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artificial-transmutations · 8 months

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Your wish is my command

People knew when James approached pretty soon. Even with his 31 years, he still pretty much looked - and behaved - like the popular high school boy he used to be. He was loud, obnoxious and always surrounded by a group of friends - mostly his male buddies, but from time to time also one of his cardboard cutout girlfriends.

With his youthful looks and beautiful face, it wasn't very difficult for him to find a new girl - a fact he well knew and exploited. So, in general, his relationships rarely lasted longer than a few weeks or months until James got tired of his current girlfriend and dumped her for a new one.

Cathrine was one of them, a brunette smart girl who got picked up by James four weeks ago. Even though she quickly fell for him for his good looks and natural charm, she slowly felt annoyed by his constant bragging and immature behavior. However, she had agreed to let the group of friends hang out in her grandmother's antique shop this evening, a decision she started to regret already.

"Hey, look at these things. These are pretty weird, aren't they? What's this even supposed to be?"

"That's a gargoyle. They usually guard churches or the like. Or are supposed to bring luck." Cathrine explained.

"Hah! Bring luck. More like bringing ugliness. How is anyone supposed to see luck in that, huh?" James laughed and prodded the figure.

Catherine grimaced. "Honey, please don't touch anything. I had to promise grandma that nothing would be broken."

"Relax, Cathy, everything's fine! I'm not gonna break anything. Hey, do you think grandma would miss one of her creepy statues?"

"James, please!"

"Okay okay", he joked and looked around the shelves before something caught his eye.

"Hey, guys, check this out!"

He quickly stepped closer and, ignoring Catherines sigh, took the object from the blue pillow it was placed on.

"Cool! Is that a magic lamp, like from Aladdin?" he asked. Really, the brass object looked like a prop from the film. An old-fashioned oil lamp, with an oriental flair to it.

"Please, be careful with that. I don't know much about it, but I know it's an antique and really expensive."

"Yeah, yeah", James waved her off and continued to examine the lamp. By now his friends had gathered around him to watch. Giving them a show, he rubbed the lamp theatrically, but of course, nothing happened. Nevertheless, it brought him cheers and hollers from his buddies.

"The genie is just shy!", one of them joked.

"Oh, a shy one? Perhaps it's a genie lady that just needs some proper motivation?" James immediately agreed.

He raised the lamp to his face and made a kiss-face. "Don't be shy, miss genie! Oh, what is that?"

He held the lamp to his ear as if he was listening to a voice from inside.

"You want me too... what? Oh, you're being naughty miss genie! But I'm not complaining; your wish is my command!"

With that, James lowered the lamp to his groin and held it in front of his package. When he began humping the brass object, his buddies were already laughing tears. Catherine was a little annoyed on how immature James acted but couldn't help but smile as well.

What happened next, however, came as a surprise, not only for James but for Catherine and the guys, too:

In the span of seconds, James' body became engulfed in blue smoke. No, that wasn't exactly right: A more precise description was that James' body *became* blue smoke. It began at his hands, holding the lamp and quickly spread up his arms. The brass oil lamp fell to the ground as the blue smoke that had once been James' hands had not enough substance anymore to hold it.

But even dropping the item didn't stop the process. His entire upper body was turning into the ethereal blue smoke.

"Guys... Guys! What's happening?", he yelled out, but his buddies had no idea either. They were watching, perplexed, as James' body began dissolving. After a few moments, only smoke remained where moments before, James had been standing. Then, suddenly, the smoke was being sucked into the lamp, leaving James' friends and girlfriend behind in shock.

James found himself floating in twilight. He had been caught completely off-guard by his body dissolving into smoke, and he didn't have time to react or run away then. Now there was just... nothing around him. Gray twilight, and apparently no gravity surrounded him. There was some sort of light and air, but this world he now floated in lacked any point of reference whatsoever.

James checked his body, but apparently, it was alright. No sign of the blue smoke, just his regular body was hanging suspended in nothingness.

"Hello? Guys?", he tried, but nobody answered.

"Guys! Where are you?", he shouted out again, but the gray space just swallowed his words.

Suddenly, a tingling feeling ran over his body. When he looked down again, he noticed his clothes one by one fading away, until all that was left on him was his pair of underwear.

"What the fuck is happening to me?", he mumbled, a bit panicked.

The strange feeling he had only intensified however, as his very body was changing - again. However, this time, it didn't dissolve into smoke. Instead, it felt like his skin was stretching - or rather, the amount of his body was stretching. His limbs were growing and thickening, while his torso widened. At the same time, his skin became darker, reminding him more and more of a middle eastern heritage rather than his usual fair complexion.

His chest and arms ballooned out with muscle. It wasn't like he had been skinny or scrawny before - but now he didn't just look fit - he began to look more and more like a sort of body builder - one of those muscle bulls you only saw in TV or in the gym. His six-pack was becoming more visible, and his shoulders stretched wide and broad.

His legs, too, thickened and swelled, but that wasn't all. His thighs grew not just wide, but thick as well, and his calves became almost disproportionately large. Above all else, hair began to spread on his now darker skin. But it wasn't the blonde hair James was used to having on his head - it was coarse and thick hair that was dark and clearly visible on his muscular chest and arms.

At the same time, his haircut changed. While the hair on his head turned black as well, it became stylish, yet unlike anything James had tried before. The sides buzzed short and the top gelled up, he was beginning to look more and more like a young Arab hunk, perhaps from the Iran. As if on cue, dark stubble set in and covered his chin that was becoming squarer by the minute. James didn't have a mirror, but his fingers were exploring his new facial features in disbelief. As a final treat, his boxer shorts morphed into a tight pair of a simple blue fabric underwear that filled out as his manhood began to take more and more place, leaving behind his previous pretty average bulge and settling on a huge, almost obscene size.

The changes had finally stopped and James found himself suspended in the gray, twilight world, confused, scared, and sporting a very new look. He had never thought of himself as attractive before, but the changes he had just gone through had made him a prime stud.

However, he hardly had time to react, as he felt a pulling sensation all through his being. The scenery changed and he found himself back in the shop - but now, he was somehow floating a bit off the ground and looked down to one of his buddies, Greg, who held the lamp in his hand and had apparently just rubbed it.

"Whoa!", Greg exclaimed. "Who are you?"

"Guys, it's me, James!" James answered. "I somehow got sucked into the lamp thing and now your wish is my command, master."

A moment of silence followed and James realized what he just said. Despite his impressive muscular new body, the last words, which he had not meant to say at all, had sounded respectful and submissive.

"What is this bullshit? Who are you and what are you talking about?" Greg asked.

"I'm... I'm James" James stuttered. "And, apparently, your wish is my command. Just say 'I wish' and I will make your heart’s desire come true."

Again, James had only partial control over what he was saying. The last part had come out without him meaning to.

Greg was taken aback somewhat. "I wish...? I dunno. You're pretty gay like that!"

James only realized what was happening as he felt a mighty surge of power move through his body and heard himself say: "And so it shall be."

Did Greg just wish for James to be gay?! Luckily nothing seemed to be happening, until all heads turned as Catherine exhaled a low surprised moan.

James watched in horror as now her body was changing. Her breast flattened in a matter of seconds and her hair shortened to a stylish men's cut. At the same time, her body widened and her shoulders became broad. Her skin became rougher and little hairs spread all over her body. By the moment, her clothes were becoming too tight on a lot of places and too loose on some others. Catherine's face became a masculine version of itself, just like it would look like if she had been born a boy. Her nose was now strong and prominent, and her jawline was becoming stronger. Her face, too, was covered with a dark stubble that continued down her neck a bit before stopping at about where her now pronounced Adam's apple sat. When she let out another shocked noise, it was at least an octave lower than before.

Her new lean masculine look was completed by a bulge in her pants that quickly filled out with the last part of her new distinctively male anatomy.

At first, James had hated to watch Catherine's... No, Kit's feminine features melt away like that. But the longer he watched the better Kit looked, James decided. When his new cock popped into existence, James even felt himself get a bit hard from watching his lover. Kit was his soulmate, his one true love. James didn't care how gay it was - he liked men - and this man especially.

He turned back to Greg with mixed feelings. On the one hand, he was happy about having Kit, but on the other hand, he was horrified about what was happening to him. He needed to beg him to stop!

But instead, all that came out was: "You have two wishes left, master."

Check out this awesome writer as well!

If you like my stories, you can use my riot page as a tip jar. There will only be tiny bits of exclusive content there, though, so it's mainly just that - a tip jar :)

#male transformation #straight to gay #muscle transformation #racial transformation

554 notes · View notes

weirdkpopgirl · 1 year

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Starving Yourself | Dream Reaction #6

Reaction: When their gf skips meals

Genre: Angst, slight fluff

Warnings: subtle mention of eating disorders, body image issues, lots of crying (I apologize)

Word Count: 3435k

Author's Note: I've had this subject in the back of my mind for a while now. A few days ago, I just got into it and thankfully finished today. I want to first credit my friend who helped me come up with scenarios for this lol.

Just a little disclaimer, I wanted to say something for those with poor body image. I feel like you hear things like this a lot, and you might read more things like "oh I also struggle too," and "please don't feel bad about yourself." When I was working on this, I did write some of the stories based on experience. So I don't have any right to advise on improving your self-esteem or working to have better eating habits. I'd be a hypocrite if I said those things. All I can say is that I know how what self-hatred is like, and how it can take you down some dark paths.

Please stay strong. I am very sorry for how long this note is 😅

~ ~ ~

MARK

His life was going normally, being a workaholic as always. At the same time, he felt more at ease since he was dating you. The other night, you guys went out on a movie date to see the new Black Panther film. It wasn’t until near the end of the movie that he noticed the popcorn you bought was barely touched. But knowing your slight dislike for greasy foods, Mark didn't think too much about it.

After dropping you off, he returned to his dorm. He was met by the Dream members who appeared to have been waiting for him. They watched quietly as their leader removed his shoes and took his jacket off.

“Hyung?” Jisung asked cautiously.

“Yeah? What’s up?” The Dreamies exchanged looks with each other that he couldn’t quite read. Was it uncertainty?

“I don’t think he knows,” Chenle murmured, causing Mark’s brows to furrow in confusion.

“Know what?”

Chenle glanced at his hyung, and back toward the members beside him. But he was going to tell Mark the truth no matter what.

“That (Y/n) collapsed at her university last week.”

Mark stepped back, clearly shocked by this news. “What? Why?!”

“Apparently she wasn’t eating much,” answered Jaemin.

“She’s your girlfriend. Didn’t you notice something was off?” Haechan’s voice raised slightly. As one of your good friends, the singer couldn’t help but show his irritation. He knew Mark had been so caught up in work recently. But you’ve been struggling for a long time now.

Now in distress, Mark ran a hand through his hair as he searched his memory for anything he might’ve missed. He paused for a moment, remembering the popcorn from earlier. Then he was dashing back out the door, despite it starting to rain.

That was how you heard the sound of your doorbell ringing close to midnight. Luckily you were awake, but you were surprised to see Mark soaking wet. He also looked as if he was about to cry any second.

Despite your befuddlement, you pulled the man inside so he could change into some dry clothes. Mark would bring up to you what the guys told him earlier. At that moment, you began to regret hiding your problems from your boyfriend. You’ve never seen him so worried before.

You spent the rest of the evening—or morning cuddling in bed. Mark kept repeating how much he loved you and apologized for making you feel like you couldn’t come to him. All he sincerely wished for was for you to be happy and healthy. He wasn't going to allow another incident to happen.

✎__________________________________________________________

RENJUN

You had spent nearly an hour getting ready to meet up with Renjun’s parents. Seeing them was the first thing on your list for a weekend trip to your boyfriend’s hometown. It’s been nearly a year since you last met his parents, which made you more nervous than usual.

Renjun’s eyes lit up when you finally came out of the bathroom. He instantly recognized the white blouse with a dark blue floral print and the matching blue skirt you were wearing. It was the outfit he bought you not too long ago.

“Wow, you look so pretty!” He exhaled. There was no hiding how taken away he was with you.

Even though you didn’t agree with his compliment, you thanked him shyly. Renjun noticed something wasn’t quite right pretty fast. The previous times you were about to meet his parents didn’t feel like this. But he couldn’t pinpoint why things felt strange with you.

Deciding to not dwindle on it, you guys left the hotel to meet up with Renjun’s parents at a restaurant. His mother quickly stood up when she spotted you two coming in. While she happily hugged her son, you exchanged greetings with his father.

“It’s so nice to see you again, (Y/n),” Mr. Huang smiled warmly.

You bowed your head politely, “Thank you. I’m sorry it’s been so long.”

Mrs. Huang pulled away from her son to get a better look at you. Her eyes filled with slight concern, and she took your hands. “My Dear, you’ve gotten skinnier!”

That's what it was. Renjun now knew what he was wondering about earlier. Preoccupied with carrying on a conversation with his mom and dad, you didn’t notice how he observed you throughout dinner. He waited until you guys came back to your hotel room to confront you.

“(Y/n), are you okay?”

Your body tensed slightly at his question. “Of course I am. What makes you ask that?”

“It’s just—you’ve become so thin lately. Also, you barely ate anything tonight, and you love Chinese food,” He pointed out. “Sweetheart, what’s going on?”

Honestly, you felt like you’ve been playing a game over the past few weeks. Wondering how long you could hide your unhealthy eating habits from Renjun. Of course, it didn’t take him very long.

Your eyes dropped to the floor. “Nothing—I just haven’t been hungry recently.”

“(Y/n)-ah, please don’t lie. You have to eat,” Renjun chastised.

He walked over to your side and lifted your chin with the tips of his fingers. “Now I know why you’ve been so tired lately. If you keep this up, you can faint or something worse might happen.”

“I’m sorry. I guess, I just wanted to look my best for you and your parents,” You admitted, after a short pause.

In return, Renjun pressed his lips against your forehead. “For the record, my parents love you, and so do I. You don’t need to change anything about yourself. Especially if your health is at risk.”

You melted into his touch, and let yourself sink into his embrace. Renjun was always there to reassure you that you were more than enough for him.

✎__________________________________________________________

JENO

Jeno and you were a newer couple, after having met through mutual friends at university. His major was computer programming, while you studied creative writing. So your schedules were different, but you did share one class.

Your boyfriend was the one to convince you to take dance. Honestly, you were a little reluctant at first. But you ended up signing up for the class to spend more time with him. Since Jeno was more athletic, dancing was a lot easier for him. You…not so much. It was still fun, despite the increasing levels of anxiety the class gave you every week.

One afternoon, you met up after both of your classes finished. That’s when he asked to eat lunch together later. Yeah, a typical thing for a just-got-into-a-relationship boyfriend.

You agreed to his sweet offer. But you didn’t think when you jokingly added that it felt weird since you usually ate one meal a day. Jeno turned to you in astonishment.

“Eo? Only once?!”

Confused by his reaction, you slowly nodded. “Yeah…”

He stopped walking and moved his hand to your shoulder.

“(Y/n)-ah, that isn’t healthy,” He lightly scolded.

But you quickly brushed off his concern for your eating habits. You took his hand and dragged him to the school’s dance studio. “It’s not a big deal, Jeno-ssi. We better hurry, class starts soon.”

In spite of Jeno being slightly wary, you seemed to be learning the new dance routine fairly smoothly. That was until you were changing formations and you started to become dizzy. Huffing quietly, you shook your head to dismiss the slow onset of a headache and kept up with the next moves. This feeling was something you were used to whenever you did any intense physical activity.

However, things were different when the room suddenly began to spin. Your legs were the first to give out, shortly after. Wincing, you pressed your knuckles against your forehead. Gasps and words you couldn’t process only irritated you more. Fortunately, Jeno rushed to pick you up off the ground and carried you to the health office.

The nurse checked up on you after getting settled. “Did you eat anything today?” She asked.

Jeno couldn’t hide a scoff when you told the woman you had. He frowned when the nurse advised you to rest. Once she left, Jeno allowed himself to sigh.

“(Y/n), you need to eat more.”

“I-I think I just need rest,” You contradicted him.

The boy crossed his arms in persistence. “How can you rest when you have a headache because you don’t eat three meals a day?”

His tone softened a bit when he realized how fatigued you were. Lecturing wasn’t going to help you in this state. With another sigh, he made his way to the chair you were sitting in.

“Rest for now,” He said gently. “I’ll bring you something to eat.”

Jeno petted your head and pecked you on the lips before dashing out of the room. You waited anxiously for about 15 minutes before your boyfriend came back with assorted types of kimbap. He must’ve bought some from the nearby stand owned by a halmeoni.

You almost cried when he opened the wrapper and fed you. For the first time, someone showed you that they cared. Though you were both early in the relationship, you couldn’t stop yourself from falling deeper for Lee Jeno. Most likely, love.

✎__________________________________________________________

HAECHAN

Due to upcoming exams, you and Haechan spent your Saturday afternoon in the library preparing. Studying on a weekend may not be an ideal date in Haechan’s opinion. At the same time, he knew how stressed you got when exam season came around. But that didn’t stop him from complaining now and then.

“Aish, I missed breakfast because Jaemin was taking too long,” Haechan groaned.

He pouted when he received no response from you. His salty mood prevented him from getting anything done. On the other hand, you were ultra-focused on finishing up an essay for one of your English classes. However, you snapped out of your zone by Haechan’s hand tapping on the corner of your laptop.

“Are you hungry too? Did you have breakfast?”

Almost instinctively, you replied to his question with a simple “no.” You shook your head when he asked if your roommate was also running late this morning.

“I just forgot,” You said absentmindedly.

He watched your eyes flicker back to the computer screen in front of you. It kind of seemed like you wanted to end the conversation quickly. But you couldn’t escape your boyfriend that easily.

Then he asked, “How do you forget to eat breakfast?”

The cool expression on your face slowly faded, as you stopped to think for a moment. Lately, finals haven't only been your source of stress. This past month was spent traveling back and forth between Seoul and Pohang to take care of your sick mother. On top of that, you were balancing school life and hiding your problems from everyone. You guessed self-neglect was a result of all that.

Haechan noticed your sudden change and instantly became worried when tears formed in your eyes. He proceeded to reach his hand across the table to take yours.

“(Y/n), is everything okay?”

You promptly clasped your opposite hand over your mouth to muffle your sobs. At least you still had half the mind to cry quietly, remembering you were at a library. Usually, you were the last person to have an emotional outburst. But Haechan’s question made you realize how not okay you were.

