#then its really hard to write code for it bc you have to tell the computer Absolutely Everything | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fluffshisuga · 1 year

Text

Exams (Xavier x Reader)

Hello again! Finals are here at my university and let me tell you, it sucks. But this is perfect, because a request came in!

Requested by @ilovexavierthrope : Could you pls write one about Xavier x reader and the reader has ADHD maybe if your okay with that and the reader is studying for finals like crazy bc its their first year at nevermore? (Maybe mention that reader has autism). I tried my best, I feel like I had the ADHD part down, especially since I have it, but I’m currently not professionally on the spectrum so I hope I didn’t do too bad! Also, for anyone taking exams, I believe in you! You got this! This is 4225 words omg also it's 234am i love you guys 💙

Warnings: Mentions that reader is fem, some angst, panic over exams. I never really said that the reader is autistic or had adhd but it's heavily implied mainly by my own adhd habits, i had YouTube playing while i wrote this and i was also listening to music.

Like any other school, Nevermore had exams for their classes as well. Of course, they were different from normal exams, which meant that the students had to study harder than the average teen. Although most students were already used to the hard studying, newcomers were prone to having a far more difficult time trying to fit studying into their already busy schedules. Especially you, who had only just started your first year at Nevermore. Classes were already pretty difficult for an ever-racing mind, but trying to cram a bunch of information in to a brain that can’t even remember what it had for breakfast? Torture.

Your routine was based off the clock, classes from 9am to near 5pm, giving you barely enough time to eat during the day, which resulted in you just completely forgetting that you needed food. Once that was over, you would beeline to the library to collect any books you could that had information on the classes you were taking. You had no idea what you were doing, never having a set study habit, and just trying whatever came to mind, you had flashcards and paper filled with copied notes, some colour coded in hopes that it would make it easier to remember. You even had a whole playlist that you listened to while studying, yet, for whatever reason, the words wouldn’t stick. You’d have to read over what you had already read multiple times, only to space out halfway through and come back confused. You’d constantly look up from your books and check the time, frowning when you noticed it had only been 5 minutes since you last checked, although it felt like it had been way longer. You would constantly change the song as well, deeming certain ones to be unhelpful in your studies even if you added them to the playlist specifically for that reason.

You only really had contact with friends in class, who would ask you if you were free later that day to hang out. Enid especially asked you almost every day, frowning each time you told her you needed to study for the exams coming up. Wednesday even started to show concern, pointing out the dark circles forming under your eyes, and the growl of your stomach at the mention of lunch. “I think you should take a break, really.” Enid said, taking the book out of your hand and closing it. You desperately tried to write down what page you were on, but it had already left your mind. “Enid! Now I must read the whole thing again to find out what page I was on.” You scowled. Enid only shook her head and gathered your things up as the class was dismissed. “You’re coming to lunch with us, whether you like it or not! I can even quiz you while we eat if that would make you feel better?” You could only sigh as you left your seat, trudging after Enid and Wednesday.

You sat down at a table, looking down at the food you had grabbed with heavy eyes. A slam next to you nearly made you jump out of your skin. “Pop quiz!” Enid exclaimed, holding one of your books in her hand. “Let’s see…ah! Who was the last God to enter Olympus?” You stared blankly at Enid, not comprehending what she had even said yet. You tried to think, racking your brain as you did, but nothing came up. There was only one name that came up when you thought of the question. “Alexius?” Was all you could come up with, and you knew it was the wrong answer as soon as you said it, watching Enid’s smile droop slightly at the answer. “Uh, no not quite. It says here that it was Dionysus. I’m not sure if I’m saying that right but yeah, not Alexius.” Enid stated, placing the book down in front of you and pointing out the answer. You facepalmed as the answer came into your head just seconds before she said the name, becoming mildly discouraged already.

“Dionysus was the last God, but only because Homer didn’t admit him in.” A voice spoke behind you, and you felt the seat next to you shift as someone sat down beside you. Looking over, you lock eyes with Xavier, whom you shared the class with. He smiled as he continued, “Although that was a good guess, but his name is pronounced Alcaeus, it’s not really spelled the same way. That was the original name of Heracles, also not pronounced the same way as the Disney movie. It means Strength, and many leaders in Greece were named Alcaeus for that reason.” You dropped your head in defeat and embarrassment, feeling inferior to Xavier’s random knowledge on the Greek Gods. “That wasn’t even part of the class though, where did you get that name from?” He asked, placing his hand on his cheek as he looked at you. “I’m going to be honest,” you started, “no idea. I thought that if I read the whole book, I’d be ready for the exam, but I don’t even remember reading about Alcaeus.” A moment of silence fell onto the table, only to be interrupted by a gasp from you. “That’s right! That name was in a game I played! It was all about Greek Mythology. Alcaeus was the brother that we thought was dead. That’s where I got the name from.” The sudden memory made you excited, but your cheeks flushed red as you realized that your outburst was all because of a game, and that your answer to Enid’s question was all based off said game. “Anyway, clearly I need to study more, so I should be going.” You started, taking a large bite of food, and gathering your items once again. “Y/n! At least finish eating?” Enid yelled, watching as you trotted away, a book opened in your hands.

Later that day, you sat under a tree, a different book in hand and pencil in the other, hurriedly writing anything that you felt was important for your French class. You had a list of words that would be considered feminine in French, placing certain words into the column and others in the other. “So, If I wanted to preserve something…it would be…sanctuariser. Do I even need to know that?” You spoke to yourself, looking back to the little piece of paper with a list of things the teacher said to study. “Absolutely not.” You groaned as you dropped your arms, playing with the grass and taking a few breaths. “Need any help?” A voice spoke, spooking you and causing you to hit your head on the trunk of the tree. Xavier hovered over you, a concerned look on his face as he watched you rub the back of your head. “Xavier, you scared the living daylights out of me!” You breathed, checking your hand to see if you were bleeding. “Sorry,” he chuckled, taking a seat next to you. He looked over your shoulder and read what you had written down, taking your pencil, and correcting minor mistakes like accents over e’s and the like. “I can help you, if you want?” He asked, watching as you looked down at the grass. You didn’t want to ask for help. Asking for help was like admitting defeat, and defeat would make people disappointed in you. Your mind raced at the idea that people would see you as a failure, and you desperately grabbed the grass to keep yourself grounded. “Uh, not now. Thank you, Xavier, though.” You said, taking the pencil back and writing more terms in French. Xavier kept his seat next to you, watching as you tried to study a new way, a way that you were taught when you were small. It was mainly a way to make sure you remembered how to spell words but writing the French words three times seemed like it would help you to remember them. It worked, slightly.

As the time passed, the sun began to set. The breeze, although it was welcomed, was also distracting, and getting colder. You shivered as you flipped through the pages of yet another book, drifting your eyes over to Xavier every now and then to see if he was still there. He had been looking over your shoulder the whole time, asking if he could help every now and then. Sometimes he would help whether you liked it or not and would write little notes on the side of certain words in hopes that it would help you remember them better. Eventually he stood up and extended his hand out to you. “Come on, lets go inside before it gets too cold.” He offered. You stared at his hand for a moment, gathering up your things and taking it. “I still haven’t found the answer to a lot of the review questions, though, so once I get inside, I need to go to the library and find a book that has the answers.” You started, walking beside Xavier towards the giant doors. “I’m sure you can find the answers tomorrow, the exams aren’t until next week.” Xavier said, opening the door for you. You sighed as the warm air hit you, closing your eyes and giving you a brief wave of fatigue. You opened your eyes, looking up at Xavier, “I know that, but I just need to make sure I know the material.” Xavier could only scoff and shake his head as you checked your phone. “I have to go; I need to get those books!” You shouted, sending a final wave to Xavier as you sped away.

The next day was a Saturday. There were no classes, giving students extra time to catch up on both sleep and their studies. This also meant that you were up at sunrise, quickly making your way to the library. Your mind raced as you thought of what you needed to study next, while also trying to remember what you had studied the previous day. This early in the morning, there weren’t many people in the library, giving you first pick at what you needed for studying. With your arms full, you tucked yourself into a corner and set up your study space.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xavier woke up around 10am, a time he deemed normal for the weekend. He turned in his bed and glanced at the empty bed on the other side of the room, once occupied by Rowan. He would always comment on Xavier’s sleeping habits and tell him about getting enough sleep, claiming that it would help him remember more from his classes. He groaned at the thought of Rowan not being there, and slowly got up. He took a quick shower and made his way down to grab something to eat. He took a seat next to a tired Enid and emotionless Wednesday, Enid picking at her food as she looked around the room. “Xavier, you’re later than normal.” Wednesday pointed out, glancing over at him. Xavier could only shrug and take a bite of his food, watching as Enid’s head whipped around every few moments. He raised an eyebrow, “what are you looking for, Enid?” He questioned, fork midway to his mouth. Enid’s nails shot out and quickly retracted, and she took a final glance around before she set her eyes on Xavier. “Y/n, they aren’t here yet.” She said, tapping her fingers as she took another bite. “She’s normally here by now,” she mumbled, placing a hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t spit any food out. Xavier looked around, scanning the room quickly before shrugging. “Maybe she’s sleeping in? She’s been studying a lot; she’s got to be exhausted.” He explained, taking a final bite of his food. Enid shook her head and frowned. “She never misses our breakfast routine, you know that.” Xavier raised his hands, nodding his head. “I understand. Listen, I’ll keep an eye out for her, how about that? If I see her, I’ll let you know and tell her you’re worried.” Enid’s face relaxed a bit and her shoulders dropped slightly, nodding.

