#she is just as in denial of my ed as she was when i first got hospitalized

[moonhoures]

Thin Walls

🕷️ kinktober — day 19: masturbation🕸️

pairing: matthew (zb1) + reader (afab/fem)

genre: non-idol!au, college!au, smut

warnings: 18+, minors do not interact, explicit smut, masturbation (f and m), exhibitionism (? matthew hears reader masturbating through the wall, so i’m tagging this just to be safe)

word count: ~1.5k

synopsis: you become sexually frustrated over your crush for your next dorm neighbor and decide to (privately) do something about it, but fate is one cruel entity, so of course he hears everything

posted: october 20, 2023

“Looks like Taerae is out for a while,” Matthew noticed as the two of you strolled up to his dorm room.

The two of you lived in a co-ed dormitory at your local university, and your rooms neighbored each other. The dry erase board on his door showed a message from his roommate that said he would be back in a few hours.

You nodded, “Liz texted me earlier that they were going to study together after her last class.”

He twisted the handle of his door and turned back to you as he opened it, “In that case, would you like to hang out until they get back?”

You considered it for a moment, but decided against it. The last couple hours you had spent with him—in class plus the long walk back to your dorm—were spent with you daydreaming about him, and subsequently being in denial about it. You had known Matthew since your very first day of college. You were both in the same major, and he was super friendly. He was the one that approached you and began your friendship. It seemed to be some weird stroke of fate that his dorm room was next door to yours; an even weirder coincidence when your roommates started dating each other. Then you two were the single friends that were dragged into “double dates” all the time.

You really didn’t mind it, though, hanging out with the three of them. You liked all of them, but you had slowly begun to gravitate towards Matthew more. Maybe it was because the two of you were usually left to each other by the couple of the group. Maybe it was because you had more in common with him. Maybe it was because you had developed a crush on him . . . You had tried to deny that possibility for so long, calling your roommate crazy when she had suggested the two of you go out. But now, you just couldn’t deny it anymore. You did have feelings for Matthew. You just weren’t sure if he felt the same, and you were worried that if he knew, it would ruin everything. So you continued to act normal with him, or at least you tried.

“I’d love to, but I should really work on my paper for Mr. Jang’s class.”

Maybe it was the delusion or just the trick of the hallway lighting, but you swore you saw a look of disappointment in his eye, “Oh, okay, well maybe the four of us can hang out later?”

“Yeah, sure thing.”

Matthew watched you retreat to your door just a few feet away, and then your doors shut with soft thuds. Once your door was closed, you tossed your bag onto the floor and pressed your back against the hard surface behind you. You groaned, feeling like the lowly coward you were. Why did I say no? Of course I want to hang out with him. But then again, you had never hung out with him alone in his room. You hung out alone in public, but never in your dorm. You weren’t sure if you could handle that.

Trying to get your mind off of your neighbor, you decided to climb into your bed and go on the first app that drew your interest. After half an hour of flipping between apps, you still couldn’t stop thinking about him. You kept rewinding your day with him, thinking about the way his eyes crested as he smiled. The way he laughed. The subtle veins in his hands as he wrote notes in class. You thought about his face as he earnestly paid attention to you when you spoke, and you remembered trying to focus on what you were saying when really you were getting lost in his beauty. You remember holding yourself back from reaching up and booping the freckle by his eye. You remember biting back the thoughts of what kissing him would be like—were his lips as soft as they looked?

Eventually, you couldn’t take it anymore. You needed to let out some steam, so you did what any normal, horny woman would do. You locked your door and crawled back into bed, closing your eyes to let your mind wander as you dipped your fingers below the band of your underwear.

Now, you didn’t masturbate too often, considering you shared a room with someone. But you were still a woman with needs, and so you did what you had to do. It started with slow, teasing movements, just enough to get yourself wet. Then, you were picking up pace, spurred on by images that your mind created for you of the guy just on the other side of the wall. Your legs parted at the idea of his lips on yours. Your hand moved faster at the thought of his fingers along your skin. Your breath became rugged at the idea of his body over yours. You wanted him so bad, and it showed in how desperately you chased your own orgasm. It showed in the noises you made. Noises that weren’t as quiet as you thought they were . . .

Matthew was lying in his own bed, separated from your bed with just one, thin wall between the two. He had his head propped up with his pillow while he scrolled mindlessly through TikTok. Several minutes had passed since he parted ways with you, and he had told himself he would waste just a few more minutes before he started on his assignments. All of those plans, however, were tossed aside when he heard it, or rather, when he heard you.

At first, he didn’t think anything of the sound he heard. It just sounded like muffled talking that could have been from a podcast or a movie or a YouTube video you were watching. But then they got more frequent, and louder, and well, pornographic, for lack of a better word. Matthew found himself gulping, turning his phone off to focus on the noises coming from your room. Were they really what he was thinking they were? Were you really doing what he thought you were doing?

You got quiet for a moment, but then you let out another noise—a moan, undoubtedly. The sound went straight to his dick, making it stir under his briefs. He groaned softly, covering his pelvis with his hand before he cupped it gently. But there was no stopping it, he was growing harder by the second. All because you were masturbating a few feet away, just within his earshot.

Something about this made him feel guilty, dirty even, like he was intruding on you. But he wasn’t really, not intentionally. You had no idea he could hear you, or did you? Were you doing it on purpose to entice him? He knew from Taerae that Liz was certain you had a crush on him, but you had never acted differently around him than before. Was this your odd way of making your feelings clear to him? Was he just projecting his own desires?

Regardless, Matthew couldn’t take the strain against his jeans. Fuck it, he muttered to himself, unzipping his pants. He shoved the band of his pants and underwear down enough for him to pull out his cock. He lubed up his hand with spit, then he was fisting his cock to the sound of your voice. The soft moans and breathy whimpers were driving him insane.

You, on the other hand, were nearing your end. The scene in your head of Matthew fucking you was getting too real too fast, and soon enough you were diving off the edge into your climax. Your toes curled and your muscles tensed as you felt the intense warmth spread throughout your groin. You were so enthralled in your release that you moaned out his name without even thinking.

And of course, your eavesdropper didn’t miss it. His hand came to a halt over his shaft after his name fell from your lips, and then your room fell quiet. Matthew couldn’t believe what he had just heard. He was wondering if he had fallen asleep watching TikToks and was dreaming this entire time. But no, he was wide awake, and he was close to cumming at the thought of you masturbating to him.

He thought for a moment about just finishing quietly and going on about his day, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to act normal around you after this. He would have to confront you—and the sooner, the better. So he decided now was as good a time as any to put his cock away, zip his pants back up, and get out of bed. Next thing he knew, he was knocking on your door, waiting for you to open it. It took a few moments, but then the knob was unlocking and twisting.

“Hey, uh, did you need something?” you asked once you opened the door, eyes slightly wide when you realized it was him. The first thought that came to mind was had he heard you?

“No, but it sounded like you could use my help.”

— taglist #1

@jaylaxies @xiaoting999 @kookthief @zaddywilk @wonrangwoo @pedriswrld @ikykleeknowww @odisdad @abby-grace @jungwonloveer @pinklemonadeflav @celestialplatinum @luvkpopp @nlklstan @kisses4denji @jenos-eye-smiles @a-l-i-y-a @channiesprincess @bekah931215 @heerinnie @fairygirl18 @cinnikoi @im-ur-calico-cat @unlikelysublimekryptonite @k-drizzle @iguanas-world

#zb1 smut #zerobaseone smut #matthew smut #seok matthew smut #zb1 matthew smut #[🕷️] kinktober 23 #zb1 fanfiction #zb1 imagines #zb1 scenarios #zb1 x reader #zb1 matthew fanfic #zb1 matthew imagines #zb1 matthew scenarios #zb1 matthew x reader #seok matthew x reader

[catherinnn]

Thigh High Boots

request: @kellyxo1 asked "Idk if its weird it just popped into my head but maybe a eddie x reader where hes been busy with his campain and paying no attention to reader and she teases him with wearing thigh high boots and nothing else and she teases him and they make love"

warnings: SMUT +18, p in v, oral (f), fingering, orgasm denial, dirty talk, unprotected sex, cursing, not proofread sorry :)

words: 2k

masterlist

“Baby, I’m back!” you shout from the door closing it.

“Hey” he says without taking his eyes off the sheet of paper he’s writing and drawing on.

“You’re still with that?” you complain.

He has spent the entire afternoon writing the new campaign. He was having a hard time with his creativity and imagination lately. He couldn’t think of anything, nothing that was good enough. You were gone for a couple of hours to help Robin buy a new outfit to wear for a date she has —and you bought something for yourself too while you were there.

“Yeah, I had to start again” he quickly answers. It was the truth though, at first he started with something, but as he read it again, he realized it was too basic, he had definitely wrote something similar before. So he threw that away and forced himself to keep thinking until he got something good. He started with a new idea, but he still was having a hard time. He had to finish it though, the campaign was in three days.

“Eds, you’ve been with that all day” you complain again.

“Shh, wait, wait” he lift a hand making a stop sing so he could keep writing.

Your eyes widened at this attitude, you were clearly bothering him. He kept writing, completely ignoring you. You sigh and walk away thinking of what you could do.

More time passes, maybe half an hour, and he still didn’t even lift his head from the paper. You could see his frown or his stressed expression, cursing under his breath or mumbling something to then write it on the paper in front of him.

You sigh louder. Nothing.

You get into the bathroom with what you bought. Closing the door and opening the box inside the bag, you take out your new thigh high boots. Black, leather, shiny.

You have had your eye on them for a while, and when Robin asked you to come shopping with her you had your opportunity to finally purchase them. You came home exited to try them on and show them to your boyfriend whom you were a 100% sure would go crazy over them.

The problem was he’s ignoring you. But you have an idea.

You take your clothes off. Shirt, pants, shoes, underwear. You put the boots on and you feel powerful, sexy, confident.

You walk out of the bathroom with a smirk, feeling yourself. Eddie’s still clueless, eyes and attention completely taken by his work.

You walk over to him until you’re behind the chair he’s sitting on. You hug him from behind, slowly passing your hands from his shoulders to his arms and land on his torso.

He keeps erasing words on the paper and writing over them.

“Eds, can I get your attention for just one second?” you whisper on his ear.

“Mhm”

You walk a few steps to stand in front of him, still touching his arm with one hand.

His face changes so beautifully. From a stressed frown and faintly pursed lips, to a slightly open mouth, doe eyes going up and down your body, not deciding what to land on. Your pretty face, startling breasts, voluptuous hips, or black thigh high boots making him go week on the knees.

“I wanted to show you what I got today, do you like them?” you say innocently, like you’re not completely naked but the sinful pair of boots on you.

He whispers your name, almost whimpering.

You very slowly spin around to show him all sides of the boots on you, but the boots weren’t the only thing he was looking at. Gazing at your back and ass first.

“What do you think?” you tease.

“Baby” he definitely whimpers now. “Fuck”

“What? What do you want” you softly ask him.

“Want you” he simply says.

“Okay” you move the notebook and the pens on the table to a side, forgetting about them, and take a sit on the table right in front of him. You open your legs planting your covered feet on either side of him on the chair. His gaze goes straight to your pussy. “I think you know what to do now”

His face quickly shoves into your centre and you moan surprised. He starts making out with your pussy making you even more wet.

“Mmh, slowly baby” your hand stokes his hair and he slows down running his tongue through your folds. “Fuck”

Then he focuses on your clit, flicking it with the tip of his tongue, his hands grabbing your thighs that are on both sides of his head. “Eddie, you’re doing so good baby”

He moans at the praise and you keep talking to him, making his erection hurt. “Right there, what a good boy, so good for me baby” One of his hands leaves your thigh to start palming himself through his jeans.

“You better not be doing what I think you are” you say and his eyes open to watch you with guilt. “Are you touching yourself without asking me first?”

“Please, it hurts” he complains.

“Never told you to stop eating me out” you order and he goes back to your pussy. “You were doing so well, why do have to misbehave?” you say disappointed. “First you ignore me all day acting like I’m not here and paying more attention to your game than me, and now you’re not even grateful I’m not punishing you but also you touch without permission”

His tongue stops moving, he slowly pushes his head back and a smug smirk forms on his face.

“What are you doing?” you ask getting angry.

“You’re such a spoiled brat” he laughs pursing his lips. “Was that why you did all that fucking show for? Cause you needed attention?”

“Eddie-“

“No. Get off the table and turn around” he orders now. You move slowly still doubting. “Quicker baby” he mocks your tone from before.

You stand facing the table with him now stood up behind you, no longer sat down. He pushes you down so your front is pressed against the table. You moan surprised. His hands run through your back, your ass and your legs covered by the boots.

“I love these new boots by the way, you look absolutely sinful with them” he says. His hands go back up to your ass, groping it, and smacking it once. One hand lowers to your core, running his fingers through it and slowly pushing two in, you moan. “Such an attention whore” he goes quicker, you can hear the squelching from how wet you are.

His thumb starts working on your clit and you try to hold onto something but all you find is the endless table. You don't even try to be quiet while his fingers work inside of you, he curls them touching just the right spots.

You clench around his fingers and he notices. “You’re gonna cum baby?” He asks and you nod. “Answer me, use your words”

“Yes, Eddie!” you moan. And just when you’re about to release, just when you were feeling the pleasure build up in your belly, it suddenly stops, he took his hand out. A whine comes out of your mouth before you could even think about it, a sign of complaint.

“You think you can act the way you did and still cum anytime you want?” he asks sarcastically. “Such a slut, coming out naked wearing only these fucking boots, just for me to look at you for a bit. Was it too long of day without my attention on you? I don't know how you did it before me, princess"

If he was hoping for an answer he didn't get one. I don't think the right expression for your state right now could be 'fucked out' because you didn't even get to cum. Maybe it was because of that, your mind could only think of his fingers, arms, torso, tattoos, neck, lips. His dick. Basically just Eddie.

Eddie Eddie Eddie.

Who, speaking of, lifts your upper body so you're standing up against him. "You okay, princess?" he softly asks, no longer teasing or rhetorically asking.

You nod you head. "Just want you, please, Eds"

"Want you too, baby" He confesses, you can tell he's softer now. He takes his shirt off and lowers his pants along with his boxers. He takes a sit on the chair behind him and helps you turn around so you can sit on his lap. "Are you comfy there?"

"Mhm, very" you bite your lip and give a smile.

He starts kissing you, bringing your body even closer to his, chest to chest. His hands run all of your back, to your ass and thighs. Your hands tug at his hair which makes him groan against your mouth.

It's a heated kiss, to show how much you need each other right now. He positions the head of his cock on your entrance and you understand what he wants. You push it in, slowly, until it's all in. He groans louder, you moan higher.

You start going up and down with his help, he's holding your hips and guiding your moves. Up and down, side to side, front to back. Moves that just make it feel amazing.

You keep kissing, swallowing each other's moans that are louder and louder each time. He kisses your neck, or more like attacks it with kisses, licks and bites that leave marks behind.

"Fuck, Eddie!" that's all you can say, a variation of profanities and his name. But he loves it and drives him crazier than anything else.

He grabs your hips harder holding you in place and starts bucking his thrusts upwards hitting your spot even harder.

"Eddie! Oh, fuck!"

"Princess, fuck, you make me go feral. I fucking love you so -mghh" his voice is groaning and he the only thing he can think of is harder, faster.

You start playing with your clit and he's mesmerized by the sight. Your pussy swallowing him and taking every inch of his fat cock, your puffy and wet clit being played with by your tiny and delicate fingers. He moans louder.

You watch his pretty face, he's checks are red and a slight layer of sweat is making his skin shiny, his mouth is opened in a rounded position, and his eyes are fighting to stay open just so he could watch you.

"Yes baby, play with your clit, fuck you're so wet you're dripping onto my lap, so fucking tight"

Your other hand placed on his shoulder starts grabbing harder pushing your nails into his skin. Your moans are incontrollable.

"'m cuming!" you manage to say.

"Yes please, cum for me, cum on my cock, make a bigger mess baby" he begs and it makes you cum right there with a scream. He keeps fucking into you. "I'm almost there, sweetheart, oh fuck I'm-"

He groans against the skin of your shoulder, grabbing your hips even harder, leaving the marks of his fingerprints. He stops moving once all of his cum is inside of you.

After a few minutes of catching your breath, Eddie helps you to the couch and takes care of cleaning you up.

“Now every time you wear those boots, I’m gonna get hard” you laugh at his joke.

“I’m gonna wear them often, then” you joke now.

“I’m sorry for being a dick today, I shouldn’t have ignored you like I did” he states. “It’s just I’m running out of ideas and I have the campaign is in three days and I feel like everything I have so far is shit”

“It’s fine Eds, I’m just worried about you, I don’t want you to overexert yourself” you explain. “I know you’re against postponing the campaigns but maybe you should consider it. They would understand… and if they don’t I’m gonna have a talk with them”

In the end, Eddie did postpone it for next week. Gareth and Mike were the only ones who got mad, but after Dustin had talked to them, they finally understood.

Dustin had been worried about Eddie too, noticing how stressed he got every time the campaign was mentioned, and was the first one to defend his dungeon master before you even had the chance.

You helped Eddie write the campaign. You read what he had so far and realized you were right from the start, he was overthinking it. But you helped him change the things he didn’t like and helped him with the ending. Finally the campaign was held on Monday, so didn’t waste any more time.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things imagine #eddie munson imagine

[bxbygxxsx]

💘 pinned post, please read 💘

You MUST be over the age of 18 to interact with my blog. Do not follow if you are an ageless blog or a blog under the age of 18, you will be blocked and reported.

Hiii, I’m Goose. I’m a 23 year old bisexual and poly submissive ☺️ I’m from the uk and I use she/her pronouns.

I have a partner, I refer to him as L on tumblr and as stated previously I am polyamorous so I sometimes have other partners as well. Rest assured any and all my partners will know about my tumblr and I am free to message anyone I would like.

DNI - Minors/ageless/blank blogs, anyone who doesn’t agree with lgbtqia+ rights, sexists, racists, eating disorder blogs/if you post things that romanticise eds or anyone who’s going to be disrespectful to me or anyone else.

If you are an over 40 male, please don’t interact with my posts as it makes me super uncomfortable and I will block you.

Please do not add captions to my posts, whether they are text posts or photos. Keep any thoughts in the tags!

I’m not interested in sexting with random people, getting dick pictures of random people and having rape threats off random people, so my messages are for mutuals ONLY. Please don’t ask if we can be mutuals, I follow who I want to follow and that’s that. Saying that, just because we are mutuals doesn’t mean I necessarily want to interact w you in that way so please don’t be sexual towards me without getting my consent first.

My asks are on but as previously mentioned, I don’t want super sexual messages. Questions and compliments are all good but please don’t send me sexual scenarios etc.

If we’re mutuals feel free to spam me but if we aren’t pls don’t, it’s annoying having loads of notifications from one person only.

When I share a post/write a post and I talk about dicks I am 100% also referring to them being a strap/dildo :)

I add everything to my queue, mutuals if I spam you it’s more than likely me adding to my queue!!

I will try and remember to add to this if I remember something else.

⬇️ kinks below, tw for some rough ones⬇️

✨yes please✨ - praise, orgasm control, orgasm denial, overstimulation, squirting, anal, impact play, marking/bruising, cnc, somno, breeding, knife play, ddlg, degradation, creampies, blood, choking

❌limits❌ - shit, humiliation, feet, objectification, bimbofication, misogyny

#my frequently used tags will be: #bxbygxxsx #rambles #answered asks #my audios #pretty people #cutest moots

[explorevenus]

ride the lightning - steddie x reader

nsfw (18+) - minors dni !!

word count: 7k+

tags/warnings: reader is afab and uses she/her pronouns, daddy steve, master eddie, sub/brat reader, praise, degradation (includes use of slut/whore a couple times), spanking, threesome, thigh riding, edging, orgasm denial, restraint (reader gets handcuffed for a min), mild dacryphilia, oral (m+f receiving), fingering (f receiving), anal (m receiving)

(^^^ i got carried away heheheh)

a/n: not new to the fandom but this is my first stranger things fic so i'm incredibly sorry if any of this reads ooc !!! i'm also not,,,, the best at writing in second person so this was originally written in first person and then gradually converted over, i hope it doesn't sound awkward ;w; last apology of the day is for formatting, i haven’t posted to tumblr in years so be patient w me lol

for the record this takes place in an au where eddie never d*ed-- u and eddie and steve share an apartment ♥ aka the best au

my ao3 ♥

masterlist ♥

fic under the cut !! thanks so much for reading !!

  It was fun to push Steve's buttons sometimes. Of the three of you, he certainly had the shortest fuse.

