#the lack of respect for yuki is ridiculous

[polastri4]

this weekend yuki tsunoda outqualified his teammate entirely legitimately, had significantly better race pace than said teammate, and would have finished ahead of him if not for bullshit team orders

#the lack of respect for yuki is ridiculous #an icon a legend the moment #hope vcarb don’t spend the entire season fucking him over with strategy and team orders #yuki tsunoda #just to be safe #anti ricciardo #formula 1

[yunsoh]

i still dont really understand why kakeru said all that stuff to tohru at kyokos funeral. it just seems pointlessly mean and kinda ruins his character for me 😷

yeah i feel like this is kind of the point of contention for his character for a lot of people lmao, but i think it seems so out of left field because we don’t get to really sit with kakeru’s personal issues for very long in the series -- we get them in bursts and have to draw our own conclusions about some things that aren’t explicitly stated.

what makes kakeru’s character kind of hard to know is that he himself doesn’t dwell on his issues very much, especially not like the other characters who also go through a considerable emotional development over the series -- we usually see characters feeling particularly stuck on what happened to them in their childhoods, and can then make pretty clear lines between their traumas and how they act in the present story. 

kakeru’s childhood, though, is shown pretty briefly, and there’s even a fair amount of time between him getting out of his family’s situation and the funeral that we don’t see (the timeline isn’t very clear, but i assume it to be about two years). kakeru’s very much a “present moment” kind of person in a cast that’s prone to dwelling on the past, and i think that reflects a lot in how his narrative is presented. we first meet him when he’s already over a year into his personal moral shift (that is, over a year since komaki got upset with him over what he said to tohru), and we don’t get the story behind that personal shift until near the end of the series, at this point over two years out from when he first decided to change. he doesn’t dwell on his childhood very much at all, even when we do get a chapter from his pov. the only thing mentioned about his childhood during that chapter is from komaki; compare this to other chapters where the pov is shifted to other secondary characters, and they more often than not go into their childhood trauma. 

this reflects more on the aspect of his character that doesn’t shift the blame of his words or actions onto how he was raised or traumatic events -- which comes from his distinct rejection of being bound by forces out of his control. he constantly counters that by taking responsibility for the things that he does as a means to solidify his individual control, to the point where he’s very independent and self-reliant (which comes in part from his complicated/strained relationship with his mother; she’s not home very much, which i think kind of has this dual-outcome of exacerbating his lack of dependency on her and also allowing him the room to really grow on his own, versus what was the case as a child where she had heavy control over him. it has pros and cons.)  

this doesn’t mean that he always acts kindly or even normally (a lot of his responses to when he’s asked why he said or did something is “well x happened, so i did y”), but he never presents this as placing blame on a situation or person for his own actions -- in the case of him being shown that the way he reacted was actually harmful, he usually tries to apologize and correct himself. there’s a line that he’s aware of though when it comes to this; he apologizes when he sees that he’s legitimately hurt someone’s feelings, but he doesn’t apologize over teasing, or otherwise just somewhat embarrassing things. he builds rapport with people by being a nuisance honestly.  

anyways, i think the way that his narrative is presented makes sense for his character, but i think it also lends to people misreading him -- although he presents himself as being someone who moved on quickly from his childhood, this doesn’t mean that his upbringing didn’t hamper his means of socializing with others. while he was freed from the stress of his family situation, he was left with a lot of catching up to do in terms of socializing with his peers; komaki recalls him being very quiet, cold, and angry, and we can infer from the ways that both kakeru and machi talk about their upbringing that he wasn’t really allowed to just be a kid. he was asked to focus on his studies, and that was about it; anything else was a distraction, including his own feelings (ergo, being deeply cold and angry out of repression). i think, too, that any socializing he did have was more on par with unhealthy competition in academics, but that’s just me. regardless, i highly doubt he had friends growing up or was otherwise able to learn how to socialize with peers.

although he doesn’t place blame on his childhood for his actions whatsoever, his upbringing is still massively influential over how he views and reacts to things. it’s why his character arc is so focused on learning things that seem like basic human compassion and sympathy -- he didn’t gain the social skills that normal children should, and that immensely stunted his interpersonal development. while he presents a major personality shift, his actual behaviors are something he has to actively work on improving, as he isn’t even aware of how detrimental they are until he’s confronted with consequence from his peers (namely komaki and yuki).

(now, ofc, yuki is also a character who was heavily compromised in the socialization department as a child, but he had an opposite reaction and instead became overly compliant to other people’s feelings out of a fear of rejection; kakeru i think was raised in such an environment that he only had the room to focus how he compared academically to other kids, so i would imagine that he was more prone to rejecting other people than ever fearing rejection himself. machi too is obviously someone who’s socially stunted, having been in almost the exact situation kakeru was, and we see her struggling between being compliant and rejecting other people; she’ll often do what she’s told, but she struggles to understand her placement in the equation of interpersonal relationships and often tries to avoid engagement.)

when it comes to why he said what he did to tohru, there’s a few things going on at once that more or less lead up to his reaction: 

a) he’s probably about two years out from having left his family’s situation; he’s taken his personal change completely onto himself, which is good in some regards but he also lacks the perspective to criticize his own behavior (particularly his issues of being selfishly single-minded and having issues understand perspectives that aren’t his own). he’s more or less just rolling with things at this point. he hasn’t really been challenged during this time (complicated relationship with mom since she backs off from him, komaki’s general disposition to just grin and bear things...)

b) he’s been dating komaki for two(ish) years; komaki is shown to be the first person who really likes him, and he completely cherishes her in that regard. but she’s also the only person who really knows him (the next person he allows to really know him like she does is yuki), so when it comes to being challenged by other people he basically only respects her opinion on the matter. however, it’s inferred that she hasn’t really challenged him during this time, being that his first real wakeup call with her is after the funeral, and that she tends towards being an unchallenging force (the whole “smiling so other people won’t be sad” thing; tends to stifle her own feelings to avoid making other people uncomfortable). we don’t really know what the beginning of their relationship was like, so it’s unclear why there was such a long period of time where he went unchallenged by her (possibly just a mix of her tending to let things slide/not bring up things that bother her, them being 13-15 and in a honeymoon period & it being their first relationship, and/or that this was the first thing to set him off during their relationship that had real detriment). 

c) he’s in a place where he feels justified voicing his feelings; being that his demand to be taken out of the inheritance issue was actually listened to, he gets a pretty immense sense of personal power from that point on. he’s not one to hold back his thoughts, really, which is especially notable after having gone through his whole childhood having repressed his emotions. but, this is also why he always ends up with his foot in his mouth.

d) he’s in a position where he feels completely powerless; i think this is probably the biggest point to consider. again, he's learned that he has power to reject situations that he feels bind him out of his control, and in the past fighting against it has worked in his favor. but this isn’t a situation that he can just speak up against and have things set right. he wants to stand up for komaki’s feelings specifically because he’s sensitive to her emotions (and, well, he’s feeling the emotional impact of her grief, too. he’s not emotionally mature enough to really look at the situation completely unselfishly. this isn’t even just a kakeru thing tbh, i think this is something that is ridiculously difficult to manage as a teenager -- but it’s definitely exacerbated by the fact that he has issues understanding perspectives outside of his own). but there isn’t anyone or anything to fight against, so he ends up feeling agitated.

e) he makes someone to fight against; he projects his frustrations of powerlessness over the situation onto someone he could perceive as an “enemy,” which in this case is unfortunately easy to create considering the accident. being that it’s unclear who was at fault in the accident, the obvious path he’s going to take is faulting kyoko, which then leads him to direct his anger at tohru. again, he’s selfishly single-minded -- he’s completely submerged in komaki’s hurt over the loss of her dad (mentioned when he says he didn’t consider that she might not have felt the same way he did about the situation), and is sensitive to having feelings squashed because outside forces. he views tohru’s grief as being unfair, because he can’t just look at the accident as something that theoretically leaves komaki’s dad and kyoko equally at fault under the ambiguity of what happened. to protect komaki’s grief and his own subsequent hurt, he makes the situation unambiguous in his head, which then gives him allowance to project in a way that he feels he’s doing something to remedy the situation, even if it does nothing at all. it’s a desperate grab to take some control in a situation where he doesn’t have any.

does any of this justify what he says to her? of course not. but, we see plenty of other instances of characters saying unjustifiably cruel things to one another (kyo, yuki, rin), but we’re given the benefit of having explicit context for why they do what they do. we’re not given the same explicit context with kakeru, so we’re left to infer from what we learn from his general character traits and the bits and pieces of information we receive about his past to piece things together. 

and on that note, i think kakeru eventually coming around to apologize to tohru over what he said is interesting in itself, because it’s really the only situation that he has prolonged issues with moving on from. and he has this issue because it’s not resolved; he can’t just leave it as is because of komaki, but he also doesn’t feel like he has to or should apologize to tohru because she doesn’t seem upset about it whatsoever. 

the discomfort he holds over the matter has a lot to do with the fact that he’s strung between two responses over it: there’s komaki’s response of being incredibly upset with him over what he said, and tohru’s response of not seeming to care at all. he’s torn because he wants to do better for komaki, and can see how his reaction hurt her -- but, tohru’s lack of response to him seems to indicate that she wasn’t hurt. her not recognizing him whatsoever aggravates him because he gets the sense that he was justified in being angry with her, but he can’t let it go because he’s actually starting to understand that he acted in a way that was incredibly hurtful. but he doesn’t come to understand this because he’s told that what he did was hurtful -- he understands it because he sees how he legitimately hurts other people with his words, and begins to recognize this pattern in himself. 

he actually doesn’t come around to apologizing to her until he comes to understand her through yuki’s perspective, which i think humanizes her in his head (especially since he respects yuki’s thoughts in a similar way he does komaki’s), and until she finally does recognize him again, which destabilizes his idea that he was justified in his anger. even though she doesn’t confront him over what he said to her, or even indicates that it hurt her, at this point he does recognize that he was in the wrong. he even sees komaki in her in that she tends to repress her feelings for the sake of other people, and i think that’s something that really drives that matter home for him. him apologizing to someone who doesn’t explicitly make their hurt known to him is actually a considerable step for him to take, even if it seems trivial among a cast that’s otherwise pretty sensitive to other people’s feelings.

#okay i'll stop now LMAO but like. yeah. #i have many thoughts abt this it is simply how it is #kakeru manabe #fruits basket #answered #yunsoh meta #fruits basket spoilers #Anonymous

[fabelyn]

In Carcere Ch.39

Pairing: inahoxslaine (orangebat, inasure)

Rated: T Warnings: spoilers for series finale Chapter: 39/? (previous chapter) Chapter Word Count: 16k

Summary: At first Inaho visits out of duty and humanity. And then he finds he can’t stop going back to see Slaine Troyard.

As the first week after Inaho’s departure is coming to an end, there is a lingering feeling Slaine can’t quite place; something uncomfortable yet not wholly unfamiliar. He notices it in particular when he is playing a card game with Lemrina when she first comes to visit, and it troubles him.

Later, as he stares into the ceiling above his head, waiting for sleep to claim him, Slaine recalls what it is. It’s the tug he feels when he’s left too long alone and the isolation begins to get to him.

I’m so used to associating Inaho leaving with my being alone that it’s bothering me even now, when I have company without him.

It makes enough sense, and Slaine goes with that.

And yet…

The feeling seems to grow the following weeks, which is ridiculous. More so because he cannot help but feel the pang even when he has someone over.

During another visit, when he’s tasting homemade cookies from Harklight, he feels off again, and his mind wanders to what Inaho would think of the food if he had been there.

*

Even after eleven days of intense neural rehabilitation and even stricter behavioral regiments, Inaho is still on his best behavior.

He voices no complaints at any tasks. He obeys his sleep and meal schedule to the letter. He voices no protest when they forbid him from leaving the medical facility. Nor does he ever inquire about his tablet and phone, taken from him on day one. He most certainly never asks about news of the outside world.

Inaho doesn’t frown when the only entertainment they offer him is simple, basic story books. He can meditate just fine or, although this he only does in secrecy, stare at the pendant he once again has in his hands.

The more willing he is to obey, the faster he is cured and, more importantly, the less suspicions will befall him when he does act. Let them assume he truly has no reason to be here other than to be cured, and that the repercussions are so dire he can barely react to the isolation.

Then again, he has heard people assume he prefers being alone. That is, in fact, untrue. Inaho does enjoy company, else his friends and sister wouldn’t mean so much to him. It is simply that he can handle periods away from others without issue. They’re good for introspection and strategizing.

And if he can’t plot right now to avoid burdening his recovering brain, then he can at least reflect. Naturally, the object of that is the pendant back in his hands.

He has plenty of time to compartmentalize what he feels about it and come to some conclusions.

First and foremost, there is a feeling of pride and happiness at being given the pendant the way he was. He has attained a place in Slaine’s heart that’s not hatred. More than that, Slaine cares enough to hand him his precious pendant, something only Asseylum had merited before. Worrying so, he also can’t help the small smugness and feeling that he has managed to pull Slaine from Asseylum somewhat.

Romantic love is fascinating , Inaho concedes to himself.

That said… his feelings on the matter of the gift now settled, he must ensure to rise above them and stop any problematic actions. He should not feel this way. Slaine must not see him as a substitute for Asseylum, as someone to love like an idol on a pedestal.

It has little to do with the circumstances; Inaho sees it as a slight to have the one he loves only love him back not as himself but as an effigy to dote on.

But reality does make it worse. If in other circumstances he might have considered pursuing Slaine romantically, as things are now he cannot allow that to happen. 

(Briefly the question arises if it’s possible for Slaine to love him romantically at all, if not tied to their twisted roles of captor and captive… He shies away from that. He doubts Slaine would ever truly fall for him.)

He wonders if he should have accepted the pendant after all, and maybe should have refused more insistently. But that was beyond him.

The dimmed lights of his room turn brighter as Rayet enters without bothering to knock.

“I could have been asleep,” Inaho points out, tucking the pendant away unhurriedly; it is useless to try and hide that from Rayet at this point.

“It’s 3pm, there is no way you’d be asleep,” she retorts, looking around the room as she always does, waiting to see if something had been added to it. When it’s clear it’s just as bare as the last time she’d been there —that morning— she looks concerned. “Are you sure you don’t need me to kick up a fuss for you?” She sits next to him on the bed and, despite them clearly being alone and the room not being bugged (they had checked) still lowers her voice. “I’m pretty sure even Slaine has more stuff in his cell.”

He didn’t have at the start , Inaho thinks, but makes sure not to voice that observation, lest Rayet assume he is accepting this as a form of penance. He wishes he could make the importance of obeying the rules of his treatment get through to her.

“The faster I follow the rules, the faster I’ll heal,” he repeats again. Rayet sighs and pats his back.

“I know, I know, but it’s just too depressing. Here, I got you this. And don’t worry, it’s been approved by Dr. Yagarai for your reading.”

Inaho accepts a small booklet and can see why it was. Not only was it not digital, a certain rarity these days, but it seemed short and —judging by the infantile drawings— a guide for children, meaning simpler language and musings; nothing that he would strain himself thinking over.

‘Let’s Learn about the HyperGate Restoration Effort!!’ The title says in English.

“Thank you,” Inaho says dutifully. “I haven’t read anything on the topic, actually.”

“Good. Consider it my parting gift.”

“Are you going back today?” 

“Yeah, the Deucalion is about to make its rounds again, so if I want to visit them one last time I need to leave now. I’d stick around more if you needed me, but I don’t see that happening.”

“The faster you go back, the faster you can go keep Slaine company, especially since Lemrina should be coming for her treatment soon.”

“True.”

Recalling the possibility Slaine had once opened for him regarding Rayet’s feelings for Lemrina, Inaho adds, “But no need to rush if you don’t want to, she won’t be coming too fast. If you go back too soon she might even still be there.”

“...Right,” Rayet answers strangely, and Inaho holds down the urge to smile.

“Anyway, I have to finish packing before I leave, anything you want from me?”

“Not really, thank you. I’ll see you in a few months.”

“Eesh, I will definitely come back to visit you two before that. I’ll tell our friends you said hi.”

“I should be gaining more freedom in the treatment in a few weeks, maybe less. If the Deucalion is nearby, I’ll visit them myself.”

“Good, I’ll tell them that, they’ll be thrilled. See you.”

“Yes, good bye.”

She waves as she leaves the room. 

Inaho glances at the booklet again; he opens to find the first page is dominated by a photo of the hypergate as it once stood when functioning, whole and shining, with short text explaining its functions.