Fortunately, your boyfriend was quick to act and rushed to your side. His arms wrapped around your shoulders, holding you in a tight embrace that would hopefully calm you down.

A few minutes later, Haechan closed your laptop. “Okay, you’re going to stop thinking about school for the rest of the day.”

“Hyuck…” You wanted to argue, though you knew he was already standing up and packing your things away.

“You can tell me what’s been bothering you over lunch,” He added, “Does jjamppong sound okay?”

Haechan had no idea what was causing you to break down, or why you weren’t taking care of yourself. But getting you to eat was his priority, and he started by recommending your favorite dish.

Since then, he’s become a lot more protective and gone out of his way to take care of you more. Whenever he was down, you were always there to support him. So that’s what he was going to do for you.

✎__________________________________________________________

JAEMIN

The first thing he did after getting out of bed was to look for you. He was a little sulky that you didn’t get to wake up together. Especially since he hasn’t seen you in one month and two weeks. Jaemin loved his job, but he hated how it also brought this distance in between you two. What made him feel worse was how you never complained. Not even this time, when he showed up at your apartment at one a.m. Instead of scolding him for coming over at such a crazy hour or for walking to your place in the cold, you simply led him into your room to get some much-needed sleep.

Luckily, it didn’t take long for Jaemin to find you. He was greeted by one of his favorite aromas when entering the kitchen. And there you were at the counter, carefully pouring a pot of steaming dark liquid into a blue mug. Watching you he realized you had gotten up early to make coffee for him.

As his heart swelled with a dozen emotions, he walked up to stand behind you. Barely startled by his presence, you merely glanced upward to see the tired grin on his face.

“Did you sleep well?” He responded with a delicate kiss on your exposed neck.

His arms circled your waist, gently pulling your back to meet his chest. It was then, did he notice how his girlfriend’s waist was practically nonexistent, or in other words, thin. Thinner than usual and definitely not healthy.

Jaemin’s smile contorted into a look of concern. Slightly pulling away, he turned to you.

“Jagiya, have you been eating well?” His tone was soft, despite his deep voice.

Automatically, you could tell your boyfriend wasn’t speaking in a casual small talk way. Nonetheless, you pretended not to be fazed.

“I’ve been on a diet…” You set the coffee mug down.

He frowned. “What kind, if you don’t mind me asking?”

You cursed in your head, as you hurriedly made up a lie.

“A low-carb diet,” You tried your best to sound assertive.

“A low-carb diet or a no-carb diet?”

You froze in place when you noticed the hint of anger in the last part of his question. Jaemin slowly turned you around to face him. “(Y/n), be honest. Have you been eating well?”

Several seconds of silence passed by, as you couldn’t even look him in the eye.

“No.” There was a catch in your throat, as your lips quivered.

Jaemin brought you back into his embrace when you began to cry. His chin rested on the top of your head, as your tears soaked his shirt. His heart broke at the sound of your sobs. All he could do was press kisses into your hair, and pat your back.

You sniffed, “I just…I just see pictures of us, and I hate how I look when you’re so perfect.”

“(Y/n)-ah…”

“I know it sounds stupid. But I want to be a girlfriend who is also beautiful.”

Jaemin cupped the right side of your face and sighed, “(Y/n)-ah, you’ve always been beautiful to me. You don’t need to lose weight or do anything else to prove that.”

As comforting as his words were, Jaemin knew that it would take more than that to make you feel better. From then on, he didn’t miss a chance to shower you with compliments and affection. He loved you and had no problem making sure you believed that.

✎__________________________________________________________

CHENLE

You were currently on opposite sides of the room. Chenle was watching Instagram videos on his phone, and you were writing the next chapter to a story you started a while ago. This was agreeably considered hanging out with each other. Doing your own thing until someone broke the silence. And this time, it was Chenle.

His stomach growling did not go ignored by him. Naturally, he pulled up a delivery food app. He then paused and looked over to you who was typing away on your computer.

“(Y/n)-ahhh, I’m ordering food. What do you want?”

“I don’t know,” You replied, without looking up.

Chenle sat up in his spot on the couch. “Do you want tteokbokki?”

“Um, I’m not in the mood for tteokbokki.” He saw your head shake behind the computer.

“Jokbal?”

“Haechan will be upset if we eat that without him.”

“How about tonkatsu?”

“Eh…”

“Okay, what about-”

Losing concentration, you shut your laptop in frustration. “I’m not hungry! Just order something for yourself.”

“I want to eat with you though,” He whined. You closed your eyes for a moment and sighed before starting to speak again.

“But—”

“No buts. You’re going to come here and help me choose something.”

Just as you opened your mouth to protest, Chenle already decided he had enough. He lifted you from your chair which earned him an “are you crazy?” look. Then he brought you to where he was previously sitting. While doing so, he noticed that you were very light.

“How are you not hungry?” Chenle asked. “Your stomach is practically crying out to me.”

You wrapped your arms around your waist self-consciously. “You’re exaggerating, Chenle.”

Even though you made it sound like not a big deal, Chenle had a feeling there was an underlying problem here. He knew that you had a small appetite, but having no desire to eat was separate. For someone who was such a big foodie, the idea of his girlfriend starving herself worried him.

“We haven’t had a meal together in so long,” Chenle pretended to sulk. “But if you really don’t want to eat, I won’t force you.”

Ugh, you just couldn’t resist the rare look of sadness on the boy’s face. He knew you hated to be guilty.

So with a sigh, you slowly made a new suggestion. “Actually…maybe we can get tteokbokki. Can we just share the bowl?”

As if he wasn’t moping a second ago, Chenle smiled and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. “Of course. Anything for you, Cutie.”

✎__________________________________________________________

JISUNG

He sat patiently in the lobby, waiting for you who was at a doctor's appointment. You insisted this was nothing but a normal check-up. But that didn’t stop Jisung from accompanying you. He stood up in slight surprise when you came out earlier than expected.

“(Y/n)-ah! You’re done?” You bobbed your head and grabbed his hand with a small smile.

Jisung noticed you were being quieter than usual during the drive to your place. But he thought you might be tired from a long day of classes before having to visit the doctor’s office. You’d probably feel better when you got back home.

Once you guys arrived, Jisung was left alone when you went to change into more comfortable clothes. As he plopped down on your small couch, his eyes darted to the medical papers you had previously left on the coffee table. Out of habit, Jisung picked up the papers to organize them.

However, your recorded weight on the first page caught him off guard. His eyes widened in horror at the number. He knew you were small, especially compared to his size. But he didn’t think you were underweight to the point that it was dangerous. This must’ve been why you barely said anything earlier.

Tears flooded his eyes in an instant when he saw you walk out of the room. Suddenly confused as to why your boyfriend was crying, your lips parted to ask what was wrong. Then you spotted the slightly crumpled papers in his hands.

“Jisung—I can explain,” You spoke calmly, in an attempt to keep your voice stable.

Jisung looked at you in despair. “Is this why I haven’t seen you eat lately? Or how you don’t want to go shopping together anymore?”

Your confirmed silence made him feel worse. Regardless he rushed up to hug you, engulfing your small frame into his taller figure. The two of you stayed in that position for a long time. Your fingers stroked his back as you also tried to calm him down. You made sure to reassure him that you knew you had a problem and were going to try to build better eating habits. Jisung would offer any support he could give you.

✎__________________________________________________________

1K notes · View notes

olivia091108 · 2 months

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HEYY gal!! Love your stuff, could I req a fic where reader is the guitarist in H.I.M and is Bams celeb crush ( he’s still a celeb ofc ) buttt hope Yk what I mean!! 😭🫶

Yesss I’ve been listening to H.I.M and I’m really excited to write this hope it’s good

Guitar strings and romantic strings

Summary: filming HIMs new mv

Pairing: bam margera x reader

Word count: 1.6k

We are filming our new music video buried alive by love today and I had to get up at the ass crack of dawn to meet everyone at some mansion in la so my manager got me on a plane as soon as saying that the others were already there. I hate filming music videos because it’s always some grouchy 60 year old who has never even heard of us before but this time bam margera is actually directing the whole thing.

I’ve met him a few times with the rest of the band but he didn’t really take a liking to me he just wanted to talk to the boys. It kinda annoyed me cos I thought he seemed pretty cool and wanted to get to know him. I’m gonna make it my goal that by the time he’s going back to the states I’ve had at least 1 good conversation with him.

A cab picks me up from the airport and it doesn’t take too long to get to the set. Once I’ve paid the driver I’m quickly rushed in by random people telling me that I need to be quick and some girls come over with an outfit telling me to change. They’ve given me a black mini skirt wich is very mini and a black zip up top that shows of my tits.

I quickly walk over to where the band is greeting them quick. Then I walk over to bam ready to strike up a conversation.

“Hey bam I haven’t seen you in ages how are you?” He stares at me for a sec and I thought he was just going to ignore me but he nods his head

“Yeah Umm Im good” he quickly says before going over to frantz.I turn in my heal and go see what ville is up to. We are taking for a while before bam tells us to play the song the whole way through so I grab my guitar and wait for Jukka to count me in.

Once we finish playing Juliet Lewis arrives since she's going to be the girl playing billed love interest in the music video I was excited to see her I loved her stuff.

Once she had introduced herself to everyone and Joe was setting up the shots and lenses whatnot me and Juliet started talking and we hit it off we have a lot in common and honestly it was nice for the both of us to have another girl around.

but soon she had to film so I walked over to Joe and bam and started to watch what was happening I stood behind bam leaning on the back of the chair and would glance over at him every few seconds. I wanted to talk to him but I didn't know what about so I said the first think that came to my head.

“What colour would you be?” As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted it.

Uhhhm I don’t know what you mean he says before turning away from me

“Like yk if you were a coulour what one would you be for instance I’d love to be like a magentary purple but I hate to say I think I’d be like a greeny blue but not the nice turquoise more like a dull boring one” I started to rant by accident and bam just kinda stared.

It was awkward for a sec of me waiting for his answer and if I’m honest he looked bored but thank god Joe was there. “I’d be orange I think”

“Omg yess you so would like a nice tangerine kind” I say getting excited which we both laughed at and I can see bams lip curl up almost like a smile.

“Your’e turn bam” i say putting my attention on him again. I don’t know yellow?

Nooo no definitely not you would be like either a nice navy blue but like lighter by a smidge you are like a nice purple like when I say purple the one You think of but more punk.

“Oh yeah” Joe chimes in before focusing on the camera making sure to follow ville and just like that conversation done and he only said like 10 words maybe I think I’m just gonna give into the fact that not everyone has to like me.

“Cut”bam yells and ville and Juliet walk over listening to what will happen in the next bit before Juliet comes over to me. “What’s got you in a sour mood?”

“Bam doesn’t like me” I say sulking like a little girl with my head in my palms. “Are you crazy of course he does”

“No he doesn’t eveytime I even try to talk to him he just isn’t interested and just shut me down straight away and he can barely even look at me” and do you know what I hear from me telling her my struggles

Laughing

She’s laughing.

I giggle and push her “it’s not funny I’m serious”she’s hysterical now and trying to get a sentence out

“Y/n I love you but your’e really dumb” i look at her confused not knowing what she meant. “He likes you”

“No I just told you he can’t stand me”

“Y/n listen he has a crush on you it’s obvious he can’t look at you and I hear him stutter and fumble his words kudus he would probably implode if you even touch him” I think about what she’s saying but I can’t wrap my head around it

“Nah there’s no way”

“Ok yk what go over there and tell him his hair is messed up and quickly fix it for him and then you will believe me.”

Ok I will I get up and walk over to bam and ville sitting in their chairs pretending to listen to their conversation for a sec before looking towards bam and interrupting ville.” Sorry your hair is kinda crazy” I lean up and mess with it a bit not even realising his face is practically in my boobs. But I rake my acrylic nails through it and ruffle it softly before removing my hands and seeing his face the same colour as my guitar.

I then smile to myself and restrain myself from running to Juliet. Once I get to her I smile and admit she was right followed by an expected “I told you”

“What do I do? Do I ask him out? Wait I don’t even know if I like hi-“

“Oh please cmon y/n of course you do you wouldn’t want him to like you that much if you didn’t. I blush at her words realising she’s right.”

“Please help me” I put my hands together and beg her batting my eyelashes at her. “Alright we’re going to the bar later and you are gonna ask him out their simple”

The rest of the day I am just thinking about bam and how I was so oblivious about his feelings and mine. Want a drink? I snap my head up so fast I heard a crack in my neck I look to see bam standing infront of me waiting for an answer. “Oh um just some water please”

Once the days over we all walk to a bar down the road and straight away get a round in of beers. Im embarrassed to say I’m a huge leightweight so after 2 rounds I’m on the brink of drunk and when I’m drunk I am very touchy so I’ve heard.

Remembering what Juliet told me to do I stumble over to bam allay knocking a table of drinks over but once I reach him I use him to balance myself by wrapping my arms round his neck and staring up at him.

I couldn’t see his eyes as he was wearing his blacked out sunglasses so I reach up and lift them to rest on his hair. I mumble out “I like your eyes I couldn’t see them” and smile to myself

Whoever bam was talking to before had left after my sudden intrusion but I didn’t even realise. “Yknow I’m not meant to be telling you this but” I start giggling at what I’m about to say and whisper in his ear “ I have a crush on you”

He smirks and looks down and says a teasing “really” I nod up at him basically leaning my whole body weight in him and subconsciously scratching at his curls “and I know you like me back so are you going to do anything about it” I ask smugly

He rests both his hands at the undersides of my jaw rubbing small circles making me tigglish and giggling before he pulls my face towards his and I feel his soft lips against mine and I kiss him back and bring him closer and deepen the kiss forgetting we’re surrounded by all our friends and not even aware of Joe filming us but even if I had I wouldn’t of cared as long as I was still kissing bam.

He pulls away with his eyes dilated looking like he took the best drugs in his life before smiling and kissing me again this time letting his hand wander to my bum and giving it a firm squeeze and rubbing it almost causing my skirt to lift.

This time I pull away and take his hand and shout way too loudly a good bye and waving towards Juliet and holding up me and bamd held hands excitedly befire running up the bar stairs and feeling bam hold my skirt down making me not false anybody and asked the first person I saw

“where’s the closest hotel?”

I hope this is ok sorry it took so long

Gonna be honest I thought this was posted like a week ago and I was thinking I haven’t got any notifications or anything and I check and I realise it hadn’t even been posted so sorry about that

Taking requests

Might do a Johnny one soon

-liv

#bam margera imagine #liv’s writing #jackass x reader #bam margera x reader #bam margera #him #h.i.m

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aspiringwriter1111 · 5 months

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Hallmark PSA

I know since it's coming on the holiday season, I'm going to start seeing a lot of Hallmark slander.

But here's a little known fact.

Hallmark is actually really really good.

WAIT WAIT DON'T LEAVE-

Let me explain!

The movies people usually associate Hallmark with are the "old" ones (2020 and back). I bet after seeing how cliche and unhealthy they were, you didn't see a reason to watch them again after that, am I right??

But you knew them well enough to know they weren't worth your time and sanity.

Girl in a high stress job goes to small town, learns the meaning of Christmas, and then cheats on her also stressed out boyfriend back in the city with a hot cocoa making stubbly kind of rude lumberjack man then quits her job and moves to Vermont or something.

Yeah, they don't do those anymore.

At all.

I'm serious.

A part of it is that there was a purge. A year or two ago, there was a new Christmas movie company in town. All the actors that didn't like the forward direction Hallmark wanted to go in, left and joined GAC.

(Great American Family, or as I like to call it GACK. The movies are exclusively awful old Hallmark style, but Republican, badly decorated, very white, and also much worse.)

GAC took all the problems away from Hallmark, and made movies out of them. Hallmark, now cleansed, is pumping out cinematic greats that I WILL be rewatching every Christmas.

The whole of Hallmark was Recast, save for the best of the best fan favorites (Like Lacey Chaubert-)

They have plus sized actors now and people of color, cast as main characters on a regular basis.

Half of the movies aren't even romance centric anymore, instead focused on life, and moving forward, but when they are, they're really well done, and actually healthy.

If you know me (which you don't), then you'll know I hate unhealthy relationships. Especially when they're treated like they're okay. I will pick apart ANYTHING over toxicity in a relationship, wherever that might come from.

I used to hate Hallmark movies, because they were predictable, unrealistic, flawed, and toxic.

But now the characters talk with each other, and they don't get in the others space without permission. If there's an accident and it does happen, it's not used as a plot device to move the relationship along. It's not treated in a "OMG hot guy is literally right in my face!!! I've only known him two minutes and I hate him, I'm in love!!"

It's more of an, "OMG I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that at all, im so sorry, I'm so sorry- *Immediately backs away*"

I can't even begin to explain how much better they are now.

To further prove my point, here are some gifs of Three Wise Men and a Baby, one of my favorite Christmas movies ever:

Just listen to this one.

It's about three brothers, one of which is a firefighter (this is important). A baby gets dropped off at the fire station, with a note. The firefighters name is on it, asking him to look after the baby until Christmas.

This is not his baby.

This IS a joke throughout the entire film.

They have no idea who dropped him off.

So they end up taking care of him for a week, and seriously bonding with him. The make his first Christmas ornament with clay, they do a holiday photo dressed to the nines.

They talk about how hard it is to actually take care of a baby, and how hard it must have been for their mom doing it alone.

Talking about how their own dad left, and finally processing that trauma together.

Their mom confesses that if she didn't have support, she may have done what the babies mother did. How she must be going through such a rough patch, and building empathy for her.

All three of the brothers go on complete cathartic emotional journeys about it, and all the other issues in their life.

I can't do it justice.

It's called Three Wise Men and A Baby. I'm begging you please go watch it, you will NOT regret it.

I CRIED SO MANY TIMES YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

I'm tearing up now just thinking about it oh my gOD-

The ending just sent it home for me, so I won't spoil anything.

Its amazing. I can't explain the whole thing, I seriously beg you please go watch it.

And, if you're more into comedy, I present to you Haul out The Holly:

A Christmas comedy starring your very own Gretchen Weiners!! Abso-fucking-lutley HILARIOUS.

It's about a woman, just broken up with her boyfriend, and coaxed into going home for the holidays. Here's where it gets interesting.

Her parents are the head of the Christmas neighborhood watch, something that has plagued her since childhood. Her childhood friend has now taken over the position, as her parent ditch her for retirement on a beach someplace, and she's left stuck, having to decorate against her will.

She wants a nap. The neighbors want her to carve ice sculptures. And her nutcracker apparently isn't up to code.

