#so I let them heal over

[creativesplat]

Stealing/ Affection: Link steals some time with Mipha after his death, and before his spirit rejoins his body in the shrine of resurrection.

#there was going to be a lot more of this but the general theme of this week is I had no time 😅 #and before his spirit rejoins his body in the shrine. #the idea that he coaxed her spirit out of her body one she was killed is a sweet one I think - maybe her spirit couldn't let go because she #wasn't able to admit defeat or she was trying to hold on so she could keep fighting or to see her father and Sidon and link one more time #but she was already dead and had no more strength to heal herself so link helps her 'cross over' as it were but is stopped halfway throug #? i guess because of the shrine. anyway it's not in Link's nature to leave his friends behind so I guess spirit link realised his fiancée a #d friends needed help (think the poe in ToTK) because the blights were holding them captive so he tries to help even though they've lost an #are all dead #because he's a hero and that's what he does #(and also he loves his fish and could never leave her when she needed help) #anyway some miphlink angst for y'all #but also hurt/comfort #because they both deserve it #I like to think they managed to steal a little more time together like Mipha had wanted #miphlinkweek2023 #miphlinkweek #miphlink #botw #mipha #link #ghosts #creativesplat draws #breath of the wild

[starmochu]

These two deserve some respite 🥺

#pls let them rest and be happy </3 #resident evil #serennedy #fanart #leon kennedy #luis serra #re4r #au where luis survives and leon dotes and fusses over him while his stab wound is healing <3 #and luis eats it up he lovesssss being the center of leons attention LOL #anyways. rn im drawing a short comic where luis gives leon a back massage 😏 #and ofc leon's touch starved ass is in heaven #i looooove being so unnormal about these two <3

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

Headcanon "deleted scene" from the Bad Batch finale because this is how I'm coping... Not my best writing but I'm still trying to get back into my best headspace so this is what I've got at the moment

Hunter: "Now we get to choose who we want to be."

Omega: "Like what?"

Hunter: "Whatever we want, kid. Whatever we want."

Omega [now leaning on Hunter's shoulder]: "I wish... I wish Tech could be here with us too."

Wrecker [glancing back at Omega as he tears up]: "Me too."

Hunter [with a small sigh]: "We all do."

Crosshair looks down, saying nothing - but if they could have seen his eyes, the regret would have said it all for him.

Omega [voice full of tears but still strong]: "But... it's like you said before, Hunter: Tech sacrificed himself, he gave us a chance, and we didn't waste it. And... he's happy for us. He knows we're all safe, and he's happy for us."

Hunter [hugging Omega]: "You've got that right."

Wrecker pats Batcher as the tears slide down his cheeks, but Omega's statement has brought a small smile to his face. Crosshair doesn't look up for a long time; Hunter notices, but knows it's not the right time to say anything - Crosshair will decide what he needs to do on his own.

Later, Crosshair goes to the archium. He can't cry - the aching emptiness is still far too deep for tears - and he momentarily thinks that facing Tantiss again was easier than this.

But Omega's words have finally started breaking down the near-impenetrable wall of guilt and regret.

Tech had given him a chance.

He will never, ever waste it.

He will not only stay with what remains of his family, but he will find a new purpose.

He reaches out to touch Tech's goggles - really acknowledging them and what they represent for the first time - and even though he finds he can't even speak, his mind and heart are full of just one feeling: "Thank you."

#i still think there's plenty of leeway to bring tech back in canon #and that would be the best thing ever #but in the meantime i need to let myself move on #and so i'm going to imagine all the healing and catharsis scenes that we were robbed of in season 3 #for the record i still love the show and what we did get in season 3 #which is why i'm still high-key obsessing over this #the bad batch s3 #the bad batch #the bad batch series finale #the bad batch spoilers #tech is and always will be with them in spirit

[greetings-humans]

rereading one of my fav mid-length codywan fics and skdjfskdfjsal;dfks my children my babies i love them they deserve the absolute best and if anyone ever tries to fuck over their happy ending i will throw hands and im a black belt so fuck you

