#so. that’s my best roast

[munamania]

guess who made their instagram public 😐

#girl what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament #want to die tbh. bc. it’s so rude how i’ve been like Ppl who wear watches r so cute #and i’m being treated to a coupley photo with the watch hand 😭🔫 #i had a reason i was looking at this. like i do not often go hmm lemme go look at her bfs account #also why is my bestie from my FLOOR following him. anna this isn’t you 😭🤧😔 #YKW this is so. because. i’ve been saying #omg if i have to see couple photos during pride month this is homophobia #this is the universe pointing and laughing at me #and at this point. with it going on a month and a half since i’ve even spoken to her. y’all can do the same #whatever i don’t even care also he can’t put up a hammock is holding her hand with the lamest wrist possible and looks like a lame bigfoot #so. that’s my best roast #gonna go listen to phoebe or some shit #no whatever i’ll. i’ll go back to my besties violent femmes #what was my saying a month ago. i’m young and hot and i won’t accept a life i don’t deserve ty bestie maxine #i also restarted my stoner phase after nearly a year bc i was sad so. that was only so effective #i hate it here. is he clowning me. i hate it here #abby talks #ok i’m gonna watch malcom itm it’ll cheer me up

[musubiki]

danmarch 🐉💎

#honkai star rail #dan heng #march 7th #danmarch #fanart #hsr #what else do i tag. i have no idea #anyway. im breaking my VERY LONG oc art streak to post my one(1) contribution to star rail #i care them very much #ive been playing this game so religiously and they have not left my team #tragic past(emo) vs tragic past(girly pop) #theres NO WAY with marchs very teenage girl mind that she does not have a crush on the hot cool mysterious yet caring dragon guy #who stays in the room right next to her #and the fact that he teases her so much........ #the whole ass belabog quest he throws in little harmless march roasts every so often #he fucking CARE her #i bets shes like a filipino mom with that camera. every oppertunity (picture!!!!) #and dan heng gets dragged into it #he is honing his photography skills against his will #any nice place? shes like (lemme pose can you get a photo of me?) #dan heng just sighs #they bond over silently judging stelle rummaging through the garbage #cast each other that best friend glance as half her body is sticking out of a trash bin #i like to think you see them hanging out on the train together #with dan heng reading some obscure 8th century book on civilization pattern and development #and march is humming and putting stickers and aesthetic shit in her scrapbook #taping a piece of antimatter legion loot in the middle of a page #and with bubbly handwriting (we beat some bad guys today!!! <333 so fun!!)

[mer-se]

vegan food is boring

#some stuff I’ve eaten recently #that third pic I made yesterday and I need it again rn #quinoa harvest bowl with roasted veggies and homemade sauce #some chickn in there too #was actually the best thing #and my dads on a pizza making kick #so good #I wish I had a good picture of the burger from rhythm n wraps but I don’t #we always eat it in my car in the dark like wild animals #then go take a walk and see all the pretty architecture around #but anyways go get a cheeseburger from them if ur in the boston/cambridge area #vegan food #food

[marisatomay]

“you don’t owe anyone anything” actually you owe everyone everything!!! you OWE your table server and your coworkers and the elderly person you pass on the street and the dog on its walk and the child toddling along in the park and the driver trying to merge next to you and the pregnant person standing on public transport KINDNESS in return for theirs!! the connections we build are what give life meaning!!!

#a buddy of mine is a server and is getting ROASTED on twitter for complaining about #how often nowadays people will just completely ignore her when she greets them and asks how they are and what can she get them started with #and when they DO finally acknowledge that she Exists they’re rude about it all #and how demoralizing and dehumanizing it is #and of course people have taken this and decided that being told it’s rude to ignore that your server exists is actually ableist #like jesus fucking christ you people can’t do anything huh #like i’m serious i’m ND and have terrible days where i go mute sometimes and you know what i do? #do my best to not go out places that require social interaction but if i Must then i’m not a prick to the people i come across #because my issues aren’t their fault. and i owe it to them to not make their lives harder. #anyway i’m so angry for bailey people are so awful grow up and have some fucking AGENCY

[bleh1bleh2]

S'mores !!!!

#dont worry lance is fine. he started it and is just being dramatic. #pidge is eating raw marshmallows like popcorn #i think keith is just like me. in that he would put a piece of chocolate in a marshmallow and then cook it #the goal being to have melted chocolate with the marshmallow and No Graham Cracker. sometimes the graham cracker is too dry #BUT let it be known that i am very good at roasting marshmallows. the best in my family #on a different note allura deserves fun little earrings so she has lollipops <3 #and i dont know anything about timelines. theyre either on earth or found smores supplies at a space mall #its fine and makes sense <3 #voltron #klance #(to me) #my art

[theaxolotlkween]

Silly little comic I made.

