#sorry for speaking like this is my magnum opus and everyone needs to look at it. I just dont know when I'll ever create smth like this agai | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thatbigbisexual29 · 10 months

Text

Revenge Is A Dish Best Served.... Spider (ATSV)

GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY IT IS FINISHED!!! MY MAGNUM OPUS!!!! So... hi everyone! I'm so sorry this fic took so long! I got caught up with life stuff and my writer's inspo kept leaving me when I needed it most ;-; But it's now done! So now I post it! Also its super fricken long sorry about that lols. ANyways, enjoy and eat up my lovlies! ^<^

There he was. Perfect timing. Perfect position. Perfect opportunity. Three spidermen stood and watched their older counterpart closely with crossed arms.

“He’s asleep.”

“He’s wide open.”

“He’ll kill us if we go through with this.”

The three teens, Miles, Pavitr, and Gwen, all took pause and thought for a moment. The one they were looking at was none other than Hobie Brown, asleep and outstretched on Miles’ parents sofa. It was an amusing sight. The teen was waaaaay too big for the couch. Hobie laid on his stomach with his arms outstretched over one arm of the couch, and his legs dangling over the other arm. And he had a small flock of spider-teens observing him with crossed arms.

The three had recently come across the fact that they had all been targeted and sentenced to tickling by the punk. They came to this realization as they were watching a movie and a tickle scene came on. They all shuddered at their recent memories from their own experiences (as well as the scene being especially rude) and they started talking. That leads us to now.

“Do we really need to get him back? I mean, I liked it when he tickled me, it was fun!” Pavitr admitted, earning a look from the other two spiders.

“That’s only because he didn’t punish you. We,” Gwen gestured to herself and Miles, “got punished. We want to get him back.”

“Yeah, just because you had a good time doesn’t mean we did. Revenge is in order,” Miles agreed. Pav smiled a bit and shook his head.

“You Americans and your ticklish bloodlust. You shouldn’t have pranked him in the first place!” he giggled as he earned more scowls from his friends. Then he stretched his arms and cracked his fingers. “But if you two are too scared to start, I know where he’s ticklish!”

Pavitr walked up confidently, constantly surprising Miles and Gwen with his boldness. Moving Hobie’s hair from his neckline, he found his nape and started gently scribbling. The reaction was immediate. Hobie hummed a laugh, then started mumbling out chuckles, shifting on the couch as Pav continued. His arms sleepily reached behind him and his hands waved around as if he was trying to catch Pav’s, but he had no such luck.

“Mmmhmhmhmhmhm… Kahaharl quihihihit…” the punk muttered through his soft giggles. Miles and Gwen looked on in awe but soon dawned evil smiles on their faces. Pavitr was about to speak until they all held their breaths. Hobie groaned in his sleep and turned over entirely, now lying on his back. He scratched at his stomach and smacked his lips, returning to his peaceful slumber. The three teens gave each other looks of confirmation.

“I’m getting his stomach.” Miles called.

“His legs are all mine.” Gwen purred.

“Well, someone has to hold his arms...” Pavitr sighed.

They all jumped onto the taller Spider-Man. Miles sat on his thighs, Gwen sat on his knees facing him, and Pavitr quickly thwipped Hobie’s wrists together and held down the web with his foot, keeping his hands free. Hobie instantly woke up with a snort, looking around all dazed and confused.

“H-Huh? Whas happnin’? ‘S goin’ on?” he asked. He pulled at his wrists and started to panic as he realized the situation he was in. He pulled more as he saw Miles sitting above him with crossed arms and a smirk.

“Mornin’ Hobs. Had a nice nap?” Brooklyn’s Spider-Man asked. Hobie looked straight up and saw Pav who waved. He looked around Miles to see Gwen who nodded her head towards him. Hobie simply sighed and deflated where he laid, ragdolling his head on the arm of the couch.

“Whas dis den? You lot tryna get me back, is that it?” he said.

“Yep,” Gwen said.

“Nailed it right on the head,” Miles agreed.

“I mean, not really but this seems like fun,” Pavitr chided. Hobie took one more assessment of his situation before shrugging.

“Fine,” he sighed. “If it keeps you busy.”

The three spider kids were slightly taken aback by his willingness, but they shook it off nonetheless.

“Pav, you wanna start first?” Miles asked. Pavitr tapped his chin as if he was thinking about it.

“Hmm… let me think…” As he started to ponder, he took his free hand and softly scribbled his fingers up and down Hobie’s bicep, getting so close to his armpit but stopping just a hair short to continue upwards.

Hobie jumped at the contact and bit his lip, fighting back snickers while saying, “Oho fuck ohoff Pav.”

“I mean, I really should go first, shouldn’t I?” India’s Spider-Man spoke as he touched his other hand down on Hobie’s bicep, now scribbling up and down both his arms while speaking. “I am the one he got first. Even though I liked it, you can’t just tickle someone and not expect to be tickled back, right? Oh but if I do, he might get me back worse! What to do, what to do! Maybe I should just stay here, teasing him, almost going to his armpits but not quite yet~”

Meanwhile, Hobie was currently suffering under the torturous teasing he was being subjected to. Miles smiled and watched as his usually concealed friend lose his mind at a few simple scratches.

“Come on, Hobs!” Pav continued, now scratching right above his armpits. “I know how ticklish you are! Why hide it? I can feel you’re gonna break~ Aaaaaaaaaany second now~ Maybe I should go lower? Maybe I should tickle your armpits? Would that make you laugh? Hm?~”

“Ffffffffffuhuhucker- Pahav- Imma k-kihihill you!” Hobie growled through his giggles. He used all the movement he could to cover his eyes with his elbows. His smile was bigger than ever and he was constantly moving and shaking his torso.

“Looks like Hobie’s quite the dancer! Wiggle wiggle Hobs~” Miles cooed. Gwen just sat back and pulled out her phone, recording this moment. I’m so sending this to Peter, she thought with an evil smirk.

“What do you guys think? Should I go for the kill?” Pav asked as he hovered his hands over his friend’s armpits. Hobie’s eyes widened and he gasped, holding his breath. He let out hesitational giggles as Pav’s fingers wriggled above their target area. Even Miles felt shivers up his spine.

“Oh hell yes you should! Why don’t I help out?~” Miles brought his own wiggly fingers to hover above Hobie’s ribs. The taller teen grunted and covered his eyes again.

“Y-You fuckheads! Teasin’s not fair! Bofa yous as dead as doornails, ‘ear me??” The Spider-Punk said in a panicked voice. Miles and Pav looked at each other and nodded. At the same time they mouthed ‘1…2…3!’

Then, they attacked! Both Miles and Pav touched down onto Hobie’s torso and began their assault. Pavitr wickedly scratched and clawed Hobie’s armpits while Miles dug his fingers between the spaces of his ribs. Hobie, meanwhile, barked out a laugh and jerked hard. He nearly sent Gwen flying! She was lucky that he was barely using his spider strength, so instead she got shoved into Miles’ back.

“Oof! Hehey, watch it Hobs! You tryna kill me here?” the Spider-Woman retorted. Hobie was too busy laughing his ass off to make up a witty response.

“BAHhahahahahahahahaha! F-Fuck sake- gyahahahahaha! Gehehehehet outta thehehehehehere! Shhhhihihihihihits! You shihihihitbags! Fffr- grrr- pfffhahahahahahaha!” Hobie was a completely new person. The only people who’ve seen this ticklish side of him were Karl and Pav, but he’s never been tickled by them at the same time. But did having Miles and Pav tickle him simultaneously make it any less fun? No. No it did not. This was the most fun he’s had in his life!

“I told you guys he’s ticklish! Oh, oh! What’s that thing you sing to Karl when you tickle him? It goes like “I’m gonna tickle tickle tickle you until you dieeeeeeee~” right? Am I right?” Pav asked, constantly stirring the pot and switching up his technique. He went from digging and vibrating to scratching and scribbling, then to poking and prodding. Miles laughed a bit.

“You seriously sing that?” he asked.

“Yes, he does. I have videos for proof,” Gwen said from her spot behind Miles (she fixed her position to where she was sitting on Hobie’s shins).

“Ooh, you should show him the video you took of Karl and Hobie on Karl’s birthday! Now that was brutal!” Pav said, harboring another bark of laughter from the punk below him as he jammed his fingers into the center of his hollows.

“J-Jehehehehehehehesus Christ! Stahahahahahahahap tahahahahalkin’!” Hobie ordered, but his words failed to carry any authority. Miles just smirked and vibrated his fingers faster and he felt deeply satisfied when the punk jerked forward.

“Guys, I don’t think I can believe what I’m hearing. Is he actually trying to order us around right now?” Miles raised an eyebrow and looked to Gwen and Pav.

“Completely unbelievable,” Pav agreed.

“Especially coming from the guy who ‘doesn’t follow orders.’ What do you have to say for yourself, Hobs?” Gwen asked. Hobie could only flop back and forth while spewing giggles and laughs from his mouth, shaking his head so much so one would think you asked him if he liked the government. The three teens just laughed with him. Then, Hobie said something unexpected.

“Breheheheheheak!” he laughed out. “Breheheheheheak break break! I cahahahahahahan’t!”

Without a second thought, Miles and Pavitr raised their hands and halted their tickling. Hobie’s body instantly relaxed, giggling and sighing as he caught his breath. Gwen was up in a flash and making a beeline for the kitchen. Pavitr rubbed Hobie’s pits to rub the ghost tickles away, being careful he wasn’t tickling the older spider. Miles patted Hobie’s side in an attempt to calm him.

“You alright, Hobie? Is it too much? Should we stop??” Brooklyn’s Spider-Man questioned, looking from Hobie to Pavitr for confirmation. Pav just smiled back at him.

“No need to panic, Spidey,” he explained, “It’s normal for someone to get worked up in a situation like this. He just needs some water and a breather, then we’re free to get back to it! Right Hobs?”

Hobie responded with a nod, now just panting. Gwen returned with a cup of water and offered it to Hobie’s lips. The punk shimmied up so he could drink more comfortably. And drink he did. He barely left a drop in the cup before laying back down. Then, he chuckled.

“You two are right fuckin’ evil, man. Downright awful, it was. Shihihit,” he chuckled.