The Hypergate was awesome!! Not only was it tall, even taller than a 10 story building, it helped us travel through Space! That’s right! Thanks to it, we could visit the moon, and from there, go meet up with our friends on Mars~

Inaho finds his interest dwindling already.

The wristband he’s wearing begins vibrating, indicating he has five minutes left before his next session. In respect for Rayet’s efforts, Inaho carefully places the booklet inside a pocket of his bag and leaves. 

*

By week three, Slaine has no choice but to come to terms with the actual truth.

He misses Inaho.

He curls into a ball in his bed and groans at the realization. He’d bang his head on the wall too, but the last thing he needs are guards thinking he has lost it again. Maybe he has.

And the feeling is different than the other times he was left to his own devices during one of Inaho’s absences. Perhaps he had not truly missed Inaho himself before, just the presence of anyone else, to stave off the emptiness of having nothing and no one.

Even when Inaho’s presence had felt like a mockery against him every time he appeared, and Slaine had loathed to look at his face, the fact remained that the lack of Inaho meant complete and utter isolation.

(And in a way, the fact that he needed Inaho to help keep the loneliness away had only made him more bitter at the start).

Because of that, whenever Inaho went away, what Slaine had felt more keenly was that he was alone. What he ultimately felt about Inaho’s presence didn’t matter, as the absence of other human beings to interact with was more painful.

But now, the situation has changed. Lemrina, Harklight and, shockingly, Inaho’s sister visit him regularly, and even when it’s not Harklight’s turn to watch the prisoner, he finds errands to run that have him appearing in front of Slaine anyway, as a small solace.

For the first time, Inaho is absent, yet Slaine doesn’t feel lonely.

(Rayet’s absence is also noted, but strangely not as much so).

Which means that if he misses Inaho even so… then he misses the person, and not simply a non threatening presence.

Slaine isn’t sure why it even bothers him to admit this; if he already acknowledged Inaho as his friend, then isn’t this the natural consequence of being away from a friend?

I’m used to his presence, and he’s my friend, so this is normal to feel, isn’t it?

It surprises Slaine how not all his stubbornness had been broken out of him. He finds himself reluctant to fully admit this, even to Harklight.

*

As if sensing his small inner turmoil and wishing to increase it, Yuki comes.

Her visits can be separated into two possible conversation pieces: waxing poetics about Inaho and, less often, asking Slaine strangely probing questions. They feel… suspicious, somehow, though he can’t quite put his finger on why or what her objective could be. At one point he wondered if Yuki was trying to set him up with someone, but quickly let go of that notion. Inaho’s sister more than anyone would know his situation.

Today’s question is… Lemrina.

“You two are very close,” Yuki says with a smile that has Slaine’s instincts on alert. 

So it’ll be probing questions today . “Not that close,” he answers truthfully.

“Really? And does that bother you?”

Where is she trying to lead me with this? 

“I wish she could come to me about her situation, but it seems she is keeping a lot to herself,” he answers carefully.

Yuki sighs. “Let me guess, because she thinks it would be harmful to tell you certain things?”

“Yes, actually!” Despite being wary, he can’t help the exasperation when she happens to be on the mark.

She sighs again in commiseration. “Inaho does the same to me, it’s hard taking care of siblings when we don’t even know what’s going on.”

Maybe it’s a result of Yuki being too used to Inaho, because she is definitely not as subtle as she thinks she is. She had jumped at suggesting a sibling connection too fast, clearly having been keen on getting to that point with her questions.  

Is that what this interrogation is about? Why would Lemrina’s relationship to me be so relevant, and why so interested in defining it as such? 

Ah, could it be that she is hoping to find a good partner for Lemrina and wants to ensure I wouldn’t undermine it?

“While my feelings for Lemrina are in no way romantic,” he makes sure to keep eye contact so Yuki can’t think he might be lying, “and I do want whatever —or whoever— is best for her, I can hardly say I deserve to be called—”

“What is it with this ‘I don’t deserve to be siblings’ thing that’s going?” Yuki interrupts with an eye roll.

“... Did Lemrina…?” It didn’t sound like her.

“No. Someone else, a friend of mine. Nevermind.” Yuki brushes off his question quickly. “Anyway, I’m not asking if you feel like you’re royalty. Or that you deserve to be treated like you share royal blood. Only if you see her as a sibling.”

“I don’t think… I don’t know. I didn’t even realize I cared for her at all for most of our acquaintanceship,” he admits shamefully, “I was too preoccupied with… well…”

Yuki seems to finally take pity on him. “I’m sorry. I sprung up quite the loaded question on you. It’s just…” She sighs. “You are all so… tragic . You are as young as Nao. Same as Rayet. Lemrina is even younger, and you all act like veteran war chiefs. And I suppose you are, at that. But you all have… sorry about this, but… the emotional knowledge of toddlers.”

Slaine blinks, the description so surprising he can’t even find it in him to be insulted.

Yuki looks apologetic as she continues. “It’s not your fault. And the heavens know I tried with Nao. But you are all living your lives and interacting with each other and not even knowing how you feel! That can’t be healthy. Acknowledging and understanding your feelings for someone is such a relief; and I watch you children stumble around with each other... You can handle a war, but you aren’t sure about how to just... deal with certain things.

“Nao’s other friends are… that is, they had a better upbringing, so even if they need all the help they can get to survive a fight, they know about their own feelings more. But none of you do! And you are mostly only interacting with each other, and I feel that if I don’t step in and point the way, you kids might only ever stumble upon it when it’s too late.”

Slaine is taken aback to the point of speechlessness for a minute. He had been told, repeatedly, by both Inaho and Rayet, of how doting and protective Yuki was. However, he had never thought that she’d extend that kindness to martians, and especially not him.

“... Thank you. But I mean it, I don’t know. Well, I’d have to be her friend first before anything more, right?”

“You mean, you can’t like someone as a sibling unless you are friends first? No, not at all, the feelings aren’t linked.”

“Oh. Well, I never had siblings before. I understand that having a sibling doesn’t mean you will love them, but I thought that… to love someone as a sibling, isn’t that... ah, beyond friendship?”

“Not necessarily, no. You can love someone as your brother and sister and be their friends, or not. You might love them, want to see them grow, be happy, protect them, but your interests might not align, or your maturity.”

Ah, that explains her and Inaho.

“...I see, thank you for explaining that.”

“Oh no, please don’t thank me. I think I sprung the topic a little too fast. Anyway, I think my time is up, I promise next time I’ll bring something more fun to the table…”

*

Yuki leaves, not feeling as content as she had expected on hearing certain confirmation that Slaine had no romantic interest in Lemrina.

She sighs as she begins the drive back to her home.

It is true that she can’t bear to see how broken these kids all were. How they keep floundering, lost, and only seem to find themselves when war and death are on the horizon. She does want to do something for them. She was never that good a soldier, but at least as a mature adult she can maybe point them in the right direction.

That said… that said she did push too hard and fast with Slaine. Her selfish notion of wanting Nao to be happy clouded her judgment. That and, perhaps, that she had never quite forgiven Slaine yet for the harm he had done to her brother after all…

And yet the lost and grateful look he gave her... Yuki nearly crashes the car by banging her head in the steering wheel. 

Maybe if Nao and him were still enemies she could maintain her hatred of Slaine, but with Nao not only forgiving but even loving him, how could she not eventually melt too? After all the fine girls and boys she tried to nudge Nao towards, Slaine had to have some world class charisma to catch his heart, so of course Yuki can’t hold a grudge anymore.

Which just leaves her feeling all the more guilty for trying to force the poor lost boy into the path she wants for Nao. If anything, forcing him into a false or premature conclusion would just make any ensuing relationship a disaster.

She vows to be kinder to Slaine. And stop with the leading questions on feelings. She has pushed him enough for now, it’s likely Slaine will begin examining things on his own and, perhaps, come to her for help.

She just wishes…

There’s going to be conflict again in the future. Nao will be in the thick of it. She could do nothing for him at the last war, and she knows she will be able to do even less in any future ones, so if she could at least help him —or anyone— until then...

*

Slaine finds himself unable to sleep, consumed by his own reflections. Yuki had opened a door for him to truly wonder where his feelings lay towards the people around him.

Perhaps the problem lies in the fact that friendship, while not a foreign concept, is something Slaine hasn’t had before. Asseylum was never a friend to him, she was too far above anyone for that in his mind. Eddelrittuo and he never got along until Asseylum was comatose, at which point Slaine himself had other priorities than trying to befriend the maid that had previously despised him.

Harklight had been a servant, and as much as Slaine liked him, he was too conscious of their difference —and too focused on his plan— to do anything about it.

(Or maybe it was that deep down he had always felt inferior and a sham, pretending to care for Vers’ interest for the sole purpose of keeping Asseylum safe, or else why would he be perfectly comfortable with the man now that Harklight and he had even more of a power imbalance?)

And Lemrina… there had been too much guilt there, too much of using her. He is loath to admit it, but perhaps he might not have been as kind to her then if he hadn’t needed her…

Well, whatever had been their twisted relationship then, surely he saw them as friends now.

But it puzzled him how different he felt towards these familiar people. Was friendship just a broad term for any feelings of fondness?

Towards Lemrina he feels… careful. He wants her to grow and succeed and be happy. He wishes he could protect her or at least guide her instead of being shackled to him.

Perhaps Yuki is correct in that he sees her as a sibling? Though whatever Yuki says, he doesn’t deserve to ever admit that. If Lemrina rejected even Asseylum, who was he to suggest such a role for himself?

But that would be strange as similarly, yet not quite, he feels towards Harklight: he wishes for his success as well. But unlike Lemrina, Slaine feels more open towards Harklight. Whereas he feels he should be guiding Lemrina, he keeps ending up being guided by Harklight.

Yuki... he doesn’t count as a friend yet. As much as he appreciates her visits, she leaves him frazzled somehow. Some of her questions are too probing. Thankfully the questions are rare, most of the visits consist of Yuki praising Inaho. It’s in a way fascinating to see how many praises she can heap on him without repeating herself. But even in that, Slaine has a strange instinct telling him he needs to please Yuki.

(Possibly, his instincts are warning him she hasn’t deep down forgiven him quite yet, so he must be on his best behavior. Which is easy enough, just agree whenever she praises Inaho… although sometimes he catches himself agreeing with sincerity and the fact that Yuki is that good at brainwashing is truly worrying.)

Rayet… is the simplest one. She’s fun. It’s amusing to talk to her, her aggressive personality doesn’t really bother him much and the competitive streak she often reveals during games has Slaine silently laughing. If anything, his idea of friendship had always been what he has with Rayet now.

So where does that leave Inaho?

There’s something electric about interacting with him. Slaine initially assumed it was just the underlying tension of their past, but he can no longer say that. It’s not tension, but adrenaline. He can’t help but tease Inaho even if mercilessly, he wants to beat him in games and rapport in a rivalry he doesn’t have with anyone else. Is it a lingering trauma or complex from those years of fearing he’d take Asseylum away? That could certainly explain it; yet Slaine cannot completely assume that explanation because there’s an enjoyable thrill from his interactions he cannot link to his past.

Inaho used to fascinate him as the recipient of his jealousy (for his accomplishments, for the feelings Asseylum had for him) and fear (of what Inaho would take from him). Now he can’t handle thinking that Inaho still fascinates him without feeling himself flush.

Maybe because, ironically, Inaho had before been an existence similar to Asseylum, someone too far removed from Slaine.

...It seems even in his own head Slaine cannot manage to steer himself in the direction he wants; if Lemrina and Harklight are family, what are Rayet and Inaho? Was their history coloring his relationship? But if so, why in a way that made him thrilled, and not feel heavy when with Inaho, despite the steady dwindle in his negativity towards him? 

Is this the difference between a friend and a best friend?

Since Yuki enjoys probing questions on his feelings, maybe she’d be best to ask about this… yet his mouth clamps shut at the mere thought. Similarly with Harklight.

What he needs, maybe, is experience, or a stranger who he can ask more freely.

Slaine recalls Inaho’s friends. They had been well adjusted and sociable, with a history of multiple friends. They would help.

But Slaine is not selfish enough to wish for another meeting, not when he knows what that would entail. 

* 

As if the universe wishes to mock him even as it grants him mercy, Slaine is soon given elsewhere to focus on.

It happens when Harklight comes to announce a visitor, with a grave expression.

“What is it?” Slaine asks, noticing his face.

“I… he’s here,” Harklight says, and Slaine understands immediately.

The mastermind has finally come to talk. Slaine nods to Harklight and as he leaves, he sits up in his chair, expression cool and collected, ready for whoever—

His mask falls the minute he sees Klancain walking into his cell unaccompanied.

Klancain smiles jovially at him and seats himself in the adjacent chair.

“Slaine Saazbaum Troyard, it has been a while. Too long.”

“Indeed,” Slaine says, recovering quickly. “And what do I owe the pleasure of your company Co—oh, should I say Your Highness?” He inquires politely, carefully maintaining a light tone lest he let his true feelings out. “Forgive me, I was told you were engaged but unsure if the marriage has already taken place. News is hard to come by, I’m sure you understand.”

Klancain seems mildly taken aback. “What is this? Harklight told me he has just come by to tell you who I am. And therefore, what I can do for you.”

“I’m not sure what you could possibly mean. I have accepted the error of my ways, and want nothing more than to remain here as penance for the rest of my days.”

“Ah, so you don’t trust that I am the figurehead behind this new attempt at a martian revolution? Harklight and Lemrina can vouch that I am.”

It takes years of training for Slaine not to twitch. Hidden beneath the table, however, his toes curl firmly in place of his fists.

“Oh, I don’t think you’re lying by appropriating a title that isn’t yours. I think this is a farce. I’m saddened that Lemrina and Harklight have fallen for it; I’d ask for you to be lenient but I fear that would have the opposite effect.”

Klancain raises an eyebrow. “You think too highly of me, if you assume I have built this operation and kept it this long for the sole reason of finding dissidents. If anything, this movement has stirred those who otherwise would not have done so. Why, I even added such people to your security. If I was planning to simply hand them over to authorities later, how badly would I look if I had put your imprisonment in jeopardy through my plan?”

Slaine can feel his veins popping and carefully schools his features. “Indeed it’s an impressive con, it shows the lengths to which you’d go for your ruler and fiancée. Amazing, really.”

“You are being too hard headed now. You know this isn’t so. Asseylum would never forgive me if I dared put ideas of strife in her half sister’s head, and embroil her in this. And if this were all a test, why come here now, thus ruining it, instead of waiting longer to see where you stand? Better yet, why even test you at all since, so long as the UFE and Asseylum remain in power, you have no method of escape and even if you did, you’d have no backing?”

Indeed, it made no sense for Klancain to be faking it, and yet…

“Because,” Slaine says through gritted teeth, “if this isn’t a ploy, then this operation of yours is doomed regardless, as it’s spearheaded by the stupidest madman I have ever laid eyes on. And I wouldn’t obey the orders from someone that loathes me.”

Klancain’s face scrunches with fake hurt. “Now, that’s not very nice, is it? The ‘stupidest madman’... I’m offended that you would dare suggest I’m worse than my father. And speaking of that bastard—”

Did he just call his father a—

“You certainly took orders from him, did you not? Regardless, I certainly don’t loathe you. I think for us to have any hope of proceeding we need first to understand, where are these opinions of me even coming from?”

“Where? Have you caught the Empress’ temporary amnesia?” Slaine falters, realizing that Klancain likely isn’t even aware of that having occurred. His disbelief and frustration are getting to him.

He switches to other insults. “Are you a complete imbecile or do you enjoy hearing the obvious? Lucky you, I have all the time in the world so I will humor you: if you truly wanted martians to rule, all you had to do was nothing . I was this close to winning the war on Vers’ behalf. If it weren’t for you aiding her escape, this stalemate would never have happened. So either you despise me enough to screw with a martian victory for the sole purpose of harming me, or you are an idiot. Likely both.”

Slaine stops and realizes he has gotten up in his outburst, having too much pent up anger and grievances since the moment Klancain had dared waltz into his cell as if he wasn’t one of the main people to place him there.

Klancain shakes his head theatrically. “So I see. How disappointing. I thought you were better than this, or perhaps it’s denial? Yes, I believe in your intelligence, Slaine, I’m sure if you stop to think about it, you’ll see how I couldn’t let you win, regardless of my personal respect for you.”

Slaine sits down again, crossing his arms. “Is that so? Then please, the floor is yours, enlighten me .”

Klancain in turn smiles, and threads his fingers together as he leans forward. “You see… and I know you surely will if you reflect on it… your win back then… would have harmed martians in the long run, because you would have consolidated power in Asseylum .”

Slaine wishes he could retort. Instead he feels the air has been taken out of him.