  It was fun to pick little arguments with him about meaningless things until he'd reach his wits end and scold you for being difficult. It was fun to wear short skirts around him, to watch his strong hands tighten around whatever he's holding as he'd look up the length of your legs with his lip between his teeth. It was fun to tease him in social settings, like parties, for example, with 'accidental' lingering touches to the front of his pants, and suggestive whispers right into his ear when no one was watching. Or when his friends were watching, so he'd have no choice but to swallow his reaction.

  Sure, it was all fun and games, until you were being escorted out of said party by Steve himself, dragging you along by your bicep with his fist closed so tightly around you that it felt like a blood pressure test, and he was seething so strongly with annoyance that he wouldn't even look at you. Under normal circumstances you might not have felt so confident, but this was the first outing you'd attended in quite a while, and your tolerance for alcohol had tanked considerably in that time, it would seem. Just two strong drinks had you stumbling, and for that you were oddly thankful that Steve was holding you strictly upright and moving, even if he was seething.

  You couldn't stop giggling as he dragged you along. "Steve, come on, don't be mad," You teased. "I said I was sorry!"

  But he didn't say anything in response, his cold stare unmoving as he walked you through the chilly, sobering air-- it was a short distance to the car, though, and once you were inside with the doors safely shut, all bets were off.

  "'Sorry' doesn't even begin to cover it, princess," Now he was the one laughing, but it wasn't jovial and light-hearted like yours, no. It was devilish, patronizing, like he knew something you didn't. It sent a shiver throughout your body, and your thighs shifted in response. Observant as ever, Steve noticed your movements almost immediately, and he swatted at your knee. "Stop that," He demanded lowly. "When we get home, you are so dead."

  In your anxiousness the drive felt dizzyingly short, and as he turned into the parking lot of the apartments, your eyes caught sight of a certain big brown van parked by the stairs-- a vast majority of that confidence you felt earlier was sucked out of you in an instant. Eddie's home from rehearsal early. You knew that Steve was going to use this to his advantage, and when you looked over to see him grinning widely at the van like he'd just won the fucking lottery, you figured he was way ahead of you. 

  Oh, you were dead alright. You were doomed.

  "S-Steve," You reached for his hand, eyes pleading up at him. "Don't--"

  He parked and got out so quickly that it seemed like one smooth motion, and before you knew it he was opening your door and grabbing you by the wrist. Thankfully there was no one around, but still you felt your cheeks and the tips of your ears burning hot already. "That's not how this works, (Y/N)," Apparently you weren't keeping up with him well enough, as he jerked your arm forward to pull you along with him once you reached the top of the stairs. "You don't get to poke the fucking bear all night and then act innocent when you decide you don't want to face the consequences."

  Steve threw the front door open carelessly, like it was just another puny thing in his way, kicking it shut once again as soon as you'd made it through the doorway. Eddie startled at the sound, looking up from where he sat on the couch. Music sheets and pages of notes were scattered around him, and he added what was currently in his hand to the pile before raising an eyebrow, "Uh oh, what did I miss?"

  "Someone I know has been a needy fucking brat all night," Tossing his keys on to the counter, still gripping your arm hard enough to leave a bruise, probably, Steve began to walk you over to Eddie, and your heart retreated further into your throat with every step you took. "I am sick and god damn tired of it!" Steve shouted, letting go of your arm just to flip up the back of your skirt, striking your ass so quickly and unexpectedly that you stumbled forward at the force of it, nearly losing your footing. You couldn't help the shrill yelp that came from you, and as the sting radiated outward you couldn't bring yourself to look at either of them. It was dawning on you that perhaps you'd dug yourself a much deeper hole than you'd originally thought. It was like a switch flipped, and you went from damage control mode into fight or flight mode, an internal battle which 'flight' won instantaneously.

  But, Steve knows you all too well, of course-- you didn't even have a chance to dash to the other side of Eddie before Steve hooked an arm around your waist, pulling you back into him with a level of ease that served all too well to remind you of his strength. Eddie was stunned as he watched this unfold before him, brown eyes widening further when Steve took you by the hips and forced you into Eddie's lap, straddling his right thigh. You sucked in a breath as your center made contact with his ripped jeans, the thin seat of your panties being the only barrier between your sex and the rough denim. Face burning, you let your eyes wander the many patches and buttons on his vest as a means to avoid eye contact as his guitar-weathered hands slyly took the place of Steve's over your hips.

  Steve cupped your throat from behind, cradling your jaw between his thumb and forefinger so that he could redirect your gaze straight to Eddie. Your heart was pounding in your chest, that familiar warmth growing between your legs as you struggled to keep your composure, but Eddie was drinking in the sight of you like you were the best present he'd ever been delivered, big red bow and all. Steve came close to your side, lips brushing the shell of your ear as he gave you one simple order, "Ride him."

  Stunned, you whimpered, "D-Daddy--"

  "I am not going to ask you again," He squeezed your throat, just for a quick moment, a reminder of his strength over yours, before growling in your ear, "Ride. Him. And don’t even think about finishing unless I tell you to."

  Eddie's fingertips pressed firmly into your hips, rocking you back and forth gently, like he was encouraging you to move on your own. "What's the matter, princess?" Eddie teased with a handsome smirk that bared his teeth. "Sounds t'me like this is what you wanted."

  He wasn't wrong, but that was precisely why you couldn't trust it. It felt too easy, too good to be true, and that made you insanely suspicious of Steve's intentions. Still, you were desperate for the friction, and you couldn't help yourself from beginning to follow Eddie's movements, however hesitantly at first. Your mouth fell open in a soft gasp, but you quickly rectified by biting your lip and allowing your eyes to fall closed. Steve always treated humiliation like a sport he was determined to win, which made you want to deny him the satisfaction that much more. Your shaking hands found purchase clutching at the waist of Eddie's denim vest, and you flinched a bit, peeking your eyes open when he took your cheek in the palm of his hand, cool rings resting along your jaw. 

  "Hey," Eddie spoke softly. "Use your words."

  But how were you even supposed to answer him without admitting defeat? Frustrated, you let out a sigh and found yourself subconsciously grinding harder into his lap-- it was much easier, and much more alluring, to focus on the feeling. Still, Eddie was waiting on an answer, and it was a known rule of theirs that you were expected to respond when spoken to. 

  It wasn't a coincidence that they also happened to be great at talking you into walls, and loved doing so.

  "Master, s'not fair," You slurred, once you'd finally found the words. "I-I wanted to ride more than your thigh..."

  Eddie shivered, grasp on your hips tightening, but Steve could only laugh. "Not fair, huh? Isn't that a shame?" He taunted in your ear. "You were acting like such a brat all night, clinging to my arm like a needy fucking slut, bending over in that little skirt and flirting with other people right in front of me, because you're just so starved for attention at home, aren't you? Fucking pathetic."

  Now Eddie was laughing along with him as your ears burned, and he gasped lowly in mock offense, "And here I sat all night thinking you were out there being a good girl for your daddy. Sweetheart, how could you?"

  Fuck. I should've known that Steve was gonna rat me out. Every last bit of hope you had for getting Eddie on your side was dwindling away before your eyes. Your gaze fell to his lap, the need inside you only growing with every movement, every pass of your hips over his warm thigh. "I said I was sorry..." You tried to rectify.

  "Not good enough," Steve was quick to interject, his hold on your jaw tightening again so that he could correct your line of sight. "Eyes forward, baby. Don't make me ask you again."

  Your cheeks burned red with humiliation as Eddie met your eyes with such smug pity. "There you go, sweet girl," He hummed, cradling your cheek with one hand and your hip with the other, pressing you down just a little bit harder against his thigh, grin widening as you quivered. "So you can follow directions." He teased. Steve let out a breathy chuckle in response.

  "Master..." You whined, doing your best to resist every last part of you that wanted so badly to avoid eye contact.

  "What, not funny? Daddy thought it was pretty funny."

  Suddenly, and very much without warning, the palm of Steve's hand came down hard against your ass, making you cry out both in pain and surprise, bucking forward into Eddie's lap in a way that sent a jolt of white hot pleasure through your core. Your eyes rimmed with a thin barrier of tears. Steve spoke into your ear, "I'm getting pretty sick of your attitude, (Y/N). I think you need to lighten up."

  Your knuckles whitened around the sides of Eddie's thick leather vest, your pace quickening as you rutted desperately into his thigh in search of that feeling again. Nuzzling into Eddie's palm for comfort in the wake of your spanking, you responded to Steve in the best way you knew how, "I'm sorry, daddy."

  He took a moment, as if he were pondering whether or not to accept your apology, but ultimately his grasp softly withdrew from your throat, and he pressed a kiss to your temple. "Thank you, doll."

  But there was something... off about his tone. Under normal circumstances you would have turned to look at him, but you couldn't chance taking your eyes off of Eddie if you wanted this to go even slightly your way. Thankfully Eddie was the one to break the eye contact first, glancing down to where your clothed cunt met his thigh. He smirked, glancing back up at you through his messy curls. "That feel good, baby?" 

  "Yes, master," You answered obediently, resisting the urge to look for yourself, as you had a feeling he was trying to trick you into getting yourself into more trouble. No matter, you could certainly feel what he was probably talking about-- the seat of your panties was thoroughly slick with arousal, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest. "It feels good. S-So good."

  "Looks like it-- you're makin' a pretty fuckin' mess all over me."

  Your trembling hands travelled lower in place of your eyes, until the palm of your right hand slid over the front of Eddie's jeans; you felt his cock twitch at the contact, stiffening beneath your touch, but still, you waited a second to test whether or not he'd stop you-- or if Steve would, for that matter, who seemed awfully quiet.

  But they didn't.

  Your heart leapt into your throat with excitement, and you began to palm him through his jeans. You felt him shiver beneath you, and watched as he drew his bottom lip between his teeth, oak wood eyes darkening almost to black. He would never admit it, but his cheeks had a rosy glow, too.

  But you should have known it couldn't be that easy.

  You flinched as Steve's hand came down on your shoulder from behind, and you froze in place, the pace of your hips faltering for a second. "Did I say you could touch him?" He asked.

  But your brain was becoming rather fuzzy with lust, and you knew you were slipping further and further into subspace with each passing second. You knitted your eyebrows together, tilting your chin just enough to look at him. Steve's hard-handed approach was starting to get on your nerves. "You never said I couldn't." You sassed.

  Steve scoffed, tugging gently at your hair just to throw you off that much more. "I shouldn't have to," He scolded. "Good girls don't just get whatever they want because they want it. Tell me, (Y/N), what do good girls do?"

  You continued to massage Eddie's stiffening cock through his jeans, mouth watering as you couldn't seem to get enough of the feeling of him growing hot and hard under your hand. He gripped your hips, taking control of your movements until you were nearly back where you'd left off, and when you realized in a brief moment of clarity that Steve was still waiting on an answer, you sighed in frustration. You could hardly remember what he'd even asked. "Daddy..."

  "Tell me," Steve tugged at your hair again, a little harder this time. "Come on, baby, I know you know it. Tell me what good girls do when they want something."

  So that's where he's going with this. You huffed quietly, "A-Ask nicely..."

  "I can't hear you," He taunted. "Speak up for me, please. Use your big girl voice."

  "Good girls ask nicely," You spoke louder this time, making sure to enunciate, letting yourself tip backwards into Steve’s chest as that coil in your stomach began to tighten, trying at least a little bit to hold yourself accountable and withdraw your hands, but you just wanted Eddie to feel as good as you felt. Shakily, you continued, "G-Good girls say please."

  With a wicked and devious grin, Eddie began to bounce his leg, watching smugly as you arched and whined in pleasure, breaking your promise to Steve just for a brief second as your eyes fluttered shut, though you quickly corrected. Eddie hummed, "That's right, princess, you know better, don't you?"

   You nodded lazily.

  Reaching around you, Steve grabbed your arms and propped you upright, forcing them behind your back-- you didn't have a lot of time to wonder what he was doing before cool, familiar metal settled around your wrists, tightening with a few clicks.

  So he wasn't just being quiet earlier, he was grabbing our cuffs from the bedroom. Sneaky.

  "Y'know, since you can't seem to follow simple directions," His words were cold, but you could practically hear Steve grinning through his tone. "It's a shame, really. I know how badly you wanna touch your Master, but naughty fucking sluts don't get that privilege, do they?"

  You shivered, finding it increasingly hard to focus on his questioning as you slipped closer and closer to the edge, but never close enough. You wanted more, needed more, but at this point you had no chance in hell of gaining their permission. It would be embarrassing to even ask now. Instead you bit your tongue, shaking your head softly in defeat as you answered Steve, “No, daddy, they don’t...”

   He gave you a patronizing pat to the head. "Now you're getting it."

   Eddie was eating up every last second of this interaction, though it was evident that his own arousal was becoming... dire. He continued to bounce his leg beneath you, cradling you so closely toward the edge, but equally so he was shifting where he sat in what you guessed was an attempt to alleviate the pressure. Maybe I can work with this...

   "Master," You panted, knuckles white behind your back as you gazed deeply into his round, soul rendering eyes, humping his thigh as fluidly and artfully as you could manage in your state of pleasure. "Please... may I please suck your cock?"

   His lip upturned into a grin, his hot body rumbling beneath you as he shivered at your words. Quickly, he glanced over to Steve for input-- after all, it really was up to Steve-- and then he turned back to you, and you could hardly read the look on his face. You wanted so badly to shed him of his clothes, to feel every inch of his hot skin on yours, to do him the kindness of relieving that ache. Suddenly your own clothes felt that much more confining, and you huffed softly in frustration.

   Finally, Eddie answered lowly, "Sorry, princess, daddy says no."

   Your face twisted into one of confusion and annoyance. "What?" You turned to look at Steve, uncaring of the fact that that technically meant defying him-- he looked infuriatingly proud of himself, arms crossed casually as he flashed you that famous smirk. He should be glad my hands are bound right now. "I asked nicely! I said please!"

   "Yes you did, honey, and I'm so proud of you for that," He said, tone dripping with amusement at your reaction. "I just don't think you've learned your lesson. What do you think, Eds?"

   You quickly turned back to look at Eddie, who looked equally pompous. "Gotta agree with ya there, Harrington," He declared, and your jaw dropped in offense. Eddie then continued, "Can't just let her get away with whatever she wants."

   Now that was the nail in the coffin. You'd lost Eddie to Steve's cause.

  By now it was becoming highly difficult to hold yourself together-- you hadn't even finished and you were beginning to feel the bittersweet start of overstimulation, every bump of your clothed clit against Eddie's thigh resulting in a sharp jolt. A fat tear tumbled over your cheek, soon followed by another. You took your lip between your teeth and dug your nails into your palms, shifting in your restraints. "D-Daddy, please, it hurts..."

  "I know it does, princess. Maybe it'll teach you a thing or two."

  You groaned, hips stuttering-- even a break would have been nice. Of course you had a safe word, and you knew that if you used it they would stop in a heartbeat and dote on you to no end, but you were determined to see this through, to prove to them that you could be good. You would do almost anything to get back into their good graces at this point, and you knew Steve liked a challenge. It wasn't going to be easy, but good behavior must hail a good reward, right?

  Your head felt light, fuzzy and borderline mushy with bliss, and as much as you wanted to beg them to ease up, it was probably fair to say you shouldn't hold your breath on that, as if you could even find the words to speak if you tried. It was sort of embarrassing how easily they managed to toy with your brain and body, to walk you right where they wanted you with a level of prowess that reminded you well just how deeply they knew you, sometimes in ways you didn't even know yourself. Eddie's calloused hands smoothed upward from your hips, rings cold on your burning skin as his touch passed slyly beneath your shirt. After so much anticipation, it felt truly divine, and you found yourself arching into him eagerly. He simply chuckled, letting his palms slide over the globes of your breasts, thumbs toying with your already hardened nipples-- he squeezed softly, eyes raking up the length of you as you squirmed.

  "So pretty and soft," He whispered to himself, though the praise was not lost on you. "Our sweet little princess... if only you could behave yourself, hm?"

  With a frown you sighed, "I can behave, master, I promise... m'trying to be good for you..."

  "Oh, you are now, aren't you?" He teased. "Tell me what you want, baby, and maybe I'll give it to you."

  A flurry of butterflies swept through your stomach, and you rutted deeper into him. "Master, please, m'so close, need to cum, please..." 

  "Hm... what do you think, Stevie?" Eddie asked, glancing over your shoulder to your superior. "Think she's earned it?"

  The palm of Steve's hand came down softly on your shoulder, caressing the junction of your neck and shoulder with a featherlight touch that only made your body burn hotter. He hummed in thought for a moment, always a fan of dragging things out just to torture you, but surprised you with his response. "Actually, I have a better idea," He said, taking advantage of both yours and Eddie's surprise to pull you up suddenly from where you sat, tossing you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing. You whined pathetically at the sudden loss of stimulation, shivering as the cool air hit your soaked panties, and as Steve turned the two of you around to walk you the short distance to the bedroom, you caught sight of Eddie eyeing the considerable wet patch you'd left on the thigh of his ripped jeans before snapping out of it quickly to follow you.

  As you entered the bedroom, you could hardly stop your mind from running wild pondering over what Steve's 'better idea' could possibly be. He could be very hard to read when he wanted to be, one of many devilish tools in his box. When the three of you first began seeing each other you could hardly believe that Steve had it in him, let alone in comparison to Eddie, but it would seem he was more and more determined to prove you wrong by the day.

  Not that you were particularly complaining.

  Steve delivered you unto the bed somewhat unceremoniously, and as you squirmed to reposition yourself upright with limited use of your hands, you looked up to be met with the sight of the two of them joined at the mouth before you. They had wasted absolutely no time going in on each other, lips colliding in a saccharine display of tongue and teeth, saliva changing hands every time they connected. 

  Steve playfully took hold of Eddie's bottom lip in his teeth, teasing him with the little bite to catch him off guard so he could nudge his jacket off of his tattooed shoulder. Eddie gave him a curious look but said nothing, opting instead to take it upon himself to disrobe-- slowly of course, after all he was providing a show for two-- and as the last of his clothes were discarded to the floor you were captivated by the extravagance of his naked body. Steve's sly hand travelled lower from where it began at the nape of his neck, releasing a bouncy coil of Eddie's messy hair from around his index finger as he felt over the expanse of his chest, fingertips brushing over Eddie's sensitive nipples, feeling over his soft stomach until he began following his happy trail down to where Eddie really needed him. 

  You and Eddie both let out a soft gasp as Steve's hand closed over Eddie's woefully hard cock, teasing him with a few lazy pumps of the hand before Steve turned to look at you, thumb rolling over the reddened, weeping head. "You said you wanted to blow him, didn't you?" Steve asked.

  Your face burned at the pointed accuracy of that question-- after all, you did indeed say that-- and you nodded eagerly. "Yes, daddy, pretty please," You begged. "Want it so bad--"

  "Then go ahead, sweetheart," He finally relented. "Suck your master's cock for me, like a good little whore."

  He wouldn't have to tell you twice. You scrambled clumsily to your knees, scooting as closely to the edge of the bed as you could manage, heart racing with excitement, and every beat throbbed through your core. You could hardly wait to take care of him. Eddie stepped toward you at Steve's command, cradling the back of your head so lovingly as he threaded his fingers into your hair and scratched. It took a conscious effort not to start dozing off at his affection-- there was a much more important job to be done, of course. But now you were really wishing you could use your hands.

  Your master shuddered at your touch as you lapped delicately at his hard cock, and as you licked a coy stripe from the base of him all the way up to the tip, he scratched your head affectionately again before he gathered your hair away from your face, holding it firmly at the base of your neck-- a favorite look of his on you, communicated all too well by the look on his face. Eddie smirked handsomely down at you, "Open wide, doll, just like I taught you."

  Practically on cue your mouth fell open to receive, knuckles whitening behind your back as you took him slowly, thankful that despite your active punishment, Eddie was still forgiving enough to allow you to pace yourself in adjusting to him. With a shaky breath from your nose you sank almost all the way down, savoring the familiar taste of him on your tongue for one final tranquil moment before he could no longer restrain himself, his hips rutting forward to force himself deeper down your throat. Your eyes slipped shut with a muffled whimper at the force of it, suppressing a gag to the best of your ability-- he'd been teased just as much as you had, to be fair, so you could empathize with how he felt.

  He soon found his rhythm, letting out a satisfied groan as he held you in place to fuck your mouth. Your head swam with lust and, well, lowered oxygen intake, concocting an oddly blissful feeling that was somewhat akin to being choked-- you moaned softly around his thick cock, becoming wetter at the intimate pleasure that was allowing him to use you as he pleased, though you could hardly believe that was possible by now. The vibration of the sound you'd made only served to spur him on, drawing a shiver from deep within him. His grip on your hair tightened almost painfully.

