#the reason i don't post about him as much as i watch him is i don't know what his tag here is ;__;

[byerseason]

why byler is the only logical way to end stranger things: a personal opinion

long post incoming. i've been thinking about what else can they do other than canon byler or is there any logical way which would please everyone. but i genuinely can't find any logical ending.

first of all, let's see the options i heard from people who doesn't think byler is gonna happen.

not adressing will's love for mike, mike never finding out about it and will's arc simply focusing on supernatural part : well, we all know that's impossible. not after spending a whole season to show us his deep love for mike. also it's confirmed that an emotional arc for him is what is gonna tie up the story.

"his love for mike was for him to explore his sexuality, he's gonna have another boyfriend." : they could easily show it to us without bringing mike into it. the byers moving to california was a perfect chance for it since it's a place better than hawkins when it comes to LGBT, they could easily give him a love interest, include him to their journey to find el just like they included argyle and give him a good character arc in s5, just like robin in s4. well, they didn't.

"mike is gonna reject will" : okay, then what was the reason of making him fall in love with mike? did the writers want to write a horrible story for the only gay child in the group? especially after showing us how miserable he feels about mike and how much he loves him? no.

now let's look deeper at the character arcs. my biggest reason to think byler is the only logical way is: will byers

i don't think i have to mention how much will suffered throughout the show and how he needs the happiest ending. they left season 4 at a point where everything about that love triangle is unresolved and they're obviously going to do something with it.

we all know mike is the one who understands will the most. he always been, since the very beginning. we've been shown that their bond is different and special. in a scenario where mike rejects will, we all know this is gonna be ruined. will is not gonna magically bury his love and go back to being besties with mike. and for mike, it's not possible for him to ignore will's love for him and stay friends as nothing happened. it would ruin their friendship for absolutely nothing.they can't simply take the only one who understands away from him.

will said he wants to spend the rest of his life with mike for two times. even if he doesn't have any hope, he desires it. so why giving him a love that he will never have? in this scenario will's character arc is literally "the gay kid always thought he will never have love just because he is gay, he thinks it's wrong and he is a mistake, well yes, he was right! he will never find the love and just watch the other straight people have it. thanks for watching stranger things." will's arc should be an arc where he is proven wrong, where he understands it's okay to love, where he is loved the way he loves, purely. otherwise his character arc is gonna be useless. where did we leave will in s4? he was thinking there's no chance for mike to love him and he has zero hope-- he ripped off the band aid. if mike rejects him the character arc and all the build up in season 4 becomes useless. he was at zero, and he is still at zero.

like i said giving him an arc where he is loved the way he loves was easy to be done without mike but now it's too late. they made it super clear that will doesn't want to be loved, he wants to be loved by mike. mike hurts him yet he still thinks mike makes him feel like he's not a mistake at all. that's not a simple crush. that's pure love. as a writer of a show you don't spend too much time to sympathize the characters love to the audience -something you never did with your other characters, at least not as much as will- you don't show them pouring their heart to a gift, just to waste it, just to make the character feel the worst they can feel just to make the person they love happy. will loves mike such a way that he prioritizes his happiness over his. this is what is gonna pay off.

the second character whose character arc needs byler: mike wheeler

mike has always been the most complicated character of the show, but most of his actions have no explanation other than him dealing with his own feelings. the show introduced mike as the leader of the party and i think it's okay to say he was one of the main characters in season 1 & 2. what happened after s2? a crazy character downfall. the audience started to dislike him and think he is useless. he didn't have any character development in the past 2 seasons. why? why? why?

because we all just watched him struggling. dealing with something inside of his mind that we don't know.

let's talk about a scenario where byler doesn't happen. this makes all mike's arc about being a love interest since s3. no development, no explanation for his behavior in the past 2 seasons. of course mike is traumatized and never talks to anyone which effects his behavior a lot. but there's still an unanswered question. why is he distancing himself from will specificially? the writers showed us that they understand each other the best, they know each other the best and notice if somethings wrong, so why is he distancing himself from the person who he needs the most as a best friend?

this is where we start to think if the problem is will himself, for mike.

why did we make will fall in love with mike just for mike to distance himself from will for no reason and make will upset? did we want will to suffer for no reason or create an empty storyline?

if mike is not how we think he is, he is going to end the show with an empty character arc who is nothing but a love interest, a side character. if mike ends up how we think he is, he is going to be the best onscreen representation of internalized homophobia. people think he is useless or just an asshole but he will turn out to be a perfectly written character who has his own arc.

people love to say "gay people didn't exist in 80s, byler would be unrealistic." which is completely wrong. gay people DID exist in 80s and they DID find love. did they have peace? they didn't. this is why mike and will are gonna be a real representation. we watched all the real struggles they went through. even if we don't get to see them as a couple, they will know they love each other by the end and that's what matters. and there's nothing unrealistic about it.

#byler #mike wheeler #will byers #byler endgame #byler analysis #byler proof

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

Hi i read your sad Grayson hcs and can you pls make Jamie's next thanx 💕💕

sad jameson head canons

YES! i love jamie sm, he's the best brother out of the four of them. this might resemble my sad grayson hcs post bc i find them quite similar at their core (i'm gonna make a post about that someday). again, trigger warning for self-harm and suicidal thoughts/attempts. pls don't read this if these things trigger you. i also got kind of tired near the end so the last ones aren't as good as the first ones. hope you like them<3

jameson used to watch his brothers and wonder if he actually belonged in the family with them.

he has random scars all over his body. he tells people they're from his many risky adventures but, in reality, they're self harm scars.

jameson, instead of denying himself food and water like grayson when gets self destructive, just does all of the risky shit he can come up with hoping one of those things would kill him.

when he was 16, he bought pills he was planning on overdosing on. on the day he was supposed to go through with it, though, nash surprised him with a day trip to the beach with his brothers. he had so much fun, he completely forgot about his plans. (there was a smiliar hc in the grayson post i think, but i actually think it might fit jamie better cause gray would feel like he couldn't leave all of his responsibilities behind)

he would use the shards of broken alcohol bottles he broke on purpose to cut himself.

when he gets mad at himself or anxious, he'll pull at his hair really roughly.

grayson once told him to kill himself as a joke, but jamie took it to heart and that's the reason why he has that really long scar on his chest (gray is basically the reason he jumped off of that cliff repeatedly until tobias caught him) (sorry grayson stans i still love gray though)

people who asked him out on dates always broke it off weeks later bc they found him plain and careless (which doesn't make sense bc he's not). jamie put everything he had in these relationships even if they only lasted like a week. they offered him nothing.