“Well just you wait! Cause Miles is really about to knock your socks off~” Gwen cooed, pinching Hobie’s cheek like a grandma would. Hobie, feeling playful, bit at her fingers. Gwen squeaked out in surprise and shot her hand back to her side.

“Hey!” she fussed. Hobie just grinned with mischief. Gwen just rolled her eyes with a smile, shook her head, and traveled back to the kitchen with cup in hand.

“Now that wasn’t very nice, Hobie!” Miles said.

“Oh yeah? Whatcha gon’ do bout it, Miles? Hm? Gon’ punish me? Treat me like a bad boy, huh? I reckon you won’t, ya too much of a coward~” Hobie taunted, shimmying his chest at Miles. Brooklyn’s Spider-Man was immediately taken back, sending a confused look at Pavitr. Pav simply laughed.

“This trick again, Hobie?” Pav asked as he looked down at his friend, giggling when Hobie waggled his eyebrows at him. “This is a method he tries to mess with anyone who’s tickling him. But it never works. Just go ahead, he loves this stuff!”

Miles simply looked at Hobie and smiled. Hobie sighed and shrugged.

“Wurf a shot, roight?” he said. Miles grabbed the hem of Hobie’s shirt and pulled up, finding a pleasant surprise.

“No way!” he exclaimed.

“What is it?” Pavitr poked his head up.

“Did you find an embarrassing birthmark? A third nipple??” Gwen said, running back from the kitchen, all too excited to find something humiliating to tease Hobie for.

“No, look!” Miles pointed his finger to his stomach where it harbored a black and silver belly button piercing with an upside down cross. The three gawked as they looked at it, giving the punk a longer break.

“Holy crap you have a belly piercing??” Pavitr asked, bewildered.

“You should see what else I have pierced~” Hobie said with a wink to his friends.

There were three seconds of silence before Pavitr barked out, “YOU PIERCED YOUR PENIS?!?”

Everyone burst out into hysterical laughter at Pav’s declaration. Miles deflated onto Hobie’s chest, Gwen slumped against the back of the couch, and Hobie just cackled as if they started tickling him again.

“No Pahav, mah nips! I pierced mah nipples, ya goon! I’m fuckin’ out mah mind, not crazy! Pahahaha!” Hobie said, giggling out of his mind.

“Oh my god, I wish I had that recorded!” Gwen cried out through her laughter. Miles just held his head on Hobie’s chest and snickered hysterically. Pavitr blushed from embarrassment but started laughing too. And Hobie was a mess. He was giggling so much that he started to let out tiny snorts. Miles shot up when he heard them.

“You snort when you laugh!” Brooklyn’s Spider-Man accused, pointing a finger right in the punk’s face. “Why did you rip on me when you snort too? You’re such a hypocrite!”

Hobie just giggled and said, “Cause it’s cuter when you do it! ‘S adorable, mate, ‘ow can I not tease ya?”

“Oh, you’re getting it now!” Miles declared, raising his two hands and forming them into claws. “Any last words?~”

“Sleep with one eye open- yeEEAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” Hobie taunted then screamed as Miles dug into his stomach. He used the same method he used on his ribs, only this time, he used tiny sparks of his venom to add more to its kick. Hobie jerked up hard, nearly sending Miles flying, but the teen just laughed and held on tighter.

“Haha! Oh man, regret teasing me yet? Or do you need more persuasion?” Miles asked as he kneaded and zapped Hobie’s toned stomach. Hobie just barked out loud laughter as he swung around, thrashing like a rodeo bull. Pav looked shocked but was laughing with them as Gwen started recording again.

“FAHAHAHAHAHAHAHACK MIHIHIHIHIHIHILES!! CH-CHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEAT!! YOU CHEHEHEHEHEHEAT!! NOHOHOHOHO VEHEHEHEHEHENOM!! MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAILES!!!” Hobie threw his head back and cackled like a madman.

“Holy crap! You’re ruthless Miles! That’s his worst spot!” Pavitr said. It was unaware if he was warning Miles or encouraging him.

Either way, Hobie genuinely looked like he was having fun. His smile was wide and unapologetic, his eyes closed as his nose scrunched tight. It was a beautiful sight and such a 180 from his normal personality. Miles was going to ask for every single video and picture Gwen was taking at that very moment. And every other video or picture where Hobie’s getting tickled.

“You think this is ruthless?” Miles asked, removing his hands to give Hobie a very short lived break. “Let me show you what my Uncle Aaron taught my dad when I was a kid.”

“You… you still are a kid… bitch…” Hobie panted out. Now his fate was sealed. Miles furrowed his brows and smiled. Without any warning, Miles rapidly squeezed his hands against Hobie’s sides and inhaled deeply before blowing a massive raspberry on the punk’s stomach. Hobie fucking lost it. He arched up high and his laughter went silent. Then, it roared out of him as if he was the offspring of a lion and hyena.

“MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAILES!!!! SHIHIHIHIHIHIHI- FAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! NOHOT AGAIN! NOT AGAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAIN!!! YOUHUHU FUCKIN PEHEHEHEHEHEST!! AHAHAHAHAHA SHIT!! OK!! OKOKOK AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!! I TAHAHAHAHAKE IT BAHAHAHAHAHAHACK!!” Miles sat back and laughed a bit, enjoying how easily he picked apart his friend.

“Come on, punk rocker! Can’t handle a few wittle tickews? You’re lucky I’m not shocking you! Or going after your piercing~ Man, how hellish would that be?” Brooklyn’s Spider-Man taunted. Hobie was ballistic. Pav noticed this and was about to warn Miles to stop when his spider sense went off. He looked up to the front door and saw the doorknob turning and heard the sound of jingling keys.

“Miles, stop! Your parents are home!” Pavitr said, quickly fishing Hobie’s pocket knife from the punk’s discarded jacket. Miles looked up and towards the hall. He sprang off Hobie as Gwen casually went to get another cup of water. Pavitr cut the webs and Miles helped calm Hobie down just as Rio Morales walked in.

“Miles? Everything alright? It sounded like someone was dying in here,” she said, hanging up her purse and walking into the living room. What she found was quite the wholesome sight. The tv was on as Miles and Pav sat with Hobie on the couch, laughing at some sitcom that was playing. Gwen came from the kitchen and smiled to Rio.

“Sorry, Rio- I mean, Mrs. Morales. The show we were watching is just super funny! I was about to make us some popcorn, want a bag?” the blonde spider-woman somewhat lied, distracting the woman. Meanwhile, Hobie was leaning back on the couch and hugging his torso, still recovering from the harsh tickles he received. Miles immediately felt guilty.

“Hey man, you alright? I went too far, didn’t I?” he asked, looking at Hobie with a worried glance. Hobie just chuckled, and as if he had regained all of his strength just then, he swooped an arm around Miles’ neck and dug his knuckles into his head, giving him a noogie.

“Ah, you little bugga! Who knew you were such a meanie? Yeah, I’s jus ‘bout to tap out. But you good mahn! Was super fun. You’ll still have to watch your back~�� Hobie cooed that last part into his ear as he squeezed his ribs, making Miles bark out a laugh.

The teens went on with their night, Gwen declaring that one day she’d get her own personal revenge on Hobie (even though they argued that the pictures and photos she took were her revenge). They found a movie and nuzzled into a large cuddle pile, falling asleep in the blankets and pillows, all of them leaning on Hobie.

And the last thing Hobie thought before he faded into sleep was, God my friends are the best.

#why did this fic take so LONG?!?!#but its done so now I can get back to work!#across the spiderverse #hobie brown #spider punk #spiderverse #pavitr prabhakar #spiderman #miles morales #gwen stacy #tickle fic #atsv tickle #spiderverse tickle #tickle

298 notes · View notes

kleyamarki · 1 month

Text

HI so i wrote the implied meeting between salman paak and kleya. it's part of my magnum opus eat your young andor concept fic. this is ultimately going to be bix-centered, focused on "throw enough rope till the legs have swung" (pretty on the nose for ya, sorry paak)

anyway, it's below the cut. maybe let me know what you think? idk i'm bored.

The man has Ferrix written all over him. It’s in the way he leaves the seats in the room for those much older and those much younger, the way he genuinely listens to everyone in the room, and the mechanic’s oil he’s tried to wash out of the jacket he wears. Kleya selects him as her mark out of the packed room. A speaker drones on about the injustices the Empire has rought, and Kleya nods along – she agrees, obviously. But speaking to a room of people will ultimately do nothing. It’s her job to pick out people she believes will be willing to take an extra step. She has hope for the man who would come all the way from Ferrix.

[ok itty bitty time skip (because i’m impatient with my writing brain and want to share this anyway), like a matter of a few minutes, think rebel meeting but more like a lecture. kleya looks like she should be part of it, like she could be one of the leaders of this little group, even. but she stands on the outskirts of the room, like she’s the lowest rung of the leader totem pole. in reality she’s not one of them, but she’s there to see if she can get anyone for her & luthen’s purposes. she also introduces herself to paak. obviously with a different name and all that. okay onto the rest]

“You know,” Kleya says over a cup of caf, “If you’re serious about this, you could be our liaison on your homeworld.” She uses ‘our’ lightly in terms of the current surroundings. She hopes he doesn’t notice the leaders of the group aren’t fraternizing with the attendees. Her network needs this. The Separatists here might too, but there’s a reason she’s handpicked him specifically. They don’t need to know that.

Paak lets a huff of air out of his nose, a laugh, maybe, “Ferrix? They’d rather take the Empire’s money and ignore them.” Kleya’s brow furrows as the words leave his mouth. “They have each other, they can ignore the rest.”

“But you’re here.”

“But I’m here,” he sighs.

Kleya spies her opening. “I can offer more money for the Imperial toys you trade already.”

“You don’t want some uprising?” Paak raises an eyebrow, silently saying what Kleya wants him to realize – you’re not the same as them, the Separatists she’s playing. Maybe he even thinks their arrangement would be less dangerous than an overt uprising. She hopes, for his sake, he doesn’t have to learn the truth of the matter.

“We know the game you salvagers play,” Kleya says, revealing just enough to reel him in. “And we could put it to better use. A use you’d probably like more, anyway, considering you’re here.” She sips her caf, looks back at the room.

