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ant0nsfirstluv · 6 months

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Riize romantic headcanons

A/N: firsttt postttt just some simple headcanons I have for Riize as boyfriends 🫶🏾 hope you enjoy

Warnings: none frm what I know

More under the cut

Shotaro:

So in love with you whaaattt 🙁

Teaches you some easy japanese phrases so you guys can have your own small convos and inside jokes with each other without others budding in LMAO

Hug machine, even if he isn’t just hugging you he has an arm around you in some type of way whether it’s around your shoulders, you two link arms, an arm around your hip, anything !!

For a date he’ll probably take you to the fair, he’d pay for all the food you two eat and has you get on so many rides the main one being the farris wheel, you will take pics in it !

He likes when you wear his clothes especially his big graphic tee shirts, he’d probs buy couple shirts for you two (the cute ones not the corny ones 😭)

Randomly teaches you dances and once you have it right he’ll kiss your forehead and tell you how good you did

Always checks in on you, sometimes he’ll shoot you a quick texts asking about how your day was and if you have anything you need to rant about

Uses cute emoticons rather than emojis when making your contact name

Eunseok:

He really loves you but gets worried that he doesn’t show it well :/ even tho he is literally the biggest sweetheart

Buys you snacks throughout the day and randomly hands them to you but will play it off by saying something like “ I got these because you’re greedy 🫵”

Places your hand in his jacket pocket, keeps a hand in the back pocket of your jeans, holds and kisses your hand while sitting together, silently plays with your hair in any way he can

Even though he’s nonchalant he does worry about you like if you’re taking longer than usual to get home or he can’t figure out where you are he’ll try to be calm but soon sends a row of messages

Has random moments of cuteness aggression, you two will be sitting together and he’ll look at you and just squish you by pinching/smushing your cheeks, randomly pulling you extremely close going “AAAAAH SO CUTE”

Basketball date 😗 will go tough on you until you make THAT ONE FACE, and then he automatically goes easy on you..hell he’ll even lift you to the hoop

Sungchan:

Your favorite giant

When in public he’s practically all over you so nobody even ASSUMESS you’re single, will literally hold you from behind kissing the top of your head + cheek

So clumsy. You’ll get random text from him like “How much is a doorknob.” And you’ll ask him why and then he sends a pic of the door without its knob

Lovesss kissing your face he CANTTT STOPPPP

Play wrestling is KEY ! you’ll be teasing him and he’ll pick you up and toss you into his bed or couch and start play fighting

Goes “😧😦” if you start fighting back 😭😭.

Goes out of his way to feed you, like randomly he’ll be like “you hungry ?” and even if you say no he’ll buy you a little sum sum to munch on for now or later

Yes, he’ll have you go to the gym with him to spend time together 😭

He’ll teach you the proper form for some of the machines and do goofy muscle flex poses in the gym mirror to make you laugh

Wonbin

In the beginning he’ll try to come off as some playboy and would be quietly flirty

Does things to come off as smooth..slides in compliments, somehow finds a way to wrap his arm around you, randomly asks you on dates

Even though he seems all cool and smooth in reality he’s blushing as soon as you look/walk away

Most definitely does things in order to impress you..plays your favorite songs on his guitar, tries his best to win if he’s playing with the members and knows you’re watching

takes you out clothes shopping and has you try on wtv he thinks you’d look good in, he’d think you were so cute and would try sooo hard not to geek out watching you dress up 😓

Gets you a matching pair of earrings with him :(( it’ll either have a matching gemstone or a matching engraved symbol

Its been confirmed that he can be clingy so he’ll do whatever to be around you, if you’re laying down on your phone he’ll come lay/sit by you and it turns into cuddling, he’ll follow you around without noticing etc etc basically like a cat lowkey

You two will be quietly cuddling soo close and then he just randomly says “I wish I could live in your skin.” And you’d go “What.” Just for him not to repeat it EVERRR

Seunghan:

this man is literally…delusional over you 😭

considering he’s a libra (imma whore for astrology) before you two would even be together he’d have a “SHE WILLL BE MINEE” mentality once his crush begins

for a first date once you two are together I feel like it’d be sweet and simple, you over at his playing games and watching movies eating some takeout with r&b playing in the back getting to know each other even moree 🫶

has you sit on his lap while he plays fifa just so you don’t feel lonely waiting for him to hop off the game,, he’ll even teach you how to play it + other games he has..PLUS he’ll shower you with kisses when either of you win

you know how seunghan will call sohee cute for doing literally anything…yea he does the same exact thing with you 😭😭

you wake up from a nap ? “cuteee”, you’re in the middle of eating “cuteee” even if you’re scolding or bickering with him about something he’d stop and go “cuteee”

possessive, just like Sungchan he’d refuse to let anyone even assumeee you’re single he’d give as much pda as you’re comfortable with just to let these mfs KNOWW

if a girl tries to flirt with him he’d shut it down so fast he’d mention you every 5 seconds just to irritate her and get her away

Sohee:

A bestfriend and boyfriend in ONEEEE

the members in the group call you two the twins because y’all are attached at the HIPPP

ofc he sings for you like cmon now . he’d sing you lullabies to help you sleep if you’re having a hard time, he’d sing to you while cleaning up together, sometimes he just feels like singing for you just because

likes watching you do your hair + makeup. he’d even ask you what each product does to your face or what you’re putting in your hair, he’ll even asks if you’ll let him do it for you one day ☹️

lovessss sharing with you. It can be anything..clothes, food, body wash, his computer whtvvv as long as you mention enjoying it he’ll share it with you

uses your shampoo or lightly sprays your perfume so he’ll have your scent around and wants you to do vice versa with his shampoo + cologne

he’ll randomly make you instant foods and will just pop up with the food with the biggest smile on his face even if you weren’t super hungry you couldn’t refuse a few bites

this is so specific . but imagine sharing icecream or a milkshake with him..like it would probably be so cute omfg 😭

Anton:

takes a random photos of himself + the members just for your reaction

makes you a playlist almost biweekly..has the title “for my other half” and the picture for it is either a solo candid pic of you he took one day or a photo of you two together

this is such a random headcanon but imagine one day you’re super burnt out tired or sick he’d help you brush your teeth and do your skincare in the morning

takes .5 pics of you and sulks/pouts if you asks him to delete them (he won’t)

literally uses pinterest to come up with date ideas

he’d come up with a day long date itinerary for what you and him would do like everything is planned out and he even has a few back up plans if things go left

he will carelessly blow your phone up sending hilarious ass tiktoks or simply updates you about his day and asks you about yours

let him take you swimming !!! he’d be a little shy with you seeing him shirtless one on one but he’d overcome it, he’d teach you how to dive and will even race you 😭

he’d feel awkward about public affection but would force himself to have courage and will suddenly kiss you + wrap his arms around you

likes nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck whenever you two are cuddling

if y’all aren’t holding hands you two are mosttt definitelyyy holding pinkies

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sanest-bsd-delegate · 8 months

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General Headcanons with DOA Boys

Headcanon: General headcanons of stuff I think they will do Pairing: Fyodor x reader, Nikolai x reader and Sigma x reader Genre: Fluff, lowkey crack A/N: Thank you dc person for that one fyodor headcanon. →Masterlist

Nikolai

He probably likes to eat mud for fun and force everyone to eat it

You both secretly sneekout of the hideout and visit beaches at night, having deep conversation which would end up with him filling your shorts with sand

he likes to place insects and rats in your closet stating it is a harmless prank. Not even Sigma is excused from his pranks

Nikolai irrespective of being a prankster would gift you with ice-creams and bakery goods [to lactose intolerant ppl, he gives u popsicles]

that was until he decided to prank you once day and put hair in your food

Never fell into his 'get in hole' game. You got stuck in it for 40 days without food and water. No kidding.

The mysterious hole is filled with nothing but junk.😭😭 very questionable junk

You both love to prank others though.

"Let's plant the bomb under Sigma's bathtub" "Extra points make it filled with pink glitter"

Sigma was covered in pink glitter for thirteen days.

But! Personally Nikolai would be one of the best cuddlers in the manga/anime

The first time he wore normal clothes instead of his usual multi layered buisness clothing, you were in tears. How could someone pull such simple clothes so fashionably?

You like to braid his hair. Even if you suck at it, he would wear your braiding loud and proud.

"Ahh quiztime! Who braided my hair?" "Sir this is-" "Wrong answer," boom "it's my love YN who braided it, you are no fun"

And that's how the city's McDonald's got blowed up.

overall he is a good insane boyfriend, so 10/10 cause I love him 😋

Fyodor

This man

I swear he is fine asf but would probably learn all the instruments you like so he can play it to you when you are kidnapped by Dazai most prob.

he is a Lil more insane then Nikolai so he would probably boom North Korea cause he was bored. [NK people i am jk-]

"what did you have for breakfast" "I don't know" "wrong answer" And the next moment you know, South of Yokohama got blowed up

He is the most broken richest man you ever met.

he can't buy clothes for himself or even upgrade the doa office but will gift you a wholeass country as a Birthday return gift.

you force him to wear dresses and paint his nails, 😭 but my man is so down bad that he is sub in this relationship.

"Sir we have bombed the tunne-" "Good verywell" "🧍🕯️" 😭 nah cause they are hella scared when he wears makeup.

He would probably take you to fireworks only for you to realise he is bombing the area again.

