#this is a POSITIVITY POST. i LOVE FAT WOMEN and i am also fat myself

[nibblelinephym]

stephanie lauter is fat btw. if you even care. and shes still considered hot and desirable and popular by her peers. and theres nothing you can do about it

#achilles rambles #stephanie lauter #hatchetfield #nerdy prudes must die #abstinence camp #npmd #this is a POSITIVITY POST. i LOVE FAT WOMEN and i am also fat myself

[unicornjoking1111]

POWER (the nine fundamental aspects)

(Appearance,money,personality,social group/connections,physical health,mental health,popularity/fame,education,rich parents)

The information i am about to share with you is based on my views and its up-to you to whether take it in or not.

I know its irrelevant to talk about these things in this loa/void community but idk i felt like posting it PLUS i moslty have followers from this community (this is based on 3d as it has nothing to do with loa/void)

These things are there in "real" life and we are aware of it.. but i wish someone have told me these things

The things i am gonna share with you might hurt to some since i am gonna share you the "reality" of life

Please excuse me for my bad english...

In this fundamental aspects if you have more than 2 or 3 you have reached your goal in achieving your power

This post is like an introduction but i will add only about the topic appearance here and will be making new posts about other stuff

1) Appearance

I think pretty privilege is the right word for it! we have seen on social media that appearance has a huge role in making our life more easier and get away with things much easier and faster!

Appearance also correlates with other fundamental aspects such as social group/connections,money,popularity/fame and personality

In the topic of power appearance is one of the top 3!

pretty privilege as google says "a concept used to examine the economic, social, and political advantages or benefits that are made to both men and women solely based on their physical appearance."

when your pretty life gets easier! u will have more friends, people will treat you better,people will start to respect you and think you in a positive light which leads to greater social connections, even marry a rich guy/girl,brings you fame,get away with anything even if you did something wrong (please don't take advantage of your pretty privilege :D)

being pretty does not bring you genuine connection as there are disadvantages of its own!

pretty is subjective due to the cultural aspects of what is deemed attractive in society!

in terms of 2000's the beauty standard is skinny and blond but now we are in 2024 the beauty standard has changed in terms of accepting other aspects of beauty and the skinny and blond still remains beautiful up to this point!

is it unfair to keep this "beauty" standard? yes

is it necessary to change our self to fit into the standard? no

you can choose what you want to look like and how you want to look like there is nothing like i have be this to be accepted

dont be delusional into thinking "i love the way i am" when your really not! its like forcing yourself to like something which you actually dont like

beauty is real and we are humans after all! we choose this because that's what is pleasing to the eye

you can change how you look like! its not like you will be stuck with the way you are forever and our human body is always changing! so do what you gotta do! give it some love and don't be harsh with it!

you want to use your pretty privilege by becoming a model,social media influencer,be a pretty wife etc... do it! (mind you there will be negatives of its own)

The Standard

ok this part of the section is gonna be really sensitive and not a lot of people talk about this.. i dont even wanna express my views here cause this is the reality i faced... idk if yall bash me for it but atleast there gotta be someone who has to be honest..

Skinny

so.. being skinny gives you privilege! let me tell you why! i am a skinny person myself and my parents tell me to eat more cause i am "skinny" but the truth is being skinny is a privilege and a standard! i know a friend of mine who is so beautiful and her body is goals! but she told me she is fat and want to be skinny.. it makes me sad that someone so beautiful wants to be skinny.. its really hard but its the truth! even models and the social media influencers are skinny and it is accepted.. i get complimented by people who tells me that they want to be skinny like me.. it was a shock!

if i tell this to anyone who are not skinny they look at me with a weird face saying "you dont know how its like being fat and no one wants that except if you have big private part that's why people compliment you for being skinny". i am sorry for the people who calls themselves fat i just hate it man...

colurism

godddd! if your an asian i am so sorry! but a lot of Asians might relate to this one! its about being "white".

yes us Asians are so obsessed with white skin tone but the more shocking part is western people wants to be tan!!!!

idk bro i am so shocked i have no words honestly! for gods sake we are in 2024 and this colurism part sucks!!! like sucks sucks -.-

colurism is the part which hit me like bomb and ruined my childhood! i had black skin tone but i had to force myself to get rid of my shade and i did.. i went from black to white brown kinda combo... i had a lot of trauma with it.. my mom who used to beat me more for my appearance loves me now when i changed my color and now more "beautiful" to my mothers eye... this is one of the disgusting things i had to face when deep down i am hurt to the core..

but somehow being white is like the safe zone and an advantage apart from the tan or black color.. i think in 2024 people start to notice brownish or tan color to be attractive and more accepted.. but the black skin tone is never accepted and no change unless you have features (featurism such as eyes,nose etc..) which are considered attractive and accepted.. so the only way for people with black skin tone to get away with things is to have features which are accepted which sucks!!! i mean not only for black even for brownish/tan skintone.. idk about for people who have white skin tone.. i think you can have any features u want if your skinny..

i hate to write this part cause i am disgusted!!! i hate it so much but this is the privilege and this is the reality we are living in...

featurism

idk a lot about features and what is the standard nowadays.. i think having a small nose and plumpy lips are attractive..? idk man..

i think people with normal features are considered a pretty privilege..? like for example if you have (eye misalignment or anything which stands apart.?) its most likely not accepted as far as i have seen in real life but in modeling industry u can get away with it as they want unique features.

ya the "normal" features are considered beautiful? not much educated in this matter.

Final

yes this is the final part.. i think i have given you much awareness of whats considered a pretty privilege? choose what you want to do.. but i beg you to be gentle and don't be harsh with yourself.. change is ok but you need to have your own permission to allow to change and that's the first priority if you want to gain pretty privilege!

if you want.. i can tell you tips for a good self care routine (comment down if you want)? comment down on your views on this! negatives or positives its accepted.

