#surprisingly wasn’t a part of the vampires comics

[dw-writes]

32 for henry sturges :3

so, for anyone who doesn’t know, Henry Sturges is a character played by Dominic cooper in the movie Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, and one of the main characters in the novel by the same name, while being the main character in the sequel, The Last American Vampire. sadly, the author of those novels is The Worst (TM) and i am now claiming this character as my own and will treat him kindly

i love him so fucking MUCH

I HOPE YOU ENJOY LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

Saying “I love you”....in a way that I can’t return.

There were parts of your memory that were hazy – days that were missing as you tried to remember why you were in pain, why you were tired, when you had fallen asleep. You remembered the better parts – the parts where you accepted a new job as a personal assistant, where you met your stupidly rich boss, where you found him weird and obnoxious and meeting every cliché that you had ever read about.

You especially remembered the part where you discovered that he was a vampire. That was important.

You shifted, the smooth surface of expensive sheets sliding against your skin. They were soft, and smelled lovely, and you recognized the scent as the one that Henry used for everything that could be washed. It was an older scent, one that wasn’t really made anymore, that he got from a little store on the other side of the city. It was one of the few things that he did personally.

Burying your nose into the pillow, you let out a sigh. At least you knew you were home, and comfortable.

A damp washcloth traced over your temple, down your cheek, and around the back of your neck.

“You’re alright,” whispered a familiar voice, one tinged with accent so faint it could never be placed, “You’re safe.”

You dreamed about that vivid memory of discovery. Henry Sturges had centuries of practice of keeping his identity a secret, something that, if you had been more observant, you would have noticed at lot sooner. But even someone with centuries of experience under his belt was prone to forgetfulness, and that was something that plagued him that day – he had forgotten his own set of keys to the house when he had set off on his usual journey across the city. He’d only realized it when he was too far gone and had called you to get the keys for him.

“If you could,” he had added, “If you aren’t too busy.”

“Of course,” you replied, “I’ll bring them to you.”

You failed to tell him that you, too, were on the opposite side of the city, and that it would take you longer than expected to take the keys to him. That was why you had arrived at the store after closing time, found it unlocked, and discovered Henry hauling a man clean off the ground with one hand, while bearing a mouth full of gleaming shards of bone. He dropped the man when you shouted at him to stop, failed to see you grab a pipe to swing at his skull.

(The memory bubbled up in your dream, descending upon you as though through a fog.)

You held the pipe with both hands, standing between Henry and the stairs leading up into the convenience store. Henry held his head between both hands, groaning, doubling over his knees. The other man, the store own, was still crumbled on the ground, unharmed, but unconscious.

“You hit me!” Henry shouted, “You actually hit me!”

“What do you expect?!” you snapped, “You? What are you?!”

He stumbled as he straightened, examining his fingers, then touched his head again. He stepped towards you.

You lifted the pipe over your shoulder, ready to strike again, yelling out nonsense.

“Don’t hit me again!” he cried.

“Get back!” you shrieked, “Get? Back! And answer my question!”

“Put the pipe down,” he said instead.

“Answer me!”

“Put the pipe down!”

“Answer the fucking question, Henry!” you paused, “If that’s your real name.”

His mouth dropped open with a scoff. You brandished the pipe as he stepped closer, stuttering out a disgusted, “I can’t believe the distrust! The suspicion!” He was on you in the literal blink of an eye, gently prying the pipe from between your clenched fingers like it was nothing. He tossed it away. The comical hurt he had previously worn was gone as he said, “I’m a vampire.” He squeezed your shoulders and set you on the steps. “Stay here a moment? I’ll be right back.”

(He’d left the poor store clerk – Seth, you remembered his name being – with a stack of journals, then swept you away back to his home – your home, the place where he provided you with a room of your own and asked for no rent at all – to sit you down and explain what he could.)

A hand gingerly pressed against your cheek, turning your head enough towards the owner to allow them to drip a warm liquid between your lips. It was bitter, with an aftertaste you couldn’t describe, and you twisted your head away from it.

A warm sigh tumbled across your face. “This is something you’ll have to get used to,” whispered a familiar voice, “And it won’t be easy, I can promise you that. But I’ll be there every step of the way.” A word caught on his voice, scratching in your ear as he cleared his throat. A pair of lips brushed over your temple.

Those words were so familiar. It took you a moment – a moment in which you fell back into a deep slumber – but you recalled where you’d heard them. You had said them, years before, when Seth had approached Henry about a biography. You remembered finding him pacing the first floor of his town house, reading over a letter that you assumed was from the author in question, swearing beneath his breath as he wore a path in the floor.

You told him so as you leaned on the banister, giving him an easy smile. He merely stared at you – you would have called it a glare if you hadn’t known him so well – and waved the paper in your direction.

“He wants to interview me,” he grumbled.

“I think that’s been done before,” you countered.

Henry crumbled the paper and tossed it in your direction. You ducked the projectile with a laugh, almost missing his scathing comment about your mocking. “That was a terrible joke!” he said with a huff, “Awful.”

“You’ll have to get used to it,” you said as you sat on the stairs, “Especially if people take what you say to heart – what the book says to heart.” Henry sat on the stairs, leaning back against the wall to look up at you. You reached out to run your fingers through his clean, un-styled hair. “It won’t be easy; I can promise you that. But I’ll be here for all of it. If you want.”

He leaned into your hand with a miniscule, unnecessary sigh. “I cannot imagine anyone else helping me with this,” he whispered.

You quirked an eyebrow. “Not even the man you trusted your beloved Abe’s journals to?”

(The quip earned you a gentle pinch, and eyeroll, and a smile only you were truly welcome to.)

You had rolled in your sleep, or had been moved, into a position that was startlingly comfortable. You turned your face further into the soft fabric under your cheek.

“Are you awake?” asked Henry, his voice surprisingly close to your ear while whatever you laid on rumbled with his words. Your eyes fluttered. A finger brushed over each of them, brushing the crust from your lashes. You wrinkled your nose. “You are awake,” he whispered, “Take your time. You’ve been through a lot.”

“What happened?” you croaked. You smacked your lips together and groaned; your mouth tasted awful. You rolled away from Henry’s tender hold, burying your face back into the pillow beyond his arm. “How long have I been asleep?”

He didn’t answer you. Instead, he appeared at your side again, the bed bending beneath his weight, and he held a glass to your lips. “Drink,” he murmured. His hand slid behind your head to help you.

The strange taste bloomed across your tongue as you sipped – bitter, and warm, and tangy as it rolled down your throat. You wrapped your fingers over his hand and gulped the concoction down, whatever it was – it soothed an ache you hadn’t noticed. You pressed your knees against his side as you sat up, tilting the glass further towards your face, draining it of everything it had, even going so far as to lick the brim clean before you opened your eyes.

He was watching you. His thumb brushed the space behind your ear while his fingers trailed down your neck. You rolled your lips together as you tried to gather what remained of your drink. You watched him in return: how hadn’t you noticed how beautiful he was before? You could count the freckles across his nose and cheeks in the low light of the bedroom with how vibrant they were against his skin; his swept back hair held various shades of brown, and a scant few strands of silver – from the stress of crossing over from England, you figured, before he was turned, or maybe they’d gone grey during the run from Crowley shortly after; and then there were his eyes, which skipped across your face before holding yours.

The blood that ran through your body – the blood that wasn’t yours anymore – ran cold.

You dropped the glass.

Henry managed to catch it before it hit the wood floor, depositing it on the nightstand at your elbow.

You rubbed your throat as the missing memories returned, first in patches, then like a film playing behind your eyes: someone had broken into the house. You had been downstairs, labeling the few bottles of blood that Henry kept hidden in his fridge, frowning at the unfamiliar sounds of another human in the home. It hadn’t taken you long to react, either – your father had taught you well before he died, had made sure that you would be ready to live on your own when the time came.

You pulled a knife from the butcher’s block and stepped out of the kitchen.

Your view from the hall to the front door was unobscured. Behind you, however, was a puff of hot air as someone growled, “You’re really real, aren’t you?”

A door upstairs slammed open.

You stepped away and twisted around, lifting the knife between you and the intruder, filling the hall as best as you could. You had only seconds before Henry would be down the stairs, before the man, who stared at you with a crazed glint in his eye and held a wooden stake above his head, would be able to figure out who was really the vampire in the house and hurt him instead. Maybe even kill him.

He would kill Henry.

He couldn’t kill Henry.

You wouldn’t let him.

You remembered answering him with a breathless, “Yes,” before the stake splintered your ribcage and plunged down into your heart.

Thumbs rubbed circles over your cheeks. You blinked slowly as the memory fell into place, neatly outlining a time before you were asleep – dead, you supposed – and when you woke up.

Henry whispered your name. You finally met his gaze once again. He let out a deep, unnecessary and dramatic sigh as his forehead fell against yours. “You know that ‘I love you to death’ is only a saying, right?” he asked, “And that was a very dramatic way to say it.”

Your face flushed. “Who said that I loved you?” you squeaked.

“You did, when you went and took a man’s stake to the heart for me!” he shot back.

“Maybe I was just there and he wanted to kill us both,” you argued.

“Hm, and that’s why you said you were the vampire, is it? That you were real?” he asked.

You pressed your lips together.

His fingers trailed down your jaw and under your mouth, gently holding your chin. “There’s not a single way that I can think of that can match that, you know,” he sighed against your lips, “This will have to do.” He said a lot as he kissed you, making sure that you knew how much he loved you, that he’d loved you for an awfully long time, that it probably started when you first walked through his door, and you hoped that the kiss you gave in return said as much as your death did – that you loved him.

That you love him.

That you will always love him.

#vampire #henry sturges #henry sturges x reader #the last american vampire #abraham lincoln vampire hunter #reader insert #vampire boyfriend #toss a queue to your witcher

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

It’s Just a Movie: Part 10 (Poly!Lost Boys x Fem!Reader)

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Warnings: cursing

Word Count: 1849

You and the boys had been discussing their plan for the past two weeks, having kept track on your notes app in your phone. The first few days had just been with what their ending 'goal' was, which turned out to be harder than you thought for them to agree. Well, for you and them to agree. When you proposed their desired ending, Dwayne had quickly said,

"Kill Sam and the Frogs." And Marko was quick to second him. It seemed that neither of them were quick to forget their killers, even if you were sure the only reason Dwayne wanted the Frogs dead was because they went after Laddie. You, however, were quick to argue,

"They're kids, guys." And, before they could appall you with any loose morals, you added, "Plus, Max is gonna tell you to turn Sam, remember?" But neither of them seemed too bothered by only being able to kill the Frogs. So, you reminded them, "They haven't done anything yet. They might not even suspect vampires exist yet." You pointed out, and the boys frowned. After a few days, you got them to agree to only kill them if they attempted to kill them first. Quickly, you tried to steer them in a different direction.

It was decided fairly quickly that the boys wouldn't be able to disobey Max once he ordered them to turn the boys, and it would be near impossible to get to them beforehand. So, you suggested,

"Well, why don't we just try to make Max's plan work? I mean, it wouldn't be too bad having Lucy for a mom, right?" You offered, but the boys exchanged a glance as they mulled it over. Lucy was sweet, kind to her boys, and probably wouldn't force them to change. And, with how much freedom she gave Michael and Sam, they could imagine that their lives wouldn't be all that affected. You tried to defend her case, but, as David eloquently put, 

"That's exactly why she shouldn't end up with Max." He said, and you frowned. 

“He can’t be that bad...right?” But even you didn’t really know. You remembered the ending, where he didn’t even bat an eye, let alone shed a tear, at the death of one of his ‘sons’. Without missing a beat, Paul said, 

“He’s a dick.” You expected a slap of the head from Dwayne or a look from David. When neither came, you let out an uneasy breath. So, it seemed that Max's 'Blood-sucking Brady Bunch' was out of the question. When you pushed the topic of Max, it was decided that perhaps his ending shouldn't be all that changed. By the end of the first couple of days, it was decided that Max would die, and that David would take his place as the head vampire. You had to admit that it seemed to make more sense, with how detached the boys already were from their sire. And because it had technically been Maxs fault for their deaths in the first place. But, making sure Max bit it and they didn't was definitely going to make things more difficult. Especially when you factored in Star and Laddie. 

“Wait, why are we turning Star again?” Marko asked. It was a couple days later and the five of you were eating pizza in the cave, having already visited the boardwalk. You, Marko, and Paul sat on the floor while Dwayne laid sprawled out on the couch and David sat in his chair. You were revisiting your ideas for how they were going to change the future, and you were doing a rebriefing of what the five of you had agreed on. Really, with having been there for two weeks, it was the only thing to keep your mind off of the improbability of you ever going home.

“She’s the one that’s gonna lure Michael in.” Paul reminded him, reaching over to snag one of your fries. You batted his hand away, and he gave you a grin as he popped it into his mouth. Marko scoffed, shaking his head.

“And why do we need to lure him in again? I mean, we already saw how that goes.” He grumbled, and you tried to choose your words carefully. He was always a little tense during these discussions, as his death would be the first you’d need to avoid.

“If we stray too far from the movie, then we have no idea how the events will turn out. And no idea how to prevent any near-death experiences.” You reminded. It was the exact reason that you had crossed out the potential of keeping the Emersons away completely. “We’re only gonna change some minor things, so Michael still needs to be turned into a half for everything to work.” You said calmly, and he let out a long sigh. He pushed the pizza box away from him, and your fries away from you before he laid your head in your lap. Over the past week, the boys had gotten comfortable with you. Almost a little too comfortable. While you hadn’t done anything with any of them yet, platonic affection didn’t seem to bother any of them. Even if Paul constantly offered otherwise. You already knew what he expected, and you gently began twirling his curls and scratching his scalp.

“But he’s such a poser.” Marko said, and you couldn’t help your smile at the use of slang. Your mind instantly flashed to when he bought the leather jacket, and then the earring. He seemed to try so hard to fit in, or perhaps impress, that you hadn’t even considered that that might describe him perfectly. You watched as his face relaxed, his eyes fluttering closed as you used your nails to scratch one of his sweet spots.

“Yeah, but he’ll be human again when Grandpa kills Max, and then you won’t have to worry about him anymore.” You said, and you didn’t notice the small smile on David’s face as he watched you calm the blonde vampire. Marko let out another sigh, before wriggling his way further into your lap. He let out a small grunt, apparently satisfied enough to stop his arguing. For the meantime. After a moment, you added, “Plus, you won’t have to watch Laddie all the time with Star.” You said, giving Dwayne a look. He had been reading a book, and he perked up at the mention of the little boys name. When he looked over and saw that you were already looking at him, he was quick to look back down at the piece of literature in his hands. Paul let out a small snicker, and you smiled.

You knew that, while he would never admit it, Dwayne was eager to meet the little boy that had become so close to him during the movie. It was like he was awaiting the birth of his younger brother, even if the little boy was already walking around somewhere. Though, you and David had silently agreed not to discuss the fate of the young boy. While the five of you could plan your ideal ending all you wanted, the most important thing was being able to roll with the punches and to be realistic. And, well, Laddie had stuck to Star more than he had stuck to the brunette haired boy. 

With keeping most of the story-line and only a fraction of the ending the same, there was only one part of your plan left undecided. 

“So, how are you gonna stop Sam from coming down here with the Frogs?” You asked. There was, of course, the expected chorus of,

“Kill the frogs.” From Dwayne and Marko. It was a frequently revisited issue, and the five of you had yet to agree. You had to make sure you spent their nights with them after Paul, surprisingly, had suggested finding their comic book store earlier that week. But, before you could argue your usual point over again, David said,

“We don’t have to kill them. We don’t even have to stop Sam from meeting them.” And you were quick to arch a brow. Paul let out an audible,

“Huh?” And Marko and Dwayne both sat up to look at their leader. It was an undiscussed idea, but, from the way David said it, you guessed that he’d been sitting on it for a few days now. It seemed that whatever ideas he had, he was finally willing to share them. He took a drag of his cigarette, before he began to elaborate. 

“You said it yourself, y/n. We can’t risk going too far from the movie. We just have to make sure that Sam and the Frogs think that Max is the head vampire, and a few other things.” He added the last part vaguely, and you stared at him. With the way the edges of his lips curled, you were positive he was leaving you in suspense on purpose. You sighed, giving him a look. Finally, you asked,

“Like what?” And you watched the way his smile grew. He seemed to love whenever you gave in to his egging, and he supplied you with,

“Like thinking that by killing him it’ll turn all his children back to being human. Including us.” He said, and you felt your jaw fall for a moment before you quickly recovered. You didn’t want to inflate his ego, even if he already looked immensely satisfied with your reaction. Paul let out a low whistle before he said,

“Shit. That’s perfect. Michael will totally-”

“He’ll treat us like Star and Laddie. Same with Sam.” Marko finished for him, even if Paul went on rambling. He rambled about how they could blame the murders on vampire instinct, lack of human memory, or play into the thirst for sympathy. Or how they could make it almost hero-like by saying they only went after assholes. Dwayne, his deep voice cutting through Pauls chatter, said, 

“And Grandpa won’t go after us. Not if we could be saved.” And you stared at all of them. It was a good plan. A great one. But, you could only think of one fatal flaw in it, and it was staring you in the face. 

“Do you really expect them to believe you though?” You asked David. No matter how charming they could be, you didn’t expect them to really be that stupid. And it wasn’t something that they could just naturally bring up to Star and Michael without it raising some sort of suspicion from the pair. Especially when the Frogs were so hell-bent on killing all vampires, even if said vampire was only a half and a child. Davids smile turned into a smirk, and he gave you a small shake of his head as he said,

“Oh, not at all.” And confusion filled your face. You stared at the pale boy, his stubble dusting his cheeks and his hair practically glowing in the light. The smoke from the end of his cigarette curled and floated towards the ceiling as he said, “I expect them to believe you.”

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #the lost boys paul #the lost boys david #the lost boys dwayne #the lost boys marko #paul the lost boys #david the lost boys #dwayne the lost boys #marko the lost boys #the lost boys imagines #the lost boys x reader

[whatifxwereyou]

Firestorm Part 12: Chongqing

Fandom: Mortal Kombat 2021 Liu Kang x Reader

And now for an interlude where you go shopping with Chen and Lao. It goes just about exactly as you expect until Lao becomes serious Lao. You needed this.

A/N: longer chapter but had a blast writing it! enjoy, friendos.

Start From the Beginning << Previous Chapter Next Chapter >> Chapter Index

Chongqing was overwhelmingly loud and bustling. Your trio couldn’t have stood out more amongst the crowds of the busy shopping district. Kung Lao with his hat and tunic, Chen in her simple robes, you dressed like a vampire. Black had become your new favorite wardrobe color. The ink didn’t stain it quite as badly.

The perpetual lump in your throat was going to drive you completely mad. You’d never felt this kind of anxiety before. In fact, you had been used to being the butt of every joke in your hometown. Wherever you went people would stare. But you’d never actually put any of them in danger before. This was different.

It felt like you were wrapped tight in explosives and had to pretend you were normal while walking through a busy street. No one noticed you was explosive. Kung Lao seemed pleased to be out and about with you in the world. Chen stood next to him, scowling at Kung Lao for whatever reason. You had enough to deal with without trying to understand what Chen was mad about. Chen grabbed your wrist and checked your pulse. You sighed heavily and looked away. She’d done that twice since you’d left.

“It’s not going to get any slower.” You whispered and Chen looked to you disapprovingly, then wrote something down in her little book. “We really don’t have to do this.” This was about the seventieth time you’d said that this morning. Kung Lao had insisted you run your errand. “It’s a stupid little errand and it seems silly.”

“We’re already here, Y/N. Don’t stress so much.”

“Yeah, but we’re going to Andong soon and I can get what I need there. Really. There’s way too many people here.” The dangerous scenarios that repeated in your head were wild. Chen then stepped back and Kung Lao smiled brightly at you. He was confident as ever for a man who you’d maimed just the other day.

“It’s just a few hours, Y/N. Just the two of us.” He rested his hand gently on your shoulder. Chen cleared her throat behind you and Kung Lao’s smile fell. “And her I guess.”

“As rude as ever, Kung Lao.”

“That’s Master Kung Lao and if I didn’t have to bring someone who could handle Y/N’s health issues if they creep up then I wouldn’t have.”

“Well, you had to. Sorry to break up your romantic day out, Master Kung Lao.” Chen bowed but the sneer on her face was priceless.

“Romantic? No, no, no.” You thought this couldn’t be further from romantic. A trip to the biggest city in China to get birth control was more like a bad dream. At least right now. Maybe it was a little funny but only if everyone came out of it unscathed.

“Where to first?” Kung Lao looped his arm in yours and guided you down the road slowly. With a heavy sigh you gestured down the street.

“Anywhere. Even a drugstore would do.”

“What could you possibly need from a drugstore that we don’t have at the Temple?” Chen had volumes to say on the matter but was being on her best behavior.

“I’m sure Y/N has her reasons.” Kung Lao defended you and then leaned closer to whisper. “…but what do you need?”

“It is no one’s business.”

“Wow, defensive.” Kung Lao grinned. Chen pointed at him and nodded to agree.

“Lady stuff. Okay?” An easy answer to make Kung Lao stop asking you questions.

“Oh.” Both Chen and Kung Lao seemed disappointed that it wasn’t something more exciting.

“It was bound to come up eventually.” Chen narrowed her eyes suspiciously. You were grateful that Chen didn’t seem nearly as bold in front of Kung Lao.

“This is suddenly a much less exciting trip.”

“What did you think I needed to buy, Lao?”

“Clothes? Lady… things?” He looked you over from head to toe and your jaw dropped. You stopped your walk and pulled your arm away from his, resting your hands on your hips. Chen was trying very hard not to laugh, face turned away but beat red with effort.

“Are you implying that you thought I had invited you to come shopping for lingerie with me?” You gestured to yourself. Chen was now failing at her task of not laughing. She was open mouth wheezing, bent over with one hand on her knee.

“I feel like that’s something I would excel at.”

“I think that you would be the exact opposite of helpful.”

“Now you’re just being ridiculous, Y/N.” Kung Lao grinned, delighted that he’d managed to turn your face red. Chen was practically crying tears of happiness.

“And just what would you do if I took you into a lingerie store, hmm? I’m calling your bluff.” You tapped your foot expectantly and Kung Lao stiffened up. If he wanted to tease you then you would tease him right back, Chen be damned. He stuttered, ran his tongue over his teeth, but then grinned and pointed a finger at you with no words to back it up. “That’s what I thought.”

“If that’s a challenge Y/N, then you’re on.”

“Are you sure? Tall man, already standing out like a sore thumb with that hat, towering above a store full of women shopping for lacy underthings? Really sure you want to do that?”

“I uh…”

“Because it will be awkward. Not the fun, sexy thing that you think it’s going to be.” You were winning and rather happy about it.

“I can’t breathe, you two have to stop.” Chen was coughing with laughter. You patted her on the back.

“At least someone thinks we’re funny.”

“Not for the reasons you’re thinking.” You muttered and then gave Chen another smack on the back and then cleared your throat. Chen wiped her eyes. “I do need clothes but it’s not urgent. And I’m not underwear shopping with you, Kung Lao. No offense.”

“We’re here so you should get what you need while we are. I’ll just be the creep standing outside the store.” Kung Lao slipped his arm around yours again and then led you further down the street, eyeing the shops. You had to dart between people as you walked and being in this big of a crowd made you visibly uncomfortable.

“We should get this over with quickly.” You didn’t mean to sound like you didn’t want to spend time with him. You were uncomfortable but only partially because you were out with Kung Lao and Chen.

“Come on, Y/N. Relax a little.”

“It’s dangerous to be around this many people.” There was no point in dancing around the truth. They didn’t seem to take you seriously. How many times had you wounded Kung Lao and Liu Kang? These were men that you cared about deeply. Unusually tough men with magic powers. Imagine what kind of damage you would do to Chen if you lost it. And the ten people who had just walked past you! You shivered at the thought. Chen patted your shoulder comfortingly then drifted behind you and Kung Lao as if to try and alleviate your worry.