"fyodor, we talked about this" "No" and he proceeds to boom everything

he isn't much of a hugger and probably tries to runaway when you try to even touch him, but mf would suffocate you in his sleep with his hug

He probably had tried giving those evil laughs, but the moment he did that, he choked on air.

Me and a person on my server were having a convo and they said "He probably bites his nails to much and they are really short"

he owns a pet rat but denys it

honestly, he is a 10 but he is a terrorist who likes to bomb everything up. But he is your boyfriend and he is hot.

Sigma

-Are you the man of the relationship or he is?

he is more of a 'please don't kill anyone sweetheart' rather then supporting your actions and being a 'lets commit arson dear YN'

Mf is rich asf. He would deny it ofcourse and then proceed to shower you with silk clothes, Gucci , prada comfy…..such a sugar daddy

😭😭hear me out, he is a ball full of sunshine and anxiety but he wouldnt hesitate to kill anyone who does wrong to you or his casino.

-"Sigma am I your first priority?" "Yes-?" "Is the casino your first priority?" "Yes-?" "Me or the casino?" "Yes"

He probably cries everytime you ignore him.

HE REMEMBERS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.

once Nikolai kidnapped you for fun and man did Nikolai end up being half bald.

Sigma wants you to stay away from fyodor, because the last thing he knows is that he want to give fyodor a bombing partner.

Atp he doesnt want you to interact any of the DOA members, because little did he know, you will grow more insane with them.

I like to imagine you knowing Dazai and mentioning it to Sigma on occasions, and oh boy Sigma wanted to kill the man when he first met not because you talked a lot about him, but he would probably be the reason why you pull questionable strunt

10/10 Mama Sigma

He also doesnt allow you to run away freely in his casino, for all he knows is that you will cheat and win all the games.

He is so restrictive

You both probably or possibly may have this convo:

"BUT FYODOR GIFTED HIS S/O A WHOLE ASS COUNTRY, WHY CANT I GET THAT PLUSHIE??" "You cant cheat everytime to get the plushies" "BUT-" "Fyodor is a terrorist, we are not like them" "LEAST HE GIFTED HIS S/O-"

Your arguments probably never make sense to others, but its for you and Sigma to know.

Also he gave up on scolding you every time you try to eat casino coins.

He is such a 'I am trying to keep my S/O mentally sane' boyfriend, even if he needs to go to therapy. 8/10 bf material

Guys get a Sigma. Sigmas never disappoint.

A/N: Btw the discord server if you wanna join is here.

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tree-obsession · 2 months

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Gold and Red Text in Penacony

So, for some reason, I have decided to torture myself by creating a theory that will likely have some plot relevance??? but not totally sure. it has popped up a bunch of times and seems to confuse a lot of people, so I'm just putting together what I know! feel free to tell me if I missed something, as I haven't done many of the side quests yet...

Anyway, spoiler warning for 2.0 trailblaze mission and possibly some of the side quests?? idk proceed with caution! I don't read many leaks so I doubt there's spoilers for that but tell me right away if there are any!

Alright, so the first time we see different-colored text in this mission is during Acheron's first meeting with the Trailblazer. According to this twitter thread (credits to user mobnermal, NOT me) Acheron's dialogue will change, depending on the gender of the tb and how we respond to her queries. She also says towards the end of the convo something along the lines of "It feels like multiple different versions of you were talking to me, saying a different thing each time".

So, I'm not entirely sure why she's lying, or even if she's doing it intetionally. It does seem like there's some aspect of "different possibilities within the Dreamscape" happening- almost like the Dreamscape itself is changing the tb's answers/Acheron's questions. But again, we'll get a bit into the dreamscape later.

2. Aventurine's final convo with the tb, and then Black Swan later.

My screenshots were failing me so hard in this quest lol.

Anyway, as far as I know, these two are the only ones in this mission who use gold text. It's mostly used to highlight the word "truth", and according to the wiki and playthroughs I have watched this dialogue doesn't change- only Acheron's red seems inconsistent. I find it interesting Black Swan put quotations around it, and I have no idea what this could imply. I assume she knows something we and Aventurine don't about Robin's death, which seems to be what they were referring to during this part.

As to how that "upends everything"... I don't know what the implications of her death are. It's implied by the npc who raised Robin (can't find any screenshots- I didn't take any, but it's dialogue from an npc in the Golden Hour) and Sunday and Robin's dialogue in the very beginning- the one where they were "shades"- that Robin's voice may have some special quality that could mind-control/ brainwash people to some extent. This is a bit of a tangent, but may point out why the gold test is so important- the new Harmony trace mats match Robin's design very well, and are part of the Order. The Order's- Ena's- symbol is an eyeball, which can be found in a lot of places on Penacony, but most importantly Sunday's clothes. Judging from what we know of Sunday's control-freak-esque personality (sorry dude ):) it's possible he or someone else in The Family is using Robin's potential powers to brainwash the people of different factions. If you choose the alternate ending, everything wraps up a bit too nicely, and nobody seems to want to leave Penacony after that. Tb never finds out about Robin's death in that ending, either. There's a lot of implications there that I don't want to get into for this post, but basically- The Family is orchestrating something, probs pinned the blame on the IPC in the bad ending (since otherwise why would hoyo tell us that?) and then brainwashed everyone to never leave. Why? No idea! But it does explain why Robin's "truth" (in quotations, because Black Swan's dialogue does imply Robin's not dead) is so important to the plot.

That was a bit of a tangent, lol. Going back to the first sc, I find it interesting Aventurine is the one to tell us this, and if we're going with the idea that gold=truth, that just tells us Acheron's most certainly an Emanator, no matter what the Dreamscape does. Why they choose to have Aventurine reveal this, especially with the first instance of golden text- that's still up in the air. However, something I want to throw in is that there was a theory floating around Twitter comparing his eyes to the eye behind Ena in their official art. They are identical- even the gold outline on Ena's eye matches his eyeliner. Since it's implied in his conversation with Sparkle his eyes are a defining feature of his race, Sigonian, and that their civilization has been taken over (I'm not clear on details) or fallen apart somehow- akin to how civilizations under Ena's rule fell apart after their death- there may be some relation. Also, Aventurine was sent to Penacony specifically, which Topaz questioned- this may be why Diamond sent him. It implies a lot of plot relevance for him later, certainly!

3. The really, really ominous text you can get from a side quest.

If you go to the Reverie(Dreamscape) VIP lounge teleport beacon and head to the wall, you find a broken Clockie surrounded by purple bubbles. If you haven't done this quest yet- do it now, I really can't explain all this! search up a guide- there's a couple good ones on youtube. you do get a sticker!

anyway, some screenshots of the tape's text (cw for slight gore, explosions, screams, overall very ominous and vague tour-guidey stuff):

sorry for the text overlap lol, this was very inconveniently sized for screenshots.

anyway, yeah! possibly the most unnerving thing in the game so far (aside from those lost text stickers...). but, as you can tell, I'm gonna focus on the gold and red text. fair warning, I don't really know what to make of this, but I think there's some connection...

first, gold. this is, if we go off what I previously thought, the "truth". My current theory is that this gold is true of within or outside dreamscape- in other words, the dreamscape cannot alter that thing in the gold text. It's there, regardless of how the dreamscape screws other things up. The "truth" in the dreamscape isn't necessarily reliable, since dreamscape seems to fuck with everything, but gold is apparently truth, so we're sticking to that. That means that bloodshed, mind-opening (?), and pressure-releasing (???) is... true? It's kind of interesting- the other things in gold we've seen are statements with meaning, and this... kinda isn't. However, it could imply this is actually what's happening in the Dreamscape. Some kind of deranged, creepy thing that the dreamscape/ the Family is doing while everyone else is on this cool-looking vacation. I have no idea why that line, of all the lines, is gold, but it's certainly not something someone trying to make Penacony look good would say! That's all I know.

Not much I know about why the red one, specifically, is red either. Are the instruments/music fake? That's certainly a recurring motif in Penacony, between bands in the Golden Hour and Robin being a songstress, plus Ena's "Beyond the Sky Choir", their exclusive faction, which fell apart upon their death. Something about Ena being swallowed by XIpe will certainly be brought up later, I'm almost totally sure. It's also interesting it gets cut off by static, without even finishing the statement(I think). I have no idea what to make of these- I just needed to point out the similarities between this tape and the dialogue.

Also, the tape itself is suspicious. According to Woolesley, there are multiple, appearing all over the Reverie (Dreamscape) and sometimes even messing with the Dreamscape.

First of all, why the hell is he telling us this very classified-sounding info? Also, he literally might pop up next to you- it's inevitable that you give him the tape at some point, really showing how The Family is cracking down on these.

Also, who's making these tapes? Why are they leaving them around the Dreamscape if they know it'll be taken? What's with these side effects/corrupting? And what's the relation between the tapes, Acheron, and Aventurine/Black Swan- are those things revealed in the tapes things only those three are aware of, or care to tell tb? It's really weird, especially since they're apparently in Clockie statues? Also, why tapes even- the tapes themselves seem corrupted(or censored?) weirdly, judging from the lines, and also just... why would anyone make these? Someone against the Family presumably wouldn't do rebellion in such a way, and someone within would have no reason to create this at all- is the Dreamscape itself making it? it's the only thing using both red and gold text...

there's probably some connection to Clockie, since that's who is most likely talking in the tape... and that's the statue we found it in too. Clockie is sus in a whole host of ways- don't even get me started, but I'm not sure how they relate to this theory just yet.

