#this re-read really reminded me how much i love this series | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lamentationsofalonelypotato · 1 month

Text

You Call It Madness But I Call It Love

Chapter 13: You Made a Plaything Out of Romance

Chapter 13: You Made a Plaything Out of Romance

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy. This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter thirteen of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 7.3K (And every word hurts, except the beginning the beginning is nice and then it goes downhill)

Warnings: I'm going to label this one 18+. This one is sad guys. References to sex, Implied Sex, Nudity (lying in bed with someone the morning after), Brief explicit sexual encounter (it's like one sentence), Self-detrimental thoughts, Cursing, Drinking, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC, Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: This one took me a while to write, because it was painful. I can neither confirm nor deny that I cried when I wrote it. But I hope y'all hate it as much as I do.

*********************************************************

1984

Soft light from under your floral curtains kisses your face as you wake from sleep, your arms tightening around Ben with a happy sigh as the memories of the night before blanket you in a soft cocoon of love and warmth. You had imagined that night many times over the years you'd been with Ben, but none of them compared to the real thing.

A dull throb of pain coats your limbs and body, that serves as a gentle reminder of exactly how you spent the late hours and the early hours of the morning with Ben, but it was a happy reminder. The memories of last night were passionate and more wonderful than you could have imagined. All thoughts of leaving him wiped away by one night filled with love that was all you wanted for so long. Because now there wasn’t a point in leaving, now that you had the one person you’d wanted since you were eight, you’d never leave him ever again.

You can feel the soft drag of Ben's hand against your back, coaxing you into a peaceful glow of contentment. You were laying on his muscular chest, your head directly over his heart, listening to the steady beat, your arm wrapped in an possessive hold over his body and you never wanted to leave. You wanted to exist in this moment the rest of your life, laying here with the man who'd had your heart for so long, finally at peace and finally allowing yourself to show him how much you loved him and how much he meant to you. Apart of you couldn't believe that this was real, and was worried that you'll wake up and the bed will be cold and Ben will be gone.

"Good morning." Ben's voice rumbles up through his chest. He moves his free hand to push back some of the hair that has fallen into your face, a content smile gracing his perfect lips as he allows his hand to brush over your cheeks.

"Good morning." You smile, leaning into his touch, before you press a kiss directly over his heart. "How long have you been awake?"

"Not too long."

"You didn't want to wake me up?"

"No." He murmurs, his hand still stroking your back in a soft smooth motion, that trails sunshine down your spine. "You're cute when you're asleep.

"Only when I'm asleep?" You tease, propping yourself up so you can look in his eyes, your hair tickling over his chest and you're sure that you must look ridiculous, but you don't care.

He looks better this morning than usual, you decide, noting the sweep of his dark hair over his brow and the sleepy haze in his eyes. His lips are a little red and swollen from when you kissed him and you assume your own look the same.

"No." Ben shakes his head, slowly, smiling down at you, and you can't help but kiss him, brushing your lips against his and letting him set your nerve endings on fire. Ben's happy smile against your mouth makes you want to melt into him and never leave, to curl up inside his heart and let yourself be filled with the glow of his love. “How are you?”

“Good, better than good.” You tighten your arm over his chest. “Just a little sore-“ You smile against his lips.

You hadn’t meant it like a bad thing, if anything, you liked it a little bit, but judging by Ben’s reaction to those words you understood that he took it the wrong way.

Ben’s eyes widen, his own smile faltering. He grabs the blanket wrapped around your waist raising it, so his eyes can trace your body to look for bruises. “Did I hurt you?” Ben’s eyes lock with yours once more, voice tinged with worry in a way that makes your heart skip a beat.

“No you didn’t.” Your hand gently falls on his cheek to reassure him. “It was perfect.” For a second you're afraid you said too much, but then Ben’s crooked smile breaks something inside of you.

“Yeah, it was.” He whispers, turning to press a kiss to your palm.

The look in his eyes is soft, filled with so many unspoken things that it makes you dizzy. He’s never once looked at you like that and you know you’ll never get used to it. Because he’s looking at you the way you saw the elderly couple look at each other all those years ago, when you longed for the same thing to happen to you, longed for a man to look at you that way. And you’re sure you’re looking at him the same way, because now it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to hide how you feel about him. There’s no more frustration or anger, there’s only love that crashes over your head and pulls you out to sea with Ben.

“And It’s a good sore.” You smile sheepishly, cheeks blushing under his gaze. “I wouldn’t mind-um-getting used to it.”

“Oh really?”

You nod, hand still cupping Ben’s cheek.

“Huh.” Ben's smile turns into a mischievous smirk.

All of a sudden he flips you over so that you’re on your back with him hovering over you, smirk more pronounced than it was a few seconds ago. As he does so, your bed makes a terrible creaking sound and shifts to the right precariously on its last leg, literally.

You snort, pressing your lips together, body shaking with stifled laughs. Ben presses his head to your shoulder laughing too, the rich sound of his voice sending tingles down you spine. His eyes shine with laughter as he leans down to kiss you again.

“You owe me a new bed.” You mutter against his lips.

“I think we are both responsible for breaking it.” Ben's hands stroke along your sides, before he drops back down to kiss you.

“Well as slutty as you are I’d think that you would know how to avoid breaking one.” You tease raising a hand to brush his dark hair out of his eyes and Ben leans into your touch. You loved how he responded to you, it reminded you so much of how you felt whenever he touched you, like he couldn't get enough and he never wanted it to stop.

“Did you just call me a slut?” He pulls back with a frown.

“Yes. I did.” You laugh at his sullen expression.

Even when he frowns he's handsome. How did I get this lucky?

"You're lucky you're so cute." Ben sighs. “I’ve broken a few, but I will say I had the most fun breaking this one.”

His words make your heart thud madly in your chest in understanding. It confirms the thing that you had been thinking since you woke up, that last night meant everything to Ben too, that it wasn’t just sex for him. That he wanted to be there with you. And it made you smile wider.

Ben’s eyes are locked with yours, so much love and care slipping through his gaze that it makes you dizzy. “Next time we can break my bed. Just so we’re even.” He finishes capturing your lips with his, the words next time circling on your head on repeat.

You kiss him back eagerly, wanting to be lost forever in the warmth of the two of you together, because it’d finally happened, you’d finally gotten your Ben.

Your fingers scratch against the back of his head softly as you gaze up into his bright green eyes. You couldn’t believe it, after all these years he was yours, your best friend and now the man you love with all your heart. Your entire chest soars with emotion, smile stretching across your face so wide that you knew it probably wasn’t attractive but you couldn’t stop. You were so blissfully happy for the first time in years and you wanted to share that happiness with him the rest of your life.

“What?” Ben smiles down at you almost tenderly, so different than the way he looked when it wasn’t the two of you. One of his hands strokes the curve of your hip to bring your leg up to wrap around his waist the other brushes your wild tangles from your face, tracing the dips and curves of your cheek and jaw with a fingertip as if he wishes to commit each one to memory. He touches you with a reverence that you’d never imagine possible, a gentleness that is so different than Soldier Boy that it takes your breath away, like you’re a marble statue and he wishes to understand your beauty.

You move both of your hands to cup his cheeks feeling the wonderful scratch of stubble against the smooth skin, smile still firmly in place. And you finally say the three words that have haunted you since you were children. “I love you.”

Ben blinks. “What?”

“I love you Ben.” Your heart thuds madly in your chest remembering the past 24 hours when he made you feel special and loved, just how you’d imagined it so many times.

You didn’t think you’d ever be able to stop smiling, ever be able to stop feeling so warm as if you were catching fire.

Ben doesn’t move, his muscles tensing.

“Ben?” You’re still smiling, hoping that he’ll say it back, expecting that. Because how could he not? How could he not and be so caring and attentive? How could he make love to you like that, hold you close, take care of you after, dance with you, buy you a thoughtful gift, and take you out for your birthday each year and not love you? How could he look at you like you were the only person in the world and not feel the same way?

“I-“ He looks at you earnestly eyes soft in the morning light, his touch warm against your cheek, as if drinking you in. "I-" But then the softness in his green eyes is gone replaced by a familiar hardness that makes the warm feeling evaporate in your chest. Ben glances at the alarm clock on your bedside table. “Fuck is that the time?”

“What?” You ask confused by the change.

“I have a meeting with Legend.” He rolls off of you, pulling his face from your hands, and out of bed making it buck and shudder, not embarrassed by his nakedness. It was like he suddenly needed to be as far away from you as possible, and it was like someone dropped a bucket of ice water over your head.

You sit up, clutching the blankets to your chest in confusion. He moves around the room trying to find his clothes where you practically ripped them off his body last night.

“You do? I thought you just had the premiere tonight?”

Ben never scheduled things the same day as a premiere. He liked to spend the early part of the day drinking and imbibing in whatever he wanted so he didn’t have to be sober when he got there. He didn’t like to deal with the reporters, fans, and other people sober. Honestly, you didn't either, but you'd rather acquire a buzz while you were there, rather than before.

But today was different. You were hoping that this time it meant you and Ben would spend the next hours together enjoying one another before you had to go, spending as much time together in bed as possible. Hoping that at the premiere maybe you could announce your relationship, not that the press deserved that, but after all these years you wanted people to know that Ben was yours and you believed that he would be happy to say that you were his. Especially given what he had said before taking you to bed.

“No. I’ve got to talk to him about some shit for that thing in Nicaragua. That fucker Stan is gonna be there-“ Ben walks around the room picking up articles of clothing and refusing to make eye contact with you.

“Are you sure? I thought we could go to that diner on the corner and get some breakfast.“ You try to catch his eye, but Ben turns away as if he's looking for his shoes, hard to believe given the fact that they were sitting in the opposite direction. "You really liked it last time-"

“Sorry baby I can’t.”

The nickname “baby” is like taking a bullet to the chest. Ben never called you that, Sweetheart yes, Doll, yes, but never baby. It was reserved for the other women. The endless cycle of women that Ben bedded and then never talked to again. It was his way of putting distance between them and him and you knew that better than anyone. And the fact that he called you that made uncertainty pulse in the back of your throat. You try to shake it off and try again.

“Oh well. You’re still picking me up for the premiere right? We always go together-“

“I’m not sure how long the meeting will run so I’ll see you there.” He won’t meet your eye as he pulls up his pants, the harsh sound of his zipper like a slap in the face.

“But Ben-“ Your start to say, your heart sinking.

“I gotta fucking go.” Ben snaps.

“Oh, Okay.”

He looks in your general direction one more time, not quite meeting your eyes, and not apologizing, but then he turns and leaves the room, not even taking the time to put on his shirt or his shoes.

What just happened?

When you finally force yourself to get out of bed to go to the bathroom, you see your reflection in the mirror, hair a tangled mass, lips bright red and swollen from Ben, and the prominent mark he left behind in the shadow of your jaw that marked you as his.

As you stand there examining your reflection, the pain of his rejection hits you all over again, causing you to crumble against the counter, hands tightening so hand in the marble vanity that it comes apart in your hands.

You weren't sure if it was a rejection, rather it was the abruptness of how he left that scared you. How easily he slipped back into the façade of Soldier Boy after spending the entire night with you and making you believe that every moment was special.

The memory of last night sends a wave of warmth through your body, goosebumps prickling against your skin. But this time a cold shock of the way he left strikes your heart.

Maybe he really did have a meeting. But then why did he have to leave immediately after I told him that I loved him?

The memory of how happy you were in that moment makes you cry harder, when you told him the one thing you'd longed to for so long, while he looked at you with so much love that it made you feel more happy than you ever had.

You knew that Ben had a difficult time expressing that and feelings in general, but the way he acted last night at dinner and after when he made love to you, spoke greater than that. He had to love you, had to care about you.

Didn't he?

*******************************************************

"Indigo over here!"

"Indigo who are you with tonight?"

"Indigo what do you have to say about the rumors of you and Noir being in a relationship?"

The questions are coupled with flashes of brilliant light as you wave and force a wide smile on the red carpet. Tonight Legend had insisted that you wear the new supe suit he had designed for you, the one that didn't require a hood and the only thing that hid your identity was a black eye mask that looked suspiciously like the red one Countess wore.

But you weren't focused on that, or the reporters, all you could think of was Ben.

He hadn't called and hadn't answered any of the three phone calls that you placed to his apartment at the time you guessed he would be home getting ready. You even left messages, but he still never called.

Each minute you stayed away from him you could feel the crack in your heart growing wider and wider. You still didn't understand why he did that, why he left as soon as you said the words you wished to for so long.

You had felt like a weight had lifted from your chest when you said them, wanted to live in the warmth that followed as you gazed up at the man you loved finally able to let him know how you felt.

And then he'd run away.

You'd spent the rest of the time before the premiere trying to convince yourself that it was a coincidence, that maybe he really did have a meeting with Stan and Legend about Nicaragua. But you wondered why you weren't told about it.

Stan had been making such a big deal about it, about what it meant to finally have supes help in the military. Not to mention Stan usually liked having you at those kind of meetings, because you were able to keep Ben calm.

So then that begged the questions: Why did Ben lie? Why did he run away?

As you weave your way through the crowded lobby of the movie theater you spot Ben up ahead, his back was to you, but then you freeze halfway to him. His muscular arm is wrapped around Countess's waist, pulling her into his side so tightly that her free hand is resting on the front of his supe suit in the middle of his chest where you had pressed a kiss to hours ago. He leans down to whisper into her ear and she laughs, before whispering something back that makes Ben's hand squeeze her hip.

All of a sudden you're transported back to your 16th birthday, when Ben showed up with Missy Callahan, who flaunted him right under your nose. But this is worse.

It's worse because you can't think of anything else but last night, when Ben kissed you, held you close, made you feel more loved and appreciated than you ever had. When he made every moment you spent together feel special, when he made you feel like you were the only woman in the world.

Tears build behind your eyes as you stand there staring at them, all the other patrons passing by in shades of multicolored dresses and suits, with the sound of Countess's laughter echoing in your ears.

When Ben and Countess walk towards the theater you follow, hoping to catch his eye, wishing that he would look at you. They choose their seats in the front row, Countess sitting down on Ben's left, and just as you try to sit on Ben's right, Gunpowder slides into the seat on Ben's right, your usual seat.

"I was actually going to sit there." You say, and this time Ben looks away from Countess to see you for the first time. You wait to see some kind of recognition in his eyes, see some semblance of the man you woke up with in your bed, but you see none of the warmth he had earlier.

He looks indifferent, and the frustration and anger makes tears burn behind your eyes, but you keep them down.

"Sorry Indigo. The director told me to sit here because I'm in the movie." Gunpowder shrugs, but he doesn't quite meet your eyes.

Each time this had happened in the past Ben would shove either Gunpowder or Countess out of the seat so you could sit next to him, even though he hated that you usually mocked whatever movie it was endlessly. But this time Ben does nothing, only sits there.

How can he do this? How can he act like nothing happened between us? How-

The next thought is lost in another wave of emotion that crashes over your head, but you refuse to cry in front of Countess, who is the only one really looking at you. Ben's eyes are on you, but they're cold, unyielding, nothing like the soft clover they were last night when he took you to bed and made you feel special.

"Ben can we talk?" You ask.

"I don't want to miss the premiere." He replies, taking a swig from the glass full of scotch in the cupholder between him and Gunpowder.

"I think this is more important-" You begin to say.

"You should find a seat. The movie is starting." Countess interrupts with a smirk, running her hand up Ben's muscular arm where it lays on the arm between their chairs. You watch the drag of her hand and you feel like the sixteen year old girl in the monstrosity of tulle watching the boy you loved dance with another girl, who made you feel ugly and fat.

You hadn't felt like that girl in a long time, especially not in the last 24 hours when Ben made you feel beautiful and sexy in the best way. The memories of the time you spent together flash through your mind. When each time he moaned your name made you proud to know that you could do that to him, that you could cause him to fall apart, that you could leave your mark on him, make him be lost in you the way that you were lost in his every caress.

Ben doesn't say anything as the commercials begin to play behind you on the large screen, only sits there allowing Countess to touch him.

"Um- yeah. I guess I should." You whisper, swallowing the ball of emotion before shuffling away to find a seat. It's several rows back, in the aisle away from them, next to someone who smells like they've bathed in whiskey.

And damn it all it does is remind you of Ben. Your eyes don't leave him and Countess where they sit and each time you watch them whisper and hear her giggle you feel yourself sink lower and lower into the pit of despair.

Finally when the movie is over you try to chase after Ben, to corner him because you want to know why he's doing this, why he's acting this way, why he's finally allowing Countess to have him the way that she always tried to in the past. The exact thing that he and you mocked her for late at night when the two of you were talking at your apartment. Ben hated her almost as much as you did, or you thought he did.

But he expertly avoids you, like he knows you're following him, given his super-hearing it didn't seem that far from the truth. You follow him through the theater and into the banquet hall where the afterparty is occurring, ignoring the clinking of glasses, the soft music from the band on the stage, and the laughter coming from the people around you who are too drunk already to remember any of this.

Something you wish you were, drunk that is. You didn’t want to forget last night, you just wanted to know why Ben was acting this way. You didn't want forget the way he touched you, the way he felt, the way he made everything else melt away so that it was just the two of you, exactly what you had longed for. You wanted to understand.

Because maybe I did misjudge what last night was, but I couldn't have. The memory of this morning before he left blankets your mind in a cocoon of warmth all over again. You don't look at someone like that, hold them close like that, agree that last night was perfect if it was just sex.

The thought made you irrationally angry.

"Indigo." You hear someone say and touch your arm.

"Huh?" You turn to see Dr. Vogelbaum. He was wearing a dark blue suit, perfectly tailored, with a red tie. Very patriotic, but also surprising. He had never seemed the type to want to come to one of these premieres. "Dr. Vogelbaum, I didn't know you were here."

"I thought I'd come and see what all the fuss was about." He smiles tightly. "Would you like to dance?"

"Um-" You look over the crowds of people dancing in the center of the room. You didn't feel like dancing, you still wanted to corner Ben, drag him away to another room where you could ask him what the hell was going on. He'd never done anything like this before, never iced you out even when he was really pissed off, he'd always find you.

So why was this any different? Was he angry? Upset by what I said? Why would that upset him? You think about how happy he looked when you were laying on his chest and how he leaned into your touch. I thought he’d be happy. He was happy up until I said “I love you.” So why would that change anything?

"I don't really feel like dancing-"

"Please, oblige me. A woman as beautiful as you shouldn't be here alone." Vogelbaum smiles as he pulls you onto the dance floor, ignoring your protests.

You begin to sway back and forth to the song, but everything feels wrong. It makes you think of last night, when Ben held you close and finally kissed you for the first time while your song played. And now this entire night feels like a mistake, last night feels like a mistake, everything that's happened the past forty years feels like a mistake.

He spins you away from him, and as you turn you see Ben. You didn't realize that he was standing on the edge of the dance-floor watching you and Vogelbaum. His arm is still wrapped around Countess, who is practically attached at the hip, talking with another woman in a long blue dress in front of her. You watch his jaw tighten as he takes in Vogelbaum’s hand placement, a dark look flashing in his eyes, but just as you try to identify it, Countess drags her hand up the front of his suit, grabbing his attention, and goes on tiptoe to whisper something in his ear.

How could I have been so stupid? You think to yourself watching him drop his gaze to her and smile. The thought makes tears burn against your eyes. You couldn't understand, couldn't understand why he was doing this, ignoring you and getting friendly with Countess. And you couldn't understand how he could shift from hot to cold so suddenly, how he could act like you were the only person he saw to not even looking at you, refusing to speak to you, acting cold and indifferent. Ben had never once done that to you, had never once acted that way, even when he was mad.

Vogelbaum pulls you back into his chest, but the way his body feels against yours is wrong. "He's quite the flirt isn't he?"

"Huh?" You look up from his tie.

"Soldier Boy." He's watching them over your head, but you don't want to look at them anymore, you don't want to watch Ben with Countess and feel ugly, feel like you weren't enough, feel like the girl who only had one friend and a mother she could never please.

"Yeah." You mutter.

"Legend mentioned that you were thinking about retiring." He continues oblivious to your current state.

The mention of your plan to leave makes you remember it. You hadn't thought about it since Ben picked you up for dinner the night before, when you had been drinking and finally decided to leave, to walk away from everything and do something for yourself.

And now you wished you had. You wished that you had slammed the door in Ben's face when he came to get you last night, wished that you had told him that you were leaving, and wished that you had been strong enough to say no to him. The memories of last night come back to you, how it felt to kiss him for the first time, how happy you were because you believed he loved you as much as you loved him, how he cared about your first time being special-

The tears are so close to falling now that your jaw is clenched together so tight that you think you hear the crunch of your teeth cracking.

"Yes. I'm retiring." You respond.

"Well, if you're looking for a change of pace I might have a job for you."

"I'm not really a scientist-"

"It wouldn't be a science job and I think you should come to the lab this week-"

"The last time I was in a lab, all this supe shit started." You snap before you stop yourself. "Forgive me for not wanting to have that happen again."

"It's not an experiment." He continues to sway the two of you back and forth. "I've been working on a project with Stan and we both thought that you could help us."

"How?"

"Well we've been focusing on the next generation of supes and what that will look like-"

"Next generation?"

"Yes. And I know someone that might benefit from meeting you. I've been working very closely with him and he needs a strong figure in his life, you have some things in common-"

"I'm not interested in being a babysitter."

"Why don't you just come by this week and meet him? I'm sure you'd hit it off-"

"I said I wasn't interested." You pull yourself from his arms. "I'm done with all of this."

"Indigo-" He reaches for your wrist.

"If you touch me again, I'm going to rip off your arm." You force a smile knowing that the cameras are still flashing, and say it low enough so that he is the only one that can hear.

Vogelbaum immediately moves back from you, putting as much space as he can and you turn back to where you saw Ben standing a few minutes ago, but he's gone.

You stand there in the middle of the dance floor for a minute, not sure what to do, so you decide to go to the bathroom to collect your thoughts. And you immediately regret your decision.

Before the door of the bathroom opens all the way you know, call it a feeling or a psychic premonition, but you do.

You wish you were wrong, but you knew Ben better than anyone, or at least you thought you did.

You can feel it in the air, hear the rapid beating of their hearts and the loud moans, smell the sour odor of sweat, but you're still not prepared for what's waiting for you. Countess's hands are braced on the white marble of the sink in front of her, Ben's hand fisted tightly in her hair, pulling her head back to where his face is buried in her throat, her own face contorted in an expression of pure ecstasy, with each snap of Ben's hips as he crushes her against the sink.

The bathroom door slams shut loudly behind you, drawing Ben's gaze to where you stand, your hands clenched tightly into fists, the skin pulled tight over your knuckles. He freezes and for a moment you think he looks sorry, but then it's gone, fading into the hardened expression he's had since you told him that you loved him.

You don't know what to feel, anger, frustration, heartbreak, and rage all form a white hot ball in the pit of your stomach. You have the sudden urge to throw up and also burn the entire building down to the ground, but you can't move, can't look away from where they stand.

"Baby why'd you stop." Countess gasps, reaching back with a hand for Ben, but he steps away from her, to zip up his pants. Countess finally looks over at where you're standing and smirks. "Oh hey y/n. I didn't know you were here."

Her face is flushed red, almost the same color of her hair as she reaches down for her pants and drags them back up her body. The proud look in her eyes makes you snap your jaw together to fight the urge to rip her in half.

“There are private rooms for that.” You keep your voice as monotone as possible, pushing down the heartbreak and the anger that burns against your skin.

“It’s much more fun when anyone can walk in. Don’t you think so Ben?” Countess reaches for Ben, but he shrugs her off.

You bite the inside of your cheek so hard that you taste blood, trying very hard not to lose control. You prided yourself on that, you hadn’t lost control in all your years as a supe.

Ben doesn't say anything.

“Get out.” You snap.

“I don’t think I will. We were in the middle of something-“ Countess's sultry smile widens. "Maybe you should leave so we can fini-"

Her body flies forward towards you, until her throat is clutched tightly between your right hand. “I’ve never liked you Countess. Other than a flash of light you're pretty worthless. Your powers the only thing that make you special, and I know that you need both of your hands to use them, right?" Your hand tightens on her throat and you know the next day she'll have bruises.

I should just kill her right now. Who would miss her?

She gasps for air, clawing against your hand, eyes wide. She'd never seen you lose control before, never seen you use your powers quite like this, and the fear in her eyes makes you feel better.

“So I suggest you get out. Before I rip them off and make you eat them.” You snarl before throwing her in the direction of the door behind you. She stumbles forward a step, placing a hand against the bathroom door as she catches her breath. When she turns back to look at you, her eyes are flashing with malice, but you can still see the pride under it all.

“Well I’ll see you two later. Hopefully we can finish what we started.” Countess smirks at you, recovering as she saunters out.

It takes an amazing amount of willpower not to drag her back into the room and rip her head off.

Ben adjusts his suit, not meeting your gaze. And for a second you think he looks guilty, but it’s gone as soon as you see it. His ridiculous helmet is laying on the floor next to him, probably took it off before-

Your jaw clenches together remembering what you walked in on.

“Ben why are you doing this?” You say, composing your voice as much as you can. You force yourself to look him in the eye, you want him to see how hurt you are.

“Doing what?” He crosses his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow.

"You’re pushing me away, avoiding me, and acting like last night didn’t mean anything-"

"It didn’t.” He states. Ben's jaw is clenched tight, shoulders tense, as he begins to slip back into the façade of Soldier Boy that he adopted after you both got the serum.

Tears burn against your eyes at his sharp tone. You let out a shaky breath. "I don’t believe you. You don’t act that way, kiss me, hold my hand, make love like that and then pretend it never happened.”

“We didn’t make love, we fucked.” He snaps eyes blazing. “Don’t turn this into something that it’s not.”

“I’m not just talking about the sex. I’m talking about dinner, the dancing, remembering my birthday, getting me pearls because you remembered I lost mine, the fact that you had them play the song we danced to when we were 18-“

“So?”

“Why are you acting like you didn’t do any of those things?”

“I’m not saying I didn’t do them. I’m saying that you’re being damn hormonal and reading into it.”

“I’m not being hormonal!” You snap. “Are you really telling me that you did all of those things just to get into my pants and that you don’t feel anything for me? That what I said to you this morning meant nothing to you? After everything we’ve been through-“

“Everything we’ve been through?” Ben spits, suddenly angry. “All I know is for the last 40 years you’ve been getting in my way. You think I care about you? I don’t care about anyone! I’m Soldier Boy. I’m America’s first fucking superhero. And I could never care about someone like you. You’re pathetic. You’re always here, fucking with my decisions, following me around like a fucking lovesick puppy, standing in my damn way with those fucking stars in your eyes, trying to remind me of who I was before and I wish you would just fuck off!”

