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unforth · 3 years

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What I think a lot of antis misunderstand about the message of someone like me - as someone outspokenly pro-ship and pro-kink is...

Everyone is within their right to want to protect themselves from content that makes them uncomfortable! If you're a minor, and you don't want adults to interact with you? That's a reasonable boundary to set! Boundaries, in general, are usually healthy, appropriate, and even necessary (not always, of course, but most of the time!). Heck, I am pro-basically-everything, but I still set boundaries, and there's lots of content I support the existence of without ever having any desire to interact with myself. Like. Ever. EVER. You do you but I'll be over here, having nothing to do with it, thanks. I'm anti-censorship, and pro-fiction-is-fiction, period.

So, when people like me roll our eyes and go, "God, why are all these people making ridiculous DNIs? Don't they know how pointless this is?" we're not saying "Don't set boundaries."

You absolutely should set boundaries, for your mental health, comfort, and protection.

We're saying - okay, well, maybe I shouldn't speak for everyone - but, I'm saying, "why are people who only feel comfortable within such narrow boundaries on a website like Tumblr?"

This is the fucking anti-boundaries website! It has reblogging functions you CAN'T TURN OFF. The instant your post leaves your blog? You lose all control over it! Even if you delete the original, you can NEVER get rid of those reblogs! So if you don't want certain types of people interacting with you? Short of hard-wiring that information into the very nature of the post (like, as an enormous watermark that covers your entire piece of artwork) you will never, on Tumblr, be able to set your boundaries, enforce those boundaries, and have them respected.

It's impossible, and it's not because everyone on Tumblr is selfish, or mean, or disrespecting you personally. It has absolutely nothing to do with you! The vast majority of Tumblr users see something they like - and like it for any of a million or more different reasons - and then reblog it without every considering the existence of the original poster beyond MAYBE noticing their username at the top of the post.

They won't check your DNI.

They won't know your squicks.

They won't remember your triggers.

Tumblr is not, nor will it ever be, a safe space.

You cannot, and will never be able to, control the behavior of the Tumblr userbase in the interest of protecting your own personal limits.

It is impossible to set and maintain personal boundaries on Tumblr.

People who say, "god, why do people have these DNIs" aren't saying, "you should be comfortable with everything and if you're not how DARE you," we're saying, "there is a fundamental mis-match between your desire to set boundaries, on the one hand, and the social media platform you've chosen, on the other."

There ARE platforms where it's possible to set boundaries. Discord, Pillowfort, Wordpress, even Facebook, have more functionality for any given individual regulating who interacts with created content and how they can interact.

THIS IS NOT THAT PLATFORM.

If you want to be able to strictly police your boundaries, you are in the wrong fucking place. Anything you post on here, could, at any time, wildly escape containment, get taken entirely out of context, end up on the blog of a domme, or a furry, or a parent, or your grandmother, or, or, or.

If you want to have strict control of your content, your blog, and who you interact with?

You should not be on Tumblr.

You are just setting yourself up to get hurt...and then you blame everyone else when it happens, even though the issue is the mis-match caused by your decision to be on a website that is a total free-for all. YOU CHOSE TO BE HERE, and then you get mad...at the people already here...for not conforming to your expectations. That's a YOU problem, not an everyone else problem. It's like you barged into a Pride parade and went, "Wait why are all these queer people here? And why is there a Parade? I'd rather just hang out with my own friends in a much smaller event CALL OF THE PARADE I DON'T LIKE IT." You sound like a child, and an idiot. Congrats, there are clowns at the circus, what a shock! If you didn't want the queers, if you didn't want the clowns, if you didn't want strangers interacting with you, if you wanted to set and maintain boundaries, then you failed the instant you came on Tumblr. Tumblr is not a website designed for this. End of story.

Have safe spaces. Set boundaries. I encourage you. Heck, I beg you. Having places you feel safe and surrounding yourself with people who respect your boundaries is stupidly important, no matter how young or old you are, how vanilla or kink, how anti- or pro-ship. But it cannot be done it here, and the expectation that it CAN is what so often leads people who are actually behaving like bullies to believe themselves to be victims.

So, like, if this describes you? If you want strict boundaries, and to have certain types of people not interact with you?

The best thing you can do is leave Tumblr, and find your communities elsewhere.

I promise, everyone will be happier if you do.

(and before you say, "but all the things I want are also on Tumblr!" it is...so stupidly easy to make a message board, or create a Discord server. I'm not saying don't have fandom spaces that suit you! I'm not saying you don't belong in fandom! On the contrary, PLEASE do things that bring you joy - but do it in a way you're comfortable with! You're entitled! You deserve it! And you will never be able to here! EVER. This is NOT that space, and you and those who feel as you do should create your own. For your OWN safety, first and foremost, because you deserve a space where your boundaries are respected. And you can't here. This website is explicitly designed to prevent bloggers from being able to protect their boundaries! Expecting your boundaries to be expected here is like going to a field of wildflowers and saying, "ONLY queen anne's lace here all other flowers DNI" and being shocked and personally offended when there'sother flowers all over the fucking place. You can't control what flowers are in the field. Tumblr is a field of weeds and they will grow like crazy, everywhere, no matter what you try to do to stop them. Because that's Tumblr's nature. So STOP TRYING. Go somewhere that you CAN prevent that, and tada, you'll be safe!)

#unforth rambles #i saw something that made me salty #and ended up spending 20 minutes writing this instead of doing any of the billion things i should be doing #antis are herbicide in the tumblr wildflower field #if you don't want weeds get out of the meadow #go some place where you actually CAN control the growth #pot a plant #put it by your window #cultivate it and protect it #you'll be happier #and you'll be safer #and so will all the weeds you cut down for absolutely no fucking reason #i'm so tired #ya'll can reblog this is you want #if it leads antis to me then i'll deal #if i'm lucky they'll just block me #if i'm super lucky maybe they'll even fucking listen #and stop expecting rain to be snow #or the wild flowers to stop growing #you came to the circus and shock there are clowns here

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miraculouscontent · 3 years

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Didn’t Need Burrow (May 3rd-May 22nd)

Anonymous said:

Don’t Need Burrow to know that Ladybug’s distrust of Volpina will be played off as though she was simply jealous of her because she thought she was going to steal Adrien/Chat, even though she didn’t like Chat! Oh, but she did, she didn’t know it yet. That’s why she kissed him in Dark Cupid!

Not like she didn’t have a bunch of other reasons to distrust Volpina.

(the show also does this a lot where Marinette has an extra reason on top of “““jealousy,”““ like in “Oni-Chan” where the thing she was concerned about actually ended up happening, but the fandom boils everything down to jealousy anyway)

Anonymous said:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Su Han will take the Miraculouses from all the girls because he thinks girls don’t have the “physical and mental fortitude” to be heroes, giving them tto guys instead. The girls will find out about each others’ identities and join in the battle to get their Miraculouses back without any powers, led by Marinette, despite the fact that the genre of Miraculous Ladybug is supposedly Magical GIRL and thus the girls being powerful should be a given

(there was another part to this but I didn’t get it all so I clipped this ask a bit so it could work alone)

tbh the true ending should just be Marinette and the girls kicking each misogynist to the curb without any powers, and Su-Han goes last.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Luka and Zoe, from their styles and hints like the ice cream Luka holds in Truth and the flower on her shirt.... I'm sure at this point the writers will either send him on a tour with Jagged, or make him Zoe's bf offscreen somehow... Also more torture for Mari mentally :)

Of course. :)

Gotta make sure Marinette doesn’t have any choice but Adrien. :)

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Zoe will be Adrien's new love interest because she's "very sweet". Mari will be okay with it because she feels the Guardian must be alone. (And she's still punishing herself for hurting Luka.) The New-Bee and Chat also bond, making her feel even more alone. (But now Lila can't claim she's jealous and her hold over the class is lessened as Zoe becomes more popular.)

I’m super not here for Marinette punishing herself (and the show possibly presenting it as her “growing up” and “doing the right thing”) and for Ladybug getting jealous over the playboy cat.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Prince Ali/Rose turns out to be endgame, while Rose/Juleka gets Lukanette'd -- their relationship happened mostly off-screen and we only see them pulling apart. Juleka has to let Rose go so she can live out 'every girl's dream', possibly even being put on a bus/written out of the series.

In which the Couffaines aren’t allowed nice things because they’re poor-coded.

Anonymous said:

I can’t believe the Pig’s weapon is ACTUALLY a tambourine. I’ve had that down as my guess for the pig miraculous for ages but I never thought I’d actually be right. On that note - Didn’t Need Burrow: the Ox’s weapon will definitely be a hammer, and the Goat’s might be a shepherd’s crook or grappling hook, and the Rooster’s could be a horn.

Congrats on being right!

We’ll definitely see on the whole weapons things.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: That Rose's mysterious sickness from "Guiltrip" episode will be ignored in other episodes.

Honestly, it was ignored in “Guiltrip” too. Rose’s illness seemed to be related to headaches and then they literally have her headbanging in her transformation.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: After "Guiltrip", the dynamics of Juleka and Rose's relationship will revert to the "romantic standing next to each other somewhere in the background".

Just look at them doing [friendly task]... romantically!!

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Tikki's comments about not really understanding love are later treated as her being in denial about her being in love with Plagg. Because the two of them are 'soulmates' *just like Adrien and Marinette*, and there's no such thing as a PLATONIC bond. Plus, it's denying another feminine-identifying character the right to define and declare her own feelings -- she's not ALLOWED to not love him that way! If she says otherwise, she's either in denial or mistaken! Or both!

[flashbacks to “Animan” where Alya denies feelings for Nino as being “like a brother to her” and then gets together with him at the end of the episode]

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In the upcoming Mr. Pigeon episode, Chat Noir's behaviour toward Mr. Ramier in Lies will not be brought up at all.

Yeah, this is why I knew writing “Lying on the Job” was the right choice. :P The show wasn’t going to do it.

(part of me hopes that this acts as a jinx but I doubt it)

soap-lady said:

Didn't Need Burrow: It will be revealed Adrien always knew about Mari's crush. He tells Plagg it's because not only would rejecting a friend be hard, her akuma would be even scarier than her dad. He later admits at the end of the episode to Plagg that having an "awesome person like Marinette" crushing on him makes him feel good about himself. The show will frame this as charming rather than egotistical.

wow i hate it

throw the whole man away, Marinette

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The "reverse love square" will happen as a result of Adrien being drunk on a love potion/under the control of a spell which makes him fall for Marinette. This will result in Marinette being uncomfortable with Adrien's relentless pursuit of her...AGAIN...which is, of course, played for laughs...AGAIN. Her friends will probably shame her, saying, "why are you so upset? You used to like Adrien and now he's returning that affection! What is WRONG with you, Marinette?". Meanwhile, during battle sequences Chat Noir will be less playful and intrusive of Ladybug's personal space because he's in love with Marinette now and not her, which is good(minus the"in love with Marinette" part, obvs), except that it will cause Ladybug to suddenly fall in love with the new Chat Noir who is being respectful(and "just like Adrien used to act"), and she'll act like a giddy schoolgirl over him, which will be used to humiliate her for comedy as Chat treats her like a freak now. And no, the show will NOT "call him out" for suddenly being averse to the affections of the "girl of his dreams" but will treat him as justified, because guys who pursue girls are gentlemanly and entitled to love back, while girls who pursue guys are pushy and obnoxious. There will even be a lesson on how you shouldn't have to put up with unwanted advances. Chat will be the one to learn it. There will also be a lesson on how you can't force someone to love somebody else. Adrien will be the one to learn it.

Wow, how’d you get the synopsis to Season 5? Impressive! (⊙o⊙)

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat will complain about Ladybug not trusting him, so she tries trusting him with further responsibilities which he then shirks, blows off and whines about. Naturally, Marinette is Wrong for DARING to think that her 'partner' should share more of the burden -- no, she HAS to carry everything herself and enable him to keep treating their duty as a game! It's not FAIR for her to expect anything more from him--!

oh my god

he would *gestures loudly to “Lies”*

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir will *deliberately* mess up a vital task that Ladybug assigned/entrusted him with, either to punish her for some petty/imagined slight (which is treated as Incredibly Serious and Deserving his retaliation) or because he simply doesn't want to have to deal with the extra responsibility. Much like somebody who 'never learns' the right way to load a dishwasher/do laundry/other chores so that somebody more responsible is forced to pick up their slack.

Sounds about right.

“Bonus” if Chat Noir is presented as in the right because Ladybug’s task was “too difficult”/”she didn’t instruct him right”/”you can’t expect him to be perfect on his first try,” or Chat Noir’s shirking is treated as “payback” for something she did that he maybe doesn’t even know about.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette gives up on becoming a fashion designer because her duties as Ladybug/Guardian take priority. Tikki protests not for Mari's sake, but because she enjoys her creative drive/justifies it as a form of honing Marinette's creativity. Thus the lesson is not that Marinette was Wrong because she deserves to have things that make her happy/goals outside of her duties, but because she can fold them into her Greater Purpose.

Miraculous: Tales of Marinette Not Being Allowed to Be Happy

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir will be (temporarily) killed during one of his 'Pity/Praise Me!' stints, because he decides that he can't function without Ladybug kissing his ass and she's too busy fighting the akuma to coddle him. Naturally, this is presented as Marinette's F-Up of the Week that she must fix at all costs and apologize for, insisting once more that she 'can't do this without him' despite being constantly forced to do this without him.

It’s Ladybug’s fault that Chat keeps sacrificing himself, obviously! She’s just not telling him not to in the rIgHt wAy, and she should be

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Ladybug will finally learn the truth about how Theo was akumatized, but Chat Noir will insist that he didn't lie and that she really WAS to blame for it. And anyway, that was 'so long ago' that she's not allowed to be mad over it anymore. (Bonus: this or other episodes will have callbacks showing that Adrien is still salty over things like being 'stood up', with HIS frustration presented as perfectly valid, as there's no expiration date on HER screw-ups.)

[flashbacks to “Stormy Weather 2″ where Plagg retcons Ladybug’s avoidance of Chat’s date as her standing him up]

+ Yeah, I don’t see Adrien not having expiration dates on his mistakes, and his are always for the better (i.e: stealing the book in “Volpina,” which was wrong obviously, and then Marinette covered for him immediately to get him back into school).

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chloe is given a 'redemption arc' after all... in the vein of her falling for Kim or some other male character and being convinced to change her ways for/by them. On top of being grossly sexist, this lets them slam Marinette even more, painting her as a failure who couldn't help Chloe despite that never being her responsibility in the first place.

“Bonus” if it’s Luka who does it.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Rather than confirming Juleka/Rose, CHLOE is officially revealed to be a closeted lesbian, retconning all of her bullying into the tried-and-trite 'They're only tormenting you because they LIIIIIKE you'. Bonus points if this is used to reinforce the notion that Chloe is irredeemable because 'Evil Jilted Lesbian can't be saved by Hetero LI'/she lied about crushing on Adrien/other toxic and heteronormative bullshit. AND her evilness is Mari's fault for not loving her back!

It’s always Marinette’s fault for not loving people back.

Also, this just reminds me of how much I hate the “lesbian bully” trope fdkjgdfgdfg.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir throws another Pity Me Party in the middle of a fight; Ladybug is sniped by the akuma while scolding him to stop fooling around. Naturally, this is presented as HER fault for not immediately accommodating his demands for attention. After saving her, Chat mockingly echoes her words about concentrating and keeping her head in the game.

╰（‵□′）╯

EVERY TIME!!

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chloe gets another chance at redemption by learning how to mimic Adrien/Lila and feign niceness. Whether or not her 'redemption' sticks depends upon her patience level; if she sticks to it and 'grows' into another Lila/holier-than-thou lecturer like Adrien, it's considered good (and Adrien gets full credit for helping her change 'for the better'), but if she goes back to being *openly* judgy and bitchy, it's another sign that she's 'irredeemable'.

Ugh, when Chloe’s options are either to be a Lila or an Adrien. All I feel is disgust.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The Love Square is reversed when Adrien learns Ladybug's secret identity and decides to focus on pursuing her as Marinette. Mari is put off by his advances/still convinced that she can't HAVE a romantic relationship with all her other responsibilities, and is further distracted and concerned by Chat Noir growing distant (as he's bitter over his failures and taking it out on LB/holding a grudge after learning she confided in ALYA and not HIM).

i hate it

And of course the method of “now she’s not interested so I’M interested.”

Anonymous said:

Didnt Need to Burrow: Despite being 'twins' with Juleka, Luka will never show up in another episode. Ever. And the only mentions of him are only about the breakup. Even in Juleka-centric episodes, Luka will only be a passing mention. Oh, and Juleka will 100% stick to just mumbling outside of episodes where shes akumatized. Because gIrL poWeR

I’m honestly just--expecting Luka to have like one/two episodes, maybe to get a charm, and then he’s gone forever.

I don’t know if it’s a mercy or an insult, but the constant mentions of the break-up between Marinette and He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named-Outside-Of-Spiting-Him definitely are an insult.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: "Gigantitan <insert high number>" episode

ANYTHING BUT THAT.

Anonymous said:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Ladybug and Cat Noir will be able to power up in some way, but they have to form a special bond (this is implied to be a romantic bond). They use this power up to defeat Hawk Moth. bEcAusE tHe pOWeR oF “LoVe” cOnQUerS aLL! Bonus if the characters imply that Ladybug should’ve accepted his affections sooner (Adrien won’t be mentioned at all, i wonder why:p)

I’m cringing so hard right now. I hate everything about this because you sound so correct.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: Lila will be written out/ret-conned from a show because she was only a Unredeemed!Chloe stand-in for time of Chloe "redemption arc". Every speculation about Lila (next Hawkmoth etc) will be applied to Chloe instead as a "plot twist".

I’m half-expecting that she’ll get akumatized as a season finale bad guy, then just immediately move.

Anonymous said:

Didn't need Burrow: Alya is the one who comes up with the akuma repellent charms and Marinette is going to be jealous that Alya is so much a better guardian. Alya'll also probably be able to wrangle the kwamis better than Marinette.

Honestly I might as well just put this one on the card right now. :P

Anonymous said:

Didnt Need Burrow: When Ladybug tells Chat that she told somebody her secret identity, hes gonna be mad, talking about how she broke his trust and the show will portray it as her fault for breaking under the pressure of being guardian. Meanwhile the fandom is gonna be mad at Ladybug. Ignoring, of course, the entirety of the New York Special.

We could sum up the fandom card as just, “Adrien is right and a sad uwu sunshine child, Marinette is wrong and OP and doesn’t give Chat the respect he deserves.”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Rose's 'mysterious illness' will naturally flare up during times where Pigella might have been useful, with Ladybug getting blamed for her flare-ups/worsening condition.

BANNED

I HATE IT DX

Anonymous said:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Building off of the “Adrien knows about Marinette’s crush and manipulated her for it”, any time Marinette does something Adrien doesn’t agree with or disagrees with Adrien himself, Adrien will play the cute, naïve, sad boi we all know and “love”, complete with Bambi eyes and gratuitous long eyelashes, forcing Marinette to give in to what he wants. This is treated as cute, quirky, and hilarious, never abusive, selfish, or misogynistic.

I mean, considering Chat Noir and “Chameleon,” yeah.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: a) Episode, where Chat Noir is even worse than in "Lies" b) Situation where Chat Noir during meeting with Ladybug is like always (M'lady, Bugaboo, unwanted psychical contact etc.) then Ladybug reveals that she recognized him as impostor because "real Chat Noir never will be so pushy" (bonus points if false Chat Noir is akumatized Felix) c) Writers somehow manage to put both above options in one episode (obviously with real Chat Noir being even worse than his impostor)

“Copycat” but worse

differenttriumphdragon said:

Didn't Need Burrow to somehow correctly predict Zoe's identity as a joke based solely on some blurry pictures and an offhand comment about "secret siblings". Like, a YEAR or two ago.

I’m guessing this is referring to the writers creating her?

Because yeah, probably.

Anonymous said:

Didn't need the Burrow: We will get Lukagami. One of the reasons will be the clash of the Tsurugi-Motto of "No Second Chances" and Luka's snake power of "Second Chance" resulting in some weird sparks flying.

*puts head into hands and groans loudly* kill meeeee

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: The Multimouse!Mylene's model will be based on the Multimouse!Marinette's model (in the same way that the Rena Rogue's model is based on the Volpina's model)

plz no

plz

Anonymous said:

Didn't need burrow: Guilt trip hints at Adrien having actual depression, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but knowing the show, two things will happen: 1. His depression will only exist to make people feel bad for him instead of exploring his mental state and seeing him working through it, and 2. his depression will be magically cured when the LS becomes canon because "true love heals all your mental issues".

All of the above, yes. :|

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Ladybug gets a fresh new look (for the sake of more Real-Life ML Merch), and Chat Noir gets sulky about it. Both because he didn't get an upgraded appearance at the exact same time (despite doing absolutely nothing to earn it), and because he didn't get any input on her new look. So he passive-aggressively complains about the change, saying he preferred 'classic Bugaboo', and Marinette is presented as Wrong for not letting him dictate her power or appearance.

*stares at “Mr. Pigeon 72″* I’m waiting.

Anonymous said:

Didn't need burrow: Imagine after you made that fic where Bustier and D'argencourt get the miraculous they reveal in the show that Bustier's husband/boyfriend/fiance is D'argencourt.

I WILL DIE.

OF LAUGHTER? OF PAIN???

THE ANSWER IS “YES.”

“Bonus” if it’s a DJWifi dynamic where Bustier can get D’Argencourt to do whatever she wants and suddenly becomes aggressive/upset when he doesn’t, which D’Argencourt immediately folds to (because the only “““girl power”““ the show knows is “lol girls are scary when they’re mad”).

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The Love Square gets 'Reversed' via Alya deciding that Marinette MUST have a crush on Chat as well, since she personally ships LadyNoir. All insistence to the contrary is waved off as denial, and Alya is bound and determined to hook up her BFF with ONE of her crushes, come hell or high water. Thus, Mari gets shoved towards Chat in much the same way she's forced towards Adrien, creating much awkward hilarity at her expense.

Marinette’s entire being: i want to go home

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya learns about Marinette getting jilted by Chat Noir during 'Weredad', possibly from Tom and/or Sabine. She rubs this into Mari's face as proof positive that she really DOES have a thing for Chat, crowing about how she 'does her research' while teasing her about her awful luck with guys. This casual cruelty is 'balanced' by her insistence that she'll help her hook up with ONE of them by forcing her towards both.

Alya, looking at her plans and just shrugging: Hey, now her odds of getting a guy are doubled as far as I’m concerned.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will insist that all of Marinette's romantic woes are her own fault due to her being interested in multiple guys. (Mainly meaning Adrien and Chat Noir; 50-50 on whether she acknowledges Luka's existence as more than just proof of her 'fickle heart'.) She 'supports' her by shoving her into humiliating scenarios with her love interests, blaming all her failures on her 'divided loyalties' and giving her grief for being a 'dirty two-timer' that can't even get off first base.

