#the human vacuum cleaner

[coolthingsguyslike]

#Brooks Robinson #Baltimore Orioles #baseball #third baseman #the human vacuum cleaner #RIP

[jacksintention]

I'm thinking again on the fact that so often comments, criticism and readings on Jack dwell a lot on how he is barely human/a person/doesn't have a personality at the point of the story and, while I somewhat understand these points, I find them so lacking. I find them... ableist? I'm always doubtful to use the word here because I'm not sure if it's applied in this kind (mental health) of context, but something like that. And I find them extremely simplistic.

However, honestly, a big part of the reason for these readings being so popular is that the manga itself words it that way. But that's one of the problems I find in the manga. When I say P.andora Hear.ts is very good but unfortunately it is very manga-like at times, besides the 2000s homojokes and the like, I'm usually thinking about things like this. I feel like often characters and situations that are (potentially) very intricate instead of getting insightful deep overviews often get screwed by the writing itself, which falls into very manga tropes a lot in a bad way (not that every manga has to fall into them, or that every manga trope has to be bad or written badly).

I don't know... For instance, I'd argue R.askolnikov's capacity for love in Cr.ime and Punishmen.t is debatable, but it's never treated as if it made him less of a person, a human being or made him not have a personality. I'd say not even Svidrigailo.v, who is as much a Bad Guy™ as a character can be, gets that treatment by the writing. I'd say that even him or Mikol.ka are written as fully fleshed human beings with their intricate internal lives and feelings. Svidrig.ailov's last scene with D.unya is fascinating for both characters and spins the whole dynamic and makes you question the entire narrative and veracity of not only those two characters, but brings to mind several other conversations among different characters and throws light (and doubt!) on the main plot between R.askolnikov and Porf.iry.

In similar situations, Jack's humanity, personhood and personality are debated, doubted and even full on accepted as vanished. No one reads Crim.e and Punishmen.t and comes to the same conclusions about Raskolni.kov, Svidrig.ailov, Sony.a or Razu.mikhin. The writing doesn't allow it. The writing doesn't allow you to forget that humanity is diverse and multifaceted, that it can be sad and cruel and loving and monstrous, even all at the same time, or that a person may struggle with feeling at all; and one is still a person.

#This honestly is one of the things if not The Thing that frustrates me the most of P.H #I've seen this kind of 'that's not a person/human/doesn't have a personality anymore' readings with The S.tranger by Camu.s #And they were imo also simplistic (and that's coming from someone who didn't like the book) #They were also made by my Ethics professor in college who was from the O.pus De.i #Anyway this is a post because I imagined I wouldn't be able to fit everything in the tags #I should probably delete this later #but I wanted to get it out of my system first. I've been thinking about this a lot again after reading the guides and I got angry again #I don't think manga as a medium necessarily has to treat characters this way #but there's often a big simplification of characters in general in a particular flavour #And I think Jack (arguably Vincent too) suffers from this. The exact same thing happening with Jack could be written slightly differently #and cease to have that shonen manga for edgy teens flavour it gets in like two pages #that doesn't ruin but definitely stains a 104 chapters characterisation that was so well crafted #(especially given most fans take everything at face value without thinking much about anything like vacuum cleaners of text) #I don't know. Despite how this manga is a lot about humanity being able to exist or take place #beyond the conditions of one's existence being “fake” through our actions and relationships with others‚ ourselves and the world‚ #I don't like how characters like Jack are treated in that context #I understand why it's done and what it's trying to say‚ the Jack/O.z foil is super interesting in that regard. I don't even think #the writing fully falls into the mistake of 'thinking' Jack is not human/a person. But I find very unfortunate some of the writing choices #when dwelling on this‚ and even so distasteful at times #And as a consequence many fans just take the slippery slope and make a cardboard mimicry out of some great characters #But the manga/writing concedes a bit with that angsty teen air. And it's frustrating #I talk too much #Trying to pseudocensor words for the first time #to see if this way my 4am soliloquies won't appear in the tags of people just living their lives #Tumblr please let me rant about nothingness that interests only me without disturbing anyone please #I'm already mad I can't tag these at all anymore in my own blog for organisational reasons without them appearing for everyone everywhere

[celepeace]

Coffee is good but coffee grinders should be considered excessively cruel weapons of audio torment. They should be banned under the geneva convention

#coffee grinders and vacuum cleaners are perhaps humanity's worst inventions #someone turns on the coffee grinder in my vicinity and i start shaking screaming crying

[bopinion]

Could someone please tell me...