  You felt the mattress dip just behind you, and you couldn't help the way you spooked at the unexpected nature of it-- both of them chuckled at your response. Steve's familiar touch began to toy at the insides of your thighs. If your mouth weren't otherwise occupied you might have said something, but alas... He knew you were hanging on by a thread already, this was just cruel. No matter, you didn't have the option to protest this time-- you felt the ghost of his fingertips sliding upward beneath your skirt, until his palm closed around your cunt through your panties. You let out a quiet whine, inadvertently attempting to rock back into his touch, but the more you followed him, the more he pulled away.

  You were met with a harsh swat to the ass, making you yip, tears threatening to fall again-- Eddie was not letting up with his bruising pace on your throat, and you were already way too sensitive. This wasn't going to be easy. Steve chided with a click of the tongue, "So greedy tonight, aren't you? Be patient, honey, and if you're good I'll let you finish."

  Excited at the prospect of this, you shot him a sideways glance, eyes wide and practically spelling out, you promise?

  As if he could read your mind, he rolled his eyes and smiled, "I promise, okay? Just trust me."

  What other option did you have but to trust him anyway? You obediently refocused your attention to Eddie, reveling in the sight of his inked body towering over you, fucking ruthlessly into your throat, and you hummed contently, tearful lashes fluttering in awe of him. You flinched when Steve's touch returned to you again, this time tugging at the buttons at the front of your crop top, freeing your chest for them both. You whimpered in pleasure as he tugged and pinched at your nipples, forcing yourself not to arch into his touch, and it would seem this pleased him enough, as he continued to grant you his attention. 

  This continued for a moment until you were finally able to relax into it, to succumb to the cards you'd been dealt for now. With one hand Steve kneaded at your breast, feeling every shaking breath of yours under his palm, while the other snuck back down between your legs. You jolted when the tips of his middle and ring finger dragged over the seat of your panties, from your slick hole to your aching clit-- you moaned around Eddie's cock, making him shudder and draw his bottom lip between his teeth, a rosy blush settling over his skin. Still, Steve continued.

  He rubbed gentle circles over your clit through your panties, careful to give you just enough to reignite your arousal and nothing more, as if he were testing to see whether you'd break his rules-- you didn't, though your legs were starting to get a bit shaky. 

  "Fuck, princess, love fuckin' your mouth," Eddie moaned, pace stuttering just for a moment as he lost himself in the feeling, but he was quick to find his composure again. He let out a breathy chuckle. "Feels like a fuckin' dream."

  You hardly had time to revel in how hot that was before Steve pushed your panties aside and sank a finger inside you. You keened beneath his ministrations, gagging briefly over Eddie's cock as you sucked in a breath the wrong way-- Steve laughed, letting his forehead fall forward to rest on your shoulder, teeth nipping at your skin. He replied to Eddie, "You should feel her pussy right now. So fucking wet."

  You fought against every instinct in your body to keep still, tears dripping freely down your face. Steve quickly found that soft spot within you and withdrew his finger, only to return with another one at a measured pace. You let out a muffled sob, eyes rolling back in bliss as electricity rolled over your body in waves. Eddie's thrusts began to slow gradually, chest rising and falling with unequal breaths as he pulled himself from your lips, allowing his hot seed to spill out in thick ropes over your chest with a final few strokes of the hand.

  Now that he wasn't holding on to you, however, it became immediately apparent how much you had been depending on him in your attempt to follow Steve's directions. You wobbled pathetically, cock drunk and boneless beneath Steve's skilled hands, and you were lucky that Eddie was quick to catch you as you fell forward.

  "Aww, look at you," He mused, catching his breath, petting your hair as he held you to his chest. "You still with us, sweetheart?"

  You nodded lazily, arms squirming in your cuffs. Your wrists were starting to burn where the metal bit into you, but you were nervous to ask if they would take them off-- you had gotten so far with Steve by now that you really didn't want to ruin it, especially with such a promised reward for good behavior. But, then it occurred to you--

  Eddie, on the other hand, is much easier to convince.

  Tilting your head just enough to gaze up at him through your lashes, you tugged at your cuffs again and sighed softly, "I wann'em off, master," quietly enough that you hoped Steve wouldn't notice. 

  But of course he did. He used his free hand to tug at them right back, regaining your attention as he continued to pump in and out of you. "What do you say when you want something, (Y/N)?"

  Dejectedly, you hung your head and mumbled, "Please."

  "That's right. Good girl," He praised, reaching into his back pocket to hand the key to Eddie. "I expect you to be on your best behavior once we take these off."

  You nodded with an excited grin, "I'll be good, daddy, I promise."

  Eddie scratched your head softly before letting go just long enough to unlock the cuffs, a freedom which felt divine now-- you quickly rid yourself of your open shirt, then your sore arms sealed around Eddie's waist like a magnet, and you peppered his tummy with soft kisses both as a thank you, and in pure adoration. Steve was ushering you nearer and nearer to the edge again, so you were grateful for the stability. Your heart hammered beneath your sticky chest as your peak drew closer.

  It certainly was tempting to just let it happen, though you felt a responsibility to respect your dues. Shyly, you whimpered, "Daddy, I'm so close... please let me cum, please..."

  "Aren't you a quick learner?" He teased, brushing a finger over your clit. "I guess you've earned it."

  Your heart swelled instantaneously, your core burning white hot as the evening's worth of pent up frustration finally paid off-- your entire body shook as your high washed over you, and you gushed over his thick fingers with a sinful cry. He was sure to drag it out a bit, of course, pumping his fingers slowly just a few more times to get a rise out of you, and then he pulled them out.

  You slumped into Eddie's chest, catching your breath, and he rubbed your back softly for a moment before taking you by the shoulders to lay you properly down on the bed. Taking note of your exhaustion they began to shower your face and body in feather light kisses, attentive hands caressing and massaging and loving. You felt so precious, so special, you couldn't help but melt into their affection. Steve smooched your shoulder, teasing you with a soft bite to your dewy skin, one hand kneading your breast and the other palming your cheek. His eyes fell to yours, and you were taken again. "Aren't you a pretty little thing, hm?" His thumb brushed over your nipple and you shivered, taking your lip between your teeth. "We should get you some pearls."

  You nodded into his palm, doe eyes hooked on his, shivering as Eddie's lovely tongue slid across your breast, savoring a drop of his own cum. They were truly unbelievable. Steve stood to finally undress himself, while Eddie, distractible as he is, settled on his stomach between your legs and found himself wandering your trembling body with his mouth. He started with your breasts, of course, careful not to deface any more of his art with his inkling to taste, instead focusing his attention on your nipples. Taking advantage of your freed hands, you threaded your fingers into his hair and basked in the feeling-- he sucked and swirled his tongue over the sensitive buds before traipsing lower, dusting your ribs and tummy with featherlight kisses, passing over your most ticklish spots with his lashes.

  He made his way down to your hips, dragging your skirt down along with him, peppering you with smooches and little bites before gazing up at you with his handsome puppy eyes, "Lemme return the favor, baby, please?"

  You shuddered-- there was absolutely no way you could say no to that face, and he knew it. You nodded with a soft giggle, granting him your permission.

  Eddie's eyes lit up with excitement, and his broad hands slid down to your thighs to nudge them up over his shoulders. His teasing continued only briefly to your inner thighs, only until he'd left you an adequate number of stinging little marks to admire later, before he succumbed to his own need. His tongue slipped teasingly inside you before trailing upward to flick at your clit, and you drew in a sharp gasp, yanking at his thick hair. The motion only seemed to encourage him.

  He dragged the flat of his tongue all the way up, teasing you with a quick swirl over your aching jewel before he steadied his grip on your thighs, locking you in place so that he could truly devour you. He moaned with satisfaction, presumably at the taste of your arousal, and the vibration of his deep voice resulted in a sinful whine of your own. You rocked your hips into him in an attempt to chase the feeling, shuddering deeply with every bump of his nose against your overstimulated clit. You felt Eddie jump a bit, and you peeked your hazy eyes open to catch the sight of Steve, newly naked, taking his place at the end of the bed, just behind Eddie. His strong hands had come down to caress Eddie's back as a gentle way to alert him of his presence there-- Eddie tensed just for a moment, suckling your jewel up into his mouth before he relaxed into Steve's touch, tongue fluttering against you.

  You watched in awe as Steve kneaded tenderly at Eddie's flesh with one hand, stroking himself with the other, his cock hard and drooling with precum. With a shaking breath, he let go of himself to take hold of Eddie's hips, a lock of hair falling in front of his pretty face. You're not entirely sure you were breathing.

  Eddie recaptured your attention as his fingers traced lightly up the length of your thighs, careful not to catch you off guard, which was sweet of him. He drew his fingertips through your folds, slicking himself with your wetness before pushing two slowly inside. After all, he was well aware of your sensitivity, and you got the feeling he wanted to drag this out a bit. He brought his face into you again to lap at your swollen clit, and you quivered, thighs closing around his head, to his apparent delight-- you could have sworn you heard him chuckle with pride.

  Taking advantage of both yours and Eddie's distraction, Steve sheathed himself within Eddie at last, and the way they moaned in sync sounded just as sinful as it did heavenly. His hips stilled for a moment, allowing Eddie to adjust to his length before before he gradually began to rut into him. With every collision of their bodies, Eddie's divine mouth and hand rocked deeply into your cunt, making you cry out in pleasure.

  Steve's pupils were blown wide with lust, leaving him with an expression that was absolutely carnal, and it was undoubtedly purposeful that his gaze was trained on you, like he was just waiting for you to notice. Shivers rolled over your body and you clutched Eddie's hair just a bit tighter, captivated by the complete and absolute intimacy of it all. You were experiencing such an intoxicating mixture of things, pleasure, need, electricity... your breaths were uneven and accompanied by shaky moans, your muscles tight but weak and your core burning hot with desire.

  You were right to trust Steve-- he had a way of settling things in a way that worked for everyone.

  Try as you might, there was no possible way you could continue to maintain eye contact with the way your lids begged to fall halfway, vision blurring with ecstasy, eyes rolling back-- but it didn't seem that Steve was worried about that right now. Through your fluttering lashes you couldn't help but admire his face. His tongue flicked out to wet his pink lips which were upturned in a proud grin, cheeks flushed while his hazy, coffee colored eyes traversed the bodies beneath him. His hair was dewy with sweat and falling in front of his face. Steve truly looked like a king.

  Your mouth moved before your brain could stop it. "I-I love you, daddy."

  Eddie hummed sweetly against you as Steve chuckled softly, not to make fun of you, but because it was so unexpected. That proud grin grew even wider. "I love you too, baby."

  Whether he was encouraged by your statement or just chasing his own high, the pace of Steve's thrusts picked up noticeably, fingertips boring deeply into Eddie's hips as he lost himself to the feeling. Your head spun as you experienced the shockwave of it, the way Eddie groaned, his long, skilled fingers reaching so deeply inside of you that you were seeing stars. Your mouth fell open in a string of unintelligible mewls as your second orgasm of the night snuck up on you. You clutched his curly hair at the roots, thighs closing tightly around his head as he savored every last drop of your arousal like he'd been starved of it.

  Eddie's lips pulled away from your throbbing clit with a soft pop, resting his cheek against your trembling thigh for brief moment of reprieve as he continued to rock back and forth at the pace of Steve's hips. You gently played with his hair, watching his big brown eyes, glazed over with pleasure, as they spaced out and focused in on nothing. If your muscles didn't feel like they were made of jelly at the moment, you might have repositioned yourself to kiss him, but would have to make do with what you could reach with your hands. You scratched his head softly, heart swelling as he leaned into your palm, and then you let your hand fall lower to brush the backs of your knuckles over his cheeks. He almost looked like he was falling asleep, until he peeked an eye up at you and chided lowly, "What, I don't get an 'I love you?'"

  You rolled your eyes with a smile, laughing breathlessly at his absurdity before relenting, "I love you, almighty Dungeon Master."

  He lazily nipped at your inner thigh with his teeth, his speech and breathing stilted with mind numbing pleasure as he replied in a blissed out whisper, "I love you too, dollface."

  Soon Steve's chest was heaving with uneven breaths and glistening with sweat, a peachy blush settling over his dewy skin. Pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, his eyes fell closed and his grip on Eddie grew even tighter, hips stuttering as he neared his own end. Finally he found it within himself to pull out at the last possible second, pearly cum spilling out over Eddie's back in ribbons. Almost precisely in sync Eddie shivered, teeth sinking into your flesh as his own seed drooled out into the sheets. 

  Bringing a hand up to fix his hair, Steve let out a quiet chuckle as he looked over the two of you on the bed, spread out completely boneless, covered in cum with twitching legs. "Look at you two," He joked. "What a mess. I just washed the bedding."

#venustext #sintext #steddie x reader #steve harrington x eddie munson x reader #steve harrington x reader #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #stranger things #steve harrington smut #eddie munson smut #steddie smut

[mckinlily]

Completely out of step with my usual fixation, but I saw fan art with femme!Chat, forgot about it for a while, and then got hit with idea which is basically we all know Chat is 1) a huge flirt and 2) Adrien’s outlet for everything he’s not allowed to be as Adrien Agreste.

And just…au where Adrien-> Adrienne is a girl. A girl with HUGE expectations set for her by Gabriel (f, because I think this works well with a SUPER strict, unavailable mother) and one of those expectations being, of course, to be straight.

So we got Adrienne, the most closeted gay girl to ever gay, making up male celebrity crushes and doing EVERYTHING in her power to prove she definitely, certainly, 100%, no girls included, likes boys.

And on the other hand, there’s Verified Lesbian DisasterTM Chat Noir. Gay Icon of Paris. Can’t go three seconds without spewing Gay all over the place. Is she flirting or just that useless at acting straight?

There’s a viral, gif-ed, meme-ed shaking phone recording of Chat just GOING OFF on all the ways girls are beautiful and perfect and so hot, omg, Ladybug, you don’t understand—

(Marinette thought she was straight, but now she’s fighting to ignore the fluttery feelings she gets when Chat flirts with her and, ugh, she has the worst crush on definitely-straight would-never-like-her-back Adrienne.)

Paris is pretty sure that their superheroes are dating (Have you seen those two? That is not a platonic “gal pals” situation). Ladybug shuts down anyone who suggests they’re dating but, like, if they aren’t together why does she constantly refer to Chat as her “partner” and threatens bodily harm to anyone who dares suggest she’s a sidekick or anything less? What about how they’re always cuddling together? What about all the dates?

(”They’re not DATES!” vents Ladybug.

“They’re not not dates,” says Chat with an adorable stupid wink.)

Even those who take what Ladybug and Chat Noir say at face value assume that they’re just the kind of lesbians who date for three years before figuring out they’re dating. Frankly, they’re not wrong. 

But also, we’ve got Marinette/Ladybug who assume like…Chat has to be super comfortable with her sexuality, right? She throws it around everywhere. Whereas Marinette is still trying to work out how she feels about being bi. Like, she knows it’s not bad. Her parents won’t have a problem with it. Alya was delighted when she told her! So why is it still hard? Why does the thought still feel uncomfortable and, sometimes, dirty, when she thinks about it? Why is it still hard?

So of course she look to Chat, her super out and open friend, to figure out how to process it. But Chat actually isn’t okay with her sexuality at all. She pretends when she’s Chat Noir because she can, but when she’s Adrienne, she’s filled with so much shame about it. Why can’t she just be normal? Why does she have to feel this way and feel it so much if it’s so clearly bad? Sure, Chat can be gay, but Chat is a superhero and ultimately a mask. Chat can’t be real.

In this au, it’s not just Ladybug’s denial disinterest that’s holding them back, but Chat won’t actually let herself have this. Sure, she’ll flirt and make gay jokes and wear a pride flag as a cape as Pride, but actually have a relationship with Ladybug? Act on all those feelings and fantasies she has? No, no, absolutely not. She’d rather be eviscerated by an akuma first.

And Adrienne is filled with so much guilt when she’s herself for what she does as Chat. Adrienne shouldn’t do that. Adrienne shouldn’t want that. And she’s desperate not a hint of what she is as Chat Noir come through in Adrienne Agreste. This time, Chat is just as insistent, if not more, that they have to keep their identities secret. She can’t ever have her alter ego revealed. It would ruin everything. Adrienne Agreste can’t be gay.

Over time, Ladybug has to slowly figure out that Chat isn’t nearly as confident and secure in her identity as she appears be. Adrienne has to learn to actually let herself have this. That it’s absolutely okay to be in love with her best friend and partner in saving Paris (or to be crushing on that super cute girl behind her in class). And, somehow, they have to work out the classic Love Square and figure out the exceptionally obvious fact that THE OTHER LIKES YOU BACK.

useless lesbians, both of them 

idk, I just think it could be a really interesting story about wlw and young queer women figuring themselves out. 

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupen chang #adrien agrest #gender bend #love square #but make it gay #ml #just had to get this out of my head #i haven't been in this fandom for years #don't @ me i know nothing past season 1

[thexphial]

An excellent rundown from The Stranger on JKR's Holocaust denial. As a Jewish woman who lost actual family in the Holocaust, her twisting of the narrative is genuinely offensive and harmful.

Hey all, it’s Vivian. If you've freed yourself from wandering the wasteland of weirdos and robots on x.com, you may not have seen a series of tweets from JK Rowling about trans people and the Nazis. Rowling first questioned if Nazis ever burned research on trans people (they did) and then linked a thread excoriating problematic grandaddies in the field, implying that trans medicine carried on a eugenic or Nazi legacy of human experimentation (it doesn't). I really hate inaccurate history, so I called someone who actually knows what the hell they're talking about, University of Washington's Laurie Marhoefer, the leading expert on trans people and the Nazis. You just can't unpack this complicated, nuanced bit of history in a tweet.

A memorial in Tel Aviv dedicated to the LGBTQ victims of the Holocaust. URIEL SINAI / GETTY

Yes, JK Rowling, the Nazis Did Persecute Trans People

We Asked the Leading Expert on the Topicallot Initiative Success in Western  VIVIAN MCCALL Last week, children's book author JK Rowling tweeted some more nonsense about transgender people. In this case, she disputed the fact that Nazis destroyed early research on the community:

Despite Rowling’s dismissal, it is an established fact–not a fever dream–that the Nazis persecuted transgender people. And it’s not the first time this debate has come up on social media. Denying this history is part of an overall effort to discount the discrimination trans people still face in their pursuit of fundamental rights today. It is important to remember the truth and to evaluate what research we have, especially at a time when far-right attacks against trans people are increasing in the United States and elsewhere.

The Looting and Burning

In 1933, the Nazi-supporting youth with the German Student Union and SA paramilitary looted the Institute for Sexual Science (Institut für Sexualwissenschaft) in Berlin. The institute collected the earliest known research on gay and transgender people, and it helped people obtain legal name changes, medical treatments, and “transvestite certificates” from local police that allowed them legally to present as their gender.

Days after the looting, Nazis took to the streets to burn the 20,000 books looters found inside the building, and they placed a bust of the institute’s founder, Magnus Hirschfeld, on the pile in effigy. Hirschfeld was out of the country at the time, but he later died in exile in 1935. 

In the years that followed, trans people were busted under German laws criminalizing sodomy and wearing clothes associated with their birth sex. They were imprisoned in concentration camps before and after the start of World War II. Some were murdered there. Others escaped with their lives.

We’ve Been Here Before 

Since Rowling posted about the subject on x.com, misinformation about trans people in Nazi Germany has circulated widely. Some people have also claimed that the discussion of trans victims of Nazi violence distracts from the “real victims” of National Socialism. In light of this discourse, I called the leading researcher studying trans people and the Nazis, University of Washington professor Laurie Marhoefer.

“My first reaction was, they’re totally wrong,” Marhoefer said of the posts. “They’re not even in the ballpark. My reaction 1.5 was, ‘Oh this is eerie, the same thing happened in Germany two years ago.’”

Back in July of 2022, a graduate biology student named Marie-Luise Vollbrecht, who was known for her “gender critical” anti-trans views, made headlines in Germany.

She tweeted that the Nazis had never targeted trans people, and to say they did “mock[ed] the true victims of the Nazi crimes.” People responded with a hashtag that claimed she denied Nazi crimes. Vollbrecht filed a lawsuit against some of them, claiming their hashtag violated her rights and basically called her a holocaust-denier, which is a crime in Germany. She lost her case, and, after parsing the historical facts, the court officially recognized trans people as Nazi victims. A few months later, Germany’s parliament issued a statement recognizing the queer victims of Nazis and of post-war persecution. 

We Don’t Know Much, but What We Do Know Is Grim 

That ruling aside, this history is by no means complete. Scholars still don’t know much about the lives of trans people in Nazi Germany. Researchers have only recently started to study the subject and to undo false assumptions that cis gay men and transgender women were essentially viewed as the same in the eyes of their oppressors.

