#thank you for enabling me to ramble buddy

[zeawesomebirdie]

hi !!!! did NOT consider you might like to have the ask again to answer it. if you do:

seeing you post about your old west au is motivating me to at least draft my stuff out for my fic, too!!! so, firstly: good god thank you. secondly, what kind of drafting process do you normally go through? you don't have to answer this but everyone i know is pretty particular about how they write so i'm always curious!!!

Gosh okay I'm still so embarrassed about accidentally posting this before it was ready!! Lesson learned: only work on long posts on desktop (very affectionate). I'm going to copy paste what I had originally said, but there will be added stuff because it wasn't anywhere near ready to go (if you thought it was long before, honey you ain't seen nothing yet!)

Also I still am so proud of you for working on your fic, we are writing buddies now hand in lovable hand I love you thank you for enabling my rambling <33

Buckle in, here we go!

SO! My drafting process is always a moving target. I do what works best for the work in question, and things change depending on my energy and fatigue levels plus my motivation and interest levels

So that said, right now my process usually looks like:

ramble at someone in DMs, copy and paste rambles into a google doc for safekeeping and marinating

zero draft, aka word vomit until a plot forms, block out actions and the occasional dialog, determine chapter and story arcs

first draft, aka Where The Real Writing Happens

optional second draft, but only if the fic is under 10k

line edits

post :)

find a bunch of typos that I somehow missed during line editing, fix those before anyone notices

I will be showing examples because this is a bit hard to explain and Extremely Intense to a lot of people, and yeah that's because it is! I approach writing fanfic the same way I approach writing original fiction, and I find it works best for me as a plotter

If you are metaphorically inclined and familiar with oil painting: I write the way an oil painter paints. First I block in the big shapes, the gestures, and the colours. Then I come back in subsequent drafts and increase the detail until I'm done!

Further information and actual examples of my drafts will be below the cut, because this is gonna be super long and I love talking shop ^.^

And general content warning for non-graphic violence and graphic smut (and shitty early drafts); the examples are from Bruce Wayne/Dick Grayson fics

So before we get into the zero draft, I want to point out two things: first, I do full rewrites. This is why writing takes me one million years. I retype each and every word in each and every draft. Second, I'm actually trying something new with the Old West!AU, for reasons I will explain in a moment!

I started doing full rewrites in 2019 after a college writing course, in which we read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott; she encourages the reader to embrace the shitty first draft. I ended up really benefiting from a zero draft too, something I first learned about in 2020 from someone on authortube who I no longer remember the name of. The zero draft is essentially a pre-draft, in which one gets the gist of the story out of their system before the prose clogs up the spigot

For me, zero drafts are something that need to be finished as fast as possible in order to get done at all, so due to the sheer length of the Old West!AU, I'm trying out writing little bullet points instead of my full zero drafting. Right now this fic is at 27 chapters, and this is part 1 of 3 total. I will be going back and filling in the actual blocking once I have all the scenes roughly accounted for

Context for the Old West!AU: Bruce is the Bat, a vigilante gunman who only kills when he needs to but still has the fastest draw on this side of the Mississippi. Now that he's taken care of the man who killed his parents, he's returned home to his Uncle Alfred and gone straight, meaning that he's hung up his guns and gone back to homesteading the family land. He adopts Dick and then a year later Jason as well, when small burglaries start happening in town, so he takes the Bat out of retirement and goes to investigate.

My bullet points started out like this:

Open on comparison between Bruce's first gun and the Bat's guns. Introduce Joe Chill, general drunkard. The Bat calls out Chill, shootout, Chill is killed. Chill drew first. Moment of reflection between Bruce's first gunfight at 15 to this one, at 21. Bruce goes home.

And that's the whole entire first chapter!

However, now they look more like:

The Sheriff runs up and shoots at him. The Bat has him disarmed with his own gun barrel to his throat in an instant. It doesn't take the Bat much time to get info out of him either. The burglar is only going after small change, not enough to be noticeable. That rules out the gambler, easily. The Sheriff can't do shit about it, because no one is willing to start an investigation for such small change. The Bat shoves the Sheriff to his knees and is gone before he notices. Alfred is waiting for him when he gets home, and asks. Bruce tries to deny it, but the clothes are in his hands and he can't. So he sighs and says he may have made a promise, but… there might be more to this than there seems, okay? He just… has a bad feeling about it. Alfred can't accept this, what about his sons? Bruce can't take this, and tells him he doesn't have to. Their yelling wakes up Dick and Jason, who stand in the doorway to their bedroom and look on with the door mostly closed.

Eventually both Alfred and Bruce yell each other out, and they sit down for coffee as dawn breaks. Bruce breaks the silence first, saying Alfred is right. Alfred tells him he understands. Bruce decides to let the Bat go for real now.

This is about half of the chapter, and closer to the blocking I normally do in zero drafts

So far this pre-zero draft seems to be working, given I've already finished part 1, but I also can't wait to come back and do the blocking in because that's when the fic really starts to take shape!

Usually though, I just start with a zero draft. I'm going to show you two different fics for the zero draft examples, because they were done differently, and like I said at the beginning, I try to adjust my process based on what is called for by what I'm writing

This first is from the fic I'm writing for @ful-crum. It's a 5+1, in which it is five times Dick fucks Bruce to distract him from discussing his emotions plus one time they actually discuss their emotions and then fuck about it.

Tim and Jason turn up an hour later, and they're incredibly concerned. Dick waves them off. Tim takes him at his word and heads to bed (he has a meeting with Wayne Tech at 8am tomorrow, ugh), but Jason sits down next to the bed and asks Dick what he thinks Bruce is going to say. Dick tells him he's not sure, I mean, it's B, y'know? Jason just nods, and they lapse into silence. Then Steph and Cass come in, and Bruce is most noticeably not present. Cass signs something about bed, and Steph tells Dick that she's worried about Bruce, to which Jason snorts and says they all are, but she insists that Dick talk to him. Dick doesn't even need to take more than a moment to decide that won't be happening. But Steph goes to bed, and it's nearly 04:00 when Jason heads up too, saying he'd love to help Dick lecture Bruce about staying out late but he's got stuff to do tomorrow. Dick asks if he wants to know what stuff, and Jason gives him a smirk and says ask him no questions and he'll tell him no lies. Dick can live with that.

As you can see, this is just general staging directions and vibes

This second example was supposed to be for BruDick Week 2024, but I accidentally got carried away and ended up deciding to write a longfic for it instead. The prompt was "brudick meet their AU!selves," so I did 66!brudick meets the Gotham Rogues Polycule, an AU in which Bruce, Dick, and Clark are in a very elaborate polycule with half of Gotham's villains.

Batman and Robin were on a normal mission in the middle of the day, on the trail of Catwoman, who's been stealing from the Gotham Museum of Art again. One moment they were walking into the museum, the next they were in a weird swirl of energy. Robin clings to Batman and asks what's going on, and Batman tells him steady Robin, we just have to stay calm and see what happens. The energy clears as someone calls out “incoming! Clear the floor!” and they find themselves in what is clearly the Cave, except it's even more high tech than anything they've ever seen. There's three people in suits like theirs standing in front of a massive screen, and Robin identifies the Riddler immediately, even if he doesn't recognise the other two. Before Batman can stop him, he charges the Riddler, who jumps behind the man in black and blue with a laugh. Batman does call out for him to stop, but he ignores him. The man in black and blue meets his every move, almost like he's fighting himself, and he calls out to the man in red and blue “a little help here, Supes?”

The biggest difference here is how drastically these fics changed from their zero draft to the first draft rendition, and that is entirely because of how fleshed out they ended up being (or not being, lol)

When I zero drafted the 5+1, it was with the intention of that specific part simply being a chapter, whereas my original zero draft of the 66! meeting the polycule! fic was actually intended to be a two shot at most. I unfortunately lost control of the plot during the first draft of that one, and it spiraled into a longfic, which will become more clear in a bit!

Basically though, the goal of the zero draft is to know who's where and why at all times! With longfics, there is often a restructuring that happens after the zero draft is written, where I move scenes and sometimes whole chapters to their best locations. This is where I make the most use out of a beta! Pacing is a big struggle for me and it is easier to fix at this stage, before I have all the prose and have become attached to what I've written

Next up is the first draft, and this is a whole new document. This is where I write The Actual Words. This is more or less the final version of the fic, for longfics, give or take a few paragraphs and a shit ton of line edits. Having said that though, I write in fits and bursts, because y'know disabled and stuff. So I write a paragraph or two at a time, and I am constantly adding and subtracting words and lines and sometimes whole paragraphs while I am actively working on a chapter

I'm going to show the first draft versions of both of the above fics, and due to the length these will be extremely excerpted but they should serve as examples regardless. Generally speaking, my zero drafts are about 1/3 of the length of my finished fics, however the 5+1 is currently proving to be an exception so that number may not be super accurate

First, the 5+1:

“You did take care of them, right?” Dick asked, groaning when Jason’s mouth thinned as he looked away. “Is Steph at least still with him?” “Last I heard, they were—” Jason started, cutting himself off when the Cave’s alarm signaled the arrival of newcomers. A moment later, two muddy bikes roared into the garage, leaving dark tracks behind them as they parked haphazardly together on the far side of the garage. With the return of Black Bat and Spoiler, the only empty place on the garage floor now belonged to Batman himself. Dick tried to catch Jason’s eyes as they waited in the med bay for Cass and Steph to strip off their suits and join them, but Jason turned away from him, though he didn’t rise from the bed. Something must have gone down after he’d fallen unconscious, Dick was sure of it. Why else would Bruce have sent everyone else home early on a patrol night? He could already see it in his mind’s eye, Batman doing God-knew-what out in Gotham alone, Bruce coming home with a busted lip that Dick would have to personally clean up before they went to bed, how that lip would scab over and feel under his tongue when he kissed Bruce the next morning after waking up in their bed—Bruce’s bed—on accident. How that scab would stretch when the ghost of a smile caught Bruce by surprise after one of Dick’s terrible puns. “You okay?” Steph called across the Cave as she and Cass walked toward the med bay. “Never been better,” Dick replied, trying not to be put out at Jason’s eye roll. He put up a hand for Cass to inspect when she came up to his bedside, and after she had nodded her satisfaction of his health he smiled. “I’ll be right as rain in no time.”

And the 66! meets polycule! fic:

“You!” Robin shouted, not waiting for Batman to back him up as he charged toward the Riddler. Riddler didn't move—in fact, none of the three moved—then Robin was on him, punching his face hard enough to hear a distinct crack. That startled all three into action, Riddler swearing up a storm before throwing himself behind the blue masked man, who blocked Robin's next hits without hesitation. “Robin!” Batman called from somewhere behind him, but Robin ignored him, focusing his energy on striking past the masked man's defenses to get at Riddler. “I know you're behind this, you– you scum!” Robin snarled in Riddler's direction, placing a perfectly timed jab toward the masked man's left cheek and then feinting to the right. But the man met him easily, as though they were merely sparring. “I'm not who you think I am!” Riddler exclaimed, his hands cupping his face but doing little to staunch the blood streaming from his nose. “Let's slow down for a minute, okay?” the masked man said, his voice maddeningly level as if Robin wasn't trying every trick he knew to get past him. “We can explain.” “Yeah kid, there's a good explanation here, we promise,” Riddler added. Robin growled and spun around the  masked man's reach only to find him once again directly blocking him from Riddler. How in the dickens did he know exactly where Robin was going to strike before Robin himself knew? And why on earth was he protecting the Riddler? “Supes, we could use a hand here,” the masked man said, still obnoxiously calm, once again blocking Robin's fist and this time circling his hand around Robin's wrist to twist his arm behind his back. In a blink, Robin was lifted into the air by his collar, the blue and red suited man holding him at arm's length. Robin continued to struggle for a moment, but finally Batman came into view, frowning up at him. Seeing Batman's disapproval took every bit of wind from Robin's sails, and he deflated instantly. If Batman didn't think he needed to fight, then he probably didn't need to.

So as you can see, I just kinda fill in the details with each draft!

Which is where we come to the optional second draft. I try, I really do try, to do a full second draft of everything I write. I always am glad to have done one, once it's done. The problem is, I really do have very limited energy, and anything longer than a chapter or two just doesn't get finished if I try to give it a full second draft. I've instead been doing really vigorous line edits, which I don't have an examples of because those are done in the same document as the first draft!

Now, you're probably wondering why on earth I gave a smut content warning at the beginning of this post. WELL.

I am calling myself out as a newbie when it comes to the art of smut writing. My 5+1 fic, the one where literally every single part has extremely explicit smut, has the following in the zero draft:

Yes, that is not one, not two, but three "cue smuts." Clearly I was new at this (affectionate)

Shout out to past!me for this in the last part though, because at least it actually has some semblance of blocking even if it is still extremely lacking:

The kissing escalates (as it often does) to smut over the desk (though Dick does try to move the documents out of the way, even if Bruce is growling at him to leave it alone; he doesn't want to be the reason Tim has another caffeine-induced breakdown).

I didn't figure this out until I was actually writing this fic, but it turns out I not only need to block in regular action scenes, I also need to block in the smut, because otherwise I will be sitting there having no fucking clue what to write (very affectionate)

So I now present what a zero draft of smut looks like! This is from a 5+1 in which there are five times Bruce and Dick fuck because of Poison Ivy's sex pollen and it "doesn't mean anything," plus one time they fuck because they actually want to:

Dick asks if they can take off their suits, it's too hot he's too hot, and Bruce says okay, that's a good idea, and internally he's panicking because oh no. Oh no. But the moment the words are out he sees the relief in Dick's face, and realises Dick needs to be told what to do right now, so he tells him clearly to strip, it'll help. Once Dick is fully naked in the other seat, he turns to Bruce and asks if he needs help with his armor. His hand is tentatively, almost shyly stroking his cock, and Bruce is really struggling to not watch. He tells him no, he doesn't, and takes off the chest plate and arm armor, but leaves what's left of his leg armor on. He decides he can safely put his hand under his boxers, but Dick makes a little noise, and when he looks over he can clearly see Dick watching him stroke himself. Oh fuck. He's cumming before he even realises it, his boxers getting wet and sticky and his cock still so maddeningly hard and he strokes himself through it, unable to stop himself from moaning even as he tries to keep himself in a clinical mindset. Dick asks to see him, and Bruce, despite knowing what a bad, horrible idea this is, pulls down his boxers to reveal his cock. Dick shifts his hand on his own cock to mimic what Bruce is doing, and Bruce has the horrible realisation that he doesn't even really know how to jerk himself off. Dear God, hopefully Alfred stays the fuck out of the Cave tonight.

So it's really just more of the same general blocking directions and vibes!

Another thing of note for zero drafts, I try to use as few words as possible to get what I need across. These are only ever intended to be seen by myself and a beta, assuming anyone else besides me even sees them at all, so I use slang and shorthand and leave notes for myself in the text itself

This can be a bit weird for when I show it to betas (or anyone else, for that matter!) because there are some fics where the tone or the vocabulary in the zero is incredibly modern despite the fic being in a historical or pre-modern setting!

And I have yet to actually write the first draft of that one, so I'm going to give you the first draft of the "Cue more smut (but this time against the batmobile 😌)" scene so that you can see the difference between the blocking and an Actual Scene:

Bruce had turned his back to him, bracing himself against the batmobile, and Dick took hold of Bruce's hip to hold him steady when he slid a finger into his hole. A soft moan was all he got in verbal response, but Bruce pushed against Dick's finger despite Dick's best efforts to do this slowly. Chuckling under his breath, Dick slid in a second finger, relishing in the clench of Bruce's muscle as he began working him open. “Easy, B,” he said softly, leaning over him enough to move his hand from Bruce's hip to his cock. Bruce growled and arched into his touch, taking in Dick's fingers completely. “Someone's in a rush tonight, huh?” He didn't get a verbal response, not that he ever did. Bruce rarely spoke while full, relying instead on nonverbal communication to indicate his needs. It hadn't taken long for Dick to become acquainted with his movements back when they started this; after all, fucking was no different from fighting, not for them, not when they had flown side by side across Gotham for more than half of Dick's life. And Dick knew Bruce would always try to get him to rush just a little, knew he'd give in like he always did, wanting to have his cock inside Bruce as soon as physically possible just as much as Bruce did. He wasted no more time, sliding his fingers out and releasing Bruce's cock just long enough to slick up his own. The small whine from Bruce at the loss of contact ought to be ignored, ought not be acknowledged, and Dick knew that, but he couldn't resist leaning over to kiss the small of Bruce's back. Bruce huffed at him, glaring over his shoulder. Dick met his eyes with a grin. Then Dick gripped Bruce's hip again, holding him steady while Bruce leaned back to meet him, and slipped into his tight heat. There was a soft moan from Bruce the moment he bottomed out; Dick leaned forward again to kiss up his spine, keeping his cock buried deep even while Bruce began to rock back into him.

I do think the fic for @ful-crum would be easier if I had proper blocking for the smut, but also I do love a good challenge and you live and you learn, so I'm not super invested in going back and blocking in the smut at this point in time!

And honestly, once the line edits are done that's pretty much it!

I keep a little "posting info" doc for each and every fic I write, to which I add tags as I come to them in writing, so that I don't have to think about what needs to be tagged at the end after I've already forgotten what I've written. That has saved my butt so many times ngl, especially for longfics!

But really what keeps me from posting more often, despite how much I write, is that I fully finish fics before I post them, even if I'm posting them on a weekly or whatever basis. This is mostly because I can't guarantee when I'll need to randomly take several months off of writing, and I don't want to leave anything unfinished, but also because I don't want to actually end up leaving something unfinished for a few years until I cycle back into the fandom

And that's it!! Thanks for tuning in to this little master class :) If I can clarify anything please let me know; I tried to explain everything that I thought needed it but I can never tell what others will need more clarification on!!

And also, thanks again for asking this!! I don't know many people who do full drafts, or even many people who don't completely pants everything they write, and so I'm always excited to discuss my process!! I also am a firm believer in "take what helps and leave the rest," so if you find something in my process that sounds like something you'd like to do, give it a whirl!! I think it's super important to share the different kinds of processes there can be for writing, because everyone really writes so differently, you know?

Anyway, thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoyed my shitty early drafts (very affectionate)!!

#asks #idk what to tag this so that ill be able to find it again lmao #also shout out to whomever told you to resend it bc i was fully prepared to just have a screenshot of the ask and tag you in a post #this was very fun!!! #oh and this is for you and anyone else who sees this: #feel free to pop in my ask box and ask about what i'm working on at any time!! #i could ramble for hours about my wips #and to be able to talk about them is always a pleasure!!!