I have no idea. The tape is super creepy, but things probably will clear up a bit in 2.1!

tldr/clarification(sry for rambling so much): red text = lie/subjective/ easily changeable, to the dreamscape at least

gold text= "truth", dreamscape is unable to change it(?)

ena probs will have some lore relevance along with Robin, who seems to be the center of this "truth" for the moment

the bizarre tape is very mysterious and questionable, with nothing solid that we know about it- however, it uses both red and gold text, which automatically makes it suspicious even beyond what it's saying directly

what the hell is the family cooking up? i don't know, but it's probably not good! (for us, at least)

thank you for reading this lightly-proofread, very rambling theory/speculation- you are an angel for making it this long!

edit: so number one- I've added a reblog to this post- plz check it out, it has some other details from the Chadwick quest. and also, there's this Youtube video that mentions the red text in the beginning! It has a very similar idea to mine, but the thing it mentions is not an option I made (I accepted Acheron right away lol, so I didn't grab this detail). And the entire vid is pretty cool, so you should see it!

#penacony #hsr #honkai star rail #trailblazer #hsr theory #honkai star rail theory #bizarre tape #hsr 2.0 #acheron #aventurine #robin #black swan #the family hsr #ena #xipe #the reverie #dreamscape #clockie #clockie hsr

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yelling-space · 21 days

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CELESTE APPRECIATION post

I raerly see anyone mention her but i love her sm yes this is mostly like 98% hc shes only got like 5 lines in hole game what more do u want from me

anyways, my sweet sweet barely domesticated celeste :

-"Why did my husband come back with a child ,a dog ,a living skeleton, a man who can throw him around like he weights nothing and a knight(derogatory)" -Cahara's so wiped 4 her and honesty i would to if that was my wife, she def pegs him 2 btw i mean just look at him, my point exactly.

-gets along with Enki the most 2 everyone's surprise, there paper wight besties. & share a worrie for Cahara they will never verbalise as well a dislike for D'arc- i mean knights.

-celeste is d'arces first (and only) female friend, much to clestes own dismay.

-d'arce thought she was a gold digger at first, as you can tell they had a grate first impression of each other

-only trusts people about as far as she can throw them (rip rag , he can still man handle the group whore with ease tho so good for him)

-can not hold a convo with a child 2 save her life , the length of her mertanl intents extend to bringing the child 2 Cahara .

-she is not mother material but for some reason they're trying to keep a baby with a high infant mortality rate its funny

i think celeste probably didn't have great parents or a good role model, deadbeat drunkard parents that kicked her out and kind of left her to fend for herself & close of to the world and that's why she has such a disillusioned take on parenthood + where her own approach to children comes from but uh oh !! cahara wormed his way into her heart ! and who's to say his clear and utter devotion to this little girl cant win her over either i dont think either her or Cahara were going out of their way to get pregnant - it's like an unfortunate by-product of the nature of Celeste's career, and Cahara's love for her being what led to him being so willing to step up. i don't think either of them ever really thought about having kids, or at least didn't think they'd be good parents, but celeste getting pregnant or cahara bringing back a child is just the way life ended up going. it's the renaissance era, abortion methods are on par with childbirth in terms of deadliness anyway. she's just not going to have to keep risking her life via pregnancy if cahara goes out, gets enough coin to support them both, she's not going to be like every other peasant woman who's forced to become a broodmare because every 1 in 2 children fucking die before they turn 5. clesest being pregnant is just what ended up happening. the love in that is to do with their RELATIONSHIP, not their love for some idealistic family life. i think cahara wanting to give it a try is something celeste would think is really sweet and admirable, but she'd probly keep a lot of her more cynical thoughts to herself on the matter.

saying that i think they both have a lot of cynical thoughts about it really, but i cahara goes so quickly into "this is my wife, this is our future baby" because otherwise what's the point in taking on such a risky mission in the first place ? but if he's got a noble cause, then it might seem worth it, right ? it's that extra push of encouragement for him, even if it comes with a lot of scary things like the responsibility, being a parent, maybe settling down witch is a scary thought for someone whos always so used 2 being on the move

as for celeste ; she doesn't even know if she's going to make it through the pregnancy, or if the baby will. it's just another mouth to feed at the end of the day. she doesn't care about carrying on a legacy, or raising a child into greatness like so many others beg and plead of god to bestow upon their children. she knows she'd be a shit mom and she's hardly a loyal partner at the moment. but she loves cahara, and seeing that fear in his eyes when she told him, but also that spark of light, that little bit of joy, made it at least worth holding on for.

celeste: it's probably not going to make it anyway, i either risk death in childbirth or death in abortion methods, so. celeste: its getting me enough bank rn to keep myself healthy so we'll just see what happens i guess celeste watching cahara bring home an entire child:

okay cringe time over. i wont go into 2much detail about her relationship with the others though i think its a very slow process of her learning to tolerate get along with the creatures friends cahara brought back -as soon as celeste meets d'arce her mild suspicion and distaste for ragnvaldr will be replaced with her disgust for d'arce -think celeste would be pissed she wouldn't be able 2 pull cahara out of ragnvaldrs grip unless she stabbed him or something, witch shes both angry about it but also relieved since it probably kept cahara out of trouble in the dungeon (because lord knows her husband is a magnet for trouble) inside me there are 2 wolfs ; one is mmm hot stong wife carry cahara like a sack of pataos , the other is screaming at me that this is the 1600 and she would be starving and poor. so to compromise with myself im going 2 say : - physical speaking celsest is probly stronger then most women in her profession and could probly drag an unconscious cahara around then againg i also think cahras way ligher then someone of his build&carear should be shes stronger then enki (then againg who isnt) but cant match d'arces physical strength. saying that modern au Celeste would beat d'arce in an arm wrestle.

in-refence 2 my last post; celest is a child darkness, she has a barbie killer husband,there for. she deserves to be as much hater as she likes d'arce: you two are the healthiest couple i know who still have an avid sex life cahara: ASSUMPTIONS ! celeste: we're the only couple you know.

acholic wise i think celeste could out drink d'arce (and at least keep up with ragnvaldr for a little bit)

celeste: d'arce is a pain in the ass cahara: :confustion: :stress_smile: she means well babe cmon celeste: im gonna beat her with a stick cahara: ,, babe,,

cleseste is not payed enough 2 be d'arces therpist or help d'arce figure out she likes women (shes not payed at all actuly,she is simply trying 2 tolrate her husbands new freinds becuse she loves him but also only has so meny braincells she can lose in a day and conversing with d'arce seems 2 kill all of them)

celeste hears d'arce talk about jeanne once and instantly starts going "wow you loved a girl wow that girl who was like you in every way wow that girl who like. shared your morals. or something. wow tell me more about that girl" (stab stab stab metaphorically stab stab stab)

(about cahara getting arrsed and taken by the police) rag: you lack of concern,,, concerns me. are you not worried ? celeste: dogs always find their way back home.

- d'arce and cahara make the same enamoured and light-blush expression whenever celeste rages btw - celeste :handshake: enki taking the piss out of knights + a generally more cynical outlook on life & being cold bitches that secretly care about cahara a lot

(first time they all stayed the night) enki learning hes the favorite for once and he thinks its just the most hilarious thing to fucking happen local woman-lover put out by being rejected by hot scary wife, local berserker intimidated by what scary wife might do if she finds out what he did to her precious boytoy local shadow wizard ? on the floor ugly laughing because scary wife reluctantly asked if he wanted the guest bedroom.

celeste: YOURE NOT STAYING HERE PERMANENTLY. but youre allowed to stay overnight. enki: is this (gags) kindness ? oh my god. revolting. celeste: is that a yes or not you fucking worm enki: yesplease

#celeste fear and hunger #fear and hunger #celeste ily #take a shot everytime i spelt her name wrong #cahara #enki #ragnvaldr #d'arce #i love pitting 2 bad bitchs against each other when its not over a man and 1s obluous 2 the fact the other fucking hates her #didnt mention it ealer but cleste bi queen btw #i dont Rembert if i mentioned it in my post but clests dislike of d'arce stems from her being a knight #this isnt d'arce slander btw i love her i just like bullying her even more #celeste when shes a little hater and i love her for that #enki expences being someone's fav for the first time #rag when hes both terrified by but slightly curious about his little freinds wife #the girl fear and hunger

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wooahaes · 2 years

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i think about single father seventeen inevitably falling for reader even tho they told themselves they wouldn’t and their kid loves them too like 🫠

they tell themselves that they’ll get back out there later maybe, once their kid is a little bit older, just so things might be a little easier with introducing a new person into their lives

and then idk readers maybe their neighbor or their kids elementary school teacher and WHOOPS they fell bc of how kind reader is toward the kiddo imo.

im sorry for the fact i literally went off on this. i have Thoughts.

cheol probably has to tell you to stop sneaking his kid candies all the time but it’s a gentle chiding bc he knows that you don’t actually do it that often, plus he likes the little mischievous look in your eyes when you do it—like you (and his kid, who gives it away w their giggles) are genuinely getting away with something.

hannie probably has that fond look on his face everytime you interact w his kid. i imagine that the kiddo might have a bit of a mischievous streak like their dad, but they always behave so well with you (maybe bc they adore you) and he loves how patient you are. he probably works a lot so it honestly already feels like the three of you are a family when he comes home to see you and his kid just chillin.

