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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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re: that ask you posted a couple days ago about the male and female representation in RWBY, part of what makes RWBY's whole 'girl power' thing ring exceptionally hollow to me is the fact that there are like... no women in positions of real power in remnant. like at all. except the big bad.

winter is second in command to james. glynda is second in command to ozpin. all of the headmasters are men (for no discernible reason, imo; why theodore and not dorothea?). the leader of the ace ops was a white man (and then winter seemed to take over clover's position instead of either of the women of color on the team, and she was still second to james). RWBY is an all girl team, but JNPR was led by a boy despite a girl arguably being far more qualified (pyrrha). the happy huntresses are all women, and robyn had no real power to speak of--she didn't even manage to win the election, because jacques rigged it, and then the council ceased to matter. there was one (1) woman on the council, but she was so inconsequential that i can't even remember her name. (i suppose we're lucky it was the guy and not her who james shot lol) jacques controls the SDC instead of willow, even though he's not even a schnee by blood and actually married into the family for power. (and we don't even know how he got it over his wife.)

and then there's the white fang, which ghira led and not kali--and it's ghira who leads menagerie itself, while kali seems to be a housewife. sienna had five minutes of screentime before being brutally killed and her position assumed by adam, a man. cordovin is basically a one off lackey we haven't even thought about before or since. neo was second to roman. you have cinder, sure, who is a second but to salem, a woman, and raven as the leader of the branwen tribe--but what does it really say about your 'girl power' narrative when the only women with genuine systemic power in your world are villains or antagonists with massive bodycounts??

atla has the same sort of problem--a couple great female characters, but all the leadership positions are men (except the kyoshi warriors, an all girls group, and even then the leader of their island is an old man) and the one female mentor figure also turns out to be evil--but it at least has some great writing to help overlook that fact, and it came out in the mid-00's and so has some sort of excuse of being a product of its time. but rwby didn't even start until 2013 and it's still going and still making these kinds of decisions well into 2021.

where is this supposed girl power, exactly? am i really supposed to overlook the very patriarchal worldbuilding just because the title characters are girls?

That's an excellent summary of the situation, anon, and as with so much in RWBY, it comes down to the full context. Any one of these examples isn't necessarily going to mean much on its own. It's when you look at the pattern that you can start making a case for those conclusions: Why is the show marketed on "girl power" set in a world where men hold the vast majority of that power? And, more importantly, why is that setup not the point? We could easily have a story where that lopsided gender dynamic is the problem that the girls are looking to fix, but... that story doesn't exist. Like the problems discussed with Jaune, the supposed point here exists only on the surface. Dig just the tinniest bit — the above — and you hit on a lot of structural problems with this "girl power" world.

To add just a few details to what you've already said:

Salem indeed has power, but she's never allowed to fully use it. Each volume the frustration with this grows as Salem accumulates more abilities and then just sits on them. From literally hiding out for a thousand years to worries that she won't use the Staff in Volumes 9-10, Salem really isn't allowed to be the threat she's presented as on the surface. And yes, this is absolutely due in part to the "She's too OP and the writers don't know how to let her be that powerful while still having the heroes win" issue, but again, context. That problem doesn't exclude others occurring simultaneously.

Same double explanation with Summer. Yes, dead moms are an incredibly common trauma to dump on a protagonist, but it still left Yang and Ruby with Tai as their primary influence. And Qrow. The uncle becomes the extended family influence while Raven is the absent one/eventual antagonist. It's personal power as opposed to political power, but Tai, Qrow, Ozpin, formerly James... most of the mentors are men. Maria, a key exception, has been ignored in that regard. The story announced that she was Qrow's inspiration, setup her being Ruby's new mentor, and then... nothing. Nothing has come of that. She disappeared for a volume and then went off to Amity and was literally forgotten by the story when evacuating everyone was the finale's whole point.

Like that Endgame moment I mentioned, the Happy Huntresses feel a little too forced to me. Yes, it's the same basic idea as in ATLA, but ATLA, as you say, has a lot more going for it. The Happy Huntresses feel... on the nose? Idk exactly how to explain it. Like, "Here they are! Another team of all women! Isn't this how progressive storytelling works? Just ignore how this is a one-off team of minor characters compared to the world building issues discussed above." And if you're not paying attention, you miss just how insignificant they are, with a side of Robyn being, well, Robyn. The Kyoshi Warriors, at least, are based off of Kyoshi. A woman avatar who is a significant part of their history. That is, presumably, why they're an all women warrior group (but who notably still teach Sokka). The Happy Huntresses are all huntresses because...? There's no reason except that meta "We want to look progressive" explanation. Just like having all the women superheroes team up for a hot second so people get excited and ignore the representation problems across, what? 21 films? Don't get me wrong, I love that May is among the Happy Huntresses. I think including her in the explicitly all-women group was one of the better things RWBY has done in a long time, but the rest is still a mess.

RWBY is arguably about these smaller groups as opposed to systematic power (despite the writers trying to work that in with things like the White Fang and the election. Not to mention the implication that everything in Atlas is fine now that evil Ironwood has died and taken the symbol of wealth (the city) with him. We saw a human holding hands with a faunus after all. Racism and corruption solved, I guess.) So yes, our group is dominated by women... but Whitley is the one saving Nora, helping to defeat the Hound (plus Willow), thinking of the airships, and providing the blueprints they need to escape. Salem is our Big Bad, except Ironwood is the one the volume focuses on. Ruby is our leader, but Jaune is the one leading the group into the whale and getting praised for how heroic he is. Ren does more to shake things up, even if he's painted as the one in the wrong. Oscar gets to confront Salem and destroys the whale threat. Ozpin provides the information they need to evacuate. Meanwhile, when the girls do things in Volume 8 it's almost always followed by a long-stint of passiveness. Nora opens the door so she can be unconscious for most of the volume. Penny keeps Amity up so she can also be unconscious for a good chunk of time. Ruby sends her message and then sits in a mansion. Blake fights so she can tearfully beg Ruby to save her. Weiss, as said, takes a backseat to Whitley (and Klein). They forward the plot, absolutely, but comparatively it doesn't feel like enough.

It's that pattern then, no one specific example. More and more the personal power, not just the systematic power already built into Remnant, seems to be coming from the men. Not all the time, but enough that scenes like the tea drinking moment feel like a part of a much larger problem. Pietro taking control, Watts hacking, and Ambrosius literally remaking her when Penny is supposed to already be in control of herself and her fate. Winter being presented as the active mentor to Weiss, only to turn around and claim that Ironwood was actually responsible for everything. Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and May straight up commenting on how awful things are out there while Yang, Jaune, Ren, and Oscar lead the charge against Salem — with the latter three doing the most to forward that mission (no fear, semblance, cane). As others have only half-joked, Yang's supposedly badass moment was bringing up a mother she's ignored for six volumes and briefly blowing up the immortal woman for a couple of seconds (with Ironwood's bombs). Even Marrow is arguably the most significant Ace Op after Clover. Vine isn't actually a character, Elm slightly less so, Harriet is there to go crazy and try to drop a bomb (notably before admitting to never-before-existed feelings for Clover), but Marrow? He's the one who breaks out. Who is meant to heroically stand up against Ironwood. Who comments on how awful it is that teenagers are fighting and, regardless of how messed up the moral messages are, is supposedly pushing for active change while all the women in his group, including Winter, insist on maintaining the status quo. Look at all these choices as a whole, it makes throwaway worldbuilding choices like "All the Maidens are women" feel pretty hollow. Why does it matter if Amber is a Maiden if she dies in a flashback so Ozpin can struggle to pass on the power? If Pyrrha dies before becoming one so Jaune can angst about it? If Raven is one and then disappears from the story entirely? If Winter has enough power to break Ironwood's aura, but supposedly had no power throughout every other choice she made getting here? If Penny is one, but is continually controlled by men and then asks another man to help her die? It's just really unconvincing, once you look past the surface excitement of a woman looking cool with magic powers.

When you do consider the whole of the story — both in terms of our world building and who is forwarding the plot in the latter volumes, getting the emotional focus, being proactive, etc. — there are a lot of problems that undermine the presumed message RT wants to write. They say, "girl power" by marketing RWBY with these four women, but too many of the storytelling decisions thoroughly undermine that, revealing what's likely a deeply ingrained, subconscious bias.

#rwde #rwby #mymetas

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ohheyitsyouagain · 2 years

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HOOO BOY.

everyone, I would like to introduce you to my newest project/au: Furry Emblem. it’s exactly what it sounds like. each of the classes is a different type of animal - the black eagles are birds, the blue lions are cats (their designs will probably come next!), and the golden deer are ungulates. yes, that leaves out a few characters, but... eh, whatever. I’ll figure it out as I go.

(this is all a very elaborate way of saying I hate drawing humans and would rather draw anthros. also I’m a furry.)

anyway, extra design details/commentary under the cut for anyone who wants it:

some general stuff first:

this is the first time I’ve drawn these characters, birds or not, and jesus christ I didn’t realize how complicated their outfits were. I simplified them pretty heavily, since I actually plan on drawing these more and I don’t want to agonize over every pin and tassel every time.

and somehow, they still feel too messy. oh well.

none of them wear shoes! this is purely a personal thing. I can’t handle animals wearing shoes, and I cannot explain why.

Dorothea and Ferdinand both change a little over the timeskip, other than the stuff that happens in the game. I thought it would be fun to draw them a bit like juveniles, even if they’re basically adults by this point.

this only means something to people who’ve seen my bird art before, but I’m drawing them a little different than the ducks I usually draw! it’s most obvious in the beaks and hands.

tiny detail: Ferdinand, Edelgard and Hubert’s fingers are rounded because they’re wearing gloves.

those three are also the only ones with talons, because they’re the only predatory birds. you may think I had something deep and meaningful in mind with this, but no, it’s just a coincidence.

yes, these are all their canon heights.

I have no idea if I’ll make a proper sheet like this for the timeskip designs. it would be nice to have all of their heights on hand, but also... do you have any idea how exhausting it was to make this. I don’t think I’d go through this again just for some new hair and outfits.

okay, now for the character-specific stuff! gonna go from left to right with these.

Caspar

blue jay

he was the easiest species to decide on, next to edelgard.

trans of gender, lucky for him blue jays have zero sexual dimorphism aside from a size difference (most people think he’s just short).

probably the most realistic as far as colors go.

Dorothea

rose robin

after the timeskip, her chest turns pastel pink.

ignore that she has two toes. it’s... complicated, alright. pretend she has three.

Ferdinand

white-tailed eagle

“if he’s a white-tailed eagle why isn’t his tail white” only adults have white tails!

Ferdinand falls victim to what I liked to call the “fried chicken conundrum.” meaning that if you make his feathers too dull, it looks grey or brown instead of orange, and if you make it too bright, it looks like... well, fried chicken. I think I managed to find the middle ground, though.

a friend and I genuinely got into a debate on whether or not he wears a skirt. we concluded that he definitely doesn’t, but I’m going to continue to pretend that he does and draw him wearing one. (mostly out of spite. sorry ashe.)

Edelgard

bald eagle

she was the very first character I figured out the species for, way back in 2019 when I first played. this was before I knew Why she had white hair, but whatever, it still works.

she gets off easy in this because white is a perfectly natural color on a bald eagle, so no one really questions it. of course, they changed colors way earlier than most, but not many people know that.

Hubert

crested caracara

you guys have no idea how it felt to be looking at birds and going “holy SHIT that’s a Hubert”

apparently, when caracaras are with their mates, they’ll sometimes throw their heads back and just... cackle. take that as you will.

crested caracaras have a lot of exposed orange skin on their faces, and I swear to you that I tried to make it work, and it just... wouldn’t. so please ignore that discrepancy.

I was debating giving him a browner head and only making it black after the timeskip, since juvenile caracaras are brown instead of black. but he’s already, like, 20, so his adult plumage probably would’ve come in by now anyway.

