#the vampires arguing about their books gives me life tbh

[desertfangs]

On the subject of how often Lestat mentions crying and weeping in The Vampire Lestat and Queen of the Damned, this exchange between Lestat and Louis in Tale of the Body Thief always cracks me up:

Lestat: "I'm going to weep if you don't stop." Louis: "Weep. I'd like to see you weep. I've read a great deal about your weeping in the pages of your books but I've never seen you weep with my own eyes." Lestat: "Ah, that makes you out to be a perfect liar. You described my weeping in your miserable memoir in a scene which we both know did not take place!"

It's a great lampshade on all his weeping, and it's a moment that exists because the books exist in-universe. I will always be absolutely feral for moments in the series that refer to the books.

#tale of the body thief #totbt #the tale of the body thief #vc meta #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #louis/lestat #loustat #vc quotes #queen of the damned #the vampire lestat #vc #vampire chronicles #the vampires arguing about their books gives me life tbh #in fic or canon really #anywhere i can get it

[suguru-getos]

Hi congrats on 2k! Can i get a matchup from your event?

I'm female, she/her pronouns I'm istp 9w8 937.

PERSONALITY:

I'm ambivert,I'm very laid back and prefer to go with the flow of life but sometimes come off as ego-centric and domineering. I have to admit I’m a lazy person who prefers having a leisure more than anything else But once i find my motivation I'm actually pretty hardworking. I find it hard to get along with people who don't share my passions or hobbies or desire to excel. It would be nice to a be boss, but at the same time I like letting others operate how they want to do so. I like dealing with people at work and I want to be where all the actions, while at the same time helping people, but I just want to be left alone to do things the way I want to do it.

tbh I often think I’m above others, yet I am always willing to acknowledge that I’m a total piece of shit [very rarely tho] Sometimes i have fantasies and ideals that I want to start creating or becoming but i give myself a reality check and let the dream fade away. I’m very innovative but still choose the practical route a lot. It’s easy for me to create goals and envision the end results but it’s ridiculously hard for me to remain committed to the process.

I have a very big ego but one word alone is enough to destroy it. i Will never admit my wrong, unless internally.

LIKES:

My favourite colour is red, i love all shades of it but i especially love darker shades. I like horror genre [movies, books and etc], watching movies, listening to true crime and music[especially indie and rock music] i like Researching and learning more about myself. I love greek and Egyptian mythology. I'm really interested in psychology and philosophy. I also find researching about demonology and ancient religions interesting. I love Victorian/romantic/vampire gothic aesthetic I'm also very in love with gothic novels. I wouldn't really consider this as a hobby cause i do it once or twice a year but i also play volleyball and piano. I also really love spicy food and cats and snakes are my favourite animals.

I may not be a religious person but i love Christinan themed paintings, sculptures and buildings. I love gothic and baroque architecture.

I may not look like it and it may come of as a shocking news to a many people but i actually love and enjoy socializing.

DISLIKES:

I hate quiet places [i have trouble sleeping in quiet environment] I dislike sweet food, dogs, romance movies[i love romance genre just not in movies], "Pinterest goth" aesthetic, sweating, heat, smell of mushrooms, thought of ever growing old, getting wrinkles and dying. When grown up people act like toddlers [unless it's from a medical condition] when people make some kind of noises while drinking or eating food, cat haters, hypocritical people, i especially hate those people who say most homophobic, xenophobic and racist shit and call it a "dark humor", egg white [both smell and taste], People who ask questions during movies.

Love language:

Quality time [ giving]

Acts of service [giving]

Gift giving [ receiving]

hi i match you up w the one and oni arataki numero uno itto <3

en’s 2k event:

despite being ur polar opposite, he has high morals and standards. something he’d never sacrifice no matter what & looking for how highly u take yourself as a person, hes whipped. he loves people who love themselves. but he will love you more.

he knows you hate admitting that ur wrong, so he’d never publically argue in such a manner. however in the intimacy of the bedroom, he’d say it to you. he wants you to be vulnerable to him.

he actually asked a lot of questions in movies until he figured out you despise it ;3 then he shuts his mouth but u can still see he excitement beaming in his eyed

has no prob letting you take the lead but hes the dom in bed idc he personally told me that 💅🏻

will find the onikabuto for you for beetle fights, will probs cook the best lavender melon dishes as well <3

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #itto x reader #itto imagines #itto fluff #genshin matchups #en’s 2k event

[into-a-very-large-dog]

Hello! I’ve read your post about Freaky Fred playing the important role in the ongoing the Cullens - Volturi confrontation. I completely agree with you about this one, and also have the other suggestion that you didn’t mention.

I can’t help but think that Fred is going to fall in love with Renesmee (I know she has Jacob, obviously, but still). There are several reasons why I think so, and here are some of them:

1. SM said that he’s going to appear on the second book, not in the first one, and the first one takes place 4-5 years after Breaking Dawn. I am not sure at what age Renesmee will look like at 4-5 years old, but presumably a teenager-little-too-early-to-fall-in-love-with. So I think in the first book she won’t be romantically interested in anyone, because she’s just too young for that. The next book, on the other hand, might continue with her being more mature and starting to realise the confusing relationship she is in with Jacob, so it’s a great place for the love triangle to happen.

2. Fred is a nice love interest material - he’s handsome and smart, and the fact that SM didn’t give him a mate in the Bree Tanner novella (although he was lonely all his life and deserved love too) just seems like a set-up for the future.

3. You mentioned that the Cullens might ask Fred to help them. But why would Fred, with all his I-don’t-care-about-anyone-just-leave-me-alone personality help them? He doesn’t know them, they are not his friends, they haven’t done him any favour (the opposite, actually - the Cullens are quite the reason why his friend Bree is dead). So only some strong emotion can make him agree to protect the family he couldn’t care less about. And this emotion could possibly be his love (or, at the starting point, attraction and curiosity) for Renesmee. The only question is if she’ll love him in return (though I’d like to see that, we still can’t do anything with Jacob unless SM would want to kill him, which I doubt she’ll do).

4. If Renesmee is in danger and needs to be hidden, all she has to do is just to stay with Fred wherever he is. His gift can hide her very well from the Volturi or any other danger. So in this case he’s a much better protector to her then Jacob will ever be.

5. Not the actual reason, but I watched some interviews from 2020 Midnight Sun promotion, and while talking about Fred, SM was smiling just so strangely, like she had something flagrant planned for him. And on other interview, when asked about vampire mates, she said that when you mate it’s forever, and you need to be very careful not to fall in love with a wrong person, because once you did, you’d never be able to change it. So, in this case, we may see Fred falling in love with someone who already loves another person, which as well can be Renesmee.

So that it, I can’t help but think it’s the direction the story might go to. Would be glad to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks!

Hey ! Wow thanks for this ! It's been a long time since I read the second short life of bree tanner but i'll try to answer as much as i can :

1. The SECOND book ? What do you mean ? We're gonna get two books about Regurgitation ? I'm really surprised, I knew she was writing one, but I didn't know she had enough material for two (i'll buy both of them of course lol, i'm desperate for new material). Also maybe the reason she has so much material is bc she'll FINALLY expand on the conflict with the Volturis ? I have high expectations tbh.

Honestly, I think Renesmee is probably going to grow up and decide what kind of relationship she wants with Jake. Also Renesmee falling in love with another vampire (and one with a gift) is probably Jake's worst nightmare, especially if Fred is wanted by the Volturis. Jake's priority is Renesmee's safety, so of course he will be against her being in the vicinity of Fred, but then she'll probably argue that with that logic, she should stay away from Alice too... Anyway, there's gonna be angst. And arguments. Clearly the book can't just be about Renesmee's perfect life, there has to be some conflicts.

2. Fred is a perfect love interest, better than Jake imo. But of course, there's going to be some of the Cullens who will probably support Jake (not Rosalie tho, Rose will 100% root for Fred). I feel lile Renesmee's choice will be very important for the coven, weirdly.

3. I'm not sure he'll need a strong incentive like love to take part in the conflict/war/whatever Aro is preparing. He's distant to protect himself but I think he tends to get lonely and once he'll realize that the Cullens are different and not dangerous for him, he'll probably stay with them on his own. Plus, he may want to avenge Bree for what the Volturi did. I think Fred might also be interested in the kind of life the Cullens are living (and the adoption papers will be ready anyway, knowing esme). He's clever enough to understand that a nomad, hidden life has limitations and that he could live a better life with the Cullens or with the Denalis. I also think that because of the way he was turned and because of his first months as a newborn, he's probably not very ok with killing people.

And if he chooses the Cullens over the Volturis it will be a problem for Aro & co anyway bc they'll probably realize that their way of life is threatened. There are more and more "vegetarian" vampires so it will be a pb.

But I agree that Fred will be curious and try to understand why 8 vampires are living with 2 snacks hot blooded creatures. If he stays, and knowing how SM is, it's inevitable that he falls in love with Renesmee.

4. That will piss off Jake but I think he'll be the bigger person. He'll probably let Fred protect her and therefore get closer to her and omg now I WANT THIS SECOND BOOK i want to watch this unfold i want the DRAMA i hope sm delivers.

5. I wouldn't be surprised if the story gets to a love triangle and leads to Heartbreak Fred.

BUT i also kind of feel like sm is very aware of some of the Discourse about her story and that she wants to change some things, like clearly for example in midnight sun we can see that Renee-is-a-bad-mom got to SM and she clearly agreed or thought it was a good addition to the story and showed it through Ed. So maybe Jake-and-Renesmee-shouldn't-be-a-couple will get to her too. I hope so. She has an easy way out since the imprintee (or whatever the name for this) can "decide" of the nature of the relationship with the shapeshifter.

So Renesmee could still not want Jake as a bf, love Fred romantically and Jake ends up with Leah (or someone HIS AGE). But I feel like Jake and Renesmee won't happen. Well i hope so now that i've read your ask and thought a little bit lol

I hope my answer was good ! It's almost 1AM here so maybe it wasn't very clear, sorry ! Don't hesitate if you have other theories (or news about the new books???i wanna know) ! And sorry my answer is so long lol i got carried away

#answered #jake being in the second generation love triangle lol DAMN #i have high expectations for these 2 books now i hope they'll be good #also english is my second language so this answer is far from perfect sorry for the mistakes ! #twilight renewal #twilight renaissance #bella swan #bella cullen #carlisle cullen #leah clearwater #esme cullen #edward cullen #renesmee cullen #jacob black #rosalie cullen #alice cullen #tags tags tags... #freaky fred #bree tanner

[dl-oblivion]

Can I get headcanons for what types of parents the m boys would be + Subaru as well ? Thank you!

These headcannons are a little random, so if you want me to go into better detail about any particular boy, please feel free to ask.

⚠️Possible TW⚠️

Ruki:

- Ruki would be a strict, but loving parent. He knows just the right amount of discipline, and care he needs to enforce. Pushing his child to express themselves, while making sure they stay on top of priorities. (He’d probably be the best dad out of all his brothers tbh.)

- The vampire would spend a lot of time with his kid, teaching them skills/life lessons. His favorite thing to do is cook dinner, and have his child help in the process. Spending time with his kid would also mean silent reading time, and pushing them to do their best in regards to education.

- Ruki would read a ton of books about parenting. Thinking heavily on his words and actions. On the surface it seems as though he knows exactly what he’s doing, but inside he’s stressed. Keep in mind he grew up in a broken home, that was stripped away from him at a young age. He’s never had a properly established father figure to look up to. Ruki knows he’s going to make mistakes, but tries to be the best father he can be.

Yuma:

- Yuma would be a tough, and aggressive dad. He’d think it’s important to teach his offspring about hard work, and the cruel world around them. Once they were old enough, Yuma would teach them how to fight, especially if they were a girl. That being said, he has his tender moments. Example being, if his child is having trouble falling asleep, he’ll let them sleep on his chest, while telling recounting from his childhood.

- The kid would spend a lot of time in the garden, learning from a young age how to balance chores, school, and hobbies. Free time would come few, and far between. Yuma always needs help with something.

- Once his offspring started growing up, and wanting independence, is when the relationship might crumble. The vampire would definitely get into a ton of arguments, and even physical altercations with his child if they started “rebelling”. His lover would ultimately be the one to scold both him, and their child into understanding each other.

Kou:

- Kou would seem like a pretty normal dad on the surface, but lowkey traumatize his kid. He will always attempt to look good as a dad, but won’t be a pushover. If his child does something worthy of punishment, he won’t hesitate to put them in their place. If he’s out in public, and they create some kind of scene, oh boy. He’ll look calm, but once they get home, bitch better run.

- As soon as his child is able to understand language, he starts teaching them about the give, and take mentality. Sadly, it would turn into one of those cases of generational trauma, unless his kid was able to break the cycle.

- Due to his status, and him being an idol, he will appear a bit absent at times. It seems as though he’s always rushing to go out, or on the phone with his agency. Kou wouldn’t put it above his family however, and listen to his child whenever they needed. Let’s say he’s on an important phone call, and his kid comes up to him with something they really need to tell him, he’ll put the person on hold.

Azusa:

- Azusa would be an overbearingly loving parent. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but kinda does a decent job at being a dad (comparatively that is). The only thing he would do wrong, is maybe attempt to hurt them, but I’m sure his s/o would teach him why that is wrong before anything happens.

- He’d always check in on his child, and want to spend time with them. Azusa would feel a bit heartbroken by his kid if they said they needed space. Eventually he would come to understand it, and respect their privacy.

- As a father, he might be a bit of a pushover, and play good cop (for the most part). He’d be there to comfort his child if they just got yelled at, or spanked. If his child was gonna do something he disagreed with, he would argue, but not necessarily stop them. If it was something really bad (like going out to go drink/do drugs), he’d lock them up in their room.

Subaru:

- Subaru is a panicky, but aggressive dad. He worries about his child a lot, and if he’s doing a good job. He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if they were traumatized because of him. With that being said, he’s still gonna discipline them, and know when to put his foot down.

- He has a hard time showing affection, but figures out how to eventually. He first starts by taking them to the garden, and progresses towards being comfortable enough to let them sit on his shoulders, and sleep on his chest. 🥺🥺

- Once his child was a bit older, he would tell them about his upbringing, and how to defend themselves from anybody attempting to take advantage of them. The way his mother was used, he never wants to see his own offspring go through that.