Paak is silent for a moment longer than Kleya would like. He sips his caf too, thinking. She interjects, “You’d get a radio, signal when you have something for my buyer. We’ll catch it, he’ll pay a visit. All fairly simple, if you can get your hands on equipment we need at the right time.”

At that, Paak nods. Although he still looks the slightest bit uneasy, Kleya knows she’s got him. “As long as the radio’s alive, you’ll get a stipend too.” She debates for a split second what she’ll say next, but goes ahead anyway, “All the better for your family, right?”

Paak raises an eyebrow, but there’s something in his eye that says he’s in for the guarantee of a regular income stream. “You said liaison,” he says, finally, “Could I bring someone in, put them in contact with your buyer?”

Kleya doesn’t want to say yes, but they need Ferrix. “Sure, you’re the one on the ground.” A half-truth. He doesn’t need to know that.

Paak nods, “You have a deal.”

Kleya suppresses a smile. She can still be happy about the small successes. “We’ll send you the radio in the next few weeks. Signal, and the buyer will come.”

#i literally hold my breath writing kleya and had to take multiple breaks writing this #i love it maybe you will too or maybe you'll hate it but fuck it #i do this for me and you are my hostage audience (she says putting it below a cut)#kleya marki #andor fic

12 notes · View notes

seal-writes-stuff · 1 year

Note

oh my god i'm drunk with power slamming this ask button again & again -- Seal does Dani do anything to celebrate Halloween? the very thought of her in a cute dorky costume or chickening out of a haunted house/horror movie bc it's too stressful is making me COMBUST. please share your valuable insight, tsym (:

Spooky Season

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: F!Reader, some suggestive stuff (nothing explicit but still), otherwise pure fluff

Summary: Glimpses of the Halloween celebration you and Dani have together.

A/N: Ask and you shall receive >:) Happy belated Halloween, guys! I couldn’t choose between a fic and a list of headcanons for this one, so I’ve decided to try something new and kinda did a blend of both. Hope you enjoy!

“Hey, quit squirming!” you throw your hands in the air, pretending to be exasperated, as Dani struggles not to laugh. “You’re running my hard work. I simply cannot continue in such dire conditions.”

“Dire? Seriously?”

“Well, not that dire,” you wiggle your eyebrows. “But, y’know. I could use some cooperation.”

“Can you blame me, though? It’s been half an hour…”

“You can’t rush art, miss Ardor. Now sit tight or it’ll be, like, ten more hours and that’s a promise.”

She huffs, pretending to be annoyed, but you know she doesn’t mean it. You can’t imagine Dani ever being seriously angry at you, especially without talking it out.

A few silent minutes pass as you keep drawing shiny scales on her cheekbones. Some face paint here, some glitter there – everything to create a perfect make-up for a mermaid costume. You’ve designed a whole thing yourself too, in just a couple of hours.

Dani’s very inspiring, what can you say.

“Thank you, by the way,” you look up, only to be met with her gentle gaze, shining with bashful adoration. “For this. I know it's silly, but-”

“You make it sound like a favor,” you murmur under your breath, returning to you work. “And not like a blessing it is. So… Can’t take it, sorry.”

“Oh,” Dani’s voice cracks. She blinks a few times. “That’s- That’s really beautiful.”

“That’s just how it is,” you move away, giving Dani’s face a one last look-over. “Speaking of beautiful! Not to brag or anything, but I think this is my magnum opus. If you dragged me to the bottom of the sea, I’d just thank you.”

“That’s a siren, not a mermaid.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not an expert in, uh, mermology,” you revel in a small giggle she gives you. “Then what? You’ve sold your voice to the sea witch to see the human world?”

“Yeah, right. To see a very…” Dani looks away, blush still obvious despite all the makeup. “Um, special part of it.”

Now it’s your turn get flustered. You stare at her lips; a glance not stolen, but gifted freely.

“Well then. Better give you a true love’s kiss really quick.”

“What about ruining your hard work?”

“Eh, who cares? There’s always more glitter.”

***

“Is it over?” Dani peeks at the screen, only to immediately hide her face in the crook of your neck again.

“It didn’t even start! That’s literally just two people talking.”

“Yeah, for now!”

“Oh, come on,” pausing the horror movie the two of you are watching, you let out a soft laugh. You’re not even looking at the screen anymore and you don’t need to– you know how it goes. You’ve seen it way more times than you’d like to admit; it’s cheesy and the special effects didn’t age all that well, but it’s still dear to your heart. Also, it’s not scary at all.

Well, not for everyone, apparently.

“You know,” you whisper in Dani’s ear, feeling her shiver at the proximity of your warm breath. “If you just wanted to cuddle, could’ve just said so.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Oh, so you didn’t want to cuddle?”

“No, I- That’s not- Ah!” she hides her face in her hands with a groan. You don’t reply, opting for a kiss on a cheek instead. “You’re so annoying, I swear.”

“And yet here we are,” you murmur, earning a content sigh from Dani. “I love you so much, y’know? Don’t you forget.”

“Don’t think I can.”

An image of a rubbery-looking monster peeking from the shadows lingers on the TV screen for hours, forgotten.

***

“Alright, so trick or treat?”

Dani rolls her eyes, attempting to grab the bowl of leftover candy you’re holding, but you’re quick enough to pull it away. It’s dark outside; the kitchen is illuminated with all the candles you’ve managed to find around the house, the soft orange glow outlining cardboard bats and plastic skeletons. You were aiming for “scary” when you’ve set the decorations up. Still, “romantic” fits better anyway, love shining through the playful horror.

Honestly, you can’t complain.

“Pretty sure that’s not how it works.”

“It is now!” you put the bowl in one hand, placing the other on her forearm. “Come on, baby, humor me for a minute. Trick or treat?”

“Alright, alright, uh…trick? I’m scared already.”

“That’s the point of the holi- Hey, not so fast!” you cut your girlfriend’s another attempt to steal candy from you short, grinning. “Tell me. What did a skeleton say to her girlfriend after a date?”

“Can’t even imagine. Wait, don’t you dare say ‘let’s bo-”

“Let’s bone.”

“Oh my God,” Dani buries her head in her hands as you cackle triumphantly. “This is awful. Get out.”

“You’ve chosen it, not me!” reaching into the bowl, you pull out a Twix and hand it to her. “Here. A whole bar, you deserve it.”

“Thank you.”

Without another word, Dani grabs the candy from you and unwraps it, handing you one of the sticks. You put the bowl down; for a moment, the both of you are too busy with your sweets to talk, but you can tell there’s something on her mind. That little frown of hers, made all more adorable by the fact that she has no idea about it.

“Okay, no- I’m curious now,” Dani brushes the crumbs off her mouth with a quick gesture. “What would be a treat?”

“Want a trick and a treat?” you move closer, your voice dropping to a sultry whisper. “Your wish is my command. What did I say to my girlfriend after this date?”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Worked so far.”

Dani doesn’t answer. Instead, she leans in and you comply happily, drowning in her soft embrace. Sweeter than any candy, warmer than any candle.

“Y/N, it’s…” Dani whispers, pressing her forehead to yours. “It’s really nice.”

“What is?”

“This. You,” she kisses you, smiling against your lips. “I mean, it’s so- Can we do this next year? Please. I’d really love that.”

“I think that’s how that ‘holiday’ thing wo- Ow!” with a giggle, you steal another kiss, closing your eyes in pure joy. “Of course we can. Happy Halloween, baby.”

#dani ardor #dani ardor x reader #dani ardor imagine #florence pugh x reader #florence pugh imagine #midsommar #seal writes

56 notes · View notes

codenamesazanka · 5 years

Text

Here’s what I think went down:

All For One invaded the Shimura household, held captive everyone there. He singled out Tenko, and started whatever thing he did to condition into Tenko the wrathful instinct Shigaraki gets with the hands, a la Pavlov.

This involves torture - most likely making Tenko participate, as well as something happening that caused the injuries to Tenko’s eye and lips. It also killed everyone, but preserved the hands. He reinforced, besides traumatic fear, aggression and anger, knowing that it would be there later and he can redirect it.

Eventually, All For One cleaned up, scattered Tenko’s memories, and had him run away, confused and unable to remember or explain to anyone what happened even if he did get someone to stop and try to help.

(Long post!! I thought about putting it under a spoiler but I feel like this is my magnum opus of meta and creating a theory, so sorry! You gotta scroll through! Please! I hope you read and find it convincing!)

Everyone is pretty much theorizing that All For One was the cause of the Shimura household demise, because what are the chances AFO was able to come across a dead family with hands all intact, a traumatized and very impressionable 4-year-old with a extremely destructive quirk, and is the grandson of his previous hated enemy and essentially the nephew (come on, All Might thought of Nana as a mother, he would’ve loved all her family like his family) of his current hated enemy?

All For One was there. The question is, what happened and what did he do?

I realized in a previous post that Shigaraki’s reactions to the hands reads very much like a conditioned response a la Pavlov’s experiments. Little Tenko first sees the hands and immediately has a strong psychosomatic reaction, as well as an unexplainable, powerful sense of anger. Ever since then, whenever he wears the hands, he still feels that rage.

Maybe a bit far-fetched - AFO using an elaborate psych experiment? But AFO has shown that he’s willing to go the distance and create meticulous plans years in advanced, and he’s a master at psychological manipulation.

And two things:

the flashback of the corgi, which yes, serves as an even more heartbreaking piece of Tenko’s memories, but also, Pavlov’s experiments is famously known for his use of dogs. The corgi is symbolic and a hint.

@sweetened-apples noted that Gigantomachia seems to have been conditioned to calm down and respond to AFO’s voice.

There’s that extremely visible ‘click’ sound, also a known and commonly used conditioned stimuli, and without seeing the scene, the Doctor knows immediately Gigantomachia must have calmed down.

This is what convinces me greatly that AFO did something to conditioned Shigaraki, using the hands as the trigger.

The ask from a wonderful, wonderful anonymous contributor (thank you!!) helped me piece more of the scene together.

In chapter 88 and 222, Shiga's shirt is dark, and his pants are light. In chapter 69, they're both light. Why is this? If he ran away after killing 'Father' which happened in that chapter...