#tbh im not really a violent person tho so I'm more likely to talk you to submission but a n y w a y s #also the fic is called “Love heals all wounds (so they say)” by K_R_Closson on ao3 #codywan #codywan recs #commander cody #obi wan kenobi #sw tcw #obi wan kenobi fic recs #fic recs #also yes ys canon fucked them over I'm aware BUT BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME I WOULDN'T THROW HANDS WITH GEORGE LUCAS OVER THEM #also let me live in my delusion they both survived and retired to fucking Kashyyyk or sth idk #obi trained luke via jedi face time / astral projection and the power he unlocked via darth vader duel was teleportation <3 #deelay words

[coquelicoq]

natsume's book of friends is the hurt/comfort show of all time. not necessarily for the characters, but for me as a viewer. it hurts me, deeply, emotionally, spiritually, and then it heals me, often in the exact same instant. not in the way where they cancel each other out, but in that way where you remain forever the person who was hurt and the person who was loved through the hurt. like okay. i am literally just Sitting Here. what the fuck. who came up with this. is that allowed

#who's loving me through the hurt? that's easy. it's me. i'm loving me through the hurt. #by watching and loving natsume takashi i am loving the me who was hurt by watching and loving natsume takashi #this show should come with a surgeon general's warning #natsume's book of friends #my posts #f #hurt comfort #natsume yuujinchou #not me taking severe psychic damage every time natsume alludes to the social skills he taught himself so that people would #simply continue to let him exist in proximity to them #and then also not me immediately being healed by the fact that he is thinking these thoughts while walking alongside his friends #his FRIENDS. he has friends now. i am being flash-frozen and roasted over a low flame simultaneously #natsuyuu meta

[moonilit]

Bunch of teams that i think are fun and been playing with lately just because talking about them making me excited and thats the point of this blog so:

Noelle burgeon team

(Non of these teams are supposed to teach you anything) I like Noelle, i actually like most healers so I really wanted a team of her that felt *to me* fun to play and her burgeon team is pretty fun, she is a healer, driver and shielder she is on 4p exile and a fav claymore, i get her burst before we are done one rotation and its so fun and feel freeing in a way, noelle feels so right for this team, and the burgeon dmg looks amazing lol (tried it once in abyss and got two stars but i play on mobile so idk if someone more pro can actually get all three)

2. Lisa vacuum cleaner

I Like lisa, actually every character i bothered making up teams for i do like so, but i like lisa especially i crowned her lol, its an aggravate team, but the release of Baizhu made her more fun to play, venti is much more fun than C0 kazuha especially in the overworld but if i want an effective dps lisa team it would be c2 kazuha or sucrose depending on who is available atm (with fischl ofc)

4. Keqing&Tignari team

Ngl the entire point of this team is working around no Miko in my account but still wanting to maximize tighnari team dps, And who would have thought these two would fit together :D!!

it works thanks to baizhu mwah mwah, with him both healing and shielding we are killing baby lets gooo quick swapping never been this quick swapping before

Honorable mentions go to Candace and my mistsplitter kaeya because hydro infusion, extra buff, extra dmg, nice blues etc etc i love them please send me suggestions to who else to add

Teams im waiting for hoyo to give me something for: more variations of wanderer teams because im dying here plz give me something new for him i don’t want broken dmg i want functioning funny, also double geo double electro team just because purple and gold look nice together like come on ppl!!? how are we still here-

#I apologize but pure geo teams do something to my teeth its like eating sands and i cant handle it #Noelle burgeon feel like im splashing colors all over a canvas and that do something positive to my brain its so fun #You need venti for vacuuming or the vacuuming isn’t vacuuming #I used to run dendro lumin and zhongli before baizhu came out #She can handle abyss if you want to run there #Noelle #lisa minci #genshin impact #I Should say Tignari hits his hardest when nahida is with him but lets be real nahida busy doing some else #And most importantly (to me) she doesn’t fit in his team like in my brain she doesn’t who would heal?? Kuki?? Absolutely not #Finding fun teams is like 80% of the fun of genshin for me so #I really like just throwing characters together and finding something fun #Liking a character as a character but not being able to find a fun team for them is hell #Why cant geo and electro benefit of each other yet and after all the lore we had?? #Im working on a heazou team he doesn’t really feel fun in almost anything it’s killing me because i love him #An aggravate team seems to have potential but im still stroking my chin about it just something missing… #Tignari #keqing #kaeya #candace #Baizhu #not because he have a special team but he is a special man in my heart who made so many teams fun #I should play his character story… #Thank you for coming to my ted talk and good night

