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oops-its-a-fanwork · 5 months

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Bountyhunter/Thief reader x the Pirates ☆

Based on the pirate au by @mega-punani, check out her stuff if you enjoy this! They are currently not creating content for it but what is there is really lovely :3

Reader is trying to catch the crew for their bounty! Or at the very least, get some of their fabled treasures for themselves. Your specialities are thievery and catching people or crews alive, which usually yields more bounty anyway. Not to mention that if you can get people to talk, they may reveal more valuable information, items or treasures. Your skills are becoming pretty well known around te area, and that reputation will grow even bigger when you finally catch one of the big dogs~

Yeah thats right, the Skull Pirates' ship just docked nearby! A perfect opportunity. You realize it would be easier to pick them off one by one (fighting the entire crew is obviously a Bad Time) but oops the first one you picked is like kinda cute actually?? Wait scratch that you're here for the money! ...even if they have some redeeming qualities that make them not that bad and- hey wait when did you end up on their team?

Sans It takes him such a long time to wake up from the knock-out that you are frustrated before he even starts talking. After that it really doesn't help that he starts talking to you as if you were buddies chatting during break instead of, I don't know, a hostage situation?? You press a knife to his neck to shut him up but he just keeps talking, telling you he thinks you'll like some of the edgier types on his crew and making puns about sharp edges and this not being very knife of you, chill as ever. When a loud bang rings through the air and your hideout shakes, he breaks the news: his team is getting him back right now and he has decided you are joining the crew. He thinks you're cute and you've got skills if you can manage to knock out and kidnap someone like him. You know you don't stand a chance against his entire crew so begrudgingly you join, letting your displeasure be known every single step of the way. Even if they start to grow on you rather quickly. The crew is confused and amused about your arrival but they at least tolerate you due to you being introduced by Sans.

Papyrus You tried to lure him into following you with flattery, talking about his interests and even sharing gossip from the village. Asking him to assist you with something was far too easy and he seemed happy to help, stating that he would let his brother know where he was going just in case! He's been told there's some sketchy folk around ;) Before you can stop him he's marched off. You mentally debate on simply leaving now before deciding against it. When he returns he lets you know that his brother is excited to meet you! You are pretty much carried aboard by the pirate before you can even object, where a few curious crewmembers give you a quick nod before continuing their tasks. Shit, now half of the ship knows your face, your surprise attack is ruined! When Papyrus sees you pout he immediately makes it his mission to cheer you up again: he showers you in compliments, shows you every nook and cranny of the ship since you seem so interested in it and he encourages you to talk about your home some more. In the chaos of Papyrus's boundless energy he manages to introduce you to Sans and ask if you can join the crew ('Wait wha-'). Sans agrees easily ('No seriously wait-'), recognizing you from a wanted poster and knowing that keeping an eye on you is far easier like this. Not to mention that he can clearly see that his brother really likes you and that he is already winning you over bit by bit. Welcome to the crew kiddo.

Blue He's clearly trying to impress you. You can use that. He's another one you tried to lure with talking, but he was too stubborn to lure with flattery alone so you used the next best thing: a bet. Feigning innocence as a random townsperson simply curious about the new faces resembling the famous Skull crew, you challenged his abilities. Surely they can't be all people crack them up to be? If you lost, you would tell them more about that lost treasure your town has rumors about, and you would accept that he is simply amazing. If you won, he would help you carry those heavy groceries of yours to your home to make up for the lost time. You knew he was strong so you expected to lose. You were hoping to be introduced as an innocent citizen so the crew won't be suspicious if you show up again to snoop around. Maybe the cutie fool can even vouch for you! Worst case scenario you can get him alone in your hideout and knock him out, then get the information you need by force. Either way, you were getting a good deal out of this. Aaaah bummer, you lost~ Guess you'll give his crew any intel you have! Feeling accomplished, you let him lead you to the ship... where he promptly introduced you to the others as the famous bounty hunter they had been hearing so much about. He knew all along???

