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phoenixyfriend · 2 months

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Calls for Action, Call Your Reps: 2/13/24

This is USA-specific, as that is the place I live and know.

Find your elected officials.

Today, much of my information is coming from Democracy Now!, which I generally listen to as a podcast (functionally, it is a radio news broadcast, like NPR or BBC), and I am quoting from the text versions on their website.

The Senate passed a $95 billion military funding package for Ukraine, Israel and Taiwan in the pre-dawn hours this morning. But the bill’s fate remains unclear after House Speaker Mike Johnson dismissed the measure over its failure to include hard-line immigration restrictions. This comes after Johnson and other Republicans rejected an earlier version of the bill which did contain the border crackdown they had demanded. Johnson has told Republican congressmembers he will call a House vote on a stand-alone funding bill for Israel.

From the same page, we are hearing that President Biden is urging Israel to refrain from invading Rafah, where a million or so Palestinians are currently sheltering, but is not actually threatening any kind of repercussions for said invasion. Reports from both official sources (e.g. the Hamas-run health ministry) and less official (e.g. American doctors returning from relief services in Palestine) indicate that over half of the deaths in Palestine are children.

I am not going to pretend that I know what is going through Biden's head.

Both House and Senate:

Reinstate funding for UNRWA. While the claims made by Israel that employees of the relief agency were involved in Oct. 7th are troubling, THEY are not well supported, and western officials did not do their duty in investigating the claims before cutting funding. This arm of the UN is currently providing food, water, shelter, and medical care to the 2.3 million displaced peoples of Gaza. It is especially disturbing and concerning that the many children of Gaza, who are already suffering due to this conflict, are now having this support revoked. Many sources are also claiming that the evidence is flimsy at best.

Urge both Senate and House to refrain from funding Israel, or to at least put some strings on it. The IDF cannot be given funding without some regulations on what they can do with it. They have proven that they are unwilling to take steps to protect civilians.

FOR THE SENATE: Urge your senator to put their support behind Bernie Sanders and his motion to restrict funding to Israel until a humanitarian review of the IDF’s actions in Gaza has been completed. Cite it as Senate Resolution 504 if your Senator is right-wing enough to react negatively to the mention of Sanders by name. NOTE: This resolution was TABLED by the Senate on 1/16, but it is being brought back in as conditions continue to escalate.

FOR THE HOUSE: Urge your representative to put their support behind Rep. Rashida Tlaib’s petition for the US government to recognize the IDF’s actions in Gaza as ethnic cleansing and forced displacement, and put a stop to it. ALTERNATELY: recommend that they support House Resolution 786, introduced by Rep. Cori Bush, Calling for an immediate deescalation and cease-fire in Israel and occupied Palestine.

On the House Floor this week, to call your rep about:

H.Res. 994: Married persons tax break. Vote nay. Loses billions in tax revenue and explicitly targets green energy.

H.R. 2766 and H.R. 4039: Condemnation of China's actions against the Uyghurs. Can't tell you which way to talk on this. Seems good on the surface, but given who's presenting it, I worry there's something worse tucked into the text. Hopefully someone can provide a better take.

H.R. 3016: IGO Anti-Boycott Act. Vote Nay. This appears to be intended to force US companies to do business with US allies instead of participating in boycotts. This appears, to me, to be an attack on movements like BDS. To Dem Reps, argue that this refuses the right of peaceful protest to US citizens. To Republican Reps, argue that this is a dangerous government overreach and that it is not the right of the government to force US citizens to purchase products and materials from specific foreign partners.

H.Res. 966: Condemnation of sexual violence perpetrated by Hamas against Israel on Oct. 7. Vote Nay. We know sexual violence is bad. Hamas has already been condemned for their actions. This is, at best, lip service. It is a waste of time. There are much bigger, more impactful things to work on, and this is going to waste time and resources in the Senate if it passes.

If you wish to support my political blogging, I am accepting donations on ko-fi.

#Phoenix Politics #current events #united states #are you guys interested in me continuing to do this? should I start including my ko-fi link?#Israel #Palestine #Gaza

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mifhortunach · 7 months

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Horror Short Films You Can Watch For Free - Right Now!

Just a 'small' post collecting some less well known horror short films that you can find mostly on youtube & vimeo! All worth a look!

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SUNGAZER 9min, 2020 (You'll have to log in to vimeo to watch this one!) "A short, wordless horror film about the terrors lurking just beyond the veil of reality." - Or, a man waits, and performs a ritual. Wicked atmospheric, manages to really paint a world despite the run-time. Looks great as well. [TW: flashing lights, body horror, harsh noise]

The Color Out of Space 5min, 2017 "A meteorite, strange vegetation, a colour: an experimental take on H.P. Lovecraft's spiral into madness, shot with a vintage camera on truly unique LomoChrome 16mm film." <- All accurate! Eerie little film.

My House Walk-through: 12min, 2016

Short, sweet, and unnerving!! The person who made this has done a tonne of other (more classical) 'internet horror' shorts, but this is a really wonderful & understated piece. Visually it feels very PT inspired, but its even more about atmosphere and repetition. Worth checking out the making of as well, pretty much the whole thing was done practically!! [TW: unsanitary conditions, blood]

Possibly in Michigan 12min, 1983

Cecilia Condit mostly does weird, dreamy short films. They have a kind of cake with a worm inside feeling, if you get me; things are rotting inside. This one is a cannibal musical! [TW: cannibalism, unreality, insects, murder, animal death]

The Black Tower 23min, 1987

More unsettling than scary. A man finds himself followed by a mysterious building. I really love how this one gets built up visually. The most like a tma episode out of all of these, or something out of Blue Jam. You can read more stuff about it here! [TW: unreality, talk of mental institutions, disordered eating]

Heck 29min, 2020 If you've seen any of these, I think it'll probably be this one. Its the short that originally inspired Skinamarink. I personally kind of prefer this. Digitally gritty and mean. [TW: Same warnings as skinamarink for the most part, there's a kid in danger, a little body horror].

Juliet in Paris 18min, 1967

Juliet moves to Paris for college, is lonely, and keeps losing blood. Kind of a vampire thing? But also not a vampire thing. Vibes and vignette heavy.

[TW: blood, animal death, self harm]

Dawn of an Evil Millennium 20min, 1988 (in 3 parts!)

A palette cleanser! Getting a honourary nomination through me hearing about it on a found footage podcast (lol). A trailer for an 18hr movie that doesn't exist; staring demons, 'olds mobiles', space-travel and cops. Deeply 80s, kind of ooey-gooey, pretty fun! [TW: some vomiting, a lot of fake blood gets splashed about]

Thanks for reading!

#blood /#movies #ppp #horror #idk if anyone else will get anything out of these! but its a little nice to do up a list ngl fgkdshf #thought about doing a zine or smth but i think this is a better format lol #H23 #2023movies #long post /

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tinydeskwriter · 1 year

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CINEMA {prologue}

A/n: This is the prologue of my new little series, that I am unsure yet how long it will be, my ideia is of making the ‘chapters’ like blurbs, I am always open to suggestions, you can send a anonymous ask or massage me privately. For this story, I am breaking up Holivia ahead of the beginning of Love on Tour. In my head Y/n faceclaim is Anya Taylor Joy, so I apologize ahead if in any moment I use some of her physical characteristics, I have been obsessed with the idea of Harry and Anya since they are supposed to be in a project together and both dropped out😔

word count:1664

Don’t Call Me Baby

“Hey Love, what’s up?” Harry asked sweetly.

