#so now it makes me feel good

[mroddmod]

everyone be quiet i'm manifesting

#the bad batch #tbb #star wars #star wars the bad batch #sw tbb #tbb omega #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #tbb echo #tbb tech #tbb hunter #mods art #mods draws #my art #YAYYYYY ITS DONE #i've been tinkering w this for like a couple weeks now i think #just on and off #whenever i was nervous about their fates or just generally sad about them i would work on this #it was supposed to make me feel better but it would usually just make me more sad 😭😭 #but i still really like how it turned out!!! so that's cool #very self indulgent but!!! whatever #i think i'll add this to my inprnt soon too :) so keep a look out for that i guess lol #okay byeeeeee #ALSO THE NEW EP WAS SO GOOD #okay bye fr

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[littlenimart]

early days in the Garden… i love thinking about Aziraphale at peak cute and naïve cherub :^]

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #the Job story in 2x02 was feeding me.. Michael Sheen is so good at making him feel young and even more self-righteous and invincible #before he has reason to doubt literally anything and be tempered by that.. he’s so cocky and smug in a lovable way #this was meant to be a quick sketch and then OOPS Too Much Rendering. but I’m free now. letting it go.

[uncanny-tranny]

This might seem like an "old man yells at cloud" situation, but it's just wild growing up and being told how dangerous distracted driving is - how, at highway speeds, you can traverse the length of a football field (100 yards, 91 meters) in a matter of seconds - how one split second sending a text while driving could result in a potential fatal crash, and then getting on the road as a driver and being surrounded by billboards. Their entire purpose is to catch one's attention, so they're lining major roads, which tend to be highways. How is it that you're told how important it is to never be distracted while driving, but still being advertised to?

At best, this type of advertising is an eyesore to pedestrians and motorists and a general waste of electricity to light it, and at worst, it is an active danger considering they are there to advertise and therefore, must catch people's attention.

I'm not even against advertising in theory, but this particular mode bothers me so much and I hate how pervasive it is - especially in large cities or highways.

#politics #i don't know much about são paulo banning marketing billboards but on paper i want that here in the USA #as a motorist it at best just makes me more anxious driving in those larger cities because i want to FOCUS ON THE ROAD #and passing 5000 billboards per mile isn't helping actually! #i've gotten good at filtering that out of my FOV but it's still fucking exhausting lol #i especially hate those modern electric billboards. despise them actually #i am aware that advertising is a critical aspect to business management in some cases... #...but it shouldn't risk the safety of the populous for you to advertise to them and i see things like billboards as risking safety... #...i feel similarly about online advertising in that so much of it risks internet user's safety... #...such as flashing ads online which risk triggering epileptic seizures in light/photo-sensitive folks #distracted driving (texting): NO >:( || distracted driving (being advertised to): YAYYYY :D #i've been driving on my own for a few years now and i've been thinking about this for ENTIRELY too long

[lazylittledragon]

do any other artists feel like. yeah you're a 'good artist' because you draw things that look nice, but like. TECHNICALLY? you're really not great

i really hate that i can recognise that yes, my art is good, but is it VARIED? is it dynamic?? is my anatomy good? is it full of texture and colour theory? do i know how to do This? can i do That? no, not really. and that's quite painful actually

#ramble #yes this is the artist's perspective bs and yes this is anxiety because it's 1am #and yes i'm forever learning and growing but also #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. #drawing my little guys is fun but i am not good enough for the industry right now and that fucking sucks #i really feel like if i walked into a studio with my portfolio right now they would laugh at me #one of those days where i wish i'd done a more useful degree y'know #i'm going back through the phase where i don't know what i'm going to be anymore and it's scary #some days i really want to give it up and never draw again and do something worthwhile because i Know my life would be easier #and i hate that something i love so much makes me feel so hopeless #signs that i should go to bed ^^^^ #i will resume my pity party tomorrow

[pommegrantaire]

well, heaven knows

that without you is how i disappear

#and live my life alone forever now #song is This is How I Disappear by MCR #i have a lot of feelings #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens fanart #aziraphale #crowley #anthony j crowley #ineffable husbands #ineffable divorce #ineffable partners #air conditioning #a/c #aziracrow #another traditional drawing with some digital edits... didn't wanna make the background solid black so u can see the individual marks #kinda adds an Effect #yes the marker was too small but listen #i really like how this turned out even though it took me weeks to edit since i'm apparently busy all the time #i love pain #pomegrantArt

[inkskinned]

she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let

and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment

and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.

and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment

and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?

to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.

and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.

you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.