[...]

there’s a bunch of blood running down his arms and on the floor, pooling around the hand. [...] Exactly how much blood did he get covered in? How, why, no one noticed and now its gone? No stains, nothing? Also, for the anon and what you said, your right. Blame whoever attacked him for the injury to his lips, there was blood there in the flashback. Could it’d have been the weapon?

Chapter 69: As anon noted, the shirt and pants are both light-colored. Also, the shirt is bloodstained, blood is dripping down from above, also likely staining the pants as well.

Chapter 88 and 91:

And that’s consistent in Chapter 222:

It’s implied in the same chapter that after what happened to his family, Tenko had ran away, looking for help - he did so right afterwards. If so, how is he so spotless, after being covered in blood? Plus - why would he make sure to change his clothing, if he was in such a rush?

From my other post, regarding the scene in Chapter 69, let me restate:

We thought this hand was the ‘father’ hand, but it’s not. The hand Shigaraki wears on his face is a left hand. This is a right hand. It’s so carefully intact. Shigaraki is covered in blood, the blood coming solely from above him, ruining his shirt but not his pants, not even fully covering his hands. You would think a chaotic situation would mean a mess, everywhere. Tripping and slipping, knees and hands in a puddle of blood. But Tenko is not.

Finally, this scene:

There’s what looks to be a bloodied weapon of some sort, and the shadowed, crazed fearful look of an adult. We assume it’s Tenko’s father (also Nana’s son).

Then we see that Tenko is found with his eyes and lips wounded.

I think yes, that weapon was used to hurt Tenko, and I think the one who did so is that man in the right part of the image. But why would he hurt Tenko? Why would he look like that?

Well, where have we see a similar look?

The story of Rei Todoroki is also a tragic one, where, during a mental break, she injured her son, Shouto Todoroki.

I think, maybe, AFO had did something to Tenko’s father, making him hurt Tenko. Caused a mental break, forced him to attack his son? Forced Tenko to kill his father in self-defense? The oneshot Tenko had the titular character’s father also attempt to kill his son, and though it’s not the same motivation or context at all, I feel there’s a good chance of a parallel.

And isn’t that just as sadistic as AFO is? Having Nana’s beloved son attack Tenko, as well as forcing Tenko to retaliate to protect himself, thereby killing his father? We already know AFO has a habit of putting Shigaraki into life or death trials to prove his worth.

Speaking of the oneshot Tenko, the character in that was also filled with rage, starting when he had to watch his father kill his mother.

It’s a very natural reaction. You watch someone kill someone you love, and you gain intense hatred, aggression, and anger toward them.

Here’s another interesting thing to note: In the oneshot Tenko, Tenko’s mother had taught him to redirect his rage. She told him, that his power isn’t one to used for killing, that he should think of other ways. This leads to Tenko redirecting his anger at samurai and swords, vowing to destroy all of it to rid the world of war.

Looking back at Chapter 88, during the raid scene, during Shigaraki’s first flashback of AFO finding him, I always found it just a little strange that his internal state went how it went. Shock, then fear at being defeated, then a flashback to what seems to be a melancholy but hopeful, touching, scene of AFO rescuing him, then climaxing in anger.

I’ve tried out several analysis of that scene - that being bound and on the verge of arrest made him feel helpless, like he had did as a child; Gran Torino asking about his Master made him wish for his Master to come save him again, like that time; them trying to get to AFO, who saved him, made him angry that they would try to hurt his Master; anger that the heroes, who wasn’t there for him when he needed them to be, was suddenly here to be his ruin? But most of all, why ‘I hate you’? I mean, yes, all those feelings are wild, negative, and the raid is a high-adrenaline fueled moment where reason isn’t big on the mind, but.

For what was supposed to be a bittersweet memory of someone coming to his rescue, Shigaraki has instead associate it and filled it with a hellish wrathful.

I think, after what AFO did to his family, after creating the hands, Tenko rightfully had nothing but fury, had wanted to kill AFO. Maybe it was so much so that AFO would later call it a ‘innate warpness’. Like AFO wanted to induced - just can’t have it be directed at AFO! So he messed with Tenko’s memory, made him forget exactly what went down, but Tenko would always associate that fury with the hands.

Finally, finally, with Tenko confused and pretty much amnesiac, AFO had the child clean up. Wash away all the blood, put on a different clean set of clothing, hence the reason for the different outfits in the flashbacks. A blood-covered child would get everyone’s attention, would immediately bring police and Heroes onto the scene.

But a well-dressed child, with what seems to be only slight cuts on his face, scatter-minded and unable to tell anyone what had happened because he can’t remember? A lot more benefit of doubt.

So yeah. This is my theoretical outline of what went down.

#nalslastworkingbraincell #shigaraki #shigaraki tomura #tenko shimura #shimura tenko #Chapter 222 #meta #theory #mha #bnha #heroaca #so so so sorry for the long post #but yeah

252 notes · View notes

sage-nebula · 5 years

Text

@em-exceeds-change-zearu --- Hope you don’t mind, but I wanted to respond to your tags in a new post since the original post was long enough as it was, haha!

#also i love all of these picks and the thought that went into them #and that he has a varied team that's flexible and can take on tons of things #ALSO I'M GLAD YOU DIDN'T MENTION ZEKROM #I WAS DREADING A RED EYES BLACK DRAGON REDUX WITH ZEKROM #(even if zekrom and reshiram are huge walking red eyes and blue eyes jokes)

See, it’s because I put a lot of thought into it that I didn’t mention Zekrom! Zekrom doesn’t work for the Red-Eyes Black Dragon at all (and ditto for Reshiram with the Blue-Eyes White Dragon)!

From a visual standpoint, I get why the comparisons were made. Zekrom is a black dragon with red eyes, and Reshiram is a white dragon with blue eyes. But that’s where the similarities end. While monsters in YGO have only very loose elemental associations, the fact still remains that the Red-Eyes Black Dragon is a fire dragon, while the Blue-Eyes White Dragon is an electric dragon. We see this in their attacks. The Red-Eyes Black Dragon’s attack is Black Fire Bullet (JP) / Inferno Fire Blast (EN), while the Blue-Eyes White Dragon’s attack is Burst Stream of Destruction (JP) / White Lightning (EN). “Burst Stream of Destruction” isn’t specifically electric, but it isn’t fire, either, and the look of it certainly looks electrical whenever it attacks (which is likely what led to 4Kids naming the attack what they did). Either way, these attacks make it clear in both the manga (JP) and the anime (EN) that Red-Eyes is a fire dragon while Blue-Eyes is an electric dragon.

But with Zekrom and Reshiram, that’s reversed. Zekrom is Electric/Dragon, while Reshiram is Fire/Dragon. Their types do not match up with the YGO dragons at all. And while some might say that’s a minor quibble, it really isn’t. Jounouchi is pretty heavily associated with fire, even setting Red-Eyes aside. Just off the top of my head:

The yo-yo he was pictured with in the cover art for chapters 48/49 was a “Fireboy” yo-yo;

He defeated Chopperman by setting him on fire with the candle + oil combo;

One of his most memorable cards is Flame Swordsman (though him saying it was his favorite card was an anime invention, but nonetheless);

He stayed behind with Yuugi during the fire at the Black Crown and made it out with only minor injuries;

When he got to name an attack during his duel with Malik, he named it “Jounouchi Fire”;

The God card he’s most heavily associated with is Ra, and Ra is the one that uses flames to attack (versus Osiris’ wind and Obelisk’s lightning);

Speaking of, he survived Ra’s flames at first brush (he died a few minutes later, true, but even that was only temporary)

Jounouchi is pretty heavily associated with a fire motif, and so it makes sense that his signature dragon would be a fire dragon, rather than an electric one. And likewise, Kaiba seems to be associated with lightning and electricity far more than he is with fire. Kaiba is all about technological advancement, is always surrounded by computers, robots, and the latest technology that he himself invented. The God card that he’s associated with, Obelisk, is one that has lightning spark around its fists when it attacks. It makes sense that his dragon is an electric one, rather than a fire one. Switching that around by associating Jounouchi with Zekrom and Kaiba with Reshiram is a huge mistake. It doesn’t fit at all.

Moreover, the thing about legendary pokémon is that most of them come with a stronger meaning associated with them. They’re cool looking and have types, yes, but each of them also usually symbolize something, or have something they watch over, protect, or stand for. For Zekrom, that’s ideals (and fighting for one’s ideals), and with Reshiram, that’s truth (and fighting for the truth). While Jounouchi can be an idealistic person, what Zekrom actually looks for in its champion is someone who wants to push their ideals onto others, to lead the world with them, and that’s not Jounouchi. Jounouchi doesn’t want to push his ideals onto others; he lives his own way and that’s that. Likewise, Kaiba’s not really concerned with the truth outside of how it benefits him, and he’s not opposed to flat out ignoring or denying it when it doesn’t, so I don’t think Reshiram would choose him as a champion either, haha.

So yeah, I saw no reason to bring up Zekrom. The Red-Eyes Black Dragon is represented by shiny charizard, and that’s that.

#i also didn't consider sivally/silvuddy at all!!! #but considering that it's literally named...silver buddy... #(gladion you fucking nerd) #it's perfect #the nickanme is perfect #he would approve #maybe silvuddy is something he gets in duelist kingdom? #like. in pegasus' basement or something #but this is pokemon world and you mentioned gladion existing in this crossover canon so HMM. MMM. #I'M STUCK ON HOW HE GETS IT TOO

I did imagine this as taking place in the Pokémon World, yeah, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t adapt Duelist Kingdom as well. All we have to do is make it pokémon battles instead of Duel Monsters duels. So Pegasus owns an island with a castle, and he decides to host his own battle tournament on his island (that takes place over a more reasonable span of time than just two days). Maybe entrants have to collect star badges instead of star chips, or maybe it is star chips if badges would get him in trouble with the local League. In any case, he has his own unofficial, not-government-sanctioned tournament, and it’s very much like Duelist Kingdom except everyone has real monsters and therefore people like Mai and Bandit Keith have a much harder time cheating than they did in the actual canon.

(Well, Gladion doesn’t have to exist in the crossover canon, haha. It’s just an idea I threw out there. I don’t know if any relationship I could invent for him would be as fun to write as the one I had between him and Alan, so it’s not like I’m very attached to the idea of him existing in this story.)