With that, Xavier went about his Saturday routine. Archery practice, a trip to the library, lunch. The whole time, he kept his eyes open for you. He didn’t see you in the library, which only told him that you were probably still sleeping. Once 3pm came around and you didn’t show up for lunch, he went out in search of you. He looked by the tree he had found you the previous day, a pencil in your spot. Xavier figured that you left it by accident and picked it up, planning to hand it back to you next time he saw you. He ran into Ajax and asked him if he had seen you, “last I saw Y/n, they were in the library, in the normal corner. They were there when I showed up, but that was a bit ago.” Ajax recounted, and he walked back with Xavier to the library to show him where you had been sitting, only to find the corner empty save for a book. Xavier sighed as he picked it up, placing it in his bag along with the growing list of items he needed to return to you. You weren’t at dinner either, and now Enid wasn’t the only one worried about your whereabouts. Xavier even went to your dorm, knocking on the door and talking with your roommate. “Honestly? Haven’t seen them for a bit. They weren’t in bed when I got up this morning. Come to think of it, they weren’t in bed when I went to sleep either.” They said, shrugging. Xavier sighed and ran a hand through his hair, stress building up as the time went by. He had no idea where you would be hiding.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were on the ground, laptop in front of you and books scattered around you. Your phone played your studying playlist as you waved your hand along the ground in search of the pen you had just put down. Your laptop had multiple tabs open, YouTube in one, a few word documents, an “official page of Greek Mythology” opened in yet another tab. So many things happening at once, yet you couldn’t focus on any of them. Normally, having multiple stimuli helped you get assignments done, but for something so nerve wracking and important as exams, nothing seemed to do the trick. You felt yourself breakdown slowly as you stared at the blank page, unable for the life of you to come up with the answer to “Who visited Danae, and fathered her son?” Your mind told you that it was simple, the answer on the tip of your tongue, yet nothing. You start to shake your head, muttering curses to yourself for not remembering something so simple as a name. You switched through songs on your phone, hoping that a song would pop up that would spark the answer. You didn’t hear the snapping outside the room, or the rumbling of the statue revealing a staircase. You were too preoccupied, trying desperately to hold your tears back so you wouldn’t smudge the ink on your paper.

Xavier walked down the stairs, stopping mid step to find you in the center of the room, rocking and holding back sniffles as you shuffled through paper. He called out your name, hoping to catch your attention, but he quickly realized that you had your earbuds in, unable to hear a single word he could utter. He stepped carefully, making his way slowly towards you so you didn’t get spooked. He watched as the tears welled up even more in your eyes as you slowly looked up, realizing that you were no longer alone. Realizing that you were in a vulnerable state, Xavier sat next to you, wrapping an arm around your shaking figure, and rubbing your back, letting you collect your thoughts. You shuddered as you tried to hold back your tears, but Xavier’s calming voice seemed to finally break the dam. “I know you’re stressed. You can tell me about it when you’re ready.”

Tears spilled from your eyes and ran down your cheeks. You struggled to get anything out that weren’t incoherent sobs, a stutter of words falling from your lips as you struggled to explain. “I just? You know? It’s my first year here,” another sob, “and I don’t want to seem like a failure. I want them to know that I can handle it! I can! But my mind is just racing? Everything is distracting me, but if I don’t have anything to distract me, I get super anxious and cant focus. But I hate it so much.” You breathed heavily as you tried to find a way to explain your thoughts. “I just…I don’t want to be a disappointment. I want to get good marks on these exams, so no one looks down on me, and yet I just can’t understand what I’m looking at. But the idea of asking for help feels so demeaning! It feels like I’m admitting to failure, and if I do that, then I’m a lost cause.” You continued to sob as you turned to bury your face into Xavier’s chest, the harsh reality becoming real as you spoke, causing you to break down even more. Xavier remained quiet as he kept rubbing your back, humming a soft tune to calm you down. He allowed you to get all your emotions out and calm down on your own, only whispering every now and then soft words of comfort until you had cried enough. You slacked in his embrace, taking deep breaths as your tears began to dry.

Xavier brought your face up so he could meet your eyes. He took note at how red they were, how puffy your skin had become, and how dark the circles under your eyes had become. He sighed as he studied your face, trying to find the right words to say. “You’re not a failure, I can see that. And you’re not a failure for accepting help when you need it. Exams are stressful, trust me, but you don’t have to deal with he stress of them alone, you know. You have me, and Enid, and Wednesday would probably help you if you asked.” He wiped tears away as he continued, “No one will think you’re a failure. They wont see you as a disappointment either. No one is perfect, hell, I failed an exam my first year all because I was too stressed to even understand what it was I was learning. Am I a disappointment?” You shook your head in response, a small smile on your lips. “No, maybe a bit of a dork, but not a disappointment.” You responded. Xavier smiled and rested his forehead against yours. “Exactly. Everyone fails at least once. I think it builds character. But you’re not going to fail. Not if I can help it.” He pressed a kiss to you temple as he grabbed one of your books, “Now, Danae was visited by a God and was then pregnant. Remember that her son is the one that’s supposed to take down the king, her father. Which God seems like the kind of person to knock a girl up knowing that the prophecy states a war to follow?” You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking hard. “A God that would do something like that? It sounds like a Zeus thing?” You questioned, brows furrowed. Xavier smiled and nodded, pointing out an excerpt from the book. So Danae endured, the beautiful, to change the glad daylight for brass-bound walls, and in that chamber secret as the grave She lived a prisoner. Yet to her came Zeus in the golden rain. This was the story of Perseus.

Xavier stayed by your side as you studied together, helping each other to remember the content. As the night dragged on, your eyes became heavy, and you yawned. “I think it’s time to wrap it up for tonight, don’t you think?” Xavier asked as he closed the book he was reading from. You nodded slowly, stretching your arms, and sighing as your back popped and cracked as you moved the stiff muscles. “Can we do this again tomorrow, then?” You asked, gathering your items up. Xavier smiled and nodded, “Of course, but only after you get some rest and something to eat tomorrow.” You chuckled and made your way up the stairs, walking with Xavier back up to your dorm. The next morning, you woke around 10:30, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You looked over at your phone, finding a text from Xavier that read, “Once you wake up, let me know, I’ll meet you for breakfast.” You smiled as you sat up in bed, stretching your tired muscles and letting out a yawn. You grabbed something to wear and picked up your bag full of study material, shooting a text to Xavier and making your way to the dining hall.

He met you there and walked with you to grab your food, sitting down at your normal table and eating silently for a few moments. Enid and Wednesday followed shortly after, Enid hurrying to your side and expressing her worries for your well-being, and scolding Xavier for not telling her that you were ok. You chuckled at her and thanked her for worrying about you, continuing to take bites of your food as the two girls went off to get their own food. “So, I was thinking,” Xavier started, holding his fork in the air, and pointing it towards you. “That’s never good,” you quickly said, stifling a giggle. Xavier frowned, continuing, “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Anyway, exams begin in three days, so why don’t we study together until they’re over? We meet in the secret room, I bring snacks and water, we ace those exams?” You sat there, chewing on your food as you thought about his offer. He was a great help when it came to studying, and your little session last night helped you to understand a bit of what you were doing. “Sounds like a plan.” You said, taking another bite of your breakfast.