Stretch He woke up to the sound of someone softly playing some notes on his banjo, his hands and feet tied. He was too tired and hazy to think too much, but looking a little to his right, he saw you softly inspecting his beloved instrument: gentle touches over the wood, fingers following the pretty carvings along the handle. Soft notes filled the room when you'd pluck the strings gently, listening to the notes intently as you waited for him to wake up. You could've been a siren with how entranced he was... until you snapped him out of it by looking up to him with a mischievous, self assured smile, putting the banjo aside and moving far too close to him. Oh boy. When he was inevitably rescued by his brother, you escaped quickly through a window with a smile and a wink his way, intensifying his orange blush as he looked away. You still follow them around, looking to get some riches here or there. Whenever you encounter each other he can never look you in the eye, a rush of magic spreading across his face, which only makes the chase more fun for you. Eventually the crew outvotes him on trying to get you on board, and he really doesn't make too much of a fuss about it. At this point everyone just wants to see how this turns out between you two. (including him.)

Red Just because you flirted with him when trying to get him alone, doesn't mean he gets to keep flirting when he wakes up!! Every part of you gets complimented, every conversation topic gets turned into a pickup line, and every time you threaten him he tells you he's into that shit. You didn't even know skeletons had... eyebrows?? brow-bones?? but he keeps waggling them at you every time you try to get to the point. It's absolutely infuriating! Annoying! Revolting even! (so stop blushing!!) You are this close to hitting him in the face but he'll probably make a flirt out of that too. When his brother shows up to rescue collect him, you pretty much just shove Red at him and tell them both to get lost. Now every time you encounter each other he drops everything to flirt with you and to convince you to join them, even mid-fight. The crew knows about the whole thing too so you don't have the element of surprise anymore. God damn it.

Edge BITES YOU BITES YOU BITES YOU BITES YOU BITES YOU- No but seriously he is pissed. You had jumped him from up high before he could set any traps to protect the ship's anchoring point! He would be even more pissed to be rescued by his crewmates, hoping to bust out by himself at least, or preferably even return without anyone knowing what had happened at all. Instead, you riled him up into talking, stole his keys and fled the little hideout to steal some of their treasure. Since most of the crew was looking for him on the shore you actually managed to steal some gems, but you were eventually cornered a few days later. He actually kinda respects your skills, he's just very butthurt to have been your first victim as the crew teases him for it a lot. In an act of reconciliation you prank the others and capture/'torture' them if any of them do something stupid or rude, showing everyone it's your skills that did him in and that he was no fool for falling prey to them. Although he nags about it to both them and you, he very quickly realizes that you are helping him keep the crew in check when they do dumb shit and you both reconnect from there. Now you're a terrifying couple to do stupid things around and you have quite the reputation. You both enjoy that a lot.

Razz You are confusing him with the way you act. You flatter him by calling him the most dangerous one there, saying how much research you had to do due to his reputation, telling him just how difficult it was to get some seastone to keep his powers in check... and you've stolen one of his maps too!! He is livid, seething, but keeps getting caught off guard by the flirtatious ways you address him. By the end of the day he's exhausted by the constant emotional whiplash you've been creating. When the crew comes for him you've already fled, leaving him tied to his chair. (insulting!!!) You sold his map for good money, which is how they tracked you down as he immediately recognises his own detailed work. You besting a guy like him made a good part of the crew curious about you though so now you are cautiously accepted in the group. Razz always brags about the quality of his maps to you and you tease him by telling him you'll steal them and sell them for a lot. Somehow, this has become the way you communicate. The higher a prize you name for a map, the higher its quality (and the more he blushes). When you're mad at him you tell him they won't sell cuz they look shitty. It's raining those days.

Cash He looked so tired and lanky that you hadn't realized he was part of the famed skeleton crew until you almost walked past him. It seems you surprised both yourself and him when you swiftly turned around and knocked him on the head, dragging him to your nearby hideout. Good thing you were always prepared for anything! And that no-one was watching. Now that he's awake, he's... far to meek. Almost a little smug, actually. You are suspicious of him, but he can't really do anything shackled up like this. Cash found himself in a really fun situation upon waking up: a good looking person standing over him, clearly ready to write things down in a little notebook and threatening him with the cutest little pocket knife he has ever seen. You remind him of his brother just a little bit... Welp, that does it. He's going to bully you into joining, this is too funny to pass up! Good thing he had impulsively stolen the keys from you before getting knocked out. Cash took you by surprise and carried you onto the ship, introducing you to everybody. He will never stop being a smug idiot about that story either.