Your own anger surges up to push away the heartbreak at his harsh words. “You say that I’m always here, but it was your idea for us to do this. You did this to me Ben. I’m here because you wanted me to be, because you needed me. And it’s you that keeps showing up at my apartment. I don’t make you come over!”

The memory of the night he asked you to come with him rises at the back of your mind. You remember how happy you were to go with him because you thought it was as close as he would get to admitting that he loved you, and you had hoped that if you went with him it meant that he wanted to be more. You were not remembering wrong, you remembered exactly what he said that night, you knew that he acted like he needed you. So why was he lying now?

“I never wanted you here.” He takes a step forward, green eyes hardening. “I don’t fucking need you or anyone else. I’m not a pussy. I’m a man.”

Your teeth clench together in anger and frustration. “I don’t believe you. You say that you know all my tells when I’m lying, but I know yours too. So just tell me the truth!”

“That is the fucking truth. Are you too stupid to understand that? I don’t care about you, I never have!”

“Then why did you kiss me?”

Ben freezes.

“I didn’t initiate that kiss, you kissed me! You were the one that started whatever the hell happened last night!”

“So?”

“You’ve heard me talk about what I want. You addressed it at the table last night. You know that I want more than one night, you know that I want love, that I was willing to leave to find those things. I was ready to walk away from all of this Ben and then you fucked with my head. Did you kiss me and do those things because you thought it would keep me here with you? Because you can’t stand the thought of being alone?”

“I wouldn’t give a single fuck if you left. If you want to go then go. I won’t miss you and I’m not stopping you.”

“I don’t believe you and I don’t understand why you’re doing this, why you’re trying to push me away and act like you don’t care about me-" You shake your head in frustration.

Ben advances on you, grabbing your shoulders so tightly you know there will be bruises. Ben never touched you when he was angry, sure he’d stare you down, but Ben never did anything to harm you. It’s why you were never afraid of him, because Ben didn't want to hurt you. Even this morning you remember how worried he'd looked when you said you were sore, when he thought that it mean he hurt you. Ben cared about you. You knew he did.

But for him to do this was shocking and you can’t fight the shudder of fear that creeps along your spine.

“You mean nothing to me.” He growls. “You’re just another woman with a warm pussy. That’s all you are. I fucked you because you needed someone to and I thought it might as well be me. I don’t care about you. I never did. And I could never love some one like you. So get the fuck out of my way.” Ben pushes you from him so harshly that you fall back against the wall.

The memory of what your mother shouted at you the night you told her you were going with Ben settles over your mind.

“You really think that disappointment will ever love you? Care about you? You are nothing to him, just another plaything. And the day he finally tosses you away, don’t bother coming back here.”

Your mother's words were harsh, cut to the quick. You hated to admit it, but she was right. You understood that now, understood that the last forty years and all the years of your friendship had been a lie.

Ben didn't care about you, probably never did, he just saw you as a tool for his own amusement, and his harsh words were enough to make you realize that the boy you knew was gone and enough to jolt you into the new harsh reality.

Your hand flicks and Ben's body flies into the concrete wall on the other side of the bathroom hard enough to crack the solid cement. You find your feet, rising to your full height, hands glowing bright purple. The entire room trembles with the force of your anger, the mirrors shatter on the bathroom wall, raining down glass and metal onto where Ben sits stunned on the tile that has begun to crack and split with your display of power.

“That night you came to me I chose you. I chose you, Ben. I left everything behind for you because you asked me to. And I regret it. I regret every moment I have wasted caring about you and taking care of you. I have made excuses for you my entire life. To my family, to society, to your damn team, and to myself. I have stood by you through all of this and I never complained because you were my friend. I was here before and after you decided to take the serum, when your father broke you, when your mother died, when you needed someone to sit with you because you couldn’t take the silence alone, but not anymore. I can’t do this. I can’t be the voice of reason or your fucking babysitter and I can’t be your damn conscience. I shouldn’t have to. You are a man after all, so do it yourself.” The tears are falling freely now, searing against your skin as they trickle down your cheeks. “I tried to cut you some slack because you were my friend Ben, and I loved you.” Your voice breaks when you use the past tense. “But maybe that’s my fault, I romanticized you. I shouldn’t have but I did. I ignored so many things because I loved you but now, I’m fucking done.” You reach up to grab the pearl necklace around your throat, the one that you thought was ridiculous to wear with the supe suit, but the one you kept on because you wanted to remember last night and rip it off, sending the pearls rolling in every direction.

Because now you just wanted to forget it all, forget your friendship, forget the years you spent together, forget all the nights he spent in your bed, forget last night, and forget him.

Ben stands from the ground, brushing off his supe suit and for a second you think he’s going to say something, but he doesn’t.

“I can’t do this with you anymore. I can’t stand by and watch you do this to yourself, embrace whatever the fuck kind of person you are now. I won’t. I never want to see you ever again. And the next time you touch me, I’ll kill you.” You turn to go, but then you stop short of the door. “You once told me that you never wanted to be your father, you wanted to be better than him. Funny. After all this time you still became him.” You spit.

You throw open the door and storm out as the mindless drone of people talking, glasses clinking, and buzz of music settle over your ears. But you don’t hear it, all you hear is the harsh words of the only man you’d ever loved and the feeling of your heart breaking in your chest.

*******************************************************

A/N: Well this one was very sad and I hate myself for putting the reader through this. Let me know what y'all think :)

Thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to the taglist let me know :)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303 @deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs @bughill126, @simplyfixated @sleepjam, @tiredstrangerr @freefallthoughts,@onlyangel-444 @lov3vivian @mxltifxnd0m @mayafatimakhan @marvel-mistress

#soldier boy x you #jensen ackles soldier boy #soldier boy #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy fanfiction #soldier boy/ben #soldier boy fic #jensen ackles #the boys amazon #the boys fanfic #jackles #the boys #the boys season 3 #the boys series #the boys tv #the boys s3

156 notes · View notes

telomeke · 7 days

Text

WANDEE GOODDAY EPISODE 2

WDGD Ep.2 was a pleasant enough watch, continuing the lightness of Ep.1 and laying the groundwork for the episodes to come.

It's too early to be sure in what direction they're going to be taking this series, so I'm not looking too closely at things just yet.

And I've never gotten a sense that Director Golf has quite the same penchant for intellectual gamery that other directors (like Khun Aof Noppharnach) have, so WDGD might turn out to be not much more than a straight-up recounting of a romance (and that would be fine too). Nonetheless we are getting glimpses (little sparks really) of details tucked in here and there that suggest the series may yet narrate other messages on a deeper level in future episodes.

Director Golf is known for their political awareness (having spent time as the first trans politician in the Thai Parliament's House of Representatives), and this leaning was abjectly manifest when they directed The Eclipse. I'm not seeing the same heavy-handedness in WDGD though (and I think that's a good thing).

Part of me is wondering if the highly unusual method of determining who gets the orthopedic scholarship (patients and staff will get to vote on this, really? 👀) will re-surface later as a comment on the Thai political situation (always a rollicking ride). No guarantees, but odds are pretty good on this one.

Just a reminder that Khun Golf was ejected from Parliament through the application of a controversial law (banning lawmakers from having shares in any media companies), the same one I think that was also used to help obstruct Pita Limjaroenrat from becoming PM even though his Move Forward Party won the most votes in last year's election (it's also Khun Golf's political party). So any time the democratic electoral process gets referenced in a Thai BL (see this example linked here), the chances are high that the canvas is being primed for a political painting of some sort.

Anyway, just some light-hearted observations for now:

The novel that WDGD the series is based on is (by most accounts) quite trashy and throwaway, but you wouldn't know it watching Episodes 1 and 2 so far. The set-up out the starting gate was so squarely and comically blue-collar v. white collar, brawn v. brains, half-naked sweaty men v. lavender-scrubsuited physicians that I wasn't expecting to get much more than a shallow good time with a lot of tittering at man tits and macho tushies. But they've elevated the source material, imbuing it with a gentle sentimentality and treating the sexual element with humor and good sense (e.g., the condom and lube talk in Ep.1, and the discussion between YY and Dee establishing the ground rules for their Friends with Benefits arrangement). Quite impressively done, especially considering the lightness of its touch.

(above) Wandee Goodday Ep.2 [4/4] 6.28 – YY and Dee discuss the ground rules for their Friends With Benefits arrangement, against the backdrop of a neon sign that loudly proclaims "Less Expectations More Satisfaction" (which is, of course, the most basic ground rule for any FWB liaison)

‌

About that sentimentality: WDGD's glowing emotional core continues to take the unlikely form of Yoryak, and Great seals the deal with his performance in Wandee Goodday's quieter moments.

(above) Wandee Goodday Ep.2 [3‌/4] 2.23 and the return of the wet towel trope – Yoryak and the neon sign above the bed demonstrate together how love in action speaks louder than words

The tough kickboxer has fallen hard for Dee, and you can really read the tender pining behind his muay thai bravado. (I think he does lovelorn yearning better than outright lust though.)

(above) Wandee Goodday Ep.2 [3‌/4] 3.53 – Yoryak plants a little sniff-kiss as he embraces a barely-conscious Dee in bed; he's fully-clothed, yet far more naked and vulnerable than when they were actually having full-on sex before

There's surely going to be emotional devastation in store for Yak because a Friends With Benefits arrangement soon becomes a wrecking ball to the heart if you're unlucky enough to have caught feelings. And things can only get worse for our dear boy once he and Dee enter into their fake dating phase. Can you imagine coping with all that physical intimacy and also having to display emotional intimacy in public, but then being forced to deny it in private where you want it the most? Only pain looms on the foreseeable horizon for our macho fighter (su su na!), but it should make for some mightily delicious and pleasurably guilty viewing as he journeys through it all (if only for the payoff at the end; Golf please don't fail us! 😬).

‌

There have been cameos and callbacks galore in just these two episodes. The hospital is named Tanwarin, which is also Director Golf's formal first name and this may mean they've cast themselves in the role of a healer here, with this series.

There are also the clips of The Eclipse that our boys watch onscreen (possibly foreshadowing some more political commentary to come).

And screenwriter Yokee Apirak Chaipanha (who also did The Eclipse with Director Golf) guests as Dr. Apichart, the head of the Orthopedic Department.

Of course Ep.2's Café for All is also a callback to The Eclipse (it was prominently featured in there as well, with Director Golf in a cameo as the black-and-white clad proprietor/server).

(top) The Eclipse – Ep.4 [3‌/4] 4.31; (bottom) WDGD Ep.2 [3‌/4] 7.28

And my read then was that The Eclipse, just like the café with Khun Golf at the helm, was meant as a welcoming, non-judgemental space for reflection on LGBTQ+ issues. Possibly the same is being said for WDGD here, though its general unseriousness doesn't seem quite the same or even an appropriate forum for any discussion of weight. Perhaps like in the second appearance of Café for All, what's being served up here in WDGD seems to be less heavy drama and more fluffy confection. Not that there's anything wrong with that! 🍰👍

‌

Another possible cameo that's caught my eye – the oft-referenced, once heard but never seen Dr. Nop.

(above) Wandee Goodday Ep.2 [2/4] 0.50 – Yoryak looks disappointed when the nurses tell him they've switched his physician from Wandee back to Dr. Nop (while his t-shirt proclaims "Heart Melt")

I can't help thinking that this is a reference to Aof Noppharnach Chaiyahwimhon, who's on hiatus from GMMTV directorial duties for the time being. He's cameo'd as a Nop before (see these write-ups linked here and here) and this may be a reference to his being unseen, but still acknowledged and not unheard during his present time off (I've written about possible reasons for his time away, in this write-up linked here).

‌

Others have pointed out before I could do it, but yes cleaning the refrigerator does refer to rimming in Thai slang. 😂

(above) Wandee Goodday Ep.2 [4/4] 9.33 – YY turns up at Dee's unit 609 (possibly a reference to 609 Bedtime Story, that was also created by Director Golf and screenwriter Yokee Apirak) appropriately togged out with a gas mask, goggles and bodysuit, all ready to give Wandee's "fridge" a thorough scrub and rub

This thread on the Pantip forum (linked here) explains the term. And the same thread also explains that washing the dishes can mean either sloppy seconds or oral, which lends weight to Li Ming's laang jaan comeback to Jim as payback for infantilizing him during the market scene in Moonlight Chicken:

‌

OK, so I didn't find anything truly earth-shaking about WDGD Ep.2, but that's typically the case for second and third episodes in any series while they set things up for plot developments to come.

Still, Wandee Goodday is already glowing with a comforting warmth, peppered with light comedic turns even as it foreshadows darker shifts in the future. I hope they build on the solid foundations of Episodes 1 and 2, and serve up the remaining ten episodes ripened to their fullest potential (because there's lots in there they can play with). Here's to hoping! 🥰

‌

#wandee goodday

80 notes · View notes

pinegreenapples · 1 month

Text

Radiostatic Fic Recs

Do you like radiostatic? Are you looking for something good to read? Here are some of my personal favorites that I think everyone should read! As a reminder, if you don't like something listed, just don't read it! And don't bother the author or me! Staying in your lane is free! 😊

Finished works

Read 'Em and Weep

Vox and Alastor are on the cusp of a relationship but Alastor worries that he isn't enough for Vox. Val interferes. Now a series!

Get Your Thrill Just to Get At Me

Alastor experiences a rut for the first time and Vox refuses to waste good dick on a panic attack.

Hold Me Like A Grudge

This one's ABO and pretty much just smut. Suppressants fail all over the city! Guess we gotta fuck!

Put Your Fingers Back to the Keys

Alastor gets publicly summoned by Lilith and Vox searches for him.

Escape Was Just a Nod and a Casual Wave

This one's a really cool predator/prey fic where Vox chases Alastor.

Keep You Like an Oath

Alastor sneaks into V Tower and discovers Vox's video logs. It causes a revelation.

Lucidity's Fog

Vox has one final sex dream of him and Alastor together.

How to Commission a Radio Demon Body Pillow (and other assorted things)

This one is based off a tumblr ask thread about Vox having an insane amount of Alastor paraphernalia. It's funny, but it is one-sided.

Would You Download a Demon?

Alastor tells Vox and Rosie that he sold his soul. Vox does something so stupid, it's smart.

Classic and Better

Oooohhhhoooo, this bad boy is what made me start writing again. The characterization of them is so good and I love it so much. Alastor tempts Vox back into his folds and Vox follows blindly.

Once Bitten, Twice Shy

Alastor lays claim to Vox by biting him. This one is short and sweet.

Couple's Therapy

This one was funny and sadly too short. Modern day Alastor and Vox decide to go to therapy as a joke and it actually makes them realize a thing or two.

Bambi

I love this piece. It's cute! Vox and Alastor have two different versions of Bambi-their clashing interpretations lead to an adorable misunderstanding.

Joking Matters

Vox and Alastor got married to consolidate their power and have kept their relationship a secret since.

Obligations

Vox trades for Alastor's soul but it isn't at all like how he wanted. They both cope in their own ways.

Meant to Be Yours

This one's one-sided. Vox gets rejected and takes it really badly. An excellent piece exploring his side.

Bargains

This one is also so so so good. Alastor has a rut cycle and the only person who knows is Vox. However, Alastor hates that he has a rut and takes it out on Vox. Vox just wants to know what Alastor actually wants.

Spite

This one is delicious. It's based off the first episode where Alastor says he pulled a few strings to get the commercial to air. Vox demands that he act in a porno for blackmail.

Just a Slave to Your Instincts

Vox researches deer instincts and uses it very effectively against Alastor.

That One Tuesday

Similar premise to Classic and Better but it involves more of the Hazbin cast and the main plotline of trying to redeem sinners.

Vox and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Afterlife

This one is light on the relationship but funny. Basically, every rut Alastor goes fucking nuts and takes it out on Vox. However, no one believes him and they think he's going crazy.

666: Live on Air!

An excellent series that does a good job exploring the push and pull between these two and what a relationship between them would look like with all their hang ups and miscommunications.

Seeking Solace

This story plays with Dom/Sub designations and Vox is a sub who hasn't dropped in too long. He calls Alastor to help.

Radio Made the Video Star

An excellent series exploring the arc of Alastor and Vox's first meeting, their subsequent fallout, and their re-connection as they are forced to work on a project together.

Thawing Out

Vox is in an abusive relationship with Valentino. Alastor finds him one night by accident when he's mulling over his relationship. For the first time, Alastor notices that something else might be going on at Vee Tower and he has these awful feelings about it that he can't seem to shake.

The Pitch

Vox swaggers into Alastor's radio tower to find out more about his newest pet project, he ends up limping out. Wink wonk!

Hypnosis, Live in your Bedroom!

This is inspired by the 666 hypnosis fic and it is quite good! It’s another smut piece of Alastor and Vox exploring his hypnosis.

Other Place

This piece is really sentimental. It made me cry and think about death. Basically, Alastor visits Vox on the anniversary of his mother's death and they talk through his many emotions.

This Wasn't on the Agenda

One-sided but funny! Vox and Alastor start a hissy fit in an overlord meeting about their brief sexual history together.

Staticradio Woodland Fun

This one's cutesy! Vox and Alastor are both mythical creatures experiencing rut and so they spend it with each other.

Feeling from Grace

Angel Dust comes to Alastor with some concerns about Vox’s wellbeing. Alastor manages to fuck it up, as he does all things regarding Vox and feelings.

Music on T.V. and Sex on the Radio!?

This one’s funny and sexy. After their little fight on air, Vox tracks Alastor down in his tower to have some good old fashioned fun.

Stay

Alastor can’t seem to let Vox go, even when Vox decides he can’t keep playing this game anymore.

Like Old Times

Alastor pays Vox a visit in his office after their musical spat to say hello.

Deer in the Backlights

This piece is nice in the way that it explores Vox finally getting closure from his obsession with Alastor. Val and Velvette set up a meeting for Vox and Alastor to finally fuck and get rid of their weird psychosexual tension. Vox wonders if this was really what he wanted all along.

198

This one is pure smut and it’s so delightful. Vox manages to mind break Alastor and turn him into his own personal sex toy. I also highly recommend anything by childishsadism, they write very compelling work!

Undisclosed Desires

Alastor and Vox get into another fight and Alastor finds he likes it a lot more than he thought he would.

To Be Yours

This is my own work! Alastor hears Vox open their personal frequency for the first time in years. Curious, he goes to find out why exactly Vox has chosen to break the silence.

Safe with Me

This one's good! It's a modern AU where Vox is a CEO and Alastor is a serial killer and podcaster. After separating as childhood friends, Vox and Alastor meet once again and find love with one another. Now a series!

Bluest Monday

This one is so well written and the romance between them is absolutely heart wrenching. Alastor fears losing Vox to modernity, so he finally accepts Vox’s courting in an attempt to keep the other at his side. This decision has unintended consequences neither could foresee. Now a series!

Unfinished works

Addicted

Addicted is really good. Vox finds out he's been drugged by Val for decades and as a result has long term amnesia. He runs away and tries to reckon with a past he can't even remember.

Hypnotic

This one is a rape fic. Vox hypnotizes Alastor against his will and forces him to recount his first sexual encounter as he has sex with him.

Prey of the Video Star

This one is really really good! After the battle, Vox takes Alastor back to Vee tower, determined to finally make the other his. Alastor, weakened, struggles the best that he can even as the noose tightens around his neck.

Equilibrium

Vox saves Alastor and accidentally creates a soulbond between them. This sets in motion a landslide of unexpected events between them.

The Answer is Yes

Okay, this one is extremely well written. It's a fascinating exploration of Vox and Alastor's relationship through a vignette style. It blends all sorts of memories with modern day and it's really cool. I like it a lot.

Hell’s Televisionary

This one is a really interesting take on Vox and his first few years in Hell. I’m really enjoying it! Vox is new to Hell and looking to make a name for himself. He’s also looking to reconnect with the elusive redhead that helped him when he first fell.

Rival Frequencies

Vox goes after Alastor after the extermination and patches him up. He discovers that maybe his feelings haven’t waned, and he tries to rekindle a friendship with Alastor again.

Tune On In!

This one is based off of an art post where Vox and Alastor got platonically married and details their life together.

Unraveling Emotions

Falling in love makes a sinner’s heart human again and their second death permanent. Vox has never stopped loving Alastor. Alastor makes a mistake and Vox nearly pays the price.

For my friends who liked my post, I hope this finds you!

@rae-does-stuff, @drakepad-luv-2000, @motherarts, @freakshowmemories, @bratpfanne-of-doom, @superpersonpatroleclipse , @nocakesformissedith , @coins-that-never-land , @matrixbearer2024, @dancingafterdark ,@pedi-bug , @starlightthenightwing , @unnecessarilysalty

#radiostatic #staticradio #staticlovetune

86 notes · View notes

lambtotheslaughterr · 18 days

Text

I Burn : Part Nine

A Rafe Cameron Mini Series

[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

WC: 3.6k

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

PART EIGHT | MASTERLIST | FINALE

IMPORTANT NOTE* hey ya’ll! just a reminder that my requests are OPEN. please read this POST before making any requests as i have rules in place. there are three spots left (which you will see at the bottom of the linked post). so get your requests in if you’re wanting to use me;p

You twirled in your hotel bathroom, admiring your dress in the mirror. A bright smile on your face. You were looking forward to the night. Your dad, having won his lawsuit against John a little over a month ago, was attending a charity gala & your mother was unable to attend as she was busy with work. So, your father had asked if you would be date. You happily accepted.

Ever since you left the facility two months ago, your relationship with your father had improved. He had made a complete 180 in light of Dr. Mooney’s assault charges. Your father had apologized to you, a genuine one, hugging you & holding you, promising he would never let another man let you down, let alone himself. It was all you could ever truly want, to be accepted by your father. Now, more than ever, your father-daughter relationship was thriving.

After you accused Dr. Mooney of rape, the investigators were quick to get to work. They completed a rape kit on you which did indeed prove that there was a recent intrusion. There had been no DNA of course since you made Rafe wear a condom, but the bruises that formed on your upper arms matched Dr. Mooney’s hand size, & those bruises were indeed from him. From when you quite perfectly framed him as he held you down on the couch.

What solidified the case more so, however, because Dr. Mooney pleaded innocent, was Albert’s testimony. He revealed the rumor about Dr. Mooney & a former patient that he had told you about. After a deep dive into the allegations, it was revealed that Dr. Mooney did have a relationship with the former patient, though she insisted it was consensual. But the nurse who was with you most of that fateful day, Nurse Graham, played the part of witness, sharing that she overheard Dr. Mooney & yours conversation in your room right before you went to his office. The case was solid & closed. Dr. Mooney was effectively removed from his position at Arrowhead & was sentenced to three years in prison. It wasn’t as long as you would have preferred, but you were content with it. Dr. Mooney had gotten what he deserved. You had won.

Of course, you were forced to play the victim for some time, isolating yourself, struggling to talk in therapy. But as the weeks passed, you felt safe to open up more, to be yourself again. No one questioned the truth. Sometimes, very rare times, you did feel guilty for changing the course of Dr. Mooney’s life. It was no surprise that his affair with Nurse Carney was revealed, ultimately leading to his wife leaving him. He was completely alone. And you were free, surrounded by those who swore to love you just as you were.

What ate away the most at you was how there were countless rape victims out there, real rape victims, whose cases were going unjustified. That you conjured up the whole case & succeeded in getting an innocent man imprisoned. But you argued to yourself that Dr. Mooney was a shitty person, that he deserved some sort of consequence for his lies & false authority. It was a win to you, & that’s all you really cared about.

Fortunately, you didn’t think on it much. After Dr. Mooney was removed from the facility, Dr. Frazer made the decision to close the Arrowhead for the summer, to hire new doctors & nurses, to re-write policies & protocols, to ensure that something like your case never happened again. It was the least he could do, after all.

So, with Arrowhead closed, Albert finally reached out. He was apologetic for his coldness to you in those last days, but you reassured him that you didn’t blame him. You had called him weak, after all. But the two of you would talk on the phone every now & then. He was near the end of his program when Arrowhead closed so he was given the ‘okay’ to re-enter life in the real world. He & his boyfriend moved in together & he was starting a new job as a drug counselor at the high school in his hometown. You were glad to have Albert back.

Grabbing your phone off the counter, you snapped a couple pictures of yourself in the gown you wore, sending them to Albert. He replied with heart eyes. You giggled, clicking your phone off. Just as you did, there was a light knock on your door.

“_____, it’s near time to leave. Are you about ready?” You father asked from the other side.

You touched up your hair just a tad before going to the door, opening it. You grinned up at your father in his black-tie suit. He looked handsome. You were glad to be on his arm that night.

“How do I look?” You asked, twirling yet again for him.

Your father grinned, his eyes taking you in, “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you, daddy.”

Your father offered his arm to you then, “The car is waiting downstairs.”

Quickly, you grabbed your Yves Saint-Laurent clutch & tangled your arm with your father’s. He led the two of you out of your hotel suite & to the elevators. On the ground floor out front, there was a sleek black sedan waiting for the two of you. Your father opened the back door for you as you slipped inside, sure to be careful not to catch your heel on the frame. Your father followed after you.

The town where the charity gala was being held was in a town you had never heard of. It was small but upper class, similar to the town you lived in. It was called Kildare & lied along the Atlantic coast. And even though the end of summer was nearing, you couldn’t feel it in the air. It was still warm out & the breeze from the ocean helped keep it cool. You had spent the day earlier today shopping along the boardwalks & indulging in the cute café’s. You were happy to be here with your father.

In the car, your father clacked away on his phone, likely responding to emails, so you just watched as the quaint little beach down passed you by. After about twenty minutes, the car pulled into a beautifully crafted country club. It had clearly been decorated for tonight’s event. There were lights tangled around the trunks of trees, a handful of elegantly crafted benches, & even a pearl colored carpet that invited guests would walk on as they entered the gala.

Yet again, your father offered his arm & you took it, admiring the building you were entering. You had no idea what the charity event was for but you didn’t really care to. You were just glad to be seen in public with your father after his lawsuit. Not that anyone knew about it since it wasn’t public knowledge, but you wanted people to see that your father was proud of the daughter he had on his arm.

Inside the venue, you were aghast at the fantastical elements of it. The interior & décor of it all made your heart leap with joy. It would be one of the first events you attended after returning home, family gatherings not included. You were more than ready to have fun, but of course, not too much fun.

Your father kisses you on your temple, releasing you, "I'm going to go find the host, why don’t you find us a table?”

“Okay.” You smiled.

Before finding a table, you chose to take a stroll though the gala. There were hundreds of people, everyone dressed to the nines. You easily fit in. It was a strange feeling but you welcomed it, nonetheless. Near the back of the spacious room was the many tables of food along with bowls of punch. You inspected your options, your eyes often returning to the desserts table. In the corner was an open bar. You desperately wished you were old enough to get yourself a glass of wine. And you were confident that they would give you one without checking for your ID, but with your father close, you didn’t want to risk disappointing him. Perhaps if you asked him first…

“Craving bubbly?”

