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imnotcreativeenoughtomakegoodurl · 4 years

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Dean X cop! Reader: Soulmate AU - Part 1

Genre: Dean X Reader, fluff (??), soulmate AU, slight angst/whump (if you squint)

Warnings: Description of injury/blood (let me know if I missed any) Summary:

Summary: This is based on the soulmate AU where any unnatural markings or blemishes (cuts, bruises, stains, marker, ect…) on your body will show up on your soulmate’s body. You got the short straw with whoever your soulmate was-This crazy bastard was always getting the holy hell beat out of him. Waking up in the dead of night feeling like a truck had just run you over went from terrifying to extremely annoying as time went on, but you always did your best to stay safe after one of those nights. However, being a homicide detective, “safe” wasn’t a word you got to use often.

“Back again?” The doctor asked, flipping through the clipboard Janice had left on the door.

“Don’t worry Dan, Janice has already patched me up and just wanted you to check me over before discharge in case this is anything like last time.” You explained, casually rolling up your shirt to show Dan your several bruised ribs and what once was a deep gash in your side.

You were in and out of the hospital so often that you were on a first-name basis with the majority of the staff and even friends with several. It was almost routine for you to walk- or even be carried in at least once a week with an assortment of bruises, open wounds and the occasional broken bone. They often joked that once you met your soulmate they would thank him or her for giving them such a dedicated customer, that is if your soulmate didn’t get themselves or you killed anytime soon. There have been several times when your soulmate must’ve made the choice to fight a bear or something because more than once, you’ve come in half dead.

"Looks all good to me, (Y/N)," Dan said and you rolled your shirt back down.

He signed your discharge form while you gingerly slipped on your coat and detective badge. Dan indiscreetly watched the detective badge glinting on your belt disapprovingly as he walked you to the front desk.

"Hey, you gave me the all-clear, doc. Besides, if I don’t leave now, I’ll be late.” You said as you slid the paper across to the desk for Oliver to look over.

“Are you sure you’re ready to go back to work? Right now, today? I mean, I discharged you but that doesn’t mean you should pass up some bed rest.” Dan advises.

“I really don’t think there’s a point, Doctor.” Oliver sighs, handing you back some papers.

“I’m sorry but, Oliver’s right, Dan.” You feign an over apologetic tone, slipping the papers into your bag while walking backwards “There’s been more of those creepy homicides and the PD needs all hands on deck. There’s nothing I can do.”

“Oh, that’s bull and we all know it.” Oliver calls out, making Dan snort.

“Hey, whose side are you on, Oliver?” You demand. But halfway out the door you turn back and joke “Don’t worry though, I’ll be careful. My soulmate really doesn’t need another injury!”

When you make it to the precinct no one needs to ask why you’re late. Your soulmate problems are a well-known routine here as well. You slide into your desk but before you can even begin to crack the surface of the mountain of files before you, your secondary rushes over, brimming with enthusiasm.

“So primary, what’s the plan for today? Check-in at the crime scene? Take a look at those corpses firsthand? Interview suspects? Well, I suppose we should properly look over the security footage we just got-“

You have to grab Natasha's arm to get her to stop bouncing around. “Let’s tackle one question at a time. I know this is your first homicide case as a detective and it’s starting to get pretty damn interesting, but we need to keep our heads clear.”

You look Natasha in the eye and half expect to see her pupils vibrating out of excitement. When they don’t and she just nods so hard that her blonde ponytail almost flops over her head, you sit her down and continue; “So, what do we know about the killer, Palmer?”

You’ve barely finished your question before Natasha starts chattering away “Again, you can just call me Tasha, I’m not big on formalities. It’s so weird y’know-“

“Tasha?”

“Right, the killer. They first struck a week ago and killed Patricia Davids and Brian Lee We know their MO is to kill a man and a woman within twenty-four hours by stabbing the victim’s brain through the eye sockets. The man and woman are usually involved romantically in some way, so we’re thinking that the motivation is love and the killer is someone with a vendetta against romance. Have you found out anything else on this lead?”

And once again, before you can respond Natasha gets sidetracked "This works so well! This whole call and response thing where we bounce clues around is never something I got to do as a cop! I-“

“Well I’m glad you enjoy this tactic, Tasha, but it’d kind of dead in the water if only you get to respond.” You explain, feeling slightly guilty when she sagged a little at getting shut down for the second time.

You leaned in conspiratorially and as expected, Tasha’s excitement came flooding back as she leaned in to listen like a schoolgirl being let in on a secret “I went and checked out each victim's itineraries leading up to the homicides and got a connection: The last time each couple was seen together was at Vicci’s Diner. I was thinkin-“

“What’s so special about Vicci’s Diner?” An unfamiliar voice asked from behind you.

Slightly ticked at the fact that more reporters wanted info on the murders, you put on your best passive-aggressive smile and turned.

Two men you guessed to be in their early to mid-thirties, wearing layered overclothes and muted colours looked down at you. The taller one had a longer hair and slouched a little, almost like he didn’t want to intimidate anyone with his height. The shorter one had green eyes that were fixed on Natasha and you could’ve sensed from miles away that he was about to hit on her.

“I’m Sam, this is Dean.” The taller one introduces “We’d like to ask some questions about the Davids and Lee case.”

“I’m sorry, but as I’ve told the several other reporters; we’ve already had all the information we’re allowed to disclose published so you can go and check that source.” You said through a gritted smile before turning your back on them.

“Well, can’t you tell us again? We want to hear it straight from the source.” Dean says a little too automatically, giving away that they had coaxed info out of people one too many times.

“What was the crime scene like?” Sam asks, hot on Dean’s tail “Did it maybe smell odd? Did things not add up? Any weird patterns?”

Tasha opens her mouth eagerly to answer but you didn't trust Sam's bizarre questioning and their rundown attire showed that they weren’t reporting for anything too serious.

“Well it’s a murder scene so things did smell a bit fishy and if things added up we would’ve found the killer- I’m sorry but I didn’t catch what news publishers you were reporting for.” You pointed out, watching the men’s eyes meet and Dean crosses his arms across his chest to seem more authoritarian as he prepares to deliver what you know is going to be a lie.

“Who’s the primary?” Sam asks, now addressing the two of you and dodging the question.

“Oh, it's not me.” Tasha answers placing her hands proudly on your shoulders from behind “It’s detective (Y/N) (L/N).”

Dean looks almost surprised, as most people do when they find out that someone like you is a high-ranking detective. For some reason, it ticked you off more when Dean didn’t think that you were one to solve double homicides than it did anyone else.

Great now the lack of sleep from bleeding all night was making you seek approval from a total stranger.

“Damn okay, I was expecting your pretty lookn’ partner to bee the primary but I can see how you could’ve fought your way to the top.” Dean smoothly dishes out a compliment with a smirk and once again you can tell that this is something he did often.

Sam elbows Dean and resumes the one-sided questioning “Could you tell us something about Vicci’s Diner maybe? Has anything like this ever happened before in this city?” You sigh and stand up from your desk.

Placing a hand on each of their backs you turn the boys around and guide them to the exit “Vicci’s Diner is a really nice place downtown that had some great soup and occasionally carters to the homeless. Personally, I would recommend their grilled cheese and I would also like to work on the case so I actually have some new information to give you ‘reporters’.”

You gently nudge them out the precinct doors and scribble your address and number onto a scrap piece of paper “Now I don’t know who you guy actually work for but if you really are that desperate for a firsthand account swing by at night and you guys can help me finish my pie while we talk.”

The door closes in the Winchester’s face and you hurry back to your desk, massaging your temples.

Did I really just give two complete strangers my address? God, what is wrong with me today?

Outside the precinct, Dean memorizes (Y/N)’s address before pocketing it. “Quit pacing Sammy, we got an address, it’s fine.”

“Yeah, we know where there’s a connection, but the detective didn’t give us any clues on whether or not it’s supernatural.” Sam opens the Impala doors and awkwardly clambers in. “Maybe we would’ve if you didn’t scare (Y/N) off with your questions. You might as well have been screaming “hey do you think a ghost killed those lovebirds?’”

Dean starts the engine and the loud banging of a drum solo fills the car. Sam can barely hear Dean when he waves the address in his face and says triumphantly “And I wasn’t talking about the diner’s address; I just got the address of a cute cop who just invited me over for pie because I gave one compliment. What do you think I could get if I bought them a couple of drinks?"

"A restraining order," Sam mutters as the car takes off.

The break room in your precinct had been transformed in the last few hours into a mess of loose papers and gruesome pictures connected by thread beautiful mind style. The cuff of your shirt was indefinitely stained with dry erase marker from the frustrated wiping blank of the whiteboard every time a lead didn’t pan out.

You took a swig of room temperature coffee as you reread the ME’s report but the words seemed to have lost all meaning in the 2AM stupor you were currently swimming in. You absent-mindedly run your hands over the puckered line on your skin where your soulmate’s gash had been patched up in your stress and sigh deeply.

“What are you still doing here?” One of the night shift detectives asked, poking their head through the crack in the breakroom door “Go home, you look like a mess- and so does your workspace.”

“Thanks, Nosellla.” You snap, picking your way across the cluttered room to shut the door and other distractions out.

Nosella wasn’t wrong though; you had bitten your nailbeds into raw oblivion and had to band-aid a few fingers. Your hair stuck up at the front and became an impenetrable net at the back from all the times you had run fingers through it and you didn’t even need a mirror to know that you had some killer bags under your bloodshot eyes.

Between your soulmate’s antics and this impossible case, you would be lucky to have gotten twelve hours of sleep in the last week. Maybe it was the stress or sleep deprivation or just delusions in general but you rolled up your sleeve and stood by the sink with a washable marker.

When you were a kid, you and your soulmate would hold little conversations by writing messages on your arm for the other to see and washing it off to leave room for a response.

You wouldn’t be surprised if you were called in to do a psych eval tomorrow for leaning over a running sink with a red marked poised against your forearm. The mess around you must not help your case either but what the hell-you were desperate. The paranoia sent you down a spiral of wondering if your soulmate- one of the only sure things in your life right now- was out there and alive. He had stopped responding when the beatings started getting really bad and you hadn’t “talked” in decades.

“Hey guess who?” you scribbled and instantly dunked your arm under the water like one would toss away a phone after sending a risqué text.

“I was starting to think that you’d disappeared until it felt like someone was trying to rip off my fingernails today. Are you okay?”

Your heart soared and you let out a breath you’ve been holding since the marker first touched your skin.

You washed off his black ink and wrote in place: “I’m fine, just stressed. Since I have you “talking” I have a question for you actually.”

"Shoot," He wrote

“I know you wouldn’t tell me when we were kids because you said it was dangerous but we’ve both gotta be adults now, right? I mean you wouldn’t even want to get close to me as we grew up because apparently any connection at all could be dangerous. I kinda want to know who on earth my soulmate is yknow. All I know is that you’re an adult male who has a habit of getting the shit beat out of them. I want to meet you one day, hopefully soon?”

It takes him much longer to respond this time and the letters appear haltingly, without the usual ‘no looking back’ penmanship that you were used to. “Listen meeting my soulmate sounds great but look at the hell I’m putting you through without even meeting you. I could never put you through what I have to do every day and people who I talk to have a habit of getting hurt.”

Your heart clenches for him but you must resist the urge to roll your eyes. “I already go through everything you go through if that hasn’t toughened me up then my job certainly has. If what you go through is hell than what kind of soulmate am I to just stand here and live in blissful ignorance?”

You can feel that he’s pressing the pen harder into his skin as he rushes to finish his statement in his annoyance “It’s complicated, what do you think this is a fairy tale? You can’t just rush into my life like a knight in shining armour and expect to come out in one piece.”