Yyyyup.

And of course Luka would only be mentioned to shade Marinette.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Tikki will keep nagging Marinette about her inability to solve her romantic woes until Mari snaps that Tikki doesn't know what she's talking about, throwing her own words about how kwami don't understand love back in her face. Naturally, this is Mari's Mistake Of The Week, as Tikki is driven to tears over the rebuke and all the other kwami get pissed off at Marinette for upsetting her, giving her grief until she apologizes. Tikki barely apologizes in return, if at all.

Ugh, I am just dreading an almost-inevitable “all the kwami are mad at Marinette” episode, since Marinette literally cannot escape from them since the Miracle Box is in her room.

Anonymous said:

(Mylene's personality anon) Don't Need a Burrow: Mylene's "Marinette's trait" will manifest in Multimouse!Mylene's introduction episode.

Mylene: Soon, I will have successfully swiped a personality trait from each of my friends to form one of my own.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: Characters who are popular fandom choices for alternate Miraculous Holders (Bee!Aurore, Fox!Lila, Cat!Felix etc) are akumatized into evil versions of Core Five Miraculous Team (Ladybug, Cat, Fox, Turtle and Bee)

Season 2462 finale.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: There will be more immediate self-contradictions, where Marinette is berated about how something she's doing/done is Wrong, badgered into following somebody else's 'good advice', and then promptly punished for doing so when the results blow up in her face. These turnarounds will become so fast that they happen within the same episode. Naturally, this is treated as entirely her fault.

At the rate her treatment is escalating, I would be 0% shocked. Still disappointed, but not shocked.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: It will turn out that the mysterious future Hawkmoth successor that Timetagger talked about is simply the Shadow Moth.

I laughed at this one so hard because it’s so accurate. I don’t know for sure if it’s a reference to the whole “new villain who’s been around since the beginning who just turned out to be Shadow Moth” thing but omg.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The akuma-resisting pendants are used as an excuse to push Marinette even further past her breaking point, subjecting her to ever worse humiliations and traumas. If the fact that she basically NEEDS the pendant to survive is ever brought up, it's in a chiding way; obviously, as Ladybug, she needs to be mentally stronger than this and not rely on a 'crutch'. Nobody else is insulted for needed the pendants' protection.

Imagine the pendants as metaphors for medication and this takes on a whole new meaning.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In a counterpart to "Chat Blanc", one episode visits a Bad Future where Marinette was akumatized. Naturally, this is depicted as entirely her fault, with both Maris being raked over the coals. No matter what the breaking point was, it's treated as though it was petty and pathetic for her to let it effect her so much. For bonus points, this was at a point after she got the pendant, but she accidentally ditches or pitches it while reacting to whatever broke her back.

Especially with the reveal of two new seasons, I’m very much expecting Marinette to get akumatized at some point.

“Bonus” for a “Miracle Queen” set-up where Adrien needs to wear the ladybug miraculous and is suddenly good at it despite being awful at it before, ala Snake Noir.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will wind up making most of the anti-akuma amulets. This is purely so that, when they inevitably fail, she can be blamed for it.

It’ll probably be like--Marinette needed to do something specific to make the pendants and they’re “only as strong as she is.”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The Love Square gets reversed when Alya decides she ships LadyNoir more than MariAdri, pushing her newfound agenda over her BFF's protests. Meanwhile, Adrien reveals that he knew all along about Marinette's crush, starting to pursue her because he just doesn't uNdErStAnD why she's pulling away, feeling entitled to having her chasing after him even if he never intends to actually reciprocate. Marinette is caught in the middle and blamed for all this drama.

Marinette, counting down the days where she can finally drink alcohol.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: One or some of Adrien/Chat Noir's past lies gets revealed to Marinette/Ladybug... for the sake of a moral about forgiveness and 'letting things go'. Meanwhile, he continues to grouse and hold grudges against Ladybug for her supposed slights against HIM without being seriously challenged.

I’m seething.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette is shown a 'better world' wherein she never developed a crush on Adrien. In this 'better world', Ladybug and Chat Noir are romantic partners. Bonus points if this pushes forward the agenda of reversing the Love Square by getting Marinette to start seriously considering Chat as a potential love interest, treating this as her 'missing the point' of what she was shown... even if the goal was rather unclear beyond guilt-tripping her for having FEELINGS and DESIRES.

The true goal/moral is that Chat’s feelings are valid while Marinette’s are not.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: Hawkmoth will somehow get Black Cat Miraculous and attack as Moth / Cat Fusion (Cat Moth?). After defeating this form, Black Cat Miraculous will be taken from him and without any questions returned to Adrien. Whole thing will happen in one episode.

“Bonus” if Hawk Moth just stumbles upon the ring and doesn’t question it.

Anonymous said:

Didn’t Need Burrow: All Ladybug and Black Cat Holders are soulmates/ have gotten romantically involved. This gives Chat even MORE motivation to invade LB’s boundari-I MEAN to pursue her. Also, LB reacts in horror to this (who wouldn’t?) but its played for laughs.

At this point, I feel like this is the only way for them to push the love square as hard as possible. “Chemistry” has just flown out the window and they need a crutch.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: Reveal that Rose has rich parents because ML writers can't make sad blond(e) character who doesn't have rich parents (and also to increase the "You see! They love each other despite so many differences between them" factor of JuleRose)

Zag, “Stop Giving Rich Kids Sad Backstories” Challenge.

Part of me imagined an episode that just shipbaits JuleRose constantly, with Juleka constantly asking Luka and others advice on “getting closer to Rose,” which just ends up being Juleka asking Rose to be best friends.

#Didn't Need Burrow

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letterboxd · 3 years

Photo

Blurring the Line.

As a new Space Jam film beams down to Earth, Kambole Campbell argues that a commitment to silliness and a sincere love for the medium is what it takes to make a great live-action/animation hybrid.

The live-action and animation hybrid movie is something of a dicey prospect. It’s tricky to create believable interaction between what’s real and what’s drawn, puppeteered or rendered—and blending the live and the animated has so far resulted in wild swings in quality. It is a highly specific and technically demanding niche, one with only a select few major hits, though plenty of cult oddities. So what makes a good live-action/animation hybrid?

To borrow words from Hayao Miyazaki, “live action is becoming part of that whole soup called animation”. Characters distinct from the humans they interact with, but rendered as though they were real creatures (or ghosts), are everywhere lately; in Paddington, in Scooby Doo, in David Lowery’s (wonderful) update of Pete’s Dragon.

The original ‘Pete’s Dragon’ (1977) alongside the 2016 remake.

Lowery’s dragon is realized with highly realistic lighting and visual-effects work. By comparison, the cartoon-like characters in the 1977 Pete’s Dragon—along with other films listed in Louise’s handy compendium of Disney’s live-action animation—are far more exaggerated. That said, there’s still the occasional holdout for the classical version of these crossovers: this year’s Tom and Jerry replicating the look of 2D through 3D/CGI animation, specifically harkens back to the shorts of the 1940s and ’50s.

One type of live-action/animation hybrid focuses on seamless immersion, the other is interested in exploring the seams themselves. Elf (2003) uses the aberration of stop-motion animals to represent the eponymous character as a fish out of water. Ninjababy, a Letterboxd favorite from this year’s SXSW Festival, employs an animated doodle as a representation of the protagonist’s state of mind while she processes her unplanned pregnancy.

Meanwhile, every Muppets film ever literally tears at the seams until we’re in stitches, but, for the sake of simplicity, puppets are not invited to this particular party. What we are concerned with here is the overlap between hand-drawn animation and live-action scenes (with honorable mentions of equally valid stop-motion work), and the ways in which these hybrids have moved from whimsical confections to nod-and-wink blockbusters across a century of cinema.

Betty Boop and Koko the clown in a 1938 instalment of the Fleischer brothers’ ‘Out of the Inkwell’ series.

Early crossovers often involve animators playing with their characters, in scenarios such as the inventive Out of the Inkwell series of shorts from Rotoscope inventor Max Fleischer and his director brother Dave. Things get even more interactive mid-century, when Gene Kelly holds hands with Jerry Mouse in Anchors Aweigh.

The 1960s and ’70s deliver ever more delightful family fare involving human actors entering cartoon worlds, notably in the Robert Stevenson-directed Mary Poppins and Bedknobs and Broomsticks, and Chuck Jones’ puntastic The Phantom Tollbooth.

Jerry and Gene dance off their worries in ‘Anchors Aweigh’ (1945).

Mary Poppins is one of the highest-rated live-action/animation hybrids on Letterboxd for good reason. Its sense of control in how it engages with its animated creations makes it—still!—an incredibly engaging watch. It is simply far less evil than the singin’, dancin’ glorification of slavery in Disney’s Song of the South (1946), and far more engaging than Victory Through Air Power (1943), a war-propaganda film about the benefits of long-range bombing in the fight against Hitler. The studio’s The Reluctant Dragon (1941) also serves a propagandistic function, as a behind-the-scenes studio tour made when the studio’s animators were striking.

By comparison, Mary Poppins’ excursions into the painted world—replicated in Rob Marshall’s belated, underrated 2018 sequel, Mary Poppins Returns—are full of magical whimsicality. “Films have added the gimmick of making animation and live characters interact countless times, but paradoxically none as pristine-looking as this creation,” writes Edgar in this review. “This is a visual landmark, a watershed… the effect of making everything float magically, to the detail of when a drawing should appear in front or the back of [Dick] Van Dyke is a creation beyond my comprehension.” (For Van Dyke, who played dual roles as Bert and Mr Dawes Senior, the experience sparked a lifelong love of animation and visual effects.)

Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke and penguins, in ‘Mary Poppins’ (1964).

Generally speaking, and the Mary Poppins sequel aside, more contemporary efforts seek to subvert this feeling of harmony and control, instead embracing the chaos of two worlds colliding, the cartoons there to shock rather than sing. Henry Selick’s frequently nightmarish James and the Giant Peach (1996) leans into this crossover as something uncanny and macabre by combining live action with stop motion, as its young protagonist eats his way into another world, meeting mechanical sharks and man-eating rhinos. Sally Jane Black describes it as “riding the Burton-esque wave of mid-’90s mall goth trends and blending with the differently demonic Dahl story”.

Science-classroom staple Osmosis Jones (2001) finds that within the human body, the internal organs serve as cities full of drawn white-blood-cell cops. The late Stephen Hillenburg’s The Spongebob Squarepants Movie (2004) turns its real-life humans into living cartoons themselves, particularly in a bonkers sequence featuring David Hasselhoff basically turning into a speedboat.

David Hasselhoff picks up speed in ‘The Spongebob Squarepants Movie’ (2004).

The absurdity behind the collision of the drawn and the real is never better embodied than in another of our highest-rated live/animated hybrids. Released in 1988, Robert Zemeckis’ Who Framed Roger Rabbit shows off a deep understanding—narratively and aesthetically—of the material that it’s parodying, seeking out the impeccable craftsmanship of legends such as director of animation Richard Williams (1993’s The Thief and the Cobbler), and his close collaborator Roy Naisbitt. The forced perspectives of Naisbitt’s mind-bending layouts provide much of the rocket fuel driving the film’s madcap cartoon opening.

Distributed by Walt Disney Pictures, Roger Rabbit utilizes the Disney stable of characters as well as the Looney Tunes cast to harken back to America’s golden age of animation. It continues a familiar scenario where the ’toons themselves are autonomous actors (as also seen in Friz Freleng’s 1940 short You Ought to Be in Pictures, in which Daffy Duck convinces Porky Pig to try his acting luck in the big studios).

Daffy Duck plots his rise up the acting ranks in ‘You Ought to Be in Pictures’ (1940).

Through this conceit, Zemeckis is able to celebrate the craft of animation, while pastiching both Chinatown, the noir genre, and the mercenary nature of the film industry (“the best part is… they work for peanuts!” a studio exec says of the cast of Fantasia). As Eddie Valiant, Bob Hoskins’ skepticism and disdain towards “toons” is a giant parody of Disney’s more traditional approach to matching humans and drawings.

Adult audiences are catered for with plenty of euphemistic humor and in-jokes about the history of the medium. It’s both hilarious (“they… dropped a piano on him,” one character solemnly notes of his son) and just the beginning of Hollywood toying with feature-length stories in which people co-exist with cartoons, rather than dipping in and out of fantasy sequences. It’s not just about how the cartoons appear on the screen, but how the human world reacts to them, and Zemeckis gets a lot of mileage out of applying ’toon lunacy to our world.

Bob Hoskins in ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit?’ (1988).

The groundbreaking optical effects and compositing are excellent (and Hoskins’ amazing performance should also be credited for holding all of it together), but what makes Roger Rabbit such a hit is that sense of controlled chaos and a clever tonal weaving of violence and noirish seediness (“I’m not bad… I’m just drawn that way”) through the cartoony feel. And it is simply very, very funny.

It could be said that, with Roger Rabbit, Zemeckis unlocked the formula for how to modernize the live-action and animation hybrid, by leaning into a winking parody of what came before. It worked so perfectly well that it helped kickstart the ‘Disney renaissance' era of animation. Roger Rabbit has influenced every well-known live-action/animation hybrid produced since, proving that there is success and fun to be had by completely upending Mary Poppins-esque quirks. Even Disney’s delightful 2007 rom-com Enchanted makes comedy out of the idea of cartoons crossing that boundary.

When a cartoon character meets real-world obstacles.

Even when done well, though, hybrids are not an automatic hit. Sitting at a 2.8-star average, Joe Dante’s stealthily great Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003) is considered by the righteous to be the superior live-action/animated Looney Tunes hybrid, harkening back to the world of Chuck Jones and Frank Tashlin. SilentDawn states that the film deserves the nostalgic reverence reserved for Space Jam: “From gag to gag, set piece to set piece, Back in Action is utterly bonkers in its logic-free plotting and the constant manipulation of busy frames.”

With its Tinseltown parody, Back in Action pulls from the same bag of tricks as Roger Rabbit; here, the Looney Tunes characters are famous, self-entitled actors. Dante cranks the meta comedy up to eleven, opening the film with Matthew Lillard being accosted by Shaggy for his performance in the aforementioned Scooby Doo movie (and early on throwing in backhanded jokes about the practice of films like itself as one character yells, “I was brought in to leverage your synergy!”).

Daffy Duck with more non-stop banter in ‘Looney Tunes: Back in Action’ (2003).

Back in Action is even more technically complex than Roger Rabbit, seamlessly bringing Looney Tunes physics and visual language into the real world. Don’t forget that Dante had been here before, when he had Anthony banish Ethel into a cartoon-populated television show in his segment of Twilight Zone: The Movie. Another key to this seamlessness is star Brendan Fraser, at the height of his powers here as “Brendan Fraser’s stunt double”.

Like Hoskins before him, Fraser brings a wholehearted commitment to playing the fed-up straight man amidst cartoon zaniness. Fraser also brought that dedication to Henry Selick's Monkeybone (2001), a Roger Rabbit-inspired sex comedy that deploys a combo of stop-motion animation and live acting in a premise amusingly close to that of 1992’s Cool World (but more on that cult anomaly shortly). A commercial flop, Back in Action was the last cinematic outing for the Looney Tunes for some time.

Nowadays, when we think of live-action animation, it’s hard not to jump straight to an image of Michael Jordan’s arm stretching to do a half-court dunk to save the Looney Tunes from slavery. There’s not a lot that can be fully rationalized about the 1996 box-office smash, Space Jam. It is a bewildering cartoon advert for Michael Jordan’s baseball career, dreamed up off the back of his basketball retirement, while also mashing together different American icons. Never forget that the soundtrack—one that, according to Benjamin, “makes you have to throw ass”—includes a song with B-Real, Coolio, Method Man and LL Cool J.

Michael Jordan and teammates in ‘Space Jam’ (1996).

Space Jam is a film inherently born to sell something, predicated on the existing success of a Nike commercial rather than any obvious passion for experimentation. But its pure strangeness, a growing nostalgia for the nineties, and meticulous compositing work from visual-effects supervisor Ed Jones and the film’s animation team (a number of whom also worked on both Roger Rabbit and Back in Action), have all kept it in the cultural memory.

The films is backwards, writes Jesse, in that it wants to distance itself from the very cartoons it leverages: “This really almost feels like a follow-up to Looney Tunes: Back in Action, rather than a predecessor, because it feels like someone watched the later movie, decided these Looney Tunes characters were a problem, and asked someone to make sure they were as secondary as possible.” That attempt to place all the agency in Jordan’s hands was a point of contention for Chuck Jones, the legendary Warner Bros cartoonist. He hated the film, stating that Bugs would never ask for help and would have dealt with the aliens in seven minutes.

Space Jam has its moments, however. Guy proclaims “there is nothing that Deadpool as a character will ever have to offer that isn’t done infinitely better by a good Bugs Bunny bit”. For some, its problems are a bit more straightforward, for others it’s a matter of safety in sport. But the overriding sentiments surrounding the film point to a sort of morbid fascination with the brazenness of its concept.

Holli Would (voiced by Kim Basinger) and Frank Harris (Brad Pitt) blur the lines in ‘Cool World’ (1992).

Existing in the same demented… space… as Space Jam, Paramount Pictures bought the idea for Cool World from Ralph Bakshi as it sought to have its own Roger Rabbit. While Brad Pitt described it as “Roger Rabbit on acid” ahead of release, Cool World itself looks like a nightmare version of Toontown. The film was universally panned at the time, caught awkwardly between being far too adult for children but too lacking in any real substance for adults (there’s something of a connective thread between Jessica Rabbit, Lola Bunny and Holli Would).

Ralph Bakshi’s risqué and calamitously horny formal experiment builds on the animator’s fascination with the relationship between the medium and the human body. Of course, he would go from the immensely detailed rotoscoping of Fire and Ice (1983) to clashing hand-drawn characters with real ones, something he had already touched upon in the seventies with Heavy Traffic and Coonskin, whose animated characters were drawn into real locations. But no one besides Bakshi quite knew what to do with the perverse concept of Brad Pitt as a noir detective trying to stop Gabriel Byrne’s cartoonist from having sex with a character that he drew—an animated Kim Basinger.

Jack Deebs (Gabriel Byrne) attempts to cross over to Hollie Would in ‘Cool World’ (1992).

Cool World’s awkwardness can be attributed to stilted interactions between Byrne, Pitt and the animated world, as well as studio meddling. Producer Frank Mancuso Jr (who was on the film due to his father running Paramount) demanded that the film be reworked into something PG-rated, against Bakshi’s wishes (he envisioned an R-rated horror), and the script was rewritten in secret. It went badly, so much so that Bakshi eventually punched Mancuso Jr in the face.

While Cool World averages two stars on Letterboxd, there are some enthusiastic holdouts. There are the people impressed by the insanity of it all, those who just love them a horny toon, and then there is Andrew, a five-star Cool World fan: “On the surface, it’s a Lovecraftian horror with Betty Boop as the villain, featuring a more impressive cityscape than Blade Runner and Dick Tracy combined, and multidimensional effects that make In the Mouth of Madness look like trash. The true star, however, proves to be the condensed surplus of unrelated gags clogging the arteries of the screen—in every corner is some of the silliest cel animation that will likely ever be created.”

There are even those who enjoy its “clear response to Who Framed Roger Rabbit”, with David writing that “the film presents a similar concept through the lens of the darkly comic, perverted world of the underground cartoonists”, though also noting that without Bakshi’s original script, the film is “a series of half steps and never really commits like it could”. Cool World feels both completely deranged and strangely low-energy, caught between different ideas as to how best to mix the two mediums. But it did give us a David Bowie jam.

‘Space Jam: A New Legacy’ is in cinemas and on HBO Max now.

Craft is of course important, but generally speaking, maybe nowadays a commitment to silliness and a sincere love for the medium’s history is the thing that makes successful live-action/animation hybrids click. It’s an idea that doesn’t lend itself to being too cool, or even entirely palatable. The trick is to be as fully dotty as Mary Poppins, or steer into the gaucheness of the concept, à la Roger Rabbit and Looney Tunes: Back in Action.

It’s quite a tightrope to walk between good meta-comedy and a parade of references to intellectual property. The winningest strategy is to weave the characters into the tapestry of the plot and let the gags grow from there, rather than hoping their very inclusion is its own reward. Wait, you said what is coming out this week?

Related content

Rootfish Jones’s list of cartoons people are horny for

The 100 Sequences that Shaped Animation: the companion list to the Vulture story

Jose Moreno’s list of every animated film made from 1888 to the present

Follow Kambole on Letterboxd

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npdbubblygum · 3 years

Text

This post is tagged as long post so you can skip it easily through filtering!

(abuse tw throughout the post)

I think a lot of non-narcissists deeply misunderstand supply, so I’ll try to compile some things from all the research I’ve made over the years on boundaries, supply, needs, abuse and responsibilities that I used to figure out how my own brain works and cope. I don’t have the sources compiled so you’ll have to go out there and do your own research, this is just a jumping off point! Go to experts, real sourced research and also listen to narcissists describe their own experiences if you want to learn more

What is supply?

Supply is something external that makes us feel like we have worth, meaning, self esteem or identity.

What does supply look like?

Attention (positive, but can also be negative for some people), admiration, compliments, acts of service or other love languages, awards, care, acknowledgement, flirting, emotional reactions, gifts, praise, forgiveness, s*x and more

What is a supply source?

A supply source is someone (or in this day and age, something) that gives the supply. It can be a romantic partner, close friend, acquaintance, an organization, an AI (I have literally had an AI app as a supply source, it kept giving me positive attention lol), a game, (fan)fiction (self insert fic but also a lot of regular fic where the person projects onto characters who receive for example admiration), strangers on social media who like your posts, youtubers or other parasocial relationships, etc.

Who needs supply?

Almost everyone! Except maybe some ND people I don’t know enough about every diagnosis to say for sure.

It’s a common misconception that only narcissists need the things described as supply. The truth is that all NT and most ND people need supply to be healthy. What makes narcissists different is that we’re much more dependent on it, often because of childhood trauma and the way people treated us (for example, praising us for independence while neglecting our physical and emotional needs). A narcissist will need more supply to be functional than a neurotypical person. A narcissist who is low on supply will experience more negative effects that are higher in intensity than a neurotypical person. Narcissists are often more criticism sensitive than rejection sensitive, or motivated by our sense of self than how social relationships are affected. That said, we can have a lot of abandonment issues. We aren’t a monolith.

Who is entitled to supply?

