#this thing took me so many days for no reason help jesse

[pumpkster]

#art tag #rottmnt #raph #donatello #leonardo #michelangelo #this thing took me so many days for no reason help jesse #i think mikey isnt my fav exactly but he got another him-centered drawing #i dont know how #i love colouring #raphael

[superlunar-eclipse]

🌑 ੈ✩‧₊˚ ━━━━━ ACROSS THE COUNTRY

SUMMARY ➤ Dean and Sam, concerned about their missing father, approach their estranged elder sister Y/N, an FBI agent, for help. Despite initial resistance due to past grievances and her current job, Y/N eventually agrees to join them in their search, setting the stage for a journey filled with potential challenges and dangers.

WARNINGS ➤ injury’s, injured Y/N, stabbed wound (to the shoulder), small shard of glass on Y/N’s face and the back of their head, and slight arguing.

CHARACTERS ➤ Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Y/N Winchester, mentions of John Winchester, and Adam William (added character)

WORD COUNT ➤ 1,180 words

OTHER ➤ Y/N is a FBI agent, small mention of Y/N being 32 years old, set in season 1, episode 1.

AUTHOR’S NOTE ➤ first fanfic! hopefully dean and sam don’t act too OOC, but lmk if they do!

"Dad hasn't been home in a few days."

Sam took a deep breath before responding, "So, he's working one of his usual overtime shifts on a 'Miller Time'. It's nothing to worry about. He's bound to stumble back in sooner or later."

Dean glanced down at the cold, hard ground, allowing his eyes to linger there for a moment before looking back up at Sam. His voice was full of concern as he said, "Dad’s on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days."

Sam’s expression remained stoic, giving away nothing of the worry that was slowly starting to creep in. Jess, who had been quietly observing the exchange, glanced up at him.

"Jess, excuse us. We have to go outside."

"I mean, come on. You can't just break into my place in the middle of the night, and expect me to hit the road with you," Sam said, his voice echoing in the silence of the night as he followed Dean down the stairs.

"You're not hearing me, Sammy. Dad's missing. I'm not just asking you to hit the road with me. I need you to help me find him." He looked back at Sam, his eyes pleading for understanding.

"I- I don’t understand, why couldn’t you have called Y/N? Isn’t she an FBI agent or something like that?" Sam questioned, his hand reaching out to grab Dean’s shoulder in an attempt to halt his progress.

Dean sighed loudly, a sound that echoed throughout the quiet night. He bounced on the balls of his feet, a nervous habit he had whenever he was troubled. "Well I… kinda don’t know where she is…" he admitted shamefully.

Sam’s eyebrows furrowed, a clear sign of his confusion. "What do you mean you ‘don’t know where she is’?"

Dean pursed his lips and rubbed his hands together, his gaze dropping to the ground. "Well I don’t know her exact location but I know she’s somewhere in Washington DC or something like that!"

Sam scoffed in disbelief and shook his head. "That’s all the way across the country."

"Well did you want this to go quicker?" Dean shot back defensively.

Sam simply rolled his eyes at Dean.

"Look, are you coming with me or not?" Dean asked, his patience clearly running thin.

"I’m not." Sam said, his tone leaving no room for argument.

"Why not?" Dean questioned, his frustration clear.

"I swore I was done hunting. For good."

"Come on. It wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t all bad."

Dean starts heading down the stairs once again, with Sam quickly on his trail.

"You know, in almost three years I've never bothered you, never asked you for a thing," Dean tried to reason, his voice softening.

Sam looks away and sighs, then looks back.

"All right. I'll go. I'll help you find the both of them."

Y/N, a 32 year old FBI agent, sat in the back of the ambulance as the woman cleaned up her many cuts. Her shoulder had been stabbed by the unsub and her head was smashed into a sheet of glass.

"Alright, you're done." The woman finished cleaning her cuts, placing a bandage on her forehead and applying gauze tape to her wound.

Y/N smiled at the woman and hopped off the ambulance truck.

"Y/N!" someone shouted from the distance. She turned to see her great friend Adam, who was the first one to welcome her to the FBI.

She smiled softly as he gave her a comforting hug, "Ow, my shoulder." Her nose scrunched up in pain.

"Sorry," the corners of his mouth turned up as he let go of her.

Other agents of the FBI walked up to her, thanking her for her bravery. "Thank you for saving that girl's life."

"No problem." She gave them a comforting smile.

The agents walked away to discuss matters with other departments.

Y/N and Adam talked about the case for a little while, before Adam turned his attention to something behind her.

"Hey, do you know those people over there?" He asked.

She turned around to look at the people Adam was pointing at. She tilted her head to the side, squinting slightly as she tried to recognize them.

Why did they look so familiar?

Her face paled when she realized who they were.

"Uhm, yea- yeah I do, I’ll be right back," she stuttered, patting his shoulder reassuringly before she walked away.

"What are you guys doing here and how in the hell did you guys find me?" Y/N whispered-yelled at the two boys, her eyes wide with surprise.

"We need your help," Dean replied simply.

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows and put her hands in the back pockets of her jeans, "Oh, so all of a sudden you both need me after what, three years of not talking to me?"

Dean, with a dramatic flair that was all too typical of him, let out an exaggerated sigh. "Listen-" he began, a note of desperation creeping into his voice.

But she cut him off, her frustration palpable. "Dean, please, I really don’t have time for this," she said, waving a hand dismissively.

Sam, practically silent until now, took a step forward. His eyes critically scanned over her face and body, noting the signs of recent distress. "What happened to your shoulder?" he asked, his voice filled with genuine concern.

In response, she lifted a brow and shot him a sarcastic look. "Take a guess, Sam. I’m in the FBI," she said dryly.

He rolled his eyes at her retort. Typical Y/N, he thought, not for the first time.

Dean, who had been silent during their exchange, finally spoke. "Dad’s been missing for a few days, and we… we need you," he stated, his eyes narrowed and serious.

Her reaction was almost immediate. Her jaw tightened, her eyes darkened, her whole demeanor turned defensive. "And why would I want to find him?" she shot back, her voice icy.

He faltered, at a loss for words. He turned away, his gaze landing aimlessly on the nearby crime site.

Now it was Sam’s turn to speak up. He stepped forward, his eyes pleading. "Y/N, please, we really need you right now," he implored, giving her a puppy-dog look. It was a tactic he used to use all the time when he was younger to get what he wanted.

She looked away from him, her lips pursed, her face screwed up in thought. After a long pause, she finally voiced her question. "How- how long is this going to take?"

Dean was the one to answer. "Four days."

She sighed out loud, a wearied sound that echoed in the silence. "You do realize I have a real job, right?" she asked, a note of exasperation in her voice.

Dean rolled his eyes, a retort already forming on his lips. But before he could speak, Y/N interrupted him.

"Fine, I’ll go with you two," she said, her voice resigned.

Dean smiled lightly, relief flooding his features. "Thank you, Y/N."

And so, they walked together to Dean's car, unaware of the challenges and dangers that lay ahead of them.

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x platonic reader #dean winchester x sister!reader #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester x older sister reader #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x you #sam winchester x sister!reader #sam winchester x older sister reader #winchester!reader #Y/N winchester #dean winchester fanfic #sam winchester fanfic

[abbysbunny]

WHY NOT ME

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part two

plot: you have a crush on your best friend but sadly she doesn't reciprocate

warnings: angst/no comfort, boring asf, bad writing, plus not proofread!!

word count: 1.2k

notes:hey fruity people, this took me a couple days because I'm soooo busy(listening to radiohead) if any of you sad little gays want a part two tell me and PLEASE give me plot ideas😛 and the title is a mitski lyric💯

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ellie had been your best friend since you moved to Jackson, you were both just fourteen years old when you met. over time you slowly but surely development a crush on her, I mean, who wouldn't? she's a cocky but funny girl with great hair, of course as you started to develop feelings so did she, but not for you...

her first girlfriend was when she was 17 and her name was cat. hearing ellie talk and talk about her for hours was a real punch in the gut, no matter how many times you heard the same things over and over again it still hurt like hell. when they broke up you couldn't tell if you were happy or sad, I mean yeah she's single now, but now you have no reason why she doesn't like you, before you could tell yourself that she's only in love with her girlfriend, now she doesn't like anyone and you were no exception.

now she was at her second girlfriend, Dina, you adored but couldn't help your jealousy corrupt you. you wanted to like her so bad, you wanted to look at her and Ellie and be happy for them, but you couldn't, you just couldn't. you were supposed to go out with ellie, dina and jessie tonight, there was a dance or a party, you didn't even know and you didn't care, you just didn't want to go.

it was 7pm and you were supposed to leave at 7:30pm, of course as worrier you are you wanted to look perfect, so you had already been ready for an hour. when it finally came time to leave, you slipped on your shoes, grabbed your bag and left the comfort of your home. as you stepped outside you were immediately hit with the cold air spring and your arms got goose bumps.

reached the "gathering" you could smell alcohol and sweat and hear old country songs play, right then and there you almost considered leaving but you musterd up the courage to walk in, the minute you walked in ellie and jesse turned their heads towards the door, they smiled and indicated for you to come over, you walked over to them and sat down on a bar stool.