He had initially thought about ignoring his phone, until he grabbed it to turn it dawn and saw ‘My Love♥️’ on the screen— he never got around to change it after they broke up in 2015, and it wasn’t as if the sentiment had changed, she was still his love—, he untangled himself from Olivia, getting up from the couch and stepping out in the backyard.

Olivia straightened up on the couch, watching Harry walking close by the pool, brows furrowed as he listened to the person on the other end. Of course she knew who it was that her boyfriend was talking to. There was only one other person for whom he reserved all the same nicknames as hers—Y/n. Olivia wasn’t a jealous or insecure woman until she had met the model-turned-actress and watched first hand how Harry and her acted around each other.

She had came to accept after those first interactions with the younger woman and as her own relationship with Harry deepened, that if there was ever a situation where Y/n and her were in the same place, he would always go to Y/n first—it happened a lot on set when Y/n joined the cast in January as Violet, after the originally chosen actress had to leave the project—.

She got a little jealous from time to time. There was something in the way everyone around assumed Y/n and Harry are a couple, how he took Y/n to the Grammy’s instead of her, or how he took the other’s side after the fiasco that had been her interview to the younger podcast back in June—a interview that was supposed to put down the rumors surrounding Florence and her, but after being put in between a interview with a therapist about cheating and a debate about the fake feminism in Hollywood, fueled the fire of the gossips—.

“Tell me what is wrong my love, your sobbing is breaking my heart.” Harry’s accent thickened, and worry was written all around his face.

Olivia pushed herself from the couch, approached the glass door, eyebrows knitted together in curiosity, and as soon as she had asked ‘What’s up’, Harry simply raised his hand to silence her.

“That bastard…”His expression morphed into one of anger. “Are you home?” He immediately went back inside the house. “Do you need me to come over?”

Olivia only raised her eyebrows to her boyfriend’s back. She already knew it wasn’t a question, Harry would be leaving her for Y/n no matter what, and he probably wouldn’t be back until the next day.

It wasn’t the first time.

Harry cut their couple’s trip to Italy short because Miss Model was suffering with anxiety and panic attacks days before showing the first unfinished cut of her debut feature to the Warner Executives.

Olivia’s almost dislike for Y/n came from the care her boyfriend showed the girl. They even fought over it.

Harry just wasn’t the best at communicating, at least with her.

She had no problem with their friendship, except that said friendship always came first, no matter what.

“I am with Liv right now, but I can be at your place in forty minutes.” He said already putting shoes on, his phone between his shoulder and ear. “Fifty-five if I stop by that Italian restaurant to pick up your favorite.”

He stayed silent for a moment, listening to whatever Y/n was saying, a stubborn expression on his handsome face, she knew by the way his eyes quickly went her way that Y/n must have said something about her.

“Love, you never bother, we aren’t doing anything, either way it wouldn’t matter, if you’re not alright, you know I would drop anything.”Harry said too honestly, completely forgetting his girlfriend in earshot.

Olivia was certain she felt he heart shatter.

Harry only seemed to notice her again after Olivia walked in front of him to get to the bedrooms.

“Y/n/n, baby, you’re not okay and I won’t leave you by yourself. I’ll just get my keys, we see each other in a bit, but call if you need anything.” He ended the call before she could protest.

He found Olivia in their shared bedroom, his keys in hand.

“He has been cheating on her…”The man stops in his tracks when he notices his girlfriend going around putting a few of her things in a overnight bag.

“What are you doing?”Harry asks surprised, finally seeming to register that something is of with his girlfriend of almost a year.

“I’am leaving,”She snapped her head at him, emotion visible in her green eyes, “I’ll spend the night with the kids.”

“What’s wrong?” He seemed slightly worried.

“What isn’t?” There was frustration in her words. “You always drop everything for her! It’s always her! Of course no one would believe in our relationship when you act the way you do around her!” The director accused. “I feel like a placeholder, I am here until she wants you again and you go running.”

Olivia was overreacting in his eyes. He didn’t want to leave her for shits and giggles, Y/n was going through a difficult moment, he couldn’t bring himself into leaving her on her own. He had hope that Olivia, as a older and mature woman would understand and not let herself be carried by insecurity.

He felt deja-vu. It was like Camille all over again.

“She just found out she’s been cheated, I can leave her alone at this moment.” Harry tried to explain himself.

“Harry, you’re only here with me after making sure she doesn’t need you first,” Olivia accused him in a calm—if hurt—tone, “she’s your first call after every good news, or when you are sad or in a bad mood. She was your date to the fucking Grammy’s!”

He shook his head.

“You’re not been fair.”

Olivia looked at him, eyes wide open.

“Jeff was right.” She said shaking her head. “He was drunk, probably doesn’t even remember he said it, but he did, Jeffrey said she’s your muse, your first love and the owner of your heart and mind, he then went on: she’s the Sun he orbits around, all the others are stars, what is a mere star when compared to the Sun?” She laughed in disbelief, running a hand through her hair. “Does everybody knows? Was I the only clueless one?”

“You sound crazy.” He said harshly, cursing Jeff in his mind for opening his mouth.

“H, you’re in love with her, can you admit it to yourself?!” Olivia accused him.

“I’m not in love with her!” He said like a bad rehearsed script.

Even to his own ears his words sounded false and without conviction.

“It’s just… We have history, I love her deeply. Seeing her getting hurt, it guts me… it tears me apart. I can’t help it how I feel…”He said truthfully, avoiding his girlfriend’s eyes.

“Harry, do you even hear yourself?” Olivia asked, sitting by the foot of the bed. “Do you even feel this deep about me?”

He knew what she was asking truly: Do you love me?

And the fact that he had to pause to think in itself was already a horrible answer.

He cared about Olivia, deeply, he felt romantically about her, did the feelings compare? No.

It gutted him the simple notion of not having Y/n in his life in whatever capacity. He needed her smile, and her laugh. Those big eyes that looked at him with love and appreciation, that always made him feel worth of something and less like a fraud. The way her hands stoked his hair on his bad days. Or how she always called him My Love with a ‘smiling voice’.

He knew that he was able to live without Liv in his life, it would hurt a little at first, but Y/n would be there as the antidote.

“It’s different. I love you…”

“But you love her more.” She said sarcastically.

“I never compared.” He denied, running his hand through his hair a nervous way. “Baby…”

Harry felt defeated.

“Don’t call me baby…”

Olivia scoffed, feeling dumb, she should have note it the moment she met Y/n. But she was lost in the feeling of new love, feeling young and… free, as cliche as it may sound.

She remember all the times she felt like she was ‘competing’ with the younger woman. It was never a competition.

Its impossible to compete with someone that already won without even being in the competition.

Olivia got up, smiling small, she too felt defeated, but she would, if nothing else, be a gracious loser, even if her heart was being shattered on the way. She swung her bag over her shoulder, kissing his face on the way out.

“You should at least admit it to yourself.” The older women said looking into his eyes.

She was already waiting for him by the door, security must have warned her of his arrival at the gate, wrapped in a silk kimono, she smiled when he got out of the car.

“I am sorry for the delay.” He said carrying the bags with food from out of the car.

“Thank you for coming, my Love.” She said against his t-shirt, hugging his middle.