#this btw is not including toxic friendships this is legit just something ive experienced MANY times now #writeblr #you ever have a friend in one of those relationships where ur like #u don't HATE their partner explicitly #but ur like. what the fuck y'all #like the weird part of being an adult is that you can't be like . CERTAIN their relationship is toxic #and also if u move too fast or push too hard u can hurt someone who is already in a scary situation so you just are like #frozen there. laughing awkwardly. saying ''haha..... yeah..... couldn't be me....'' #and like u can't tell - is this banter or does he actually think like. he's better than her. #all you can do is be there for your friend and hope they wake up to it #or ... that it really IS good #and it's just odd to you #tbh btw id rather have my friends feel safe coming to me if they have a concern about my relationship #like yes it's not ur business but it also IS bc im making u hang out with them and also ur my friend #it's a weird thing to experience as an adult bc it is such a blurry line and when u spend time #around couples that aren't like ACTUALLY ur friends but instead ''extended friend circle'' ur like #.... i don't know y'all well enough and he just called you a cow. and ur okay with that . and i don't know how to respond. #so ur like :) okay. um. go to couple's counselling i think #but also you are NOT supposed to pass judgement so it's like.... this weird limbo of feeling like you SHOULD say something #but knowing you CANNOT #idk that there's a way to resolve it!!!!!!!! it's probably a different approach person to person #edited my tags bc tumblr's new system fucked em up #PS EDIT: btw i should have said: #the pronouns in this can work in any and every direction. every gender and every sexuality and every #type of relationship tbh. even non-romantic relationships where ur like ''what do u mean ur bff calls u stupid''

[obsob]

autism 2 autism communication

#mine #original #orange overlay pink multiply layer my beloved #what hve i done today.....done some face studies!! very helpful!! #i am . beginning...to find.....a way of drawing that feels comfy to me...ouh #i will hopefully do some portfolio drawing tomorrow hehe #im going to re do my website...how it is now is. ugly. i wouldnt hire me #what else is going on...ive ordered some wool bc i hve learnt how to KNIT #im so alarmed. im going to attempt to make a cardigan i am so deeply alarmed #i need to exercise and have a bath. mmm. i will play vid game and then chores and then exercise and then eat and then bath #hve a good evening my friends

[gascreates]

emotional support frog

who will absolutely eat your hand.

#THIS FROG is a main character now #i dont make the rules #actually i do and you have to follow them #and the new rule is zuko has a badger frog and he doesn’t know what to do with it #he does not WANT the frog #it just wont leave him alone #he did not expect one of his first questions upon joining the gaang to be 'whats your pet policy' #also momo wants the frog now and it is unclear if his intentions are good #so zuko's playing it safe #abd unfortunately looking overprotective of his frog in the process #atla #zuko #also feel free to bug me for individual files #i can add em under the cut #when im not feeling lazy

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

He was just being a silly little guy!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jin guangyao #wen ruohan #nie mingjue #lan xichen #JGY's character is the zigging and zagging guy of all time #We love a little meow meow that can bite and scratch and kill you. #We also love a little meow meow that can mewl pathetically! #'He's evil now and torturing his former friend?" ZAG TIME: He's a spy and feels soooo awful about it!! #ZIG TIME: He (probably) didn't need to go that deep into the role and kill as many people as he did. #Something I really love about the sworn brother trio is how they reflect how our feelings distort our perception of others. #Lan Xichen represents how when we love/care about someone -anything they do can be endearing. They aren't manipulative: they are clever. #Its less about rose tinted glasses and more about reframing every look you get of them. The constant justifications you make for them. #They just need a space to be loved! “They care for me so I will stand by them no matter what to show them I'm there for them!” #While NMJ represents how when you dislike someone - Everything they do is an affront or proof of their foul character. #Everything is a sign. Everything is 'proof' they are just as awful as you want them to be. Every 'good trait' is twisted. #The problem is that most people are just human. They are flawed and they are capable of good and bad things. #Meng Yao's motivations are very complex. Yet he's extremely human all the same. He isn't the saint nor the monster of the story.

[ruporas]

feast (ID in alt)

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #tw blood #im posting this so late because october escaped me Suddenly.. hello.... #i wanted to make it a photoset with this other vampire vw wip but i don't think i'm finishing it any time soon and the mood of it is #completely different anyway. also i don't think i ever shared anything about my vampire au on here !!! it's all old art by now so im shy lo #but maybe i'll do a photodump of it. long story short vash is a vampire since birth and ww is a human vampire hunter that turns during thei #travels together due to EoM experiments + getting vash to drink from him at some point. #humans turn once they get bitten but bc ww has been experimented on #& got bitten by a bunch of human turned vampires thruout his hunts he thought it wouldn't be a problem for vash to drink from him but alas. #theyre both ok though theyre traveling together definitely not hating themselves for what theyve become and feeling guilty for what theyve #done to each other. theyre completely normal about it. the biting part is really appealing to me in vampire aus so i draw it a lot but #in reality vash only drank from ww once and ww mightve done it twice under the realization he might actually die otherwise #since he wont drink from humans after being turned.... he's combatting the 5 stages of grief at all times #if this is all nonsense im sorry DMGKSDF I'M NOT good at explaining and this au came from nowhere in the depths of my mind its a mess #ruporas art

[toomanywordsnllines]

Sometimes... the world can be a little too much.