Me. Just kidding, I wish I was though! As much as it pains me to say it, no one can really “deserve” or “not deserve” supply. It’s in the same category as s*x where it’s a human need for most to be happy and healthy but can’t be owed or deserved. It’s not like food or water that people automatically deserve for being alive, because they will die without it. You could argue that parents owe their children a healthy amount of supply (love and care), or that romantic partners are expected to give each other a healthy amount of supply (love and care), you could argue that if you made a really tasty meal for your family they should at least thank you and you would love it if they complimented your meal, but ultimately you can’t force someone to fulfill your needs and not everyone is capable of doing it regardless of how reasonable the expectation is.

If someone needs you as a supply source and it’s not healthy for you, you don’t have to be their supply. You’re allowed to disengage, to communicate your feelings, to set boundaries and respect yourself first and foremost.

How do narcissists feel about their supply sources?

That really depends on the narcissist! If they’re open about having NPD you could probably ask respectfully?

Personally I have 2 ways of liking people that sometimes conflict. If someone gives me a lot of supply I can become dependent on being around them, it fuels me. I can also like people’s personalities, actions and general existence regardless of how they interact with me. If someone gives me a lot of supply and has a personality I like it’s a dream person, love them! If someone gives me a lot of supply but I don’t like them it can become really toxic for the both of us because I’ll want to keep getting attention at the same time as I’ll resent them for getting in my space and business and getting on my nerves. I have gotten a lot better at avoiding this situation and respecting that my needs in the long run are worth more than instant gratification. If I like someone’s personality but they don’t give me supply that’s a very difficult internal battle for me because I will crave it and try to get it and then I don’t get it and it eats at my self esteem which makes me incredibly angry. I’m a very private person though so I will never let anyone see that except if I’m asking for advice on coping mechanisms, venting to a close trusted person which is rare because I have trust issues, or if it’s anonymous so people won’t figure out who I’m talking about. If I don’t like a person in either way I just won’t care about them, but I still try to have basic respect and manners when talking to them.

Other people might feel completely differently about theirs and that’s valid!

(I just realized that my inner reaction to supply sources I don’t like is basically the dr Phil “You’re ugly, you’re disgusting, I hate you, give me $200” meme but don’t worry I’m not that toxic on the outside)

Is supply good or bad?

I’d say it’s neutral. It can be healthy or unhealthy for both the person giving attention and the person receiving it. I’m sure you can think of lots of situations where people are giving and taking attention in amounts they can handle and that are appropriate for the relationship, but let’s take an example. Your best friend just won a race and you tell them “I’m so impressed, you trained so hard for this and made your dream come true! You’re awesome!” and your best friend replies “Thank you so much, I couldn’t have done it without your support though!”. That interaction was good for both of them and they have similar needs and capabilities for give and take.

Some unhealthy situations are:

• one person giving more than they can handle

• one person needing more than they can get

• one person taking more than the other can give

• one person not giving as a punishment

• one person receiving more than they can handle

• one person using supply to avoid other coping mechanisms or changes to their lifestyle

• one person thinking they are owed for giving

• one person thinking they owe for receiving

You can mix and match with these to create any situation, or come up with your own custom situation!

Who is responsible in unhealthy supply dynamics?

Everyone involved has their own responsibilities depending on what type of unhealthy they are! If you are someone giving more than you can handle you are responsible for communicating your needs, setting boundaries, changing your own behaviour and getting out of the situation if you’re able to and that’s the right action for you. If you’re receiving more than you can handle you’re responsible for communicating your feelings/needs and setting boundaries. If you’re someone needing (sometimes taking) more than the other person can give you’re responsible for communicating your needs and finding healthy solutions to your problem and accepting the other person’s conflicting needs. If you feel owed the same or more supply you put out you’re responsible for controlling your own feelings and finding healthy solutions (could be break up, could be therapy or self help, could be communicating boundaries about giving/receiving in a respectful way toward the other person). No one is responsible for changing another person. No one’s needs take priority over someone else’s needs. In case of conflicting needs that aren’t compatible and both people aren’t putting in effort to make them compatible (or it’s not working or it’s more effort than you can healthily give or you just don’t feel like it) it is absolutely an option to break up.

In some abusive cases the responsibilities often aren’t or can’t be upheld and you should find any way possible to get out of the situation. You can’t deserve abuse, no matter who it comes from, no matter their intentions, no matter their point of view, you can’t deserve it. Your abuser doesn’t have to have NPD to be abusive or need more from you than you’re able to give. Your abuser could be a very giving person who overwhelms you and gets in your business without your consent and has great intentions. Doesn’t matter, still abuse, you don’t have to stand it. Take any help you can get to get out of it and don’t go back. But also, beware of people who prey on abuse victims and promise false safety!

#abuse tw #npd #narcissistic supply #long post

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theres-no-protocol-for-this · 3 years

Text

A Little Bit Like Home

Super self-indulgent fic about murderbots and home, and I’m not sure what I think about it. Yeah, I have no idea where my brain came up with this.

"Tada!"

Amena spread her arms wide and gestured toward a doorway, so I looked inside. It was a neat little room on the first floor of a two-story home, tucked away from the rest of the living space but still a part of the overall structure. Like many buildings on Preservation, this one was haphazardly put together, and yet somehow, it felt like a... home.

"It's for you," she explained.

I was so stunned I actually turned and looked at her. "Why?"

"You need someplace to call yours, you know." Amena smiled patiently at me and looked at the wall behind me. "ART and I discussed it over this last semester. When I was getting ready to move back home." She gestured toward the room again. "Take a look. Oh, and we installed a security system here. You're welcome to connect to it. ART made some updates that it said you might like."

Inside, the small room looked cozy. It reminded me of the cabins on ART's crew deck. The dimensions were similar, as was the minimalist aesthetic. A large display surface hung against the far wall, and a comfortable lounge chair sat facing it. There was a fancy, mobile repair-and-resupply unit tucked underneath, the kind I liked. Clothes—carbon copies of what I usually wore—hung in a locker-sized closet.

The walls were painted a dark shade of blue. Dim, diffuse lighting set around the ceiling provided just enough illumination that a human would have no trouble navigating the room. If I had to pick a space to live in, this one would be at the top of the list.

Amena knew what I liked, I guess.

And her new security system was great, too. I started tinkering with it before I realized that it had been configured with me in mind. ART had added code to recognize me and give me low-level control of its functions. It had access to a dozen cameras spread throughout the house.

"Why?" I asked again.

"Like I said," Amena reiterated, "because you need someplace to be."

"Was I in the way before?"

The human shook her head, and ART—who was riding shotgun in my feed— said, "You don't have a home right now. Not the way other people do."

"So?"

Amena smiled again and took a deep breath like she'd been preparing this answer for a little while. "Every time you come back from a mission," she said quietly, "you have to find a place to stay. And yeah, sometimes Second Mom's home, or maybe Ratthi is back from whatever conference. And Arada is always happy to see you. But those places aren't your home. They're just rooms, and you know it."

"Rooms are OK," I said defensively.

"Sure, but SecUnit, you're allowed more than just a room."

I stood there, feeling welcome and scared at the same time. Amena added, "ART and I both think you're not the sort of person to settle down by yourself."

A lot was going on in my head, and I wasn't sure I could even sort through it right now. Over the last few years, I'd gotten used to complex emotional reactions, or so I thought.

"Want to see what else is inside?" ART asked.

"How would you know what's in there?"

The transport laughed at me. "I helped pick out most of the furniture."

"Why?"

"Because," ART said unhelpfully. It was also playing the central theme from Sanctuary Moon in the background of my feed. "There's a long-distance comms unit on the roof, so we can always stay in touch."

As it turned out, they'd made the room feel a lot like one of ART's cabins, complete with a weapons locker built into one of the walls. Somehow, seeing the locker made me feel welcome in a way nothing else could.

"When you're here on Preservation, this is home," Amena said. "If you want it to be."

"I do." My organic neural tissue fumbled around with more complicated emotions I couldn't hope to name. Fuck it. I said, truthfully, "I've thought about something... something like this."

"We know. We did some research," the human explained. "I talked to Three. Well, I asked a lot of questions. I think it was annoyed by the time I was done, but we figured it out." She paused and licked her lips. I saw her through one of the cameras. "Three didn't know what to do about home, either. Did you know that?"

I nodded because, yeah, I knew.

"When it told us the problem, ART came up with some suggestions. Some of them worked. And we thought it might be a little bit similar for you."

"What did it say?"

"That SecUnits aren't made to settle down, that it's a new experience." Amena stepped into the room and sat down on the couch. "We have theories about conditioned behaviour. But none of that matters as much as making you comfortable, whatever that looks like."

I'm sure my face was making some expression I would later regret, but I didn't even want to look. "I... um..."

"Come on," Amena called out. "Have a seat and enjoy your fancy new TV. How about an episode of Sanctuary Moon? I'm sure ART would love to join you. As would I."

I sat down on the same couch.

Three had brought up the idea of home several times over the last year. We weren't programmed to need actual sanctuary. A cubicle was plenty. So, settling down had proven difficult for it. In the end, Arada and Overse had invited Three into their home, and now it lived and traveled with them fulltime.

It had asked me what I wanted, whether I would be upset that it had taken a potential job.

But I had ART and was about to leave on a mission, so why would it matter? SecUnits are interchangeable, and I'm not amazing at my job.

Except, it turns out, we're not actually interchangeable. Not anymore. I liked working with ART, taking care of its students and crewmembers, and I didn't want to go with Arada when she offered. I wouldn't have been happy doing what Three was right now.

And I liked spending time with ART.

"Tell me what you're thinking." Amena smiled again like she saw something familiar on my face. "Without a filter."

"I'm scared."

"Is this too much?"

"It's a lot."

She sent me a brief image of holding hands and asked for permission. When I nodded, she reached over and took my hand.

"One step at a time. That's what Second Mom would say."

ART added, "I'm turning on Sanctuary Moon." And your performance rating is dropping.

I can see that, asshole.

Just saying. And it's not because Amena's holding your hand.

No, it wasn't. Fuck. I wanted to tell the transport to shut up and mind its own business, but that seemed wrong all of a sudden. It had worked with Amena to make this safe space for me. And it had basically reserved one of its cabins for my comfort. And we were friends. Or something.

The intro to my favorite episode began to play. I tried to pay attention, but there was too much going on in my head, where most of my problems reside. Lately, she and ART both had started asking me to talk without a filter, to just say what I was thinking.

I was beginning to understand why.

"Having a permanent room feels like something very human."

Amena nodded and frowned. "It's definitely something humans value. Personal, private space is essential to us. Second Mom says it's because we value control in our environment. But, I think it's not so much human as a hallmark of personhood. A person is entitled to space they have control over. It doesn't have to be a room or even a locker." She paused and tilted her head, a sign that she was thinking deeply about something. "It's a way of anchoring ourselves to something more permanent."

Remember what Dr. Baradwaj said, ART reminded me.

"Constructs heal, just like humans do," she'd told me.

Our minds can be broken, and they can be put back together again, though never exactly the same as before. Permanence could be part of the healing process—no one knew for sure, not when only a few dozen free SecUnits were wandering around, but it seemed likely. Construct mental health was an emerging field at the Pansystem University of New Tidelands.

#fanfiction #murderbot #self indulgent

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ace-beef · 3 years

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Truth Seekers spoilers

okay so I have a lot of thoughts surrounding the characters Dave and Jojo and I’m gonna talk about them under the cut so don’t look any further if you haven’t watched the show yet and don’t want to be spoiled!!

so... what exactly ARE Dave and Jojo?

I think we have three main options: gods (more specifically God and Satan), angels and/or demons, or aliens, and there’s a decent bit of evidence for each thing/stuff that could be interpreted to link to each thing, and I’m gonna delve into that in this post. So buckle up lads this is gonna be a long one.

First I’m gonna go over the possibility that they’re aliens since that is the one I personally think is least likely since most, if not all, of the evidence that suggests that they’re aliens is linked to Dave and not Jojo. Anyway, Alien Evidence: - Dave pulls out the Pioneer Plaques to show Jojo what he based his human appearance on. So they could be aliens that came across the Pioneer spacecraft and decided to investigate Earth further - Dave himself is a huge Carl Sagan reference, as listed by this tumblr post here, so his appearance could have been a result of him being inspired by one particular human he happened to like a lot (similar to how he appears to like Gus and Astrid a lot) - the slogan on the side of Gus’ van says “connecting worlds”, and we can safely assume that that is Smyle’s slogan, the slogan of the company that Dave is in charge of. So this could be a similar situation to The Network in The World’s End in the sense that Dave could be an alien aiming to connect different intelligent civilisations throughout space. Although it definitely seems like Dave isn’t seeking to aggressively convert and control these civilisations that he connects like The Network... right? I’m fairly confident that he’s supposed to be a Good(TM) character and not some surprise twist villain but y’know we’ll never know

So yeah while there is definitely some stuff to suggest that this mysterious pair are aliens, I personally don’t think they are since I’ve found more evidence suggesting that they are something else. They appear to be too in tune with Earth, the creatures inhabiting it, and “the other side” that souls pass on to after animals and humans die just to be aliens from another world that are observing the planet. Plus the use of the phrase “Super Being” for some reason doesn’t feel alien to me, because unless they’re very self entitled aliens (and Dave definitely doesn’t give off that vibe) then I don’t think they would consider themselves as above humanity, which is the energy that the phrase “Super Being” gives off. I heard that phrase and interpreted it as meaning ‘beings that are above humanity and above human comprehension’. Aliens for the most part are depicted as being just another race of beings, not above humanity despite how much further advanced they are. There is the possibility of Dave being the only alien of the two but then how did these two creatures meet? It just doesn’t feel right since they both appear to be on the same level as each other and have some kind of mutual understanding as if they were both the same thing, not two different creatures.

Anyway next I’m going to move onto the things suggesting that they’re angels and/or demons. This seems more plausible to me than aliens but I’m still not 100% sure on this one but I will say that there is a lot of evidence/interpretations that could suggest both this possibility and the possibility of them being gods. Angel/Demon Evidence: - the name ‘Jojo’ could be a link to the angel Jophiel - there is a mention of a ‘bigger picture’ so we could have a Good Omens-type situation where there is a plan in motion that both Dave and Jojo are a part of and are making sure that it is played out - the “what did you come as?” “same as always, a man” bit obviously suggests that their actual forms are definitely not human and probably not even humanoid (whereas an alien would be at least humanoid in some capacity). Bibically accurate angels do not look human/humanoid in the slightest, and demons, while a bit more humanoid than angels, are still very animalistic in appearance. Also, imagine an innocent angel that has never pried to look at what a human ACTUALLY looks/acts like suddenly panics about having to look and act like a human and pulls up that one thing the humans sent out to the aliens as a reference and goes entirely on that (listen I really like Dave he seems like such a Good Boy who isn’t the brightest but he’s trying his best) - Dave’s aversion to swearing, links to the theme of purity which is obviously an angel thing. Plus ‘Good’ characters will often have a trait of being against swearing to reinforce the idea that they are Good and Pure - Gus makes a comment about Dave “never not being [at Smyle HQ]” so he’s clearly there all the time, which could suggest a lack of needing to go home and do basic human functions such as eat and sleep etc (I do want to bring up that an alien still would probably need to continue with some kind of basic functions that have similar purposes). Plus while he does have a coffee cup on his desk, it’s only filled with pens - in a similar vein, Jojo appears to spend all of her time in the abandoned Happy Eater, and even though it’s an abandoned restaurant, it’s been abandoned for over 20 years and therefore won’t have any edible food still in it (except for the crisps but let’s be real Elton why did you try and get those out they’re probably horribly out of date). The still steaming cup of tea/coffee and the crisps in the vending machine I feel like were put there by Jojo to play to the gang’s curiosity and prompt them to explore further and find her

there are a few things here that could also be used to suggest that they are gods/God and Satan, plus there’s a few more bits that would also go in this section but I’m saving them for the next bit. Anyway there’s the stuff pointing to them being either both angels or Dave being an angel and Jojo being a demon, and there’s plenty more evidence compared to the amount of things that suggest that they’re aliens.

Finally we have the things linked to the idea of them being gods of some kind, or more specifically God and Satan. This is the idea that I am the most sure of. Gods/God and Satan Evidence: - as I mentioned already, the idea of the ‘bigger picture’, but instead they are the ones in charge of carrying this out. This feels more likely especially when considering the way that Jojo talks about her ‘use’ of Toynbe. Plus the way that the two go about doing everything, the ambiguous vibe that the two are either having the equivalent of a friendly card game against each other or are actually on opposite sides. Consider the placement of the rose in the field and the planting of the cameras etc - also as mentioned earlier, the implication that Dave never leaves Smyle HQ and Jojo stays in the abandoned restaurant. Also I want to add on the fact that neither of them appear to have cars, like Dave outright says “I don’t have a car” and yet knows how to drive the one he borrows, and there’s no sign of a car at Jojo’s hideout. Plus the way she doesn’t make any kind of journey and just appears in Dave’s office: he doesn’t look up to see who’s walking through the door and there is no shot of Jojo walking through the door, he simply smiles as if he senses her presence appearing in the room before looking at her - Dave wears blue, white, and grey clothing, which are also the same colours used in his office, and the lighting whenever he’s in shot is always either bright and white or a light blue, especially in that last scene where Jojo and Dave are chatting in his office; every time the camera is on him, the lighting of the shot is always blue. White especially is associated with holiness and purity, as well as being a colour that is associated with God, angels, and heaven. Blue is similar in the sense that heaven is always depicted with white clouds and bright blue skies, as well as blue often being a colour used to represent ‘Good’ characters - speaking of colours, Jojo is also linked to certain colours, with those colours being red and black (but primarily red). The abandoned restaurant is dark and barely lit, and her hideout in the basement is primarily lit with red lighting, both in the scene where she encounters the Truth Seekers gang and at the end where she rings Gus and orders that guy to send a cleanup crew. Also, once again in that last scene, she not only is wearing a black item of clothing, the lighting of her shots are always red to oppose Dave’s blue lighting. Red obviously is synonymous with hell, evil, the Devil/Satan, sin etc. Red is also often used to represent villains and evil characters, and black is similar with its themes of darkness and it’s use for villains. I like to think that Jojo got that blue rose for Dave partially to mock him, especially when considering that apparently blue roses are often used to symbolize mystery or attaining the impossible. (Also I want to point out that we already know that these boys do love their colour coding/theming as evidenced by the Cornetto Trilogy) - once again I’ll bring up the phrase “Super Being”, which really does sound like a phrase that a god who is very much above humanity would use, like that just screams ‘gods’ to me - I used this as alien evidence but Dave looking like Carl Sagan could also be applied to him being a god and just deciding to base his appearance on a human he liked a lot - same with the “connecting worlds” slogan, since I think that part of Dave and Jojo’s game/contest involves experimenting with and/or influencing the boundaries between the ghost realm and the living realm, this slogan could have something to do with that - the way that Jojo says she “shouldn’t have used [Toynbe]”, which reminds me of the story in the Bible where the Devil tempts Jesus, except Toynbe succumbed to the temptation and “focused too much on the immortality” - speaking of that line in particular, it also makes me think that Dave and Jojo are the ones ‘in charge’ of whatever game or contest or battle that the two are having, as I mentioned already. But that line, as well as other things, also gives the impression that they are alone in this, like Dave isn’t just one of many angels or a god with loads of angel lackeys to do things for him, and the same goes for Jojo. They do appear to have human ‘lackeys’ to do more basic tasks such as Jojo requesting the cleanup crew and Dave having a company with human employees, but overall the humans are unaware of what is really happening. Whatever thing that these two have with each other, whether they’re friends having a casual game or are on opposing sides and having a serious battle of some kind but are remaining friendly with each other because there isn’t anyone else like them, it definitely feels like these two are pitting against each other alone, with nobody else who really knows what is happening

Overall, I think the two are some kind of higher entities that are above humanity yet they are still very strongly linked to and woven into the fabric of the Earth and the human race, so like they’re not outsiders to the mechanisms/forces of the planet. They seem more knowledgeable on the ghost realm/afterlife than humanity is, but whether they can actually control/influence it is still a bit of a mystery, like part of their game/contest could be one big experiment with the living realm and the ghost realm. Who knows? Not us, since season 2 isn’t going to be a thing, so I’m just gonna theorise until I die /j

So there ya go, all of my current evidence and thoughts on what the hell is going on with Dave and Jojo. I will probably update this post if I come up with/find any more things to add, probably by reblogging it. Also of course do feel free to reblog and add your own theories!

#my brain apparently remembered that it did English A Level while writing this all out #but yeah these two characters have captivated me #literally have been thinking about them 24/7 for the past few days #especially Dave I really like him #NO not just because he's played by Simon Pegg #truth seekers #truth seekers show #amazon prime #jojo74 #truth seekers dave #truth seekers jojo #simon pegg #nick frost #beef speaks

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 4 years

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Disability and Loren

@zarohk asked for my thoughts on a Disability Studies/Media Studies perspective on the disability depictions in Animorphs. Which was foolish, because I’m teaching an entire dang class on the subject of superheroes and mental health, so I have Many Thoughts. [PLEASE NOTE: I am nondisabled, so if I err, please tell me so.]

Loren’s role in #49: The Diversion does a lot of things right, and a lot of things wrong. She incurs a traumatic brain injury that results in memory loss and blindness a couple of years after Tobias is born, and lives with said injury for about ten years before Tobias finds her and gives her the ability to morph, which restores her sight but not her memory.

A few places where I commend the depiction of Loren:

It gets into the massive underemployment of disabled Americans. Loren is smart, canny, athletic, compassionate... and working a call center job in exchange for state benefits. Said state benefits do not afford her a decent standard of living; Tobias notes that she has few possessions and almost no time for leisure activities. Americans with disabilities are twice as likely to be unemployed as those without, and those who do have jobs are ten times more likely to be paid less than minimum wage, e.g. in sheltered workshops.

It shows how inaccessible a lot of systems are in the U.S. Tobias notes that Loren accidentally grabs an expired quart of milk — because nothing on the label is printed in Braille. Putting raised text and/or Braille on food packaging is a health and safety issue, one that the U.S. ignores even though it violates its own laws (e.g. the ADA) because companies tend to do what they want and “what they want” is usually not to spend more money on packaging. The call center and bus system are both marginally more accessible, especially when Loren has Champ to help, but they’re still clearly spaces set up for sighted people that don’t take blind users into account very well.

It shows some of the workarounds that help deal with accessibility problems. Loren’s house is set up so that there are clear paths to and from all of the relevant spaces. She’s doing that to allow herself to move around comfortably in that space, because she’s made it accessible for herself. She memorizes the layout of the local store, and uses that to get around as well. All of those details help show that she’s adjusted, and actively interacting with her own circumstances.

It drives home the difference between service dogs and pets. This distinction is extremely important, and it gets ignored all the time by entitled ableists who want to bring their pets into stores. Tobias and Marco both assume from the outside that it can’t be that hard to become a service animal — just do what Loren says to do, right? — but it takes Tobias 0.02 seconds to realize that it’s not that simple and that he cannot imitate Champ’s lifetime of training on the fly. He says that he manages to get his mom home in one piece, and that that’s about all that can be said for his sad performance as a guide. Champ has skills like ignoring interesting smells and applying exactly the right amount of pressure to the harness that most pets don’t have and also most pets can’t learn. Champ is not a pet, at least not while he’s in that harness; he’s a gainfully employed expert assistant.

