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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 1 month

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OK COLLEGE SASHISU TIME LETS GO

so i think reader + suguru meet 4 the first time after witnessing some weird ass shit on campus, n then they both look at each other cuz theyre the only other ppl in the vicinity, and BAM theyre friends !!! [also they both r studying marine biology so MORE interaction] [but the weird ass shit is what gets the ball rolling pretty much]

so theyre friends yayy !!! reader thinks suguru is the perfect boyfriend n is a little heartbroken when they learn that suguru + satoru r a thing, but they move on [no the fuck they dont theyre just really good at hiding how they feel and they end up hiding it from THEMSELVES] and through suguru + satoru they meet shoko, the sleep deprived n tired med student who they dont see much of at first

but maybe reader remembers something shoko likes n picks it up 4 her at the convenience store, bring it back home, and then BAM reader + shoko hang out way more [and reader keeps buying stuff 4 shoko bcuz theyre in LOVEEEE id do anything 4 my lovely wife mi esposa bonita]

i think reader + satoru r like magnets in the sense that they both attract IMMEDIATELY they both quote the same internet shit that suguru + shoko dont rlly get [like . mulch gang on tiktok] they both share sweet food w each other [sharing being a first 4 satoru, but i think hed share if the ppl around him would APPRECIATE the metric fuck ton of sugar in the shit he eats] n they both r TOUCHY AS FUCKKKKK [self projecting but whatever the author injects parts of themself into their writing or whatever] no but reader + satoru r so annoying w their touchyness w other ppl but w each other theyre clinging on2 eachother 4 dear life, giving each other wet kisses on the cheek, laying on each others bare stomachs, holding on2 any body part at all times, n shoving chairs 2gether 2 make a mega chair so theyre squished 2gether always

AND THEN . DISASTER STRIKES . the readers landlord sold the apartments they lived in 2 someone else and they ARENT RENEWING ANYONES LEASES so reader has 2 get out of there FAST

shoko, suguru, n satoru all live 2gether in a 4 bedroom apt so after reader texts the gc [that satoru made] abt not getting their lease renewed n after a VERY quick discussion they offer their last room 2 the reader !!!!! yay !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MOVING TIME w the help of 3 other ppl [not rlly, satoru just moved already packed boxes around n shouted encouragement at reader + suguru while shoko passed out on readers couch until they had 2 get rid of it since it wouldnt fit in sashisu's apartment] reader didnt mind tho bcuz they got 2 b w their very attractive and silly friends

once they move in finally, so much more of sashisu's dynamic is revealed 2 them [n reader gets slowly integrated in2 it] satosugu r an established couple n do gross couple shit like sloppy make outs IN SHOKOS ROOM . they hang out in there 2 annoy shoko but after she puts more focus on her medical textbook they end up just doing whatever the hell they want ,, shoko doesnt care that much bcuz atp shes used 2 it n reader gets used 2 it pretty fast 2 cuz they would do the same when reader still had an apt [rip readers apt u will b missed]

ANYWAY there is so much tension in that damn apartment its unreal, sometimes the touches w satoru turn awkward in a SNAP, late at night when its just reader n shoko that r awake at the dining table n the conversation lulls n suddenly shokos big brown eyes are the most beautiful things in the world, driving around w suguru 4 groceries n ending up being mistaken as a couple n the idea of what could b just ends up sitting w reader + suguru 4 the rest of the trip AND THEN WHEN UR ALL 2GETHER shoko already also has mildly romantic moments w satosugu separately n together but w reader added in2 the mix ends up w all 4 of u on the couch watching a movie n limbs r everywhere n its warm n its raining outside but ur all inside w blankets n snacks n a shitty movie but ur all w each other so its fine and then suguru makes breakfast the next morning cuz its a sunday n he needs 2 clear out the fridge 2 make room 4 the new weeks groceries

WAIT expanding on breakfast w suguru . waking up around the same time as him n u end up helping w breakfast BUT since suguru is a music nerd 2 ME . 2 ME HE IS . u end up picking out a vinyl from his collection in his room and put something on the record player in the living room [THIS . THIS ALBUM I LOVE IT SO MUCH esp go my son, desert rose, i walk in beauty, reservation blues, sehe nado yodo, n from the eagles bed] so ur both just there swaying in the kitchen n all is good in the world :3

OK . ok . enough tension they all need 2 make out NEOWWWW

i think the first time reader + satosugu kiss on the lips is when they end up looking 2 long at satosugu kissing, so satoru turns 2 reader n says some cocky shit like 'what ? u want one 2 ?' n in full seriousness reader goes 'yes.' n then satoru gets a goofy ass smile n he grants a singular kiss on the lips n then they both turn 2 suguru whos just sitting there in quiet admiration n then he goes DAMN !! theyre all looking at me . in his head n then he just leans forward n gives a firm press on the lips, holding the back of ur head, n he ends up tasting a lil of ur orange chapstick

AND THEN SHOKOO shoko ,,,,,,, theyre both in readers car, in some random parking lot waiting on take out 2 b ready, n its COLDD but shoko wants 2 smoke so she rolls the window down [a courtesy she gives 2 no one without asking other than u, suguru, satoru, n utahime] but the cold ends up coming in either way so u ask her 2 roll it up n she raises an eyebrow n blows the smoke from her previous inhale in ur general direction, and its like shoko herself crawled in2 ur lungs and nested there once u take a deep breath of the secondhand smoke in. 'are you sure ?' she asks and u nod 'yeah, dont want you to get cold' she gives u a sharp smile n puts out the half burnt cigarette n rolls the window up once shes back in the car. shoko tilts her head the way she does when she knows something you dont want her 2 know, 'now what ?' u look into her big eyes with reverence as the smoke smell lingers around you, 'i dunno, what do you want to do ?' your voice is soft, unsure, but what the two of you have been itching to do for the past few months metaphorically crashes over the car as shoko reaches her hand out to you jaw while you cup the side of her face and pull her into a gentle kiss that COULDVE been more if it werent for your damn phone pinging w a notification abt the food being ready

and then !!!!!! u all slip in2 a happy polycule, there isnt much talking required, except 4 one night at the insistence of suguru + reader bcuz u wanted 2 get boundaries straight n grievances aired n suguru wanted 2 know the general details of what was happening between u all

but after that ? GUESS WHAT . ur all in love <3 BUT . DISASTER STRIKES AGAIN . reader has 2 go the hell HOME . 2 THE USA . [probs not the us, but somewhere out of japan] cuz they ran out of days on their school visa n all 4 of u guys r abt 2 finish ur senior year of college. reader wouldve gotten a work visa, but they couldnt find a job in time

so then reader goes home after a few months of the greatest part of their life, and all 4 of u stand in a circle at the airport n everyones crying bcuz u all gave up on holding back tears after satoru started sobbing in the car on the way 2 the airport

even shoko was crying !! damn . u thought her tear ducts were all dried up from how dry her eyes were from staring at computer screens all day [u told her that 2 her face in the car once a few tears slipped away from her big brown eyes n she giggled a lil . and then started crying harder]

all of u look at each other and u end up getting glomped in2 a group hug that reeks of salt and wetness. and then ur all kissing each other. really ur getting showered w kisses on ALL sides while satoru clings on2 ur side like a big baby. eventually when u HAVE 2 go n get started on bag checks n stuff, ur all sobbing, u say i love u , they say it back, and then ur GONE . not 4ever but 4 a few months ur gone until u get a WORK VISAAA

the second everyone [minus reader] is in the car 2 go home, satoru n shoko r searching up the best way 2 get ppl in2 japan thru work visas while suguru is having a mild depression spiral in the front seat [he gets pulled out of that mess FAST]

and then more i havent decided on yet eye dee kay BUT THANK U 4 READING THIS GIANT THING im so excited 2 write it when i finish writing all of the chapters of my satosugu x reader fic which ALSO involves reader having 2 go home, but in . a different way . [not really adsgshsg] also i just realized i changed perspectives so many times writing this . what .

OK lmk what u think teehee ^_^ or not u can scream n ill take it hdjsghsb

ASHLEY. sorry for the wait but i’m finally answering this absolute gem thank you for the feast 🙏🙏

OK SO . the reason this took so long to answer was bc i genuinely don’t have anything to add i just think this is perfect 😭😭 SUCHH a cute & lovely au and it’s just perfect for sashisu :((( i love them sm!! ANYWAYY i’m just gonna comment a bit hehe. i rlly adore this so much!!!