#neville goddard #loa success #loa #manifestation #the void state #void success #void state #law of assumption #power #real world #society

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

"I think that lots of things that I thought were possible before that was posted, don’t seem possible now." This is really interesting to me, because I've been following you a while and I never really felt that I knew what you think was possible re Harry and gender?

From what I have seen and read, Harry has never expressed a nuanced interest in this topic more than "everybody should be kind to everybody, and that includes women". Even worse, there have been terrible, terrible takes last year. For me, the whole Pleasing nonsense is way worse than the Pilates stuff - is he seriously selling anti aging crap to teenagers??? And the way he talked about queer films? That still makes me so angry, to the point that I'd prefer not to have Harry speaking on politics, gender and social issues at all.

To me, the missing "there, there" is really important in this context, because I also think that he is closeted. 25 years ago, when I was 18 years old, I was absolutely okay with everybody thinking that my parents might be abusive rather than people knowing that I was getting love bites from another girl. Mindboggling now. I've always had a good relationship with my parents, knew even then that they would be fine with me being a lesbian and I didn't live in a conservative environment at all. Still the fear of being forced out of the closet made me oblivious to everything else around me, it paralyzed me and I had no space for thinking about collective social issues.

Obviously Harry's situation is very different, but I see myself (and a lot of my queer friends) in him waffling nonsense and making bad choices (subjectively 'bad' to me at least) from a frightening closet. When he talked about his panic about being perceived as "somebody who has sex" or "people seeing how he kisses", it was really painful to me, like him playing Tom was painful to me, too. I hope therapy goes well for him if he wants that.

Being a 'new, meterosexual' man, who is sexy but also detached, might be a kind of compromise for Harry. Which it obviously isn't, and that is why people are missing the 'there, there' at a closer look. It is lacking authenticity, which I've seen mentioned in the media for the first time this year. My guess is that Harry and his team are aware of it and playing for time (3-5 more fat years?) but what do I know...

Of course nobody is forcing him to endorse the Pilates studio, but maybe it's something like "Harry, we'll give a short clip to the pilates study so you can have a three week holiday with your partner safely, is that alright?". 18 year old me would have said yes and not asked more questions, I'd just been happy to have three weeks without fearing to be dragged out of the closet. Might sound dramatic, but to me Harry's anxiety is palpable a lot of the time in the way he treats his body and, more lately, the things he says (which, again, might be wrong and 100% projection on my part).

Making his choices under circumstances he doesn't choose from when he was 16 years old is a lot. Maintaining a closet is a lot, even if you're not a popstar with millions of eyes on you, hundreds of peoples' livelyhood depending on you, and a partner who is in a similar but also very different position. It's a lot and I feel for Harry.

--

Sorry for this novel, I just love to read your thoughts and am checking obsessively if you reply to my anons. Lately I've saved them so that I might re-read my own thoughts later, like a diary. Strange but I guess there are stranger things on the internet ; )

Thanks for your thoughts anon - it's so awesome to hear that asking anons helps you process stuff. I'm going to respond to a couple of different things in here, but if there's something that you're super interested in that I miss.

That's a great starting point - what did I used to think was possible when it comes to Harry and gender. To focus a little bit on the politics of it - so his response to gender in society - not just as it relates to him - I think there are a wide variety of options. To give one example - he could have a visceral aversion to statements that 'men are like this and women are like this'. He could also have a political understanding that statements that men are one way and women are another are quite harmful. I think it's unlikely that he would go even further and feeling like it's important that he's part of changing that, but I wouldn't have said it's impossible. He also could not really have any thoughts about it all - when he sees a sentence like 'It's not just for girls, it separates the men from the boys' - he could just think 'that sounds reasonable'

Obviously now I think the possibilities cluster much more strongly around 'that sounds reasonable', but before the interview any of those could have been true.

*******

I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences and the way that they have shaped you. I'm so glad to hear that things are better from you and you have a good relationship with your parents. I hope you are kind to your younger self - her anxiety was a reasonable response to the world she

I totally agree that Harry's anxiety is palpable in a lot of what he does and how he interacts with the world. I think the 'people will know how I kiss' comment is an excellent example as are much of the other things you mention.

But in this case, I think understanding this through the lens of the closet doesn't bring any insight. In particular, in the way that you frame it - as if someone is giving this clip so that he can have time with his partner - there's absolutely no reason to believe that's true. Harry can have three week holidays with his partner without anyone knowing (wealth buys you that). The idea that this video would be seen to directly matter by Harry, or anyone working for him, doesn't make any sense with how we've seen him navigating the closet

That doesn't mean that there's not some connection. Anxiety works in mysterious ways and there could be all sorts of things going on for Harry. But I think imagining a straight forward 'he's doing this because he's anxious that otherwise he'll be outed' - is an over simplification that probably reveals more about your anxiety than Harry's.

********

I do agree that Harry's closet is central to the question of 'is there a there there'. I remember listening to the Harry episode of Popcast - and it felt like they were dancing around the possibility of him being closeted - but I don't think they were - I think they were just describing the gaps they saw.

But I think it's easy for fans to assume that the feeling that there's no there there is entirely caused by the closet. I think it's far more complicated than that - because I think it's also something about Harry that enables him to be such a successful blank space - and that wouldn't suddenly change when he was out.

In particular, I don't think the fact that we're both 'no Harry, speak less about politics' would necessarily change just because he was out (there are plenty of out queer musicians who have said cringe things now and in the past). I think he'd probably be a little more articulate if he wasn't so afraid, but only a little. I think the way that he's unwilling to be clear about whether he's talking about himself or the world is shaped by the closet, but that doesn't mean that he would disappear. I think he could build up a centre, if he came out, but I don't think it's inevitable that he would.

**********

I've been really frustrated by the silence in response to that statement and that's led to me responding with the boldest, brashest version of what I think.

