#the fact is if you never respond to my messages. act like you can’t get away from me fast enough | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

genshxn · 8 months

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dan heng being bad at feelings, the sequel.

started writing this pre-1.3, so i am once again emphasizing that i am making shit up. (well, 1.3 dropped while still working on this and the TB mission was rather lacklustre, so i'm gonna half ignore it).

sorry for any typos/mistakes/whatever, most of this was written at dubious hours of the night.

contains. mild-moderate canon divergence, dubious jing yuan shenanigans, dh being somewhat down bad. i dropped a bit too much spice in, so it is no longer “mild”. take that as you will.

7.5K words. THIS IS SO FUCKING EMBARRASSING.

here's the first part in case you haven't read it. you're still not the trailblazer.

tags: @akhiran @cypunk-0 @fiona782 @seelelovesbronya @bleakqblake @xiaos-poems

this place is not a place of honour. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here…nothing valued is here. Below 15, DNI. Go away.

the next day, you awoke to a feeling of emptiness at your side. any part of the bed that your limbs weren’t splayed upon was long cold with dan heng’s absence. you were alone, still left in the nest of sheets and pillows he arranged himself. it couldn’t have all been some kind of fever-dream, could it?

no, any such possibility was dashed when you looked at the messages on your phone. one unread, left two hours ago.

with the ellipsis and all. oh, the self-inflicted misery. (does he really consider every single person his enemy?) you sighed, swinging your feet off the side of the bed to get up. if you knew him well enough, then you already knew the next little while was going to be tricky, to say the least. it was obvious what his plan was from the beginning, with him abandoning your side at the sun’s first rays: avoidance.

and avoid you, he did. in the denouement after phantylia’s attack, he still had to be around you, but the stiltedness he carried with him was palpable. he made a point to stand as socially acceptably far from you. it was almost like he was acting like a ghost solely to you. elusive, non-communicative, only seen out of the corner of your eye. perhaps leaving you with the lingering feeling of being watched, and ultimately gone before you could even call his name. in fact, he quite literally ghosted you. he wouldn’t even respond to your messages.

once the day after the final events rolled around, you thought that maybe he would have had enough time to finally be able to face you again, but no. apparently he elected to confine himself to the archives the moment he returned aboard the express. however, this didn’t deter you from going knocking on his door.

"dan heng?" you tapped on the sealed door. your ear was right up against the frame, listening intently.

whatever shuffling was coming from within fell still at your voice.

"dan heng, i know you’re in there. i just heard you stop moving."

there was more silence, then followed by a sigh. "did pom-pom not relay my one request?"

"no, they did. told me that i’m not allowed near the archives."

"yet you’re still here…" his voice was strained, and distant from the door. he must have been sitting either at his desk or on his thin, messy futon. beyond that, it was hard to imagine what he was doing in there, or even what he looked like. it was surprising. you thought he struggled to control his form, but it seemed no problem when he wasn’t with you. so was he the regular old dan heng sitting in there? or the vidyadhara that laid next to you that night?

"you really think i’m gonna listen? i never do." you squared yourself further towards the door. "now, c’mon. we’re already talking, so can’t you just—"

"n-no, i can’t," he cut you off. "i… i’m sorry, but not here, and not like this."

"can you at least tell me why you say you can’t be around m—?" almost as if on cue, in came an angry pom-pom inbound like a squishy freight train.

"hey! what did pom-pom just say?!" they cried. "can’t you follow one simple rule for the time being?"

as pom-pom ushered you away from the archives with weak thumps to the back of your legs, you grunted to yourself. you were tempted to chuck them in the opposite direction, but alas, such a thing was not in the cards for you. after all, it would be wise to not tempt fate with the conductor. things seemed like they were going to be more difficult than you anticipated.

░░░░░░░

early the next morning, long before either march or stelle would rise, you shuffled your way into the parlor car in search of food. if it was going to be anything like yesterday, you were anticipating being the only one in the parlor car. however, to your surprise, there was another person present when you silently closed the door behind you—dan heng. he was in his regular appearance of shorter, fluffy hair and his regular attire. you sighed as quietly as you could, staring at the back of his head that leant on his wrist, propped up on the table. seeing him staring dejectedly at the food was a sorry sight.

the unspoken tradition you had with him was that when the whole express wasn’t eating together, it’d always be you two sharing your meals together. it began when you first joined the express—after dan heng himself, but before march. left adrift as a vagrant amidst the stars, you were all too familiar with the feeling of loneliness. it was always at its worst when you managed to gather together enough scraps to resemble the meals you used to eat in your old home. to you, when possible, meals were something that should be shared in the company of others. so when you first saw dan heng sat alone on your first proper morning aboard, you saw part of yourself in him. a part that you wanted gone, now that you had a new home. so you sat yourself down next to him, your own food in hand. you were met with some minor (albeit polite) resistance, but you being the stubborn ass you were, would not have it. you knew your persistence was risky, but it paid off. not long after that, he would wait until you were sitting with him.

so to see that sight left you saddened, but also vehemently annoyed. normalcy was out the window thanks to this baffling, self-imposed restriction he had against you. as quietly as you could, you stalked up behind him. moving as lightly as possible felt like it was the only way possible to get closer to him. it wasn’t like he developed a sudden allergy to your presence or something, was it?

you were successful in thwarting his pre-occupied senses as you reached the velvet couch. but maybe you were too successful, because he almost leapt out of his skin when you planted yourself down next to him. you leaned against the table and spoke. "how about us talking if it’s over breakfast?"

he did manage to calm down, but not by a lot, and not enough to give you a reply. his expression was still frazzled as he struggled to keep himself in place.

"can you please tell me if i’ve done something wrong? i don’t understand why we’re suddenly like strangers again," you said, reaching out to put your hand atop his one that was clenched at his side. but he snatched it away before you could feel the warmth of it.

"it’s my fault. you’ve done nothing," he said. "but please, i need some time before i can talk to you properly."

he turned to get up and leave, but you caught him by the sleeve. "w-wait, by why?" you trailed off, voiced far weaker than intended.

the look he gave you was weird. it was a jumble of confused emotions, but the most you could make out was nervousness. you had no idea what that light flush could have meant for you. his mouth parted to make some sort of reply, and you could have sworn you the glimpse of sharpened canines. "since when have you had fangs in this appearance?" you blurted out after doing a double take.

his eyes flared wide open and a hand flew over his mouth. "s-since never." with that, he slipped from your grasp. "please excuse me."

you watched incredulously as he walked out of the parlour car and back towards the archives as if he had wooden knees. you had no idea what just happened. rejection, you supposed. but considering how he was that night, it made no sense. nothing about this made any sense.

whatever it was, it was slowly eroding your patience, leaving you biting the inside of your lips in irritation. it’s true you were doing some type of avoidance when his alternate form was finally revealed, but it was nothing of this calibre. it was almost impossible for it to be the case with dan heng, but if this really was some kind of petty revenge, he may as well have whipped out a steel chair after you knocked shoulders with him.

░░░░░░░

your shameful failure of an interaction left you in need of recuperation. you hadn’t felt that irked and downright baffled since one of herta’s curios fell on your head. so now, you were blathering a ranting tirade at stelle and march over some snacks, all in the parlour car. "i swear to whatever aeon’s listening, he’s turned emo or something." you folded your arms across your chest, sinking down in your plush chair.

"like he wasn’t before?" stelle mumbled, not looking up from whatever gacha game she was playing on her phone.

"eh, not really. he does have his moments, though." march shrugged, grabbing a single chip. "but yeah, i’ve never seen anything like this. it’s so weird, he almost never avoids you like this!"

"hence why i’m so confused."

"things seemed to get pretty tense between the two of you after he had his magical girl transformation," stelle added while shovelling a handful of chips into her mouth, still not looking up. "then maybe… the day after phantylia, he got even weirder."

"yeah, like, he won’t go near you for some reason, but he keeps staring at you so longingly and sighing like you’re the last cookie in the jar and he’s been told he can’t have any more!" march said with the melodramatic flourish of a swoon.

"that one sounds like it’s based on real experiences." stelle cast her a sideways glance, to which march let out a sniff and wiped away a dry tear.

"just how much has he been doing that?" you muttered, unable to comprehend.

"a fair amount from what i’ve seen. he’s looked like a kicked puppy every single time," march said. "well, as much as dan heng can look like a kicked puppy."

"not that he’s particularly talkative, but i’ve tried asking him about it. was only met with howling winds of jarilo-vi’s everwinter storm." stelle placed her phone down on the table and sat back with her arms crossed. "but now, he’s just being straight up weird. (y/n), what’d you do to him?"

"yeah, i mean, he won’t even eat in the mornings if you’re there!" march cried.

your nails dug into your knees as you looked at your lap. you could feel a heat creeping onto your face as you recalled him so close to you. his words still rung in your head. if they were true, then what the fuck was he doing now? "i—i don’t really want to say, since it’s between him and i," you said. "but some pretty… significant things happened, i guess."

march suddenly drew in a comically loud gasp. "DID HE FINALLY CONFE—" she began, but you clapped your hand over her mouth before she could finish.

"must’ve," stelle said, leaning forward with her hands on the table loosely clasped in front of her.

"it wasn’t… exactly like that." your voice was low. your attempts to protect your dignity were feeble at best. it’s true, he never explicitly told you he has feelings for you in the classic format of ‘i like you’, but… who were kidding, it was a confession in all forms except literalness. you grabbed at your face, hiding the creeping heat behind your hands with a groan.

"no, it was totally a love confession. he’s been head over heels for you for a while now! even when i first met you two, it was so obvious he had a big ol’ crush on you. how’d you not notice it?!"

"cuz they’re denser than dan heng." stelle deadpanned, staring right at you.

"if you’re going to be making indirect insults about me, at least do it to my face," a familiar voice muttered from somewhere a distance behind you. in walked dan heng, eyes closed and pinching the bridge of his nose. he was once again in his normal appearance. stelle immediately squashed you down beneath the square table, leaving you only to look at everyone’s legs.

"oh, so the elusive dan heng finally graces us with his presence, huh?" you couldn’t see march’s face, but you knew she was making a half-lidded, unimpressed frown at him—the certified march classic.

"i’ve had a lot of information to collate and put into the archives, so i’ve been busy—" his words stopped short. from around the bend of the chair’s edge, you could see him inch closer to the table.

"been busy what? you just stopped talking." march sounded confused.

"is that… (y/n)’s scent?" his tone was far sharper, but his wording sounded unsure.

"are you calling them stinky? that’s kinda rude, isn’t it?" march frowned.

"huh? no, of course not!" he sputtered. "it’s just v-vidyadhara senses. they’re quite acute." there was the shuffling of some fabric. he must have crossed his arms.

"well i say it’s cuz you’re going heehee-silly-delulu with your big fat crush on them." march chimed in. your eyes widened as you frowned. why were they both baiting the literal dragon?

the only sound that came out of dan heng was something like an indignant cry that was cut-off at its head. "i… i do not—"

"you don’t like them? alright, keep telling yourself that," stelle said.

"…what hand does (y/n) have in this? they were just here, weren’t they?" he took a few steps towards the table. you imagined him with a strained look on his face, fighting to keep his composure like he yesterday. as he was stood right in front of you, you felt yourself shrinking back. it was maybe only seconds until ground zero—until everything hit the fan. "because that’s their scent nearby…" he changed his footing just a touch, and the second you saw the tips of his fluffy hair peak down past the table, you launched headlong into him. not by your own volition, but because a heeled boot slammed into your lower back, jetting you forward. your face collided with some part of his legs (of which was not very soft), sending you both in the same direction with simultaneous cries. there was a significant thud when dan heng hit the floor, and your head knocked into something bony.

your eyes cracked open, rubbing your forehead with a groan, but all sounds fell silent when you realized you were hovering between his knees. you stared up at him with wide eyes and a stifled breath, where he met your owlish gaze with his own. in other words, you were almost right between his legs. both of your faces lit like infernos, but neither of you moved. a grand total of two seconds passed before the vidyadhara features came out. it was quick—his horns rose from his head, and his hair spilt over his shoulders. his tail appeared behind him, laying still. even his clothes suddenly swapped out on him. his chest rose and fell as his breath seemed to quicken.

