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sailorhyunjinz · 3 years

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Do you write yandere? If so, can I request skz yandere headcanons on how they would react when S/O rejects them because she doesn't wanna deal with whole drama that would come with dating an idol?

i mean kinda?? i have a seungmin yandere fic in my drafts sooo BUT YEAH

oh also, requests are not open but im just gonna do this one cause headcanons are kinda fun BUT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED <33

also why is the felix one so short-

Warnings; yandere!skz, rejection, k-dnapping, slight gaslightning or like manipulation, restraints, threats, aggression, mentions of masturbation, stockholm syndrome

Chan

nobody rejects him. nobody.

you two were friends from school and you were sooo happy when chan made it as an idol, finally persuing the dream he had been yapping on about for years.

but in the midst of that he realized that he had feelings for you, he missed you all the time, just wanting to hang out with you and maybe explore the things he had on his mind. so,, he decided to confess when you guys were at a cafe.

“look y/n,,, there’s something I wanna tell you” he started to which you tilted your head

“nooo,,, are you guys going on a tour again,,, i wil miss you sooo much channie” you said with a pout but the boy shook his head.

“i like you y/n”

your mouth stood agape, this was not what you expected and truthfully,,, not what you wanted.

“chan,,, y-you know thats not possible” you said with a frown, looking at him straight ahead.

“of course it is,,, why wouldn’t it be? w-what are you trying to say y/n?!” his voice started growing louder, you looking around in order to see that people werent turning their heads towards your table.

Minho

you have made a big big mistake my friend-

wont even hesitate to keep you hostage in his basement LIKE IM NOT JOKING-

might just tie you up and like,,, not even do anything to you, just talk to you and admire you, maybe tracing your facial features and cuddle closer on the cold floor

just wants to keep you as a pet or smth and you are scared out of your mind cause you cant move cause of the restraints, you cant speak because you have silvertape across your lips that he only removes to feed you but if you start screaming you wont get any so you deicde to just stay calm and quiet before someone saves you and play along.

i mean you do,,, kinda fall for him but you know you cant,, but you cant help but to fall for him and miss him whenever he’s out on schedule things

he always returns to you and you get so happy when you see the little crevice of light from outside when he opened the basement door

whenever he lies next to you, you put your head against his shoulder and take in his scent the best you can

he told you everyday that he would let you go if you agreed to date him but you shook your head,, maybe cause you liked being his prey.

Changbin

he’s more of the threatening type of yandere,,, like,, not that he’s violent but if you try to block his number he will create new ones and keep on sending you messages about how you have betrayed him and how he wished that you loved him back and all that,,,,

you guys often meet because you go to the same college and are students in the same department sooo,,,, avoiding him is pretty impossible

he stares a lot at you,,, you guys have a couple of classes together and he just stares the entire time, his eyes are just filled with revenge, he somehow wants you make you his, own you but he doesnt know how yet, for now he can just look.

watch this fucking message conversation just be this;

[why did you talk to him during class?]

[you could have just asked me]

[nobody loves you like i do. no one y/n]

you are never getting rid of him basically,,

he’s gonna get to you first ;))

Hyunjin

i feel like he goes more to the stalking route than the kidnapping and drugging and whatnot-

ok,,, you rejected him,,, but that doesnt mean you’re getting rid of him.

ohmygod what if he turns into a peeping tom- cause he obviously knows where you live.

like yall were not even that close?? he just saw you backstage at one of the concerts and thought you looked good so he decided to go up to, you werent an idol so no problem he thought.

but he gets a bit too,, hasty with his decisions and often falls for people randomly and so when he politely greeted you and gave you his number you simply shook your head, explaining that this wouldn’t be possible since you worked in the same industry and you needed to stay clear out of any scandals in order to keep your job.

no was not answer in Hyunjins mind.

luckily he managed to catch your full name by flickering through some papers in an office and also saw your full adress there, knowing exactly what he was going to do on his free time.

Jisung

if im being completely honest,,, i have no idea-

like,,, he gives me kinda pervy yandere vibes,,,

what if youre like his ex before he became an idol and now he wants to get back together with you-

oh,,, he masturbates to your pictures-

i feel like he always thinks about you, wondering what you like and wants to write songs about you but he doesnt do much-

but when he finds out that you have been hired by the same company as him to work as a like,,, economics accountant thingy he is all of a sudden vEEERY interested-

always asking the manager of when the group will have meetings with the accounting team,,, although they had nothing to do with them-

he just wanted to be in a conference room with you (and think pervy things about you in your tight office skirt and white blouse)

you went to the toilet on day and you saw him lurking around the same floor,,, WHICH ONCE AGAIN WAS NOT CONNECTED TO THE GROUP AT ALL-

and idk,,, probably sneaks in with you and locks the door before you even react that theres someone else in the toilet-

i feel like he��s pretty mild,,, but when he’s alone with you he is aggressive broooo

probably pins you to the wall and threatens you or smth along those lines,,,,,

(writing this is what my life has become to-)

Felix

“what do you think you’re doing?”

you turn around again, you had just thought of just leaving with a vague answer to his question but he was not having it.

“answer.”

his words sounded cold, his dark voice making an entrace, the exact one you’ve heard on many of the songs you listened to.

“felix,,, you have to understand,,, u-um,, if we date theres gonna be some issues” you said but he just stared at you with cocky eyebrows and a dark gaze, running his tongue on the inside of his cheek.

“do you think i care? would i ask you if i cared?” he said to which you shook your head automatically, what more could you do?

“you get until tomorrow to think and if i don’t get the answer i want well,,, we’ll see what i’ll do to you.”

Seungmin

he plots shit behind your back yk?

he’s more of the sneaky type of yanderes (oop spoiler to a fic heh)

like he makes this like fucking year long plan where the objective of the mission is to make you obssessed with him-

he starts kinda subtely,,, first its going to the same gym as you and like,,, knowing where you placed your stuff

and then he starts putting small notes like under your waterbottle when you went to grab something that say like “i think youre cute, call me” and then his number

you obviously dont react,,, because why the fuck would you contact a stranger at the gym

BUT THEN you realize that its him, its mf kim seungmin. yo,,,, u didnt know he went to this gym,,, that was not,,, the best-

of course you got a bit interested,,, you wanted to know how he was off camera,,, like just in his everyday life and i meeean,,, he was attractive but obviously you should stay away bc,,, he’s a celebrity but seungmin didnt want to stay away

he notes somehow started to get more aggressive,,, suddenly being like “why are you ignoring me?” and such,,,

and one night you were left alone in the gym with him,,, it was sooo quiet, only the sounds of your strained breaths as you lifted a dumbell

here where the plan came to play ;))

Jeongin

he’s obsessed with you and you are not going anywhere, even if you rejected him.

he’s more clingy?? LIKE HE WILL NOT LEAVE YOU

ok sure,, he falls more into the stalking category too,,,

also veeeery much a obssessed kinda yandere,,, like his mind is not thinking about how to like capture you,,, more about how to make you soooo comfortable and fool you into loving him despite the circumstances?

i just imagine that you work in a cafe and jeongin often meets you there when he buys coffee and you are already in awe when you see fucking yang jeongin enter the coffee shop on your shift but you were even more excited when he leaves his phone number on a napkin and slides it over the counter before leaving.

you thought about it,,, contemplating multiple times but,,, you decided it would be best not to since well,,, safety purposes

but he would visit you and every day his face got more and more perplexed cause he wondered why you didnt call

mf would not leave you alone, he would even wait outside the coffee shop until you finished your shift and walk you home,,, so now he knew where you lived-

and then do the same thing over and over again until you talked to him.

does. not. give. up.

#stray kids headcanons #skz headcanons #stray kids yandere #skz yandere #anon #Cherrymail🍒

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matchamabs · 3 years

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I know you didn’t ask for it but- BOTW MONSTERS: RANKED BY HOW HOT THEY ARE,,,,

i do fuck all in the days lemme tell ya

ill admit i havent done EVERY enemy but like. i do enjoy making these posts so who knows, i might actually rank everything sooner or later 🤷‍♀️

,,,,, and if u want a specific ranking of botw/aoc stuff lmk 👀

ahh the ol reliable. the classic bokoblin. he is just a little lad! unfortunately they’re genuinely kind of ugly??? and the idk the singular horn in the middle aint a good look. i see cute comics abt these guys being domestic and thats adorable but also giving them so much leeway bc they’re really Not that cute. not sure what the loincloth is hiding and im not sure i wanna know anyway. 3/10 really kind of. not good.

slightly bigger loincloth only means slightly bigger things to hide :( i rlly hate these guys noses and whatever the fuck toenails they have why do they have toenails?????? s’bad. the thing is tho they have the proportions of a potentially attractive gerudo which is probably what takes the edge off the general vibes of... u know... being an abomination. its also only JUST occured to me as im writing that these guys r just evolved bokoblins so. glow up i guess. 6/10 what that tongue do

ok bypassing whatever the fuck rule 34 has done to these guys, i actually dig them. i find the huge fat ones way cuter than the lil bug eyed ones. in their case theres rlly no, like... hotness about them. its just cute. i think they’re cute. any monster that is cute and also doubles up as a bed gets my vote 7/10 get urself a fella as flexible as these guys

u know what, im gonna say it, these guys r actually kinda hot. proportions arent super bad, the face aint bad and generally they have good vibes. aside from, u know, when they’re tryna shank u. id say one of the most bearable monsters to have to look at. 8/10 im not a scalie

??????????? idk what to say. u could tie these little shits to like swingball poles and beat them with rackets thatd b good. aside from that these guys have like no redeeming qualities. they’re a pain in the ass and not in a good way. 3/10 cute but like. is it worth it?

i mean,,,,,,,, someones probably into it. i dont like these guys for a lot of reason and surprisingly the thing that gets me is the fucking hair why does it have that hair its like he-man just went straight over the top with an electric razor its not a good look!!! stop trying to make it work! it wont! and again with the loincloth??? im not into it. the only thing i like abt these guys is the lil waistcoats. they have some amount of decency (but the implications it makes are Not Good). uh. 2/10. barely.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

,,,,,9/10. but if you see a lynel up close like that chances are you died about half a minute ago

again. ??? i dont rlly like. i mean. im digging the top heavy proportions? its got the same body type as kass so like. 4/10. bit plain around the features but what can u do. i dont understand how but the igneo taluses are like. sexier

UGHGHHH I FUCKING HATE THESE THINGS okay okay okay like these motherfuckers lure u in by being quite cute and dancin around and then u get a look at their faces and its like fucking JESUS and its even WORSE when you see under their cloak and they have no necks????? and like????? they do that gay little fucking dance that pisses me off???? they’re wearing hoods that give the ILLUSION that they have necks and im im fumin ok i HATE it i hate it i have been betrayed and i will NEVER FORGET ABOUT IT UGHGHGHG I HATE THESE CUNTS -10000000000000000000000000000000000/10 die

hhhhh i just dont like em. theyre too annoying to be cute now. and whats gonna happen if i squeeze one? is like. water gonna come out? r they just gonna deflate? 4/10 tentacles are not hyrules forte it seems ://

trust kohga to send the twinks out on the front line. seriously. they’re not bad tho? kinda small and underwhelming :((( tho i give extra points for the good crazy laugh we love a good manic cackle 6/10 they dont really count as monsters but ah well where else am i gonna put em

now THATS what im talkin about babeyyyyy we love the muscles,,,,, the posture,,, the stride,,, we love it when u fuck up stealth and a torrential downpour of these motherfuckers come down to beat ur ass,,,,, 9/10 its raining men 😎

u know. u dont rlly like. get a good view of these guys when ur balls deep in a battle with them, but the more i get like closer looks at them the more i go ???? like idk. everything about them looks backwards and wrong. but as far as backwards and wrong goes its not a bad look and the boss theme is a banger so 4/10 maybe dont jump on my ass every time i step one foot onto the desert :/

i just. i dont dig it. idk why. aside from the fact they’re a monumental pain in my ass, and now everytime i hear a beep even slightly resembling a guardian i shit my pants, but. idk??? as far as robots go its not like. terrible. they’re like the milfs of robots. the milves, if u will. a rilf. except i wouldnt. so its more like riwlf. but even that leaves too much up to interpretation so im just gonna call em a cunt and go. 4/10 leg game strong

here we are,,, the big boys,,,, waterblight isnt too bad i will admit, but the spear hand is both annoying and mildly inconvenient. its got a rlly big chest but rlly thin arms?? also not sure how i feel abt the strap on beard but oh well its not like ganons got taste. 5/10 kind of average for a blight i think

a hefty motherfucker. a chunk of a lad. big large. the fact this is like one of the easiest blights makes it more forgiveable to me but like whatever its got going on with the 80s hair needs 2 be sorted out. i like its moves but it doesnt hang upside down like waterblight :((( 5/10 calm down kate bush

ok who doesnt like gun arms. and a gun back. this things like fuckin megatron. the whole face plate thing doesnt look bad either. honestly its kind of a look? but its dickheadery in aoc makes me wanna set shit on fire so :// 6/10 hot but will not leave u alone 😔

ok this one is by FAR the sexiest of all the blights. i just cant explain it. i like guys with bad posture. i had an easy time beating it but apparently its given other people a lot of grief and that makes it 10x more sexy to me lmaooo. also it can clone itself which is like. thats a win. 8/10 ganon spilt all the sexy juice into this one

ok i didnt realise how many arms this motherfucker has and the whole hairline behind the ears thing is not a great look. especially w the beard. in fact the longer i look at it the less sexy it becomes tbh. 3/10 they tried to make arachnophobia sexy and it didnt work

10/10 i will be taking questions in my inbox but i wont be taking constructive criticism and you cant make me

#botw #breath of the wild #aoc #age of calamity #calamity ganon #ganon #loz #legend of zelda #hyrule warriors age of calamity #hyrule warriors aoc #windblight #thunderblight #waterblight #fireblight #yiga #i ran out of ppl to rank and then i went wait--#;)

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vintagedolan · 4 years

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Like his girl calls one of her close guy friends ‘bub’ and g like completely loses his shit. crying and feeling lost because that’s name meant for only him and he’s such breaking and maybe idk mix it up w some jealous! Gray too👀🥺👉👈

omg 🥺

I feel like this would be something that happened early in your relationship with gray, and it would happen around deon (cause he’s baby lets be real). He’s in visiting, and the boys are showing him some tips cause he’s taken up skating. You’re just at the park to hang out, occasionally taking a video for Ethan and accepting the little kisses Grayson gives you when he skates up next to you.