#cod #call of duty #cod mw2 #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty ghost #simon ghost riley #manysart #manyrambles #vent in the tags beware #drew a little ghost to see if it made me feel a little better and it did... maginarly... #I have been having the roughest month (roughest year reallly) of my life mental wise... #I feel so drained everything is too much everything is too little #it's like my brain is covered in static and not the good kind #I'm exausted mentally #my nerves feel rubbed raw #feels like I'm so close to snapping #I don't even know why I'm like this that's why it's so frustrating #now I'm gonna work on my assigment that does involve soap so that makes me a little happy #personal stuff yee haw

[theoldkyokodied]

Uploading all my Tomgreg art at once from the past few week before season 4 hits, who knows in what kind of mental state i'm gonna be once it does :')

#tomgreg #succession #dont even talk to me i started watching this show when i had nothing to do at work and now i watch it with averiel my good friend averiel #and we are going to watch s4 together and i feel physically ill from bein so excited #so ya thats what ive been up to... anyway. i love these idiots they desever nothing but the worst (affectionate) #im also a tomshiv lover btw. im the one who yells 'THIS IS HOW TOMSHIV CAN STILL WIN' while they are actively losing on screen #thats the kind of person i am #dont look at me (lying on the floor) #okay i was not going to say stuff in the tags and let the art speak for itself but i NEED to point out details in the wine Painting.. #i put a lot of work into that one. thinly veiled metaphors and symbolism yknow.. #greg is gripping the stem of the wine glass with his full fist. tom and greg are dressed in the same outfit (sock garters included) #greg look appalled but he is not doing anything about the spill. tom is fondly pouring greg more and more wine. he is doing him a favor #i colored the red wine the same way i would color blood :) oh and tom is not really touching greg #only holding the chair in place. greg is making himself look smaller than he is like usual #oh and @ the person who said that it's the inverse of the tom and nate scene i love the way you think. i did not think of that before #but god. yeah. i actually thought about the scene change from when roman uhh.. christens his office in s1. the one with the coffee machine #i always go insane at that cut. this is not exactly the same since it's more.. about emotions but yknow.. it can be.. the same...

[ryllen]

A question I have just recently,

can Sebek handle spicy?

this is what i generally think of fae.

tho i think,

lilia knows spicy spices from his travel.

even tho in dragon form, malleus breathes fire from his mouth, and fire is hot, it might be like the kind of fire that doesn't hurt him in the first place

sebek father might bring spicy spice from human world with him, but since i think of him as a mellow man, he might not be interested in spicy food in the first place

#honestly it makes me wonder all the nrc students ability to handle spiciness & i wish everyone would start putting them into tiers #twst #twisted wonderland #do i tag this as sebek #i do want to know what others think of him #sebek zigvolt #i think the octas would be very bad at it #but floyd probably keeps on challenging it so he gains tolerance over it #riddle would be very bad with it #ace would be pretty good #but deuce would be a little less #or do u think punk him would dare other punks on spicy food #who would shed tears #who would break a sweat #who would eat like it's nothing #who would wail asking the great seven to take them to the after world #i am just wondering bcs of the rabbit sausage roll in deuce hometown #leona who never lift a finger finally break a sweat from spicy food #who knows we even see tears in his eyes while he endures it silently #can vil stay beautiful eating spicy food #despite his tough claim can epel handle spicy #anyhow do u know there's samyang 1/2 spicy now #that's the only one i can eat without suffering like actually enjoying it #idia i feel like he would wrinkle from spicy food #but what if he is some connoisseur of instant noodles so he had been eating spicy ones quite a lot #my brother always love to see me suffer over spiciness

[ahalliance]

crowley perhaps did the bravest thing in his 6000 years of existence and was greeted with his worst nightmare in return. i’m sooo incredibly normal

#good omens #good omens s2 spoilers #go2 spoilers #gos2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 #i am . devastated #that’s the closest word to it #but fuck . phenomenal season and ending for making me feel so many shrimp emotions #jay rambles #shoutout to ineffable bureaucracy . real winners in all that #nina and maggie won too because now that theyre on the same page they’ll actually be able to develop a healthy relationship #unlike SOME OTHER PEOPLE #1k

[watchingwisteria]

im so sorry i get it now i really do, the gay angels have me shaking screaming crying at all hours of the day and night, they mean everything to me i am literally thinking about them all the time and what it would mean to love someone steadily and silently through eternity, what it would mean to love across the lines of a divine war of supposed good and evil, what it would mean to carve out a space for oneself and ones lover in no man’s land, in the grey and moral ambiguity when you were created to be black and white without blemish. god i love them so much i just

#update from the tags : posted this after watching s1 knowing the end of s2 #and i was like hm hope im not too offbase #but imagine my surprise when they literally said ‘i love this space we carved for ourselves’ #I WAS SICK #ineffable husbands #<< u dont get it. i used to see that and it meant nothing to me. now its like a knife inside me #good omens #aziracrow #crowley #aziraphale #ur girl watches good omens #experiencing full brain rot. like every song is about them somehow #im imaginging edits in my head bc i do nawt have time to make them for real #i just bought the book and i am about to devour it #lol another update #the drama in this post is so HDISJSISB but i was FEELING IT #i was GOING THROUGH IT… #and when i think abt them for too long i still am