#they have 2 brain cells between the three of them

[lizardaggro]

on the flip side

part 2 is out! part 3! part 4!

whaddya know, i already have my first piece of writing that's not for an rp. it's a mess, but that's okay, because i admit i have no clue what i'm doing! i welcome all feedback as long as it's not just plain mean. when i asked for writing ideas, i was suggested to try my spin on the twst bully!au, and so i present: reader/yuu is done with their bs. no beta we die like my sleep schedule. genre: gn reader, angst trigger warnings: bullying, slight yandere that hasn't escalated yet word count:896

You’d had enough, thank you very much. The constant jeers, “misplaced” textbooks, and shoves in the hallway were only the beginning. Before long, you were beaten and bruised, and all for what? Just because you didn’t have magic? According to your research, the majority of the population here didn’t either! But alas, such was your plight. The professors turned a blind eye, and Crowley couldn’t care less.

So, when someone “accidentally” dislocated your shoulder during PE, you decided enough was enough. The students you’d never bothered to learn the names of were one thing; you were going to call your former friends out on their bullshit. Despite Grim’s protests, you dragged him all the way back to Ramshackle the moment you had a break in between classes. Why that timing? Because the model student prefect would never cut class, of course!

You locked the door not once, not twice, but three times, thanks to the padlocks you’d had placed on your stuff in the past. Then you took your time creating the Junk Tower. Your materials were all the scraps people had thrown in your yard in the past. You had quite the collection. The windows? They’d been boarded for years, according to the ghosts. Back door? Kalim had it removed. Something about first years sneaking in. You figure it’s better not to ask how he managed to have a door seamlessly replaced with walls in one afternoon.

About twenty minutes after the last class of the day ended, you had your first knock on the door. “Oi, prefect, open up!” Ace demanded. Because of course it was Ace. He was the first student you met here, so it was only fitting that he’d be the first to know you weren’t fucking around anymore. You ignored him.

The knocking stopped “Oi Ace, maybe they’re not home?” Deuce, ever the voice of reason, pondered. You weren’t sure whether to love or hate him. He’d stop others from picking on you, sure, but the moment you disobeyed him, he went back to his old delinquent ways.

“Well, they weren’t in class, and there’s no way my prefect’s with someone else, so they’ve gotta be inside!” Ace insisted. His prefect? Since when were you his? Did Ace eat something funny while you were gone? Because the last you checked, he couldn’t stand the sight of you.

Deuce’s voice dropped an octave, or maybe two. You weren’t too sure how that applied to speaking voices. “Oi, Ace, what the fuck do you mean your prefect? They don’t belong to you!” Yes, thank you for the reality check. Deuce must’ve had the brain cell today. “Obviously I’m way closer to them than you are!”

Scratch that. Deuce did not have the brain cell today. Really though, what was with them? Why in the world were they fighting over who was closer to you when all they’d done lately was make it clear how much they hated you? Oh, wait. They thought you could hear them. This must be some sort of trick. Trey and Cater must’ve put them up to it, since they were far too dumb to think of anything this elaborate on their own. You decided to ignore everything they said from here on out.

All was well, until Adeuce simultaneously let out an ungodly screech. Now that was troublesome. What could possibly scare those two like that? Surely nothing good for you. With luck, it’d be Riddle come to behead them for not wearing fluorescent pink or some other dumb rule, but you wouldn’t bet on it.

You soon had your answer. “Ne, where’s Shrimpy? I wanna squeeze ‘em!” Suddenly you didn’t blame those two for being scared. Floyd Leech in a bad mood was always a force to be reckoned with. You could never tell if he was in a good or bad mood when he was “squeezing” you, and quite frankly, you’d rather not know. The sick fucker probably took pleasure in hearing your bones pop and crack under the extreme pressure.

“Floyd-senpai! The prefect is, uh, we’re not actually sure where they are,” Ace volunteered. You almost pitied him, having to put up with the more rambunctious Leech during basketball practice. Almost.

“Hah? What do you mean you don’t know? Crabby is always crowding around Shrimpy like a little parasite,” Floyd whined. Um, what? Is Floyd in on the joke too? Is the whole school conspiring against you? You wouldn’t put it past them.

A cloud of dust blew up from the floor where you swung your foot back and forth, making you sneeze. You froze. Did they hear that? Wait, what were you acting so scared for? What were they gonna do anyway, break the door down and hit you? All within your expectations when you’d formed this plan. The point was to prove that you wouldn’t just sit and take it anymore. You’d seen all their dirty little secrets, especially during the Overblots; you could hit them where it hurt if you felt like it. No one would ever think the perfect little prefect would tell someone else what they’d confided in them! So when Floyd broke the door down with a display of monstrous strength, you were prepared. You greeted them with a smile. “Ne, you guys,” you began, “would you believe me if I told you I’m done with your bullshit?”

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst bully au #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #floyd leech #ace trappola #deuce spade

[anthurak]

So I actually really like the dynamic that Hazbin seems to be setting being the three ‘V’s’ as a villain group, specifically in contrast to what most people may have been expecting. Like I think a lot of us were imagining Valentino being clearly ‘in charge’ with Vox being a subtly or not-so-subtly submissive/brow-beaten ‘Number 2’ with Velvette perhaps being a more subtle ‘hidden hand’ manipulating things.

But instead, from what we see in episode two it seems like all three of them are on more or less equal standing with one another. Which feels particularly interesting with Val and Vox, who come off as more or less two of a kind. At first it seems like Vox is the one more settled and in control while Val is flakey and throwing a fit over ‘loosing’ Angel Dust. But then of course we see Vox flip out just as hard when he learns that Alastor is back. Really, it seems like the only real difference between these two is in the direction of their respective obsessions: Val is effectively punching ‘down’, obsessed with trying to keep someone, Angel Dust, under his thumb, while Vox is punching up trying to best someone, Alastor, who has repeatedly proven to be his better.

Then we have Velvette who seems to have the primary distinction of simply NOT having some big obsessive fixation on someone like her two cohorts do.

And I think this is really interesting because with all three of these bad guys on more or less even and equal terms, it’s kind of up in the air where the dynamics between them will go.

Like how Valentino and Vox seem EQUALLY likely to wind up backstabbing the other. Alternatively, given how Velvette seems to have the winning combination of both possessing all the actual brain-cells of this trio and not having an obsessive rival-fixation, perhaps she ends up backstabbing both of the other V’s after getting sick of Val’s and Vox’s raging hate-boners for Angel Dust, Alastor and the Hazbin Hotel as a whole. Perhaps by directly cutting a deal with Charlie or maybe goading the two into picking an outright fight that leads to them incurring the wrath of our resident Devil Princess.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin spoilers #hazbin hotel spoilers #earlyaccesshh #hazbin vox #hazbin valentino #hazbin velvette

[mcyt-trios]

PROPAGANDA:

Schlatt & Co.:

literally two guys running a business and their intern (aka Son). the worst father figures ever and a little guy. cryptocurrency scammers. they've been my lockscreen wallpaper for like a year

Capitalist family that's pathetic

they are the ultimates Guys with their Son. the Original Schlatt and Co. people always forget ty. he was crucial and i’m tired of people forgetting him. he is their son who tries his best but of course is a rebellious teen yknow. he don’t care (he does). and schlonnor are gay lol

They're so so silly and so so stupid. 2 gay business men and their weird kid/unpaid intern

iamty is a child of marriage fraud (fraud conducted by antvenom)

Please

Buttercups:

HAVE YOU SEEN THEM??? THEY'RE JUST XUTFGUIUGDYYDYRDTESARYTDUFIYGOBJOJ I- THERE IS NO WORDS. They are stupid together. There is 3 brain cells between the three of them apart (one shared between the three of them, two that are attached to Grian and mumbo) BUT TOGETHER THEY HAVE 0.5 BRAIN CELLS!!

These three give me so much serotonin. When Mubo came back to the server, they did a little reunion thing that was just so cute. Also F*cking with Doc is just hilarious. Only Scar and Grian broke the tunnel bore, but they still roped in Mumbo somehow🤣🤣🤣

they say “what’s up buttercup” to each other!!! they covered docs perimeter!!! they have special skins!!! they’re peace love and plants!!!

#mcyt-trios #mcytblr trio bracket #polls #round 3 #mcyt

[benedictscanvas]

bluebells - remus lupin x reader

pairing: remus lupin x fem!reader

word count: 0.8k

a/n: i just keep thinking of teeny tiny remus concepts and i have to write them every time. thought it would be fun to do another in the recent universe (1, 2 & 3) from sirius' perspective. this is quite unedited, but i'll have a check on it tomorrow. enjoy sunflowers <3

---

“Do you have a secret admirer you haven’t told us about?” Sirius asks, as innocently as he can.

The question has Remus sitting up a little straighter on the stool in your kitchen, just as he intended. Remus may never have spoken to him about his feelings for you, by some miracle, but they were plain as day to anyone with a brain cell between their ears. Sirius was fairly sure you were equally enamoured - but you were harder to read than his precious Moony.

“What are you on about now?” you laughed, able to shrug off the question easily. Sirius sidled up to the tiny vase of flowers that sat on the granite countertop, filled with imperfect bluebells that didn’t look shop-bought.

“Only the very pretty bouquet in your kitchen that someone has clearly picked for you,” he practically purrs, “And don’t try to convince me you picked them yourself, doll, because I know for a fact you haven’t been walking in the woods.”

That only makes you laugh harder, and Sirius knows he’s got you. He’s hoping you’re about to praise whoever picked you those flowers and Remus will get sufficiently jealous to snog you senseless or something. Sirius hasn’t figured out his full match-making plan yet, admittedly.

“Obviously, I didn’t pick them,” you agree, glancing with obvious shyness towards Remus, who already has telltale pink cheeks, “Remus is the one doing all the woodland walking in this group. He is sometimes kind enough to fill my teeny tiny vase for me.”

And Sirius just gapes at you. Then at Remus. He can’t help it, because whatever he was trying to achieve, it is utter madness that Remus himself could be the one to pick you flowers and still neither of you could move past a more than friendly friendship. 

Remus is glaring at him now, because he’s clearly been gaping so long that he’s made the whole atmosphere awkward. You turn your attention back to making cups of tea, but Sirius sees the way you fluster. He’s made it weird. He was trying to make it a bit weird, yes, but not like this.

“Sorry, I had to take a second there,” he said, through a half chuckle, “Just struggling with the idea that Moony is bringing you flowers and he’s never once thought to bring some for me?”

Sirius is just charming enough to get away with it. Remus softens, his glare now holding far less scorn and you throw him a smile over your shoulder as you get the milk out of the fridge.