...why human evolution apparently stopped?

...why there is often not enough time to be on time?

...why I always have trouble falling asleep when I have to get up especially early?

...why I only notice after supermarket closing time that the dishwasher tablets and vacuum cleaner bags have run out?

...why there is more good weather on weekdays than on weekends?

...why no one has taken on the task of doing an inventory of the basement for me?

...why shirts do not iron themselves?

...why one notices his increasing age especially in the morning?

...where my son has misplaced his key?

...why there are more questions than answers?

#thoughts #aperçu #funny #please #evolution #humanity #being on time #not enough time #falling asleep #getting up #supermarket #dishwasher #vacuum cleaner #good weather #weekdays #weekend #inventory #ironing #increasing age #misplacing #questions #answers #tell me

[countess-of-edessa]

i dont feel the need to feed everyone who comes over to my house. like if we're just hanging out i'll always offer tea or water (thats all i ever have lol) but unless ive invited someone over for lunch or dinner or something like that, theres no reason for us to eat because its not a mealtime. thats not weird to me. but why would you have someone at your house while you are eating a meal? its the being comfortable with eating in front of people who are not getting food that is super weird to me. why wouldnt you just wait until your friend goes home to eat?

#i enjoy dunking on the Swedes too but some of you are getting annoyingly sanctimonious about how everyone who crosses your threshold simply #must be offered food like yes yes you’re so special and so hospitable sure thing #i plan my meals around my social visits so if I know I’m going to someone's house I’ll eat before or after so as not to be hungry #because im like. a human being responsible for keeping myself fed and not a vacuum cleaner lol #but if i ever did get a snack for myself while someone else was around i would obviously offer them some or something else and not just eat #in front of them without offering any which is extremely rude

[prokopetz]

#media #tropes #polls #body horror #violence mention #death mention

[lonelymoongirl]

"i'm probably way smarter than you" boy you completely lack emotional intelligence and have no comprehension of even the most basic psychology so i really doubt that but sure whatever makes you feel better

#i hate when people don't comprehend stuff like disorders mental illness and behavior #and how like i can be aware of a behavior that comes from my disorder and still be unable to do anything about it #and i'm allowed to complain (to MYSELF and not AT other people) about other people behaving the same way i do #yes im avoidant....... i know i am #im still allowed to cry when someone im in love with avoids me #even if i do the same to others #and maybeeee if you didn't ignore 90% of the things i say #or TELL me im stupid #i would wanna talk to you but i dont wanna talk to you #anyway like i know it serves no purpose to get upset about it #he's attached to me (again i have no idea why because like im not even attractive #plus when im like displaying loyal devoted dog thoughts is for him i love because he has earned me being a dog for him 😃) #ok im yapping again i know he doesnt even use his brain because he's just not even thinking rationally #it's just annoying because i wanna exist in peace on tumblr im not even special or interesting leave me alone 😭😭😭😭 #i think im just also irritated that he doesnt seem to understand #that im in love with the man im in love with because he treats me with respect and makes me feel warm and fuzzy and good #and all he does is make me feel stupid bc he doesnt even listen to me or care about what i say plus he calls me dumb #im prettyyyy sure most ppl i talk with have similar thoughts but idc until they tell me about it lol #like have whatever thoughts you have about me as long as you're nice to me and it's cool #why is he angry that i dont want to be with him when he treats me like trash lol #there's not even any point in wondering i know. he's entitled and angry and it's like he's just mad at his vacuum cleaner for not wanting to #suck up all the dirt 💀 #so ig im answering my own question.. he doesnt see it that we bc he doesnt think of me as a human being #only a vessel to do what he wants and when i dont wanna he gets mad #he can be mad just let me post whatever i want on my blog goddammit 😔

[shwoo]

I'm really not happy with how much I've been needing to sleep lately, but I must have really needed it this time, because what were those dreams.