"s-sorry," you swallowed thickly. in almost an instant, he dug one of his clawed hands into his arm. he clambered to his feet, unable to look you in the eye.

"wh-what the hell was that?" his voice cracked.

"fuck, that was my bad." stelle said from behind you.

"ngh, you… please excuse me," he quickly turned and strode back towards the archives, still holding onto his arm. you hadn’t moved from the floor when you watched the passenger cabin’s door close behind him.

"what the heck, stelle?!" march cried, startling you.

"holy fuck, i’m so sorry. i did not think it’d go like that," stelle said. when you looked back over, she was leaning back and had raked her bangs back, hand still on her forehead.

"how did you think it’d go?" you groaned, unsteadily raising to your feet once again.

"i dunno, but not like that."

"why’d he suddenly change like that, i wonder?" march tapped her finger to her chin, looking off to the side.

"cuz he’s down bad." stelle looked very confident in her answer.

you almost choked on your spit.

"he’s down bad, but then he keeps running off 'cuz refuses to let himself be so."

"what kind of a theory is that?!" march huffed.

"a simple observation. mr. yang says i’m perceptive, so i have final authority on all judgements ever made." stelle crossed her arms over her chest, face seldom making any expressions. "and i say exactly what i said."

you stood with your head hanging in your hands, burning with embarrassment. things couldn’t keep going on like this. if this was the new dynamic, then how were any of you supposed to function while you’re out trailblazing? how were any of you supposed to function even just normally? that was it. you raised your head until your eyes lifted from behind your hands, a new resolve filling your blood. maybe jing yuan might know something.

░░░░░░░

managing to secure a time to speak to jing yuan was unbelievably easy. then again, you should gave guessed it’d be. over messages, he told you that since he’s been doing nothing but resting, he’s incredibly bored—someone to see or speak to is more than welcome. and so, it quickly was organized that you could stop by a planned location in aurum alley to see him.

the time soon rolled around, as long as it took. during the day, as expected, there was no sign of dan heng having any interest in interacting with you normally, much to your growing irritation and mild chagrin. even march and stelle were shaking their heads and clicking their tongues in disapproval.

it didn’t take long for you to get there. you agreed to meet him in a small, secluded area, just out of the way of eyes that might seek to pry into the general’s private business. it was a bit into the early evening. it wasn’t too hard to find him sitting at his table since he wasn't exactly the most conspicuous person out there. the golden artificial sunlight poured in from an oblique angle overhead, coating the tucked-away courtyard in a honeyed light. once he saw you approaching, jing yuan cast you one of his usual sleepy, cattish smiles.

"um, hello," you spoke, pulling out a seat next to him.

"and to what do i owe the pleasure?" there was almost a purr in his voice. "tell me, what is it you wished to speak about?" he leaned forward, resting his head on his wrist propped up on the table. "or did you simply come here to chat with me because you felt like it?" he made a closed-eyed smile laced with mischief.

"ah, i’m sorry to disappoint, but it’s because i’m having a bit of a dilemma." you scratched the back of your head with an awkward laugh. "please hear me out on this one, but it’s about dan heng."

"oh, dan heng? what about him?" jing yuan tilted his head. "as it stands, i’m afraid you might know him better than i do, unfortunately. so i don’t know if i would be able to provide the best of help for you." there was a faint, bittersweet smile on his lips, making you bite your own.

"it’s, ah, a little more about him as a vidyadhara, i suppose. i’m not sure if he has anything in common with his previous incarnation, but i thought there must be something there."

"well, i can say his obstinance seems to have certainly survived reincarnation."

"it’s thriving," you huffed, at which jing yuan lightly laughed.

"so is that the root of your problem? him being too stubborn on something?"

"that’s about it, yeah." you pressed your lips into a line. "he’s been avoiding me for… reasons i won’t divulge… and i don’t what i can do to get him to talk to me again."

"you don’t need to put it like that. i can tell he really likes you," he said, the trace of a smug grin on his face. after you coughed loudly, he continued. "he’s rather obvious if you know what you’re looking for. but anyway, what happened between you two? if i’m allowed to know, that is."

you swallowed nervously. should you really be revealing everything like this? you did it anyway. "one night, we said a few things of… i guess questionably romantic nature to each other, and he reacted in a way that i think was influenced by some sort of… vidyadhara shenanigans."

jing yuan looked at you with raised eyebrows and wide eyes. "go on."

"he hauled me off to his bed and then got uncharacteristically affectionate. he had a back-and-forth with self-doubt once he realized i was really confused by it all, but i told him it’s fine. i mean, i even pet his horns out of my own volition and stuff." it was all coming out at this point. "then he eventually drifted off and then pretty much declared his feelings in his half-sleep. but even though i told him i’m fine with him doing whatever he was doing, he still decided to run off the next morning. i’ve tried to talk to him repeatedly, but he won’t reply to my messages and he almost freaks out every time i’m in his vicinity. i don’t get it!"

"mm, that’s quite the situation on your hands there," jing yuan hummed. there was a mischievous spark in his eye, and you weren’t sure if you liked the look of it. "now, i couldn’t tell you the specifics, but if you say he got ’uncharacteristically affectionate’, then that’s definitely some old vidyadhara response. they can get very protective over the things they love."

your gaze dropped somewhere in front of your as your face prickled with heat at his words.

"but now, i’d wager he’s stuck in some sort of self-imposed battle of will against himself."

"and how would you suggest i get him out of it?"

"i suppose there is technically the option of waiting this out," he glanced at your face. you looked embittered at such an inane suggestion, making him laugh. "or you could simply make him lose the battle, since it sounds like he’s set on taking it ad infinitum, if needed."

"small issue… i’m now allowed near the archives," you sighed, leaning yourself back. "it’s hard to simply go there with both the conductor banning me as well as dan heng refusing to open his door."

"hmm…" jing yuan shifted his hand beneath his chin. "might i do something a bit uncouth?"

"uhh, okay."

"come here for a moment." he slid himself next to you, turning to face you a little more. with a slight frown, you turned towards him as well. "now, i can’t guarantee his reaction to this, but—" he suddenly pulled you closer toward him and placed his head in the crook of your neck—the same side dan heng had his. one hand snuck its way around your neck and held the base of your neck ever so gently, while the other looped around your back. you had to fight a shudder when you could feel jing yuan’s lips ghost over your neck and shoulder. "if i do this, it may be enough to knock him from this cycle of his."

"wh-what?" you strained out.

"he’ll be able to tell i’ve been with you. and by the places i’ve been in contact with you…" he said, voice low. his faint breaths were cool on your shoulder. you couldn’t suppress a slight shiver. "…it should be enough to grant you access to… the archives, was it?"

"y-yeah." you blinked a few times. your brain had been reduced to a single cell bouncing around inside your brain like a shitty maraca.

jing yuan finally pulled back, assuming his original pose. "please forgive me for that… but you’ll likely see why i did it." he still couldn’t help but wear his usual small grin for the second part. "i’d now recommend that you find him again, and try to keep his attention long enough for him to notice you were with me. vidyadhara’s senses of smell are perceptive, so it shouldn’t be long. well now, you’d best get back then." his stupid grin was even wider and even smugger. his gaze wasn’t condescending, but read more as if he were thinking just wait and see.

"i… guess i’ll be going then. th-thank you, general." you made an awkward bow as you hustled back the way you came, hyperaware of the air brushing against your shoulder. it all felt incredibly foreboding… but that was to be expected when you were about to enter the dragon’s den.

░░░░░░░

your plan was flawless:

1. jing yuan does his shit

2. go back to the express.

3. bait with bubble tea to get the door open.

4. "talk" to dan heng long enough until he notices jing yuan was up to something

5. ???

6. profit.

just as detailed, to further your chances of getting that door cracked open, you decided to buy a bubble tea. a classic milk should have sufficed, since he tended to favour the more simple things. the chances of him actually opening the door to take it were already slim, but desperate times called for desperate measures. knowing him, he’d simply make you leave it at the door, which was a problem. so there you were, stuck on an express couch, plotting. (or, perhaps more aptly, chewing your nails in nerves). as you sat there, in waddled pom-pom, looking mighty chuffed for some unknown reason.

"hm-hm-hm! dinner of pom-pom’s own creation will be ready in just over 20 minutes!" they declared, puffing their stuffed chest. they waited for any reaction, but no one looked up at them, making them deflate with a scowl. "stelle, (y/n) you go tell everyone," they grumbled, shuffling back into the passenger cart and beyond.

"wait, what?" you looked up—you hadn’t even noticed them.

"we’re on messenger duty," stelle said from her seat. she was placed upside down on the couch, hair grazing the ground while she played her usual gacha games.

"can i try and deal with dan heng?"

"i mean, sure." she looked over at you. "but what’re you plotting?"

"my entry into the archives. i come baring gifts." you motioned towards the untouched bubble tea sitting in front of you.

"i’ll leave you to it. i’ll go tell march and the others then." she chucked her phone elsewhere on the couch and got up, wandering towards the passenger car. you followed shortly behind, offering in hand.

it was a short walk. you knew you were being dramatic, but you couldn’t help but grow more and more nervous the closer you drew to the archives. you had already weathered so many rejections, so it’s not like this was going to somehow have a worse result. perhaps it was because you put too much on this. you’ve gone to a rather large effort just to have a slim chance of getting him to open the door—speaking of, you were already there.

you raised your hand to knock on it, but before you could even lay your hand on it, dan heng spoke from inside. "what is it, (y/n)?" he was once again somewhere further off in the room, speaking with undecipherable emotions.

"um." your voice cracked, making you cringe. "pom-pom said dinner’s ready in 20."

"ah. thank you," he said plainly. it still kinda stung, being back at what felt like the stage where you were only acquaintances.

"i also got you something." you tried to cast another line.

"you can leave it at the door."

you flopped your head against the door. of course he said it. "i’d rather give it to you now. it’s some bubble tea. the ice is melting." there was no response. you couldn’t tell what he was doing. "c’mon, it’s not like you’re sick or something."

"hah, more like lovesick," stelle called as she walked past behind you.

"stelle!" dan heng cried indignantly. he sounded closer to the door. "i am not—"

"if you’re not, then open the door." she simply kept walking.

you were stood with wide, unblinking eyes and an open mouth, watching her jacket pass through the cabin door until you were left alone in the hall. the door suddenly slid open a little. you jumped, turning to stare up at him. as usual, there was a strained look on his face that he was trying to suppress. "see, i’m not—" he looked out and around for stelle, but she was nowhere to be seen. instead, he simply sighed.

you tried to swallow your heart beating in your throat, but it still hammered away. "hi."

he closed his eyes, leaning his head on the inner door frame. "hello," his voice sounded tired. tired with himself. "please forgive me for how i’ve been acting. i know it’s not fair to you. it’s just…"

"i know, you need more time. you like to say it," you muttered with a slight, strained grin. "by the way, here’s your tea. it’s just your usual order." you held it out it to him, and he looked down at it with softened eyes. as he went to grab it, his fingertips brushed over yours. he seemed more startled than you, but after a moment’s hesitation, he placed his hand back over top of yours.

"i haven’t been completely honest with you," he said. (that was certainly one way of putting it).

you held your breath, as if making a single noise could suddenly startle him back into the archives.

"i… since that night, i haven’t known what to do with mysel—" he suddenly paused, frowning the tiniest bit. he leaned forward, seeming to concentrate on something with closed eyes. once they opened again, his pupils had constricted into slits, and he was staring intently at you. uh oh.

"wh-what is it?"

"where were you before this?" he took the tea from you and placed it somewhere next to the door frame inside the archives.

your stomach flipped. was this really going where you thought it was? "um. i was wandering around aurum alley." it wasn't a lie. "why?"