“Try not to think about it.”

“Really? I… let’s just get it over with.” You laughed in disbelief. You wouldn’t ruin their mood just because you were nervous of what could be. Kung Lao led you into the massive store on the corner. It was a towering building. Just inside there was a sign along the wall listing each level and what was sold on them. This floor was convenience. The floors above were separated like a department store.

You pulled your arm free of Kung Lao’s and meandered through the aisles. There was a pharmacy at the far end. Yes, your target. You stopped in the middle of the aisle and frowned. You didn’t have a prescription. Damnit. What had you been thinking? None of this was working out the way you’d wanted it to. It was comically bad! You laughed at yourself and Kung Lao furrowed his brow next to you.

“What’s wrong? You okay?”

“Yeah. It just struck me how weird it is to be shopping with you like life is normal.”

“I do it all the time.”

“Does it ever stop being weird?” You had been lying and Kung Lao hadn’t noticed. Score one for you.

“People stared and pointed at you all the time when we were kids. I can’t imagine that changed much after I left. You can’t possibly feel weird about it now.”

“Well, there’s a man standing next to me with a big weapon-y hat and… we stand out in a different way. Plus I’m dangerous.” You nudged him. Kung Lao grinned.

“I’m happy to stand out next to you.”

“You’re so corny.” You pointed to the next aisle. “Lady things. My mission. You coming?” You dared him.

“Ugh, no. I’m going to go look at literally anything else. Ruining all my fun…” Kung Lao teased, patting your shoulder before walking in the opposite direction. Good. Chen was nowhere to be found. She’d probably been distracted by something or another. Good. She’d needed to get out too. With a sigh of relief, you made your way to the pharmacy counter instead of the next aisle. The woman behind it looked so tired that you thought maybe she was a prisoner there.

“Picking up?”

“Actually… and I know this is going to come across at stupid but… I’m from out of town and I’ve forgotten my birth control.” You lied. You sounded like you were lying. It was so terrible. You were the worst! You’d used all your lying skills up for the day. Thankfully, the pharmacist seemed so tired that she either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “I know that usually I can’t get it without a prescription but I was hoping there was something I could pay for outright over the counter, maybe?”

“I’m sorry, ma’am. The only thing I have over the counter is for the morning after.” She was surprisingly sympathetic for someone who was most definitely not paid enough. “I can call your doctor’s office and see if they’ll fax over a prescription if you like.” That was helpful except that you were supposed to be dead so that didn’t work out.

“No, no. I don’t have a primary care doctor here and…”

“Oh, I can call just about anywhere.”

“That’s nice, um… no, it’s okay. Thank you though. I’ll take some of the morning after stuff if you have it.” You sighed heavily. It was better than nothing. You tried to figure out a way to sneak into a doctor that day but it didn’t seem possible without completely abandoning Chen and Kung Lao. Maybe you would be able to do it later with Liu. Ugh, you didn’t want to wait that long. Your face flushed just thinking about it. You couldn’t wait to share this story with Liu later. It was hilarious. You paid for the medication which you asked to be double bagged. When you turned around, you found Chen standing behind you, hands on her hips, a smile on her face.

“I knew it.”

“You knew what?” You tried to play it cool but your face had immediately turned red and betrayed you. Chen tapped the bag and the burning in your cheeks intensified. “What? My hormones are being whacky.”

“Bull. You’re a terrible liar. I knew something was up. You are trying to be prepared before sleeping with one of those boys. Or both if you’re smart. Trying not to get pregnant, right?” Chen pointed an accusatory finger at you but her eyes were sparkling with joy. The woman behind the counter was now watching you with delight.

“Shush! Quiet!” You grabbed Chen’s arm and pulled her further from the pharmacy counter. “Please.”

“If you don’t tell me I’ll get louder. Kung Lao isn’t that far away, you know.”

“Fucking fine, you are mean, Kung Lao was right.”

“I love when you curse.”

“You are the worst…”

“Yeah, I know, the worst monk.” Chen brushed off the insult. “Tell me! It’s been ages since I’ve had anything juicy.”

“Fine. Yeah, I wanted to try and get some birth control. But I’m a moron for… numerous reasons. I forgot that I needed a prescription. So this whole embarrassing and stressful trip was next to pointless.”

“You should have told me, Y/N. I work in the infirmary. You’re not the only girl in the temple who needs birth control. Some of the hormones in there are crazy. I’ll get you some when we get back.”

“…well, now I feel bad. That was nice.”

“If you didn’t buy birth control then what did you buy?” Chen narrowed her eyes suspiciously then in a flash snatched the bag from your hands before it could be pulled to safety. She stepped back toward the pharmacy counter out of your reach and then looked into the bag. “Y/N! You dirty girl!” She grinned. You yanked the bag back from her. “You slept with one of them and didn’t tell me?” Your face was so red you thought you might explode. There were no words, just embarrassment. You weren’t the one who was a gossip, this should not have been surprising. “By the way? You should buy some tampons to cover your tracks. I keep those in the temple too, by the way. You really should have just saved yourself the trouble and just talked to me.” You felt more and more like a moron. You deserved this. Your shaming had been earned. “Did you have unprotected sex with one of them? Here I was thinking that you were never gonna spread your legs and…”

“Wow, wow… okay shush… this is a rollercoaster and I need off.”

“You didn’t have to make this trip. All you had to do was talk to me.”

“Yeah, so you can have your weird vicarious fantasy.”

“Obviously.”

“And you’d help with the Plan B, huh?”

“Maybe. Did you sleep with Kung Lao? Bareback? Really? You want to breed with that?” Chen seemed to be considering if this were a viable option and you wanted to bash your head repeatedly into the wall until you were unconscious to escape this embarrassment. “I mean, I guess that wouldn’t be the worst thing but you…”

“No! No I did not.” You were practically squealing.

“Oh.” Chen grinned from ear to ear and your face dropped. “So it was Liu Kang then.” Your face was so hot you were practically suffocating. It was not nearly as fun as the kind of suffocation being with Liu Kang had provided. The woman behind the counter was listening to you with rapt attention but pretended to go back to work when she realized she was caught.

“You have got to be quieter.” You walked away from Chen, down the aisle, grabbed a box of tampons then paid for it at the pharmacy counter. Then you shoved it deep in your bag. Chen was grinning so wide that you thought she looked deranged. Before you could say anything further on the matter Kung Lao joined you from the other end of the aisle.

“Oh, good. You look done. I was bored.” He looked you over and narrowed his eyes. “Your face is red.”

“Uh… hot in here, right?” You fanned yourself and Chen snorted with laughter. This had to have been Chen’s dream come true, short of walking in on you with one of them.

“…that woman is staring at me.” Kung Lao whispered, stepping closer to you, and nodding toward the pharmacist.

“It’s the hat, I’m sure. Didn’t notice.” Every word was a struggle to say without bursting into laughter. You then grabbed his hand and dragged him away from the pharmacy counter. He slowed you down, pulled his hand free, and then slipped his arm around your waist lazily.

“I was thinking that we could grab something to eat if you’re up for it. I’m hungry.” Thankfully Kung Lao hadn’t needed any answers. Chen joined you, walking on the other side of you. “There’s a pretty good sushi place around here if I remember correctly.”

“Do you think it’s responsible for me to sit in a restaurant?” You were in disbelief but at least your face was finally cooling down.

“You’re still allowed to live, Y/N.” Kung Lao’s grin finally fell.

“Yeah, live a little.” Chen added. You could practically see the devil horns sprouting on her head.

“You guys don’t… get it.” You pulled away from Kung Lao and stopped your walk, turning to face them.

“I really don’t.” Kung Lao pouted and then mouthed that he was hungry. For sushi.

“Look at yourself, Kung Lao.” You gestured to him. “You’re bruised to hell.”

“Bloodied too.” Kung Lao seemed proud of it.

“Wouldn’t know. He never comes to the infirmary unless he’s dragged there. Even then, he’s the worst.”

“I’m only the worst because you’re so mean.”

“Is that reason? Because if that were the reason then it would only be me dreading you visiting the infirmary.”

“I’m… going upstairs to buy some clothes. You can keep bickering and I’ll think about food.” You turned away and walked to the stairwell around the corner. You breathed a sigh of relief to be away from people and then fanned your still red face. Only seconds later, Chen and Kung Lao joined you. They were still bickering. The permanent look of disgust on Kung Lao’s face as they argued about his health was hilarious.

Let them argue. You walked up to the next floor and found it was women’s clothing. You searched the rack for some staples. Now that you thought about it, you really did want to buy some lingerie but you couldn’t dream of doing that with those two breathing down your neck. Instead, you focused on staples. You found a few things to sleep in, more pants, cute black shirts. Black was your new aesthetic, apparently. You couldn’t help but think that you were beginning to dress like the witch that everyone in your hometown had accused you of being. It was a little comical.

Kung Lao stood next to you and Chen disappeared in the stacks. You were trying not to laugh at how annoyed he looked. He shoved his hands into his pockets and then peered over your shoulder, purposely trying to catch your gaze and distract you.

“Yes?” You turned toward him.

“None of this is lingerie. Boring.”

“Wow, so funny.” You rolled your eyes but smiled. You gave him a hard time but it really was fun to be out and about with him. He made you laugh. This experience was stressful for too many reasons but he managed to make it a little less nerve racking.

“I’m sorry for being a dick about this.” Kung Lao rocked on the balls of his feet, avoiding your eyes. “I know that you’re afraid of hurting people. I’m just… used to deflecting everything with humor. Tried to ease the tension and made it worse. And your friend being here isn’t making it easier. I swear she has it out for me.”

“She does seem to.” You smiled sympathetically. Now that you thought about it, Chen had tried to tell you something a few days ago. It felt like a lifetime since then. Maybe her attitude had something to do with that.

“I was kind of hoping that we could find some alone time. I could sneak you into a movie.” That sweet smile was back and you had to avert your eyes. It was a cute idea but it also made your stomach drop.

“That’s probably not safe unless we’re the only ones in the theater.” The weight of your truth made your knees buckle. “Maybe after we figure this out.”

“I figured that’s what you’d say.” It was Kung Lao’s turn to look disappointed. “Maybe Liu is right to worry about you.” He slipped his arm around you again. “It’s going to be okay, Y/N.” Was it though? They really didn’t get it.

“I could explode with ink right now and you would be impaled.” You placed the clothing you’d picked up back on the shelf. Shopping didn’t seem so important anymore. Kung Lao cocked an eyebrow in surprise. “Those women walking behind us? Dead. The damage I’d do to the store and the employees would be irreparable. You’d be incapacitated if not dead. Who knows who else I’d hurt? I’d never forgive myself, Kung Lao. I don’t think anyone has really thought through the danger that I truly pose. Raiden seems to be the only one who gets it.” You didn’t like having this conversation with anyone, especially Kung Lao.

“Y/N… I…”

“Chen’s so busy teasing me about you and Liu that she forgets how dangerous this is. You… it’s sweet. You’re so confident that we’re going to figure this out and that we can handle whatever happens but one wrong move? And you’re dead.” You knew it was harsh to talk like that but you thought about it constantly. “You were confident about it in the arena too and look what happened, I…” You were upset and you didn’t want to be upset.

“Hey, hey…” Kung Lao placed his hand on your cheek to stop you from going on. Brow furrowed he pushed your hair away from your face. “Take a breath.” You did. It helped a little. He urged his hands to your shoulders and then down your arms. “I know all of that. I really do. I don’t mean to be dismissive… but I can’t help but think you have to take the risks. You can’t just hide away forever.”

“Am I hidden, Kung Lao? We are in… arguably the biggest city in the world. I’m here. Just… cut me some slack for being nervous. This is a new anxiety for me and I am learning to deal with it.”

“I don’t want you to stop living because of this. I want to make sure you still have fun.”

“I’m not worried about that! I’m not worried about having fun…” What did that have to do with anything?

“I know. And that worries me.” Kung Lao seemed exasperated. “This is so much stress and it’s going to eat you alive. Come on. Come with me.” He took your hand and started through the aisles.

“I’m shopping, Kung Lao.”

“It can wait.” He led you through the store and to the elevators. Pulling you inside, he pressed the button for the top floor. Your heart was suddenly racing. Kung Lao had been flirting on and off all day but this was different. You and Liu hadn’t drawn any lines in the sand about what you were but you knew she wanted to be with him. Don’t overthink it. That was all you had to do.

The elevator dinged and you walked onto the top floor that was filled with various appliances. Lao led you into the stairwell and you climbed the last staircase that led onto the roof. He pushed open the door and then walked with you to the edge of the building. A railing had been installed to keep people safe and there was a garden in dire need of watering. From there you could see much of the city. The air wasn’t exactly clear that day but it was still breathtaking. You hadn’t seen that much life in a long time. You leaned against the railing and watched the world below as it passed by. The wind howled that high up and whipped hair around.

“Everyone’s afraid of something. Every single one of those people down there.” Kung Lao had his arms folded on the railing, chin resting against them next to you.

“That’s true. But not everyone could kill the people they care about with the things that frighten them.”

“Maybe some can. Who are we to say?” He joked but then leaned up from where he’d rested his chin. “Y/N?”

“What, Lao?”

“I’ve been thinking and…” He hesitated but leaned one arm on the railing as he turned to face you.

“What is it?” You turned but felt your heart instantly leap into your throat. He took a step closer and towered over you. Panic. Sudden panic. Your first instinct was to stop him and tell him about Liu but nothing came out. The idea of hurting him was crippling. Part of you loved Kung Lao. You’d always loved him. You’d had a love affair without having ever been together. But this was different. He pushed your hair away from your face again, hand brushing gently down your cheek and then beneath your chin.

“You’re really special. You know that, right?”

That hadn’t been what you’d expected. What did he mean? And why?

“I’m sure that you feel as cursed as I tease you about being but… you’re special. Not everyone could handle the weight of what you’re dealing with. And not everyone would be responsible with it. Most people wouldn’t be, I think.” Kung Lao smiled. “Think of the kind of villain you could be. If you were to side with Outworld with this… insane power you have? The destruction that you’d be capable of… look, I’m not trying to convince you to do crimes, I’m just trying to say that you’re special. And you should know that.”

“Lao, I…” You furrowed your brow because through this whole thing you hadn’t thought of yourself as capable or special. But there Kung Lao was, rearranging everything in your head. How had he seen it but you hadn’t? Maybe you’d been given this gift and this curse for a reason. Maybe it was because you could handle it when others wouldn’t have been able to. His thumb brushed against your chin and then traced up your jaw. Okay, now he was going to try and kiss you. The mood was right but you kept thinking about Liu Kang and how deeply you’d fallen for him.

Then the door opened behind you.

Chen.

“Did you two really abandon me to have a romantic moment on the roof? Leaving me wandering the store in search of you for an hour?” She huffed and puffed but had several bags on her arm. She had enjoyed shopping at least. “I said to myself, I bet they’re on the roof. Having a romantic moment. Just had to sneak away. And here you are. Having a romantic moment. As predicted. Unbelievable.”

You took a step back and wiped your face, embarrassed. Kung Lao pulled off his hat, ran his fingers through his hair, and then replaced it again.

“Sorry. I got in my head. Needed to breathe.” Your face was red again.

“Sure, breathing is what that was.”

“I’m not sorry. Wish you’d been lost looking for us for a few more minutes.” Kung Lao sounded arrogant even as he slipped his arm around your shoulder and led you back toward the stairwell.

“Not at all surprising!” Chen called after you before joining you.

“Stop arguing. You’re making my head hurt.”

“But Y/N…”

“If you stop arguing, I will agree to get sushi.”

Chen and Kung Lao exchanged a glance and came to a silent agreement with a nod.

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat 2021 #kung lao #liu kang #liu kang x reader #fanfic #drabble #fluff #mk movie #arcana #female reader #reader insert #liu kang x you #drama #romance #fanfiction #ludi lin #max huang #liu kang/you #the oncoming storm #angst #firestorm #slow burn #mk kung lao #mk liu kang #mortal kombat fanfic #mk fanfic #mortal kombat fanfiction

[coldshrugs]

thank you for this blessed template, @possumsunshine. this was so fun and cute, i couldn't resist after seeing it on my dash 💗

pulled a couple of answers from oc asks i've done recently because oof this got long.

QUICK READ OF YOUR DETECTIVE

Name: alma greene

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bisexual

Love interest: mason

Best friend: felix but also nate

Main skill: science/tech

Secondary skill: people/psychology

Main personality trait: tied for impulsive and sarcastic

Secondary personality trait: stubborn

Why did they join the Wayhaven PD?: she’s not a detective, but science skills

Relationship with Rebecca: very close, even with absences, but waning

Relationship with Bobby: college friend, currently hates him

Verda or Tina?: both

Murphy bite?: wrist

Murphy’s fate?: at large, babyyy

Rescue LI or Rescue Sanja?: sanja

GENERAL

Name: alma eloise greene

Nickname: sweetheart/space girl by mason; sweetie by rebecca

Birthday: june 12th

Age: 29

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bisexual (demiromantic??)

Hair color: dark brown

Eye color: dark brown, nearly black

Height: 5’1”

Piercings: ears, former nostril piercings

Tattoos: a small snail on her right arm, super cartoony spaceship and tractor beam over the words “i want to believe” on the back of her left calf

Clothing Style: “modern” i guess, according to the game. tbh i usually describe it as “too old to be an e-girl but too cute to care.” bleached denim, dark plaid, graphic crop tops, black vans or converse, thigh-high tights, etc etc

Apartment Style: cozy. did she find it on the side of the road or goodwill or an estate sale? if not, it’s probably not in her apartment.

STATS

Personality:

Charming | Intimidating

Impulsive | Cautious

Sarcastic | Genuine

Friendly | Stoic

Easygoing | Stubborn

Traits:

Heart | Mind

Optimist | Pessimist

Team Player | Independent

Skills:

Main Skill: science/tech

Second Skill: people/psychology

By the Book | Bend the Rules

KEY DECISIONS

Reason for joining the Wayhaven PD: alma is wayhaven’s only forensic analyst because i refuse to let my black oc be a cop

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ in-game, she’s 100% there for her scientific prowess.

Murphy bite: Wrist | Neck | None

Murphy’s Fate: Captured | Escaped

Rescued: Love Interest | Sanja

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

Love Interest: mason

Why them?: on a meta level: oh no he’s hot

but alma’s reasoning is that he’s very upfront about what he wants in the beginning and she’s never been pursued in such a way. It’s a bit of a rush and an ego boost for her at first. but mason’s loyalty very quickly becomes the steadiness alma’s been missing for most of her life and she latches on to that. she’s not had someone so dependable around in… well, ever. and her physical attraction becomes emotional VERY quickly.

Bold, shy, or mixed?: shy until they sleep together, then a mix of bold and genuine afterward.

What were their first impressions of each other?:

alma on mason: thought he was super attractive but that was quickly pushed aside by “holy shit, this guy’s an ass.” she thinks he’s an uncooperative jerk that only cares about himself for quite a while, honestly. she asks him along for things she wants to do alone precisely because she thinks he’ll be the most likely to just stay out of her way. she’s surprised by his attitudes and opinions, and her incorrect assumptions about them, during those times.

mason on alma: would never, ever, ever admit that his first thought upon meeting Alma was simply “cute.” he quickly found parts of her to assess individually. those first few days were mostly spent appraising her physical attributes and watching her back when she needed it. mason did find her funny right away, but he wasn’t willing to trust someone new, regardless of that person being their handler’s daughter or not.

What do they find attractive about each other, mentally or physically?:

alma on mason: his eyes, freckles, and every single version of his smile. his decisiveness, differentially, and willingness to stab as a warning.

mason on alma: her hair tbh, there’s just… a lot of it. her hips, her eyelashes. He also likes her adaptability, sense of humor, and the warmth she gives with no expectation of reciprocation.

What do they do to spend time together?: lots of stargazing, lots of watching tv very quietly and making fun of the storylines they don’t understand until they get bored and make out instead, walking around the quieter parts of wayhaven or taking late-night drives.

What is their favorite memory together?: i like to think mason finds the carnival photo of them after the place has been sacked and gives it to alma sometime later. both the taking of the photo and the giving of it are very fond memories for both of them.

What are their love languages?: touch, quality time.

How do they handle being apart from one another?: badly. mason absolutely hates it after a time. if alma’s out of town, he’s in her apartment with the excuse of feeding her cat, but it’s 100% just to sleep in her bed and be around all the things that make her, her. alma does a little better. she’s used to having folks sort of come and go and come again, but she gets almost hyper-insecure?? it’s nothing she’d admit openly, but she’s second-guessing herself in totally unrelated aspects of her life until they’re reunited.

Do they argue? How do they handle arguments and disagreements? How do they make up?: they don’t necessarily argue, but they disagree with the intent to problem solve. alma is pretty flexible and as long as she can understand why someone might feel the way they feel, she’s willing to hear them out or go along with their plan. if an argument does get out of hand, they need space from it for a while. they each have places to retreat for those times, and they wait for the “hey” text to come through to know it’s time to talk about it.

What does their future look like?: alma becomes a vampire two years into their relationship. they move into a quiet, old house on the edge of town until the whole team moves elsewhere. mason has to get used to having a cat because october has several years left in him. they don’t get married, but they’re inseparable.

Anything else you’d like to share: in the time before alma turns, mason learns to perfect making grilled cheese because it’s what alma craves when she’s not feeling well. He makes the grilled cheese then he immediately showers to get the smell off him but he makes it regardless.

BEST FRIEND RELATIONSHIP

Best friend: depending on the playthrough it swaps between felix and nate, but felix feels more in character

Why them?: alma loves felix’s sense of adventure and nosiness. Most of all she loves that he won’t judge her for pulling the same shit every now and then.

What were their first impressions of each other?: alma was super thrown off by that hand kiss. “who the fuck is this mischief-maker?” while nate was very kind and warm, felix (surprisingly) was the UB teammate that really humanized the rest of the team for alma. he’s fun and genuine and wants everyone else to be happy together. felix was incredibly interested to learn more about alma, as a human, as his boss’s daughter, and then as a friend when she readily accepted the supernatural and, by extension, him as a vampire. The fact that she’s easily flustered or surprised really works in his favor because he lives for being the most shocking person in the room.

What do they do to spend time together?: they share music, they dance, and they text A LOT. lots of memes, lots of “what does [x] mean?” “oh nice” “[proceeds to use the thing they just learned incorrectly]”. they also compare and share hair products.

Anything else you’d like to share: they each have a tamagotchi named after the other (baby felix and baby alma) and they compete to see who can keep theirs alive the longest. everyone loses.

OTHER RELATIONSHIPS (Feel free to go in-depth!)

Relationship with Rebecca: oof okay. alma seeks rebecca’s approval and depends on her for a sense of safety and “stability.” in some ways, she wants to be exactly like her mom: strong, independent, unbothered, worldly. but a lot of that shatters the longer alma works professionally with rebecca and with the revelations surrounding rook. alma sees how much rebecca uses her as a crutch, projects her perceived failures onto alma’s life, and over-shelters her.

Relationship with Rook: alma doesn’t remember him and tries not to think of him often or fondly or at all BUT she has so many of his things. his flannels, his detective badge, his ancient comic book collection (which is the only reason she has her own). she has his eyes and his impulsive streak, his care for people of all varieties. she IS rook’s daughter and she ignores that fact so it doesn’t hurt her.

Relationship with Bobby: they used to be very close, slightly flirty friends but there’s no way in hell alma can trust him now. (i originally had bobby as alma’s ex but it was all getting a little too Bella Swan for me. like bobby, douglas, the werewolves, falk, and mason like????? it was a bit much so bobby’s just an old ex-friend)

Relationship with Verda: alma fucking loves verda. that’s her mentor, that’s her dad friend. she feels a sense of Pride and Accomplishment when she can make verda laugh or impress him in the lab, or both. alma’s fond of spending evenings over his place with eric and the kids, making dinner, or just hanging out.

