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lvis44 · 11 months

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Sweet Escape Pt. 6 // LH 44

Lewis Hamilton x Y/N

Warnings: Swearing, 18+ (mentions of sexual activities), Anxiety, Jealousy, Angst, Mentions of Alcohol, Regret, Emotional Turmoil, Not Edited

Word Count: 4.3k

Summary: Paradise is supposed to be fun and relaxing... a Sweet Escape, but when unspoken feelings and jealousy rise to the surface, everything can be turned upside down in the blink of an eye.

Note: I felt bad leaving you all in pain, not that this will be much better but hey, we're getting there! This part is a tad shorter but I felt that this whole thing should be stand alone. The next part will be the final part of the story, but don't worry there will be an epilogue. I'm glad you have all been enjoying so far and I greatly appreciate everyone's support!

I am not a professional writer and all of this is a work of fiction and is strictly for fun. Enjoy! xxx

Previous Sections: Prologue - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five

It was nearing three in the morning when you heard your door open. The second you had arrived home you had grabbed your stuff out of Charlotte's room and moved back into your old one. You weren’t particularly in the mood to face anyone. You had spent the last few hours quietly sobbing into your knees, balled up on the bed like a child. You had seemingly run out of tears but the sorrow didn’t change. You hadn’t even heard everyone come home, somehow beating them even on foot, you assumed it was because they had to go find everyone else.

“What?” You snapped at whomever had entered your room, not even looking toward the door.

“Hey, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” You heard Miles’ voice from the doorway, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Do I seem fucking okay?” You snapped again, your filter long gone.

He let out a sigh, closing the door behind him softly as he dared to make his way over to your bed, sitting down beside you gently.

“I’m sorry Y/N, it wasn’t fair to you to cause a scene like that.” He says softly, glancing over at you to see you staring into space, your attention fixated on the blank wall to the side of the room.

You scoff, not trying to be rude but unable to control anything that comes out of you, “Well at least one of you knows how to fucking apologize. I’m still mad at you though.”

You hear him sigh again, moving closer to you so he can place a hand on your back, rubbing softly. You don’t even have the energy to flinch away from him, just letting him rest his hand there and enjoying the slightest bit of comfort.

“I know you’re pissed at Lewis, you have every right to be. Don’t kill her but Charlotte kind of filled me in when we got home. He massively fucked up.” His hand continues it’s light circling pattern, “And truth be told so did I. I don’t know why but I constantly feel like I need to protect you and hearing that asshole call you anything other than perfect made me want to kill him, he’s honestly lucky Lewis had half a brain to pull me away from him. I know you can take care of yourself but I’m always gonna look out for you, no matter what. Hence the reason I tried to deck my best friend earlier tonight.”

“I’m sorry, you what?” You whip your head towards him, that last bit of information really catching your interest.

“Yeah, when Charlotte filled me in I was still livid with the whole situation from the bar and finding out what sparked it really pissed me off. It only felt right he get at least a swift kick to the groin. Not to disappoint you but Char stopped me. I’m shocked you didn’t hear us.” He almost sounds like he wants to laugh as he tells you, like he can’t believe the whole situation himself.

“He needs a kick to the groin, taking that thing out of commission for a little while might do everyone some good.” You joke dryly, making Miles laugh next to you.

“If you need me to do it, I’m more than willing.” He offers, only kind of a joke, you feel like if you genuinely asked him to do it, he would, given the circumstances.

“I hate that I can hate him and love him all at the same time. I don’t want to lose him, but this can’t carry on this way.” You confess to Miles.

“I know Charlotte already said this to the both of you, but you guys really need to fucking talk.” He tells you seriously, before adding, “And sober.”

“I know, I know.” You groan, “I’m sorry we’ve managed to fuck up so much of vacation.”

“It’s been much more him than you sweetheart, he brought every ounce of drama himself. I could tell something was up with you over the last few days but I couldn’t really figure out what. I’m sorry it’s him.” Miles brings you in for a side hug, his arm wrapping protectively around you.

“I’m just so fucking sick of it all. I’m so tired.” You tell him, leaning against his shoulder.

“I know, understandably so.” Miles lets out a sigh, holding you in silence for a few moments. “You get some sleep and I’ll check on you in the morning, okay?” He says as he presses a kiss to your temple.

All you do is nod, knowing he’s right.

“I know you’re not all good or anything, but I’m glad you're still here. I was worried you were gonna be at the airport by the time we got home, we freaked for a second when we saw your stuff wasn’t in Charlottes anymore.” He tells you quietly, still not having let you go.

“I just didn’t want to have to face anyone, figured moving back to my old room would be the easiest way.” You just about whisper, feeling your exhaustion catch up to you.

“Well, I’m sorry to have intruded, but I needed to check on you,” Miles says, kissing your forehead one more time before easing you back toward your pillows, “get some sleep hun.”

. . .

You had no idea what time it was when you finally woke up and you have no idea how long you’ve been laying in your bed staring at the ceiling. It has to have been a good hour at this point. You can hear people moving around somewhere in the house, the last thing you want to do is go and interact. You were embarrassed, angry, hurt, and so much more you couldn’t even wrap your head around. You’ve had enough. As you’ve been laying there, more than once you’ve contemplated if you could manage to pack your stuff and sneak out of the house, fly back home without another word. You knew you couldn't and more than likely someone would come track you down the second they knew you were gone, well normally they would. You don’t know what your friends know of the situation. How much did everyone else see, how much had they been told? You knew you should get up and eat something but you had no appetite, anxiety and dread having taken over your body. You lay there going through your thoughts for more than an hour. You want to sit down and talk with Lewis, you need to, but the anxiety of the possible outcome is paralyzing you. What if he confirms your fears, admits that all he’s ever been trying to do is get it your pants? What if now that you’ve shut him down he doesn’t see a reason to keep you around anymore? The rational part of your brain knows that you're overthinking, that your friendship with Lewis still stands on semi solid ground. Maybe there will be some change to how he is around you or how often he’s with you but at the base of it all your still close friends. Lewis knows things about you that your own family doesn’t, he’s been able to read you better than you can read yourself on more than a few occasions, all of that can’t go up in smoke this quickly. Can it?

There’s a soft knock on your door, making you groan. You don’t respond hoping they’ll go away. They don’t, only knocking again and gently pushing the door open. You roll your head to the side, seeing Miles peeking his head into your room, a comforting smile on his face. True to his word, here he was to check on you.

“Good morning,” He says softly, making his way into your room once he sees you’re awake, “I brought you something to eat, you need to get something in you.”

You give him a small smile as he places a tray of fruit and a large glass of ice water on the table next to your bed.

“Thanks.” You croak out, your voice hoarse from crying all night.

“Everybodies in their rooms for the most part if you need to venture out of hiding at any point.” He tells you, knowing you’ve been avoiding everyone, but one person in particular.

You just nod, taking a small sip of the cold water. It feels amazing on your burning throat, as if it’s your first drink of water after a month in the desert.

“What time is it?” You ask, trying to get some bearing on where you are in your life, even if it's just the time of day.

He glances down at the watch on his wrist, “Just before noon.”

It’s still earlier than you thought it was at this point and it fills you with a small sense of dread, there’s so much more of the day to go about trying to avoid everyone.

“You know no ones mad at you, right?” Miles makes sure you know that there’s no hostility facing you in the house.

You just shrug, unsure of how true that actually is and also not quite wanting to admit that it’s more so that you’re embarrassed to even see your friends. There’s another soft knock on the door and you're praying it’s Charlotte, the only other person you could bare being around right now. Much to your dismay, a very tired looking Lewis pokes his head around the door that Miles had left ajar. Your breath hitches, anxiety filling your body.

“Oh, shit, sorry, I’ll um-” Lewis stutters, not wanting to interrupt your chat with Miles.

“All good man, I was just gonna head out anyway.” Miles says, standing from where he had sat on your bed.

You know Miles can sense your anxiety but he gives you a look that says “just get it over with” and heads towards the door. Before he exits he turns back toward you and says “Holler for me if you need anything, alright?”

He whispers something to Lewis as he walks out and you can see a pained expression on Lewis’ face at whatever he said. Once he’s gone, Lewis stands awkwardly in the doorway, not quite being able to look at you as he plays with his hands down in front of him.

“You can come in.” You squeak, not actually fully wanting to say it but knowing it needs to be done.

He finally looks at you, putting his hand on the door as if to close it but you can see the question in his eyes. You nod, not wanting your whole conversation to be heard by everyone in the house. He very gently pushes the door closed, making his way further into your room. He looks around, evidently unsure of what to do with himself. He opts for perching on the edge of your dresser just across from where you sit on the bed, you’re facing each other and you can feel your stomach filling with butterflies, but not the good kind you usually get when you’re around him.

“I owe you an apology, well, multiple apologies.” He finally says, looking down at the ground, ashamed. His voice is hoarse as if he’s just woken up.

You don’t say anything, unsure of what you would even say.

“I’m sorry for the way that I’ve treated you. I’m sorry for not talking to you sooner. I’m sorry that my company embarrassed you in front of everyone. I’m sorry for my behavior last night, all of it. I’ve treated you in a way that if anyone else did the same to you, I would hate them.” He finally apologizes for the last few days, finally looking at you as he does so.

He looks exhausted, much older than usual with bags under his eyes and more scruff than you're used to him allowing.

“Thank you,” you whisper, “and I’m sorry I avoided talking to you too.”

He shakes his head, “It shouldn’t have been on you to fix, I’m the one that fucked up.”

You offer a small smile in his direction. All is not immediately forgiven and this conversation needs to continue, but hearing him acknowledge the reasons he needed to apologize in the first place does your heart some good at the very least.

“Why did you do it?” You ask quietly, your voice timid, not sure you truly want the answer.

He looks surprised by the question, also not quite sure how to respond. He lets out a sigh as he collects his thoughts.

“I know it doesn’t make it right,” He starts, pausing for a moment to make sure his words come across as clearly as possible, “but, it’s been on my mind for a long time. I’m well aware that I went about it all wrong, especially last night, I was incredibly out of line last night, but I’ve thought about it alot.” He cringes at his admission.

You furrow your brow, worried this is going exactly the direction you feared, hoping he will continue.

“I don’t mean for that to sound creepy, but I’ve been really attracted to you for quite a while. I should have made that clear in a much different way. I never want you to feel like I’m trying to take advantage of you in any way, it makes me sick to think that I have ever made you feel like that.” He says, a look of regret on his tired face.

“What I said last night was harsh, my drunk brain just felt like it was the best way to get my point across.” You admit to him.

“But it wasn’t really that harsh, despite it not being intentional, it’s kind of true. What I said on the other hand, that was harsh, I never should have called you a tease or said you indulged in it, it wasn’t fair.” His words are firm, for the first time he’s holding steady eye contact with you, demanding your attention so you feel the remorse in his words.

“I need to be honest, it really hurts that you’re able to treat me like all the other girls you fuck around with, I thought I was more important to you than them.” You quietly admit to him.

“Fuck, you are. So much more important to me.” He says, finally moving from where he’s been leaning on your dresser and cautiously making his way toward where you sit on your bed. He carefully sits next to you, leaving a good distance but making sure he’s near you.

“Then how can you be so okay with chatting up the bar tender, grinding on some random woman, and then still come over and try to fuck me, yet again. All because your ego couldn’t handle me dancing with someone else, when you were doing exactly the same.” You push, needing him to truly understand just how shitty his actions made you feel.

“You’re right, I was jealous. In my ideal world you would have been dancing with me all night, but I knew you wouldn’t have allowed that where we were in our relationship. And then you found that prick and the way you were with him, it just set something off in me. I wasn’t thinking. I know that sounds like a horrible excuse but there was part of me that was hoping I could make you just as jealous as I was, not that you would be when you’ve made it clear you’re not interested, and I should have respected that. Between the alcohol and my ego, I let myself treat you like shit and there’s no excuse for that, I would take it back in a heartbeat if I could.” His face is sincere, you can tell just how much he regrets last night but it doesn’t automatically let him off the hook. He continues “And as for the bartender, I wasn’t chatting her up, she’s an old friend. I’ve never slept with her and never will, she’s like family. I got distracted talking with her and by the time I found you again you had that Jason dude on your hip.”

You want to laugh, not only at him forgetting Jadens name, but also at him saying you’re not interested. He has every right to assume you’re not, you’ve done nothing but turn him down. You almost want to tell him just how wrong he is, how the only reason you said no is because you don’t want to lose him, but right now is not the time for that, you don’t want to open any windows and derail the conversation that so far is going shockingly well, even if it hurts.

“Is she the woman you went to after your fight with Talia?” You push him slightly, hoping to get more out of him while he’s being so honest with you.

His face screws up for a second, confused how you would know that. You see the questioning look on his face and rush to clarify, to confess.

“I know you lied to me that night, or at least I kind of hope you did. I overheard you and Charlotte talking the next morning, something about a woman named Marina.” You explain.

He lets out a deep sigh, “Yeah, I’m sorry I lied to you. I wasn’t particularly in the mood to explain the whole situation. But to answer your question, yes, that is the woman that I went and saw.” He doesn’t offer any further explanation, you want to push him but you allow him to leave it at that, at least for now.

You both sit in silence for a moment, trying to figure out where to go from here.

“Lewis,” You say quietly, getting his attention, “I don’t want to lose you.”

His face morphs into absolute sorrow and pain, for a moment you worry that he’s mourning your friendship, not knowing how to break the news to you.

“Y/N, you’ll never lose me. I would go crazy without you.” His voice is soft but sincere as he carefully scoots closer to you on the bed, testing the waters slightly. You let him get close enough that your knees are touching, his hand coming to rest over yours, squeezing tightly.

“How do you think I could ever let you go?” He asks with a deep frown.

“Because you seemed to be okay with ruining our friendship just to get me in your bed.” You accuse him, your voice wavering.

“Sweetheart, I was never trying to ruin our friendship, I-” He takes a long pause, gathering himself with a deep breath, “I don’t know how to explain it exactly, but truth be told, me trying to get you into bed was never just me trying to sleep with you. It’s been a long time since I felt for someone how I feel for you and I’m not good at making that clear. I don’t even truly understand everything that I feel for you but, I know it’s a whole lot more and a whole lot different than how I feel about all of my other friends. I guess somewhere in my head I felt like I could get that across physically, that maybe it would make everything make sense once I had you. I know it sounds ridiculous but I don’t know how to do this.”

His confession both shocks and confuses you, your mind flitting back to the night he disappeared after his fight with Talia. That night he had told you that he had feelings for her, now he was trying to convince you of his feelings for you.

“What about Talia?” You ask, voice still unsure.

“What about Talia?” He throws back at you, confused as to why she matters right now.

“The night that we talked, after your fight, you told me you were worried that you had messed everything up with someone that you cared about or liked a lot, I don’t remember exactly what you said but…” You trail off, a slow moment of realization coming over you.

