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lowkeyrobin · 2 months

Note

Heyy :) Can you please write headcanons of dating quackity, but in his earlier eras? (like 2019-21 maybe) ❤

ooooo yes of course!!! ; fun fact I've been watching him since 2018 or so (I don't mean this in a "Oh I'm cooler than you way) ; thank you for the request!! this was fun as hell ; I tried to kinda do it in a chronological order but yeah, I did like stuff and then more details of relationship if that makes sense yk???

QUACKITY ; 2019-2021 era

warnings ; language, talk of drugs, jokes about sex

genre ; fluff

word count ; 858

masterlist

Raiding Club Penguin with him and Axel was a core memory for you. It was the first true time, however cringe it sounds, that you saw Alex as your best friend.

he'd always try to make you laugh, especially on stream

such a little tease

back in the olden days, we had those Discord server 'wtf is that food' videos

you guys rank some of them and how likely you'd eat them

also ranking Discord memes

so many of them were dumb shit or weird shipart from like 2015 deviantart LMFAO

"guys I know me and y/n are dating but that doesn't mean compare us to Shrek couples!"

"I thought Thanos was your true love?"

"He-He is! Oh my God, stop being so desperate, y/n. ugh"

once he got invited to the Dream SMP, you were all ears and proudly taught him how to play Minecraft

you made his alt skin with the tuxedo, which he didn't wear often, but used in lore some time later

youd often help him with lore ideas

he also got you invited into the SMP where he introduced you to some of his new friends

you knew schlatt and some others, but most of these people were new and it was nice meeting all of them

the fiances are established and then you and quackity are already a think and you also like karl, which creates a weird love rectangle with an open end because you and sapnap are sharing the other two 💀

lore goes fuckin crazy with that

while Karl's off making Kinoko Kingdom and Quackity's running Las Nevadas, you're building El Tropicana, off in the far away jungle biome

Alex would usually stream and translate Mexican soap operas, which you joined in for sometimes

you'd give the characters different voices and twist their words up a bit to make it more entertaining for chat

the amount of drug talk that went into that was wild

also the amount of queer kids bullied in those schools?? yikes on bikes

also the one with that girl who got in trouble for kissing a boy on the playground or whatever that was?? Jesus christ man

youd both act put the scenes on occasion and use Tiger as whatever kid was being yelled at if she was in the room with you

taking a break halfway through stream for him to play guitar and for you to karaoke to fuckin Bo Burnham

also making fake joints out of paper he had laying around and "lighting them up" aka setting paper on fire next to a PC and your faces

Jackbox streams with the Feral Boys until 3am>>>

Paranormal Activity in the middle of the night went so fucking crazy

teaching Bad how to play GTA is your favorite memory with those two

playing horror games and watching him play horror games with Karl while he visited him

how dare he leave you all alone (you couldn't go because you had a busy schedule)

your chats shipping the hell out of you and your dsmp characters

hella fanart and fanfictions man

try not to laugh streams where you always ended up laughing before the ten minute mark because of him

he purposefully does shit to make you laugh

reading fanfiction on stream was a regular activity especially for y/s/n

youd rank the book on a scale from one to ten and how accurate to real life they were

"nahhhh that one doesn't have enough Thanos, two out of ten"

"yknow what... were gonna have our own tier lists... okay?"

"damnit... does this mean I'm not getting laid later?"

"what"

promoting the quackityhq merch religiously

also stealing whichever beanie he wasn't wearing, either the LAFD one or the plain black and blue one

him tying you to a chair and forcing you to laugh was a common stream plot

tweets that were either very inconspicuous about drugs, very sexual, or very old married couple vibes

youd both be frequently trending on twitter

hot wings or dare streams with Bad >>>>

playing girls go games and hoping you wouldn't give his PC a virus

sitting in the inflatable pool fully clothed, playing with children's bath toys

he'd for sure be the type to fall for his best friend

whether it be all the way back then or just now, he could go forever without feeling any feelings but one day they'll show up and the nervousness begins

he'd lend you a hoodie if you were cold in his room and he just straight up begs you to keep it

lots of just staring at you while chat ships you, like genuinley just zones out on your pretty face

would probably doubt his feelings at first and talk to his mom about it and she's like "boy you have a crush. Go ask them the hell out, you're a handsome young man, I'm pretty sure they like you too"

"mOooOooOoOoM"

genuinley spoils you with no good reason and after a while you just accept it

he starts sending good morning and good night texts

he'll repost (or reblog) (he has a secret tumblr) fanart of you two, especially if it's shipart

will constantly send you clips of movie characters making out or kissing and say "this should be us"

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt x reader #mcyt preferences #mcyt oneshot #quackity x reader #alex quackity x reader #quackity oneshot #quackity headcannons #quackityhq x reader #quackity #qsmp x reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader #they/them reader

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bucketfullofstrawberries · 7 months

Text

I Walk up to a tiny little podium in the middle of nowhere in particular

Taps the microphone

Ahem

Now introducing,

Welcome to the Paraverse

(A parody of Welcome To The Internet by Bo Burnham. Written by Me)

Welcome to the Paraverse! Have a look around~ Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found! We've got oodles of NEW content, Some better, some worse.. If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first! Welcome to the Paraverse! Come and take a seat, Would you like to see our theories or some senior citizens meet? There's no need to panic, This isn't a test, Haha! Just pick and choose your path and we'll do the rest. Welcome to the Paraverse What would you prefer? Would you like to make an eldritch god or see some chains occur? Go this way, Go that way, Don't move an inch! We got a million different ideas to pitch. Welcome to the Paraverse, Put your cares aside Here's some brand new art to steal, Here's the tenth time Stanley's died. We got animators, and artists, and fics of all kinds. And a bunch of colored digital drawings Of all the different characters in the game making out with each other, Welcome to the Paraverse,,, Hold on to your scarfs 'Cause Kevan just tweeted out about sawing little girls in half It's silly, it's stupid, He just tweeted more, Don't act surprised, these tweets are things that you' ve seen before! See the bucket shredded, Get offended, see a twink. Show us pictures of their children, Make them take the purple drink Start a rumor, buy a broom Or call out Thierry as a boomer Take your oc and then doom her Join a zoom or make weird humour Here's a brand new Narrator You should set that child aflame Here's why women never loved you Here's a guide to build your fame Which in-game character are you? Take this quirky quiz! Things made a bug that makes those gay fuckers kiss. Could I interest you in everything? All of the time? A little bit of everything All of the time Stairs are now a tragedy And time-skips are a crime Anything and everything All of the time Could I interest you in everything? All of the time? A little bit of everything All of the time Stairs are now a tragedy And time-skips are a crime Anything and everything All of the time You know, it wasn't always like this Not very long ago Just before it's prime, Right before the memory zone, the keeper of time This was button press Endless resets A sad death or two, We set our sights and spent our nights Waiting For you, you, insatiable you Mommy let you play indie games You were barely 4'2 And you went through all endings Which, to you, were brand new,, Now look at you, oh Look at you, you, you Unstoppable, watchable Your time is now Your inside's out Honey, how we knew And if we stick together Who knows what we'll do It was always the plan To put the decisions in your hands Hahaha,,HAHhahahHAHAH,,,HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Could I interest you in everything? All of the time A bit of everything All of the time Stairs are now a tragedy And time-skips are a crime Anything and everything All of the time Could I interest you in everything? All of the time A little bit of everything All of the time Stairs are now a tragedy And time-skips are a crime Anything and everything And everythings not ending And the ending's never ending And, All of the time~!

Thank you for your time <3

#tsp #tspud #the stanley parable #stanley parable #tsp shitpost #tsp paraverse #paraverse #the paraverse #naraverse #silly #welcome to the internet #welcome to the paraverse #ough i had fun with this

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blues824 · 1 year

Note

So I saw your requests were open. Could you write something for a reader who believes humans are inherently flawed? Like they think people are born bad and don't change easy, and are easily swayed by selfish things? These ideas came from things that happened to them as they were growing up. (The reader is also human, and fully acknowledges this, and does there best to be nice to set them apart from the rest? Sorta like Rollo's hatred for magic, but toned down a notch.) Thank you if you decide to write this, and have a nice day!

It’s alright, Anon! I chose the Diasomnia crew because I love writing for Sebek and Malleus. @animusicnerd was so kind as to allow me to use her lore post

Gender-neutral reader.

Malleus Draconia

He learned about your belief when you both were on a walk through the night. He doesn’t quite recall what brought up the topic, but he was saddened to hear you say such things. He believes that everyone has flaws, but it’s one’s duty to either embrace them or reject them.

He understands where you’re coming from, since the things that you experienced weren’t the best example of his beliefs. Those humans were people that rejected their own flaws and projected their own insecurities on you. In fact, the faes back in the Briar Valley felt the same way as you do about humans.

However, his dream is to unite the two. If he can get you to see past the flaws that were bestowed upon humankind, then you both can come together (preferably in matrimony) and show everyone that faes and humans can get along. Not just that, but he could get you to see that you could help solve the problems that your people like to create.