Includes: Girlboss and male wife power duo (madly in love), insane chainsaw man with way too much time on his hands, the ML an anxious wreck, and many, many, MANY MORE.

Another recent movie was built around a woman who is an astronaut (She's mixed) who was about to finally go to space (The goal shes been working on her entire life) She got into a car accident and her eyesight was impaired. She's currently grieving the loss of her dream (like, actually grieving, she took three months off-).

Her company asks her if she wants to do an exhibit in the planetarium for Christmas, that she doesn't have to, but she can if she wants to take her minds off of things. She says yes, and ends up working with the planetarium director on an exhibit about the sun and it's connection to Christmas through how people used to celebrate with the sun (I don't remember exactly, but it was explained thoroughly, and i think pagan???)

She and him don't constantly argue, or be angry at each other. They cooperate. They show genuine interest in each other. It's actually adorable, and it's also not just about them.

She meets his daughter, who is a wheelchair user. She asks why the Female lead isn't in space if she's an astronaut, and the FL tell her it's because of her eyes. The daughter tells her it's okay, because she'll never be able to go to space either, even if she wants to, but she can still enjoy it from Earth.

I'm not even doing it justice.

By the end of the movie, the FLs eye problem doesn't heal. Nothing is miraculously solved. But the ML and the FL are now dating (After the best, slow paced, healthy, communicative, collaborative bonding freaking ever-) ALL OF THE CHARACTERS HAVE FULL BLOWN EMOTIONAL JOURNEYS THAT ACTUALLY MATTER.

SHE GRIEVES.

HER BROTHER FINALLY FIGURES OUT ITS OKAY FOR HIM TO DO WHAT HE LOVES, AND THAT HE'S NOT A FAILURE FOR IT.

THE ML LET'S GO OF THINKING HES A BAD PARENT.

AND MORE.

There are soft bits, nothing is cliche, nothing is icky or gross.

It's healthy, it's cute, it's emotionally driven, I'm actually learning about things I didn't know before, and amazing.

And all the new ones are either like this or better than this. I could name over ten, but I can't even explain how good they are.

Some of the are still a little dark ages, but it's only every one out of six or seven.

Hallmark movies from 2022 and onwards are 5 star television, and you can't convince me otherwise.

#hallmark movies #hallmark channel #christmas movies #hallmark #christmas movie #Hallmark slander #PLEASE WATCH THREE WISE MEN AND A BABY I BEG OF YOU-#psa #this has been a psa #good movies #gay rights #people of color #body posititivity #change for the better

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marierg · 3 months

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Of Light and Darkness: The Rising Darkness pt.4

Pairing: Obi Wan Kenobi X Reader

WARNINGS!: (IF YOU ARE NOT IN A GOOD PLACE MENTALLY DO NOT READ THIS PART!!!!!!!!) ANGST!!! Depictions of induced (reference Sith induced horror and mind shards) PTSD flashbacks, death, injury, near death, threatened death, battle scenes, blood, pain, regret, longing, anger, self loathing, foul language, SNAKES!.... Yeah if I missed anything let me know. Needless to say not light reading.... (Why'd it have to be snakes!)

note: if Italic indicates mental telepathy etc.

A/N: I take no credit for the movie dialogue that is all the work of the wonderful Mr. Lucas!!!! THIS IS A LOVING WORK OF FANFICTION!!! With that said I did take more than a few liberties but I tried to pull from the film and meld it into a cohesive piece. Much love to all the prequels and the folks there in!

Ok folks I will fully admit this one has been taking quite a while to cook because well... It took a hell of a lot out of me to do this one. I wanted it done just so and I didn't want to let it out to the tumblr verse otherwise. AGAIN please heed the warnings!!!!

Yes our reader is a badass (Her master is Mace frickin' Windu!) but even she ain't enough to take on a Sith. I also will reiterate that I believe that there are limitations to all force abilities.

If you have never seen Sir Christopher Lee fence in other films (actual swordsman really!) go watch some of his other works, they are amazing! I referenced the 1970's four musketeers specifically for the fight here, lot of fencing terms are used.

Picture/ GIF Credit: @92-guy, @supererick911, Lucasfilm & Pinterest

Words: 8456... (Holy moly!)

Masterlist Next

Dooku had always favored games of strategy as a child. Dejarik, Nexu and Hounds, Weiduk were all child's play compared to his game board now. It had been a long strategy, years of moving all of his pieces into play and now... now was the time to finally begin his endgame. Every forfeit and feign leading to this point.

“Senator Amidala won't you have a seat.”

Dooku observed as the Geonosian guards brought the young Senator and her companion roughly to the table. He restrained his annoyance at their... crude method of capture. Fortunately Fett had stepped in and salvaged the situation. Viceroy Gunray may want the woman dead, but she still held value. Killing was often the simplest answer to a problem, but it may not yet be the correct one. Patience often yielding the better option in any given situation. Given the difficulty of her capture he could see why she was a useful thorn in his Master's side.

Padme stared dispassionately at the Count, “I am here to discuss the Jedi Knights in your custody. If they are released immediately I am willing to overlook the assault of myself and Jedi Skywalker.”

“I'm not.” Anakin muttered under his breath.

“I'm afraid that I cannot allow that. You see Masters Kenobi and L/n have been convicted of espionage and sentenced to execution.” Dooku watched the young woman's face turn pale, her young protector closing rank behind her. The boy held his temper, but Dooku could feel it simmer just below the surface.

How very interesting...

“They're representatives of the Republic on an investigatory mission. You of all people should recognize that.” Padme gripped into the arms of the chair to ground her emotions. The Count pursed his lips and tilted his head sympathetically, but there was no honesty to the gesture.

“We do not recognize the Republic here, but if Naboo were to join our alliance,” Dooku's lips turned up in a kind façade, “I would gladly hear your petition for clemency.”

“And sacrifice my peoples rights to your charlatan council, I think not.” Padme's voice dripped venom, well remembering the causalities of the Trade Federation Blockade. “This anarchy must end Count, release the Jedi and I will see to it that you have appropriate representation when you are brought to trial.”

“A very kind offer Senator Amidala, but not one I think that you will be able to deliver on,” Dooku laughed in his chest. The girl still thought she could win, how quaint. Ah to have that youth and the ideals that once came with it. Dooku knew the true power and way of the galaxy that only came with age, it was a shame that this young woman would not live long enough to see for herself. “I'm afraid that given your own activities here, you and your Jedi compatriot have been found guilty of the same charges. I'm so very sorry my dear.”

Jango watched as the prisoners were led away, a dark feeling settling over him. The Jedi welp wouldn't have come on his own and that meant that there would be more on the way. Starting a war was a messy business, fighting one was not in the contract. Keeping a casual air he moved to speak with Tyranus. “I've been contacted about a bounty near Concord Dawn. I should leave within the hour, if I'm finished here that is.”

Dooku glanced at the hunter, feeling the unease in him though he hid it quite well. Fett would never be foolish enough to defy him, but he was just smart enough to see the likely trouble coming. Smiling at the man he rose, walking towards the hallway. It would be easy enough to let the hunter go about his business, but if Fett was uneasy then it was all the more reason to keep him close. “Of course my friend, I would never want to interfere in your dealings. I had hoped that you would join us for the execution, after all Boba seemed very excited when the entertainment was being brought in earlier. But if you must go...”

“It would be rude not to accept,” Jango kept his tone light, uncaring. He could see the man was testing him. He was a cagey one Tyranus, but not the first that Jango had delt with. Raising an amused brow at the older man he gave a half smirk, “Wouldn't want to disappoint the boy.”

Dooku smiled back, “Of course not.”

Of all the ways that you thought that you would die a gladiator arena hadn't even made the top ten. Your personal hope had been a clean death, nice and quick. Or maybe in your sleep. But as the chariot carrying you and Obi Wan approached the columns, seeing the deep tooth and claw gashes, cold dread washed over you. Dying wasn't frightening to you, but the thought of seeing Obi Wan suffer because of your failure... it was your very worst nightmare. Grasping at straws you fell back to dark humor, “Well at least the sun's shining.”

“A better show for our hosts I imagine,” Obi Wan gazed at you, sarcastic smile quirking up.

You snorted, “Glad to see you're optimistic at least.”

Obi Wan knew that tone, the resigned look. He had long prayed to not see it again, yet he too knew the grim reality of their situation. If by some miracle Anakin had sent the message on, a rescue may not reach the two of you in time. If escape were to happen it would be on their own skill to do so. “Just remember the plan and stay close, together or not at all wee one.”

“First round at Maffa's is on me.” Shaking your head and taking a deep breath you tried to smile.

“This day is not our end Y/n, I promise.”

As the guards finished securing your hands to the post you couldn't help the bitter tone of your reply, “Don't make promises you can't keep.”

------

The ship had dropped the rescue team as close as possible without being detected. It had taken considerable patience and negotiation to keep the civilian crew from joining the Jedi, one in particular had tested Mace's will. He had finally pulled Yalvaberg to the side, explaining that if the situation turned truly south that he was relying on her and the others to get them out quickly.

The girl had argued, yelled, begged to go. In the end Mace had asked her what you would do. It was a testament really, the loyalty and care of the gathered rag tag group. Glitch had handed him a comm and then squeezed his hand around it tightly, bidding her gods to guide them. Her last words to him and the others echoed in his ears even in the catacomb halls.

“Victory or Valhalla.”

Anakin's emotions swirled about him like a raging torrent. Despair, anger, hopelessness, and disappointment kept barely contained. He had failed his mother, he had failed his Masters, and now he was about to fail the woman he loved. It wouldn't even matter that she could not love him back, but that they would die together because he couldn't follow a simple order.

He felt so kriffing useless.

Anakin tried to find the calm within as you had taught him, to make peace with himself on the walk to the staging area. As Master Obi Wan often reminded him, in failure there is opportunity and from opportunity victory can yet be achieved.

“I'm sorry Anakin, I should have listened to you.” Padme swallowed as the guilt rose. Her hubris had led to this, thinking that these demagogues could be reasoned with.

“You have nothing to be sorry for Padme.”

“Yes I do,” She pursed her lips desperately trying to find the words.

Anakin glanced at her drawn face, finding the focus that he so needed. He would get Padme to safety even if it killed him. Putting on a confident face he tried to give her a reassuring look. “Don't be afraid.”

“Oh Anakin... I'm not afraid to die.” Padme shook her head with a somber grimace. “I've been dying a little every day since you came back into my life.”

Anakin winced, “What are you saying?”

She couldn't lie any longer, not to him and not to herself. If one could not be truthful in the face of death then how could they hope to see the other side of creation. Padme looked into those blue eyes, begging forgiveness for the deceit. “I love you.”

“You love me?” It was as if the whole of the Force had calmed his turmoil at her words. Anakin wanted to whoop and crush her to himself, but the shackles not withstanding he was still hesitant. He could feel the roll of her emotions within and as badly as he wished to believe Padme, Anakin remembered the bitter sting of her words from a few nights before. “I thought we decided not to fall in love. That we would be forced to live a lie... That it would destroy us.”

“Our lives are about to be destroyed anyway.” Turning as best the restrains would allow, Padme let go of her control. Tears pricking at the corners of her eyes as her voice trembled, “I know how I feel for you. As much as my mind begs me to stop, my heart won't obey. The moment that I saw you again I felt whole, not knowing that I was incomplete.”

“Padme I...” Anakin tried to reach for her, to reassure and comfort. He cursed and struggled against the chains.

“Ani please,” pressing her shoulder to his, Padme huffed a breath out, “I cannot control this love for you and I don't wish to anymore. I truly, deeply love you Anakin Skywalker.”

Anakin moved, desperately stretching to finally kiss her. Unable to do more than give the lightest pressure, he tried to put every bit of what he felt into the gentle melding. For once he dropped his own walls, wanting to feel more than just this sweet affection. The dazzling way her signature flickered as they kissed, the heat that rose in her cheeks. If Anakin could freeze time he would have this moment last forever.

It was a bittersweet kiss of love and regret, of time squandered. Maker he wished that she had simply told him the truth before now. He wanted to be upset with her, but the salt of her tears easily swept that away. Anakin would move the orbits of the stars to never see Padme cry again. Feeling the stutter in her breathing he tried to find the words to say. “My heart has always been yours my angel. When we get out of this...”

“Anakin.”

“WHEN we get out of this I will show you just how much I love you.” He kissed her again before she could speak. He wished he could stop the wheels of the chariot, to beg the galaxy a few moments more. Their lips parting as the vehicle exited the portal, Anakin's resolve was firm. The two of them would survive this. Padme loved him and he would not lose her now.

Not today nor any other.

Obi Wan shouldn't have been surprised to see his wayward Padawan, he shouldn't be surprised to see the Senator with him. None of that kept his temper from flaring the minute the two were transferred from the chariot and chained to the posts with the two of you. “I was beginning to wonder if you gotten our message.”

“We re transmitted it just like you asked,” Anakin replied with a forced an easy tone, “Then we came to rescue you two.”

Obi Wan glanced at the shackles on all four posts then back to Anakin, “Good job.”

“Padme, what happened?” Glancing to the younger woman you saw her face fall and felt a coldness within Anakin. “She's gone isn't she.”

“Now's not the time wee one, focus.” He narrowed his eyes at the far portal. “I do believe that the executioners have arrived.”

“I have a very bad feeling about this,” Anakin's stomach dropped.

The karks had chosen well. You watched as the Acklay, Nexu and Reek started stalking towards the posts. There was also movement below the sand, something causing a wavy movement in the grains. Whatever it was headed towards your post, hidden below the surface. “Yeah no kidding.”

“Just relax, concentrate.” Obi Wan bit out, surveying the area, “Try to get yourself free.”

Closing your eyes to focus on the shackle lock the danger crept ever near. The cuffs loosened finally, just enough that you could squeeze one hand out. Glancing at Padme you saw her already climbing the post. Copying the strategy you began your ascent when the pillar shook, almost knocking you to the ground.

Glancing down you saw as the triangular head of the creature emerged from the sands. Green and orange scales shimmering as the fans and spines on its back sprang out, serpentine figure rising to a staggering height. Using the Force you pulled yourself up the pole glancing down at the beast. “What in the ever loving kark?!”

“Stay away from it!” Padme screamed as she hit the pouncing Nexu with the chain again. “A Rawl, very dangerous.”

“No kidding,” you snarked back. Free of the last cuff you searched through your robes. The dagger wasn't very large but it was better than nothing. If you made it out of this you would owe the Hunter a great favor. Taking a swing you cut at the serpents nose as it came close to strike. Laughable attempt really, the creature could have used it as a toothpick after consuming you.

Gunray and the others were distracted by the spectacle as was Boba, who practically leaned over the parapet of the box for a better view. Jango had told the boy to be on the alert, his sense of unease was building. Dooku was chatting with his council as though this were a speeder race and not four beings fighting for their lives. The prisoners were doing well actually, Jango had to give credit to them. Sparing a glance in your direction he saw the concentrated look and then a faint smile.

Obi Wan was still trying to deal with the Acklay, his attempt at spearing the creature only resulted in angering it further. Anakin was having better luck with the Reek and the Nexu was now neutralized. Two down but where were you? Then he heard it, the joyous cheering in the crowd and Anakin's pain ripping through the Force. Glancing up he saw just as your boot disappeared down the serpent's maw. “No!”

Anakin charged with the reek crushing the Acklay and retrieving Obi Wan. Then the Rawl slithered towards all of them. Padme held onto him tightly as the creature reared up readying to strike again. Anakin squeezed her arm, “Don't look angel.”

But the creature stopped. Pausing mid slither, beginning to writhe.

Hacking and sputtering unable to draw breath the beast let out a series of angry hisses. Shaking its head and straightening up before a large wound began bursting from just below it's neck. It fell dead to the ground as the wound got larger, blood and viscera spilling on the sand. Then a hand poked out.

“Uh, Obi Boy if you aren't too busy out there... A LITTLE HELP!”

“Wee One!” Jumping down, Obi Wan reached through the mess to pull you up. Hugging you to his chest in relief he wanted to yell at you for scaring five years off his life. “Have I told you how beautiful you look today, because you are absolutely resplendent.”

Glancing at the approaching destroyer droids you gave him a quick hug back. “Later sweet man, escape first.”

Dooku felt the stirring in the Force before he heard the lightsaber ignite. Turning he was not at all surprised to see the glaring Head of the Jedi Counci. “Master Windu, how pleasant of you to join us.”

Jango glowered at the Jetii. He knew he should have left when he had the chance. Waiving at his son, Jango didn't want him getting mix in this. “Udesii Boba, Pare!”

Mace narrowed his eyes at the former Jedi. An enemy who had tried to kill his Padawan and grand Padawan. The righteous need to see the man brought to justice nearly clouding his better judgment. Still the disdain rolled through him and took hold in his voice, “This party's over.”

Multiple Jedi began to emerge around the arena, moving quickly to the four prisoners aid. Dooku grinned, how very noble... and predictable. Subtle amusement showed in his tone, “Brave, but futile my old Jedi friend. You're impossibly outnumbered.”

Mace heard the clanking of the droids coming. Glaring at his former college, pure venom in his words, “We'll see about that.”

Jango set loose his flamethrower just as the droids had the Knight distracted. He fell over the parapet but landed on his feet. Another appeared trying to cut down Tyranus, a few shots took care of that one well enough. His boss nodded thanks as Jango reholstered his blaster. Turning to his son he pulled the boy into the vom, “Boba get down to the ship and get ready for take off. Stay hidden and stay away from the fight.”

“But Dad!”

“No buts son, now go.” The boy ran down the corridor, pausing to look back at him. “Go on Boba, I'll be there shortly.”

The arena blurred as the Jedi charged to meet the droid army. You lose sight of Obi Wan and Anakin. The Geonosians bring in sonic cannons blasting indiscriminately, bodies and debris flying everywhere. All around there was pain and death rippling in the Force. No time to think, only to act. Your temper rose unbridled at the suffering surrounding you. Anger boiling over for the Knights and Padawans dying and injured.

Anger at Dooku for his betrayal.

Most of all anger at yourself.

For being too weak, for getting caught...

Reaching out to lift the crumbled column pieces and you began to fling them at the droids. No where to run, no where to hide for either side. Over and over, block after block you crush your opponents. “Come on you pieces of mechanical crap!”