“Ah, I see you aren’t even frowning. You were always aware of it, deep down. No, perhaps not even deep down; it’s not as if you ever cared for Vers beyond her, and perhaps a few of your subjects. Yes, you were undoubtedly about to attain victory for us martians, all that was needed was Asseylum being kept under your guard for a while longer. Less than a day, even. And victory would be ours… but what then?

“We both know what then: you made every order of yours, every move, seem as if it were all an enlightened extension of her will and plans. As such, the victory would be hers to take. martians would turn their obedience into utter devotion for her. Attempting to overthrow a member of the royal family was already a serious, rarely contemplated crime, and after such a triumphant win, it would turn into downright blasphemy. No one would dare, and most would not want to, too grateful. And that was your goal: not to give Earth to Vers, but to give Asseylum the ultimate, most long lasting protection you could. One that would extend even beyond your grave.”

“...”

Klancain continues undeterred, tone light and factual as he describes it all as if reading down a list. “Meanwhile, Asseylum would be beside herself. In her fantasy views, colored by that which she only imagined and the few terrans she actually dealt with, she loves terrans, and Earth, over Vers. She would hate it, utterly despise that such a worldwide massacre of terrans was done in her name. She would call martians to leave whichever terrans survived alive, but too much blood would already have been shed by then. 

“This part of your plan becomes a little… obscure for me, but I assume it would go thus: either you or, more likely, some of her logical minded terran friends would convince her that abdicating at this point would not fix what was done, and instead remaining at the helm to protect what is left is the best she can do. So, she doesn’t abdicate: hating martians, hating you, hating herself besides, she remains the leader of two worlds… and naturally, runs Vers to the ground.

“She would create every law imaginable to protect terrans and Earth. She wouldn’t give land to martians who sorely needed it; she’d instead institute protected terran reserves. Maybe, she’d even convince her grandfather —or await his death— to remove aldnoah from martians and hand it to terrans as penance. Whatever the details, we both know the summation of what her rule would be: one sided towards terrans. She would neglect if not downright harm any martian progress. And you knew that, how could you not? It’s obvious, even for me.

“Meanwhile… Martians would be slow to react to this mismanagement. For a long while they’d trust her implicitly. Afterall, she was the angel that handed them Earth, why would she change and backstab them now? They’d hesitate and even fear to voice any discomfort with her lack of aid.”

Klancain stops, and his tone shifts. His expression closes off and his voice becomes graver, all pretense of levity gone. “Years would pass, and by the time my people realized you lied, that Asseylum was never on their side and that she’s only harming their cause… too much time would have gone by. Vers wouldn’t be as well armed; or perhaps half the armaments have been destroyed with stupid squabbles between Counts now that they could freely attack each other, with their common enemy gone. Internal strife and complacency would have weakened martian power, trust delayed the appropriate measures… and more than likely Asseylum would have by now handed over aldnoah power to any terrans that survived, ready to attack. Martians would lose. At best ‘all’ we’d lose is a decade; at worst we’d all die out.”

He pauses once again, then jarringly continues by going back to his more frivolous tone and expression. “So you see, it’s not that I was against you winning, and certainly not that I was against Vers winning, I was against giving Asseylum the power of belief that would ruin us more effectively than any ongoing war.

“Even now, martians have been so desperate for hope of a better future that even her stalemate made them somewhat satisfied. However, the Counts have hesitated to relax their armaments given the UFE lives on and, also thanks to that, have held back from infighting. Meanwhile the rest of Vers population has already begun to turn, to question why it has been a few years yet their future remains bleak, why barely anyone has managed to be brought to Earth and why the majority of the planet is still given to terrans, why the one that should be their champion —Asseylum— called for a stalemate at the eve of their victory and now does nothing.

“So yes, a basic look at my actions may have me seen a madman, but reflect a little and you’ll see that I had their best interest at heart when I stopped your plot, only to institute my own. If only you hadn’t put her on a pedestal, and instead claimed victory as your own, I would have helped you.”

“...”

Silence stretches between them.

Slaine is momentarily speechless as he gathers his thoughts. The quiet scrutiny he is under is suffocating and does little to help.

Eventually he sighs, feeling his earlier ire leave him as he accepts Klancain’s accusations. As for Klancain’s closing remark… he chooses to not examine it, for now.

“... Yes,” he admits in defeat. “I suppose anyone with more awareness of what kind of person she is, and a look to the future would understand... Vers would have won the fight, but she would ensure they’d lose the war. I concede that she was my objective; I knew no one would be satisfied with the victory I was forging: terrans would nearly be wiped out, she would be beside herself with grief, and in the long run martians would not attain the paradise they expected, at least not for a long while, and not with her at the helm. Yes, I realized this would be the most expected outcome, but I had nothing to live for, if not for her. I saw her nearly die in front of me, and I wanted to give her a future where no one would try again, for as long as possible. Besides— ” He stops himself, but it’s too late.

“Besides?” Klancain urges.

“The terran society seems hardly better, from what I’m witnessing of the UFE. However, the fact remained Vers’ rule was hardly ideal. Power consolidated in the few, who you yourself admit would rather fight each other for power, and had to be wrangled and wrestled into working together even for the benefit of their own society.” 

“Oh yes, I never said I was disappointed that you didn’t love us. My people have their flaws —we are recent descendants of terrans after all— but that doesn’t mean I can’t care and look for a better future, which you were certainly not giving us.”

Slaine breathes out slowly before steeling himself. “However… however you don’t seem to be a solely logical person. There were ways to circumvent this that did not involve allowing her to rule until public opinion turned against her. I suppose these other options might have been harder to do, but you could have achieved Vers wellness without sacrificing the Empress. Yet you chose this path, and I don’t think you did so just because this is the easiest and perhaps faster. Is this truly about helping martians, or do you have a personal vendetta?”

Klancain smiles, and this time it doesn’t seem fake, although that might simply mean he is now hiding his true emotions better. “Now, Slaine, just because you only had one single objective in mind, doesn’t mean everyone must be the same. Why must I only have one reason to dare initiate a years-long plan to overthrow our ruler and change our society? Not all of us have so much focus and passion on one single thing to throw our lives away for one motive alone. Something as dangerous and grave as overthrowing our leaders… must I only do that with one motive in mind? And yet, what vendetta could I possibly have against Asseylum?”

“I don’t know. Yet you must, because the other option was simply murdering her when she boarded your ship running away from me.”

“At which point you would have turned around and railed martians against me. By the time you were no longer a threat, killing her would simply bring about another war, as well as the anger of the former Emperor. Not to mention, Mazuurek would have seen to it that I get killed off in turn. No, I could not kill her then.”

“Maybe,” Slaine concedes, but his instincts still tell him Klancain is not fond, or even indifferent, towards Asseylum. Recalling his earlier words, Slaine tries saying, as if musing to himself out loud, “then again, why would you despise her given how beloved she was to your father—”

Klancain twitches. It’s so fast Slaine almost questions if he’s imagined it, but he knows what he saw, and it confirms his earlier suspicions. “... You… called Count Cruhteo ‘bastard’ earlier.”

“I did. Ah, perhaps it’s time we finally talk about him. And from that it will be easier to explain how I came to have certain feelings towards… you’ll see. You were under the impression I loved my father?”

“I… he was your father —”

“I envy your upbringing that has you thinking that way.”

Slaine is truly and utterly flummoxed. “After we had that meeting, I saw how intently you gazed at the Tharsis. I saw your hands balled into fists!”

“And you took that to mean I was angry that you had his kataphrakt? That he was dead and you may have killed him?”

“Well… yes!”

“Oh dear, in actuality I was angry that I wasn’t there to watch him die. That his beloved weapon was in use and I couldn’t just... scrap it out of spite .”

Slaine snaps his mouth shut, stunned.

“Ah, Slaine, I wished you weren't so entranced by that girl back then. I wanted to have a true conversation with you, as I am sure you, of all people, are the one who can most understand my true feelings towards that man. You see… I utterly despised him .”

Klancain jumps from his chair, now agitated. It’s clear he rarely has the opportunity to explain his true feelings and is excited to do so now.

“My dear father, much like you, ironically, had one singular goal, one singular love in his tiny withered heart: the Vers Royal family. He lived for them, breathed for them, and would have stopped breathing too, had it been their will. He married my mother for the sake of consolidating power, not love. He had me because he wanted an heir to carry on his legacy of being a loyal cur to the Royal family. He never loved me. 

“Do you have happy memories of your father? I do not. His interactions with me were demands that I do better, that I grow up faster. My education, my life, was shaped with the one objective that I follow in his stead. And Slaine, I know about your scars. I wasn’t a terran welp forced upon him, so nothing was branded on my skin, but I know how his punishments were. That cane, I abhorred it, I dreamed of using it on him to see how he liked it. Did you ever dream of doing the same?”

No . Slaine’s scars burn with phantom pain. He had never dreamed of fighting back against Cruhteo. The fear instilled with him had been too great. 

Klancain is pacing around the table now. “And yet… and yet I wanted his love. I thought surely if I worked hard enough, he would finally acknowledge me. I told myself he was just showing tough love and deep down cared for me.”

“And then… Do you know what he did?” He asks as he stops behind his chair, but doesn’t wait for an answer. “He left me. He decided following a princess along for months or years was more important than watching his son grow up. Incidentally, tell me, how surprised were you when you found out he had a son? Did you even see any photos of his family in his Landing Castle? Of course not.

“When he left me, I knew it then, for certain. He had never loved me. And I despised the life he gave me. So you see...” He spreads his arms wide. “I am at best frustrated that you were making use of the Tharsis, and that he’d died away from me. I could never hate you for that. Nor was I ever jealous of you being by his side; I knew his loathing of terrans, whatever love he never had for me, he certainly never gave to you . Ironic, since with your singular focus on Asseylum, you were the son and heir he had wanted to have. The fool.”

“...”

Klancain is master of himself again, and sits down smoothly, although his speech is still faster than his earlier drawl, and his hair is mildly unkempt. “And with that, I suppose you can grasp at what my feelings for Asseylum are, partially. Initially, I truly wanted to love her. I wanted to have the tunnel vision you and my father both had. If I could love her, worship her even, then I could forgive my father, I could understand him and not resent the path he forced on me. I needed those feelings. And yet, I couldn’t.

“You have a unique and tragic story, Slaine. Taken away from both planets and not truly accepted anywhere, so I understand if this is hard for you to believe but: I do care for my fellow martians. I do want to see my people prosper. And that got in my way of loving the Royal family. The former Emperor I even now still feel some fealty to: he truly saved us from our demise. However his flaw is too simple; his blood comes before anyone else. His son was a fool who instigated a war, and good riddance that he was killed. And that son’s legitimate daughter, while not inheriting the bloodlust, has certainly even less intelligence than her dear father. Sheltered and naive. More interested in terrans and their lore than in our survival. Wanting to go around looking at the pretty colors of Earth while martian lives stand on the brink of collapse.

“You loved her because she saved you, she gave you respect when other martians wouldn’t and gave you a place to stay. She gave no one else that. On the contrary, she has always been a threat to our survival with her mindset. So tell me, what is there to Asseylum for me to love?”

“...”

“And I suppose I must acknowledge that my feelings are in a twist. That my father chose such a vapid, mediocre, silly girl who doesn’t care for Vers over me makes me hate him more, and that such a girl took my father away makes me resent her more. Lucky for her, however, I understand she isn’t the only one to blame. I can grasp that the people who failed at educating her are, my father is among them. So I do not feel murderous towards her, or else I might not have been able to fake my relationship with her for as long as I have.

“Her sister however… her sister I can accept. Someone who thinks, who pursues knowledge she lacks, someone who cares for Vers even though she has every reason to resent us. I can accept Lemrina on the throne, I can even trust her intentions on it.

“So yes, Slaine, I could perhaps have worked harder to find a path where Asseylum isn’t used as the reason to strike a revolution, or one where martians are saved that doesn’t harm her. However... I really do not have any incentive to. Seeing her fall from grace due to her own choices will be but justice served.”

He smiles too brightly. “But please forgive me, I believe I might have spoken for too long. I wanted to lay bare my true feelings without holding anything back, as I think you certainly deserve that, at least. But enough about me, what of you?”

“...”

For the second time, Slaine has been left speechless, now even more dazed than before.

Of all the options he and Inaho had discussed… they had not come close to guessing Klancain and this… impassioned soliloquy.

If Slaine hadn’t gotten used to the emotional whiplash Inaho sometimes made him go through, he might have faltered now. Instead he manages to keep his inner bewilderment from showing on his face, even if he wants nothing more than to stare blankly at the unexpected turn of events.

Focus, he tells himself. There are two options here.

Option one, this is a masterful ploy by Klancain to dig out dissidents. He has even revealed his own hand —his allegedly true feelings— without first checking Slaine’s. If Slaine still had any loyalty towards the Empress, Klancain had just ensured that Slaine would say he too hated her, no matter his true feelings. The smart move would have been to show his hand only after Slaine had picked a side.

However, his earlier points are solid. If he is trying to find enemies of the Crown, he is only undertaking risky moves that could backfire and has been creating issues where there had been none. Testing Slaine was also moot, as he isn’t getting out unless this group aids him. And furthermore, he is getting the Empress’ precious only sister involved, which she certainly wouldn’t like. Then again, Slaine himself had done things she was against for her sake.

Ultimately, he could not completely discard this option, but the plot was creating more conflict than there had been. There were better, more efficient ways to protect the Crown than this convoluted charade. So while this option is still somewhat viable, Slaine believes it’s not the reality.

That and Klancain’s acting during his endless speech about his true feelings had been too heartfelt, too passionate for something devised.

Not to mention, not long ago he and Inaho had already considered the strangeness of his actions when rescuing the Empress…

“But then Klancain interjected the conversation, still pretending to be nice to me, and shut the communications and continued on his course, claiming he had to obey her orders by continuing to do so.”

“You think she was taken to Mars unwillingly?”

“No. I’m sure the Empress was fine with it, be it because it was her own idea or one he planted in her head. What I mean is… Klancain never asked her if he could shut down communications with me, nor did he so much as ask her if she wished to change course when she was thinking of going back to me still. It was in Klancain’s best interest that we didn’t speak, and so he made decisions for the Empress, overstepping her authority, even if he did so in a way that didn’t bother her.” Having finished, Slaine looks at Inaho, clearly waiting for an opinion.

Inaho considers it. “I think your assumption is correct. If Klancain was only worried for Asseylum’s safety, he’d have kept the communication channels open so you two could speak at a distance. And if all he did was obey her... he’d have attempted to reason with her before deciding you two should cease conversations. So, Klancain isn’t as simple as he acts. That is expected. Though that doesn't determine what his goals are.”

Besides, the reason he had said all of it first before bothering to ask Slaine could easily be—

Slaine raises one eyebrow. Better to not pretend to be too stupid here, and make it seem like I’m also willing to reveal my true feelings . “We both know you wouldn’t have said any of that if you truly thought I still had an undying loyalty to her.”

Simply put, Klancain had already come to the conclusion no one in Slaine’s situation could still possibly feel love for Asseylum.

And Slaine hates that he can’t even tell if Klancain’s assessment is correct or not.

Klancain smiles back. “Perhaps, but I think I’d like to hear your thoughts.”

Does he think he’s that good at reading people? Maybe I should tone down my hatred despite what I agreed to with Inaho. “Honestly, I don’t even like thinking about her.” Yes, better to say the truth mixed with a few lies to make it easier to believe. “It depresses me too much. But, am I happy?” He laughs dryly and flicks his hand towards Klancain, so that the thin, fading scar on his wrist is within sight. “I’m not sure how much information you’ve received, but I assume they told you about my attempt?”

“I was informed, yes. Although, you could have succeeded then, if you wanted.”

“Yes, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to die. That is, I didn’t want to give people the relief of getting rid of me without dirtying their hands. If they want me dead, they should stop doing half measures. I won’t give anyone the satisfaction of helping it along. Anyway, if it wasn’t clear before: no, I’m not happy. I’m miserable, I am—” He pauses. “I was alone. I’ll acknowledge I have you to thank for Harklight.” 

He wants to deflect, but he knows Klancain will notice if he doesn’t give a clear answer. “But to focus on the actual question... do I have some vindictive rage and want her gone? I don’t know if I would go that far, because I try to avoid thinking of her, my life is miserable enough without her in my head all the time. Do I still want to protect her, though?” He scoffs. “I think I’m done with that. It’s time to focus on myself. Although… actually, if you could avoid killing her, that would be better, for Lemrina’s sake.”

It’s not a lie, Slaine wouldn’t risk suggesting not to kill her with a false reason now.