#...oooh #kaiba imports it into his Tower Of Death scenario because he paid big monies to Aether Foundation #jou ends up taking it back #the same way how in other trials they utilized things that belonged to their enemies against them #(maybe replace the stupid ride of fear part with it BECAUSE HONESTLY THAT WAS THE LOW PART OF THE TOWER. IT WAS STUPID.)

Hmm, that could work! Although honestly it might make more sense for Kaiba Corporation to have created Type: Null. Kaiba spared absolutely no expense when it came to creating Death-T, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that:

According to the currency converter I use, in 1996 (when this was written / would take place), ¥10,000,000,000 would be $87,989,745.57. Kaiba spent eighty-seven million dollars to build a theme park to kill Yuugi with. Money was not an issue for him whatsoever.

But that said, Type: Null seems like the type of creature Kaiba Corporation would have created, particularly if they existed within the Pokémon world. Maybe not so much once Kaiba takes over and turns it into a gaming company, but back when it was still a company for developing military weapons? The concept of pokémon being created as weapons is not at all foreign to the series (Mewtwo and Genesect being two prime examples), and I could see Gozaburo wanting to top all of them by creating a chimera that replicated the powers of Arceus. So maybe Type: Null had already been created and cryogenically frozen, and Kaiba released one of them in the hopes that they’d be able to kill Yuugi and the others. That could work. That said, I did really like Chopperman as Jounouchi’s personal challenge, particularly since he knows it’s a trap and walks into it anyway because he feels it’s the right thing to do (what a Gryffindor), so yeah, replacing the horror ride would definitely be preferable, particularly since how sexualized that scene was re: how the ride groped Anzu was unnecessary and gross and hands down the worst part of Death-T. :/

#(I HATE TRISTAN'S BRAT COUSIN HE HAD NO REASON TO BE THERE AND ONLY EXISTED TO MAKE TROUBLE) #(I APPRECIATED THAT HE VAPORIZED INTO NONEXISTENCE AFTER THAT ARC. BYE BINCH)

Haha, Jouji is his nephew, actually! Honda was on babysitting duty for his big sister that day. I will say that I do like the fact that Jouji exists purely because it lets us know that Honda has a big sister, and I’ve actually utilized that by fleshing her out into a character for a few fics I’ve written (including my magnum opus), which makes me somewhat attached to her. That said, we don’t actually need that, because Honda brings her up again when he brings clothes for Shizuka to wear when he picks her up from the hospital:

(Sorry for the scan quality, it’s the best I can do right now. Also, the “I don’t know if they’ll look good on you” --- that’s VIZ being kind of loose with the translation. In the original Japanese what he says is more like, “I don’t know if they’ll suit you,” which makes sense given Shizuka is far more demure than what Honda’s sister is implied to be like, given her taste in clothes.)

This little mention here is actually part of why I characterized her the way I did when I wrote her; that she wore “loud” clothes when she was younger spoke to a punkish style of dress, and in my mind, attitude therefore. Either way, though, Jouji is the first way we find out that Honda has an older sister, and that happens much earlier than this, so I guess that’s at least a little good he brings to the story.

Still, though, I agree with you overall, haha. I don’t like Jouji as a character at all. I don’t like the toilet humor during the horror game ride (though that still wasn’t as bad as the ride itself groping Anzu), I don’t like how he’s perverted as a baby, and I don’t understand how old he’s supposed to be. He seems like he should only be a year or so old, but if that’s true, how can he talk that well? How can he understand more mature concepts? It feels like he should have been at least five or six, but then I suppose he wouldn’t have been able to be carried around . . . ugh. Either way, he didn’t really bring anything of merit or value to Death-T. The closest we got was that he was the bait to lure Jounouchi in, and I liked that because, again, Jounouchi knew that it was a trap, but he walked into it anyway because he felt it was the Right thing to do, both because Jouji had helped them once before, and because Jouji was a baby. (And there’s a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment right before the games actually start where Honda is trying to get Jouji to shut up, and Jounouchi says, “Don’t make him cry!” Jounouchi really does have a soft spot for kids, aww. It’s the big brother in him, probably.) Plus, the fact that Jounouchi won that literal fight to the death while holding a baby in his arms is nothing short of badass, and I’ll never take any badass moments away from him. ♥

But yeah, Jouji was a worthless trash character, lmao. There’s a reason why, although I’ve written Honda’s older sister, I haven’t actually written Jouji. I’ve no use for that annoying thing.

#emexceedschangezearu #long post for ts #yugioh #meta #yeah so idk if I ever shared this but the love triangle with Shizuka? does not exist in the manga #neither Honda nor Otogi have feelings for her in the manga lmao #which is nice considering she's a junior high student (~13) and they're high schoolers (Honda is probably ~17 at this point since he's #the oldest of the bunch)#the fact that Honda literally wanted Shizuka to wear his older sister's clothes is the biggest sign he didn't have a #crush on her in the manga lmao. who dresses their crush like their sister?? no one #but the anime decided to rip this out and throw a weird and annoying love triangle in. SIGH.#it's also a waste because manga!Otogi >>>>> anime!Otogi imo #i far prefer awkward tsundere Otogi over flirty playboy Otogi #''I-I WAS JUST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD . . . I-IT'S NOT LIKE I WANT TO BE FRIENDS OR ANYTHING!!!" <- actual manga!Otogi dialogue #anyway this is off-topic. i'll be quiet now

10 notes · View notes

marudny-robot · 6 years

Text

Just in: ‘Radio Gotham’ interview with TJDW

Fandom: Batman (Comics) Rating: Gen Pairing: (mentions of) JayTim (Tim Drake/Jason Todd) A/N: sequel of “Message to Tim: ‘Are you still mad at me?“ Summary: Special interview with Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne. Only in Radio Gotham. A/N 2: I don’t know much about schooling system in USA nor about how corporations works there. If someone want’s to correct me after reading this, please let me know. I don’t mind learning something new.

“Good Morning our dear listeners! Hope you all woke up and tuned in! Amy's here and You are listening to Radio Gotham! More specifically, it's time for our Saturday morning talk-show!! And who's our special guest this week, Max?”

“He's special, all right! Ladies, Gents and everyone who can listen! One and only! Thud thud thud thud…! Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne!”

“Yaaay!”

“Pfft…! Wow. Heh. I feel special now, thanks.”

“It was our pleasure.”

“We can do it again if you want.”

“No, no need! Thanks for offering, guys! And Good Morning, to everyone listening! Max, Amy – thank you for inviting me here. It's a pleasure!”

“No, it us, who should thank you for accepting invitation and finding some time in your busy schedule!

“Amy, really. I'm your fan, guys! How could I not…”

“OK! Let's stop with the pleasantries, shall we?”

“…Max…”

“Oh! Sorry…”

“No need! But we have lots of questions and and we are on time limit here. Have some more coffee Mr …Wayne? Drake-Wayne?”

“Tim.”

“Have some more coffee Tim and I'll begin with the first question. Don't worry – it won't be job related. After all it's Saturday morning show – only light topics.”

“Good to hear. That coffee is good, but I'm not yet that much awake for more complicated topics.”

“So the first question: what's your opinion – and your family opinion – on memes and other Internet jokes considering your family?”

“Pshh! Please. We send each others those memes. Of course, there are some lines we don't want anyone to cross and we wish other people would simply not act like jerks, but what can you do? Besides those exceptions? We are invested as any other Gothamite. For example, this morning before I came here? We were discussing during breakfast the old ass question: Are there more Batman's protégées or Wayne Kids?”

“Oh my!”

“So what was the verdict?”

“We can't agree on how many there are protégées now, so it's still undecided – but we all agree that in ten years time there would be more Waynes than vigilantes under Batman's mantle.”

“What makes you guys so sure about that?”

“It's very easy, Max. Three points. First: vigilantism is nasty business so, despite their training, they might die at any moment. Second: During those ten years, most of us would be starting our own families and that means more people – especially kids – with the 'Wayne' in the name.”

“And third?”

“Third, well… Third point is that Bruce has an adoption problem. …At least we assume so.”

“So, does he have or not?”

“I don't know, Max. It was not yet verified. The only thing I can tell you is that whenever Bruce mentions some kid, we just stop him and ask if we should refer to them as our new sibling.”

“Ok! Let's leave it at that, boys! Tim, you said that during those next 10 years you and/or your siblings might start families. Does that mean that soon we will hear some happy news? And, as we are talking about weddings, what about your engagement with Tamara Fox?”

“About others – I don't know, guys – no one yet shared any news. And that engagement with Tam? It was fake. Actually, it was quite a funny story…”

“Oh? Do tell.”

“You see, back then when I recently started working for the WE, I didn't know much about the business. Tam was showing me the ropes. But also back then, she had no experience with answering the press – which I had. When that rumor came up, we were working together on one of ours first project for Neon Knights – which back then we tried to keep silent about until everything was finalized. It was a lot of work, most of which we kept in my apartment, because at that time we believed there to be an enemy spy in the office. It was false alarm – just so you know. Anyway, we were usually working on it at my place and after work – so in the evenings. Yes, I'm aware how that sounds. Going back to topic – so, when Vicky Vale caught Tam on her way to my place, she simply panicked. And blurted the first thing that came to her mind.”

“And the first thing was 'engagement'? I wonder, where you two together at that time?”

“No, we were not. I don't know why she said that, but it doesn't matter. But it was funny the following week, when Lucius – her father – who also knew the truth, was asking me If I'll eat diner with them. He was asking me this everyday, when Tam could hear us.”

“And you accepted those invitations?”

“Of course! The Fox family are very nice people, just so you know.”

“And there really was nothing between you and Tamara Fox?”

“Maybe not nothing, but certainly not much. I can't say for Tam, but I was crushing at that time – and how could I not, Tam is an amazing woman – but nothing more happened.”

“And what about now? Still crushing?”

“No. We are just good friends and colleagues.”

“But do you have any crush at all?”

“Well, I'm currently in the relationship if that's what you are asking.”

“Who's the lucky one?!”

“Is it Stephanie Brown?”

“Steph? Noo… Steph and I are good friends. Besides – she is currently dating my sister. I thought it was obvious.”