#diabolik lovers #ruki mukami #yuma mukami #kou mukami #azusa mukami #subaru sakamaki #mukami family #headcanon #dialovers

[coldshrugs]

thank you for this blessed template, @possumsunshine. this was so fun and cute, i couldn't resist after seeing it on my dash 💗

pulled a couple of answers from oc asks i've done recently because oof this got long.

QUICK READ OF YOUR DETECTIVE

Name: alma greene

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bisexual

Love interest: mason

Best friend: felix but also nate

Main skill: science/tech

Secondary skill: people/psychology

Main personality trait: tied for impulsive and sarcastic

Secondary personality trait: stubborn

Why did they join the Wayhaven PD?: she’s not a detective, but science skills

Relationship with Rebecca: very close, even with absences, but waning

Relationship with Bobby: college friend, currently hates him

Verda or Tina?: both

Murphy bite?: wrist

Murphy’s fate?: at large, babyyy

Rescue LI or Rescue Sanja?: sanja

GENERAL

Name: alma eloise greene

Nickname: sweetheart/space girl by mason; sweetie by rebecca

Birthday: june 12th

Age: 29

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bisexual (demiromantic??)

Hair color: dark brown

Eye color: dark brown, nearly black

Height: 5’1”

Piercings: ears, former nostril piercings

Tattoos: a small snail on her right arm, super cartoony spaceship and tractor beam over the words “i want to believe” on the back of her left calf

Clothing Style: “modern” i guess, according to the game. tbh i usually describe it as “too old to be an e-girl but too cute to care.” bleached denim, dark plaid, graphic crop tops, black vans or converse, thigh-high tights, etc etc

Apartment Style: cozy. did she find it on the side of the road or goodwill or an estate sale? if not, it’s probably not in her apartment.

STATS

Personality:

Charming | Intimidating

Impulsive | Cautious

Sarcastic | Genuine

Friendly | Stoic

Easygoing | Stubborn

Traits:

Heart | Mind

Optimist | Pessimist

Team Player | Independent

Skills:

Main Skill: science/tech

Second Skill: people/psychology

By the Book | Bend the Rules

KEY DECISIONS

Reason for joining the Wayhaven PD: alma is wayhaven’s only forensic analyst because i refuse to let my black oc be a cop

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ in-game, she’s 100% there for her scientific prowess.

Murphy bite: Wrist | Neck | None

Murphy’s Fate: Captured | Escaped

Rescued: Love Interest | Sanja

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

Love Interest: mason

Why them?: on a meta level: oh no he’s hot

but alma’s reasoning is that he’s very upfront about what he wants in the beginning and she’s never been pursued in such a way. It’s a bit of a rush and an ego boost for her at first. but mason’s loyalty very quickly becomes the steadiness alma’s been missing for most of her life and she latches on to that. she’s not had someone so dependable around in… well, ever. and her physical attraction becomes emotional VERY quickly.

Bold, shy, or mixed?: shy until they sleep together, then a mix of bold and genuine afterward.

What were their first impressions of each other?:

alma on mason: thought he was super attractive but that was quickly pushed aside by “holy shit, this guy’s an ass.” she thinks he’s an uncooperative jerk that only cares about himself for quite a while, honestly. she asks him along for things she wants to do alone precisely because she thinks he’ll be the most likely to just stay out of her way. she’s surprised by his attitudes and opinions, and her incorrect assumptions about them, during those times.

mason on alma: would never, ever, ever admit that his first thought upon meeting Alma was simply “cute.” he quickly found parts of her to assess individually. those first few days were mostly spent appraising her physical attributes and watching her back when she needed it. mason did find her funny right away, but he wasn’t willing to trust someone new, regardless of that person being their handler’s daughter or not.

What do they find attractive about each other, mentally or physically?:

alma on mason: his eyes, freckles, and every single version of his smile. his decisiveness, differentially, and willingness to stab as a warning.

mason on alma: her hair tbh, there’s just… a lot of it. her hips, her eyelashes. He also likes her adaptability, sense of humor, and the warmth she gives with no expectation of reciprocation.

What do they do to spend time together?: lots of stargazing, lots of watching tv very quietly and making fun of the storylines they don’t understand until they get bored and make out instead, walking around the quieter parts of wayhaven or taking late-night drives.

What is their favorite memory together?: i like to think mason finds the carnival photo of them after the place has been sacked and gives it to alma sometime later. both the taking of the photo and the giving of it are very fond memories for both of them.

What are their love languages?: touch, quality time.

How do they handle being apart from one another?: badly. mason absolutely hates it after a time. if alma’s out of town, he’s in her apartment with the excuse of feeding her cat, but it’s 100% just to sleep in her bed and be around all the things that make her, her. alma does a little better. she’s used to having folks sort of come and go and come again, but she gets almost hyper-insecure?? it’s nothing she’d admit openly, but she’s second-guessing herself in totally unrelated aspects of her life until they’re reunited.

Do they argue? How do they handle arguments and disagreements? How do they make up?: they don’t necessarily argue, but they disagree with the intent to problem solve. alma is pretty flexible and as long as she can understand why someone might feel the way they feel, she’s willing to hear them out or go along with their plan. if an argument does get out of hand, they need space from it for a while. they each have places to retreat for those times, and they wait for the “hey” text to come through to know it’s time to talk about it.

What does their future look like?: alma becomes a vampire two years into their relationship. they move into a quiet, old house on the edge of town until the whole team moves elsewhere. mason has to get used to having a cat because october has several years left in him. they don’t get married, but they’re inseparable.

Anything else you’d like to share: in the time before alma turns, mason learns to perfect making grilled cheese because it’s what alma craves when she’s not feeling well. He makes the grilled cheese then he immediately showers to get the smell off him but he makes it regardless.

BEST FRIEND RELATIONSHIP

Best friend: depending on the playthrough it swaps between felix and nate, but felix feels more in character

Why them?: alma loves felix’s sense of adventure and nosiness. Most of all she loves that he won’t judge her for pulling the same shit every now and then.

What were their first impressions of each other?: alma was super thrown off by that hand kiss. “who the fuck is this mischief-maker?” while nate was very kind and warm, felix (surprisingly) was the UB teammate that really humanized the rest of the team for alma. he’s fun and genuine and wants everyone else to be happy together. felix was incredibly interested to learn more about alma, as a human, as his boss’s daughter, and then as a friend when she readily accepted the supernatural and, by extension, him as a vampire. The fact that she’s easily flustered or surprised really works in his favor because he lives for being the most shocking person in the room.

What do they do to spend time together?: they share music, they dance, and they text A LOT. lots of memes, lots of “what does [x] mean?” “oh nice” “[proceeds to use the thing they just learned incorrectly]”. they also compare and share hair products.

Anything else you’d like to share: they each have a tamagotchi named after the other (baby felix and baby alma) and they compete to see who can keep theirs alive the longest. everyone loses.

OTHER RELATIONSHIPS (Feel free to go in-depth!)

Relationship with Rebecca: oof okay. alma seeks rebecca’s approval and depends on her for a sense of safety and “stability.” in some ways, she wants to be exactly like her mom: strong, independent, unbothered, worldly. but a lot of that shatters the longer alma works professionally with rebecca and with the revelations surrounding rook. alma sees how much rebecca uses her as a crutch, projects her perceived failures onto alma’s life, and over-shelters her.

Relationship with Rook: alma doesn’t remember him and tries not to think of him often or fondly or at all BUT she has so many of his things. his flannels, his detective badge, his ancient comic book collection (which is the only reason she has her own). she has his eyes and his impulsive streak, his care for people of all varieties. she IS rook’s daughter and she ignores that fact so it doesn’t hurt her.

Relationship with Bobby: they used to be very close, slightly flirty friends but there’s no way in hell alma can trust him now. (i originally had bobby as alma’s ex but it was all getting a little too Bella Swan for me. like bobby, douglas, the werewolves, falk, and mason like????? it was a bit much so bobby’s just an old ex-friend)

Relationship with Verda: alma fucking loves verda. that’s her mentor, that’s her dad friend. she feels a sense of Pride and Accomplishment when she can make verda laugh or impress him in the lab, or both. alma’s fond of spending evenings over his place with eric and the kids, making dinner, or just hanging out.

Relationship with Tina: tina was alma’s first friend as a kid. they lost touch in high school because tina was bubbly and cute and popular, while alma was… not. but the summer before they left for college they ran into each other at a house party and since that reconnection, they’ve been thick as thieves. it was like nothing had changed. tina is a light in alma’s life, and alma lets tina lean into the stranger parts of herself without judgment.

Relationship with the Mayor: thinks he’s a creep and a bad parent.

Relationship with Capt. Sung: appreciates how he prioritizes the town and its people, but thinks he could loosen up a bit.

Relationship with Haley: haley is a couple of years older than alma but they’ve known each other forever. alma admires haley’s work ethic and cheery attitude.

Relationship with Elidor: oh man, alma is absolutely stunned by elidor. he’s beautiful, kind, and knowledgeable. in those early days, elidor is responsible for quite a bit of her supernatural education. alma grills him while he nurses her back to health. her curiosity is refreshing to him.

Relationship with Tapeesa/Vieno: alma thinks vieno is cute and funny, says hi when she sees them around, but they’re not best friends or anything. she can’t shake the thought that they’re basically a fae version of danny devito.

Relationship with Unit Alpha: absolutely smitten with lesedi. she’s never seen a more beautiful woman. tamiko ends up being a pretty good friend. the twins are on her social periphery but alma’s not close with them.

Relationship with the Maa-alused: alma sincerely wants to help them adjust to life in this world and takes that goal very seriously. at the same time she really really wishes falk hadn’t developed this weird attachment to her.

Do they have any other important relationships, past or present? (Relatives, friends, etc.?): YES. i’ve thrown another oc in wayhaven for the express purpose of being The Detective. His name is javi. alma met him in college and they were fast friends. alma convinced him to try out wayhaven after graduation. They lived together for a while and now they, along with tina, can often be seen in the corner booth of chen’s pub.

she was also very close with her maternal grandmother before she died. she was raised by her while rebecca was absent, but i need to develop this more.

her cat, october, whom she’s had for five years. he’s a sweet, mostly black tortie that can hardly meow. alma adopted him as an adult when she got her own place.

PERSONAL BIO

Describe their personality: alma is so open and ready to accept new possibilities. she’s the sort of person that embraces what scares her, finds beauty in it, and loves it intensely. she’s sharp and resourceful. i wouldn’t exactly describe her as hard-working, but she’s knowledgeable about her field and tries to be helpful when she has a goal in mind.

she’s quite tactile. touchy with other people. likes to use her hands for work or hobbies. she doesn’t really mind being alone for long stretches of time but would prefer not to be. she wants others to want to be around her.

she’s also terrible at being honest about her trauma. everything is fine, she’s fine, she doesn’t need to talk about this :) :) :) she will handle the breakdown when it happens and not one second before. also, with quick wit comes uncontrollable sarcasm and it does not always hit well.

Strengths: the only person in unit bravo that knows how to use google

Weaknesses: squishy

Where in the world is their Wayhaven?: super torn here because wayhaven feels inland to me, but i think i’ve finally settled on the north carolina coast but not like the outer banks area. If not there, then maybe virginia, closer to the chesapeake bay.

What is their personal history?: alma is born to rook and rebecca in wayhaven. spends her childhood being raised mostly by her grandmother, idolizes rebecca. academic success comes easily for her; a heavy interest in science leads to a scholarship at a university just far away enough to feel like she’s Leaving The Nest. alma dates a bit in college but she’s the type to end up becoming friends with everyone she sleeps with and romance is difficult for her to cultivate. when she does date, the relationships are short-lived. she returns to wayhaven after school and puts her degree to work in wayhaven’s police department. she wishes she’d applied for a position in the city but craves the comfort (and tbh, the low stakes) of home.

If they weren’t a detective, what would their dream job be?: she’s a forensic analyst and honestly?? it’s a pretty dreamy job for her. she loves being a scientist, loves helping people, and isn’t easily grossed out.

Anything else you’d like to share: has tried to stay overnight in an ikea. did not succeed.

RANDOM FACTS

Zodiac sign: gemini

Hobbies: reading peer-reviewed journals, watching terrible sci-fi, collecting comic books and mugs, thrift shopping

Likes: good hair days, denim jackets, vanilla candles, halloween, unflavored lipbalm, driving at night, that warm “surrounded by love” feeling, snails, fuzzy socks

Dislikes: the lights while driving at night, winter, dry skin, minimalist decor, smudged glasses, being overwhelmed with choices

Drink of choice: white wine usually, white russians if she’s out at chen’s, or shots of jaeger if she’s feeling trashy

Starbucks order: grande flat white with 3 pumps of toffee nut syrup and a sprinkle of cinnamon

Favorite food: a simple, fresh spaghetti pomodoro OR lemon meringue pie

Favorite color: golden mustard yellow

Favorite music: she loves just about everything and it’s heavily dependant on her mood. (this is actually really difficult to think about without feeling like i'm giving her my exact taste in music but here's a little playlist that fits her vibe)

Favorite genre (and favorite movie/book/etc): science fiction or psychological thrillers, but her favorite movie is oliver and company.

Favorite season: fall

Anything else you’d like to share: has a stupid amount of blankets stashed around her apartment. she really does not like being cold.

#alma greene #twc #i uhhh i spent a very long time on this and i'm still like #who is this person #but it's fine it's fine #i can rest

[edwardsvirginity]

And now... I introduce my best friend to Eclipse! 

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[riley’s first appearance]

Friend: who's that

mike?

(the rest of the commentary for the movie is under the readmore!)

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[bella reciting the opening monologue: some say the world will end in fire…]

Friend: wow…drama queen

--0000000--

[Edward and bella in the meadow]

Friend: is this real or is this more of her crazy headspace

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Edward: marry me

Bella: I have an English final

Friend: wow……. Rude

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[Charlie grounding bella]

Friend: charlie…. is the only sane character tbh lmfao

he knows an abusive relationship when he sees one

--0000000--

[Edward sabatoges bella’s truck]

Friend:  Y I K E S

A B U S I V E

this is not romantic lol

--0000000--

Renee: I just want to make sure ur making the right choices for you

Friend: she's NOT

--0000000--

[renee gives bella the quilt from all their trips]

Friend: awwww

except she's selling out her fam for bloodsuckers

--0000000--

[all the cullens wait for Victoria in the forest]

Friend: is it whatshername

the redheaded bitch

--0000000--

Friend: i'm just gonna say….alice and carlisle are the only valid vampires

Me: whyso?