Linhardt

arfak catbird

coming up with his species took the longest. unfortunately for me, birds aren’t a fan of sleeping, so I couldn’t even google “birds that sleep all day” for an easy choice. but cats sleep a lot, right? bird? catbird? good enough.

catbirds meow. that’s not relevant to anything I just think it’s funny.

Bernadetta

gambel’s quail

yeah I don’t really have anything to say about her.

Petra

indian peafowl

honestly, her design infuriates me a little because peacocks are blue, not magenta. but Petra’s hair is magenta, and it doesn’t have to be completely biologically accurate... I’ll learn to live with it.

Petra braids her tail, just like her hair, because otherwise it would drag for like, four feet behind her. using Tangled strats.

“I thought only male peafowl had the fancy tails” that’s what we call the trans of gender baby!!

her tail was a bitch to color. it was hard to get across the splendor of “HOLY SHIT A PEACOCK” while also being easy to draw. so now it’s cotton candy.

#fire emblem three houses #black eagles #caspar von bergliez #dorothea arnault #ferdinand von aegir #edelgard von hresvelg #hubert von vestra #linhardt von hevring #bernadetta von varley #petra macneary #furry emblem #fe #d.png #first art of 2022 wooo!

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thetwstwildcard · 3 years

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hehehehe which of my ocs would your ocs hate the most? >:3c (If it’s too many just limit it to like my wna girls and your main 7 bc. favouritism)

You forced me to read, you're lucky I love ya cause if not I wouldn't do this (jk) 🧡

Kiara would definitely hate Lauren

Soft spoken and struggles to convey her thoughts? Kiara would be baring fangs before she even finished a sentence "Just speak, worthless herbivore!!!". As a girl who was also born only to better her parents social status and will be forced into a loveless marriage to better their status more, Lauren's romantic idea of love and prince charming would piss her off (doesn't help her "prince" experience is Leona). Not to mention she'd hate a "cutesy" flower nickname

Nasira would hate Dorothea

She's far too energetic for the seamstress's like. Nasira likes to stay on one topic and elucidate. Nasira can put up with Kalim as it is her job, however others who share his personality are not as lucky. Her "jack of all trades" would bother Nasira as she traded away basically half of her lifespan for magic, while Dorothea seems to take her talents for granted. With how Nasira is I can see her finding Dorothea draining (and the girl is already almost permanently tired from the curse draining her life daily)

Lyss would be grumpy with Mallory

Lyss is probably my most chaotic oc, being tainted by blot and having pacts with demons just adds to her chaotic nature. So to deal with someone who's paranoid of the paranormal would annoy her. I can see her even going out of her way (in good fun on her end) to cause more paranormal bad stuff to happen. Lyss would just scare the poor girl constantly by being herself and she'd get annoyed

Veil would despise Priscilla

Envy and jealousy turned to loathing? Yep. To be a monstrous merfolk and yet be considered loved and beautiful while Veil was scarred and isolated for just existing? Oh she'd hate her. I can see her thinking Priscilla is just playing a part to be liked, while even when Veil tries to be helpful people are afraid of her. While obviously people can be afraid of Priscilla's monster form, Veil's monstrous features show even when she's in a human appearance with snake fangs showing when she's mad. Veil does not care who she hurts when fully in her merform so to know Priscilla is aware of what she does and is conscious of her behavior would bother Veil. A "just be a monster, stop trying to be liked!!! They'll.... Never like who we are anyways..."

#twst oc #twisted wonderland oc #oc #twstoc #kiara sarabi #nasira salim #veil aecor #lyss carriedo

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hermionegranger56 · 3 years

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a v late recap of evermore

so i think Taylor Swift sensed that i was Going Through It and was like here you sad bitch, here’s another surprise album to help fix all that. cause good lord evermore is just what i (and i think we all) needed. i truly TRULY can’t believe we’re lucky enough to get a sister album to folklore, i love it so much. the first day it was out i drove myself 2 hours to the very end of the Cape and sat on an empty beach and cried to it and honestly??? magical. here are my thoughts on it that no one asked for:

first, as an overall here, this album complements folklore so well. it’s the spring to folklore’s autumn, it’s self-assured and warm and beautiful. each album shows off her lyrical genius so well and she only grows stronger here. when folklore came out, i was floored because the music was so different for her and so up my alley. each song’s production sucked me in and it was like she was confidently telling us “here is another genre i can work with” (masterfully at that). evermore feels different. it feels like Taylor is so comfortable in this creative space, she isn’t trying to fit into any new molds or expectations, she is just HERE, now, saying “this is who i am and this is my craft”. it’s really been a privilege to watch her grow as an artist. ok. here we go

willow:

god the video was so beautiful, a really good continuation of cardigan. the chorus is so so delicate and prettyyy, thats MY MAN ughhh its so good. it reminds me a lot of invisible string tbh, or if betty from cardigan grew up and found love. this is really one of my favorites, she starts so strong

fave lines: “the more that you say, the less i know/ wherever you stray I follow/ i’m begging for you to take my hand/ wreck my plans, that’s my man”; “life was a willow and it bent right to your wind”

champagne problems:

oh dear god, it’s if all too well and new years day had a baby and it is a MASTERPIECE. i can picture it all, college sweethearts, broken hearts, i feel like its new england at christmas, ivy league old money…its cinematic. and it gets at the feeling like you’ll never be good enough so you leave before that happens (basically before you get to the tolerate it stage??) and OOF. AND GODDAMN THE RANTING BRIDGE (illicit affairs came close on folklore but i think THIS might be the best bridge since All Too Well). I’ve screamed it a lot tbh

fave lines: BRIDGE BABYYYYYY EVERY SINGLE PERFECT WORD. WHAT A SHAME SHES FUCKED IN THE HEADDDD

gold rush:

this one is bright and lovely and catchy!! it reminds me a lot of mirrorball tbh, all like swirly and magical. i can’t even put it into words but i can see this one so clearly. its all rosy and golden

fave lines: “eyes like sinking ships on waters/ so inviting, i almost jump in”; “what must it be like to grow up that beautiful?/with your hair falling into place like dominoes/ I see me padding across your wooden floors/ with my Eagles t-shirt hanging from your door”; “the coastal town we wandered round/ had never seen a love as pure as it”; “my mind turns your life into folklore”

’tis the damn season:

UGH I FUCKING LOVE THIS ONE EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES ME WANNA TEXT MY EX. the melody is SOOOO satisfying, the progression to “write this down”, i’m obsessed. the idea of being home for the holidays and feeling a little lost and tired and nostalgic for what could have been is something superrrr relatable. this song reminds me of snowy drives around my hometown in the best/worst possible way hahah. one of my top 5 for sure.

fave lines: “we could call it even/ you could call me babe for the weekend/ tis the damn season, write this down/i’m staying at my parents house/ and the road not taken looks real good now”; “and wonder about the only soul/ who can tell which smiles i’m faking”

tolerate it:

oh honeyyyyy this track 5 packs a punch, i mean the lyrics are absolutely BRUTAL in the best way. it’s just so sad, and encompasses a lot of my own insecurity about always feeling like you’re more invested in a relationship and watching someone fall out of love or just stop caring. i LOVE the “my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it”, like bitch YES your love should be celebrated. also taylor sounds angelic on the “I” at the start of the chorus

fave lines: “i know my love should be celebrated/ but you tolerate it”; “i made you my temple, my mural, my sky/ now i’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life”; “what would you do if I/break free and leave us in ruins/ took this dagger in me and removed it”

no body, no crime:

YESSSSSSSSS I LOVE THE SUBGENRE OF COUNTRY ABOUT WOMEN KILLING SHITTY HUSBANDS AND THIS SONG IS SO FUCKING GOOD AHHHHH!! I LOVE the beat, i love country taylor, i love the addition of HAIM. UGH ITS SO CATCHYYYY, like i’m obsessed with the slide from “i think he did it but i just. can’t. prove itttttt NOOO no body no crime” UGHHH this is without a doubt in my top five

fave lines: “she thinks i did it but she just can’t prove it”

happiness:

I heard this one described as an emotional marathon and holy shit it is, each line is a sucker punch. i really like how it feels like a conversation and looks at the acceptance and pain that mingle together when a relationship just…ends. her lyrics are unmatched on this album but this is a particularly strong track

fave lines: “i haven’t met the new me yet”; “when did all our lessons start to look like weapons/ pointed at my deepest hurt”; “there is a glorious sunrise/ dappled with the flickers of light/ from the dress i wore at midnight”

dorothea:

this one feels like Betty 2.0 and its so sweet and bright and also kinda sad. it’s wistful!! that’s the word i want, wistful! the vibe is gives off reminds me of Red, like musically. it’s home-y. idk if that makes sense but i like it a lot

fave lines: and if you’re ever tired of being known for who you know/ you know, you’ll always know me”

coney island:

ugh this one is magical, i honestly really love the instrumental to this one, it’s so soothing. the lyrics to me feel like you’re in some dream state, going through every heartbreak you’ve ever been through. I love the addition of The National, the vocals fit together so well (and I like it better than both Bon Iver features i think??)

fave lines: do you miss the rogue/ who coaxed you into paradise and left you there/ will you forgive my soul/ who you’re too wise to trust me and too old to care?”

ivy:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (that’s how i feel about this absolute masterpiece oh my GOD) it makes me so incandescently happy, the folk feel, the lyrics that are so cinematic and poetic and paint such a clear picture (to me) of two Victorian lovers who are in unhappy marriages but don’t let that stop their love. the chorus just like….fills my whole chest, the OH GODDAMN hits so different. and i want “my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand” tattooed on me, that is one of her BEST lines and i will die on that hill. its all so pretty, i can’t deal. the vibe also strongly reminds me of a) invisible string and b) Little Women (2019). i think taylor should do folk and uhhhh only folk please

fave lines: EVERY WORD BUT ESPECIALLY: “i’d meet you where the spirit meets the bone/ in a faith forgotten land”; “oh goddamn/ my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand/ taking mine, but its been promised to another/ oh, i can’t/ stop you putting roots in my dreamland/ my house of stone, your ivy grows/ and now I’m covered in you”; “he wants what’s only yours”; “clover blooms in the field/ springs breaks loose, time is near“; ”so yeah, it’s a fire/ its a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it”

cowboy like me:

ALL RIGHT everyone sleeps on this song but oh my GOD its so good!! it’s smooth and dreamy and gives me that old fashioned, bonnie and clyde type love story and some of the lyrics are so poetic. I really love the addition of the Tim McGraw chords too???? BUT DEAR GOD COULD WE HAVE GIVEN MARCUS MUMFORD MORE OF A ROLE HERE??!! HE SOUNDS WONDERFUL, GIVE HIM A FEATURE, GIVE HIM A WHOLE VERSE. THIS IS A FOLK ALBUM TAYLOR, USE FUCKING MUMFORD AHHHH (i fucking love him omg)

fave lines: “dancin’ is a dangerous game”; “you’re a bandit like me/ eyes full of stars”; “now you hang from my lips/ like the Gardens of Babylon/ with your boots beneath my bed/ forever is the sweetest con”

long story short:

A BOP!! GIVE ME SOME HAPPINESS TAYLOR WOO! I really love how catchy this one is. it feels like her introducing the craziness of her life to joe and being like look all of that was tough but here i am now and I couldn’t be happier. It’s refreshing, self-deprecating and endearing. I couldn’t love it more and it is ALWAYS stuck in my head!

fave lines: “and he’s passing by/ rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky”; “long story short I survived”

marjorie:

ha hahah hah ha this one ENDS me, like dear LORD i need to call my grandma immediately. it is so so GOOD and SAD, like the you don’t know how good something or someone is until they’re gone, but even then, they’re still there with you. I love the grandma wisdom of “never be so clever you forget to be kind” etc. and holy SHIT the addition of Taylor’s grandmother’s opera singing as background vocals is GENIUS AND DEVASTATING, god the part where she goes “i’d think you were singing with me now” and then Marjorie comes in is honestly one of the most beautiful musical moments i’ve heard in a hot minute and it breaks me every time. wow.