He chuckles softly, shaking his head as he looks down at the ground before returning his eyes to yours, “Y/N, I was talking about you. In no universe was I ever even considering Talia.” His words confirm what you’ve just realized and you want to slap yourself, you feel like an idiot.

“I- oh my god.” You breathe out, shutting your eyes. His eye contact suddenly feeling like too much.

You stand from the bed, disconnecting your hand from his. He stays seated, looking up at you as you begin to pace, letting you process what he’s said.

“How long?” You ask suddenly, stopping and looking at him.

“In all honesty, I don’t really know. I only really realized it sometime last year. I was thinking it would go away, that it was just some silly crush, but it just kept getting worse.” He explains, shrugging his shoulders as if it’s totally normal.

“So all the time that you were sleeping with all these other women and still flirting with me was, what?” You feel yourself getting agitated, not quite sure how to feel about his actions.

“I kind of figured that if I kept sleeping around that I would be satisfied and I wouldn’t feel the same way, but I couldn't help but keep flirting with you, it’s just naturally how I am with you, it feels right.” Once again he shrugs as if it’s no big deal.

“Do you not want to feel this way about me?” You ask quietly, a slight sting of rejection settling over you.

“No, no, that’s not it at all.” He rushes out, standing to approach you, carefully he puts his hands on your arms, making you look at him, “It’s not at all that I don’t want to feel this way about you, I’m glad I do to be completely honest. It’s just that I’ve been single for a very long time and I truly do not want to fuck this up, I’m scared that I’m going to and I’m going to lose you. It felt like everything would be so much easier if I could just keep being your friend and keep you in my life. But that didn’t happen, I still managed to fuck it up.”

You can feel tears forming in your eyes, he notices them too, a look of regret on his face.

“So what do you want?” You ask him, needing more clarity.

“All in all, I want you, I want to do this with you and god I want to not fuck it up. I want you to be mine, all mine, all in.” He says confidently, much more sure of himself than you feel.

You stare at him as the tears start to roll down your cheeks, your emotions are at an all time high. Part of you is filled with pure ecstasy, the man that you have crushed on for years is standing here in front of you confessing his feelings, asking you to be his. The other part of you is filled with absolute fear, the thought of trying and failing with him, losing one of the most amazing men you have ever met, your best friend. You know that a life with Lewis could either end in the most beautiful love you have ever experienced or the worst, most gut wrenching heartache known to man.

“Can I hug you? You look like you could use it.” His voice is soft, his heart aching as he watches you cry.

All you can do is nod as you let yourself fall into his hard chest. He holds you against him tightly, rubbing soft circles on your back as he once again lets you cry into his chest. You’ve done this too many times in the last twenty four hours. He stays silent, just letting you work through your emotions. When you finally calm down you pull your head from his chest but he keeps you tight against him, one of his hands coming up to wipe some remaining tears from your cheek. You revel in the feeling of his touch, how comforting a simple action can be. As you stare into his eyes you can see how much emotion and affection is hidden behind them. A soft, sad smile across his lips.

“What’s going through that beautiful mind?” He asks, his voice just above a whisper.

“I don’t know.” You tell him honestly.

He just nods, understanding how overwhelmed you must be.

“I need time, I need to think.” You say, averting your eyes from his, knowing you’ll say yes if you look into them for a moment too long.

“Take all the time you need, I’ll always be right here if you decide you’ll have me.” He says softly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he gives you another proper hug.

He finally steps away from you, leaving you feeling displaced in your own room, before he turns to leave he grabs your hand, squeezing it tightly, “And Y/N, no matter what you decide, you will never lose me. I will always be right here.” With that he leaves the room, leaving you behind with a whirlwind of thoughts.

As much as every part of you wants to believe him in saying he’ll never leave you, you can’t help but wonder if it’s fully true. If you try this and all of it comes crashing down, you can’t imagine being able to be around him.

Is the possibility of loving and being loved by the most incredible human being worth the possibility of losing him entirely?

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imagine--if · 1 year

Note

"What am I to you" Bruce Wayne/Battinson x reader?!?

A/N: I kinda just went with the flow on this haha, there's a smidge of riddler x reader too but hi battinson peoples!! It's been a while 😁🖤 enjoyyy, sorry if I didn't follow the trope as much as you wanted bahaha

Wordcount: 798

"I'm sending you to Wayne Manor. You'll be safe there."

You blink up at the mystery man clad in all black in shock, rubbing at the mild red tape marks around your wrists. Wayne Manor? Was he joking?

"Wayne Manor?" you repeat incredulously. "You can't just go to Wayne Manor. Bruce Wayne lives in Wayne Manor."

The Batman doesn't look up at you as he gently pulls a hand away from your wrist, cleaning the agitated skin area with a softness that should be alien to the vigilante, who stalks troublemakers and maniacs each night, warding them off the streets by any extreme means that doesn't involve guns.

"He'll understand."

You gape at him in a daze, the night's events a blur, making your head hurt just thinking about it. Of course, whatever drug that dampened the towel The Riddler shoved in your face before you were whisked off to a cold, crumby hotel room can't be helping either, and you swear you can still feel the effects making you feel weak and shaky even after The Batman stormed into the scene, cutting it short with an untamed rage you'd never seen in those dark eyes before.

Before all this, you'd never properly met The Batman, least of all been saved by him. It was only now that The Riddler was targeting the corrupt, trying to prove himself to Batman, and save you, his so-called angel, a beacon in this dark, cesspool city, from the corruption and the dangers lurking around every corner. But, if anything, The Riddler seemed like a danger to you, constantly sending you love poems and riddles on old-fashioned, cheesy valentines cards and promising his followers and viewers of his streams and trials that another reason to carry out his acts of terror was for you.

"So- so pure, and innocent, and angelic... and they're being corrupted! The influence of this rich, disgusting vermin of the city is attacking the biggest influence and symbol of hope in this forsaken place! I'm going to do something... something spectacular. All you have to do is watch and wait for a little while longer..."

If you'd have known that donating to charities for orphans and helping out true detectives like James Gordon with crimes instead of being bought off by Falcone would gain this kind of attention, you might have thought twice. But here you are. Being obsessed over by a murderous genius, and protected by a vigilante mystery man.

"Do you know him?" you ask Batman in wonder, as he frees your wrist, treated carefully and delicately. "Mr Wayne? I don't know if he'd be happy with me staying there. I mean, he doesn't talk to many people and... well, no one really knows much about him."

"He can make an exception," Batman answers you. "This is serious. I don't want you going back home or anywhere by yourself until Riddler's behind bars. You're a part of his plan, too."

You sigh, putting your hoodie back on and pulling the sleeves over your hands, fingertips poking out of the material. "I know. But I'm not your responsibility. You have enough to do already."

"It's my responsibility to keep you safe," The Batman argues. "I'm sure you're a very capable person, but this is dangerous. People have died. You know that."

"I don't think he'll kill me," you say after a beat of thought passes.

"He won't," The Batman says. "He won't go near you again. I'll make sure of it."

"Well..." you struggle to find the words, confused, as Batman goes over to his car, like something out of a sci-fi movie. "Thank you. But why do you care so much?"

The Batman freezes, glancing over his shoulder at you with an unreadable expression.

"No, I mean," you continue quickly, "apart from the fact that you're a vigilante and a protector and all. Like, what am I to you?"

You cringe inwardly at yourself after hearing the words come out of your mouth, and at the masked man's bemused expression. What the hell was he supposed to say to that? He was only protecting you because there's a terrorist on the loose, right? What exactly are you expecting?

What you don't expect is for The Batman to take a heavy step towards you, offering you a gloved hand to help you into the vehicle. His hand lingers in yours when you're sat down and he hesitates, an odd look of - what, insecurity? Flustered, just a little? - written in his features as he looks you dead in the eye, the intensity making your breath catch in your throat.

"Probably more than you think," he replies after a few moments of silence, and then his hand slips out of yours as the engine roars to life.

⭒❃.✮:▹𝓉𝒶𝑔𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ◃:✮.❃⭒ (message me know if you want to be removed/added. ghost blogs/dead accs have been removed.)

@misadventures0fdes @junebugp @simestandswithtaylorswift-blog @carley-carley-carley @lostbunn @dragovegogrimborn @i-wished-upon-a-star-one-night @edwardspumpkinpie @murderbimbo00 @sweetums0kitty @beel-mcburger @cml-san @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @bimboanime @phoenixgurl030 @dangerouslittlefairy @yoyoanaria @yaeyuuki @vinxlsketches @beenz-beenz @ghoulsgraveyard @birds-have-teeth @repostingmyfavs @r3ptiliaaa @for3v3rda1sy @glitterycheesecakegladiator @moonwritesblog @lilyevans1 @httpsunflowersleep @hxney-lemcn @callsigncrash @bokksieu @skateb0red @philiasoul@felicityofbakerstreet @deadlights-darling @ireadandream @tinyryder @kpopgirlbtssvt @truecobblepot @jessicainhell

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spidercookie18 · 6 months

Text

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝑪𝒂𝒏 𝑹𝒖𝒏 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝑪𝒂𝒏’𝒕 𝑯𝒊𝒅𝒆

The Lost Boys 1987 AU set in modern time. None of the boys died, and all the Emersons/Star/Laddie/Frog brothers are vampires. This is explained later…

Tags: General violence, halfing vampire, swearing, choking, mentions of suicide/death/kidnapping/dangerous acts, unprotected sex, breeding, scenting, degradation/praise, use of y/n, afab, use of she/her. MINORS DNI Word Count: 8.6k Previous chapter here: Next chapter here:

“No one should suffer what I suffered. I still dread those scenes when man killed man. I lost my parents, most of my family, by running away.” — Milkha Singh

Chapter Two:

It had been over a week since David last saw you. He went by your house most nights and saw that your lights were off, and your truck was gone. He noticed that wherever he tried to mark as ‘his’, was gone the next night. Your scent had the same potency each time he went back, so he knew you were there during the day, which he was fairly sure you knew he wouldn’t be by to bother you then.

Where the fuck did she go. David's thoughts kept returning to the memory of you and how he longed to feel you against his flesh once more.

He was irritable again, and the other boys noticed. He had been avoiding Max as he was sure he’d be able to smell you on his clothes, and he didn’t want to get yelled at – if that was all Max would do, David thought. He groaned with frustration as he put on his boots.

“Come on man, are you fucking going back there again?” Paul yelled at David as he was walking up towards the mouth of the cave.

“Shut up Paul,” David grumbled, not turning.

“Dude you’ve gone like every night this week,” Paul responded.

“Yeah man, it’s not like she’s going anywhere, all her stuff is there, right?” Marko said, turning the bag of chips upside down into his mouth. “So why don’t we go out,” Marko tried to appeal to David, his mouth full of chips.

“This really isn’t healthy behavior, David,” Dwayne said, casually throwing some candy into his mouth.

David grumbled; he was annoyed but knew they were right. He felt a pang in the pit of his stomach, he couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep, he was on edge all the time. He sighed, “fine,” he turned back to the boys, “I got to get out of my head,” David said, grabbing the keys to his bike. “Let’s go crack some skulls,” he smiled a dark smile and the boys rallied behind him. They grabbed their jackets and headed to the bikes.

“Hell, yeah man!”

“Woo-hoo”

“Let’s go kick some teeth in!”

The boys yelled as they followed David up out of the mouth of the cave towards the bikes. They sped down the hill and towards the city, hollering the whole way.

They rode into town and up the boardwalk to a spot they knew would cause a commotion. They wanted to roll heads tonight, and where better to do that than where you’re ever so despised.

They parked outside a new ice cream shop that had been open a few weeks and there was still a line of people waiting to get in. They skidded to a stop loudly and revved their engines to turn all the heads.

The boys loved attention and smiled and chuckled at the contorted and angry faces that stared back at them. David looked over at his brothers and asked who they thought would be able to put up a good fight, they all laughed.

“So, y’all just constantly go around terrorizing people is that it?” A voice cleared itself behind David; he turned and saw you.

He had been looking for you all week and suddenly, the second he stopped trying, you appear.

The boys all turned to look at you, “can we help you?” Marko spat, clearly still pissy from the bar.

You looked over at him and rolled your eyes, then looked back at David, “I need you to move your bikes for the night.”

David shook his head in disbelief at how haughty you were being right now. “You want to run that by me again?”

A few minutes before, you had finally got to the front of the line for the new ice cream shop that you had been dying to try since you first stepped on the boardwalk. You’d been much too busy with work this week and finally had a second to yourself to go get a little treat.

It had taken much longer than you had initially thought to get your sweets, and it was now dark out. You finally reached the front of the counter and tried to order some of your favorite ice cream.

“I’m so sorry, but we’re out,” the boy behind the counter told you.

Just my luck...You sighed, “fine, can I get…”, you scanned the menu for something that wasn’t marked ‘unavailable’. “Can I just get a churro with caramel?”

The young man behind the counter apologized again for the inconvenience and turned to tell your order to his coworker. “I haven’t seen you in here before,” the young man tried to make small talk while your food cooked.

“Yeah, I’m new in town. I’ve been wanting to come here all week.” You watched him stare at your breasts from under the brim of his uniform hat and you handed him the money from your bag.

As you waited, you heard the roar of motorcycles coming up the boardwalk and turned to see David and the boys park opposite of the shop. They immediately begin provoking the customers standing outside, and you chuckled. Those idiots.

The cashier groaned and turned to his buddy, “they’re back again.”

“God damn it,” the other teen responded. “Well, I’m not going out there again, you tell them to move.”

“Nuh-uh, I’m not going out there,” the cashier quickly responds. He takes the churro and places it in a white paper bag and starts to hand it to you.

“I bet I can get em to move,” you say pointedly. The teens look at you with wide eyes.

“Yeah, fat chance,” the one furthest laughs out.

“No, I’m serious, I bet I could.”

They turn to look at each other, “...okay,” the cashier begins to haggle with you, “what do you bet?”

You think for a second, “tell you what, Charlie,” you nod at his name tag, “I bet, that I can get them to move for the night...for an extra churro.” The cashier smiles, “and all the money in the register,” you finish saying. The one making the food scoffs, “and if I can’t, then...” you stare at the cashier and wink at him, “I’ll let you take me on a date.”

The cashier makes a face like he’s thinking. He’s weighing the options of the ridiculous bet; no chance you get them to move, he can’t lose. He smiles down at you, “I’ll throw in the churro, and you got yourself a deal.”

You take the small crinkly bag from him and walk out the door, they’re both watching as you walk up to the ‘biker gang’.

“If you move, I’ll make it worth your while,” you raise an eyebrow at David.

He looks you up and down, “what do I get out of this,” he sneers at you. He wants to be upset at your demeanor, but you look adorable in the green off the shoulder dress you’re wearing.

“First,” you waggle the food in front of him, “this churro, but you have to snatch it from me… Second, is the cashier looking?” You turn to point with the churro at the shop.

David leans on his bike to see around you, “yeah?”

“Okay, well I made a bet with him that I could get y’all to move for a prize, and if I lose then I have to go on a date with him.”

David scrunched up his face in a frown at the sound of your words, you could hear him growling lightly.

