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#thankfully the movies are only semi canon
rabbitsrants · 26 days
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What do you think of D.C.'s M26, do you think it was just a fire of pairs for us Shinran?
SPOILERS FOR MOVIE 26
i think, in total there are two significant shinran moments worth talking about
i enjoy certain elements of the first scene:
ran impulsively goes after a member of the black organization and puts herself in danger because he poses a threat to haibara. their fight is AMAZING, i love how ran dominates pinga despite him attacking her with a knife
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something similar happens in the manga as well (chapter 434), so the writing for ran absolutely tracks here
chianti sees the fight and interferes by attempting to shoot ran - shinichi barely manages to save her in time
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here's the thing: i absolutely hate the writers for often reducing ran to a damsel in distress in these movies, that's an issue i'll further analyze in a bit
with that being said, i don't mind shinichi saving ran in this scene. it's an impactful shinran moment, cause so far the writing is similar to the manga
the only difference between chapter 434 and this movie is the fact that shinichi actually sees what's happening and is able to actively protect ran. i don't have a problem with that, because that's what shinichi and ran do - they protect each other.
what i love even more is how shinichi decidedly urges ran to stay put, i think that's also very in character for him:
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he wants ran nowhere near the black organization, for very specific reasons that i'll get into another post
so far, this is a well executed scene, right? it's a very realistic, high-stakes moment that we'd expect from the manga. so far, so good, right? RIGHT?!
no. cause this is where the movie writers fuck up:
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W H A T
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ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! SHE ACTUALLY STAYS?! AND WHEN SHIN TELLS HER TO RUN, SHE RUNS?! WHAT?!
this is is supposed be ran??? no fucking way.
my girl is the definition of reckless and stubborn. she's not just the type of person who'll enter a burning house to save a girl she barely knows (chapter 174), she's also the type of person who refuses to waste a single second when human lives are at stake. no matter how much shinichi begs her to stay away.
chapter 640
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and she does this in chapter 822 on the mystery train as well: shinichi yells at the detective boys, sonoko and ran, he tells them not to leave their room, no matter what. and ran repeatedly attempts to go against his instructions because she's worried about haibara, despite receiving a text message that she's okay, btw. ran's intuition tells her that something is wrong with haibara, so she's gonna fucking look for haibara!!!
i need the movie writers to understand that my girl is absolutely unhinged. she cares about other people very deeply, to the point where she's incapable of watching from the sidelines as they potentially get hurt
so how would i have written this moment? what would've been a more realistic version of this scene?
shinichi and ran get into an intense fight: shin desperately urges ran to stay put, she refuses to listen. and then there'd be two possible outcomes:
a) ran continues to go after pinga and dies in the process (remember, ran was fully prepared to die for haibara in chapter 434)
b) shinichi realizes that he can't stop ran and offers her a safer way to help. ran accepts and they work together as a team to get haibara back
why didn't the movie writers go for this approach? my theory: they don't want ran to take a bigger role in these movies, so option b) was a no-go for them. obviously it'd make even less sense for them to kill off ran, but like i already explained, there's no way ran would just give up on haibara in that moment
so why include this moment at all? what's the point of starting such a strong scene if you're not gonna progress the plot?
the point is ran being a damsel in distress.
which brings me to the second shinran moment in this movie:
ran goes after pinga again and he kicks her off the balcony, she's about to fall and get hurt
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kuroda ends up saving her and shinichi feels inadequate
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..............
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AGAIN, THERE'S NO PLOT PROGRESSION, THE ONLY POINT OF THIS SCENE IS TO MAKE HER LOOK WEAK
idk who this woman is but this ain't ran
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HERE'S RAN FUCKING MOURI FOR Y'ALL
a woman who's consistently depicted as strong, fierce and very capable of protecting herself:
chapter 43
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chapter 169
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and that's not to say that shinichi doesn't worry about her sometimes, ofc he does:
chapter 493
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but that doesn't take away from the fact that she's a fucking badass who can defend herself
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and it's not just that she's capable of protecting herself, she protects shinichi too.
chapter 5
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..........
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it's like the movie writers read the manga, took note of moments where shinichi comes through for ran but completely forgot that it's mutual, they come through for each other:
chapter 389
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chapter 1050
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the movie staff doesn't get ran, they seem to have no idea how strong or caring she is and i hate how much it's hurting the fandom's perception of her
in conclusion:
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visit the shinran library for more
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micamicster · 25 days
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Trouble Man
this is. okay. this is. marvel fic. (throw your tomatoes now okay get it over with i understand i'll wait) but since we are in 2013 mentally. I thought i might as well? Bucky scene to follow!
[This is "canon compliant" if you imagine that the author has not seen any marvel movies post black panther (the first) and has seen maybe four episodes (not consecutive) of the sam bucky tv show. because she hasn't. enjoy!]
~
Sam lowers himself stiffly onto the steps of the porch, then keeps going, tipping his head back until it hits the top step. The stretch brings a good ache with it, a familiar one, that briefly overshadows the crueler hurts still lingering under the suit. He sighs.
He can feel Bucky more than see him, standing just outside of the ring of light cast by the porch lamp. He’s doing that thing that other people call looming, but Sam has come to see as more of an anxious hovering. Something Bucky does when he’s got something to say and isn’t sure how to say it, or thinks he should be doing something but he’s not quite sure what it is. It shows up a lot when Sam is fucked over and dead on his feet, so he associates it with the worst of Bucky’s mother-hen impulses. What a life he leads.
“Steve—“ starts Bucky, and thankfully stops there. Even the name hurts to hear. He doesn’t want to talk about Steve right now.
For a minute there’s just the darkness, the faint breeze stirring the wind chimes and the leaves, the distant rumble of a semi on the main road… all familiar and comforting and in their places. And then there’s Bucky.
“I make it harder,” says Bucky. “For you.”
Sam swallows. He’s grateful for the arm he threw over his face, for the way it obscures his facial expression. Bucky’s always looking. He looks too hard, like he’s trying to crack Sam open and see all the pieces. Figure him out.
“It was always going to be harder for me. It’s not because of you, man. This was always going to be…” he’s so tired. “Hard.”
“But I don’t make it easier.”
“Yeah, you’re a real pill, I won’t lie to you.”
Bucky snorts faintly, but he doesn’t loosen up and sit down next to Sam, toss the insult back, cut the hovering. There are faint clicks and shuffling as his arm recalibrates, the closest thing he has to a nervous tic. What has Sam’s life become, that the faint whirr of an assassin shifting his metal arm is familiar enough that he can pick it out of the sounds of home with his eyes closed?
He lets himself consider, for a moment, what it would be like if Steve was here. By his side again but with their places swapped, Captain America’s right hand man. Steve, with his wry sense of humor and his aw-shucks grin and his noble, idealistic heart. His roman nose that Bucky had broken with a fastball in 1937. His blond hair and his blue eyes and his experimental ubermensch shoulders and…
He tries to shrug, but it’s more of a wince. Everything is one big fucking bruise. “If it wasn’t you, it’d be something else. There’s always something else.”
Bucky is silent.
As the silence draws out Sam feels a flicker of fear. By the next breath it’s panic—that Bucky’s slipped away already, vanished into the dark like the ghost he is. That he walks away from all of this and leaves Sam twisting in the wind.
He sits up too fast, muscles screaming in protest, and Bucky’s right there where he always is. Looking at him.
“Don’t,” Sam starts. Don’t what? Don’t leave him alone?
He has dreams, sometimes, where he’s still chasing Bucky. Where he never stopped. Searching for him through cities and train stations and his own old high school gymnasium with the strange driving logic of dreams, knowing only that he’s lost something. Dreams where he’s running through a crowd, grabbing people to look in their faces—it’s never the right face.
He doesn’t want to do this shit alone. He’s a social motherfucker, he’s not cut out for the lone hero shtick.
He tries saying that, and Bucky only frowns harder. At least it’s his “I don’t understand the way you speak,” frown, which is a personal favorite.
 “You have people. You have… options.” Options who aren’t infamous soviet assassins with weekly thinkpieces published on the topic of his guilt or innocence or sanity, Sam assumes he means.
“Options? Name three.” So maybe he’s being stubborn about stupid crap, but he’s fucking tired, okay? It’s been a long day, full of gooey aliens and collapsing buildings and combative press conferences, and now he has to deal with… whatever this has turned into.
“Torres. Natalia. Sh—“
“I thought you were my partner. I thought you were my… guy.” He glares at what he can see of Bucky. His frowning face is still half-hidden in shadow, because he’s an idiot who operates on vampire rules. An invitation, then, Sam can do that. “That means you’re here until I tell you to get lost, okay? Let’s make it real fucking easy. When I say you’re here, you’re here.”
“I’m here,” Bucky parrots. There’s something soft in his eyes as he moves to give Sam a hand up. Maybe it’s just the flickering yellow porch light, maybe not.
~
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suffcring · 1 month
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did you have a muse you tried to play, but didn’t feel connected to?
did you have muse you tried to play, but ended up dropping for various reasons? (the rpc wasn’t active, you lost interest, etc)
what do you think of your muse’s popular fandom ship? (Copia)
is your muse canon divergent in any way? (Copia)
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I love John Constantine (Hellblazer, not the good movie, bad adaption) but couldn't manage him. I did try, but there's something about the way he speaks that doesn't come naturally to my mind, and I had re-read all of my individual issues of the Hellblazer run like fifteen times trying. It's a bummer because I think, if I could manage him, he'd be a lot of fun. But it's just not something that comes to me
The first time I wrote Kaine, I had to bail. I got a lot of hate for not writing him exactly to canon -- I can't remember what detail I forgot from the Clone saga, but it got me so much fucking anon hate, I had to bail. But he is one of my favorite characters, so after a few years, I came back to him and asked my friend who writes Peter (alas, he hasn't been around lately) if I could use his adapted MCU plot for his older Peter for my Kaine, and he said yes. And then Spiderverse dropped and I felt a lot better as a whole because I could always just be like "This is my specific Kaine, he's not 100 percent canon" even though I didn't really change much of anything from his canon. I think we've discussed before, and I definitely talked about it with Cas but that whole incident changed how I write a character and who I write. I feel like if I don't know every detail that's available to know, I cannot write that character. And so finding out some people will pick up muses from movies that haven't come out yet, or that they haven't seen any of the canon for, and this is normal and they do just fine with it blows my fucking mind.
The fun thing about Ghost is that because there's so few characters that aren't related, there really aren't any standout popular ships. I do enjoy Copia with people's oc siblings of sin, and I like him okay with most of the Ghouls, too. I don't have anything off to say about any combination of them -- I think Copia is very open to love and being loved, and that makes it easier. The only semi popular ship I have negative thoughts about is Copi.iia, but a lot of that ship content is from before we knew they were brothers and I also just. Don't like the dynamic as much, even if they weren't. IMO, Copia killing his brothers when up until recently he thought he had no family to ascend is more interesting than Copia killing his lover to ascend. But that's just my tastes.
Thankfully, there isn't really much canon to go off of, and what there is kind of varies wildly between his Cardinal era and his Papa era. I think part of that is Tobias originally intended Copia to be disliked by the fandom, but we're all weirdos who adored a cunty little Cardinal and so... Tobias made him a lot more goofy and a lot softer. I personally try to weave both in to my portrayal, though I know many people choose to write Copia as mostly good, and that's totally okay and just as valid as me choosing to write him as a little evil. None of the people who roleplay him but a lot of like fandom at large is like "look at him being awkward and autistic, how could you think he was evil?" and that really rubbed me the wrong way, as an autistic person. So!
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reidgraygubler · 3 years
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5 Times Aaron Hotchner Cares For You +1 Time You Care For Him
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Title: 5 Times Hotchner Cares For You +1 Time You Care For Him
Request: kinda, not really
Couple: Aaron Hotchner/Reader
Category: Angst w/ the littlest bit of fluff
Content Warning: swearing (if any), several instances of injuries, assault, car accident, being sick (nothing serious, just a bad cold), gun violence (but no one actually getting shot), talks of near death experiences, canon consistent injuries (hotch's injuries from foyet), season 9 ep 5 spoilers/mentions, vague mentions of something bad happening to kids
Word Count: 5,601
Summary: the five times aaron hotchner takes care of you when you’re injured, plus the one time you take care of him when he’s injured.
A/N: this was writing for pom’s discord server fic swap! I was paired with the wonderful @ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff! I took a few of his favorite tropes and prompts he likes and came up with this! The first two instances there’s no relationship, but by the end it’s sort of an implied relationship. Also, I binged dharma and greg while writing this… So Hotch definitely has more of a domestic vibe in a few of the instances. thank you all so much for the support! i really do appreciate it. check out my masterlist!
{***}{***}{***}
One
It was a regular day. You stayed behind to help Aaron and Jennifer work over some cases. The extra pair of eyes would be nice, and maybe they’d be able to get home sooner rather than later. You knew it’d be a late-night no matter what. So you decided to work through your files quickly.
Although, you wished you’d slow it down a bit. You wished you slowed down after you moved a paper just the right way across your finger. A hiss came from your lips as you dropped the paper and file to the table.
“You alright?” Jennifer looked over at you as you stood up. Looking down at your fingers, liquid red came seeping from your finger. Your nose wrinkled as you looked at the injury. It took you a minute to realize what happened as you started at the minor injury across your finger.
“Papercut,” you winced as you looked between Jennifer and the cut on your finger. You brought your finger to your lips, sucking on the wound like a child would have done.
“I have bandaids in my office,” Aaron spoke, looking up from his file and right at you. You looked over at him, your finger still in your mouth. You felt a little weird staring at your boss and superior with your finger in your mouth. “Here, I’ll go get you one,” he looked up at you as he stood. You stared at him, watching him leave the conference room.
“I should go with him, right?” You asked, looking back at JJ. She looked up from her file and right at you.
“He offered you bandaids quicker than I could,” JJ laughed as she lowered her file to the table. You raised an eyebrow at her. “I’d go with him,” a smile grew on JJ’s lips as she looked back at her file.
“Right, I should,” you mumbled as you rushed to your feet. JJ grinned, watching as you rushed out of the room. You were quick as you rushed down the platform, going right to Aaron’s office.
“Unfortunately, I only have Batman bandaids. Is that alright?” Aaron looked up at you, holding a bandaid with Batman and Robin on it. You looked at him, feeling a small smile grow on your lips before nodding.
“Batman will work just fine,” you laughed as you met Aaron in the middle of his office.
“I don’t have anything to clean it with either. So you’ll just have to go to the bathroom. Next time I’ll be better prepared.” Aaron laughed as you took the band-aid from him and looked down at it. “Jack’s the one who picked the theme of the band-aids… Insisted that superheroes help heal all owies.” Aaron laughed again as he watched you examine the theme.
“Oh, no, really. Batman is perfectly fine," You spoke as you peeled the band-aid open and put it over your cut. “And, who said there would be a next time…?”
Two
You sat at the table, sweat pouring off you, while you somehow shivered like a leaf in the wind. You were simultaneously hot and cold, and you couldn’t stop your nose from running like a character in a Tom Hanks movie. You didn’t even realize Aaron was talking to you, everything he said to you went in one ear and out the other.
“Are you even listening to me?” Aaron stopped talking about the case and looked right at you. You looked up from the table and at him.
“Yeah, yeah you said something about…” Your words trailed off, just like any other thought you had at that moment.
“That’s not even close to what I said,” Aaron spoke as he stared at you. He placed the file he was holding on the table and stepped up to you. “Are you feeling fine?”
“I feel great, Aaron. Really. Let’s just get back to work so we can go home,” you rambled as you tried to hold down a cough. Aaron looked down at you as he placed the back of his hand on your forehead. To anyone on the outside, our relationship was strictly professional. But behind closed doors, you both had a pretty simple and normal relationship. It would have seemed weird only to the people in a work environment. But you were used to it and love that side of him.
“Nope, you’re going to the hotel. You’re burning up.” Aaron folded his arms over his chest as he stared at you.
“But I feel fine.” “You’re burning up.”
“But-”
“You’re going back to the hotel,” he spoke sternly, "Don’t even think about calling Garcia to spy on the case. Go back to the hotel, and get some rest.” Aaron looked down at you. You stared up at him, trying to hold back the sneeze or hold down the cough that was making you suffocate.
“I feel… I feel…” Unfortunately, you were cut off by a sneeze, then a cough, and then another sneeze, “Fine!” You tried not to shout, but at that point, you had never felt so… defeated. So you finally let your shoulders fall as you looked up at Aaron. “I’ll go back to the hotel,” you grumbled before grabbing your things.
“Call me if you need anything, please.” Aaron stared at you as you struggled to put your jacket on. He was quiet as he walked over to help you, grabbing a sleeve to your jacket and slipping it on you. You looked up at him with dewy eyes.
“Be safe out there, please,” you quietly pleaded. Aaron pressed his lips to your forehead, which he would regret because of how sweaty you were. You were happy it was just you and Aaron in the precinct, as all the other members of the team were at separate locations.
“Let me know when you get to the hotel.” Aaron walked beside you out to the parking lot. You looked up at him and nodded. “Get all the rest in the world, and drink plenty of fluids.” He looked down at you as he pulled the door open for you.
“Okay, Doctor Reid,” you scoffed and glared at him as you slipped into the car. Aaron returned the glare before pushing the door to the car shut.
The drive to the hotel was quiet, and thankfully pretty quick. You weren’t sure if you were happy to sit this case out. Sure it was nice to have a break from the stress. But you did enjoy being with the team and actually working.
When you finally got to the hotel, you were quick to change from your business-work attire and into your pajamas. You clicked the TV on and laid in bed. You weren’t sure when you drifted off, but you awoke to the door of your room clicking shut, and in a puddle of your own sweat.
“It’s just me,” Aaron spoke into the darkroom. You reached over and blindly turned the lamp on. Aaron was standing at the foot of the bed holding two paper bags in hand. “Sorry to wake you,” he whispered as he cringed. You assumed you looked like a mess as you sat up. You felt like one at least.
“It’s fine. It wasn’t restful anyway,” you sighed as you rubbed your face. It was an obvious lie too. You hadn’t slept that hard since before you started at the BAU. Aaron knew for a fact that you were sleeping pretty hard. The line of drool coming from your mouth, the exhausted look in your eyes, and the indentations in your skin from where the blankets were indicated just how hard you were sleeping.
“How are you feeling?” Aaron asked as he placed the bags on the table. You watched as he pulled out a bottle of orange juice, a box of popsicles, and a bowl of soup.
“Like I ran headfirst into a brick wall then hit by a semi-truck.” You spoke truthfully. Aaron raised an eyebrow as he walked over to you with the soup in one hand and the orange juice in another. “It’s probably a good thing I didn’t stay at the station with you.”
“Well there was a reason why I sent you back here,” Aaron laughed as he placed the two items on the nightstand beside you. “I also got you NyQuil and Ibuprofen. And, I can get you ice from the machine down the hall,” he continued as he sat beside you on the bed.
“You’re the best,” you whispered as you picked up the soup. “How’s the case going?”
“It’s going. There’s been another victim,” Aaron honestly answered. You frowned as you looked away from the soup and up at him.
“I wish there was something I could do to help.” And it was true. But there was a little bit of a lie in your words. You’d much rather stay in the hotel room wrapped up in blankets watching movies on your phone.
“You’re helping by staying here and getting rest. We don’t want Reid overreacting to you being with the rest of us,” Aaron laughed as he looked at you. You laughed and nodded.
“You’re right, you’re right,” you sighed and sat back in the bed, “You should get rest too. You’ll have an early morning….”
“Now… I’m the one who’s taking care of you,” Aaron scolded. You stared at him before blinking slowly. “I’m at least going to shower first. You better be asleep by the time I get out.”
“Can do, Sir… But only if you give me that bottle of NyQuil first.”
Three
“Get down!” You shouted as you looked at the victim. The little girl looked over at you with terror in her eyes. You looked at the little girl, then up at the unsub. “Let the girl go, and maybe we can talk about a deal,” You spoke softly as you lowered your gun. Your partner in crime and in life, Aaron, appeared by your side, his weapon still in hand.
“Get out of here,” the unsub muttered as he shoved the little girl towards you and Aaron. The little girl went right to Aaron’s arms, causing you to look over at him.
“Take her, I got this,” You whispered as you nodded to the girl. Aaron wanted to argue, but he knew it was useless. Aaron glanced at you one last time before lifting the girl up and leaving.
“Look, I’m putting my weapon away,” You looked back at the unsub as you holstered your gun. The unsub looked at you for a moment before tricking you. The way the unsub moved made you think he was going one way, when in reality he went the other.
Before you knew it, the unsub threw a fist at your face before shoving you up against the wall. If you weren’t sitting on the ground, you would have chased after him. But you were too busy recollecting yourself to bother. It was a shock and everything happened so quickly. So it was a relief when you heard Aaron’s booming voice renter the room.
“Stay down!” Aaron yelled as he looked down at the unsub. You sat against the wall, your hand over your eye where the unsub punched you. Aaron was quick as he put cuffs on the already down unsub. The way Aaron glanced over at you worried you a little bit. You could tell there was a tiny bit of worry in his eye. You two would have to wait till other members of the team showed up before anything would happen.
“I’m fine, Aaron,” you mumbled as you stumbled to your feet. Aaron glanced down at the unsub before going to you to help you to your feet. “I said I was fine,” you whisper once you were standing behind him.
“You go outside, and get yourself some help. I’ll be right behind you with him,” Aaron’s grip on your arm was tight as you stood. You glanced at Aaron with a raised brow.