"that’s not all. what else?" he took you by the arm and drew you into the archives. it was an uncharacteristic mess in there. low-lit, and with clothes, books and items were strewn all over the place, perhaps as a reflection of his state. you watched the door close behind you, and when you looked back, there stood dan heng with his full vidyadhara look on display, right in front of you. uh oh.

he stepped closer to you until you could feel the warmth of his body radiating off of him, then grabbing hold of your shoulders. it was a tight grip, but not enough to hurt yet. he dipped his head into the crook of your neck and drew in a long but quiet inhale. "what were you doing with jing yuan?" his voice was low, almost with a slight growl. as he spoke, his arms had wound around shoulders, so he was holding the back of your head, just like jing yuan was. only far harsher than the other’s ghost-like touch.

yes, this was going the direction you thought it was. "we—we only met to talk about something," you sputtered out, your heart in your throat again.

"then why do i smell him on you, as if you were doing something more than just talking?" with a free hand, he took your jaw and turned your face towards him. he was only inches away from you, gazing at you with narrowed, dimly-glowing eyes. "why go to him when you have me?"��

you frowned, eyes wide. "huh? what do you mean i have you? you’ve refused to speak to me normally ever since the morning after you hauled me to your bed. besides, i-it’s not what you think."

but your words were lost on him. "no, this won’t do." his voice was barely a murmur. he seemed to be living in his own version of the world. dragon-brain was back, evidently a fuller force than ever. you weren’t sure what you were expecting, but it wasn’t him drawing you even closer, placing his head in the crook of your neck and nuzzling. your face lit like an inferno as some kind of noise escaped your lips. it was really back to the nuzzling. only with surprising fervour, this time. he nestled his face into your neck, exhaling small sighs against you. his nose and lips brushing against your skin was almost ticklish, but you weren’t laughing when his tail snaked itself around your hips, twining itself down one of your legs.

"d-dan heng?!" you cried when he suddenly lifted you with his hands clasped beneath the backs of your thighs, assisted by the tail. he had his mouth placed right over top of your collar bone, watching where he was going from over your shoulder. "dan heng, put me down!" you had to hold onto his back and shoulders for stability.

he gave you no reply, only taking you back to his mussed futon. similar to his bed at the inn, the blanket was strewn in a way akin to the base of a nest. stray pieces of clothing made up the rest of lack-lustre structure—you could have sworn one of your own old shirts you’d forgotten somewhere was poking out from beneath a different article. dan heng sat himself down in the centre of the futon and brought you into lap. your position was a bit awkward as you sat perpendicular across from him. both your legs went one direction while your torso was turned to face him. he sunk his head into the crook of your neck again, drawing in more, shorter inhales.

"seriously, wh—what are you doing?"

"he’s still on you." he said against your shoulder, warmth breath making you shiver. there was a slight growl in his throat again.

"even after that?" as you spoke, he tilted your head away, exposing more of your neck. "hey, w-wai—ah!" you made a cry of pain when a pair of fangs suddenly bit down into your shoulder. it wasn’t hard enough to draw much blood, but more than enough to hurt. you shuddered with some ungodly, almost harrowed noise when his tongue glided over what would blossom into a bruise. his arms and tail wound tighter around you, as if you might slip away at any second. he moved on, this time toward your jaw, peppering it with desperate kisses. you tried to say his name as he trailed down in between his own rapid-growing breaths. he was panting once he reached your shoulder, his kisses sloppy. in some work of miraculous dexterity, he had readjusted your seat on him until his waist was slotted between your legs. all the while, one hand was in your hair angling your head for his best reach, the other around your back. you had to hide your face in his hair when he had began making small vocalizations, something like tiny whines.

you said his name again, this time louder when he trailed his fangs back up your shoulder. right after he left a hot kiss on your shoulder, he bit down again. you seethed in pain, trying to push his head off, but you were only met with purrs. even though he didn’t seem fully aware of what was going on, those purrs had to be weaponized against you. he shifted to another part of your shoulder, mouthing another kiss on it, but before he could bite, you grabbed his horn.

"dan heng!" you yanked his head back, surprising him. but instead of some sort of pained cry, he let out a heady moan. to your surprise, that noise slipping from his mouth seemed to restore his lucidity in an instant. his dilated eyes shot wide open and his hands flew to cover his mouth, almost sending himself backwards in the process. his face burned with embarrassment, colouring his cheeks and pointed ears in a bright crimson. you huffed, but didn’t remove yourself from your position. in fact, you anchored yourself down by locking your ankles behind his back if he were to try and push you off.

"(y/n) to dan heng, can you hear me?" you said, almost tempted to knock on his forehead.

"i-it happened again," his voice was quiet in horror.

"hey, i need you to listen to me before you clam up on me again." you brought one hand to the side of his face, gently making him look up at you. he jumped at the contact, sending his hands further up his face until they were covering his eyes.

"please forgive me," he rushed out.

"look at me," you said softly, placing one hand on top of his to move it to the side—one of his faintly glowing eyes glanced at you. "i’m more happy to make out with you, but we need to talk first."

he made a strangled groan of embarrassment in answer, moving his hand back in place again.

"are you listening?"

he nodded.

"alright, the whole thing with jing yuan was me asking about you," you said. "i thought he might know a bit about you as a vidyadhara and your behaviour, so i went to ask what i could do to get you to let me into the archives. his idea was a less than tactful, but i guess it worked. that’s why ‘his scent was on me’, as you say. he only stuck his head on my shoulder for a bit because you’d be able to tell and then demand an explanation or something."

his fingers had parted to show his eyes again, and they were staring in bewilderment.

"so, i’m sorry for doing all that to you." your voice was soft. "i just wanted to see you."

"no, i should be apologizing. i have no control of myself and i haven’t been fair to you." he lowered his hands to hovering somewhere over his chest. "i was saying before… since that night, i have been an embarrassment. all i’ve wanted to do is steal you away and… smother you in affection until you returned it. the feeling was so intense that i didn’t trust myself around you, so i hid. i thought if i waited, it’d calm down, but it really only made it worse."

your heart swooned then and there, lighting a fire in your cheeks. "o-oh… so if i did return it, then you wouldn’t act like a lovesick ghost anymore?"

"hey." he frowned, but his face soon fell back into the same flustered expression from before. "but to answer you, maybe after a while. i could also just get worse… but i really don’t want to subject you anything you don’t want." while he couldn’t meet your gaze, he still leaned his head into the palm of your hand. with a sigh, you held his jaw and angled his face to look at you again.

"how many times do i have to say i don’t mind? you can’t seem to fit that one through that thick vidyadhara skull of yours." you did actually knock on his head this time, making him wince.

"i—i don’t know, i just get embarrassed." he hid face his face against your chest, face a shade redder and his ears drooping. "you also always look so shocked. i don’t want to do that to you."

"that’s only because you tend to forget any kind of warning," you said with a light laugh. "truly, i like it—when you give me warning, that is—because i really like you too, stupid."

his breath audibly hitched, and he raised his head back up. "t-too? but i’ve never said—"

"are you kidding? you don’t need to say it when the aeons and their grandmas know. even march says it’s obvious. you’re seriously worried about that after you’ve made out with my shoulder sloppy style? by the way, what was with the bites?"

"ngh, don’t word it like that." his tail that was still tangled around you thumped against your back indignantly. "…and the bites are a weird territorial thing. i’m sorry if they hurt." he leaned his head against you, running his thumb over one of the marks.

"dragons…" you sighed with a smile. "you’re lucky you’re so cute." you pet his hair, and he leaned into your touch.

he moved his chin so it was on your collarbone, looking up at you with softened eyes. there were almost stars of reverence in them when he gazed at you. "i love you."

"wait, wha—" you began, but he swallowed the rest of your words when his lips were upon yours. he pressed himself up against you, his hands gently holding the sides of your face. as he kissed you, there was a faint rumbling and vibration coming from his chest—he was purring.

he pulled back again, leaving you a little short of breath and a lot dazed. you’d always thought it’d be you that had to kiss him first, not the other way around. he began to leave another trail of kisses starting from your lips to your jaw, this time leading toward the other side he had already been. your hands fell from their place on him and inched onto his back while his lips were on your neck. one hand slipped into his back window, and he suddenly gasped. his back arched into you, almost knocking you over. he panicked, and his tail constricted behind you like another set of arms to catch you.

"what was that?" you laughed, trying to re-steady yourself.

"your hand was cold. i don’t know, i guess i have a sensitive back," he huffed. his ears were angled down and a flush was heavy on his face. you couldn’t really articulate what it was about him, but you were suddenly overcome with cuteness aggression. you leaned your weight onto him, sending him backwards onto the futon and—perhaps somewhat out of revenge—hovered yourself over top of his hips. he stared up at you with widened eyes and a held breath, frozen and waiting for your next move.

"you said i need to return your affection, didn’t you?"

he swallowed and nodded the tiniest bit.

"so let me have some fun too, my beloved." you placed a hand on his cheek.

"wait, you heard—i actually said that?" it almost looked like steam would start rising from the top of his head at any point.

"heard it loud and clear." you smiled to yourself, leaning down and managing to get your fingertips into his chest window—only for the door to slam wide open.

"hey, it’s dinner! what’re you two even doi—!" march called, leaning her hand on the doorway. you and dan heng leapt off each other, landing on the opposite sides of his futon. march stared in silence for a long while before lolling her head back. "jeez, finally! anyway, can you two wait until after dinner? pom-pom’s ‘bouta blow a gasket waiting for you two."

"w-we’ll be there in a minute," you said, trying to readjust your collar to try and hide dan heng’s bite marks.

"don’t be long!" march said as she strode back off down the hallway. a couple beats passed and you looked over at dan heng. by some miracle, he’d managed to swap himself back to his human look, but he still looked disheveled as he went to stand back up.

he held a hand out to you and pulled you up, pausing for a moment. he glanced at the bite marks on your shoulder that still peaked out, made some sort of strained sound and then removed his coat. "they don’t need to see that," he said as he strung it around your shoulders, fixing the collar so it hid the marks from sight.

"i’m wearing your coat. march saw us before. if she learns something, it’s guaranteed to be said," you deadpanned. "they’ll know."

instead of giving you a direct response, he took your hand in his and lead you out of the archives, looking at you with what was probably meant to be a neutral expression. his light flush and knitted eyebrows betrayed him though. "can we at least pretend we have dignity?"

"i mean, sure, but it’s not gonna do anything, looking the way we do. now c’mon, don’t wanna keep the conductor waiting." you walked off with him in tow.

he only made a small groan in response again.

#sorry for the random jerma joke at the beginning #it's a moral obligation for me #hsr x reader #hsr #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #dan heng #dan heng x reader #imbibitor lunae #imbibitor lunae x reader

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fckoffjakegyllenhaal · 2 months

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fallingforyou (1)

lottie x fem!reader enemies to lovers au <3

// lottie matthew’s does not like you. you’re annoying, preppy, and way too nice. lottie doesn’t fail to show you time after time just how much she hates you. you finally get the message and steer clear of her, until senior year, when you both get paired up for a science project. //

i’ll never make it right (if you don’t want me ‘round)

you don’t really know why lottie matthews hates you, but she does. she has since freshman year, and up until senior year, nothing changes. lottie isn’t known for being a mean person… in fact, she’s actually very nice. but for some reason, she just hates you. you don’t really know what you did, or why she treats you like you’re absolute garbage… but she does. you aren’t really the type to beg or try to make someone like you, especially someone popular and rich like charlotte isobel matthews.

you’ve never really been popular at all. your best friend is natalie mary scatorccio, and you’re mostly friends with the ‘nerds’ and ‘dorks’. you’re even friends with a few theater kids. everyone at school knows who you are, but you aren’t really interested in your social status. in fact, sometimes in lottie’s opinion it was almost like you didn’t care at all. you walked around so carefree and unapologetically yourself… lottie for some reason hated that. she hated that while she had to take her meds, and act like someone she’s not; you get to be whoever the hell you want.

today though, everyone around lottie matthews was feeling her wrath. it wasn’t unusual for lottie to be catty, or snappy when someone deserved it, but today it seemed as if the yellowjackets sweeper was angry at everyone and everything. you were steering clear of her since this morning and natalie noticed the way you had been avoiding her as well. it wasn’t unlike you to try and avoid lottie; she was unnecessarily mean and always had a sardonic response to whatever you had to say, but you never avoided natalie.