[islandfate]

is it sad to say … i MIGHT cry over this show today. thanks to a little lost au plotting, i went ahead and took the initiative of writing down every major and interesting plot point in season one. and wow if that didn't bring back a shitload of nostalgia and emotions for this show. plus, listening to lost's soundtrack is like an absolute punch in the gut in the best way.

it's been a lost week ( and year ) for me, surprisingly enough. i rewatched seasons 2-5 back in april and wrote some stuff for ben, which is the first time i've really dabbled in his character since 2017. last week, i mentioned lost to a new buddy and she suggested we watch it together ( since she wants to see billiam's lost video essays ) and i said fuck yeah! so we're doing that tonight. and on tuesday, i think, i met up with some friends at lunch and mentioned lost. again. but! this guy we were sitting with knew about the show, enabling me to talk/rant about lost for what would usually be a little too long, but my rambling convinced my suitemate to start watching it, so i think that's a score! and now the lost au plotting just has me in my feels. i will seriously never forget how special watching lost is, how much it means to me, my first time discovering it ... and the great thing about starting this show when you're ten years old is that, every time you watch it, you understand something new. the love i have for my favorite characters grows even deeper. i grew up alongside these characters and their stories and relationships mean so much to me. i think the reason i've written so little lost fanfiction is because this show is like, the closest to perfect it gets in my eyes? of course, this show isn't actually perfect. but i can't see a way to write something interesting or new about these characters when they already do that.

honestly, though, me and lost are synonymous. we go hand in hand. it is my show and i will defend it till my last breath, misconstrued ending be damned. and aside from bjm, there has never been something in my life that has spoken to me this much. that has touched parts of my soul i didn't even know existed. i'm not a big cryer when it comes to movies or television, but lost is always a tearjerker. not even always in a sad way – it's often the reunions, the character relationships, the touching moments that make me cry. rose and bernard's reunion, two character i don't even care about, makes me cry ( and made my nine year old brother cry ). seeing michael say goodbye to walt in that flashback will never not make me sob. the raft launching and the music swelling in the background always makes me tear up. locke finding out his father conned him to steal his kidney makes me cry SO HARD. every time. desmond and penny reconnecting over the phone??? sawyer telling jack that he met his dad before the crash, and how proud christian was of his son? giving jack that final closure? ben crying over his daughter and saying that locke is "the only one that will have me" ?!? just rips my heart out and stomps on it. i could go on and on about the emotional moments in this show, but i think that's something so great about it. lost doesn't pull its punches when it comes to making you feel. once you get attached to these characters, you're in it. you are not coming out unscathed. ana lucia, i character i don't even like very much, made me fucking cry. because you can just feel her devastation in those flashbacks. they're all just so human, and yes, they're flawed as hell, but i love what they did with these characters. even jack, for as much as i despise him ( until season 6 of course ), i still think he's a great character. and they do a damn good job of making you love characters you should absolutely hate ( cough ben & michael ).

it's just not fair that no one watches this show anymore!! and if i have to be the person that spreads the word, then i'll do it. because i think it's genuinely worth watching. and there's not a moment that's gone by i regret spending time on lost, because it means that much to me. i've watched all six seasons every year since i was ten, sometimes watched it again that same year ( as 2023 is shaping up to be one of those years ), so i've seen this show fully through at least ten times. that's over a whole month of my life spent watching lost. 37 days. and it'll only grow, because i'm taking this show to the grave with me.

anyway. thanks for coming to my ted talk. more lost thoughts will be happening soon, i'm sure – especially after i watch the pilot episodes. expect many more rambles <3

#i've looked into the eye of this island ( thoughts ) #will never get over this show actually #might be tearing up a little bit just THINKING abt it #lost. ily

[daedrabait]

⭐ tell me all about your favorite buddies ⭐

Thanks for enabling my rambling. This question is very vague but I'm guessing you mean my ocs! <3 ask template here

So. I'll tell you about my OC couple first, who I've got an ongoing longfic about that you can read here. I'm going to sum it up without dropping too many spoilers, so the characters and descriptions may be a little vague.

Their story is based off of a Skyrim companion mod called Lucien Flavius. I always liked the idea of the Dragonborn being someone's adventurer mentor and protector while also fighting their own battles.

Theo is the Imperial scholar in the situation - I took inspiration from Lucien, but Theo is my own oc that I've put lots of time and effort into building. He's got that sweet, sheltered innocence of any apprentice but strives to learn and understand both the ways of real people and the ways of the world. He is learning that not everything is as he read in both history and storybooks.

Griffin is the dragonborn - the mentor. He's a Bosmer thief who's had a rough life and struggles to make connections with people that go deeper than skin-to-skin because of his past experiences. Despite all this, he exhibits a kindness and a more patient and tempered way of going about things that makes him extremely interesting. He's a confusing fellow, especially for Theo, who doesn't have much experience with people beyond his own parents.

But anyway - it's a story that came from my partner and I wanting to explore the potential of a whirlwind fastburn romance between a kind, humble, yet wary dragonborn and an overeager scholar. The potential angst was too good to pass up. So I ended up writing out the story about them. I decided to forego the canon events of the Skyrim game and make it into an alternate universe where yes - there are dragons - but there's no Alduin, and dragonborns are just coincidental heroes that keep being born. It also takes place about a decade after the civil war (Imperial victory) because I wanted to add some flavor and thought it would be interesting. Plus both MCs' parents have involvement in the civil war.

Progression in their story has been a little slow up to this point because I struggle to keep writing sometimes but I'm coming onto some important scenes soon so. If you do decide to read it, I hope you enjoy!

Onto Faelon - another Bosmer Dragonborn

Canon events of Skyrim's main quest do happen, but they're weird.

Faelon is an ex-thrall whose spell was broken by Akatosh upon the arrival of Alduin. He is Dragonborn - but so is his sister. Faelon has had many near-death experiences and because of this and the strange consequences of his birth (Serpent sign), Akatosh decided to bless Baela (his sister) with a dragon soul as well.

Faelon's years of being broken down by thrall magic erased his memory of anything before waking up. Essentially, the amount of magical and physical damage done to him by the wizard had wiped his brain clean except for knowledge of basic tasks and muscle memory. He forgot who he was, where he was, and everyone he had ever known. This made things quite difficult for him upon waking. To sum it up simply, he woke up in a cave near Riften, killed his captor, found maps and journals (he retained the knowledge of how to read), found out he was a thrall, and followed the map into Riften. Following cryptic notes scattered about lead him to an imprisoned Khajiit who shed more light on what happened to him.

Inigo was responsible for shooting Faelon and leaving him to die, causing him to be found and enslaved by the wizard. If you've ever had the Inigo mod installed, I decided to canonize the story that he tells the dragonborn about his betrayal into Faelon's story.

Onto Faelon and his sister - yeah, I know what you're thinking. His lore is huge and extensive. I know.

Faelon and Baela share a father - the whereabouts of Faelon's other parent are unknown because he doesn't remember any of it. Baela doesn't know much about their father either, as she was very young when he either died or disappeared. Her mother was never in the picture, having had her and then fleeing to Morrowind. Faelon, the older of the two siblings, raised her from then on until she reached 14 - at which point he went missing after taking a mercenary job with Inigo.

They meet about a decade and some change later in the Ragged Flagon below Riften. Faelon has no clue who Baela is even though she's ecstatic to have finally found her long lost brother - who she had presumed to either be dead or long gone to some other place outside of Skyrim.

Faelon used to be a very compassionate and loving brother. Years of unfathomable abuse and feeling vulnerable had twisted him into something sinister, though, something power hungry and ruthless - and even still, Baela didn't blame him and tries to rekindle their familial bond. We love tragic siblings, don't we?

I talk about Mercer and Faelon a lot. I won't add more rambling about them here, but if you want to know about them specifically, feel free to send me an ask about them. The amount brainworms I have for those two are unending.

I'll also do the same for Veris - I feel like this ramble is long enough.

Feel free to send hyper-specific asks to me, whether they're about ocs or my stories! As long as they don't potentially spoil future events within my main story (Dust and Dim Sunshine), I'll answer them.

#ask games #anonymous #skyrim ocs #fanfic writer #skyrim fanfics #ao3 fanfiction #oc: Faelon #oc: Griffin #oc: Theo #asked and answered #writing asks #writing stuff

[witching-by-the-willow]

To me it's obvious Pride's book will be next, but I will be honest, I don't know how anyone can root for him, much less Vittoria? He torpedoed his entire marriage and let his own wife think he was sleeping around on her because of what people might say about him like this is high school. He's angry at Wrath for the curse when his marriage to Lucia is the main drive for it because he can't take accountability for his actions. I also still can't fathom how Kerri thought we'd accept or like Vittoria's quick turn around either, esp after she did things like degrade Emilia naked and IN CHAINS. I'd much rather have a Wrath prequel instead of all this, but even then, I worry how Kerri would execute it at this point. It just feels like she wants to write Netflix!Bridgerton and the circles of HELL are not the best setting for that imho. Sorry for venting, I guess I just wanted that other anon to know they're not alone on their lukewarm Pride feelings. 🤣

Okay, hello bestie, hopefully this is the time this finally gets posted. 😂♥️

You know what, you're absolutely right.

I get why Pride would do that, because he's...well, too proud to not show off his sin. But buddy, maybe you should not?? Have made your wife think?? You were cheating on her?? Their story is just so filled with miscommunication, and a bit of enabling of the same by Lucia's mother/the First Witch. But tbh, she only wanted the best for her daughter, and maybe if Pride had actually showed his love for Lucia, she would have budged. Because we do know he loves her, because he has never moved on from trying to find her. And with more miscommunication, she didn't bring up her doubts and questions to him either, which is annoying to me too.

Anyway, I think a part of why I want to see Pride and Lucia is because I want to see him put his namesake sin aside and dedicate himself to groveling and falling on his knees for her forgiveness. And well, communication. Please, for the love of god. 🤡

Also YES I know, right? Wrath has done nothing to get the curse, sir. Leave him alone. He has suffered because of it, despite not having had any hand in causing it. 😭

This is not to say I don't like Pride, I do. And I actually think he's quite interesting, so I'm waiting for his book desperately so he can get the development he needs so I can love him (as I love Sloth).

And oh bestie, I am so glad you agree with me on the Vittoria plotline. Her character has a lot of potential, but that last-minute redemption arc was a complete mess. And Emilia and Wrath are way better people than me, because no matter how ancient I was, I would NOT forgive her so soon for making my life hell (no pun intended) for months.

Like, ma'am. You could have made your points and had a conversation with your sister WITHOUT chaining her or poisoning her husband.

Not the mention the sexual frustration from pulling poor Emilia to whatever reason at the worst possible moments lmao 💀💀💀

Oh buddy, the thimgs I would do for a Wrath Prequel.....please, it would solve so many of my problems. I don't even need it to be a literary masterpiece, I just want to see what goes on in his head at any given moment. 😂🛐

Bestie, not the bridgerton comparison I'm akfjajgbajgnang I can't unthink it now 💀

But ngl, I'm looking forward to the stories on various princes. I like the world Kerri Maniscalco has built and I like the characters too. Even if the books turn out to be a mess, I'll probably keep reading anyway, because I just have a lot of fun with this setting.

Also like. I need the book on Sloth. Tell me more about this prince of hell who is a medicine scholar and an introvert and has a massive library in his house that he spends his time reading in instead of getting involved in hell-drama. You can't look me in the eyes and tell me he does not deserve his own book.

Well, this turned into quite the ramble lol. Thank you for this ask, I love talking about these books, and any and all books! ❤️

#anons my beloved #💕 #asks #prince wrath #emilia di carlo #princewitch #prince pride #lucia #vittoria di carlo #prince sloth #kingdom of the wicked #kerri maniscalco

[lilbuddie]

Tag Game 🎶

Rules: put your “on repeat” playlist on shuffle and post the first ten songs that come up.

Tagged by two absolute babes: @thosetwofirefighters and @the-likesofus thank you bbys 💕

First off, 90% of the time I'm awake I have headphones on, listening to something. Music is a big part of my day. I currently have 6479 songs on Deezer and a max amount of albums. I've made countless playlists.

It comes to no surprise at all that some of these songs that I’m about to post are from my buddie fanfic playlists. I actually think only a single one actually isn't on a playlist, though I have so many and have to check to be sure.

Anyway, enough rambling. Here are my top 10 most played songs on Deezer currently:

this one ^ means a lot to me

these 3 make me super sad and immediately throw me in the mood for writing angst.

the first 2 of these 3 are so meaningful. The third one I heard in a buddie edit that quickly became one of my favorite edits of all time.

these 2 immediately have me searching for some figurative pen and paper (more like notes on my phone), and I’m bursting with ideas.

boy oh boy. this one is a current fave. Y’all that follow me know which man from Texas this is about. I mean, it’s so intrinsically tied to one of my WIPs that I couldn’t separate it even if I wanted to.

Thank you again Meegs and Nat for enabling both my music addiction and tag game obsession.

Don’t know who’s already done this or was tagged, but here I’m tagging all of my mutuals:

@belovedbuddie

@writtenmemxries

@buddieinmybeddie

@littlefangirlie

@slycopersicum

@dear-galileo

@rosalie-42

@trippedandfell

@gatekeeperrr

@justsmilestuffhappens

@everything-i-am

@trickster-archangel

@somebodytoundress

@markofalover

@buckndeddie

@yelenasbuddie

@diazfilez

@fearlessdiaz

@pettyeddiediaz

@leandra-winchester

@sherlocking-out-loud

@foreverbuddie

@buddiedestiel

@moonsongbuckley

@buddiecanon2022

IF I MISSED ANYONE PLEASE CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED! ❤️

#minja rambling #tag game #music tag game #thank you nat #thank you meegs #ly both #also hate timezones cause I always wanna talk to you #anyway I love this pls gimme more #❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[constantzeigarnik]

Oh thank god I'm not the only one into crazytrainshipping. Now I got a question here. What is your favorite headcanon for the ship? Mine is Volo rambling about legends or history to Ingo, and Ingo loves to listen to him talk. <;)

Hi, thank you for enabling me. This is long.

Ingo listens to Volo go on a very long winded story about the history of Hisui, because Volo always seems to have a story about any location no matter where they go and he's always so excited to talk about the legends and lore of the land. It takes Volo a short while to figure out that Ingo intensely staring at him with a slightly deeper frown means he is listening intently and very interested. Volo returns the favor whenever Ingo starts talking about trains and train saftey, even though neither of them are quite sure what a train actually is...

My favorite is just that Ingo is Volo's favorite travelin' buddy. Whenever Volo visits the Pearl clan he will stay for a couple of days and catch up with everyone there, until Ingo mentions he has to go back to the Highlands in the morning. Ingo, without fail, always finds Volo there waiting for him on the edge of the settlement ready to go. Ingo never minds, so they walk and talk until their paths go in seperate directions.

Most of the time during these walks, Volo will just tell Ingo about whatever new stories or history he has learned in some new ruin, but sometimes he likes to take a stab at trying to jog Ingo's memories in any way he can. Asks Ingo questions about himself (pretty fruitless), tells him about far off places he could have come from (nowhere sounds familiar to Ingo), and makes up wild, far-fetched stories about Ingo's past to see if anything sticks (this just makes them both crack up in laughter).

The only thing that ever starts to come close to working is once when Ingo mentions that there is something about the fact that Volo often has a big old smile on his face that seems to conjure up some blurry memories... but he can't quite recall why. He says that maybe it's just because Volo has such a nice smile. That's the first time Ingo gets to see Volo flustered.

Volo's Togepi absolutely adores Ingo, and Ingo starts keeping a few of it's favorite berries on him after the little egg runs up to him excitedly the first few times after they meet. Volo's not quite sure why seeing Ingo feed his Togepi makes his heart skip a beat, but it does.

If Emmet ever somehow met Volo through time shenanigans, he would want to fight on sight at first. Not because of anything Volo did or anything personal against him, but because if ANYONE starts dating Ingo, they're gonna get the worlds longest 'If you hurt him nobody will ever find your body' talk ever. It wouldn't matter if it's Volo, or a random girl Ingo met at a coffee stand back home. Volo is 1000% not intimidated by Emmet at all, but lets Emmet have say his piece, for everyone's sake. It would take a long while, but Emmet would eventually warm up to Volo, and the two would make a duo-from-hell type friendship that probably scares Ingo.

I have more but I have to go to work now. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

#crazytrainshipping #volo #ingo #emmet

[szivtalan]

MuraHimu for the character ask <3

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell 

I’m not super involved in either of the characters (as you may know) but personally I don’t really see the appeal. I don’t think Himuro and Mura have anything else in common besides being stuck with each other; they seem to have fundamentally different vibes, ambitions, personalities, approaches and temperaments. And I believe in opposites attract, but they aren’t even opposites, just different, you know? They just happen to be there for each other, and while that’s a pretty realistic way of life, I don’t really sense that kind of spark. MuraHimu to me feels like saying “yeah I need more gay ships, preferably with those good looking fellas, so why don’t we just uhhhhhhh ship them together?” p lazy

#ask and i shall answer #murahimu #yeah himuro cried on mura and mura was pretty affected by it #i'm just stating this because i can already hear people screaming at me for belittling their bond #i am not! sometimes the people you depend on pretty much clash with you personality wise #i just don't think you can have a relationship based on just that #thank you for enabling me to ramble buddy #i hope u meant this one and not the one that's asking for a character that matches my vibe #in which case i am offended asshgdjsgh #himuro or mura is bad enough but the two TOGETHER? rude

[fontasticcrablettes]

Hi hi! For the ask meme:

Zelos: 21, 23

And Flynn: 11, 20, 24

Have a nice day :)

I forgot I started this! Ok Answering now because I love to ramble about my faves, thank you for enabling me!

Zelos:

21: When do you think they were at their happiest?

Probably post-game tbh. He has not been very happy for most of his life! When he sets off on an exsphere quest with Lloyd, that's like... the first time in his life he gets to just go out and live the live he chooses. He finally has friends! And freedom! And a reason to live! Good for you buddy

23: Future headcanon

He uses his money to set up programs to help half-elves and his influence to push for discriminatory laws to be repealed.

And Flynn:

11: What’s the first thing you think about when thinking about the character?

His strong sense of justice commitment to his beliefs.

20: A weird headcanon

This is totally random but I've always had the headcanon that he's afraid of rats.

24. What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?

Flynn only enlisted as a knight for the promise of free food during training/on shift.