Klancain raises an eyebrow. “Lemrina’s hatred for her is quite deep, why do you think sparing her would be for Lemrina’s sake?”

“Lemrina’s upbringing was just as miserable. While I believe her when she says she wants to help Vers, I believe her hatred of her sister is partially due to jealousy and not only because of her actions or inaction. If my assessment is correct, she might come to regret allowing for anything too drastic like murder happening to her sister in the long run. I doubt you want your next ruler feeling guilt, so you should avoid it.” Slaine shrugs, then realizes he should be smiling for his next line and manages a smirk. “And really, I find it quite appropriate if she’s spared but… locked up somewhere.”

“I understand your point, but so long as she lives—”

“People don’t need to know she lives on.”

“... Ah, you mean do to her as she did to you, in full.”

“We can call it mercy.”

Klancain drums his finger on the table and smiles at him. “Yes, it seems we are finally on the same page about something.”

“Oh? I assumed this was the one page we needed to agree on? I concur on taking the Empress out and putting Lemrina in her place. And even if I am not rooting for Vers specifically… I feel the same way towards terrans. Whoever gives me a better future has my obedience.”

“Well, that certainly covers the end goals quite nicely. However, we do have one more pressing matter: Inaho Kaizuka.”

Slaine makes a show of rolling his eyes and leaning back on his chair, arms crossed. “It would be nice if something in my life did not involve him, for once. But yes, there is no escaping him when it comes to any plans for my future.”

“I’ve told you my feelings in good faith already, even before checking yours. So perhaps it’s your turn to start?”

“There’s nothing fair between you and me so long as I’m locked away here. But fine, where shall I start? No, don’t answer, it was a stupid question, I’ll say it myself.”

Careful now . “I initially assumed keeping Inaho Kaizuka as my jailor was done as an extra slight to me and more punishment. I still do think this was partially the reasoning. And for a long time I couldn’t tell what was worse; the terrible isolation or being forced to interact with him. As if he was here to rub salt into my wounds and remind me he won in every possible way, even in Asseylum’s heart.”

“Past tense,” Klancain notes. Slaine nods.

“Yes, it soon became clear that Inaho forcing his presence onto me had little to do with him being petty and cruel and more to do with the fact that boy has some sort of emotional issue. He is like a machine: he can solve problems better than any but he is unable to emote properly. Simply put, the fool saw me as a lab rat and a curiosity and it never occurred to him that I might be bothered by his presence. Worse, and this is something I’ve noticed people around me can’t quite grasp, he is selfish. Extremely so.”

Klancain raises an eyebrow. “I understand why your feelings would be so negative towards him, but this is the terran who went out of his way to save his people and Asseylum—”

“See? Even you fell for it. Reflect a little. Saving his people and his planet is ultimately for his own selfish well-being. Do you see him taking martians as prisoners, or has he killed those off easily enough? The Empress was a friend to him, so he saved her because she personally mattered. If they had not bonded, he’d not have lifted a finger beyond what was useful for his own survival.” 

“Count Mazuurek.”

“He needed Count Mazuurek to run errands for him.”

“So he’s told you he purposely freed Count Mazuurek?”

“Yes,” Slaine adds an edge of disgust to his tone. “I think he was trying to show off or something, and it never occurred to him it just further vexed me to hear one of the other Counts responsible for the Empress getting away from me was there because of him.”

“Ha, true. I suppose I can see why you’d call him selfish. I have certainly heard similar accounts of him being like a machine from certain UFE officials.”

And it’s not entirely wrong. Inaho can be, and is, selfish, but he is also kind. The issue is that his kind nature takes second place to protecting those he holds dear, which is why he will kill and maim without hesitation when he deems you a threat. And worse, he truly isn’t the best when it comes to understanding others or freely showing emotions, which leads to accidentally hurting them without meaning to, and making him seem colder or more callous than he is. 

“Of course it does. So, he felt an interest in observing his one direct rival that survived, did it matter how I felt? Of course not.”

“And yet, eventually he did begin fighting to improve your conditions. Is that also selfishness?”

And here it comes. “Well now, yes. But… this will get tricky.”

“Oh?”

Slaine pinches the bridge of his nose as if frustrated. “In all honesty, I was hoping the topic wouldn’t come up because it’s a little ridiculous. I considered not telling you, but if someone else let’s it slip later and I didn’t, it wouldn’t look good for me. So, be warned this is not a joke.”

Klancain leans forward in curiosity. “By all means, tell me.”

“Kaizuka apparently believes he has developed feelings for me.”

“... That is quite… the interesting claim,” Klancain says slowly. Slaine expects him to laugh, but instead he easily nods without a hint of disbelief. “It would explain his turn, at least. However, you said ‘believes’?”

It should make Slaine relieved, yet he finds himself slightly irked at how easily Inaho’s friendship is mistaken for love. Focus, focus . “Yes. I don’t think he emotes like a normal person. I don’t think he is capable of love like a normal person would.” Slaine feels bad for saying such things, but Inaho agreed to this and it’s necessary to keep Inaho safe. “I think what he really feels is fascination. I’ve seen the people around him, they are in awe. Even the ones who don’t like him, glance at him as if he’s different. I treat him like trash. And even if I did eventually fail, I gave him quite the challenge during the war. I think he enjoys those; and watching someone so different from him and the people he surrounds himself with —all who are quite the vapid chorus, I might add—” I’m so, so sorry . “Had him focused too much on me, and as a result he thinks this must be love. I’ve met his sister. Have you? She is as shallow as the rest, and likely filled his head with ideals of finding a partner and such.”

Klancain chuckles, but surprises Slaine with his next words. “I can certainly understand where your sentiment comes from. However, I do think Inaho Kaizuka is capable of actual love. There are limits intelligence alone will not get anyone to go through. What he has done and fought against… he loves those around him, and he is capable of truly loving you.”

Slaine finds the blood rushing to his head at the way the sentence was worded. “I… that…” To his horror he’s so disconfitted he’s stammering, but thankfully, that doesn’t ruin their charade. Even so, he quickly composes himself. “Well, whether it’s fake or not, so long as he believes it is real, that is what matters.”

“True.”

“I’m not too sure about the exact details. Initially I think he was trying to recreate what Asseylum had on me, by helping me and thus trying to create feelings of being indebted to him, which might lead to love.”

“That wouldn’t be true love.”

“No, it wouldn’t. But it’s better than nothing. I realized what was going on and… well…” he feigns hesitation.

“Go on.”

Now Slaine crosses his arms tighter and grits his teeth. “Look, I won’t be judged for this, you got it? Self respect has never gotten me much of anything. So if my enemy and jailor starts improving my condition… well, naturally I tried giving him hope that maybe one day it would work. because if he didn’t even have hope, he might eventually give up on trying.”

“I am engaged to Asseylum, I most certainly understand.”

“Ha, I suppose you do. I didn’t go as far as you, I guess, since I haven't needed to. I haven’t acted like I love him, but I have claimed to see him as a friend. I’m good at ingratiating myself, I’m sure you recall Count Saazbaum.” 

That hurts to say, so he quickly moves on. “But I’ve also dropped hints that I can’t quite get over being jailed.” Slaine snorts. “You’d think that’d be a given , but it has to be spelled out for him. Anyway, thanks to that I think he is slowly mellowing out. That is to say, he doesn’t regret stopping me and all, but I see him slowly becoming guiltier that he hadn’t thought of a plan where I wasn’t jailed, so that I’d fall for him faster.”

“So the friendship I have heard about is fake on your end?”

Mix truth and lies. Slaine makes a show of hesitating. “I… wish I could say completely. But the truth of the matter is that I do appreciate it all, somewhat. He is the only person actively improving my situation. The thought of him maimed or dead throws me in a panic; no one would want to regress to the conditions I used to be imprisoned in.”

“So, what you are saying is that you look kindly to Inaho Kaizuka now, because of what he does for you. But if you were to be set free…?”

Almost there... “Are you worried I will want to kill him when I’m free? Don’t be foolish, I would keep up a relationship where he’s still useful to me.”

“What makes you assume I want you to keep him alive? Wouldn’t it be in my best interest to have you backstab him?”

Finally. “Don’t take me for a fool now . If you saw him as a threat, you’d neutralize him before trying to usurp the throne. But it seems you’ve decided he’s too useful to be thrown out. And if he suits your plan now, I don’t see why you wouldn’t use him after, when the planets are back in turmoil over a coup.”

“Well now, he is only a merit to my plan if I can use him.”

“And that is why you’re here. It’s not enough to have me onboard, is it? In fact, given my present situation, there was little doubt that I would agree to work with you. No, you didn’t come here just to test me, you came to see my verdict on whether he can become an asset on your— our side.”

“...Then tell me, why are you so sure he will agree to be used? Just because he is in love with you?”

You’re asking because you want to be convinced you can use him. Check . “Oh no, but those feelings do help. Let’s see,” Slaine raises four fingers and begins lowering them as he explains. “One, it’s clear he did not agree with Her Highness after her ascension to begin with.”

“Hm, I always did wonder about that. Do you know why?”

“He said he didn't agree with how she did things. He isn’t naive like her, so I think he knew her peace was only temporary and wouldn’t truly end the conflicts in the long run. Why he didn’t feel the need to stay by her side to compound this though... Well, I initially thought he was tired from fighting, but now I see it was more likely him acknowledging that with his injuries he needed to heal first. And when he did heal he was too interested in studying me to go back.”

“Ah, and then he fell in love and returning to Asseylum was no longer in his interest. You changed your mind about him not being willing to fight, is there a reason?”

Slaine pushes another finger down. “Reason number two: Inaho thrives on war. He isn’t good at emoting or regular social interactions, his passion and interests lie in planning, which he can only do with war on the horizon, or political upheaval. I’m sure you’re aware he had a great hand in the plan to sucessfuly infiltrate and murder Count Mikael.”

Klancain nods.

“Therefore, he will enjoy another chance to shine and use his intelligence. If not so, why the hurry in going back to rehabilitation? He doesn’t want to be used by the UFE, even during the war the Deucalion barely followed it’s lead, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want some chance to test his skills again.

“Reason number three: protection of family and friends. Now, ordinarily anyone would think that no matter what, Inaho would not want more fighting, for the sake of protecting his friends and family. However, the UFE has effectively nullified that by forcing the Deucalion crew to take action against the martians. Not only is this dangerous if the plot goes awry, they’ll have a large target on their back if the UFE’s plot is discovered and there is the chance the UFE will kill them when they outlive their usefulness to keep this a secret. Therefore, if he can make a name for himself and them while aiding a throne change, he might give them added protection.”

Checkmate , Slaine thinks, noticing the small changes in Klancain’s body language. He’s convinced now. By the end of my speech he won’t have any serious doubts left.

“And reason number four: yes, his feelings for me. If he had any reason to not want her harmed, his guilt towards me ends that. If he had any reason to feel I might be a threat to him set free, his feelings ended that. For himself, for his family or for me; Inaho has sufficient reasons to go along with your plan. So long as, of course, you can convince him it’s safe to bet on.”

“You’ve done an amazing job of selling to me why I can use him. But tell me, why do you go to such lengths for him?”

“Obviously, because I can’t risk getting him killed. If you do, then I lose my most trusted source of comfort in this place. Oh, Harklight and Lemrina are much better company, but they don’t have the power he has to get orders seen to around here.”

“Naturally. But after we succeed?”

“Well, as for that… while I certainly don’t think you’d be foolish enough to try and claim I mysteriously died, as I don’t think that would be believable twice, you could still try to place false charges on me, force me into a ridiculous trial to condemn and neutralize me. But if Inaho is useful to you, you would not want to upset him, so my safety is guaranteed for a while longer.”

“I understand your logic, though I am hurt you think I’d do that. I don’t plan to place Lemrina based on lies I cannot afford for you to disperse. Nor do I think you would do so, given you are fond of her.”

“Pardon me for being wary, but after your precious fiancée put me here, my trust in people has... ah… been completely destroyed. If even she can do something like this to me, what would stop you ?”

“That is simple enough to answer. Firstly, Asseylum does as she will, whereas I recognize the importance of not simply acting out based on my feelings. Not only that, but I do not hold some deep seated bitterness towards you, I am perfectly capable of choosing the path of allowing people to live. Besides, think about it, have I ever murdered anyone, ever? You can ask Harklight to confirm that fact. I may plot and plot, but at no point have I ever done so.”

You haven’t needed to, or had the power to. And that you can put feelings aside just means you might like a person and still cast them away if needs be.

“... I suppose…” Slaine says in a begrudging voice.

“I hope you take that to heart. Now—”

Beep. A shrill sound comes from the direction of Klancain’s wrist. He pulls back his long sleeve to expose a wristwatch-like device, beeping and glowing rhythmically.

Klancain shuts it down with a sigh. “That is unfortunate. I wanted to cover some of my current plan outline with you, as reassurance, but we seem to be out of time. Still, I do think we were able to cover the essentials of this deal. You now know who I am, and what my motive and goals are, and I have gotten a glimpse of you, as well as Inaho Kaizuka. Thank you for the most enlightening conversation.”

His manner of speech is slightly affected, yet Slaine thinks he is not, in fact, lying. “And I suppose, thank you for making a plan that involves getting me out of here.”

“Not at all, that is all on you.”

“Hm?”

“There are many slighted by the current regime that I could use as a banner of injustice to be set right. It’s not that you are the one that suffered the most; it’s just that you are the one with the most charisma. Terran you may be, but you have left an impression on martians hearts. And I confirmed with this talk that you still have the intelligence and charm that I may need to pull the martians into working together, if needs be.”

Slaine is surprised; again it doesn’t seem like Klancain is lying, but could the man truly think that highly of Slaine? Maybe he was better at lying than Slaine has been assuming.

Klancain moves towards the exit, but pauses at the door, turning back to face Slaine.

“Oh yes, three more things. I think I can afford to waste a minute on them. First, I’d be very grateful if you didn’t reveal my identity to Kaizuka yet, I’d like to have a genuine conversation with him, not muddied by previous knowledge and secondhand accounts.”

Meaning you want to ensure Inaho doesn’t have time to prepare or plan based on your identity. I suppose I have to agree, if I go against him in something so small any chance of being trusted will be lost. He shrugs nonchalantly. “Sure, that won’t be a problem.” Though it also means he isn’t planning on getting to Inaho anytime soon. Damn, the faster we could sit down and discuss this, the better.

Klancain smiles. “Much appreciated. Now, about my dear father... how did he die, and why? I am, naturally, assuming Count Saazbaum did the honors, but I’d like details, please.”

“... Yes, Count Saazbaum was the one. As for the details on how he did it, I’m afraid I don’t know, I wasn’t—” Conscious. “...around and never inquired about it. I assume he used his Dioscura. As for why, it seems it was because—” He said it was to save me, because of his debt to my father but — “Count Cruhteo was getting too close to realizing the murder attempt was a plot by a Count and not terrans.”

“I see. If Count Saazbaum ever receives a grave, I will be sure to visit it. I wish I’d been able to meet with him before you had him… removed.”

“What’s the third thing you wanted to say?” Slaine changes the subject harshly.

“Our little group has an internal motto now.”

“I thought that was ‘remove the current Royal in power’?”

“Haha, nothing so crude, or so blatantly bad if overheard. No, I wanted something meaningful, yet poetic. And something my crew could say to each other as a form of a password without being immediately caught as dissidents. But maybe I’ll leave Lemrina to tell you, she was integral to its conception, after all. I think you will like it. Now, until we meet again, Slaine Saazbaum Troyard.”

*

Harklight finds Slaine still sitting in his chair, head thrown back staring at the ceiling.

“Are you alright, si—Slaine?” he asks with immediate concern. “Klancain said the talk was… conducive.”

“I suppose it was,” Slaine says a little airily. “Although I don’t trust him as far as I can stab him.”

Harklight’s lips twitch. “Naturally. So?”

Slaine sighs. “Harklight, I always believed there was a certain type of people that were rare.”

“What type?”

“The highly intelligent sort that plots for years, maniacally doing so, almost. Yet I keep finding myself surrounded by them. There was Saazbaum, now there’s Klancain; and Inaho… clearly only hasn’t needed to do that yet.” He places his head in his hands. “It’s exhausting trying to even think of their next steps. Why do I keep meeting these people?”

Harklight bites his tongue to hold down his laughter. Maybe you’re their type . “Perhaps because you aren’t that dissimilar?”

Slaine looks at him as if he’d just been insulted. “Excuse me? I wish. No, I just work hard and struggle to get on the same footing.”