Lilia Vanrouge

You told him about how you believed humankind was inherently flawed when you were learning about the war between humans and fae in Briar Valley, and he was helping you since he was a general in the war. Even though he saw the ferocity firsthand, he didn’t particularly agree on your viewpoint, but he saw where you get that ideology.

In the war against humans, he had seen and learned about the reasoning behind them attacking, and he agreed that their reasoning was absolutely horrible. However, their behavior did not set a precedent for other humans. He believed in Malleus’s dream to unite the two and increase the human population and half-fae population for more diversity.

He hopes that he can get you to see that not all humans are bad (for example, you), and that even though you had bad experiences with them that they aren’t the example you should base humanity as a whole off of. He will be patient since trauma doesn’t go as easy as dirt and grime does with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, but he will be there every step of the way to your emotional recovery.

Silver

You at first steered clear of him, and that made him chase you (think of that moment in Sleeping Beauty when Phillip sneaks up on Aurora). Your heart is conflicted because Silver has shown nothing but kindness to you, but your mind is telling you that you can’t trust him.

However, if there was any lesson that Lilia drilled into his son, it was to never give up on the people that you love. So, he begged you through letters (this man stayed up with Sebek so that the poet-in-denial could help the sleepy human write letters that could possibly make you swoon).

Silver is one of the few humans that reside in the Briar Valley, and he knows that he has one fatal flaw: his exhaustion. However, since he was chosen to be a knight of Malleus, he had to have the virtue of a knight to enter knighthood. With this reasoning, you grew closer to him. Now, the two of you can be seen in each other’s arms as he naps and you just bask in his company.

Sebek Zigvolt

You also steered clear of him, but you were also conflicted considering Malleus and Lilia gave you a good impression on faes but you had a bad impression of humankind. As the wise Bo Burnham once said, “a half-good-half-bad-half-boy”.

He learned about your personal philosophy, and he too was conflicted. He also grew insecure of himself, and tried to lower his tone around you to try and give you a better impression. He tried to convince you that he rejected his human side constantly, but it seems as though it got in his way again.

It was through a poem that he wrote to you that contained a line from your favorite book that really got your attention. You realized that he tried to understand you and even tried to change himself for you, and you saw that maybe people can change. So, you went to him one day and placed a kiss on his cheek, which let him know that you returned his feelings.

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likeabulldigidigibombombombom · 3 months

Text

Snowy

Pairing: Ryujin x gn!reader

Trope/Genre: Fluff, established relationship

Warnings: Pet names, usage of Y/N

712 words

Summary: You and your girlfriend go for a walk through the snow to the store to buy some items. You come across some fun things along the way.

It was the middle of winter and there were piles of snow everywhere. Staying in your warm, cosy house was probably the best decision, which you were planning to make, but your girlfriend insisted that a movie night ”needed” microwaved popcorn and that you also “needed” some hot soup to warm up with.

So you and Ryujin embarked on a journey to the supermarket. After wrapping up warm, you both started walking down the street to get to the closest store. “Ooh! Y/N look!” Her gloved hand pointed at a fluffy, white puppy playing around in the snow with its owner.

”It’s so cute!” You laughed. Whenever there was an animal near, she would get so excited. “Do you want to ask if we can pet it?” “Nah, their owner looks scary.”

As soon as she had finished her sentence, the dog’s owner shot a glare towards both of you and you grabbed her hand and bolted towards the other direction.

After you had both stopped to catch your breath, you continued calmly walking to the store.

“If Jesus could walk on water…” “Please don’t finish that sentence.” you said with a sigh. “Could he swim on land?”

“You’re such a dumbass. I mean I love you, but you’re a dumbass.” “Well don’t blame me, blame Bo Burnham.” “Who?” “I saw a TikTok of a guy playing the piano while saying that.”

“Your ‘for you page’ will never fail to terrify me. I mean, one second its a video of a cat with huge eyes walking around aimlessly, and then it’ll be a subway surfers video with a horrific true crime story playing in the background.” “Don’t judge me, judge the algorithm.” She shrugged.

Ryujin was more of the ‘silly’ type, and compared to her, you were calmer. You would usually fix up her messes and make sure she doesn’t do something stupid and in return, she’d thank you constantly and show her appreciation in more ways than one. So you had to be protective of her.

You both had finally arrived at the shop. You went in, bought some popcorn and a few other veggies for a soup that Ryujin was planning to make for dinner, and then went out. On the walk back home, your girlfriend spotted a big unfinished snowman. She ran over to it and picked up some sticks to stab into the sides to create the illusion of arms. You picked up some small stones and placed them in a vertical line on its belly for buttons. “No!” She cried out. “Hm?” “We don’t have a carrot!” “Oh no…” Ryujin had a sad look on her face and she plopped down on the floor in defeat. “Get up, you’ll get wet.” “What’s the point? The snowman just looks like a body with a baseball for a head.”

She sighed an exasperated sigh as you thought of what to use as a nose.

“Ryujin.” “Yeah?” “How much do you want soup for dinner on a scale of one to ten.” “Uh, five?” “How much do you want to finish this snowman on a scale of one to ten?” “Ten definitely.”

You took a leek out of your shopping bag, ripped the green top off it and stuck the leek in the area that a carrot would go. Ryujin stood up and beamed happily. “I love him!” She tightly embraced you. “Even though he looks diseased?” “Even though he looks diseased.”

Once you had both left your creation, you noticed two kids looking up at the snowman in amazement. They began to build a second one beside it.

“Awe, cute.” You said, walking beside Ryujin. “Not as cute as you though.” “Huh?” “You basically wasted a leek that you had bought with your money for me!” “I didn’t want you to be sad.” “Oh my god, I love you so fucking much.”

She grabbed your hand, and you could feel how much warmer her hands were compared to yours. Apparently, through her gloves, she could feel them too. “Your hands are freezing babe.” She grabbed both of them and breathed hot air onto them.

You could feel yourself blushing, and you hoped that she wouldn’t notice and that she would just think that it was just because of the cool air. She noticed.

Author note: Thank you so much for reading my first itzy fic! I seriously appreciate it. Like always, constructive criticism is wanted! I feel like there are a lot fewer wlw fics out there (as someone who reads wlw and straight works) than there are straight ones! Even though this one is gn, I'm hoping to make more wlw ones for the gays out there. If you liked this, please follow me for more fanfics like this one <3 Thank you!

Masterlist

#itzy imagines #itzy x reader #itzy x y/n #ryujin x reader #itzy fanfic #itzy x gender neutral reader #itzy x male reader #itzy x female reader #shin ryujin x reader #ryujin x y/n #ryujin x you #ryujin fluff #itzy fluff #ryujin x male reader #ryujin x female reader #likeabulldigidigibombombombom

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no1sharkenthusaist · 1 year

Text

! hsr headcannons for several characters ! [modern au]

♪ In-ter-net-o ya-me-ro ♪!

Y u m i - c h a n i s n o w o n l i n e !

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Characters : Dan Heng, Serval, Blade, Gepard, March

Plot : no real plot, just headcannons about honkai Characters in a modern au setting

Tags : modern au, headcannons, fluff, slight crack, wrote this at 11pm while heading home from a road trip

authors note : omg got a steam deck for my birthday (may 30th) and I. AM. IN. LOVE !!! I could talk abt it for hours and hours but i have my discord for that ehe. Anyways, ive been having fun rediscovering my old childhood games and thats when i had an epiphany. Hsr or genshin boys in a ddlc type scenario!!! Feeling so swag abt the idea. Also i got out of school so more uploads yaya. Thank u all for the support on my intro page yippee. I promise not to let you all down

╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑ enjoy !

DANHENG

Now playing : Scrawny - The Wallows

He definitely dresses like with collared shirts and kinda has that accidental soft boy look

English major frfr

definitely listens to lovejoy/wilbursoot and bo burnham

Water drinker enthusiast (even tho he forgets to drink half the time-)

burnt out gifted kid

messed up sleeping schedules

Hes that quiet guy everyone has a crush on to some extent

He looks cold and serious during lectures, but hes actually just daydreaming and has his head in the clouds

Probably stays with the same group of kids he met in middle school because he cant socialize

I think said kids would be march, stelle/caleus, himeko And on ocasion blade, kafka, and silverwolf

Welt would be a chill english teacher that would let Dan Heng sit in his classroom during lunch

he likes going to concerts a lot

Learned to play guitar in middle school but doesnt like playing in front of people

Consider yourself lucky if he plays in front of you

Extremely oblivious to romance

Girls will try to flirt with him but he will just have a blank and confused look

Spends his free time in book stores shopping for records

Ps5 gamer frfr

Theater kid (had a hamilton phase)

SERVAL

Now playing : Shut Me Up - Mindless Self Indulgence

Shut me up by mindless self indulgence on loop

Like its probably to an unhealthy level

Always has headphones in(that gepard gave her for her birthday)(And so loud to the point you can hear the music standing next to her)

(went deaf at the ripe age of 13, after that it was all "huh?" /j)

Shirts from old bands, baggy jeans, fishnets, etc

Had an alt phase

Bad habit of smashing guitars

Dropped out of college after first semester

Had a band in highschool with Blade and Dan Heng that received noise complaints on a regular Basis

Really extroverted and easy to get along with

Loves going to concerts (especially the ones that get crazy like halfway through )

Probably gets in fights during black friday

Addicted to coffee (gepards needs to step in and help her drink something else)

Likes bitter stuff more than sweet stuff

Cares very deeply for her friends

The type of gal to go on road trips with friends and go Camping

Goes to protests every other tuesday

Probably banned from several places

very passionate about things she loves

Loves scary movies and Rollercoasters

The six flags employees have memorized her name

(shes just so cool i wanna be like her fr)

BLADE

Now playing : Consequences - Lovejoy

Theater kid (would never admit it tho)

Kafka teases him about it so much

met kafka and silverwolf in detention

The teachers hate the three of them

Alt kid and never got out of his emo phase

Besties with serval, change my mind

Kafka probably pushed him to join boxing to get his anger out in a less…destructive way

Loves the sleepovers he has with kafka and silverwolf

Broke silverwolf's tv while playing wii sports

Goes to college, no clue what he wants to do so hes just doing liberal studies

Adopted a small stray cat he saw on the ground during a storm

he tries to be tough and mean, but hes a big Softy

Loves the Beetlejuice musical(and mean girls but we dont talk about that)

has probably been on probation on multiple occasions

Probably vandalized the car of someone he didnt like

Kafka has to sweet talk everyone out of getting blade in serious trouble

Hes really good at basketball, he just doesnt like it so he never pushed it further

Doesnt really like or understands sports

probably listens to videogame osts 24/7

GEPARD

Now Playing : Pretty Face - PUBLIC

Getting serval out of trouble isnt a choice, its a lifestyle

Which is ironic, as he is a criminal justice major

But he still will always be her biggest supporter

Dresses (like a costco dad) soft boy by pure accident

Completely oblivious to anything and everything

Enjoys gardening and has a lemon Tree

Cave Town enthusiast

Lemonade Enthusiast

Sends people those "reminder to drink water and be happy" messages

Straight 4.0 GPA student. The teachers loved Him

Was really shy so he didnt have many friends growing up (Serval had to help him out)

Hates rollercoasters, serval drags him around six flags and he screams his head off

Poor guy :<

Still loves it since he loves hanging out with his sister

Student council secretary

No clue how the internet and technology works

Strong sense of justice

That has gotten him involved in several issues

Which ironically, serval got him out of

Wholesome cinnamon roll, pls protecc

MARCH 7TH

Now playing : Cupid - FIFTY FIFTY

That one girl in class that no one could hate

Class representative and student council public relations officer

Photography major (duh)

Social butterfly and very easy to talk to

Want to go out to go eat something sweet while having fun? March has you covered !

March Makes friendship braclets and sells them so she can go shopping

has a secret stash of candy hidden in her dorm

March has a babysitting gig and comes to peoples houses with candy

Shes a little kid magnet, they all love her so much

had a club penguin phase with Dan Heng and they both shudder just thinking about it

learned all her profanity from watching Dan Heng play Call Of Duty

sucks at english, fries her brain like a hashbrown

k-pop girlie

dresses really cute with cardigans and pastel pinks

(watched aphmau, Her favorite one was a mermaid tales and mystreet) [submitted by someone on my discord who wants to stay anon]

plays overwatch and says things like "Hey, thats not nice!"

lowkey kind of a teachers pet-

Loves webtoons and collects the physical releases

! Thats a wrap !

! Join my discord HERE !

! Likes, reblogs, comments are greatly appreciated !

and thank you for reading ^^

♪ Overdose 君とふたりやるせない日々♪

! y u m i - c h a n i s n o w o f f l i n e !

t h a n k y o u f o r c o m i n g ~

#hsr headcanons #march 7th #dan heng #serval #star rail #hsr blade #blade hc #march 7th hc #hsr x reader #Yumi's shark blog that isnt quite about sharks #hsr x you #hsr x y/n #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr drabbles

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disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years

Text

5 Years

CC!Ranboo x GN!Reader

Song: 5 Years by Bo Burnham

Warnings: None

Y/n fiddled with the phone in their hands, still contemplating as to whether or not to actually make the call to their longtime boyfriend, known as Ranboo. Today was their anniversary. Five years to be exact. The two of them were only 18, but they’ve known each other their whole lives, and they’ve been in love with each other for 6 years, that one year was spent silently pining over each other until the h/c teen mustered up the courage to actually confess.

“Oh my gosh, just call him and tell him you wrote him a song!” Tommy exclaimed, laying on his stomach across from his nervous friend. “It’s that simple.”

Y/n shook their head. “Shut up Tom, it’s not that simple. What do you know? You’ve never been in a steady relationship because you can’t get a girl to fall in love with you.”

“Woah! What the hell?” Tommy frowned and sat up. “What did I do?”

Y/n groaned and rubbed their hands over their face. “I’m sorry Tommy. I wasn’t trying to be rude. I just…What if he doesn’t like it? What do I do then?”

Tommy didn’t answer right away, trying to find the right words to say so he wouldn’t say the wrong thing and risk getting another blow to his ego. Thinking back on it, he really didn’t know how much the two meant to each other. Him and Tubbo had asked how the two of them had gotten together one night when they were all at Tubbo’s house in England, back when they were still 17 and stupid, but the couple was pretty much vague when it came to their answers.

But the one thing he did know was that Ranboo loved Y/n, and Y/n loved Ranboo. That was enough for anybody wasn’t it?

“Well I know that Ranboo loves you.�� Tommy talked slowly, trying to make his words sound a little more meaningful. He wasn’t good at things like this. Y/n would have gotten better advice if they went to Aimsey or Niki instead. Hell, even Billzo or Freddy would be better than him. “If it comes from you, Ranboo will love it. I know that much.”

Y/n peeked through their fingers. “You really think so? Seriously?”

Tommy nodded and held out the phone. Biting their lip, Y/n grasped the object between their fingers.

“Okay. I can do this.” The nervous teen went into their contacts and tapped on their significant other’s profile, pressing the call button and brought the device up to their ear. “It’s ringing.”

They waited and slightly winced at the beeping. “Oh…It went to voicemail.” Y/n informed the blond.

“Just say what you were going to say.”

The e/c person nodded. “Hey Boo, uh, it's me, Um, our anniversary is coming up, it's a pretty big one, and, um, I wrote a song for you. So I'm just leaving you this voicemail because, um, I want the song to begin with this voicemail…”

“...Um, so just, figure it out and text me the voicemail, um, immediately, if you wouldn't mind…Like, right when you get this. Thank you, um, I love you, bye.”

Ranboo smiled as he listened to his lover’s voice fill his ears. He was upset because he hadn’t been able to spend a lot of time with Y/n. Ranboo had become increasingly busy with his streams while Y/n had spent more time on their album, just recently releasing outtakes and such.

Ranboo had not forgotten their anniversary but was slightly worried about it slipping Y/n’s mind, not that he would have minded too much, but he would be lying he said the thought wasn’t upsetting. So he knew he was lucky that she remembered.

That was the way their relationship worked. Ranboo was the hopeless romantic while Y/n was the realistic person. Ranboo was a live in the moment and Y/n was a plan ahead type. They balanced each other out and that’s why the couple was able to stay together so long. So with the way Y/n wasn’t big on affection all that much, it wasn’t a surprise she made a song, nevertheless, the thought could not be appreciated enough.

Y/n and Ranboo had been best friends since 5th grade, and the only reason it began was because Y/n had accidentally tripped Ranboo and he had been so forgiving, which was something that still confused the h/c teen to this current day and age.

Secrets have been shared between the two on late nights when it was school the next day. Secrets that they had originally vowed to take to the grave but allowed themselves to slip when speaking to the person who meant everything to the other.

They both had their problems, and they helped each other with their problems, whether it be mentally or physically. Ranboo had always had trouble with the way he looked, never liking his appearance. It had been something that he had confessed to Y/n around 2 years into their friendship. Y/n didn’t like the way other people perceived them, more often than not believing that they were a very tiresome person, and that people are usually annoyed with them.

The two of them were messes. Huge unlabeled weird messes. And even though together they were a bigger mess, it was a mess that just seemed to go unnoticed by most because it was so natural.

It’s been 5 years and things have not changed by much. The pair were still with each other, and things would not be changing anytime soon. Not a big change anyways.

It was around 10 pm at night, and Ranboo and Y/n had just finished a 5 hour long stream and they were starving from having not eaten anything all day, so they agreed on ordering some Chinese food. While Ranboo ordered for them, Y/n searched on tv for a show or movie that would occupy a good amount of time before their dinner arrived and chose to settle on some sitcom that was on its reruns.