READER AND SUGU MEETING …. both of them studying marine biology ……. that’s so Good. for some reason i’m just imagining the weird campus thing being todou walking around butt ass naked in the middle of winter 💀💀 he’s insane. i love him. AND THEN SHOKOOO OUR MED STUDENT :(( reader buying her stuff is so real and you are too ashley i also need to spoil my wife. she deserves all the treats!!!! AND SATORU . BEING SO TOUCHY. READER BEING TOUCHY RIGHT BACK. they’re cute and i love them

AND THEN MOVING INNNNN WITH THEM my actual dream btw……. that’s the sweetest roommate scenario ever ever ever. anyway THE TENSIONNN I’M SO WEAK. the pining. the slowburn of it all. small intimate touches w satoru and late nights w shoko and grocery trips w suguru…….. ANDDDD that moment when you’re all together and tangled up and everything feels so Right. I LOVE THEM. also breakfast w sugu is my favorite concept ever and him being a music lover is the realest thing ever <3333

BUT THE KISSES I CRIEDDDDDD the stsg kiss….. sugu literally being awestruck by his hot s/os. i can’t believe him. AND THE SMOKEY KISS WITH SHOKO the way i would fold instantly…… sashisu/reader polycule could save lives i think. it’s also so fitting that it’s sugu and reader who insist on making it official phdkdjdj

HELPPPP NOT THE USA 😭😭😭 jumpscare…. BUT THAT’S SOO HEARTBREAKING sashisu crying :((((((( it hurts so bad bc i don’t think any of them r the type to cry in front of others. but they just!! can’t help it!!!! AND THE KISSES OHHH THEY’RE THE CUTEST :((((( also sugu’s depression spiral…. he’s the realest

NO BUT I ADOREEEEE THIS CONCEPT i can’t wait to read it all written out whenever you post it!!!! tysm for the good food my beloved i ATE this up. 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

#SORRY AGAIN FOR THE WAIT 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 my brain and i fight for control every single day #BUT THIS IS SOOO GOOD i love sashisu…… save me sashisu………….#they could fix me #ask tag ✩#ashley !! ✩

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nekomimineurosurgery · 1 month

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work today was rly nice even if it was chilly and the dampness of everything gives me sensory issues, i really like the smell of the rain on leaves and dirt :) im on a relaxing bus ride home now to b reunited w my bff after like a whole month!!!!! we r gonna hav a sleepover... shes my favorite. we have sleepovers just how I like them! she smokes a lot with me and we do eachothers makeup and do art and watch silly videos. im gonna make her a really tasty dinner :3 i didnt have my own place for a long time so on top of missing her, im just rly happy to host her for once ^_^

#blablabla im sorry if im talki ngf too mu ch lately :0

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dogcodedcatboy · 4 months

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🤝 💕 !!

thank u for sending an ask! <3 <3 <3

these are both v good questions they make me have 2 actually nail down my official Lore....these r gonna be long and ramble-y SOWWY

🤝How did they meet in the first place? What was there first impression of each other?

OK SO...i flipflop all the time on what i want the ''official'' aar/ro lore to look like... aaron working at waystar is more fun plot wise? but like...he would never be hired. he would never be qualified nor would he want to be. man graduated art school w a degree in painting and then just started working as a line cook. he can barely do math. but the coworker dynamic is SO FUN...AU perhaps

i think the more Real and True answer is it that they have to meet by chance somewhere. like roman chillin at a bar (like that scene in the finale oughh....) and like, aaron is there cruising bc of course he is. and he strikes up a convo w roman. they have Excellent banter, hit it off well, incredibly cringefail attempted hookup ensues, aaron is like' ??? what was that this guy is so weird lol' but still texts him afterwards anyway...

FIRST IMPRESSIONS R FUN. aaron wouldnt recognize roman as a public figure IMO (i couldnt pick the son of the guy who runs fox news out of a lineup of rich looking dudes TBH.) he'd be able to tell he was rich by the watch and the whole getup but would probably just think he's a decently wealthy rando? certainly wouldn't assume he's got a 5 bil net worth...not that aaron's gold digging bc he is instantly charmed by romans silliness and wit. (and his stupid handsome face. WHATEVER)

roman has no clue what to make of aaron at first glance other than he's Tall, Hot and he's covered in tattoos. aaron's super cocky and really quick to match roman's energy. i think he'd be a little bit intimidated but right in that roman sweetspot where he is scared but definitely also into it.

💕Who confessed first and how? Did it go as planned or did shenanigans ensue?

also thoinking rlly hard abt this one...i dont think roman could conceivably confess first (although i think he catches real feelings first...that is another question though). it would kind of have to be aaron. they're both pretty avoidant tho. and it definitely would involve shenanigans...the slowest slowburn of all time where they both deny anything other than physical attraction despite the fact that they like. text every day and go on 'dates' and literally dont shut up abt eachother. perhaps a drunken confession later retracted and then un-retracted. theyre just dumb and pine over eachother for a long time when they could just date the only obstacles r just mutual stupidity (and roman's internalized homophobia and whole family situation BUT thats different.)

#asks #lore #cent 🚀

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himejoshikomaeda · 1 year

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trans girls r so cool like. As a trans boy ill talk to trans girls and they just fucking UNDERSTAND !!!! LIKE!! ive faced a lotta ostracization in queer circles for kink discourse shit and transfems welcomed me when i was in a really hurt place and understood that hurt!!! and i cant imagine a more kind and lovely group of people and im!! being mushy but like!! trans people truly do understand each other if we simply bother to!! Seeing callouts and transfem v transmasc discourse pisses me off because we should all be kissing and sucking eachother silly!! meow meow!!

unironically i completely agree with you. there is so much needless division in these circles; it’s genuinely kinda heartbreaking. the amount of anger and hatred trans people can have for their own trans siblings is honestly pretty shocking. i don’t know, i guess i wouldn’t get it…? i keep writing and deleting stuff because i do have a lot to say on this subject, but so much of it is *nuanced* that i worry about not making my point correctly, haha…

personally, i really, REALLY love talking to people of all kinds (with some obvious boundaries politically). the most beautiful thing about humanity to me is how different we all are from one another. i've been having a lot of fun lately meeting new people here and talking about various things with my mutuals and stuff!!

in any case, i’m really happy that you were able to find solace with transfems, anon. they really are the most welcoming people i can think of (even if some of them are justifiably cautious around non-transfems, they’re still worth getting to know >w<).

also you should so totally dm me off anon cuz you seem like a fun person to talk to :3

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babydrummer · 11 months

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ok ok hobie headcanons.

1. Spider web tattoo across the left side of his stomach/ribcage, stick n poke ofc

2. His teeth r all messed up (British + homeless for a period)

3. You say you want a piercing and he materializes with a lighter a needle and alcohol

4. Is very touchy and affectionate even w friends but in a casual way. In an "I'm putting my legs across you now" way. Helps that he's very Long.

5. I mean we saw how he was with mayday so. I think he fucking loves kids. And is great w them because he's gentle and silly and listens to them like they're ppl. Peter B. most definitely would have him babysit mayday.

6. Absolute besties with Pav and they get in SOOO much trouble doing dumb shit together

7. Believes he should be allowed on the roof of any building

YAAAAA !!! he def either got this juuuust before he became a spider & was like. ah. ironic. or he got it right after he became a spider. his silly little brain comping with the effects of the spider bite -> "god i could make a sick tattoo out of this"

2. ofc ofc. british People

3. SOOOO real. ive never gotten a piercing this way i would die for one by hobs....

4. REAAL he is so long..... drapes himself over every available corner slings himself over the shoulders of his besties......

5. HE LOVES KIDS i think he loves tweens too (im projecting) but this man will See an edgy 13 yr old listening to nightcore & mcr and be like. yes. a new Best Friend.

6. quite possibly the most canon thing EVER they are friends and they love to pretend-hate eachother . they have Opposite Music Tastes and they argue about it CONSTANTLY

7. as he SHOULD BE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#.mine

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ohimsummer · 3 months

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hi summer bb! hope your having a very happy vday pooks! 𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒

curious about: 🎁😘🎸

HI HI BABES 🫶🏾 HOPE UR VALENTINE’S DAY IS ❤️❤️❤️ TOO

🎁— do you like to be surprised? does your f/o?

it depends on the surprise tbh….if it’s a surprise party or smthg w a big group of ppl then nawr, but if it’s like I come home and there’s balloons and gifts and chocolates everywhere and it’s more private then YES absolutely <3

it’s kind of hard to surprise either of them, stsg are very perceptive so usually they’ll know if something’s up but they won’t go out of their way to ruin the surprise for themselves :> satoru does like being surprised, babygirl loves some excitement or just the thought of ppl trying to surprise him even if his shock will be fake </3 for suguru it depends on who’s doing the surprising but in general he’s pretty okay with them hehe

😘— pda — yay or nay?

for satoru this is NAWT even a question, he will kiss me randomly all over the face and give those dramatic ‘mmmmWAH’ kisses on the cheeks or lips but it’s fine (bc sometimes I’ll do it back. we enable eachother it’s okay). he is very blatant and obvious bc duh why shouldn’t ppl know we r the best couple in the world :3

suguru is ofc more lowkey—hands on the waist or sneakin me kisses. if he wants to be Annoying and Silly he’ll bite me but I AM going to bite back so he uses this move sparingly (I’ll bite him anyway idc). idk if it counts but also puts his chin on top of my head and hugs me from behind but he’s like my own personal teddy bear so I can’t complain <3

🎸— song of the evening for you and your f/o?