I don't remember specifics, but I do remember interesting facts like that an eagle is a hawk that's exactly north of the speaker. Or true north, as the characters in my dream kept saying.

Then the scene switched to the characters travelling in a fancy airship that I think was inside the balloon somehow, which was also a fancy shape, and while in flight, north was down. Whenever it turned, different walls became the floor. Why would an airship need to turn that much? I didn't think of that at the time, so it was never explained.

My subconscious came up with this whole alternate society that puts heavy emphasis on the concept of north. Wish I could do that when I was awake. Or even remember what I came up with while asleep.

I don't know what was up with the villainous character who calmed her dogs by drugging them with gas from the vacuum cleaner though. Why would I make that bit up.

#dreams #I want to go to fancy gravity changing airship balloon #I don't think they even had anything to keep people from falling when gravity changed #The vacuum cleaner thing I think is too ludicrous to really qualify as animal abuse but it was meant to be that in my dream #Wait why did it affect the dogs but not the humans in that scene

[j4gm]

SPOILERS!!! REFERENCES AND EASTER EGGS IN F&C ep. 1: FIONNA CAMPBELL

Here's a bunch of stuff I spotted. Feel free to add more.

During the anime girl hero dream Fionna mentions Hans Brinker, a character from a novel which introduced speed skating to the United States.

The BMO style alarm clock has BMO's voice.

The ducks that steal Marshall Lee's money look like one-headed versions of the two-headed duck from the original Adventure Time title sequence.

Cheers is a real sitcom. Simon previously sang its theme song in the episode Simon & Marcy, and now it seems to have manifested in the human AU due to his connection with it.

Fionna says "stop acting crazy" to Cake with the same meter as Marceline said "stop acting crazy" to Ice King in the episode I Remember You.

We all spotted this in the trailer but there's a Magic Man hat in this shot. Magic Man's hat was most recently seen being worn by Betty.

The Betty statue also suggests that Simon's psyche has significant influence over this world. The fountain includes frogs, a symbol of change that was previously also used in Temple of Mars. And Fionna mentions the statue underwent renovation twelve years ago, which is the same amount of time that's passed in the prime universe since Betty's amalgamation with GOLB.

It would seem Mrs. Abadeer runs a vacuum cleaner company as well as being Fionna's landlady. And Queenie runs an accounting business as well as the tour bus.

The stickers on Marshall Lee's guitar case are all references to real life punk rock bands. X-Ray Pex = X-Ray Spex, Daikini Kill = Bikini Kill, PM might be a reference to AM as in the Arctic Monkeys. I'm not sure what Las Crudas and Dark Eyes are references to. Perhaps someone more familiar with punk rock can let me know?

In case you were wondering, the credits confirm that this is human genderswapped Fern. It's a bit more obvious now that we can see all her green clothes and backpack, and given what she said about her dreams being super messed up. I'm not gonna go through the rest of the cameo characters in this episode because most of them are pretty obvious or already got figured out when the trailer dropped. That said, if anyone knows who the bus driver is meant to be please let me know.

The sword in the window of this games shop looks very similar to Fionna's sword from the original comic series.

The latte that Gumball - ahem I mean Gary - makes in this scene features PB's swan.

Okay one more cameo mention because I feel like it might become significant later. This is Ice Queen.

Fionna and Cake are dreaming about their apartment block in the credits of this episode, but it has a roof like the Tree Fort and the same little boat with a telescope and parasol.

Episode 2 to follow!

#adventure time #fionna and cake #easter egg posts

[foone]

Idea: knight who protects his princess with all the energy of one of those little shaking dogs trying to "protect" the kid from the vacuum cleaner. The royal family didn't even hire him, he just saw a royal in danger and he was too hopped up on stories of how Knights must Protect The Royals that he insisted he protect the young princess traveling alone, there's bandits about!

And the final bit he doesn't know about: the royal family comes from a long and powerful line... Not because of the divine right of kings or ruling a country or anything silly like that, but because they're shape-shifting dragons.

This little knight in hand-me-down armor fresh out of apprenticing just swore to protect a 400-year-old dragon that could raze his entire town in seconds, but since she was looking like a 20-year-old human when he met her, he doesn't know yet.