"hey guys!" you grinned and hugged them, you guys talked for a good ten minutes but when the conversation died down you looked over at the and saw that they were staring at the dance floor, why? you turned your head to look at what they were paying so much attention to and you saw Dina, dancing with some random guy, she looked beautiful, somehow in this overcrowded and loud bar she still stood out with her beauty.

when the song ended Dina came rushing over to you guys, you said hello to her before she stole ellie drink, she pulled her to dance and that's when you decided it would be better for you to look away. you continued talking with jesse while they danced, you snuck in a couple glances towards them every once and a while, lucky they never saw you, while jesse was talking with someone else you shifted your attention to them again, they were so in love and it hurt you so bad.

you had never actually seen them be together, you always tried to avoid that, if they invited you somewhere you usually would just make up some dumb excuse like you were sick or maria needed you for something, you just couldn't bring yourself to watch ellie be a couple with someone again. they leaned in a little closer and you could see ellie blush and chuckle, after a couple more seconds of chatter they finally kissed, you wanted to look away so bad, but you couldn't, it's like you wanted to hurt yourself.

after they shared that sweet kiss you quickly looked away and wiped a tear from your eye. you put your hand on Jesse shoulder to get his attention, he flinched before turned around, "hey what's up?" he questioned, you cleared your throat before speaking up, "I'm gonna rain check I'm really tired so I think I should get some rest" you put on your best fake smile, he nodded and said goodbye. you quickly rushed out of there.

walking home you couldn't stop thinking about how ellie didn't love you before and she doesn't love you now, you just couldn't understand why you couldn't get that through your head. opening your door was a struggle, do to not being able to see the key hole from the tears forming in your eyes.

when you finally opened the door you took of your shoes and laid down in bed, you sighed and closed your eyes hoping you could just disappear. you woke up to the sun peeking through your window, you sleepily grumbled and rubbed you eyes. you got up and got ready for the day taking your time, you thought you had nothing to do today, just a calm sunday, when suddenly you heard a knock at your door.

you opened the door and the warm air rushed in, it was ellie. 'not to be rude but are you doing here?' you awkwardly put your hand in your sweater pockets, 'oh uhm...yesterday you left really early and I wanted to check if your okay I guess...and you know we beraly see each other anymore' and she was right you've only been seeing each other about twice a month for a while. 'oh yeah I was just really tired last night and uhm I guess I just wanted to go home' ellie nodded, 'can I come in and maybe we can...talk?', you really didn't want to talk to anyone right now, especially not her.

but I mean you couldn't say no...? 'oh yeah sure' you moved from the door and she stepped inside closing it behind her, 'you got a new lamp' ellie pointed to the tall lamp in the corner of your living room that you found on patrol, 'yeah it needed more light in here' you awkwardly chuckled, you both sat down on your couch before ellie spoke, 'what happened to us?' she questioned, you turned you head around and tried to blink tears away, 'i don't know' you lied.

'i mean we used to hang out and tell each other everything, I feel like I don't even talk to you anymore' you sighed and put your knees to your chest, 'i know and I'm sorry' your voice cracked mid sentence, 'did I so something wrong?' she whispered, you thought maybe it was time to actually tell her, you lifted your head from between your knees and looked into her eyes, 'no you didn't, it's just I've always had these...feelings for you and they won't go away, so I guess watching you be with someone else is hard but uhm...talking to you is somehow worse...'

to say the least ellie was shocked at your confession, I mean her best friend was in love with her? and somehow she didn't realize, 'oh' with her mind racing a hundred miles per hour that's all she could say, 'yeah I know' you whispered, ellie thought about what to say before blurring out a quick 'I'm sorry' before getting up and rushing out the door, you watched her leave and sat there with tears streaming down your face. honestly you didn't know if you and ellie would ever be as close again.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie x you #ellie x y/n #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie x fem!reader

[shayberri789]

In honour of Ace Week, I'd like to talk about my experience with growing up ace.

Many, many of my fellow aspecs talk about growing up feeling broken, to the point where I almost felt "fake" because I didn't share this apparently universal experience. (No slander to them by the way, I can recognise myself for being the oddball that I am, and the reason I escaped the self-hatred and broken feeling is. Actually kind of funny)

(Also sorry this is very long and rambly, editing is a bitch on mobile.)

I've always known I was aromantic and asexual. Not the terms, but I know I have been like this since before I can remember. The most important aroace memory I have is the one that saved me over a decade of grief, one I made when I was seven.

I was in grade one, and in a tiny, tiny school with literally only 4 people in my grade. My best friend, Jess, had just broken up with our classmates Thomas (they had been dating the way all 7yos do, and Jess has always been boy crazy). She was ranting to me about him, and I was a bit bored with it, playing about on the patio wall. I distinctly remember saying to her: "I'm never gonna get a crush! Dating is too much drama." And that was that. I promised myself never to get a crush.

And for years, I thought I was fantastic at keeping promises to myself. I was a pretty child, and I've always been kind, and many of my guy friends developed crushes on me, or felt pressured to have a crush and decided I was the best option. I don't know. I turned every one of them down, and said I wasn't going to date because I'd made myself a promise not to. I never developed a crush on anyone myself, and I thought it was because of a promise I made when I was seven. I never felt pressured to have a crush because of that promise, and all my girl friends accepted it too as an answer when they asked if I had a crush. We were like, ten, we didn't know better. None of us even knew what the lgbtqa+ was. Same-sex marriage was only legalised in 2006 in South Africa, and I didn't have a phone or access to the internet until I was 13. We also weren't as steeped in the amatonormative bullshit that comes with growing up, or fandom, or the internet.

When I was around 11-12 years old, we went to the coast to celebrate one of my childhood friend's mom getting married. Both his parents (his mom and later adoptive father) were close family friends, and while we were there I met up with an old friend I'd lost contact with.

I found out Dune, the lost friend, had had a crush on me since pre-primary school. He'd put a ring on his finger and declared that he was going to marry me when we grew up. I think He'd given up the notion by the time we reunited, but it made me feel weird. I started actually thinking about crushes, and my promise, and I worried that maybe I'd been repressing feelings. Did I accidentally close my heart to love because of my promise? But... not having to deal with crushes made my life so much easier, I wasn't sure if I wanted a crush. But I was worried I'd broken myself. It didn't help that when I brought this up to my mom (who is, by the way, an amazing woman and completely supportive of me now and my very queer brother and is bi herself) she said that closing your heart to love was unhealthy, and I should let myself feel things.

In retrospect, that's solid advice. I wish I'd listened to it more before I developed repression of emotions and memories as a coping mechanism to deal with immigration and a new country. But at the time I took it as confirmation I'd broken myself because again, I was eleven, and while I've always been mature for my age I still was lacking a lot of knowledge and growth.

Fortunately, I've always been a stubborn, genuine thing. I only changed parts of myself I didn't like, or thought hurt others, and no one else was allowed to decide that for Me. And I liked the peace not having crushes gave me, and I saved myself many years of grief and worry with that decision. It was three days of worrying about having broken myself, compared to an almost lifetime of many other aspecs.

That conviction was admittedly hard to hold onto though. I had several squishes in my childhood and the following yesrs, or maybe they were actual crushes but I doubt it; and I started becoming vaguely aware that saying I'd made a promise to stay single and unattracted to anyone was a weird reason for turning someone down when you're like 13/14yo. I stopped talking about my promise, but I never got a crush, never wanted one, and never wanted to date. I just kept living my life, even when I immigrated and said family friend's child from earlier, a boy I had been friends with since I was literally three years old, told me he'd been in love with me for five years the day I landed in my nee country. Thanks Vin, that's totally something to drop on your childhood friend when she is busy feeling like she'd lost everything. I spent a week analysing the last couple years of our friendship to figure out if he even cared about me the way I did about him. We're not very close anymore.

A year later, in Year 10/Grade 9, my new best friend invited me around to her house to tell me "something important". When I got there, I found our other friend we'd been growing closer too over the last couple months there already, and they were holding hands. Tess said to me, very gingerly, "Shay, I just wanted to let you know that I'm pan, and Saph and I are dating."

Three things you should know: I was barely aware that "gay" and "lesbian" was a thing at this point, I had no gaydar or ability to predict romance, and had quite frankly forgotten that crushes were a thing. I wasn't even looking for chemistry in my friends. I was caught completely off guard. I had no fucking clue was pansexual was. I'd only just started learning about the queer community and did not know how to react to this, and was suddenly, horribly reminded that my friends were at the stage where they cared more about finding someone to date than plodding on happily with the friendships we had. Tess later told me I "was a bit homophobic because of the way I recoiled with a slightly disguisted look on my face."

Honestly, I think it's because I was disgusted by romance in general and was unprepared for the confession, and was suddenly re-evaluating the entire friend group dynamics. I'm gonna forgive myself if I reacted badly, but I honestly wasn't aware enough of heteronormative culture, had forgotten amatonormativity existed, and didn't know enough about gay people to even be homophobic.

That night, I spent four hours researching the lgbt community to understand as much as I could, to find out how to support my friends and be a good ally. I still thought I was straight, back then. It got to the point where I knew a good deal about the queer community and experiences, enough to help my brother figure out he was pan and trans, and yet I still did not come across any aspec identity. Not in Tumblr screenshots, not on the wiki pages I read, not from word of mouth from the queer people I met irl.

I even went through about a month or so where I thought I was bi. I had enough common sense long before then to realize that a promise made when you're seven should not affect who you crush on, just what you do with those feelings, but it was the only explanation I had, so I quietly stuck with it. When I found out more about the queer community I thought to myself "... am I gay?" And critically evaluated myself, and came to the conclusion I felt the same about guys as I did about girls, and I must be bi, surely? But that didn't feel right, and It honestly made me feel uncomfortable to label myself as that, so I never mentioned it.

Fortunately soon after that, I was talking to one of Tess's old South African friends, who told me he was "asexual" (in hindsight, and seeing how he grew, I think he was actually aromantic. But, it's not my place to tell people how to identify). I didn't know what that meant so googled it, and realized... hey, this covers a lot of how I feel (or rather, what I don't feel). It wasn't quite right, I didn't really understand sexual attraction either (I still don't, really, but I do on a rational level), but it fit me better and explained a hell of a lot more than bisexual did, so I claimed it. Plus, pretty flag.

I tried to come out that pride month. I made an ace flag-coloured version of my profile picture, looked up the pride days for June, and decided I would change my pfp and bio on ace day to come out. Which I did! And many people congratulated me on figuring myself out, even more were confused as to what it was, and the rest didn't notice. But before all that, I'd accidentally come out on aromantic's day, first, much to my fear and embarrassment. I didn't realise I could be both aromantic and asexual. I didn't want it to seem like I was trying to be 'special' to fit in with my friends (I value genuineness greatly, and never wanted to appear like I was presenting myself falsely, especially for something like a trend or peer pressure). I quickly changed my pfp and bio before anyone noticed, and did it on the correct day at the end of the month.