Your phone pings and you check it one-handed as you run your other arm under the tap. The stakeout crew that you had stationed by Vicci’s with Tasha had just texted you about a suspicious car that had parked across the street behind the diner but stayed stationary with the engine idling and no one entering or exiting.

“Haha, yes!!” You exclaim out loud at the news of a concrete lead and possible suspects.

You quickly text the team to take photo evidence but not to engage until you got there and end the unfulfilling conversation with your still nameless soulmate: “I’m still here aren’t I? Trust me when I say I do have field experience with getting near-fatal injuries. Speaking of my job, duty calls but please consider trusting me. We are soulmates and I’d hate for you to actually die one day without me even knowing your name.”

“Who said anything about me dying?”

“Call it gut instinct.”

Under a shadowed overpass you tap on the window of the stakeout car and it whirs down to reveal Tasha’s always grinning face. “You took long enough, (Y/N).” She whispers.

“Sorry.” You apologize glancing around for eavesdroppers before continuing: “ So what’s the deal?”

“Well, they know what they’re doing.” Tasha says with an edge to her whispers “They parked somewhere dark so we couldn’t really get their profiles or see what kind of guns they pulled out of their trunk. But it looked like this wasn’t their first time going into a dinner heavily armed.”

“Good to know.” You say, eyeing the suddenly sinister diner “Tasha vest on and with me. We’ll go in and split up and you two be ready to call for backup on my call.” You order the team in the car.

You slip on the familiar weight of your Kevlar vest and draw your firearm. Tasha grins at you and gives you a manicured thumbs up and you smile tensely and nod.

This could be the day you make the biggest break of your career, but despite this, you think back to your soulmate. You think of the hell he refuses to put you through, wherever he is right now, while you’re hunting down a pair of potential serial killers, and you change your mind. This could be the day you prove to your soulmate that you have the balls to walk through hell with him.

It’s now or never; You quietly push aside the yellow tape barring off the retro diner door and step into the dark reception area. You almost gasp when your eyes adjust to the dark and see an enormous silhouette no more than a few feet from the nearest booth. You barely have time to load your gun when:

“SAM DOWN!”

A click, a flash and a bang and you’re blown off your feet as the shot hits you square in the chest.

#supernatural #fanfiction #spn #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfiction #snp fanfic #supernatrual fanfic #x reader fanfic #dean x reader #dean x reader soulmate AU #soulmate AU #dean x cop! reader #angst #fluff #whump #dean x reader fluff #supernatrual series #dean x gender neutral reader

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anotherweirdhunterfromspn · 6 years

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' Don't run away from Heaven '

Characteres: Lucifer/Michael x Reader

A/N: this is a mini-oneshot series, the prt.2 will be the 'Michael Ending' and the prt.3 is for Lucifer ❤

(My SNPMasterlist)

----

You're an archangel, Gabriel's twin sister for be exact. You love your brothers, especially your older brothers Michael and Lucifer, and they loves you. You are they little's angel, they 'sunshine'.

Your twin Gabriel was the sweet thoot young boy of the family, your personal warrior and favorite trickster. But you, you were the most shyness angel on heaven, you aren't a warrior you are most like a guardian angel. Why? You didn't know why, maybe Father wanted you to be who take cares about of his sons when they get in problem. You never botter yourself to ask to Chuck about it, because well is not a bad thing being who you are and you were so happy about it.

Often, the heaven has a tense environment. Many angels were talking about Lucifer's rebellion and rumors about a fight between your brothers started to scares you.

Your twin can feel your fears and worries, he was also scared too and secretly he was planning to run away of heaven before the war start.

'Please (y/n) we need to go right now!' Gabriel said, trying to sound calm to not make you feel more scared. He always hate when something made your beautiful smile go away.

Your eyes were tearly and he couldn't resist to hugged you, saying 'stay here only going to make us get killed, and I dont want to lose you. Neither watching out brothers fighting.' You nodded a bit, Gabriel was going to teletransport both out of heaven but you stopped him.

' Please Gabe, I want to say Goodbye first.'

Gabriel thinks that was, probably, a bad idea but he can understand you a bit, he wants to saw his brothers for a last time too.

'Go a head cupcake.' He winked at you, you smiled and disappear.

' Be safe Sis, I'll waiting you.'

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wikiangela · 3 years

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someone tell me WHY

ever since that 15x18 episode

every destiel fic I read that's not a 15x18 fix-it makes me just feel so empty and unsatisfied ugh

I think 15x18 broke me

#supernatural #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #destiel fanfic #supernatural 15x18 #spn 15x18 #15x18 broke me #that episode #it broke me #I can't read anything else #but fix it fics #it's annoying #but also #snp fandom is the greatest #and I have so many fics to read #love you guys #destiel shippers

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oddlylongtelephonecord · 3 years

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It’s nice to see that fanfiction is trending every couple of days. There’s never a reason. It never really makes sense. It just shows how deep we’re in at this point. I’ve also made the executive decision to pretend it’s not really about supernatural.

#fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #I mean we’re really just like that #snp #supernatural #supernatural fandom #it’s inescapable #like it’s just never ending at this point

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daisydaisybilly · 4 years

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Dating Cas would include

MAIN MASTERLIST | REQUEST OPEN

a/n- with mishapocalypse coming back today here’s a little something

• Would take a liking to you right away

• Would always go to you when he didn't understand something

• Dean and Sam being jealous over how fast you two bonded while it took months to warm up to them

• Getting him drunk for the first time and spending the whole time laughing

• Him being the first one to kiss, taking you completely by surprise

• Even though he doesn’t sleep he always cuddles you until you fall asleep and is always there when you wake up

• Saying I love you all the time, making you smile like a idiot every time

• Not knowing what PDA is, and kissing you no matter where you are

• Loves playing with your hair, you wake up sometime with it in braids

• And in bed, he calls out your name and speaks enochian

• Learning little says in enochian so you can have inside jokes

• Him making you feel so special and loved

#supernatural #supernatural fic #supernatural imagine #cas #team free will #snp imagine #snp fic #fanfic #mishapocalypse #reader x castiel #castiel #yn x cas #yn x castiel

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redheadshenanigans · 6 years

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Raised: A Castiel story

Castiel is fighting to get to Dean Winchester, he has been ordered by God. Nothing will stop him but Hell is vast and desolate and he is running out of time. Then a voice calls to him, someone who knows the way, someone who knows Dean very well...

Can Castiel save Dean? Will he want to be saved?

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: blood/violence

Cast: Dean, Cas, John. W

The angels had been fighting for days, the demons kept coming, it was relentless. Castiel was leading the charge, injured and exhausted. The surprise attack should have neutralized this, however, they had underestimated the protection the target had. Dean Winchester was a prize and Hell was unwilling to relinquish him. Failure was not an option and Cas kept pushing his people. It was a sustained barrage of blood and pain but they were close now, so close and they had to keep going. Their numbers had halved since they had entered Hell and if they didn’t get Dean soon Castiel knew they would have to withdraw.

Again, this was not an option. Castiel wasn’t the most impressive of angels, not the biggest or strongest but he was a loyal soldier and when tasked with something important he was focused, determined. He had been tasked with raising Dean Winchester’s soul from Hell and he would succeed.

The next day Urial got word of an opening in the rear flank, that was his cue. Castiel broke from his brethren and hurtled through it. The demon Alastair had Dean in the cells so Cas made his way there at light speed. Once he was past the main defences he slowed down and looked harder.

Travelling through the filth and fire he wished for a vessel, something to keep all the muck from his light but the thought was fleeting, he knew this was the only way. A vessel would only slow him down. Spiralling through the torture chambers looking for one soul was like finding a needle in a needle stack and Cas was running out of time.

Enough passed to make the angel nervous, he was alone in the bowels of the most hostile place ever created with no kin at his back. Turning the last corner in this series of dungeons, if they could be called that, Cas heard someone calling. It was faint at first, but a soul was calling his name, he almost ignored the plea, almost. It was such a strange thing that he allowed himself to be distracted but he eventually followed it to a small dark cell.

The room was like most things in hell, flexible depending on the mind it housed and this mind was human. Cas toned down his light but knew the soul wouldn’t be harmed by him no matter how bright. The human was ragged and broken. Castiel wanted the man to remain calm and allowed the human's mind to take his light and shape it into a form that he could understand. The mirage that he became was stocky, yet slim with dark hair. Castiel admired the human’s choice for a moment, it was interesting. The long coat he wore swung as he moved. The projection was detailed which was surprising considering the state of the soul.

“Who are you?” The human shuffled back, terrified.

Castiel paused letting the man adjust and reached out with his light to take the edge from his suffering. This soul wasn’t supposed to be here, he knew that and it hurt him.

“You called me, human.” Castiel said gently, “You knew my name.” "I didn't..." The human stopped, taking a long look at the angel.

“You’re that guy, the one at the diner in Jefferson City.” He paused, rising from the wall. “We drank coffee and talked about our kids…Claire, I think you said?”

Castiel moved closer to the man, “What is your name?”

“John, John Winchester.”

Castiel took a step back.

“You are Dean Winchester’s father?”

“Yes, how did you…” John baulked, “You're not that Sales guy from the radio are you?”

Cas looked at the image he was holding, “No, this is an image from your mind. I assume you liked this man or found him...non-threatening?”

John took a second and nodded, “He was a little too focused on Jesus for me but you talk to whoever you can on the road. He’d been for some conference or something…”

“It is irrelevant. My name is Castiel, I am an Angel of the Lord and I am here to remove your son Dean from this place.”

“Dean’s here?” John cursed, sorrow filling his voice. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“John, I am running out of time.”

Winchester senior looked at the angel.

“Alistar has him doesn’t he?” Pain tore at his features.

“Do you know where he would take him?”

As the thought came Cas knew, he could see the place as John did, he could see it written all over the soul before him.

“I must go.” With that, he turned to leave but John grabbed his shoulder.

“Please, please find my son and if you get him back home…take care of him…and Sammy”

All the angels knew of Samuel Winchester and he couldn’t promise the father too much. The future of the Winchester men was going to be long and hard, however, he could promise one thing.

“I will watch over Dean on earth and do my best for them both.”

“Thank you, Castiel was it?”

He nodded.

“You remind me of him.” John added, and Cas looked confused, “Novack, that was his name…the guy you’re wearing. Good guy.”

“I am sorry, you do not deserve to be here but…”

“I made my bed, angel. Go get my boy.”

On that note Castiel fled, moving like the wind through the fiery tunnels towards the rack room. Castiel shuddered, he hated torture and dread filled him at what he may find on his quest.

Spaces were strange here, nothing moved like it did in reality. The rack room was endless and finite, it made no sense but nothing here really did.

On entering Castiel was taken back, Dean Winchester was pushing steel, no they were bone pins into a soul. It was a ragged, broken mess strapped to a table. Castiel recoiled as Dean stabbed the soul with stripped parts of itself and worse he looked exalted with every thrust. This was the soul he’d been sent to save? This broken, hateful damaged thing? Unsure he called its name and the human turned. Castiel pulled on the previous image he’d taken, the father had liked it so maybe the son would as well?

“Who? What are you?” Dean growled out.

“I am Castiel an Angel of the Lord and I am here to return you to earth.”

The soul did something completely unexpected and turned back to its task. Most wanted to be saved but this one, this one felt he deserved to be here; radiated it.

It was irrelevant of course, what the soul chose because Dean Winchester must be raised, God had commanded it.

“Dean, you must come now or I will have to force you and that will be…painful.” Cas knew it was an understatement, it would feel like being torn in two. Dean had to want to be saved and Castiel didn’t have time to pander to him, but maybe he could convince him?