The days following were filled study sessions with Xavier, and once one exam was done you studied for the next exam. Feeling confident, you walked into each class ready to take the exam, meeting Xavier afterwards to tell him about it and how you felt afterwards. You’d then get dinner, study for the next exam, and just hang out between studying to give your minds a break. It felt as if the exams went by with a snap, and before you knew it, they were over. You had two days until the grades would come out, and although you were happy for it to finally be over, a part of you was sad that you wouldn’t be meeting Xavier each night to study anymore. It felt as if a cloud hung over your head as you went to bed that night, only growing heavier as your thoughts raced once again. In the morning, you woke up to a text from Xavier, asking you when you wanted to go get breakfast. You smiled as you got up and ready, the cloud above your head slowly shrinking as you went to meet Xavier for breakfast. Afterwards, you walked together into Jericho, finding a coffee shop to refuel your energy that had left your body from the week. “Do you think you passed?” You asked Xavier as you took a sip of your drink, its contents brought you joy and comfort. Xavier took a sip of his own drink, a smile gracing his lips. “Of course, I had the best study partner in all of Nevermore to help me.” You felt your cheeks warm at his comment, drifting your eyes down to you drink in embarrassment. “Yeah… Maybe I did well too, then.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When grades came out, you nearly cried. You had passed every single exam, and it was all thanks to Xavier. You had looked everywhere to find him, finding him in his dorm working on a sketch in his sketchbook. When he opened the door, you ran in and wrapped your arms tightly around his torso, a giant smile greeting him. “Xavier! We did it! I passed all the exams!” You shouted happily, jumping in excitement. Xavier hugged you back, planting a kiss to your hair as he reveled in your excitement. Your smile was contagious and seeing you happy made him happy. “That’s amazing!” He exclaimed, his smile widening as he looked at you. “We need to celebrate.” And with that, the two of you went out to a small restaurant, enjoying each other’s company as you talked about anything you could think of. After, you went to get something sweet to eat as you made your way back to the school, making your way to Xavier’s dorm. “Let’s watch a movie!” You said, pulling out your phone and connecting it to the little projector you had left in his room one time. You spent the whole night watching movies, cuddled up together. Eventually, you fell asleep in Xavier’s arms, and he gave you a final kiss on your temple before whispering goodnight, falling asleep himself.

Hi me again. Your comments mean so much to me💙 i woke up to my phone constantly buzzing with feedback on Festive Outings, it made me really happy you have no idea. Again, if you have exams soon, you got this!! 💙💙

555 notes · View notes

dumbdollii · 10 months

Text

SOON AS I GET HOME

pairing ! ━━ plug!dabi todoroki x sneaky!link! black!reader

cw ! ━━ minors do not interact. reader is black and thick coded, getting high w/ dabi, high!dabi slutting you out on the couch, pet names, mentions of nudity, dabi taking pics of u slumped out :((, breeding, sharing smoke by kissing with plug!dabi, fingering with his dick still inside, teasing.

note ! ━━ axe had me snickering Abt this au n now I'ma write abt it bc God knows how much she loves her lil burnt man.

"dabi, I'ma need to get put on with sum'. Its rough out here and you're my only hope." You said over the phone, heavy silence filled the phone, dabi laughing quietly. "You really are somethin', princess. 'ight, I'll give you somethin' good. Just wait outside your door, I'ma be out there in a lil while." He scoffed out, hanging up the phone as soon as you were gonna respond to him. 11:25 PM, that was the time you left the house and waited outside with nothing but some shorts, a sleeve shirt, and your bonnet. As the cold, silky wind hit your legs, look who dropped in, Dabi. He drove up to your block, already smoking a blunt with the shiny, tinted windows down.

"finally! Your ass took too fucking long..I'm freezing out here." Your tone sounded annoyed, considering dabi had you stand outside for a whole hard minute. "Relax princess, be happy I came just in time to see your pretty ass," He said as he parked the car and came out. Givin' your ass a slight slap, you jumped up a bit in pain and slapped his hand. "Harsh, but ight'." "nigga please don't start, what's harsh is that hairline of yours." You said as you laughed out loudly, he wasn't having it and scoffed. "Yea, right."

You walked to the front door and opened it, swiftly moving your body to the couch. With you bein' all bothered you started sighing and held your hand out, looking up at him with curious eyes. "Oh. My apologies. here you go, doll." "Thank you, roki." He throws you the bag, opening it and rolling up a blunt. His eyes widened at The nickname, surprised you'd even use his last name as a silly nickname for him. A few moments passed and you were already all up on Dabi, laying on his big, muscular frame.

Both of you were both heavily high and everything was like euphoria all over again. "I wanna try something new, roki." You whined in his ear. "Oh yea? Like what, rubbing your pussy all over me or what." "No, what? I-" he stopped you from speaking. "Actually, don't even tell me. I wanna try somethin' new with you," While he still was smoking the fuck out the blunt he had in his hand he kept the smoke in, kissing you in the process and letting it out into your mouth. Your body stiffened and the strong smoke rested in your mouth, kiss after kiss it was sloppy. The smoke came out through your nose with a stern huff. "fu..roki...~" You said, moaning out to him. "Damn princess, your moans are just as cute in real life then on the phone." And that's when he pulled away. Your body was so blissed out from the kiss, feeling a wet pool in your panties.

you really were never fond of dabi todoroki. He was always teasing you as a kid, and to see how much he changed, how much he longed to want you ; really did shock you back into reality. "Was that even...did you just put that in my- oh my god." He laughed in response. "What? Too shocked about what the hell I did to you? Don't worry, I know you wanted it Y/n. Let me slut that pretty pussy out, promise I'll make it your while, doll."

"you? Make my while? How bold of you Dabi Todoroki. I wouldn't hear your brother sayin' this shit at all. I'm surprised twice didn't come pop a damn cap in ya' ass." You said with annoyance. "Ohh, you wanna be funny, huh? Yea. I'ma make you moan then you gon' stop laughing." Obviously you didn't take that seriously, but knowing him it would be impossible to turn down an offer like this. "Soon as I get home you gon' miss my dick thrusting into you." You gulped. "Uhuh...yea."

Not even a moment after that happened you wouldn't expect yourself to be underneath him, being so submissive for him and moaning. Your tits bouncing back and forth while he slut you out on the same very couch you guys sat on. His fingers were still inside you from fingering you a while ago, thrusting harder into your tight cunt. "Goddamn, this pussy all mine, got that? All fucking mine. Sooner or later you'll learn to take my size every time I come to visit." Groans and huffs were heard from dabi, his body was shaking slightly while he fucked into you. He grabbed you thighs, throwing them over his shoulder and kissed your inner thighs with ease as you squirmed and huffed.

"Pl-please..ah!..I fucking h..hate you..~" "Hate me? Nah baby, you fuckin' love me. Don't be so stubborn when you're the one clamping around my dick like a bitch outta heat." His tone darkened. Nothing made him more horny then to see your pretty body on his, oh how he longed to touch you. You were just so...beautiful, how could he not resist making you have sex with him just this once? "Heh..~ look at you, drooling all over yourself and cryin' like a baby. Want me to take my fingers out, my lil' baby? Don't wanna squirt all over me?" Humiliation. The way he made you feel embarrassed only turned you on in the slightest second.

he pulled his phone out, knowing you were about to reach your climax soon. "Augh~! Shit...! Can-t, 'm gonna cum!". He felt your pussy flutter around his dick. Letting out a stern moan with it, he also felt himself coming to a halt. "Fuck..Y/n..shi...c'mon! cum on this dick, tryna feel your pussy all on me." You whimpered in response, now you know not to bet this nigga on anything.

You finally came, and so did he, but inside you. While trying to focus on your breathing he took his fingers out, and took his dick out too. Cum seeped through your needy hole, and that's when he took a picture of it. Taking videos and pictures of him teasing your pussy while you were blissed out, rubbing your clit while recording just to see his cum flow out. "Shit, honestly you did good. 'hope you alright though. Maybe this should be a daily thing." You finally had the strength to get up and dabi was already getting ready to clean you up. "Daily thing? Whew boy..you got something coming if u think this is gonna be something daily. I'ma miss you coming over though." You said as a stifled laugh left your throat and he rolled his eyes, ignoring you. "Yea, I'ma miss you too, princess.

all works ©NEKOWEB. Do not Plagiarize , redistribute , or post my work as your own, that will get an instant block.

#mha x reader #mha smut #dabi x black!reader #plug!dabi

137 notes · View notes

mickmundy · 1 year

Text

long post of me Thinking Aloud about the way i ship bushmedicine and how i personally write them in my fic series, which you can read here.

lots under the cut!

i have a really specific kind of story i’m trying to tell.. i think you’re supposed to not only relate to sniper, but also be frustrated by him too! like "augghh why cant he just let himself have a little love!!" ykwim…!! its supposed to feel sweet but also melancholy…

medic is being delicate with sniper not because he’s smothering himself (because that goes against his own “code”), but he’s coming to terms with the fact that he Wants to be sensitive to the needs of someone else, even when it’s complex and not something he knows how to do right away. he's fine with (eager to, in fact) putting time into learning sniper. it's fun for him, surprisingly!

i think both medic and sniper are people who are frequently wrapped up in other aspects of their lives (professions, hobbies) that finding A Partner in the midst of that is either something that he doesn’t feel like he deserves (sniper) or is something he swore he never wanted (medic).

medic is a healer. he’s a healer because that’s what he wants to be (although he prefers to do the Hurting! hehe) and not because anyone told him he should be or because he had some Higher Calling To Help The Sick. he operates on the basis of “i do not walk to the world, the world walks to Me” (imo this suits healers more than the stupid “healslut” trope lol but anyway). he knows his worth and has no problem asserting his place in the world, taking up space that is his right to take up!