Through years of research and the review of published literature, Marhoefer has identified 27 criminal cases involving trans men, women, and gender nonconforming people in Nazi Germany. Locating them is hard work, and it requires parsing heaps of documents in non-keyword-searchable archives to find police files on a very small group of people that did everything in their power to avoid police detection. Marhoefer has 30,000 Gestapo files on their laptop alone. The little we do know, so far, is grim. 

According to research from Marhoefer, beginning in 1933, Hamburg police were instructed to send “transvestites” to concentration camps. A person named H. Bode lived in the city, dated men, dressed in women’s clothes, and once held a “transvestite” certificate. After multiple public indecency and public nuisance convictions, she was sent to Buchenwald, where she died in 1943. Liddy Bacroff, a trans sex worker in Hamburg, died at Mauthausen the same year. Officials sent her there because she was a “morals criminal of the worst sort.” 

Essen police ordered Toni Simon to stop wearing women's clothes, as she had done for years. She served a year in prison for disrespecting police officers, hanging out with gays, and speaking against the regime. The authorities called Simon a “pronounced transvestite,” and a Gestapo officer said placement in a concentration camp was “absolutely necessary.” She ultimately survived. 

Unlike today, Marhoefer said, trans people were never a front-and-center political issue for the Nazis, nor were they rounded up in the same systematic way as Jews or the Roma. Nevertheless, the Nazis did specifically target them for their gender identities. On a fundamental level, transness was incongruous with Nazi ideology, a hyper-masculine fascism that emphasized purity and traditional gender roles. 

The enforcement of moral laws prevented them from living as they did in the Weimar Republic era, the democratic government in power before Adolf Hitler and a time of limited acceptance. Magazines, nightclubs such as the Eldorado, and nascent organizations for trans people were shuttered. The state forced detransition, revoking a permit from at least one person named Gerd R. and driving them to suicide.

“I think we expect the crackdown, and then it’s all over their media, but it’s quiet,” Marhoefer said. “How many in a camp do we have to find before people will be like, ‘Okay, there was persecution?’”

While the Nazis did not often discuss transness much, at least one 1938 book, Ein Beitrag zum Problem des Transvestitismus, provides some idea of how party officials thought about trans people. 

Author Hermann Ferdinand Voss described trans people as “asocial” and likely criminals, which justified “draconian measures by the state.” Nazi rhetoric also linked trans women and pedophilia, which mirrors the contemporary allegations from conservative Republicans about trans and queer people “grooming” children.

When they came after Hirschfeld, who was gay and Jewish, propagandists also framed homosexuality as a Jewish plot to feminize men and to destroy the race. Years before Nazis stormed his institute, the pro-party newspaper Der Stürmer labeled him the most dangerous Jew in Germany, which brings us to another point Rowling shared in a thread on X.

Problematic Granddaddies 

After x.com users told Rowling that Nazis did, in fact, persecute trans people and burn research about them, she accused people who corrected her of valorizing Hirschfeld, rather than doing what they were actually doing, which was simply correcting the record. 

Indeed, Hirschfeld, the granddaddy of the gay rights movement and a pioneer for trans health care, was a eugenicist. Furthermore, the early practitioner of vaginoplasty, Erwin Gohrbandt, who operated on Lili Elbe of The Danish Girl fame, was a Nazi collaborator connected to Dachau.

History rightly doesn’t look back on eugenicists and Nazi collaborators fondly, but those facts have nothing to do with whether or not Nazis persecuted trans people or burned research. 

Apparently unsatisfied with spreading historical misinformation in one instance, Rowling followed-up with a tweet that directed users to a “thread on the persistent claims about trans people and the Nazis.” The thread implies that trans medicine is eugenic or Nazi in some way, and it draws a false connection between gender-affirming care and tortuous human experiments in the camps. 

Broadly, the thread argues that early trans medical care constituted medical malpractice and the development of a new kind of sterilization in the form of gender-affirming genital surgery, and it contends that Gohrbandt performed his early vaginoplasties with the same regard for humanity as he displayed in his later work with the Nazis.

But the beliefs of these flawed medical pioneers have no bearing on trans people or trans politics, and conflating modern gender-affirming care with this early experimental treatment ignores the state violence trans people faced at the hands of the Nazis.

Despite Hirschfeld’s contributions to the field, people are right to criticize him for seeing the world through the lens of eugenics, even if that view was common in the 1930s. 

Marhoefer literally wrote the book on his eugenic beliefs. Hirschfeld thought that gayness was eugenically beneficial because queer people did not reproduce, but he made no eugenic arguments for or against his work with trans people. He dedicated one of his books to eugenics, and he believed they sat at the heart of the science of sexology. And while he was critical of scientific racism, you can find anti-Black statements in his work, too, Marhoefer said.

Moreover, while Hirschfeld’s writings suggest he empathized with trans people and wanted to alleviate their suffering, he still staked a career on them. He photographed trans people in demeaning ways and trotted them out for demonstrations in front of other doctors.

It’s important to remember that Hirschfeld did not invent or create transness. The community existed before he discovered it, and the trans people themselves were not advocating for eugenic sterilization. The man was a trailblazer, not a saint. In fact, his approach to trans medicine laid the foundation for a system that forces people to jump through hoops for medical care. To this day, the majority of people who do trans medicine are not transgender themselves, and they do not always have the best interests of trans people at heart, Marhoefer said.

Gohrbandt would certainly make a list of medical practitioners who did not always have the best interests of trans people at heart. The pioneering plastic surgeon’s career bloomed along with his field, which quickly advanced to treat disfiguring battlefield injuries from World War I. He did not work at the institute, and because the surgeries were still very rare, he didn’t make a living performing them, Marhoefer said. We can count on one hand the number of gender-affirming surgeries he performed.

Unlike the Jewish and leftist doctors he worked with, Gohrbandt did not have to flee Germany. He endorsed the regime and later became the chief medical advisor for the Luftwaffe’s sanitary services division. In 1942, he participated in a secret conference on the results of fatal hypothermia experiments performed on Holocaust victims, and later reported the results in a German surgical journal.

Marhoefer said it is not strange that a future Nazi worked with progressive Jews on gender-affirming care in the 1920s. Many German doctors backed the regime and committed atrocities because they wanted careers. 

There’s no defending Gohrbandt, but his path does not suggest anything unique and nefarious about gender-affirming care. It says more about the heartbreaking situation these trans people found themselves in when even the few doctors they could turn to for medical care treated them with disdain.

Marhoefer said doctors of the day took advantage of desperate women such as Elbe, Dora Richter, and Charlotte Charlaque, who was Jewish and fled the Nazis. They endured experimental surgeries with no oversight before antibiotics, patients’ rights, or ethics protections. Many doctors saw them as a means to an end in the overall development of plastic surgery.

What All of This Is Really About

Trans persecution is simply one story in a much larger one about the Holocaust. Trans people today who point out this history as right-wing attacks against them intensify around the world are not erasing the murder of Jews and Roma in concentration camps, or the extermination of disabled people, or the deaths of millions of Soviet POWS in Nazi Germany’s murderous campaign to seize eastern territory and farmland. 

But this conversation is not really about Nazis any more than constant squabbles over gender-affirming care are about children. Nor does it honor victims of Nazi crimes.

No information, scholarship, or detailed account of a complicated history can satisfy someone who is fundamentally opposed to a person existing as they do. No number of mainstream medical organizations that again and again defend the efficacy of gender-affirming care can assuage their doubts. The benchmark for correctness is constantly moving and shifting, and the argument has no logical endpoint.

Meanwhile, ordinary trans people who rise to their own defense are labeled activists and needled for their wording, or their temperament, or their appearance, or the smallest misstatement. 

At the same time, people like Rowling expect transgender laypeople to possess the knowledge of Holocaust researchers, of doctors, of psychologists, and of public policy experts. Every week, it seems, anti-trans interests push out another poorly researched hit meant to undermine the community’s existence in some way. It is trolling, and it is exhausting, and that’s all it is. 

#jk rowling #jkr #holocaust denial #book burning #magnus hirschfeld #anti-trans rhetoric

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

How the Bucci Gang Loves (as told by tarot)

tags: gn!reader, headcanons, tarot

a/n: when in writer’s block doubt, tarot headcanon your way out. so i decided to do some more for jjba while working on some fics for a series i really enjoy. in my journey of getting someone i know into jojo, mom2 has finally reached part 5 and she loves it so far. she finds the bucci gang pretty interesting and she loves that they are playing a song by black artists for the first ed. ofc... she seriously questions why they picked jodeci’s horniest song fdfdfsd (sorry mista, everyone gets 4 cards no exceptions lol)

deck: true black tarot

giorno giovanna

the moon, anant, nine of pentacles, the world

giorno isn’t one to buy into cliches and fanciful terms like soulmates or twin flames, but if those connections were to exist, he thinks you come very close to them. to let someone in and see the most intimate parts of himself and be allowed to see the most intimate parts of another person, it can’t be anything less than a bond that goes far beyond mortal comprehension. it can’t be helped either that he wants to spoil you. things you mentioned wanting in passing ー books, food, jewels ー giorno gets them unprompted and relishes the look of surprise and warmth on your face when he presents them to you. he worries from time to time that his position in the gang may land you in the crossfire of any external and internal conflicts passione has, but he vows to keep you safe and believes he is more than able to uphold that promise. marriage likely isn’t far from his mind with such a serious relationship, a proposal will definitely be made in accordance to your preferences once giorno feels that the time is right.

bruno bucciarti

temperance, ten of cups, destiny, seven of cups

bruno believes you’re the right match for him. whether you’re his opposite that somehow matches his personality or someone similar but who brings different perspectives to the table he never considered. he’s experienced loss but by overcoming that loss and continuing to move forward, bruno was able to meet you. there has been many ups and downs in his life since the divorce of his parents and his joining passione but bruno is thankful that his choices in life led to your meeting. his past is just more motivation for him to grow stronger to protect you. he lost his family but now he has the chance to make one with you and his most trusted crew by his side. like giorno, bruno hopes to marry you one day. he’s entertained many times to himself a domestic life with you. a nice house, a few kids if it’s in the cards and many happy moments in between. it’s something that is at the forefront of his mind if a meeting gets too boring and his mind begins to wander. but he is in no rush, content to enjoy whatever phase of your relationship you are currently in. 

leone abbacchio

three of swords, strength, knight of pentacles, the devil

call this man a heavy-weight boxing champion because abbacchio fought tooth and nail to remain in the depths of denial about his feelings for you when he started noticing them. someone like abbacchio doesn’t need a relationship, nor does he deserve one. but once unable to be willfully blind and it’s gotten through his thick skull you want him as much he wants you, abbacchio is a dedicated boyfriend. it doesn’t feel right sometimes, indulging in your relationship after everything he’s done. it feels entirely selfish and he wonders if one day he’ll get his comeuppance and this happiness he has will be taken away. but after a lot of pondering what he would do if that day were to ever come, abbacchio made his decision. just as he fought to deny his feelings for you, he’d fight even harder to keep you. maybe it is selfish and it may even be despicable to others that he would dare to be this happy after everything he’s done, but abbacchio will bear those labels defiantly.

guido mista

the empress, king of wands, za warudo, the sun

flirty he may be, mista is hopeless romantic and when he’s in a relationship the man is on cloud 9. you know, the team knows it and to be honest, the whole of napoli probably knows it. mista’s not ashamed to let the whole world know he’s taken by the most wonderful person ever. should you ever voice your embarrassment and insist he doesn’t have to tell the whole world you’re dating, mista insists you actually gave him the time of day and he isn’t taking that for granted. prepare for many whirlwind dates and finding yourself somewhere in naples you’ve never been, taking in the warm sun and the ocean-scented breeze. even if things somehow go pear-shaped, it’s the fact you went through it together that counts in his eyes. mista is a physical lover and he doesn’t hide it in how he constantly touches you. he likes you and he wants you, but he respects your boundaries and will move at whatever pace you want or will gladly keep his urges to himself for your comfort if it isn’t something you desire personally. for mista, what matters most is that you’re happy and comfortable. he’s a goofball but mista is lot more observant than he looks and is very in-tune to how you feel.

pannacotta fugo

ace of swords, anant, the magician, three of cups

when it comes to the question “who fell first and who fell the hardest”, you fell first and fugo the hardest. it takes a while to get through the walls of rationality and fear of hurting others with his blind rage, but once you do, you find a passionate lover behind it. you’re fugo’s friend always and his partner first and in many ways you help ground him. fugo doubts that his problems with the rage he struggles to keep in check will ever dissipate, but thoughts of you when he is close to snapping tends to help stave off his volatile reactions most of the time. fugo isn’t one to date casually and as such takes your relationship seriously. relationships are give-and-take and fugo does so equally. embarrassing he may find things like pda, if he knows you have a preference for it, he will accommodate those desires in earnest. he simply wants you to be happy and if there is anything you don’t find to your liking fugo urges you to tell him. he can’t rectify a problem if he isn’t aware of one in the first place. he shows his love rather than tells. 

narancia ghirga

eight of wands, the fool, the star, page of cups

narancia falls first and falls the hardest. narancia seldom hides from his emotions, nor does he hide them from othersー as such, your relationship is no exception. he loves you and you know it, he tells you everyday with his words and his actions. you’re probably his first love and he approaches romance with an air of child-like innocence. love is a new adventure and for narancia it is equally as exciting as it is anxiety-inducing. he wants to be with you all the time, but he doesn’t want to turn you off by being clingy. he wants to brag to the world about his awesome partner, but he doesn’t want you getting embarrassed by his bold declarations. in the end though, narancia just follows his heart and let’s everything else fall into place, hoping for the best. trusting others and being unquestionably loyal has gotten him into more grief than he can imagine, but it has also led him to the best people in his life. a pearl is the result of a mollusk defending itself against an irritant with nacre and that result is beautiful. so too are the experiences that make narancia himself. 

#look she's writing #headcanons #tarot #jjba x reader #giorno x reader #bruno x reader #narancia x reader #mista x reader #fugo x reader #abbacchio x reader #bucci gang #i missed these idiots it's nice seeing them again during my rewatch #jjba vento auero #jjba golden wind

[tightjeansjavi]

Endings Create New Beginnings

Burning in a Hopeless Dream | The Prologue: Part 2 (final part)

(Joel Miller x f!reader)

A/N: I genuinely feel like this might be the most complicated piece I have written in the sense that I went out of my comfort zone a little bit. Rather focusing on dialogue, I used a lot of descriptions of what the reader is going through, what she is mourning and what Joel is feeling as she goes through this. To be completely honest with you? This is beautiful. It’s tragic in the sense that these two people have no idea just how meaningful they will soon be to one another. I feel like I have done them a justice by writing their true beginning. There are dark themes throughout this piece so please tread carefully. Please read part 1 before this piece and while this is Joel and Gwen’s story, I have written it as a readers perspective. There are no physical descriptions of the reader.

Thank you for reading ♡

~word count: 5.1k~

Summary: after losing your lover, and friends of 5 years, you find yourself running straight into Joel Miller, and his partner, Tess Servopoulos. You don't know it then, but your life is about to drastically change forever.

Warnings: dark themes, depression, mourning, suicidal thoughts, guilt of one’s death, feelings of being trapped, isolation, dark thoughts in both the reader and Joel’s mind, hinting at soulmates without directly stating it, stubbornness, banter, empathy, jealously, secret pining, feelings of denial, mistrust, anxiety, brief depiction of a knife wound, stitches, alcohol consumption, confusing thoughts, fear of the unknown, no use of y/n, no physical descriptions of the reader, (+18) minors dni!

Songs Used:

“I Wonder” by Shawn Mendes

“The Alcott” by The National and Taylor Swift

“Lift Me Up” by Rihanna

“The View Between Villages” by Noah Kahan

“Everything Has Changed” by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran

“My Cell” by the Lumineers

“Second Chances” by Gregory Alan Isakov

“Dear Patience” by Niall Horan

“After the Storm” by Mumford & Sons

You quickly came to the realization that Joel and Tess’s ‘empathy’ only stretched so far. You weren’t even sure if empathy was the right word to use, especially when it came to Tess. She had no issues showing her glaringly obvious distaste towards you. You really couldn’t blame her, simply for the fact that only a mere few hours ago, you had thrown your knife at Joel’s face. If you were in her shoes, you would have felt the same way that she did.

Joel and Tess didn’t take you to the QZ right away. It created a rather awkward, and tense situation given the circumstances. Your mind played tricks on you, and made you believe that maybe the pair had changed their mind. Maybe they were going to kill you after all. Joel could smell the stench of your fear from a mile away as he slowed his heavy footsteps down.

“Easy.” He spoke softly to you. “We have to wait for nightfall before we can sneak you in. There’s a set curfew that starts at 6pm, till 6a.m. Tess and I are always breakin’ the rules, and this ain’t our first rodeo. FEDRA only patrols specific blocks at a time. Our apartment isn’t far from the main entrance. So, once it’s late enough, we’ll sneak you in through the tunnel system. You won’t have to worry about runnin’ into any QZ residents either. If we do happen to be caught by FEDRA, you run, and you don’t don’t look back. Do I make myself clear?” His back was resting along a nearby tree, arms crossed over his chest. His tone may have been soft, but you averted making eye contact with him regardless.

“How long have you and Tess lived in the QZ?” you scratched the outside of your arm absentmindedly. The rain had since long passed, but your clothes were entirely soaked through. Joel could see your body trembling, shivering from where he was leaned up against the tree.

“A while. I’ll be honest, ain’t no one really keeps track of how many days, months, years have gone by. They’ve all blended together for me at this point.” He gave a small shrug of his shoulders before he gently pushed himself off the tree, taking a few steps towards you. “Hey, are you cold? Would you like my jacket?”

You took a hesitant step back when he approached you and Tess scoffed at your inability to recognize that Joel wasn’t going to kill you. He wasn’t going to harm you. She turned her nose up at the fact that you were still acting like a frightened cornered animal.

“No thank you. I’m fine. Please..don’t come any closer to me.” You whispered.

Joel let out a visible sigh as he shrugged his thick layered jacket off of his body. “You’re gonna catch a nasty fuckin’ cold shiverin’ like that. Take the jacket.” He firmly demanded as he held the coat in his outstretched hand towards you. “I won’t come any close to you, but take the damn jacket.”

You knew he was right and despite wanting to show a hint of stubbornness, and to prove that your brain hadn’t entirely been fried by trauma, you reached for his coat, grasping the material between your fingers. You briefly made eye contact with him as you slipped your arms through the sleeves. The material was warm, warmer than you had expected. The outside layer of fabric had a residual scent of whiskey, pine, and woodsmoke. A wave of nostalgia washed over you, and Joel could see the emotions swirling through your pupils, as if they were trying to tell him a story; mapped out delicately in your irises.

“Thank you.” Your tone was barely above a whisper.

“Don’t mention it.” He returned to his prior position against the evergreen, arms crossed, stern gaze falling on you.

When the sun began to set, and the sky grew into an endless black pit, with only the pale moonlight to guide you, Joel and Tess guided you to their secret entrance into the QZ. A series of underground tunnels that ran under the QZ. Smuggling routes that Joel and Tess knew by heart.

The tunnels had you feeling claustrophobic in some moments. With only Joel’s flashlight as a light source, it was easy for your heart to start racing in your ribcage. Everytime you could hear the sound of Fedra trucks driving above ground, you squeezed your eyes shut tight. You had heard hushed whispers of what the quarantine zones were really like and more than ever now, you were missing your close knit camp with your once living friends.

Tess was the first to climb out of the hole in the ground, surveying the area while Joel offered you his hand and carefully hoisted you up. The streets were quiet sans the distant shouts of FEDRA soldiers. Joel was already nudging you up the street, gun drawn at his side. You were overwhelmed with the newfound stench of the quarantine zone. A mixture of filth, soot, and ash burned your nostrils and watered your eyes. The smell of rotting flesh nearly had you gagging, feeling lightheaded. Had they lied to you? Why did they bring you here? Was the quarantine zone just disguised as a raiders commune? Joel promised he wouldn’t hurt you, he promised–

“Hey, hey. Easy now darlin.’ You’re safe. That smell? It’s..not what you think it means.” He whispered under his breath as he gently grasped your arm. “When FEDRA brings in potential new residents, they’re put through a series of screenings and tests. If you’re found to be infected..they administer a shot that puts ya to sleep. Pretty much is like euthanizing a dog, or a cat. After they put you to sleep, your body is burned in a huge pit. It’s one of the more grueling jobs in the QZ, but it pays well with ration cards.”

Tess was already a few lengths ahead of you and Joel as she impatiently waited for the two of you. “Uh, any day now would be really fuckin’ nice.” She harshly whispered through the dead of night.

“C’mon. Our apartment is just a couple blocks east. We gotta move fast though, alright?”