I’m gonna answer this as if it’s the song playing in the bg of our date night montage LOL

satoru — Always Forever (Cults)

suguru — Something About You (Dent May + Eyedress)

stsg — Video Games (The Type Professionals version)

#‘something about you’ is such a suguru song idc :3 #I picked these songs (a little) CAREFULLY there was actual thought put in lmao #.𖥔 summy answerz .ᐟ ๋࣭ ⭑#⋆⑅˚₊ hi kali .ᐟ #˗ˏˋ summy playz.ᐟ ˎˊ˗#⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ summy is thinking . . . ｡⋆

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starlight-writes-stuff · 3 years

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Can I request how the feral boys would ask you/ what they would do for your first time sleeping over as their girlfriend? That sounds weird but I hope you know what I mean lol. I love your writing by the way!

hi friend , and thank u ! i appreciate it <3 this is a super cute idea and i had a lot of fun writing it ,,,,, im so soft for them i can't . xoxoxoxoxo , starlight

AYO LOOK AT THESE : the smallest bit of smut but overall fluff ! soft feral boys content , come get yall juice

reblogs are always appreciated !!! <3

dream

wouldn’t be planned tbh , you’d been at his place all day and you’re both too tired to drive

you’d start to call an uber and clay would turn your phone over

“you could… stay here, if you want?”

it was a no brainer

of course you’d stay with him

clay would be so excited , smiling through his sleepy haze

he’d finally get up from his computer just to shower you with kisses all over your face

he’d tackle you back onto his bed , his soft , silly kisses turning into lingering, hard kisses

all teeth and tongue and his hands all over you

he’d get one of his legs between yours, shuddering at the way you’d whine into his mouth

his hands would make their way down to your hips

he’d grind your hips down on him , your sleepiness only making you more sensitive

you bet your ass that he’d make you cum just from grinding on his thigh

he lives in a constant state of horny™ even when he’s tired

clay would be so cocky at how he’d made you finish , doing virtually nothing

but he would go so soft at the way you were exhausted after that , yawning and rubbing your eyes

‘baby’ , ‘love’ , ‘pretty girl’

so affectionate

you could’ve fallen asleep just like that but clay makes you get up and change

“baby , you don't want to sleep in your clothes”

“sleep in mine instead”

you would just grumble back at him until he would physically lift you out of bed

clay would help you out of your clothes

he’d put you in his sweats and a giant dream hoodie

just incase sap walked in for some reason

doesn't want him seeing any of the goods™

he’d carry you to the bathroom and find an extra toothbrush

clay would absolutely try to talk to you while brushing his teeth and the two of you would laugh s o hard at each other trying to talk with mouths full of toothpaste

again , he would pick you up and carry you back to his bed , shutting the door behind the two of you

“don't you want to say goodnight to sap?” “no :)”

the two of you would fall onto his bed and be asleep within 10 minutes , completely tangled in each other

he talks in his sleep

but you snore

so its even

☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁

george

soft george my beloved

he’d probably plan your guys first ‘sleepover’

he would want to make it special , and definitely do something memorable

george would bring it up to you like a week before

he’d practically invite you like it was a birthday party :,)

i can't

he’d make reservations for a nice dinner before and get all dressed up

george would pick you up and hold your hand on the console

he’d open all the doors for you

he'd pull out your c h a i r

yall would definitely be cracking jokes all throughout dinner in the middle of this fancy restaurant

george would ABSOLUTELY knock his silverware off the table at some point

you would have to fight to not spit your drink out , laughing so hard

he’d skip on desert at the restaurant and take you to dairy queen or something

it would be the two of you in your fancy attire , sitting outside some tiny ice cream parlor

looking at eachother like you were the only two people on earth

yall are in L O V E

once you two got home george would carry your overnight bag in

he would change immediately

bc he h8’s fancy clothes

but wanted to dress up for you

after you guys changed into pajamas , you’d stay up talking for hours

he’d tell you stories of him and all the feral boys

you’d tell him stupid things you did as a kid

the two of you would want to make the most of the extended time you had together and stay up until like 2 in the morning

george’s voice would get all low and raspy from talking for so long

you’d fall asleep on the couch together when you physically couldn’t hold your eyes open anymore

george would wake up when the sun started shining through the blinds

he would carry you up to his bed

then promptly fall back asleep with you in his arms

☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁

sapnap

snapmap my love .

this man doesn’t plan shi t

it would be very spur of the moment , the two of you laughing at some joke that he made when he’d grab your hand suddenly v serious

“will you sleep with me tonight?”

he’d look so earnest while asking that and you would BURST into laughter

it would take nick a hot sec to realise what he’d said and once he did . he would simply . disintegrate .

he would be so dramatic about it too

“i was trying to be romantic ! stop laughing at me !”

and you would just sit there , laughing so hard that you couldn’t produce noise anymore , just silent wheezes

you would start to cry and nick would pOUT

you would just nod , literally unable to produce words

but sap would brighten up at that

“so you’ll stay the night?”

once you got control of yourself , the two of you continued on doing what you were doing

it was like a normal day other than the fact that it ,,,, wouldn’t end

you two watched movies and played minecraft all day , being lazy together

you’d doordash dinner or order pizza or something so you didn’t have to leave the house

he’d have to stream and you would just chill , eating pizza in bed

once it became apparent that the stream was gonna last longer than planned , you would quietly come up behind him and drop a kiss on his cheek

he’d grin at you but be confused ???

you’d text him so your voice wouldn’t pop up on stream

‘gonna take a shower / keep myself busy’

he’d text back a single ‘👍🏼’

sapnap texts like a dad and NO ONE can tell me otherwise

you’d shower and get dressed , then wander down to the kitchen trying to find something to do

scavenger hunt™ for cookie ingredients

you’d bake his favorite and surprise him with a warm cookie im s o f t

the SMILE that would cross his face my god

he would feel so loved

he’d mute stream to thank you, putting his hands around your waist and burying his face into your stomach

you k n o w he’d find some way to end stream early after that , wanting to be with you

the two of you would finish off all the cookies , watching scary movies together

he’d hold you when you jump at all the spooky shit

you’d do the same for him bc sap is baby

chat . i'm kinda scared . lowkey .

you were both half asleep by the time you made your way back up to his room

you’d be lights out the minute your head hit the pillows

and he’d be big spoon

☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁

karl

karl would probably ask you that day , texting you before you’d even come over to ask if you would stay the night

you two had technically slept over before , but never at karl’s place (usually pulling all nighters with the feral boys on stream or with the beast crew)

you can not tell me . that karl . would not build a fort . with you .

and he would 100% go all out with it

he’d get lights to string up on the inside (the twinkle ones for sure)

he would get a fuckton of pillows and the softest blankets he can find and pile them in

karl would essentially make a nest for the two of you

you’d spend the first hour alone sharing soft kisses and cuddling so close that you weren't sure where you ended and karl began

he’d hold you , letting you lay on his chest and listen to his heartbeat

you’d talk about everything and nothing at all , just wanting to hear each other’s voices

until someone’s stomach growled

he’d laugh until he couldn't breathe

you had tears rolling down your face , your stomach hurting from the giggles

he’d either take you to get food before or doordash your favorite

because neither of you can cook blESS

you’d pick out cute , matching pajamas for your first official night together

but

he’d end up giving you his clothes to sleep in

because he likes you wearing his stuff

and it's more comfortable than your fancy pajamas

he’d cover his eyes and face a blanket/wall while you were changing

the only time either of you would leave the fort would be for more snacks or to go to the bathroom

karl would bring his laptop in and turn in a movie as you two were settling in for the night

(some super dumb kids movie)

(my brain immediately went to the lorax)

(i’ll see myself out)

and he’d stay awake until you fell asleep, your face buried into his t-shirt

it made his heart so full that you felt safe enough to fall asleep with him

he’d play with your hair and trace over your features as soft as possible

because you're just so beautiful when you’re asleep ??

karl murmurs how much he loves you , everything that he loves about you while he knows you can't hear it

he’d drift off with you still in his arms, his lips pressed to the top of your head in a sweet, gentle kiss

and the two of you would stay like that the entire night , keeping each other warm

im so soft for him

can u tell

karl jacobs my love

☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁

quackity

listen

everyone writes big q as a stupid dumb dummy

and while he can be that at some times

this man would be so fucking thoughtful ??? when it came to his girl ?????