The voice just behind you made you jump, as it was much too close. You spun around, expecting it to be a random guest speaking to another, but the eyes you met made you falter in your step.

“Rafe…” You breathed out unbelievably.

“Boo.” He smirked, his hands hidden inside the fitted formal pants he wore, “Ghost of Arrowhead’s past.”

“What are you doing here?” You asked, but your eyes quickly flashed around the room in search of your father.

“I should be asking you that. You’re on my turf, after all.”

That brought your attention back to him. You frowned, “Your turf?”

Rafe smirked, “Kildare. My home.”

A lump formed in your throat. What were the chances? Really? What were the fucking odds that the key to your rape accusation would be standing right before you. Far from Arrowhead.

“You’re looking a little sick, _____. Spooked?”

“No, no.” You shook your head but he was right. You were beginning to feel dizzy & nauseous. “It’s nice to see you.”

Rafe chuckled darkly at that. He took a step forward & you were quick to step away from him. But he continued walking past you to the nearby bar.

“Two glasses of the house red.” He ordered from the bar, but his eyes trailed back to you.

You felt rooted to your spot, unable to move away from him. Had you known that you were going to run into Rafe Cameron of all people, you would have stayed at the hotel.

The bartender handed Rafe the two glasses of wine. Rafe turned back towards you, offering you one of the glasses. You stared dumbly at the crimson liquid then at the hand holding the glass before trailing back to his eyes. He looked devious in the dimly lit space.

“I shouldn’t.”

Rafe stepped closer, his voice lower, “We shouldn’t do a lot of things, but that doesn’t stop us, does it?”

You gulped. With a shaky hand, you accepted the glass but didn’t take a sip. Your father be damned, you didn’t trust yourself to drink now. Not with the one person who knew the truth about your darkest secret.

Rafe tipped the glass, savoring the taste of the wine as he peered at you. You shifted uncomfortably under his stare.

“Well, it was nice seeing you.” You mumbled, “Thanks.”

You were about ready to spin away & run off but Rafe was quick to gently snatch your elbow. Your skin tingled & burned where his fingers grazed you.

“Running away? So soon?” Rafe clicked his teeth in disappointment, “The party is just beginning.”

All your fire & blissful independence evaporated as he held you close. He clinked his glass to yours, “Indulge.”

Knowing he wouldn’t let you go until you obliged, you were quick to bring the glass of wine to your lips. Uncaring of any potential curious stares, you quickly downed the wine, the smokey & sweet flavor going unappreciated as you swallowed it all. You released a breath of air, handing the glass back to him.

“I have to go.”

“Wait, wait, Cinderella.” Rafe tugged you closer. He tucked your empty glass under one of his arms as he used his free hand to reach for your face. You jolted back but he held you tight. You stared wide-eyed at him as his thumb brushed against your lower lip. When he pulled it away, you noted the stain of wine on his finger, mixed with the maroon color of your lipstick. Rafe stuck his thumb in his mouth, sucking the flavor. You felt your lips part as you watched the action.

“As good as I remember.” His eyes twinkled.

You ripped yourself away from him then, snaking your way through the plethora of people before you found your father. He was sitting at a table with a man & woman who looked familiar. But how could they? There would be no one here you would know. Or at least you thought that until Rafe appeared out of the depths of hell.

“Dad.” You tried to sound as normal as possible, but your heart was racing with panic.

“There you are.” He grinned proudly up at you, “_____, this is a friend of mine, Ward & his wife, Rose.”

You offered the couple a polite smile before moving to sit down next to your father.

“Your dress is beautiful, _____.” Rose, who was quite younger than her husband, commented.

“Thank you.” You replied softly.

Ward eyed you then. But it wasn’t the kind of eyeing you were accustomed to when it came to meeting new men. He looked at you as if he saw right through you, not like he was admiring your youthful beauty.

“My son was right, Harold. Your daughter is something.” Ward shared with your father, but his eyes never strayed from you.

Your father smiled at that, though it appeared force. All the while, you were confused by the comment.

“I’m sorry.” You chuckled awkwardly, “Your son?”

Then, like the phrase goes, speak of the devil & he shall appear, Rafe appeared just behind Ward & Rose.

“Oh.” You failed at hiding your distress.

“You two were at Arrowhead not too long ago.” Ward pointed out, but it wasn’t necessary. Of course you knew where you met Rafe.

Your father shifted in his chair, his eyes falling to Rafe’s as he took a spot on the other side of Rose, an empty chair just between the two of you. It was clear your father didn’t trust Rafe. So, why was he ‘friends’ with Ward?

You forced a smile, “Hello, Rafe.”

“_____.” Rafe returned, his voice thick with mischievousness.

“Rafe told us about how you were the only one friendly to him.” Rose commented, her smile bright as she said as such.

“She was definitely the most welcoming.” Rafe added, the tone in his voice playful.

You felt your father’s eyes on you but you made it point to not face him. You had only just gotten his trust & acceptance back not too long ago. You’d be damned if Rafe would ruin that.

“Rafe.” You said his name firmly, “Would you dance with me?”

Rafe’s eyes glinted under the light at your offer.

“I don’t think that’s the best idea, _____.” Your father said, though his voice was low. You met his eyes, seeing the uncertainty there, but you needed to get Rafe away from your father.

“Let the kids be kids, Harold. We’ve got business to discuss, anyway.” Ward leaned back in his chair, staring comfortably at both you & your father.

You could see the struggle occurring within your father but he ultimately inhaled sharply, nodding, “Stay where I can see you.”

“Harold,” Ward laughed loudly, “You baby her. She’s quite the grown woman as far as I can see.”

Your father ignored Ward’s passive aggressive comment, instead turning to you, “As I said, _____.”

“Of course, Dad.”

Rising from your chair, Rafe was quickly beside you, offering his arm. You reluctantly took it. As you did, you didn’t miss how Rafe’s father’s eyes never left the two of you as Rafe led the way to the dance floor.

On the dance floor, Rafe was swift in ensnaring one of your hands in his own before circling his arm around your waist, practically pressed your chest against his own.

Watch Me Burn by Michele Morrone began playing & Rafe moved your bodies in time with the music. It didn’t pass you by how fitting the music was in that exact moment. The song having been shot to stardom thanks to the erotic foreign films 365 Days. A trilogy focused on the tumultuous & tense sexual relationship between two people who shouldn’t be together. You had gotten yourself off to it a handful of times when they first came out. But now, you only felt extreme discomfort.

Rafe cocked his head, watching you intently as you looked everywhere but at him.

At the first chorus, Rafe twirled you before catching you firmly then dipping you. You stared hard at him.

“Bring back memories?”

He returned you upright, his hands finding your arms to drape them over his shoulders. His own hands found themselves on your hips. Despite the thick layers of the dress, you could feel his heat, & how it made your body feel like it was on fire.

“Why are you doing this?” You asked, your voice low so only he could hear you.

“Because I can.” He responded curtly.

You glared up at him as he pressed your more against him, his hands trailing along your lower back.

“That’s not a good enough reason.”

He chuckled at that, shaking his head knowingly, “And what was your reasoning?”

“For what?” You bit back.

Rafe narrowed his eyes, smirking, “You know exactly what.”

You pressed your lips together, licking them in distress. Rafe’s eyes flashed to the movement, his own lips parting.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Your voice shook.

He leaned forward until his lips were at your ear, “You’re a bad liar, _____.”

You gasped softly. It was foolish of you to think Rafe couldn’t put two & two together. He was an ass, but he wasn’t dumb.

“But you fooled the police.”

At the mention of the police, you attempted to shove yourself away, but Rafe was secure in holding you against him.

“I didn’t fool anyone.” You snarled. “What happened, happened.”

Rafe nodded, “If you say so.”

“I do.” You lowered your eyes, “You don’t know anything.”

Rafe hummed at that, “Maybe. But what I do know is that you gave me a going away gift at a very crucial time in your life. And Dr. Mooney’s.”

You stopped dancing. Rafe copied. The two of you stood still on the dance floor, staring hard at one another.

“I wonder what would happen to Dr. Mooney’s sentence if I came forward with what I know. With what we did.”

“You wouldn’t.” You dropped your arms from his shoulders.

“Watch me.”

Tearing away from him, you made to leave the floor but Rafe was, as always, quick like a snake to snatch your wrist. He yanked you back to him before he planted his mouth on yours. You cried softly into the kiss before catching his lower lip between your teeth & sinking them in.

Rafe ripped away, bringing his fingers to his lip. Blood spotted his fingertips.

“I forgot that you liked it rough.”

Unsettled at his comment, you stepped backwards, “Stay away from me. I mean it.”

Rafe glowered, a devilish smile gracing his unacceptable handsome features.

You spun away from him, desperate to create distance, but as you did, you didn’t miss the parting greeting he offered.

“No promises.”

The rest of the night you managed to avoid being within 10 feet of Rafe. He was always there though. Even when you couldn’t see him, you could feel his eyes burning into you, always watching you.

You stayed glued to your father’s side, & you were grateful that when you found him after your tense dance with Rafe that he was no longer with Ward Cameron. The whole night, you entertained small talk with your father’s acquaintances but never strayed. You barely even had the nerve to look around the room, fearful you’d meet the dangerous blues you were desperate to never see again.

It wasn’t until you & your father were in the car back to the hotel that you finally managed to relax, though Rafe’s threat still lingered heavily on your mind. Would he go so far as to totally counteract everything you had done? You wouldn’t put it past him.

But your relaxation was short-lived once in the hotel suite. Before you could disappear to your room for the night, to get plenty of sleep for the drive back home to Virginia Beach tomorrow. It wouldn’t be a long drive, less than two hours, but you wanted to sleep away the tension from the night’s event. Your father stopped you though.

“We’re extending our stay for another day.” He shared as he began to undo his tie.

You frowned, glancing at him, “How come?”

He sighed heavily, sitting down at the only dining table in the suite to unlace his shoes, “The Cameron’s invited us to dinner.”

You felt your heart falter. No.

“And I accepted. You’re expected to come with me.”

Your body began to shake, “Do I have to?”

“Yes, _____.” His voice was tense, & he wouldn’t look you in the eyes. Something was going on. He knew something you didn’t.

“But—”

“No buts, _____. You’re coming with me tomorrow evening & that’s final.” He stood up, unbuttoning the cuffs on his dress jacket. His eyes finally met yours. The look there felt like someone was pouring a bucket of Icelandic water over you. It was a look you knew well, one you hadn’t seen in a couple months. He knew. Your father knew.

“Okay, Daddy.” You mumbled as you felt your lips begin to shake.

“Now, go to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Nodding once, you walked fast to your room, your head hung low.

In your room, you were quick to disappear into the bathroom, flicking the light on. Tears were already falling as you stared at yourself in the mirror. The novelty of the dress, of coming here with you father, of being the perfect daughter, had quickly rotted away.

You glared at yourself in the mirror, the ink from your eyeliner & mascara leaving smudged black trails along your cheeks. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be. Tomorrow, you would wake up & everything would be as it was. Your father would say your name with pride, he would be proud to call you his daughter. But no. You saw it coming & there was no stopping it.

Your father would see you exactly as you were. The Cameron’s would make sure of it.

drumroll please!!! the finale of I Burn is next. & it will be the end of another era. it's indeed a bittersweet feeling but i'm excited to begin writing The Taming featuring Clark Kent.

also, how was the dance scene? i really wanted to incorporate lyrics from the song to match their conversation but do it subtly. comments?

as always, please share your thoughts w me! i'm so so curious to hear your thoughts with the end near. please share w me via comments, reblogging w reviews, or dropping as ask.

thank you for reading!

beau<3

Requests are currently OPEN.

Read this post on why doing more than liking a tumblr writers work is essential to our content creation.

[my love language is words of affirmation, it would make my day if you could comment your thoughts, reblog with tags, or drop an ask that shows your support. thank you for reading tumblr writers, we appreciate you]

taglist: @jsrafesgirl @bunnycvnts @ditzyzombiesblog

to be added to a taglist read rule 11 on my pinned post. requests will be dismissed otherwise.

#dark!rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron #dark!rafe cameron x reader #dark!fic #dark!fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #outer banks fanfiction #non con fic #dark!outer banks #i burn part nine

71 notes · View notes

whetstonefires · 1 year

Note

Do you have any opinions on Scholomance?

I do! I like it a lot. I really enjoyed all three books, blitzed through them easily and was much more excited to see how the plots unfolded than I'm used to these days, as a jaded adult, and I also really appreciated them as works of craft.

Especially the first one, I spent the whole time being all 'wow!' at how simple it was. So easy to read, but no waste. You really need to know what you're doing, to get that kind of pared-down elegance of form to work and still fit so much content in.

Like these are dense, there's a fantastic stylistic minimalism that allows El's character all the space it needs to breathe by making absolutely every other thing and person in the whole novel also do character work for her, which is exactly where the first person voice shines.

Also great use of character perspective to make the pacing feel really natural, so the fact that the first book takes three weeks, the second book takes one year, and the third book is like. Five or so incredibly stressful days spread out over the course of a few weeks? Doesn't feel imbalanced.

I actually got distracted from the story a few times by noticing the strength of Novik's technique. 😂 This is a me problem, in itself it's the opposite of distracting. Very low-profile.

I think the Scholomance is a great example of how far you can go in specfic when you aren't cringing from the label 'derivative,' because the Scholomance books feel very fresh ad clean specifically because nothing in them is concerned with standing out as 'original,' whatever that's supposed to mean, only with being well-executed and suitable to its task.

Hm, maybe that's where Liesel was born, the intersection of the efficient narrative style and the vast proportion of the story that concerns the maximization of utility and the instrumentalization of persons by themselves and others, and the forces that incentivize these behaviors. Or maybe she's just the narrative counterweight to Orion 'Head Empty' Lake lmao. How's that for a principle of balance, Galadriel?

I really did enjoy how beautifully it was laid out, over and over, in dozens of shades of humanity, how no matter where you go in an exploitative system almost everyone is being driven by the same survival instincts.

Because I don't think I've ever seen made so cleanly clear why you just can't expect any person or small group of people, no matter their level of goodwill or status, to unmake one of these systems from the inside; how it's not a matter of people being bad but of every single person being very...small.

And then not retreating into the idea of a person who is Big coming and breaking the cruel system from the outside as some kind of panacea, because 1) that is terrible, even if it's necessary and done in the best way possible and 2) that's not a sustainable answer to anything. Getting a balance between the protagonist being able to effect change and not subscribing to the great man theory of history can be really tricky!

Also did I mention, I love El, and I love most of the cast, even the dreadful ones. How am I going around with this many feelings about Li Shanfeng who doesn't appear until the actual climax?

The romance murdered me a bit, but it took up no more space than it absolutely needed to do its job, and I respect that. Also I appreciated Orion as a love interest; Novik has a slight record at this point of a version of that style of male love interest who's like a caricature of Mr. Darcy but old, which was shaping up to be my least favorite thing about her body of work.

...Orion is kind of like if you took the human king from Spinning Silver and gave him an alignment flip come to think of it, so he's not coming out of nowhere. Lmao.

Which reminds me (re: romance character typing) I've heard Novik didn't want it to be known she was astolat, which this series has renewed my sympathies if so. Because if I were a published novelist I wouldn't want people going 'you know, that resolution was really emotionally satisfying! reminds me of that fic she wrote where optimus prime and megatron get stuck in a hole underground and hatefuck about it.'

I don't even like Transformers. That fic almost made me cry. Actually I suspect it reads better if you don't like Transformers because I'm sure it does not give a shit about canon.

Anyway, whoever pointed out that one of the things El has going on is she's Enoby (and we're going to sit down and explore what the true reason to put your middle finger up at preps is, and what are some constructive ways to channel that socioeconomic wrath, and what it means that there is no ethical consumption under capitalism) was right and I'm not entirely over that either.

Fucking love El's mom as a character. Spectacular level of parent relevance and usefulness. A+.

Aadhya and Liu are also characters who fucking delivered.

Re: minimalism though, I laughed at the start of The Golden Enclaves when I realized that none of the enclaver characters who'd gotten development in the the first two books were from London, the enclave El was theoretically shooting for when we met her.

#ask #hoc est meum #Anonymous #scholomance #my sister's biphobia made an appearance when i was reading the second book and tried to tell her about this thing i was enjoying #still mad at her about it #anyway though #good!#wish i could ask novik what she was thinking by making a single-cell abortion work as human sacrifice #like is it just because magic works on intent so if you think the newly fertilized egg #that you couldn't know about without magic #is 'your baby which you are killing'#then it is?#for purposes of hole in reality making?#or does this story have a spot where its politics sharply reverse and human life begins at conception #spoilers #scholomance spoilers #especially in the reblog #lakjfaldkfs seanan mcguire has granted this rambled Circulation oh dear

1K notes · View notes

starrysvn · 1 year

Text

married in vegas | choi san

pairing: choi san x gn!reader genre: exes2lovers synopsis: choi san had been your first true love and who you'd hoped would be your last. but things don't always work out. too bad your friends were his too, and jung wooyoung was hellbent on spending a long weekend birthday trip in las vegas. never mind your poor heart. warnings: drinking, swear words, a lil angst, dramatics, fluff, unedited word count: 5.2k author's note: fourth installment is here! hope you like this one, i recently rewatched that one episode of friends (iykyk) and just thought i'd put the final dialogue from it in here, kinda. ngl i feel like on the whole i could've done better but i hope you'll enjoy your read anyway! :3

series masterlist | regular masterlist

The breakup was amicable. You stayed friends and, sure, you didn’t hang out as much as you used to - for obvious reasons - and, yes, you did try to get out of any gathering that you knew he was going to be at. Still, you were civil. You could be in his presence.

And yet, all of that didn’t explain why the mere mention of him joining his best friend’s birthday trip to Las Vegas, had you circling around the room like a madman.

“I hope you’re fucking joking” you whine through the phone, earning a sigh from Yeosang.

“You’re blowing this way out of proportion”

“Am I?”

After talking your best friend’s ear off for minutes on end, that sounded wrong to your own ears.

“How did you not realize? San is Wooyoung’s best friend, of course he’d be there!” he reasons, as if you need a reminder that you are being ridiculous. “Plus, he’s taking a huge leap of faith in inviting you both”

“Listen, it was months ago, he didn’t use the group chat to invite us, I didn’t put two and two together. I had a lot on my plate! And hey, we’re civil!” The silence that meets you is so loud. You sigh. “Sorry for the dramatics, it’s been a long day”

After all, you are still recovering from having to dash home in a downpour. And having to stay after hours to have a long, unnecessary meeting with your head of department. Realizing your ex-boyfriend would also be joining your long weekend getaway was just the cherry on top.

“I’d say sorry for springing this up on you at the last minute, but then again, I could’ve just waited to see your face tomorrow” you hit him back with a real funny, Sang, smiling when you hear him snort. The line goes quiet for a second. “Do you want me to come over? We can head to the airport together in the morning” Yeosang says softly, a silent peace offering.

“Are you kidding? Have you seen the weather?” you look out the window, the rain’s still unforgivingly pouring down.

“Unlike you, I don’t refuse to drive in dire conditions” he pokes fun.

“You’re on thin fucking ice, Kang Yeosang”

“I’ll be over in ten” you could basically see his amused grin. You let out a chuckle hanging up. Then you press a hand to your forehead, trying to soothe the headache starting to form.

Choi San is the boyfriend. The one you never thought would leave. The one parting from hurt like nothing you ever experienced. The one you eventually bounced back from, but did you really? Because it still feels as if he was a part of you, just as much as you are a part of him. And when he left, you had to re-learn how to go through life with a missing piece.

He’d been your best friend, the person you ran to for everything. Someone you loved so much that it scared you sometimes because you knew just how much it would kill you to lose him.

Choi San is the one that got away and took a piece of you with him.

But what could you do, after months of healing and avoiding him, when your friends were his friends too? Declining invitations got old fast. The first time you saw him again, you thought you could handle his presence for the night. And you did but cried the whole way home. After that, no more. With time, it got better. Seeing him no longer left you with a sinking feeling. Of course, it isn’t like before, but it never could be, and you made your peace with that.

Still, after one year, you microdose on San, afraid of what could happen to your heart if you spent too much time close to him. It’s for your own sake, your peace of mind. That’s why, when it finally clicked into place that you’d be spending a whopping four days in his presence, you flipped.

The doorbell pulls you from your thoughts, and a smiley Yeosang holding a bottle of wine greets you. You should have known better than to accept alcohol as a peace offering from your best friend. Most of all, you should know that it never really ends with just one bottle. Because now you are incredibly hungover, severely nauseous and totally late for your flight.

“This is all your fault” you hiss as Yeosang asks the Uber driver to please hurry. Both your phones are annoyingly dinging with unread text messages, not helping your headache at all.

“Excuse you?” he turns around, tone accusatory. “As far as I remember, you were the one who brought out the tequila”

“Well, you didn’t stop me”

“You were crying!”

“Even worse!”

Your bickering is brought to an end by the screeching halt of the car in front of the airport. You ignore the severe wave of nausea it causes and get out, Yeosang right in tow. Incessant teasing and half-hearted blame tossing accompanies your run through the airport.

With just five minutes to spare, Wooyoung’s screeching hyena laughter welcomes the two of you at the gate. Surely the matching sunglasses and coats thrown over your pyjamas are a sight to behold, you think as you hug your friends hello.

“Birthday boy!” you pull Wooyoung into a big hug, giggling when he sways you both back and forth.

“Thank you for coming” he already said that months ago, when he first proposed the idea, but right now - with San’s eyes on you - the sincerity in Wooyoung’s somehow shines brighter.

“Thank you for having me” you smile genuinely. The breakup put a strain on your group of friends for a little, and you wanted to make sure he knew how much you appreciated him wanting you here. He squeezes your hand, before moving to Yeosang.

“We need to go, you’ll say hi in eleven hours when we land. Chop, chop!” Seonghwa rushes everyone to join the last few people in line. You let go of Mingi, laughing, hearing Yunho say something along the lines of they literally just started boarding, and follow the rest. You finish saying your hellos through boarding, finally facing San.

As you always do when it comes to him, you push down whatever mixed feelings bubbled up in your chest and put on a smile.

“Hi, San," you wave, so you're stunned when he just spares you a quick side hug, smiling curtly after greeting you.

Your friends had long stopped holding their breath whenever you two are in the same room, but this feels off. Like a splash of cold water, it sends you back to the first, awkward time you met up again. Nobody seems to notice though, apart from Yeosang. Unlike the rest of your friends, his gaze still lingers on you carefully. You subtly nod at him, like you always do.

Sighing, you keep walking beside your best friend, not really able to shake the disappointment San’s cold greeting leaves you with. Despite your best efforts, you let it eat away at you during the flight, the car ride to the hotel and the moments you unpack. No amount of berating does it. Why would he behave like that? Is this all in your head?

It’s not like you two would usually have heart to hearts but you talked, at least. You were friendly. So you don’t get why suddenly San is being so distant. For Wooyoung’s sake, you promised yourself you’d do your best to ignore it all. Be the bigger person and not get involved with whatever bullshit had his panties in a twist.

A whole day into the trip and you had to resist the urge to punch him in the face for behaving like an immature teenager multiple times. But you keep contact to a minimum. Complain to Yeosang in the comfort of your hotel room. Take several deep breaths. You aren’t good at this whole maintain-inner-peace thing.

“I just wish he would stop ignoring me”

The view from the panoramic terrace of the hotel is breathtaking, but, margarita in hand and sunglasses on, you find yourself not fully appreciating it. Not when you are using your time away from the rest of the group to vent to your best friend. Again.

“Ah, so you do care” the way Yeosang wiggles his eyebrows makes you want to wipe off that smirk on his face.

“No, I don’t” he doesn’t look too convinced. “Seriously! He’s just making it hard to get along with him”

“Or is his distance making you think about stuff you don’t want to think about?” you hate how much your best friend knows you. You let out an exasperated sigh.

The last thing you should be thinking about was your ex, but you can’t help it. He wouldn’t usually behave like that and, you had to admit, it threw you for a loop. Not to mention how you despise the way you still catch yourself thinking about him. It’s subconscious at this point and it's been hard to accept. Had he finally moved on? Were you the only one left running in circles inside your head?

No matter how much distance there is between the two of you, he’s still there, in a corner of your mind. Like a phantom pain, he follows you in the most mundane of things. The frozen aisle at the supermarket still reminds you of his favorite ice cream brand. When buying Christmas presents, your brain immediately goes to the one thing he’s been obsessing over. The reminders zap you like an electric shock, bringing you back to reality. San is a friend now - they say. Nothing more, nothing less. And so you’d berate your heart for acting like he wasn’t. You’d put down the tube of mint-choco ice cream with a sigh, and choose fucking socks as a present.

“Promise we won’t change?”

It was hard to make out the look on his face through the tears in your eyes. You never thought breaking up would hurt this bad, like giving up a piece of you. It felt like the end of the world. Of your world. One where you could no longer navigate life with San.

“You’ll always be my best friend” he murmured, lips against the skin of your neck. You felt the wetness on his face, too. “We’ll go back to how it was before”

But how could it? Now that you knew what it was like to be loved by him, and what a thing it was to love him. Against all hopes, that night, you hoped he was right.

No amount of space was ever able to lessen the strain the break-up put on your already existing friendship. You keep it amicable, for everyone else’s sake, but it just isn’t like before. It could never be. You both broke that promise, one that perhaps you shouldn’t even have made.

You’ve long realized that it’s closure that you need. Because the two of you healed separately, but never really talked about it together. It’s a conversation you need to have if you intend on being around each other. What scares you the most, though, is the possibility of something happening. Or rather, of you letting it happen. You aren’t so sure about San. If you truly want to let go, you need to know.

The dings of your phones pulls you from your thoughts.

meet in the lobby in an hour-ish? we’re going out!

You share a look with Yeosang, knowing birthday celebrations are due tonight, and Wooyoung isn’t about to hold back.

“Let’s go” your best friend offers an encouraging smile, walking back to the room with you.

The second you go down to meet with your friends, you feel yourself stumble on your heels and almost wish to find a way out of this dinner party. Now, you aren’t a stranger to San’s beauty, you never were. But holy fuck, how you wished that he was still yours. If he were, you could saunter up to him and tell him just how breathtaking he looked with his unbuttoned white shirt and slicked-back hair. The knowledge hits you like a train and leaves you breathless.

You need a drink.

And, boy, do you get one.

You don’t remember the last time you had this much fun. Wooyoung sure knows how to party. The dinner went quite smoothly - safely hidden between Yeosang and Mingi, you didn’t spare much attention to San, not that he spared you any - and soon after the birthday boy dragged you to a club.

