#the recipe of ultimate shipping

[ryllen]

Please read this by putting it through google translate image translation feature on phone and cry with me,

or i can summarize it to you

"Why does human help the weak?" [ You just do it automatically, don't u think? ] - Kalim [ I was taught to do so. ] - Deuce [ Helping others is a beautiful thing. ] - Rook [ It's a natural for the strong to help the weak. ] - Riddle

[ It's just human's instinct of wanting to survive together, is it not? ] - Trey Jade finds it weird, because in the sea, no thought will be given to the weak. The strongest will survive. Call it an ego on land if you want, but that is how it has always been in that big pool of deep never ending water.

Jade is a mermaid type who is rather sensitive when turned into human. Walking with legs feel like walking on knives for him. To counter that problem, he always had his transforming potion mixed with a lot amount of pain killers.

One time he started to feel pain on his feet, he refused to be helped as he is fixated of being a strong creature & not wanting to be positioned as something weak. When he finally let trey helped him, he kept asking if there's any compensation he had to pay for having Trey helped him. "It is just pure kindness for underclassman", Trey said. Having it not sitting right on him, Jade told Trey his secret about his human legs' sensitivity problem as a form of payment. "That's too much information for that price." "Such critical thing! I never tell anyone that information as it would endanger my life!" "So.., are you telling me because you trust me?"

"No. I am telling you because I want (to keep receiving) that pure goodwill from you, my senior."

"That's an unnatural & greedy remark from a benevolent Octavinelle's student. Such a bad boy, Jade." Trey touched Jade's face in soft scolding manner & it made the mermaid quietly flustered with feeling he never knew he could felt before. Finding Trey's affection dear to him, at some other time later, he pretended that his feet hurts. And he lied about not bringing any pain killers with him. Trey who was wary about lying Jade, used his magic to overwrite the pain on Jade's feet, so he could walk by himself. But Jade sulked. Because, rly, he just wants to be carried by Trey again. Sensing this, Trey gave in, and carried Jade on his back, pleasing him.

Jade then invited Trey to go to an abandoned castle. He asked him to dance with him.

"I want to look good in front of you. But I'm not good at dancing," Trey said.

"Good." Jade replied with a smile, happy with his awkwardness. "I am not familiar with human's dance either."

They started to dance. And flirted a little. "Your eye is like olive." (Typical TREY) And when they were about to kiss, 3 overblot ghosts broke in.

"'ll take responsibility" Jade said, instantly feeling responsible as he was the one who brought them there. He managed to defeat one of the ghost. But in the middle of battle, the usual pain started to seep in to Jade's feet. For real, this time. His legs gave out.

With 2 overblot ghosts left still, Trey put himself into the middle of the fight. "I don't have enough magic to both overwrite your pain & defeat these overblot ghosts at the same time. So, run away while I try to hold them back."

Jade started to think how unacceptable it is that he is protected by someone who is supposed to be weaker than him. He should have been the one protecting Trey as mermaid is a stronger being, however he is nothing but a hindrance right now. Trey would even win the fight if it was not because of him.

So Jade found a way. He made noise to get the overblot attention's. He directed them to him so he could take them out by letting the chandelier fall over all of them together, including him. He was so ready to be crushed & took all those responsibility with him.

But, of course, Trey can't have that! Trey saved Jade at the last minute. He pushed Jade away, so the chandelier missed him. But in consequence, Trey had his legs broken as they were the ones that got crushed by the chandelier, instead -- together with the remaining overblot ghosts.

Jade who still didn't realize the situation, said "... Oh. That's too unreasonable to suddenly jump in, under the chandelier and come..." "I can't help it."

Jade slowly turned his head.

"It's too easy to want to help the person you love." "...So let me help you out." The horror of the current situation finally creeped to Jade's face.

"T-TREY-SAN! TREY-SAN!!!!!!!"

[ What do i do now?? What do i do??? ]

"Go, return by yourself even without me..."

Jade started to think of all his options. Phone? out of range. Magic? Out of the question, he just realized that his magic gem is now broken. The only mirror to come back to the school was at the foot of the mountain, while the castle they were in was at the very top of it.

[ Carry this person on your back. ] The voice in his head said...

"Carry this person on my back--?" he turned his head, and suddenly imagined the path of 'knives' he had to step on to go back. Not alone even.., but together with this person. ...The additional weight surely would pressed his feet harder to the ground, causing even more pain.

Trembling from the thought of the pain, Jade thought... "This is bad..., I only have one more painkiller...."

He took out that single pain killer in his pocket, and put into his mouth, seemingly ready and prepared to walk, at least; a few steps back without pain. But no, he refused to do so. Trey is wounded. He must experience pain too right now. Lips-to-lips, he gave the wounded Trey the painkiller & let him swallow it.

"I'll help you now..." Jade said, repaying on Trey's deed & now walking back without painkiller, with his dear senior on his back.

His feet hurts. So badly that he started to bit his lips & let them bleed. The sudden thought of wild animals attacking them in this situation, made him shuddered.

Near them, he spotted a good running river.

...

[ I can just abandoned this person... and jump into the river. ...With that I can easily reach the foot of the mountain. ... With that, I can become a strong creature again, not the helpless one like what I am right now. ]

...

For a second Jade lost in thought of abandoning the weak like what the sea always taught him to do. But then, reminiscing how Trey carried him at that crucial time when he needed him to, he said to himself...

"No. That doesn't matter... "

"Because right now ..., I am helping him out of pure love."

And so, he kept enduring, until Idia who wandered at night to get his late night snack from the school's vending machine, found them who successfully came back, fainted at the hallway.

--

Time passed.

--

...

"Jade refuses to walk for awhile now." Floyd said, guiding Trey further inside to the longue. It might be because that event; so traumatic & painful, that Jade just wanted to forget entirely about walking all together. Or maybe it was out of guilt, for him being the reason that Trey had to be confined in the hospital room to recover & not being able to go anywhere. That's why, Jade isolated himself in the glass wall as a way to punish himself & share the same feeling with Trey.

"Sorry for the trouble." Trey replied, pushing his wheelchair with his hands.

"It's okay. It's Jade's own fault." Floyd replied, nonchalantly. Just like he always been. Oddly comforting, at the current situation. "Jade, sea turtle is here~~"

There he is. Jade, swimming in his mermaid form. Their eyes met. Seeing Trey sitting on a wheel chair, his eyes, glistened.

--

"So will your legs heal?" Jade was still in his mermaid form. He perched on surface of the longue's glass wall he was in, to talk to Trey.

"Yes."

"It's not just the bone fractures, right? It's also the ability to walk, right?"

"Of course."

...

Jade was relief. But he was still burdened with other feelings from the incident.

" --- IF I NEVER MET you, after graduating, I would have returned to the sea and keep being a strong creature forever....." "I am so scared and feeling so pathetic......."

...

Trey reminiscing the moment Jade carried him on his back, while enduring the tremendous pain on his feet, said, "You are...? At that time though, you looked like the strongest person in the world to me..." He patted Jade's head, consoling him.

Jade was relieved once again. " ... Trey-san ... " But it seems that this mermaid still has something in his mind...

"...When you risked your life, and let yourself be crushed under the chandelier..., was it all just because of the natural instinct inhabits in your body, OR-"

He didn't finish his question, and yet Trey answered. "It's because, I like you."

...

Jade proceeded to come out of the water, having his tail transformed to legs, once again after a long while. He approached Trey who sat there still with his immobilized legs.

"...I never thought I would ever need my legs again... He gazed Trey in the eyes. "But it is necessary...." "...There are a lot of things I want to do with you, with these legs..."

"...Many..."

And they both shared a kiss, which became the start of everything else.

#treyjade #twisted wonderland #twst #jade leech #trey clover #they gave me peace they gave me laughter they gave me pain #the recipe of ultimate shipping #pls don't s t ab me if i did not get the precise translation correct #and please excuse me for writing in elementary school level #i have english test next week and i am so doomed like this #but i hope the feeling transfers if u did choose to read my writing instead of translating the doujin pages directly #i am so happy that i actually manage to drag people to treyjade ocean *weeping* #i hope you guys manage to keep that endearment live for a long time in the corner of your heart #some fanartists keep picking up the mermaid having the knives walking painful sensation for angst #it works everytime #i am no big brain #these fanartists are doing all the GOD's works for treyjade with actual depth #the true servers of servers

[moments-on-film]

Moments on Film: Carmy’s True Purpose

Hello everyone! I hope you’ve been well. I haven’t posted in a while, life has been hectic, but I wanted come back to share a post I had been working on this Fall. It’s is a follow up post to my series, Carmy doesn’t know who he is yet. I have one more piece to share in this series. In the first piece, I explained how Carmy is not currently in touch with who he is and what actually makes him happy because his original passion, art, has been beaten out of him. So far in his life, Carmen’s done the only thing he thinks he can do, stay in the kitchen. But he’s not living a life and his heart is frozen.

Carmy is abused, traumatized, exhausted, and his heart is simply not in the kitchen anymore, and maybe it never was.

He suffers from severe nightmares, night terrors, and debilitating anxiety, and is sick and it all stems from trauma forged in the fires of the various kitchens of his life. Because of his extreme commitment to being a chef, and a great chef, he has absolutely no personal life, no friends outside of work, no joy, no sense of play or fun or happiness.