“jesus christ, what the fuck is wrong with you today, matthews?” mari asks in frustration after falling right on her ass. lottie had just knocked her out of the way in order to get the ball during practice. mari was currently glaring up at lottie from the grass she had landed on. “get your head in the game, and maybe this wouldn’t be a problem.” lottie responds in a way that everyone recognizes. she’s clearly in a mood and it causes the girls to exchange looks of uncertainty. coach scott blows his whistle as soon as mari stands up.

“alright, that’s enough practice for today. everyone get changed and go home.” he dismisses the girls who all sigh in a bit of relief. as everyone begins to get off the field, tai makes her way up to natalie; jackie not too far behind. “hey, what’s wrong with lot?” tai asks in a whisper, as they all rush into the locker room. “she’s just being an ass because ms. weinstein paired her up with y/n for a chemistry project.” natalie says, and mari groans. “what does that have to do with us??” the raven haired girl complains.

“why can’t she just ask ms. weinstein for a new partner?” jackie asks and natalie smirks, “y/n already tried. i think that’s why lottie’s pissed.” natalie states, and jackie throws her head back and lets out a laugh. “oh wow, that’s a new one. y/n wanting to switch partners? she’s gonna get lottie an easy ‘A’ and lottie’s being a di—“ jackie cuts herself off as soon as lottie begins to walk up to them; a scowl etched onto her face. “you assholes do realize that my locker is right on the other side of yours right? i can hear everything.” the taller girl points out.

you used to always try to talk to her. you’d smile at her, and compliment her outfits. yet she’d always scowl at you or have a clear expression of annoyance, and say something harsh. she noticed you stopped smiling at her in the middle of junior year. this year, you’ve barely even spared her a glance. lottie didn’t even think you realized you were both in ms. weinstein’s class together, but apparently you did. “you’re not the only person who’s unhappy about who you got paired up with. it’s just a few weeks. try not to be such a cunt about it.” natalie says seriously, and lottie rolls her eyes in response.

“i can’t help it if she’s insufferable.” the taller girl mumbles under her breath, causing mari to shake her head and make a face. “she’s insufferable?” mari asks sarcastically as she finishes getting dressed. “i think y/n is nice. she let me copy off all her notes in trig last month.” shauna shrugs as she brushes her in the mirror inside of her locker. “yeah, she remembered my dog had surgery during the summer and she brought me a bag of treats for him when the year started.” akilah pipes up, causing lottie to scoff.

“okay, so she remembered a few things you said, and she let you cheat off her work. who cares? she’s still annoying.” lottie states before swinging her duffle bag over her shoulder and walking out. natalie shakes her head, slamming her locker shut. “i swear if she so much as makes y/n shed a single tear, i’m kicking her ass.” natalie says in a tone so serious, nobody dares question it. though, most of the girls knew how sensitive you were; everyone did. it was only a matter of time before lottie actually did hurt your feelings.

the next day at school, you and lottie have yet to discuss anything about the project. you two haven’t even decided on a topic, and you’ve never been unprepared for a school assignment before. but right now, your pride was too important to you. you didn’t want to be the bigger person and cordially talk to lottie. you’ve tried that; you’ve done nothing but try and be polite or nice. yet all of your efforts have been rewarded with rude comments or bratty behavior. so you were done trying.

“okay i want you all to get into your pairs and talk about the project you should’ve gotten started on yesterday.” ms. weinstein announces, causing you to nearly sink into your chair. you can feel a pair of dark eyes on you, and you look over in lottie’s direction to see her already staring at you. as if she’s waiting for you to make the first move. you internally sigh, realizing that you’re probably going to have to be the bigger person again.

finally, you get up and hesitantly make your way over to the empty seat beside lottie. “hi.” you greet her a bit quietly, and she nods, “hey.” she retorts in a low, uncaring manner. you take a breath, “maybe we could do a study of saponification reactions. it’s just an option, i honestly don’t care what topic we do.” you admit and she nods, thankfully not saying anything rude yet. “we can do that. i don’t care either.” her voice is curt and the answers are short. you nod slowly as you open your notebook to the next blank page, and label it.

lottie notices you use a blue color pen to label it, and then a black one to take actual notes with. you have a whole bunch of colored pens in different colors for your notes, and how prim and proper your writing was seemed to irk her too. then her eyes seem to dance up to your face; the way your brows creased together in slight concentration. your hair was a bit frizzy during this time of day because school was almost over, and lottie could smell your overwhelmingly girly perfume. it smells like vanilla.

“did you want to work on this at your place or mine?” you wonder out loud, the pen never leaving the paper. “yours.” lottie answers way too quickly, but thankfully you don’t say anything about it. you nod, “okay. here’s my address and the number to my landline in my room.” you say as you turn to a new page, and write your phone number and home address down. you tear the page out when your done, and hand it to lottie who says nothing as she takes it.

lottie pauses for a moment, thinking about how much she hates her house. she wonders if maybe you hate yours too. “we could work in the library if you don’t want to work at your place.” the noirette actually sounds considerate as she says this, and you look surprised for just a second, before offering this shy smile that she hadn’t seen directed at her for nearly a year and half now. “it’s okay! i don’t mind working at my place. my little sister practices the violin after school sometimes… but she’ll be quiet if i ask.” you assure her and lottie only nods in response.

“anything else you wanna warn me about?” she inquires a bit sarcastically, and you nod. “my older sister is kind of a bitch.” you say bluntly, taking lottie by surprise. she’s never once heard you curse. at all. you can’t help but laugh lightly at her reaction, “she’s not that bad though…” you trail off before the bell rings, and you immediately start putting your things into your backpack. “wait, when did you wanna start?” lottie questions, and you shrug. “whenever your free after school just come over.” you assure her and she furrows her brows as she stands up.

“but your debate club—” she starts and you cut her off, “i quit last month. i’ll see you later!” you rush out of the room before lottie can say another word. she huffs; this was going to be a horrid few weeks.

#lottie matthews #lottie matthews x fem reader #lottie matthews x reader #lottie x reader #yellowjackets #lottie x fem reader angst #lottie matthews x fem reader angst #enemies to lovers #lottie matthews x you #lottie mathews x reader #lottie matthews x y/n

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 month

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AITA - me and my bestfriend (bsf) of six years recently got into a 2 week long argument and at this point have stopped talking. First i need to provide some back ground of the situation. Last November i became friends with “J”. This itself caused some arguments because they have similar names and sometimes i’d slip and call bsf, J, on accident and would immediately apologize. After a couple times of this happening she got really upset but i explained i’d been doing the same to J and she seemed to be less upset about it.

In the beginning of January, J and her bestfriend “E” got into some pretty serious drama where information from both sides never matched up but i’d known and used to be friends with E for a while. He is not a great guy speaking from past experience. (he constantly talks about how he’s a narcissist very proudly) He was claiming they had slept together and was telling all of his friends about it. She was saying they hadn’t. These rumors had been going around for months about them but had died down until this. the problem is i believed J but bsf was close with E and sided with him. I’d like to make a note through this entire situation neither me or bsf played any roll in it to my knowledge. this was just between E and J. Later on i found out they had slept together from J and asked why she had said they hadnt she said it was an agreement between the two of them that they wouldn’t say anything to anyone else because of the rumors people were already spreading about them being together. But once she found out it was definitely him telling people this time she told me the truth. yeah they had slept together then he forced her to take a plan B even though he knew she was on birth control and they’d used a condom. then ghosted her and pretended not to know her when asked by Js twins sisters best-friend.

Now it’s about 3 weeks ago where i posted two separate story’s saying how much i loved J and her sister and the other about how much i love bsf. about 10 minutes later bsf texted me “just delete this.” i of course asked why but she never responded so i took it down like she asked. later that day she reply’s to a text i had sent her the day before saying “nothing much just wishing i was hanging out with you” she replied “right.” at this point i’m genuinely confused what’s happening i had a feeling it was about J somehow because every time i posted about J it would be the one thing she didn’t like or comment on and she would get annoyed when i’d mention some thing me and J had done recently. i immediately replied with “of course, i love hanging out with you. your my best friend” A couple hours later she send me a three paragraph message saying how she didn’t think that anymore because i was ignoring everything she was telling me about what E was saying. That i was only taking J’s side and always talking about what J was saying about her side. She said I was using her as a separate option that if J couldn’t hang out i would call her. etc at the end of the message she told me she would never make me choose but that she will never trust anything J says. (they’ve literally never met or talked the only thing she hears about J is through E or me) she ends it with do whatever you want to do but don’t do anything for me. keep being friends with her idk i’m keeping my distance from all that. I replied with a message basically saying that she wasn’t the second option, i wasn’t sure who to trust, and that i try to avoid talking about the situation with J. we go back and forth with her apologizing for how she’s acting then getting mad about me not just believing her over everything else i’m being told. Then she tried to claim she never said J was wrong but that she knows she’s lied to me (the thing i mentioned in the first paragraph is the only time she’s lied to me) that she never picked a side and that she can’t believe how hurt she feels when “i’m supposed to be her bestfriend” i brought up the fact that i had asked her more than once if me being friends with her bothered her and she always said no. That this wouldn’t have exploded like this if we could have talked it out before. she took that as me saying this was all her fault.

A couple days later she messages me asking to talk in person i say when and where but she just send me a message about her feelings anyways again apologizing for how she’s acting and that she felt i wasn’t listening to her but it hurt more to lose me etc but continuing to say she doesn’t think i should be friends with J but it’s my choice. I reply i was listening but i think we were both just trying to find the facts in a situation we will never really know who was lying 100%. but i made a point in the massage to say i wasn’t going to stop being friends with J and that i didn’t understand why me and bsf relationship was so affected by me and J’s. She gets mad again bringing up a hate account that was made claiming J had made it but J had shown me that she hadn’t and it was investigated by our school who also said she didn’t do it. that it was my choice to be friends with her but that i don’t understand how it’s affecting her and that it wasn’t fair. at this point i was really mad because it really felt like she was trying to force me to choose between them two in a way. i replied saying she hadn’t made the account and said i don’t think J is the reason we stopped talking and that i feel like she was making me choose even though she was saying she wasn’t. she then replied saying she didn’t make me choose but that i had chose J over her and “that i guess you though she needed more attention” (yeah maybe because J is not mentally handling this well at all and your fine because your not actually involved with this drama) i didn’t reply to her but about another week later i texted her “i just want to be friends with both of you. why can’t i do that” she replied i understand but i don’t think you should be friends with she’s not a good person but hope your having fun it’s all i wanted for you. that’s the end of the messages at this point.

TLDR : (do we do those here??) bestfriend of three years stopped talking to me because i became friends with another girl who later got into drama with best friends close friend E (A PROUDLY SELF PROCLAIMED NARCISSIST I MIGHT ADD)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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obsessedelusional · 1 year

Text

opposite

paring ✦ Bella Ramsey x Reader

summary ✦ It’s hard to move on when your ex is a famous actor. As a even more famous singer your bound to see each other. What happens when Bella allegedly starts dating their costar? Who looks entirely the opposite of you.

word count ✦ 3,700ish

authors note ✦ I saw Sabrina Carpenter live and this song has been stuck in my head so it inspired this. Also the most recent request I got had the sweetest not ever just about cried reading it. Just wanted to let who ever sent that know I appreciate you so much. Almost to 900 omg thank uuuuuuuuuu

masterlist

FEEDBACK AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!!

⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹

Your ex partner, Bella Ramsey, had finally found the success they always wanted. Which only made the break up harder, seeing their stupidly handsome face everywhere.

You were an even more successful singer, your rise to fame began when you stared in a popular children’s show. As you aged and left the show you began posting covers online. Eventually sharing snippets of your original work, one went mega viral changing the trajectory of your life. Releasing the song began your music journey and you hadn’t acted since.

It all started when the director of a movie Bella would be staring in approached you to write a song that would be featured in the movie, you were ecstatic. You were invited to the premiere where you were introduced to Bella. Your attraction to them was instantaneous.