So here's another way of expressing the same idea. What if Harry did support the message of that video? What if it did reflect part of his worldview?

There are other explanations - but the fact that he agreed with something that he put his image to is always going to be the most likely one. And I think it's worth Harry's fans, particularly those who argue about what he's really like or talk as if they know what he's like, sitting with that possibility. And either including that view in what Harry might be like, or accepting that what they're talking about is not what Harry is like, but who they want him to be.

#I should probably have led my whole discussion #by asking that question #what would it mean #if that ad #that Harry gave his image #was reasonably close to how he saw the world? #But it often takes a while #to understand exactly what you mean

[anazen333]

Plus Size Stigma - Hetro Pairings

If you’ve read my previous post, concerning the cookie cutter body types commonly found in romance novels, and my plan to subvert them, then you know my “type”.

In a nutshell, I find Asian men highly attractive. And for quite a few reasons, most of which I can’t really explain, and quite frankly, shouldn’t have to. Human beings come in all shapes and sizes and their personal tastes are just as varied.

Sure, I could probably attribute several qualities to certain influences.

I really like Anime/Manga art and those guys tend to be thin/lithe, have no butts, and little to no mouth definition. And Asian men in real life tend to have beautiful cheekbones.

I also grew up with a father who, though Latino, can sometimes be mistaken for a Southeastern Asian man. And I am fortunate to have a father who has loved and cherished me my whole life, and I still respect to this day.

And while it’s hard for me to NOT find any given Asian man attractive, that doesn’t mean they’re my only type. Basically anyone who is thin, lacks a defined butt, has little lips, possesses defined cheekbones, and is under 5’10, I’m going to find highly attractive. But they don’t have to have all those features for me to find them attractive.

But there are two features that instantly turn me off. And no, they weren’t influenced by the media.

I have two male relatives to blame for my instinctual aversions.

As a little girl, I was constantly on edge around these two men. Because they had violent, unpredictable tempers. And growing up, I witnessed and was the focus of several outbursts from them.

I never felt safe around them, even when someone else was there.

So in my child brain, I connected safety - when concerning men - into two camps.

Short, thin men were safe. Because my father, who I always felt safe around, was short and thin.

Tall, large men were unsafe. Because those two relatives with the dangerous tempers were over 6 feet and on the large side.

So what’s the problem I face?

It’s that by traditional media and body positivity advocates, I, as a plus size woman, am not allowed to find big guys unattractive. And subsequently, not want to date them.

The media says, “what fit man is going to want you, a fat girl? Never mind that you eat right and do martial arts. The fact that you’re healthy doesn’t mean a skinny guy is going to give you a glance because you aren’t a size 2.”

The body positivity advocates say, “how can you have such double standards? You’re a plus size woman. It’s unfair for you to reject guys just because they’re plus size, too. You’re buying into the media’s propaganda.”

And it makes me feel guilty. Even though logically I know I shouldn’t have to be.

Plus size men end up with thin women all the time. So why is the opposite rejected?

And does that mean I will never find love or have to force myself to change when I shouldn’t have to in the first place?

#plus size problems #plus size women #plus size romance #curvy girl gets the skinny boy #mixed weight pairings #I feel like the lgbtq+ community doesn’t have to deal with as much of this nonsense as straight people do #curvy romance

[thelotharioengagement]

Day -1

I really need to get control of this thing.

I've been avoiding this part of my life for a few years now.

Women, sex, dating, lust... I have repressed it all and ignored it all and now I find myself fat and self-conscious and awkward.

Despite this, sometimes women still approach me. And as I'm making some mental room at the moment, I'm realising I very much want to be capable of getting them.

I want to have my slut era. I want to be confident and cheeky and sexual; the last of which I've never allowed myself to be.

I really need to unlock this piece because I notice how much of an effect it has on me. If any girl gives me attention I will immediately daydream about her. It shouldn't be like that. I shouldn't be that susceptible. It shouldn't intrude on my day. And it does because I've deprived myself of these things.

So I'm giving myself a two-month challenge. A lot of things will be happening in that time but I want to really commit to focusing on a few things I always ignore:

Get my place ready for women. Get my body ready for women. Get my mind ready for women.

I am certain if I wanted to I could pull some girls now, but I don't think I could show them a great time because I'm too in my head. I don't want to ruin it.

I need to get back to the body I'm generally comfortable in... That's about 5-10kg less fat than this one.

I really, really, really need to stop eating an excessive amount of crap. If I did that alone I'd drop pounds as I walk a bunch every day and I still exercise semi-regularly (even though it's been less due to a lot of logistics of late).

I'm thinking something harsh and severe like the warrior diet maybe. I need SOMETHING like that.

For food, I need to prioritise protein so that I'm not mindlessly binging in the afternoon. I'm wondering if high protein and fasting is the way here.

I also need to get my regime back on track. My gym membership expires in two weeks but I am buying gym equipment for my place anyway so this should be resolvable. I usually focus on strength but cardio and body weight might be a great thing to go hard on for the next few weeks. Running tends to injure me so I need to get a bike or rower setup. I need to use my kettlebells well.

As well as this physical work I need to do a few tasks for the inner game.

I want to start thinking about this stuff, so I want to read books like The Art of Seduction and something along the lines of The Ethical Slut. I probably want to read whatever pickup artists are reading, though I'm ashamed to admit it.

AND I want to work on some specific guitar songs for, basically, attention-seeking online (lol). I know if I post a reel of me playing the right song(s) it will explode my life and act as a good starting point for sliding into DMs. So the next two months needs to involve identifying and practicing those songs.

Finally, the place. I need it to be fixed up so I can bring babes there and not be embarrassed. I also need it to look good for my early videos (guit and face to camera pieces lol) to contribute to the idea that I have my shit together in a sexy way.