“I told you Max! They were clearly not 'just friends' in that picture!”

“And I wasn't disagreeing with you, Amy! Sorry Tim for making you clarify that, but you see… We just wanted to let some people in Metropolis know.”

“Yup. Considering the simple mistake, that was in the news recently. But that’s okey. Everyone can make those.”

“They must be too used to look far, looking for Superman, that they can't see what's besides them.”

“That was just low, Max.”

“Can you fault me, Ames?”

“…I see it was clearly a faux pas in your eyes.”

“Yeah. Sorry, Tim, for that. We just don't like when people spread the lies.”

“Don't worry, Max. Your stance on the subject is appreciated.”

“But going back to you, Tim. You said you aren't single?”

“Yes. I have a boyfriend – and to answer your next question, Amy – we are happily together for… it would be about two years now.”

“Oh really? How have you two met?”

“Haha…well… he was an old friend of mine then we lost contact for some time. Then, few years ago, we met again and ended meeting each other quite often from then. One thing let to another and here we are!”

“How are you still happy? No, wait – let me rephrase that. What I wanted to ask is how, considering you are quite busy person, you two have time for each other. Not to be rude, but speaking from personal experience, my wife and I – at the beginning of our relationship – sometimes couldn't talk or be with each other for long periods of time because of my job. It reflected bad on our relationship back then. I'm just wondering if you two have or had similar problems or if you have some advice for that?”

“It's okay. It's good question. How to answer you… I don't think I can give you any other advice, besides 'find each other in the middle'. You see, at the beginning my boyfriend and I – before we were together – we weren't friendly to each other. As I said before, we happened to meet quite often accidentally and then due to various circumstances at that time we had to often work together involuntary. Somewhere in between we started being civil to each other, then became friends. In the end, considering what problems we were working through together, my lack of time now seems just stupid. Yes, we try to spend time together whenever we can or work for being for each other in different ways.”

“I can only imagine how hard can it be, considering you also have what? WE, Neon Knights Project, college… “

“Right, college! Where you go to college, Tim? I don't think anyone knows that.”

“No-one knows, because I'm not currently in one, Max. Ehh… I know it sounds weird, but I got job at the WE, after I dropped from high school. I can't go to college without GED. Unfortunately for me, the Board of Directors demands from me to have a diploma. So, to put it simply, right now it's just a big mess and Lucius, Bruce and I try to straighten it out. I can't tell you any specifics but probably you shouldn't be surprised if in few months time I'll stop working with the WE for the sake of college.”

“And where you would like to go? Already thought about it?”

“Amy, if it was depending on me, I would be traveling around the world and take pictures. I don't mind taking pictures for National Geographic – for money, of course.”

“Photography? I didn't know you have passion for photography.”

“Or is it just new hobby?”

“Naah… It's old hobby of mine. I don't want to brag, but I was told that I'm good at it.”

“I would love to see those photos someday.”

“Who knows, Amy? Maybe one day you would see them in National Geographic?”

“I would look forward to it!”

“But what do you say about working for the press, Tim? Who knows, maybe you will catch Batman someday!”

“Ha! That would be awesome! Clearly magnum opus of my photographic career.”

“Just let us know, if you will take photo of Batman, ok?”

“Haha! Yes, sure!”

“I will hold you to that. I won't forget.”

“She won't – trust me on that one, kid. She has terrific memory when someone promises her something. Anyway - thank you, Tim. Unfortunately – and it hurts me to say it – but we have to end here. It was a pleasure to have you here with us. Do you want to say something to our listeners before we finish?”

“Yes, if you don't mind. …Well, it's rather a thing my boyfriend wanted me to say – I'm just a messenger.”

“Your boyfriend?”

“Oh? What he wanted you to say?”

“To thank, in his stead, you guys and all the listeners who gave some amazing ideas in the recent months. He found those really helpful. And I'm sorry for coming out as a bad boyfriend, considering my better half felt the need to ask the strangers for advice. Repeatedly.”

“…”

“…Wait a minute.”

“…Tim. Honestly, the last question, because I see Bobby glaring at us and pointing at the watch – what's your boyfriend's name?”

“Heh. Would you believe me, if I said it's 'Jason'?”

“…”

“I FUCKING KNEW IT!”

“…Amy. What have I said about shouting to the microphones?!”

#jaytim #Tim Drake #Maruda writes #it's official I love my two OCs - Max and Amy #But I don't have much on their respective histories #:< not yet anyway

59 notes · View notes

nanyoky · 7 years

Note

QUICKBIRD obviously but also do Wanda/Bucky AND Wanda/Vision please. for me. pretty please with a cherry and chocolate and sprinkles on top.

THIS IS WHY YOU ARE MY FAVORITE

Quickbird:

who’s the werewolf and who’s the hunter: Hunter!Sam and Werewolf!Pietro (I have a distinct image in my mind of anthony mackie as a wereworlf/vampire hunter in my head? did someone make a gifset at one point? That isn’t a real movie is it?)

who’s the mermaid and who’s the fisherman: Merman!Sam and Fisherman!Pietro

who’s the witch and who’s the familiar: Witch!Sam and Pietro is his cat familiar ala Thackary Binx in hocus pocus omg

who’s the barista and who’s the coffee addict: Sam needs his coffee at all hours, Pietro isn’t allowed at the register anymore, so he makes Wanda (better at faking politeness, so she’s always on the register) write flirty notes “From the kitchen” on Sam’s cup.

who’s the professor and who’s the TA: OMG ESSAY I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING. Because they hooked up at the end of last semester and they’d never met but judging on uh- age... Sam sorta figured Pietro was a student at the university where he lectures but it wasn’t a problem cuz he isn’t technically his student and then couple weeks later at the start of the semester he’s assigned a new TA and OH FUCK. And like every day is just “can you stop writing on the board and gesturing so animatedly with your sleeves rolled up all these freshman can def tell I’m daydreaming and staring at your ass all day as is just CHILL” and “can you just NOT come in with sex hair every day and slump back in your seat and have a dumb little smile whenever I lose my thread because you caught my eye and EVERYONE KNOWS STOP THIS I’M GOING TO GET FIRED” and “*both at the same time* AND STOP DOING THAT WITH YOUR PEN THIS ORAL FIXATION IS OUT OF CONTROL” and the poor helpless freshmen like “please stop this we need to pass our government credit”

who’s the knight and who’s the prince(ss): since winter soldier, we know that Sam “41st floor! 41st!” Wilson is def the type to be all “YOU’RE RESCUING ME WRONG”

who’s the teacher and who’s the single parent: i don’t know of any baby falcons, so: Luna never stops talking about her kindergarten teacher and then it’s parent’s day and Pietro’s just really embarrassed he has a crush on the same guy as his six year old.

who’s the writer and who’s the editor: Pietro’s not so much a writer as a translator and they only know each other through snide bitchy email threads like “this passage isn’t actually how people speak” “well it’s what it SAYS in Magyar so deal with it.” “or you could just say this thing that makes more sense” “NEVER.”

Winterwitch:

who’s the werewolf and who’s the hunter: I’ve already written brief mention of werewolf!Bucky, so THAT. omg hunter!wanda. I need to design that outfit.

who’s the mermaid and who’s the fisherman: Mermaid Wanda is fucking deadly omg. Bucky def looks like he’s spent good time on a boat.

who’s the witch and who’s the familiar: Easy. Bucky is a wolf.

who’s the barista and who’s the coffee addict: this is the same au as above and lots of misunderstandings are had when Sam and Bucky come in at the same time and get the wrong drinks- ergo the messages from the wrong twin.

who’s the professor and who’s the TA: Wanda is a community ed. psych teacher and Bucky went directly into the service and never got the college experience so he’s just taking a few night classes and his therapist says getting involved more with students and staff as a community will help him reenter civilian life. But then they just stay up late together grading papers and then there’s wine and then sloppy makeouts on Wanda’s apartment floor and that’s not what his therapist meant but hey whatever works.

who’s the knight and who’s the prince(ss): Bucky has been locked away and brainwashed in the tower and Wanda has to storm the castle with her magic to free him. I also need magical knight!wanda outfit designs in my life.

who’s the teacher and who’s the single parent: Parent!Bucky and Teacher!Wanda

who’s the writer and who’s the editor: Bucky hates his job but this novel came across his desk and it’s dark and weird and fucking unflinchingly PRIMAL without indulging in trauma-porn or glorifying the violence of it and he’s GOT to meet this writer.

Scarletvision (OF COURSE, FOR YOU):

who’s the werewolf and who’s the hunter: I’m sorry I’m just stuck on hunter!wanda now regardless of who her monster boyfriend is.

who’s the mermaid and who’s the fisherman: Merman!Vision and fisherwoman!Wanda. Possibly same au as the quickbird one.

who’s the witch and who’s the familiar: Easy. Vision is a raven

who’s the barista and who’s the coffee addict: Wanda and Pietro shuffle into the all hours shop after their bar shifts and no matter what time it is the same guy is on the register? Like what the fuck does he ever sleep? So they’re on a mission to figure out what his deal is.

who’s the professor and who’s the TA: Wanda teaches a language course and she normally refuses to take a TA that’s not a native speaker like her but her colleagues convince her to let Vision have a shot because he works harder than anyone and his aptitude is incredible. ((why am i into these ones so much tonight this is patently NOT MY JAM normally- but for these ships? YES PLEASE.))

who’s the knight and who’s the prince(ss): Knight!Wanda and Prince!Vision. I feel Prince Vision is very reluctant to follow Lady Wanda out of the tower. His books, you see. He needs time to pack- and are you sure that rope is going to safely carry both our weights on the way down? I haven’t calculated it yet but I believe your armor alone could be enough to cause sufficient strain to-

who’s the teacher and who’s the single parent: Parent!Wanda, Teacher!Vision

who’s the writer and who’s the editor: Wanda is ready to move on to a different publishing house due to the higher ups wanting to gut her magnum opus, but Vision is determined to win them over without sacrificing the soul of her work.

That was so fun and I am a SUCKER for dumb aus!!!!