“And I really don’t want to do that, so…” you trailed off.

“Well, what’s the second part?” Paul chimed in.

“It’s a surprise,” you smiled sweetly at the boys. David stared at you with a blank face, unamused by your little ‘bet’.

“Please,” you asked, with honey dripping from your words, “I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”

He looked back at the boys, who also seemed bored by the idea. But he really didn’t want you going off with some human, on a date.

“Fine,” he stated, and the boys started to protest at the idea. “Enough,” David’s response was quick and scathing. He looked back at you, “if you even think of weaseling out of this…” he narrowed his eyes.

“It’s not like you don’t know where I live,” you remind him; that’s exactly the point he was trying to make. “I’ll meet you on the far end of the boardwalk in fifteen mi-”.

David cut you off, “you’ve got ten.”

You smiled at him, “deal,” you took a step back and the boys started up their engines; David easily snatched the snack from you. They rode two circles around you, David was eyeing you the whole time- the image of sharks in the water crossed your mind. Then they took a turn down the stairs of the boardwalk, swung around on the sand and headed off in the direction you agreed upon. You could hear them hollering as they rode off on the beach, you walked back into the ice cream shop and sauntered up to the counter.

With slack jaws, the teens watched as you nodded towards the register.

“What… what did you say to them?” The cashier asked.

“Oh, I just told them if they didn’t move, you’d come outside and kick their asses.”

The one further away walked up to his friend, who stood frozen behind the cash register. “My dad is going to kill me,” the cashier whispered, unmoving.

He looked over at his friend who’d elbowed him, “come on man, fair is fair.”

“Tell you what, how about I take you out tomorrow?” You smiled up at the cashier and his nerves seemed to have been soothed. As he looked at you, his eyes became glossed over, his expression became blank, and he slowly, and unwillingly opened the register and emptied the drawer into a plastic bag. The one that was prepping food handed you another churro in a small crinkly bag. “Pleasure boys,” you took both and walked out of the shop.

It took less than the ten minutes you’d thought it would to walk over to where the boys were. “You’re almost late,” David yelled at you.

“No, I’m not,” you smiled and tossed the heavy plastic bag at him.

He reacted fast and the bag hit his gloved hands with a THUNK, he looked inside at all the money you’d just given him. “What’s this?” The boys were by his side curiously looking in the bag as well.

“It’s the other part of your gift,” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“Dude that’s gotta be like six hundred bucks!” Paul shouted and happily shook David by the shoulders. The boys are happily bouncing on the balls of their feet and David, who was still sitting on his bike looks up at you.

You rubbed the back of your head sheepishly, “yeaaah, sorry. I thought they’d have more cause they’re so busy; but I guess most people don’t pay with cash anymore huh?”

David was more than pleased with how the bet played out, he flashed you a toothy grin, “not bad, Y/N.”

“Oh, but there is one more thing,” you said as David handed the money to Dwayne to stuff in his saddlebag. “The cashier, Charlie, he’s still expecting a date,” David gritted his teeth, “so can you, like, do whatever it is you do to make people go away?”

The boys snicker, “what makes you think we just make people ‘go away?’” Marko laughs.

You shrugged, “well, they seemed scared nuff’ of you, so I figured you could fix my little problem.”

David laughed and gestured for the boys to head back to their bikes, “sure, we can do that.” David nodded to Marko who led the boys off on the bikes, presumably to fulfill your request. It was just you and David standing on the boardwalk now as you watched the boys ride off and out of sight.

“While I’m not upset with the money,” David turned back to look at you, “I was picturing something a little…different when you said you’d ‘make it worth my while’.”

You giggled, “you don’t think you can charm my pants off the old-fashioned way?”

David laughed heartily, “hop on, I want to take you somewhere,” he grinned sweetly. You moved over to the bike and threw a leg over and tucked the hem of your dress under your thigh so it wouldn’t fly up as you rode. You wrapped your arms against David’s waist, you felt so warm against him, he throttled the handle, and you felt the vibrations against your core.

“I like to go fast,” he turned back to you, “so, don’t let go.” You squeezed tighter, and he took off. You were flying down the road; he wasn’t kidding when he said he went fast, you thought.

You leaned into David’s ear, “if you’re gonna kill me, can you at least make it quick?”

You can feel him give a deep laugh over the sound of the bike and the wind, “I’ll try to remember that.”

You rode by a lighthouse on your right, and you could see the light turning as the two of you sped past it. You wanted to ask where he was taking you, but the air felt electric; you were too nervous to speak up, so you just held onto him. The ride itself wasn’t very long, maybe five, ten minutes, but the way David was driving made it feel frighteningly long. He zigged and zagged through traffic, and you thought he’d kill you both more than a few times. Every time you asked him to slow down, he’d speed up; so, you just stopped asking.

“Don’t ya trust me Y/N?” He’d yell over his shoulder.

“No!” You’d shout, and the way you were pressed up against his back you would feel him laughing.

There was one point where he was trying to pass someone on the two-lane road where you were sure you were going to bite the big one. He was tail-gating damn near every car he’d passed but this one wasn’t going to let it go; when he moved into the next lane, the car sped up.

You saw from over his shoulder there was another car coming from the lane you were in, “David,” you tried to get him to move back over, “David there’s a car coming.” He didn’t care, he wanted to feel your heartbeat against him, he wanted to smell the fear coming off you. “David, the car!” It was almost too close a call; at the last second, he gunned it in front of the driver that wouldn’t let him pass and ran them off the road. You turned to watch the car slide off into a ditch, and you could feel David laughing again. “Holy crap,” you clutched to him; “David I want to get off,” you hid your face in his jacket.

“We’re almost there,” he grumbled.

“No! I want to get off now!” You dug your nails into his side.

“Fuck!” He grunted and kept driving.

“David!”

He kept going; you dug in harder, and you could hear him wince with pain. “Calm down already!” He shouted at you, “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you!”

“Please,” you were whimpering into his shoulder; to be fair, he was probably a much better rider than you were giving him credit for, but for Christ’s sake it wasn’t fun anymore. It wasn’t much longer till he pulled off the main road and turned towards the shoreline. You were riding up hill and he stopped the bike when you were at the top.

“Happy?” He kicked out the stand and turned back to look at you.

Your face was still pressed against his back in terror. “Take me home David.”

He sighed at your response, “if I take ya home now, I’m just gonna drive the same way.”

“Then I’ll walk,” you grumbled.

“Will you fucking look up already? It wasn’t even that bad.” He stepped off the bike and watched you hide your face in your hands. He almost felt bad at how scared you were, almost. He rolled his eyes at you, David had enough of your behavior. He leaned down to brush your hair behind your ear, “come on Y/N.” You sheepishly pulled your hands away from your face.

The view before you was gorgeous; the moon was so full and so perfectly placed above the cliff you stood on. The lights from the city were all but gone, and you could see every star in the sky. The waves crashed on the rocks below you and you couldn’t hear anything but the sound of the scenery.

You stood from the bike in awe, “wow,” you held your breath.

“Told ya,” David crossed his arms smugly.

You took in the scenery a little bit longer, staring up at the stars; without looking at David you started to tell him off, “if you drive like that again without letting me know,” you looked over at him with wide eyes, “I’ll fucking kill you.”

He laughed again from the pit of his stomach, “alright, alright, I’ll let ya know next time.”

He walked over to you and placed his hand behind your neck. Before you could react, he pulled your face to his and kissed you deeply. He tasted like cigarette ash and the cinnamon sugar from earlier. You tried to pull away from him, but he held you tightly; his other hand came up to your cheek, and he pushed his tongue into your mouth. “Mrmph”, you struggled against him. “David,” you whimpered, he smiled against your lips. You felt your body start to get hot, you were still so angry with him, but he was so strong. You wanted to trust he wouldn’t hurt you, but you knew exactly what he was. His hand behind your neck traveled up to the back of your hair and pulled down hard, “aah!” He smiled against your neck, your whimpers and moans sounded so sweet to him; you felt him kissing and sucking marks on your skin, his grip turning into his nails in your skin. You were mewling at his touch, “David,” you breathed out. He loved the way his name sounded off your lips. So sweet, so full of want, for him. You felt his teeth scratching against your skin as he continued to suck marks into your flesh.

“Not so hard,” you whimpered, and felt his fangs grow, you could hear him growling under his breath, you could see his eyes glow under his lashes. He started biting lightly, then harder. “Not so hard David.” You knew what was coming next, you felt his sharp teeth getting ready to rip into you; you reached down into your bag and searched as quickly as you could. By the narrowest margins, David’s fangs had pierced your skin, when he was stopped by a cold piece of metal against his temple.

He heard the gun cock. “I said, not so fucking hard, David,” you panted out the words, and he pulled slowly away from you.

Without turning his head, he eyed the gun, then looked back at you. He raised his hands up by his head and stared at the gun nervously. “Take it easy there,” he watched you intently, as he blinked, his glowing amber eyes turned back to their normal blue. “If this is about the drive over, then I’m sorry, alright?”

You stared directly into his eyes, “no, I think you know what this is about.”

His eyes narrowed, “you know.” It was more a statement than a question.

“Uh-huh,” you nodded.

“How long?”

“Pretty much immediately,” you said pointedly. “You guy’s made it really easy.” He scrunched his face up, “you all were sniffing me like…animals.” David rolled his eyes, keeping his hands above his head, “also, you’re going to STOP pissing on my fucking lawn.”

He stepped forward to defend himself, “Alright I can explain th-”,

“Ah-ah,” you waggled the barrel of the gun in his face; he stepped back in place.

“You know they’re gonna kill that guy, Charlie, right?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“Why do you think I asked y’all to get rid of him for me?”

He laughed weakly, “so…you gonna kill me?”

You scoff at his words, “this was never about that,” David raised an eyebrow in curiosity, “I just wanted you to stop biting me.”

He exhaled in relief and put his hands down. “Fuck me, you had me there for a second,” he placed his gloved hand on his stomach and laughed gratefully that he wasn’t going to be shot in the face.

“David,” you kept the gun pointed at him, “you can’t have my blood unless I say so, got it?” He stared at the gun and tried to keep from growling. “And,” you continued, “I don’t want your blood… Give me your word.”

He groaned at your demands.

“David I’m serious.”

“Fine, fuck!” He growled out, “you have my word.”

You turned the gun from him and decocked it. In an instant, he’s on you; your back is pressed hard against the ground. Your teeth clang as your head hit the dirt below, and your ears rang loudly. You strained to focus on the vampire before you, your double vision cleared to reveal David and his glowing amber eyes. His features start contorting in anger, “what makes you think I won’t just kill you now?” His hands around your throat, squeezing hard, and you can hear the blood pounding in your ears.

You reached for the pendant around your neck and held the vial up for him to see, “do it.”

He held it in one hand and sniffed it. “What is this?” His voice dark and distorted.

You cough, “do you think I knew what you were off of a hunch?” He squeezed harder, the pressure behind your eyes making you nauseous, “you’d be doing me a favor,” you choke out, tears running down the side of your cheeks.

He turned the vial in his hand and saw a bubble move across the surface. He released his hold from your throat and stood quickly to his feet. “Whose blood is that!”

You cough and rub your throat, “my sire.” He feels his stomach churn at your words. You sat up on your elbows, “he killed my family, everything I ever loved was destroyed by his hate,” you yell at David. “He wanted to turn me, and I told him I would kill us both…”, you stared off over the cliff and let the tears come to your eyes. Your voice cracking as you spoke, “I told him if he spared my life that I would never run from him, never fight him… I would just be…his.” David was in disbelief; his body was in anguish at the words that came from your mouth, like poison in his veins. “I ran away from him thirty-five years ago,” you tucked the vial back into your dress. “I’ve been running ever since,” you stared up at him, and wiped the tears from your cheeks.

David was livid, you were his. He didn’t care who had claims on you, you were his now. He knelt down to snatch the vial from you.

“If you do that I’ll die.”

He growled and let the vial fall to your chest. “Then take my blood.”

“David! I just told you I don’t want it!”

He gripped your jaw harshly and snarled in your face.

“I am not tethering myself to another vampire,” you shouted back at him, “not after all I’ve survived!”

He bared his teeth against your neck and pulled away resentfully to keep himself from biting down, “you are more than flesh and blood can bear!”

David sat on your waist, angrily. He claimed you as his before he met you, the second he smelled your scent, he claimed you. You stared at him, defiantly. His nostrils flared as he stared down at you from his position. “You’re smelling him, that’s why you’re drawn to me.” David placed his head in his hands, he felt he was running out of ways to rationalize keeping you. “It’s instincts! Alphas seek out other alpha’s mates, it’s part of why war is waged for territories… we’re the only ones that can bear the weight of your love.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, “just… stop talking for a second.”

You sighed, crossed your arms in frustration, and laid back down on the ground.

So, this is what Max was going on about.

David had known for some time that there were vampire lords all throughout the world. They were sires to many, and masters of their vast territories. They were, ‘for all intents and purposes, kings,’ Max had explained to him once. And that it was best to avoid them at all costs. “Fuuuuuuuuuck!” David shouted into the night.

Why couldn’t he have just said that.

Should he kill you? Was it easier to just remove you from his life? No, like you said, it was instincts, he wouldn’t be able to do it. Could he get one of the other boys to do it? No, he felt sick just thinking about your death. David stared down at you; your attention was off over the cliff somewhere. Were you thinking of running away from him too? No, you ran away from…, “what’s his name?”

“Montgomery,” you didn’t look over at David, you stayed pretending you were somewhere else.

She ran away from, him because he was a bad pack leader.

Whatever he had done to you to make you break a vow and stay on the run for all these decades was something that David would never drive you to.

I’ll never make her run away; he thought as he looked softly down at you.

“What David,” you looked up at him finally, still fuming.

Whatever you had said and done to keep your old alpha from turning you must have been enough that he thought it was easier to bewitch you into being a halfling. David knew he wouldn’t be able to turn you and keep you from murder suicide, not forever. He knew his persuasion didn’t work on you, so he couldn’t force you to be docile, especially not if he turned you. There was only one way to keep you from leaving.

David raged against the thought, he bellowed and screamed in his mind. His nails gripped into his palms with all his force, if the gloves weren’t on his hands, he would have surely bled on you. Civility was not something David actively practiced; nor was he used to not just taking the things he wanted, things he claimed as his. He took a deep breath in, sighed, and reluctantly got off you. He threw himself on the ground beside you and looked up at the sky, still raging in his mind.

“I don’t want you to run away…” you looked over at him as he spoke softly, “I won’t drive you to that.” He said, it was almost a whisper. He sighed, loudly. He threw his hands up to his face, and pulled down on his skin, with a groan.

“Thank you…” you uncrossed your arms and smiled at him.

You could hear him growling, and the creak in his gloves as he continued to clench his fists. “This feels AWFUL,” he protested.

You laughed, “I’m sure it does,” you placed a hand gently on his arm. “You’re not really supposed to go against your instincts.”