He grabbed her face with both hands, making her look up to him.

“Nothing would keep me from being with you when you need me, Baby.”

She smiled, and just like that, everything was good again for him.

Y/n stretched out on her tiptoes, giving him a peck on the lips. A act of greeting so customary between them, but that this time made his heart race in his chest.

Olivia’s words fresh in his mind, mixing with the accusations screamed at him by Camille years before.

“Let’s go in, it’s a little chill outside.” She hold his free hand in hers. “Are you staying the night?” Y/n ask looking up to him.

“For as long as you need me.” Harry smiles back.

Next Part

Taglist: @slutforcoffein ; @lilsiz

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagines #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles series #harry styles fic #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x model!reader #harry styles reader #harry styles x reader #harry styles x actress!yn

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queerasfact · 2 years

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Pride 2022 14/30: Gladys Bentley

Gladys Bentley was famous in New York’s Harlem in the 1920s and 1930s. One of her early gigs was at the Clam House - a popular queer venue. There she caught the attention of writer Langston Hughes, who remembered: “ …Miss Bentley sat, and played a big piano all night long, literally all night, without stopping … from ten in the evening until dawn … Miss Bentley was an amazing exhibition of musical energy–a large, dark, masculine lady, whose feet pounded the floor while her fingers pounded the keyboard…”

Gladys was famous not just for her piano-playing, but her dirty improvised lyrics, and her masculine dress. From an early age, Gladys was more comfortable in masculine clothing - her trademark performing outfit was a white tuxedo.

Gladys was publicly known to be interested in women, and might even have participated in one of 30s Harlem’s female-female weddings.

learn more with queer as fact: a queer history podcast

[Image descriptions]: head-and-shoulders portrait of Gladys in a dark suit, top hat and lipstick; Gladys wearing a white tuxedo and top hat, and holding a cane]

#gladys bentley #pride #pride 2022 #queer history #lgbt history

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gabessquishytum · 9 months

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thinking about the porn studio au again and craving fluff... so! hob's had a busy (and throughly enjoyable) week of filming, they've wrapped for the week, and he and dream have a nice relaxing friday evening together before dream has to fly out on saturday morning for a business thing. a little annoying, hob always likes weekends when he gets some time alone with dream, but it's not a big deal. hob's fully intending to spend the weekend doing absolutely nothing, it'll be nice.

dream has to leave before dawn, so he wakes hob up for a kiss goodbye and then hob goes back to sleep... so when he wakes up properly it's to an empty bed. which is never his favourite way to wake up, it doesn't put him in a great mood, but it's fine. he'll get up and make coffee and go about his day of relaxing. it'll be fine.

it's... not quite fine. it sets in gradually enough that it takes hob a bit to figure it out, but when he burns his toast and starts crying about it... yeah, that's enough to clue him in that he's having a delayed drop. and part of him really just wants to go back to bed and hide and not say a word to dream -- his plane should be landing about now, there's nothing he can do, the last thing he wants is to make dream worry about him while he has more important things going on, it's not important, he's not important -- but dream has been very clear about what he wants hob to do in a subdrop.

so when dream calls after he gets out of the airport, hob tells him how he's feeling. and dream is... very tempted to turn around and get on the next plane home, honestly, but he knows that's not a rational thing to do. so instead he gives hob a few easy self-care tasks and immediately calls the other endless (and the corinthian).

over the next twenty minutes, all hob's other doms filter into the house. despair shows up first, hauling her ridiculously heavy weighted blanket to put hob under while the others arrive. a few of them bring treats, delirium brings her new favourite fidget toys, death brings a comfortable harness hob loves in case he wants to feel a little restrained. half an hour after he called, when dream's booked into his hotel room and checking flights home and telling himself that the others can take care of hob and he does not need to overreact, he gets a text from death.

they've all piled into hob and dream's bedroom, most of them on their bed, which is plenty big but it still takes work to get that many people on it. it helps that hob is laying fully on top of destruction -- hob's not exactly small, but literally everyone looks small next to destruction. destiny's dragged one of their armchairs into the room and is settled in next to the bed with a book that he's reading out loud. death's taking the picture, but there's a space left for her in the tangle of limbs on the bed.

it's a good reminder to dream -- hob may be his partner, but the others aren't only hob's doms while they're working. they adore hob, all of them, and they're all more than happy to drop everything and come take care of hob when he needs them.

-🐈‍⬛

I love this SO much. The aftercare and emotional availability of bdsm dynamics is such a wonderful thing, it's almost difficult to express how it feels but that comfort and feeling of safety and closeness? Unmatched. I need Hob to have that.

Idk also the idea of Delirium bringing fidget toys for Hob really touched me as well! I can absolutely imagine Hob being a person who needs something to do with his hands. When the headspace gets shitty he needs something physical to engage a part of his brain because otherwise he will ruminate and get super anxious. Fidget toys plus weighted blanket is the perfect combo, and Delirium and Despair are both so good at reading Hob’s physical needs during a drop. They just get it, no words needed.

I'm imagining Hob just being gently bombarded by pleasant, caring vibes. Lots of comfort food, all his favourite music and podcasts (Death remembers all his favourite things and it makes him cry a bit), napping on Destruction's chest and getting a killer massage from the corinthian that leaves him boneless.

He confides the thoughts that come with the drop while he's showering (Desire is washing his hair and Destiny is just sitting in the bathroom), and they talk about it a bit and go through some very gentle thought-questioning exercises. By the end of the day he's quiet but smiley and ready to have a better day tomorrow. He's got kisses and soft thank-yous for all his doms, and in his evening call to Dream he sounds sleepy but very very settled.

By the time Dream gets home, Hob is out of his drop but the flat is still crammed to the gills with the Endless + Cori. Dream gets pulled into the cuddle puddle and he doesn't even complain! He's so so grateful to the group for taking care of Hob, it means the absolute world to know that his love will always be safe and cared for. They get on his nerves but he wouldn't give up on working with his family for the whole world.

#🐈‍⬛ anon #the sandman #dreamling #hob x the endless #nsft

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bookgeekgrrl · 11 days

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My media this week (7-13 Apr 2024)

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰 If This Is As Far As We Go (BeauRadley) - 124K, stucky no-powers AU - after a year of being phenomenal hookup buddies, bucky ends their arrangement & throws steve into a tailspin - slow burn, angsty, oblivious steve slowly realizing his true feelings, good supporting cast

😊 Bunt! Striking Out on Financial Aid (Ngozi Ukazu & Mad Rupert) - cute graphic novel about art students forming a softball team to exploit a financial aid loophole

😍 Death in the Spires (KJ Charles, author; Tom Lawrence, narrator) - historical murder mystery set in 1905 Oxford - another KJC absolute banger: incredible sense of place, fantastic characters, perfectly done 'whodunnit' tension and a HIGHLY SATISFACTORY resolution. Loved every word

💖💖 +76K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

The Man, the Myth, the Legend (sparklyslug) - Check Please!: gen, 2.9K - Holster's beatboxing skills brings all the a capella groups to the Haus - a short, fun, funny, outsider POV fic

Say it louder for the people in the back (redhook) - MCU: shrinkyclinks, 14K - reread, forever fave - sometimes you just get a yearning to reread the best glory hole fic ever written

In Focus (sparklyslug) - Check Please!: zimbits, 6K - Jack's photography eye knows what's up before his conscious brain does

Entering Orbit (museaway) - Star Trek AOS: spirk, 30K - good post-AOS canon-divergent fic where Jim goes home to Iowa to escape the press & Spock joins him

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Hot Ones - Conan O'Brien

QI - series S, ep 13

Game Changer - s6, e5 {Bingoception}

Um, Actually - s9, e4

D20: Fantasy High: Junior Year - "Dawn of Justice" (s21, e14)

D20: Adventuring Party - "We're Running on 200%" (s16, e14)

Death In Paradise - s11, e4-8; s12 e0-8, s13 e0-8

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Working - How to Be Both a Critic and a Creator

Worlds Beyond Number - WWW #10: Of the Reaching Green

Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for WWW ep10 "Of the Reaching Green"

Short Wave - How Climate Change And Physics Affect Baseball

Consider This from NPR - Bad Omens Or The Cycle of Nature? How The Ancient World Viewed Eclipses

⭐ Armchair Expert - Anna Kendrick [Rerelease from 1/9/23]

Today, Explained - Is college still worth it?