Friend: idk anything about jasper and emmett, edward is weird, who else even is there

--0000000--

Me: [pauses movie because a spider has appeared by my head and I’m freaking out]

[it lands on my laptop and I scream and close it]

Ok… we can resume

Friend: what happened?

Me: [explains]

Him: ? ? ? why didn't you kill it?!

Me: killing it requires getting close enough to touch it, and that's Too Close

i don't kill spiders

anyway

Him: what?!? lmfao

you don't kill spiders

Me: killing them is too scary

Him: i'd rather kill it and know it's dead than wonder where it is

wow

me: i just scream until someone else comes to do it for me

him: that's a lot to take in

--0000000--

[jake confronting Edward about being on their territory]

Edward: I was trying to protect u by not telling u abt Victoria

Friend: mmmm yikes

bella just needs to move tf back to florida

this is….Too Much

--0000000--

[bella goes to lapush]

Friend: tbh i like his pack

--0000000--

Leah: if ur here to torture jake some more u can leave

Friend: oooooh

burn

--0000000--

[movie introduces imprinting]

Friend: tbh i think that whole concept is insane™ and i dont get it

bc it like absolves you of your own…actions

& removes the other person's choice

it's really fucking creepy

--0000000--

Friend: also it would be soooo weird to be able to read people's thoughts

Me: i know it would freak me out

i would hate being able to hear everything my packmates thought

Friend: i don't need anyone else to know how horny i am

--0000000--

[Jacob arguing with bella about the cullens]

Jacob: theyre not even alive

Friend: "they're not even alive" y i k e s

--0000000--

[riley creeping in bella’s house]

Friend: man i'd be sleepin with a shotgun lmfao

& like 12 dogs

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[Edward yelling at bella abt bella disappearing with jake]

Me: he’s so overprotective

Friend: she needs it tho

Me: because she's such a danger magnet?

Friend: um….yeah

& she is a fucking damsel in distress

she has no power of her own :((

--0000000--

Friend: he's so…ugly

me: Edward?

Friend: yeah ……….

--0000000--

[Jake appears shirtless]

Edward: doesn’t he own a shirt

Friend: “doesn't he own a shirt"

LMFAO edward voicing my thoughts

--0000000--

[Edward kissing bella before passing her off to jake, who immediately hugs her]

Friend: the way they …. fight with each other by using her body :|

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Friend: what do native americans think of this?

Me: [explains]

Friend: so what is the redeeming quality of these movies exactly lmfao

Me: they’re… fun?

Friend: i guess

like indiana jones

racist trash, but fun(?)

--0000000--

Me: I hate his sideburns in this movie

Friend: don't think they're that bad

his whole face tho is not great

especially pale af

--0000000--

[nonconsensual kiss scene]

Jake: ill fight until ur heart stops beating

Bella: u wont have to wait for long

Friend: YIKES

--0000000--

[Edward and Jake fighting post-punch]

Jake: she’s not sure what she wants

Friend: Y I K E S

--0000000--

[Carlisle bandaging bella]

Friend: carlisle is so hot

i wanna marry dr. carlisle

the way he medicines everyone up…

wow

 [..]

edward is useless

seduce Carlisle

 [..]

edward's been alive 100 years and hasn't become a doctor??? c'mon

--0000000--

[Rosalie killing her rapists]

Friend: LM FAO

love that

W O W

that's a more interesting story than bella's LMFAO

--0000000--

[Rosalie trying to convince bella to stay human]

Rose: there’s one thing you’ll want more than Edward… one thing you’ll kill for… blood

Friend: ohhh….

SHE REAL

--0000000--

Friend: & also bella's assumption that Edward is That Great

she's 18….. she hasn't even TRIED college boys

 [..]

has she even had sex with anyone, ever?

--0000000--

Friend: Evil Dakota Fanning is ….. scary af

--0000000--

Friend: i'll say what i want about stephanie meyer being a fucked up mormon…. but her music taste is p good

Me: she didn’t do the soundtracks

Friend: ummm…i remember stephanie meyer specifically thanking Muse in her books

in the "acknolwedgements" section

 or did you, the twilight princess, not read that part

--0000000--

[graduation party]

Friend: I feel like there should be a twilight spoof..

where a high school girl has to choose between dating a furry and a goth

bc that's what this feels like to me

--0000000--

Friend: he freaks me out

the beefy one

--0000000--

[training scene]

Friend: jasper's kinda sexy too

well, everyone looks good next to robert :|

--0000000--

[jasper’s backstory]

Friend: jasper was a confederate soldier?!?!??!

what?? lmfao

confederate vampires? thanks i hate it

--0000000--

Friend: didn't he have like a life and morals before becoming a vampire or

i mean i guess he's a confederate so maybe not but

--0000000--

[jasper’s backstory]

Friend: he just listens to her lmfao

his Evil Mexican Bruja

--0000000--

[about Victoria]

Friend: she should just make someone sexy a vampire and fuck them tho

she has the power here

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[about Jacob]

Friend: is there a REASON he never wears a shirt?

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[Jake trying to convince bella she has feelings for him]

Jake: you can love more than one person… like sam, Emily, and leah

Friend: thruple!

that's the only resolution here

jacob & edward need to fuck each other and get over it

there's too much tension between them

--0000000--

Alice: you and Edward will have the house to yourself tonight

Friend: oooooo

Alice: you’re welcome

Friend: LMFAO

alice is a bro

--0000000--

Bella [immediately after the scene with Alice]: hey dad, I was wondering

Friend: hey dad… i was wondering. do you have any condoms

--0000000--

Bella: dad I’m a virgin

Friend: not for long….

--0000000--

Friend: but like honestly it's all so deeply unclear to me

he has like no blood, right?

HOW does he get hard

Me: he’s always hard

Friend: i don't think that's how that works

--0000000--

[Edward and bella in edward’s room]

Bella: I wanna ask u something

Friend: "can we fuck"

--0000000--

Friend: i feel like "becoming a vampire" is just a metaphor for "losing virginity"

--0000000--

[Bella tried to jump Edward]

Edward: bella…no

Friend: ???????????

they already kiss and stuff?????????

Me: yeah

i think he's worried he'd like. fuck her to death

idk… her vulva is delicate i guess

 Friend: they could do some Other Stuff

Me: yeah i know

edward is just…. too old school to understand anything but piv

Friend: fuck her to death…with his flaccid vampire dick

 [..]

this is so………Weird

?????????? sex is not a sin

--0000000--

[Edward talking abt how he would have courted bella in 1918]

Friend: ???????????? i dont believe that at all

people fucked in the 1800s

edward is a fucking weirdo

[Edward starts his grand speech]

Friend: Ew

this is…. a Lot

tbh it's Not Sexy that he can't adapt to a more feminist era

[Edward proposes]

Friend: this is…… a Lot

he Keeps Asking

[bella accepts]

Friend: she's only saying yes because she's horny!!!!

--0000000--

Friend: also….tbh it's sad that these vampires have to deny their instincts and have no control over themselves

like ….maybe they should just be euthanized

 Me: :O

Friend: is it fair to deny them their nature???

we don't force tigers to be vegetarians

what is the difference

Me: because… they're sentient and intellectual and can decide for themselves not to eat humans

Friend: i'm not sure i buy that

Me: you think they're not smart enough to make their own decision not to eat humans?

Friend: it seems like they have to be rehabilitated to deny a very natural instinct that they have no control over

are the cullens themselves a metaphor for mormonism?

 Me: yeah but carlisle CHOSE a vegetarial lifestyle… no one forced it on him

Friend: i guess

but at what cost

lmao

--0000000--

[tent scene]

Jacob: I am hotter than u

Friend: LMFAO

--0000000--

Friend: why didn't they bring more blankets?????

how fucking cold is it

Dumbasses

--0000000--

[Edward and jake arguing over bella]

Friend: idk bella….

i'd rather fuck a hot wolf than a freezing rock hard PussyDestroying Vampire

those wolves are HUGE…. huge dicks im sure

--0000000--

[Edward talking about how he doesn’t want bella to be a vamp to jake]

 Friend: i feel like they're Bonding

over their inability to control this woman lmfao

--0000000--

[jake and Edward fighting over bella]

Friend: bella is not that interesting? ? ? ?

--0000000--

Edward: if you weren’t trying to steal bella I might actually like u

Friend: wow

THIS is where they should fuck

t h r u p l e

look deep into each other's eyes

--0000000--

Friend: she'd warm up if they were having sex

--0000000--

[post tent scene]

Friend: she's not even wearing a hat rn

bella…what the fuck

--0000000--

[Edward and bella talking about being engaged, jake overhears]

Bella: it’s the 21st century

Friend: yeah, it is the 21st century…. marry them both

--0000000--

[bella asks jake to kiss her]

Friend: what the FUCK is happening

--0000000--

[bella and jake making out]

Friend: she's not even wearing anything warm

--0000000--

[battle]

Friend: carlisle…. kung fu master

Me: renaissance man

Friend: only breaks the hippocratic oath when absolutely necessary

--0000000--

[confrontation with riley and Victoria, Edward trying to convince riley to turn on Victoria]

Edward: think about it riley.. .you’re from forks… you know the area

Friend: "you're from forks… who would want that"

--0000000--

[Carlisle healing jake]

Friend: god…..my sexy, classy dad

… so smart….. so kind

--0000000--

Bella: I’m not normal

Friend: bella….you are SO normal

the reason every middle school girl read these books and thought they were like bella is bc you are just THAT normal

--0000000--

Edward: I guess we should start planning the wedding

Bella: no… something more difficult first… more dangerous

Friend: is she still talking about her virginity

#best friend movie night #eclipse #twilight #twilight renaissance #twilight saga #tts #the twilight saga #twilight revival #twilight in 2020 #twilightenment #twilight: eclipse #let me know what you guys think of this format as opposed to the endless reblogging

[lvllns]

otp tag!

oh holy shit this was a whole thing. i was tagged by @rosebarsoap​, @solasan​, @impossible-rat-babies​, and i’m sure others but my activity feed is a disaster i’m sorry if i missed u. thank y’all for the tags!!

pretty sure everyone has been tagged at this point? i can’t keep track anymore, my brain is mush. if you wanna do this, you’re tagged now!

DISAGREEMENTS. Who is more likely to raise their voice?: Neither of them. At most, they get a hard edge to their voice or speak in clipped tones. It's always about risks being taken.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?: NEITHER OF THEM. There is no way Sparrow or Mason would ever do that.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?: NOBODY LEAVES.

Who trashes the house?: Who the fuck? NEITHER OF THEM!

Do either of them get physical?: NO.

How often do they argue/disagree?: Very, very, very, rarely. It's always about, like, one of them just fuckin doing something and getting injured or being put in danger and the other panicking about it. Or the two of them ignoring the other one telling them to save somebody else and instead saving each other. LISTEN.

Who is the first to apologize?: They both do, like in the middle of whatever they're talking about. It's always like "I'm sorry but I'd do it again" and the other person just "I know and I love you but I think you shaved 5 years off my life."

SEX. Who is on top? Who is on bottom?: This changes every single time.

Any kinks?: Sparrow is with a vampire. You get one guess. A lot of it is Sparrow.......uh, learning things about themself as this goes so like. They discover they're into choking when Mason puts his hand on their neck one time. Ya know. Absolutely into praise as well.

Who has the strangest desires?: I don't know that either of them really want anything considered strange??? I mean, Sparrow wants him to bite them but I feel like Mason would be onboard so.

Who’s dominant in bed?: Mason probably more often than Sparrow, though it definitely flip flops depending. I feel like once Sparrow is more confident, they'd be more up for taking the lead.

Is head ever in the equation?: Of fucking course it is.

If so, who is better at performing it?: Mason for sure.

Ever had sex in public?: They fucked in a haunted house at a carnival.

Who moans the most?: They're both pretty quiet I think, each of them takes great pride in making the other get vocal. A lot of like, soft moans and grunts and whispers.

Who leaves the most marks?: Mason on Sparrow, bc his whack ass healing makes it impossible for Sparrow to leave marks on him, even though they try.

Who is the more experienced of the two?: Mason for sure. Sparrow hasn't........had a lot of experience.

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?: They make love baby. Even when it gets rougher, it’s never really fucking. Well, okay, wait, maybe they fucked in the haunted house....that’s not exactly.....an environment conducive to love making.

How long do they usually last?: A...av....average? I don't know enough about sex for this section.

Rough or soft?: Soft most of the time.

Is protection used?: Like 99% of the time, yeah.

Does it ever get boring?: Lol no. Mason is Mason and Sparrow is always up for an adventure or a challenge.

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?: THEY. FUCKED. IN. A. HAUNTED. HOUSE. AT. A. CARNIVAL.

Where did they not have sex?: I mean they probably wouldn't fuck, like, in a gas station bathroom?

FAMILY. Do they plan on having children/or have children?: This is so complicated and requires it's own post tbh. Currently, no kids and no plans for kids but it's.......yeah, it's just complicated.

If so, how many children do they want/have?: See above.

AFFECTION. Who likes to cuddle?: Oh they both do, Sparrow initiates it more though.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?: Fucking, both of them. Handsy mother fuckers.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?: BOTH OF THEM. Early in a relationship, Mason more often, but once Sparrow is comfortable? All bets are off, sorry. Don't go into the library ever.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?: There is no becoming uncomfortable, they both just pass out. Or Sparrow falls asleep and Mason is legally unable to move, it's like cat rules.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?: Mason will sit and braid Sparrow's hair while they read. Sparrow likes to just sit with Mason, like leaning on each other, watching a show or talking. Just, they really just like to exist together. Also, fucking off into the woods to go camping.

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?: Literally anywhere, Sparrow is not picky and both of them are so tactile, who gives a shit.

SLEEPING. Who snores?: Neither of them.

If both do, who snores the loudest?: Listen.

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?: Oh they share a bed for sure. If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?: Sparrow clings to Mason like an octopus.

What do they wear to bed?: Nothing, they both sleep naked.

Are either of them insomniacs?: Nah. Sparrow runs fine on like 4-6 hours of sleep though.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?: Nope.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?: Sparrow likes to wrap themself around Mason but sometimes they will just lay side by side and like, hold hands.