i mentioned this in my sad grayson hc post, but i feel like it applies to jamie more; jamie pisses people off on purpose to anger them and make them leave when he gets self-destructive. he secretly hopes someone will see through the act but they never do (except for avery, he doesn't treat her like shit though, but she knows when he does it to others)

jamie, as a kid, was convinced smth was wrong with him. he'd look in the mirror for hours on end wondering why it was so hard for people to love him and truly see him (and for him to love himself).

jamie saw a therapist for a while who prescribed him anti-depressants. she insisted he come back for more visits bc she was afraid he would off himself but he never did.

jamie wants help but doesn't think he deserves it. he thinks he's overreacting most of the time and won't let himself get better.

although it might not look like it, jamie actually tried really hard in school to measure up to xander and gray. he would study is ass off to get grades like xander's and grayson's (he was very very good in school, but never as good as his brothers, and that made him think of himself as unworthy)

jamie's waiting for the day that avery realizes that he's not good enough for her and leaves him, but she reassures him he's stuck with her.

when he gets mad at himself, he goes to their indoor gym and punches the punching bag repeatedly until his knuckles start bleeding (and even then, he might keep going)

he also takes scalding showers as a way to hurt himself (scalding as in might burn his skin off)

he's a nail biter. he also bites the skin around his cuticles when he's feeling really shitty.

he used to listen to the way his grandfather talked to/about his brothers and think that they'd be better off without him (tobias was never as kind to jamie as he was to his brothers).

ever since thea turned everyone against him at school, he sits in the back of the school library during lunch. he looks at the people hanging out with their friends whilst they eat wishing he could be more likeable.

he used to write letters to his father and give them to tobias hoping he'd send them to his father (he never did)

multiple times, while driving, he would consider purposely getting himself in a car crash to not have to deal with himself anymore

he used to ask nash if he was a good enough brother when he was younger. nash died a little bit inside every time.

jamie sometimes sits outside gray's door, crying, wishing he could someday be enough for him (gray in the first book is actually kind of a shit brother to jamie. he acts as if jamie is lesser than him and it pisses me off)

when jamie was younger, he would show grayson things that he did that he was proud of hoping grayson would be proud of him too. grayson thought he was being annoying (i love gray, don't get me wrong but i feel like he'd do this not knowing how much it meant to jamie...)

jamie never asks for help/advice bc he thinks of himself as a burden.

he used to steal stuff when he was little bc he was desperate to have smth that was actually his and not gray's. (emily, tobias' attention, etc were never actually his) (@catapparently came up with this one)

he doesn't believe people when they tell him they love him. he thinks they're bluffing/pitying him.

jameson accepts the bare minimum from people bc he believes no one would ever be willing to give him more than scraps of love.

whenever he has panic attacks, he bangs his head on walls to try to put an end to them. he ends up with big bruises on his forehead but pretends he got them from his adventures and shit.

he used to have nightmares a lot as a kid where the people he loved left him. when he would wake up from them, he would consider looking for his brothers for comfort but he never did bc he was scared that they would make his nightmares come true.

he hates being vulnerable bc every single time he's opened up to people, they either thought he was overreacting or didn't bother staying/helping him. whenever he saw them leave he would blame himself for being too much.

he practices his fake smiles in the mirror every morning. everyone sees through them except for avery.

he has this one blanket that he got as a child that he used to talk to when he needed to vent (he wouldn't vent to his brothers cause he didn't wanna bother them). tobias thought it was childish and threw it away. jamie didn't let anyone see, but he cried every night for a full month.

he had this tradition where he would cut himself whenever tobias called him ordinary or unworthy. the amount of scars on his body just discourages him and makes him hate himself even more.

a happier jamie head canon to end this:

he used to post tutorial on youtube when he was like 7. he had some for slime making, cartwheels, sand castle building etc. he actually had quite a large following bc he was a hawthorne. he always responded to fand and followed them back. the comments he'd receive always made him super happy (same, i love receiving comments, they make my day)

i know i've said this in every sad hcs post, but i feel the need to do it again. if you ever feel like life isn't worth living or just need help in general, pls reach out to a friend or a helpline. sending lots of love to everyone <3.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne #averyjameson

[getvalentined]

I've never done a full breakdown of everything that happened to my version of Vincent while he was under the knife (although there is a partial breakdown from like 12 years ago on Ask Vincent Valentine), but @spinejackel tagged my recent Vincent doodle gushing about autopsy scar (Vincent Has a Y-Incision headcanon supremacy!) so I figured it was probably a good time. This is also probably the best method, since I can apply the right tags and trigger warnings to hopefully keep it from hitting the people who would be disturbed.

For anyone who doesn't know, figuring out the fucked up physiology of victims of science is like my entire jam. I think this is what happens when you let a chronically ill child watch Akira and the original Bubblegum Crisis OVA and most of the works of Masamune Shirow. All that before FF7 even existed. This means that the explanation under the cut may seem excessive, and this post is very long. I've been building it over over a quarter century, I don't think there's any avoiding it at this point.

Warnings for body horror, nonconsensual body modification, medical horror and torture. Basically, if there's anything you can think of related to becoming a victim of science under the rule of an unethical sci-fantasy oligarchy, it's probably in here to some degree. It's explained plainly and simply, in clinical but not visceral detail.

My headcanons for what Hojo did to Vincent are pretty specific, albeit not precisely comprehensive; 27 years later I still don't really have a particularly solid concept for how he turned Vincent into a shapeshifter, although at least we know it's not something entirely specific to Vincent—Hojo repeated that facet of the experiment in Azul, but not in any other SOLDIER operative even in DeepGround, implying that it's only possible if very specific physiological conditions are met. The minimal concept I do have involves a twisted application of the concept of incarnate summoning as it appears in FFXIII-2, but it's very vague and also not the topic of this post. Maybe later.

Regarding the Y-incision/autopsy scar, my headcanon is that once Hojo tweaked Vincent into being able to regenerate from any injury—an enhancement that is confirmed to be entirely Hojo's work in Dirge—the professor of course felt it necessary to run various tests quantify the usefulness of his handiwork. He did this first by inflicting various surface injuries, then by causing more extreme bodily trauma, which eventually culminated in Hojo removing the majority of Vincent's internal organs in order to measure how long it took them to grow back and, assuming they did grow back, how the new ones compared to Vincent's original parts.

To be able to observe this as closely as possible, Hojo kept Vincent's torso open for the entire process—which he repeated twice more in order to check the weight, size and structure of the newly-grown organs in comparison to the originals. This study proved that most of them did grow back, but the majority of them stopped developing much earlier than was appropriate for Vincent's age and size. The difference was consistent, Hojo just never figured out why most of them grew back smaller and less-developed.