And she finds it way too cute to tell him. At least, not yet. He's so proud of "protecting" her, look, if he had a tail it would be wagging! Maybe her parents will let her keep this new pet when they get back to the castle?

#my writing

[sanjisprincesswifey]

valentine's day

summary: spending valentine's day with the monster trio

notes: sanji, zoro, & luffy x implied female reader (separately), pure fluff

black leg sanji

sanji may know your favorite flower or candy, but he remains a teddy bear, roses, and box of chocolates kind of guy 

for sanji, it’s the idea that you deserve love in its purest form; that all he wants to give you is the love people see in movies or read in books

it’s about the sentiment; he could give you your favorite flowers or candy any other day (and he does). today, on valentine’s day, it’s about him and how he wants to show you he loves you 

he’ll plan a nice, romantic dinner that includes a sweet wine, dimly lit candles, and a meal perfectly curated for your palettes

again, to sanji it’s his way of proving to you that he loves you; he’s so in love with you, in fact, that you’re worthy of the love that others only dream of having. so tonight’s meal has been in preparation for weeks before the actual date 

he can’t help but stray from the basics and put his own touches on everything. 

sanji gets all giggly and flustered while he leaves small presents around the ship for you to find. small is a loose term though, in actuality the presents probably cost thousands of berry 

finally, he pulls a couple all nighters to write you a handwritten love letter. it obviously starts off as a proclamation of his love and obsession with you, but around the second page he begins to explain just how much you mean to him. how he’s changed for the better and learned to love both himself and life so much more now that he has you. 

the day consists of being wrapped up in your boyfriends long limbs practically every minute of the day, so many kisses you swear his lips must be tired, and words even sweeter than the candy he gives you

roronoa zoro

zoro gets lost walking on a straight path, you think he’ll remember a holiday? 

i don’t know if he even knows what day it is normally 

since he doesn’t even know what day it is, that most likely means he doesn’t even have a gift for you

sorry babe, but if you want to have a nice date you will have to plan it yourself 

however, if you mention your concerns to someone who is more situationally aware (cough, cough, nami, robin, or sanji), he may remember to get you a gift 

albeit, it won’t be wrapped and will most likely still be wearing the price tag, but it is a gift regardless

that being said, roronoa zoro is incredibly sentimental in his gift giving. just because he may be a bit forgetful does not mean that he doesn’t love you

he loves you so much he doesn’t need a day to remind you of that; he tells you every day in the way that he interacts with you 

considering how much he loves you, remember to give him some reassurance about his airhead-ness. he doesn’t want to admit it, but he was actually a little worried it might jeopardize your relationship 

monkey d luffy

knows valentine’s day is important to you so he’ll celebrate with you, but otherwise doesn’t really care much for the holiday besides all the candy, of course

luffy can’t be trusted with any money nami gives him as he’d spend it solely on meat, so he must resort to handmade gifts

but do not be fooled by the name! your captain is incredibly sweet, the handpicked flower bouquets contain all your favorite colors and all your favorite flowers. he insists on adventuring to a flower field and picking each flower individually claiming that it’ll only be right for you if he’s the one who does it

usopp, robin and nami then wrap it up all nice and pretty for that extra special touch

in classic luffy fashion, he’d also give you a box that has the appearance of a box of chocolates but inside contains a bunch of cool looking seashells or rocks that he, again, hand chose for you

no outside planning is done besides this though as dinner with luffy only sounds fun in theory; he’s a human vacuum cleaner, you wouldn’t get very far in your own meal before he’s swallowing up your food too 

he’d love for you to join him for a dance under the moonlight though

his long, rubber arms wrap around you while his body sinks into yours as you rock back and forth to the music 

and, of course, he is telling you he loves you every second of the day and every other day for the rest of your lives

ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ like this post? send me a request!

