n: This is a teaser of a scene between the reader and Kratos in the giant fic, “Of Gods and Men” that I’m writing. This is my “proof of concept” for you guys that I’m actually working on it. (The reader is OC in regards to some characteristics, but skin color is not specified.)
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“…There is the heat of Love, the pulsing rush of Longing, the lover’s whisper, irresistible—magic to make the sanest man go mad.” - Homer, The Iliad
Voices ignite like fueled flames outside Kratos’s bedroom as someone enters Sindri’s home. Not just anyone can stir up that much ruckus though. The arrival of Kratos always elicited a flurry of questions and action. Despite your want to check on the god you don’t move from your supine position on the hard bed.
You continue to count the cracks in the ceiling above as if the number you came up with would unearth some deep truth within yourself. Time became a foreign concept as you tried to convince your body to relax. Sleep is elusive to you despite your mind’s craving for rest. Sindri told you, just as he did Atreus, that sleeping would make all the troubles of your mind work themselves out. Easier said than done.
That’s how you find yourself on a bed that’s not yours. One that you’ve only slept in once but couldn’t forget the feeling of. The furs below smell of him, earthy with notes of smoke and musk that remind you of the lush jungles in your home realm of Vanaheim.
Home.
It had been centuries since the last time you felt the security of such an ideal. To the dismay of your fickle heart, you felt that sense of contentment that comes with being home merely weeks ago in the arms of another. Someone you tried to remind yourself you couldn’t have. Someone who, like you, made a pact to never let themselves be kept in mind or body to another again.
-
It’s strange how night devolved hardened hearts into feeling such soft vulnerability. Memories have a way of burrowing deep in the brains of even those who try to forget. You’re sitting at the dining table in front of the roaring furnace. The warmth doesn’t completely stave off the coldness that stems from more than just the weather.
Sindri’s home is filled with a rare stillness, but it only works to grate on your nerves rather than bring you peace. Solace is nearly impossible to find in a world full of gods and men. Throw in the endless monsters and magic, and the notion is nothing but a fantasy for the whimsical. That you are not.
Your head darts up when a large shadow appears across the table. Wood groans as Kratos settles in the seat. It’s not often that the two of you get to sit in each other’s company alone without having other things on your mind like hunting or survival. The gripes of being a god and goddess in the opposition to the All-Father are endless.
“Can’t sleep either?”
Kratos grunts in response as he reaches for the pitcher of mead abandoned in the middle of the table. He fills the large tankard next to it to the brim before putting the pitcher back down with a weighty thump. You watch transfixed as Kratos’s adam’s apple bobs with each pull he takes from the cup.
The veins in his neck bulge and when some droplets of mead spill from the corners of his mouth, you can’t help but trail their path down his beard. For a moment you forget what was keeping you up in the first place.
“Something troubles you.”
A statement, not a question.
“I’m fine, Kratos. My woes matter not.” You feign indifference as you lean back in your chair, like his notice of your mood doesn’t make your heart leap in your chest.
Kratos leans forward, his hulking form hovering over some of the table, “Speak the truth, woman.” The word woman comes out in a growl, lingering with a threat that would never be followed through. Yet, it’s still effective enough to make you give in.
Your eyes move to focus on the expertly crafted wooden surface under your hands. Calmness is common nature for you, but something about Kratos’s piercing gaze makes you fumble to find words. Dryness coats your mouth as if your body was cursed to not utter your torment.
“I had a twin sister once. Her name was Hnoss, everyone always said we were identical, but I still think she was prettier. She…”
When your voice begins to crack you stop. Emotions you’ve suppressed for hundreds of years come bubbling to the surface. Thinking about your sister was one thing, but voicing it out loud made it all too real again. Like she’s not what haunts your dreams, but the young girl you once played in ponds and climbed trees with.
“Go on.”
The earnestness makes you chance a glance up. A small, sad smile curves your lips at the sight of Kratos’s focus trained on you. He may not say much, but he always listened. No wonder Mimir didn’t mind being stuck with the man.