There are so many examples of Carmy’s heart not being in the kitchen anymore, from the first episode to the last. Carmy has also never fully exhibited the true characteristics, strengths and skills needed to be a great leader. This is why he always feels off. He’s not great at communicating, he is not in control of his personal triggers, which cause his personal life to impact his professional life, he is not good at any of the backend skills that are required to be the “captain the ship”, such as business acumen, finance, interpersonal skills. This is because being the leader of the restaurant is not his true purpose, it’s literally fixing everyone else up to run it without him and then leaving to go live the life he should living, and not his sad shell of an existence. He does have a very important leadership skill needed to do this: seeing beauty, seeing the best in others, and seeing other people’s strengths before they can see it in themselves. Let me explain. How Carmy’s skill will lead him to his ultimate purpose.

In season 1

When Carmy meets Sydney, he quickly assesses her skill and potential, and almost instantly relinquishes his power as the leader of the restaurant and bestows it on her, he says he will “dial business” and tells her, “you are everything else.” Ironically, he doesn’t even “dial business”, in S2, by calling the fridge guy, leading to his own downfall.

Carmy literally says “I can’t do this” in his nightmare in 1x8.

In the Al-Anon monologue in 1x8, Carmy states his purpose, maybe to “fix the whole family” by fixing the restaurant. This doesn’t mean his family by blood. As he tells Natalie in 2x9, “family is also not an exact science.” He’s talking subconsciously about his chosen family of Sydney, Richie, Tina, Marcus, Fak. And isn’t that what Carmy spent the majority of S2 actually doing? Knowing what each person on his team needs in order to be “fixed”, pushed to dig deep, make the most of their strengths, passions and gifts and achieve their ultimate potential.

A major major revelation for me that Carmy wants out and that he has no problem handing over the reigns to his capable team took place in the finale of S1. Sydney, not Carmy, brings Michael’s spaghetti to the table.

Gif source: @chefkids

This really stood out to me when I first saw it. I immediately thought, why isn’t he doing this? Michael gave him the recipe, it was the last thing he ever gave him, and he cooked it. It should have been Carmy. It really should have. Just like it should have been Carmy that created a dish named in honor of his brother. He didn’t. It is Marcus that has the honor. Again, the first time I heard Marcus say “the Michael”, when Carmy asked what the cannoli was called, I teared up and then said out loud, “that should have been you.”

In 2x1, Carmy tells Richie, “this shits not fun for me”, and tells Sydney “F stars”, and “we’re trapped” (if we get one). Look at his eyes in the gif below. He knows what it will mean and he doesn’t want to do it anymore.

When Carmy sees Claire in the freezer aisle of Potash Grocery store, he openly tells her he told Mrs. Kelly’s son “don’t do it” when he was asked advice on becoming a chef. Then he gets reflective and says, “I should really listen to myself.”

I discussed in a prior piece how “just keep going” has been Carmy’s mantra his entire life. It’s been his survival technique because it has had to be. He’s exhausted, traumatized, sick, in pain and desperately in need of a reset. In my opinion, in S2, he’s looking for any excuse to subconsciously jump ship, not be the captain of it, which is why he let himself get distracted with Claire.

For much of S2, Carmy is actually giving pieces of himself in the restaurant away. He gives Tina his knife, which is so sweet but it’s also a little jarring. He gives Marcus a “spot” in Copenhagen to train. Tina and Ebrahim get sent to culinary school. Richie gets sent to stage at Ever, a 3 Star Michelin restaurant. Natalie is the COO and has taken over the office. It’s no longer his, it belongs to Natalie. He is setting everyone else up to take over. Sydney is the CDC. He tells her, “it’s your ship now, Captain”, and she opens the doors, not Carmy, when it’s time to open. Carmy can’t do paperwork, or manage the business end of the restaurant, but he also isn’t contributing by innovating and being a consistent leader.

In the kitchen, two hours before the soft open, Carmy is finally “there”. He’s barking orders, catching everything he’s missed, but he is completely going through the motions. His commands are joyless. Sydney, Tina, and the crew say “yes Chef”, but there’s none of the teamwork, camaraderie, and dare I say, fun, as when Richie is running the pass and expoing with his whole heart when Carmy’s trapped in the freezer.

When Uncle Jimmy asks Carmy, “do you want to be the guy? Then be the f-ing guy”, you can see Carmy glaze over. No. Carmy doesn’t want to be the guy. Not the guy in the restaurant. Not anymore.

Even Carmy’s new monogrammed chef coat is another example of how Carmy is disappearing and fading away. His former coat had dark blue initials in an elegant cursive font. His new coat has his initials in plain font, in white stitching, barely visible, unless you look for it hard.

In the end, Carmy is locked out and left behind in his own restaurant because subconsciously he doesn’t want to be there.

I have written about this in various posts, but I truly believe Carmy’s character arc is to get back to his original passion, which is art. Michael knows this is a gift of his, and thanks to the menu sketches he drew for the new most important person in his life, now so does Sydney.

Michael’s final note to Carmen was the recipe for spaghetti for him to fix for family meal, the words, “I love you dude”, and “Let it rip.” But what if Michael was really saying find the money, take it and everything you’ve learned and FIX the family to go on with the restaurant without you (something Mikey was never able to do while he was alive) and then once you’ve done that, “Let it RIP”, as in Rest In Peace. Leave. Get out. Don’t be scared. Go for it. And discover the life you’re truly meant to be living.

©️moments-on-film 2023

#the bear #the bear fx #the bear season 2 #the bear hulu #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #sydney adamu #carmy x sydney #my thoughts

[letsquestjess]

So I heard you were doing fic requests (I stumbled on a post lol)

I'm not a big x Reader fan (sry 😭) but is it okay if I just request the bad batch relaxing on a forest planet in a cozy cabin? I just think that huddling up next to a fireplace, hot soup and hot cocoa would be the ultimate way to relax 😅

(Also writing this request reminded me of a drawing of Cross chilling in a cabin that I made a while back, is it okay if I tag you when I post it?)

Thank you and have a nice day! :D

Hello! Thank you so much for the request! Of course you can tag me in the Crosshair cabin post, it sounds so sweet! 😊💜

By the Warmth of the Fire

Summary: The Batch go on a relaxing retreat to a cabin in the woods.

Word count: 904

Warnings: None.

-- -- -- -- --

“That shower definitely beats the one on the ship,” Hunter said, padding out of his bedroom and tying up his almost dry hair into a quick bun before readjusting his bandana. Despite his efforts to tame the flowing curls, a couple of stubborn strands still flopped over the red fabric. 

The worn fireplace crackled, casting a soft, welcoming glow over the open living space. The metal poker on the stand had been scorched until the original metallic shine dulled beneath the constant heat, and Hunter was careful when he balanced the deceptive weight of it and nudged the larger surviving logs. 

“Where are the others?” Echo asked as he set the steaming bowls of soup onto the coffee table. Crosshair trailed closely behind with a tray of hot chocolate, placing each on the stone slab by the fire to keep them warm. 

“They shouldn’t be too long,” Hunter replied. Settling into the nearest armchair, he sank into the plush cushions and accepted the bowl Echo handed to him. He took a sniff of the curling steam and recognised the scent. “This one of Gregor’s?” 

“Yeah. When I told him we were coming out here, he gave me the recipe and it seemed easy enough to put together.”

The door groaned in protest as Omega, Tech, and Wrecker pushed their way inside, shutting out the biting wind and tracking snow behind them. 

“We’ve been waiting for you three,” Echo chuckled, assisting his sister in removing her coat and hanging it on the hooks. He guided her to a comfortable spot in front of the crackling fire and placed a bowl of soup in her hands. “Careful, it’s still hot.” 

With a nod, the girl brought a spoonful to her lips and blew on it before taking a sip. “It’s good,” she said as Crosshair draped a blanket over her shoulders. 

“The smell’s making me hungry,” Wrecker groaned. His stomach growled as he dumped the armful of chopped logs onto the dwindling pile and grabbed his dinner. He ignored the spoon and sipped straight from the bowl, letting out a small, satisfied belch. “Tastes great,” he declared, digging back in. “We got anymore?” 

“There’s about half a pan left,” Echo said. “I also cut up one of the fresh loaves if anyone wants some bread.” Sitting himself down on the sofa beside Tech, he took the last serving and savoured the warm, heartening aroma. His brothers tucked into their meals, and the sound of spoons on ceramic and slurps mingled with the crackle of the fire as it put up a valiant effort against the gusts invading the chimney. 

“How did your exploration go?” Hunter asked, glancing between Omega and Tech. 

“We didn’t go far, like we promised,” Omega replied, “but we saw a flock of ice birds.”

“Arcasia birds,” Tech corrected gently. “I believe they were preparing to migrate underground, otherwise we would not have seen them.” 

“Sounds fun,” Hunter said. “Did you get a look at the trail?”

“The snow is clearing, so if we wanted to go on a hike up to the springs, tomorrow would be the optimal day for it,” Tech replied. 

The tracker relished the warmth of the soup as he drained the last spoonful and set the empty bowl onto the low table. “We can head out in the morning,” he suggested. “So long as we don’t have any heavy snowfall overnight.”