Fortunately, it did make me look up aromanticism, and realize this identity fitted the rest of my experiences. But, I still didn't know I could have two identities, because I didn't know about the SAM model. I decided to stick with asexual, because I liked the flag more.

I still felt a bit like an imposter, though, like I wasn't really welcome in the queer community, and I always knew I didn't fit in the cishetallo one. I didn't know any other ace people except for the guy who told me about the term, and he was far too interested in sex and hot people for my comfort. I dedicated myself to learning more about the queer community as a whole, the lived experiences and politics, so that I could continue to support and be with my friends (who had, one by one over the year or so, come out as queer in some way, as one friend group does after the first one bites the bullet) even if I "didn't really belong".

It took me a while to feel fully comfortable as asexual, and to internalise I could be aromantic too and accept that (I called myself Grayromantic for a time because I thought the squishes had been crushes, and I almost wanted to hope I wasn't completely locked from love. I've since learned better and honestly, I'm really happy as plain aroace). I went through a period of trying on all kinds of micro labels to explain my experiences, but I've come to settle on the plain old aroace label. I'm happy, and I'm happy with myself. I also found the sunset aroace flag last year and fell in love with that, too 😂

I'd like to give a huge thank you to @fuckyeahasexual for all the information and support their blog gives, and the experiences and constant acceptance and reassurance that we are all ace, and for the info they give on aromanticism too. It played a huge role in my coming out and being proud, and then being loud and proud for the remaining years of high school. It's allowed me to meet so many more aspec people, and help people figure out their own aspec identities in my real-life community.

So yeah, I am, very extremely aroace. I swing wildly between sex and romance neutral to outright repulsed, and I have no interest in a qpr or any other relationship beyond family and friendship. (Shout out to my brother for getting into a qpr and then telling his actually aroace sister about it last out of everyone!).

I've been aroace my entire life, and I've never wanted to be anything different. I've dealt with my fair share of both microaggressive and straight-up aphobia from strangers, loved ones, fandom and society in general.

And I've never related to those posts about people growing up feeling broken, and for every single aspec out there like me who skated on through life and to their identities without that trauma as well, I tip my hat to you. We are valid, we are no less aspec than those with different traumas to us, and we are no less important or alone or isolated than they are. We're all in this together, and we should all take pride and care in one another. For our similarities and shared experiences, and for our differences. Happy ace week.

#shay posts #asexual #asexuality #ace #asexual week #ace week #ace experience #asexual experience #asexual pride #ace pride #aromantic positivity #aromantic pride #asexual positivity #ace positivity #aro pride #aro positivity #aro experience #aromantic experiences #aro #aromantic #aroace pride #aroace positivity #aroace experience #aromantic asexual #aromantic and asexual #aroace

[womanofwords]

Suit Malfunction

Based on this incorrect quote that I made.

Miguel O’Hara’s suit was overwhelmingly blue. That was the first thing Gwen had noticed about it, and she teased him about it. He didn’t respond to it, though. Caped Bluesader, Blue Panther, Blue Bug, she’d had a field day coming up with nicknames for him.

Miguel O’Hara’s suit was a hologram. Gwen didn’t find this out until later, but it made a lot of sense as well as raised a few questions. It made sense because a hologram would conveniently handle the talons he had on his hands and feet. On the other hand, she wanted to ask if his suit being a hologram meant he was technically naked.

“What the hell is that?” Miles asked, pointing at Miguel’s arm. Gwen looked where he was pointing and gasped. The suit was malfunctioning. His arm was glitching, alternating between bare flesh and the suit.

“What are you gasping about?” Miguel asked. He looked at his arm, and growled with annoyance. “Dammit, my suit!” He rushed out, looking embarrassed underneath his anger.

“What was that?” Miles asked.

“The hologram’s malfunctioning,” Gwen explained.

“His suit’s a hologram. It’s the only thing that contains the talons. Everything else will just rip to shreds.”

“A hologram?” Miles’ eyes grow wide. “Does this mean that he’s basically naked?”

“That’s what I thought!” Gwen exclaimed.

Meanwhile, Miguel was trying to cooperate as Lyla debated what to do with Miguel’s new suit. “Maybe we can change the colour scheme. Give it a bit more red. It’ll stop Gwen from calling you Blue Panther.”

“No. The blue comes from a Day Of The Dead costume.”

“Also, I’ve been meaning to experiment with different clothing styles on this hologram device.” Lyla typed in some instructions. “What about a suit and tie?”

“I do not want to fight crime in a suit,” Miguel snarled.

“But I have so many ideas!” Lyla’s voice took on a whiny tone. “Like this bunny onesie-”

“No.”

“Or this Elvis jumpsuit-”

“No-”

“Or this maid outfit! Oh, you look so cute!” Miguel looked down at himself in horror as his suit, his beloved suit that he had designed himself, morphed into a black and white maid outfit. The skirt (which was disgustingly frilly) barely came down past his knees.

“LYLA!” Miguel roared, as the AI assistant laughed.

“Oh, I am keeping that one for the blackmail album! Or maybe the personal album! You know what, let’s do both!”

“CHANGE IT!”

“Fine, let me just . . . oh no.” Lyla frantically typed in more lines of code, getting more and more anxious. “Houston, we have a problem. In fact, we have two problems.”

“WHAT?!”

Lyla gave a hesitant, awkward grin. “It won’t shift back. You’re stuck like this.”

Miguel struggled to contain his anger and embarrassment. “And the second reason?”

“You . . . have a meeting in five minutes. With the teenage Spideys. Jess Drew will be there, too. And . . . basically everyone else. It’s a meeting with literally everyone.”

“This is entirely your fault. I will never life this down. Everyone will have this seared into their brains for the rest of their lives.” Miguel paced around the room, cursing and kicking the wall. “And I guess I must leave to be humiliated.”

“I wish you well.” And then Lyla retreated to wherever she went when not helping Miguel.

“Stupid Lyla, stupid outfit, stupid meeting.” Miguel repeated this mantra to himself while staring at the floor. “Good day.” Everyone’s mouths stretched to the ground.

“Am I seeing things?” Margo whispered to Malala. “Os it that Miguel O’Hara in a maid outfit? Does my suit have a filter that’s making me see things weird?”

“It’s not just you. I’m seeing it too,” Malala said.

“Before I start, I would like to point out that there is a temporary glitch in my holographic suit that is making it appear like a French maid outfit.”

“This is my fault. Wanted to mess around with the settings,” Lyla admitted. “Well, that’s all you’ll hear from me.” And she left again.

“Right. Thank you, Lyla.” Miguel coughed to ease the tension in the room.

It didn’t work.

He had no idea how he got through the meeting; he barely remembered anything from it. But it ended, and that was a relief. “Any questions?” he asked. Hobie Brown raised his hand. “Yes, Hobie?”

“I ‘ave two questions. First of all, if your suit is a hologram, doesn’t that mean you’ve been running around naked the whole time?” Hobie asked. The room descended into chaos as Miguel watched in horror.

“CALM DOWN!” Miguel roared. The sound was choked out of the room as he cast a steely glare over every version of Spiderman present. “It’s the only thing that contains my talons. Also, I believe you had a second question, Hobie.”

“Can you look here for a second?” Hobie asked. Before Miguel could say anything, Hobie snapped a picture. Miguel growled and pounced on Hobie. Hobie jumped out of the way and ran off, laughing. Miguel gave chase, and everyone chased after them, led by Peter Parkedcar.

“This. Is. AWESOME!” Miles cheered. “Are there any photographers around here?”

“YO!” a chorus of Peter Parkers said in unison. Miles jumped.

“Lots of different versions of Peter Parker are or were photographers,” Gwen explained. “There will be loads of photos of this.”

“I will pay all the money I have to keep a photo of this!” someone yelled.

Meanwhile, Lyla grinned and saved the moment for her personal album. “I wonder how long I should give it until I tell him that there was never a malfunction,” she mused.

“HOBIE BROWN, I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF IF I DON’T GET TO DELETE THAT PHOTO MYSELF!” Miguel vowed.

“NEVER!” Hobie yelled, having the time of his life.

“Maybe I should give it a minute,” Lyla decided.

#creative writing #my writing #writers #writing #writers on tumblr #writeblr #spiderman across the spiderverse #hobie brown #miles morales #gwen stacy #pavitr prabhakar #margo kess #spiderverse lyla #jess drew #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara in a maid outfit

[eroseas]

eventually. [ellie williams] 3/5

other parts:

pt. 1

pt. 2

pairing: ellie/fem!reader

word count: 2k

cw: not proofread.

tags: n/a

an: ellie on a motorcycle.... im a fuckin genius.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

In all honesty, you probably should’ve seen it coming.  

Ellie is nothing if not relentless; obsessive. Everyday it was a new question, like it was her sole purpose in life to know every little thing about you. You suppose it’s fitting. One time, this girl– Abby– had picked a fight with Joel, claiming her dad was the one who he fucked over back in the day. She left Joel with a bloody nose and bruised eye. It took Ellie maybe 72 hours to have this girl’s entire life story laid out in front of her; printed pictures of her with her friends, links to Abby and her friends’ Instagram accounts, her address for fucks sake. Dina and Jesse had laughed their asses off, but you had watched Ellie. There was a glint in her eye. A proud one. 

It was unnerving. 

Realistically, you knew Ellie wouldn’t do that to you unless you gave her a reason to. It’s probably why she asks so many damn questions. She’s doing it the nice and socially acceptable way.

What’s your favorite movie? She’d ask, what about your favorite show? 