The reason this happened is based the fact that most of the organs in the human trunk are used in digestion and other related processes, and Vincent's regeneration means he doesn't need to eat or drink anymore. His body only expended as much energy as was completely necessary to develop those organs to the point of being functional rather than normal, because they're not really necessary. Vincent is glad he still has them, though, because he does still occasionally eat (usually in social situations) and also he'd be really sad if he couldn't even have coffee.

Vincent's brain activity remained normal during the entire process, although that may have something to do with Hojo driving a bunch of fluid lines into his head and flooding the inside of his skull with mako to keep him awake the whole time even while deprived of oxygen. (Rebirth spoilers, but seeing the bit in the Nibelheim Protorelic questline where Hojo does something super similar to this, after this has been my headcanon for decades, was a trip.)

Two organs didn't grow back at all: Vincent's appendix and one kidney. This was also the result of efficient energy expenditure, as the human appendix isn't necessary for survival, and only one kidney is really required. (Each time Hojo removed the new kidney, the one that grew back would be on the opposite side, which bothered Hojo to no end.)

His lungs grew back a little larger, possibly because his skeletal structure never quite recovered after his first transformation into Galian—his arms and legs are noticeably too long for his body, although not to the point of looking impossible, and likewise his ribcage settled to breadth that would allow for larger lungs. He doesn't really need these anymore either, related to his brain being exposed to so much mako during the process that it can now operate without oxygen if necessary, but switching himself over from aerobic to anaerobic respiration is really unpleasant and Vincent tries to avoid it when he can.

His heart was pretty normal by the time Hojo was done with him, although his heartrate had dropped to like 20bpm even when elevated. Again, if respiration isn't necessary, there's not much reason for the system to be active. (By the time Lucrecia was done this had dropped to around 5bpm on average, although it's completely arrhythmic and jumps all over the place when he's not either particularly active or on the verge of a transformation.)

This was the experiment that left Vincent susceptible to degradation, which Hojo didn't realize until after finally closing him back up. Upon realizing that Vincent's body wasn't responding properly to a different test (a repetition of an earlier experiment related to the regeneration of external tissues and features), Hojo just kinda threw him in a tube to be disposed of at a later date, kinda like that scene in Arrested Development where there's that dead dove in a bag in the fridge. The incision healed at some point during the period that Lucrecia was working on him, but early enough in her work that the tissue couldn't flawlessly regenerate (like it does in the present), leaving him with one more gnarly scar on top of all the rest.

Vincent is self-conscious about all the physiological changes brought on by what was done to him, often to the point of loathing. His left arm is the worst—it rotted off while he was in the throes of degradation and grew back as something that he hesitates to call his arm—but Vincent hates that Y-incision scar almost as much. Some days they tie.

(It has come up in appropriately horrified conversation with Shalua that, considering how his regeneration works, Vincent could probably get rid of all the scars on his chest if he somehow peeled the skin off his torso in a single swath. He will not be doing that. Besides, it might grow back the wrong color/texture/etc, like his left arm. Not worth the risk, much less the suffering.)

Also I gotta finish off this entry with the extremely stupid headcanon reveal that Vincent's (honestly fairly impressive) dick was cut off during the first round of bodily trauma regeneration tests—and Hojo has never felt the sort of rage he experienced upon discovering that it grew back bigger than before. This occurred early enough in the experiments that Vincent was not awake for it, and thus has no idea how the fuck this happened, and does not want to talk about it ever thank you very much. I've never mentioned it in public anywhere because it is extremely stupid, but I hope someone out there finds it as funny a concept as I do.

#vincent valentine #headcanon warning #body horror tw #torture tw #medical torture tw #it's all described in scientific detail #not visceral at all #but it's still very much horror #so please be aware #and do not engage if you're not into that #fandom ramble

[starlight-bread-blog]

My Interpetation of The Southern Raiders: Part 1 – A\ang

Warning: The views expressed in this analysis will be very critical of Aang. If you aren't critical of him in this episode, you aren't going to enjoy this post. This is your chance to leave. I probably won't have a debate for personal reasons.

——————

The Southern Raiders is probably one of the most discussed episodes in the fandom. Everyone knows Zuko Alone is great, but the discussion surrounding this episode is a war zone. In this essay I will try to answer every question posed in the discourse. This is part 1 out of three. In this part, I will discuss A\ang. I believe that understanding both Zuko and Aang's decisions in this episode will give us great insight into Katara's. Because the this episode is hers.

——————

1. Is Aang's philosophy of forgiveness valid?

(1) "Revenge is like a two-headed rat viper. While you watch your enemy go down, you're being poisoned yourself".

(2) "You do have a choice: forgiveness". // "It's easy to do nothing, but it's hard to forgive". // "Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing".

This philosophy is indeed morally sound. Revenge comes from rage, a negative emotion that causes harm in the long run. Forgiveness is letting go of that rage, which is healing. I cannot write a full thesis, this essay is not about that. But on paper, I do agree with A\ang. He's right to say that letting go of rage is a better alternative than getting consumed by it. (However, his philosophy might not help some).

——————

2. Was A\ang being insensitive when talking to Katara?

First I must reiterate, a lot of people frame the conflict of the episode as one regarding the ethics of murder. In my interpretation, it is not. During this episode Katara was in a deeply emotional place. Her rage stemmed from intense grief and those around her should treat her as a mourner - with great sensitivity.

Now, was Aang being this sensitive with Katara? Well, in my opinion, very much so.

Imagine a scenario where A\ang just happens to meet Haru, and he's about to go on a quest to find revenge on who imprisoned his father. He tries to help him with the following sentences:

(1) Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?

(2) Wait! Stop! I do understand. You're feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?

(3) I don't think so. I think it's about getting revenge.

(4) Haru, you sound like Jet.

(5) The monks used to say that revenge is like a two-headed rat viper. While you watch your enemy go down, you're being poisoned yourself.

(6) Haru, you do have a choice: forgiveness.

(7) No, it's not. It's easy to do nothing, but it's hard to forgive.

(8) You did the right thing. Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing.

Everything makes sense, right? The pieces fit.He just talks about his cultura\personal values, nothing about what Katara needs at the moment. He could have had this exact conversation with Haru without changing a thing.

Therefore his lines are impersonal and thus preachy. In this conversation he doesn’t show signs of trying to convince Katara not to end her mother’s killer because she is, fundamentally, a good person and couldn’t live having committed murder. He shows signs of trying to make her obey his cultural ethos. This is highly insensitive. Katara was in a very emotional place, filled with rage and grief. And his response was, intentionally or not, to impose his own cultural principles onto her.

But his lines weren’t insensitive just because they were preachy, some of them were judgmental and even harsh. When A\ang is first confronted with Katara’s intentions, he says:

A\ang: Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?