Who wakes up with bed hair?: They both do, Sparrow's is probably worse considering it's long and slightly wavy.

Who wakes up first?: Surprisingly, Sparrow! Only because Mason will fall asleep after they've been asleep for some time already so they wake up before he does.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?: Sparrow is too worried about crumbs in the bed bothering Mason to even think about eating in bed.

What is their favourite sleeping position?: Mason flat on his back, Sparrow with a leg slung over his hip, arm across his chest and their head smashed against whatever part of him is nearest.

Do they set an alarm each night?: Yeah.

Who has nightmares?: They both do, though I think Sparrow is the only one who remembers them after they wake. Mason, luckily, forgets his dreams.

Can a television be found in their bedroom?: Nope, laptops can though.

Who has ridiculous dreams?: Again, both. Again, Mason forgets them while Sparrow remembers.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?: MASON. He just spreads out and Sparrow tucks themself against him, it works fine really.

Who makes the bed?: Mason most often because Sparrow tends to get sidetracked and forget.

What time is bed time?: When Sparrow next passes out is up to the Gods. Mason just crashes whenever he finally feels tired.

Any routines/rituals before bed?: They'll watch an episode or two of a show. Sparrow will meditate. Mason often tries to break their focus.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?: Probably Mason? Sparrow is an annoying morning person.

WORK. Who is the busiest?: Oh they both are. Maybe Sparrow slightly more because of the whole, working for the PD and the Agency thing.

Who rakes in the highest income?: I feel like it ends up pretty even eventually?

Are any of them unemployed?: Nah.

Who takes the most sick days?: I guess Sparrow would, though it's very rare. Mason can't get sick, bastard.

What are their jobs?: Sparrow is a detective and agency liaison. Mason is a specialist agent for the Agency.

Who sucks up to their boss?: I don't think either of them do? Sparrow is polite with the Captain but he's nice enough. They definitely don't suck up to Adam or Rebecca or whomstever is in charge of them at the Agency.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?: Neither of them. Sparrow has Anxiety so they're always at least 10 minutes early.

Who stresses the most?: SPARROW.

Do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?: Mason enjoys what he does for sure. Sparrow.......never wanted to be doing this. At all. They definitely aren't thrilled but they do like it, it's just......not what they wanted.

Are they financially stable?: Oh yeah.

HOME. Who does the washing?: Even trade off I think.

Who takes out the trash?: Sparrow.

Who does the ironing?: Neither of them lmao

Who does the cooking?: Sparrow! Mason likes to sit on the counter and talk while they cook.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?: Mason lmao

Who is messier?: Even split again. Sparrow will set something down, get sidetracked, and then that book stays on the counter for five days until Mason is like "Bird you forgot your book." It's less.....intentionally messy and more just....brain going sideways.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty?: Neither of them.

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?: BOTH OF THEM. There is a HAMPER and they both just throw their clothes on the ground like HEATHENS.

Who forgets to flush the toilet?: Fucking NEITHER OF THEM.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?: Nope, absolutely never happens. Sparrow's anxiety kicks in and overrides the ADHD and the keys are always in sight.

Who answers the telephone?: If it's not a work call for Sparrow, then Mason.

Who mows the lawn?: Currently, neither of them bc there is no lawn lmao.

Who does the vacuuming?: Sparrow.

Who does the groceries?: Both together because they like doing it together. Mason enjoys putting random shit in the cart and seeing if Sparrow notices.

Who takes the longest to shower?: dasjgnd they're both very quick about showers, so neither?

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?: Sparrow I guess. They're both very much like, there's no real routine. They just fiddle with their hair and go.

MISCELLANEOUS. Is money a problem?: Nah.

How many cars do they own?: Just Sparrow's ol' reliable right now.

What’s their song?: We Love Like Vampires by Sparks the Rescue. Me & You by Honne.

Do they live in the city or in the country?: Country for sure. Both of them like the quiet.

Do they own their home or do they rent?: Right now, Sparrow rents their apartment.

Do they enjoy their surroundings?: I think so, yeah. Sparrow wishes they weren't still in Wayhaven sometimes but it's fine.

What do they do when they’re away from each other?: Whatever needs to be done? There isn't like something specific they have to do if they're apart, they just go on with their day.

Where did they first meet?: Formally, Sparrow's office when Rebecca introduced the entire team.

Who spends the most money when out shopping?: Gods, both of them?

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?: Mason, I guess.

Any mental issues?: Sparrow is a whole Mess honestly, anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, etc. etc.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?: Both of them, bastards that they are.

Who’s terrified of bugs?: Eh, neither of them.

Who kills the spiders around the house?: NOBODY. Sparrow scoops them up and puts them outside.

Do they have any fears for their future?: The inevitable "Sparrow is going to die, Mason is an immortal vampire" obviously.

Their favourite place?: Somewhere in the woods together.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?: Mason, since, you know, he doesn't really enjoy eating food.

Who pays the bills?: They both do.

Who’s the tallest?: Mason by like 6 inches.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?: Mason, though Sparrow will too. He just does it more often.

Who wanders around in their underwear?: Oh they both do.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?: Sparrow, though it's rare they do.

What do they tease each other about?: Mason likes to good naturedly tease Sparrow about their bookish nature. Sparrow will squish his cheeks when he glares and grin at him.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?: MASON. Oh Gods, Sparrow is....listen, if they aren't dressed professionally for work or going out, they're a hot mess. I'm talking like bright green hoodie, neon yellow leggings, hot pink running shoes. Like a Lisa Frank folder exploded on a human being.

Who crushed first?: Mason. It took Sparrow a bit to be like "oh it's more than thinking his face is just nice, okay."

Any alcohol or substance related problems?: Nah, Sparrow doesn't drink.

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?: Neither of them, considering the above and Mason's vampire biology.

Who swears the most?: Oh they both do. Sparrow looks sweet but they..........listen. They have the mouth of a sailor tbh. You get the two of them in a room together and let them talk and it's a mess of swearing.

#caiti.txt #long post #c: sparrow kingston #mason x sparrow #SURE HOPE THAT READ MORE WORKS #holy shit this was a whole thing wow it took me....a few days lmao

[bookishable]

half-blood prince book moments

“you can do magic! surely you can sort out anything!” “the trouble is, the other side can do magic too, prime minister.”

“it is a long time since my last visit, i must say, your agapanthuses are flourishing.”

‘it was clear that as far as he was concerned, any man who could look at harry and say ‘excellent’ was a man with whom he could never see eye to eye.’

‘the dursleys tried to ignore their glasses completely, a difficult feat, as they were nudging them gently on the sides of their heads. harry could not suppress a suspicion that dumbledore was rather enjoying himself.’

“and now, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.”

“ah, yes, of course, i haven’t told you” the harry potter series, a summary

“you have not asked me, for instance, what is my favourite flavour of jam, to check that i am indeed professor dumbledore, and not an impostor. for future reference, it is raspberry … although of course, if i were a death eater, i would have been sure to research my own jam-preferences before impersonating myself.”

‘he seemed remarkably unabashed for a man who had just been discovered pretending to be an armchair.’

slughorn being more than a comedy character and being more prejudiced against muggle-borns than the movie showed

“i realised i can’t shut myself away or crack up. sirius wouldn’t have wanted that, would he? and anyway, life’s too short … it could be me next, couldn’t it? but if it is, i’ll make sure i take as many death eaters with me as i can, and voldemort too if i can manage it.”

“i won’t have to do occlumency lessons with snape, will i? because they were a—” “i think the word ‘fiasco’ would be a good one here”

“what is your dearest ambition?” “to find out how aeroplanes stay up.”

“mollywobbles”

“dumbledore says people find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right” “sounds like the sort of mental thing dumbledore would say” “he’s going to be giving me private lessons this year” said harry conversationally

‘a warmth was spreading through him that had nothing to do with the sunlight; a tight obstruction in his chest seemed to be dissolving. the mere fact that they were still there on either side of him, speaking bracing words of comfort, not shrinking from him as though he were contaminated or dangerous, was worth more than he could ever tell them.’

harry getting an outstanding in the defence against the dark arts OWL

“who blacked your eye, granger? i want to send them flowers.” i’m sorry but this is such a great insult

“dumbledore won’t always be there to protect you.” “wow … look at that … he’s not here now! so why not have a go? they might be able to find you a double cell in azkaban with your loser of a husband!”

the weasley twins’ shop window telling people to worry about ‘u-no-poo’ instead of you-know-who

the constipation sensation that’s gripping the nation

hermione saying fred and george’s products are “extraordinary magic”

“certainly they work, for up to twenty-four hours at a time depending on the weight of the boy in question—” “—and the attractiveness of the girl”

fred and george accusing ginny of going out with five boys and ginny being like “last time i looked, dean thomas was definitely one boy, not five.”

“people expect you to have cooler friends than us” “you are cool, none of them was at the ministry. they didn’t fight with me.” “that’s a very nice thing to say” i honestly love luna and harry’s friendship

slughorn inviting ginny to lunch on the train because of her “marvellous” bat bogey hex on zacharias smith

nick: harry potter knows that he can confide in me with complete confidence, i would rather die than betray his trust. ron: that’s not saying much, seeing as you’re already dead nick: once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe

“snape’ll be gone by the end of the year, that job’s jinxed. quirrell actually died doing it. personally, i’m going to keep my fingers crossed for another death …” christ harry is a savage but tbh same

‘it was a mark of the strength of their friendship that ron did not laugh.’

“it’s high time your grandmother learned to be proud of the grandson she’s got, rather than the one she thinks she ought to have” stan minerva mcgonagall

“there’s no need to call me ‘sir’, professor.”

“i thought he sounded a bit like you. when you were telling us what it’s like to face voldemort. you said it wasn’t just memorising a bunch of spells, you said it was just you and your brains and your guts—well, wasn’t that what snape was saying? that it really comes down to being brave and quick-thinking?”

the polyjuice potion being something students should be able to make after completing their NEWTS, but which hermione made at age thirteen

slughorn giving hermione points for knowing all the potions and being an intelligent muggle-born, and ‘malfoy looked rather as he had done the time hermione had punched him in the face.’

“it’s not quidditch that’s popular, it’s you! you’ve never been more interesting and, frankly, you’ve never been more fanciable.”

hermione: harry’s got scars from umbridge ron: look at where those brains attacked me hermione: he’s grown over the summer ron: i’m tall

‘he did not usually lie in bed reading his textbooks; that sort of behaviour, as ron rightly said, was indecent in anybody except hermione, who was simply weird that way.’

‘the prince had proved a much more effective teacher than snape so far.’ hm right

“it’s only muggle-borns they hate, they’d be quite happy to let you and ron join up.” “my whole family are blood traitors!” “and they’d love to have me, we’d be best pals if they didn’t keep trying to do me in.”

ron and hermione’s ‘new policy of feigning deafness whenever harry mentioned his malfoy-is-a-death-eater theory’

“nice suit, sir”

“very astute, harry, but the mouth-organ was only ever a mouth-organ.”

tHe SLuG cLUb

‘it was natural that he should want to rip dean limb from limb for kissing her … no … he would have to control that particular brotherly feeling …’

“it looks like he’s eating her face, doesn’t it? but i suppose he’s got to refine his technique somehow.”

‘harry could not help admiring her spellwork at a time like this.’

‘ginny kept cropping up in his dreams in ways that made him devoutly thankful that ron could not perform legilimency.’

madam pince ‘looked as though she might have a seizure’ after seeing the half-blood prince’s book

‘arguing about whether or not filch and madam pince were secretly in love’

“he says very funny things sometimes, doesn’t he? but he can be a bit unkind. i noticed that last year.”

‘luna was demonstrating her usual knack of speaking uncomfortable truths; he had never met anyone quite like her.’

“what did you have to imitate her for?” “she laughed at my moustache!” “so did i, it was the stupidest thing i’ve ever seen.”

harry’s observation that ‘girls were very strange sometimes’

‘harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge.’

the guy named worple at slughorn’s party bringing along his friend sanguini who happened to be a vampire

sanguini: *edges towards group of girls* worple: here, have a pasty

luna telling everyone that the aurors are part of the rotfang conspiracy “they’re working from within to bring down the ministry of magic using a combination of dark magic and gum disease”

ron: you can’t break an unbreakable vow harry: well it’s a good thing i have at least one brain cell

“fred reckons his left buttock has never been the same since.” “yeah, well, passing over fred’s left buttock—”

“aaah, george, look at this. they’re using knives and everything. bless them.”

*the twins discussing ron and lavender* “did she have an accident or something?” “what?” “well, how did she sustain such extensive brain damage?”

“he called it my ‘furry little problem’ in company. many people were under the impression that i owned a badly behaved rabbit.”

lavender giving ron a necklace saying ‘my sweetheart’ for christmas

kreacher sending harry a package of maggots and him being like “i’d rather have them than that necklace”

“you might have noticed he’s not minister anymore, but dumbledore’s still headmaster. i’d leave dumbledore alone, if i were you.”

‘percy had stormed from the house on christmas day with his glasses splattered with mashed parsnip (for which fred, george and ginny all claimed credit).’

“stay out of trouble” “i always do, mrs weasley, i like a quiet life, you know me.”

“he accused me of being ‘dumbledore’s man through and through’.” “how very rude of him.” “i told him i was.”

“blessed as i am with extraordinary brainpower, i understood everything you told me”

‘there was a certain amount of ill-feeling towards wilkie twycross and his three Ds, which had inspired a number of nicknames for him, the politest of which were dog-breath and dung-head.’

‘friends they might be, but if ron started calling lavender ‘lav-lav’, he would have to put his foot down.’

harry resisting the urge to let ron run around under the effect of the love potion and instead taking him to be cured by slughorn because ‘they were supposed to be friends’

‘madam pomfrey seemed to have been counting hagrid as several people due to his vastness.’

“half our family does seem to owe you their lives, well, all i can say is that it was a lucky day for the weasleys when ron decided to sit in your compartment on the hogwarts express, harry.”

ron pretending to be asleep whenever lavender came to visit him in the hospital wing

luna’s commentary at the quidditch match

“smith was being quite rude about gryffindor, i expect he regrets that now he’s playing them—oh, look, he’s lost the quaffle, ginny took it from him, i do like her, she’s very nice …”

LOSER’S LURGY

harry: i want to find mclaggen and kill him madame pomfrey: that would come under the heading of over-exertion

‘harry’s imagination zoomed into overdrive, rapidly constructing a scene in which ginny, weeping over his lifeless form, confessed her feelings of deep attraction to him while ron gave them his blessing …’

“how d‘you spell ‘belligerent’? it can’t be B-U-M”

“we were asked how we’d deal with dementors, not ‘dugbogs’, and i don’t remember you changing your name to ‘roonil wazlib’, either.”