[piecesofchess]

How many years do you think it'll take of the community telling KI that the Bedrest/Miracle Mitch mechanic is the single most hated thing about Pirate101, before they decide to finally remove it?

#miracle mitch #and everyone telling them that the life fountain was fine and they should let it heal like it used to? #because honestly. who would pay for miracle mitch instead of just logging off and not playing for a day #it's made players play less which im sure hurts the game over time #and no matter how 'cheap' you make mitch og players will remember that i was simply. free. to heal companions #i feel like this has been made so clear among the community but ki just refuses to remove it at this point? #rambling

[redfeathered]

#Guess who has to call the doctor's office tomorrow once more #Not for one of the big reasons that have been building up over the past months. #Not because I need to discuss the results of the hospital tests. No. #(because I still haven't managed to call the hospital to ask for them) #No because that fucking tick bite acts up 3 weeks after #And because my fucking finger refuses to heal at all... #So I've got to call again once more #Beating myself about it #Using all the energy leaving nothing for all the other important calls I've been procrastinating on... #Whyyyy irghh #I dont have the energy to do all of it #FINGERS CROSSED I can go there early in the morning and don't have to cancel work.. I know I know health is more important and all... #But I don't want to let the kids keep hanging #I've got some pretty unstable clients tomorrow... #tumblr is my diary and you can read along #I can already tell I wouldn't survive chronic pain that's not dull pain #It frightens me how much the two weeks of constant sharp pain is fucking with my head already

[8rujaa]

my therapist really saved me….

#tw abuse // tw sa #i can’t sleep bc i keep thinking about this. #like i probably would’ve not been here if it weren’t for her #i started seeing her january of 2023… my life has changed entirely since then and she was definitely the one who got the ball rolling #literally so much has changed since then and it’s all because of her #i was so dissociated during our first few sessions #thanks to her i was able to get diagnosed and medicated for adhd. i was able to realize i was in an abusive situation and plan a way out #i was able to focus on myself and my healing and she’s helped me reframe so much of my negative thinking #i was able to process a lot of emotions and become a better version of myself with each session #she’s truly incredible. #i remember the first comment she made about the relationship had been ‘’so it’s like there’s an imbalance of control in the relationship’’ #i had put my partners on such a high pedestal that i had no idea they could be doing anything wrong #and i asked her what she meant and she said ‘from what you’ve been describing it’s sounds like a strict parents and child type of dynamic’ #she told me they didn’t need to understand why i wanted to leave and they didn’t need to make that decision. if that’s what was going to be #best for me the only thing i could do is let them know my reasoning and simply leave. i didn’t need their permission.’’ #i remember being so confused at that realization bc like… i had been putting their emotions over mine the whole time i had forgotten simply #doing what’s best for me was an option… l #ever since then i’ve been putting myself first and it’s been a steady uphill from rock bottom… i’ve made an incredible amount of progress #when i first started with her getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was incredibly difficult and took all my strength. #yesterday i conquered a mountain!!!!!!! i hiked all the way to the top!!!!! :D #me a year ago thought it was going to take me years and years to recover. as soon as i left i made leaps of progress #im incredibly proud of myself and grateful for her. and my reiki lady she’s also been a great great help. #the silver lining is i realized who really matters. and the relationships i cared about deepened. #my sweet virgo friend was the one who was always like ‘THATS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO CANT UNDERSTAND BASIC CONSENT???’ #LMFAO i would be like ‘but he has trauma and bla bla bla’ she looked me dead in the eyes and said #’jess you said with your last boyfriend that you would never make excuses for a man who was hurting you again. stop defending him.’ #she’s really a gem and i treasure her with my life. i hope she knows i love her. she’s family at this point #she’s also literally saved my life before (like deadass called 911 for help) #im glad i had the support system i had. that was a rough situation with so many layers and im glad i got through it #my 22nd year of life was by far the worst of my life and i don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again. im glad i learned.