Bear He's just sitting there, red eye on you and face blue. Maybe you shouldn't have come so close to threaten him, because as soon as you entered his personal space he completely spaced out. Fuck, did you get the mute one? How can you get information out of him like this! He's not holding anything of value either... maybe you can hand him in alone? It would ruin your beautiful complete-crew-cleanup-plan though... While you are contemplating just what to do with this guy, Bear is contemplating a few things himself: you're clearly not the most buff person, having relied on a sneak attack and the binds to keep him at bay. You were working on your own, which in a place like this likely meant you didn't have any close friends or family or you would've been in their gang instead. You also clearly didn't give a shit about his size, intimidating looks or injury, and while those thoughts made his face warm, it also meant you clearly had no sense of self preservation. Guess he has to take things into his own hands. He takes you by surprise by breaking the chair he was seated on, thus giving him enough space to remove his binds, and simply picking you up and taking you with him. He and the crew will take care of you from now on.

Cinnamon Ok you feel bad. He pretty much stumbled into your arms, apologizing profusely, called you pretty while looking up at you from within your arms and then apologized for the out of the blue statement in a whirlwind of stutters and sorrys. When after a second you recognised him from the wanted posters you knocked him over the head and he was out. You weren't even really hunting for the crew that day to be honest, just taking a stroll through the town for groceries. Now he's awake and stuttering so much you're not getting anything interesting out of him. You got close to his face to interrogate him properly and he almost passed out again. You end up dumping an awake him unceremoniously into his brother's lap, and now they know about you and are hunting you to be on their team instead. Sigh.

#sans x reader #papyrus x reader #pirate au #papyrus au #sans au #homemade fanworks #undertale au #Bear voice: so you are lonely fragile and stupid. Well guess what we are adopting you you'd fit right in.#Also my face feels warm when I see you. In order to fix this I will feed you soup. Perhaps a stew.#and Cinnamon is simping so hard the crew needs to try and get you on their team so he'll stop being distracted all the time.#Spoiler alert: it does not make him less distracted when u join lol

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lorephobic · 5 months

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it sucks how much queer sex/expression in art gets sensationalized by the general public to the point of making the actors themselves uncomfortable when all they did was portray queerness, like as a queer person observing it happen in real time it always feels so othering when people can't just be normal about it

oh my god yeah. i’ve been thinking about it all day and obviously it's all speculation as to whether or not that's the reason barry's kind of distancing himself from saltburn, but the way people have been acting about jacob and barry after this movie is fucking crazy.

it's so annoying that straight characters get to just be characters who live and die inside of the story that they were created for. but for some reason, portraying a queer character is regarded as a sort of admission of the actor.

i think you're so right in talking about the sensationalism of queerness and i think it largely comes from the belief that queerness is something to be hidden and unveiled when the time is right. which means that any peak into a person's relationship with queer identity (in this case, barry playing a queer man and then extending this act to the pr surrounding the movie) opens them up to a line of questioning that they very well might not want to talk about. it's none of our business whether or not they're dating, and frankly it's delusional to assume that they MUST have a something romantic or sexual going on just because of the way their characters acted in saltburn.

the inability to draw lines between what's real and fiction and the pushing assumption that queerness is owed to us by people who play queer characters is so concerning. actors act. it is their job. not allowing them work-life separation is immature at best and harmful when taken to this extreme.

#saltburn #saltburn posting #i could literally talk about this all day it's been making me so mad lol #they're cute!!! i get it!!!! i think they're cute too!!!!!#but keep it to yourself for gods sake #and be rational about your thoughts and actions that are about and have the potential to impact real people's lives #barry voicing his frustrations about the internet taking his relationship with jacob too far #is not a cute 'gotcha' moment #it's. scary. and sad.#this guy that he likes a ton and used to hang out with #he can't even mention anymore or people are going to be weird about it #because they worked together. they did their jobs and told a story together #that people are conflating for real life because it fits their idea that queerness is so off-limits #that a straight person would never assume that role #this is so.#im so grumpy now LOL

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