These are goals I've had for a while though and I just keep failing to execute. I use my dog and my work as excuses, and both do stress me. I can minimise stress by being dilligent at work and doing daily training with dog. I should also incorporate the dog training as a scaffold for my new habits as it's the easiest thing for me to do every day as I have no choice!

So, to kind of sum this shit up: I need to reform some bits of my life to put myself in a position where I feel comfortable and confident and I can capitalise on my charisma by being sexy as well as a cool person.

I've really been going through a shift in how I present and I think this is the obvious conclusion to that shift. I'm ready to embody my dream self, and to accept the love and desire of the hot women around me. Let's fucking go.

#self improvement #weight loss #dating #hopefully

[uniquemummy2]

Morning Guys

I thought I would post while little one is napping.

To the people out there men or women suffering with their mental health and body imagine.

You can get through the tough days,the dark days. The days where you have little to no energy to do anything. I know I have them, they can be so hard to pull yourself out of. I found that going for a walk around my favourite place, helped me come out the other side. It gave me an opportunity to relax,not worry or stress,just half hour of me time,away from the house and whatever needing doing around the house. Once I had been on my walk, my head felt better and fresh,I was able to carry on with what needed doing. I also found singinf was my escape, Ive sung from such a young age., This isy escape. Find what helps you grab it with both hands and use it to help bring yourself back to where you want to be. Also talk to people,friends, family,drs etc. There is no shame for it. we all need to support each other.

As for body imagine, I suffer badly with my body imagine, I don't have the perfect slim body that I can flaunt or be proud of. I have had children, I have baby fat,I have normal fat from not eating proper healthy foods, I have stretch marks from my beautiful kids. I have hit soamy lows because I look at my body and think wow I look horrendous. I fat and out of proportion. I would cry when I looked at photos when I was slim after losing weight from going to the gym. I gained my weight becat my low mood took over and I didn't stop it. Last year I looked at myself I decided enough was enough,I have clothes I can't wear because I am to big or out of shape. So I started my fitness journey in November. I had a weeks break around Xmas and I'm back on it again. I have 2 protein shakes a day to help with weigjt loss and a controlled calories intake,then a normal meal at teatime. I have a treat day once a week aswell. I will put updates of my journey on both mental health and body imagine. I remind myself everyday, whether it's a note on my wall or a message on my phone or even just doing my make up and hair. I just say " I may not be perfect but I am beautiful not matter what" I don't like my body right now but I'm fixing it. This gives me a positive mind and helps me keep going. I put my favourite music on when I train.

Guys and girls stay strong,keep smiling,

love yourself and you are beautiful!

#body image #curvy body #bodypositivity #memtal illness #aniexty #loveyourself #stay positive #beauty #your beautiful #your worthy #be positive #love yourself #feminine #mental illness #self care #cosmetics #positivity #body imagine #positive

[kirankickskancer]

DMX

Funny story guys - remember how I said it felt too good to be true that I was getting off easy with a lumpectomy? Turns out it was too good to be true. Tomorrow morning at 6am I am heading in for a double mastectomy (DMX) and an axillary lymph node dissection (ALND.) Like the character in the movie Saw, I have to make a choice between my life or my body part. At my post-lumpectomy visit with Dr. Cody, he explained with his trademark diagrams on the back of the pathology report how my margins were not clean. Lots of the bubbles he drew around a breast silhouette (that looked nothing like mine) had question marks and one had a big fat cross. Then he sent me up to radiology to get magnified mammograms to prove his point. This just felt like a cruel joke - getting a mammogram on a healthy breast is bad enough, but getting one on a breast that has just been split from armpit to nipple and sewn up again two weeks ago, was pure torture. A fellow survivor on my Facebook group likened it to running over a dead animal (this is why I love these ladies - that made me LOL!)

Dr. Cody’s verdict after seeing the mammogram was that even he, the famous breast conservationist from MSK, recommended a mastectomy. Even if he got the positive margins, there would still be too many far-spread calcifications left behind. (Hello Doc, the calcifications were there since the beginning, so then why did you suggest a lumpectomy?)

I was feeling less than confident with the whole staff at MSK - swanky hospital, efficient service, top notch research but the personal touch was lacking. At my post-lumpectomy visit, I was not asked how I was feeling or the range of motion in my arm. I didn’t even realize I had developed cording, which affects a quarter of all breast cancer surgical patients and is a result of scar tissue developing under the arm where the lymph nodes are removed. A simple exam on their part would have proved that I couldn't stretch my arm above my head or reach out to pick up something without pain, which are symptoms of cording. If it wasn't for my groups, I wouldn’t even have known what I was experiencing or how to make it better (PT, massage, heat and stretches to increase range of motion.)

Feeling disillusioned with my doctor, and upon the advice of my oncologist brother-in-law, I got a second opinion from the surgeon who practises in Hartford. Dr. Niamey Wilson came highly recommended by my beloved oncologist Dr. DeFusco who was in charge of my chemo treatments all summer. I had met with her over the summer when we were going back and forth between having the surgery in NYC or CT. We finally settled on NYC because MSK had the best technical capabilities including frozen section and so I could be near the kids during their school year in NYC. Dr. Wilson agreed that mastectomy is the way to go. She also thought that more nodes should be removed in addition to the 2 sentinel nodes removed by Dr. Cody.

At this point I had way too many decisions to make - Single mastectomy or double? Reconstruction or not? Sentinel nodes or Axillary node removal? New York or Avon, CT? After soul-searching for a week, long walks in Central Park and conversations with other survivors (Thanks Laura, Anu, Deb) I finally decided: Double, because I don’t want to look like Dr. Wendy Sage from The Simpsons (much as I admire all single-breasted women.) Flat, because I would rather have no boobs than fake boobs that have no sensation. Axillary node removal because cancer is a sneaky fucker and I will play hard (even if it means I have to wear a lymphedema compression sleeve 12 hours a day) - I tried to get away easy and it didn’t work so I will give it all I have this time around to make sure I win. Avon, because I need the mental and physical space to recover and even though it feels selfish to think of myself first, it is what my kids need from me in the long run.