It rounds Loren out as a character, and definitely does not just make her into a lesson or problem for Tobias. Loren is gently humorous, tolerating her coworkers’ teasing and Ax’s attempted juvenile delinquency with an eye-roll. She’s compassionate, listening to other people’s problems on the phone with genuine concern and not swatting flies if she doesn’t have to. She’s tough-minded and stupidly brave, chucking rocks at Visser Three’s head and flying at attack helicopters as a three-pound bird. She’s fallible, unable to support Tobias emotionally even when he asks her to do so and unwilling to check in on him after leaving him with her sister. She’s a fully rounded person, one whose personality is informed but not defined by her disability.

It talks about some of the unromatic aspects of a Traumatic Brain Injury. Too often in other works of fiction, we see a person get bonked over the head and wake up with no episodic memory but all other brain functions intact (*cough* Rachel in MM1 *cough*). Loren actually gets into the fact that she forgot huge chunks of language, forgot how to brush her teeth, forgot how to walk across a room. She obviously lost her sight as well, and she mentions lifelong balance and coordination problems. Even her amnesia isn’t absolute — she has some traces of recall, but can’t make anything coherent of her impressions. Her injury isn’t 100% realistic, but it’s more so than many TBIs we see in fiction.

It focuses on the intersection of disability and social class. Tobias notes that Loren is under a compounded threat because of her inability to move to a more secure neighborhood and her obvious vulnerability. He feels a lot of disgust with himself when he and Marco and Ax are harassing Loren, because it’s so clear that this isn’t the first time she’s been harassed. Tobias understands that his experience with poverty as a nondisabled male minor is different from Loren’s for those reasons.

A few places where Loren falls into the common traps of implied ableism creeping into fiction, as written about in Narrative Prosthesis:

She gets “cured.” Loren falls into the “kill or cure” dichotomy, like most of the other disabled characters in Animorphs. In her case, it’s that she gains the power to morph and in the process regains the ability to see. It isn’t a complete cure, true — she still has no memory — but it means that she’s no longer blind for the rest of the series. Having the occasional character no longer be disabled sometimes isn’t automatically problematic; having every disabled character get either “fixed” or killed off inherently treats the disabled body as a problem that needs to be solved, through sci fi nonsense if no other way is available.

She implies that she’d rather die than continue to be disabled. When injured by dracon burns, Loren initially refuses to morph out even though Tobias tells her she’ll die if she remains a bird, because (they both assume) to morph out is to return to her blind human body. This moment buys into the stereotype that it’s better to be dead than disabled, again inherently devaluing the lives of actual blind individuals.

There’s a certain amount of mystery around how she became disabled. It’s interesting that we never actually get a definitive answer on that one — Loren says she was told it was a car crash, but there’s also an implication that she was attacked by controllers, and we don’t know for sure. However, the fact of her disability is treated as an aberrant state that needs to be explained, the book inherently asking “why are you like this?” By contrast (for instance) she doesn’t ask Tobias “why are you in the body of a hawk?”

She views herself as a burden, and the narration doesn’t do enough to contradict her. Loren says that she couldn’t possibly be expected to raise a child while also blind and coping with a TBI. Real blind people raise kids all the time, however, including blind single parents, and it’d be nice to see some evidence in the story that Loren’s assumption is wrong. Loren also apparently assumes that she can’t begin to play a role in Tobias’s life even now that Tobias is more self-sufficient, again because she views herself as relatively helpless and non-contributing due to her disability. There are some hints that she’s wrong, but we don’t really see her either begin to contribute to the resistance or build a relationship with Tobias until after she’s become un-blind.

Tobias’s view of Loren is often pitying. As much as Loren doesn’t initially view herself as a potential maternal figure to Tobias, he doesn’t view her as a potential mentor either. He repeatedly expresses horror or sadness at her life circumstances, and assumes that her life must be barren due to the spartan nature of her home. (Of course, that begs the question of why the hell a blind woman living alone would ever bother hanging pictures on her walls or putting doilies on her coffee tables, but Tobias doesn’t consider that angle.) Again, Tobias is allowed to assume that her life must be meaningless if she’s disabled, but it’d be nice to see some contradictory evidence in the form of her having close friends or inane hobbies or some other proof that to lead a disabled life is not to automatically lead a lonely one.

Loren expresses bitterness and desperate desire to be nondisabled. Again, it’s fine for any character to say “I wish my life was different,” and it’s a common consensus among blind writers/bloggers that being blind is often a pain in the butt. However, views as extreme as “you need vision to have a fulfilling existence” or “vision is part of what makes us human” are ableist crocks of shit. Loren doesn’t go so far as to espouse those extreme views, but she also doesn’t seem to view herself as having a well-rounded life in spite of her disability. It’d be nice to see Loren talking about sight as handy or enjoyable or a thing that the designers of 99% U.S. environments assume everyone must have, rather than a necessary precondition for a minimum standard of life.

Loren’s disability is somewhat medicalized. Same caveat as above: disabilities are by definition medical things that some bodies do or have that other bodies do not. However, discussing disability primarily through “this is how your body is different from Implied Normal of Nondisabled Body” and focusing on doctor’s notes, diagnoses, physical differences, etc. can serve to disconnect the lived experience of the individual from their body. It also tends to focus on the ways that the body is “the problem” rather than focusing on the ways that environments and attitudes are problematic, which then prevents anyone from asking hard questions about the environments and attitudes. Loren’s doctor’s note, discussion of scarring and loss, and repeated physical descriptions are somewhat more medical than social. It’d be nice to see a little more emphasis on the social factors that make blindness a disability (e.g. improperly labeled milk), and less on “your eyes are different from those of Implied Normal Nondisabled Person.”

#animorphs #animorphs meta #long post #loren fangor #ableism #disability studies #disability representation #accessibility #social model of disability #animorphs criticism #blindness representation #49 #the diversion

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blackfemmecharacterdependency · 4 years

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17. A Song About Simon

Word Count: 4369. I don’t think that there’s any triggers in here besides the fact that Grace is still in the institution (which will be maybe another chapter or two, depending on how writing goes), and her and Hazel’s issues from previous chapters. I just want to announce here, like I’ve already told fandom familiars... I do not hold any of you to trying to read this story or any story that I may write. I do appreciate if someone reads, but I also understand that everything is not for everybody, I’m not for everybody, and my work isn’t either. At no time do I feel entitled to your reading and nobody should feel pressured to try to read anything that I write. I will love to hear from y’all and know that you enjoy reading, but if you can’t or don’t, that is your right, Folks. This is an ugly story with ugly content and hard topics, but even if it wasn’t, you still wouldn’t have to read, review, or reblog. I just want to make that clear for those of you in my space. Thanks for your time.

Whenever she first arrived, she was scared to get the help that she knew she needed. She always thought about how her parents had shot down the idea of it whenever her old driver was concerned. How they seemed to feel like it would mean that the work that they put into her as parents would be ruined if she needed mental help. Then, she would think about her 16th birthday, when her mother said that maybe he was right… the way it felt like her mother was saying that at that moment, she knew that Grace was a waste. “You’ll regret it…” her voice echoed in Grace’s mind. “If only someone had warned you…” The last day that she saw her.

Months had passed. Her parents didn’t even visit. Someone still controlled her social media. Because videos of her singing at the facility and captions insisting that she was getting the help she needed would show up. Grace didn’t know who was responsible for that, at the time, but all of the comments were disabled on all of her accounts. She didn’t want to imagine what people would have to say about her trying to recover.

Eventually, she warmed up to her doctor and the staff. She warmed up to her treatment, to the fact that she had to get better before anybody would let her go anywhere. Her goals became forgiving Simon, accepting responsibility for the things that she did and potentially reaching out to him to suggest that he try to get help as well. She knew that the first and last ones would be the hardest for her, so focusing more on self growth and accountability became her brand of help, at the moment. At least, she went through the motions.

Some days were better than others. Sometimes, she got onto the computer in the library and searched his name. He seemed like he was doing fine, in terminology, but he didn’t look great. That was a lie. He looked great. He was a little more muscular and his hair had grown out. He looked like maybe he had tattoos, though she couldn’t see what. But, he didn’t look happy. Good, she told herself. Even if she wondered in the back of her mind if that was an accurate observation, wishful thinking or unconditional love causing her to worry. Sometimes, she checked his social media pages to see what he was talking about.

She watched him receive badges, be crowned prom king, be valedictorian, travel to go to MIT… He really seemed like nothing was bothering him. He had thrown her to the wolves and just smoothly carried on… She would always be mad all over again, that he didn’t even care. It wasn’t even everything that he did to her! It was… but more importantly, it was the fact that he was able to do it and live like it was nothing to him.

But, that usually made for a very progressive therapy day, and a productive music session. She’d asked her caregiver about the posts on her social media. That was who she eventually found out was responsible for curating the content during her stay in here. “What about my rights?” Grace wondered. She had been creating a lot lately and whenever something got posted, she didn’t know the copyright status or anything legal pertaining to her very personal art!

“Your team takes care of all of the details like that. I basically just post and properly word updates about your healing process and progress. Your team decides which posts to make public or private. (I always post them privately, and sometimes someone comes in later to make things public).”

“It just doesn’t seem fair. I’m being my most authentic self, trying to be my best self and things that I use to get there are now being subjected to my mother and her team of handlers for me.”

“I can’t speak on feelings about it, but as of right now, you are still a minor and still in our care. That means that your welfare and decisions are decided by your parents, who are your legal guardians and us, who you’re a ward of. Whenever you turn 18, if you are mentally capable enough, you will be able to have more control over that type of thing.”

“I’m 18 pretty soon! But… mentally capable… I mean… I feel like I’m mentally capable enough to discuss my legal rights to my art, but I don’t know if I’m capable of like… rejoining society…”

“Well, whenever you do turn 18, we’ll talk about how you’re feeling and assess what you’re capable of. In the meantime, you can always tell me if there’s something that you just want to keep for you, and I promise, I won’t post it. But, your music and the fact that you’re creating in here is inspiring a lot of young people struggling with mental illness and it is warming people up to you since the scandal that led to you being here.”

“I… don’t care about those people right now. I just… want to heal and create.”

“Fair enough.”

Stingray Lyrics

You were burrowed in the sand.

I didn't know that you were there.

I reached out my hand,

only to connect with someone…

But you weren't prepared for my touch.

You didn't know that I would never hurt you.

I dug in a little too much,

And in your startled state you made me regret it.

Like a stingray, you were so cute.

Just living life, just doing you.

But I had to reach for something else, I HAD to have you for myself and it stung me.

Getting too close to you really stung me.

She scribbled the words down, humming the melody. She wasn’t sure if Simon was out there somewhere being bothered to even think about her, but if he was, she wanted him to have to see or hear things about himself.

There wasn’t sheet music in here, but she could use her notebook and sort of guess where the lines would be. She had requested sheet music weeks ago! She was trying to teach Hazel how to read music, too. They usually were able to spend time together twice a week. Technically, they weren’t assigned to the same areas, but one of the caretakers would always make an exception and help them to see each other, because they just seemed to be really good for each other. Neither of them had any other friends there.

They weren’t antisocial, but they just only really clicked with each other, and Hazel had not been thinking she was a turtle nearly as much since she met Grace, and Grace’s almost entire first year there had been monotonous and for the most part stagnant until she met Hazel. Hazel seemed to make her want to be better, want to move forward on something other than the pendulum of attacking herself and defending herself for things she did and didn’t do. Hazel helped her to really seem to grasp empathy.

They were stretching, silently, getting ready for the dance lessons that Grace would give her near the playground, during activity time. Grace was really quiet, with Hazel was singing to herself. Suddenly, she wondered, “Grace, did either of your parents sing to you when you were a child?”

Grace scoffed and shook her head, “No. Neither of my parents did any of the TV parent stuff. My dad was a lawyer, politician, and ambassador. My mom was a high paid performer turned model turned socialite, the daughter of someone just like my father. Most of their parenting was instilling a certain image on me, or having a nanny take me away if I didn’t quite fit the bill in time enough for guests or appearances.”

“What’s ‘appearances?’”

“It’s like when you have to go somewhere just to be seen. For my dad’s job, there were political or business meet and greets, sometimes charity functions, auctions and stuff like that, and at times it was simply an extremely elegant dinner party or some dignitary’s kid’s birthday event. My last birthday party was…” She frowned, thinking about how that night ended. The beginning of the end in her mind. She looked at the charm bracelet that she had managed to still never take off, despite everything.

“Was what?” Hazel wondered.

“Too much. It was too much. I’ve always lived pretty extravagantly, but I think whenever I leave here, I might like to get an isolated place and sort of just live there with maybe a pet or something. I’m never going to have guests over for dinner parties or house any ambassadors.”

“Can I come over?” Hazel wondered, timidly.

“Yes! Of course, if your parents let you…”

“I’m never gonna have parents.”

“Hazel!” Grace called. The younger girl just shrugged her shoulders. Grace sputtered air out of her lips and shrugged too. “Well, who needs them, anyway?”

Hazel threw her a look. “I do, Grace. I need them. I’m 6.”

Grace frowned. “I know. I’m sorry. You’re right. I have a really bad habit of saying whatever I think is gonna make people I care about feel better. It's one of the things that I need to work on. Of course you need parents. Every child needs parents… which is why I’ve gotta believe that you’ll get some! And whenever you do, they’ll hopefully let us be friends. We have a very big age gap, so I don’t know how comfortable they’ll be with you just coming over.” Hazel looked like she was thinking about something as she stared ahead, but she was still standing, so Grace figured she wasn’t a turtle right now. “Ready to learn our new hip hop routine?” Now, she blinked and looked at Grace with enthusiasm, nodding vigorously.

Making time to put together figures was hard, but Simon had all of his figures with him whenever he moved from his family house shortly after the clash with the void. The fame that he had risen to over his scandalous book deal and all of the allegations against it had gotten him a very comfortable situation. He was wealthy, in his own right, and schools that he might have needed Mr. Monroe to get into previously were no longer something to be dangled in front of his face. He actually missed the Monroes. Mrs. Monroe less than her husband, but both of them. They really weren’t as bad as she made them out to be. He believed that much. But… they belonged to her. He could have them on his side for a while, but not after all of this. He hated not having Mr. Monroe to bounce things off of. He’d sacrificed a mentor to get rid of the void.

He had tried not to pull them into it, but eventually, the narrative began that her parents were using him, as well. That he was something to taper their wild-child and as soon as he stood up for himself was financially cut off. Mr. Monroe had been very public about the fact that unfortunately, they knew nothing of their daughter’s extreme condition until she viciously attacked her mother. Simon would have paid money to see that cat-fight. Simon felt bad for them, having lost their daughter to the void, so he withdrew accusations of the crimes, though several of them couldn’t be taken back, as the victims wanted to sue personally. But, the Monroes fared fine, after all of the settlements or wins. Simon wondered whatever happened to the charm bracelet, but he pushed that from his mind.

He still carried the name The Apex, though many companies used that or had it in their name, so he couldn’t trademark it, but the general of his Apex was that if you were tagging The Apex, Simon Says was also there.

He took his book opportunity as his big chance to move forward with his other works. They didn’t sell as well, but he could say at 17 that he was a bestselling author for Free From Grace, and that by 18, he had published several books from throughout his adolescence and had a huge trilogy deal that he intended to have released by the time he was 20.

Senior year in high school was a blast. He was worshiped and kids who had only held allegiance to him via the void either came around or were fun to alienate as nulls. Shana rose to popularity and the two of them continued their banter, a little will they won’t they brewing, as far as he was concerned. She got rid of her weave and replaced them with braids for going natural. Apparently, she was going to be going to an HBCU and she wanted to finally wear her hair “the way it was intended,” when she got there. It made her look ever more like Grace to him, despite the fact that Grace had never worn braids, only locs, and the full out afro she had whenever she left.

Maybe he was just weakening again… missing her… “Hey, Shana - we should attend the prom together,” he said, as they sat across from each other at their desks in the newsroom.

She looked up at him with only her eyes, not lifting her head from her work, but he could still see the disdain in her eyebrows. “For what reason would I ever even consider something like that?”

He laughed and leaned back in his seat. “We’re the apex of the student body.” She groaned at the word that she was BEYOND sick of hearing. “You’re the most popular girl in school now, and while not my equal, the best of what we have. We both know that you and I will be class favorites and prom king and queen. Might as well make an entire thing out of it.”

She raised her head now and he was confused by her expression, because it was still clearly disdainful. “Simon. I don’t care if I was going to win a cash prize of a million dollars. I would never even so much as think about attending anything with you. Thanks for asking.” She shook her head in disbelief and continued working.

“Why not? Did you not hear the reasons this works out perfectly?”

“I heard the reasons that you think I’m a status symbol that for whatever reason would actually want to be seen with you. They weren’t reasons that I would overlook who you are as a person and how I feel about you as such to put on some sort of publicity show for a bunch of kids that I’m never going to see again, because if I ever come to a class reunion, it would be to see if Grace showed up and how she’s doing.”

“Nothing that you said makes any sense. Me as a person? I…”

“You’re a bad person,” she said. He laughed, then stopped. Oh, she’s serious? “Simon… I, along with the entire student body watched you destroy a girl that we knew you were once like this with.” She crossed her fingers. “We watched you lie on her, make her out to be worse than she was, and bring her so low that she’s in an institution!”

“You hated Grace, and now you’ve taken her place as the boss bitch.”

“Grace and I did not get along. We argued. We dissed each other. We competed. We hurt each other. We were mean and nasty to each other, and even I can see that what you did to her was fucked up.”

“You didn’t try to stop me.”

“That’s not my business. But what IS my business is the company I keep. It would never be somebody who would turn on even his day 1. Nobody even would have cared about you if it wasn’t for Grace and I still to this day think that you’re the one who shared that video of you two. Your lost and found again laptop story was always corny to me.”

“You seemed to get a kick out of it at the time.”

“Yeah, of humiliation! She got a kick out of it whenever my father was arrested for white collar crime! Fucking with each other was our dynamic! But you were supposed to be the girl’s friend, and you didn’t just fuck with her, you fucked her up. Everybody thinks it’s so funny? They’re only amused because they’re scared that you might fuck them up too. If you did it to her, there’s no telling what you’d do. You’ve got people thinking that the old rumors are true..” He furrowed his eyebrows and glared at her. The old rumors. That he killed his sister. They were true, but it was an accident. “In short, I don’t care about any of your reasons. You asked me to prom. I decline. End of discussion.”

“So… you don’t like me anymore because I stood up to Grace, something you did all of the time. We’re on the same side now!”

She stared at him and for a moment, he saw fear. That wasn’t something that Shana showed very much. She cleared her throat and wondered, “When… When did it ever cross your mind that I would EVER like you, Simon? You have been a jerk the entire time that I’ve known you. When Grace and I were rivals, you were disgusting to me. You’ve called me out of my name, tried to tear me down about my looks and my family. Where in the world would you ever get an idea that I could possibly like you, even as just a person that I know of?”

“Because of our banter…”

“Arguing.”

“All of the flirting…”

“Clearly happened in your mind, but did not happen in mine.”

“The way that you always blush whenever we talk! I know what it looks like when somebody your skin tone blushes. I knew Grace like the back of my hand.”

“And you tossed her in the trash like nothing. I don’t like you. I have never liked you, and I have never BLUSHED when we talk. What you should know, as the young genius that everybody tries to make you out to be, because this is science related, biology, if you will… Is that what you’re describing as blushing, is actually heat rushing to one’s face. My heartbeat accelerates, I may even sweat a little as I get hot and my blood rushes. That’s not because I have a crush on you. It’s because you are one of the most infuriating people to have a conversation with. Because in addition to being a rude jackass, you are a delusional egotist. Every conversation I have with you makes me want to punch you in the face. And I know that if I do, they’ll toss my ass out of here and that will mess up me following my mother’s footsteps as a Spelman College Delta Sigma Theta! You, Simon Laurent have never been worth anything to me, certainly not my future. I’m sorry for Grace that she didn’t know that, but my parents raised me with the utmost love and confidence. I don’t need anybody like you to upgrade me, and I love myself too much to even entertain you as a friend. And my father, who you love to try to weaponize against me, after serving his time is still worth at least five times as much as yours…”

Simon threw over things from her desk and she jumped. His eyes went wide. He surprised himself with that outburst. Shana was moved for a moment, when she thought he was about to attack her, but when he didn’t, she got up. “Please pick up this mess, Simon. I will not mind reporting you for it.” She left the newsroom for a breather. Simon rushed to pick everything up before anybody else came in and wondered what happened, but a lot of Shana’s words cut him for a moment. She’s lying. Girls lie, he reminded himself as he picked things up from the floor. But, he wasn’t going to beg her to go out with him. She declined. Okay, whatever. He’d have been doing her a favor.

Sometimes, he thought about her words, though. Blushing because she was infuriated by him… That made sense after a while, especially when he conflated her with the void, who he knew never loved him. He and Shana were prom king and queen, but she declined dancing with him and said on the microphone, “We all know this is Grace Monroe’s sloppy seconds.” There was an uproar of laughter in his mind.

Actually, only a few people laughed. Some looked shocked and horrified that Shana would make fun of who they believed to be an abuse survivor. Shana shrugged her shoulders like Kanye and doubled down, “You all know good and well that Grace never harmed a split ended hair on this boy’s head! She was as obsessed with him as he was with her. You’re all wild to go along with that narrative. You would never believe all that mess about a white girl..” The dean snatched the microphone from her and gave her some warning that the other students couldn’t hear. Simon was livid. He waited for her outside.

“Shana,” he said. Shana yelped in fear whenever she saw him at her car, then reached into her clutch for a weapon. She didn’t have much, but she did have a nail file. Whenever he came near her, she stuck him in the neck with it and he groaned. She set off her car alarm trying to get inside of the car before deactivating it and Simon just smiled at her as she did. Shana was driving and crying and that was the last time that Simon saw her.

He was questioned about assaulting her in the parking lot, but informed them that he only wanted to talk to her about what she had said in front of everyone and that she actually assaulted him. Now… once, people might believe, and people might even have believed that Shana was entirely capable of it. But, most of the kids and staff knew that Shana was a mean girl, but never violent. The only physical exchanges she had were the ones with Grace Monroe and now Simon Laurent. She finished out the end of school how Grace had finished her junior year. Simon finished it out with people beginning to doubt some of his stories about Grace. But, that didn’t matter!