“Sunshine!” Wooyoung appears out of nowhere, stealing you away from your impromptu dance battle against a buzzed Mingi. “Don’t you look stunning” he compliments, twirling you around, flirty as usual. You cackle, throwing your hands on his shoulders.

“Thanks Woo, you look dashing” you wink back, dancing with him.

“You shouldn’t be saying that to me,” he laughs. The confusion in your eyes must be enough for him to elaborate. “I noticed you’ve been eyeing a certain someone… who happened to be eyeing back”

“Who?” you’re going to fight this. No way.

“Don’t play dumb now” his face gets closer until his lips are pressed against the shell of your ear. “If looks could kill, I’d be dust right now. So would be Mingi” you gape at him, watching as he smiles amusedly.

“Wooyoung, we’re not going to talk about me and him during your birthday party”

“Oh, please! My birthday wish is for you two to get back together already!” homeboy is drunk. Your jaw hits the floor, and you smack his arm. He just laughs harder.

“Wooyoung, what!? You can’t be serious”

“Come on! You’re both incredibly oblivious about your feelings. It's getting sad” he groaned in frustration. “You’re still obviously hung up on each other and I can’t take it anymore, it’s excruciating! Take me out of this misery”

“There’s a reason we called it quits, Woo” you deadpan, taking a step back from him.

“And it’s a stupid one,” he looks like he’s about to say more, but he can’t.

“Alright enough” because Yunho, your saving grace, intervenes. “We’re going back to our booth” he shoots you an apologetic smile, half dragging the birthday boy away and back to the others. You don’t know how much of the conversation he caught, but judging by the good-natured scolding he’s doing, it was enough. You sigh, deciding it’s time for your well-deserved drink. As soon as you reach the bar, you claim the last free stool for yourself.

Wooyoung’s words won’t leave you alone. They keep bouncing around in your head louder than the booming music. Was it really a stupid reason? But most of all, how drunk does he have to be to insinuate that San is still in love with you? That you are still in love with him?

You nod to the bartender when the drink lands in front of you.

The night you broke up is a tangled up mess of emotions and memories you rarely ever allow to resurface. At first, it hurt too much, and then, just like everything else San, you tried to forget in order to move on. But if you think long enough, you still feel him slip away from you, the hollow in your chest when you woke up the morning after and his head wasn’t resting on the pillow beside yours.

Lazily, you toy with the straw of your drink.

It was something about work and it keeping you apart that drove a wedge into your relationship. The nights when one of you would pass out waiting up for the other started to become the norm. The arguments that the lack of each other’s presence fired up outnumbered the sweet talks you used to have over dinner.

Bitter words were spoken, and everything crashed and burned to its fateful end. The mutual decision to break it off before you broke the other seemed the best option. You never truly gave yourself time to think if you regretted it, afraid that bringing it up would only prevent you from letting San go. So, you foolishly swept it under the rug.

And now, here you are, downing your drink in response to the wave of emotions Wooyoung’s words elicited in you. Trying to ignore how your skin crawls every time the man sitting beside you lays his eyes on you. Inching away every time he tries to talk to you.

“We’re leaving” there is no mistaking his voice, but it feels so foreign. You turn around, facing him. His unreadable eyes send a chill down your spine. You lift a brow in question.

“You’re drunk,” San shrugs. “I’m taking you back to the hotel”

Who does he think he is? Looking down at you from his high horse of righteousness, worrying about you like he cared. You scoff.

“‘M not and you most definitely aren’t” you turn around in your seat, facing away from him.

“Are too, come on” San’s hand reaches for your arm, turning you back around and trying to safely get you off the stool.

“And what’s it to you?” you finally snap, shrugging him off. “You haven’t spoken more than two words to me the whole trip, why do you care now?”

Despite your resolution not to cry, or not to care, you feel tears stinging in your eyes. So much for not letting him phase you.

“Yeah, let go man” all hopes of getting out of this situation are ruined the second the guy sitting beside you speaks. You roll your eyes, bracing for what’s to come and cursing yourself for not leaving the bar after getting your drink. “Who are you to ruin their fun?”

“I’m their boyfriend”

Of course.

But you can’t deny that the way he says it - like he very much believes it - moves something inside you.

San doesn't waste any time and doesn’t wait for a reply. His fingers wrap around your wrist delicately, making goosebumps cover your skin. His hold is familiar, warm and it makes you feel like crying. Too stunned to speak, you let him carry you through the stuffy club, not even bothering to apologize to the people you bumped into.

It takes way longer than you’d like to get out of the club, and the lump in your throat is getting harder to ignore by the second. Suddenly, you don’t feel like blaming San all that much for ignoring you.

Once the cold air of the night hits you, you free yourself from his firm grasp. San stops dead in his tracks, looking at you. You can’t do this right now. You worked so hard to keep things civil between you two, you can’t fight with him on Wooyoung’s day. Knowing that one more word from him would break you. You take a deep breath.

“You just had to do that, didn’t you?” Clearly, it didn’t work.

“And here I was, thinking I was going to get a thank you”

You point a finger at his chest. “I can handle my own, San” and there it is, that look on his face that tells you he knows better. He knows you. And for a moment, you hate that he’s right. For a moment, you hate him for fucking with your head. “And you know perfectly well what I’m talking about”

“Do I?”

“What do you want me to tell you, San? You’ve been acting all distant and righteous these past couple of days, and then you pull this stunt?” This is most certainly a conversation you don’t want to have in the middle of the street, but oh well. “You could’ve just asked if I wanted a ride back to the hotel, there was no need for all that”

A gust of wind blows by, making you shiver. When San moves closer, all traces of his anger gone, you stand still, holding your breath. Dumbstruck, you follow his every movement. San peels his jacket off, only to drape it over your shoulders. Something he’s done a million times before. A melancholy so strong pulls at your heartstrings. You didn’t think he noticed. His touch lingers a second too long, eyes looking into yours as if asking if what he just did was alright.

“Thanks” you mumble, watching him step back. The warmth melts your anger away as much as it messes with your head. You don’t like how the air shifts and becomes heavy with the weight of words left unsaid.

But what would you even tell him? That, apparently, for how much you tried, you can't move on? That he lingers in your mind, in your heart, your apartment. That he’s still all over you, and you don’t know how to shrug him off – you aren’t even sure if you want to.

“I miss you” the words leave your lips before you have a chance to stop them. You definitely shouldn’t have drunk tonight. San’s eyes are on you in a split second, but yours stay focused on the pavement. You can feel his gaze putting you on the spot, begging you to say more. You don’t.

“Me too” he speaks so quietly that his words almost get lost in the night.

San waves a taxi over and helps you in. The whole ride back is quiet; you’re a second away from bursting into tears, having finally realized the extent of your feelings for San. Only cursing Wooyoung for being right keeps you in one piece until you reach the door to your room.

You go to unlock it and turn around to give him his jacket back. Not being surrounded by his scent sends your heart to your feet. You can’t believe all the work you did not to feel like this anymore has gone to shit.

“Thank you,” you say once more, before turning to step into your dark room so you can cry to your heart’s content and pretend none of this happened in the morning.

San’s hand grips yours, stopping you in your tracks. When he whispers your name, you’re done for. One second you’re about to hide in your room and the other he’s turning you to him. You can see how he's looking for the words to say. You know that expression all too well, you recognize the furrow of his brow. Then e pulls you closer and the breath gets knocked out of your lungs. He’s closer than he’s ever been in a year and pressed as you are against his chest, you’re afraid he might hear the way your heart is furiously beating.

His sorry eyes are scanning every inch of your face, or so you think, blinking back tears. Under his gaze, you’re burning. Because you want him to let you go and hold you closer at the same time. His hands on your hips are still delicate, you can break free at any time, but you’re not sure you want to.

Your breath hitches when his forehead connects to yours, you can’t breathe, you can’t think-

And then he’s kissing you, and it’s like coming home. It tastes sweet like your drink and bitter like the whiskey on his tongue. You’re unsure if the saltiness is from your tears or his. It’s familiar and your gut tells you that it’s so right, so good that you push yourself closer, lose yourself in him. San’s hold on you is almost bruising, and he’s kissing you like you’re the only thing he’s ever known. Like he used to when he wanted to show you just how much he loved you-

You push away from him like you’ve been stunned. His confused eyes search your face, asking what’s wrong. You clear your voice, but no words leave your mouth. So, when he calls your name with a voice so fragile that it makes you shiver, it’s all you can do to bid him goodnight and finally lock yourself in your room.

Your lips are still tingling, you still feel San’s mouth on yours. In the darkness, a sob wrecks you. You’re supposed to be over him. You spent so much time trying to be. Your heart shouldn’t be breaking this way; for the time you lost trying to forget him, for how all your efforts were in vain.

“Let me in” though muffled by the door, his voice makes you jump. “Please”

Another loud sob escapes you, and you curse yourself for not stepping away from the entrance. Of course, he’d stay. Of course, he’d hear. Well, you can’t run now, can you?

When you open the door, San’s head shoots up. He goes to take a step but hesitates. You simply open the door wider, and he visibly relaxes. After letting him in, you close the door and turn on the lights. The silence is thick, and you almost can’t breathe.

“I’m sorry” he starts, catching your attention. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have done a lot of things these past few days” despite your tears, you manage a scoff.

“Why?” it’s all that leaves your lips, but you know he’s caught on. You’re met with silence. Disappointment spreads like wildfire in your heart. He doesn't even have an answer - you bitterly think.

“So you’ve got nothing to say for yourself?” you push, starting to feel the anger bubble up inside. “You know how hard I’ve tried to make this trip work for Wooyoung's sake? For all our friends' sake? So that they don’t have to walk on eggshells around us, or invite us out one at a time?”

“And I haven’t!?”

“Oh, don’t sound so surprised, San!” you take a step closer. “We were doing alright, why’d you have to go and act like you have a stick up your ass whenever I’m around? Wooyoung’s your best friend, for crying out loud!”

“Don’t act all high and mighty! Have you ever considered, hell, even ever stopped to think-”

“Have I?” oh, if he only knew. “Have I? All I ever do is think, San! You’ve haunted all of my what-ifs ever since we broke up. So you can’t go ahead and pull shit like this when I’ve been trying my damn best”

Your voice is thick with emotion and your throat feels tight. The deafening silence that meets you makes your ears ring. San visibly deflates and the way he speaks is in open contrast to how you just did.

“Would you keep trying?” you don’t remember the last time you heard him sound so small. Still, his eyes are so full of determination.

“Why would I?” you ask, defeated. It’s like a flip switches inside him.

“Because I love you! I still love you”

Time stops, and for a moment nothing exists but you and your racing heart. It’s going so fast you fear it might beat out of your chest, or that he might hear it. It’s so loud that it rings in your ears. A surprised gasp escapes your lips: you understood perfectly fine, you just can’t believe the words he just so desperately uttered.

“I’ve been in love with you longer than I can remember. I loved you when I thought I’d never get to tell you again. I loved you when loving you quietly and at a distance was all I could do, but it was alright as long as I got to love you”

“San…”

“I’m sorry for earlier. I’m sorry for these last couple of days. There’s no excuse, but I just…” he sighs, closing his eyes. You go to take another step, but all determination to do so dies when you see him produce a little velvet box from his pocket. Your breath hitches and a sigh of his name leaves you. “All I could think about leading up to this trip was our first anniversary. You remember how we joked about eloping in Las Vegas?”

It seems your tears won’t stop flowing. You can’t believe he remembers. It was such a small thing, it takes you a second to connect the dots. It was a comment thrown around, something you said to make him laugh. Though you remember thinking that if he’d asked, you would’ve said yes in a heartbeat.

“I’ve had this since then” hope sparks in your heart, though you’re not really sure you’re even breathing right now.

“San-”

“Don’t. I know this is so incredibly stupid, I don’t even know why I brought this with me-”

“Ask me” finally, finally he looks up at you and there’s no doubt in your mind. You still love him, you always have. You always will.

“What?”

“Choi San, ask me or I will” he’s blanking, frozen in his spot. So, you get down on one knee. His eyes widen and you hear sounds of protest. Suddenly it’s a race on who’s speaking first, both on your knees, face to face. You’re giggling like idiots, tears in your eyes.

“I thought that I could manage life without you” he starts, and you let him intertwine your fingers. “I thought we could go back to being happy without being in love. That we’d be better at a distance, but I was so wrong. The only thing that matters is that you make me happier than I ever thought I could be, and if you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Fighting to make us work. I already made the mistake of giving you away once, I'll never make it again"

"Will you marry me?”

You waste no time in kissing him, big smiles barely making it a kiss, but you don’t care. You don’t care because San just asked you to marry him. Because he’s lifting you up and spinning you around and kissing you like he’ll die if he doesn’t. And for the first time in a while, you’re happy. So happy you could burst, laughing like you haven’t since you let him go.

“Do you think we should go get married?” he asks, swaying you around in his arms. You stare up at him, snorting.

“Maybe let’s wait till tomorrow, when our friends aren’t drunk off their faces, you know?” he chuckles, looking at you like you’re the only thing that could ever hold his attention. How could you ever convince yourself even for one second that you didn’t want to fight for him?

bonus:

Yunho’s slowly munching on a croissant, head resting on Mingi’s shoulder – who’s barely awake. You fear Wooyoung’s not even on your same astral plane right now, forehead against the table and hand gripping a coffee cup for dear life. Yeosang’s head is thrown back against the wall, he’s sipping slowly at his own coffee. It almost makes you think that you and San walking hand in hand could go unnoticed.

“Is that a ring?” you should’ve known Seonghwa’s sharp eyes wouldn’t miss it. After all, he’s the only one remotely awake. That, and he’s the only one not wearing sunglasses at the breakfast table. Lethargically, your friends’ faces emerge from behind the shades. Various sets of eyes squint in your direction as you come closer.

“Holy fuck you got back together” surprisingly, the voice is Wooyoung’s, though he sounds exactly like he just came back from the dead.

“Technically, we got engaged,” San points out. The words have barely left his mouth that suddenly his best friend is up and asking what, how, when, and why?! Eliciting various groans and shut the fuck ups.

“My birthday wish came true!” he throws himself at you both, squeezing you in a hug. Over his shoulder, you look at Yeosang. Despite his tired face, he smiles at you. So do the rest of your friends.

“Alright so, wedding tonight before we leave?” Wooyoung smirks all too enthusiastically, and you hear Seonghwa mumble as long as we drink juice, eliciting a round of quiet laughs.

686 notes · View notes

broken-glowsticks · 4 months

Text

What Once was Mine

Chapter 11 - When, How, and Why

Genre: Childhood friends, Eventual Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Love corner/love triangle, love rivals, Series.

NOT ALL CHAPTERS WILL BE PROOF READ!!

Warnings: 18+, mdni, mentions of sex and alcohol consumption, additional warnings will be added to individual chapters as needed.

Additional warnings: mentions of explicit sex, loss of virginity, fingering (f receiving), piv, mentions of an underage related, mentions of bruises and bodily harm, slight angst.

Previous • Main • Next

“What do you mean he almost kissed you?!” Felix's deep baritone ricocheted off the walls of his room, immediately followed by your hasty shushing.

“Ssshhhh! Felix, shut your face! I don't want Chan to hear!”

“Chan's elbows deep in work right now, his headphones are basically fused to his head. He's not going to hear anything.” Felix retorted, grabbing your wrists and removing the hands you had shoved against his mouth to shut him up. He didn't let you go, though. “Now spill,” he commanded, pulling you closer, a devious smile on his lips, “what exactly happened?”

With a sigh, you pulled your hands from Felix's grasp. Scooting closer to him on his bed, you tried to keep your voice down as you relayed the events that had happened the previous night.

“No fucking way, you little tease!” Felix basically sang as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, drawing you in to roughly nuzzle you.

“Ow, ow, ow, Felix, knock it off!” You whined, shoving him off you and yanking away the pillow he was leaning on as a form of cover. Felix only giggled.

“Alright, joking aside,” Felix began, once again pulling you in but gentler this time. “How do you feel about what almost happened?”

You sighed. Laying down, you rested your head on Felix's leg, gathering your thoughts as he began to tenderly stroke your hair. How did you really feel about Hyunjin almost kissing you?

“I feel like there's something going on that he's not telling me.”

“Okay, elaborate?”

“Hyunjin… struggles to communicate how he feels, he always has. The sex… always meant more.”

“More for him? I thought it was just something casual?” Felix meant no harm in his questions, genuinely wanting to understand. Before tonight, Felix didn't know Hyunjin as anything other than an obstacle to you and Changbins’ budding relationship. Everything he's ever learned about the guy has come from Jisungs’ blatant and self-admitted biased view. And while you knew Felix was still trying to sort things out, it still stung to be reminded how much you wished the sex with Hyunjin meant something different than it did. But you never pushed. You never dared to expose yourself like that because the entire time you were with him, you knew what those moments meant for Hyunjin.

“Hooking up…” you began, trying to find the words to properly express yourself, “sure, we would sometimes do it for fun or to de-stress, but that's not how it started.”

“Then… how did it start?” Taking your face in his hands, Felix leaned over, meeting his eyes with yours. “If the sex wasn't mainly just for fun, then what made you two start up in the first place?”

Your lips pressed into a thin line. You struggled to hold Felix's gaze, but he asked, and you've never spoken about this to anyone, not even Jisung, who's known you since before Hyunjin even re-entered your life. You don't know why you never spoke about it, maybe it was time.

“Alright, let's get some snacks and something to drink, I might get emotional.”

○●♡☆♡●○

You sniffled as you curled yourself further under your fluffy comforter, makeup smearing against your pillow - you didn't care, you were too heartbroken. Tonight was supposed to be the best date of your teenage life, never would you have thought someone from Hyunjins untouchable circle would take any kind of interest in you, you always assumed they thought too highly of themselves based on how they acted in the halls. Turns out you were right.

You had planned this night for days. All dressed up in the new outfit you had gotten at the mall with Jisung and his girlfriend, even tentatively donning the pretty lingerie set you had snuck off to buy in the event things got heated and felt right. Your parents weren't home, set to be gone until some time tomorrow afternoon. You had made a simple dinner and picked out a few movies to possibly rent in the event the night stayed chaste. Everything was all set, yet as time ticked by, you began to worry. When your dates' appointed arrival time came and went, you began to get nervous, texting him and Hyunjin in an attempt to get ahold of the elusive boy.

You weren't expecting Hyunjin to be able to do much, he had mentioned he had plans of his own and would check in whenever he had the time, but so far he had only been able to reply twice - both times before your date was even meant to begin. At least Hyunjin managed to reply at all. You had debated over calling Jisung, but you very much didn't want to deal with the embarrassment of admitting you may have gotten stood up because he was so against the date in the first place, only helping because you expressed it was something you really wanted. Maybe you should call your date? Not wanting to seem clingy and give him the benefit of the doubt you simply assumed his phone had died or something of the sort, leading you to lay on the couch to wait for him, eating chocolate and ice cream with some random YouTube videos playing to fill the dead air as you scrolled social media. That's when you saw it.

You had followed this boy on Instagram a little bit ago, hanging on his every post as a way to glean more knowledge of him, but at this moment you wished you didn't even know about his Instagram page at all. There, at the very top of your feed, was a carousel of images of him at a party, an impossibly gorgeous girl clinging to him like shrink wrap.

A burn scorched your throat as it tightened, your heart dropping to your stomach. Hot, angry tears welled in your eyes as, stupidly, you tapped on his profile picture and pulled up his stories, the time stamp indicating he posted only minutes ago. He looked like he was having so much fun, especially with that girl who was showing up often. The final nail in the coffin was when you saw your would-be date's final story, where - presumably - one of his friends had filmed him explicitly licking whipped cream off the girl's chest. Broken and disgusted, you aggressively dashed away your phone, escaping your room to wallow in your sorrows. You stayed there, sobbing, until you had no more tears to give, seeking solace within the plush embrace of your bed.

You were unsure when you started debating over cleaning up, maybe eating the dinner you made - no point in letting good food go to waste. You had only just managed to sit upright in your bed when you heard the tell-tale sign of a fist thrashing against your door, frequent ringing of your doorbell accompanying. The barrage of noise startled you into place, and you thought about pretending you weren't even home, but the sounds of a well-known voice shouting through the wood eased your nerves.

“Y/N? Beautiful, it's me, open up!!” Hyunjins strained voice shouted, screaming at the top of his lungs in hopes you would be able to hear him regardless of wherever you were hiding in the house.

Wordlessly, you made your way from your bed to the front door, turning on the front light so he knew you were there.

“Hyunjin, what are you-?”

“I'm gonna kill that fucking ass-hole,” Hyunjin growled through grit teeth the moment you opened the door, cutting you off by placing his hands on either side of your face. He could feel his temper rising as he took in your smudged makeup and red, puffy eyes. Despite his rough tone he held your face so gently that you almost began to cry again. “I swear to you, I didn't know he was going to do this.”

“I know it wasn't your fault Jinnie…” you breathed, attempting to remain collected enough to not give into your heartbreak. It wasn't enough, as soon as you opened your mouth to reassure him another sob tore from you and you were once again lost. Hyunjin didn't bat an eye, wrapping himself around you and holding you so tightly it felt as though he was the only thing even remotely keeping you together.

“I knew it was too good to be true, but I still believed that he might like me. That, maybe, I had a chance. God, I feel so stupid, Hyunjin!” You clung to Hyunjins denim jacket as you wailed shamelessly into the collar, “and… and when I saw his stories, how this girl was glued to him… it's dumb and I know I deserve better, but I still couldn't help but wonder why couldn't that be me? Did he think I wasn't good enough, not hot enough? What am I missing that I'm so undesirable to him?”

“Y/N stop,” Hyunjins hands were once again at your face, drawing your gaze to his. “You're beautiful, you know you are. Just because this guy doesn't see it, that doesn't mean it's not true. Hell, you even just said that you know you deserve better.” he said gently, pressing his forehead to yours. “God I'm so fucking angry,” he muttered more to himself than anything, squeezing his eyes shut. How dare this prick of a “friend” hurt you like this, in the exact same way he did?

“I know… I know I deserve better, I'm not ugly, but it's so hard to feel like I'm pretty, that I'm desirable at all, when guys keep rejecting me.”

“All those guys are idiots.” Hyunjin sighed, “I wish I could show you how desirable you really are,” he said in a whisper, his brows furrowed and eyes squeezing tighter. It hurt him so much to hear you speak like that.

“I love you for wanting that, but… I don't see how you could,” you whimpered, placing your hands over his, your glossy eyes drifting over his pained features. Was it just the harsh shadows from the front light, or did he have a couple of bruises on his face?

“I can think of one way,” Hyunjin said, his voice coming out small, almost shy. This surprised you. You couldn't remember the last time he came off as shy.

“What do you mean, Jinnie?” You asked in an equally soft tone, your curiosity and fear of spooking him out of sharing his idea overtaking the uncertainty of the possible bruises on his face.

Hyunjins eyes open slowly, his gaze unreadable. You didn't know what it was, but something about the intensity of his stare made you flush, rendering you speechless. Eventually, the longer you looked, the better you could see it - the internal war he was having with himself. Whatever his thought was, he was unsure over whether or not to follow through. For Hyunjin, he was unsure if this would help or if it was even something you needed. He was worried that after what happened to him tonight, he was focusing too much over what he needed.

“Are you not going to tell me?” You finally asked, trying to goad him into fussing up, “did you change your mind?”

“No, I just… I don't want to upset you.”

“Sounds like you have something risky in mind.”

“That's putting it lightly,” he chuckled, ghosting his thumb over your cheek. “I don't think we'd be the same after, and that scares me, I don't want you to shut me out, Beautiful.”

“Just do it, Jinnie. I know that regardless of whatever you have in mind, you just want to help. I could never be upset at you for that.”

“Are you sure?” He rasped, snaking one of his arms around your waist. Your pulse thudded at his actions, but after a stiff swallow, you nodded anyway.

“I'm sure Hyunjin, I trust you.”

Hyunjins eyes became hooded as he scanned your face, his lower lip catching between his teeth as he tipped your chin up with the hand that wasn't increasing its grip on your waist. You stopped breathing as Hyunjin ran his thumb over your lower lip, taking in the softness of your skin before delving in for a bite.

You whimpered at the gentle sting as he tugged at your lower lip, eyes screwed shut and hands clutching at his tear stained denim jacket. Before you could even question what was happening, Hyunjins' other arm wrapped around you, pulling your body hard against his as he tilted his head to kiss you properly. Your head spun. All you could focus on was his soft, plush, lips, and warm breath.

A squeal sneaked out of you when Hyunjin licked your lower lip, allowing him to slip between your lips when you gasped in surprise. You put up no fight, allowing him to roam as he pleased. You were so lost in everything about him, his touch, his smell, his taste. It was as if you were caught in a current drifting you further out to sea. Was this why every girl in town wanted a chance just to spend a night with him? Or was he so good because he got around? He was just kissing you, and you could feel your excitement stirring. How did it feel to do more than just kiss him? Wanting to know you released your grip on his jacket, slipping your hands beneath the collar.

Hyunjin shuttered at your cool touch, a stark contrast to the hot skin of his neck. Goosebumps raised as he felt you slip his jacket off of him, and he released your waist to help you along, dropping the fabric by the front door and kicking off his shoes. He was so focused that he let out a small noise of surprise when you slipped your hands under the hem of his shirt, hands resting on his abdomen.

“Y/N,” he murmured against your lips, chuckling when you refused to stop kissing him. Running a hand into your hair, he held on gently as he pulled away, full on grinning when your lips tried to chase after him, “easy there, girl.”

“Why'd you stop?” You softly whined, somewhat out of breath, a pout on your sweet lips.

“I just don't want to keep this up right by the front door, I keep thinking your parents are going to catch us or something,” Hyunjin said light heartedly, his eyes still lingering on your lips. He already wanted to kiss you again.

“Then…” you began, feeling shy at what you were about to suggest, “my room?”

“Your room,” Hyunjin agreed, lifting you from the floor and carrying your giggly self to your bed. Tearing off his flannel and climbing on top of you, he finally took a moment to take in your outfit. His heart sank once he realized this outfit was new, and you looked absolutely stunning in it. How dare your date not come to see how much effort you put in for tonight. Hyunjins hands clenched at your sheets as he told himself that at least you wouldn't have dressed up for nothing. He wouldn't let your efforts tonight go to waste.

“Hyunjin, are you alright?” Hyunjins eyes met yours, and he leaned in to place a kiss to the tip of your nose.

“I'm just nervous, I didn’t think you'd take it this far.”

“I didn't either,” you admitted, suddenly unable to look at him, “but I just… I liked what we were doing, how you were making me feel.” Your cheeks burned, but Hyunjin was right. You deserved to feel beautiful, and you were grateful that it was Hyunjin who was making you feel this way. “Hyunjin… I- I want you to keep going… would you… would you be my first?”