#the burnt lettuce part is probably true tbh #van kleiss just seems like the kind of guy who would smell like burnt lettuce #even after he’s no longer literal dirt just figurative dirt #rex actually does regrow limbs he’s like a freaky little mechanical axolotl boy #i wish we’d gotten to see what rex regrowing a limb actually looks like in the show and not just in the comic #it probably would’ve looked really cool and i want to see it #van kleiss probably learned that rex could regrow limbs by nefarious means and rex probably doesn’t remember it #which is probably for the best that man has traumatised him enough #i honestly didn’t mean to have van kleiss deciding to be a dick by giving an answer to noah and not rex #but i didn’t want to just have him stand there in the background because that’s boring #and it somehow fits the pettiness of who he gives information to willingly because it’s not rex and it almost never is #every time i watch the show noah and rex become even more boyfriends to me #also i think noah deserves to get in a dig at vk every once in awhile #like van kleiss did almost have him killed and he had to see van kleiss stabbing rex in the first episode #and van kleiss turned him into an evo once so like #yeah he should get to roast him sometimes #sarcastic unhinged trans noah my beloved #generator rex #generator rex fanart #genrex #genrex fanart #rex salazar #noah nixon #van kleiss #noex #theaxolotlart

[hwanswerland]

happy birthday jazzy @woosansang ♡♡♡

#fio.gifs #tuserjazzy #atzsource #san #wooyoung #yeosang #im very sorry i really wanted to include the knees in some way but i couldnt find any video that would have fit the rest of the vibe #the amount of shit i found on discord lmao but most of that i couldnt really put here so #also i hope you rb this at least twice bc i put that san first so the next time i see him in my notes its at least my own set #i hope you have a great day after all the stressful things happening <33 #*like they're probably still happening but idk what words to use here rn but you get me #i hope you find some time between all that to at least yell at me for this and roasting and personally attacking you yet another time lmao #thank you for being my friend <3 have the best time today with your friends <3 #(sorry im still sick my brain is fried i cant think so this half assed whatever has to do sorry)

[ne-cocoa]

Heya there! How is goin?? Sooo I've seen that MK likes to give tickly kisses to Red Son and I wonder, does Macaque or Wukong do the same? Can we see some drawing of that moment between them? Thanks a lot!! ♥️♥️

I’m doing great!! Thank you for asking luv 🥰💖 ♡´･ᴗ･`♡ absolutely! Idk which pair is cornier in their romance 😭💖 most certainly Macaque XD

#so many asks in a day.. wowzers talk about intimidated XD #I’m like- such a crappy artist where did u people come from omg 😭 #but I’ll get them done! promise #I’m not used to answering them so it takes a lot out of me! that or I can’t draw what’s being asked pffft 😭 I’m entirely self taught XD #but send as many asks as u want! I’ll do my best to be as speedy as possible #monkie kid #lego monkie kid #sketch #lmk #lmk art #lmk au #roasted marshmallows au #sun wukong x macaque #monkie kid shadowpeach #shadowpeachshipping #shadowpeaches #lmk shadowpeach #shadowpeach #monkie kid sun wukong #sun wukong #liu er mihou #lego macaque #lmk six eared macaque #macaque #monkie kid macaque #monkie kid fanart #monkie kid au #lego monkie kid fanart #lego monkie kid au #lmk sun wukong

[castielafflicted]

it has come to my attention some of you might not truly understand my sandwich qualifications and why I've been calling them "shitty turkey sandwiches" when they're a perfectly normal quick sandwich of cheap white bread, american cheese, turkey lunch meat, and mayo.

behold 6 sandwiches I have made

my normal effort sandwich includes: cheddar cheese, at least one meat (or eggs), (usually) pickles, lettuce, tomato with salt and pepper, mayo, garlic and onion powder, and sometimes dijon mustard. the bread is not always toasted, but for a Good sandwich I dry toast one side in a skillet. a quick sandwich in my mind is cheddar and tomato or cheddar and lunch meat, but never american. my high effort sandwiches get wrapped in wax paper and sit a little bit so i get away from the Sandwich Making Smells and like them even more.

the first sandwich has a whole ass omelette with caramelized onions and garlic and bell peppers. it's on toasted garlic cheese bread. it has roast beef, mayo, yellow mustard, cheddar, the omelette, and tomato with salt and pepper. i still dream about this sandwich. the third sandwich is on sourdough i made myself.

so, comparatively, i am eating very shitty turkey sandwiches.