Says the man who carefully plotted behind Saazbaum’s back for years . However, in a way, Harklight understands. While Slaine is formidable as well, it was impossible to lump his personality with the likes of Inaho. The other two, however… Slaine is just like them. The way Saazbaum carried himself before shooting Asseylum, the way Klancain acts now… they give him the same air as Slaine did when Harklight was in his employ.

It’s why I decided Klancain’s ploy might be worth a try.

Perhaps it’s why Slaine could never truly love Saazbaum, and why he seems to have no love of Klancain now. They are too much like himself. Then again, both also had their own goals tragically interfere with Slaine’s. Maybe if they hadn’t…

“No, nevermind,” Slaine says, shaking out of his stupor. “I suppose it’s simply that that sort of person is the one who is more likely to survive a war and retain power. So long as I’m dealing so intrinsically with the fights, I’ll end up having to deal with these people. Except Inaho. That one I can’t seem to shake off, no matter what.”

You seem incapable of shaking off people that love you.

“More importantly… Harklight,” Slaine says, looking hesitant. “Did... did Klancain explain to you why he didn’t simply go along with my plan, instead of interfering with a martian takeover?”

“Yes. The few people all aware of who is backing us all have wondered the same, and he’s told us. I… admittedly, I lost my composure when I first saw him and nearly, ah, caused physical harm before he explained.”

“Oh, pity you didn’t get a punch in.”

“Yes, I regret my failed efforts. And even now, I am frustrated at how things went about. However… however I see the logic in his reasoning and think he is sincere.”

“... Possibly, or he’s a very good actor. But that’s not… Harklight, so you, and the others, know that although it looked like I was helping Vers... in the future, my actions, if they had succeeded…”

“We know it may have backfired at us in the distant future, as your goal really was just Asseylum. But, I realized that before you failed.”

“... What? I don’t understand. if you knew, why follow me? And if others know now, why do they still want me embroiled in this?”

“Because I lived my whole life in Vers hearing patriotic speeches that amounted to nothing; every martian in power claimed to want better, yet they couldn’t rise above infighting for power. You managed to show us unity was possible. More so, you owed us nothing, yet even your selfish ideas gave us more than any martian after the Emperor ever gave us. If afterwards we fell due to our own folly, our own blind faith or internal power struggles… that wouldn’t be on you. You would have given us the planet. What we did with it would be on us.”

Slaine is speechless, and Harklight finds himself saying something he never thought he’d dare.

“More than anyone, you should know the power and gratitude even half measured kindness and hope can have on those who had nothing.”

*

Klancain hums a tune under his breath in good humor as he is driven away from the prison cell.

The talk couldn’t have gone better, all things considered.

He had expected shock when he revealed himself, though Slaine’s distrust was understandable; some days, Klancain berated himself for choosing this path instead of allowing Slaine’s plot to run its course.

But Slaine was supposed to be good at reading people, so Klancain hopes the sincerity of his feelings were properly conveyed.

That said, even if Slaine believes his motivation, he will not trust so easily, but that is something Klancain accepts. If anything, a fool that blindly followed him would never have risen to where Slaine had before.

He had assumed Inaho Kaizuka had some fondness for Troyard already, considering the things he’d heard, but Troyard had confirmed it, even revealing a depth of feeling Klancain hadn’t considered. That and he had pointed out more reasons why Inaho would agree to follow his lead.

Yes, with this, he was certain he could strike a bargain with Kaizuka where both their needs were met.

He wishes he could now go see Kaizuka but... he’d need to wait a while, especially with Kaizuka in such a conspicuous UFE place such as his rehabilitation location. Besides, he has an old friend to see first.

*

“Dr. Yagarai, you called for me? They told me the weekly preliminary results were in.”

“Yes, they are, I thought you’d like to know—”

“I thought I had established this last week, but I’d rather wait for the full results, as it’s pointless to be led by half completed answers at the moment.”

Dr. Yagarai laughs nervously. Getting reused to Inaho’s way of speaking is still a challenge. “You did, yes, but nonetheless…”

“You have something else to tell me, and wanted an excuse to bring me to your office —which I assume you verified as a safe space— without causing suspicion.”

“Ah? Ah… I… amazing as usual, but please remember you shouldn’t be exerting effort—”

“This didn’t take any effort to conclude. I just considered your usual actions and places of choice for talking. And that normally you wouldn’t need to be reminded of a request of mine.”

Dr. Yagarai nods. “Yes, yes. Your deduction skills are working as usual. Which… I suppose, gives credence to what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“I’m listening.”

“Sit down. And yes, this conversation cannot leave this room.”

“Okay.”

He sighs. “In all honesty… I’m still hesitant to even propose this. But your results so far have been promising and I’ve been speaking to the others—”

“You mean the Captain and—”

“Yes. I’m not sure how to put this tactfully, and perhaps you would prefer I don’t.”

“True.”

“And I do think this is important, yet the whole point is to keep you from exerting yourself to recover and this will only add—”

“Doctor, you’re rambling, I doubt we have much time, if the excuse for me to be here is to go through the preliminary data.”

“... Indeed. Alright, and please, I need you to be truthful with me; whatever you say will not go on any record. You used the analytical machine again.”

“... Yes.”

“You did leave the UFE, but with their actions… the Captain thinks you might be planning to go back to taking action again.”

“That is a broad assumption, it would depend on what she defines as taking action, or—”

“You used the analytical machine. Do you plan on using it again?”

“... If it’s necessary.”

“Do you think it will be?”

“I don’t know. But with the actions of the UFE and other underlying issues I have been made aware of, the possibility isn’t small. Of course, I am considering only the most dire needs, as I’m aware I cannot use it without threatening my health.”

“If you could, would you find that you have a need for it?”

“I don’t like relying on hypothetical scenarios. But if I must... naturally I would; even the UFE’s current plots might have been less dangerous to my friends if I had had the power of that machine.”

“I see…”

“Are you saying you believe the treatment will leave me well enough to go back to using it without repercussions?”

“No. Or at least, not anywhere soon. Right now we can revert damage, but to fully heal you to the point of placing that back on your eye and use it as you did before we would need years.”

“Whatever comes, it will be before that.”

“Yes. And I hate to acknowledge it but, you are still the best we have. I wish I could tell you to rest and rely on the adults, but we’ve failed at that, again. And so, if you’re already risking yourself to this extent, all I can do is perhaps try and ensure the process isn’t as damaging.”

“By?”

“I’ve been studying in my spare time. I think… I think I might be able to use the theory behind treatment we place on you, to create a buffer from the side effects of the analytical machine. That is to say, create a trigger that will release the treatment substance as it’s being used. Meaning that the side effects won’t occur, as the treatment happens at the same time as the damage. Think of it as neural protection added directly to the machine, or perhaps added between your eye and it. However, this will likely not surprise you, but it relies on Vers technology. It’s, in fact, the reason why the UFE hasn’t gone forward with studies of this sort. It may need the power to use aldnoah, which no terran other than you has managed to grasp . Maybe this short explanation is a little too unbelievable—”

“No, I believe you.”

“Good. Now, obviously this isn’t a cure-all. There will be a limit to how much the protection can do; I believe it will be both a time limit and a power limit. Too much use, or overuse, and the protection will not be able to cover all the damage. And, naturally, once the protection is used to its limit, you’ll need to come back to me for me to replace it.”

“I understand, you won’t give me back the full use of the machine, only the possibility of using it in dire needs without risking my life.”

“Please understand, I’m not saying this is even fully possible yet, I still have to make sure. It’s all theoretical ideas for now. We have had to place a “protection” on other people, in other cases, but none are near your situation. So much so, I’m not even fully certain on how the protection would be added. Inside the machine would be ideal, but with its size possibly not likely, which means I’d have to add something to you—”

“I understand, and I’m willing to do it, if that is how it needs to be done.” Dr. Yagarai has been looking into curing my neural damage since the first signs of it occurred, this isn’t a new thing. If he is telling me now, it’s because only now he’s reached more than 95% certainty his idea will work. That, or he had already come to that conclusion a while ago but only now realized there is a need for its use . “And naturally, I understand the UFE must never know I can use the machine again, no matter how limited.”

“I don’t know if your ease in agreeing makes me feel better or worse for even suggesting this.”

“The fact that you have suggested this without being first completely certain it is possible means you need something from me.”

“Yes. To test the applications of my theory, I need the analytical machine. That is, of course, if you truly do want to walk down this path, if made possible?”

“It’s in a hidden pocket in my luggage. Call me back for the final weekly results tomorrow and I’ll bring it along.”

“Thank you. And, I’m sorry; I’m sorry this is the extent of my help.”

“If I didn’t want to interfere with current affairs, I can easily remove myself. You’re helping me make sure I’m safer in my choice for a future. Thank you.”

“Just, please, don’t make plans relying on it again. Consider it a last resort when all else fails.”

“Of course.”

*

“So this is your last visit before leaving?”

“Yes, I wanted to speak to you more, especially now that Klancain has revealed himself but…”

“Don’t be silly, your treatment is a priority, we can speak after.”

“Not just that, there is a meeting near where the Doctor is; if I go now, I might be able to go.”

“Smart. Are you going to take Inaho along?”

“... I don’t know. I don't think it’s wise, and Klancain will know if I do.”

“Good, think things through. I doubt Inaho would push for this, but since Klancain doesn’t even want him knowing his identity, keeping Inaho away from the meetings might be for the best. Even if most don’t know Klancain is behind it all.”

Lemrina scoffs. “If there is one thing I’m not in danger of, is listening to Kaizuka unnecessarily.”

Slaine laughs, then notices Lemrina seems to still be hesitant. “Is something else the matter?”

“Are you angry? That I kept his identity from you?”

“What? Of course not!”

“Really? Or are you just thinking that you don’t deserve to be angry?”

Slaine manages to stop himself from flinching. “Honestly, I’m not,” he says sincerely, “I would have never even considered his backstory if I hadn’t witnessed his fervor as he explained it to me. I’d have railed you and Harklight as blind to ever believe him. Now I can see why you both did.”

“I truly don’t think it’s a charade.”

“I am leaning towards that, but I’d rather be cautious, especially given so many lives are on the line. But Lemrina, more importantly, remember that even if he truly means to remove Asseylum, that doesn’t mean you can trust him.”

Lemrina nods. “It’s not just about removing her. It’s about giving martians a more stable future. And stopping the UFE. But yes, I understand. I’ll be careful and report to you, or even Kaizuka, about anything suspicious.”

Slaine nods, but then stops, an idea forming in his head. He stands up and goes to where his few possessions are stored, grabbing a box and bringing it to Lemrina.

“I know this isn’t much of a memento, but please take this with you.”

Slaine opens the box and takes out one of the chess pieces laying inside, offering it to Lemrina.

She blinks in confusion, but still accepts the piece from him. “Why this?”

“I think it represents you, right now.”

Ah. “Not the king?” She asks half jokingly, half gauging if she has understood his intentions.

“The game ends when the King is taken.”

“And that would be… Klancain.”

Slaine smiles at her. “Yes. Him, or Vers itself,” he says, and Lemrina can’t help feeling proud that she can now keep up with his way of thinking.

“I see,” Lemrina had little interest in chess, but seeing Inaho and Slaine play so much, she had sought to learn the rules at least. “I am a piece that can be thrown away without the game being lost. You’re telling me to be careful and not allow myself to overinflate my importance.”

“Not just that; the Queen has the most freedom of movement of any piece, even more so than the King.”

Now Lemrina feels herself losing sight of Slaine’s goal. “Do you mean, even if this conflict of power can be fought without me, because I have royal blood and thus aldnoah, I am more powerful than he is?”

“That is a minor part of it. To remove the current Empress without replacing her with you is to sacrifice all the power of aldnoah, and to fight her without you is to fight with the risk of losing even the power already granted. Not to mention, they may use you much like… much like Count Saazbaum and I did, to receive aldnoah rights for their own armaments.”

“Slaine, please,” Lemrina says, extending her free hand to hold his as soon as she sees his contrite expression. “I was never that naive. I agreed to be used. I was happy to be.”

Slaine shakes himself, focusing again. “But what I really mean to say with this, is that you have the greatest freedom. You can leave, you can run and you can hide. Few know your true identity, and you can disguise yourself perfectly with your powers. You could ask Rayet to help you leave, then hide out somewhere; no one will scour every wheelchair bound person on this planet for you. So you see, what you are doing is your choice. You are no longer locked away in the Moon Base. Remember that at any moment you can set yourself free. You cannot be found if you don’t want to. That is a gift and a power, don’t hesitate to use it just because it was given to you by blood, most of us wish our heritage could come half as useful.” Slaine ends it with a small smile, trying to lighten the mood.

Lemrina stares solemnly at the piece in her open palm, before curling her fingers tightly against it.

“No, I understand. I do.” She’d been a prisoner before, no choice but to follow what those in charge of her offered. And she sees herself in Slaine’s captivity now. “I know the power of free choice, I won’t make light of what I can do for myself. I will only be used if I find it acceptable, and not because I like an alternative.”

In a way, loath as she is to admit it even to herself, she is similar to Kaizuka now: they were both taken in because there is use for them, yet they both could have just as easily walked away. They are tied by their feelings to protect those they care for, but even so, that is more freedom than many can afford.

“Good,” Slaine says with relief, when it’s clear by Lemrina’s expression she has taken his advice to heart. “And speaking of aldnoah and heritage, I do have something I’d like you to tell Inaho about.”

“Oh? Yes?”

“I’m not sure how aware of things he is, but tell him of the former Emperor’s current situation.”

“That he abdicated and is now bedridden? Certainly, but why?”

“I think it’s important, and I’m not sure how much of it he is aware of. Remember, we don’t know how aldnoah works if the member of royalty who handed the rights dies. It may be what is keeping things in line for as long as they have: the fear by martians that if he dies, they will lose all power unless the Empress gives it back to them. However, if that is so, while the royal line’s importance increases with the martians, it will decrease with terrans. The UFE will want her removed before she can once again establish aldnoah power to Vers. If the Emperor dies and the power already given remains the same, the Empress loses her hold on the already established martian lords with aldnoah. Your standing also changes in either situation.”

“Do we really not know? That is, my dear sister was shot multiple times. Few people know that, but I assume Klancain has been made aware of that by now. Yet the Deucalion still works. That means whoever powered the Deucalion, and I assume that as usual it was Kaizuka—”

Despite it all, she pauses to see if Slaine will still remain bothered by the knowledge that Asseylum gave him that. 

She expects to not react, yet to her dismay a fleeting expression of discomfort crossed his face.

Surely not, how can he still be so obsessed with her? And he never really loved her romantically so it shouldn’t bother him unless he still saw Kaizuka as a rival, which he surely doesn’t—

Or is he bothered due to feelings for Kaizuka?

Lemrina pushes the thought from her mind; it’s not the time for that, and she might be finding her judgment impaired by knowledge of Kaizuka’s feelings.

“Even if the Deucalion is powered by Inaho and not her, the fact remains that she was never pronounced dead.” Slaine says. “She nearly bled dry but her heart never stopped.”

“... Slaine . ”

“What is it?”

“Rayet said she tried to kill Asseylum before.”

Slaine shakes his head. “Do you mean the murder attempt that began the war that didn’t even come near to harming the Empress?”

“No, Rayet only told me she tried personally killing her after that, too.”

“... Even so, again, if she was never pronounced dead it won’t do—” He stops, breath catching as a memory returns to him. “Except... maybe it does count.”

“How so?”

“Since you mentioned it I remembered it, but once Rayet did say in passing that she tried to strangle her. It’s been a while and I wasn’t focused on it, but I think she might have mentioned Inaho had to do CPR to revive her. If that’s true, then it’s possible she suffered cardiac arrest. In that case… we would then need for Inaho to have had powers granted before it. It’s not just one but two hard to meet variables.”

“ Slaine .”

“Yes?”

“Have you forgotten? There is someone else: you .”

Slaine inhales sharply. “That’s right, I used to have aldnoah granted by her initially. Ha, it’s been so long I forgot .”

Pitying him, Lemrina tries to focus on the subject again. “That decreases what we’d need to confirm.”

“Yes. Nonetheless, the chances that Rayet managed to nearly kill her in a way to have her considered dead even for a second are slim to none, so expect disappointment.”

“If Kaizuka had to give her CPR, the chances are high. We’ll see. Naturally, you don’t need to tell me that this must be kept between us.”

“Obviously. I was thinking of asking Rayet myself. She’s just come back right? This way I don’t need to wait for you two to come back, but maybe it would not be prudent...” He doesn’t mean it; at this juncture Rayet knows too much and this is hardly changing anything. No, he simply wants Lemrina’s reaction.