You loosing the rocks across the floor of the arena, bringing others up to help deflect bolts meant for you and your comrades. Shots whiz past your head and you know at some point you will be hit. But there's just no time to be afraid and you are well acquainted with pain already. A steady presence in the Force draws near, like a warm blanket in the cold of a storm, calm and anchoring.

“Young Y/n.” The familiar modulated voice of Master Plo Koon floats through the air. The old Kel Doran stood beside you, surveying at the battle and he starts to direct your shots. “Aim for those cannons.”

Giving a nod you close your eyes in concentration, willing the Force to raise the largest of the pieces to the air. You channel everything you have into rocketing the marble chunk into the weapon. It explodes in fantastic fashion and you raise another to careen into one of the portal entries, blocking it so more droids cannot enter there.

“Well done,” Plo continues to deflect bolts as you work at the stone. The older Jedi knows though that their small group is being herded to a kill zone. He has fought many wars, knows that their position is untenable. “We need to evacuate.”

“Wounded to the middle, form up!” You cried out above the din. Looking around you feel your heart clench. So many dead Jedi, so many wounded, and for what? You had all fallen into Dooku's trap.

You looked to the senior Jedi around you, “What do we do?”

The booming voice of the Count echoed through the arena, “You have fought valiantly Masters, worthy of recognition in the Historical Archives...”

This was all your fault... this was all your fault... if you hadn't been caught!

The guilt races through you like a raging river to swallow you whole. But a hand gently grips your shoulder, one that has never really left you. Glancing up to Master Windu you can see that even in the face of disaster he will never yield. No, even if it were only him left, Master Windu would never cede the field of battle to the enemy. He squeezed and a calm settled over you once more and that very first lesson ran through your mind, “Not Today.”

“...But now it is finished. Surrender and your lives will be spared.” Dooku looked down imperiously upon the rabble below. They were foolish and idealistic as he had once been, never seeing the true power at work. Still they would serve their purpose in the grander plan, for the future his Master so desired. An offered sacrifice for the grander glory of the galaxy.

Order from chaos.

“We will not be hostages for you to barter Dooku!” Mace kept his temper and emotions barely in check. Glancing to the sky he prayed that the signal had worked. Just a few minutes more.

“Then I'm sorry old friend.” Dooku raised his hand ready to give the order to fire.

“I love you Obi Wan.” Closing your eyes you reached your signature to his, holding tight. You glanced at your apprentice, “Anakin it has been my honor to be your Master.”

Obi Wan glanced to you, readying for the fight. “I love you Y/n.”

Just as you were sure that the droids would start to fire there was a rumble through the air.

Padme glanced up, “LOOK!”

“Listen you armored pain in the ass, I don't give a Kark! Just get us down there and stay outta my way!” Glitch's temper reigned. She would not lose you or the other two space wizards that had become as close as family. She'd fight and die if it was called for. “And give me that thing, you'll hurt yourself.”

Deek saw the girl take hold of the Z-6 as if it weren't twice her size and could knock her square to the ground. “Damn it Glitch our objective is the wounded! Stick to the Maker damned plan!”

“Fine!” Glitch held fast to the cannon, “Oiy bucket brigade, make sure we got all the wounded on board before we lift.”

“Maker Kriffing Damn it to Hell Glitch!” If Deek wasn't flying the bird he'd kick her ass.

The troopers were also less than pleased by the woman's antics, “Ma'am it would be better...”

“Kark better!” The ship made a sharp descent and the mad woman gave a sheik. “The gods smile and fly with us today. Now get those wounded aboard and let a Valkar fight.”

The gunships began to circle around the Jedi as the droids began their assault again. You could hear a faint familiar tune and saw the nose art on the little bird as it came around. Looking over at Master Windu your face was incredulous, “You didn't?!”

He shrugged, “They insisted.”

Shaking your head you could hear the high pitched cackle above the din, “Glitch?!”

Mace shook his head as the two of you worked in tandem to block more shots from the droids. “She was quite insistent.”

On another transport Master Yoda directed the inbound craft. He had seen many battles but this, this was murder most cruel. His own apprentice, a boy he had taught and mentored, had caused such destruction. And now it fell to this weary Master to set things to right. First by recovering his knights. “Around the survivors a perimeter create.”

The old Jedi would give these clones credit, they were fine soldiers. The gunners coordinating their fire to take out whole swathes of battle droids. Upon landing the troopers instantly took up positions so that the Jedi could quickly evacuate. Yoda's heart broke at the sight of so few left.

The troopers started to grab the wounded from the arena floor, able bodied Jedi also moving to cover them. A cry familiar and haunting rose through the air sending a chill down your spine. Glitch had let loose such cry on one other occasion, on Norte. She gave it now as you watched her blast into the droids with her rifle. A bone chilling and ancient sound, the cry to war for her people. You shook yourself and organized the wounded onto the craft. “Deek get the wounded out of here!”

“Not without you and Glitch!” The old pilot's face was anguished at the thought of not taking you back. He had made that mistake once and dank ferrik he would not do it again! His heart couldn't bear the thought.

You felt the fear within him. You'd had this conversation many many times. At the end of the day, the needs of the many outweighed anything else. Looking at him softly, knowing that you needed to be strong for your friend, you gave the slightest push with the Force. “We'll get another one. I'll meet you on the flight deck old man.”

“Good Hunting.” There were tears in the old pilot's eyes as he lifted off. He knew you were right, that the troopers and the wounded Jedi on this craft needed him to fly. Deek prayed to whoever was listening, “Please not again, please bring them back.”

There was little time left and none for hesitation. Running across the sand you grabbed Glitch by the scruff of the neck, “MOVE IT YALVABEG! ASSHOLES AND ELBOWS, WE ARE LEAVING!”

Glitch turned to you with a smirk even as she surveyed the area one last time. “Boss you never let me have any fun!”

“Kid I swear I'm gonna refer you to psych again!” Both of you dove into the last transport with Masters' Yoda and Windu. The LA-AT was no little bird, rising so quickly you could feel the fillings in your teeth being pulled by the G forces.

Glitch did a double take looking a the small green being next to her. “Oh, hello again little boss!”

You chuckled to the unamused, bewildered looks from Masters Mundi and Plo. “Glitch focus, need you on the door gun.”

"Yeah yeah yeah. So bossy!" The young woman stuck her tongue out at you even as she took up the position, “You know you're getting boring in your old age.”

“Smartass!” You gave her a playful kick as the ship made another sharp turn and began taking fire. “Shit, hold on!”

“If Dooku escapes, rally more systems to his cause he will.” Master Yoda accidentally clacked his staff on Glitch's foot startling her. “Apologies young one.”

“Not at all Sir.” Glitch couldn't help to like this little fellow, he was calm and confident in command. Wise and not arrogant, reminded her of someone very dear. “You have a mighty heart little Master, Gods be at your side.”

“My ally is the Force, but all assistance will we accept.”

“Where will Dooku go?” Glancing to your own master, “How do we hunt him to ground?”

“I have a feeling that our adversary will make his presence known in time.” Mace gazed upon the battle in progress around them, control of the ground needed to be reestablished if there was to be any hope of victory. “Pilot land at that forward assembly area. Y/n, stay with Master Yoda and track down Dooku.”

Ships were being blasted out of the sky around you and though you could feel Obi Wan and Anakin you weren't sure where they had gone. Looking at your Master, you gave a quick nod. “Yes Sir.”

“Holy Shit! The boss lady listens to somebody?” Glitch winked at Master Yoda, who gave a restrained laugh of his own.

“Pot and Kettle,” Rolling your eyes the LA-AT as it took off for the forward observation post. Upon arrival there was a static transmission from one of the other ships, Dooku had been spotted and they were in pursuit. Commandeering a speeder, you prayed the Force you were fast enough. “Glitch, stay with Master Yoda.”

“No, I'm going with you! We just saved your ass no way are you...”

“Damn it Glitch,” Glaring at the girl you clutched her shoulders in frustration, “I cannot lose any more of them or you.”

Glitch had tears in her eyes silently begging you to take her too.

“Protect them for me, please.” Pleading with the young woman, you needed her safe.

“Y/n, don't.” Glitch so rarely called you by name, always Boss. Some part of her wanted to keep you all at a distance, didn't want that pain again if she lost another friend. But that would be a disrespect to all you had done and how close you'd grown. “I can help, please!”

“You are Tyra,” tucking a stray hair behind her ear, you climbed on the speeder bike. “Listen to Master Yoda as you would me. It'll be alright.”

Yoda watched as you departed, coming to take Glitches hand, “Come my young friend, your wisdom and strength do I require.”

“I doubt there's anything that I have to offer you sir.” Glitch laughed bitterly.

Yoda hummed, “A different foe have I for you, one of greater importance. Come.”

“I don't care, land the ship!” Anakin's mind screamed at the sight of Padme laying motionless on the sand.

“Anakin I need you, come to your senses!” Obi Wan pleaded with the boy. Stars knew he understood better than anyone, seeing the woman he loved injured and thought killed. He knew the gut churning pain, but he also knew his duty. That as badly as it hurt there was a job to do. “What would Padme do were she in your place? What would Y/n do if it were us?”

Anakin searched the Force for his angel, she was alive. Maker he wanted nothing more than to go to her but as Obi Wan's questions sank in he also knew that answer. As hard as the truth was, as harsh as the situation was he would not make the same mistake twice in a day. Scrunching his face in frustration and anguish he looked to Master Obi Wan.

“They would do their duty,” Taking a deep breath Anakin tried to focus, “I'm sorry Master...”

“It's alright, calm yourself.” Obi Wan reached over to squeeze the boy's shoulder. “When this is over I owe you a long talk and a strong cup of tea.”

The craft dropped them on the landing platform, exploding almost immediately as it pulled away. Anakin's eyes went wide as yet three more lives flickered and faded into the greater Force. Why must death be so cruel, why? But there was no time to contemplate such things as he and Master Obi Wan ran into the cavern.

Malevolence enveloped them almost immediately, the air growing thicker the closer they drew. Dooku stood at the controller with his back turned, uncaring that he was trapped with the two Jedi. Anger and grief rolled through Anakin once more, his tone graveled and angry, “You're going to pay for all the Jedi you killed to day.”

Dooku turned slowly to regard the welp, scrawny and overconfident. All the arrogance to befit the grand Padawan of Windu and Dalincort. He gave the two a sickening smile, “And I presume that you have claimed the honor of bringing me to justice... youngling.”

“We'll take him together,” Obi Wan could see that Dooku was attempting to draw Anakin into the fight alone, “You go around...”

Anakin saw the sneer on the old man's face, remembered how he watched as the Jedi were slaughtered in the arena. Then the bastard started to laugh, LAUGH!

Anakin was done being patient. “I'll take him NOW!”

You could hear fighting the minute the speeder landed on the pad. The very air hung heavy; darkness, pain, anger... Hate. Running as though the hounds of perdition were upon you, stomach dropping to your boots. Obi Wan was sprawled on the floor in pain, Dooku had wounded him. Anakin was battling the old saber master, but it was obvious that the Count was toying with the young man. Blocking and parrying several over powered strikes Dooku made his move, turning and efficiently amputated Anakin's arm.

“NO!!!” you screamed.

Dooku grinned, extending his hand to fling the foolish boy across the room. The boy landed at Kenobi's feet with a pained whimper. He would have relished in the sight of his victory more if it weren't for several rocks that came flying at him. Deflecting them away with a brush of his hand, Dooku finally acknowledged your presence. “I see that Windu send his little pet after me.”

“Get. Away. From. My. FAMILY!” Biting out the words you couldn't care to cover the fury in your voice. Extending your arm you pulled the injured men closer to the entrance. The air practically crackled around you, pebbles floated and clattered from your rage.

He had injured Obi Wan....

he had cut off Anakin's arm...

he had killed so many good Jedi today...

“Young y/n, perhaps it's time for another lesson?” Dooku taunted you, tutting under his breath with a sly grin. “Then again you always were a poor student.”

There was a moment where Anakin looked up and he didn't recognize the woman striding across the room. Logically he could see that it was you, but it was as though your body had been possessed by a foreign spirit. A cold dead look of fury... it was terrifying. “Master?”

“Y/n,” Obi Wan tried to reach out to you but your walls were firmly in place. A shot of dread ran through him, bile rising. He had not been present when you had killed the Neimoidian, but he well remembered the fight against the cartel on Talenza. That same detached look, clinical almost if not for the anger in your eyes. Merciful light protect you, “Wee one...”

“I will not let you kill another Jedi today Dooku.” Without turning, moving only to raise your hand catching the saber hilt as it rocketed into your grip from the floor, you glared down the former Master. These feelings within were beyond anger or disgust or sorrow. When you looked at the man you felt nothing, seeing only the shadow of evil that was trying to destroy all around you. A cancer that needed to be excised. Raising your blade you coolly addressed the debauched soul, “Surrender old man.”

“We both know that I won't come willingly.” Dooku threw your own words at you. He couldn't help to admire the tenacity, foolish as it was, “You're outmatched girl.”

Your feet shifted to a starting position, “I have all that I require.”

“So very naïve,” Dooku gazed haughtily at you. “It appears then that this lesson is over due.”

You didn't reply, twirling the blade raising it to ready. There was no urgency in your step, nor stiffness to your body. Slowly entering the enemy's domain, closing space and circling. The air crackled around the room as Dooku extended his blade, red as the blood that stained his hands.

He feigned, beating the edge of his blade against yours trying to provoke you to action.

Tilting your head you slid the edge of the beam along causing sparks, giving a beat in return.

Force for force, blade on blade.

Dooku made the first move sweeping up then countering low. You didn't try for anything fancy simply deflecting and redirecting the move. Again, he thrust the edge of his saber, only for you to twist and block the move. He kept baiting and prodding, yet you would not do more than defend and take more ground. “Come now girl, certainly you can do better. Surely you wish to destroy me for what I've done. You'd like that wouldn't you?”

Another hard blow coming down from above as you felt him probing your mental barriers. Your walls were beginning to fray, and you could feel the cold clutches trying to wreak havoc on your mind. Blocking his saber again you gave a great push with the Force to throw the man across the floor.

“Would you not like to see me humbled before the Council for the harm done to your Padawan?” Dooku landed on his feet, less than gracefully but still in form. He watched to see if his words would add to the storm. He continued to project the most awful of things to your mind trying to break your will. Mental images of your Master dying, of Kenobi dying, of your apprentice crying for help as he too died. All of that which you feared most. A little further he thought, only a little more and the girl will crumble. Dooku shot lightning at you, laughing as he reveled in your cries of pain. “Or have you finally found that you are not what you believe yourself to be?”

“Aaaaahhhh!!!” You screamed in pain and frustration and the barrage continued.

Smirking he set the bolts loose again. Oh yes this did brighten his day to see you suffer. “You are no Knight, you are nothing but a weak little foundling! A cur allowed among the ranks of better beings because of one Council head's attachment.”

“Don't listen to him Y/n!” Obi Wan screamed from across the room, the lightning was so bright that he could barely discern your outline.

“Obi Boy...”

He took in a sharp breath feeling your signature wrap tightly to his. “Wee One?”

“Hey Slemo!”

Dooku paused the electric charge hearing your words. There you stood looking at him defiantly through the pain. How was this possible? Then he realized you hadn't fully taken the shock, channeling it to the ground through your body. Anger rose within him, not the least of which was directed at his own hubris. “So you HAVE learned something...”

“And you have forgotten,” Raising your saber again at the old man, charging forward with a swift low swing at his knees. One two three times blocked to come up for a high cross body strike. You glared over the light of the blades, “You've forgotten who you were! Whom you were supposed to defend! You were a Jedi, you were Qui Gon's Master.”

“You are not worthy to utter his name!” The old man matched your venom at the mere mention of his former apprentice.

So the old man still grieved. Good you thought, two could play at this! “Would he recognize you now? To see what you have become?”

Dooku charged and swung harder this time aiming for your shoulder and neck to silence you. “Qui Gon should still be alive, but instead you two unworthy children...”

“Qui Gon died defending the galaxy from the evil that you embraced!” You parried and kept backing him towards the edge of the cavern space. The old Sith continued to bash at your mental shields continuing his two front assault. You could feel him clawing in, feel yourself weakening with each minute and blow. The dark thoughts that you kept at bey so long rising at his bidding. You would not yield this battle though, giving a scream. “If Qui Gon had lived he would stand against you now! Since he cannot then we will!”

“You and Kenobi are nothing! That boy is nothing!” Dooku had to pivot quickly to avoid the quick footwork and precision of your thrusts and swings. Damn you using his momentary lapse to begin taking ground. Dooku wasn't out of the fight yet, using the Force to hurtle crates at rapid speed while blocking and advancing back at you. “The power of the dark side shall rise to bring order to the Galaxy.”

“Not so long as there is one Jedi left to defend her still!”

Slicing through the crates you continued to fight your way to the corner. Just a bit closer to the power conduit on the wall. Keeping your eyes on the Sith as you got within range. Tipping over a chemical container near the wall, then yanking out the high voltage cables.

“Anakin look away!” Obi Wan tried to cover his eyes as the pool of chemicals sparked off.

There was a flash and a wave of heat as the fumes ignited around the Count, driving you back. Please let this work, sweet merciful Force...

But then the world crumbled around you, nothing but swirling darkness.

You felt as though transported, floating through the coldest void of space until suddenly your body dropped to the ground.

No... this couldn't be?

You were back on Talenza... back to that day. Swirling ash and fire surrounding you, the stench of burnt flesh and death. The bodies of all the Jedi you had ever know strewn about your feet, blood raining from the sky.

Sightless eyes staring at you, mouths moving in tandem....

Why didn't you save us? Why didn't you save us?

Closest to you was Obi Wan and Anakin, again the same words.

Why didn't you save us?

“NOOOOOOO!!!!!” This wasn't real, this couldn't be real, DEAR SWEET MAKER STOP THIS PLEASE!

Pain erupted in your back and head momentarily breaking the hold Dooku had on your mind. The briefest of pauses from the horror. Thrown into the cavern wall to fall to the floor, flung into the rocky surface again and again like a ragdoll.

“Foolish child,” the Sith tutted as he strode closer, untouched by the flame. Raising his hand to continue the scourge. “Did you really think that would work? That you could defeat me so easily...”

The images kept flashing over and over in your mind, until all at once they stopped. As though the light had reached through and pulled you from the depths of the dark. Warmth slowly creeping back into you along with the pain. A familiar voice rang in the cavern as surely as a meditation bell in the Temple, steady and calm.

“Release her.” The paced clacking of a walking staff came to a pause, voice raising again. “Release my Knight!”