You can tell from his tone and how the rest of the conversation plays out that he does know what Katara thinks this will accomplish. He asks the question as a form of disapproval - that he thinks that going after Yon Rha won’t accomplish anything. He’s not being genuine, he’s casting judgment on her. He’s almost looking down on her and Zuko, looking down from a moral high ground and sarcastically interrogating the two. Another line that sticks out is

A\ang: Katara, you sound like Jet.

He says she sounds like the man who wanted to flood an entire village full of innocent civilians. He’s insulting her, and greatly so, all the while wanting to keep a moral high ground. This is incredibly rude and condescending.

In the next scene, right after the intense argument concludes, it appears as though A\ang comes around to the journey Katara was about to go through.

A\ang: I wasn't planning to. This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man.But when you do, please don't choose revenge. Let your anger out, and then let it go. Forgive him.

While he’s still discouraging Katara, it’s not outright condescending. But it’s as clear as day that he’d just preferred if she didn’t go on the journey at all. When he sees Zuko and Katara taking Appa to find Yon Rha, he says:

A\ang: So you were just gonna take Appa anyway?

Clearly disapproving of Katara. He doesn’t want her to go on the journey to find inner peace, he wants her to forgive the man who killed her mother right here and right now. He couldn’t change her mind on the subject, so he’ll advise her the next best thing. It is worth noting that in the beginning, before he advises her, he cracks a joke.

A\ang: It's okay, because I forgive you. [Pauses.] That give you any ideas?

Overall, A\ang’s behavior is unsympathetic and callous.Instead of placing his focus on Katara’s wellbeing, he preaches about Air Nomad teachings and goes as far as insulting her. Even when he comes around, it’s not because he realized his mistakes, it’s because he knew he couldn’t change her mind. And then he makes a humorous remark while giving him his supposed new found advice. The answer is: Yes. Aang was very insensitive when talking to Katara.

——————

3. Did A\ang know what Katara needed?

I don’t think he did. A\ang thought Katara needed to forgive Yon Rha, and as we previously established, without going after him. But even if we look at his second advice, she still doesn’t follow it.

A\ang: This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man. [Katara situates herself on Appa's head.] But when you do, please don't choose revenge. Let your anger out, and then let it go. Forgive him.

Katara explicitly didn’t forgive Yon Rha, and yet the whole point of the ending is that she’s in a better place now. No matter what Zuko says, A\ang didn’t know what Katara needed. And considering that his lines in the episode were as impersonal as they were, it isn’t a surprise.

——————

In conclusion, A\ang’s behavior in The Southern Raiders is questionable at best. He might have had pure intentions, and had a good message, but the way he put out the message was degrading and preachy. And in the end, he didn’t know what was the right thing for Katara.

#2. taking over and becoming its own meta lol #also “katara spared yon rha bcs of ang” will be discussed in part 3 #anti aang #anti kataang #zutara #<- tagging for reach #atla critical #zuko x katara #katara x zuko #anti anti zutara #pro zutara #zutara analysis #zutara evidence #zutara forever #zutara meta #zutara should have been canon #zutara nation #zutara supremacy #zutara was robbed #zutarian

[starsurface]

Hi friend hope the hanzo mk 11 with Baby Bi-Han Mk 1 isn't too much hassle as a fic I know it can be hard sometimes even with the requests just letting you know I don't mind how long it takes just hope you're doing well and it isn't causing you any unnecessary stress or worry 😊

Hi!!! Sorry for this taking so long!! I have my Fics on another request list, which you can check on my AO3. :p

But also thank you for the support and concern! I'm doing well!! No stress at all! Just Senioritist seeping into posting. <3

CG Hanzo MK11 w/ Regressor Bi-Han MK1: Bottles

 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

"If you keep glaring at it, it might eventually freeze over," Hanzo said as he added some honey into a bottle of milk.

Bi-Han huffed, moving his glare from the bottle, to Hanzo, then back to the bottle.

He didn't need Hanzo's silly commentary. Just like how he didn't need some silly baby bottle!!

"Hate it!" Bi-Han spat. "We get rid of it!"

"Have you ever dranked from a bottle before, Bi?" Hanzo asked, receiving another huff. "If you truly hate it, we have a sippy cup instead."

Bi-Han didn't like that choice either.

He found . . . friendship with Hanzo and Kuai Liang, as did his brothers. It was an . . . interesting friendship, at first.

Timeline merging was something Hanzo had gotten used to, especially with the events that happened here. Although Liu Kang- Uh, "Lord" Liu Kang's new universe was . . . interesting.

Not bad just . . . a different take on their lives.

Although Hanzo, surprisingly to some, enjoyed this universes Bi-Han.

He was still Kuai Liang's brother, but in another universe, one where he wasn't fully corrupted by Quan Chi. 

One where he could be saved.

Even Kuai Liang enjoyed his company. And it was almost awkward that he wasn't with them. But he was hanging out with the Scorpion Kuai Liang and short haired Tomas.

Hanzo and kuai Liang enjoyed watching regressors, and after finding Bi-Han regressing, and the entire incident (meltdown) that followed, they had started taking a small CG role for him. Even encouraging little playdates when one of them were small.

Bi-Han wasn't too keen at the friendship at first . . . But he wouldn't deny that they provided somewhat of a safe haven for being tiny.

"Don't need that either," Bi-Han frowned. "Cup."

Hanzo shook his head, "Your too little for big kid cups-"

"No!" Bi-Han stomped his foot. hanzo put a hand in the air, indicating Bi-Han to take a deep breath, which he did. ". . . Not a baby, Papa."

Ah, that's what it was.

Even if Bi-Han did regress smaller than others, he had a habit of indicating that he wasn't 'some baby'. Always trying to do big kid things.

But even with straws, Bi-Han had a habit of knocking over his cups. Or dropping them by accident. It wouldn't matter if it was just water. But the angry shouting and throwing Bi-Han had after was something Hanzo didn't want to encourage.

Bi-Han hated regression items.

Or, he feared them, to an extent.

Most of his items were kept here, in another universe, where his LIn Kuei couldn't find.

What would they say if they found their Grandmaster's paci? Or a teddy bear on his bed? He'd be reducuiled, he know he would.

Still, Hanzo and Kuai Liang decided that a baby bottle and a sippy cup wouldn't hurt him. And they would just store it at the Shirai Ryu temple, there was no reason to be all fussy about it.

"Of course you aren't. you just need a cup with safer cup, one that won't spill as easily."

Bi-Han wanted to call bogus. There were so many big kid cups like that!! He didn't need some baby bottle or sippy cup- He just needed a big kid cup! Why couldn't Hanzo see that?! 

He was be silly, and not in the good way.

Hanzo noticed Bi-Han's grumpy scowl, ruffling his hair, "You'll be okay. Just try it out and if you'd like, I can change it."

Bi-Han wanted to press more, but knew it really wouldn't get anywhere.