The Sporkful - Jewish Food Is More Than Matzoh Balls

WikiHole - BEYONCÉ (with Zoë Chao, Nat Faxon and Poppy Liu)

⭐ All Songs Considered - Songs to make you laugh, with 'Weird Al' Yankovic

In Defense of Fandom - Season 2 Episode 2: Putting my theory to the test

Dinner’s on Me - Orville Peck

⭐ Switched on Pop - Chasing old sounds: Djo's "End of Beginning" with Joe Keery

⭐ 99% Invisible #577 - The Society of Ambiance Makers and Elegant Persons

⭐ Vibe Check - A Special Conversation with Ada Limón

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Brown Mountain Lights

Short Wave - The Order Your Siblings Were Born in May Play a Role in Identity and Sexuality

⭐ Code Switch - How Frederick Douglass launched generations of Black and Irish solidarity

⭐ Decoder Ring - Can the “Bookazine” Save Magazines?

⭐ Imaginary Worlds - African Sci-Fi Looks to a Future Climate

Worlds Beyond Number - WWW #11: Promises Promises

Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for WWW ep11 "Promises Promises"

What Next: TBD - Does Google Suck Now?

Short Wave - What To Know About The New EPA Rule Limiting 'Forever Chemicals' In Tap Water

Code Switch - Reflecting on the legacy of O.J. Simpson

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Atlas Obscura Live: Two Places And A Lie

Dear Prudence - I Lost a Lot of Weight and Now I Enjoy Being a Mean Girl. Help!

It's Been a Minute - The car culture wars; plus, the problem with child stars

Endless Thread - RIP Lil Miquela

Shedunnit - You Probably Imagined It!

Armchair Expert - John Cena

Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - [One Shot] A County Affair: Prologue

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

Presenting Bonnie Raitt

Lowrider Oldies

Huge House Anthems

Djo

Classic Soul BBQ

A LA SALA [Khruangbin] {2024}

Presenting Khruangbin

Happy Beats

'80s One-Hit Wonders

Feel-Good Classic Rock

#sunday reading recap #bookgeekgrrl's reading habits #bookgeekgrrl's soundtracks #death in the spires #no surprise that kj charles can write the *fuck* out of a mystery #bunt! striking out on financial aid #we had a power outage so i decided to read an actual physical book!#comics & graphic novels are really the only physical books i read these days #fanfic ftw #dropout tv #got all caught up on death in paradise which i continue to watch with 50% affection 50% annoyance #mfred tipped me off to khruangbin and i love them #bonnie raitt #djo #vibe check podcast #switched on pop podcast #99% invisible podcast #decoder ring podcast #all songs considered podcast #code switch podcast #imaginary worlds podcast #armchair expert podcast #shedunnit podcast #worlds beyond number podcast #worlds beyond number: fireside podcast #wikihole podcast #endless thread podcast #it's been a minute podcast #the atlas obscura podcast #the sporkful podcast

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sunnydaleherald · 8 days

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The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Wednesday, April 17

BUFFY: So, you've been seeing a guy, and you don't know what he looks like? Okay, this is a puzzle. No, wait, I'm good at these. Does it involve a midget and a block of ice?

~~BtVS 1x08 “I, Robot... You, Jane~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Disastrous Date (Buffy, Owen Thurman, Giles, PG) by badly_knitted

Numb (Buffy, PG-13) by veronyxk84

[Series: 11 drabbles added] Crossing Over - BtVS/Spuffy crossover drabbles (Ensemble, xovers w/ various shows, G) by julikobold

Love Language (Xander/Spike, not rated) by forsaken2003

Who the Hell is Lindsey McDonald? (Lindsey, Leverage xover, G) by nival_kenival

Spike x Female Reader Pt. 1 (not rated) by crowwritesaway

[French language] Des fleurs pour la St Valentin (Buffy/Spike, G) by MissKitty28

To the ghosts between us (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by will_

[Chaptered Fiction]

You’re my always, Chapter 4/4 (Willow/Tara, T) by ronanceisrxmance

Six Inches Between Us, Chapter 3/3 (Buffy/Giles, E) by AddieH

Staying Afloat, Chapter 21/? (Willow/Oz, T) by dwinchester

[Spanish language] Me haces tanto bien, Chapter 4/? (Buffy/Spike, M) by Nigthmareintheheaven

With Arms Wide Open, Chapter 31/? (Buffy/Giles, E) by jaybird023

[Ukrainian language] Forward to Time Past//Вперед у час минулий, Chapter 37/67 (Buffy/Spike, E) translation by Uraniya

Infinitely, Chapter 48/? (Willow/Tara, M) by Laragh

[French language] Recommencer, Chapter 7/? (Buffy/Faith, M) by FridayQueen

In the Dark of the Night, Chapter 8/? (Buffy/Spike, Jenny/Giles, M) by norik23

[French language] La fin des temps, Chapter 31 (Buffy/Spike, G) by MissKitty28

The Scoobies, Chapter 11 (Ensemble, T) by heckate

Faded Hope, Chapter 26 (Buffy/Spike, Adult Only) by bitchee

Blood and dust, Chapters 5-6 (Buffy/Spike, 18+) by Blackoberst

What the Drabble? Vol. 2, Chapter 13 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by VeroNyxK84

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork: butterflies and sleepy vamps (Buffy/Spike, worksafe) by tubesock86

Artwork: Buffy back study (worksafe) by isevery0nehereverystoned

Artwork: Dusk (Buffy, tarot, worksafe) by isevery0nehereverystoned

Artwork: dead end (Lindsey McDonald, worksafe) by genericaces

[Reviews & Recaps]

PODCAST: HELLMOUTH HOMOS: Hush by Fear Queers

PODCAST: Bonus Episode 3! Season 3 Recap by Gym Was Cancelled

[Community Announcements]

Event: Pen & Paint 2024 by SADmins

[Fandom Discussions]

I understand the appeal of fics where Spike doesn’t get his soul back, but [...] by nicnacsnonsense

[anon ask] [Thoughts on the dynamic between Faith and Dawn] answered by explosionshark

I haven’t processed that [Cordelia's fate's] not a prank yet by littled0lls

Houses are NOT safe with [Buffy]! by aphony-cree

[Buffy] loves so deeply and irrationally and makes every love a part of her by crimeboys