As a howl ravaged down the chimney, Wrecker swiftly shoved the mantlepiece guards up to prevent the ashes from scattering. “Looks to be getting colder,” he commented, ensuring none of the smouldering flecks had managed to reach Omega. “Might be best to grab those extra blankets from the attic.” 

“Oh,” Omega said with a spark of excitement, “I have an idea. If it’s going to be cold, we could bring the bedrolls in here and sleep by the fire.”

“I brought Sabacc cards so we could always play a few rounds before bed,” Crosshair added, and Omega threw him a competitive grin. 

Hunter nodded in approval to the plan. “Okay, but if there are any arguments like last time, we’re leaving those cards here.” 

“It wasn’t that bad,” Crosshair reasoned. 

“Finish your soup,” Hunter told him in a commanding yet light tone. 

Omega wasted no time in grabbing her share of hot chocolate after she had cleaned her bowl. She took a small sip, relishing the sweetness, and offered the other mugs to her brothers as they mopped up the rest of their dinner with the fresh bread. Crosshair directed her to the Sabacc cards, and mug in hand, she disappeared into the back bedroom and reappeared moments later with them.

Hunter nestled into his seat and glanced around at his siblings. On the sofa, Echo indulged Tech’s ramblings, asking him about the various bird species he had encountered during his trek as he flipped through the pictures on his datapad, while Crosshair, Wrecker, and Omega got to work setting up the game. The brawler’s raucous guffaws warmed the room as he clapped Crosshair on the shoulder in amusement, and the sniper returned a tickled laugh. 

“Hunter?” 

Hunter’s attention lifted to Omega as she presented him with a set of cards. 

“Are you feeling alright?” she asked. 

“Couldn’t be better,” he replied, a smile spreading across his face as he graciously took the playing cards. “Come on, I’ve got games to win before we go to bed.” 

#fic asks #fic request #tbb #the bad batch #tbb fanfic #tbb fanfiction #the bad batch fic #the bad batch fanfiction #tbb hunter #tbb echo #tbb crosshair #tbb wrecker #tbb tech #tbb omega

[utilitycaster]

I've seen you talk about found family dynamics a few times and how its often abused in fandom and I know Bells Hells in no way fits this trope but I was wondering about your thoughts on Vox Machina and Mighty Nein within the dynamic or if it doesn't fit those groups either.

Hey anon,

So here's the thing: I actually think the bigger issue is that most people make a lot of incorrect assumptions that a found family is automatically functional and healthy and loving and ignore that simply because it is a family born of choice rather than birth. D&D parties are often found families, but they are also often a bunch of deeply traumatized weirdos who met by chance in a tavern, which is not precisely a recipe for the most well-adjusted dynamic. People can make terrible choices of family just as easily as they can be born into a dysfunctional or abusive family.

A lot of people also equate found family with "they need to stay together forever in the equivalent of the avengers' mansion" which is similarly not true. What is a family? It is an (often) lifelong bond; but the people within the family still also have their own lives outside of it, and might live apart while still loving each other very much. They also often forget or try to disparage the idea that characters can belong to a found family while still also having families by marriage or blood outside of it and might need to make compromises to balance the two, even though this is again a very true thing of families in the real world.

The cast of Critical Role generally gets this; the fans don't always. Quoting from episode 1x85 for the second time in like 12 hours but as Keyleth said, "I think Percy's right. We're worse than friends, we're family. And family leaves." I can't entirely define a found family - it is ultimately a vibe, and it is ultimately subjective - but I actually think Vox Machina and the Mighty Nein are both found families.

What's always been very revealing to me is that no one ever really disputes Vox Machina is a family, even though from the end of Campaign 1 until the TCSR was published over four years later, in early 2022, it was assumed that they were all living separately or in couples - Percy and Vex in Whitestone; Keyleth in Zephrah; Scanlan and Pike in Westruun; Tary in Wildemount; and Grog traveling the world but often finding himself in either Vasselheim or Westruun. Indeed, even with the TCSR and the fact that everyone has residences in Whitestone, Keyleth does usually live in Zephrah (though she can easily travel); Vex must spend time away from both the others of Vox Machina and her actual family by marriage and blood given her duties in Emon; and Scanlan splits his time between Whitestone and Ank'Harel. Perhaps it's that there were already familial bonds between the twins and between Pike and Grog, and that only Tary dated outside the party and the people who make this claim often forget him anyway.

People do frequently argue the Mighty Nein are not a family for parting ways at the end, despite this being no different than Vox Machina, and also actually being far more able to reunite quickly than Vox Machina can. I think it's in part because several party members (Veth, Jester, Caduceus) all did still very much value their biological families and a lot of found family people really do not like that, but also...look. Most Campaign 2 hate is a front for either being mad that Molly wasn't resurrected or being mad about one or more of the ships. I've never seen anyone whose only complaint was "I felt like it was a found family but then they parted ways"; it's always thrown in on top of being far more angry about several other things.

For what it's worth: I don't think Bells Hells are quite as bonded, but I do think they're on their way, especially if travel and communication remains messy and they're forced to spend more time on watch and sharing rooms (again: I think Matt's vision for this campaign is, in retrospect, actually pretty great, but it should have probably been communicated a bit better to the cast and more investment have been put in the character development to compensate for the challenges of this unique structure). My issue specific to the fandom response to Bells Hells as a found family isn't that I think they're not going to be a found family; it's that people who insisted they actually had the best and most honest found family dynamic and everyone who disagreed were just being haters suddenly turned on the proverbial dime when a character not in their good graces was the one who actually voiced it.

In summary: I think people in fandom, generally, place a disproportionate weight on found family as like...an end all and be all and forget that much like a family of blood/marriage/adoption, a found family can also take on many different configurations and have various levels of functionality and honestly and healthy behaviors; and in doing so forget to actually say "is this dynamic of closely bonded people fun to watch and interesting? then who cares what the fuck we call it." But I do think it's hard for a D&D party in a longform campaign of very close friends not to take on some familial traits.

#answered #Anonymous #cr tag

[tokkias]

alcohol free ship: natsu dragneel x lucy heartfilia summary: All it takes is a few drinks for Lucy to start doing things she knows she might regret in the morning, and unfortunately for Natsu he's the one designated to pick up the pieces. ao3

In all his years in Fairy Tail, Natsu had learned to hold his liquor. A couple of shots and plenty of beers had done little to faze him over the course of the night.

He couldn’t exactly say the same of his partner, though.

She was only halfway through her second cocktail when Lucy started to feel the effects of the alcohol hit her, and with Mirajane keeping them coming, well, that was a recipe for disaster.

Any other time, Natsu might have stepped in before she got to that point; drunk Lucy was… sloppy, to put it kindly, but after a few weeks of rough jobs, she deserved to let loose a little. Still, he knew he best keep an eye on her, lest she get herself into trouble. Or, at least, that was the plan.

He had only looked away for a moment, but in that time, he had lost sight of her within the sea of rowdy, boozed-up guildmates. Slight panic set in as he scanned the room for her, worried about what sort of trouble a drunk Lucy could get herself into. Thankfully, a flash of golden hair hobbling towards the bar quelled his nerves.

"Ah~! Another drink, please, Mira!"

Her face was flushed a deep red as she swayed from side to side, trying to keep her balance in her drunken state, before ultimately grabbing hold of Natsu’s shoulder in an attempt to stay upright. The last time he had seen her this evening, she was a little tipsy, but now, she was absolutely hammered.

Figuring that tonight was his turn as the responsible one of the pair, he spoke up before Mira had a chance to respond to her request.

"No. I’m not letting ya drink any more tonight," he told her firmly, deciding that if he wasn’t going to put his foot down now, she would make it both of their problems for the rest of the night.

"You’re no fun," she whined, a pout making its way onto her lips as she leaned in closer to him. She was so close that their noses were almost touching, her expression inscrutable, and he flinched back a bit as he was hit with the pungent smell of alcohol on her breath.

Mira’s voice would snap her out of her little trance: "I think Natsu’s right, Lucy. I’m going to have to cut you off for tonight."

Natsu silently thanked every god, deity and star there was that Mira wasn’t going to enable Lucy to make the rest of his night absolutely miserable. He didn’t like it when she got like this. Sure, Lucy was weird, but drunk Lucy was weird weird. She’d get all affectionate and emotional with him, and he never really knew how to respond to it. Sober Lucy had firm physical boundaries with him, but as soon as she got a little liquid courage in her veins, she would be all over him. If Lucy remembered some of the things she’d done while drunk, he thought she might have sworn off drinking altogether out of pure shame and embarrassment.

He couldn’t earnestly say he disliked the attention and affection she gave him while drunk. The way she swooned over him, the way she draped himself over him, the way her brain seemed to become nothing more than Natsu, Natsu, Natsu, Natsu, always had him feeling some type of way about her. He recalled a night where he had allowed her one too many, and she eagerly spent the rest of the evening running her hands across his arms and chest, admiring his form in a way that was a little more than friendly. The memory of it had been burned into his brain; her touch scorched into his skin, leaving mental marks that he would simply never forget.

To be honest, he liked the way she felt against him, but there was just one problem he had with it.

This wasn’t his Lucy.