“She often went to Bifröst, a rainbow bridge that reaches between Midgard and Asgard, hoping to run into our father. People predicted that Hnoss would reunite our parents. Alas, hope is not always enough to alter reality.”
Kratos slides his tankard toward you, giving you a moment of reprieve without a word. Picking it up, you swirl the amber ale with a twinge of bitterness. Normally you would say gods made pitiful fathers. That was until you met Kratos and Atreus.
The god makes a habit of surpassing expectations.
Sending a quick prayer to the lost goddess mother of Vanaheim you take a giant swig of the mead. Soft notes of bready malt accompany aromatics with a musty, oaky finish coats your tongue. A clicking noise escaped through your teeth as you cringe at the overpowering taste.
The sound of Kratos humming in approval grounds you from your wandering thoughts. You nod at him in appreciation before taking a steadying breath and continuing,
“During her visits, there was a god by the name of Heimdall who kept watch over the rainbow bridge that would entertain her with stories of old and new. One day he revealed to Hnoss that he possessed night vision and never slept. He also claimed to have existed since the beginning of time and told her tales about the creation of various things.
While our father remained absent, Hnoss was taken to Baldur's Stead to comfort her in her sorrow since it was believed to be a place where healing occurred. Baldur’s wife Nanna would often cradle her during these times of profound need. One time in particular, with Nanna by her side, Hnoss shared a strange dream she had about Queen Hela, a queen who was half living woman and half corpse. In her dream, Hela entered Asgard and declared ‘A lord of the Aesir I must have to dwell with me in my realm beneath the earth.’ Hnoss was paralyzed by fear after experiencing this dream.”
You take another swig from the tankard before handing it back to Kratos. Obsidian eyes stay locked on you as their owner downs the rest of its contents.
“What happened to your sister?”
“Hnoss was never the same after that. They say that those who use seidr magic will eventually succumb to the evils of its art. Unfortunately for her, it was true. Similar to Baldur, she died a needless death.”
And just like all of the Vanir people. Many of their lives were taken by the power-hungry Aesir for no other reason than greed. Peace in these realms always comes at a price.
“So that’s why I’m troubled, Kratos. Now my own dreams are filled by her. No matter how hard I try to forget.”
Kratos hums in acknowledgment, “I too know the pain of losing a sibling.”
Comfortable silence hangs between the two of you for a couple of minutes. The time is filled with unspoken understanding lined with a sense of melancholy.
“Drink.”
Kratos seems to present a bottle of wine out of nowhere but you don’t hesitate to accept it. Not even gods are above drinking their sorrows away. Another pitcher of mead and bottle of wine later and you’re drunk. Loose-lipped, fumbled-word, soft-legged drunk.
You’re currently giggling like a fool as you lean against the bedroom door simply staring at Kratos while he sits on his bed. When you started to create too much of a ruckus in the living room he took into his room since you refused to leave his side. You’d slap yourself in the forehead for that fact the following days later.
“Come.”
Your feet move before your mind can fully process the command. It’s as if your body is compelled to obey him without hesitation. The idea goes against everything you stand for. You ran from the one home you’d ever known and the one man that ever truly loved you, because of your refusal to submit to any man or god. Thankfully, the mead-fueled haze creeping into your brain keeps you from spiraling any further.
Kratos tilts his head to look up at you as you stand between his thick legs. A lazy smile spreads across your face and before you can think you lift your hand to cup his cheek. Although he captures your wrist, he doesn’t pry you away. Tentatively, your thumb rubs small circles into the rough flesh.
For a moment he indulges in your touch, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. You smell like vanilla with a citrus charge of tangerine and cinnamon. Something tantalizingly sweet, forbidden.
A rumbling noise emanates from Kratos’s chest when your thumb ghosts along the scar on his right eye. You wonder how he got the nasty slice. What god put it there many years ago. Unfortunately, Kratos is still a mystery to you. Bits and pieces of his life are shared sparingly through short stories during long journeys, but nothing else beyond that.