“I’m fine, Aaron,”
“Just listen to me,” Aaron insisted as he guided you towards the door. You looked at Aaron and the unsub one last time before going outside.
The rest of the team was by your side, bringing you to an ambulance.
“Where’s Hotch,” Emily asked as one of the EMTs helped you. You graciously took the ice pack from the EMT and held it to your face.
“He said he’d be right behind me. Is the little girl okay?” You asked as you worried more about the little girl, rather than yourself. Emily gestured over to where the little girl was reunited with her family. A wave of relief washed over you once you saw the family back together.
Aaron was quick to your side when he was outside. You didn’t want to question why he took so long inside with the unsub. You were just happy he was back beside you.
“Bastard packed quite the punch,” you nervously chuckled as you looked to the ground. Aaron leaned against the ambulance rig before looking over at you.
“Next time I’m staying with the unsub,” Aaron muttered as he rested a hand on your shoulder. You looked up at him as you dropped your hand and ice pack from your face.
“You know, Aaron,” you started but let your words trail off with a chuckle.
“Are you going to finish that thought?” Aaron asked as he raised an eyebrow at you. You laughed again and shook your head.
“It’s no big deal that I got punched by an unsub. It wasn’t the first, and it most certainly won’t be the last time it’s happened,” You spoke softly as you tried to reassure your partner. Aaron breathed out a laugh and nodded.
Four
The unsub was cornered. Stuck between you, Aaron, and a brick wall with no way over it. You and the team had profiled everything about this guy perfectly. Or so you and Aaron had thought. You hoped there was an easy way for this to end. But you ended up being wrong when he raised his weapon in your direction. Aaron was doing everything he could to talk the unsub of the edge, to get him to lower his weapon. But it all ended up being for nothing.
For a brief moment, you weren’t entirely sure what had happened. All you knew was there was a loud bang, followed by a second bang, followed by you fell back to the ground. The wind was knocked right from your lungs, and breathing seemed to be a chore instead of a freewill thing. A sudden pain was in your chest, and sitting up was the furthest thing from your mind.
“Are you alright?” Aaron looked down at you with wide eyes.
“Am I dead?” You asked once you were able to take a deep breath. It was still a struggle for you. Aaron offered you a hand to help you sit up. You looked up at him before looking down at the bulletproof, kevlar vest. A bullet was lodged in the vest, saving your life.
“No, you aren’t.” Aaron helped you take the vest off. You sat back against the wall, the pain in your chest only growing.
“Are you sure?” You asked again, looking at Aaron with a small, but nervous, smile. Aaron returned the look with a raised brow, silently telling you now was no time for joking.
“You’ll have a bruise on your chest, but you should be fine. I would still get it checked out, just in case.” He added before helping you to your feet.
“Is he dead?” You looked down at the ground, your eyes instantly going to the cold body of your unsub. Aaron looked over at you with a crease in his brow and a solemn look in his eye.
“I couldn’t take any chances that he’d try to kill you. He’d already shot at you once.” Aaron explained once you had realized he’d killed the unsub. You understood why he did it, though. And frankly, you’d do the same if your places were swapped, you thought.
“Are the rest of the team and the police on their way?” You asked, already assuming the answer.
“Called them when you were down. Should be here at any minute.”
Five
“Are you alright?” Aaron asked as he looked over at you. The expression that he wore on his face was… exhausted and sad. You were sure you had the same expression, more on the sadder side. This last case was… a rough one to say the least. You tried not to think about the details of it, but all you could think about was Jack, and your nieces and nephews, and their safety. But it was hard when that was the only thing that occupied your mind on the ride home.
“No,” You muttered as you looked over at him. It was hard for you to hide the tears in your eyes. “I just wish there was more we could do,” You sighed deeply before bringing a hand to your face.
“We did everything we could do. You know that,” Aaron whispered as he looked over at you. You glanced at him, noting that he was still looking at you. “It’s always hard to know how things like this play out.” He added as he reached out to hold your hand. The grip he had on your hand was firm, tight enough to let you know he was there.
“No, no I know… It just… Sucks… I couldn’t even imagine being in the position as those parents.” You shivered with your words. Aaron glanced at you. You wiped your cheeks and shook your head. “Sometimes I wonder why I’m still even in this occupation. You ever wonder that?” You asked as you looked up at him. Aaron’s jaw steeled as he kept his eyes on the road. “Because, like… To me… I don’t know… With all the shit we see… Sometimes I’d rather just stay home with Jack,” You concluded with another sigh. That time Aaron looked over at you with a certain sadness in his eyes.
“I understand.” Aaron nodded. You weren’t sure about his tone. Though there was some honesty, at the same time you picked some uncertainty. You knew how long he’d been in the BAU, and you knew it’d be an even longer time before he left. He’s seen some shit. And, well, been through a lot of it as well. He’d fallen victim to a number of unsubs and lost more than one thing.
“You’re bad at this.” You stared at him as you pressed your head into the headrest. Aaron had a sad smile grow across his lips before glancing at you.
“I’m just a sounding board.”
“But… But you’re also my boss… And my partner… You should be more than a sounding board, Aaron.” You pointed out as you sat up a bit. “I might take some time off. This case really… It’s really affecting me in a bad way.”
“I’m sure Jack would love that. And Jessica,” Aaron laughed sadly as he glanced at you. “I’m always here for you. You know that. And if you feel like you have to take some time off, then I’ll be by your side then too.” He glanced over at you. You swallowed roughly before nodding.
“I’ll have to tell my boss when we get back to the office,” you laughed lightly. Aaron returned the laughter and shook his head.
“Don’t worry. He already knows.”
Plus One
When Aaron had gotten home from the hospital, you made it a point to take as much time as needed off so you could help him. Part of you thought everyone just assumed you were the one to go to Aaron’s apartment to help him. Of course, it was a fair assumption.
It was a rough scene when you arrived at Aaron’s apartment. It was a mess, but you partly expected that. It was more of a cluttered mess, with Jack’s toys and Aaron’s files strewn around the place. Maybe you’d help the pair out by cleaning up a little bit for them, too.
Jack was with his Aunt Jessica for the time being. He didn’t need to be exposed to the injuries and pain his father was going through. It wasn’t fair to the young boy. Jack had already gone through so much… What, with losing his mother, and nearly losing his father?
You quietly brought your go bag and backpack up the stairs and towards Aaron’s room. This wouldn’t be the first time you’ve spent the night at his house, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Although this time was different.
“What are you doing here?” Aaron asked as you entered his bedroom. You looked down at him with confusion and mild anger on your face.
“You… You had no one to take care of you,” You whispered as you looked at him. Aaron’s features softened slightly, but you could still see his own confusion and annoyance on his face. “What? With Jessica taking care of Jack, and the team off doing… team-y things… I figured I’d help,” you shrugged as you dropped your bags to the foot of Aaron’s bed.
“I don’t need anyone taking care of me. I can do it myself,” Aaron stubbornly refused your offer. Although it wasn’t an offer. You were determined to help him whether he wanted it or not.
“Don’t be silly, Aaron,” You crossed your arms over your chest as you stared at Aaron, “I’ll take care of you." You looked down at Aaron as he readjusted his position. You grimaced as Aaron winced from pain. You were quick to his side, trying to help. But it was clear Aaron didn’t want it. You’d be lying if you said his refusal hurt your heart.
“It’s rotten work,” Aaron said once he was finally in a comfortable position. You looked down at him, feeling your face fall slightly from a sudden sadness.
“Not to me… Not if it’s you,” You whispered softly before taking Aaron’s hand into yours. Aaron looked up at you, a certain pain in his eyes. You didn’t question it as you looked at him. “Please, Aaron… Let me help you… The team doesn’t need me right now. But you do,” You kept your voice low as you worried it’d crack.
Aaron looked back up at you, watching as tears fell from your eyes.
“I won’t be easy on you,” Aaron looked at you as he spoke. You smiled softly before nodding.
“That’s okay. I’ll help you. That’s why I’m here,” You nodded before you brought his hand to your lips. Your lips rested right on the back of Aaron’s hand as you stared at him. “Think of it as payback for all those times you’ve helped me. It’s only fair.”
{***}{***}{***}
Of course, you went into this thinking it’d be easy. You thought that Aaron would help you help him. The first day was easy. But the following days were rougher. You weren’t expecting Aaron to argue with you. It was a fight to try and convince him he needed help.
Like today, Aaron had to go to the bathroom. And when you went to help him, he fought. You loved him, that was why you were helping him. But he was beginning to test your limits.
“Please stop fighting me on this, Aaron. I know you know what’s best for you, and you know yourself better than I know you… But you have to take your medicine and get rest,” your voice wavered as you looked down at the man. Aaron looked up at you, a scowl on his face and a stone-cold glare in his eyes.
“I don’t need or want your help,” Aaron hissed as he pulled his arm from you. You stared at him, watching him wince as he adjusted the blanket over his legs.
“If that was the case then you would’ve pissed the bed,” you scoffed as you stared at him as you folded your arms across your chest. Aaron looked up at you, the hardness on his face softening a little bit. “I’ll be in the living room if you need me. But you made it very clear that you don’t.” You returned the glare before leaving his bedroom.
You quietly left the room, resigning to the living room where you had bedding set up on the couch. All of the belongings you had brought over were strewn across the coffee table. Various case files sat open, highlighters and pens sitting on them. They were files you were helping Aaron with so he wouldn’t fall behind workwise.
With a deep sigh, you sat on the couch, pulling a blanket around your body before you picked up a file. You worked in silence, but you were on high alert waiting for a call of help. But Aaron was stubborn, you knew there’d be no call.
You wished you could just help Aaron without the fight. It was exhausting for both you and Aaron. The days the team had off, a few of them would visit and help out with what they could. But Aaron still refused anyone’s help. You could tell that it was even frustrating for the team. And they could tell it was frustrating for you when you faked a smile as you exited Aaron’s room. You had nothing better to do than refuse their help when they offered.
You couldn’t help but let out deep, frustrated sighs as you continued to read over files. Some things didn’t make much sense, so when you needed help in that area, you would give a call to Emily or Penelope for the help. Thankfully they were able to quickly lend a hand.
Time was quick as it ticked by. You weren’t even sure what time you had started, but you knew it was late. Sleep would never find its way to you though. No you were too busy staying away, waiting for Aaron’s calls of help.
“You’re still working?” Aaron asked from behind you. That was when you finally looked up at the clock and saw that it was 3:30 in the morning. It was probably a good thing that Aaron came out at the time he did. You needed a long break, and some sleep.
You looked away from the file and over at Aaron. He stood a few feet away from the couch, his robe hanging off his frame as he stood. That reminded you that you really needed to change out of your day clothes and into your pajamas.
“Well when you’re the one who constantly works and you’re out sick… I’m the next best person since I know everything you do. So I figured…” You shrugged looking back down at the file on your lap and highlighter in hand. “And you wouldn’t let me help you.”
“That’s how you’re helping?” Aaron asked as he stepped around the couch to sit beside you. You looked up at him, watching him press a hand over his injuries.
“How else am I supposed to help?” you scoffed, looking over at Aaron again, “I mean, you know what’s best for you, Aaron. I’m just trying to help and follow what the doctors told you to do. You’re just too…” You let your words trail off, not finishing your thought. It wasn’t mean, you thought. But you didn’t want to take that chance.
“I…” Aaron started but failed when you cut him off.
“You almost died… Twice… All I want to do is help you. That’s all anyone wants to do, is help you.” Your voice broke off at the end. You had given up the fight. There was nothing left in you to keep going. So, you looked away from Aaron and tried to ignore the tears rolling down your cheeks.
Aaron silently reached out to hold your hand. You looked at him, your eyes wide as you stared.
“I’ve just never had help with…” Aaron’s words trailed off. You blinked slowly as you turned to face him more. You watched as he struggled to stand, and you could tell that he was trying to hide the real pain he was actually in.
“Come on.” He gently pulled your hand as he stood. You looked at him, your eyes wide and dewy. “The way you can help me is to lie in bed with me. You can keep working, or you can just lie beside me. That’s how you can help.”
“Aaron...”
“I don’t care what you have to say. You’re coming with me.” Aaron looked down at you with a furrowed brow. There was a certain softness to his features.
“Fine,” You whispered as you begrudgingly stood to your feet. Aaron looked over at you before taking the lead back into the bedroom. You were both quiet as you slipped into the bed.
“Will you rest now?” You looked over at him as he laid beside you. You were too focused on being annoyed and wanting to help him that you didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep. You didn’t know when, but he had also had an arm thrown over your body. Usually the roles were reversed. And you realized just how much you actually loved Aaron, even though he’s stubborn and hard-headed.
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acciocrzychickfics · 3 years
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2020 Remadora Fanfic Recommendations
So these are not all of my favorites because there are so many, many to choose from but these are. Also I rarely read fluff, so I struggled with that list, sorry. I have put an * next to any story that is fabulous read by has been abandoned.  
MutliChapter Rec
1. If Only by LoquaciousLupin
Tonks meets a mysterious, charming and handsome man at a muggle bar, imagine her surprise when the next time she bumps into him is at her first Order meeting! Will they continue their flirtatious relationship or push aside their feelings in the name of the Order?
Rating: K  Status: Complete
2. The Bureaucratic Error by Iniga
After his death, Remus finds himself 5 years in the past, having undone Voldemort's defeat and Teddy's birth. He's going to need his old friend Sirius to help him with this one.
Rating: T   Status : Incomplete* 
3. Chasing Grindylows by Firetoflame
She pens the note on official Ministry letterhead. Remus Lupin, it reads. You are hereby summoned to attend an Auror interview regarding case file number 713, suspect to be named, Sirius Black. You are required to attend promptly at nine o'clock on the morning of Tuesday the twenty-first. Sincerely, Nymphadora Tonks, Auror Department
Rating: M Status: Complete 
4. Lycanthropy, Love and Other Curses by Thora Jane
This is the story of Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks from beginning...to end.
Rating: T    Status: In-Progress (last updated on 12/13/20)
5. A Marriage of Convivence? by BDA 
The Ministry of Magic is preparing to pass new and extremely restrictive laws against magical beings. The Order must scramble to protect Remus, who will be greatly affected by the restrictions on werewolves. Thankfully Dumbledore has a solution. It is decided that Remus will marry Tonks - a pretend relationship to take advantage of a loophole in the laws. Will it work? How will the pair find being married to each other? 
Rating: E       Status: Complete
6. A Crinkle of Fate by AFaith1192 
What if you were given a second chance? An opportunity to change everything... At the last minute before dying, Nymphadora Tonks makes a desperate wish; a wish to save more than one life. But changing the future has a price, and she will have to learn how to pay it. 
Rating: T Status: In-Progress (last updated on 11/15/20)
7. Flying Colours Series by TauraNorma 
The ‘Flying Colours’ trilogy follows Lupin and Tonks’ romance across the canon timeline, from the beginning of the Order of the Phoenix until the end of the Deathly Hallows. 
Rating: E      Status: In-Progress 
8.  Snapshots by brainyisalwayssexy
Mini scenes and moments that could’ve, should’ve been in the films, but weren’t. Movie-canon semi-compliant. Not meant to make sense from chapter to chapter, and not in chronological order.
Rating: M Status: In-Progress (last updated on 12/21/20)
9.Muggle AU Series by AyashiTetsuko132
A school teacher with a rebellious past. A punk musician with a dynamic present. They have an interesting future together.
Rating: T Status: Complete 
10. Protection Detail by LoquaciousLupin
As she can't actively be involved with the search for Black, Tonks is sent to co-ordinate the protection of Hogwarts and Harry Potter whilst Sirius is on the loose. Whilst there, she befriends a charming but secretive new professor. Set during Prisoner of Azkaban. AU in later chapters. Rated for language! Remus/Tonks centred fic.
Rating: T Status: Incomplete (last updated 06/27/20)
11. Worth the Risk by HeadintheCloudsForever
AU. Odyssey-length long fic. Tonks/Remus. Following an Order mission gone horribly wrong that results in Tonks becoming gravely wounded, she meets Remus Lupin when he and Moody rescue her, and Dumbledore assigns Lupin as her new partner for the year, and during the painful time of healing as the young witch recovers from her injuries, she slowly begins to warm up to the man and falls in love with him. Remadora.
Rating: T        Status: Complete 
Angst/Hurt/Comfort
1. I Can't Tell Her by accio_spaceman
He couldn't tell her- it would ruin everything. But can he stop himself? Originally written about Remadora but written in such a way that you could make it about pretty much anyone. 
Rating: K    Status: Complete 
2. In Denial by secretfanficlover
Remus and Tonks try their best to prevent Tonks from becoming pregnant, a war wasn't the time or place for a child, but Teddy was going to become part of the family whether they liked it or not.
Rating: K  Status: Complete 
3. The First Goodbye by couldbemoresonic
“I’m leaving. Albus,” he nodded to the Hogwarts Headmaster, who nodded in return, “has asked me to go into the Underground to help with recruiting.” A few people gasped, Molly audibly said, “Remus no, that’s far too dangerous!” Remus didn’t look at Molly Weasley though. He found himself instead, looking directly into the pale grey eyes of Nymphadora Tonks.
Remus leaves to be a Werewolf spy for the Order, but stops in to say goodbye first.
Rating: G  Status: Complete 
4. Clearing the Desk by HecateA
Harry inherited a certain someone's desk in the Auror Office and finds out just how many slices of someone's life can be contained in a couple of drawers. Oneshot. 
Rating:   K  Status: Complete 
5. For the Sake of the Daughter by Gilpin 
Tonks brings Remus home to see her parents and it's a meeting of mixed emotions for all. Set just after the end of HBP 
Rating:  T  Status: Complete 
Fluffy, Fluff
1. The Order’s Most Eligible Bachelors by cafei-au-lei
The Order's Most Eligible Bachelors, or: the ladies indulge in some firewhiskey and gossip. Sirius and Remus stumble upon a game they're not sure they want to be privy to (okay, maybe Sirius does.) The results lead to some necessary conversation and introspection for a few of the parties involved. Oneshot. 
Rating: T  Status: Complete
2. Lucky Stars by Sirussly 
Series of oneshots (most are fluffly haha)
Rating: G     Status: Incomplete*
3. Chapter by Chapter by HecateA 
Due to a mix-up in the school library, McGonagall's new TA gets the book that Remus needs, which leads to some slow and painful torture. Oneshot. University/College AU.
Rating: K Status: Complete
4. Strange Magic by ItsSoRonksItsRight
Molly comes across a pair of bright purple female short-style lace briefs, what will Remus do? Ronks. Rated T to be safe. One-shot. Disclaimer: I do not own anything relatable to Harry Potter, I'm just borrowing. 
Rating: T Status: Complete
5. The Love Life of Nymphadora Tonks by miniandminie
After Tonks slips to Sirius that she likes someone, the entire Order of the Phoenix is on her case to find out who that ‘someone’ is, including the ‘someone’ himself: Remus Lupin. RLNT, Remadora.
Rating: K Status: Complete 
Family (Remus/Tonks/Teddy)
1. The Talk, Or The (Lighthearted) Trauma of Teddy R. Lupin by cafei-au-lei
Teddy knew when Dad brought out the firewhiskey that something was suspicious. Then again, maybe he wasn't giving Dad enough credit for being the cool parent. AU. Remus and Tonks survive to raise their son and give him The Dreaded Talk. Oneshot.
Rating: T    Status: Complete
2. Grocery Shopping with the Lupins by Deletinvthissoon
What happens when Teddy Lupin gets lost in the grocery store?
Rating: K   Status: Complete
3. In Case I Don’t Live Forever by ThatHCWriter
While cleaning out her attic years after the war, Andromeda discovers a strange muggle media device. She turns it on, and when it begins, Andromeda's world stops.
"Is this thing on? Teddy! It's your dad."
Or, how an accidental discovery allows Teddy Lupin to hear a message from beyond the grave.
Rating: T   Status: Complete 
4. Remus, Teddy! by LadyLoss15
Remadora oneshot Tonks spends an amazing day with Remus just to realize at the end of the day that, to her horror, they have forgotten about bringing Teddy home from the kindergarten. Or have they really?
Rating: NR Status: Complete 
5. The Miracle of Accidental Magic by Mills87
Teddy has a bout of accidental magic when he and his Grandma are attacked by a remnant group of Voldemort supporters on his third birthday. His magic transports him and Andromeda back in time to three years before he was born. With no way back to their time will Andromeda find a way to safely alter time to save her loved ones, what consequences may lie ahead?
Rating: T   Status: Incomplete*
Smut/PWP
1. Awake at Night by Skelpielimmer
Tonks muses on her newfound obsession with Remus Lupin's hands. OotP. Rated M for adult content!
Rating: M   Status: Complete
2. The Perils of Patrol by Worthfull1
Things get a little heated when patrolling undercover. Rated M for swearing and smut. One-shot.
Rating: E    Status: Complete 
3. Under the Invisibility Cloak by AWideEyedPhoenix84
Lupin and Tonks find themselves in a precarious situation on a mission for the Order, and months of pent-up passion come out right before the full moon.
Rating: E    Status: Complete
4. Under the Desk by immahorny
Tonks pays Lupin a visit at Hogwarts. What will happen. AU - Remus is still a teacher when they have an established relationship Book 6 . ***CAUTION: HEAVY SMUT. RATED M FOR A REASON. DON'T LIKE DON'T READ***
Rating: M    Status: Complete 
5. Phantom Touch by Fleshisonlyflesh
Dora is unable to sleep, and her fantasies of a certain werewolf cause her to find a way to relax...