fave lines: “never be so polite/ you forget your power/ never wield such power/ you forget to be polite”; “the autumn chill that wakes me up/ you loved the amber sky so much”; “and if i didn’t know better/ i’d think you were singing to me now”

closure:

ok i’m sorry, this is my only skip here. I really do love the lyrics and the idea of, yeah no you don’t deserve closure from me. i just can’t get past the pots and pans beginning, its too chaotic. but i’m sure it’ll grow on me! it does feel like finally moving on and i do love that about it

fave lines: “don’t treat me like/ some situation that needs to be handled”; “i know i’m just a/ wrinkle in your new life/ staying friends would/ iron it out so nice”

evermore:

god her voice is SO soothing in this one, it’s literally hypnotic. the song itself feels wandering and dark at first, like you’re stuck in this depression, and then bon iver comes in and it picks up and it feels like coming out of the trees, into the sunlight and finding your way again. finding that the pain WOULDNT be for evermore like she says. it feels like an ending and a beginning. beautiful

fave lines: “writing letters/ addressed to the fire”; “and when i was shipwrecked/ i thought of you/ in the cracks of light/ i dreamed of you”; “and i was catching my breath/ floors of the cabin creaking under my step/ and i couldn’t be sure/ i had a feeling so peculiar/ this pain wouldn’t be for evermore”

#taylor swift #evermore #tswift #evermore album #willow #champagne problems

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mercy-burning · 3 years

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thank you @wheelsup for tagging me!! ily ❤

get to know you tag game!

ten favorite characters from ten different things (book, tv, film, etc.) (these are not in any particular order, and i know for a fact i’ve missed a lot, but here’s what’s off the top of my head lol) 1. spencer reid (a given, i don’t think i even needed to say it lol) 2. nick miller (new girl) 3. lorelai gilmore (gilmore girls) 4. mabel pines (gravity falls) 5. don west (lost in space) 6. evie covington (no tomorrow) 7. castiel (supernatural) 8. john wick (john wick film franchise) 9. grace le domas (ready or not) 10. sydney sage (bloodlines series by richelle mead)

nickname - mercy, not sure if there’s any nicknames to be made from that tbh

zodiac sign - leo sun, scorpio moon+rising

height - 5′1

hogwarts house - slytherin

last thing i googled - the show ‘normal people’, a friend told me about it and so i wanted to look it up

song stuck in my head - ivy, taylor swift (specifically “YEAH, IT’S A FIRE, IT’S A GODDAMN BLAZE IN THE DARK AND YOU STAAAARTED IT”)

followers - last time i checked i’d just past 1.5k (whaaat??)

amount i sleep - between 7-9 hours? sometimes 6 depending on how late i stay up

lucky number - i don’t believe i have one

dream job - an author tbh

wearing - grey pajama shorts and a lover album t-shirt

favorite song(s) (I have many, but i’ll list some that are the most meaningful to me, again i know i’m missing a whole bunch but these are off the top of my head) 1. house of cards by caitlyn smith (my favorite song of all time) 2. dorothea by taylor swift (soul-cleansing and warm as hell) 3. cigarettes by the wreckers (”someday maybe somebody will love me like i need and someday i won’t have to prove all my worth, but until then i’ll do just fine on my own” - enough said) 4. out of the blue by katie pruitt (go listen to it immediately, it’s everything i love about music encapsulated into one song) 5. 20 years by the civil wars (the whole barton hollow album is spectacular, but this song specifically just hits the spot)

favorite instrument - idc if it’s basic, electric guitar. just watch taylor swift play an electric guitar and you’ll see what i mean oOF

random fact about me - i refuse to use any other chap-stick besides the candy cane flavor, and i always have to buy them in bulk once the holiday season comes around because they’re only seasonal lol

favorite authors - victoria/v.e. schwab is fantastic, i will read anything she puts out

favorite animal noise - ahahaa i love this question. um.. maybe when cats do that ‘ekekek’ chirping thing? yk what i mean, right? lol

aesthetic - oh boy i’m all over the place, but currently it’s just graphic tees and sweatpants lol. my dream aesthetic, though, is cottagecore, but like subtle cottagecore, with pretty floral cardigans and embroidered shirts and stuff

favorite color - olive/sage green, lavender, pale pink, brown/gold/pale yellow/beige/etc. (i know that’s hella specific but i hope you get it lol)

last film i watched - john wick ch 3, it was a rewatch. fun fact! john wick is my favorite film franchise, i will never tire of watching keanu reeves kick ass lol

last tv show i watched - i threw on an episode of stranger things while i cleaned my room up this morning

last thing i texted - a heart emoji to my mom :)

sweet, spicy, or savory - sweet&salty mix is my absolute go-to, but generally savory

pets - a calico cat named harley. she’s a pain in the ass but she’s beautiful lol

TAG 3 MUTUALS YOU WANNA GET TO KNOW BETTER: @reidyoulikeabook @willowrose99 @ssa-m-187 (no pressure though!)

#mercy tags

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jovialyouthmusic · 3 years

Text

Past Times

I have spent some time writing and rearranging this chapter - so much so that when it went way over 4K I realised that it would be better to split it into two shorter chapters. Recent interest in Netflix’s Bridgerton has brought a lot of interest to this period.

I must make some comment about Regency costumes as I understand it from various articles I’ve read. I’m perfectly happy to be told I’m wrong, but I’m not trying to be super accurate, just have a little fun. Knickers or drawers were most probably not worn, as these became more popular in Victorian times (most likely split crotch to make it easier to go to the bathroom). This sounds kind of impractical, but they still wore long chemises and petticoats, and well born young ladies probably had many such garments that were regularly washed for them. Corsets were not quite as restrictive as later times, but they still pushed the bust up and put it on show, particularly in the case of fancy ballgowns - after all, at a ball, young ladies were trying to attract a husband.

I chose to set my fic in Scotland, but again it’s not terribly authentic, as rather than Dukes and Earls there would have been Lairds and the various clans. However, society in Edinburgh may have been a little more like London - and - my fic, my AU! Also there is a lot written about Regency England, and not so much about Scotland unless you want to go delving into Sir Walter Scott’s novels - and maybe I will sometime soon.

As I’ve probably made all too obvious, most well born young women had no sex education at all, and may have relied on romantic novels (which were in their infancy, but they were available) and perhaps observing animals. They were kept in ignorance so that they would be innocent and unsullied on their wedding night.

Word count 2638

A/N This chapter is a little suggestive rather than explicit. Basically the first part concerns the MC undressing whilst wondering what her wedding night will be like, and in the second part she asks a married friend all of her burning questions, and gets some frank answers. No under 18s please.

12a Underwear and Undercurrents

It was but a few minutes before Lizzie had gone upstairs with Morag, checked on her sister and retired to her room with a candle. She kicked off her slippers and went to her dressing table to unfasten and brush her hair. She had told Jane that she would undress herself that night, and reached to the back of her dress to fumble with the lacing. It was not easy, but it occurred to her that she should not be helpless, always depending on a maid to dress and undress her.

She wondered what might happen when she was wed at last and alone on her first night with her husband. Surely the very first thing she might do was to undress. Would she do that in private, or would John be present? Would she undress herself, or would he assist her? Would she slip into bed in her nightgown or would other things happen? The thought sent her pulse racing as the laces loosened and she pushed her dress smoothly off to step out of it elegantly.

She hung her dress up carefully, wondering if on the night it would lay forgotten and discarded on the floor. She stood facing the looking glass in the dim candlelight in her chemise, corset, petticoat and stockings with a critical eye. If she were to undress herself, perhaps John would watch her, she thought with a thrill. Who should disrobe first? Would he take his clothes off himself, or would he ask her to assist? She knew little of the morning dressing routine of gentlemen or of what they did when retiring for the night, but John had a manservant - surely he assisted some of the time?

Perhaps she should practice for the instance of having no maid to assist her, and presume that John would be present and watching. Pushing down the flutter in her belly, she paid it her full attention. She should be graceful and poised – no stumbling or fumbling with strings, bows or buttons, no grimace at any mistake, major or minor. She should not appear too coquettish or unladylike. What should come next after her dress?

‘Stockings’ she whispered to herself. She pulled up her petticoat and ran her fingers along her legs to peel the first elegantly down. Her breath hitched as she brushed her thighs and bit her lip in concentration. When both were removed, they were hung on the back of a chair, leaving her in her stays, chemise and petticoats, and again she contemplated what to do next.

‘Off with the stays’ she muttered. The one she wore that day was not the tight laced corset that underlay her best and finest gowns, but not as soft as one she might wear at home on a warm summers day. She would not have had a chance of getting out of her formal wear unaided, and she still had to contort herself a little to remove what she wore that night. There was no way she could do it elegantly without a great deal of practice, she thought, but perhaps John would aid her, should she need him to do so. That thought made her feel a little hot, and she took a deep breath.

She reached around awkwardly to unfasten the laces and sighed in relief as she was able to let it drop over her hips and step out of it. She still wore her loose chemise and petticoats. What next? That was easy, for she could not imagine standing before John without her petticoats. She elegantly removed and folded her chemise, putting it aside with her other garments. She stared at herself in the mirror, breasts bare, and could not help but blush. She shook her head. Why should she be ashamed of her body? She was sure John would appreciate her, whatever shape she had. After all, he had been married before and had assured her that his previous wife had enjoyed being intimate with him. She was not entirely sure whether to be grateful that he had experience, or to worry that she would not measure up to expectation, but she put that aside for now.

She took a deep breath and unfastened the drawstring on her petticoats, which fell easily to the floor, leaving her naked. She looked at herself in the mirror, turning round in the flickering light. She realised with a shock that she had never done so before. Her girlish straight lines were developing into the curves of a woman, and she felt as if she looked at a stranger. Her breasts were small and rounded, her waist slim with a little softness about her belly. She had coarse black hair at her mound, her buttocks were round and firm, her legs strong and slender, her ankles trim and her feet delicate. She frowned as she realised that she knew little of what would come next, and her imagination could not fill in the blanks beyond kissing and touching each other as they already had. She could barely picture what John’s appearance without clothes would be, beyond having seen bare chested labourers in the fields around the family farm. She was not even sure if what came next would occur in bed or out of it.

Sighing heavily, she bent to pick up and fold her petticoats, and went to the bed where her nightdress lay ready for her. She slipped the garment over her head and pushed her arms through the short puffed sleeves. The hem of the long cotton garment fell to her ankles, and she blew out the candle and threw back the bedcovers to climb in and draw them over her, certain that it would take some time to fall asleep. She lay on her back and stared at the ceiling for a while, but before long she lay on her side, curling into a ball to imagine herself held safe in John’s arms, and fell deeply asleep in an instant.

------

The following day was warm and bright, and after breakfast she and John went out for a walk, accompanied by Tom and Dorothea, and Amelia tagged along. Before lunch they went back in to play cards and practice playing the piano, for more guests were to arrive the following day, and after that there was to be a ball to introduce her to the local nobility.

After they had taken their luncheon, Sir James, John and Tom declared they would go out shooting game. Dorothea drew Lizzie aside and proposed a walk alone with her. She agreed readily, and the two women set off outside, leaving Amelia and Lady Charlotte to keep Lady Margaret company. The afternoon was overcast but still warm, and Elizabeth wore a simple pale blue dress and matching bonnet, should the sun come out and threaten to redden her complexion.

‘My dear Lizzie, it comes to my mind that you have no older sisters’ Dorothea said ‘Do you have any married friends to hold confidence with?’

‘I fear I do not. My closest acquaintance has but recently acquired a beau. She will be here for the Ball and I look forward to seeing her. I’m sure you will like her.’ she replied as they strolled through the rose garden.