David looked over at you, a look of annoyance on his face, “I could still kill you; you know.”

You rolled your eyes at him; you knew he didn’t mean it, but were sure he didn’t know how to process these new feelings without lashing out at you. As you watched him, you noticed his coats had lain open when he threw himself on his back. The edges of leather and wool falling off from his abdomen and onto the grass by his sides. Breathing in, you could finally smell him.

Leather, oil, cigarettes, salt…David.

His scent filled your nostrils and swirled around in your lungs. You could feel your chest heave as you panted, breathing in more of him. It was the first time you noticed his scent. Not even when you were wrapped around him on the bike could you smell it. The coats did a very good job of masking him, and as his air filled you, you instinctively began to squirm. Your body becoming hot, the flush in your cheeks; your heartbeat quickened. You could hear little over your own panting, but David could hear you quite well. He cocked his head as you tried to stifle a whimper.

“I can help you though,” you kicked off your shoes. You needed something to quell the fire in your loins. You slid on top of David and sat atop his hips. You leaned down to kiss him, you felt you could trust him; but more importantly, all the screaming and yelling and raging fell utterly unimportant in comparison to the instinct that demanded you roll your hips against his.

If he was willing to give you his word, he wouldn’t feed on you or try to turn you; and he wouldn’t hide you away from the world like some stolen prize, maybe he wasn’t the vampire you thought he was.

You put your hands to the sides of his face and kissed him deeply, he sat up with you still on him. You moaned into his mouth, and let your hands wander down to slip off his jacket.

“No,” he whispered into your skin, he stopped you from taking them off.

He shrugged you off his shoulders and slid his hands under your dress to pull it off you. You stayed kissing him while your hands unbuckled his belt, and feverishly unbuttoned his jeans. He put a hand to the back of your head and pulled you closer to slip his tongue in your mouth. “Mmhm,” you whined and grinded your hips down on his stiffening cock. He was kneading your breasts and moved his hands around your back to unclasp your bra. “David,” you whimpered, and he smiled against your skin. You loved the way he sounded when he chuckled, so deep, and dark; he excited you so. David kissed and licked your nipples, “ahh.” He was enjoying the feeling of your soft, plush breasts in his hands. He loved hearing you melt for him.

David pushed you down on your back- you always forgot how strong vampires were- and you giggled as he nibbled down your neck. He pulled away from you and took off your panties; his gloved fingers hooked under the thin fabric, and he kissed down your legs as they came off. He put them to his nose and took a long inhale, and you felt a blush come to your face at the sight. You saw his pointed ears twitch with excitement and his eyes flashed bright blue to a deep orange. David stuffed them in his pant pocket, “you’re not getting these back.” His voice was deep and slightly distorted again. You giggled and he shoved his jeans down enough to free his cock.

David was big, enough to make you clench around nothing at the sight of it. Not overly long, maybe six, six and a half inches, but he was impossibly thick. He had plum, prominent veins running along the underside and one on the top, his fat tip already leaking precum. You gulp, and he laughs at your reaction. “You might be too big for me, David…” you make a worried look, and he runs a gloved finger up your slit.

You mewl under his touch, and he chuckles, “you’ll take me just fine, darlin.”

He circles his finger around your clit as you begin to whine for him, “aah, fuck.”

You bite your lip and look up at him, he brings the finger to his mouth and licks your love off it. “Fuck, you taste so sweet,” he moans, and grips your hips tightly to pull you to him, you yelp as he drags you. He pushes his pants down further around his thighs and you chuckle nervously as his ample balls sway lightly. He He’s smiling down at you, licking his lips; he lines up with your cunt and presses into your heat.

You cry out as he stretches you to what feels like past your limit. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, David,” you push your hand against his hips to keep him from driving more of himself in, and he ignores your pleas. With force, he slams his hips against your ass, and you move to grip his forearms. Your nails are digging into his coats, and he growls as he pushes into you to the hilt. David gives you no mercy, and you can feel the wind be knocked out of you in shock. His cock is pulsing as he nestles against your cervix, you’re whimpering, and he tries to remind himself you’re still part human. David huffs as he tries to regain himself, his fingers digging into your hips. You wrap your legs against his waist to try and keep him from moving. “Wait,” you gasp out and you can hear him suck air in through his teeth. You try to adjust to his size, but he hooks his hands under your knees and pushes your legs forward. Your hips are off the ground, and he starts pistoning into you.

“Fuck!” He growls.

You’re so full, the weight of his cock feels like it’s going to tear straight through your cunt. “David!” You dig your nails into his forearms and keep moaning your screams; you can see his fangs growing in his open mouth.

He leans down, and you’re folded in half, “you’re so fucking noisy,” his words accentuated by each thrust. He covers your mouth with his gloved hand and your eyes roll back into your head. He feels so good, he’s so, so big, and he keeps hitting against your cervix. You cry out, and he’s laughing, “ohhh, sweet thing, does that feel good?”

You nod under him, his hands still covering your mouth, “mmhm.”

“How about this, darlin?” He releases his hold on your face and moves his hands to your hips. He lifts them off the ground, changes the angle of his thrust, and his tip is rubbing against your sweet spot.

You moan and scream and writhe into the night.

With his hand off your mouth, your tongue lolls out; David laughs, “you look like a dumb, fucked out toy, you know that?” His pace is punishing, it sounds like a sledgehammer breaking against your pelvis, and you try to focus on breathing as your orgasm quickly approaches. He looks down at you and his eyes narrow at the sight of the vial around your neck. He batts it away so he doesn’t have to look at it as he claims you. You breathe out a chuckle between gasps, and he can feel you squeezing against him, “are you gonna cum already sweetness?”

“Please sir,” you moan out, “please can I come?” He groans and thrusts his cock in harder, “fuck, David!”

He can’t get enough of your noises; you sound so cute getting fucked out on his cock. “Come for me sweet thing,” he rubs his thumb over your clit, and you spasm around his cock.

You’re moaning and gasping for air in between sweet ‘thank you’s’. The image of you crying and trembling under him is being burned into David’s mind. He holds your thighs close against his body and shoves his cock in as deep as he can reach and paints your insides white. You can feel his pulse hammering inside you as he comes. It’s so much, you can feel it dripping out of you and down your ass. David’s throbbing cock feels so good pumping you full of cum. He doesn’t stop pistoning into you, he just turns you on your side and fucks his cum back into your wet cunt. You’re clawing at his arms now, “fuck, David, wait!” He ignores your pleas; he can only hear the sound of your pounding heart, and the squelching of your soft warm pussy around him.

He’s growling, moaning something like, “so fucking good. So fucking tight f’me. So soft, n’ wet, n’ warm, f’me. My sweet thing.”

You can feel him slipping away from you as he mumbles into your flesh, he’s going feral fucking into you. “David,” you call out to him, and he looks down, his features completely foreign to what he looked like a short while ago. He grunted as he pushed your leg over your head. “Fuck! David calm down!” He fucked you hard, as hard as he could manage. Your breathing was staggered from the weight of him pressing over your ribs. The sound of his hips cracking into your pelvis was painfully loud. You were glad no one was around to hear, the plap and wet noises was sinful, and you moaned like a whore for David. The feeling of your gummy walls sucking him in was the best thing he’d felt in so damn long. He let his cock bully into you and drag slowly out. His fingers pushing into the plush of your thigh, the sound of your wet pussy getting fucked raw inviting him to keep going. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, and focused on how good you felt around him.

“So…soft,” was all he could manage as he grunted and came again in you. His voice completely distorted now. He let his open mouth settle on your calf, sucking lightly as he came. You could feel his teeth, not enough to break the skin, but enough you were sure it would leave a mark.

Your arms were up by your head to cover your face; you panted, and wheezed, and gasped, hard, trying to get air into your lungs as David kept railing into you, “please David.” You begged, tears coming down your cheeks. The pleasure was too much, you couldn’t stop cumming around him. You thought you were gonna pass out as he ripped another orgasm from you, you needed air.

He grabbed your arms and pulled you up towards him, “don’t look away from me.” He had his arms wrapped around your upper half and was fucking up into you now; you were sobbing. Your body went limp against his and you let your face hide in the crook of his neck.

“Too much… David” you cried out. His hefty cock kept pistoning up into you. It was too thick, too heavy, too much, you could feel him ruining you; and you felt your cunt spasming around him again.

He nuzzled his nose against your cheek, he loved how needy and pliant you were for him. He couldn’t get enough of you, your pretty little pussy, your cute noises, your scent. David groaned and bit into your shoulder, he lapped at the dark purple teeth marks on your skin. He focused on his hips slamming up into you, your legs weakly draped around his hips; the warmth of your body seeping into him. He snaked a hand up to your jaw and lifted your chin to look at him. He loved how you looked, glossed over eyes, flush cheeks, baby hairs stuck to your forehead with sweat, mouth agape with soft whines escaping with each thrust. He bit his lip and kissed you. He swirled his tongue around yours, and you whined into his mouth. Poor David couldn’t stop himself, his mind screamed that he needed his scent to envelop you. He came again and your head fell weakly against his shoulder.

You felt David reposition you, he turned you over to all fours. He grabbed your hips and pulled you back towards him. His hips pressed hard against your ass as he shoved himself back inside you. You let your hands grip at the ground beneath you, you tried not to clamp down on David’s cock, but he stretched you so goddamned good. “I’m gonna come again!” You half begged, half thanked him, the way his girth dragged in and out of you was divine. You felt your legs buckle under you and David held your hips up to keep you from falling over.

“Come!” He demanded, he let one of his hands wrap around your body and rubbed your nub.

“Fuck!” The high-pitched whines that came from your throat a clear indication of how hard you were coming undone for him. David felt your walls sucking him in again and growled as he fell against your back. He pumped his come against your cervix once more with a groan. He bit down on shoulder, his tongue tasting the sweat from your flesh. It took everything in him to keep from sinking his fangs into your skin wherever he could.

All the while you focused all your strength on not buckling under yours and David’s weight. You could feel his come and your slick drip down your folds and your clit. You whimpered at the feeling, you felt so fucked out and loved it. “Daavid,” you whined, he stepped out from under you and grabbed you by the top of your hair. “Aaah!” you shouted in pain as he pulled you to a kneel, he pushed his cock into your mouth and started fucking your face. You gagged and moaned against his girth; David moved his hands to hold you by the back of the neck and, pushed his thumbs up to your nose to fuck down your throat. You could feel his cock down the back of your throat, through the tears in your eyes you could see him above you; completely lost in his own instincts.

His cock slid quickly in and out, atop your tongue and he moaned, “so good.”

You could taste yourself on his length, your come and his come mixed in your mouth with your saliva. His cock was painfully big in your mouth, it almost felt like your jaw was going to pop. David pushed you deep on his cock till he was at the base against your lips, you could feel yourself beginning to gag, and he fucked hard shallow thrusts against the back of your throat. Your hands grabbed at his arms and dug your nails into his flesh as hard as you could manage; he pulled you off so you could breathe. You gasped loudly and he shoved his cock back inside.

David fucked back into your mouth; his pubes pressed against your nose. You fought to pull yourself off him, but his hold was too strong. He pushed the back of your head down on himself, shot down your throat and slowly pulled you from him; you were gasping for air. His come was salty and thick. You coughed as you tried to ease your breathing, but David still held you by the back of your head and jerked off in your face. He was going to cover you in himself. You flinched as he sprayed on your face and breasts. You could feel his cum dripping down your face, and you grumbled in protest. He ignored your complaints; hooked his hands under your arms, pulled you up off the ground, and wrapped your legs around his waist. David was standing; he had you held close against his body, and he lowered your weeping pussy back down on his cock. He licked a long stripe across the length of your neck and sucked bright red marks into your chest.

More, more, MORE, his mind screamed.

David held you by the plush of your ass and fucked up into you. His fingers gripped into your skin and if it wasn’t for his gloves, his claws would have ripped clean through your flesh. Your hands gripped tightly to the collar of his jacket, you whimpered and moaned as you felt his thick cock slide in and out of you. Your pussy was raw, and it felt like he had been fucking you for hours now; the pleasure that ripped through your body took your breath with it. The sound his hips made slapping against you ass was loud and wet, and you thought again of how grateful you were that there was no one around to witness you getting fucked like a pathetic doll.

“David,” you cried with the last of your energy. He didn’t stop, he couldn’t stop, and you didn’t entirely want him to stop.

“Keep squeezing my cock like that, sweet thing” David growled out. The way you spasmed around him had him fighting back the last of his sanity to not fuck clean through your cunt. He couldn’t push himself far enough into you, the way your fat little cunt sucked him in was enough to bring him to another orgasm. He could feel his and your cream dripping down his shaft and down his balls, he wanted to fill you to the brim, and he would fuck you as long as his hips would keep pistoning.

As your vision faded to black you watched David’s face. He was completely gone, and you were sure he was far from stopping that night. You felt him reposition you, he turned you around and gripped you by your hair and fucked you standing up. Your limp body being held up by his sheer strength; the pain on your scalp matching the pleasure that came from your pussy. You were going to pass out, and all you could do was listen to David as he moaned and growled, and whimpered praises and degradations into the night.

“Such a good toy; such a dirty whore; you fucking tease, you wanted this. My perfect fuck toy, my sweet thing I’m going to fill you. You want that don’t you? Of course, you do why else would your soft little pussy be sucking my cock like this? You want my come, don’t you? Say it. Say it! SAY IT!”

David adjusted how he was holding you; he laid you back down on the ground and wrapped your legs around his waist, he was pistoning into you again, demanding that you begged for his come. He looked down at your limp, weak body and screamed a loud, pained growl into the night. He couldn’t stop himself. He felt his mind slipping away. He was worried he hurt you, but he physically and mentally couldn’t bring himself to pull himself out of you. David had gone completely feral fucking into you; he couldn’t think of anything but scenting you and pleasuring himself with your warm wet cunt. He pressed his sweaty forehead against yours and covered you in his scent. There was little you could do but moan weakly, your eyes wouldn’t even flutter open anymore. He pulled your hips towards him and pushed deep against your cervix. You sobbed quietly, feeling his cock throbbing inside you, and he filled you again.

David finally stopped ravaging you some hours later. He kept going until he was past the point of exhaustion. You had long since passed out from the abuse on your body, and David knelt over your unconscious form. His mind stopped screaming, and he panted, hard. You were covered in bruises, bite marks, scratches, and his sweat and come. You smelled overwhelmingly of him, and he was finally satisfied. He looked over the cliff, he didn’t have the faintest idea how much time had actually passed, but he knew it would be morning soon. He gathered your things and stuffed them in your bag, he snorted softly as he picked up the gun and put it away too. He placed the bag on your chest and wrapped you in his jackets, he was much too tired to try and redress you, and he couldn’t guess when you would wake up. You groaned softly as he placed you in his lap and straddled the bike. He didn’t want to take you home like this, but he had little choice. He was too weak to fly you both home and he didn’t want to leave his bike so far from the cave.