you literally can't tell me otherwise .

much like gogy he would plan something special

but like

he can COOK yall

he’d make you a nice ass dinner

and set up a picnic in the backyard

he’d light candles and make it all fancy

literally it would be a scene out of a movie

once you finished eating dinner the two of you would watch the sunset

he’d play guitar and sING FOR YOU

you’d stay outside soaking in the heat even after the sun had gone down

stargazing for as long as you could

alex would put his arm around you and have you lay on his chest

you’d listen to his heartbeat while you pointed out the big dipper

he’d make up his own constellations aljidhkuvgfhadj

you two would only go inside because you were being eaten alive by mosquitos

one of you would play music off your phone and yall would slow dance in the kitchen

he would repeatedly tell you how much he loved you , pressing tender kisses to your neck , your jaw

until a fucking ad would play

and alex would just lose his shit

he would laugh so hard he’d ipad kid cough

then you would simply ascend

the two of you would be laying on the kitchen floor absolutely D Y I N G of laughter

you’d stay there for a while , trying to recover

by the time you did , your ribs were sore from all the giggles

alex would pick you up and throw you over his shoulder , walking you up to bed

he’d suplex you onto the mattress

the two of you are children around each other tbh

that would lead to a wrestling match

until you’d found your way onto his lap , pinning him by his wrists

w h e w

the way that man would kiss you after that ? bye im gone

lets just say by the time he was finished you would both be exhausted

he’d tell you how pretty you were , how good you did

the two of you would fall asleep with tangled limbs , half kissing

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mooswords · 3 years

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OKAY MOO, I’M CURRENTLY READING UR FIC “Home” AND I’M— THE END OF THE FIRST PART WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. “he always comes home” -> IT’S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL CONTRAST TO THE BEGINNING!!! he gets lost in his OWN fields, and that’s saying something. however, despite that, the reader still being reassured (or as much as she can reassure herself) that he always comes home = he has the red string to BRING HIMSELF BACK TO THE READER = ALWAYS COMING HOME. I’M!!!! and i love the silly banter that opened the story. aLso HIS HESISTATION OVER TELLING THE READER THE JOB HE WAS ASSIGNED... BECAUSE HE WAS WORRIED ABT THE READER.... AKDKSKKSKS. the fact he didn’t accept the offer immediately DESPITE being so in love with the sea and waited for reader’s permission is such a SMALL thing, but when you describe his love for the sea as superior, that action shows he loves the reader even more and i just- SLKDKAKDKSK. i might be over-reading and i apologise if i do bUT DO COMMENT ON IT THANK U!! 🤩💜 - ava

u sent me these eons ago and i promise i wasnt ignoring you ive just been working like 10 hour days and i am Exhausted 😭😭 but all of these messages legitamately give me life, i am so incredibly grateful! <3 im so so glad you enjoyed this fic!! and you are NOT OVERREADING I LOVE TO SEE YOUR INSIGHTS!!!! it makes me fall back in love with the fic all over again! <3

i am SO glad that him always coming home comes through! because it gets kinda dire in the middle of the fic so i wanted there to be that hope at the back of your mind that knew he always came home. but i wanted you to be stressed about it still so :) and silly banter is my favourite part of writing this guy, i had so much fun with it alskdf.

and ok i love u, you got everything i was trying to do there <33 like i was struggling to find the balance between her reluctance and supportiveness. thats a fun (and tricky) thing about established relationship fics i find... theres that depth of understanding that can make the interactions more interesting, but so much of it is unspoken. it was a good challenge! so its so GOOD to hear that it vibes right hehe

THE WAY KUROO PLAYS WITH THE STRING!!! THAT WAS SUCH A FOND MOMENT OMG AKDKSKDK. and it’s so interesting that it appeared before kuroo even left 👀👀👀

she already missed him 🥺🥺 i originally had him tug on her hair and then i went!!! wait!!!! we can do better than that!!!!!!!!

READER IS LOST WITHOUT KUROOO!!!! AKDKSKSK and i also love the little addition where despite it being a POUT, she holds it close to her heart. with the context of their banters + that little scene, it just shows me how much each appreciate every ounce of the other party which makes me SO SO SO SOFT AKDJSKDKSK. and then hitting me with the scene where reader is eating a meal alone??? a punch in the gut. when she realised she’s alone I TOO remembered that kuroo is gone and that softness established in the previous scene is sUCKED OUT—ASKDKSKSKSK.

im just a little obsessed with the little things and gestures that make u fall in love with someone? like the specific way my friend twirls her pen while were in lectures, or how my dad has that one little smile when hes amused himself with his own joke... and for that to be a last lifeline for her to hold on to before he leaves :’))) I JUST LOVE EST RELATIONSHIP FICS OK?!

hehehe yes im sorry about that puch to the gut oops 😇 that was a scene i had super clear in my head before i started - the bright, bright string against the relative drab of the table and room.

i’m at the part where reader gets lost and let me tell u, the fact they have a WAY to communicate via string pulling alone is SO ENDEARING and just subtly hints they have been at this whole red string thing for AGES (or at least enough to form such an understanding). that’s ADORABLE and really strengthens the bonds they have together

yessssssssssss as soon as i thought of this idea i knew it had to be an established relationship. i have it in my brain they have been married maybe 2-3 years?? i am such a sucker for unspoken understanding relationships :’)

“You push hurriedly through the crowd, ducking between market stalls and wagons. There’s no string to follow, but you don’t need it to find him today.” THIS SENTENCE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL in the context of the entire story. and what a perfect way to describe/show the reader that it’s THE DAY. MOO, you’re really serving such great kuroo x reader stories please continue AHHAHA

this entire fic was so self indulgent please dshlfkljadsb but im glad u like this line!! i tend to try visualise the scene like a movie first? and then write it, and this was also one of the first scenes that was super clear in my brain :D

402 DAYS!!!! I SEE WHAT U DID THERE 👀👀 also, is this is a little hint to how u had to wait until the end to see timeskip kuroo? HAHAHA that wld be adorable

WAIT YO THATS CLEVER? I DIDT EVEN- ava when i say that is a COMPLETE coincidence... i literally just picked a number that was longer than 365 days... breaking news i am a secret genius JKBDSCN

i also really liked the “in-between”: of reader’s life without kuroo. u can really see how integrated they are to each other’s lifestyle, and not only that, the scene where reader handles a twin’s birth (to me) strengthens how they’re reallllly soulmates. there is a low chance that kuroo knew reader was in a desperate situation, yet he pulled on the string at the time reader needed it. it’s just—telapathy but not really + soulmate system = SOULMATES. do i make sense? and i really love the details, like how we can trace back kuroo’s scar to a moment of reader’s life in the fic. putting it at the end sort of makes me reflect on their situations that happened simultaneously yet not really. it sort of fills me in with this,,, space. that the earth is so wide. i understand deeper what reader means by “oh he’s going to be gone for so long”. it’s just. wow. the earth is so big yk.

YES YOU MAKE TOTAL SENSE!!! it's such a lovey way of looking at it :') can they communicate and understand eachother like this cuz theyre soulmates? or just because they love each other and have learnt the other inside out?? hhnn this is why i love soulmate aus, theres so much to pull apart!!!

and ok yes on the topic of how big the earth is... im so glad u mentioned this, its my favourite part because (not to get like... super sappy or anything) i was writing this through the toughest stages of our second lockdown. our restrictions got to the point we werent allowed further than 5km from out homes, so writing about freedom and big spaces and exploration of far off places was such a nice escape for me :’) this fic has ended up very close to my heart. (plus i was reading @/w-yuren’s hq0819 series at the time so i had travel and adventure on the brain hehe)

THE ENDING.... THE ENDING.... THE WAY KUROO ASKED READER TO KI** HIM—IT’S LIKE THE KUROO IN MY HEAD YESSSSS. Gosh, this line too “when he kisses you he tastes like the sea; like salt-spray and dry rations and freedom.” may i have a director’s cut abt it :3 AND AKDJSKSK. i really love how the string appeared even tho they were together (the scene before kuroo docked on the ship) and once again, they are together, but none of them are lost because they r together-together. do i make sense? am i overreading things??? again, i have to comment on the banter. it’s simply amazing. kuroo’s replies are so,, KUROO, and they are filled with such FONDNESS I’M SO AKDKSKSK.

IM SO GLAD HE VIBES THANK U I THINK THE FONDNESS IS MY BIAS SHOWING BUT SHHHHH ;P you have picked one of my favourite lines out heheh it was one that just flowed out and wasnt one i particularly had to think about which is always nice. but i think it is a combo of me trying to be fancy lol and me being a huge fan of fantasy-books-set-on-ships. think like explorers or pirates, some rag tag bunch who have to set off on some quest and come back with some of that wildness imbued in their very being... yeah this line was definitely born from me Yearning i think :P

ooo do you mean the wedding scene? that was me trying to hit the ‘feeling lost in a crowd’ idea. you know when youre surrounded by people and joy and laughter and you just feel very small and disconnected? that.