“Your father seems to think you deserved to be redeemed.”

“Don’t you talk about him,” Dean growled and the noise was an irritation to Castiel, almost painful.

“I spoke to him only moments ago and he asked me to raise you, certain that you shouldn’t be here. His soul felt of nothing but love and reverence for his son’s, for you…he wished for you to return to Samuel.”

“Sammy…” Dean blinked back tears, "...he doesn't like Samuel." Castiel dared to hope. Dean was showing an emotion other than self-loathing.

Castiel acted swiftly and touched the damaged man, shudders and nausea rolled through him and he questioned the wisdom of putting something this broken back on earth; it wouldn’t last long in its current condition. It could become a Demon, or worse and that wasn't acceptable.

Tears slid down the soul’s face and it crashed to its knees. The pure touch of Castiel’s light shredded away the awful cloud of pain and hate for just a moment but it was enough for the angel to get a grip on him.

Soul’s appeared as light and shadow to Cas, like a human shape but with no details. This soul projected it’s human vessel so clearly that Castiel had to squint to see through the mirage. The soul was more dark than light but the shadows looked recent, corrupted here in hell, not on earth. Cas was now positive he had the right soul, but the seal had surely been broken. Regardless, God had willed it raised and he would do as commanded.

The angel knew it couldn’t return this Winchester to earth in this condition.

“Dean, I need to undo some of what has been done.”

The man looked up with large eyes as tears fell into the murky ground.

As Castiel considered whether it could even be done it hit him like a wall of knowledge and he knew in that instant it could. Amazed, he didn't know how as it was not an angels power but he just knew that now he had the ability that he needed. “I have to repair some of your soul, we don’t have much time and so… it will hurt.” As he warned Dean he knew that

Dean nodded, and the angel moved, grasping the left shoulder with his hand. Dean screamed as Cas’s light invaded him searing an imprint into the man’s atoms. Castiel screamed as he tore parts of himself away to fix the broken soul. The angel poured through the dark spaces and filled them out with light. No-one could know what Castiel was doing, if Dean ever fulfilled his role as Michael’s sword... the human would have more power than he should and Michael may realise. Castiel felt the shudder through his whole being, he could be cast out or worse. The light would fade but from here onwards, Dean Winchester would be part of him and Castiel would feel Dean throughout his human life. They were bound. It was a sacrifice he was willing to make. Little did he know how much of the human soul he was exposing himself too and as he bound Dean back together he bound himself to this fragile soul forever.

Once he was done, Cas raised Dean from that unholy place and forced him back into his vessel. The scars from the cleansing left a physical mark on the man's arm, a symbol that echoed its eternal counterpart on Dean's soul. Even if the mark was removed from his skin, the tissue would remember, the soul would still be marked.

The body required healing and he added some walls to the humans’ psyche, protecting him from his memories and the emotions until he could manage them. Dean wouldn’t remember him. The trauma from the rising would be too much but he would always seek him now, be drawn to him. It would fade as long as Cas kept his distance and he would, he promised himself. However, he would also keep his promise to the older Winchester and watch over Dean, from now until time ended, Dean Winchester would have an angel watching over him.

Fin-

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15187526

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aj-artist · 6 years

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Take Me to Church

Pairing: Dean X Castiel

Word count: 3,728

Warnings: none.

Summary: Dean blinks stupidly for a moment, “You go to church?” Castiel puts down a book and sighs, “Yes, Dean. I go to church.”

______________________________________________________________

It’s a regular Sunday morning for Dean Winchester. He’s wearing his best pair of sweat pants and nothing else as he plods over to the TV room and crashes down into the couch for some early morning shows. He scratches at his chest and yawns as he points the remote towards the black screen, hardly noticing when another person walks by in the hallway, patting their pockets like they’re looking for something.

“Dean, have you seen my tie?” Castiel calls as he crouches down to look underneath the coffee table.

“Not if it’s not being worn by you or the bedroom floor,” Dean winks.

“I’m serious. I have to get going soon or else I’m gonna be late.”

“Late for what?” He pulls his attention away from the TV to see Castiel dressed up in a nice button-down shirt and black slacks. His usually unruly black hair is combed back and tamed nicely atop his head, but his sleeves are bunched up at his elbows as he moves things around the room, searching for his elusive tie to complete his ensemble. “You don’t have work today, do you?” Dean asks with a skeptical tone to his voice, he’s pretty sure Cas has never worked on Sundays before – but this is the first Sunday since Cas moved in, so he could be wrong.

“No. Not work. I have church.”

Dean blinks stupidly for a moment. “You go to church?”

Castiel puts down a book and sighs, “Yes, Dean. I go to church.”

“But, I mean….aren’t you…” Dean fumbles with his words as Castiel looks at him with an eyebrow raised in warning. “I just didn’t think you would want to go to church because you’re gay.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and turns back to his searching, speaking over his shoulder as he says, “My sexuality does not define me or negate my beliefs. There’s no rule against me attending mass for a religion I am a part of.”

“Huh,” is Dean’s only reply as he ruffles his brow and thinks on the subject. In his experience, anyone even remotely deviating from the social norms was an avid atheist or non-believer all together. He’s so used to hearing shitty sermons on how gays are going to hell and anyone not part of this church or that religion is going to burn forever in whatever underworld while the chosen few laugh from their comfy seats in the heavens above. Dean doesn’t really like to get involved in conversations pertaining to religion, especially if he knows someone is going to get offended, which is always. But then again, he has nothing against those that do practice their faith, as long as they’re not trying to flaunt it in his face. It just takes Dean by surprise that Castiel, his boyfriend, is still an active churchgoer. What even religion is he? Protestant? Catholic? Buddhist? Why is this the first Dean is hearing about this?

Dean is pulled from his musing when Cas shoves his shoulder to the side, pushing him out of the way as he searches underneath the pillow cushions on the couch.

“So, you go every Sunday?”

“Uh-huh,” Cas answers offhandedly as he continues to dig.

“For how long?”

“All my life. Is this an interrogation or are you going to help me look?”

Dean presses his lips as he tries to think of a response. He doesn’t mean to upset Cas, he’s just curious is all. But he can understand the sense of urgency. Lifting his arm, he reaches behind his back to shove it between the cushion and the armrest, feeling blindly for anything silky and tie-like. He surprises himself when he pulls his hand back and the deep blue fabric trails behind in his palm.

“Oh, thank goodness!” Castiel takes the tie and throws it around his shoulder as he flips the collar of his dress shirt up. “We can talk more about it when I get back, Dean. But I really have to go now.” He adjusts the knot at his throat, leaving room as to not choke himself. He grimaces a little at the fine wrinkles on the fabric but smooths it out with a hand and rushes towards the door. But, as he places his hand on the knob, he stills in his hurry, turning around to look Dean in the eye, “Or. You could come with me, if you’d like. Get a see for yourself what it’s like at the church I attend.”

Dean considers the offer. The last time he’d been to church was for his parent’s funeral: that was definitely not a fond memory. But he recalls that his mother used to take him and Sam when they were really little – it was an occasional family outing they used to do, and even though Dean was too young to appreciate it, or to sit still, he kinda missed those trips, now that he thinks about it. Maybe he could give it another chance, especially if Cas is going to be there to show him around.

He stands from the couch, nodding his head as he steps forward, but then his bare feet hit the cold wooden floor and he remembers that he’s not exactly dressed for the occasion.

“Um. Do I have a few minutes to change?”

Castiel smiles vibrantly, his blue eyes lighting up when he hears of his boyfriend’s interest. “Of course. I’ll wait right here.”

Dean scurries off to the bedroom, rummaging through his closet as he tries to find something suitable for church, God help him.

~*~

The drive over to the church is short enough that the two men manage to make it in time to hear the bell tower chime to life, alerting all that the gathering is about to commence. Dean still couldn’t help but fidget with his black tie and run his hands nervously through his combed hair again.

“You look great. Now come on!” Cas drags him inside the small building. But it only looks small from the outside, Dean gapes as he looks at the intricate designs of blue and gold painted into the arched ceiling, a white marble wall lines the adjacent side of the building, marked with carved names of everyone that’s donated to the building’s construction, a blossoming patch of bouquets stand proudly in green and gold flower vases, releasing a lovely, welcoming scent as they enter – and that’s just the lobby! Cas lessens his pace as they pass the threshold of the double doors leading to the area where rows upon rows of wooden pews are filled to capacity with finely dressed people of all ages. The high ceilings are also painted with fantastic designs depicting angels, humans, and doves. Along the walls, there are small statuettes depicting the story of Jesus in his last few days, Dean recognizes it vaguely and counts the figures as he recalls the age-old story; it begins with the arrest of Jesus by the orders of Cesar, followed by him being tried, beaten, and imprisoned until he is given a cross and forced to walk the mile to the hill, struggling under the weight of the cross as he falls three times, being nailed to the splintering wood and being hung out for all to see as the crowd mocks and sneers. The last few statuettes show Mary and his apostle, Peter, taking him down and wrapping his body for burial, placing him in an underground tomb with kindness and care before he miraculously rises on the third day. It’s a beautiful story, Dean admits, but he’s not entirely sure he believes it all, which is why he continues to fidget nervously, bouncing his leg as he sits in one of the far pews, feeling like some kind of intruder.

The gigantic mural of Jesus on the cross, with his mother Mary and his apostle Peter at his feet provides the magnificent background for the raised floor holding the white alter at it’s center. A bell chimes and everyone rises, including Castiel, Dean notices and he rises to comply. As the procession of the priest and his alter servers makes its way down the long, carpeted aisle, the mass begins. Everyone is singing along with the church choir as they harmonize melodiously to the heavenly music. Dean feels lost as he tries to match his lips to the tune that he doesn’t know, trying not to give himself away as some kind of sinner. Cas smiles when he sees this, he picks up a red book and a pamphlet from the pocket along the backside of the pew in front of them, and passes them to Dean, pointing to one of the cork boards along the walls holding the page number to the song being sung. Dean graciously takes the book and flips through it quickly, finding the correct page in time to sing along with the final verse.

The melody dies down as the pianist steadies his fingers over the black and white keys, folding his hands in his lap as he turns towards the alter. The priest, dressed in green robes speaks a few lines with arms outstretched before he gives the signal for the assembly to be seated. Dean complies, slotting his back up against the hard wood of the pew and his leg still bouncing as he holds the book and pamphlet Cas gave him in his lap. Cas gives him a quick pat on the shoulder, giving his boyfriend a sincere smile for his cooperation before turning his attention back towards the front.

The rest of the mass goes by with relative ease; Dean tries to follow along with the dialogues written on the beige pamphlet, sings along with the choir as he flips through the red book, and rises and sits along with Cas’s cues. He listens as the deacon gives a speech about today’s mass – the significance of today in accordance with the stories read from the bible – and it’s relatively brief, but Dean still can’t help but feel like he’s going to fall asleep by the time the man bows towards the alter and walks back up the two-stepped stage. He’s shaken awake by the sound of wood squeaking as the herd of people shift from their seats to kneel down. Dean looks from left to right, trying to figure out where the padded beams that everyone suddenly has appeared from, but his question is shortly answered when Cas reaches down underneath the leading pew and unfolds the gray plank. Dean reaches to help, but he ends up knocking it out of Cas’s hand and it falls to the floor with a loud bang! Dean winces as a few heads turn, but not many people seem disturbed by the noise as they bow their heads in prayer. Cas smiles softly as he does the same. Dean kneels and clasps his clammy palms together, but he’s not sure if he should be praying. Is he allowed? Does he even know how? Is there a wrong way to do it? If there is, he feels like he’d be the one to find it, but he takes a breath and closes his eyes as he concentrates.