[About Jesse's fate] by stardust-kiddo

[ask] [Some fix-it scenarios for BtVS] answered by fox-toothed

Andrew Wells’s monologue about Faith by coraniaid

BTVS opinion : 4x09 [Spike seeing Willow's pain] by nevereverthem

The Romani still hold onto their vengeance but not a transcript of the dang curse by thisisgoing2far

Faith's more of an Angel than a Spike by LightBlueSky55

“Hell-Bound” in Angel is such an underrated scary episode by Eagles56

Vampires and their mothers by failed_asian

Did they purposely write Buffy as being slightly less cool when Faith came along? by Tsole96

Oz & Early Faith by Neat-Biscotti-2962

Which half of BtVS do you love? by Kindofaddictedtotv

What do you think is the best three episode streak in the whole series aka your "holy trinity"? by incendio1897

Tell me why you love Buffy! What does the show bring to your life? by secyning

Faith and Wood? by Slayerette444

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Who do finance the watcher's council? by Imcyves

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

CONVENTION: David Boreanaz, Charisma Carpenter, and Julie Benz in Orlando, Sept. 2024 by Fanboy Expo Orlando

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#btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #ats #angel the series #fan art #fan fiction #meta

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diaphanouso · 7 months

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10 Mutuals I'd Like to Know Better

Thanks for the tag, @dulcidyne and @westernlarch !

Last song I listened to: Goldfrapp - Beast That Never Was

Favorite content to watch: sci-fi (some faves are For All Mankind, The Expanse, Event Horizon, Alien), horror (Haunting of Hill House, Yellowjackets, found footage genre), long-running sitcoms (Gilmore Girls, Frasier, Community), DELICIOUS MESSY DRAMAS (Succession, Suits), anything Taika Waititi's involved in

Favorite games: Mass Effect, Horizon Zero Dawn, BotW, TotK, LoZ Majora's Mask, Donkey Kong Country 2

Favorite color: green-leaning teal

Favorite animals: mustelids, giraffes/okapis

Favorite food: tacos, halo-halo, pickled things, a plate fixed with the following: fried cornbread w/ fresh sliced tomato and collard greens w/ vinegar and Tabasco sauce—perfect bite 🤌

Sweet, spicy, or savory: SPICY 🌶️

Current obsessions: BG3 got me too 😁 Otherwise it's this sci-fi/horror ME fic I'm working on that cropped up out of nowhere amidst a field of active wips

Last book I read: All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr (thanks so much for the rec, @dulcidyne!). Currently reading Cixin Liu's The Wandering Earth short story collection, and it's SO good

Last thing I googled: "jupiter brain youtube"

Relationship: long-term monogamy, cohabitating

Fun fact: I got to be a (very random???) guest on the Dear Prudence podcast when I chatted with Danny Lavery after a Dear Prudence Live show in DC. We chatted about conflict resolution and I didn't think he was serious when he invited me on the show but he was! I will not say which episode out here bc I'm painfully embarrassed by how I sound lol but if you're curious, message me and I can dig up the link

Tagging @dispatchwithlove @angry-jager @dwarrowdams @kalliesa @misseffect @otemporanerys @wingsy-keeper-of-songs @jtownnn

#tag game

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thepodcastatdawnshouse · 2 years

Text

Episode 42: Babysitters' Island Adventure

OMG, Claudia and Dawn are doing illegal daycare while lost at sea! How did this happen, you ask? It turns out they’re massively into sailing, just huge boat-heads, and they always have been, you just didn’t notice. Don’t worry if you don’t know anything about sailing, though – neither does Ann. We got a boat guy in to consult on this book and he was very upset.

On today’s agenda: massive, shameless retcons; the boat terminology social contract; Dawn and Jeff are hydration hipsters; the junior coastguard can’t go out after dark; all the men are cancelled; beach vibes only; the tragedy of the Ramseys; a master class in exposition; judo training in the Carnegie library; a PhD in boat imagery; baffling 90s phone tech.

Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley & "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.

If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!

Check out this episode!

#babysitters club #the babysitters club #bsc #the podcast at dawns house

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boba-beom · 1 year

Note

GROCERY SHOPPING WITH GYU / MIDNIGHT CONVENIENCE STORE RUNS WITH EVEN BETTER MIDNIGHT CONVERSATIONS PLS PLS PLS 😭💔

ANONIE YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS ☹️❤️

you'd be messaging each other back and forth late at night and he'd just think, why not just talk in person? so he'd leave you on read for a long while lmao and go to your place, standing outside while he looks at the lights through the curtain of your room, and send you another text saying '7/11?' or any supermarket name etc that's open 24 hours.

I can definitely see him walking beside you with is hands in his pockets while you're walking beside him with your sweater paws or he'd even offer to link your arms together to give you some sort of body warmth. as soon as you arrive at the supermarket, he'd just follow you to whichever aisle you make a beeline to.

he'd see you being humble with your selection of snacks and he'd nudge your arm, looking at you with his brow cocked up and say, "are you sure that's all?" he'd shake his head as he grabs some more of your favourite snacks, "here, it's on me. so don't worry, okay?" but in reality we know he just wants some too hehe

no because I LIVE for midnight conversations sm 😫 you would both sit on the curb by the shop, or even walk around the area a little to find a brick wall or a wooden bench to sit on, and as soon as you take your snacks out, you both start talking about the most bizarre things, making each other laugh, sharing snacks between you both. I feel like you'd have interesting conversations with gyu, to the point you'd both be like, "I swear, we need to make a podcast." and convince each other that thousands of people would listen to your unserious conversations.

but when the night starts to turn into dawn, the conversations tend to simmer down and reach a little more into the deep end. and for sure you'd be hesitant to talk about something that you've never told anyone else before, but he would 100% reassure you that he is there for you and what's been said will stay between the both of you. I even see him holding up his pinky finger with a gentle smile on his lips, his eyes waiting for you to hook your pinky onto his and make a promise. why? because he trusts you and he hopes that you trust him too, regardless of whether you're just friends or more than that 🥹

at that time of night, he gives me the definition of calm and comfortable. you just feel at peace, and like it's easier for you to breathe. and if you get colder, he'd either scoot a little closer and invite you to lean into him while he has his arm around you so you continue talking until sunrise. or he'd offer to head back to your house where you're sitting on the sofa sharing a blanket, still talking about everything and anything with the dim, ambient lighting until you no longer need that due to the sun peaking through the blinds :(

I love how common long conversations / late night conversations with gyu is and it's just a universal theme :'>

send me soft / hard beomgyu thoughts <3

#I really went all in for this because I go late night grocery store trips with my bsfs a lot recently #and it always ends up with us going to one of our houses to continue talking until like 4am :')#beomgyu fluff #soft beomgyu hours #anonie ❁#[ 🪴 ] — asks.

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heidiamalia · 10 days

Note

oooo 10 and 11 for the fic recs??

okay so i had to do a lil digging for these lolol i apologize for the wait

10/ a fic that isn't prose [poetry, text fic, etc]

after a length of time searching i found the script-formatted fic where crowley and aziraphale create a podcast after the not-apocalypse and i mean -

it's great.

it's a new craze by attheborder

CROWLEY: I try not to make a habit of gratitude, but I must give our appreciation to everyone out there who’s been listening and subscribing to The Ineffable Plan.

AZIRAPHALE: Ooh, yes, we’ve become quite popular, haven’t we?