Relationship with Tina: tina was alma’s first friend as a kid. they lost touch in high school because tina was bubbly and cute and popular, while alma was… not. but the summer before they left for college they ran into each other at a house party and since that reconnection, they’ve been thick as thieves. it was like nothing had changed. tina is a light in alma’s life, and alma lets tina lean into the stranger parts of herself without judgment.

Relationship with the Mayor: thinks he’s a creep and a bad parent.

Relationship with Capt. Sung: appreciates how he prioritizes the town and its people, but thinks he could loosen up a bit.

Relationship with Haley: haley is a couple of years older than alma but they’ve known each other forever. alma admires haley’s work ethic and cheery attitude.

Relationship with Elidor: oh man, alma is absolutely stunned by elidor. he’s beautiful, kind, and knowledgeable. in those early days, elidor is responsible for quite a bit of her supernatural education. alma grills him while he nurses her back to health. her curiosity is refreshing to him.

Relationship with Tapeesa/Vieno: alma thinks vieno is cute and funny, says hi when she sees them around, but they’re not best friends or anything. she can’t shake the thought that they’re basically a fae version of danny devito.

Relationship with Unit Alpha: absolutely smitten with lesedi. she’s never seen a more beautiful woman. tamiko ends up being a pretty good friend. the twins are on her social periphery but alma’s not close with them.

Relationship with the Maa-alused: alma sincerely wants to help them adjust to life in this world and takes that goal very seriously. at the same time she really really wishes falk hadn’t developed this weird attachment to her.

Do they have any other important relationships, past or present? (Relatives, friends, etc.?): YES. i’ve thrown another oc in wayhaven for the express purpose of being The Detective. His name is javi. alma met him in college and they were fast friends. alma convinced him to try out wayhaven after graduation. They lived together for a while and now they, along with tina, can often be seen in the corner booth of chen’s pub.

she was also very close with her maternal grandmother before she died. she was raised by her while rebecca was absent, but i need to develop this more.

her cat, october, whom she’s had for five years. he’s a sweet, mostly black tortie that can hardly meow. alma adopted him as an adult when she got her own place.

PERSONAL BIO

Describe their personality: alma is so open and ready to accept new possibilities. she’s the sort of person that embraces what scares her, finds beauty in it, and loves it intensely. she’s sharp and resourceful. i wouldn’t exactly describe her as hard-working, but she’s knowledgeable about her field and tries to be helpful when she has a goal in mind.

she’s quite tactile. touchy with other people. likes to use her hands for work or hobbies. she doesn’t really mind being alone for long stretches of time but would prefer not to be. she wants others to want to be around her.

she’s also terrible at being honest about her trauma. everything is fine, she’s fine, she doesn’t need to talk about this :) :) :) she will handle the breakdown when it happens and not one second before. also, with quick wit comes uncontrollable sarcasm and it does not always hit well.

Strengths: the only person in unit bravo that knows how to use google

Weaknesses: squishy

Where in the world is their Wayhaven?: super torn here because wayhaven feels inland to me, but i think i’ve finally settled on the north carolina coast but not like the outer banks area. If not there, then maybe virginia, closer to the chesapeake bay.

What is their personal history?: alma is born to rook and rebecca in wayhaven. spends her childhood being raised mostly by her grandmother, idolizes rebecca. academic success comes easily for her; a heavy interest in science leads to a scholarship at a university just far away enough to feel like she’s Leaving The Nest. alma dates a bit in college but she’s the type to end up becoming friends with everyone she sleeps with and romance is difficult for her to cultivate. when she does date, the relationships are short-lived. she returns to wayhaven after school and puts her degree to work in wayhaven’s police department. she wishes she’d applied for a position in the city but craves the comfort (and tbh, the low stakes) of home.

If they weren’t a detective, what would their dream job be?: she’s a forensic analyst and honestly?? it’s a pretty dreamy job for her. she loves being a scientist, loves helping people, and isn’t easily grossed out.

Anything else you’d like to share: has tried to stay overnight in an ikea. did not succeed.

RANDOM FACTS

Zodiac sign: gemini

Hobbies: reading peer-reviewed journals, watching terrible sci-fi, collecting comic books and mugs, thrift shopping

Likes: good hair days, denim jackets, vanilla candles, halloween, unflavored lipbalm, driving at night, that warm “surrounded by love” feeling, snails, fuzzy socks

Dislikes: the lights while driving at night, winter, dry skin, minimalist decor, smudged glasses, being overwhelmed with choices

Drink of choice: white wine usually, white russians if she’s out at chen’s, or shots of jaeger if she’s feeling trashy

Starbucks order: grande flat white with 3 pumps of toffee nut syrup and a sprinkle of cinnamon

Favorite food: a simple, fresh spaghetti pomodoro OR lemon meringue pie

Favorite color: golden mustard yellow

Favorite music: she loves just about everything and it’s heavily dependant on her mood. (this is actually really difficult to think about without feeling like i'm giving her my exact taste in music but here's a little playlist that fits her vibe)

Favorite genre (and favorite movie/book/etc): science fiction or psychological thrillers, but her favorite movie is oliver and company.

Favorite season: fall

Anything else you’d like to share: has a stupid amount of blankets stashed around her apartment. she really does not like being cold.

#alma greene #twc #i uhhh i spent a very long time on this and i'm still like #who is this person #but it's fine it's fine #i can rest

[chelsfic]

The Hot List, in which the NYC Familiar Discord Ranks their Masters - Nandor x Guillermo Fanfic (one-shot, crack!)

Summary: The familiars of New York City use Discord to connect and blow off steam...and also to rank their masters’ hotness. Nandor discovers this impertinence and throws an internet fit.

Tags: Crack with a touch of angst

A/N: I don’t know. 

---

NYC Familiar Chat #thirsty

Celeste-is-Best: nngh, have you guys seen Mr. 50ss’s’s’ss instagram story????

Celeste-is-Best: He’s so pretty! it’s like turn me, already!

Imurdad | colby: I know, right? I can’t believe he’s only 7 on the hot list…

[Gigi the great and sam teh pretty like this]

Gigi the great: Don’t forget to vote on this month’s poll!!

Best Hair!

We’re the ones who make them look pretty--but who’s the prettiest one of all? This month we’re voting on the NYC vampire with the best hair. Cast your vote!

A. Simon the Devious

B. Nandor the Relentless

C. Tilda

D. Evan

E. Houston

F. Nancy the Relentless

---

Guillermo locked his phone with a little smile. If he could he’d vote a hundred times for Nandor’s hair. It was unlikely that his master would win against the likes of Evan, Tilda and Nancy. He’d thrown Simon on there as a joke and was kind of horrified by how many familiars seemed to be into the limp mullet look. To each their own, he guessed.

On that note, it was almost nightfall and Nandor’s hair wasn’t going to brush itself. Guillermo made his way into the crypt, lighting candles and gathering the soft brush, comb, detangler spray and hair oils. Nandor was what he lovingly referred to as “high maintenance.” He was also surprisingly pitiful for a 750-year old warlord. It took Guillermo ages every night to carefully tease out and brush the knots from his hair without hurting him. It should’ve been annoying after so many years, but the chore remained one of the highlights of Guillermo’s day. 

For one thing, he got to touch his master without being scolded or hissed at. So that was nice. For another thing, Nandor’s hair was as soft as his personality was prickly. Guillermo would often drag out the task, running his fingers through the silky strands and lightly touching Nandor’s jaw to get him to tilt his head this way or that. 

He was doing just that, as well as admiring the expanse of cream and bronze skin revealed by the open collar of Nandor’s loose shirt, when the vampire opened his mouth. 

“Guillermooo...Did you happen to get any virgins for tonight?”

Guillermo’s fingers momentarily tightened around a hank of his master’s hair. He imagined giving it a sharp tug. He forced himself to loosen his grip and replied, “No, master, I’m sorry. Virgins are getting pretty thin on the ground lately. I managed to pick up a couple people from a bible study class, though. They should taste pretty innocent, right?”

Nandor made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat before answering, “You’d be surprised.”

---

NYC Familiar Chat #the-struggle

Gigi the great: I know we all jealously guard our sources, but I’ve been in a dry spell for a few weeks and my master is going to lose it and drink me one of these nights. Anyone have any new leads on virgins in the area?

Gigi the great: I’ve tried the usual stuff...LARPers, church socials, chastity clubs (surprisingly unhelpful…). I’m kinda desperate!

Direct Messages

Celeste-is-Best: only because you had my back last month when I ran out of burial sites…

Gigi the great: OMG! Celeste, please!! 🙏 🥺

Celeste-is-Best: there’s a magic the gathering tournament in brighton heights this weekend...😈

Gigi the great: You are like the virgin whisperer, Celeste. Thank you!

Celeste-is-Best: np

Celeste-is-Best: hey! Are you posting the poll results soon? I voted for Tilda--don’t tell Houston!! LOL

#main

Gigi the great: The results are in! The vampire with the best hair in NYC is……..EVAN!

Check out the Google Form for the full results...

docs.google.com...best_hair

Evan (26%)

Tilda (22%)

Nancy the Relentless (17%)

Simon the Devious (16%)

Nandor the Relentless (13%)

Houston (6%)

---

“What are you typing over there on your intelligent phone?”

Guillermo hurriedly tucked his phone away and looked up to find his master mopping blood from his mouth with a lace-trimmed handkerchief. They were in an alleyway a few buildings down from the comic shop. The limp body of Nandor’s victim lay discarded on the dirty ground. Guillermo smiled affectionately at Nandor trying and failing to clean himself. He took the hanky from him and set about doing the job himself. The snow white fabric was quickly drenched in dark red arterial blood. 

“I was just, um...checking on another potential virgin source,” he lied. 

The familiar Discord was strictly secret. If any of their masters ever found it and saw their human servants’ uncensored discussions... The thought sent a panicked tremor down Guillermo’s spine and he thought--for the thousandth time--that he should delete the app and not look back. But the idea of continuing with this emotionally draining, thankless job without his little support system was just as disturbing. Besides, the server had really come through for him tonight.

“Well done, Guillermo!” Nandor praised him and Guillermo’s heart swelled pathetically. A small, shameful part of him imagined Nandor patting him on the head and he didn’t hate it. “That was the most delicious virgin I’ve had in months!”

“Thank you, master,” Guillermo smiled sweetly, his cheeks dimpling. Nandor watched him for a long moment and he could swear he saw his master’s eyes linger on his mouth. He shut that thought down before it could bloom into a hope that was only doomed for disappointment. 

“Well…I’ll see you back at the house.” Nandor vanished before his eyes, taking his bat form and darting out of the alley with a high-pitched squeak and a furious flap of his leathery wings.

Guillermo sighed, looked at the broken body and wondered if he’d be able to fit his car down the narrow alley or if he’d have to drag the corpse to the opening. He fished out his keys and started the short walk back to his parking spot. All the while thinking, with distracted horror, Simon the Devious beat out Nandor for best hair?!? Really?

---

Direct Messages

Gigi the great: Hey, thanks! The Magic tournament was a hit!

Celeste-is-Best: i do live to serve…

Gigi the great: Har har.

#bitch-session

mish-bish: Ugh!!! Pretty sure my asshole master is hypnotizing me again.

call-me-karen: That’s rough, Misha! You wanna talk about it? My master lets me take the car whenever I want. I can come pick you up…

mish-bish: Yeah, like...I definitely have a huge black hole in my memories from last night. Fuck.

mish-bish: Oh, that’s ok Karen. Thanks.

Gigi the great: Hey @mish-bish. Sorry you’re having a hard time. If you feel up to it, check out the #support channel. A lot of other familiars have gone through this and talked about it there. Sometimes it helps to hear how others cope!

---

“Guillermo! Guillermoooo!”

Nandor’s panicked bellow reached him all the way in the basement where he was checking his lye supply. Guillermo huffed it up the stairs and raced into the fancy room where he found his master staring aghast at his laptop.

“Wh-what is it, master?” he asked, bent over and catching his breath.

“Someone named...Rap4Unlyfe has sent me a fake news!” Nandor wailed, gesturing to the laptop as if the device was personally responsible. 

Guillermo suppressed an eyeroll and walked over to sit beside his master. He watched in dismay as Nandor scooched farther down the couch but he tried not to let it sting too much. 

The browser was open to Nandor’s Hotmail account. He leaned forward to read the open message, unsure what to expect. The blood drained from his face as he read.

from: [email protected]

cc:  [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected] ...

subject: rofl bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah

yooooooooooooooooOO!

Has ne1 else seen there familiars on this site??? I hypnotized mine last nite to give me his phone password and...👀 

Mierda. There were two screenshots attached. One was the survey results page from the “best hair” poll. The other was an excerpt from the chat, specifically Guillermo posting the winner of the poll and the link to the results. 

Guillermo’s face fell into an adorably distressed frown. He darted a glance at Nandor but the vampire just looked confused. It wasn’t clear if he yet suspected that his own familiar might be “Gigi the great.”

“Huh…” Guillermo leaned back and smoothed his expression into one of untroubled amusement. “You’re right, looks like fake news. You should probably just ignore it.”

Nandor punched his fist into his thigh and snapped, “But Guillermo! I cannot let this go unanswered! This...this...ludicrous insult! Imagine...me losing a hair contest. Everyone knows I have the most beautiful hair!”

Guillermo blushed magnificently, “Of course, master! This is just...a prank. Someone playing a mean trick on you. You shouldn’t give them the satisfaction--”

The laptop chimed. Guillermo dove to prevent Nandor from reaching it but the vampire simply slapped him away with a petulant whine, “Give me that! Fucking guy…”

Nandor’s lips curled into a snarl as his eyes scanned over the screen. 

“Oh, no! Now they are making a mockery of me on the ether net!”

from: [email protected] 

cc: [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected]… 

subject: RE: rofl bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah

Oh! That is too delicious! Suck it, Houston and Nandor! 

It gets even better. Have you seen this, yet?

vamp_hot_list.doc 

“Guillermo, what is a hot list?” Nandor asked with a worried frown, clicking on the attachment. 

“No, master! Don’t--”

It was too late. He watched as his master’s eyes lit with understanding and then intrigue and finally outrage.

“29?! I am number 29 on your dirty hot vampire list!? What is the meaning of this?” Nandor bristled like an angry porcupine, his eyes shooting metaphorical quills into Guillermo’s soft flesh.

“It’s not my list, master!” he insisted and then, guiltily, “Not only mine…”

“Guillermo!” Nandor gasped, his eyes returning to the screen for a moment before pinning him with outraged accusation. “So, it is you!? You are...Gigi the great? Well, I do not think you are so great, little guy! In fact I think you’re pretty un-great right now! And disrespectful!”

Guillermo sank into the couch cushions, melting under his master’s ire and replying miserably, “It’s not as bad as it looks!”

Nandor turned back to the screen and began reading off names from the top of the list, “Viago! Nancy the Relentless! Evan! I suppose these are all vampires you’ve been dreaming of doing the hanky panky with! Putting them on the top of your list above your own master! That’s two demerits, Guillermo!”

“What!? No! Master, I didn’t make the list! We vote on it! Everyone gets a say. If I made the list of course you’d be at the top--”

Guillermo snapped his mouth shut. His face was on fire and he felt like crying. Nandor must have some inkling of his crush, right? After ten years of service? This couldn’t really be the life-ending mortification that it felt like. He waited, wide-eyed, for his master’s reaction. Nandor stared at him, his huge, dark eyes filled with shock and anger. After a long minute he turned back to the laptop, waving a hand dismissively in Guillermo’s face.

“Go to your room now, Guillermo! I need to think of how to punish this impertinence!”

Guillermo stood, barely holding in humiliated tears. He gestured to the device in Nandor’s lap, “My laptop…”

Nandor held it out of Guillermo’s reach and hissed, “No! Vampire only computer time, Guillermo!”

Guillermo left, trudging out of the room with a sinking feeling in his stomach as the sound of Nandor’s flop-wristed typing followed him out the door.

---

#main

Gigi the great: Is everyone okay?

call-me-karen: not fukcing great!

Imurdad | colby: Seriously! WTF!!?

Gigi the great is typing…

Guillermo lay on his little cot with the crocheted blanket his amá made for him pulled up to his chin. Tears streaked down his cheeks and the phone’s glare reflected in his glasses. He thought back to every off handed complaint, every silly photo turned into a “master-shaming” meme, every confession, every joke. All of them laid bare to the world. The Discord server started out as goofy, harmless fun. The hot list was the perfect embodiment of that. But it became so much more. Being a familiar could be lonely. You were isolated from other humans and surrounded by cold, uncaring monsters all the time. Guillermo loved Nandor. Everyone knew this...there were even memes about it on the server! But sometimes his master’s aloofness got to be too much and he needed to reach out to other humans who understood him! 

He threw his phone down onto the mattress, angrily pawing at his teary eyes and wondering if this was it. Not just the end of NYC Familiar Chat, but the end of Guillermo the Great, his long-dreamed-of vampire alias. There was no way Nandor would keep him as a familiar after this…

---

Direct Messages

Celeste-is-Best: OMG! Guillermo, have you seen this?

Celeste-is-Best: http://familiar-hot-list.colinrobinson.net

Celeste-is-Best: hey, if this is Nandor’s big revenge scheme I think you’re going to be ok

Celeste-is-Best: we miss you! 

---

Guillermo heard his master calling him and cringed. It had been a week since the hot list incident and Nandor had spent every waking moment making little jabs at his familiar and grousing about how he’d been betrayed on the internet. But to Guillermo’s surprisingly intense relief, he hadn’t been fired. After ten years of disappointment and hopeless pining, Guillermo half-expected to welcome the prospect of finally being put out of his misery, so to speak. He was kind of shocked, therefore, to feel happiness and gratitude that his master had decided to keep him around, even if only as a verbal punching bag.

He found Nandor in the library, smugly brandishing the purloined laptop. 

“Come have a look at your punishment, Guillermo,” Nandor patted the couch beside him. “This is what happens when you disrespect vampires on the ether net.”

Guillermo swallowed the lump in his throat and collapsed beside Nandor feeling like a man condemned. Their thighs pressed together but for once Nandor didn’t move away. He shoved the laptop at Guillermo and handed him a yellow sticky note with Colin Robinson’s handwriting on it.

“Colin Robinson has assisted in creating a webpage for your disgrace. We have done our own hot list! A familiar hot list. All of the New York vampires voted. So, now you can see how not nice it feels to have your hotness besmirched for all the world to see.”

Guillermo typed in the URL and blinked as the neon green background scorched his retinas. The page was a hideous callback to the internet of the late 1990s right down to the hit counter at the bottom. There was a border of pixelated dancing Draculas surrounding bright orange text.

NYC Familiar Hotness Ranking

1. Guillermo (Nandor the Relentless) - 19%

Guillermo looked at the screen, then over at Nandor, then back to the screen again.

“Master? Have you looked at the results yet?”

Nandor’s brow knit with confusion, “No, why? What does it say?”

He grabbed the laptop and squinted against the garish colors. Guillermo watched Nandor’s face carefully as he read the results. He looked surprised and almost...pleased at first, before giving in to his patented aggravation.

“Fucking Colin Robinson!”

---

New NYC Familiars Group! #welcome

Imurdad | colby: Hey @everyone! Welcome to the new Discord server. Guillermo has stepped down as a mod but he’ll still be around. We don’t have a perfect solution for the security problems we had with the last server. We’re asking everyone to be vigilant about hypnosis and if you feel like you’re losing time, please be sure to secure your phones/computers away from your masters….

---

to: [email protected]

from: [email protected]

subject: Something you might want to see…

Hey Nandoorman! How’s it hangin’?  

Listen, I’m sorry that your revenge didn’t go as planned. I noticed you’ve been a little short with Gizmo ever since this whole thing started. As someone who cares about my roomie, I want to advise you to knock it the hell off. Also, I don’t relish the thought of returning to the days before Gizmo came along. Do you even remember what the house used to look like? Pools of blood everywhere. Dead bodies. Melted candles all over the place...

I digress… I managed to snag this screenshot from Count Rapula. I think you may find it interesting.

Your pal,

Colin Robinson 

discord_gizmo.jpg

#confessions

Gigithegreat: Hey guys. This isn’t easy for me to share but I know I’m not the only one who’s dealt with this and if I can help one of you feel less alone then I’ll be glad. As most of you know, I recently “celebrated” my 10th anniversary as Nandor’s familiar. I was convinced, absolutely convinced, that my master was going to make me into a vampire. Well, once again it didn’t happen. He made me this weird portrait out of glitter instead. And the thing is...like, I should leave, right? He’s never going to turn me and that’s the basis for our whole arrangement. I serve him faithfully, he turns me into a vampire. It’s simple, right? So why am I still here? Why am I still burying bodies for him and making human sacrifices? Dressing and feeding him? Treating him like he’s some kind of god and not an ancient cranky baby?  It’s because I’m in love with him. Hopelessly, stupidly, self-destructively in love with my vampire master who thinks of me as nothing more than a really well-trained poodle who can talk. Why? WHY? Because he makes me laugh. Because he’s fiercely protective of his vampire family and (sometimes) that includes me. Because when we’re alone he can be so adorably, painfully vulnerable and it feels like a privilege that I get to witness that side of him. Because he does ridiculously stupid but considerate things like spending hours making me a glitter portrait. When he’s happy with me I feel like I could float and when he’s disappointed I feel like being swallowed up by a sinkhole. And, yeah, he’s also man-of-my-dreams outrageously hot and I cannot believe you cretins have him ranked #29 on the hot list. It’s a crime. 

Gigithegreat: So, yeah. That’s why I stay. I’m no longer hoping for a bite that will never happen. Now it’s a kiss, a hug, a touch, a look. Anything he’s willing to give me I’ll gladly hoard in my little closet-room along with my glitter portrait. Because I’m pathetic. That’s it. That’s the confession.

Imurdad | colby: Brave words, Guillermo. Hang in there, friend.

blood_princess: this is a mood

sam teh pretty: Sending you healing head scritches ❤️

Celeste-is-Best: look, i think i speak for us all when i say we need to see this glitter portrait!!!

[You’re Viewing Older Messages … Jump To Present? ￬]

---

Nandor looked uncharacteristically thoughtful while Guillermo readied him for sleep. The familiar guessed he was still angry that his little revenge plot had backfired. He couldn’t help but feel a little smug about his position as the hottest NYC familiar. Even if he was pretty sure it was mostly due to the other vampires messing with Nandor. Guillermo couldn’t really enjoy his victory, though, not with Nandor’s feelings of betrayal still weighing on his heart.

Nandor’s face was a stoic mask as Guillermo helped him undress. He cooperated listlessly, picking up his feet for Guillermo to remove his heavy boots, lifting his arms up over his head as Guillermo took off his brocade tunic. Finally, he placed his giant hand in Guillermo’s soft, small one and stepped up into his coffin. Guillermo stood by the side of the coffin as he always did, watching over Nandor with affection choking his throat. Nandor smoothed his hair down and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Sweet dreams, master,” Guillermo whispered, leaning across him to catch the lid of the coffin.

“Wait, Guillermo,” Nandor spoke without looking at him, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. “I wish to say something to you.”

Guillermo’s heart sank in his chest. Oh no...his stupid middle schooler revenge didn’t work and now he’s going to send me away… Tears pricked his eyes and he choked, “C-can’t it wait until tomorrow, master?”

“No. I must say this now,” Nandor responded, oblivious to his familiar’s internal drama. “I want to say to you that--and I think I’m being extremely gracious and lenient here--it is fine for you to have your little, pathetic familiar group on the dark internet.”

“O-oh,” Guillermo quickly swiped the tears from his eyes, “thank you, master…”

“But no more mee-mees, Guillermo! Master-shaming...very disrespectful!”

“Of course!” Guillermo laughed, delirious with relief. 