Unfortunately you didn’t get to see them again that night. When you arrive home that night you throw on your comfiest clothes. Laying in bed you waste no time cyber stalking Bella. Doesn’t take you much time to find their instagram. You smile seeing the follow back button. You click it before sending a simple message about how you enjoyed the film. Truth be told you weren’t paying much attention to it. It takes a couple hours but Bella responds thanking you. This conversation sparked many more before finally inviting Bella over. A handful more of casual dates lead to you two making it official.

Your relationship with Bella was extremely private entirely on their part. You wanted the world to know but they weren’t ready. So you never pushed the issue figuring Bella would be ready eventually. Six months later and they weren’t ready, starting the downfall of the relationship.

Missing opportunities because Bella wanted you with them. A big event would be nearing and suddenly Bella desperately needed you in England. Only for you to arrive and Bella be distracted. One time you arrived and Bella never responded to your messages. You were in their home town for a whole 24 hours before they got back to you. They came out with some bullshit excuse.

Making you feel like shit for going to events while they were in town. Leading to arguments because they were always invited. Sometimes you couldn’t help but feel like they were jealous of the fact that you were on a whole different plane of fame than them. Or maybe they felt inadequate. Bella shut down at every conversation about the relationship so you never understood the underlying issues.

It all came to an end when you had planned a trip to Paris for the two of you, somewhere you had always dreamt of visiting. They were well aware of this fact, telling you that one day they’d take you.

Bella would be done filming their most recent project around the time you’d be on a two week break from tour. You wanted nothing more than to spend it with Bella. Things had started to go stale, hoping this would help things to be like when you first started dating. When you arrive to Nottingham you surprise them expecting them to be as excited as you.

“I don’t want to go.” Bella responds flatly, reading over the card you worked hard on. The plane tickets slipped inside.

“Why not?” You ask, irritation heavy on your voice.

“Because I’ve been there before so many times. Plus we can’t go anywhere without paps following you around. Surprised you made it here without being followed.” They set the card down, walking away from you.

“Would it be so bad if people knew we were dating?” You respond, Bella just looks at you unable to talk.

“I don’t understand. Every single time I try to do anything besides sit in your apartment for weeks on end you shut it down. I’m always traveling to see you. Not once have you come to LA when it wasn’t part of your job.” You speak, voice shaking. Not sure if your about to start crying or yelling. Maybe both?

“You know I don’t like LA.” Bella says only responding to part of what your just said.

“I don’t like being a secret but I do it because it’s what you want. We do things we don’t like for the people we love.” The mention of love sends tears running down your cheeks.

“Whatever.” Bella huffs pulling their phone out. Every time you tried to discuss anything uncomfortable Bella always shut down, typical.

“Fuck this.” You spit out wiping away at the tears, reaching for the card. Pulling the tickets out of the envelope and taking one. Tossing the other ticket at Bella, their face fills with confusion as they pick it up from the floor.

“I’m going to Paris with or without you. Our hotel information is in the card. You know where to find me if you want to continue whatever the fuck this is cause I’m done.” Bella doesn’t plead or try to stop you like part of you wish they had.

When your out in the hallway of their apartment complex that’s when the real waterworks start. Between tears you shoot a text to your personal body guard that had dropped you off requesting a pickup.

Your sat outside crying just long enough for some one to sneak a video of you. Posting it to twitter that day going viral, most people wondering why you were so upset. The greater half of the internet turning into a meme. So that for the rest of your existence you’d be reminded of the day your relationship with Bella ended.

A couple days later your were in Paris all by your lonesome self. You decided after two days of moping in the hotel room it was time to get your shit together. Taking a long hot shower washing the breakup off your body and out of your hair. Hadn’t heard anything from Bella which was probably for the best.

You take your time to do your make up. Spending even more time on picking an outfit out. This would be your first time making an public appearance since the video. Your manager pressing you to post something about it. When your done your body guard is waiting for you in the car outside. They drive you to the Eiffel Tower.

Your in awe as they park, the tower perfectly in your view. Your quick out of the car your body guard hurrying to catch up. Your late start to the day puts a pip in your step. Momentarily you forget about everything doing the stereotypical tourist things. Taking pictures of the tower and then photos of your self with the tower. Enlisting the help of your body guard to get better photos, laughing at their attempt.

When you finally get your phone back you scroll through the photos smiling. Until you hear your name softly, looking up your greeted by a young girl.

“Hi,” you smile. They start talking about how much they love you and your music. You thank them pulling them in for a hug, the fan not realizing how much you needed that hug.

“I know it’s none of my business but I hope whatever had you so upset in that video has been resolved or something. I just hope your feeling better, I guess that’s what I’m trying to say.” They laugh at their own words, you smile thanking them again. You ask them if they’d like a picture, your body guard snaps a few for the fan.

“Thank you,” the fan says before going to leave.

“No thank you, I appreciate you.” You respond.

—

It doesn’t take long before a small crowd of people forms wanting your attention. You talk to each one, taking photos with everyone. Thirty minutes have passed and the suns starting to set. You say you goodbyes before following the body guard to the car. In the car you scroll through all the photos you took tonight. Favoriting a few, deleting the rest and editing your favorites.

Once in the hotel room you decide it’s time to make a post. You post several photos in one post, doing a photo dump of your adventures from the last few days. The first photo you in front of the Eiffel Tower, the second a shot of the tower by itself. The third photo you crying in your hotel room, a snap chat you had sent your friend. Deciding to attach a screenshot of the video that went viral or you sobbing outside of Bella’s apartment. Ending it with an off guard photo of you laughing.

caption: if you’re going to be sad you might as well be sad in paris

—

3 Months Later

Bella’s most recent tv show has been doing so well that the entire world was tuning in every Sunday night. Expect you of course, you refused for your own well-being. It’s hard to avoid her though at this point everyone’s talking about the show. Your feed flooded constantly with posts about the show.

Clips of the Bella and their love interest had been blowing up all over TikTok flooding your for you page. Causing you to fall down a rabbit hole every time which only made their videos appear more often. The only good thing to come out of this was you spent less time on your phone.

Tour has come to an end, it was amazing but you were ready to relax. Your recent breakup was inspiring many songs, the next album coming along easily. Your visiting your parents in your home town, staying in the room you grew up in. Not much has changed since you left years ago. To your dismay your younger sibling was obsessed with Bella’s new show, begging you to watch it with them. Constantly bringing it up in conversation.

“I’m surprised you haven’t seen it. The show has girl on girl action in it.” They casually say at the kitchen table.

“Don’t refer to it as that.” You roll your eyes.

“Whatever. You’d love it. We should binge the show today and then we can watch the new episode tomorrow.” They suggest.

“I’m good.”

“That Bella girl is in it. Remember she starred in that Amazon movie you made a song for?”

“Yeah I remember.” You respond, ready for this conversation to end.

“I ship her character and her costar, Cleo. They’re so cute. I think they’re dating in real life.”

“Why do you think that?” Suddenly interested in the conversation.

“They’re always together all over social media. They look pretty much in love.” You reach for your phone pulling it out, opening instagram. Typing Bella’s at into the search bar, clicking on their profile once it pops up. Photos of Cleo filling Bella’s feed.

“There’s no fucking way.” You groan aloud, seeing the photo of the two of them hugging in front of the Eiffel Tower. The place you had begged Bella to take you to before the breakup. They refused to because they didn’t want anyone to know you were dating. Or maybe it cause they didn’t want Cleo to know? They were filming this show the entirety of your relationship with Bella.

“What?” Your sibling questions.

“Nothing.” You mutter, leaving them sat alone at the kitchen table. Straight to your bedroom you head. You find Bella’s new “friends” Instagram, taking note of the follow back button. Scrolling just far enough to find a post with your lyrics as a caption. Bella was still keeping you as a secret. You could feel your self getting angrier by the second. You had cried so much over this entire situation now only anger left.

Then noticing all the differences between you and her. Opposite colored hair and eyes. Body entirely different, looks nothing like you. Apparently Bella had a type and obviously wasn’t you. Why does Bella look so happy in this photos? Why could they be happy with you?

It all starts to click Bella was holding out for the opposite. Most likely dragging you along until they found what they actually wanted, Cleo. Even if you never left Bella that day your relationship would of never worked out, you weren’t Bella’s type. They’ve at most been dating for three months and Bella was ready to be public in Paris of all places.

That night you stay up super late. Your brain heavily inspired by the news shoved in your face this morning. After several hours you have a shell of a song deciding to title it Opposite.

♫ Oh, so you do have a type? And it's not me.

Oh, so you can reply? Just to not me.

So y'all are in Paris now? Guess it's public. ♫

—

Some time has passed since you finished writing Opposite. Normally releasing a song took months but you stressed the importance of this being done. So a week later it was upload to all steaming platforms. Within the first day it is clear it’s on its way to becoming a massive hit. You phone is flooded with compliments on the song.

The smallest part of you wondering if Bella’s heard it. Curiosity gets the better part of you, pulling up Cleo’s instagram on your secret account. Clicking her story where it shows a screenshot of your song with the caption, “Can’t stop listening to this.” You can’t help but smile thinking about Bella being forced to listen to this over and over again.

—

Weeks have passed since you released Opposite. It went number one on the second day and hasn’t left since. Your next gig is an awards show, you’ve been busy practicing. Adding Opposite into the mix among the other songs you’ll be performing.

“You think your ready for tonight?” Your agent asks.

“Yeah.” You respond, you had just finished the last rehearsal for tonight. Getting approval from the award shows reps. The show started in three hours.

“Time to get you to hair and makeup.” You nodded following your agent to your backstage room. Your name posted on the door.

Once inside your greeted by the girls who regularly did your makeup and hair. They spend a solid two hours working on you. You rush getting dressed in the red carpet dress. Just as they’re applying the finishing touches your agent comes into room notifying you that it’s time to walk the carpet.

Your walked out of the back of the building, ushered into a car. The car drives around to the entrance where everyone arrives to walk the carpet. As soon as you step out the crowd starts screaming for you. Camera flashes nearly blinding you as you walk out. Your agent is close behind guiding you through the carpet, instructing you where to stand and how long. Before you stop to do interviews you take pictures with some of the fans lined up outside.

The first two interviews you do are entirely harmless. Asking you questions about your music and if there’s a possible album on the way. You thank them when it comes to an end, quickly moving on to the next.

“You look so good tonight.” The next interviewer says.

“Aww thanks, you too!”

“Thank you. We’re really loving your new single! Is there an album in the works?”

“Perhaps.” You smile sheepishly.

“We can’t wait. You were recently turned in to a meme..” You physically cringe at the reminder.

“You we’re crying and a few months later Opposite was released. Are the two incidents related?”

“Yeah actually they are.” You laugh.

“We’ll I’m sorry you had to go through that but Opposite is a bop. That many can relate to, including me. So thank you and I can’t wait to listen to whatever you put out next.”

“Thank you. Thank you for saying that. You’re so sweet.” You say before saying your goodbyes. You move onto the next interview. Your busy answering their questions when you notice a familiar face a few spots down, it’s Bella. Cleo following closely behind. You rush through the last half of the interview, finding your agent letting them know your done.

They lead you inside where your sat at a table, where’d you be sitting until your performance. You read the name plates breathing a sigh of relief when Bella’s name isn’t on one. Your sat with other young female artists sitting fairly close to the stage. As the table starts to fill you create small talk with the girls.

You can’t help but notice Bella and Cleo enter. Cleo’s scanning the room her eyes light up when she sees you. She starts heading towards you. You turn your back to them muttering a silent fuck praying that she’s going literally anywhere else. Your prayers aren’t answered because you hear the sound of your name leaving her mouth.

“Hi.” You smile at Cleo. Bella stayed back watching the two of you intently. Probably terrified because if the math is mathin Bella was dating both of you at the same time. You could expose them in a heartbeat.

“Oh my god. I can’t believe it’s actually you. I love you so much. You’re music is everything to me. Like you have no clue.” Cleo gushes over you.

“Thank you. You’re too sweet.” Cleo asks for a photo so you agree standing up. She pulls you into a hug, any bad feelings towards her fade away. Realizing Bella’s the asshole in the situation. You pose for a quick selfie with her.