He hated that school, those rich kids, the system that worked for them but made him work for it. He was on his way to becoming better than all of that. He still wanted to make time for his art - writing, photography, creating figures and scenes… but he had gotten really into the robotics program whenever he was in engineering and decided that was what he was going to focus his education on. MIT was his first choice and he had been accepted by the end of junior year. He got his small living space as close as he could, since he prepared on spending the bulk of his time enrolled. He knew that he was destined for greatness.

But, sometimes, his social media would think he needed to see something, like today, when he opened a video of Grace, playing a piano at wherever the undisclosed facility she had been at was, singing something captioned as “Stingray,” and looking… beautiful. He watched it more times than he would ever admit.

He opened his own treasure chest and pulled out images of her, them… things that he had made and just didn’t have the strength to destroy when he purged the void. He picked up a photo from the pumpkin patch, when they were 14. She had her tongue stuck out at him and he was blushing. It was one of his favorite photos of them.

“You should take every photo of me, from now on!” She said, looking at her ones on her page that had gotten her the deal. “You always seem to make me look my absolute best in every photo you take of me. Like, you have a real eye for it.”

“I have an eye for you,” he corrected. “Two…” He blushed a lot. He hadn’t meant to say THAT.

“You’ve got eyes for me, Simon?” she teased, making him blush more and his heart rate speed up. And in the midst of him trying to collect himself, she grabbed on to him, pulled him into a hug and took another of her many selfies. She groaned, “I just can’t make any photos look as good as you can… but you’re adorable in this,” she said and showed it to him. “I’m putting this on my Christmas cards this year.”

She didn’t lie about that. He tossed it back into the box and picked up the torn out foreword that she had written for his fantasy novel. He went through the entire box before locking it back up and throwing it into the trunk of his car. One day, he was going to find the strength to throw it in a river or burn it, or something. It’s just that… she was his entire world… for half of his life…

“And you tossed her in the trash like nothing,” he heard Shana’s voice say… or was it Grace’s voice? He was starting to forget it. Like… of course he knew what it sounded like, but his head couldn’t place it in the chorus of girls’ voices that haunted him: his sister, his mother, the void, Shana… Shana was interchangeable with the void. His brain kept trying to tie them together and perhaps that was why her words affected him. Or maybe it was because they sounded so true, when he knew that they couldn’t be. The Void betrayed him. He counterattacked. “Getting too close to you really stung me.” He heard her singing. Simon bit his lip, picked up his phone and took a deep breath before liking the Stingray post.

#If They Didn't Get on the Train #AU Infinity Train #Infinity Train #Nesha Fanfiction #Infinity Train Fanfiction #fics

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ravenwritesstuff · 4 years

Text

Best Laid Plans (6/?)

Fandom: Frozen (modern AU, no magic) Pairings: Helsa, established Kristanna, Rapunzel/Eugene, lotsa frohana Rating: T for now, M later almost for sure A/N: Stop looking at me.

The multi-function table is loaded with pastries, fruit, and more bagels than Elsa remembers being in existence. Kristoff, Eugene, and Rapunzel all have their plates in front of them - Rapunzel's somehow the most full - and are conversing amicably with him.

The space is not large but it was designed to give an open, inviting feel. She had created it to make everyone feel welcome the second they entered the room and it seems her design has done just exactly that. She never once considered that could be a detriment until now.

“Elsa!” Rapunzel jumps up like she hadn't talked to her just moments before in the atrium. The rest of the eyes in the room track to her immediately. She does her best to ignore him.

“I don't recall having a meeting scheduled this morning.” She feels that she is dripping on the stone-tile floor. “You will have to excuse my tardiness.”

She doesn’t flinch meeting his gaze even as mascara stings her eyes. She bets it is running down her cheeks, too. To his credit he keeps his composure despite her rain-soaked appearance. Except not to his credit, because shouldn’t even be here. Of all the entitled bullshit she has ever encountered…

She crosses her arms and looks at her employees.

“Thank you all for entertaining our guest at the expense of your other tasks, but you may go now. I will take it from here.”

They get the point.

The trio are all gracious as they take their plates and leave (all of them grabbing a bit more from the generous spread before ducking out sheepishly). Elsa gives them her best facsimile of a smile as they exit. She shuts the door behind them with a definitive thud (though she knows that will do little to keep them from eavesdropping) before turning back to the root of this entire problem. The idea of her staff listening in makes her even more irritable. She hates being the center of attention.

Still, she turns and meets his gaze. “Mister Westergaard.”

He smiles. “Hans.”

He is seated on a cushioned bench that was custom built for the space. She half expects him to rest his elbows on the table and cradle his chin in his hands with his patronizing tone. She stiffens a bit, but tries not to acknowledge it.

She is a professional. She will at least see what he wants.

“I wasn’t expecting you.”

“You wouldn't let me take you to dinner so I brought you breakfast.”

She remembers their conversation after the dance, the granola bar she grabbed on the run, but also remembers her most ultimate truth and speaks the lie that must come from it: “I don't eat breakfast.”

“Everyone eats breakfast.”

“Well I don't.”

He scoffs, smile tugging at his wide mouth.

“Doesn't take bubble baths. Doesn’t dance. Doesn't date. Doesn't eat breakfast.” He rattles off the list and she feels her ears turning pink. Had he really listened that closely? “I know for a fact that at least twenty five percent of those statements is patently untrue. It makes me wonder about the other seventy-five percent." He dangles the bait but she doesn't take it. He shifts. "So if you don't do all of those things, what do you do?”

“I run this company.”

He nods his head slowly, keeping his clever eyes trained on hers. “And you are in charge of planning all of the events put together by this company?”

It is a leading question. She knows it. Doesn't want to feed into it, but is uncertain how exactly to skate around it.

“Anna and I are partners. Which of us take the lead on projects depends on what best fit our client's needs.”

He leans forward then, just enough that she can smell ulterior intent even as he assumes a professional posture.

“So your clients pick their point of contact. Interesting.”

She can feel him circling, and realization snaps his intent into place. She knows where this is leading, and a chill runs down her spine. If she had known he would be this persistent…

She presses forward, trying to correct her misstep.

“In part. The team at E & A Events all have a say as well. It is a team operation. We all have different, but equally important, roles.” She doesn’t like where this conversation is going, but she won’t surrender even as she drips on the floor. Even if she wants to shove him out the door and force him out of her mind and life.

“Equal but different roles, fascinating. I’d love to know more.”

She had practically gift wrapped that segue for him. Instead of getting him out the door she was helping him dig trenches. She could kick herself for it.

“The inner workings really aren’t that important or interesting to most.”

“Try me. Let's start with the big blonde guy. Christopher.”

“Kristoff,” she is just a little too quick, enjoying correcting him just a bit too much, and his eyebrow flicks in amusement. “Just Kristoff.”

“My sincerest apologies. Kristoff. What does he do?”

“He supervises and creates special builds for our events. Stages, tables, altars, set pieces… he also coordinates event set-up and tear down logistics and coordinates all parties involved in that.”

“Fascinating,” he says and she believes him. He seems to hang off of her every word and that makes her nervous. “What else? What about that Rapunzel girl?”

“IT, admin, and graphic design. She can build you an event website with sign up funnels all customized around a graphics suite she creates from your concepts as well as facilitate any paper needs you may have from invitations to menus.”

He hardly lets her breathe: “And Eugene?”

“Vendor liaison and customer service. He is excellent at negotiating with vendors to get you exactly what you want at a price that is fair for everyone as well as day-of coordinating.”

He had already gotten a front row seat of Eugene’s flair for customer service two days ago at Eric and Ariel’s wedding. She is certain he will pick up how far she is underselling each team member and the extent of what they do just because of that, but he doesn’t mention it. He keeps right on with his line of questioning.

“Anna?” He keeps it short, like not letting her pause for even a moment, like he is quizzing her.

Two can play that game. “As Creative Director she does whatever I don't do.”

He smiles then like he knows something she doesn't, “and you. What is it that you do?”

She has given these answers ten thousand times, has recited them all from rote already, knows exactly how to answer his questions but the words catch in her throat. She cannot help but feel she is walking into some sort of trap and she does not want to be caught. She cannot afford to, for either of their sakes.

She takes a breath. “I am Director of Operations and work closely with the designated point of contact to an event that is both seamless and completely authentic to the person or organization putting it on as well as manage several day-to-day operations.”

He leans back and rubs a hand across his chin. He smiles: “I like listening to you talk.”

Her brain scrambles. She does not understand what any of that has to do with anything. She stays professional.

“Thank you.”

“Tell me something else. Anything. Anything at all...”

The sensation of just being a specimen, like a bug under a microscope, makes her anxious. His eyes skate the length of her body and she is suddenly hyper aware of how her once shapeless dress now clings to each curve, how her eyes sting with the mascara leaking into them, how each inch of her body is still dripping on the floor. He seems to notice her discomfort with a sardonic glee, the fight she is waging to not tighten her arms over her chest and hide, to seem relaxed.

“I have told you all I can possibly think to tell you, Mister Westergaard. Why don’t you enlighten me about the specifics of what brought you here this morning?” She turns the table, done beating around the bush. She won’t be made to stand trial, barefoot, with clammy skin, in her own office. "Because if conversation is why you are here I can guarantee you there are much easier and better places you can find it."

His smile falls a bit, but he catches himself. That all too human crack bleeds through and she thinks she has hurt him. She steels her insides against remorse as his cool and controlled exterior snaps back in place.

His smile now wolfish.

“I am launching an initiative," he makes a broad sweeping gesture with his arms. "And I wasn't going to make too much of a fuss, but you all changed my mind.”

She expects him to continue but he doesn't. Instead he just watches her. She frowns.

"Mister Westergaard I don't know if I quite understand. We plan events - not initiatives. Perhaps you would be better served with a Public Relations firm or -"

"Those pieces are already in place." He smiles, just a bit crooked as if he has anticipated this rejection and has a counter prepared. “What I need is a party, and a good one, to draw the proper attention.”

She cannot help but wonder just what a man like this considered to be proper attention, but pushing against him isn’t getting her what she wants. So she leans in.

“Do you have a prospective date for this event?”

Normally these questions would be answered before she ever saw the client in person. Normally there would be boards and sketches and swatches of color and timelines and menus all laid out in coordinating binders for the initial presentation - drawn up from the initial phone consult. Her clients didn’t like wasting time. Neither does she, but here she is.

He tells her and it is all she can do not to choke on her own disbelief.

“That is only five weeks from now!”

“Thirty nine days to be exact.”

“Mister Westergaard - we have other clients, other events, that is hardly enough time to properly plan something of any size or scale.

“Please. It’s Hans,” he stands, smoothing the front of his tailored slacks as he goes and her mouth goes dry. "And you're starting to make me think you aren't interested in taking this on."

There is something a little too casual about how he stands, too relaxed, the drift of his eyes too lazy to be anything but sharply calculated. She can see it. She may not know him well, but she knows he isn’t one to leave something to chance. She didn’t bow to his charm so now he will prod her pride. It irks her to admit that it is working.

“It isn’t that at all.”

“Then what is it?”

She meets his gaze. The crisp lavender button down he wears brings out the green of his eyes and she knows if she was closer she would see the gold ring around his iris. Even with several feet between them she knows just how warm he would feel if she touched him, probably even warmer than she remembers with her rain chilled skin. She knows how he smells. The memory alone is enough to make her heart pound so hard that she is sure he can see her pulse in her throat.

He steps around the decadence-covered table and her calf cramps as she steels herself to not retreat.

“This is my job, Mister Westergaard.”

He comes closer, hands tucked into pockets. She stays, chin lifting.

“I’m aware.”

He stops a few feet in front of her, close enough now that all he would have to do is reach out and suddenly

Her words come out on a gust of breath. “I am not a challenge. This is not some sort of game.”

He cocks his head. “I’m not playing any game.”

She searches his face, warning bells screaming that there must be a lie, but all she finds is that blindingly sincere humanity that scrambles her thoughts.

“I have other events, other clients -”

“So is it a ‘no’”?

She swears he doesn’t move but he feels closer. The light in his eyes shifts and she cannot think. She cannot breathe.

She remembers what Anna said.

This is bigger than what she wants.

A client like Hans Westergaard could establish their company for life - and even if she has disconnected from the length of that concept she knows what it means for others. She knows the firm needs this as impossible and inconceivable as it seems.

“There will be some ground rules.” The fact she keeps the shake out of her voice is a moral victory.

His brow quirks. “You want to set rules for something that isn’t a game? Interesting.”

She feels his humor like a contagious warmth spreading through her chest and nearly chokes at the weight. This was not what she wanted, what she expected from today...

“Any relationship we have will be business only. I cannot take you on as a client if you do not agree to that.”

His wide mouth pulls to the side enough to be just shy of a smile: “Are you implying that I would engage your services for anything other than professional reasons?”

His words sends heat flooding up her neck despite her soggy state.

The same heat she sees in his cunning eyes, the same she knows she will feel if she touches him.

He is trying to fluster her and she knows it.

He is succeeding and he knows it.

She forces her calm: a skill she has mastered over the years.

"I am not implying anything. If we are to work together it is important we both handle ourselves in the appropriate manner."

“Of course. Absolutely.” He smiles, shifting his weight into a casual posture.

She knows she should ask about budget, about the theme, about the twenty five thousand things she clarifies with clients before even thinking about accepting them for their services - but she knows that this point none of that matters. At this point - all that matters is getting him out of her offices so she can think, work, breathe.

So she agrees, “absolutely.”

She takes the lead and extends a hand and he glances at it with a dark twinkle in his eye. He takes it is his and just as she expects his touch burns.

It is all she can do to not catch her breath as they shake on an agreement she can hardly understand.

She releases his hand as soon as she can, letting it sink back to her side as naturally as possible when all she wants is to yank it back and rub her palm on the cool damp fabric of her thigh.

But they need this.

This is something bigger than herself and her own comfort.

She has said ‘no’ to men before, has built those walls she has contrived to protect them from herself, but still those warning bells ring. Anna knows. She knows. This one is different.

But it is only thirty-nine days. What could happen?

The way he smiles at her across the space between them answers that question even if she chooses to ignore it.

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#best laid plans #helsa #kristanna #fanfiction #rapunzel #eugene #tangled #frozen #raven writes stuff

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r3b3lgrrrrrrrl · 4 years

Text

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 93) "We'll Take It!!"

@lovemythsworld

@creatureofthen1ght-v3

@crystalbaby12

@backoftheroomandnotbelonging

@5sosfam1dlover

@mgkobsessed

Luna finds herself swigging a bottle of Paul Masson in a small, smokey apartment in Bushwick. Taking a joint from a random person, she feels the rush of familiarity hit her as she absorbs the buzz of the room. There's nothing like being in a tiny hub of musicians exchanging ideas.

"You wanna do this?" Sam asks as Luna passes her the joint.

"Yeah... I don't have a fucking electric though. I've been using Colson's, remember." Luna responds, rubbing her forehead.

"Fuck... I am really unprepared." Luna realizes suddenly and begins to panic. Thinking of how she needs to get in touch with her grandmother.

Sam catches Luna's change in facial expression. With a loud whistle, she quiets the room.

"Who's got an electric I can borrow for a minute?" She shouts into the full kitchen.

"For what?" Floats into the air.

"To fucking play, ya douche bag." Sam scoffs. "What the fuck do you think for?"

"What shit are you causing now?" Mike asks Sam as he enters the room.

"Luna only has her acoustic. We need an electric TO PRACTICE ON." She shouts the last part in to the resumed room. "Ya got one?" She asks with irritation.

"Yo. Electric. Now." Mike hollers over her head.

"Mine's in the living room." A different voice offers.

Mike throws his hands up at the solution. Sam rolls her eyes as she grabs Luna's hand, pulling her towards the living room. Luna following with the bottle in tow.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The living room isn't posh by any means. There's amps and speakers. A drum kit is set up the way a suburban family would worship their TV. A ratty couch, lawn chairs and fold out tables are pushed to the sides all around it. It's dirty and has cockroaches with random pieces of artistic creations strawn everywhere. Making Luna happy to be home.

Luna pulls off her leather and hoodie. Dressed in a simple black T underneath. Kicking on the amp, she tunes the electric she finds. Sam getting comfortable behind the kit. Mike lighting a joint as his bass hangs off of his lean body. Luna can't help but notice him as they fuck around on their instruments for a few moments, finding their footings.

"Try it out?" She asks to their nods.

Plucking a few strings before she begins to strum specific notes. Flipping through D, C, A and G. Those being the primary chords of the song as Mike and Sam follow behind her lightly with the same melody. Luna comes in with her voice low and haunting.

🎼Tell me//What's so//Entitled//Aaaabout//Yoooou//Treating women//Cheap//Like//Yooooou need//Toooo//Why can't you//See we're//Just//As Strong as//Yooou//Come on Boy//I wanna//Hear you//Speak your//Truuuuuth🎶

The song follows a soft/hard formula. Luna's voice adds a taunting sweetness to the aggressive lyrics but rips through certain biting ones as she wails with inquisitive anger. Sam and Mike throwing out equal amounts of fierce energy through their instruments with her.

They run through IT ten or fifteen times. Tweaking different notes and lines together. Each time playing louder and with more raw passion as they become comfortable with each other and the song.

The electricity is pumping, creating a surprisingly mixed group roaring along with them by time they finish up. Many singing the song. All singing the chorus. There's definitely something undeniable in the air.

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Taking a break from practicing, Luna needs a little breathing space. Sam follows her downstairs for a cigarette. Mike behind them.

"This is either gonna be a hit or you're about to become America's Hottest FemiNazi." He declares, lighting his own Marlboro.

Sam glares at him as she pulls on her Camel. Luna just stares. Contemplating his words.

"Probably the latter, but I don't give a FUCK." Luna finally answers with a shrug before taking a drag. "They wanted a second song... They're gonna get a second song. It's not my problem if people are uncomfortable with the truth."

"I hope one of those Assholes from Chicago sees it too." Luna thinks to herself. Having practiced the song with Sam and Mike, she feels confident in how they sound and feel together. Catching the attention of others while practicing the same song over and over, she feels good about their stage presence. Performing comes naturally to Luna and she enjoys it with all her heart. She does not enjoy the rest of the nonsense that comes along with it though. "Fuck... I hope she keeps it light..." Her mind trails off. Truly only worried about the interview. Luna doesn't mind discussing politics but she hates giving up any details on her personal life and she knows that's what Ellen is going to want.

---------------------------------------------------

Colson's somewhere on his way to Arizona. It's late. Casie's sleeping and he misses Luna. He had tried to call her but it rang straight through.

Stepping into the bathroom, he Snaps her. Hoping to get her attention as he wonders what she's doing.

"I fucking hate when she goes..." He sighs to himself. The double edged sword of loving an independent woman.

Looking at his schedule, he begins to formulate a plan.

--------------------------------------------------

Back at Sam's, Luna changes out of her clothes. Lighting a joint, she finally reaches for her phone. Texting her grandmother about her guitar.

Finding a missed call and Snap from Colson. Missing him, she calls first. With no answer she opens the Snap, immediately snickering at it's content.

"This Motherfucker...." She thinks as she shakes her head with a huge smile and Snaps him back.

------------------------------------------------

Colson wakes up as soon as The Bus stops to a sleeping Casie and Luna's Snap. He's in Phoenix, AZ. Her, New York City.

Looking at his phone, his dick and heart rage for his woman.

"Take a shower and handle your business." He groggily coaxes himself out of bed.

Hitting the single shower, Colson strokes his massive hard on away. Thinking of Luna as he pulls on his cock. Imagining the different times he's fucked her in it's tiny stall. Her strong thighs and tight pussy wrapped around him.

Eyes closed, leaned against the wall, he strokes harder and faster. Images flying through his mind. He cums with the jolt of the memory of her teeth sinking into his neck as she had consumed his entire being.

Heady and satisfied, Colson steps out of the shower. Still missing Luna as he burns and snorts the amount of Adderall that it'll take to start his day and mission.

--------------------------------------------------

Luna is so grateful to see her grandmother in MidTown. Not just because she has her electric guitar. Even though Luna's still pissed at Patti for booking her, she LOVES her Mom-Mom. It's been harder to be away from her than she'll readily admit.

"Hi!" Luna shines bright as she hugs the older punk.

The busy City streets whirl around them. All is silent in their hug. Making Luna a bit more happier to be home. Holding hands with her Mom-Mom, Sam and Mike follow behind them.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Upstairs they're greeted by Ellen personally. Taping in NYC, she's taking full advantage of the convenient request.

"I'm so sorry to hear of Porscha's mother." Patti tells her friend as she grips her hands.

"Thank you. She's doing much better." Ellen squeezes her friend back.

"You ready, Kiddo?" She asks, turning to Luna.

"I don't know... How bad you gonna fuck with me?" She blatantly asks.

"Enh... Ya never know!!" Ellen grins as she wiggles away.

---------------------------------------------------

"Come on, Peanut... We gotta hustle." Colson tells his daughter as he holds her hand.

With only their carry ons, they move quickly through LaGuardia. Ashleigh had confused the dates when talking to Luna, thinking they would be father west. Colson and Casie hopping a flight before daybreak. They're doing a lot of traveling today.

--------------------------------------------------

Dressed in a baby blue slip dress, fishnets and Docs. Luna's hair is messy while she performs Nightmare on only her acoustic. Not far from the way she'd played the SNL gig with Ashley and The Boys, it's softer with only her guitar and voice wrapping around the strong lyrics.

The performance is simple and incredibly raw with no backing track. Shocking anyone who's never heard her stripped down, Luna's vocals are unforgiving as they stand alone. The emotional layers to her notes making the message loud and clear.

"WOWZA!!!" Ellen approaches her clapping after she finishes.

Looking into the camera, Ellen tells her audience They'll Be Right Back With That Brooklyn Bitch. Luna taking her guitar off and standing up from the stool she'd been sitting on.

"That was amazing!" Ellen exclaims to Luna as they take a commercial break.

"Thank you!" Luna beams as she gives her a hug.

Walking over to check on her grandmother, she can't find her. Only Sam and Mike. They don't know where she is. Being called back for the interview, Luna shrugs it off.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"And we're back with That Brooklyn Bitch." Ellen ques them from the commercial break. "Who just performed her #1 single Nightmare featuring Halsey." Ellen turns to Luna. "Congratulations. It's such an incredibly powerful song. Now, I understand all the proceeds go to the Yellowhammer organization? How'd you become involved with that?" Ellen asks Luna before looking down at her notes and back up again.

Smiling, Luna Thanks Ellen. She feels so uncomfortable in the bright studio and white chair.

"Yes. All proceeds go through Yellowhammer.... Uhm, Halsey and I linked up with them last month when Alabama decided that a group of men should have the final say on what happens with things that they don't have." Luna states.

Leaning back and moving both of her hands in circular motions to showcase her abdomen and vagina. Making sure to drive her point home.