Hyunjins’ breath caught in his throat, and in an instant, he no longer felt like the full of confidence school bad boy. Instead, he was just a boy, a boy with his heart hammering in his chest as he looked down at the girl he secretly loved with the widest eyes imaginable.

“Are- Are you sure?” He whispered, the tremor in his voice matching the one shaking his body.

“Yes,” you breathed, finding the courage to look at him again. “I'm sure.”

With a fervored nod of his head, Hyunjin sat up and hastily fumbled for his wallet in his back pocket, praying that he still had a condom tucked away. With relief, he found one. He couldn't stop shaking.

“I'll stop whenever you tell me to,” Hyunjin said with a mix of excitement and anxiety, placing the condom next to you on the bed, “you call all the shots. I won't do anything you're not comfortable with, okay?”

Unable to speak, you nodded, taking several deep, steadying breaths as Hyunjin returned above you, wasting no time to kiss you sweetly. You did your best to focus on the moment, on the slant of his lips, the smell of his cologne clinging to his undershirt, of his shaky hand that trailed under your shirt to run his hand over your breast which caused your breath to hitch.

“Y/N, are you wearing lingerie?” Hyunjin murmured. Your hands flew to your face to cover your now tomato red face before he could even finish asking his question. Once again, you were only able to nod. With a groan, Hyunjin, unceremoniously and without warning, pushed your shirt up as far as it would go before sitting back on his haunches and tearing your bottoms off of you. Fuck, to think that good-for-nothing almost saw you in this. “I can't tell you how glad I am to be the only one to see you in this,” he said admiringly, pressing kisses to your knees, then down your inner thighs.

Hyunjin paused for a moment, giving you a chance to stop him before he went any further, but when you remained hiding behind your hands he continued to pepper kisses between your thighs as he worked his way down. With a small smirk, Hyunjin traced the little bow that topped the front of your lace panties. You were a present just for him. He felt grateful, getting something just for him.

Wanting to show just how appreciative he was, Hyunjin spread your legs, slotting his head in between them and placing soft kisses to your covered heat. He relished in your shy, needy whimpers as he ran his fingers up and down your clothed slit, pressing more kisses over your clit as the dampness against your panties worsened.

“I'm going to eat you out first before we do this, baby, I want you relaxed and feeling good before I try sliding in,” he instructed as he pulled your panties down your legs with his teeth and slid his finger over your now exposed slit.

You were already a panting mess from this little bit of stimulation, your hands no longer hiding your face but bunched at your chest as you watched him toy with you. You had never seen this side of Hyunjin before and were getting more and more aroused as he focused on your pleasure. You couldn't take your eyes off him, especially as he rested one of your legs over his shoulder, collecting your wetness on his middle finger before easing it between your folds. He pumped the digit in and out a few times, checking if there was any discomfort before easing in another finger. Your eyes fluttered closed at the filling sensation, savoring the delicious drag of his fingers as they slowly pumped in and out of you. Hyunjin took great care in building you up, exploring which spots were your weakest and prodding at them mercilessly until you were shaking beneath him. Right when you thought the sensation couldn't get more intense, Hyunjins' tongue slid over your sensitive clit, causing your hips to buck. Hyunjin grunted but continued licking and swirling his tongue over the bundle of nerves as his fingers continued to expertly press at your gummy walls. Hyunjin was reading you so well and all you could do was grasp at his hair and cry out pathetic moans beneath him.

Before you could even say anything, your orgasm rapidly built before exploding, your creaminess coating Hyunjins’ tongue and fingers. Your body shuttered, and Hyunjin continued to rub you walls as he helped ease you down.

“That's it, baby, you did so good. Just stay relaxed, okay?” Hyunjin cooed, licking you from his lips and fingers and reaching for the condom, “are you ready?”

“I- I think so,” you stammered out, surprised at yourself for managing to speak. Your head felt so cluttered, unable to believe Hyunjin just made you cum. Hyunjin, the guy you've known since you were a kid and who you've been able to platonically share a bed with. You were almost starting to second guess whether or not you should really go through with this, maybe Hyunjin was right about things changing, maybe it would change too much and you'd lose the closeness you had.

You didn't have time to dwell on these hesitant thoughts, Hyunjin unbuttoning his jeans and beginning to slip them down caught your full attention and you could do nothing but watch with bated breath as his stunning cock sprang free. It was too late. You had passed the point of no return, and there was nothing left to do but indulge, to let yourself dive as deep as you could and let yourself drown.

Or maybe that's just how Hyunjin was seeing it. Tonight did not go as he planned, before he deigned to open social media - all the while hiding in a tube slide at a child's park - he had gotten hurt, he was on the run, in overlapping shades of pain, his only solace being that at least you were having a good night with one of his friends. When Hyunjin had seen that the guy had ditched you for a party and some other girl, he couldn't think of a worse end to his night than leaving you to ache alone. So he ran to you, risking himself further with the exposure, but he didn't matter at that moment. He would swallow everything down, just for a chance to lift your spirits, he could deal with his own pain later, he just needed to help you otherwise he didn't think he could last the night.

He truly wasn't thinking of himself when he kissed you, Hyunjin only wanted to do whatever he could to prove to you that you are worthy of being wanted. But when you pulled him close, when you wanted more, Hyunjin realized he needed the same thing - only in a slightly different way.

Tonight had been horrible for you and Hyunjin before he came to you. He was not going to let the sun rise without something good happening for the both of you not realizing that the moment he took your hand in his, both sets of clothes now discarded on your bedroom floor, lips and tongues melting together as his protected head teasing your entrance, that he was giving the both of you the thing you wanted from each other the most.

It hurt, of course, but Hyunjin was gentle. Easing himself in and out in sections, going inch by inch and refusing to push deeper until you were accustomed. He didn't want you to cry. He refused to make you bleed, and when he finally finally bottomed out, you thought you were going to faint from how shallow your breathing was.

“Breath, baby, breath,” he whispered, kissing you tenderly, “I won't move until you breathe.”

“Hyunjin…” you whined, wrapping your arms around his neck and drinking in his gentle attention. “It's okay, you can move, it doesn't hurt,” you reassured. With a few more kisses, Hyunjin rested his forehead for yours before he slowly rolled his hips into yours.

You squeezed your eyes shut, the sensation - while not entirely painful - felt foreign, and you struggled to acclimate quickly, but you refused to let him stop. You knew you just needed to ride this out, that it would get better, and it did. You could feel your body accepting him and soon wanting more.

“Jinnie… more, it's not enough, more,” you mewled, wrapping your legs around his waist in an attempt to draw him closer.

“Okay, Beautiful, I'll take care of you. Just lay back, Jinnie will make you feel good,” Hyunjin murmured, pressing kissing into your neck and picking up his pace, earning himself a few sweet moans.

It was only when all tension left your body that Hyunjin dared to truly let himself enjoy you. Adjusting so he was on his knees, he pulled your legs up, holding each behind your knees as he began to truly fuck himself into you. Hyunjin watched as your sweet, shy moans turned into heated, wanton screams as he plowed into your gummy spot. Never did he think he would see you make such a gorgeous face or hear your pussy make such filthy squelching sounds as his dick slipped in and out of you. For a moment, Hyunjin thought he was dreaming as he watched you drown in bliss below him. If he was, he never wanted to wake up. He wanted to stay right here, in this too-good-to-be-true moment where all the worries from hours ago purged themselves from his mind.

“Hyun… Jin… Jinnie…” you gasped out, feeling the pressure from your building orgasm start to grow.

“Does it feel good, Beautiful? Are you gonna cum?” He asked in ragged breaths.

“Yes… yes, I think I'm close. Oh, please don't stop,” you begged, closing your eyes and throwing your head back onto your pillow. Almost as soon as you finished uttering those words, your body clenched around him as you came for the second time, a creamy ring coating Hyunjins dick.

“Fuck, baby,” Hyunjin groaned, slamming his dick into you more rapidly as he chased his own orgasm.

Feeling his hips beginning to stutter, you forced your tired eyes to open just in time to watch Hyunjins’ beautiful face twist in pleasure as he came, melodic moans bouncing off your walls. You did your best to memorize that face as he came down from his high.

After a moment of catching his breath, Hyunjin eased himself out of you to remove the condom, your body giving a shudder at the lack of his body heat.

“Let's clean up, yeah?” Hyunjin suggested, helping you up from the bed and leading the two of you to the bathroom. The following intimate moments of clean-up felt oddly comfortable and right. Once your post-orgasm bliss had faded, you expected an air of awkwardness to be lingerie around you both, but there never was.

“Hey, can I wear your flanel?”

“What?” Hyunjin asked with a laugh.

“That's what always happens in the movies. The girl wears the guys clothes after sex. I kinda wanna try it.”

“Just for a bit? That's dumb,” he replied but handed you his flannel anyway as he grabbed the rest of his clothes to put back on.

You needed to change out of your lingerie set, so you opted to wear nothing but his flannel, a comfort pair of panties, and some knee-high socks. You wanted to wear his shirt for the bit, so you were going to commit. Besides, he had officially seen too much for you to be shy at this point.

“Was this food meant to be for tonight?” Hyunjins voice called from the kitchen. You didn't notice he had left your room since he didn't bother to shut the door.

“Yeah,” you replied as you joined him in the dimly lit kitchen, missing his double take and blushing at your choice in attire. “I was actually going to come eat it before you showed up. It's meant for two, want some, or have you eaten?”

“I haven't. Go rest, I'll heat this up.” With a smile, you nodded, leaning up to place a peck on his still tinted cheek.

“Thank you for coming tonight, Jinnie. I needed it.”

“Yeah, of course, Beautiful,” he said as you walked into the living room, “I needed it too…” he added, but you were too far to hear.

It didn't take long for the food to be reheated and soon the two of you were nestled on the couch together, sharing a blanket in the dark living room as one of the movies you had picked out for tonight played.

“In a way, I'm kind of glad the jackass never showed up, I got to have this date with you instead,” Hyunjins said rather sincerely. It made your heart flutter.

“I'm glad too. He set you up to come to my rescue and make my night better. Maybe even better than if he had actually shown up.”

“Do you really mean that?” Hyunjin asked, his heart melting as he set down his plate to pull you close and nuzzle you, “awwwww you're too sweet!”

“Alright, alright, that's enough!” You laughed, pushing his face from yours. You had meant the gesture to be light-hearted, but your nerves spiked the instant Hyunjins head shot back in recoil, giving a small hiss of pain. “Oh my god, Hyunjin, are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't mean-”

“No, no, no, it's ok,” he reassured, his hand hovering over his eye as if he wanted to soothe the skin but feared touching it.

“Are you sure? Let me see,” you attempted to get closer, but Hyunjins long arm held you back.

“I'm fine, Y/N, let's just watch the movie.”

You blinked at him before frowning and attempted to lunge at him again.

“Hyunjin, what are you hiding from me?”

“Nothing!” He said a little too defensively. Not in the mood to play games, you stood from the couch and walked off. Hyunjin assumed this was you pouting but ultimately dropped the matter, how wrong he was.

Stomping to the light switch, you bathed the livingstone in bright light, noticing the completely unsubtle way Hyunjin dove for cover. You weren't letting this slide. Over to the couch, you didn't even attempt to pull away the pillow Hyunjin used to cover his face, instead climbing on top of him and began to tickle his sides. Instantly, his body began to jerk and wiggle, but he was adamant on not letting you see his face. However, he was struggling to handle your body on top of him and soon had no choice but to tip the both of you off the couch in an attempt to ease the ache.

This did not work in his favor. Easily catching yourself, you now stood over him, the small fall making him release his grip on the pillow just enough for you to yank it from his hands.

Your arms paused as you held the pillow mid-air in shock. Your eyes weren't playing tricks earlier. It wasn't just a trick of the light. Blooming across his cheek bone and at the corner of his lips were two bruises, and there was even a small cut near his brow that would easily be covered by his hair, were he not on his back.

“Hyunjin, what happened to you…?” You breathed, dropping the pillow. Slowly dropping to your knees, you sat on Hyunjins hips, keeping him pinned in place so he couldn't escape.

Hyunjin didn't answer. He couldn’t even meet your eyes as your fingers barely ghosted over the discolored skin. Without realizing it, you dropped your hand on his side, only to snap your hand away when he flinched in pain. You sat as still as a statue for a few moments before reaching down and lifting his shirt, showing more discoloration.

You felt horrible. How could you not notice? How could you not see? The instant the thought popped into your head, realization hit you.

“This is why you didn't want to be by the front door… with the light right on you. You didn't worry in my room cause the lights were off, and in the bathroom and kitchen too… There was only dim lighting. It was so I couldn't see.” The look of guilt on Hyunjins face was all you needed to confirm that you were right. He was hiding this from you, but why? What happened to your Hyunjin that he came to you so hurt?

“Please don't cry, beautiful. You've already cried so much tonight.”

“Then tell me what happened,” you said firmly.

Hyunjins lips pressed together, he didn't want to open up, he especially didn't want to ruin the special evening you two were just having together. But he knew you wouldn't let this slide, and if he was honest… someone about the way you were dressed brought him back to the surprising feeling of comfort he felt while being in bed with you.

“... okay,” he eventually relented, gingerly sitting up and bumping noses with you. “But kiss me first.”

“Huh?”

“Just… please.”

He sounded so tired and defeated. Wanting nothing more than to swallow up all his pain, you didn't hesitate again, wrapping your arms around his neck and bushing your lips over his.

Hyunjin kissed you back desperately, wrapping his arms around you and holding on to you. If he didn't, he felt he would fall apart, a stark contrast to the way he held you in your doorway. You didn't realize when his hand had slipped under his flanel until his nails raked over your back, raising goosebumps in their wake as his hands traveled between your bodies.

“Hyunjin,” you called, pulling from his lips. He didn't stop, his lips dropping to your neck the moment you pulled away. “Hyunjin,” you said again, attempting to sound more stern with little success. You were melting under his touch again.

“I just want to feel you against me,” he mumbled against your skin, unbuttoning the flannel and opening it just enough to expose you, but not take it off completely. He then pulled back, once again pulling off his tee before leaning back into you, his arms snaking around you under his shirt and his face buried in the crook of your neck.

You two stayed stationery in that position for a few moments, the only sound coming from your forgotten move. Not knowing what else to do for Hyunjin, at that moment, you slid your fingers into his hair and scratched gently at his skull. Only then did Hyunjin finally relax. He finally felt the same warmth, safety, and intimacy from earlier, making it easier for him to finally explain what happened.

You weren't the only one heartbroken that night. Hyunjin had gotten involved with an older woman. He was really having fun with her. He thought she actually cared about him. She made him feel like somebody. But right when he thought things were going great, that's when everything went wrong.

What was supposed to be a normal night together turned into him finding out she was married in the worst way possibly, with her husband catching them getting hot and heavy together and beating the shit out of Hyunjin for messing around with someone he shouldn't. The guy wouldn't even believe Hyunjin when he said he didn't know the woman was married.

Turns out this woman has a history of luring young, hot guys to her with tons of spoiling and praise, only to then have her way with them until her husband finds out and beats the shit out of the poor boy. Rinse and repeat, right up to Hyunjin. The latest in a line of victims.

Hyunjin managed to get away but never before had he felt so cheap and pathetic, this wasn't the first time a girl slept with him for her own gain but sometimes about this time just made him feel so… worthless. It brought tears to his eyes to admit this, and he clung to you tightly as he cried.

You've never known Hyunjin could cry so hard, and it broke your heart to learn that this happened to him, but you were also proud of him. He said he never intended on telling anyone and that he was just going to hold on to this until the day he died, but he didn't. He told you, he let it out, and even though it broke your heart to see him like this, you wanted him to always talk to someone, even if it wasn't you. You also promised that you would do whatever it took to make him comfortable enough to open up, that while you couldn't fix his problems, you could be his safe place.

“It's funny, but… this is what we're doing right now. It's what I need. This is my safe place,” Hyunjin admitted, his lips tickling your collar bone.

“The skin contact??” By now you and Hyunjin had made your way back to your bed, settling in under the covers, each of you wearing next to nothing so Hyunjin could feel as much of you against him as possible.

“Kinda, just… the intimacy of it all. If I could, I'd be buried inside you again. I want to be as close to you as I can. It makes me feel like I'm not worthless. It makes me feel wanted.”

“Having your dick in someone makes you feel wanted?” You teasingly asked with a giggle.

“No, baby,” Hyunjin replied with a laugh, lifting his head from your chest to fix you with a soft stare. “I only feel like this because it's you. The only girl I've shared years of my life and my darkest secrets. The only girl who trusts me so much she'd ask me to be her first and who loves me enough to sit in and listen to my problems the same night.” You were too stunned to speak, but you were sure Hyunjin could see just how red your face was. “You're my closest and most trusted friend, Y/N. I think sex and stuff like that will only feel this special, this safe and warm, with you.” It was also because Hyunjin was secretly in love with you too, but he decided to keep that part to himself, he wanted to enjoy this moment, this look on your face, for just a little while longer.

“I… I think so too, Hyun. It won't ever mean the same with anyone else,” you said, decidingly also refusing to admit the feelings you've been harboring for Hyunjin.

A sweet smile spread across Hyunjin's face, his eyes curving into crescents. You knew you were essentially digging your own grave, dooming yourself to what you assumed was going to be a mainly physical relationship, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. Not when Hyunjin looked so irresistible and said such endearments, snuggling against you and showering your skin with kisses, leading you two to get lost in each other again until you fell asleep in each other's arms, only for him to cling to you the all throughout the next morning. If you could just have more moments like this with him, it would all be worth it. Anything to be the safe space for the boy you were so desperately in love with.

○●☆♡☆●○

“So that's it, that's how you and Hyunjin became, well, you and Hyunjin. You were in love with him, and you were his security blanket.”

“I mean, kinda,” you replied, polishing off the last of your water bottle and opening another. “Sex with me, at least at the beginning, meant so much to him because I was someone who really cared about him. He never had to doubt if I was doing things with him for clout or for some sick kick. That gave him a sense of safety, and it gave him space to open up. And I was only too eager to please cause not only was I completely in love with him, but he did mean so much to me beyond that. He was a friend who put everything aside, even his own issues, to look out for me.”

“Which is why you feel bad you can't be as close to him as you used to be and why when he keeps things to himself, it bothers you so much.”

“Exactly.” Heaving a deep sigh, you rummaged through your pile of trash to hopefully find an unopened piece of candy. Meanwhile, Felix sat silently next to you, feeling sympathetic to your situation.

“I take it you and Changbin haven't talked about any of this?” Felix asked tentatively, making you pause your search.

“... No, I'm not even sure if it's worth bringing up,” you admitted, laying back against Felix's mattress and watching his ceiling fan turn. “It was such a big part of my life, but it's over now. I made my choice, and I chose myself. I'm finally with someone who's as much mine as I am theirs. I don't want to throw a wrench into things by telling him about something that ended before we even got together.”

“So you have no regrets then?”

“None. I'm happy with Changbin, even if I don't get to see him as often as I like.”

Just then, the sound of Chan's door opening and closing caught yours and Felix's attention. It was the first time you've heard any noise coming from him since you even got to the boys' shared apartment, and upon checking the time, you noticed that it was already 11 in the evening.

“Hey, how often do you get to see Bin?” Felix asked.

“Barely… I see him just slightly more often than I see my own roommate.”

“I hardly see my roommate anymore either,” Felix said, a deep sense of dread building in him. “How… How long has it been since you and Bin started dating?” You swallowed hard at his question, choosing instead to focus on the sound of Chan rustling through the kitchen before returning to his room. You knew where Felix was going with this.

“It's only been a little over a month.”

A tense silence settled between the two of you, neither one of you daring to say it. But you knew what he was thinking. You could feel the worry radiating off of Felix's slender body, seeping into your bones. You had essentially severed your deepest and longest lasting relationship to be with Changbin, and now, due to one stroke of chance you barely get to see him and can't even turn to the person from your second longest lasting relationship for aid.

What's going to happen to your freshly established relationship if this demand for 3racha keeps going? How will you survive not being able to see, not only your boyfriend, but one of your best friends who championed your budding connection to said boyfriend? Especially when the only deep connection you had left was someone you were desperately attempting to put space around?

These worries troubled you. Long after Felix's attempts to sedate them, long after you bid him good night and drove yourself home, and long after, you readied yourself inside your all too silent apartment and clambered into bed. You had been so happy for 3racha, so determined to support them, but now all that lingered over head was the fact that in one fleeting moment you realized you no longer had the steady foundation built by the three most precious people in your life.

---------------------------------------

Well... this chapter certainly ended up taking on a life of its own, and as I mentioned in this post, it ended up coming to mean a bit more to me than the other chapters.

Anyway, I had intended on this to be a bonus chapter, but I thought it flowed better as part of the main story. I'm getting better at placing the back stories/flashbacks.

If you go back to the first couple of chapters, you can see I was formatting the story differently. I was struggling with the build-up of the story and then found my stride in later chapters. If I allow myself to be a bit delulu for a moment, if i ever get my E. L. James or Anna Todd moment, I'd definitely go back and re-write those beginning segments.

Taglist: @groovygroovyhyunjin @hhwangsmoon @luvyblossom @doggezz@kayleefriedchicken @hyunjinhoexxx

81 notes · View notes

she-posts-nerdy-stuff · 4 months

Text

I’ve taken a night to get my emotions and my brain in order so now let’s talk: Percy Jackson and The Olympians Season One Finale. And oh my goodness you guys, I loved it so much. I cried, I screamed, and I drank blue cocktails. (we tried to make blue cookies as well but they just came out beige with the tiniest hint of kinda green, but they still tasted good)

BOOK AND SHOW SPOILERS AHEAD!

I have been a fan of Charlie Bushnell's Luke all season but I was really waiting for this episode to truly see his interpretation of the character and OH MY GOD HE DID NOT DISAPPOINT. I cried. He can freaking ACT and he was absolutely incredible (tbc I'm not saying no-one else has been acting to the same incredible standards because they absolutely have but I'm particularly praising him because this is really the first opportunity he's had to truly show us what he can do). The fact that the show managed to surprise me (as someone who was first read the books when I was six and has loved and reread them over and over again since) with the interpretation of Luke it presented completely blew me away, and I LOVE this interpretation of him so let's talk about it. I firmly believe that Percy and Luke are literary foils and each represent everything the other had the potential to become, so to see the set up of a potentially far more emotional arc for Luke was really beautiful to me and I think it was really well done; the fight scene in the forest so perfectly exemplified everything between them that is so similar and so distinctly different. The pain we saw in Luke in this scene was so genuinely moving and it I think it sets up a really interesting implication for his arc towards being willing to kill other demigods as either being slower or as being partly influenced by the pain he feels from losing Annabeth - when he looked at her I could hear I'm on her side, always. She's my little sister. and it was heart-breaking. At first I wasn't sure about the absence of the pit scorpion but I think it makes a lot of sense for this adaptation since if he was emotional and didn't want to kill Percy but had taken the scorpion out there with him it just wouldn't add up - however, I do think that Percy should have been injured in the fight. It didn't have to be anything that stopped the series from being PG because that would be unnecessary and as teens and adults who enjoyed the books a long time ago we know that this show isn't made for our age group so we shouldn't be expecting any gore or anything, but I do think that the show hasn't consistently represented the stakes as being as high as they were in the books. That being said, I adored this scene and the fight, I think it was absolutely the correct choice for this interpretation of Luke and maybe this is an unpopular opinion I don't know, but I am really glad that Annabeth was there because I think it's so important for her to be able to see this first hand instead of having the news passed on to her and it potentially gives us a really interesting set up to explore her emotional response to his betrayal in a slightly different way. It's also incredible to me to note that Luke's demeanour changed when Annabeth revealed herself; he is a different person in her absence because of the façade he puts up for her and this for me was really reflective of the way when Annabeth describes them first travelling to camp she idolises the way he fought off so many monsters to protect them but Thalia describes it as him picking unnecessary fights and endangering them.

This is maybe an inconsequential detail, but for me it was massive: the change in lighting at the betrayal reveal emphasised Luke's scar far more noticeably than before and in this moment, reminding book readers of the pain he went through and of Hermes' failures, Percy is literally seeing Luke in a new light. Incredible. Now maybe I'm just misremembering but I was convinced that it was in the first book that Luke told Percy how he got his scar, but I remember it being quite a brief retelling and Luke skating over the details quite quickly. I think that's because we only get it from Percy's perspective in the books and Luke is unable to fully articulate his experiences because of the pain it causes him, so I'm wondering whether not telling us about his quest thus far is because not having a limited POV is going to give us the opportunity to truly understand Luke's pain, and maybe even show us flashbacks, later on, which I think has brilliant potential and could be utterly heart-breaking and amazing if it's done well. I'm really glad that there's already been reference to May Castellan (the way I want to cry just thinking about herrrrrrr. I am not emotionally prepared to see May Castellan on screen anyway, but the prospect of seeing her during a far more emotional character arc for Luke is terrifying and so exciting and I can't wait it's gonna destroy me) and I although at first it struck me as strange that they'd included Hermes in season 1, I think I now understand that it was quite important for us to have a better understanding of Hermes attitude towards Luke and the fact that Annabeth had met him before very obviously explaining that there's more to understand about their relationship, but ALSO because it added so so much to the Percy/Luke parallels by showing us Hermes' failures and Poseidon's successes. I think that the presentation of Poseidon was so brilliantly done, I cannot explain to you the scream that I screamed when the camera panned round to reveal that Poseidon was standing in between Zeus and Percy; they so perfectly showed the awkwardness and discomfort of their relationship in synchronicity with Poseidon genuinely wanting to care for and protect Percy, and I think that it did such a good job of highlighting the difference between Hermes and Poseidon and the subsequent impact on Luke and Percy respectively. The first I heard that my sister had started watching the episode (tbc she knew I'd already finished it) was an all caps text message saying" HE SURRENDERED". Because that means SO MUCH to us as the viewer! It was massive!!!!!!!! It was incredible!!!! It also made so much sense as to why they had let the solstice pass, because we needed to see this and so much more importantly PERCY needed to see this. I hope I'm getting my point across this feels kind of like rambling nonsense, but when we have this more sympathetic image of Luke it is therefore so important to understand why we so confidently believe he's in the wrong and for me that came most prominently from the way Poseidon did enough for Percy to show him that he cared the only way he knew how to, and in Luke using Percy's own fatal flaw against him in their final sword fight. Percy's fatal flaw is his loyalty and in that fight the moment he thought he'd hurt Luke he stopped and apologised, only for Luke to exploit his feelings of friendship and use them against him to keep fighting. Again, I think this could have been more effective if Percy was actually injured but I understand why they didn't and I wouldn't have suggested they cut anything else to have enough time to include that.

And whilst we're on parallels as well, I don't think there are any words to explain what I felt when we heard "You didn't ask to be a half-blood". Like... yeah, literally nothing, I can't explain it, it was incredible.

