#that we're having

[wild-at-mind]

Talked with some of my friends from [redacted activist group], they are all cis and middle aged or older. We were getting coffee and chatting and someone brought up kids in schools being taught about gender identity. And I was like :S but pretty soon I downgraded to :/ I guess, because it became clear that while all of them didn’t really understand it, they clearly wanted to.

The first thing that kept coming up was a fixation on how many genders there are, I said well, infinite, and one of them said no there are 8, and another was like ‘no, there’s 12′. I said why so specific and one of them said they had seen a list of x many. I was trying to figure out how to explain that the specific number/names for genders people use doesn’t necessarily matter. I think this is harder concept to grasp for outsiders to this world than we realise. I wanted to say that each name for a gender may be used by different people to mean vastly different things, and by the same metric people can invent their own, and a small number of those made their way onto the list, but I was kind of worried it might make things seem more vague and confusing. The whole thing had the same energy as when people google ‘what is the difference between bi and pansexual’ and wanted a solid definite answer when there just isn’t one. But I do sympathise because people like solid answers for things! I know I do. x means this and y means that, that’s awesome! Simple messaging is great but we just don’t have it by design. I’m not really sure what the solution is but empathy for people who come to these ideas in good faith but confusion is important I think. The whole thing came up because one man mentioned that a friend of his had a child who was doing a lesson on gender stuff during lockdown, and because it was home learning his father had seen the some kind of list of genders and been confused by it. I was a bit :S again because it sounded a bit like some right wing idea telephone thing, and we all know how often ‘my friend’ is actually ‘someone online said it’. This is in England and I think there has been a curriculum addition for primary school children about gender identity, which some right wingers who pretend to be feminists are very ‘concerned’ about, so I have no reason to believe it’s an entirely made up boomer facebook meme. The gender identity stuff in these lessons is taught alongside early sex-ed stuff that no one should be obecting to-teaching kids which parts of their bodies are private etc. (Personally, I think it’s great for self esteem to teach kids that their interiority and identity matter from a young age, as someone who only found out their interiority mattered at like 25.) I think it can’t be underestimated how weird and confusing the whole supposed ‘feminists vs trans people culture war’ sounds to outsiders when they go in with no knowledge. It’s not as clear cut right and wrong as people within it seem to think. Another man said it seemed like the two groups were talking past each other. His wife talked about remembering a time when women’s spaces didn’t exist and had to be fought for, and not as a ‘keeping trans women out’ thing. She didn’t say the last part, that was my added thought. I’m continually thinking about how things that are transphobic dogwhistles now had a completely different context going back only a few decades. And I feel like if we don’t learn the history of our movements, this will all be forgotton. These movements still matter, even if in the present they wouldn’t work. We all exist in the world these movements built. (For the record, I’m not exactly sure what she meant by female only spaces in this context. Presumably not changing rooms or toilets as that would make gender neutral bathrooms some kind of weird regression. It is true that the feminist tactic of consciousness raising was focused on bringing women together, that was probably before her time but maybe she’s referring to something similar.)

Her husband talked about his nephew, who is genderfluid, picketing to have a university professor fired because she did research on sex and gender. (He didn’t say the professor’s name so I can’t look more deeply into what this research actually was, or judge if her approach seemed benign or deliberately in bad faith.) Anyway this guy said ‘I just don’t understand the need to do that-’ and his wife cut in like ‘haha when we were younger we were working to deplatform people for supporting the regime in South Africa!’ and he was like ‘...yeah that’s true. I see so much of myself in [nephew].’ It was sweet. (Also great reminder that deplatforming is not something millenials or gen z invented despite what you might hear.) I said that as I got further into my 30s I was losing the very black and white sense of morality I had in my 20s rapidly. I feel more and more that we need to meet people where they are, unless they are actively malicious or acting in bad faith. I didn’t go too far into my own identity. I’m completely closeted outside of certain circles, and until I come out officially as far as I’m concerned talking about my own gender identity is like talking about my religious belief would be if I had one- too personal for casual conversation. I have no idea how they see me- I imagine as a woman with short hair who never wears anything feminine. It doesn’t bother me currently but maybe it will change if I ever come out. People who are outwardly ok with GNC people can suddenly become all weird with the concept of pronouns changing- I imagine because it asks something from them, however small.