But things take a turn when Deon lands the trick he’s been trying to master all day, face lighting up as he turns to you with the biggest grin.

“You did it bub! Oh my god!” You’d cheer as he ran over, giving you the biggest hug. Ethan’s cheering too, proud that his teaching seemed to have worked.

But Grayson? He can’t get one tiny word out of his mind. A word that he’d only ever heard you say to him. Bub.

He can’t help that his mood shifts, and you’re left in the dark entirely, unsure of what’s happening. Suddenly he wants to leave, right then. When the four of you get to the car, he insists Deon sits up front while he drives, putting Ethan in the back with you. The rest of the night he’s short, borderline rude. He goes to bed early, claims he’s tired - you don’t play into it. Deon is only in town for a few more days, and you try to make up for your boyfriend’s shitty attitude by staying up and hanging out with him and Ethan for a few more hours.

Eventually, you head to his room, not in the best of moods. You expect for Grayson to be asleep, or even just sulking.

But the last thing you thought you’d see would be him sitting on the bed, knees tucked to his chest. His eyes were a bit puffy, reminiscent of when his allergies would act up. But you knew that wasn’t it.

“Hey, you okay?”

His eyes shot up to you, and you’re surprised to see a tiny bit of relief wash over him, his shoulders relaxing just a fraction when you sat down on his bed.

“Hey. Yeah, yeah I’m good.” The lie was blatant, especially because his lip quivered ever so slightly when he tried to smile at you.

“Grayson what’s wrong. You’ve been upset for half the day. Tell me what’s bothering you.” Any annoyance you’d had faded - now you were just worried, waiting as patiently as you could for him to get his words together. You reached out to him,

“Do you... do you call a lot of people bub?” It was possibly the last thing you thought he would ask.

“What?”

“Bub. You started calling me that a little while ago, and I thought it was... you know... an us thing. But then today, when Deon got that trick-” he trailed off, resting his chin on his arms again.

“Grayson.” You leaned in closer, running your fingers over his skin. He turned his head, resting just his cheek on his forearm, eyes on you. “I call a lot of people bub. It’s just habit, rolls easy off the tongue.”

“Right. Yeah, I shoulda guessed that I guess.” The sadness in his tone tugs at your heartstrings.

“But you know what?”

“Hmm?” He sits up a bit, giving you the space to move towards him, rest your chin on his arms where his had been.

“There’s a lot of things I do that are just for you.” Theres that playful glint in your eyes that he loves, and he can’t help but smile, a real one this time.

“Oh? Like what?” He’s prying now, wanting you to boost him back up, which you’ll happily do. You lean forward just a tiny bit so your lips are almost touching his.

“Well. You’re the only one I call baby. You’re the only one I call babe. The only one I call gorgeous. Or angel.” Your noses touched, sending tingles down his spine.

“Angel? That’s what I call you.”

“The feeling is mutual,” you teased.

“Does that mean you’re gonna start callin-”

“Do you wanna know what else I only do for you, or do you wanna keep talking?”

He pressed his lips together, giving his answer. You ran a nail over his cheekbone before you leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to those lips. He melts just barely, any of the tension he still had left in his muscles flushing out at your touch.

“You’re the only one I kiss.”

“Thank god,” he murmured, grinning. You crawled forward a bit more, pushing his knees apart to make space for you. He leaned down, slow and controlled as you press your body closer to his, coaxing him down until he’s laying on his back and you’re above him.

You ran a hand under his shirt, fingers ghosting over his abs. “You’re the only one I touch like this.” He groaned just a bit at your words, neck craning up to kiss you again. You let him, grinning a bit as his hands started to roam. They traced over your shoulders, down your sides, to your ass, sliding underneath the material of your shorts. His fingers hooked around the lace of your thong, and you felt him hum, his whole chest vibrating.

“You wear these for me too? Only for me.” He answered his own question, and you could practically feel his ego swelling.

“Just for you.”

#we love a jealous gray moment #jealous!grayson #I feel like sometimes he just goes into the big sad instead of being aggressive tho haha #grayson blurb #blurb #anon #ask #g:blurb

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seijch · 4 years

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bitches make one post about suna in the smoke grays and suddenly it turns into a full round of headcanons...

content warning. drug use (vaping)

TERUSHIMA: man i swear do NOT put this man on the aux!!!!!! some ppl do not believe in paying for a streaming service and i hate to break it to you but yuuji is one of them,,, Want A Break From The Ads? If You Tap Now To Watch A Short Video, You’ll Receive Thirty Minutes Of Ad Free Music type beat... its not even worth it at this point 🤮🤮🤮 his pre-work fits always go hard. shops exclusively on stockx and buys apparel from the store if he fucks w it (and when it goes on sale ... original retail price kinda expensive tho). surprisingly good w the elderly? no one expects it from him but he ALWAYS gets compliments from them and no one else ever wants to deal w the crabby old people so they send him in for a quick and easy sale 🤝🏻

SUNA: ALWAYS vaping in the back. if youre near him in the stockroom hell blow the smoke in your face. punch him. do it. this is the aisle where there are no cameras. BIG sneakerhead but doesnt like to answer questions nskdfsd you could b asking him if a shoe is good for running nd he hits you w that “idk i just work here” and WALKS AWAY. like i KNOW you work here bitch thats the fucking point!!!! his shoe game is always on point so he always gets questions since people think he knows what hes talking abt (he does,, But 😐😐😐)

SHIRABU: at the register. designated cashier, only here because tuition does NOT pay itself... air max supremacist; owns three pairs of air max 270s in the most BASIC colorways 😐 judges customers when they walk in. if he sees someone trying to fake flex he WILL gag. once saw a man and his son with the toyota logo hanging from their matching gold chains and hasnt recovered since.

KOGANEGAWA: gets LOST in the stockroom and is always 🧍‍♂️ when he does. compliments the scent of whatever flavor puff bar suna blows into his face. isnt in the work gc when he first gets hired bc he has an android NJKSDSA but eventually upgrades and is welcomed in (but overuses animojis unironically.....baby please youre embarrassing us). absolute king. one of the best sellers on the floor during back to school season; the mans a high-five machine!! the kids love him. (as they should!)

ATSUMU: gets confused for yuuji from behind a LOT and bitch if this doesnt PISS HIM OFF!!!!!!! youd rlly think that having another person out there w the same exact face as you would train you to handle this shit better but guess not bc tsumu gets SO mad he stomps off to the back and has to 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ for a bit..... osamu works at the food place two doors down and tells all the cashiers to make him pay full price, fuck a mall discount SDJAKDA there are too many pictures on his ig story of him and suna (reluctantly taken by aran) holding shoes to their ears like theyre the latest iphone. someone stop them before i reach thru the screen and shit in their shoes.

KINDAICHI: originally started working just to make money and knew NOTHING about shoes but bitch did he get INTO IT!!!! yeezy or bust, baby!!!!!! his go to work shoes are the tail lights but he also owns the desert sages (among others). his bank acc is NOT HAPPY,,, homie spends more money than he makes at his shitty minimum wage job 😭 once he learned the Shoe Lore he rlly came into his own as a solid seller but i would not be lying if i said before then he was on stock duty ....

ARAN: mvp of the store!!! gets along w the kids, gets along w the older folks, can hold a conversation w the sneakerheads, you name it hes got it !!!!!! on track to become an assistant manager if he so chooses -- the manager is alr begging him to come on full time but he doesnt wanna tie himself down to a life of selling shoes, yk? has people coming to the store just to see HIM like its a fucking host club. admittedly not as into shoes as someone like suna or tanaka,, definitely knows how to appreciate a Good Shoe but is halfway between a casual and a Full Sneakerhead tbh...

TANAKA: you wouldnt believe it but he is the KING of shoecare, both in usage and in sales! doesnt care as much when it comes to his regular old volleyball asics but when hes at work or out on the town? the flex is honestly UNREAL...catch him slacking, i dare you. shits on anyone who buys a team jordan like ,,, ok gatekeeper! his collection of retro jordans reaches almost concerning levels and refuses to sell any of them. he hasnt worn a good third of them, either (hes waiting for That Moment, whatever the fuck THAT means). only slightly above terushima when it comes to aux privileges. (theres also a video of him in the stockroom wearing nothing but booty shorts at the top of a ladder lipsyncing the lyrics to chandelier by sia. dont ask.)

BOKUTO: THE customer service guy. he spends small amounts of money like nobodys business but is lowkey scared of big purchases... drops $15 for food eight times a week like its nothing but wont buy a pair of $180 shoes... ok. as a result his collection is nowhere near as big as some of the other guys but he treasures them all and takes very good care of them!!! knows JUST what to say to warm any kind of customer up to him (gets hit on a lot, much to the dismay of tanaka nd yuuji)... also has a lot of former customers recognize him (its the hair) and he just has to go 😃 haha hey! every time.

NISHINOYA: whenever he cant reach smth and needs to be out on the floor asap he can and WILL climb up the shelves of the stockroom like a fucking MONKEY NKSFSN 😭😭😭 the authority when it comes to shoes for running, hiking, the gym, etc. if its outdoors leave it to him! had a pair of 270s but the bubble POPPED the one time he used the ladders as he came down..........hes literally traumatized and ALWAYS brings it up whenever he shares a shift w shirabu (who has since asked to not be scheduled w noya due to a “difference in beliefs” MSFSDS)

FUTAKUCHI: ive said it before but hes one of Those People thats worked half the stores in the damn mall so he was hired as a cashier during the holiday szn and left the company a few months later. youd think hed get along w fellow cashier shirabu but 😃 the manager avoids scheduling them together unless the stores gonna be busy bc one of them is gonna wanna use “the better register” and get mad when the other claims it first .... like theyre both FUNCTIONAL arent they??? 😭😭 does NOT give a shit abt shoes!!! never even learned the stockroom, just kinda figured it out as he went along...whenever someone asks him for their size in a shoe he hands it off to someone on the floor unless he cant avoid it (but believe it or not he will always give that person the sale...unless its suna bc he knows suna doesnt give a fuck)

@wackatoshi jic you dont see it when it drops 😚😚

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daisy--sorbet · 4 years

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heyyy, hope you’re having a good night!! if you have the energy and feel okay answering, what’s up w taz graduation? i haven’t checked it out yet but i was thinking ab it. just asking bc you’re the first person i saw talk ab the show having serious issues, but also feel free to not answer this!! hope you have a good week!

i took a nice hot bath, had a strawberry kiwi capri-sun, and did a nice face mask and i’m feeling pretty good - so, y’know what anon? let’s talk about it.

for anyone who likes taz grad who sees this post: it’ll be tagged with “taz grad hate” (although i feel hate is definitely a very strong word - it’s for the simplicity of tagging it) - so please block the tag if you don’t want to see this post (especially because i put a readmore on a post before and it didn’t show up on mobile and instead gave the full post). mobile tumblr has a tag blocking system, so please feel free to use it! i don’t mind haha

anyway, so this is... probably going to be a lost post, and i wanna go ahead and preface it: this absolutely isn’t any hate on the mcelroys themselves. i love the brothers and their dad a lot, and while i doubt any of them would ever see this (or have it sent to them, or shown to them, because im pretty sure they try to distance themselves from this sort of thing), i just want to make it clear that criticizing a product is different than bashing a person. which brings me to the point of if i do end up sounding as if im bashing someone - please call me out on it! it’s not my intention to target anyone.

with that said, let’s talk about this campaign.

so my problems are as thus: the railroading, the shipping (a fandom problem, but it’s present in the podcast), the NPCs, and some misc problems others have addressed better than i have.

which. i know. that’s basically the entire podcast. (i promise i’ll bring up some positive points to balance it all out). keep in mind i’ve only personally listened to... what, six episodes? and it was enough for me to drop it. some people dropped it first ep, some dropped it ep four, and others are still forcing themselves to listen.

the railroading

there was a time i could handle travis and his railroading [making sure the story goes exactly the way he has planned], because it was the very beginning of the podcast and that’s what you can kind of expect from a plot-heavy podcast. hell, i wouldn’t mind it if the interactions and goofs weren’t a huge part of why i listen to TAZ in particular (which, by the way, is why amnesty still stuck out to me - even if there was a direction griffin wanted to push them towards, the interactions between the players (or players and npcs) made up for any railroading). it’s kind of hard to not railroad a little when it’s story-heavy and you’re trying to built up a world that you’ve put a lot of thought into. however, a huge part of d&d is the spontaneity.

it’s kind of why i think balance was so popular. while there was railroading towards the end, there was the presence of improv that made it all good. most mcelroy content is enjoyed because of the goofs. the magic brian moment is memorable. the jenkin’s fight still stands out because it was funny (albeit a result of some bad rolls). the boys teasing angus sticks out because the four would play well off of each other. even without that - griffin had talked about how he had to roll with things (the fact he had planned for a fight atop the train, but ditched the idea for what his family members came up with instead). even in amnesty, a couple moments that stick out to me still are ned with the jetpack taking out a pizza hut sign, and the scene with the water where jake was trapped inside. they aren’t as fun, but they still stand out as “things i didnt expect to really end the way they did.”

with grad, it’s just. one after another. the thundermen want to subpoena a xorn? cool, let’s run with that until actually the xorn gets fed rocks and goes home and who cares about the subpoena now. fitzroy wants to keep his cloak? lets talk about it for a while and you also get no rolls to even try to keep it. fitzroy goes to meet higglemas in his office? oh, why are you here fitzroy? im going to keep asking you until you answer fitzroy? you arent getting out of this scene until you answer me, fitzroy, so just tell me why you’re here already, alright, fitzroy?

and even later in a episode i read a transcript of: hey argo, remember how you have this whole secret motivation? fuck you, im gonna talk about it here in your dream and reveal it to listeners and remove any tension you had building up, and you dont get a choice to talk about it because this all-knowing villain knows all about it :)

and even NOW in the latest episode, there’s a comment that “we should cap argo’s skills here” instead of just... making the checks higher. rogues are good at certain things and usually arent the best in battles. better hope argo never makes it to level 11, because who knows how people are gonna handle the fact that he gets a skill that’ll make it so certain skills can’t have a roll below 10 (reliable talent).