You told her everything; your hobbies, your interests, your favorite kind of flowers even though you really didn’t have one but she insisted that you had to pick one. You ended up picking tulips to settle her down. She asked about your family, but quickly took the hint that you really weren't interested in talking about that. You talked more about your cat than you did your parents. She asked why you moved.

You sigh, an amused grin on your face.

“How ‘bout you take me to dinner first, Ells? Kind of feels like half of an interrogation and half of a first date.” You joke, shaking your head. She ends up freezing where she stands, having just gotten up to grab a water bottle. You adjust yourself on her couch, wincing, thinking you made the wrong joke. 

Ever since Dina’s birthday, it’s been a little off. The flirty jokes have fallen flat, if Ellie’s face is anything to go by. It was tough, after getting into a little rhythm with her, it just didn’t work out. You had kept your mouth shut pretty well up until now, but Ellie just looks like a deer caught in headlights. You clear your throat, trying to make it less awkward. 

That gets her going again, a very late chuckle following after. She walks over to her kitchen to rummage her fridge for a water bottle, and you keep to yourself on the couch, twisting a ring over and over again on your finger. She sits back down after a little while, closer than before, and that serves as a kind of comfort that she wouldn’t have expected. 

She had invited you over to watch The Martian, or “The greatest movie of all time.” as she likes to put it. She had watched it a few years ago with Joel when it came out in the theaters, and ever since then, she’s watched it every year. 

She settles back comfortably, and for the entire movie, you don’t move. It’s too good. The drama, the space facts, the humor. She still laughs at the jokes like it's the first she’s ever heard them, and she even mouths along with the main character at times. It’s the most heart warming sight. Ellie Williams: Space Nerd Extraordinaire. You grin at her when the movie finishes up. 

“So?” She questions expectantly, “Wasn’t that the best movie in the history of movies?” 

You hold your hands up in defeat, nodding your head.

“It was a really great movie, for sure.” 

Ellie smiles at you, now, content. You can’t help but look at her, really look at her. She’s too pretty, you decide, way too fucking pretty. She’s all soft lines and warmness. A kind of comfort you find in the sun. She’s not making this any easier for you. Digesting your feelings has been rather difficult and constantly finding new things you like about her has been putting you in a tough spot, emotionally. On one hand, this girl just dumped her ex, like, three weeks ago. At most. The same night she dumped her you grinded up against her at the damn club. Even if she was reciprocating the flirting, and even if it seemed mutual, she’s clearly not interested now. 

You clear your throat, realizing you just bummed yourself out. You smile sheepishly, nodding your head towards the door. 

“I should go.” 

Ellie falters, her mouth falling open, but you stand quickly. As much as you want to be around her, to stay in her apartment and lay on her couch, you need some time to yourself. Ellie is becoming a little too perfect. This is dangerous territory, and falling for someone who isn’t looking for something serious isn’t the smartest thing to do.

“Wait, uh–” She stands, stepping towards you. She glances off to the side and lets out a breath. You stop to let her speak, and she throws you a small nervous smile.

“Listen,” she starts, “I really like you, so I don’t wanna fuck this up. Would you wanna go to dinner tomorrow night?”

It’s a very simple question. Literally just a yes or no. You stare, though, because holy shit. You were just going on and on about how she wasn’t even interested and yet, here she is surprising you. You look over her features, and note the way she pulls at her own fingers. You smile at her and nod, a happiness radiating off of you. She lets out a relieved sigh, nodding a little bit, too.

“I’d love to, Ells.” You say for good measure, grabbing your keys from her kitchen counter. You move towards the door and she hurries to open it for you. 

“Great, awesome,” she rambles, “I’ll stop by at seven to pick you up, yeah?” 

You chuckle at her, a blush blanketing your cheeks. You can’t help it. It’s been so long since you’ve gone on a proper date, and here’s Ellie, arguably the most attractive girl you’d had the pleasure of befriending, and she’s asking you out to dinner. And she’s gonna pick you up. At your door. You lean over to give her a very quick peck on the cheek, smiling, unable to contain it.

“I’m looking forward to it.” 

You’re looking so forward to it that you don’t even know what to do with yourself for the rest of the night. You had eaten dinner, showered, even done some homework. Now, it’s twelve in the morning and you can’t fall asleep. It takes a while; the overthinking and the butterflies in your tummy making you so overwhelmed you have to kick your feet into your mattress. You laugh quietly, noticing how childish it is to freak out about being asked out. But, then again, it comforts you. The ability to be so aware of something like this; about being able to experience something so pure. It warms you.

The next day goes by as slow as you had expected. The excitement of your date with Ellie made it impossible to stop looking at the clock. You’d spent some time with Jesse, studying for your next psych exam. You couldn’t stop shaking your leg the whole time, and eventually, Jesse had questioned you, half-worried and half-nosy.

“I can’t say,” you’d grinned as you shook your head, “I need it to go well first.”

He’d whined a little after the fact, deeming it unfair that you weren’t sharing with the class. After studying, you’d realize you should get Ellie some flowers, because hello, this is a date. Can’t show up empty handed. You settled on lilies, because you remember reading somewhere that they mean devotion. Once it finally became an acceptable hour to start getting ready, you showered and did your hair. Ellie didn’t mention where dinner would take place but you figured something casual would suffice. Once you finished getting ready, you hurriedly applied some lip balm ‘cause y’know, you never know. 

You glanced at the clock on the stove, and flinched when you heard a knock on the door. 

Right on time. 

You grabbed your purse and the flowers, and opened the door without hesitation. 

You look up to see Ellie, dressed in jeans and a nice jacket. You distantly recognize that it looks like her leather jacket, but forget the thought quickly. She rubs her left hand on the back of her jeans and smiles, her cheeks rosy. Her hair is pulled back half-up, and the flowers in her right hand make you snort, but it makes you melt, too. Tulips. She remembered.

“Lesbians think alike, I guess?” You playfully question, holding out the bouquet you got her, and she blushes. She hands you yours, and you hand off the lilies you got her. While you sniff the tulips, she does the same thing with her own flowers, though, you suspect she’s just trying to hide her blush from you. You motion for her to come inside, and you quickly put your flowers in a vase. You offer to do the same for her and she accepts gratefully, mumbling about not remembering how to. 

Once that’s finished, you both start to head out, and you pause when you look over at the helmet Ellie is grabbing from the railing next to your door. You raise an eyebrow at her.

“We’re going on your bike?” You ask, and she grins, nodding excitedly. You’d always loved that thing. The way Ellie straddled it and the way she looked in her leather riding jacket was beyond words. It’d made your mouth water every time she showed up on her motorcycle. You still remember one of the early interactions you had with her, where she was sitting on her bike wearing a tank top, with her hair up and a popsicle in her hand. It was a little summer get together that Dina and Jesse had invited you to, and she just so happened to be chilling out front. You blink, bringing yourself back to the present. 

“Lead the way.” You chuckle, and you both skip down the stairs. Once you get down there, she grabs your hand and tugs you close. You glance at the bike, noting her other leather jacket draped over the seat. You bring yourself to stare into her eyes, watching the way they trace your features. She tucks a bit of your hair behind your ears, holding the spare helmet up.

“It’s gonna squish your ears a bit,” she warns, “But it'll keep you safe.” You nod your head, holding still as she helps you put the helmet on. Once she makes sure it's on you correctly, she holds up her leather jacket that you like so much, and you try not to smile too hard.

Putting it on engulfs you in her smell; the cologne she likes to use and the soap she gets. She zips it up for you, patting imaginary dust off your shoulders.

“Lookin’ good, pretty girl.” She grins cheekily, quickly putting on her own helmet. She throws a leg over her bike and gets comfortable. You nearly drool when you notice she’s tugging on her gloves, but manage to not embarrass yourself. She starts the bike, and backs it out of her parking spot. She looks over at you, her visor already down and pats the space behind her. 

You take that as your cue and copy her previous actions, swinging a leg over. She holds you both up on the bike while you adjust yourself, and you wrap your arms around her. 

She shakes her head a bit, and tilts her head back as if to look at you. 

“Tighter, baby.” She says, and you curse silently, adjusting your grip. 

“Atta girl.” 

You let out a shuddering breath, trying to ignore the muscles you can feel in her abdomen. 

This was gonna be a long night.

#ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams the last of us #ೃ⁀➷; eroseas writes #eventually; elliesquerida

[miniimapp]

Can u Do Jesse X Reader Headcanons Pls

Gen ;; Fluff - Headcanons

Warnings ;; None

Proofread + edited ;; Probably not, no

Auth. Note ;; AOSJODBOBE YESSS JESSEEEEE - i love this man with my whole heart i can't help it please-

I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG !! YOU WEREN'T FORGOTTEN JUST SITTING (COMPLETED) IN MY DRAFTS FOR NO REAL REASON AHSJSDJFBV

Enjoy !! <3

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«

Jesse is definitely one dramatic ass man

Like,, romantic gestures aren't uncommon in your relationship at all but when Jesse goes all out, he goes all out

I'm talking dim the lights with scattered rose petals on the bed as slow, romantic music plays on a gramophone in the background kinda all out

And he loves to do these sorts of things for you

Jesse knows that he can't always be around for you when you need him to be and he feels terrible about it

Mans has some issues with guilt and anxiety that we can get to another day

So he likes to make it up to you with big gestures and time spent together

Spending time with you helps Jesse relax and unwind

His love language is quality time

Jesse isn't an introvert or extrovert - he's a you-trovert

(that was so stupid but so help me it's staying in)

After long days of work Jesse is tired and clingy - though he tries his best not to be

Hold him,, just- just please hold him

Just being with you gives him the motivation to continue the day

Jesse is the biggest advocate for both of your privacy

Like,, if you guys aren't public or anything he will savour that shit like a drowning man savours his last breath of oxygen

Jesse definitely clings to what privacy he has left

He feels like a lot of what he wanted to stay private slipped through his fingers like sand and he mourns his losses deeply

Jesse loves his fans and being a part of 4*TOWN but he can't help but wish it didn't come at the cost of his privacy

Though sometimes he finds it really hard to stay quiet about you

Like,, impossibly hard

The other boys, specifically Robaire, will have to cover his mouth before he accidentally goes on a tangent about how ethereal you look 24/7

Jesse uses pet names a lot

He likes to have titles and names that mean something special - that are reserved just for the two of you

His go to pet names are: darling, love, sweetheart, sugar and honey

I have a feeling Jesse hates using baby and babe

Like,, if you use them it's fine, he loves it !!