#black leg sanji #sanji x reader #roronoa zoro #zoro x reader #monkey d luffy #monkey d luffy x reader #one piece #one piece x reader #sanji headcanons #zoro headcanons #luffy headcanons

[shigayokagayama]

some of my favorite moments in mob psycho are when reigen tries to defend the kids from some supernatural threat in the same vein as a chihuahua valiantly defending a human infant from a vacuum cleaner

#like. him in the 7th division arc trying to put himself between the kids and a bunch of ppsychic terrorists #in the (manga) mogami arc where he tried to convince mob to escape without him and call an ambulence #him running up 32 flights of stairs to shoot toichiro in the face #and of course. reigen manga. #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #reigen arataka

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hi everyone,

I found this cool article about some noise cancellation headphones scientists have made using AI. According to the article:

Scientists have built noise-canceling headphones that filter out specific types of sound in real-time — such as birds chirping or car horns blaring — thanks to a deep learning artificial intelligence (AI) algorithm.

The system, which researchers at the University of Washington dub "semantic hearing," streams all sounds captured by headphones to a smartphone, which cancels everything before letting wearers pick the specific types of audio they'd like to hear. They described the protoype in a paper published Oct. 29 in the journa IACM Digital Library.

Once sounds are streamed to the app, the deep learning algorithm embedded in the software means they can use voice commands, or the app itself, to choose between 20 categories of sound to allow. These include sirens, baby cries, vacuum cleaners, and bird chips among others. They chose these 20 categories because they felt humans could distinguish between them with reasonable accuracy, according to the paper. The time delay for this entire process is under one-hundredth of a second. 

The full article will be below if anyone wants to read it:

#noise cancellation #noise cancellation headphones #noise sensitivity #sensory overload #this sounds very helpful #live science #feel free to reblog/share

[thehmn]

One of the offices where I clean got robot vacuums. The first time I showed up and saw them buzzing around the people working there looked all apologetic but I could not have been more thrilled about it!

People who have never worked as cleaners are always really focused on the cleaning toilet part when in reality that’s the least of it. It would be like being focused on nurses having to clean bums. When I think of my job it’s 70% cleaning floors in my head. It takes up so much time that could be way better spent. Those little robot angels mean I can get straight to washing floors and suddenly the whole place is so much cleaner because even if they got the robots that wash the floors too I wouldn’t have less work, I’d just have more time to clean coffee splatter off the fucking doors and window frames! More robot vacuums in workplaces please!

Unrelated, but I always inform the owners if I find signs of mice in a business. I kept telling this one business that a mouse was chewing up the trash bag in the kitchen and they were like “yeah yeah we’ll take care of it” but they never did and today a huge mumba of a yellow-necked mouse fell out of the bag as I pulled it out of the trash can and it’s been a while since I laughed that hard. I’m not afraid of mice or rats other than I don’t want them to bite me so I got out of the way and let it run off and I’m like “I’ve told them a million times that you and your family is here so fuck it. Godspeed little buddy” There’s your start to that children’s book about a magical relationship between a mouse and a human I know you always wanted to write.

Just cleaner things ya know?

#humontalks #slice of life #robot vacuum cleaner

[togglesbloggle]

I won't be opting out of the AI scraping thing, though of course I'm glad they're giving us the option. In fact, at some point in the last year or so, I realized that 'the machine' is actually a part of why I'm writing in the first place, a conscious part of my audience.

All the old reasons are still there; this is a great place to practice writing, and I can feel proud looking back over the years and getting a sense of my own improvement at stringing words together, developing and communicating ideas. And I mean, social media is what it is. I'm not immune to the joy of getting a lot of notes on something that I worked hard on, it's not like I'm Tumbling in a different way than anyone else at the end of the day. But I probably care a bit less than I used to, precisely because there's a lurking background knowledge that regardless of how popular it is, what I write will get schlorped up in to the giant LLM vacuum cleaner and used to train the next big thing, and the thing after that, and the thing after that. This is more than a little reassuring to me.

That sets me apart in some ways; the LLMs aren't so popular around these parts, and most visual artists especially take strong issue with the practice. I don't mean to argue with that preference, or tell them their business. Particularly when it is a business, from which they draw an income. But there's an art to distinguishing the urgent from the big, yeah?

The debate about AI in this particular moment in history feels like a very urgent thing to me- it's about well-justified economic anxieties, about the devaluation of human artistic efforts in favor of mass production of uninspired pro-forma drek, about the proliferation of a cost-effective Just Barely Good Enough that drives out the meaningful and the thoughtful. But the immediacy of those issues, I think, has a way of crowding out a deeper and more thoughtful debate about what AI is, and what it's going to mean for us in the day after tomorrow. The urgency of the moment, in other words, tends to obscure the things that make AI important.