‘Perhaps I may, but I was thinking that I can be your confidante and answer any questions you might have about married life’ she smiled ‘I was lucky to have good advice to prepare me for my wedding night, but not all are so fortunate’ Elizabeth grew wide eyed.

‘That would be most welcome. Mother has told me little, and although John has revealed a few details to me, I would hear from one of my own sex as to some particulars. My previous fiancé did not so much as hold my hand before I discovered his unsuitability.’ The two women came to the little arbour where she had stopped to kiss John only a day or so ago, and they sat together, shielded from prying eyes and ears.

‘Please Lizzie, ask me anything, do not be shy. And Call me Dottie, if you will’ Elizabeth felt a rush of gratitude and tried to marshal the many questions that flooded her mind. She frowned in concentration.

‘Well Dottie, John says to me that there are ways of ensuring that we will not have children straight away, but it puzzles me. I dare not tell him that I know not what causes the bearing of children’ Dorothea nodded sagely.

‘It is so for many genteel ladies. We are prevented from being alone with men outside our family, and many mothers feel it indelicate to go into details.’ Dottie assured her. ‘The lower classes are much more informed than we, for they do not have estates to pass down to their heirs and bloodlines do not matter to them’

‘But lowborn and highborn alike, we all bear children. How does it come about?’ Dotty took Lizzie’s hands in her own and squeezed them gently.

‘Let me first say that you are fortunate, my dear. You have a treasure in John. He clearly loves you, and he is a considerate and honourable man. You may have seen young women of your acquaintance married off to older richer men’ She grimaced in distaste. ‘In some cases, a man cares only about his wife bearing him an heir and ignores her feelings and sensibilities’

‘Of course I know something of that.’ Elizabeth replied ‘I had a cousin who married a Lord some twenty years her senior. She bore him a fine boy, but a year later died in giving birth to a girl. It scares me to think of her passing so young.’

‘That is a danger, to be sure. I have been married a year now, and my mother constantly asks when I will come to be with child. We have tried, but so far have not been successful. I am not sure whether it is a blessing or not’

‘So you have tried? May I ask...’

‘Of course, I was coming to that. Lizzie, may I ask you something personal?’

‘Naturally, Dottie. I have asked you to be frank, so I must be also’

‘Do you – touch yourself when you are alone in your bedchamber?’

‘I – I am not sure what you mean.’ Lizzy felt herself grow hot with embarrassment.

‘Before you sleep, do you explore your body? Does thinking of John inspire you to…’

‘Oh – Mama said once that it was not seemly’ Lizzie mumbled awkwardly. Dotty sighed.

‘That is a shame. Lizzie, I charge you that if you want to be prepared for your wedding night, you should know more about yourself so that you may direct John. Some women discover things about themselves that are very useful when they marry.’

‘What should I do? I do not want to disappoint my husband’

‘Rest assured you cannot disappoint, but you can be more prepared, more aware of your sex.’ She patted her hand ‘How do you feel when John kisses you? You certainly seemed to enjoy it last night’

‘I – yes, it makes me feel – dizzy. I have told him how it makes me tingle’

‘Is there a place where you feel it the most?’

‘Yes’ she lowered her voice ‘between my legs, and there is warmth where I feel the ache on my monthly cycle’

‘That is good, Lizzie. The place where you bleed – your sex - is the place in to which John must place his seed in order for you to have a child’

‘Oh!’ she looked astonished ‘I had wondered, for those that bleed in the romances I have read are in turn relieved or devastated that it signals that they will not bear a child – but of course, it makes sense. But how does he plant that seed?’

‘You have seen pictures and sculptures of naked men, have you not?’

‘Of course, but I don’t see how…’

‘It would be improper to depict men in the state they achieve in order to plant their seed.’ Dorothea smiled ‘Though who decided that, I know not, and there are gentlemen who are rumoured to have art that depicts such things, and titillating depictions of unclothed ladies.’ She moved a little closer and lowered her voice, though they were quite private. ‘When a man desires a woman, and in other instances, his member becomes hard, and often it also grows larger. Then it is possible to enter or penetrate a woman’s sex and plant their seed’

‘That sounds – uncomfortable’ Elizabeth said dubiously, her head reeling at the thought.

‘That depends on your partner’ Dotty assured her ‘I am certain that John will make sure you enjoy it, for it can be the most sublime and heavenly experience. The first time can indeed be painful, but only for a short instance.’

‘Romantic novels would have us believe it is highly pleasurable. Is it really true?’

‘Not always, but very often if you have a considerate partner’ Dotty laughed. ‘What you can do to prepare yourself is to explore your sex when you are alone in your bedchamber. You can discover where you like to be touched, and how. Of course, it is somewhat different when your husband touches you, but it can be better if you direct him as to what pleases you.’ Elizabeth nodded, taking it all in. But still she had questions.

‘You mentioned seed – what is it?’ she asked, and this time it was Dottie’s turn to look uncomfortable. She considered her words carefully before she spoke.

‘His seed - is rather like milk or cream, thick and white, and shoots from his member at the climax of the act. There is a great deal of pleasure for him, after which he grows soft again. You will have a similar climax which they say is essential for bearing children, and necessary for your health. You say that John has inferred that you may delay having children. He most likely means that if he withdraws his member before he emits his seed, you may remain childless, as it will not reach your womb to bear fruit.’ She patted her hand ‘There are other things you may do that give you both pleasure without penetration and emission of seed, but I will leave you to discover that for yourself.’ Elizabeth frowned, almost overcome at the bombardment of information, but relieved that she knew more of what was to come upon her marriage to John.

‘This may sound silly – but what is special about marriage that facilitates the creation of a child?’ Dotty laughed.

‘Nothing at all my dear, one does not have to be married to have a child. That is but a ceremony. It is a piece of paper, a contract made between you and your husband and sanctified by the Church and by law. Without that, any two people of any rank in society may have physical relations in this way.’ Elizabeth drew a deep breath.

‘You have opened my eyes, Dotty. I am so grateful to you for telling me what I need to know. Why it is all kept so secret I cannot fathom’ Her friend patted her hand.

‘You must show no sign of knowing these things, save to your fiancé. In turn you may instruct your sister before she is wed – but only if you are certain of her affections. It would not do to have such knowledge without a serious and certain offer of marriage. Now Lizzie, unless you have more questions, perhaps we should continue with our walk’

‘I have much to think about indeed, and I think that is enough for now’ Elizabeth rose, and they continued their walk, speaking easily of trivial things before returning to the house to prepare for dinner.

@sirbeepsalot @camillemontespan @dcbbw @rainbowsinthestorm @katedrakeohd @trappedinfandoms @kingliam2019 @nomadics-stuff @texaskitten30 @princess-geek @texaskitten30 @fluffyfirewhiskey

#period drama #regency drama #Elizabeth Dalgliesh #elizabeth and john #Captain John Lykel #period drama au #perioddrama

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msbluebell · 5 years

Note

Hey! How about a Captured AU where Byleth, before all this, had a thing with Dimitri and is pregnant by the time she is brought to Enbarr? 💔

Oh boy.

This one is going to hurt, isn’t it? There’s no way it’s not. There’s no way not to hurt in this one. I’m sorry guys, but melmcshane is the one that did this to you all. I’m merely writing these scenarios in the most logical/in character way I know how. I didn’t do this!

Before we get into what happens if Byleth is pregnant during captivity, we need to figure out how this would happen. Now, it’s no secret that I’m against student/teacher while the student is in school, and Dimitri is only 17 when he’s in school which is iffy as shit to me. I may have projected that onto Byleth as well, y’know, just wanting to keep the power dynamics at balance. It’s very clear to me that Dimitri and Byleth do fall in love over the course of the school year, but I imagine one of the things holding them back is the fact that Byleth is Dimitri’s teacher and Dimitri is the prince of Faerghus.

So the affair would have had to happen late in the year. Both biologically and personally speaking. I mean, Byleth would have had to be in the extremely early stages of pregnancy to go into the battle without noticeable changes, especially considering her default clothes shows off here naval. She would have had to be in the first trimester, which gives us a three month interval.Now, Dimitri was on a downward spiral during that interval, but there’s a certain point I think we can pin when this affair would have happened. Now, I’m going to go ahead and say it didn’t happen post-reveal because Dimitri was not okay and I doubt he nor Byleth would have indulged in such an intimate moment at that time. It would have been iffy at best, and I don’t think either one of them would have been emotionally able to

If I had to take a guess when they’d indulge in such a moment, I think I would put my bets on the night before visiting the holy tomb actually.

Logically speaking, I think that’s the best bet. If Byleth and Dimitri have harbored feelings for one another that they’ve been holding back based on the fact that Byleth is his teacher, then I think that this is the time that issues would seem most irrelevant to either of them. Not only does this take place after one of the moments that I have speculated either of them could have realized they’ve fallen in love in the game, but this is also a critical moment where they don’t know what will happen. Neither of them know what will happen when Byleth receives the revelation, and even if Byleth is expecting nothing based on what she knows about what happened to Sothis that no one else does, there’s no guarantee that she will not come out of this unchanged, or perhaps even replaced/overwritten by Sothis.

So, maybe the night before the ritual Dimitri comes to check on Byleth, or maybe it’s the other way around considering he mentions that he hasn’t been sleeping well lately. Either way, they’re both worried about the other, and they don’t know what will happen, or what the future holds, and this might be their last chance to tell each other about their feelings. Maybe it started out innocent enough, with some mutually reassuring words, mutual attempts at comfort, and then it got more heavy from there. Comfort somehow became admitting they don’t wanna lose each other, which somehow became a kiss, which lead to them forgetting everything outside that moment and just focusing on each other, which lead to that night.

It was a thing of passion and comfort, because they’re scared everything will change and they’ll lose each other and then may be the first and last time the get this.

They’re…not wrong.

After the holy tomb there were more important things to focus on. Dimitri’s mental health has rapidly declined, and there’s a war marching toward them, and things have gone to hell. So there’s no time to talk about what happened, not yet, right now they need to focus. They can talk later, if they survive.

Maybe they did say something before battle, maybe they promised that after they would talk. Who knows. In any case, the battle goes as it does in the game, with Edelgard’s forces taking Garreg Mach and basically destroying it, and Byleth falling off that cliff.

So, when Byleth fell off that cliff she would have been about two months into her pregnancy. That’s early enough both to not be showing and for the baby to possibly survive the fall with their mother so long as Byleth didn’t land on her stomach or anything. So, for the sake of the prompt, I’m going to say that the baby got lucky here and the force of impact didn’t do much to disrupt the pregnancy. Now Byleth is in a coma, and pregnant, and the Imperial troops probably find her.Now, I’m going to assume some field medics are on the case, but I doubt they’re going to be looking for signs of pregnancy in a soldier, especially one that survived falling from a cliff, so they don’t realize right away and keep Byleth put under for the trip to Enbarr like in the original Captured Post. They put her in the tower, lock her up, and things continue as it was in my original AU.

Except that, of course, things have to change if Byleth is pregnant.

Now, I’m going off the assumption Byleth didn’t realize she was pregnant at first. Observant as she is, I doubt that the possibility of pregnancy was the first thing on her mind at all during the last month or two. If she noticed she missed her period than she probably assumed she was irregular because of stress and anxiety or something.

Three months into the pregnancy though? She’s going to start showing a bit.

Now, three months is the end of the first trimester, so she’s starting to show more than a little bump. During the second month she could brush off a little bump as some weight gain, maybe, but three months in and it’s becomes a little difficult to mistake a swell for extra fat tissue. By this time she will miss her third period in a row, and would start showing more noticeable symptoms. Morning sickness would definitely be an issue, a heightened sense of smell as well as fatigue, much more frequent urination, breathlessness, headaches, mood swings, frequent changes in libido, and of course, breast swelling.