She looks momentarily affronted at the suggestion. “I think you can trust her. We’ve told her so much, what is one more thing?”

“True.” 

They hear footsteps in the distance. Soon, Harklight appears and politely knocks on the cell door.

Lemrina sighs. “Our time is almost up. I will keep what you said in mind, don’t worry.”

“It’s hard to. Ah, one more thing, a curiosity, really.”

“Yes?”

“Klancain mentioned a motto you helped coin?”

Lemrina looks flustered but pleased. “Well, I suppose you could say so.” She twirls around a strand of hair with her finger. “We were discussing using a sentence to not only help identify ourselves, like a password, but also remind us of our motivation, without giving us away. Others presented some very good ideas, and I simply searched and found an old phrase in a language called Latin we could translate and use.”

Slaine beams. “A good idea, using already established old phrases gives it a certain heavier feeling.”

“Yes, precisely!”

“So, what is it?”

She tells him, and it takes Slaine’s every inch of his willpower to keep smiling until she is out of sight.

Even with her gone, he can still feel his hair standing on end. He feels pulled back to the day he watched footage of the car that supposedly had Asseylum in it blowing up.

A heavy feeling. Either this planetary war and hurt would finally end this time… or the bloodshed would once again commence.

“It’s... Let Justice Be Done, Though the Heavens Fall .”

-

-

-

-

Notes:

1) On how aldnoah access is granted: I rewatched episode 14 to recall how Lemrina taking and then giving aldnoah to Slaine went down, and noticed an issue I hadn’t realized when originally airing. the sequence of events are: Lemrina turns the aldnoah drive of the Tharsis offline > Slaine asks for it back > She kisses Slaine. This made me question why is it that turning it off on the Tharsis meant Slaine could not simply turn the aldnoah back on without her.<br /> My initial hypothesis is that the royal family can limit who can turn on the aldnoah drive. This hypothesis means that when Asseylum was charged with removing the aldnoah drive from the Landing Castle (s1), she could do it permanently and it wasn’t a simple fix it.

That said, winterwizard over at tumblr has pointed out another possibility that may be more plausible all things considered: that aldnoah access granted through saliva is “weaker” than that by blood. So whereas by blood you now have unlimited access, by saliva you only have a one time deal to start the aldnoah drive of one thing only. By this logic, when Lemrina turned off the Tharsis, Slaine had used up his only chance so had to ask her again. I am still on the fence: Slaine asks her to put the Tharsis back on, not give him more access, though that could be from a lack of understanding details? But mainly, I admit I despise this because it means yet again the narrative has shafted Slaine over Inaho, rather than create a point of mirroring them: if this is the correct hypothesis, Slaine only had aldnoah for one instance alone and no longer has any, while Inaho has now unlimited aldnoah access. Before, I was under the wonderful assumption Slaine and Inaho had equal aldnoah access, one granted by being saved by Asseylum while the other by saving her.<br /> Obviously, if it is the most plausible possibility, I will redo my thoughts to accommodate the fact that Slaine does not have aldnoah anymore. Thankfully nothing done in the fic so far has contradicted this possibility anyway.

But I’m curious about what you readers think, or even if someone is aware of canon confirmation over the explanation.

2) Rayet tells Slaine about the CPR in passing in chapter 6. I believe in my previous notes I was unsure of the answer, but having gone back to check I can now be certain: Slaine did retain aldnoah powers given by Asseylum after she suffered cardiac arrest. Meaning that yes, even if the Emperor dies, no Martian will lose already bestowed upon aldnoah access.

3) Klancain: finally. This explanation was planned since I put him in the fic, since this was my idea as to why he would want to take out Asseylum now despite, you know, being literally the one to help her escape Slaine in the first place. Hopefully I’ve managed to make it convincing. Same with the father: not even a mention of him until the last 3 episodes of the second season? No I don't think there was a strong family bond going on there.

4) Let Justice Be Done, Though the Heavens Fall. Sadly this might have had more power if I’d remained posting chapters in a timely manner. In case anyone forgot, this was basically the “catchphrase” of AZ. It appeared onscreen at the end of the OP on s1, in fact. An ironic thing for the anime to say, given S1 was all about survival, greed and revenge, and s2 ends with no justice at all, just a “and then everyone set aside their issues and were happy”, which is far from the justice at any cost suggested by the sentence.

5) My beta would like it known that each and every single colon ( : ) used was expressly placed against her will. If you too dislike colons in dialogue and thoughts, thank her for eliminating 3/4 of the planned colons.

#aldnoah.zero #aldnoah zero #orangebat #inasure #inaho kaizuka #slaine troyard #az fic: in carcere #my fic

[cat-x-riceball]

I love all the fruits basket pairings. I want to give my thoughts on every couple and how well they compliment each other. There's obviously going to be manga spoilers.

Let's start with my favourite couple. I do like all of them, though. These are not my rankings.

Kyo & Tohru: They are just meant to be. As everyone frequently says, Tohru is good for anyone. Because Tohru is just wife material - she knows cooking, likes household chores, isn't selfish and self-centered, cherishes and genuinely cares about the people around her, and extremely loyal to the one person she loves. Whereas, Kyo is the one most suited to her. While everyone, including Kyo, got help from Tohru, Kyo was the one who was by her side whenever she needed someone the most. He helped her get over the facts with her dad and made her realize that her dad wasn't the villain. Despite knowing he would turn into a cat, he hugged her, wrapped up in blankets. Oh boy, that was hot. Not only that, they both emotionally support each other. Their characters might be different but they have a lot similarities, and persons like them would probably get along really well in real life. They do domestic work together. They are both morning persons. They both can cook. They are good listeners. They get flustered a lot and are shy. Oh, my gosh! I really need to stop ranting. I will keep on going about Kyoru. So guys, all in all, Kyoru is a perfect couple.

Haru & Rin: The iconic gothic couple. Gosh, their dressing style is fab. I read somewhere in the extra of the author of furuba that Hatsuharu picked up these kind of fashion sense from Rin, before that he used to dress up like Kyo - like wear hoodies, t-shirts and sneakers. That's how much Rin influenced him. On the other hand, Rin started liking accessories made by Haru. I love their influence on each other. Plus, Rin and Haru would do anything for each other. Haru is a natural kind and gentle person, except when he goes Black. Whereas, Rin has a very sharp tongue, but still cares about Haru the most. Rin is probably the best to keep Haru in check since he is a space cadet, god knows what he thinks all the time. On the contrary, Haru is the best to be by Rin's side. As everyone Rin had in her life thought of her as a burden, Haru genuinely cares about her and is stubborn to not her go - that is the exact thing Rin needed. Not to mention, Haru is the type to donate everything to others and Rin is the type to not share anything. Therefore, they balance each other out perfectly.

Yuki & Machi: A messy, sweet couple. They are both so unhygienic, it's hilarious. They compliment each other perfectly. One has a sassy mouth, and another has a sharp tongue. God bless their child! Their understanding is very cool, too. Machi is one of those very few people who saw through Yuki - his loneliness and insecurities. We can see in chapter 136 that Machi is someone who gets insecure with her boyfriend but doesn't try to show it, which is very normal. I mean, if my boyfriend was that good-looking and charming, I probably would handcuff him with myself. On the other hand, the way Yuki expresses his love for Machi is so adorable. When he broke that perfect box of chalk for Machi, I was triumphed with delight. Not to mention, Mogeta is a bridge between their love. I love these two together.

Hiro & Kisa: Young love is beautiful - as long as Akito doesn't interfere. Hiro is a complete jerk, no arguments about that. But I love his personality completely flips when Kisa is there. I laughed my head off in the scene where Momiji texted Hiro for coming to the summer getaway and Hiro was bad-mouthing it, but as soon as Kisa said she wanted to go, he agreed almost immediately. Kisa is a sweet angel; she needs someone like Hiro who would fulfill her needs without getting bothered about it. As we have seen, Hiro is very caring for those he loves - his little sister, mom and Rin. Although, Hiro and Kisa might have some fights occasionally since Hiro has a trash mouth, he crosses the line sometimes. But in the end, they both will apologize for the mistakes and solve it.

Hatori & Mayu: Spring comes when snow melts. Kana is definitely someone who Hatori will never forget, neither will he replace her with Mayu. Mayu has created her own special place in his heart, she warmed his frozen heart once again in her own way. At first, I just wanted someone to love Hatori, no matter who it was - because that guy deserves all the love in the world. But Mayu is perfect for him. She can deal with almost any situation given that she is a high school teacher. Plus, she can understand people well as she deals with problematic children all the time - Kyo, Momiji and Haru. She definitely will understand Hatori and is qualified to be by his side. What to say about Hatori? He's already perfect. I'm glad that Mayu's unrequitable love become true and Hatori's empty heart was once again occupied.

Kureno & Arisa: Age is just a number. I admit their age gap is kinda weird, but its pretty common in the place I live in. I don't really mind as long as there is true love. They fell in love quiet earlier than others, it was fast-paced. It was a mutual love at first sight. Who doesn't love that? If I were to find any similarities between these two, I find nothing too spectacular - they are both dedicated people. Arisa is kinda rowdy, not feminine. On the other hand, Kureno is calm, quiet and the type to go along with anything. Arisa doesn't put up with anything, and Kureno put up with Akito - the worse person to be with. I think their relationship would go really well because Kureno has handled Akito's temper-tantrums for years, so he definitely can deal with Arisa. Also, Arisa would go well with him since he is basically a Tohru to her. They have their dynamics, but in the end, love wins.

Ritsu & Mitchan: When you add two negatives, it becomes positive. Both of them were pretty down towards themselves and were prone to commit suicide. But now having each other in their lives, I'm pretty sure, the thought of dying rarely crosses their minds. As Tohru said, the world doesn't need anybody, it's the people who need each other. They both give reasons to each other to live, that's why they are well-suited. Ritsu and Mitchan are both chaotic, it's ridiculous to watch their panicked reaction in sync. They are pretty shy as well. It's pretty cute. We didn't get to see much of them in the manga and anime so far, I hope we learn how their relationship went. I'm sure they will grow to be more confident.

Shigure & Akito: Jealousy is both love and hate at the same time - that's the exact case with these two. They both hated each other for jealousy because they loved each other - also called complicated relationship problem. I think the method Shigure used to get Akito back was pretty harsh and vengeful, but it serves Akito right for treating the other zodiacs so horribly like they were toys. The thing that bothers me most is - Shigure loved Akito even before seeing her. Its pretty messed up if you ask me. But I'm glad, at the end of the series, they both solved their issues and became dedicated to each other, instead of playing around. But Shigure, you seriously need to stop flirting with other females, otherwise I won't be surprised if Akito divorces you or pushes you off the second floor.

Ayame & Mine: The nonsensical duo. Someone who can handle Ayame is god-tier, trust me. As we all know, Ayame lives in his own little, fantasy world. I'm very curious to know - how did someone like Ayame fell in love? How did he even notice Mine when all he looks at is himself? We will never know. But as long as there is someone out there who can love him, it's all fine. Mine is pretty level-headed and just as crazy as him. She can go along with his crazy, nonsensical ideas. Plus, they are both into creating things. What could be better than having the same interests as your partner? You will never lack a topic to talk about. And it seems Ayame is pretty understanding of Mine. Not to mention, when Ayame told Mine that he was born into this world to love her, I screamed with tears rolling down my eyes - that chapter was emotional as fuck, alright? All in all, I love these crazy duo.

Kazuma & Hanajima: I can't imagine this ship sailing. I love them both individually. I do not ship them. I can't picture Hana-chan as Kyo's mother when Kyo is probably older than her - although it would be hilarious to see them as mother-son duo. If you connect the dots, Tohru would be her daughter-in-law. Hanajima would be triumphed about that. We still don't know how Shisho feels about it. He probably would never marry, considering that might hurt Kyo's fragile heart or so he thinks. But who knows? I love them both as individuals. Hana-chan is gothic fab, and Kazuma is the best fucking dad in the whole series. But if the author wants them together, I won't actually hate it. It's okay, I suppose. As you all know, age is just a number and jail is just a room.

That's it for all the ships. Have I missed any? Do tell me.

I feel bad for Momiji and Kagura. We didn't get to know about their respective partners in the original manga. That's what happens when you fall in love with the main two protagonist 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don't really care much about Kagura because I know she will found someone suitable - I do pity that guy. He would get beaten to death everyday like Kyo.

Momiji needs to find someone who will appreciate his angelic heart and treasure him. I hope he finds someone even better than Tohru - someone better than Tohru might be impossible as she is one of a kind - at least, someone who loves him truly.

#kyoru #haru x rin #kyo x tohru #yuki x machi #kureno x arisa #akito x shigure #Hiro x kisa #ayame x mine #hatori x Mayu #ritsu x Mitchan #kyo sohma #Tohru honda #yuki sohma #machi kuragi #shigure sohna #hatori sohma #ayame sohma #akito sohma #hatsuharu sohma #isuzu sohma #arisa uotani #saki hanajima #kazuma sohma #momiji sohma #kagura sohma #kureno sohma #fruits basket ships #fruits basket #furuba #fruits basket manga spoilers

[lightningmastertrilogy]

Path Of Lightning: Origins chapter 11: We all have scars

Summary: Liz feels off, and doesn’t understand why, but she knows it has to do with the  rain.

Word count: 1.6k words.

Read chapter on wattpad.

Chapter:

Liz was sitting in Aiko's office as the latter did some tests. She could hear the rain outside, and she couldn't help but feel bitter.

The pitter pattering of the rain always brought an unpleasant feeling. A feeling of loneliness, and sadness. She never truly understood why.

Aiko noticed.

"Stop being so grumpy, that won't help hide those veins." Aiko scolded her. "Apparently your demon energy depends on your emotions just like Penergy. So relax!"

"It's raining." Liz said and sank into her chair. "I hate rain."

Aiko sighed, knowing that she couldn't reason with her. She showed her a familiar device. She figured that Liz was connected to it. "Do you know what this is?"

"That's..." Liz's eyes widened as she looked at the device the illusionist used months ago. This device was the reason she found out her true nature. "How did you get that?"

"That doesn't matter, what matters is that the blood right here is yours." Aiko said.

"So what's your point?"

"I guess I'm asking for permission." The teacher said and crossed her arms as she rested her back on the wall. "I wanted to use your blood to find a way to make some kind of medicine or even provide others with a way of healing. So now that I know whose blood it is, I'd like your permission."

"Most people would use that blood to gain demonic powers, not to heal others." Liz commented, remembering once again her encounter with the illusionist.

"I'm not interested in those powers. I don't need them." Aiko said with a serious expression that was rare to see on her. "I am a genius. I've been one ever since I was born. I thought that with my knowledge of energy I could do anything. That was until my mother died. This is the least I can do to make up for being so helpless."

Liz was at loss, since this was the first time she heard her talk about her family or act seriously. While her expression or tone didn't say much, Liz couldn't help but wonder. Did Aiko feel guilty over her mother's death?

The blonde found herself relating to her a bit, because she lost a parent too. Jack was the father she never had.

"So?!" Aiko's malicious smile came back to her as fast as it left, completely changing the mood and surprising the blonde. "Am I allowed to use it?"

Liz felt a chill going down her spine. Something told her that she wouldn't accept no as an answer. "Sure, whatever. Can I leave now?"

"You're delusional. No one ever left this room alive."

"Huh?!"

"Joking." Aiko laughed and pushed her outside. "Have a nice day!"

Liz rolled her eyes and headed to the cafeteria. She couldn't have a nice day as long as it rained. She took a seat next to Yuki who was staring blankly at nothing. She rested her head on the table and let out a heavy sigh.

Can this day be over already?

"What's up?" He asked, still clearly distracted.

"I hate my life right now." She said. "You?"

"I'm in love." He said.

"Love is mean and cruel. Only fools fall in love. Your life officially sucks." She said in a monotone voice, while the boy turned to her offended.

"Hey! That's not how you reassure someone!" Yuki said with a frown.

"Life is cruel. Deal with it." Liz answered. This really wasn't her day.

"Wow, that's cold." Yuki muttered and rested his face on his palm.

"That's ironic, coming from an Ice user." A third voice joined the conversation.

"Ah! Miss Nosaru!" Yuki exclaimed, feeling a bit embarrassed. "I did not know you were here!"

"What's up with the 'miss'?" Liz asked him.

"Don't you know that she is a member of Aether's leading family?!" Yuki whispered. "Show some respect!"

The blonde raised an eyebrow, before resting her head again and raising her hand lazily in a saluting manner. "Yo, Nosaru..."

"What on earth is wrong with you?" Nosaru asked, curious by the lack of energy that her partner was showing.