The young couple sat on the couch, with Ranboo sitting near the armrest and Y/n right by him, letting their shoulders touch, eating their meal. Y/n was watching the people on the screen move and listening to them talk and the laugh track that would occasionally ring out.

Suddenly, Y/n’s attention was pulled away as Ranboo wordlessly reached over to her plate and grabbed a dumpling before popping it into his mouth. The e/c teen stopped her movements and stared at their boyfriend. Y/n scoffed and shook their head. Like, Ranboo didn’t even ask if he could. Yeah, they’re dating each other, but it should be a known fact that you do NOT take your significant other’s food unless you know they’ll be okay with it.

Ranboo stopped chewing as he caught Y/n’s gaze and stared at her questioningly. “Why are you looking at me like that? What the fuck did I do?”

The teen rolled their eyes. “You know, if you really wanted some dim sum then you should have gotten some when we place in the order dude.”

“You’re a psycho.” Ranboo jokingly told Y/n. “I don’t wanna fight, okay? So let’s just drop this, it’s not a big deal.” He turned back to the screen.

Y/n sighed, “Fine, but for the record you owe me a dumpling, I mean it, I won't forget. You owe me a dumpling or a dumpling equivalent.”

Ranboo bit his lip to stop himself from bursting out into laughter at his partner's words. It was really moments like this that made him love his best friend even more.

Ranboo walked across the slightly cluttered floor that had a few papers, pencils, and a couple sweaters scattered around. It is a calm day.

Or it was.

Y/n’s head snapped up when they heard Ranboo let out a loud screech, watching him clumsily jump on the couch, looking batshit terrified. “Hey what’s wrong!?”

Instead of answering, Ranboo shakily pointed at the ground. Confused, Y/n’s eyes followed his finger and saw the culprit. It was a fucking spider, and it was the size of a nickel.

Y/n let out a panicked gasp and clambered off the chair they were sitting on to stand on the coffee table. They swallowed the lump in their throat and looked at their boyfriend. “You should kill that.”

Ranboo looked Y/n in the eyes as he shook his head. “Um, no, fuck that.”

“Come on, be a man.”

“What?” Ranboo squinted his eyes. “You're a total anti-sexist, a patriarchy fighter. But your whole worldview collapses.The moment there's a spider.” He glanced back down at the eight legged creature. “I get it, this is the real you. It's a pleasure, nice to meet you.” Ranboo held his hand out for a handshake despite the fact that him and Y/n were like 4 feet apart. “Shit like this brings the movement down.”

Y/n scoffed. “Well, haven’t you heard the saying?”

Ranboo picked his head up again, “What saying?”

“Everyone's a feminist until there is a spider around.”

Y/n stood up from their spot on the couch and started walking towards the hall.

“Where are you going?” Ranboo asked from behind them.

“Just to the bathroom.” Faintly, Y/n could hear shuffling from the couch, but brushed it off, assuming Ranboo had gotten up for more popcorn or another drink or something. They were not expecting to be picked up by the waist and moved to the opposite side of where they were originally heading. “What the hell?”

Y/n turned back around in time to see Ranboo dart to the bathroom as well. “Hey! No! Don’t you dare!”

Getting a loud laugh in return, Y/n was unfortunately slower than the giant ass teen and ran into the door as Ranboo abruptly shut it. “Too slow!”

Y/n groaned and hit their head on the wooden door. “Bruh, why didn’t you just use the guest bathroom? This is why we have two bathrooms in the first place!” Y/n whirled around and stalked off, only pausing once to shout one more time. “And I know that you know!”

“It’s fun messing with you!”

“Fuck off!”

Y/n groaned and rubbed their eyes, trying to get all the eye crust off, still groggy from the long nap. They sat up, looking around the room, remembering that they had spent the night at Tommy’s since it was too late for Y/n to leave for the house that they and Ranboo shared.

Y/n sat up and picked up the note that was on the dresser. They recognized the sloppy handwriting as Tommy’s explaining that he had gone to the store and would be back soon, also explaining that there was food in the fridge if they were hungry.

They pushed the covers away and stood up, leaving the guest room and walking down the hall, coming out into the front room, seeing it empty. They moved over to the couch and sat down, leaning back against the cushions and pulling out their phone.

The silence that had taken over was interrupted by a knock on the door. Y/n groaned, standing up and walked over to the door, unlocking it and opening it, realizing at the last second that they should have at least looked out the peephole first. They got lucky though, seeing as it just turned out to be Ranboo.

Ranboo stood in front of his partner and smiled nervously. “Hi.”

“Hey.” Y/n breathed out, surprised he had shown up. “Sorry, come in.” They moved out of the way.

Ranboo strolled inside, glancing around the apartment. “Is Tommy here?”

“Umm, no, he’s out shopping. Who knows what he’ll come back with.” They chuckled. “What are you doing here?”

“It feels like we had a fight, even though we didn’t.” Ranboo mumbled. He held out his arms and pulled Y/n into his chest, breathing in their signature scent. “I know we haven’t had a lot of time for each other because we’ve both been busy with our own things, which also means we didn’t get to have our anniversary yesterday.” The words were muffled, but it was still easy enough for Y/n to understand.

“It’s no one’s fault.” Y/n whispered. “We can just hang out today, and go do something if you want.”

Ranboo shook his head. “No. No, I just want to be around you. I don’t want to do anything today, please.”

Y/n tightened their grip on their boyfriend. “Then we don’t have to. I promise.”

“I really loved the song.” Ranboo muttered gently.

Everything was silent between the two lovers. It was perfect even.

“Happy five years.”

#ranboo x y/n #ranboo fluff #ranboo x reader #ranboo imagine #ranboo #ranboo x you #c: ranboo #cc!ranboo #dream smp #dream smp x reader #dream smp x y/n #dream smp x you #bo burham inside #bo burnham

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bracketsoffear · 10 months

Note

TMA: The Musical, Version 2.0:

Thanks to all the posters whose ideas I added to this one.

EYE

Touch-Tone Telephone by Lemon Demon

Electric Eye by Judas Priest

Busted from Phineas and Ferb

Aha! By Imogen Heap

LONELY

Waving Through A Window from Dear Evan Hansen

Invisible from MLP Equestria Girls: Forgotten Friendship

I Am A Rock by Simon and Garfunkel

Love Like Ghosts by Lord Huron

Frozen Pines by Lord Huron

Drift Away from Steven Universe: The Movie

Mister Cellophane from Chicago

Have A Seat Misery by Shayfer James

VAST

Infinitesimal by Mother Mother

Major Tom (Coming Home) by Peter Schilling

Waiting For The Drop from Ride the Cyclone

Stranded Lullaby by Miracle Musical

Dream Sweet in Sea Major by Miracle Musical

Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths

BURIED

Debt Collector by Jhariah

The Woods by San Fermin

Why We Build The Wall from Hadestown

Way Down Hadestown (Reprise) from Hadestown

Pressure by Billy Joel

Sixteen Tons by Tennessee Ernie Ford

DARK

Hometown by Twenty One Pilots

Come Wayward Souls from Over The Garden Wall

The Night by Aurelio Voltaire

Snuff Out The Light by Eartha Kitt

Friends Who Don't Go Out At Night by The Deadly Syndrome

STRANGER

Mirror Man by Jack Stauber’s Micropop

Faceshopping by Sophie

The Stranger by Lord Huron

Mr. Roboto by Styx

Doll Parts by Hole

Suit by Boom! Bap! Pow!

SPIRAL

The Mind Electric by Miracle Musical

Discord by The Living Tombstone

Crazytown from 35MM: A Musical Exhibition

Who's Crazy/My Psychopharmacologist and I from Next to Normal

Spiraling Shape by They Might Be Giants

SLAUGHTER

Culling of the Fold by The Decemberists

This is Why We Fight by The Decemberists

Courage Knows No Bounds by Heather Alexander

Ready to Die by Andrew WK

Ballroom Blitz by Sweet

The Ballad of Sara Berry from 35MM: A Musical Exhibition

Three-Five-Zero-Zero from Hair

Poisoning Pigeons in the Park by Tom Lehrer

Murder, Murder! by American Murder Song

Peacemaker by The Mechanisms

HUNT

The Mariner's Revenge Song by The Decemberists

Blood and Thunder by Mastodon

Catch You by Sophie Ellis-Bextor

One Way Or Another by Blondie

A Confession by PhemieC

Getting Into Knives by The Mountain Goats

FLESH

Body Terror Song by AJJ

We Started This Op'ra Shit from Repo: The Genetic Opera

A Little Priest from Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

64 Little White Things by Cake Bake Betty

Final Form by Everything Everything

END

The Ballad of Jane Doe from Ride the Cyclone

Leslie Anne Levine by The Decemberists

Dead Girls by Penelope Scott

For The Departed by Shayfer James

The Yawning Grave by Lord Huron

Fall Fair Suite from Ride the Cyclone

Dust and Ashes from Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812

End of Life by Death Spells

EXTINCTION

Feed the Machine by Poor Man’s Poison

Countdown’s Begun by Ozzie Osborn

It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) by R.E.M

Seed Song by The Mountain Goats

Welcome to the Internet by Bo Burnham

We Will All Go Together When We Go by Tom Lehrer

How Bad Can I Be? from The Lorax

DESOLATION

Lucky Sevens by The Mechanisms

No Children by The Mountain Goats

The Dismemberment Song by Blue Kid

The World Ender by Lord Huron

That's Not How the Story Goes from A Series of Unfortunate Events

Arsonist's Lullaby by Hozier

Burn It Down by Daughter

Until It Doesn't Hurt by Mother Mother

World Burn from Mean Girls

CORRUPTION

Dysentery World from The Trail to Oregon

Tongues and Teeth by The Crane Wives

I Love You Like An Alcoholic by The Taxpayers

Sweet by PhemieC

Sticks & Stones by The Pierces

Entomologists by Ghost and Pals

WEB

Candy Store from Heathers the Musical

New Invention by I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Wires by The Neighbourhood