His Lucy would be sure to give him a smack across the head if his hand trailed too low down her back for her liking, not clinging to him the way she was right now.

She had since moved on from her prior woes and had instead found herself attached to his side, her arms wrapped around his, pulling it into her cleavage as her chin rested on his shoulder.

"Naaaaatssssuuuuu~" she purred, "come dance with me~"

"No," he rejected point-blank, not wanting to entertain drunk Lucy’s antics tonight.

He’d watch over her, make sure she was okay and taken care of, but he refused to let himself be dragged into her drunken whims.

That plan shattered to pieces the moment he spoke, and Lucy’s bottom lip began to quiver and her eyes became glassy with true, genuine tears. As soon as he saw the first tear run down her cheek, Natsu knew that he had royally fucked himself.

"Is it because you hate me?" She whimpered, pulling away from him to hold her hands in her face, weeping into her palms.

"No, Lucy, I don't--" Her sobs and wails were beginning to draw much unwanted attention their way, and Natsu rested his hand on her shoulder in a bid to do some damage control. "I don’t hate you. Fine. Fine. I’ll dance with you."

That was one thing drunk and sober Lucy had in common: for her, he would cave so easy.

Eyes immediately lighting up, Lucy pulled him over to the centre of the guildhall with more force than he thought possible from her, joining them in the fray of guild members drunkenly bopping along to the music over the speakers.

Natsu didn’t dance. He was happy to sit on the sidelines and drink until the inevitable fight broke out, but he didn’t dance. Or at least, not in the way that Lucy wanted to. He really had no idea what to do with himself, but it seemed that no one else in the crowd cared that much, though most importantly, it seemed that Lucy didn’t care that much. She was happy to drunkenly move along to the music, throwing her head back and her arms into the air before pulling them back down and running her hands sensuously down her body as Natsu stood there and gawked like an idiot.

Judging by the stench of alcohol and the familiar company he was in, Natsu figured that he might just be the only sober one among them, and he wasn’t sure if that made this whole scenario better or worse.

Lucy didn’t give him much time to ponder before she forcibly captured his attention once more by wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her, and making him sway alongside her in time to the music. Her body was pressed up against his, her lips so close to his that he worried she was going to kiss him. And god, yes, he wanted to kiss her so badly, but not like this. Not in the middle of the guild hall with everyone watching, while she’s absolutely drunk out of her mind. Not when she wouldn’t remember it in the morning.

He’d always heard the whispers about how oblivious he must be to not notice just how damn attractive his partner was, but what they didn’t know was just how much he knew about her body. He was intimately familiar with the way her skin felt under his hands—with every curve and dip of her body, every scar, every mark. Natsu was well aware that Lucy might damn well be the most attractive girl he’d ever have the pleasure of meeting, of touching, but he just never felt the need to let his attraction be known to anyone, much less her.

They were best friends; nothing about that needed to change just because the image of her—her laugh, her smile, her golden blonde hair falling over her shoulders, her perfect pout, and her soft rosy cheeks—were all burned into his brain. Any way he might have felt about her that was anything but platonic had long since been locked away in the deepest depths of his brain.

The pungent stench of alcohol on her breath was unavoidable in their close proximity, but the way her lips were pursed like she wanted him to lean down and capture them with his own was much more distracting.

She was looking up at him, almost expectantly, waiting for him to do something that the both of them might regret in the morning. It was almost enough for him to disregard all his time spent locking away his feelings for her, as if she alone held the key to his heart. Any other night he would have let his resolve crumble beneath him with just how easy it would have been to tilt her chin up and press his lips against hers, but the part of him that yearns for her wants to taste Lucy, not the long island iced tea’s she’d been downing all night.

Her deep chocolate eyes bore into his soul, demanding all of his attention, all of him.

He dropped his head back slightly—anything in order to avoid her intense gaze—and sucked in a deep breath to clear his head.

"Alright, I think you’ve had enough fun for tonight," he told her, interrupting whatever moment she was trying to create between them. "It’s time I get you home, Lucy,"

For once in his life, Natsu chose his words with purpose, so neither she nor anyone else could choose to misinterpret his intentions.

Ignoring the deep pout on her lips, he detached her body from his and grabbed her wrist, pulling her away from the crowd.

"Leaving so soon?" Mira chimed from her spot behind the bar as she saw the two making their exit.

Not bothering with a verbal answer, Natsu simply gestured his head towards Lucy, who had found herself clinging onto his arm to keep her balance as she stumbled alongside him to keep up with his sober pace.

In response, Mira flashed him a weary smile that he could only assume was her way of wishing him luck on making it back to Lucy’s apartment.

Lucy stumbled along behind him, struggling to keep up with his fast pace as he practically dragged her along the streets of Magnolia. All he wanted was to get her home safely, put her to bed, and be over with this whole mess. He didn’t want to think about the way that she looked at him anymore, lest he let all the work he had done pushing away his feelings unravel like a sweater with a loose thread.

It wasn’t until a stray crack in the pavement caught the toe of her boot that he found himself looking back at her as his instincts kicked in, catching her in his arms before she could fall to the ground.

He paused for a moment to settle his racing heartbeat from her close call before having to remind himself that she was still very much drunk and struggling to balance herself. Even though drunk Lucy wasn’t his favourite, he still wasn’t about to let any harm come to her.

Making sure she could stand on her own, he tried to let her go so she could walk on her own, but she didn’t take kindly to his attempts, clinging even harder to him as he tried to pull her away from him, her forehead firmly pressed against his shoulder.

"Carry me," she murmured into his chest.

Deciding it wasn’t her worst idea of the night, Natsu obliged, turning away from her and crouching slightly so she could crawl onto his back. He stumbled forward slightly when Lucy chose to throw her full body weight onto his back, but he quickly found his bearings for her sake, catching her legs and adjusting his grip so he wouldn’t drop her. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she nuzzled her nose into the back of his neck, taking comfort in his familiar scent and the soft warmth of his scarf.

With sober Lucy, he would have jumped at the opportunity to tease her about how heavy she’d gotten, even though she was just as easy to carry as the last time, just to goad a reaction out of her, but right now he needed to get her home with as few interruptions as possible. As much as he might have liked to run down there, he kept a steady, even pace to avoid jostling his partner too much, fearing what would happen if her stomach were to become unsettled from the movement and the alcohol.

She had settled down a little since leaving the guild; perhaps her weird drunken behaviour was enabled by the weird drunken comrades she had surrounded herself with. It came as a small relief to Natsu, knowing that she would hopefully be easier to get in to bed in this state so he could finally be free from the curse of drunk Lucy.

He didn’t need to think much about the path he was taking; he had walked it so many times that it had become muscle memory, even with the full weight of his best friend on his back. It wasn’t long before the ever-familiar building came into sight, and he nudged the door open before trudging up the stairs.

He always kept the spare key Mira gave her in his pocket, but usually that was reserved for when he was here against Lucy’s will, and in her current state, he wasn’t about to search her pockets for the main copy. Lucy let out a soft whine when he placed her down before fumbling with his keys. Thankfully, it didn’t take long before the familiar click of the lock turning rang out, and he opened the door, guiding Lucy inside before closing it behind them.

His suspicions about her settled state were confirmed when she let out a soft yawn, rubbing her eyes with the backs of her hands as she did so.

"Can you help me put on my jammies?" She asked, stifling another yawn with her hand.

Knowing that she probably wouldn’t take no for an answer, Natsu begrudgingly rummaged through her dresser to find some appropriate sleepwear. He lifted her shirt over her head, throwing it on the floor to collect in a pile that Lucy could scold him about tomorrow, before pulling a fresh shirt back on her.

He knew that if some of the guys at the guild found out about this, he would never hear the end of it, but it really wasn’t like that. There was nothing sexy about it. He was just doing his duty as her best friend to take care of her. She was drunk, falling asleep in his arms, and he wasn’t going to let her go to bed in the shirt that she had definitely spilled her (or someone else’s?) drink on. He eased her onto the edge of her bed, pulling her skirt down and discarding it with her shirt before slipping her feet through the leg holes of her favourite pair of sleep shorts.

"There. Now ya can go to bed," he told her, giving her a gentle pat on the head.

Lucy stuck her bottom lip out in a pathetic little pout at the prospect of losing his attention for the night before grabbing his wrist to pull him a little closer.

"Tuck me in? Please?"

Just as he was about to tell her to do it herself, he met her pleading gaze and realised that he was truly fucking whipped.

With a defeated sigh, he pulled back the sheets for her to crawl into before pulling them back up to her chin and tucking the excess fabric falling off the edge beneath the mattress. She looked so comfy and content laying there, tucked in nice and tight beneath her soft sheets, and Natsu couldn’t help but smile at the sight, even after all the grief she had put him through.

All in all, he was just happy she had made it home safely and through the night without incident.

The sun had set many hours ago, and while he knew he could make it home fine on his own, Lucy’s couch seemed like the comfier, lazier option, with the added benefit of making sure she didn’t get herself into trouble when left alone. She would yell at him for crashing here in the morning, and in turn, he would brush it off like he did every other time.

Taking off his scarf and jacket, he tossed them over the back of the couch before making himself comfortable, rearranging the cushions as he saw fit to rest his head on through the night. His eyes fell shut rather easily, comforted by the soft cushions that his body sank into and the familiar smell of his best friend lingering all around him.