[capricioussun]

Question for void! What is your favourite outfit??

*He sounds nostalgic. The gift must have been from someone important to him.

#this is kinda ooc bc he wouldn’t really answer a question w/ smth this personal right out the gate BUT #I saw this in a vision and it made me emotional so I really wanted to do it anyways <3 #the friends shown are a dreemurr family from an au where monsters were never trapped underground and the monarchy was dissolved over time #they live on a big peaceful farm. Void crash landed in their au once and they helped him heal enough he could travel again. they told him #to come back and visit sometime and he convinced himself it was to repay their kindness w/ some sort of gift but he wound up visiting #multiple times after that. he sort of kind of has a rule against Just Because visiting AUs but it should be no surprise he winds up making #exceptions often lol #this sweater in particular meant a lot to him because chara and Asriel were so excited to give it to him bc Toriel let them help make it #anyway- #💕💜✨🌻 #alpacacare #tyyy for the ask ❕❕❕💚 #vf void #capricious skeletons #vesselfell #vesselfell papyrus #snow and hail

[navree]

Let's be honest, and I say this with full offense, Lucerys Velaryon is the Archduke Franz Ferdinand of the Dance of the Dragons. He is meant to be a sacrificial lamb to kick off the entire war proper. If we had gotten a full season of development with him like we did with the younger cast in Game of Thrones, I guarantee more people would've felt something. The only reason I personally feel bad is from a baseline level of empathy, because he was a child who was placed in an unwinnable situation due to his mom being completely irresponsible with him and his brothers.

However…

The comparison between Lucerys and Aemond is no contest. Love him or hate him, Aemond has an actual personality and goals when we first meet him. There's enough dimension in Aemond as a child to showcase the potential for sympathy between him and Jace at the funeral, a scene they didn't need to put in, but they did, which emphasizes his own innocence. Even before he breaks bad fully in S1E10, he's still far more compelling to watch due to the number of scenes allocated to him and his dynamic with other people.

This is where you and I are going to disagree just a bit, because Lucerys does do something in S1E07 and S1E08. He gouges out the eye of a family member and petulantly whines that he “didn’t do anything!” when confronted with the possibility of getting in trouble for it, then years later has the nerve and complete lack of sense to giggle at the person he permanently maimed only hours after his legitimacy was publicly called into question (again) and resulted in a murder. The narrative (perhaps unintentionally) glosses over these moments in favor of portraying him as good, whereas if you read between the lines, you can see that as being an oversimplification. The problem is that because S1 was truncated, secondary characters like Lucerys don’t receive screentime dedicated to portraying anything other than a single personality trait. Unfortunately, because of his role in the text and the way it was adapted for television, there was never a chance that Lucerys would be interesting.

I don't even have anything to add, this is just objectively correct.

#personal #answered #anonymous #and yeah lucerys refusing to take any responsibility or even show a hint of remorse for what he did is so galling to me #i could never care about him after that #like first of all you were in the wrong in the fight period #aemond did nothing wrong he claimed a free dragon who let him bond with her #i get why rhaena and baela were acting irrationally upset their mother died and they're young #grief makes you act weird #jace and luke had absolutely no reason to act the way they did #like it's not your fight and also again aemond literally did nothing wrong #but because he made a nasty comment after already being yelled at for doing nothing wrong y'all decide to gang up on him #with your cousins #and then this little idiot decides to take a whole knife to someone's face and refuses to ever feel bad #luke could have KILLED aemond #aemond could have DIED #not just from the immediate wound but also any issues that arose during a really long and arduous healing process #it's why fics with luke where he feels bad or contrite don't work for me #because he literally doesn't??? #he doesn't care at all #he doesn't care he almost killed a person for no reason and left them with lifelong issues as a result of his fuck up #out here kicking his feet and giggling over maiming another human being #again vhagar eating him was too easy #he should have gotten his eye poked out first anyway #literally only feel kinda bad for rhaenyra cuz i'm neutral leaning positive towards rhaenyra and losing a child hurts #luke himself can rot i feel nothing