I was going to talk about Annabeth being allowed to be a kid but I actually saw a post about that yesterday by @mydairpercabeth so I'll link it here.

Okay if you bothered to read this far thank you very much, let me know what you thought of the show and the finale too!! And also I've been avoiding talking about this too much up until now, I made a post when the first two episodes came out but I've been quiet since because I wanted to watch the whole season first, so if anyone wants more of this/wants thoughts on any of the other episodes let me know! Thanks for reading I hope it made some semblance of sense :)

94 notes · View notes

eeunoia · 1 year

Text

ENHYPEN Mini Series

E N H Y P E N in an Apocalypse

part one

pairings: nishimura riki x reader

summary: you are in your school when the outbreak happened. lucky for you, your bestfriend ni-ki was there to protect and take care of you.

short background: before the outbreak happened, the spread of the infection happened when one of the student went to the science laboratory and got bitten by an infected animal.

THIS SERIES ARE INSPIRED BY THE SERIES: ALL OF US ARE DEAD.

warnings: blood, violence, mention of abuse and everything about a zombie apocalypse. not proof read. (let me know if i forgot something)

word count: 10k

important note📎: sorry if the style of updates changed. i will fix it once i get a chance.

note📎: Hi I just want to give you heads up that some scenes may be similar from the series. I give full credits to them! I hope you guys liked it! it really means a lot to me whenever you let me know what you think about them, re-blogs and comments are well appreciated. btw, i love you guys and thank you for supporting me up until now. have a nice day/night! 🤍

permanent tag-list: @rubyanne @studioreader @map-of-border @hwangjangmi @crjwon @love13tter @kako-chan @classicroyalty @angel-hyuckie @jun-malone @ncityy04 @bridgebridgebirdiebridge @fearlesskz @abdiitcryy @hime98 @moonsclover @hoonstrology @ddeonubaby @yeoungie @acciomylove @mymeloem19 @jvngw0n @dreamyenskz @minamoons @clar-iii @notmyselfbuttrying @herasalvatore @nyfwyeonjun @nikipedia07 @yangbreads @rcveribin @yizhoutv @person-standing @black-bread1230 @one16core @soobin-chois @kyutiepeachy @chareadingpurposes @hwalllllllelujah @solelyenha @90sni-ki @nourhan-8 @drunkjazed @kimmchijjajang @hoonbrry @axartia @all4haru @hiqhkey @star-rie @niinjo @ssomsworld @purplepuppychild @iceeee @wtfhyuck @tobiosbbyghorl @edensgardenn @nikililmj @ayayiiie @moonlightisland @simpforniki

tag-list: @luvvdsttfaye @nikililmj @psh-pjh @rylexe @095won @belle643 @luvrjn @jangwonie @softb-tterfly @3chae @jovibaes

"That's Ni-ki! Bye, Dad!" you stood up right away from your seat while trying to fit as much food that you can take inside your mouth.

"W-Wait. Aren't you going to finish your breakfast first?" your father followed and watched your every move.

With mouth full of food, you quickly went around gathering your things and fixing yourself. You're in the middle of eating your breakfast with your Dad when you heard the doorbell rang. You are very much sure that its your best-friend, Ni-ki.

"Slow down, y/n!" you even heard your father reminded you while you stumble your way over to the your door.

You glanced at him smiling so wide before you waved as good-bye then pushed the door open using your body.

Ni-ki, whose leaning by the balcony of your apartment building glanced at you and smirked seeing your cheeks stuffed with food. He turned his back at the balcony to face you while grinning, ready to tease you already.

"Hurry up, slow poke." he teased that made you turn your head at his direction.

"You're so annoying!" your words came out as a mumble because your mouth is still full of food.

Ni-ki laughs at you before walking closer, smoothly pulling out his tumbler out from his bag to hand it over to you. With confused eyes you glanced at it then back at him. He rolled his eyes and opened it for you.

"Drink. I can't understand anything you're saying."

You were glaring at him but accepted his offer. He just scoffed because of your attitude and watched carefully as you take a sip from his tumbler. He sighed and you blushed a bit when he noticed how his stares remained at you.

While you're still at it, Ni-ki gently grabs your things to carry them himself.

You two grew up together and so you basically know him his whole life. He's your best friend but you secretly have feelings for him. Sometimes, you give hints to him but you don't know if he's ignoring it or he's just really dense. You also doubt if he likes you because he often tease you and treat you like you're not a girl.

"Yah, I told you to wake up early last night, didn't I?" he said and was looking at you with squinted eyes.

You flashed him a sweet smile, guilty that you did stayed up late, the main reason why you couldn't wake up early to prepare for school. After successfully swallowing the food inside your mouth, you asked Ni-ki to turn around so you can put his tumbler back inside. He obliged and he started discussing something about this new game he's obsessing about.

Your mornings with Ni-ki starts with him picking you up here at your home then the two of you will walk your way to school. Its been your routine ever since and honestly you cherish this moments with him.

"By the way, you're coming later right?" he asked you suddenly and even stopped from walking that made you bumped into him.

You grunted and massaged your forehead. Ni-ki chuckled at your clumsiness and so you shoot him glares. "You're so stupid. Come here." he was still chuckling while he gently grabs your arm to put you ahead of him where he can perfectly see you.

"How many times would I tell you to always walk ahead of me?"

You rolled your eyes, "Where are you going later?" you divert the topic right away because its too early for his scolding.

Ni-ki raised a brow at you before smoothly throwing his arm around your shoulder, "You mean 'where are we going later, right?" he emphasized the word 'we' for you to get the idea that he'll bring you with him no matter what.

You gave him this displeased look before crossing your arm, "Why bother asking if you already made your decision for me?"

He glanced at you with a smirk before shrugging his shoulders once.

"To piss you off."

You showed a blank face before hitting him by your elbow. He lets out a grunt but didn't let go from you, instead he leaned closer and even gave you his weight. Now, Ni-ki is very tall and so it wasn't a surprise that it gave you a hard time.

"Yah! You're heavy!" you scold him and even swat his chest. He grunted once again and even before you can say something, he leaned to your arm then slightly bite it making you yelp in surprise.

"Nishimura Riki!" you shouted his name while staring at his tall figure running away from you. He was giggling and even showing you these mischievous facial expressions to piss you even more.

He always resort to biting you whenever you two get into your playful fights.

As you arrived inside your building, you saw a familiar built and quickly approached it with a big wide smile. You held them in a headlock position that made him surprised.

"Good morning, Sunoo!" you greeted happily.

You felt him grab your arm and using his other free hand, he gently held your waist for support.

"Yah, let go of me." he said with a threatening voice. You laughed at it, not taking it seriously.

You've known him ever since first grade because he's good friends with Ni-ki. Even if he looks kind of intimidating when he's serious, that didn't stop you from teasing him. Out of all their group of friends, Sunoo is the one closest to you after Ni-ki.

You obliged after he started tickling you. While laughing and avoiding him, you accidentally bumped towards someone. When you checked who it was, a smirk made its way on your lips and got him on headlock instead.

"Who said you can leave me back there after biting me, huh?" you asked right away.

You felt Ni-ki's hand holding your waist and unlike when Sunoo did it, you felt something inside your stomach went crazy after his affection. You gulped and tried your best not to look obvious.

Ni-ki on the other hand wasn't as playful as before you guys arrived at the school. His eyes were looking at his Sunoo hyung like as if he did something terrible. You didn't make a big deal out of it.

"Are you even a girl?" Sunoo teased you that made you glare at him. He smirked and your hold over Ni-ki loosen because you started approaching Sunoo to attack him.

Sunoo laughed and was so ready to shield himself from your wrath when you're held back by an arm around your shoulder. It was Ni-ki's.

"Let's go before the bell ring at us." he said and started pulling you in the direction of your classroom. Sunoo followed behind because he's in the same class. You two continued arguing and Ni-ki was just there trying to stood between you two. He sometimes covers your mouth using his big hands that annoy you at some point.

You greeted your classmates inside like as if you didn't just argued with Sunoo and Ni-ki along the way. Some of them smiled. You walked towards your seat which is beside Ni-ki's. He put your things at the top of your table and sat down at his place.

You pouted when you saw him leaning over his table, in a sleeping position. You dragged your chair closer to him, "Hey." you poked him lightly and you pursed your lips even more when you didn't get any response from him.

"Are you sleepy?"

"No."

"Then why are you like that?" you asked and leaned closer to him so you can hear if ever he says something.

He didn't respond right away. Thinking that maybe he's slowly drifting to dreamland, you leaned your face closer.

"Riki?" you called him gently just in case he already fell asleep.

You raised your hand and pushed it near his head, but then the young boy suddenly turned and faced you. He caught you off-guard as you just suddenly found yourself face to face with him. Very close, like your nose touching his nose kind of close.

Unlike you, he doesn't seem fazed about your closure. With enlarged eyes, you were about to move your face away when he reached over your nape and stopped you. He gently pulled you, making your foreheads touch.

"You're so loud." he said using his low voice.

Your mouth gapped and unable to find words to say. You can feel your heart beating so fast and your cheeks blushing so hard. The thing inside your stomach were going mad crazy, like something wants to come out from it.

His eyes were staring at yours deeply and for some reasons, you do it as well. You've always admired Ni-ki's eyes. How they became a thin line whenever he's laughing genuinely or even when they're cold and blank while he's bored or sleepy. Regardless of his emotions, they seem to be very attractive for you.

Finally snapping back to your senses, you used your hand to cover his face and slowly release yourself from his hold. Like a speed of lightning, you quickly moved your chair away from him. Once you let go of his face, his eyes never left you. A smirk plays through his thick lips while still keeping his position. He stared and watch how you looked so flustered because of his actions. He enjoyed it.

He enjoyed it so much and the fact that only him can make you like that makes it even more amazing.

The day went on like normal day. Teachers discussing their lessons, your small petty arguments with Ni-ki althrough out of it and some bonding with your classmates and friends. It was pretty much how you spent your school days.

When lunch came, you, together with some of Ni-ki's friends went to the cafeteria. Eyes follows your group as you made your way over to an empty table. You ignored them and tried to convince yourself that its just normal for them to stare, specially if this group is composed with almost the school's/campus' crush/es.

Yes, your best friend is one of them. You always playfully gags whenever he's being smug about it, but at the back of your mind, you couldn't actually blame them for liking him.

He's very attractive. He have good body proportions, good-looking, from a wealthy family, tall and sporty. He just lacks a bit more from academics side since he's very lazy, but he makes up for it. The girls in your school clearly digs his bad boy and misterious aura.

You pulled a chair and was about to sit on it when Ni-ki beats you into it. You glared at him that he only returned with a sly smile and followed it with a, "Oh how thoughtful of you, y/n. You're really the bestest friend in the world."

You didn't waste any time and hit him at the back of his head then cursed at him. He was just laughing with it, enjoying that he once again accomplished his mission and that is to piss you off.

Sunoo arrived next to you and pulled a chair for you, "Here, sit down." he said with a smile before settling down at the next chair.

You pouted at his kind gesture and was about to oblig when Ni-ki suddenly pulled you away from it. With a confused and still annoyed face, you glared at him. He sat down at the chair Sunoo pulled for you then made you sit down at the chair next to it. (which is the one you pulled a while ago)

You had no choice but to sat down at that chair. Ni-ki have this victory smirk while you look sulky because of him. Now he's sitting between you and Sunoo.

"You two are so childish." you even heard Sunoo commented.

"Shut up hyung." Ni-ki replied before asking you what you want for lunch and volunteered to buy food for the two of you.

The next day, you surprisingly prepared ahead and managed to wait for him right outside your apartment door. To say that he looked amused for you being early was an understatement. He put his hand over his lips and slowly walked closer to you.

You smiled proudly at him and even jokingly looked at your watch, "Tsk. Hurry up slow poke."

Ni-ki laughed at your remark and was quick to put you in a headlock.

"Did you even sleep? You are too early, y/n. I almost thought you aren't my best friend."

You glared at him and elbowed him. He grunted jokingly. When you arrived outside the apartment building, Ni-ki pushed his fist out indicating another war to start between the two of you. With a smirk, you prepared yourself for the battle.

"Rock, paper, scissors!" you both yelled. It was a tradition between you to do this and the loser will be the one to carry your bags up until the school.

Your smiling lips slowly grew into a pout when you saw Ni-ki showing his fist at you meaning you once again lost to him. He gave you his bag as he smirked annoyingly at you. While gritting your teeth, you kicked him causing for him to let out a groan. You ignored it and walked pass at him.

When you arrived inside the school, Ni-ki run away from you when he saw some friends that greeted him from afar. You think they're the ones who plays videogames with him.

Since you aren't pretty familiar to them, you decided you'll walk ahead and won't wait for Ni-ki anymore.

Even before you can start to walk the stairs to the second floor, someone stood in front of you.

"Hi," the guy greeted.

You looked at him with a furrowed brows. He's the guy from yesterday. The one in Nicholas' team. He kept his smile despite of your unfriendly expression.

"Sorry if I made you uncomfy yesterday." he started again.

The crease over your forehead slowly disappeared when you slowly felt like he meant no harm.

"It's okay." you answered back.

He looked excited after getting a response from you. He kept his smile and extended his hand towards you.

"I'm (random name) btw." he introduced.

You looked at his hand first before you gazing back at him. After letting out a sigh, you were about to accept it when a hand swat it away from you. Even before you knew it, Ni-ki's familiar wide back was now your view.

"Didn't I told you to fuck off yesterday?" he seriously said.

The guy didn't seem to be fazed about him and retrieved his hand to put it inside his pocket. He smirked at Ni-ki.

"I was just introducing myself to y/n." there's a hint of teasing on his tone. Ni-ki advances and was about to talk again but you beat him to it.

You held over his arm, "Ni-ki." you called him using your warning tone.

It isn't really good to let him be since obviously, he's pissed and he won't hesitate to throw punch anytime now. That would be a big mess and he will be in great trouble so as his bestfriend, you are keeping him from getting involve.

They both looked at your direction. You stared at Ni-ki for a while before you darted your piercing gaze at the guy in front. He looked curious as he smiled at you.

You stepped forward and sighed, "Stop pissing him off. It would be better for you to avoid me. It would spare you two from getting in trouble."

You didn't wait for him to talk anymore and just pulled Ni-ki towards your classroom. It was his turn to smirk at the guy that clearly pissed him off.

After walking away, he gently pulled away from hold then get both of your things from you so he can carry it himself. When you looked over your shoulder, you saw this smile at his face.

"Why are you smiling?" you asked, curious.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Do you want some banana milk? I'll treat you." he suddenly offered that quickly brighten your mood.

"Sure!" he chuckled and pinched your nose before you two head over your room to put your bag down first.

You two were teasing each other after he treats you and now on your way back to the class. He hissed after you hit his back because he just messed your hair. It was a normal scene between the two of you.

When you arrived the room, your homeroom teacher appeared and entered the class. She asked everyone to take their sit to their respective places. Ni-ki was still teasing you that you only returned with a scoff.

She called everyone one by one to check the attendance and announced that one of your classmates didn't go home yesterday. You pouted and looked at Ni-ki. He was drinking his banana milk while listening to the teacher.

"Ni-ki." you tried calling him.

When he didn't look at you, you kicked his table causing him to finally spare you a glance.

"Didn't we saw Hana yesterday at the science lab?" you whispered at him.

He pursed his lips and furrowed his brows, like as if trying to recall his memories. He nodded his head after remembering that you guys saw her coming back to the science lab to take a nap. It was after you checked the lab to help Heeseung.

You all thought it was nothing. That Hana just went somewhere without telling her parents or maybe she's probably on her way home now. But all that changed when you saw how she slowly walked inside the room, covered in her own blood. Bruises all over her body.

You blinked continuously, couldn't really believe what you're seeing at the moment. You can see most of your classmates standing up to get a better view, some to avoid seeing it at a near position. Panic, worry and confusion filled the whole class. You saw how your homeroom teacher was completely caught off guard as well.

Ni-ki stood up and went closer to you. He held your arm and slightly blocked the view of Hana from you. You didn't even realized that you are standing as well. Hana collapsed after saying that the one responsible to what happened to her was your science teacher.

"Hey," Ni-ki turned and face you. He saw that you are still eyeing Hana's direction.

He cursed lightly and cupped your face to make you look at him in the eyes. Ni-ki doesn't know what exactly to feel after seeing how terrified you look. This was the first time he saw you like this.

"Don't look, okay?" he tried to divert your attention as everybody else panics because of what’s happening to Hana.

The boys quickly offered to help and take her to the clinic together with your teacher. She then left and asked everyone to calm down and to not say a word about it.

"Yah! Did you see her face?!" your eyes gazed at your classmates when she talked to her friend, a few tables away from where you are sitted.

"She said it was our science teacher!"

Your mind started to be occupied about the bothering things about your science teacher that your friends were talking about just last night.

"Y/n." Ni-ki lightly taps your face to catch your attention. He's starting to get really worried of you.

You glanced at him, still shock from what you just witnessed.

"Hana... she said it was the science t-teacher." you managed to say.

Ni-ki pursed his lips, starting to get frustrated how these things are affecting you. He glanced at his side when his Sunoo hyung handed him a bottled water.

"Make her drink some and calm her down. I will go and check what's going on through Jungwon." he said and Ni-ki nodded his head.

"Here," Ni-ki made you sit down to his chair before opening the water for you.

He grabbed your chair and dragged it closer to you. He made you take a sip and you are too occupied to even say no. After taking a sip and finally calming down a bit, Ni-ki assured you that it must have been just a misunderstanding so you don't have to be really worried.

Soon after, your advicer, Jungwon and Sunghoon returned. They said that Hana was taken to the hospital to get treated. Somehow, it made you felt relief. But the unsettled thing about your science teacher still lingers at the back of your mind. Is he really the one behind what happened to Hana?

“Just try and confess to him, y/n.” your eyes darted over to Kim Sunoo as you stood in front of him.

If there's somebody else who knows about your feelings for your best friend, its him.

"And then what? Lose my friendship with him? No thanks!" you said.

He chuckled, "Or he can return your feelings." he said that made you pout even more.

"Yah Kim Sunoo don't raise my hopes up." you said that made him chuckle and mess your hair up.

"You look cute when you're pissed like that." he said and you were about to swat his hand away but someone did it for you. Ni-ki have this serious face as he wrap his arm around your shoulder while eyeing his friend.

Sunoo can't help but to smirk at the reaction of his friend. How come you never notice this possessive actions of him whenever another guy lurks around you. He then flashed Ni-ki his sweet innocent smile that the younger one ignored.

"Uhh, do you guys want ice cream?" you interrupted when you felt this sudden awkward atmosphere surrounding the three of you.

Sunoo was the first one to respond to you, he flashed this sweet smile and was about to throw his arm over your shoulder but Ni-ki beats him to it.

"Let's go. Your treat." he said that made you frown and complain.

Sunoo's arm was still hanging at thin air, but he lets out a chuckle before following the two of you. Eventually, it went back to normal and you two were back to bickering nonstop. The three of you decided that it would be best to enjoy your ice cream by the benches beside the school field.

You were busy bickering with Ni-ki when you noticed one student running like a wild animal. It's not just that, he have these weird red stains all over his white uniform. Another one suddenly jumped over him and soon a lot more followed behind. All of them were acting strange.

"What are they doing?" you suddenly asked.

Ni-ki's smirk fell and followed where you're looking at. His brows slowly furrowed at the sight of students running around, attacking someone. His moved even before his brain can command it. He took a step closer to you as he hold your arm, pulling them to gently place you behind him.

"What the.." Ni-ki uttered under his breath as he watch how one student hovered another and attacked them.

Confusion and fear can be seen through his face. He can't understand what he's seeing right now. All he knows is that its dangerous and that he needs to protect you. You look beyond terrified at the scene in front of you. Its like from a popular movie.

Ni-ki's eyes diverted to a flock of students running towards the field. He gulped and nervously stared at them.

"Hyung..." he called the attention of the older one who seemed to be as confused and as scared at him.

"We need to go." he stated and just in time, they saw one running towards them.

Ni-ki cursed as you scream in fear. The student no longer look like one. Its eyes were all white, the black part almost nowhere to be seen. He have this bite marks all over his body and his uniform covered in fresh blood.

"Stay close to me." Ni-ki whispered and the three of you started running off towards your building.

Along the way, you saw a lot of other students running around and attacking each other. It was chaotic and you don't know what's happening anymore. You're a mess too.

The entrance to your building was a bit packed with students as well. Just by the looks of it, it was obvious that you will have a hard time getting inside and going to your classroom. You got more teary as you watch students falling out from the windows of your building. Ni-ki tried to ask you not to look at them.

You then let out a scream when one tried to attack you. Ni-ki held your waist and pulled you beside him then kicked that student off. He cupped your face, catching your gaze.

"You all right?" he asked that you answered with a quick nod of your head.

The three of you headed towards the stairs and Sunoo was behind making sure none of them follows behind to sneak up on you. Before you can arrive at the next floor, a couple of infected students run down to meet you. They were pretty aggressive so they're hard to hold off.

Sunoo was down over the stairs but Ni-ki was quick to help him. He pulled that infected away from his hyung and pushed him off the stairs. After he helped his hyung to get up, another set of students arrived causing for you two to be left with no choice but to go downstairs and run back outside the building.

Ni-ki was holding your hand tightly, continuously muttered comforting words, assuring you that he's right there and that he won't leave you alone. You're mind is slowly going blank out of fear, but you do trust him with all your life.

As you arrived outside, it was very chaotic. Students, teachers and even workers of the school scattered around chasing each other. Ni-ki and you walked around the building trying to find a way through.

"Watch out!" you screamed when you suddenly saw a truck going your way.

Ni-ki moved back to ditch it and you saw how it suddenly hit the side wall of the building. He glanced at you and asked if you were okay and you nodded again. You scanned him, trying to make sure he's okay as well.

He glanced back at the truck and his eyes then saw that there's a way you can go if you climb over it. He quickly pulled you towards it, avoiding some of the infected trying to go after you two.

You have no clue what his plan is, all you know is that you trust Ni-ki. You know he will protect you no matter what.

He helped you climb up to the back of the truck and you two head towards the front to use it as your step to climb at the small terrace of the second floor.

"Slowly." he whispered as he leaned over the wall and gave you his knee to step on.

He lets go of your hand and held your waist as support. After you make it, you quickly glanced at Ni-ki to check if he's coming. You panicked a bit seeing some of the infected students running his way.

Smoothly, he climbed up and you hugged him tightly. He taps your head gently trying to catch his breath after the stunt he just pulled. Both of you head inside and made sure to lock the door.

"Hyung!" your head turned after Ni-ki said that and you can't explain how happy you felt seeing Sunoo again.

You hugged him and he smiled a little.

"Let's head to our classroom. I'm sure they're inside." and the three of you hurry.

Just like how Sunoo said it, your classmates were inside. They're as terrified as you.

"Its one of those..." Ni-ki said that caught everyone's attention. "...zombies." your eyes remained at him. You heard one of your classmates lets out a scoff like what he just said is the most funny thing he heard today.

"You watched too many movies, Nishimura."

Ni-ki's jaw clenches and you know he's pissed off. He was about to say something but you held his arm to catch his attention. You shook your head side to side, telling him to just let it slide.

Even before he can speak, one of your classmates talked.

"Ni-ki's right. Come to think of it! They bite other people and then they become aggressive as well." the whole class fell silent after the smartest guy in the room said that.

Mixed of reactions can be heard. Some still don't believe it and some were starting to be even more scared. Who won't be? These things are only seen in the movies. They're not beaten and mostly ended with no definite solution. The things and actions you've seen in movies may be only possible in front of a camera and in films.

Nobody knows what will happen next.

Ni-ki moved closer to you and held both of your arm, catching your attention. His eyes were scanning you before they looked at yours.

"Are you okay?" his eyes looked so worried.

You nodded and brushed his hair, fixing it a bit. "Yeah. You?" you asked gently.

He nodded his head.

"Thank you for looking out on me."

He smiled a little, "Of course. I will always protect you.” he said and caressed your hair softly.

The whole class was as confused as you. Despite the theory the smartest guy said a while ago, some refused to believe it. You couldn’t really blame them as those scenes only happens in movie. For all of you, that is very impossible to happen.

“Everyone,” your head snaps at Jungwon, the class president, when he raised his hand as he catch the attention of your classmates. “we need to search every bag to find a phone.” he added.

You were ready to do as he say, but you heard (sh’s y/n) going against him that caused yet another argument. It was nothing new to you. She’s always been like that. Maybe because she’s wealthy and she gets everything she wants made her like this. You rolled your eyes and grabbed the bag near you to start searching.

Ni-ki followed after you, watching you from time to time. Some of your classmates are still arguing, but joined the search later on. After searching carefully, your heads snapped at the side when one announced that they found one.

A small hope errupts from your chest as relief slowly crept over your system. Just by knowing you succeeded on finding one to contact help from outside already gave you hope.

Now they all panics on how to open it. Stress were slowly emerging at the thought that you won’t be able to open it because it needs a password. And to your bad luck, the owner of the phone is not with you guys.

“There she is. Give me the phone.” Ni-ki said and grabbed the phone to give it a try.

He approached closer the door and placed it in front to access the face i.d lock. He is struggling so much.

“You need to move closer.” Sunghoon told Ni-ki that be quickly obliged. He tried moving closer but it’s still not working.

You sighed and slowly approached him. “You don’t need to unlock when calling an emergency number.” you informed him that made him pull away from where he is then started dialling number.

You watch him while he talked and informed the authorities about the situation. Not long after, you got surprised when you heard him cursing beside you.

“What did they said?” Jungwon asked.

You held over his arm and looked at him worried. He seemed so pissed about what’s happening.

“They didn’t believe me. They said if I’m pulling a prank on them, they’ll know who am I and I’ll get to serious trouble.” he said.

He clenched his jaw as he puts his hand down, the one holding the phone. You sighed and gently grabbed it from him.

“Let me try and call Dad.” you said and he nodded before standing behind you while he watch silently.

“The number you have dialed...” you bit your lower lip before cursing lightly at what you heard.

You tried dialling again and Ni-ki left because Jungwon calls for him to talk about something. You tried again and again, but its still the same. You cannot contact your father. Your heart sank as your mind slowly went blank. Fear is slowly consuming you, the fact that your father is not answering his phone which is rarely happens while all of this is happening is bothering.

“Hey,” your head snapped at your side when you felt his hand gently held your elbow to make you face him.

“You all right?” his brows twisted in a worried expression as he slowly roam his eyes over your face.

“I c-can’t contact my Dad.” you sound so worried.

Ni-ki pursed his lips before gently placing what he was holding over the table beside him. He sighed and gently cupped your face then stared you straight at your eyes.