“i love you, hermione” “don’t let lavender hear you saying that.”

“the more i hint i want to finish it, the tighter she holds on. it’s like going out with the giant squid.”

“yeah, we don’t need to hear about you being in love with malfoy”

‘harry swore. someone screamed. he looked around to see a gaggle of first-years running back round the corner, apparently under the impression that they had just encountered a particularly foul-mouthed ghost.’

“ghosts are transparent.”

“when we come face to face with one down a dark alley we’re going to be having a shufti to see if it’s solid, aren’t we, we’re not going to be asking, ‘excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?’”

harry deciding to go to aragog’s funeral because he saw the tears left on the letter hagrid had sent them

ron thinking of using felix felicis to get slughorn’s memory

“this is felix felicis, i suppose? you haven’t got another little bottle full of—” “essence of insanity?”

“in spite of all the temptation you have endured, all the suffering, you remain pure of heart, just as pure as you were at the age of eleven, when you stared into a mirror that reflected your heart’s desire, and it showed you only the way to thwart lord voldemort, and not immortality or riches.”

‘it was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high. some people would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but dumbledore knew—and so do i, thought harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents—that there was all the difference in the world.’

“that’s my nickname”

‘there was ginny running towards him; she had a hard, blazing look in her face as she threw her arms around him. and without thinking, without planning it, without worrying about the fact that fifty people were watching, harry kissed her.’

“the truth is that you don’t think a girl would have been clever enough” “how can i have hung round with you for five years and not think girls are clever?”

harry admiring dumbledore swimming as they head to a cave on the most dangerous mission he’s ever been on, like ‘bloody hell this man is 300 years old look at his fantastic breaststroke’

“it is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.”

“i am not worried, harry, i am with you.”

‘harry felt, as he had felt about phoenix song before, that the music was inside him, not without: it was his own grief turned magically to song that echoed across the grounds and through the castle windows.’

“what do i care how ’e looks? i am good-looking enough for both of us, i theenk! all these scars show is zat my husband is brave!”

“young and whole men do not necessarily remain so.”

“dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world”

“i feel that if a single pupil wants to come, then the school ought to remain open for that pupil.”

“professor dumbledore always valued your views, and so do i.”

“no other headmaster or headmistress ever gave more to this school”

‘he felt no curiosity at all: he doubted that he would ever feel curious again.’

‘and he knew, without knowing how he knew it, that the phoenix had gone, had left hogwarts for good, just as dumbledore had left the school, had left the world … had left harry.’

‘all that appeared to have changed was that he now had a great liking for very rare steaks.’

“so eet ees lucky ’e is marrying me, because ze british overcook their meat, i ’ave always said this.”

“she was snape’s mother!” “i thought she wasn’t much of a looker”

‘the strange music and the knowledge that dumbledore’s body was so close seemed to take all warmth from the day.’

‘it was important, dumbledore said, to fight, and fight again, and keep fighting, for only then could evil be kept at bay, though never quite eradicated’

‘she met harry’s gaze with the same hard, blazing look, and he knew that at that moment they understood each other perfectly, and that when he told her what he was going to do now, she would accept his decision, because she would not have expected anything less of him.’

“i never really gave up on you”

scrimgeour: the ministry can add two and two harry, inwardly: but there’s no maths in the wizarding world harry, outwardly: glad to hear it

“he will only be gone from the school when none here are loyal to him”

“you said to us once before, that there was time to turn back if we wanted to. we’ve had time, haven’t we?”

“we’re with you whatever happens”

#hp book moments #half blood prince #harry potter books #harry potter quotes #hp textpost

[professional-anti]

Chapter Ten: City of Bones

Things that have happened since the last update: I moved into my new school in a whole different country, became problematic, and read one (1) book. So I’m pretty cultured atm. Let’s do this.

Part Two: Easy is the Descent We have an unstranslated quote from the Aeneid, I guess so CC can show off how smart she is.

Chapter Ten: City of Bones Everybody freaks tf out about the fact that Jocie was Voldemort’s wife. We have an actual, real-life, total gem from Clary:

"That's impossible! My mother would never-she was only ever married to my father! She didn't have an ex-husband!”

Clary….blease…….I’m begging u……..she makes it so easy………

Hodge lists off the other death eaters. I’m not even going to pretend they’re not death eaters. There’s no reason to. Anyway, they all got in trouble after the Uprising™, except the Lightwoods got “clemency” bc they had a baby. Which is ridiculous and makes no sense. Ppl don’t just get lighter sentences bc they have babies. Hodge’s punishment is that he has to stay in this mansion in New York. I thought the Clave would be more into capital punishment, just going off how much they suck, but I guess that would just hinder the story.

Hodge reveals that Voldemort wants the cup bc it can give him an army of Shadowhunters. Isabelle comes in to say that she ordered Chinese, which raises interesting questions. Wouldn’t the ppl delivering just see a decrepit, condemned house? Did she have to order to next door and wait outside?

In the kitchen (where Simon is still staring awkwardly at Isabelle), Isabelle says that she thinks the fact that Voldie is looking for Jocie is “kind of romantic”. You know, that this vile supremacist is hunting down the woman who left him. Super romantic. Then she says the “evil thing” is “sort of hot.” No, really:

"Isabelle," said Hodge patiently, "this is the man who rained down destruction on Idris the like of which it had never seen, who set Shadowhunter against Downworlder and made the streets of the Glass City run with blood." "That's sort of hot," Isabelle argued, "that evil thing.”

At least in Harry Potter, no one thought that Voldemort was hot. In fact, everyone rightly despised him for killing innocents and preaching hatred. Bellatrix Lestrange was physically attractive, and nobody tried to argue that her actions were hot. Because they saw the terror she brought. No one would call her carving “Mudblood” into Hermione’s arm “hot”.

Oh, and even worse, after Isabelle reveals she likes murderous racists, “Simon trie[s] to look menacing”. The whole situation is just so awkward. Hodge tells them that Valentine would use the cup on children (it would kill adults) and discard the children who couldn’t handle it. Isabelle finally gets that Voldemort is bad and that water is wet. Jace is super mad that Voldemort wants to harm muggle children bc Shadowhunters are all about protecting the muggles. Never mind that Jace has shown nothing but disrespect for them the entire book.

Hodge pushed his plate away. "Valentine was insane," he said. "Brilliant, but insane. He cared about nothing but killing demons and Downworlders. Nothing but making the world pure. He would have sacrificed his own son for the cause and could not understand how anyone else would not." "He had a son?" said Alec. "I was speaking figuratively," said Hodge, reaching for his handkerchief. He used it to mop his forehead before returning it to his pocket. His hand, Clary saw, was trembling slightly.

Could Hodge be any more obvious. No, really, I’m asking. Please be more obvious Hodge. All the readers are dumb as goldfish and wouldn’t understand subtly. We need bricks in the face. This is compounded by Hodge telling them that they shouldn’t do anything to stop Voldmort, that the Ministry of Magic will handle it. Hodge is sooo not on Voldemort’s side, you guys. Never!

They decide to go to the Silent Brothers to retrieve Clary’s memories, which they think will help them save Jocie from Valentine. The Silent Brothers are Shadowhunters who destroyed their bodies with runes and now have crazy mental powers. Honestly sounds a little creepy. I’d read a book about their order, tbh. Are they all guys, though? Then I wouldn’t read it. Also, they sound like Dementors.

That night, Clary has a dream that she’s dancing with Simon in the Glass City, and then Simon turns into Jace. The Symbolism is so real. Then Jace wakes her up, holding her wrists. Apparently she tried to hit him in her sleep, but he shouldn’t have grabbed her wrists. I can think of few things more terrifying than waking up to a boy restraining my arms. Apparently, she fell asleep in a hallway the night before and Jace and Hodge let her to a bedroom. Honestly confused how she fell asleep in a hallway, but we have bigger problems to deal with.

Oh. My. God. A silent brother (I’m done with the dumb capitalization. We don’t say a Congresswoman or a Principal or a Citizen) has arrived. And his name is. His name is. BROTHER JEREMIAH.

Clary gets dressed and wishes she could look more like Isabelle. Bc girls have to judge themselves on their appearance even during everday tasks, like getting dressed. They meet BJ in the library, and he’s described like a death eater with a white color scheme, basically:

For a moment she thought he was alone in the room: that Jace had been playing a joke on her. Then she saw a figure move out of the dimness, and she realized that what she had thought was a patch of darker shadow was a man. A tall man in a heavy robe that fell from neck to foot, covering him completely. The hood of the robe was raised, hiding his face. The robe itself was the color of parchment, and the intricate runic designs along the hem and sleeves looked as if they had been inked there in drying blood. The hair rose along Clary's arms and on the back of her neck, prickling almost painfully. "This," said Hodge, "is Brother Jeremiah of the Silent City." The man came toward them, his heavy cloak swirling as he moved, and Clary realized what it was about him that was strange: He made no sound at all as he walked, not the slightest footstep. Even his cloak, which should have rustled, was silent. She would almost have wondered if he were a ghost-but no, she thought as he halted in front of them, there was a strange, sweet smell about him, like incense and blood, the smell of something living.

BJ says that he can’t get Clary’s memories bc there’s some sort of magical “block” in her head, and that she has to come to the Brotherhood HQ in order to have it removed. BJ leaves on his own, and Clary and Jace go and stand on the corner. Jace is incredibly cruel about Simon. Then a black carriage disguised as a limo pulls up, driven by BJ himself. It’s honestly cool how the carriage moves thru NY traffic and no one nottices. It’s the exact touch of “magic hidden in New York” that I like. Clary and Jace also have a conversation about poetry and music, which reveals the distance between their worlds, that I like, so maybe this carriage is magical.

Oh, here we are. Back on our bullshit. Clary looks at Jace’s ring and thinks that “there would have been something feminine about a boy wearing a ring, but there wasn’t.” Let’s deconstruct, shall we? First of all, men wear rings all the time. Secondly, we get it, Jace is super super masculine, feminity in men is Bad, Jace would never at all be feminine in any way at all bc that’s gross right? Like, I love how Clare has to specify that this ring in no way, shape, or form makes Jace at all feminine. No one would have thought it, and, also, there’s nothing wrong with femininity in anyone.

Jace says that he didn’t tell Hodge the identities of the guys Luke was talking to bc then Hodge would know that Jace wouldn’t take no for an answer re killing Valentine. He gives a pretty realistically traumatized description of his father’s death:

"I was ten," Jace said. She turned to look at him. He was without expression. It always seemed like some color drained out of him when he talked about his father. "We lived in a manor house, out in the country. My father always said it was safer away from people. I heard them coming up the drive and went to tell him. He told me to hide, so I hid. Under the stairs. I saw those men come in. They had others with them. Not men. Forsaken. They overpowered my father and cut his throat. The blood ran across the floor. It soaked my shoes. I didn't move.”

Bare bones, emotionless, disconnected. I approve. Honestly, I like the next part too. Clary shows emotion while attempting to comfort Jace, and Jace tells her that he’s not unhappy bc he has a purpose. It shows a bit about their respective upbringings.

Jace says that demons are worse than everything else (e.g. vampires and warlocks) bc the latter are part human while the former are “interdimensional parasites”. Doesn’t explain why Jace is such a dick to the other Downworlders, though. If I remember correctly, he’s going to be a total asshole to vampires at some party later on. I wouldn’t mind Jace’s disgust as much if it weren’t so confusing. The book contradicts itself so much. It’s demons he doesn’t like, no it’s all Downworlders, he’s all about protecting mundies, but actually, he hates them. It flip-flops back and forth, leaving me with little understanding of Jace’s psyche.

They end up at the Marble Cemetary and take a secret passageway under a statue into BJ and co’s lair.

You know why I think this seems so good to me? I read a little bit more of ACOMAFail last night, and this writing is so much better in comparison.

Anyway, the lair called the Silent City (so many cities), and it’s giant and underground has archways with shadowhunter ashes mixed in. Pretty cool. Clary also has a moment where she tells the brothers they have to wait for her to be ready for them to go inside her head. Showing agency, girl!

The brothers do their thing, and a bunch of memories come into Clary’s mind. Among others, there’s a box with the initials J.C. on it (Jesus Christ?) and a doorway with the name “MAGNUS BANE” over the door. When she comes to, she’s lying on the marble floor and has blood all over her arm. Not sure what she managed to cut herself on. The floor should have bruised her, not cut her. Anything for the Drama, I guess. Jace heals her with a stele. Anyway, the block can’t be removed, and they have to go find Magnus Bane. Clary and Jace leave. The end.

#anti cassandra clare #anti the mortal instruments #book snark #CoB: Chapter 10 #CoB snark

[oveliagirlhaditright]

You all know I love love love B*angel... but sometimes I don’t get how people can ship them, but have a problem with L*omax from D*ark Angel.

Like, two reasons I see that people apparently don’t like L*omax for... is they think L*ogan was a jerk in season two, when he was mad for five seconds that he and M*ax didn’t get to have sex. But, guys. That lasted, like, five seconds--and it was also more than just that--and he quickly got over it and was all chivalrous again and stuff. Really, the point of season two L*omax, is them trying to find a way to be together, even if they can never touch again. And realizing that that isn’t really what matters to them. They care more about being with each other. L*ogan even says this to M*ax when she’s breaking up with him because she’s scared. “I’ve been where you are, remember? Thinking it was all too hard. But I realized that being away from you is worse.” Meanwhile, B*uffy and A*ngel can’t have sex--and though there was also more to it than just that--and decide, for the most part, they can never be together again. And A*ngel leaves, and they both try to move on. Also... this whole stupid Virus plot with M*ax and L*ogan was probably an attempt by the network to make them like B*angel, since the Network was always wanting the show to be more like B*uffy for some reason. So it’s kind of funny that some B*angel shippers hate L*omax for these reasons, and ship M*axAlec.