shua imo pushes back on those feelings. his kids still young and at first he was worried about what introducing a new person into their lives would mean. but honestly i think he’d be tucking them into bed and they’re like so when are u gonna marry them 😇 and he gets flustered as hell over it. but its comforting to be around you and to hear you dote on both him and his kid. you have the key/code to his place, so it always feels very domestic to come home to you making dinner while his kids playing with their toys. really gives him that “honey, im home” moment imo. probably fully gives in and accepts his feelings when you see how tired he is and offer to put the kiddo to bed before maybe busting out the wine and relaxing w him for a bit, and the way his kid gets excited at the idea of you reading them a story. it just shows him how important you are to both him and his kid.

jun i think also denies it a little at first, but way more half-heartedly bc man KNOWS hes got it bad for you. why wouldnt he? he sees the way his kid squeals with delight when you come visit because you always bring both of them a little something (typically just a candy, but he’ll never forget the day you splurged and got his kid that toy they’d pointed out when the two of you went out for a nice walk while he was working). he loves how much you think about him and his kid, and it just feels like you naturally came into their lives. he decided he was going to wait, but if his kid loves you and you love both of them and he loves you… then why bother waiting? his kid absolutely plays matchmaker btw and hes like its genetic i guess 😔

soonyoung is smitten with you and ends up going to his friends w his concerns imo bc his kids still young? is it bad to bring someone into their life like this? how do you even date when you have a kid this small? but all it takes is him watching you play chase with his kid and the way you scoop them up and laugh together for him to change his stance. that doesn’t mean he asks you out immediately—but if his kid loves you, then he 100% is open to something with you. honestly one of the most likely to just drop a casual “you’re always here taking care of us haha why don’t you just stay forever?” while the two of you are having dinner one night.

wonwoo i think takes the longest time. both to fully warm up to you and to fall for you. like, you will be seeing at least one birthday before he realizes how deeply enamored he is with you. but maybe its the way YOU make/buy a birthday cake for him and his kid that he realizes how right everything feels when you’re around. honestly? probs has a genuine convo w his kid about if they’re okay with him finding love bc he doesn’t want to stress them out. and honestly??? they probs tell him that they like YOU and they want him to marry you rn (which earns a chuckle out of him). maybe someday. but at least he knows you care for both him and his kid tbh.

god. if shua and jun push back on their feelings even a little, jihoon does it the absolute most. he’s busy both being a parent and working. you’re already a godsend for taking care of his kid while he’s out all while refusing payment??? and you literally have no motive, you just genuinely care about him and his kid? how could he not fall for you tbh. but he tries to tell himself that a relationship rn wouldn’t work, that its too much stress on him and his kid and tbh he doesn’t even know if you like him like that. but he’s probably making dinner one night when his kid tucks on his shirt and asks where you are bc they always have dinner with you. it feels weird to not have you around. deadass this kid probs goes “if YOU dont marry them then i will 😤” out of nowhere during that and jihoon laughs but it makes him realize how much his kid adores you. so he invites you over for dinner that night and probably asks if you’re busy later before clarifying he can get a friend to watch his kid—he wants to see you.

seokmin enamored dad who also worries a lot abt accidentally stressing his kid out with someone new, and also worrying about what IF his kid is a dealbreaker? the obvious answer is that things wouldn’t work out at all, but also? what if…? he really likes the person? its kind of a miracle that you fall into his lap, having given him your number bc you had friends w kids and you know a bit and could help him if he needed anything. his kid is probably constantly asking about where you are, why can’t they see you rn, why doesn’t he just marry you like he obviously wants to (he’s never trusting his friends to babysit again after that one, even if it WAS cute to watch his kid stumble over the word “obviously” while parroting the statement back at him), they LIKE you bc ur so nice and fun and you don’t make them eat EVERY carrot like he does sometimes, only most of them 😇. so maybe he’ll ask you out sometime… just give him some time to figure out who’s gonna watch the kid without giving them More comments like that to say.

mingyu probs feels something and doesnt act on it. he just assumes its him getting fluttery bc he’s watching the most important person to him being treated kindly by you and it always makes him happy when people are loving to his kid. then that feeling just… never goes away. he comes home to you cooking with his kid on their chair next to you, dropping chocolate chips into cookie dough, and honestly that’s probably the moment mingyu knows he’s down bad. you make him AND his kid happy? total package right there. probably flat-out asks if you’re seeing someone and if you want to after he puts the kiddo to bed, giving you that charming smile as he sits with you, both of you just kind of knowing.

i think minghao is another person who pushes back on his feelings tbh. he just assumes he’s infatuated with you bc he hasnt dated in a while and ur nice to him AND his kid. you come over to check on them both when hes not working and you take care of them while he Is, so he sees you often enough.he probably offers to make/buy dinner for the both of you to make up for u having to take time to watch his kid, and you accept often enough that it feels weird to not have you around when he’s not working. he probably asks his friends if they think it’s okay to like... start dating someone if your kid already knows them and likes them, and every single one is like “oh, someone like [you]?” because they just Know.

seungkwan! single dad of the year! doesnt think he wants to date until his kids grown tbh. i just think he’d overthink it like he has work and he has to be a single parent and that’s hard! what if his kid starts to think that he loves them less because he’s starting to date? he doesn’t want that :( tbh he isn’t even seeking that kind of relationship with you at first. you just happen to live next door and he was having trouble w his kid and either needed someone to watch them while he ran to get them medicine or someone who’d go and you said you’d be back in ten minutes, twenty if there was a serious wait, w literally no hesitation. after that he like... brought you dinner to make up for it and the two of you got to talking and when you said that if he ever needed someone to watch his kid to just come to you he... did, actually. no one else could once and you said you were happy to do it. honestly if u indulge him in gossip that he gets from other parents (like some of his friends do)... he’s heart eyes, babey! and his kid just kinda tugs at his hand one day and is like dad do you liiiike them :)? and he kinda has to come to terms w the fact that whoops. he does.

ngl i think vernon is someone whos like... the chillest dad on the outside but Panic on the inside like. as a single dad. like ik his family is probably helping him out + his friends, but dude probably is like well shit i need to learn how to cook without burning it half the time because we gotta be healthy here, etc. dont think about single dad vernon just holding his baby while sitting alone in his apartment because it’s just the two of them against the world (even with all the support they’re getting) and he’s gonna protect them btw </3 ouchie! but honestly? vernon’s kid probs ran off as a lil toddler while in a store because they got distracted and he let go of their hand to grab something on a shelf. man panicked, went to find him, and found you crouching in front of the sniffling kid promising that you’ll help them find their dad, its gonna be ok kiddo, you’ll find him even if you have to go to the front of the store and get someone to page his ass. i deadass think vernon never intended to fall for you, but was happy to gain a friend since you mentioned having experience w kids (whether thats a lie or not, he’d never find out since you seem good w kids). and then the two of you just ended up hanging out enough that hes like 😳 over u whenever ur interacting w his kid bc his kid fucking LOVES you. which is good btw like he doesnt have to worry about that whole deal. honestly his kid probably goes to YOU and tugs on ur shirt like when are u gonna marry my dad??? and ur like how do you know about that sort of thing and theyre like my aunt AND my uncles :) and ur like. vernon what are these ppl saying to them. (catch vernon in the bg texting every single person that they’re dead to him for rn bc kids parrot shit all the time... but immediately revoking it once you ask him out)

ok sorry for going off w him i just think hes neat :)

chan! baby have baby. single dad chan is just... lost imo lmao like he knows basic stuff via endless research and his friends n family supporting him, but like??? girl help. but you just find this guy in the actual baby section with a crying kid in their carrier, trying to quiet them back down because aaaa baby is overwhelmed in store but he needs to get groceries and then ur like. buddy do you need some help? bc he seems like he’s alone rn. you literally pump a bit of hand sanitizer into ur hand (since he keeps it on hand Just In Case he needs it now), gently ask if you can help take them out of their carrier, and chan literally watches them quiet down as you take them out and gently rock them. you say something about how your friend had a baby and that you learned they can be really sensitive to temperature so his kid was probably getting too warm + it doesn’t help that he’s panicking since babies are in tune with that sort of thing. and hes like. please teach me everything u know rn, heres my number, i need the help if you dont mind. and hes kinda cute so ur like yeah dude ofc. and literally anytime his kid starts to get rly upset and he cant get them to calm down on his own, he calls you first. sometimes it results in you literally rushing over. and at some point chan realizes oh my god... my baby likes you? like they still get upset ofc because they r tiny, but sometimes all he needs to do is facetime you and he notices his kid getting calmer??? you’ve been chosen by his kid, sorry. plus idk his kid probably is attached to you a bit. chan swears that his baby somehow developed a secure attachment to you instead of him despite knowing that it’s definitely not true, but maybe its a sign. he probably realizes his feelings when you’re crashing at his place bc it was late when he called you, and ur both just kinda tired but not asleep and lying together on his couch while his baby is finally asleep again. he feels like he can do this better when you’re around. he wasn’t hopeless at all, but you? you make him feel confident. and if his baby likes you... then that’s a definite plus lol

(i am so sorry for how long this is i s2g it was just going to be short blurbs but i got carried away w vernon and dinos.)