Ok it's more complicated than that. Being a knight was always his dream when he was little, but after his father died, his feelings toward the Knights got a lot more complicated. He couldn't stop thinking about how his dad would still be alive if he'd never joined up and resented the Knights for even existing and getting him killed. He also had a deep, nagging fear that if he joined the Knights, he would inevitably die in the same way.

But Yuri as a child was so gung-ho about joining the Knights and fixing everything, and Flynn let himself get caught up in that enthusiasm because he did still have the ideals of wanting to join the Knights and fix things from within. He liked the idea of fighting to protect people, he just felt very unsure about throwing his lot in with the group that got his dad killed. When they were finally old enough to enlist, he was still unsure, but the promise of free food (and a paying job that could provide future food) was very persuasive. That was the justification he gave himself to silence his anger at the Knights in order to follow the idealized plan he'd dreamt up with Yuri.

Flynn has never told anyone how close he came to not joining the Knights at all, and feels like if they knew, they wouldn't think he was so noble and heroic. He just joined for the food... so he's got to work even harder to prove he deserves to be there.

#yurissweettooth #zelos wilder #flynn scifo

[bakuiidaweek]

Hi again, it’s me, the same anon as before who was intrigued about the ship. Thanks to your recommendation at the end of your response to my question, I have been sucked down the rabbit hole that is Bakuiida and I REALLY would like some more fic recs. 🙏🙏🙏

There’s only like 300 fics on AO3 and I fear running out nowwwwww AGH. Thanks for dragging me in I feel like I can’t escape ;-;

-❓

Sorry for the wait, anon but!! I relate so hard to that XDDD

When I was looking for fics to recommend, I spent so long reading that I almost forgot what I was doing XDDD ANYWAY:

pyrrhicwildfire:

“the easy way or the hard way”; confession fic, Bakugou confesses (they have one more but it’s explicit)

 wonhaebunny:

“stillness and sanctuary”; they’re book buddies :D

Bideroo:

All their BakuIida fics (I haven’t read all, yet, but it’s the link to all of them)

Trouble_Cleft:

“something in his eyes”; model Katsuki (they’re still in UA here) asks Iida to be his date for an event (Iida has a crush on Bakugou XDDD)

“catch these hands (for holding)” it’s hard to describe this without rambling forever, but: physical proximity, both unintentionally and intentionally :D

dynamighttiddy (honeygothic):

“secret admirer” ABO (rated teen) Iida is courting Bakugou (anonymously for a little over half the fic)

I hope there’s at least one here that you haven’t read yet!!! I had so much fun with this ask bc I got to read more BakuIida fics XDDD I can’t wait to see more content when this event week comes!! 🧡💙💪

- Mod Wow

Unfortunately, since mod Wow is the cool tumblr saavy one, I don’t know how to do the colored text or the links!! However, here’s a google doc with link sharing enabled and it’s got some bakuiida- if you need more, dm me @puckoftheforest !!! Or just dm me to talk about them. Or just MHA. Or just in general. My point is, I’m friendly and available for more fic recs/whatever y’all need!

-Mod Puck

#bakuiida week 2021 #bakuiida #bnha fic rec #bakugou x iida #iida x bakugou #iidabaku #mha #bakugou katsuki #bnha #iida tenya #fic recs #ask #bakuiida week

[bardic-inspo]

You should talk about your fnv playthrough 👀 and about the sad bald sniper

Ahhh so today has been aggressively bad, this made me giddy and happy to find in my inbox. I will take this invitation to ramble nonsensically and run with it thank you!!

FO4 was my first Fallout, but I’ve played enough RPGs before to kind of get the gist of some the mechanics in New Vegas that weren’t in 4 (like the skills tagging and repairing weapons etc.). Enough to get it, and do it badly, that is.

I know I could have looked a bunch of stuff up and gotten a happier (or...more complete) result with the game, but I sort of enjoy throwing myself into RPGs and seeing what sticks and what blows up. (Same way I ended up with half my squad dead in ME2 WOOPS). It makes for interesting stories! So, with very few exceptions, I didn’t look up how to do quests or get a particular result. 

With that preamble of Megh Does Games Badly out of the way, here’s some random brain soup about my playthrough & Sad Bald Sniper:

My courier (Aubree) maxed Luck and Charisma, but she dumb as bricks.

BUT 10 Luck paid off harvesting infinite caps from blackjack. Got kicked out of Gomorrah for making too much in one sitting. Woops. 

For skills, she focused on guns, sneak, lockpick, and speech and very little else, which....sort of nerfed a lot of options in various spots throughout the game. Also, healing was hard.

Boone was really the only companion I hung out with (I did technically recruit Lily, Rex, Arcade, and Veronica) because I wanted the potato to tell me his secrets. He wouldn’t.

But Liam O’Brien was the real companion honestly.

BUT BACK TO BOONE NOT TELLING ME THINGS. I fucked it up?? He told me most of his stuff, but nothing ever triggered about Bitter Springs. Other people told me about Bitter Springs in front of Boone. And I was like. HEY. BUDDY. You wanna tell me about your war crime?! The NCR loved me to pieces and the Legion was sending kill squads after me, so I figured I was right up his alley. But I never did get that actual quest from him that I, yesterday, looked up and watched on YouTube. I don’t know if, maybe I advanced too far in a questline, or maybe he didn’t actually like me all that much. (Unrequited love). 

The thing I fucked up the most, though, was the Great Khans. I didn’t realize there’s sort of an “order” to how you should do the quests if you want optimal results (or at least the most available choices). Basically, I was vilified by the Legion and had no hope of getting back to the Fort to get that slave ledger and prove to the Khans they were being conned by the Legion. And I tricked Karl into getting himself shot by the Khans, so they didn’t care about his journal after that. Which means the only avenue left was....literal genocide.

I thought, MAYBE NOW, Boone will say something (nope).

Aubs really leaned hard into aligning with the NCR purely because the Legion seemed so objectively evil, and so in comparison, the NCR really seemed like the Good Guys. But she did use diplomacy where possible with other factions (except for the Great Khans).

One thing I was very happy to have pulled off: peace between the BoS and NCR!!!

So, Colonel Moore at Hoover Dam ordering me to just, kill all these factions....that’s about the part where the lightbulb of “You’re not...Good” came on. But I did want to see the NCR ending and at that point, I think in Aubree’s mind, she was too far down this path to turn back.

BUT MAYBE IF HER GOOD FRIEND BOONE HAD SAID WAIT DON’T DO A WAR CRIME I DID IT AND IT’S BAD--

Anyway, even though I failed to get Sad Bald Sniper to open up, the part that really made me soft for him is hearing him be soft when he talks about Carla. He talks about his wife like seeing her was the first time he ever felt the sun on his face. Like he’d been cronching along through dry grass and saw a flower for the first time. And yes, he’s sad and dark and twisty and has some huge trauma to process through that won’t ever really go away. But I’d like to believe that, given a little time, he can feel those things again. Baked potato. Soft inside.

OH also, I had the “petite frame” (might be called something else) trait, which delighted me to picture Smol Courier running around with the anti-material rifle. And “Wild Wasteland”, though nothing ever seemed to come of that one, sadly.

So, even though I’m particularly unhappy with the Great Khans result, and the lack of Realness from Sad Bald Sniper....I have some one shot ideas buzzing in my brain that could have come from that conversation I was hoping would happen before Aubs went through with it. And a lot of fix-it headcanons. And a lot of angsty make-it-worse headcanons. 👀

I think those are the big things I wanted to scream about, but I am down to yammer literally anytime about it, thank you for enabling me!! :)

#megh plays new vegas #fnv #craig boone #courier six #aubree elliot #my oc #fallout

[estelofimladris]

The Healer: Critical Role

[ warning: here follows a long rambling story of feelings about losing a fandom and finding new love and happiness in an unexpected way ]

Here’s a little personal story about how some fandoms hurt and some heal. It goes from Fillory to Exandria. (It feels really right when I say it that way.)

I wasn’t ready for the healing that I got, but it’s here now. Thank Sarenrae.

Everyone loves that thunderstruck feeling when you fall in love with a fandom. It’s literally like all the tropes about falling in love. You meet and sometimes there’s just a spark.

That was me with The Magicians. I spent a year immersed in a welcoming fandom in a show that made me feel seen and whole. I had friends in the fandom as well as the friends irl who were into the show. I got to dive into it when I really needed a fandom to help carry me a little through a hard time.

It was heaven. Until it wasn’t.

In April of 2019, The Magicians broke my heart. Again, just like all the tropes about love. Just like a bad breakup, there’s things about it that I really enjoyed, but at the end of the day, I can’t go back to the way things were with that fandom. No matter how welcoming the fandom remained, I couldn’t go back because the show had cut me so deeply.

Then through 2019 and into 2020, I drifted through some new loves and lived in my love of some of my oldest fandoms. Lots of Star Wars. New excitement from Good Omens, The Dragon Prince, and The Old Guard. It’s not to say that I don’t love these things, but at least two of my new favs are, for the time being anyway, done. And, though Star Wars (and in the same breath my other love Marvel) are never really done, I like loving them in a bubble because as anyone in those fandoms knows it can be a complicated relationship.

Also in late 2019, my buddy @wittynamehere1443 decided she wanted to try and run a D&D campaign for our family of misfits. I hadn’t played since high school (D&D 3.5) and was super excited to get back into it. I picked up quite a bit while prepping to play from a mix of reading, remembering old things, and watching some tutorials and stuff on ye ol’ YouTube. I had dabbled in tabletop, but never thought I’d go charging back in, but once I started I couldn’t stop.

I immersed myself in as much as I could, but I’m really a visual & kinesthetic learner, so eventually I was going to have to supplement my book-learning with some real-play to really understand. I played as much as I could as I delved deeper, but even as I dove, I realized I wanted to do more. I started to write my own campaign setting and adventures. I suddenly found myself needing to just know how D&D worked without having to always have the books open.

Now, I had been lightly introduced to some real-play before I really understood what it was. A buddy of mine had shown me a clip of Critical Role out of context quite some time ago and I really didn’t understand how so many people I knew and shared a lot of crossover interests with could be so obsessed with watching 8 people play D&D.

My buddy who was now my DM had consumed all of The Adventure Zone and had very lovely things to say about it and I had the lingering curiosity about Critical Role form the many people who had recommended it to me as well as the complete mystery attached to why people loved it so. And me, being a big lover of visuals and being at home because of COVID, dipped my toe into real-play with the first episode of Critical Role back in late June.

I did it completely on my own at first, which is rare given that most things I watch, I watch them with my best friend and roommate, @hawkeyekate.

( Also, as a weird note, I’ve managed to deftly avoid most spoilers about Critical Role up to this point and I’m not completely sure how. I know one big one in Campaign 2, but until yesterday (when I watched the first episode of Campaign 2) I didn’t even know the classes of 1/2 of the Mighty Nein. I didn’t even know Sam played Nott until about three weeks ago. That bubble has come in very handy. )

I immediately began to get out of it what I was originally there for: great real-play with explanations of rules (especially vs. house rules and the whys of everything). Watching the cast fumble through transitioning from Pathfinder to D&D 5e was very helpful to me because I had some similar questions from the figments of memory I had from 3.5 as well as my other random tabletop experience. I was completely inspired and found myself cranking through pages upon pages of my own world and campaigns as well as delving deeper into my characters that I’d been honing already.

I quickly noticed that I was worrying less about the rules when I played and was getting to enjoy my character for who he is. I was starting to craft interesting mechanics and not just story in my adventures I was writing.

Lightning had struck and suddenly I was in love in a way I hadn’t been in a long time.

As I was watching Critical Role, I definitely wasn’t just learning to be a stronger DM and a better player. I found myself able to tell the twins apart. I was invested in the mysteries as they unraveled in Exandria. I hung on Mercer’s every word.

Then without warning, when the party said goodbye to Pike in Vasselheim, I found myself in tears. I don’t know why but I remember being so struck by that moment. I knew it was partly because Ashley was leaving for New York, but the story for Vox Machina hit a soft spot for me. I was no longer just watching 9 people play D&D. I was invested in the story, the characters, and the world.

I was suddenly a Critter.

I think notoriously at this point, when I fall for a fandom, its often connected to a character. I saw in Vax’ildan a lot of things that really sucked me in from the beginning. He is at the same time like many of my favorite characters of my youth and like many of my favorite characters as an adult. I feel like he’s my heartstrings manifest in a lot of ways, complete with many of the flaws in that.

Then what was a slow crawl accelerated. I would occasionally ramble to @hawkeyekate about the adventures of Vox Machina and it would be on when she was around, but she wasn’t exactly watching it with me. Then at some point during “The Trial of the Take”, she was suddenly sitting with me to watch. She was asking me to pause when she had to go do something - and wait for her.

We were watching together.

We were acutely aware of how the twins echoed things in us and that often we are referred to in the same sentence in the same way. I had my Vex’ahlia.

Only a little over a month later, we’ve battled Briarwoods and now we’re hunting Vestiges and gathering allies. It is a rare day that we don’t watch a little Critical Role. I sport my “Gilmore’s Glorious Goods” shirt. I’ve read Vox Machina: Origins and am making plans for two cosplays already.

I’ve also DM’d six sessions of my first adventure-turned-campaign in my own world I’ve built, Perlen. I play tabletop two-to-three days a week with my friends via the internet. I hoard dice.

I’ve fallen in love again and this time it feels safe.

I know good and bad things will come for Vox Machina ahead. I know the same can be said for The Mighty Nein in my future as well, but the Critters in my life have been so welcoming and it’s been so nice to have something new to talk to my friends about. And I trust the cast of Critical Role not to destroy things just because they made them like The Magicians creators did, a trust I didn’t think I would grow back any time soon. I know that some of the pains in Critical Role aren’t just scripted but are actually to chance, which gives me comfort, too. People live and die by the dice in tabletop and I can abide that. It doesn’t mean I won’t cry and ache every time something bad happens to them because I love them all.

So I will go running through Tal’dorei and look forward to Wildemount while I carve out the mountains and seas of my world of Perlen. I’ll cry when they hurt and smile every time Pike and Grog talk. I’ll be healed the way that stories can in ways I didn’t expect, which has now happened much more than once.

I’m here now and I love it.

[ special shout-out to the Critters in my life that have been so welcoming. Especially my super-enabler, @oniumbra. ]

#critical role #thoughts #personal #d&d #posts like this make me miss livejournal #because i'm also fandom old yall #the magicians

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars:         Season 2

      Episode 1 Holocron Heist

We just   had     a heist

[One   nonsense    enough    to knock    me into   nonsensical   incoherent      rambling...]

    Two

Okay...

I’m prepared...

To do.   nonsense...

  Urgh

   Okay..

[Title      Screen]

  [Woah!]

    ....  ..    

Aight

    Okay

A lesson learned,    A lesson earned

Oh..

     That         snapped me out of it,

     A lesson earned                  is           a lesson earned

        [you don’t need a        person to tell you     basic         common sense                                you can figure out yourself]

  ....

   Assumed authority is     bullshit                                       Don’t need to                                    earn any-      [Sorry,              Still           Recov-       er-         ing           From           Last          ep-        Isode]

                  Okay...

                   Any-way

                   Jedi on a                        planet                             . .

                     Some-how                         tr                            ap                               ped                                 -                          Surrounded                               Clones                                  -                                Right-                                     -                           Why?

                           Like - if you needed parts-

                           Okay-

                             I’m                                  in  

                               -terested

                                 Any way...

                                     Wait                                      cruisers?  

                                      Gun   ships?                                                                   R-escue

                                       Oh                                              wait-

                                          That’s                                              Good

                                            Oh                                                  No,

                                              It’s                                                    Plo..

Jokes       About       How       He      Got       His      Men      Blown      Up                         Just                                gonna                                 put                                   this                                 over                                 here

                              Been a                                 while

Also Hey     yeah      what         is         he        doing         here?

  Doesn’t         he       have      Jedi        things        to       do?

      Get           a         new         fleet?

        I mean                th-            (Don’t                Condone               Child               So-                L                diers!)

  But    every     time       it’s     always    Obi-Wan      and    Anakin    because        all         the           rest        of          them        are         too        busy

     So             What-

     Alright          -          Whelp           -          I      don’t       care         —-

   Whelp          —        Ex-plo          —         Is      this       just       going         to       be       an     action        piece?        (Nothing       wrong        with           that;           just        need           a      different      mindset,)

     From          the     applications             of        child       soldiers           -          To          Shoot-

    -Why?

      It’s-       Nice-

-Droids

   Plo-

 General-

     ?

Ev-

Neat-

Good-

 Whelp-

  Grab ‘em to the medic        And Go!

   (Seriously       Windu figured this out yesterday.)

    Grunts

    You’d         think        the Jedi would give the      order?

Seriously,         Good miss,          Five           Min-           Got          Some           One-          Killed

   “ Asoka,”

   First Asoka       mention in the first five minutes

                                [maybe they got her character                                     better.]

                                  -Jungle

                                    You sent-                                         A child

                                    That                                        Logically can’t improvise                                      ...                                              Into                                              a jungle

                                      ....

                                      The  

                                     Fuck    

                                    Skywalker?                                     

Con-tact      Her        -         Dead      -       She’s very likely      dead-       -      Anyway       -        Hope   Anakin     taught       her    those    moves-       -      That’s       a      lot       of     emotion          -           In        the        movements;         Again;

     Monotonous,           Stunted,            Robo              Tot              -ic

         That’s                How              Child-

Nope-

   Tone’s          Off

So,         just           to           go            over;

       1. Tone ❌        2.  Dia-                  Log                   Ue- (?)

        3. Move               -ment    ❌

              I’m hop-

Extract-

     Taught-  

     Okay- 

     Teach         -ing   s

     Aight           Mary          Sue-

      I’m        sorry         but         the        light          is       literally       coming         out!

      Whelp-

      Okay-

        So it’s Ahsoka an    adult yet?

         Like that can be explained away as   acco-untability

          Otherwise,     she should   have a hard time        with        one       Droid!

      (No wait didn’t Obi-Wan just call her                  ‘young one ‘)?

                 Nope!

           Movie, get over there in your               shame corner

  That-        Was painful       over-      reacting

 And         Focus-

   I    Don’t        -      You    couldn’t      have     forced          it     more             if     you    tried         -

        The             Force-           d cha-          nge i          -n         Perspective           Not      Apprec  -iate      D-        . . .    .      Moving         on

  Whelp        ...

    Get            In          -

   That’s           a      direct      order-         -

  “Can’t-”

   Nope!