Rating: E     Status: Complete 
General/Romance
1. First Meeting and She’s a Piece of Work by firetoflame
He doesn't even know her, not really, and somehow she's ended up with his wand. He thinks maybe next time he'll listen when Sirius tells him his cousin is a real piece of work.
Rating: G   Status: Complete 
2. Remus, Interrupted by Tonkswyrda 
Sirius likes to interrupt people when they're in the middle of things.
Rating: K  Status: Complete 
3. Things Sirius Black Cannot Unsee by HecateA
In which Sirius doesn't know how to knock, sees something he shouldn't have, and can't keep it to himself—especially not during a very serious Order meeting. Oneshot.
Rating: T Status: Complete 
4. Pluto by bikelock28
A series of Lupin/ Tonks one-shots. Canon universe. Ch84 now up. "Did you send him away, Professor? Or did he ask to go?".
Rating: T  Status: In-Progress (last updated on 12/18/20)
5. Girlish Giggle by failuretoland
Sirius could always tell when Remus had an enjoyable evening, and he had a bad habit of announcing it to anyone who would listen.
Rating: G   Status: Complete
6. The Dawn Patrol by aegle 
Mundungus Fletcher resents being dragged to Yorkshire by Remus and Tonks. He laments.
Rating: T   Status: Complete
7. On First Impressions by cafei-au-lei 
"'You know,' Sirius said, 'it's kind of funny. For someone who thinks Remus is so annoying, you sure can't seem to stop talking about him.'" A series of moments in Remus and Tonks' developing relationship as they get to know each other and learn that maybe first impressions aren't necessarily everything. OOTP. Oneshot. 
Rating: T  Status: Complete 
8. Tuesday by Moreofaguestage
“Sure, Okay let's go get married” Tonks replied brightly. “Where do people get married at 8pm on a Tuesday evening?”
Rating: G  Status: Complete
9. Find Us in a Week by myscribblinquill 
Tonks' new case is different to those she's had before. First off, there's no crime to solve, all she has to do it collect information on the mark and pass it along to her client. But the problem is there's nothing to pass along, he's so boring and yet, somehow, Tonks can't stop following him.
Rating: G   Status: Complete 
10. Dora by notoriously
Meetings with the Order are long and boring, and Don't-Call-Me-Nymphadora Tonks doesn't do long and boring. She takes some time out of her duties to carefully consider Remus Lupin, and he quite-significantly-less-carefully considers the name that leaves his mouth when addressing her.
Rating: G  Status: Complete 
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maria-scribbles · 4 years
Text
loyalty’s all i got | part one
summary: three years ago, you had it all: great friends, good grades, and an almost perfect relationship with your boyfriend, jj. it all came crashing down when your mom relocated your family to california for work and you were forced to trade the outer banks for malibu, leaving your broken heart behind in the place you were just starting to think of as home. now you're back in town for college and to pick up the pieces, hoping to make things right again with your friends and the boy you never stopped loving.
word count: 8.9k+ i'm legit incapable of writing something short 😅
ship: jj maybank x female!reader, pogue friendship
warnings: mentions of child abuse, non-graphic injuries, weed, swearing, underage drinking, learning to be vulnerable, trust issues, first love, jj getting the love and affection he deserves, underage sex (nothing too descriptive but it gets a lil spicy, just fyi), teenage heartbreak, failed long distance relationship, angst with a happy ending, references to some taylor swift songs 'cause she's a queen.
a/n: got a lil plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone so here we are lol. title and inspiration for this fic comes from train's song "rescue dog" that gave me 'jj x reader where they're both damaged goods' vibes the second i heard it. this is semi canon-compliant as the treasure hunt never happened but big john is still alive and kie and sarah still work out their issues and become friends again. i used the names daisy, daniel, deke, and mack as a tribute to agents of shield, one of my favorite shows that had just had its series finale (and i'm still an emotional mess). enjoy and keep an eye out for part two, coming soon!
~masterlist~
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part one: when our love was young and easy
For you, having a traveling nurse as a mom was both a blessing and a curse. When you were a kid, you loved bouncing around the country to a new town every so often and finding new places to explore with your rebellious big sister. Back then, she was all you needed to be happy: you'd go anywhere and everywhere as long as Daisy, your best friend, was by your side. 
As you both grew older and started school, you slowly realized that packing up your life every few years sucked. Yeah, seeing new places was cool and all but the novelty wore off fast when you found yourself making friends with your classmates, kids who weren't your sister for once, only to lose touch whenever you moved again. You felt like a ghost, haunting a new school for a while and then leaving behind nothing but a memory, one that gradually faded over time until it was gone, as if you never existed at all. You wondered if anyone actually remembered you. 
It was hard. You gradually became more sullen and withdrawn, finding it more and more difficult to make friends when you knew they wouldn't last, while Daisy acted out even worse than usual and ended up being grounded almost every week. It took her getting arrested while graffitiing the school gym on New Year's Eve for your father - a bit clueless about being a stay-at-home dad to two girls but he tried his best- to put his foot down and tell his wife enough was enough. 
"Our kids need stability, Rebekah. They need a chance to make real friends and stay in one place for longer than two or three years. They need a home."
Thankfully by some miracle, your mother agreed and promised the next move would be the last until you graduated high school. You wanted to believe her so badly but you weren't sure if you could as you packed up your life once again and headed down south from Rhode Island.
That's how you ended up in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, finishing eighth grade at some fancy ass academy that you weren't sure your parents could afford. Daisy, a sophomore, seemed to have no problem fitting in on the north side of the island when she landed a job as a lifeguard at the country club and made fast friends with the rich kids that frequented the pool. It stung a bit when she eventually started ditching you for them (and some older boy named Kelce; you knew she'd snag a boyfriend eventually but you didn't realize it'd be so fast and with someone so...douchey) but you tried not to let it bother you too much, as you were okay getting by on your own and honest-to-God happy for your sister. Making friends was a scary thought when you remembered all the kids you've had to leave behind over the years, all the friendships that crumbled into dust in the wind so you tried to stay at arm's length from your classmates and told yourself you were just fine the way you were. 
The loneliness was hard to ignore though, and you soon found yourself slowly, reluctantly becoming friends with a girl named Kiara that sat beside you in algebra after she helped you cram for a test you completely forgot about, even as warning bells rang loud in your mind. It wasn't long before you started sitting with her and her friend Sarah at lunch, which led to being invited to the beach and the movies and sleepovers and just like that, you remembered what friendship felt like. For the first time, you felt like a normal teenager with a best friend that wasn't your sister and although you liked Sarah, Kiara was the one you were closest to, especially when you found out she hated the kook academy as much as you did.
"Fuck it," She said at one of your sleepovers, sitting on the floor at the end of your bed and rifling through your box of movies. "I'm done with acting like something I'm not, I'm done with being fake, and I'm done with rich kid politics." She tossed Legally Blonde in your direction and then joined you in leaning against the headboard as you slipped the DVD into your laptop.
"Yeah, this whole kook thing kind of sucks." You replied, tapping through the previews to the main menu. "That's why I don't give a shit."
"And that's why I'm so happy you're my friend, Y/N," Kiara said. "You're just yourself and don't try to change for anybody. It's cool."
Cursor hovering over the play button, you paused and glanced over at the other girl. "I'm happy you're my friend, too. I...I only really had my sister growing up so just...thanks, I guess. For being here."
Kiara pulled you into a fierce hug after your impromptu confession and you hugged her back, understanding for the first time what true friendship looked like. 
More kids get added to your posse -three boys named John B, JJ, and Pope- after a catastrophic falling out with Sarah over her fiasco of a birthday party and from the very first time you met them, you realized the south side of the island was where you belonged. The pogues were unabashedly, unapologetically real and you felt the freest you'd ever been when you were hanging out with them and from the way Kiara seemed so much happier, you knew she felt the same way. Those kooks and their status quo could suck it.
You vowed you wouldn't let yourself get too attached to your new friends (cohorts, as your dad jokingly called them), lest you get your heart broken when your mom inevitably moved on to the next job in a year or two; despite her promise, you just had a feeling that it wouldn't last and wished you weren't always waiting for that other shoe to drop. You didn't plan on them becoming your second family and you definitely didn't plan on falling in love for the first time, but life always found new ways to surprise you. 
You were fourteen when you started to notice that one of your friends was cute as fuck. To be honest, you thought all of your friends were pretty cute but there was something about JJ that made you flustered beyond belief every time he crossed your mind. You found yourself more than a little fixated on his golden hair, his bright blue eyes, and the way you always felt at your happiest when he was around; he lived like a wild, out of control hurricane and you wanted to get swept up in the eye of his storm, despite your brain telling you not to.
You never had crushes before, always too busy anticipating worrying about your family's next move to really look at anyone like that but you were definitely looking now while you tried to balance on JJ's surfboard in the gently bobbing waves, your trembling hands planted firmly on his -bare, tan, strong- shoulders as he held it steady.
"Lookin' good, Y/N," He looked up at you with a proud grin before glancing back down at your stance. "Just bend your knees a little more and you'll be perfect."
His praise, along with his calloused palms carefully adjusting your legs made your face feel hot and you shifted on the board to correct your balance, slowly raising your arms until you were standing, albeit a little wobbly, mostly on your own. 
"Holy shit!" You yelled, the smile on your face growing more ecstatic at the encouraging cheers of your friends as they watched from the beach twenty feet away. "I'm doing it! I'm actually doing it!"
"Almost," JJ gave you another one of his killer smiles, the ones that you quickly found out made breathing normally quite the challenge, then let go of your knees to give the board a solid push forward. "Now you are!"
Frantically, you recalled everything he taught you that afternoon and managed to make it halfway to shore before you lost your balance and fell into the surf with a giddy laugh. "Guess I need a little more practice," You giggled as he splashed his way over and offered you a hand, a teasing glint in his blue eyes. 
"Just a little?"
You flicked some water at him for that and your laugh grew when he wrapped you up in his arms and spun you around before flinging you both into the waves. The others immediately ran to join you and an all out war broke out, everyone splashing each other with no holds barred.  
When he casually suggested giving you another lesson the next day as you all laid on the sand to catch your breath, you were unable to say no and the soft, dimpled smile on his face made your heart skip a beat in a way you'd never felt before. For the first time, you told the warning bells in your head to just shut the fuck up and allowed yourself to think about the future, to dream about what you could become and where you could be in two, five, even ten years. You let yourself have hope.
The next morning, you put on your favorite bikini -the green high waisted one that made your butt look good- and caught a ride with Daisy and Kelce to the beach, ignoring the teasing looks and jabs your sister sent your way and the sly smirk on her boyfriend's face. 
"Hey, Juliet, looks like your Romeo's already waiting for you." 
You rolled your eyes and hopped out of Kelce's Range Rover, flipping them both the bird behind your back without a second glance. As they drove away, their laughter followed you to where JJ was indeed waiting by the walkway to the shore, surfboard under his arm, and his face broke out into a wide grin when he laid eyes on you, one that you couldn't help returning.
"Sorry I'm late, my sister was being a bitch."
He laughed at that and reached out to take your hand, sending warm tingles through your whole body. "I was kinda worried you forgot about me, Y/N."
In a sudden burst of courage you didn't know you had, you laced your fingers with his and started pulling him toward the water as you sent him a wink over your shoulder. "I would never."
You started your lesson on the sand, reviewing how to stand up and balance on the board, before moving to the ocean. You catch your first waves on your stomach to get used to the movement and when you get comfortable with that you move to your knees and then your feet; each time JJ was there to catch you when you inevitably bit it, hugging you close to his bare chest and speaking enthusiastic words of encouragement in your ear, and with every passing try you became more and more confident until you finally nailed a small wave from beginning to end without falling on your ass. 
"I did it!" In a flash, you jumped off the board and into his arms, your mouth curving into a joyful grin when he spun you in circles like yesterday with your own arms locked tight around his neck.
"Hell yeah you did!" The proud smile on his face made your stomach do a little flip and so did the way he held you close, his hands hooked under your thighs. "You're gonna be a pro in no time."
"Well," You said, twirling your fingers in the fine blond hair at his nape and hoping you didn't just imagine the shiver that ran down his spine. "I do have a great teacher."
His pretty blue eyes locked onto yours and you couldn't look away even if you wanted to (which you absolutely didn't). You'd been reading about moments like that ever since you were a kid, alone in your room with nothing better to do than drown yourself in overly sappy fanfiction until 2 AM, so you knew all about the magnetism, the butterflies, the invisible string tying two lovers together by fate, but it was just a fantasy, a pipe dream, something to yearn for when the loneliness became too much. Never in a million years did you imagine you would ever feel like that.
And yet you did. You felt it in your whole body, coursing through your veins like liquid fire, and when JJ started to lean in, you didn't hesitate to meet him halfway. It wasn't your first kiss -that happened two years ago when you were still living in Rhode Island, during a rare party you actually got invited to and with a pretty girl in your class- but it was the first that set every single one of your nerves alight. He held you tighter against him as your hands moved to cup his face, letting him deepen the kiss with a tilt of his head and the soft swipe of his tongue against your lips. You never thought you'd find yourself in the middle of a make out session in broad daylight and in full view of everyone on the beach but there you were, not giving a single shit about who was watching. All you cared about was memorizing every detail about the way he kissed you, the feel of his mouth on yours and the heat of his palms against your thighs, the rough touch of drying saltwater on his skin under your thumbs and that little noise he made low in his throat when you wrapped your legs tighter around his waist. You could've kissed him for hours (holy shit did you want to do that) and never run out of new idiosyncrasies to notice.
You pulled back some glorious time later with a breathless smile and swollen lips, heart racing against your ribcage and forehead pressed to JJ's as he smiled back, an endearing pink flushed across his face. 
"I've wanted to do that for a while." His quiet admission made the butterflies in your stomach go haywire and you leaned down to kiss him once again, no longer able to deny yourself the happiness you longed for for years now that you'd had a taste; he returned the kiss and you laughed against his mouth as he spun you around before gently setting you on your feet in the surf, his forgotten board -thankfully still tethered to your ankle- bumping into your legs with every wave.
"Me, too." 
"Good." He shot you a smile that make you weak in the knees and tucked a wayward strand of hair behind your ear, then it was his turn to lean down to press his lips to yours.
After that day, life was practically a dream. You had the greatest friends you could've asked for, your family was the happiest you'd ever seen them, and you had a boyfriend. A loyal, affectionate, chaotic boyfriend who somehow managed to keep you on your toes while being your guiding light all at once and you wondered how you got so lucky that a boy as wonderful as JJ wanted little old you, with all of your insecurities and shattered edges and tendencies to push people away when they got too close.
You told him that one day as you laid together on your bed, sharing lazy kisses in the warm late-summer sun streaming in through your window while Fleetwood Mac played quietly from your phone resting on the nightstand. Fall was in the air and with it came cool breezes and that nagging fear in the back of your mind that screamed none of it would last. It was the first time you cried in front of him -in front of anyone other than your sister- and he held you tight to his chest, hand running soothingly over your back as you let everything out in one massive, embarrassing flood of years of pent-up emotions. 
Another thing your boyfriend was good at, you found out, was comfort. He didn't say anything as he hugged you close but he didn't need to, the fact that he was simply there and listening was all you needed from him. You spent your whole life living in the shadows until then, when he made you feel seen, heard, and important, validated, all without saying a single word and after your tears had run dry and you pulled your face away from his damp shirt, you killed that urge to flee and buried it so deep you hoped you'd never find it again. 
That day, you poured out your heart for the first time to a person you knew in your very bones you could trust and received nothing but unconditional acceptance in return. JJ took you as you were, flaws and metaphorical scars, dark secrets and past mistakes, and you weren't quite fifteen yet but you wondered if that spark you felt in your blood when he kissed you was love.
It was less than a week later when he showed up at your door late at night, bruised and bloody, and the thrill of a clandestine meeting in your room faded the second you saw the small, pained smile he sent your way. Daisy, swapping roles with you for once, distracted your parents so you could sneak him upstairs like she did with Kelce practically every week and only when you were both safely hidden away in your room did you speak, keeping your voice as soft as your touch against his bruised cheek. "What happened?"
You cried in front of him for the second time when he finally answered, after you cleaned him up with the first aid kit your mom always kept under your bathroom sink and helped him change into some of your dad's old clothes your sister swiped from the laundry room ("if you need anything, just text me, 'k?" she said and you sent her a grateful smile before she left, quietly shutting the door behind her.). JJ was your echo as he spilled all his secrets, too, bringing his demons out of the deep blue darkness and into your golden daylight where they slowly burned to ash, little by little. You held him close, your legs tangled together and his head pillowed on your chest, and you ran your fingers through his hair over and over until he talked himself hoarse and his hands loosened their white-knuckled grip on your sweatshirt. 
Words had never been your strong suit so you let your actions speak for you and gently wiped the tears from his cheeks with your thumbs, leaning down to press your lips to his forehead, then his closed eyelids, his nose, all over his face until there was no inch you hadn't kissed other than his mouth; you saved that for last, letting each delicate touch linger against his slightly chapped lips like bright beacons of light guiding him through a storm in hopes that he'll make it to shore.
"You'll always be safe with me." 
You whispered it into his hair sometime later, through swollen lips that hurt in the best possible way and you felt his slow smile into the curve of your neck, his reply coming in the form of a soft and feather-light kiss against your heated skin. You fell asleep that night with your boyfriend wrapped up in your arms, safe and warm and far away from the father who hurt him in more ways than one. 
Your parents, on the other hand, loved JJ so much to the point you thought they'd adopt him if they could, especially your dad. They were constantly inviting him over for dinner, fishing trips, movie nights: you name it, your parents wanted him there, and you were pretty sure he was spending even more time at your place than at John B's. He won the 'favorite boyfriend' category by default because Kelce barely made the 'tolerated' list, much to your and Daisy's amusement. 
Despite that fact though, you still snuck JJ out your window that morning to meet him at the front door just as your mother was leaving for her shift at the hospital. Rebekah greeted him with her customary hug before touching his bruised cheek with a gentle hand and concern in her eyes.  
"What happened, hon?" 
He shrugged, expertly bullshitting some excuse about defending your honor when one of Kelce's friends started going off about how good your ass looked and it instantly appeased your dad, who reached over to clap your boyfriend on the shoulder.
"Good job, kid." Bill said with a pleased grin, then kissed his wife goodbye and headed back down the hall toward the living room. "Hear that, Daisy? Your boy needs to get better friends!"
"Dad!"
"Even better, just get a better boy in general!"
As your father and sister squabbled, your mother pulled you both into another fierce hug and whispered "You always have a place here," before she headed out the door; JJ looked a bit stunned at Rebekah's words and you reached over to give his hand a gentle squeeze, smiling softly when he slowly did it back.
Your parents weren't stupid. They knew your boyfriend didn't come from the best of homes but they loved him anyway, showering him in ordinary, everyday affection they knew he rarely got. You noticed it more and more as the months passed: your dad always asking him for help fixing Daisy's clunker of a car when it broke down and both would come inside with grease-stained hands and easy smiles, your mom keeping all the first aid kits fully stocked and hugging him a little tighter when he looked a little worse for wear, both of them making sure he was fed and safe and cared for like he deserved. Even Daisy had a penchant for leaving snacks on your bed like some sort of food fairy and offering to give rides to the beach or the Chateau, especially after she finally dumped Kelce and had, as she said, 'nothing better to do.'
And you? You fell harder each passing day, each moment you spent with him, each kiss that made your veins hum with white hot lightning. Of course, your friends teased you mercilessly but neither of you really minded, knowing that each joke was born pure joy at seeing you both together and happy (though you never missed an opportunity to be extra affectionate in front of everyone as revenge.). JJ continued to teach you how to surf until you could hold your own with the rest of the pogues and when you turned fifteen in late spring, they gave you the surprise of your life in the form of your very own board.
You stared in shock at the sea foam green board propped in the sand beside your friends,' gaping like a fish out of water as they all screamed "happy birthday, Y/N!" at the top of their lungs.
"You...you guys -are you for real?" You reached out to run your fingers over the smooth epoxy surface, the mounting pressure behind your eyes becoming harder and harder to ignore when you caught sight of your friends' identical bright grins. What did you do to deserve them?
"We figured it was time you had your own board instead of that shitty hand me down," John B said, ruffling your hair with brotherly affection that made your heart feel full. Pope nodded enthusiastically and added, "You're gonna improve so much with this -not that you weren't already, I mean!"
"She's already good 'cause she has me for a teacher," JJ said with an overexaggerated wink as he pulled you closer and planted a kiss on your cheek. "Taught her everything she knows."
"Oh, please, you just wanted to mack-"
"Taught her how to make out-"
"What they all mean to say, Y/N," Kiara interrupted, sending the boys a pointed look, then gave your shoulder a quick squeeze, "is that we love you. That word won't kill you guys to say, you know."
"I-I love you guys, too. All of you." You admitted thickly, hastily wiping away the tears you just realized were slipping down your face. It didn't scare you to say it. You didn't feel the urge to run or pretend you didn't care for them as much as they cared for you 'cause you loved your friends like you loved your sister, your parents, and the thought filled you with joy instead of terror. "I don't know how to thank you."
You suddenly found yourself in the middle of a colossal group hug, laughing and crying at the same time as four pairs of arms all tried to wrap around you at once.  "How about you start by getting out there and showing us what you're made of?" John B said with a nod toward the ocean and you wiggled your way out of the tangle of limbs, darting forward to pull your new board from the sand.  
"Come on, slowpokes," You called over your shoulder as you jogged toward the water, "You aren't gonna let the newbie have all the fun, right?"