Yeah, pregnant ladies deal with a lot of bullshit, and being trapped in a tower shouldn’t be one of them.

Now, Byleth isn’t stupid. That said, I can see her being in denial at first. She’s already trapped here, she can’t be pregnant on top of that! She probably denies it for as long as she can.

But no one else is stupid either, and she has people watching her for signs of health risks and such. They probably notice something is up right away and have healers sent in. And even if Byleth somehow denied them the chance to check her, it would become very obvious to everyone very fast that she’s pregnant.

Can you imagine how horrified some of the Black Eagles student’s would be to realized they locked up their pregnant professor in a tower?

So they find out she’s pregnant. I imagine that, at first, Edelgard isn’t too happy with the news. There’s probably a lot of debate over who the father could even be, because I doubt that Byleth would share that particular information. Some of the more observant students, like Hubert, could venture a guess that it was Dimitri, but there’s no solid evidence yet. There’s probably a lot of debate about what to do about the professor, specifically what to do about the child. Some might have even been in favor of, y’know, easing up on the captivity (Dorothea), or at least putting her under house arrest as an alternative (Ferdie), just anything to ease up on a pregnant woman. Someone may have suggested…”accidentally” inducing a miscarriage (which I think would be a last fucking straw for a lot of the students, not going to lie, you can only justify so much awful shit in the name of safety) which got very quickly eliminated from the ideas. Either way, it’s considered an unresolved issue…at first.

Byleth, herself, would be stuck on what to do. She’s not stupid, she knows that if she has this child then they’re probably going to take them, or kill them, or…something. Worst case scenario they grow up trapped in this room for all their life and never see the outside. Or Edelgard takes them as fills their head with nonsense. Or…or…

She can’t see a good way for this to end. The best she can hope for is a rescue, or to escape while she’s still early. But security will have been doubled by this, and she doubts she can escape with a baby in her arms. Risking herself is one thing, risking an innocent baby is another. But staying doesn’t seem any better.

Byleth may even also legitimately be considering somehow aborting the child herself out of sheer desperation. It’s not that she doesn’t want the babe, she just legitimately can’t see a way to save them.

Let’s say that there’s no chance to get rid of the baby though, what happens?

I can see Edelgard being resentful…at first. But the longer the pregnancy goes on, the softer her feelings for the idea becomes. She might never have a child of her own, after all, there’s no certainty, and the idea of raising the babe as her own family has appeal.

Byleth would swell, of course, and go through the turmoils of pregnancy without the father. I wonder if Byleth would ever rub her belly and think about Dimitri? I wonder if she would wonder if he’s alive? I wonder if she sings to the babe? Or tells it stories? Babies are supposed to be able to sense that stuff in the womb, right? That’s what the stories say. So she probably tells them about their father when she’s all alone. She probably tells them about their grandfather too, and the mercenaries, and Garreg Mach, and what little she knows about Faerghus. I wonder if she knows any lullabies? I wonder if she has to make some up? I wonder if she tells them about the Blue Lions, about kind Ashe, and gentle Mercedes, and loyal Dedue, and clever Sylvain, and responsible Ingrid, and fierce Felix, and loving Dimitri.

I wonder if she agonizes over the names. I wonder if she wishes Dimitri was there to help her. I wonder if she rubs her belly and tries to imagine what kind of names Dimitri would have liked, what kind would fit Faerghus.

Her child deserves to grow up knowing these people, knowing their home, but instead they’re going to know round walls and windowless rooms.

I wonder if she gives birth in that room of if they let her into an infirmary. She probably gives birth in that room.

They probably let her keep the baby herself, because newborns need constant attention from their mother. They need to be nursed, and changed, and given constant affection. Maybe, that’s what gets Byleth through the first year and a half of her captivity, taking care of the baby. Naming them, telling them stories, playing with their hair.

Byleth is a new mother, and she didn’t have a mother of her own to learn from, but she has nothing but time to learn in this room.

I wonder if the babe has blonde or green hair? I wonder if they have green or blue eyes? I wonder if they have their father’s nose? Their grandfather’s ears? I wonder if Byleth looks at them and thinks about Dimitri sometimes, and the fact this child might never meet him.

Okay, but in my discord server we decided that Link from BOTW is the Dimileth love child and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

One thing the child does have is a crest of Blaiddyd.

Pretty hard to hide who the father is with that.

The Black Eagles all try to be involved in raising the child. They brings toys, and books, and clothes. The stay and tell stories and sing songs. But it doesn’t make up for the fact that the child is growing up in such an environment and never will.

Edelgard probably relocates the child after the first half a year, though. She moves them to a royal nursery and has nannies help raise them, and tries to act as a second mother to them. It was probably a big fight to get them out of the room, with lot’s of Byleth screaming and kicking and clawing at the guards as they took her child. Edelgard probably tried to placate Byleth, saying that the babe needed to be outside some, and that she’ll join him as soon as the war is over.

Or maybe that doesn’t happen. Maybe the babe is locked in that room with their mother, having never seen the outside world. Never knowing anything but that room.

I think that one is sadder and more likely, if only to keep Byleth complacent, so we’ll go with that one.

The babe probably grows up with two different extremes. On one hand Edelgard is trying to be their mother and feel their head with Empire propaganda. On the other hand Byleth is telling them not to trust Edelgard, whispering different stories than the one they’ve heard about the war and he people involved. The grow up with one side telling them about the evils of the church and crests, and the other telling them about the best memories of Garreg Mach and the people there.

For years, the only thing the child hears about their father is that he’s either an enemy of the Empire, a dead one, or he was a kind and just man.

If the poor babe was locked up with their mother and never let out than they’re probably more inclined to believe her over the other mother that’s not really their mother that visits all the time, even if she does bring great toys. The news would be more mixed if they’re raised in the nursery. But since I’m leaning towards the former…

The child grows up pale and used to enclosed walls. They probably don’t know what the sky looks like, or the sun, or a forest, or lake, or the stars. They’ve seen pictures in the books the Black Eagles bring, but no real concept other than that.

I like to think that Byleth probably finally decides to risk escape when the child asks if he’ll ever get to feel rain. That’s when she tries to make plans at least.

Byleth probably teaches him to wield a sword as best she can in that room, teaching him to swing a little wooden toy sword as best she can.

The first time the child sees the sky is during the first escape attempt.

Tiny hands clutch their mother’s clothes from beneath a cloak, and small eyes turn up towards the sky to see so much bright that they’re blinded, unused to so much light. It’s big, and blue, larger than they could have ever imagined.

Byleth fights a whole armed guard trying to get out of that city, her child strapped to her back. She’s fiercer than any dragon, more savage than any lion, and more determined to get through those gates than any force of nature they’ve ever faced. It takes dozens and dozens of guards to stop her without harming her or the child, but they do, eventually, because Byleth couldn’t go all out, she couldn’t risk the tiny body on her back.

She failed to escape in the end.

The babe is most certainly taken from her after that, relocated to a nursery and only allowed supervised visits every day. Byleth isn’t even sure if she’s angry or not, because she showed her child the sky, and they get to see it all the time now, the get to see something other than this damn room, and she still see them every day.

Still, ever day she holds them close to her chest, when it’s time for them to leave her, those small hands clutching her clothes and fat tears rolling down their chubby cheeks. All she can to is hold them so close in a warm embrace and whisper promises in their ear that she’ll get out someday, and when she does she’ll come get him, and they can go away and find their father, and the Blue Lions, and then they can all finally live together under the sky.

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motherrussianelichika · 4 years

Text

Ingrid, makeup your mind.

I haven’t publicly shared my writing in 5 years but I finished this last night and what the heck ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sometimes you want Petrathea, sometimes you want Dorogrid but all the times you just wish Ingrid could be herself Intsys.

For the third time since I had started at the academy there was a girl in my room trying to teach me how to use makeup. At least when it was Mercedes and Annette I could run and not have to worry about their feelings, but this was Dorothea. I wanted to get close to her...in a platonic way of course. She saved my hide with my most recent suitor, so when she offered to do my makeup, how could I refuse? She was a commoner and I was hoping her perspective on all this girly stuff would be different and help me understand it better.

I was not so lucky.

The first step is the worst. A thick substance called foundation suffocates every one of my pores. Their gasps for air manifest as a grating itching sensation that makes me want to claw at my face. Every subsequent step adds another layer to the torture. It gets even worse when Dorothea asks me to close my eyes and my other senses sharpen and I become acutely aware of how ungoddessly annoying this experience is. Have I truly gone insane? Did I think this would be better just because it was Dorothea's soft hand cradling my chin as she lined my eyes?

Wait, what.

"Ingrid dear, please stop furrowing your brows." Dorothea scolded. She was so close to my face I could feel every puff of air as she spoke. I cracked open one eye and she was a lot closer than I was expecting. I reeled back in my chair.

"S-sorry, I just...I just wasn't...expecting you to be that close." I rushed out, my face getting redder by the second still thinking about how her lips were so close to mine.

"Aw, don't fret my lovely Ingrid," hearing those words again sent my heart racing even faster than it already was, "I would never do anything untoward until I had asked for permission first." She winked.

There was a knock at my door and I immediately shot up to answer it. For the first and only time in my life I prayed to the goddess that it was Sylvain.

Again, I was not so lucky.

In my doorway was the princess of Bridgid looking at me strangely. Or maybe she was just mirroring my own expression. Petra and I had never spoken beyond basic pleasantries, and I had no desire to change that because I was quite jealous of her closeness to Dorothea.

"Oh sorry Ingrid, I forgot to mention I invited Petra to join us. She is so talented at hair styling! I wanted to see what she could do with yours." Dorothea explained.

"Hello Ingrid! You are looking…" Petra trailed off searching for her words. "There is a word I have heard you described as before but I am having difficulty recalling it."

"Is it 'ravishing'? I did a pretty good job with her make-up don't you think?" My heart was trying to evacuate my chest again.

"No, I am believing it is something negative. Something that has to do with not using the toilet?"

"Petra are you trying to say I look constipated?" I was not offended, she did not know any better. Sylvain on the other hand, did.

Her eyes lit up. "Yes that is it! You are having the look of constipated!" Petra strides over to where my wash basin and washcloth are. "You should remove the face paint if it is causing much discomfort".

"It is uncomfortable," I sighed "but as a noble lady it is something I do need to get used to."

"This part of your culture I have great difficulty understanding. You all care much for how your outside looks but do not listen to the inside."

"My inside?"

"Your spirit….your…" Petra trailed off searching again.

"Soul?" Dorothea offered.

"Yes, what is your soul speaking to you?"

"Honestly? To get this crap the hell off of my face..." And that I should cut off all this unmanageable hair, and that I should tell my father where he can stick his next proposal, and that I should become a knight and when all the women in the town I just assisted flock around me and ask for me to remove my helmet they will all fawn over how handsome I am and I will have to remind them I am a married woman and my gorgeous wife is awaiting my return...

I was jolted out of my...soul searching...by a cold washcloth pressing on my face.

"I'm sorry Ingrid. I had no idea you were so uncomfortable, I didn't mean to pressure you into this." Dorothea apologized as she wiped the makeup off.

"No, please do not apologize. It was somewhat worth it, though, because I got to spend time with you." As I said that I laid my hand over the one she was using the washcloth with. The floodgates had opened and inside Ingrid needed to slow down. Or not, judging by the blush on Dorothea's cheeks.

"Perfection!" Petra exclaimed. "Now that Ingrid is Ingrid, we have the same foot."

"Huh? Do you mean we are on equal footing? For what?" I questioned.

"Our battle!"

"Battle!?" Petra was one of the last people at the academy I wanted to face on the battlefield.

"Our battle for Dorothea's heart!"

Goddess save me.