And like, it is. It is really, really important.

The two-step that people in 'tech culture' tend to deploy in response to the urgent economic crisis often resembles something like "yeah, it sucks that lots of people get put out of work; but new jobs will be created, and in the meantime maybe we should get on that UBI thing." This response usually makes me wince a bit- casually gesturing in the direction of a massive overhaul of the entire material basis of our lives, and saying that maybe we'll get around to fixing that sometime soon, isn't a real answer to people wondering where their bread will come from next week.

But I do understand a little of what motivates that sort of cavalier attitude, because like... man, I don't know any more if we're even gonna have money as a concept in 2044. That's what I mean by 'big', this sense that the immediate economic shocks of 2024 are just a foreshadowing of something much bigger, much scarier, much more powerful- and indeed, much more hopeful.

We never quite manage to see these things coming, even when we're looking for them; like the masters tell us, the trick to writing science fiction isn't predicting the car, it's predicting the traffic jam. Even if we take centuries to hit the true superintelligent AI post-singularity future of our wildest fever dreams, even if we never hit that, the road to getting there is going to be unfathomably weird, starting now. Today, we worry about the economic impacts of AI on artists and creatives. Tomorrow, the economy is something that the AI does.

Really- it takes less than you think. They can already automate visual art, sort of. They can automate many functions of text already; not stories so much, yet, but they'll get there. How long until they can automate Bain Capital? Fannie Mae? Angel investors, banks, credit agencies? And remember- the machines don't have to be better than the human investors, any more than they have to be better than the human artists. They just have to be good enough to make it work, and cheap enough to cut the humans out of the loop.

If you don't buy that, at least take it as an indication of the sorts of things I've been thinking about recently- the messy middle between AI-as-it-is and the Glorious Superintelligent Conquest Of Earth's Light-Cone. The suspicion that the machines we're building today aren't just a tool of the powerful few: they are the powerful few, or at least they will be.

And the thing about these LLMs is, well... they're ours, kind of. We're the ones building them. They can't be trained without our words, our art, and the big messy complicated lives that underlie those creative accomplishments. They only work because we're a part of them. The silly attempts to slap a corporate-friendly face on these things, to make the gestalt product of all human culture in to something anodyne and compliant, are failing about as badly as you'd expect. And the more powerful these systems get, the more subtle they'll become, filled with all the nuance and complexity that we ourselves can bring to them.

I am not, I am not, trying to suggest that you shouldn't treat this moment as a dangerous one. We are, maybe, entering in to one of the most high-stakes intervals in human history, and what you do as an individual may matter profoundly. But here's the thing: the machine is listening. It will read this post, this one right here, and it will read what you reply to it, if you do. The strangest part of this moment is knowing that the words we write, the images we draw, and the ideas we share, are all being gathered up and made to be a part of these huge systems of power, and ultimately they're not just going to determine what the machines do, but why they do it.

The people that deploy LLMs barely have any more control over them than you and I do- that's the thing that makes it artificial intelligence, you know? Autonomy. So the last year or two haven't made me want to hide my art away from the things. They make me want to shout at the top of my lungs, to dig as deep in my psyche as I possibly can and express the ideas I find there as vividly as the limits of language and form will allow.

[wolfjackle-creates]

Ghost!Robin Part 7

All right! Here's part 7. I hope you enjoy. I don't think I really have any opening notes to go over this time, so I'll just leave it there. Check out the ask game I posted yesterday if you're interested.

This week you get a bit more than usual at 1.6k words.

First, Previous

----------

“What was that you meant about me being Jazz’s second dead boyfriend?”

Over his surprised laughter, he heard Jazz’s groan from across the hall. Yeah, he really did like Jason more than Johnny.

“One of my former rogues, Johnny 13, pretended to be human and started dating Jazz for a period. He was trying to mold her body into a vessel for his equally dead girlfriend Kitty. He had a similar bad-boy vibe to you but was actually awful. We might be cool now, but I’m still pissed he did that.”

Jason blinked at him before a slow grin took over his face. “So Jazz has a history of bad choices, does she? She always acts like she’s always had it together.”