Anyway I don’t know what the point of writing this was, except to try and express that I think maybe some older people who don’t happen to have a trans relative need some gender identity 101 classes- this is completely not facetious. There are many people trying to understand and I wish people in the know would differentiate that more from malicious lack of understanding.

#gender #feminism #lgbtq #gender identity #i know this isn't entirely generational btw i know nonbinary people of the same generation as them #but though i don't know for sure i suspect they didn't come to this realisation when they were young it was further into this 'movement' #that we're having #i'm fascinated btw by the massive wave of nonbinary people who i am told are in schools right now #we'll see what happens and i will be interested to see myself slowly age into being the completely clueless one! #but on the plus side- since i decided i would probably transition one day i've been able to see a future for myself #i used to just not be able to imagine myself getting older

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Must be a Sugondese joke.

#dungeon meshi #chilchuck tims #laios touden #senshi #Looks like I won't be able to post this on dungeon meshi thursday so instead I will have a fun past/future conversation #This is wednesday me who has not seen the episode yet but I have such a strong feeling that it is going to be extremely special. #*This* fight is what the first arc has been building up to and it has *so* many incredible moments. #We're going to see the chilchuck knife throw! The leg sacrifice! The bones! #Watch them ramp up the quality this episode and go wild with the frantic action of 'oh god our plan is going to shit'. #Hello. Me of the future who just watched the episode. #I knew it was going to be good but that...that blew my mind completely. My high expectations were beyond met. My god. #I'm just speechless at how well they handled everything. The leg. The tension. That ENDING. #If you have not already: PLEASE watch Dungeon Meshi.

[mrtequilasunset]

Listen man, you guys can't be like "you guys need to be normal about asexuality" and then turn around and get weirdly judgemental when you find out someone doesn't have sex by choice. Like that's weird that some of you do that.

#like I love sex im glad we're hyping it up #but also genuinely some of you have got to learn how to be normal around people who dont want to have sex #even if you're not talking about asexuality when you say stuff like that you're still being a weirdass #im not ace myself but i keep seeing posts that come across like they're taking it personally that other people don't want to have sex #it sounds like theyre trying to prove something to someone

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

god i love my friends. shout out to people who love their friends. this is a post for friend lovers

#sorry i thought too hard about everything and got weirdly emotional like hgoly shit #i talk to people here every day and we know stuff about each other and shit and we exchange ideas and waaa #we're like all basically penpals but better #im realizing how revolutionary this is. like had we all been born earlier we never would have met #and even if we did we'd have to talk through letters with weeks if not months in between responses #can you imagine that #every day instead i literally wake up and my friends are there #insane #i love having friends

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

Also increasingly aware that a LOT of people "manage" getting through the 40+ hour work week by sleeping less than is healthy and relying on stimulants like coffee and energy drinks to keep them going.

For people who are unwilling or unable to do this...work really does just dominate your life. Like we really should not have to rely on unhealthy practices just to have a social life or keep on top of housework or whatever.

I know I post about this a lot but I'm so TIRED all the time and it's just so depressing that this is how we're expected to spend the one life we have.

#i have to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night to even barely function #with sleep #getting ready for work #commute #cooking #and errands #I typically have maybe 2-3 hours to actually do what i want in a day #and I'm usually too tired to actually do the things i want to do #and that's with a very short commute #if i actually had a long commute I'd basically do nothing but work #i see my friends like once every few weeks or months #because we're all so fucking busy with work and have such little time for socialising #and none of us even have kids or anything!!

[precariouswizardry]

#if i have a specific flask for ONE POTION and the apprentice ignores the system its on them #stop talking down to alchemists like we're dumb #go ahead and wave your sticks at each other while i bottle pure imagination and turn it into a bomb #shadow wizard money gang #wizard posting #wizardcore #pondering orb #potions #shadow wizard grindset #casting spells

[xmascritter]

Honey, what's tommorow again?

#ides of march #march 15th #julius caesar #tumblr holidays #caesar #thank you for 10k notes #guys we're fully out of april and past dannypocolypse. we're approaching homestuck day. why does this have 17k notez.