[myersesque]

playing bg3 a lot lately!!! some highlights (act 1 spoilers):

wyll is lying unconscious on the floor. shadowheart runs over to help him up, slips in the grease, and lies on the ground in defeat. the camera immediately cuts away. i lose my shit laughing

astarion then proceeds to slip in that grease puddle THREE TIMES on his way out of the room

"watch this - astarion NEVER fails at lockpicking." (he proceeds to fail at lockpicking twice consecutively)

gale disengaging from an enemy so he won't immediately get squished like a bug. the enemy ignoring every other member of the party to charge at him full force and oneshot him into death

astarion being the only party member not to fail every fucking nature check and therefore ending up sounding like the world's snarkiest tour guide

ethel teleporting mayrina directly into my cloud of daggers at the end of the fight, not even bothering to move herself out of the cloud, so both of them died simultaneously and i had to reload

gale being restrained, put under a silence spell, and set on fire, making him essentially fucking useless and also killing him faster than anybody could get him unstuck because he is squishy and flammable

the entire party slipping on grease and falling down the stairs in PERFECT UNISON

me, my bf (in our co-op save), and karlach, accidentally triggering the ragzlin fight... then we realise astarion isn't anywhere on the initiative menu, nor is he in the room. i switch control to him real quick to discover he's having his own separate boss fight against priestess gut and like twenty goblins, the poor sod

my bf getting arrested for theft within maybe 20 seconds of entering emerald grove, whilst i was still stuck in dialogue and could do nothing to stop him. he then forgot to re-equip his gear after getting it from the prison chest, despite me reminding him a bajillion times, which led to some INTERESTING combat encounters

"well, astarion is doing okay!" an enemy runs up and throws astarion off a balcony, knocking off half his health. "...ok well he WAS-"

getting jumpscared by gale's laugh, courtesy of a timmask

accidentally destroying a bridge mid-fight! it did absolutely nothing to any of the enemies but it took out lae'zel AND shadowheart in one fell swoop

getting confused by the blessing effects looking simular to the blue circles used to show allies, and therefore letting astarion fire bolt shadowheart to death before realising, in a moment of quiet horror, what i had just done

wyll killing half the goblins by shoving them off balconies instead of actually fighting them lmaoooo

"wait, where the fuck are karlach and astarion?" (the answer is always "they forgot to jump ten minutes ago and i only just noticed, so they're in a cave halfway across the map")

#for the record. astarion and karlach r pretty much permanent members of my party #me and my bf's too bc we're romancing them lmao #occasionally i switch karlach out for lae'zel or wyll depending on the quest but it's usually karlach #then the third member is usually shadowheart but i've been bringing gale with me more lately #because i got an amulet that lets him cast healing spells so i no longer have any reason not to switch him in every now n then lmao #my tavs are a tiefling bard (solo) and a drow fighter (co-op) if any of u were curious #i'm up to the underdark in my solo game and rescuing halsin in co-op #but i know some shit from later in the game bc fixation is a bitch and youtube is free yippee #ok infodump over #og #baldur's gate 3 #bg3

[microfeelings]

I just had a rant (with myself) about the character of Mama Jones in 2003 and how she was reduced to "haha, she babies her son and is basically looking for a babysitter for him lol" and how much I HATED that! She lost her husband to a very violent attack (implied), Casey was involved in this (also implied but for the life of me I cant get the timeline straight), the store her husband had got burned. This woman should have heeps of trauma that she most likely buried deep because SHE HAD TO RAISE CASEY ON HER OWN (I guess its implied theres an uncle or auntie bc of cousin sid, but theres no mention of them so I can only imagined they fucked right off), and she got reduced to that?? Come on 2003 you can do better. I KNOW you can do better

(Extra info on the notes bc its mostly ranting and it wouldnt make sense on the main post)