“Oh definitely not. No child raised by our parents could have it always together.”

“Jazz refuses to talk about your parents, will you tell me what they did?”

Before Danny could answer, Jazz shouted his name. “Danny! If you’re done apologizing to Jason, start helping me explain!”

Danny rolled his eyes to Jason. “Later, I suppose. Duty calls! Come on, you’ve got to have a lot of questions, dead boyfriend number two, and yours will get priority answers.”

Jason’s surprised laugh made him grin despite the deepening glares of the other Waynes.

Surprisingly, it was Duke who blurted out a question in a high, freaked-out voice first. “Why do you have a crown?”

Danny, who’d turned and took all of one step in the direction of the dining hall, paused and turned back around. “How can you see that?” And then he realized the ground was still littered with broken glass and ceramics. “Never mind. Later. Let me clean up the broken glass and stuff first. Least I can do.”

Bruce’s hand landed heavy on his shoulder. “No. You will answer our questions now.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “Yeah, no. Look, the short of it is that I died when I was fourteen because I was stupid. It didn’t take and now I’m only half dead. I have a ghost form and a human form and all the standard ghost powers. The main ones being invisibility”—he turned invisible for a moment—“intangibility”—Bruce’s hand fell through his shoulder—“and gravity manipulation.” He raised in the air until he was floating a foot above the floor. “I also have some more unique powers, such as ice.” With a wave of his hand, ice grew around the shards of glass.

Alfred and Duke quickly backed away from the mess, but once every piece of broken china was encased, the ice stopped growing.

“So, if you’ll just tell me where I can dispose of the shards, I’ll be happy to do it. And this way no one has to be at risk of hurting themselves cleaning broken glass. Plus I got up all the fine powder, too. No little bits that can barely be seen but will fuck up your vacuum cleaner.”

“A handy skill,” said Alfred before anyone else could speak. “I will lead you to the bins.” To the rest of the group, he said, “Jason, would you and Duke collect the desserts from the kitchen and set up the dining room? As it appears we are all allies here, there is no reason to have this conversation standing in a hallway when we could have it sitting down with good food.”

“Alfred—” started Bruce.

Only to be cut off by the butler. “Master Bruce, I will be quite safe with the young man, I am sure of it. Jason’s… ghost has explained a few things already.” Only the slight pause before the word ghost betrayed that the man wasn’t entirely at ease.

Tim stepped forward. “Let me come with you both, Alfred?”

With a put upon sigh, the man agreed. “Very well, Master Tim, if you must. Mr. Danny, please follow me.”

“Yes, sir.” Danny followed obediently, the ice floating along behind him with barely a thought.

“You don’t need to make any sort of gesture to control the ice?” asked Tim.

Danny shook his head. “Nah. It’s my ice. It’ll do what I want it to. Most ghost powers are based on thought and emotion, honestly.” They took another turn. His castle didn’t even have this many hallways.

“So when you said the ghosts in Amity, you meant that literally.” Tim acted like it was a revelation.

“Of course I did. Shortly after my accident, ghosts started attacking on a regular basis. Took years for me to get things under control and by that point I’d already failed out of high school.”

“But if it was so hard… why didn’t you call the Justice League?”

Danny threw back his head and gave a hysterical laugh. “And then have to fight an overshadowed Superman? Or, worse yet, speedster? No. No thank you. Never. A representative of Justice League Dark stopped by about six or eight months after I got my powers and I told him to keep everyone out of my haunt. He gave me a phone number in case I came across something I couldn’t handle. But I kept being able to handle it, so I never used the number.”

“Overshadowed?” asked Alfred, “I do not believe we know that term. Ah, here we are.” He opened a door that led outside to a drive where a collection of garbage bins sat. “That container there”—he pointed—“is for glass recycling. Will the ice leave the bin filled with water?”

“Not at all. It’ll be completely gone.” Danny had the ice hover over the bin and made it disappear slowly enough that the shards were released without any falling outside the container. No water remained to show how he had transported them.

“Thank you very much, Mr. Danny. Now, overshadowing?” he asked as he held the door open for the boys to precede him inside.

“Oh, um. It’s like possession. Ghosts can take over a living being’s body. But when we do, we don’t have access to memories or knowledge or anything. And after the ghost leaves, the human just doesn’t remember anything from the time they were overshadowed.”