ALSO READER’S DYANAMICS WITH KARASUNO CHARACTERS IS ADORABLE AKDKSKSKK. the festival scene was such a breather and it was adorable to see her interact with those characters. it feels like a snapshot in her life i simply adore that :3

ahh yea! i wanted her to have a life, you know? shes not the type to mope around, like life goes on. that doesnt mean she doesnt miss him oof but theres a whole community around to support her too!! and im very fond of takeda in this scene :’) he takes care of his crows <3

I RAMBLED SO BAD BUT THANK U AGAIN LOVELY I CANT EXPLAIN HOW AMAZING THESE ARE TO RECIEVE <3

#ava <3 #i know u are offline rn but i hope everythings going well with u!#i cant believe ur out here validating all my anxieties oof <333

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bloodymiso · 12 days

Text

★ matchup exchange

— with @imjustabeanie

a/n: sorry this took a little long:3 hope you enjoy, i made sure to match the length with the average length of the exchange matchups you write!

i ship you with.. alhaitham :3

ygs would be a literal POWER couple. like i literally do not care what you say “b-but he’s too distant!!” shhhh😾😾

youre one of the few people he actually enjoys spending time with. library dates, museum dates, picnic dates you name it. im thinking ygs met in your early akademiya days. not canon but i have a feeling he was a little mischievous when he was younger, sneaking in and out of the library at 3am, climbing up large trees for peace and silence to look out onto the forest. he acts like he “doesn’t understand” acts of romance but bfr this man would set up the most sick ass dates ever.

hes not the type to make hand made gifts but this man will 10/10 write you letters, written in pretty cursive, always a small heart at the end of your name.(he “thinks its cheesy” yet continues to put it) *cough* sometimes with some *cough* items for *cough cough* experiments *cough*

more of a research guy than an experiment dude but ygs would work on projects together. he’ll do most of the research parts, you’ll do most of the..hands-on activities. about your childhood dream, i dont expect alhaitham to be..accepting of it. but—i quote, “from a research point of view, that would be..interesting.” procrastinating? that man will shove you out of that.

a. hey, love you have a project due tomorrow. r. how the fuck did you know that?

SPARRING oh my god ygs would spar together you cant change my mind. idk what kind of weapon you’d wield but if you wouldnt wield one then hand-to-hand combat works too.

im just gonna admit it, both of you would be kind of slow when it came to opening up. this is cheesy but ygs would have met through a school project idc what you say. you always spotted him in the library, was he hot? fuck yeah. would you admit that? no. im thinking it took you guys a long time to even get on a first-name basis.

alhaitham understands being misunderstood, he gets it. he masks his feelings, pushes others away even. this man is touch starved like seriously. he acts all “mr stoic” but this man could sob his ass of with you. even if you cant open up back, he’ll open up to you. i can imagine your relationship lasting a pretty long time(maybe up until,, yk). sure you guys would argue here and there but never to the point that pride would stop ygs from apologizing to eachother. he always knows when he’s in the wrong.

i always see those fanfics w chars reading to their s/o but like bfr who the hell likes being read to. like?? its so boring just let me read it on my own. rather than that i can imagine you two on the couch, as you read your silly/pos books and he reads something on like idk trees?? he’d probably ask you to teach him one of the languages you know:3

ygs probably wouldnt have announced your relationship. the first time alhaitham ever really said “yeah this is my lover” to someone else except you was when kaveh dropped the pile of books in his hands seeing a girl on alhaitham’s bed(he screamed like a seagull).

k. ALHAITHAM!!!the—there’s a girl on your bed! a. yeah that’s my girlfriend kaveh pauses k. wait—girl friend with a space or no space? a. no space

after that kaveh blabbed to like half of sumeru that “alhaitham has a golly gosh girlfriend!!!!”

other possible matches. albedo, tighnari, dottore & baizhu

(><) wanna support? reblog with tags pookies!!

#matchups #matchup exchange #match up #genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact matchup #genshin matchup #genshin impact matchups #⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ aki matches?!

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0n3-h4lv3 · 6 years

Text

10:17pm 9/7/18

FUCK yall. Heres some things that *i* have 2 say. @ morgan : i love u so much !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U literally deserve every good thing in this entire world. You are so loving and bubbly and positive that it is Infuriating to me that you have to face any hardship whatsoever. You dont deserve that, but you are strong enough to push through it and to make the most of any bad situation, and im SO excited for your future and the amazing things you will accomolish. Youve been my best bud for like ??????? 12 years almost ??????? How badass is that !!!!!!! U are the one bitch on this planet that i truly can tell everything. Nothing on this blog would suprise ir shock u, like a bitch knows whats up bc. God i rlly truly can 100 percent relax in ur company. SOMETIMES i still worry abt dumb shit but then i tell u anyway and it works out ok. Im mad greatful for that. Even with my other besties, i think id go mad without u and our friendship. I dont always send u the most responsive texts, but i DO think abt u every day and i LOVE u 2 bits and bits and bits. I wanna have sleepovers again. And tell bad stories abt marvel and folklore characters in the dark until we pass out laughing at eachother. I miss being kids. I dont think there was a point in my life so far where i have Truly been blissful or care free, i wasnt built that way, but memmories of u and me playing and creating and laughing together are truly the happiest i have. If not for you I would have killed myself three years ago in my bedroom after school, that day that i couldnt stop crying ? I went home and i tore at my shirt and i screamed and sobbed and slammed my head into the floor, lamenting how unlovable i was, but i really did have something that kept me from giving up, and it was you! I know thats heavy, which is why im putting it here and not actually telling you, but even though liv was my big fp at the time, you were rlly my reason to live. I just pray that i can do something meaningful for you, to repay you for being there for me before i die.

Finny! : BUD!!!! Ur actually. An angel but irl. Like sometimes i see you and stop breathing for a second. And im not even talking abt that ur like hot or whatever, its like. Gosh, finn you just have this presence ? And you are simultaniously so forgiving and understanding while taking Absolutely no shit and i respect that hard. Its like rlly hard to be uncomfortable in your presence. I still manage to sometimes, because god made me and was like "yeah this bitch will never see rest of any form", but like compared to the discomfort i feel around Most people, the discomfort i sometimes feel around you is WAY less and very warm asfjgja. I wish i got more hugs from you, i know thats like Mad stupid, but theyre. Validating and wonderful and they mean a lot and feel rlly good so more of those would be cool. I miss laying w u on the couch and watchin horror movies !! I know that was just like a month ago and its not like we cant do it again, but with how busy we are and how busy Everything is im very scared that we actually wont get to, or that u dont want to. Anyway im rambling, but u DO mean the world to me, and im so so sorry if im too much or overbearing. I dont know if you know how much you mean to me ? If youre on this blog you have an idea but i dont think these posts actually paint it accurately. For the past 10 or so years ive had a pattern of latching on to people, one at a time, and putting "all my eggs in one basket" so to say. It can be a best friend, or romantic interest, or both. But regardless ! This person directly and immediately impacts my emotional state. And rn its you !!! Which sucks a LOT. Bc even outside of my shitty "favorite person" thing, you are very important to me, and your friendship is so important to me. But i havent figured out how to negate or counter the whole fp experience, and so whenever u do anything... that i could interpret as disinterest or disgust or like anything negative, it has a 50/50 chance if sending me into a panic, sometimes a full fledged anxiety attack ! And whenever you show interest or affection or anything positive, it beyond makes my day. And thats. Like weird ? And it sucks even more for you, because if you realized how strongly just the tiniest thing can fuck me up, you wouldnt even want to talk 2 me. You would distance yourself to save urself from the stress and me from the whatever this is. But i know that my brain would just pick someone else as soon as you abandon me, so i have to just keep in my head and to myself until the fp thing moves on, or u abandon me anyway, or whatever. Bc i dont want to lose our friendship. And its ok !! But it makes our friendship more complicated on my end. I unintentionally put so much stock into how u percieve me, and so you not wanting to date me for suoer valid reasons still tears at my heart a lot. Like somethings wrong with me or you dont rlly love me or whatever even tho thats not necissarily the case. Anyway. Ill be ok. I rlly will, this is something i just need to man up about and push through ! Thank u for being such a cool friend :).