#essayofthoughts #i want every single one of these but i have way too many fucking wips #do it for the meme #crackship #angst crackship #winterwitch #quickbird #scarletvision #codependent supertwins #my beautiful bird son #cousin sergei #i don't have a vision tag?#i just spent almost two fucking hours on these while i watched a movie and made snacks lol #I LIVE FOR DUMB AUS

2 notes · View notes

atleastputinsomeeffortinuroc · 7 years

Text

Rant/Review: Powerpuff Girls D -or- Worse Than The Reboot

(Yes. This gif describes it perfectly. Plus, I didn’t want to disgrace the powerpuff girls’ very image with this shit. So there.)

Ok, I’m not going to lie. My initial plan for this rant was to do a full on review and rant about my gripes and bitterness towards an animated show everyone likes for some reason (which you’ll probably see in the near future,) but something happened.

And, uh…Ok. Before I start. You ever find something so dumb, stupid and hilarious that once you see it you find you’ve gotta tell EVERYBODY about it? Like it’s so incomprehensible to your mind about what you just saw that you’re left stunned and without words? But not in the good way? In the “What in the actual fuck” way?

WELL! GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!

I was doing my usual shit on the internet, minding my own business, when I just so happened upon an old webcomic I had read back when I was a younger kid. A little comic called “Powerpuff Girls Doujinshi” by a dude named Bleedman (who the Encyclopedia describes as a man who “shows little talent for drawing, and has no imagination when it comes to storytelling.”) I’m not going to lie to you, I remember having fond memories of reading that as a kid. A kid who didn’t know any better and thought that Mulan II was just as good as the first one. A kid who was honestly a moron. And still is a moron to some capacity.

I snorted and thought, “Hey. I’ve got nothing better to do. Let’s blow a couple hours and read this shit and bring back some good ol’ nostalgia, huh?”

That decision has changed me. For the better or for the worse, I can’t say. But let me tell you, this shitty web comic is both the stupidest and yet oddest reads I’ve had since I read “Face the Strange.” And it left me almost wanting to recommend it in some demented capacity just to see other people’s reactions to this weird ass shit.

Let’s back up, though. What’s this webcomic about? Well, you remember that show Powerpuff Girls? Remember how much you loved it before the reboot shat on it with outdated jokes and corporate memes? Imagine those three (well, I say those three but more of shells of their characters, but I’ll get into that in a bit,) in a city where every single cartoon character you’ve ever seen seems to exist…and in some generic anime plot and setting.

Yeah. That’s what I did with my day. I’m a REAL adult.

But what else do I even say? Already you’ve made a decision in your mind about whether or not your morbid curiosity is going to give this thing the time of day. Recommended or not. Plus, it’s over ten chapters and ten YEARS OLD. The man who is doing the comic I think is still working on this sunvabitch like it’s his magnum opus. Going at this thing in a single sitting will take the entire website’s bandwidth.

And yet, I still kind of want to go into it. Because, again, I think this crap is funny. (Though there is some shit that happened in the background that is honestly disturbing, but I’ll get to that when I get to it) Criticism or not, I do technically recommend it as this terrible reverse masterpiece of just…just pure shit, but only in a certain shaudenfruede kind of way. In no ways am I saying this is good. At all. I want to emphasize that.

So I’m gonna break it down by just using the first arc to highlight the kind of issues prevalent throughout this piece of shit’s run. (Arc being basically a kind of completed narrative structure that spans several comics with a beginning, middle and an end—YOU KNOW WHAT AN ARC IS.)

First arc is what I’m gonna call “The Introduction Arc.”

Also spoilers, I guess. But, y’know, who actually cares? This thing is a decade old.

Right off the bat. The instant you pull up the comic. You immediately know we’re up shit’s creek without a paddle. The art style is BAD. Like that generic anime bullshit art kind of bad. In fact, I’d go so far as to say this shit looks TERRIBLE. And it’s worse in the actual comic (which I won’t show you, save for the image I’ve already got set up.

And, what’s even worse, is that it starts off EXACTLY LIKE EVERY HIGH SCHOOL ANIME IN EXISTENCE. “OH LOOK! IT’S THE NEW STUDENT! THEY’RE WACKY AND DON’T FIT IN! BUT, WHAT’S THIS?! THERE’S A STUDENT WHO IS JUST AS WACKY AND DIFFERENT AS THEY ARE”—I’m not a fan of this kind of storytelling. Can you tell?

The Powerpuff Girls are going to a new elementary school in Megaville (because fuck Townsville, it’s not like supervillains were tearing that place to shit on the daily, am I right?) And, like I stated before, they’re new and don’t fit in. (Insert *wah wah* noise here.) They go in front of the class and introduce themselves in front of their pink haired teacher (who, fun fact, NEVER SHOWS UP AGAIN AFTER THE FIRST COMIC,) and announce themselves as the superheroes known as The Powerpuff Girls. And the class starts laughing their asses off at them. (I WILL BE COMING BACK TO THIS SCENE IN A MOMENT.)

Everyone’s laughing, save for one person. Dexter. You know. From Dexter’s lab. Because, like I said, this is a big fan fiction comic. Later in the day during Recess, he says hello and demands to see their powers if they are superheroes because, as he says, he just so happens to “be a superhero” himself.

…NO HE’S NOT. HE’S AN ASSHOLE.

Then, when Buttercup starts getting up in his face, he says “Perhaps you’d like to see a sample of my capability and to prove which of us holds true.”

And…no, I don’t really know what language he’s speaking either. Yeah, he wants to fight these guys, and that’s obvious, but what is that sentence even? To see a sample of my capability. So how capable you are of being a hero? How is throwing down going to prove you’re a hero? Is it to see their abilities (which was stated two panels earlier?) Ok. Sure. I get that part. But to see which of us holds true is what confuses me. What holds true? There’s nothing in question. Nothing needed to be proven true or false. You have said this in the most incomprehensible way imaginable. Now, I know what you’re thinking.

Why does this matter?

…Honestly, it doesn’t. I’m just making a needless mountain out of a small molehill, but still. That is a bad line of dialogue.

Ok. Back on track. Buttercup being buttercup wants to brawl with Dexter. And they do. In true, glorious and terribly drawn fashion. But how does Dexter fight a Powerpuff Girl wearing nothing but a backpack? Oh that’s easy. HE JUST PULLS A MUCH OUT OF HIS ASS.

SERIOUSLY. THE PAGE BEFORE, HE HAS HIS BACKPACK, WHICH ASSUMEDLY IS WHERE THE MECH IS IN, AND HE DOESN’T MOVE OR FLINCH WHEN BUTTERCUP COMES FLYING AT HIM, AND THEN SUDDENLY—BAM. MECH SUIT. BECAUSE FUCK YOU.

Anywho, the two start throwing down. Buttercup flying and fighting whilst Dexter in his “fuck you” mechsuit tries to land in a couple hits. And while I can complain about how the negative space and lack of backgrounds make it feel lazy and pointless to stretch the fight scene out to three or four pages, but I want to harp on something else.

Ok, so do you remember back when the kids earlier were laughing at the powerpuff girls for calling themselves superheroes? Well, guess how they reach to this shit?

The answer: THEY DON’T! THEY JUST SORT OF STAND AROUND AND WATCH AS THESE TWO (and later FOUR, when Bubbles and Blossom show up to help whoop Dexter’s ass) THROW DOWN. SO IF THEY’RE FINE WITH THIS SHIT HAPPENING AT THEIR SCHOOL, THEN WHY THE FUCK WERE THEY LAUGHING!? AND FOR THAT MATTER, HAVE THEY NOT HEARD OF THE CONSTANT SUPERHERO FIGHTING GOING ON IN TOWNSVILLE?! BUT EVEN IF THEY DIDN’T, THEY KNOW DEXTER. DEXTER WITH THE FUCK YOU MECHSUIT. THREE GIRLS WHO CALL THEMSELVES SUPERHEROES ISN’T THAT FARFETCHED WHEN COMPARED TO HIM AND HIS ANTICS. AND THEY KNOW OF HIS SCIENTIFIC ANTICS, BY THE WAY. THEY REFERENCE IT LATER. SO WHY THE FUCK WAS THAT SCENE ADDED EXCEPT FOR TO ADD TO THE STUPID ANIME TROPE THAT EXISTS GO FUCK YOURSELF JESUS CHRIST

…

…Ok. Ok, I’m back.

So Blossom and Bubbles join in the fight after Buttercup seems out-matched because they’re more powerful together with sisterhood and friendship or whatever bullshit over these white backgrounds that are lazy as shit. And then they release those little energy things at him, presumably to MURDER this motherfucker, when Dexter slams his hands down and does…something? I dunno. They never explain, but they just blow up a good chunk of the ground and knocks the girls on their asses. Dexter gets ready to fight some more when the gym teacher stops them.

Who is this gym teacher?

Samurai. Fucking. JACK.

But in the background, while he’s yelling at them for doing shit, evil forces are in the background “hidden” on a rooftop and state how the girls are “more powerful than I have ever dreamed them to be” and other cryptic bullshit. I say “hidden” because there’s this BIG FUCKING MECH BEHIND THIS DEMON LOOKING THING AND THIS LOLI MOTHERFUCKER. AND I’M SORRY, BUT NO. I DON’T CARE HOW FAR AWAY YOU THINK THAT SHIT IS, YOU’RE GOING TO SEE A MECH THAT’S THE SIZE OF A DAMN HOUSE FROM A MILE AWAY. ESPECIALLY IF THAT SHIT IS PINK. WHICH, Y’KNOW, IT IS.

The next thing is a “joke” issue where it’s this spin off about “oh, Buttercup watches too much anime,” even though it isn’t funny. At all. Like…there is no real punchline. Just a bunch of “lol so random” unfunny shit.

But anyway, enough of that. Back with the main plot. Jack calls the group of four into the…dojo that the school has for some fucking reason, also, why the fuck is Samurai Jack teaching a gym class when he’s supposed to be fighting fuckin’ Aku and saving the future? Wh-what ever happened to that shit? Doesn’t matter—ok, I’ll go fuck myself then.