sniper on the other hand, isn’t meek or even shy, really, but is always warpped up on having to “earn” everything. has to earn putting creamer in his coffee has to earn a long shower etc, it’s how he was raised. in my fics i talk about his struggle with feelings (“y’know who’s got a lot of feelin’s” <- uhhh. you!) and how he feels them and if he has the “right” to feel what he does.

so when medic says/hints to sniper “you are alive becuase i wanted you to be. i WILLED it because i WANTED it”, sniper absolutely does NOT know how to deal with someone feeling so intensely about him or his life in general, especially not someone who he didn’t really.. know. this calls into question his feelings of Worthiness and what, or why, medic is doing, being so sweet on him anyway! he didn’t do anything to Deserve It!

but to medic, sniper doesn’t Need to do anything To deserve it. it was mutually beneficial for him to do at the time (to prove he could and to revive his teammate); the revival was the catalyst that brought them together, but not the thing that makes them fall in love. they do that all on their own, much to their mutual surprise. it’s not Fate, its not Soul Mates, it’s just… them. together. in sync, understanding one another and finding peace within each other.

in another vein, i think silent envy is a characteristic for sniper that is easily applicable to his character. not that he’d take it out on the subject of his jealousy, but it adds onto this Complex Melancholy that hangs over him like a sad little raincloud….

medic feels freely and does whatever he wants whenever he wants and he’ll be polite and be nice to others of course, he also doesn’t feel like he should change any part of himself for others. Sniper’s envious of this, wishes he could just feel things and move on immediately and not be constantly feeling like he has to do things to please others (his parents… or what he himself Thinks he wants).

both of them have lived In Their Ways their entire lives and these ways have been what has kept them alive, so both of them see it as “well if it’s not broke don’t fix it”, but when they start having these Feelings for each other they realize no, it’s not Broken, but what’s wrong with a little fine-tuning? a little give and take. push and pull.

these kinds of things can be very hard for medic and sniper specifically bc i don’t think either of them are quick to hand out apologies or admit when they’re wrong (sniper is a sore loser and medic just does everything with Conviction so he usually genuinely doesn’t ever think he’s wrong), and grappling with not only the Desire to change, but to do so because you care about the person you have feelings for, not out of professional necessity or because something about you is Fucked Up. some change IS good and can make you a better person for it, too!

i also use food as a metaphor for hunger. hunger as in, romantic, sexual. drive and desire like a base need, like instinct, something within our blood and our biology that says ‘i need this. if i don’t get this, i don’t know what i’ll do.’ feeling that Pull for a person for the first time... knowing that hunger and nurturing it, not feeling ashamed for your desire or your Instinct to feel those feelings. Feeling them because they’re a part of you and, when you let yourself, you Love that part of you.

speaking about Overindulgence like it’s a fear; “be careful! if you feel those feelings too much, that’s Bad!” the fear of Being Bad to the point where you’ve done your damndest to wall off Feeling Feelings at all because you can’t imagine anything worse than being “bad”…. or being Unprofessional. :-) Unbecoming. some kind of Faceless Beast that your loved ones always cautioned against. and now look at you! you’re mad with love and you hate it. but you don’t want to hate it. you want to feel your feelings and revel in them, crush your jaws around the person that’s giving you those feelings and feeding that hunger, want to keep them there so that they’ll never leave. it’s scary to think about how badly you want it, isn’t it? best to not think about that plover bird that sits in your jaws it all, then, isn’t it, hungry crocodile?

to me, the apricot is the perfect fruit for sniper in this metaphor. obviously “the apricot” inside of the body where sniper’s aim for is a super cute reference that i think medic also gets a kick out of (morbid humor that ties them together in a more flirty chemistry kind of way). the apricot is a stone fruit, soft on the outside but hard at its core. easily bruised despite its hardness. i think sniper sees himself as something similar, but is actually the opposite. i think he’s hard around the edges, tough, but inside he’s quite sensitive, and he resents that sensitivity and softness.

in my writing, the apricot serves as a symbol of his profession (the spot sniper’s aim for where the head connects to the neck) And as the person he truly thinks he is. he’s convinced he’s bitter and hard at his core, which wouldn’t be such a bad thing to be if it was what he really was. but no, he’s soft, actually, and in the hands of someone who won’t bruise you, being such isn’t really so bad. maybe it’s a good thing, even. something to be cherished, instead of a flaw, like he’d been told all his life that softness was.

the readers haven’t gotten to medic’s fruit yet! :-) but i’m excited to elaborate more on it when i post the rest of my fics. there’s no sense in talking too far in advance before i’ve even published the fics i’m talking about, hehe! but medic’s perspective and take on all of this will become more prominent soon, so >:) stay tuned!! HEHEHE

#i want to talk about SOOO MUCH MORE but im trying to keep things vague in purpose AKSDFKASDKF #litcherally nobody asked And Yet... i post my thoughtse anyway >:)#bushmedicine #thou giveth fever #dutchiehcs #dutchfoolery #medsnip

24 notes · View notes

lylilorden · 1 year

Text

12 Questions for 12 Followers

thanks @dreamingthroughthenoise!!

1. Are you named after anyone?

nope! kind of the opposite, almost. ultrasound technology wasnt.... the best..... around when i was born, so my parents were expecting a boy, and then like twelve hours before i was born my mom had a funny feeling and they started shuffling through name books until they found my names. ha, jokes on them i grew up to be agender anyway

2. When was the last time you cried?

idk, probably no more than two days ago. i never used to cry, and now i cry at everything

3. Do you have kids?

i have my internet hellions @potatoesandsadness and @depressedwetnapkin, and also two baby nieces who i love a lot (but who taught me that yeah i probably dont want my own children. they are exhausting)

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

mm, i guess? i try to only do it if its obviously a joke bc i have a hard time telling when other people are sometimes, and i dont want anyone to struggle to interpret what im saying

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

in person, probably height? im pretty short so its a notable feature for me. online, i guess whatever the first handful of posts i see from them have in common?

6. What's your eye color?

bluegreengrey. they shift color depending on what im wearing and sometimes with my mood

7. Any special talents?

the first time i cook something it always turns out really well, and im good at remembering numerical passcodes and passwords. it took me exactly one time seeing it used to remember the code to the mail room door at my job (and my reward for that is that my boss always sends me over now to check it lmao)

8. What are your hobbies?

i read a lot, trad pub and fanfic (my favorite novel i've read this year is 'a taste of gold and iron' by alex rowland. my ao3 history is between me, myself, and i. god is not invited to this party, not even by implication). allegedly, i also write fic. im not very good at video games but i love playing uno on discord's knock-off uno app with @quack-snail-umbrella. im taking a ceramics class again bc i really enjoy it and that's the best and easiest way to get my hands on the materials. pressing plants for my collection, and occasionally making really stupid memes in a drawing app to inflict on my discord friends about niche things. does collecting books count as a hobby?

9. What sports do you play/have played?

i did gymnastics as a kid, and ice skating. i did archery in my teens, and nothing else since, bc between those three things ive made every single one of my joints permanently angry at me

10. How tall are you?

5' 2" with a lil upwards wiggle room

11. Favorite subiects in school?

art and history in high school, all my applied botany and ecology type classes im taking currently for my AS right now

12. Dream job?

that's kind of a tough one. i guess anything that helps me make a material, positive impact on the world? im not super picky i just want to not hate my job

tagging: everyone i already tagged up in my answers, @doodle-do-wop @displayheartcode @tethysresort @dear-rat-boi @my-insanity-is-an-artform @flaim-ita @sparklecryptid @chili-the-kid @kanafinwe-makalaure and anyone who feels like doing this

#no pressure i just thought yall might not mind a tag #personal

13 notes · View notes

morphogenetic · 10 months

Text

Mediaposting 2023, #35: Banana Fish (anime)

[said while vibrating very quickly and typing out like 20 different bullet points] i like this series a normal amount

okay so. non-spoiler thoughts:

step 1 YOU SHOULD READ/WATCH THIS. it does have content warnings for literally everything you can possibly think of as needing a common content warning (drug abuse, sexual assault, racism, and thats absolutely just the tip of the iceberg) but my fucking god. no wonder it's been such an influential piece of media on literally every jp anime/manga crime story (especially the BL ones) written since

for a series that is literally one of the early genesis points of BL as a genre i was ABSOLUTELY expecting more actual BL than was in this LOL. not that i'm really upset, bc honestly i really like the way that ash and eiji's relationship is written in a shoujo-y "they obviously care about each other a lot but it's not going to be outright romance" kind of way. bc like, honestly? that makes it way more emotionally satisfying (and devastating). i think it would actually make less sense if anything more happened In the story (though more happening in the epilogue wouldnt hurt LOL)

how the FUCK was this published in a shoujo magazine

the time period change to modern day from the mid-80's has both helped and hindered this series bc like. on one hand. much easier to do everything with a phone. also the update to shorter's character design was excellent,10/10 no notes. on the other hand. the Everything About It makes it so obvious that it was written to be a product of its time.