So, he started the bike, with you draped over the front of his seat, and cradled you between his arms as he rode. Luckily, there was no one else on the road at this hour… whatever hour it was. It took longer to ride back to the cave than he had hoped, as he had to drive slowly for fear of dropping you. Finally, he’d reached the entrance to the cave, he put the stand out and carried you down into his home.

“Aye, there he is,” the boys shouted.

“Hey man, we brought you back a doggy bag,” Marko, who was wearing the cashier’s uniform hat, pointed to a 7-11 cup that Paul was sipping on. “Dude fucking knock it off,” he chucked an empty beer can at Paul.

“My bad,” Paul laughed and popped the straw out of his mouth. The big gulp was in fact, filled with blood, “where have you been all night?”

David walked down the entrance into the cave, cradling you close to his body. The boys sniffed at the air, “dude, what the fuck is that smell.”

The boys covered their noses with their jackets.

“Bro what is that?”

Their senses were assaulted with the unbearable scent of David that was coming off your body. He walked you down to a small alcove where the bed was, he placed you gently down and the boys walked over to investigate.

Still covering his nose, Marko looked down at you, “oh David… what the fuck did you do?” David moved to grab a bucket and some rice for you and put them by the bed.

“Is… is she still alive?” Paul asked, peering down at you.

“Of course, she’s alive you idiot, can’t you hear her breathing?” Dwayne mocked him.

David had knelt down by you on the bed and brushed your hair out of your face. “David… what did you do man?” Marko asked worryingly.

“She’s fine,” he sighed out, “she’s just tired.” He handed your bag to Dwayne, “put this where she can’t get it.” Dwayne looked briskly into the bag, then flew up to put it in a hanging light high in the cave ceiling.

“Dude she’s covered in bruises! What happened?”

David snapped his head to look at the boys, “it’s not like that,” he growled at Marko, “I just…I just got carried away…,” he looked back down at you, his expression softening. With the back of his hand, he rubbed gently on your cheek, “really…she’s fine.” He stood and took the cup from Paul, “no one is to touch her. And no one will tell Max about this.” The boys watched him as he flew up into the roost, “I’m fucking going to sleep.”

Paul leaned down to sniff you, “ugh,” he wafted his hand in front of his face and left to the roost. Marko pulled the jacket closer around you and turned to follow the others to bed.

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donovanlizzie · 2 months

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Hidden affections - Joe Liebgott

Masterlist

Band of brothers masterlist

The tension between Joe Liebgott and Y/N during basic training was palpable, their constant bickering earning them a reputation as the pair who couldn't stand each other. Yet, hidden beneath the surface, there was a strange connection that bound them together.

One evening at the bar, the air was thick with the familiar scent of cigarette smoke and the low hum of conversations.

She found herself watching Him from across the room, despite the tension that existed between them. His animated conversations with friends drew her attention, inadvertently coaxing a smile from her.

As she observed, George Luz snuck up behind her, curiosity etched on his face. "Who are you smiling at?" he asked, a playful tone in his voice.

However, his smile quickly faded and his expression shifted from playful to concerned as he followed her gaze to Joe Liebgott.

"Really? " George scoffed, looking at her like a disappointed parent "Liebgott?, after the way he acts around you?"

"It's complicated Luz" she replied, taking another sip of her beer.

Luz raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. "Complicated? That's one way to describe it. I mean, he acts like he can't stand you half the time."

She sighed, her gaze lingering on Joe as he laughed at something Talbert had said. "Yeah, well, maybe it's his way of dealing with things. Doesn't mean there's not something else there."

George smirked, leaning against the bar. "You're telling me there's something more to Liebgott than meets the eye? Colour me intrigued."

Chuckling she shook her head. "You wouldn't understand, Luz. It's like we're constantly at odds, but when it comes down to it, he's got my back. And I've got his."

George gave her a skeptical look. "Got his back? More like got each other's throats."

"Trust me, Luz, i know there's a lot more to Joe Liebgott than what he shows. " she replied cryptically, swirling her beer in her glass.

George sighed, "Well, just be careful. Liebgott's a complicated guy, and complicated usually means trouble."

She nodded in acknowledgment, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "I can handle a little trouble."

--------------------------------------------------------

Liebgott sat at a nearby table, the conversation he was engrossed in had become irrelevant as his ear pricked up at the mention of Y/N's name from the table behind him , overhearing Roy Cobb, a fellow paratrooper, running his mouth about her to a group of new replacements.

"Y/n? Oh, you mean Easy Company's little sweetheart," Cobb remarked with a mocking tone, eliciting a few chuckles from the newcomers. "she's just a liability. She should've never shown her face in easy company! My bet is she's been playing the commander, putting on a show of competence that's going to get someone killed. Sobel should've gotten rid of her a long time ago."

Anger flared in Joe's eyes as he clenched his fists, his jaw tightening as Cobb continued to tarnish her name.

"And have you seen her? No wonder she hasn't found a man yet. Who would want to be with someone like her? It's not surprising she's still single; she's probably too busy ruining missions to care about settling down."

Unable to contain himself any longer, Joe jumped up from his table and approached Cobb's group with a scowl on his face.

"What the fuck did you just say about her?" Joe sneered at Cobb, who tried to laugh it off and reason with him. "Come on, Joe, you know what she's like – my bet is she's had half the company now-"

Before Cobb could finish his sentence, Joe's fist connected with his face, sending him sprawling to the floor. The commotion drew the attention of the entire bar, and the rest of Easy Company rushed to stop the impending fight.

She and Luz watched, exchanging puzzled glances. "What was that about?" She asked, concern furrowing her brow.

George shook his head. "I don't know, but Liebgott looks pissed."

As the men of Easy Company pulled Joe away from the scene, Cobb nursed his bleeding nose and shot a glare in her direction. She met his gaze with a cold intensity, her eyes daring him to say another word.

Joe, still seething, was restrained by his comrades. "You talk about her again, and I'll do more than just break your nose," he spat at Cobb, the words laced with a dangerous edge.

The bar returned to its uneasy quiet, the rumours quashed by the unexpected confrontation. Joe may have acted on impulse, but his protective instinct for her had been laid bare for everyone to see.

She watched as Joe stormed out of the bar in a huff, cursing under his breath. She placed her empty pint glass on the table in front of her and felt a sense of urgency to follow him. "Hey, where are you going?" George called out, walking back to the bar - no doubt to get another drink.

"Don't worry about it," she mumbled back, not wanting to explain as she made a beeline for the door Joe had just stormed out of. Once outside, the cold air hit her like a thousand tiny needles, causing her to shiver. Walking a few steps away from the door, she scanned the darkening area, the sun just starting to set, painting the sky with an orangey-red hue.

Her eyes fell upon Joe, leaning against one of the nearer barracks, smoking a cigarette. She took a deep breath and began walking towards him, the stones crunching under her shoes catching Joe's attention almost immediately , his jaw tightening in response.

"What are you doing out here?" Joe asked, stubbing out his cigarette. Ignoring Joe's question, She confronted him,

"What the hell was that back there?"

"Never you mind," Joe replied dismissively.

"Joseph Liebgott, I will mind. You punched a fellow paratrooper in the face!" Her tone carried a mix of disbelief and frustration, feeling as if she was scolding a schoolboy.

"Cobb said some shit that wasn't true, and I hit him – no big deal," Joe responded, trying to downplay the situation.

"What did he say, Joe?" She pressed, her voice rising a little.

"Damn it, Y/n, what is this, 21 questions?"

"Liebgott, tell me what he said!" She insisted, her frustration evident.

Joe sighed pushing off the barracks wall and walked over to her, the distance between them closing until they were almost nose to nose , his breath fanning her face, the smell of the recent cigarette lingering in the air.

Joe's gaze softened, and he let out a heavy sigh. "Look, I might not always show it, but I don't like hearing lies about people I... care about," he admitted gruffly, avoiding direct eye contact.

Her expression softened in return. "Care about? Liebgott, you're not known for being the sentimental type. Why would you care about what Cobb says about me?"

Joe hesitated for a moment, his jaw clenching. "I hate to admit it, but... I don't like the idea of anyone talking crap about you. Especially when it's a load of bullshit."

Her eyes widened, surprised by his admission. "Joe Liebgott, did you just say something vaguely nice about me?"

He scoffed, trying to deflect. "Don't get used to it. I just... I don't know, I just don't like people thinking less of you because of some idiot's lies."

A small smile played on her lips. "Well, I appreciate that, Joe. It's strange, you know? Despite all the bickering, I never thought you'd... care."

Joe mumbled something incoherent, avoiding her gaze. The tension between them lingered, the unspoken words hanging in the cold air. , Feeling a mix of emotions, She took a step closer to Joe.

"I don't hate you, Y/n. I might not show it, but I..." Joe's gruff words trailed off, and before he could finish, She closed the remaining distance between them, pressing her lips against his. It was a moment of unexpected intimacy, fuelled by the unspoken emotions they both struggled to express.

Breaking the kiss, Joe sighed, his forehead resting against hers. "I hate to admit it, but I... I like you, a lot."

She looked at him, a mix of surprise and a small smile playing on her lips. "Well, that's something," she said, a teasing glint in her eyes.

Joe rolled his eyes but couldn't hide a smirk. "Yeah, yeah, don't get used to it."

As they stood there, the realisation of the unexpected turn of events settled in. The tension that once hung between them had transformed into something different – something neither of them had anticipated.

#hbo war #band of brothers imagines #joe liebgott #joseph liebgott #band of brothers x reader #band of brothers oc #band of brothers

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hadesknockedupintheunderworld · 1 month

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Absbsbsn I should preface this post by saying that I'm not posting about this to call people stupid or hate or anything

But now that I've caught up to the dungeon meshi anime (as someone who hasn't touched the manga yet), it makes me laugh seeing those posts about anime onlies getting blown out of the water with the "tonal shift"

Like don't get me wrong, all of those scenes in episodes like 12 and 13 are very impactful (the scene where they're trying to bring Falin back after killing the dragon especially got me)

But like, having slice of life esque stuff only to come out of nowhere with dead or horror or gore or blood is not something that just suddenly starts happening in the recent episodes.

Like...after the orcs rushed the bar in that one episode, I started rolling with the punches😂

The first episode started out with Falin being eaten by a dragon

Marcille decided to try the dog method for harvesting mandrake, and it scared me for a minute when the bat collided with the tower and we learned that Marcille heard the scream

Laois is being Laois and wondering if he can eat living armor. He tells the group the story of how he got his sword and we watch him get stabbed through and die

The crew has decided to go and trade the fresh veggies so as to not waste food, so they go into a bar and fail to make it appeal to the bar owner. The bar is suddenly rushed by orcs who start killing people

We get to see all these tidbits of Kabru's party, introducing them as characters, and then Laois and friends come across them and they're DEAD

You think "haha Chilckuck has a funny vendetta against mimics and doesn't want to end up eating one because of Senshi and Laois" and then Chilkuck gets up in the middle of night to get water only to be stuck in a puzzle room of the horror genre variety where he's trying not to get stabbed/killed via trap or killed via mimic. Marcille thinks she accidentally killed Chilchuck for not looking out for him sooner.

Senshi tells the group that he's gonna cross the water without magic and calls up is kelpie friend, Anne, who he talks to everyone about. He gets on and Anne immediately drags him into the water and tries to kill him. Marcille and Chilchuck think Senshi or Laois died or got severely hurt because of the blood that pools to the top. Senshi prepares to eat the monster he once called friend, asking to do it himself

Marcille is worrying about Senshi's hair/beard cleanliness and trying to make the water walk spell work. Chilchuck and Laois walk on the water only to find Kabru's group dead...AGAIN?

Marcille pours out some hot water after cleaning herself and then has a deadly fight with the water spirit. Laois and Senshi go with Tansu's group so he'll heal Marcille (who is incredibly weak). Kiki and Laois almost die via tentacles in the process.

The giant frog throws out Marcille's staff and Laois's weapon. During the giant frog battle, Chilchuk almost gets eaten

Okay okay I'll quit now 😂

It's just funny to me because it felt like Dungeon Meshi is focusing on the slice of life esque bits and the delicious food, but from sudden violence to serious moments it's constantly reminding the audience and characters that the dungeon is a dangerous place, that they're on a dangerous mission, and of the problems beings who live in this world deal with (racial, monetarial, societal, etc)

And I should also mention that while for a while I just kind of saw everything as a constant "slice of life punctuated randomly by the horrors", I no longer feel that way. Honestly, I think it means a lot that so many makings of of the food(s) of the episode moments come just after the characters have been through a terrifying event, and it tells us a lot about the characters by how they handle these events (whether it affects them very visibly or they just kind of smooth over it because they're used to what it's like just being in the dungeon and having to fight for their lives)

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #dungeon meshi anime spoilers #i just be ramblin #Also I should mention that I'm also sort of used to anime's/manga's that ramp up the prevalence of darker stuff #So while the last couple episodes just whammed me with feelings #I still just kind of roll with the punches naturally like 'Yeah this might as well happen“

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ygsunflower · 1 year

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I know I’m not the first one to notice this, but Carina is a lot more laidback with Maya- She’s comfortable with letting Maya speak for her both in serious (at her visa interview) and non-serious (here at the bar letting Maya order her white wine) situations, or at least allowing Maya to take charge first.

At first I did not like this character “change” at all and I blamed it on the inconsistent writings on Carina’s character between when she first appeared on Grey’s Anatomy and when she moved to Station 19. However, as we see her appearing more on both Station 19 and Grey’s (only occasionally), and as she started to have more storylines apart from Maya and their relationship, I kinda appreciate her different personalities (for lack of a better word).

When Carina DeLuca was first introduced on Grey’s, she was this straightforward, no-filter fireball of a sexy Italian goddess. She was extremely confident and firm about her profession and her sexuality. Yet she has a soft spot for her brother. And we also see her almost losing her usual confidence and fieriness in front her father. She was never afraid to speak her mind, but when she was with her father, and later on her mentally-illed brother, she almost became too scared to speak up and be firm with them. I’m not a mental health expert/psychologist, but from what I saw, Carina has the tendency to shrink her ego and be extra soft to those she loves. I don’t think it’s uncommon for people, but it’s just a more obvious trait for her. Anyways, this is the justification I made to understand Carina’s different personalities with Maya and everyone else.

She loves Maya deeply, so she feels comfortable enough to shrink her ego. It’s not about Maya dominating her in the relationship, but more so about Carina feeling safe to let Maya take care of her and she doesn’t feel like she has to constantly putting her feet down and be firm. But I cannot draw this conclusion until the S6b of Station 19 and Grey’s S19b. Before this two half seasons, we did not see much of her as her independent self. But now we get to see her having her own storylines. The abortion clinic storyline and her running this trauma here on Grey’s showed us the good-old confident Dr. DeLuca is still very much present.

Her scenes in 6x07 of Station 19 even proved my previous point on her trusting her loved ones to make the call for them- once she got yelled by an obviously unstable Maya, she no longer considered this Maya her safe place. She immediately switched to her stern doctor voice to Maya and took back her trust in Maya to make any decisions. Carina did not back down as her last resort to try saving her wife from essentially killing herself.