Another complaint I often see, is the age difference. And the age difference between M*ax and L*ogan never bothered me. Because M*ax is actually an adult when she meets L*ogan and falls in love with him and all that jazz. A really young adult, to be honest, nineteen. But still an adult, so it counts. And by the time the show ends, she’s twenty-one, IIRC. And maybe even older than that in the books. And she and L*ogan don’t even have sex until the books, where M*ax is at least twenty-one, and probably even twenty-two at that point. She’d also had sex with other people before. And M*ax and L*ogan felt like equals in every way. Then you have B*angel. And let’s be honest here... A*ngel is an adult when he meets B*uffy and falls in love with her--and her in love with him (and that’s not even counting how he’s even, like, two hundred years old as a vampire)--and B*uffy is still a minor. She’s also still a minor when she gives him her virginity. Though I’m hoping the show at least did its research, and she was at the age of consent for California. And a lot of people argue that, as the S*layer, B*uffy had to grow up a lot faster than most girls... so for this reason, she’s more mature/more adult-like, so she and A*ngel are kind of equals in that way. And I agree with this in some ways... but not in others. Because there’s that whole speech where J*oyce says that even though it’s sometimes hard for her to now believe, B*uffy is still a girl: and like any young girl in love, A*ngel is all she can see of the future. And that there are some choices ahead, and that if she can’t make him he’s going to have to... which is what leads to A*ngel breaking up with B*uffy and leaving town. And tbh, all of this is why I actually moreso ship B*angel when B*uffy is an adult--and a bit more grownup--in some AU where A*ngel comes back and they work it out or something. And why I’m glad the Boom comics made A*ngel and B*uffy closer in age, if it eventually decides to ship them, too. And I hope the B*uffy reboot makes them closer in age, too. But the point is... I kind of don’t get why some people who know both fandoms and ship in both fandoms, are A-okay with B*angel, and yet have some sort of weird issue with L*omax?

There are also those who are in the A*lias fandom, who love S*ydney and V*aughn, but ship M*axAlec in D*ark Angel. And I don’t get that, either, because V*aughnSydney and L*omax are so much alike. So much so, that I sometimes wonder if V*aughnSydney are based on L*omax. And L*omax came first. I also find L*omax better written and more exciting, imo, but perhaps V*aughnSydney is more healthy (one of the healthiest relationships in this era of TV, tbh), as they didn’t get a million things thrown in their way, like L*omax and every other TV show couple around this era did.

...Sorry. And I hope I didn’t offend anyone. That really wasn’t my intention. If you know my blog, you know I love B*angel and V*aughnSydney. I just needed to vent, a little, about my favorite TV show couple not getting the love they deserve anymore, and how it doesn’t make sense to me. When with people’s other shipping patterns, it seems they should love them? Tbh, I blame J*ensen Ackles being so hot. And everyone wanting to ship M*axAlec partly for that reason. But M*ichael Weatherly was/is hot, too! Even if he’s apparently a jerk in real life... But I don’t let actors ruin my feelings for characters, but that’s just me.

[emberfaye]

Regarding Mircea

There’s a lot of talk about him lately. I’m posting under a read more simply because this discussion will be jumping back and forth between books, including Ride the Storm.

So first off. Cassie is very much an untrustworthy narrator, we are in her head and see and hear things the way she perceives them. 

Growing up, she made herself as invisible as possible. Most vamps ignored her, or found amusement in her fears and “meekness”. Eugenie and Rafe were the two who stood out as being kindest and most important to her. She also spent plenty of time with Alphonse, but probably not alone and while he may have been kindly towards her, she feared him in a way she didn’t fear the other two.

Eugenie was older and very crotchety while Rafe was like a father, Cassie says. And these were the ones she spent her time around.

Until Mircea came to court at age, what, 11? And he was kind, but she didn’t have paternal feelings towards him. It has been established in the Dory books (When he meets Aiden and stinky), that Mircea is good with kids, and they adore him and he adores them right back. So the fact that he spent time with her isn’t unusual. Even if he added a bit more of his charm on than usual (in a non sexual way, simply by giving her more attention and time than most would. I compare it to the way an abused kid might get more consideration from a teacher or family member), this is still not necessarily creepy. He may never have intended for her to get a crush on him, or for that crush to be as strong as it was. I didn’t find anything he did inappropriate from a pragmatic point of view (which is the way the vampires have been framed). Should he have tried to get her out of the abuse of Tony’s court? In a normal every day society yes, but as far as how the book magical societies have been portrayed? He did the best he could.

I do find it slightly creepy that all the vamps, Mircea included, sat around discussing who Cassie might most be interested in despite knowing her as an adult for exactly 0 seconds. However, as I have stated before, I view TtD as more of a pilot episode that doesn’t have all characterization and relationships down yet, more the idea of what they will be, and exaggerated to ensure that the series is picked up for the promise portrayed.

That said, even at this point Mircea is viewed through the eyes of Cassie, who had a childhood crush on him. And therefore she has an almost infallible view of him which leaks through her narration of him. And we didn’t get to see much of Mircea from the interrupted sexy times of TtD until we meet him again in England in the past, and the whole geis issue gets complicated. 

So then her childhood crush is basically turned up to 11, and he is confused and attracted, and we don’t get to see a naturally developing relationship because they flew right by it. And all the conversations and getting to know yous are skipped, which can and has happened in both real life and fictional portrayals of relationships, but which has to be addressed.

However, with the war amping up, and both people having lots of issues to deal with, they didn’t get to talk about everything that meant. And honestly, at this point I still didn’t find Mircea creepy or manipulative.

And then came book 3. Where Mircea began to keep Cassie away from the circle, where he dragged her to nowhere and left her handcuffed on a plane, where he treated her like a queen in front of his family members and yet still didn’t tell her basic things, and actively tried to shush her instead of empowering her in her new position.

And honestly, at this point I began to wonder, because Mircea was literally being called manipulative and sexy by Cassie, who was also wondering why he was with her when she had nothing to offer. Karen Chance wasn’t delving into his feelings, other than to have him sometimes lose control around Cassie, to tap into something primitive and wild and fierce during some emotional paragraphs. 

And then came Hunt the Moon, which was the first book I could see myself understanding the appeal of the ship, and the closest Mircea got to being the character we see in the Dory novels. He listens to Cassie, and gives her the help she asks for instead of thinking for her, he is fun and sassy and there for her.

Until he’s not. Until he assisted the Senate and the Circle to not allow Cassie to her own inauguration, not only diminishing all of the things he has told her regarding strength and listening to her, but also actively putting her in danger by providing her with no safe place to go. He shut her down in a (to me) cruel way. 

And then they avoid each other, except for a few sexy times and a fight about the action to take for the war. Granted, I mostly agree with Cassie during the fight, Mircea was not thinking clearly and about long term consequences and was pressuring her into saying yes to him, but Cassie also made an ultimatum at the wrong time and Mircea leaped into it, and it got worse. But that’s what happens when people are emotional when fighting...it escalates.

And then in Ride the Storm, we have a moment in the beginning where Mircea saves her, and then later it seems like they are addressing their issues and going to come to a good place, but he gets called away. Then Dory attacks, and Mircea restrains her. You can see that Mircea yells out for the Consul to not title Dory, and you can argue his intentions til the cows come home, but the fact of the matter is, if there has been time for Cassie to notice that Mircea has a foot fetish, then there has been time for Mircea to clear up his family matter if he was going to. 

And then the fight, and the flashbacks happened. And honestly? I am so here for this storyline. It’s gonna be painful, it’s gonna be dramatic, and it’s gonna be interesting.

Okay. So. If you’re still with me, I apologize for the length lol. All of that was from the storyline so far. My personal interpretation, is that Mircea does feel something for Cassie. For someone who feels as much as Mircea does, I can’t believe that he is ONLY manipulating her. Do I think it started off benign? Oh hell yes. Do I think that he continued manipulating her occasionally throughout the books? Also hell yes.

I don’t hate Mircea, by the way. I love him in the Dory books, and I hope that the next book brings him more to life and showcases a different side of him. I hope that he and Cassie can get some closure.

That said, I do believe that he has no idea that Cassie feels used and unloved right now from him. Whether it was intentional or not, I feel like Cassie thinks he never loved her, even though earlier in books she had a feeling he did. But between the adrenaline of getting attacked, to the shock at hearing that he had a daughter, and then the fight with him combined with the visions at the same time, how can she not feel used and cheapened? 

I don’t hate Mircea. However, if someone read the books and had experiences with someone like him and grew to hate him, I could understand. I’ll poke fun of any of the characters, tbh, and Mircea is relatively easy because Cassie has described him as perfect, when we know very much he’s not.

Anywho. Thanks for reading. =P

#mircea basarab #chanceverse #long post #rts spoilers

[theragamuffininitiative]

Christian Films and Misc Rambling Thoughts on the Subject that Might or Might Not be Actually Connected

@cogentranting​ At some point, years from now, when all else is turned to dust and the sun has set for the last time, a post for this reply, stating I will reply in a longer fashion later (which would actually be now) shall appear. I will likely delete it out of pure spite. Stupid mobile app uploads.

I haven’t seen God’s Not Dead. Or God’s Not Dead 2. I should. Not because I just want to, or because It Is The Inspired Word Of Our Lord™ (hahahah it’s not guys, ok), but because of my overall interest an involvement in the world of film. I should be informed.

Also, I appreciate the sarcasm. XD I hope that was sarcasm or now I look really stupid but you’re going to get an earful either way, so it works out.

So let’s get to it:

I hate the Christian Film Industry™

Whew. There. I said it. Pray for my salvation.

Why? So, soooo many reasons.

1. The Sacrifice of Art in the Name of ‘Message.’

I, for one, want to know why the Christian church is constantly smashing down on the creative outputs of their members for not being enough about God, or published by Thomas Nelson, or advocated by Willie Roberts. Why. We would rather squelch the heartfelt, beautiful, God-given art produced by our brothers and sisters for not showing a clear Conversion Experience rather than be amazed at the ability God has allowed us to have to make such fantastic, whimsical, thought-provoking, emotionally-resonant things.

This is point number one because it. is. my. biggest. issue.

“Message films are rarely exciting. So by their very nature, most Christian films aren’t going to be very good because they have to fall within certain message-based parameters. And because the Christian audience is so glad to get a “safe, redeeming, faith-based message,” even at the expense of great art, they don’t demand higher artistic standards.” ~ Dallas Jenkins, movie reviewer and director of The Resurrection of Gavin Stone??? (Imma have to check back with you later on this, but the quote still stands on its own.)

“We have the makings of a movement that can change this culture. I honestly believe this. But I also believe the first step toward establishing the groundwork for a vibrant, relevant cultural movement based on scriptural thought is to stop producing “Christian films” or “Christian music” or “Christian art” and simply have Christ-followers who create great Art.” ~ Scott Nehring, in his book You Are What You See: Watching Movies Through a Christian Lens.

“If we are trying to evangelize, the fact that most Christian-themed movies are torn to shreds by non-Christian critics becomes an issue. If, however, we just really want to see our fantasies validated on screen, then we will write-off these poor reviews as “persecution.”” ~ Andrew Barber, in his article “The Problem with Christian Films.”

On a similar note, I want to know what the Mormon church is doing that the Christian church is not. Every time I turn around, I discover that another of my favorite artists, whether it be in film or elsewhere, is a professing Mormon:

musicians Imagine Dragons, the Killers, and Lindsey Stirling

authors Brandon Sanderson, Shannon Hale, Heather Dixon, and Brandon Mull

animator Don Bluth

actress Amy Adams and actor Will Swenson (both formerly)

etc, the list goes on

Hi, my Mormon friends. What is your secret. What ways of encouraging art and artists do you employ that my Baptist upbringing, and the Conservative Christian community in general, is so sorely lacking in?

2. The Christian Culture’s Subsequent Villainization of Hollywood.

This past Christmas, my sister gifted me a book titled Behind the Screen, “Hollywood Insiders on Faith, Film, and Culture.”

I sat down after all the gift-giving was done and read the first three sections before the holiday meal was served. But let me quote from the introduction which had me “Amen!”-ing and punching my fist to the sky every third word:

“We obsess about “the culture” endlessly; we analyze and criticize. But we can’t figure out anything to do but point an accusatory finger at Hollywood... Blaming Hollywood for our cultural woes has become a habit... Casting Hollywood as the enemy has only pushed Hollywood farther away. And the farther Hollywood is from us, the less influence we have on our culture. We’ve left the business of defining human experience via the mass media to people with a secular worldview.... In pushing away secular Hollywood, haven’t we turned our backs on the very people Christ called us to minister to - the searching and the desperate, those without the gospel’s saving grace and truth?”

Btw, if this subject is something you are interested in, I highly recommend this book. Written by creatives and executives in the film world (including one of the writers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the producer of Home Improvement, and even the multi-credited Ralph Winters, among others), it’s a frank, beautiful, and challenging read for artists, Christians, and film buffs.

The point here is that the church culture says if it doesn’t come from Sherwood, or have Kirk Cameron or Ducky Dynasty in it, or have a conversion sequence, it isn’t Christian and therefore Christians should not view or encourage it in any way. This. Is. Crap. Pardon my French.

Beauty can come from imperfection.  Even unregenerate hearts still bear the image of the Divine and are capable of producing so much worthwhile and significant art. Which leads to...

3. Guess What? Secular Film Companies Make Quality Faith Films Too??!

Idk what I should even say here, but I’m just going to go with the one shining example I always think of: Dreamworks’ Prince of Egypt. It is purely a work of art from any standard, and that is the epitome of what Christians should be looking for in their endeavors to create good film. PoE is gorgeously animated, seamlessly directed, well-scripted, morally driven, more Biblically and historically accurate than you would believe (and where it falls down on direct representation, it remains true to theme and character), etc. etc. etc.

I could go on for ages about how much I adore this film. (Joseph, King of Dreams, is also noteworthy, but nearly up to par with the craftsmanship of its predecessor.

I mean

just look at

the art

4. I Do Like Some Films Made By ‘Christian’ Companies

Idk, I might step on people’s toes or surprise you by which of these I actually approve of, but here we go:

I like Fireproof. I have many issues with it, but overall it is a fairly well-made, Hallmark-style emotional flick. The acting leaves much to be desired, but it’s a decent bit of showmanship, story, and truth.

I do not like Facing the Giants. Give me Blind Side any day of the week, except don’t because... sports.

However, both Courageous (some actual real life dialogue and not a completely happily ever after, whaaaat???! Oh, but token conversion experience, of course), and the early-and-forgotten Flywheel (which, although low in camera quality and acting, is actually an enjoyable story), come in as films I would sit down and watch at least a second time.