“I’m sure he’s fine. Don’t worry too much, okay?” he tried comforting you.

Slowly you started to calm down then he asked you to keep the phone so you put it inside one of the pockets of your jacket. Ni-ki really know how to take care of you and how to calm you down at these type of situation.

You nodded. He gave you a small smile before caressing your cheeks using his thumb, then lets go to go get the one he put the table beside you.

“Here, wear this.” your eyes dropped at the p.e pants that he was handing you.

“Is this yours?” you asked him.

“Yeah. It’s clean so don’t worry.” he said with a smirk.

You furrowed your brows, “I d-didn’t said anything!” you defended and he just chuckled before trying to put it on.

“Wear it so it won’t be hard to move around.” he explains and you can’t help but to feel more worried.

You lift your gaze from the pants to his eyes that were already darted at you. “You think help won’t come soon?” your tone sounded hopeless, like you’ve already read what’s inside Ni-ki's mind.

He pursed his lips and tried to smile, “I’m sure help will come. Just wear that so you won’t be uncomfy.” he said and you’re left with no choice but to do as he say.

Your attention then darted over to the infected students outside the room when they started running towards somewhere. Some of your curious boy classmates walked towards the door and windows to get a clearer view.

“Where are they going?” you muttered curiously as your feet moved before your brain could even process it. After three steps, you were stopped by a hand holding your arm.

It was Ni-ki. “Don’t go near the door and windows.” he said with a creased forehead.

You pouted then nodded. He asked you to sit down and he went towards the door where some of his friends are. It seems like they’re checking what’s going on as well.

“They’re running off the hallway!” one announced.

It made you stand up having a little hope that you’ll be safer without any of them near your classroom. But then some of your classmates started to argue once again due to disagreement. One was asking Jungwon to take action while one defended him that its too dangerous and him being the president is not an enough reason for him to risk his life.

You silently agreed with (jw’s y/n). Ni-ki sighed and clicked his tongue at the side of his cheeks while watching the scene from beside you.

“Look at her running her mouth once again.” he commented before putting his hand inside his pocket.

You looked at him and swat him over his chest. “She's just scared.”

Yes, you don’t agree at what she’s saying and how she’s acting right now, but you also understand that she’s just scared. You can see how anxious, worried and scared she is. She’s covering all that up by this brat girl facade of her.

“Aren’t we all?” he fired back at you and then he lets out another sigh before glancing back at the commotion. “Just admit it. She’s just spoiled rotten.” he added.

You stood closer to him and even covered his sight from the scene. Now his bored looking eyes darted at you and suddenly they seemed more attentive.

“Stop it. She’s just scared, Ni-ki.”

It seemed like you’ve almost convinced him that you were right until he blinked and glanced away. He scoffed, “I-I’m just being honest. I don’t even know why hyung liked her.” he mumbled, now a little lower to avoid being scolded by you.

You rolled your eyes at him and looked back at them. Now, Sunghoon’s holding off one of your classmate from advancing towards (sh’s y/n). She said something offensive towards him that quickly pissed him off. Everyone’s a mess right now. A lot is going on and that’s why probably most of you are sensitive at the moments. Arguing should be the least you guys should be doing.

While they’re busy arguing, the door was left unattended that result from someone freely entering your classroom. It was your p.e teacher. At first, the sight of him gave you relief that finally there’s an adult that can help and supervise, but you started getting this uneasy feeling about him.

He broke the silence and avoided the questions of your classmates by telling everyone to help him make barricades over the doors of the room. Most of them followed him right away while you stood there, staring at him with suspicious eyes.

You tried to shrug it off and convince yourself that you’re probably just overthinking things due to all these chaos around you. So you forced yourself to move and help. Before you can even lift one of the chairs, a hand stopped you from doing so.

“Why?” you asked Ni-ki whose busy looking at the teacher.

He glanced at you then smiled a little, tho you noticed how he’s hiding something. ‘Does he find the teacher suspicious too?’

He grabbed the chair, “Go stand beside (sn's y/n). We’ll take care of this.” he said and didn’t even wait for what you’re going to say.

You were left with no choice but to stand close to (sn's y/n) while watching your p.e teacher.

“H-Hey.” she called you softly. You turned your head even tho you’re still bothered and gave her your attention. Its not always she makes a first move to interact with someone, you have to assure her that she’s doing well.

“Are you okay?” she asked. She maybe noticed how you seemed so bothered over your teacher.

You answered a short ‘Yeah.’ because you’re contemplating whether to tell her about your thoughts or nah. You don’t want her to panic or to be scared, but at the end you wanted her to know. After-all, you have a feeling that she will be close to you from now on.

“Don’t you think he’s a little suspicious?” and even glanced back at your teacher.

“I d-don’t know. Aren't you happy that we finally have an adult with us?” seh continuously stated.

You pursed your lips and realized she’s right. Maybe you’re really just overthinking or maybe she’s just too naive and nice to notice? You sighed and tried to smile a little just for her to feel better.

“You’re right.”

But right after those words left your lips, you heard one of your classmates screamed.

“Sir, your arm!” she shouted that made you snap your head to the direction of your teacher, your eyes quickly scanned his arms.

Your heart fell at the sight of a fresh wound. It was obvious that it came from a bite. Everyone panicked as they all started screaming towards your teacher. They all pressured him to leave the room. He’s obviously still at the right state of his mind unlike the other bitten people around you, but you know its just a matter of time before he turned like them.

You stepped closer towards (sn’s y/n) holding her by her arm while still watching your teacher. Ni-ki slowly walks his way closer to where you are. He cursed while staring at your p.e teacher. He knew something was off with him the moment he set foot here in the classroom.

His eyes quickly looked at the two doors that will serve your only escape the moment he went crazy. The door to the left was completely blocked by chairs already. Thankfully, the other one have only a few stacks of chairs over it. He’s sure the boys can easily knock over it in case you guys need to leave this place.

His eyes looked at you, making sure you’re beyond his reach if ever it started to become chaotic. His heart was racing crazy because of fear and worry.

“You should leave, sir.” (jw's y/n) insisted and you can’t help but to admire her bravery. Jungwon was quick to stand beside her, making sure she’s near him.

“What did you say?” he looked offended at what she just said. That didn’t stopped her from backing down, instead she took a nother step towards him.

“I said you should leave this room, Sir!” she shouted. Jungwon grabbed her and placed her behind him right away as the teacher started to shout curses towards her in anger.

“How dare you talk to your teacher like that?!” he asked aggressively as he approached closer, but stopped when his nose started bleed.

Your mouth gapped at the sight of it. He blinked, completely flushed at what's currently happening to him. You can feel your heart beating so fast in fear. It was too late before you can process what you’re about to do.

You let go from holding (sn’s y/n)’s arms and stepped closer to your teacher hitting him at the back of his head. Ni-ki was still surprised at the terrifying scene of your teacher’s nose bleeding out that he failed to stop you from doing that.

Once he saw you hitting him, he quickly grabbed and put you behind him not minding that he will put himself in danger in exchange of you.

“You bitch!” your teacher screamed in anger but even before he can step closer he collapsed over the floor.

Everybody fell silent. None of your were able to say anything. Moments later, he started moving in a very odd way. It was the same movements those students make whenever they’re bitten by the infected ones.

“Quick, open the door!” Jungwon shouted and the boys took action right away while the girls screamed and cries.

One even pushed you out of fear causing you to fall over the floor. Even before you knew it, a pair of strong arms helped you to get back on your feet, cupping your face to look at him instead of the chaotic scene.

“Hey, snap out of it. I need you to be aware of your surroundings.” he said calmly despite the worry and fear over his eyes.

You blinked, tears starting to form at the corner of your eyes. “I m-made him like that...”

He pursed his lips and quickly shakes his head side to side, “No, baby. You didn’t.” he said using his softest tone. He sighed and leaned closer, making sure you two are eye to eye.

“Please stay alert for me, okay? I’ll be just here to protect you.” he mumbled that slowly calmed you down.

“Ni-ki!” both of your heads snapped over to the side when you heard his friend calls for him to help.

You grabbed over (sn’s y/n) and run outside the room while the boys tries to hold your teacher back. (jw's y/n), her friend and (sh’s y/n) were the one in front together with Heeseung and Jay.

A group of biters suddenly appeared in front and the girls ahead of you fell out of surprise causing a domino effect together with you. You grunted in pain.

Ni-ki looked over his shoulder when he heard the screams and cursed when he saw you down on the floor. He kicked your teacher hard back inside the room and closed it before jogging his way at your direction.

“You good?” he asked worried. You nodded and silently scanned him as well.

“Yes, you?”

He licked his lower lip, “I'm good. Don’t worry about me.”

You didn’t answer that because you know you’ll always worry for him. Your head snapped over to the side when you heard Sunoo calling your name.

“Y/n, please stick with (sn’s y/n).” he asked and you nodded your head holding her arm.

You were asked to go at the next floor towards the science lab. It was a total chaos on the way since you were surrounded by infected students. The boys even split up having some up front while some stayed behind, making sure none will attack from behind. Ni-ki’s one of them.

You’ll be honest, you wanted to ask him to just stay behind you but you know he’ll refuse to do that. And besides, he will surely be a big help since he’s very athletic and strong. Him and Jungwon were the ones at the end.

The only help you can do is to not be weakling and do things as told as possible. So when the boys asked the girls to stay between them and help push the biters off, you focused and tried so hard to help. You’re too confident that Ni-ki were there in your circle since you saw Jungwon joining a while ago. The two of them were together by the stairs.

The science lab was locked and you almost lose hope, but thankfully one of you find a solution and cracked it open just in time before those infected happen to attack you.

Once inside, all of you checked and made sure you can be safe in that place in the mean time. While everyone were busy catching their breaths and calming themselves down, your mind were slowly going blank of thoughts. You can feel your body aching due to countless bumping and falling down everywhere. Your knees were even shaking.

“Give me the phone, I’ll call someone.” your head snaps over to (sh’s y/n) when she approached and laid her hands in front of you.

You stood straightly and started going through your pockets searching for the phone Ni-ki handed you a while ago. Your heart fell and your brows hardly furrowed when you couldn’t find it anywhere.

Suddenly, a faint memory of something hitting your feet a while ago while you fight with the infected flashes back to your mind. You’re not that sure, but you think it was the phone that hit your feet. You were just too busy that time to even care.

Your eyes lift towards (sh’s y/n) whose now looking at you dangerously. It seems like she already have a clue of what happened, but still waits for you to tell her yourself.

“I l-lost it. I must have dropped it—” she didn’t even let you finish your sentence as she quickly attacked you with her wrath.

“You lost it?! How could you!” she shouted right at you and you couldn’t do anything, but to lower your head feeling really sorry.

You felt someone stood in front of you and you are sure it was Sunoo. Sunghoon went close to (sh’s y/n) as well to try and hold her back from coming at you.

You stayed silent despite of her talking bad about you. She has the right to. You are stupid and careless for losing the only thing you can use to get some help. Ni-ki entrusted that phone to you— Ni-ki...

Your head quickly scanned the whole room and your heart fell when you couldn’t see any sign of him.

“W-Wait, where is Ni-ki?!” you shouted, the question directed to no one. You didn’t care if your voice sounded too loud or if it startled anyone, you are starting to lose your sane.

Your heart ached and tears started to form your eyes at the thought of losing him. With heavy steps you approached Jungwon, Sunoo following you behind holding you by your arm to support you.

“Where is he, Jungwon? You two were together, right? He was with you.” your eyes looked at him with hopes of hearing something good from him.

You saw something flashes through his eyes that you quickly dismissed as you watch him approach closer.

“He asked me to go first and promised that he will follow.” he answered that made your shoulder fell.

Tears streamed down your eyes as you felt your knees losing its strength. Sunoo and Jungwon attended to you right away, holding you. Sunoo asked Jungwon to rest and he assured that he will take care of you. He hesitated to leave you, but obliged as he realized you need space and time to process everything.

Everyone fell silent and you continued crying. You couldn’t think of anything else but Ni-ki. You tried hard to convince yourself that he is alright, that he’s somewhere safe, but you couldn’t help but worry for him. You don’t know what to feel at the moment. You knew you couldn’t lose him. Not him, you love him so much.

part two › here

main master-list

apocalypse master-list

#enhypen #enhypenwriters #eeunoiaverse #eeunoiawrites #eeunoia #enhypen imagines #enhypen fic #enhypen x you #enhypen x reader #enhypen nishimura riki #enhypen niki x reader #enhypen niki imagines #enhypen yang jungwon #enhypen lee heeseung #enhypen jay park #enhypen jake sim #enhypen park sunghoon #enhypen kim sunoo

205 notes · View notes

enrosadiraanisaaa · 5 months

Text

Within Session .Part Six.

Holy shit, happy December and Merry Christmas y'all! I'm so happy to finally post another chapter of Within Session. Yes, its been a while but starting a new job is stressful. Thankfully, I figured how to manage time. This part is extremely long, more than 5k. words. I'm proud of myself! This fanfic consists of Yandere!Leon Kennedy. I intend for this fic to progressively become disturbing and fucked up with each chapter. While the first few chapters will be tamed, expect the following in this series:

~Stalking, Kidnapping, Forced Breeding, Degradation, NonCon, Gang Banging, Forced Pregnancy, Somnophilia, Blackmail, Manipulation, Abuse, Pet Names, Obsessive Behavior (Duh), Torture, Constraints, Mentions of Blood & Gore, Mental Degradation, Toxic Relationship, Sexual Abuse, Masturbation, Drugged & Drunk Sex, Loss of Virginity, Forced Penetration…

Also you will be retconned (Too bad 😏): Female Reader, 24 Years old and from Texas 💝 (yeehaw)

This story was purely written with RE 4 (Remake) Leon in mind. So no puppy dog Leon from RE2 or DILF Leon from later games & movies. The story takes place several months after the events of RE4. Yay, you’re in 2004!

I plan to make this series long and fleshed out, but I promise what you want will hit you like a train~🚂

This story does contain +18 content (NSFW) 🔞 If you’re a minor, please go read a real book or something, don’t cry to me when your mom finds your shit.

Summary

As an on sight therapist for STRATCOM in Nebraska, you’re tasked with providing quality therapy for US military personnel and government agents. After working at the headquarters for 6 months, Hunnigan recommends you to a notable government agent, Leon Kennedy, who is in need of therapy. After a number of sessions with you, Leon notices a substantial stability in his sanity yet is threatened when you are offered a position back home, closer to your family and friends. Your choice doesn’t sit well with one particular client, who can’t fathom you out of your role as his therapist. Leon has found a means of keeping his precious therapist and realizes you are the key to his permanent solace. You were obviously destined to be his in some form. Why dream of him letting you go?

A\N: I was heavily inspired by Satoshi Kon’s Perfect Blue 💙, ExploreVenus’s Something Permanent and Guardian Angel by NexysWorld. We're finally getting into the nitty gritty of the story. Reminder that if you're not comfortable with male obsession and stalking, this is not for you. But if you're fucked up like me, please enjoy this! This is a really long chapter, hope y'all like it. 😉 Please comment on what how you feel about this chapter, I'm a whore for feedback. Hate it? Comment. Love it? Comment, por favor.

This is the longest chapter with 5k words, pretty much twice than I typically write for a chapter. Keep this in mind if you are wondering why, it seems longer.

Hope y'all enjoy the sixth part! More to come 💝~ Anisssa أنيسة

Here is Part One , Part Two, Part Three, Part Four and Part Five of Within Session

Blue Monday

For several months, the disdain for the winter season was prominent as the days were still short of daylight. Along with the absence of familiar faces from family and friends from home, winter blues roused thoughts of returning to home. Even with the presence of Mateo and his buddies around at the house, it never satiated your homesickness. The transition into this New Year was strenuous, yet you continued the routine of attending to clients at the USSSTRATCOM headquarters during the week, the occasional LAN parties hosted on weekends with the dudes, and friend dates with Hunnigan. Still, you could not deny there were urges to pull out your suitcase and call quits on the government position. Home was not here in Nebraska.

Now in the middle of February, the extensive drive home seemed to kindle symptoms of burnout. Upon opening the entrance door to your apartment, the dead silence prompted your eyes to glance around the living room for the presence of your roommate, Mateo. For once you arrived home before him. With every step further into your living room, the floor boards seemed to creak under pressure. Your body immediately gravitates towards the couch, slumping on the cushions to sprawl out in exhaustion. In one hand, you gripped your purse while the other held a bouquet of flowers.

Until the last session earlier today, it did not dawn on you that today was Valentine's Day. Leon, of all people, arrived at session with a bouquet of roses in his possession with his usual smuggish smirk. The gesture caught you off guard that you simply accepted the bouquet without protest. This questionable offering from him was unpredicted, a moment of vulnerability impelling you to accidentally violate a simple policy between client and therapist.

A groan emits from your mouth, decisively kicking off the heels to note how sore your feet were. No doubt the roses in your hand were beautiful, but they were from a client on this particular holiday. You grunt in disapproval, instead eliciting to assume he gifted the roses for his appreciation for your dedication to him as his therapist. Yes, those thoughts brought peace of mind. But you then realized the price tag sticker on the bottom of the bouquet.

“Holy fuck! Who spends $80 on a bouquet of roses? Well shit, now I’ll feel guilty if I toss them out… Dammit, Leon…”

Leon Kennedy, a client you have been providing treatment with for the last three months since November. Along with his substantial progress in his intervention goals, you had the opportunity to further learn about the peculiar character that is Leon. Every session he never failed to crack jokes on whim or comment snide remarks, his attempt to speak off topic. Beside his efforts to conceal his discomfort with humor, there was also an underlying suspicion that Leon was withholding details regarding certain discussions. He avoids topics through escape by immediately steering the conversation. Every instance that Leon avoids a subject, you take note of it, knowing somehow you would eventually touch base on it.

With the bouquet of roses in your hand, you notice several detached rose petals on the couch cushion. A pang of guilt coursed in your chest, registering the maltreatment of the flowers in your grasp. Despite the aching pain in your feet, you stand from the couch to walk to the kitchen in search of a vase. You were no flower arranger but the glass vase you found complimented the red of the petals. Next session you would have to bestow some gratitude to Leon, since the guy deserves some appreciation for the gift. Maybe the man really was trying to express his reverence, Valentine’s Day was not all about romance, right?

In the moment of admiring the roses you placed in the glass vase, you realize that it has been a while since you have received something like this from anyone. While you let out a gentle huff, your hands reach out to rearrange several roses until you were appeased with the arrangement. Then the abrupt ringing of your phone from your pocket interrupted your trance from the vase of roses, a phone number unbeknownst to you displayed on the small screen of the flip phone.

‘It’s an area code from Texas… is it from San Antonio, Dallas, or Austin? But who calls late on a Monday night?’ You decipher, debating the thought to answer the call knowing the area code was from one of the major metroplex cities.

This time you sigh, adjusting your throat to answer in a pleasant tone. “Uh, hello?” You greet hesitantly, holding the pink flip phone to your ear.

A gentle feminine voice responds with “Hello…” along with your full name.

The utterance of your first and last name from the unknown voice nearly startles you to the core, immediately furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

“This is her… Uh, who are you?” You ask, slight concern obvious in your question. Was this call a scam?

On the other end of the line, the female voice chuckles lightly into the phone,”Sorry to call this late, I am from a counseling program partnered with a foster care facility based here in Austin. We are looking for new recruits with the right credentials. I came across your application from a year ago and I am curious if you would still be interested in doing an interview and perhaps be interested in joining our team? From your application, I can see your address is in Corpus Christi.”

At that moment you seat yourself on a chair in the dining room, glancing at the adorned vase of roses on the dining room table. This was an unmistakable opportunity that manifested itself in one phone call, but you could not allow yourself to become excited so soon.

“Unfortunately, I am not living in Texas at the moment. I actually took a therapist position here in Omaha, Nebraska. I won’t be able to schedule an interview, I apologize,” You express in a solemn tone, assuming this would end the conversation.

“Oh, if you don’t mind…. We can do an interview right now over the phone.” The lady mentions, followed by silence on her end.

You direct your eyes at a digital clock in the distance, noticing the time was a little past 9PM, which meant no minutes were being wasted.

“Sure, why not…” You respond, guessing this opportunity was unprecedented to simply dismiss.

For the next 30 minutes, you were asked a series of questions, mostly about your experience and qualities. In your efforts, you answer professionally while you slug against the dinning chair in exhaustion. Your hand became cramped as you gripped the flip phone to your ear. Every time you glimpse back to the vase of roses, you notice several petals shed from the roses. With one rose petal, you twindle it between your fingers as you speak to the woman over the phone.

“I’m impressed with you, I really think you would be a great addition to our team. I’d like to offer a full time position, with a Monday through Friday schedule. Instead of hourly, you will be paid a salary with benefits. If you need help with moving, we can pay your first few months of rent wherever you decide to move in Austin. How does that sound?” The lady expresses, seemingly to be entirely impressed with you.

For a moment, you were hesitant as the offer seemed too good to be true. “When can I start?” You then ask, feeling the sweat in your palm as you grip the phone to your ear.

“Since you said you’re out living in Nebraska, I can give you a month… March 14th on a Monday, and we will run a background check and proof that you can work in the US. Nothing major, it’s usually quick. For any certifications you need, we will pay for them…” The woman explains, her voice cheery with every word.

By the end of her explanation, your body involuntarily begins to shake. Several thoughts coursed in your mind yet the most prominent thought was obvious… you were finally returning home.

“I look forward to starting,” You respond, matching her voice of enthusiasm.

“That is great to hear… Well, I will let you enjoy the rest of your night. Please call this number again if you have any questions or updates,” She infers.

“Thank you, have a great night!” You add before clamping the flip phone shut, ending the call.

In that moment, your body slumps in the chair while a long exhale of breath escapes your mouth. Every part of your body was jittery to the point it was difficult to contain despite the laborious deep breaths exercises and your hands crossing to squeeze your upper arms. No doubt, the ticket home seemed to magically appear on your lap. Maybe the universe had finally answered your prayer, and within a month you would travel back home.

Tears formed, your eyes evidently becoming glossy while you were seated slumped on the dining room chair. With tears flowing down your face, a part of you felt ridiculous for becoming this emotional.

The front door knob jiggle, the sound of keys from the other side of the door interrupting your mini crying session. Once the door opens, you whip your body to direct your attention to Mateo standing there in the entrance. The evidence of crying was still conspicuous as your cheeks were entirely wet and your eyes were puffy.

“Ah shit, did I come home at a bad time?” Mateo mutters, cautiously setting his black bag on the floor by the entrance after he shuts and locks the front door.

“No, you little jackass. I just got a job offer back home… I start in a month,” You respond in a sincere tone, cracking a subtle smile to Mateo.

Mateo appeared taken back, now walking into a plethora of confounding information. With a few steps into the dinning room, he sits beside you at the dining table. He notices the vase of roses placed on the center of the table yet does not comment on them for now.

“Are you moving because of me?” Mateo questions, a pout forming on his face. He was honestly a child at times.

“Huh? No, absolutely not because of you… I just think I have overstayed here in Nebraska, and need to return home so I can be near family,” You explain, your tone heartfelt as you glance at Mateo with a grin.

Mateo deeply exhales, his brown eyes narrowing at the sight of you, “I guess I'll allow you to leave… on the condition you visit,” He expresses smugly.

A soft chuckle emits from your mouth, nodding in agreement to his prerequisite,” Deal…But I plan on moving out in three weeks. Tomorrow, I am putting in my two weeks resignation letter. Some of my clients are not going to be happy.”

To your verdict, Mateo expresses a solemn smile before his hand points to the roses you arranged in the vase earlier,” So… who bought you these?” He asks with an eyebrow raised.

“I’ll let you guess, but the answer is obvious,” You respond bluntly.

“Leon?” He answers immediately with his lips curved in a grin.

“Mhmm..” You hum, scratching the side of your hair with a finger. “He arrived at session with them, and pretty much shoved them in my arms. Never been so caught off guard,” You then comment.

With a sudden snap of your fingers, you jolt up to stand before scurrying across the room to your bag, “Oh shit, I almost forgot, he also gave me a card. I haven’t opened it yet.” Within a moment, your hand digs inside your beg to then reveal a red envelope once you pull it out. By holding the red envelope in hand, you return to seat yourself at the dining room table beside Mateo, ripping the side of the envelope with your hand. A blank expression instantly appears on your face once you slide out the Valentine’s card. By opening it, you notice a gift card and Leon’s writing inside the card, “Mateo… He gave me a gift card to Chili's… Dude, look what this says…’To the spiciest therapist I know’... What the fuck does that mean?!” You glance at Mateo, biting your lip from amusement and disturbance simultaneously.

Mateo only burst out laughing, snatching the card from your hand to read Leon’s writing closely, “Damn girl, what you be doing to him during your sessions, huh?” Mateo questions you in an accusatory tone with a hint of humor behind it.

“Absolutely nothing… Goodnight!” You huff, snatching the card from his grasp back into your possession before stomping off to your bedroom.

By next morning, you were able to have written a two weeks notice letter explaining your resignation with a clear date that you would be concluding your tenure with USSTRATCOM as a therapist officially on Tuesday, March 1st. The following days were heart-wrenching, revealing to clients that you would be concluding your position as their therapist and only a few sessions with them remained. Several clients congratulated your new position while others simply were in denial of your departure, or expressed their grief to you.

Friday eventually arrived with the anticipation of preparing the last client with the news of your resignation. Instead of being seated at your desk, you waited patiently for the arrival of Leon on one of the two chairs that you would usually sit during the session. Every minute that passed, you contemplated on how to deliver that in a few weeks, you would no longer be his therapist. Last Monday, he gifted flowers and a gift card to you, clearly there was a modicum of admiration from him. Would he congratulate the advancement in your career or distress over your inevitable departure like other clients? You could not rationalize with yourself on why you were nervous to tell him.

Right at 5PM, you heard the knock on the door of your office. Leon was always on time for his sessions when he was not sent away on missions. For his division, you still did not know the kind of work he did but only that he was revered as a top dog in his position.

Upon hearing his steps, your eyes instantly gravitate to his ocean eyes piercing back at you as he treads further inside the office. Leon seats himself on the chair across from you, an obvious grin plastered on his face. No words were exchanged, but your thoughts spiraled,’Shit, should I tell him now?’ Your thoughts debated but you shook your head on the notion.

“Leon, how has it been these past few days?” You then ask, mustering a soft smile on your lips.

“Great, since I knew I’ll be seeing you today,”Leon smooths, leaning comfortably back into his chair.

Your lips falter, steering to not encourage this behavior from your client. “Leon, how many times have I repeated to you to respect the boundaries between us?” You remind him, followed by a soft sigh. This was his mindless flirting that recently sprung up in sessions.