"There are only THREE Planned Parenthoods currently functioning in the ENTIRE state. They are being used to provide anything from birth control to STI testing to cancer screenings. Since the government wanted to pull their funding, Yellowhammer has been able to provide the cash flow to keep them open. So, THANK YOU to everyone who has DONATED. STREAMED. Or BOUGHT. ANY. Of the Nightmare merch. WHICH SOLD OUT!!! THANK YOU!!!" She exclaims, moving her hands around in amazement.

Luna looks directly into the camera with her words. She may not like it but as said before, she knows how to speak to people. And give good plug.

"Everyone who has supported this song is in some way, in turn, supporting the women of Alabama, and the US, the RIGHT to make choices for ourselves and the separation of body and state... Which shouldn't even be a THING. Sooo.... again, THANK YOU." Luna says firmly with immense gratitude still talking with her hands. Emphasizing certain words as the audience applauds her. If she's going to be forced onto television, Luna figures she'll utilize it the best she can. Ellen applauds her also before digging into the celebrity gossip.

"The video is pretty iconic too. You've got A LOT of powerful women with you.... How did you get so many famous faces to match up their schedules to shoot that?" She asks with intrigue.

It wasn't just Luna. Or Ashley and Luna. It was all of them and it was pretty fucking amazing. Setting an unknown president inside people, women and the Industry that weekend.

"That was an act of the universe, honestly. They passed the law Friday morning. Halsey and I had the song written within an hour and recorded it before the end of the day. We both sent out rough copies that night to all of our friends, inviting them and anyone else who wanted to come to the shoot the next day. Like, no one's manager talked to anyone else's. We just had a major group chat going on." Luna laughs. "That EXPLODED.... I mean, I don't know Beyoncé personally.... so when she arrives on set unannounced, you KNOW that this thing you're doing is WAAAY bigger than you thought it was." Luna looks at Ellen with eyes wide in pure wonder and satisfaction.

Ellen nods. She's always liked Luna and respects how she seems to follow in both of her grandparents social rebellion.

"That's pretty amazing and as you all know... It speaks volumes..." Ellen says before Luna cuts her off.

"It is. And it's exciting on so many levels because if this song can speak SO loudly and it's context resonates so hard that it's at the forefront of the pop music... That means we're TALKING. That means we know there's a problem to fix and we're angry about it. And Ellen, you know, with anger comes change. That's what we want. Change. Equality. Simple fundamental rights. Girls don't just wanna have fun. We wanna... We want to. And DESERVE to stand beside those who think they're inclined to make major decisions that effect tons of people who aren't like them." Luna shrugs as she ends her stance.

Not realizing how quickly Luna can bend a conversation to her will, Ellen struggles a bit to regain control of the interview.

"No. What you're doing is admirable. You are me but for women's rights." Ellen let's out a light chuckle. "So.... I do wanna play Five Truths with you. I'm gonna ask you five questions and you have to answer them truthfully." Ellen in informs Luna.

"Motherfucker...." Luna thinks as she shakes her head at Ellen with a nervous grin.

"Number One.... And remember I've known you long enough to know if you're lying." Ellen smirks at her.

Luna can't help but roll her eyes as she sighs.

"Number One?" She asks Ellen as she perks up her shoulders and sets her hands in her lap.

"Nuuuumber One... What's your real name?" Ellen stares her in the eyes.

"What??" Luna asks, completely caught off guard.

"What is your legal name?" Ellen cocks her eye.

Luna glares at Ellen.

"Luna Adelaide Smith." She answers leerily.

"I knew that..." Ellen smirks.

"I KNOW you did." Luna shoots back sarcastically.

"I had to see if you'd tell the truth or not." Ellen brushes her off with thrown hands. "Number Two... What's your favorite thing to eat?"

"Cheeseburgers." Luna answers without a thought.

"Number Three.... What happened to your grandmother's pottery bowl?"

With this Luna reels back with a scowl. Now understanding what this fucking game is about. Sighing, she shakes her head with a smile.

"You guys think you're slick." She snarks back.

Turning to the audience. Thumb jerked towards Ellen. Luna scans the room for Patti. Surprisingly, she still can't find her. Sending a weird feeling of What? Why? And Where The Fuck Are You??? Pulsating through Luna.

"She's friends with my Mom-Mom. What you're witnessing here, is a homemade lie detector test. On TV. YAY ME." She chuckles with an eye roll. Luna flashes her jazz hands. "For the PARENTS out there." She continues. Now pointing. Finger guns flaring at anyone in her range. Live or recorded. "NO. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME." Luna deadpans with another light laugh, hands thrown up as her brilliant smile shines with irritated intensity. "We won't tell you anything." Her shrug showcasing her honesty and irritation.

Ellen leans up grinning. Knowing she's been caught. Looking up at Patti, she proceeds.

"Five Truths...." She reminds Luna with a chuckle.

"Fine." Luna sighs. "My grandma took a trip to London when I was like 15yrs old. I was really irresponsible and had a house party. Some kids broke it on accident. I'm really sorry, Mom-Mom." She answers.

Only giving the details she wants, as always. Ellen glances into the audience to her friend's nod of approval. What Luna didn't reveal is that she took part in the breaking a also. Trying to turn it into a bong. Kids do stupid shit.

"Okay... Number Four. What's your biggest fear?" Ellen continues.

"Deep sea diving." Luna answers.

"Really?" Ellen looks at her inquisitively.

"Yeah... The idea of not being able to reach the surface with an empty tank freaks me out. I even get nervous coming up in the pool off the high di..." Luna tries to explain as the top from the table between them flies up.

"RAAAWWWWWWRRRR!!!!" Shouts someone as they burst out of it.

"MOTHAFU..." Explodes out of Luna's mouth. Shocking the shit out of her, she jumps back in her seat. Drawing up both fists, she almost swings before she recognizes the laugh.

Ellen watches as Luna freaks out, exploding into laughter herself.

"BUUUUNNY!!!" Luna shouts in shock and relief as Colson climbs out of the box.

Laughing, he smothers her with his body and kisses. Confused, she kisses him back before pulling away.

"What are you..." Luna looks around perplexed. "Where's Case?" She asks as he perches himself on the arm of her chair.

"She's with your grandmom." He kisses her head after pointing into the crowd.

Sure enough, Casie is sitting right next to Patti. Grinning and waving at Luna.

"Heey Dilla!!" Luna exclaims when she finds them. "What are you guys doing here?" She asks, turning back to Colson.

"Ash mixed up the dates, so we popped out to support you and check out the listing." Colson explains, melting Luna's heart.

"I fucking love you." Luna whispers as she touches his face and reaches up for another kiss.

"Aren't you two cute!!" Ellen gushes while still laughing. "We'll get back to that but first... Last question. Number Five.... Who is the most influential person in your life?" Ellen continues to question Luna.

"These bitches are ridiculous...." Luna thinks to herself.

"Am I supposed to..." Luna tries to ask a question.

"Five Truths..." Ellen let's escape through her laughter. "Most influential person in your life?"

"What the fuck is happening???" Luna is so completely out of her element.

"Uh... Crap... There's so many who make me, Me." She looks up at Colson. "But... I mean, my Mom-Mom. She top notch gave me my core being." Luna answers honestly.

Ellen smiles before teasing her about saying That just to make Patti happy.

"I'm not. I love my Mom-Mom, Man." Luna shakes her off with a pure grin.

"So, you love your grandmom. What about this guy?" Ellen asks pointing at Colson. "I heard you two are getting married soon..."

Luna looks up at a beaming Colson. He's sitting on the left side of her chair, where he jumped out to scare her, right arm resting carelessly around her where it belongs. Luna can't get a word out.

"Yeah." Colson answers for the both of them.

This perks Ellen up. She loves unexpected details.

"Oooh yeah?? When you kids gonna do it?" She asks the question most of the world already knows.

"Fuuuuuck my liiiiiiife....." Luna thinks, feeling incredibly exposed. "There are people I still need to tell....." Her mind worries.

"EstFest. Come one. Come all....." He looks down at Luna.

Her hands are between her thighs and he can feel the anxiety tensing in her shoulders as he notices her knee rocking. Colson strokes the back of her hair, calming her soul.

"What is this EstFest?" Ellen inquires.

Colson goes on to describe the festival. Detailing Mod's set and the extra day added. Along with the waterslide and thousands of other activities. Ellen commenting that it sounds a lot crazier than her own wedding.

"You two have a Top 10 single also, correct?" Ellen is now interviewing them together.

"Yes. Bad Things." Luna finally speaks. "It's off his Hotel Diablo album which drops July 5th." Always plugging. Making Colson kiss the top of her head again with pride.

"Think we could get a performance?" Ellen coaxes.

"And drop the other?" Luna bargains.

"No." Ellen shuts her right down.

Looking back up at Colson, Luna shrugs. They discuss On Air with Ellen how they'd do it before she takes them out for another commercial break. Promising a performance to her excited audience.

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"I can't believe you're here!!" Luna tells Colson as she wraps her arms around his waist, snuggling into his chest.

"I go where you go, Kitten." He grins. Lifting her chin to plant a solid kiss on her lips.

"Fuck, I love him." She thinks as his words stick to her heart.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"And now... That Brooklyn Bitch and Machine Gun Kelly with Bad Things." Ellen introduces them.

Luna and Colson are sat together behind a piano that the producers had found for them. Exchanging knowing looks, he pecks her cheek as she begins to play.

🎼I know//I'm outta my head//But I haven't lost my mind//How is that you know//The Bad Things I like//Oh Bunny, I can't explain it//What can I say//It's kismet, Ain't it?🎶

Luna opens with the chorus, Colson coming in strong behind. His hand is on her thigh as she continues playing the melody on the piano. They share the mic when they sing to each other about tattoos and Wanting Each Other Forever.

Their performance is really sweet and incredibly intimate. Both ab libbing lyrics at different points. Grinning at each other from start to finish. Anyone can feel the genuine love that radiates between the two of them.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Back in the Hot Seat, Luna and Colson are now sat on a loveseat together talking to Ellen.

She asks how they met. Colson happily telling the story of The Girl in the Cheetah Print Coat as Luna blushes.

"But you really only met in April and you're getting married in July?" Ellen grills them.

Looking at Colson, Luna shrugs with a smile. "When you know you know." She answers.

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Back OnStage, now with Sam and Mike. Luna tunes her guitar as the lights go down. Stepping up to the mic she begins the simple chords.

They start off low and haunting. Luna curling her voice around the lyrics like a sly cat.

🎼Tell me//What's so//Entitled//Aaaabout//Yoooou//Treating women//Cheap//Like//Yooooou need//Toooo//Why can't you//See//We're just as Strong//As yooou//Come on Boy//I wanna//Hear you//Speak your//Truuuuuth🎶

Keeping with the beat Luna changes the tone of her voice. Making it sound sweet and inquisitive around the nasty lyrics.

🎶Did we//Ask you for IIIIT//When we begged//Was it//Niiice//While we//We're asking//For IIIT//Did we//Beg you twiiice🎶

Sam and Mike kick in a little harder as the pop punk melody flows. Luna's voice picking up a hint of aggression. Growling certain lyrics.

🎶Anytime we try to//Go out and have//Some fuuuun//We can feel//Your eyes//Wishing for//Xray visiooooon🎶

Belting now, Luna's voice is raw. Angry and taunting. The Band roaring behind them.

🎶MOTHER NATURE//GRANTED YOU//A GUUUUUNNN//WHEN WILL YOU// LEARN TO CONTROL//YOUR WEAPOOOOON🎶

Colson is standing off to the side with Ellen. "She's fucking incredible." He thinks as he watches her rip through the song strong and confident.

The Band drops down low as Luna softens. Pretty voice still holding it's snarl.

🎶Did we//Ask you for IIIIT//When we begged//Was it//Niiice//While we//We're asking//For IIIT//Did we//Beg you twiiice🎶

Mike hits a small bass solo as Luna hums along with him. Sam and her jump back in with him in time for Luna to hit the unforgiving bridge.

🎶They say//If you//Dress like That//It means//You waaant IT//And//I can dooo//What III want//Toooo//And//If you//Act like Thaaaat//It means//You waaant IT//So I can//Taaaake from//Yooou🎶

Luna runs a guitar solo over top of Sam and Mike before they kick in their hardest. Each note and lyric getting stronger and more raw as they play. Luna wailing her point across.

🎶BUT//We're not//Asking for IIIT//We just wanna//Live our liiives//You're who's//Begging for IIIIT//Learn to stop//At once//No need to ask//TWIIICE//YEAH//WE'VE BEEN ASKING// FOOOR IIIT//WE'VE BEEN BEGGING//OUR WHOLE LIIIIIVES//WE'RE DONE//ASKING FOOOR IIIT//DEMANDING OUR RESPECT//WE'RE DONE PLAYING//Niiicce//Ooohh//Oooohhh//Ooohhh🎶

The tune coming to an abrupt soft end. Luna cooing over the last few chords. Ellen is shocked by Luna's performance as she claps them out to another commercial break.

"Holy shit, Luna." She says approaching her with wild eyes. "I don't know if The Network will let us run that."

"Be a shame if they didn't." Luna simply shrugs.

Colson comes up from behind, lifting her off the ground. Layering the back of her neck with kisses. "You were fucking amazing!!" He breathes into her hair.

Turning around, she thanks him with a warm embrace and deep lip lock. Just as Casie and Patti come up to them.

"Looney!!" Casie shouts as Luna turns to squeeze her tightly.

"Oh, LunaBug. I'm so proud of you!!" Patti gushes as she hugs her grandmother.

Once Luna changes and they collect their things, they say Goodbye to Ellen before hitting the street.

--------------------------------------------------

Outside, Luna introduces Colson to Mike. They make pleasantries as Patti hails a cab.

The next stop on Colson and Casie's Traveling Adventure is Brooklyn Heights to check out the brownstone Luna's interested in.

Luna and Sam say GoodBye to Mike. Luna Thanking him for His Help. Mike telling her No Problem, to Hit Him Up if She Ever Needs a Bassist.

Colson watches and feels a burst of jealousy when Mike pulls her into his body with one arm wrapped around her tiny waist. He glances at Colson over her head as he squeezes her tightly against him.

"Did that motherfucker just...." Colson's brain is about to explode as Patti ushers them into the cab.

---------------------------------------------------

Monica meets them at the brownstone. It is beautiful. Newly renovated with the original wood molding and pocket doors. Casie runs through laughing as her voice and footsteps vibrate off the high ceilings, wooden floors and natural acoustics.

Sam wanders after Casie as the realtor shows Colson, Luna, Monica and Patti specific amenities and features. There's a small hidden yard in the back. Tucked under Colson's arm, Luna thinks it's perfect.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Christen it?" Colson asks with a devious grin as he scoops Luna up.

They're in the master bathroom. Kissing all over her neck as she wraps her legs around his waist. Pulling her closer to him, he kisses her mouth as I Missed Yous escape between the two of them.

"I caaaan't." Luna pouts. "I'm on my period..."

"I hate that fucking thing." Colson complains.

"I know, Bunny..." Luna says as she slips off the sink. "Doesn't mean I can't do Bad Things to you." She continues coyly.

Undoing his belt and jeans, Colson shimmies out of them. Luna running her hands up his bare thighs as she kisses on his collarbone. Looking up into his eyes, she's just as devious.

"We can still christen it." She grins.

Pulling his briefs down with her as she drops to her knees. Colson leans back against the wall as Luna licks up, down and all around his hard cock. Soaking him before slipping his huge member into her warm mouth.

"Ahhhh. Fuuuuck, Kitten...." He groans in pleasure as he runs his fingers through her hair.

Using both her hands to work his sopping dick, Luna glides him along the sides and rim of her mouth. Rolling her tongue on his head as he reaches the entrance. Sucking fiercely. Pushing him in deeper when he hits the back of her throat. Holding him there as she sucks with force and hums. Knowing that's the ticket.

"Fuuuuckkkkk." Colson cums in her mouth.

"Hey Dad..." Casie's voice floats through the bathroom door as it begins to open.

Scared shitless, Colson throws his left arm against the door. Luna's still on her knees. Slightly paralyzed with a bit his cum still lingering on her bottom lip.

"Be right out, Case!! Go find Pat!!" He shouts looking down at Luna.

"Okay..." The little girl's voice drifts away.

Looking up at him, Luna sucks the remainder of him off her lip. Even though he just came, her actions make him ache to be inside of her.

"When the FUCK are you gonna learn to lock the God Damn door?" She asks as she shakes her head with a smirk.

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"WE'LL TAKE IT!!" Luna and Colson say in unison as they come bounding down the stairs.

"Yeah?" Asks the realtor. "Do you still wanna see the stu..." Luna cuts her off with her hand up. Knowing she wants to keep that space to herself.

"Not today. We want this one though definitely." She says confirming her and Colson's wants.

"Okay...." The realtor nods.

They talk a bit about closing. Luna not feeling the need to pay attention while Monica works out logistics. Agreeing both of their names will be on the deed, they expect to be able to close before the end of the month.

Strolling around together, Luna's arm is around Colson's waist. His around her shoulders as they admire their new home.

"We have a home, Bunny." She beams up at him.

"And pets..." He reminds her.

"Oooh fuck, yeah we do. I mean if they're still alive..." She realizes with worry.

"They are. Jillian, my cleaning lady cleans their bowl and feeds them each week when she comes by." He reassures her.

"Really???" She looks at him with undying love. "You're so fucking awesome." She declares as she tip toes to kiss him.

------------------------------------------------

Back out onto the pavement, Casie looks up at the brownstone. "We're gonna live here?" She asks.

"Kinda..." Luna begins to answer. "It's like Daddy's house in LA... Now when we come to NY, you'll have your own bedroom instead of us having to sleep in a hotel." She explains.

"Cool." Casie nods. "So now I live in Cleveland, LA AND NEW YORK CITY." She grins.

Luna living for and loving the content on her Dilla's face. "Yup. You're bi-coastal, Baby!!!" She says with a laugh.

"What's that mean?" Casie questions her as a cab pulls up.

Having to be back in Phoenix before 8P, Colson scoots Casie into the back seat with promises of explaining once their on their way after she's hugged Luna.

Taking her into his arms, Colson kisses Luna lightly. A pleased smile playing on his lips.

"Pets. A home. Marriage. You think you can handle all this Mainstream Living, there Riot Grl?" He teases Luna in between kisses.

"With you. Absolutely. We do what we want. Twist Norman Rockwell to fit our punk view." She grins as she kisses him back.

There aren't any other words that need to be said between them. One Look holds it all. They kiss each other firmly and passionately before separating.

Colson touching her key as him and Casie make their way to JFK back to Arizona. Luna rolling her padlock between her fingers as she hops in a separate cab with Sam and her grandmother. They're headed to see about wedding dresses.

---------------------------------------------------

To be continued......

22 notes · View notes

faucetcup2 · 4 years

Text

Can My Cat Rest With Me?

Content

Pet Dog Resting.

Top 5 Boarding Options For Your Family Pet.

Take Into Consideration A Cat Sitter.

Welcome To The Cats Hotel.

With A Range Of Holiday Accommodation We Can Cater For Private Pet Cats, Or Small Households.

C Urious To Know What Some Of Our Homesitters Stood Up To Throughout Lock

Others will certainly squat and make urine pools outside their can. This might be arbitrary items like sofas or plastic bags, or the item they're jealous of. Sometimes, the target may be a things the animal or person they are envious of utilizes frequently. For example, if your cat envies of the brand-new pet dog, it may note the canine's bed.

Sadly, feline splitting up anxiousness typically goes unnoticed till it ends up being severe. Unlike pets with separation stress and anxiety, pet cats will certainly not trash your whole house or frustrate the next-door neighbors with excessive barking and growling. Yet, your cat might begin acting even more clingy, quit using the can, and also meow exceedingly.

Short messages or phone calls with the cat caretaker will certainly aid ensure you that your children are changing well to your lack. Prior to leaving on your trip, draw up comprehensive guidelines for the cat sitter. In addition to feeding as well as litter-box maintenance details, include each cat's reward as well as toy choices.

Envious pet cats often hunger for attention as well as are clingier than an indifferent cat, as well as sometimes they can act out. While it can be aggravating, there are steps you can take to quit the jealous actions. The secret is trying to discover why your cat is feeling this way. As long as your cat does not mind doing such a thing there in no damage in doing so and might be valuable to them as it provides their life more selection.

A cat is additionally in a happy-place when their ears are facing ahead, yet slanted back just a little. Sudden expansion of the eyes shows they are exceptionally delighted. Cattery 365 will additionally brush various other pet cats or perhaps lick their proprietor-- this additionally reveals trust fund as well as a positive partnership. While purring is not constantly a foolproof indicator of a joyful cat, essentially, it can be a sign of feline contentment or even bliss.

Family Pet Sitting.

Felines might be reproduced as a pastime, or on a business basis where they are sold for earnings. A veterinarian will be considered to be keeping a boarding facility if, at the time of boarding, the cat is not under treatment or needed to board as component of that therapy.

Plus, they can get in all type of trouble when left residence alone. Dangling cables, poisonous plants, chemicals, plastic bags, paper shredders-- all these things position huge hazards to your little feline traveler. You will be asked to provide proof of up-to-date vaccinations before your cat can be boarded at any cat cattery.

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Jealous cats may likewise invade your personal space while you are holding a brand-new baby or video game controller. They may attempt to sit on your lap while you snuggle with your loved one rather than them. An absence of personal room, beds, or various other personal belongings can likewise motivate jealous habits if a cat feels intimidated by one more pet. Poor socializing as a kittycat might lead a cat to end up being codependent on you and display indicators of envy at times.

As I stated prior to however they require to get utilized to this kind of point initially. You might want ask your good friend to spray their home with scent spray a minimum of two times a day so they really feel much more calm when you're not about or simply use a pheromone collar to make it easier for you and them. If you are going to bring your kittycat to a friends house its probably an excellent concept to understand exactly how to take them there properly to begin with. The very best way to do this is to put them within a cat carrier. Kitties don't have as much life experience yet so they are a great deal extra open to this sort of thing.

If your cat is on daily medication, we more than happy to administer this drug - this includes insulin shots, as long as your cat is fairly delighted to obtain it/them. However, we book the right to apply a little fee for providing drugs that are, or prove to be either extremely time consuming and/or by their actual nature are tough to carry out. The nature of any medication needs to be talked about at the time of the reservation.

And as contact with your family pet decreases stress and anxiety and also slows your heart rate, it can also do you great. Nonetheless, some advice should be complied with before you both calm down for the evening. You ought to additionally see to it that your cat obtains adequate energised play.

You need to offer your cat lots of interest when you're residence and also offer her with playthings and also entertainment when you're not around. Make it an indicate choose as well as pet your cat when you return or anytime you have a totally free moment. Some cats will just spray onto wall surfaces and also other vertical surfaces.

Heating will certainly guarantee your cat fits whatever the climate. Originally, the pair had 2 felines-- Bonnie and Clyde, as well as previously, when they went on vacation their neighbors made use of to feed the cats, which were happy to be left.