But he hates how they sound when he says them.

If you're uncomfortable with pet names not to worry !!

Jesse will absolutely try his best to not let them slip out

If you didn't clue in earlier, Jesse feels all of his emotions very deeply

He's used to trying to bottle them up and feels uncomfortable talking about them

Jesse is kinda of the therapist friend in that regard,, very much not the healthiest when it comes to expressing himself

His art is a way that he chooses to let out his emotions without talking

I think deep down Jesse really does want to talk about things like this with the people he trusts but he just never knows where to start and how to go about beginning a conversation like that

Take notice of his behaviour - he'll start practically living in his art studio under the guise of having a creative overload

Jesse will also space out more or sometimes he'll hyperfocus instead

Just ask him what's up, let him know that he can talk to you and if actually saying words is too much he can always write down what he wants to say

Build a bridge between the two of you and give Jesse the option to cross over, to open himself up to you

He will,, just give it some time and don't push beyond your initial reaching out

PLAYING WITH HAIR AHSDIUBDF

This man loves to play with your hair

Specifically braiding it, mans loves a good braid

And hey if you want wanna run your fingers through his hair Jesse definitely isn't gonna complain

And he definitely uses so many hair care products

Jesse will tell you the best hair masks to buy for any and all hair types

If you ask him to help you take care of your hair or want to help him with his he will be over the moon !!

IF HE SEES YOU HELPING HIS KIDS WITH THEIR HAIR ??

MELTING

IMMEDIATELY ON THE FLOOR CRYING

HE'S SO GONE FOR YOU ISTG-

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«

i am so so sorry this took so long !! this has just been sitting in my drafts (completed) for the longest time because i've been so focused on the theater au that ISN'T EVEN FINISHED YET AKEBDIWBFSIB

hope you enjoyed <3

#4town jesse #4*town jesse #4town #4town jesse x reader #4*town jesse x reader #4town headcanons #headcanons #4town x reader #x reader

[kuriboo]

Legendary Dragon of White - Hurt/Comfort

Written for @ygorarepairweek ! This is my day 2 entry! Jewelshipping (Chazz and Jesse) is still my ship of choice for this event, and Hurt/Comfort is the prompt I chose!

Link to ao3 will be in the notes!

Jesse leaned in close to the mirror.

He stared into his own eyes. He was so used to the normal color of his eyes, but now, he had an inner ring of orange color mixed in.

His teeth used to be normal, but when he looked down at them, sharp fangs were what replaced them.

This wasn’t the first time that he’d seen his changed appearance after Yubel possessed him. It wouldn’t be the last. Jesse wasn’t sure he’d ever be used to it.

He closed his eyes. He couldn’t look at himself. It was just a constant reminder of everything he’d done. Everything Yubel made him do. Even if he wasn’t the one making those decisions, the one controlling his actions, it was still his body. It was still him that everyone saw.

It was him that Jaden was chasing after when Jaden went to Dark World, bringing the rest of his friends with him.

It was him who sent out the order for Jaden’s friends to be sacrificed in order to create Super Polymerization.

It was because of him that so many innocents lost their lives in Dark World.

Now he had these physical reminders to punish him for it.

”You’re doing it again, aren’t you.”

Jesse opened his eyes and looked back in the mirror. Chazz stood in the door way, hands on his hips as he looked back at Jesse.

“Doin’ what?” Jesse asked with false innocence.

Chazz snorted. “You’re blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault.”

”It is my—“

”It’s not.” Chazz stepped into the room. “I’m not going to stand here and let you blame yourself for what happened in Dark World.”

Jesse turned away from the mirror to look directly at Chazz. “If it weren’t for me, y’all never would’ve gone there in the first place. Jaden never would’ve become to Supreme King. You never would’ve died.

Chazz held up a hand. “I was sent to the stars. And I’m fine now. Jaden’s fine now. And even if we weren’t? Everything that happened our third year of high school was Yubel’s doing. If you didn’t intend to send several of us to the stars or to turn Jaden into some kind of genocidal warlord or something, I’m not going to blame you for any of it. Yubel intended to do all those things. Everything you did, you were trying to help us.”

”It was my body—“

”But not really you.”

Jesse stared at Chazz, who was calmly refuting every reason he had to blame himself.

He couldn’t help it. He started crying.

”Then why do I look like this? Why do I look like them?”

Chazz took a step forward and held Jesse’s hands in his own.

”I don’t know. But it’s not a punishment. And I don’t care how you look. You’ll always be Jesse to me.”

Jesse leaned forward, his face against Chazz’s shoulder. He let out a sob.

”…Thank you.”

#ygorarepairweek2023 #yugioh gx #tater writes #jewelshipping

[dragonbma]

Jotting down some extras about the Possession AU:

Pre-Sea Temple Adventure: (some of these I also headcanon for the actual game)

Jack and Vos were friends since a young age and later met Sammy and Nurm on an adventure. The four traveled for a bit, but eventually Nurm left to map new locations while the others explored elsewhere. (Jack later reunited with Nurm after the Sea Temple adventure.)

Jack, Vos, and Sammy found the first prismarine gauntlet on accident during an underground expedition.

The original gauntlet did not have curse of binding. The incentive to visit the Sea Temple was to get the structure block to close the “creepy bottomless pit spitting out monsters” that opened up after Jack picked up the gauntlet. (I’m guessing this took place somewhere near Mushroom Archipelago since Jack mentions in game that the residents there know of the Sea Temple.)

Individual personality headcanons coming soon ^^

Vos in Beacontown:

(Right after leaving the Sea Temple: Romeo still in control of ‘Vos’)

Vos is delighted to see that Archie (Sammy’s parrot) is alive and well.

Jack and Nurm live in their shop/emporium and Jack offers a spare room in the attic to Vos. “It’s kind of a mess in here, but you’re free to have this room if you want.” “Thank you, Jack. I really appreciate it-” “Give me a second and I’ll grab a spare sleeping bag...” And then Jack returns to find ‘Vos’ just curled up and napping on the floor- (Romeo realized how tired Vos was so he was just like “Ugh fine we’ll just sleep for a minute-”)

When the town is rebuilding after the Admin’s initial attack, Jack goes out and gets new resources to rebuild his shop with. Jesse notices this and asks why he’s not using the prismarine that dropped from the Colossus. His reasoning: “As cool as it would look, I don’t really want a constant reminder of the Sea Temple in the emporium. Especially with Vos moving in. He was helping with the rebuilding earlier in town, but I could tell he was pretty off-put whenever he had to craft the stuff. Reminded me of how I felt when we ventured back to that temple. And I get it… Plus the shop looked great before! No need to change it. But, hey, don’t tell Vos; I don’t want him to feel bad-”

(After Romeo’s defeat:)

Vos was somewhat nervous and socially awkward after not being able to interact with other people for years so Jack usually helps him get to know the other townsfolk. Especially Ivor. After Ivor gets back from his ninja shenanigans, Jack is probably ecstatic to introduce his best friend to his idol who lives in town.

I want to say some things about the scene on the Terminal Zone bridge, but that may be a comic for another day-

Other:

Vos and Xara had never been good at sleeping until after they returned from their individual “odysseys.” Vos had the longest nap in the emporium attic after sleeping on nothing but cold obsidian for the decade. Xara probably slept for a whole week when she finally got her bed back-

Having no natural sunlight for years probably affected Vos’ vision somehow (photophobia maybe) so he keeps his hood up to block the sun whenever he goes outside. Finally leaving the temple for the first time was probably a blinding experience. “I’d really like to see the sunshine again. I hope it’s as nice as I remember.” Bro, you’re going to see all of it-

Post-game stuff will be revealed in a later post because I have so many ideas of what everyone gets up to that it needs its own post. ^^

[Back to original post:]

#mcsm #minecraft story mode #mcsm vos #mcsm au #vos possession au #bermuda brainrot hours #bermuda ramblings

[pbandjesse]

I did a really really bad job sleeping last night. After being so exhausted all day I was hoping I could go to sleep at a normal time but not. 3am. It was not a fun night. I had a horribly runny nose and a burning throat and I was just so uncomfortable. I could only breathe if I was sitting up. I was just having a pretty bad time. I tried reading for a while. And that helped a little but I was just not having fun. I did get to sleep eventually but it was a horrible struggle.

I woke up at 9 and felt. Fine. Not amazing. It felt like I was swallowing glass but mentally I was alright. I was looking forward to hanging out with Jess.

She was having a tough morning and thought she might be running late. But that was fine with me. I got washed and dressed and then wasn't sure what to do because I didn't know if she was ready to go yet.

So I made the decision to go wait on the car for a minute. And then I left. She would only be s few minutes behind me and it all worked out.

It was a pretty nice drive to Havre De Grace. I thought I hadn't been there before but it turned out it was near the decoy duck museum James took me to years ago. But this town was so cute.

I parked and read an article and then Jess was pulling in a few cars away from me. I was so happy to see her.

We would go to the vintage cafe. And at first it was nice and quiet but it would pretty quickly get incredibly loud for such a small space. I still really enjoyed our conversations and it was fun.

She got an omelet and I got a grilled cheese. We shared our potatoes (home fries and french fries). And it was a nice cheap little meal.

When we finished we would head down the street to one of the antique malls. There were a handful in this town which is very cool and gives us a good reason to come back.

This place was huge. And I had so much fun looking around. It is always interesting seeing how many of the same thing you fine, and how many weird things you find.