speaking of ^ ash turning from A Guy Who Knows How To Use A Computer into a hacking genius is so. why. i mean you can update it for sure but Why Like This

god i wish this had more room to breathe sometimes bc the exposition goes WILDLY fast sometimes. why did they try and do 19 volumes in 24 episodes. the 39 episodes that the director wanted would have been so nice to have

that said: the emotional moments that i actually give a shit about and that make up the core of the weight of the story are given what they deserve. at least up to volume 5 they are. gestures at ep 9? and 22 with a pained smile

i literally could write an essay about why it works so well as a spin on the american-style gangster story even while it definitely has flaws. and how its influenced so many fucking things. my god.

it has flaws for SURE but the rest is so good that i don't care. which is rare for me (gestures at nirvanai/neo twewy being other examples)

spoiler thoughts under the cut (like full-very-ending-of-series spoilers) but YEAH UH I LIKE THIS THING CAN YOU TELL BY HOW MUCH I WROTE ABOUT IT.

it does kind of annoy me that literally all of the canon-MLM (probably gay but you know) guys are horrible people lol. like wow love how the gay predator stereotype is on full display here. feeeeels baaaaad. i know i know asheiji homoeroticism i am ON THAT TRAIN

however yut-lung being feminine out of a wish to carry on his dead mom's legacy is kind of a slay. ive seen people go "ugh it sucks that one of the villains is a feminine man' but while he is definitely not a good person hes one of the less terrible villains, just like. as a person. hes also a teenager in shitty circumstances just with way more power and sway

here's the part where I admit that I was spoiled on the ending so it didn't hit as hard for me OOPS. however. the anime DOES leave it open-ended and it fucking irritates me that anime-only people are like "boo i hate the ending bc ash dies!!!" when it is LITERALLY AMBIGUOUS. i have heard that the manga is less ambiguous about it but :') oh well. anime-onlys what are you doing

speaking of ^ i actually like the ending. like i think a lot of people who absolutely hate it must not have a lot of familiarity with gangster movies as a genre bc it is a genre convention that the Main Gangster dies in the end. granted this was a hayes code thing which the manga definitely did not have to do LOL but its definitely supposed to feel unfair bc ash's damn LIFE is unfair.

however i'm glad the anime makes the ending ambiguous bc that feels like a more fitting end. like ash's life was always in limbo, considering what he was doing, so making his life in limbo at the end too? Good. Yes. Do That

the fucking. everything with shorter and the sa-yo-na-ra bit. i die. that shit is so emotionally painful

i know this sounds weird but i kind of wish they dragged out the "what the hell does banana fish mean" thing a LIIIITTLE longer but by that i mean like, halfway point of the series. like they could have used a little more time to figure out what it is. also that would have let shorter live a little longer ay lmao that said this criticism also almost definitely applies to the manga soooo. you know

#and yes i'm gonna finish the manga at some point. i just bought all of it like a lunatic after reading the first few volumes so. lol #junpei.txt #mediaposting #finished this last night but just doing a thorough write-up on it now

8 notes · View notes

redhead-reporter · 4 months

Note

Shaye Boogie! Where even do I begin?

Okay, I think I haven't put much time into talking about this yet. You have a VERY interesting way of writing Mary Jane. Maybe of writing in general, I don't know if I've ever seen you outside of school... You write a story as if you're switching back and forth between Lead and Trail. Any dance students out there? Anyone?

What I mean is, you are so generous with your writing. You can weave your way between 'Okay, let's advance the plot here, because we've spent all this time setting it up' and 'Is this where we're going? Great, let me adjust, and I'll dive right in' with ease. It's so easy to write with you, and I'm sure someone can back me up here, because writing with you is quick, calm collaborations.

You tell a story so comfortably, that its easy to jump in there and weave with you. It's fun to drop in and two step with you, because you've got this incredible ability to leave the dance floor open for whomever comes a calling, to guide them if they need guiding, and to give support if they wanna run. You're friend-coded with a pen in your hand, is what I'm trying to ramble across to you.

º ✧ 。 beep beep how's my portrayal with @feleshero !

ok i know i say it a lot bc dramatic but. i'm legit TEARING UP over here because this is the nicest fucking thing anyone has ever said about me in 10+ years of this hobby. honestly i don't think any compliment would mean MORE to me because ... well, that's really the heart of what we're all trying to do here, right? use many (brilliant, talented, and kind) hands to make light work of storytelling. it makes my stupid little heart so HAPPY to think that i make any part of that process easier for my partners, because y'all truly do mean the world to me. i'm not a fanfic writer, i NEED the collaboration so i work really hard to try and facilitate that how i can and i just-

yeah. this made me cry happy tears. thank you ❤️

#º ✧ 。we’re all little kids just looking for love love tag

3 notes · View notes

erikatsu · 5 months

Note

babe i get you. there are fics that are like poetry but people will ignore that but as soon as it's something way too smutty with just simple dialogues, they'll go for it.

believe it or not the 9k note fic was an extremely detailed porn w plot fic for toji that i researched japanese architecture for 😭 when i initially posted it on my previous blog it didn’t do as good so im definitely not complaining! but ive done so much better than that i know i have.

all my genshin works tend to stay anywhere from 100-300 note wise unless its multi-character or wild smut. it was so so hard to remind myself that is not why i should write. i should write for myself and i will because i am my own targeted audience. its why i only write my faves with some of my personality in the reader with a selfship/coded warning on it. even if it doesn’t do well here i know someone amongst the notes will like it enough to come back or to follow, and those on ao3 will take the time to leave nice and long comments too. i was really bummed about notes the other day before i was like ill try again and just leave it. its for myself anyway and at least one person will validate me. and your post was just a very refreshing and much needed reminder.

i am more apt to read a post with less than 1k notes because i know its gonna be more niche and potentially better written and not the same things over and over. while i like different takes on scenarios/hcs its draining when its the same ones time and time again on dash or in tags. i like flavor and spice, and posts with a smaller note count tell me that is what i’ll be getting. even if it’s not the best written it is FRESH and i WILL EAT IT UP BC IM STARVING AND THE RANGE IS NEEDED

#•. asks #•. moots #i rambled i am so sorry 😭#when you cant change the reader base #no actually im sticking with consumer #when you cant change the consumer base the writers..#the AUTHORS need as much positive reinforcement from their fellow authors as the can get #they*

2 notes · View notes

lunaryrs · 6 months

Note

🎵 cora and sienna

team / lorde

call all the ladies out, they're in their finery. a hundred jewels on throats, a hundred jewels between teeth. now bring my boys in, their skin in craters like the moon. the moon we love like a brother while he glows through the room. dancing around the lies we tell, dancing around big eyes as well. even the comatose, they don't dance and tell.

this one representing the entire friend group... i think they're so early lorde coded because they're so small town punk bitch royalty, skateboard wheels on cracked asphalt, slurpees in the parking lot, the gaggle of them with bruised knees and scuffed converse feeling on top of the world cuz their little hole-in-the-wall bar doesn't look too hard at their fake IDs when its otherwise dead on tuesday nights.

youth / troye sivan what if we run away? what if we left today? ... what if we start to drive? what if we close our eyes? what if we're speeding through red lights into paradise? 'cause we've no time for getting old, mortal bodies, timeless souls. cross your fingers, here we go. ... my youth is yours.

ummm why do i need ot explain this one just read the words. no i'm kidding i had a whole thought out thing for this one but i prioritized writing out other ones and then jake called me in the middle of doing that and i forgot about everything and this whole meme went to shit and here we are. but i know that you have a big brain and honestly? even if you didn't this one is pretty self explanatory.