#wooahaes.ask #asks.anon #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x you #seventeen imagine #svt x reader #svt imagine

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iftari · 10 days

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heres my personal question/reflection. growing up post 9/11 i rmr a lot (& i mean A LOT) of sentiment surrounding the concept of assimilating to the west, being the "good immigrant" and still being fucked by institutions. in line w that was a lot of feeling on how tiring that felt, how exhausting, n like, would we ever be accepted? this isnt an accurate timeline but i would say say this shit peaked in mainstream culture w yt ppl in 2016 (hamilton i think is acc a really great pinpoint of this) and then this energy i would say imo kinda died down throughout trumps presidency (which i personally think has to do w the fact that sm yt liberals were firing up for poc so arguably this was the time institutions were pretending to make "amends". actually. liberals & instutions were maybe trying to make 'ammends' a bit before 2016. maybe since 2014? timeline is rough on this but for sure they were Very Sorry during trump...)

anyway. 2024. in the imperial core of america alone i would say theres *at least* 4 genocides happening (& thats prob me undercounting !) simultaneously. there is currently a very overt livestreamed genocide of palestinians. it is VERY much impacting ppl in the imperial core in the sense that the facade of liberalism is so plainly falling away, institutions are very explicitly engaging in islamaphobia, antiblackness, n anti-palestinian sentiment, etc. and like i obviously think its important to document bc every form of fascism is important to note but i also feel like we're kinda back to convos we've had before of 'omg been SUCH good immigrants n *this* is how they treat us??? oh my!' n like i understand the feeling of betrayal but i wonder how much interrogating is going on beyond the betryal. to sum degree it feels like the way ppl engage w covid in the sense of...im wondering how much of what ur experiencing is actually radicalizing u that america even in its most liberal form should not exist - exactly like israel - n how much of what ur experiencing is like...shock that it could happen to u & the ppl u care ab (vs the....'unimportant/undesirable ppl). like yes its awful campuses are so blatantly engaging in islamohobia. but shouldnt we be reconciling more, as a community that we need to create a world w.o colleges n shifting the importance *away* from unis (esp in a time of shitty economy?) rather than reconciling w like...the betrayal of a institution preserving imperial interests? like how many times are we going to keep learning this? what are we benefiting from having this same shock over n over again? who is it serving to keep experiencing this? feeling similar to this campaign of voting 'uncommited' like who does this serve? dems dont acc care if they have office or not and theyre very clearly ok w losing. they dont need the presidency fr - if anything hey want to lose so they can punish ppl more for not shutting up. so like when we extend energy on the uncommited campaign, who is it serving? what purpose is it filling (& i do believe it is filling a purpose for some ppl. i think for lots of ppl it fulfils the very real emotional need to do *SOMETHING*, to move, to exert the tension n energy we're feeling n thats a correct emotional response! but how u spend ur energy DOES matter bc part of fascism is to literally divert energy so u DONT take up arms. like imo america is not at a place culturally for any sort of violent revolutionary resistance (organized or not) ! like we're just not! but the most explicit nonviolent form of resistance is not being uncommited to voting for a party that is relying on not having electoral offices but rather an actual coordinated strike. THAT has purpose no?)

#idk id k idk. im not trying to demonize any organizers or activists or anything #but really sitting w the concept of defanged movements that still are trying to pserserve liberal fascism #the thing ab liberal america n perserving it is the same as perserving liberal israel n its easy to criticise israel esp now bc theyre youn #but the parallels are there w america so explicit. if we cannot stand w something w isarel u fundementally cannot stand for it here in usa #ither #but i feel like so much defanging has happened to movements that the ppl left to pick ip the torch rn are like...younger inexperienced #activists who have a lot of aderanaline n little political radicalized compass n experience #n its like...showing #also i cannot stress enough how cruel it is to have taken away so many black organizers #to sum degree i also wonder n think ab nonblack cowardice n how its showing up here. like. almost waiting for black ppl to take the burden #of escalation so if it succeeds yay we as nonblack poc take credit n erase but if it fails they get blamed #idk idk i just think antiblackness is really so pervasive - obvi everywhere but i can only talk ab it here in the imperial core #idk. i just feel...idk. movements are defanged n i think the way its going to be inevitably escalated #is going to like...throw a lot of 'organizers/activists' off unfortunately

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1d1195 · 2 months

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HIIIIII SAMMMMMMMMM HONEYYYYY💓💓💓💓💓💓

Sorry for replying so late! Anyways, from our last convo, I totally get about balance being hard, I think I try to be healthy but being very unhealthy and then I just get too worked up on being great at every aspect...that might sound condescending and narcissistic, I get it...but living in the environment I am in, nothing seems good honestly...it feels like everything I am doing is a mistake so i feel I'm only worthy if every aspect of my life is perfect. If its not grades, its health, or mental health, or my weight or face, so I am constantly trying to achieve it all, it is so exhausting being in that pessimistic place...now that i write this, maybe that is where obsession come from, because I'm so eager to escape reality, I will take any new, dopamine inducing part of my life and turn into 'my world', you know?

Also please don't ever stress about posting...tbh you not posting immediately makes me want to read your previous stuff or re-read my favsss, so even in your absence, you have been a delight.

In other news, actually no other news, I have been planning my tbr that I am going to have after exams...I really wanna read a good enemies to lovers like a crisp one but I don't wanna buy one of those corny books where they are enemies for like two chapters and one of them didn't even hate the other, nothing wrong with corny, i just need some action... people recommend the cruel prince and if i buy that it will be my first fantasy book, have you read that? What's your favourite trope besides soulmate because I know dolcezza was made from that 🤧🤧🤧 (imissthemandgarlicbread)

Geez that is long, anywayss hope you have an amazing day and incredible week and all your wishes come trueeee buh byeeeee 💞💘💝💖💗💓💕

-🧸

No I get it, I'm quite the perfectionist too about these kinds of things. If I'm not immediately good at it, I give up completely. I'm sorry you don't feel your environment is helping you thrive! That's extremely disheartening! I know you're studying to go into a medical profession--I obviously don't know a lot about it myself but I've seen a lot on TV and I hear a lot of things--I'm sure it's very common to feel the way you're feeling. I think there is an immense pressure on people in the medical field and I know you've put an immense pressure on yourself as well. I hope you figure out a good balance so you're able to enjoy the parts of learning the field that you've been studying for!

That sounds like a great book! I've never read it--had to Google it! I'm not really a fantasy kind of gal. I get a little overwhelmed with new worlds and phrases and I think if I got a good book and a got into it I would surely like it, just hasn't been the kind of thing I would pick up myself these days. The only enemies to lovers book I read recently was about Christmas and now I don’t even remember the name of it lol but it probably wasn’t real enemies like you were saying. On that same thread regarding a good enemies to lovers: I feel like you just described Zipper 😉 they were like enemies* but not really hehehehe

My favorite trope, oh Lord. I really don't know! Definitely a soulmate girly as you pointed out (I miss my garlic bread couple too). There's so many. Let me Google.

Probs these ones HAHAHAHAHA only one bingo, though so I’m not too dramatic I guess. But let me tell you how fast I fold for a “who did this you” or “hates everyone but you”

I'm just a sucker for any basic rom-com structure.

Don’t ever say sorry for the long messages. I love it!

Hope you have a magical weekend! 💕

Xoxo

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the-amalgam-house · 1 year

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Very sleepy but want to share before I forget. System update stuff.

There's a lot of change happening all at once in the inner world and with a few of the roommates. Don't know if I'm awake enough to properly explain but anyway.

Greyson and I have been far more blendy lately. We had a talk or two about not knowing one's purpose or place in the world and having been forced into unwanted roles and stuff. He's been going through Some Shit mentally and I told him whatever he needs to do, rest for a long time, travel around the Nexus, whatever he can do it. There's no obligations here and plenty of other ppl to help out and he deserves to have a break and be the one being taken care of for a change. I think he wants to experience more of the outer world as well, which is prob why we're so blendy all the time now. He's also getting into upgraded/alternate prosthetics for his legs lately which is pretty cool.

ilo is slowly but surely discovering who she wants to be. She's becoming more elven and more magical and more corporeal, like a slow reincarnation?? Or something like that. She still doesn't want to front but is also slightly warming up to the idea of interacting with the outer world again I think? But milo isn't having it for sure, and since they occupy the same space it's causing a bit of internal conflict. They just want to take care of each other tbh, which is valid.

Noey still hasn't changed in age in a very long time. I don't know if it bothers her or not, she won't really say, but she has been far more talkative than she used to be at her older age. I'm too tired for it rn and would fall asleep in the middle of the convo but reminder to myself to have a chat with her if she's willing.

Oracle has been quiet for a long while. Not to the point of dormancy, I can still sense it around, but it's been very distant and almost solely lives in the tower now. It spends its time looking at the stars as often as possible and I have no idea what it's thinking or what it wants. It also occasionally uses she pronouns when it's feeling a more humanoid corporeal form? I think it's also trying to find and understand itself.

Idric, Frelly, and Belly all seem to be the only unchanging people right now. They seem to be content in themselves atm and I'm glad for that. Feels like even just a small bit of stability. They mostly ask just do their own thing, Belly the only one that stays in the house really cause he's a very small child.