Nandor looked up at him with a final warning glance before softening, “Alright, then. As long as we are clear on that…”

There was a long beat of silence during which Guillermo found himself locked inside his master’s gaze. Nandor’s eyes were like pools of rich, melted chocolate. Guillermo imagined himself as the German kid from Willy Wonka and for a second he was in danger of breaking down into giggles. But then his master spoke in that soft, uncertain tone he only used when they were alone and he was feeling fragile.

“Guillermo...did you really vote for me to be the number one hottest vampire?” Nandor toyed with the buttons on his shirt and looked up at his familiar with a shy, open expression.

Guillermo’s cheeks burned and he wanted to laugh and hide and kiss his master on the mouth all at once.

“Yes, master, I did. You’re…” he cleared his throat and tightened his grip on the lip of the coffin, “so handsome, master. So beautiful...”

He watched his master’s chest expand with pride and his lips twitch into a haughty smirk. 

“That’s true, Guillermo. Good job for noticing,” Nandor praised him in a voice that was a little too loud. It rang with a false sense of self-assurance. After a few seconds he went on in a quieter tone, “Do you know, I--this is very silly, Guillermo, you mustn't tell anyone this--I voted for you, too. As the hottest familiar…”

Guillermo’s stomach did a little swoop and his lips curved into a blinding smile. His dumb, beautiful master thought he was attractive? Guillermo tried to reel himself in; he tried to remind himself that Nandor probably only voted for him to boost his own reputation. But--wait?--hadn’t the list been meant as a revenge against Guillermo? God, what a handsome idiot.

“Thank you, master,” Guillermo gushed and now he was certain that Nandor’s eyes strayed too long on his smiling lips and red, dimpled cheeks. 

“Alright then!” Nandor pulled the emergency break on the moment. “Time for my evil slumber. Night night, Guillermo!”

And in a slow motion moment that would feature in Guillermo’s dreams that night, Nandor reached up and put his hand over his. Nandor’s cool, smooth palm rubbed over the back of Guillermo’s warm hand and his fingers squeezed slightly. The breath rushed from Guillermo’s lungs and he could only squeak in reply, shutting his master into his coffin and moving away with a dazed smile on his face.

A muffled sound came from the coffin just as Guillermo reached the door to the crypt.

“...And I don’t think of you as a poodle…”

“What was that, master?” Guillermo called.

“Nothing, Guillermo!”

Guillermo shuffled off to his little room feeling like he was carrying a happy little flame inside his chest. For once he gave himself permission to hope without fearing disappointment.

---

New NYC Familiars Group! #thirsty

Celest-is-Best: SORRY NOT SORRY!!!! Simon can get it…

blood_princess: ummmm thirst after your own master, Celeste. Oops sorry she’s 12.

mish-bish: Lmaooo. Gross Celeste!

Celeste-is-Best: listen.

Celeste-is-Best: ...i got nothin. I want his evil dick.

…

Gigi the great: Please look respectfully at this photo I snuck of my master the other night. Do I really need to explain myself further???

Celeste-is-Best: that’s it. guillermo, ask nandor if he needs another familiar. my body is ready!

Gigi the great: Back off, bitch!!!!

Gigi the great: jk love u

Gigi the great: but srsly back off

#master-shaming

mish-bish: submitted without comment

[Imurdad | colby, Gigi the great, Sam teh Cat, and 6 others like this]

...

Gigi the great: 🙄🙄🙄

Gigi the great: I hate him I love him

#main

black-peterrr: ohohoho, has anyone talked to Guillermo lately…..?

black-peterrr: a little raven told me he and Nandor were seen HOLDING HANDS in the park the other night…

call-me-karen: WHATTTTTTTT

Celeste-is-Best: @Gigi the great, CONFIRM OR DENY!! GIIIIIGIIII!

Gigi the great: ……...I don’t kiss and tell 😉

Imurdad | colby pinned a post

Imurdad | colby: This is momentous.

#memes

Gigi the great: hot take…

Imurdad | colby: bahahaha, okay…

Imurdad | colby: 

Gigi the great: But have you considered…

Imurdad | colby: lol compelling

Call-me-karen: I mean…..👀

Celeste-is-Best: Ha...ha...ha…*sob*

Direct Messages

Celeste-is-Best: Gigi! we miss you! ur never online lately... 

Celeste-is-Best: too busy getting that ottoman empire dick, huhhh??

Gigi the great: OMG Celeste! You’re out of control!

Celeste-is-Best: that wasn’t a denial…

#main

Gigi the great: Hey guys...sorry I haven’t been active lately

Gigi the great: Quick update though....

GIgi the great:

blood_princess: OSDFJweoiflkdfaf omgggggg gggggiiiiiiigiigigig!!!!!!

Jameson: Holy shit, man. Congrats.

Celeste-is-Best: GuillerrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmooooooOooooO!O my baby! you look amazing!

call-me-karen: DO YOU NEED A FAMILIAR!!?!?!?!?

Celeste-is-Best: jesus, karen lol

blood_princess: my master is having an orgy right now. I just locked myself in the bathroom--I’M FREAKING OUT!! What is it like? IS that blood on your collar??? OMG how was ur first feeding?

Imurdad | colby: FAMILIARS ONLY, GUILLERMO!!

Imurdad | colby: I’m kidding. OMG I’m so happy for you! (And burning with jealous rage)

Celeste-is-Best: look how fucking happy Nandor is

Celeste-is-Best: i’ve been shipping you two from the beginning, Gigi!

Celeste-is-Best: …..hope you’re not going to forget who helped you out with those virgins last month…

---

“Guillermo!” Nandor’s voice was half whine, half growl. “It’s very difficult to sleep with that light filling the coffin! What are you doing anyway?”

The screen illuminated Guillermo’s grin as he answered, “Just posted that selfie we took to the familiar chat. They’re freaking out.”

Nandor turned onto his side, nuzzling his face into Guillermo’s neck and tickling him with his beard, “That’s nice. Sleepy time now, Guillermo.” 

“Yes, master,” Guillermo breathed and Nandor purred low in his chest. Some things had changed since becoming a vampire and others had stayed the same. Calling Nandor “master” had taken on a new, thrilling subtext.

Nandor’s arms snaked around Guillermo, tugging the smaller vampire into his chest. He let out a contented sigh and his body went still as he began to fall asleep.

“I guess I should probably leave the group,” Guillermo yawned--force of habit. “Since I’m not a familiar anymore.”

Nandor wrenched himself from sleep with the power of his own petulance, “Hey! What do you mean ‘not a familiar anymore’? Just because a guy gives his boyfriend the gift of eternal life he thinks he can quit being his familiar!? Who’s going to brush my hair?! ‘Not a familiar anymore’...fucking guy…”

#nandor x guillermo #guillermo x nandor #nandermo #wwdits #wwdits fanfic #nandor the relentless #guillermo de la cruz

[grandhotelabyss]

Combining audiovisual Monday with our literary and cultural trend forecasting interests here at Grand Hotel Abyss, let’s have a podcast. This one, Our Struggle, got written up in Vanity Fair as “wildly unpopular,” which, to those wise to the ways of the world, is code for “very exclusive” and “you know you want to be a part of it.” So let’s pursue the hype. The pod-concept is a slow buddy-read of the Knausgaardian opus, even though it’s no longer quite on trend; though, with the fashion cycle spinning faster and faster, it may also be old enough by now to serve as an object of nostalgia, hence, perhaps, the design choice to give our Norwegian Narcissus a #millennialpink tint. Our hosts, Lauren Teixeira and Drew Ohringer, as described in VF: 

The conversation never really ended. Last winter, after five years spent living in China and working as a freelance writer, Teixeira returned to the Washington, D.C. area, where she grew up. Feeling aimless and depressed, she texted her old friend, who was living in Iowa City, where he’d recently earned his MFA in fiction writing and was also unemployed, and suggested they start a podcast about Knausgaard’s books. They had next to zero literary connections, Knausgaard’s popularity had peaked about a decade ago, and neither of them was obsessed with him to the point of calling him their favorite writer—but why let any of that stop them?

I like that earning an MFA in Iowa City—that’s code for the Langley frontier outpost known as the Iowa Writer’s Workshop—counts as “zero literary connections” in Vanity Fair, not to mention the prestigious private liberal arts college! But, this petit-bourgeois would-be parvenu’s class resentments aside, and as antithetical to my tastes as it all sounds, I listened to a few episodes and did find much of interest. 

For one thing, their most recent guest was Dean Kissick, who is highly networked in the emergent literature-and-art subculture we sometimes check in on here, the so-far-nameless vanguard I take to manifest the pendular energies I first predicted in this 2019 post. More recently, as in yesterday, I described them on Goodreads, where I wrote a little about Tao Lin, speaking of trends, as “feral Zoomer youth reared on an exclusive media diet of Nick Land, anime, Internet porn, and conspiracy theories, a vanguard of vaguely anarcho-reactionary fashions now shocking but, given the pedigree of those busily adopting them, shortly to be mainstream”—though a lot of the thought leaders are not Zoomers, and I think Dean’s around my age. Note the part of his episode where he recommends the doyenne of the transgressive Zoomer scribes, whom we’ve discussed here before, though never by name.

But even more compelling is the episode linked above, which our Vanity Fair writer describes thusly:

So far, the only guest to outmaneuver the duo has been British literary critic Leo Robson, who stunned them into near silence with an hour-long tour de force that became the show’s most-downloaded episode, according to the hosts. He started with a “big data” presentation he’d compiled of every mention of Knausgaard in his 11 years of Google Chats, emails, and WhatsApp conversations. He then branched out into a breathless and hour-plus-long expiation on the Norwegian author’s singular gestalt, invoking the careers, philosophies, or names of writers David Shields, Ben Lerner, Sheila Heti, Harold Brodkey, J. G. Ballard, and Geoff Dyer (it always comes back to Dyer).

I don’t know what the fashionistas at VF think “expiation” means, not to be a pedantic dick, but even if they’d more comprehensibly said “expatiation,” it would still undersell Robson’s extraordinary speech, pretty much a complete history of the modern European and American novel organized around its generational transitions from form to formlessness and back again, with starring and heroic roles for Henry James and Iris Murdoch. 

(I was doubly impressed in that, as my loyal readers know, I wrote a doctoral dissertation on this very subject, even if my thesis might be read as an Oulipo-like contrivance to tell the first part of the story Robson tells without mentioning Henry James, which I justify with the contention that James’s influence, while eventually massive, wasn’t immediate—that Wilde really was more important to Joyce and Pater to Woolf. Also, I didn’t read any Iris Murdoch until after graduate school, but I wish I’d started sooner.) 

This command performance sent me to Robson’s back catalogue of criticism at The New Statesman, which as a sad non-subscriber I was only able to read with academic database access that I surprisingly still enjoy even though I’m not quite sure I’m currently employed (have I mentioned that you might please buy my books—the novels, not the erotic vampire comics?). His centenary essay on Murdoch condenses much of the history narrated orally above, complete with an extended comparison between Murdoch and Saul Bellow:

And Murdoch, though I doubt that either knew it, possessed a close mid-century companion, Saul Bellow, who was four years her senior and began publishing fiction a decade earlier. In a 1951 talk, he announced that the “great issue in fiction is the stature of characters”. Where Murdoch in 1961 called for “a renewed sense of the difficulty and complexity of the moral life and the opacity of persons”, Bellow the following year, in “Where Do We Go From Here? The Future of Fiction”, said that the novel “requires new ideas about humankind”.

We here at Grand Hotel Abyss, temporary home of The True Mainstream in Exile, are #murdochpilled and #bellowcore (sorry, is this too #cheugy?) and endorse the energetic and endlessly inventive realist novel against fashionable fantasy and autobiography.

Anyway, listen to Robson’s speech and listen to the pod to see what’s hip and hot in the literary world. It even inspired me to give Knausgaard another go (“Did you get Kool-Aided by that podcast you said you hated into reading that book?” my wife asked when she saw me reading A Death in the Family), about which more on the main site later this week, probably.

#karl ove knausgård #iris murdoch #saul bellow #leo robson #fiction #literature #literary criticism #dean kissick

[badass-at-fandoming]

In response to this post, @missn11 said:

yeahhh I wasn’t real fond of this comic either which is a shame since the art in this is pretty damned good but whoooo boy did they slip up on the story, since I found it confusing the first time I read this and couldn’t understand why Beckett embraced Marie! 😬 

Moving this to another post because the original one is a bit long, big agree!!! The art was solid, with surprisingly beautiful moments, and it carried the gritty Gothic/noir tone well. The story, however, was an awful lot of “excuse me, what the fuck.”

Re: Marie’s Embrace, I talked with @brightstorm98 about it when I first read this because I was ALSO expecting more out of this moment. The decision to Embrace a Nazi--to grant a fascist superpowers and let her run free to do what she will--is such a despicable one. AND Beckett swore he would never put someone through the trauma of Embrace. AND he hates the Gangrel practice of leaving a childe to fend for themself. Before this point in the unlife, he’d even given up a ghoul because he didn’t like how the blood bond eroded the person’s will! Embracing Marie snaps his long-held convictions and is a blow to his Humanity.

On a first read through of the comic, the reader struggles to take in all the little nuances ‘cause they’re so busy trying to figure out the where/what/why/when. There’s a definite element of shock value to the decision, on White Wolf’s part. Beckett is like...one of five dudes in the World of Darkness who players are actively encouraged to not view as evil. To have that character Embrace a Nazi is !!!!!!

It was only after, when I took in the comic as a whole and read The Victorian Trilogy that things fell into place. One of the reasons Beckett fell in love with Emma was her Humanity: she rejected any Vampire notion that compassion and love have no place in unlife. A major reason for her suicide is she couldn’t take the chance that someone would use her abilities for nefarious purposes again. She reminded Beckett what it was to be human, and he held her tight as she burned.

It makes perfect sense (and Brightstorm said this first and I agree with her), that after Emma’s death, Beckett’s Humanity sauntered slowly downward. So that night in Berlin, with Marie, a (relatively) low Humanity Beckett is incredibly stressed: his friend is dead, he’s taken 4 bombs to the face in the past like 5 minutes, and soldiers are marching in. This arrogant, hateful meat suit of a human is sassing him and there’s no way she’s giving him the puzzle box and there’s no time before sun up to secure her elsewhere for questioning (and she likely won’t break) and he’s warned her like x3 and she’s STILL not getting it and Beckett just...snaps.

Oh my god, this took 5 seconds to think and 30 minutes to type out. Eep.

#text post #cuthbert beckett #vtm marie #beckett comic #vtm #the victorian trilogy #emma blake

[werezmastarbucks]

Whitmore guy - the boy in a shirt with a bat

Part One

Part Two

Kai Parker x fem!Reader slowburn

whatever gifs I’m going to use on this one, I hope the creators are okay with that

The Mystic Falls team decide they want to get rid of Kai Parker for good - and in a way that would ensure he won’t be able to come back. Death is not secure enough this time, so they go with Malivore. Who knows what the poor bastard is doing down there, but six months later, a new guy comes to work at the college - and meets the reader seemingly for the first time.

word count: 2987 ish

warnings: none

music: blink-182 - down, blink-182 - always, green day - the last of the american girls; Y/N quotes don’t leave me by - you guessed it - blink-182

MAY

Y/N was almost done. Almost-almost done, and the clock was only showing half past seven. It’s still half an hour until full sunset, and she has every chance to wrap it up and go rush to the football field in the town, perch herself on the seats and watch.

It’s just that all the troubles of all the Whitmore students were hanging like dead weight on her, and realistically, if she worked all day, every day, with a five hour sleep, and a twenty minutes lunch break, Christmas included, she would finish reading and delegating all student complaints and applications by the year 2098.

She threw herself back in the chair and pressed her palms against her eyes, letting the green specks poke the darkness. Then she realized that the music she’s been hearing for the last hour wasn’t playing in her head – the sound has been coming from the outside world.

Y/N opened her eyes and listened. Yup, she was sure it was her own brain because nobody’s listened to that reeeally old stuff in years. There’s just nobody left in the whole state of Virginia who’s openly a blink-182 fan.

She jumped up from her chair excitedly, happiness striking in her head like a flare gun; somebody was listening to their song! At the college! Somewhere on the floor! And it wasn’t her!

Y/N left her office and walked down the quiet corridor, following the sound like a thread. What a song it was, too.

Tidal waves they rip right through me

Tears from eyes worn cold and sad

Pick me up now…

The epic teenage angst made you want to go get all the bad tattoos you could possibly spend your money on.

Y/N knew she loved that song some time ago, but couldn’t remember why. It pulled on a surprisingly sturdy thread in her heart and made it bleed in a second; like she was a teenager again, like she was on the verge of a breakdown, and the whole world was full of amazement and bursting, vivid sensations.

Y/N almost ran to the sound, holding her lip between her teeth and never noticing it. Her face was lit with anticipation as she paused in front of the door. Somebody was playing music in the gatherings hall, where the acoustics were crazy, and all the space all but welcomed all kinds of dancing, prancing and hopping. The song ended, and another started to play; and yet she knew it again.

It went like this:

I’ve been here before a few times,

And I’m quite aware we’re dying…

 Y/N pushed the door and it gave. She saw the hall, lit by all the lamps, although she was quite sure that the maintenance had already turned everything off except her office.

A guy was crouching on the floor next to the window, and a big sports bag was lying at his feet. Weird, he looked like a schoolboy, and the next second he stood up and she saw he was a young man. The guy didn’t seem to notice her at first, so Y/N had a couple of seconds to stare at the stranger. He was all jumpy, tall, boyish in a way; his dark hair was a little messed up, as he probably ruffled it with his hands; she’s never seen him here before. Being the welfare office worker, Y/N knew pretty much everyone in this huge place, - which was scary, by the way, - but this one was probably new. She couldn’t really place him neither with students nor with the staff. So she just placed him with the good music lovers. She already liked this dude. He was wearing a grey shirt with a stupid drawing of a cartoonish bat, green blood spilling out of its mouth. And Converses. Again, who still wears Converses in Whitmore or Mystic Falls?

He looked up, watching her for a second, and then waved his hand. They couldn’t really hear each other over the music, but the guy still said something. Y/N motioned towards his portable speaker which was spitting out the fast chords and energetic drumming. That was the best. That was the best song in the world, and she was almost sorry when the bat guy ran towards the speaker and turned the volume down.

“Hey- woah, I didn’t realize there was somebody alive here!” he exclaimed.

“Are you having a party?” she asked instead of a hello. They stared at each other for a mere second before letting out the air from their lungs.

“Does that bother you?”

“No way. I was drawn here like a rat by a flute. Man, I haven’t heard Blink on speakers or even on the radio, for ages”.

He smiled, and Y/N melted. The guy was approaching her slowly, walking like he owned the place. His smile was white, and his eyes, in contrast, seemed completely black, but, as he came closer, she saw they were dark blue. It’s just his pupils - so enlarged they covered almost everything, trying to devour his eye. He sure looked like he was high.

Something hit her, and backed off immediately. There was something about him, something weird, outlandish, not Mystic Falls at all, neither Whitmore, but hey. Everything in the closest vicinity of Mystic Falls is completely consumed by its spores. Everything was Mystic Falls color, the people, the nature, and the college; people spoke, walked and loved in such a way that you could tell they all come from the same place, full of scandals and vampires.

This dude, though. He looked a bit mad, Y/N reckoned, his wide smile never touched his dark eyes, and they shone with something that made her look just a little too long. He smelled like trouble. After all these years she’s been rubbing elbows with all kinds of bad, Y/N could tell who’s what. She could tell a beast when she met one. Vampires looked different to her, call it intuition or habit.

But this dude… he just looked different. He was like ink, like milk, like blood. His face looked perfect all-American beautiful, with lean triangle chin and strong jaw line. And yet, it was crooked somehow. He looked youthful, but the look about him said old. The fact that he was keeping silent a second too long, was standing an inch too close, looking at her too closely, all said trouble. It was blinding how quick she felt all that, in a flash, and against all odds, she smiled.

She didn’t know what he was.

“Ha, you’re staring”, he said, amused.

“Dude, I’m trying to remember if I’d seen you before”.

His sharp eyebrows, like two eagle wings, were drawn together in mocking concentration.

“Well. Have you?” There was an inviting smirk on his lips, showcasing two things: he had a very nice mouth. And. There was a reason enough to keep distance.

“No. I have excellent memory for faces”.

He shrugged like nothing in his easy, carefree life, mattered.

“Yeah, me neither. This is the first time my eyes are on you”.

“Wow”, she nodded, “you’re weird enough”.

“I’ve been said that”.

“How dangerous are you?”

“Uhm…” he pretended to ponder, poking his chin with his right index finger. Y/N saw a large steel ring on it, with a pretty, strange scattering of tiny dark dots. A very unusual marking, too, but she said nothing. He had a face of a TV star. She could very well picture him in a sitcom with a lame title like “My crazy family”, in which he would be the geeky, but sexy, smart oldest son of a little bit absent-minded parents.

“Like… eight out of fourteen. I’ve been to a camp once… it was a type of… you know, like a summer camp?”

Y/N found she had to actually focus to follow his thought. She looked straight at him attentively, feeling bright magenta giggle rising inside of her.

“Uh-huh. The Crystal Lake type? Or the Sleepaway Camp?”

“Get out!” he exclaimed, stretching his vowels. They laughed exactly at the moment for Billie Joe to yell about the Last of the American Girls.

“No, more like a concentration camp”, he offered, “but like, you’re alone there, so you have to do all the torturing yourself”.

“God’s sake, what kind of camp was it?”

“I literally just told you”, he replied with a pause, and his articulate face went blank. Y/N couldn’t hold off a sniff. She felt like she was a bit drunk, but that was more of overworking, late evening, lots of coffee and that everlasting feeling of despair one gets upon realizing that work will never end.

“Anyway, I learnt a lot of useful stuff there”, the boy said, “how to start a fire, how to make a knot, you know, the type you’re not getting out of, ever. A-and, like, how to make stakes out of sticks”.

Alert reddened Y/N skull from the inside. She tilted her head. Reading him was in vain. This dude was misty, he was shut off like a persona that’s uncrackable simply because it never really existed.

“What for?”

“Oh, you know, grilled sausages and stuff”.

She reprimanded herself silently for being a basket case. Yeah, sure. Grilled sausages, and only then – killing vampires; that’s how it works in the normal world.

“What about you?” he asked suddenly.

“Huh?”

“How dangerous are you?”

“Ow, extremely. I mean, look at me”.

She stretched out her arms, displaying herself (like a complete sellout, she thought. There goes the very first male who listens to Green Day and blink-182 and you’re already opening your ribcage for him, what a piece of work).

Diligently, the guy took a step back to get a better view. It was all very comical, with a very characteristic soundtrack.

“I am really looking, and I have thoughts. What exactly do you mean?”

“Small. Disproportional limbs. Frail muscles. Do you see? Very angry as a result. Very angry all my life. So, very dangerous”.

He smiled joyfully, wide, bright sparkles exploding in the dark of his eyes.

“I got it. Not gonna piss you off. Actually, I guess, since I’m new here, I should bond with the strong ones, right? I’ll be working as your computer guy. You need something fixed, so that you owe me a favor and don’t kill me when you get mad?”

Y/N scratched her temple, thinking if she needed anything in her laptop fixed. Ridiculously, there was something.

“Funny you should ask. I have the stupidest problem… I… what’s your name again?”

“Oh, my manners”, the guy sighed gravely, and outstretched his hand, “Mal. And you..?”

She considered his palm for a second before shaking it. A light buzz stung her which she barely noticed. Mal’s shirt was probably all synthetic fabric. She told him her name, and he gave a nod.

“Are you really an IT guy?”

“Why would I lie?” he asked, puzzled. He pointed behind his back, turning a little:

“You see that wall? I’m tearing out the old wiring right now. That’s why I’m here so late. Tomorrow you’re gonna have new wi-fi, with the dopest name and the password you’ll never guess”.