Dooku sneered, “Master Yoda...”

Your body crumpled to the floor, blood pounding in your head. The wise old Master looked to you, raising a hand that would stay you from acting further. Not that there was much convincing needed. You reached your signature out to Anakin and Obi Wan, injured but alive. “Obi Boy...”

“I'm here Wee One.”

“I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...” You succumbed to the pain, vision blanking into unconsciousness.

Yoda looked upon the man before him, twisted in mind and spirit.

No longer the boy he had taught...

No longer the Knight and defender...

“Count Dooku.”

“You have interfered with our affairs for the last time,” The Sith pried and flung multiple conduits from the wall to crush his foe. When that did not prove enough he brought the ceiling of the cave upon the small Jedi's head.

With an nonplussed waive of his hand Yoda deflected the debris. “Our affairs is it? Then truly fallen you have.”

“The dark side has shown me the truth of the galaxy. And my Master has taught me so much more than you ever could.” Dooku glowered at the small being that he had once held in such esteem. One who had held him back and treated him like a child, well no more. He would end his former Master once and for all, “I have become more powerful than any mere Jedi... Even you!”

Lightning arced through the air at the small Jedi but to no effect. Dooku tried again, but with each attempt Yoda deflected or absorbed the volts, appearing unimpressed by the attempt. Similar to when an initiate threw a tantrum in the creche, the old Master kept his countenance calm. Dooku knew better though, that the still waters ran deeper than the ocean worlds.

“Powerful you have become Dooku,” Yoda straightened his posture to more squarely look the man down. "but not wiser."

“How is this possible?” Dooku glared at the small being. Sidious had trained him well, Dooku should be able to defeat the old man easily. He was more powerful, smarter! Anger and fear flashed within him as Dooku continued to reassess his strategy.

“Your ambitions and plans, like leaves in the wind they are,” Yoda's ears turned up as he glared down at his opponent, “Much to learn you still have. Clouded is your mind, to your senses return.”

“It is obvious that this contest will not be decided by our knowledge of the Force, but by our skills with a saber.” He raised his blade, cool anger flashing in his eyes, “Unless you feel unequal to the challenge.”

Parting his robes Yoda drew his saber, “Do you?”

Across the floor Obi Wan was unable do much while injured, Anakin was semi conscious on his leg. They needed to get out of the cavern, there was no hope of lending assistance to Master Yoda in their condition. Concentrating on you signature Obi Wan tried to wake you, “Wee one?”

You face twitched in pain, but still not rousing to consciousness.

“Wee One I need you,” He focused harder, “Please wake up love, please.”

“Obi...” One eye blinked painfully open as you took in a deeper breath. You could hear the clash of sabers beating, glancing over you witnessed something not seen in a very long time. Master Yoda had drawn his lightsaber and was fighting the Count. The normally peaceful and patient Grand Master was beating the fallen Jedi, giving no quarter. Glancing at where Anakin and Obi Boy were you also saw the bleak look in his eyes. “Are you alright?”

“We need to get the boy out of here, can you help pull us over.” Reaching out with the Force Obi Wan moved to where you lay. You were shaking and unfocused, you were scared. Raising a hand to your battered face, Obi Wan's voice shook, "I'm sorry love, I'm sorry for all of it."

"Me too," Leaning into the touch you wrapped your signature to his, at least you were together.

The tears in your eyes begged to set loose, but you refused. For all their sakes you had to hold back, as much as you wanted otherwise. Fortunately the saber had cauterized the wound, but you doubted there was any way of reattaching the arm successfully. The boy was in shock and you did your best to try to ease his pain. What little strength you had would not allow you to do much. Placing your hand to his head you tried to give him peace, projecting that day at the beach on Dantooine, a good memory instead of the fear of now. “It'll be alright Ani-man, just hold on... just hold on.”

Yoda clashed his saber with Dooku's again and again, each blow and move made to disarm his foe. Dooku was strong, but his emotions clouded his judgment. It had been one of the many reasons that he had been denied a seat on the Council. His arrogance and air of superiority over his fellow knights had also been a thorn in many of the Jedi's side. Warning signs seen too late or ignored due to rank? Blocking yet another crippling blow Yoda struggled to hold his guard, “fought well you have my old Padawan.”

“Kind of you to notice, but I think that this contest is soon to end.” Forcing the smaller Jedi away the Count raised his hand to rip the largest of the ducts on the wall away. With all of his might Dooku tried to bring it down on the injured Jedi.

“Y/n!” Obi Wan grabbed your head trying to shield both you and Anakin with his body.

Bounding back from Dooku, Yoda raised his arms in concentration. Even as the Sith laughed and ran to his ship Yoda held the large metal beam fast and with great effort flung it away. Turning just as the portal to the ship closed the old Master glowered. “Finished, this is not!”

“No,” Dooku's voice boomed, “it is just the beginning!”

Translations:

Udesii, Pare- Easy, Wait

Taglist: @meshlasolus @the-rain-on-kamino @a-rose-of-amber @aquaamethyst96 @stanny-uwu @just-dreaming-marvel @nurseytypechick @in-a-mellow-tone @acatalystrising @pickleprickle @iambored24601 @songoficecreamandfireworks @misscamptl @purplepandora666 @obiknights @moostresskenobi @the-going-merry @ginger-swag-rapunzel @iabrokengirl @lovelyxlily @annasun13 @foxperifoto @supernaturallover2002

#Holy crud this took a while!#Oh but it's here #the next one's really gonna hurt...#go read fluff after this #you'll need it #star wars #obi wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan x reader #obi wan fanfiction #obi wan x y/n #ol&d #obi wan x you #jango fett #count dooku #master yoda #mace windu #plo koon #attack of the clones

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adventures-in-asexuality · 4 months

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End-of-year ramblings

Video games

Yeah, okay, let's start here. Obviously I played a truly inexplicable very explicable amount of FFXIV this year, and will continue to do so (can't believe Dawntrail will be dropping next year; we've stuck at it through all the waits between patches).

Baldur's Gate 3 was fun; I didn't expect to play it, but so many people I know loved it that I had to try, and I'm glad I did.

The same really goes for Cyberpunk 2077; honestly most of what I like about the game is the experience of it, rather than the stories. Whoosh! Zoom! Neon and doublejumping!

The other major new game this year for me was Mask of the Rose; I really loved it! I think the post-release patches helped it a lot as a game, but honestly I was hooked right from the beginning. (This was probably the start of the series of events that got a friend playing Sunless Skies/me replaying Sunless Skies/me returning to Fallen London and accidentally convincing some friends to also do so. No regrets.)

Music

Big album this year has to be Bury the Lede by Dessa. I was going to listen and enjoy it no matter what, but I really do like the way a lot of the songs resonate with growing older, still having all the same big feelings, but being way too tired to deal with them in any kind of high-octane way. What if I'm Not Ready in particular really tugs at something in me.

I'm not sure I have more new music this year; I've been a bit disconnected from everything, mostly listening to music when someone hurls links my way. Maybe next year!

Books

I read a lot of books this year, as ever, but the vast majority have been rereads; I've been quite low on book recs again. Here's a few of the new ones - I won't cover all of them because I don't have that kind of patience. (Counted - 33 new ones - which, compared to the sheer number of rereads, is low.)

She Who Became the Sun/He Who Drowned the World by Shelley Parker-Chan were a fun pair of books, about a girl who steals her brother's name and destiny when he dies so that she can shape the world/become the emperor. I liked some of the gender vibes you get in this - Zhu Yuanzheng's gender is never really defined, but also never at all fits in a binary mould. A lot of the second book, however, felt a bit extraneous and a bit gratuitous in various directions. Overall, I think this is a rec for reading the first one and skipping the second.

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle - everyone reading this probably already knows, but yeah, this is good. There's always something special to me about stories about queer kids in fundamentalist Christian churches - sure, it's usually American churches, but it's still a commonality that resonates powerfully with me. Read it.

Somewhere in summer I read all of Tana French's murder mysteries. I quite liked the Dublin Murder Squad books - nothing special but fun - but I honestly really disliked her two later standalones. The politics in them just set my teeth on edge a bit - The Wych Elm's protagonist is so dismissive about disability that, while I know it's part of his characterisation, it still left a bad taste in my mouth; The Searcher's protagonist has some views on politeness and morality that just make me sigh. (Rec for the murder squad books if you, like me, just really like murder mysteries.)

The Stone Gods by Jeanette Winterson: every year I'll read one more of her books, I guess. They're always good. They always haunt me.

Translation State by Ann Leckie was good; of course it was. I think it comes with my biggest overall caveat for an Ann Leckie book (I really wish Qven and Reet's subplot had ended differently; I know it was written as a metaphor for something else, but I read and resonated with it as a metaphor for aceness, which the ending doesn't leave space for) but it was still great. And we saw Sphene again!!

TV/film

Not much this year; my brain hasn't been in the right space for it.

Watched the Evangelion rebuild - I still haven't seen the original series so this was an interesting experience. I'm not really sure what my takeaway from it was, or what exactly I watched (apart from giant photorealistic Rei - we watched the fourth film in the cinema, so it was truly giant) but hey, I get more references now.

That same group of miscreants has been watching Lexx - seriously, do not watch this. It's rancid. It's so bad we have lost the ability to evaluate media, because everything else is good compared to it. Awful. Terrible. 15 more hours to go until we're free. I'm not going to describe it because the descriptions sound interesting and it is a terrible show. Never watch it. Strangle anyone who tries to make you.

Almost forgot, but I think this was the year I watched Yellowjackets - phenomenal even when your point of comparison isn't Lexx. I'm waiting for the third season with bated breath. It's so good. It's so awful. It's breaking my heart. Please watch this immediately and then come scream with me.

I'm also making my way through Young Pope, which - I don't know if I'd say that I'm enjoying it, but it is certainly doing things to my brain. It resonates with me in a similar way to Camp Damascus; even though they're on very different areas of the right-wing Christian spectrum, the fundamental beliefs and desires and angers and fears and reactions are the same.

Heaven's Official Blessing Season 2 finally happened!!! I'm still working my way through it - the friend I watch with has had no time this year, so we're using the holidays for it - but, oh, I love this book and these characters so much.

More personal stuff

Work has actually been quite bad this year; I've largely been on a project that's gotten worse and worse as the year goes on, in a way I fundamentally cannot fix but have to try to anyway. I've been circling between 'I hate this, I should job search' and 'I'm so bad at everything, only this job would put up with me' and 'at least wfh doesn't mean I'm in danger of losing it'. By Easter or so, I should be free from it at last, so I'll keep an eye out and hopefully things will even out again.

Home has, however, been a lot better. I moved towns at the end of last year to somewhere that has more friends and a more walkable town centre (and much cheaper rent) and it's been an excellent choice. Only having to walk five minutes or so to get to a shop or see a friend has meant that I've been able to practise walking five minutes or so (whereas in my last place, it was a walk then a twenty-minute bus ride just to the town centre) - and that in turn has meant that I've been able to build that up bit by bit, and occasionally run headlong into my limits in the process.

It's been a bit of a weird holiday season in particular for me this year, laced with grief and memories. Hosting a Christmas dinner and cooking with several other people felt right in a way it's hard to really put words to, and also reminded me very strongly of my grandmother. Her house was always a gathering place for all the family, as well as a refuge; it's eight or nine years since I last set foot inside it and yet I could still tell you the layout of her kitchen, the mnemonic for the bank of eight light switches in the hallway, the warmest place in winter and the coolest place in summer. Nowhere I've lived before has been nice enough for people to visit often, let alone to cook in or to know their way around; cooking and organising with people, seeing them remember locations and extend tables and understand the hob, soothes something it is difficult to explain.

Next year, then:

I hope to have somewhat more brain and less exhaustion (I've been so tired all year, which is tedious as fuck).

I hope for many of my friends to have considerably better years, and that the rest will continue to have good years. (I am threatening the years with a knife until they are kind to all of you.)

I hope to continue to shape this flat into somewhere pleasant to be, and persuade people to be there from time to time.

I hope to get a better idea of my work situation when I'm not on a horrible project.

I hope that the GIC might at least tell me that I'm on a waiting list!

I intend to find a tangible creative hobby one way or the other (taking suggestions as long as you can present a use case for the hobby; Queenie keeps suggesting knitting in the abstract).

And, as always, I hope to love more freely, be kinder and more helpful, and to try to build a future that has space for me.

#end of year nonsense

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esther-dot · 4 months

Note

I sent the show!Jonsa ask! Yeah, I was toying with it because one of the sticking points for me is figuring out why the show did or didn't do Jonsa and why that may or may not happen in the books. That to me is really some of the most damning stuff, and I can't point to Dany's arc in the show or Stannis' etc. (many of the examples you use) as argumentation for what makes sense in the books but have yet to have happened without, too, including Jonsa.

Anon asks are limited by length (and I would not want to waste your time with adding caveat after caveat lol) but I do also have complicated feelings about D&D; on the one hand I think there were serious problems on set and I have a lot of capital F feminist problems with them, but that doesn't belie all the creative work they put into the show (I do think there are Choices they made about how to portray romance without the source material at hand, and even before that honestly, but I already wrote that ask lol).

You're definitely right about the heaping of romantic parallels; one or two of those relationships alone could be written off, but the Sam/Gilly one is very weird, and Kit's acting choices are... very weird lol. Re: Sansa's jealousy, I had read that more as Dark Sansa foreshadowing as opposed to Jonsa jealousy, so I don't know???? When it comes to show!Jonsa I mostly only like the S6 dynamic anyway, so that might be down to some of my bias.

Basically I'm trying to entertain alternative ideas that might explain things as opposed to genuinely arguing for show!Jonsa being an accident, and I was thinking about this as well because it is an issue I've encountered with shipping/romance/fandom in general before. The male-gazey tropey dynamic ends up feeling off, but by virtue of the romance goggles of the author not being applied to another dynamic, it ends up feeling more mutual and less objectified and more interesting lol. A good example off the top of my head, given you've just watched the MCU films, is that I shipped Steve/Natasha (yes...) because the dynamic in Winter Soldier was above and beyond any other M/F pairing in the films. Naturally everybody goes on about ~platonic soulmates~ but I love good guys with sad/evil/redeemed ladies so I can't help it. Not saying it's at all canon though, I think they absolutely stumbled into that one.

I'm glad your nephew enjoyed the MCU films! I remember when I rewatched Endgame with my best friend, her dad came in and we had to keep explaining who the 'blue one and the green one' were. It made the film much better.

Anyway, thank you so much for entertaining my ask, and as always, being such a good sport. 🥰💝

(continuation of this convo)

You have no idea how much I sympathize with the caveat issue. I write answers and then delete entire paragraphs because I have such a tendency to try to clarify everything that it makes things less clear because I bury the point, but then I regret it when the vague blogs start. We all have limited time though, and every answer can't be thousands of rambling words! Sometimes I've literally just said "insert caveat" lmao!

I do also have complicated feelings about D&D; on the one hand I think there were serious problems on set and I have a lot of capital F feminist problems with them

I read this article about Emilia's experience on set for GoT (I have not been able to relocate it, but I did actually read an article with her quotes--it wasn't just a tumblr post), and I felt that she was taken advantage of when it came to the nudity/sex scenes. I actually think she meant for some of the stories to be amusing, but I felt sick reading it. She didn't say it was D&D, but apparently when she wanted to do less nudity going forward, she was told her fans expected it and it became a fight trying to move away from it, and....I just worry about the power dynamics with all these young actresses and what they're told they "need" to do. The fact that even if they ultimately agree to certain things, it still may be a result of coercion or they aren't actually being taken care of/feel safe when doing it...it left a very bad taste in my mouth regarding the behind the scenes stuff. And obviously, we all noticed the changes they made to the story, what they did to Sansa...plenty of things we can take exception to purely on what made it to our screens.

Basically I'm trying to entertain alternative ideas that might explain things as opposed to genuinely arguing for show!Jonsa being an accident

I enjoy doing that too! Groupthink is boring! I don't expect everyone to think the same way/come to the same conclusion, and I've changed my mind on a few things which only happens if we're willing to entertain different ideas instead of shutting people down. I mean, I'm not easily persuaded to a different way of thinking, but I try to be open to it. With the condition that someone interprets Sansa in a way I can live with which excludes most of the fandom/their theories tbh.

I basically work myself to one position and then back to where I started when it comes to show Jonsa. If it was an accident, I don't love it any less, if it wasn't, I'm curious what the hell happened. I didn't get what I wanted there, so it really doesn't matter to me what people conclude. I genuinely thought it was amusing when Kit acted surprised when he was asked about Jonsa because it was his face that was saying "not normal sibling feelings here." Silly man. 😂 And, D&D fucked up enough I don't like to take them too seriously, so I can't say, "this doesn't make sense therefore it was an accident" because, uh, a lot of their choices ultimately made no sense.

it is an issue I've encountered with shipping/romance/fandom in general before. The male-gazey tropey dynamic ends up feeling off, but by virtue of the romance goggles of the author not being applied to another dynamic, it ends up feeling more mutual and less objectified and more interesting lol.

I certainly agree about the general male v female view of romance. I found that a problem when I said that they didn't write a romance for Jonerys, and the guy I was talking to was like, "they had sex tho???" There was just...a massive gap between what we were looking for when talking about the characters/relationships. Although, he did know what I meant when I said "well, they filmed Jon and Sansa like a ruling couple." He immediately understood that. And, considering what they did to the sandsnakes (I'm not saying the line), I do understand the argument that if they meant for there to be a romance, they would have done it in such a way that we would have objected.

I think part of the reason I believed Jonsa was intentional was because I don't ship non canon pairings. My brain isn't one to think, "oh but what about those two" as I wasn't even involved in fandom before, and I generally just took what a story was and reacted to it, rather than re-configuring it. Obvy, having been in the fandom for so long now, that's changed somewhat, but for me, s7 was a total puzzlement, and Jonsa / some variation of poljon was the only way it connected to everything we had established before. In a bizarre twist, we didn't get the story that would make it coherent, but we still got the endpoint: Jon betraying Dany for Sansa. It's still weird to me, all these years later. Now I'm mainly bemused rather than angry though.

#dot chat

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austinsgirl · 1 year

Text

Rather Die | Chapter 11

rating: pg-13, talks of pregnancy, language

word count: 1986

cross posted on wattpad

master list

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“And cut! That's a wrap! Thank you everyone!" Anna calls out as the movie just shot their last scene. A very wet, steamy, rain kiss.