She still wasn't fond of the whole 'partner' thing, but it was something she had no choice but to get used to.

And it was something that helped her notice how uncharacteristic the blonde's behavior was.

"It's raining..." Was the only answer she received. Nosaru looked at Yuki who shrugged in return.

"Apparently, she is traumatized from the rain." Yuki answered dryly. Not sure what to make of her behavior.

"It's just rain." The blue haired girl said. How can rain be traumatizing?

"It's not just rain. It makes me depressed, and I can't even fight in it..." Liz complained then sighed, already tired of the conversation. "Rain is evil."

"What are you? A cat?" Nosaru said and crossed her arms. It didn't take long for her partner's state to annoy her completely so she grabbed the blonde's arm and forced her to stand. "We're going outside."

"What?! No!" Liz complained and tried to escape the grip. "Yubi! Help me!"

"It's YUKI! Miss Nosaru don't you think you should..." He stopped when he received a murderous glare from the blue haired girl. He sat down and pretended he didn't know the blonde.

"You traitor!"

"Stop acting like a child." Nosaru said and pushed her outside.

"I officially hate you." Liz said and rubbed her arms trying to warm up under the rain. She was surprised when she saw a golden chain heading towards her. She blocked it with her scythe but the moment she did, the weapon almost fell off her hands, and she tried to catch it several times. "What was that for?!" She asked angrily, but her partner wasn't fazed.

"So, you're clumsy under than rain." Nosaru said then summoned a sword and attacked her. "What if you were in a fight and it started raining? You'd get yourself killed."

Liz summoned the same weapon and blocked the attack, but her stance wasn't as strong as usual. "I'll deal with something like that when it happens." She answered, struggling not to fall.

"I can't have a reckless partner." Nosaru said as she pushed her away. "If you don't face your fears, you'll never overcome them."

"That's easier said than done!" Liz complained, trying not to slip due to the wet ground. "What about you? Did you ever manage to overcome one of your fears?"

Nosaru's frowned and clashed their swords again almost making the blonde fall, thankfully, she grasped her hand and helped regain her balance. "This isn't about me."

Flashes of that day, of hidden faces, and a rainy funeral, made their way into her thoughts.

This wasn't about her, or her family.

"Of course." Liz scoffed, glaring at her.

Suddenly, A thunder stroke nearby and Nosaru was surprised when Liz's hands suddenly gripped into her arms and the blonde buried her head on her shoulder. She could tell that she was shaking out of fear, not cold.

"I need you to live." A soft and gentle voice played in the back of Liz's mind when she heard the thunder, and then she saw a smile, a warm yet sad smile. She could've sworn her heart stopped. She pulled away once it was over, and crossed her arms, looking away. She choose not to think about the voice.

"Are you okay?" Nosaru asked, a hint of hesitance showed in her voice.

"I've always hated rain." Liz confessed. "Lately, it's been worse. The leader of our group, was like a father to me. He passed away on a rainy day too. I guess what I'm trying to say is that every time it rains, I can't help but feel that a tragedy is near."

Nosaru looked at her almost uncertain before talking, but if she shared something like that with her, she needed to share something as well. "My mother was sick for a while. She had a rare disease and... passed away few years ago." She started, and the blonde looked at her in surprise and confusion. Nosaru made sure to avoid her gaze.

"My brother became an orphan at such a young age. Father became cold and distant, as if he blamed himself for not doing anything. Aiko was probably the one who suffered the most. She is still trying her best to keep this family from falling apart. The tragedy awakened my powers, and here I am. You're scared of the rain, and I'm scared of being left behind." She sighed. "You're right. I still haven't overcome my fears."

She confessed her weakness, she confessed the fact that she was still running away from the truth. Perhaps Liz was right, perhaps she needed to overcome her own weakness before telling others to do so.

Liz was taken by surprise by the vulnerability she saw in her partner's blue eyes. "Why are you telling me this? I mean this is something important to you."

"You told me something, so it was only fair for me to tell you. We both can relate to the loss of someone important." Nosaru explained. "And I admit you're easy to talk to." She admitted with shrugged. There was no pressure, no pity, no judging looks for her vulnerability. It was just a talk with two people who were more similar than they initially thought.

The moment was ruined when they both ended up sneezing. They looked at each other then started laughing at the ridiculous situation. Liz noticed that this was the first time she saw her partner laugh. It was soft and melodic, something so genuine coming from someone who obviously suffered so much.

Nosaru's laughter died, but a smile remained on her face. "You know, my sister will probably kill us." She said.

"I'm totally going to kill you." Came Aiko's voice from behind.

They both turned to her and looked at her with fear. Aiko ended up gripping their ears and dragging them inside.

#writeblr #writblr #creative writing #writing #writer #wip #chapter #writers on tumblr #writers of tumblr #ocs #my ocs #my writing #original characters #original fiction #original story #characters interactions #characters backstory #manga #anime #chapter update #writing update #work in progress #Path of lightning: Origins #P.O.L: Origins

[atopearth]

Steins;Gate 0 Part 5 - Mayuri Ending and True Ending + Overall Opinion

Mayuri Ending Hmmmm, so if you ignore Amadeus Kurisu’s call, Okabe and them waste too much time trying to explain everything to Maho, so they end up getting captured by the Rounders? I’m not really sure why the Rounders are still relevant right now to be after them, but I guess everyone just wants the time machine paper. The supposedly Stratfor guys coming to shoot off the Rounders and the laptop was very questionable though? Like, why? Hmm, I guess Okabe is right, better to destroy it than let others get their hands on it, but I feel like with how important it was, they still could have gotten it back considering their surprise attack and the manpower they had, but I guess they didn’t want to risk it? It was really sweet when Okabe stayed beside Maho when she was too scared to sleep by herself after experiencing all that, it’s cliche, but I thought it was really cute and heartfelt. I was pretty shocked when he was planning to tell Maho that he was the one who killed Kurisu, but I’m glad Maho stopped him since he was forcing himself so much. I don’t know why but I can’t skip those same events that happened in Leskinen’s ending part sighhhh, but anyway, aside from Maho cooperating with Daru and Suzuha on recreating/experimenting the time machine with their knowledge, and Maho coming to Japan (without getting brainwashed), nothing really different from the scenario before. Although, I really liked Faris’ suggestion of having Maho work at May Queen for rent instead of living at a business hotel hahaha.

I was pretty glad when Okabe found out the Daru was making the time machine, because it felt like they were finally confronting their problems. But I guess the highlight was Maho understanding that whether Okabe liked it or not, it was evident that despite what he said, he was less averted to stuff regarding time machines and Steins Gate etc now, he used to not be able to stomach it at all, but now he can talk about it. And honestly, you have to agree with Maho, that they’re similar, that despite wanting to give up many times and having given up before, they both are people that will persevere and keep trying. It’s hard, but that’s what people do to face themselves and the lives they want to live. My heart hurt for Mayuri when she heard them and realised that Kurisu was sacrificed for her, but I’m happy that she talked it out with Suzuha, who was able to tell her how much hope Mayuri gave her and Kagari in the future, and how much she believed in Okabe to change that future. It was nice to see Mayuri be able to pick herself up and want to fight for the one she loves too, knowing that she wants to try her best to bring her favourite Hououin Kyoma back was really heartwarming. Just as Okabe saved her in the past, she also wants to save him. Even if she knows that she can never be the one he loves (romantically), she will still do everything she can for him, and I think that’s wonderful.

Tbh, Yuki being Kagari (after plastic surgery) helped me confirm why whenever I heard Kagari talk, it sounded just like Yuki/Suzuha hahaha, so it wasn’t as shocking as it was supposed to be I guess. But it was pretty saddening to see Kagari brutally kill all those people and for Mayuri to not be able to comfort her in her last moments. The only solace I can think of is that, all this time that Yuki got to spend with Mayuri was probably enough for her though… In this sense, I guess it was nice to see in the other endings Kagari as Kagari herself. I guess I’m most shocked about this Yuki not actually being the mum they were hoping for all this time haha. Regardless though, she did seem to like Daru and I think that was pretty cute. I’m glad that Mayuri’s message to Okabe finally motivated him to time leap and change things since the war had started. Leskinen being the crazy doctor/professor that brainwashed Kagari ever since she was a kid in 2036 was hinted at already, so that wasn’t surprising even though it was saddening and uncomfortable to think about. But yeah Mayuri’s message really touched me, so I’m glad Okabe has finally understood her and everyone’s feelings and will try to fix things up again no matter what. It’s saddening that Kagari keeps dying, but it was nice to see Hououin Kyoma laugh at them all for being too late in trying to get the time machine. Just thinking about Mayuri going back to slap Okabe in the face makes me happy haha.

True Ending I have to admit that it was great to see the older Okabe do that message he sent to himself in the original game in order to save Kurisu without changing the events that “happened”. It was also pretty cute to see Maho sigh at how ridiculous she thought he was hahaahha. I also really liked it when Okabe said he was going to find his escaped hostage haha😊 It’s inevitable that Okabe should “die” in 2025, but that can also mean he “disappeared” from 2025 onwards, so seeing him climb into the time machine to go save the Suzuha and Mayuri who went to wake him up, give them the spare battery their machine needs and then come back to this timeline together, it was sweet. They’ll probably never see him again, but seeing him with such strength in his eyes is worth it imo. And it ends! Okay, time for the rant/mini review?

Overall Opinion

Honestly, I have mixed feelings towards Steins;Gate 0. Before I started it, I already read some reviews so I lowered my expectations because it’s pretty different from the original etc, but I think I was still disappointed LOL. The game depicts the journey of the Okabe who sent the message from the future telling Okabe in the true ending of the original game to deceive the world in order to be able to save Kurisu. At first, it was difficult to realise how all these endings tied into that concept because the game isn’t very linear. The game more or so follows the different world lines and potential endings for Okabe to kinda get through to I guess show how many times Okabe had to do all this in order to reach the world line where he would be able to help his past self. Quite frankly, I don’t think I enjoyed most of the endings haha… Some were good and nice, but others were just…tedious and haphazardly drawn out imo. If I could, I would suggest just doing the “main route” to the true ending, but the game doesn’t work that way, you’ll miss crucial information that ties things together, and you’ll miss all the background info to understand it, so I guess going through all those endings made me appreciate the end, however, it didn’t change the fact that going through all those endings were a chore. In that sense, it reminds me of OZMAFIA!! If you don’t know the otome game, you basically have to do all the routes before you get an explanation of the plot, story and everything basically. It ties together and makes things make much more sense so it’s good, but to this day, I’m still not sure if it was worth the 40 hours of different routes and endings to get to. That’s how mixed I feel towards 0. It’s relatively interesting, it has amusing plot points, and the slice of life was kinda fun, but it was way too draggy for my liking. 

When I played the original game, I enjoyed every bit of it, it never made me want to put it down and I was always engaged, and I really liked the characters. In this sequel, my favourite characters come back, but they’re pretty much a hollow shell of who they used to be, and there honestly wasn’t a moment in the game where I thought, I’d like to know where this will go now besides the ending. The new characters aren’t as interesting, well, Maho is all right, but she can’t carry the story with a depressed Okabe. I also found the flow of everything to be really…awkward? As you can see from my comments on the endings, I just found how everything occurred in each ending really sloppy, things aren’t built properly imo and it lacks the impact it could have created. Oh, and since Maho and Okabe are obsessed with Kurisu in their respective ways, the game kinda relies on you to understand and love Kurisu in the same way to really connect with them imo. Which isn’t bad I guess since most people do like Kurisu, and I do too, but yeah, I just felt like this game relied too much on the original game for you to like it. However, despite everything, I guess it is worth playing if you’re a fan of Steins;Gate, I mean, you might as well try it and see if it’s to your tastes hahaha. For me, it wasn’t and I definitely wouldn’t be interested in playing it again or watching the anime (especially when I thought the original Steins;Gate anime was tedious enough tbh lol). I was actually pretty glad when I was done LOL.

#steins;gate 0 #steinsgate 0

[putschki1969]

Hi Sarah! I was so glad to see Kyoichi’s nice post about Wakana & her album/tour. Thanks for sharing it. But why is that the only support her former partners have tweeted for Wakana? Compare that with the Keiko announcement. We saw immediate reactions from Kajiura, Hikaru, Kaori, etc. Why can’t they say 1 nice thing about Wakana instead of tweeting about boba or the weather? Wakana probably can’t talk about Yuki or Hikaru/Keiko because of Space Craft, but they don’t have that restriction. ??

Hi there!

Oh boy, I hope I don’t come off as too harsh but I feel strongly about the topic so please bear with me. I am sorry it took me so long to reply, I needed a while to gather my thoughts.Well, without further ado, let’s get going…

I would like to be honest with you, I do not really like the tone of this ask - simply because it sounds quite judgemental. It might not have been your intention but it’s this kind of mentality that causes unnecessary drama in the fandom. You are fabricating tension where there is none. By asking this question you are insinuating that Hikaru, Keiko and YK are not acting “appropriately”, you expect them to act a certain way and when they don’t you automatically come to the conclusion that there has been some sort of falling-out or that they have somehow turned against Wakana. It was the same when the “disbandment” was announced and everyone complained about Wakana not commenting on it. Suddenly it was Wakana who was the traitor that dared to stay with Space Craft.

All these made-up stories, all this negativity, it is so tiring and frankly, quite toxic. Do people not realise that this kind of thinking is borderline ridiculous? We are not in high school and this is not an episode of Days of our Lives, this is real life and we are talking about real people who are mature and who have been in the business for ages. Why is there such an unhealthy need for drama and conspiracy? Why are fans so keen to pick a certain side? Why are you so desperate to vilify one of them, why are you looking for someone to blame? Is it really so hard to imagine a scenario where everyone is more or less content with the current situation, where everyone is supportive of each other and no bad feelings are involved?

We only know what’s presented to us and that’s not a lot. We do not have any insight, we do not know what’s happening behind the scenes. But just because there is a lack of knowledge doesn’t mean we get a free pass at filling in the blanks with dramatic, tabloid-level stories. As little as we know we really aren’t qualified to judge their actions. You are talking about restrictions but truth is, we have no idea whether or not any of them are bound by some sort of restriction.The Japanese music industry (and Japanese society in general) comes with lots of complex politics and I am not even gonna pretend to have an understanding of them. What I am trying to say here is that there could be countless explanations for their actions. We do not know what motivates them to do or not do certain things but I am sure they have valid reasons. All we can do is trust them and try to respect their decisions.

And please, you have to be aware that just because something isn’t posted in public for everyone to see doesn’t mean that it is not happening. They can love each other, they can support each other, they can interact with each other BUT they are not obliged to make any of that public just to make fans feel better. And yes, there is no doubt that it feels amazing to see some proof of interaction. As fans we are craving for that sort of content. Just take one of Hikaru’s most recent tweet where she talks about meeting up with Keiko. This kind of tweet (as insignificant as it may seem to outsiders) means the world to us but we have to realise that it is a privilege, Hikaru is granting us insight but she doesn’t have to, it is not something we are owed.

I am just human and like many of you, I am a hardcore fan (probably more obsessed than the majority of the fandom XD) so at times I am guilty of being frustrated, of wanting more. But then I remind myself that I have no right to make any demands. Instead I focus on being grateful for what we have and I have faith that everything that’s happening is happening for a good reason. Just take Keiko’s disappearance for example. Yes, the year wasn’t exactly easy for me, I did miss her a lot but I had faith and as you can see now, having patience paid off. The majority of the fandom was constantly asking for updates, there wasn’t a week going by without anyone messaging me whether or not I knew anything about Keiko. Fans were needlessly making themselves sick with worry, they demanded explanations, they desperately wanted her to return and they certainly weren’t shy to voice these thoughts over and over again on every imaginable social media platform. Of course I understand these feelings to a certain extent but at some point it just becomes a bad case of fan entitlement. I could write an entire book about fan culture and how being a fan of something has become synonymous with wanting one’s own selfish needs to be met. It’s not about what your favourite creator, actor, artist, singer, idol, etc wants, it’s about what fans want. Maybe it has always been like that, I don’t know but the internet has certainly enabled people to be a lot more vocal about it. But let’s not dwell on that, this would go way beyond the scope of this little discussion here. I just wanted to illustrate that fans tend to be quite self centredand if things don’t go the way they want, they cause drama.

As for YK, Hikaru and lots of other people reacting to the announcement of Keiko’s comeback. I think you cannot really compare that to them not tweeting or otherwise posting about Wakana. Wakana hasn’t been gone for more than a year. I would say it’s quite a special thing for someone to return after such a long time. It’s no surprise people are more vocal about that.