   That’s            It-

   Tone ❌

   Dialogue; ❌,?

   Move;   ❌    Ment

  Turn in your bad  

  writing card,    

   Movie

   ❌

 (Not a series strike,        Just             A          “Fuck         You,          Strike

          On the            Movie                 And,                This            Chara              -cter

                               (We just had such a good-

                                              Maybe; it gets better?

                                                                               Skipped ahead;                                                                                          It doesn’t

                                                                                       Sigh-

                                                                              *Puts on earmuffs

                                                                                 Meta-phorically

Aight      Back        To       19:06      (Original      time     stamp;           Play

*Think

 Friendly      Fire-

 Nvm

*Thing      Ex-plodes

   In-       stantly

Whelp-     

 You   called       her   before      a   council            ??

   Child          -ren          Can’t          Think           -

Okay

        Movie

       Children                  can’t                         think-

    From ag-

      “This is-”. 

       It should                    be   

         -But                           The              writers                        -                refuse                      to                  write                                  her                                   as                                   child                           -       

The       Pro-

“I-

The          Pro-            Blem         As         the     story       seems   to         be        placing            the               Jedi            on            a            high          pedestal     

        .....                Their             actions               here                as              reasonable       

           .....                         But                          it’s                  not                            ...                If Ahsoka was a child it would be a cruel use of power showing how used only to put the younger generation down before they’re                  old enough to understand it

              And how they’ve given Anakin the illusion of power   

                  -Boomer                               Bait

              If she’s an adult;                           This would be a show of        how             she’s childified by her peers

               As it stands;       

               The writers refuse to chose

Concerning,  due to the fact that  

Child-ify                 Ing            An                Adult       ......    Is    Wrong

  And      adult-ify        ing        a       child       is    wrong         ...      

  Un        equivocally,

Tally    Of       How     Many       Times       Ahsoka-        Is        Adult          -ify          Ied-           ;     

      This is necessary

 [Excuse for odd formatting           The “Movie”,                (Under the                picture)                  Caused                    Tumblr                    To                  heck                   up                  my               spacing)

           Continuing                   on;

“Time    away      from     the      battle-       field,”

  Good,        For          A        Child       Solider        -     (And   would’ve     been       a     good     show      that      any     kind   -ness     from     them       is   performative           ...

                   “Guard duty,”

Tally   Of      How   Many      Times      Ahsoka-       Is      Adult         -ify        Ied-         1

 Cite;      Child     ren    Don’t       have     that    much   emotion,        Nor    Pre-      fer      ence-        -

                 “Longer                       now,”

                    Dick                         —-                     Kinda

                     It’s                          better                            for                           children                             not                              to                               be                                in                              battle                                  —

                              So                                 not                                     a                                  complete                                    dick...

                                But                                   not                                    optimal...

                                 “Sorry”

So he said by people who don’t wanna take accountability for their actions and just stop doing the thing and     stop bringing the toxins into the world                                  

Point;     If you    were sorry    you would       stop     doing it,       stop     bringing         it        up,       and            do      better...     —-       Trying         to       control         the      narrative         isn’t          nice          (When           the          truth            is        objective)

       Only           the           self           may            be          both             .....

Security      -

  “Knowledge,”

    *Bag-age

      “Hm,”

  . .. .

   ...

...

Fisto  

...

 In-side

 St-upid      Forbid       Den    

Know-ledge

   (It’s likely   about     plants        Or      Weapons)

Also;

     Boomer         Bait!    

     (That’s something they offer younger         generations to follow their           stupid outdated tradition)

      It’s always          worse...

     (Also, this isn’t about Ahsoka trying to steal the         Holocon thing is it?

      Because her character is already                                                  -hateable- enough

        And if she has enough initiative             to steal the holocon

          - She’s an adult

           And should              be allowed entrance             anyway

          “Jedi            Council,”

             So,                  lady was a Jedi?

               Aight,

                Keeping an eye                     on that                        ...                  Aight                       -   

                 No

                 Went through one.                     drug trip

                   Already

                   .....

                 [Okay...

                ..Got                   a Drink                  of water                   ——                        Interrupt                     -ion

                  Wait I thought he was just a                     ball of                     fuck your plot

                  You’re telling me he actually works                      for                       Palpatine?

After   threaten       ing      Palpatine?

   This      dude           -        fucking         drug           trip            -

...Ser     vices

    I       honestly       thought          he         was             a          [fuck           your          shit]            guy

Now    he’s      a     de   tec- tive

Noir    ....

Movie     that’s      too      many     genres        .....

  You-     need       to    slow   down      .

          Your main            Chara-                   Isn’t                 Even               Esta-                    Blish                      -ed                      Prop                          er                         Ly

            Nevermind                    the           characterization

                 Note if it had been established he changes things every so often that would be neat

                 As                   it stands

               This                  dude is a                 fecking roller coaster

             Not any                thing                resembling                   good

[Giving    your      aud-   ience     a       drug   trip   isn’t   good   writing]

      It makes        them         dizzy!]

      So...       

    Holocron

    Like Palpatine is literally doing this just to fuck over       Ahsoka?

     Also, this is going to result in Ahsoka    being     unchild     -like       To take them out      too?

   I’ll get the -      counter     ready

[yes I have seen it    literally            every   Mall cop/ security guard movie   ever

The   fun     .    seeing how your    (Good)    chara      cters         -     interact     with      the   scenario          -       That’s      not   happening       here        -          If she was a child this would show how    Anakin‘s orders react with the environment

    If       she’s      an    adult;        We’re working through a checklist;         About        what we know about         her;

      Likes, dislikes, how they might come up in a   situation...

       The suspension...            coming when they do

With      Ahsoka...

  What do we know about her?

   Honestly?

    We know she likes         fighting         (Already in enabler of toxic behavior           -against other living beings)

       We know literally       nothing else about          her

       Except...

      That she’s      perfect...

Re-moving         All      Tension;

  Deal

I’m surprise he just wasn’t like    oh      yeah      sure,”

   [Ditches         with       the money]

    ...         ..

   Oh they’re actually talking   strategy

   Usually it’s just         ‘fuck em’ up            And that’s all             we ever           hear

Er-

Whelp-     Yodi’s    dead

Alas,       Poor      Narc

[assuming he can actually sense     disorder in the ranks]

 Gen.      Leader      Ship.      Tox

 He should know     he shouldn’t be doing that

  Focusing     on him       self

    And        practic        ing     accountability          ....       Constantly     micromanaging           and      checking            in            on             your           peers                   ..            Isn’t           going          to make             them           more           likely           to be       accountable..

        It’s         going            to          piss         them             off              ...

      Your (evident) distrust creating a toxic environment              As you were refused to               trust their   char   -acter

  You can’t give me   respect the guy that was just snooping      (Through the whole   uni-verse)

      That’s           the         point...

         A         dis-turbance          in the force

     Yeah?

     Intruders there will   be

     Okay, bullshit       he can see that

   Like;           Peri-pheral            Okay

    (Still tox that you don’t expect your peers          in a peripheral.          to be able to hold             accountability)

But this is galaxies     away        (Ac-tually.    on    Corousant)

  But.      He         Should        n’t       Know        That-

  ‘The      Narcs    pulling    authority     again,       master,”

  “Shh,       this         is         what         we        train-    I mean groom -        you         for!,”

     “But          You            Said,”

      (Con-tinuing             Earl-ier,)

   [Seriously        I meant to bring it up                                earlier,

             But are they really inhabiting                      Zero the hutt’s                         old hotel]

Like it could just be a Noir hotel

 But the positioning       and location         seem         familiar             . . .

     Tell        me...

    Who          the       frick           is          this?            ?

   “What            you        are      doing      back      there?”

    ...   ..

  Aight...

 Assis      -tance

    God          Lord,           He’s           Try             -ing

        -

    Main     tenance

     If I don’t idea   (who this guy was )or what was going on    then maybe that would make sense

       As it stands,             Nope,

        Crash-               es

        What’s             that?

         ....

       What?

       Seriously.             all he did was put another thing into another thing?

        ???

        ...

      Aww, he actually trusts           Bane..

    Thank you         ...

    Door..

    Techno         Service         ...       Droid

     As in a      “tech      -nical  service droid?          (Rt          (IT)     Tech             Guy?

     Or a technical     assistant         (One made of       tech)?

      (Or one specializing in    techno dance moves?)

     Also   is he supposed to get them      in?

  Is    that thing?

 They-   didn’t     really     establish     much-

 Butler      Droid...

Change?

 Todo...   “You are what I say    you are,”

Roomba- kicker

Also, having a roommate is just straight up       detective fiction...

 Like     buddy-cop detective but still     detective

  With noir,      Which       is supposed to be focused on independence        Dis(trust) in society        Which is       admittedly       (toxic)

   Or         seems          to be

     Those two   themes...

          Directly contra-      dictory

[with   Griev-      ous     they       made       it    work,     But     he   wasn’t      this    -         ]

“Uh,”

You    are    not   “The   Doctor,”       -      [that work      ed as    manif-   estation      Of    Greiv-     Ous’s      Toxic    Be-      Hav       -ior-         And      Human      Want        For        Com-        Pan    Ion-        Ship        -       Or         At        Least-      Vul-          Ner-          Aba-              ili            Ty-           -           This          Guy            -          So far he’s a       n(e)igh        invulnerable       Douche          Bag            -            With           No            -thing          Humane-            -           Not           quite      Ahsoka         levels              -       Intend       -ed           To be          an adult            -          Just-            -            Really needing to go     ham -           On the arrogance            And            inhumanity               (He sold his soul for      money- But makes it look      so good- what                    he                   does-                  Gets a sick       kinda  enjoyment from it,”)

             That’s how you   have,  to pull it off

             As it stands;    there’s      no    emotion     with      this    character

Is   the   robot   supposed to be like his   morality pet?

But he’s a   dick to   him   too

Really   he gets nothing   from me

How do even in the    “I-don’t-feel-anything-I’m-so-edgy-and-cool     look at me!’

  Vibes

   There’s nothing     fun...

   Yeah you can throw all the   ...clichés         you want in there

   [But that doesn’t work       if you don’t use them          properly]

     [I see the team up        with a female bounty       -hunter]

    [Predictable         “I work Alone...]           The only thing          those stories               share

            In minute]

But ‘once the effect of’   ‘wow that’s a lot of things.    Has worn off

 The story and character left   heartless

“Non-of- your       Bus-        iness,”

  Doesn’t have the     cockiness to make it      work

  [this isn’t    power-         Ful-]

    Down       right        ..cringe

      As it tries to shove shove two genres.. .    At least...        That don’t          Quite          .work                ...

        Least not the   way they’re trying to make them     work  

.....

..Today

 It’s noir

 The point is      no one’s          in a    good mood.. ...

Aight,

Wasn’t that-

Also,   shouldn’t      he    know-

 Based on how      open-     She     is-      To un-     veiling        her       mask..

   - -

   Robot

So sh-   ouldn’t she ask the robot to leave the room?

(If it’s such a big deal     to her?”)

   He can just run their       face through a     face scan       no?

 Mid-rim

   I thought he didn’t have a way   in?    [That’s a   pretty pathetic   way in.. .]

    [Palpatine’s      screwing           with            him]

       [Giv           -ing            Him             a          hard          time         and       satis    -iating           -          The    ab-    omin-      ations    desire      for    blood🎵,

    Two      birds,         one       stone,

     Also,       Movie,           That’s           the       wrong      amount         of      planning           for        the      wrong      genre          -        We don’t care how the   bank ro    -bbers      Art      -thieves

      Got           There

       This           isn’t           Heist              -           [Money           Heist,              Not              Terr-              Esc]             Got              It           Wrong              [Pre              dict-                   The                  Plot-]               Last                Time.                -

           The                 Focus              isn’t           Character              building-                  - it’s the                   ‘out of depth                     characters reaction to the                    scenario,’

And the wacky hijinks that    ensue

 Using their   talents...    

   Contrast-      ed against the environment        (Mall        cop        example]     

     Which seems to be the best       fit

   Stealing         the-  Holocron-           -         WHAT WAS THE         PURPOSE-

        Well-                At least they ack          -now-ledged                 Planning          really isn’t part of the subset,

                 Good                    (For them?)

                Aight                    Impossible                     ...

             What are the              emotions?

           [like they              literally.             just through in                   the              “the only place...”

             Why..?

             So quick rehash                    (Sorry                      but I can feel the                        drug                          trip coming through,)

                      (Effects-                             Of                            Dealing-                           With                              (bad) excess character;

                         (Deserts                               Metal...)

                       [Refresh]

                       He has a map of the Jedi temple                            Chip                            (Oh so that’s what that-                              (Isn’t he                            still-)  

                    [Changlin’]

                     Aight

                 Bog

                  [Refresh                        End]

                  [Voice                       acting?

                  [Mouth                         sync]

                      ...                        ..                      Aight

                      ..

                    In                         Tru-

                   Maybe                       take                        the                       teen- off guard duty

                     A thought

                    [but-seriously

                       No high                           Alert?

                        Only these   two..?

                        Info-     -Mation

                      Baggage

Seriously money would be a better   option

                        Or       just    street     cred

                     (Adult) humans,                         Aren’t that Liniar...

                    Any way...

                    East   Tower                          ....

  Well that’s better than some   dusty    old     books        -      Holos

  (Seriously at least that’s   present    baggage.)

  Whelp

   Nobody       notices         this       bullshit!

       On a supposedly          secure a       military          base            ....        ...

      Also in the Mid- day break           fecking           daylight!               (With the         hiest it made sense,                 That was a hostage                 political situation                Meant                  to draw in a huge                                              crowd;

               How?

              Cool                   Alright,

               Hey                   isn’t                   she                supposed                     to                      be                    standing                      still?

                 (Guard)

                  Doing patrols?

                   Like                       no                    emotion,                       Face                     Forward,                    Professiona                  -lism

                Not                 Greeter

             (Didn’t they literally call it       guard duty?)

              Like just say you’re sending her to   library service...

              Assis                  -tance

              Again,                  Wrong                     Field...

              They’d                    be                  talking                     to                    the                  library                   helper                    (Official)                      Con-

                 Bother

Not   how a   child   reacts Tally   Of      How   Many      Times      Ahsoka-       Is      Adult         -ify        Ied-         2/3  

   Cite;      Asoka       shows    intentional       over involvement      instincts        more       befitting          of          an          adult            ....

     Good

     Fully    understand        able      reaction          (Kinda)

    (Don’t          yell         at       children)

      Don’t      over involve       yourself             in          the          future            ....

    (But if you’re an        over-         involv         ed         and           (un-)childlike       abomination              (Getting          shoved             for              this                is               likely                 going                  to               happen)

              Dude was actually nicer than       an adult

             Enabler

             (Rule                    Of                    Excess                   Society;                    While                   excess                  verbalization                         is                      ex-                  pected,                   Getting                   in                     someone’s                   way                    (non-sport                        Ing-)                         (Or con     -ferr       ed-)            U-pon

                       Is                          not,                            Attemp                          ting                            to                          move                           them                             away                               the                           customary                                five                              times                                is                            expected)

                            Aight,

So the librarian was right there as     she     harassed        her     client)

    (Not saying;           But           you should get involved        in tox that doesn’t involve you)

      Just don’t         think that would excuse           Her         from ire

      “I can’t do anything right,”

Tally   Of     How   Many     Times     Ahsoka-      Is     Adult        -ify       Ied-       3/4

 Cite;      Child         -ren          Aren’t aware of      self        Ahsoka would repeat a line      blank       -ly

   “Likely      ‘sorry’

   Then back   away

  [Or      the      or     dered    rea       ction-)

    Aight

   Whelp

   Yes

   Just at the librarian be the      pro tag

(She’s      Tox        But..    .        Less         Tox..    ...

   But           Still..

  [Make         [Better]   Pro-ta  g        Than      Ahsoka           ]     

   In..   ...

  That’s a        library   computer..

   You      need        a      pass-        word.       -    The     robot-

   How?

  -

  What?

  Weak     Point?

  You know for     Boomer bait         They      mis-construe        How the library        works a lot

     [I know           -Hav-             Ing            Dealt-]

       Talk-ing            in the            library,

         Is pretty           off

         Like there’s        a reason people are encouraged            to go into the hallway             to take phone calls

          Loud

         These are the guys that value    meditation

          Dude.     Would be shushed       By   Several     irate      Jedi          ...  

    Told to     take it      outside          ...      ...

   I-

[I feel bad   For the Roomba]

[like dude, gaslights him      and then takes       his memory]

Like, Adults      Out     of     it.   ...

  But      ...Droids

   [we don’t know much about the       sentient ones     Or how much   senti ence]

    But          this         whole       scene...

    Makes me feel     dirty

    Like;       it’s played     for humor

    When;       it should be played            to how much         a bastard           this guy               is

      Screw-   ing         with       anything-  

       Like            That              ...  

      Toxic            ...    

      Sick..

  How?

     Aight..

    What.         .

    Re-          Cyc

    Why?         ... ..

Kenobi

Jump-ing coincidence

     [i’m con   -clusion]

       Damn,        the narc

         [No one   tell him   anything]

   [Might       fake         a       heart       attack]

    Comm.

     [How half assed is         Yoda’s peripheral?]

     Venti -lation

  -That’s        Smart-

   Almost       -Too             -Smart-

        👍  

  -Tower

    High         Alert

   Place            the       Temple        -

    Wasn’t, already?

    Left it undone

   Way to go     smart     guy           -      Cool        -        But      kinda    pointless..

 Aight-       Never mind

  I-  Might’ve       Been      Wrong-

 Al right

[Seriously,   no one hears this?]

 [In most heist movies      they at least had the    intelli-     gence-

    [No hate       -villains can be stupid]

  Do you some small well           re-lativel unknown library

   [or at least not the one     at the place they were robbing]

   Because everyone would      recognize that the actions occurring match up to what he’s describing         And the description        Of their       building.]

   Aight

   Neat-

   Past

  Whelp-

  Aight-

  Shred-          (Un-acc         Oun         T-able)

     K-Pop

     Well        that’s            a       name...

    Whelp..

Cool.. ..

Bane    ...

Whole..     temple

   And I heard you very          obviously        plotting...  

   So...  you’re getting kicked

Also he could be possibly looking up     intruders plans.. ...

Like pretty one dimensional     opinion    of on ‘High Alert’, lady

  [Especially       for a         librarian.]

Thank    you

 Whelp...

  There went my expectations

   Also,     Every Jedi leaving the library didn’t notice that that     shit?