(griffin, thankfully, calls travis out for that, but still - travis, why would you even imply that, considering you should be aware of how rogues work considering magnus multiclassed into rogue and you played one on tiny heist?)

and in the newest episode, their Big Bad chaos (which, god, i personally hate that name) straight-out says “dont do this” to the thundermen. travis tries to say, on twitter, “a character saying “dont do this” is different than me saying it” but i need to point out that it’s one thing if you’ve said “no” in character but worked with the PCs doing otherwise, but the railroading says differently.

the shipping

ill try to make this quick, because it’s nothing to do with the fandom (ship however you want, man) - but i really feel the need to draw attention to this.

fitzroy, as confirmed by griffin in a ttazz episode, is asexual. not aroace, but ace nonetheless. and i find it... troublesome that the idea of rainer and fitzroy having a relationship is still pushed nonetheless, despite the fact that fitzroy (to my knowledge) was never once shown to reciprocate any feelings. not to be that person, but i really hope that grad doesnt have any sort of romantic relationships in it (at least - not between NPCs and PCs unless they’re actually like... warranted?).

i dont know, man. one of my closest friends is ace, and i know she wants a relationship, but i think it would reassure her a lot to see an ace character who isn’t pushed into one in case she ever changes her mind. someone once mentioned that they hope fi/tz/ra/in doesnt happen because theres relationships that have that “oh, you can just date” and it goes upwards there to “oh, you can have sex just to please them <3″ (which, to be honest, is kind of a gross mindset - if someone isnt interested, they arent interested).

also, uh, the TTAZZ where griffin states this, there’s kind of the mention tht the whole sexuality question was posed in relation to the episode “creative thinking” (the dream one i mentioned earlier) - which. uh. i don’t know if anyone caught this, but... rainer straight-up wrote fitzroy a letter in the dream like “are you going to accept my proposal? a girl doesn’t like to be left waiting” which. leaves me with some gross feelings because uh.

if... if the whole thing about fitzroys sexual orientation was addressed here, then why would you push your ship anyway? feels kinda iffy, man.

to which i want to say: fitzroy can date. he’s allowed to date. griffins allowed to do whatever he wants with his character. but when a lot of the flirting is met with nothing, i’m not gonna see the chemistry there. just because travis ships it doesn’t mean it’s canon.

the npcs

ah yes. lets talk about the npcs.

there’s... a lot. a lot a lot. i think travis trimmed down how many were present in a scene, but uh. there’s still a lot. and... uh... i kinda wish there wasn’t?

look, i know im going back to balance/amnesty, but just. hang in there for a moment. chill with me. vibe.

balance didnt have too many NPCs present at all times in each mini-arc. gerblins had some big names like barry, klarg, gundren, killian, yeemick, and magic brian. rockport limited had angus, jess, graham the juicy wizard jenkins, and all of the tom bodetts mentioned.

amnestys first arc had mama, barclay, jake, dani, pigeon, kirby, minerva, and that was about it for like. big names? and not all of them were present in each scene.

in the first episode of grad alone: gary, hernandez, jimson, rolandus, zana, rhodes, buckminster eden, rainer, leon, tomas, hieronymous, higglemas, stuart, jackle, bartholomeus, mulligan, groundsy, germaine/victoria/rattles (the skeleton crew). and those are the ones i wrote down (minus groundsy, who i just. ignores. idk him).

like holy shit, my english prof got onto me for having too many characters in my first chapter and i didnt even have half the amount listed there!

it’s just a huge cast. does this take place in a school? yes! theres bound to be a lot of students present - but you don’t have to name every single one of them, at least not in the first episode!

the miscellaneous

i don’t know if travis ever actually addressed it, but wheelchair users have actually like... said that rainer’s introduction bothered them, because she was like “please ask me abt my wheelchair :)” when travis saying she was in an ornate chair would have sufficed.

uh. the colonization vibes people have discussed within the centaur arc. mentioned here, the replies here, and this post (and its replies) here as well.

the overall lack of d&d when the campaign was kind of advertised as a return to d&d if i remember correctly

also no one seems to be taking literally any criticism at all which like. ignoring the petty shit, sure, but people have stopped donating to taz and their listener-ship must have dropped some during this entire time - you’d think that maybe someone could say “we need to find out why people dont like the thing and fix the thing” consider this is. yknow. their livelihood.

anyway uhhh

tl;dr: travis railroads way too much (even now), the shipping in-game has become pushy and gross (especially bc its shoving a relationship onto an asexual character), theres too many npcs that dont stand out well enough, and no ones taking any criticism about the major issues with grad.

#taz grad hate #taz graduation hate #Anonymous #ok im gonna go to sleep now goodnight #maybe ill wake up to hate tbh that'll be wild

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ywyunho · 4 years

Text

* hewwo so late but just finished an exam and this intro will reflect the exhaustion i currently feel so please excuse me but yw’s open ! ! 🥳🥳🥳 will list a couple points down below and some plot ideas until i can get a proper page up but here’s his profile for some stats and that’s about all i got. please feel free to like this if you’d like for me to roll into ur ims or please. also feel free to just roll into mine, i also have discord if that’s easier, just lmkk. but anyways this is kim yunho, km2 canon, a bro that pretends he has a personality.

kim family, influential, involved in local politics and yunho doesn’t get the hype?? but it instills the belief in him he’s always got to be the polished, good-mannered son bc he is a reflection of his family and doesn’t wanna let them down................. or so he says

indecisive as shit, grows up doing a multitude of things in hopes of finding a definitive passion, is a quick study so its easy to go thru the motions w different hobbies or interests but boredom is like a disease that never stops giving .

one hobby that happens to stick the handcrafted violin his grandfather gives him and he accepts it with an :o *insert sparkles all around his face* expression bc this feels like trust . this feels like a sign .

breaks said thing but initially in fear and desire to make reparations to grandfather (and himself) begins to look into violin-making and the craft of lutherie and there begins his first long-term interest, something he still does in spare time to calm himself when feelings n existence is too much

is a bit of a (used lightly) delinquent growing up, but nothing serious . more like following rules??? when u can ignore responsibilities and explore as a child???? its all done in the name of boredom!!!!!!! and privilege can make one very. haughty

but is a good boy, as seen thru his innocent features that old ppl just luv ok, overall despite dramatic tendencies when things don’t go his way, excessive pouting, silent treatment, brief phases of anger that don’t last long and are quick to exhaust him and have him wondering what was the point of feeling that much

leaves for university, forced to take something not. crafts related basically bc his parents dont trust him NOT to get bored and stress the vital importance in finishing THIS degree (major in business administration, minor in political science) before he can do much else, hoping it’ll make him settle down and stop chasing wanderlust

makes it three years in, loses grandfather mid-way thru but pushes it all down, after the third comes the loss of a friend that he will basically never talk about now (tho people probably know ig?? considering. small town and his family at the very least were told), leading to him citing life is short and drops out to go on a backpacking trip thru europe like he thinks rich kids do and then stays with a couple friends in the states and basically . months pass and what was supposed to be his final year comes and passes before he finally promises parents to come home. its all very controversial

he is a disappointment and he knows it (so he says and thinks quite bitterly)

now works as desk clerk @ hot springs to get away from being at home at the time, does not talk much about his time away, is a little more detached in hopes it’ll keep people from talking to him / about him when he’s still around . knows rumours probably fly around about the potential he had and the lack of results but . he pretends he simply does not care

the end this was long and boring

to SUMMARIZE: boy doesn’t know what to be, is told to fit family mold, fails that and comes back a little broken.

possible connections???

childhood friends he used to hang around with until he left for university, probably awkward now and yes its prob entirely his fault, sue him

he used to declare u public enemy #1 and was so goddamn annoying........... except now he’s completely forgotten who u are and it’s ANNOYING.

he goes on morning jogs and maybe u join him . or maybe he joins u. maybe its cute. maybe it becomes a challenge and both tries to out-sprint the other . or maybe its just yunho

parents once entertained/joked about the idea of the two of u getting married when yall grew up and excuse me. its like. 2020 . but hello could’ve been betrothed, how are u

you’re good at something and he wants to master it now. he is annoying.

you both used to share everything w each other and maintained contact when he left yangwon until he disappeared over the grid and now that he’s back u keep asking him how time outside of yangwon was and he keeps tries to actively get away from u with very badly exercised excuses . little do u kno its bc hes not ready to talk about his feelings and every time he sees ur face he wants to do just that

alternatively he sprints in the opposite direction every time he sees u and u dont know if he hates u for some reason or if hes full of himself or if u smell (cue edward cullen montage here) but god forbid........ its a cr*sh?

high school exes................... there is a lot of ways this could go

pseudo siblings, older or younger, bc yunho loves the concept of family

ur so c*te he literally trips when he sees u. insert a million other embarrassing events here

slightly antagonistic, but for the 100th time, yunho is annoying growing up with bc he oozes ‘im a good son, please love me’ pheromones with that disgustingly sweet smile of this but now that he’s back and not so faux perfect and theres some talk and u find maybe he’s not So annoying anymore

he likes to walk thru the rain and let himself get soaked and u are genuinely concerned bc what the f*ck dude . or u join him. what happens next may or may not warm ur heart .

works @ hot springs....... maybe he sees smth....... he shouldnt........?????????/ or maybe........ u want him to............????????/ god idk

this is so hard ill take anything .

#yw:intro #this is the hardest thing i've ever written in my LIFE................#i am so sorry if u read. i truly am .#gn brb

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honeyfreckled · 5 years

Note

we have talked a few times and im sorry for this but you are the most accepting and easiest person to talk to honestly i dont have many people in my life i can tell anything real to. but the thing is ive been thinging about relapsing a lot more since i broke up with my boyfriend and i work with him so it makes work depressing and impossible to get through a day without crying sorry this is anon but i am scared ily dont hate me i am not trying to stress you out

ok wow first lemme just say: I DO NOT HATE U. EVER.

and don’t be srry i don’t have a lotta ppl irl i can tell my shit to so i get it. pls know u can always ALWAYS ALWAYS come to me, and u dont gotta be scared to come off anon. i get it and it’s ok if u prefer it that way- but pls know i dont keep it on alot bc i get hate and then i turn it off bc i gotta look out for myself and dont post all the hate bc i dont wanna bring yall down or give them the satisfaction of knowing i have given it a read and response. so u can message me or make a sideblog or idk im just saying this so if it’s off later u dont blame yrself or feel scared to come off anon. ok sorelapse is a real thing and it’s fucked and hard and addiction is fucked up and a real life struggle and we dont treat addicts w the real tenderness, respect, kindness, and acceptance they deserve. but u DO deserve it. and there are hotlines, apps, churches, groups, chatrooms/boards, and sites that are more versed in what are the appropriate things to say to u- i say this bc while i’ve been thru it w loved ones i have not myself struggled w addiction w substances. my addictions were to self harm and victimhood so those are the things i searched for help on. but if it’s alright i’d like to give u some tips or things i used and have heard work for addicts of substances

places like i said like churches, groups, chatrooms, sites, apps, hotlines the apps and hotlines are good if u cant travel or want to talk to ppl who wont share their story bc maybe u cant hear it like its not the kinda help ur looking for. hotlines are sometimes tricky bc some of those folks are not educated they are volunteers so judgment leaks thru and in that case u ask to be redirected and report that volunteer so hopefully they dont repeat that kinda mess to other vulnerable folks looking for help

make a list of things, anything. list of foods u like to order, list of things that make u clench yr teeth, what were yr fave gifts you’ve ever got, style icons of urs, hobbies u tried that annoyed u, movies u can always watch, places on yr skin u hate being touched, any list of anything it doesnt have to be the usual thing of “what to live for” bc when yr depressed those kinds of things arent easy to think of. but if u get a list going of like “best things ive ever touched” “sounds that make me laugh” “trends that were stupid af” “popular things that i didnt like n couldnt figure out why they were popular” “weirdest ppl ive met” well those things might get u on a roll of good memories or laughing or seeing that theres more to yr life than what has been occupying yr thoughts

dancing. dance in yr room in the dark. clear some space. put on some headphones. lock yr door. do it in the shower. just dance. i had to start w closing my eyes and picking songs that i was taken by emotionally. songs that made me jump and slamdance tbh and then it’s just gotten more and more something im not as ashamed w. i spent a date night w james just dancing and then we ya know ya know bc the dancing got so wild. now i make playlists of songs that set moods for diff kinds of dancing

watch shows w ppl who arent doing better than u. they dont live in fancy places, they dont do much w their lives, they dont dress better than u, they struggle, they arent eating good food u dont have access to. iasip. freaks and geeks. letterkenny. undeclared. jake and amir. tpb. the state. youtube. tiktok/vine comps. lots of these kinds of vibes on youtube

podcasts. improv comedy podcasts tbh saved my life. comedy bang! bang! has best of’s those are good ones to start w. improv4humans bc matt besser has great guests of some of the best improvisers out there and he has musical guests and they’ll play a song and the improvisers will use it as inspo for a scene

make things. moodboards. pinterest. playlists. fill a shopping cart and tell yrself “i’ll get it when i win the lotto and move away from anyone who knows me so i can be the me i wanna be w/out judgement” make tea. make a meal if u can. make yr bed. clean one thing. clean the sink. hang some clothes or go thru yr drawers and clean them out. throwing things out feels hard at first but then it’s nice bc u feel less bogged down

find something to throw yr obsession at for a bit. something that wont hurt u as bad, being obsessed in general isnt good. everything in moderation irl. too much of something is bad just as much as too less of it can be bad. but yr looking for something lower risk here and if u gotta be obsessed w a celeb or a song or a food that’s ok. yr focusing the energy on something that isnt a substance so be proud of it

give yrself a break. give yrself some credit. everyday isnt gonna be on the “best of your name here’s days” but sometimes u just live to live bc that’s what u do. u wait it out and get thru it and wait for the sun to come back out. and if u cant get outta bed. or if you hate yr job and wanna scream- that’s normal it’s more normal than always being happy ppl just dont like talking abt bc society kinda trains us to hide our fucked upness idk why but thats how it is. they dont wanna tell us to do preventative care until we’re in the pits

all in all- it comes down to (at least for me) not planning w an endgoal in mind. it’s not over til it’s over and rlly we dont know. it’s all fluctuating and not meant to be a finish line we cross and then suddenly we’re done and we dont suffer anymore and the feeling of shit is gone or the risk of relapse is gone and the depression is cleared away never to be seen again. it’s not realistic. bc it isnt real. on the real- risk is always there and the downs and ups mix and run together and depression is not curable (this isnt something to be miserable over tho) depression isnt curable, yeah ok, but it is manageable. it can be quieted down from time to time and if u keep up w yr healthy routines and coping mechanisms- depression will still find its way to u bc the real world is not something u can manage. death in the family, loss of money or job, car breaking down, sickness outta nowhere, depression grows wild when these very real life stressors come into our lives. but all that too eventually gets easier and easier at least from a “ok i have some distance now” standpoint. and then as those days get more and more btwn it u can then be like “oh wow, ive made it thru X amount of days! ive put up w it this long! whats one more day, whats one more week, hell might as well see how much prouder i can feel once ive got a year under my belt!” plus u will be more capable of handling the bullshit if u know u can still find some safe places in yr coping skills or friends or resources.