I'm not entirely sure still about what some parts are and aren't, like if they're separate entities from me like my roommates or simply a personified piece directly of me but... Ten has definitely started to feel like a separate entity, and idk if that's cause I did that on purpose to sort of compartmentalize my own self judgement and hatred, or if they've always been there as the persistent negative voice that constantly nags on me since I can remember. Maybe some kind of fragment, not a full on alter? If that makes any sense at all. It does make it a little easier to pull out of negativity spirals to face a separate entity to blame and tell them to shut the fuck up. Kinda like when I actually verbally tell my intrusive thoughts to leave, tho the intrusive thoughts and the self degradation feel like two separate parts themselves.

Bleh bleh bleh all of this is a lot to deal with and I'm too tired to do so right now. Maybe later.

#toby talk #system update

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findingmypeace · 2 years

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It sounds like a very difficult place to be in, but you should be really proud of yourself for holding that boundary! I have attachment stuff too & used to be incredibly enmeshed with my mom, so a lot of this is relatable. I agree with what LS said but just wanted to say that you only need to focus on deciding what’s best for you right now. You seem aware you are in a very vulnerable place after stepping down & the convo w/your therapist & that talking to your mom would likely be very dysregulating, making you more prone to use bx. You can take care of yourself today without making any big decisions about how your what the future will look like, in fact it’s prob best to wait since you’re in an emotional place. continue to reach out to supportive people, update here as much as you need to & keep hanging in there! I know how hard it is to resist the urge to reach out to your mom!

Thank you for this. This was really reassuring and what I needed to hear. I'm sorry you have attachment stuff as well. It's definitely painful. And, yeah, I don't think I will open up that line of communication with my parents right now. I love them and I want to but I don't think it's a good idea given all that I've got going on right now. Even my treatment therapist and I discussed it on Friday and we agreed it probably wasn't a good time. It's painful to keep the communication closed but I know it's the right thing to do-at least until things are a little bit more settled. Thank you for your feedback and your support. Right now it means a lot to me.

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96xie · 2 years

Text

a moment of vulnerability

this is such a long read but ......................................

ive acknowledged that i really need to allow myself to be sad. that i really do need to cry !!! seriously its so important to let your emotions out and cry as much as you need to. anyways

over the weekend, i got to see my some of my cousins for a festival !! saturday was rly fun, i went with my manang and her best friend, drank some m* water (which was okaaaaaay but i drank too much with her best friend so we were literally vibing out on the hill), found MY best friends right before i was gonna cry because i didnt want to carry a big bag of shirts and sweaters + i thought i wasnt gonna see them at all u __u but anyways it was a fun time because my manang got to see her friends from middle school and i ALSO found some of my middle school friends too :3 i felt kinda bad cuz we were switching stages, found justin right in the middle, and dragged him away looool but anyways it was still a fun time. some time throughout the day we had a small convo about one of our cousins, how my manang disapproved his actions and stuff but i really cant help but agree and disagree at the same time because he was probs going through things that we havent, so its highly possible he was expressing his grief in a different way. we talked about some other stuff but her best friend later apologized about it to me and i said omg NO dont apologize because i absolutely dont mind talking about it. i havent seen her and my cousin for awhile and we usually dont talk about important things like this so honestly like it’s cool. whenever we see each other its light convos but i really think its nice to actually talk about things that do matter.

we got home thanks to wayo’s semi-crazy driving (i was a seatbelt for mocha and my manangs bestfriend) instead of getting a $300 uber drive thats only 20 mins away from my place. idk how it was brought up but i got to talk to them about my situation with my dad, because i guess she knew about the lunch(es) with my him. my parents are divorced so i rarely got to see my dad. i saw him for the first time in YEARS around august last year so it was kinda bittersweet? i felt so sad because he was so skinny compared to before and it kinda tore me apart. I felt torn because.. am i allowed to feel sad? there was a topic that was brought up often: my dad always said my mom was so mean to me as a kid and even growing up and i mean, i do remember that, its why i go to therapy :< or atleast i used to, im now looking for a new one. i told her that it messed me up because my mom was always getting angry at me and i had always felt like she used to take her anger out on me while treating my brother like a prince. my dad sometimes came home once a week so i felt really defenseless as a child and when he DID come home, he was always protecting me. my manang understood, and she said tht she knew how much my dad would say he loved me, how he would alwaaaays talk about me. and that broke me because 1) i dont remember such an important action 2) how could he say such important things while he was not present. he was not available throughout my childhood and when i had moved back to SJ, i suddenly could not get used to that im going to see my dad everyday for the next few years. but the thing that really hurt me the most was looking forward to being with my dad but it was always him and my mom fighting every single day. your parents are your number one experience and source of a healthy relationship, so when you grow up not seeing them in love, it really changes your view. my manang says something that makes me really think, “do you think your mom took out her anger at you because your dad always protected you when he couldve supported her needs” and i just really thought about it. “i think maybe its because he expressed more his love for me compared to her and she may have gotten jealous because he doesnt come home often. or maybe because i really resemble him the most and it makes her mad.”

but going back to our lunches, i told them about how my lunches went: we just ate good food, talked about superficial stuff, didn’t talk about deep topics because i plan on doing so a little later when i have my emotions all settled in. right now, its all over the place and i cant organize it. but overall, i think it was a good way to unpack ~some~ of my emotional baggage because ive always kept it in. my cousin asked if my brother goes with me, i say no. ive always asked my brother if he wants to go eat with me and dad, he always says no quickly. and i dont get mad at that, honestly. i dont know what he’s thinking, maybe he doesnt want to face him, maybe theres something else i dont know about. when he’s ready we can go eat together but i wont pressure him to do so. my manang says she’s sure theres he’s holding something in and he really needs to talk about it sometime soon. i agree but if i push one wrong button it might not end well. im letting him do his own thing until he’s ready

cool takeaway: they were validating my feelings, telling me how ive grown and i just felt kinda relieved. like hey! i AM growing! im emotionally growing into a better person. people actually do see this! i need to pat myself on the back. goodjob alexie :3 i slept with my manangs and it felt nice because i know we’re all growing older so we don’t spend time together. it felt like we were all kids again :”)

sunday was more of a mess ; ^ ; i took something on an empty stomach and my body was just iono. destroyed. i still had fun!!! just... more of a crackhead energy pouring outta me. i saw my best friends and their family a lil later and im so glad i saw them. an hour before that, i got to see my fave rapper and be with my cousins for a bit. i got a lil annoyed because we spent most of the time waiting for everyone to get their alcohol, water, or find a porta potty. AND the connection was SO bad. its the main reason why i was going to cry because how tf am i gonna keep in contact with my families ; ___ ; i went to get alcohol with my cousins gf and these guys bought us alcohol and honestly i was just relieved to get out of the line BUT the m* was hitting HARD and so i didnt realize i was spilling shit lmao. we found my other cousins and then next thing you know i was left with one other cousin. i felt so drained because i wanted to have a fun time with my cousins but i found out that 2 of them + my brother had to go home because her baby was getting sick and idk where tf my other cousin and his gf was at. i was SO lucky to have found wayo when i turned my back. i was about to cry because i was looking for them for the past few hours. i quickly held his hand because i really was not walking straight :”( i yelled “im so glad u found me !!!!” he dropped me off where everyone else was at and i just felt so much at peace. i sat with brian while mocha and jordan was in the front i think and iono i just felt nice. jhene aiko was playing while four of us were all laying down cuz man ................. that shit hit SO hard. i dont remember much except enjoying the music and being in a safe space with them. one part of the whole event was just holding on and hugging everyone while waiting to get into the bus. my love language is physical touch so just those actions help alot. of course doesnt have to be in a romantic setting but especially when its cold!! i love hugs ; v ; hold on to me if u need it !!! hold my hand if ur cold !!! i dont mind !!

one thing that really fucked up my mood was seeing too many guys that looked like my first and latest ex. at first it didnt bother me, but then i kept seeing too many. i asked brian and mocha that it kept reoccuring and i thought it was a sign that i dont deserve good things, that maybe there was unresolved things that are coming back to me. and then i got mad, because i broke up with them in the first place because i put myself first. and it made me even more mad because i dont understand why it was happening. they kept telling me “you’re okay. you’re fine you didnt do anything wrong” and they keep me so sane.

i saw my other cousin before we exited the venue and let him know ill be going with my other friends. his gf was hesitant but we let her know that i trust them with my life ; v; i melted on the floor when we reached their airbnb n knocked tf out when brian drove me n mocha back to my home. we woke up the next day feeling extraaaa groggy. i opened up ryans package and despite being a lil bit brain ded i was just kinda overwhelmed because there was so much !! like i didnt expect it, but i was also appreciative !!! and then i cried LMAO because anyone can tell there was so much thought he put in it and iono it made me so emotional because is this something i can accept?? am i deserving of it?? but i was so thankful ; - ; i think he’s an amazing and wonderful person so i really thought about if im deserving to be in his space ; _ ;

overall,,,,,,, sunday was fun but a shitshow in the middle and i preferred saturday better ; _ ; still had alot of fun but i think those experiences really help me reflect about things. i really need to set my emotions straight before im able to let someone in my life.

ANYWAYS! im growing into a better individual. the progress is VERY slow but i really need to take my time. i need to remind myself that there are people who love me, who support me, and see and acknowledge my growth. i need to forget that my journey is lonely. and if there is anyone feeling so lost, i am here and i love you!! ^_^

#just another public diary post #i just really needed to let this out before i explode again

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sphecodes · 3 years

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Sasha: hey what are your guys like, biggest fears?