Risen is well-made and acted and has some establishment of genuine Craft. However, as far as story plots go, a lot was sacrificed. The mountain-top encounter with Christ was, while perhaps the most generally cliche piece of story, to me the most heartfelt and provocative. After that...the film kind of ended in mediocrity. Like...what did the characters do after the credits rolled.

I actually really enjoy Mom’s Night Out. The manic theme almost kills me, but the quiet and the reveal at the end is worth sitting through to see.

And I appreciate Luther. I don’t watch it often, because I personally can’t stomach the more violent aspects (the reason I haven’t/don’t watch The Passion or End of the Spear.) But Luther is a great biographical film, and I would encourage anyone studying Catholic and/or Protestant history, especially Martin Luther, to watch it. This is a Film in both art, message, and class.

Tbh, I’ve been avoiding most of the other Christian films, which is why I won’t talk about them there.

5. You Don’t Have To Slap A Jesus Fish Bumper Sticker On It To Be Christ-Honoring

Walden Media is a prime example, I believe, of what Christians in the film industry should be doing. I mean, they’re not perfect at all, but they are not sacrificing art for message - or vice versa for that matter. While not strictly a Christian Film group, Walden is founded and run by a majority of Christian Conservatives who are actively seeking to make quality and wholesome films for people of all diversities. They’ve had a few flops and several more that just didn’t quite live up to their potential, but they also brought us

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, as well as

Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, and the one I will never stop talking about:

Amazing Grace.

Well-crafted films, put out by *gasp* an assortment of believers and non-believers. Art. Good films. Not Messages dressed up in makeup with a classy Instagram filter and a 30-day challange booklet to get your revival outfit on.

In looking through this stuff, I just found this article, which is a superb read and really gets at the heart of what I feel, and am very badly trying to communicate:

Why Faith-Based Films Hurt Religion

So.

When Christian Films start being an actual representation of creative community and the artistic talents God has given to us as personal and spiritual gifts, rather than a cheap way to try to force morality on Hollywood and on our neighbors without ever leaving the confines of our Bible Boxes in case we might get soiled, I may start appreciating the Christian Film Industry™. Until then??? I’ll stand behind my fellow creatives and my fellow believers and hope and work for the best.

Lastly, two things:

Christians Can Enjoy Secular Film Productions.

I would even argue that they should. We were created by a Creator God, who takes pride and joy in making beautiful things, in making each of us. And we are made in His image. We are creators as well, we make art all the time. Scripture tells us to worship God in everything we do. The movement of making “Christian Films for Christian Audiences because of Christian Reasons” is missing the point entirely. We as creatives are not here to make God Art, we are here to make art that glorifies God

Christ Does Not Need Hollywood. However, Hollywood Does Need Christ.

“While many missionaries travel to remote villages in Africa or South America to spread Christianity, [Karen] Covell believes her calling—her mission field, if you will—is right here in Los Angeles, in an industry that many of her fellow Christians find immoral or even downright sinful, both for its on-screen depictions of sex and drugs and the real-life sex, drugs, and other temptations that exist behind the scenes. Covell, who was a film producer in the early 1980s, says "the church did not get how I could justify being a Christian in Hollywood, and Hollywood did not get how I would follow God. It was a divide." It was nearly impossible to meet other Christians working in the industry, let alone ones who would express their faith openly. "I said, 'The church hates Hollywood, Hollywood hates the church. There's got to be some way to bridge that divide.'" - in an article by Jennifer Swan.

As I said in my original little “about me” tag response, I have felt called to ministry in this world. Whether it be film or live theater, that world is calling to me, both in its creative endeavors, and in its desperate need for the hope, truth, life, and light of Christ. Actors and directors in Hollywood and on Broadway are in as much need of the grace of our Lord as the starving orphans in the unreached people groups on the other side of the planet - same as your next door neighbor.

If Christians continue to tie themselves down, and group themselves together, cutting themselves off from the culture and the culture off from them, then we are doing absolutely no heavenly or earthly good to anyone.

So, you see, it’s not just the artistry (or, so often, lack thereof) in the Christian Film Industry™ that gets to me.

It’s the fact that the film media culture is a people group that the church as a whole is ignoring. We are ignoring the impact Hollywood has on the world around us and still trying to be relevant to that world, which is counter-productive and just plain silly.

It’s the fact that I see actors, actresses, producers, writers, who are obviously searching for the Something that will fill the void in their souls, and their primary exposure to Christianity and Christ - the only One who can satisfy them - is the Christian Film Industry™, which is largely full of broad and meaningless substance because heaven help us we should talk about something real, and then just plain bad art.

I believe God has called us to higher things than this.

Higher art, loving to create as he lovingly created us.

High impact, going deeper into the issues of our culture and our nature to address and satisfy problems and needs felt be every human, not just the church-goers who will show up for Sherwood’s next big thing.

So, yes, my pet peeve cracked from its proverbial nutshell:

I have issues with the Christian Film Industry

#end rant #i used the trademark symbol way too many times #long post #rags has opinions #christian films #movie making #i feel like i did not even touch on so many things #this is such a ramble #ragamusings #for certain

[zoesrhees]

somehow i ended up w six characters again :// i’d love some more plots so under the read more you can learn about zoe, true, ruby, bruno, marisol & rocio come plot w me!! i’m gonna try & work on replies before passing out so if u like this post i will come to u tomorrow!

zoe [arden cho fc] 20, kappa gamma vp, cheerleader, virgo, poli-sci & pre-law major;

flighty and forgetful af sticks her foot in her mouth bunches

ally mcbeal & elle woods are her heroes wants to be just like them; at the very least somewhat like them

is a little ridiculous and over the top sometimes, stupidly dramatic in the most nonsensical of ways, will probably drag herself on the floor and weep if she hasn’t eaten in three hours just a huge idiot that makes a fuss out of the littlest of things

grew up in san antonio, tx and her and her fam moved to pennsylvannia right before she started high school

zoe’s dad is in sports medicine he used to be a trainer for the san antonio spurs & now works for the 76ers so she’s huge into sports especially basketball

she wears short skirts she’s cheer captain & she’s also on the bleachers!!!

no really she really likes short skirts???

very very self conscious and has a lot of self doubt doesn’t think she can be successful worries and stresses over everything wants to make her parents proud

lowkey a hoe but like in the sense that she’s a HUGE hopeless romantic and just hopes that one day she’ll have her hollywood style romance

can be selfish, stubborn and extremely shallow at times

the sort of person that will get roasted and then think of a comeback hours later

will literally RUN AWAY in an uncomfortable situation like g2g :///

just a big giant walking awkward meme honestly

true [ ricky whittle fc] 25, epsilon kappa tau, pres, taurus, pre-med major;

took some time off after high school before coming to college to travel and explore

lived most of the time with his aunt in paris and worked in a little deli could have probably lived and gone to school there

met the love of his life there, had all sorts of adventures and this was probably the most lighthearted and content and blissful he was

stayed in paris and got into a pretty bad accident that really destroyed his left leg, walks with a cane now, hooked on pain pills, some of it is psychosomatic

grumpy old man 999% of the time though he’s gotten a lot better he still makes a lot of deprecating jokes about being a cripple etc etc etc

v fashioned after dr. house tbh

completely out of touch with technology had a flip phone until about six months ago and now all he knows how to do is swipe to unlock

has probably asked siri a bunch of stupid questions

family man through and through though there are some very big shoes to fill in his fam

doesn’t get a lot of the things “the kids” are into honestly

ruby [marie avgeropoulos fc] 20, kappa gamma kappa, gymnastics co-cap, cancer, marine biology major

the definition of that old expression sweet summer child

gentle, sweet, honest, caring, humble

super into gymnastics, could hve made the australian olympic team at some point

super worrisome, self-blaming, self-deprecating, would literally give anyone the shirt off her back, too trusting for her own good

hasn’t had the best experiences though she tries to push that away barely talks about it with anyone but her older brother because he’s seen some horrors himself

loves to snorkel and dive would one hundred percent live off the grid if she could

huGe science dork but admittedly not the best student in the world

obsesses over everything that could go wrong, cries a lot, has a vehement need to be liked and validated

loves openly and fiercely and perhaps a little too easily

kindest little soul v pure

marisol [cierra ramirez fc] 20, omega alpha chi, scorpio, photojournalism major, newspaper & some other stuff i put her in

miami raised, marisol is LOUD as hell, loves good music, good food and having a good time

mexican & columbian aka mexilumbian aka the best of both worlds v v proud of her heritage

EXTRA ™

semi internet famous she has a good following on instagram and twitter and is honestly known for her posts feat other people where she boasts and heart eyes over them

a huge believer in boosting other people’s confidence will go out of her way to compliment another girl just because even if its something as small as i like your top

bi visibility advocate 

she is maya’s half sister maya was adopted out and marisol literally STALKED her on facebook until she found out what university she was going to and lo and behold here she is!!!

she just doesn’t know how to TELL maya she’s her sister so she’s gonna pretend to admire her from a far

bruno [jarod joseph fc] 21, psi delta, pisces, graphic design major

raised between aus & ny he was born in sydney and was taken in by the fairchild fam after his parents died because they were close friends

looks like he could kill you and is actually a cinnamon roll. meme

really really sensitive, wears his heart on his sleeve an open book

always smiling

very passionate about mashed potatoes!!!

friend to all, bruno is super chill and really nice, really supportive, honestly all he wants to do is get high and eat food 

likes graffiti pretty good at it

idenitifies a lot with troy barnes from community

probably has the most adorable and dorkiest laugh ever

video game NERD

family is REALLY important to him and he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place over the forgiveness of his oldest adoptive brother for leaving

bby  has abandoment issues

misses his parents

rocio [diane guerrero] 21, tau alpha zeta, fine arts major, a bunch of clubs and shit i haven’t decided

her parents were basically travelling hippies who worked with a circus and literally went all over the world

she’s lived in all sorts of places most notably, puerto rico, australia and berlin

was going to be a tight rope walker but she changed her mind

changes her mind A LOt very very fleeting and ephemeral interests

but she’s developed a ton of hobbies and talents because of it

good singer, good tap dancer, can juggle, make ballon animals just a general jack of all trades

very chill, very laid back, really silly 

sells homemade jewelry for extra money

and flower crowns

don’t forget about the flower crowns

never sleeps, currently denying rumors that she’s a vampire

she’s a pacifist, doesn’t fight, doesn’t argue, doesn’t get involved in business that isn’t hers 

jokes about being born out of time a lot and thinks she’s should have lived during the summer of love

her name means dewdrops

#nyuooc #nyuplots

[gayregis]

I've listened to the part where Geralt talks with a very ill Cahir about Ciri and vengeance... it was one of the most emotional parts of the book by itself but also thanks to your take about the lost innocence of Ciri ! I felt it thrice hard in the feelings! Also, do you have thoughts on the declared love of Cahir for Ciri? Personally I see it as disturbingly romantic, let's say. Thank you for your commitment to the books and sorry to bother you

omg thank you for the ask. first of all i have to say you’re not bothering me!! tbh i have been loving getting asks because it gives me an opportunity to like bring more discussion to the witcher community... 

i feel like although reblogging pretty gifs of characters/landscapes from tw3 and any good fanart i can find is nice, my FAVORITE thing to do is write or read a really long textpost about the witcher books, i really like the discussion aspect of fandoms where people post their reactions and opinions to the content they like, because you get a bunch of shared reactions and differing opinions.

so no this is NOT a bother at all, and its nice especially to get asks about topics that i have strong feelings about but have not made posts about yet, like this one

ok, as for the actual topic: i hate forced heterosexuality, so you KNOW i hate that canon cahiri! it was out of line from sapkowski and imo, it came out of absolutely nowhere in tower of the swallow, it wasn’t something built up to or foreshadowed at all, so it felt not only weird in context but weird for sapkowski as an author.

my main problem with canon cahiri: i think it’s super creepy!

first of all, let’s discuss the age difference. cahir in baptism of fire is estimated to be “not over 25,” which i see as putting him around 20 to 25 years old, and i usually take the median of this which is around 23. while this “not over 25″ comment is said in the context of the hansa to remark upon how young cahir is (i believe it’s thought of by either geralt or dandelion, and geralt is around 60 years old and as a witcher he looks 45, and dandelion is 38 in tower of the swallow), and how cahir is described as a young man in time of contempt to illustrate that he has a sense of innocence to him as ciri cuts him down, his age gap with ciri is super innappropriate for anything to occur between them, since she is 10 or 11 during the massacre of cintra (as stated by geralt in something more), so she would be around 14 at thanedd, and 15-16 during baptism of fire to lady of the lake. so sapkowski deemed it fit to pair a 23 year old man with a 16 year old girl. this isn’t the first time he’s done something like this, what with essi being “not over 18″ and shani also bein around 18 / college age, and yennefer canonically looking around 20. listen, the man has some messed up values when it comes to women’s ages. we have to take it upon ourselves as people who like the not-weird parts of canon to understand how worldviews and personal biases affect one’s writing, and change it for ourselves to make it right so we can continue interacting with it, if we so choose (tldr: retcon some shit when it’s fucked up in canon).

now, before someone argues that “it’s fantasy medieval world, medieval relationships between men and women were just like that,” believe me, i am aware. i study ancient greece/rome and men who were in their 30s were most often paired with women in their teens as part of their arranged marriages. that is how their ancient societies functioned more than 2000 years ago. the issue is that this is a fantasy world, in which societal norms and laws do not have to conform to real-life earth history, and this is the work of a modern writer writing in the 1990s. it’s not “just how the times were,” it’s deliberately choosing to include an age gap like that to be something canonically acceptable by their society/ies.

also, one could argue that the age gap would be fine once they are older, like, when ciri becomes an adult she is already medievally-style betrothed to cahir so they start dating when she’s like 20 and he’s like 27. eh... that’s still an uncomfortable age gap, at least for when they’re in their 20s. people in their older 20s have more life experience than people in their younger 20s. but at least it wouldn’t land cahir in modern-day jail.

it’s still just an uncomfortably large age gap, and if you think about it, it’s even creepier considering that cahir met ciri when she was a helpless child around 10 - 11 and it just makes the bathing scene excruciatingly creepy too if you put it in the context that he eventually would fall in love with her. it even begins to not be about strictly age, but about life experience, development, and power imbalance within the relationship. i mean, he did literally kidnap her.