Y/N could instantly think of a thousand passwords that were puns for punk rock songs’ names. She abstained from vocalizing them all immediately.

“Alright then”.

“What stupid problem are you having? Have you tried to…” his eyebrows moved suggestively, like he was about to say something R-rated. “…you know?”

“Nah, it’s with the browser. The default search engine is Yahoo for some reason, and I hate Yahoo with burning passion… I’ve no idea how to make it Google again”.

“Are you for real?”

“Yeah. I’m the college sociologist, not a bloody programmer”.

Mal couldn’t help laughing. He headed for the doors, hopping a little in the rhythm of the song.

“Perhaps I made a mistake in detecting you as one of the leaders of this pride”, he mumbled, “where’s your office? You’re the sociologist here?”

Y/N followed him into the corridor.

“Yup”.

“What exactly does it mean?”

“If they need somebody to listen to how they’re closeted gays, I listen. If they need me to fill out the forms for their loans, I fill them out. If teachers had a party the night before and can’t come in now because they’re hungover, I come in instead and take their classes. If…”

“Gee, how much do they pay you for that?”

Y/N felt her face move, all parts of it separately. Just thinking about it was unnerving. But that’s the job she asked for. That’s the responsibility she’d grown into. She’d been a teacher herself for some time, and then got tired of the creative pressure of coming up with the new ways of explaining one thing every day; she thought this position would bring some diversity in her everyday thinking style. She was being silly. However, when she realized she was worked up, it also brought a strange taste of satisfaction in a way that she was giving all of her, and her conscience was clear. She explained all that to Mal. Then she pushed her door and they found themselves in her darkened office. The first pink flames of raspberry sunset were trying the sky.

“Damn it”, she swore, “I’m late for sunset again”. How the fuck long did she spend in the gatherings hall?!

“You like watching it?”

“Sure. It’s like the doorframe syndrome, have you heard about it?”

Mal smiled, sprinting to her laptop that’s been waiting for her on the desk, abandoned.

“Oh yeah”, he sneered, “I was just thinking about it, but then I entered this room and forgot”.

Y/N sat in the armchair on the opposite side of her desk, thinking to herself, he’s probably gonna die really soon. Like Brandon, the last interesting dude she’d met in Mystic Falls back when she was on the haul, working at the Grill. Brandon was the best bartender the place had ever seen in its prolonged history, and he was also very clearly interested in Y/N, too. They worked together a lot, and drank at night even more. They got to know each other pretty well, which made it even worse when someone came in, in the broad daylight, and broke his neck. Just when Y/N thought that the Mystic Falls curse has been lifted and normal people could feel safe. It’s been two years, or even more, since then, and now she sat there, cynical and certain, that such a cool dude like Mal wouldn’t last here long. The place consumes people like him – those who wake up her desire to live again.

“Oh-kay, I’ll just close all this porn here”, Mal looked at the screen. Y/N has been writing a report when she heard the music, and left the document open. “You wanna Google by default?”

“Yes”.

“Come here and learn while I’m alive”, Mal said solemnly, not noticing the look she gave him, stunned at the sinister coincidence of thinking.

She circled the desk and stood at his shoulder. Mal smelled of candy (literally this time), so sweet it was almost suffocating. Did he fucking rub it in his hair?! Y/N thought of tricksters casually, the Scandinavians like Loki, whose only downfall was in that extra sweet smell of all kinds of sugar poison that gave them away. Could Mal be a malevolent spirit, luring her into a trap? What’s he gonna do? Eat her insides?

“Are you looking?”

“Yes”.

“It’s two seconds. See?”

“Oh”.

Mal turned to her in her own armchair like he owned it and looked up without a shade of awkwardness.

“You seriously didn’t know how to do that? I don’t even need to be an IT specialist to be able to fix that”.

“What are you getting at?” Y/N barked defensively. She prided herself in not understanding anything about computers, like it made her old in a wise way.

“I gotta tell you before we kick it off – I have a girlfriend”.

Y/N digested it for a second.

“Oh, you smug face”, she spat out, “you think I’m hitting on you?”

“I mean…” his innocent-wild eyes acted very well.

“I don’t know shit about this computer crap, I thank God every day I manage to even turn it on…”

“You’re cool and very nice, but…”

“I don’t hit on people”, Y/N banged herself in the chest, “people hit on me”.

Mal puffed with laughter, still looking up.

“Okay, sorry. I’ve never met anyone like you. Quiet so… helpless”.

“There. Don’t you ever assume…”

“We’re gonna be friends though, right?”

Y/N shrugged.

“Sure. Emos gotta stick together, or else we commit unspeakable things. Now, get out of my office”.

“I prefer to think of myself as a broke-free treasure hunter, thank you very much”.

Mal was smiling like a cunning happy brat as he walked out of the door. He stopped half way, catching himself on the handle. Having crossed the line of the doorframe, he must have recalled something.

“What did you say about the sunsets? And the syndrome?”

“Oh, yeah”, Y/N uttered, propping herself back at the computer. She could feel evening migraine coming, together with the song blasting and echoing from the hall down the corridor. “When I see that, you know, the bloody pink when it’s just ending, I feel like I’m remembering something I’d forgotten. It’s a weird feeling. Kind of like a déjà vu backwards. You ever had that?”

Mal blinked, thinking. Seriously, this time. Looking at him, Y/N decided, that yes, they were going to be friends. He was making her feel something. Something good about all this job, and all that was in her past. All that she thought she outgrew. He was clear, black and white, sturdy, holding on to her door like he was keeping it in place.

“You have to have your head checked, Y/N. It might be terminal…”

“Get out, Mal. Don’t let my door hit your ass”.

“Jesus, you’re really obsessed with blink-182, aren’t you?”

Y/N felt no shame.

#kai parker #kai parker x reader #kai parker imagine #vampire diaries #imagine #whitmore guy

[lenawritesjojos]

Can I very humbly ask for a werewolf!Joseph x Vampire!female reader? Or just a werewolf!Joseph. Something fluffy? Slice of life type of thing? Thank you and love your blog!-💖

Hello and thank you!! I based this loosely on the famous Sarah Andersen comic, Fangs, which you can read here and I personally think is amazing :D

Unconventionality

Pairing: Werewolf!Joseph x Vampire!Fem!Reader

Word count: 439

SFW

You had met Joseph by chance; two non-human beings drawn to each other in strange ways. He had been attracted by your mysterious aura, while you had immediately picked up on his essence, almost smelling it from the distance. Of course, neither of you had been able to keep your real identities secret for more than five seconds after meeting each other.

As you kept knowing more about the werewolf that had just entered your life, you learned two things. One: he was way cleverer than he seemed. Two: he was a complete dumbass. You still liked him, anyways, and when he made the first move, there was no resistance from you.

The best part of your relationship, however, were the full moon nights and the days after them. While in wolf form, Joseph was exactly as affectionate as the rest of the time, and you found him completely adorable... even though you would not admit it. The following days, his senses were always three times as heightened, which always made things more fun.

“Stop staring at that squirrell.”

“I’m not staring at it.”

“Yes, you are.”

Joseph whined a little as you grabbed his arm and made him walk away from the small animal and in the shadow of some trees. Walking in the park was always nice and relaxing, but the bright sun could be a bit too much.

“You’re no fun.” He pouted, as a little child would. You chuckled dryly.

“I’m just keeping you from making a scene in front of everyone.”

Deep down, he knew you were right, but he wouldn’t admit it. However, his pouting didn’t usually last long, and soon enough he was jumping around again excitedly. You grinned when he wasn’t looking.

“Let’s just go, I can’t bear the sun today.” You finally complained, and Joseph surprisingly agreed. He usually loved to walk around the local park, meeting new animals, especially dogs, to which he could talk to - and which made for fun pranks towards their owners.

“You’re looking especially... vampiric today.” He grinned at you as you walked, even more when you rolled your eyes under the sunglasses.

“Must be the fangs.” You smirked, showing off the sharp teeth. Joseph arched one eyebrow, still grinning.

“Are you sure?”

He pulled you into a kiss that you gladly accepted. To anyone else, you two just looked like a normal young couple - sure, your long-sleeved clothing and umbrella were weird in the middle of August, but people didn’t usually care - but your relationship was much more than that.

Two supernatural beings, in love with one another. Somehow, it worked.

#joseph joestar #joseph joestar x reader #supernatural au #werewolf au #joseph joestar scenario #battle tendency #jjba #jjba au #jojo's bizarre adventure

[chocoholicannanymous]

Leap of Faith (BtVS)

Disclaimer: I own neither vampires nor Slayers, and the boy in my bed is most definitely not Spike. (I haven't read the comics, so anything revealed in them regarding Faith's family is ignored.)

The file for this was created March 2nd, 2014. The fact that it’s finally ready for posting... Yeah, it feels a bit unreal.

I owe my gratitude to @pterawaters and @wolfish-willow for giving this a read-through and me their opinions.

Leap of Faith

To say that inmate Faith Lehane – formerly known as Faith the Vampire Slayer – didn’t get a lot of visitors was an understatement. Angel showed up now and again, mostly when he felt especially redemptive, but that hadn’t happened in a while now. He was the only one – she didn’t exactly have a lot of friends. Family, well, she had even less of that, and what little she had? She wasn’t even a blip on their radar. However, she did have enemies, more than she could be bothered to count.

So when she was informed of a visitor that wasn’t Angel she didn’t know what to think. That the man in question had identified himself as Alexander Lehane, and claimed to be a distant cousin… Yeah, right. Her mom had been an only child, and her dad? Well, not only had he never been in the picture, he’d also not been the one to pass on that ‘Lehane’. So the chances of this guy really being a relative were slim, yet she wasn’t ready to completely rule it out. Even if it was a lot more likely that he was an assassin, or someone who simply wanted to gloat. Whatever, or whoever, he was, Faith was ready.

Turned out she wasn’t. The man on the other side of the window was named Alexander all right, only his last name wasn’t Lehane but Harris, as in Xander Harris – not-quite-card-carrying member of the Scoobies and friends with the other Slayer. That fact didn’t make her rule out the possibility of an assassination, nor that of gloating. They had been on less than good terms the last few times they’d met – mostly because of her. Still, maybe she’d get a chance of apologizing now. Xander had believed in her, had thought she could return to the ‘light’ side, and she’d repaid him by trying to choke him. Yeah, she owed him an apology alright.

“Hello Faith. You’re looking surprisingly good. I take it redemption’s working for you?”

She did a double take at his words, and then she looked at him again, closer, and this time she really saw. This wasn’t Xander. At least not the Xander she’d ‘known’, in place of a better phrase. This guy looked older, wiser, more self-assured and mature. Like he’d come into his own and knew exactly who he was. Not a change she’d have thought possible in the short time since she’d last seen him. Also, he was an eye short. No, something didn’t add up here.

Faith stayed silent and scrutinized the man – because this ‘Xander’ was obviously no longer a boy in any sense of the word. He could be an impostor; someone quite cleverly disguised who’d just missed. Or he could be something else entirely. In the end, she leaned towards that explanation, even though it was the most unlikely one. It was still the one that seemed to fit the best.

“You’re not quite the Xander I knew, are you?”

That was as diplomatic as she could make it. For a while she thought she’d blown it, that either Xander really had grown up this much, or that he was a fake, an assassin and now she’d alerted him, made him panic. Only he just chuckled.

“You’re good. Sure, you had the outward clues, but still. None of us was really sure you’d believe me. Still might not, but hey, this is a good start.”

And that began his rather outlandish explanation. He was Xander, even the Xander she’d met in Sunnydale, only from the future. Part of her wanted to balk at this, to laugh and call him a liar, yet… She was a Slayer, one of the Chosen Two (even if she’d done a lousy job). She killed vamps and demons, or at least she had done so before coming here, so who was she to scoff at the idea of time travel?

Apparently Sunnydale was experiencing another one of those pesky apocalypses the town was prone to, only this one carried more than the usual threat. ‘In short: Buffy dies to save the world, badness ensues and a few years from now we’re pretty much fucked because of it. And I don’t mean ‘we’ as in the Scoobies, I mean it as in humanity and the world.’

Unnecessary apocalypses, the Slayer-line being threatened, the world finding out about Slayers – and chauvinists and war-mongers all over freaking as a result… Not good.

Xander and a bunch of others – he carefully avoided mentioning names; was that so she wouldn't know who else died? – had tried just about everything. Now they were down to this: they wanted to try and change the events by bringing Faith into the equation.

At that she did laugh. She, save the world? She’d practically helped the people who wanted to end it before going to jail. And now, just because she was trying to make up at least a little bit for her crimes, they thought she could do the opposite? It was hilarious. Only, not so much apparently, ‘cause Xander sure as Hell wasn’t laughing. He looked dead serious.

“Look, Faith, I know it’s a lot to take in and I sure don’t blame you for doubting me. I wish I could give you the time to think about it, but we’re kinda running out of that. We need you, and we need you now. So, are you in or out?”

Faith thought about it. This was it. She knew getting out of jail would be as easy as getting in, at least for her. The walls surrounding her only held her because she let them. So that part wasn’t even up for debate. She could get out. The question was whether or not she should. She’d turned herself in because she’d become too dangerous. Did she trust herself enough to walk freely now? Did she want to help? If not, then B would die. Did that bother her? After all, they were talking about the girl who’d stabbed her in the gut and placed her in a hospital. The girl whose life she’d tried to steal. Did she care enough about B to try and stop her from dying?

And then it hit her. It didn’t matter. This wasn’t about B, wasn’t about her or Xander or anyone else she’d ever met. It was about the world. About being a Slayer in the truest form; to stand against the darkness. And when put like that, fuck, then she didn’t have a choice. This was something she had to do.

“Step away from the glass.” She kept her voice low, without emotion, and didn’t dare to give more warning than that.

Xander got the picture though, and moved quickly but yet without raising suspicion, and in the right direction. She had just enough time to notice he’d placed himself perfectly for what she had in mind, just as if he knew what it was. Then again, coming from the future, maybe he did. And then she broke the glass.

As she rushed towards the window, grabbing Xander on the way, Faith once more touched on the possibility that he’d known what she would do. He was perfectly placed. She twisted as they fell, making sure she’d take most of the hit – not because of sentimentality or wishes for redemption, or anything like that, but simply because it was the logical thing to do. Her Slayer constitution could handle the crash better than Xander’s strictly human one, her Slayer healing dealing with the rest. And well, Xander was the one who knew where the get-away car was (at least she hoped so) and who (again she hoped so) had a plan for getting out of LA without trouble.

Those were the only reasons that mattered. A small whisper that she didn’t want the one person who seemed to believe in her at the moment hurt… Well, that wasn’t logical. And thinking like that never seemed to get her anywhere.

Forty-five minutes, two cars and a change of clothes later Xander and Faith were safely on the highway to Sunnydale. Maybe now, Faith thought, there would be time for a longer explanation.

Xander didn't volunteer one though, choosing instead to drive in silence. Maybe it was reckless, but she was going to let him. For a while at least. She would enjoy that there were no walls around her, that she could feel the wind and smell the sun, and not hear much of anything. Things would get heavy soon enough any way.

“So.”

They were about halfway to Sunnydale, with no signs of being pursued, by the time Xander parked at a rest stop and pulled out a cooler. Once they both had food Xander looked her straight in the eyes, raised an eyebrow and gave her a crooked smile.

“What do you want to know?”

Faith took her time, thought about where to start, while chewing on a piece of sandwich and relishing in the simple luxury of eating something other than prison food.

“This apocalypse? What makes it so special? I mean, you guys have handled what? At least one or two a year for five years now, so what makes this one different from those? What do I need to know?”

Xander took a deep breath, the lines in his face hardening. Obviously this was a painful subject for him.

“First of all, normally? Buffy’s been the one to keep us together. This time she didn’t have that strength, and we were too stupid to lend it to her. Joyce dying hit us all hard, seeing as she acted a bit like a mother to us all, and since we were all grieving none of us actually stopped to think about how much worse it had to be for Buffy. Joyce wasn’t just her mom, she was Buffy’s connection to the world, the one whose love made her strong.”

And yeah, Faith could see that. She'd envied Buffy just about everything, from going to school to having a nice house, from Giles to the Scoobies, but most of all she'd envied her Joyce. Maybe Faith was nothing but trash, never to amount to anything – as she'd been told over and over again. Or maybe having a mom like Joyce would have changed everything.

She'd woken up in the middle of the night, her face wet from tears, after Angel had let it slip that Joyce had passed away.

“Second... Everything else we’ve come up against, it’s been ‘normal’ supernatural. Vamps, demons, magic... This time, however, well. Glory’s abnormal even by Sunnydale standards. She’s an actual Hell god, and if that wasn’t bad enough she’s evil enough that the Hell gods she shared her dimension with banished her,” this made Faith’s eyes widen, “oh, and also she’s crazy. Part of it is because they bound her here, inside a human. The magic used protect them both though, so the first time around we couldn’t ID the body acting as Glory’s prison. Turned out to be someone we sort of trusted. Not much, but enough for us to let our guard down. Ironically, the guy actually tried asking Buffy out.”

Faith shook her head. B really had no luck when it came to guys.

“So. Most of the time Glory was, well, wasn’t actually, and when she came out... She’s not your regular Big Bad, Faith. She’s a God. Buffy’s strong, but Glory? Glory swatted Buffy like Buffy does a fly.”

Now, that was scary. Some chick making Slayer strength seem like nothing?

“Damn.”

“Oh yes. Which, by the way, is pretty much what we’ll all be if she gets her way. Which just so happens to be a way back to Hell. Now, normally I wouldn't give a fuck – as far as I'm concerned she's their problem and they can have her back. Except it's not that easy.”

Of course it's not. Even if Faith isn't so sure she'd use the word easy when talking about opening a doorway to Hell.

“Thing is, the portal she opened went both ways, and the dimensions bled into each other. We're talking about actual Hell on earth here. Which as one of the people living here I'm going to say I'm definitely against. What I'm also against is how she opened that portal. See, when they kicked her out the other Hell gods locked up their dimension and threw away the key. Sort of. There were these monks, and some magic stuff, and hey presto! The Key's no longer a mystical ball of energy. Nope. Instead it's a human.”

Faith really really didn't like the sound of that.

“Which brings us to our final problem. The Key's human form is Dawn. And the portal is opened by her blood. Do I really have to explain how well Buffy takes that possibility?”

No. He didn't. He really didn't. What he did  have to do was stop the car so Faith could get out and pulverize a couple of trees instead of the car.

They ended up speeding a little to make up the lost time after, but even with the risk of being stopped by cops it was the better option. The stop had been necessary. Faith would survive the car wrecking because of her temper, but Xander might not. Also, they'd definitely never make it anywhere near on schedule (not that Faith knew what that looked like, she just recognized its existence) without a car.

Once they'd made up for their unscheduled break Xander slowed down to just under the speed limit and soon started talking again.

“Anyway, since we're all about the uncomfortable-ness right now, there's something I'd like to take up. Clear the air, maybe?

“This took me a while to figure out, but well, I had the time. Part of why everything happened the way it did back then, in Sunnydale with us and you and... everything.”

The Mayor, Faith’s inner voice supplied. She didn’t say it out loud though, and was grateful that Xander hadn’t either.

“It had just as much to do with us as it did with you. You might have noticed,” and the irony was obvious, “that we tended to compare you with Buffy pretty much all the time.”

Faith nodded. How could she not have noticed?

“But, and here’s the real irony of it all, we also kinda never wanted you to be like her.”

“Huh?”

“See... Willow saw Buffy as her best friend, the first girl to really be her friend. If you and Buffy were the same, that would have made you even more competition than you already were.

“To Giles Buffy wasn’t just his Slayer, she was the daughter of his heart. He didn’t want her to have to share that space with you, and if you’d been exactly like her... You get the picture, right?

“And then there was me. I thought Buffy was the ultimate woman – pretty, treating me like I mattered, and a superhero to boot. I compared everyone else to her. Then you came along, just as attractive and captivating – and totally different. And if you’d been another Buffy... Let’s just say I didn’t care for the idea of another superhottie seeing me as practically neutered. Buffy did that, without thinking about it, saw me as one of the girls – more or less – and it hurt. You on the other hand... Sure, you never cared about me they way I would have liked, but at least you noticed I was a guy.

“No matter what you saw that night as... It meant something to me. It taught me things. I really needed that. I would never have been strong enough to be the man behind you – I would have grown to resent your strength, and the fact that you’d always be the one saving me. But you’re still a good memory in there, Faith, a really good memory.”

Faith blushed, something she hadn’t done in forever. She’d fucked Xander to scratch an itch, had mocked him for thinking she gave a damn, had even tried to strangle him. And he still saw something good in her? Was he blind, or did he see deeper than anyone else?

She just sat there in silence.

Xander gave her that, just kept driving and gave her time, before finally breaking the quiet with a sigh.

“Look, Faith, I’m sorry to dump all of this on you, but we don’t have much time. At least I don't think we do. We were aiming to get me here in time to stop the Hellbitch early, but I have no idea if we succeeded. If we did, then great, but if we didn’t... Thing is, I’m having a bad feeling about our timing.”

His face said it all. If whoever “we” were had missed their aim, time-wise, then they might not be able to stop the events that made B die the first time.

“Okay. So what are we doing? What are you looking for?”

“A crashed RV – or well, preferably a not crashed one – full of Scoobies. See, we were going nowhere and Glory was picking us off one by one. Buffy couldn’t risk it any longer, couldn’t risk Dawn, so we got the hell out of Dodge in this joke of an RV. We figured Glory wouldn’t think to look for us like that. Only, we didn’t take into consideration that there were others after us as well.

“There was a bunch of crazy knights as well. No, really. We’re talking armor, swords, horses... The whole kit. Some sort of fucked-up order whose sole purpose was to make sure Glory never managed to open the gates to hell. Which, by the way, I agree with. I just don’t agree with how they went about things. See, they never tried to find a way to stop Glory. No. They concentrated all their efforts on finding the Key, and then on destroying it. They didn’t even change their minds when they found out the Key had been transferred into human form. Their general actually told Buffy to her face that it was their duty to kill her, kill Dawn.”

“And I can imagine how well B took that.”

Xander’s face turned grim again.

“She was about five seconds from crossing the ‘Don’t kill humans’ line.”

That hit home like nothing else. Buffy about to kill a human being?

“Fuck.”

“You’ve got that right. She hadn’t gotten the time and space to grieve for Joyce yet, Dawn’s life was on the line, Giles was badly wounded and the end of the world was just around the corner. Buffy was reaching her limit, fast. And then she made a mistake. A big one. She couldn’t have known, but still... Being Buffy of course she blamed herself. We talked the knights into allowing a medic – only the guy Buffy called turned out to be Glory’s little hiding place.

“The Hellbitch got away with Dawn and Buffy snapped. Maybe if she hadn’t things would have turned out differently. Maybe.

“Anyway. If this mojo worked properly we’ll find the RV before the knights do. In that case your job is to get Dawn in the car and away, no matter what. I mean it. If you have to run someone down to leave, do it.”

Faith felt like she’d been punched in the gut. She wanted to protest – she was reforming, killing another person was not on her to-do list. One look at Xander’s face kept her quiet. He meant it.

“I’m serious, Faith. Nothing is more important than getting Dawn to safety. I’ll take Buffy – but leave us if you have to. Just get Dawn somewhere safe for the next couple of days – there’s an envelope with instructions and such in the glove compartment – and then bring her back.”

“You’re staying?” That she had not expected. Wasn’t it like a big rule of time travel not to expose yourself?

“Yeah, best case scenario.” Oh. Obviously she asked that out loud.

“Only, if we can stop this now then that’s more important than anything else. That’s our main priority.”

She believed him. It was written all over his face, in hard lines and dark shadows; in the tense way he held his body and the grim tone of his voice. No sacrifice was too big if it led to stopping this now. He’d give his life, and hers, without a seconds doubt to prevent his future from happening. Faith realized she would let him.

When they spotted the broken-down RV Xander swore, loudly and well.