In terms of her fun and almost rambunctious side of personalities, even though we don’t see her as excited Dr. Orgasm again (wasted potentials if you ask me, both the actual research topic and her overall mannerism during that storyline were gold), we still have the fake abortion clinic comedy and her scenes with Vic and Dr. Lewis are always fun. Her comedic side now is just toned down which I can accept. (Props to Stefania, I love her little physical comedy acting for Carina.)

That to be said, her personality trait of being extremely soft around her loved ones also made it easy for her to get walked-over by her loved ones… Both her father and Maya, as much as I hate putting Maya next to Carina’s dad, they abused and took advantage of Carina’s love and softness around them when they were in a mental health crisis (a longggg crisis). Her love to them made her tongue-tied in front of them and almost turned her into a slight pushover… And that’s why this second half of S6b has been great for Carina’s character- A slow burn Marina recovering road allows us to see Carina realizing the downside of her “weakened heart” around those she loves. After repeatedly getting hurt by her loved ones, Carina is finally burned out this time. She lost her strengths to pick herself up from the pain caused by her loved ones and keep loving them. She is so hurt that she’s scared of not surviving the next pain. She still wants Maya and she is still hopelessly in love with her but she needs Maya to win her back despite her instincts to forgive her again and again. She needs to see Maya’s changes to regain the courage to comfortably let go of her rationale to love Maya fearlessly again. What makes it worthy for Carina is that this time her love is changing, for the better. Maya is healing and she apologized to Carina. And the difference between Maya and Carina’s dad is that Maya now listens to Carina and respects her needs. Despite their downs and heartaches, Carina is still able to feel safe enough to spill all her fears to Maya.

This long rant is just to say that with the past few episodes of Grey’s and Station 19, we finally get a holistic understanding of the character Carina DeLuca. Rather than inconsistent writings, with simultaneous appearances of both Dr. Carina DeLuca and loving wife Carina DeLuca on 19 and Grey’s, her different personalities are explained and demonstrated well. These seemly contradicting personalities now make her more human and endearing.

#i hope both shows give carina/stefania more stories #carina deluca #character study?#station 19 #grey’s anatomy #stefania spampinato #marina #maya x carina #maya and carina

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forgiveness-in-the-misery · 8 months

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Murderface’s sexuality is always interesting to me because regardless of gay or bi his attraction to men is super complicated. Especially because we are talking about an era that was ungodly levels of superficial.

There was a severely prominent belief gay men had to be hot. You had to be skinny and femme or you had to have a massive amount of muscles usually fueled by steroids. Men who were not attractive or who were overweight tended to while obviously still be able to have relationships or get laid were just not talked about. Kind of like the idea that to be a trans man you have to be skinny or ripped and binders typically are ungodly small even at a 3x cause they made them with small chested guys in mind.

You had Shameless having Ian hook up with fat guys that he openly found super repulsive but they were good at cuddling so he lowered his standards.

The point is media and a lot of scenes were not duper welcoming or kind to queer men who were overweight or not conventionally attractive. I miss things about the 2000s but the shallowness I do not.

So when you think about the time itself there is a built in attraction and you have a man who we see begging women for sex and I don’t think he would be able to really emotionally handle opening himself up to a whole new gender to reject him and make him feel worse about himself.

Which I think is one of the key reasons we see Murderface come onto his friends. Sure they obviously reject him because they genuinely aren’t into him like that, sexuality reasons, or because he has no social skills. Still it isn’t harsh rejection. When he’s spooning Pickles and being weird, Pickles doesn’t shove him off or really get agitated just sort of annoyed and lets him spoon him. Skwisgaar is usually pretty passive about Murderface hitting on him. His friends know him and accept him and his weirdness, they aren’t going to show a level of cruelty he might get from a guy at a bar who could laugh at him or make crude comments about his looks.

So I think there is a big level of tragedy to it especially when you consider the general era the show was created in. It was an era of every other commercial on TV promoting diets that essentially came down to starving yourself, taking sketchy diet pills that would keep you from eating, smoking to kill your taste buds was still acceptable. TV shows for kids, teens, and adults frequently made gaining two pounds or having crooked teeth or acne seem like a huge disaster and dying would be better.

So you have an overweight guy with excessive body hair and crooked teeth and curly hair living in an era where musicians in real life with shared features got mocked constantly. It makes sense he is immensely insecure to the point of getting work done regardless of safety cause it can’t get worse.

I think that context is something a lot of younger fans are missing and tend to not think about or realize when watching the show and it is insanely fucking important.

#metalocalypse

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sprainedwriting · 11 months

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come see inside my heart (1)

spencer reid x fem! reader

Summary: You’re rehabilitated! You swear on it! So, when a serial killer turns up, with the same killing method as you, it threatens everything you have worked not-so hard for.

tw/cw: CANON TYPICAL VOILENCE AND THEMES! This chapter is mild but! Further chapters will deal with mature topics, read at your own risk! I am not responsible for you guys. I take no critism btw

Read on AO3 for better formatting + tagging. Enjoy.

This isn’t Spencer´s scene. He knew it, his team knew it, and so did the woman and men who approached him. A successful caught criminal means a night out at a bar, or club in this scenario. Usually he could handle it, the people, the sounds, the overstimulation of his senses.

Sadly, today was a bad day, where everything was just a bit too much. So he excused himself to the restrooms, but he just ended up going through the back door, into an alley. It was dirty, with trash everywhere, but it was better then being inside right now. Spencer planned to be alone, for like 10 minutes to recharge and try again.

But, well, he wasn’t alone. A girl was crouching on the floor. Her arms over her knees, hiding away her face.

“I’m sorry… are you in need of assistance? Are you hurt?” Spencer carefully asked.

The girl lifted her head up, looking right at him with cold eyes. He wishes she was just looking at him, it felt like he was being looked right into. She was unraveling him, simply with her eyes. His soul was laid bare before her.

“…No, sorry if I scared you. I’m just trying to recharge my social battery.” Her hands rubbed over her forehead. She still made no move to get up.

Spencer carefully nodded, a small voice told him if he said the wrong thing, or made the wrong move that she would leave. He doesn’t want her to leave.

“I can relate to that, that’s why I also came out here.” Spencer said, he then tried to casually lean against the wall behind him. Once he came in contact with the wall, he felt it crumble under him. He quickly pulled away and wiped away the dirt from his cardigan.

And even though Spencer hates dirt, and he knows he will have to bleach his clothes and himself once he get’s home, he thinks it’s worth it. Simply because you giggled at him. He looked at you, still on the ground, but your lips were pulled into a grin. He couldn’t help but smile at you back.

“I thought you looked like a smart guy, guess I was wrong.” Your tone was teasing, and the playful insult causes him to blush in embarrassment.

“Yeah, well…Uhmm…Yeah..” And usually Spencer was quick with his words, his brain constantly on overdrive. And he could easily come up with some witty respond. His problem right now? The intense eye contact you guys held. Spencers only salvation was looking away. He took a deep breath and finally spoke,

“Well, actually I have three Phds and an IQ of 187. You tell me if that makes me an smart guy.”

“Three? Dude, how old are you?” You looked at him with big eyes.

“24.” At his answer you looked even more shocked, “Do I look that old?” He tried to tease you.

“No! No, its just I am 26 and I am not even close to three Phds, or an IQ of 187. I’m kind of envying you right now.” You slowly stood up, shaking out your legs.

“I also have eidetic memory.” You looked at him with confusion, “It’s, uh, commonly known as an photographic memory.”

“Now you’re just bragging. But being able to remember everything? That’s something I don’t envy. I love my mind for being able to repress things.”

“It’s true, it’s not always…easy. It’s very practical though in my line of work.” Spencer shifted from one leg to the other. Speaking to people wasn’t his forte, especially ones in his age rage who he was attracted to.

“Oh? What’s your occupation?” You tilted your head slightly to the side, looking him up and down.

“I work for the FBI, in the, uh, Behavioural Analysis Unit.” Spencer cleared his throat, trying to shake off his nervousness. He can talk to serial killers, but one pretty girl leaves him speechless.

“Wow! A doctor and agent? You are really an high achiever.” Spencer laughed slightly at your words, “Yeah, my name is Spencer Reid, by the way.”

You told him your name and stretched out your hands towards him. “Uhm, actually, did you know its safer to kiss then to shake hands? Yeah! It’s because of the-“

“Well, let’s kiss then.” You giggled at his stuttering, and the blush coating his cheeks and ears, “I’m just kidding! Unless..” Tip toeing towards him, you leaned your shoulder against the wall, looking right at Spencers side profile. He turned his head towards you, not wanting to miss a secound of looking at you.

His heart was pounding in his chest, his hands were starting to sweat.

“Can I have your number?” Spencer helplessly blurred out. Hopefully you were as interested in him as he was in you.

“Ah, I don’t think you will actually like me..” You trailed off, but still smiled at him.

“Why? You can’t know that.”

“Hmm, I do know, sadly. I’m not really…a good person, you know? I’m probably on some kind of watchlist.” You looked away from him, your finger was playing around with your lips.

“No way! I don’t believe you.” Spencer tried to convince you otherwise. In his head, he knew that this was a warn sign from you. Either you suffered from low self esteem, were not interested in him and tried to shake him off, or you were telling the truth. Please, be a liar. “What terrible thing did you commit?”

You hummed, your face losing its smile and you spoke in a whisper, “I’m a serial killer.”

Spencer’s blood ran cold at your words, he couldn’t tell if you were joking or not. But his question was quickly answered, because you started laughing, “You should have seen your face! For legal reasons I was joking, obviously.” You bumped your shoulder against his and made your way back to the door. “Bye bye, doctor Reid, you might get my number the next time we meet.” And with that you disappeared inside.

His saving grace was Morgan calling him, asking if he fell down the toilet or something. Spencer hurried back inside, the whole night he didn’t see your face again.

___

You always meet someone twice. Spencer could curse whoever came up with that phrase, but well. He also cursed himself. Wishing to meet the pretty stranger from last week shouldn’t be too much to ask for. But, with his bad luck, it is apparently.

Spencer got what he asked for, he met you again. Sadly, under bad circumstances. While he daydreamed about sitting across from you at a dinner, he didn’t really expect to see you sitting in the interrogation room at the DC police station. While he could see you through the glass, you weren’t able to see him.

Hotch and Gideon stood beside Spencer, looking into the room, studying you, “She won’t crack, she didn’t when she was 16 and she sure won’t now at 26.” Gideon said into the silent room, Hotch nodded his head.

“We still have to try, we have no other choice.” Hotch replied in his usual even tone.

Gideon looked at the file in his hand, he then made his way inside to you. He sat himself across from you and sighed, “Weren’t you supposed to keep out of trouble?”

“…I do.” Your voice was stable, your hand was playing around with your handcuff.

“Yeah? Well, it doesn’t look like that to me.” With that Gideon opened the file and put the pictures of the crime scenes on the table. Only catching a glimpse of the content of the pictures, you turn your head away to the wall. Spencer was able to catch you grimacing.

“Yikes, want me to pass out?”

“There is no blood in those pictures. Take a look at them.”

Slowly, you turned your head back towards Gideon, avoiding looking at the table. With a deep sigh you looked at the pictures, Your brows were furrowed, studying the pictures, or more like trying to, because after a few seconds you started gagging and quickly turned them around, so you didn’t have to see them again.

“What the hell does this have to do with me?”

The pictures weren’t even gruesome, for the standard of the FBI. It were simple corpses, no guts, blood, or even visible bruises.

“Where were you last Tuesday, from 8PM to 11PM?”

“…I was at home?”

“You have any witnesses?”

“Yeah, actually. We have cameras all around and inside the house. My car and phone are also both being constantly tracked. Don’t worry, Jason, I can’t make a step without everyone knowing.” And with that you leaned against your chair, your arms crossed across your chest. You were shutting down.

Gideon noticed this and got up, knowing this was as much as he could get. He joined the other men on the other side of the glass.

The team was depriving with the police department, on what next steps they should take.

“The Heart, known for his obsession with blood. It is actually an unsolved case in the FBI, the Heart was active from 2010 to 2013 and seemingly stopped his killing abruptly. The profile which was established back then was of a white male, in his 20’s to early 30’s, someone who was charismatic and worked in the medical field. What’s really interesting about this case is the time frame, or more like the time in which the kills committed. Usually, serial killers evolve, the time between kills becomes less and less, the need for a high rising. With this one here, the time frame between the kills becomes more, as if the killer is seemingly lost interest.” Spencer rambled on.

“That’s great and all, but what does this have to do with the girl we took into custody? I know her Daddy, and I’m afraid he will come in here raise Hell soon. Do we even have any evidence.” A random police officer called into the room.

“We are aware that our current custodee seems innocent, but we have reasons to believe that she is in fact the Heart killer. We just…weren’t able to prosecute her. This may change now. We can hold someone in custody without evidence for 48 hours, I advise that was use the time wisely.” Aaron said, establishing dominance. The team was aware that the police officers were antsy, convincing them to take you into custody was hard enough.

Their job was just about to become harder, because two men entered the police department.

“Tell me a good reason on why I shouldn’t sue you and your whole bloodline.” One of the men spoke angrily.

“Sir, do you know where your daughter was last Tuesday from 8PM to 11PM?” Gideon calmly asked the upset father, “She claims to have been at home. Can you support that statement?”

“I don’t have to, we have cameras at our hose. We can check right now, if you want to. The video files are uploaded to our cloud.” The father carefully phrased, not wanting to incriminate his daughter any further. He made eye contact with the other man, a lawyer, who nodded his head.

This was a quick process, the video files were send to Garcia and she checked for any kind of manipulation.

“Well, depending on who hears this, it’s either good or bad news. The alibi is waterproof, no! It’s bulletproof. Not even for last Tuesday, but for all the murder times. On the day she wasn’t home, you can easily track her to the campus library, where they have video surveillance. So, yeah, not our guy…gal.”

“Thanks, Garcia.” With that Hotch ended the phone call. He looked at the projection of you in your home in one video, in the next it’s set in the library. He really hoped this would be an easy wrap up.

“What if she has a partner?” Morgan threw into the room, wanting to nothing more then to send you away for life.

“No. She keeps to herself and seems to be introverted.” Hotch answered. “We have no other choice but to let her go. Reid, release her. This doesn’t mean we won’t keep an eye on her, of course.” With these words Hotch left the room, probably sharing the news with the other law enforcement members.

Spencer made his way to you, keys in his hand. He opened the door, and took his time studying you without the glass separating you both. It was the middle of the night, you simply wore a tank top and shorts, sleep wear. Across your legs and arms were countless bruises, some old and some new. Scars lined your skin, some on your neck, those were small and delicate. Others were an your arm, your wrists, your thighs. Of course, the mandatory knee scars from being a kid weren’t missing. And Spencer would nearly miss it, if he wasn’t painfully familiar with them.