“He likes me better,” you argue playfully, sticking your tongue out at him. Just like that, all awkwardness is gone and replaced by the almost flirting thing the two of you do that drives Sirius mad - he wants to tell you both to give your heads a wobble.

“I can give you the leftovers if you like, Pads,” Remus chimes in, “But I’m afraid the finest flowers are already reserved.”

And Sirius watches Remus smile at you like you’re the sun and moon and all the stars combined, and it melts his heart a little. Who is he to rush you? You grin back at Remus like there’s a secret to be shared.

But of course, Sirius must keep up the facade and so he grunts in annoyance.

“I see how it is. Fifty years of friendship and look where it gets me,” he grumbles, “Pretty sure picking flowers is objectively wrong, too.”

“Drama queen,” you say through a cough, then adopt an instant wide-eyed innocent look when Sirius rounds his glare on you.

“Fifty years? We’re in our twenties Sirius.”

“Friendship like ours defies the laws of nature, honey,” Sirius smirks, and Remus’ nose wrinkles.

“And if you pick flowers in moderation, it can actually benefit their conservation,” you say, placing the three cups of tea on the table and waving Remus over from the island stool to sit with you and Sirius, “So drink your tea and stop whinging, Sirius.”

He gasps in mock offence and then pretends to burn his tongue on the tea, just to see you and Remus roll your eyes at him together. When Remus sits down, he thanks you for the tea under his breath and you smile your brightest at him, squeezing his elbow as you hurry away to get the biscuit tin.

Sirius takes another look at Remus’ lovestruck face even though all you did was touch his elbow. He’s not sure whether it’s cute or slightly sickening, but he glances at the pretty shitty bluebell bouquet on the table again and decides that if the two of you are happy as you are, he won’t try to interfere again.

(it lasts all of thirty seconds, because the two of you gang up on him about biscuit choice as soon as you sit down with the tin, and Sirius immediately decides it’ll be worth it to fluster the two of you, if only for his own amusement)

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin fluff #remus x reader #remus lupin fanfiction #marauders x reader

[chrissturnsgirlll222]

second, never first

part eleven | part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten |

PLEASE READ WARNINGS

chris x fem!reader

summary - you grew up hating one guy all of high school but suddenly become friends, but as time goes on feelings develop, only its one sided.

warnings - swearing, kissing, use of y/n, mention of family issues, mention of domestic violence (NOT BETWEEN THE MAIN COUPLE), BOYS (no smut… for now lol)

word count - 2k+

a/n: this part of the story contains a scene involving domestic violence so please dont read if that is a topic that triggers you! also this part is taking place 2 weeks since the last. also i made it a little lengthy for you all <333

NOT PROOFREAD

-

i was fast asleep when i heard a crash from downstairs over the show i have playing to fall asleep. instantly getting up i slipped on a robe and slowly walked to my steps.

growing up in the house hold i did meant i had to be in constant fight or flight. i stood at the top of my steps with my phone in hand. looking down at it, the time reading 12:34.

“you need to learn to keep your fucking mouth shut, i am threatening you and your daughter. ever try to leave me and i will have both pf your heads.” i heard my dad yell from downstairs, my mom sobbing. common occurrence from my house hold.

“mom” i say my voice cracking up as i walk down stairs. “y/n go the fuck upstairs now.” my dad screams standing over my mom as shes sitting on the floor with both hands on her cheek as if she was just punched and her throat red. i knew my parents argued all the time but i never saw them get violent.

“i will do it.” holding my phone up i type in 911.

“sweetie you know i would never be violent, your mom just needs to be talked to like a baby since she has double left brain cells.” he switches up his tone.

“now i wont repeat myself, go to your fucking room.” he growls.

tears pool in to my eyes as i turn around.

my vision gets clouded with tears as i make my way to my room. immediately breaking down once i get to my room. feeling scared in your own house is one thing but feeling unsafe is another. i cant trust either of my parents to keep me safe anymore.

turn on my phone i call the one person who i can trust with my life, chris.

ring ri-

“hey kid whats up.” he answers. i dont say anything as i am hyperventilating, crying and shakily breathing trying to calm myself down. “y/n?” i hear him say, “chris” is all i can reply and i am sobbing on the other line of the phone. “where are you?” chris asks in a concerned tone, “i- im home.”.

“whats wrong why are you calling?” he questions. “i cant- i cant be here.”.

“im on my way kid, give me a second here ok?”

“mhm” i reply.

he hangs up and i slowly take deep breaths. im not one to cry often but after school the other day ive been crying for 2 weeks straight it feels like. i dont know if chris would mind but i start frantically packing a bag with clothes and things i need for tomorrow morning. i cant be here in this house with them.

i knew in the back of my mind i shouldn’t leave my mom alone but i just couldn’t bear to hear any more crashes or slams now that i know things have gotten physical.

i sit on the floor in front of my door still sobbing as i just started and me and chris’ texts waiting for-

wednesday 12:57am

chris: here

waiting for that.

i open my window not caring to be quiet as i slip through it. sliding it shut and carefully climbing down the stairs of the treehouse my father built for me when i was a baby. probably the only thing ill ever be grateful for from him.

i wipe my eye and nose trying to compose myself while walking up to chris’ truck. opening the back door first and throwing my bag in to the back seat and then making my way to the passenger side. climbing up to the seat and buckling myself in. a few tears still streaming from my face.

“y/n what happened.” chris asks in a quiet tone. the question making everything flood back in to my head and i breakdown again. i bring my hands up to my face and cry into my hands. “it cant be that bad kid whats wrong.” he says with concern. “its worse.” i reply. “can we p- please go to your house. i- i cant be hear any longer.” i ask through choked sobs. “of course.” he puts the truck in drive.

the drive is quiet, the sound of my crying and heavy breathing being the only sound coming through the vehicle.

we get to his house and he immediately gets out and goes to grab my bag from the bag and then opening my door. i sniffle and smile at him thankfully.

once i enter his house its fully of joy. warm lighting and happiness filling the walls. i stand in the door way shivering as im in a big shirt and sleep shorts with sneakers on in the middle of winter. chris comes in after me with my bag over his shoulder and closing the door behind him and locking it. “cold?” he smiles and i nod rubbing my arms.

i look around his house for a minute, “cmon” he nods towards the stairs and we start walking up them to his room. we get to his room door. he walks over to his bed turning on the white led strip lights he has and walks back to the door. “hey go sit down kid ill be right back.” i nod in response and walk over to his bed. “hey y/n is gonna sleep here tonight.” i hear chris say, his voice is muffled slightly and i hear matt and nick ask “why?”.

“i dont know she just called me crying and she wont speak, i think something happened at her house.” he replies and walks back in.

going to his closet he grabs a hoodie and tosses it to me, “thank you.” i sniffle and smile putting the hoodie on immediately feeling warmer. he walks over to his bed crounching down in front of me.

“talk to me kid, what happened?” he asks softly, “was it your parents?” he adds. i close my eyes as streams of tears flow from them. my not answering was an answer for chris. he bows his head down shaking it and letting out a breath. “how bad was it?” he looks up at me.

“bad enough for my mom to be crying on the floor with a bloody nose and a bruised neck.” i reply and wipe nose. chris’ face fills with concern as i cry into my hands.

he takes my hands and removes them from my face starring at me with my runny nose and red eyes. i move to stand up and he does the same, “chris im sorry i shouldnt even be telling you th-“ i am paused with his arms coming around my head in to a hug. i melt into his touch burying my face into his chest and hooking my arms under his. i hold on to him for dear life and sob.

“im sorry.” i keep repeating as he hugs me. “stop it. none of what happened is your fault ok? your dad is a piece of shit stop apologizing.” he comforts as he gently rubs my back. the world goes quiet as i hold on to him, everything seemed to do that when i was with chris. i pull away still holding on to his arm “chris you have no idea how grateful i am for you.” i smile fiddling with his fingers. he smiles and kisses me, “shit sorry. bad timing, im awful.” he blurts as he immediately pulls away putting his hand up to his forehead. i wipe my nose again, “its ok. never apologize for that.”

our friendship as of now felt different. we are best friends that are fake dating but occasionally kiss when no ones around. i want to ask him what this means but im afraid it will ruin what we have. so i stay quiet as he leans into me again. i go on my tip toes and grab either side of his face into a long sweet kiss. pulling apart we both sit down on his bed and get under the sheets inches apart.

both of us laying face up but chris is on his phone.

thinking about my night i wonder what i would do without chris. having him as my best friend was the biggest blessing i could have asked for. even though i was enduring the roughest two weeks of my life chris always managed to to make my rocky world a still calm path.

as i think about him i instinctually move closer to him wrapping both of my arms around him. “whats this for?” he asks looking down and me and raising him arm for me to come in, as i can hear him smiling in his voice.

“i just am in l-, i just love you so much you are the only thing that helps me constantly.” i correct myself. he chuckles and shuts his phone off grabbing his tv remote. turning on a show on a low volume and shutting off his leds.

with his free hand he slips it under his hoodie thats on me and lightly starts scratching my back. i hum at the feeling closing my eyes. “that feel good?” he says in a quiet voice. “mhm” reply lightly nodding my head thats buried in his shoulder now. the low hum of of the show playing, my comfortable position cuddling with chris, plus my exhaustion and his hand scratching me made my tired eyes even more intense.

i fall asleep happier than i was an hour ago and its all thanks to chris.

chris pov

the feeling of her breathing against my side is more calming than anything i could describe. her fragile body is fast asleep on me with her leg over mine and her arms around my neck as i continue to lightly draw shapes on her back.

i cant believe what she endured tonight let alone it being a normal occurrence for her parents to argue. she told me about them fighting before and she always said it got intense but i have never seen her this emotional. i feel happy knowing that she can trust me in such a vulnerable state.

she hums in her sleep nuzzing her head impossibly closer to me and i just admire her as she does so. i just wish our current situation could be more than it is but bringing that up would change everything and commitment to another person is like holding a new born. you have someones full trust and life in your hands never knowing if their going to fall out.

ill take what i can get as we are closer than we have ever been tonight. watching her sleep is the most beautiful thing ive ever come across.

her dark hair lays out on her back as i can smell her vanilla scented shampoo that she told me was way to expensive for what she would normally pay. my hoodie that fit her in the most adorable oversized way. her sleep shorts that are peeking out from the covers that slightly show her skin. and her cold finger tips against my neck, the feeling of them almost lulling me to sleep.

i continue to scratch her back even though she is already asleep and kiss the top of her head which i wouldn’t have the courage to do if she was awake.