So….Hey, God. It’s me, Dean Winchester. Just uh…thought I’d send a line. Since I’m sitting in church and all. So….do you copy?

He peeks an eye open, looking for a sign or something, but he only sees the bowed heads of those around him, some moving their lips as they continue to pray. He lets out a frustrated sigh as he closes his eyes again.

That’s cool. You don’t talk. Which is good I guess, I’d probably be crazy if I actually heard you or something, right? But um…I’ll just do the talking then…

He takes a pause as he thinks to himself. What should he pray for? World peace? Nah, that sounds too cliché. Besides, the lady a few rows ahead of them, the one that’s been waving her arms and swaying enthusiastically to the music the entire time, most likely has that one covered. So, what else…?

He settles on praying for something nice for his brother Sammy – for both he and his girlfriend, Jess. God knows those two are gonna get married one of these days, so they could use some guidance on that, Dean supposes. That’s all he really gets to before everyone is standing again. Dean raises to his feet and ruffles his brow when Cas offers a hand to him. Looking around, everyone is holding hands as they speak the next prayer in one loud, booming voice. Understanding, Dean takes Cas’s hand and offers his other to the little old lady sitting to this left, reciprocating her smile when she wraps her long fingers round his. It’s a little weird and the prayer sounds somewhat cultish, but Dean allows himself to go with it. After they let go, the priest says another line, to which the assembly responds, and then everyone turns to one another, giving handshakes, big hugs, and kisses to their families and neighbors.

Dean turns and offers a hand to Cas, supposing he wouldn’t want his to kiss him here, but he’s happily surprised when Cas takes his hand and pulls him in for a brief hug. Dean pats his back and smiles, feeling a little bit more into the peace-offering sentiment as he turns to the little old lady again and shakes her hand. He shakes the hands of a few more people, and even raises two fingers in a peace sign as he waves at a gurgling baby in the pew in front of him, her flower headband falling into her dark, almond-shaped eyes. Dean chuckles to himself as he kneels back down, taking care in not letting the plank slam into the floor this time.

Dean turns to watch a family of four as they walk up the center aisle, passing off glass containers and other trinkets to the priest at the end. The elderly priest hands off the gifts to the young alter servers to his left and right, bowing to the family as he sends them back to their seats. He arranges the offerings on the table, saying a few words about The Last Supper. A chiming of little bells reverberates throughout the expansive church as the priest first holds up the shiny bowl holding unleavened slices of bread – representing the body – setting it down gently before repeating the same process for the goblet of wine – representing the blood.

Dean watches with a bit of skepticism still in his mind, but he’s not gonna add any commentary, that would be inappropriate. He only feels a spike of worry strike in his gut when he sees the people from the first rows lining up to receive the eucharist, bowing and making the sign of the cross as they accept the gifts with reverence; he’s not sure what he’s supposed to do! Does he go up? He’s baptized – he’s pretty sure his mom got him baptized, he remembers attending Sam’s baptism – but does that count? Isn’t there another step or something? God, it’s been so long, he has no idea!

Castiel picks up on his apparent panic and leans over to whisper in his ear, “You can sit in the pew while I go up. It’s probably best since you haven’t gone through first holy communion and aren’t confirmed.”

Dean lets out a breath and nods. That makes it much easier. Now his brain can stop going over all the scenarios in which things could go horribly wrong if he had walked up and accidently tripped, sending everyone toppling over like a train of dominoes. Actually, Dean laughs to himself, that would be kinda funny to see. He hides his grin in his hands as he leans further into the pew ahead of him, posing like he’s deep in prayer as he continues to think about how funny it’d be if someone chugged the entire cup of wine and staggered away after handing back the empty goblet.

Castiel nudges him to move off of the kneeling bar as he folds it back up and rises to his feet. Dean slides to the side, pulling his legs in as much as he can as Castiel and the following procession steps over him as they make their way to the center aisle. Dean’s eyes follow Cas as he strolls forward one step at a time, hands folded together and face solemn yet at ease. The small smile at the corners of Cas’s lips would be overlooked by anyone else, but not by Dean: he’s happy, Dean thinks to himself. Castiel is happy being surrounded by all these people, his extended brothers and sisters related by their common faith. There’s no judgement, nor any condescending snark putting others down, only courtesy and grace as each person steps up to the priest, professing their belief in the eucharist before shuffling along back to their pews, allowing for the order to continue.

It’s almost alarming how taken aback Dean is by the whole thing; he’d thought church was a big sham – a place for kids to cry and grown ups to yell, but sitting here now, witnessing all the kindness and warmth amidst the formalities, he can see that church is not about just going to a building every Sunday, it’s not even really a place on Earth, but a place in one’s heart.

Damn! He didn’t think his mind could get so sappily poetic, but today is just full of surprises. Oh well, he can pretend like he never thought that all he wants, God’s not gonna tell anyone.

He shifts back in his seat once more as the line of people slip back into his pew, settling back down to pray as the ushers at the back of the lines steadily reach the front.

The choir has since been singing a slow melody, glorifying the name of God as the assembly shuffles about, quietly returning to their seats. Once the song ends, the gifts have also been placed away and the crowd is allowed to raise from their knees and be seated. The silence pervades for a brief moment before the priest stands, causing everyone to follow. The man says a closing prayer with the audience and declares that the mass had ended, that they are dismissed to go forth in peace.

“Thanks be to God, “the crowd speaks in unison.

Thank God, Dean sighs internally. He might have been wrong about many things today, but he was still right on the money about how long the mass was; he didn’t know how much longer he would have been able to take of the boring litany before he finally just decided to leave. After the priest and his entourage of alter servers made their exit, the rest of the crowd filed out of the large double doors, the music of the choir sending them off.

Castiel takes a few moments to shake hands with a few people that he recognizes standing out in the lobby, but his serene expression quickly shifts into a worried look as Cas takes Dean’s arm and pulls him out the door, “We’d better hurry before the parking lot becomes a nightmare.”

Dean laughs, thinking about how these pious people could possibly become so hostile the moment they stepped out of the building. But he was wrong. Or rather, he was right – the blaring of car horns screech cantankerously in the open air as Cas drags him hurriedly to the Impala. He clicks his tongue a few times at the ridiculous behavior of some of the drivers as they try to hurry their way out of the one and only exit leading to the main road, scooching their cars and cutting one another off as they weave their way around the sauntering families; but at the same time, it was kinda funny, in a hypocritical, ironic sense.

“So, Dean,” Castiel begins as they sit patiently in the car, waiting for the line of cars to thin out a little as to not put Baby at any risk of injury, “What did you think?”

Dean thinks for a second, “It wasn’t bad. It was long, and kinda boring at times—”

“I saw you falling asleep during the sermon.”

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that. Couldn’t really help it. I can’t say I really believe in every word back there, but, overall: it was pretty okay” Castiel’s smile brightened. “But don’t get any ideas. I don’t think I’d be willing to go every Sunday.”

“Of course. You don’t have to. But I’m glad you gave it a chance and you seemed to not hate it, which is more than I expected.”

Dean feels like he should be offended by his boyfriend’s lack of faith in him, but what he said is fair – he really hadn’t expected to like it as much as he did either, which is saying something, even though Dean won’t really admit to it yet.

“If you’re at all interested, they have a band that plays with a guitar and electric drum set for Saturday masses. And also, they hand out free donuts and coffee every first Sunday of the month.”

Dean turns to look Cas square in the face. “Oh my God. That is so awesome! Why didn’t you say that before, Cas? Free food? And a kickass band! Your church rocks!”

Castiel laughs, shaking his head at Dean’s blasphemy when they’re still sitting in the church parking lot, no less. It’s gonna take a lot more than one hour to convert Dean from his bad habits, that’s for sure. But, Cas is glad that Dean is willing to immerse himself a bit more in the religious scene. He’s glad he can share this with his partner. And he’s glad that he can be himself, feeling safe in the comfort of the church whist sitting next to a man that means so much more to him than any disapproval from those who say they believe, but miss the point spectacularly. It’s not about scorn and abiding by rules, it’s about family and unity and guidance towards a grand and mysterious force that holds everything together. It’s about love. And for Dean to accompany him, even just for today, it’s more than Castiel could have ever prayed for.

#supernatural fanfic #supernatural #snp #destiel #dean wincher #castiel #fluff #religion #religious cas #take me to church #jesus #couple things #healthy relationship #original content

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smrttrtl · 3 years

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Nail Polish Inspired Writing

So, I had a fun idea while painting my nails. I was painting them a shade called "Midnight Drive," which I got because it's my favorite color and SNP-esque. I thought it would be fun to do drabbles/ one shots based on the names. This is mostly to see if writing fanfic is for me. I've come up with some cool ideas, so I figured out why not? Plus, some of my friends (@negans-lucille-tblr and @fandomfic-galore) helped by encouraging me.

Feel free to use these ones specifically or look at your own polish :)

The Inspo Names/Prompts

Invisible

Penny Talk

Berry Naughty

Flirting With Myself

Pale in Comparison

Princess

Black Out

Pucker Up

Disco Ball

Midnight Drive

Gadget Free

There is no Guarantee™ that I'll do all of these, but I will try :)

#smrttrtl talks #lex has friends #lex writes #maybe?

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chaoskirin · 5 years

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Fanfic -- A Temporal Folly -- CHAPTER 1

Fandom: Queen Genre: Sci-fi Rating: PG-13 Chapter Title: Staged (Chapter One) Word Count: 1339 Chapter Summary: Brian and Roger have a weird feeling about this particular concert. They can’t quite say why.

Brian felt a... a gravelling behind his ears. No, that wasn't the right word. Neither was "static" or "buzzing" or "itching." The discomfort spread backward toward his visual cortex, causing him to see flashes in the darkness of the pre-concert stadium. He heard footsteps--he thought. Maybe not exactly real ones, but subconscious ones? What the hell was a subconscious footstep? Something cemented in unreality, perhaps? A hallucination brought on by their rigorous schedule? Or even dehydration! That had to be it. "Can we stall?" he asked.

The last-minute tuning of the instruments ceased with a squeal. The audience cheered. They thought it was time. "How long?" someone asked.

"Just..." A flashlight glowed in the darkness. Brian held up his hand to block the beam. "A while."

"Eh." Roger appeared from the shadows, not quite hobbling, but walking in that stooped, relaxed manner of the aged. When did they get so old? "S'all right. Not like we ever start on time anyway, yeah?" He clapped Brian on the shoulder. "I gotta have a piss anyhow. Back in a bit."

"Such a refined British gentleman," Adam said, smiling. The flashlight caught on his glittery eye shadow and in shimmered through the murk. Had the flashlight been just a little brighter, it might have even created a little disco ball effect.

Freddie would have loved Adam.

"He's Roger," Brian replied. "He's never been known for--ah, well. Lots of things. But tact. Roger hates tact."

Adam dragged a crate over from offstage and sat down. The tuning resumed on the backup guitars as another cheer went up from the audience. "You all right?"

Brian scratched behind his head, trying to banish the numbness. Fingers tangling in his hair, he gave it a tug, which only brought momentary relief. "Here," he said, slinging the Red Special off his shoulder. "Put this somewhere."

Adam stared blankly, holding the antique guitar as if simply turning too fast would cause it to disintegrate. Brian found most people handled the old girl like she was made of porcelain, but she'd stand up to a lot more than people gave her credit for. Curling his nose, Adam managed to eke out, "Uh. Okay."

It had to be dehydration, Brian thought. With their day off yesterday, he had plenty of rest, and even managed to avoid doing the random touristy things he so loved. Okay, so he'd had a bit to drink. Just a couple glasses of merlot around dinner time, though. And one before bed. And he always drank water between. Because a tour was no excuse to let his exercise routine lapse, he also made sure to work out for at least an hour.