Well, it could if he reeeeally wanted it . . . But he also couldn't completely deny that he did want to use one. It was just embarrassing, using some bottle.

"Fine," Bi-Han grumbled.

"There's blocks in the living room corner if you'd like to bring them out," Hanzo suggested, screwing the bottle cap on.

This sparked Bi-Han's interest. Blocks? he liked blocks! He didn't have them back at his place, but hanzo was more than willing to share his toys.

Bi-Han practically rushed out of the room, causing Hanzo to hold back a chuckle. Any sort of laughing would cause a tempter tantrum.

Hanzo shook the bottle before walking back into the living room, setting it on the low table. Bi-Han, who was in the middle of building his castle, paused his actions, glaring at the cup as if it were to attack him.

"The more it sits, the more it'll spoil," Hanzo warned him, sitting on the couch.

"Nap?" Bi-Han glared at Hanzo. 

Warm honey milk always made Bi-Han sleepy. Was Hanzo trying to make him take a nap? He wasn't some baby, only babies took naps!

"No, you asked for it?" Hanzo raised an eyebrow, receiving a huff.

Okay, maybe he had, but he wasn't going to admit it.

Bi-Han seemed hesiant. He tried to drink some, but quickly set the bottle down. It was too - Too embarrassing!! He couldn't drink out of it! Especially while Hanzo was right there, just watching!

Hanzo tried not to watch, amused by Bi-Han's actions. But he didn't want the milk to go bad. And Bi-Han was clearly thirsty, he couldn't have the little one go thirsty.

". . . Come here," Hanzo patted his lap. Bi-Han looked confused. "Lay your head on my lap."

Bi-Han hesitated, looking between his blocks and Hanzo. Eventually, he slowly got up, waddling with his bottle in hand.

He sat beside Hanzo, laying his head on his lap. Hanzo gently stroked Bi-Han's hair, holding the bottle to his mouth, which Bi-Han hesitantly accepted.

Bi-Han felt himself grow tired, sluggish. Warm honey milk always made him sleepy. But laying down, having his hair tussled defienty made him sleepy. He was only halfway through before Hanzo took it away, making Bi-Han whine.

"I think it's time for a nap," Hanzo said, putting the bottle on the table. Bi-Han tried to protest, but he just got shushed instead. "Shh, there's no need to fuss, I can see your eyes dropping."

"Ba!" Bi-Han angrily mumbled, making grabby hands for the bottle. "Papa, ba!"

Hanzo shifted Bi-Han to his hip as he stood. He grabbed the bottle, which Bi-Han quickly snatched and tightly held as Hanzo carried him to Hanzo's room.

He tried, tried, to lay Bi-Han down. But instead Bi-Han fussed and whined, clinging onto Hanzo.

"Nooo!" Bi-Han whined, pointing to the bottle that Hanzo set on the nightstand. "That!"

"Here you go," Hanzo tried to hand it to him, but received a headshake. "What do you want then?"

Bi-Han glared at Hanzo, as if he expected Hanzo to know what he wanted.

"Can we use our big boy words?" Hanzo asked.

Bi-Han pointed to the bottle again, "More Papa. . ."

"You want to lay on my lap again?"

Bi-Han thought about it, before nodding.

But when hanzo sat down, Bi-Han didn't lay his head on his lap. Insead, he sat on it. He clung to Hanzo's chest, trying to make sure that Hanzo wouldn't kick him off. Which Hanzo made no more to do.

Ah, he wanted to be cradled.

Bi-Han looked proud, happy in the fact that he had 'tricked' Hanzo to get what he wanted.

"You want me to bottle feed you?" Hanzo double check, earning a grumble. "I need words, Snowflake."

Bi-Han grumbled at the nickname, mumbling out a small, "Yes."

"Thank you," Hanzo smiled, grabbing the bottle.

It wasn't long before Bi-Han passed out. He felt . . . safe in Hanzo's arms. And with the bottle making his tummy feel all warm and happy, he felt all sluggish and tired again. 

Hanzo gently tucked him in, kissing Bi-Han's forehead. He heard the door click behind him, Kuai Liang walking into the room.

"Hanzo-"

"Shhh, he fell asleep," Hanzo shushed him. Kuai Liang nodded, walking over. Bi-Han's eyebrows furrow, curling more into himself. "Get out of here, you'll wake him."

"As if he can stand your heat," Kuai Liang rolled his eyes before noticing the bottle. "Did he take kindly to it?"

". . . Only a bit of screaming," Hanzo admitted. "But he seemed content after being fed."

Kuai Liang nodded, noticing hanzo's phrasing but not pressing further. Perhaps he would bug him about it when he wasn't in the room with the sleeping baby.

He just hoped Bi-Han wouldn't get upset for 'letting him do silly things' while regressed, again.

Or straight up ignore them . . . again.

 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Hope I wrote Bi-Han right. I like his character, but he's hard to get accurate sometimes. 😭

Also thank you again for the concern, it was really nice of you. I'm doing okay! Posts might be a bit slow for the next little bit (something bad also happened) but I'll be alright. <3

#age regression #agere #sfw age regression #mortal kombat agere #sfw agere #age regression headcanons #mk agere #mk1 #mk1 headcanons #mortal kombat 1 headcanons #mk11 #mk11 h #mk11 headcanons #mortal kombat 11 #mortal kombat 1 #mortal kombat 11 headcanons #hanzo #mk11 hanzo hasashi #hanzo hasashi #bi han #mk1 bi han #mk bi han #caregiver hanzo #cg hanzo #little bi han #regressor bi han

[cowchickenbeefpork]

How does the craving/yearning correlate to the NPD and BPD for Oswald and Edward? Mostly curious for your thoughts about it

tbh that tag was me going insane I don't fully agree with it now per se. I don't like the original post I made where I compared them to yearning and craving because I compared their relationship to that instead of who they are as people, which was my thought process. I'm not sure if I was right about yearning and borderline idealization, but i do think i was right about craving and narcissism (btw I only made that post because i was watching Contrapoints video about the fucking TWILIGHT books, and since i have the intelligence of a mere banana I connected her opinions on yearning and craving back to nygmobblepot and mental disorders because that is how I show my appreciation to anything I find cool. keep in mind the definition I am using here is stolen from her and she took notes from Shakespeare, Taylor Swift, twilight as previously mentioned, and SEINFELD FOR HER THOUGHTS. Still, she is a great YouTuber go watch her she is one of my favorites.)