#my writing #fe3h #dorogrid #minor petrathea #I just love Ingrid a lot okay?#why do so many of her supports revolve around makeup?#just leave the poor girl alone #ingrid brandl galatea #dorothea amault #petra macneary

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horsegirldischarge · 4 years

Text

ferdibert’s A+ support- a weird analysis-type thing

sometimes i think about the ferdibert A+ support, and by sometimes, i mean all the time. so here’s an analysis of their A+ support that’s not really an analysis i’m just really feeling ferdibert and want to talk about Them

ferdinand/hubert‘s A+ support is one out of three same-sex A+ supports in ALL of three houses, (the other two being sylvain/felix and shamir/catherine). they’re also each other’s only A+ supports, which isn’t true of sylvix and cathmir, who all have at least one more A+ support with another person. that means that their A+ support is completely unique to them- which is quite a monumental thing all on its own, without even delving into the content of the actual support.

the fascinating thing is the presence of an A+ support AT ALL. it shows that hubert and ferdinand deeply trust each other, and care about each other a lot underneath their little rivalry. (of course, hubert will never trust and be quite as devoted to ferdinand as he is to edelgard, as her best friend and vassal, but i digress). if the goal of ferdinand and hubert’s supports was to simply make them friends, then going up to a regular A support would seemingly do the job. after all, in their A support, they’re sitting down together for tea and coffee, and hubert genuinely compliments ferdinand (despite claiming that he is a contemptible degenerate).based on hubert’s personality, that’s seemingly close enough to friendship to pass as friends.

but, nope, they didn’t stop there! the mere presence of an A+ support, plus the uniqueness of that support considering the supports between them and other people, hints at something quite a bit deeper.

and that’s without even talking about the A+ support‘s content! because... whoo boy.

[ spoiler warning for ferdinand and hubert’s A+ support (obviously)! if you haven’t seen it already, don’t be stupid and go do that first ]

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the support starts off simply enough- ferdinand and hubert run into each other by the dorms, (presumably on their way to meet each other, based on the events that follow.) quickly, they both notice that the other is carrying cargo- hubert, some tea leaves, and ferdinand, some coffee beans.

the coffee is basic enough, and not necessarily romantic. it doesn’t mention anything beyond the fact that they’re coffee beans. there is a bit of speculation around the origin of the coffee beans, which i’ll talk about in a moment. however, what is concrete is the fact that ferdinand was thinking about hubert, and remembered what he liked- and, most importantly, cares about hubert enough to give him gifts entirely unprompted.

now, coffee beans are generally imported from dagda to fodlan, from what we’ve seen in-game- i.e., the coffee beans item that hubert likes (purchasable from one of the travelling merchants) is mentioned to be dagdan. there is a distinct possibility that the coffee beans which ferdinand has are also imported. assuming that they are, there are a couple of ways that ferdinand could have acquired them.

1. having them specially imported for hubert, meaning that he thought about it ahead of time, put a lot of money into the gift (which is actually a big deal, as ferdinand loses the majority of his fortune and sway as a noble in crimson flower)

2. he simply found them at some sort of travelling merchant’s shop like how it is in-game, and bought them for hubert

the second way can also apply if the coffee beans are, in fact, not imported. the first way is interesting, but possibly less plausible.

now the tea leaves that hubert brings ferdinand are explicitly stated to be imported from the east, as shown in the screenshot from their A+ below.

this could be for either reason above, but once again, the fact remains that hubert was thinking about ferdinand when he bought the leaves, and bought them specifically for him- as is implied, and as he states.

however, the very interesting bit is that said tea is one of ferdinand’s favourites. i don’t have the screenshot, but ferdinand explicitly says that it is his ‘favourite drink.’ (this could also just mean tea in general, but i’m taking it as the former, since it’s kind of ambiguous, and because of the fact that ferdinand also recognises the packaging and origin of the tea within a single moment of seeing it.) either hubert got EXTREMELY lucky, and picked one of ferdinand’s favourite imported teas from the many available, or he knows ferdinand well enough/has observed him closely enough that he simply knows. the former scenario is improbable, and both of the latter scenarios suggest a higher degree of interest in ferdinand.

next, ferdinand asks hubert who the tea is for, but he doesn’t tell him. instead, he asks ferdinand who he went out of his way to buy the coffee for.

and then, ferdinand looks away, blushing. he doesn’t say anything beyond a ‘well, i...’, as if he’s completely speechless. speechless, blushing, smiling, and unable to meet hubert’s eyes. all he’s doing is giving him a simple gift- ferdinand is shown to be a kind and compassionate soul, and i’m sure that generally, he has no trouble doing something as simple as this with many other people. however, giving hubert his coffee beans seems to be a somewhat embarrassing affair, but his smile suggests he’s also feeling very fond at the same time.

hubert presumably sees this blush, sees his smile and his eyes averted, and decides to tease him. he asks if it’s for someone that ferdinand fancies- fancies, as in, has a crush on. the fact that this is even brought up at all is fascinating, but make note of something else. the gender-neutral term, ‘someone’. in these types of scenes, the other person will often use ‘girl’ or ‘guy’, not a gender-neutral term like someone. of course, this could be a simple oversight, or even a translation error, seeing as the english localisation has been known to get the meaning of many scenes wrong. i just thought it was an interesting point to bring up, seeing that the english localisation also loves to make everything more heterosexual, and the fact that they didn’t change this line to ‘girls’ is very compelling.

anyway, here’s the fun thing. ferdinand doesn’t deny it, nor does he try to change the topic. he just forges right ahead, and plainly tells hubert that it’s for him. hubert is, naturally, surprised, seeing as he just hinted at the gift being for ferdinand’s crush.

after hubert confirms that, yes, it’s actually a gift meant for him and ferdinand isn’t just playing a prank, ferdinand blushes again. once again, doesn’t try to deny anything, nor change the topic away from what is a clear implication of a crush on hubert. just simply tells him to take the coffee beans.

when hubert confirms that he bought the tea with ferdinand in mind (see above screenshot, referenced earlier), he himself actually blushes. hubert von vestra, who never blushes on any other occasion (as far as i know) that isn’t teatime with byleth. not when bernadetta makes him a special embroidered flower to wear, not when petra says that she’s going to make him choose her over edelgard one day, not when he confesses his feelings for edelgard to edelgard, and not even when dorothea literally brings up a MARRIAGE between the two of them. nope, the simplest thing, ferdinand bringing him a gift and the implication of a crush, is enough to get him blushing.

after this, they laugh together! not hubert’s evil critical hit laugh, nor his torment-bernadetta laugh, nor his sarcastic little chuckle. a genuine, soft laugh- at the end, he lets out a little cough, as if he didn’t mean to laugh so genuinely at that moment. to end off the support, they decide to have a tea and coffee break, and make each other’s drinks.

whoo, that was a lot.

the implications in this are so damn HEAVY, even if there’s nothing actually concrete happening. the fact that this unnecessary A+ support exists, purchasing gifts for each other unbidden, blushing and smiling and generally acting awkward, the mention of a (gender-neutral) crush and the lack of denial, the implication that ferdinand has a crush on hubert- overall, it’s just undeniably gay.

tl;dr: the ferdibert A+ support is just. so damn gay. there’s no heterosexual explanation for this.

#that took FOREVER #'ve seriously been working on this for 2 hours #didn't help that all my progress got deleted once so i had to rewrite most of it #hope this made sense! i'm very tired #analysis #fe3h #feth #fe16 #fire emblem three houses #ferdibert #i think they have another ship name but i'm tired #ferdinand von aegir #hubert von vestra #black eagles #crimson flower #bernadetta von varley #petra macneary #edelgard von hresvelg #dorothea arnault

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callmewishful · 3 years

Text

Power and Grace

“Well, I…I have to go.”

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“Oh, thank the Goddess.” Sylvain muttered to Ashe as they walked into class.

Ashe looked confused at his walking partner. The classroom appeared normal; most people having arrived already. He turned to look out the door they’d came in. The sun was shining brightly in the morning sky, “I mean…it is a nice day….”

“Not that.” Sylvain shook his head, “That.” He gestured to Felix and Evyanna deep in conversation at their desks. Evy was drawing out something on a piece of paper and explaining it to Felix, who seemed rather impressed by whatever she was saying.

“Oh,” Ashe nodded in understanding, “Yeah, they really hadn’t talked for a while there, hadn’t they?”

“What can I say, Ashe? Felix is a stubborn man.”

“So, I think we start with the Black Eagles, because then we can take out the ballista-“

“How do you know the Eagles will have the ballista?” Felix interrupted her. “How do you know Claude or Ignatz won’t take it?”

Evy snorted, “Over Edelgard? Please. Edelgard will break Claude’s nose for the ballista.”

“Touché.”

“So anyway, we want Ashe on the ballista, so I think you or I should take out the Eagles archer…who is…shoot.”

“Bernadetta.” Felix supplied, taking the quill from Evy’s hand and writing the girls name on the paper where the Ballista was. Despite his dedication to sword training over book training, he had fairly nice handwriting. “She’s meek and shy and squeals in fear just by looking at me. She’ll be easy to take down.”

Evy giggled, “That scary are you?”

“I think it’s the eyes.”

Evy could concede to that. He did have unusual eyes. She didn’t find them scary though, more intriguing than anything. “Okay, so we take out Bernadetta first to have control of the ballista. If you rush ahead to take her out, I can have Ashe stay behind me to get him to the spot. The Eagles and the Deer will be close together so if we want that prize we’ll have to be fast in taking them out before they cut each other down.”

“The Eagles have a lot of magic users if I remember right. Ashe can focus on them once they’re in range. Maybe we should go for them first to get them out of the way?”

“What do the Eagles focus on?”

“Bernie’s the archer, Edelgard uses an axe, I think Hubert is a magic user, dark magic if I remember right, because he’s a sketchy ass man. Petra uses the sword, Dorothea is a magic user, Caspar uses an axe I think, don’t quote me on that. Linhardt is a magic user, Ferdinand uses a lance?”

“So, we have three magic users for the Eagles and four weapon users? What about the Deer again?”

“Claude is a bow, Ignatz is a bow, Leonie is a bow but sometimes a sword user. Lysithea and Marianne are magic users. Maybe Lorenz too? Hilda uses a lance and I think Raphael uses an axe or his fists.”

“The Deer have fewer magic users then. Maybe we should go for them first? Let the Eagle’s magic users come to the center of the field and be picked off by Ashe?” Evy drew arrows from her, Felix, and Ashe to the center of the map. Then she drew arrows showing Dimitri, Dedue, and Sylvain going up close and personal for the Deer. “If we want, Ingrid could fly ahead and get personal with the Eagle weapon users. Once Ashe is secure on the ballista you and I can go for the Eagles too so she’s not alone. You’re a good dodger.”

“I wouldn’t mind going for Hubert, actually. I’ve wanted to test my skill against his anyway.”

“He’ll be parked up Edelgard’s ass though. So, if you go for him you’ll have to fight her off too.”

“Come with me, then. You can take her.”

“I can go with you guys too. Help ward off some of the magic users.” Annette piped up. Felix and Evyanna looked up from their work to see the entire class surrounding their desks viewing Evy’s drawing as well. Evy’s face turned a light pink and she immediately cast her eyes back down to the paper.

Felix took the quill and drew an arrow from Annette to the Black Eagles side, seemingly unbothered by the class listening in. “That’ll make us more even too.”

“I think it’s a good strategy.” The Professor praised, “does anyone have anything they’d like to add or change?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“I yield! I yield!” Bernadetta squealed, cowering in fear.

“I didn’t even touch you.” Felix muttered, but lowered his training sword. “Ashe, get up there.”

Ashe rushed past Evy and took Bernadetta’s spot on the ballista making quick work of loading it with the training arrows. Evy watched Dimitri and Sylvain engaging with Lorenz and Hilda in the distance. She smiled proudly while her boys fought. So far, their plan was working quite nicely.