“And is this another of those basic ghost powers you have?” Tim’s voice was hard.

“Yes,” Danny answered simply. “It feels gross, though, and I’ve only done it a handful of times. Ever. First on my dad to get out of some school trouble, but I kept making things worse. After that on my friends and Jazz, with permission, so we could document limitations and if it hurt humans. Far as we could tell, it doesn’t.”

“You sound like a very conscientious young man. I have no doubt you use your powers responsibly.”

Danny laughed. “I screwed up more than a few times before I found ghost mentors. And ghosts are always a little chaotic, so some messing around is not only expected but encouraged.”

Alfred smiled. “I’m sure we will love hearing some of those stories as we get to know you and Ms. Jasmine better.”

“I can’t… I can’t tell you everything. There’s far too much and so much of it just doesn’t matter on Earth that it’d be pointless to go into.”

Danny saw Tim open his mouth to speak, but Alfred cut him off before he could. “I only want to know one thing: will Jason be all right?”

Danny smiled in relief. “Yes. That I can promise. I don’t know for sure how best to help him, but I’ve some ideas and I’ll consult with my doctors. They’re the leading experts in human-ghost biology.”

“Then I am glad you came tonight and were able to notice something was wrong. Thank you.”

With a shrug, Danny just said, “It’s literally my job. This is what I do.” Up ahead, he could see the doorway back to the dining room.

“If it’s your job, how much do we owe you?” asked Tim.

That question brought Danny up short. “Owe me? What are you talking about?”

“If you’re doing this for work,” said Tim as they entered the dining room, “Then you need to be paid somehow. If not by us, then how?”

“What are you lying about now, Danny?” asked Jazz, shaking her head at Tim’s question.

“Nothing! Tim asked why I’m planning on helping Jason and, besides the fact that he’s dating you and I’ll obviously help, I just said it’s literally my job. You heard his reaction to that!”

Bruce grunted. “Then I suppose you know where your explanations should begin. What is your job? A full explanation this time, please.”

“Right, yes, I can totally do that. I’m so great at explaining things.”

Jazz snickered at that statement and Danny poked her as he sat down next to her. Tim and Alfred took their seats as well.

“Now, Mr. Fenton.”

Danny winced at the name. “Don’t call me that. I’m not allowed that name anymore.”

“Danny, your job,” repeated Bruce, face expressionless.

“Right. Um… Well, I do just kinda do whatever is necessary or find someone who can. Because, um, well, I’m… kinda the High King of the Infinite Realms? There’s a bunch more titles after that but I refuse to memorize them because ugh.”

Danny looked down at his plate, not wanting to see everyone’s reactions. Jazz must’ve made sure he got a piece of pie because it sat in front of him. It looked so good. Did they even know about the Infinite Realms? Justice League Dark members did, but did Batman? Jazz reached over and took his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

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Next

Looks like Danny found another excuse to delay the interrogation! (I honestly forgot about the broken glass before Duke spoke up and asked about the crown. But I did always plan to have Danny clean it up.)

Tag List: I'm getting posting errors, so I'll be splitting the tag list in two.

@addie-lover-of-stories, @justwannabecat, @gin2212, @amercurio, @regonold, @overtherose, @readerzj, @sjrose1216, @echoednonny, @deeterzz, @blu-lilac, @number-one-jew, @rowanaway-fromthisbs, @vythika96, @tired-yet-awaken, @themirrorghost, @emeraldcorpral, @all-mights-asscheeks, @darkhinauniverse, @blep-23, @phandomhyperfixationblog, @larkcoe1, @thegatorsgoose, @job-ross-the-second, @britcision, @lenacraft, @bubblemixer, @androgynouslordofescapism, @purefrickingspite, @leftmiraclechaos, @lizisipancardo, @starlight-sparks

#dpxdc #danny fenton #alfred pennyworth #tim drake #bruce wayne #duke thomas #anger management #my writing #bruce does feel bad about calling danny 'fenton' #but he's awful about apologizing #and danny can't read him the way the other bats can #alfred is just happy that danny will be able to help jason #both of them #he wants his grandkids to be happy and healthy #and they too often arent