   Like,  they didn’t have guard’s ready to apprehend him 

   ...On the           Other              Side?

         Okay...

         You just           moved her...

         Do you know this could’ve been an episode             with a lot of emotional depth              Showing how terrifying adults that abuse children can be             adults that            swear to have their interest in heart               And how overinvolvement               Is harmful              regardless of who it’s coming from                (Neglect- of child-                   And - accoun                       tability)                   Working off the                “blank line”,                 ‘I can’t do             anything right,’                    And the Jedi                -Council’s treatment of                   her                “Foreshadow                   -Ing,”                    (I use              that word              loosely)   

            Their            down-                fall

             Instead                     we                got                  this-

           And              he just abandons            the computer-

     Aight,             Just contin          -ued on - with          -out his         instruction

       Despite          see-ing           how bad           that          went.       Al-right

     Okay-

    Aight

    Really?

   Without    instructions?

   .

   In

    Calls       friend

     You were               fine       without him       the last few        seconds              .....

      “Give-”

   Not gonna      question that?

      “Voice-”

       She’s            a changling..

            “Now,”

          Hidden

          You’re              in a vent?

           Oh, Skywalker has           immediate            intuition               ...

           And a breech           didn’t somehow sound off alarms

          Yeah. .             Good..thing you didn’t close up the thing              ..

        Whelp..

        How?

       Okay. .

      Shame..           they didn’t get a hold of a force sensitive         kid             (I- don’t want it to       happen)

       Just-

      .. .

   .. Here

     Hurry          I can         Hear..       .        Bull-        Shit         .

   You have rocket boots        they have the force

    You shouldn’t         hear shit-

   Sur-prisingly,         No Ahsoka

     Good

    The lower       the counter stays..   

       The        better          for       humanity

 [and my      brain]

   [Vent]

   Seriously,       you didn’t tell your       partner?        About the Jedi on       High Alert?

   Ser-          Force-

   How deep         is that        thing?

   [Aight,          Pat-

    You’re telling me they still haven’t figured out the        Holocron?

     We only           saw-

     Shouldn’t one of you go one way and the        other go the other?

    To cover     more ground?

    They’re-        Really       putting       a lot      of faith-

In the   Comms

  Also shouldn’t there be more   Jedi crawling over the place?

   Seriously,         it’s just these two?

     [We know Plo       isn’t doing anything important.]

    [We saw       him near the opening?]

    And        Kid Fisto..

     Heck...          Is   everybody else doing?

    A-ight

   “Closer,”

    Shouldn’t it be      ..further

     Archive..     [Library]         Comms?

     Got it-

     Whelp..

      Okay..

      Not, putting up that       door,

      What are you         smiling about?

      There’s plenty of lasers

     And      you don’t even know        where the thing       you’re looking for               is

           (Inside the compartment)

      ....

   Aight

   Might- not have been a   smile-

    Look for       the open         vent   

    (Dude clum-           Un-          Acc             ountable)

       With             Vents

        Also look at all these        assholes standing around          doing nothing

  Also, no one’s going to check up on the child 

  Like, Ahsoka surely got that message      right?

   Temple-

   Deep in the         temple-

   Use-less

      ...

    ‘Cause you’re idiots       who don’t check for open vents           Or cover      more ground?

   Or...  

    [Get, anyone to help you, in this big ass vent,”

   It’s not very hard to see       why.. .

   Ass         -itance

  Ahsoka’s,         not gonna get blamed for this      is she?

   Won-

   Yeah, the narcs      pretty     useless

    Also, why can’t you have the dude just shut off those lasers like he did the rest?

  Done

    Oh, they address it   

     Good,

     Yep,

     How?

     But...

   Okay...   

...

    Okay   

   ....  

    What’re you         still       doing          ...

   Okay,

  What’re        you      doing?

   [Is the Holocron seriously right       there?]

     That’s. lucky

      Weirder               and             Wei-rder

         Hey isn’t your personality        over-written?

           By the               chip?

            Aight

          S-eriously?

         Still              Here?

         On- alert-?

Coin-     cidence?        !

  Augh

    Is that’s seriously the alert?

     Several          minutes-

       No wonder         those guys           were so late...

          ...

       Sense           De-          Cep          Tion

     Po-          S-ing            As            A           Jedi.

       Okay           now         Yoda’s            just         reading             the          death               report

     Jo-casta

     What?

       But           that’s         actually             a           good            idea                -              If shits about to go down you might as well find the person who might hold them accountable instead of letting you get the shit beat out

       Run-

       Serious-ly           shouldn’t she just shout out her name?

       [Like I know                       - High Alert-                     But Ahsoka isn’t going to be much use against a                    Adult...                Either way                                        Might as well   find her [and     scare off the intruder-]

  Also how come     “innocence”        doesn’t get           the same notification

       Did they forget his              wristwatch?

       [Like-            seems important-]

       Who are you?

           Dang                 It?

            You               were             supposed                  to                report                 back!

               Also no one           heard any of this before

           Also; are you going to tell me that AHSOKA, the child   soldier,      Is going to beat this guy       When      the fully trained elderly Jedi got her ass kicked?

   Nah.. .

   “You,”

    Dead

Tally   Of      How   Many      Times      Ahsoka-       Is      Adult         -ify        Ied-           4/5

   3x

-Un-orthodox show of initiative              1x

-Counter          1x

- Surviving this            1x

(4x) 

  Getting her on the           run!

        1x

Tot; 7/8

-Surviv-ing;

   - 1x         - 1x

    -1x

    -1x         -1x

    -1x

    -1x

    -1x

    -1x

   -2x         (I’m tired of counting them        one by one-)

     -2x

     - 2x

     - 2x

     - 2x

     - 2x

    - 

    Er

    Okay

     Whelp

    Aight

    -Right

    Shape

    -Skill

     -Ew

     Whelp

      Okay-

      Where did         your get your skills from?

     Abomination?

     Aw-  

     Todo-

   -Yet

    What-ever

    Butler

    Tech

   Neither         of       which       have     anything        to do         with       ironing        doors        open           ....   

      ....       There       he goes

     Sy-mpathesize-  more with him            than this douche bag even if his          turn does make a little sense

     Aight.

     Whelp

      Finally found that          vent.. .

       Right

       No, he wasn’t

      “Comms,”

        Not            Holo-          Cron

      .....

     Completely un-realistically        

Tally   Of     How   Many     Times     Ahsoka-      Is     Adult        -ify       Ied-        28/29        And         1/2

    (1/2 because referring to the action what respectively doesn’t count as a whole- sin-          It does deserve note that you decided to repeat your bad writing-)

         Jedi

   She       Says-

  (Un       Be        Li       Ev        Able)

 Holo      -cron

 Jedi       To      Open      It     ..  

Okay,   

..   

Up-     To-

 Again, with the   communication     center-!

  Dude, just wanted a   Holo-cron

   (Seriously        that was very tortured      logic,       Think the writers;     just wrote this scene        Then realize but wait       “why are they in the Holocron/             Comm           Cent,?”

     And that’s how        Anakin/Obi-Wan           Obsession with the com      center began...

    [sorry but there was no reason for them to be in the        Com center!

      That I’ve heard!]

   In

   Aight,      What?     What       -ever

   ...  ..

  Wrong-

    Yes

    Com-          Center-

    Ser-iously     even he doesn’t know what’s up

   You   heard      me

  And        my     stupid      plan

    To send you to the     Coms center to justify Obi-wan’s     obsession-

    Craw-          ling

     And we have no reason      to-o

   Why?

    Now!

   Yelling- doesn’t mistake the clear lack of   reason

   What-     ever-

    Right

    That’s one way      to do it

    Really

  Also, how does   -that not-

That was less than   one minute

Also,   but no one else will hear that but   these two      . .

 And they’ll   still progress to the   comm center        ...

“It came from the com center,!”

   How!?

You, guys,

  Comms,       Archives,

   Aight,       Nice

  Com-munication        center-

    Ha-           ha-          ha-    (I’m sorry   but that has come back around      to kinda funny,”

 [something Happens across the     galaxy]

Obi-won; It was the com’s center

—-

Aight,    right, 

...

O-kay

...

How??

 Where?

 Okay      ...

Cloak       Ing?

 What?

[you can’t defy the   rules of logic that much       (Physics)       You need to explain where he went   otherwise it’s a loony tune      Of    sus-    pen    sion-

Okay?

What??

I thought-       the thing-  

....

O-kay

right

Take it,

Which       ,One

 That-

 Right

What-      Ever-

  Aight-

He knews

 What-      Ever

  Don’t call   your eggs

   Move

  Restraint

  Whelp

 Use-less

    Just     There

     Whelp

     Nope-

      Okay-

       He           Try

      [Hey         guys,]

       Off               That’s           some         assumed          authority              over         familiarity..

        Aight..

      Okay,

      They’re really            letting             him             get            away             with              the             story

         Tries-

       What?!

       -When-

      Bomb-  

        Both-

[Also   Mace   Windu        is     still      the       only       semi-efficient      Jedi...

   Asshole !

    (Can’t          make the text bigger enough to display my           outrage!)

   [they      played that off         as humor!]

     That was a scream of death!

     Of         Murder!

   [if that was a sentient-       And my God     it seemed damn close!     Dude was just murdered

   The surprise-        “ I didn’t        see it coming, h        onestly not his fault kind!”

      One that would call for      immediate robotic vengeance!

    * im-mediate    ac-countability

      If sentient,

   What the Hell?!

     That-

     Horror        -        fy-            Ing-

      Oof

“Was        it     sentient?      Crud, I      might       lose        my       least       toxic    credentials

  (           )

   Whelp

    How?

     No        Way-

   A-ight

   Shit

  -shit

- she did     nothing  

   I-

  Call      Sec-

  Whose       that?

    Whelp

     Okay..

     That          Who

    Dys-   functional          family          road         trip             -           War

       No          shit

 Oh wait at           the comment table was by all the other Jedi

       So...

       the whole time Obi-wan was just complaining        he didn’t want to do the job

     Skywalker          agreeing with him...

      And...  wanting to ditch their post

 In chara,

   Just, a little bit funny      when you think about it

  Right,

 You bought            them      all the way         here?

      ...

Also look isn’t the unchild-like abomination adorable when she’s talking about punishing people more severely

Holo-cron

The heck     is a       holocron...

Wait-

 What-

   Why-

   How-

   ??

 Why is this     being allowed to      happen?   -

    ...

  Snitch

[like seriously how is it helping her   case, whatsoever?

Plea     Bar-gin

Aight,

Okay

That was just a completely random target   on his list...

- -

The one accountable adult

Keeper       Kydra      Crystal-

- Holocrons

   Data

     -

   You get out of here         youngling

     Force         Sensitive       Child ?

     Are we really going to get into the        powers        eugenics?             (Or         power        genetic       superiority)

       Also would it be a kin to basically every child or just any child destined for leader ship

   (Like gen       leader ship?)

    Cause..

Also, yeah   good idea keeping that around

And you named...

...

Young’lings

 Future

Oy!     You put that back where,   it came from so help me

Future  

vision

is cheating

In reality,   if you did have that power,    you should keep     your mouth        shut

And it completely negates   the point of a choice based universe

   (Takes all the ��     risk out of it)

    Making the story     completely useless

    (For the sake of tension       I’m going to ignore        that..)

    Going on the       assumption...

     That’s the Jedi           are just a bunch of          narcs

       Who           like        claiming they know the future

       When in reality only the future              knows the future...

           Worn.                 Them

              Oh so it’s just School    roll call...

    Contact

   You must

Ya no dude’s already a    headstart...

Ahsoka

 Dude,  he just override   the punishment   

  Does he   have the authority to do that?

   [I     don’t     think        so]

 Cad bane

   He      probably isn’t

   And you already know him From the previous episode

    Good for         Obi-won

      Aight

     Mace Windu         don’t give a fuck

      Kid Fisto              disappeared

      And. .       Luminara(?)

       Went to go get a snack....             ?

        I don’t             know

        Yoda

        Got          Overruled

       Aight,           Okay

  .....

     This episode...

         Makes me feel disgusting              Watching                The middle                 At least

           It’s very clearly                 boomer bait...

           The beginning...

          Focus-ing on the           importance of taking orders           (With no                       sarcasm                                   to my understanding,)

       Progressing,               Into, 

             Dah, de, dah,                          Generation                        ____                    doesn’t               understand                  books!

                  *We might  if they got out of our way, let us do our thing, dis-covered and pract-iced excess, on our volition

                   *if we wanted   to

Honestly   convinced.  I should’ve      given       them          a        strike       right       there 

Out     of  

Malicious

 Won’t   (Out of restraint)

But     a   thought   none-       the-  

 less

Being        a     (toxic)      Boomers     Fantasy        in   which    they,      the     all   powerful      all   knowing       adults     must       help       poor     Ig-      nor        -ant       (Child)-

(I’m sorry   this really       disgusts me)

  -with enough initiative            To praise their Brilliance

         (It’s re-ally   di-sgusting)

           This isn’t            seen as an overreach                   Or con-                Des-cion                      Of                       A                     Gen

And gives no   in-dication it recognizes how creepy what it’s doing is

Apart from the lighting in the council room

  *Which       I’m now convinced is permanently broken

    And continues with the assum-ption of a   life-time                       Over the future

     Breaking; the story pretty thoroughly

     And announcing the       return to      mediocrity...

     (Border       -ing on attempt at          lower        standards)

 (Also they playoff the death of a semi-sentient species      For            Humor?

       He          died        screaming!

[spellcastersjudgement]

23 nd tutorship ^v^

i apologize in advance i know this is an ignorant length but i cant help myself with THE OTP i hope you enjoy it!!! thank u bigly for sending in this ask <3333

if yall are on mobile i apologize in advance sometimes the read more links dont work whoops :((((

#23: ‘take my jacket’

 Jaden loved to party and he wouldn’t apologize for that. Tournaments, interviews, endorsements, even a season finale of a TV show—all excuses to let loose and fill up no less than three trash bags with beer cans, pass out with his shoes on, and wake up groggy yet fulfilled the next day. Being a pro duelist had been the best move he’d ever made in his life, not just for the money and pictures and love of the game, but because even boring opening ceremonies or long-ass photoshoots ended with everyone getting smashed for no other reason than that they could. It was paradise.

This party fucking sucked though.

It didn’t suck in like, a traditional sense. The ballroom was beautiful, with vaulted ceilings and elegantly decorated tables with little placards for their names and everyone was dressed nicely. He was sitting at his assigned seat, staring at the nameplate and sipping prosecco, feeling like he should climb up onto the table and dance to liven things up a bit. Though the urge was strong and he’d downed four of these flutes of angry grape juice, he instead pulled out his phone from his front pocket—yeah, he was wearing a blazer with a fancy inside pocket, something he had never expected to wear in his life—and scrolling through his texts, most of them from Syrus, who was lamenting that they weren’t together to watch Aster and Zane’s televised foreplay. Jaden felt guilty but he wished he’d had a duel scheduled tonight. Zane and Aster had gotten out of attending this party (he used the term loosely) with Alexis, but this was a by week for him and he had no excuse.

Originally when Bastion had told him that he had to attend this—gala, that had been the word—this gala he was hype, ready to hang off his boyfriend’s arm and be the pro duelist trophy boyfriend to Bastion’s physics doctoral candidate, preferably hammered and bragging about how Bastion and Alexis had been awarded a competitive research grant for an assload of money. That was the plan, at least. Then again, he was under the impression that these galas were similar to his version of a party, where everyone showed up hella drunk and someone lost their pants thirty minutes in for whatever reason. The fancy name should’ve tipped him off, he thought, texting Syrus that he might have to fake a stomachache so he could dip out early, but in his defense he assumed the fancy name was because it was a university-sponsored thing not because it was stuffy as hell.

Syrus sent him back a sternly worded text that he should be happy for Bastion and that his boyfriend had put up with all of their drunken asses more times than he could count. Jaden could suck it up for one night.

Wrinkling his nose and feeling guilt swell up in him, Jaden locked his phone and put it back in his blazer—it was Bastion’s blazer actually, as Jaden didn’t own one nor did he remember to get one even though he’d been informed of this a week ago—and downed the rest of his wine, setting the empty glass back on the tablecloth. This would probably be more tolerable if he hadn’t immediately been separated from Bastion and Alexis, who had been accosted by professors and the program director almost as soon as they’d walked in. From his spot, he could see them standing with who he recognized as their faculty adviser, probably talking about something super smart and sciencey. This shit had gone on for the past forty-five minutes and Jaden could probably just walk over and interject himself, but what would he even say? The original plan didn’t seem like it would work as he definitely couldn’t grab Bastion’s ass and make off-color jokes about how his dick-sucking lips had won them that grant with this crowd of old-ass academics.

Bastion did look good in that suit though. Jaden probably wouldn’t be able to resist getting a handful of his ass when those slacks were stretched so tightly over it, already thinking of how he should drop something in front of him so he’d pick it up and give Jaden an excellent view. Looking down at his own ensemble, he wondered how Bastion had let him out of the house. He was wearing a purple leopard print button-up and had cuffed his dress pants and had refused to wear socks with these dress shoes unless he could wear his Winged Kuriboh ones. That had earned him an exasperated look from his boyfriend, who was busy ironing his own boring white shirt. Apparently the line was at Winged Kuriboh socks, as Bastion hadn’t said anything about his outfit when they’d left.

He could probably go over there, maybe just stand between Bastion and Alexis and not say anything. It’d be better than being the only person sitting at a table alone, even if what they were talking about would definitely go over his head and there wasn’t enough dancing for it to be a real party. Getting on the table and dancing was starting to become a more attractive idea by the second.

They’d been dating long enough for there to be a little voice in his head he called his Inner Bastion, which served as both a voice of reason and about eighty percent of his impulse control (the other twenty percent was divided between Jesse, Jim, and Syrus, though Sy was usually an enabler). It even had a cute British accent. Currently, it was telling him that if the choices were between dancing on the table and suffering through academics, he should go with the lesser of two evils.

It didn’t bar him from getting more alcohol, though, which was good because he definitely needed it. Just because everyone else was still upright and had all their clothes and there hadn’t been an impromptu karaoke battle didn’t mean he couldn’t have his own little party. Bastion could carry him out if needed.

“Thanks, dude,” Jaden was glad their assigned table was by the server station, meaning he didn’t have to go more than a few feet to get more of this angry grape juice. Too bad they didn’t have anything harder or else he’d be about ten rum and pineapples deep.