“Annette, let’s go.” Felix instructed, taking no time to admire the fight before them. Over to the east, Ingrid swooped in and began engaging Ferdinand. The three took off towards the Eagles to help their flier, Evy being pulled from her observance. She rushed in to stop Linhardt from using magic against Ingrid, forcing him to yield. Felix and Annette were tackling Dorothea together. Evy was often impressed by Dorothea. So confident and talented, both musically and magically.

“ARGH!” Evy barely dodged Petra’s swinging blade after beating Lorenz, stumbling backwards and nearly losing her footing. Petra noticed how off-balance she was and came in ferociously swinging with speed Evy could barely match with how caught off guard she’d been.

Petra was about to go in for the final blow, Evy barely holding on, “You will yield!”

“No,” Felix interrupted her with his training sword in her back, “You will yield.”

Petra slowly lowered her blade, turning to look at Felix, “I must yield?”

“I don’t see a training sword in my back.”

She nodded in agreement and sighed, “I must yield. I worked hard. You are lucky to have your sword man boyfriend to save you, Zelshire Princess.”

Evy fixed her grip on her sword and sputtered, “Oh, I-I mean…we-”

Felix’s face was bright red, not from the exertion of battle, and he quickly turned away to go back to the fight. Evy could feel her face was just as hot as Felix’s looked and she stopped trying to explain seeing as she couldn’t get words out of her mouth.

“You have the oddest of relationships with the sword man boyfriend, Zelshire Princess.” Petra looked between the two before exiting the battlefield.

Evyanna didn’t even try. She was so flustered between the conversation and Petra’s relentless attacks that she gave up. After a quick deep breath, she had to get back into the battle. Annette and Felix were coming up on Hubert and Edelgard and they’d need help.

She rushed back into the action, trying to clear her head as much as she could. One thing kept sticking out to her though: Felix didn’t deny it.

Of course, they weren’t dating, but he didn’t deny Petra’s assumption of a romantic relationship. Maybe he thought he didn’t have time for such nonsense, seeing as he’d left Annette to save Evy. Maybe he thought he had to go back to save Annette. Maybe he saw Evy was already making an attempt to clear up the confusion and didn’t see the point in him doing so also. Or…maybe he didn’t deny it because he wanted a romantic relationship.

Evyanna nearly laughed out loud at herself. Felix? Dating? She really could be quite funny.

So funny, that she mentioned the story to Ingrid on their victory walk back. Ingrid thought it was funny too that Petra would say that. Anyone who knew Felix knew he was basically emotionally empty. As far as Evy knew, the only emotion Felix had was anger.

Still, she couldn’t help the hopeful feeling in her chest when she thought about him. She knew better, really. Mother always told her to never expect a man to change. ‘If you don’t like him now, you won’t like him ever.’ Though it wasn’t that she didn’t like Felix…she just wished he wanted the same thing.

It was stupid really. Felix was clearly not interested in a relationship. He told her that his only focus was getting stronger and working on his skills with the blade. If she wanted a relationship she should focus on someone else. Dimitri perhaps….

After the mock battle, all the students had a feast together in the dining hall at Claude’s insistence, celebrating the enjoyment of the fight and the Blue Lions win. The night was a lot of fun.

Claude dropped two bags of marshmallows on the table after dinner with a smirk on his face. Evy gasped, “Are we playing Chubby Bunny?!”

“What’s that?” Claude asked, even though he brought the marshmallows.

“It’s a contest to see how many marshmallows you can fit in your mouth.” She explained, opening up one of the bags.

“That sounds ridiculous.” Felix muttered from his spot next to her.

Sylvain rolled his eyes, “You’re just mad that you’re a little man with a small mouth and can’t fit that many marshmallows in.”

“Give me one of those damn bags.” Felix snapped, reaching for the bag of the sticky confection in Evy’s hands.

“Now, now, now! Wait! We gotta go at the same time to keep track. Who’s in? Me, Felix, anyone else?” Claude gestured marshmallows to people.

All in all, Claude, Felix, Evy, Dimitri, Edelgard (after much chiding from Claude about being the only house lead who wasn’t playing), Sylvain, Ferdinand, Annette, Petra, Caspar, Leonie, and Raphael joined the contest. It was easy until around 6-7 marshmallows. Then people’s cheeks looked puffy and people started giggling. If you giggled, you were basically done for.

Annette was out first at 9 marshmallows, followed by Petra and Edelgard at 11. Evy and Leonie only got 12, while Ferdinand, to Evy’s surprise, fit 14. Evy was really only surprised because he didn’t seem like one to try during these games. He was Ferdinand von Aegir…so she heard.

Dimitri and Caspar were out next with 15 marshmallows – Dimitri awkwardly laughing about his puffy cheeks the entire time. Raphael was out at 16 because he was trying to cheat by eating them.

“Wahh Wou.” Felix tried to talk to Sylvain with 17 marshmallows in his mouth.

“Ah?” Sylvain, naturally, had zero idea what the hell Felix was saying.

“Wuak Wou.”

“Wah?”

Felix rolled his eyes and flipped Sylvain off, “Wak Wou.” Evy snickered.

Claude was trying his very best not to laugh so none of his marshmallows fell out and was failing. He was out at 17.

“Alright! Who has 18? Is it Sylvain or Felix?” Ingrid had easily taken on the role of announcer for the contest.

Felix put the marshmallow at the entrance of his mouth and used the palm of his fist to mash it in. Sylvain was trying to pry one side of his mouth open to make his marshmallow fit.

“It’s gotta be more than 50% in!” Ingrid chided Sylvain when he tried to claim victory by barely holding onto the marshmallow with the edge of his mouth.

“He’s got it! He’s got it!” Evy shouted, pointing at Felix, who had the marshmallow wedged in along with the other 17.

“Felix has it Sylvain!” Annette teased. Sylvain’s inability was not for lack of trying, he was pushing the marshmallow and prying his mouth, but it was not working. He looked hopefully at Ingrid.

“What do we think guys? Does he have it?” She asked the rest of the classes.

Evy shook her head, along with most. People erupted in their opinions. The little marshmallow was barely hanging on.

“Waa wou.” Felix grabbed one more for good measure and tried shoving it in his mouth. The class laughed hysterically as Sylvain mock-groaned with a chuckle of his own.

“You can’t laugh! Laughing is the bane of Chubby Bunny.” Evy giggled at him, handing him another marshmallow. Sylvain waved the marshmallow off. He barely made 18, there was no way he was making 19.

“Are you tapping out?” Claude asked in disbelief, “Get that marshmallow in there, son!” Claude took the marshmallow from Evy, trying to help Sylvain get it in his mouth. They both were laughing too hard to accomplish the feat. Felix barely had his 19th in but was determined to go for 20 when he saw Sylvain going for 19.

Before Sylvain could get 19 he laugh/coughed most of his marshmallows out. Felix slammed both of his hands on the table and flipped Sylvain off with both middle fingers. He spit out his marshmallows onto a plate, “Fuck off! Who’s little now?!”

“Damn! What the hell, Felix?” Sylvain chuckled rubbing his sore cheeks. Apparently one could never underestimate Felix when he was trying to prove someone wrong.

The table erupted into excited chatter about how Felix was able to beat everyone, despite thinking the game was ridiculous AND not even liking sweets (which Mercedes and Lysithea found an absolute crime).

The rest of the night was spent laughing, joking, and drinking, thanks to Claude and Sylvain. Turned out that Sylvain was a master drink mixer, raiding the Monastery cupboards and his own room stash for booze. They started the party in the dining hall, Dimitri reluctantly joining in on the drinking, though “not too much as it wouldn’t be very becoming for a King.” Once the party in the dining hall ended, the Blue Lions took their party back to the dorm rooms. Well, Sylvain’s dorm room so as not to disturb Claude, who had already been exclaiming he would be having a massive headache the next day.

The Blue Lion house shoved themselves into the boy’s room: crowding on the bed, his desk, and any spare chairs they could fit in the room. They drank, except for Dimitri, Dedue, and Mercedes, who mother-henned the group instead – forcing water on them and food as the night went on. Evy had never felt so apart of the group, wedged between Ingrid and Felix and laughing along with the rest of class. It was quite humorous to see the intoxicated side of some of their classmates.

“Evy! Remember when Lea broke his ankle, and I broke my arm that summer?” Sylvain shouted. Evy was not far enough away for him to need to shout, but he thought it was appropriate.

“How did you break your arm that summer? You refused to tell us the story.” Dimitri was sitting properly in Sylvain’s desk chair. He’d refused to sit on the desk itself like Sylvain was, because ‘that was not how desks were meant to be used.’ He did however, let Annette sit in front of his legs and use them as her back rest.

Sylvain broke out in more laughter. He jumped off his desk to dig around his dresser. Dimitri cringed, “Please tell me this story is appropriate.”

“Shh. I’m getting the demonstration ready.” Sylvain chided, pulling out an extra blanket.

“I’ll break your arm for you.” Felix volunteered, earning a jab in the ribs from Evy. Felix looked to her with a frown, “What? I would.”

Sylvain waved Felix off and grabbed all four corners of the blanket. “So, you know how when you fall, you feel all the wind blowing from the ground up at you? Well, we were like, dude, what if when you jump, you had something to catch the wind and then you could use the wind to make you fly instead of falling?! So, we got blankets like this, and grabbed all the corners and then we went up on top of the training hall and jumped off to see if it works!” Sylvain frowned at the memory, finally getting to the ending, “Turns out, you lose your grip and fall down anyway. Or if you don’t lose your grip, like Lea, you still don’t fly. Was really a bummer actually. I think I made out better though because I only broke my arm. Lea couldn’t walk for weeks.”

Dimitri sighed, rubbing his face, “Oh dear Goddess. If I’d known you were going to be so much trouble I wouldn’t have left you alone.”

Sylvain scoffed, “Please. We were conducting science. That’s hardly trouble.”

“You broke the Prince’s ankle.”

“I didn’t do it. Air did…well technically the ground when he landed.” Sylvain shrugged, tossing the blanket down to Annette who had been reaching for it.

Mercedes giggled, covering her mouth with her hand, “How did you spend that summer Your Highness? If not with Sylvain and this Lea.”

Dimitri smiled, fondly recalling the memories of that summer. He looked at his summer-mate as he answered, “I spent it with Evyanna, actually. While Sylvain and her younger brother, Lea got into massive amounts of mischief, we spent the summer exploring.”

“Exploring…” Sylvain winked, giving Dimitri a suggestive look.

The Prince’s face turned bright red, “N-not like that!” That was a slight lie. “There’s lots of beautiful sights in Zelshire.”

“Oh, I know it.” Sylvain continued to give Dimitri a shit-eating grin. While the rest of the class laughed at Dimitri’s expense, except Felix. Felix narrowed his eyes at the Prince.

Dimitri became increasingly flustered under Sylvain’s gaze and the Lion’s laughter, “I-I didn’t mean…I mean, not that the Princess isn’t…I-that’s not-“ Dimitri took a breath, “we just explored the nature trails and-“

“A happy trail, eh?”

“Sylvain!” Dimitri scolded, “We were far too young for such things.”

“Yeah, that’s fair. I’m not even sure you got a good beard coming in now.”

Evy couldn’t help the round of giggles that came through, leaning on Felix’s shoulder to help stifle them. It wasn’t really working.

“Okay, okay. You guys it is getting late!” Dimitri chided. This had to stop before things got worse. “This has been a fantastic night, but we should all be getting to be bed.”

“Fuck off, Boar Prince.” Felix, who’d lost what little filter he had during the night especially after the prior conversation, rolled his eyes at him.

Evy put a finger to Felix’s surprisingly soft lips, “Shhh, Fe. Be polite.”

“Oh, fucking kiss already.” Sylvain muttered to himself and Ashe, who he’d leaned into. He chugged the last of his drink quickly.

“Dimitri is right, Felix.” Mercedes stepped in, hoping that Felix would be nicer if she was the one to dictate, “It’s getting late and you need your rest so you can train tomorrow.”