When they reached the place the Scoobies had used as a hide-out only to find it empty (except for the bodies) he was quiet instead, hardened into stone. The Xander she’d known had always been prepared to back Buffy up, no matter what, with his greatest value being that he always gave his everything and never gave up. This Xander was a force to be reckoned with, a warrior in his own right.

“Now what? You have some kinda plan?”

“Yeah. Not anything ultimate, but... We’re heading for Sunnydale, and splitting up. I have a demon to try and take out, see if that changes anything, and... I’m sorry, Faith, but if you fail, then I need to be hidden in reserve. There’s a Plan B. Don’t make me have to resort to that.”

Faith didn’t want to know what Plan B was. Something about Xander’s statement told her that it was only fractionally better than hell on earth – but that those fractions were enough. It sent shivers down her spine.

“And what am I doing?”

“Go to the Magic Box – Giles owns it now, and they will all be there. Talk Buffy into letting you help. It’ll be hard, I know, but you have to make her trust you enough for that. You need to get her alone, and...”

She focused hard as Xander told her when and where to find B alone, what arguments could be used to sway her and, surprisingly, what to tell Giles.

“He might do it anyway, he did back then, but we’re changing things. But there’s one thing we can’t change: Glory. If we stop her now she won’t just give up. She wants to go home and won’t care if her deadline’s passed. Hell, I can see her find a way out just to go for revenge.

“Buffy doesn’t want to admit this, because then she’ll have to admit that the only way to put a permanent stop to Glory is to kill the host-body. And seeing as he’s not only human but also someone she knows... It’s one thing to get so angry you almost cross the line, but to actually do it? Premeditated, in cold blood? She’s not capable of it. Giles, however, is.”

This startled Faith. Giles? No way!

“Yes way. Once upon a time, before he went all tweed, Giles lived a life of sex and drugs and rock ’n’ roll... and magic. He and his friends actually called forth some kind of demon. For fun. He was known as ‘the Ripper’ then, and no matter what he says some part of that is still left inside him. And ‘Ripper’ will know that there’s only one way to do this.”

Faith twisted in her seat and stared at Xander.

“And I get the privilege of telling him? Look, Xan, I’m gonna help, I really am, but this is starting to sound crazy. They hate me. They should hate me, all things considered. How the hell am I gonna talk any of them into this? Even if I manage to get B to agree, well, she’s not exactly known for standing up to Giles and her friends.”

“I know. Trust me, I know. But this time she will. We’re talking Dawn’s life here. She will turn her back on each and everyone of them – us – in order to save Dawn. She never forgot the pain of having to send Angel to hell. At this point of time we sort of knew that, but not really, you know? We sure as hell didn't understand how deep that still ran. If we had... It might have changed everything.

“Losing Dawn would make that pain seem like nothing, and even if no one else realizes it right now, Buffy knows it'll break her. Right now the only one with the guts to back her is Spike. She’ll accept your help – she has no alternative. She needs you now, Faith, like you can’t even imagine. She needs both her sisters.”

Faith sat in silence for a few minutes, thinking about Xander’s words. B needing her sisters, meaning her and Dawn. That felt so good, so right – but also not. The three of them – Buffy, Dawn and Faith – belonged together, she knew it, but... She shook her head. Time for that later. For now she needed to focus on the upcoming battle, on being a Slayer. Hopefully there would be time for being a sister after.

“So B’s teaming up with another vamp? Huh. Bet that’s making Giles real pissed off. I’m guessing adding me to the mix will make things even better. Sweet.”

The words lacked their usual enthusiasm though.

Hiding in the alley behind the Magic Box felt weird. Staying in hiding as a vamp attacked a teenager felt plain wrong. She had to though, had to leave this to B. Xander had been clear on that, even if he hadn't said why. Didn't matter. Faith knew that some things just had to happen in a certain way, no matter how small or insignificant they might seem.

So she waited, waited for B to appear and for her to turn the fanged idiot into a pile of dust. And then, after she'd revealed herself, she waited for B to make up her mind about what to do with her.

“Faith. Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” The hostility and suspicion was obvious in not only Buffy’s voice but also in the way she held herself, ready for an attack. That was actually painful. Understandable, sure, but still painful.

“Not really. Nowhere more important at least. Jail will be there tomorrow – unless the world ends tonight of course. I know about Dawn, and... Whoa!”

She took a few quick steps back to avoid the suddenly very dangerous blond.

“I’m here to help, B. Honestly. You might not think too highly of me, and I deserve that, but I actually like that kid. Always have. I’m not here to hurt her, I’m here to help you save her. Okay? Saving the world’s a bonus.”

“How do you know about Dawn? What do you know about Dawn?”

Faith didn’t make the mistake of thinking she was in the clear yet. Yeah, B might have backed down a bit, but she still held herself ready for battle. As a Slayer she had at least one stake on her, and as Faith well knew stakes killed humans just as well as vamps. Still, this was it. Do or die, so to speak.

“Kid sis got herself kidnapped by some crazy-ass Hellbitch who’s planning on opening the gates of Hell by using Dawn. And I’m guessing that by now Giles has started pushing for you to sacrifice her for some ‘greater good’, like with Angel. Calling her an ‘acceptable loss’ or some rubbish like that, saying she’s not human. Not real. I can kinda see where he’s coming from, being a Watcher and all that – but I don’t agree.

“Dawn’s not an acceptable loss, and I wanna help make sure she isn’t turned into one.

“As for how I know, well, I’ve been having these weird dreams. Like, you know, being on drugs. Except, I guess you wouldn’t know. Still. I’ve had them for a while, since, eh, the body-swap? At first I thought that was why, especially since they were really vague. Only, now I’m starting to think they might be Slayer Dreams – and I totally suck at them.”

Xander had suggested she use the Slayer Dream excuse, but since then something had clicked in Faith’s head? Those weird dreams? Yeah, they were real. And if they were Slayer-related, then it would explain a lot. Sure, she’d never had them before the coma – but that shouldn’t necessary mean anything. Maybe the coma had triggered something, awakened one part of her brain while the rest was “sleeping”? Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that she and B had been in each others bodies – could the capacity for Slayer Dreams had been transferred then? Whatever the reason though, the dreams were there and if they had been Dreams, then she had both explanations and clues.

She saw Buffy shake her head, and tried to find another way to convince her counterpart. Turned out it wasn’t necessary.

“It’s been five years now; me and Willow and Xander and Giles saving the world. Five years, and they’ve stood beside me for everything – even Angel turning evil. And now, now when I’m more lost than ever, who do I have on my side? Faith, the Slayer gone bad, and Spike, Slayer of Slayers. Irony much?”

Faith had to agree. She and Spike had both tried to kill B. Now they were trying to keep her alive – and sane. Life had a way of messing with you.

“Yeah. So, are you okay with me being here? If not, then I’ll go my own way, but...”

Two teams, working towards the same goal, but not cooperating? That was a sure way to chaos. Buffy seemed to think something similar, and nodded.

“Then I’m guessing you should go in there and warn them.”

She got pretty much the welcome she expected – that she figured she deserved – but only Giles tried to force her to leave. A private talk in the back room took care of that.

It was obvious Giles didn’t want her there. It was just as obvious Giles didn’t like what she had to say – he really didn’t like the fact that she brought up his Ripper-days. He shut up about her leaving though.

It felt so strange. She'd always felt like the odd one out in Sunnydale. Instead of it being her and B against “the forces of evil” it had been Giles and the Scoobies who'd faced the apocalypse, sorry, apocalypses, with B. Faith had, simply put, been the new girl in more ways than one and damn, had it chafed.

Here she was, for her first Sunnydale apocalypse, finally standing side by side with B. Only instead of the Scoobies standing strong like they'd always done before they were split. Giles might have been the only one stupid enough, or brave enough, to suggest killing Dawn, but it was obvious that he wasn't the only one thinking about it.

The only ones wholeheartedly on B's side, on Dawn's side, were her and Spike. Yeah. How's that for irony?

The battle was going on all around them and all that mattered was that Dawn's at the top of the tower. Not alone, either. Faith was just about to try and fight her way through the minions guarding the base and the stairs when they suddenly were thrown away by an unseen force.

Faith was running before she'd even finished processing what'd happened, and yet Spike was ahead of her. Didn't matter how or why, all that was important was that one of them reached Dawn in time. If they both did, better.

Except neither of them saw the minion scrambling on the outside until it threw itself at Spike, causing them both to fall. Faith cursed silently, but didn't stop running. It was down to her now. That was okay. It was, after all, why she was there.

The guy Glory had put on the tower with Dawn was nothing to take down – literally, as one punch had him flying off the ledge. Knowing what she did, of how it'd gone the first time, Faith was pretty sure she knew what Xander'd been up to. And yet, as easy as the minion was to take out, she was still too late.

Dawn's hand was covered in blood, and even though it could, technically have been the minions, from her fighting him, Faith just knew they weren't lucky enough for that. B might have been, but not her. And, judging from the way things had been going, probably not Dawn either.

And then, as if on cue, the sky rippled. Not much, easy to miss, but there. Glory's portal was opening.

Hell was coming.

Her mind flicked back to Giles talking about the consequences of the ritual starting, trying to justify killing Dawn, and then to B's response. “The last thing she'll see is me protecting her.” Only B's not here, and fuck, if Faith wasn't a lousy substitute. Once again she felt like the lesser Slayer, the budget version, the almost-but-not-quite good enough one. It was supposed to be B here.

And that thought shook her out of her spiral. Yeah, it was supposed to be Buffy. Only that was why Faith was here, so B wouldn't. So the world wouldn't be saved from Glory just to get fucked up anyway.

The weight of it all rested heavily on Faith's shoulders. This was it. This was her time to step up and be the best that she could. She'd been Chosen for a reason, Chosen over hundreds of other potential Slayers, and this was when she had to prove that the universe hadn't fucked up in that.

She just didn't have a clue how.

Well. Step one had to be to send Dawn down, to the Scoobies and to Buffy. Whatever happened, B would keep little sis safe.

Wait.

There was something about that phrase, about calling Dawn “little sis” that made her... It was almost like a memory. She focused with everything in her, despite feeling like she was wasting precious moments, chased the tail of something until she reached a hazy memory, like the ones left by Slayer dreams. Her and B, making a bed in what she was almost sure was Dawn's bedroom, her own voice... “Little sis coming.”

 Then, on the heels of that, an actual memory. B telling them that Dawn was more than her sister. That the monks had made Dawn from her. Then another, of Xander talking about Dawn searching for her second parent, and... and... and... And then, a book she'd read in prison.

And suddenly it all seemed so clear. Just as it must have for B. That explained why B had died, didn't it? Just as it explained why Faith had been needed.

It explained everything.

“Faith!”

Dawn's scream ripped her out of her thoughts, and the Slayer looked around. The ripple was back, and it'd brought friends. Lots of them. And was that a flying lizard? They were running out of time.

“Listen to me, okay? Get down, and find B. Or Spike. Find one of them, and stay safe. I'm going to fix this.”

“How? Faith? How do you fix this?” Dawn was panicking, and Faith wasn't good with that. You couldn't punch panic, as she'd learned. She had to try though, because as it looked Dawn would fall off and break her damned neck before she reached the ground, and wouldn't that just be peachy?

“Listen to me. This is what I do, okay. I know I've been shit at showing it, but I'm a Slayer, and this. Is. What. I. Do. Stand against the forces of evil and all that. You? You stay safe. That's your job, and it's just as important. U-uh, no protests. I need you to be on the ground and safe so I can focus on what I need to do here. B needs you to be safe because otherwise it'll break her. Alright? That's a good girl.

“Now go. As fast as you can, while still being safe.”

“Thank you, Faith.” Then the teenage girl ran down the stairs.

Faith on the other hand went in the opposite direction, walking slowly out on the ledge until she stood in the same spot Dawn had occupied earlier. She took a few deep breaths to steady herself. After all, the world rested on her shoulders. So this was how B felt all the time.

So. Everything pointed to Dawn having two mummies, her being created from not one but two Slayers. That meant that Faith’s blood would also get the job done. All she had to do was jump.

Buffy would do it, easily  – sacrifice her life to save the world and her little sister. That was just the Buffy Summers way of doing things. Faith didn’t know about the world. She still didn’t feel that connection, that responsibility. But for Dawn? She thought about the terrified teenage girl she'd sent running and felt the connection to her. This girl belonged to Faith; there was no other way to describe it. She knew, just like she sometimes just knew things about demons, vamps and Slaying. Screw the world, Faith thought, but her, her I’ll die for. And she guessed that might just be enough.

She took a minute to focus completely on her task. When she was done she embodied her name. Ironically, here at the end for the first time ever she was Faith.

She took another step closer to the edge, and then took her leap.

Falling free felt like being loved.

~ The End ~

End note: The book Faith is thinking about is “Blue Genes” by Val McDermid, from her Kate Brannigan series and I very much recommend it.

#chocoholic fics #btvs #faith lehane #episode revamp #the scoobies

[gothamdetected-a]

multiverse.

i know what you’re thinking. sim are you absolutely fucking insane, don’t even TRY to tackle this one. you’re right i am insane. and yes i am still going to try and tackle a meta about DC multiverses HOWEVER, to give myself on shred of sanity on this treacherous journey, i will say that this is mainly going to be about the multiverse from a bruce perspective. this ride is a batman focused train i’m afraid. also i want to state that this is by no means a perfect explanation – i’m a) trying to keep it simple and b) still am lost on parts of the timeline myself so. its what i can offer.

ok so, originally NCP, or the national comics publication (who will one day become DC), wrote their golden age heroes on an earth now designated as earth-2. in the 30s, just before the war, comic books absolutely exploded as a media format, and a bunch of companies all jumped the gun on creating superheroes. many of DCs most endearing and recognisable heroes were created all the way back then, however many of them also are not quite who you will recognise as the character today. hal jordan wasn’t green lantern, but was instead a man called alan scott, jay garrick was the flash instead of barry allen etc etc. don’t worry though! batman is still batman, and has been bruce wayne since 1939. earth-2 batman, as he will come to be known, is a bright kind of guy found on technicolour pages with a cute lil robin by his side – there is a reason for this. the war. literally NCP said we cant be sending out dark and gritty comics to people dying in trenches so time to make it colourful and faintly ridiculous, and bruce wayne is a surprisingly optimistic guy for a man who watched his parents be slaughtered in front of him.

of course, by the 60s, NCP (who are also sort of known as NPP and really known by your average joe as superman-dc, based on their most successful comic runs) had realised their timelines were getting a bit squiggly for their golden age heroes, and most of them had been replaced out by their silver age counterparts anyway. so between 1961 and 1963, NCP start creating another “earth”, officially designated earth-1, which would become their main planet for all kinds of superhero shenanigans. the justice society of america becomes the justice league of america, and when you think of batman, you’re probably thinking of earth-1 batman. at least pre crisis. and, once they get taste for building whole new earths, we also get earth-3 (1964), or “opposite world”, where the good guys are bad guys, and batman is owlman and instead of the jla we have the crime syndicate of america.  

so sim, what other earths did dc come up with? well, i literally refuse to list them all because it was a multiverse and they did not slow down, but the ones that are most important to me are earth-5 where the only hero to live on this planet is bruce wayne/batman, and earth-89 where lois marries bruce instead of clark ahAHAHHAA. but i can tell you that pre-crisis there are 91 designated earths, and basically it could have gone on forever. there was an earth-c minus, earth-124.1, an earth where everyone was reptiles, honestly it was a MESS. and therein lies the problem.

now i’ve just used the term “pre-crisis”. what’s that, sim? maybe you’re not very familiar with comics, or with the recent dctv version of said comics, and so i will endeavour to explain one of the most brain numbing storylines that spans DC. also known as a retcon. see all these earths with their own histories and heroes and well everything really was becoming very inconvenient and meant a lot of world jumping and who can interact with who and everything was getting like spaghetti because they couldn’t calm down on the earth-building. so DC (who are officially DC at this point, 1977 babeyy), specifically a guy called marv wolfman (coolest name ever) who was sick of so many earths, comes up with the bright idea that will later form into a comic run called crisis on infinite earths (1985-1986). it was a serious crossover event, really considered by many to be the first of its kind. it sold extremely well, boosting dc’s flagging sales against it’s biggest rival, marvel. and as for the plot, it’s a bit convoluted but essentially some bloke turns up and starts to destroy all these worlds, and it becomes a race between the heroes and villains as to who can save/conquer the remaining earths that are left. although there are crises before and after this specific run, pre-crisis basically always refers to this particular crisis event, as it really shaped DC for the next 30 years.

for a while the retcon does an okay job of keeping the number of earths low. there’s still some earths that are considered non-continuous floating around, but mainly there’s just earth-1, which is now a merger of the most important “earths” that existed pre-crisis, and a way for all of DCs heroes to now be in one place and interact with each other. other earths at this point include;

earth-23 (1986) – a small pocket dimension

earth-17 (1990) – we don’t talk about this. honestly spare yourself and. don’t look. its horrific.

earth-27 (1990) – a historically divergent planet with a hero actually called vegetable man.

earth-85 (1987) – a hodgepodge of post-crisis characters live here, chillin

earth-988 (1990) – superboy is the only hero in this universe

the antimatter universe – all of pre-crisis’ earth-3 villains, including owlman, get shoved here for later use when dc need a couple of villains to come back.

and for a while all is well. then comes DC elseworlds (1989). which. you know. i love. it gave me victorian batman. pirate batman. caveman batman. vampire batman. frankenstein batman. terrorist batman fighting against russian!superman. they even gave me marvel crossovers, with captain america meeting batman. it was a glorious time. technically elseworlds is not considered canon, ran outside of canon as a way for writers to explore those wacky kind of worlds lost to the crisis, which is dumb because some of the plot lines are both hilarious and incredible. but the numbers started to get ridiculous again. most elseworlds are named after the year that the plot takes place in, so we get earth-1889, earth-1938 etc, but even more of them just seem to have random designations. i think by the time they reached earth-5050 they sort of knew that theyd fucked up again. we’ve had zero hour, we’ve got hypertime and kingdom come, and besides, its been a while since they had a good crossover, so by the time 2005 rolls around its time for crisis pt 2 (because dc love to use the word crisis for crossovers) or as it’s officially known infinite crisis. infinite crisis has an even more confusing plot involving a bunch of slightly nuts versions of characters escaping a pocket dimension, earths being created and then merged, and a rogue ai which batman made and then has to destroy because his own creation becomes too powerful etc etc. the only good thing to come out of it was earth-0, or bizarro world, because bizarro & batzarro are my babies. don’t worry though, this new set of earths won’t last long either, as in 2008 DC conclude their trilogy of crises with final crisis that featured one of the most important events in batman’s history – darkseid “killing” him. yes the quotations are important. i’ll leave you to infer what they mean.

so 3 crises later and everything is still just as messy as they’ve ever been and there’s 60 years worth of comic history being tangled about, and marvel had already established a very successful reboot in 2000, and anything marvel do, we can do better, so DC do their first, full and proper reboot. unlike retcons before it, which is where they retroactively try to fix what people already know and simplify timelines & earths, this is like someone shaking the etch-a-sketch and starting fresh. back in infinite crisis an arbitrary number was assigned to how many “earths” there could be – 52. and so in 2011, DC go hey that’s neat and create what becomes known as the new- or nu-52. heroes are given shiny new backstories, everything is streamlined and wonderful, sales rise, DC has a clean slate to build off again.

ha.

yeah that doesn’t happen.

this reboot, also known as flashpoint, due to it being spawned from another big ol’ crossover of the same name, shows barry allen trapped in an alternate universe where everything is not quite right – his mother is alive, superman is nowhere to be found and he doesn’t have his powers. worst of all thomas wayne is batman. yeah, batman’s dad is batman. thanks DC, i hate it. reverse-flash has tried to change history and stop the jla from ever being formed – le gasp. barry goes to fix it, merges three universes together – earth-0, which isn’t a bizarro world but now the “main" earth, also called new earth or prime earth (DC), earth-13 (vertigo) and earth-50 (wildstorm), but also causes 10 years to be “lost” to these characters. there are now 52 brand spanking new earths, each sitting in their own universe as part of the multiverse. no one remembers anything except barry. even for a reboot and convergence of DC’s franchises, it’s messy as fuck. and it goes to shit very very quickly. people don’t really like n-52. DC have cancelled everything, certain characters such as cassandra cain-wayne are fucking ERASED from existence, no one likes the new costume designs, its an absolute shit show and the plots get very confusing very quickly.

so what do DC do?

they reboot again. sigh.

only 5 years after the mess of nu-52, they produce DC rebirth, a new relaunch of all their famous runs. brainiac does some magic and collects a bunch of worlds together and magically we’re all going to forget the last 5 years of comic hell. it is a reboot to retcon flashpoint as though that never happened. yes, DC are actually retconning their own reboots. talk about sweeping it under the carpet. technically “rebirth” only ran for a year as a promotional thing for the reboot, before joining with the larger, now-singular DC universe, however everyone still calls it rebirth because if we don’t give these things names it will get even more fucking confusing than it already is. rebirth also still has 52 universes making up the DC multiverse, just to make things even more simple and easy to understand (DC what is it with 52. why 52.) although lots of the earths in this multiverse have been re-designated – eg. pre-crisis earth-31 was home to an aged batman who fakes his death to go train a bunch of new vigilantes (the dark knight returns), and now 31 is an apocalyptic wasteland or some shite. a lot of these earths were re-designated during the flashpoint/nu-52 era, and even though rebirth was supposed to erase that, DC have decided never mind we’ll keep it. there’s also 7 mysteriously undesignated earths – ooh spooky, they definitely won’t feature in the next major crossover. also for a multiverse with 52 universes, they sure do have more than 52 : there’s the microverse, a bunch of universes collectively called “the sphere of the gods” where apokalips and like, literal heaven & hell exist, an innerverse???, dreamworld, limbo, DC are taking the piss they only said there were 52 earths but that means they can make as many other shitty dimensions and pocket-universes as they please apparently. don’t even get me started on the source wall. for the most part the writers just. don’t acknowledge this and stick to the main prime earth. for the most part. thanks for throwing thomas wayne as batman back into the mix, rebirth.

so that’s the last of it, right sim? eh, almost. it should have been the last of it, really. and then geoff johns couldn't keep his mouth shut and produced possibly the worst comic in recent history, if not ever, doomsday clock. now doomsday clock is a nightmare for an impossibly long list of reasons that i won’t get into here because this isn’t a rant about why i think doomsday clock is the worst thing to ever happen to dc (although that’s a catchy title i should use that some day) - no, the reason i bring up doomsday clock is because. oh my god even saying this makes me sad. doomsday clock proves that the pre-crisis universes still exist and are still out there. somewhere. canonically. sim why is that sad i thought you liked everything pre-52. it’s sad because it means at any point now, DC could bring them back, ruin their own legacy, make everything even more confusing than it already is. i love pre-52 stuff but you gotta leave it alone. currently doomsday clock has only established that these universes exist as a way to honour every era of superman, because DC didn’t want to completly erase some of the incredible work and storylines put into him as a character. fine, fair enough. but it does leave the possibility that they will try and return to them too. comic book writers love doing funky story lines like that. they think they need to write something that’s never been done before and instead of coming up with something actually unique, they just poke around in the multiverse WHICH IS HOW WE ENDED UP WITH THIS AS A PROBLEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

ahem.

hopefully this helped clarify some stuff for people, especially those folks who aren’t big comic fans/expereience dc through the DCEU or DCTV, when encountering rpers who say they base their characterisation off of, for example pre-n52/flashpoint comics, like myself.

oh, and thank you for coming to my ted sim talk.

#i dont know if i can put this as a meta #its just me ranting again #hm #\system\directory\hidden.txt ›› META #long post /

[lady-olive-oil]

Halloween Bash

A/N: Hey y’all! This is gonna be chapter 7.2 leading up to chapter 8. I’ve been meaning to get this out and it’s a day late🤣but hey it’s out! Let’s get into it! Oh! And make sure to read Lore Olympus on Webtoon!