A real party should be impossible to navigate, everyone sweaty and close together, the music too loud to talk over unless you were right against someone’s ear or yelling so loud your throat hurt the next day. The most difficult part of reaching Bastion was walking sideways between chairs so he didn’t have to disturb anyone sitting down, which was a total bummer. He’d seen Bastion at a party with his other PhD candidate friends and they could throw down. Fucking school ruining everything, he thought sourly, trying to keep his face neutral as he got closer.

Just like he’d predicted, he could hear the adviser talking to Bastion about his upcoming exam, which sounded like gibberish to Jaden. He knew what an integral was and the difference between speed and velocity but other than that he couldn’t keep up, no matter how many times he helped Bastion study.

Deciding it was best not to interrupt their discussion of stellar evolution, which would be a great name for a mixtape, he tried to formulate a plan of attack to stand between them without looking awkward as hell. Alexis and Bastion were too damn close though, which he normally thought was adorable because they were best friend science buddies and Bastion’s tie matched Alexis’ dress, which wasn’t relevant but still insanely cute, and there would be no way for him to stand there without squeezing in and being a disruption. He’d just have to stand by Bastion’s side and take his chances. Hopefully none of these academic wizards would want to talk to him because the only thing he knew well was dueling and that probably wouldn’t fly with these nerds.

Jaden loved nerds. Bastion was a massive nerd and he loved him a lot, especially when he got excited about something and he’d start rambling, sticking a pencil behind his ear and gesticulating (usually at an equation he’d written on his office wall) and Jaden was totally content to pay his tuition with that sweet, sweet dueling cash if it meant he got to see him so happy. Jaden loved that kinda nerd. These stuffy nerds were a different story, completely uncharted territory. They probably didn’t cry tears of happiness when they finished a hard problem and probably didn’t look up at the stars and talk about extraterrestrial life and how rad space travel would be. That was the flavor of nerd he was used to.

Bastion was in the middle of saying something about electrons when Jaden came to stand next to him, their shoulders brushing, announcing his presence in the most subtle way Jaden had ever cut into a conversation ever. Damn, he should be flouncing over, totally drunk, kissing Bastion in the middle of the ballroom and shouting that his boyfriend was mega smart and that tie would be used to bind Bastion to the headboard later. Instead he had a flute glass and was sliding an arm around his boyfriend, trying to be quiet and unassuming. What fucking alternate universe was he in?

 “—the expansion of—” Bastion stopped speaking to look down at Jaden, smiling once he realized it wasn’t some random person leaning on him. “Dr. Zweinstein, this is Jaden. I don’t think you two have met yet.”

Of course Bastion would be nice and make introductions.

“Hey,” Jaden switched the glass to his left hand so he could shake with his right. “Bas has told me a lot about you.”

Hopefully that counted as enough of a conversation. Bastion was very warm and his arm was now around Jaden, which was awesome because now he could lean into his boyfriend. Normally Jaden would talk more, but this whole situation was lowkey uncomfortable and he was out of his element given how fancy this gala was. Gala. What a dumb word. It sounded so fancy and exciting yet it was boring as hell.

“He’s told me about you as well,” Dr. Zweinstein spoke with a faint German accent and Jaden wondered if PhD programs only brought in people with sick accents to make them seem more exotic. Alexis was the only American he’d met in the parade of Bastion’s higher education friends. “You’re a duelist?”

“Yeah,” Jaden wanted them to go back to talking about physics. Zweinstein was the same height but he still felt like he was being looked down on, his eyes looking over the rim of his glasses and a faint downturn of his wrinkled old mouth. Yeah, that was about right. Bastion never made him feel like he was dumb or anything, except when he was being really dumb and that usually involved some scheme he and Syrus had cooked up that might risk them bodily harm or gastrointestinal discomfort.

“I’m sure that’s exciting.” Zweinstein didn’t sound genuine, more condescending.

Bastion must’ve sensed that things were about to go downhill. “Jaden has been a big help. I don’t think I would’ve passed your last exam without him.”

That was sweet, really, but Jaden had just graded a practice test, which didn’t involve anything but looking at the nicely circled x = whatever after an endless parade of calculus and checking them against an answer key. It’s not like he could help Bastion if he got in a real pickle, which is why he often saw his boyfriend dialing Alexis’ number at ass o’clock at night, standing in front of the wall where he’d attempted a problem with a worn-down pencil and tension in his shoulders.

“Oh, nonsense. You and Alexis are my best students. I think the two of you were born to do this.”

That was less sweet. The part about him helping Bastion being nonsense, that is. Bastion and Alexis were the best because they were Bastion and Alexis, so he could agree with that. Jaden shifted, crossing his arms over his chest, feeling very defensive because he may not have been a braniac but he did try to help in whatever capacity he could. Fuck this stuffy ass gala.

He felt fingers nudging at him, and he looked over to see Alexis reaching behind Bastion and prodding his side, smiling at him. She looked exquisite in that dress, the gold matching her eyes and making her look like the absolute queen she was. Jaden overcame his extreme annoyance at Dr. Asswipe—it really was unfortunate the guy had been kinda dickish because Bas talked about him like the guy invented the sun—to smile at her. Damn the two of them for standing so close together he couldn’t squeeze in.

Honestly, that’s probably how everyone felt when he and Syrus were together, but that was different. Jaden and Syrus were the awesomest at parties and if Syrus were here instead of watching Alexis’ boyfriends duke it out on prime time television they could play a drinking game at least. Not like Bastion wouldn’t play drinking games with him, but since he was one of the guests of honor its not like he could get totally shitfaced. That was another reason this party sucked. Alexis and Bastion should be messes right now, needing to be scraped off the floor because it was their party and they deserved to celebrate like he did after winning a duel.

The conversation had blessedly switched away from Jaden and back to stars or whatever the “post AGB phase” was. It probably wasn’t too late to fake a stomachache, he thought as he sipped more of the prosecco, looking aimlessly into the crowd of people, half-listening to Bastion’s voice as he talked about shell burning (yet another great name for a mixtape), but Syrus’ text about being supportive echoed in his head. He could stick it out for Bastion.

It was hard, though, to listen to all these big words and not know anything about what was going on. If it were just the two of them, Jaden would interrupt and ask his boyfriend to explain something in very small words so he could at least sorta understand enough to be engaged, but they weren’t at home or in the car or even at Starbucks. Maybe he should’ve just stayed at the table and texted Syrus or tried to livestream Zane and Aster’s duel. The only good thing that had come out of leaving his seat was that Bastion’s arm was around him, keeping their sides pressed together, and that Bastion was clearly very excited about whatever they were talking about and he sounded so happy.

Taking another sip of wine, Jaden glanced up at his boyfriend, how he was smiling while saying huge-ass words that meant nothing to Jaden, who couldn’t spell ‘necessary’ or ‘license’ without googling it first. This was his element, this academic wasteland, devoid of personality and individualism, the only thing here facts and figures and research that took countless hours. The blazer felt itchy, restrictive, weighing heavily on his shoulders and making it hard to breathe. Jaden had never been in this part of Bastion’s world before. Usually the extent was watching him and several other students gathered around the coffee table or sequestered in the office, studying together or shooting the shit, and none of them had been this type of boring, flat, lifeless, damn near oppressive type of academic.

“Jaden.”

Zweinstein was speaking to him again, and Jaden halted his thoughts about how he was itchy and hot and overall uncomfortable to focus.

“Yeah?” He tried not to think of how he sounded raspy and lowkey kinda pathetic.

“Bastion says you were recently in Zurich.”

That wasn’t really recent, but yeah. “I had a tournament there a couple months ago. Nice place, but super cold.”

“I was just telling Bastion that we have several job openings in Zurich with one of our sister universities,” Zweinstein continued, still looking at Jaden over his glasses and he could’ve sworn the man was speaking slower, like he was unsure Jaden could understand him. The itchy, tight feeling intensified, and Jaden gripped onto the wine glass and tried to think of the way Chazz pitched a fit on television when Jaden had dropped his life points to zero last week. “I think it would be a good fit once he completes the program.”

A job? Overseas? There would be worse things, Jaden supposed. He wasn’t about to have a conversation about important life decisions right here, though. “That’s cool.”

“That’s a word for it.” Zweinstein drawled.

“I appreciate the offer, but I think I’ll probably end up staying around here.” Thankfully Bastion was there to speak again because Jaden was about ten seconds from smashing his glass in his turtle-looking face.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Zweinstein looked from Jaden to Bastion. “Though it is possible to be a duelist anywhere in the world. I hope you don’t let your partner’s career dictate yours.”

Jaden was hot, burning hot. The air was so thick it hurt to breathe, fingers twitching around the glass, and not even the feeling of Bastion’s hand squeezing his shoulder could calm the burning rage within him. Who the fuck was this man to stand here and insinuate that Jaden was—was holding Bastion back? Bastion had never said anything of the sort, not even implied it. Yeah, Jaden was loud and largely inappropriate and not book-smart and Bastion was proper and restrained and did Sudoku for fun but he would never, ever do anything knowing it would limit his boyfriend in his academic or career pursuits.

Coming over here was a mistake.

“’scuse me,” Jaden ducked out from under Bastion’s arm, needing to get away before he said something that would get him thrown out of this stupid-ass gala. His hip knocked into a table, jostling the silverware and startling the people sitting down, walking so fast the mostly-full glass was sloshing onto his sleeve, overcome with a burning need to get away from this gathering of pretentious fucks.

He knocked into more tables, tipping a chair over on its side as he made his exit. The door to the outside was his goal, as the night air would surely offer some sort of respite. Vaguely, he heard his name being called, but the blood was pounding in his ears and he couldn’t decipher who had called for him. It didn’t matter, as not even Bastion could make him go back to that horseshit conversation where he was being insulted for merely existing. What the fuck had he done to Zweinstein?

Pushing the ballroom door open with his shoulder and sloshing more wine onto the blazer, Jaden stepped into the hallway, hanging a right and heading for the exit doors where he could cool off and preferably stay outside until this nonsense was over. There were a couple of staff members standing by the door, and they opened it for him with a smile that he didn’t have it in him to return, finally stepping out and feeling like he was able to breathe once again.

It was easier to breathe but he was still hot and itchy. Sitting down on the top step, Jaden set down his glass and tore off the wine-soaked blazer, a passing thought of how it was his boyfriend’s and he should probably be more careful with it was silenced by angry thoughts of how he should summon Flame Wingman to burn this whole dumbass building down. Too bad he didn’t have his duel disk. That would’ve been satisfying. As long as Bastion and Alexis got out first.

Resting his head in his hands, acutely aware he looked like Cinderella, sitting here on the top of the steps after making a speedy exit from a ballroom, he heard Zweinstein’s words over and over again, taunting him. Was that it? Was the perception of their relationship that Jaden was somehow stunting Bastion’s professional and academic prospects?

Probably, another voice spoke up. They’d always been kinda an odd couple, proof that the old adage of ‘opposites attract’ wasn’t just a cliché. Jaden remembered when they’d first gotten together back in undergrad of how, while the squad had seen it coming for months and was totally cool with it, the other students at Duel Academy did make a few passing comments about how Bastion was ‘too good’ for him. It hadn’t bothered him back then because everything was shiny and new and he was totally gonna be a kickass pro duelist trophy boyfriend and Bastion was gonna name a star after him (something Bastion had actually said in a post-sex cuddle sesh, which had made Jaden feel enough love for the man to explode) and they were gonna prove everyone wrong. But now, feeling the air dance across his burning cheeks, staring down at the concrete steps, thinking about how the entire night he’d felt out of place, he entertained the thought that maybe, just maybe, there was some merit to what Zweinstein had said. Bastion would probably do better with someone that could keep up with him in the braincell department, someone he could talk about his passions with that didn’t involve multiple interruptions to define terms.

Shit, this was stupid. Jaden looked up at the sky, thinking about how he sounded like a dumb teenager to himself but unable to shake the feeling that maybe this gala had revealed something crucial, something he’d never considered before. The wine he’d spilled on himself was starting to dry, making his skin feel sticky and tight, heightening the feeling of general discomfort that had settled into his skin and overtaken him from the second he’d stepped in the ballroom, raised to a fever pitch by that stupid doctor. Going back inside felt impossible though. Better to just sit out here and tamp down on these feelings, forget about this entirely. The steps were uncomfortable and there were still a few stragglers coming in, their eyes landing on him briefly before continuing their way up the stairs. It’d be better to wait in the car but Bastion had the keys and was almost pathological about locking doors, meaning he’d have to go back inside to get them. That wasn’t gonna happen unless Jaden got one free punch aimed at Zweinstein.

He’d sit out here, then. That’d be fine. He had most of his phone battery left and a backlog of updates from Syrus; plus if all else failed he could call Jesse to pass the time. Bastion and Alexis could enjoy the gala in their honor and Jaden wouldn’t get arrested for assault. It would be fine, he reassured himself, though he still heard the echoes of doubts and insecurities and the visions of Bastion galivanting around with another obscenely smart person that wouldn’t feel out of place in his world, would compliment him better. The Inner Bastion voice that had discouraged him from dancing on the table was now spouting out how it was illogical to feel these things when Bastion had never come close to implying that Jaden wasn’t enough for him, and he did his damnedest to listen to it. That proved to be difficult, the persistent itch under his skin and the heat in his face not caring that his Inner Bastion was right. Digging in the front pocket for his phone, he felt his fingers shaking, covered in a cold sweat, unable to grasp the device.

Fucking fine, then. He could just sit here. He could just chill out. He was the ultimate at chilling, had taught Bastion how to turn that brain off and enjoy himself.

“Jaden?”

Was that his Inner Bastion trying to get him to calm himself down and stop worrying about nothing? It sounded louder, more insistent now, like the real Bastion sounded when Jaden was about to down seven Coke floats because Syrus got through six before he puked.

“Jaden?”

That definitely wasn’t in his head. Twisting around, Jaden looked up to see Bastion coming out of the building, walking toward him, blazer open and swishing with his steps, tie off-kilter. What the hell was Bastion doing out here? He should be inside.

“What?” Bastion was standing in on the steps by him now, looking confused and worried. Shit, he must’ve said that out loud. “I’m not going to stand inside while you’re out here, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Dude, this is your party.” Jaden felt a new wave of guilt for storming out and disrupting his boyfriend’s moment in the sun, especially after Bastion had spent an inordinate amount of time posing for pictures with Jaden after he won a duel or taken a red-eye flight to get back to the university in time for classes after joining him at a tournament. “Seriously, Bas. Get back in there.”

“Jaden,” Bastion was sitting down next to him, using that serious voice that Jaden recognized as the one meaning he wasn’t going to entertain an argument.

Jaden didn’t have anything to say that wasn’t going to be either argumentative or let these anxious, unfounded thoughts spill out, so he just huffed and stared straight ahead.

There was silence for a moment. Usually their silences weren’t uncomfortable as they’d been together far too long to feel the need to fill every moment with inorganic conversation. This was an uncomfortable silence and Jaden could feel Bastion looking at him, practically feel the way he was turning words over in his mind, wanting to broach the subject of that unfortunate encounter with his faculty adviser. Jaden didn’t know if he wanted to talk about it or not, really. If he made Bastion feel like he couldn’t interact with the person helping him complete his doctorate then he really would be holding him back just like Zweinstein said; if he didn’t say anything then he’d either have to abstain from coming to these uptight academic gatherings, maybe miss out on more important accomplishments, in order to not be subjected to this condescending bullshit.

This situation sucked.

“Jaden,” Bastion had apparently finished deciding how to begin.

“Yeah?”

“You won’t have to worry about Dr. Zweinstein saying anything else to you.”

“What?” Jaden looked over to him, feeling more guilt, more anxiety twisting his insides. “What’d you say to him? Bas, you better not have—”

“I told him to shove it.” Bastion interrupted, a slight smile breaking his face, eyes shining with amusement. “Not in as many words, but you know.”

“You told the guy who holds your future by the short and curlies to shove it?”

“Jaden, sweetheart,” Bastion’s arm wound around his shoulders, pulling him to his side. Jaden was slightly off-guard, feeling new heat rise to his cheeks at the pet name. His boyfriend didn’t use them often, didn’t really use nicknames either, referring to Alexis by her full name when everyone else said ‘Lex’, almost never calling him ‘Jay.’ Leaning his head against Bastion’s shoulder, feeling the fabric of his blazer against his cheek, he listened as Bastion continued. “I think you’ve overestimated the influence he has on me. I’m not so starstruck that I’m going to let him speak to you like that.”

That was probably the nicest, most political way for Bastion to say that he was overreacting. Maybe if Jaden had stayed a moment longer, hadn’t made a scene, he would’ve been able to see Bastion clap back. That would’ve been infinitely better than knocking over a chair and spilling wine everywhere.

“Do people,” Jaden tried to keep his voice steady, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning more heavily on Bastion’s side. “Do people say stuff like that a lot?”

“No,” Bastion’s cheek leaned on his head, breath moving his bangs as he sighed. “A few people have. They learn not to.”

“Thanks for defending my honor,” Jaden wanted to make it sound like a joke, lighten the mood and lift the weight that was settling inside him.

“I don’t need nor appreciate input on where I’ve chosen to lay my affections.”

“Maybe they’re right, you know.” Jaden couldn’t stop it from tumbling out, wincing a second later. That was pathetic. He sounded like the protagonist in that soap opera he’d binged last week at Syrus’ insistence, the two of them laid out on the couch, definitely not sober, laughing at how stupid and dramatic the script was. Now he was doing the same shit he’d mocked.

“No, they most definitely are not.”

The conviction in that statement jump-started his heart, making him lift up his head, staring into Bastion’s eyes. Protests were on the tip of his tongue, even as his Inner Bastion was telling him to listen to the Outer Bastion and not the flurry of irrational thoughts clouding his mind. They died as Bastion pulled him closer, reaching out to lay his hand over one of Jaden’s.

“I wanted you to come with me tonight. Not just because you’re my partner but because you’re my inspiration.” Bastion squeezed his hand and Jaden grabbed onto him, probably too tightly but his heart was pounding and his boyfriend’s hands were bigger and really warm and he needed the feeling of their palms pressed together to calm himself. “You’ve been so supportive of me, helped me even when you don’t understand, tolerated me staying up all night grading papers, and never complained about me repainting parts of the office when I run out of room to write on the walls. I wanted you to be here tonight. Dr. Zweinstein can take his opinions elsewhere.”