MADI !!!: UGH bitch. I do love u. Im sorry im late every time u pick me up in the morning and that i complain so goddamn much. I know its unbecoming but in my defense im feeling pretty rock bottom these days and u r like a cute little ray of sunshine that drinjs too much coffee. You are so. Beautiful okay ? That sounds like bullshit cuz im ur best friend and all. But this is honesty hour. See what i wrote to finn and mj ?? Im not fucking around. Im laying it all bare. This is the post yall will find AFTER i kill myself, so im not gonna LIE to u in it. Could u imagine ??? Anyway point is: you are so beautiful, and you are complex and interesting and Capable okay ? Like ur not a background character or basic or none of that. U feel like u are, and u say ur not pretty or whatever, and its like. The dumbest shit bc if u could only see what Every One Else was getting to look at ? U wouldnt recognize urself. Also. U have an INSANELY kind heart. I cant believe u were ok with me fucking your boyfriend. I cant believe you put up with my drama. You buy me coffee ? You go out 2 lunch with me ?? You seem to take genuine interest in me, and like my company !! Its bananas girl. I dont know how i can be so vile and low and selfish and you still stay by me. I dont believe i deserve it, but ur kinda adimant abt remaining my best friend, so hopefully ill have time to become a better person for you, and 2 return the favor. I love u mads. Like, big time. Ur a rock and roll girl and id do anythin 4 ya <3

Myla !! : buddy. Oh my god. A lot of people r likr "ohh im chaotic good" or "wow shes got such chaotic energy" and its MAD bullshit. But real talk ??? U like... do have such powerful chaotic good energy. Ilysm. Ur smile is Contagious. Actually just seeing u at school makes me smile. Ur company and friendship is such a blessing. ALSO lmao ur so ??? Like coy ?? And cheeky ???? Its mad fun, ur just like a very silly very lovely bud. I know you are Also very depressed and hurting. And i hate that so much. You dont deserve it. Nothing about you has earned it, but like depression doesnt care who earns what ya know ? Anyway ur strong. Likr 4 real, and i want u to know that you can SO overcome it, and u have such a bright future okay ?? I love you ! I KNOW finny loves you! I dont know ur parents that well but they'd be BATSHIT to not totally love you. Having you in my life is like a blessing, and i rlly rlly rlly hope i can repay the good energy some day okay ? I know u dont like talking abt how ur feeling, but if u ever want to, or u think of ANYTHING i can do to help, tell me asap okay ? Bc i will not hesitate to be there 4 u, no matter how big or small.

OKAY @ all of you !!! :

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY !!! IM *SO* GREATFUL YOU ARE ALL IN MY LIFE !!! Literally i cant. Express how important you all are. Im crying and i would Literally die for any one of you. That sounds like a silly thing but it would be. An honor to actually lay down my life for the sake of any of u guys, tho im not sure how the situation would arise lol. I feel like i owe y'all so much. I also know that if i am going to get better, i cant do it alone, and i might end up asking more from u guys :(. I hate that, but im hoping you can understand and allow me to return the favor somehow someday.

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pixie-daydream · 7 years

Text

i haven’t ranted in a while but BOYS ARE FUCKING ANNOYING and i just need to rant okay