“Thank you so so so much.” Cleo pulls you into one last hug before running back to Bella. You can’t help but feel bad for her as she fangirls to Bella. Bella and Cleo sit a few tables down.

—

Your currently under the stage listening to the women who’s announcing your performance. You weren’t all that nervous until you realized Bella would be in the audience. The stage floor opens and your platform begins to rise, it’s time to go.

You start with a mashup of your most popular songs. Singing short snippets of each, moving on to the next. Hitting every note and dancing along with the back up dancers. Everything is going smoothly. Just as planned. The crowd cheers you on and most sing along. The lights go out briefly just quick enough for an outfit change. When the lights shoot back on your at the front of the stage, hands holding onto the microphone stand. The music for opposite stars, spotlight on you.

As the words spill out you can’t help but look to Bella. They look uncomfortable sat there, doing everything in their control not to look at you. As you continue signing Cleo looks happy signing with you, unaware of Bella.

♫ “She looks nothing like me. So why do you look so happy? Now I think I get the cause of it. You were holding out to find the opposite. Said I'm beautiful Was I being lied to?” ♫

You finish the rest of the song not once looking back to Bella. Too hard to look at the person who caused you so much pain. Once your done the audience erupts into applause. The host comes out greeting you.

“Damn girl that was amazing but that song is so so sad. Are you okay?” The laugh.

“I’m great actually. This is probably the coolest moment of my career.”

“Your on fire. I’d hate to be the one who hurt you.” They tease.

“Their loss.” You shrug your shoulders.

“Absolutely. Thank you for that amazing performance.” You thank the host before exiting the stage.

—

You busy changing into your final outfit of the night. A more casual dress that you can wear the rest of the night. A soft knock at the door has you looking up from the shoes your busy trying to shove on. Your entire team in near so you have no idea who it could possibly be.

“Can someone get that?” A few moments later Bella is stood there in the doorway.

“It’s Bella Ramsey.” Your assistant says. They don’t know any better because no one knows about your past with them.

“Can you give us a moment?” Your team nods leaving the room. Bella finally enters the room, keeping their distance. Wary of you might do next.

“What do you want? I don’t have much time before I have to go back out.”

“I wasn’t lying.”

“What?” You ask, confused.

“When I said your beautiful.” A laugh leaves your mouth, finding Bella’s cheesiness stupid. Bella’s phone vibrates.

“Thank I guess. Are we done?” Bella is busy looking at their phone so you ask.

“No I want to apologize-“

“Whatever you’re gonna say. Don’t.”

“Please just listen.” They plead, moving closer.

“I made a huge mistake. I should of taken you to Paris. I was a shit partner. You-” Bella rambles so you interrupt them once again.

“Don’t do this. It isn’t fair to Cleo.”

“You don’t understand the whole picture.” Bella responds their phone vibrating again.

“Seems important. You should take it and leave.”

“Not until you hear what I have to say.” They respond. You only cross your arms across your chest waiting for them to speak.

“I’ll be honest I was scared to go public with you because I knew no one would care about me and my acting. I’d always just be Y/N’s girlfriend. That’s it.”

“Doesn’t matter anyways your with Cleo.” You respond.

“Right before the last time you came to see me. Right before we wrapped up filming the director and a handful of PR pulled us into the office. Insisting that Cleo and I should pretend to date. Get more people to tune in.”

“I don’t believe that for a second.”

“It’s true. Said that fans shipped us heavily. They vaguely indirected that if we didn’t our characters might not see the next season. I was so distraught on what to do and then you came and broke it off. I took it as a sign on what to do.” Bella further explains, phone buzzing again.

“We are suppose to present an award any minute hence the persistent phone calls. I was told to announce our relationship on air tonight. I miss you so fucking much. I can’t do it knowing there’s even a slight chance you’ll forgive me.”

“This is all too much.” Is all you can manage to say letting your arms falls to your side.

“You don’t have to make your mind up right now. Just tell me not to go out there and announce it and I won’t.” You look over Bella their filled with panic.

“Don’t do it.” You whisper barely audible. Bella’s panic turns into joy. Smiling ear to ear before leaving you alone in your dressing room.

⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⊹

thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed! If you did, please consider reblogging or leaving feedback. its all greatly appreciated and helpful!!

#bella ramsey #bella ramsey x reader #bella ramsey tlou #bella ramsey imagine #bella ramsey edit #bella ramsey fluff #bella ramsey oneshot #bella ramsey angst #bella ramsey x you

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three--rings · 1 year

Text

okay so i’m gonna talk about the build thing.

I’m not going to get into the whole thing and what I think tho. Like, I have a lot of thoughts. But the thing is that I don’t KNOW anything. I don’t know these people. I can’t speak to them in any way.

We have literally ZERO facts. There is not a single fact that we, the public, have received that has any evidence behind it. We have a bunch of one-sided claims and... some messages? And some faked photo “evidence” from pinterest.

We don’t have any basis for making a judgement on anything solid whatsoever. The only people who can do that are first of all police and legal proceedings, which I very much doubt are going to actually come to pass, and if they did would take absolutely forever to shuffle out.

And secondly BOC as an employer. Which is where we can expect some kind of eventual decision, whatever it may be.

But what has truly upset me since this broke, besides just the natural grief of the situation, is the fandom response. It’s been truly horrendous.

The reaction which I expect from a fandom to this kind of news is shock, upset, grief, confusion, bargaining, etc. And support of each other as we wait for the full fallout.

Instead I’ve seen celebration, I-told-you-so’s, endless attacks on people who refuse to immediately renounce their support of build, or who are at all measured or hesitant in their response. Calls to reject not only the actor but the ship, the fandom, the production company. Comparisons to other actors to highlight how their fave could never. Finger pointing in every possible direction.

In other words, the fandom eating itself alive. And is it maybe a small minority of people being toxic and most people being silent? Yeah, it always is. But it’s so fucking painful to me and to the fandom as a whole.

Callout culture has reached a point where when anything happens the only performatively pure action to take is to immediately and loudly cut yourself off publicly from anyone at all likely to be tainted in accusation. Which is exactly why people with bad motives can use accusations to inflict harm on people they want to hurt.

I’ve seen over and over people being angry and upset that things aren’t moving faster with this situation, that there hasn’t been more statements and official shit done and like, it’s been less than two days? On a weekend? Do you really want the official procedures of ANY employer to work so fast that someone is fired within hours of anyone saying something bad about them, because that’s what people are literally calling for.

I know it sounds like I’m taking one side here, but honestly I’m not. No I don’t want the accusations to be true, because NO ONE should want them to be true. But I can’t speak to their truth at all, because I have no basis to do so. Except that what has been produced so far has been show NOT to be true (the photographs). But there’s plenty of toxicity to go around in this situation.

What I want is for the actual truth to be known and acted on appropriately. That doesn’t need to involve dragging facts out onto twitter or into the public eye, either. The fandom isn’t judge and jury. Victims shouldn’t be paraded through the virtual town square to be ripped apart.

People are mourning right now. What I’m mourning is the loss of a fandom that wasn’t as divisive and at each other’s throats as my last two. Where I could just go to enjoy stuff without constant infighting. Well, guess that’s fucking over.

People are reliving their own abuse. I know I am.

STOP ATTACKING FELLOW FANS. STOP ATTACKING PEOPLE MOURNING.

How individual fans respond to this isn’t any of your fucking business. People are allowed to wait to see what happens before making judgments. People are allowed time and space to process. Shut the fuck up already.

#yeah that's it fuckit #build jakapan #boc #tw: abuse #sorry I forgot that tw it's been a few days

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idontplaytrack · 17 days

Text

Pick Up The Phone

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem!reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, coarse language, descriptions of anxiety & disordered eating behaviour. Reader discretion is advised.

In which reader hasn’t respond to Janis’ texts in a day and Janis tries to call her multiple times but to no avail.

Please excuse the lack of formatting / separation of paragraphs😩 enjoy this drabble!

The day Janis found out or rather, realised, what you’ve been dealing with, you would’ve thought that she would dump you if you didn’t know her any better. She began noticing a pattern emerge about half a year into the relationship- on weekdays, you’d claim to wake up at 6:30. And have breakfast by 7:00. Now, if you were even just a minute later, you wouldn’t have anything to eat until they let out for lunch at 12:30. On weekends however, Janis picked up that you’d essentially been eating one meal a day sometimes and trying to convince her that you’d already eaten. Little by little, more and more of your behaviour unveiled it to her- your meals shrunk in size on certain days, but other days, it was ‘normal’. You’d act as if you didn’t just restrict yourself the day before. It was like pendulum, either one way or the other. Also little by little, Janis’ worry grew. She was thinking about how to talk to you about it. But she was rendered clueless despite how straightforward she always was.

The only way she had realised was because of how much time she’d spent with you to know your routine by heart. Once she’s got a hang of it, it began to seem clear to her that your relationship with food was not so good.

Janis was no stranger to self-loathing- so she knew whatever this was, it was a terrible thing, and detrimental to both your physical and mental wellbeing. She thought that you were the most beautiful person she’s ever laid her eyes on, and Janis always tells you that. But she also knows that your mind wouldn’t let you take her word for it. She’s had some moments like these of her own.

“y/n, pick up your phone.” She left you a message. Message number five.

You haven’t been online since after school yesterday- after some guy at school made a comment about how you were ‘spilling out of your shirt’ and how you were going to be ‘ripping your pants’. Janis immediately gave those guys a piece of their mind, but there was no turning back for you- those comments made you feel like crap, way worse than you’ve already been feeling after some stupid remarks from your Mom the night before about similar things.

Janis just knew it in her heart that you wouldn’t be picking up her calls anytime soon, so after school, she went over to your place. No one answered the door but she lets herself in, knowing where the spare key was hidden. She heads up the stairs to your room, and there you were. Thank God. Thank fucking god you didn’t just leave your phone at home so that it would show your location as that.

“Babe.” She knocks on the door and you got startled.

“Shit, why are you here?”

“I told you never to do that- I get that you’d want some time alone, and some space. But always, always tell me. You can’t just not respond to anything I’ve sent you and expect me not to worry one bit.

“Okay, leave me alone.” You shrugged, not even looking at her.

“It’s too late for that now.” Janis almost scoffed, but held back, “I know you haven’t eaten all day. So we’re gonna make sure you eat something.”

“I don’t need to.” You tell her.

“Yes, you do.” She sits down in front of you and grabbed your hands, “Look at me.” You refused to, so she repeated herself. Reluctantly, you turned your head to look at her. “Have you not been hearing the same things I do? I don’t need to be eating.”

“No one should be denied food- not when they haven’t eaten anything. We all need some food to survive too, and right now, I know for a fact you haven’t eaten.”

“Believe me…I’ve tried my best to let them just run their mouths, but I can’t fight them and the voice in my head forever. As hard as I try, they always win. I always fall and can’t-”

Part of her was a little angry, but she soon shook off that feeling and listened to you- putting herself in your shoes.

“I’ve been dealing with this for as long as I can remember. It’s hard, Janis. So fucking-”

She engulfs you in a hug, rubbing your back. That’s what you needed, instead of having someone raise their voice at you- you knew Janis meant well, but unfortunately, your parents? Not so much, they both only spurred on your disordered eating, saying that it’d be great for you to lose weight. So, well- your brain has somehow been conditioned to listen to their negativity over the years. That’s always how it’s been like for you- that’s all you knew. But when Janis found out, she didn’t get mad at you, she was patient and wanted to know more about how she could help you. She’d opened your eyes to how things were supposed to be like when you were struggling. You’ve spent years shoving it way down, or channeling your focus on the wrong things that have been harming your mind and body. The effects have become apparent- Karen mentioned how much weight you seemed to have lost last week and that triggered an anger in Janis that she didn’t know she even had. But of course, Karen did not mean it in a bad way. She never really does mean anything she say in a negative way. Also, no one knew about what you were going through other than Janis. So there’s that.

It took Janis a lot of coaxing to get you to eat something. But first thing’s first, was what to eat. “We can cook it together, alright?”

You nodded in agreement, leaning against the kitchen island as she stood before you. “How does some pasta sound?” She suggested, “We could do a broccoli and cheese sauce, add some ham for protein?”