Red Right Hand by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Kiss Me, Son of God by They Might Be Giants

Redesign Your Logo by Lemon Demon

#asks #song tournament

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bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls · 2 months

Note

not to be needy or demanding or anything, but i’m still super curious about more of your thoughts on musicals! you said you had at least 10 more and it’s pretty much all i’ve been thinking about the past two days! 🖤 (thank you for responding to the first one by the way 🥹)

I got busy!

The first time I heard of Julie Taymor, it was when she signed on for what would eventually become the legendary Broadway disaster Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark. I’m not sure, but I think my first Taymor movie was Titus with Anthony Hopkins. (I’ve also seen The Tempest with Helen Mirren as Prospero.) But the movie I’ve watched over and over? Across the Universe, her bold, flawed attempt to turn The Beatles’ oeuvre into something approximating a connected narrative. Evan Rachel Wood is adorably fucked-up —she’s the Jennifer Jason Leigh of her generation— and Jim Sturgess was pretty much born to bring charm to a patchwork character like Jude.

I cannot for the life of me figure out why my parents let me go see The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. I know they were teetering on the edge of divorce and were desperately looking for some Family Activity, but I feel like taking a tween and his little brother to a Dolly Parton/Burt Reynolds musical about cheerful, singing prostitutes was… a choice. I remember being told to cover my eyes every time a tit popped out, but that’s about all the curation they did. I’m being generous to call it a modest work, but Dolly is always a gem, and Burt had more screen charisma than just about anyone on the planet.

Bo Burnham: Inside is the only perfect thing made during the pandemic. It’s not easy to watch… even when it’s fun, it’s not. But the kid’s gifts are just off-the-charts, and he perfectly captures the vibe of 2020 in a series of catchy, depressing, hilarious songs.

I ignored Lin Manuel Miranda for a long time, and when I watched Moana, I felt justified in ignoring him… I almost snoozed through it. But when Disney+ released the recording of Hamilton and everyone else was watching it, I figured “what the fuck, join the herd.” So I did. And I was extremely disappointed for about thirty minutes. This oily little twerp can’t sing! What is this shit?! Then Renee Goldsberry raises her glass, the turntable spins backward, the narrative breaks free, and thirty minutes later, the oily little twerp with the thin voice had me crying. Sure, Jonathan Groff and Daveed Diggs steal the show over and over, but how could they not? LMM gave them gold, and they ran with it.

Jewison’s Jesus Christ Superstar is so fucking ‘70s, I almost feel slapped by all the bell-bottoms. And that fruity, goofy opening on the bus tested my twenty year old patience when I first saw it. But when Carl Anderson’s Judas came roaring on to the screen, I was hooked. Then I realized Yvonne Elliman —whose “If I Can’t Have You” is probably my favorite disco song of all time— was Mary Magdalene and “I Don’t Know How To Love Him” hit, so I was taken from “hooked” to “mesmerized”. I wasn’t instantly in love with Ted Neeley’s Jesus for much of that first viewing, but when he lets loose in Gethsemane… well… Jesus.

The Little Mermaid wasn’t the first musical I loved, but it was the first one I bought. I grew up in a time when Disney animation was basically garbage, with nothing meaningful being produced for decades… and then along came Ariel with her collection of forks, and that sonorous crab. When Disney released it at a then-unheard-of price of twentysomething bucks, I gave it a shot… over and over and over again.

My relationship with The Nightmare Before Christmas is trickier. I don’t deny that it’s good, and I grasp that it has dug its claws deep into the culture, but the music… it’s okay. It’s fun. But I seldom find myself humming a tune.

I’m not going to get all detailed about The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, or Aladdin. They were good. Ashman and Menken kicked ass. I’m not in love with any of them —“Hakuna Matata” was kinda run into the ground at the time— but I acknowledge their value.

I’m running out of steam here, and I’ve already raved about Encanto on the blog, so I’ll close with the thought that “Surface Pressure” is the best Disney song that isn’t about loving something, and it is perfect.

#broken girl film academy #asks

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dannystheone · 1 year

Note

SINCE REQUESTS ARE STILL OPENN MAY I REQUEST A SWITCH!STAN AND SWITCH!KYLE FICCC? MAYBE THEY LIKE DO A DONT LAUGH CHALLANGE OR STUFF PLEASE AND THANK YOUUUU!<33

Alright guys here it is! The moment we've all been waiting for >:) for some reason this fic reminds me of something... (the long-anticipated ruggie fic I never finished lol)

But it's here! I hope you enjoy!

WARNINGS: Kids swearing and foot tickles! (Socks stay on if that helps)

Two Different Types Of Comedy (Lee/Ler Stan and Kyle)

Stan is developing a different taste in comedy while Kyle is still entertained by childish jokes. The two butt heads over which form of comedy is best.

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Lazy Saturdays were always appreciated in South Park. No work, no school, no chores, just doing whatever you wanted. For Stan and Kyle, the best lazy Saturday was sharing a couch, a blanket, and exchanging TikToks with each other.

Stan's parents were gone for the day, so naturally the boys crashed at his place. Snacks littered the floor around the couch as Stan lay on the right side of the couch and Kyle relaxed on the left side. A Terrance and Phillip blanket covered the two boys' legs that were thrown on top of each other's. For some people, this would have been uncomfortable, but the boys have been in this position with each other so many times it's the only way they liked it when it was just the two of them.

Kyle let out a yawn and scratched the back of his head as he scrolled through TikTok. Stan laid on his arm with his arm against the headrest as he scrolled as well.

"Pffmmt- heheheh. Stan- Stan dude, look at this." Kyle shifted on the couch and reached over the blanket to hold his phone up to Stan's face. Stan looked away from his phone to see. "Terrance and Phillip have their own official TikTok now, so they're posting all the best bits they had on the show! Look, it's the one where they fart on the President!" As the living room was filled with fart noises and the TV characters laughing, Stan didn't react.

"Oh...killer." Stan looked back to his phone with Kyle's hand hanging limp in the air. Kyle’s eyebrows furrowed.

"Dude, what the hell? You love Terrance and Phillip. You didn't think it was funny?" Kyle asked. Stan shrugged as he scrolled through his social media.

"I dunno dude, maybe I've seen the bit one too many times. It's not that big of a deal." Kyle laid back on his side of the couch with a quirked lip. Without another word, he kept scrolling through the Terrance and Phillip TikTok page, quietly giggling at the jokes.

"Pfft- hahaha! Oh man, Kyle, you gotta see this!" Stan reached over the blanket to show Kyle his phone. Kyle looked away from his to see. "It's Bo Burnham's newest show on Netflix! Everyone says it's his best one yet! We have to watch it together." Kyle looked at the phone in confusion. It was just a guy doing stand-up.

"Dude Bo Burnham isn't funny? And besides, since when did you start liking him?" Stan's face fell as he took his phone back and shrugged.

"I dunno dude, Terrance and Phillip just aren't that funny anymore. I mean, how many times can you fart on a dude's head and still think it's funny?" Stan questioned. Kyle put his phone in his lap as he splayed his hands.

"Well, what's so funny about Bo Burnham? The only thing I can remember of him is that Jeff Bezos song and that was just it- a song. You're laughing at songs now?" Stan put down his phone as well, getting increasingly agitated.

"It's better than laughing at childish shit like fart jokes and diarrhea all the time! I thought you were the mature one, Kyle. How can you still find that hilarious?" Kyle's mouth went agape as he threw up his hands.

"I don't know dude it's my childhood! It's both our childhood, and you still think it's funny, you just don't want to admit it cause you think you're more superior than the rest of us." Kyle accused.

"I don't think I'm superior! I just wanted to find different stuff to laugh at. Stuff that isn't immature." Stan crossed his arms as Kyle grunted. Kyle hated arguments, he wished there was a way to put a swift end to this.