ok so this is prob a mess but bottomline know this:

I love you and i will be here the best i can should u ever wanna come spill or if u need me to just send u pics of my dog or boring pics of knickknacks or selfies or memes or links or anything just tell me what u need and i will try my best to show u my love. i hope u can see that u reaching out is just already a HUGE major step in the right direction, give yrself credit! thats amazing! yr already doing it pumpkin look at u! it’s hard ik. but i also know if u are capable of saying u have this problem going on, u are capable of getting thru this. u are a light in the world. u offer goodness and u offer yrself and that’s enough. even if yr fucked up right now- u are contributing to the world by simply being u. there is literally NO ONE ELSE WHO IS YOU. so u are unique by definition. i hope u get something from this post and if not i hope it strikes an idea or thing u can do that will help. i hope u know im here and i hope u see this.

i am sending u all my light and love and good vibes and i can’t wait to see or hear from u again. u are never bothering me, a burden, or stressing me out. tbh it stresses me more that u might be struggling and not telling me or anyone. i dont ever want u to suffer in silence bc u feel guilt or scared or anything. u deserve to have a place to voice yr shit. im here to listen if u do wanna tell me anymore.

everyone else-if this helped or if u can think of anything that might help anon or anyone else- feel free to reblog and get some good NONJUDGMENTAL advice or tips and tricks going, but please please please remember to not come off as judgey or flood it with your drama. keep ur drama out of this post so anon or anyone else doesn’t get triggered by it.

and dont ignore my rule and do it anyway and then say some shit like “ik u said not to but i think this will help lol sorry” like we need this post to stay on this vibe that i set in motion and not a struggle contest or dick measuring or all sad personal reminiscing. go make yr own post for that this is NOT the space.

#Anonymous #sorry if this is a mess but i got a lot of feelings abt the shitty advice that's out there for addicts and i dont know shit except my ideas #and all i can do is pass it along but pls still remember there are plenty more things that could work so if these dont strike a chord lmk #and i can try to think of more and reach out to my friends who are addicts and see what works for them #i love you i love you and i love you and i like you

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karmanticmoved · 5 years

Note

1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what��s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

#asks #long post #friends

2 notes · View notes

getallemeralds · 5 years

Note

So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

#leo chirps #leos reply #system shit #i dont think i covered EVERYTHING #and im not sure how coherent this is #but i tried! :D #Anonymous #ask #pat.txt

9 notes · View notes

shadowed-moonrise · 6 years

Text

ooc: elia and ashka chat logs

[ooc comments supposed to be removed but i might have missed some. there is a Lot of logs bc we forgot to post until now]

shadowed-moonrise

oh my god what is WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE

shadowed-moonrise

i got some horrifying anons!!! theyre so horrifying!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

hang on let me turn off my blacklist for a moment

quick question: what the fuck

(not directed at you!)

shadowed-moonrise

i just

wow????

they sent me a followup ask like 'didnt you read what i said, my gf likes it'

shadowed-moonrise

and............... i dont....... think she does

like that does not sound like a healthy relationship and i hope they just made it up to creep on me

flameofcertainty

"hi i'm a rapist"

"wtf"

"no but she likes when i rape her"

i just

*what the fuck*

shadowed-moonrise

right

WHAT THE FUCK.

shadowed-moonrise

i was just talking earlier abt how i dont actually like that anybody can read my hyper posts but i make them on publicblog for like Awareness right?

shadowed-moonrise

and i thought i meant like abstractly, like maybe theres somebody reading them and cackling bc they dont agree w/ my politics or whatever?

but APPARENLTY

APPARENTLY

people will send me creepy asks about raping their hyper gf

flameofcertainty

some people are just really terrible?

i guess?

what are they even getting out of this?

shadowed-moonrise

i think some people just........ enjoy making other people suffer????

or maybe somehow they thought i would be like "i think this is hot or a good thing to do or whatever, thank you for your service to the hypersensitive community"

i dunno what goes on in these peoples head

shadowed-moonrise

heads

flameofcertainty

maybe tumblr just hates hypersensitives or something

it would explain a lot

shadowed-moonrise

like, okay, but what would you hate hypersensitives for

like theres somebody who hates hypos (and IS A NAT THERAPIST, AUGH) for.... not hating pollution enough, i guess

but hypersensitives are boring? we dont go outside much bc the outside is fully of scary?

flameofcertainty

maybe tumblr is just weird like that?

or maybe we're easy targets?

shadowed-moonrise

oh yeah that makes sense

flameofcertainty

most meso folks don't have a button they can press to get a reaction out of us

shadowed-moonrise

if you wanna make somebody suffer its so easy to target people with a big 'make me suffer' button

flameofcertainty

right

shadowed-moonrise

ugh im sort of regretting making it public

i could have just not mentioned it and had a really good blacklist

flameofcertainty

most of the time people aren't that bad

and then there'll be a week or two

where people send you nothing but asks about pollution

shadowed-moonrise

i blacklist some stuff but im generally okay talking about pollution if its like, abstract, so i dont do it that aggressively and then........ sometimes............. people take advantage of that

shadowed-moonrise

i wish you could like, have vulnerabilities without people just randomly deciding to fuck with you for no reason

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

hang on

i just scrolled down

>i’ll put my foreign object ;;;;) in your body ;;;;) ;;;;)

***what the fuck***

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

oh GOD

i just got

another

flameofcertainty

oh no

how bad is it

shadowed-moonrise

bad enough im not sure i should tell you what it says

flameofcertainty

my brain is helpfully providing suggestions

why is it like this

are you okay

shadowed-moonrise

im.... probbly going to be in a minute

fuck

"the last "person" to hide their caste on this hellsite turned out to be red. i bet you aren't even hyper, you're just pretending so people won't suspect. i know what you really are."

thats what it says

flameofcertainty

aaaaaaaa

what the fuck

flameofcertainty

why would anyone send that to you

shadowed-moonrise

i dont know

what did i *do*

flameofcertainty

i don't know

fuck

i guess if they think you're red that would explain why they hate you?

but seriously

what the fuck

flameofcertainty

i'm so sorry

flameofcertainty

why would anyone say that

shadowed-moonrise

anon hate doesnt usually get to me like this but

sob

why

the fuck

i dunno if they even really think that or they just want to upset me

flameofcertainty

i don''t

i don't know

fuck i'm so sorry

are you going to be okay

shadowed-moonrise

yeah. yeah.

flameofcertainty

is there anything i can do

shadowed-moonrise

i dont

think so

flameofcertainty

other than not be the sort of terrible person who would send those messages

shadowed-moonrise

thamk you for not being htat sort of person!

im so glad most people arent

flameofcertainty

it's really not hard

shadowed-moonrise

oh i can... go take some eytelia right now

it will only help in 40min but i might still need it then

shadowed-moonrise

brb

shadowed-moonrise

ok back

flameofcertainty

okay

anyways what the fuck

shadowed-moonrise

someday i will have coping mechanisms other than "get high in a way that coincidentally also helps"

flameofcertainty

i mean if it helps

then that's a lot better than nothing

shadowed-moonrise

yeah it is

shadowed-moonrise

im gonna go curl up and not look at the Fuckening Internet, i guess

flameofcertainty

seems reasonable

shadowed-moonrise

ttyl <3

flameofcertainty

ttyl :)

shadowed-moonrise

hiiiiiiiiiiii im back im not sad anymore because im so high

shadowed-moonrise

i got another horrible anon and i dont even caaaare

flameofcertainty

i'm glad you're feeling better

sorry about the terrible anon

shadowed-moonrise

also did you know art is pretty

its so pretty

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i saw a video of a yellow playing the yellowest instrument ever and i wanted to send it to you but tumblr messages werent working on my everything

maybe i can find it again..........

shadowed-moonrise

http://theyre-a-geeky-witch.tumblr.com/post/138457594516/ here

flameofcertainty

that's actually really pretty

flameofcertainty

thanks

flameofcertainty

anyways what's up

shadowed-moonrise

i gotta work in a couple hours

by which time hopefully i will be able to handle it

idk i dont HATE it but its hard on the badbrains

flameofcertainty

i can imagine

shadowed-moonrise

like i feel ok now bc hiiiiiigh but im not very excited about leaving the house and going places

shadowed-moonrise

there will be a green party where im supposed to just pretend to be green tho!

i like those

flameofcertainty

that part sounds nice

at least

shadowed-moonrise

ive been thinking & writing a lot about how thinking-on-drugs works and greens always wanna talk about that

shadowed-moonrise

one time a client had me go to a thing pretending to just be green and it was nice and then she *told everyone she hired me* while i was in the middle of talking about my cs paper (my actual cs paper, which i actually wrote, and she implied i didnt even though i CLEARLY THOROUGHLY UNDERSTOOD IT)

flameofcertainty

???

why would she do that??

shadowed-moonrise

i wish i had just walked away but i didnt know what to do

some people....... have a humiliation kink

shadowed-moonrise

and like, okay, ill do that if you WARN ME, but you cant just spring it on me???

flameofcertainty

i am super not a sex worker but "tell people in advance" seems really obvious

shadowed-moonrise

YEAH

shadowed-moonrise

i didnt really say anything at the time bc i was so shocked but later i like messaged her and was like 'thats super fucked up'

shadowed-moonrise

she didnt really get it but she agreed to pay me extra for like, i didnt know what service i was providing beforehand & thats more costly

but she only engaged with it in like, super businessy terms

flameofcertainty

how does she not get it

this does not seem particularly hard to understand

shadowed-moonrise

i think she was like 'im paying you for both sex work and going to a party so i can just like do whatever, right?'

and there was also some like 'greys are toys'

shadowed-moonrise

fucking blues

shadowed-moonrise

i do not usually go in that much for caste solidarity because im so bad at grey + greys are not great about that but in that moment if somebody asked me i would have supported a military government

i could explain 'pay people for services and also lay out terms beforehand' but not 'greys are.... people..... dont be a fucking asshole'

flameofcertainty

i don't think i've ever actually talked to a blue

at least not to say more than "excuse me, can i get through" or "the soap is in aisle five"

huh

shadowed-moonrise

there... exist blues who are okay

there even exist blues who are okay and hire sex workers and do kinky things about castes with them

flameofcertainty

i believe you

shadowed-moonrise

like 80% of the people who hire me are entirely fine?

flameofcertainty

they can't possibly all be terrible

otoh a terrible blue can screw you over a lot more than a terrible purple

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

im not sure what i would do if a blue client did something illegal to me because...................................... im not sure what i CAN do

flameofcertainty

probably depends on how illegal

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

and who they are

flameofcertainty

yeah

there are supposed to be reporting systems in place if they try to pay you to kill someone or something

idk if they actually do that

shadowed-moonrise

nobody has tried that and i havent heard anybody talking about that but im pretty niche and a lot of my family is green, idk

i feel like if somebody wanted to pay a grey to kill somebody theyd pick one who has ever held a gun

flameofcertainty

probably

but yeah, i'm guessing if you made an important blue mad they could screw you over pretty badly

idk

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

ugh sorry ive been talking about my shit this whole time

it has been kind of A Day i swear i am usually better at conversation

flameofcertainty

it's totally fine!

shadowed-moonrise

how is your day anyay

flameofcertainty

it's been okay

mira and i went to check out that social-dancing place

shadowed-moonrise

oooh

what kind of dance is it?

i guess i might not know purple dances??

flameofcertainty

i don't know if the name will translate

it's mostly the kind you do in a group with other people that's really traditional

shadowed-moonrise

group dances are great

if you have... similar amounts of motor skills to the other people

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

i haven't done anything like it in years and i'm really bad at it but it's still fun

and i'm not bad at it in a stepping-on-feet way

which is probably good, idk

shadowed-moonrise

im pretty sure not stepping on feet is strictly better than the alternative!