When did they get so old, the thought came again, intruding on his diagnosis. Finding a cooler for the stage hands, he dug through it until he found an unopened bottle of Dasani.

"Wait!" One of the handlers said. Alecia, Brian thought. The one responsible for making sure his dressing room had all the proper amenities and snacks. "We can get your brand from your room!" Brian shook his head, regretting the motion as a cycle of dizziness passed through him, all the way to--it seemed--his toes. Twisting off the cap of the bottle with a satisfying snp, he tipped it back, drinking his fill until a rivulet trickled down his chin.

"Brian, your shirt--" Alecia said.

Brian held up a hand. The gravelling was bothering him again. "It's all right. They won't notice in the nosebleeds." Which was where most of the crowd would be. Alecia gave up, shrugged, and wandered off.

Roger eventually shouldered past him, on his way back from the loo. A few steps past, he turned, tilting his head at Brian. "You feel off?" he asked.

"Yeah. You?"

"I feel old," was Roger's answer. Which was the perfect thing for Roger to say, because Brian was feeling the same way. "Suddenly. Not like looking in a mirror and thinking 'oh, I think I've lost another hair.'" Roger paused, narrowed his eyes, and added, "Not that you'd notice. It'd just catch in the other ones and weave itself into a biological toupee. I'm guessing most of those hairs on your head are still from the nineteen-bloody-seventies!" Brian sighed.

"Uh. But yes," Roger replied. "Yes, I feel like a--like a--" he gestured in front of his eyes, squishing up his face. "A thing."

"Like gravelling."

"Not the word I'd use. More like a pebbling if you'd ask me. Whatever it is, it's uncomfortable."

"Guys." It was their bass player, Neil, who appeared in the wing. His face seemed wrong somehow. Unhinged. Blurred. No--his face was right. It was perfectly right. It was just wrong. "We gotta go on. They're telling us they'll charge us for the extra electricity if we don't."

"We can afford it," Roger muttered, his voice flat. "Go tell 'em we'll be up in a minute."

Once Neil was gone, Roger turned to Brian. "Was that weird to you? Did something weird just happen?"

Brian declined to answer.

Roger nodded, a worried frown crossing his face for a fraction of a second. He turned, following Neil back to the stage. Brian went to take another sip of water, finding the bottle mysteriously empty.

---

Footsteps--actual ones this time--dragged through the backstage halls. One in front of the other. He could do this. He could make it.

Something beautiful existed between the moments of life and death; he'd gotten a mere glimpse of it. Enough to know he wasn't ready yet, that he had more time, somehow, within his rather tumultuous life.

It shouldn't have been as bad as it was, of course. But things went wrong. As wrong as they could go. They predicted glitches and hangups before the whole experiment started, but they couldn't have anticipated... He leaned on a wall, the paint catching on his rayon shirt and chipping, flaking downward. Little white speckles--tragedies from previous encounters with the wall--sparkled up from the floor like wayward stars. Stars should not be down. Momentary vertigo caused him to heave, but he managed to hold his dinner.

It would have to be here, wouldn't it? It would have to be. Something would have to exist to draw him back, or else the entire experiment would have been a mistake. A failure. It was a failure anyway. As he neared the stage, someone finally stepped in front of him. He didn't know who. "You can't--" she started, then her eyes widened and she shuffled out of the way.

Even though his legs felt like lead, he climbed the stairs anyway, plucking a bass from the rack just offstage. They were playing the opening chords to "Now I'm Here," and common courtesy demanded he at least try to join in.

He couldn't remember, though. He felt so addled...

Were he thinking clearly, maybe he would have waited. But after the trek he made, it felt like he hadn't slept in years. It never occurred to him that there would be an audience, even though he heard them screaming as the lights rose around them. And he stepped onto the stage.

He lost his grip on the bass and it clattered to the floor.

The music continued for just another couple moments until everyone realized what was going on; even the crowd fell silent.

"The house lights!" Someone called. A gentle, enduring voice. Unchanged even after all these years. Brian. "Get the house lights up!"

They flickered on.

Halfheartedly, he tried to pick up the bass as Brian approached, but he couldn't seem to get a grip around the neck. A chill tingled up his spine as he realized thousands of people were staring at him.

Brian took him by the shoulders, turning him this way and that. From the drum riser, Roger tore off his sunglasses and narrowed his eyes.

Some kid with black hair stared from left stage.

"John?" Brian said. "What are you doing here?"

#queen #queen band #a temporal folly #ck writes #ck's fanfic

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future-circuit · 6 years

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i was tagged by @theprettysettersclub by ways of tagging the @thewritersquad

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean? I always use the same username nowadays, or a variant of it. It stemmed from a conversation me and my old friend had well over a year ago now in which we were talking about politics (typical) and we were saying how the best party in the whole of the UK was clearly the SNP and then that’s how we got to ‘Paint It Yellow’ since yellow is the colour of the SNP so I changed my name on the site we were talking on to ‘Paint It Yellow’ and my profile picture to my current one and she switched her profile picture to a picture of the colour yellow.

Not very exciting, I know.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos) Well, one of my first Noragami fics is my most viewed at 372 hits but actual feedback wise I’d say that a crack fic for Persona 5 that I wrote for a friend is up there with four comment threads and twelve kudos and, y’know, for a fic with only 64 words I’d say that’s pretty fuckin’ good.

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it? Rimuru Tempest from Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken! Well, I think it’s pretty simple as to why I chose him. I like his character design s’all. I mean, I like him as a character too but y’know.

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters? Well it’s pretty rare for me to even get comments in the first place so I don’t have the chance to have any.

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again? Not so much nowadays since I don’t read as many fanfics as I used to, but I used to re-read Hopeful Refrain by ObviousLeigh a lot.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked? None. I didn’t know that subscribing was a thing for the longest time and I could never be bothered bookmarking anything either cause I’m a lazy ass.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most? I mean, out of my published work the Pokemon Ranger AU for Servamp is probably the only AU I continuously write (I still have the next one-shot for it stuck in my WIPs. It’s been there for months, oops).

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page) I was going to laugh this off like ‘none, obviously, have you read my writing??’ but I decided to check just for the hell of it and turns out there is some few people. Why.

Four subscriptions to works, zero to me (obviously) and seven people have bookmarked my work too which is... Concerning, we’ll say.

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!) Not so much because I feel I’d be judged but one day I’d like to write an action story. I love watching action shows and reading action manga but I don’t really read action novels themselves. I’ve done some action roleplaying though so I’m getting better at it I hope.

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc. I’d like to get better at writing in general and I’d like to be able to actually write an on-going series and keep up with it. I’m bad at commitment to that sort of thing. Specifically though, writing-wise, I’d like to get better at action scenes, as mentioned above, and dialogue since I often find myself stuck because of dialogue that I can’t think of a way for the conversation to move. There’s also just the fact that I feel I write a lot of stuff dialogue (unless I’m writing full-blown crack), which is why I often have very little dialogue if I can help it.

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often? I just don’t write ships. I can see myself wanting to in the future if I even get back into the whole shipping thing but for now, I can’t write a believable romance to save my life and I don’t really want to either.

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

21.

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program? I have a few but I couldn’t count them since that’d take too long, off my head I can think of four but those are ones I’ve looked at recently.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head? I try to write them down but that never works so they tend to stay in my head, forever unwritten. I really need to find a system that works for me but so far, no luck.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story? I used to co-author a lot on another site when I was much, much younger. They weren’t good stories by any means, I mean, they were all Warriors fics and one of them I remember vividly as being a rant book in which I’d try my best to piss people off. It worked surprisingly well, but then, we were all just a bunch of kids.

16. How did you discover AO3? Not a mcfucking clue.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3? Fucking most certainly not. I don’t tell a majority of my friends that I write in the first place and since I only write crappy little one-shots it’s not like anything’s about to stick in someone’s head anytime soon.

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers? Nope.

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write? I wouldn’t say so, no.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author? Just fucking do it. Even if you don’t show it to anyone, even if you think you’re a fucking wretch at it, just do it. It’s advice you hear everywhere but listen, folk’ll read anything, especially if it’s for a fandom. Folk are fucking stupid so just do it and even if you don’t like it, someone might.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go? Me? Plot out a story? A comedic thought. There’s only two stories I’ve ever planned out, one of them I’ve been thinking of (and love the characters for) for over a year now, approaching two, and I haven’t wrote one word of it. The other one is the only work I think I can say I genuinely still like that I wrote based on the poem War Photographer by Carol Ann Duffy for my English class.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do? Not if my memory serves me right, no, but as I said, I don’t get many comments in the first place.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

Ayy, the return of I-Can’t-Fucking-Write-Action. I also can’t write romance for shit.

24. What story(s) are you working on now? Well, I’m working on my Yugioh Secret Santa gift and soon enough I’ll be working on the monthly prompt to add into my first attempt at writing an apocalyptic story and I’m still trying to finish that goddamn Pokemon Ranger AU and that sorta fantasy-ish AU for Servamp I started eons ago.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)? I don’t finish jack-shit. I feel like a broken record.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself? I recently started to urge myself to try and write at least a word into a document since I want to make sure I get my YSS out in time and I have a character information sheet I need to finish.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started? The earliest creative writing thing I can find from me is when I was in Primary 4, so around seven or eight, and it’s a paragraph of a ‘horror’ story where a man walks into a house, turns and sees some kids behind him, faces forward again before turning around again and seeing that they turned into pumpkins. I don’t think I can even get any better than that one paragraph.

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written? Over all, my favourite is the one I’ve mentioned before called War Photographer but fic-wise I’d say that my favourite thing I’ve ever written would most likely be the Persona 5 crack fic I mentioned way back called When the Stars Fall Down though in terms of proper fics and not just short crack things, maybe The Test of Courage (and How to Fail It) from my Pokemon Ranger AU. It’s not the most spectacular thing I’ve ever written but I remember really enjoying writing it at the time so there’s that.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written? In general? I wrote a story about a bit of kindling trying to seek revenge once. I deleted it so it wouldn’t be viewed by mortal eyes.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years? Dead and in a ditch.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing? Making useless metaphors and monologues. Sure do love me some monologues.

32. What is the hardest thing about writing? Everything else.

33. Why do you write? It used to be because I loved reading and was encouraged to start writing by a teacher and I really liked getting attention as a kid since i had no friends at all and then it just grew into something I loved so dearly. The fact that I could make characters? Make scenarios that’d never feasibly happen to me? Amazing! Well, that’s what I thought then. I think nowadays I write because I’m lonely as and my life is so painfully boring that I need to fill it up with fictional characters.

So basically, the same reason I read.

I don’t know who to tag really, but hey, yo @cheetahleopard. Plus anyone else who wants the excuse to do it.

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anotherweirdhunterfromspn · 6 years

Text

'24hs with her' (pt.1)

Characters: Adam Milligan x Reader

(Click here and watch my SNPmasterlist )

'If I said yes, you are going to protect her?' Adam asked to Michael, who was using a young John Winchester as his vessel.

'Yes, I'll keep your lover safe. If that was your worry.' Michael answered and Adam get blushed, Michael didn't like the idea of taking Adam like his vessel but Dean made his choice and Michael had no more time to lose with the oldest Winchester.

Adam bit his lips, he was confused, what he should do? If he don't say yes it will be the end of the world and you probably will die or get possesed by demons. (Or something more horrible, he didn't want to think about it.) 'I made my choice...' He said, it was like a whisper but he knows the angel have listen his words. 'But first... Please let me stay with her one day, I want to see her one more time and...'