Warnings: blood, gore (spooky right?)

Word count: 3,111

Tag Squad: @maddiestundentwritergaines @themyscxiras @designerwriterchic @honeychicana @crushed-pink-petals @dc41896 @chaneajoyyy @titty-teetee @ljstraightnochaser @mimigemrose @fumbling-fanfics @madamslayyy @amelatonin @screamingdrago @breddiefrooks @ellixthea __________

Two weeks after Florian’s birthday, some would say I had a break from planning. No that is a lie, I have several things to do. With Halloween Bash coming up: graduation, Cynthia and John’s wedding and trying to figure out when Florian and I were going to move everything was a blur.

Yes we’re moving in together and we haven’t told anyone yet. He practically lives with me now in my barely manageable condo, but we make due with what we have once he’s finally ready to pick a city to stay with me. I’m ready to move to either Atlanta or LA, at most.

Last minute touches on my costume, Persephone from Lore Olympus on Webtoon, I had to make sure my pink wig and black dress were presentable. The black spiked crown on my head was a pretty durable headband, which presented me as the queen of the underworld. The different shades of pink from Mehron body paint, made my body look like a decedent piece of strawberry laffy taffy.

“Is Hades ready to go? We gotta meet the folks at the venue, the planner picked an old mansion.”

The lipstick I picked was a subtle dark pink, but doable. Grabbing my heels and my black clutch, I saw my giant bear struggling with his tie.

“Florian! We gotta go, now”

With his cute pout, he huffed in defeat. “I’m trying draga. But I think the blue paint is coming off.”

“I told you I had to spray you with setting body paint spray.”

“Come help me please?”

“Fine.” Grabbing his tie and folding it for him gently, then grabbing the setting spray for the body paint. The paint was on his forearms: his chest, face and neck. I’m surprised it stayed in place, not to mention the white hair wax I did for his hair or the 2 inches of hair he does have. This man looked like the perfect king of the underworld.

The white button up was opened at the 4 buttons, his sleeves were rolled up a quarter of a way on his forearms for the body paint to work out better. The black vest made a great contrast with the whole ensemble, pulling off the perfect king look with the chain around his neck.

“So you make a really hot looking Hades. I’m Surprised you didn’t let me do the wig.”

“Me in a wig, baby girl? Nah not gonna happen at all. Now you can put the iridescent contacts in my eyes.”

Grabbing the prescription contacts and placing them in his eyes gently, I did the same with my red one's. I never knew I’d look hot as the queen of the Greek mythology, and I make it work.

“Ready to go my queen of the underworld?” He offered his hand to me, after putting.

Lacing our fingers together, tugging him behind me as we headed towards the car, I got into character and praying to the gods that I didn’t trip on my dress.

“I hope Minthe won’t be there, because I’d hate to rip her a new one.”

“Oh please, she wouldn’t dare- Gege what is that?”

His eyes went wide at the sleek black convertible that I had rented for the night. My uncle let me borrow it and I promised I’d bring it back in one piece.

I dangled the keys in front of his face being all tantalizing. “You can’t be Hades, king of the Underworld, without a good car. Now can you?”

“Damn I love you.” He grabbed them keys from me with a giddy expression.

“Oh I know. Let’s go, we got a party to host.”

-The Party-

The spooky ambiance of the mansion was alive, despite the fact that there were a few zombies in the place. Receiving compliments about our costumes felt magical and so heartfelt, we showed a lot of pride into making these costumes and for people to say they loved them meant all the difference.

“You know how to throw a party Geneva. This is amazing.”

“Amazing set up Geneva.”

“Thank you guys! Enjoy the party.”

The smirk Florian gave me was full of conviction and love. He knew exactly how much I loved party planning and decorating, it was like my zen time.

“Time for an announcement?” Florian arches a brow.

“That it is my dear king, that it is. But first I need to remain calm and find my voice. I’ll be down soon.” Placing a kiss on his cheek, I headed towards the big dining hall to give myself a quick pep talk.

“See you soon love. I’ll go find the boys.”

Greeting the guests on my way, I noticed an cat statue on the counter in front of the mirror. Why would anyone want to leave part of their just laying there?

“Someone must be missing this.” As soon as I touched it, I noticed a reflection looking back at me in the mirror.

“Well, well. You freed me from my prison, I thank you oh great queen.” The voice echoed at me, I realized it was a goddess trapped in the statue once the image was clear.

“Your prison, you were trapped in there? Why exactly?”

The goddess smiled at me and leaned out of the mirror in front of me. “Crimes of death I didn’t commit. Love and all that craziness. I, Minthe a naiad-nymph of Mount Mintha, have been summoned by the next great queen to help carry out her destiny.”

“Next great queen?” Was I losing it or can anyone else see her in the mirror? A few guests walked by and gave me a strange look, I assured them I was getting ready for a speech soon and they carried on.

“Yes you.” Without missing a beat, Minthe slithered out of the mirror and into me without warning. I glanced into the mirror once again and noticed one darker red eye opposite of my contact.

“Now you’re dressed a Greek goddess from a comic book is it? Now you have a nymph inside of you, I am going to help you feel confident and sexy again. Along with having fun, besides I am going to give you the confidence boost you have craved for so long.”

How did she know I was struggling with my confidence? Was I being watched from deities?

“How did you know that?” I asked while trying to keep my cool.

“The gods know all, my dear. Now let me do my work.”

“But I-” She took over my body and somehow added more sex appeal to my whole demeanor.

“Ah ah. Now we have a speech to deliver. Let’s go.” Once again she took over my body and guided it towards the foyer railing that looked over at everyone in the galley.

As Minthe had full control of my body, I knew this wasn’t going to end well. As she clapped my hands in an attempt to get everyone’s attention, the room got quiet and all eyes were on me. Well I’d say Minthe to be exact.

“Hear ye, hear ye! Ghouls, goblins, vampires, wolves and everything in between. Let’s do what others deem rather odd: let’s party!”

The crowd roared in cheers and hollers, the music played through the giant mansion and I had enjoyed the ambiance of it all. Much to Florian’s discretion, he was just hanging with the boys for the rest of the party. Till he caught up with me to see how I was doing, he places a kiss on my cheek and I let him know I was doing alright.

“Let me know if you need my queen.”

“I will my king.” I chuckled nervously, trying to tell him but he left. He didn’t know about Hathor being stuck inside me, and I had to tell him, Hathor however had other plans.

“Ah ah ah. Little Geneva, I’m here to help you out and get your sexy back. Because your man deserves a queen after all, as fine as he is.”

“News flash your royal ass-ness, I am all the queen he needs and then some. I’m just not as confident anymore as i used to be is all. Back off my man now and listen to me good: I love all things Greek, but you’re pissing me off now.”

With a slight huff, as I attempted to lean against the wall Minthe yanked my body away gaining full control over me. “Now, now princess, let a real queen show you how it’s done to make a man quiver in desire. He’s like now.”

I had no control over my own body, it was as if I were floating across a cloud just hanging on by a thread of sorts. Now I know how Eddie Brock feels when Venom took over. Hathor had a filled time at the party, she even decided to be sneaky and slip my thong off, slipping it into Florian’s back pocket all the while smacking his as one good time before venturing off into the sea of people.

“Geneva, you’re gonna get it.” I could hear him growl playfully but I couldn’t tell him anything. I felt like Ursula took my voice, and I needed to get to the bottom of this spell.

“Catch me if you can, Hades.” the seductive tone the deity used in place of my own voice, was like a siren calling a sailor to shore and my own boyfriend fell for it.

If anyone knew it wasn’t like me to be this way, and if I tried, I'd be embarrassed from the jump. The next several days were antagonizing to say the least, being that she never left my body and the way Florian worshipped the ground I walked on was astounding. He was under a spell of sorts, but not completely.

Whenever Hathor would take over she’s get the special treatment of Florian’s kisses and soft touches. It wasn’t me getting the loving at all and it hurt me, to the point where I had to seek help. Surprisingly, there was a woman in Cairo that specializes in these types of situations and could help me out. There was just one problem: I had to go to Athens.

Upon the research I have done, I may have surprised my man and all our friends with a random trip to Athens. So much for getting a few new pairs of shoes with that money, but my life was more important. Needless to say, it all went all for everyone. Well all except for me anyway, I couldn’t sleep with a rambunctious goddess in my head wanting to fuck my boyfriend for the millionth time.

I was never one to show excessive PDA in public and Florian knew why. Jake has ruined it for me to be affection in public and it did hurt Florian so much because he loved showing me off. I would do a Little yet, I feared he’d be annoyed with me.

I shouldn’t compare him to Jake, because that’s a low blow. It’s just as if I was afraid of him, we promised to be honest with one another and I wasn’t doing my part. So when he noticed I was being all on him like a hyena on a dead animal, and the times I drew back, he knew something was wrong.

Everyone was enjoying what Athens had to offer, I was as well a few times but today was worse. I couldn’t go to the oasis with everyone else and Hathor was screaming inside my head.

“Geneva? Are you ok, because you’ve been acting funny.” Florian asked gently, holding my hand as I looked out the window. Minthe didn’t sneak up on me this time around, so I could actually talk to him.

Breathing in and out, to catch my bearings, to explain to him what’s the reason for this random trip.

“I need to explain to you what all this is for.”

“What is going on?” He sat by me in the bed, holding my right hand genuinely and kissed my head.

“You know those times when I would basically pounce on you or be extra touchy feely and not remember?”

“Yeah..”

“Well there’s a nymph inside of me, not the good kind, but at the party someone left a cat alter in the formal dining room of the house and I touched it.” I sniffled and felt a few tears falling down my cheeks.

“So she is why I've been acting strange. I want to be more confident and sexy around you, and I can’t even do that without feeling insecure.” My voice cracked and I started sobbing.

Next thing I know, Florian hugged me close to his warm body to console me. “You will always be the only one for me. Regardless of how you show affection towards me, I can help you break out of that my love.”

Somehow that switched Minthe over but I fought her back a bit. “There’s this old lady I met with earlier, that can do rituals with deity separation. I could either keep her, or do the separation.”

Now why would you want to separate from me?

“Because I want you out of my life you dingbat!”

“Geneva..” Florian arched a brow, looking at me in shock.

“Florian, Florian baby listen to me- leave her and be with me Munteanu~” the switch was nonstop, my eyes changed from what I could tell from the mirror behind him and I could tell Florian seemed like he was losing his mind.

“Uh you guys! I need help!”

Our friends rushed in, in shock at how dark and sinister my eyes seemed as I kept looking in the mirror. Next thing I knew, Hathor moved my body over towards the mirror; punches it and grabs a broken shard waving it around scaring our friends.

Minthe’s threats were sickening. “Oh now look, cowards all of you. How would you feel if I just hurt your little friend, hmm?”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Florian growled.

Chris was right behind him. “Let her go now.”

She chuckled darkly while I tried to scream but it was to no avail. “No wonder Mandy wanted her gone. It was a good idea to plant the altar in the parlor.”

“Wait.” Roxie interjected. “Mandy planted the cat altar at the party?”

Miyah sighed shaking her head. “She wasn’t even invited and yet she knew where it would be.”

“She was dressed at Minthe at the party. It makes sense now.” Cleo gulped a bit and looked at Minthe who has full control.

“That’s right, and now I’m going to finish the job.” I could feel the glass shard dig into my wrist of my left arm and drag down causing blood to surface and drip on the floor.

Florian was too slow to catch the shard before it cut me. They were all trying to get the shard away from her, but she was too strong and moved towards the balcony. Once both arms were sliced from the wrists to the middle of my arms, nearly showing the bone, she then places the shard against my neck.

“Say goodbye to your precious Geneva.” One final slice upon my neck and I woke up in a cold sweat and blood curdling scream.

“Geneva! Gege, you ok? We heard screaming.” Florian must’ve ran upstairs quick.

“I think so. I guess- I guess it was all a nightmare.” Looking around the room, I saw my costume still on the chair by my vanity and Florian still in his workout clothes. Must’ve been some dream then.

“Wanna talk about it?” He rubbed my shoulders and kissed my head while sitting next to me on the bed.

“Well, it was all so dark and sinister. I had a Greek nymph trapped inside of me, to help me be more sexy and confident around you. Yet it backfired and she wanted you, and she tried to kill me. She was trapped inside of a cat statue and I touched it.”

The look of fear and dread was etched on Florian’s face, as he reached over and hugged me close.

“You don’t have to worry about being too sexy and too confident for me. I love you no matter what, and your sexiness is just perfect for me and only me. Confidence is out of this world too, so no matter what I will always love you. Now what caused this nightmare of yours?”

“I love you too Florian, forever and always.” Sighing gently, I looked around the room and noticed the Grecian wine glass on my nightstand that had Assyrtiko wine in it.

“This wine I had earlier. I just had some and- shit it was from Mandy to you.” I sucked my teeth and sighed angrily.

“When did she send the wine? And it was made a month ago, maybe it was the glass it came with.”

Sniffing the glass a bit, I smelled essence of geranium on the rim of the glass. I tossed it and it shattered on the floor.

“What the hell Geneva!”

“It had geranium essence on the rim. I’m gonna kill her, but after Halloween. I have a party to attend to.”

Getting up off the bed, I sniffled a bit and closed my eyes in thought. “I’m sorry for how I reacted. I just don’t like her at all and I need you by my side for this party. I need my Hades by my side.”

Placing a kiss upon my head, he hugged me once more. Making me feel secure and safe all over again. “I will be there right next to you, just like I am with everything else. The king does need his queen.”

His words always meant the world to me, kept me sane on most days and was the strength I needed.

“Let’s get ready. The crew is gonna come over soon so we can all get ready together.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll clean up the glass, don’t need anyone getting hurt.” He offered a sweet smile before leaving to clean up with broken glass.

What would I do without this man? Id probably be in my own head even more than I already am, and I’m so blessed to have him in my life. No matter what I went through, he was there.

“Let’s get this Halloween bash started right!” I heard Roxie’s voice downstairs, bringing a smile to my face. Time to get into the spirit.

Remember don’t accept gifts from people who have it out for you. Happy Halloween from my crew to yours!

#florian munteanu #florian munteanu imagines #florian munteanu x geneva shaw #genevive shaw #florian x geneva #halloween imagine #halloween bash

[bluboothalassophile]

Preparations for the End

It had started simple enough. It was graduation, for her, from Grimwood Finishing Academy for Ghouls, and she was graduating with honors and a full ride scholarship to Cornell; she wanted to be a veterinarian. And this was all simple because their headmistress Sibella De Ville had informed them to invite their families to this graduation. It wasn’t a massive problem, a lot of the families here were small, and simple, witches, werewolves, vampires, monsters or ghouls of some sort, they were mostly families hiding from the public eye. Hell, there was even a kitsune attending her school. But for the most part, a lot of the kids who landed here were orphans or runaways; persecuted for what made them different because it wasn’t like being a metahuman or alien; this was the supernatural, something mortals would always fear.

But this led Mary-Beth to her little problem. She could invited just one aspect of her family, it simply wouldn’t do. And Mary-Beth voted that she had the weirdest family in existence.

Sure, her mortal parents were supportive; and even encouraging of the family Magic being learned, she was a Charmed One and in the Magic world that was special as most magical families did not have as many as three children. Three was also a sacred number, a number for good luck, and in the Magic world, three was a number for power. So, her family was already an anomaly; as there were only a handful of Charmed Ones at any given time.

But back to her problem, for her graduation party; and inviting her family; she couldn’t NOT invite any aspect of her family, it’d probably start a feud; a bigger feud… again; but at the same time she didn’t think that it’d be this complicated. Family holidays were already hell enough to plan out since so many relatives; mostly on Raven’s side; had come out of the woodworks. And her weird family was so enthusiastic about being supportive and being there for her she couldn’t not invite any of them!

There was her one of the most powerful, raw magic Witches in modern age and completely mortal.

There was her little brother Billy, and he was her brother, he was weird.

Her baby sister Jessica was still growing into her powers.

And her best friend was a Witchlighter and the reincarnated King Arthur of Camelot, with his older brother being the reincarnated Sir Lancelot, and his younger sister being the reincarnated Lady of the Lake; they were also Charmed Ones

Then there was her cousin, Rachel Roth, a.k.a. Raven, most powerful mortal celestial being in existence.

Raven’s older, adopted brother, who was a famous cyborg hero, Victor Stone, a.k.a. Cyborg. Vic was exuberantly supportive of her; even embarrassingly enthusiastic about it; he had shown up to almost all her sports events with his moms, decked out in team spirit cheering for her; even when Rae couldn’t.

Their adopted moms, Dr. Harleen Quinzel and Dr. Pamela Isley, Gotham’s most dangerous villains. Surprisingly awesome and unsurprisingly crazy, but fun and loving aunts for her. Her mom loved them, as did her dad.

Raven’s adopted niece and nephews; Melvin, a metahuman who’s imagination manifested to suit her will and reality, Timmy, who was a metahuman banshee, and Teether, another metahuman who’s indestructible teeth could slice through anything.

Melvin, Timmy, and Teether’s foster parents; who were New Gods; Big Barda and Scot Free; they lived in Australia but would fly up for all family holidays; they were… big. Plus, their son Jacob; who was so precious!

There was Raven’s weird father figure/uncle person, who was also her mentor and loonier than a looney tune; having voluntarily locked himself up in an insane asylum; John Constantine. John Constantine was a madman, who adored Rae and had taught Mary more about thinking fast with Magic than anything her school had taught her.

Raven’s grandfather was the Devil himself, Lucifer Morningstar, who preferred to be called Luci with family, his demon consort Mazikeen Morningstar. Their frequent tag alone was Beatrice Decker; a good friend of Mary’s actually. Next to Chris, Trixie was probably her best friend.

All of the angels were Raven’s aunts and uncles; and Mary still didn’t know how but somehow Mary and her siblins had been adopted into that lunacy. Between Gabriel randomly dropping in on her studies, and Raphael coming around to tutor her, and Anna just swinging in; and Balthazar abducting her to random places, and Castiel showing up to check in on her from time to time with Luci’s son; Jack, who was Cas’ adopted son. It was nuts.

Not to mention Cas’ husband and husband’s brother, Dean and Sam Winchester were always randomly popping in to steal pie and drag her and her siblings off for monster hunting. They had charmed her mother somehow, Mary still didn’t know how, all she knew was that Hunters were always randomly popping into her life now.

Raven’s grandmother was Death, the actual entity of Death. The Endless were also now aunts and uncles; Mary had to remember to put them on her graduation party list as well. The Endless would be highly offended if she invited all the angels but not them, they still hated the angels for some results of the war, but they would hold truce for family gatherings.

And then there were the cousins she had gained through Raven’s demonic father, Trigon, who she couldn’t just ignore! Mary actually like Etrigan, she was awesome, Jason Blood not so much.

Also, if Raven came then her not-boyfriend boyfriend would come along, because Jason never strayed far from her cousin since their reunion. No, Rae would not be bring her actual boyfriend Koryak; no one approved of them dating, except maybe Jason, Mary didn’t get why the idiot didn’t fight harder for her cousin, they were magnetic and totally together.

Mary opened her door; which was taking a hard beating; as she dragged her attention from her quest to finish the list. The moment it opened a man shoved his way into her room.

“HEY!” Mary shrieked as she was shoved aside.

“Where’s the Gem!?” the man demanded.

“What!?”

“I’m tracking her magical signature, it led me here, where is she!?” the man turned on her. He was rather handsome, early thirties, long brown hair, brown eyes; he looked like the comic book character Remy LeBeau.

“And who the hell are you!?” she demanded, her own Magic cackling at her finger tips.

“She’s my aunt!”

“What!?”

“I’m Merlin, Merlin of Camelot, and I need help! I might have just unleashed the Four Horsemen!” he snapped, his brown eyes flashed red.

“Merlin has a beard,” she stated.

He laughed.

#bluboothalassophile #fanfic #one shot #mary-beth williams #merlin #hopes for a bastard universe

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Spider-Gwen: Ghost Spider #4 Thoughts

 The very, very, very end of Spider-Geddon and...a surprisingly great issue!

Covering this comic is very strange for me because I’m coming at it from two places mentally speaking.

Firstly I’m jumping into the fourth and final tie in issue to an event comic having not read the prior three issues.

Secondly I’m jumping into Spider-Gwen, a series I abandoned long ago, back in volume 2 issue #10 to be precise, which was published over 2 years before this issue was. It also had an entirely different writer/artist team back then.

Frankly I picked this up purely because I knew Mayday and some RYV characters were going to be in it. In that regard the issue was rather pointless, they cameo and do little else.

However I’m actually glad I bothered with the comic all the same. I was expecting this to be fluff and filler at best. An insufferable worshipping of Gwen Stacy, as so many comics (including Spider-Gwen itself) was when Spider-Gwen got big back in 2014-2016.

To my delight that wasn’t the case.

I admit to being rather lost with some plot points such as Gwen having a symbiote (this was brought up in Spider-Geddon #2 but it was unexplained there too) and how exactly Gwen can transverse dimensions.

However the rest of the issue was mostly good. Now I read Secret Wars: Spider-Verse, Web Warriors and Spider-Geddon #0-5 but I didn’t read any other Spider-Gwen or Ghost Spider issues so to me Gwen’s sense of loss over Noir and Spidey-UK felt rather unearned and cheap. It wasn’t that I didn’t think she’s be upset over losing a comrade but the deep sense of loss and words towards little habits within their respective relationships didn’t ring true to me. However that may have come up in issues I didn’t read so I’m willing to be corrected on that.

But based upon my reading Gwen feeling as sad as she did was a bit of a stretch. I also felt the milking of Spidey-UK’s death from a reader point of view was questionable because...did anyone honestly love that character? Spider-Man Noir I can understand, he has a fanbase (and this issue hammered home how asinine a decision it was to kill him back at the start of this event) but Billy Braddock? Who cares really? He was used for some cheap pathos in Web Warriors and that was about it. Now that being said I did love the idea behind him being buried in Lady Spider’s dimension as she was English (although if memory serves that was never confirmed outright, she may have simply lived in 1800s New York). I did wonder where the Hell Lady Spider was throughout this event though.

The addressing of Noir’s death though was much more necessary and as stupid as it was to kill him I do give Marvel credit for having an issue which addresses that. His fans deserved at least that much, particularly I think the Noir/Felicia shippers who are undoubtedly out there. I also very much appreciated how May, MJ and Felicia had different reactions to his death respectively.

Another great thing was that the general addressing of grief, sadness and death in the issue felt respectful. It felt real even though as I said the specifics of Gwen’s relationship with Noir and Spidey-UK didn’t quite ring true. It’s like it would’ve been perfect dialogue and execution if used for another character’s death.  A small detail I especially  liked in this regard was Gwen’s drumming as a coping mechanism. One of my major complaints in Latour’s issues was how Gwen’s hobbies and passions were underused and underdeveloped. She was a drummer but that didn’t factor that much into the stories I read. So to see McGuire embrace that is as welcome as Miles’ artistic talents in ITSV.

Now I admit, those of you who recall my thoughts on Latour’s Spider-Gwen book might be calling me a hypocrite here. Because another of my frequent complaints was how doom and gloom and glum Gwen typically was in that series from the outset, yet here I’m praising that.

I think the distinction is this. Latour came out the gate defining Gwen as grieving and guilt ridden, reeling from a tragedy that happened an undisclosed amount of time ago (but still making with the yuks and gags). Not only was this tonal whiplash but it also was a shitty way to set up a new ongoing series. It began world building for Gwen in media-res of extenuating circumstances and circumstances which were incredibly derivative of Peter Parker.

Where McGuire succeeds in this issue is by having not only a distinctly different tragedy but also the benefit of this occurring both after Gwen’s world has been built up and in the aftermath of a huge event. It’s totally realistic and earned that there would be a mourning for fallen warriors after a war. It’d be disrespectful for that not to be the case; in fact it’s kind of disrespectful that that mourning happens in a tie-in issue not the main book!