what I'm considering craving as definition wise is a desire that can be satisfied but only for a moment, constantly needing to be refilled. its like craving drinking or eating, it will satisfy you but you will constantly need to do it over and over and over in your life, it can be fulfilled unlike yearning but never for long, you will always need to refill it since it will never stick. craving is also less personal than yearning since it doesn't acknowledge something is deeply missing, it provides a temporary solution for something that will which makes craving end up resembling more so something like lust instead of limerence

i view narcissistic supply similarly to this. narcissism as a disorder is just trying to keep your false self up, it can be satisfied for a while but it will always still need to be refilled because of the fact its not a genuine love for yourself. narcissism is like having an addiction to feeling special in a way, that's why the craving for admiration never stops, because since they don't naturally feel content about themselves, narcissism as a coping mechanism works as tricking both the self and others that false, idealized self is real. the craving itself is a cope to hide the yearning in a way, the craving here only exists because of a deeper deficit. edward is not aware that he yearns for love and admiration, he thinks that he can just get a bit of it and be content forever, but he wont. ( fun fact the false grandiose self is actually the main difference in bpd and npd, they do have alot of simliarties like projection and splitting and a want for admiration and love but borderlines dont have that false idealized grandiose self unless they also have npd on top of their bpd. this is probablyyyy why borderlines are more easier to maniuplate since narcissistic defendses are stronger and more durable than borderline ones, there is a reason borderlines often split on themselves while narcissists don't that much)

yearning is wanting your other half, it's wanting to inherently fill out that incomplete part of yourself. You could make a connection between BPD and yearning since things like idealization and chronic feelings of emptiness but I feel less confident in this one. the yearning will also never be fulfilled just like the craving is, Oswald thinks that he will feel fine when he finally gets it but his idea of love is idealized. That version of love he craves does not exist since love requires effort and work, and even if it did he would still fail at it because of his cannibalistic nature when it comes to love, nothing is enough for him, he will hold unto someone until their bones break. that cannibalistic desire ends up becoming similar to the craving in my head a little, because nothing will be enough. he also uses people to bring himself up ego but doesn't want to reflect on how his actions are selfish, pretty much downplaying or playing victim about it and acting like he is not as bad as the other criminals are ( both of them do this, to be honest, I would say it is different but not really besides which one plays up the other as a irrational fool more than a malicious monster out to get them and vise versa, they devalue and demonize each other in the same ways; both feel like the other just lied about ever caring for them)

basically what I am getting at here is ed thinks that he can just get his needs met if he does things that will only satisfy him temporally ( since he's a "cold logician MY ASS) and will not stop the constant, unaware yearning for genuine love while Oswald thinks he will be satisfied if he gets that, when he won't, he will want more and more until there is nothing left but bones. Oswald thinks his desire could be fulfilled perfectly if he just met the right person but no one will satisfy that hunger, he pretends he does not crave like Edward does but he still does. both of them have the same problems but both of them try to hide them differently and express them differently, edward is more ashamed looking like he is irrational and Oswald is more ashamed of being SEEN as a monster. ( neither of them like being viewed like that but both of them clearly have a preference for a different insult, edward just convinces himself that they are basically just ants who don't know better and oswald goes by a more the ends justify the means approach, edward does want to be loved and admired but he thinks that is not possible in the more traditional oswald way, so he does a bunch of crime shit instead to prove how smart he is and to get that love and admiration)

edward has the same yearning as Oswald but he pretends he doesn't, Oswald has the same craves as edward does but pretends he doesn't

#nygmobblepot #gotham #edward nygma #gotham fox #oswald cobblepot #NURSE HES OUT AGAIN #sorry if none of this makes sense #asks #asks open

[diamondsheep]

Happy Birthday to the Best Cook Ever 💛💛💛

#look i know that i talk about Zoro all the time but you guys don't know how much i love Sanji #he is actually one of the reasons why i started watching One Piece and i just LOVE drawing him #i have like 100 drawings of the curly cook <333 #anyway happy birthday to this idiot that has bringed me so much joy and has made me cry so fucking much (*looks at Sanji's Backstory*) #ily sanji thank you for being one of my favorite characters ever 💛💛💛 #hmm i'm gonna tag this as sanji week bc i used some prompts as inspiration lol #also do guys like individual posts with individual drawings ? or batches like this one are ok ??? bc i can post these individually ? #one piece #sanji #sanji week #blackleg sanji #black leg sanji #one piece sanji #sanji one piece #my drawings #sanji op #one piece fanart #i guess that otoko is here too lol #otoko #toko #diamondsheep art #my art #aww i just sentimental about this fool and bc i drew him in basically all his life stages ? 😭💛✨

[simplepotatofarmer]

oh squid kid <3

#technoblade #imasquidkid #im a squid kid #the reason i don't post about him as much as i watch him is i don't know what his tag here is ;__;

[benetnvsch]

PUT TWO PAWS ON THE FLOOR TWO IN THE AIR AND THEN JUST-

#GO KITTY GO KITTY GO KITTY GO- #Kunikida Doppo #bungou stray dogs #bsd #finally finished this sketchy animation lolol #kite draws #kite animates #new tag I don't plan on really using much but in case? #wehhh #art #fanart #animation #this is obv one of neco-arc's just for crediting reason lolol #I think more people would recognize neco-arc over kunikida though :''0 #anyway this was very fun imma edit him dancing to certain songs and come back when I have a really trashy one byeee- #hmmm ahudhjdkah #kite watches bsd #I forgor all my tags sweats #fun fact I cannot ever post my gifs straight to twitter it never works so I always post em here first download them and then post that copy #to twitter- maybe it's something about the formatting? size should be within range so idk why it never accepts it </3 #update from the next morning: changed the main file cuz I cleaned up a bit of things :'0

[jestroer]

I'm not usually a person to post on many serious matters not regarding fandom on here, but as someone who watched a lot of his stuff and posted about him in the past a bunch, I just wanted to say that I'm no longer am going to interacting with any of Wilbur's content and if you support Wilbur Soot then please don't follow my blog because you are not welcome here. All strength and love to Shubble in this ✊

#just felt i should adress this stuff cause its. yeah #its so messed up #his music really helped me through some messed up stuff and even if i wanted to listen to it now i couldn't even enjoy it i don't think #its just. man #i havent been watching much of sbi and their friends since technos passing but like. this still is such a punch for some reason #glad shubble is in a better situation now and that she had the strength to come out with this. this is such a mess #tw abuse #Wilbur soot #im not gonna make more posts about it or rb much stuff if its not support for shubble #cause i try really hard to have my blog be a positive space for myself and for people who enjoy my art and my blog #but like. wilbur is such a godawful person and its like. with dream i just always thought he was annoying asshole #if not an absolutely awful person although you know i don't rule it out #but with Wilbur like. i never thought about him this way and now that i do a lot of stuff feels. well bad #there are a lot of things that seem really bad with this context. #its just. man. what a fucking asshole. don't even have words for this

[densitywell]

ultimately the thing about the, "how dare the rest of Bells Hells debate whether to save the gods or not when Orym's family was killed by the people trying to kill the gods" take is that a personal tragedy is not a determinative argument, especially wrt an issue this fundamentally world-altering. its completely understandable that Orym finds the deaths of Will and Derrig inextricable from this topic. what's being demanded of him emotionally is enormous. but nothing about being in opposition to the gods requires that someone take the actions Ludinus and the Ruby Vanguard have taken, and they are far from the sole representatives of this ideology. and Will and Derrig's actual feelings regarding the gods had very little to do with their deaths.