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

#Sir Crocodile #Monkey D Dragon #Emporio Ivankov #Dragodile #Crocodad #My art #One Piece #We're not gonna talk about the work I should be doing rn I have Severe Procrastinitis and I'm doing my best okay #Alternative version where it was both Crocodile and Garp beating Dragon's ass before Iva-chan joined in but that was too much effort lmao #I'm a believer in Dragon being a Wind Logia so don't worry guys he is 100% taking this beating intentionally #He knows what he did and he's dealing with the concequences of his actions. With grace. #You know I realize Iva-chan should be two whole meters taller than Crocodile but we're just gonna ignore that #Look Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and being like ''Crocoboy is right you fucked up bad Dragon'' brings me joy #And for real I've been wanting to draw this for months. But never did because I had other shit to do. Which I still do #But. You know. Sometimes you need to draw a shitpost. It's ✨ self-care ✨ #And appearently One Piece shitpost comics have become the thing I draw for myself on occassion

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

unstoppable force (desire to write) vs immovable object (tired)

#writing #on the plus side i did make a decent amount of progress on the thesis #on the minus side it sapped my fic writing energy #also we're having a very loud windstorm but that's unrelated #kvetch oc

[yuwuta]

friends with benefits with nanami wouldn’t work because he would think you deserve better. you think your arrangement is going well, kento has never complained before, and you’re certainly more than satisfied in bed. he’s handsome, strong, kind, generous with aftercare, and really fucking good with his mouth, so there are no complaints on your end. which is why it’s such a surprise to you when kento confesses that he doesn’t like the way he’s been treating you, and no matter how much you insist that it’s fine, and reassure him that he treats you more than well enough, he refuses. 

“but kento, i’m okay with this,” you attempt to convince him that hooking up is enough—he doesn’t need to feel like he has to do more for you, “you’re good to me, and not just in bed. please don’t feel like you owe me more.” 

“you deserve something proper,” he’s adamant, shaking his head, “you deserve more than convenient sex.” 

“but what if this is all i want?” you can’t help but to tease him. he looks awfully cute with his arms crossed, respectful refusal written all over his face, “i think eating me out on a weekly basis is quite enough, it would just be greedy for me to ask for more, don’t you think?” 

your jokes don’t amuse him, but his expression keeps you giggling. still, nanami sighs, and grumbles, “you should want more. it’s not greedy.”

“kento, if i didn’t know any better, i’d think you’re telling me to raise my standards.”

he blinks, cheeks pink with irritation and eyes hollow with tiredness. you push every single one of his buttons and he doesn’t know why, but he would never stop you. maybe that’s where this impeding guilt is coming from—kento likes you, and he doesn’t enjoy feeling like he’s using you, even if you get to use him in return. he doesn’t want your relationship to be transactional, and he doesn’t like that you think such a relationship is okay. 

because, guilt aside, kento knows he wants more of you; he wants all of you. and even if you don’t want him back, he thinks you should know that you’re worth having all of, and nothing less. 

“maybe i am,” he settles, “you are worth more than an occasional hookup. you should be treated better than this, and i am sorry that i have let it go on for this long.”

“this is ridiculous—you’re nothing but good to me! and i like having sex with you. if you don’t want to have sex with me anymore, that’s fine, but—”

“i didn’t say that,” he interrupts. 

“so… you do wanna keep sleeping with me?” 

“yes. but we should go on a date before we continue.” 

“but what if our date is terrible. do we still get to have post-first date sex?” 

he shakes his head, stepping closer to you and holding your forearms before leaning down to kiss your forehead, “i don’t put out on the first date.”

you scoff, taking a half-step closer, snaking your arms around his torso, and grinning up at him, “what a prude.”

at that he smiles, before bending his neck to indulge you in one last kiss. “i’ll pick you up at seven.” 

#kento nanami........ the man that you are #you really could be having perfectly good mind blowing mutually agreed upon fwb sex and he'd be like... no. we're gonna have to date #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk fluff #jjk scenarios #jjk imagines #nanami kento x reader #nanami x reader #kento x reader #nanami smut #nanami fluff #nanami x you #💌.kento

[magnusbae]

To illustrate this post by @mayahawkse I would like to visualize to you the difference:

A post in 2023:

A post in 2014:

A zoom out of the same post:

This is what a community looks like.