Sasha: i think mine is like... being forgotten. by the world, by my friends, especially by the people i love. just the idea that i’d have to like, watch them go on without me, as if nothing changed.

Martin: honestly? isolation. that i’ll dig myself into a whole so deep that no one can pull me out. that no one would even care to, really.

Martin: what about you guys?

Jon: spiders

Tim: clowns

#in reference to my last post #this convo would probs take place at like #archive squad pub night #tma #the magnus archives #sasha james #tim stoker #timothy stoker #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #magpod #tma pod #tma podcast #polychives #again #bc i CAN

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amorsurtido · 4 years

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this thing 🥺🥺 with people singing and playing together across their balconies now where they can’t meet up 🥺 warms my heart 🥺 we all just want to be together and share a smile 🥺🥺

#i just love the idea of people singing together like the togetherness #and neighbours who probably dont usually talk sing along from their balconies and windows #we really finding ways to be together now that we cant and i live it #i really really love it #bit also like the things we take for granted #if this happend before ppl would be pissed and tell them to shut up #but ...... now we really know how mich we actually like being in a place with people tou dont know #like i LOVE being in public looking at people listening to bits of their convos #and also knowing that i do t know them and they dont know me and we r prob both making stories abflt each other #from the little clues we gather from bodylanguage and looks and all that

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wooahaes · 1 year

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i hope i'm not too late for the ask game! how about ceo! hoshi with minimum wage service worker reader? i've always found this trope funny - ☁️

omg no ur good! i answered a few last night before i slept for a bit and now im finally back after getting dinner <3 (as u can probs tell from the gap between the last ask and the one before it)

sdfkhdsf i both love and hate this trope bc i both would and wouldnt date a rich bitch. like eat the rich but also.... i would enjoy a money.

despite the nice place you work in, all you get paid for ur server job is minimum wage. the only thing stopping you from quitting is the fact that rich people tip rly fucking well half the time, plus if you laugh at their stupid jokes they'll like you more. insert: kwon soonyoung, the CEO of some company you stopped caring about minutes after you overheard business talk. for some reason, he always comes to this restaurant and he apparently always requests you (your coworker, vernon, says that he said you 'take really good care of him' aka you literally just do your job??? you don't understand it). but the guy does give really good tips (and sorta nudges for his partners to do the same there)...

so u and soonyoung are friendly enough with one another. he asks what you do outside of this (hobbies or school or w/e), you tell him you're a grad student, and hes impressed bc wow u must work hard considering ur always also working here during the day (to which you admit you switched to the online program for personal reasons).

more convos. sometimes he asks how you're doing and its genuinely sweet. sometimes he comes in alone for a lunch by himself and he still requests you. and then one day he asks if you actually aren't interested in him. ur confused, and he mentions he left you his number like... three times on a napkin. he even drew a lil tiger next to it and wrote 'call me! :)' too. ur confused and he says he thinks you're sweet and wanted to ask you out for drinks one day. u admit that u weren't the one to clear the table the last few times, and kinda outright say 'you should have just given me ur number' but he admits he got shy w tht. idk what else to put here rn but maybe u take him up on the offer for drinks and ur worlds kinda open up a bit more as u talk to him more genuinely. he talks abt the struggles of family pressure, u talk abt grad school n family stuff, and u just kinda find a home with one another through tht even though u have two very different living situations.

#☁️ anon #wooahaes.ask #wooahaes.askgame #thts it thts all ive got sdfhdsf

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kaypeace21 · 3 years

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Hopper & lonnie (anon)

Tw: ab*se /dr*gs

So I’ve been reading your theories about Hopper being an interject alter who is going to figure it out after his “death” after season three. I really love it, I think it fits so well. But I was wondering something.

Why does Will view Hopper, in particular, as someone who could protect him?

If it was just about being an authority figure, he could have chosen any other cop. And I’m not sure it was about Hopper as a person either, because until the events, it’s implied he and Joyce aren’t close anymore. They had something in high school but Hopper moved away years ago and is kind of an outside observer in her life now, up until Will vanishes.

So why Hopper? Why would Will attach so strongly to him?

Then I noticed the time frame. I’m not a hundred per cent sure, but I think Hopper returns to Hawkins the year before, or maybe the same year, Lonnie leaves. Which makes a lot of sense.

Back in episode two, Hopper tells the woman he’s with how sleepy Hawkins is. There hasn’t been a murder since 1923 or a su*cide since 1969. And people keep making a big deal of how he’s “a big city cop” and “things like that don’t happen in Hawkins”. It’s implied that Hopper is used to seeing darker crimes, and would recognize them if they were happening on his patch. And then shortly after he arrives in town Lonnie - a bully who relished controlling his family and loved to freeload off Joyce’s hard work - packs up and leaves for a more anonymous life in the city. It’s deeply suspicious. Why would he do that? What was he afraid of?

I think he was afraid Hopper would discover the depths of his abuse of Will.

I don’t think Hopper actually did find any evidence of that before he left, or ran him out of town or anything. Hopper seems to view Lonnie as a deadbeat, but he still wants to call him, even after Joyce tells him about the verbal abuse Lonnie used to give Will, and we see Hopper look discomfited. But he still pushes the Lonnie thing and wants to get him involved in Will’s disappearance, like he would any other dad, so I don’t think he has any idea of the truth.

What I think might have happened was that Hopper caught Lonnie in some minor crime, and pulled him to rights on it in front of Will. It could have been anything. Maybe Lonnie was drunk and mouthing off and Hopper physically restrained him. Maybe the family were going hungry to pay his debts and Hopper intervened. We don’t know. But I think there was something, and Hopper was very much the “bigger guy” in the situation. The alpha male. And for Will, it was the first time he’d seen his dad defeated like that.

And then shortly afterwards, Lonnie left. And in Will’s little kid mind, the two things HAD to be connected. Hopper scared Lonnie away! I wouldn’t be surprised if Hopper spooked Lonnie. Maybe he got in his face and said something like “I know guys like you” or “What else are you up to, out here in the woods? What else are you hiding, huh?” And Hopper is thinking meth cooking or something, but Lonnie’s mind goes to darker places and wonders how much he might really know.

When Will first sees the Demogorgon it’s as a faceless man in the woods. And he runs home and tries to call the police. Maybe he thinks it’s Lonnie or his friends and is hoping Hopper will save him again.

I just think something must have happened to make Will have such trust in Hopper as a protector, even if Hopper himself is unaware of it. I hope we get to see the flashback, and young Will forming that idea. Maybe as Hopper is wandering around the death scape figuring out what he really is, this memory will come to him as a flashback and he’ll be confused. Maybe he / the audience will misinterpret it as being about “protecting Joyce” . But we’ll see Will right there and join the dots.

Side note: I wonder if Lonnie really was cooking meth? PCP / biker meth was big among poor communities in the Eighties, and it’s a scary drug. It causes hallucinations and increases aggression. It might have made Lonnie into more of a monster when he was on it, and if he gave it to Will to get some sick kick out of seeing a kid on drugs, the hallucinogen might have been what unlocked Will’s powers. The blurring of reality and nightmares. I have no real evidence for this except the historical context, but it would explain a lot.

——–

Response (kaypeace21):

Tw: dr*gs/ ab*se

This actually makes a lot of sense on why Lonnie may have left and hates Hopper . He would be getting in the way of his “dr*g business” and other sick activities. Lonnie’s gf even has a biker shirt from Harley davidson- with the eagle logo and their saying “live to ride’. Which would imply lonnie is also in such biker circles. Harley davidson in the 80s had dr*g gangs too.

* the whole convo of Cynthia replacing 50 something Lonnie for a “younger model”. Is foreshadowing of Lonnie doing that to her. He replaced Joyce with a gal in her 20s. And will prob pick another young girl to use in s4/5. Like the movies hint his next gf is about Jonathan’s age-ick. They also called it “bathtub cr*nk” which is sketchy given the bathtub is what Will/mf fears and how the sensory deprivation tank is later called a tub by el . Becky even said he would get terry high and throw her in the tank/tub.

And s4 movies have quite a few biker gangs . Also would make the fact in s2 Will was forcibly injected with a needle more sinister. We see on the TV in s2 punkie brooster says they had a nightmare of having a needle forced into their arm - similar to Will

And in s2 Billy (aka William) was injected in the neck and threatened with a bat. And in s3 robin and Steve were injected in the neck and got high. I thought hopper being in a upsidedown reflection of a spoon was more of a matrix DID ref. But there could be more to it. Like you mentioned such things were cooked in spoons. It would also explain Lonnie’s “debts”.

And yeah in the st books brenner gave the subjects drugs which activated/strengthened their powers yikes . Yikes . Yikes

update- WAIT!

“One reason m*th is so prevalent in rural areas is that it can be formulated, or “cooked,” by small producers and one of the ingredients is readily found on most farms – anhydrous ammonia fertilizer. Both farmers and chemical suppliers have experienced thefts of anhydrous particularly in the Midwest.“

WHICH REMINDS ME OF the FLAYED EATING FERTILIZER AND CHEMICALS IN S3 OMG. Nancy even says farmers/chem suppliers are having fertilizer stolen omg! And she later thinks flayed tom was on drugs- “Nancy drew and the case of the missing fertilizer”.