Sleep did not come to him before Lucy’s voice did, ringing out through the air, signalling that something was wrong.

"Naaaaatssssuuuuu," Lucy called out to him in a high-pitched whine, "I need yooouuuu-"

Deciding ignoring her pleas would only prolong her cries, Natsu pulled himself off the couch to make his way over to her bedside, where he sat himself on the edge of her bed next to where she lay.

"Yeah? What’s up, Lucy?" He asked, willing to indulge her while she seemed to be acting somewhat normal.

"I love you," she mumbled, her eyelids heavy, lashes fluttering as she let them fall.

Her sudden declaration did little to catch him off guard. They’d exchanged dozens of I love you’s in the past because it was true. He loved her, and she loved him—the same way she loved everyone else in the guild. Of course the words held weight for them, but not any more than they should have coming from any other member of their family.

"I love you too," he replied, brushing her fringe out of her eyes.

"Noooooooo," she whined, "I’m in love with you." Her eyes fluttered back open to meet his, and within them, he was met with a sincerity that he wasn’t sure he was able to comprehend. "It’s different."

His hand still rested atop her head as he tried to process what she had just confessed.

Lucy was in love with him.

Lucy was in love with him.

His Lucy, the one who could have anyone she wanted with a bat of her lashes and a pout of her lips, was in love, with him.

There was something wrong about her saying it.

Not because he didn’t believe her, not because he didn’t think that he was deserving of her love, but because she was still utterly inebriated.

"You’re just sayin’ that ‘cause you’re drunk," he replied, playfully flicking her nose in an attempt to lighten the mood and calm his racing heart.

"No I’m not," she murmured, "I knew I was in love with you when we were on Tenrou, and I was afraid we were all going to die, but then you held my hand and I-" Lucy paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts, remaining as eloquent as her sober self even after far too many drinks. "I remember thinking, wow, Natsu really is incredible."

Her eyes were trained to the ceiling, a dreamy look in her eyes, no longer acknowledging his presence even after she had just confessed that she had been in love with him for years now.

Natsu couldn’t bring himself to do anything but sit and stare. He remembered that moment. Of course he did. He remembered the helplessness in her eyes as she sobbed, remembered the way she looked up at him when he held her hand in his own.

He remembered how it tore his heart in two to see her like that, because it was in that moment that he finally thought he understood what romantic love was.

He just didn’t think that she was feeling it as well.

His mouth dropped open to say something, but all the words got stuck in his throat. Sure, he’d thought about what might happen if she felt the same way, but he’d stopped considering that scenario long ago, happy and content with the way their relationship was. Now that it was coming true, he had no idea how he was supposed to respond.

"You don’t have to say anything," she murmured. "I just didn’t have the confidence to tell you while I was sober."

When her gaze finally met his own, he could see that the soft smile on her lips made it all the way up to her eyes, relief sitting behind them as though a large weight had been lifted off her chest. There were no tears, no grief that he still couldn’t muster the words to tell her how he felt; she was simply at ease.

"Thank you," she said, breaking through the silence that had been left behind by his inability to find the right words.

"For what?" He asked, taken aback slightly by her choice of words.

"Taking care of me," she replied. "I know you don’t like me when I’m drunk."

"I like you all the time," he told her, giving her a poke to the chest. "I just prefer ya when you’re sober."

She exhaled softly through her nose with a gentle smile on her lips in what he could only assume was a show of her vague amusement at his jab before quiet befell them once more.

"Hey Lucy?"

"Mm?" She hummed, her eyes having fallen shut once more as sleep began to take its hold on her.

"How ‘bout you tell me again tomorrow, y’know, when you’re not drunk," he suggested, hoping this conversation would not be lost on them in the morning.

"Okay," she breathed, her content expression still remaining as she began to fall into the depths of sleep. "Goodnight, Natsu."

"G'night, Lucy."

#nalu #fairy tail #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #fanfiction #fan fiction #mya writes things #wow fancy new spacer #and the twice title reference #because it's such a banger song #lucy is def not alcohol free in this fic tho

[gwyns]

Am I the only one who thinks Azriel's bonus chapter was about him being jealous of his brothers and whining about not having a mate and try to reason how Elain should've been his but when we get to the end of chapter we realise that he's been truly blind as a bat that he can't see that his mate has been under his nose all along...

Like I didn't even had to read about all the mating bond languages that sjm been copy pasting with her mated couple to know Gwynriel is a mated couple (even tho they're true but as a casual reader you might not notice at first)

It's srsly that easy I don't know what these idiots are talking about!! Making theories out of their a*ses and keep telling us to read between the lines... istg I see a new theory out of that bonus chapter and they also keep saying it doesn't mean anything bc it wasn't part of the book...

Honey it's not that hard lol this was sjm massage to us that Azriel and Gwyn are mates, like it or not!!

nope! you're not the only one, that was my first initial impression too. as soon as i finished acosf, i said to myself, "oh my god, e/riel is dead" and his chapter only solidified it for me

his chapter isn't romantic, like at all. it's moreso showing us how lonely az truly is and how he's let that fester and make him act out. yes, there's some cute moments with gwyn and his shadows, but ultimately it's about how far az has fallen mentally. kinda like nesta in acofas. no matter what that side claims, he's not happy and in love, he's not doing well in the slightest

it's so amusing to me how they flip flop on whether his bonus chapter counts or not lol i've seen them say that it both confirms e/riel and sets up their forbidden romance trope and that it's also not canon because it's a bonus. while yes it is a bonus, it's definitely still canon, it's just not necessary to understand the rest of the book/series

recently, i've ventured into other sides of the internet, sides also filled with "theories" and i've come to realize that if someone wants something enough, they'll see anything as a connection and confirmation of whatever it is that they want. it doesn't mean that it's actually true and will happen. i fully believe this is how e/riels' brains work too, and it's caused their fandom to adapt this hive mind where if you disagree even a little bit, you get bullied and kicked out (i've seen actual former e/riels say this happens)

at the end of the day sjm writes for herself first and foremost, whatever she wants, she gets. she also loves the mate trope, despite what some people want to believe, and happy endings and the way i see it is that e/riel can't happen for everyone to end up happy. see how i don't need to make up bread recipes or a secret baby to make my ships happen? as a sjm reader since 2013, being able to recognize what tropes she likes and her writing style is all the "proof" i need

#firstly: im so sorry its taken me forever to reply to this. ive had a bad couple of weeks #secondly: i better not see anyone arguing that lucien and vassa could have them ending up happy #if you seriously think that lucien 'im a mated male now' vanserra is even LOOKING in vassas direction then youre wrong as hell #also realistically WHY would vassa as a human queen who is trying to reclaim her territory end up with someone whos future isnt tied to her #like at all?? sjm is best at making her ships compliment eachother and their overall journeys #so why wouldnt she make her end up with a human general who SHARES HER SAME GOALS? someone who is already at her throat and she at his #anyway rant over. sorry about that. thank you for the ask anon!!! 💖 #antielriel #anti e/riel #asks #anonymous

[thefudge]

I don't know if it's just me but if ship isn't problematic/toxic I find it boring

hah! that's a slippery slope! but i feel you. i think a larger observation we could make here is that really compelling dynamics that are real and human will always have problematic aspects. not that all couples have abusive dynamics or whatever, but rather that we as people are extremely fallible and we are even more so when we are in love and sharing ourselves with others. like, we are at our most noble and wretched with someone we love. so maybe what we find boring is being presented with relationships that gloss over these aspects. a well-written ship, no matter how "wholesome", will always have that interesting edge, imo.

that being said! i do wonder if ao3 + tiktok (but mostly tiktok and maybe wattpad) have served ppl a recipe of shallow "spiciness" where younger folks, especially, navigate towards seemingly "darker" ships just for the toxicity, instead of toxicity + substance. then again, this would've been people's complaints about the gothic genre back in the 19th century. "oh no, ppl will read too many penny dreadfuls and start murdering their neighbors in the street" etc. so it can become a silly moral panic, especially with regards to what women are reading. we all know how that goes.

buuuut i think there is cause for *some* concern about people's general tastes, not in terms of morality, but in terms of what they're consuming for themselves and their well-being. cuz i know what you mean and i have seen a shift in my own tastes over the years. like yes, we deserve to have fun with that trashy book, but i don't want us to only read easy things that will scratch a certain itch. because a lot of mainstream toxic/problematic stuff is written in a flat, trivial way and i want us to search for and be willing to read things that really challenge us. not just booktok's "dark romance" of the week (which is usually quite boring actually). i'm in a position where i do read a lot of different things constantly due to my job and my interests, but i have noticed a lack of patience in myself lately when it comes to certain stories and it gave me pause. btw, i'm not referring to you or your reading habits in particular, just thinking some general thoughts. ultimately, it's totally fine and we can enjoy as much problematic content as we want, as long as we don't forget the human element, as long as we don't settle just for the surface of things. because that's when we cheapen it, i think. idk, but i do think we have a responsibility to ourselves to always seek beautiful things (and by that i mean quality literature and quality trash lol). yes, we turn our brains off from time to time, we absolutely need to, but we need to come back to the things that make us think and feel to the utmost.

anyway, sorry for this very weird rant, this has been on my mind too!