#tmnt #tmnt 2003 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2003 casey jones #tmnt 2k3 #i hope this reaches the right audience #sometimes you have to leech onto an incredibly background character and say 'I can do better than them' #if theres one thing about me is I WONT LET A WOMAN LET ALONE A MOTHER GET DISRESPECTED LIKE THAT #add to that the possibility that casey has a traumatic brain injury? her attitude makes way more sense #shes incredibly overprotective of her bc hes the last thing she has #i mean casey probably got his ass kicked to next tuesday that day too #great now I need Splinter to have an extensive talk with her about the fact her overprotectiveness is just hurting his son #bc hes not the child that lost a father and probably had to spend time in the hospital (and everything that comes with a brain injury) #hes an adult thats actually doing pretty good independently and she needs to see that and let go to start healing her own trauma #man im emotional over this woman Ive fabricated in my mind LMAO #i would say i might write this but that would require me knowing how to do that so 👍 #oh man i make some pronouns mistakes in the tags lmao (he/him she/her casey and mama jones for the win i guess)

[gxlden-angels]

Christians will see a group of stressed college students and ask if anyone else is gonna make their stress worse and not wait for an answer

#Bro people are studying for finals and you're yelling about fuckin hell and repentance #like they really do target people in their most vulnerable state #one dude chased people down and asked if he could pray over them #if a fairly large man ran at me Id think 'please let this man kill me before I have to take this statistics final' not 'Pray for me' #also I find it funny they're like 'Jesus can heal you' like buddy I started using the cane while I was still a christian ya boy ain't shit #I use a cane walker and wheelchair depending on the occasion #And they either avoid me like the plague or rush to see who can trigger my religious trauma first #I had to walk directly next to the yelling dude to get to my car and the running dude ran past me this time #But he did start yelling about healing when he wasn't before so who knows #A college campus during finals is a pvp zone there is no holy protection here #also I taught my therapist about Kellogg's origins and he is horrified yet amused #ex christian #religious trauma

[torgawl]

it's been like 3 hours and i can't stop thinking about xiao and aether. you guys don't get it. it's the way the heart in qixing is likely referring to aether. it's because aether dedicated his poem and his dreams to xiao. it's because xiao smiled when he heard it. it's the way he's always looking out for aether. it's because even though everything was okay xiao made the effort to be vocal about how worried he was when aether pretended to drown. it's because aether is the only person capapable of persuading xiao, to the point others are aware he would do anything for him only and use it to convince him every chance they get. it's because aether is the only person capable of relieving the pain of xiao's karmic debt, not because of his powers but solely by being a part of xiao's life. it's because during the lantern rite instead of looking at the sky xiao looks at aether. it's because everytime they're together everyone else always comments about how close and fond of each other they are. it's because xiao is the only character aether is able to have alone time with without paimon. it's because as long as aether says his name xiao will always answer his call.

#I COULD GO ON #i'm not over their smiles #i will never get over their smiles #they actually look like they're in love #aether talked like wtf actually during a time limited event? out of nowhere? 😂 #TO SAY HIS POEM TO XIAO? #sorry but that's homosexual behaviour #okay i'll shut up now #but i love them so so much #i also saw leaks about this event and i know this will get even gayer so prepare for my screams on monday too bye shsjhsjs #okay but let me add the fact xiao is becoming more and more social and how traveller specifically encourages him to talk with others #and waiting for them to be alone to speak #xiao's growth being shown so well as time goes on throughout the game is one of my favourite things in genshin #i like when there's obvious care in telling a story and using time to emphasise it #i think it makes it so much more meaningful #and traveller being pointed out as the reason xiao is able to heal and grow is extremely beautiful #like no matter what their connection is just so pure and loving #something about being able to explore the world when you have a safe space to come back to #that's what xiao was lacking and that he now has with someone :')

[toastsnaffler]

everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too #things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄 #jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that #having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically #and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me #despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence #and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik- #she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh #and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space #and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she- #likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man #i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them #theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road #theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill- #finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me #old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc #anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included- #bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately #also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that #im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it.. #ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too #its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes #regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a #fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling #and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........ #sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!! #.diaries