“Too many times, miss. I apologize,” Leon chuckles, averting his eyes to the side at the floor. Ultimately, those icy eyes return their gaze to you even though his face was directed away. “So Miss, how were those roses I gave you last time?” He questions you, his eyebrow quirks as he awaits your answer.

“They were nice, I was able to place them in a vase. Thank you… But understand that as a therapist, I could lose my license for accepting gifts, okay?” You remark, your tone firm with blank expression.

His tongue clicks along with a small nod, “Oh no, I can’t have that happen. I- We need you here…” Leon mentions, his gaze studying your face.

As you examine the features of his face while he spoke, you realize how exhaustive his features appeared. Before he could utter another word regarding gifts, you interfere,”Hey, how are you sleeping as of late these past few nights?”

In that moment, his grin deflates in an almost surprised expression. Leon adjusted his throat, shifting in the chair.“I’m experiencing nightmares…” Leon admits, blushes blooming on his cheeks.

You expected him to retort with humor or downplay his exhaustion. But Leon was actually opening himself to you about his nightmares. This was an opportunity too good to let pass by. By extending your arm to your desk, your hand grabs a notebook and pen. Every detail that he verbalizes, you need written down.

With your pen awaiting on the lines on the paper, your eyes return to his face, the bleak blue in his eyes not as bright as they usually are. “Describe what you remember from your dreams, Leon.”

“Burning bodies, blood caked on my skin that did not belong to me, and things I can’t even explain…” He shifts in his seat again, his voice feeble.

His narrative could not paint a picture for you, the few details not being enough, but only suggested he endured an incident so horrifying. On paper, your pen scribbled down the only two details he described: burning bodies and blood on skin.

“Leon, can you recall an incident you might have seen or experienced?” You ask, bringing the top of the pen to your lips.

After a moment, his head shook,” No ma’am, I simply have watched Dawn of the Dead too many times,” He chuckled, seemingly forcing a smirk.

If you could roll your eyes at this moment, you would. An internal scream echoed in your head, and you nearly wanted to slap your forehead with the notebook in your hand. When he finally opens up about something regarding his trauma, he fucking does this bullshit… again.

Instead of proceeding in your usual passive tone, you adjust your voice to become stern,”Leon, do you honestly need this service?”

He was clearly offended at the change in tone in your voice, his eyes narrowing at you. An expression you never expected to witness him guise, yet you kept your composure. “Yes, I do,” He merely responded, his voice consisting of no humor.

“Then please help me, help you. These past few months you have progressed, but you would honestly be further in your treatment if you allow yourself to open up. I’m not expecting you to explain everything in one session, but understand if you were a bit more cooperative, I can guide you more efficiently through your trauma. I’m not a therapist that wants you to be in therapy forever…” You breathe out along with a huff.

The words seem to echo into the room as the room falls into silence, Leon just sitting there with no words to exchange. Nonetheless, every word spoken from your lips was valid. But on the back of your mind, time was inching closer for you to reveal the news.

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily, miss. I know I’m your favorite client,” Leon retorts, that same smug expression on his face.

This session was going nowhere, 30 minutes somehow wasted. Time was working against you, so it would be easier to rip the band aid off the wound, right?

“There was never a competition between my clients in the first place. I regard and care for all my clients equally, Leon,” You retort, directly staring at his eyes. “Also…” Your voice proceeds along with an adjustment in your throat. At this point, it can not be helped, he deserved to know. “Uh, to simplify it… in a few weeks I will no longer be working with USSTRATCOM, I’m moving back to Texas. But don’t worry, I already notified the next therapist on your case on your goals and what we worked on.”

The heart in your chest was beating, feeling anxiety ridden, but nonetheless you revealed the big announcement. Then that same tense quiet air settled into the office once more, Leon had a blank stare directed at your face. Those eyes of his blinked several times before he mustered a warm smile. “That’s very sudden news, but congratulations,” He breathed, his fist clenching on his thighs.

While an exhale of air escapes your nose, the ache in your chest seems to ease away. This time, you permit yourself to smile in response to the commendation from Leon. “I really appreciate the congratulations from you… But we will still conduct session the same until I leave. So tell me…what is an incident that may be a considerable source that prompts your nightmares, Leon?”

“Wait-” He utters, tilting his head as his mouth tries to form words. “Can you at least explain why you’re leaving? I know three months is not a long time, but I have made so much progress with you…”

His voice betrays him, nearly breaking yet Leon sustains a smile on his face. Subtle taps on the floor peak your attention, your eyes glancing down to notice his foot tapping on the floor.

“Sure, I can explain… Um, I have close family in Texas, and my next job allows me to be closer to them,” You answer simply, keeping your voice calm.

You see Leon nod in his head in acceptance as he glances down to his hands resting on his lap. “I see… just… you don’t seem like a Texas gal..” He chuckles, bringing his gaze back to you.

A laugh emits from your mouth, not expecting Leon to return to his whits suddenly. “If you expected me to wear a big cowboy hat and speak with a twang, I might just punch you,” You suggest with an empty threat, raising a fist in his direction while your other hand holds the notebook to your lap.

Leon lets out a fake gasp while appearing offended. “Hmm, sounds like someone is in need of anger management.”

“Oh, you think you’re funny, huh?” You retort, pursing your lips at his remark.

“I think? Oh, honey, I am funny…”

‘Honey?’ This little endearing nickname riled your core, perceiving it as condescending, nonetheless you opt to let this slide. With a small sigh, your eyes peer to the clock on the wall, silently thanking the universe that only 5 minutes of the session remained.

“Alright comedian…” You speak, leaning over the armrest of the chair to grab the clipboard from your desk, “It’s that time you give your signature, and that will be all for today’s session.”

Leon chuckled once you extended the clipboard to him before he wrote his grand signature: ‘Leon Kennedy’ on the signature line. He extended it back to you, except his expression appeared solemn.

“So you really are leaving Nebraska? Quitting USSTRATCOM to move back to Texas?” He inquires, no hint of humor in his voice.

Your head nods, only responding with a hum in agreement.

“Well I’m happy for you… I will see you next week,” He expresses, giving a brief smile before he leaves the office.

“Bye Leon!” You call out, proceeding to shut and lock the office door after he leaves.

An exasperated groan iterates into the empty room, letting out that strenuous hold of breath out your chest. While the complicated part of informing all the clients was settled, now the actual moving process was the next course of action. At that moment, you reluctantly retreat to your desk, knowing that the legal documents, session notes, and insurance signature sheets need to be submitted to your supervisor before you can leave for home. It was Friday, all you wanted to do was drink to your heart's content, play video games, and pass out on the couch. Typical Friday night shit.

In time, all necessary documents were submitted to your supervisor. The familiar brunt whirl of flurries stung the skin of your cheeks once you step outside the building, being welcomed into the dark parking lot. Every step along the parking lot was careful while you walked towards your car, seeing the red among the white.

Even inside the car, your body shivered, desperate to warm up. The inconvenience of the winter night sky entirely made it difficult to see in your car, but you were able to insert the car key into the ignition. With anticipation for warm air, your wrist turns the key forward.

Kkkkkkk.

The sound of the car struggling to start only furrowed your eyebrows in response.

Naturally, you turn the key one more time. Two times. Three times. With a disgruntled groan, you continue to turn the key, your foot persistently pressing the gas pedal.

“No no no no. Baby don’t do this to me now!”

With every desperate turn of the key, the car only responded with jerks before dying completely. Hot visible breaths huffed from your mouth, that bitter cold was already piercing through the fabric of your clothes. Your hand pulls out the key from the ignition and your foot ceases from stepping on the gas pedal. That sense of anxiety crept into your chest once more at the awareness you were oblivious to the malfunction in your car.

Your hand decides to reach down to pull down a small lever, hearing the familiar pop of the hood. While hesitant, you then retrieve your flashlight from the middle console before returning to the brunt winter weather as you exit the driver’s seat. Once the hood is propped up on the stand, you click the flashlight to instantly illuminate the engine under the hood. The problem was then apparent, the light revealing ripped spark plunges that were supposed to be connected to the engine.

“Oh, what the fuck…” The words seem to let out, unsure how this happened to your car.

Crunches of ice behind you alleviated you from deep thought, prompting you to immediately whirl your body to the source of sound. Light from the flashlight directs to a broad figure, startling you to where you nearly scream. Your hand points the flashlight up and you recognize the familiar sandy blonde hair.

“Leon?” You mutter into the air, your eyes widening at his sudden appearance. “What are you doing here?” You then ask, pointing the flashlight down from his face out of courtesy.

“I heard a car struggling to start, so I thought I would check it out…” He responds, proceeding to walk to the open hood of your car. Leon glances down to the flashlight in your hand, gesturing you to hand it to him. “Here,” You whisper, extending the flashlight to him. While he holds the flashlight, he directs it down to the engine, “Damn, your spark plugs are damaged,” He remarks, his demeanor confirming your earlier speculation.

“They were recently replaced, this shouldn’t have happened,” You retort, your tone obviously confused.

“Well they look like they've been bitten… Maybe a small animal searching for warmth crawled inside and decided to chew them out,” Leon suggested, returning his attention to you.

Leon’s revelation was plausible but when you return your glance to the spark plugs, the damage appeared like a clean cut as if they were physically cut by something. Regardless of how they were damaged, your current situation ensured that you were stranded in the parking lot of your job. The road conditions were horrible, piled with snow, and you honestly did not know how long a tow truck would get there.

While you contemplate your options, you hear Leon adjust his throat. “If you like, I could drive you home. It’s cold and dark now, there’s not much you can do," he suggests.

Spark plugs were easy to install, but to travel to a nearby auto shop was complicated enough in this weather. Your head immediately shook at his offer, shifting your attention to his face. “Thanks for the offer, Leon, but I have to decline. I’m still your t-“

“Therapist. I know. Miss, it is dark and freezing. A tow truck would take an hour… I can’t leave you out here,” Leon interjects, his tone stern to prove a point. “Come on, let me take you home. It wouldn’t be an issue for me at all,” He continues, proceeding to let down the hood of your car.

Deep down, you knew his proposal would violate ethical codes as a therapist, but his persistence swayed your verdict. Your body was visibly shaking while you stood there, glancing around the parking lot to ensure no one was watching. “Fine, but straight to my house, Leon.” You sternly express, going to quickly retrieve your purse before returning to his side.

You hear chuckles from Leon while you follow him to a black SUV, obviously a government vehicle. “Perks of being an agent,” Leon mentions, his voice laced with humor. It honestly seemed he was enjoying this.

By sitting in the passenger seat, you experience the loving warmth of heat from the vents once Leon turns on the car. A pang of guilt coursed at the realization you were leaving your car behind at the parking lot. “So you drive a Nissan Z? Didn’t think you’re into cars like that, especially with turbo,” Leon strikes a conversation, driving off the premises of the USSTRATCOM parking lot.

“Ah, it was a parting gift from my dad. She is practically a family member…” You say, blushing a bit.

“There’s no shame in that, it’s actually interesting you’re into cars. But I could definitely swing by in the morning and I could personally switch out the spark plugs,” Leon offers, shifting his attention to you in the passenger seat.

“If replacing the spark plugs is no hassle, then I am okay with it…”

Leon grins, ecstatic that you conceded to his assistance instead of blatantly rejecting his offer. For a moment, he remained quiet as he drove on the snowy desolate streets before eventually realizing he did not know your address. “Ah shit, I got ahead of myself. Tell me where to drive from here to get to your home,” Leon nervously chuckles.

In response, you nod with an assuring smile, ”That’s fine…”

Other than Leon’s rock music playing on the stereo, the car ride became quiet as the exchange of words died down. The moments you only spoke were when you provided directions to your house. Soon the sight of the familiar Victorian house was in view, although you notice a line of cars parked in the driveway and street, along with an absurd amount of people hanging around the house. Once Leon gradually slowed infront of the house, he turned his head to you sitting in the passenger seat.

“This is your house?” He asks, turning down the volume of his rock music.

A sheepish smile appeared on your lips, nodding to Leon,”Yeah, I guess my roommate decided to throw a party.”

Leon returns his attention to the amount of men chilling on the front porch, drinking beers or smoking cigarettes despite the freezing air. You see Leon narrow his eyes at the scene yet smirks when he glances back to you. “Looks fun… but I will see you in the morning, right? Is 9AM alright?”

Your head nods frantically, presenting a pleased smile on your lips,”Uhh, yeah. It sounds good,” You reply, somehow almost forgetting about your car stranded at the parking lot of your job. At that moment, you open the passenger car door before slipping onto the pavement of the road. “See you tomorrow, Leon! And thank you for taking me home…”

Leon seemed content, before waving off to you, "I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good night,” He responds. Once you shut the passenger door, he drives off, leaving you to watch him as you stand there in the middle of the road. A nagging intuition provoked an uneasiness into your body regarding this night. Nonetheless, you decided to ignore your paranoia since there is a party that required your attendance because even God knew you deserved it after this whole week.

#leon kennedy #re4 leon #resident evil #leon kennedy x reader #resident evil 4 remake #leon x fem reader #yandere!leon x reader #yandere!leon kennedy #female reader #within session

59 notes · View notes

lamentationsofalonelypotato · 2 months

Text

You Call It Madness But I Call It Love

Chapter 6: Batter Up

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy. This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter six of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 3.1K

Warnings: References to Sex, Sexual Innuendo, Cursing (a few times), Drinking, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC,

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

****************************

Philadelphia 1935

"Only you would bring a sketchpad to a baseball game." Ben shouts over the screaming fans in Shibe Park Stadium. The sun catches his hair turning it into a honeyed brown that drips down into his gorgeous green eyes that shine with charm.

"I want to capture the devastation on your face when the Phillies lose." You snark back, tracing the curve of his mouth as it pulls down in a frown with the tip of your pencil on your sketchpad, and wishing that you could do the same with your fingertip. It was not the first time that you'd drawn him and by now you didn't need to look up at him to capture the angular structure of his face, but you couldn't help it.

"Funny." Ben taps the ridiculous white and red pinstriped baseball cap on your head that he bought you before the game.

It was a few days after your party, one day before Ben had to go to boarding school number seven, and Ben, being the person he was, decided to drown his sorrows in cheap beer and the electric atmosphere of a baseball game. Before his mother died Ben's father had taken him to a single baseball game, but Ben never forgot. He didn't have to tell you for you to know that it was one of the only happy memories from his childhood, despite his father getting so drunk that he forgot Ben was with him. You figured that Ben liked going because it reminded him of one day that his father didn’t tell him what a disappointment he was. Your heart ached at the thought. Ben didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve the constant disapproval of his father. Yes he got kicked out of numerous boarding schools, he swore like a sailor, ran after whatever caught his eye, and he drank so much alcohol you wondered how he wasn't flammable. But Ben deserved more. And you wished that he would let you give it to him all the time, not just on the days you were out together or the times he snuck into your room.

Your thoughts drift back to the numerous boarding schools. Although you wanted to defend him, you couldn't come up with an excuse for that, especially since Ben didn’t just flunk out, he made an effort to get kicked out. Ben had a different story that resulted in his expulsion for each that never ceased to amuse you. Boarding school number one was vacated when Ben was only thirteen years old because he glued the history instructor to his chair. Boarding school number two was evacuated due to an “accidental fire” in the science lab, which Ben insisted he didn’t start. And then complained that he didn’t think that his lab partner's coat would catch fire quite that fast. Boarding schools three and four were within months of each other and both due to the fact that Ben got caught with a girl in the dorm. Something you wished he hadn’t told you. Boarding school number five you were the most proud of. Only because Ben used some of the minimal art skills you showed him to draw a naughty doodle of the English teacher on the chalkboard before class. Ben replicated the doodle in one of the sketchpads that you hid under you bed just in case someone were to find it. Finally, Ben left boarding school number six because he drove the dean's car into the swimming pool. When you asked him why, he said that he thought it "needed a wash."

"So is it everything you ever dreamed of?" Ben asks with a smirk.

"What?" You look up from the sketchpad at him in confusion.

"Your first baseball game." He emphasizes the word suggestively.

"It's certainly loud-" You begin to say, leaning towards him so he can hear you over the roar of the crowd.

"Yes, well lots of screaming is expected your first time." Ben wiggles his eyebrows. "Though I'd say that there should be screaming all the time-"

"Ben."

"But I told you that I'd be gentle-" He taunts.

"BEN."

"What? I like that I'm your first." His smirk widens and your cheeks flare bright red, prompting you to punch him in the shoulder.

"Shut up." Your mind can't help, but drift back to the other day when he trailed his fingers down the back of your corset and loosened the ties, which makes you flush a brighter red as a shiver goes down your spine.

The boos around Ben and you get louder as the bottom of the eighth inning begins and as one of the New York Giants' infielders steps up to the plate. Despite Ben's teasing it was your first official baseball game. He was outraged when you told him that you'd never been to one a few days before your birthday and he believed that it was his responsibility to take you to one before he went back to boarding school.

And as much as you pretended to hate it, you were having a lot of fun.

The roar of the crowd is electric and surges up over the trumpet blasts that fill the loud speakers, broken up by the sound of the vendors selling cracker jacks and other food items where they wander up and down the concrete steps of the stadium. The smell of beer, hotdogs, sweat, and peanuts swells over the crowd, while the golden glow of the noon day sun flashes against the metal overhang that shields the crowds from its rays.

"Are you hungry?" Ben asks, nudging your shoulder to grab your attention again.

"A little."

Ben waves down one of the vendors and buys you both hotdogs and a beer to share. And as you sit there and begin to eat, you realize that something about today feels different.

You can't put your finger on it, but him buying you a baseball hat and food kinda feels like a… date. Ben had bought you things before from street vendors as you walked through Philadelphia, ice cream, pretzels, but being here, sitting so close that your shoulders brushed every few minutes was different. You briefly circle back again to the other night when he helped you out of your dress. Neither of you had brought up what happened, but you wanted to. You wanted to know if he did that to help you or if he did that because he wanted to go further.

But at the same time you wondered if it happened because Ben was drunk. When he got drunk Ben tended to be a bit more clingy, well at least around you he was more clingy, but he’d never admit that.

The crack of a baseball against a bat pulls you from your memory of the other night and Ben groans as the ball soars over the wall at the back of the stadium.

“That’s another 5 bucks.” He mutters.

“Told you not to make that bet with Adam.” You sing-song.

“You made a bet too.”

“A winning bet I might add.” You poke his muscular bicep with your pencil.

Adam Winthrop was one of Ben's drinking buddies and someone you had run into at the ticket booth before the game. Ben bet him that by the eighth inning the Phillies would pull ahead, whereas you bet Adam that the Phillies would be down exactly four points. Adam laughed at you, but agreed, while Ben stated that the Phillies were better than the New York Giants and you would lose.

You were eager to make him eat his words. And one look at the scoreboard meant that Ben was suffering through a four course meal.

"I have no idea how you did that. You don't even know what baseball is! How could you know that the Phillies would be down four points in the bottom of the eighth?"

"I've meant to tell you, I'm secretly psychic."

"Oh really?" Ben smirks, eyes darkening as they lock with yours. "What am I thinking right now?"

"That you're happy you didn't bring Missy Callahan." You smirk back at him to stop the butterflies that have erupted in the pit of your stomach.

"I am." He cocks his head to the side in a way that makes his dark hair fall into his eyes.

"Good." You turn back to watch the game so you won't focus too much on how good he looks and to resist the urge to run your fingers through his hair. "And I am getting it a little. My teacher is very good at explaining things."

"I'm good at explaining lots of things doll." You don't need to look at Ben to hear the smirk in his voice.

Damn it. The blush that creeps into your cheeks with his words feels like fire.

"Trollop." You snort, taking the beer from his hand so you can have a sip.

“You should be nicer to me, I got you food.”

“And a ridiculous hat-“

“You look cute.” Ben rolls his eyes and turns away, but his words stick to your chest like fly paper.

He thinks I look cute?

“I don’t think you look too bad yourself.” You respond, turning your eyes back on the field, but watching him in your peripheral vision.

“I know.” He grins.

“Keep being all cocky and I won’t buy you cotton candy with all the cash I’m about to make on this game.”

“What happened to gambling being unladylike?”

“We both know I’m far from a lady, darling.”

“Well the Dawson School for Girls will clear you right up.” Ben sighs, but you can hear the disappointment in his tone.

Oh yes, the wonderful news my mother dropped in my lap, how exciting!

When your mother had come into your room the other night she told you she had a big birthday surprise, which was that she was sending you to the Dawson School for Girls in Boston. You don’t know what prompted her to send you to a boarding school, only that she said it would be good for you.

Which probably meant she was doing it to keep you far away from Ben.

Maybe it won't be so bad. New city, new exciting people-

But no matter how hard you thought about it, you weren't excited and it was because of Ben. Not only would you miss him, you really didn't know what he would do without you. You weren't sure how long that Ben would be at his boarding school in New Jersey, and you didn't know where he would go when he got back.

If I was gone, who would be there for him when he got back? Who would he go to when he didn't want to go home? Would he end up at Missy's?

The thought that he would sleep over at her house makes an ice pick of jealousy stab you in the chest. You still weren't over what happened the other night at your birthday party, but you were getting through the best you could. Being here with Ben was helping you forget how mad you were.

"Y/n?"

"Hmm?" You look up at him.

"Don't focus too much on what they teach you there." Ben says, his eyes are still on the game tracing the pathway of the ball as it soars into right field.

"Why?"

"Because you don't need to change." He glances over at you with a frown as if the thought hurts. "And all those boarding schools are the same, they try to make you like everyone else. Strip you of everything that makes you different.”

"Is that such a bad thing? I've been the odd one out for a while-"

You think about all the other girls that you'd met over the years and of course Missy pops up. She was popular, pretty, and she'd caught Ben's attention. You'd never been that popular, Ben was the only close friend you had. Plus most of the people you interacted with were Ben's friends/drinking buddies who seemed to like you as much as he did. That always made you feel better, that Ben's friends liked you enough to let you come out with them sometimes, even if it was to the bar on the corner and even if it was completely unladylike when you staggered home drunk. It was usually Adam's fault when he bet you that he could drink you under the table and you weren't one to walk away from a challenge. Ben was always there to help you down the street and make sure that you got home okay, laughing when you tried to go into the wrong house or sang off-key. Of course when you arrived home those nights your mother practically locked you in your room, making you feel like Rapunzel, but never dissuaded Ben from coming in through the window.

"For you it is."

"Why?"

"Because you're different."

"I can't tell if that's a compliment or not." Your brow wrinkles and Ben presses a fingertip to the scrunch between your eyebrows under your hat, surprising you.

"I like that you're different." Ben shrugs.

Your cheeks flush bright red with his confession. It's the first time that Ben's ever said anything remotely like that before.

He turns back to the game as if he hasn't said anything.

“I like that you’re different too.” You whisper, barely audible over the crowd.

“Good.” Ben shoots you a sideways grin that makes you warm from head to toe.

“So is that why you don’t stay?" You look back at your sketchpad, shading along the bottom of Ben’s strong jawline, reveling in the familiar scratch of the pencil against the paper.

“Huh?”

“At the boarding schools? Because you don’t want to change?”

Ben frowns for a minute before reaching for the beer between you. “I don’t like being there.”

“Because?”

Ben shrugs. “It’s not home.”

You didn’t understand that. Ben hated being at his own house with his father. Well, hated being anywhere with his father. The only place that he spent enough time sleeping was in your bedroom and you doubted that’s what he meant.

You wait for him to clarify, but he doesn’t. “Well I'm pretty sure I'm going to hate being in Boston because I'm just going to worry about you the whole time." It slipped out before you could stop it.

"You worry about me?" The corner of his lip twitches.

"Of course I do. You're my friend."

"And what do you worry about happening to me?"

"The usual: barroom brawls, alcohol poisoning..." You smile. "That or sleeping with someone's girl and having the guy come after you."

"I hope you know that you're my alibi if anyone tries to catch me."

"After all these years I'd expect it. And everyone believes me, because I'm trustworthy-"

"I'm not so sure about trustworthy, when we first met you lied for me." Ben's fingertips trace against the back of your hand where it is on the armrest between you.

"Yes I did." You swallow the lump in your throat, trying not to focus on how electricity seems to follow his touch, mildly surprised at the boldness of Ben's touch.

You remembered that night. When you ran into your father's study to hide from your mother and Ben was behind the couch hiding from his father. He had looked so cute with a scowl on his face, when he peered at you from over the back of the couch when you came through the door. You remember asking him what he was doing, but he hadn't said anything, just stared back at you. His father had been enough of an answer when he practically crashed through the door of the study, stumbling around the room and slurring his words together as he demanded you tell him where his son was. You had held his gaze and insisted that you hadn't seen Ben, and his father had left cursing under his breath. It was hard not be friends after that.

"Why?" Ben asks.

You pause considering. Ben's face is impassive, but you see a glint of curiosity in his eyes. His fingers are still resting on the back of your hand. “Do you really want me to tell you? Or do you want me to lie?”

“I don’t think you’ve ever lied to me before.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I know your tell.” He replies smugly.

“I don’t have a tell.”

“You do.”

“What is it?”

“It’s no fun if I tell you.” Ben smirks, tapping the brim of your hat. “But why?”

You didn't want to admit it to him, because you thought that he would mock you. The truth was you'd helped him for two reasons, one because he'd looked scared. Ben wasn't afraid of anything and you hadn't seen the look in his eyes since the day you met, but you know that you did not imagine it when you locked eyes in the study. The other reason was because you thought that your problems with your mother and his problems with his father made you two the same or at least connected in some way. You were happy to meet someone that understood you. None of the other people you met understood what it was like to have a parent that never thought you were enough for them. And as you grew up together, Ben was someone that you could depend on no matter what, just as he depended on you. Even if he couldn't admit it to you or to himself.

“It might have also been because I was also in the study hiding from my mother and it kinda felt like we were sharing a secret.” You press your lips together. “I know that sounds stupid.”

“It’s not.” Ben breathes, holding your gaze with a sincerity that makes your heart warm. “I never said thank you.”

"You’re right. And I’ll hold that against you for as long as we live.” You smile up into his handsome face again admiring how the sun reflects off the perfect angles and rests in his green eyes.

“I wouldn’t have expected anything less sweetheart.” He holds your gaze for another few seconds before turning back to watch the final inning, his forearm pressed firmly against yours where your arms rest between you. And instead of moving back you allow yourself to lean into him, so close that your shoulders are touching, continuing to sketch through the final parts of the game and ignoring the urge to look up at him.

It really was a wonderful day, but that's the thing about wonderful days, they always have to end.

**************************

Thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series, let me know :)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303 @deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs

#soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x you #jensen ackles soldier boy #soldier boy #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy x y/n #soldier boy/ben #the boys amazon #the boys fanfic #jensen ackles #soldier boy fanfiction #the boys series #the boys tv #soldier boy fic #the boys season 3

100 notes · View notes