So, here I sit, in my big empty house in Avon, with all the space I need and crave, to come to terms with my loss. I grieve for the body I have to give up, and look forward to the new person that will emerge after the scars and the trauma has healed. I ask myself Why me? And the answer comes to me: Why not me? This is my path to tread. I am not brave, I am not a warrior, I am just a woman taking one more step forward because that is all we can ever do.

[sunrisehoneybee]

Response to Anon

To the rando anon who felt I was moralizing the term ‘fat’ because of some unidentified comment I left on some unidentified post some unidentified period of time ago. Like ....seriously, I haven’t posted a comment in ...how long?  I’m barely on this account anymore. Whatever I said may have been misunderstood or taken out of context.  It might have been said in a moment of frustration.  It might have been said in a moment of ignorance.  People do grow and change. I am no different.  

Regardless, I have no idea what you’re referring to.  I’ve made LOTS of comments in the past around fat, body positivity and fatphobia.  

But since you want my views on the concept of fat and body positivity - Here you go. 

I have fat.  I have muscle.  I have blood and various tissue and organs. No one says “Oh wow.  You’re muscle.”  How weird does that even sound?  But people will say “Oh wow.  You’re fat.”  And you can preach body positivity all the time, but they are not being positive.  It’s not even a neutral statement. They aren’t saying it in the same vein as “Oh wow, you have green eyes.”  “Oh wow, you’re blonde.” At all. They are saying it to be insulting.  To judge. They are saying it to hurt and dehumanize. Based on a singular physical trait. That has ZERO bearing on my morality. Of whether I’m a good person.  A good employee.  A good mother. 

My body composition has no moral bearing on who I am as a person.  I am not here for anyone’s aesthetic. I’m not a fucking punchline.

Do -I- think having fat is a moral issue?  No.  Do I think people who have what someone may deem as ‘too much’ fat are judged on a moral level?  Yes. It IS treated as a moral issue.  I AM judged on a moral level because I have fat. I am deemed lazy (If you’d only eat less and work out more you wouldn’t be fat).  I am deemed ugly and unattractive (You’d be pretty if you lost some weight).  I am dehumanized (Being moo’d at as I walk down the street). 

Don’t get me started on what society does to children regarding body image. My daughter is in therapy because of it. Not only does society as a whole put this pressure on being thin (NOT HEALTHY, OK?  BUT THIN), but the medical community is rampant with fat bias. Which can arguably dangerous when conditions are not explored, not examined, tests are not run because their doctor feels they should lose weight and that will fix everything.  But medical bias against fat people is an entirely different post.

What do I want?  I want people to be happy in whatever shape they’re in.  I want them to love who they are.  Period.  I want them to celebrate their bodies.  It’s the only one they have.  If they want to change their weight.  Great!  I will cheer them on.  But I want them to be happy in their current shape, whatever it is, along the way.  If they don’t want to change their weight and are happy with who they are.  Great!  I will cheer them on too.  

And before someone hops up here and says, “But I’m just worried about their heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeealth.”  

Don’t. No you’re not. You can be healthy at all manner of weights.  BMI is a bullshit standard that has no scientific basis.  And the bottom line is my health is none of your business.  Are you a doctor?  Are you MY doctor?  No?  Then stop talking.  I know what my shape is.  I know what my health is.  I don’t need your input. It’s rude and infantalizing to assume otherwise.

But to address the random anon - If YOU, random anon, want to proclaim yourself as ‘fat’.  GREAT!  Seriously.  Good for you.  

I want the term ‘fat’ to carry the same weight as someone’s eye color.  I would love for it to be simply a characteristic, not a moral implication and not an insult. 

TRIGGER WARNING below cut - mention of rape and violence against fat people, specifically women.

I want for podcast hosts to not be able to say things like “There is nothing more worthless than the bottom half of a fat woman” and go on to graphically describe cutting them in half and raping them before they died, then throwing them away like garbage because they are worth NOTHING. 

I want that level of hate to not exist. To not have a place. For people to not tell me to get over it, it’s just a joke. Can you imagine the outrage there would be for ANY other physical characteristic to be used in a ‘joke’ like this?  

/end trigger warning

But I will die on the hill for YOU to use that term in a positive way to describe you.  I’m not ‘anti-fat’. I’m anti-weaponizing the term fat to hurt people. I am anti-using the term fat to ascribe moral value to a person. However, I don’t have to use the term ‘fat’ to describe myself if I don’t want to. Just like you’re allowed to use the term ‘fat’ to describe yourself if you want to.  That’s the way it works.  

For me, I will probably always struggle with using the term ‘fat’ in a positive way to describe ME.  It has been used to hurt me ....for as long as I can remember, even when I was what anyone would deem a ‘healthy’ weight. I grew up with a parent with an eating disorder.  I struggle with disordered eating myself. It is VERY complex issue for me.  It’s ok for me to still triggered by the term.  It’s ok for me to take ALL the time i need to work through and process the damage done TO ME by the use of that term. If in whatever moment, I felt the use of the term ‘overweight’ was easier for me, maybe give me the benefit of the doubt that I was doing the best I could, with the tools I had available in the moment I was in at the time. Ok? 

My views on terms like ‘fat’, ‘overweight’, ‘obese’ are not something that you can possibly extrapolate from a single comment on a single post in a moment in time. It’s goes even deeper than what I’ve touched on here, with more complexity and facets than I can cover in what is already a ridiculously long post. 

For me it is a very personal journey and a work in progress. Being ‘progressive’ and having ‘body positivity’ isn’t just using the term ‘fat’ to describe yourself. It doesn’t make you more woke. It does go deeper than that.  It’s also not something that I’m open to debating, especially with some random anon person.