Anywho, Samurai Jack is not happy with the PROPERTY DESTRUCTION AND NEAR LOSS OF STUDENT LIFE OUT OF WHAT WAS BASICALLY A DICK MEASURING CONTEST, but has decided to LET IT GO. BECAUSE THE GIRLS ARE NEW. And Dexter’s punishment? HE’S GOTTA SHOW THE GIRLS AROUND THE SCHOOL. BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT. (Oh yeah, and Courage the Cowardly Dog is Jack’s dog now. Because his previous owner gave him to Jack to help him feel better, but the owners never came back so Jack, feeling NO RESPONSIBILITY TO FIND THIS DOG’S OWNER OR FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THME AT ALL, decides ‘eh, fuck it. I got a dog now. (And, to be fair, at least Courage is away from Eustace, that asshole.))

And then suddenly, BAM! THE ART STYLE CHANGES.

And when you get there, you’re going to ask the same question I asked which I will just go ahead and answer for you. No, you’re still reading the same comic, and yes, the same dude is doing the art for it. He just changed up his style. And, y’know, to be completely fair, it isn’t THAT bad. It’s not GOOD. But it’s not a pain to look at.

AAAAANYwho, blah, blah, blah, exposition, exposition, exposition. Dexter just lays out that Jack is basically a ninja (which is WRONG. SAMURAI ARE NOT NINJAS YOU FUCK.) And we see another problem that the writer has. An overusage of ellipsis.

And I know that sounds like a bullshit claim coming from ME, but here’s the thing.

My ellipsis? They’re only three dots. I keep ‘em like that.

This guy uses……….twenty……..dots to…..explain……….breaks in………………………………………….dialogue.

It’s something that, whenever I see it, call out for being really juvenile in terms of writing technique. Just use three dots, dude. You aren’t writing a rant on Tumblr. This is a comic. Fan or not.

Anywho, Bubbles is playing outside and alone with Courage, when suddenly this HUGE ASS MONSTEROUS LOOKIN’ THING SHOWS THE FUCK OUTTA NOWHERE. LIKE, OK. LOOK.

You set up a certain tone and art-style. Mainly just some cutesy bullshit. BUT YOU DO NOT, FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, IMMEDIATELY PUT THAT NEXT TO SOME BLOODY AND GORY THING WITH SHARP TEETH AND CLAWS WITHOUT GOOD REASON. Some comics can pull this off, like if it’s a parody or a joke. Courage the Cowardly Dog pulled this off because its tone was always so off the wall and creepy. But PPGD doesn’t have that luxury. It’s a generic high school anime. And what’s worse, is that it’s takin this shit SERIOUSLY. So it’s just JARRING as hell.

Especially when the next scene is immediately Courage doing charades with Dexter, Buttercup and Blossom to tell them that some huge freakin’ monster is outside in another *wah wah* tone.

Anywho, again, OUTSIDE OF THE FUCKIN’ SCHOOL, THERE’S ANOTHER BIG FIGHT. ONLY THIS TIME, IT’S WITH SOME BIG ASS DRAGON LOOKIN�� THING WHOSE DESIGN IS SO HARD TO PIN DOWN THAT IT JUST BECOMES A MIX OF FLESH AND METAL AT THIS POINT. ALSO. I’M PRETTY SURE THAT THIS THING HAS A BIG METAL SPIKE WHERE ITS DICK IS SUPPOSED TO BE.

Anywho, Blossom topples over Dexter in, again, MORE ANIME BULLSHIT WITH THE BLUSHING AND THE “o-oh. I-I-I-I-I-I’m so sorry” CRAP AS BUBBLES IS ABOUT TO GET EATEN ALIVE BY THIS SPIKE DICK DRAGON MOTHERFUCKER.

Buttercup runs up to whip this thing’s ass when the dragon blasts her and then PRECEDES TO CHOMP INTO HER. WITH BLOOD BEGINNING TO SPUTTER OUT OF HER BODY.

WHAT. THE ACTUAL. FUCK.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BUTTERCUP IS FUCKING DEAD. (No she isn’t, obviously, but it’s just framed in such a way that you’d believe it.)

And then, right before Bubbles gets the same treatment, Dexter holds Blossom back as Jack leaps out of nowhere to slice that motherfuckin’ dragon to pieces. BECAUSE HE’S SAMURAI FUCKIN’ JACK BITCH.

AND HE SLICES THROUGH IT WITH HIS BLADE. AND BLOOD STARTS COMIN’ OUT OF THE STUMPS WHERE ITS HAND-MOUTH THINGS USED TO BE, and Buttercup wakes up in Jack’s arms and blushes. She’s now got a crush on him.

Because fuck you.

AND WITH THIS CHILD STILL IN HIS ARMS, AS THIS ARMLESS, SPIKE-DICKED DRAGON STARTS RUNNING TOWARDS HIM, JACK RAISES HIS BLADE AND PULLS THE ANIME SLICING BULLSHIT THAT YOU’VE SEEN IN EVERY ANIME AND MOVIE EVER. AND HE KILLS IT.

The day is saved…I guess? The kids look on from the windows, because the teachers I’m guessing DIDN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT GETTING THESE JUDS TO SAFETY WHEN THERE’S A FUCKING DRAGON IN WHAT’S ESSENTIALLY THE SCHOOL’S PLAYGROUND.

Now. Who sent this dragon? Why was it made?

WHY IT WAS MOJO JOJO OF COURSE! WHO IS WATCHING FROM A DISTANCE. SPECIFICALLY A COUPLE FUCKING FEET, BUT THE OTHERS CAN’T SEEM TO FUCKING HEAR HIS MONOLOGUE DESPITE THIS OR ARE ABLE TO SEE THIS GREEN MONKEY WITH THE SWIRL HELMET WITH THEIR PERIPHERAL FUCKING VISION.

Another plan of his to destroy the powerpuff girls that, come to think of it, really did almost work it axing one of them, but was defeated through the power of anime bullshit. But before Mojo Jojo can escape without being seen, he’s stopped by that Loli from earlier. “Another powerpuff girl” (never explained as of ten chapters in) named Bell. And as she grabs Jojo by the throat, she tells him that her father wants a word with him as monsters surround her.

Monsters that, again, NOBODY SEEMS TO FUCKING NOTICE OR BRING UP DESPITE BEING IN A PUBLIC SETTING. LIKE. AT ALL.

And with that, that’s the end of the first two chapters and the conclusion of the first arc. And this is just the beginning, my dudes. It gets MUCH stupider.

Mandark is introduced. DeeDee is revealed to be DEAD. Like LEGIT FUCKING DEAD. AND DEXTER IS TRYING TO REBUILD HER WITH THIS BLOODY FUCKING ANDROID. AND THEN THE COMIC BECOMES THE DEXTER SHOW AS BLOSSOM IS KIDNAPPED AND DEXTER HAS TO NOW SAVE HIS WAIFU THAT HE TOTALLY DOESN’T THINK IS HIS GIRLFRIEND FROM MANDARK WHO HAS KIDNAPPED HER SO HE CAN KILL HER TO HAVE REVENGE FOR THE DEATH OF DEEDEE BECAUSE MANDARK LIKED DEEDEE, AND HE BLAMES DEXTER FOR HER DEATH, EVEN THOUGH TECHNICALLY IT’S HIS FAULT.

AND THEN INVADER ZIM AND GIR ARE INTRODUCED. AND GIR IS A GIRL NOW APPARENTLY? OH AND MEGAS XLR IS THERE. AND BILLY AND MANDY. AND A BUNCH OF OTHER CARTOON CHARACTERS THAT ARE JUST THERE BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT. X-J9 IS THERE FOR A LITTLE BIT. THE MEN IN BLACK ARE THERE. TEEN TITANS AND THE JUSTICE LEAGUE ARE REFERENCED (WHICH BRINGS UP A WHOLE NEW CAN OF WORMS LATER ON DOWN THE LINE.)

IT’S A MESS.

It’s a car wreck of different shit that’s trying to be this edgy high school anime with blood and death while also incorporating your favorite cartoon characters from EVERY channel imaginable in this cutesy anime art style, complete with terrible dialogue and action sequences.

And…it’s almost kind of funny? As you’ve seen, it’s frustrating to think about. But it’s that fun kind of frustrating, where you can’t just help but laugh at how STUPID everything is. And how DESPERATELY it wants you to take it seriously the instant it gets dark.

It gets relatively worse writing wise, as you’ve no doubt noticed with that whole shpiel about the Mandark arc. But the characters drift from being themselves to being this kind of former shell of their personalities until they’re completely unrecognizable. Dexter becomes this distant, tortured soul who has a thing for science. Blossom becomes the girl in distress as she’s tied to the hip with Dexter in wanting to understand him. Buttercup becomes a tsundere for Jack…because, again, fuck you. And Blossom is just…there.

Also GIR is there and gets annoying. REALLY. FUCKING. QUICK.

But aside from that…yeah, it’s fucking terrible. Nothing good in it. At all. No redeeming qualities to be found. I only recommend it if you’re interested in going down the rabbit hole and laughing all the way down as you do because it’s just so terrible that it becomes a ball to laugh at.

And that’s all I would have to say on the matter…except for one little, kind of EXTREMELY IMPORTANT THING. And that’s the writer and artist. And how he may or may not be a pedophile.

Now I didn’t know this going into it this time around, I only found out about it while reading up on who the fuck made this shit for this little thing.

Now the art-style itself doesn’t show anything REALLY pedophilic. (Nothing I haven’t seen done far worse in an actual anime that tries to save itself, anywho.) The most you get are a couple high-skirt shots that are more part of the action sequences. There’s a beach section that you are afraid might get REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE, but it doesn’t go that direction. They never get naked. There’s no sex. It’s all just a bunch of anime tropes. With Lolis. Only the Lolis are actually in elementary school. (At least, as of chapter 10. I haven’t read past that. Nor do I really want to.) My point is, it didn’t feel malicious. Stupid and terrible, but not malicious.

But I can’t say the same for the next thing I’m going to look at.

This may have been a fun, stupid and brain numbing romp through memory lane for me (with a couple disturbing realizations towards the end,) but it didn’t do anything that crossed the line into offensive and terrible shit. I don’t think anything I’ve talked about has gone that far. The closest of which being the Barbara thing in the Killing Joke adaptation. But even then...they never went this fucking far.

Within the pages of the infamous and dreaded “Grim Tales.”

To be continued…

7 notes · View notes