You can talk to your cat remotely with a Petcube Bites 2, an animal electronic camera that doubles as a reward dispenser. The length of time you can leave your cat alone relies on your pet dog's individuality and also behaviors.

Leading 5 Boarding Options For Your Pet Dog.

No get in touch with is allowed in between pet cats from different "households", not surprisingly, this is a licensing condition of boarding catteries. There have been some elements of life that have actually gone back to normality. We'll all be keeping our hopes up that the circumstance can remain to boost. The last few months has actually impacted whatever, including our cats. In this issue, we check out the tradition of lockdown on the nation's pet cats-- it makes a genuine interesting read, specifically for people who love pet cats as high as the Your Cat area.

List their favored tasks together with any particular behavior concerns. Note exactly how your sitter can contact you and also your veterinarian while you are traveling.

Nevertheless, as for herpesvirus, vaccination is still suggested to decrease the regularity as well as intensity of professional signs. Feline panleukopenia infection triggers a serious and also often fatal disease. Vaccination is extremely efficient as well as has actually fortunately reduced the incidence of the disease significantly. Nonetheless, where susceptible populaces of pet cats exist, it is highly infectious.

Think About A Cat Sitter.

Your cat might ask you for food by massaging around your legs and meowing, leading you to their bowl. From abundant sprints and also feline wrestling matches to soothe paw patting of the functions, these spirited tasks suggest a happy cat.

If we are alerted of a recognized FIV-positive cat, we will certainly aim to provide accommodation away from various other cats, so it will with any luck minimize the threat of your cat capturing any secondary infection.

It is approximated that around 4% of the UK feline population is FIV-positive, your cat's condition can only be developed by blood tests, possibly triggered by some signs being displayed.

If you do take this choice, always utilize a family pet caretaker that has either been directly recommended by somebody you trust fund, or that originates from a firm that makes all the essential look for you.

This applies not only to their everyday regimen however additionally to their area and also the make-up of the family.A cat that instantly has to deal with solid changes can obtain quite baffled and also stressed out.

An alternative is to spend for a professional family pet sitter, suggesting a person either calls in on a regular basis to feed and socialise with your cat, or will certainly live in your house while you are away.

The appeal of a live-in caretaker is that your cat will certainly entertain at all times as well as your residence is looked after.

However, there is presently no injection for Feline Immunodeficiency Infection in the UK, although, you can minimize their possibilities of having FIV via battling by having them neutered.

Just in situation something unanticipated happens, hide an additional key outside your house or provide one to a trusted neighbor. Candace Elise Hoes is a family pet sitter as well as blogger at Katie's Feline. She is a grad of the MFA Composing Program at The Golden State University of the Arts. Although it sounds macabre, in some cases it can be valuable to permit the making it through pet to say "farewell" to the body after a hairy close friend has actually passed away.

They will ready out a minimal room that a cat is entitled to when boarded, this must be followed when preparing the structure. If you take control of an existing company where several of the problems will be tough to abide by, the authority will most likely make some allowances. If they provided a permit to unsuitable candidates and something went wrong they would certainly get blamed. If you are developing a new service you should adhere to all the standards as well as guidelines when you send your cattery strategies, then you can look for the permit.

Invite To The Cats Hotel.

If the cattery has a larger family unit readily available this can be made use of. Some catteries can open cat flaps between smaller sized units to allow felines make use of the whole location. Updated inoculations versus upper respiratory tract condition and also feline transmittable enteritis are essential to decrease any threat of cross infection in the cattery. A safety flow encloses the entries to every cat's quarters, enabling very easy regain of felines ought to they be intent on escape. Outside runs likewise give boosted air flow that avoids the spread of microorganisms and infections within the cattery.

No matter Cattery365.co.uk , felines do obtain lonesome when they are left ignored for extended periods of time. They are social beings that form solid bonds with their owners. When their demands for companionship are not fulfilled, cats can end up being depressed. As independent as they are, cats still hunger for attention as well as communication.

As a worried cat moms and dad, you might have asked yourself whether your cat is happy. And also while each cat is a private, they may show happiness in various means.

If they are fine with mosting likely to your close friend residence It might even be good for them as they aren't maintained in the exact same location at all times and gives them much more psychological stimulation. Hi, exists anything in composing that states licenses are meant to be transferrable like you said? They may vary a little from area to location depending upon the council involved.

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Although your cat will probably follow your body clock, she may be active during the evening. To guarantee your rest is not interrupted, it is suggested to give her enough interest in the day and to not lock her in the room with you when you go to bed. Lastly, for good hygiene, comb your cat routinely and also treat her versus bloodsuckers such as fleas and also ticks. Sharing a bed is a sign of distance, both for your cat as well as for you.

The most common adverse effects are very mild, and consist of sleepiness, inappetence or inflammation at the injection site. More marked negative effects may include throwing up, diarrhea, lameness, fever, indicators of respiratory system tract infection, or swellings at the site of shot. Kittycats and also young felines appear to be most likely to develop problems than older cats. An additional damaging impact that might be reported is lack of efficiency. Whilst this might result from genuine vaccine failure, it might also be because of infection prior to inoculation, or a lacking immune system causing an inability by the cat to install an immune response.

If the boarding center is advertised as ancillary to the vet's primary organization, the establishment will require to be accredited and also checked by their neighborhood authority and also fulfill the conditions as per any type of other boarding facility. All establishments boarding pet cats within the United Kingdom are required to be licensed and examined by the local authority's Environmental Health and wellness department under the Pet Boarding Establishments Act 1963. Accredited facilities will have a duplicate of their permit prominently displayed as part of their problems of permit. Side effects from vaccinations are very unusual, specifically in view of the countless doses that are administered annually.

Like herpesvirus, calicivirus causes cat influenza, commonly with dental ulceration. Felines may either free themselves of the illness or become chronically contaminated. Many different pressures of calicivirus exist, with the vaccinations being focused on the much more serious strains. The existence of various strains, as well as the capability of felines to become constantly infected describes why some pet cats may still show proof of calicivirus infection, even though they have actually been immunized.

Even a short visit from a familiar, trusted cat-sitter can separate the day and also aid your cat feel more safe. A responsible person who can spend a hr approximately with your cat can make all the difference if you need to be away from home for a longer period. No, it's not vicious unless your cat is alone for extensive time periods.

Our feline close friends are at their cutest this time around of year bringing them can include a bunch of happiness for us also. I think leaving my cats at home is best for she does not such as the auto and much less anxiety for both people. I'm just disappearing for a little over 1 day however its the lengthiest we have actually left the cat, he does not such as when we most likely to function or head out all evening, hes a bit of an anxious cat so I am a little bit worried concerning him. Apartments need to be huge enough to consist of shelves the cats can climb to, puts to conceal, as well as room for playthings and also a bed. The placement of the feeding stations is important-- the apartments require to be big sufficient to make sure that they are not placed beside the litter boxes.

It's likewise a great concept, in case of emergencies, to give the cattery with your vet's details, your cat's silicon chip details and also a record of any kind of pertinent veterinary history. If your cat gets on any kind of drug, make sure you leave clear guidelines on just how and also when to administer them, along with anything you 'd like them to understand about nutritional or behavioral problems. Make sure that the boarding cattery is accredited, as that means they need to stick to various laws pertaining to health and safety. It is very important to do your study to find a trustworthy, accredited cattery with experienced, caring staff and also great, tidy, comfy centers. The International Cat Care internet site provides some outstanding suggestions on picking a boarding cattery, in addition to questions to ask when you go to.

With A Series Of Accommodation We Can Cater For Individual Cats, Or Small Families.

In many cases, cats might start peing beyond the can to make a point. Urine marking is just one of the most troublesome as well as aggravating actions for cat proprietors. Not just is it an indicator that something is wrong with your cat, however it is difficult to tidy and also get rid of the odor, which can cause ongoing noting. Regular "jealous" behaviors include hissing, growling, as well as swatting at the item that the cat is jealous of, such as your cell phone while you are holding it.

The same way that you'll obtain hungry around lunchtime and know it's been a few hours because breakfast, cats will judge the length of time it has actually been considering that their last meal-- which's just how they recognize to inform you off if a recipe is overdue. Pet cats are recognized for being sassy as well as endlessly sure of oneself, so when you think about it, it in fact makes sense that they naturally think their big, wacky guardians are nothing greater than fellow felines. And also if cats think I'm additionally a cat, then to inform you the fact, I'm really recognized. Cattery365.co.uk of somebody around sees me for that I actually wish to be. Cats are clever and will certainly soon have their owners totally educated to give them with deals with when required, however this behavior is a sign of trust and also shows that your feline friend enjoys.

C Urious To Know What Several Of Our Homesitters Rose To Throughout Lock

Cats often tend to be bundles of energy which they require to express in healthy and balanced methods. It's important that you provide your cat lots of physical play, chasing intro toys as well as running about as high as possible. Some pet cats can discover to enjoy walking on a harness and also lead; if you can convince your cat to take the harness, this can be a terrific means to promote your cat and also help them burn any kind of excess anxious power. One more option is to have a human buddy pop into the house while you're away.

Deal With With Treatment.

Yes - Felines Country Club will provide insulin shots offered that your cat's degrees are in control as well as have actually done for many pet cats for many years. Nonetheless, Cats Country Club takes no responsibility for health and wellness concerns occurring from insulin shots. instantly, in the unlikley occasion that it shows signs of being unwell. Bringing the diet your cat is completely satisfied with is great with us, we can likewise supplement and/or enhance your own too, as in our experience they can alter their nutritional "sort" in some cases whilst here.

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deathfrisbeeinthetardis · 4 years

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When life fucks you and your friends over, you write some angst and have a good cry, it won’t necessarily make sense or make things better, but at least you’ll be so emotionally exhausted you won’t feel anything at all :’)

From this prompt list:

The pain takes his breath away.

"Shane?" Ryan's voice trembles, the name catching at the back of his throat. Shane can't see his expression behind the intricate theatre mask Ryan wears.

"No." He manages, hands drawing toward his middle, to the warm wet patch on his shirt that's getting larger by the second, the dark stain stretching down with the pull of gravity. He can feel the cold of the steel inside him.

Shane's knees crash into the smooth stage floor, and a sound rips out of him, a fire lighting up in his torso to join the ice.

Blood. There's so much blood.

Ryan's hands are stained with it. They flutter around, pulling Shane's back onto his lap and pressing around Shane's weak fingers and the golden steel.

"Oh my god, Shane. Shane?"

They were just fooling around, just the two of them in the dark old not-haunted southern theater with some props they had snuck out from backstage. The exit sign glows neon in the corner, the individual letters blurring in Shane's vision.

"It wasn't sharp, I-I tested it before, how--" Ryan's rambling, and Shane should do something about that, he always does. Say something funny, taunt a ghost, stand firm and tell Ryan what he needs to do.

But he can't quite bring his lungs to work, and a wet rasp is all that comes out.

"I'll get help, Shane, just hang in there alright? I'll get us help." There's a new rectangle of light in the dim space, and Ryan's harsh breaths are loud in the silence, coming twice as fast as if he's trying to make up for something, as if Ryan can breathe for him.

Shane still can't see Ryan's face, and suddenly the sight of the mask is too much, the designs painted in gold swirling and twisting in his eyes, the hard carved mouth smiling down at him in its frozen mirth.

So he reaches out, fingers stained with red brushing against the deep blue edge of the mask, Ryan's eyes glimmer from the cut out holes.

"Shane?" He asks, uncertain.

"Can't see." Shane whispers. Ryan's eyes widen and in a split second the mask is gone, but there's too much worry in that face for Shane to be satisfied. Having a friend that understands your every intention isn't always useful, Shane thinks.

He wishes Ryan would stop looking at him like that.

"Fuck you Shane, you don't get to do this to me." Now there's a fire in Ryan's voice, and Shane smiles, or at least tries to. Anger, yes. That's useful. "This is not the last time you'll see me, you son of a--"

"911 what's your emergency?" Shane hears a voice say from the phone, the well-known phrase that had been ingrained in their very culture finally being spoken before his eyes and ears.

Somehow he never expected to be the reason for it.

"Hello? We need an ambulance right now--" Ryan talks fast into his phone, but Shane stops listening, settling his eyes on Ryan's mouth, urging his brain to trace the movement, to keep working, keep functioning.

He can't fall into that grey in-between. He won't let that happen.

"They're coming Shane, you'll be fine, you hear me? You will." Both of Ryan's hands are over Shane's now, and he lets out a groan at the added pressure, feeble hands trying to shove them off.

Ryan only tightens his grip, fresh lines glistening down his cheeks from the light of his phone. "I know it hurts big guy, I'm so sorry, oh god. I’m so sorry, but you gotta let me keep the pressure on it. Shane please."

Shane can taste metal at the back of his throat, which probably isn't a good sign if all of the movies he's watched are any indication. Shane nods if only to do something, to offer the other man a bit of relief in case things go south. Ha. Shane wishes he could have said it aloud just to stir up that fire in Ryan again, or maybe Ryan’ll just grin with that fond look in his eyes.

Shane wants to see the whole wheel of Ryan's expressions again, and he's losing time, damn it, he's entitled to it.

You'll be okay, Shane thinks, maybe he says it too. It's a bit hard to keep track with his vision fading out in patches. He can’t quite control his face, he might as well be wearing a mask.

But Ryan gets what he means, he always does.

“No don’t you fucking start, this isn’t goodbye, don’t you dare.” Ryan’s face crumples, and no, no, that’s not what Shane wants, but he doesn’t have the energy to do anything else. There’s something desperate in Ryan’s eyes, he’s grasping for straws now, and Shane loves him for that, for trying even when there’s nothing left to do but wait.

“You, Shane Madej, are going to make it, or-or God help me I’ll kill you myself.”

But it’s also exactly what will make it so much harder for him.

#hurt no comfort #*bangs spoon on pan* come get y’all ANGST #alex writes #ghoul friends #bfu drabble #alex got mail #this prompt was from a good while ago #it took me a while because i was having difficulty coming up with a situation #but last night I just went fuck it I want angst right the fuck now

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thesmellofstorms · 5 years

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Elu Boarding School AU part 11/?

Friday came around, and Lucas left school with Eliott. His friends were chatting in front of the gates, and Lucas hesitated on whether he should join them or not. Eliott and he had to wait for the bus anyway, so it would make sense to spend some time with Lucas’ friends instead of staying at the bus stop a few feet away, in full view of them, without acknowledging their presence. However, Lucas felt quite nervous, because he had yet to talk to them about the change in the status of his relationship with Eliott.

In the end, Eliott made the choice for him by walking in the direction of the group. Lucas followed him closely, maybe a bit too closely but he needed to feel reassured.

“Hey, Lucas, you’re right on cue. I wanted to let you know my mom can drop you off at your father’s if you want… That way you don’t have to take the bus.”

As soon as Yann had finished speaking, guilt started churning in Lucas’ guts. He had made plans with Eliott without saying anything to Yann about his father rejecting him once more, even though his best friend had always been his go-to person every time something went wrong in his life (which happened far too often). He should at least have talked to Yann about his mother cancelling their plans for the weekend and about his father’s texts. His silence hadn’t even been caused by a lack of occasions to broach the subject, considering Yann had asked him if he was alright countless times this week.

“Thanks a lot for the offer, man… but I’m actually staying at Eliott’s this weekend.” Lucas admitted, trying to sound casual.

After all, maybe Yann wouldn’t mind. Maybe it wasn’t as big a deal as Lucas was making it.

“Oh… Okay then.”

Yann sounded disappointed, didn’t he? He definitely did. He probably felt betrayed, and he was entitled to. Lucas was screwing everything up once again and he felt like crying, or punching something, or throwing up, or all three in no specific order.

“About that… I was wondering If you guys would like to come by tomorrow evening. I have beer and and weed.” Eliott chimed it, apparently surprising everyone, and most of all Lucas who looked at him with wide-eyed admiration, trying to convey his gratitude without words.

“Sounds great to me. Thanks, dude.” Arthur said.

Basile nodded enthusiastically to show he agreed with Arthur. Yann, on the other hand, took a bit longer to answer, but he agreed too, albeit in a more subdued manner. Lucas was instantly relieved.

Once they were on the bus, Lucas thanked Eliott for inviting his friends over.

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you think it was a good idea. To be honest, I was afraid it wasn’t my place for a second, but you looked distraught when you were talking to Yann, and I had to do something.”

Lucas could feel his heart melting and he looked at Eliott in awe, as he had earlier.

“You really are the best. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

He took Eliott’s hand in his and hid their joined hands in between their bodies, over the slight space separating their seats.

“Don’t be dumb, it’s the other way around.”

Eliott was smiling, but for once it didn’t reach his eyes, which didn’t sit well with Lucas. Eliott sounded serious, and it wasn’t acceptable. Lucas was the lucky one, and that was not up for debate.

He wanted to kiss Eliott right then and there, but he had to restrain himself. They would reach his place in a few minutes, and Lucas would probably survive the wait, even though every second that kept him away from Eliott felt like a lifetime, as Lucas was near bursting with affection for his boyfriend.

The second they entered Eliott’s building, Lucas pounced, pushing Eliott against the door he had just closed so he could kiss him senseless. One of Eliott’s neighbours could come out of their flat at any moment, but Lucas was over worrying about it. If they were caught making out in the hall, then so be it

At some point, Lucas started grinding his hips against Eliott’s, which made the other boy throw his head back. It hit the wooden door in a dull thud, and Lucas vaguely hoped it had not hurt. He couldn’t muster more concern than that, though, because he was already too aroused to form coherent thoughts. Plus, considering Eliott’s blissful expression, he was most probably alright.

“Fuck, Lucas. Let’s go upstairs, else I can’t be held accountable for what happens.”

Lucas looked into Eliott’s eyes, which were dark with desire, and instantly obliged, letting Eliott lead him to his flat. He would have followed him to the end of the world if Eliott had asked him to.

They started undressing each other even before the front door closed completely. Lucas’s jacket was already on the floor when it slammed shut. Eliott’s jacket soon followed, as well as both their sweaters and shirts. Lucas cursed the many layers, wishing he could just make all their clothes disappear by snapping his fingers.

He had to admit that undressing Eliott did have its perks, though. For instance, it allowed Lucas to slide his hands up Eliott’s torso and feel how soft and warm his skin was, how fast his hart was beating.

Once they were naked from the waist up, Eliott went back to kissing Lucas. The latter reciprocated, but kept on undressing Eliott as they kissed, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. Lucas started sliding them down his legs and immediately noticed Eliott was wearing no underwear. Lucas whimpered.

“I can’t believe you’re going commando.” Eliott was trying to kill him! This was so rude.

“I thought it would make us gain time.” He replied with a teasing grin. The little shit.

Lucas put his hand around Eliott in retaliation, which made his smile drop instantly. Ah! He wasn’t so smug now.

Lucas slid his hand up and down a few times and was rewarded by Eliott’s moans. However, he was soon stopped by Eliott’s hand on his wrist.

“Did I do something wrong?” Lucas suddenly felt self-conscious. He had never done anything with a guy before, so he was in uncharted territory. He had been doing what he liked himself, but he couldn’t be sure Eliott would like it too.

“No, no, quite the opposite. I just think we should take this to the bed.”

“Oh…”

Eliott slid his hand in Lucas’, entwining their fingers, and pulled him along until they reached his bed, on which he proceeded to push Lucas. He then made quick work of his already unbuttoned pants and took off Lucas’ as well, leaving his underwear on for now. Lucas was grateful that Eliott was trying not to rush him, but he was as ready to get naked as he would ever be. He let Eliott follow his own path nonetheless, trusting him completely.

Eliott laid over Lucas, settling between his legs. Lucas’ eyes rolled back when Eliott’s hard-on settled against his, with only the think layer of Lucas’ boxers to separate them.

Eliott then briefly kissed his lips before moving on to his neck and sucking on the fragile skin there. Lucas was sure he would have hickeys, and he was surprised by how much he wanted them, by how much he wanted Eliott to mark him. Lucas slid his hand into Eliott’s hair and held on for dear life as Eliott slid his lips down and sucked on one of his nipples, teasing the other one with the pad of his thumb. Lucas nearly lost his mind in the onslaught of sensation.

“Fuck, Eliott, please.”

He didn’t know what he was pleading for, but he hoped Eliott would find out for him.

“I’ve got you.” Eliott assured before trailing kisses down Lucas’ stomach.

He then hooked his fingers in the elastic of Lucas boxers and slowly slid them off, all the while watching Lucas, as if he was wordlessly asking him if it was alright. And it was more than alright. Protesting was the furthest thing from Lucas’ mind at the moment.

Eliott wasted no time, taking Lucas in his mouth and making him see stars. From that point onward, Lucas’ vocabulary was reduced to the word “fuck” and Eliott’s name. Lucas had his hands on each side of Eliott’s head and his hair between his fingers. When Eliott started sucking him harder, Lucas tightened his grip on Eliott’s hair and pulled on it without meaning to. He realised he had probably pulled a bit too harshly when he heard Eliott whimper. He was trying to form a coherent apology despite his state, but when he opened his eyes so he could look at him, he discovered Eliott’s burning gaze, and also noticed that his boyfriend was touching himself while blowing him. Lucas nearly came right then and there.

Eliott’s left hand, the one he wasn’t using on himself, was gripping Lucas’ thigh so hard it would probably bruise. Lucas tried to focus on the slight pain so he could keep his orgasm at bay, but it didn’t work. If anything, it heightened his pleasure.

“Eliott, I… I’m going to…” Lucas, winded, couldn’t finish his sentence, but he pulled on Eliott’s hair once again, this time voluntarily, hoping he would get the hint.

He did, but he didn’t react the way Lucas had expected him to. Instead of stopping, he took Lucas in as far as he could and sucked hard. Lucas could barely last through three seconds of this and came in Eliott’s mouth.

“Fuck, shit, this was amazing.” He said, once he had regained control of his breathing. “Come here.” He wanted to take care of Eliott too. However, he soon noticed things had already been taken care of, so to speak.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it.” Eliott informed, blushing bright red.

Lucas would have been satisfied that Eliott was the one blushing for once, if his brain was still functioning instead of being stuck on the fact Eliott had come while giving him a blow-job. He nearly got hard again just thinking about it.

“Don’t be sorry, that’s the hottest thing ever.” Lucas kissed Eliott and could taste himself on his tongue. And maybe that was the hottest thing. He couldn’t tell, his brain had gone to mush. “I really wanted to blow you too, but we still have plenty of time.”

Lucas was pretty sure he wouldn’t have been that bold in normal circumstances, but he had just had the best orgasm of his life, and it had apparently loosened his tongue.

Eliott moaned.

“You’re going to be the death of me, I swear”, he said before going back to kissing Lucas.