CROWLEY: Yeah, just hit number eight on the advice charts … No advertising at all.

AZIRAPHALE: Mm. How … miraculous.

CROWLEY: … Aziraphale. You did not.

Crowley and Aziraphale are very possibly the people least qualified, on the entire planet, to start up an advice podcast. But what else is there to do when the world isn’t ending anytime soon, you’re technically on indefinite sabbatical from your lifelong careers, and you need a plausible excuse to spend more time with your best friend who you’re definitely not, absolutely not, maybe just a little, actually maybe overwhelmingly in love with?

i do very much enjoy how thoroughly in you get with this one. we're stuck to the sidelines with the rest of the listeners tagged on twitter and whatnot, watching certain spirals come out and the plot thicken. their voices are so real in my head throughout, without any moment of doubt. i think i laughed right from the summary and didn't stop.

11/ a fic that brought you aboard a new ship

now this line isnt exactly fair because the show itself brought me aboard the ship - the gifsets and the pacific rim comparisons and the long metas to being in sync with each other really introduced me. but the first fic i absolutely remember reading for the ot3 was this one -

safe as houses by thecanaryfalls

Parker and Hardison comfort Eliot, in their weird multimillionare-convicted-felons-who-are-planning-a-life-with-him kind of way.

Set right around The Rundown Job.

this is that middle of the night, quiet and soft piece where you can hear how loud someone's shifting on the couch is -

like does that make sense.

the bit of early early dawn where its too soon to speak up before the birds but you still wanna have that sleepover conversation moment where you have to reassure your best friend you're always gonna be there.

this was that. this is where it was so so solid for me.

ask me about the fic rec meme!

#heidi answers #carry-the-sky #fic recs #ask games #like damn you really gotta think about these ones #thanks haley!!#good omens #leverage #tv: good omens #tv: leverage #leverage ot3

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richincolor · 11 months

Photo

New Releases

New week, new books out tomorrow! Are any of these on your TBR pile?

Kismat Connection by Ananya Devarajan

Is it possible to change your fate? Madhuri Iyer is doomed. Doomed for her upcoming senior year to be a total failure, according to her astrology-obsessed mother, and doomed to a happily ever after with her first boyfriend, according to her family curse.

Determined to prove the existence of her free will, Madhuri devises an experimental relationship with the one boy she knows she’ll never fall for: her childhood best friend, Arjun Mehta. But Arjun’s feelings for her are a variable she didn’t account for. As Madhuri starts to fall for her experimental boyfriend, she’ll have to decide if charting her own destiny is worth breaking Arjun’s heart—and her own.

Boundless: Twenty Voices Celebrating Multicultural and Multiracial Identities edited by Ismée Amiel Williams and Rebecca Balcárcel When identities cross boundaries, with love that knows no bounds. From platonic and romantic love to grief and heartbreak, these stories explore navigating life at the intersection of identities, and what it means to grow up surrounded by a multitude of traditions, languages, cultures, and interpersonal dynamics. Returning to a father’s homeland. Trying to fit in at chaotic weddings and lavish birthday parties where not all are welcome. Processing grief at family gatherings. Figuring out how to share the news of a new relationship with loved ones. This collection celebrates multicultural and multiracial characters at the helm of their own narratives, as they approach life with a renewed sense of hope and acceptance.

Featuring original stories from: Adi Alsaid Rebecca Balcárcel Akemi Dawn Bowman Anika Fajardo Shannon Gibney I.W. Gregorio Veera Hiranandani Nasugraq Rainey Hopson Emiko Jean Erin Entrada Kelly Torrey Maldonado Mélina Mangal Goldy Moldavsky Randy Ribay Loriel Ryon Tara Sim Eric Smith Jasmine Warga Ismée Williams Karen Yin

What She Missed by Liara Tamani When Ebony and her parents move from Houston, Texas, to her grandmother’s house in a small lake town, Ebony is sure her life is doomed. And to make matters worse, the ghost of Ebony’s beloved grandmother—a strong swimmer who tragically drowned in the lake—is everywhere. Alula Lake does offer one perk: reconnecting Ebony with her childhood friend, Jalen. But as Ebony settles into life, she finds herself drifting away from Jalen and gravitating to his older sister, Lena. Lena is chaotic, disorderly, and rebellious, yet she offers a reprieve for the anger and sadness Ebony feels about losing so much.

An ode to nature, art, friendship, history, family, and love, this lyrical coming-of-age story explores one girl’s summer of self-discovery as she reimagines the world and her place in it. What She Missed is for fans of Sarah Dessen, Nina LaCour, and Nicola Yoon.

Everyone Wants to Know by Kelly Loy Gilbert This ripped-from-the-tabloids young adult drama by the critically acclaimed author Kelly Loy Gilbert about a girl’s famous-for-being-famous family fracturing from within as their dirty laundry gets exposed.

The Lo family sticks together. That’s what Honor has been told her whole life while growing up in the glare of the public eye on Lo and Behold , the reality show about her, her four siblings, and their parents. Their show may be off the air, but the Lo family members still live in the spotlight as influencers churning out podcasts, bestselling books, and brand partnerships. So when Honor’s father announces that he’s moving out of their northern California home to rent an apartment in Brooklyn, Honor’s personal upset becomes the internet’s trending B-list celebrity trainwreck—threatening the aspirational image the Los’ brand (and livelihood) depends on.

After one of her best friends leaks their private conversation to a gossip site, bruised and betrayed Honor pours all her energy into reuniting her family. With her parents 3,000 miles apart, her siblings torn into factions, and all of them under claustrophobic public scrutiny, this is easier said than done. Just when Honor feels at her lowest, a guarded yet vulnerable boy named Caden comes into her life and makes her want something beyond the tight Lo inner circle for the first time. But is it fair to open her heart to someone new when the people she loves are teetering on the edge of ruin?

As increasingly terrible secrets come to light about the people Honor thought she knew best in the world, she’s forced to choose between loyalty to her family and fighting for the life she wants.

#new releases #ya lit #everyone wants to know #kismat connection #what she missed #boundless

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genderqueerswagfight · 1 year

Note

Who is in the bracket. I need to project on to my blorbos.

here's a list of everyone who will be in the bracket, NOT in order because i lost my bracket and have to remake it, but these are all the players im putting out on the field

Klavier Gavin (Ace Attorney)

Tachibana Hinata (Fabiniku)

Loid Forger/Twilight (Spy x Family)

Juno Steel (The Penumbra Podcast)

Iruma (Mairimashita! Iruma-kun)

Kashima Yuu (Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki Kun)

Magnus Bane (Shadowhunters TV 2016)

Viola/Cesario (Twelfth Night)

Rem (Death Note)

Double Trouble (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)

Garnet (Steven Universe)

Godot (Ace Attorney)

Alex Fierro (Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard)

Fiona (Shrek)

Adrien Agreste (Miraculous Ladybug)

Howl Jenkins Pendragon (Howl's Moving Castle)

Fujimoto (Ponyo)

Aziraphale and Crowley (Good Omens)

Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archive)

Francois (Dr. Stone)

Kirby (Nintendo)

Nanamine Sakura (Toilet Bound Hanako Kun)

Luna (Vanitas no Carte)

Kenjaku (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Jessie and James (Pokemon)

Loki (Norse Mythology)

Luz Noceda (The Owl House)

Neo Metal Sonic (Sonic)

Khensu (Cleopatra in Space)