Austin high fives Vic, playing it cool. Although, he'd love to hug her instead, or do more. He hasn't been able to get her out of his mind the past couple weeks since their hook up.

Regret has been killing him. He hates what he did to her, falling for Eliana's alluring ways. He wishes he hadn't fucked up. Victoria would be his if he didn't.

He can't help but to bask her sexual beauty at the moment. Her wet tee, clinging in all the right places.

Austin starts to head to his trailer to get those thoughts out of his head.

"Hey, Butler!" Vic calls out to him. "See you at you at the wrap party?"

He's surprised she'd ask him such a thing, as he knows she's been dying to get filming over with so they'd never have to see each other again. Well, at least for a while until promos start.

"Uh, yeah! I'll be there."

"Cool. See you then!"

"Why'd you ask if he was going?" Mila questions Victoria.

"I wanted to know if my night would be more entertaining. If he's there, I get to watch him suffer in jealousy one last time because he'll see me & Ashton together."

"You're crazy, Vic."

"I know. But he's made my life a living hell, so."

Little does she know, Austin's been keeping up on the asshole act to hide his true feelings towards her, and he now finds it as a turn on to see her get all worked up & frustrated. So, lately, making her life a living hell has really been a benefit for him.

At the wrap party, drinks are being had, music is blaring through the speakers. It's almost as if it was the cast party all over again, but this time it was a different club.

Austin sits in the corner, sipping on an old fashioned as he watches Victoria & Ashton dance the same way he & Victoria danced the night things fell apart.

"Hey handsome." Eliana comes up & sits next to him.

"What are you doing here, Eli?" he asks, annoyed.

"You know I'd never miss a good party. And I knew you'd be here."

"Yep. I'm here. Probably going to leave soon though."

"Awe why? The party just started."

"Yeah, well, I don't really enjoy watching the girl I like dance with her boyfriend, so."

"Victoria?"

"Yeah."

"You like her again? You're over me?"

"Honestly...I don't think I ever stopped liking her deep down. I really regret kissing you that night, you know."

"How could you regret kissing me? I'm the best you've ever had, Austin."

"Don't be so sure of yourself, Eliana."

"So, Im not the best you've ever had?"

"Bingo. Sorry."

"Let me prove it to you. I still want you, Austin."

"No thanks, I'm good."

Eliana leans in closer to him, staring to nibble on his ear how he likes. "Cmon, Aus. I know you want-

"No, Eliana. Stop." he cuts her off. "I told you we were over, like a million times. It's not happening. You showed me your true colors that day I saw you making out with that rando. Vic was right about you & I really wish I would have listened to her." Austin gets up & starts heading out.

"Wait! Austin! Please! One more chance!" Eliana calls out.

Austin just ignores her & continues on.

Victoria notices that he's leaving. She starts to feel accomplished, thinking she was making him jealous enough to leave, but then she spots Eliana. She knew instantly she was the reason why Austin left.

"Thanks for making Austin leave! I was trying to win him back!" Eliana yells at Vic over the loud music.

"Yeah, okay. I'm sure he left because of you, because he was tired of listening to your bullshit. He told you plenty of times you guys were done for." Victoria says.

"No, he didn't, but okay."

"He did, I was there, everytime you came to set begging him to take you back."

"You're so annoying." Eliana says, storming off.

"Guess you haven't met yourself then!" Vic shouts to her.

Ashton whispers into her ear, "Wanna get out of here?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

A few weeks have passed & Victoria feels like a huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders not having to deal with Austin or Eliana. She hasn't seen or spoken to them since the wrap party.

Victoria's been happy to put the past behind her & get a new start. She's been looking for more opportunities now that she's been done with filming, and has had some time off to herself & to enjoy her new official boyfriend.

Ashton took her on a date to Dave & Busters, a place where a part of their first date took place. While Victoria was in the bathroom, Ashton had one a little teddy bear holding a heart out of a crane machine. When she came back, he asked her to be his. It was a cheesy moment, but Vic absolutely loved it.

"Hey, are you gonna ever stop looking for jobs today?" Mila asks Victoria, as she's been sitting at the counter literally all day on her laptop.

"Um, yeah. I'm about to right now actually. I'm starting to feel nauseous from looking at the screen too much." Vic responds.

"Oof, yeah. You're looking kind of green. Let me know if you need anything."

"I will."

Before she knew it, Vic was running to the bathroom to throw up.

"Do you feel better now?" Mila asks as Vic comes out of the bathroom.

"Yeah, a little bit. I think I'll be fine."

A couple days later

"Fuck." Vic mutters to herself as she sits on the floor in front of the toilet.

She gets herself up from the floor and finds Mila in the kitchen making herself a bagel.

"Mila?.."

"Hey, what's up?"

"I, um...fuck." Vic starts to form tears in her eyes. "I think I might be pregnant."

"You what?" Mila responds with a full bite of her bagel in her mouth.

"I think I might be pregnant, which would be insane because I've always been told at my gyno check ups that I may not be able to conceive because of how fucked up my cycles are & practically being infertile." she rambles, being nervous.

"Okay, slow down. Why do you think you are?"

"I just threw up again, and it like came out of nowhere. I don't know what else it could be. I've been feeling fine, it's not a constant thing like if I had food poisoning."

"I have a couple tests in the bathroom if you want to use them. I had a pregnancy scare a few months ago and impulsively bought like three boxes."

"Okay, yeah, I'll do that. But if I am...I don't know who the father is. Like it could be Austin from our one time or Ashton's."

"Have you told Ashton about that time with Austin like I've been saying you should?"

"No, I havent. I just haven't been able to find the right way to tell him."

"Well, you need to. Especially if you're pregnant & he could possibly be the father, or if you're pregnant with another man's baby."

"I know, I know. And if I am...I think I want to keep it. Like it would be a miracle if I am with the amount of times I've been told it would be hard for me to get pregnant."

"I get that. And no matter what, I'm here for you every step of the way."

"Thanks, Mila. I appreciate it. I'm gonna go take those tests since I have to pee anyways."

"Okay. Do you want to look at them together?"

"Yeah. I cant do this alone."

"Okay. Go pee, and I'll be right there."

Victoria does her business & takes the tests.

"This is the longest three minutes of my life." Vic complains.

"Thirty more seconds." Mila says looking at her timer.

When the seconds were up, Victoria took a deep breath & closed her eyes before looking at the tests.

Both tests read positive.

"Shit." Vic says to herself.

Mila reads the tests herself, "Oh my god."

"Now I really have to tell Ashton, huh?"

"Mhm. You need to tell Austin too."

"Fuck. I do, because I'm gonna have to get a paternity test."

"Are you for sure it could be Austin's?"

"Well, when I looked up how long it takes for early symptoms to start, it lines up with that time. I have this gut feeling too that it's his."

"Why?"

"Because in the heat of the moment, and not being prepared, Austin & I didn't use protection, but me and Ashton have been. Just incase, even though it would be unlikely I could get pregnant. But here we are."

"Oh damn. Who are you telling first?"

"I don't know. Austin I guess. He'd be easier to tell. I don't know."

Suddenly, there's a knock on the door.

"I'll go see who it is." Mila says.

She goes out into the main part of the apartment and answers the door.

"Oh, hi Ash! I didn't know you were coming over."

"Hey, Mila. Yeah, I wanted to surprise Vic with some Starbucks. I got you one too. Where is she?" Ashton asks.

"Aw, that's so sweet! Thanks! She's in the bathroom. I'll let her know you're here."

Mila let's Ashton in and goes back to the bathroom.

"Hey, Ashton's here. I think that's who you're telling first."

"Oh god. No time to prepare, but okay."

"I'm here if you need me. You know that."

"I know."

They both walk out into the kitchen.

"Hey! There's my girl! How are you?" Ashton asks.

Tears start streaming down Victoria's face. "Um, can we talk?"

"Yeah, of course. What's wrong?"

They go into the living area & have a seat on the couch.

"I've been meaning to tell you this for awhile now, because you deserve to know, but I haven't been able to bring myself to tell you, but I really need to tell you now."

"What is it, Vic?"

"A few weeks ago, before we made it official, and while I was still filming....Austin & I, we....we hooked up. It was a total mistake, and it shouldn't have happened, but it did, and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry it happened & I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner." Vic just sobs as she gets her words out.

"Hey, hey. It's okay. I'm glad you told me sooner than later. Things happen, and we weren't together yet. It's okay, really."

"But it's not..." she cries more, struggling to get the rest out. "I'm pregnant. And it could be his, or it could be yours."

Ashton covers his mouth in shock.

"I'm so sorry." Victoria says. "If you don't want anything to do with me, or the baby, I get it."

"Does Austin know?" he asks.

"No. I just found out right before you came."

"And you want to keep the baby? I mean, I'm sure you do, right? With your issues, I'm sure you're surprised this even happened."

"Yeah, I do. Whethers it's yours, or his. I just don't want this to change anything between us. I do really like you, Ash. Shit, I love you & I don't want to lose you over this."

"You're not going to lose me, Vic. I love you too. We'll get through this no matter what happens, alright?"

"Okay. Thank you for being so amazing, and understanding."

"Of course. Like I said, things happen. It's okay."

He reaches over & kisses the top of her head.

Now that the hard part is over, the next step is to tell Austin. We can only hope he'll take the news just as well as Ashton did.

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#austin butler #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler imagine #austin butler one shot #austin butler smut #austin imagine #austin butler rather die #rather die #elvis presley #elvis 2022 #elvis

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lizisshortforlizard · 10 months

Text

Living Dangerously - Chapter 26

Jurassic Park’s animal handlers: none of them ever mentioned by name in Michael Crichton’s original novel. Who were they? What were their lives like on Isla Nublar? Did any of them survive the disaster?

A year in the life of those responsible for the care of the dinosaurs. Many people would kill to have their jobs.

But would they die for it?

Jurassic Park novel/Jurassic Park film (1993)

Viewpoint: 3rd person female oc

Warnings: alcoholism and consequences thereof

Tagging: @heresthefanfiction @ocappreciation @wordspin-shares @howlingmadlady @arrthurpendragon @themaradwrites @starryeyes2000 (please lmk if you would like informed of my sporadic updates)

Read on Ao3

Chapter 25 | Chapter 27

Love Is A Battlefield - Pat Benatar

Lizzy sensed something was distinctly off when she spied Kathy making a beeline for her on returning to the visitor centre.

On the defensive, in a rigid stance, walking with purpose.

As she got closer and Lizzy's glasses brought her into focus she saw her friend looked angry, appearing to be muttering under her breath at breakneck speed.

Oh, this was going to be good.

"Hey, lose-“ Lizzy started before Kathy cut her off sharply.

“What are you up to with Muldoon?”

”Up to? What do you mean?” Lizzy was surprised by her tone. She sounded cold.

”I mean, you keep hanging around with our boss near the raptor pen. Just the two of you. Laughing and stuff. I saw the tape.” Kathy folded her arms and raised her eyebrows. “What’s that about, huh?”

Lizzy didn’t have an answer. What could she possibly say that wouldn’t set off Gennaro’s Impending Lawsuit alarm if he somehow got wind of this?

”What’s the matter, Lizzy? You can’t tell me?”

Right now, Kathy was reminding her all too well of the girls in high school she wouldn’t have hesitated to knock to the ground and give a bloody nose for daring.

She found herself wondering if Kathy had ever been one of those mean girls, that picked on kids like Lizzy for dressing in hand-me-downs. For dressing poor.

Her fists clenched instinctively, but she stayed frozen in place. The urge was passing. Kathy was so gentle, she could never. Even if this afternoon, she was getting on every single one of her very frayed nerves.

”Then I guess, after all this time, you aren’t really my friend, huh?” Kathy turned to leave, after a sidelong look at Lizzy, full of betrayal.

“Wait-“

“Friends don’t lie. I’m glad I got that interview at the Smithsonian now.”

”You…got-“

”Yeah, I got an interview!” Kathy yelled over her shoulder as she stalked off. “Guess I just forgot to tell you!”

”Well, then congratulations, I suppose!” Lizzy shouted at her retreating figure.

She felt as if the earth beneath her feet had given way, her stomach turning over like she was plummeting downwards. Hurt, sadness and regret all at once.

She’s leaving me.

***

Lizzy had stewed for a long while in the hot sun, finally accepting that yes, she was the one in the wrong after much arguing back and forth with herself.

Now she was running lines in her head, over and over, working on an apology of sorts. She needed to make this right. She had to find Kathy, make her listen, and explain what was going on in a way that wouldn't make her feel even worse about being left out. And all without giving too much away.

That would be difficult. Maybe impossible.

But she had another problem. There was now a tape, which meant there was a camera. What camera? Where camera? Who else knew? About The Plan?

Uneasy thoughts swirled through her head. Her whole body was burning up in guilt and frustration.

Why didn’t I tell her? I should have. It's Kathy. She would have had my back.

How could she fix it? How badly did she want to fix it? Kathy was leaving her anyway. Just like everybody else. They always left.

This was no good.

Lizzy desperately needed some space. She just needed to think. A few laps around the visitor centre would help. Stare out over the lake for a bit. Watch the birds. Hope Ed Regis didn't show up and start talking at her about how the baseball league was going back in New Jersey.

Good. Perfect. Gonna solve this, somehow.

The sun was thoroughly beating down on the top of her head. It looked like it might be cooler behind the staff lodge, under the trees. She knew there was a narrow alley lined on one side with high wire fencing. Beyond, the land dropped away steeply to the shallow stream that ran from the lake, eventually out to sea. It was scarcely more than a trickle unless there was a thunderstorm.

She’d never been back there before, never had a reason to be, until now. The ground was surprisingly uneven, and there were abundant weeds. Isla Nublar’s grounds maintenance crew clearly didn’t frequent this particular area.

Set-dressing. Lizzy thought. The parts people don’t see are where the mask slips down.

She picked her way over stones and furrows of desiccated mud, long since dried out and rock-solid, careful not to twist her ankle. Three-toed tracks led the way in front, from some unknown animal or bird. Lizzy kept going, through the ferns and horsetails, under the bedroom windows of her colleagues, until there was a dink! as one of her steel toe-caps came into contact with a solid object.

“What the-“ Lizzy squinted as she stooped down, searching with her hands until she found the culprit. She held it up to the light, the stray sunbeams reflecting through the surface.

An empty whisky bottle.

Her foot slipped and she heard more clinking in amongst the greenery below her. There were lots of them, all empty, moving against each other.

Shit.

Somebody on the island had a serious problem.

“Whose room is this?” She asked aloud.

Lizzy mapped the floorplan of the staff lodge in her mind. If the vent for the showers was there on the corner, and this was five down the corridor…and then to the right…

She frowned, shook her head, counted again.

Nope, she’d been right the first time. Then she noticed what was on the windowsill, and all doubt vanished in a sickening instant.

A small carved elephant. She knew then, because it was an in-joke amongst safari workers in Namibia, and more than likely Kenya too. All the tourists bought them, convinced they were authentic local art instead of mass produced and ridiculously overpriced.

She knew, because Jeff was exactly the sort to dole them out as gag gifts to his friends. She knew, because she had the exact same carved elephant on the windowsill in her room. Only her room was on the opposite side of the building.

What was it Tom had said on movie night? About The Shakes?

Everything suddenly clicked into place in one devastating moment and Lizzy could see what she had missed before, or perhaps had an inkling of deep down, but pushed down, refused, simply not wanted to believe.

Now there was proof. Solid evidence.

”No…” Lizzy's knees buckled at the shock when she realised, and she flung out a hand to grab the fence beside her. “No. He wouldn’t. He can’t.”

***

“-uldoon, where are you?”

“In a meeting.”

A few seconds pause. “-‘m coming.”

Thank Christ for Armstrong and her distractions. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d conjured up something urgent to get him out of this room.

“It honestly feels like she plans it, Robert. This better be important. Missing limbs important. Natural disaster, biblical or otherwise.” Richardson complained.

The ethologist didn’t bother knocking. She just about took the door off its hinges from the force at with which she swung it open.

The doorknob left a very visible dent in the plasterboard as it bounced off the wall behind.

“Oi, settle down young lady, that’s company pro-“ Richardson didn't hesitate to reprimand her.

Lizzy completely ignored him and instead zeroed in on Muldoon, who had stood up, already preparing to leave.

”You!” She pointed straight at him. “A word. Now.”

In her experience, game wardens were somewhat predisposed to high-functioning alcoholism. She knew a few of them that were fond of a sundowner or three.

But hiding it was what had alarmed her. Shocked her to her core. That was what her mother used to do, before the amount of money going missing from the chipped Toby jug on the mantelpiece every single week became too much to talk her way out of. It wasn't long before she made no attempt to hide it anymore. When she started taking it out on her kids, most of all on Lizzy.

Tom's drawling words on movie night came back to haunt her yet again. So much for kidding around.

The island now felt like a prison. The dark clouds of her childhood were creeping in around the edges of her sun-drenched paradise. A storm on the horizon.

Idiot. I’m such an idiot. I let this happen. I had to go and have feelings.

Muldoon had twigged by then Lizzy wasn't there to provide a distraction.

The look on her face spoke volumes. She’d gone an alarming shade of red. The forehead vein was developing its own sentience.

“Barging in here, may I remind you, you’re still on incredibly thin ice, Elizabe-“

"Don’t you want to go somewhere else?" Muldoon asked hesitantly, hoping he sounded braver than he felt. The prospect of being on the receiving end of her wrath wasn't very appealing this time. It felt different.

Lizzy didn't falter, even if she was about to be in big, huge trouble if she turned out to be wrong.

“I don’t care.”

Richardson, temporarily hushed, glanced back and forth between them quizzically, wondering what exactly was about to happen.

God, she was so beyond angry. She hadn’t been this full of unbridled rage in forever. Because it wasn’t fair. And it wasn’t right either, to make working alongside dangerous animals your business and end up dying on the job from a careless mistake because you were drunk.

Or even worse, bring about some illness that meant you died weak and feeble in a hospital bed in some smog-filled city, miles away from the birdcalls and dawn colours that had been your whole reason for being.

Lizzy was furious.

Muldoon realised what she had in her hand. Something made of glass in a shape he was all too familiar with.

Fucking Hellfire.

"Armstrong-"

“No.” Her voice was flat. “I don’t want excuses.”

“I wasn’t-“

"Here was me thinking you were too good to be true.” She wasn't done with him yet. “You are not the man I’ve read about.”

This woman and her goddamn inability to just leave things be!