Small, circular scars on your arm. Old track marks. They were scarred over and there was no bruising, a good sign.

You didn’t bother looking at who came through the door, your house being raided in the middle of the night kinda ruined your mood. All you want to do is sleep. For once in your life, you were innocent!

Spencer walked towards you, he then carefully unlocked your handcuffs. Looking up, you saw the cute guy from the club. You kinda missed him.

“I didn’t do it.” You quickly said, not knowing what else to do.

“…I know.” Spencer spoke quietly, your alibi saved you. “The, ah, victimology doesn’t fit at all, the Heart killed at random while this one, while using the same killing method, has a specific victim type.”

“Yeah, girls who look like me. Just because I’m squeamish as hell, doesn’t mean I can’t make the obvious connection.”

This is embarrassing for Spencer, because truthfully, he didn’t make the connection. Yet. Maybe he should look for a different career path. Once your hand was free, you massaged your temples. You left the room and walked into the police station, the officers looked uncomfortable. Spencer followed you.

“…It might be a copycat. The killing methods and Victimology suggest that it’s an obsessive fan. Have you noticed anyone following you recently? Or a constant feeling of being watched?” Spencer couldn’t help but ask you, any information is good information. And any attention from you is good attention.

You turned towards Spencer, looking up at him. He could feel the anger radiating off you.

“Or, unpopular opinion, I also didn’t commit the first murders and it’s the true killer returning. Ever thought of that, Phd boy? I was just accused of murder back then! Without any evidence! Why is there no evidence? Because I’m innocent! Just because your fucking senior over there used his what? Magic super powers of reading fucking body language? Get fucked, honestly.” You turned away from Spencer completely, choosing to only look at your father.

“We are…Sorry for the inconvenience, the profile just fit and we didn’t think it through. Life’s are at stake here, and you did commit a murder.” Hotch tried to defuse the tense atmosphere, the team knew that the police officers were very sceptical towards the BAU. This could ruin any relationship and progress they made.

“You call it murder, the Judge and I call it self defense. Agree to disagree, I guess? Or are you salty that you weren’t able to catch the phedophillic serial rapist back then? Sorry that I killed him when he attacked me, next time I will remember to just not defend myself, asshole.”

Your father put a hand on your shoulder, a signal to stop. Your lawyer thankfully didn’t look stressed out, so you didn’t say anything too incriminating. Crossing your hands over your chest, you decided to shut up for the rest of your stay here.

“We would love to help you, Agent. We truly do, but if this is all we would like to leave now.” Your father carefully said. Innocent until proven otherwise.

There is not much Hotch could do, since it was now clear that you were not behind the murders. He nodded his head, “Of course, once again we are sorry for the intrusion.”

With that you once again leave Spencer behind. How inappropriate would it have been to ask you for your number?

#spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x reader #Spencer reid x yn #angst #criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x fanfiction #criminal minds x y/n

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redwolf17 · 5 months

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So i'm curious why did you decide to kill Tyrion at the Blackwater. Don't get me wrong I despise Tyrion and he deserves all the humiliation and rejections he gets in Storm. I was just asking because I wondered how Tyrion would have reacted to Sansa calling Tywin a cowardly oathbreaker in public.

Hi anon! Totally a fair question. Someone else also asked about Tyrion recently over on Ao3, so I'm gonna copy/paste my answer.

GRRM loves Tyrion so, so much.

I… do not. While Tyrion is a very well written character, I do not enjoy him. Yes, Tyrion has his moments of kindness and generosity, he has some witty lines and compelling scenes... but I just cannot get over how vicious he can be. Yes, he suffered horrific abuse from Tywin which informs his determination to punch down against others. Yes, the ableism he faces sucks, and no one should have to endure it. That informs his actions; he is not cruel solely for the sake of being cruel.

But. But. This is a man whose reaction to Tywin's slaughter of Masha Heddle for the crime of being a hepless bystander was to reproach her pitiful corpse for events completely beyond her control. This is a man who sent Bronn to grab Shae (or rather, the prettiest whore he could find) like he was shopping for a carpet; Tyrion's chapters are steeped in some of the worst misogyny of any POV. Yes, Cersei is an incompetent asshole, but Tyrion constantly antagonizes her to his own detriment (just as he antagonized Catelyn and Lysa previously), and his contempt for Cersei and his "jokes" about wanting to rape her are disgusting. This is a man who creeped on the "beautiful" 12 year old Sansa throughout ACOK and BARELY managed not to rape her during ASOS.

I swear, the show whitewashes Tyrion so aggressively, people forget that in the books Tyrion made Sansa strip naked, HE stripped naked, he groped her breast, he made her look at his naked, erect penis, and only then, when he saw how terrified/repulsed Sansa was, did he finally stop. Not because he suddenly grew a conscience, but because he resented Sansa for not wanting him, for not pretending to want him, and blamed it on his looks/dwarfism rather than acknowledging she would have likely been just as terrified with ANY Lannister, because she's a 12 year old hostage facing imminent rape!

Tyrion murders Shae for the crime of being in Tywin's bed, as if she had any choice about being there. He resents her for testifying against him, as if Shae, a random sex worker, could have said no to Cersei and refused to bear witness. He wants to burn the whole Vale of Arryn in retribution for Lysa being a dick which, yes, she was, but his desire for retribution is outsized to say the least). Tyrion consistently resents the smallfolk for not worshipping him even though he puts 0 effort into PR whatsoever. He threatens the bedwarmer in Illyrio's house with rape and murder; he DOES rape the poor "sunset girl" later at a brothel.

GRRM loves Tyrion as a grey-and-getting-darker villain, and gives him some of the most unnecessary, bloated chapters throughout the series. GRRM sees Tyrion offer crumbs of kindness to Jon, to Bran, and thinks that somehow tips the scales against all the terrible things Tyrion does. But what other good things does Tyrion do? Like, I'm not giving him a medal for not raping Sansa, not raping terrified 12 year old girls is a LOW bar to clear! What other good deeds has Tyrion done?

Aaaaanyway, after all that rambling, here's my thoughts on Tyrion in TWQ. I really, REALLY had no interest in doing a twist on his book canon arc, which meant my options for what to do with him were pretty open. I could have done a redemption arc, but frankly, I didn't want to. It would require a LOT of time and effort to do it properly, and plenty of other fics have "redeemed" Tyrion (although usually by ignoring his vicious misogyny rather than by confronting it; or they just depict him as heroic from the start because the show nuked his characterization).

And I had zero interest in making Tyrion an ongoing villain, which is the approach some other fics have taken. Reading his ADWD chapters is punishment enough, let alone trying to write something that grotesque. Not to mention the... uh... not so great history of fiction often ignoring disabled people except to depict them as villains or helpless, agency-free pawns like poor Lollys Stokeworth. GRRM... sorta tries to handle disability with nuance, but I don't think he always hits the mark. Side note, Paul the Pious, Edythe, Bran, Jaime, and a plethora of disabled side characters both good and bad are my effort to push back on that trend.

So, by Part II, I already had a vague idea that TWQ was going to spiral into a larger tale, and I knew that doing anything with Tyrion after Part II would require a LOT of work I wasn't interested in doing. So... I decided not to do it. Writing fanfic is a hobby for fun, and developing an entire Tyrion arc I found worth telling did not sound fun. Especially since I knew I was going to force myself to tackle both Dany in Essos and the Others, which were/are a headache and a half but essential to the overall story. So... karma bit Tyrion in the ass, and a combo of his wildfire (which he used on his own men!) and Cersei (maybe breaking her arm was a bad idea?) finished him off.

#the weirwood queen #always enjoy a good ask #anti tyrion lannister #tyrion lannister

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hiemaldesirae · 1 day

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Okay this is mostly inspired by your newest post but like imagine an au where Alastor was bored in hell so he traveled through some radio waves and somehow got to Earth and he does this a lot but it’s mostly just to look around or to try some new meat eventually he would get bored after a few hours and go back to hell until he meets Vox at first he wasn’t that impressed he just saw Vox as another one of his short lived sources of entertainment but then slowly Vox became his favorite whenever Alastor was observing Vox it seems like something new and exciting will happen so you can imagine his excitement when he sees him step into a bar because if a sober Vox is already wild and unpredictable you could only imagine him drunk Alastor sits at table close to the corner not really interested in the drinks he watches Vox from afar as he downs a drink before just settling down and just watching the other patrons after a few minutes a man approaches Vox Alastor guesses he’s someone Vox knew for a while with the way he’s smiling ear to ear at him but he can’t really hear the details of their discussion Alastor knew not to get close to a drinking Vox he’s been called the guy with the fuckass bob enough times to learn that it probably wouldn’t be the best idea to get close but he’s content with watching from a distance even though he can’t hear what they are saying soon Vox gets up pays for his drink then urges to the man to follow him the pair make their way down the sidewalk still talking with Alastor following through the shadows and because of his new found proximity to Vox he now knows Vox in fact does not know the man Vox then grabs the man by his collar and pulls him into a ally way nearby as Alastor rounds the corner he’s greeted by quite the scene he sees Vox holding a bloody knife with the man he was spending the night with laying down on the ground presumably dead before Alastor can really react Vox turns to look at him then giving him a sinister smile he makes his way over to Alastor with to much calmness for a man that was caught red handed unless he was planning on killing him too but that would be absurd Alastor is much taller and stronger then Vox and he’s sure he knows this so alastor doubts he’s going in for the kill when he looks down he sees Vox staring at him still having that grin plastered on his face he raises his knife but not to kill Alastor no instead he gives him the knife before whispering "have fun with this one radio demon”then running away laughing probably going home but all Alastor could think at that moment was what fun Vox will be once he arrives in hell …wait radio demon????

wait. okay sorry im lost hold the phone. So vox is still human here, al's just upstairs creeping around because he's found a pretty human who he's locked onto for dragging downstairs with him???? right? so. does vox have supernatural powers of some sort too? or is alastor just like. very very bad at disguising himself and gets constantly seen while he's being a general Freak:tm:

im sorry nonny im sure this is a very intriguing and well-thought out concept but unfortuantely i am as dumb as a rock and you may need to follow me up on this one. im so sorry. i have no idea whats going on here

#ran rambles #general asks #radiostatic #hazbin hotel

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writinglittlemagics · 4 months

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Another Will Wood analysis while I edit a load of personal pieces and try to find an internship! I have a few ideas for this account >:]

The Impact of Masculinism on “Willard!”

“Willard!” is a unique song on an already wildly diverse album. This song, the only one that draws inspiration from a separate piece of media, tells the story of Willard Stiles, a lonely man who befriends rats to cope. The song offers an introspective view of Stiles’s view of humanity and how distanced he views himself. Stiles is affected by the masculinist people around him, which causes him to regard his sensitivities as something that makes him “other.” In the movie, Willard’s boss, Martin, constantly cites his masculinity as his reason for tormenting Stiles. In the song, Willard uses traditional male expectations self-deprecatingly.

Stiles opens the song like an admission of guilt, “You know I couldn’t hurt a fly, my friend / I’m not the type to step on ants” (Line 1). Being insecure about being non-violent is a common trait among men who are in highly masculine environments. Typical gender norms insist that men are to be the aggressors or unafraid of bloodshed. This machismo bloodlust is the foundation of masculinist ideals. A “good” man should strive for dominance over everything: the workplace, the home, and public spaces. Willard is not a man who strives for anything. He knows he can not fit in with the aggressive men at his office, stating, “I've failed to fit in into those nests that scrape the sky / Is there room for me in your cage?” (Line 6) He is also embarrassed about his emotional displays, namely, “I've nearly cried for moths that die at porchlight lamps,” and “Just seem haunted by my stupid urge to protect” (Lines 3 and 22). His sympathetic nature is a target for most of the people in Stiles’s life: his mother, who insists he kills his rats; his coworkers, who mock him; and his boss, who disparages him.

Like most men who struggle to fit into the masculine mold, Stiles feels an undue amount of shame. Feminism is for Everybody explains this reaction. It states, “These men identified themselves as victims of sexism, working to liberate men. They identified rigid sex roles as the primary source of their victimization…” (Hooks). As the song continues, Stiles starts to reject his role as a masculine man before extracting himself from humanity altogether. He ostracizes himself, hiding in closets with his rats and becoming a recluse. He states, “They'll call me crazy, but their words all seem made up to me / Maybe they just need more friendship like yours” (Line 24) and then regresses further into, “You might seem behind bars, but friend, this cage is inside out” (Line 35). The song concludes with a nod to the source material, quoting the climactic scene in which Willard uses his rats to murder Martin. This final scene solidifies the impact masculinity has had on Willard. He devolves from a man too timid to step on an ant to a man capable of premeditated murder. Willard is unfulfilled by his revenge and driven to madness, as Hooks predicts, claiming, “Many men are anguished because they do not engage the liberating critiques that could enable them to face that these promises were rooted in injustice and domination and even when fulfilled have never led men to glory” (Hooks).

(537 words)

Works Cited

hooks, bell. “FEMINIST MASCULINITY.” Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics, South End Press, Cambridge, MA, 2000, pp. 67–71.

“Will Wood – Willard!” Genius, 29 July 2022, genius.com/Will-wood-willard-lyrics.

Willard. Directed by Daniel Mann, Performances by Bruce Davison, Elsa Lanchester, and Ernest Borgnine, Bing Crosby Productions, 1971

Wood, Will. “Willard!” “In Case I Make It”, Will Wood, 2022, track 15. Spotify, https://open.spotify.com/track/1eZQFmVxyAeE3SHppgMxce?si=517f42b8c2e04c80

#writeblr #writing #will wood #literary analysis #song analysis #queer theory #willard

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midnightrings · 5 months

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Still trying to collect my thoughts after watching the final episode, but here’s some stuff I’ve been thinking about while watching it.

(spoilers, obviously)

I really, really loved Hawk and Tim’s dynamic in the 50s scenes (and 80s scenes too, of course, but we’ll get to that). I feel like this was also a point in their lives where there was at least a slight chance that they could’ve made it work – until Hawk screwed it up again. They’ve both clearly grown (especially Tim), their relationship appears quite well-balanced and there wasn’t that much baggage between them yet.

Looks like they kept a good amount from the book. Hawk did report Tim, preventing him from getting his dream job as well as barring him from government work altogether. Similar to what I suspected, Lucy was pregnant and Hawk realized that he needed Tim out of his life. It was overall awful but not as bad as I expected – though maybe only because I already knew it would happen.

It’s heartbreaking how Tim has realized time and time again that he needs to let Hawk go – including writing that letter to him, which I guess Hawk never found out about. Tim even told him that there were no expectations on his part, yet Hawk desperately wanted him in his life, only to push him away in the most horrible way shortly after it.