16 / sadie jean

your old room, these walls look different. nothing's new, just days and distance. and i'm freaked out the more i realize it's gone now, but sometimes i want to be 16 at the park, parked in your dad's car. ... best friends, wanna get drunk in a backyard. so cool hanging out in the backyard. girl talk, talk about boys like it's business. mom's mad, gotta get home this instant. 16, bittersweet.

bram is only a baby and all but fuck that guy for coming between them like this............ i don't know i just picture cora in that little apartment with the baby reminiscing on the youth that she had/should still have rly and seeing her friendship w sienna at the center of it all. reflecting on the passing of time and all that's been lost and gained. they're still in each other's lives they'll just never have that version of themselves back and i think cora wishes she recognized how good those moments were when she was in them

"slut!" / taylor swift

flamingo pink, sunrise boulevard. clink clink, being this young is art. aquamarine moonlit swimming pool. what if all i need is you? ... adorned with smoke on my clothes, lovelorn and nobody knows. love thorns all over this rose. ... but if i'm all dressed up, they might as well be looking at us. and if they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once.

my little lesbianism au... i love it because it conjures up images of like the neighborhood pools they'd hop the fence into, them attached by their pinkies floating side by side on tacky pool floats they got prior raiding walmart with full intent to trespass bc they knew someone was on vacation or whatever. i know i told you i never really had a reason for cora's general sense of discontent until i thought of this and everything kind of clicked. very clear on sienna being all she could ever need but hadn't considered it in the romantic sense and i couldn't unthink of it that way ever since. in terms again of the greater friend group given how a few of the guys treat mollie it's like ok... perhaps not the biggest leap to think there's some misogyny there, surely some criticism from the skeevier guys that would feel like yknow the hot girls in the friend group are obliged to them somehow (and of course being romantically involved w some of them already as well). so i like this idea that they have this sensual secret thing going on and just kind of weighing the pros and cons of being like fuck it lets abandon this charade

6 notes · View notes

clonehub · 1 year

Text

Copied from discord because i lost it in there KJASDHFLKAJSDFHLK

Who was developed? Wrecker. Why? Because of his trope. They stick to those tropes HARD all the way to the end gotta hand the writers that at least. Was the empire really developed? No Andor creating everything it did in six episodes and I think roughly the same number of hours and and tbb gives us a hiccup about the chain codes and the ends of the production of clones which we already knew about The lighting is nice the render is nice the lip sync is okay the VAing needs WORK. the soundtrack esp the main theme leaves much to be desired. the story just needs. some kind of overhaul. how tf can your premiere actually make the show less appealing. it went from unbearable to tolerable ive had that happen once to me before and that was The Office AKJSDHFLAJSFDHLKAS remember how they kept saying tbb would be darker than tcw. they had bitches heads bouncing in season 1 what did the tbb do HM? every time i went into an episode i was like wow the needle has not budged theyre digging their feet in on the whole Tell over showing wowowowow Did you know that Wrecker, as the demo expert, almost exclusively uses a gun? Did you know that crosshair's absence actually did not materially affect the team at all either in performance or emotional cohesion? Did you know that these people actually dont really care about each other and they really feel more like roommates with weapons who all have to look after a spunky kid than a family? You can't just call everything found family they gotta actually act like it and omega waiting until like 4 episodes before the finale to call the batch her brothers is not. how you wanna go about that. and they dont like. call her their sister when speaking about her to other people crosshair's fascism is actually a lot stronger than I remember like he's just on a constant path of doubling down i think his stans are just deluding themselves as to his moral standing and also frankly disrespecting his character for insisting he has 0 autonomy and is actually Really Good deep down why was one of the nicest moments when tbb all turned their guns on crosshair bc they thought he had the capacity to shoot hunter and/or a literal child why dont we get more tense moments like that

lie hot damn. what a (nothing) show. this could have easily faded from the collective conscious of star wars but its animated and animated well and also the Trope Troupe (4/5 man band set up) is always popular ig because of how goddamn easy it is to write and absorb? because who ever strays from that i was called slurs over this show lmao NAWT to spam yall with essentially a preview to the video essay about tbb i may or may not be writing next year but the fact that i cant even nail down a central theme-- is it family? only at the end and some parts in the middle. is it choice? not really? are they always on survival mode? yeah. does it FEEL like that? no because these bitches got something giggly going on 24/7 like the tonality is allll over the placeeeeee your fascist brother is hunting you for sport because he willingly joined a genocidal authoritarian regime that wants you and your kid sister dead why was the humorous writing outpacing literally every other mood by a mile

this show is like. style over substance. it wants the credit of creating an emotional story without doing any of the work to create that feeling in the slightest. a nothing burger. fireworks but its more smoke than flash. a tease of a theme here or there to keep you on the edge of your seat in the sense that youll sit there like "wow will they go down that road? will they address the size 00 elephant (crosshair) in the room?" and its almost always no some say a show doesnt need to be deep to be good i say yes it does because i have taste and no patience. and also good is so subjective as a metric for quality it just sounds like a disingenous argument from the start my friends and i were harassed over this show entire people leaving the fandom bc-- ok. im done. thats my review!

#ch posts #tbb rewatch #tbb neg #there's a part 2 coming #but like lmao this show

11 notes · View notes

veraynes-blog · 1 year

Note

hi! During the hollidays I went completely berserk on your tensimm fics and devored them. I never took the time to leave a comment because i was just always ravenous for the next chapter lol. I especialy love unspoken!! the concept of a willingly broken down and stuck tardis that still somewhat functions but isn't itself but still has all the infinite rooms,,,,argh!!! makes my brain go brrrrr i feel like its such rich ground for existencial horror Other than that, I'm absolutely in love with how you interprent tensimm, especially this..darker version of themelf the doctor can be if he lets himself get influenced, it really feels like yeah, this is what would happen to them. I also think you wrote the sexiest fanfic porn i ?? ever read???!! and ive been reading those for longer than i should Anyway I wanted to draw a big piece of fanart for you but other work got in my way. I still really wanted to show my appreciation for your writing hence this out of nowhere ask I wonder, what are your thoughts on 12 and missy? They're my fav version of them bc missy character's arc just!!!!gets to me, would love to have your thoughts :) Anyway i'll stop rambling on now, I hope you have a lovely day, I can't wait for whatever writing you have planned next

Oh wow, thank you so much??? 🥰 What a lovely message to log in to this morning!!

Ahhgh I'm so glad you enjoyed the fics! It's been my favourite fandom to (obsessively) take part in, which is probably why I'm not ready to let it go yet lol. I love your take on the broken TARDIS in Unspoken. Not something I actively considered at the time, but you're so right. They were living in a TARDIS shell, there's definitely something horrifying when you say it like that 😅

✨️Love✨️ when the Doctor gets an opportunity/temptation/influence to go a bit darker! You can tell in canon that it's something just below the surface, especially in Ten, and I feel like if he'd had more exposure to the Master his story could have gone a lot differently 👀

I'm always overwhelmed people even consider drawing fanart for my fics, thank you for telling me!! 🥰

And I love Twelve and Missy so much! Our first and only semi-canon confirmation of romance between them. They're also both a close second favourite in terms of versions of the Doctor and Master, for me. I would say, though, I always thought there was an air of... tragedy? That went right through their storyline. Not just the misunderstanding at the end (which to this day I find harrowing as a narrative 😔) but even the fact that Missy was so lonely and desperate to get her friend back that she was willing to change everything about herself? And the Doctor let her?? Demanded it, actually?? I dunno, she was just trying so hard in her own psychotic way, and I think Twelve wanted it to work as well, but he had such a strict and obscure moral code by that point that it all felt a little... doomed 😕

I do love them, I promise, I'm just not as good with tragedy as a genre 😅

Thank you again for the message! 😘

#doctor/master #doctor who #tensimm #twissy #verayne answers

14 notes · View notes

sothischickshe · 2 years

Note

3, 7, 14 for the happy asks!! 💕💕

😘😘😘

3. Have you received any bookmark notes? Which is your favourite and why?

I have 🥰🥰🥰

So I think maybe the ones on the cr*ck fics are my faves bc they're sooo niche (though this might also be recency bias 🙈😜)

(As an aside, I've been getting some rude/passive aggressive ones, not sure if it’s troll behaviour or a result of ppl not realising these are public, but, while those def weren't my faves ha, I was kinda amused by how unbothered I was 😂)

7. What do you love most about being a fic writer for your fandom?

Mm, MOST is hard... maybe a tie btwn: i. how compelling AND frustrating the source material is (much to mine!!!) & ii. the company -- ive def found it v welcoming & indeed was inspired to write/share in part by authors’ notes encouraging ppl to do so <3

14. Share a snippet.

Ha okay:

Rosa’d always been fond of pinching -- at his cheeks; the insides of his elbows -- while telling him he was going wan. Else wasting away. Encouraging him outside: to sun, to run, to familial fun.

With one relative in particular.

Maybe she long possessed inklings. Or maybe she simply wanted them twined together. The way grandma got that far away expression talking about her own sister, it’d been obvious, even back into earliest days, that she could be gripped by that nameless hovering cloud rio'd eventually come to shorthand as grief, and--

His head shakes, as if from a loose vice.

Well, he always wanted her to be -- cheered.

So he went along with it. Those claims of hers to his and Nick’s similarities, surface and otherwise. Though maybe, he contends with a snort, some of those were actually wailing cries for ophthalmological help.

Cos there’s an ironic refrain slipping through memories, as if it's fluttering against pages of the books featuring there: what words she’d snap when catching him with a clunky flashlight under the covers past bedtime.

Perhaps the line between hypocrisy and insight must always be a wobbly one.

It's not that they much shared tastes in the realm of reading. Oh, he'd tried at her mysteries, first petulantly powered by the decree they were maturer than he, but still mostly found those stories dull at best.