See how in 2023 almost all of the reblogs come from the OP, from their few hours/days in the tag search. Meanwhile in 2014 the % of reblogs from OP is insignificant, because most of the reblogs come from the reblogs within the fandom, within the micro-communities formed there. You didn't need to rely on tags, or search, or being featured. Because the community took care of you, made sure to pass the work between themselves and onto their blog and exposed their followers to it. It kept works alive for years.

It's not JUST the reblog/like ratio that causing this issue, it's the type of interaction people have. They're content with scrolling and liking the search engine, instead of actually having a reblogging relationship with other blogs in their community.

Anyways, if you want to see more content you like, the only true way to make it happen is to reblog it. Likes do not forward content in no way but making OP feel nice. Reblogs on the other hand make content eternal. They make it relevant, they make it exist outside of a fickle tumblr search that hardly works on the best of days.

If you want more of something, reblog it.

#i said i wont ever rant about this bc it's unseemly but HONESTLY. #you simply cannot complain about not having enough of A or B or C and then never reblog / interact with the content you love. #If you LOVE something you cannot just leave a like and silently wait for more to happen #I know countless of content creators that simply stopped doing art/writing fic/making edits #You need to understand that fandom content is made FOR the fandom FOR the engagement FOR the entertainment and fun it makes. #If a content creator does not have fun IN the fandom-- why would they spend the scares free time they have on making this content? #And we're not talking about things that you don't like-- no one expects you to reblog things you don't like. #However I think it's safe to say that when a post has more than 5k it's not some random shitpost with no value. #tumblr issues #tumblr #content creators #buns.txt #something something please don't starve your local clowns

[jakeperalta]

letting celebrities think they can and should "use their platform" to speak on all current events and political issues regardless of how educated they are on them was a grave mistake

#i honestly think that's why half of these celebrities are just sharing around these same few wishy washy unhelpful statements #at this point it's a relief when i open an instagram story and it's just a celebrity posting about their regular stuff #like good thank you feel free to just be quiet #or just share some fundraising links if you feel a need to be helpful #but like ultimately if you have a platform of many thousands/millions #then frankly it is your responsibility to make sure what you are sharing is accurate and useful #and not just posting for the sake of posting #but instead somehow we're at the point where the more followers you have the more you are expected to just post something anything #talking

[casmick-consequences]

literally the king of oneliners

[part 2]

#it's about time people start appreciating my boy!!!! he's so FUNNY!!!! #no WONDER lucius wants him carnally #the key to a girl(gn)'s heart is through laughter #also matthew maher is completely and utterly fuckable but we're not ready for that convo #black pete #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #these are just the ones i could think of #PLS add onto this if you have more #matthew maher #ofmd s2 spoilers

[lazylittledragon]

if i had a nickel for every au spawned from twitter that i SWORE i was going to be normal about

#i'd have like. five. which isn't a lot but IT KEEPS HAPPENING #stranger things #platonic stobin #steddie #steve harrington #robin buckley #eddie munson #here we go again boys #i've had this floating in my head for a Minute and i was like #nah i'm not gonna do it #maybe i'll anonymously write a fic #but no we're mombin posting on main #i think on twt we agreed it's a 'what's the worst that could happen' situation #platonic co parents can be so so so personal #also i have One more stobin wip and then bg3 again i swear #when i have a baby i Will be putting my giant black wings on beforehand #they have to know what kind of family they're coming into #cw pregnancy

[tawaifeddiediaz]

you know what boils my blood.

over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."

i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.

but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.

today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.

the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.

so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.

#zee rambles #this isn't to guilt trip anyone #but im so so tired of people coming in and just refusing testing because they want to see grandma or whatever #and on top of that people are avoiding vaccinations and all that too?? #we all lived through the pandemic - everyone saw how many people unfortunately passed away from it #now because of vaccinations and some amount of herd immunity we're finding milder cases in healthy people #but that doesn't mean its gone #that doesn't mean it doesn't have long-term repercussions even in healthy people and that doesn't mean people aren't still dying from it #honestly i just needed a lil rant #and if this helps at least one person??? im all for it #also i can't sleep so here we are spilling thoughts into the voidddd

[ace-of-hail]

It's always, "aces can still have sex" but never, "allos can go without sex"

Kinda makes it feel like aces *have* to be the ones to compromise in allo/ace relationships

#asexuality #asexual #ace #i know we don't have to always compromise but that does kinda feel like we're always the ones who are expected to