Nothing else beyond that. The four words ring in your ears. What are you doing? It’s not your right to be in his room, near his bed, and touching him of all things. You are companions, sure. Friends? Maybe. But partners? Nothing of the sort.
Any semblance of tipsiness you had quickly evaporates, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“ You stop when Kratos brings his other hand to your hip, squeezing lightly.
“No need to explain. Not to me.”
Your hand drops when he moves to lay on his side on the bed. Kratos scoots back until his back is against the wall.
“Lay.”
When you hesitate, he pats the small space in front of him in an almost comedic fashion due to his large size, “Lay, agápi”
The word he calls you is spoken in a language you’ve never heard before, but he says it with such tenderness that it makes you slide into the bed. You start to think you’ve been sleeping this whole time when Kratos wraps a thick arm around your waist to pull you flush against his front. After three years of pining, you’re in the arms of the man you admired. The sudden realization is almost too much.
“Will you tell me a story from your homeland?”
Kratos’s silence at your abrupt question makes you huff out a laugh. Butterflies were swarming in your belly and if you didn’t do something about them you would never fall asleep.
Was it childish for you to ask for a bedtime story? Perhaps. But this might be the last time you get to have Kratos to yourself like this. You gently nudge him with your leg. It doesn’t even slightly jostle the mountain of a man, but it does keep his attention.
“Come on! An old man like yourself must know hundreds.”
After a beat, Kratos sounds almost bashful if that emotion was even possible for the god, “There’s this… poem.”
“What’s it about?
“A cunning general and a war over forbidden love.”
Ironic.
“Is it based on truth?”
“Yes, but I prefer the poem.”
You giggle at the displeasure lacing his tone.
“Can you recite a line for me?”
Kratos grunts at the way your tired eyes have you looking at him through your lashes. You’re the picture of innocence and natural beauty. It stirs something inside him that’s laid dormant for years. He would say Aphrodite’s beauty paled in comparison to yours, but you’re more than that. You’re a beauty beyond comparison wrapped in a warm light.
“I wish that strife would vanish away from among gods and mortals, and gall, which makes a man grow angry for all his great mind, that gall of anger that swarms like smoke inside of a man's heart and becomes a thing sweeter to him by far than the dripping of honey.”
You twist your head to the side to look back at Kratos. The darkness in the room keeps his features hidden yet you still can’t help but smile. A truly genuine, happy smile despite the small crookedness from your drunken state.
“Wow… I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard you say in one breath. Didn’t think you were one for lovely words.”
Kratos makes a low noise in his throat, contemplating for a moment if letting you in his room, in his bed, was really a good idea. When you suddenly snuggle back into his front, he doesn’t move a muscle. Your soft and warm against the hard expanse of his chest. The word “comforting” comes to the forefront of his mind but he tries his best to suppress the feeling.
Only to fail when you open your mouth again.
“The totality of emotions can either make or break a man. Let them in, Kratos.” Your voice oozes drowsiness encompassed by a softness you saved for his son Atreus. It’s an inflection filled with sweet sincerity and motherly care.
When a light snore reaches his ears, Kratos looks down at your face. You’re already sound asleep. His arms tighten a fraction before letting himself close his eyes. He told himself it was just for a night.
It’s never that simple.
For long seconds after you woke up the next morning you took in the sleeping man’s face. His features were free of stressed lines and his usual frown. Kratos looked even more handsome under the lull of sleep.
His arms were secured around you like a lifeline. It wasn’t a lover’s embrace, but the comfort of another person’s body aiding you both into a dreamless sleep. Although, it would be a lie if you said your heart didn’t flutter when you woke up to his face buried in your neck, the scruff of his beard making your skin prickle and heat.