The water was a bit too chilly for surfing but the five of you dove in anyway and you grinned so hard you were sure your face would split in two when you nailed your first wave to the rest of the pogues' cheers. You all surfed until the cold was too much to bear before packing up and heading back to your house, where you spent the rest of your birthday surrounded by all of the people you'd ever loved, making s'mores around the campfire in your backyard. 
"I meant what I said earlier." You blurted when JJ was the only one around to hear it, the others already headed inside for the night. The two of you laid together on a blanket beside the dying fire as you stared up at the stars and when you spoke, he tore his gaze from the sky to focus on you, one eyebrow raised in the cutest confused expression you'd ever seen.
"Meant what?"
Maybe it was the look in those pretty blue eyes of his or the feel of his fingers running through your hair or your brain remembering every single moment you'd ever shared with him all at once but something screamed at you to say those words, the ones you'd been thinking about saying to his face for a long time. Though you'd already said them earlier, this time was different -so, so different- and you took a deep breath, fighting away the nerves that made your hand tremble as you cupped his face and ran your thumb over his cheekbone.
"I love you."
The funny thing about words: once they're out in the air, there's no taking them back. These words, though? You never wanted to take them back. Ever. 
"I love you, too."
It wasn't like the movies. Fireworks didn't go off, the world didn't stop spinning on its axis, nothing magically clicked into place, but you did feel the most wonderful warmth you could ever imagine slowly sinking into your bones when he said it back, the soft smile on his flushed face snatching the very breath from your lungs. He loved you. You loved him. It was simple, uncomplicated, effortless and you smiled into his kiss with the moon and stars as your witnesses. 
Summer came again, setting you and Kiara free from the hell known as the kook academy and its rich kid hierarchy and the two of you ran wild -from sunrise to sunset- with your boys at your sides, like birds escaping their cages or horses let loose in the grasslands, untamed and thirsty for adventure. It had only just begun and yet you already knew it was the best summer of your life. 
Your dad, a man able to make friends with a rock, struck up a camaraderie with Sarah's father of all people during a deep sea fishing trip and snagged five invitations to some fancy party called Midsummers. 
Kiara nearly had a coronary when you shared the news, her face lighting up like a kid on Christmas morning. "Oh, thank God!" She breathed, sitting up on her towel and pushing her sunglasses up onto her forehead. "Maybe I'll actually have a good time for once."
The two of you were relaxing on the beach, taking a break while the boys surfed and you turned away from admiring your boyfriend's bare back to look her in the eye. "So what you're saying is-"
"-it fucking sucks. Just..." She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "a bunch of bourgeoise pigs throwing a party to stroke their overinflated egos."
You groaned and flopped back onto your towel, throwing your arm over your eyes. "Great, a night of rich people being rich people."
Kiara laughed and reached over to grab a bottle of water from the cooler. "You have no idea."
Despite her misgivings, the party wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. Sure, the general stench of opulence and wasted money -so much wasted money- was overbearing and quite frankly disgusting but you did your best to ignore it, focusing instead on having a great time with two of your best friends, making fun of the kooks and sneaking liquor when the adults weren't looking. One of those friends happened to be your boyfriend and you found it very, very hard to keep your eyes off him in that suit of his, with his hair slicked back in just the right way that made your knees weak; JJ couldn't stop staring at you either and you'd lost count of how many times you glanced over to find him already looking at you, something you'd never seen before behind his gaze. You wanted -needed- to find out what it was and you were hoping you would tonight, even if you didn't exactly know how. 
"Why don't you two take a picture? It'll last longer." Kiara said sarcastically and you flicked your eyes down to your lap, smoothing a non-existent wrinkle in your deep green dress to hide your embarrassment. What was it about that damn suit that made you feel so flustered?
"You know me, Kie," JJ replied, grabbing your hand and tugging you toward the dance floor. "I like to live in the moment." He grinned down at you and you couldn't help smiling back, giggling as he twirled you under his arm before pulling you close, resting his other hand low on your back.
"I didn't know you were such a good dancer," You said, letting him lead you in a simple waltz across the cool grass. 
"Well, I'm not but I might've spent the last week practicing with your sister while Kie distracted you." He admitted casually, shooting a thumbs up over your shoulder and you turned to find Daisy grinning in your direction as she swayed with some guy (Daniel, you thought, or maybe Deke? You weren't sure.) you'd seen hanging around the pool a few times. 'You're welcome,' She mouthed before spinning under her partner's arm, her wine-colored dress fanning out around her legs and you smiled wider, twirling back into your boyfriend's embrace and surging up onto your tiptoes to press your lips to his.
He dipped you low as he returned your kiss, grinning against your mouth when you flung your arms around his neck in surprise, your fingers holding tight to the collar of his suit jacket. "You did all that for me?" You asked once your feet were firmly back on the ground and your heart skipped a beat as his hands brushed the skin exposed by the low-cut back of your dress. 
"Anything for you, Y/N." 
Later, after dancing until your shoes started to dig uncomfortably into your toes, the two of you snuck down to the beach, your heels in your hands and two stolen drinks in JJ's. You felt a bit guilty ditching Kiara but from the wink she sent your way as you passed by, you were pretty sure she didn't really mind. The sand was cool on your legs through the thin layers of your skirt and yet you felt nothing but warm, both from his arm around your shoulders and the alcohol burning down your throat.
"Shit," You coughed, regretting following your boyfriend's example by knocking the whole thing back at once and playfully jabbing your elbow in his side when he outright laughed at your struggle. "I'm not used to drinking straight...whatever this is." 
"It's bourbon, babe." He took the glass from your hand and set it aside before tucking you closer against him to ward off the slight chill of the mellow ocean breeze. "Don't worry, I still love you even if you can't take shots."
"Ha ha. Love you, too, you jerk." You rested your head on his shoulder after they stopped shaking with laughter, perfectly happy to sit in silence together and watch the waves crash against the shore. A pleasant tingle flooded through your body after the bourbon finally stopped burning and you realized you liked the feeling, even if it paled in comparison to the high you reached when he kissed you, when he ran his hand through your hair, when he made it crystal clear you were loved. 
"Hey, Y/N?"
JJ's voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you shifted your head to look up at him, hooking one of your ankles around his. "Yeah?"
"Gimme your hand."
You obliged, your confusion slowly melting away into something more closely resembling pure, unadulterated affection as he tied a bracelet around your wrist. And not just any bracelet, you noticed when you brought it closer to your face to examine it in the dim, distant light of the party: this one was obviously, beautifully handmade, woven with threads in shades of green, blue, and tan and tied off with two green beads on each end. You ran your thumb over a spot where the intricate motif was just a little messed up and smiled when JJ looked embarrassed, the tips of his ears turning red.
"Yeah, sorry about that, I was in a hurry and fucked up the pattern," He confessed sheepishly, spinning a similar bracelet around his own wrist. "I was gonna give it to you on your birthday but I kind of underestimated how long it took to make-"
"It's perfect." You interrupted, tackling him onto the sand with your arms around his neck as you pressed a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth, leaving a bright red lipstick mark behind. "I love it. I love you."
The smile he sent you was one of unabashed relief and he slid his fingers into your hair to pull you down for another kiss. "I love you, too."
For awhile after that, you let your lips do the talking in a different way and you made out on the beach for -surprisingly- only the second time until you rolled onto your back and accidentally got a little sand in your underwear (he laughed at that but you immediately got your revenge by stuffing a handful down the front of his shirt). You snuck back to the party hand in hand to drop off the forgotten glasses and wave a quick goodbye to Kiara, who just smirked at your smudged lipstick and the golden crown of leaves sitting crooked on your head, before walking toward your house a mile down the road. Well, JJ walked, you hitched a ride on his back when he wouldn't take no for an answer.
"Babe, your feet hurt and you have sand in your ass. No way in hell I'm letting you walk."
You just smiled against his shoulder and let him carry you the rest of the way to your house and then even up the stairs to your room as you fired off a text to Daisy letting her know where you disappeared to. She sent 'check your dresser, thank me later' with a winking emoji back and you felt your face get hot when you caught sight of the small box tucked into the corner of the drawer, quickly placing the phone facedown on your bedside table before tossing your shoes onto the floor by your closet and carefully pulling the crown from your messy hair.
"Thanks for the ride, my feet and ass are in your debt."
"Let's make out again and I'll consider that debt paid."
You laughed but gave in 'cause hell, you really wanted to keep making out, too. You pushed JJ backwards until his knees hit your bed and you ended up on his lap, your hands pushing the suit jacket off his shoulders as you leaned down to kiss him. He slid the pins from your hair one by one until it fell around your face and he tangled his fingers in it, pulling your head back so he could trail his lips down the sensitive skin of your neck and you gasped, pausing in the middle of trying to undo the bowtie around his neck.
Something shifted in the air then and you knew that once you took that next step, there'd be no turning back but you were ready to meet it head on as you finished with his tie and tossed it behind you, then started on the buttons of his shirt. That look from earlier was in his eyes again and you nodded, smiling in anticipation when you finally understood what it meant and he languidly slipped one of the straps of your dress off your shoulder. 
You bared your body like you bared your soul and soon there was no part of you that he didn't know. You learned every part of him, too and together you brought each other to a high you'd never felt before. It wasn't perfect, of course, but it was perfect to you: every awkward, beautiful touch, when you breathed his name like that for the first time, the way your hands clutched his hair like a lifeline. You were burning up from the inside out, every single nerve on fire and blazing brilliantly under your heated skin and you'd never felt more alive when you came undone in his arms.
In the afterglow, you laid wrapped up together like the woven bracelets you both wore, JJ's fingers steadily tracing the curve of your bare hip as yours soothed the darkening red mark you'd left behind on his neck. The fairy lights strung above your bed cast soft, welcoming shadows all around, highlighting that wonderful look in his eyes, open and awed and oh so loving and you knew your gaze held the same.
"I'm, I-" He started, then shook his head and leaned down to place a lingering kiss on your cheek. "I just -shit."
"Whoa, you're speechless," You teased, sweeping a wayward strand of sweaty blond hair away from his forehead. "Guess I really blew your mind, huh?"
"Fucking fried it." He shook his head again with the dopiest, dreamiest smile you'd ever seen and you giggled as he pulled you closer, calloused palm flat against the small of your back. "I'm so fucking in love with you. Straight up head over heels, babe." 
You smiled even wider at his words and how they ignited that flame burning inside you once again. "Good thing I'm fucking head over heels, hopelessly in love with you, too." You replied and pushed him back onto the bed, swinging a leg over his thighs so you were the one on top this time. "And I'm gonna blow your damn mind again."
You weren't sure what you expected life to be like after you had sex for the first time. You'd always heard it was this momentous occasion, that you'd suddenly feel like a real woman or whatever stupid label society came up with to further control girls and their sexuality but honestly, you still felt like the same person. All those rom-coms and their jokes about having that look after getting laid were total and complete bullshit, you realized; to you, sex was just a different, more intimate way to show your love and you just happened to like showing it often (and luckily JJ did, too). You flaunted it in other ways, too, his bandanas tied in your hair and shirts in your closet, your necklaces resting against his collarbone and bracelets you learned to make around his wrists, but there was nothing like the marks you left on each other's skin -necks, inner arms, hipbones- when you were alone together in the dark.
Life went on. Months flew by and things were nearly perfect for you: great friends, good grades, a wonderful relationship with your loving boyfriend. The girl of your past, the one who kept to herself and avoided anything that had to do with being vulnerable like the plague was dead and gone and in her place was the person you always wanted to be. You were happy -ridiculously, deliriously happy- sixteen and so in love with the life you built that you'd almost forgotten about your mom's tendency to relocate your family every few years; that nagging thought was still in the back of your mind but you refused to let it control your life with fear of losing everything -everyone- you'd come to love.
But you knew how the saying went: the bigger you are, the harder you fall.
The higher you climb on an unstable mountain, the more it hurts when it inevitably crumbles beneath you. 
Your mountain didn't just crumble: it was violently torn apart, ripped into pieces by a devastating earthquake, a destructive landslide caused by the one person who promised she wouldn't hurt you anymore but the catalyst that unintentionally set it in motion came from someone you never expected: your sister.
Daisy graduated from the kook academy and got accepted into her dream school, UCLA, alongside her boyfriend Daniel (see, you knew his name wasn't Deke) but you didn't think too much of it. After all, you knew that day would come eventually, the day your big sister would head off to college and leave you, her shadow, behind but the thought didn't fill you with dread like it used to. You had friends, a found family to soothe the inescapable sting of the Daisy-shaped hole in your heart and keep your spirits high when she hopped on that plane to California in the fall.
You still had the summer though and you made it count, days spent with your friends and nights spent with your sister, doing all the things you used to do together when you were little; watching movies, playing games, making a total mess in the kitchen when you baked batches and batches of cookies that had both your boyfriend and hers always hanging around like dogs begging for scraps. You and Daisy started putting them to work the second they ate two dozen snickerdoodles by themselves (Daniel was an excellent cook while JJ was a total disaster) and those nights always ended with the four of you squished together on the couch, wrapped in blankets and cookies and warmth while a scary movie played on in the background. 
The day before Daisy left for LA, you met your parents and sister at The Wreck for what you thought would be your last family dinner until Thanksgiving break but it turned out you were the only one who believed that. You should've known something was wrong the second your dad didn't even make a joke about your friends dropping you off in John B's rust bucket of a van or when JJ pulled you back in for a kiss that was just a little bit too risque for the public eye (You'd laughed when John B and Pope both pretended to gag and just kissed him harder, not giving a single shit about who saw, even your parents.). You should've known when your mother's smile was a little strained or when your sister wouldn't meet your eyes. You should've known but you stupidly didn't see the signs and that made Rebekah's words so much harder to swallow.
"We're moving to California."
You dropped the loaded nacho in your hand back onto your plate as you stared at her, gaping like a fish. "E-Excuse me but what the actual fuck?"
"Language, Y/N." 
"I don't give a shit about my language, Mom, I give a shit about the fact that you broke your promise!" You hissed, roughly pushing your plate away and almost knocking your glass of water over. 
"Sweetheart-"
"You promised." 
Your mother winced at the tightness of your voice and how you snatched your clenched fist out from under her hand. "I know, dear, but I couldn't pass on this offer and I know how much you're going to miss your sister-"
"Yeah, I'll miss Daisy but I don't want to move across the country just to be near her! God, let her be her own person for once!"
"Y/N-"
"And what about me, huh? I'm happy here! This is my home! I have friends, a boyfriend -I'm not leaving!"
"Honey, I understand you're upset-"
"Do you?" You interrupted your dad with a bitter laugh, fighting the tears you felt pricking at your eyes. "Do you understand what you're forcing me to lose?"
Bill looked away as Kiara arrived with your food and set the plates down in awkward silence. You gave her a tight smile when she quickly patted your back and then returned to the kitchen, sending you a concerned glance over her shoulder before she disappeared through the double doors and you turned to face Daisy. 
"Day, did you know?" Your sister avoiding your sudden, sharp gaze was all the answer you needed and your heart dropped like an anchor, weighing heavy on your stomach. You felt sick. You felt furious. But most of all, you felt betrayed.  
Suddenly, the sight of your favorite meal in front of you wasn't so appetizing anymore and you abruptly stood, your chair scraping roughly against the floor. Heads turned to look in your direction but you ignored their curious stares as you snarled with all the venom you could muster across the table at your mother, "I knew I never should've trusted a word you said."
You turned away from her hurt expression -the sheer audacity she had, acting like she was the one whose heart was shattering- and ran out the front door of The Wreck before anyone could stop you, pretending not to hear their voices calling after your retreating back. You didn't know where your feet were taking you but you really didn't care, just as long as it was far, far away from your family.
You ran until your aching legs forced you to stop and you doubled over, hands on your thighs as you tried to catch your breath and it wasn't until you saw the water dripping onto the sidewalk beneath you did you realize you were crying. Footsteps slowed to a stop beside you and your braced yourself to hear Daisy's apology or worse, your mother's, but got Kiara's winded voice instead.
"Did you ever think about doing cross country? 'Cause holy shit," She gasped with her hands on her hips. "You can run." 
Despite feeling like your whole fucking world was falling apart around you, you still managed a snort of laughter at your friend's remark and eagerly returned her embrace when she wrapped her arms around your shoulders, burying your face against her neck. She held you as you cried, running a soothing hand up and down your back until the rest of your friends pulled up in the Volkswagen and you found yourself crying on a different shoulder, one you knew better than your own. 
The white hot fury had left your body and now all you felt was numb. Numb and empty and hollow as you quietly explained everything on the ride back to the Chateau, avoiding your friends' sympathetic stares by playing with a loose thread at the bottom of JJ's shirt. He ran a hand through your hair while you leaned against him and you let his touch slowly bleed life back into your heart. 
"You're not leaving, okay? My parents love you so you can stay with me." Kiara declared later as you all lounged around the bonfire, passing a joint back and forth.
"Or me. My dad would probably let you stay if you helped out around the shop," Pope piped up, handing it over to you without taking a drag as John B added, "Me, too. We have an extra room."
"Tijuana's always nice, too, babe." JJ suggested, grabbing your hand holding the joint and bringing it to his mouth so he could take a hit. "Just a thought."
You smiled softly and took your own hit, slowly blowing smoke into the air. "You guys are the best. I doubt my parents'll change their minds...but I guess it wouldn't hurt to try." It would definitely hurt if your desperate bid to stay didn't work but you tried not to think about that and focused instead on having a good time with your friends, forgetting all about your phone that was switched to silent and burning a hole in your purse. 
Later, after the others headed inside for the night and it was just you and JJ left, you were reminded of your fifteenth birthday. You'd laid like you were now, on a blanket under the stars beside a dying fire and you told him you loved him for the first time and as much as it tore you apart to know it might all come to an end, you didn't regret it. You didn't regret befriending Kiara back in eighth grade or letting the pogues become so important to you or falling so hard for the boy holding you in his arms. And right then, all you wanted to do was hold onto that feeling by showing him your love and getting loved in return. 
You propped yourself up on your elbow and leaned down to kiss him, your other hand slipping under his shirt in the flickering glow of the flames and you smiled against his lips when he immediately rolled onto his back so you were on top, his hand doing some exploring of its own under your sundress.  
"I don't want to feel anything but you tonight." You answered the question in his eyes when you broke apart some time later, both breathing heavily with your skirt hitched up over your thighs and his shirt tossed somewhere on the grass behind you. "Please."
"Here?"
You'd never fucked outside before but you figured now would be the perfect time to try and to be honest, you were too impatient to make it to a bed so you nodded, slowly rolling your hips against his. "Right here."
You lost yourself in the ardent touch of his calloused hands with the haze of smoke hanging in the cool night air, letting everything slip away until he was the only thing that remained. He was all you needed, tan skin slick with sweat and mouth searing hot, your nails trailing scratches down his back while your lips left smudged marks of blood red on his face. He took you higher and higher, doing exactly what you asked him to, over and over until you nearly forgot your own name and when you finally came back down, he held you close until your limbs stopped shaking and your heart slowed back to its normal rhythm.
"I don't want to lose you." You admitted quietly into the dark, wiping at a stubborn lipstick stain on the corner of his mouth and your thumb caught on his lip when JJ shook his head, then leaned down to drop a kiss at your hairline.
"You won't."
You wanted to believe him so badly it hurt but you didn't know if you could so instead you threaded your fingers through his hair and pulled him down to press your mouth to his, his cheek, his jawline, everywhere you could reach, drowning yourself in the right now in hopes that the future would never come. 
"I love you, Y/N. Don't you dare forget it." He whispered it against the shell of your ear before trailing his lips down your neck and the light scrape of his teeth on your skin turned your voice into a breathless sigh as you repeated his words into the air, your back arching from the blanket when he hit a particularly sensitive spot and sent electricity racing through your veins. You may have spoken your love softly but you showed it fiercely, each touch a little harder than the last, each kiss a little rougher and together you burned through the dark like a funeral pyre.
Hope was a dangerous thing to feel; it was fragile and delicate, hard to keep but oh so easy to lose for someone like you, a girl who spent her whole life searching for a home, only to have it ripped away when she finally found it. It didn't matter what you said or how much you cried or even when Kiara and her parents advocated on your behalf, your time on the island was up and just like that, whatever hope you had left disappeared into thin air and left you wondering if you'd ever get it back again.
-
tagging some mutuals who might be interested: @sinkbeneathwaves​ @jiaraendgame​ @sunnypogue​ @alexa-playafricabytoto​ @maybanks​
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Text
Blended
I was (thankfully) given some time off during this holiday season; which I promptly used to spend time with the family and recharge at home. Also spent time watching various movies during this time and a little LoK story idea came from it.
In my usual writing preference – it’s still a Lin/Tenzin endgame story but – in sort of a modern setting AU, blended family/semi-highschool themed with ages differed a bit (Lin and Tenzin was aged down by around 5 years). Expect it to be tropey and may be a bit of a cliché. This is written on a whim so if it doesn’t make sense…ah well. Haha! May edit this piece later on…
I’m considering this to be a short story, just a little self-indulgent-written-for-fun type of thing. But if other people enjoy it too then that’s such an added bonus so I’m sharing it with you as well. 😊 Let me know what you think since this is somewhat different from my usual style, I guess.
Also – I have misgivings regarding creating OCs so I’m likely to lean on canon characters and take a lot of creative license in developing them for the story.
 ---
Title (tentative):  Blended
Legend of Korra, Lin/Tenzin, Modern AU, no bending
(Not sure if one-shot or will be multi-part yet)
 ---
Tenzin, Republic City Primary School
“Thank you for making time to meet today,” The silver-haired lady clasped her hands together on her desk. “I know you must have a packed schedule, but I think it would be good to have the check-in session for your daughter today.”