We also just had good funds today. Jess collects a specific type of basket. Or rather a specific brand. And she was looking for a larger one. She would find it, plus two medium sized ones. She also got a very cool candle holder. I would find some presious lilly of the valley wall hooks that will be perfect for the bathroom in the new house.

I would also find a little Boyd's bear panda. And a beautiful pressed flower bracelet. I wasn't sure I was going to actually get the bracelet but me and Jess were being really good about checking comp prices for everything on eBay and this bracelet was going to $110 so I was getting an amazing deal. And I love it. It's the state flower too so I love that.

We were having a lot of fun. Laughing at weird stuff. Like the double toilet bathroom. And just being silly and having a good time.

Once we were done there we paid and went to drop the bags off at the car. Then across the street to a retro reproduction and dead stock/pyrex store. She got a very cool pyrex shirt and I liked that people are using circuit machines to put Pyrex patterns on cups. I didn't find one I love but it's going on the wishlist for sure.

We decided we were antiqued out but we wanted to go to good will still. We would have to drive 15 minutes to go there. Which was fine except a big truck was parked behind me unloaded and I was kind of trapped. I was able to maneuver out, with no thanks to some guy making illegal moves to get the parking spot next to me. But I got out and was able to follow Jess to Aberdeen .

This wasn't an amazing goodwill. But Jess found a sweet jacket. I was a little horrified by some of the prices. Like $50 for a shitty scratched up skateboard. But it was still fun to look around.

We saw there was a restore across the street so we went to look there next. A very good selection but mostly just for ideas for us. Jess says she has most of the furniture she needs now. So it will be me searching for things once we move.

We didn't find the accordion wall hooks she was looking for but that's alright. She would find some online later.

We hugged and said goodbye. And we both headed home. I was getting tired.

The drive home kind of sucked. Some traffic but I just started feeling very very bad. Like head cold bad. Like I'm feeling very sick bad. It was kind I got hit with a brick wall. I desperately wanted to be home.

When I got back here I was excited to see I had a package. I had ordered new Minnetonka boots. And they are great and will keep my feet nice and warm.

After putting things away I got changed into my sweatsuit and laid down. I did not let myself sleep. I want to sleep tonight at a normal time. So I kept myself awake. And was just kind of miserable and not feeling well.

I waited for James to come home.

When they got back they babied me a bit. And would make sure I was alright before doing their short podcast episode for the night. And then they went to go and get us pizza. I got mine with broccoli. We don't really want to be eating out so much but we have no oven and no stove and it's very annoying. We have reached out to Tina and hopefully she solves this quick.

I had a few documents I had to send to the mortgage people. So that took some of my focus. And eventually I took a bath and scrolled on my phone which is not the safest but I was careful.

And now I am just. So tired. And very uncomfortable. I'm going to take a NyQuil and hopefully I can sleep and be well tomorrow. I'm not holding my breath because I think I have a cold. But I will try my best to take care of myself.

I hope you all sleep well tonight. I love you all. Goodnight!

[josiahsterling]

when my time comes / forget the wrong that i've done / help me leave behind some reasons to be missed

TW: DEATH, BLOOD, KNIFE, INJURY, MENTIONS OF DRUG ADDICTION, PAST OVERDOSE

Josiah had gone back inside, feeling a little more level headed. In all, he'd say tonight was a success. The anxiety felt more like it came from the throng of people, not that small part of him that he knew would never quite rewire the same way again. That was something they'd talked about a lot back in rehab. This wasn't a choice he made, it was how his brain worked now. Recovery meant working every day to be the person he wanted to be. The son whose parents didn't worry about leaving alone, the brother that could be there, the uncle that could love that little girl like she was his own. Maybe...maybe the partner someone would want. Someday. That thought was more complicated. Him and Jamie were complicated. Always had been. Jamie was all in, from day one. Threw himself wholeheartedly at a boy who wasn't in the shape to treat anyone gently. And he'd come back to a man still trying to atone. He knew what Jamie wanted. He just...wasn't sure it was what the two of them needed.

That's the thought he's mulling over, absently stirring a Diet Coke, when the lights cut out. The reaction is instant. Total panic. He has to admit, he's spooked too. It's essentially pitch black in here, and with everyone running around, he can't just stay here unless he wants to get trampled. Can't stay. He needs to find...Jamie, Nell, Jesse, Danny, someone. He had to make sure they're okay. The foreboding sense he'd had all night, which up til now he'd chalked up to an unease at the way Jamie was acting, had reared up, and the longer he couldn't find anyone, the worse it got. "Jamie? Jamie!" He's trying to push past people, trying to see if he can make out the taller man in the crowd. "Jesse? Danny? Nell?" He's looking around, trying to find someone. He doesn't know what's happening, and he can't just worry about himself. It's not how he is.

Someone grabs him, and for a second, he thinks it might be one of them, and he doesn't even really care which one it is. Before he can fully turn to try to see them, there's a searing pain in his side. He screams, in surprise, in pain, in shock. He feels like he's moving in slow motion, but whoever's on him now decidedly isn't, and more pain shoots through him as they keep stabbing. He doesn't know how many. Could have been four, could have been forty. He doesn't know. Adrenaline's the only thing keeping him upright, and he tries to run once his head stops swimming, finding his limbs almost too heavy to move. The fabric of his shirt feels hot, sticky, and a feeling of revulsion washes over him when he tastes copper. He doesn't need the lights on to know it's blood. He can feel it seeping through his shirt, running down to his jeans, dripping onto the floor.

He's not actually aware of how far he's managed to get, the pain and the blood loss making him collapse. He just...lays there. He needs to get up. He needs to keep going. He can't lay here and die. He can't.

The house party had been his wake up call. It was some out of town thing, with people he barely knew. But their stuff was always good, so when they'd asked of course he'd said yes. He lost track of how much he was taking, downing a drink when it was handed to him and definitely not turning down the guy who'd been eye fucking him all night when he handed him a couple pills. He's not a lightweight. He'd be fine.

He woke up connected to machines, his mom and dad not even looking at him. When he tried to talk, his throat felt dry, pained. They had looked at him in something between alarm and relief, their eyes red. He didn't know what had happened. The last he remembered, a guy in bright blue eyeliner had flopped onto the couch he was on, putting his head in Josiah's lap. How--

He'd overdosed. On what they couldn't tell him until he remembered what he took or toxicology came back. His heart had stopped. He'd been dead. He felt like a cliche, coming home and realizing only now that this had gone too far, gotten too bad for him to just fix it himself. He had to...He didn't know yet, but he had to do something.

He has a similar thought now, even as his vision goes spotty. He has to do something. He's so close to one year. Three weeks. Twenty-four days, really, but close enough. Twenty-four days, and he's hit his goal. He's so close. Three hundred forty-one days down. Twenty-four to go. Twenty-four. He's so tired. He's cold. Someone's in front of him, and he flinches. Tries to tell them to leave him alone, don't hurt him. Help him. He needs help. He needs his mom.

They're trying to talk to him, trying to press against the wounds. He's vaguely aware of being lifted. His vision is swimming, fading in and out. He doesn't remember dying the first time. If this is what it is, it's...it's warm.

#hidehillevent005 #hidehillplotdrop008 #death tw #blood tw #knife tw #addiction tw #overdose tw

[brainrattlers]

Play It Cool - Tyson Jost (15/n)

Author’s Note: Short installment. Literally just a little Valentine’s Day fluff because some intense stuff is coming soon. I’m really great/awful about dragging this out, but damn it I have so many ideas I want to somehow incorporate.

Pairing: Tyson Jost x OFC

Warnings: Language. Nakedness in the shower together. It’s not graphic, but probably should give it an 18+ because reasons.

Word Count: 1626 (SO SHORT, I’m sorry, but it’s just a brief interlude!)

Missing Part 14? https://brainrattlers.tumblr.com/post/690822714485817344/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-14n

****

Tyson woke up at AJ’s, thankfully she had the day off knowing that she and Jess’ flight back from Dallas was going to be late. However it was a very quick breakfast together, as Tyson wanted to hit up optional practice (he had been working with Jussi and the goalies more, trying to work on his own skills while helping them out), and then said he “needed to go shopping.”

This was code for, “I still need to get you something for Valentine’s Day.”

You know, because… this very day is Valentine’s Day.

“Okay babe. Do you want to get dinner or something? Although that might be next to impossible being February 14th.”

Tyson thought about it for a few moments. “How about I bring some Chinese? Just a chill evening in, yeah? I mean, if you had your heart set on going somewhere fancy I can try playing the ‘I play for the Avalanche’ card…”

“You, me, and some Chinese sounds pretty good. I’m not usually one for big gestures on Valentine’s Day honestly. I think the sign yesterday was the biggest gesture I’ve literally ever made for it, honestly.” 

Tyson snagged a quick kiss before ducking out, heading directly to practice… wearing another one of AJ’s hoodies. He knew he was going to get crap for it, but he couldn’t get enough of how soft they were, and how they smelled like the body spray she often wore. She just rolled her eyes, knowing she’d reclaim it later at his place sometime, smelling instead of him. It was a vicious, beautiful cycle.

The two had previously talked about not going overboard on gifts like Tyson did at Christmas, but it was still a relative thing. AJ felt like she found a great *small* gift for him, and it came from the heart with the silliest of intentions. There was no way he wasn’t going to love it. And because she planned in advance, AJ was able to crawl back into bed for a few more hours of sleep (or at least scrolling TikTok and sending Jess videos most of the morning). 

It was finally around 1PM that AJ decided to be an adult and get out of bed. It simply was one of those mornings where it was just too comfortable to get out of, but she also knew that her back would be pissed off with her if she didn’t move soon. Pajamas seemed like a comfortable idea until Tyson texted around 4:30, saying he was heading over with dinner shortly. Frantically, AJ hopped in the shower, but lost herself a few minutes to the scalding hot water that washed away the sleepiness that was plaguing her. Not hearing the door open downstairs, AJ was surprised (and by surprised, I mean she screamed and threw a punch at the shadowy figure on the other side of the shower curtain) when a single rose poked itself into the steamy bath. And thankfully Tyson was pretty good at dodging fists.