cahir in tos calls ciri a “woman” when she is like, 15 or 16 (with the rose tattoo) (to anyone reading, please don’t come at me with that “the age of consent is 15 in poland, just because it’s 18 in the US doesn’t mean your laws and culture apply to everyone” ... please do not try and justify this with laws, legality is not morality. only saying this because i’ve seen it in other posts). like.... hm! don’t like that! she is a teenager... he is in his 20s... this should not be occuring.

sorry for the loooong explanation, but every time someone brings up the subject of age gaps on tumblr it turns into crazy discourse with everyone trying to justify it.

but yeah, CANONICALLY cahir would have been 16-21 (median 18) when he met ciri at 10-11, and 20-25 (median 23) when he declares his love for her at 15-16. that’s ... not good ... to put it more into perspective, these are their ages on a traditional school system path: a 18 year old is a high school senior, an 11 year old is a 6th grader. a 23 year old has been out of college for 2 years, a 16 year old is a high school sophomore. ITS NOT GOOD

my other problem with canon cahiri: it’s boring and contradicts sapkowski at his own game.

all of the witcher is about taking fantasy tropes and inverting them, like you can’t have some random peasant kill a dragon, you’d need a professional, and also guess what, the dragon isn’t evil but a dad trying to protect his wife and child.

all of the characters in the hansa (as well as the four main characters of geralt, yennefer, ciri, and dandelion) are inversions of the tropes they represent. for some examples, milva’s trope is something like the hot action girl who only exists to be the only girl in the company and to be sexy eye candy. instead of falling into this, she is actually an action girl, not bothering with sexiness and appeal to the gaze of a male audience but a “get shit done” type, who also dresses and acts “like a man.” regis’ trope is all vampire tropes ever. he/vampires in the witcher doesn’t/don’t fall into any of the traditional european vampire myths like burning in sunlight, needing to drink blood to stay alive, being disdainful of humanity, having aversions to garlic, belonging to a super-secret orderful society that lurks in the shadows and controls everything like puppetmasters, etc... instead, he is the epitome of redemption arcs and overall “goody-goodiness,” understands humanity perfectly and does things out of his good nature. i already talk about regis too much, so i’ll quit it. 

cahir is an inversion of every knight trope ever, particularly the evil knight. he scars ciri’s memory as a night terror, but actually is not ... a bad person. he’s just some guy, pressured by his family and his society to do what he saw as an assignment like a college kid might see their final essay assignment posted on canvas. except you know. the final exam was to kidnap a girl. and he got an F on that and failed the course (ie got thrown in prison). ANYWAYS, cahir is meant to be this inversion of the knight tropes, so WHY, WHY, WHY make him become the knight trope of being the one to romance and to save a hapless princess? if we’ve learned anything about ciri, it’s that she’s the inversion of the princess trope! she KILLS PEOPLE. she ALMOST KILLED CAHIR. she can defend herself and kill for herself, she doesn’t need the knight trope going to protect her! 

heterosexual romance as the Big Reason and Motivation behind all of a character’s actions is tiring, annoying, boring, and not well-thought out. it’s so base and not unique, it doesn’t fit in with everything else about the witcher.

how i would fix it: not make them fall in love.

cahir already HAS a motivation to find ciri and to help her. he needs to APOLOGIZE. he needs to say, hey, i’m sorry i kidnapped you and ruined your life, i made peace with your dad, he doesn’t wanna kill me anymore, i can only hope that you can forgive me too after i SET THINGS RIGHT. 

as opposed to regis’s arc (i swear i am not playing favorites with regis, i just tend to compare and contrast regis and cahir’s redemptions because they are quite different yet they join the hansa side by side so they’re bound to be compared), cahir actually can find the one (not many) people he wronged, and set things right on his own accord, not go forth with a larger mission to assist all humanity, or whatever.

i think cahir also had this WONDERFULLY UNDERUTILIZED anti-imperialist message as part of his character that pains me to see being swept under the rug for some cheap lame romance story. sapkowski already created some anti-war sentiments with the battle of the bridge in baptism of fire, and he tried to create anti-racism sentiments throughout the book/at the end of lady of the lake. anti-imperialism fits with the rest of the saga as a message.

the fact that cahir was instructed by his family to hate the northern kingdoms, despite the fact that they were related to northerners, is really profound as something to happen to a character, and holds a lot of meaning in today’s society. the fact that he broke, finally, after he lost ciri, just completely lost his mind and had to be restrained because he was wailing so hard, because of the pressure that this society put him under to succeed and achieve pride for his family, is such a great example of the tragedies of society. then he speaks out against his leader and is jailed... and yet, after this, he gets to learn from his mistakes and redeem himself as a good person, and his character has developed SO much. he is not doing what his country wants him to do, he is not doing what his family wants him to do. he is doing what he wants to do because it is the RIGHT thing to do. that already is such a powerful message, he doesn’t need anymore character motivation!

so yep that’s my thoughts on why cahir is a good character asides from all that forced romance biz

#ask #cahir #ciri #master-dellamorte

[petestarebanks]

this turned into a lot of talking i’m drunk sorry

since i love talking about myself and i’m working on finishing all the random cider/alcoholic drinks in my fridge i appeciate @chitown-sounder for tagging me in this

1) How tall are you? I’m 5′7″ and I don’t have anything else to say about that. 

2) What Color And Style Is Your Hair? My hair is medium brown which is v boring I want to dye it like daaaaaaark brown in an attempt to match my fingernails and my wardrobe which are both slowly entering the shadow realm until I can finally take my rightful place as an all powerful witch of darkness where I belong. Lately I’ve been working on growing my hair back out, right now it’s just below the middle of my back bc a year and a half ago I decided I wanted to go back to the bob I had in senior year of high school. Generally speaking my hair is an awful mess.

3) What Color Are Your Eyes? Depending on the day/weather/my mood/the color of my shirt it varies between blues and greens and greys. I wish I was constantly crying so they could be green always. 

4) Do You Wear Glasses? Yeah and tbh people always ask me why I don’t wear contacts and like why the fuck would I? When I got glasses in the 10th grade (After 3 years of staring at a computer screen bc I got obsessed with writing and never wanted to leave the house I developed near-sightedness like a fuckin dope) I was hype af they somehow made my face look less round imo like honestly my glasses make me look older and less pudgy and I fuck with that shit. I, like my dawg Cody, also am getting new glasses in like a week or so (They’ll be in on the 11th and I’m reeeeady) and I got 2 pairs, one of which is the same rectangle shape I’ve always had and the other one is more fahionable and maybe I’ll like them??? I better bc they were expensive but they were literally buy one get one free so....... Idk they’re more round shaped I can’t wait to put new accessories on my face

5) Do You Have Braces? I never did and it’s funny I always had a fucked up dental situation ok my front 4 teeth on the top were shaped like |_|_/\_||_| it wasn’t a gap or anything my teeth were just angled like that??? Apparently there was a bone in my gum where it shouldn’t have been and it was keeping my teeth from growing right and so when I was like 8 they did a removal of all 4 teeth like - ya girl was in the third grade missing my 4 front teeth??????????? Embarrassing anyway they took out the teeth and when I went back a few months later to get the bone out there was literally no bone there? There was no explanation for it it just wasn’t there and my teeth grew back in perfect. My teeth aren’t perfect by any means like I have a severe overbite and my lower row has a small gap in the front and also I had a fuckin tooth that grew in the middle of the roof of my fucking mouth????????????????????????? Teeth are so weird anyway that tooth got taken out and I’m just here living with a semi-ok mouf now

6) What Is Your Fashion Sense? Whatever I feel like wearing when I get out of bed 15 mins before I’m supposed to be at work lmao whatever takes the least effort and still looks put together enough. There’s a lot of black and particularly black leggings bc they almost pass for dress pants which works for my job. Also a lot of camisoles paired with shawl/overshirt things idk what they’re called. And jean shorts whenever I’m not at work.

7) Do You Have Any Siblings? I have 4 step sibs and 3 sisters - my sister Candace is 28 and got married last year, we always argue about politics (we are on the same side but she is a realist and I’m a romantic) but we love each other even though she makes me cry from emotions and frustration. My step brother John is 27 and he’s always been a fuckin dickhead even when we were kids and they were just my neighbors and not my step sibs - yes my father is dating a woman who used to live across the street from us in the neighborhood I grew up in - He is v strong and has strong opinions, has a lot of tattoos and is a misogynist. My sister Jackie is 26 and is a human fucking landfill who I haven’t spoken directly to in 4 months bc she got mad at me when I showed concern about her boyfriend being abusive, then he did beat her ass and when I tried to talk to her about it she fuckin blocked me on Facebook. Oh yeah and she’s pregnant with his kid and won’t stop smoking cigars. Fucking landfill. My step sis Amanda is 23, always a good time even if she’s a super thot, she has 2 babies who I love more than anything and she lets men make a fool out of her more often than not. I love her. My step brother Chris is my fave step sib mainly bc he went from being an actual juvenile delinquent, arrested and then on parole at age 15 even, to being the first of his family to graduate high school on the same day as me, with a steady job and a wife and a baby and paying his own bills I’M SO PROUD OF HIM. My step sister Tory is 19 and she doesn’t have a real name she’s just Tory, is a bigger fuckin thot than Amanda literally this bitch is in the DM’s of every dude I know and I’m not shaming her like boo do whatever u wanna do but be better at it? Be a boss ass bitch and don’t let ppl make fun of u for being a human disaster?  My younger half-sister Dalaney (Literally, named after Dale Earnhardt thanks to my trash father lmao) is 11 and she lives with her mother in Minnesota. She comes to see us every summer and she is so fucking funny, she is a tomboy and she is a sassmaster just like the rest of us I love her sfm. 

8) What Kind Of Student Are You? I was an honors sudent, took AP classes and barely skirted by (But passed the final exams while my geek fuckin classmates sobbed bc they failed lmao) I graduated with a 4.89 so like, I was litty. I never studied bc why would i read the same thing twice? I also missed a day a week from 6th grade to graduation, bc I was “sick” but really I didn’t feel like going. My mom thought I was lactose intolerant bc I faked sick so much. One time Amanda and I let my mom drive us to school only to walk home (3 miles) and get stopped by a police officer 20 feet from my front door, he wanted to know why we weren’t at school and we lied and said we missed the bus but our moms were fine with us not going to school that day. That fuckin cop offered us a ride to school so we had no choice but to go to school after all that!!!! Then in senior year when my mom left me to live with Jackie I was literally missing 2-3 weeks at a time until the AP was like “If u miss 40 days of school this semester you will be considered a drop out” and I was like “Fuck” so I finished and graduated and never went to college because fuck the education system tbq fuckin h. 

9) What Are Your Favorite Subjects? Math, History, English, Human Geography. I loved learning, that was why I never wanted to be at school, everything was fucking boring but when I had the right teachers, in these subjects in particular, I actually wanted to be there. 

10) What Are Your Favorite TV Shows? I never watched TV until like the last year, I finally got a Netflix subscription and caught up on shit people have been raving about for years but I was completely late on - Shameless, Orange Is The New Black, American Horror Story, Bates Motel, How To Get Away With Murder, in particular. Otherwise I just watch sports. Literally the only reason I pay for cable is so I can watch sports. 

11) Favorite Books? BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH Scott WESTERFELD ANRD NEAL SHUSTERMAN. LIKE OK I’LL BE A HARRY POTTER STAN ALL MY LIFE. BUT. SCOTT WESTERFELD WROTE AN INGENIOUS SERIES ABOUT SOCIETAL STANDARDS OF BEAUTY (uglies/pretties/specials/extras) AND ALSO HIS VAMPIRE SERIES WHERE VAMPIRISM WAS TRANSMitted through sex and cats (peeps, the last days) WERE THE ONLY VAMPIRE BOOKS I EVER READ LMAOOOO. then, fucking neal. fucking neal shusterman changed my entire life for the better with a series about a future where the pro-life/prochoice battle turned into parents literally having the option of just, not dealing with their unruly teens anymore by having their body parts fucking dispersed to ppl who needed like new hearts, arms, etc (unwind/unwholly/unsouled/undivided) FUCKING ICONIC and also THE SERIES NEAL WROTE ABOUT KIDS WHO DIED AND WERE STUCK IN LIMBO BC THIS EVIL BITCH WOULDN’T LET THEM GO TO HEAVEN (everlost/everwild/everfound) GOD I LOVE BOOKS SO FUCKING MUCH OK. ALSO FOR MY NON-RELIGIOUS ASS EAST OF EDEN BY JOHN STEINBECK IS FUCKIN EVERYTHING. LIFE OF PI ALSO FUCK AND TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD BOOKS ARE GREAT.

12) Favorite Pastimes? If I’m not Netflix binging or watching sports or going to the movies with my friends or drinking with the one friend I have who I can drink with, I’m writing. I have literally 25 characters now I’m fucking trash but I love them all so much ok leave me alone. 

13) Any Regrets? Nah I think I’m the smartest most reasonable person on the planet so I think everything I do is right and not questionable at all lmao. 

14) What Is Your Dream Job? Huh. Hard to say. I’m doing something I love now, and my boss has been in the business for 20 years and his business pulls in 5 mil a year so like.......... I could stand to keep doing this for a long time. Honestly I’ve never had a direction in life so now that I found an occupation that I love I think this might be my dream job. 

15) Do You Want To Get Married? No lmao marriage is a patriarchal social construct and what’s the point? To legally be able to call someone mine? I don’t like people enough to want to spend my entire life with one. 

16) Do You Want To Have Kids? I never in my life want to give birth to a child. That shit is not for me. I have 5 nieces and nephews, a pregnant sister, and another sister who plans on having at least 2 someday. I don’t need no babies. I’ll be the cool vodka aunt who encourages my trash siblings’ kids to follow their hearts and encourages them to be gay if they’re feeling gay. I have always liked the idea of waiting until I’m like 40-45 and rich, and adopting a 10-12 y/o kid bc those kids never get adopted and I’ll just be the best parent to them. 

17) How Many Countries Have You Visited? I’ve never left the United States lmao. Fuck me right???????????????/

I have finished 3 bottles of beer/beer-like substance while writing this and the Rangers just fuckin lost go figure. I want @gingeronastick and @chrisarchers to do this and also whoever else feels like it ok ily babes

#personal