Stan's leg was wedged between the couch and Kyle's own leg. It was starting to go numb, so Stan shifted on the couch to try and relieve it. A crazy idea shot into Kyle's mind.

Kyle grabbed hold of Stan's ankle and set it on his lap. Stan had his jeans and his black socks on despite the blanket thrown on top of them. Stan tried pulling his leg back, but Kyle had a surprisingly strong grip.

"Dude what the hell are you doing? Get off." Stan warned. Kyle shook his head as he prepped one of his hands while keeping a hold on Stan's ankle.

"You think you're grown up, huh? Not laughing at immature shit anymore? Well let's see how long you last trying not to laugh at the most childish shit on the planet!" Stan's face was a mask of confusion.

"What are you gonna do?" Stan tried pulling his leg back once more, so Kyle trapped his ankle between his own jeaned legs.

"I'm gonna tickle you until you admit that 'childish' stuff is still funny! Because it is!" Kyle growled. Stan's throat jumped in agitation as he angrily brought Kyle's foot into his own lap. Kyle had white socks on for today.

"Fine! Then I'll do the exact same thing! I'll tickle you until you can admit that mature comedy is better than a show four-year-olds can laugh at!" The sudden twist caught Kyle by surprise; his body tingling with anticipation now. But that wouldn't phase him. The boys locked eyes with each other, burning in their resolve.

"I'm. Not. Laughing." Kyle's hand gripped Stan's ankle with determination.

"Neither. Am. I." Stan replied with certainty.

"First one to laugh wins the argument."

"So be it."

After a moment's breath, Stan and Kyle dove into their respective feet; Kyle scribbling up and down Stan's foot while Stan scratched into Kyle's toes. The two boys snorted and held their breath as well as they could. They grit their teeth to bar the laughter from coming out, all of the would-be noises pent up in their chest.

Kyle could feel the scribbles shoot up his leg like electricity. His lips quirked into a forced smile as he slammed his teeth down to prevent any laughter from coming out. Stan tried not to think about Kyle's fingers rippling into his arch, because the more he thought about it the more it tickled. Stan huffed and kept his mouth shut.

"I'm- pffmmt- I'm not gonna- lose!" Kyle forced out, having to take a break between each word to not let a laugh loose. Stan was having a more difficult time speaking. His leg was jolting with every touch Kyle delivered to it, and he would admit that Kyle had method. Kyle's fingers swirled from his heel up to his toes and down into his ball and arch in careful movements despite being tickled himself. Stan just tickled anywhere he could reach.

"I-hehee- I'm not- lohosing eheither!" Stan's eyes winced as he dug his nails into Kyle's arch. Kyle's leg jumped as he snorted and set his jaw against his laughter. The two boys were starting to sweat with this exertion. It felt like the seconds that passed that they didn't laugh, all the more it tickled.

"Juhust- Just gihive up duhude! I'm- urgh- I'm gohonna win!" Kyle forced out between grit teeth. Stan shook his head defiantly and kept up his haphazard method of tickling. Kyle gained a sense of resolve and started scribbling his fingers up and down Stan's foot from toes to heel. Stan jumped on the couch and tried pulling his leg back, but Kyle's grip was strong.

"N-Nehehever!" Stan started laughing in his throat, it sounded like he was choking, but he tried swallowing the sounds as well as he could. He was becoming weak; Kyle's grip was stronger and his method was better. Stan decided to replicate Kyle's method and set Kyle's ankle in his left hand and scraped his nails top to bottom on Kyle's foot. Despite this being Kyle's method, it was very effective against him. Kyle's fingers stilled as he shifted on the couch.

"Mmph! Hmhmhmhm! Stahan quit!" Kyle's back slid forward on the couch, giving Stan more of Kyle's ankle in his grip. Stan quickly used this reprieve as Kyle stopped tickling him to tickle all over Kyle's foot, from his ankle to the top of his foot as well. Kyle's toes curled up as he snorted and tried to breathe his laughter away.

"Face it dude, I won! Now admit that mature comedy is better!" Stan dug his fingers into Kyle's toe spaces, which made Kyle laugh through his nose in a big sputtering noise. Kyle hid his face with his arms as his face turned red from exertion.

"You should see your face, dude-"

"Boys? I'm home." Stan's mom Sharon walked in through the front door with her hands full of groceries; Stan's fingers stilling against Kyle's foot. Kyle held a hand to his beating heart as he breathed in deep and laid limp on the couch.

"Oh uh- hi Mom. We're just hanging out." Stan said awkwardly.

"Oh? And what are you up to?" Sharon listened to the boys as she carried the groceries into the kitchen. Kyle shot up on the couch, catching Stan by surprise.

"Getting Stan to admit that Bo Burnham sucks!" Kyle declared and grabbed hold of Stan's foot to scribble his fingers into the arch. Stan stared bewildered at Kyle before his face lit up in his laughter. Stan held his belly with both arms in his laughs while Kyle scratched his socked foot with his nails.

"Pfft- ahahahaha! Duhuhuhude you cheheheheated!" Stan kicked his leg while it still lay in Kyle's hand. Kyle let go immediately as Stan laughed.

"HA! I got you, you bastard! Now admit it! Admit that Terrance and Phillip are funny!" Kyle crossed his arms in his victory. Stan breathed out as he sat up slowly on the couch.

"Duhude, I never said they weren't funny. I was just saying that I wanted to find different stuff to laugh at. I don't want to rely on just Terrance and Phillip for a laugh, you know? And I think if you have different things to laugh at, it kind of preserves the comedy of the show because you're not watching that comedy all the time, you know?" Stan explained. Kyle had a thoughtful face on.

"Yeah, I see what you're saying. Terrance and Phillip do get a little stale now and then. I mean, how many times can you go around farting on people and each other? Wouldn't you get sick of farts after a while?" Stan's face lit up as Kyle understood him.

"Yes, exactly! And we don't even have to watch Bo Burnham, he's just the first guy that got recommended to me on Netflix. There's a ton of stuff to watch!" Kyle grabbed the TV remote and clicked the TV.

"Come on, let's find something to-"

"Oh no, boys. I'm gonna need you to clean up all this mess." Sharon walked back into the living room and pointed out all the snacks and food that littered the floor. "Your father is coming home soon and I don't want him walking into a messy house."

"Aw man- this sucks." The boys slowly got off the couch and started picking up trash.

"This is what I get for wasting time listening to you say that Terrance and Phillip are better than Bo Burnham." Stan said under his breath.

Kyle shot him a look. "What did you say?"

#south park #south park tickles #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #danny writes #lee kyle #lee stan #ler kyle #ler stan

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whatsnewalycat · 2 years

Text

Just Dumb Enough to Try

Chapter 20: The Chicken

Word Count: 4k+

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Tags / CW: NO REAL HARM HAS BEEN DONE TO JUDY I PROMISE, swearing, cheating/infidelity, smoking, domestic abuse, crying, soft and fluffy javi, giving javi shit is my favorite past time, unprotected PIV sex, clitoral stimulation, jealousy, pregnancy test, pregnancy in general, what's in the fucking box, motherfucker is scheming

Chapter Summary: Our heroes have tunnel vision as they finally come to an agreement on an important decision.

Notes: Chapter title from "The Chicken" by Bo Burnham. Things are happeniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing with our main character and Javi, y'all. How exciting! And terrifying!! I'm gonna be sappy for a second here. This story almost has 100 kudos on AO3 and I almost have 100 followers here, which might not seem like a big deal, but it's very exciting to me. Because of mental health things and stuff, I didn't write for over a decade before I started this story. I honestly love it so much, and every day I'm grateful that any one single person that wants to read any one single thing I write. It's been incredible. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I appreciate you more than you could know. And I can't wait to write more, even when this story is over (probably Pedro fics because I'm a sucker for his characters). Anywho. Back to our regularly scheduled programming!

[ Masterlist for Series ] [ Taglist ] [ Spotify Playlist ] [ AO3 ]

151 Fir St N, Laredo, TX July 27, 1998

“What’s wrong?” Javi answers when he picks up on the second ring.

Momentarily, you wonder how he knows something is wrong. Then you realize it’s not even 8 am on a Monday morning, which is an unusual time for you to call. Also, you haven’t talked to him since you both departed your house yesterday morning, despite his urging you to call when you got back from the airport. It really wasn’t intentional, though. When you returned, you were so overwhelmed by what you found, it sent you ass over teakettle mentally, until… well, until now.

“Gone,” your voice is warped and nasally when you respond, “My paintings, my movies, my art supplies. He got rid of it all. An- an- and- Fuck, Javi, Judy is gone.” your body shakes as you heave a deep breathe inward, exacerbating the aching in your chest. It summons a fresh well of hot tears, and you choke out, “She’s gone. It’s all gone. Who fucking does that?”

“You don’t know what he did with her, I assume?” his voice remains neutral and steady.

“No,” you squeak, inhale a shattered breath, then try to talk through your ugly crying, “I t-tried to talk to him, ask him what he did with her, but h-he looks right through me like I don’t even exist.”