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

omg babybro is home <33

flameofcertainty

baby!!!

shadowed-moonrise

he is so good!!!!!!

he taaalks and he plays with me and ive been teaching him abstract concepts bc i find it really exciting when he knows abstract concepts

flameofcertainty

tell me more about this baby

shadowed-moonrise

he can do numbers up to twelve and circles and triangles and 'many' and 'other' and i asked him what one plus one was and he said 'two ones' which means he *actually understands what it means*

he has adooorable curly hair

and a little nose

and he will boop my nose with his nose if i ask him to

and he loves my weighted blanket

flameofcertainty

baaabbyyyy

what a good baby

shadowed-moonrise

i guess at this point he might not 'technically' be a baby anymore? but hes a baaaabbbyyy

[lemme edit a picture of my irl little brother to have green hair]

https://78.media.tumblr.com/fa8d578702cf6c0ed9269902f535982a/tumblr_messaging_p7ryailotL1vio47i_1280.png

https://78.media.tumblr.com/b8ec991036777a0f24c9ed84a194d921/tumblr_messaging_p7ryanbD931vio47i_250.png

baby!!!! <333

second picture featuring Grey Grandma

flameofcertainty

baby!!!!

baaaabbbbyyyyy

he's so smol

shadowed-moonrise

so small!!!!!

and smiley!!!!

flameofcertainty

happy baby!

shadowed-moonrise

i hope he is happy foreeeeever

shadowed-moonrise

his lil nose is tan bc it gets in the sun more than the rest of his face

bc he has a little baby face!!!!!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

little baby face on the little happy baby!!!!

he's so good

shadowed-moonrise

hes next to me playing with my blanket

i looove him

flameofcertainty

what a good baby

shadowed-moonrise

i told him i was talking a friend and he says hi

although im not sure he really gets the idea of the internet yet

he seemed kinda confused

flameofcertainty

hi baby-sibling-of-ashka

flameofcertainty

he's such a cute baby

shadowed-moonrise

his name is avidik

we keep arguing about whether to use avi or idi as a nickname

flameofcertainty

hi avidik!!

shadowed-moonrise

oh no he spilled water on the carpet

its alright its a pretty waterproof carpet

he ran at me and jumped in my arms

so!!!! good!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

eeee

flameofcertainty

baby

flameofcertainty

good baby

shadowed-moonrise

oh also have you seen this yellow violinist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGhPGH2YROA

seems like your kind of thing

flameofcertainty

wow that's pretty

shadowed-moonrise

oh i could take a picture of avi with my violin

he is not green, technically

although he also does not know how to play even a little bit

flameofcertainty

do you play violin too?

shadowed-moonrise

a little

shadowed-moonrise

im not like good at it

but it is fun

rn i am mostly actually learning to sign but i dont understand how notes correspond to mouth sounds so if i need to sightread i play songs on the violin first and then once ive heard them i can sing them

flameofcertainty

violin is great

shadowed-moonrise

it is!!!

i always felt like i should learn piano bc its easy but i like violin so much

one of my other brothers writes a lot of synth music

its really good

he plays it without telling us it's his to get unbiased answers and then he tells us and were like HOLY SHIT

flameofcertainty

gosh

flameofcertainty

that's really sweet

shadowed-moonrise

ok i’m not really online but I TAUGHT AVIDI A LETTER

HE KNOWS A LETTER

i’m so proud of him

shadowed-moonrise

hi hi

flameofcertainty

a letter!

what a good smol!

flameofcertainty

which letter is it?

i guess it might not be a letter orvaran has

shadowed-moonrise

it's [forcetranslate]a[/forcetranslate]

or uh

[forceliteral]a[/forceliteral]

shadowed-moonrise

idk if that worked

flameofcertainty

yeah

we have that sound but it's written differently

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

it's the last one in my name

[preservecharacter] a [/preservecharacter]

shadowed-moonrise

i wonder if its always the same sound

i think it can make a couple sounds in anitami

flameofcertainty

just one in orvaran

flameofcertainty

maybe two

i'm not sure if they're technically separate sounds

and then there's accents and things

shadowed-moonrise

idk if i should try to teach him to read in valtaz

he speaks some but tbh there is just no situation where you even need to be able to read valtaz

flameofcertainty

maybe someday he'll want to swap to yvalta

for some reason

shadowed-moonrise

.............i really doubt it?

i guess if he wants to retire in the Old Country

flameofcertainty

i hear older people sometimes swap for the weather

flameofcertainty

or something

shadowed-moonrise

there are apps to machine translate physical signs and stuff but i guess theyd be annoying to use all the time

flameofcertainty

yeah

if he knows valtaz he can learn to read it if he ever wants to

right?

i'm not really sure how this works

'how to teach your family foreign languages' wasn't really covered in purple school

shadowed-moonrise

i think i should probably teach him the alphabet but not like focus on it

yeah my parents swapped out of yvalta with some retirees who wanted to go there for the weather and were unaffected by the horrible contract system bc they were too old to have more kids anyway

flameofcertainty

i can't really think why else you'd want to live there

flameofcertainty

lineality maybe

but there are other matrilineal countries

shadowed-moonrise

arent most countries matrilineal?

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i think historically matrilineal was easier because like..... there can be ambiguity about who the father is if you dont have good genetic testing (and a database, in some cases), but you can always tell which person a baby literally just came out of

flameofcertainty

that makes sense for why

we're matrilineal

maybe someone who lived in ceredan would swap to yvalta for lineality, ceredan does permissions anyways

except for blues i think

shadowed-moonrise

how do blues even have kids in permissions countries

shadowed-moonrise

"ashka your family is from a permissions country" its not like they talked to blues a bunch

flameofcertainty

i think they have to impress other blues

probably they don't let you give yourself a permission

because then everyone would just do that

shadowed-moonrise

.....how many kids does the most important blue get to have tho

flameofcertainty

no idea

i think it varies by country

the one with the bears and no greys makes a big deal about the monarch only getting two

shadowed-moonrise

i guess with blues its always more "how many kids is it a good idea to have so that they can give them all a good inheritance" than "how many kids can they literally afford"

aww thats kinda cute

shadowed-moonrise

if i lived in a country where the king had like six kids i would be pretty pissed

flameofcertainty

good inheritances might be less important in permissions countries

i bet the way you impress people is with politics

or maybe real estate if you're bribing people, idk

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

it’s impressive that most permissions countries basically function okay

cuz like it seems like blues having to care so much about impressing other blues would mess with things

flameofcertainty

yeah

i don't think they function as well as most places

but that could just be propaganda

shadowed-moonrise

yeahhh idk how to tell the difference between “permissions countries kind of suck” and “permissions countries are usually small, often ex-oahk, etc, which makes stuff harder on them” and “our governments just don’t like them”

i’m low key impressed that blues in auction countries don’t make too many blue credits so they’ll be cheaper, tbh

i guess they super don’t make those decisions in spring + the international community would not be too happy about it

flameofcertainty

everyone i know from a permissions country says they suck but that's like two people

and if you increase blue credits everyone who isn't blue gets mad

shadowed-moonrise

my parents say yvalta sucks and i believe them but like idk how much it’s yvalta’s *fault*

flameofcertainty

i think the big thing is if for some reason a blue hates you a permissions granting blue can screw you over way more than a credit country blue

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that’s a big deal

idk a credit country blue can probably get you sterilized if they try really hard but it would take them more trying

flameofcertainty

yeah maybe

flameofcertainty

i've never heard of that happening in a credit country but that doesn't mean it never does

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

shadowed-moonrise

anitam is trying out a first child subsidy

which is neat i thin

think

flameofcertainty

cool

are they subsidizing the whole credit?

or just some of it

shadowed-moonrise

noooo theyre starting with like 4%

shadowed-moonrise

and increasing gradually

bc you know how changing laws goes

sooooo sloooowwwww

flameofcertainty

i guess 4% is better than nothing

shadowed-moonrise

but eventually it will be a substantial fraction of the credit i think

flameofcertainty

but probably good not to do it all at once

i know there's some countries where everyone gets one and the rest are auctioned

shadowed-moonrise

first kid free just seems so much more humane? like i understand why credits are useful and stuff but people *just not getting a kid at all ever* is awful

flameofcertainty

summary bank says alavet, av valdin, celenta, fnr, ochero, qoloc

maybe some random tiny countries that no one bothered to include

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

on the list, i mean

and yeah, i see what you mean

i wouldn't want to live in a voan country because i like knowing that if i work really hard i could get three

but it makes me sad to think about people with zero

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

flameofcertainty

i mean probably some people should get zero, like child abusers, but an auction's not going to stop them

shadowed-moonrise

hm i bet in voan/first kid free systems there’s probably a lot of four and five year olds impulsively having kids that they’re not entirely ready for but idk like maybe that’s just something they get to do

flameofcertainty

okay i'm looking at the summary bank article about the voan system

and the age when the most people have their first kid is five

flameofcertainty

but that's not most of the people

if that makes sense

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

i know when i was almost-four they made a big deal in school about how we should all get long-term all-spring birth control

i bet they do that in voa

i guess i don't know for sure

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i saw someone on tumblr talking about how they usually get the long term birth control and they get went on vacation to the southern hemisphere and just didn’t remember that they didn’t have the birth control and got pregnant

(they were asking if you can still get aftermarket credits in the *fall*)

flameofcertainty

wow

that must suck

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i hope they managed to get an aftermarket credit

flameofcertainty

yeah

i bet they're cheaper in fall

since most people aren't getting pregnant

i definitely wouldn't want to have a kid with anyone i dated when i was four but maybe some people get really lucky there

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that’s a lot of what i’m thinking about like.... most people don’t know people who are definitely good coparents for them when they’re four

shadowed-moonrise

because it just takes time to figure that out

flameofcertainty

i'd've also been a really bad parent when i was four but some of that is me-things

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that toooo

i’m four and i’m super not ready to be a parent!!

shadowed-moonrise

i feel like i know how to be a good parent in THEORY but in practice i don’t like have the energy or emotional stability

avidi was born the spring i turned four, which was really good <3

flameofcertainty

that's so good

when i was four i was living with a friend rather than my parents

but if someone had dropped a baby on me i'd have been so unprepared

and my friend was living with their parents

flameofcertainty

so there were actual responsible people in the apartment

shadowed-moonrise

nodnodnod

shadowed-moonrise

fall/winter when i was three i was spending a lot of time with friends in other cities and stuff to get awaaay but then they there suddenly like “you know what, we’re having another baby this spring” so i came back

there are some upsides to the fact that my green mom has grey babies.......

flameofcertainty

i have a little sister

i've never actually met her

maybe someday i'll be able to make myself

shadowed-moonrise

oh wow i’m so sorry

flameofcertainty

it's not your fault

shadowed-moonrise

if you want to talk about it, or be distracted from it, or whatever-

flameofcertainty

if you want the story today's a good day for me to tell it

otoh it's definitely pollution-adjacent and i don't know if it's a good day for you

shadowed-moonrise

i think i can handle it, it is a good hypersensitivity day for me

flameofcertainty

so during the voan food crisis we couldn't afford clean food past the first couple months

you'd think living on a farm would help but it had been a bad year the previous year and none of our crops were coming up that season

shadowed-moonrise

oh. oh.

flameofcertainty

and i tried to force myself to eat the polluted food but i couldn't even make myself touch it

that's not the thing yet

so i was at risk of starving to death

and my mom got one of the neighbors to give her a super sketchy probably-illegal loan

flameofcertainty

because otherwise i might literally die

shadowed-moonrise

fuck

flameofcertainty

fast forward to 3423, the neighbor comes and asks for the money back

actually he'd been doing that for a while but she'd been able to put him off

we were super not going to be able to pay it back

and the loan was sketchy enough that she wasn't really sure what would happen if she didn't

just that it would probably be worse than normal

i told her i thought it would be okay

when she asked

flameofcertainty

if she

flameofcertainty

people remember fall 3422 as the introduction of the orvaran system

that was just lathande

spring 3423 was when they rolled it out everywhere

even small farming towns need someone to collect garbage, and the jobs paid really well

they had to, if they wanted to find enough people

i thought i'd be okay

shadowed-moonrise

fuck.

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

i was really really wrong

so wrong

shadowed-moonrise

......yeah wow

flameofcertainty

that's why i wound up moving in with a friend, if i'd stayed there a week longer i'd

it wouldn't have been good

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

flameofcertainty

they didn't try to stop me

which is good

would've been silly for them to go to all that work just for me to end up dead anyways

shadowed-moonrise

hey you survived

flameofcertainty

i did

shadowed-moonrise

it was super worth it for them to do it becuase you survived

flameofcertainty

yeah

i know intellectually she's clean

but trying to be in the same room as dad or my older brother is about the same as lighting myself on fire, brain-wise

and if it's her it's worth

*worse

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

can you talk to them online or does that not work either

flameofcertainty

not really

flameofcertainty

they have my email address

they tell me things like 'you have a sister now'

she tried leaving the job once she had enough money to pay the guy back

flameofcertainty

to see if it would help, you know

flameofcertainty

it. uh. didn't.