“Yes, of course – anything for my daughter.” The bald and bearded man threw a look at the door’s window, where he could see his daughter swinging her legs while seated at the corridor.
“Ikki is a bright child and she’s been doing her best to catch up with the class requirements. She excels the most at individual tasks.” The teacher continued to talk a little bit more about the projects that the students have been working on.
Teacher Yue handed the father a folder marked “Ikki”. Tenzin carefully picked it up and looked into the contents, smiling as he saw Ikki’s artworks and class outputs.
“However, I see that she seems to have challenges in adjusting in a large class set-up.” Yue shared. “It’s nothing to worry about though. We’ve had several transferees in the past as well and this is usual; I expect that might take a little bit longer since it’s a transition from homeschooling to a big school.”
Tenzin frowned and he hurt for his daughter. His two children had both been homeschooled until recently.
They also had to experience a lot of upheaval in the past year or so – from the divorce, to being uprooted from their childhood home, moving to a new city, and then going to a new school.
He did notice that while his son was as precocious as ever (maybe owing to his young age?), his daughter had become more subdued since their move.
“What can we do for her?”
“Well, we have a big sister-little sister type of mentorship program.” The teacher pushed forward a brochure and several index cards. “It’s mostly an afterschool interaction activity, we have here several students who have been volunteering. Maybe you’d like to ask Ikki to join?” She pointed at the index cards. “Feel free to select which mentor you think would help her best. We usually ask the parent or the student to select their preferred mentor profile from the roster. We would not want Ikki to feel uncomfortable; you’d know her best than any teacher.”
He nodded. After a few moments perusing the index cards and the brochure and pulled out one from the pile. “Let’s go with this girl.”
Tenzin pointed out to a profile labelled Jinora.
 ---
Jinora, Home
The ten-year old girl has just finished putting hair in a bun when she heard a knock on her bedroom door.
“Jinora!” It was her oldest brother. “Mom says I can use the car today – want to leave with us instead of riding the bus?”
“Sure!” She called back, quickly grabbing her backpack. “I’ll be down in a bit.”
“Alright!”
Smack!
“Hey! Why did you do that for?”
“Good morning bro!”
Jinora rolled her eyes good-naturedly. That was probably her other brother slapping the arm of the other one.
Even at eighteen and sixteen years old respectively, they tend to act like children occasionally to the consternation of their mother.
She hurried down, knowing that if she did not do so, there would be no pancakes left for her.
Jinora heard her mother’s gruff voice in the dining room. “Bolin! Leave some eggs for your sister!”
“But, Mom,” Bolin spoke through a mouthful of scrambled eggs. “I’m a growing boy. I need this stuff.”
“And Jinora is a growing girl,” Their mother drolly responded, taking a sip of her coffee after putting down the last batch of pancakes on the platter. “There should be enough from everyone.”
“It’s fine, Mom,” Jinora immediately sat down and her brother forked two pancakes to her plate. “Thanks, Mako.” She slathered butter all over the cakes then squeezed a load of maple syrup.
She ignored Bolin gagging at her left at the amount of sweetness. She also ignored her mother who was hiding a smile and shaking her head at seeing the display.
In their family, it was only Jinora had a penchant for sweets. Her mother said she likely took after her father in that regard.
Her father…her absentee father…
Jinora shook off her maudlin thoughts when she saw Pabu, Bolin’s pet guinea pig, land on her mother’s shoulder, probably hopping from her brother’s backpack which was hung behind his chair.
Pabu began chewing their mother’s greying hair without warning.
Wheek-wheek-wheek.
“BOLIN!”
“I’m so sorry, Mom! Pabu get down from there – leave mom’s hair alone!”
All in all, it was another morning in their household.
It was noisy and sometimes chaotic, but Jinora would not exchange it for the world.
 ---
Ikki, library
Truth be told, Ikki liked going to school. She even liked her teacher and classmates.
She liked to be busy and the activities were very interesting. Getting homeschooled and only seeing their tutor, nanny and Meelo had become very tedious anyway.
Staying at their old home also reminded her acutely that their mother was not there anymore. She did not understand what happened, but she tried to.
It has been more than a year since their parents sat her and her brother down to explain that they were separating but it did not mean they did not love her and Meelo any less.
At first, she thought it might have been her fault (or maybe Meelo’s fault for that matter, he did fart a lot and that annoyed her terribly). Her dad and mom were quick to quash those theories, however. They spoke of drifting apart, change in priorities and other grown-up things that she supposed she will understand when she gets older.
But for now, she supposed as she opened her notebook on one of the long tables in the library, they would need to get used to their new living arrangement.
It was difficult last year as they were shuttled to and from two households. It also did not help that their mother was starting out with her new venture had been spending less time at her home. On the other hand, Ikki noticed their father spending more time with them, cutting down his work hours. It all came to a head when Pema had said she will be moving to another country to establish her new business. And so, they ended up -.
“Hey, are you Ikki?”
Ikki looked up to see an older girl with dark brown hair in a bun.
She nodded her head yes.
The girl gave her a bright smile and extended her hand.
“I’m Jinora and welcome to Republic City!”
 ---
Lin, Future Industries Head Office
Lin tiredly wiped her glasses clean before putting them on again, rereading her email response for one last time before hitting send.
It had been a long yet productive day. Her team had managed to fulfill all the visual design requirements that were due that day. She reviewed the different files sent to the printers, making sure that the final and correct collaterals were attached.
Her last task was to ensure that the last set of proposals were on-brand and aligned with Future Industries’ visual identity. Once she had provided her comments and revisions needed on the file, she sat back as she waited for the files to be uploaded to their server.
She reached for her cellphone, wanting to check on her kids while waiting. She looked at their family group chat and read messages from the last time she sent one.
 Ohana (Lin repressed the urge to cringe. That was the final time that she would ask Bolin to create their group chat)
Lin: Kids – as mentioned earlier, I’ll be home a bit late. No need to drop by to fetch me; have dinner already and don’t wait up.
Jinora: Mom, I’ll be staying behind after class – I got a mentee! ☺ Mako Bolin can you wait up?
Mako: Jinora Bo has training today; I think we can wait for you.
Bolin: Jinora 👍🏼
Jinora: Mako Bolin thanks! 🙌
Jinora: Mako what will you be doing while waiting? You sure you’ll be okay?
Mako: Don’t worry about me. I’ll manage.
Lin scrolled through some more messages. Knowing her eldest, Mako would like skulk off to the library.
Jinora: I met my mentee this afternoon. She’s such a lovely girl.
Lin smiled at this. Her daughter had always been the polite one.
Jinora: Her name’s Ikki and she’s two years younger than me. She said she and her father had first checked out Patola Mountain Primary.
Lin frowned. Patola Primary was far; she went there as a child.
Mako: Kid didn’t like it there?
Jinora: They didn’t have the chance to know. They had to move besause of her father’s job.
Bolin: heeey sorry guys- just about to be done with training. Just gonna shower …unless I just shower at home?
Jinora: Ew, no Bo. Shower first please
Mako: Agree. You’ll stink up the car, bro.
Ding!
Lin drew her attention from her phone as her laptop screen indicated that the files have been uploaded. She hit the send button and packed up for the day.
She was looking forward to spending some quiet time with her kids tonight.
 ---
Bumi, White Lotus Headquarters
Bumi leaned back in his fully ergonomic chair, thinking about how times had changed.
Being in an office was something he balked at when he was younger. But now, after serving a long career in defense and military, he submitted his retirement and come to the aid of his younger brother.
Ah, his only brother – back in the day, he would be hard-pressed to keep contact with his brother.
His brother who took on the role of spearheading their family’s company back when their father died.
His brother who had the task of continuing to revive the company and making sure it keeps up with the times.
His brother, who, despite being the youngest, was tagged by the board of directors as the heir apparent owing to his excellent academic records.
His brother who Bumi had felt envious of at some point. He later on realized that his brother actually missed out on a lot of freedom in his life.
His brother who managed to keep their company part of the Top 100 and make malls relevant again.
His brother who probably made some life decisions for the benefit of their company rather than his own.
His brother who had been through hell and back the past year when he and his much younger wife called it quits. His brother whose ex-wife is now galivanting somewhere in the Fire Nation, expanding a business built on horticulture and floristry.
His brother who, despite making some decisions that Bumi might not agree with, is still family.
And if there was anything that their parents taught them – family is permanent.
The ex-military man took a deep breath, looking at their last family photo. For what it’s worth, he liked to think that their fragmented family had found its way back into each other in their adulthood.
Bumi had to admit that Tenzin did have remarkable business acumen that benefited their company, a conglomerate built on the mall industry. With the fourth industrial revolution at hand and the shift towards virtual and digital, the White Lotus Corporation had been challenged during the last years of their father’s life. Tenzin had worked hard to change the ways of working and the culture in the company.
To do it, he had to make sure that there is a buy-in from the board. Ironically, to bring the company to the current century, he had to abide with one of the most archaic practices – an arranged marriage, a marriage that would serve as a press release to the business world in general, that their company was stable and there to stay.
Bumi had been surprised to get a call from Tenzin back then. He had called to let him know of his impending engagement, seeking support. Bumi had cheered, given his congratulations – but named the wrong bride. He had launched into a long tirade, berating his brother for his choices. Tenzin had shouted back his defense.
He still did not understand why Tenzin acted the way he did. However, he could never regret his niece and nephew which came from this questionable business-like union.
Bloop-bloop-bloop.
Speaking of which…
“Hey Uncle Bumi!”
“Hello there, cloudchild!” Bumi greeted his niece with a nickname his sister Kya came up with, given that the kids were actually born somewhere near the mountains. “How’s the new school?”
“It’s great!” Ikki beamed at him and gushed into a long narrative of what she had been up to in the past days.
Bumi enjoyed video conferencing with his niece and nephew. Granted, Meelo had a short attention span but Ikki had always had the flair for storytelling.
It pleased him to see her spark back. He had heard from his brother and their trusted bodyguard/chauffeur Shung that Ikki had been withdrawn during the first weeks in Republic City. It saddened him to learn that the otherwise bubbly child had been affected in that way.
“…And then, I invited her over! Daddy said it was okay – and she’s sooooo nice. Didjaknow she also knows how to play the piano! We practiced a bit. She’s good even if her family didn’t have a piano, they only had this electronic keyboard but it’s so short. But she did well. She said she had a stepdad and it was totally okay. They’re a happy family. D’you think I’ll have a stepmom too? I think it would be okay if Daddy thinks so and maybe we’ll be a happy family here too and you know I joined this contest in school and I-.”
“Whoa, slow down, kiddo.” Bumi let out his booming laughter. “I didn’t quite catch it – what’s the name of your new friend?” He was heartened that Ikki seemed to have adjusted better now.
“Jinora!” His seven-year-old niece practically chirped the name. “She’s actually here!” Ikki turned to someone from beyond the view of the webcam. “Jin, it’s my Uncle Bumi – I want you to meet him!”
“Um, it’s fine, Ikki.” A calm voice of an older child can be heard. “I can wait here.”
“Nooonseeense.” Bumi could see Ikki pull something, rather someone to the camera. “Uncle Bumi, this is my friend Jinora. Jinora, my Uncle Bumi.” She said by way of introducing them.
Jinora gives a small wave and a soft hello.
Bumi gives them a short bow. “Nice to meet you, Jinora. It’s great to meet the friend of my favorite niece (Ikki ­please don’t tell Korra).”
Ikki gives a delighted clap and proceeds into another lengthy tale on what she and Jinora were working on that day at home.
Bumi smiles back at them, observing the children’s banter as they demonstrate the monologue that Ikki was preparing for. It was amusing.
Heh, they could be cousins.
He recalled when he was young, he, his siblings and even the sisters-who-must-not-be-named would stay over in one house after school to work on school projects. It had been one of the highlights of his childhood. He was glad that his niece would be somewhat experience it; he had been worried a few years back when Tenzin and Pema (primarily Pema) were very protective of their kids. It was to the point that they were both homeschooled and basically kept out of the public eye and the public itself.
It can’t be good for socialization. But what can he say? He didn’t have kids so he probably wouldn’t know what he was talking about, right?
He’s just fun ole Uncle Bumi.
Nonetheless, as he turned his attention back to the two girls, Bumi promised himself that he will always be there for his brother’s kids. It’s the least he could do as their godfather.
 ---
Mako, Republic City High
“I worry about Mom.” Mako picked at his dumplings during lunch time, a stark contrast to his brother who was eating a lot (“Coach said I needed to bulk up!”).
“Why? Has my dad been overworking her?” Asami slipped beside him at their usual lunch table. She brought out her packed lunch of pasta and a bottle of coconut water. “Just let me know and I can try to look into it.” She was, after all, interning at Future Industries in her spare time.
“Now that’s just powerplay.” The exchange student from Ba Sing Se High chortled, taking a sip of his sparkling water. “And that’s a no-no and Auntie will definitely get mad if she hears about that.”
“You would know about powerplay,” Bolin swallowed a mouthful of chicken, pointing his fork at the other boy. “Wasn’t that why you got the last slot in the elective you wanted to take this year?”
“Who? Me?” The other boy dramatically placed a hand on his chest, eyes widening. “You think, I Wu would stoop so low as to manipulate the results of the audition for the voice elective? Don’t you think I have enough talent to get into that class?”
Bolin just snorted into his food and Asami choked on her drink. Wu cracked a smile at their reactions.
“Again, Wu – don’t let Mom hear you call her Auntie.” Mako reiterated for the nth time in their friendship. “She hates it.”
“That’s why I do it.” Wu winked at them.
“Wait, Mako, what were you saying about Mom?” Bolin managed to ask in between bites of food. “Is something wrong? I mean, she’s a little bit run-down but she said it’s just because of the time of the year.” The last quarter of the year, after all, is usually the busiest.
“No, it’s just – well,” Mako sought words to explain it. “I’ll be leaving for college, you’ll be away for training, and okay, Jinora would be there but she’s in middle school now…” He trailed off. With Jinora’s aptitude and interests, Mako would not be surprised if she took on a lot of electives and extra-curricular activities. “Mom works too hard, you know?” He ended lamely.
“She has always looked out for us, but yeah,” A shadow passed over his brother’s face. “Ever since Pa passed away a few years back, she poured much of her energy to ensuring our welfare. She’s barely spent time for herself.”
Mako met Bolin’s now worried eyes.
The brothers knew that their mom had sacrificed a lot for them and Jinora.
When they first met Lin and one-year-old Jinora, she had already been under a lot of duress – taking care of a baby, leaving behind Jinora’s deadbeat dad, settling down in a new neighborhood and restarting a career. It had been two years later when she married their father San, who had been a sergeant at the city’s police station at the time.
And, Mako thought wearily, history has not been kind to Lin Beifong at all. While they did have four years (four wonderful years that Mako will treasure for the rest of his life), their fairytale-like family life came to an abrupt end.
San was involved in an armed bank robbery four years later and had not survived the gunshot wounds – leaving Lin behind with two boys at the brink of puberty and a young daughter.
Bolin and Jinora had been very confused at the time. Mako, already fifteen, had been expecting that he and Bolin would be forced into the system or sent off to their relatives in Ba Sing Se. He felt that Lin would not be in any way obligated to take him and his brother in; they were not blood relatives anyway. They were just stepchildren.
To his stunned astonishment, Lin did neither.  He recalled crying in Lin’s arms that night after his father’s funeral.
She had asked him, with a confused expression, why he was packing. Lin wept alongside him as she explained that Mako and Bolin are her sons and there was no way that she was sending them away.
Since then, Mako made sure to look after his mom the way she looked after them. The brothers’ protectiveness was soon well-known in their neighborhood.
Probably also why no one had expressed any type of interest towards Lin even years after…
Mako reflected that it might have been a good move on their part but now it might have been a little bit selfish.
He and Bolin would now need to rethink their strategy…
After all, their mom Lin deserves all the happiness in the world.
 ---
Tenzin, Republic City Primary School – Parking Lot
“Are you sure you’re not just using this as an excuse to have a sleepover?” Tenzin looked over at his daughter, a teasing grin out of place on his face.
“Of course not, Daddy.” Ikki replied indignantly, kicking pebbles as they waited at the parking lot.
“Why can’t you do the project at our house?” He was actually leaning towards allowing Ikki on her first ever sleepover/overnight but he wanted to hear from his daughter.
“We’ll need a big big printer, Daddy.” Ikki raised her arms to show him just how big. “We’ll need to print out my project and Jinora’s mommy has a big printer and lamin-lami-lamintor (“Laminating machine, dear?” Tenzin clarified.) because she frilancets (“Freelances?”).”
“Mmhhmm.” Tenzin looked across the school building, shifting Ikki’s overnight bag on his shoulder.
Ikki timidly approached him the other night, asking if she could spend Friday night and Saturday at her friend Jinora’s house. They had an output required of them of the big sister-little sister program. Tenzin was actually unclear as to what is the specific output that the girls had decided on but it did require a large-scale printer and a laminating machine.
Jinora attempted to explain to him what they were going to do during the last week that they were in his house but he felt out of his depth so he had nodded and let them work on what they needed to.
The father had met Jinora several times already in the past months so he knew the child was in earnest that their intent for the overnight activity would be mainly to finish a project. He also realized (well, Bumi made him realize) that Ikki was old enough for a sleepover (and Pema’s overprotectiveness would be to the detriment of their kids’ development). Additionally, he thought grimly, it would also keep Meelo from wreaking havoc on the work area of the girls.
Nonetheless, he took up Jinora’s mom’s offer to meet up for snacks before she takes the kids home. This would give him a chance to meet the mom, discuss some ground rules and as well thank the mom privately for letting Jinora help Ikki come out of her shell during her first months in Republic City Primary. Jinora did say that her pa and mom used to do the same before she spends the night over at her other friends – the parents meet up, share a small meal, get to know each other. Tenzin thought this was a good parenting tactic; it would definitely assuage his fears as well.
But now, said mom was late.
Jinora had hurried to them, dragging with her a large cartolina and illustration board. She explained that her mom’s work meeting overran and if it would be okay if she rode with them? Her mom will be meeting them at the local diner instead, so they don’t get caught up in traffic.
Tenzin could feel his impatience growing.
So far, this woman was not making a good impression on him.
How on earth she produced a lovely daughter like Jinora was beyond him.
 ---
Lin, Narook’s
Damn Sato, Lin ground her teeth as she finally parked her car into the last parking space in front of Narook’s. Of all the days for a meeting to go over time, it has to be today when she had explicitly asked to leave early to fetch her daughter.
Jinora had provided her enough context to know that making a good impression with Ikki’s dad was important to her daughter.
Lin heard that the dad was some big shot divorced corporate guy, who, she thought, was a bit paranoid about his kids’ safety.
Lin acted as an arts club moderator so she was regularly present at the Republic City High, which gave her chances to meet Ikki whenever she drops by the primary school to fetch Jinora.
The girl was a sweet child – energetic and delightful once she felt comfortable enough with you. It had come to her attention, in the short conversations with the kid, that she was not allowed to go out and play with other kids in their old neighborhood so she was very much excited to have a new friend outside of her class and her family.
When Jinora mentioned their culminating project and their dilemma on the timeline and materials, Lin suggested that they take the project home to work on.
The crestfallen expression of Ikki as she stated that her dad would not allow her pushed Lin to share that she’s willing to talk to the dad to help convince him to give his permission.
The infectious smile that burst on Ikki’s face was enough to convince Lin that she made the right decision.
Now, however, as she entered the diner, spotting her daughter at the corner booth, she froze and started to doubt all her life decisions that led to this moment.
Wondering and questioning the universe what had she done in her past life for her to deserve this.
Across Jinora, beside the talkative Ikki, sat Tenzin – her former boyfriend and Jinora’s father.
 ---
Note: Soooo hmmmmmm. What do you think?
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cinnaminsvga · 4 years
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Holo... Numver 60 with namjoon? Hope your writers block will go away soon! Have a nice day. Bye~~
premise: “you look like you could use a hug.” genre: fluff, canon compliant?? || wc: 1K+ a/n: i told myself i’d never write reader insert canon compliant fics but yenno... might as well try everything once?? idk it’s 4am i haven’t slept in 24 hours rip
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Namjoon’s brain feels like it’s going to explode. No, scratch that—the tense is wrong. Namjoon’s brain felt like it already exploded.
His studio looks like a set for a WWII movie. Scraps of paper everywhere— balled up or otherwise, 20% of which were filled with rejected lyrics and 80% of which were finished sudoku puzzles. Take-out boxes, half-empty iced americano cups, his laundry from three days ago when he had showered at the office: he felt like he’s swimming in his own filth and failure.
This is not unexpected: The toil and trouble of pre-comeback season means more hours spent staring at a blank screen than anything remotely enjoyable for Namjoon. The bags under his eyes could very well be designer, and Namjoon contemplates selling them to a crazed hipster fashionista (read: Hoseok) for OOTD inspo, but he wouldn’t even make it two steps out his door without collapsing, so that plan is buried and gone. He could, instead, maybe order more jjajangyeon for a snack. It’ll be his fifth snack within the last six hours, but whatever. That, he supposes, is something he could accomplish at the very least.
This is not expected: It is 4 in the morning, and the last thing he expects is for a knock to come from outside his door. 
It takes too long for Namjoon to respond, mostly because his fatigued brain mistakes the rhythm for one of his samples from two days ago. Also, he’s really lazy right now and he desperately hopes that whoever is behind the door would go away and leave him and his suffering artist self alone. 