You managed to slip out of the bed without waking the beast of a man. A feat when he held you so tight. When you made it to the door you chanced one more look back at Kratos, a heaviness settling inside you. For days you’ll blame your abrupt intimacy on you both drinking, but it would take oceans of alcohol to muddy the god’s mind.
Kratos never said anything about that night; never said that you helped him have the first truly peaceful sleep in his lifetime.
-
The sane part of your brain is cursing you for laying in Kratos’s bed like a loyal dog waiting for its master. Especially when he gave you no inkling that your presence was wanted. You’re so lost in your thoughts that you flinch when the door opens.
Kratos doesn’t falter at your uninvited presence as he shuts the bedroom door with a heavy sigh. You sit up on his bed as he takes off his armor with rough hands, letting the items loudly clank to the floor with little care. The blades go first, then his cuffs, and the axe.
Concern fills you at his sullen state. Emotions can only be bottled up for so long and Kratos was an expert at doing just that. You know he doesn’t want your help, but he needed it more than he’ll ever admit.
“You carry your burdens with you in mind and hand.” Your eyes trail to his Blades of Chaos on the floor. They act as physical reminders of the pain and suffering he caused not only strangers and gods, but the ones he loved the most.
“What do you know of carrying burdens?” His voice is gruff, but not fueled with malice.
“Don’t you remember that night?”
Guilt washes over Kratos’s features as remembrance dawns on him. The furrow of his brows and the twitch of his jaw is evidence enough. Sighing, you scoot to the edge of the bed, “I will not claim to understand your suffering Kratos, but I do know what it means to be lost. To follow your path while being confused as to why you must. To wonder why you get to live when they don’t.”
Kratos’s shoulders are visibly tense as you stare up at him. Standing up, an idea pops into your head that is so outlandish that you whisper it in hopes that he doesn’t completely hear it.
“For just one night give your burdens to me. Let me take care of you, Kratos. Someone needs to. Let that someone be me.”
A part of you doesn’t think but knows he will reject you. Especially when those eyes filled with shadows stare at yours unblinking and unwavering in their passivity. Who were you to ask for something so personal?
A love-sick fool, that’s who.
Every fiber of your being is pulled toward Kratos, but that doesn’t mean the feeling is mutual. Dejection washes over you at your boldness fueled by foolish hope. Right when you’re going to walk away, Kratos clears his throat.
“Okay.”
You blink at him like a small child would at the sight of a giant bear. Odin himself must have been playing a trick on you because you can’t believe that Kratos just accepted your proposition. For a solid minute, you stay standing with your chests inches apart.
Heat blooms in your cheeks as you become acutely aware of your closeness. Every deep breath he takes causes his taut stomach to brush against you. Your neck starts to feel the strain of having to crane back to make eye contact with him.
“Do I need to speak in even simpler words?” Kratos’s deep voice snaps you out of your gawking. Never had a man made you feel like a mere mortal; let alone make you like the idea of being overpowered.
“I-“ You clear your throat, finally letting the air dense with an unspoken tension fill your lungs, “N-no.”
Unconsciously, you rub your hands on your trousers and take a deep breath to steady yourself. “Sit on the bed.”
Kratos follows your command without question. Carefully, you crawl behind him on the bed and prop yourself on your knees. The skin under your hands tenses when you bring them up to rest on his shoulders.
“Relax. I mean you no harm. I swear.”
Your voice is just above a whisper and laced with sincerity. You begin to knead the endless knots that harden Kratos’s shoulders. The endless burdens he carries on his back would crush any mortal. When Kratos lets out a satisfied groan you have to bite your lip to stifle out a noise of your own.
Now’s not the time to start frothing at the mouth.
Instead of letting yourself turn into a pathetic puddle of suppressed desire, you opt to continue your efforts to comfort.
“We will get to Asgard. Atreus was raised by a strong man. I know he is doing more than fine.”
“A strong man perhaps, but not a noble one.”
Your thumbs travel down to press into the rigid flesh of his shoulder blades while you scoff.