Last but not least I would like to point out that YK has in fact voiced her full support of everything the girls want to do from now on (in her message posted on her page). She might not have mentioned Wakana by name but that doesn’t really matter.

Okay, that’s it…hope I made sense…

#Anonymous #kalafina #reply #wakana #keiko #hikaru #yuki kajiura #my ramblings

[petiteredlady]

Messiah review

@snow-okki I'm so sorry it's so late +_+ But here is what I remember about Tsukuyomi no Toki.

(Spoilers everywhere and long post.)

First Before I say anything about the play I'd like to take a moment to tell you about Murakami Kouhei. That man single-handedly saved Messiah and got nothing to show for it. (He's the one who replaced Tsune, who was arrested a week before the first Messiah show.) He said during the curtain call that he had three days to rehearse the role. Three days. And he was flawless. Honestly he was perfect. He played his character beautifully. But the lack of time means there are no visuals for him. No goodies, no page in the pamphlet. His name is only listed at the very end with every cast and staff member, so even the ensemble cast got more pamphlet space than he did^^'

New characters Since I'll be naming them several times, a reminder : - Honami Harei is the new god of Teru hi no mori, - Oikawa Subaru is a devout follower of the cult, - Sono Yukihito is more or less a leader of the cult, or at least a close attendant to Honami. (And just in case : the two young runaways from Yuukyuu are called Azuma Touya and Koboshi Tetsu.)

The story The main plot revolved around Teru hi no mori, and Mayo-sama and Yugi's relationship to them. (And to each other.) Itsuki's story was definitely linked to it, but while he was a central character he wasn't a main character. (I mean he was important but it was not his story.) We got to know a bit more about Kogure and Hinamori, but they were far from being the focus. Shikura and Amane n°2 were investigating Teru hi no mori, but we didn't see them a lot and they were on the political side of the story, which I understood less +_+ Kuroko and Ichijima contributed a bit to the plot but were mostly here as comic relief. (YES ICHIJIMA TOO) Oh yeah and Touya and Tetsu from Yuukyuu were there. Their story was part of Teru hi no mori's, but... they could as well not have been there. They had zero impact on anything.

The investigation of Teru hi no mori starts after seven high-ranking Japanese officials commit suicide one after the other. Since that's more than suspicious, Shikura suspects murder instead, and there seems to be a connection to Teru hi no mori. But before Sakura get on this case, they meet Teru hi no mori by chance while trailing people on the street. Yugi recognizes Oikawa, and notices that he and Mayo exchange words during their fight. That stresses and distracts him enough that Kuroko gets hurt and they have to retreat with Kogure and Hinamori's help.

Yugi confronts Mayo about his knowing Teru hi no mori, wondering if it's linked to Mayo wanting to die. "If it is will you kill me ?!" No he won't, because Yugi thinks of Mayo as his Messiah >o< So Mayo spills everything : he tells Yugi he was Teru hi's god, that he's the one who pushed Yugi away from the cult and ordered his death. Then he throws his gun to Yugi, who starts screaming, but when he shoots the scene becomes black.

At the same time, we see Itsuki finishing a mission, hurt and exhausted, realising what a trap having a Messiah is. No matter how awful he feels, he can't allow himself to die, because no one else can save Ariga. He gets contacted for a new mission right after that, but is quickly interrupted by a robed and masked individual introducing himself as Nightmare. He shows Itsuki a photo of Ariga being held captive, and offer to release him in exchange for Itsuki's cooperation. He accepts.

Then Itsuki arrives at the Church. Since Kuroko is injured and Ichijima hasn't gotten his "chief" status back, Itsuki is put in charge of the Teru hi no mori investigation. Obviously Yugi wants to infiltrate the cult, but Itsuki sends Hinamori instead. Kogure is to go to Shikura to conduct an investigation with Amane n°2. (Apparently the seven dead officials were investigating a big pharmaceutical group, so they're looking into that.) Itsuki wants Yugi to come with him to protect the Prime Minister, who's apprently in danger of being the eighth victim.

Itsuki also asks Yugi where Mayo is... and why Yugi has his gun. Yugi tries to argue it's his own, but Itsuki recognized Mayo's scent so he doesn't buy Yugi's bullshit XD So we see how the scene actually played out a while back: Yugi shot in the air, because despite what Mayo told him he doesn't want to kill his Messiah. Mayo accepts this decision, and says he's leaving the Church. Since he's dying anyway, he'd rather settle things with Teru hi no mori now that they made a move.

We briefly saw Teru hi no mori. They all had really cool white robes, and apparently the higher you are in the hierarchy, the fluffier your sleeves are XD Honami appeared before his followers, preaching that the world doesn't need "World Reforming" to be peaceful, it only needs to follow Teru hi and Honami's way. One follower, though, ran towards him with a knife crying that Honami was a false god. The man was taken down by none other that Tetsu, who has joined the cult. In the following scene we see a bit more of the main characters from the cult : Oikawa swears he's ready to die for Honami and is seriously his most hardcore follower ; Yukihito is the closest they have to a leader, giving orders and making sure Honami's are respected ; and Honami mostly wonders when he'll be able to see his "sun" again. (That would be Mayo.)

Back at the Church, Ichijima has decided he's going to be useful despite not being the leader, so... he becomes a Kuroko^^" Look complete with an apron and a bandana XD He calls Shikura to tell him one of his cadets is coming, but also mentions that Shikura should see him right now 8D Shikura just cuts the call, but when Kogure arrives, he asks what the deal is with Ichijima and regrets not being able to see him like that XD (But honestly it was ridiculous, because Ichijima kept the cane so he was sweeping one-handed...)

Amane n°2 infiltrates the pharmaceutical company while Kogure guides him. They're looking for documents and find them, but Kogure is also looking for something more personal, a reference he gives to Amane n°2. (And he got it wrong the first time so the file that came up was something like "How to cook omu-rice at home" XD) I didn't exactly understand what it was, but it had something to do with Kogure's missing memories. Maybe it's what Ichijima told him at the end of Yuukyuu ? Then the two have to run away because Amane n°2 gets found out.

Itsuki and Yugi meet with the Prime Minister's advisor, and that's when Nightmare reminds Itsuki of what he has to do. Itsuki simply warns Yugi to be ready, greets the advisor, and shoots him. While Yugi is freaking out, Itsuki takes a sample of blood and orders Yugi to take it back to Ichijima. Yugi ends up doing so while Itsuki gets arrested.

Ichijima does not even look surprised, hearing what happened. Rather, he's interested in what Yugi wants to do about Mayo. Yugi says there's nothing more to do, because Mayo is the one who threw him away and wanted him dead. "Is that what he told you ?" ... Then Yugi realise maybe not everything Mayo said was the truth, so he runs away to find his Messiah and get answers.

Meanwhile, Hinamori is infiltrating Teru hi no mori. He had been told he would be able to meet "someone he knew", and indeed the first person he sees is Yukihito. His former Messiah. There's a beautiful and emotional "Yuki...!" "Hina...?" and they fall into each other's arms. Then Yukihito reminds Hinamori that he abandonned him, grabs his gun and shoots him.

While Hinamori is bleeding out, Yukihito tells him he works for the Northern Alliance now, and even shares his codename. But before he can say anything else, basically everyone arrives : - Mayo who wants to protect Hinamori, - Yugi who's looking for Mayo, - Honami who doesn't want anyone to be killed, - Oikawa who's always ready to kill anyone, - and even Touya who's looking for Tetsu. (Sakura had declined his help so he's tagging along as best he can^^)

The huge fight scene was absolutely beautiful, everyone was amazing and moves flowed very naturally, that was amazing. But it doesn't end well for Sakura : - Mayo is still dying and can't do a lot, so Honami takes him away because he doesn't want to let anyone else have him, - Yugi can't follow because he has to protect Hinamori and get him away from here, - and Touya gets rejected by Tetsu who feels the cult is the only place he can be himself. (Plus Oikawa protects him, and Oikawa is probably the most vicious fighter in this stage play, so Touya has to back down.)

While all this chaos is occurring, Itsuki is being interrogated by Shikura. It's almost exactly the same scene Ariga had in Hagane : Itsuki is cuffed, on his knees, and Shikura resorts to screaming and face-grabbing. And yet he ends up trusting Itsuki's motives and frees him o.O

Back at the Church, everything is terrible : - with what Hinamori learned, everyone is now convinced Teru hi is working with the Northern Alliance, - Kogure and Amane n°2 have found out about a chemical nicknamed "Mikotonori" that, when injected in humans, allows them to be mind-controlled by others (which is what Teru hi uses), - they theorise that the pharmaceutical company was trying to find a countermeasure to Mikotonori, explaining why Teru hi was harassing them (that was an issue at some point), and that's what the seven dead officials had found out, - I am not sure what Kogure learned about himself but he's enraged at Ichijima for "doing that to him" and tries to attack him. Only Hinamori manages to calm him down. (Apparently it's like Kogure was engineered to become a perfect spy or something.) The only positive thing is that the blood sampled by Itsuki is revealed to have been contaminated with Mikonotonori, so he probably killed someone who was being controlled by Teru hi, so... he's still with the good guys ?

Itsuki has a scene where he confronts Nightmare, having understood who he is. "I believed you had kidnapped Ryou because you had his scent... But it's you, Ryou, isn't it ?" Nightmare then stops using his voice modulator and it's indeed Ariga. He asks for Itsuki's forgiveness, because at the moment he can't explain what he's doing. Then he leaves. Itsuki is frustrated, but he's clearly so happy to have seen his Messiah again >o<

Meanwhile, Mayo and Honami have their scene together. Mayo was clearly unhappy and sick the whole time, but Honami was so happy to have him again he just spent the time reminiscing about their childhood together. Since they're the only two left of a group of children that was groomed to become "gods" for Teru hi no mori. Despite Mayo having a weak body, he was the best candidate and he asks Honami if he resents him. Honami does not. He always thought of Mayo as the true sun of Teru hi, while Honami is a moon who needs Mayo to shine. That's why he wants Mayo to be their god again, because Honami himself is a fake sun. There's also a more sinister yet childishly innocent "I won't let anyone else have you", and Honami tells Mayo he was the one who ordered Yugi's family to kill him when Mayo tried to make him leave the cult. (And at some point we learn that Yukihito was behind Mayo's assassination attempt. Apparently because he could no longer control Mayo, who was starting to make his own decisions and taking initiative.)

We also see Oikawa and Yukihito planning their next step, which involve large-scale biological attacks all over the city. To do that, they're equipping their most loyal followers and the Mikotonori-brainwashed ones with bacterial bombs and sending them to strategic points.

I am not sure how everything got resolved : at some point, Shikura and Amane n°2 find the Prime Minister dead, the vice-minister taking over has allied himself with Teru hi, and takes Shikura prisoner while Amane n°2 manages to escape. (Still, I was impressed : Shikura really knows how to fight.) By putting together what he's learned and what Sakura know, they manage to understand what is going on : - what the seven officials had discovered was that Teru hi no mori and the pharmaceutical group were working together from the beginning, and that's why they had to die, - Teru hi's biological weapons are meant to force the whole population to get vaccines against whatever bacteria they're using, - the pharmaceutical company's vaccines actually contain Mikotonori. So that's how they plan on brainwashing the whole country. But they do need Honami or Mayo in order to succeed, because only these two can manipulate infected people.

When Itsuki explains that last point to Yugi, Yugi immediately says that if someone has to deal with Mayo, it will be him and no one else.

The first step for everyone is to try and stop the bombs from going off. That generally goes well, except for Touya who has a very rough time with Tetsu and ends up having to save him. (Poor Tetsu was starting to think that maybe the cult wasn't that great, but "everything for [his] god"...) Honestly these two were very cute and I can't dislike them, but they added absolutely nothing^^'

The next step, the much harder one, was to cross the sea of cultists to reach Honami and Mayo. (And possibly Yukihito, but he was conveniently absent most of the time.) First we see Kogure rush into the melee and fight extremely recklessly. He screams that he might as well risk his life fighting, since this is what he was made for. Since he's just a tool, no one will be sad if he dies. That is finally the one thing that makes Hinamori angry. He grabs Kogure (and honestly, they were so, so close, like their noses were practically touching ><) and screams too. That Kogure is his Messiah now, so has a responsibility not to die, and most important, Hinamori will not let him die >o< (My heart.)(I wish I understood more of Kogure's backstory but that was amazing. Hinamori is such a sweet Messiah. I hope Yukihito breaks his heart at some point.)

Yugi finds himself alone against way too many people, and he ends up shot, stabbed by Oikawa, beaten by cultists, then by Honami, and at some point I stopped smiling about "oh none of these wounds are going to show, are they"..... It slowly became a worried "Isn't that a lot of terrible wounds...?" then "OH MY GOD THEY'RE GOING TO KILL YUGI". And that was a huge shock because I don't feel like Mayo and Yugi really had their story. It doesn't feel like they were the main characters of a story. Even there, we still have Itsuki as a remnant from the previous generation. So yeah. We were all gasping and crying.

When Yugi finally find Mayo, they're both on the ground, dying, but trying to hug and tell each other how much they care about and love the other. Mayo wanted Yugi gone from the cult so he wouldn't be manipulated. Yugi wanted to stay with his god because he was grateful for the new life Teru hi gave him. So here they are, trying to protect each other, but that enrages Honami who doesn't want Mayo to love other people more than him. So he keeps on beating Yugi T-T

However, he's interrupted by a very angry Oikawa who stabs him without warning. Just before, one of the Sakura showed Oikawa all the proofs they had about Honami being a false god and the cult manipulating its followers. Oikawa does not take that well, and in his rage manages to kill Honami. He's ready to kill Mayo too, but he gets shot before he has a chance to try. (I was pretty sad because he was a great character and I would have loved to see him again. Oh well T-T)

Finally, Yugi and Mayo are alone and can have their most honest discussion so far. While Mayo desperately tries to stop the blood flowing from Yugi's wounds. Yugi tells him that even after learning what Teru hi was really doing, he still thinks of Mayo as his one and only god. As a true god that can save people. So he wants Mayo to become a god again. But Mayo knows he's a fake and does not want to play at it again so at first he refuses, saying that he always thought of himself as the moon and Yugi was his sun T-T But Mayo ends up realising Yugi is definitely dying and he can't save him, so he accepts to become his god once more, a god that will save the people Yugi won't be able to help anymore. So Yugi asks for his organs to be transplanted in Mayo, so that his weak body will be cured and he can survive for the both of them.

And this is where we leave them, to transition back to a remaining loose end. Itsuki vs Nightmare. Itsuki isn't sure what is going on anymore, because last time Nightmare was clearly Ariga, but this time it's someone else. And why would Nightmare help Itsuki against Teru hi no mori ? "Since you're Sono Yukihito." And it was him. Yukihito (who's really chatty for a spy, that's incredibly suspicious) explains that it's not the cult that has a link with the Northern Alliance, but rather the Northern Alliance who used the cult to create chaos and confusion in Japan. They did not want Teru hi to succeed, because a united Japan is the last thing they want to see. So they helped create tensions and divisions, while making sure Teru hi's plan would fail. That's a lot to take in, but still, Itsuki is here for only one thing : getting Ariga back. Yukihito accepts, but has a condition. "The condition was for me to follow orders !" "Do you want me to free him or not ?" The condition is that Itsuki goes with Yukihito to the Northern Alliance, which he does. And in exchange, Ariga really is freed.

In the end, everyone has a more or less happy ending : - Touya swears he's still friends with Tetsu, and they go search for a place they can belong to, - Kogure apologises to Hinamori, who's really happy to be accepted as Kogure's Messiah, - Kuroko takes back his Kuroko duties because Ichijima is awful at being the comic relief XD - Amane n°2 still fanboys way too much about Shikura. Shikura lets him.

Mayo... isn't dying anymore, thanks to Yugi's healthy organs. But he has trouble realising that, having accepted for so long that he was dying. He wonders if he's really alive, or if he died and came back as a Mayo/Yugi entity. But he clings to his promise of becoming Yugi's one and only god.

This is where it ended. I honestly wasn't crying anymore, I was just numb with shock. Since I didn't expect anyone to die. I think it was a better stage play than the previous two, even though there were still too many characters and plot lines. But at least it feels like they know where they're going with their scenario now. I just hope they'll let go of Itsuki after the film, but they seem to want to explore the life of a Sakura after graduation, so... who knows^^'

I am sorry this became so long. If it isn't coherent or if anyone has a question, please ask and I'll do my best to answer. (Or just if you want to discuss, because I’m always happy to talk about Messiah XD)

#spoilers #Messiah project #personal #I hope it's not a bother to read^^' #sorry I have no self-control