“Please don’t come in. I want to die alone, please,” he pleads. “Let me enjoy my lacklustre melodies and limp beats for another hour at least.”
But of course, the universe refuses to listen. Or rather, you refuse to listen.
“Kim Namjoon, this is an intervention,” you greet, the door opening with a bang when you finally manage to pick it open. You brandish your bobby pin with a smirk, much like how a heroine might wield her sword to face a dragon to save her one true love, which in this case was a semi-incoherent boy shaped like a ball of anxiety. 
Namjoon glowers at the pathetic excuse for a lock his studio has, once again wondering why Yoongi-hyung had managed to persuade their manager to install a hi-tech number pad for him. Curse you and your lock-picking skills.
“I’ve come to get your ass to bed! A real bed, by the way. Not this stupid couch you bought for 10 million won from an artisan furniture maker,” you huff. "Girlfriend’s orders!”
“Y/N,” he sighs, slumping onto his desk. He hits his head accidentally, but he’s too fuzzy to even notice the growing lump on his forehead. “I am going to turn into dust soon. There would be nothing left of me to bring to bed. Leave me here to join my deceased creativity.”
“I could always borrow a broom from one of the janitors,” you shrug, skipping over to him. You poke him in the side boob. He wiggles for a moment, but not as much as you had hoped. “Earth to Joonie? You in there bud? Marco?”
He can feel your gaze burn the back of his neck, but his head feels to heavy to move and face you. “Polo,” he manages to mumble back. He can feel himself drooling onto the table, but he can’t bring himself to care. He knows he’s being a giant baby about this, so he might as well act like one. “No, I am not in here. I am everywhere. I feel like Scarlett Johansson in that Lucy movie. Like I’ve unlocked 100% of my brain and I’m traversing through space and time.”
You nudge him gently to his side so that he wouldn’t suffocate himself to death. He takes a deep breath, humming thankfully. “I highly doubt that, because if you did, then you would have finished this album weeks ago.”
“That’s harsh, buddy,” he pouts, glaring at you. Which normally wouldn’t be effective anyway since he’s as intimidating as a newborn panda, but it’s even worse now that he looks the part, too. 
“Buddy? Geez, didn’t know you were getting this bad if I got demoted from girlfriend to buddy,” you snort. You begin plucking off the trash from his desk, whistling both in horror and admiration at the sizeable spill that had somehow solidified into a large hulking mass beside his keyboard. “Joonie, I know you’ve been holed up in here for a minute, but I sincerely hope for my sanity that the white stains are from carbonara sauce and not something else.”
“I honestly don’t know, and I don’t feel like lying if I knew anyway,” he sighs. He begins the torturous motion to straighten his back, his spine popping like an EDM beat. He melts back into his backrest, looking up at you with sad, tired eyes. “Help me?” he whines, lower lip wobbling for extra effect.
You roll your eyes, but the smirk on your face tells him that you’re amused and not actually annoyed. He’s normally not this dramatic, and you both know it. Perhaps he’s been spending too much time with Seokjin lately, or more likely, it’s you who has been spending too much time with his hyung, and indirectly rubbing off on him in the process. 
“Need me to call an ambulance? Get you a wheelchair? Subscribe you to Life Alert?” you ask.
“No, I’m good. Just gimme a moment to... recalibrate,” he says, closing his eyes. Wow, have his eyelids always been this heavy? Maybe he could doze off a little and you wouldn’t notice...
“Namjoon, you’re snoring. Wake up,” you lie, but time doesn’t feel real to Namjoon right now, so he could have fallen asleep for ten days and wouldn’t have known either way. You gently cradle his cheeks, massaging his face into weird positions for your own amusement. Then, “Okay, buddy. I’m gonna lift you now.”
“You can’t,” he mumbles sleepily. You push his cheeks together until he looks like a puffy goldfish. “Yow a toofpick compawed tew me.”
“True,” you hum, but your arms are already wrapping around him. He sags into your touch immediately, only just realizing how much he misses this, misses you. Misses human connection, and not just his hand cranking his junk. He nuzzles into your neck, sighing in relief. 
“This is an excuse to hug me, isn’t it?” he says, but he doesn’t make a move to pull away. Neither do you, queen that you are.
“You just looked like you could use a hug,” you say, rubbing his back. He smiles into your skin, kissing you chastely there. 
“Thank you, my love. I kinda needed that,” he yawns, pulling away far enough to kiss you properly on the lips. “Love you, Y/N.”
“Love you too buddy,” you smile, pinching him lightly on the cheek. “C’mon. Let’s get your tired bones to a bed.”
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podlingmom · 4 years
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SkekSil!
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SkekSil
Why I like them
Everything. His manner of speech, his mannerisms and the way he moves, his political escapades and his funny moments. He's voiced by Simon Pegg who voiced my childhood obsession Buck the weasel, he wines like a puppy when he's upset, His literal job description is picking out the Emperor's clothes. I also have this weird fixation with seeing my favorite characters suffer, and thankfully we got a lot of that.
Why I don’t
Drinking the last of Mira's essence, semi-killing Tavra (i still think she's in that spooder)
Favorite episode (scene if movie) Episode 6 Aka "The peachberry massacre" SkekSil hits a low point and I love it.
Favorite season/movie I can't choose, In AOR he is just so incredibly complex. I love the power struggles between him and the other skeksis, as well as all the funny moments. Though in the movie he loses all he has worked so hard for and gets stripped naked so, the film has a special place in my heart.
Favorite line “Flog me! Scold me! I am riddled with shame!” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) “I go now, bye bye.” “I am not afraid of you!” *scientist pulls out knife* “SCREAMS!” “Get back! SPITHEAD!” “Cease all merrymaking!”
Favorite outfit Nekkid
OTP I like the angsty SilXUng as Exes Idea, but I adore the idea of them growing close as SilSol and UngIm
Brotp Something I like about the character is that he doesn't fall into any cliques. Like humans, the skeksis have friend groups, but skekSil is such a slimy bastard none of the others want anything to do with him.
Head Canon A multilingual, sekSil can speak all of Thra’s languages, including the skeksis tongue, Gelfling, old Gelfling, Podling, Gruenak, and Augrah’s language, the only tongue he can't speak is the mystic’s language. When needed, he is called upon as a translator for political missions. He is also able to imitate any animal call or sound by just hearing it once.
As seen in Legends of the Dark Crystal, he has control over the animals residing in the castle, using them to carry out tasks and gather info. It’s basically like if Deet or Kira uses their animal powers for evil. He doesn't fawn over the animals like skekTek and his pet, but sees them as employees and pays them in food. 
Unpopular opinion
Poeple say MalVa or SoSu was the dark heart, but I think It’s CANOCICALLY SilSol. The Urskek we follow throughout the Creation Mythis comic is shown to be a singer and has a special song he is very protective of. urSol is also a singer, the chamberlain is always humming to himself. I know this isn’t an unpopular opinion, but I just can’t take anything else as canon.
A wish We get a confirmation he is the dark heart and see more urSol in season 2
An oh-please-dont-ever-happen Don't let the Powers comics be canon!
5 words to best describe them ambitious, arrogant, deceitful, treacherous, slimy
My nickname for them
Smelly Peachberry Man
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guardiandae · 5 years
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how about some cablepool headcanons (im wiggling my eyebrows)
I took some time to think about this, because I’m very bad at headcanons in the sense that my headcanons are either actual canon events and therefore don’t count, or I can’t tell the difference anymore. That said, sorry if some of this contradicts any existing canon, suck it Marvel you ain’t my dad.
Nate wears an apron when he cooks, because it's practical and not at all because it drives Wade nuts.
Wade wears socks in bed (and during sex) because his feet get cold.
Nate prefers not to wear clothes at all (except when he's socially obligated to) but Wade also loves to steal Nate's clothes and wear them, so Nate is torn between 'I don't need this many clothes' and 'I need clothes so I can see Wade wear my clothes'
Wade can recite the entire Bee Movie script involuntarily despite the fact that he's never, as far as he knows, ever seen the movie in his goddamn life.
Nate comes off as 'stoic, joyless bastard' to a lot of other people who do not get him because his sense of humor is mostly dry and morbid wit, delivered with a straight face. Wade is often the only one who not only gets Nate's sense of humor but loses his mind over it. Meanwhile, most people get Wade's jokes, but they choose to ignore him or find him annoying, but Nate not only loves Wade's sense of humor, he shows that love by playing off of Wade's jokes, and the two of them can banter back and forth for ages, which drives any unfortunate bystanders up a wall. See also: flirting.
Nate once almost got arrested for attempting to liberate caged dogs from a puppy mill, because it wasn't considered illegal. The second time, he didn't get caught because Wade helped him out.
Nate and Wade are both banned from almost every fast food restaurant within a 50 mile radius from where they live, but for separate and wildly differing reasons that can (most often than not) both somehow be boiled down to 'causing a scene and threatening the establishment.'
Wade is almost always verbally stimming (making weird noises or sound effects ('Snikt!'), singing and humming to himself, talking about whatever stream of consciousness is in his mind, or just repeating the same word over and over again because he thinks it's neat.) He isn't even aware of how often he's doing this, and most anybody who comes in contact with him for more than ten minutes can't understand how Nate puts up with Wade's constant babbling, but Nate is so used to it, the only thing that bothers him is when it stops for too long.
Nate only pretends to be annoyed by Wade's overwhelming desire and persistent requests to rub him from head to toe with WD-40. The truth is, Wade is ridiculously good with his hands and when Nate is having a bad pain day, a massage really hits the spot. The biggest problem he has with the WD-40 is that he hates the metal parts of himself, and the virus eating away at his body, and he can't reconcile with the idea that Wade finds the metal just as attractive as the rest of him anymore than Wade can believe that Nate really doesn't mind his tumors and scars.
Wade is legitimately one of the smartest people Nate has had the pleasure of knowing, although it takes him a while to fully realize that and appreciate it, because Wade's train of thought usually goes too fast for him to communicate it in any effective way, making whatever he does communicate seem like a maddeningly confusing series of leaps in logic, bordering on psychic premonition, but really it's just because Wade is intuitive as shit and often gets the whole picture before Nate can even put it together.
Nate would absolutely help Wade dispose of a dead body, so long as Wade could look him in the eye and tell him it was for a good reason. He's accepted this and even has several extremely detailed plans ready to go, for various unlikely scenarios (such as, disposing of a dead body in outer space, because this is Wade we’re talking about) but thankfully he's never had to utilize any of his plans.
Nate has gotten into a fistfight with Captain America because he found out that Steve hurt Wade's feelings and he wouldn't apologize for it. Consequently, this is the reason they are both banned from Starbucks.
Wade is also semi-banned from the same Starbucks, but because he once ordered a venti consisting of nothing but espresso shots and sweetener and paid in nickels. The staff were all extremely concerned for his well-being and now politely refuse to sell him anything containing caffeine. 
Wade keeps most of his pouches full of snacks At All Times. Nate also keeps extra snacks for Wade in his pouches, because sometimes Wade forgets he still has food in his (and this is how we get ants!) He also keeps random objects to keep Wade entertained in a pinch, like a slinky, duct tape, and a squish ball.
Usually Nate wakes up first, but when he sleeps in, Wade loves to make him breakfast, even tho his idea of breakfast food is questionable at best. (Porkchops made in the toaster and ham and cheese pancakes anyone?)
Nate is a cuddler.
Wade loves the beauty guru side of youtube, and started his own channel where he applies makeup and falsies onto his mask. Logan once lost a bet and had to appear in a video with Wade and let him give his claws a manicure. He only has 8 subscribers but he thanked all of them with a $10,000 dollar giveaway. Nate was very mad about being behind on rent that month, but it was totally worth it.
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quarantineroulette · 4 years
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Minor Disappointments’ 10 Least Disappointing Releases of 2019
I wasn’t going to compile a 2019 year-end list for a number of reasons (lack of time to listen to new music, general malaise, little time to write), but I’ve read so much bad end of year music writing that I feel like I must either stoke the embers or assist in extinguishing it. I don’t think I’m doing either here, but everyone likes list so here’s another.
I haven’t had time to really think about 2019 in songs but my favorite this year was, no kidding, a Tindersticks song featuring Robert Pattinson. Speaking of...
10) FKA twigs - Magdalene
  I really wish I hadn’t remembered that Pattinson and twigs dated because it put a slight damper on my enjoyment of this album. Instead of appreciating it in all its genre-destroying glory, as I did on my first listen, subsequent spins led to me becoming sidetracked by tabloid speculation over what RPattz must have done to have wronged this very singular artist. So, whether this is your first listen or 50th, forget all that I just wrote and instead let twigs fill your empty mind with her sometimes delicate, sometimes Kate Bush-evoking, wholly epic songs.
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Favorite moment: It’s pretty commendable and bold to place the lead single as the closing track, especially if its something as monumentally gut-wrenching as “Cellophane.” Also, that video is the visual treasure everyone says it is, no fooling. 
9) Weyes Blood - Titanic Rising
If you’ve ever heard Karen Carpenter’s Beatles covers you might have some idea as to what this record is like. But beyond Natalie Mering’s cozy vocals and timeless compositions is an undercurrent of ambient mystery that sets everything ever so slightly askew. At times, Laurel Canyon vibes are completely dispelled for more crepuscular textures, as in the album’s centerpiece, the Julee Cruise-esque “Movies.” Who knows where Mering will go next, but her path, whether from the California sun or glow of the silver screen, is certainly bright. 
Favorite moment:  “A Lot’s Gonna Change”, “Andromeda”, “Everyday” - as strong of a three song run as on any release this year. 
8) Angel Olsen - All Mirrors
The cynic in me wanted to resist this album, but as soon as the cinematic strings kicked in on “Lark” I decided the enormous amount of critical hyperbole that was being thrown at it was mostly warranted. Stately, dramatic, occasionally synthy and largely devastating, All Mirrors taught me that sometimes you may find many of your favorite things in the unlikeliest of places. Please insure your heartstrings. 
Favorite moment: “Spring” which, like a lot of great songs, sounds a little like a fairground ride breaking down. 
7) Danny Brown - uknowhatimsayin¿
This might be the funnest album I’ve listened to all year. It can be hard to do positive but “Best Life” is as heartening as Nardwuar’s interview with Brown and fewer things are happier than that. With his fifth album, Brown has proven he can ably do every mood with aplomb. And if using cleaning references as euphemisms is your poison, then, hell, he can do that too. 
Favorite moment: “Hoes on my dick ‘cos I look like Roy Orbison.” Need I say more?
6) Omni - Networker
One of the strongest post-to-the-nth-degree-punk bands from the latter 2010s, I still have Omni’s 2016 debut, Deluxe, on heavy rotation. Networker, the trio’s third record and first on Sub Pop, has no shortage of twists, turns, technical dexterity, quirk and compositional audacity. Looks like I’ll be overplaying this one too. 
Favorite moment: I could listen to “Courtesy Call” over a hundred times and I still wouldn’t be able to guess what direction it’s going to go in. 
5) Aldous Harding - Designer
��Of all the artists on this list, I find Harding the most inspiring in both her songwriting and her performing style, which is arresting to say the least. The songs on Designer are paradoxically accessible and impenetrable, with seemingly breezy songs like “Weight of the Planets” leaving you with a feeling that’s a cross between a “wow!” and a “huh?”(perhaps a bit like this). Most impressive of all, Harding draws to mind such greats as Nick Drake, Syd Barrett and Nico while always sounding completely like herself. I honestly don’t know what layer of reality Harding is from, but we should all be thankful she’s residing in ours for the time being. 
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Favorite moment: “The Barrel” had been in my YouTube queue for ages; after finally watched it I was left confused, mildly disturbed, amused and completely beguiled. This kookily hatted lady is just semi-dancing in a heavily-draped room for nearly five minutes and it’s the most fascinating video in years. If the video wasn’t entertaining enough, it also happens to have one of the funniest and sweetest comment threads on YouTube. Oh yeah, and the song is brilliant. 
4) Deerhunter - Why Hasn’t Everything Already Disappeared?
Deerhunter have really only misstepped once for me and that was with 2015′s Fading Frontier. Seeing as this is the band’s first full length since then, I had quite a bit of trepidation going in. Of course, a lot can happen in four years and Why Hasn’t Everything... is a thankfully thrilling addition to the band’s canon. Whether it be Cate Le Bon’s production, Bradford’s growing ease as a performer and eccentric, Lockett’s unexpectedly Low-esque "Tarnung,” or all of the above, this may well be Deerhunter’s most consistent release since Halcyon Digest. I’m even slightly tempted to say it’s better than it, but the sacrilege is too great.
Favorite moment: “What Happens to People” -- totally unique to the Deerhunter canon and already a classic. 
3) Lana Del Rey - Norman Fucking Rockwell!!
I never thought I could ever love an album with a Sublime cover on it, but here we are. In all fairness, the inclusion of “Doin’ Time” matters little when the originals on this treatise on Americana is so glorious.  Between the torchiness and the LA-specific witchiness of songs like “Bartender”, there’s not much on here that I’m able to resist. There may still be haters but “The Greatest” drowns them out a little more with each play.  Favorite Moment: “And we were so obsessed with writing the next best American record” - yeah, thank you for doing that.  2) Karen O & Danger Mouse - Lux Prima Truth be told, the first time I listened to this record I cried when it ended because I didn’t want to leave its world. There may have been more radical records by newer artists in 2019, but hearing Karen O doing what she does best, as well as trying many new things, was such a joy to me. I’m probably among only a handful of people who wanted to hear Karen do a straight up disco song in 2019, but we got it and it’s something to be treasured for years to come. To paraphrase Sparks + Franz Ferdinand, collaborations don’t (often) work, but thanks to O’s flawless vocals and Brian Burton’s sometimes Dave Fridmann-esque production, this one is an exception.  Favorite Moment:  I’m tempted to say the whole thing, but “Turn the Light” and “Redeemer” are maybe two of the biggest surprises on an album of many. 
1) Purple Mountains - Purple Mountains 
Purple Mountains is quite possibly a new touchstone in gallows humor. Given David Berman’s suicide less than a month after the record’s release, what should now be a grim and discomfiting listen is so mordant and wry that it somehow overpowers its bleakness. More striking than perhaps even the moments of humor is the album’s tenderness, so beautifully represented in songs like “Snow is Falling in Manhattan” and “I Loved Being My Mother’s Son.” Although it’s undeniably tragic that there will be no more words from Berman, the ones he’s left us with will fascinate and move us for decades to come. 
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Favorite Moment: Unsurprisingly, Berman’s lyrical dexterity on this album is beyond measure. From the internal and slant rhymes in a line like “see the plod of the flawed individual looking for a nod from God” to the layers of meaning in “the light of my life is going out tonight”, the wordsmithery here is mesmerizing. If I had the time, I would gladly write an essay on how Berman used color to further emphasize a point. Thanks for the music, David, but thanks especially for the words. 
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avaantares · 5 years
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TV Shows For Which You’d Sell Your Grandmother To Get Another Season
Okay, maybe no actual sacrificing of matriarchs, but share 10 shows you love that were canceled too soon, and (if you like) why you think they had more story to tell. No minimum tagging requirements (because who even likes chain letters?), but feel free to share your own!
In no particular order:
Remember WENN - This fast-paced, laugh-out-loud funny sitcom about an underfunded 1939 radio station also dealt with love, loss, and war, and beat the “sadcom” trend by twenty years. Each of its four seasons ended on a cliffhanger, the last of which was never resolved. Fans are still petitioning AMC to release the show on video. AMC pretends the series never existed, and refuses to license it for distribution.
Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency - The perfect blend of intellectual and madcap storytelling, with a diverse, lovable cast of characters and mind-bending plot. The second season was clearly setting up for a third, and left numerous open plot threads.
Agent Carter - This Marvel spy drama had some of the tightest writing of any network show during its run, and featured some amazing, complex characters (many of them women). Like many on this list, it ended on a cliffhanger.
Torchwood - After the BBC series was sold out sublet to an American production company for its fourth series (Miracle Day), the focus took a hard turn away from familiar characters and the titular organization in favor of setting up a (thankfully unrealized) American spinoff. This, along with mediocre writing, poor characterization, and a genre shift from sci-fantasy to political thriller, combined to make Miracle Day one of the most loathed entries in the entire Whoniverse canon. The franchise has been continued in audio drama format, but the way the television series ended was, frankly, unforgivable.
Ringer - This suspenseful drama about a woman who assumes her wealthy twin sister’s identity and suddenly finds her life in danger had more twists than a Twizzler, and wasn’t given a chance to resolve the many dangling plot threads. It was canceled after one season.
Better Off Ted - A wacky office comedy with wackier characters. It takes a lot for me to like sitcoms, but this one consistently delivered laughs. It only ran for 26 half-hour episodes.
Firefly - The first of several sci-fi/western mashups on my list, this series had an amazing ensemble cast and some really great writing. It lasted only half a season. The story continued in a movie and comics, but they didn’t have the same long-term scope for worldbuilding and character development.
The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. - This camp, early-1990s sci-western starring Bruce Campbell was a delightful homage to classic movie serials and B movies. Its one season didn’t exactly end on a cliffhanger, but it didn’t have a chance to explore the full story, either.
Legend - Yet another 1990s sci-western, this one starring Richard Dean Anderson in a post-MacGyver rebound, featured a half-drunk dime novelist and a Nikola Tesla-like inventor teaming up to bring the writer’s heroic fictional character to life. It lasted only half a season.
The Wild Wild West - The original sci-western TV series (widely credited with the invention of steampunk) featured wise-cracking heroes, camp villains, hard-hitting fist fights and James Bond-esque gadgets in a color-saturated, semi-fantastic version of the 1870s. Sadly, CBS threw it under the bus in a PR nod to public concerns about violence on television.