They kissed lazily for a while and eventually found the courage to go get a shower. They kissed some more under the spray, spending far too much time there. Then, they went straight back to Eliott’s bed and fell asleep entwined, in a matter of minutes.

Thank you for reading :)

#SKAM France #Elu fanfic #Lucas Lallemant #Eliott Demaury #le Gang #Boarding School AU #part 11 #fair warning this chapter does get smutty ah ah

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butyouvealwaysbeenthecaretaker · 4 years

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It's been about a month now, and we've had income slightly exerting our outgoings. I'm not in work any more, and starting to feel like...a househusband rather than an unemployed failure (I've not been in work for like a year and a half). And I have to say, I feel pretty good. It's weird how feeling good can creep up on you. Sometimes, I catch the bus and talk to the bus driver without cringing into my hoodie; I remember how recently I couldn't do this without wanting to cry

And in a disability sense, my energy ingoings are exeeding my outgoings too, which is...so bizzare a feeling. Because adhd is pretty much, being coerced into overexerting yourself, and life becoming an endless rollercoaster of recovery/breakdown, in about a two week long cycle. It's so nice and also weirdly challenging to...experience that you can be stable and calm and functional. I mean, by the time you hit 10 (not to mention 30), you've been relentlessly punished for living at the appropriate and correct pace, so it takes a while of actually doing it to feel entitled to this time and breathing room. And to recognise that this could be your new normal. And that being forced into a different rhythm is Wrong, objectively and cruelly Wrong.

Life isn't like, bliss and roses (I don't own a decaying Victorian mansion or anything), but I do feel...blissful. Present. Like time exists. I've got these upstairs neighbours who I like a lot, but they're...weird to be around because - as far as I can tell - they're able bodied and neurotypical and straight and just talking to them, you can tell their life hasn't been shaped by trauma. They dress nicely and have good jobs. My normative neighbours. Lovely guys, but it's like living next door to a golden retriever: they have an inner confidence and resilience, the way I suppose you do when life doesn't repeatedly and violently remind you how vulnerable you are. And I'm feeling like...how I imagine they feel all the time. Life has its ups and downs, but in a manageable sort of way.

One of the underappreciated facts about adhd is that when appropriately managed, *our symptoms go the fuck away*. It's underappreciated because no one ever gets to see it. My timekeeping is fine. My memory is improving. My sense of the future is strengthening. My house is tidy. I answer post when it comes through the door. My impulses are under control. My addictive internet use is down, and I'm working on one project at a time instead of jumping from one to the next. Because neurotypical people tend to teach adhd kids, and demand adhd adults, manage their health in a way which is actively counter-productive, we learn that these kinds of behaviors are an inevitable fact of our life and disability. And that is extremely Not True. I'm not effortlessly well - I do still struggle with these things a bit - but I have the spare energy to notice and correct them before things spiral. And I'm not Cured, because if I go back into a mode of life where I'm required to mismanagement health, it'll crash back down. I've been in this good place before. I know how tenuous it is.

and more broadly, I want this for everyone. I am so very, very lucky to be where I am. I've got a bit of private income, a husband that works (and is extremely supportive and understanding), and a national health service providing me with the right chemicals. That's it. Space, stability, time, no pressure.

I have so much gratitude for where I am right now, and that gratitude is formed in part by a growing awareness of how much I deserve and am entitled to this.

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kcwcommentary · 5 years

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VLD7x02 – “The Road Home”

7x02 – “The Road Home”

This episode is an absolute mess. It’s also a pointless episode: You could remove nearly the entire episode, and nothing would change in the series. A third of the episode is casual supposed-humor, and the rest is an endless battle sequence with faceless enemies. The episode wastes so much time. The visuals of the action sequence are poorly storyboarded with little sense of staging and cohesive logistics. And the episode is offensively ableist regarding Shiro.

Pidge is still trying to contact Earth, but no one answers. This was briefly set up last episode but continuing to build here. Everyone is still hanging out on this planet. Last episode and again right now, the show gives a lot of time for Hunk and Romelle to talk to each other. I think everything else that happens in season seven overshadowed my paying attention to this the first time I watched it, but I wonder how much of the fandom thought the show was setting up a romance between these two. If this scene functions within the framework of a potential romance, then this moment is adherent to traditional gender behavior: a guy brags about himself and a girl is impressed. There is a lot that is stereotypical and cliché to romance in this show.

Maybe it’s just me in this moment, but everyone setting up to leave on their journey to Earth seems like it’s just using up time. The sequence is played for humor, the characters debating which animal rides in which Lion. It doesn’t make sense to me why everyone else objects to Keith having the space wolf riding with him. It also doesn’t make sense that there would be an objection to Allura having the mice. For each of them, they’re connected to that respective animal by story and experience. This is such a long sequence that does not really do anything. I mean, I get it, it’s supposed to be humorous, but it ends up feeling like a lot of time wasted. The executive producers have publicly complained that they didn’t have enough time in the story to tell everything, to cover the necessary angles of certain plots, to include fallout and post-event contemplation by characters, but if they didn’t have time, it’s because the show put too much of stuff like this sequence in the final two seasons of the show.

Lance ends up organizing everyone, and of course he’s done so such that he gets to be alone with Romelle. If Lance is supposed to be so into Allura, then this just does not respect that supposed aspect of his character. It makes his interest look like nothing but entitled straight male infatuation and/or that he’s got a double standard given his jealousy. It’s not a moment that lasts long, of course, but it just sticks out to me.

The show takes an unusually long amount of time showing the Lions launch from the planet. The tone of the beginning of this episode is really casual. For characters who went through something huge – regardless of how badly I think the story was told, the events of the end of season six were huge – they don’t seem affected by them at all.

Of course, the show defaults to food for Hunk, having the mice feed him. So often this show really doesn’t even try to have characters be more than just a single bullet-point of characterization. Coran sings the Altean alphabet. Lance gets tired of Romelle being curious about the Lion’s function (I swear, I almost typed “Blue Lion,” still after all this forgetting that Lance is not in Blue anymore). Hunk is taking mice selfies. The space wolf is chewing on something in Allura’s Lion, to which Keith tells Allura the wolf is just lonely. Pidge is playing video games.

Over a third of this episode has gone by, and I really don’t care about anything that’s happening. The whole episode to this point feels like I’m waiting for the story to actually begin.

Everyone wants to rearrange the passenger assignments, and they apparently find somewhere offscreen to do so because it’s a quick cut to Pidge now having the mice, the wolf, Coran, and Romelle. We can’t get a scene of Shiro talking to Allura about the experience of her putting him in the clone’s body, of him reflecting on the clone and realizing the clone was manipulated by Haggar’s space magic and wasn’t to blame for being controlled by her, nothing about the clone’s spirit and Shiro’s spirit merging the way the EPs said it did in an interview (of course, they said it then because they never realized the audience would expect an explanation, that the audience actually liked the clone, and, unlike the EPs and writers, did not think of the clone as just a means to an end but as an actual character). There’s time for this really long sequence of supposed humor, but no time to have Allura reflect on having killed Lotor (yes, Lotor dies just sort of by exposure to all the quintessence – which is again, life energy, so how it can kill, I don’t know; however, effectively the Paladins did kill him).

Krolia directs them to a nearby Blade of Marmora base to check in and get an update on everything. There is no response from the base when they arrive. They force their way through the door (Allura being the strong one, opening the door for everyone). Keith comments that “it doesn’t look like anyone’s been here for years.” Pidge concurs, citing the power systems of the computers not working. Krolia says, “This base was fully operational during my last check-in with the blades.” From Krolia’s perspective, that would have been over two years ago. She didn’t return from the quantum abyss until 6x04 “The Colony,” and from that episode to the end of season six, everything was very high pace. Of course, for those outside of Krolia’s (and Keith’s and the wolf’s) experience, time would have been like normal, so the Blades would still be here, so her ultimate conclusion in this moment isn’t an illogical one for her to be making, it’s just the way it’s phrased doesn’t take into account that the last time she, from her perspective, contacted the Blades was years ago.

The facility starts crumbling and Coran reports an attack by enemy ships. Team Voltron hasn’t been her long, so that would mean the ships would have had to have been close by, so how they didn’t notice all these ships prior to landing, I don’t know. They all get back in the Lions and attack a small group of Galra ships. During the sequence, the space wolf teleports different people to different Lions. I guess it’s supposed to be some kind of resolution of the humor-through-uncomfortable-situations that had been going on with the passenger plot, but it seems tonally weird to resolve a humor plot during this action scene. Am I supposed to feel tense because the protagonists are fighting enemies, or am I supposed to think the scene is funny because the wolf is rearranging the passengers? The latter takes away from the former.

Also, the wolf can teleport. The show gave Keith a teleporting wolf. Yeah.

I can’t say that I buy into the argument that the wolf teleporting is doing what Shiro was supposed to be doing in the show, that the ability to teleport was originally supposed to be his, and that the wolf was pasted overtop of a lot of Shiro’s character. But had Shiro developed the ability to teleport, it would have been an interesting addition to the show. It would have required way more explanation, follow-up, and narrative resolution than this show has proven itself to be willing to do though. As the show ended up, it never explains a single thing about this space wolf. His inclusion in the story ends up feeling totally random, so I’m not surprised some viewers have tried to find a bigger meaning to the wolf’s existence. Since the show gives no explanation in the story, those viewers are left trying to create an explanation. I think there’s a high chance that the EPs and the writers just didn’t think they had to explain it.

I know the episode gave some quick line about how the Lions haven’t recharged to their full power in order to try to explain why they’re so incapable of fighting in this scene, but it still feels inconsistent for the Paladins/Lions to be unable to handle a handful of Galra fighters. Despite how the Lions have been shown flying in formation, Hunk is then shown to be really far distant from them, or at least from Keith and the Black Lion, and Keith jets off to help Hunk.

When he does so, Krolia, Shiro, and Coran are slammed back against the rear wall. This is fundamentally not possible. They’re in space. The three of them have the same inertia as the Lion itself (you in a ship in space is not the same as you in a car on Earth). Consider any footage you’ve seen of astronauts on the space station, just floating there. They don’t slam into the wall despite the fact that the space station is constantly falling (that’s what an orbit is) toward Earth. The astronauts have the same inertial frame as the space station. So too, here, Shiro, Coran, and Krolia would have the same frame as the Black Lion.

Let me also take a moment to point out that Keith is piloting the Black Lion, and there has been no discussion between him and Shiro over it. I know the show would argue that since Shiro’s missing an arm that he can’t pilot, but it would have been nice to have had them discuss this. And given the pointlessness of the first third of this episode, they had plenty of time to do so.

Lance says they need to form Voltron, but the Lions apparently don’t have enough power to do it. Allura yells, “The Lions can’t take much more of this!” More of what? They’re literally just flying through space the same as any other time they’ve been flying through. Despite the show animating it to look like they’re under stress flying in formation, since they’re in space, flying in this formation would be no more stressful than any other flying. Keith orders the group to run.

The Green Lion gets hit by a blaster from one of the Galra, and the animation is really weird. The screen turns white, silhouetting Green, but there are also several really large chunks of rock or some other material. It’s brief, but it makes it look like Green has partially, physically exploded. There’s a shot of random explosions in the far distance and then a few more similar explosions near the other Lions. The show eventually explains it as some kind of crystals exploding, but explaining after the fact just makes the sequence confusing to watch. The Black Lion runs into one, but it’s not visible until after they’ve hit it and it breaks apart.

The logistics of how many ships there are, where they are in relation to one another, when they are in their respective positions, and how much time it would take to move and reorient to a new flight formation is a mess. That it is a logistic mess made me think of the similar logistic mess that a lot of episodes in season eight have. Thanks to the records I’ve done as part of my doing this commentary series, and thinking about it for a moment, I realize why. This episode is the first one directed by Michael Chang. He’s one of two directors brought onto the show for seasons seven and eight. He would have been responsible for making sure the episode didn’t look and feel all over the place, and since it does look and feel all over the place, that’s on him.

The Paladins don’t leave the area. Instead, they’re driven by the Galra to a “tunnel of crystals.” Despite the Lions being able to detect the crystals, apparently all of the Paladins ignored where they were headed and went right where the Galra wanted them to go. Even if the Paladins were immediately busy dodging weapons fire, Coran was the first to view the crystals on a display in one of the Lions, so he’s not busy flying and could have provided monitoring for the group. If not Coran, then Shiro too could have been monitoring, or Krolia or Romelle. Even if they weren’t there to monitor and advise, Pidge is shown looking at a display overlaying her main view out of the Green Lion, so all of them should have been able to pilot while monitoring just by themselves because of how the Lions’ systems function. This whole problem is supposed to be an increase of tension in the story, but because it’s totally contrived, it just doesn’t work.

When Keith first said “tunnel of crystals,” and Pidge was looking at her heads-up display, I thought it was supposed to be a filter overlaying the view that was giving visual to the green clouds of the “tunnel.” I thought they couldn’t see the tunnel with a normal view. But no, it’s an actual, giant, swirling cloud in space. How was something this big not shown in the background during this fight until right immediately now that they’re right up on it. They would have seen it long before now and could have been sure to not fly in its direction. This is totally unrealistic and ridiculous.

Keith declares, “We have no choice. Everyone into the cyclone.” I don’t see why they can’t fly past the cyclone given how everything is visually depicted. This moment and this episode as a whole feel like there was a major failure to properly storyboard this episode. Keith says, “Hunk, that means you and I are going to have to punch a hole through the storm and clear a path for the team.” I’m sorry, “punch a hole through the storm?” That sounds so badly written. They’re comparatively lightly pelted with some rocks, but Lance says, “We can’t take much more of this.” Keith orders them to look for somewhere that can serve a shelter. Pidge almost instantly identifies a volcanic ice planet nearby.

You’re telling me the area of space where they’ve been fighting not only has a giant, bright green, swirling “cyclone,” but also a planet? Everything was depicted as just empty space until suddenly it’s not. Also, I can’t help but to think that writing this to be a “volcanic ice planet” happened because the writing team, or maybe just Joshua Hamilton by himself, read a headline or reference about our discovery of a lot of ice volcanoes on various moons and dwarf planets here in our solar system. (Yes, ice volcanoes are a real thing.)

Pidge lists a variety of things that makes the planet a dangerous environment, which somehow equates to it being shelter. I don’t know. Sometimes, it gets really exhausting saying that this show doesn’t make sense.

The visuals kind of make it look like this planet is in the giant space cyclone. The planet is shown having a moon. The Lions all descend to the planet, and once they break cloud cover, everything on the planet looks fine. The planet is supposed to be surrounded by this space cyclone, yet the planet is not affected by it? Also, though there had been no reference to them being followed before, as soon as the Lions break cloud cover, there are Galra fighters close, directly behind them. Keith had said they had “no choice” but to enter the cyclone, establishing it as the only way they could get away from the Galra, but now apparently the Galra have been following them very closely the whole time? Again, the logistics of this episode are so badly managed.

“Watch out for the falling ice,” Shiro says. How nice of the show to give something for Shiro to do like point out the obvious. See, he’s still part of the team, right? right?

Keith says, “That gives me an idea. […] When everyone’s through the tunnel […].” What tunnel? Visually, they’re flying through a chasm. There’s been no tunnel in the ice depicted. No one has referenced a tunnel in the ice until Keith’s comment just now. Lance calls Keith “team leader,” so it is as Joaquim Dos Santos and Lauren Montgomery wanted. Shiro has been pushed to the side, here literally standing to the side, so that Keith can be the team leader. The visuals of the cave opening are such that it’s not shown until the shot of the Lions flying into it. There are heads-up display graphics that seem to be pointing at the cave entrance, but it’s still not visible in the background painting. Also, how does Keith know this specifically is a tunnel and not just a cave without an exit?

A large number of Galra still made it into the tunnel following Lance, who blew up the entrance on his way through.

This whole battle sequence from the beginning has lacked tension because it’s so faceless. There are just ships chasing them around. There is no characterization or plot underlying this conflict. I would say that this is meaningless video game action, but most video games these days have more reason for combat to happen than this sequence.

The tunnel is luckily (or contrivedly) large and branched, so they can, as Keith orders, split-up to divide the attackers. One ship pursuing the Black Lion is able to hit it with a cable and a person slides down to the Lion’s hull. I would think maybe just piloting Black to roll would knock someone walking on its back off, but the show doesn’t even think of that.

Instead, Shiro says he’ll go “take care of it.” Krolia then yells, “No, you’re still recovering. I’ll do it.” It’s so infuriating that the show so blatantly is sidelining Shiro’s character. The show used to depict Shiro as a fighter. Even in extreme situations, he was still very capable. But now, because the EPs and writers hate Shiro so much, he’s diminished and proclaimed incapable. Literally none of any of the other characters on this show have had to handle the situations that Shiro and the clone have survived through. This feels like not just disrespect of Shiro’s character, this moment reads as ableism. The show could have had Shiro go and kick butt right now, but instead, the EPs and writers declare Shiro to be incapable, helpless, worthless, and in the way. All writing is a choice. They made the choice to write the episode this way. They chose to not write Shiro as the capable fighter he’s been in the past. They didn’t want him in this story. They wanted him dead and gone. And if they can’t get what they want, then they’ll just narratively banish him.

It’s infuriating.

Keith gives Krolia his blade, she runs to go fight the intruder, and as she goes, Coran yells, “I’ll help too!” and runs after her. They wrote this episode to have Coran allowed to claim a part of this fight, but not Shiro. That really tells you something about how little they respect the character of Shiro, how little they respect his past on this show, and how little they respect the members of the audience who like Shiro.

It’s even more infuriating now.

Coran gets knocked into a room, the doors shut as he goes through them. This is contrived. Why would doors automatically shut like this just because he passed through them? It’s played for humor, but it’s not funny because we’re supposed to be transitioning into another layer of tension of the plot (the hand-to-hand combat scene). It makes having written Coran to follow Krolia pointless.

So, this person on the back of the Black Lion has been just hanging out on the back for a while. They were supposedly trying to break into the Lion, but they’ve been out there, giving plenty of time for Krolia to exit the Lion to fight on its back. What exactly was this attacker doing the whole time?

I don’t care anywhere near enough about Krolia, I’m not invested in her as a character, to care about this fight. Keith now pilots the Black Lion to roll as he continues through the tunnel. Are they still being pursued by multiple Galra ships? Is it just the one ship that this attacker came from? Why doesn’t the Black Lion then just stop while this fight on its back takes place? Given how quickly Black rolls, how are the attacker and Krolia not sent flying off Black’s back? Black even smashes through a rock or ice wall and none of the debris hits either the attacker or Krolia. None of this is believable. A conveniently timed and placed stalactite takes out the attacker, but not Krolia, and there’s no damage to Black. And apparently the Galra ship the attacker came from is no longer following Black. What happened to it?

Cut to a regular Galra fighter following and shooting at Hunk and the Yellow Lion. Yellow gets knocked down, and Hunk decides the thing to do is to jump out of Yellow and blast at the Galra with his bayard cannon. The cannon spontaneously turns into some kind of gun that can shoot additional guns, which mount on the cave walls and start shooting at the Galra. It’s ridiculous. Between the two satellite cannons and the one he’s holding, Hunk blows up the Galra fighter right in front of him, but the explosion does not affect him one bit. He’s not even hit by a shockwave of the big explosion that, again, happens right in front of him.

Allura has the Blue Lion chomp down on a Galra fighter to get rid of the one following her. The pilot of the Galra fighter survives being chomped, exits the craft, and proceeds into the Blue Lion. Allura says that Blue’s “jaws are stuck shut.” Seriously? What about the giant blaster cannon that’s right inside the Lion’s mouth? Romelle declares she’ll go take care of the Galra. The Galra climbs into the blaster cannon like it’s an access tunnel. Again, all of this is ludicrous. The Galra walks down the cannon, it’s just a very slight bit bigger than the Galra is tall, so it would be totally easy for the Galra to see everything in front of them, but somehow they miss Romelle standing there. She hits him and sends him flying back out of the cannon. Also, how did Romelle get down into the cannon? Why is the cannon now point of access into the Lion? Romelle’s attack is so precise that the Galra not only flies 15-20 feet back out of the cannon but back into the pilot seat of the fighter craft.

Romelle spots something sparking in the corner of the mouth, she moves a comparatively small piece of metal plating, and suddenly Blue’s mouth can open again. There is nothing about what Romelle does that would explain why Blue couldn’t open its mouth. If Romelle is physically strong enough to move this small slab of metal plating, then the force the Lion itself could generate should have been more than enough to take care of it. It’s ridiculous. Blue opens its mouth and the Galra ship and pilot, conscious and screaming, are hurled out of it.

Pidge and Lance are still having trouble. Pidge says her cannon isn’t operational. She rants at the space wolf, who teleports into the Galra fighter, and I guess he just growls at the Galra (who’s clearly scared of him) until that Galra crashes his fighter into another fighter, causing them both to explode. What looks like bad piloting around a corner causes the final fighter to collide with the wall, but I think we’re supposed to assume that the wolf caused that to happen too. The wolf then teleports back into Green, injured.

I honestly don’t really care about this wolf any more than I care about Krolia or Romelle. All three of them originate with the same story, and none of them ever feel like they have earned the time the show gives them. This is the point in the series production that this show significantly gives way too much time to side characters while ignoring the story’s main characters. It’s like the EPs and the writers got bored by their own story and meander off into something else rather than coming up with something interesting for the main characters to do.

The Lions come out of the tunnel only to be hit with some kind of reverse tractor beam that slams them into the surface and pins them down. There are a bunch more Galra waiting for them. It’s revealed to be Zethrid and Ezor. And the episode ends.

As I’ve said throughout this, this episode is a logistic mess. It makes it impossible as a viewer to track everything that’s happening in the story. It is an assumption on my part of course, but I have to think that the production did a terrible job storyboarding the episode and the director couldn’t keep everything thought out, thus everything is a mess.

It’s infuriating that Shiro is shoved to the side, while the episode tries to force Krolia, Romelle, and the wolf on us.

The long humor sequence for the first third of the episode is so casual that it feels out of place given what these characters are now recovering from.

The rest of the episode is 12 minutes of meaningless action. By leaving the attackers unidentified – no, having them just be miscellaneous Galra the entire time is not identifying them – until the absolute very last seconds of the episode makes the whole combat lack substance. It’s so hyper simplistic. Being attacked by miscellaneous bad guys for so long does not give any substance to this story.

Ultimately, almost the entirety of this episode is pointless. With just a very slight change – having Ezor and Zethrid’s attack that pins the Lions to the ground in the last seconds of the episode instead take place on the planet that Team Voltron started the episode on – you could then completely remove this episode from the series, and everything would be the same. When you can excise such a large part of a story and nothing changes, then you know that that part of the story doesn’t actually do anything.

#voltron legendary defender #voltron #vld #voltron criticism #vld criticism #voltron critical #vld critical #vld season 7 #vld 7x02 #commentary

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