#then so can their men

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

#warm up #writeblr #this one has bothered me for a bit #any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime #hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying #as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing #like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts #why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge #''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it #ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace #if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!! #men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible #ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing #the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....

[poolboyservice]

"terfs like trans men!" "trans men don't have to worry about terfs!"

Oh I'm sorry wasn't there a big thing throughout 2020-2022 where everyone was all like "little girls are mutilating their bodies!", "what happened to our lesbians!?", "scared women are pretending to be men.", and so on? Wasn't there a literal book that talked about trans men, talking about them as if they were innocent girls who were lied to and thus were destroying themselves because of it, saying how we needed to 'save them from the hypnotization!"? Weren't there numerous bloggers/youtubers who made commentary videos in reaction to Elliot Page coming out, and proceeded to rant and rave how we are losing such beautiful women and lesbians to the "transgender agena"? What about the time where it was trending to fakeclaim trans people, whom most of the targets of this were trans men? How about when people called trans men 'dykes' because "well they're not actual men, they're just confused lesbians!"?

Do I need to add more, or do you guys understand?

#if you genuinely think trans men are better off or that they aren't even oppressed I want you off my page #trans men can and DO experience transphobia and I'm so tired of people saying they don't #dont get me started on the erasure of just about everything I told you in this post #transphobia #transandrophobia #trans men #trans #franky posts

[chick-it-out]

#flockintogether #art #chart #chicken #trans #thanks for keepin it real fellas #you can do anything you are so skrong #i appreciate u thabk u thank u #upstanding men

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

"oh please everyone has gay thoughts sometimes" so what i'm hearing is that heteronormativity is so ingrained that a significant percentage of the population regularly experiences bisexual attraction? but dismisses it as something that all straight people experience? this is so concerning are you guys okay

#'lol women/men are so hot it's a shame i'm straight' buddy i got news for you #gimme a B! and an I! and a PHO! and a BIA!!! #look hon you can be more frequently and strongly attracted to one gender and still experience meaningful attraction to other genders #you can have a strong preference without that erasing other facets of your sexuality #a bunch of people experience bisexual attraction while still having a preference for a certain gender #and guess what! those are still bisexual experiences! #congratulations human sexuality is rich and varied and frequently evolving isn't it wonderful isn't it grand

[loveexpelrevolt]

You light up everything you touch, but never me.

GAMBIT & ROGUE + parallels X-Men '97 | "Remember It"

#gambit x rogue #rogue x gambit #x men 97 #x men 97 spoilers #xmen97edit #xmenedit #marveledit #animationedit #cartoonedit #tvedit #userrobin #userninz #useranimusvox #userstream #dailyflicks #cinemapix #xmen 97 #x-men #romy #daniedits #god the foreshadowing that she literally can't feel his heartbeat 😭 😭 😭 #and she can finally touch him but at what cost?? #writers I am under your bed I am in your fcking walls #genuinely so ill over this #parallels

[art-of-the-maiden]

in which gangle causes psychic damage to the entire cast

#you can see me getting progressively lazier throughout the comic #i love caine. so much #but he’s such a pain in the ass to draw #this is canon btw #bubble told me itself #this is also the first time i’ve drawn any character other than caine and kinger #my gay old men <3 #pomni isn’t in the last picture bc she’s too short #tadc fanart #tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc caine #tadc zooble #tadc jax #tadc gangle #tadc ragatha #traditional art #comic #doodles #art

[cassianandfenrysaremyboyos]

Honestly so hot of Rogue to bridal carry Gambit

#x men #xmen #rogue #gambit #romy #rogue x gambit #remy lebeau #anna marie lebeau #the role reversal: hot! how strong rogue is: also hot! #i mean i know she can fling around trucks and stuff so carrying a person is nothing to her but still her carrying her man is hot

[himbionn]

Doodles of the boy(s) cause I adore them so 🩷💙

(Fullscreen version of the screenshot redraw below!)

#x men 97 #gambit #nightcrawler #remy lebeau #kurt wagner #x men the animated series #x men fanart #Gambit in a crop top makes me salivate #his hair is fucking HORRID #but i can fix it nw #a small price #for those hips #also #i cant be the only one who imagines kurt with fur right? #for some reason im like- convinced #so i did it #cause he give cat vibes #and i do what i WANT #theyre besties #in religious truama #i said so #my art

[mizandria]

so the occurrence that almost every woman was sexually harrassed by a man at some point in her life is just a cluster of a few individual experiences that you cannot formulate any general conclusions based on BUT a few reddit porn addicted losers not having a girlfriend assigned to them as soon as they're born or being rejected by three girls in middle school is a world scale epidemic that gets its own name, psychologists and media and useless video essayists devoted to finding out what its causes are and to figuring out how to solve it, and every woman is now responsible for solving it. i love living in this world i am totally not chewing on my arm right now!