first of all i feel like we need some backstory in case anyone actually reads this. this is gonna be long as fuck but I’M REALLY IRRITATED EVEN A YEAR LATER so i just need a place to let it loose so i’m not reeling over it in my head. a year ago at the end of my senior year of college i befriended two guys, one of which i had a mutual crush on, the other i saw strictly as a friend. all three of us were friends. it was cool. it was fun, they were funny, we became friends in such a short amount of time but got so close so fast. the three of us hung out a few times in person and also had a groupchat going, whatever. me and my crush started talking just us and that’s a whole different story but yknow, that whole thing happened and we started liking eachother more and more, it was getting pretty deep, we’d facetime-sleepover a few times, blah blah blah, met up to hang out/whatever you wanna call it, it was cute, it was magical, it was a great time, it didn’t end up working out, but it’s an important part of this story. so that’s just some backstory. so while me and my crush are crushing on eachother, me and our friend are also talking outside of the groupchat... basically they both started talking to me on the side and the groupchat died. interesting. but anyways... MY FRIEND is joking around calling me his wife bc he gave me this fake ass plastic ring at a party and clearly i thought it was just a joke. it’s something i’d joke around about, like “haha you gave me a ring, we’re married obvz”... i didn’t really think anything of it cus it really wasn’t that deep. so i THOUGHT that was all just a joke between friends but then he started getting deep with it and telling me i’m such a beautiful person and any guy would kill and be lucky to have a girl like me and all this other shit, how he wanted to be with me forever and it would be us together forever and he’d die a better man having known me... all this weird shit. now DUMB ASS ME being the insecure person that i am honestly just thought he was being nice like i didn’t think he was being serious i thought he was just being a nice friend and saying something nice to another friend but in the back of my mind i was like “oh shit what if he likes me” cus yknow, you never know. but like i said i was insecure as fuck and my confidence level was so low it was almost nonexistent so i was like yeah he prob doesn’t like me, i didn’t even think my crush liked me back at that point but ANYWAYS i digress....... sooner or later my friend starts getting weirdly jealous of literally anyone i hung out with, guy friends, girl friends, it didn’t matter he was just mad that i hung out with other people solo and only hung out with him in a group setting. so i was like wtf chill out it’s just convenient for me to hang w other people bc they’re close by whereas he lived way further away and ALSO, i knew him for less amount of time so for me w the social anxiety in MOST instances it takes me a while to get comfortable w someone on that level to hang out just us two, but he never understood that.... anyways...... he found out me and my crush facetimed and again got weirdly jealous, and was like ‘clearly u like him better than me bc we never facetime’ which 1st of all HE NEVER ASKED ME TO FT HIM, second of all he has a fucking android so 4+5=48 wtf how were we supposed to facetime u fucking moron. but clearly my crush told him we facetimed cus nobody else knew at the time, so clearly the two of them were talking about me. and my friend was asking if i had a crush on him, which at the time i didn’t really wanna say bc i wasn’t sure if my crush liked me back and i didn’t want it getting back to him so i just played it coy.... but it was obvious i had a crush on the kid so my friend could really just do the math. but my friend was being so weird about it pulling the “marriage” card saying if we’re married why am i cheating on him AND HONESTLY ONCE AGAIN I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST JOKING AROUND yet at the same time he was really accusing me over absolutely nothing and i was like oh shit is he actually mad........ and then eventually he’s like “chill it’s just a joke” but he would consistently say “whoever makes you happy even if i dont understand why you like him” and shit like that. anyways, he knew i had a crush on the guy and he knew the guy had a crush on me, from the inception of his crush on me apparently, and said MOST of their conversations were about me. everyone thought the two of them were like bffed out, yet apparently most of their convos were about me... ok.... anyway. point being, he knew how much we liked eachother. fast forward a couple months, over the course of the summer me and my friend were still friends, we’d hang out like once a week in a big group of people but we were always fighting. it was like fighting between siblings kinda that’s what it reminded me of but would play it off as a joke, but he’d still pull the husband/wife joke thing and i’d go along with it cus again i’m an idiot and even tho it was starting to get weird i didn’t wanna look like i was taking it seriously since most of the shit he said was a joke anyway. for example, around this time i was starting to sense something odd going on with my crush... eventually things were starting to fizzle out which was devastating to me but again that’s a whole different story i don’t really need to get into. i mentioned to my friend how i was kinda worried i was gonna lose some people in my life, bc if i pick up on the slightest thing that’s off i go into panic mode, and my friend was like ‘so screw everyone else. it’s just me and you. and since i’m your husband you should let me take you out on a date.’ and i was like ????? wtf........ i dont wanna go on a fucking date with you. i was like ‘i mean, we can hang out’ and he goes ‘so date?’ and i was like ‘no...’ and he’s like ‘why not??? why wont you let me take you out??? i thought we were best friends. best friends can’t go out together and hang out?” LIKE. LITERALLY. THIS IS WHAT HE WAS SAYING. and i said i’d hang with him but he always would try and turn it into a date and he goes “chill, do you actually think i’d take you out on a romantic date? i’m not about that life.” ??????????? alright, s you’re just joking then? EVEN THOUGH YOU CONSTANTLY BRING UP WEIRD SHIT IN A ROMANTIC WAY ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME. it’s just a joke tho. alright. so anyway, the day after this happens, my crush mentioned my friend wanted us all to go to the beach or something, so clearly they were speaking to eachother at that point. and then my friend texted me at the same time asking if me and my crush were an item yet..... and at that point i still never outright admitted i liked him so i was panicking bc i knew they were talking about me and i was like why the fuck is he asking me this........... anyway i said no and my friend said he was gonna “hook it up” and tell him to ask me out to which i said WHY because I DON’T WANT/NEED OTHER PEOPLE MEDDLING IN MY LIFE WITHOUT ME ASKING. just a side note i’ve never been in a relationship i’m VERY new to someone even having actual reciprocated feelings for me and i really really REALLY REALLY liked my crush a lot... like i adored him and definitely could have fallen for him truly but i did not want anything to mess it up, just wanted to let it evolve naturally and let it keep progressing slowly bc i was terrified to lose him and i especially didn’t want this fucking idiot to talk to him for me since i was starting to get sufficiently creeped out by him. so his response was “bc you’d say yes” and i just didn’t respond bc i was so annoyed at that point AND THE FUCKER HAD THE NERVE 3 HOURS LATER TO SAY “why didn’t you text me back? that’s not what best friends do...” tHaT’s NoT wHaT bEsT fRiEnDs Do ??? WHAT KIND OF FUCKING CHILDISH BULLSHIT IS THAT? keep in mind this fucker is like 25 years old yet he pulls cards like that... WTF. anyway. i find it very odd how after that conversation, things with me and my crush started to fizzle out. very odd. i can’t fully blame it on my friend bc in the future i’d found out from my crush that he himself was just........ an idiot, i don’t really know what his issue was but he fucked up on his own.... HOWEVER, i definitely find it sus that my friend was saying he was gonna hook us up or w/e and then suddenly it turned to shit. interesting. ok. so things w my crush were getting weird, i was clearly upset by it and my friend picked up on it and attempted to reassure me that my crush loved me and was obsessed and wasn’t going anywhere, i even asked him if he said anything to him since YKNOW last time i checked, he said he was gonna talk to him about us, yet he claims he didn’t.... #surejan. but bottom line was my friend’s advice to me was “who cares” if my crush isn’t talking to me... when REALLY IT WAS MORE THAN A CRUSH AT THIS POINT, silly me knows now that boys are not to be trusted and just bc they say all this lovey dovey deep stuff to u and make it seem like they truly r falling for u, it might not be the case.... but at the time i really thought we loved n cared about eachother on a way deeper level than just crushing so I WAS OBVIOUSLY RLY UPSET, and for my friend to say to just get over it pissed me off to no end. ESPECIALLY BC HE LITERALLY SAID “i dont get why you like him when he’s nowhere near as interesting as i am.” HE REALLY SAID THAT. MY FRIEND. SAID THAT. AS IF THAT’S GONNA MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER. and i kept saying it’s not that simple i can’t just get over it or move on if he’s being weird and not talking to me as much... he was trying to tell me it was UNHEALTHY for me to be upset if he wasn’t responding to me (to be clear the point wasn’t that he wasn’t answering, it was that after talking nonstop every day all day and building that trust with eachother and being so sweet to eachother, he went from all that to just one word answers and barely talking. like clearly somehting was wrong and he wouldn’t tell me what it was which scared me, THAT is what was upsetting me. i can handle someone not responding. just fyi.) ,,,,,, so my friend would say that was unhealthy yet him getting mad at me and being jealous if i hung out with other people was totally normal??? ok. ALSO, A SIDE NOTE, i have ANOTHER friend, we’ll call him jim for now just so things don’t get confusing..... while all this stuff with my crush was going on, me, my friend, jim, and a few others were hanging out and food was involved so we were on line to get food and jim put some on my plate for me. really not a big deal....... i do that for people all the time and my friends do it for me like it really IS NOT THAT DEEP. YET MY FRIEND TEXTS ME THAT NIGHT SAYING ‘i need to talk to u........... i think u and jim are in a secret relationship or he’s in love with u bc he put food on ur plate for you and u just said thank you and moved on like it was nothing.’ LIKE. HE REALLY. FUCKING. SAID. THAT. !!!!. Guys. help. when i say i laughed for 15 minutes I REALLY WAS ROLLING. this guy was getting heated bc a friend put food on my plate for me. fast forward to my friend having a party, jim was there, a bunch of friends were there and we were drinking so we stayed overnight but everyone had left by morning and i was the only one there. so finally my friend gets to hang out w me one on one for a few hours. we were just shooting the shit, talking, watching tv. whatever. we also talked about my crush and once again my friend was saying to just get over it which pissed me off. i also ended up texting my crush that night bc it’d been a while and i was like freaking out over that, long story short i could tell he really was done with me so from that point on i decided if he wanted to talk to me he can come to me bc i was done looking like a fool and texting him getting 3 second responses and an attitude and making myself crazy and feeling disappointed over it. so not only was my crush no longer talking to me but my friend was also being short in his responses to me from that point as well. and i tried to just be normal about it and keep it lighthearted, talking as usual with the same stuff we always spoke about, but the conversation was like pulling teeth and i was like wtf??? like why is everyone being weird with me not wanting to talk to me? and my friend who knew i was upset over the crush thing was doing it to me as well.. so i was like okay then, guess i’m on my own. a few weeks later, about exactly a year ago, my friend texted me again asking what was up and stuff and asked me out of NOWHERE if i had talked to my crush lately. keep in mind, i literally never speak about my crush or bring him up on my own to my friend bc i know how jealous he gets, if we talk about him it’s bc someone else brought it up.... so i responded saying it’d been 2 weeks but who’s counting cus yknow, I WAS HURT. and my friend goes “well clearly you aren’t over it.” ..... NO SHIT SHERLOCK YOU FUCKING PENDEJO I FREAKING ADORED THE KID AND REALLY LIKE IDK LOVED HIM I GUESS OR WHATEVER, AND GOT SOMEWHERE WITH HIM I NEVER GOT WITH ANYONE LIKE I /NEVER/ FELT THAT WAY BEFORE ABOUT ANOTHER PERSON AND NEVER EXPERIENCED THOSE FEELINGS SO OBVIOUSLY. I WASN’T GONNA BE OVER IT. YOU STUPID FUCK. but anyways... i basically said that to him in nicer words lol and once again he was like get over it.... so i went to bed upset over it cus idek why he brought that up... also keep in mind, my friend and my crush no longer spoke to eachother either. they pretty much stopped talking when the two of them started talking to me one on one if that makes sense... they’d talk here and there but their ‘friendship’ ended when our friendships began. anyways. i woke up the next day and my friend texted me saying “I TALKED TO [insert crushes name here]” ....... EXCUSE ME YOU FUCKING CUNT BAG. WHEN THE HELL DID I ASK YOU TO TALK TO HIM???????? DID I EVER SAY “pls ask him what happened between us”...... NO. I REALLY DIDN’T. SO WHY. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT AND MEDDLE IN MY LIFE ONCE AGAIN? and my friend told me “I don’t need to get into details bc i don’t wanna hurt your feelings, but he said he did not like you anymore and said he was done.” yeah WAY TO SPARE MY FUCKING FEELINGS YOU COCKMOUTH. guys i cannot even begin to explain the emotions at that point i didn’t know whether to be heartbroken or infuriated or both but i was fucking upset let me tell you. i mean, it was pretty obvious my crush was done with me but this was somewhat of an actual confirmation bc at that point i still held out some bit of hope that he might try and talk to me again but clearly it wasn’t happening. so my friend goes “well at least now you know the truth” AS IF HE WAS DOING ME A FAVOR. and then i was really fucking sad and even more depressed than usual, and my friend seemed like he was annoyed with me for still being upset over it... first of all you assface, there’s no time period for how long someone is “allowed” to be sad over something and for ME ESPECIALLY, THE MOST EMOTIONAL PERSON ON EARTH, two weeks is definitely not long enough for me to be sad so you can shut up. but anyway, after that, we really didn’t talk much until the end of that month. i hadn’t heard from my crush either until one day he liked a few of my pictures... i also noticed he and my friend were interacting on social media as well, and that night my friend messaged me for the first time in a while saying he was going to visit our old school and asked if i wanted to come say hi to everyone. he also invited jim. interesting considering they hated eachother but anyway. i found it a BIT peculiar that this was all happening at once but i hadn’t seen my friends in a while so i went, and he “casually” mentioned that “[crush]” wanted to meet up with him so we were meeting up with him or whatever. at this point i was like WTFWTFWTF even tho i had a feeling that was what was gonna happen anyway. but i was really taken aback, cus like, my friend knew how i felt about the situation and how upset i was and i was shocked he didn’t even ask me about it first, but i didnt have much of a choice at this point so... we met up with him and it was so fucking awkward bc he really was gonna pretend like NONE OF WHAT WE HAD OR DID OR SAID OVER THE SUMMER EVER EVEN HAPPENED, and he was being so quiet... i just carried on being normal myself masking the fact that i was having major internal anxiety but if he was gonna act like nothing happened so was i. we met up with our other friends and it was fun, my crush barely spoke to me and my friend also barely spoke to me, they pretty much spoke to eachother the whole time and when i tried to interject or contribute to the convo they’d basically ignore me or just go ‘haha......’ or some shit. so i was really like ???? WHY DID MY FRIEND EVEN INVITE ME IF HE WAS JUST GONNA KNOWINGLY PUT ME INTO A REALLY AWKWARD SITUATION AND NOT EVEN TALK TO ME ALMOST THE WHOLE TIME. and then that night, where i feel like he’d usually have texted me to ask how i felt about the whole situation, he didn’t say shit. THE NEXT DAY THO, MY CRUSH STARTED SNAPCHATTING ME AGAIN and basically was really drunk and trying to get me back, gave me this whole sob story of how he fucked up and as much as i wanted him back obviously knew he prob didn’t mean it... but anyway, the fact that he tried that after seeing me in person and not even talking to me was just weird but i had a feeling he and my friend kinda talked about getting me to see him that day like i feel like it was a premeditated plan. anyways. things w my crush stayed quiet from that point on and so did things w my friend until ANOTHER month later when i sent my friend something that reminded me of him, he was like ‘can we be friends again?’ and i was like yeah we’re not nOT friends....... he was the one who wasn’t rly talking to me anyway so whatever. but we were texting AND WHILE WE WERE TEXTING, I GET A SNAPCHAT FROM NONE OTHER THAN MY CRUSH. i was super fucking confused since i hadnt heard from him since the last time he messaged me and also a little weirded out how they both pop back into my life at tthe same time..... but anyways, just to tie up the crush story, this is when i found out my crush initially stopped talking to me bc he felt like it wasn’t going anywhere (which is bullshit but ok, he clearly just wanted to bang me but i didnt wanna do that without being completely sure that he wasnt gonna just hit it n quit it.... so he quit it before he could even hit it i guess) and claimed we were ‘just talking’ and it ‘never amounted to anything’ which is also bs to me bc it was WAY deeper than just talking so if he wants to pretend like it wasnt that deep he’s an idiot bc he was the one making it deep. but anyways. that’s just a SHORT version of the end of that story (i was devastated i guess i consider that my first real true heartbreak and it took me SO long to finally be okay but y’all don’t worry bc I’M OKAY NOW and i’m happy. i lowkey still miss it sometimes but i’m happy now n he’s happy so like whatever. we’re cool)..... but anyways i feel like i should just wrap that story up before i get to the rest of the whole shit with my friend lol ANYWAYS ........ me and my friend weren’t really talking anymore after that, it’d pretty much be social media liking or comments but that was about it. he would message me every now and again tho to be like ‘why haven’t we talked’ and stuff like that, or if he said he missed me i’d be like ‘i miss you too’ and he’d be like ‘no you don’t.......’ and try to make ME feel guilty for no reason. and for real, our friendship was fun a lot of the time. i did miss it and i missed him too. he was a funny dude and we had a lot of common interests but most of the time i felt like i was doing something wrong or he was constantly trying to make me admit to him that he was my favorite, that i liked him the best, and was just generally possessive and obsessive and weird about it, so why keep that going especially when we had our own lives and shit. come january he wished me a happy new year and when i responded a day later (i didn’t have service) he was like “yeah, we’re not friends anymore....” ??? so wtf ????? i was like ??? he didn’t reply until like a week later saying ‘hey’ bitch what i thought we weren’t friends anymore so wtf. and the thing with me is, if you’re my friend you’re always my friend, i’ll always care even if we haven’t spoken in a while but i’ll always consider you a friend. yet this guy thinks that’s not true if we don’t talk 24/7 apparently. he’d constantly tell me ‘that’s not what real friends do...’ and that type of BS, make ME feel like a shitty friend, yet still hit me up and say hey???? but it was a vicious cycle of him saying hey, me replying thinking maybe it’ll be different and then him just going right back to saying we’re not friends. and that shit was exhausting to me. he’d text me a few times asking if i wanted to work on a movie project with him (he’s in film and i’m an actress) but i was busy with other shit and he wouldn’t take no for an answer but eventually again we stopped talking. so april rolls around and he messages me again. he’s probably jealous cus i was back with all our group of friends again including my crush, and we were all having a good time putting on a musical (i went back to help direct the show after graduating) and my friend clearly has major fomo. but he messaged me on FB asking if he could text me cus he missed me, and yknow THE POLITE THING IS TO JUST SAY I MISS HIM TOO so i said that and he goes ‘no you don’t, but okay...’ and proceeds to text me. WHY BOTHER TEXTING ME IF U THINK I DON’T MISS YOU THEN? jesus fucking christ. so he texts me and i jokingly said it was will smith (don’t ask.... it’s an inside joke and to try and keep it lighthearted i brought it up thinking he’d joke around cus yknow... EVERYTHING IS ‘JUST A JOKE’ TO HIM) and then goes ‘oh i thought i was talking to the girl of my dreams.’ there he goes again bringing it up how much he’s in love with me, he even told me he has dreams of me all the time and was wondering if i had dreams of him too... i was clearly weirded out at this point and just responded sarcastically because WTF. and then he gets mad like “i’m done. i don’t wanna play games anymore but everything is a joke with you ( !!!! are u fucking kidding me my guy), i really do think about you all the time and miss our friendship but you don’t need me anymore, i dream about you all the time, i miss what we had, i’m really sorry.” ????????????????? BITCH. WHAT. THE FLYING. MOTHER FUCKING. FUCK. !!! ???! !!?! !??!?!?!?! he really wanted to accuse ME of playing games all the time? like are u serious..... EVERYTHING’S A JOKE TO ME??? BC EVERY TIME I ASK U IF UR BEING SERIOUS ABOUT SOMETHING UR THE ONE WHO SAYS IT’S JUST A JOKE. i obviously went off on him at that point bc what the fuck ! ur the one who constantly tells me i’m a bad friend yet u still try and talk to me, if i’m such a bad friend then leave me alone! u constantly put me in awkward uncomfy situations that i put up with bc i thought you’d say i was a shitty friend if i didn’t, ur the ONE THAT’S A SHITTY FRIEND. after that we didn’t talk for about a month til his birthday when i texted him cus what’s the big deal, he wished me luck on the musical. casual. whatever. fine. then after that he started texting me again but i would just ignore it bc i really did not want to deal with that shit again, also i thought he was done with me. eventually i caved and said hi back cus i mean, i felt like a bitch ignoring him and eventually he was like ‘we should hang.....’ and i knew were the convo was gonna go so i’ll admit it. i ghosted. which is something i HATE having done to me and i hate doing it to others but why would i put myself through this bullshit again? this was in june or july. it’s september now and for about a month he would text me EVERY TWO WEEKS saying ‘steph?’ or ‘???’ or “hello...” bro TAKE THE FUCKING HINT. I DON’T WANNA TALK TO YOU. he texted me for the first time in a while yesterday and again i didn’t respond... so he messaged me on FB saying “why won’t you talk to me and text me back?” OH. SO SOMEONE YOU REALLY LIKED AND CARED ABOUT ISN’T TEXTING YOU, YOU SAY? JUST GET OVER IT! MOVE ON! IS IT REALLY A BIG DEAL? NOT SO SIMPLE IS IT WHEN YOU CARE ABOUT SOMEONE RIGHT? Right exactly, karma is a fucking bitch I hope you know how it feels now you fucking asshole. i am NEVER one for revenge and i’m not even doing this to be spiteful because really, the reason i’m not texting back is because he is a manipulative, jealous, obsessed and possessive fucking child, but it’s pretty funny how when i was dealing with someone not talking to me, he told me to just get over it and move on. yet there are dozens of ignored messages from him on my phone, where he CLEARLY isn’t over me not talking to him. maybe i owe him an explanation, sure, but why the fuck should i? just to be yelled at by someone who i really don’t want anything to do with anymore? yeah no thanks. it’s just amazing to me how he can still be so fucking obsessed all this time later. at least when someone is obviously done with me i back off and can realize when it’s over and not be a desperate bitch constantly texting them even when they ignore me 7 times. i’m not delusional i know when done is done. BUT THIS GUY. NOPE. HE STILL REALLY IS WONDERING WHY I WON’T TALK TO HIM. you know why, you dickbag. sometimes friendships just don’t work out and that’s okay, it doesn’t need to get to this point though. and the funny part? i’m apparently not even the only girl he’s done this to... the sweet talking and ‘oh but I’M your favorite right? cus you’re my favorite.’ and ‘we should hang out, like all the time, bc that’s what best friends do...’ yeah he’s pulled that shit with 4 OF MY FRIENDS. you think that shits not gonna get around buddy? he obviously has issues. it’s sad and yknow i don’t usually have problems with people, i can count on ONE HAND the amount of people i’ve had a falling out with or a negative relationship with... and i’m not one to expose people or whatever, that’s not my thing. but when you piss me off THIS much, well, sucks to suck.

it’s been over a year, stop fucking texting me. lose my number, loser.

#i am ANNOYED #this is so long #but that felt good to let out #rant

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