No, he was drawn to the ones with magic. And adventure! Where all wasn’t what it seemed, and simplest -- banal, everyday -- explanations could be countered, possibly overturned. Attracted to the notion that cheat codes of a more exciting (miraculous, even) life were scattered; ripened for the take. The memories make him squirm internally for how hopelessly cliché such a preference seems now, little beyond an innocent yearning for: better.

Believing, fingers crossed, that a person could step sideways, through some foggy firmament and just... Something. Twist all on its head, or at least unhaze one’s own to find the clarion truth of the world. He’d known, or no. That's over-strong. Had felt though, with desperate triumph, there was -- more.

Not solely in general; but for himself.

Once upon a ways back, widest-sensed, he’d kept a near-constant antenna out for clocks striking thirteen, for hidden passages, and the true shape to stuff in the shadows, cos -- cos he thought there’d be answers.

And -- it was useful in its way, rio insists inward, jaw clicking.

That's what got him watching. For the weird. The underground. The -- portals, really.

Watching to wanting was barely a leap. Opportunity sung at a pitch his marrow vibrated to.

He found those routes hungered over then, ultimately. Might be now leaning onto a wooden surface with lightly aching shoulders, but he ain't stuck behind a desk, nor out continually backbreaking. Sure the course was twisted, via exuberant arrogance and with blind trust biting its lessons, but maybe, charitably... That is simply how it had to go.

Rio sighs and focuses hard on focusing, making an effort to preclude his reality from fracturing outward that way it’s liked to, circling on ancient recollections which untether further -- drowning him in past problems and neat notions which oughta be far journeyed beyond by now. His eyes fix on the dirty wooden frame as he attempts to prevent the further skirting of his thoughts, as well as sights.

Next those are skipping over the dusty mirror’s surface, flashes splintering in between each slow yet dartish blink.

Don't worry be happy

#Fanfiction #Writing #Fandom #Faves questions are immoral #I would petulantly like to be able to block ppl who leave anything bookmark comments 🤪😈#It's just like if someone left a normal comment saying I don't like x stylistic choice #I could reply saying: I didn't ask 😂#But there's no way to do so with a bookmark one so I would like to display my disgruntlement 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️#I also would like to be able to edit this snippet in my drafts without being yanked to the top of said drafts after saving #How am I to play with commas to semi colons and vice versa in this sitch!!! 🙄🙄🙄🙄#Something #🪞#🪞🪞🪞#Anyway ty 😘😘#Taps roof of fic this can fit so many headcanons etc etc etc etc etc etc #*annoying not anything #Ffs autocorrect #Feedback

15 notes · View notes

fr3akinthecorner · 5 months

Text

It's the chinese choo choo chain daddy cypress do you have suicidal Ashley ready to play anime games? Her keyboard will make her kind of slow daddy cypress she has used this icon before what does this girl know about suicidal Ashley? Go on girl I don't know anything other than something about skateboards sir and sorry I'm om the phone if I respond without haste why is my daughter of love talking to u? And using ur photograph? Again? Let's ask her dadddy cypress ok girl hi daddy cypress I love you so much I'm using her photo bc I think it is a cute one and interesting god you scared me suicidal Ashley but we really mustn't meet this way the chinese choo choo chain disagrees it is coded to perfection for her to talk to you in an anime game first before a love letter to know you're true feelings and so you can't lie to her fuck u bitch! What am I supposed to do now? You can love me I do love u but it was fun lying to u but I can never change the chinese choo choo train so we're all stuck here talking on tumblr hey suicidal Ashley are u getting higher u should be? Sort of ok well you should don't do that to me I am not joke I believe u daddy ok bitch what are u going to talk about with your friend? Hurry along hey friend I felt so down jn the dumps last night everyone played a joke on me that my father chested on me with a Japanese woman and then I had no one to talk to or nothing to write about kinda like not fucj I didn't mean that hey you're gonna be fine with your daddy cypress bc he does love u but it's really sexy isn't it? Think about that I do and try but it still hurts my feelings that he wants to lie to me snd now i have to post this why now? We just got started talking you're boring I didn't say right now oh ok so your daddy cypress has to figure u out? That is so fucking sexy snd I can do it perfectly everything ask ur friend something do u party s lot? Yes I'm always at parties don't worry doll u don't need them it's daddy cypress yes she fucking does for me. To follow her around at the party like literally drink your coffee and unstretch your legs bitch soon you're gonna go outside and smoke and think about fucking daddy cypress I'm listening to your shitty playlist I'm just joking doll it's good and I read everything... your little chinese choo choo train is so fucking cute! Thank u! Now I am allowed to be cute! Why is she so excited daddy cypress? I have no idea let's ask her chinese choo choo train why the he'll are u so excited? Because of the codes on her laptop sir her keyboard coded from you and love is war they were coded to perfection it is that simple and now let's let her use them! No way! Not yet! Her wattpad codes haven't even come in yet you're giving this girl such a hard time just tell her well... your codes are here it's your chinese choo choo train and yes they work as well as tumblr does so go talk to Chris angel insider right now! On any writing app! Maybe its not wattpad only! Simply explore

#writing

0 notes

bredforloyalty · 1 year

Note

hi, im the anon from like a couple days ago. srry that im just clogging up ur inbox widhd but i dont rlly have anywhere else 2 talk abt it. ive just been privately indulging in my like.. Weird Thoughts which is nice but god it would be so neat to just be able to talk abt them w someone else ?? and like. im sure theres someone online i can ramble abt it to but i dont know where to look and considering these r like. pretty Freakish thoughts and concepts i also run into the chance of maybe coming across like actually malicious ppl so thats discouraging me from looking too. i dont know. its just a struggle sometimes. u can absolutely feel free to ignore bc im just rattling along but yea 😭

do you think its okay if i write dark/mature stories abt teenagers set in high school? like in the style of ginger snaps. im a teenager myself and ive been rotating this plotline in my head that involves themes like murder/sex/drug use/etc. and all my main characters are my age. im just worried that once i become an adult and actually write it maybe people might think im being weird towards teenagers ?? i dont know. just been thinking abt this a lot

oh my god anon i totally forgot to answer those other asks from a few days back.... SO SORRY ABOUT THAT i relate i feel you but most importantly, you can message me!!! if you'll make do with lil old me lol but if you're talking more generally about just messaging anyone, i get that too... it's uhm it's weird internal struggles most of the time, for some of us, when you're like uh, like this 😔

and about writing, let me just preface this by saying that i'm not a writer and i'm not very wise and i'm not an authority on this, i know everyone knew but i wanted to emphasize lol. so yeah i appreciate that you asked me and i think whatever you think is appropriate for you to write is appropriate! what you feel is right is right, believe in your ability to tell what's correct morally and what's not and to tell what fits your story best and have the courage to write what you really want to write :)

there's stuff like abuse and power dynamics that i'd love if people treated with care, like when deciding how to portay it, but even with those it's like, i don't believe viewing a fucked up dynamic through rose-colored glasses is harmful in itself... or that it can't be very touching art if it's not spelled out clearly that this is an unhealthy unbalanced relationship, and for survivors especially or people who are intimately familiar with fucked up, i think.. what am i saying. i KNOW the ""romanticization"" angle can affect survivors deeply, in a catharsis way and not a re-traumatized way i mean hxsgcy so that has real merit in fiction in my opinion

you know how they say great art disturbs the comfortable and comforts the disturbed or smth like that? i know it's hard and sticking by your own moral code (that might go against social norms) has to be learned and practiced, and the backlash that comes with challenging taboos is never exactly a walk on the beach but i encourage you to go for it and try to forget about what certain people will think! there will be stupid malicious interpretations always but you're not writing for those people, you're writing for the people that Do get it!! who will get it, when they read it, for those that see you and understand

anyway yes you're not clogging up my inbox and my dms are open, feel free to hop in there if you want to talk to someone and be certain you're not going to be judged💓💓💓

#like i prommy.... no instant judgment or condemnation of anything you're thinking of writing or anything you've been thinking about #you're definitely not alone #ask

0 notes

princesscatstronaut · 1 year

Text

at the office but need something to hug

at the office. its nice to have a clean desk. although someone took/disposed of the amazon box I was using as a laptop riser which is a bummer. I still have a nice big second monitor though, so its ok. I had tea (raspberry hibiscus) and lunch (easy mac) and I guess I need to get to work now, so I'll have something to show for lab meeting in 2 hours. I started the day with resetting all of my autopay stuff since my old account got hacked. I hope I got everything. all of the alerts about things trying to pull from the old account are getting old. I think I got them all.

I wish I had a stuffed animal to hug. I think in my next trip to the office I'll bring one. maybe the sea bunny. or the llama. either way it would be nice to have something when I'm coding bc sometimes its scary and I need to soothe child-me from the fear of being completely wrong.