“im so in love with you kid, i just have fear of making that real. it would ruin everything. i just wish you were awake for me to tell you, but it would be selfish to take you as mine you have so much love to give.” i mumble whispered against her head just seconds before i fell asleep

-

thanks for reading xx

taglist: @sleepysturnss @blahbel668 @alorsxsturn @w4nnabeurs @junnniiieee07 @waydasims @matthewloverr @bitchydragonparadise @matthewsturnioloswifey @iloveneilperry @stunza @realuvrrr @jennss23 @tubl-mc @lilsstvrn

a/n: pls send thoughts in the comments. also i know this is a heavy topic to cover so my dms are open if anyone needs to talk. love you all🩷🩷

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo edit #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x y/n #christopher owen sturniolo #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo angst #matthew bernard sturniolo #matty b sturniolo #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #chris sturniolo angst #nick sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo fanfic #spotify #sports #smut #sturniolo fluff

[plzignr]

Humans are Weird- Free Diving

When I was a kid, was taught the rule of 3, which is meant to be a general survivalist guide rule of thumb for necessities in extreme circumstances. If you haven't heard it the rule of three is as follows:

3 weeks without food

3 days without water

3 minutes without oxygen

The point being that without these things at this frequency that's probably about when you'd die without them, so prioritize them in the reverse order.

And this is fairly consistent with most medical information I could find, these guidelines are a little under the 'official' times. Without oxygen is four to six minutes before brain damage, which that's fair to be conservative for potentially life saving information.

Then, I learned about free diving.

You know how we have a Frenchman who invented a self contained underwater breathing apparatus (SCUBA) because he wanted to keep looking at the fish down in the ocean. Yeah so free diving is that... without SCUBA gear.

Free divers just hold their breath, and dive, down to 20 to 40 feet under water, which by the way means that they are under two atmospheres of pressure (2 atm is 33 feet for those keeping score) and then hang out and surface. Like it didn't take a Frenchman obsessed with fish to come up with a pressurized air tank apparatus for normal people to do it.

The normal average human can hold their breath between 30 to 90 seconds.

That's normal, and then most people after three to four minutes will have passed out and start to have their brain cells begin being damaged from lack of oxygen.

Do you know how long average free divers can hold their breath? Upwards of 10 minutes. That is a TEN TIMES longer breath hold than the 'average' human, with NO adverse effects!

The record breath hold is almost 25 minutes. 25 MINUTES.

That discrepancy is entirely unreasonable!

That's like saying, oh yeah, the average human can move 100 pounds (~45 Kg) with serious effort, which is like the size of a large dog, but some of them can lift 1000 pounds, which is like a fully grown moose. Keeping with this analogy for the record breath hold if it was a weight  would be the equivalent of someone saying they could lift an Elephant!

Then, and then, I looked further into it because surely these people have to have some kind of genetic quirk that allows them to be able to hold their breath PAST the, 'yeah you're probably dead zone' three times over.

But no... not really. There are some exceptions of people that have larger or more effecient spleens that let them stay down closer to twenty to twenty five minutes, but mostly, it's just getting the body used to having high C02 and low 02 levels over an extended period of time. The average person can probably reach about 5 minute breath holds within a month of training, and have no adverse effects from this. Remember that the 'average human' could only hold their breath for 30 to 90 seconds. Remember that rule of three? Remember that four minutes was 'hey the human might get brain damage' you know their most important and vital organ that their evolution invested so heavily in that it literally changed the way they breath as a species? Yeah. We're just going to break that right down by just choosing to not listen to it. And within a month, BAM literally defying death, because some people just felt like it and figured out how to do it with training instead of equipment.

Because people wanted to go into a place that is VERY MUCH NOT MEANT FOR AIR BREATHING HUMANS to either look at stuff in the NOT FOR HUMANS zone, or to eat said stuff in the again HUMANS LITERALLY SHOULDN’T BE ABLE TO BE ALIVE HERE FOR MORE THAN A COUPLE OF MINUTES ZONE.

Humans are insane, and utterly terrifying.

#humans are weird #humans are space orcs #humans are terrifying

[a-world-with0ut-dr34ms]

A Table of Contents to all my CoD Men x Reader Fics

My shit was getting disorganized as fuck, so I collected everything I've typed on here and put it into a single post, just to make it easier to find my stuff if you ever choose to. User Accessibility matters!

Note - All of this is 18+ and Mature, but not all of it is Smut

SFW/Fluff // Masterlist

The masterlist to all of the SFW/Fluff One-Shots for Ghost x Reader.

No Good Men Left To Spare // Masterlist

No pair of people hated each other more than you and Ghost. To him, you were just another loud-mouthed, obnoxious, and immature little princess needing to be humbled. To you, he was just a boring, broody asshole hellbent on not liking you. Things between you two couldn't be any worse. After pushing one too many of his buttons tonight, you and Ghost going off to have a quick smoke turns into something else entirely.

Make Me Beg

Ghost had been curious to see if you could be the one to make him beg for a change, in which to both his pleasure and dismay, you oblige.

Greedy

Ghost x Dom!Reader x Soap

Ghost and Soap find themselves crushing on the same woman on their team, a friendly bout between two comrades to see who you'll choose, only your answer's not one they'd expected to hear.

The Lights Stay Off

No Summary :(

NSFW, 18+, Shameless Smut, No Plot, Porn w/out Plot, Sex in the dark, Explicit, Graphic Language, Teasing, Touch-Starved Touching, Embarrassing, First Time Together, Fingering, Sloppy Kisses, Somewhat Rough Sex, slightly Intimate, Ghost is a bit of a dom, Reader's a bit snarky

Ghost Fan Edit

My thirst for this man is endless. I've been thirsty since I was 11 and first laid eyes on him in 2009. He just gets finer each year. I don't think I'd have my mask kink without him.

Now you get to see how rhythmically challenged I am. These are fun to make; once I get better at them I'll be unstoppable (｀∀´)Ψ

I Won't Forget

Short Drabble ~ Your last night with Johnny...

Can You Spot Me?

You decide to reward Soap after finishing a set on the bench press.

NSFW 18+, Explicit, Shameless Smut, Porn w/out Plot, Semi-Public Sex, Gym Sex, Teasing, Fluff, Flirting, Cunnilingus, Blow-Jobs, Cowgirl, P in V, Might be a little tame, but still Graphic Description, no Y/N usage

Greedy (same story as above one in Ghost's section)

Speedracer

Gaz x Reader x Soap

It's not every day Gaz gets to drive fast cars. It's also not every day he gets to race hot strangers on the road either.

SFW, Some swearing, Fluff, Flirting, Banter, Racing, Three-Way flirting, Random, Innocent, Some Car Lingo, Soap and Gaz sharing a single brain cell, Eventual smut in part two, scarcely proofread

Been In Love

After a breakup, Price figures a walk along the beach might make for a good distraction. What he did not expect to find was a strange woman standing off to the shore, who looked as though she were about ready to drown herself at sea.

pt. 0 | pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

Bloodstained Honesty

Wounded, bloody, and just the two of you. A mission gone wrong leads to a long overdue moment between both you and your Captain, perhaps too late to count for anything. Not if either of you two can help it at least.

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

Sex Tape ~ Kinktober Prompt

No summary (._. )

NSFW (18+), Shameless Smut, Explicit Detail, Groping, Fingering, Nipple-Play, Oral (Female Receiving), AFAB!Reader Long-Distance, Sex Tape, Scarcely Proofread, Kinktober

Some Days

Drabble ~ Price has a tendency to wake up most mornings before you...

SFW, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Innocent, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Mornings, Wife Reader, Soft Price, Price is a little mopey, scarcely proofread

Let Me Play You A Song

During a get-together, you and the Captain decide to sneak off for a spell. The intentions were mostly pure. At the start...

Captain Price Fan Edit

My first time making a video like this EVER (ʃᵕ̩̩ ᵕ̩̩). It came out more like a trailer than an edit, but I had so much fun making this. I really hope you like it! *totally not nervous* (　◜◡‾)

Captain Price Fan Edit 2

Control Masterlist

Slow Burn, Love Triangle, Angst, Romance, Drama

You’ve been with Shadow Company long enough to know working alongside 141 on their search for the stolen American missiles wouldn’t be an ordinary assignment. And most importantly, you knew Graves. Shadow Company keeps its allies close, and its enemies closer. When you’re given a job, it gets done without conflict. Without loose ends.

Your true mission is clear to you -- keep an eye on 141 and keep them comfortable. Anything it takes to alleviate suspicion of Shadow Company’s involvement with the missing missiles. This wasn’t about saving lives, this was a deadly game of control, and you intend to do so flawlessly.

Phillip Graves Character Trailer

Deepthroating ~ Kinktober Prompt

Drabble - You decide to pay your commander a little visit during one of his later nights in the office...

Welp, that's that. Thanks ( .-.)

...

Here are links to some of my gaming clips if interested (shameless plug)

One | Two | Three | Four | Five

#masterlist #control #call of duty #modern warfare ii #mwii #call of duty modern warfare ii #mw2022 #ghost x reader #ghost simon riley #simon ghost riley #call of duty modern warfare 2 #john price x reader #captain john price #john price #john soap mctavish x reader #john soap mactavish #soap mw2 #soap mwii #soap x reader #captain price x reader #captain price #phillip graves x reader #phillip graves #graves x reader #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick x reader #kyle garrick #gaz mw2 #gaz x reader #gaz cod

[pianokantzart]

The One To Blame (Part 2)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 A followup to my The One To Blame one shot. I took a poll asking if I should keep things lighthearted, but "hurt that plumber harder" won, so....

Content Warning: Blood, torture, vomiting, graphic descriptions of violence.

Needless to say things get a little rough, so I totally get anyone that wants to dip out or hold off until part three (i.e, the comfort part of this hurt/comfort fic.)

____________________

Luigi knew that he had put a fire flower in his pocket some time ago. Chances were it got smashed at some point between then and now, so he was unsure if it would still work. Even if it did, there was little good it could do against a monster who breathed flames that easily outmatched the heat of any powerup. But it was all he had. A useless powerup was better than no powerup at all, if only he could move his arms and reach for it.

Bowser's grip remained firm as he tromped through the halls of his castle, the troops that Luigi had so skillfully evaded just earlier clearing the way. Some who saw the man dangling helplessly in Bowser’s fist took on a look of sadistic smugness. Others didn’t care at all, wanting nothing more than stay out of the way of their king as he rushed past them, up a flight of steps, and into uppermost room of a fortified tower, where he shut the door behind him.