“Then what do you want?" He sat back down, worn out. "What do you want me to say?"

Denying it was no good, and she'd see through the lie in an instant.

”I don’t know! I don’t…know-“

Lizzy seemed to lose her momentum, defeat written all over her, but compared to her quite frankly terrifying displeasure, Muldoon didn't like that either. It might have been a shock, Christ knew how on Earth she found out, who had told her. But her reaction did seem a bit extreme. It was his problem, and his alone. Nobody asked her to get involved.

“No, wait." She held up a hand. "I do know. I don’t want to help you with the rapt-, with stuff anymore.” She raised her eyebrows meaningfully. “You clearly don’t trust me as much as I trusted you.”

And Lizzy stormed out of the door as quickly as she'd arrived, leaving it wide open in her wake. They both heard her crashing and banging down the corridor as she left the building.

“Is the honeymoon over?” Richardson wasted no time, looking positively gleeful. "Do you need a minute? Shall we continue this later?"

“Everything’s fine.” Wasn’t at all, far from it. But what else could he do? Muldoon got the distinct impression she didn’t want to be followed this time. “I’ll deal with her later.”

He got a condescending nod in response.

“I’m sure you will. Women, eh? Nothing like a bit of hysteria every few weeks. You’ll learn.”

***

Lizzy went to The Tree. Her Tree. Her safe place. Only now it wasn’t. Two of her best memories there were ruined. Had Muldoon been drunk when he came to find her after Simon dumped her sorry ass? When she’d been alone and nobody knew where she was except him? Had she even been safe then, driving back along the jungle road in the dark? She was still carrying the empty whisky bottle. Lizzy had no memory of her route to the clearing, or for what reason she’d brought the evidence along with her. But at least she was alone now. Or so she thought.

“Finally figure it out for yourself, huh?” Tom popped his head around a branch, startling her enough to drop the bottle with a sharp clink against a rock. “Told you so.”

”Where in the Hell did you come from?” Lizzy spluttered. “Are you following me now?!”

***

"Hey! Muldoon!" Kathy shouted.

He had eventually left Richardson's office after an age, feeling numb as all Hell. At least Baker would be a friendly face, but she looked just as pissed off as Armstrong had been.

That was odd.

“I don’t appreciate being kept in the dark. I thought you trusted me!” She accosted him. “But no, Lizzy’s better. Lizzy’s number one. Same as always. I’ll never be as good.”

Surely not both of them in one day?

Muldoon sighed wearily. ”Baker, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

”The raptor?” Kathy hissed.

”Ah.”

That made sense.

Bloody animal’s already more trouble than it’s worth.

”You’re not even going to deny it, huh?” She looked surprised.

”Is there any point? You’ve clearly worked it all out.”

Muldoon wasn’t too worried just yet. Mad as she was, Baker was far less intimidating than Armstrong.

She pushed her glasses back up her nose, slipping dangerously low from how much she was perspiring after losing her rag at two of her closest colleagues in such a short timeframe. Kathy hated conflict. But it had to be done.

“Yeah, well…I gotta bombshell of my own! I’m leaving Jurassic Park. I’m going back to the Smithsonian!”

“You what?!” Now Muldoon was rattled.

“That’s right!” Kathy drew herself up. “I have an interview, but it’s just a formality! I’ve practically been offered the job!” It felt plain wrong turning her back on him and walking away, after everything he'd done for her, but still, she went and did it.

”Wait, Baker-“

She heard heavy boots following closely behind, catching up, but she didn't stop to look.

”I’m not Lizzy, don’t you dare come after me!”

Muldoon stopped and watched her go, trying to make sense of the day's events.

Indeed, he seemed to have lost both of them in one day. Two of his best.

Within the same hour, in fact.

”Shit.”

***

”So this is where you keep running off to, huh?” Tom gazed up into the canopy, nodding appreciatively. “It’s a good spot.”

“It’s much better when it’s quiet.” Lizzy muttered, snapping a twig into tiny pieces to keep her hands busy.

”Does she normally just…stare at you like that?” Tom pointed at the bulky head of the tyrannosaur, regarding them suspiciously through a gap in the tall trees and grumbling with every slow breath outwards.

”No. Must be your stench, since you followed me here.” Lizzy was in the middle of taking a closer look at the dinosaur’s breathing when Tom cut off her thoughts mid-flow.

”Jesus, I wasn’t following you!” He nearly yelled in frustration. The Hell does he have the patience for her? “Just wondering if you had finally connected the dots, is all.”

”Spying on me, then.”

“Oh, come on, Liz!”

She grabbed a new twig from the ground and began methodically turning it into pencil shavings. “Why were you being so damn cryptic about it? How did you find out?”

”It really wasn’t that hard.” Tom shrugged. “Surprised you didn’t notice sooner, what with your mom and all.”

”He hides it well.”

”Yeah, because he hides, full stop.” Tom shook his head at her missing the blatantly obvious. “You ever notice we never see him after they switch the lights on in the park at night? How he may as well be on the mainland on his days off? He hides!”

“Okay, enough.” Lizzy bit hard on the inside of her cheek. “You can stop trying to hurt me now. I get it. You win. Oooohhh, Lizzy’s an idiot for not spotting it sooner. Ha ha. Hilarious.”

Tom looked offended. ”Ain’t trying to hurt you…” He fumbled, then recovered. “He was never going to tell you! Aren’t you glad you found out now before you did something stupid and gave Gennaro a nervous breakdown drawing up a new clause for our contracts?”

”The Hell are you talking about?” She quickly became defensive, dropping the remains of the twig and folding her arms. Tom scoffed. ”It’s pretty obvious.” And he repeated the perverse hand signal he had made with his thumb and forefinger towards her on their very first day.

”Oh, please. You’re a child. I’m not like that.”

Not for a long while, at least.

“Whatever.” He sniffed. “We all got needs.”

There was a long pause, after which Tom spoke again first.

“Your mentor dude and Muldoon, they know each other, right?”

”What’s your point?” She was getting snippy with him.

”I dunno. Call him, I guess?” Tom offered. “Might make you feel better.”

“Not exactly easy to get hold of Jeff.”

“Quit bullshitting. Try. Call him. That’s a start. I ain’t so good at the comforting thing, so don’t you ask me for a hug.”

Lizzy smirked. “Me neither.”

“Pfft. I’ll say!” He leaned back and stretched his arms. “Man, when I first met you I thought you were a dick and a half. But…”

Tom waited expectantly for the likewise from her that never came.

”Jury’s still out.” Lizzy said dryly.

He shrugged, pulling a cigarette from behind his ear and reaching for his lighter. “Yeah, I guess, that’s fair.”

“Give me that.” The stress was getting to her, and sticks from the jungle floor weren’t keeping her hands and her mind busy enough.

“Nuh-uh! Keep your grubby paws off.” He pulled his lighter from his pocket and flicked it open in one smooth movement. “We gotta figure out what to do about this little situation.”

”Do we really have to?” As far as Lizzy was concerned, she was already done. She and Muldoon could still be colleagues, but not friends anymore. Kathy was right. Friends didn’t lie. Or at least, they trusted you enough to admit when there was something wrong. When they were struggling. When it could potentially hurt you to be around them.

“Are you kidding me?” Tom said through a mouthful of smoke, then coughed loudly. “This island will be unbearable otherwise. It could take years if I leave you to it. You’re both front-runners for the two most stubborn people I have ever met.”

”Who says I want to make up?” Lizzy bunched her hands up in her hair. “This hurts. This hurts more than Simon.”

”Wait. You’re serious?” He scratched his head. “Well, damn. Got me there.”

”We can’t survive this. It can’t be fixed. Not for me.”

”Liz…” Tom understood though. He knew. His own father had made sure he’d known, time and time again. “Shit, what happened to you, man?”

***

She was guilty. Guilty as Hell. And she had been pacing the halls of the staff lodge for a long time.

Kathy had already marched along the corridor in the direction of the former game warden’s room three separate times before changing her mind and scurrying back to her own. She was leaving it a bit late in the day, but she just felt terrible. She’d rather make things right privately than face an awkward situation at morning briefing the next day in front of everyone, the thought of which brought her out in a cold sweat.

After confronting Muldoon earlier, she ran straight to Ray Arnold, who had lost his damn mind at the drama of it all. Then she collapsed into tears, sobbing while the engineer consoled her and tried to offer her half of a peanut butter sandwich.

She couldn't be this person who held grudges, it wasn't her. It was exhausting.

And Lizzy was nowhere to be found, yet again. So Muldoon was first.

Lucky me. Lucky him. “I’m too good to them. They should be the ones apologising.” She muttered as she roamed the corridor for a fourth time.

Every footfall in the lodge sent her heartbeat racing, petrified in case Lizzy had gathered her senses and returned, on the hunt for her. But she braced herself and finally knocked on Muldoon's door, trying not to flee.

He took a long time to answer. Kathy choked back a gasp when he finally did. He looked terrible. She suddenly had a vivid memory of looking at pictures in the newspaper of US Army veterans, comparing ID photos from when they enlisted to when they returned home from the war. The difference in Muldoon from when she'd spoken to him earlier was nearly as drastic and shocking.

”Hello, Baker.” He sounded rough.

”I, uh-“

Shoot.

“Uhhhhhh-“ She faltered, full on rabbit-in-headlights. ”Oh, balls…”

“If it’s not important, can it wait-“ he started closing the door, not waiting for a response.

“No!” She panicked and rammed her foot into the gap between the door and the frame. “Then say something. This is painful.”

“I…I came to apologise.” Kathy conceded in measured tones. “You’ve been a great boss and mentor, the past few months. I regret what I said…yelled at you, earlier and I’d like you to come with me so we can discuss it, please.”

Gosh, she sounded so formal. She had never despised her telephone voice more than in that moment.

“This actually isn’t a very good time.” He shook his head. “You’ve not caught me at my best.”

“Actually, I think it’s the perfect time.” Kathy countered. “We’re not at work right now. We never hang out. You know I consider you a friend as well as my boss?”

“You’ll probably come to regret that.”

“Whatever. I know when my friends need help. And if you won’t come out, then I’m coming in!” Kathy threw her weight forward to barge past him, and succeeded, then stopped dead in her tracks.

The sight that greeted her was not what she was expecting. Her normally extremely put-together boss' room rivalled Lizzy's. It was a mess, stuff everywhere.

Kathy knew then. Something was very wrong.

“Woah.” She slowly turned around to face him. “Are you okay?”

His first instinct was to tell her off for looking at him with blasted pity, for God’s sake. He was sick to death of that question. But something about those familiar soft eyes stopped him from booting her swiftly back out into the corridor. Only just.

How does she do that? She deserved an answer, at the very least.

“Not really.” Muldoon finally admitted. “But I’ll survive.”

And so it goes. Always have done. Always will. Just surviving. Nothing more.

“Is this-“ she gestured vaguely around the room. “-because of me?”

“No. It’s nothing you should have to worry about, Baker.” He carefully shut the door behind her. “Not if you’re leaving us.”

“Then what happened?” Kathy still sounded horrified. “Extremely localised tornado?”

“In a manner of speaking…”

Baker was just staring at him, her forehead creased with worry and fear.

Muldoon sighed, she was here now. She may as well know.

“Liz- Dr Armstrong found out, somehow. About my, hm…problem. I suspect Kennedy is at least partly to blame.” He sounded resigned. “So, I suppose everyone in the Southern hemisphere is aware of it by now.”

“Hey!” Kathy pointed her finger angrily. “Gerry’s a gossip. Ray is the worst gossip I’ve met in my whole darn life. But Lizzy would never blab. Ever. She’s a good- hm…”

”A good friend?”

”Yeah…” She sighed. “Yeah, my best friend. I, uh...I fell out with her earlier too. Over the same thing."

"You what?"

Kathy shook her head sadly. “Yeah. Damn, I really blew up. But I was just so mad! With both of you! I’m Team Leader! Does that count for nothing around here anymore?”

“I should have kept you in the loop. But I want what’s best for these animals, I know how close you are with Arnold, and if Hammond found out-“

”Yeah, you should have told me.” Kathy interrupted. “So tell me now.”

She looked for a place to sit, then gave up, before delicately perching on the end of the bedframe.

Those eyes again. Damn you, Baker.

”Alright. Why do you think an ethologist is working as a glorified janitor?”

She pondered for a moment. She hadn’t really considered it before. Only known that Hammond wanted the best of the best, for as low a price as he could get away with. That part wasn't a secret.

“You’re worried about the dinosaurs.” Kathy nodded finally. “About that raptor.”

”I’m very worried about that particular raptor.” He corrected her. And Muldoon told her why.

“If the wrong people find out how intelligent it is, what InGen have created, what they could create-" He shook his head. “I probably can't guarantee that animal’s safety.”

”Keep doing what you’re doing, you can’t guarantee Lizzy’s safety either! Or your own! Intelligence of that degree and you really think she won’t bust out of her cage at some point?”

“I think it’s more when than if-“

Kathy tutted. “Only difference is, InGen don’t care about Lizzy. Or you. Or any of us.”

”True.” Whether Dr Armstrong was fired, or worse. The company’s priority was and always would be the asset. The money machine.

“And I know you do.” Kathy added slyly.

“What?” He sharply looked down at her.

”Care about her.” She said softly. “Far more than your obligation towards good ol’ Jeff, back in Africa.”

“Hm. Not true. Can’t afford to, really.” Muldoon denied.

”And why is that?” She pushed him, braver than usual.

He regarded her for a long moment before simply saying no with finality.

No.

Kathy wasn’t an idiot. His daughter must have had a mother once, somehow. And she suspected there must be some morbid reason Muldoon never spoke about her. How he seemed to pretend she had never even existed.

“You- Huh. You don’t have to tell me, but if you ever wanna tell me-“ Kathy realised she was way out of her depth and didn’t have an easy solution to hand, apart from the very obvious and probably infuriating just stop drinking. “Look, whatever you’re dealing with, I’m sorry. Really sorry.”

”Don’t give me sorry. It was a long time ago.” He grumbled. “And I’d like to leave it at that, if you don’t mind.”

”Sure thing.”

Kathy knew better than to push. No further discussion. But damn, she’d been close then, to breaking through The Wall. She’d felt it.

”Congratulations on your new job.” He was keen to wrap things up now.

“It’s just an interview, for now.” Kathy muttered sheepishly. “I might not even get it. Probably won’t.”

“Stop that. Of course they'll pick you, if they have any sense at all.”

Kathy glowed, now self conscious. She been caught up in emotions, and finally realised the gravity of being spotted leaving someone else’s room, much less her boss, after hours.

“Do you need a reference?” Muldoon asked briskly.

Kathy’s jaw went slack. She knew him well enough to figure out that it was his way of saying thank you to her. “Uh, yes please!”

”If you clear off right now, I’ll write you one tomorrow. If you’re still here in five seconds time, you’re cleaning the toilets for a month.” “That’s great. So grea-“ She beamed up at him.

“One…-“

”Got it, got it! I’m going!”

”Go faster. Two-“

“Byethanksseeyoutomorr-woah….”

Something on his desk caught her eye.

Kathy told herself not to look, to just go. But it was too late. She couldn’t help it.

She looked.

She stared.

Then she stopped walking and pointed. “What’s that?”

“None of your damn business. Leave.”

“But-“ She pointed more insistently. “Thing!”

She heard Muldoon shifting uncomfortably behind her, but she lost control of her arms and legs, driven by curiosity. Her hands were gravitating towards a scrap of paper on the table.

Was that-

“Christ 'sake. It’s too ask you to avert your eyes, isn’t it?”

“Guess so.” Kathy was reeling. He didn't sound that angry. “I mean, wow-“

For once, she didn’t wait for permission. She ever-so-carefully picked it up by the edges. There were only a few lines and some shading but the resemblance was uncanny.

“This is Lizzy.” Kathy stated, not a question.

“I suppose so, yes.” He was mortally embarrassed.

“It’s really good!” Her hair, her slightly wonky smile, the wicked spark in her eyes. “I didn’t know you could draw, never mind drawing people. You can sketch.”

He brushed it off. “Can’t, really.”

“Uh, yes you can. You definitely can.”

“I’m out of practice.”

“Oh, shut up.” She'd had just about had enough of Muldoon putting himself down. “Then practice by drawing Lizzy some elephants. She’d love that.”

“I’m not sure.” Something in his voice made Kathy drag her eyes away from the drawing. “Armstrong is not speaking to me at the moment.”

”You know what Lizzy’s like; she’ll be stomping around flaming mad for half a day and then she’ll be fine again. All will be forgiven.” Kathy tried to reassure him. "It's okay."

“I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me for this. It was clearly very upsetting for her.”

The moment he’d been trying to drown without effect for the past several hours flashed up painfully through the haze.

I trusted you. Past tense.

“You really like her, huh?” She asked in a small voice.

”Baker, I tried very hard not to.” He shrugged. “I know better.”

No he did not!

Kathy nearly punched the air and whooped. She eyed the empties under the table, trembling, trying to quell the fizzy feeling in her stomach when Muldoon finally admitted what she had known all along. “I thought so.”

“Damn you, girl. Are you happy now?”

“Well…no.”

”Good, don’t get your hopes up. No point anyway.”

“You’re just giving up? That easily? After one little bump in the road?” Kathy couldn't believe it.

“Didn’t say that.” He muttered. “But it appears the road’s been washed away.”

“Then build a bridge or find a frickin’ boat!” She just wanted to shake him. “You can still fix this. Pack. It. In. For good.”

“I have a daughter back home, you think I haven’t tried?”

She was done with accepting his excuses this time.

“You didn’t have me the last time you tried.” Kathy announced. “You believed in me when nobody else here did. It’s my turn.”

“Baker, I can’t ask you to get involved.”

She nodded earnestly. “But I’m really good at getting involved! You watch.”

“That’s a grand idea. But it’s not as easy.” Muldoon tried to drive home the point he was making. “Nothing can happen.”

“Oh, please. This thing you have with Lizzy is just plain weird." Kathy grinned at him. “But it’s only a job, after all. You'll get another one."

He nodded, and Kathy could have sworn he was fighting back the tiniest smile.

“Well played, Baker.” He conceded. “If you breathe a word of…this to anyone, I’ll-“

“Make me clean the toilets for a month, I know, I know.” She chuckled. “I’m learning.”

“Now bugger off, girl." He opened the door for her. “Maybe we’ll all feel better after we’ve slept on-...whatever in God’s name this is."