Hopefully this has cleared up any questions you have about my views on being “anti-fat” and my views on body positivity. 

TL:DR -  if I use the word overweight, and that doesn’t apply to you, you don’t have to use it. You don’t have to even see it. Just block me.

#fat #body positivity #fatphobia #anon

[tessandscottforever18]

How Camila Cabello Advocates for the Planet and People Everywhere

When you think of Camila Cabello, you likely think of the confident pop star who holds the world at her fingertips. After all, she’s a powerhouse in the global music scene, snapping up music awards for dance hits like “Havana” and “Señorita” year after year.

But focus only on her music career and you may miss out on Cabello’s personal side, the one you can glimpse not only in the cute videos she and boyfriend Shawn Mendes share on social media, but also when she uses her platform to speak out on global issues, encouraging others to take action for the good of the world.

At the beginning of 2020, for example, Cabello was gearing up for her Romance Tour — scheduled to take place in countries throughout Europe and North America in support of her second studio album, Romance. But as the COVID-19 pandemic spread around the world, Cabello canceled the tour.

"We can't start rehearsals without putting people at risk and with so much up in the air with no real and definitive end in sight, I feel this is the responsible thing to do," she wrote in an Instagram post.

Instead, Cabello participated in Global Citizen’s Together At Home Instagram Live concert series, encouraging fans to take action and help stop the spread of the coronavirus. She and Mendes performed together, connected with fans to ask how they’re doing while social distancing, and even discussed proper handwashing technique.

“This is a crazy time, and we're all going to come out of this together, we're going to pull through, and we're going to try and connect and make each other smile in the meantime,” Cabello said.

A month later, in April 2020, she and Mendes joined Global Citizen's One World: Together At Home global broadcast special to honor frontline health care workers, performing a cover of "What a Wonderful World."

When she’s not releasing new albums, starring in the new Cinderella film, or taking over the streets of LA with an impromptu musical number, Cabello is just a regular person who knows the importance of doing the right thing, even when it’s hard, to generate real change in the world.

That’s why she’s joining Global Citizen Live, a once-in-a-generation, 24-hour global event on Saturday, Sept. 25, and performing in New York City’s Central Park as part of our campaign to defend the planet and defeat poverty.

And by advocating for sustainability, as well as demanding equity for people everywhere, Cabello wants to normalize taking action for her fans, too.

How Camila Cabello Defends the Planet

The pop singer knows that climate change is a serious threat to all people — and that the most vulnerable among us are going to suffer unless we do something to curb our CO2 emissions.

That’s why she’s taken it upon herself to pay attention to how her individual choices impact the environment. She also uses her voice to uplift eco-warriors around the world who are educating the public on the climate crisis.

The fashion industry generates at least 5% of global greenhouse gas emissions, from manufacturing to disposal. But as long as consumers continue supporting fast fashion, these numbers aren’t going to go down and can have devastating consequences.

Cabello took to TikTok to share her love of sustainable practices, featuring a pair of Allbirds tennis shoes. Allbirds are crafted from eucalyptus tree fiber and Brazilian sugarcane.

"Shoutout to my new Allbirds, a sustainable shoe brand,” she captioned the video. “Not an ad, I just love sustainable clothing."

With a loyal fan base and massive platform, Cabello’s ability to spread the news about eco-friendly clothing items can influence people around the world to pay attention to their own consumer choices. But she also uses her social media clout to support the work of world-renowned climate activists.

In 2017, Cabello tweeted at followers to tune in to An Inconvenient Special, a televised town hall that featured former United States Vice President Al Gore in conversation with young people about climate change. Connecting the climate crisis to her home city of Miami — which is especially vulnerable to extreme weather events — Cabello raised awareness about the TV special to engage Global Citizens in climate action.

Outside of caring for the planet and all of its inhabitants, Cabello takes action on other issues affecting people around the world. She starts by advocating for herself, speaking up about the importance of mental health and how she’s learned to heal.

Advocating for Mental Health Awareness

Amid months-long lockdowns, social distancing regulations, and a shared grief as the world mourns over 4.5 million people lost to COVID-19, the pandemic has taken a serious toll on mental health.

Celebrities like Cabello have the opportunity to speak up about taboo subjects like mental health that don’t get enough attention due to stigma and ignorance. By sharing her own struggles with mental illness, Cabello has chosen to advocate for others and let them know that it is OK to not be OK.

“Before lockdown I was burnt out. I was living with a really high amount of anxiety. It was too much and it was not sustainable. I felt like I was running with a broken leg but I wasn’t really listening to how I felt,” she said during an interview with Page Six. “I know now I have to take care of myself. No one is going to know when I’ve reached a limit other than me, so I have to take care of myself in that way.”

The singer has also made a point to advocate for others. She teamed up with nonprofit Movement Voter Fund to launch the Healing Justice Project, an initiative that provides funds for mental health and wellness resources to support youth activists and organizations making the world a better place.

Cabello shared the work of the 10 grassroots organizations on Instagram to introduce the project earlier this year.

“These organizers work tirelessly to create a positive impact, but the work can be exhausting,” she wrote in an Instagram caption. “Over the next few months, these incredible activists are going to come on my page to share about their work and how they are prioritizing self-care and healing during these really challenging times.”

A Role Model for Girls Everywhere

Utilizing her platform for good has always been a central part of Cabello’s fame. Her hard work and social impact make her an ideal role model for young women, which is why it was an easy decision to cast her in the new Amazon film adaptation of Cinderella.

In this adaptation, the princess is looking for more than marriage; she's a talented clothing designer who wants to travel the world. Determined, hard-working, and passionate, Cabello’s Cinderella focuses less on love and more on living the life she truly desires, fighting gender stereotypes to inspire girls.

Cabello also understood the responsibility her role held, particularly as a Cuban Mexican American woman playing a traditionally white and blonde character.