They were silent, just looking at each other, and Jaden felt like he should say something, but he couldn’t. His mind was blank, which was unfortunate because his heart was full and he wanted to thank Bastion for coming out here, for defending him, for being so perfect and wonderful, for being so loving. The anxieties and thoughts of not being enough, the image of Zweinstein staring at him over his glasses, those horrid fantasies of Bastion being with some nameless, faceless person in a lab coat—they all dissipated. They weren’t buried, just gone, like they’d never occupied his thoughts. His Inner Bastion was very smugly telling him that Jaden should’ve listened to him in the first place.

“How’d I get so lucky?” Jaden laughed, a real laugh, leaning in to kiss his boyfriend, pressing their lips together, feeling Bastion’s hand tighten around his own. Lingering for just a moment longer, he pulled back, resting their foreheads together, feeling lighter and happier and overwhelmingly content.

“I’m the lucky one.” Bastion smiled, tightening his hold on Jaden’s shoulders. “Will you come back inside with me?”

“Sure, yeah,” Jaden refrained from adding that if Zweinstein even looked at him the wrong way he’d throw a wine glass at him.

“Oh, here.” Bastion’s hold on him was gone and he was shrugging out of his blazer. “Take this.”

“Sorry,” Jaden looked down at the still-wet sleeves of his own blazer. “I’ll do laundry when we get home.”

“It’s quite alright. Please don’t do laundry. The last time you turned all of my white shirts gray.”

“Hey, come on,” Jaden stuck his tongue out, heard Bastion laughing at him. “I looked cute in that apron, though.”

“I’m not sure stapling hand towels together and tying them around your waist counts as an apron.”

“You aren’t denying that I looked cute.”

“No, I’m not.” Bastion helped Jaden out of his blazer, draping his own over Jaden’s shoulders.

There was something heavy in the front pocket of Bastion’s blazer, too big to be a phone, not jingly enough to be keys. “Babe?”

“Mmm?”

“What’s in here?”

“A flask.”

Bastion brought a flask? “I’m not complaining, babe, but, uh—why?”

“Well,” Bastion pushed up his sleeve to look at his watch, the one Jaden had gotten him for his birthday, the face decorated with little stars that glowed in the dark. “Alexis is giving a speech in about five minutes. Thought you might like to play a drinking game.”

“I’ve never been more in love with you than at this moment.” Jaden shot up, extending a hand to his boyfriend, who was laughing and looking perfect with that boring white shirt and eyes reflecting the starlight. “Let’s go back inside.”

#darkmagiattack #asks #tutorshipping #this was so fun thank you for requesting!!!! #i know this was supposed to be a fluffy ask but its insecure jaden hours

[azoraahai]

hi hello, it’s your fav chaotic disaster here! since it is nearing the end of the decade/2019 here ( i know some of y’all are already enjoying the new year bc timezones lol ) but i just wanted to take the time and mention a few peeps that really kept me grounded this year. this is not a follow forever bc im lazy as fuck so pls enjoy this mess of me rambling lol!

even if you aren’t tagged, there are special mentions for each group im under so please read if you have the time! please note that each and every single one of you has made 2019 so much better cuz we all know it was hella rough so im very thankful for all of you!

this is hella long so everything will be under the cut :)

oc mutuals ⤵

my one and only :: @daisyjohvson my ride or die, my best friend, my beautiful sister, my other half. there are no words that could articulate how much you mean to me. you are my person and nothing could ever change that. i know we both have been busy this year, but im so glad we always do our best to chat no matter what time it is for us. you are my everything and i adore and love you so fucking much. i hope 2020 will finally be the year we meet after being friends for almost five years. i wish you the best of luck for the start of a new decade babe xx.

satanic bitches 2/3 :: @freakingbradleys @fleetwoodmcs god, it still blows my mind that my two idols talk to me on a daily. amanda, kayla, you guys have brought such a new perspective into my life and i cannot thank either of you enough for it. you guys are so encouraging, thoughtful, amazing, and supportive. i know i can tell you guys anything and you would be super honest with me and i cannot explain how much i appreciate that. thank you both for enduring the mess of 2019 with me.

my chaotic twin :: @emiliachrstine emilia, my love, it has been a pleasure talking with you via tumblr and snapchat facetime. you have brought so much laughter in my day while i was at college and i am 100% sincere when i say i needed those talks sO MUCH! you know some of the challenges i was facing so i just wanted to say thank you for being so fun to talk to and always listening to my endless ranting ( especially the cLASS SIX FELONY bit ). im so thankful we got closer this year and i love you so so so so soooo much bb!

the enabler buddy :: @moirei first of all, i cant believe how much we’ve been talking recently! i’ve always wanted to talk to you more and im highkey upset that it took me this long to reach out to you again, but anyways, as john mulaney would say, tHe PaSt Is ThE pAsT. thank you for letting me ask you sooooo many questions about sw, enabling me with all of these spur of the moment ideas, and for being such a wonderful friend! you are so kind, encouraging, and helpful! thank you so much for everything bb!

long lost sister :: @nellie--crain rachel, honey, you are a light in my life. anytime you message me, i already feel 100000x happier. you are like an older sister to me and i love you to the moon and back! i love all of your ocs and our xovers so much ( especially robeck bc otp ) and i hope we come up with more stuff in the near future! i hope 2020 graces you with so much happiness and joy, my love!!

some of my ride or dies :: @chlobenet @peterparcour @hopemikaelsvns @thetenthdoctorscompanion @drewtanner @princes-jasmine @aaudace @killinbills thank you all for being so amazing, talented, and wonderful! you all have played a significant part in my 2019 and i hope you all know that!! y’all are so awesome seriously xx

the rest of my oc mutuals :: thank you guys for sticking around as my hyperfixations constantly change once i find a new thing lol. i hope to chat with you all some more in 2020 and the years to come! please remember that each and every one of you is talented, creative, and beautiful! i wish you all the best of luck for this upcoming year and know that i love and appreciate every single one of you!!

giffing mutuals ⤵

the other half braincell :: @yelenabelovaa fleur, my darling, what an honor it is to be your wife! we got so close sO FAST and i cant imagine my life without you. you’re the jake to my tom, and if that doesn’t explain how chaotic we are then idk what does. thank you for being there right away when my dog died unexpectedly like i cannot tell you how much i appreciated you on the phone with me until someone irl was there to help me. thank you for always being so selfless, kind, and an incredible friend. i love you so much and let’s hope we get to meet in 2020!!!

goddess of parallels :: @andthwip the fact that you follow me is still absolutely mind blowing! also the fact that you tag me in your gifs is eVEN MORE mind blowing! i’ve admired your work for quite a while and let me just say, your ideas are unmatched!! you have such an eye for detail like no one can do what you do!! thank you so much for being a great mutual and i hope 2020 will be a wonderful start of the decade for you xx

the clown :: @robertpattisons okay dont hate me for putting the clown lol its just your icon and i had to im sorry lmao!! anyways, laiba, hi bb! you are such a talented gif maker and im so glad we became mutuals this year! thank you for being so nice, helpful, and a great friend!! i love you lots and have a great 2020!!!!

chaotic duo :: @colins-farrells sakshi, darling, idk if i ever mentioned this to you but you made me feel so comfortable with my blog. i looked up to you and your amazing chaotic posts and i just wanted to thank you for that! you truly are amazing and ily bunches xx i hope 2020 will be epic for you!!

some of my amazing giffing mutuals :: @lzzieolsn @luke-skywalker @ageofultron @brolinjosh @rosiebetzler @bitony you all are so fucking talented like seriously!!!! thank you all for following my trash can of a blog bc i have admired ALL of you from afar and im still in shock about it!! i hope 2020 blesses you all with happiness, success, and joy!!! i love and adore each and every one of you!!!

the rest of my giffing mutuals :: thank you all for being so fucking nice to me! i only began giffing regularly at the beginning of this year and i made SO many wonderful mutuals ( aka you guys ) because of it! you all have been so helpful and supportive of me and i am so fucking grateful for that!!! 2020 is a new year and the start of a new decade for us!! i wish all of you can enjoy this new beginning!!!

to all of my followers ⤵

hi hello! if you got this far down, congrats!!! i just wanted to say i fucking love you guys so damn much!! no matter what im doing, my current hyperfixation, the ENDLESS amount of shitposting, y’all willingly stick with me and i seriously can’t thank you enough! i know i say that so much, but it’s honestly 100% true! i’ve reached INCREDIBLE milestones because of all of you!! so seriously, thank you! 2020 is a fresh start so let’s make this year fucking amazing!!!

#still have an hour left of the decade but happy new year to those already in 2020 #i love all of u and i hope u all know that #enjoy the header of the best baby ever #joey talks

[soundofseventeen]

If We Were A Movie (Kim Mingyu)

Hi babes! So Erin and I geeked out bc we finally reached 400 followers!!! We cried a bit and really thank you guys for everything! It’s not possible without y’all! Enough rambling. -Bee

“Another win for the ever-talented Kim Mingyu.” You raised your hand for a high five which he eagerly slapped. “Stop being such a good actor or we’ll probably have to build you a separate room for all your wins.”

“It’s luck,” he shrugged modestly. “And my ridiculously good looks.”

“Who are you if not your own biggest fan? Okay, so there’s an after party going on if you wanna go or we clear the rest of the night to get you to start packing because need I remind you that you leave for this next movie in five days.” You unlocked your phone and rambled off the rest of his schedule, each time grinning wider than the last until his laughs betrayed him and you looked up at him in confusion. “What?”

“Do you ever get a day off?” He shook his head. “I think you’re more concerned about this coming month than I am.” He took out his own phone and compared it to yours. “Jeez, you’re more of an overqualified agent than my assistant. Wait, I have a physical the day after tomorrow? Since when?” He gestured you to start walking to his dressing room so he could change.

“Since you agreed to the role three months back.” You shrugged. “Maybe if you paid more attention, then you’d know.”

“But not even my agent knows-”

“Your agent’s job is to make sure you book your roles and you don’t risk it, hence your lack of scandals. I’m just here to make sure you keep yourself alive and well because your fans will probably kill me.”

“I knew I didn’t just hire you for your cute looks.” He closed the door in your face, giving him the last laugh.

You pounded on the door, laughing. “You hired me because you needed a friend!” Well from what he’s told you at least.

He opened it, sticking his head out. “And you’re a good one at that. Now please let me get dressed so I can go to this party while you enjoy your night off.”

“Hey, unblock me while you’re at it you coward!”

*

You threw the shirt along with the rest of the rejected pieces of clothing. You weren’t expecting to be invited along to all sorts of parties and social gatherings (that was more Mingyu’s scene) but because you were constantly by his side, it’d make sense for you to dress the part in case it happened. All your casual and formal clothing had been packed in different suitcases (and as low maintenance as you were, you liked messing with him because he could honestly pack like it was the end of the world...well it didn’t help that his stylist Xu Minghao tailored his wardrobe to perfection and often made it a point to show it off, subtly of course.)

You checked the time, surprised to see it was a quarter to two (and that Mingyu had refollowed on every social media account he previously blocked you on but it was otherwise fairly quiet from his end.) If you didn’t get any sleep soon, you’d be too tired for your day to yourself. You’d made plans to do something by yourself whether it be a haircut, buy new clothes, or maybe even get yourself that book you were eyeing; you just wanted some quality time with yourself and if you didn’t start that now, it’d be...awhile. You left your pile of clothes right where they were, just in case they’d be better looking in the morning. You washed the makeup and dirt away from your face as you changed into your most comfortable pyjamas (which you were too lazy to do so hours ago), hearing the kettle whistling, signaling that your water was ready for your nighttime tea. You’d managed to pour yourself a cup before you got an incoming call from Mingyu. “Hello?”

“Y/N MY LOVELY ASSISTANT,” He bellowed from his end of the receiver and you had to turn down the volume despite the fact it was on speaker because he was that loud when he had a little too much alcohol in his system. “CAN. YOU. HEAR. ME.” You turned it down as low as it could go. “OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. GUYS I LOST Y/N.”

You laughed. “Mingyu I’m right here in the kitchen, getting ready to sleep. Are you home yet?”

“YOU’RE AT MY HOME. WITHOUT ME? HOW DO YOU HAVE MY KEYS? DID I LEAVE THEM IN YOUR CAR AGAIN?”

“Go home and get some sleep please. Call me in the morning.”

“I LOVE YOU BUDDY.”

“Me too pal. Me too.”

*

You watched in irritated amusement as Mingyu and his costar hung out behind the scenes as the subplot progressed onscreen, peering over at you occasionally just to make sure you hadn’t abandoned him completely, but also making sure he could see you in case he needed you to save him, not that he needed it. You knew one of his personal rules was to not date who he worked with, but this one seemed to bend the rules a bit. So far, they’ve had dinner after hours, went shopping a couple of times and even had Mingyu blow off parts of his day that you had planned for him to get done. All in all, you were amazed at it all. He was fighting it and fighting it well but you also knew you had to give him some kind of hell for it. After all, he’s missed several meetings even if they weren’t all that important; it was just mostly scheduling fanmeets, interviews and just anything to give his upcoming movie publicity. (The fans might’ve done that enough though.) They were called back to the main screen not much later with you telling him it was the final shot of the day and you’d meet him back in your hotel room, so while they were getting ready for the big climax, you used that as an excuse to grab breakfast/lunch/dinner.

You’d been there since early in the morning, only snacking on pretzels and whatever what was put out on the table and if you didn’t get food in your system soon, you were sure you’d pass out from lack of nutrition. (As it was, you were cranky and your headache wasn’t helping.) Fast food was, unfortunately your only option, so you grudgingly ordered your meal (and another for the ever ravenous boy because he’d cause a mini scene until you relented so you spared yourself the guilt trip early.)

Getting to your suite, you set everything on the counter, kicked off your shoes and turned on the TV, getting some rest before eating. (Being an assistant was more tiring than you let on. Mingyu tried his hardest to make it easy for you, treating more like an equal rather than someone who was constantly waiting on his orders. You very rarely saw his diva side, which he used only when cast and crew were both assholes not only to him, but to you. He admired your efficiency, occasionally buying you a card saying he appreciated what you did for him, and your friendly demeanor even when you were put in the worst circumstances. It was only at home and your you time when he released the frustrations.) You hadn’t even known that you had fallen asleep until you felt someone shaking your shoulder telling you to wake up. You opened your eyes to find Mingyu looking at you with slight concern and you waved him off, standing up and stretching. “I didn’t hear you knocking.”

“I just got home and I was wondering if you wanted to grab a bite and go for ice cream afterward but I can see you got dinner covered and you look too tired to...get up again.” Which was true. You fell back on the couch which had made him pause his sentence. He shook his head and instead brought the bags of burgers and fries to you, taking a spot next to you. He passed you your order (which had grown cold) and changed the channel, growing more unsatisfied with every show he skipped. He finally stopped when he saw one of his old movies, wordlessly asking you if you were okay with it and you just shrugged. He smiled to himself, turning the volume up and finally taking a bite of his burger.

It was his first lead role, having just finished a television series as a supporting character (Jeon Wonwoo’s no less), which had you questioning why he had wanted to hire you of all people. He had seen you at a cafe and over the course of watching you carefully organizing your notes, taking various phone calls (because in this day, everyone preferred standard texting and email), and overall meticulously and painstakingly writing out your agenda for the week, right down to being able to pencil in a nap, he introduced himself to you. Of course you were starstruck and even a little afraid; of course you had a crush on him because of course you religiously had watched his show and were -unsurprisingly- counting down the day until you had a moment to watch his debut as a lead, not a side character. You first thought it was all a joke, some prank that was waiting to happen because of a date you had rejected a few days prior. Even when he reassured you that the offer was legit, you were skeptical because you were a student, not someone who had experience scheduling people’s life into your notebooks and keeping them busy.

He convinced you though, and as he got bigger, so did your paycheck, enabling you to pay off your debts and continuing your schooling online. He was happy with your choice because it meant he could spend time with someone around his age, and not lose his roots of being a young adult, trying to get parts of his life together. He didn’t tell you this sober but one night that he had too much to drink, he called you, emotions and alcohol impairing his speech but being able to thank you for being in his life and that the real reason he hired you was because he wanted someone to call a friend and remain faithful and not let fame get to his head. Thinking about that now, made you feel warm and fuzzy inside, despite shivering from your cold drink sliding down your throat. “I’m glad you hired me,” you commented to no one in particular, but you know he needed to hear it sometimes.

“Even though I scared the shit out of you?”

You mulled it over just a bit. He only reason he had come off as intimidating as he did was because of his height. He towered over you and you were initially afraid that if you rejected his offer, he would do something, so you fearfully agreed. Needless to say, he was as scary as a housefly. “Even then.”

He smiled in your direction. “Me too.” And just like that, his own eyes closed, the long day washing over him as he fell asleep, the burger half eaten on his lap.

*

The movie, needless to say, was a complete success, breaking his previous record and going straight to #1 at the box office on opening weekend alone. It helped with all the time he spent with his costar outside of the filming sets and with whatever you were able to book whether it had been planned from the get go or some strings his agent had helped pull as well as charity events.

Kim Mingyu had a certain boyish charm to him that had eyes on him constantly and the more he was seen in public, the better. His biggest asset, ironically enough was his clumsiness. Most, if not all, of his fans related to him due to clips you constantly uploaded to social media of him dropping things, falling from his bed, him forgetting about that last step at the top of the stairs which because you were busy recording, often had him tripping over it and taking you down with him.

Any dating rumors were squashed as quickly as they surfaced, which intrigued his fans as well as his costar’s and many quickly integrated, shipping them and discussing conspiracy theories that proved they were secretly together.

It was a funny thing seeing them fighting amongst the fans that were convinced it was you dating Mingyu. I mean, with all the time you spent together and all the times you’ve blocked each other and going live about it, it did seem rather likely. You yourself almost believed it, but you knew better and how well he maintained his professionalism with everyone. In all the time you’ve worked for him, he’s been in one steady relationship with someone when he went back to his hometown after his big break and was outed. It was apparently quite the scandal. Your quick thinking gave him time off and how to address the situation when the time came but that you knew of there was someone else a little before you were hired.

It seemed he brought back the zombie trend with his latest blockbuster because in the weeks that followed, you saw a lot of makeup tutorials that resembled the undead and official merch were popping up everywhere. You showed them all to Mingyu who never ceased to be awestruck and sometimes even dumbfounded because he was just doing his job: being someone else while maintaining his own personality.