The dark cell was empty save for some old broken chains attached to the wall, suggesting that the cramped quarters had once served as a prison of sorts before being abandoned altogether. Bowser lit overhanging lamps with a puff of flames, filling the claustrophobic space with a dull orange light. “Beg.” The demand was spoken between clenched teeth uncomfortably close to Luigi’s face, acrid breath burning against his cheek like hot steam. “Come on, I know you can do it. I’ve heard it before.” Bowser shifted Luigi in his fist, curling the tips of his claws into his chest, stomach, and thigh. “Beg.” The sensation of talons slowly digging caused Luigi’s breath to hitch. “Don’t! don’t– it hurts! Stop! Please!!”

The mounting pressure didn’t cease. He felt his clothing tear and skin gave way soon after. He screamed, straining to remember the conversation he had overheard earlier, sputtering to find something that would soothe Bowser’s wounded ego. “You’re right! You’re right! You’re right! I should've never touched that warp pipe! I shouldn’t have come to this world! It was a mistake!” The claws stopped digging. The hold loosened slightly, his claws freeing themselves from the shallow puncture wounds they had created. Luigi felt what he knew to be blood soaking into his torn clothes, splotches of red spreading across his collared shirt and denim overalls. “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that when we first met.” He added with a sob, “I-... I’m sorry… your… majesty?” The respectful title felt sour on his tongue, his stomach twisting with shame even as the suffocating grip continued to soften, and Bowser’s look of rage became a self-satisfied smile. “That’s better.” Luigi took the opportunity to once again try to reach for the fire flower in his pocket, but Bowser– feeling him struggling– once more tightened his grip while his free hand reached over to squish the man’s face between his thumb and forefinger.

“You know… Princess Peach was so eager to ruin our wedding trying to save you…”

“Not just me! She was trying to save the Kongs too!” Luigi tried to argue, though with his cheeks painfully pressed in the koopa’s grip it came out as “Nuff jush meh! shewesh tine ta sefta konds tuh!” Bowser paid little attention, and continued… “... I wonder if that would be the proper wedding gift? I’ll let her keep you, just so long as she follows through with her marriage vows.”

When Luigi’s face was finally released he racked his mind for the next thing to say. The right thing to say. Suddenly, his mouth moved before his brain could form a plan, and all at once he found himself speaking from the heart. “Why can’t you just leave her alone?!”

The volume was soft, but the tone was sharp. Bowser responded with equal impulsivity, rearing back and flinging his captive into the wall. “Why!? I’m King of The Koopas! And what are you!?” Luigi had just enough time to adjust his body so that his back took the brunt of the impact instead of his skull, saving him from being immediately knocked out. Rolling to the ground, he heard the tyrant continue...

“You… the stupid underling of an undersized nobody! You’re going to wish I never stooped so low as to ask for your name!” Luigi braced his body up on an arm and dug his hand into his pocket. The fire flower was still there, slightly smashed but radiating warmth. As soon as he grabbed it he felt its energy coursing through him, offsetting the pain of his injuries enough to let him climb to his feet.

Bowser, seeing the powerup activate, charged his captive like a bull, horns positioned to run him through. Luigi met the attack with a flash of bright green flame intended to do nothing more than disorient, and in that he was successful. Bowser was lost for a second of blindness, barreling into the wall as Luigi dove out of the way. Evading the flying debris he scampered toward the door they’d come through. It was heavy, but it had been blessedly left unlocked, and as soon as he wrenched it open he slipped through and ran as fast as his legs could carry him. _____

The sound of stone shattering reverberated through the castle. Peach heard the rumble. Her heart stilled, and her grip on the bars of her cage tightened. “Kamek!” she called, turning her desperation toward the magikoopa guarding her. “Please, you have to stop him!” “With all due respect Princess, until you become the queen of The Dark Lands I don’t take orders from anyone except His Highness.” “I just want Luigi safe! I’ll agree to anything if you’ll only–!” “Even if I believed you… which I don’t…” Kamek interrupted, placing hand on his cheek, recalling the punch that knocked him unconscious the last time Peach agreed to wed, “... once he gets this angry, there is nothing even I can do to stop him.”

Peach opened her mouth to respond, when a flash of red appeared in the corner of her eye. She and Kamek turned in unison to see Mario appear in the entrance of the throneroom, charging toward them at top speed with a look of unshakable determination on his face. He was not nearly quick enough. Kamek, with ample time to draw his wand, cast his spell, and before his would-be attacker was even halfway across the room he was encased in a field of blue magic. “Hee hee hee! Cocky, aren’t we?” Kamek cackled. The captured plumber replied with nothing but a frustrated grunt, gritting his teeth as he was lifted in the air. “No!” Peach shouted. She threw herself against the bars in frantic desperation, but they did nothing but clang noisily under her efforts. Kamek barely even spared her a glance, his attention fixed firmly on his prize. “That’s two plumbers I’ve caught in one night! Although… I believe Lord Bowser’s orders regarding you were to ‘kill on sight.’” With that, he intensified the spell with a twirl of his wand, certain that the sordid affair would be over in seconds. But then, Mario’s body– or what he thought to be Mario’s body– crumbled in a very unusual way. There was no blood or breakage, but instead the little man fell apart like a dry sand castle, disappearing into the air as a fine powder. Kamek stood for a moment in stunned silence. Wand still outstretched he stared at the empty air in utter befuddlement, noticing all too late when Mario appeared once more, emerging from his hiding place behind Bowser’s throne. Armed with a hammer, he leapt down the steps leading up to the throne with a single bound, and swung. The magikoopa was downed with a single blow that sent him flying across the room, slamming into the base of one of his king's many statues. There he lay slumped and still, his cracked glasses sitting crooked on his face.

Princess Peach beamed with joy and relief. “Mario!” "Princess!" Mario rushed to her side. Before she could ask anything else he hurriedly confirmed her suspicions as he pulled a ring of keys from his back pocket. “I had a spare double cherry. Toad is busy getting us an escape vehicle, so I provided my own backup. Now hold on, I’ll get you out of here...” “No! Mario, wait!” She reached through the bars, took the plumber by the wrist and slipped the key ring out of his hand. “It’s Luigi! Bowser, he- it’s all my fault! I–” She bit down on her lower lip, cutting herself off. No. Now was not the time for panicked confessions. Not a second could be wasted wallowing in guilt. In an instant she collected herself and tried again. “Bowser took your brother! I heard a crash coming from the westmost tower. I think that’s where they went. You have to go. Now.” "Luigi?" A troubled look flashed across Mario's face. He nodded, but conflict shone bright in his blue eyes as he slowly backed away. Worry for his brother demanded he hurry, but concern for Peach stilled him. What if the key she needed wasn’t on the ring? What if Kamek regained consciousness? What if someone else caught her trying to escape? Perhaps he should try hitting the door to her cage with the hammer... would that be faster? Would that draw too much attention? “Go on,” Peach urged, jangling the keys in her hands, “I won’t be too far behind, I promise!”

Again, Mario nodded, this time with greater determination. "Please, be careful!" With that, he turned and sped out of the throne room, leaving the princess to sort through the dozens of keys in search of one that could unlock her cell.

_____ Bowser pulled his head from the wall and shook the rubble from his horns as his fiery red eyes glanced about the room, quickly finding the ajar door and the speckled trail of blood leading out of it.

He let out a grunt of annoyance, but he felt little more than that. Luigi hadn’t gotten far, he could still smell the man’s open wounds. Even before Bowser exited the cell he could already sense that Luigi had gone up the stairs to the battlements rather than down them toward the main corridors, probably preferring to try and find an escape route along the castle rooftops rather than risk the crowded halls down below in his injured state.

A risky choice. A stupid choice. There was nowhere to hide up there. Outside, thundering clouds of ash blacked out the sky, robbing the land of any semblance of sunlight. The world was lit solely by the molten rock that flowed about the castle’s base and the golden embers that floated about the air– burnt remnants of what little managed to grow in this accursed land.

Luigi, trying to ignore the oppressive heat, ran along the tops of the castle wall, one hand over his wounded stomach, the other putting pressure on his injured thigh. Thankfully no organ or artery had been punctured as far as he could tell, but at this rate moving too recklessly would sap him of strength before he found a place to hunker down and rest– some secluded archway or tucked away window sill, where he could settle his heartbeat, and tend his wounds. He didn't make it far before heard Bowser’s thundering footsteps fast approaching, his predatory silence far more frightening than any taunt or threat. But while the koopa was fast– far faster than any human– what he had in speed Luigi matched in agility, even in his injured state. Turning toward his pursuer, Luigi shielded himself behind another burst of green flame. He dove beneath Bowser’s legs and weaved about his flicking tail, taking advantage of every tiny gap and blindspot like a skittering insect, aiming flashes of fire at the koopa's eyes until finally Bowser– at the end of his already limited patience– tucked himself completely into his shell, and spun. “Whirling Fortress” was the name of the maneuver. He rarely ever used it, in most cases it was overkill, and if Luigi hadn’t had a powerup to absorb the blow no doubt the spikes would’ve done far more harm than sending him flying into the parapet. But it did the trick, disempowering and disorienting the green plumber enough for Bowser to once more take hold of him, and this time he intended to take full advantage of his position.

After pinning Luigi to the ground with one hand, Bowser grabbed the calf of his uninjured leg with the other, and twisted it all the way around like a ragdoll. A pained screech filled the scorching air as the joints of Luigi's knee, hip, and ankle snapped. The scream rose in volume and pitch as bone shattered soon after, until at last his leg was left twisted in a ghoulish, unnatural position. Bowser, satisfied, released his hold to let the mangled limb fall limp to the stone floor. “There. No more running away. No more hiding.” Luigi quivered from the shock, wide eyed and whimpering incoherently, but as pathetic as he looked, Bowser was surprised he had maintained consciousness. His vague sense of being impressed quickly turned into disgust, however, when then whimpering became retching, and Luigi poured the contents of his stomach onto the ground. “Look at you…” Bowser grumbled. He took hold of the back of Luigi’s head and smeared it against the mess he had made like he was disciplining an animal. “You can’t even take a little pain without losing all of your dignity.” “P-please.” Luigi sputtered, unaware that this time begging would merely trigger a fresh flash of rage. The grip on the back of his skull tightened, claws digging into his scalp as his face was brought back down against the bile-smeared stone with staggering force.