All you could do was nod as Joel nudged you in front of him to keep moving forward. He couldn’t see your face, but he just had a feeling that his jacket was bringing you some form of comfort similar to the way you felt earlier. You were indeed using his jacket, and the nostalgic smell it gave off to pacify your apprehension. Whether or not Joel saw you turn your face into the collar, was the least concern on your mind.

Whiskey, pine, woodsmoke. Whiskey, pine, woodsmoke. Whiskey, pine, woodsmoke.

Home. Home. Home.

Joel and Tess’s apartment was not what you were expecting it to look like. There was an odd sense of comfort that the small living area particularly gave off. Perhaps it was the dense multi-colored quilt that rested along the weathered couch. The quilt itself looked well loved, and you imagined being wrapped in it must have felt as close as a warm hug did. She gave the best fucking hugs. She’s dead now. You left her for dead. Her body is rotting away in the earth, and the insects have made their home in her flesh and here you fucking stand. You hadn’t even heard Tess shuffling around in the tiny kitchen behind you. You hadn’t detected the sound of a liquor bottle being popped open. Nor the splash of amber into a chipped crystal glass. All you could hear were her distant screams, and your ears painfully ringing in your skull.

“..Darlin?’” There was a certain edge to Joel’s voice. A low rasp that was ridden with exhaustion, and his own terrors. He wanted to tread carefully when approaching you. He wasn’t sure why he gave a damn in the first place. Why did his last shred of humanity fall upon your trembling shoulders? He could see your lower lip wobble in the faint reflection of the grime covered windows. He knew your friends were dead. Raiders had murdered them and you ran. There was more to the story. There were always more pages left unturned. Whatever words were written on your parchment, he imagined they were painful. The kind of pain that had you clutching your fist to your chest, clawing at the skin to rip your heart from its strings. The kind of pain that wrecked silent sobs through your body. Where tears were un-shed because your body had spent them all. The kind of pain that dried your soul to dust, ash between your trembling fingers. The kind of pain that would have your arms squeezing your broken body so tightly, you couldn’t breathe. Rocking yourself as a mother would rock a crying child except, no one was there to hold you. No lullabies were to be sung, no soft touches were to be felt. No one was there to tell you that the world wasn’t always this cruel. That the sun would always shine another day, warm your skin, feed your soul. That you wouldn’t feel trapped, clawing desperately to reach the surface as the current drags you further and further into darkness. Waves crashing, tumbling, jostling what is left of your withered being until you give up. Phantom shadows, enveloping you in a never ending chill. So cold. So alone. So broken. So beaten.

Joel knew the inner turmoil that you were facing as if it was the back of his hand. It was in a sense. He too knew of indescribable pain not that long ago. When his own soul was turned to dust between his fingers. When her body went cold in his arms as he clutched her to his chest. When he felt like breathing was the hardest thing to do. When his own tears were spent, deep salty caverns laid their claim on his cheekbones that used to ache from joyous laughter and smiling too hard. He knew of the pain you presently endured all too well.

His hand gently clasped over your shoulder, squeezing the worn fabric that encased your skin in warmth. “C’mon. I’ll uh–I'll show you to your room, okay?”

You shuddered from his touch, feeling your senses being knocked back into you like a wrecking ball turning concrete to rubble. You pulled away from his touch, caving in on yourself.

You felt his hand retract and fall to his side. He let out a deep sigh as he made brief eye contact with his partner that wasted no time on giving him the “I told you so” look before she downed her glass of whiskey in one harsh gulp, slamming the glass down on the counter with a crashing thud.

The sudden sound sent your body jolting as you followed Joel’s heavy footsteps down the narrow hallway. He pushed the door at the end of the hall open, standing off to the side. “It ain’t much, but you got a bed to sleep on and a decent blanket to keep warm. I’ll have to convince Tess to lend you some of her clothes. I imagine you ain’t got much in that bag of yours. Anyway, you should get some rest. You’re safe now.” His arms were crossed over his chest as he leaned against the peeling wallpaper.

“Thank you.” Was all you could muster out as you stepped into your new living space. Joel was right. It wasn't much, but it was more than you had in years.

“You’re welcome.” He softly pulled the door shut to give you the privacy that you didn’t realize you were desperately seeking. You listened to the heavy creaks of the floorboards beneath his boots disappear. You stood there for what felt like hours before you slowly sunk down onto the old mattress. You didn’t move. You didn’t cry. You didn’t sleep. You sat there all night long staring into the void as your mind ran excruciating circles. Head rocking like a pendulum with no end in sight. Eyes glazed, lifeless, dull, ghostly. As if all the wondrous color had been sucked from your soul. The world through your eyes now was dark, dismal, tenebrous. A swirling black pit oozing with sorrow. Dripping in overflowing guilt. Like toxic sludge bubbling and bursting through the cracked crevices in the fragments of your vanquished heart.

It's all my fault.

I did this.

I caused this.

She’s dead.

They’re dead.

Here I am, surrounded by darkness in an undeserved warm bed.

Wishing I was dead too.

Two broken heartstrings, bleeding the sad sad blues. Separated by thin walls, peeling wallpaper, creaky floorboards. Two shattered souls; unbeknownst on how devoted they would soon grow for one another. Silent sobs, nightmares, darkness consumed. Struggled breaths, dealt the same cards; fortunes foretold, they have met before.

You mourned the loss of your lover and friends for what felt like endless years. In reality, it was two weeks of you isolating yourself in your room. Two weeks of numbing yourself to the pain where all that was left was the outer shell of who you used to be. Where was she now? You had yourself convinced that part of your soul died along with the ones that you loved. Maybe it had, and maybe that part of you was never going to reach the surface again.

You soon learned that Joel Miller was a persistent man. He respected your privacy, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t go out of his way to make sure that you hadn’t offed yourself in those two long weeks. He would leave food outside your door in hopes that you wouldn’t let yourself wither away entirely. Each morning, he’d find the wrapped jerky, and long since stale biscuits untouched.

On the nights where Joel was unable to relax into sleep, he’d quietly, and carefully untangle his limbs from Tess’s before leaving their shared room. He’d find himself seated against your door, back aching at the uncomfortable angle he was in. For whatever reason he was feeling desperate to know anything, and everything he could about you. Your name, where you were from, did the sorrows and grief of your past haunt your dreamless nights just as his did?

“Can you just fuckin’ let me know you’re alive behind this door? ‘Cus I’m sitting here with an achy back for whatever goddamn reason so the least you can do is let me know you’re alive. Would greatly appreciate it.”

He was met with no answer from the other side of the door.

“Can you tell me your name, darlin?’” You heard his whisper through the thin door that separated him from you. Maybe he needed to take a softer approach, despite the fact that Joel Miller was anything but soft.

“I can’t tell you my name.” You spoke soullessly through the impending darkness that surrounded you.

So you weren’t dead behind the door, thank god. He thought to himself.

“Why can’t you tell me your name?” He pressed you further.

A pregnant pause, seconds ticking by as he awaited your answer. The floorboards creaked beneath your feet as you slowly rose from the crumpled sheets, and padded quietly to the door. You sunk down, back against the thin wood right where he was resting on the other side.

“Because everything that’s mine is a landmine Joel. Every single fucking person that knows my name is dead. Every. Single. One. They’re all dead. You’re better off not knowing my name or who I am, or where I came from. Knowing someone’s name is personal. It becomes a personal interaction and I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want anything to do with that.” You pulled your knees up to your chest, resting your chin against them with a heavy sigh.

“Now listen, I ain’t into all that superstitious crap. So you’re tellin’ me that you think everyone who knows your name is like fuckin’ doomed or somethin?’ That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever fuckin’ heard darlin.’” I ain’t gonna die if you tell me your name.” He fought the urge to scoff but you could feel his demeanor through the door.

“Well, fine. What about you? What’s your story?..Joel…?” You paused, realizing you only knew his first name.

“Miller. Last name is Miller, and wouldn’t ya like to know, darlin.’” He was smirking to himself as he crossed his arms over his chest taking in a deep inhale before exhaling.

“Well, yeah. That’s why I asked.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m not tellin’ you anythin’ ‘bout myself till you tell me your name.” He stated as a-matter-of-factly.

“Oh? Well, guess that just means you’re gonna be sitting there for an awful long fucking time, Joel Miller from Texas.”

“How the hell did you know I was from Texas? Is my accent really that thick?” His eyes were open now as he gently rested the back of his head against the door.

“Yeah. It’s a pretty obvious southern accent. Hard to miss it.”

“Fair enough. How about this, can you give me the first letter of your name?” He was still on the topic of your name? For fuck sakes, did this man ever give up?

“No.” Was your immediate response.

“C’mon. Just the first letter, and then I promise I won’t ask ya again. Deal?”

You rubbed your fingers against your temples taking a deep breath when you realized that Joel was absolutely persistent in the most insufferable way possible. You mumbled out the first letter of your name begrudgingly.

“Was that so hard to tell me?”

“Yeah, it was. Now can you please fucking drop it? I don’t want to tell you my name, and I’d really would just appreciate the fact if you would just fucking accept that, alright? Thanks.”

Joel could sense your frustration through the door as his nails picked at the skin around his cuticles till they would tear and bleed. The light sting of his skin being split open was one that was familiar and oddly soothing. “Alright, darlin.’ I won’t pry any further. You have my word.”

A few minutes of silence had passed between the two of you. The floorboards creaked beneath his weight as he turned his body, resting his cheek along the splintered wood with a heavy sigh. It was frustrating to him that he couldn’t quite figure out why he was so immediately drawn to you. That he was causing his back to ache even more and for what? Just so he knew that you were alive? Why the hell did he care so much?

This became a routine for the two of you on the nights that sleep would not come. Sometimes you’d sit in complete silence and other times Joel would press for you to talk about anything. He wanted to get to know you, in whatever way you would allow him too. It was a challenging task and you proved to be tougher than he thought.

You never wanted to admit it, but Joel Miller wasn’t the most awful company to have in the odd hours of the morning.

It took just about a month for you to find your footing. Your body physically could not handle mourning what was no longer physically there in your grasp. Your brain was constantly in survival mode. Even now when you clearly were safer than you had ever been before, your brain hardly let you rest. Joel was not lying when he said that the most grueling jobs in the QZ paid handsomely in ration cards. You took every shitty job you could get your hands on. It was a good distraction from the constant thoughts racing through your mind. It was tricky, but somehow you had avoided working any jobs with your new “roommates.”

Despite your efforts to remain neutral with Tess, you still managed to evoke the woman in showing a deep distaste for you. She was far more intimidating than Joel was. It was obvious who was the brains of their operation, but you were also aware that Tess packed a lethal bite. It was only a short time ago that she threatened to gouge your eyes from your skull.

Some weeks you wouldn’t see Joel or Tess for days at a time. Not that it really bothered you because having the apartment to yourself had its perks. The biggest one being you didn’t feel like you had daggers trained on the back of your head. The downfall was that you were alone with your thoughts..and they weren’t going away.

“You enjoyin’ those late night chats with our new house guest?” Tess bitterly asked as Joel was patching up her arm alongside a crumbling alley outside the QZ. They had just traded a couple guns for some pills when 2 outsiders ambushed. Joel of course made both thugs regret that they had ever been born, but Tess had a fairly large gash along her forearm from a switchblade. Luckily for her it wasn’t muscle deep, but she’d still need stitches.

“What’re talkin’ about Tess?” Joel met her burning gaze as he dabbed away the blood. There was a stray sweaty curl blurring his vision and he paused his movements when she gently brushed it away.

“You don’t know what I’m talkin’ about? Bullshit, Joel. The walls are paper fuckin’ thin. Look, don’t you think she’s more than capable of bein’ off on her own? I agreed that we not kill her, but for fuck sakes. I don’t like the fact that she’s livin’ with us.” Tess didn’t want to admit outloud, but the main reason for her distaste towards you was because she viewed you as a threat. To what exactly? Well, it wouldn’t take a rocket science to figure out that Tess Servopolous was finding herself growing jealous anytime Joel diverted his attention from her, onto you. She knew it was silly, and a little embarrassing at the core, but Joel was hers. She was his, and she’d be damned if anyone got between that.

“Do’ya hear yourself right now? Look, you wanna be mad at me because I just wanted to make sure she didn’t off herself during those two weeks? Fine. Go ahead and be upset with me. I know it ain’t like me to take in strays and bring ‘em home. You and I both know that if we left her in those woods, she would have died. Hell, if Tommy were here? He probably would have killed her as soon as she threw her knife at my face. Do ya remember when he and I found you? Alone, and afraid? It wasn’t that fuckin’ long ago that you were a shell of yourself too, Tess. Tommy and I took ya in. We could have killed you, we could have left you for dead but we didn’t. Not long after you told me what happened to your husband and son. You told me about your loss, and the sacrifices you made to stay alive. I get it, you don’t like her for your own reasons, but you ain’t all that different from each other.” He concluded as he finished stitching up her wound, wrapping it firmly in some cloth before he grasped her hand and helped her up from the rocky ground.

“Fine. All i’m gonna say is that she’s gotta start pullin’ her own weight ‘round here too. You’re the one who said she might be useful to us. So, lets get some good use out of her. Today was a perfect example as to why this operation ran much smoother with three people.”

“Don’t worry. She’ll be goin’ on runs with us soon enough.” Joel zipped up his backpack and slung it over his shoulder along with his rifle. “Let's go home.”

It was springtime now. The air was warmer, there were birds outside the window that could be heard. The sun shone brighter. Despite all of this, you still felt trapped. Trapped in this apartment, trapped in your thoughts, trapped in a droning routine that was draining you day by day. You were desperate to get out. To let your lungs breathe the fresh forest air once more. Your wish was manifesting faster than you thought it would. Joel and Tess were meeting up with their two unlikely friends, Bill and Frank. Tess was against the idea at first, but you learned that Joel could be incredibly convincing when he wanted to be. That’s how you ended up outside the QZ walls after months. Joel would never say it outloud but he wanted to give you a taste of normalcy after everything you had been through. He wasn’t expecting you to thank him or anything. You owed him your life, this was true. However, he’d never ask you to repay him. He only hoped that perhaps you and him could become friends. If friends was even the right word for the journey you and him would find yourselves enduring together.

Frank adored you the moment he laid eyes on you. You believed that people had many different soulmates in their lifetime. Frank had to be your platonic soulmate in every sense. The older man was like a breath of fresh air in your lungs. His hugs reminded you of home, and his eyes were welcoming and kind. He doted you as his “little bird” when you explained why you couldn’t tell him your name. Soon enough you were being whisked into his world of art, music, books, and the simple pleasures in life that you weren’t sure if you’d ever have the privilege of experiencing again.

He showed childlike excitement when you gushed over his artistic abilities. He had all different sizes of canvases in his art room. Many of which were paintings of his polar opposite lover. He also loved to paint nature, flowers, and his favorite plants. The colors were warm, vibrant, and full of life.

“One day I'll paint a portrait of you in the wildflowers out back, how does that sound to you little bird?” His warm arm was wrapped loosely around your shoulder, a warm smile gracing his gentle features.

You were almost certain that you had met Frank in a past life. You felt as if you had known this man forever, and now you were catching up over coffee, and spilling secrets of your shared pasts. You adored him just as much as he adored you. “Wait, there’s wildflowers out back? A whole field of them?” You looked up at the older man with a bright full of life smile. You couldn’t remember the last time you had smiled this hard.

“Yes! An entire field of them. They’re all in full bloom. Would you like me to show you?” He offered you his elbow like the true gentleman he was.

You nodded enthusiastically, grasping his elbow gently as he led you out into the backyard. Your eyes watered when you gazed upon an entire field of different species of wildflowers that sprouted up between the tall thick wild grasses. Asters were your favorite, as Frank came to learn. They were all beautiful of course. Butterflies danced around your head like a fluttering halo. Their delicate wings were different hues of purple as you carefully plucked the flowers into a homemade bouquet.

Joel had been watching from afar. His arms were crossed over his chest, broad muscles bulging through the worn fabric of his flannel. He was half paying attention to the conversation Tess and Bill were having as he was too distracted by you. There was something so surreal to him, seeing you relaxed, and in your element. Could flowers truly bring one person that much pure joy? What was so special about these particular flowers? Did they remind you of home? Were they your favorite? Or did you simply just think they were pretty? Joel wondered as his jaw clenched tightly. Why were you able to find happiness in the littlest of things, and yet he couldn’t. He wondered what it would be like to see the world through your eyes at that moment. A world full of color and life. A world that wasn’t black and white.

Joel Miller wondered, and it terrified him.

He wondered if he was always being real. He wondered if he always spoke his truth, or does he filter how he feels? He wonders why he is so afraid of saying something wrong, when he never claimed to be a saint. He wondered why on the loneliest nights when he would cry into his hands, it conditioned him to feel like he was less than a man.

He wondered—

And then you met his gaze. Eyes sparkling under the warm rays of the sun. A soft smile gracing your lips. A smile different from the one you portrayed around Frank. No, this was a smile that would make any man weak in the knees. A smile that would send a man to his early grave if he never got the privilege to see it again. A smile that would now rot Joel Miller's brain to mush for the rest of the day. A smile that he felt like only he was supposed to see. A smile that had him wonder if one day you’d be by his side and promise him that the world would end up alright.

Your smile hit him like a freight train colliding with his body over, and over again.

It was true, Joel could not stop thinking of the way you smiled at him earlier in the day. He thought about it at the dinner table where he was sitting across from you. He thought about it when he found you and Frank seated side by side at the piano, giggling like two drunk fools after a few too many glasses of wine. Heads leaning against one another like old friends.

He thought about it during the odd hours of the night while Tess was asleep at his side. He stared up at the ceiling, picturing what it would possibly be like to be loved by you. Your smile was etched into his brain like a fucking tattoo. He blinked, and it wouldn’t go away. His thoughts were flooded with you.

darlin’, if my memories of you were ever stolen from my mind, my only hope is that you’d forever haunt my dreams, as someone I used to know; who is now a phantom of my past unknown.

Fin

Tag List: @chaotic-mystery @peterhollandkait @yuly @soft-cryptids @dinsdjrn @myrealmofchaos @itskenziebb @lovers-liability @korynnekorynne @ems-alexandra @kirsteng42 @casssiopeia @novemberrain-writes @goodwithcheese @loquaciousferret @sarahhxx03 @777-wonders @bonglorddaryl @mirasantidotes @luvrking @finnsbubblegum @last-girl @pedrostories @yazsos @pedgeitopascal @wildemaven @sourccream @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @amanitacowboy @morning-star-joy

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel the last of us #joel miller the last of us #joel miller fic #joel tlou #dark joel miller #joel miller angst #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #the last of us fanfiction #tlou x reader #tlou hbo #tlou fic #joel miller imagine #the last of us imagine #the last of us fic #the last of us hbo #pedro pascal fanfiction #tess tlou #tess servopoulos #burning in a hopeless dream #gwen and joel #tight jeans javi

[caseythebunnyboy]

! MINORS, HOMO/TRANSPHOBES, TERFS/RADFEM, PRO-ANA, DETRANS/MISGENDER KINK, STRAIGHT MEN, STRAIGHT WOMEN & LESBIAN ONLY BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT !

!! WARNING !! this blog will contain hardcore kinks. please don't scroll through my blog if you are sensitive to these things, prioritize yourself.

hello, my name is casey! iam an 18 y/o, 5'4, south-east asian trans boy (he/him exclusively) that is going to be running this tumblr blog! im a bottom switch, which means that i prefer to be the one getting penetrated, but i can be both dom and/or sub while doing so.

taken emoji anons: 🗝️ || 🚂 || 🧸 || 🍅 || 👁️ || 🐺 || 🐦 || 🏹 || 🥀 || 🍡 || 🎸 || 👑🖤 ||

what i will be posting: mainly kinky text posts, nsfw art of myself, and sometimes ill show off my body in a nice outfit when im feeling more confident!

rules & info:

if you cross my boundaries 3 times, i will block you, no exceptions. depending on the severity of the crossing, i might block you instantly with no second chances.

if your blog makes me uncomfortable or i get a bad feeling from it, im blocking you.

sexting and roleplaying with me in my dms is allowed, but i will not send photos to you in dms! i dont feel comfortable doing that. so only strictly texting! i am fine with people sending me videos and photos though, but it depends on what you'll send me.

atleast say hi before chatting me, had someone say "worthless cunt" as their first dm and i blocked them lmao, its not hot to me. greeting me first would be nice.

if you are going to sext and/or rp with me, please keep my kink and no-no lists in mind, i have boundaries too.

only those that arent women and arent exclusively attracted to only women are allowed to sext with me. sorry to the women out there who wanted to, but im not attracted to you... but im sure you're still very pretty, and theres many other people who'd want to chat with you!

what to call my genitals: cock, dick, boy cunt, cunt, cunny, boypussy, bunny pussy, wet hole, front hole, little/small/tight hole, needy hole, bunny hole! (please dont call it a vagina, clit or just "pussy" by itself. only calling it a "pussy" without my preferred additions is something i can excuse sometimes, but i dont like it. vagina and clit will get u straight up blocked.)

what to call my chest area: chest. thats it. if you call it tits, boobs, or anything like that i will block you. even if you say "boy tits" or "man boobs" you are still getting blocked. its either you only refer to it as a chest or you never refer to it at all.

inbox and asks are always open! please send me threats of what you'll do to me if you find me, what you want to do to me, and if you got off to anything i post 💜

my kinks: cnc, somno, teacher/student, power imbalance/dynamic, roleplaying, voice kink, degrading and/or praising me, dry humping/grinding, humiliation, free use, gangbang, overstim, edging, orgasm control/denial, impact play, begging, namecalling, pet play, watersports, monsterfucking, tentacles, breeding (no preg, makes me dysphoric), creampie (also no preg, same reason), cum dump, bondage, shibari, being punished, manhandling, size kink, treating me like your toy, making me into a sex slave, being protective/possessive, dumbification, claiming, jealous/angry sex, rough sex, and teasing. (theres prob alot more but theres so many that i forget lol)

kinks that are hard no's: feet, knife/gunplay, feeder/feedee, ed, choking, scat, vomit, age play, misgendering kink, detrans kink, calling me any term mainly used for women (good girl, queen, princess, babygirl, using she/her for me), drug play, bioessentialism, pregnancy, forced feminization, and gore.

things i like being called: baby boy, bunny boy, little bunny, little boy, cunt boy, bunny, bun bun

tags: #casey ★ grumbling for little (often nsfw) text posts/rambles/thoughts that i dont think are interesting enough to be in other tags, #casey ★ mumbling for text posts, #casey ★ answering for ask posts, #casey ★ doodling for drawings, #casey ★ peeking for body pictures, #casey ★ speaking for important announcements/posts, and #casey ★ sharing for reblogs!

also! this is all a fantasy, i do not actually want this to happen to me. consent and safety is very important in kink, sex and bdsm. i do not condone these actions being done unconsensually.

thats all! i hope my blog can make your dicks throb 💜

#casey ★ grumbling #casey ★ mumbling #casey ★ answering #casey ★ doodling #casey ★ peeking #casey ★ speaking #casey ★ sharing #gay ns/fw #ftm nsft #mlm ftm #mlm ns/fw #mlm nsft #ftm sub #ftm bottom #ftm cnc #ftm somno #gay nsft #trans nsft #trans sub #trans bottom #t4t ns/fw #ftm t4t #t4t nsft #queer nsft #queer ns/fw #bd/sm community

[taytrashmouth]

Social status

Eddie Munson x female reader.

You had been going out with Eddie for about 3 months now, you were head over heals for him but he was still insecure, unsure that you actually liked him.

Eddie had been crushing on you for about 3 years now, but he was in a group for social rejects that played a fantasy game and you were on the cheer squad.

The truth is you started talking one night after one of corroded coffins gigs at the hideout. You had gone for a drink to clear your head and ended up telling Eddie you liked his music which lead to several other conversations and a month later several make out sessions.

Eddie had insisted that you kept your relationship quiet, at first he thought he didn’t want to be seen with you but he quickly explained that it was the complete opposite, he would love to show you off, however he was worried about your friends on the cheer squad and their jock boyfriends, he was worried that they’d mock you, that you would be embarrassed of him.

You had said many times that you didn’t care about popularity and social status but he insisted.

Gareth was explaining how he got rejected yet again while mike rambled on about how long distance sucked.

“Yeah I’m glad I don’t have to do long distance, I don’t think I’d be-“ Eddie stopped himself when he realized what he had said and saw the open mouthed gapes of the other guys.

Dustin broke out laughing and so did the rest of the table.

“You really had me for a minute there man.”

Eddie frowned.

“Yeah no way does Eddie Munson have a girlfriend.” Gareth shook his head.

“I do have a girlfriend.”

“Is she hot too?” Mike joked.

“Yes.” Eddie crossed his arms.

They began to laugh again.

“Who is she?” Dustin asked.

“Can’t say.” He shrugged.

“Totally fake.” Eddie heard someone mumble.

“Do you have your scrunchie? I didn’t bring my extra one.” Chrissy asked.

“Shit! I’ll be right back.” You told her.

You walked over to your boyfriends table, smiling at the sight of his long hair and his deep brown eyes.

“Hey Ed’s?” You asked as you approached.

He looked up at you baffled, the rest of the table looked confused and worried.

“Do you still have my tigers scrunchie?” You asked.

It was a green and orange scrunchie with the school’s team logo printed on it, you needed it for the game tonight.

Eddie pulled up his jacket sleeve revealing the scrunchie that was hidden there and handed it to you still looking a little concerned you were talking to him at school.

“Oh my god thank you, you’re a lifesaver, Chrissy didn’t have a spare.”

“Anytime babe.” Eddie slightly smiled at the rest of his table as you ran back off to your friends who asked why Eddie had your scrunchie but you had simply used the ‘I was tutoring him and I left it at his place.’ Excuse.

“No way.” Dustin shook his head.

“It’s a joke.” Lucas scoffed.

“You, Eddie the freak Munson are dating y/n l/n!? I don’t buy it.” Mike added.

“What do you mean you don’t buy it she was just over here.” Eddie sighed.

“What’d you pay her?” Gareth asked.

Eddie just rolled his eyes.

Later that day in the empty girls bathroom that had been abandoned for repairs, you were fixing your makeup and doing you hair in your tiny cheer uniform as Eddie ranted about how the guys didn’t believe him.

“I mean they saw it didn’t they!?” He exclaimed.

“Yeah but I don’t know Ed’s…maybe they’re just-“ you paused trying to find the right word.

“Jealous? In denial? Hate seeing their friends happy?” Eddie added sarcastically as you put on mascara.

“Yeah.” You sighed as he hugged you from behind.

“Hey? Can you come to hellfire tonight…after the game.” Eddie asked.

“Yeah of course.” You smiled, he planted a kiss on your head and you went your separate ways.

You had done your routine and Hawkins had yet another victory.

You quickly ran to the art room, fetching a project you’d been working on for weeks.

You sprinted down the halls bursting into the drama room while Eddie’s voice came to haunt and everyone turned to you.

“Hey.” You waved slightly.

Eddie stated wide eyed at you, you had taken your old cheer uniform and redecorated.

You had made it black and white, cropped the shirt and added the hellfire logo to the shirt.

All the boys gaped at you.

“Ed’s?”

He snapped out of his trance and gestured for you to come over to him.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into his lap making you giggle.

“I love you.” He whispered into your ear for the first time.

You blushed.

“Love you too.” You whispered back looking up at him.

“So how do you play?” You spoke up with a smile the other boys quickly adjusting and beginning to explain what was going on.

Needless to say they never made any remarks about Eddie’s dating life again, especially not after you had made the winning dice roll and Eddie had kissed you in pure excitement.

You went to a lot of hellfire sessions after that, playing and helping out, watching and just being there for Eddie really.

#stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie x reader #eddie stranger things #eddie munson #y/n #hellfiremunsonn #female reader #st4 fanfic #stranger things fanfiction

[fma03envy]

Thinking about Ed and Al and themes of appearances/body vs maturity...

Thinking about how young Ed probably looked as a state alchemist at 12, especially given how small he is at his age, especially next to Al. How annoyed he always is at people underestimating him or calling him short. How sometimes the facade breaks a bit and you can see that the annoyance is partly exaggerated on his part (see: Ed laughing along with Elisa when she comments about his height. Pinako basically going "wow he doesn't get the joke huh :/" when Armstrong takes issue with Ed yelling at Pinako for calling him short). The "you have to grow up some time" thing with Psiren and how she goes back and forth between talking about Ed like a child vs an adult to be creepy and he has no real idea how to react and by the end of the episode is still uncertain/doesn't conceptualize how gross she was being. Nina at 12 vs Marcoh at 15; "I may not have grown an inch since then but I can't let my heart stay stunted!"

Al's height and how big and "imposing" he's looked since he was 10 and how people so often treat him more like an adult than Edward. The scene in Resembool where young Winry is gawking at Al's new form. "Brother, am I scary?" on the train to Central, where Al wanted to become a state alchemist to help Ed but couldn't take on that role due to the form he was in. Nina asking if Al's armor is heavy and him saying it's ok because he's strong. Al being mistaken for Ed's father and Ed being amused about it. Mustang and co mocking Ed and calling him childish after the fight with Scar, and Ed being unhappy but Al rejoicing at being treated like a child, in his eyes for the first time since he got his armor. (The idea of being a child is being associated both with protection/not everything being on you and a lack of autonomy). Al awkwardly apologizing to Rose/Ross+Brosh/etc for Ed's immaturity because being falsely assumed to be in a more adult position makes him feel obligated to act like he is (the Fullmetal Alchemist must protect his little brother; no one seems to know which one the Fullmetal Alchemist is)

Ed making a point of staying quiet during his automail attachment when most adults apparently scream because at least he has a human body, unlike Al; each Elric brother wanting to get the other's body back first because each feels responsible for the other's state, even though Al's condition is far more grave (both see maturity/taking responsibility as nearly indistinguishable from self-sacrifice?) (Reflected also in Ed trading his arm for Al in the first place?)

The scene where Ed accidentally hits Al in the face with a teacup, and because Al doesn't have expressions/can't feel it, for a second you wonder if he'll just brush it off, until you hear the distress in his voice. The way before Ed can really acknowledge this or apologize Ross comes in and calls Ed a child (just like her first impression of him by appearance that he wants to surpass) as a way of criticizing his denial about the stone (as such implying that Al in opposing him was modeling what it was to be an adult/authority; her first impression of him by appearance). And Ed relents while Al stays quiet in the background for the rest of the scene. (How this probably further reinforced the "being childlike is when you burden people and maturity is when you get hurt in another's name" thing in both brothers' minds)

(I'm just noticing Themes here more than trying to be coherent; I'm nowhere near done with my rewatch yet so I know for a fact that there are other parts to this I haven't gotten to yet)

#I have to overthink fma03 or ill die #adrien says stuff #fma #fma 03 #edward elric #alphonse elric #god. both of them were forced to grow up way too early is my main takeaway #fma rewatch #headcanons analysis au ideas and such

[gayboss-too-close-to-the-sun]

In defense of trashy ya dystopias

Okay, I’ll admit it: Hunger Games is an excellent book. It is powerful and well crafted, and deserves to be an eternal classic. I’m not sure any of the ya dystopias that followed it were quite so good, and I understand why they get mocked so often. Still, I think they deserve a better rep than they get.

Now, I understand that some ya dystopias are really, really bad. The only literary criticism that would call them good art would be a reader response based method that just says “well, some people like them so they must be good!” I don’t think that’s exactly how art works, but to an extent, that’s true. If a book inspired someone, encouraged them to read, and broadened their view of the world, who are we to say that it’s not worth reading? No matter how terrible a book is, it can at least make someone a bit more passionate about reading, and that’s value enough.*

First, I have to talk about Divergent. It makes me sad how many people hate that series. There are some valid criticisms, but most of it doesn’t make sense to me. People accuse Tris of being flat and basic, saying she’s an overpowered Mary Sue of a blank slate. That in particular confuses me. Tris isn’t dull and underdeveloped, she’s depressed. She’s reactive because she doesn’t care enough to be proactive. She’s numb, which comes across as her being unemotional. Now, we can debate whether that makes her a bad choice as a main character, but I won’t stand for her being painted as a bad character.

I was horribly depressed when I read Divergent. Watching Tris made all the difference in my life. I related to her when she threw a chair from the roof and watched it shatter on the concrete below, wishing she could follow it. I would have followed her to her death when she convinced herself that dying for her friends was noble sacrifice, not suicide, not the easy way out. I nearly cried when she realized at the last moment that she didn’t want to die, that she had to choose to keep going. I watched her build her life back up, even through the misery, pain and loss. I watched her find happiness, and I broke down when she gave it all up to protect someone else, someone who was trying to throw away his life out of guilt and grief. She sacrificed everything she had to give him a chance to fight through it and become someone better. She would have done the same for me. I needed to keep going, to honor that sacrifice and follow in her lead. Tris taught me to fight, and I am so grateful.

The Maze Runner was one of my favorite series. My longest completed story I’ve written was a trilogy of (unfortunately very straight) TMR fanfiction. I know it’s pretty garden variety dystopia, but it was very meaningful to me.

I think part of what made it special was having a male protagonist. Most ya dystopias are centered on teen girls, the intended audience, and while TMR could have used more diversity of gender in the cast, it was nice to see myself in the main character (although I like to believe I’m not that stupid). Thomas is also a very competent MC, which is always appreciated, and it feels earned more than Gary Stu-ed.

TMR has, despite not having any canonical evidence, a lot of gay ships in the fandom, probably because the boys all have a ton of chemistry and there are no girls (pretty much). I was deep in denial (see my straight fanfic), but TMR still gave my budding queerness a place to grow. While insisting that being gay was wrong and my homosexual crushes were Not Gay, I still managed to have very strong feelings on which Maze Runner ships are correct (Newt X Alby and Thomas X Minho, Newtmas shippers fight me). Being represented, even if I didn’t know it at the time, was so important to me.

Lastly, TMR taught me bravery. It taught me that even if things are just going to get worse, you have to try and make it out. I look at the world around me, and it’s not hard to imagine the Flare, or WICKED gaining power. Us kids have been handed the burden of fixing the world, and I need all the courage I can get. Like I say in my fanfic (the AWWWB series on Wattpad, first book called Good Grief), “Maybe the universe is just cruel. But… if we don’t know what’s outside of the Maze, then we’d better hold on to the fact that it’s just as likely to be a good place as a bad one.” We have to keep hoping that something better is coming eventually, even if it never does. We have to keep fighting.

I don’t have any others in mind right now, but I want to hear about other books (dystopian or not) that made more of a difference than they’re given credit for. Seriously, I want y’all to defend Twilight, to champion the Matched series. Tell me how they changed your life.

*note: books that spread harmful messages are different than poorly written books, but that’s a whole conversation by itself, so we’re going to be idealists in this post and pretend that’s not an element while acknowledging that in the real world it’s a true and harmful thing

#dystopia #ya books #divergent #veronica roth #the maze runner #tmr #james dashner #thg #the hunger games

[jusvibbbin]

Deep Denial

Ed Mercer x Female!Reader

“Lay in a course for…”

Captain Ed Mercer could barely pay attention to what Commander Grayson was saying as he gazed at the newly transferred navigator. Lieutenant (Y/N). She was cute, a bright and eager smile was on her face when she first came onboard. He’d never admit it, but from that moment on, she took up a significant portion of his thoughts.

It didn’t help that she seemed to be getting along well with the rest of the bridge crew, Gordon taking a shine to her instantly. Which led to him inviting her to get drinks with a few of them after shift. Which led to the events of the previous night…

After a long and fairly boring day, about half the bridge crew was in the mess having a drink. Gordon, in his infinite wisdom, had insisted on saving Ed a seat, so he had to sit in between his helmsman and his new navigator. He walked in while Gordon was telling some long and highly embarrassing story from their time at Point and he tried not to groan as he sat down. 

“Yeah and then Ed totally fell in the pool. It was nuts!” The table chuckled collectively as Ed just shook his head and jerked his thumb towards the new navigator.

“Trying to humiliate me in front of the newbie?”

“Always, man,” the ginger chuckled before launching into another tale. Ed had glanced over to find said newbie eyeing him. She looked flustered at getting caught, burying her face in her glass as he looked back at his friend, the smallest of smiles on his face.

As the night winded down, he offered to walk her to her quarters.

It’s the captain-ly thing to do. I’m just being nice. It’s on the way.

All not quite lies but not total truths as they walked in silence.

“So…how do you like it so far?”

“Oh! Uh, I mean it's only been a couple days…”

“Right, duh sorry.” He kicked himself a little.

“Everyone has been really nice so far, if that’s any indication,” she offered.

“Sounds about right. Can’t be hard to be nice to someone so-” His brain finally stopped his tipsy train of thought dead in its tracks, but (Y/N) had looked at him expectantly as they stopped in front of her door.

“Well uh, this is you. See you tomorrow, Lieutenant,” he had quickly, and loudly, announced before high-tailing it out of there.

“Ed?”

“Hm?” He pulls himself out of his thoughts with a little start, looking over at Kelly and her quirked eyebrow.

“Is that alright with you?”

“Yeah, definitely.” He nods but has no idea what she asked him. Kelly relaxes back into her seat so it must’ve been the right answer and Ed attempts to shake off his wandering thoughts for the remainder of the day.

Later that day Ed is in the mess, sharing a beer with the empty chair across from him as he looks over daily reports. His attention is quickly stolen by a flash of orange moving near him. As he glances behind him, he can see his new navigator taking a seat at the table over with some other lieutenant dressed in green. He quickly looks back at his work, not wanting to seem weird, but a small, quiet part of him wishes he could look at her for longer.

“How are you liking it here so far?” The other woman asks.

“I mean, it's okay,” she answers hesitantly. “I’m just worried I’m not gonna find my fit here, Lux.” He can hear the other woman, presumably called Lux, hum in response. He knows he definitely shouldn’t be eavesdropping but he can’t help being a little nosey.

“What do you think of the bridge at least?’

There’s a short pause as she seems to think over her answer.

“I like everyone, I think. Lieutenant Malloy is pretty funny.”

“Sounds like you’re interested. He’s cute!” 

“No, no, no. Not like that,” she chuckles awkwardly.

“Good. I’ve already called dibs,” Lux chuckles, and Ed can almost feel (Y/N)’s eyeroll.

“Have at it. No, I think I would rather wait for Ed.”

Said captain chokes on his beer as the two women look over at him.

“Are you alright, sir?” The navigator gives him a look of concern that he attempts to wave off.

“I’m fine,” he insists. Both women eye him warily before turning back to their conversation.

“Yeah, I would rather wait instead. Someone can approach me, you know?”

Ed flushes a bright red as he curses himself softly. He had completely misheard her and now he felt rather foolish. He quickly gathers his things, deciding it’s probably for the best that he avoids Lieutenant (Y/N) for the time being as he hastily exits the mess, much to the confusion of the two women.

--

Unfortunately for Ed, avoiding social interaction is easier said than done. Gordon’s birthday rolls around only a week later and the captain finds himself heading to his ginger friend’s quarters. As he heads in, he’s instantly amused at seeing Lux chatting up the birthday boy as the bridge crew and a few people from engineering mill about. He scans the room as he moves to drop his present on the table, spotting (Y/N) speaking with Talla. He’s content to look for a moment before moving to get a drink.

“Oh, good idea,” he can hear Gordon say to the woman before addressing the whole group. “Truth or dare,” he calls. Most everybody moves towards the couches and Ed makes his way over to sit on the floor by the coffee table. A few timid rounds pass as he works his way through a couple beers before John dares Gordon to kiss someone. The ginger man grins before grabbing Lux’s face and planting a kiss on her lips. There’s a couple little oohs before he pulls away, and the woman’s flushed face only makes his grin wider. Ed rolls his eyes, finishing off a beer as his friend points at him.

“Truth or dare, Ed?”

He does his best not to groan, tipsiness already taking over his body.

“Uh, truth?”

“Lame!” John heckles as Gordon waves him off.

“Okay uh… when did you have your first kiss?” He grins at Lux who just playfully rolls her eyes.

Ed pauses for a good few moments, trying to really answer the question.

“I was twenty I think? Which I know is pretty late, but I thought it should be like special so I was saving it. I don’t think that anymore. In fact, I keep kissing people when I should be saving them for something special. Not like that’s happened anytime recently… I don’t know.”

He flushes a deep red when he realizes he’d started rambling, sharing way more than was asked or that anyone would be comfortable with. He wants to just about die when he looks up and locks eyes with (Y/N), looking at him with concern. He chuckles awkwardly as his eyes dart to literally anyone else and land on Bortus. “Truth or dare, man.”

“Dare. It is the only option.”

“I uh… dare you to eat that,” he points at one of Gordon’s couch pillows, getting up to slip away during the chaos as the birthday boy tries to wrestle the pillow out of the Moclan’s hands.

--

After the incredibly awkward exit from the night before, Ed is doing his best to avoid as many party goers as he can. He’s doing well, staying at home for most of the day, until Kelly calls him to pick up some reports with no time to drop them off. He groans but gets into some casual clothes to go to his XO’s office. It’s a quick trip, and he’s almost home free when he spots a couch in the middle of the corridor. He pauses, looking around for an owner before Lieutenant (Y/N) pops out of her nearby quarters.

“Oh, captain!” She stands at attention as he waves her to relax.

“Making the place a home?”

She chuckles awkwardly, nodding.

“I’m trying, but clearly it’s not going well…”

He mulls over his next words very carefully.