#you can generalize or not. it only depends on whether men profit from it #last or like second to last post about male loneliness i promise <3 #moids are getting so boring about it anyway it's just that this cowboy guy from last night pissed me off #he kind of cleared andrew tate thought so i've decided i'm not making him my no. 1 enemy #radblr #radical feminists do interact

[katabay]

ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS A KNIGHT...

the visual inspiration for this was a combination of Frederic William Burton's Meeting on the Turret Stairs and also Bernardo Cavallino's The vision of St. Dominic receiving the Rosary from the Virgin

this was supposed to be just a one off illustration to get the thoughts out of my system, but then I started thinking about medieval politics and warfare and plagues and a castle and home as both a place of refuge, a prison, and a tomb, so perhaps they will end up as ex voto characters as well.

you may say, hey! that rosary looks like it has too many beads! it's a fifteen decade rosary, probably. dominicans are really into marian devotions. it works out.

also. spiral style stair cases. oh boy. it was that unexpectedly more difficult than I originally thought it would be to draw. the more I think about it, the less I understand them, even though I had a million photos of the stairs in front of me while I was drawing it.

⭐ I have a tip jar (ko-fi)!

⭐ and other places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app

#the economy and my bank account are in shambles and i ended up stress drawing this whole thing in one go #its so many lines. the next time i draw this. because i will be revisiting this composition. i want to use a different inking brush #i think. but the next time i draw this it will be with solid blacks on the stair case steps i think #hey here's a fun fact for those of you who aren't catholic. did you know that kissing the ring of the pope/a cardinal/etc #grants you an indulgence. cardinals also used to kiss the pope on the mouth. also foot and hand iirc. anyway #there are no cardinals in this drawing but im saying if you write medieval/renaissance smut about men of the cloth #you can really amp up the friction between holy and seductive with a lot of the (gestures vaguely) that. #actually another fun fact about cardinals. their fun sun hat (it's called a galero) has some fucking weird as hell fever dream (literally) #origin lore. so if seductive isn't your thing. the horror of a thing that you wear is also extremely fun #esp when you get into medieval gender performances of clothes and how they define a person etc #generic medieval tag #original tag

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

#spilled ink #warm up #can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically #i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason #it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism. #and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out #we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you. #this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism #where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off. #your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell #at the industry - you are probably not listening . #anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit #but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance #> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally #> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field #> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :) #(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice #i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what. #cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men. #so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT. #instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them. #which btw. is like. actual feminism.)

[chaoticvictorianspirit]

I love all the acting choices David and Micheal made for their characters but one I'm especially obsessed with (and frankly I don't see it being talked about enough) is the body language/posture.

David took one look at Crowley and decided this boy is Bouncy™. He has cooked spaghetti for bones. Ninety percent of his walking is done by his shoulders actually. He might be man-shaped but he's actually a liquid constantly changing form to fully fill the container (chair) he's in.

Meanwhile Michael went - We'll he's an angel, of course he's prim and proper and carefully put-together. He has the posture and grace of a classically trained dancer. There is also One Million Bees under his skin at any given moment.

And they were so right.

#seriously how is david tennant a human man so good at portraying what a snake would move like if it had limbs and walked upright #like. you just look at him and **know** that is a lil snek guy. he slithers. he saunters on his two human legs and looks like a serpent. how #and micheal can shuffle through the whole spectrum of emotion know to man in 30 seconds flat with just his eyes. these men are INSANE. #good omens #gomens #david tennant #micheal sheen #crowley #aziraphale

[sarasade]

One of the most generally useful things to come out of Hbomberguy's plagiarism video and Todd in the Shadows' similar video on misinformation is how they bring transparency to the internet phenomenon of "I made up a guy to get mad at".

Seriously, I've seen people make up a lot of stupid shit on the internet over the years and it's often just a manipulative attempt to paint a group of marginalized people in a bad light.

That's the TL;DR version of this post. 

ANYWAY here is the long version

Those videos are mostly about James Somerton's plagiarism of other queer people's work. However I'd like to talk about that 20-30% of Somerton's original writing- and oh boy. It's mostly about complaining about White Straight Women and misgendering well-known trans creators such as Rebecca Sugar and calling Becky Albertalli a straight woman while it's pretty common knowledge that she was forced to out herself as bi because she received so much harassment over "being a cishet woman who appropriates LGBT+ stories".

One thing that irks me especially is how in his Killing Stalking and Gay Shipping videos Somerton brings up how straight women/ teen girl shippers exploit gay men for their personal sexual fantasies. This gets brought up several times in his videos.

Being all up and arms about Somerton being a "White Cis Gay Who Hates Women and Queer People tm" is not that useful because the kind of rhetoric he's using is extremely common in fandom and LGBT+ spaces on Tumblr, TikTok and Twitter. We really don't need to bring Somerton's identity to this since he is in no way an unique example.