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europeanguy · 5 years
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Gotta Gogh [Part 5.2: From Cordonia]
Pairing: Nadia x Maxwell
Words: 2.3k
Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergence, Crossovers, time skips and POV changes, cheesy lines and a sprinkle of angst… maybe
Your brother is the Duke, he manages the duchy of Ramsford and the estate, he has people relying on him and people who trust him, he makes sure that House Beaumonts’ legacy doesn’t go up in flames – where do you fit in?
Where do I fit in?
The limo hits some bumps in the road, and Maxwell hits his head on something weirdly shaped. He comes to a few seconds later, realizing he’s been dozing off on his brother’s shoulder. Bertrand isn’t too fussed, he’s too busy reading something on his iPad. How Bertrand could read in a moving vehicle, he will never understand. He switches it off, uttering something about ‘needing coffee and do you want some?’. But Maxwell knows that his older brother is just being gentle on him, too gentle that it makes his mind race thinking about the worst possible case scenarios. Could all of Ramsford have burned down? Did anyone they know die? Did he get somebody pregnant?
Or maybe it’s just because Bertrand had found him with semi-wet clothes and damp, red, eyes – this sad, sad being that entered through the doors of their house in the capital.
Maxwell shakes his head no to the coffee, then shoves a hand in his pocket to make sure its still there. He traces its rounded edges, feeling its carvings press indents into his skin. And it’s a little bit comforting. He takes it out and looks at this cartoony miniature of the Eiffel Tower, bronze, with “Paris” written across the length of it in big bold words.
He and Nadia had laughed at the tackiness of it all. And yet they wore matching t-shirts proudly saying “Bonjour!”.
So, she bought one of the pocket-sized Eiffel Towers when he wasn’t looking.
Maxwell rolls his shoulders and straightens up, getting stiff in the seats. Bertrand preferred the limo when traveling to Ramsford because of that much needed leg-room, but the carpets and the plush seats made Maxwell feel like the air is being crushed out of the space. Bertrand clears his throat and scoots near the mini-fridge, looking for the cold-brew cans they kept stocked in there with the champagne.
They weren’t going to talk about it.
It must be dragging close to 10 am by now since they left at dawn, and Nadia’s probably already in New York. He can sleep away the rest of the day, judging by how nicely Bertrand has been treating him.
The thing is, Nadia knew him well enough to know that he wouldn’t keep his promise. And so Maxwell found out through the other students living on her floor – Nadia left the day before. Her door was unlocked, the room left empty except for the furniture that came with it. And then he found it, the mini Eiffel Tower miniature, on the bed. He didn’t know if he wanted to cry or laugh as he picked it up. Nadia knew he thought the touristy trinkets were ugly.
What Maxwell realized in Paris is that he’s kind of really fucked. That Nadia is extraordinary, and he loves her.
“We’re almost here.” Bertrand says, sipping his coffee. He grimaces lightly, no wonder in need of a real cup soon. Maxwell nods, knowing that it’s a prompt for him to fix himself before meeting with the main house’s staff.
The limo turns down the road that leads to the vast manor he grew up in. The driveway is long and lined with trees, much like the main palace. He has time to brush back his hair – still feeling weird about its shortness – straighten his clothes, and rub the sleep away from his eyes.
After exchanging a polite welcome with the main house staff, Maxwell has disappeared off to his room in no time – and without any complaints from Bertrand at all, who simply asked him to be present at dinner at six. He tosses off his jacket and toes off his shoes, throwing himself on the bed face-down. His mother would always scold him about wearing outside clothes to bed. Maxwell squeezes his eyes shut, waiting for sleep to come – but it doesn’t.
Nadia never did say anything about not calling.
-
Nadia taps the metal ferrule of her brush repeatedly against the paint thinner can’s brim, shaking off the excess. She’s not sure how much time she’s sat there staring at the painting that never seems to be finished.
Back in New York, and she’s literally watching paint dry.
Sighing, she takes the brush again and scrapes it on the drying blob of blue paint, hardly picking up any pigment at first but eventually it gives and seeps through the strands, bright and blue. Blue.
Stop. Have a break. Nadia decides to leave the brush on the container beside the easel and stands up, feeling the strain on her back and her legs as she stretches. Quickly, Nadia opens her window to let the paint and thinner fumes out – she always forgets to, which is why she’s convinced that someday she would inhale too much and just drop dead. Then she cleans up all the candy wrappers (Gran will find out soon enough that she ate all the decorations for the gingerbread house), turns off the lights, and finally collapses on her bed, limbs splayed out – and she sighs, letting her eyes close.
It’s illogical how she hasn’t been able to sleep yet after spending a long-haul flight watching all the romcom movies available and crying. Crying is exhausting. Turns out dramatic airport goodbyes were just for movie screens – and thank god for that. A sharp pang of guilt shoots through her for lying to Maxwell. But he’s stubborn, and Nadia knew he would still try to see her off anyway.
She rolls over and sniffs the soothing smell of fresh sheets, the same old brand of detergent that her grandma always used. Their grandparents’ apartment in New York is small, but it had just enough space for the four of them for when she and Kai visited over the break. It had a small balcony for an herb garden that only their Grandpa cared for. From outside, the light pollution of the city gives casts a bluish glow in tall shadows across her room. It’s closing in on five in the morning, the sunrise late in mid-December but she can see the faint colors of dawn starting to show in the sky.
Her phone rings underneath a pillow somewhere, its muffled sounds making her heart race the longer she leaves it. Her restraint snaps, and she jumps off her bed to rummage through her room for the damned phone. Finally, she finds it underneath an orange throw pillow. She tosses the pillow away and reads the caller ID.
-
You’re not being silly, Maxwell. All this pressure and expectations, they’re insane and being compared to your brother must hurt.
Maxwell picks at his cufflinks – gold with a monogrammed MB. Bertrand hadn’t mentioned that the six pm dinner would be with a fund manager, an estate agent, and the way too slick and smart Chief of Staff; essentially Bertrand’s right-hand man and the one he would sort of replace in the near future. He wouldn’t be taken off the payroll, of course, but he had always been critical of Maxwell and his lack of involvement in estate issues. They all formally wait in line to shake hands with the Duke and his brother.
But I know your brother loves you, and he’s proud of you and all of your achievements.
It still scares Maxwell how charming his brother could be. He lags behind Bertrand and watches him exchange fond greetings with their company. Bertrand turns towards Maxwell and beckons him towards them. His heart swells when Bertrand pats his back reassuringly as he shakes their hands.
He fits here. Right?
I know what it’s like to not feel accepted or competent – but Maxwell, this is your purpose.
Maxwell doesn’t try to dazzle them with whatever he learned that semester, it would be fruitless since these people have been doing this long enough to differentiate the fluff from substance. Instead he sits quietly for once, listening and trying to absorb as much as he could – to no avail. All he can think of was that call.
You’re amazing, intelligent, and caring, and you deserve much more praise. Your brother understands this more than anyone.
You’re starting to sound like my mother and it’s scaring me.
Why do you always joke?
But she laughed. Her laugh sounded like music to his ears, even though it was in bad quality, crackling audio over a phone. Maxwell is broken out of his trance when the first course is served. Bertrand could tell he’s still completely distracted – although thankfully not as miserable as when he had found him.
I can’t handle it, it’s getting too emotional. He reaches into his pocket again to feel the little Eiffel Tower. I didn’t know how I was supposed to let you go.
That’s why I made that decision for you.
Bertrand and the others launch into a deep conversation about estate issues. Maxwell picks at his food, focusing more on the sound of the clatter of silverware against china. Has it really been one whole semester?
Yeah. It was way too quick. I used to wonder a lot if coming to Cordonia was some huge mistake. Since, you know, I didn’t exactly fit in,
He’s not entirely sure that he fits in here too. He tries, he really does. And he wants to help Bertrand who seemed like he aged ten years from all the stress of being a duke.
But Maxwell liked to think of him and Nadia as pieces of the puzzle that come from two different boxes. They had somehow found each other and clicked perfectly. It’s nonsensical, but it happened. It’s where he fits in.
Then I met you and all that went out the window. I was right where I was supposed to be.
Maxwell keeps replaying that part in his head. He took a moment to answer, willed the seconds to slow down.
He remembered everything, it pressed at him, insistent and waiting.
I love you, Nadia.
Nadia yawned softly on the other line, and then all he could hear after that was her faint breathing. Maxwell is brought back to the present, and he closes his eyes to imagine her face under the soft yellow glow of the streetlamps in Paris – wondering what if.
End
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EPILOGUE
Maxwell steps outside the limo in some street that he vaguely remembers – he could only hope it’s the right one. He tells his driver to come back in a while and smooths down his black button-down shirt, the begins to walk up the strangely quiet street. Well, relatively quiet compared to the rest of New York.
He needed this peace after what just happened, waking up with his mouth feeling like it was stuffed with cotton and a pounding headache. As the one morning person in the group, of course he’s the first to wake up – even though it’s already way past the afternoon. The boys back at their suite sleepily complained about all the noise he made while in the shower.
Ha! “Noise”. Excuse you, I was singing.
After Liam disappeared with the waitress, the rest of the boys decided to fuck off and blow some cash away at the nearest high-end club they could find. He doesn’t remember how they ended up at some rooftop party full of hipsters and catching wind of a familiar name in their conversations. Some rising star in the art world. An art show in Brooklyn. Here’s the address.
-
“Nadia! Hey!”
Nadia turns and spots her cousin, Kai, among the crowd. She quickly excuses herself to pass through all the people – it’s still crazy to think about just how much her work blew up.
“You made it!” She envelops Kai in a tight hug, and holds her at arm’s length. “So? What do you think?”
Kai scans the room with an appreciative look on her face. “Are you kidding? This is insane. I’m so proud of you.”
“Not the show!” Nadia gestures at herself. “Do I look okay?”
Kai laughs. “You look like an artist with a popping art show and not to mention a fat bank account after all this.”
“What?”
“She’s saying you look fine and that we promise to step in once you start unironically wearing… berets.” Damien suddenly claps a reassuring hand on Nadia’s shoulder, holding a drink on the other. His wrinkles his nose at someone who passes by wearing a bejeweled beret.
“You’re so judgmental!” Kai stifles a laugh with her hand.
Damien shrugs and takes a gulp from his drink. “So, who do I have to beat up this time?”
“Ugh, stop it.” Nadia rolls her eyes, but smiles fondly at Damien’s over-protectiveness. “His name is Steve and you guys have to promise me that you’ll be nice.”
Kai nods. “That’s mostly directed towards you, Damien.”
“I’ll be nice, alright.” Damien frowns. “I’m just saying- it’s weird that he’s an investment banker who also happens to be a baker, volunteers at animal shelters, and his name is Steve.”
“What do you have against Steves?” Nadia laughs.
“Yeah! Steves are generally nicer than Damiens!” Kai shares a conspiratorial smile with Nadia.
Damien downs the rest of his drink. “I didn’t ask to be ganged up on like this.”
Nadia’s phone rings and her whole face lights up. “Uh oh, I think he’s outside but he’s not sure which one it is.”
Kai shoots Damien a be nice glare as Nadia excuses herself to go to the entrance. Her heart pounds with excitement as she walks. A cold gust of wind greets her as she pushes open the door, and comes face to face with – Maxwell Beaumont.
She feels like all the air has been knocked out of her lungs as Maxwell looks back at her, shocked.
“…hi.”
FACTS THAT ARE DECIDEDLY NOT FUN BECAUSE THESE ARE JUST DISGUISED AUTHOR’S NOTES also I am sad
-        So it ended! FINALLY!
-        No joke it was so difficult to end this series despite it only having a few chapters. It went through rewrites upon rewrites and even me deleting a WHOLE alternate ending wherein Nadia doesn’t leave early.
-        They don’t end up together in both endings but I have greatly considered just throwing all my plans out the window and have Maxwell follow Nadia to New York. Ah… now wouldn’t that be nice.
-        Nadia literally slept on Maxwell lolol get it
-        If anyone would want to see the draft of the alternate ending I can drop you the google docs link.
-        The epilogue happens on the first chapter of both books where they’re BOTH in New York; Nadia has her art exhibit, and the TRR boys are at the “bachelor” party. Again, I changed what happened in each bc… I can.
 -        Big thanks to @pixieferry who motivated me endlessly to write and her unwavering support, and to @littlecrookedheart for basically greasing the stuck gears (this is a weird phrase) in my brain that finally got me to writing this ending, I appreciate all her help (even the kill someone and Andy cameo suggestions)
- Thank you also to everyone who stuck by this story. I’m so so so happy that I finished it, and I’m so grateful for your patience. This is the first and last fic I will post on this account because I made a separate blog for fics (that’s pretty empty as of now).
tag list: @littlecrookedheart, @femmeshep, @brightpinkpeppercorn, @zaffrenotes, @teamtomsato, @pixieferry
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rcsebloom · 5 years
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BASIC INFO. ( most is hc based! ) 
NAME. amy dilayna rose AGE. 14 years old GENDER. female SEXUALITY. bisexual demiromantic HEIGHT. 2'9" WEIGHT. 85-95 lbs BIRTHDAY. september 15th ZODIAC. virgo VOICECLAIM. l/isa ortiz ( from sonic x ) APPEARANCE. -  freckles across the bridge of her nose / muzzle, shoulders, the back of neck. - she has furry paws, as well as small fangs / sharp canines, & also she has toebeans. - her ears are a bit curved rather than pointy. - her hair is way shorter, going only as far as behind her neck. - amy is based off an albino hedgehog with a semi-lighter pink color. ( like the color code; #FFDBE9 )
BACKSTORY.
for 8 years of amy's childhood, she was only raised by her mother whom she grown very close to throughout most of her life  but, one day her mother went missing without a word. she only left one thing for amy; two golden bracelets. ( some more info about that here. ) with that, amy was set on a mission -- to find her mother. before the mysterious disappearance, her mother mentioned a certain blue heroic hedgehog so amy figured that he may be able to help however something stopped her, she was taken away by metal sonic & thankfully was saved by the before-mentioned hero. she was going to ask for help like she intended but her own feelings got in the way and she fell in love with him and when she was 12, decided to change into a hero of her own. as of present day, she has still no luck with finding her mother, though she stays optimistic and she does her best to keep everyone safe a long side her best friends.
SMALL, MOSTLY UNRELATED HEADCANONS.
due to losing her mother, she had developed major abandonment issues and mild anxiety cannot stand being alone for too long. she also refuses to tell her problems to her friends as well.
amy currently does have a job in a nearby cafe! she works with making treats for them and has high hopes of starting her own cafe in the future.
some hobbies amy has is planting flowers, listening to music, watching romantic movies, hanging out with friends, and many other things.
amy had also learned to respect sonic's personal space and hardly chases him around unless it's for important reasons. she’s also fine with just staying friends.
amy has ADHD and is very prone to daydreaming, rambling when nervous & has a very hard time focusing.
sonic media i personally consider canon in amy's lore: unleashed, 06 ( memories are limited. ), adventure 1&2, generations, sonic battle, and sonic x
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moistwithgender · 5 years
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Media Roundup (February 2019)
I wanted to try and squeeze in one last finished show into the last day but I ended up having a really bad sleep schedule hiccup. Anyway, here’s what I finished this month:
Games:
This is actually the shortest list this month, on account of me mostly playing through a single game somewhat slowly. If you follow my posts, you might be able to guess what series it’s a part of.
Super Robot Wars EX (SNES): At the end of the previous post I warned that if you want to get into SRW, SRW2 is an extremely rough starting point, even though it’s canon to the four or five original SRW canon games mostly on the SNES. Thankfully, there is a youtube video that shows you all the dialogue and combat snippets from SRW2. That said... if I wanted to stick hard to canon, I would have either played SRW3 first, or waited for the incoming re-fan-translation that will drop probably at the end of March. BUT, I wanted to play SRW and not jump to a game so far ahead that the mechanics alienate me to the earlier games, so I started EX. EX is largely a contained side story that takes place in and revolving around the original properties of SRW canon. Said original properties involve La Gias, the world that exists inside of planet Earth, and a three-sided war involving mechs that run on magic. There’s a lot of politics and strategic talk and fantasy worldbuilding grounded in fantasy science and it’s actually really fucking cool. They take the time to explain how due to a (magical) scientific phenomena, prophecies are always accurate in La Gias (yet preventable with the right effort), which is exactly the kind of bullshit I love.
However, due to summoning rituals, the setting is also flooded with “Surface Dwellers”, AKA people from different mecha anime who have been written into a melting pot setting that contains all their narratives (sometimes cleverly tweaked to allow and complement each other). This isn’t just a hand wave, but worked into big plot points. It is genuinely stunning how much the creators of these games actually tend to give a shit about making these narratives believable and interesting. I say “believable”, though it’s also worth noting that, as with manipulated inclusion of various IPs, canon is general is somewhat malleable in SRW. There are usually multiple plot options in the games, and EX features a unique system with three separate campaigns that, depending on the order you play them, and also depending on the choices you make and how well you play, change the sequence of events in other campaigns as they weave into each other. It’s not handled amazingly, and to see everything, you may play the campaigns some three times each. I don’t really have that kind of patience, because these early SRW games are also sufficiently challenging games. While not nearly as bullshit as SRW2, EX features a fair amount of incentive to save and reset for better RNG, and you might spend an hour or longer on later maps because situations get really tight. EX is also considered one of the easier early games (phew). Despite that, the maps are almost all really enjoyable, you just have to be willing to work for your victory at times.
The writing, with much credit going to the stellar fan translation imo, is also a compelling read, and dialogue is frequently hilarious despite how much it also focuses on political intrigue and fatal drama. The “hard” campaign (at times equally or less difficult than the “intermediate” campaign) has you playing one of the main series antagonists, whose right hand minions include an oujosama who openly talks about how horny she is, a princess with hardcore stockholm syndrome (or is it?), and a semi incompetent little blue bird as a psychic familiar. A running gag is them chastising each other for using rude words. These characters have apparently been popular enough to reappear even in the modern titles, which largely are self-contained timelines of their own, with their own canonical tweaks.
Last point I want to touch on (this single game just has so much to it) is that playing this game out of order is interesting in how canon is referenced. In most self-contained-stories-in-greater-narratives, you’ll get somewhat forced exposition drops when a character is (re-)introduced. Most of these games so far tend to treat pre-existing characters on the same ground as OCs, where a character doesn’t say, for example “yo I’m goku I come from earth and I’m a super saiyan”, but kind of just realistically reacts to the scenario as per their characterization. If you learn more about them, it’s mostly via seeing them interact with other heroes or villains from their own canon (though later games include library bios to catch you up if you want). While this creates an interesting experience where, if you don’t know a series, you get that curious feeling of walking in on the middle of something, but instead from the beginning. The most interesting aspect of this, and what I consider the defining aspect of the game’s storytelling, is that the same delivery is used with the original characters. From the get-go, the original characters in SRW EX talk about other elements the way real people do, without vaguely audience-oriented exposition. Some people won’t like this, but it makes it feel much more real to me, and complements my recent exploration of the breadth of mecha, where I know a ton of names and have very little context, and slowly accumulate context as I go along. It’s a lot of little micro-mysteries. EX didn’t start this, either. SRW2, which is both the first SRW with a plot or even dialogue, introduces the main OC of SRW, Masaki and his Cybuster, who has a lot of his own lore, and tells almost none of it. You are left for the entirety of SRW2 to only grasp the fringes of what Masaki’s story is, and when he says “hey I’m actually leaving now in the middle of the game because I have my own plot bye” you just deal with that. SRW establishes that the world is way bigger than you, even though the core concept of the series is rooted in fanservice. Now, part of this is that Banpresto and Winkysoft probably had a big MCU-style plan from the beginning (cough most ambitious crossover in history cough), because, well, look at this release timeline and associated narrative chronology:
-Super Robot Wars (Game Boy, April 1991) No plot, or dialogue, but establishes the Big Three (Gundam, Getter, Mazinger) as playable characters and has the kaiju villain from an old 70s Getter+Mazinger crossover movie as the final boss. The pilots don’t exist, the robots are all apparently sentient beings. -The 2nd Super Robot Wars (NES, December 1991) Beginning of plot, introduces a proper antagonist (Bian Zoldak), an antagonist force he leads (Divine Crusaders), light political intrigue, Masaki Andoh and his nemesis Shu Shirakawa are established vaguely while having a separate plot that is not explained. IMAGINE juking your audience with your own main character like that. He doesn’t serve as protagonist yet but is clearly, like, the most important OC? Bian and Shu even serve as the final bosses and you don’t even know who Shu really is. The kaiju villain from before comes back for a single map and evolves into a stronger form unique to the game. The heroes from SRW1 also all acknowledge that SRW1 happened and they know each other. This establishes that you cannot rely on canon. -The 3rd Super Robot Wars (SNES, July 1993) Haven’t played yet but I hear this is where they really started playing with canon. Mixes the Divine Crusaders plot with the plot of the original Gundam series. Multiple endings exist now, and plot regularly splits into dual branches. -Super Robot Wars EX (SNES, March 1994) Here’s where it starts to get complicated. This focuses on Masaki’s setting, while continuing off of SRW3′s plot. Elements introduced here will continue to be referenced in SRW4 (the ending screen even explicitly states that, which reinforces my idea they planned this all years in advance). Multiple campaigns with malleable canon means nothing is concrete ever again. -The 4th Super Robot Wars (SNES, March 1995) Campaign now splits into Super Robot (Getter, Mazinger) and Real Robot (Gundam) routes, which is easier to handle. This game finishes up the “Classic” SRW timeline, but would also canonically be replaced by two remakes on the PS1 (SRW F (1997) and F Final (1998). However... -Super Robot Wars Gaiden: Masoukishin - The Elemental Lords (SNES, March 1996) Masaki gets his own game five years later, beginning his narrative. This game has no mecha IPs, and is exclusively OCs. The most complicated aspect is that this game is split into two chapters: the first, at the start of Masaki’s story, and the second, which... if I have this correct, follows after EX and SRW4. The previous games have, supposedly, been referencing this game that has not existed until now, and this game references what has come before. Playing SRW feels like being lost in linear time. This game starts off its own timeline of games that, I hope, stay confined to the OC-centric games. 
