#take a deep breathe

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

#warm up #this isn't good #writeblr #this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3 #but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker #and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS #the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!? #..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much. #on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt #and medical debt #i will put that first little bit of cash #into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments) #i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option #but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver #oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs

[new-november-moons]

#i would say fruity friday but girl it's saturday #take a deep breath y'all :) #fruit #poll #polls #tumblr poll #tumbler polls #i love polls sm

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

#mental health #mental health support #positivity #if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them! #i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all.. #...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in... #...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air... #...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life... #...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with... #...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it... #...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it #i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive #unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better

[themefromtwinpeaks]

i feel like we do not talk about this line enough…i love unnecessary feelings as much as the next guy but my god this is a convoluted love confession of Shakespearean proportions…it should be taught in schools…

#when i tell you i had to put my switch down and take deep breaths #it’s my bio on here so people prob already knew how i felt about it but i had to post! #it’s on my mind day and night! #ace attorney #phoenix weight #miles edgeworth #narumitsu #wrightworth #becstxt

[yrsonpurpose]

PAUL MESCAL & ANDREW SCOTT All of Us Strangers (2023) dir. Andrew Haigh — You're here. With me.

#all of us strangers #aous #aousedit #paul mescal #andrew scott #lgbtq #lgbtedit #mine* #aous spoilers #yeah im gonna be needing to take some DEEP BREATHS after this bc what....................... #i knew it'd be deep but didnt know how much. phew. #the Acting my goddddddd #his face in the last one :((((( #the resignation #also the 3rd one.. he's just a baby

[miralyk]

another orbit around the sun finished...! here's to continuing on 🎇

#my art #not much i can say esp bc i'm still p bittersweet about so much that's happened #but... yeah...! life will keep going and i'm now taking a deep breath taking in the night air and fireworks #happy new year #2024 #update: fixed the caption to be accurate bc i mixed up earth’s rotation = 1 day and earth’s orbit around the sun = 1 year LMAO

[thisisasundrysideblog]

right in front of his salad??

#dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fantasy high #fhjy spoilers #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fantasy high spoilers #takes a deep breath #zac oyama #brennan lee mulligan #siobhan thompson #emily axford

[jude-us]

White trans people telling trans men who like to dress feminine that they do it because they “enjoy the privileges of white womanhood” is a really good example of how certain white people weaponize racism to justify anti trans masculinity. Also using POC this way without even acknowledging the existence of brown and black trans men is in fact racist!

#Twitter is having a time #let me take a deep breath and get back to cat posting #trans #ftm #anti transmasculinity #boyblogging

[smokestarrules]

*inhales*

LUZ ISN’T BEING STOIC OR UNCARING IN THIS SCENE, SHE’S JUST TRYING NOT TO OVERWHELM AND SHAME HIM FOR CRYING BECAUSE IN THE PAST HE’S NOT WANTED TO BE TOUCHED DURING AN EMOTIONAL MOMENT 

#takes a deep breath. okay I feel better now #toh #toh spoilers #the owl house #the owl house spoilers #luz noceda #hunter #hunter noceda #smokey speaks #500 #1k #10k

[niinnyu]

Red in your hair.

#wooo first dungeon meshi post! #just wanted to redraw this panel since they didnt animate it... #her blood on her hands.. in her hair.. her hair that is very important as a mage... yeah #also just what a cool panel i had to take a deep breathe when i was reading oof #also sleep walking orchestra has been stuck in my head its so good #the one distortion when “or it's a demon” lyrics is on loop muah muah #i did hope bump of chicken would do the wha opening but this fits the vibe too yumm #anyway... marcille :D #marcille donato #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #marcille dunmeshi #dungeon meshi fanart #also wth is delicious in dungeon... dungeon dining if you wanna keep the alliteration #but whatever #cw blood #niinnyu arts

[infinite-orangepeel]

joe keery making everyone foam at the mouth by simply pushing the hair out of his face (the power he has over me…IM WEAK)

gif credits to: @pixiekeery (gif 2), @wrestless-waves (gif 3), @stevexharringtonx (gif 7 and 9), @eddielove (gif 6), @gothsugarwhore (gif 1), @charlie-hunnam (gif 5)

#everyone take deep breaths #i know it’s challenging not to go into cardiac arrest after viewing this man #really putting the hair in steve the hair harrington here #im on my knees #this is feral of me and im sorry about it but also not at all #you’re welcome #joe keery #djo #djo decide #djotime #joe keery gifs #steve harrington #steddie #stranger things #steve harrington kin #steve the hair harrington #steddie brainrot #steve harrington my beloved #stranger things cast #stranger things steve

[paper-mario-wiki]

ive exclusively been playing it by ear with the makeup (no tutorials or anything) and i somehow always end up looking like a secretary kind of so ive been practicing looking exasperated while wearing makeup cuz i figure i gotta work with what im given ya know

#image #thank you for all the kind words #i typically tend to stay away from full sincerity online because i think having a few layers between what you see and what i am is like #a reasonable safety measure for someone with a massive following to take #but i will say that im very lucky to have already accumulated a following of people so in support of *this* already #because it makes it much easier #theres still a lot of parts of it that dont feel real and probably wont for a while but right now #but while im just putting on makeup to feel pretty and posting pics for fun #before im ready to take a deep breath and fully commit to a shift of name and pronouns #just for right now #i appreciate it

[cha-lii]

can we

maybe

have a sequel now?

tiny little gay sequel?

please?

#luca #cmon i need it #i NEED it #aged up gay as fuck boyfriends #alberto and luca #gayin it up #come on #pixar #you can do it #take a deep breath

[rippedstitches]

I THINK I HAUVE COVID????!?!?!????

#saw these and had to close my eyes and take the biggest deep breath ever #i need to be put down #sarah snook #these are not new btw I just miss everything

[lineffability]

my personal taxonomy of "he would not fucking say that" is

1 "he would not fucking say that normally but under these specific circumstances he might and isn't that interesting"

2 "he would not fucking say that but it's fun to imagine actually"

3 "he would not fucking say that and I do not understand where you even got the faintest notion from that he might, but I remain puzzledly neutral"

4 "he would not fucking say that and I am gritting my teeth and seething inwardly but I can ignore this without receiving too much psychic damage"

5 "he would not fucking say that and the only thing stopping me from inviting you to a duel in the town square tomorrow at noon is my working brain, which I have, opposed to you apparently, but I would still like to sacrifice you to the nearest volcano and delete my short term memory just so I don't have to be aware that I live in a world where people have so little grasp on a character and no apparent media literacy whatsoever, excuse me while I go count some flowers and scream from the nearest hilltop"

#somewhere in there there's an interim category that goes #“he would not fucking say that but it is CLEARLY a joke and op i aware of it so maybe don't get so worked up take a deep breath and relax” #but that category IS different from 6 where op is very much unaware of their dreadful misinterpretation

[triflesandparsnips]

hey so friendly reminder

stede gives *full body* kisses

#I love it when actors just go full-body like that #because yes kisses with LOTS OF SPACE in between is a thing that happens! #but they're not the *only* kind #and there is a *very particular message* about a full-body one #especially on screen #and that message is #'somebody said we must live in two separate bodies - but my skin says it misses you - #and my blood remembers when it ran through both our veins - #and every part of me just wants to prove a motherfucker wrong - so let's kiss #and kiss - #until our bodies become one again - #and we can finally take a full deep breath of air #instead of the lonely half-measures that sustained us #for all the years it took to find our other halves again #(...which tbh is kind of a lot for one man's hip-to-hip full-dick action kiss to accomplish but like. I calls it like I sees it) #our flag means death #our flag means death s2 spoilers