#zeph posting #like! i have made the best sandwiches ive ever eaten #i think the context of “shitty turkey sandwich” is lost on people that truly dont know my sandwiches #i made a tuna melt once for an old roommate in like 2020 that they still think about regularly #that double decker sandwich? the second half i cried while eating it #and the omelette one was so good i went back to the store to get more roast beef fore #sandwich #food #i dont care that this is my supernatural blog its going in tags where people see yhis shit #thank you cawis for making me think abt these sandwiches

[jattendschaton]

From the literary masterpiece “be your july” by our Ladrien lord and savior, Reiaji 

I wanted to have it done by July 14th and then when that didn’t work, at least by the end of July (how could a piece inspired by “be your july” not be posted in July?) but! here we are instead

#miraculous ladybug #ladrien #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #ml fanart #lovesquare #my art #drawn for an absolutely incredible friend who deserves the world #i hope i have done ladrien justice #there's more that I wanted to do with this #but i think this is for the best #also i know they look like babies they are not actually babies in the fic i am just cursed by baby drawing #also yes they are supposed to be surrounded by buildings with chimneys on three sides #'smokestacks like toadstools' i swear i tried but i just could not draw them in a way that looked good #the imagery is just so beautiful and perfect and i am but a wee little artist #read it for yourself (again even if you already have) to appreciate its beauty!! #tiny quiches should probably be out #and the candles he brought were not real fire candles but i just thought it looked like this #please roast me in the comments #did not have a good day and i feel like the only thing keeping me even close to sane #was adding finishing touches to this piece #so when you look at this know you are looking at a piece of my soul #you are seeing love and also sadness #calm and anxiety #isnt that kind of the crazy part about artwork? how it's not just snapshot of a Particular Thing #but also whatever the artist was thinking and feeling as they created it? #how you cant separate just what they wanted you to see from the pieces of themselves that are tied to every pixel? #idk man maybe i just need a hug and a cup of tea

[leota-nexus]

I just really need to share the Approximate Route of Entry so you can fully appreciate the NPCs' reactions here:

#she's the best driver in town! #trust her with your car today! #actually in my head she's a great driver AND mechanic #but sometimes she just can't resist stuntdriving you know how it is lmao #(actually this was fully me driving too fast losing control flying over rooftops & ending up here) #(i laughed so hard i had to take vp of it while my partner slow clapped & roasted me lmao) #oc: venus #cyberpunk 2077 #photomode #virtual photography #video game art #my v #oc #mtf v #genderfluid v #nomad v

[thresholdbb]

Yes, yes, coffee black, but what kind of coffee?

Arabica? Robusta?

Light? Medium? Dark roast?

Drip? Pour over? French press? Percolator?

Single origin? Blend?

Ethiopian? Brazilian? Colombian? Hawaiian? Kenyan? (Ad nauseam)

Paris Delight? Landras Blend? Paksor Blend? Firenut Blend? Even-better-than-coffee Substitute?

Fruity notes? Chocolate notes? Earthy notes? Warm notes? Bright notes?

Is it the ritual? The caffeine? The flavor? The comfort? The headache?

And why did she stop taking cream?

Since we know she has coffee opinions...

#captain janeway #you best believe I think this says something about her #she knows how to program a hot drink in the replicator #so she would be tweaking that coffee recipe to perfection #cause she doesn't have a coffee maker among the antiquities in her quarters #plus growing harvesting roasting coffee beans is resource intensive #my theory on the cream is she stopped for replicator rationing reasons #she cut everything down to bare essentials after caretaker #coffee? essential. cream? not so much #cause more complicated recipes might take more replicator energy and/or rations? #I realize coffee opinions were not nuanced in the 90s lol #mmm I need to go to sleep so I can wake up and make a coffee #I gotta tell you I'm so jazzed at the prospect voyager might be coming back it's most of what I can think about rn

[realsafari]

at this point you can only impress me, because i swear it is IMPOSSIBLE to underestimate you. the bar was ON THE GROUND, and you brought a fucking SHOVEL.

"no you"

I DONT FUCKING CARE. YOUR ROAST SOUNDS LIKE A COMPLIMENT. I LITERALLY EXPECTED NOTHING AND YET I AM STILL DISAPPOINTED.

YOU HAVE TWO DAMN BRAINCELLS, AND BOTH ARE FIGHTING FOR THIRD PLACE.

#safari is the best browser #safari posts #you know who you are. #sleep with one eye open. #i will find you. #lowkey proud of this roast idk where my inspo came from but <3 #anyways this is very directed at one person who I KNOW will see this #not just all of my followers #you guys are cool #except for this person #who knows me irl #so unless you know me irl this isnt you #even if you do this probably isnt you #trust me you will KNOW if its you

[why-the-heck-not]

24.08.22, wednesday

finally bought an espresso machine, and rn I’m caffeine overdosing trying to find out the right coffee bean grind setting and dose and all that (it’s some levels of rocket science actually)