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

i was born in 23, which. is good. because if i found out i/my parents had eaten polluted food when i was a baby

shadowed-moonrise

colorjustice says that almost all unverifiable food was actually not polluted but

shadowed-moonrise

well maybe if i payed them enough i could go through the like fucking six month cleaning process? and maybe after that it would be okay?

but im not sure it would be enough

flameofcertainty

yeah

i know what you mean

if i'd been a year younger and they'd told me it was clean i'd've believed them

if i'd been a year older i'd probably just have killed myself

flameofcertainty

one of my friends from the treatment program

didn't make it

shadowed-moonrise

i had a friend in school

who was hyper, worse than me

way worse

shadowed-moonrise

he was *going to school* but just barely, he had to take a bunch of meds with a bunch of side effects to get out of the house at all

shadowed-moonrise

and he was a year older than me

flameofcertainty

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

so their class learned about the food crisis? and he left school that day like normal and he took the train home and he got in the shower with his clothes on and took all his meds at once

flameofcertainty

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

they told me he killed himself but nobody would *tell me why* because like i was hyper too and they were worried about copycat stuff

i stayed in touch with his mom, she told me later

she FOUND him

flameofcertainty

i'm so so sorry

shadowed-moonrise

that

shadowed-moonrise

i cant imagine

finding your dead child

it was pretty hard on me but she was really never the same

flameofcertainty

yeah

wow

that's

i don't really have words

:( :( :(

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

he was an only child

flameofcertainty

:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

shadowed-moonrise

i think they were sort of saving for another credit but they ended up spending a lot of money on like, building a room for him where he would feel clean, and stuff

and afterwards, it's not like she was going to have another kid after what happened

flameofcertainty

right

shadowed-moonrise

they wanted to take me out of class for the segment on the food crisis for, you know, obvious reasons, but that was winter when i was three and i’d already found out from like being online and reading stuff so i guessed what it was? and they freaked the fuck out when i was like “are you just worried about me finding out about the voan food crisis”

flameofcertainty

were they hoping to just ... pretend it never happened? forever?

it's not like it's easy not to learn about, if you use the internet

shadowed-moonrise

i guess i was going to Find Out When I Was Older

or something

shadowed-moonrise

i mean i understand the thinking there, like the last time was horrible and i could really just have found out later

shadowed-moonrise

the last time being my friend

flameofcertainty

yeah

i see where they were coming from

flameofcertainty

my school kept me out of class for anything pollution-related but obviously they weren't going to stop me from finding out about the food crisis

shadowed-moonrise

......yeah

i am so sorry you had to live through that

flameofcertainty

thanks

flameofcertainty

my parents thought about having me do online school while it was happening

shadowed-moonrise

it was like really really irresponsible to just tell my friend and i’m like not sure what happened there

flameofcertainty

i don't know

flameofcertainty

mesosensitives can be really bad at guessing what's going to hurt us

shadowed-moonrise

part of it is just that grey schools aren’t that well equipped for..... dealing with....... disability, i guess?

flameofcertainty

i had a classmate who thought it would help me not starve if she vividly described what it was like to eat polluted food

shadowed-moonrise

..........what

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i mean, i guess it’s good that they tried to help

but. WHAT

flameofcertainty

our teacher moved the seating chart so i wouldn't have to sit next to her

and gave me permission to not go to the cafeteria during lunch

but yeah, i am really not sure how she came to that conclusion

shadowed-moonrise

yeah wow

flameofcertainty

i guess if she thought i was going to starve to death unless she did something

shadowed-moonrise

sometimes i wish i could just live in a hyper colony

shadowed-moonrise

even though like i’m sort of a weird hyper? they might have called it sensitivity disorder nos if i didn’t take so many decontam showers for no reason

but it would still be BETTER

flameofcertainty

there would be a lot of nice things about that

on the other hand sometimes i hear about a hyper person thinking something is polluted and my brain decides 'oh, they must be right'

even though it was fine before

and i bet that would happen a lot more

shadowed-moonrise

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

if we all thought that the UNION of the things we thought were polluted were polluted.......

we would die very quickly, i guess

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

“oh this one guy (MADE UP) said water is polluted so uh goodbye cruel world i guess”

flameofcertainty

and even without that we'd need robots or something

to take care of garbage

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i think robots are more of a political problem than a technological one, maybe we could get away with “look we’re a hyper colony we can’t even TALK TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD most days much less murder anybody”

flameofcertainty

i think it's like

flameofcertainty

if people spent a decade developing them then they'd have them

but they aren't mostly, because of the politics

shadowed-moonrise

right that makes sense

flameofcertainty

i'm fine with mesosensitives most days, but then *sometimes* it's like they decided to figure out how to be maximally terrible

shadowed-moonrise

honestly so many jobs should be automated not bc pollution but just bc they could be and those people could then do a more skilled job or live in the country and make art or whatever but we can’t build robots at all bc of the political thing

like assembly lines could go a lot more automated than they are and then we’d just be richer and fewer as a society

shadowed-moonrise

i feel very Solidarity with hypos but sometimes..... they too........ are the worst

maybe we could get nice hypos for our colony to take care of us

flameofcertainty

maybe

flameofcertainty

there are totally nice hypos but there are also hypos who do things like put untagged photos of pollution on the internet

shadowed-moonrise

yeah it really varies a lot

shadowed-moonrise

sometimes talking to hypos is calming bc mesos are like “but MY pollution instinct says this isn’t polluted” and that doesn’t help me at all but i have an amateur theologian hypo friend who can just talk me through the theological position and that helps a lot more

flameofcertainty

it's good that you have that

flameofcertainty

and we're not perfect either

there are hypersensitives who think orvaran system workers need to all be executed

or that if you don't do [insert absurdly specific thing here] you're not really hyper

flameofcertainty

like i can't handle being around mom but i don't want people to murder her

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i definitely like

think that there’s an objective position on pollution

shadowed-moonrise

and it’s probably not exactly the theological one but it’s closer to that than to my paranoia

shadowed-moonrise

and honestly like... i *get* it but it just takes an insane amount of arrogance to be like, “of all the billions and billions of people with pollution instincts, mine is the objective truth and everybody else, including an entire scientific field, is wrong”

flameofcertainty

oh i also saw this one person saying everyone alive during the food crisis needed to be executed

that one was "fun"

shadowed-moonrise

oh my fucking

fuck that person so much

also how are they planning to run society after they’ve killed everyone over four???????

flameofcertainty

i don't know???

shadowed-moonrise

also i feel a lot of people with proposals involving doing lots of murder........... fail to account for the fact that corpses are polluted

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

anyways

how's life been

shadowed-moonrise

a WONDERFUL PRETTY NICE blue hired me and i might maybe have a crush

flameofcertainty

eeeee congratulations!

shadowed-moonrise

i don’t know how to approach this tho

“hey baby...... i would have sex with you for free (on a good day)”

flameofcertainty

if they've hired you a couple times you could ask? or something?

flameofcertainty

i am kind of bad at relationship advice

shadowed-moonrise

yes i think that i will actually do is like

wait a while and see if he contacts me

and then maybe ask him out or something

flameofcertainty

good luck!!

shadowed-moonrise

how’ve you been

shadowed-moonrise

also, i saw you post an out of stock green and purple scarf and i could try to make you something like it

i can’t do literally that but i’m thinking like getting some white silk and waxing designs on it and then dyeing it one color and then drawing on the designs in the other

this might be totally the wrong way to go about it but it sounds fun

flameofcertainty

gosh, that's really nice of you

flameofcertainty

if you ended up doing this i'd have a couple of sensitivity-related materials requests but i don't think any of them would actually make the project impossible

shadowed-moonrise

i think that kind of project would be fun rn, what are your materials requests?

flameofcertainty

the main one is not from [link to list of countries that have done cleaning and integrated ex-reds]

or eles decontaminatable

*else

but i think that might mess up the dyes?

shadowed-moonrise

ok i can do that

yeah i think it’s probably easier to just buy from not those countries than to try to... decontaminate..... dyes

shadowed-moonrise

like most commercial clothes are decontaminatable and........ have colors but they know what they’re doing and i do not

flameofcertainty

yeah

now i want to do something nice for you, help

shadowed-moonrise

umm i really like [space shoenberg], you could record yourself playing one of his pieces? although idk how much you can do that on just violin

flameofcertainty

i'll try my best

maybe i can find an arrangement or something

shadowed-moonrise

that’s so nice of you

you don’t have to, i’ll like, enjoy the project anyway

i’m not sure how to make green and purple work well as a color combo, do you mind if there’s other colors?

8 notes · View notes

smireyac · 3 years

Text

fuck this year man u dont even get cute emojis in the title this time

so lemme just start by saying fuck 2020

now that we’re on the same page, lets get into it

so i dont have to explain all the reasons why this year sucked bc u just need to google 2020 and there will be a million reasons why it was TOTAL FUCKING GARBAGE...... usually when so many people collectively say a year sucked ass, i can be like “oh it wasnt *all* bad for me, personally” haha not this year!!!

its super fucking depressing to look at how hopeful and positive i was about 2020 a year ago..... ofc there was no way for me to have known it would all go to shit but i still really appreciate the tone i had set... reading over the previous reflections and seeing how harsh and negative i was @ myself made the softness of last years post super refreshing....

now i said i dont *have* to explain all the ways 2020 was shitty, but i am gonna explain the biggest reason this year was shitty for me, personally..... it might seem really small in comparison to the ways 2020 was shitty as a whole on like a global scale? but really the biggest reason 2020 sucked ass was i didnt get to really hang out with any of my friends in real life for 9 out of the 12 months of the year.... and really it was like the first week of march that shit hit the fan so like really it was only 2 months that we got to see each other....... if u rmbr p much every previous retrospective post ive made, there was a big emphasis on friends..... ive come to realize that im actually a very *extra*verted person??? despite my overall shyness and homebody attitude, i would always choose to hang out with people over being alone so stay-at-home orders FUCKING SUCKED??? when we all thought it would be over in a couple weeks, maybe a month it was fine?? hey its a good time to draw or catch up on that reading and/or writing i said i was gonna do maybe even start learning to drive?? it’ll be no big deal THEN it wasn’t over in a month and it wasnt gonna BE over anytime soon and no one important was doing anything about it and its an election year and black lives have always mattered and yet everything is so uncertain and

[inhale]

[exhale]

this year was..... a lot...... too much in fact

in 2018, i had said that i watched vox’s video on the year in 5 mins and cried... if i watched this year in five minutes, i dont think i would be able to breathe......

SO instead of making myself CRY..... lets try to think about any GOOD things that happened and think about what we can do to make 2021 good for ourselves:

GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED:

-i *didn’t* lose my job!! sad that so many others cannot say the same but im trying to make myself feel *better* not WORSE so i got to keep my job and i actually work more hours than before so!!

-i actually *did* learn to drive this year!!!! and im pretty good at it??? for someone that just started this year anyway?? i probably *would* have my DRIVER’S LICENSE right now if it weren’t for a surge in cases in a certain STATE that i happen to live in......... but w/e its fine i get more time to practice and im ~~**DEFINITELY**~~ going pass my test and get my license ~whenever it is that i can reschedule my dmv appt~

lmfao its so funny that last year, i was absolutely *dreading* learning to drive but i so fucking get why everyone was like ‘you need to learn how to drive’ i legit love it so much???? ive always been a car person but that was like purely for the aesthetic but now that i can drive im just....... WOOOW this really is what freedom feels like.... like ik that public transportation is amazing and i will always champion it but nothing beats being purely in control of your destination.... i also wanted to buy myself a car for my birthday even tho i couldnt really drive yet but then sien had to fix smthg on her car and it was EXPENSIVE AF and my mom was like “u dont need to buy a car yet” so i put the brakes [haha] on that... but soon... once i get my license,,, then i will have u my love................. so with that being “my most serious goal of 2020″ im glad i did it

-i was one of lucky ones and got unemployment when i couldn’t work so i have a lot of money saved in the bank??? pls no one steal my identity i wanna use that money to buy myself a car and/or for when we move out 🤞🤞 we’ll just have to wait and seeeeee....................

-i had mentioned playing dnd last year too and thats been going STRONG as hell thank goodness....... we couldnt keep playing in person but when we moved it to online, not only did we actually get to hang out a lot more, we made more friends??? introduced new people to the group?? its so good and in fact probably the only thing that kept me even a little bit sane this year......

-this is more of an honorable mention than an accomplishment but im this 🤏close to catching up with critical role and thats partially thanks to the pandemic lmao sooooo ???

aaaaaaand thats p much it lol i didnt really accomplish any of my other goals bc reasons................. but!!! as cliche as it sounds, with a light at the end of the tunnel, im confident that i can turn that all around this year.... so if 2016 was the year of change, 2017 was the year of getting used to shit, 2018 was the year of getting *too* used to shit and 2019 ended up being the year of friends, 2020 was the year of absolute shit and it doesn’t fucking count....... i learned a lot this year, biggest lesson of all is that life is short and if i were to have died at any point last year, what the fuck would i have to show for it??? so usually i end up giving a theme or name to a year after its done but this time im determined to make 2021 into what i want it to be SO i am declaring this year, the year of our lord 2021, the year of new experiences!!!! what the fuck does that mean you ask? well ill tell you!!! im gonna try new things this year!! make a very pointed effort to do things outside my comfort zone?? and for my goals this year, im going back to my old way of making a huge list of stuff u wanna do and seeing how much i can actuallly accomplish!! now i said theres a light but we really dont know when all this shit will end and life will go “bAcK tO nOrMaL” so whos to say ill get to accomplish any of it? at the same time, there are plenty of stuff on the list that i can do within the pandemic set parameters so!! lets see this list!!

2021 GOALS:

[check boxes bc there is no plain box emoji lmao]

☑️ read new books!! i’ll keep last years goal bc i didnt meet it and i have good reads now which tells me i just need to read 1.5 books a month to reach that goal!! huzzah!

☑️ watch new shows and new movies b4 u end up watching shit you’ve already seen a million times... i bought an old planner for 2020 instead of 2021 by accident but i hope it will help keep track of the movies/shows along with the books too!

☑️ listen to new music!! this years spotify wrapped was garbo it only had like 3 albums and a bunch of other shit i always listen to so i gotta fix that lmfao

☑️ write new stories!! i am comforted by the shit ive been writing for the past like 7 years but if my screenplay class taught me anything its that there are a lot of stories to tell and i got so many ideas floating around in this noggin!! instead of an arbitrary word count, why dont i say write idk 3 new stories, start to finish, in whatever medium idc screenplay, short story, comic, twine WHATEVER!! do it!

☑️ eat new food!! lmao this one seems the most silly to me but ive never had indian food, ive never had [not really anyway] korean food, i want to find new restaurants and eat new food!!! yum!

☑️ go on a road trip!!

☑️ visit some place ive never been before!!

☑️ go on a hike??

☑️ go to mexico again

☑️ ride a scary rollercoaster you previously wouldnt have

☑️ go to a club

☑️ get silly drunk fr

☑️ FUCK IT go on dates!! self date friend dates sister date cousin dates R- Romantic... dates ??? FUCK IT!!! YEAH!! DATE ALL UP IN THIS BITCH!!

☑️ learn to use blender

☑️ animate something

��️ make a big painting

☑️ cosplay ???? AHH

☑️ learn to roller skate lmao u bought the skates and were so excited for them!!

☑️ go somewhere SUPER DARK and go see some real stars!!!!