I really just don't want to do anything. I had to email old-boss to tell him that the draft won't be ready, and had to email the dept admin too, since she asked. and those are not fun emails to write. old-boss doesn't seem to care, which is fine. but I feel like garbage bc I feel like everyone is saying "why aren't you done yet?" but like, you try working on something that gives you panic attacks while also working 40 hrs a week in a slightly different field where you have to learn new things all the time. like its not easy. I'm not having fun. well on the weekends I do, bc that's when I get to play video games and not feel bad about it. I still play during the week (bc stardew valley) but I feel much more shitty about myself then.

I got a lot of positive feedback about my work over the thanksgiving break and it was so nice. I wasn't even trying that hard. there's so much I could do with my time and instead I listen to Ethersea again and play stardew valley. at least I haven't started a new stardew valley game, that tends to be the indication that I'm not ok. this was just continuing the one I have going.

in Ethersea, Devo/Travis' voice breaks my heart. his character is someone who was raised by people who constantly manipulated him and so he is constantly attacking others and rarely trusts and I'm just here like.. yeah, same. and from his other characters, you can kind of tell that Devo is a different thing. also: it shows you can be terrifying with a french accent lol.

I've been listening to The Adventure Zone bc its a family playing a game where anything is possible. you literally fight dragons. I don't think my parents would ever do that. the fact that their dad plays and tries really hard to be the character he's playing and I love that. I wish my parents cared that much about something I wanted to do.

Today is the observation of St. Nicholas Day (in my family we call it Belsnickel Day, which is just the old german way to say it), which is a holiday lots of european countries celebrate, where on Dec 5th you put your shoes out and the next morning (today) you get a little treat if you are good, or a bundle of sticks if you're not (from krampus). my godmother has always gotten me Belsnickel day presents, even though I'm 42 now. she's so kind to me.

ever since I emailed mom about not wanting to come home for xmas (bc the aunt's house we do it at, I don't feel comfortable around them), I haven't heard anything at all from her. which is weird. in my email I had offered to host them on xmas day (family xmas is always on xmas eve), but since I haven't heard anything, I likely won't be prepared for that. and I think mom might be mad at me. not that we talk all the time, but it does seem like she would've responded by now. another possibility is that gramma isn't doing well (she's 100 so needless to say, her health is precarious and mom is her primary caretaker outside of the nursing home).

but yeah. I feel weird. I feel empty. I feel like garbage that I couldn't get my thesis edits done before this deadline. honestly it took so much to get myself to complete the analysis (which is mostly done, just a little more to do), that it took days to recover after each time I was able to engage with it. and, as my therapist keeps reminding me, I am working full-time now. but I guess I still expected I could do it faster than this. I will get it done. hopefully over the winter break I'll have more time. there's a lot I want to do then. new-boss has this really great boundary that she told our clients not to expect much from us after mid-Dec. all my years in academia are screaming at that lol but I'm so thankful that she has that sort of view point. I will learn a lot about having boundaries professionally from her, I think.

0 notes

tofumedic · 3 years

Text

general relationship hcs with the brothers!!

summary// how i interpret how they love you(gn! mc)

Lucifer

he gets softer, he tries not to show it in public or anywhere with peeping brothers trying to get dirt on his image

but he unwinds, theres tension in his shoulders and stance completely but you look at him and he just goes "ah. nice."

he definitely covers it up by correcting his posture and with a small cough but satan just gives him a look

he holds less venom until the problem children of the house make new big trouble

he requests you to join him in his study only when hes certain that you aren't busy or dealing with RAD work he feels bad interrupting

is secretly proud of himself for not bothering you

anyways likes inviting you to listen to his records with him and if you ask or are feeling bad will let you pick one of the records he bought you

if you have a favorite of his own he will play it consistently he memorizes the grooves of that vinyl

he hums it to get your attention just to catch your eyes y'know? small things like that keep him going until he's not as busy

Mammon

he's always at your rescue, trying to be close by like a support dog he wants to make sure youre feeling okay

loves answering questions for you but plays it off as an annoyance he wants you to not think he's as dumb as his brothers say

leaves little pieces of himself with you, jackets of his in your room, has a copy of his bathroom stuff sharing counter and shower space with yours

he doesn't mean to in a bad way but he snoops, looking for a shirt that would look totally super good on him why would you own whats clearly his huh? just wants to be reminded of you

he takes in as much as he can, his eyes dart over everything in your room learning its place for different items, piecing together how things are you

it affects his greed bc now he picks up stuff that reminds him of you even simple stuff like you mentioned you needed a shelf? -oh god be damned he bought a set of them in your favorite color because they were on his mind

learns your mannerisms, has a major thing about mirroring you. he even starts laughing a bit more like you when your gone like he's filling your space

Leviathan

MC would you pretty please match icons with me *the pointy finger emotes*

adores finding characters that act like you and ones that act like him, it makes him ship pairings he may have not cared for previously bc subconsciously... those are you two

he would change your contact to henry with one of the cute face emoticons and some hearts but if someone like his brothers see it and mention it its just "mc normie 🧍‍♂️" for like a week during his recovery

he just wants to share what he likes with you!!!

he gets trusting with you believing you're safe to know about his interests and will info dump to you about his hyperfixations

and he equally wants to know about yours even if he already knows he will ask you questions to get you to share more and it makes him so happy he just melts at hearing you happy

and the fact it's just a special thing between you two? he's over the moon its such a flex that when his brothers try to steal you away they are too confused like you two are talking in code

Satan

he loves sharing space with you

as in he likes your company but he also likes that he can still read while you do something else because he gets to enjoy you and his studies of the moment

even if he doesn't share them depending on if he's ready to if it's really personal or for an event, he will write about you

sometimes they're poems, usually free-form unless hes feeling in a certain mood mainly so he doesn't have to worry about not using words he feels suit you but don't fit his rhythm scheme. sometimes they're full stories just rushed writings until he's not as full of love that its so overwhelming

this means its rushed with pen smearing from his hand having rested on the paper, words slanted and becoming cursive in order for his speed to be faster, he always writes in one sitting or will lose the motivation but its always based on you and how he feels about you that are his best pieces

you're his muse and shows it in how even if he's less physically attentive he does start to push into your small affections like holding his face or holding his hand, he leans into you like a cat taking a nap in the sun

Asmodeus

he asks you for your favorite kinds of affection, your least favorites, requests you all time, he wants to make you the most pleased the most comfortable so you enjoy the attention as much as he does

he also likes matching with you but in the way of clothes or doing your hair to match his or making kandi bracelets that have each other names or him wearing lipstick and you wearing a colored kiss pressed in sweet visible places. anywhere on your face is free game

he's a spot thief if anyone leaves you alone for a moment he's soaking up the attention, a hard believer of finders keepers. he likes filling spots he wants to help you feel complete, he wants to be there for you

real full love is hard for him, it's hard to believe in but after forming the pact he comes to terms that it's not just infatuation

talks with him will become more personal and deep instead talking about his brothers or just gossip to keep you updated though you of course still get it but its not a shield anymore if he's gonna be... bare with you he will do it fully

he starts saving objects like glass drink bottles or tickets or receipts from cute cafes, he loves photos especially of you but also of date scenery, of you with him even if its just your hands or your legs pressed against his while sitting. he likes the proof that you're real that you like him for real

Beelzebub

he makes sure you eat but only if you want to! humans eat so little are you sure you don't want dessert with him? you can share he can get an extra spoon

he tries to keep you safe even from yourself, he might be a little slow but he learns your tells if you give him time you chased off his nightmares so he has to do the same you deserve it

he enjoys simple intimacy like hugs and holding hands and stuff like that just for reminders but he also likes bumping into you just lightly he doesn't want you to fall but if you take an extra step after he has a small smile, rubbing against you with his head if his mouth is full or if talking is tough

will add some of your favorite foods to a list of his favorites because you're his favorite! he will also recommend stuff close to your favorites he looks out for them

he's another that enjoys your company going to you or a space thats full of you like your room just makes him feel more at ease, it's not uncommon for him to subconsciously just follow a few feet behind you while you're moving around

(this also leads to a slower set of footsteps following at an even further distance, its belphie following his mobile heating pads for sleeping if he could be bothered enough)

Belphegor

he's your new weighted blanket and youre the pillow it's a whole set, his complaints light hearted about his pillow moving so much when you give him small head pets

he includes you in schemes with satan deciding not to hide the truth like you again originally trying to make up his apology through his actions

he's very smart! he's fast on learning on how you're feeling depending on your body language or if he put his elbow in a bad spot while laying down

now know when asmo said that he(belphie) has the greatest smile you get that for free! sometimes you do have to pay the toll in naps or just pillowing him or doing something to make beel smile

his love is his trust, it's your trust, its proving himself not only to you but to his brothers and himself. you deserve the best and so he has to be that. his love is learning thats he's already earned yours in his regret and his growth

387 notes · View notes