Yeah, Janis has learnt a thing or two. Including the fact that it tends to help you be more okay with eating if you two prepared the meal together and ate together. Or for her to just keep you company while you ate. You were quiet for a little bit to think about that and any other options. You agreed to her suggestion.

“Alright, attagirl. Let’s get cooking.” Janis smooches you on the cheek. She grabs a pot, filled it with water and a pinch of salt before letting it come to a boil, “What kind of pasta do you want, baby?”

“Um, the bowtie ones.” You decided. She grabs that particular bag off the pantry shelf and handed it to you. You poured some out into a bowl then put the snack clip back to keep the bag closed. “Okay, that’s good.”

Once the food was all done, you and Janis sat on the floor, at the coffee table in the living room to eat. “I know that sauce came from a can, but it’s really good.”

“I know.” Janis chuckles, “Might need to convince my Mom to switch over to this brand now.”

You smiled a little bit, “Jan, thank you for being so patient with me. I really appreciate that, even though sometimes when things get bad, I lash out. I want you to know that I don’t mean that. And please don’t hesitate to snap me out of that, or yell at me.”

“Babe, yelling at you is not the way to go. I’m never gonna do that when you’re having a bad day especially.” Janis told you.

“I’m just saying, if the time comes when you need to yell at me for anything else. Please just yell at me and tell me to wake the hell up.”

“No promises.” Janis shrugged, “I love you too much to be raising my voice at you, baby.”

You gave her a full smile this time, “I love you so much, Janis. You make me so fucking happy. The most happy I’ve ever been.”

“I love you more, baby.” Janis brushes her thumb over your knuckles, “I’m always gonna be here for you. Call me or text me, show up to my house whenever you wish to. Okay? No matter how busy I am, I’ll always make time for you. I’ll always pick up my phone for you.”

“I’ll make sure to tell you if I sense things getting bad again because I know you’ve been trying to help, and I am so thankful.” You promised.

Janis nodded, a smile now plastered on her face as if reflexively, “Thank you for trusting me and loving me for who I am.”

#auli’i cravalho #janis ‘imi’ike #janis ‘imi’ike x fem reader #x reader #female reader #reader insert #queer #lgbtqia #lesbian #fanfiction #oneshot #angst #mature themes #reader discretion advised #drabble

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beaker1636 · 3 months

Text

M is For Martymachlia - Justin

AN: Here we go, back on track with the alphabet game! So basically martymachlia is a king of being watched, so that is their task at hand. I actually really enjoyed this one so I hope you do too! Again I did this on my phone so some formatting issues may happen, mostly it doesn’t always indent where it’s supposed to which drives me nuts 😫 once I can use my laptop and edit it I will! Enjoy!

“I fucking hate all of you,” Ryan sends in the group message that Chris very wonderfully made to share a video of the Lapdance that he had to give last night. He is nowhere near any of them but finds himself flushing at some of the comments they made in the video.

“No you don’t, and thank you for the laughs. I definitely needed it this morning,” Ricky responds, making Ryan want to throw his phone across the room.

“The real question is what did Ariana think? Did she enjoy it and take advantage of things after you left?” Vinny asks, praying that she just laughed about it because that would be funny to think about.

“Hey Vin, have you gotten laid since your fucking mom caught the two of you?” Ryan responds, knowing he is being a dick but that it’ll get him to shut the fuck up.

“No, no I have not, not that you need to know that. But non like you assholes we don’t have to do shit all the time when we are home… anyways, what is Justin up to?” Vinny responds, trying not to have to remember that memory.

“Yes, and because you have all pissed me off I am being a dick so I wish you luck sir. Have you ever heard of Martymachlia?”

“Uh no?” Justin sends, immediately wondering what the fuck Ryan was up to now.

“It is the kink of having someone watch during the act, kind of like exhibitionism. So you can do whatever the fuck you want but one of us has to be watching it,” Ryan responds, feeling smut at the thought, having a feeling that Vanessa wouldn’t agree.

“Do we get to pick who watches? Or does it have to be you?” Justin responds quickly. “Because if we get to choose it shouldn’t be too bad. I already know who she’d probably agree to watch.”

“It can be whoever I guess, but we have to know who and they must confirm,” Ryan responds.

“Sounds great.”

“Hey Vanny, I think I already know but our task is that we have to do it with someone watching, so who would you be most comfortable with watching?” Justin yells at you from across the room.

“I- I mean I guess it would be Chris because he walked in that one time but I still think it is going to be fucking akward. Do they actually have to be here because I don’t think I can handle that….” you trail off, now suddenly nervous at the thought of what is going to happen, that someone is going to be watching.

“I asked, I was told that it could be just like a video chat feed that we leave going and that they can mute themselves so we don’t hear them. So truthfully it should be easy to get into the mindset that we are alone… even if we aren’t. And we both know that you used to have a big thing for Chris before we even met so it’s not like you’ve never thought of him seeing you or anything.” Justin teases, moving closer to you where you are standing at the stove, working on making dinner, his hands resting on your hips.

“Ugh, please don’t. That was a long time ago, I don’t see him like that anymore and you know it. I mean, I don’t want to lose again. We can try but I can’t promise that I will be able to shut my mind off.” You answer, feeling defeated as you let out a sigh.

“You can say that you think he is attractive, I am not that jealous of a guy. I can accept the fact that you do,” he teases, kissing your cheek with a smirk. “I’ll let them know, when you’re done cooking you should put on something pretty for our viewer.”

“It is going to be an automatic no if you keep this shit up,” you grumble, continuing to cook dinner with a sigh. You are not looking forward to this.

For whatever reason he convinced you of that, and now you are sitting in the room in his favorite lingerie set, watching him set his phone up so that the view was what it needed to be while you completely ignore the fact you can hear him talking to Chris, asking him if the view was fine… and hearing Chris compliment how you look at the same time. Just knowing that he is watching you right now is making you very uncomfortable, wanting to shrink inside of yourself. You never have been very insecure but you are at this moment.

“Don’t over think this Van, he isn’t even here right now. Just focus on me,” he urges you softly, his lips ghosting over your ear before settling on yours. Softly coaxing you into the act, knowing that if he makes you get out of your head that you will enjoy this more.

“I, I can’t,” you mumble against his own lips as he settles over you, laying your back against the mattress as he slowly tries to coax you into the moment. He can feel as your body slowly relaxes as he continues to barely kiss you, his hands ghosting at your sides. Not wanting to push you too much as you first begin.

“That’s it, lose yourself in me baby,” he goads, his lips moving to settle just under your ear before trailing slightly lower and settling on a spot against your neck. One that he knows is sensitive and will hopefully let you relax into him, into this.

He pulls away after he hears you lightly groan, knowing that he finally has gotten you enough that you are relaxed, that you are wanting this more and more now. His lips meeting your own briefly before his tongue still tries to meet your own, glad when you allow him in and when he feels your arms wrap around him, trying to press him into you more and more as he does the same. Pushing his half hard erection against your core, wanting you to feel what you are doing to him right now.

It worked for a moment but then you heard Chris move through the phone and find yourself turning to look at it, Justin notices and pulls you back in or tries to.

“No, stay with me baby, not him,” he reminds you, kissing you again as his hand slides down your torso, lightly toying with the hem of your panties before stopping. Waiting for any indication that you were alright with him moving forward, smiling when you finally nod. Telling him to go ahead with what he wants to do. He quickly slips his shirt off before settling back into where he was, slowly slipping his hand into your panties to lightly stoke against your folds.

“Shit, for someone who is acting so shy you sure are wet. Part of you is enjoying him watching this aren’t you?” He teases, a finger circling your clit before pulling back with a smirk when you whimper slightly.

He knows better than to push you too hard and pulls his hand back, changing his mind and deciding to instead focus on what he knows will really get you in the zone. One of his hands reaching behind your back to lightly unclasp your bra, praying that you are in it enough that you won’t stop him now.

You don’t but you do move to try and cover yourself with your arms when he goes to remove it, him aware that you are unconsciously aware of it still, that you are slightly uncomfortable with this.

“Shh, let him see how beautiful you are, that I can almost make you come undone just from playing with your beautiful chest baby,” he slowly coaxes you to move your arms, to let him find one of your nipples with his fingers as he lightly tweaks it, making it hard under his touch. “That’s it,” he hums with an approving nod.

He then dips down, taking the other one between his lips as he lightly swirls his tongue around it, feeling it harden as he sucks and nips at it, enjoying when he hears you moan slightly, giving in to the pleasure he is bringing you. Finally letting yourself enjoy the moment as he teases you.

When he pulls his lips away he looks up at you, pleased to see that you are watching him closely, anticipating his next move. He slips his hand back down, deciding that you have had enough teasing and deserved a reward. Sliding your panties down your legs he moves to slowly slip two of his fingers inside of you, wanting to tease you. Get you worked up enough that you want more from him, beg him to let you finish while his friend watches.

He finds that this is honestly turning him on more than he expected, knowing that his friend was watching him unravel you, that he is able to make you fall apart just like he can do to his girlfriend.

You whine, bucking your hips up towards him, urging him to do more, to actually give in and give you what you want, no need right now. When he doesn’t you whine, making him meet your eyes with a slight smirk on his face.

“You want more? Want me to make you fall apart while Chris watches? Show him how pretty you are when you cum for me?” He asks, noticing how your eyes move back to the phone where it sets for a moment before you look back at him and give a slight nod, not wanting to say it yourself out loud.

“No, use your words. Tell me, fuck tell him that you want him to see,” he groans, now circling your clit with his thumb, but it isn’t quite enough for you.

“Please Justin, please let me cum,” you ask softly, the best you could muster and he somehow knows this. He gives in and rather harshly thrusts his fingers back inside of you knuckle deep before pulling back and doing it again… and again.

Repeating the action until you are withering on the mattress underneath him, clenching around his fingers and letting him know that you are close. He adds his thumb and starts to circle your clit again, slowly applying more pressure to bring you right to that edge. Watching you closely as you benign to come closer and closer.

“Let go for us baby,” he groans, wanting you to give in. And when you do with a moan, your back arching off the mattress he can’t help but give a satisfied smirk, feeling like he just proved himself in a way making you give in to him despite the fact that you had started so unsure of this.

He slips his boxers off while you slightly come down from the high of the orgasm he just gave you, stroking himself a few times before settling over you, slowly sliding inside of you as you both let out a slight groan. You automatically wrapping your legs around his waist in an effort to pull him in, keep him close to you when he begins thrusting inside of you, slowly at first before getting rougher in his movements.

“Fuck, Justin,” you whimper, relishing in the feeling of him pounding inside of you, bringing you back towards the edge that you were already at. Choosing to roll your hips up to meet his, making you throw your head back from the feeling, him smirking when he realizes where you were going with this, that you made him hit that spot inside of you that always gets you going.

He makes sure he hits it each thrust while bringing a hand between the two of you, starting to play with your clit again, wanting you to cum one more time before he does, and he is definitely getting close. When you begin to clench around him, he increases the pressure on your clit, thrusts slightly harder so that you can’t help it, cumming around him with a moan that he swears is the most erotic thing that he has ever heard before in his life. Causing him to finally let go himself, cumming in thick ropes as he finally hits his own high.

Letting himself calm down some before he leans down and gives you a kiss, gentle as he does. Making sure to tell you that you did great, that he loves you. He can tell that you need that reassurance of everything right now, that you are vulnerable at the moment as reality of what you just did hit you.

He slowly slides out, helping you up so that you can go to the bathroom to clean yourself up while he walks over to his phone so he can end the call… wait, that’s weird. The call said it ended 20 minutes ago, so Chris didn’t really see anything. What the fuck does that mean for the results of this?

He notices that he has a text from the other man so he pulls it up.

“Sorry man, I just couldn’t watch this between the two of you. I stopped it pretty much right away, but I won’t let everyone fail you because it wasn’t your fault.”

When you walk back out you notice that Justin looks confused as he looks at his phone, you wrap your arms around him and place a light kiss on his chest, knowing that if you don’t ask him that he will tell you what is wrong in a second.