His nose was first to give way, his breathing immediately clogged with blood and a new, searing pain that reached behind his eyes. When he felt his head yanked back for a second blow he struggled to turn his face to save the nose from further damage. This resulted in his jaw and cheek taking the brunt of the impact. He barely succeeded in spitting out broken teeth before the third impact stole his will to struggle, and the fourth plunged him into darkness. The pain continued in unconsciousness, shockwaves of agony rippling out into every part of his body. Seconds felt like hours of drowning in the taste of rust and vomit before he at length awoke, dangling in the air by his wrist, held tight in that familiar, scaly grip. Bowser was talking to him… saying something… Luigi tried to open his eyes. Only one would open halfway, giving him a blurred glimpse of a scowling, draconic face. “Did you hear me? I asked you what exactly your plan was,” Bowser huffed, impatiently repeating his question. “Did you think you could jump out at the last moment and save Peaches the way you saved your brother? That you could bide your time until you found the right opportunity to make a fool out of me again?” The violent grip on Luigi’s wrist made it clear that he wanted an answer. After a few gurgling breaths, Luigi managed to speak with an agonizing slowness, feeling like he was chewing sewing needles with every movement of his jaw. “I just… don’t wa..nt… you to… hurt… anyone,” he stuttered, barely audible. Bowser rolled his eyes. “Adorable. Unfortunately…” Luigi felt his wrist break. He let out a meek cry, immediately strangled by the pain of his shattered mouth. “...You are going to pay me back for everything you’ve done.” Bowser leaned in closer to ensure he was heard, even as his prisoner teetered on the very edge of consciousness. “Once your brother is dead, once Peaches is finally mine, only then will I end your life the way it should’ve ended when we first met!” Luigi was too lost in the fog of agony and bloodloss to properly comprehend what was being said, nor did he notice the distant thud of wooden doors being kicked open, but Bowser's attention was immediately drawn to the new arrival on the rooftops. He half-expected to see a troop of palace guards, rushing to assist in a pointless, but noble effort. To his pleasant surprise, Mario alone emerged from the doorway to the battlements, as if summoned by the whispered threat. He rushed toward them, hammer upraised. When he was close enough to get a good look at his brother, that confidence immediately evaporated and he froze, a look of utter horror and disbelief etched into every detail of his face. Bowser wished he had a camera, but he knew it would only be a second before the plumber’s horror turned to rage. To prevent any further resistance, he gripped Luigi by the skull and made his position clear: “One more step and I’ll tear his head off!”

This successfully kept Mario paralyzed. His feet remained fixed to the floor, chest heaving, teeth clenched, white-knuckle grip tightening around the handle of his hammer.

_____

Peach eventually found the key to her cage. It was bright silver and etched with the words “the key to my heart” in cursive letters, small enough to miss the first time she searched. Nauseated by the adornment, she hurriedly unlocked the door to her prison. Just as she emerged into freedom, the princess was startled by a cannonball crashing through the wall nearby. It wasn’t close enough to hurt her or the unconscious magikoopa, but it rattled her senses, and with her hands balled into fists she rushed to see who or what had created the sizable hole in the side of Bowser’s throne room.

She– to her utter delight– was greeted by Toad, calling to her from the deck of a stolen airship. It wasn’t one of those dinky clown cars or a Shy Guy balloon, but a true airship– built like a miniature galleon and equipped with loaded cannons.

Toad alone was at the helm, struggling to comprehend the controls, but learning quickly as he kept the ship steady.

Princess Peach immediately boarded the vessel on his invitation. She took a place in the crow's nest, and as they stuttered off toward the western tower she gave direction and kept lookout. They dipped low, flying close to the base of the castle to avoid as much attention as possible. Whenever a few unfortunate guards noticed the stolen ship and took aim to take them down, Peach called out their location, and Toad returned fire to great effect. These defensive measures, plus the earlier damage to the throne room, caused a small crowd of guards in clown cars to gather at their tail, but their galleon proved swift and sturdy, easily outpacing their pursuers.

_____

Mario tried to think of a plan, but he was utterly transfixed by his brother’s body. It didn’t look real, smeared and crushed and bent all wrong. He could hear and see shallow, labored breath, joined by a groan of agony when Bowser began walking forward while dragging his broken victim behind him. Mario didn't know what to do. "Save him!" his mind screamed, barking substanceless commands in a flood of terror, "Get him out! Do something! Fight back!"

“The hammer.” Bowser growled, “drop it.” Mario obeyed. No sooner had the weapon left his grip he was plucked up in Bowser's free hand, arms pinned to his sides in a vice-like grip. Bowser, now with a plumber in each hand, slammed Mario into the parapet to ensure there was no powerup at play. Mario instinctively responded with a pained grunt, but otherwise seemed to pay no notice of his own position, keeping his attention fully on his brother. “Luigi!” He yelled, tears cracking his voice and blurring his vision. Luigi didn’t respond, but laid slack with his head still wrapped in Bowser's hand, the slow rise and fall of his chest the only indication that he was still alive. “You know, I originally planned for you to watch him die,” Bowser admitted with a tired sigh. “But I changed my mind. I think I’m done with you.”

No sooner had he said this, he reared back and threw Mario over the wall. A steep vertical drop awaited him, nine hundred feet down toward a wide river of molten rock.

______ Shading her eyes with her hand, Princess Peach caught a glimpse of Bowser atop the western side of the castle. She saw signs of a brief scuffle, then… a familiar red shape plunging over the side. Her heart stopped for a moment when she realized what she was seeing, and she urged Toad to increase the ship's speed despite the fact that they were already pushing the vehicle well beyond its limits. Toad, noting the panic in the royal's voice, did as he was told, and as the ship came into position with the stuttering groan of the overworked engine Peach leapt from the crow’s nest to catch her falling friend. Mario was snatched from the air with perfect precision. The floating properties of Peach’s dress cushioned the free fall just enough that when the two hit the deck of the ship, they were unharmed.

When Mario realized he was alive– saw that he was in good company– he reacted at first with a relieved sigh. The moment of joy was short lived, and his eyes were drawn back to the battlements overhead. “He-… he’s hurt!” The tone of his voice made Peach nauseous. Her fears all but confirmed, she held Mario a little tighter and turned to Toad. “Raise the ship’s altitude! Hone in on Bowser’s position! Hurry!”

“Yes, Captain Princess!” was the cheerful reply, Toad clearly not yet aware of the severity of the situation. With a salute he tugged on levers and twisted the great wooden wheel, drawing the bow of the ship upward at a sharp angle, sending them veering toward the rooftops where the shadow of Bowser loomed against the thundering black sky.

#my writing #Super Mario Brothers #Super Mario Bros #Luigi #Mario #Princess Peach #Toad #cw blood #cw torture #cw vomit #cw violence #angst #Mario Movie

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Five Random Redacted Headcanons

Okay i havent really slept for a solid amount of time of sleep for like 48 hours now but i need yall to hear me out on this.

Redacted Masterlist

OKAYREADYSETGOMOTHERFUCKERS!

1) The Shaw Pack has a random XXL sweater that just circulates around. No one is sure who the original owner is, nor if the OG owner is still in the pack or alive. But whenever one of them is having a rough day, whoever had the sweater previously will bring it to them. It’s a communal comfort object. It also has like... pasta sauce stains and other food stains from the pack’s comfort food and yes it frustrates David to no end that he can’t get the stains out. The design has long since been washed away. 

Optional: Once the mates (especially Baabe because they are artsy I can feel it in my endocrine system.) get their hands on the sweater, they write little encouraging and comforting phrases for the next person. After a few cycles in the washing machine the ink fades away but the sentiment remains.

2) On Darlin and Sam’s second legit date that wasn’t Darlin bleeding out or having a breakdown or anything, they dragged Sam into the woods. He was slightly concerned that they were going to kill him because it was giving off major serial killer vibes. But it turns out they set up a big hammock between two trees and the two of them spent most of the night cuddled up together in the hammock watching TV on Sam’s phone (William pays for unlimited data and he can get signal in the woods) and eating gummy worms.

3) Pre-turned Lovely had a whole arsenal of electricity related jokes that William supplied to them to use on VIncent if he ever got on their nerves. I imagine it went something like this:

Vincent: -Which is why I’m right, Lovely.

Lovely: Well you know what I’m right about?

Vincent: What?

Lovely: How many DAMN students it takes to change a lightbulb.

Vincent: How many?

Lovely: One. Me. 

The jokes aren’t good or funny, but they got to act like it was a big deal and if anyone in the Solaire clan heard them, they would hype Lovely up and make Vincent feel like the silly bbg that he is.

4) One of the times that Aaron pissed Smartass off (post-confession) they purposefully dumped a bag of chips and packages of crackers on the bed and stomped all over it to make sure the crumbs were really small. It was only after this that they remembered that they sleep in the same bed as Aaron and would suffer as well. They have yet to emotionally recover from this.

5) David and Angel have a little chalkboard that counts the days between Angel being an unapologetic flirt. The counter has stayed at a consistent zero for the past seven months because Angel has been texting David daily to ask for nudes. He refuses to send them, but they persist for the hope that they might convince him that the only way their three brain cells will survive is if they see a Davey nude. He tried to get them to stop asking by threatening to make an onlyfans but they only hyped him up for it because it meant they could get nudes for sure then by paying money.

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted hc #redacted headcanons #redacted shaw pack #redacted darlin #redacted darling #redacted sam #redacted vincent #redacted lovely #redacted aaron #redacted smartass #redacted david #redacted angel #redacted asher #redacted baabe #redacted milo #redacted sweetheart

[companion-showdown]

Who is your favourite companion?

ROUND 2 MASTERPOST

propaganda under the cut

Hex Schofield

Hex is such an amazing character. The dynamic between Seven and Ace was so perfect both on TV and in their prior audios. And yet with this addition they not only maintained that quality but increased it. Hex adds so much to their team with Ace getting to have more of a mentor role and him being almost as much Ace's companion at the Doctor's. They have such an incredible run of stories and the three of them work so well together. If you have heard them you'll know why he deserves a vote and if you haven't heard them you need to correct that and discover this great character. (@seven-times-champion /@elden-12 )

Not as well known as many of the other main Big Finish companions, which is a damn shame! Hex has been through A LOT, and still comes out the other side. You've got to admire that. Ace and Hex play off each other well, and they're one of my favorite teams. He's neat, and has got some great stories! Because of his relative obscurity, I sadly don't expect him to get too far, but a vote for Hex is not a vote miscast! (@seismologically-silly )

Helen Sinclair

you can't have liv without helen :( (anonymous)

She's a linguist from 1963 (whoo! non-contemporary companion!) who before traveling with the Doctor & Liv had to constantly fight for her right to be a woman in academics and after leaving her time still has to contend with self-doubt but is such a badass. She's a literal genius, saved the universe multiple times, always stands up for people getting screwed over by mainstream society, and is canonically gay (though horribly repressed). Also upon meeting Roberts!Master for the first time, Helen immediately punches him in the face and nothing is more iconic than that. (anonymous)

She’s smart and funny and resourceful. Liv and Eight would probably kill each other if she wasn’t around. She’s usually got the shared TARDIS team brain cell. (anonymous)

#showdown 2k24: round 2

[philosophicalparadox]

An educational post for writers: the effects of malnutrition/starvation:

Malnutrition/starvation has a bunch of really fucky effects, and I see whump people use malnutrition/starvation from time to time, (i am utilizing it now, hence the post) but rarely do they depict the horrific suffering. I have actually starved before, so here's my medically accurate advice on what that looks like:

Among the most prominent of effects of lack of food/lack of nutritious food ironically not depicted, for it is the most common nutritional deficit on earth, is anemia - lack of iron means your body doesnt produce blood like it used to, which at a point makes you cold all the time! It also messes with your bodily sense of blood pressure, making you more likely to notice tiny changes, which in turn can trigger dizziness, severe anxiety, heart palpitations, fainting, and vascillations between cognitive clarity and a foggy feeling. Lack of iron causes lack of red blood cells, which means you can't distribute oxygen as efficiently. This causes fatigue, a general sense of unwellness, called "malaise", and causes you to breathe and your heart to beat faster than they normally should. This, in turn, can trigger more anxiety! Anemia is a very anxiety inducing deficiency on its own because your body knows it's in trouble and it definitely wants to tell you about it!