#replies #writing #problematic ships

[rae-gar-targaryen]

Some Mickey "Fanboy" Garcia S.O. hcs for my Danny Ramirez babes bc I can't stop thinking about it...

(maybe I'll write this fic if there's interest???) -- EEP this is very unedited and total stream of consciousness, pls bear with me

Fanboy has a very sweet and adorable sunshine gf

she is a woman of dichotomy and multiple interests: she wears cute sundresses and is the total embodiment of the golden-hour aesthetic, but loves metal and action movies

when she visits him on base, she brings baked goods that she made from scratch

she tells him he has to share with the rest of the team

she gets family recipes from his mom to surprise him with a home-cooked meal when he gets back

she and Fanboy exchange Spotify playlists while he's away. He makes one called "I only have eyes for you," filled with lots of Motown and sweet sunshiney love songs

she's a sci-fi lover and big time nerd, just like Fanboy

she does a star wars-themed boudoir photoshoot while he's away and sends him the prints through the mail as a surprise

Payback loves her, and she and him love to tease Fanboy -- "when are you gonna leave this joker?" And she tells Fanboy, "Don't worry, after all, 'I only have eyes for you.'"

Ultimate sunshine x sunshine pairing

She gifts him a copy of novels she's read while he's away that she thinks he would like, and writes little notes and inscriptions in them for him. He takes one with him on each deployment.

Ultimate Instagram couple -- they're all over each other's stories when they're together. Brunches together, they love movie dates and chill nights in, and he's a good Instagram bf --

"babe the lighting is so good, lemme take your picture!"

He takes lots of pics of him and the squad and sends them to her while he's away -- everyone ships them ☀️💜🌿

should I just write this?? requests are open and I'm writing for top gun characters

#fanboy x reader #mickey fanboy garcia #mickey fanboy garcia x reader #fanboy hcs #mickey fanboy garcia hcs #mickey garcia x reader #danny ramirez #top gun: maverick fic #top gun: maveric hcs #mickey fanboy garcia x you #mickey 'fanboy' garcia headcanons #my writing #just a lil bit of nonsense #fluffy friday

[catharsis-in-a-bottle]

what does tillie walden do?

i don't know.

i just finished 'are you listening?' and it left me with the same exact unidentifiable shrimp emotion that this beautiful author bestowed upon me with on a sunbeam and the end of summer. i want to curl up in a blanket and cry. i want to draw. i don't even know what this book has done to me. i want to know how tillie walden captures something [this unidentifiable but very present feeling] that no other work of art has captured for me.

are you listening? follows two women through their road trip through western texas, both traumatized and both hurting. one older and more experienced, one freshly eighteen and emotionally raw from years of sexual abuse. the road trip is the story's through line - they find a cat and the landscape begins to shift, becoming more indistinct and unreal as they travel further - but the body of the story is the characters themselves. i think the thing that gets me overall is that the characters don't mark the strangeness of the shifting landscape until well after it begins. even then, it isn't their main focus - they focus on the rawness of their pain and the friendship they find in each other. what does this do? it captures the experience of deep emotional pain, the experience wherein the world doesn't feel real - the world is already warped into darkness in your vision. the true landscape change thus becomes irrelevant to the characters - it's a product of pain. it's just how they see the world. absorption in one's thoughts makes any external weirdness perfectly possible.

to add to all of this, both the characters are gay, a fact that tillie walden so beautifully incorporates into their personalities and experiences. the warping of the world sees strangers - men in particular - become shadows, silhouettes, looming figures defined only by too-large, colorful eyes. (i think this reflects the common queer experience of not knowing who can be trusted with the knowledge of our identities. and personally, i know that when i'm in a shitty mood and am overthinking my own identity, the surrounding world begins to feel like a bunch of untrustworthy strangers.)

the landscape itself also adds to the deep isolation of this graphic novel. yes, the characters are alone on a road trip with only a cat to keep them company, but the surrounding world is also huge and foreign and unreal. they are alone with each other. to me, their own pain and this isolation compound each other; i felt myself slipping further into walden's constructed darkness as i read.

and at the end, there's hope. the world is dark and that darkness is inescapable, and then at the end of it all, the characters continue on with their lives, changed for the better.

IT MAKES ME INSANE.

tillie walden did the same thing with on a sunbeam. a group of space travelers isolated on their ship, exploring strange buildings and ultimately venturing into a strange, unknowable landscape (The Staircase). a group of travelers bonded by pain. a group of queer travelers bonded by their love for one another. a world that is fundamentally built upon queerness - upon lesbians, upon trans people. i think the recipe is ultimately similar to are you listening? pain + isolation + queerness + found family = a reader response of despair, catharsis, hope, tears.

perhaps my own response stems from the fact that on the deepest level, i most relate to the struggles of butch lesbians, if i am being entirely real with myself. what does tillie walden do? she knocks it out of the fucking park and writes a type of very real-feeling queer darkness that caters to me specifically. (chomp chomp.) but apart from my own shrimp emotions, she's also just a really fucking good storyteller. a brilliant artist, a brilliant character creator, a brilliant writer. and her graphic novels are really fucking brilliant books.

#tillie walden #are you listening? #on a sunbeam #the end of summer #graphic novels #i NEEDED to write this train of thought tumblr book review.

[gingerteaonthetardis]

Thinking about that scene in boom town where they all pull out shitty early 2000s mobiles despite the fact jack and nine are time travellers and theres really no need for them to have them except. I'm fully convinced they bought them to keep in contact with rose when she's being jeopardy friendly

Anyway. So nine has his boom town phone ten has the flip phone Martha gave him and maybe rose (in a rose stays au) has the same phone or she keeps getting the same phone because it's what she's used to do and she does not want to update, she doesn't care what these new phones can do. But then the old companions are trying to set up a group chat so she finally relents

But they're time streams are so often out of sync that they still don't hear from the time travellers all that often and they start to wonder if they're dead or something but then they'll get a message from rose like 'cant talk right now we're being held in a dungeon again and about to get tortured for information. See you Sunday when we get out of here :)' and it's always some insane shit like that. I don't where I'm going with this but I think the companions should be allowed to share their insane lives with each other with the doctor and rose occasionally popping in to give updated before disappearing again because they had to reset the timeline again

i sat here and just nodded the whole time, you're so right on every count.

- jack and nine having special rose phones!!!! are you for real!!!! yes!!!

- also nine has, like. three numbers on speed dial. one is rose and the other is a pizza place that closed in 1983 and never reopened. the third number is cher, but he does not know that because he's never called it

- i think rose would only upgrade when a) yes, the gang beg her to join the groupchat but also b) she discovers that getting an iphone or whatever doesn't mean you have to give up all your cutesy nokia phone charm whimsy!!!! she goes to some random market and sees a stand selling the most extra phone accessories imaginable. pop sockets with aj mclean's face on them. glitter gel cases. stickers that squish when you press them. cases shaped like burgers and unicorns and stuff. like, she can truly just get whatever she wants and that's what ultimately sells her on the upgrade. (i firmly believe bill is the one helping her with this. to her chagrin)

- rose being the most unhinged in the groupchat also tracks to me. she'll on the one hand be like hey martha, can you ask your mum for her roast recipe? but then she'll follow immediately with btw can't make it to dinner, we're currently on a sinking ship in kublai khan's fleet and martha is just like..... *sigh* *flips through recipe cards*

- rose and jack have a complex and inscrutable shared emoji language. i don't make the rules

- unlike david tennant, nine knows what the eggplant emoji means and he uses it indiscriminately and with extreme prejudice

#nerdie faerie #abbey.txt #dw #rose tyler #ninth doctor #martha jones #bill potts #captain jack harkness

[hoodedchishiya]

♣ + us~!

send me ♣ + a ship and i’ll tell you…

✨Pairing: Kuina x Chishiya ✨

who is the better dancer? Kuina. Due to her time spent at The Beach, she picked up a few moves along the way whenever partying. Chishiya, however.. let’s just say that he may be skilled in most things, but dancing isn’t one of them. Definitely needs a few lessons.

who likes the outdoors more and who likes the indoors more? Kuina likes the outdoors more since she can socialise better in an open space, plus girl likes to catch the sun while she can. However, Chishiya likes the indoors where he can completely avoid everyone and get some peace. If he’s not in work then he hides out in his home.

who’s a cat person and who’s a dog person? Chishiya is a cat because he can relate to them more: anti-social, standoffish, cold and likes to take naps. Kuina is more of a dog person: Loyal, bubbly, sociable and friendly. They definitely go back and forth about what pet they want to adopt into their small family, but ultimately end up getting both a cat and a dog to settle the argument.

who’s more social? Definitely Kuina. A social butterfly who loves to meet new people and fits in easily with a new crowd. Chishiya isn’t social at all and would much rather avoid all human interaction altogether.

who makes the bed every morning? Chishiya— and this is usually while Kuina is still in it. He knows that it’ll probably be late afternoon when she rises because she’s a night owl and stays up most of the night straight through to early morning. He definitely hits her with a few pillows along the way — not on purpose (very on purpose) — and rips the sheet from her until she stirs and starts whining about how cold she is. It never fails to put a smirk on his face.