By having this issue actually deal with the aftermath it re-contextualizes the prior issues of the event. Spider-Geddon as a whole was definitely a bloated poorly written inconsistent mess. But this issue as a coda treats it with the weight the main book never had. There is an emotional realism to the story even though we are dealing with something as wacky as inter-dimensional travel and totem vampires.

This emotional realism is pulled off so well you even feel a little something for Karn’s death, you even feel bad he died alone and so violently even though again, no one is a fan of that character. No one gives a shit about him.

Part of this realism comes from McGuire from this one issue apparently being an inherently better writer than Latour ever was, at least for Spider-Gwen. Latour in all this works I’ve read emphasises style, and wants you to ‘watch’ the story unfold rather than feel like you are right there with the characters. You can ‘see’ Spider-gwen is upset but McGuire takes you inside her head and writes her grief from the inside out. Latour might’ve used internal narration but he rarely pulled this off, probably because he was too busy making a clown show on the side with stupid ass Spider-Ham cameos, wacky humour about the Bodega Bandit or building up Evil Daredevil instead of you know, the ACTUAL main character.

His Spider-Gwen work felt a lot like watching things sort of just happened rather than experiencing things unfolding like in this issue.

What further enhances this story is the deliberate or accidental metatext behind the story. No I am not talking about how Stan Lee had recently died when the issue came out, though that did make me tear up thinking about it.

Gwen has been rebranded Ghost Spider (though her recap page doesn’t quite admit that weirdly) and this is an issue about Gwen dealing with ghosts, dealing with death, spreading the grim news as a reluctant messenger of death. That angle just works in this issue and if embraced would work brilliantly as a new element to the character to latch onto. In no small part because, as the issue itself acknowledges, Gwen Stacy’s legacy is inherently linked to death.

That might be admittedly a radical departure from the punk rock youth vibe the series began with, but not only was that rather squandered by Latour (with bullshit like Hipster Electro and Hipster Kraven the Hunter, go fuck yourself seriously!) but at the end of the day that vibe is perhaps rather...shallow...for an ongoing character...??????

Other elements of the issue I liked was the artwork. It’s not much like what Rodriguez was going, which was I admit very distinct and gave Spider-Gwen’s series a unique identity. But this art is still lovely and works very well for the subject matter. What is particularly nice was the different period outfits Gwen adopted as she made her travels through the multiverse. Also, though this isn’t strictly ‘art’ per se, the word balloons at Karn’s funeral have a cool moment where everyone speaks a salute to Karn and the combined word balloons look like a spider. That was just a cool touch.

My final note is that McGuire has one of the best Peter Parker moments I’ve seen in a long time, and considering the quality of Spencer’s run that is not damning with faint praise (as it would’ve been just over a year ago). In the scene Spider-Gwen and 616 Peter discuss Gwen needing some time off and Gwen asks if that is selfish. On the one hand this is a little bit derivative of Peter Parker, King of Guilt and Responsibility. On the other hand I guess most heroes would ask this of themselves. Peter Parker surprisingly gives a very mature answer.

Now this answer is very much in character and logical for Peter, but it’s also something too often writers neglect in favour of writing Peter in a repetitive manner that renders him a caricature. Peter acknowledges it is selfish but that that is not wrong, He says the world will always need saving but the heroes get to pick their battles and have to sometimes rest, that indeed they deserve it.

Though a mere moment in a story not about him McGuire writes a Peter Parker who truly feels like a mature adult, that feels like the Peter who is truly the sum of his experiences.

Were this teenage or college aged Peter he wouldn’t have been likely to say that. If it was friggin Slott’s Peter Parker definitely not (even though he’d have still gone to play with Miles in the park rather than do his actual job). But a Peter Parker who’s insanely experienced and knows his limits? Yes absolutely he’d know he’s entitled to down time and more importantly needs it. It’s demonstrative of how guilt is present in his character and yet is not the defining trait. Responsibility is, and there is a responsibility to himself. Spidey-UK even echoes such a sentiment earlier in the story.

So with all that said I must admit this issue was a tremendous triumph from where I’m standing, I’d recommend you read it and would go so far as to call it the best issue of Spider-Gwen I’ve ever read sans her debut.

Does it change my feelings for Spider-Geddon as a whole?

No, it still sucked and was still pointless beyond resurrecting MC2 Peter (which in my book makes it worth it, sorry Spidey Noir fans, I’m sure he’ll be back eventually) but this last issue took it out on an unquestionable high note.

#Spider-Geddon #Spider-Gwen #Ghost Spider #Gwen Stacy #Spider-Man #Jason Latour #Robbi Rodriguez #Seanan McGuire #Peter Parker #Spider-Man Noir #Dan Slott #Nick Spencer #Lady Spider #May Parker

[punmasterkentparson]

vampire weekend

ao3

Vampires are rare. The bite doesn’t always take; about one in three people die. Most of the vampires running around are at least a decade old. Many of them are over fifty, and still more can count their age in centuries, although a common theme is that the older the vampire, the more reclusive they tend to be. Modern life is...a little hard to keep up with.

Making a new vampire in the modern world involves a lot of paperwork; namely, documentation proving that the human candidate volunteered for the bite of their own free will, and thereby absolves the siring vampire of responsibility if they die. The application fees aren’t expensive, but the application process is a pain in the ass.

Biting for feeding purposes only, on the other hand, is as easy as walking up to a guy and asking, “You ever been bitten?”

When Kent walks up to Alexei at the NHL Awards afterparty and opens with that, Alexei fumbles his champagne glass and says stupidly, “Beaten?”

“Bitten,” Kent repeats in Russian. “Have you ever been bitten by a vampire?”

“No?” Alexei replies, his befuddlement increasing. He’d known Kent was a vampire and that he spoke Russian from playing in the Russian Superleague and then a couple years in the re-branded KHL before moving back to America in 2012, but it still throws Alexei for a hell of a loop to be confronted by it all at once. “No, I’ve never been bitten.”

“Do you wanna be?”

Considering the stereotypes surrounding vampires and the guilty pleasure of their bite, Alexei feels a lot like he’s being asked, “Have you ever thought about being tied up and spanked?”

“By you?” Alexei manages.

“Do you have any other vampires asking?”

Alexei shakes his head. “I’m confused why you’re asking.”

Kent shrugs. “I’m hungry. One of my usual donors is sick, the other is out of town, my own teammates are off limits for personal and contractual reasons, and I hate picking up strangers.”

The reasoning is surprisingly logical. “So you decided to ask me?” They aren’t strangers, having played at least one All Star weekend together, but they’re barely more than what Alexei would call acquaintances. He’d have been surprised if Kent asked him out to breakfast. But Kent is asking Alexei to be breakfast. Or dinner, whichever.

Kent shrugs again. “You’re the first guy I’ve run into tonight whom I thought probably wouldn’t be a dick about it.” He fiddles with the hem of his jacket. “I’m not gonna be mad or offended if you turn me down, you know. I’ve always got a few bags of A positive in the fridge. You’re not my only option, just...the one I’d prefer.”

“Because fresh tastes better?” Alexei guesses.

“Would you rather a well-seasoned, medium-rare steak at a steakhouse, or a plain, re-heated hamburger patty at McDonald’s?”

Alexei takes his point. “How much blood would you need?”

“Not quite a pint. It’s less than you’d give at a blood drive. You’ll probably wanna sit for twenty minutes after, just to make sure you’re fine, but you’d have no problems getting back to your hotel on your own. Although it’ll take about two weeks for your body to replace it all, so, if you’re planning on any training or heavy conditioning soon, you should turn me down.”

Alexei nods slowly, surprised to find himself considering it. He’d always been curious, but in a very abstract kind of way; he’d never thought the opportunity would ever present itself. He’s surprised at how intrigued he is. “Can we do it here?”

“There are a couple VIP lounges, we could confiscate one. Are you really up for this?” Even though Kent is the one who asked, he still looks surprised.

Alexei drains his champagne and sets the glass on a nearby table. “What happens in Vegas, right?”

So they find an empty VIP lounge with a door that locks, and settle on the sofa. At Kent’s instruction, Alexei removes his jacket and rolls up his shirt sleeve.

“Isn’t the carotid artery better?” Alexei asks.

“Sure, if you wanna end your night with a ride in an ambulance. It gushes if you bite it wrong, and I’m not an amateur, but I don’t take chances. Only noobs and sires go for the neck.” Kent pulls off his jacket and tie, tossing both over the back of the sofa with a carelessness that guarantees wrinkles. Then he undoes the top two buttons of his shirt and un-cuffs both his sleeves to roll them out of the way. Distantly, Alexei thinks that dishevelment is a good look for him.

“Do I need to do anything?” Alexei asks as Kent takes his arm in both hands and positions it belly-up, the inner elbow facing him.

“Just don’t punch me when it stings. It always does at first, I can’t do anything about that.”

Alexei snorts a laugh before saying, “Okay.”

And with that, Kent leans over Alexei’s arm and bites him. Alexei flinches immediately, a full-body shudder, because shit, Kent hadn’t been kidding, his fangs really sting. Whatever numbing agent stored in them works quickly, though, and soon all Alexei can feel is the solid grip of Kent’s fingers and the bizarre sensation of his blood being sucked—not drawn out with a syringe at a hospital, but sucked—out of his veins.

Kent drinks in comically dainty swallows. He closes his eyes and his brow wrinkles in concentration, or maybe annoyance at the shallow bloodflow. Alexei certainly doesn’t felt like he’s losing too much blood. After the initial bite and then the numbing, the minutes start to drag and Alexei discovers that letting a vampire bite him is...actually kinda boring.

He leans back against the sofa to wait it out. Quickly, he starts feeling sleepy. There’s still some alcohol in his system and it has been a really long day. 

He doesn’t even notice when the tingling starts.

He does notice, however, when Kent replaces sucking with licking to close the wound. And then Alexei notices that he, Alexei, is starting to tent his pants.

“Oh, that’s normal,” Kent tells him offhandedly, which is embarrassing as hell but at least saves Alexei the trouble of trying and failing to hide it. “Venom side effect, sorry.”

“That’s real?” Alexei had always assumed that books and movies were making that kind of kinky shit up. “Vampire venom causes erections?”

“As a side effect, and only sometimes,” Kent emphasizes. He gives Alexei’s inner elbow one last lick and squints at the spot for a moment, checking that it’s healing up. The sensation of that lick is weird, because Alexei can see the intimate slide of Kent’s wet tongue on his skin, but he can’t quite feel it. Kent sets Alexei’s arm on the sofa and adds, “I don’t know the chemical components, just that it’s something to keep the donor pliant and happy while the vampire drinks. Some people get happier than others.”

If Alexei wasn’t feeling like a sack of blissed-out Jell-O, he’d roll his eyes.

Kent nods at Alexei’s arm. “How do you feel? Lightheaded, dizzy? Pain anywhere?”

Alexei sags his entire weight into the soft grip of the sofa, letting his head lull over the back while he shakes it in a negative. “Just feel tired. Like I got a mild dose of morphine.”

“How’s your arm?”

A flex of his hand proves stiff fingers, but otherwise the limb is mobile. “A little numb.”

“That’ll wear off.” Kent slides off the sofa and stretches, a full-body affair with his arms high over his head. His cheeks are pink and his mouth is pinker, fangs peeking out between his lips. There’s a sweaty sheen to his neck and hairline that wasn’t there before. Alexei is hit again, more intensely this time, by the palpable magnetism of him, how every sliver of exposed skin begs for touch.

Kent walks over to a far table and fills a glass with water. He brings it back to Alexei and waits for him to take it with his good hand. “Drink all of that, and I’ll get you another.”

Alexei obeys. Kent leaves, refills the glass, and returns. Alexei takes longer to drink the second. He watches Kent over the rim. Kent is sprawled sideways on the sofa, one arm flung over the back and one leg pulled up and bent on the cushion. The twist of his body pulls his shirt tight enough to strain the buttons, and it leaves his collar flayed open like a lily in full bloom. The peek of his flushed collarbone taunts Alexei.

Alexei gulps the last mouthful of water. Kent takes the glass from him, sets it aside. His gaze is placid, like he can see the gears turning in Alexei’s head and is waiting to see where they go, not dreading or anticipating Alexei’s thought processes, just... curious.

Thanks to vampire venom and a partially numb arm, Alexei can’t lean in gracefully. The best he can do is awkwardly shuffle his bulk closer. Kent’s mouth  pinches on an aborted grin of amusement at Alexei’s expense, but his gaze is clear, while Alexei knows his own is hazy with champagne and excess dopamine. There’s nothing suave about a loose-limbed drunk making a pass. But Kent waits for him anyway, lets him haul himself close until they’re breathing the same air.

Alexei cups Kent’s cheek in his good hand and brushes his thumb over flushed skin. There’s still an erection in Alexei’s pants. He very much doubts he’s the first person who’s come onto Kent post-bite. Whatever he’s doing, he knows it’s not original. So it’s gratifying, the way Kent’s eyelashes flutter and his lips part abruptly on an anticipatory breath at Alexei’s touch.

Alexei kisses him. Kent sighs, relaxing, and lets him.

Alexei kisses him softly and messily and drunkenly for a long time. Kent leans into the hand on his cheek and kisses back. He tastes like blood, and his fangs are a hazard. It’s different. But his lips are plush and his tongue is generous, and it’s been a long time since Alexei kissed anyone with a mouth this nice.

When they part, Alexei’s head is swimming. Kent’s face is redder from Alexei’s kisses than it was from Alexei’s blood. That’s immensely satisfying. Alexei grins.

Kent takes one look at him and snickers. “You’re really high,” he declares.

“Yeah,” Alexei agrees with relish.

Kent giggles and pats Alexei’s knee. “I’ll get you another glass of water. We’ll give it ten minutes and see how you feel, huh?”

Alexei groans, dramatically put upon, but he accepts the fresh glass of water when it’s handed to him. This time, Kent puts a little more distance between them so Alexei can’t just fall into him for another kiss. Alexei wants to, but he sees the sense in sobering up. 

Ten minutes pass and Alexei feels much more clear-headed. He realizes he may have over-stepped. “Sorry, about—”

Kent waves him off and winks. “I didn’t mind. Sorry I didn’t warn you about potential side effects.”

“I didn’t mind.”

Kent glances at Alexei’s hands, his mouth, then his eyes. “Yeah?” He licks his lips. “How long are you in Vegas?”

“I fly out on Tuesday.”

Kent nods. “When you’re sober, and after you’ve thought about it... If you wanna do this again, call me.”

Alexei hates to ask, but he needs to clarify. “Do you mean ‘this’ as in biting me, or ‘this’ as in kissing?”

“I mean ‘this’ as in kissing. It won’t be safe for you to lose any more blood for at least three weeks,” Kent warns. “Those are standard blood donation rules. If anyone ever tries to tell you otherwise, they’re either an idiot or an asshole.”

Alexei chuckles at the protective vehemence in Kent’s tone. Kent is still within arm’s reach, clothes and hair ruffled and his skin so pink and supple-looking that it makes Alexei want to suck bruises on him. Time to think will definitely be necessary. He knows better than to follow his gut instinct to blurt out an impulsive ‘yes.’ “Okay. I’ll think about it. Give me your number?”

Numb fingers don’t handle smartphone keypads very well, so Alexei hands over his phone to let Kent input his contact information himself. When he gives the phone back, Kent says, “It’s okay if you don’t call.”

Alexei is ninety-nine percent sure he’ll call. “It’s okay if you change your mind.”

There’s a slight fang-exposing curl of Kent’s lips that puts fire in Alexei’s belly. Alexei is ninety-nine percent sure Kent won’t change his mind.

Twenty-four hours later, from the comfort of his hotel room, Alexei calls.

Kent, half a city away in his apartment, answers. He hasn’t changed his mind.

They spend the remainder of Alexei’s time in Vegas in bed. Kent doesn’t bite him again, but Alexei leaves hickeys on Kent’s skin like they’re party favors. He gorges himself on Kent’s body, every hard-soft inch of it, finds out every sound he can wring from him. He nicks his tongue on Kent’s fangs with how hard he kisses him and learns that Kent is a little bit weak, when it comes to blood; but Alexei also learns that he doesn’t mind that.

On their last night, Kent rolls into the curve of Alexei’s side and molds himself against Alexei’s ribs and hip like he belongs there. “If you don’t want anything after this, it’s cool,” he says. “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right? It was a good weekend.”

Alexei slips his arm around Kent’s shoulders and musses his already thoroughly mussed-up hair. “Yeah. It was a good weekend.” He takes a breath and lets his next words out carefully. “It could be an even better summer, though.”

Kent tucks his face into Alexei’s neck. Alexei can hear him smile. “Yeah, it could be.”

#omgcp #omgcp fic #one shot #vampire au #omgcp vampire au #patater #kent parson #alexei mashkov #tw: blood drinking #tw: blood mention #vampire kent parson #human alexei mashkov #still hockey players #no reference to the band i just suck at titles

[blorgon-schmorgon]

btvs rewatch 2k19 (1x04, teacher’s pet)

continuing my weekly rewatch of buffy with my partner (his first time watching), we watched teacher’s pet last week, and it was a surprisingly entertaining episode. in this episode, xander falls in love with a she-mantis, the seeds of bangel are planted, and I try to make sense of what is considered the worst episode in the series. 

on adulthood, parallels to future seasons, and masculinity

this episode is correctly received as an early misfire in the show - as The Passion of the Nerd points out, the episode lacks suspense - Miss French is so _obviously_ the villain that the episode is robbed of the tension that The Witch had.  One of my favorite writers on the first three seasons of Buffy, morgue, puts forth the compelling case that this episode is Buffy The Vampire Slayer done wrong; while it seems to follow the logic of the show’s premise, it is thematically askew, it mishandles the series’ themes of sexual violence, and lacks the emotional resonance that would characterize the show later. The structure for the episode is also completely off - Critically Touched points out that the audience’s attention is divided between two plots, that of the fork-vampire and the she-mantis, neither of which are treated in any interesting way. Watching it myself, I was surprised at how often flashbacks were used in this episode - it seems like there wasn’t enough here to fill 43 minutes, even with two competing plots. 

Of course, one thing all the reviewers I’ve mentioned is that the two scenes that bookend the episode between Buffy and Angel are easily the best parts of the episode. Much as I previously stated that The Witch does important work in exploring Buffy and Giles’ relationship, this episode sets the ground for the future Buffy/Angel dynamic. Angel is much less involved in this episode, but to read Xander and Miss French’s dynamic into Buffy/Angel is not a huge leap - a pivotal moment in the episode has Xander make the connection explicitly.  Xander: She's not an insect! She's a woman, okay? And hard as that may be for you to conceive, an actual woman finds me attractive. I realize it's no mystery guy handing out leather jackets, and while we're on the subject, what kind of a girlie name is 'Angel' anyway? Buffy: What does that have to do with... Xander: Nothing! It just kinda bugs me. Look, I really gotta... He walks off. Buffy turns and watches him go. Buffy: Wha...?

This scene is possibly the interpretive key to this episode - albeit clumsily handled. Xander emphasizes woman here, highlighting the age gap between them and making the parallel with Buffy and Angel explicit. This is not the last time an unhealthy relationship between a teacher and a student will be paralleled to Bangel - though, it’s much more thematically complex when explored in I Only Have Eyes For You. Putting the two episodes side-by-side reveals how far BTVS moves ahead by late season 2, stylistically, visually and thematically.

But taking the episode for what it is, it’s fascinating to me that the episode doesn’t take this parallel very far - Xander’s frustration at Buffy’s relationship with Angel is borne out of male entitlement for sure, but his impulse to be involved with Miss French remains interesting. From that pivotal scene where he lashes out at Buffy, to be involved with an older woman seems to be borne out of a desire to be seen as as desirable to the adult gaze as Buffy seems to be, proving that he can match her in attractiveness. Of course, where the show shows Xander’s interest in Miss French to be dangerous and foolhardy, Buffy’s interest in Angel will be mostly validated by the show until mid-season 2. By late season 2 however, the subtextual parallel between Bangel and Xander X Miss French is realized, as Angel becomes the predatory ex-boyfriend, allowing I Only Have Eyes For You to occur. Reading Teacher’s Pet together with I Only Have Eyes For You, the potential danger that Bangel presents to Buffy remains silent in Teacher’s Pet, lying dormant until it can be expressed in IOHEFY. 

Partly, it seems to me that the episode’s treatment of Bangel as less predatory and dangerous than Xander’s dalliance with Miss French is a result of Buffy’s status as the Slayer - being the Slayer means that Buffy is already coded as part of the world of adults, dealing with threats and responsibilities that characters like Xander and Willow shouldn’t, and don’t, have to. When Xander is inducted into the world of monsters through his relationship with Miss French, it puts him in danger of having his youth stolen away. In comparison, Buffy is already in the world of monsters and vampires, making her relationship with Angel okay (by the show’s logic at this point). Her adolescence has already been taken away by the responsibilities of the Slayer, and she is forced to grow up fast. In comparison, Xander represents youth untarnished, a ripe victim for predators like Miss French. He is eager to grow up and willing to risk his life in order to prove his maturity, where Buffy wants to stay young, aware of the dangers the world of monsters represents.

This duality between Buffy and Xander is why Xander, for all intents and purposes, is the deuteragonist of the first season. In future seasons, Willow will become Buffy’s main foil, particularly in season 6, as Xander recedes further and further into the background, his narrative purpose more or less fulfilled by the end of season 1. In this season, though, he is as narratively important as Buffy, a fact that the current Boom comics is aware of. This is why Teacher’s Pet is the first episode that begins not with Buffy’s point-of-view, as the past two episodes have, but with Xander - he wrests narrative control through his dream sequence, in which a patriarchal view of gender reasserts itself; Buffy is weak, vampires threaten women, and Xander saves the day, complete with a guitar solo.

This dream sequence is the antithesis to the opening scene of Welcome to the Hellmouth, the show’s mission statement. There, the innocent woman, threatened by the scary man, turns out to be the real danger, and eats the man. In the beginning of this episode, Xander challenges this statement that seemingly threatens to emasculate him, imagining a world in which he is the Slayer and Buffy is a helpless, admiring woman waiting for him. This episode thus attempts to course correct him, playing out the show’s opening subversion over 40 minutes - putting him in danger of a predatory woman who wants to consume him. This continues the themes set up in The Witch, of non-vampire monsters who are nevertheless vampiric, stealing the youth of teenagers for their own nourishment and perpetual youth, as I argued in my previous post. In both these episodes, Buffy, the teenager forced to grow up too fast, has to fight and kill these youth-usurping monsters who plan to take away the youth of other teenagers. Here, however, Buffy is not only saving Xander from Miss French, but also from his toxic masculinity- his desire to be a hero, to be a Man, makes him act in impulsive, foolhardy ways, and almost gets himself killed.  Unfortunately, this episode never lets Xander reflect on his lack of trust in Buffy and his desire to prove himself. While it reasserts the show’s focus on Buffy and her journey, not letting Xander usurp the narrative of the show, it fails to bring Xander anywhere, beginning the trend of the show being unable to fully do anything interesting with Xander’s character. This might be the true failure of this episode. Unlike The Warriors of Kyoshi, episode 4 of Avatar the Last Airbender, which successfully begins an arc of Sokka re-evaluating his relationship to masculinity and his acceptance of the power the women in his life have, Xander does not do that here, remaining in stasis. This stasis will by and large persist.

Sidenote: My partner loved the scene with Cordelia at the grievance counselor’s office, as well as the she-mantis going eenie meanie miny moe. I personally found the scene with older Miss French hilarious. What this show lacks in complexity and themes right now, it more than makes up for it with humour. This episode is a riot!

#btvs rewatch 2k19 #btvs rewatch #buffy the vampire slayer #buffy #xander #buffy meta #teacher's pet #buffy teacher's pet #buffy 1x04 #btvs