“What does it mean to be noble? You are strong, courageous, watchful, full of wisdom, and give astute instruction. Those are very noble traits.”
Kratos shakes his head, “You do not know the extent of my sins.”
You sigh at the persistence of his inadequacy. How could he not see that his obvious guilt was the biggest indicator of his good heart? Your hands move to his bulky chest to lightly rub the muscles.
“We are more than the sum of our parts, Kratos. Bad deeds cannot be undone, but what we do after is what matters most. We must be better, work harder, and do whatever it takes to keep the realms from falling into chaos.”
At your words, Kratos takes hold of your wrists, “Where did you hear that?”
“I heard that from centuries of living. From reaching the lowest I could possibly go and coming out of it stronger than I was before.”
You move so you’re next to his side and only hesitate for a fraction of a second before you bring a hand to his cheek. Kratos doesn’t resist as you turn his head with the gentle guidance of your palm. Instinctively your thumb gently rubs back and forth against his rough flesh. The gesture feels different than the last time. It’s more intimate, rawer.
“You’re a good man, father, and friend, but if you continue to let the past dictate your future you will never see that for yourself.” You bring your other hand up to rest on the middle of his chest, “Open your heart. I promise it will only serve to make you stronger, not weaker.”
The way Kratos is looking into your eyes leaves you breathless. It’s almost like he’s seeing you for the first time. Not your outward appearance, but the depths of your soul.
Unlike usual, the silence that fills the room is stifling. So much so that your skin begins to heat, a humid tension that rivals Vanaheim hanging in the air. Maybe you said too much. Maybe you’re silly for spewing your opinions to a man who didn’t ask for them. Maybe this is what it feels like to love someone that’s out of your grasp.
Dejected by your imprudence you leave him with one last thought, “The totality of emotions can either make or break a man. What will it do to you?”
When you try to climb off the bed, one of Kratos’s hands shoots out to grab your bicep.
“Where are you going, woman.”
His voice is deep and reminds you of the forcefulness of booming thunder. One that shakes you more than Thor could ever make. Swallowing thickly, you advert your eyes to the ground, “I don’t want to disturb you any further.”
“Stay.”
Without another word, you let Kratos slowly pull you down on the bed. Half of your body lays on him as he rests his chin on your head. He feels safe and solid, protecting and proud. If only he can see what you see. If only he can feel what you feel.
You let yourself indulge in being in Kratos’s arms just like before and close your eyes. In seconds your body relaxes. Exhaustion mixed with the tidal wave of emotions you’ve gone through makes the perfect sedative.
Kratos watches your breathing slow as you go lax on his chest. He can’t help but admire you in the secrecy of your sleep.
The light shining through the window casts a glowing effect on your long locks, making it seem as though a halo is over your head. Your hair reminds him of the sunsets in Sparta, golden and awe-inspiring. More than that you remind him of that comforting feeling that comes with being where one belongs.
Home.
When Kratos grunts at the absurdity of his thoughts, the noise causes your leg around his hip to tighten. He carefully traces your spine with the tips of his thick fingers. You’re so small and fragile in his hold, like a mouse cuddling in a bear’s den during a frigid winter despite the looming danger.
You’re unlike any goddess he’s met before; calm, kind of heart, strong, and free from the chains of greed that comes with a being with that kind of power. You told Kratos to open his heart and be better for the future. Only one other woman told him those exact words.
“The culmination of love is grief. And yet we love despite the inevitable; we open our hearts to it. To grieve deeply is to have loved fully. Open your heart to the world as you have opened it to me and you will find every reason to keep living in it.”
An epiphany hits Kratos so hard that it causes him to hold you tighter to his chest.
You’re something to live for.
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Any and all interactions are greatly appreciated.
greek translation: agápi = love
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deathsweetblossoms · 6 months
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Elain Archeron’s Character Growth
I'd never once seen [Nesta and Elain's] hands sticky with blood and fur. (...) It wasn’t that Elain was cruel…Elain sometimes just didn’t grasp things. It wasn’t meanness that kept her from offering to help; it simply never occurred to her that she might be capable of getting her hands dirty. I’ve never been able to decide whether she actually didn’t understand that we were poor or if she just refused to accept it.