“Let me help you,” he offers with a smile.

“You don’t have to! I wouldn’t want you to waste your free day!”

“I’ve moved a few couches in my day,” he tries to joke before calling over a few crewmen to help him lift her sofa and move it into her living room area. Once it's in the perfect spot and the other crewmen have left, Ed goes to take his leave.

“Thank you again, captain.”

“Really, it's no trouble, Lieutenant,” he assures with a smile. “What was I gonna do? Let a pretty girl like you move it all by herself?”

The heat rises to each of their faces simultaneously as the silence between them thickens.

“I should uh,” he gestures back to the door.

“Yeah, I really need to uh,” she gestures back into her quarters.

Ed gives her a tight-lipped look and nods as he skedaddles his way home, beyond embarrassed.

--

A few days later and Ed is still doing his best to avoid looking at (Y/N) whenever he can. But it’s even more noticeable on the bridge and Kelly can’t help but mention it to someone else as she heads towards the shuttle bay with Gordon.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?” The ginger looks over at her questioningly.

“Ed seem weird with the new girl?”

“Oh thank god, let’s talk about it.”

Kelly chuckles as they get into the elevator.

“Yeah, he’s been really weird this whole week. I think he likes her.”

“No, he definitely does,” Gordon nods as the doors open and they walk into the bay.

“Maybe… No, I don’t want to overstep,” Kelly waves a dismissive hand.

“I do. Are we gonna play matchmaker, Commander?”

“If you’re down, I’m down, Lieutenant.”

And as the shuttle heads towards the planet, Kelly and Gordon come up with a perfect plan.

Ed sighs as Gordon finishes telling him about the night’s plans.

“I don’t really feel up to a party dude…”

“Come on, Mercer. It’ll be fun, aaaand a great way to welcome (Y/N) to the Bridge Babes.” The brunette gives his ginger friend a look at the dorky nickname before shrugging.

“Fine. But I’m not gonna stay very late, I’m tired.”

“Sick! You won’t regret it. Kelly and I have everything all planned out…”

Ed gives Gordon a suspicious look.

“You said that weird.”

“No I didn’t,” the red-head denies instantly, and Ed just rolls his eyes.

“Whatever, man. I’ll see you at 1900.”

Far too soon for Ed’s liking the appointed hour rolls around and he forces himself to head to the simulator. When the doors open, he can see the bridge crew milling about a small, 21st century bar. As he walks in, he scans the room until his eyes land on (Y/N). She’s far too busy talking to Kelly to notice his gaze and he quickly turns to order a beer from the bar.

“Hey glad you made it!” Gordon quickly wraps an arm around his best friend’s shoulders as he gives him his best smile.

“I said I would come.”

“Yeaaaah but I’m still glad you’re here.” 

“Yeah, me too.” He glances back at the two women again, seeing them move to sit at a table.

“Wanna go sit?” Gordon tries his best to be casual as he turns to get himself another beer.

“Oh, uh, nah. I’d rather sit up here. Can get drinks faster,” he jokes as Gordon chuckles.

“Sure, man. Sure.”

A few downed beers later, Ed is a bit more malleable and Gordon migrates them over to the table. As they take a seat, a tipsy Captain sends his navigator a warm smile.

“Hey Ed. How are you?” Kelly’s voice pulls his gaze and he nods.

“I’m good. How are you two?”

“I’m fine. Gordon and I are gonna get more drinks. Want anything?”

The brunette shakes his head as the Commander stands and looks to (Y/N). She shakes her head as well and the other two head for the bar.

“So, I asked how you were…”

“Oh! Oh, um… I’m okay, captain. Thank you.”

“Ed is fine when we’re off duty.” “Alright, Ed.” She hums, trying it out as he smiles at her.

“Have you decided if you like it here yet?”

She shrugs a little. 

“I think so,” she takes a sip as Ed moves to follow suit.

“You think or you know?”

She gives him a confused look.

“Capt- Ed… Why are you so worried about what I think of the Orville?”

He blinks for a minute, trying to formulate a good answer.

“I just… want you to feel welcome,” he says honestly. He glances over at her as she gives him a little smile. He can’t help but return it with that signature grin of his.

Their conversation flows easily after this, Ed asking her questions about herself and retelling some of the crew’s best adventures. As they gab and polish off their drinks, Ed offers to get them another round. But as he turns to stand and moves to the bar, he notices the rest of the bridge crew is gone.

“Uh…I think we got ditched.”

(Y/N) looks over and tilts her head.

“Oh…I guess we did.”

Ed moves to get them drinks anyway before returning to the table to find the woman chuckling.

“What’s so funny?” He slides the drink over to her.

“I just am surprised I guess,” she says as she reaches for her glass.

“Surprised about what?”

“About you.”

He looks a little worried and she waves his anxiety away.

“Honestly, up until now, I thought you just weren’t able to talk to me. Maybe you didn’t like me, I don’t know,” she admits.

Ed brow furrows as he tries to think clearly about the past few days. 

“No… No, (Y/N), I like you a lot.”

She gives him a smile as she sets her glass back down.

“I like you too, Ed.”

He takes a gulp of his beer and, feeling brave, speaks again.

“No, I like really like you. A lot.”

Her face definitely heats up as she smiles into her glass.

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely, yeah,” he hiccups.

The lieutenant looks around the bar before downing her drink and standing.

“Did you wanna get out of here?”

Ed blinks up at her for a moment then stands, beer long forgotten.

“Yeah. May I?” He holds out a hand to her and she takes it. Ed gives her that damn smile of his as he leads her out of the sim and into the corridor.

They stroll through the ship until they reach her quarters and she releases him. He preps himself to bid her a goodnight once her door is open, but instead she pulls him inside.

“Stay?”

Ed makes a skeptical face.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea…”

She scoffs out a chuckle.

“I asked if you would stay, not if you would have sex with me,” she teases drunkenly as he chuckles.

“...okay sure, I’ll stay.”

She takes his hand and leads him to her bedroom. She disappears into the bathroom to change as Ed takes off his shoes and lays down. When she comes back out, she turns the lights off and slips under the covers beside him.

“Hey, Ed?”

“Yeah, (Y/N)?”

“I really like you, too.”

He smiles at her, tucking some hair behind her ear before getting comfy and falling asleep.

The next morning, Ed groans as he rubs his eyes. When he finally opens them, he sees a painkiller and water on an unfamiliar nightstand. He takes it quickly before rolling over to see (Y/N) peeking at him.

“Hi,” she says softly as his face pales.

“Did we…?”

“No, no…”

“Oh good.”

They lay in silence for about a minute as they each think about what to say.

“I should go…” He says as he sits up, (Y/N) quickly sitting up as well. 

“Yeah, okay…”

“Last night was fun, from what I remember,” he offers as he gets out of bed.

“Yeah it was.” She follows him out of her room and into the living room while he attempts to tug his shoes on.

“See you on the bridge.”

Before the door can swish open, she grabs his hand to stop him.

“Wait!”

As he turns back to her, (Y/N) gives him a quick peck. Ed is sure he’s a bright red as he looks at her, surprised. Before her anxiety can catch up with her, he leans down to capture her lips for longer.

“Think they fell for it?”

“Are you doubting my sim programming abilities?”

“No, no. It definitely looked like the whole bridge was there. But if they talk to anyone besides us they’ll find out.”

“That’s okay,” the ginger shrugs. “Once they figure it out, they’ll be too into each other to care.”

#the orville #ed mercer #ed mercer x reader #oneshot #female reader #orville

[hockeynoses]

baby, you burn so hot

Another Steddie sickfic!  This time with a fever. 🔥

Summary: Steve is coming down with the flu, but he’s in denial and is outside working on the house. Eddie has to haul his ass inside and make him stay in bed.

Warnings: 18+!  5k. There’s consensual fever fucking at the end of this. I dabbled and it turns out I’m into it. 😅

There’s not too much mess and no contagion, as Eddie has his flu shot. Not as much snz content as my usual, but it’s still there, for sure.

Notes: Two posts helped inspire this fic!  First, the snz + fighting post by sickromancer. And the ‘apologizing for their fever post’ by allthewhumpygoodness. 🙏 Title from that Ed She/eran song, which is a pretty kinky song, if you ask me.

---

It’s a chilly Saturday in November and the wind is sweeping through the trees, forcing the few leaves that are still on the branches to cling on for dear life.

“Why are you out here when you’re sick?” Eddie asks, brows furrowed and hands on his hips as he looks up at Steve precariously perched on a ladder, cleaning out the gutters. He’d gotten home from work and hadn’t even had time to take his jacket off before he found Steve out back.

“I’b dnot sick,” Steve says without looking away from his task.

Eddie levels him with an unimpressed look. “You looked like shit this morning, and you’ve been sneezing all day.”

“Id’s allergies.”

“You don’t get allergies in the fall.”

“B’aybe now I do,” Steve shrugs.

“You’re shivering,” Eddie narrows his eyes.

“Yeah, itd’s cold out,” Steve says. At least he’s wearing a jacket. A small consolation, Eddie thinks.

“And yet, you appear to be sweating,” Eddie gestures at him, incredulous.

“I’b fine, Eddie,” Steve insists, turning back toward the gutter. He continues scooping out the debris, jabbing at it in agitation.

Eddie throws his hands up in frustration, pacing in a circle as he tries to decide on a new method of attack. He sighs pointedly. “Do you really need to do this right now?”

“Id has to gedt done before the windter,” Steve says stubbornly, sniffling as he wipes his nose with the back of his hand.

“It can’t be that big of a deal that it’s worth risking your health for.” Eddie hopes the concern in his voice will help his case.

“It just dneeds to get done! So I’b doing id!” Steve motions curtly to the gutters clogged with leaves, one hand gripping the wrung of the ladder. Twisting away from Eddie, he buries his face in his elbow as a harsh, “ha-EHISSSHHHah!” racks his frame. Eddie hears the metal of the ladder rattle against the roof with the movement and his anxiety ratchets up another notch.

“Get your ass down here now before I come up there and make you,” says Eddie, his stern tone brooking no argument. Not knowing what else to do, he wraps a steadying hand around the side rail of the ladder for extra support.

“Fugk you, I kdnow whatd I’b doing,” Steve says. Before he has time to cover, he’s bombarded by a violent double, “hih’RRISSSHH! Heh’ESSSHOO!” spraying the air in front of him as his hands clench the top of the ladder. Blinking, he comes back to himself, looking dazed.

“You’re getting worse by the second!” says Eddie, anger and concern mixing in his voice. “If you pass out on me, I swear-”

“I’b dnot going to fuckigg pass out, Jesus. How pathedic do you thigk I amb?” Steve’s brows knit together as he swipes at his damp nose.

“I didn’t say that!” Eddie yells, scrubbing a hand down his face in frustration.

“I’b perfectly capable of-”

“Just come down, please,” Eddie begs.

“ihh…hih’ZZCHHUH!” Another full-bodied, scraping sneeze bursts from him and he pitches forward with it, causing the ladder to wobble.

Eddie grabs at his ankle ineffectually, adrenaline piercing through him. He’s too far down to be of any real help.

“Hey!” An indignant squawk from Steve.

“I’m just steadying you!”

Steve shoots him a disbelieving look. “I have to come down and grab the hose, okay? Don’t try anything stupid,” Steve says. Eddie glares at him.

“You’re one to talk…” Eddie says under his breath, ignoring the look Steve gives him in response.

Steve takes a couple steps down the ladder, glancing at the hose on the ground. Now his waist is about level with Eddie’s shoulders. His breath hitches before erupting in another wrenching double, “Hih’GISSHH’iew! Heh’RRISSHoo!” The ladder shakes precariously again.

“Alright, that’s it. You’re done.” Eddie swoops in to grapple him. Wrapping both arms around Steve’s thighs, he presses bodily into Steve, taking the man’s weight and holding tight to his legs so he has no choice but to fall over Eddie’s shoulder, hands braced on Eddie’s lower back for purchase.

“What the fuck! Put me down, asshole!” Steve shouts, pissed off and dizzy from the rush of blood to his head. He squirms against Eddie’s hold, but he’s weaker than usual and doesn’t actually want to hurt him or send them both toppling to the ground.

“No. We’re going inside.” Eddie’s strong arms heft him securely into place before trekking across the lawn toward their house. Steve’s hands fist in the back of Eddie’s shirt, face burning with humiliation.

“Fuck you!” comes Steve’s indignant yell as he feels Eddie plant a hand on his ass to keep him steady.

“Maybe when you’re feeling better,” says Eddie, walking up the steps to the back door and opening it with ease. “That can be your reward for being a good patient.”

“You’re such a jackass,” Steve says, the fight slowly seeping out of him.

“Mmhmm,” Eddie agrees, unbothered and preoccupied with the effort of lugging Steve to their bedroom.

“I’b dnot going to go along with this,” Steve says with a half-hearted kick of his foot.

“Well, we’ll just have to see, won’t we?” Eddie carries him into their room and gently deposits him on top of the down comforter. Steve immediately tries to get up and Eddie stops him by pressing a firm hand into his chest. “Stay there.” Eddie swings a knee over Steve so he’s straddling him, pinning him with his weight and a hand on each wrist.

“Fugking bmake bme, you dick.” Steve struggles against him, putting up about half the fight that Eddie knows he’s capable of. It’s still a lot of work to keep him down, but Eddie is stronger than he looks.

“You know, normally you saying that would be sexy, but right now you’re just pissing me off,” says Eddie, grunting with the effort of restraining him.

“Good!” is the best Steve’s fever-addled brain can come up with.

“I could always call Dustin and have him come over to guilt trip you. Maybe you’d actually listen to him. Or maybe he’d just annoy the shit out of you, and you’d deserve it.” Eddie looks down at Steve, curtains of black wavy hair framing his face.

“You better fuckigg dnot. I don’t wandt him over here right dnow,” Steve says, pink nose scrunching up in a futile sniffle.

“You don’t want him to see you sick?” Eddie accuses.

“I’b dnot talking to you anybore,” Steve says, arms still straining against his hold.

“As long as you stay in bed, I don’t care if you talk to me or not,” Eddie says, fed up. He can feel Steve start to give in, collapsing back onto the pillow with a huff. Steve winces in pain and Eddie immediately takes his hands off him as if burned. Judging from Steve’s continuing look of discomfort, it’s either a headache or a fresh wave of the fever worsening. Eddie is quick to let his knees take more of his weight to make sure he’s not crushing him.

“Is it your head?” Eddie asks, the anger draining from his voice and giving way to concern.

“Yeah…but…” Steve rubs a hand over his eyes.

“But what?” Eddie asks carefully.

“But everything else hurts too,” Steve finally relents. Now that he’s in bed, the exertion of the past hour is hitting him all at once, too raw to ignore. His head is throbbing, his bones ache, and there’s a persistent chill skittering across his skin.

“Okay…you’re gonna stay here, and I’m gonna get you some Tylenol,” Eddie’s tone is serious but soft. Steve doesn’t give a response, but he doesn’t protest either, so Eddie counts it as a win. Heading out of the room, Eddie pins Steve with a look that clearly says don’t you dare move.

After a few short minutes, he returns with the goods. “Figured these might come in handy.” Eddie wiggles the box of tissues in the air before he sets it down on the nightstand. Steve spares him a glance, having changed quickly into a hoodie and sweatpants. Eddie’s hopeful that means he’s going to cooperate. He sees Steve shiver, unable to hide it, and says, “Alright, get under the covers for me. We’re not doing things by halves today.”

Once Steve is sitting up in bed, his lower half ensconced snugly in the covers, Eddie hands him the glass of water and Tylenol. Watches as Steve dutifully swallows the pills and sets the glass on the nightstand.

“Happy?” A grumpy look clouds Steve’s features.

“Thrilled.” Eddie volleys with a sarcastic smile. “Now lay down, you’re tiring me out just looking at you.” Taking in his glazed eyes and flushed face, he can tell Steve is feeling worse with each passing moment.

He can’t hide the way he gingerly moves his body to lay completely under the covers, or the sheen of sweat that’s already soaking through the center of his shirt. Resigned to his fate, he lets Eddie fuss with the top of the covers, pulling them up tight around his neck.

Satisfied that he has him right where he wants him, Eddie presses the back of his hand to Steve’s forehead, then his neck.

“God you’re burning up,” Eddie says, his sigh heavy with worry.

“I’b sorry,” Steve croaks out, woozy and exhausted. There’s sweat on his brow, and he feels like the fever is starting to scramble his brain. His eyes are heavy when he looks up at Eddie.

The words go straight to Eddie’s heart. His defenses have always been weak when it comes to Steve. He stares back at the other man and brushes the sweat-soaked hair from his forehead, saying, “It’s okay, sweetheart. You don’t have to apologize for being sick.”

“…I’b sorry I yelled at you too,” Steve says, voice low. Eddie pauses, takes that in. He looks down at Steve softly.

“Apology accepted,” he says with a formal press of a hand over his heart and a bow of his head like he’s a character in one of his campaigns. “I know you weren’t feeling like yourself.” He reaches out to brush his hand against Steve’s cheek. “Next time just let me take care of you from the get-go.”

“I can’t bmake any probises,” Steve gives a tired smile.

“Sense of humor’s still intact, that’s a good sign,” Eddie quotes with a smirk. That gets a small laugh from Steve, sending him into a brief coughing fit which he smothers into his fist.

“I really did thigk I was just tired,” he says, once he gets his breath back. The concerned look that Eddie pierces him with is almost too much for him to bear.

“Even if you didn’t have a fever, you shouldn’t let yourself get that worn out. What did I tell you about overworking yourself?” Eddie asks as he rubs a hand along Steve’s arm.

“I kdnow,” Steve groans and buries half his face into the pillow. “I jusd hate beigg useless.”

“You’re not useless, Steve,” Eddie scoffs. “Everyone gets sick sometimes and you deserve a break.” The air is thick with Steve’s silence – his only response.

“Well,” Eddie starts, feeling adrift and needing something to focus on, “The Tylenol you took should help with your fever, but let’s check it just in case.” Reaching behind the box of tissues, he grabs the thermometer he had snuck in earlier.

“Is thadt necessary?” Steve asks, voice thick with congestion.

“I’m afraid so. Now, say ‘ahh.’” He’s being kind of a dick and he knows it, but Steve had him really worried earlier and he needs a little levity, so sue him. When he tries to put the thermometer in Steve’s mouth, Steve turns his head away resolutely. A put-upon frown teases the corners of Eddie’s mouth.

“You should know I’m being very good right now and decidedly not making a joke about doing this rectally.”

Steve groans, covering his face with his hands. “I hate you.”

“You love me.” Eddie flashes a shit-eating grin. Peeking through the gaps in his fingers, Steve narrows his eyes at him, humming noncommittally. Eddie realizes that’s probably the best he’s going to get, given the circumstances.

“Come on, be good for me, baby.” The teasing lilt in Eddie’s voice causes Steve’s flush to deepen in a way that has nothing to do with his fever.

“If it’ll make you shut up, fine.” Steve opens his mouth and Eddie gently settles the thermometer under his tongue. He glances at his watch - one of his favorite gifts that Steve has given him over the years - to time the 60 seconds needed for the temperature reading. There’s barely enough time for to him to settle in for the wait before he hears the telltale hitch of Steve’s breath. His face is scrunching up, eyes fluttering. His nostrils are flaring, pink and wet, as he fans at his face, trying desperately to hold back.

“Steve… don’t-” But he can’t prevent the inevitable. Eddie doesn’t want to try to grab the thermometer and injure Steve in the process, or get caught in the crossfire of some truly disgusting mess. He has no choice but to let it happen, leaning to the side of where he’s seated on the bed as Steve snaps forward, unleashing a violent sneeze- “uh…Hah-AHRRSSHOO!” that sprays the air in front of him, sending the thermometer and no small amount of mist flying through the air.

The thermometer lands on top of the duvet covering Steve’s feet. Eddie’s eyes dart from the device back up to Steve’s face in disbelief.  Head still buzzing from the outburst, Steve blinks blearily and sniffs at the mess that’s now running down his upper lip. “Ugh. I thigk I dneed a tissue.”

Reigning in his shock, Eddie snaps into action. “Yeah, for sure,” he says, plucking a few from the box and handing them over.

Steve gratefully buries his nose in them, the sound of his long, clearing blow filling the bedroom. The pressure having shifted in his sinuses, he feels another tickle building, until- “Huh...ha-ESSSHHH’IUE!” another gnarly-sounding sneeze is smothered into the destroyed tissue. He groans, catching his breath. Then, a miserable, “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Here,” Eddie says, handing him some fresh tissues with a reassuring quirk of his lips. “I’m sorry you feel like shit.”

“Yeah, bme too.” After cleaning himself up, he sniffles to test that the persistent itch is finally gone. “Ogkay, I thigk we can try agaidn.”