(and, really: if the deaths of Orym's family makes questioning the gods' place unconscionable, than what does Aeor make of supporting them?)

beyond that: the discomfort of a single individual does not disallow a topic from discussion. it's an indication to tread lightly, with care and patience for that individual. but it is not grounds to consider a conversation as vast and complex as this one decided. especially given that Orym is far from the only member of the Hells who has intense emotions and traumas tied up in this; Orym's feelings should not take precedent over, for example, the negative experiences Ashton and Laudna have had with gods and their followers.

but also, like, even if you truly believe that anyone being ambivalent or antagonistic towards the gods in this situation is self-centered and wrong, unconditional support is simply not where the Hells are at. and if they don't talk about it now, they're gonna have to talk about it later, when they're being asked to put their hand on the scale and there's mere moments left to act.

#critical role #cr3 #posting this now so i don't rewrite it entirely again hey #bells hells #crposting #anyways this talking point has been rearing its ugly head again. died down for a while there #and after watching ashton and laudna's completely understandable and highly emotional reasons for distrusting the gods #get diminished and invalidated and turned into their own fault at the same time as people were. dare i say. coddling Orym. well #(ultimately i think this is as much about how insistent a lot of fans are that unconditional support of the gods is the Only Good Take) #(as it is any particular bias towards Orym. although I think Orym's normativity is absolutely germane with that perspective) #(there's probably some dead body calculus you could do to justify Aeor and condemn the attack on Zephrah. if you wanted to miss the point) #conversely this is not saying ashton and laudna's feelings on the topic should take precedence over oryms. #the implication of the “it's mean to be against the gods in front of orym” take is that their feelings should not be shared at all! #or else they're being bad friends to him. hope this helps

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

sorry if you’ve already done this 😭😭😭 but could you do Avery and Gigi headcanons!! Like when they meet and become friends ((((:

avery and gigi head canons

OMG YES! i honestly didn't think of making head canons for those two, but now that you mention it, i'm extremely intrigued. might not be as good as my other posts considering we don't know a whole bunch about gigi but i'll do my best. i've also been working on requests/posts for literal hours so my brain might be out of head canon making power. hope you like them though <3.

gigi is always asking questions about avery's childhood bc avery has the weirdest stories ever bc of the way she grew up.

avery taught her self-defense after some guy tried to come after her. gigi is now better than avery and will most definitely end you if you try to hurt her (she may or may not have also learned self-defense in order to kill duncan)

gigi loves talking to avery bc she doesn't really talk often which allows gigi to spill her guts out. she always has so many different stories to share and stuff, but most people don't spare the time to listen to her.

gigi forces avery to do tiktoks with her (dances, grwms, etc) bc avery looks so awkward and uncomfortable, and it makes her laugh.

she will steal avery's coffee bc no one allows her to have any. avery knows she steals it but doesn't say shit.

gigi forced avery to talk about sheffield and what he did to her. gigi now despises (but still sort of loves him cause he's her father) her father. she didn't think he had it in him to do smth like that to a literal child.

she encourages avery to talk about her emotions and let everything out. gigi is like the mental health advocate (for everyone but herself)

gigi loves ice skating and wanted to bring avery to the ice rink with her. avery didn't know how to ice skate though so gigi taught her how to (their lessons involved a lot of falling, near death experiences, concussions, etc)

avery is like an overprotective mom. if gigi is getting bullied or smth, she heads to that person's house/school or whtv and beats the crap out of them (verbally). they always run away in fear and never bother gigi again.

gigi buys avery clothes all the time. she thinks avery is really pretty and likes dressing her up.

avery gives gigi her credit card and tells her to spend money on whatever she wants (gigi calls avery her sugar mommy)

for some reason, avery is a really good twerker (is that even a word) and gigi forced her to teach her how to shake ass.

gigi feels comfortable enough to open up to avery and ask for advice/vent. she finds avery to be really non judgmental and straight forward which she appreciates.

avery and gigi will constantly gang up on grayson and pull pranks n him (they once replaced all of his expensive skincare with cheap shitty drugstore skincare and he actually screamed)

avery helps gigi with her homework when she's struggling. gigi is convinced avery is a saint bc she always explains the stuff to her better than her actual teachers.

gigi is bi (at least in my head), and avery was the first person she came out to.

they both talk about how much of a fucking coward grayson is when it comes to his feelings for lyra(?). they'll be watching grayson and lyra and they'll be saying things like 'omg how fucking dense can a man be, like, just fucking confess', and gigi will be like 'i fucking hate men'

avery bought her a cat (idk if its been mentioned in tbh if gigi actually has cats or if she just likes them, but if she does own cats, just pretend avery bought her another one)

they go out together and buy her cat(s?) cute little outfits (tutus, gucci coats, bows etc).

gigi has (not anymore though) a tinder account, and avery found out about it. she absolutely freaked and deleted the account telling gigi that it was dangerous and that she'd find a man for her if she was that desperate.

avery never got to experience things that most kids got to experience (she grew up too fast/didn't have the opportunity), and gigi finds it sad, so, she brings her out to like trampoline parks and stuff. it makes gigi happy seeing how happy avery is.

avery is always apologizing to gigi about her father. she blames herself and thinks she should've found another way to escape (when she was kidnapped). gigi reassures her by telling her that there was no other way and that, after everything her father did, he sort of deserved to die.

they shit talk men. they fucking hate them.

in my gigi and grayson post, i mentioned gigi loves knitting. avery knows this and buys her yarn all the time. when she's out with max (or alone or with gigi), she goes to stores that sell yarn and looks for smth cool for gigi.

gigi and her family don't have much money after what happened in tbh. avery gave them all a huge amount of money. acacia feels bad, but avery insisted. when gigi found out, she was so fucking happy she literally knelt on the floor telling avery she was a literal god. she then cried in her arms.

gigi gets her to dress up in the most scandolous shit ever. she somehow found out avery's bra size/underwear size and buys her lingerie whenever she goes out. avery secretly loves it but pretends to be scandalized.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #xander hawthorne #nash hawthorne #gigi grayson