Vinnie Dakota (Milo Murphy's Law)

Avery (Pokemon Shield)

Mikitaka (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)

Bugs Bunny (Warner Bros)

Maxwell Klinger (M*A*S*H)

Whisper (Yokai Watch)

Batsubami Rei (Kakegurui)

Yuka Ayukawa (Blue Period)

Stacey (Kikai Sentai Zenkaiger)

Mizuki Akiyama (Project Sekai)

Deidara (Naruto)

Scarecrow (The Wizard of Oz)

Chris (Thomas Was Alone)

Testament (Guilty Gear)

Envy (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Kuranosuke Koibuchi (Princess Jellyfish)

Link (Legend of Zelda)

Yoo Joonghyuk (Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint)

Aoi Kureha (Paradox Live)

Mae Borowski (Night in the Woods)

Phosphophyllite (Houseki no Kuni)

Kyza (Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn)

Idia Shroud (Twisted Wonderland)

Lake (Infinity Train)

Winston Bishop (New Girl)

Mr. Finch (Person of Interest)

Nightshade (Transformers: Earthspark)

Callum (Subway Surfers)

Haruhi Fujioka (Ouran High School Host Club)

Haruka Tenou (Sailor Moon)

HiMERU (Ensemble Stars)

Wataru Hibiki (Ensemble Stars)

The Toy Soldier (The Mechanisms)

Kris, Frisk, and Chara (Undertale/Deltarune)

Teruki Hanazawa (Mob Psycho 100)

again these are NOT IN ORDER! the actual bracket should be out ugh. whenever i have time to remake it. if u have any complaints abt any of the characters pls tell me bc i probably wont do anything about it but i love drama

#gqs tournament #mod answers

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freuleinanna · 2 years

Text

postcards

Characters: Travis Hackett Chosen ending: The Hacketts are all dead except Travis, Laura survives Short summary: Travis is trying to cope with the trauma of losing his family as best he can (which is not good at all). At the same time, unsigned postcards start to arrive. Words count: 2595 (trauma, healing)

Tags: @b33barlowsstuff, @imperfectjam, @sera-wonderland, @strawberryoverkill, @hrefna-the-raven (tagging my Travis squad, though it's ok if this one's not to your liking)

(I don't pretend to write master psychology or trauma, so I'm sorry if you hate it, but a Travis!meta thought wrote itself into a fic, plus I'm still on my Travis x Laura enemies-to-slightly-less-enemies-with-connection bullshit, oops)

September, 26 This feels stupid.

(no date)

fix the fence

buy coffee

start those quarterly reports !

check podcast nothing new

(no date) No, I know, it ain't it. I'll try tomorrow. Can't think of anything worth saying.

October, 6 Here's the thing. Chris used to keep a journal. He said it helped, and I owe it to him to try. Just gotta write whatever's on my mind or stuff that happened. So. Drank a beer. Took another patrol shift. Way behind on the quarterlies, really gotta start on them now. What else?

God, what a load of crap. Chris is dead. Bobby's dead. Caleb's dead. Kaylee's dead. Dad's dead.

That's what's on my fucking mind.

October, 7 Ma is dead. There, I wrote it. Feels good. Not that she's I don't mean fuck

October, 19 Full moon yesterday. Didn't know what else to do, so I started packing. Unpacked around dawn. I don’t need silver bullets anymore.

October, 27 A postcard came from NY. Weird. Nothing but the sender's address. Threw it out.

October, 31 Fucking habits.

I was patrolling, and drove to the camp site. Didn't mean to, just sort of ended up here. Sat in the car like an idiot looking at the windows. Usually, one would be lit. I'd get out, come in, we'd crack a couple of cold ones. I can’t bring myself to //

A bunch of kids just tried to break in on camp's grounds. I think they were looking for a place to get wasted on a Halloween night, which I completely forgot about. One of them was dressed as a werewolf and kept howling. For a moment, I thought Anyway. Scaring the shit out of them felt good. Shouting, too. Disrespectful assholes didn't have any right to be here. Not here.

PS. Almost called Chris to tell the story and have a good laugh.

November, 14 Sent in the quarterly reports last week. WAY overdue. Things kind of lose their importance, even I know it’s not a good sign. Everything that happens swooshes right through my brain, in and out, like a bullet. Maybe a bullet is what I need

That last part came out of nowhere. I'm not really thinking it. I mean I wasn't, but now that I wrote it, I obviously am. Shit! This whole journal thing is fucking my brain up. Great advice, C. Real nice. It should be helping, not making more mess. How am I supposed to figure it out?

No, fuck that. Ma raised us better than self-pity.

But then, Ma also raised us to protect the family.

November, 19 Full moon. I still measure time by calendar marks. Three moons ago they were all alive.

December, 18 Full moon.

December, 26 Another postcard came. Obnoxious Christmassy stuff, with one snowman sneezing the carrot out and another dodging it and shouting 'I'm okay!' Nothing more, nothing less. Someone must have screwed up the address. This had better stop.

Anyway, this past month. Nothing much to say, I was clearing out the house. Couldn't be there with all of the rooms untouched, so. Yeah. That's it. Done the job.

(later) No, I shouldn't lie, should I? What's even the point.

It smells empty now, the house. Desolate. Like a place where people haven't lived for a long time, even though I've literally been there. I can't seem to fill it up on my own. I'm not enough.

Many things there. Memories. Found Bobby's old book about horses. He fucking loved horses, that kid. Couldn't remember where he put his shoes but recited dozens of breeds by heart. He dreamt we'd turn the house into a ranch. It was that one year when our folks shut the Quarry down cause Bobby was getting bigger, and more and more different, and he needed more attention instead of less. He was obsessed with the idea for months, driving Ma insane. Chris finally had to step in and say, 'Hey, I'll do you one better. We'll reopen the camp, and you'll have lots of kids to play with, how's that?' Bobby almost shat his pants with happiness. Poor lonely kid. I was too grown-up and off to college, and Chris was too… I don’t want to say normal, but maybe he was. He had his own friends. Bobby was with Ma most of the time and Ma was… well, she was Ma. Out of us three, Chris was the only one who had his special way with her. So they decided to reopen. I don't know if Bobby ever remembered the ranch idea again because I think, from then on, he slept and saw himself with a bunch of kids playing together on the camp's grounds.

Spent half an hour on the floor with that goddamn book, nearly crying. We should have got the fucking horses.

January, 17 Full moon. Don't know why I keep doing that.

January, 27 Moved into the station a couple of weeks ago. With all that space in the house, there's just too much, well, space. I'm used to having a big family, that’s the thing. Another habit. Anyone who grew up with one would know, it sinks it teeth in and doesn't let go.

Even C. and I, we went away for college only to come back home. I think, by then it had already been late. That's how Ma rasied us, always keep close to your family and care for it as best you can. We learned it with Bobby, and then with Chris's kids when they came along. We had been a wolf pack long before half of us turned into wolves. The house is cracked in the corners and crooked all over, and we were, too, with our issues and complicated relationships. It was never simple. At least, I knew who I was when I was there. A son, an elder brother, an uncle, lots and lots of strings upon strings. I don't really know who I am now. A survivor, I guess. I survived my family. Any one of us would say that's worth a gold fucking medal.

February, 3 Apparently, in order for it to help, it's supposed to hurt. Catharsis.