☑️ and to top it all off, throw the airbnb house party that we’ve been talking about for MONTHS lmao

hmmmm,, i think thats a good enough list for now ?? another thing i wanted to accomplish.... that im scared to speak into existence bc then i cant back out of doing it...........and it doesnt align with the whole “new” spirit of 2021 but.......... i want to like start making apartments for rent????? like i want to have something of it to show by, if not the 8th anniversary then by the end of the year HHUFF THERE I SAID IT......... no turning back now..........

alright its almost midnight on.... whats this? its already jan. 1st??? lmao yeah fuck it i didnt keep up with anything i normally did this year who cares i made up the rules i can break them too lol

so yeah

we’ll see what this year brings us,,,,

hoo boy

#omg i talk #happy new year

0 notes

chickenfetus · 6 years

Note

ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ????

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general?????????

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples:

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them???????

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual.

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me.

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual.

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good?????

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross

#softshouyous #asks #if anybody actually read all through all of this.... thank u.#FALEN THAKNK U FOR ASKING I LOVE U

1 note · View note

curlyshepards · 7 years

Note

LITERALLY i want all of them for curly shepard

IM SORRY TO THE MOBILE USERS WHO THIS WILL NOT APPEAR UNDER A READ MORE FOR

What does their bedroom look like?

idk why i’m such a firm believer of this BUT: tim and curly share a room, so typically half of it is clean and the other half (curly’s half) is a fucking mess all the time

Do they have any daily rituals?

every day for lunch at school him & his friends just go under the bleachers and drink. unfortunately curly has no limits so when lunch is over he usually just ends up ditching the rest of the day to go continue drinking somewhere else

Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

he doesn’t make a conscience effort to exercise, but he walks basically everywhere when tim has the car. so he’s in pretty good shape bc of that & bc of fighting

What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

curly has never made dinner a day in his life and will never make an attempt to nor does anyone want him to. if theres nothing already made at the house he’ll either just go without or go to the diner

Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

he’s a generally messy person, but he takes pride in his looks so he takes care of himself. he’s always clean shaven and smells really good. his room, however, is a disaster scene

Eating habits and sample daily menu

usually not awake for breakfast, and for lunch he’ll scrap up whatever he can find in his house (probably ends up being a sandwich or cereal) and for dinner he’ll follow tim somewhere and make him buy him dinner. he loves eating at the diner and never underestimate his ability to eat breakfast meals at 11 o clock at night

Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

his sole reason for going to school is to waste time (thats what he tells everyone at least but its rlly because tim will not let him drop out) but if hes not in school then he’s probably just walking around his neighborhood w/ his friends or hanging out at the strip trynna start fights

Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

dont.....really know what this means. all im thinkin about is that chocolate stuff. but he likes chocolate so lets go with that. he could eat 50 kit kats in a row, probably

Makeup?

makeup sex? absolutely. he’ll start a fight with his boo just for the sex

Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

i honestly dont see him having a mental illness

Intellectual pursuits?

intellectual isn’t really his thing. BUT i can see him really liking labs and stuff

Favorite book genre?

he hATES reading, but mostly because he’‘s dyslexic and he was brought up thinking that he was dumb bc he had trouble reading. ponyboy is the one that ends up helping him, though, and sometimes he’ll read to curly (action books bc they’re the only ones that’ll keep curly’s attention. there are numerous times he regrets the decision bc curly cant keep quiet for more than a few minutes.)

Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

(i can already see the purly supporters @’ing me yikes) but PERSONALLY i think he’s straight. idk what this means by thoughts on s.o. in general but im bisexual ??? idc about sexual orientation ??

Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)

he’s got a lot of scars, mostly on his knuckles but a few up and down his arms. he’s deathly allergic to seafood but doesn’t care bc it looks gross to him anyway.

Biggest and smallest short term goal?

biggest: honestly just making it through another day is an achievement to him

smallest: he swears that one day he will beat sodapop curtis in a drag race

Biggest and smallest long term goal?

biggest: being as respected as tim is when he’s older

smallest: he will own a puppy at some point

Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

white t-shirt, jeans, tennis shoes, and if its not too hot then a leather jacket. he hates jean jackets tho and WILL make fun of anyone who wears them

Favorite beverage?

beer. but also pepsi. hes weird.

What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

we’re about to get deep. on good nights he just thinks about his day. there’s never a boring time with him, so he’s always got a lot to think about. he could be thinking about a girl he’s met or just hooked up with, or about what his friends got into. on bad nights though, he thinks about his dad and how he never got to know him. he thinks about how maybe he’ll never be like tim, and he’ll never be the brother that angie falls back on (that doesn’t bother him as much as it should, but it still pops into his mind) the number one thing that keeps him awake is never amounting to the shepard name

Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

just stupidity. he broke a lot of bones, needed a lot of stitches, and was bed bound too many times to count. there was one incident that tim loves to tell: the first time curly got into a fight. the guy was two times bigger than curly, but he didn’t care. the fight was done in 5 minutes, and curly had his first broken nose

Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

turn ons: i can see him really liking outgoing girls/ girls that are upfront. also neck kisses, collarbone kisses, hair pulling, back scratching

turn offs: daddy kink (seriously, its gross, stop forcing this on my son. he already has enough daddy issues) but nothing else really he will do basically anything

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

either a very crude & poorly done drawing or a sign that says “curly is the hottest shepard”

How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

he is NOT. it doesnt really bother him that hes disorganized, but it drives tim up the wall. he’s always getting onto curly for being a slob

Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

he doesn’t really care, but since he’s forced to go to school he might as well enjoy something, which ends up being the labs in science. he likes the dissections, mostly, but he thinks looking into the microscopes are cool too (mostly bc him and his friends make shapes out of the slides)

How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

alive, hopefully

Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

he kinda just takes it day by day and doesnt care about the future. hes a strong believer that things will fall into place if theyre supposed to happen

What is their biggest regret?

probably being too emotional and not toughening up enough when he was younger

Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

SO this is an OC but his best friend is a guy in the gang named brian. his worst enemy is also in the gang and his name is jimmy and he fucking hates that kid.

Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

he’s probably the one that caused the disaster, so he immediately tries to fix it on his own. which usually works, but it leaves a mess behind that he’ll attempt (and fail) to cover up. a few hours later he’ll get chewed out by tim.

Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

so lets say tim dies. tim is the only person that curly is really close to, because if there’s one thing that he learned from his brother it’s to never let anyone too close. but he always thought that tim would be there for him so he worshipped him. but ANYWAY tim dies and curly shuts down. i can honestly see him losing it bc tim was all curly ever knew, he was always there to fix the mess curly got himself in and now he’s just kinda alone in the world. he’d still have the gang, but they’d remind him too much of his brother, so he’d eventually cut ties with them. it’d take a major, new person to bring him out of his stump, and thats if he ever really brings himself back to normal

Most prized possession?

the hand-me-down leather jacket tim gave him

Thoughts on material possessions in general?

doesnt really care about them bc he doesnt have a lot. he likes the things with meaning, but couldnt care less about expensive & nice things

Concept of home and family?

hes VERY family oriented and a huge mama’s boy, but he hates his step dad. he’d do anything to protect angela and anything that tim asked him. family always comes first with him

Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)

it kinda depends. on his sexual life hes really TMI, but about emotions and family and secrets he’s really private. you could count on one hand the amount of people that he’s told private stuff to, and even then they don’t know the full story. i think the only people who would ever truly know him are tim and his significant other

What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

football!! and hes actually good at it. tim never plays tho so the only time he gets to is with the curtis gang

What makes them feel guilty?

fucking up on a gang job and letting tim down

Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

more emotional!! that’s the biggest difference between curly and tim. tim will think of the long-term effects before making a decision, where curly is more of an “act now, think later” type person. his decisions are usually the wrong ones, but they make for a better story

Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

i’d wanna say type B, because he is super laid back and easy going and isn’t really competitive (unless its for a joke)

What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

getting away for a while. he loves driving and ive always seen him as having a little secluded spot that he goes to by himself during his teenage years. eventually though he finds the right person that he can take, and just being with them makes him feel better

Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

neither tbh. he may think that he’s better than some greasers (because honestly he is) but he doesnt think of himself as above other classes. he finds it unfair that socs and middle class people have a superiority complex, so it’d be dumb for him to have one. he just thinks everyone should be equal (but he knows theyre not, and for that reason he’ll fight any soc he can get his hands on)

How misanthropic are they?

hes very easy to get along with if you come from the same type of neighborhood. he’s open to everyone that’s cool with his gang, but he’ll be the worst kind of person to rival gangs and rich people. so he doesnt dislike people, because he can be a really cool guy, you just have to come from his streets

Hobbies?

football, fighting, drinking, poker. y’know, d00d stuff

How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

he graduates high school and thats it. and he definitely values self education more, the stuff he’s learned by himself ahve been more useful to him than the Pythagorean theorem ever will be

Religion?

he believes in a god but never really thinks about it. hes not religious by any means but i think it kinda comforts him knowing something comes after life

Superstitions or views on the occult?

he doesnt believe in superstitions imo!!

Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

both. he’ll talk a big game and then follow through with his promises

If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

THE QUESTION IVE BEEN WAITING FOR OK if curly ever fell in love, it’d be with someone making him feel okay with being him. they’d make him want to be a better man & not just a mini tim. they’d have to accept that curly would always idolize his brother, but they’d also help him detach a little. they’d love him for him and accept the fact that they can’t change him. they’d probably be just as wild as he is, bc they’d have to keep up with his lifestyle. they couldn’t take life too seriously and would never know what the future had in store for them. i can see curly eventually being able to be romantic, but it’d never be in public

How do they express love?

kisses, holding hands, little acts of kindness (giving them something that reminded him of them, asking how their day was, remembering little things)

If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

daddy came to win

Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

nah i dont think he is. i think he’s kinda accepted that there is a very real possibility that he won’t make it past 30 w the way he’s living, so that’s why he takes it day by day

#long post #VERY LONG PSOT #Anonymous

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askthetotallynotsquad · 5 years

Text

The richjake thing continued cause my phone is being dumb:

Dustin: aww Jake look your little boyfriend has come to save you

Rich: don't fucking tetht me bitch *>:(*

Dustin: *>:(* what'd you just call me?

Rich: oh are you that dumb that I have to thpell it out for you? B-I-T-C-H, Bitch, it'th that eathy

Dustin: wanna know what else is easy? *punches Richard mitochondria goranski really hard* that is

Rich: *falls back bc ow*

Jake: *t aller than Dustin bc Jake is the tallest boy* you're a thot *pokes both of dustins eyes*

Dustin: ouchie

Rich: *Bleeding*

Jake: *p unches Dustin in the mouth???* haha you're a ho

Dustin: *bleeds a bit wow* ouchers

Rich: *bleeddsssss*

Jake: *k ickk* go away dumbass *>:(*

Dustin: *goes away dumbass*

Rich: *passes out from blood loss wow* *also bleeds more*

Jake: *:0* OMG RICHARD *picks up rochurd*

Rich: *bleeds also passed out wow*

Jake: *calls the health people*

Doctor doctor: I'm on my way bud *hangs up*

-1 second later-

Doctor doctor: *arrives*

Jake: *crying :(((* it’s my faulttttt

Rich: *Bleeding still bc uh Dustin punched him really hard and so he broke some of richs bones I think idk Dustin is just strong*

Doctor doctor: bud I gotta go run some tests...

Jake: w-whyyyyy? *soBBING*

Jenna: *records this bc she's Jenna*

Doctor doctor: it looks like freaking hulk hit him.... look bud I don't know if.... uh...

Rich: *wakes up a tiny itty bit* jakeeee...?

Doctor doctor: ....

Jake: oh my god- *so bs and kneels next to rochurd* are you okay? does it hurt? I'm sorry- *g entle hug*

Rich: oW..

Jake: NONONONONO I’M SO SORRY *jumps back and SOBS*

Rich: Jake it'th fine... I'm okay... pleathe don't cry....

Jake: n-nooooo... doctor doctor is he okay?? *SOB*

Jenna: *continues filming this scene* teehee

Doctor doctor: w-we don't know but... theres a big chance... he wont...uh...

Rich: *eyes widen* o-oh....

Jake: wH-wHAT? *vOicECRack* nOOOOOOOO *sOBSOBSOBSOBSOB*

Rich: *lifts up his shirt but almost cries bc it hurts to move* o-oh my god.. *has like a literal fucking hole in his chest like jesus Christ Dustin is strong*

Jake: I’M SO SORRYYYY *sh aking bc he's crying so much* (I guess you could call it jaken shaken)

Rich: Jake it'th fine it'th fucking duthtinth fault-

Jenna: *posts her video on epic youtube*

Jake: *hIccUP* I-I-I- *COUGH* I’m sorry- I-I-I-

Rich: *heart stops beating for a good 3 seconds* -gASPS AIR- hhHh.. hhh..

Doctor doctor: it's um... time to close...

Jake: *continues sobbing* d-do- do- I have to l-leave?

Doctor doctor: ...yeah..

Jake: w-why??

Doctor Doctor: vistor hours are over... I mean I can ask if you can stay...? *calls up people and asks* mhm... mhm..... y-yeah.... thanks... *hangs up* they said Okay so.. *grabs Jenna's arm and leaves the hospital with her*

Jake: richhhh- *SOBSOBSOBSOBSOBSOBSOBSOBSOBSOB*

Rich: Jake- Jake if I die....

Jake: n-NO- you-you-you won’t- you won't die- *:(((((*

Rich: but Jake there is a chance I will..... and you gotta promithe to thtay thtrong for me... okay??

Jake: but-but-but- *sOBSOBSOBSOBSOBSOB*

Rich: *starts crying* Jake pleathe! I don't wanna- I can't- that- if bathically kill you- if you- I dont- pleathe..... *sits up but almost cries more bc it hurtss*

Jake: nonononoono- don’t-don’t sit up- you-you- *sOBSOOBSOBSOB*

Rich: j-Jake promithe me! Pleathe I can't have y-you die too...

Heart thing that I forget what it's called: BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP (beats faster)

Dan: (a HEART MONITOR?)