who likes to keep the house cold and who likes to keep the house warm? Chishiya likes to keep the house cold and Kuina likes to keep the house warm. There’s always a debate. Chishiya likes to bring up how he can wear his hoodies when it’s cold and that they can always warm up but not cool down if they turn the heating on. Kuina likes to state that she’s too pretty to freeze to death. That’s her argument.

who takes longer getting ready? Kuina. Takes her over an hour since she’s a perfectionist when it comes to her looks. Shower, makeup, clothes, shoes, accessories, bags.. can never choose which ones go with which and that often results in numerous outfits changes before she decides on ✨the one.✨ Of course that often makes them late for dates, but Chishiya doesn’t mind.. not when she looks stunning in her attire.

who likes scary movies and who likes funny ones? Chishiya likes horror movies and constantly likes to scare Kuina when watching them together, resulting in her screaming and yelling at him— accidentally smacking him too out of reflex. Meanwhile Kuina loves cheesy and romantic comedies and forced Chishiya to endure them with her.

who screams when they see a bug and who ends up killing it? Kuina screams and Chishiya kills it which often results in her scolding him for being cruel. “I didn’t tell you to kill it, I wanted you to take it outside!” To which Chishiya shrugs and simply replies in a sarcastic manner. “You’re welcome.” 💀

who is more technology challenged? Chishiya. He doesn’t like social media and doesn’t spend a lot of time on his phone or on a computer. He’s old fashioned in that way, much preferring to spend time offline which may lead to him struggling more than most whenever he needs to use technology.

who would be more likely to burn something in the oven? Kuina. She burns anything and everything— a literal fire hazard. If water could burn that she would even burn that. Chishiya constantly has to stand by with a fire extinguisher whenever she gets the genius idea that she wants to try out a new recipe that she saw on the TV. Obviously it always ends in disaster and a lot of foam everywhere—

who talks in their sleep? Both, especially after Borderland. With the constant nightmares, both struggle to refrain from fidgeting or mumbling in their sleep when forced to live their worst moments from Borderland over and over on a loop in their heads. Luckily they have each other for comfort when it all gets too much.

who leaves the cap off the toothpaste? Chishiya, on purpose. He knows it annoys Kuina because it dries up the toothpaste quicker, and he even goes as far as to hide it from Kuina just to irritate her. It’s safe to say that goading her is one of his favourite things to do in the world.

who likes getting dressed up more? Kuina. Chishiya much prefers to stay in his hoodies and sweatpants. He’s more of a comfort over fashion sort of guy and doesn’t see the point of dressing up just to fit in with social etiquettes. If he really has to though, he’ll get dressed up.. especially when Kuina loves to tug him by the tie~ ✨

who’s better at tying ties? Chishiya. Although he does like it when Kuina attempts to do it for him and fails. It’s the thought that counts though, right? Plus her hands on him is an added bonus.

who recorded the answering machine message on the house phone? Kuina. She was going for a sweet and cheesy message like from a romance movie, however.. Chishiya talks over her in the background, definitely mocking her and mimicking her tone in an attempt to put her off, and you bet the ending is her yelling at him to shut up. It’s something they often laugh about together, and they keep that as their answering machine message even though it’s a chaotic mess.

who’s better at planning romantic things? Kuina. Chishiya doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body, but sometimes he tries for her.. even though he isn’t good at it. But Kuina is great at it and definitely gets him in the mood for some romance whenever she puts the effort in to reserve a table at a fancy restaurant, finds the best place to stargaze among other things.

who takes up more space in the closet? Kuina. That woman has outfits for days and poor Chishiya can barely fit his clothes in the closet with how much space she takes up— not that he has much anyway. He’s perfectly fine with putting his own stuff in to the drawers instead.

who has more of a sweet tooth? Kuina. Chishiya doesn’t like sugary snacks — with the exception of biscuits of course — because they’re bad for the teeth. Kuina, however? She’s on a constant sugar rush with her favourite candies which is why she’s almost always on the go. Probably the main reason why she struggles to get to sleep early too.

who drinks more often? Kuina. Chishiya isn’t much of a drinker himself, and doesn’t drink nearly as much as Kuina when they visit bars. Kuina can outdrink anybody.. and then throw it all back up later. Guess who’s holding her hair while she’s doing so? That’s right, a very unimpressed Chishiya.

who is most likely to laugh during a serious situation? Both because they’re both menaces. Whenever faced with a serious situation, the two of them usually side eye each other and smirk before quietly snickering to each other about it. It’s why most people dread inviting them to any sort of social event because they’re unpredictable.

#alice in borderland roleplay #roleplay #aib rp #aib roleplay #roleplay account #roleplayer #alice in borderland #alice in borderland rp #open roleplay #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya shuntaro #kuina x chishiya #chishiya x kuina

[triflesandparsnips]

A whole lot of you are weird about Izzy Hands on this here tumblr dot com -- and I mean that it both directions. There's just a whole lot of... all that, for one dang mid-level antagonist in a capital-r Romance. Which... you know how many of those antagonists end up getting their own romantic storylines? Most of them. Will that happen to Izzy? Idk, man, I just look at narrative patterns.

I think, to a degree, it was a bit of a disservice pretty early on to latch on to him as the only human on a ship full of Muppets. Dude is a full-on Muppet-- he's just a Sam the Eagle, rather than a Gonzo or Piggy. I mean:

He demands people call him Izzy, an objectively stupid name for a middle-aged serious-guy

He stripped a dude on their first encounter instead of just killing him because? Why?

He regularly runs a ship that looks like a 13-yr-old got to buy all their goth birthday party decorations at Hot Topic

Does a stupid weird finger wave at Ed when the British point him out

Izzy's Revenge

He brought up Daddy kink on his own, like wtf, c'mon now

The character's done awful things, absolutely. Because the story needed mirrors of trust violated, safety shattered, etc etc. The narrative trusted Izzy to help drive that part of the overall arc of Stede and Ed's love story.

And the thing is: a defining part of Romance is the Happily Ever After (or the Happily For Now, if you need to keep things riled up across multiple books/stories). That means that unless a character is dead, they have a chance at that HEA-- even if they have to go through absolute shit (or be an absolute shit) before they get to it. That's what makes Romance so great-- it gives all of us the chance to believe that even at our worst, maybe we too can get to a place of love.

So... idk, man. Lot of Izzy hate, lot of Izzy love, a lot of talking at cross-purposes. Critical analysis is great and I love it, but when it starts warping the understanding of story mechanics... that's I think a recipe for a lot of broken hearts and hurt feelings when the canon story eventually progresses and the narrative reveals what genre (with whatever associated tropes and arcs) it's going to ultimately end up being.

#our flag means death #real weird around here to be interested in the character of #Izzy Hands #and how to get to his Romance-genre Redemption #not because I give a shit about *him* #but because I give a shit about *guessing narrative solutions* #and then there's a whooooole lotta discourse about reality and hate and woobifying #while I'm just looking for someone to talk to me about narrative patterns #I read just about aaaaaaall the fic my dudes #steddy hands #the lot #what I *don't* read are the full-on hate fics #or even evil-all-along fics #(I'll read dark shit because I love a good Exploration Of Dark Shit) #but this is a Romance #imo #and therefore I'm working under Romance conventions

[meaningtotellyou]

Moving advice- Craigslist hilariously and also Facebook marketplace! Start looking at things now you need to get like a couch etc. and start liking those things to train your algorithm on Facebook. Especially anything that looks likes something you would ultimately want to buy or has the search phrase etc. rich people get rid of great quality shit for free even all the time take advantage! For training your algorithm you can also just open up the distance parameters to the whole country just so it starts picking up good stuff. That way when you’re ready to buy you find something good. And don’t rush into buying stuff because you feel you need to have a couch or chair or side tables to feel independent or adult etc. wait and buy pieces you really like ans would want to keep. They’ll come to you. Also hit up good will or other thrifts or estate sales, yard sales, and even local online auctions for especially kitchen stuff, dishes and cups etc. so many people need to clean out their parents homes when they pass and get rid of normal every day stuff we use but would be so expensive to buy new. Online auctions that are local can be an amazing resource for that too. You can use liveauctioneers and search locally. You can get really great quality furniture that isn’t worth it to people to pay to ship but you’re local you can just go pick up. I got two custom designer benches once for $10 total at a place I only had to drive twenty minutes to to pick up. Or if in all your searching you find something you love that’s not local try uship to see how much it would cost to ship. It ends up being more affordable than you think . And meal prep. Batch cook things. I love to roast a pan of vetables weekly and make a protein that I can add things to during the week. So like simply seasoning chicken with just salt pepper garlic and onion powder and then like oregano or Italian seasoning well I can use that in pretty much any recipe. Can add paprika cumin etc make it into Mexican whatever. Or can just add it to a salad. Pick a day you have off and just get into a routine of spending an hour or two in the kitchen where you prep things for the week even if it’s whole meals you then put in fridge or even freeze. Make multiples of things you can freezer and have later. Especially they’re annoying to make lol. It feels like a lot of time at first but you make it fun. Put on a show or podcast and it saves you so much time during the week and also mental energy! Also ends up saving so much energy when you have already prepared food at home

AHHH thank you bestie!! i was already ready to shop on Facebook and Craigslist and thrift for furniture too! luckily i have a few items (tables and stands) from the apartment i can start out with so im bit totally bare bones moving

#Dani moves out #moving tips

[taihua]

Beyond "Sort by Kudos": or, how to find new fics to read

This post recently made the rounds with a lot of people weighing in to say that kudos don't make a difference to what they decide to read, but oomf asked a question about how to find more obscure fics, so here are my recommendations! This is not a "how to use AO3" guide (those already exist elsewhere), but some ideas of what to look for when you've exhausted rec lists and the top kudos fics and hundreds of pages of search results remain.