It only takes about 3-4 days without food to develop anemia to this degree, though it can take as little as 2 if you already have deficits. If you are eating food but it's lacking in iron this transition can take 2-3 weeks, as your body uses up its iron reserves located in your liver, spleen and bone marrow (where red blood cells are produced).

Malnutrition and especially starvation also screws with your electrolytes, making you prone to dizzy spells and vertigo, and can seriously affect the myelin sheathes around your nerves and the delicate proteins in your brain, which combined with electrolyte imbalance and probable anemia can cause anything from blurred vision, headaches, fatigue and cognitive impairment (pervasive brain fog), at best, all the way up to the moderate landing of muscle spasms and ataxia (loss of coordination) and functional loss of senses like sight and hearing, to the severe landing of seizures and total organ failure. Also, malnourished muscles hurt!!! They hurt to touch, they hurt to move, it hurts to exist!

I once went 8 full days with little to no food, so I know this stuff from experience. Let me tell you, hunger pains are God fucking awful and paradoxically make you feel very nauseous and can cause vomiting, (your body wants to get rid of the concentrated stomach acid) and are truly indescribable in their instinctual ability to instill desperation, depression and terror. You would eat a lot of things you never thought you would after just three days without food. At 8, I was very strongly considering eating my pet birds. I had already begun eating their seeds. The only thing that saved them was one measly bag of potato chips, the very last thing resembling human food in the pantry (the vending machine size chips) on day 6, which gave me just enough salt and fat to rethink that idea.

Anyway, muscles! Hurt!!! Especially if you don't eat a lot of protein to start out. Muscular degeneration or "digestion" (ketosis) can happen surprisingly fast if you arent eating anything at all. 5-7 days usually if you are healthy, though 3 is not unheard of, especially if you are expending a lot of calories and have very little fat. It's quirky hallmark? A strangely sweet and metallic taste in your mouth. Like a penny coated in sugar water. The ache is hard to describe, but it is constantly there, and honestly wore me down psychologically more than the hunger pains, which curiously went away after day 4, only coming back with a vengeance when I tried to eat anything. It hurt to move, it hurt to think about moving, and the constant low level pain was absolute torture. The fatigue didn't help. I normally slept about 6-9 hours. During that time after day 3 or so, I started sleeping 15 or more, in bursts, and had very little energy to do anything but rest. Every now and then I'd get a burst of restlessness, my body pushing me to find food or drink water. It was unpleasant. The headaches were pretty bad too, at first.

Malnutrition, and specifically a lack of protein, also causes pervasive muscle aches and all the neurologic issues mentioned above.

My experience led me to the development of ataxia that has never completely gone away. I remember the panic of nearly blacking out while trying to stand too, and not being able to cognitively focus on anything, much less visually focus. (Started about day 5). Mind you, I was 15 years old and weighed only 89 lbs prior to this period, with a fast metabolism and very little fat. After it I weighed 81 lbs. 8lbs in 8 days is a lot of weight to lose, and boy did my body hate me for some time after that. But my insomnia was cured for a while!

Anyway, i hope this proves insightful for all your whumping and torturous needs. I didn't plan on making it so personal, but hey, I've lived through that, so it seemed relevant to add that here.

Happy writing!

#writing advice #whump

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

For the prompts Malec as Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce 🫢

Magnus as the one of the most successful and famous pop star ever and Alec as a famous football player who won 2 Super Bowl

As much as Alec loves football, he hates interviews and having to talk to the public. He knows he is lucky enough to live this dream, but he’s not really made for paparazzi and red carpets. He’s meant to stay inside his home and gang up with Jace on Izzy’s cooking.

But alas, life doesn’t always work the way you want and Alec is forced to appear on this interview by PulseCapture Insider. Alec thinks it’s the stupidest name for a channel but so are most of them.

He’s not really here for himself. He’s here for something else—he’s here to set the record straight. Not that he needs to, but because he wants to.

It’s the least he could do.

He’s barely seven minutes into the interview when he’s hit with the question. He’s not surpised because they’ve gone through all variations of the ‘how great was that touchdown’ question.

“So, now that you’re here. We believe it’s a great opportunity to ask you the million dollar question?”

Alec rolls his eyes, internally as he replies. “And what’s that?”

“About your new whirlwind romance with none other than Magnus Bane,” the interviewer comments.

There’s something about the way the interviewer says Magnus’s name that irks Alec. He’s not sure why.

“We’re dating, yeah.”

The interviewer, Sebastian looks a bit surpised, as if he didn’t expect Alec to answer so easily.

Media is so fucking weird. They’ll hound you until you’re forced to tell your truth but they’ll also hound you if you tell your truth easily. It’s insane on every single level and while Alec’s famous, he’s not familiar with the level of scrutiny that actors and singers have to deal with. He’s a sportsperson. There’s limit to that. But celebrities, their lives are on constant watch and Alec hates that.

He’s not sure how Magnus ever deals with it.

“That’s great,” Sebastian breathes.

“Yeah. Magnus is great.”

There’s a moment of silence and Alec guesses that all of Sebastian’s questions revolves around proding Alec. Now he needs a new line of questioning.

He passes a few comments about their relationship before he asks. “So, a lot of people are saying that Magnus Bane is with you for the money. Care to comment on that?”

Out of all the ludicrous things anyone can ask him, Alec believes this one takes the cake. He’s baffled by the judgement in people’s minds.

“If anyone were to be in this for the money, it would be me,” Alec smirks.

Sebastian frowns. “What?”

“I make 18 million dollars a year. Magnus makes around 150. His hair costs more than my entire house,” Alec points out.

“Oh.”

“Anyone with a single brain cell and a working laptop would be able to find out this. I’m guessing you only have one of the two things,” Alec smirks.

The interview ends shortly after that. Alec has a flight to catch after that so the next few hours pass easily. He’s exhausted by the time he reaches his destination.

He enters the building and the watchmen lets him in as Alec is on the list now.

Three minutes later, Alec is inside the loft and he searches for the other man. Alec’s not surprised when he finds Magnus in the balcony.

Magnus knows he’s coming, Alec had informed him earlier.

“Hey.”

His boyfriend turns and even though he knew, even know they’ve been texting the entire time, there’s a beaming smile on his face as he sees Alec.

“Hi, sweetheart.”

Alec smiles as he steps forward. Magnus makes space for him on the couch and Alec sits there carefully. This- this, between them is still relatively new so Alec is careful sometimes. Even though whenever he’s with Magnus, he never wants to think again. He never plans or prepares. He just does.

“Hi, baby,” he breathes as he finally connects their lips. Magnus’s smile grows against his face and Alec can feel the heat grow in between them.

“I missed you,” Magnus says quietly, as he brings their forehead together.

“Me too,” Alec replies and pulls Magnus in for another kiss. They take it slow this time, their bodies shifting closer to each other.

“I saw your interview,” Magnus says after a while as he lays against Alec’s chest, playing with his fingers.

Alec hopes he’s not said more than Magnus wanted them to. But they’ve talked about this. There would be no rules. They could both say whatever the fuck they wanted.

“And?”

Magnus turns and there’s a mischievous grin on his face as he replies, “I didn’t realise you’re in it for money, Alexander. I am hurt.”

A loud chuckle escape his lips at the words. “I hate to break it to you but it’s true, baby.”

#Alec sugar baby rights>> #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood

[autumn816]

So many things to talk about when you watch all the three Australian fan zone:

1. What kind of magic air does Australia have to get them both to forgot they are in front of a camera

2. Them bringing up surfing together

3. Lewis’ beef with sharks

4. George’s “I wouldn’t know” after the interviewer talked about how cosy it gets for skydiving. Why did his “I don’t know” sound so personal😭😭

5. Lewis hyping George up to get a pet pig. You just know one brain cell is shared between the two of them

2022

2023

This one is a personal favourite. Crazy of them to look at each other like that

2024

They were just bumping into each other the whole time

#britcedes #george russell #lewis hamilton

[ohanny]

I've been waiting for this show since last year because they kept marketing it as poly and I won't let them cop out because if they do I will set something on fire so here's my personal step by step plan on how we get these three together:

1. Seiji, who has been shown to be really decisive about his moves, pursues Ken who is way more cautious and turns him down because Ken really fucking wants to but NEEDS this job and he's scared and Seiji is bummed but he gets it and gah all the sexual tension on stage.

2. Enter Pan and basically where we are when the show starts and Ken realizes he might have fucked up and underestimated exactly how many feelings he has.

3. Ken confronting Seiji about his thing with Pan with a "It is forbidden, the laminated rule board says so" and Seiji is all "Oh for fucks sake grow up, Ken" and when Ken looks at him like a hurt puppy "But -" Seiji is like "But what? Was I supposed to wait for you forever?" before walking off.

4. Ken corners Pan in some broom closet or whatever. Pan's like "Uh?" and Ken's like "Seiji. He's not some fun thing you can experiment with, okay? So if this is like some gay awakening or whatever -" and Pan's like "It's not! I really like him, okay!" and he's all defensive and genuine and then a bit baffled because Ken looks... sad? And then Ken looks at him with his big wet brown eyes all "Good. You have no idea how lucky you are" and walks off and Pan is like "... huh?"

5. Pan goes to Seiji like "I know this is none of my business but it was kinda made my business so uh... is Ken your ex or something?" and Seiji is suspicious all "What the fuck did he say to you?" and Pan is like "He just wanted to make sure I was being serious and I am!" (Seiji smirks and Pan blushes) "But then he got a bit weird and just... told me how lucky I am to have you?" And then Pan watches Seiji get that same kinda sad look in his face before shaking his head and wrapping his arm around Pan with "Nah, we never had anything. He's just being Ken."

shockingly step 6 might involve Pan having ALL the brain cells because 6. Pan as a professional university dude shipper internet kid being able to do the math about this weird pining + sexual tension going between Ken and Seiji. And then he has to have a moment of introspection because a) he hates all the girls hanging all over Seiji but b) he does not hate watching Seiji and Ken be all over each other on stage. So maybe to test this out, he invites Ken to crash his planned date with Seiji and he's all "Oh, he's your best friend! We should all hang out together!"