Fighting to catch her own breath, AJ pulled the shower curtain back enough to poke her head out to voice her frustration after realizing it was only Tyson.

“DID YOU NOT LEARN ANYTHING FROM THE HAUNTED HOUSE? HOLY FUCK TYSON!”

She couldn’t stay angry seeing Tyson nearly falling over against the vanity trying to take his own clothes off as fast as possible to get into the shower with AJ. That goofy, giddy look that always took over his face was everything to her. Every time he saw her naked, he acted as if it was the first time all over again, trying to engrave every little detail into his memory. It gave AJ butterflies in her stomach every time too. 

Sometimes the nerves made her shy, covering her torso, hiding what she didn’t like about herself. But it never failed that being the hype man Tyson is, that he would talk her out of her own worries. He’d praise and worship every inch of her, which when in the shower, inevitably ran the hot water out. This was actually much preferred to Tyson. AJ never understood why he liked cold showers, where Tyson couldn’t grasp the concept of why hot showers were superior. But it also never failed that the two would be laughing as the hot water would run out, and Tyson would shield AJ from the cold spray, but also tease that he was going to pin her against the shower wall. Normally, this would be sexy as hell, but the walls in AJ’s shower were icy cold to the touch when she’d have taken a hot shower.

That damn glint of mischief was bright as day in Tyson’s otherwise darkened hazel eyes.

And more often than not, AJ would squeal as Tyson pressed her against the cold tile, but then doing something else that would make her forget all about the cold tile.

Stepping out of the shower first, he grabbed a fluffy bath sheet from the rack and tossed it to AJ still inside the curtain. After scrunching her curls, she wrapped the towel around her midsection and exited the tub. She was completely unable to not stare at the dripping wet naked Tyson in front of her, who was toweling off his legs, then chest.

“I’m going to straight up admit it, I’m staring very disrespectfully, Mr. Jost. Please do continue though.” AJ bit her lip while enjoying the sight before her. 

A deep crimson blush flooded Tyson’s cheeks, and went down his neck. 

“Oh yeah? Liking what you see?” Using his towel, he started exaggerating his moves and in doing so, became more ridiculous. 

Leave it to Tyson to diffuse what could have been an incredibly hot situation and turn it into something that leaves them both laughing, so much that AJ is nearly in tears. And Tyson loved to see and hear it - one of his favorite things was getting her to laugh, the kind of laugh that shook her whole body. He took that as the most real sound she ever could make.

After a few quick kisses and finally getting dried off and dressed, Tyson grabbed AJ’s hand (and the rose that started this whole mess) to bring her downstairs to get dinner that likely now would need reheated. However something on the sofa made AJ stop and stare, first at the fluffy shape, and then at Tyson.

“What is this?”

The smile on Tyson’s face couldn’t be contained as he guided her around to the front of the sofa.

In front of the two of them was a giant teddy bear holding a box of Smarties (Canadian Smarties, not American Smarties), the rest of the roses, and was clad in one of Tyson’s old Team Canada World Juniors jerseys.

“His name is Maple. I thought you could cuddle with him when I’m on the road, you know? And he’s bringing you Smarties, because you are what you eat. Ignore the fact you’re eating General Tso’s tonight, just think about that when you eat the Smarties. Because you’re my smarty!”

Tyson was clearly proud of himself on this one, when he looked over and saw that look again of “what the hell did you do/why did you do this/I love it.” It was a look AJ gave him often. 

“I love him, Tyson. You shouldn’t have, but… I do love him.” AJ gave the bear a giant hug before grabbing the small box off the coffee table. “I got you something too, it’s not nearly as substantial, but when I saw it, I knew you needed it.��

Unwrapping the paper from the long slender box, Tyson stopped and stared at AJ before opening the lid, revealing a necktie.

But not just any necktie, it literally had a waffle print on it. As in the breakfast waffle, including a little pat of butter and a splash of maple syrup at the bottom. He fingered the fabric as he started giggling.

“Really babe?”

“Oh yeah. We’ll find you a shirt that this tie will go with, and that way you can wear it on the road, and think of your Eggo. I can only imagine what the rest of the guys will think though.” AJ tried to stifle the chuckle but it still happened, and Tyson joined in. 

His fingers touched the fabric, and he got quiet, seemingly lost in thought. But he quickly came back to the current moment.

“I love it. And I love you baby. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day love.” AJ pulled Tyson in for a tight hug and a soft kiss. He kissed the tip of her nose again for good measure.

“Now let’s go reheat those eggrolls, I’m starving!”

AJ just rolled her eyes at Tyson before being pulled into the kitchen. With food reheated, the two retreated back to the sofa to put on a movie, but not before having to move Maple to the overstuffed chair. And with full bellies, the bowls were set on the coffee table and the two curled up together. Tyson was texting someone while AJ laying across his lap, and was getting frustrated that his phone was blocking the view of the TV for her. Usually the two were good about not being on their phones when hanging out, but this was important to Tyson. But he could tell that she was getting a little frustrated.

“Sorry babe, just about finished. Showing Grandma and Grandpa the tie.” He snapped a photo of the tie and texted it, along with one more message before putting his phone on the coffee table.

Tyson: Hey, this message is just for Grandpa Jim.

Tyson: How did you know that Grandma was the one? Peep Chapter 16 at  https://brainrattlers.tumblr.com/post/692092027971796992/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-16n-authors-notes

#Tyson Jost #Josty #Tyson Jost x OFC #Play It Cool #TysonTuesday

[missroller15]

Just wrote this and I’m so sorry in advance. This actually turned out decently well for something I wrote so quickly. It’s set around season 4 before the first episode where Jess comes back so that’s just an idea of the setting! :) 

It was dark, moonlight only glistening in through the grimy window by the doorway. When Jess managed to pick the lock, he grimaced at the sight. The apartment (if that’s what it could even be called in its condition) wasn’t much, to say the least. It was just about two rooms, each one small with the floors covered in random mattresses, sleeping bags, and blankets. 

Most of the people who stayed never returned for more than a day from what he heard about this run-down building so when Jess stumbled upon it, he took quick advantage of the leftover water bottles, granola bars, whatever useful edible thing he could find. 

As he searched through the rest of the empty space, his foot hit a box by a plastic chair that was propped up against the fridge. The cardboard box tipped over, a cluster of random items flooding out. Worn out baby toys and clothes, a rusted ring missing its diamond. An MP3 player. Jess squinted his eyes, trying to get a better look at it through the dim room. The chipped painting gave away somewhat of an idea on how old it was. Even the earbuds that were attached seemed pretty old, but it was still decently in shape.

Jess glanced around, making sure no one was near before he leaned down and picked it up. It was just the perfect weight to carry around. A bitter chuckle escapes his lips as an image of his ten year old-self begging his mother to consider buying one comes to mind.

He remember the reasoning like the back of his hand. Music was so similar to literature in the way, it could take Jess away from the places of the real world. From letting him focus on himself. He could think about someone else’s feelings, not his. Not how he felt when 5th grade bully Jack Clayton threw his personal edition of Oliver Twist in the trash can. Or when he discovered the notepad full of notes he wrote on his favorite authors as well as books was scribbled all over. Along with the addition of newer notes written, many along the lines of: Weirdo. Guess that brain is pretty useless after all. All you do is think about fake people. No wonder no one likes you.

Who would want to think about feelings on that? Jess remembered thinking at the time. It wasn’t just self-pity he felt settled in but frustration, vengeance, anger. At anyone real. At his mother who repeated countlessly, “I won’t have enough, buddy. You enjoy food more, right?”

Jess huffed through his nose as the memories continued filtering through. He shook his head, tossing the music player back on some mattress. The momentum must’ve been too much because, a split second later, it hit the ground with a clunk.

He turned around to walk out when notes of a song began to quietly play. He stopped cold in his tracks. The memory returned all too quickly, drowning him in. Jess was reminded of the one person he could bear to associate with school positively..

“You know, the whole reason studying exists is so you can make it through the tests. Those things that help your grades that’ll get you into college.” Her voice, dripping in optimism. Light, just like her smile as she looked at him brightly. He sat up, tilting his head at her. “I didn’t realize I already discovered the secret to time travel because this conversation sounds way too familiar.”

Rory laughed a bit, leaning towards him. “Well, I guess they don’t call me Doc Brown for nothing.” She looked at him, her lips quivering in a straight line to keep from smiling. It was intoxicating.. in the best way. She was. He leaned in, meeting her lips. Moments like these made his mind go hazy yet electric all the same. His hands found her waist, pulling her close. He felt her smile right before breaking away. Jess frowned, a puzzled look flashing across his face. 

“Not so fast, mister. We’re still here to study.” She folded her arms across her chest, trying to keep her face as stern as possible. 

It faltered a bit when he leaned in close enough for their foreheads to touch. His hands found hers, fingers intertwining. He kept his tone hushed, trickled with innocence. “I’m a good student, I promise.” 

Her face flamed as she gave him a quick peck and pulled away with a small grin. Rory jumped up from the couch and stood a couple feet away. “Oh c’mon, that’s not fair!” Jess pouted, slumping in his spot. She paced back and forth in front of the couch for a few moments before facing Jess, tapping her pencil against her chin.

 “Alright, I got an idea. If you are so against studying academics right now, then I have a compromise that will satisfy us both, I hope.”

Jess sat back up, an intrigued grin growing on his face. “Is that so, Gilmore?”

“Yup. Now stand up and come on over here.” She replied with a gesture to the general area of Luke’s apartment. Her eyes lingered around, searching for something. “Ah, there it is!”

Jess followed her line of sight as he stood with an immediate groan when he realized what she was referring to. Rory lugged over Luke’s boombox and set it on the coffee table. “Hey, I don’t wanna hear any of that. You got that, Nancy? This’ll be fun.”