“Okay.” Snatching the thermometer off the bed and thanking his lucky stars that he got that flu shot, he slowly places it back under Steve’s tongue. Seeing Steve’s lips parting so easily for him has his mind wandering, and he wills himself to think pure thoughts – to focus on the task at hand. He’s definitely going to some kind of special hell if he finds any of this hot.

“Alright, we only need to wait for one minute.” He glances at his watch again. With nothing left to do but wait, he turns his attention back to Steve. The flush on his face is…distracting, to say the least. The man is already gorgeous enough as it is. Steve senses the attention and meets his eyes. Eddie hopes he’s too out of it to catch him being mushy.

Needing to break the silence stretching out before them, Eddie says, “I should probably take advantage of this opportunity while I can. You being unable to talk back, and all.” Steve furrows his brow and flips him the bird. Eddie huffs out a laugh.

A few moments later, he checks his watch again. “Time’s up. Let’s see the damage.” Carefully grabbing the thermometer from Steve’s mouth, he reads the display. “101.5,” Eddie says with a tsking sound. “That’s not great, babe. I should at least get you a wet washcloth or something to cool you down a bit.”

“’kay,” comes Steve’s faint answer. It hasn’t escaped Eddie’s notice that his replies have been getting shorter and shorter. If he starts actually getting delirious, he’s going to have to call someone for help. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem like things are at that point yet; hopefully they can avoid it. He crosses his fingers that things will stay within the realm of his capability.

“I bet it’s the flu,” Eddie says, pointing at him with the thermometer before he sets it on the nightstand. “With a fever that high, and how fast it came on with your other symptoms. Plus, I got my flu shot through work because they had that thing, remember?  Which would explain why I didn’t get it.”

Steve glares at him and scrubs a finger under his nose, giving a productive sniff. “Good for you.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “At least now I can take care of you. Better that than having us both stuck in bed.”

Steve grumbles but doesn’t say anything to the contrary.

“I’ll be right back,” Eddie says. Steve just barely stops himself from reaching out before Eddie stands up. Eddie doesn’t know whether to be relieved or worried that he’s so readily accepting help now.

A few minutes later, he returns with a cool washcloth. Steve is dozing right where he left him, but he has a pained look on his face.

“Hey sweetheart, I’m gonna put this on your forehead, alright? It should help you feel a little better, at least,” Eddie says as he swipes the sweaty hair out of Steve’s face.

Steve turns toward him with a quiet, achy sound. Eddie places the cool cloth on his forehead and Steve is grateful for the momentary relief. Taking a deep breath, he focuses on the sensation and mumbles, “Mm… feels good.”

“We’re gonna get you feeling better; don’t worry, okay? I’ll be right here with you,” Eddie says, placing a hand over Steve’s heart. “You gotta tell me what you need, though. And be honest about how you’re feeling.”

“Uh huh.”

“And it would make me feel better if you ate something at some point,” Eddie says, deciding to press his luck.

“’m not hungry.” Steve’s so tired that it doesn’t even come out as bratty, just kind of pathetic, and it breaks Eddie’s heart.

“Tough shit,” Eddie jokes softly, giving a soft smile and lightly rubbing Steve’s chest. “I want you to try and eat anyway. Didn’t we just agree that listening to me was a good idea?”

“Yeah,” Steve says, too weak to argue.

“I’ll let you rest a bit while I go heat up some soup. You don’t even have to eat all of it if you don’t want to,” says Eddie. He starts to pull away to head into the kitchen when he feels Steve’s shaky grip around his forearm.

“Don’t go,” Steve says, his voice nearly a whisper.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby,” Eddie says, serious. The fever is making Steve emotional and he really doesn’t want to fuck it up. “I’ll just be down the hall for a few minutes to make us something, and then I’ll be back, and we can spend the rest of the night in bed.”

“Okay,” The answer seems to satisfy Steve, who curls on his side and buries his face into the pillow. “Thanks.”

“Of course,” Eddie says, readjusting the cloth on Steve’s head. “I’ll be right back.”

He heats the soup on the stove as quickly as he can, anxious about leaving Steve alone. When he returns to the bedroom with a bowl in each hand, Steve is dozing fitfully. It takes away some of the guilt Eddie has about waking him. Eating will help in the long run anyway; he doubts Steve has eaten in hours and low blood sugar always makes him restless.

Mind made up, he gently shakes Steve awake with a hand on his shoulder. Bleary, fever-bright eyes open and meet his. It takes a moment for Steve to register where he is.

Eddie has always worn his emotions on his sleeve, and he makes no attempt to conceal his love for the other man, looking down at him, his gaze warm and sweet as honey.

“There he is.”

Steve scrubs at his face and turns toward him. There are pillow marks on his cheek and Eddie has to tamp down the desire to kiss them.

“Here – sit up and have some soup,” Eddie says, setting the bowls on the nightstand. He stops short of actually helping him sit up, knowing Steve would hate it, settling for adjusting the pillow behind him instead.

“Just eat what you can. It’ll help you sleep,” he says as he hands Steve a bowl before crawling to sit under the covers beside him. “You don’t feel nauseous or anything, right?”

“I don’t think so…” Steve looks at the bowl in his hands warily.

“Okay, good! Dig in, then.” Eddie hopes his tone is encouraging. They eat, Steve manages to finish half his soup before handing it to Eddie and laying back down. Setting the dishes on the nightstand for later, Eddie grabs the book he’s currently working his way through and gets comfortable. He would offer to read out loud, but Steve is probably going to fall right back asleep and doesn’t need the distraction.

Warm arms snake around his lap as Steve scoots closer, burying his face in the side of Eddie’s hip. Eddie wraps his arm around Steve’s shoulders and gives his arm a squeeze. The fever is still burning through him, and a whine sneaks out of him as he rubs his hot forehead against Eddie’s side, squirming with discomfort. Eddie frowns, wishing he could do more. At this point, there’s nothing to do but wait it out.

“Thank you for staying,” the murmur is so quiet Eddie almost misses it. His chest goes warm.

“Of course, sweetheart.” He gives his arm another reassuring squeeze and feels Steve sigh into him. “Just rest now.” The rhythm of Steve’s breathing slows and evens out, interrupted every so often by a congested snuffle. Eddie watches him for a bit, heart full, then turns back to his book, happy to be here for him if he needs anything.

---

“You sure this is okay?” Eddie checks in again.

“Yeah,” Steve looks up at him, eyes glassy and fever-bright. “Distract me.” Make me forget how shitty I feel, he thinks through the fog currently burning through his brain.

He had woken up half an hour ago, feeling okay enough to refresh himself in the bathroom and have a snack. The exertion from just that had him achy and longing to lay down again, so here he was back in bed, furious with his own body. His skin felt tight and itchy. Torn between wanting to be sedated and wanting to shake out of his skin, he had turned to Eddie and caught the other man staring at him. Noticed how he turned away, guilty, when caught. Which is how they ended up in their current predicament, after Steve assured him many times that, yes, this is okay, yes, he wants to. Anything to take his mind of the fever twisting him into knots.

Eddie has his weight braced on his arms, resting on either side of Steve’s head. Steve is splayed out beneath him, sweating on top of the sheets. There’s a flush on his face that travels all the way down to his chest. Eddie wants to chase it with his tongue.

He settles between Steve’s legs, bending down to press a kiss to his hot forehead. Moves on to kiss the bridge of his nose, across his cheek and under his jaw. Leaning back, his hands travel down to Steve’s thighs, big hands splayed across the width of them, digging into the muscle there and pulling them up so they’re firm around Eddie’s waist. A gasp is forced from Steve’s throat at the feeling of their cocks sliding together through their sweatpants. Eddie curls forward and buries his face in Steve’s fever-warm neck, grinding his hips down against him and muffling a groan into his scorching skin.

One of his hands comes up, creeping underneath Steve’s shirt, palm wandering across his chest, feeling the slight sheen of sweat through the coarse hair there. Eddie trails searing kisses down the length of his neck, panting against the hot skin, their breath mingling. Eddie bites his clavicle as gently as he can stand.

“Fuck, you’re so hot like this, baby.” He thrusts his hips down again and Steve sucks in a breath through his open mouth, still unable to breathe through his nose. “No pun intended.”

Steve huffs a weak laugh and brings his hand up to cup the back of Eddie’s head, tightening his fingers in the dark curls. “God, you’re so corny,” he says as Eddie presses his face into the hot column of his throat again – his favorite place to be, licking a stripe up to the underside of his jaw.

“So pretty,” the rumble of Eddie’s voice is deep against his throat as he sucks a mark into that hidden spot that makes Steve go crazy. Steve’s eyes flutter shut as he arches his neck back at the sensation. Eddie moves again, his hips a slow grind, and Steve’s body bows underneath him of its own accord. Pain and pleasure vie for dominance, shorting out his brain in a rush of feeling.

Callused fingers cup his jaw and Eddie thumbs at his plush lower lip before diving in for a sweltering, open-mouthed kiss. Steve makes it several seconds before he has to pull back, unable to breathe through the congestion. Molten eyes gaze down at him, and he feels himself flushing even more, if that were possible. There’s sweat beading on his forehead, and Eddie sweeps his hand over it in a caress. Heat coils in his gut as Eddie uses that same hand to pull the waistbands of their pants down and grip them both, damp hand squeezing tight.

“So easy for me like this,” Eddie purrs as he strokes them both with languid ease. Steve thinks he might die. Looking up at the other man, he feels completely at his mercy. Trusts him to take care of him implicitly.

“Wanna be easy for you,” Steve scrapes out through the wave of fever and arousal fusing in his veins, as potent as any drug.

It’s like a punch to the gut and Eddie’s eyes clench shut as he jerks them both with purpose. Steve is so fucking pliant under him and it’s making him crazy; there’s no way he’s gonna last.

“Fuck, Steve-” Eddie’s sweating now too, his heart picking up in his chest. A keening sound tears out of Steve’s throat. He’s so fucking sensitive right now, Eddie thinks, enthralled. Anticipation buzzes under his skin - they’re both getting close.

Leaning down, he buries his face in Steve’s neck once more, oven-hot. Overtaken by a fit of possessiveness, he presses his teeth against the sweltering skin, reveling in the feeling for a heady moment before soothing it with his tongue.

“Come on, baby,” Eddie says, grazing kisses down Steve’s neck to his chest, “Want to make you feel good.”

“Please-” The myriad of sensations pulsing through Steve’s body build to a crest. All it takes is one more twist of Eddie’s hand around the both of them and he’s pushed over the edge, wave after wave of electric heat thrumming through him. He spills all over himself, come shooting up his belly and chest.

From above, Eddie watches him, mesmerized as he continues to stroke him through it. The sight of Steve covered in come proves to be too much for him. Pleasure crests and bursts through him, and he curls forward with a moan, his sweaty face framed by curtains of hair. His come arcs across Steve’s chest, their seed combining to make a proper mess of him. He looks thoroughly debauched. The contrast of their come against Steve’s flushed skin is one of the prettiest things he’s ever seen. Catching his breath, Eddie tries to commit it to memory.

“Fuck,” he pants, his brain still coming back online. “You’re fucking gorgeous.” Steve just smiles up at him and drags his fingers up and around the arm that Eddie has pressed into the sheets, bearing his weight. “Are you good?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Steve reassures him, the flush from both the orgasm and the fever indistinguishable. “I’m sticky, though.”

“Right, right.” Eddie blinks, coming out of his daze. He leans over to grab several tissues from the nearby box and cleans Steve up, Eddie’s body still nestled in between his legs. Once finished, he balls them up and tries to shoot them into the small trash bin they keep in their room, cursing when he misses by a mile. “Looks like I still need more lessons,” he says with a cheesy grin, the joke earning a tired chuckle from Steve. He loves making him laugh.

“Free lessons, anytime,” Steve promises, eyelids starting to droop.

“Hmm, maybe we sleep first, then lessons,” he says playfully. He pulls the sheets up and they get settled beneath them, scooting together until they’re wrapped up in each other. The heat of Steve’s skin is still evident where it presses against Eddie, arms sneaking under his shirt and forehead pressed to his clavicle.

“Sounds good,” Steve says through a yawn, wiped out enough to finally slip into what they both hope is a peaceful sleep. Tangled in the warm comfort of each other’s arms, they drift off together.

#snzfic #snzblr #snz kink #fever kink #trust the next fic I finish will hopefully be steve consenting to allergy stuff #the poor boy needs a break! #this is what happens when I have 4 days off... I finally complete 2 fics! #I looked up when I started this fic and it was 2 months ago! #snz fic #snzfics #snz fics

[journeyintofiction]

hey can u do another shuri x reader where the reader has an ed and shuri doesn't notice it at first because of being in the lab so much but finally does when it gets really bad. its okay if you're not okay with writing about this topic I've just been struggling with mine rn.

TRIGGER WARNING: this fic will discuss an eating disorder, not in depth but still can be very hard to read, so if this is triggering please, please, please do not read! Your mental health comes first so feel free to pass on this one :) I am writing this purely from my own experiences and everyone's experience is different and valid. 

To the anon: I am so sorry you have been struggling recently :( just know that you, your thoughts, and your feelings are 100% valid!

Word count: 0.8k

Happy reading :)

It's been 13 days.

Shuri has been in the lab consistently for 19 hours a day for 13 days in a row. I know realistically this is her way of coping with grief and coming to terms with her brothers and mothers death. But I can’t help but feel forgotten and cast aside during her mourning period.

“Will you be joining us for breakfast Ms.Y/N?”

I turn to the door of my room and see Aneka and Ayo looking in my direction with curiosity and thinly veiled concern.

I shake my head and give them a brittle smile, “No not this morning, I went on a walk earlier and got some fruits afterward.”

They look at me for a second then nod and say, “As you wish.”

I knew they were concerned, to be honest, everyone was worried about me and it was obvious in the way they looked at me. I knew that I was restricting myself again even though I consciously knew I shouldn't. Shuri was a big help in getting me to recover from my eating disorder, she made sure I ate, got the right balance in food, and always fostered a positive environment around food. Since she was in the lab 24/7 now, I started to relapse and go back to my way of thinking. Between the stress of everything I just started to eat less and less partly because I didn’t think I deserved to eat without her.

I sigh and get up to tidy my room a bit before I decide to try and go to the lab, which she locked me out of earlier in the week. I think that's what triggered me into a downward spiral, the denial of my presence hurt deeply. It may not have been done with malice, but it was excruciatingly painful nonetheless. As I fold up some clothes I look at myself in the mirror and I’m genuinely taken aback by the person staring back at me. I didn’t realize that not eating consistently and in good quantities would take effect so fast but it was scary. My face looked thinner, I looked paler than usual, and I had dark circles under my eyes that seemed pronounced.

I move from the mirror on the verge of tears because I can’t stand to see myself so I quickly finish tidying up and move to the door and open it. I see two Doras stationed outside my door who look at me with concern and I just muster up my best smile and say hello before moving down the hallway.

I reach the lab doors and attempt to open them to no avail and with a huff, I call out, “Griot?”

“Yes Ms.Y/N?”

“Can you tell Shuri I would like to see her as it is urgent?”

I wait expecting a reply from Griot, but to my surprise, Shuri herself opens the doors to the lab. She waves me in and I take a moment to examine her, she looks sad and tired but otherwise healthy. When I get into her area of the lab and sit down she turns to fully look at me and she frowns deeply. I see Okoye and Nakia are one room over and the only thing separating us is the soundproof glass. They smile and nod to me before turning their backs to give us privacy, at least the glass was soundproof so they wouldn’t hear the extent of our conversation.

I look back at Shuri and she looks upset but before I can speak she says, “Have I done this to you?”

I take note of the pained expression she wears and the sadness in her voice as if it physically pains her to see my slowly relapsing. I bite my lip and say, “I’m not going to lie, you are partly the reason but the majority of the fault lies with me.”

She looks pained and just nods then asks, “do you…eat enough?”

I know this is her way of asking if I eat three times a day and snack in between while also trying to not trigger me. I decide to be honest and shake my head and hear her sharply inhale before gently taking my hands in hers.

She pulls me into a hug, “I’m sorry my love.”

I shake my head, “Don’t be sorry, you were grieving and you still are.”

She stops me and looks dumbfounded for a moment, “That doesn’t mean I have an excuse to stop caring for those I love.”

I just nod, “Please, just don’t shut me out of the beautiful head of your Shuri.”

She takes a deep breath and looks into my eyes, “ We will get better together, right?”

I smile and nod, “Yes, together.”

A/N: Hello wonderful people! If you made it to the end, thank you as I know this is an exceptionally heavy topic to discuss and write about. Again this was written from my own personal experience and I wasn’t super explicit because I don’t want to trigger anyone! As always my requests are open :) 

#shuri x y/n #shuri x reader #shuri fanfiction #shuri udaku

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What did everyone and Carlisle think of Hong's speech when Ed first came back? Everything Hong said has come tru, vampire memories are eternal, do any think what he said about Ed is true?

“I don’t want to believe that he’d return and meet with this girl only for the sake of his pride,” Carlisle said, “At least, I believe him when he says he’s concerned she may have noticed, that he’s trying to protect us in the only way he knows how, and that he’s so concerned by his need to make up for this mistake that he’s not thinking clearly.”

“I am saying, Hong,” Carlisle said, “That neither you nor Edward are wrong, neither of you is lying, and to run with the Jedi theme a little longer both of you are telling the truth from a certain point of view.”

Hong said it was from pride and obsession. Ed gave no other reason than Bella suspecting which would be why you should leave, not stay but Carlisle ignores it????

Can Hong analyze Carlisle once to his face? Would be so funny. And watch Carlisle denying being in denial.

The Seventh Seal

Let's Take a Few Steps Back

Do the Cullens know that?

Remember that, as a reader, you have multiple cheat sheets the Cullens don't have:

Narration from the point of view of Hong Bellamy who can read other's thoughts, futures, and alternate timelines

Knowledge of canon

Knowledge of this heretical blog

The Cullens have exactly none of those things.

It's easy for us readers/writers to ask "Well, why don't they realize X, what are they, stupid?" because we have a lot of information they just don't have as well as biases they don't have.

The Cullens have lived with Edward for a hundred years, most of that time he's been a model citizen, why should they take Hong's word for anything?

Shit Hong Says and Does

It's also important to remember what Hong looks like from the outside. The story's very skewed in terms of perspective as Hong is our narrator.

Naturally, Hong thinks everything Hong does is perfectly reasonable. Why of course he had to melt Laurent and James into a puddle, why do you ask? Ugh, you Cullens are so annoying, peace.

So, briefly, from the outside, here is some of the batshit things Hong Bellamy has said:

I intend to lie about my origins to your face

I am not lying about my origins to your face because I knew you wouldn't believe it

My father was a vampire (vampires are known to be sterile)

I ate my way out of my mother's womb then feasted on her corpse

I learned English inside my mother's womb which is how I wasn't a feral monstrosity at birth

My gift is the Force

I am not in any way romantically or platonically interested in Bella Swan, however her safety is my number one priority and I will bring her up at every moment I can

I put all this blood in the basement to prove vampires have souls: I will not explain this

That blood I put in your basement did not come from a human. It smells like Bella Swan for reasons. I will not explain these reasons.

Carlisle, I actually was making a baby in that vat in the basement. It was for science. Do you think Rosalie would want it? Isn't that her entire point for existing?

Edward is an obsessive narcissist and predator who returned to Forks to murder the tasty girl in Biology

I could make human blood from nothing this whole time but chose not to drink it because... reasons. Free blood, anyone?

Carlisle gives Hong a lot of credence, far more than he should, but takes everything Hong says in the vein of "I have had an extremely warped upbringing/utter lack of society"

Carlisle views Hong Bellamy as having been raised by wolves.

Back to What Hong Said About Edward

There's still no proof and to the Cullens it doesn't seem as if anything has come true.

Edward came back, yes, and he had very poor excuses for why he came back. However, Bella Swan's still alive and the Cullen's haven't witnessed Edward obsessing over her like Hong claims.

Hong's statements look extremely unfounded and slanderous.

What Does Carlisle Think of the Speech?

Carlisle thinks Hong's cynical and has a warped perspective informed in part by his gift.

He thinks Edward's primary motivation was pride and insecurity, but that Edward genuinely believed that he was returning to protect his family and their way of life. It's a matter of Edward being young, emotionally vulnerable, and wanting to do the right thing while having the wrong priorities.

That's the "neither of you is really wrong, here" statement he gets at.

He's not touching that "obsession" bit with a ten foot pole if only because it sounds utterly insane and Hong has presented 0 evidence to support it.

Can Hong Psychoanalyze Carlisle?

I mean, they are on a road trip together, so it's probably coming.

#twilight #twilight renaissance #the seventh seal #carlisle cullen #the cullens #hong bellamy #meta