7. Them getting drunk in some bar and Seiji getting handsier by the minute and Ken is like "Yeah, I'm just gonna head home ._." and Pan is like "Booooo, don't you like me?" and Ken's like "I like you kiddo but I really don't need to see this" and Pan pouts because he's a baby and then he suddenly grins and jumps up all "You can't leave before a good night kiss!" Before Ken can do much, Pan plants a big one right on his lips and then shoves Ken at Seiji like "Seiji too!" And Seiji is smirking a bit because when does he not and also Pan is adorable but then Ken is at his face with those big brown eyes and suddenly it's not all that funny anymore? And then Ken is kissing him, soft and careful and oh and Pan's like "Oh yeah. I am definitely into this. Noice."

8. Nothing more happens because well, Pan is drunk as fuck and Ken is a gentleman and all but next morning when Pan wakes up in bed with Seiji, Seiji's like "So how much of last night do you remember?" and Pan's like "Kissing Ken... oooh I remember" and when Seiji's like ... Pan is like "Oh come on. Don't tell me you don't want to?" and when Seiji's like "It's not that simple" Pan is like "It actually is if you're not dumb about it" and Seiji's like "I think Ken was wrong. I'm lucky to have you" and Pan's like "BOTH of you are, I am amazing!"

9. Pan showing up at Ken's door all "Hi! I am here to take you out!" and Ken's like ".... I am so confused right now? Where's Seiji?" and Pan's like "Working on his abs with Great which means I am bored and since I would rather die than go on a stairmaster, I decided we will get to know each other better!" and Ken just.... goes with it because he seems like a pretty chill dude although he is kinda moving with the energy of someone expecting a bomb to drop and then at the end of the evening Pan's like "Let me take you home" and Ken's like "That's Seiji's place?" and Pan's like "Yeah, I don't really put out until the third date but Seiji totally does and I wanna test my hypothesis on exactly how much I like to watch you two... unless you don't want to! In which case we can just... watch a movie or something!" and Ken's like oh fuck it and kisses Pan who fist bumps in glee and god it's so dumb but also adorable.

10. They live happily ever after and all love each other and shower together and save TWICE as much water like the environmentally friendly gays they are, the end.

#deep night the series #throuple or trouble #kenseijipan

[crystal-mouse]

hello there

what are your top three spirk moments from tos? (or more if you can’t decide…)

hello there general kenobi

It's gonna be tricky but here are my top three five tos spirk moments (sorry if you meant just the main series, but i'm including the films just because I love them sm):

It's gotta be "captain, not in front of the klingons" from STV/Final Frontier

Theres' several reasons why i love this scene, all of them gay. I think it's a really sweet, funny and the expressions on both Kirk and Spock's face say it all. Everything about it screams 'oh they were gonna kiss here huh'- I show this clip to almost everyone ik who isn't into trek.... yet.

There's also the line to how Jim could never die when Spock is there (lets ignore how that links to generations) and Jim also thought he was going to die/never see Spock again (for the second time) and this was his reaction.

2. JIM! /Basically all of amok time

I mean it's a little bit the same as above, but I really love how Spock is so overcome with emotion and happiness of getting to see Jim alive that he literally grins and grabs onto him to check that he's real. It's a really lovely end to the episode and not to mention it's the kickstart of queer fandom <3

3. Their whale date in STIV/The Voyage Home

The voyage home is my favourite trek movie of all time and it's purely because of the chaotic nature of these two chuckleheads (and the rest of the crew of course) trying and failing to fit into 1980s San Fransisco, and effectively going on a nice date to the cetacean institute and it gives very 'old married couple' vibes

this is the face of a man who's husband has yet again done something "logical" (read: stupid)

4. Sharing a room in city on the edge of forever

Once again, it is proven these two do not have a functional brain cell between them when it comes to time travel. it's basically a fic in itself and I really like the moments of domesticity that they get to share when they don't have to deal with a red alert every 10 minutes. this line will always get me too.

5. And last but definitely not least: Dig it in there, Mr Spock

This is a classic, I love it. it's so funny and once again the reactions crack me up time after time 10/10 no notes. I just want to know what was going through their heads or whether something like this had happened before/possibly privately to lead to this precise moment on the bridge.

Top 10 moments before disaster (colourised)

I could create a list the length of the colour of the sky on these two, so for now these are probably my favourite five spirk moments! Thank you for the ask! ^_^

#star trek #tos #spirk #mouse rambles #mouse answers #k/s

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Dune 2021/2024, Dune 1984 and Dune 2000 miniseries comparison.

After watching Dune part 2 I found out that there were actually other adaptions of the book and so with my curiosity piqued I decided to give them a watch and what I found really interesting was how different each one was, so I figured I'd make a post talking about some of the main differences between the three adaptions I watched. Obviously there are spoilers for both Dune part one and two, the 1984 film and the 2000 miniseries, I ma also going to put a book spoiler warning even though I haven't read the book because I am going to assume that some of the things that were present in the earlier adaptions and missing from the Villeneuve version probably came from the book, but anyway lets jump in.

The Harkonnens

The portrayal of the House Harkonnen is very different in the 2021/2024 films than in the other two adaptions. In Villeneuve's version they come across as much more threatening and terrifying. In the 1984 version they are just kind of disgusting and repulsive, like in almost every scene they are doing something that makes your stomach churn, whether that is having the doctor treating the boils on the Baron's face or Rabban tearing a dead cow's jaw off and munching down on it, uncooked, while making their evil plans. It seemed Lynch was really leaning into them being just repulsive and animal like to the audience.

When it comes to the miniseries they are portrayed in a more ridiculous, flamboyant and over the top, kind of way. They all seem a bit unhinged but it felt more like you were supposed to laugh at them than be afraid of them. It's still clear that they are the enemy that needs to be defeated and that they are brutal but they, in my opinion, also seemed to be portrayed as being a bit dumb, except maybe for the Baron. But you had Rabban who seemed to be just mindless muscle with anger issues, Feyd who often seemed like he was short a few brain cells and was kind of that dumb handsome jock type almost and the Baron who clearly had the smarts to pull off an evil plan but he was very flamboyant and a bit goofy, might be the word I'm looking for, but it was hard to take either the 1984 version or the miniseries version of the Baron very seriously as a scary threat when he was floating around the place like a villain from the power rangers.

In opposition of that Villeneuve turned the Harkonnens into something that was truly menacing and something that seemed powerful. Whilst watching both Part One and Two, I genuinely felt afraid of those characters, it felt like they really were threats to the fremen and to paul and his family. He even managed to make the Baron's floating seem creepy and imposing instead of gimmicky and goofy. I also really liked the change he did where instead of them being overly colourful he put them in black and took the red hair away to give them the bald heads, it made them seem more militaristic and harsh, if that makes sense, I just love that he stripped all the colour from them.

Liet-Kynes

So this one is less a comparison and delves more into theory/possibility mode but I still wanted to talk about it. One of the biggest changes for this character in Villeneuve's adaption is that she is a woman, in the other two adaptions (and I am guessing the book) the character is male. What I found really interesting though was that in the miniseries Liet-Kynes is not only a really respected figure amongst the fremen but also Chani's father. That does make me wonder if the character in Villeneuve's version was supposed to be Chani's mother and they just cut it out for whatever reason? If so then I kind of wish they had leant into that in part two as it would have given her another connection point with Paul in order to build their relationship. He had just lost his father and she just lost her mother, it could have been interesting to see them discuss those losses with each other and to see how they both deal with their own grief. The fact that Liet died helping Paul and him maybe feeling some responsibility or grief over that in relation to her being the mother of the woman he comes to love, could also have been interesting to explore. Another thing that could've been interesting to explore if they had stuck to Liet being Chani's mother was it seemed that Liet did believe in the prophecy yet Chani very much does not, it makes me wonder if there was any tension between Chani and her mother over the prophecy and whether Chani would have some resentment over her mother dying to save Paul because she believed he was the Mahdi.

Ok so I actually did a quick google search just now and it turns out that Villeneuve confirmed in an interview with entertainment weekly that they changed the gender of Liet-Kynes but that Chani was still her daughter and now I bummed out because it feels like such a wasted opportunity to cut that out, but who knows maybe it'll come up in part three, don't think its likely but you never know.

Gom Jabbar Test

So I'll be honest in most things I think Villeneuve did it best, if there is any adaption that I will go back and watch over and over its his. That being said there is one little thing that I think the other two versions did ever so slightly better than the more recent Dune Part One. That's the Gom Jabbar test, you know the creepy box that contains pain. In the 2021 version I understood that Paul was feeling pain but in the other versions they use visuals to show you exactly what kind of pain Paul is feeling. It is so much worse than anything I imagined when watching the scene in the 2021 version. In both the 1984 film and the 2000 miniseries we are shown visuals of the flesh being burned right off of his hand to the point where bone is revealed. It is gruesome and it really made me want to look away but it did also fully make me understand just how much pain Paul was in during that scene, it has now completely changed how I view that scene in the 2021 version because like yikes no thanks.

Jessica

Jessica is actually probably the most consistent character across all the adaptions, although I would say maybe she's a bit darker and more obviously manipulative when it comes to winning followers over to Paul as the Mahdi from the prophecy in Villeneuve's version. However there was one interesting little difference between the 1984 and miniseries versions and the 2021 version and that is the reason why Jessica chose to have a boy instead of a girl like she was instructed to. In the 2021 version Mother Mohiam says that Jessica was arrogant enough to think she could bring forth the Kwisatz Haderach and Jessica doesn't dispute instead just saying 'was I wrong', which is interesting because it implies that even before he was born Jessica planned to install Paul as this messiah figure and it shows her as being much more scheming. But in the other two versions the reason given is simply that she loved the Duke and he wanted a son so she wanted to give him that. I do think that this could have contributed to Jessica's motivations in the 2021 version as well, but having that line saying she wanted to bring forth the Kwisatz Haderach adds another interesting layer to Jessica's motivations.