—ACOTAR
Getting Her Hands Dirty:
"“Don't forget that gardening often results in something pretty, but it involves getting one's hands dirty along the way."  “And torn up by thorns," I mused, recalling a morning this past summer when Elain had come into the house, her right palm bleeding from several gashes thanks to a stubborn rosebush that had pierced her gloves. The thorns had broken off in her skin, leaving sharp splinters that I’d had to pull free."
—ACOSF Bonus Chapter
“Enchanted gloves,” she read from the card. “That won’t tear or become too sweaty while gardening.” She set aside the box without looking at it for longer than a moment. And I wondered if she preferred to have torn and sweaty hands, if the dirt and cuts were proof of her labor. Her joy.
—ACOFAS
"Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the king's neck as she snarled in his ear, "Don't you touch my sister".
—ACOWAR (thank you @tealeaves-and-rosepetals for this one)
Elain "Grasping Things":
“It’s their tradition, though,” Elain countered, her face still flushed with the cold. “One that they fought and died to protect in the war. Perhaps that’s the better way to think of it, rather than feeling guilty. To remember that this day means something to them. All of them, regardless of who has more, who has less, and in celebrating the traditions, even through the presents, we honor those who fought for its very existence, for the peace this city now has.” For a moment, I just stared at my sister, the wisdom she’d spoken.
—ACOFAS
Elain saw every single thing Nesta had done, and understood why.
—ACOSF
Elain Offering to Help:
A lady—that’s what Elain would become. What she was risking for this. (...) “I’ll do it,” Elain said, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders.
—ACOMAF
Cassian shifted in his seat. “So we track down the Dread Trove—how?” Elain spoke from the doorway, having appeared so silently that they all twisted toward her, “Using me.”
—ACOSF
But she hadn’t hesitated to come. When Feyre had offered to let her remain home, Elain had squared her shoulders and declared that she was a part of this court—and would do whatever was needed.
—ACOSF
Elain Accepting The Hand She is Dealt:
Elain, who would not eat, or speak, or do anything at all. Elain, who had somehow become the adjusted one.
—ACOSF
Elain, mourn as she might for the life she would have had with Graysen, had found a place, a role here. Tending to the gardens of Feyre’s veritable palace on the river, helping other residents of Velaris restore their own destroyed gardens—she had purpose, and joy, and friends: those two half-wraiths who worked in Rhysand’s household.
—ACOSF
Silver lined Elain’s eyes, but her voice remained steady, sure. “There was nothing that could have been done to save him, Nesta.” The words were kindling. Elain had accepted his death as inevitable.
--ACOSF
“It’s already ended badly. Now it’s just a matter of deciding how we meet the consequences.”
—ACOWAR Anyways she's perfect. She is everything. She is the moment.
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thatshirleylee · 6 months
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brennan's statement on instagram
I'm calling on my government officials to immediately demand a ceasefire and de-escalation in Gaza.
I applaud anyone and everyone calling for peace, with the understanding that real peace only exists if it deeply and honestly accounts for and fully ends violence in all its forms. Real peace addresses and corrects wrong-doing in the past and guards against it in the future. It goes hand in hand with justice and requires truth, restoration, reconciliation, reparation.
Peace cannot co-exist with collective punishment, ethnic cleansing and forced displacement. It cannot co-exist with blockades, embargoes, or with 2.2 million people, half of which are children, trapped with no hope of escape or political recourse. It cannot co-exist with murdered journalists, bombed hospitals, or years of protesters being shot and killed at the border. It cannot co-exist with illegal settlements segregated roads, and the silent, imperial chill that settles over the gaps in the yiolence - the unspoken geopolitical consensus that a group of people need to unflinchingly accept permanent subjugation and occupation.