Javi is silent on the other end. Probably occupied by the gears turning in his head as he tries to get a grasp on the situation.

You, on the other hand, have been stewing in the wake of Dan’s actions for almost 24 hours, and your thoughts on the matter are spilling out of your mouth with vitriol, “It’s a punishment. He took the only things I liked in this fucking hell hole, and he fucking knows it. He wants me to be miserable.”

Javier responds to your bitter assumptions with a softly spoken question, “What do you want to do?”

Not a demand. Not a decision made on your behalf. Just…

What do you want to do?

“I want to see you,” you whimper as his delicacy soothes the anger flaring within you, “I don’t want to be here.”

So he drops what he’s doing to come pick you up.

When he gets to your house, he finds you moping in a blanket burrito on the couch. Your eyes are red and puffy, staring at one of Judy’s toys on the floor. Wordlessly, he sinks into the couch and beckons you closer. The stagnant tears resume when you unwrap yourself and climb into his lap. He holds you tight, burying his nose in your hair as you work through this wave of grief. When your breath starts to settle, he murmurs, “You wanna get out of here?”

You sniffle and nod, then get up to get your purse.

—

“I’m going to be pretty busy today, but just help yourself to whatever you need, ok?” Javi informs you gently. You’re tangled together in his bed, lulled into a sense of security as you cuddle. The thump-thump that powers his body sounds beneath your ear, hypnotizing you as you write love notes on his belly. He’s playing with your hair and watching your fingers dance across him.

“Does Pickles have to work, too, or can he stay with me?” you murmur.

“He has to work,” he squeezes your shoulder sympathetically as he breaks the news, then resumes playing with your hair.

You blow a raspberry, “That’s ok. I’ll probably just take a nap. I couldn’t sleep last night. Maybe I’ll snoop through your room for a book or something.”

“Oh yeah?” he chuckles, smiling down at you.

“If that’s ok with you. Is there any area I need to avoid?” you ask, wiggling around to make eye contact with him.

He frowns and raises an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“Oh, I mean, like… are there any places or things in your room that you consider private? Just so I don’t accidentally, you know, invade your privacy,” you stumble.

He hums in acknowledgment, then tilts his head as his eyes search the room, finally admitting, “There’s a notebook in my nightstand. I write notes to people that I never send, things I’m trying to process, stuff like that.”

This brings a huge smile to your face. You stroke his sandpapery cheek and coo, “I love that.”

“Everything else is fine, but that’s something I’d prefer no one read,” he runs a hand over his face and shrugs, and you swear you can see him blush.

“Noted,” you trace his lips with your thumb as you hum the song stuck in your head, then stop and chuckle, “No pun intended.”

He looks down to your mouth, then meets your eyes and quirks an eyebrow. Your fingers ghost down to his chin and you pull him in for a kiss. It’s delicate and it lingers sweetly on your lips. When he pulls back and sighs, you know that he’s bidding you farewell.

You pout, “Do you have to go?”

The pad of his thumb scrapes against your cheek, then he rumbles, “I’ll be back before you know it.”

Once you hear the back door slide shut, announcing his departure, you stand up and tiptoe over to his desk, eyeing a stack of books. A black ballpoint pen lies across the page of an open notebook. Javier’s cursive handwriting is scrawled on the page. Angular, sharp, and heavy handed. Practically illegible, but you can make out most of the words.

How fitting.

You flip to the next page and doodle a cartoon version of the two of you holding hands. Maybe the next time he’s sitting here, brain buried in a cold case or writing letters or whatever, he’ll turn the page and it will make him smile. With a sigh, you flip the page back, hiding your gift to him. Focus returns to the book stack. You grab one that catches your eye, then burrow under his covers.

The bedroom door squeaks open a few hours later, when you’ve burned through a considerable portion of the book, getting lost in the tale of a retired FBI agent turned private detective solving a mystery in a small Colorado town. Your stomach feels sour and angry, but you’ve had moderate success distracting yourself with the novel. You save your spot as he sits at the edge of his bed and asks, “How are you doing?”

“Emotionally? Better. Physically? I feel like I’m on day 2 of a hangover,” you groan and roll onto your side to face him, clutching your belly and mumbling, “It’s so comfy in your bed, though. Smells like you. I like it. And I’m getting super into this book.”

He hums, closing your hand in his as he eyes the book, rubbing a thumb against you affectionately, “The Corpse of Cloud Creek.”

“It’s really corny, but I need to know what happens.”

“I’m hooked on those old mystery novels. Just finished that one, actually,” he admits, then squeezes your hand, “You hungry?”

It dawns on you that you haven’t felt like eating since yesterday, which is probably why you’re so fucking nauseated. Or maybe it’s because you’ve been crying for what seems like forever. Or both. You sit up and wince as your head spins, “Yeah I definitely need to eat something.”

After lunch, you mosey around the ranch with your sketchbook and pencil (the only remaining art supplies you own), stopping to draw things that catch your eye, while the Peñas keep themselves busy. Every once and a while you wander into the barn to check in with Javi and see if they need anything, helping out when the stubborn men actually let you. When Javi comes to tell you he’s done for the day, you’re sitting on the bough of a tree, sketching a baby cow who’s frolicking in the pasture.

“What the fuck are you doing up there?” he squints up at you from the base of the sprawling oak tree, shading his eyes from the sun.

You peer down at him and shrug, “Drawing. It’s nice up here, come see.”

“You want me to climb a fucking tree?” he raises his eyebrows at you and plants his hands on his hips.

“If your jeans are too tight to climb a tree, you can just say that, baby, it’s ok,” you tease from your perch.

The way he looks up at you makes you burst out laughing. Just… mouth agape, tongue in cheek, eyebrows raised as far as they go. He tries to formulate an adequate response to your shit talking, but comes up short.

You cover your giggling face with your hand then call down with a coo, “I love you.”

He shakes his head, then, out of (what has to be) pure spite, he climbs up the tree to sit next to you. The old oak tree is wide and rambling with thick boughs, strong enough to support a dozen more people. He peaks over at your sketchbook and his arm slips around your waist. You feel his lips and mustache press against your bare shoulder, making your heart skip a beat.

“How are you feeling now?” he asks, voice low and quiet, words tickling your skin as they exit his mouth.

You slide your pencil into the spine of your sketchbook and turn to him with a defeated sigh, “I’m dreading going back there, if I’m being honest.”

“My offer still stands,” his thumb rubs against your side. His eyebrows are drawn together. Puppy dog eyes looking up at you, tugging at your heart strings.

As you bite the inside of your cheek, you stare down at your bare feet dangling in the air, “Did you mean it, though?”

“Of course I did, cariño,” he huffs, then tilts your chin so you meet his eyes, “Trust me.”

You search his face and listen to the reaction within yourself. Where you expect to hear a pessimist scolding you for even considering this… there’s only a soft-spoken plea for you to take a leap of faith.

Trust him.

Deep breath in, deep breath out, then you nod, “Ok. Ok, yes, let’s do it.”

151 Fir St N, Laredo, TX July 29, 1998

“It’s open!” you holler from the kitchen, projecting your voice towards the front door. A blast of heat slaps the shit out of your face when you open the oven to pull out the hotdish. The front door swings open, closes, then a moment later Javi walks into the kitchen, holding a bouquet of white roses, lavender, and white gardenias.

You smile from ear-to-ear, pulling off your oven mitts to accept the gift. His hands cup your cheeks as he draws his lips to yours in a kiss hello. When he tries to pull away, you set the flowers on the counter and then wrap your arms around his neck to bring him close again, arching your back towards him. There’s heat in the kiss, velvet tongue running along yours as he backs you against the kitchen counter. He helps you up onto it so you can wrap your legs around him.

Your fingers slide from his neck to his chest, then start unbuttoning his shirt, lips never leaving his. He shrugs the shirt off completely and you splay your fingers across his chest, humming with contentment, savoring the heat from his body on your palms. A tug at your shirt reminds you that it’s your turn, so you reluctantly pause the making out to pull the shirt over your head and toss it onto the floor.

He pulls you against his chest, and your heart flutters. Endorphins flood your brain as you register the warmth of his body against yours, quenching your thirst for skin-to-skin contact. He smells like the love of your life, and you inhale deeply before meeting his gaze and recognizing the molten need in his eyes. The sound of his ragged breath is all you can hear. It’s all you want to hear.

You close your lips on his neck, latching on to the sensitive skin. There’s a rumble deep in his throat as he tips his head to allow better access, which you greedily accept, digging your heels in to get closer to him. You flatten your tongue against his collarbone, licking up his jugular, relishing the salty bite of sweat on your tongue. He gasps and buries a hand in your hair, then uses his grip to leverage your mouth against his again.

“Fuck me,” you whisper between messy kisses.