It's hypocritical to make this about an individual person when I've seen A TON of posts, tweets and videos where queer people talk about these Sinister Straight Women who are supposedly out there fetishizing and exploiting queer men. It's pretty clear to me that this is just an excuse to shit on women and queer people for having any sexual interests. At worst these comments are spreading misinformation about BL, a form of media that has been excessively studied by both Asian feminists and Asian queer women.

This all sounds really familiar and I think it's good that people are calling it out as what it is: misogyny and transphobia. I'd also point out the potentially racist motives behind being this hypervigilant about Asian media.

People can absolutely be misogynist regardless of gender or orientation. I really don't know why we need to create some kind of made up enemy to get mad at. I actually think it's almost sinister how "anti-fujoshi" people call Slash shippers and fujoshi misogynists or claim that they have internalised misogyny while being dismissive about women's interests and creative pursuits under Japanese obscenity laws, China's censorship, book bans in American schools and various other disadvances that are part of being a queer and/or female creator.

I think we shouldn't be naive about the bad faith actors who want to turn queer people against each other. For example Fujoshi.info mentions anti-gender (TERF, GC etc) movement using this kind of rhetoric as well.

Anyway if you want to read more:

- about the false info around BL fandom fujoshi.info

-There is the scholar Thomas Baudinette who studies gay media in Japan. Here is a podcast with him and the scholar Khursten Santos

-James Welker is a BL scholar as well. Here is a podcast interview about the new international BL article collection he edited.

-I've already talked about this Youtube channel by KrisPNatz and his great Killing Stalking video that actually engages with the themes of the manhwa

- There is also HR Coleman's thesis DO NOT FEED THE FETISHIZERS: BOYS LOVE FANS RESISTANCE AND CHALLENGE OF PERCEIVED REPUTATION where she interviews 36 BL fans and actually breaks down why fetishization has become such a huge talking point in the fandom discourse. Spoilers, it's mostly about young queer people and women being worried that they will get judged and pathologized for their interest in anything sexual.

-Great podcast about Danmei and censorship with Liang Ge

#Also I don't mean that you can always tell if someone is a transphobe or a TERF based on a couple of things they have said. #My point is that sometimes ok people can have very regressive ideas too. #This is not a call out post about how we should go around accusing anti-fujoshi people #todd in the shadows #hbomberguy #sarasade text #even I've got those “Fandom is mostly straight women fetishizing gay men” comments once and it begins to sound kind of passive-aggressive #when you're a bi woman. Lot of fandom stats at AO3 show that fandoms are montly bi women. who are these people calling straight exactly hmm #also straight women are completely ok leave them alone. I know I know Yes I'm so brave for saying this #cw: transphobia

[dearest-alexander]

THERE WAS ONLY ONE CHAIR because presumably, the queen doesn't understand Eric's fascination & servants keep away out of respect for him. So, there's no use having chairs around since nobody hangs out with him here. The implication that he must've felt alone for years until, well, her. They're twin souls. I'm gonna sob in the corner real quick.

AND

This should not be applauded, but that mofo knelt on the floor afternoon 'till evening so she can sit (or not, she might be sitting on a box here) on the only comfortable seat in his library. like a fucking gentleman. 

A prince on his knees, literally and figuratively. gddamn it, disney.

#he was so excited to teach her im dying it's not funny anymore #can you tell men haven't been good to me??? #like fuuuuuuu #it was the bare minimum #yet i still lost my mind #little mermaid #the little mermaid #tlm spoilers #prince eric #ariel #ariel and eric #halle bailey #jonah hauer king #disney

[mwagneto]

it's so fucking funny how every single person on earth who has a beatles haircut looks like a beatles member EXCEPT the 4 people they got to play the beatles in doctor who

#HOW DID THEY GET THE MOST NON-BEATLE LOOKING MEN EVER PLEEEASE #like im super faceblind so i never know which beatle is which anyway but even i can tell these dont look like them #doctor who #dw lb #dw spoilers

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

Vox has terrible taste in men. Like between Alastor, a canabalistic serial killer with the worst haircut I've ever seen who is both aroace & so emotionally constipated and egotistical that he can't even FRIENDZONE you because that'd be showing weakness, and Valentino, a fucking serial abuser/rapist who is so fucking stupid and bull-headed that you have to scream in his face to make him listen and even then only understands what you're trying to tell him after you've gone through a step by step process of the most basic ideas, that man can NOT catch a break dear god-

His taste in women is pretty good tho Velvette's great :)

#truly the bisexual experience fr #taste ranging from The Worst Men You Can Find to hot woman who is probably out of your league #(I feel the need to add Im biroace so like. can confirm. #the only decent guy Ive ever had anything resembling a crush on is like. Ozzie Helluva Boss-) #*ahem* anyway- #hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #hazbin alastor #staticradio #radiostatic #hazbin valentino #staticmoth #hazbin velvette #voxvel #staticdoll #late night ramblings