Don't have much time to write, but I got on one of those websites for people who lost someone. There are therapists there, too, so you can talk to them if you need to.

Long story short, after a few false-starts, I found Doc Morgan. She was okay. Talked to me for a while about loss, about myself, too. How I’m eating, how I’m sleeping, agitations, fixations. There was, surprisingly, a lot to say. That’s when the catharsis thing came up, I was talking about how Chris was writing and I was trying, too, but it wasn’t working. Then she started asking questions about my family and how I lost them, when it happened (this I could answer) and how (this I couldn't), so I had to drop it.

Before that, she also said I 'harbor a lot of guilt'. No shit, Doc. I wish there was someone to talk about it with. Someone who knew the truth.

Catharsis, huh? Shit.

March, 8 Thirty-five years on the force, and that’s the first time it happens. Got shot on the job. Nothing deadly, a bullet in the arm. Had to wear a cast for a month, so writing is more of an exercise now. Some punk was trying to rob the petrol station, things went south, and I got a bullet, that’s it. Guess hunting werewolves makes you cocky enough to underestimate an ordinary dick with a gun.

Anyway, the whole thing blew out of proportion, and I got handed an award and got my picture taken. Sweet fucking Jesus. I bet they knew there’s no other fool who’d agree to patrol this god-forsaken piece of land, so they were sucking up like hell.

Two new postcards came. This is getting annoying. Haven’t had a look yet, just noticed them in the mail box.

February 16 was the full moon. Still restless.

March, 9 ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.

The postcards. Almost forgot about them again, but went to take a look.

One looks kind of vintage, with two dogs sharing a bone and the ‘I don’t have a bone to pick with you’ phrase in a heinous font. The other is a goddamn get-well card sent by post.

I looked the address up, should have done that long ago (some cop!). It’s a dorm address, for the NYS College of Veterinary Medicine at Cornell University. A vet college.

I don’t know if I’m tired or pissed. Both. Pissed, more. Who does she think she is sending me postcards? Why? Is this a joke, does she think we’re friends? Why would I ever want to hear from her? What in hell are those writings? Got a hold of the previous card, the Christmas one. ‘I’m okay’. And now, ‘I don’t have a bone to pick with you’. God, and the get-well one, too. She must have checked the local papers to see that article. The sheer ARROGANCE. Should have left her right there in that basement with Chris.

(later) Got so wound up that I drove to the nearest post office. Picked the one white card there, the one you’re supposed to draw on to make it personal. Left it blank, wrote STOP IT on the back, and sent right away. This has got to end.

March, 18 Full moon. Up all night again. This, too, has got to end.

March, 26 Went patrolling again and drove to the Quarry by the end of the shift. There’s nothing horrifying on uneasy about it in morning light, just a bunch of wooden cabins with sun shining on the surface of the lake. Almost peaceful. Walked around for a while there, thinking. You’d never guess how close to the earth lie the dark secrets hidden all around.

I don’t know what to do with it. The main cottage is ruined, and I don’t exactly have the time or money to repair it. Even if I did, I certainly can’t run it on my own. Chris knew his way around, he loved it. Really, loved it. Spent hours designing improvement plans, or getting the best deals for food delivery, or talking with kids. He was a natural. I’m no Chris. I can’t really fill his shoes, never could.

I’ll probably have to shut it down or resell. The thought doesn’t sit right. I’m on the verge of the right, reasonable decision but can’t make it for the life of me. It’s all wrong.

April, 4 A postcard came. Of course. I guess I felt it in my guts that it would.

A profound-quote kind this time, the type that’s used for aesthetics, not for actual posting.

Stood by the mail box for a good minute. I think I understand now.

Catharsis.

April, 13 It’s time now, makes no sense to postpone it any longer. In order for it to help, it’s supposed to hurt.

I have always, all my life, tried to be a good person. Do the right thing, make the right decisions. I am a police officer, for God’s sake, have been for thirty-five years. I swore to protect people. But Ma also raised us to protect the family. What does one do when being a good person contradicts being a good brother, a good son?

I harbor a lot of guilt, Doc Morgan said. Damn right, I do. Good people, innocent people died, because I made a choice. All it takes is one broken oath, because once you break it, there’s no going back. There’s no clear path, nowhere to put your loyalty. All you can do is keep going, further and further into the woods. And along that road, there’s always a choice. People you don’t know, whom you’d sworn to protect, or your family, whom you love. Who do you protect? Whose life do you save? They don’t have answers in the police academy. It’s like that ethical problem where you’re riding a trolley without any sort of brakes, and if you keep on your track, you’ll kill a bunch of people, but if you make a choice to pull the lever and switch the trolley to another track, you’ll only kill one. They say the answer is often ‘don’t switch, don’t take that responsibility, let it ride’. Here’s where the catch comes in. What if those people are your family? One stranger seems like a reasonable enough sacrifice to save the ones you love. Here’s another catch. What if this situation comes up over, and over, and over again? And what if you pull the lever so many times that the pile of bodies grows out of control? Does a good person still do it? Does a good son?

He does, it turns out, because no one ever says: enough. Not one damn person. Dad didn’t say it, Ma certainly never did, not even Chris. The good son, the golden son. I can’t hold it against him, really, we all loved him. He was the kind of person who made everything better simply by showing up with his broad smile and stupid jokes. It just so happened, that the choice was mine, and there were always switches, and Chris was always on the tracks. His children, too. Ultimately, all of us. And once I stopped making that damn choice, the trolley rode right through.

‘Guilt is a ravenous creature,’ that’s what it said, on the postcard. It is, indeed. It’s the never-ending tear between ‘what if I never pulled the lever’ and ‘what if I pulled it just one more time’. It’s people you swore to protect but didn’t, and family you were raised to protect but didn’t. The guilt of not being a good person and not being a good son.

I’ve split myself over it so much I can hardly feel the halves, so I’m saying: enough. I’ve done enough. I’d loved them and protected them as best I could but the truth is, the most important choice is to stop sitting in a crashed trolley contemplating your choices. One person with a rope can’t pull everyone else back from the well. At some point, you’ve got to decide to cut the rope. I’m doing just that. I’ve spent enough time being a good brother and son. Maybe I can try being a good person again now.

April, 14 Went to send a postcard. I don’t know what she’s gonna make of it and if she understands at all. The whole thing is just too hard to explain. Catharsis.

For a second, I even thought of tearing out the last entry and sending it as a letter, but shit, the drama. So I went to the camp and took one of the Quarry postcards instead, from the souvenirs stand. Didn’t know what to write. Then just wrote THANK YOU. Maybe it helps her guilt, too, the one that’s been making her send those cards.

I hope so. God, I hope she understands.

April, 17 Full moon yesterday. Slept through it.

May, 1 The answer came. LIKEWISE. She did understand.

P.S. July, 7 I didn’t plan on writing anything else, but then another card came. A happy-birthday card, an absolutely idiotic one, with printed cake, and candles, and confetti.

I’m not even gonna ask how the hell she knew.

But then again, I could always send a postcard and find out.

#i'm still not sure if it shouldn't have been a shorter post but here we are #i promise i'm gonna do other characters some time soon :D #the quarry #the quarry fics #travis hackett #travis hackett fics #laura and travis brotp rights #travis hackett meta #laura kearney but like she's not even named here #BUT SHE IS IMPORTANT #anna writes the quarry #the quarry spoilers #tw: trauma #healing

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