Michael blinked confused, he don't understand a lot about humans feelings but aparely you were very importan for this one and he didn't want to go without said you his last words. 'You have just 24hs, when time ends I'll be waiting you here.' Adam smiled at Michael, whisper 'Thank you' before the archangel teletransport him outside of Bobby's house.

Adam blinked confused before notice where he was. He looks at the door of the house, thinking if you are with Bobby.

If Michael send me here is because you are here.

He nocket the door twice and Dean open the door, surprised to see his half brother in the doorway. 'Wow! I think you were dead!' Dean exclaim before throwed holy water to his younges brother. Adam close his eyes and whisper an insult before cleaned his face. 'Its me, idiot.'

Dean roll his eyes, leting him enter in the house. 'So, who put you here again? A demon? Because if (Y/N) selled her soul I going to kick your ass, her ass, and all demons ass if I has to.' Dean was a bit angry, thinking about how you could sell your soul for a boy who you had a little crush (yes, because Dean noticed the way you looked at him and how bad you end when you noticed he was dead)

'The angels.' Adam said with a coldness voice, he dont want to lose his time with Dean.

'Wait, what? The angels? Who?' Dean start to asking, his voice were to hight and anyone in the house was listening. 'Did they hurt you or something?'

'DEAN!' Adam screamed, making the oldess Winchester shut up. Sam and you gots out from the basement, sam was the first to talk 'Dude what the hell- Adam?'

You looked at him in shock, for a ten seconds no one speak or move. 'A-Adam, its really you?' You barely asked, you voice was like a soft whisper. Adam smiled at you, he was so nervous to ask you to go on a date with him. 'Its me, its truly me (y/n)' You ran to him and he hugged you, you're so happy to see your best friend again. 'Oh my god, I can't believe it... Guys dont wake me up or I going to kill you all.' Adam laugh a bit, hugging you more when he noticed the tears falling your eyes and your sobs.

'Please dont cry (y/n)' He said softly, Sam and Dean make they way to the kitchen, leaving you and Adam some time alone.

'I missed you to much Adam.'

'I missed you too sweetheart.' He said before kissed you in your forehead.

You get blush, smiling at him. ' How are you?'

'I'm the one who have to ask you that, how are you (y/n)?' he put your hair out of your face, smiling when your eyes found his eyes. ' You're beautiful, I missed you every day.' He kissed your nose and your cheeks before to kiss your lips.

'A-Adam...' You whisper at him.

'I love you (y/n), I'm sorry for never tell you before.'

You smiled at him, with tears in your eyes. ' I love you to idiot.'

Adam smiled sadly, 'hey, lets go on a date. I want to pass the all day with you.' He want to tell you about Michael's deal, but what will be happen if you know that? You probably want to stop him, to stop Michael. 'We can just stay here together if you want or go to... I dont know, cinema? ' You nodded and he smiled nervous at you.

You kissed him and ran to your room, he sigh nervour. Dean take a chair and put it next to Adam's, angels?'

'I have 24hs of freedom before I'll be Michael's vessel'

'I'm sorry' Was all Dean said before leave his half brother alone again.

#reader insert #supernatural imagine #supernatural #snpfamily #supernatural x reader #adam milligan #adam milligan x reader #adam milligan/winchester #michael (supernatural)#snp fanfic #reader x adam milligan #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatueal reader insert #adam winchester #snp imagine #snp x reader #reader story insert #supernatural fanfic

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daisydaisybilly · 4 years

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1912 | part 5

Title: Summary: y/n gets away after things pile up (i suck at summaries) Pairing: Dean x Reader Square filled for @spnquotebingo: “I’m not gonna stop caring about you no matter how hard you push me away. Warnings: swearing, angst, bit of jealous, mention of cheating and think that's it Word count: 2.8k A/N: making parts shorter from now on, find it easier to write more that way. hopefully this part is good, i personally really like it. also might have a Bucky x reader coming out soon.

read through be might of missed some mistakes

series masterlist | MAIN MASTERLIST | REQUEST OPEN

Sometime in the early morning you were woken up by the bedroom door opening and closing, then someone sitting down on your side of the bed. You kept your eyes shut, it could be no one else but Dean. You could feel him watching you, keeping your eyes closed you waited until he moved away.

Seconds passed before he sighed and got up, you stayed still and listened as he walked around the room before settling down next to you in bed. You waited until his breathing slowed down and a bit longer to make sure he was asleep.

Carefully you slipped out of the bed, moving slowly you put your dressing grown on. Stopping before the door and looking back to Dean who was still fast asleep you carefully you made your way downstairs to the hall. The cold wood floors sent shivers up your spine, you pulled your dressing grown closer around you, the only sound was the fabric of your clothes brushing against the floor.

When you got to the hall you looked around to see if anyone was around before you picked the phone up. Hoping someone would be awake by now you called your family home, it wouldn’t be long until someone found you wondering around in your night wear. When you were just about to give up and head back to bed someone picked up.

You were meet by a breathless maid, “Y/L/N house, how can I help you?”.

“it’s Y/N, I know its early but I wanted to past a message on to my mother that I’ll be coming to visit today” you tried to keep your voice neutral, the last thing you wanted was for someone to pick up on your feelings before you had a chance to tell your mother yourself.

“Mrs Y/L/N will be pleased Ma’am, do you know when you’d be here?”

“this afternoon or evening at the latest” you smiled, after you put the phone down you sigh in relief. As you walked back upstairs a footman walked out of the staff stairway. “hello?” you called out, “I was just looking for someone, I’m planning on visiting my mother today and need someone to book me a spot on your earliest train” you say as he nodded along, he turned back as he did you thanked him before moving quicker up the stairs.

You felt a little lighter now you had a plan that would get you away for a few days, at least enough time to think. You pushed open the bedroom door expecting to find Dean still asleep but were shocked when he was sat up. You swallowed seeing him there awake before you carried on walking.

“I thought you would still be asleep” you muttered going over to your wardrobe to get your suitcase, you stayed quiet as you put it down by the dresser.

“where are you going?” you heard his voice weaver.

“To my mother’s house, I should be gone a day or two” you briefly looked at him before taking a few dresses from the wardrobe. “I think it will do us both some good” you spoke slowly, not knowing what he’d responded.

“We could just talk it out” he sigh standing up from the bed.

“what else can you tell me? You love her but you’re married to me and there is nothing I can do about it” you huffed throwing thing into your case.

He walked over to you and held your hands to keep you from moving. “I never wanted any of this to happen”.

You looked down at his hands and then to him, “tell me then but I’m still seeing my mother no matter what you say”. He led you back to the end of the bed where you sat together.

He took a deep breath and looked to the ceiling, “it started when we were 16, I came back in the holidays and I bumped into her, literally I did, I made her drop everything she was carrying, I agreed to take her out for dinner as an apology and after that it was every week until I had to go back to school. So, then we wrote to each other all the time and slowly I don’t know when exactly, but we fell in love.” You couldn’t look at him as he told the full story. “When we were 19 we wanted to get married but I was already engaged to you, but I was so sure I could get out of it and told her that but our fathers did a good job with the agreement and it was unbreak able. We were so sure of it that we slept together, and when we didn’t find a way out, we thought it would be better to have something had nothing”.

“did you think I’d never find out?” you asked carefully.

“I knew you would, but I wanted more time”

You cleared your throat, “Is Jo the reason why you hardly touch me or even talk to me?”

“I didn’t think it fair to either of you”

“but you carried on sleeping with her?” you raised an eyebrow when he looked away you moved. “I need to pack”. He didn’t try and stop you again just watched as you put move things in your case. Before anyone else could say anything, someone knocked at the door, you hurried over and opened it.

“We manged to get you out on the next train Miss, the driver will take you down when you’re ready”

“That’s wonderful thank you, ask one of the footmen to come up in 10 minutes to get my bag” you smiled to her, she nodded and left you. After closing the door, you went and found something to wear.

“What will I say when Jessica or Sam ask where you’ve gone?”

“the truth” you said shortly, “I have gone to visit my mother and I’ll be back in a few days”, you stepped behind the screen, “Sam knows and I’m sure Jessica has put the dots together”. When you came back into view again you were dressed in a yellow dress.

“y/n” he started. “I’m not gonna stop caring about you no matter how hard you push me away”.

“care about me?” your voice rose, you had to fight back tears. Your breathing was heavy as you looked away shaking your head, “ I told you I would go no matter what you said. You told me the full story and I accept it, I accept that I am just a symbol of a promise our fathers made, and I never been anything more, I don’t like it but what other options do I have. All I ask for is my freedom and if you do care about me then you’ll do as I ask, I will return because I also made a promise, but I need to get away”.

He got up and reached you, taking a step away from him you hit the screen. “Let me drive you at least”.

“no” you said to quickly, “I’m fine with getting the train alone, I want to be alone”. Another knocked came from the other side of the door, “Coming” you called. Squeezing everything in a single case, you looked at yourself in the mirror before looking to Dean. Neither said anything, neither could before a footman walked in to get the bags. You breathed when you were alone again, when you walked past him you lent down quickly and kissed his cheek, “we both need this time to think things through”.

You were met downstairs by the butler and a maid, they both looked like they had rushed around to get everything done, you couldn’t help but feel bad for being the reason. “thank you” you nodded, as they handed over your coat and hat. Once you were outside you looked up to your shared bedroom window, part of you was hoping you’d find Dean watching you leave but the curtains stayed drawn.

During the train ride you slept some more, the night before had finally caught up with you. When you woke up after nearly two hours you head ached and pounded. You lent against the window and watch the scene past, from what you could remember you were only two stops away.

With nothing else to do you ran your fingers through your hair trying to fix it, you rushed at fast to get away you hadn’t bothered to put on your corset, it felt good not to wear one of once. Your mind wondered to Winchester house and what everyone was doing, Jessica and Sam would be awake by now, would they be asking where you were? Would they even care that you were gone? You decided to call Jessica, she was the only one you wanted to talk to about your sudden disappearance. For one moment you thought about calling Cas, but the thought left as soon as it appeared, it was silly to want too, he couldn’t be someone you could turn too it wouldn’t look right but, why did you want to?

Before your mind could wonder anymore, your train stop came. Someone helped you off the train and carried your bag over to the cars. You hoped your mother would have sent the car to meet you, you could always call and ask but you had already cause enough trouble for both houses.

Thankful a few cabs were already waiting by the road, after telling the driver the address you were off, you sighed in relief as you breathed in the fresh country air, the smoke and the noise of the city was behind you now and you were comforted by the clean air.

When the cab drove up the path to your old home, you stuck you head out of the window and smiled when you saw your mother waiting by a window, she spotted you straight away and came running from the door. Not giving the cab a chance to stop you jumped out and greeted your mother with a hug. “Mama, I’ve missed you so much”, you pushed your head into her neck.

She laughed lifting your face, “look at you my sweet little girl, I thought you had stopped growing years ago”. You only pulled away from her when the driver of the cab cleared his throat, embarrassed you handed over some money and took you bag from the back.

Your mother wrapped her arm around yours as she led you into the house, you smiled looking around, nothing had changed. “everything looks the same” you whispered more to yourself than her.

She laughed and shook her head, “why would anything be different?”, she watched as you bit your lip looking away. When you were alone in the sitting room she held onto your hand. “is Dean not joining you?”.

“No” you shook you head, “the trip was planned to last minute of him to make it” you smiled. You couldn’t meet her eyes, but you could them. You looked around the room making sure no one else was nearby. “things haven’t been going well recently” you muttered.

She squeezed your hand, “it can take time sometimes, it did for your father and I”.

“mama, nothing is like how I thought it would be” you said, your bottom lips trembling. You looked at her to see her reaction she sighed and pulled you into a hug, you sank into her embrace. She rubbed your back as you cried lightly on her shoulder. “I don’t know what to do, mama”.