My heart breaks for every Israeli person who lost loved ones during the attacks of October 7th. It breaks for every Ukrainian person who has lost their loved ones. It breaks for every Congolese person who has lost their loved ones. I do not speak on behalf of Palestinians now because some lives are worth more than others. I speak on their behalf because, as an American, my government is actively championing and financially funding their mass slaughter and forced displacement.I speak on their behalf because l, and all Americans, have a responsibility to pressure our government because we are responsible for this. Some have said that this situation is complicated. The United States government clearly disagrees. It has definitively, categorically, militarily chosen a side, and I do not agree with that decision.
In writing this, I have been wrestling with what I am sure many people like me wrestle with: There is a powerful narrative surrounding violence in the Middle East that asserts an ever-moving goalpost of self-education and study in order to even be qualified to have an opinion. As someone with a love of research, I have at times in my life fallen into the trap that I am not educated enough, clever enough or aware enough to have a worthwhile perspective, and that three more articles and two more lectures and one more book will do the trick. Unfortunately, democracy doesn't work that way - we, the citizens of any democracy, cannot possibly be experts on every aspect of the policies of our governments, and yet if we do not weigh in and make our voices heard, the entire experiment falls apart. Not only do people constantly doubt themselves and the things they can see with their own two eyes, but old shortcuts for political action can fall apart as well: This specific issue exists along a raw, charged and unique faultline in American politics. Nobody I grew up with has ever challenged me on my support for abortion rights, LGBT rights, Black Lives Matter, anti-capitalism, anti-fascism, none of it. The people in my country who would despise me for those positions are, for all intents and purposes, strangers to me. But there are people who l've broken bread with and shared honest affection with who will see the words l've written here and incorrectly conclude that I do not wish for the security, dignity and happiness of them and their loved ones, and that breaks my fucking heart. Full-throatedly condemning the actions of the Israeli government while battling rampant anti-semitism at home is an urgent moral necessity, and doing so is made unnecessarily challenging for the average person to navigate by the pointed obfuscations of cynical opportunists, bigots, and demagogues on all sides of the political spectrum who see some advantage in sowing that incredibly dangerous confusion.
So, I'm calling my representatives. I'm having hard conversations with friends and family. I'm here, talking to you. I should have done it sooner. If you're Israeli and hurt by this statement, know that I want freedom, dignity, security and peace for you, and that every ounce of my political awareness believes whole-heartedly that the actions of your government are not only destroying innocent lives, but doing so to the detriment of you and your loved ones' safety. If you're American and feel lost and confused - I understand and empathize. This, the whole country, only works when we get involved. I am constantly haunted by the specter that maybe I have missed some crucial piece of information on this, or any, important world event: I'Il just have to make my peace with that self-doubt and trust my gut by going with Jewish Voice for Peace, Amnesty International, the Geneva Conventions, the United Nations, etc. And if you're Palestinian and reading this: I unreservedly support your right to life, to freedom, to happiness and human flourishing, to full enfranchisement and equal rights, to opportunity, prosperity and abundance, to the restoration of stolen property and land, and to a Free Palestine.
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cyanide-sippy-cup · 30 days
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Okay now that Anissa is in the show, I have to talk about THAT storyline. There's not much particularly new I can say that hasn't already been discussed but I need to gather my thoughts on what the show has to do to be successful in this regard. With that being said,
Spoilers for things the show has not covered yet
And massive Trigger Warning for discussions of sexual assault and post-assault trauma.
So first things out of the way, I do not believe they should cut it. The changes the show has made are ultimately pretty minor. A character change, order of events swapped. With them sticking as close as they are to the comic, I think it would be a massive problem to skip over it from a story telling standpoint.
From a real world standpoint, it's even more important. Male sexual assault is something that rarely gets depicted properly. It's usually a joke or a moment of triumph and that very much has had an effect on the way we look at it in the real world. And since Invincible is now a show pretty much everybody has their eyes on, choosing not to talk about it would be missing an opportunity to have a very real, very important conversation that very well could educate men on how to navigate and survive what they are going through.