First and most obvious: narrow down the tags! The "Include" and "Exclude" features are super useful for fic searches. Rating: Useful for when you only want dirty filthy smut. Limit the results to Explicit fics only. Or maybe you're weird and don't want explicit fics, so you narrow it down to General Audiences... ??? Categories: checking the "F/F" box can magically change the results from "the lesbian ship is mentioned once in this 200k multichapter fic about male characters" to stories that are actually about the ship you're looking for. Additional Tags: This is where the genre tags live. Sometimes you just really want a modern AU with Hurt/Comfort. Put that good stuff in here. You can also exclude any of these things that you don't want to see, so if you only want G-rated canon universe M/M fluff, exclude everything I mentioned above. You can use all these limitations in tandem with the "sort by kudos" feature to get a fresh list of fics at the top of the results.

Set a range of dates for when fics were posted, and then sort by kudos. I really like this one because it can show you what has been popular recently--the overall top kudos fics generally won't change because they end up there during the fandom's height of popularity or because they're the oldest fics in a fandom, but narrowing it down to the last year or the last 6 months can show you fics that are just as good but didn't benefit from the popularity boost the other fics had. (I know, popularity isn't everything, but kudos can also be a good indication of "lots of people enjoyed this so I might, too" and so it's not a bad place to start) It's also fun to play around with it when you're following a canon with ongoing updates. What was popular before [x was revealed]? What kinds of fan theories existed when the fandom was new?

Bookmarks: If you like a certain author's fics, check to see if they have any public bookmarks, since they probably like fics that are similar to what they write. Or you can see which other readers have bookmarked a fic you like, and check their other bookmarks.

Look for zine and exchange collections. Moderators choosing their zine contributors is a kind of inherent recommendation, and there's generally going to be a process for beta reading and editing to make these fics as polished as possible for publication. Exchanges will also sometimes have mandatory beta reading and minimum word count requirements, which can be a recipe for good fic. And both of these collections will probably have a certain theme to tie them together, which is great if it's a theme you like! It's possible to find challenges by searching for something like "[ship name] exchange" or "[character] zine."

And, because AO3 has a very good search function, you can use a lot of these search functions at the same time--if you want to find the most popular Modern AU zine fic from 2017, you can do that! Changing it up will ensure a fresh set of fics in the results each time you run a search, and setting the filters to all the things you like will improve the results according to your personal tastes too, which will ultimately make the "sort by kudos" element irrelevant.

Happy searching!

#i still like sorting by kudos but not because the kudo is an objective measure of quality #but anyway. these are all ways to make the results fresh even if you keep them in descending kudo order

[neutronstarchild]

Fanfic ask game: 🍄🔪🦴

Ask and ye shall receive @ruddcatha!

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Hehe, I am going to give three naughty headcanons for my favorite pairs! I am going to start with Hua Cheng and Xie Lian from Heaven Official's Blessing, and Victor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki from Yuri on Ice. There are no "defined roles" for either of these pairings in the bedroom. They give, they receive, and who is top and who is bottom all comes down to whi is in the mood for what. I also believe that both pairs spend as much energy on aftercare and snuggling and tenderness after they have sex because the intimacy is as cherished as the sexiness.

For InuKag, I think Kagome was the one to instigate, and Inuyasha is shy and a little overwhelmed the first few times, in part because touch starvation --> intimacy is such a jump. Kagome helps him through and ultimately he loves sexy times, also because the post-sex snuggles are amazing.

(Seeing a theme? 😅)

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

That has got to be ancient forms of lube. If you're wondering, it's called carrageenan 😏 and it's made from seaweed.

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? 

Oh there are so many. I don't know if others have the same style of "get into this media" way my hyperfixated brain can work, but it needs to have compelling characters and have an "incomplete" plot. Incomplete meaning not that it does not end well, but that there are holes in what the original story gave us that I desperately want to fill in. That seems to be the recipe for inspiration.

Thanks so so much for the Truth or Dare asks!

#truth or dare asks #fandom asks #i have a LOT of switch and snuggle headcanons

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Heya Baba! <3 I remember you mentioned Lark and Grant recently and I would love to know more!! So Lark/Grant for the ship bingo :)

😊🌸 Hiya Countless!!! Eheh y'know, I have this awful habit of putting off answering your asks specifically because I want to be especially thorough with them... And consequently not getting to answering them 😅😓. Like, I HAVE NOT forgotten about the music one LOL one day I will answer it I fucking swear!!!

Anyways, oooh, well rad of you to express interest in this one! I'll try my best!

(eheh also fair warning I'm a tad drunk eheheh but hopefully this will still be reasonably comprehensible? Just to say that I might be a bit extra all over the place but I'm trying my best ahaha. Also cheers lol 🍻💜)

(My second bingo I think? I'm too lazy to mark them lol)

Okay so the thing is, in my head I know exactly how I want this ship to play out and what it means to me... But putting that into words? Quite difficult actually!

I've been like, silently obsessing over these two for the past few months actually. I did this to myself? It was an accident?? I have this non-magical AU road trip fic for them that I've been rotating around for the longest time and have been *dying* to write, so I guess that's what a lot of my thoughts have centered around! That said, if I could explain the appeal more generally...

*Well*, as far as ships I feel strongly positive about go, this one is... Definitely one of the most unapologetically toxic ones tbh? Not as the end game for them! Rather, usually when these two play out in my head it sorta starts as two people with a lot of conflict between them (perhaps cause they're so similar in a lot of ways), who ultimately come to understand each other very well and grow as a result. Does that make sense? I think they make each other worse, and *then* they make each other better.

So what is it about them? Well... It's a bit hard to place actually! I would say that near its core, their relationship to me is very much defined by its physicality. Which I guess I mean from a number of angles (eheh including the sexual side sure but I'll spare you that dw I'll spare you from that LOL). For one there's... Something very physical about both of their most core traumas (the pyramid, the chimera) that to me separates these two from the rest of the other kid(dad)s? Similarly, and perhaps related to this, they certainly have a relationship with physical violence that is unlike the others as well, wherein it tends to be more of a pleasure or source of catharsis rather than purely being a necessary evil. Obviously in Grant's case this takes on a particularly dark tone, but still I think Lark's violent disposition is apparent and important enough.

I'll go back to all of that shortly but as a side tangent, they both have similar (albeit not identical) habits of shutting down and pushing people away as well? There's a lot of self-loathing, a lot of not believing oneself to be worthy of love, and so on and so forth.

SOOOOOO... I think at first they could be very cold and mean with each other! (Cue that scene in The Staircase when Lark body checks Grant to push past hm like ouch ooo my feelings but also *go on*). Verbal communication only goes so far with either of them, seeing oneself in the other and projecting that self-loathing onto them in the form of hate... It's a recipe for disaster tbh.

So... They fight! Especially like, physically, they fight. And... It's great? For both of them. It's an outlet, it's cathartic, and when it's just the two of them like this they can be shameless about it! <- That last part is important, for both of them but especially for Grant I think.

>> Now playing: "A Kiss With a Fist" by Florence and the Machine >>

And I think with time they learn to be more open with one another in other ways? As I mentioned earlier, their traumas bear a lot of similarities, among other things, so I think that once they reach this point there's this level of understanding between them that they haven't really been able to find elsewhere, and in that, probably some comfort. And trust!!!

So they're not really a couple sorta deal for me even if some of the feelings present might ultimately be romantic? It's more like, they let off some steam, they kiss a bit (or a bit more than a bit), and they love each other in a way that is deep and personal but doesn't require any sort of label, cause words were never what defined them in the first place.

Does any of this make sense??? Did I mention I'm drunk???

Not that this is exactly how it needs to be play out in every iteration of them, either. I guess there's also a lot of hurt/comfort for me with these two. A lot of that has to do with my own headcanons of Lark having PTSD and related symptoms that are quite similar to what Grant goes through, and the mutual understanding that comes with that (in short). And hey, for all the cuts and bruises from their training sessions (and/or consensual roughhousing), there's just as many carefully applied bandages and ice packs afterwards eheheh.

AHA okay this was long oh my goodness. And I still don't feel like I really got what I mean across!

🤔 Honestly, if this explanation turned you *off* from the ship more than anything, that's pretty fair tbh! They're really difficult for me to put into words haha, maybe in fanfiction it would be less off-putting!

Regardless, thank you very much for the ask :3 💜

#I'd have more to say but it would never come out the right way #dndads #I hope this kind of made sense????? Gee I really don't know #dungeons and daddies #grant wilson #lark oak #lark oak garcia #grant x lark #tw ptsd #tw violence #there's lowkey way more wholesome shit for these two in my head than this description would lead one to believe I think #gee why is it so hard with them haha #I hope this was kinda interesting at the very least Countless!