At least Tim did know the truth and, surprisingly, Hawk let him know himself (through Mary). I really thought Tim would find out about it sometime before ’86. It makes a lot of sense though, considering the scene of Tim in the hospital, watching baby Jackson. Tim clearly realized himself that he doesn’t have a place in Hawk’s life. This explains why Tim was constantly urging Hawk to be there for his family, but also why he wasn’t as hostile towards Hawk as he should have been. I mean, there was definitely some resentment on Tim’s part after ’57, but it wasn’t as big as I expected it to be after Hawk’s betrayal – which is why I always assumed Tim didn’t know the truth. But while Tim might have felt betrayed by Hawk’s actions, he probably did understand his reasoning in the end. Which makes it even sadder, because Hawk could have easily talked to him – perhaps Tim would’ve left by himself, realizing that working together would not end well for either of them.

Now, the 80s … I really love how we finally saw more affection between Hawk and Tim. I got teary eyed (while simultaneously having the biggest smile on my face) when Hawk lay down next to him in the hospital bed – this was so sweet and I was hoping for a moment like this. As I said before, I don’t mind that Hawk never told Tim that he loved him – even though I’ve been hoping it would happen at some point. But I feel like there wasn’t a point where a love declaration like this would have fit in, and Hawk kissing Tim publicly was a way better confession of his feelings than any “I love you” could have been. Tim was clearly at peace with himself, and I also believe that he knew that Hawk loved him – which is the only thing that matters in the end.

I guess that Tim’s “wrenching decision” really was a red herring of sorts. Love that they had him fight until the end, and also that we never really saw his death. We all knew that he would die, and letting the audience know through the AIDS quilt and Hawk telling his daughter that he loved Tim was perfect.

Also, Jerome? My sweet baby … that scene between him and Marcus in the gym made me bawl my eyes out. “You’re innocent” – “I’m innocent” … kill me now please.

Also, I’m so glad that I was right about Lucy leaving Hawk. She deserves to find happiness.

Hawk’s storyline was definitely something I was looking forward to the most (and I could probably write entire essays about his character). But I like that they still have him trying to protect his family, ready to leave if Lucy wanted him to. It just makes more sense for his character than to have him suddenly blindly choose Tim. At the same time, he did everything he could for Tim. I never expected Hawk to come out, but I love how he clearly found comfort within his love for Tim – getting him into that gala, confronting that guy (forgot his name, I think it was Dave?), kissing Tim publicly and confessing his love for Tim to his daughter. It was all a bit too late, but also not really – Hawk making the decision to fly to San Francisco and to then stay with Tim definitely helped him grow for the better. He lost everything in the end, but maybe he can finally find peace as well. Perhaps it even needed Tim’s death for Hawk to come to terms with his love for Tim. It’s sad but their story was always meant to end this way.

I’ll probably make a million posts about this show – I have so many thoughts and can’t wait to rewatch it all.

#fellow travelers #i need some time to process this episode but damn that show is amazing #can't wait to overanalyze every second of it!#meta

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midorikawawas · 10 months

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Thoughts on Goldenheart (Comic and Movie)

I obsessed over Nimona as I rest in between my finals, especially about the difference between having goldenheart being established as arch nemesis in the comic instead of us seeing the event of their separation in the movie adaptation as a recent incident, and proceed to have said event not be a memory but a present issue both characters have to deal with in the timeframe of the movie. I keep saying how Nimona (movie and comic) are the same story told differently. In the movie, it's totally believable for them to act the way they did when all the events happened in just a matter of days instead of years.

The way comic! Bal was full of anger and said that if someone had to kill Ambrosius, it had to be him. He's valid in his rage because he's had time, y e a r s, to see Ambrosius be the star knight with no regards of not only him causing Balllister's fall from grace, but also completely ignoring and denying his participation in that event and sticking to an empty role he doesn't even fulfill properly. While comic! Ambrosius acts like his own error has nothing to do with him, Movie! Ambrosius is trying to keep it together for most of the movie when he knows he hurt Bal. I think the nature of the arm chopping incident changing too was a great detail! The whole arm chopping joke is amazing, but it's also such a good way to constantly bring up how messed up that was, as we remember it was in a live event, a stadium full of people, and honestly it could've killed Ballister. There's a sense of urgency in the movie because the queen's murder got added instead of how in the comic the institution discarded Ballister for being disabled. But the core of the issue stays: The man Ballister loved and relied on hurt him.

In both versions, Ambrosius did something unthinkable, but in the comic he blanks out and hurts Bal probably out of jealousy, then time makes him forget. Now in the movie, it was a valid impulse to have, it's just that him doing that to Ballister is what makes us all so surprised, and still we have him confronting that event, coming to terms with it and still being unable to make an excuse. He doesn't even want to. It's really a matter of timing and context I guess. Yes, both versions of the same character are different, but to the core that's how I understand it.

And then there's bar fight.

There's nothing that I loved the most than the bar fight. Both versions. Because again, time and context. Ballister in the comic, as I mentioned, has had enough time in the shadows to see Ambrosius and grow bitter, and him winning demonstrates once again who was the better fighter and better knight, but Ballister doesn't win anything from that fight. In the movie, Ballister clings to the hope that Ambrosius will be on his side and that he never betrayed him. Ambrosius is the only person that supported him and cared for him all those years in the academy, and Ballister knows he's a man of honor. That's why he accepts going to the bar and pleads him to believe him. Them having a physical fight in this context would've made no sense since they're so pathetically in love with each other that the short separation they've been enduring is probably killing them at the moment. That's why that "Because I love you" it's so amazing to me. It happened right after Ballister rejects Ambrosius' touch. Something... unthinkable, if we go back to the first scenes (They're strong with the PDA is lovely) At that point this version of Ambrosius is tired of everything that's been going on, and he would only let Ballister see this side of him.

Then there's how they kind of switched roles, because in the comic, it's obvious that Ambrosius is still carrying a torch for Ballister even after all those years and their new roles he doesn't want to let anyone change. And in the movie, Ballister is who needs Ambrosius, to the point he excuses him mutilating him. But it's because Ambrosius is in this context, everything Ballister had prior to forming his bond with Nimona. For Comic! Ballister to accept/mention he still loves Ambrosius the situation had to be pushed to the most dangerous limits. It's because of pride and the bitterness that grew in Ballister over many years and that just made him cold. Movie! Ballister has that big wound in his heart, freshly cut and pouring out a pain he never imagined Ambrosius would be the culprit of. He freezes when Nimona says the most logic comments in the situation. "It's complicated" he responds, and Nimona can't understand it, mostly because she sees it from the point of view of someone who's been betrayed and rejected, and can't trust anyone. U can't blame her.

But Ballister was still hopeful, because just a matter of days before Ambrosius and him still loved each other. When Ambrosius let them go in the market, he knows Ambrosius can still be reached, so he keeps being hopeful. So much Nimona herself helps him.

I have so much more to say but those are still in a space without shape that I can't reach at the moment. Maybe after a rewatch and a Re-read I will. Overall, I'm so glad this movie exists.

#nimona #nimona spoilers #nimona 2023 #ballister blackheart #ambrosius goldenloin #ballister boldheart #goldenheart

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bronx-bomber87 · 8 months

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Happy Saturday :) We have reached S2 Finale. I can’t believe we are here already. Feels like I just started on S2. This has really helped me get through this unusually long hiatus. Fun we can do this together. Thank you all for lovely likes, comments, and re-blogs on last one. I had a lot of fun writing it. Not a ton of Chenford in this one sadly.

So it'll be a lot shorter than our content heavy ones. It is closing an important chapter for Tim though which is important to go over. This is a fairly Nolan forward ep and its good but low Chenford. It’s time to close out this season so let’s get started.

2x20 The Hunt

We start off with our couple just starting their day. Tim confides in her about an informant he has a beat on. Love him confiding in her about this BTW. They are a slow burn with a lot of little pay offs like this we get to see along the way. I love it. Tim tells her about vice having an informant for the last 9 months in the Derain organization. A man named Cisco. Lucy gets excited cause means that he could give them Serj. A much needed win after losing the weapon that killed Chris. They don't have much on him right now. So this would be huge if they could track him down. I love how intently she listens to him knowing him sharing this is a huge show of trust.

Although this is a great lead for them Tim is worried he’s been killed. Says he hasn’t replied to a meet since yesterday. Before we continue I must note I will forever and ALWAYS love him opening doors for her. Like second nature habit with him. He never allows himself to go first. Makes my shipper heart happy. Chivalry is sexy af with Tim Bradford. He shows that constantly with her. I've said before it's the little things that make me happy. I also love them having their own secret op. I need more of this in S6. They’re going to try and track down this informant and see if they can find out where he’s hiding if he's not dead.

Their secret op is going to start with trying to see if he can be found at his normal places. Tim mentions checking their new sex trade businesses and a karaoke bar. Lucy makes a joke how she can’t believe a karaoke bar could be a front for a brothel. Tim and his jaded cop ways saying it’s LA of course it could be haha I mean where’s the lie? Ha That anywhere in this city is a cover for a brothel. Her reply and facial expression is priceless LOL

Lucy mentions it’s Rachel’s last night. Asking if Tim has anything planned? Tim doesn’t say much just dinner and taking her to airport. He is being very detached about the whole thing. Defaulting a little to his old ways with this. Lucy can’t help herself and give him a hard time about the airport though. Let’s note the smile he’s flashing in the first gif when she’s teasing him. You know that man loves it when she does.

She also calls him out on his ‘visiting’ plans. Clearly Rachel told her Tim would come see her after she moves. Tim continues his further detachment. Says no that he’s just going to be straight with her. Rip that emotional bandaid off about this. Insisting just like he did in 2x18 that long distance doesn’t work. (Also this scene continues my love of their height difference. These shots are my fav. I must comment on them every time ha)

Lucy can't help herself in trying to help him see it could work. She hates him having to go through this. The look on her face says it all. She hates the idea of him just giving up. That continued guilt of setting them up and watching it fall apart. Tim is decided and says no it’s not going to and he doesn’t see it happening at trying. Now we all know if it was Lucy he would wait for her. Make the effort. Show her she’s worth that effort. But this is Rachel and she is not that person for him.

Hell it’s why in 5x08 when Tim tells Lucy ‘She deserves someone who’s worth the effort’ was him saying she would be for him. That he would be willing to make ANY effort for her. Rachel was not that for him and this just shows in this episode. She helped him heal a lot post-Isabel but not deep enough of a connection for that kind of effort. Lucy finishes their convo out with saying she’s going to miss Rachel. Tim cracks a little emotionally and says me too…

They’ve reached one of the spots they’re checking for Cisco. Once again Tim opens the door for her. She even says Thank you *be still my heart* I love these two so much. They use the guise of their ABC’s to check out this place. To be able to get eyes on everyone there if possible by doing this. The lady who runs this place is a real peach. Tells them to kiss her ass. That she follows the rules. Even the dumb ones. Tim doesn't care about her attitude they are there for a reason.

They have everyone step out into the hallway. Clearly seeing if they can get eyes on Cisco if he's there. This is a pretty slick way of getting him to show himself. To be able to get to him without exposing the real purpose of their visit. I love watching them work in the field for this reason. They are a well oiled machine at this point. Very fun to watch them in action. I will say it is sexy to watch Tim dissect this business with his cop eyes. Walking through the hallway as Lucy follows his lead. Ready to follow any play he has in mind. Lucy finds the one door still shut. Alerts Tim and he knocks on the door to get them to come out. That’s where they find Cisco thankfully.

Tim pretends he is coping an attitude with him and shoves him back into the room. He "searches" him so they can talk. Cisco says after the shooting everyone's phones were taken. So Tim gets him a new phone since his old one was taken. Slips it into his pocket during his "search' Tells him to text him Serj’s location. Not gonna lie love watching him in this mode. 'Take no shit from anyone' mode right now. He’s already suppressing how he’s feeling about Rachel leaving so he’s a little pent up. It’s coming out here just a bit. Tim ends their convo and says he’s clean to the hallway of people. Then he and Lucy leave having gotten what they came for.

Rachel calls Tim expecting him to be at the station. She’s on speakerphone so Lucy can hear everything. He says the day got away from him he can be back in 20 minutes. Clearly having forgotten the time for their dinner. Lucy interrupts and says Cisco texted them a location. You can see the regret on his face he apologizes he won’t make it now. Rachel is also devastated he can’t make it. He apologizes profusely.

She tells him she’ll text him when she lands…In New York…Poor Tim looks so sad he’s disappointed her. He’s such a loyal person to not come through for someone is going to weigh on him. Before Lucy can say a word he says ‘it’s better this way’ her face though... Lucy has learned when to say something and when not to. This is one of those times. Doesn't say a word let's him be. She’s hurting for him though. It's written all over his face how upset he is about this. Not the way he wanted them to end.

Luckily they’re able to get to converge on Serj quickly and arrest him. Tim is able to catch her before she leaves. This is a huge moment for growth for him believe it or not. Instead of just shunting away his feelings about her leaving. (Which he was doing this entire ep and ever since she announced she was leaving really) And ignoring everything their relationship was for him he faces it. Tim's way of showing her this relationship meant a lot to him. Honestly It did she was his first real one since his divorce. It was an important chapter for him. I’ve said it all season. I am grateful to Rachel. To everything she helped him heal over.

Showing him he could open up again and have a healthy relationship. One with the possibility of a deep future. She helped heal that portion of himself. Show him he was capable of it. Which ultimately opened him up for Lucy in the future. Tim tells her he’s willing to actually give this long distance thing a go. He can't predict the future but wants to try. Now we all know they don’t make it past this episode. Because she was not his person. The growth is him pushing past his usual M.O. of suppression.

By facing what he was feeling and trying to make it work instead of being stubborn and not even trying. Lucy set them up because she wanted him to get past his S1 trauma. To push past all the crap Isabel dragged him through last season. To see him happy. That he deserved that so much in her opinion. So I’ll always be grateful for the role Rachel played in his life. It helped him eventually get to where he could be with Lucy. After this episode this chapter with her is now closed. I would get a kick out of her finding out about them now. Be interesting what she would say. Alrighty that’s all she wrote for s2 finale.

~~~~~

Side Notes-Non Chenford

Not a ton of chenford the episode mainly focus on John and his terrible decision making skills LOL I would've done things so differently than he did my god. Pained me to watch his terrible choices through out the episode.

Only good thing he does is go to Roslyn for insight. But the rest I would've done so differently. Harper put her career on the line for him and he just did most of it with out her. Loved Armstrong saying 'You know your problem John? You think you're better than people.' He was a dirty cop but damn if that isn't true LOL

Kills me every time to watch him tear apart that beautiful home looking for the evidence though.

Unreal we’re done with s2. Thank you to everyone who’s been with me since the pilot, to the newer ones who’ve joined me in s2, I appreciate you all more than I can say. The likes/comments/reblogs are the best. I shall see you in s3 :)

#Caitlin Rewatches The Rookie #chenford #chenford hiatus #summer rewatch #waiting on s6 #s2 #2x20 The Hunt #the rookie 2x20 #otp: doing my job #otp: you know me so well. too well #otp: some things matter more #the rookie #tim bradford #lucy chen #tim x lucy #lucy x tim #eric winter #melissa o'neil #tim bradford x lucy chen

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