[shoyoist]

omfg 😭

#₊˚ପ⊹ soliloquy .ᐟ‍ #i saw that post going around #the one about “which character would you remove from a show for a petty reason” #and like listen #i fucking despise the character trope: “boo hoo i have such big dreams but i was born powerless in a place full of powerful people 🥺🥺” #“but then One Fateful Day i became the CHOSEN ONE” #“and hence began my journey to becoming the MOST POWERFUL OF ALL TIME!!” #genuinely i HATE that entire character archetype #and i was about to say with my full chest that i want deku completely wiped off the face of earth #because he's a trademark for that type of character yk and i HATE him so fucking much #but i realized just in time that the op loves deku 😭 #and now that would be rude of me if i said his name in the tags to that post #so i'll say it here 😭😭 #for a more petty reason i also want him gone because i want uraraka for myself </3 #i cannot bear to watch her resigned to her fate of being the male protag's love interest/his wife at the end of the series #like my pretty girl you deserve so much more than that #perhaps if they don't end up together i will allow him to live #unless and until them?? i want him GONE

[coquelicoq]

natsume book of friends season 4 opening sequence has got me incredibly fucked up. the lyrics. kid natsume's tiny little legs and teenage natsume watching him run. the lyrics. nyanko-sensei burrowing into his arms. did i mention the lyrics? ending frame on the fujiwara family. including natsume. because he's part of their family. as the lyrics ask him to "please [not] keep suffering alone"? somebody fucking hold me.

#i'm actually almost done with season 4 because i have no self-control. and every time i watch the opening i'm like #no this has only gotten more potent since the last time i watched it. we are reaching danger levels #natsume yuujinchou #natsume's book of friends #my posts #season 4 is the season of tanuma just completely destroying me on every level. why is every single character like this?? #every time he learns something about natsume he's like oh so this is what it's like for natsume? #and then it happens again and he's like wait natsume ALSO has THIS OTHER THING to contend with?? #and again: AND A THIRD THING?? WHY MUST THE WORLD'S BEST BOY NATSUME TAKASHI SUFFER??? #he just wants to help natsume deal with stuff and i am on the fucking floor #his thought process is just #this is hard for natsume. i wish i could help him. maybe here's a way i could help him? he doesn't want me to though because it would #put me in danger. but i don't want him to be in danger either. and i'm telling him that to his face. i don't think it's really #gotten through to him but that's okay i will just keep telling him. now i'm realizing that the thing i did to help him maybe just made #things harder for him. this is hard for natsume. i wish i could help him. maybe sometimes the best way to help him is to just #respect his wishes and yet remind him that he can lean on people and that people love him as much as he loves them #the part where tanuma realized why natsume doesn't tell the fujiwaras about youkai gutted me #this kid is so emotionally astute and such a sweetheart #i just watched the episode where natsume loses his picture of his parents and his old house is getting sold and i cried. SO many tears. #tanuma putting his foot down for once like no actually you need to admit that something is bothering you this time #we can find this picture. ask us to help you do this thing that we can actually do for you. you don't need to be sad for no reason #mmm can't be coherent about it just rest assured it was extremely harmful to me and also exactly what i needed #anyway the season 4 opening song as the thing you say to your younger self who lives inside your current self because #you can't actually go back in time and be the person your younger self needed to have in their life. so all you can do is love that child #in absentia but so so so fiercely and with your whole entire heart #all you can do is give your current self all the love you have for the child you were #jesus CHRIST

[tracybirds]

not to project too hard onto a fictional character but at what point did it just become so standard for John to get high grades in academics that his family stopped acknowledging it because that was the norm

#is this bc i told my family about my results and literally no one said anything despite responding to my second question #so i know they saw it #yes 😔 #come on fam I'm allowed to be proud and excited and I want to share that 🥺🥺🥺🥺 #yes I DO want to be told congrats for every result I worked hard for that!! #how is it that my friends and colleagues are more hyped than you i don't get it #(i will make character sad for the same reasons as me watch out) #anyway my family are very lovely but alas tall poppy syndrome is rampant #and i'm just more senstive bc the sads are here for other reasons #but also dude :( #idk #also this is not a post meant to be like john's soooo much smarter than everyone else bc he is not and I'll die on that hill #they're all smart #but i do like the idea of him being into academics and basing just a bit too much of his self esteem on his grades #and falling just a wee bit on the arrogant side of pride when it comes to those smarts #bc that is something I do unfortunately relate to 🤪🤪 #forreal physics students get a bit of a god complex and are super insufferable for a few years source: me #so #am i rambling to make myself feel better yes #poking fun at john is a favourite past time of mine what can i say #anyway releasing this into the world bc screw it #then I should probs make dinner bc it's getting a bit late

[magentagalaxies]

went to toronto again for new years weekend and spent pretty much the entire time hanging out with paul bellini which included us rewatching a bunch of episodes from kith s4 during dinner on new years eve. and y'know the second best thing about watching kids in the hall with paul bellini is getting to hear a bunch of behind-the-scenes backstory about the inspiration for sketches, previous versions that never saw the light of day, , etc. but the actual best thing about watching kids in the hall with paul bellini is when an entire sketch will play without comment and at the very end he goes "the fuck was that?"

#i already sent a similar thing to the kith discord like right after this happened but i can't stop thinking about it that was so funny #the specific sketch he was reacting to was mark's monologue about having no sex appeal #(paul had completely forgotten that one bc he didn't write it and he wasn't even there the day it was filmed) #we were specifically watching s4 bc he's seen seasons 1-3 fairly recently but s4 he's less familiar with #partially bc he and scott spent so much of the year working on chalet 2000 #but yeah i'll do a full end of the year post as soon as i get the rest of the pics from hanging out at bellini's apartment on new years eve #but yeah this weekend was so fucking good. like we've really come full circle #from the days when i'd joke on here that ''paul bellini is my bestie'' bc he replied to my comment once #bc now i genuinely consider him one of my closest friends and it seems like he sees me that way too #like just the fact that we were hanging out all day both days i was in town even if it was just like running errands together #and any time someone called him he'd make sure to mention ''jessamine's here!'' and he sounded so happy about that #and we watched the video of my standup final together which i used to cringe at just bc i low key bombed in front of the second audience #like i think the performance itself was great the audience just wasn't giving me any reaction #but even tho paul had clearly watched that video multiple times he was still laughing at a lot of it #and making sure to note whenever he genuinely thought i had a great joke which was often #so now i have a completely different association with that set bc i got to see bellini enjoy it #i don't have a specific favorite kith member (i know it seems like it's obviously scott but i love them all for different reasons) #and it's also complicated by knowing some of them irl bc my relationship to each of them is so different and great in their own ways #but yeah there's something so special about my friendship with bellini #i'm so excited to move to toronto full time next year bc i already know i'm probably coming over to paul's for dinner at least once a week