“We’ve never seen that representation before,” Cabello said in an interview. “It’s just an honor.”

The singer has had to battle judgments from others concerning her looks and personal life. But she hasn't stayed silent or let the haters influence her self worth. Instead Cabello consistently stands up for herself to show women and girls that they are beautiful and worthy in their own right.

After fatphobic headlines and comments targeted Cabello’s body shape, she posted a video on TikTok to remind people that “being at war with your body is so last season.”

“I am grateful for this body that lets me do what I need to do,” she said in the video. “We are real women with curves and cellulite and stretchmarks and fat, and we gotta own that, baby!”

No matter where her career trajectory takes her — from promoting her solo albums to representing women in movies and on stage — Camila Cabello won’t forget to advocate for others on today’s most pressing global issues.

That’s why she’s taking the stage with other all-star musicians and activists in New York on Sept. 25 for Global Citizen Live.

Join Cabello in taking action to defend the planet here.

#camila cabello #global citizen live #global citizen

[thevirgodoll]

Hi love, I need some advice. I dress extremely nice and beat my face consistently but close family are like you’re so pretty but could lose some weight and things along that line. I haven’t posted on social media in years and get anxiety when people take photos of me due to this. I even feel uncomfortable in a room of people worried some one may notice my chubby face or my arms that are a little bigger than other girls. I think it’s why no guy has ever liked me. I just want to love myself:(

Listen to me closely. I have absolutely no idea what you look like but I’m about to keep it real.

You’re beautiful, so let’s begin there. I won’t argue with you on this because I can tell. It’s not corny stuff or anything. Only beautiful people with beautiful souls come to my blog. Period. I make the rules.

So, I commend you for being so vulnerable and I will sit here and write.

Just because your family is related to you by blood, doesn’t mean they should always be listened to. Sometimes, things said can be emotionally painful to hear. Backhanded “compliments” such as the one you described, “you’re so pretty but you could lose weight”, are disgusting to me. I don’t care who it is. Uncalled for.

It has slowly eaten away at your self esteem and this is what I would truly like for you to consider. Immediately.

1. Continue to beat your face and dress impeccably like you’ve been doing.

People see you looking good and automatically comment negative, backhanded things. It is going to happen due to jealousy, projected insecurities or projected fears. Do NOT let this stop you from looking as good as you’ve been looking. I’ve gotten hater comments before because I dress well and do my makeup tastefully, and I promise you I kept going — because it made ME feel good which brings me to point 2.

2. It doesn’t matter what THEY think — what do YOU think?

You are the one who has to sit with you at the end of the day. Anxiety can be so draining, and I used to struggle with it badly when I was younger. I had to slowly realize that people were NOT thinking the thoughts that I was thinking. We are always more critical of ourselves than anyone else can be. Let’s keep this in mind, angel.

Tune out anything that is noise. This may include filtering comments that eat at your self esteem. Next time someone comments on your weight, you say, “Well I’m happy with myself, so you should be happy for me.” Period.

3. Speak to yourself differently.

What do you tell yourself? And what have you been telling yourself? How you may feel on one day — insecure — is an emotion. Your emotion about yourself is not a fact. It’s an error in cognition that has continued over time. Things are not as black or white as anxiety makes it, I promise. “I look good OR I look completely ugly and fat” is black or white thinking. This is not healthy, and it needs to stop.

You must speak to yourself more gently. Just based on what you’ve said, a negative body image has been ingrained in you. You have to begin to appreciate your looks all over again.

Your thoughts make it hard for you to be true to yourself. Your mind has to be a good place to be, because you’re there everyday.

I need you to begin to work on nurturing the parts of you that your intrusive thoughts might’ve wrecked. This is not an easy process, or a quick solution. I always, always say on my blog confidence post that if you affirm it, you’ll believe it:

•My curves make me remarkably beautiful and unique.

•I am beautifully and wonderfully made.

•No one looks like me, because I am a one of a kind beauty.

Write post it’s to put on your mirror. Make a list of the things you love about yourself. I’m serious. It sounds cliche but these are things we have abandoned as we have gotten older.

The simple things we would’ve thought of as children, we abandon. Speak to yourself with the love of a child. Foster that inner child connection, because she needs you.

4. Work on comparing yourself less.

This is not easy, but comparison doesn’t take positive root in your life. It never will. you said that you’re bigger than other girls as if it’s a negative. I need you to translate it to positives. You can appreciate that you have a different body shape than other women. That is okay. You said you dress well, so continue to show it off.

This may mean consuming media that speaks more to you. When it’s time to work on myself, I get off social media that isn’t like Tumblr or Pinterest or motivating Youtube videos. I do not rest until I’ve reached a different goal each day. I put on the Forest app from the App store and block all my apps and focus on journaling or whatever I need to do to improve myself day to day.

It just sounds like you need to spend more time with yourself, and reconnect with loving yourself all over again. Rediscover the things you love about yourself. This is a process, but you know yourself best and what you love to do. Get back into maybe some hobbies that make you feel even more confident and go from there — and if you don’t have any find new ones.

Also, do not worry about guys. That will come later.

People will always be there to love you and admire you. Love isn’t going anywhere. But you have to do these things first so they can understand how you’re to be treated. If you’re retreating into yourself, and hating yourself, it’s going to be harder.

You deserve to be happy. It starts now. Now let’s stop defeatist talks and let’s flourish. I hope this gives you a bit of a boost and if it’s not enough I have posts on confidence and sexual confidence. 💕

#advice #answered #mental health #confidence

[clingylilhoneybee]

Oops we about to have another rant on this because ya girl is HEATED!