The promise of training caught Felix’s attention and he stopped arguing. Reluctantly, and with some more mothering from Dimitri and Mercedes, they all started packing up. Mercedes took Annette and Ingrid down to the girls’ side of the dorms while Dimitri walked Ashe back down to the first floor. Evy lingered around Felix and Sylvain. Sylvain’s bed was too comfy to get up quite yet.

“Come on, we gotta train tomorrow.” Felix held out his hands to help her up. She groaned slightly but took them. Being an adult sucked sometimes.

“I just wanna take a nap.” She whined, leaning against his chest for a brief moment. Her legs lumbered her out the door and down the familiar hall. She’d give almost anything to be able to close her eyes and sleep with how tired she felt. Now that the high of victory and the buzz of her friends had worn off she was beat.

She heard Felix tell Sylvain to shut up behind her and she giggled. He was quite the character. Unlike any noble she’d ever met. He’d be an interesting heir. Part of her was really bummed that she wouldn’t get to see much of him once she left the monastery.

“Hey, Leighton.” His slightly slurred voice sounded behind her, along with slightly rushing footsteps.

Her bright leafy green eyes looked back at him, “Felix, you passed your ro-” Evy was cut off by his body crashing into hers, his hungry lips devouring her. She eagerly returned his kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck to bring him closer to her. Felix picked her up under her legs and pressed her back against the wall, deepening their impromptu make-out session.

Dimitri skipped back up the steps from ensuring Ashe made it to his room safely but stopped dead when he saw the amorous display in the hallway. He let out a small gasp as his eyes widened, but the sound did nothing to deter the apparent lovers. Sylvain was behind the pair, standing in his own doorway, giving Dimitri a thumbs up and a big grin. Dimitri wondered if Sylvain had decided to challenge Felix again and now this was the result.

The prince awkwardly walked by the couple, politely avoiding them with his eyes.

“Liquid courage strikes again.” Sylvain chuckled when Dimitri was in earshot.

“I didn’t realize Felix had feelings for Evyanna that way.” Dimitri admitted, his own heart conflicted at the sight of them together. But perhaps that was just their previous betrothment talking.

Sylvain scoffed, “Please, that’s why he avoided her for two months. He was trying to get over his little crush. I finally convinced him to man up tonight.” Sylvain grinned at the couple, proud of his handywork.

Dimitri reluctantly looked back at them. They’d stopped kissing, though Felix still had Evy pressed against the wall. Their foreheads were connected as they shared a smile between each other. Both of them looked rather happy. If his friends were happy, then he could be happy for them.

“You aren’t going to watch them all night, are you?” Dimitri was just as reluctant to ask Sylvain the question, more because he feared the answer.

“Nah. I just wanted to make sure he’d actually kiss her.”

Dimitri exhaled in relief, “Well, it appears you got your wish.” And with that, he went to try and sleep.

Evyanna and Felix did quite the opposite – kissing, grinding, and teasing until they were both left tired and panting. It was too soon for sex; they were buzzed and had only just expressed romantic interest in one another. Sex could wait. Besides, Evyanna found herself dizzy just from Felix’s lips. Well, alcohol might have offered some help too.

Felix was a bit surprised to find Evyanna curled up against his chest in the morning until the memories of the night before came flooding back…Sylvain telling him that Dimitri was going to confess feelings for Evy…him being…well, pissed at the thought…stopping her in the hallway…shoving her against the wall…attacking each other with hot kisses…her breath against his skin…shit.

He ran a hand through his messy hair and sighed. Fucking alcohol, making him act on his feelings.

Evyanna shifted on top of him, hugging him tighter. The two of them on the bed was a bit of a tight squeeze. Felix supposed it could’ve been worse – at least he got to be with her, and she didn’t reject him.

“Good morning.” She whispered rubbing her face against his tunic, nuzzling against him.

“Morning.” He rubbed her arm with another sigh. Part of him wanted himself to stop ruining this moment, but the other part was irritated at himself for letting it happen. What happened to trying to forget his feelings for her?

Evy peered up at him with shy eyes, as if she could tell exactly what he was thinking. This possibility made Felix even more uncomfortable, “Are you upset?”

That was a loaded question. Of course, he was upset – he acted on emotions he had been trying for months to get rid of . But, in reality…he did like it…fuck. “No.” He muttered, trying to avoid her eyes. How pathetic would it be to bother her with his internal conflict the first night they spent together? What was he, the Boar?

“You don’t sound sure.” Evy was having none of his avoidance and propped herself up on her arm so she could look him in the face. She was so beautiful, her bright green eyes so sweet and gentle, just like her soft features, in the morning. Her hair was a mess, but Felix was 100% certain that was partially his fault as well. Even still, she was everything Felix was not: gentle, loving, open…how the hell did such a soft person have feelings for a rough-around-the-edges swordsman? Perhaps he should take her feelings while she had them; before she wisened up and ditched him.

“I-I am.” He decided. “It’s just…different.” That part wasn’t a lie. Felix had never been interested in the relationship aspect of people before. Not until she skipped her way into his life.

She smiled softly at him, rubbing his cheek with her thumb in a gentle way that made him blush. “It is different, but I think it’s a good different.”

“Good different.” Felix agreed quietly. Anything more and he’d start stumbling over his words due to her touch. She kissed his other cheek and gave him one more quick cuddle before they had to get ready. He felt cold as she left the bed and mentally he hated himself. No way he could start this lovey shit…fuck.

“Good morning, Evy, Felix. How did- oh Goddess.” Dimitri’s face burned at breakfast as he realized that he didn’t want to know the answer to the question he almost asked.

Next to him, Sylvain snickered, but the new couple couldn’t figure out why.

“How did what?” Evy asked, encouraging him to keep going while not understanding why he paused in the first place. Dimitri seemed embarrassed about something. Perhaps the fact that he’d been drinking with them the night before? Evy didn’t remember him doing anything embarrassing. He only had one mixed drink before he cut himself off. Sylvain, Felix, and Annette had been much heavier drinkers.

“Um, how did…I mean, how was…good morning.” Dimitri’s face was positively red with embarrassment. He really didn’t want to ask the question but could figure out no good way out of it.

Felix narrowed his eyes at the boy, “What’s wrong with you? You’re even more incompetent than normal.”

“Well, I…I have to go.” Dimitri blurted out, getting up and rushing out of the dining hall. Evy and Felix shared a confused look. Sylvain burst out laughing, his face red for an entirely different reason than Dimitri’s had been.

“What’s his problem?” Felix demanded, “Why are you laughing?”

“He-...” Sylvain let out another bout of hysteria, “He saw you!”

“What?” Evy prayed to the Goddess that Sylvain did not mean what she thought he meant. She could feel her own cheeks starting to tinge with heat.

“In…the…hall.” Sylvain spit out between gasps of air.

Oh, dear Goddess.

Felix jumped up from his seat and sprinted out of the dining hall before Sylvain could get out another word. He ran up the retreating blonde and shoved him against the nearest pillar, “You tell ANYONE what you saw and I-I’ll-“

“No! No! I-I would never!” Dimitri stammered out, holding his hands up in surrender. Felix’s actions were starting to draw a crowd and Dimitri was getting even redder.

“Good! Because if you do, I’ll commit treason right here in front of everyone!” Felix threatened. He released the man after another good glare and pushed his raven hair out of his face.

“Right, yes. Understood.” Dimitri straightened himself out as well, looking anywhere but at Felix. “So,” he questioned after a few moments, “does this mean you guys aren’t-“ “No, we are.” Felix muttered, also not meeting Dimitri’s eyes. Fuck, did he just admit to Dimitri that he had a girlfriend?

“Oh. Okay…?”

“Just because we are doesn’t mean you get to talk about my love life.”

Dimitri nodded in understanding, “Right, of course not.”

“Good.”

From that point on Felix and Evy considered themselves “dating” but nothing much changed about their relationship from what anyone could tell. Most people in the monastery didn’t even know they were dating aside from Sylvain and Dimitri (and Ingrid because Sylvain could hardly keep a secret until Ingrid threatened him about telling anyone else). Felix and Evy still trained daily, talked during meals and class, and hung out at night. Nothing about their daily routine had changed. No displays of affection were shared. Not since the drunken night in her dorm room.

The only noticeable difference was that Evy appeared to tell Felix anytime she went anywhere. It was never a long conversation, instead going something simple like:

“Hey, you, I’m going to get dinner with the girls.”

“Ok.”

Or:

“Hi Felix, I’m going to the market with Ashe.”

“Ok.”

The first few times were moot. Felix was indifferent about the new development in their relationship. But it became constant, Evy seemingly interrupting his training at all hours just to tell him a stupid, trivial fact. He had hoped his evident irritation would ward her off, but she seemed oblivious to his frustrations as the days went on. It was hard to train when someone was constantly yammering at him.

“Hey, Felix. I’m going-“

“I don’t care!” He finally snapped, dropping his sword and turning to face her, “I don’t care where you go. Just go and get out of my face!”

Evy’s cheerful face fell, hurt by his sudden anger towards her. She didn’t understand what she’d done to upset him so much, “Oh. I-I’m sorry.”

“Look, this really isn’t working out.” He continued fuming at her, well past the point of no return.

“Wh-what?” Evy was completely thrown off guard. She thought things had been going really well. Slow, but well.

“You keep interrupting my training and you’re getting in my way, just like I thought a relationship would. If I want to keep getting better I can’t have you bugging me every 10 seconds with stupid information. I was right all along, okay: relationships aren’t for me. This was just a stupid mistake.”

Evy felt like the wind was completely knocked out of her chest. She struggled to get the words out at a volume he could hear, “Oh…ok.”

Trying to save a shred of her dignity, she turned and walked out. She’d had plans to have dinner with Sylvain and Dimitri, but her brain could barely function let alone sit through a dinner. She walked back to her dorm room on autopilot, still trying to register what the hell happened. She thought things were going very decently. A little slow on the emotional end, but she was trying to be patient with him since this was presumably his first relationship.

Dimitri was concerned when Evy didn’t show up for dinner. Even more concerned when she hadn’t just been caught up training with Felix. Even more concerned when she was completely silent and barely functional during class the next week. He was not the most observant creature, but between her sadness, Ingrid’s glares, and Felix’s rolling waves of frustration, Dimitri pieced it together: They’d been fighting.

He was not one to pry so he tried to be supportive from a casual distance, asking her to dinner and training more than normal. In the beginning she occasionally accepted his offers, but as time went on she was more and more willing to spend time with him again. He was glad that her and Felix were slowly working things out. He knew Felix could be quite stubborn.

He thought things were much better, so he was surprised to find her crying on his doorstep in the middle of the night with a few bags packed.

“Ah...Evyanna! What’s the matter?”

“I-I have to go!” She sobbed, shoving a letter in his hands with her shaky ones.

“You’re leaving the monastery?” Dimitri panicked. How bad had things with Felix gotten if she was leaving in the middle of the night?

Evy nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks, “I-I have to go home. Just read the letter. Tell the Professor I-I’m sorry I couldn’t tell her in person.”

Dimitri caught her arm as she turned to leave, pulling her into a quick hug, “Please be safe, Evyanna. And please reconsider when you have had some time. I’m sure Felix will come around.”

“What?”

Dimitri paused, “Y-you’re leaving because Felix…”

“No, Goddess, Dimitri, Felix and I broke up almost two weeks ago? I-I dunno. J-just read the letter. I really have to g-go!” She hiccupped through her tears and waved before rushing down the hall. Her and Felix had broken up that long ago? What? Here he thought things were better. Yet here he was just as clueless as he usually was.

He opened up the tear-stained letter and read, his jaw dropping as he did.

The heir to the throne: Quentin Augustus Leighton...was dead….

#felix x oc #felix hugo fraldarius #felix fraldarius #powerandgrace #chapter four #also on ao3

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