"I agree. Goodn-"

They both heard the bang! of a door slamming elsewhere in the lodge and a panicked Texan accent calling for help.

“Anyone in?” The voice rose in pitch when no-one answered. “Hello? Hello?!”

“What the-“ Kathy whispered, not sure how to react.

“We got a problem, guys!" Tom was banging on doors as he made his way closer towards them. "Has anyone seen Gerry Harding!?”

”Kennedy? What’s happening?” Muldoon gave Kathy a sharp glance as he shouted back. “Staff or animal?”

”It’s- it's Rexy!” Tom panted, clutching his ribs as he finally came into view around the corner. “Something’s really wrong with her!”

***

Thanks for reading!

I realised it was taking me stupidly long to write this chapter because I hated, COULDN’T STAND the idea of them falling out over something. And like idiots, they could solve it just by talking about it BUT THEY DON’T. BECAUSE THEY’RE IDIOTS! So. Yeah. Hurt to write this one. That’s the good stuff though. Love it. Love. It.

I recently found out Bob was a very talented artist. Like, insanely good, could-have-made-a-living-from-it good. I couldn’t stop thinking about it and HAD to include a nod in the story somehow. The man continues to impress me.

#new chapter people!#finally!#jurassic park oc #living dangerously #welcome to jurassic park #jurassic park #oc: lizzy armstrong #oc: dr lizzy armstrong #jurassic park female oc #robert muldoon x female oc #robert muldoon #kathy #donald gennaro #ray arnold

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whumpy-daydreams · 9 months

Text

A change of scene

Masterlist

Previous Next

CW: past injury

It took two more days before the fever completely left, and Rowena was eager to see someone who wasn't a guard. Staying cooped up in her cell was lonely and boring.

As a reward for good behaviour and a whole month without an escape attempt she'd been allowed an hour in the common room with the low security inmates.

Cosy was not a word she'd use to describe the room. Like every other room it was shades of white and grey, but it did have sofas. They were vinyl and didn't look particularly comfortable, but were better than metal stools welded to the floor.

After a stern warning her handcuffs were released and Rowena was free to seek out Emma, Shaan, and Dani. They were sat together in a corner, uninterested in the crappy daytime TV.

"What happened to you?" She asked as she approached, taking in Shaan's appearance. His face was covered with bruises, and his arm was in a sling.

"Can't say you look much better." He grinned, and winced. "Got on the wrong side of a blond guard with a liking for violence."

"Tall, would be attractive if it weren't for the permanent leer?"

"Yeah. You know him?"

"He stabbed me a month or two ago. And beat my face to a pulp too." No need to mention he'd only done it after she tried to escape.

"Please tell me you got a couple hits in."

"Don't worry, I'm not sure he'll be able to have children any more." Rowena grinned and Shaan laughed, despite his grimace of pain.

"We weren't expecting to see you here," Dani chimed in, gesturing to a spot on the floor next to her.

"A reward for 'good behaviour'," Rowena said, sitting down. "Didn't stop the scientist bitch from having some fun though." Dani flinched and she regretted bringing it up.

Her and Dani had become friends in the few weeks she'd been allowed to have lunch with them, and although she was quiet she could also be very funny.

"Do you watch TV often?" Rowena asked, desperate to change the subject.

"Every day they put us in here for a couple hours. But it's all reruns - no news or anything," Emma said. "They play a film once a month. Romcoms usually."

Rowena sat back, watching a two year old episode of big brother while Shaan and Emma played chess. Dani sat next to her, legs leaning against hers.

It felt strange to be so close to someone and not feel dread. And yet when Dani rested her head on Rowena's shoulder she flinched.

"I'm sorry." Dani backed up quickly, hands up.

"No, no it's... fine." Rowena laughed breathily. "I just wasn't expecting it that's all." She'd never seen Dani's eyes up. A deep warm brown, flecked with a golden brown. Rowena looked away quickly.

Dani sat back, suddenly fixated on the TV despite her fidgeting fingers. Slowly Rowena moved back next to her and leaned in, gently resting her head on her shoulder. At first Dani didn't move, but she gradually relaxed, curling up a little.

They stayed there in silence, each enjoying a brief respite in hell.

#mortiawrites #a bit of gay fluff for you in these trying times #taking suggestions for more rowena whump btw #there is more fluff scheduled though

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smolwritingchick · 5 months

Text

The Bangtan Gal Chapter 26- BTS China Job

Chapter Summary: Throwback Chapter of when BTS went to China

Words: 2,000+

----

Arriving at the Gimpso Airport, early in the morning, Jen and the guys were filmed for their documentary as they tried to practice their Chinese.

"I really should've paid attention in Chinese class," Jen said with a hint of regret.

Jennie (Back in elementary school before there were budget cuts, we always had a Chinese teacher come into our classroom and teach Chinese for an hour on Thursdays. I didn't do any of the homework and would copy off my friends *laughs nervously* uh, yeah now I wish I paid attention. Mom, Dad, are you watching this? Uh...I'm sorry? Parents can't ground their kids that are out of the country...can they?)

Once they arrived in Beijing at the capital Airport, fans eagerly waited for them and ended up screaming when they saw them arrive. With security guards, all around them, the eight members walked through the screaming fans who were taking videos and pictures.

Bunched together with the rest of the members and security guards, Jen managed to wave and smile at some fans, who happily fangirl and fanboy over her acknowledging them. She didn't think the fans would be this loud in China. It was a sight she would never get used to.

When they headed outside, Jen decided to quickly take a few selfies with some fans before the security guards escorted her to the bus.

"Picture! Picture!" She heard fans say in English, motioning for their cameras and phones.

"She's at it again with the fan engagement." Namjoon looked on as he got on the bus.

"The manager is going to scold her." Jimin let out a giggle.

"Jennie, we need to go." The manager ordered her.

"I'm coming!" Jen replied, making her way to the front of the bus.

"Jennie! Please! Picture! Picture!" A female Chinese fan asked in English, gesturing to her phone.

"Okay, but then I really have to go." She smiled and posed for her camera. When she heard, the manager scolding her, she bowed and headed inside the bus. "Sorry, sorry."

Jennie (I always get scolded. But I can't help it! They waited so long to see us, I wanted to take a few selfies. I feel like we should be able to engage with them before we leave.)

Sitting next to a window, she waved at the fans surrounding the bus to take pictures. Throughout the entire bus ride, Jen and the guys tried to pronounce Chinese words.

"Hello! I'm the Bangtan girl, Jennie!" She greeted softly in Chinese while bowing.

"Bang! Tan!" Rapmon shouted.

"Hello! We are Bangtan Boys!"

"First, welcome you all to Beijing!" The PD said, earning cheers in response. "What are you looking forward to the 2nd time, you're in China?"

"This time, we're here to participate in the award show. It's also our first time attending an award show overseas. We're looking forward to seeing if we will win an award." Suga answered. "It'll be good if we win an award."

"It's also our first time having a fan meeting overseas! No, it's a fan sign. I'm really looking forward to our fan sign." J-Hope added

"The food and sights are what I'm also looking forward to!" Jennie answered eagerly.

"Last time we ate a lot of good food," Jungkook spoke up.

"What did you eat?" Jin asked.

"Meat!" Rapmon called out while they talked about duck and other foods. "This time we're here to participate in the award show and fan sign. But we're anticipating just the fact that this is an overseas trip. This is also our first time having a show performance in China. Yinyuetai told us to film a special documentary. We feel very honored. We will work hard in filming it!"

"For the next three days, our production team will be with you. Hope we all can become close." The PD said.

"Please look after us, thank you."

--------

'MasterCard Center'

After their bus ride, they arrived backstage in the waiting room, setting their stuff down and curiously looking at the refreshments that were in store for them. When they headed to the dream stage with their mics, they prepared for their rehearsal.

'What do you think of the stage?'

"I'm a bit shocked seeing such a big stage. Because we've practiced many times, it should suit this stage." Rapmon answered, looking around in amazement.

"Jennie, please greet everyone." The camera went to her as she smiled and bowed.

"Hey, I'm Jennie. This stage is huge! I'm excited to perform on it. I'm impressed. Good looking stage." She nodded in approval.

"What habits do you have before going on stage?"

"Oh, definitely butterflies and I like to jump around, to get my blood flowing. That usually helps me. Here, I'll demonstrate." She started jumping up and down, happily. "Oh, and cartwheels! See!" She started cartwheeling around the stage, earning loud laughs from J-Hope and Jimin.

The camera shifted to Rap Monster watching her with a sigh.

"Jennie...she's...she's thrilled, right now. Whenever she's happy, she goes on a cartwheel frenzy. She's...very happy, right now." He laughed.

After they practiced Boy in Luv, the staff gave them suggestions on their performances and rehearsed a second time. Once they went backstage, Jennie was drenched in sweat, grabbed a bottle of water from the staff, and drank half of it, in big gulps.

After settling down backstage, Jen and the guys were seated for their interview. "We will start now. Each of you, please introduce yourself."

With everyone turning to Jennie, she successfully introduced her name and age in Chinese. After the introductions, the PD asked them, "There were a lot of fans at the airport. How do you feel?"

"I was totally surprised," Suga said in astonishment.

"The fans always come to see us like that. But I'm afraid they will get hurt since there's a lot of people. There's pushing and shoving so I'm worried about the safety of the fans. But I'm truly thankful to the fans that come all the way to see us. They waited for a long time." Rap Monster answered.

Pointing to Jennie, he mentioned, "I actually thought we lost Jennie, for a moment because one second she was with us, the next she was gone." His comment earned loud laughs from everyone as she grinned sheepishly.

"I tried to take a few selfies with the fans." She answered.

"How did that go?"

"It went well for a few seconds and then the security pulled me away to stay with the group. I got pushed a little bit but it's nothing to stress over. The Manager scolded me for trying to wander off." She chuckled nervously. "One day I think the manager is going to tell me I can't have my favorite food anymore if I keep doing that. But I'm just thankful for the fans that come to see us, but please stay safe."

"Yes, it's very dangerous."

"Whose Chinese has improved the most?" PD asked.

V stood up. "It should be me." He answered confidently. He decided to introduce himself in Chinese while Suga pressed on to make him say something else in Chinese. Out of nowhere, V started saying random Chinese words.

After his shenanigans, Rap Monster pointed out that V and J-Hope had been studying their Chinese.

"Is there any Chinese you want to learn?" PD asked.

"Pretty." V called out.

"I want to learn to express my feelings to the fans in Chinese," J-Hope said

"'Shuai' means very handsome to a guy." The PD informed.

"Ooh, then I'll use that if the male fans approach me. Shuai." Jennie said the Chinese word a couple of times, getting used to the word.

"Let me teach you how to say 'Chinese ARMY is very cute'." As the PD demonstrated they repeated it multiple times. "Last question! What do you look forward to in tomorrow's performance? What kind of performance do you want to show the fans?"

"It's our first time performing Boy in Luv, in China," Rapmon answered.

"It's also our first time overseas," Suga added.

"Our first performance and we're only performing one song. We'll use this song to mesmerize all of the fans!"

"We want to show everyone our charms." J-Hope beamed.

"We want to show our charms to the Chinese fans." Suga continued.

'Unique charms that only belong to BTS!'

"Our strong dance in our performance is also very charming." Rap Monster guaranteed. "We must show that to our overseas fans. It's a pity if we only perform it in Korea. Tomorrow's performance..."

"Please look forward to it~" They shout and applaud.

------

'Bangtan Dorms'

'If you thought BTS's first day in Beijing ends like this, then you're wrong because we have special VJs'

Jennie headed back to the hotel room with snacks from the snack machine, only to catch Jimin shouting, "Received the newcomer award!"

"Newcomer award! BTS!" Rapmon announced as V dropped his jaw.

"Oh, my God! Really!? OH really!?" He shouted in English while Jennie slowly walked in, deadpanning at V while the guys laughed. "Chinese ARMY I love you!" He made a heart before getting kicked in the butt by Jennie. Getting back to his feet after getting kicked, he giggled, "Hi, Ennie!"

"BTS!" Jimin announced, turning to Rapmon. Suddenly falls back on the bed, making a loud scream as he started freaking out. His sudden outburst made Jennie laugh out loud as she watched him jump on the bed.

Jimin turned to Suga as he stood up and clapped, calmly, after he was asked what he would do if they won. "He's pretending to be reserved but inside he's totally..." J-Hope trailed off.

"But we didn't!" V shouted and Suga ended up fake crying. "The award did not go to Bangtan!"

"He's crying. His acting looks so real!"

"We got the award!" Jimin shouted and J-Hope ended up making an ugly face as he fake cried.

"I brought some snacks, here you go." She handed them the bagful of snacks.

"Jennie, Jennie, what would you say if we won the newcomer award?" Jimin asked. "And the award goes to...BTS!"

She started sniffing and covered her mouth. "I-I need a moment..." She turned around before she turned back around, screaming, "WOO HOO~ WE DID IT! WOOOOOOOO! UH HUH! UH HUH! WE DID IT! YIPPY! WEEEEEEEEE! AHHHHHHH!" She managed to do a cartwheel in the room.

Loud noises of laughter were heard as the guys continued to watch her goof around with them.

----

The next morning, around 8:00 AM, Jennie was awake and getting her hair styled in the dorm.

"Munchkin~ hello!" J-Hope greeted her in Chinese.

"Hello!" She greeted him back in Chinese.

"How did you sleep?"

"I slept well. I'm ready for today, very excited."

"Good, good. Let's move on to see where the rest of the guys are doing." J-Hope migrated to another room.

Later, they arrived at the MasterCard Center and headed backstage to the waiting room to get ready. Jennie wore a black dress while the rest of the guys wore their black tuxes. She wore her name tag and got the finishing touches on her hair and lips.

"Do I look okay? I hope I do. I don't look crazy, do I?" She giggled to the camera. "Ah...don't let me trip on this long dress." She gestured to the length, while her hair was in a bun with curls on each side.

After walking out to the red carpet, looking sharp, and receiving a warm welcome from the fans, they end up winning the Rookie Award during the show. As soon as she heard that they won the award, Jennie fist pumped out of excitement

'Beijing Fansign'

More than 200 fans attended the fan sign. Once they finally filled up the seats, it was finally time for them to walk out. One by one each member walked out as the fans screamed loudly.

Jennie sat in between Suga and V, amazed at the turnout. She wore a red jacket, a white shirt under it, a black bow tie, with black pants, like the rest of the members' outfits but with a girly touch.

"Ni hao!" She greeted over the loud screams and cheers.

Once the fan sign started, the fans came by and she quickly signed the autographs, greeting the fans politely in English and Chinese.

Watching a young Chinese girl approach her, Jennie happily said, "Hi!" while having a sweet smile on her face.

The girl looked timid as she stood in front of her. She sounded uncertain as she began to speak in broken English, "Hello, Jennie. I learnt English to be with you."

Astonished, Jen held the girl's hands. "Wow, you're learning English, just to talk to me? Thank you, so much. That makes me very happy."

"Happy? I happy, too."

Jen continued meeting a variety of fans, but the one person who touched her the most was when a young woman approached her and spoke in fluent English.

"Jennie! I'm President of your fan club in China, helping our Chinese fans to learn English, just to talk to you."

"N-no way! Seriously?"

"Yep! We have a lot of members, so far. We're delighted that we finally get to meet you!"

"Gosh, I wasn't prepared to begin crying, today." She exclaimed as she wiped the tears of joy that were in her eyes.

'It's time to give back to the fans'

"We have a few questions to discuss with Bangtan. You guys are the first Korean artist to hold a fan sign in mainland China. How do you feel about being first?" The MC asked.

"Honored. Like, wow. Words can't explain how thankful we are to be able to do this." Jen answered in a bright tone. "I found out there are some ARMYs who are learning English to speak to me, I'm overwhelmed with joy."

"We are able to get close with the fans during a fan sign so it feels really good." Rap Monster added. "But it's a bit regretful that we couldn't get to talk more with everyone. We feel very honored to be able to have a fan sign like this. We are excited to be able to meet everyone up close."

"Your great performance at yesterday's Yinyuetai V Chart Awards Show, and you even won an award. We saw Bangtan also posted their own photos. I want to ask, is our award still well?" The MC asked

"Yes, we kept it very well. We will keep it well after we return to Korea." Suga answered.

"Our Chinese fans came up with very cute nicknames. Let's say leader's nickname first okay?" The MC turned to the crowd. "What is leader's nickname?" She heard them shout it out.

"Rap Monster's nickname is La Meng." Which meant Rap Mon.

"What is Jin's nickname?"

"Princess!"

Laughing out loud at Jin's nickname, Jen, along with the rest of the members teases him while Jin covered his mouth.

"What is Suga's nickname?"

"Tang Tang!"

"What is J-Hope's nickname?"

"Hope!"

"Now what about Jimin's?

"Ji Mi Hua!"

"Jimihua is a type of food made with chicken." The MC explained. "Now what is V's nickname?"

"Tai! Tai!"

"A cute way to say Tae is Tai Tai." The MC added. "Now what is our maknae Jungkook's nickname?"

"Guo Guo!"

"Lastly, what is Miss Bangtan's nickname?"

"Airen!" They shout, calling her sweetheart.

Sweetheart?

What a cute nickname.

Hearing the fans shout it out caused Jen's face to heat up, covering her face, shyly. The fans thought it was cute and continued to cheer.

"Xiexie! Wo ai ni!" She waved at them.

"After this interaction, we will start today's intimate event. From the 200 fans at the fan sign, we will pick two lucky winners to take a picture with them onstage. And by request of Jennie, receive a hug from her." The MC said. After the guys play rock paper scissors, V won and chose the

lucky number and then Jin chose the next number.

The first fan headed to the stage greeted them shyly and posed for the group photo. After the picture, Jennie hopped off the stage and circled her arms around the girl, pulling her in for a warm hug. The fan began to act giddy in her arms. After she pulled away, the girl held her heart, still in shock.

"Jennie, you give warm hugs." She mentioned in a bubbly voice.

"Awe, really? I'm flattered." She smiled at the girl and made her way back to her seat. After she hugged the next lucky winner, the MC said her closing remarks.

"I know we feel reluctant to part with Bangtan Boys and the Bangtan Girl. Everyone must remember to go to Yinyuetai, Yinyue V Chart and vote for them. Also, you must go to our site to buy their album to support BTS. We'll see each other again at our next fan sign. Bye bye!" The MC closed the show.

#bts 8th member #the bangtan gal #bts #bangtan boys #bts fanfic

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