#also realized it might just be the beans bc went straight to like very dark roast #should've gone with a medium tbh #but it smelled so goood so im going to make it work with these now first #bc i do like dark roast but after buying those I read that usually medium roast is best for espresso #but also it's all subjective #also im not sure if my coffee grinder's good enough for espresso but i'm not gonna buy a new one anytime soon so it'll have to do #and i am way too many double espressos in rn that I think my taste buds are gone forthe day #study #studyspo #studying #booklr #bookblr #books #dark academia #coffee #espresso #august 2022 #2022

[boxwinebaddie]

okay, i am quite literally Jennifer Slopez when i'm answering my ask responses and even Slower when i'm doing paras, so everyones just gonna have to put up with me spoon-feeding yall little hcs abt the divorce hurt/comfort para while i attempt to finish writing it.

but an-knee-wayz, there's a part in it where ravenstan finally gets kyle on the couch and is trying to dress and assess his wounds so naturally, he's like Okay Take Your Shirt Off...and jersey has the Audacity!!! to LAUGH at him!!! like hello?? so stans all annoyed like literally What?! and kyles like idk ur just Not Usually The One Making Demands ;) do you also want me to take my pants off while i'm at it? & ravenstan rolls his eyes like Ur So AnNoYinG Will You Please Just Do The Thing I Asked? & jerseykyle says sir yes sir ( LOOOL ) i will say stan do be oogling him but he's also stressed bc kyle is Fucked Up :(

siiiiiiigh, but you know, ravenstan is Patchin Him Up and jersey is just watching him bc for an adhd boy he is Very Focused, like studying kyle very intently, biting the inside of his cheek, pursing his lips, tilting his head to the right so he can get a closer look, trying to blow his bangs out of his eyes, swearing lightly under his breath bc he's distressed when hes not humming quietly while working.

and kyle is like omg he's so Cute :') <3 also jersey is extremely annoying in this para bc he misses stan to Death/hasn't seen him in Forever :( which is a very long time not to fluster your super best boyfriend, so kyle smirks up at him like Did Your Eyes Get Bluer, Red?

( he does call raven red to make fun of him for publicly roasting him at the cd show ) and stan looks up a bats his freaking eyelashes at him, leans in and kyle is like ohhhh my god did that actually fucking work?! is he gonna Kiss me and closes his eyes...it did NOT work btw! bc stan just jABS this cut on his cheek w/ a rubbing-alcohol soaked cotton ball and kyle is like OOOOWWW OH MY GOD!!! and stan is like Stop FUCKING Hitting On Me!!! LKHDSHDLS amazing...i'm crying.

like...you know when your super best boyfriend who you're basically married to breaks up with you because you can't tell him you love him, then you show up half dead on the doorstep of the apartment you used to happily share together & will not stop fucking Flirting! With! HIM! while hes trying to SAVE UR LIFE???

because jersey knows all about that!!!!

ANYWAYS UR WELCOME! Xx <3 :*

#laughin and cryin boys please undivorce challenge #uncle nina please finish writing anything challenge #failed #LIKE JERSEY TRYING TO HIT ON RAVEN #LIKE BEST FRIEND YOU ARE BEING SO DISTRACTIN #ravenstan would fight him BUT KYLE HAS DEFINETELY FOUGHT ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE #he is also my gentle pacifist king and while he would never hurt kyle ( except w the cotton swab smh ) he does not know how to fight #i love u reluctant angsty punk rock healer angel boy ravenstan w the red hair doing battlefield medicine on ur exsbf #WHO HE HAS LITERALLY HAD ENOUGH OF SMH #LIKE KYLE PLS QUIT IT!! HES NOT THAT STRONG HES GONNA CAVE SMH hes tryin v hard not to make eye contact #why is injured covered in blood and bruises kyles rizz like 8 million like chill out like that mans confidence is thru the roof #anyways stop hitting on raven jersey ( keep going do more ) #kyle being like oh my god hes gonna kiss me and closing his eyes n getting hardcore rejected is so fucking funny to me smh #like my man got absolutely Roasted and Toasted by raven #truly iconique...boys...i miss u...stop the violence

[quilleth]

Absolutely fascinated and amused by the names Spotify gives my daily playlists, which apparently change depending on the time of day even if you've had the same list paused since the morning lmao. This morning it was cabaret witchy Wednesday (which was actually just me hitting play on whatever it was from yesterday which was something about bards) and now it's calling it pining soppy Wednesday afternoon xD

#quilleth in real life #literally just plays a lot of the same songs but the name of the list changes and i am so entertained by it lmao #also i can feel wrapped roasting ne for listening to moody music on repeat again already #and like...LISTEN! those are my emotional support feels curated playlists and i am currently a starfish burdened with feels frequently #yes im going to keep hurting my feelings by adjusting vanora's playlists frequently. im coping ok XD #may/may not have added im not calling you a liar to one recently because of like 2 lines specifically #i am living my best life with this 75 song playlist! and the adjacent speciroc scenario/ vibes lists