Alia Atreides

It turns out that the creepy, magical, mystical, talking, fetus baby has a name and its Alia, in the 1984 film and 2000 miniseries she's actually an equally creepy, magical, mystical, talking toddler and not going to lie as creepy as I find her I also kind of love her in a, she terrifies me and she is clearly unhinged but there's just something about her, kind of way. I mean in the 1984 film it is another one of those plot points that they just kind of narrate over, they just announce that drinking the waters of life caused Jessica to go into preterm labour and also made Alia mature much faster. In the miniseries they do go a little deeper into her character and there is this scene where she creeps out a ton of the adults by saying a baby looks like a man that was dead before she was born, after she is talking to her mother and talks about how she hates how they all look at her because its not her fault she knows things and she says she feels like a freak. It reminded me a bit of that scene in Dune Part One in the tent where Paul screams at his mother that she made him a freak. I just couldn't help but feel really sorry for Alia in that moment.

However going back to the unhinged creepy part. Another huge difference between 2021/2024 Dune films and the other two adaptions is the way the Baron dies. In Dune Part Two Paul kills the Baron and its a very serious and dark moment, as Paul slowly pushes the blade into the Baron's throat. But in the other versions its actually Alia that kills the Baron and in both versions it comes across as both creepy and well a bit silly and absurd. In both versions she kills him with the Gom Jabbar needle and the baron, who still has the floating machine thingy on, proceeds to float about the room like an inflated balloon. In the 1984 version after pricking him with the needle she also stabs him I think, but there is this really creepy scene where Alia is just standing there with this blood soaked knife laughing manically.

Another creepy thing she does is get into Mother Mohiam's head which clearly disturbs her alot and its actually Alia that she calls abomination in the earlier versions not Paul. It is very clear that Alia does seem to have a like for seeing people suffering and also seems to have a violent side, like there's another scene in the miniseries where she is sitting at the base of Paul's throne and just smiling and laughing creepily at all the chaos going on around her. I just feel like Alia might benefit from a therapist, just a suggestion.

Obviously the changes to the 2024 Dune part two were made because in this version Alia isn't even born yet. Ironically though I do think you get more of a sense of her character through her talking to her mother and paul than you do in the two adaptions where she is born. But the other versions have made me even more excited to see this character once she has been born in part three. We did get that little shot of her as an adult in Paul's vision played by Anya Taylor-Joy, but yeah I suspect she's going to be an interesting character to watch.

Princess Irulan

This is another character that changes a fair amount from adaption to adaption. In the 1984 film she's another one that really isn't in it a whole amount. She does the narration at points including at the start of the film, explaining the set up and what not, and then she appears at the end of the film alongside her father but she really is not in it, she has such a minor role, Paul doesn't evne ask for her hand in marriage in this film, (but I do think there is a deleted scene of this?).

When we get to the miniseries though she actually has a much bigger role. She meets Paul much earlier in the film when she attends a banquet on Arrakis and she kind of has this flirty conversation with Paul and a little dance, seems like she kinda likes him. She also investigates the attack on the Atreides trying to discover if her father played a part in the attack, she even goes so far to flirt with and seduce Feyd to get him to reveal the information to her. In the miniseries I'm pretty sure it is also her that tells Margot to get pregnant by Feyd and secure the bloodline. Also at the end its actually her that says that the only solution is for her and Paul to wed and honestly, unlike Florence Pugh's version of the character, she seems pretty happy with the turn of events. I found that in the miniseries she comes across as very kind of cheerful, smart and sassy and also has this girlish flair about her, but I still can't decide if I liked her or not.

Which brings me to the 2024 version and Florence Pugh's portrayal. This version of the character did seem to be a bit more serious which honestly fits in more with the darker feel of these later adaptions. I did feel like you got more of a sense of her connection with the Bene Gesserit, there were times in the miniseries where I honestly forgot that she was part of their order, but in the 2024 adaption they did a good job of highlighting that connection. Making that connection clear also makes the ending scene more interesting because she doesn't look particularly happy about being Paul's bride and it does come across as like she only agrees to save her father's life but we know from an earlier conversation with Mother Mohiam that Irulan was already aware that she was going to have to do her part and either marry Paul or Feyd. It just adds that extra layer to that end scene, along with those looks that are exchanged between her, paul and Chani and you can see her putting pieces into place. This is another character that I am curious to see more of in part three. I just hope that they aren't going to try and turn it into some love triangle thing, in the miniseries its made very clear that Paul is devoted only to Chani and that the marriage is only a political one.

Chani (and Paul)

Chani is so different in each adaption, like so different and honestly my favourite version has to be Villeneuve's version because she has just got so much more depth to her and seems so much more of a complex and realistic character, I also think she is a lot more relatable.

In the 1984 version when I say she is barely in it, I mean she has like six lines total. I do think a large part of this was because with that version they tried to do the whole book in one movie and it didn't entirely work. Chani and Paul's relationship consists pretty much of two voice overs, one where the narrator says Paul fell in love with a fremen girl Chani and the second saying Paul and Chani fell even deeper in love, with some shots of them kissing. It was very underwhelming and you really didn't get a sense of their relationship as it was all tell and very, very little show.

The miniseries was a little better as the story was spread over three, one and half hour long, episodes. So we got to see a bit more of the relationship between Chani and Paul and she had a bit more substance as a character although I personally would have liked to see more of her as she still felt a little flat and really did seem to be there as the love interest. One really big difference that caught me by surprise though, is that in the miniseries they actually have a child who they call Leto after his father. Tragically Leto is killed when the Harkonnens and Sardaukar attack their sietch. This is obviously something that doesn't make it into Villeneuve's version of part two and I think that is partly to do with the time span differences, in the mini series years go by as opposed to the eight or so months of Dune Part Two. But it is still interesting that in the miniseries there is this whole new layer to Chani as her role as a mother that we don't see in the other versions. However I do think that the miniseries could have leant more into her role as a mother than they did as she only really has a few scenes with her son before he is killed off. It's even worse with Paul as the only scene you get of him with his son is a long distance shot of him carrying his son. We do see a couple of scenes of him grieving though.

When it comes to Villeneuve's and Zendaya's version of Chani, as I said above, I do think she was alot more fleshed out and she seemed more like a character in her own right rather than just the obedient love interest. I loved that they added in the plot of her not being a believer in the prophecy and how she sees that it is just a plot by the bene gesserit to further control and enslave her people, I think it adds an interesting new perspective that the others didn't have. I also love that she is a fighter and goes on the missions to attack the harvesters with Paul and the others and that she's the one that shows him the fremen ways alongside Stiglar. Not only did it bring her character more to the forefront and give her more to do but because she was actually with Paul it meant they had the time to build their relationship and romance in a way that felt natural. With them being apart whilst Paul was off training and fighting with the Fedaykin, in the earlier versions, there wasn't as much time to spend on building the romance so I didn't really buy into it as much as I did with Dune part two. By making Chani a Fedaykin herself, they could cover both the plot of Paul becoming a fremen and a Fedaykin but also still have the time for the romance.

I also think the ending scene and reaction to Paul embracing the role of Mahdi, overthrowing the emperor and asking for the princess' hand was more realistic in the 2024 version. I never really understood Chani just accepting it in the miniseries version, the engagement part wasn't even in the 1984 version. Chani's look of shock followed by anger in the 2024 version just seemed more relatable to me. I did very much feel like in the other versions Chani was just blinded by love and was meekly following along with whatever Paul wanted and to me personally I just didn't find that very interesting. I am also a huge sucker for angst though and the 2024 ending definitely had that angst. I also think Chani being angry and feeling betrayed adds alot more weight to that scene. Instead of it feeling like a victory its a kind of gut punch as you feel the same betrayal that Chani felt, watching Paul lose himself more and more to this role of Messiah after he promised her he wouldn't. There is also that scene where Chani takes the blue scarf that is supposed to represent her love for Paul off her head and wraps it around her arm instead, almost like its a mourning band, as if she is mourning the loss of the man she fell in love with. Its so much more heartbreaking and also intriguing than the other versions.  

Paul's Journey

The biggest difference between all these versions for me though was the character of Paul and his journey into becoming the messiah to the fremen. In Villeneuve's version I thought it was pretty clear that this was a tale about the dangers of blind faith and false prophets. Whilst I don't think Paul is necessarily a villain I also don't think he's a hero. He's a very complicated and interesting character. In that end scene where Paul defeats Feyd and overthrows the emperor, whilst you can feel the fremen's and Paul's sense of victory, as an audience member you are feeling anything but victorious. Me personally, I was still reeling from the change in Paul's character post drinking the waters of life where he seemed much more detached and colder almost, and also from seeing Chani's betrayal and watching him watching her walk away, that moment when it ends on her face and you can see all her anger and hurt with the tears welling up that she is refusing to let fall. I just feel like that end scene had so much complexity and layers to it, that it is different depending on whose point of view you look at it from. I might do a separate post going into that at some point.

But when it came to Paul's journey in the other adaptions I never got the sense that what Paul was doing was wrong. It just felt more like a hero's journey, this messiah come to lead the fremen. He teaches them to fight and helps them defeat the Harkonnens and defeat the evil emperor. I just felt like neither of the other versions really leant into the consequences of Paul leading the fremen into this Holy War, or into the fact that Paul is fully aware that the prophecy was designed by the Bene Gesserit and is just playing the role as opposed to actually believing that he is the Mahdi.

Which version is best?

So to wrap this all up, I definitely think each adaption had it own interesting interpretations of the story and characters as well as intriguing moments, but I would say my least favourite was Lynch's 1984 film. There was just too much story to pack into one film and the last 45 minutes of that film suffered for it. There was a very obvious moment where they just kind of skipped over a large amount of plot and opted for a narrator just giving you the low down on what has happened in this time skip. Coupled with the stomach turning Harkonnen scenes and the lack of Chani, I can't say I will be rushing to watch that version again anytime soon.

The miniseries was a bit more interesting and did a better job with the pacing of the story and their characters were a bit more fleshed out, there were moments where I did have an emotional reaction. That being said I did find it a bit difficult to connect to the characters and really care about them, I do think it was more plot driven than character driven. But it was fairly enjoyable and it passed an afternoon.

But for me personally Villeneuve's version is hands down and by far the best version. I feel like there's much more focus on the characters and how they are reacting to the plot and what is happening around them. I also think the characters are a lot more relatable than the other versions. I also much prefer the darker more serious tone of this adaption. I felt like I had much more of an emotional response to what was happening to these characters than I did with the other versions.

So yeah that's some thoughts I had on all the different versions of Dune. I am aware that there is a follow on series called Children of Dune but I think its covering what might happen in Dune part three of even beyond on that so I don't want to risk getting spoiled, maybe I'll go watch that in a few years time after Dune three has come out, for now I'm just content to go watch dune part one and two a few more hundred times.

#dune #dune part one #dune part two #dune part 2 spoilers #dune 1984 #dune miniseries #chani #paul x chani #paul atreides #alia atreides