His latest success meant a lot more interviews which was fine with you both until you had to leave him for a week because of a termite infestation that occurred in your apartment complex and while the bad news was that it was condemned, you were able to throw your belongings in a storage unit and you decided to deal with that after Mingyu took time off. During that time, you had a realization of just how much time you spent together. It was strange looking a few feet away from you and not seeing the six foot human within eyesight and sometimes you could swear that you heard his voice somewhere. You missed him terribly, you’d admit that much. It was one thing when y’all had vacation time and purposely silenced your work phone but it was another thing to constantly be checking on his replacement to make sure he was on schedule and you followed up with Mingyu himself because he knew how you could be. His favorite phrase seemed to be, “There was a little hitch...kidding!”, followed by his predictable events before ending with a subtle whine of when you were coming back which had him counting down the days, even though yougave him a wrong estimate.

The day you were due to come back, you were running late, leaving you frustrated because you had planned to surprise him over breakfast, but because life and delays, you didn’t get to him until late afternoon. According to the day’s schedule, he was at a fan meet, so you hightailed it to the venue and arrived, skid marks all but visible as you flew in. His replacement assistant looked relieved seeing you back, adjusting the headphone/microphone set that allowed you to hear what Mingyu and his fans were discussing in record time. You caught a lot of questions of why he looked so bummed and if everything was okay, and you could imagine him smiling as he assured everyone he was fine. He was not fine; he didn’t have you, according to everyone.

So you went up onstage to where he was at, putting a finger to your lips to hint at everyone waiting for him to remain silent. Because he was the star, he was at the very end, so it was quite a trek in your opinion at least, turning off your headset so the feedback wouldn’t give you away. You were behind him as a preteen fan finally reached him, trying to hold in her giddiness at seeing you two together. You waved her and her grin widened. “H-hi.” She held out a picture of him for him to sign. “C-Can I ask you a question?”

Mingyu nodded, the already preparing himself for his own generic answer as he autographed the photo. “Fire away.”

“Would you consider yourself brave like your character?” She eyed you when you put your hand over your mouth to hide your snort. Mingyu was about as brave as Winnie the Pooh going after heffalumps. It was you who often had to kill the spider to stop him from burning the place down. (No, you actually stopped by his place once to see him dousing his kitchen table with gasoline.) He’s even said he was staying with you once the apocalypse happened. (He was convinced it was inevitable.)

It still surprised you when he shook his head. “My character can do things I can only dream of like leading people and saving them and telling them what they need to hear. I can’t even say something without being afraid of what someone is gonna tell me…”

“Can I ask you something else?” She whispered this so low you almost missed it had Mingyu not nodded.

“If you could say something without fear...without consequence, what would it be?”

Smart kid, you figured, in both the question and the way she said it. It was a question that had you pondering.

Mingyu also seemed caught offguard by it, racking his brain to see how he could answer. Finally he spoke. “I guess I’d tell someone I’m close to how much I love them.”

“What’s stopping you Oppa?”

“A lot of things, I guess.” Her eyes widened and when they flickered to you, you shook your head, and used it as the opportunity to announce your presence by grabbing his shoulders and making him jump. You were really curious about who he was talking about, but that wasn’t your business.

“Yah, you punk,” he scolded you, “you were supposed to be here two days ago.” He broke out into his signature grin. “I missed you.”

“And they're here to see you,” you gestured towards his steadily growing line that had their phones out, recording the little interaction. You backed away slowly as he returned to his adoring fans, hearing everything they said, smiling at some of the comments and laughing when you heard something particularly funny (mostly when they mentioned him looking cheery because of a certain someone cough cough you.) Once the event was over, he rushed over to engulf you in a well deserved hug because in Mingyu time, a week was the equivalent of two years. You wrinkled your nose. “You’re gross and sweaty. Go shower and change your clothes. I’m gonna help everyone pick up.”

“But I wanna take you out to dinner. I haven’t seen you in a week. My shower can wait. ”

“I’m not going near you until you’re clean,” you pointed out. You folded a few chairs and took them to their place. “Why are you still here? Go.”

*

You felt like you could use the shower, but at least you felt useful. The crew thanked you tenfold and bid you a great evening as they retired for the day. You were happy to report to Mingyu (once he got out that is) that this was his last thing for awhile so he could finally go on that vacation he was planning, which sucked on your part because you just got back and you were already gonna separate again. And not to mention the house hunt you were about to go on. You walked back to where the dressing rooms were, hoping to rush the actor.

He was already waiting by one of the front doors, leaning against it. You walked up to him and he surprised you by meeting you halfway, saying nothing. He ran a hand through his damp hair, studying you, a very un-Mingyu like thing to do.

“Hey,” you greeted him shyly. “You ready to get going?”

He walked up to you slowly, a rather bashful smile appearing on his face, giving him the look a child who’s about to ask if he could have ice cream before bed, and expecting a no in return. “I...just have to do something first.” He bit the inside of his lip, exhaling slowly, gaining courage before taking your face in his hands and kissing you hesitantly, slowly, carefully, but reluctantly pulling away to assess your reaction, foreheads touching. You remembered what he had said to the young fan earlier, blanking out on what to tell him. The only logical reaction was to stare at him puzzled, and he chuckled, despite it not going how he quite imagined it, his voice sounding deep and labored. “I talked to a fan earlier, before you got there, and she asked me if I could do something and not be scared and she asked why I hadn’t done it yet…”

“Me?” You cut him off.

“You heard?”

“I caught a few of your conversations but I thought you’d had enough of everyone asking why you were sad. I didn’t think…” You exhaled. “Why me?”

“Why not you? Everything you do for me...to pushing me so I’m on top of it, to assure me I’m doing all I can, to just making sure I’m not overworking myself, and-and even with how much time we spend together...how can I not pick you?”

“It’s my job. I’m supposed to do all of that.”

“Y/N, not even my agent knows what I’m supposed to do until she has orders from you that it’s been okayed from physicians to trainers to nutritionists. I...I don’t know anyone else that would go that far. I’m pretty sure you even know when I’m about to get sick because sometimes I get a hint of something medicinal in my drinks.”

It was hard to look away from him, especially when his gaze was unwavering and he was as close to you as he was. You cared about him and his wellbeing; it was obvious enough when you let him get an extra hour or two of sleep instead of rushing him out the door to get from point A to point B, and when you cut off his sugar supply when he’s had enough; you even squeezed time in with his old friends because he worked hard, sometimes too hard. You tenderly brushed his hair from his face. “Me?” you repeated incredulously.

He nodded, looking as sure as he felt. “You.” He finally allowed himself to smile. “I just...I really love you.”

Your heart pounded at his confession. He had thousands, if not, millions of admirers worldwide, a dream to everyone who had known or met him, and his own heart...was yours. You hadn’t expected your eyes to shut to keep the tears in, but they did and it was your turn to exhale. “Mingyu.” You paused. “This isn’t just something because I just came back, isn’t it?”

“I missed you the whole time you were gone,” he confessed. “But it was also more than that. Every time you’re not around, it’s hard for me to focus and get everything done. It’s like part of me is missing and it’s dumb because I know you’re always here, but I’m afraid that one day you’re gonna go somewhere and not come back and the only thing I’ll have to remember you by is a text saying you’re sorry.” He shook his head at the thought, his confidence deflating because you hadn’t said anything to accept or reject him.

“Kim Mingyu, I think I’d at least tell you in person because really? A text?” You smiled at your half assed attempt to make him laugh, but you poked his cheek upward. “I-I couldn’t leave you even if I wanted to. We’ve done too much together as it is...and it’d be a shame to not know what could be between us.”

He perked up at that. “I...you mean that?”

“Oh my god Mingyu! Just ask me out or I swear-” He cut you off with another kiss, this one longer and more passionate and full of happiness that radiated onto you.

#seventeen #seventeen fic #seventeen x reader #seventeen fanfic #seventeen imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen scenarios #seventeen drabbles #seventeen kpop #kim mingyu x reader #kim mingyu imagines #kim mingyu scenarios #kim mingyu #mingyu scenerios #mingyu x reader #seventeen au #mingyu au #kim mingyu au #seventeen oneshot #mingyu oneshot #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop fluff

[dcarhcarts]

This.....is the 1000th post on this blog, and I definitely waited until that could be true to post it, and that’s honestly? Very fitting. Seriously, you guys are a m a z i n g and I have literally never done a milestone before so I can’t tell you what it’s supposed to look like?? But we’ve somehow Miraculously (tm) managed to reach 100 followers and - anyway, this is going to be me very unprofessionally gushing about everyone because....I love you all and you’re all amazing aaaaaa. I’m??? Literally so blessed to have made friends and write with all of you. Y’all with multiple blogs, I’m only tagging once so I don’t spam your feed ok? And - as usual, this is going to get Long, because everything I do gets Long apparently. I tried to do it chronologically but IDK how well it worked oops.

THE LOVES OF MY LIFE, THE SUN IN MY EYES, MY MOON AND STARS

@ccrrupticn  / D!!!! you are?? literally the reason I made this blog?? Without you, this thing would n o t mcfreaking exist omg!! You’re such an amazing writer (seriously, you manage so many muses and you give them all such distinct voices??? witchcraft???) and also so ???ridiculously kind! I love gushing to you about our Kids and you’re honestly A Saint (tm) for dealing with all of my blog construction/life related breakdowns, my crazy crossover headcanons and crashing into your inbox rambling about musicals <3 I miss talking to you so hmu whenever you come back if you want!!

@personnages /  Lynna!! You’re like an Actual Angel. I think you were the first person!! who talked to me??  And You were So Nice and Welcoming that you literally soothed half of my fears coming into rpc like immediately?? You basically helped me figure out how diminutives work and you’re responsible for me adding at least 3 of my muses and I cannot tell you how much I love you and every time you pop onto my dash/feed/discord/etc, it just makes me happy inside <3 Definitely 100000% will follow you to every blog (if you’ll have me lmao) regardless of fandom!! i’m super excited about all of our ship/friendship roulettes and you’re just an absolute joy to talk to.

@nikolacvnas / LYDIA goodness you are a W O N D E R. Probably the best? Historically based blog I’ve ever encountered, and definitely one of my favorite parts of the Anastasia rpc!! The care and research and attention to detail that goes into your portrayals are a s t o n i s h i n g? Your Tatya is divine, your Maria is So Lovely and I Cry For Joy that you write Dima honestly. I’d been eyeing your blog for a little bit before I made my own - and I was honestly a little scared of you when we started cause you are a GODDESS and I am a potato, but then we talked??? and you’re hilarious and a ridiculously kind person and I love you? And of course, I love your dog (the cutest in the universe).

@mythostold / LESLIE~  Different blog, same story~ Man, I’ve been following you since maybe day two of this blog being active? No matter which fandom you end up in and which muse you write, you have such!! good!!! takes!!! For one, I love reading your meta posts??? Like you’re just so incredibly passionate about your muses?? And your writing style is so good aaaaaaa it’s so atmospheric. And on top of all of that - you’re??? such a sweet and incredible??? person??? And I love talking to you boo <3 

@lifeawoke  /  NAT BBYSWEET <3 <3 <3  I have told the story of how I did a victory dance when you followed me to d e a t h probably but it’s t r u e your writing is amazing and your blog is amazing and y o u are amazing! You are the Natasha to my Sonya, and literally every time you send me a musing I’m like immediate-goofy-grin-heart-eyes???? It’s honestly a crime we don’t have more threads but like you’re an absolute joy to talk to and meme with and I adore you/your portrayal of beautiful bratty Natasha even if she drives my Sonya up the wall <3 You are Definitely the Funny Mutual lololol I crack up so much talking to you <3

@valianceearned / CARP you’re an amazing person/writer and holy h e c k am I impressed by your OCs!! They’re all so well thought out and developed? Your bios are so detailed and so much love and care is put into all of your characters. And your writing is so Lovely and it’s also very aesthetically lovely like holy heck the amount of work you put into both the content and the formatting? I am agog, I am aghast!! 

@gearsandlevers / Callie!!!!! YOU ROUND ALL THE CORNERS I STRAIGHTEN THE CURVES!! love your kids so much. Your Violet is a delightfully clever and likeable kid, your Evan might have literally walked off the stage two seconds ago, and you’ve put so much thought into your cinnabon stoner Henry. Your dialogue is amazing and I love our headcanon sessions lobbing ideas back and forth with you!! 

@spareisms / HEY MAGGIE GUESS WHAT YOU’RE WORTH MELTING FOR!!  You’re like the sweetest person alive??? How are you an Actual Real Life Disney Princess?? Your Anna is so well characterized and multi layered and I love how she an be so flawed but so brave and just how human she is. I’m very excited for your Anne Shirley too!! You’re a great writer (and a super sweet person aaaa) and I love you!! 

@gcneralvaganov /  Deanna, I have just one question: How? Have we only known each other for like 2 months???? It feels like my dash would literally be incomplete without you??  You play such deeply complex and incredibly flawed muses with such a great depth of respect and humanity. I love all of our AUs (we.....probably have a dozen by now), our long fix-canon tangents, and....look the inevitable conclusion to this whole thing is that we should....basically just write Anastasia tbh???  You’re incredibly funny and kind and talented and I’m so glad I yeeted myself into your IMs that first time 2 months ago! I love you, I love your muses, (Dima and Anya love their Dumb Boyfriend), and I love writing with you! 

@ncvaflows / ALEXA YOU ABSOLUTE LEGEND YOU. You??? Unlocked Ultimate AU Mode Ro and it’s like I c a n ‘ t stop?? First off, I cannot believe we literally own the same books and like the same barbie movies. How are we not literally the same person??  (Maybe w e ’ r e Anneliese and Erika lmao). Honestly from day 1 you’ve been so welcoming and lovely and I’m so glad we crashed into each other’s IMs yelling at top volume about random ya lit/movies/aus!! I adore literally all of your OCs (is everyone a b s o l u t e l y sure they’re not canon??? hmmmmm a Mystery)???? In the words of Li Shang, “You WRITE GOOD????” Anyway you’re amazing and I love you <3

WHILE IT’S DEFINITELY MY FAULT FOR BEING AN ANXIOUS BEAN WE REALLY NEED TO TALK MORE OFTEN CAUSE I LOVE YOU

@curtainrisen / Rebekah, dude, you’re a wonder. Your muses??? So diverse, and your voices for them? Super on the nose and amazing. I love your Helene and how human she is, and I really gotta toss more of my kids at you (Super excited for Duke!!). You’re real chill to meme with and I love talking/writing with you!!

@heartlosttravelers / Tor!! I love that you stan Raoul de Chagny So Hard ( the pure cinnamon roll boy deserves it honestly) and you’re super cool and great to talk to! All your muses are a m a z i n g and I always love the read when you pop up on my dash! 

@damerusse / Marie!! You’re hella chill. Your memes???? 10000000% actually legendary. Meming with you cracks me The Heck Up. Lily is forever the puppy dealer, that is all, thank you, gnight. Ok for real though - your Lily is pretty Legendary too and you really got all that Spark and Fire right down. You’re amazing, and I love stalking your threads on my dash!  

@lionhvrted / Fortune, my buddy my pal, we really be Out Here making Jane Austen plots even m o r e rom-com. Like. How did we manage that??? We might be literally magical lmao. We don’t have a ton of stuff going on at the moment but I love our dumb pining kids and I love the justice and humanity you give to your Caroline, and Fitzy loves his (future) wife.

@guvernantka / P R U E I already love our Exasperated Big Sis / Annoying Lil Sis / LITERALLY WHO EVEN ARE YOU YOU SMELLY DUMBASS LIL BRO IN LAW dynamic. You have the Best Sense of Humor (tm) and I’m always catching you when it’s like 12 in the morning here so I’m always cracking up silently in bed trying not to wake my roommies up. 

@anastcsie / I LOVE OUR ANGRY SMOL AND DIRTY TOL YOUNG-BUT-OLD MARRIED COUPLE AND THEIR OLDEST DAUGHTER NAMED MARIA ALREADY.  I love your Anya and how feisty and fiery she is (Dima, needless to say, loves his wife) and I love how chill (and hilarious!!) you are as a person. We do have a tendency to turn into angst monsters 24/7 but honestly that’s half the fun!! 

@asundrop / Polly!!!! ok so I know we haven’t really done anything w/ Raps (yet muahaha) BUT b o y was I hella excited when I found someone willing to yell about CDrama with me??? Thank you for being the Eternally Stoic/Always Annoyed Ancient God to my Tiny Dumb Fox Princess?? I love them and I love you (you’re hella cool) so there! 

@moretreasurewithin / KAAAATE goodness it’s only been a couple of days but I’m So Comfortable talking to you already? You’re just honestly really amazingly kind and I love screaming about Anastasia with you. We gotta get more going but I love your Dima and Maria Already (tm) and I love your sense of humor (here’s to torturing Dima with ties!!) and I can’t wait to get to know you better!

@annastrxng / AAAA somehow I managed to chat with you and then?? We never got anything going and it’s definitely mostly my fault cause of that High Anxiety (and also the fact that I got Immediately Busy) but you are literally So Nice and The Most Understanding and super great to talk to!! I hope we get something going in the future!! 

@soulcrossed / ROSE we have the same name I keep forgetting this lmao BUT ANYWAY. All your muses?? Amazing. You gotta throw more of them at me. Your Sophie?? Are you Actually Diana Wynn Jones in disguise?? I love our crazy au/headcanon sessions and I love/hate that you’re The Worst Enabler and I’m inevitably going to end up with the other two Hatter sisters on this blog lmao. 

I HAVEN’T TALKED TO YOU TON YET BUT HI!!! YOU SEEM CHILL!!

@alonecour / @steeledstark / @professor-of-predators / @sclskinn / @dulcettc / @volaticoux / @frxncaise / @argelfrasterr / @i-wrote-myway / @zharptiitsa / @villainsfall / @anyaromanovarp / @agoodandloyalrussian / @aliquisinter 

AND EVERY ONE OF Y’ALL AMAZING PEOPLE OUT THERE I’M ADMIRING SILENTLY FROM AFAR EVEN NOW BECAUSE I CHICKENED OUT OF TAGGING YOU LAST MINUTE CAUSE WHAT IF YOU’RE LIKE “LMAO WHO IS THIS WEIRDO TAGGING ME??” (p.s. this is 100000% permission to slide into my IMs/like a plotting call/etc. I honestly think y’all are hella cool and probably love you already)

#follow forever #( milestone ) #( ooc ) ✵ ~ CHANDELIERS AND CAVIAR ~ / #((................you know i made more friends than i thought i would coming into rpc as an anxious smol)) #((I LOVE YOU ALL YOU'RE ALL AMAZING)) #((thanks for putting up w/ me & my Super Anxious Self)) #((ok i'm just gonna post this before i forget and reblog something and miss the 1000th post))