She lifted your face, “you’ll stay here for as long as you need”. You nodded wordless before hugging her again.

She held you while you cried for another 10 minutes until the butler knocked at the door, you pulled away from your mother and wiped your eyes. “A Jessica Moore on the telephone for Mrs Winchester”.

“Jessica” you breathed, “Tell her I’ll be one moment”. Away the butler left you turned to your mother to explain, “Jessica is Sam’s fiancé, I didn’t get a chance to talk with her before I left”.

“she must be worried about you” she shook her head, pushing you lightly to leave the room.

You had barely had the chance to say hello before Jessica started speaking. “Y/n! thank god I was so worried when I heard you left this morning” you could hear how worried she was, she didn’t need to say anything.

“I’m sorry. I should of spoke to you before I left but it so early and I knew you would be the only one who could change my mind” you glanced around room out of habit. “I’ll only be gone a few days, I promise”.

“did something happen with Dean?” she asked more quietly.

You sighed and nodded before remembering she couldn’t see you, “yes and no, I decide I wanted to leave before we talked. I didn’t even on plan on telling him, but he woke up and I had no chose”. You clewed on your lower lips thinking if you should tell her everything, “he loves her, Jess. How can I comped with that?” you ask sadly.

She exhaled in frustration, “I can’t believe he didn’t tell you until now! How long would he have waited if we didn’t see them?”. Her breathing was fast, you could tell how mad she was.

You chuckled dryly, “Who knows? He said he wanted too but couldn’t find the right time” you sighed. “I don’t know how to feel Jess”.

“I could ask Sam-“

“no” you nearly shouted, you hid your face behind your hair when passing staff stopped and looked your way. “I’m sure he already knows everything, I just need a few days alone so I can think and then I’ll come back”.

“take as much time as you need” you could hear her smile, “call me if you change your mind about coming back early or if you stay longer. It’s barely been a day and I miss you. don’t know how much longer I can deal with the boys.” she laughed.

You laughed too, “I will. You’re the only one I think cares that I’ve left, dean says he cares but I don’t know what to believe anymore”.

She didn’t say anything for a moment, “everyone is missing you believe Dean and if not him then believe me” .

“I hope you’re right” you smiled sadly.

The next morning you woke up in your childhood room, the last time you were here you didn’t think you’d be back so soon. It was strange to be alone in a bed again, you didn’t think you would grow so use to sharing a bed with someone, it felt colder.

You turned to the empty space next to you, hand out stretched seeing if it felt any different, you couldn’t help but wonder if Dean was at all bothered over you parting, if maybe he too was feeling the empty spot next to him in bed, you laughed at the thought shaking the thought from your mind getting up from bed.

Alice came straight up caring your breakfast tray after ringing, you smiled seeing her. You hadn’t realized how much you had miss your old life until now, everything was so easy before. “someone left a message for you Miss” Alice smiled digging a note out of her apron pocket.

You put down you cup and took it from her with a smile, “Thank you Alice”, your smiled fell when you saw it was from Dean, knowing Alice was watching you folded it up and slipped it under your pillow. “I should be okay getting dress. Gotten us to it now”. Not saying another word, she nods and leaves the room.

When you could no longer hear her footstep, you reached under the pillow and pulled out the note.

y/n. call me please, I want to talk.

So short, but what else could he have said when you weren’t the one to answer the phone. When you had finished your breakfast, you rose from bed to get dressed. Not having many options to choose from, you didn’t leave enough time to plan what you might need.

After searching for something you chose a white high neck silk shirt paired with a purple skirt, you also threw on a matching purple shawl against the cold. As you walked through the hall, you stopped and thought about calling Dean, but you knew you didn’t have it in you to talk about everything again.

“darling? Is that you?” your mother called out.

“yes mother” you turn away and walked towards where her voice was coming from. You found her in the dining room going through a menu with the housekeeper. They had countless different menus laid out before them. “are we hosting?”.

She didn’t look up from the menu in her hand, “Yes my dear”.

“anyone I know?” you asked looking over the options.

She laughed like you were being silly, “your husband, his brother and his fiancé”. You froze on the spot looking up at her. she didn’t noticed and carried on, “Dean called his morning asking if you arrived okay and asking if you decide on how long you were staying, I wasn’t sure, so I invited them to join us tomorrow”.

You cleared your throat and went back to looking the menus over even though you could feel yourself heating up. “it will be a wasted journey, I’ll most likely head back in a one or two anyway. I’ll call them back and tell them not to bother”.

“don’t be silly we are all family now”, you saw there was no point fighting and left her to it.

part 6

tag list (tag list open)

@alkaia23 // @clearhorseturtlecreator // @akshi8278

#spnquotebingo #dean winchester #dean #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester imagine #reader x dean winchester #dean winchester one shot #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean fanfic #spn fic #snp #spn imagine #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #SUPERNATURAL AU #time period au #dean Winchester time period au

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daisydaisybilly · 4 years

Text

Hard to love - part 6

title- hard to love - 1, 2 3 4 5 pairing: fem!reader x Sam word count: 4.2k square filled: for @spnquotebingo - “We are far from perfect, but we are good.” warnings: angst, swearing, some fluff, pre smut and more fluff A/N: last part, sad to finishes this because I've really enjoyed writing it but it had to come to an end. half edited but it’s 4 am and i need sleep so mistakes are there. Want to say thank you to everyone that read this series and hope you stick around for my next. (Working on a dean one or a love triangle one but both need work so i’ll update soon)

MAIN MASTERLIST | REQUEST OPEN | series masterlist

It felt like you were in a mindless runt. You pushed any kind of feeling down, scared that if you felt even the smallest thing then you'd feel everything.

A few hunts back you had met Donna, she was a hunter/sheriff. You had rolled into Stillwater, Minnesota after hearing about a case. She had seen right through your fake FBI get up right away. But instead of arresting you like you thought she would. You two bonded really fast, something about her was easy to trust. You gave her your number for if she ever needed your help.

You still missed Sam everyday but you remembered why you stayed away. You hoped he had moved on, it made it easier to think that.

But the one thing you didn't think would happen, she would know Sam and Dean. Of all the hunters in American you had to befriend one who knew them. When she called you originally you thought it would just be the two of you but as you pulled up at the meeting spot you saw all three talking.

They hadn't seen you yet, you wanted to drive away and call Donna with a bullshit excuse but you had promised to help. You watched for a few seconds, watching Sam mostly. He looked tired but he was still smiling. Donna always had a way to make people feel better even when everything was falling apart.

Donna was the first to notice you watching in your car, when she stopped so did the Winchesters. Both their faces dropped. You looked away, trying to pull yourself together.

You want to keep an emotionless façade, making yourself the villain you felt were. The boys were keeping a similar façade as well, not wanting Donna to know the issues.

Looking straight at Donna, not having the will power to look either Sam or Dean in the eyes. Sam would of obviously told Dean everything. You couldn't help but remember what Dean said when you first came to the bunker.

'He's already wiped. Just don’t mess him around.'

And you did it the end, you let him think you were okay enough to be with someone completely. "Donna" you smiled as she hugged you.

"Y/N, Glad you could make it. This is-" She drew away, turning you to face Sam and Dean. All the air left your lungs but you couldn't show it.

"We've met actually" Dean cut her off, if looks could kill you'd be dead.

"Oh I didn't know" she still smiled not noticing the awkward air around the four of you. "so I bet you're wondering why I call you all here"

"Something like that" Dean muttered. Sam had yet to say anything but you could feel his eyes on you.

"Well, I called you guys for the muscle and Y/N here for brains" she slapped Dean on his back.

"glad that's what I'm known for" you weakly smiled.

Dean muttered something under his breath but you didn’t caught it in time.

"So what do you know so far?" You said Donna, you could feel your façade dropping.

"well it all started a few weeks back, a local man was killed we had no leads until a women came in claiming she knew the man and dreamt how he died, days before he did" Donna explained.

"They could just be a physic" you hoped it was that simple, then you could leave.

"that was my first thought but then we got half a dozen calls about people's nightmares coming true" Donna finished the whole story.

"I'll look into some lore about dreams coming true and the rest of you can question people" You said.

"You sure you're okay alone?" Donna smiled still not picking up the tense.

"of course" you smile a bit to wide , nodding to everyone. "like you said these guys are the muscle and they'll need your help more than me".

Your eyes locked on Sam longer than the others. He just barely met your eyes. "right then, guess we'll caught up later" Donna said with the same cheerily tone.

After another smile you started to walk back to your car. You could do this, just this case then you could hide away. "Y/N". You stopped dead, If anyone was going to shout after you, you thought it would be Donna or even Sam but not Dean.

"Dean" you didn't turn around. "Just so you know I didn't know you guys would be here".

"would you of shown up If you did?" Dean said from behind, his voice was cold.

You swallowed and turned to face him. "No I wouldn't, and the only reason I'm staying is because Donna asked me to help. I'll stay out of your way as much as I can. I don't want to hurt Sam more than I already have".

"So you admit you hurt him" Dean argued.

You looked just over his shoulder, Donna and Sam were watching the two of you. "I know I hurt him, and I hate myself for doing it but this is the easier way".

"breaking his heart is easier?!" it was clear he was angry.

"Yes. Walking away is a lot easier than him dying or me dying. How you ever watched someone you love die?" You felt angry too. Of course Dean had questions.

He didn't say anything but his face said it all.

"This way I am the bad guy, this way Sam can hate me and move on and be- he can be happy" You felt like crying, everything was hitting you all at once. "I'm going to go and research and you can go back to hating me too".

He didn't say anything, only nodded. You looked to Sam again, he was doing the same, looking at you. Keeping the narrative as the villain you were the one to look away.

Somehow the town had a store that sold a wide range of stuff. From supplies of spells to bones. You didn’t know to know what or whose bones they were but it was still interesting .

The section you needed most was at the very back of the store. They had old hardbacks and newer paper backs. You really had no idea what you were looking for, dreams coming true was strange. They sounded more like nightmares if anything.

Something that used nightmares. You swore you heard something about nightmares in polish folklore. In the end you left the store with 5 books, one in polish you could barely read.

The next step was to find a motel to stay until the case was over. You only had to drive for a mile or so before you found one that looked okay.

you sent a quick text to Donna telling her where she'd find you. All you did for the next 3 hours was read and take notes. The wall above the bed was covered in ideas.

You were stood on your bed with a book in each hand and a pen in your mouth. You stopped when the motel door opened. If it was someone trying to attack you, they had chosen the right time.

"Hey, Y/N you find anything" Donna came in carrying some beer with her. "I thought we could have a girls night"

You spat your pen out, still holding the books. "Donna. I didn't think I'd see you again today" you jumped from the bed, putting the books down too.

"Well we finished with the questioning and I wanted to catch up with you. Plus I wanna know what happened with you and the Winchesters" she shut the door behind her. Turns out she had spotted the tense from earlier.

"What about the Winchester?" you tried to play dumb but Donna saw right through it.

"I saw how you couldn't look them in the eyes, and then I saw the way you spoke with Dean" she eyed you seriously handing you a bottle.

"It's very hard to explain" you sighed, "I met them months ago"

"And the rest?" Donna asked holding her own beer.

"Not important. But want is, is this case and I think I might found what we are looking for" you point to the note covered fall. "now I'm getting most of my infor from a polish book and I can't read it all but the other books fill in the gaps".

"okay, I'll bite what we looking at" Donna sighed, knowing she'll get nothing out of you right now.

"Okay so I remembered something about witches and dreams but couldn't remember the whole lore but I found it" you jumped up on the bed pointing at all your work. "They're called Night hags, they're nightmare spirits they feed on nightmares".