He licks the words from your mouth and mumbles, “Hello to you, too,” as if he isn’t already yanking your pants off. The buckle of his belt rings out in the otherwise quiet kitchen, and he shuffles his pants off, throwing them in a pile on the linoleum. Now you’re both nude in your kitchen. There’s something intimate about it that you adore. Conversely, the utter depravity of being openly fucked by your lover on the kitchen counter makes your skin flush and your pussy clench.

Goosebumps prick your skin when his fingers slide around your waist and the head of his cock nudges at your entrance, smearing around your slick.

“Fuck, Javi,” you breathe into him, drawing your eyebrows together, seconds away from begging him to do it. He holds his lust-blown eyes steady on yours as he sinks in, splits you open, soft moans fluttering from his lips while your face contorts with pleasure. Your nerve endings light up inside and bliss flows through you, head to toe, like a river.

A few languid thrusts warm you up and adjust you to his size before you rut your hips against his impatiently, trying to shift him into second gear. He reads your needy body language and skips it completely, then starts to fuck you fast and hard. Your fingernails dig into his shoulders as you shudder, shockwaves of ecstasy amplifying throughout your body. A sick wet slapping sound echos off the walls, adding fuel to your desire, making you writhe and whine. His thumb finds your clit and starts to thrum at a steady pace.

“Jesus, fuck- oh that’s so fucking good,” you breathe.

He groans your name and whispers in a rumble, “You like how I fuck you, baby girl?”

Your mouth is ajar as you look up through your eyelashes, into his hot black eyes, and nod frantically, “I do, fuck, I love it-“

“If I ever see another man touching you again, I’ll cut his fucking hands off and shove them down his throat,” he growls. This must be something he’s been holding close to his chest, avoiding since he witnessed Dan kissing and touching you. You remember the tortured way he fought with himself when he saw it. Like he was holding back from doing exactly what he explains now.

The sudden possessiveness makes the fire inside you grow, rippling from your pussy to your ears, making them ring. You let your head hang loosely back as you start to babble, “N- nobody touches me but you. I don’t let him touch me, Javi, I’m yours.”

A shudder racks your body, and you tilt your pelvis at an angle that allows his cock to rub against that perfect fucking spot that makes you sweat and pant. He groans and curses under his breath.

The low hum of static electricity in your belly grows louder, pulling whimpers from your throat. He’s working at exactly the right frequency and speed, and he breathes against your lips, “That’s right, you’re mine. My cariño. My princess. My baby girl. My little slut. Isn’t that right?”

Moans bubble out of you as you nod and gasp, “Fuck yes, that’s right-“

His lips cut you off, catching your whimpers in his mouth when he rolls his tongue against yours. You promise him between messy kisses, “I- I love you. No one- no one else- touches me- if you want me- that way-”

The buzzing of passion starts to boil over, expanding from that spot deep in your center, flooding into every corner of your being, then your body contracts and convulses around him, milking him dry as he spills inside you with a choked moan.

The rigid muscles in your bodies start to liquefy and you feel gelatinous as you soak in the post-orgasm closeness of his heaving chest pressing against yours. Your ear on his pulse, you hear the frantic thumping slow to a regular rhythm. Even then you don’t want to let him go. He kisses your forehead, causing you to stir. When you look up at him, he’s smiling down at you boyishly, “Hi.”

The smile travels to your dazed face and you respond with a drowsy, “Hi.”

“Smells good in here, what did you make?”

“Tater tot hotdish,” you answer. He offers a hand to help you down off the counter, which you reluctantly take, then he assists you in getting dressed again. You know he’s trying to keep you on schedule, but you secretly wish he would have stayed there, glued against you, forever. His ability to calm your body and soul just by pressing his body to yours, as if he’s a healing stone, never fails to astonish you. Once you’re both decent, you point to a cupboard, “Hey can you grab a vase out of there for me, please?”

“For the flowers?”

You nod in response and thank him when he does as you asked, picking a simple clear bouquet vase. He grabs your kitchen sheers and starts trimming the bottoms of the stems off. While he’s doing that, you cut portions of the hotdish, set out plates and forks, then go to the turntable to sift through your record collection.

“Fleetwood Mac ‘Rumors’ or Etta James ‘At Last!’?” you ask as he’s setting the beautiful blooms into the vase.

“Oooh tough choice,” he sucks his teeth, placing his hands on his hips, “Etta James.”

“You got it, handsome.”

Javi pads silently across the linoleum floor as you put the record on, and you jump in surprise when his hands slip around your waist from behind you.

He nuzzles into the crook of your neck, lips parted as they press against your pulse. A shiver trembles down your back and you lay your hands on top of his. His hips sway to the music and you follow his lead, letting the melody slip from your lips as you sing along quietly, “And my heart cried, ohhh- ohhhh- ohh, I love you so…”

When the song fades out, you take a deep breath, so content being here in his arms.

It’s been a difficult last couple of days. This is the last night you’ll sleep in this house. You’ve spent all day going through your belongings to figure out what comes with you tomorrow morning. Every moment here is spent in suspense, hoping you’re not here long enough for Dan to hurt you more. But right now, you feel safe because you’re wrapped up in Javier like your favorite blanket. You’re home.

—

After dinner, you smoke a cigarette as the sun sets. The vivid cerulean sky transforms, a moving oil painting of amber, coral, indigo, and sapphire, spotted with rosy cotton candy clouds. Cigarette smoke wafts into your face, and your nose crinkles as the stench churns your stomach. You grind the offending party against the ground.

“What’s on your mind?” Javi asks. The two of you are lying out in a matching pair of folding beach chairs, smack dab in the middle of the back yard.

The question settles in your belly like a brick, and you proceed clumsily, “I’m nervous. I have to pack so much shit still. I really need to find my car title and birth certificate,” you sigh, “And, you know, just… I feel like he’s not, um, going to take this well.”

There’s that other thing that’s been gnawing away at you, though. The thing that feels like a brick in your belly.

When you went to take you birth control pill on Monday, you realized you were three days into sugar pills without getting your period. With everything that’s been happening, you figured it was just delayed. You’ve felt like shit since Sunday, which you could dismiss as a hangover for one day, maybe two… but it’s been four days of nausea and aversion to particular scents and tastes.

This afternoon, you couldn’t stand not knowing any more, so you took a break from packing and went to a drug store. The cashier, some tiny old bluehair with a southern accent more Mississippi than Texas, gave you a knowing smile, all acrylic and porcelain, as she rang up the 2-pack of pregnancy tests. You read and re-read the instructions as you paced up and down your hallway, telling yourself that just because the test indicated two lines right away, it might change. After all, the box says to wait five minutes after peeing on the stick.

You waited the five minutes. Then five more, just in case. The results didn’t change. Two lines. Pregnant.

Another test. Another two lines. Pregnant.

“Oh, fuck me,” you sighed out loud to yourself, then tossed them in the trash can and washed your hands.

Everything you know about Javi suggests that he will probably react positively, and maybe even be excited if you’re pregnant. But like. Fuck. Fuck. He didn’t want it to be like this. He didn’t want to go this fast. Fucking birth control pills. You want to tell him and it’s eating you alive, but tell yourself that maybe you should keep your thoughts to yourself for once. At least wait until you’re done packing up and leaving your fiancé. This is a lot all at once.

“It’ll all work out, don’t worry,” he extinguishes his cigarette in the grass.

Once inside the house again, you start rummaging through boxes in the office to find your car title and birth certificate. There’s a shoe box labeled “Computer Stuff” that you pull from a shelf in the closet. It seems like it won’t have the documents, because it’s a fucking shoe box labeled computer stuff, but you have a habit of putting things in weird places, so you open the lid anyway.

A lightening bolt shoots through your heart.

Money. Thousands of dollars. A passport, which you open. It has Dan’s photo in it, but the name adorned on it is Robert McCaffery. There’s a second passport, with your photo in it. Melissa McCaffery.

“What the fuck,” you whisper.

Javi glances up from the file cabinet he’s flipping through and furrows his brow, “What?”

You tilt the box so he can see. He stands up with a grunt and takes it from you, sifts through its contents, then tosses it down on the computer desk and stares at it like it contains a riddle. And, you suppose, it does. He runs his hands over his face.

“Whattaya think?” you cross your arms in front of yourself and study his face.

“I think that box fucking reeks to high heaven,” Javi scoffs, then shrugs, “You should take the money and that counterfeit passport, though.”

“You think he’ll know?”

“Yeah, but who gives a shit? How much money did he take from your bank account?”

You chew the inside of your cheek. Javi kneels down by the file cabinet and continues to search, dismissing the weird shoe box. You turn to him, “Why the fuck would he have a fake passport and a stash of money?”

“I can think of a few reasons, and they’re all bad news,” he mutters, “Not going to be your fucking problem soon, though,” then he pulls out a piece of paper from the file cabinet, “Birth certificate,” then a second paper, “title to your car. What’s next?”

You consult your mental checklist, trying to push aside the image of the box filled with cash and fake identification, not knowing how fucking critical it would be for you to do exactly the opposite.

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