So here’s the timeline:
First half of SRW Gaiden SRW2 (loosely referencing SRW1) SRW3 SRW EX SRW4 Second half of SRW Gaiden
As a result...I can never be comfortable writing a suggested order of play. In playing these games, you simply must accept that the world is bigger than you, and at all times you will be an outsider to some degree. You know, until you’ve played all of them. Which you can’t yet, because they aren’t all translated yet.
Phew! That’s a lot of words about Classic Timeline SRW, and I’ve only played through two games. Thanks for reading all of that, I hope it kept your interest. Despite how complicated that got, EX is a great game and easily in my top SNES RPGs now, up there with Live A Live and Dragon Quest V. Let’s move on for god sake!
Oh, right. Almost forgot: (SRW EX: Masaki’s Chapter: Beaten 2/9/19) (SRW EX: (One of the two versions of) Lune’s Chapter: Beaten 2/15/19) (SRW EX: Shu’s Chapter: Beaten 2/20/19)
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Fun fact: In EX, if you use a cheat code on the title screen to play through Shu’s route with a suped-up absurd final boss-strength version of his mech, and run into one of the other protagonists, then when you later play as that other protagonist, you’ll have to fight the cheat version of that mech as a boss.
Orbital Paladin Melchior Y (PC): I had to play something else this month, and because I’m trapped in a fugue state, I made it something mecha related. Melchior Y is a small, hour-long visual novel/shoot em up made by John D. Moore, who I know mostly as a_new_duck from the selectbutton.net forums. I’m... not gonna have as many paragraphs to talk about this, or anything, as I did with SRW EX, so if he sees this I hope he doesn’t take that as a negative. Reportedly, this has multiple routes, though as of this writing I’ve only played one of those. I don’t know if that means multiple endings! I liked it for the small gamejam game it is, though. John is an academic and a mecha fan (and did his thesis on mecha, iirc) and so this is reasonably an introspective mecha story focused on children conscripted for space war purely for their utility, and adults who boss them around despite no longer being allowed to pilot once they hit the very beginnings of adulthood. It gets dark! A smaller positive about it is the matter-of-fact inclusion of queer identity, comfortably existing alongside religion without having to immediately make the plot about the conflict between those (at least in the route I played). I enjoyed it, and if you have the patience to explore artier games that aren’t polished AAA cash houses, you might gain something from it too. Here’s a link if you’re curious, it’s currently free.
Anime:
Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai: I already wrote about this last time, oops! Still, despite a couple stumbling points, this is fun character-driven supernatural lit, and if you’re mad at Persona games for bad political takes, then this... at least this doesn’t have those! The funniest thing about the series is that the bunny outfit is easily removable from the plot and barely relevant past the first couple episodes. (13 episodes, finished 2/5/19, Crunchyroll/Hulu)
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Punch Line: I actually went in expecting something akin to the sort of wackiness I remember way back when FLCL was fresh. I didn’t get that, necessarily. What I did get was (as I would discover after I wiki’d it later) a fucking Kotaro Uchikoshi story. That’s not a bad thing, but if I had gone in knowing that, I would have been prepared. Uchikoshi writes light novels. Extremely convoluted, mysterious, non-linear light novels. As I was watching this show, I actually thought the whole time “is this a fucking light novel adaptation?” It wasn’t, but it was by the guy who wrote Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors (one of my favorite DS games), and Ever17: The Out of Infinity (probably one of the most miserable game experiences I’ve ever had), and I was easily identifying his particular brand of storytelling. There is a LOT that can be said about his style, but I’ll try to keep it short with a paraphrased example (don’t @ me if this doesn’t explicitly describe any one of his plots, it’s close enough). He likes to tell stories that start as quirky or high-concept, but somewhat mundane, skip a scene at one point, and then progress until you suddenly hit a big plot point that turns everything on its head and, in my experiences, causes things to immediately end tragically. Then you see the scene you missed. The scene held a plot point literally so important that it completely changes what the story was ever about. From then on you are fed a trickle of left-field plot twists until eventually the plot is unrecognizable from how it started. His work is as stupid as it is clever, and he’s got the strongest grasp of continuity I’ve ever seen a human being have. This is the polar opposite of SRW’s “fuck canon” philosophy, and that’s not for the worse on either account. Punch Line starts as a story about a boy who dies, becomes a ghost, and then has to figure out... something? (I should clarify I watched all of this overnight while not sleeping as as the story built more and more upon itself I had to fight to keep following it) BUT ALSO, if he sees panties twice, he’ll accidentally destroy the earth. Those details are, like, one percent of the secret plot that the show is built upon, and by the end when the wacky dorm sitcom has become a full blown world war with government conspiracies, I was like “wait why is that girl a superhero again?” Everybody deserves to experience an Uchikoshi story once, just for the wild novelty of it. I don’t think this is his best work (I think 999 is better), but it perfectly exemplifies his style.
Also, I spent the full binge watch (which I rarely do) thinking it was a visual novel adaptation. Absolutely convinced. But, it turns out that, no, he just writes like he’s making a VN game. The “panties = genocide” concept is so obviously a choose-your-own adventure mechanic that I thought it had to be. On the bright side, an actual VN adaptation later came out, and even came out in English on the PS4. And they added in apparently ten episodes’ worth of significant extra plot, so I might play that.
Also, it’s called Punch Line because in Japanese it sounds like “panty line.” That’s it. Also maybe it’s referencing plot twists, or mortality, idk. (12 eps, finished 2/6/19, Crunchyroll/Hulu/HIDIVE)
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Mobile Suit Gundam II: Soldiers of Sorrow (Movie): A month later, I finally got around to the rest of Gundam 0079. I think I might like this movie best of the three, even if it does feature a lot of character death is kind of a downer at times (granted, that’s kind of most of Tomino’s work isn’t it). This movie is where most of Kai Shiden’s character development occurs, and it’s nice to see his go from a bastard to a sympathetic, uh, bastard. He’s terrible and my son. (Finished 2/9/19)
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Mobile Suit Gundam III: Encounters in Space (Movie): You know I really like the original Gundam in concept, and even execution, but sometimes I’m chewing through it. Even when boiled down to the compilation episodes I’m just pushing through at times. I mean, I think part of that is my burnout and executive dysfunction issues preventing me from fully enjoying things, but it could also just be that I’m baby. This was the movie I liked the least, despite having some of the best moments in the series. The final showdown is genuinely incredible, and there’s probably a lot of essays out there discussing the recurring theme in Gundam of invoking the figure of Newtypes, while also regularly denying being one (even to oneself!) after engaging in a lot of telepathy. My problem with MSG3 is that they packed the most plot points into this one, and it gets to a point where it was hard for me to follow. Mirai goes through two separate love triangles, and a huge tactic (bordering on the severity of a war crime) happens and then is iterated on in such a small amount of time that I actually lost track of who had it and how I was supposed to feel about it. If I were to rewatch it, I might grasp it better. I spent this movie feeling like I should have just watched the 50 odd episodes instead, for the sake of comprehension. Idk! Hate to end this on a negative note, because this series has layered characterization, complex examinations of war, the things people do in war, and the ways that war changes people, and also cool robots. It’s probably something you can revisit multiple times and gain new value from each time. (2/15/19)
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Mobile Suit Gundam: The 08th MS Team: Guess who watched this on Adult Swim a long time ago and almost totally forgot! This series is amazing and probably going to stay my favorite Gundam series. The animation is consistently beautiful and consistently had me comparing it stylistically to Cowboy Bebop, from the body language to the lavish mechanical displays to the character writing to the excellent english dub. The US got it ater it was complete, but the original airing of it was spread out over three and a half years, and given how flawless it is, I can understand why. If you’ve have a spot in your heart specifically for watching the switch axe change shape in Monster Hunter, you’re gonna lose it watching them do maintenance in this show. Character-wise, while 0079 was about watching whiny teens complain and break protocol on a regular basis, 08th MS Team is as much about living army life as it is about going on missions. There’s soldier superstition, there’s writing to girlfriends back home, there’s complaining about staking out in the desert for five days. I haven’t watched MASH, but the things I have heard about it make me link the two. 08th MS Team is also about a super unfortunate star-crossed love between people on opposite sides of the war. This plot element is a recurring one even back in 0079, but here it feels the most heart-wrenching, and with the very weighty and believable mech combat (it’s so pretty, good god), I was constantly worried about the well-being of all the characters, Fed and Zeon (except for Ginias). If you have any interest in anything, you have to watch this. I’m not good at selling things.
I watched all of this when Hulu was threatening to remove it, but now it appears to still be up? Uh, so go watch it I guess. Oh fuck, right, I almost forgot. The last episode of this is so bad they didn’t even air it on TV in the US. It’s tangentially related to the plot, claims to be about the main characters but instead centers on two side characters and like six new ones, has zero character development, has comparatively/definitively awful animation, relies entirely on misdirection towards the viewer to keep the plot barely hanging together, and has no satisfying payoff. Thankfully, it’s sort of an omake episode, and you can completely skip it. (12 eps (minus 1), finished 2/20/19, Hulu)
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I can’t find a decent HQ poster so have this you filthy animal.
A Place Further Than The Universe: It’s not about robots! Wait. Is it about robo--it’s not about robots! I had heard about this show for a while, it was almost universally agreed upon by everyone that follows seasonal anime to be easily the best show of all of 2018. And wow they were not kidding around about that. APFTTU (oh god that acronym) is about four high school girls who decide to go to Antarctica. It is a feelgood comedy with occasional ventures into very real drama, and is rooted very realistically. The show is semi(?)-educational with the attention it gives to showing how real life expeditions work, while also liberally flowing into the poetry of the concept and experience of such a thing. The four girls are all hilarious and innocent without being cloying and, and this is the most important part, without being written with voyeuristic appeal. It is not off-base to have concern for the ways in which a significant number of female cast anime are written with intent to appeal to lonely men who want to feel a safe ownership of something innocent and attractive. It’s not all of them, but it’s a significant amount. Male gaze exists even in the lesbian shows, it’s something you sometimes have to roll with. Here, however, these girls are fully realized and believable, it is obvious that they are developing people, and that is treated as its own value, not as something to covet. If you’re lookin’ at thighs in here, that is your problem, and I’m calling God. A subplot that comes up involves a guy who gets a crush on one of the older women, and he tries to make it about his narrative and is immediately shot down by the whole cast, because this isn’t a vehicle for his romantic conquest. This isn’t anyone’s romantic conquest, really. It is significant to me to say, “this is an anime I could show to my mom and not be worried about.” I know I just said 08th MS Team was required watching for everyone, but A Place Further Than The Universe is required watching. (13 eps, finished 2/26/19, Crunchyroll)
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Giant Gorg: At some point I picked this out to watch on CR without any prompting. Wait, I had one prompt. I knew nothing about this show except I think for seeing it on a short list of tumblr user @lightningclone’s favorite anime. It kind of floors me that this came out a year before Zeta Gundam and has way way better animation. Granted, Zeta has twice the episodes, which might be a big factor. The defining trait of this show is probably way it unravels itself, focusing for multiple episodes on exploring what of the great mystery of Austral Island and Gorg has been established to the audience, before revealing something more an deliberately taking it’s time as it takes you to the next reveal. The reveals don’t feel like twists, because a twist comes out of nowhere and sidelines you. The reveals here feel organic, and expected, but all the same compelling. Another good trait of the show is the characterization. Everyone fits into a very different role both in terms of personality and function, they all have their own motivations, and they all complement each other in unique ways. Also, this show has an Usopp. Back before Usopp was a thing. He’s Dr. Wave, and he’s the best character. 
If I have any criticism for the show, it all comes at the end. Near the end a character does a heel turn that, while a little twisty, is hinted in the beginning of the show, and in his heel turn the writers go a bit overboard and have him commit some sexual violence that goes on for an intentionally uncomfortable amount of time, and features frontal nudity. I know we’re supposed to think “oh god he’s a horrible person actually,” but 1) the main character is a child, I kind of expected this to lean family friendly with the occasional dark element (ignoring all the hilarious New York graffiti at the start that says FUCK in several places because America), but... okay! And 2) the stakes rise to a point by the next episode that the characters, including the victim of that violence, all just shrug it off, like whatever! The character is even redeemed by the end, which I wouldn’t mind if the betrayal itself was less physical. It’s a bit much for me, and I wish they hadn’t done it. Aside from that, I feel like the ending itself is a bit anticlimactic, but everything up to these two points had been so solid that I still think it was worth the watch. Worth it if you like mystery, adventure, and big robots, but worth bearing in mind the trigger warning for near the end. (26 eps, finished 2/27/19, Crunchyroll)
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Manga:
Shin Mazinger Zero Vols 1-3:
[Serious Content Warning For Everything]
Shin Mazinger Zero is reprehensible garbage and I hate it. While inspired by Go Nagai and intentionally over-the-top, the absurdity is juvenile, offensive, and often just empty. Now, it may seem hypocritical of me to complain about transgression in something based on Nagai’s works, but I genuinely don’t find this transgressive, just extremely self-indulgent of toxic masculine fantasies, both sexual and violent. It has interesting ideas, about how Mazinger is both a tool possible of great good or great evil (literally the mission statement in every Mazinger work), and it wants to explore alternate timelines to see how characters can be corrupted or overcome corruption. The visual of a demonic Mazinger is genuinely pretty rad.
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...Okay maybe he’s not, he’s kind of overdesigned. I like the toothy grill, though.
The problem with that exploration of corruption is that sometimes a character is just a horrible monster for no reason, without much explanation (so far?) for how that comes to be. Maybe in volume 4 they’ll get more into that, since they are currently in flashback mode, so there’s no undoing the damage.
Anyway, female characters so far are hypersexualized and submissive or motherly, or hypersexualized and, like, totally unreasonable. The hot robot girl sat on my lap in her underwear and did sex moans, why are you mad, main love interest? Men are testosterone as FUCK. The hero is constantly yelling to the point of visual distortion, no matter how the drama of the scene is being portrayed. The old man villain Dr. Hell is, for some reason, jacked as hell, and in the backstory to the main timeline (it’s all post-apoc) he shows his superiority over everyone by crushing Not Obama’s balls in his grip. I know exactly the kind of dude that would find this appealing and that’s the kind of person I avoid.
Honestly I knew this series was going to be a trashfire from square one and just kept reading out of morbid curiosity. The story starts in media res at the end of the world, with sexy girl robot disintegrating the hero so his soul can go back in time and try the timeline again. Okay, sure, I’m on board. Immediately next we’re shown what I would assume is The One Timeline To Get It Right, after establishing that there have been thousands of timelines where the hero is corrupted by evil. Pretty normal storytelling. And then, uh, the hero’s grandfather molests and murders the hero’s girlfriend, because the hero might become evil. My face is in my hands at this point. The incomprehensible shame. The hero is then corrupted and goes on a killing spree and humanity’s caught in the crossfire and the world ends. After *that* we get the One Timeline. Why? Why say things have always been bad (and I guess imply that bad things are the default) and then waste my time with the worst shock value trash that comes after for a full volume before actually starting the story? It’s edgy garbage! Why is this an official Mazinger work? Stuff like this is what makes me stop and think “wait are all Nagai’s works like this and I’ve been lying to myself when I like it?” Christ, this turned into a rant. Moving on.
[Content Warning Over]
Dumbbell Nan-Kilo Moteru? Vol 1: Idk if talking about horny manga after that mental breakdown is gonna make me look weird but hear me out.
Hot girls lifting weights.
You still here? Okay, good. I started this on a mutual’s recommendation and while it’s not regularly engaging with my own things (I’m more of a “watching fit woman deadlift and hoping she drops it on me and I disintegrate like so many dead leaves” person), and with the two main girls being high schoolers, I try to avoid engaging with that in that way. Luckily, there’s a teacher my age with a bob cut, so we’re good! More interesting, though, this is in the same genre as that Skullface Bookseller Honda-san anime (though less biographical), where the author just wants to explain their job or hobby while also using likable comedy characters as the vehicle. Anime made edutainment work.
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I’m starting to get tired and I wanna wrap this up but unfortunately I have a bit to talk about regarding the last manga I read in Feb.
Tokyo Ghoul Vols 10-12: I’ve been reading this for the past, uh. I read it a lot last year, I don’t know when I started, though. Around 8 books in I started slowing down and taking long breaks because phew! I’d hit the end of the series’ big bad story arc and was having trouble picking up from there. I’m glad I did, though, because the story is still getting good. Here’s hoping I can handle the sequel series, because Tokyo Ghoul itself only has two books to go.
I’ve talked about TG a few times before, maybe just on Twitter. It’s very intelligent “vampire” lit that ramps up the stakes of transition by saying “you can’t just suck their blood and let them go! Human meat is your food and you’ll suffer without it.” At first, I was like “oh wow lol this is edgy” but the last twelve books have talked about trauma, alienation, and most importantly loss of innocence. It’s also about the importance of the bonds between people. The main character is perpetually at odds with himself, trying to be a good person in spite of the fact that being a ghoul is literally and figuratively being a monster. It could easily be an overwrought story of self-indulgence and angst but everything in it has been careful and effective. Ghoul culture is thoroughly built up and balances concepts of territory and posture along with careful deception for the purpose of staying a part of, and hiding from, human culture. It’s about predators who cannot remove themselves from their predatory nature, even if they want to be people with families and educations. There’s an organization that wears white and hunts ghouls with weapons crafted from ghoul bodies and functionally I can’t fully argue with them, sort of, but hey we’re starting to discover that corporations are corrupt (who knew?) and that’ll be fun.
But forget the poetry and human condition, the best thing this series does is that unashamedly works the Hot Topic aesthetic. The main character likes reading books and wears an eyepatch to hide his heterochromia and works as a barista. He wears a mask that evokes an S&M lifestyle. Ghouls can only eat people and all other food taste rotten. Except for black coffee. There’s also a number of ghouls with black nails and eyeshadow, and very heavily coded queer male characters (some more flatteringly portrayed than others but that’s a whole other thing). If Sui Ishida never listened to Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge, I’ll eat my fucking feet.
@sun-eater-official I think this might be up your alley. Or maybe not! But these aesthetics sound like you. Actually, you should probably watch 08th MS Team too, for the Bebop vibes.
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So that’s everything! I thought I had a short list but apparently it was all things I had a lot to say about. Again, if you read all of this, thanks a lot, I hope I end up introducing you to a new favorite. In the future, I may have to split these into separate posts for each category. I have a lot of free time to write these lately. Writing two roundup posts back to back is a bit tiring, but I don’t have to do another until April starts.
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kyurilin · 5 years
Text
Seriously having someone show up in my inbox just to ask me about how to start writing again has been amazing
I've been trying to find an answer to that for 5 years. Because it was this month 5 years ago that shit in my life turned upside down and I just stopped writing. It didn't help that I finished off my semester at community college thereby losing the only routine I had and then did nothing for the next year and a half either.
I had no routine and life shit made writing seem way down the list priority wise and I'm pretty sure I was actually depressed for awhile (I wouldn't know for certain my therapist at the time was more concerned with trying to help me get a job)
Over the past 5 years I've found and lost the spark to write again so many times that it's almost more of a game. And when the spark did show up it wasn't really ready to do anything that had a storyline (at least during late late 2014-2015-2016).
Like the best luck I had with continuous writing was getting into Cars 3 because I actually wrote a variety of stories I never would have thought of writing otherwise, and likely the reason I even could keep up a semblance of semi regular writing after the huge "this is my last cars fanfiction ever oh wait I lied" story was because the first Cars movie was what got me into writing for real and i wrote for that for years. So having something that emotionally resonated with me added to that plus the Cars fandom is astonishingly encouraging. Hell, someone reblogged my Rod Redline Cars story again yesterday with a tag so they could reread it again later easily and I felt truly honored because I did that story at least a year ago at this point.
I've fallen back into FNAF which has kicked me into writing again because thankfully the first time I was into this game series I wrote a lot (even if it was irrelevant to the plot of the actual story i wanted to write) so I associate it with writing and boy does that help.
But like, I've been trying to figure out for 5 years what drives me to actually sit down with pen and paper to write now that the routine I established from the age of 13 to 21 doesn't exist. I can't wake up, go to school, and ignore the teachers in class to write my shitty fanfiction. I can't come home and stay up till 2am just because I really gotta get to page 56 of this story that is actually a slow burn romance for a ship that only I care about cause it's canon x oc. I'm not 13/14/15 year old me churning out stories because I crave any sort of attention.
I'm 26 and I have a job and ADHD and by god if my focus decides that today, we're gonna build a skyscraper in Minecraft, then there is nothing else worthy to be done on this planet. Hey you wanted to write after work? Nah, let's play Skyrim. No one's awake but you and your notebook is literally a foot away? YouTube's close time to watch vine compilations.
Writing's hard. Trying to figure out how to get yourself to write is harder.
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