I'm also worried that they'll be too afraid to actually say the word "rape". Lots of modern adaptations delete important discussions like Sokka's sexism or the gender discussions from Cowboy Bebop in order to avoid properly handling them and usually replace them with something worse in a sort of "all bark and no bite" liberalism. Directly saying it as it is is incredibly important to showing that talking about it is not only NOT shameful, but also necessary in getting the help you need and the healing that is necessary to survive.
And from a storytelling standpoint, saying it is important too. The moment where Mark tells Eve what happened is not only great in showing that telling someone is important but is also the moment where Mark is forced to admit the truth to himself. "She raped me." Those three words are a massive turning point for the whole story. Character dynamics change, this becomes a focus for most of Mark's loved ones, and it fundamentally changes his life.
Markus. This is a piece of the puzzle I don't see many talk about. While the rest is a showcase of what to do, Markus as a character is a showcase of what not to. It is so, so rare that a child conceived of a rape is properly depicted, nevermind discussed. From Mark's POV, he holds no ill will towards his son. He simply wants him to live a life on Earth with his family like he did and just can't be with him because he is needed in space. But to Markus, his dad hates him. He thinks his father keeps him on Earth so that he doesn't have to think about him. And this idea of his father's disgust contorts his image of himself. He begins to feel self-hatred, hatred towards his mother for making him this way, and hatred towards his father for abandoning him and leaving him to despise what he sees in the mirror. "You made Terra with love. I was made with hate."
Whether Mark meant it or not, his neglect of Markus ruined his early life. No matter how many friends he made, what groups he joined, they could never fill that hole. He idolized his father. I mean, how could he not? His father was, IS a great hero. A man who was out at that very moment leading the movement for universal peace. But because Mark barely visited him, he only had an idea of what his father was like. A man who sacrificed so much to help the world, who fought in space and yet still managed to save the Earth dozens of times. A man who had the time to help everyone and yet couldn't make time for him.
(Important edit: in no way do I mean to say Mark is obligated to be a part of his son's life, I meant that Mark chooses to be there but ultimately fails to do so and that causes issues)
And don't get me wrong, this story has some pretty glaring flaws. For example I think they tried a little too hard to teach Mark that the person who hurt him is human too and has positively affected the lives of many. Like absolutely there is a conversation to be had there but because they had to move on with the plot they kinda just went "HEY MARK DON'T BE SAD SHE'S COOL NOW AND ALSO SHE'S DEAD SO THERE'S NO POINT IN LINGERING OKAY BYYEEEEE". But I think instead of these flaws scaring the show away they should invite the show forward. It's an opportunity to improve on the story and discussions rather than shy away from it.
Oh and also harking back to my previous point in paragraph 2, there's another aspect that makes it stand out in an important discussion. If I'm remembering correctly, the comic makes it pretty clear that Mark could have overpowered Anissa but didn't for a couple of reasons, namely not wanting to hurt her. And that is SO important and SO rare. A discussion surrounding an assault victim who could have fought back but didn't where the victim is NOT portrayed as in the wrong and in fact just as worthy to be traumatized as any other victim is SO DAMN IMPORTANT and could legit change a lot in the way we look at these topics.
So yeah, I think the series should adapt it. Also I think it would be great if they brought on actual victims and experts and whatnot so their depiction could be just that much more focused around what needs to be said. Sorry if all this read as klunky, I have a lot of thoughts bouncing around up here that I kinda just spewed onto the page with no particular order. I'm also obviously not the most educated on the topic. My personal experiences with this were relatively minor and not something I've ever felt comfortable addressing. And yeah I know it's important no matter how "small" or "minor" it seems and I'm not trying to downplay any of that but I just don't really have the words to phrase that differently. Which is exactly why I think we NEED education and discussions about this stuff so that we DO know the words to navigate the topic.
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