“He left right away before we did anything, he didn’t actually watch us,” Justin says, moving to wrap one of his arms around you with a smile.

“Oh thank fucking god,” you murmur before moving to slip into your pajamas, ready for bed. Relieved that you don’t have to actually face Chris again knowing that he and Mia watched the two of you, you had hoped that this would happen and luckily it did.

If you technically lost you really don’t care, you are just glad that it was the case.

#the alphabet game #justin morrow x reader #Justin morrow x reader smut #Justin morrow smut #Justin morrow fic #Justin morrow fanfic #justin morrow fanfiction #motionless in white fanfiction #fanfiction #bree sucks at fanfiction

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nikofortuna · 9 months

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JTTW Chapter 5 Thoughts

Caught up to Chapter Five for the @journeythroughjourneytothewest Reading Group!

While Heaven was mostly at fault for the trouble in the last chapter, this time around it is Sun Wukong who messes up plentiful.

But for the time being he’s making friends again! This time travelling around in Heaven!

Related to this I firmly believe they made a mistake assigning him to look after the Garden of Immortal Peaches not just for the obvious reason. He takes his job very seriously much like the previous one and that is kind of presenting as an issue here. He doesn’t socialize as much anymore.

As for the obvious reason this was a clear mistake on Heaven’s part, they put someone, who is very much still a monkey at the end of the day, in charge of delicious fruits. What were they expecting would happen? Him not eating any? Now that was just plain foolish.

There is a much better and somewhat obvious job he could have done instead. Delivering messages, something that has been mentioned by the Daoist disciples in chapter two and that he pretended to do in his scheme towards the Barefoot Immortal. His cloud is faster than most as a matter of fact, something the Gold Star definitely knows. This way he’d also socialize more and would have a change of scenery regularly, so it would be far less likely for him to get bored, which was their concern to begin with.

About the peach trees themselves, those taking thousands of years to ripen, so they mean Earth years or Heaven years? I’d say Earth years as I asked how years are counted in Heaven before and the common consensus was that they are almost always counted in Earth years. So it still takes quite a while for them to grow, but not nearly as long if you live in Heaven as well.

I don’t quite understand why Sun Wukong immobilized the Seven-Gown Immortal Maidens. They didn’t object to staying in the garden for a little while longer until he gets back. In fact he didn’t even give them a chance to respond at all.

At this point I would like to mention what are arguably my favourite designs for the Immortal Maidens, which are from the movie My Son Goku by Tezuka Productions. Though they are missing the White-Gown Maiden, the lady to the very right in the first screenshot being the Lady Queen Mother herself.

Also this perfect screenshot I got by chance.

Since before starting this journey of reading the book only having seen various movies, I used to be under the impression that Sun Wukong took from the Festival of Immortal Peaches, because he was upset that he wasn’t invited. But nope, that is not the case actually! It was simply because he couldn’t restrain himself. Silly monkey, that particular string of trouble he got into was on him and him alone.

He does believe he was not invited, but that is something he only mentioned after the fact, so I’m inclined to believe in the moment he arrived at the banquet without actually knowing if he was invited or not he acted purely on impulse. Back at Huaguoshan he excused his behaviour assuming he wasn’t invited, which he never actually found out for certain.

When the other Demon Kings got captures during the siege of Huaguoshan, I’d like to think Sun Wukong talking about them not being monkeys and thus not really their concern towards his four commanders was more him telling himself that in an effort to cope.

Before, he did already display some troublesome behaviour towards the Dragon King who tried to accommodate him as best as he could. In the last chapter he didn’t necessarily overreact when leaving Heaven for the first time given what we know, and otherwise behaved rather well. However this chapter he stepped out of line in ways that were not okay without proper reason and is dragging his friends and family into it as well. One might have noticed by now that I’m a rather avid Great Sage defender, but I can’t defend actions that are without excuse.

#xiyouji #journey to the west #jttw #my son goku #osamu tezuka #sun wukong #monkey king #immortal peaches #jttw reading group #jttw book club

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skzhua · 1 year

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friends without desire | part 24 - i rather see you.

MASTERLIST

pairing: ex-boyfriend!han jisung x dance student!reader, brother!hwang hyunjin x sister!reader

genre: social media!AU, college!AU, exes to friends, exes to lovers.

warnings: none for now.

summary: where minho being a dumbass led to meeting him again.

“You’re stealing my girl again.” Hyunjin pouted at you while you tried to focus on your moves.

“You’re distracting me.” you responded, walking to your phone to replay the song.

“I’m finally with someone and you make her cancel her plans for you.” he continued to whine.

You let out a loud groan and glared at the man. Clearly, you wouldn’t be able to work on your choreography if he kept acting like a child. Giving up, you stopped the music.

“She made the plans, I didn’t suggest anything. And your girl? From what I’ve heard, you didn’t even talk about labels with her.”

“Neither did you with Jisung and he still claims you.”

“Nah, that’s bullshit.” you shook your head. “He’s having a fun date tonight, he’ll soon realize I haven’t been 'his girl' since we broke up.”

It was Hyunjin’s turn to groan in frustration. He knew for a fact his friend wanted nothing else than date his sister. However, both parties kept on making up excuses to avoid actually getting together.

“So you guys kiss, then you tell him you want to take your time, he agrees and supposedly goes on a date in the same two weeks he confessed?” You nodded at his words and he could only roll his eyes. “You’re so dumb.”

With that, he gathered his things and left the studio, leaving you alone. Well, alone with a sleeping Felix in the corner of the room. You decided you were also tired, so you started to pack your things back in your bag.

“Why did you help him for tonight if you didn’t want him to go?”

You jumped at the sound and turned around to see Felix, wide awake. “Lix! Don’t scare me like this!” you exclaimed and he laughed.

“No, seriously. You could have told him, no?”

“Seohyun and Minho already gave me this speech, I don’t need more of this.” you whined.

“Noted.” He held his hands up. “You’re going back home already?”

“Yeah, I need to clean up a bit before Seohyun comes. With the dog and all, the place is a mess.”

“I thought it was Jisung’s week to keep him.”

“I have my ways to convince him to keep him longer.”

He laughed and you waved him goodbye as you left the studio.

As for Jisung, he looked at himself in the mirror and frowned at the sight. Of course, he thought he looked good, but he didn’t feel good about it at all. If there would be a reason for him to dress up, it should be for you. At this moment, Changbin walked in his room and looked at the younger man in surprise.

“Uh, I never thought I’d get the chance to see you like this any time soon.” he laughed.

“Yeah, last time I was in a suit, it was prom.” he chuckled slightly. “I don’t know if I should really go, honestly.”

“I know. We all told you our opinion, but you do you. And it seemed important for you to go.”

“I don’t know. Things changed after the bubble tea thing. Then, she tries to change our work cause it won’t be appealing to the public?”

“Yeah, I can’t say I like her.”

“Yeah...” Jisung’s phone lit up and he quickly read the message. “Talking about her, I have to go. She’s waiting for me.”

“Alright, have fun! Don’t do anything stupid.”

“I won’t.”

With that, Jisung sprung out of the dorm, barely having time to say bye to Changbin.

As soon as she got out of the car, Ryung squealed at the sight before her eyes, much to Jisung’s ears' dislike. She greeted him, complimenting his look, and took a few steps back to let Jisung admire her dress. She did look good, but the vibe was not it. And to be honest, Jisung could not care less about the way she looked.

“We’re gonna be the highlight of the night! I think we look great.” she excitedly clapped her hands. “We should take a picture, don’t you think?”

“Sure.” He shrugged his shoulders.

As soon as the words left his mouth, Jisung was dragged inside the building by the arm and Ryung brought him to a corner where people could take pictures. She didn’t hesitate to push him onto the chair and sit next to him. Very close to him. She wrapped her arm around him and signaled to a staff member to take a picture. Even though Jisung could not feel more uncomfortable, he smiled through the pain. Her grip was so firm, it genuinely hurt him.

Once a few shots were taken, she walked to the staff member to check the photos. She seemed satisfied enough and gestured at Jisung to come see.

“We look good together! I like this one.” She pointed.

Once again, Jisung answered a small “I guess” with no sign of enthusiasm. He heard her say something, but he was not listening. Instead, his focus was on the grand room. So many foreign faces, some familiar, there was a lot of people. Han was never good with crowds, even less in this kind of context. He only knew the people from the company, and even then, he wasn’t friends with anyone. He was sweating in nervousness and he didn’t feel good at all. Anyone with eyes could notice easily how his pale face expressed pure panic and vulnerability.

“I’m going to the bathroom real quick. Can you go get us some drinks while I’m gone, please?” Ryung said, not looking up from her phone.

“Actually, I-” Jisung started, but Ryung was already walking away.

Catching a glimpse of the screen of her phone, his eyes widened. If she wanted to post a picture of them, she could have asked at least, no? Now, he was really questioning the reasons why he came here. His phone lit up at the notification he got tagged in a picture.

Almost immediately after, he received a message from Hyunjin. The universe must have listened to his thoughts and sent him his friend to save him from this rather unpleasant situation. Reading the text, he sighed now knowing probably all of his friends saw Ryung’s post. What made him even more worried was your name displayed on his phone. If anything, he definitely didn’t want to make you feel bad. Not thinking twice, he left the building and ran to the nearest bus stop.

He didn’t bother to knock, he pulled out the key from his pocket and was quick to open the door. As soon as his eyes laid on you, his state of panic was gone. You, on the other hand, were so confused. Stopping your actions at the sight of Jisung standing in front of you, your mouth was full of popcorn as the movie Seohyun picked kept playing in the background. To say you thought he looked breathtaking was an understatement. However, this was the same man you saw all touchy with another girl on your phone barely thirty minutes beforehand. You chewed the popcorn left in your mouth quickly and approached Jisung carefully.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at the event with.. her?” you asked, ignoring Seohyun who was questioning the poor guy on why he was here.

“I rather see you.”

You huffed at his blunt statement. “Right.”

“I’m serious. I don’t know why I didn’t cancel on her. Heck, I didn’t even want to go to start with.”

“Why did you still go then? You did seem excited when we went shopping for the suit.”

“I don’t know, I didn’t want to be that kind of person who lets people down. And I was excited because I was with you. You were there with me, suggesting me outfits instead of calling me handsome every two minutes; you laughed at my bad jokes; you didn’t tell me to eat quieter; you took my ideas into consideration; you made sure I drank enough water throughout the day; you left the restaurant earlier because you noticed I didn’t like how cramped and crowded it was.”

“Why do I feel like this is not just about the other day at the mall.” you laughed a bit, a bit overwhelmed at his words.

“Because it's not.” he took a step closer before taking your hand. “I was sincere when I told you I want to give us another shot.”

“Alright.” you simply answered.

“Okay...” he said, a bit startled by your plain answer. “ What I’m saying is I want to be your boyfriend.” he precised, thinking you might not have heard clearly the first time.

“Yeah, I know. I said alright.”

At this point, even Seohyun -who was watching the scene from afar with popcorn- didn’t understand.

“So, we’re together?” Jisung pondered.

“Yeah. Now drop the act of romantic shit, it was very nice but it doesn’t suit you. It makes me cringe, actually.” you made a face of disgust before walking to your kitchen.

Jisung followed behind, not believing what he was hearing. “Just like that? I thought you were mad at me for the whole Ryung story.”

“I knew you weren’t interested, you literally confessed to me not so long ago. I was annoyed, that’s all. You look uncomfortable on the pic, she posted it probably without asking you and even if you didn’t come here, I would have figured your night was horrible.” you listed before opening another bag of popcorn. “Want some?”

At this moment, Jisung was smiling so hard, his cheeks literally hurt. He ignored your question and didn’t waste another second to kiss you. You smiled in the kiss and brought him closer by hugging his waist.

“I should have known you’re not the jealous type.” he said once you broke the kiss.

“Never was. I still have one last essay to submit before Christmas break. You’re down for a study date tomorrow?”

He nodded happily and kissed your lips again.

“This, right here, was cute.” Seohyun exclaimed, her phone in her hands as she captured the moment.

taglist: @mchslut

#stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids han #han jisung #han jisung x reader #stray kids social media au #han jisung social media au

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