Jake: *pulls his hood up and hides in it :((((*

Ali: (shush)

Rich: *cries more* i-im thorry...

Jake: *cries quietly in his hood :(*

Rich: *lays back down and winces while doing it bc it hurts wow* *also cries*

Jake: *cries*

Rich: jake-?

Jake: ....

Rich: ... I love you..

Heart monitor: BEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-

Jake: *sCREAMS*

Rich: *dead*

Jake: *SCREAMS*

Later: *:(*

Jake: JENNAAAA- *sobbs*

Jenna: what-

Jake: *collapses onto the couch* rICH DIED *sOBS AUWHDUIAHWDUAWHDIUAWHD*

Rich's ghost: .... *:(*

Jenna: cooollll *couldn't care less*

Jake: *sOBS* jENNA YOU’RE NOT HELPING *AUDHAWJHDNdnKJANdsjn sCREAMS*

Rich's ghost: *hugs Jake?*

Jenna: *awkward pat* its- okay?

Jake: *iNHALE* iT’S NOT OKAYYY *cOUGH COUGH SOB*

Rich's ghost: *:((* *hugs Jake tighter eeee*

Jenna: *runs to her room and locks the door bc she doesn't wanna help*

Jake: I just wanna dieeee- *fall onto the floor :(

Rich's ghost: *starts sobbing ghost tears and thinks with his ghost thoughts: nonononononononononononono-*

Jake: jENNA IF I DIE POST IT ON YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA *hides in his hood :(*

Jenna: *yElla from her room* I WILL!

Rich's ghost: *paces around the room* nononononononono-

Jake: jENNA DO YOU HAVE DUSTIN’S NUMBER

Jenna: YEAH IT'S -blah blah blah dustins number- CAN YOU LEAVE ME ALONE NOW????

Jake: YEAH OKAY SORRY *calls up Dustin*

Dustin: what do you wanttttt *>:(*

Jake: I hope you’re happy *>>:((*

Dustin: *cool dude chuckle* what?

Jake: you killed my boyfriend asshole

Dustin: boyfriend? Who? Wait... Rich? I'm so sorry... *genuinely sorry*

Jake: uh I don’t give a sHIT-! do you know how that makes me feel? I’m actually gOING to kILL MYSELF DIPSHIT

Dustin: i- uh- *hangs up*

Rich's ghost: *pacing faster now* FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKNONOFUCKK- *sobs*

Later: hi it’s the next day now

Jake: *goes to school lol xd haha*

Rich's ghost: *flies next to jake*

Chloe: *walks up to jake* heyy.. I saw Jenna's account... you okay??

Jake: leave me alone *:( pushes past Chloe :((*

Chloe: jakee... please.... *runs back up to him* you have to get beyond this!! You'll find someone else!!

Jake: yeah? well what if I dont WANT to? huh? what about MY feelings? *>:(*

Chloe: ....ill- I'll just leave you alone... *:(*

Jake: good. *>:(((* *:(*

Later: lunch eeee

Rich's ghost: ....

Jake: *>:( hides in his h ood*

Dustin: *walks over to Jake and sits next to him* Jake I'm... im really sorry.... I didn't mean to..... please dont... don't kill yourself......

Jake: why would you care? leave me the hell alone *>:(*

Dustin: ... *walks off*

Rich's ghost: aH Ha! *posses someone*

Someone: AkkkEJNDOANOXHXOJoajsiKKEODJSOSJ *has a heart attack and dies*

Rich's ghost: uh- that didn't work- um- sorry someone

Someone's ghost: hUMPH *>:(* flies away

Jake: *cries :(*

Rich's ghost: *ghost hug*

Jake: im just going to stop living *:(* *walks to the bathroom*

Rich's ghost: no Jake please!! Jake l-listen!! pLEASE D-DONT! *starts sobbing a lot*

Jake: *ignores the ghost ;0* *gets the death thing*

Rich's ghost: jake....... *cries*

Jake: *inhale* I'm sorry- *deaths*

Rich's ghost: *keeps crying*

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Indie & Rio

Indie: are you done w him yet cos i have a question like Rio: Sorry Rio: Fire away Indie: serious how do i make it that good Indie: without meshing mckenna Rio: Honestly? You just find out with experience, what you do and don't like, then you have to ask for that Rio: then you ask them what they like and if they know you can do it Rio: most lads your age haven't got a clue but are easily pleased so Indie: 😒💔😒💔 Indie: not what I was hoping youd hit me w Indie: I dont have experience & he does Rio: Soz, if this was Cosmo I'd give you some weird ass tips involving household items but I ain't gonna do you like that Rio: You can get experience with yourself Indie: thats such a ma answer 😂 Rio: It's true tho babe 😂 Rio: Why, didn't you like it? Indie: i was shook i still am Rio: 'Course you were Rio: It's a big deal Indie: not too any other heads in these endz just this bitch here being cringe bout it Rio: Nah, people always lie about that shit Rio: whether it's under or over hyping Indie: we got both cos im amp and hes not bothered is that just how its destined or Rio: How you know that for sure? Indie: 👀 & 👂 Rio: There's so many answers that ain't that still though Rio: 'less I'm missing something Rio: he could be playing it cool 'cos he's as hyped, for example Rio: or just fucking hungover 'cos you know, ain't we all a bit Indie: nah cos last night isnt the only Rio: What you mean? Indie: since i gave him everything now he dont want it Indie: thats how it goes Indie: talking at new ones and bout his olds and how they be like im not there Rio: What a prick Rio: That's not on Indie: cos he dont wanna roll w no tourist which is how i am to this Rio: Nah, don't get it twisted, he don't wanna roll, period Rio: playing a numbers game like a typical teenage boy who's spent too much time alone in his room 🎮👌🍆 Rio: this isn't anything you did or didn't do, fuck that noise Indie: yeah cos i made the chase sick but then couldnt come through how he needed beyond that Indie: just school me and then Rio: Babe Rio: If he don't fuck with loyalty then he don't, that's on him not you Rio: doesn't mean you weren't good and even if you weren't, fuck getting better for a wasteman who ain't trying for you how you need it Indie: its what drew reckons too it aint just me chatting Indie: help me step my game up thats how you do Indie: he was with his previous for time i can make me stay for me too like Rio: What does he know, like Rio: I mean I can show you some things, yeah, but you gotta feel it and feel yourself, you know Indie: hes a lad & he knows the game, how they think & do idk he was on it with what he was saying i felt it Rio: You wanna get on a lad like your Dad Rio: they ain't all the same Indie: cos you landed mckenna & you outta that madness Indie: theyre the same for me Rio: I ain't saying a lot of 'em aren't shit, but like Rio: what about lads like your mates, they're all alright Rio: it ain't one extreme or the other Indie: to roll with if i was trying to link em theyd doing it exactly Indie: rudeboys my age want they want & get it how they do Rio: alright but idc 'bout them Rio: what do YOU want, Inds? Indie: I want him to feel for me how i do for him Indie: like he can do anything to me and wants to Rio: You reckon boys your age get it how they do Rio: so do like them Rio: how'd a fuckboy get your attention? Indie: it aint gonna go that way Indie: he scares me Indie: theres no power in it for me Rio: What scares you about it? Indie: im fallin all the time Indie: its deep and its heavy and its a total madness Rio: Oh baby Rio: If I had the answer to that shit, I'd be selling it for the 💸 and good of us all Indie: he makes me feel owned not like 💍 but 🤡 Indie: i cant do for him anything Indie: boys dont play me i play them 'cept now Rio: That is scary, no avoiding it Rio: Best you can do is front the bad bitch still, even when you ain't feeling it Indie: id let him put a baby in me when were olders and living that and he cant turn from edie for me Indie: what is that gonna be Indie: im just like my ma arent I Rio: Don't say it like a bad thing, your Ma was awesome Indie: nah Rio: She was though Indie: your ma can front it cos she got love for her Indie: if she was she'd be here Rio: nah, she don't get to be reduced to just how she died when her life was more than that Indie: she let him run her & i was never trying to be that but this is me younger and letting a boy play me Rio: You aren't that Rio: and I won't let that play out like that Indie: im over having my own back innit i wanted him to carry Rio: ain't a crime Rio: you got so many of us though, even if a boy does you dirty Rio: you ain't alone Indie: i feel it today Rio: I'm sorry Rio: Do you want to go somewhere with me Rio: I can get rid of Buster but I can't hang with Drew all day getting high, that's all Indie: idc bout mckenna but I want Drew to go Indie: theres a vibe Rio: We'll get rid of him Rio: or duck out home, he can sit here himself if he likes Indie: do you feel it or am i that faded on this 🚬 Rio: Nah, I do Rio: sure we didn't help, sorry again Indie: it's chill Indie: i would if i could Rio: gimme a sec to get decent and we'll bounce Indie: has he hated mckenna proper since the start or is it just since you two started riding each other? Rio: idk what else his reasoning would be tbh Rio: say what you like, he ain't that bad Indie: but he aint your hot half bro Indie: makes no sense Indie: you two can link up if you want Rio: you'd have to ask him, babe, but i wouldn't bother Rio: taking the moral highground on this one, i guess, idc Indie: is caleb home? he needs to cook for me cos mckenna is lax at providing Indie: that breakfast was dred Rio: i'll bell ahead and see if not we'll swing by the restaurant init Rio: did he try and make you eat something healthy? 😂 Indie: safe Indie: shouldve known not to trust a posh boy innit Indie: sneaky greens up in everything like Rio: gotta get those vitamins babe Rio: how cute Indie: youre so whipped for him i cant be listening to none of your words 😂 Rio: Shh 😜 Indie: tell yourself Indie: but nah cos its well too late Indie: 👀 & 👂 man Rio: Erm you keep them 👀 down, I know that door was closed Indie: you two are so amp for each other you aint always keepin it behind em Rio: I know, but it's hard 😩😂 Rio: Honestly, the fact only you and Drew know has me worried for this fam and their senses, like Indie: 😉😉 hes hard is how you mean Indie: standard Indie: might be a tourist still but i aint bait Rio: Don't be nasty 😏 Indie: tell him Indie: that boy so horny for you its a pure madness Rio: you been knew i'm peng gurl come on Indie: making me shook about myself Indie: its rude Rio: 💔 Rio: you ain't gotta be like me Indie: gurl please im not gonna seckle for less than Indie: youre goals Indie: 🔥🔥🔥 Rio: you're a babe Rio: need you about, only one Indie, like Rio: Mum enough for you? Indie: 😂 Indie: does that make mckenna my new daddy 😉 Rio: Watch it 😉 Indie: ✌ thats a yeah if i heard one ever Indie: ill get his take on my 🍒💔 Indie: but not over food like Rio: It's a gonna be a bit weird for us all if we both call him that but not trying to give you incentive biatch 😜 Rio: probably not in front of my actual da either, unless you want his input too Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: I aint trying to call nobody that Rio: Fair Rio: Can whack it out when you wanna throw subtle shade Indie: innit Indie: marko can dash me fore that word comes outta my mouth Rio: Deffo, you don't need to be on that hype Indie: he called me baby the other day boy please im grown Indie: stop playing Rio: 😂 Rio: See, boy got no clue Indie: him on that shelta and me on my 🍀 aint no wonder we got crossed wires bitch Rio: Sometimes it's better when you ain't know what they 🗣 Rio: Done that, or pretended I ain't fluent like 👋 Indie: innit tho Indie: me on your fams hype like im from there too sometimes Rio: Multilingual and ready to mingle 💃 Indie: bit late to switch that with him but Rio: You know, babe Rio: how you think I got stuck with him 🙄 nightmare, like Indie: fix my face? i gotta be fresh for all the 📷 imma lure this boy back w Indie: a bitch knows how to take a nude least Rio: 'Course Rio: but you best not be putting your face in no nudes Rio: you need denialabilty for so many reasons, main one being its technically CP Indie: no shit my face is for all the snaps to show what a sick time im having Indie: not missing him at all Indie: the nudes are for when he remembers hes missing me Rio: That's allowed then Rio: 👍 Rio: Proceed Indie: i gotta say if tho cos hes still giving me the most air ever Indie: 💔💔💔 Rio: You're gonna fake it so hard you'll actually get there, trust Indie: last nite was so bangin til she fucked it up for me Rio: I know, babe Indie: do you reckon he wouldve Indie: with her Rio: Nah Rio: I mean, idk the lad and he sounds like a bit of a twat but Rio: sure he ain't gonna do you like that Indie: shes got ways tho Rio: She just ain't afraid of anything Rio: it works in her favour sometimes, other times it don't Indie: im not scared of no thing either Rio: 'Course Rio: but you know Rio: Edie not in a good way Indie: yeah Indie: on the subject drew wont go Indie: aint about leaving him here around all our shit but not trying to stay Indie: reckons he needs to chat at you Rio: Right Rio: I'm coming 🙄 ffs man Indie: is mckenna coming home w us? Rio: Up to you, babe Indie: it aint vexing or hyping me either way Indie: if he wants to be schooled for what proper food is Rio: 😂 he's swearing down it was Nance's fault but idk Rio: either way, we got a date so I gotta kick Drew to the curb Indie: standard she does eat how a 🐰 do Indie: he aint done me dirty fore so daddy can have another shot at winning me Rio: I'll let him know, in roughly those words 😏 Indie: tell the boy he gotta get in my snaps 👌 Indie: make me 👑💖 Rio: Gurl, it's literally still a sore subject but we will brawl s2g 😂 Indie: jam mama Indie: not trying to co-ord these bruises Rio: 😘 Rio: Stay 'way from him fr then you get me 👀 Indie: he's just a peng piece of staging Indie: not trying to ride it Rio: s'all 💕 up in here Rio: will be when we've 👋 anyway Indie: i wanna get done again now im 🍒 popped but he can chill on it Indie: not my speed Indie: and I'm too 😍😍😍 Rio: You a fool Rio: but I love ya Indie: you've been chatting at the old man for long Indie: come through w you Indie: ✌✌ Rio: 🙄 no need to tell me, he's in a chatting mood Rio: aight Rio: coming

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