EVEN Nancy’s proof Tom is on dr*gs is a symptom of m*th use or withdrawl from it-excessive sweating (like all the flayed in s2-3). M*th causes hyperthermia (body is at a higher temp than usual)-so they like it cold!!!!! ahhhhh. Even clammy hands that she mentioned is a symptom of m*th use. in children it can even cause seizures- like Will :(

It also does take some chemisty knowledge to COVERT various substances (including fertilizer and other chemicals) to make m*th- which reminds me of the kids saying they can convert one substance into another (when referencing why the possessed are eating chemicals). I CRACKED THE CODE!!!!!!!!!!

when m*th is made via soil it first is made into a highly corrosive liquid which is sometimes green-like the Russian lab.

“six pounds of toxic waste is created for every pound of m*th manufactured. The waste is often dumped on farms, in rivers and and is harmful to the environment.” Like all the chemical leaks relating to Hawkins lab/mf that affected crops in s2/this pic of water in s3.

#did theory #submission #lonnie byers #will byers #stranger things #jim hopper #stanger things theory

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bakugoulvr420 · 3 years

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is bakugou the type to make his s/o jealous?

hm prob not

i mean at least not consciously

u see how this man treats everybody right ??? he doesnt even show respect towards his parents lmao

maybe u could get jealous if u saw someone actively trying to pursue bakugou despite bakugou shutting the person down every time

make sure to communicate this to him though, otherwise it would take him a bit of time to realize that u were getting jealous

convos would prob go:

“why would you get jealous ?? you want me to yell at you and threaten to kill you too ?”

“no but u get my point right? i feel uncomfortable whenever xyz is around you”

he’d murmur some more shit like “i didnt even know their name until now”, “damn annoying bitch ass”

youd think that he’d ignore your complaints from earlier but he actually puts said person in their place if they get near him

“the fuck you want? can’t you already tell that i’m not interested and that i’m in a relationship?”

if the person returns even after that, he would definitely get physical

remember that communication is key. bakugou wants you to communicate everything to him

#bakugou x reader #bakugou x y/n #bnha x reader #katsuki x reader #katsuki #bakugou #kacchan #bnha headcanons #bakugou headcanons #bakugou fluff

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fallindomino · 3 years

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how i would have changed s2 of hsmtmts

obvious disclaimer but im not a screenwriter or anyth so im not claiming what i want is best, this is just for fun lololol

okay so first of all nini would still have dropped out of yac but she wouldn’t have gone back to east, she would have transferred to north bc she was too ashamed to tell anyone she left at first and maybe she still wants to explore who she is away from ricky and the others

nini could join north’s batb and this way maybe we could have some playful rivalry with lily and nini and more scenes with antoine shdhdjdj also it could have been a great opportunity to flesh out lily’s character so those scenes where she reaches out to ricky and her confession at the end of the season actually make sense lol

speaking of ricky ,,, i think he should have left the play at some point hear me out. he only joined in the first place because of nini and barely wanted to do it at all once he realized he wasn’t gonna be able to perform with her. he could have joined crew and been a manager with natalie or smth considering he rlly does see the theater gang as a second family. also this would leave so much room for ej and ricky development and bants since ej joined the av club and began to pursue film. they could have some convos where idk ricky asks ej how he figured out what he wanted to do after duke didn’t work out and ricky could actually develop some interests that arent the play or nini ,,, maybe fucking art club i mean he did p good on that centerpiece for carlos’ quinceañera.

with ricky not being the beast anymore i think seb should take his place that would be soooo good. and since seb isn’t chip anymore carlos won’t make those snide comments about chip being a small unimportant role and we can just cut that whole fight bc it was dumb and bad. we could still have seb being insecure that carlos is only dating him bc there aren’t really any other gay guys at school. in a heartbeat is great and i did like ricky being supportive in the background it was kinda funny too idk dhdjdjfj

ooh i almost forgot abt rini ahshdj okay so i still think they should break up. but in my version there’s no ricky pulling an ej 1.0 and deleting comments off of nini’s insta, cause with ricky in art club and nini at north trying to figure out what she wants i think one of them would realize that they’re going in different directions and only got back tgt because they made each other feel safe cause what they had was familiar. this could be triggered by ricky mentioning smth abt nini at yac and then nini breaks down and tells him that she dropped out and is at north and doesn’t know where she’s going. and then they can both realize they aren’t good for each other rn and have a less tragic mutual break up.

honestly i really liked the scene of nini taking charge after miss jenn freaked out cause with the character detail of nini giving every person in the cast of productions she’s in a thank you note she just seems really like someone who is suited to lifting others up. this could still be explored at north, maybe she could help lily through her issues that were briefly implied in ep 11 and nini realizes she wants to be a drama teacher and encourage kids to go off book and put themselves into their acting, something she couldn’t have at yac.

okay now ej ,,, so like i said in ricky’s section, more bants between them cause i feel like friendships kinda fell by the wayside due to all the relationships so more friendship !!!! also the scene where ej tells his dad he’s not going to duke shouldn’t have been an ending scene, it should have been fleshed out with his dad pushing back saying how he pulled all these strings to get him in and ej saying he doesn’t wanna go if his own hard work couldn’t get him there. and also more scenes of ej doing av club things !!! and realizing he rlly likes film and wants to do it OMG IT WOULD BE SO COOL IF HE BROKE THE FOURTH WALL AND ASKED THE DOCUMENTARY CREW ABT THE FILM INDUSTRY god i would love that. the only scene we rlly got of ej doing film things was at the quinceañera which made me kinda sad. uhhh also i just wanted to specifically mention how ej got mr mazzara that job at cal tech bc it really showed how he wanted to be there for people not just for gina, who he had a crush on, but for mr mazzara who supported him outside of romance, so i wanna keep that for sure.

gina !!! okay so i mostly liked her arc in this season, the only changes i would make would be to flesh it out a teeny bit (god this hypothetical s2 would have to be like 22 eps at least shdjdjdjfj) anyways besides ashlyn singing home to get gina to stay i think there should be a scene where they actually talk in her room abt how gina feels safer when shes on the run (second chance reference ilysm) hhhh and also a scene of her and carlos actually working out compromises for their choreo cause i liked that bit of development too and fleshing that out would make gina an even better foil for lily, who felt a need to hog the spotlight like gina used to. with gina’s own arc fleshed out her character would feel more whole independently from romance and portwell would be even more rewarding than it is in the current s2. the only thing i would really change abt portwell is that they would kiss !!! in the finale but thats bc im biased.

ashlyn should have gotten a more fleshed out storyline about being insecure about not being a good enough belle or the typical belle. there were some throwaway lines when north did their typical dramatics but the only two real scenes that showed it were when ash talked to big red about it and when she was telling nini she wanted to do a run in “home” bc lily did it. ashlyn should get more screen time where she has to grapple with the reasons she doesn’t feel good enough and big red can still support her but also gina too bc i would like more roommate besties interaction.

kourtney could still date howie, that harry potter shit was cute but there needs to be smth else for kourtney’s arc. idk she’s still into fashion so maybe she could be out here trying to create her own line or smth? this doesn’t have to be resolved in s2 like making a wholeass line takes time and she could work on it into a potential s3. kourtney just didnt get much outside of howie and the stuff at the beginning of the season where she said nini inspired her to be independent and that's why she got a job was just dropped?? so i think that fashion could fill that for her if she’s still dating howie cause like having her whole arc just be the pizza place kinda overlaps w big red’s mini arc abt how he wasn’t settling for hospitality, its what he wants to do with his life.

ik what ur thinking. anna, even if you added more episodes, where would u find the room to add all these plotlines?? well first we cut (most of) the seblos fight, so thats some time saved. honestly most of the time that we r going to gain is going to be from cutting ms jenn’s time. things like ms jenn’s and nini’s car ride would get cut, but mostly all of ms jenn’s romances would get cut down. considering she’s the teacher and isn’t actually a character with an arc how does she have THREE love interests this season?? like all of the weird tension between her and zack can be cut, like just some short scenes of them being competitive can stay. all of the stuff with ricky’s dad can go bye bye we don’t need it. i did like her w mr mazzara so most of that can stay i just didn’t like how he said he would give up cal tech for her, ew no that would be gone.

the MENKIES !!!! this is the last thing im gonna address cause in a perfect world every character would get a long fleshed out arc but then the season would be waaay too long and also im mostly trying to work within material the show gave so this is mostly made up of “realistic” deviations from what actually happened. lol idk what that even means it just makes sense to me. but anyways!! uhhh bro idk i thought them dropping the menkies was funny but it also made the finale really BAD lmao. in this finale, seb is the beast, east still had to deal w the fact that they’re underfunded compared to north but no one is injured, lily is less of a poorly written character and maybe ppl are even rooting for her, and wow i just realized i never actually said what role i think nini should have in north’s show. OOH she could be student director instead of lily cause lily both being in the play while also directing was weird considering omg i just checked and according to her wiki page shes a FRESHMAN?? and they let her be student director? lol hell nah. okay so with all that in mind ,,, the menkies should have been the season cliffhanger instead of portwell. east and north should both be nominated, both schools perform at the menkies, and then the award winner is about to be announced and THATS when it cuts to natalie and the end of the season.

one, this actually gives more tension for a summer s3 as we would be waiting to see the consequences of whichever school won. also i bet people would be wondering if nini’s gonna be transferring back to east or staying at north. people would also prob wonder if ej would be getting the scholarship if east won and what that would mean for his interest in film.

lmao that got longggg and idk if anyone’s even gonna read this but it was fun to do :D

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