"and how do ya kill one of these night hags?" she pointed to all your research on the wall with the hand that held her beer.

"sliver but you need to do it when they're feeding, which is the hard bit" you bite your lips and picked up another book, "I found a summoning spell but we will need someone to act as bait".

"Well then better call the boys" she reached for her phone but you stopped her before she could.

"Do we need too? We can do it, you know girl power and all" you said, feeling nervous about being in the same room as the boys so soon. You thought you had at least tonight. "or we can do it tomorrow night? They're probably at a bar getting drunk anyway".

"I'll only agree if you tell me what's going on with you and the boys"

"Promise?" you bite the inside of your cheek, already feeling worried.

"You bet ya" she sat down on the bed, waiting for you to join her.

You sighed a sat down next her, getting your own beer. "like I said I met them a mouths ago, I saved them from some witch" you smiled at the memory. "Then I did a case alone with Sam and we bonded , like I really bonded. Then we kept in contact but I didn't see him for a while and when we finally did see each other again. I broke his heart because I can’t let myself love him, even though I do" you felt your throat croak with a sob when you finished.

Donna just hugged you, "I didn't think it was something so big".

"I hate myself for what I did to him" you muttered, "I hope he hates me, it would make everything easy".

"maybe it's not too late. Maybe he still feels the same" she rubbed your back.

"but it scares me, what I feel for him and what he feels for me" your sobbed a little more. "All I want is for him to be happy".

-x-

After a while Donna left, you were too upset to talk anymore. You had just gotten dressed after a shower. The only light came from the streetlight outside. The bed had been cleared for all your things, everything was still and quite.

You sat down on the chairs by the window, putting your head in your hands. Now you were alone you could take in the whole day, seeing Sam, your chat with Dean and all the feeling bubbling up again.

Someone walked past your window casing a shadow across the floor, you watched as the shadow stopped outside your room. Reaching for you gun you waited to see what would happen. You took a few steps towards the door, reaching for the door handle. You sung the door open and opened your mouth in shock when you saw who was standing there.

He was swaying a little, like he couldn't stand up for you. His long hair was a little messy from the wind and being messed with. "Sam" his name left your lips, you felt the pain of it.

He pushed his head up so he could stand taller, "Donna mentioned you were staying here and I want to talk" His words were wobbly. You could smell beer and whiskey coming off him.

"You're drunk. Tell me where you're staying and I'll drive you back" you went to hold his arm but he pushed it away.

"NO" you stepped back, taken back from his raised tone. "I'm not leaving until you speak with me".

You felt hopeless, "Come in before someone calls the cops" you open the door wider for him. "I'll call Dean"

"he's asleep" Sam muttered walking into the room. Throwing his jacket off and onto a chair.

"Fine. I'll get another room and you can stay here" you sighed and went to grab a few things.

Sam breathed heavy and turned to watch you. "just stay here", the lifted his hands up and sat on the bed. "We've shared a bed before".

"this time is different" you said, putting some steel in your voice.

"your choice" he muttered under his breath.

You pushed back your hair, "the right choice".

Sam stood up, catching himself a little and walked closer to you. "don't I get a choice!". You couldn't answer all your fight had been taken over by your guilt and pain. Maybe you had only been thinking about yourself and how you weren't strong enough. "you left before I could say I love you"

You face was wet with tears, that was the last thing you ever thought he'd say. You opened and closed your mouth to speak. He was waiting for you to speak but all you could do was stare. He raised his hand and held your face, a sob sounded from the back of your throat when you lent closer to him.

You felt more tears fall, you brought your hand to his. You had missed his touch more than anything, all the warmth from his hand was traveling through your whole body. Your lips parted when his thumb ran along them. "Sam. We can't".

He didn't move away or change his face. You couldn't bear to look any longer so you closed your eyes. You felt his free arm go round you. Your breath quicken when he lend you to walk on.

You opened your eyes and looked into his hazel ones. They were half closed with exhaustion. "we can sleep, just grant me that". You wanted to fight but you were to exhausted yourself. It went like clockwork, you both settled down in bed, he wrapped his arms around you. He buried his head into the nook of your neck. And that's how you slept, safe in his arms.

-x-

Sunlight warming your skin woke you up, you could feel Sam's sallow breath on your neck. It was a slip to let Sam in, even more of a sip that you feel asleep in his arms but despised the regret you would feel late you finally felt whole.

You turned so you could face him, his hair had fallen across his face, his eyelashes casting shadows over his cheeks. You still had a whole case to get through when you both woke up. But being in his arms again was all you had wanted since you left but like always you knew this wouldn't end well. God Sam would wake up thinking all was good but you were still so unsure if you'd make it out alive, Sam was right though he deserved a choice about how this ended.

His eyes were beginning to open, you bit your lip as his sleepy hazel eyes focused on you. You wondered what he remembered from last night he was just drunk enough to speak with you but maybe he'd forgotten just how he'd gotten to your room.

"hi" you whispered, he smiled immediately when he saw you were still next to him, still in his arms.

"Hi" he voice was half wonder and shock. He brought his hand the back of your neck. "So…mmm what does this mean?"

You didn't know what to say because you were thinking the same thing, "honestly? I don't know, but you were right last night. I never gave you a choice, I just ran and it was wrong so maybe if-" you breathed heavy through your nose as he waited for you to finish, he already looked so hopefully. "If we take things slow then maybe and it’s a big maybe I can let go of my fear for losing you".

He first answered by pulling you into a tight hug, you paused in a moment of shock but then put your arms around him. You could feel him grinning against your shoulder. He pulled away to speak. "I don't want to push you in to this".

"No, I need the push" you smile, running your fingers thought his hair, pushing it away. "I love you and I don't want to push you away, I need the time away and this half finished case to show me".

"Yeah, I was gonna ask about all the creepy stuff on the wall" he looked up to the wall above the bed and shrived. "Why have it above the bed?"

"because then I don't have to stare at it when I'm in bed" you laughed, you pulled him closer. "Kiss me?", he didn't need to be asked twice. You both smiled against each others lips, kissing Sam was hardly ever hard but this time felt like you were catching up on all the time you missed.

He pulled away as his hands lifted your top from your head, you hadn't put a bra on the night before so you were left with nothing but your shorts. His hands went right to your breast and cupped them. He played with each nipple, you gasped into his lips. He then moved down as took one nipple in his mouth and sucked. Your back buckled and you pressed more against him, when his tongue circled the tip.

You bit your lip to hold in a moan, you throat aching with the affect. He let your nipple fall from his mouth with a pop and went back to your lips. You tugged at his shirt wanting to feel his skin against your own. He answered you wish by taking it off. You let your lips fall to his neck and kiss along his neck and down this chest. His hands were moving all over your body as you kissed all the skin you could get to.

you stopped abruptly when you heard someone try and open your door. You looked from each other to the door, which was still trying to be opened. "Sam! Open up" .

You swore and pulled your top back on and pointed for Sam to get his own on. It was useless to try and lie to Dean but here you were, pretending you were 5 minutes away from sex.

"Dean" You sung the door open and eyed him. He looked from you to Sam who was still in bed waving over to his brother.

"Caught you two at a bad time then" he laughed and walked in with out being asked. "donna said you had a plan".

You watch shut the door and sat near the window, you then explained everything to them. Dean seemed happy with the plan but Sam looked a little worried. " You're okay with being the bait?"

You shrugged, "Gets the job done, plus you guys and Donna have my back". You took out your phone to text Donna to come. "You two can go and get the stuff I need, while I get dressed".

"sure I speak for Sammy too when I say you don't have too" he winked, purely joking but Sam's cheeks still went red.

"very funning. Now get lose and do your bit"

-x-

You were pasting around the hotel room, picking up everything you'd need for the summoning spell, you knew that Dean, Sam and Donna were all outside waiting but you were still worried something could go wrong.

The spell was easy, only needed some dream rot, lamb's blood, bones and some of your own blood. Carefully you mixed everything together. Reading from one of the books you waited for the hag to show up.

The motel room was set up to look like you were trained enough for this hunt or any hunt. You made sure to hide your actual weapon and had just your gun to hand.

All you needed to do now was wait, ever since the Djinn had gotten hold of you, you had been scared hunting something you didn't know and this was the first night hag any of you had hunted. You were hoping it would be weaker during the day.

Nothing was happening until everything did. First the lights started to flicker, then the room went ice cold. You stood up and looked around the room for any movement. When you got to the far left corner you saw a fog beginning to form into a space. Your nerves took over and you shot at it. It moved faster than you thought, throwing itself at you.

You screamed when you hit the floor, head hitting a set of draws. Everything went out of focus, a face of an old lady was the first thing to become clear, before you could scream again she put her hand over your mouth.

The room went dark, when the lights in your mind came back on again you were in the same nightmare you always had but this time was different. Instead of Danny being there dead, it was Sam. This is what night hags did, they feed off your nightmares and here you were playing into its plan.

It took everything to pull out of the dream, there was the hag again now sat on your chest. Thankfully the gun was still in your grip, so you fired, praying the others would come.

You breathing went slack as she hit you with more power this time, now you were in the bunker. The lights red, your feet moved without being told . You stopped in a hallway it looked the same as the others did but this one had Sam's lifeless body on the floor. A sob overpowered you and knocked you down to your knees. You fell close enough at the blood that pooled around him wet you knees and hands.

You brought your hands to your face, even in the red lighting of the diner his blood was clear. It was just a dream, this is real. You repeated like a pray. The real Sam will save you soon, then everything will be okay.

The lights suddenly came back on, the blood was even more frightening. God you hoped this meant it was over, It had to end soon.

"Y/N! Wake up" a voice echoed through the empty halls. You could hear more background noise too, more voices. You suddenly tired , everything was melting away.

When you next opened your eyes Sam was staring down at you, you were once again in his arms. You let your head fall back with relief. "Oh thank God".

Sam smiled, "Did you doubt us?".

"No" you smiled, catching your breath. You looked around the room and saw Dean and Donna lent against one wall and a dead hag on the floor. "plan worked then".

"for the most part" Sam chuckled, "Apart from this" he pulled a strand of grey hair from your head. "Seems we were fast enough".

You felt the hair, you had read about people aging fast if the magic was strong enough but just a strand was weird. "I think I can pull it off". He only laughed and helped you stand, "You guys on clean up?"

"Like you said once, 'I did the kill so you do the clean up'" dean clapped his hands together.

You pouted your lips, "But I did the research and have grey hair now! At my age too". No one seemed to buy it. You rolled eye your eyes." fine. Can someone at least help me get her in my boot".

-x-

You stood alone with Sam just outside Stillwater. After everything was done, you and Sam left to have sometime alone. The both of you were lining against your car. The moment was so peaceful it felt wrong to ruin it with words. But what you needed to say felt right.

"You always save me" You kept your voice low, as to keep the moment small. "Like with Djinn you were in that crazy dream and remembering you made me realize that none of it was real". He reached for your hand and rubbed it in between his. "Then with the hag. My fear was you dead, my new worst fear. I used to think it was a weakness but I was wrong".

He waited before speaking. "What am I then?", he sounded so afraid of what you might say.

"we are only a weakness if I let it be one and I don't anymore. I want to be with you, I want the messy, I want the hard because easy never last" you face him and smiled. "We are far from perfect, but we are good".

"yeah. We are good" he smiled too and pulled you into his arms, you knew then that even with all the fear that this was where you belonged, in the arms of the man you love.

#spnquotebingo #snp #snp fic #snp imagine #spn imagine #fanfic #sam x yn #sam winchester x y/n #sam winchester imagine #sam winchester

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