First off pls don’t read if the discussion of eating disorders, size/fatness and/or intentional weight loss are triggering to you

STOP FUCKING SEXUALIZING BIGGER PEOPLE FOR BEING BIG WHEN THEY DIDNT CONSENT TO IT!!!!!!! As most of y’all who have spent any decent span of time on my blog knows, I’m a bit of a bigger girl. Because of this, my posts (some more than others) get picked up on blogs who in some way or another fetishize my size/the amount of fat on my body. I wish I could have an issue with this without justifying myself but it appears that may be too much to ask. First off, I’m currently trying to lose weight, which has been an uphill battle for a multitude of reasons (birth control, limited access to healthy food, messy relationship with food, etc). You have no clue how fucking disheartening it is to finish a workout and check my blog to see some feeder blog putting a picture of me alongside women significantly larger than myself (I say this with absolute love and acceptance for all body types, I have just simply noticed that I tend to be on the smaller end of what feeders choose to reblog).

I am also someone who is in eating disorder recovery. For those who don’t know, for a lot of people this is an ongoing process that extends far beyond eating the right amount, as eating disorders are just as much of a mental issue as a physical one. For reference, without getting into too triggering of territory, I am currently almost double the weight I was at the worst point in my health, so this size is already something very new and very difficult some days to accept. As a result, I have a VERY long road to body positivity as it concerns myself. Some days are obviously better than others, but ultimately there is a very strong connection in my brain that connects my size with my self worth. Even if the sentiment is positive, calling attention to my size, especially by putting me on a blog because of my size, is going to tap into that connection my brain has created. On my bad days, I have had full on breakdowns seeing my body being fetishized for being fat, and this is after being in recovery for around 4 years. Because I have this connection in my brain, no amount of “I love fat people” and “fat people are sexy” is going to affect that. That being said, some of you guys really have to realize that words like “fat” do have a negative connotation in the majority of society, and you cannot change that just because you decided to be attracted to it, so it should not come as a surprise that people have an issue with you calling them fat. I am fully aware I have a ways to go in accepting and hopefully loving my body for what it is, even at the size it is currently, but until I get there, it is harmful to my mental well-being for someone to look at my body and openly note that the main thing they see when they look at my body is how big it is. I know some of the people running these blogs may mean well, but you guys really need to acknowledge the impact you can have on someone’s wellbeing.

#honestly might pin this post so I stop ranting about it #this is just my most coherent one #i’m sorry y’all #but fat ‘positivity’ isn’t positivity when it’s only fetishization and you push labels on to people who don’t want them #maybe someday I’ll be comfortable with the label of fat #and completely lose the internalized issues I have with the word #but until then you can’t just decide I should be okay with it

[barnesbabee]

reading your post kinda triggered me in a way bc i’m at the biggest, heaviest i’ve ever been and struggling to accept how i now look when i was a slim and healthy 112lbs for a long time but also i was still in my teens then and now i’m 23… i have people tell me that because i’m a woman now my body will change and that bc i’m of mixed heritage i will also inherit genetic traits from my black side like having curves, a ‘fuller figure’, bigger butt… but i don’t really know what that means or how to interpret that when people say those things to me… am i supposed to accept the weight gain? is this how my body is supposed to look then? sorry for going on a rant, but i know that my weight gain didn’t come from nowhere, it came from being stuck mostly indoors for two years, depressed and feeding my sadness away because i love food, working and living from my in bed most days and from not being able to live my normal routine. where i would otherwise be more active and on my feet. but going on from your opinion of that tess holiday, i don’t know much about her but i know of her, and yeah it’s hard when i see bigger women promoting body positivity and doing those ‘what i eat in a day videos’ filled with unhealthy foods. and not stopping to think before they post about whether what they are doing is actually damaging to people that are suffering with ED’s and weight issues, i’m pretty sure i have been binge eating and it’s so unmotivating to try and get healthy, lose some weight, get more fit when i see overweight women like myself basically saying to accept myself and love myself how i am, and to eat “intuitively”, eat those sweets, fast food and be happy… without realising how harmful that can be and it’s not actually healthy positive messages. i just feel like some people profit off of their fatness by putting fake body positivity BS which other fat people love because it makes them feel better about themselves when really they may actually be a lot healthier and happier if they made lifestyle changes, changed their diets, did some exercise, bettered their mental health etc. this probably sounds like i hate fat people but I AM a fat person.

First of all I hope you're doing alright, if you ever need to talk my ask box and DMs are always open

The genetics part might be true, I'm Portuguese and we 'traditionally' have really large hips and most my friends have it but not everyone does, but it does not mean that because of genetics the weight gain is guaranteed, that is something you can (and should) control. The weight conversation is always awkward and uncomfortable because no one likes to have it but it's something we actively need to talk about, because obesity is becoming more common and with people normalising it and pretending its OK its very wrong.

And on your second point, that's EXACTLY what I meant! It's been normalised to just accept unhealthy lifestyles just because you 'do you' or bc you're 'beautiful the way you are' and while the last one might be true, people are much prettier out of the coffin. I don't thinkost of these influencers realize they're giving people mixed feelings about health, because it seems like a scapegoat to allow themselves to eat more, cause 'my body is beautiful anyways' and if anyone dares comment otherwise they're fatphobic. It doesn't work like that, these people are UNHEALTHY. They're giving their own bodies severe problems and risking their lives on a daily basis simply because they don't want to admit that there IS something wrong with being morbidly obese, and it has nothing to do with aesthetic, but with health. People are so obsessed with making statements and with making sure big bodies end up in magazine covers that they don't understand how destructive it can be to young girls who might be going down an unhealthy path.

And absolutely people benefit over being overweight, just look at nikocado avocado 💀 a whole mess

In the end of the day its your choice, and being healthy means you have to do sacrifices. Fit people and healthy people work hard for the life they have, and if you feel like you're unhealthy and you're diet isn't okay, then it's up to you to change it. It's not easy, but in my experience it's much easier to cut all off at once, than to just do it slowly. If you try dieting for one week and going on a walk every day, you'll see a difference in that week, I promise. Its not about aesthetic, it's about health