He sighed with a defeated smile, taking her hand. She pulls out a cassette from her pocket, a crimson blush dancing across her cheeks. Jess stared in a mixture of shock yet admiration. “Had it all planned, didn’t you?”

“Would you look at that, Holmes cracked the case.” She placed the cassette tape into the player and closed it in. The song began blasting. Rory’s eyes widened as she whipped around to lower it. “I cannot believe I forgot to lower the volume! I knew there had to be something, of course there’s always something-”

Jess grabbed her by the waist and turned her around, planting a kiss on her lips. Her eyes flickered to his, shyly once they broke apart. Beautiful. He resisted the urge to kiss her again and cleared his throat. “So, I gotta warn you I’ve got two left feet. This may end in disaster.”

Her hands wrapped around his neck as his hands remained planted on her waist, still keeping her close. Her eyes gazed into his as the two slowly practiced a few steps. Her voice was soft, comforting. “You’re doing great, I haven’t lost any toes yet. That’s a good sign.” 

“Hey, don’t count that out yet.” 

She laughed, leaning into his shoulder.

The two continued swaying, not thinking about the rehearsal. Just the music guiding them. He pressed his hands to her cheeks. Her eyes flickered to his, an indescribable shade of blue, full of care. Of love. For him.. 

Her mouth met his and like every time, everything just disappeared. Just that song somewhere in the back of his mind, as an anchor to reality. To let him know she was his and he was hers.

“Who are you, kid?”

Jess blinked, the original setting returning as he realized he was sitting on some random mattress near the box, the MP3 player clutched in his hand. The song ended on its last lyrics. He immediately stood, a hostile reality hitting him like a ton of bricks. While a man was by the doorway. Not just a man, an officer. He took a step closer but Jess backed up.

“You don’t live here, do you?”

He remained silent, looking down at the ground. He let himself slip up. What an idiot, Jess repeated over and over again as the MP3 player fell from his hand, it hit the ground more forcefully than before. He might’ve flinched at the noise if his mind wasn’t already preoccupied. No ideas came to mind on what to do. None of them good anyway. The officer took a couple more steps in, leaving a space just large enough for Jess to squeeze past through if he bolted. 

No, no. Don’t be an idiot, Jess. You already messed up once. 

“You have anywhere to go? Any home? I don’t think this is your spot, son.” The officer spoke sympathetically, walking slowly towards Jess.

The doorway was completely free now.

Jess’ hands balled into fists as the horrible feeling of dèjà vu kicked in. 

Leaving, running, abandoning. Yelling, flunking high school, the last look from her on that bus. It came back in flashes, scenes that were torn up in a book that he never wanted to re-read. He needed to just get to the next chapter, through each word, each next step. Maybe, he’ll find an ending that’ll make him smile again. Even a small grin will do.

That won’t be today.

So he ran. 

Not looking back, ignoring the footsteps behind him, his heart beating erratically as he tried to find an exit out of the building.

The officer’s footsteps became quieter as did his yells, the farther Jess ran down and turning the halls. He eventually found one, his lungs burning he stumbled towards a tree. The pitch darkness masked him as he sat down against the trunk, trying to slow down his breathing to a normal pace. 

Once his brain could function on common sense rather than survival, the pure fear trickled into him as he realized this place wouldn’t be good either. He’d need to leave. His throat clogged up, not feeling quite ready to make his way towards his next temporary place. It was always the same.

An endless cycle would occur that he wanted to believe got him somewhere (or eventually would) but it didn’t. It never did. The process just restarted, keeping him on the same track, replaying like a broken record. He hated it, like nothing else, but all the while, it didn’t feel worth fixing anymore. It worked, at the very least.

 He looked back down at his backpack and unzipped the front packet, hoping to find something to eat. His mistake cost him the food and extra water from the apartment. There wasn’t a gas station nearby so the extra money tucked into his pocket wouldn’t do much. He continued, feeling around the pocket, looking for anything when he felt something else. 

He pulled out a picture. 

It was him with her. Smiling, holding each other, lovestruck like a disease. A whisper of that grin came back for a second. He couldn’t remember the last time he seemed so happy. He wondered if Rory was home-- 

Home.

The horrific image of Stars Hollow followed. 

Stuffing the picture back in, Jess stood up and began preparing to head back for his car. That’s what he’s going to need. Stars Hollow wasn’t his home. It never was. And it never will be.

#jess mariano #gilmore girls #rory gilmore #literati #home is where the heart is am I right? ;) #i just love these two so much but my goodness the pain they cause- #also lemme know what song you imagine them dancing too!! #i wanted to leave it to you guys bc there are far too many literati songs out there that could've been picked so the choice is up to you! <3

[whyispotatoheadalreadytaken]

I went home on Sunday to see my family because I haven’t seen them in weeks. The last time I went home, I helped my mom plant rhubarb. She's been giving me updates every so often, like "it has a leaf!", "it has three leaves!", "it has Sox leaves!" Which is cute. So, I went home yesterday and brought the PS4 to download the Spiderman games now that I've finished out the last of us. So, we were downstairs with Sean for a bit, and I decided to go upstairs to chat with my mom. So, we make our way upstairs, and I round the corner into the living room when I hear my dad. I immediately stop and rethink if I want to go upstairs. Then he says this"

"Studies show that suicide rates among the LGBTQ community rise when they are not accepted by society - shut the fuck up, nobody cares, they are not treated any differently."

I went into tunnel vision and looked up at Zoë who looks as though she's about to murder someone. I back up and quietly go around the corner. Step by step, I just feel defeated.

Not treated any differently? Then why didn't you come to my wedding?

"We should go back up and set the record straight."

"There's no point, Zoë. You can't reason with a narcissist."

"If we don't tackle it in the moment, he'll keep saying he's never homophobic or doesn't treat you differently. What he just said, is so messed up on so many levels-"

"I know it is but this has been my entire life and he's not about to change just because we point it out. He'll dig his heels in because he can't ever be wrong."

"I'm just tired of you making excuses for his behavior. I get it. I'm just trying to stand up for you."

"I know. I'm sorry you had to hear it, too. But that is just the way it is around here."

Later on, Sean opened a video on Instagram that said, "In 2023, scientists have made a groundbreaking discovery that you're gay." Or something like that, and he laughed about it. I thought Zoë was gonna lose it, so I told him we were gonna grab some food, a game, and that we'd be back. So, we went home and had some leftovers, and I went upstairs and grabbed The Last of Us 2. When we got back, I handed the game to Sean, who gave me a face about it.

"Look, we're gonna be here a while and I know how you feel about the big conflict at the beginning of this game, but you can't say that The Last of Us is one of your favorite stories if you haven't walked through part 2 with Ellie. So, let's play until we get through the big bad thing together."

"Why can't the end of the first game just be the ending? That they lived happily ever after??"

"Sean! Ellie isn't an idiot! She knows Joel is lying to her! Yeah, it's easier if we just keep pretending. It's easier when we want to avoid relational ruptures, but that isn't how life works."

"Niamh, if you have me start this game, you won't get the Playstation back for a while."

"That's okay. I didn't come here solely to download these games. I don't need them right away, especially this week. I work tomorrow and then I'll be out of town for two days. Now is the best time for you to play through this."

So, we started the game. The intro, paired with the music, immediately makes my throat tight. I stay glued to the screen. There is something sacred about the very beginning of the game for me. The game eventually opens with one of Ellie's best friends debriefing the events from a dance that took place the night before.

Jesse: Let me see if I got this right: you kissed Dina--

Ellie: She kissed me.

Jesse: Which triggered Seth to call you a… not-so-nice word…

Ellie: Yep.

Jesse: Then Joel decked him--

Ellie: More of a push.

Jesse: And then you got mad at Joel? That part confused me.

Ellie: It was a strange night, man.

Later on, Jesse brings Ellie to visit Maria (basically her adoptive aunt and a leader in the town of Jackson)

MARIA: Seth has something he wants to say to you.

ELLIE: I don’t want to hear what that bigot has to say.

MARIA: Do it for me. Please.

Seth gives a half-assed apology and gives Ellie sandwiches for her patrol with Dina

JESSE: What have you got there?

ELLIE: Bigot sandwiches.

JESSE: Mhm. Smells good.

ELLIE: They’re yours.

Later on, we get to watch a small scene with Ellie and Dina making out. After that, there's a perspective change. Once that perspective change takes place, we go back to Ellie and Dina in their underwear while they take turns explaining scars thar they have.

So, that felt like a giant win for me. We highlight what bigotry is, that half-assed apologies aren't enough, and then get to see them make out for a hot sec.

I'm just so tired of fighting my family. It just really got to me and pushed my anxiety to the max. My hypervigilance was as if I was 14 again. I can still tell who is coming down the stairs from the basement. It's terrible. I just had to get out of my head and remember that I have my own home, family, and I'm not a helpless 14 year old anymore.

[nj-ayuk1]

NJ Ayuk on How the Civil Rights Movements Can Influence Energy Policy

As the chairman of the Africa Energy Chamber, NJ Ayuk works to piece together large-scale deals worth trillions of dollars. But his concerns aren’t financial. The most important part of good energy deals, he said, concerns people. 

That may sound like a boilerplate platitude pushed by corporate public relations experts, but NJ Ayuk has the background and track record to back it up. From his humble beginnings as one of six children born to a single mother in Cameroon to his education at the feet of icons of the American civil rights movement to his work on international energy deals, his biography reflects his commitment to benefitting underserved people. 

“I know what it’s like to be looked over for reasons that you cannot change,” he said. “My entire life, people have looked down on me for where I came from, or how I talk, or how much money my family had. And I was fortunate to have a family that never accepted those as excuses for not doing my best and trying my best. So I can’t help but believe that many people could be so much greater if they were just given more opportunities. I’ve seen it happen.”

NJ Ayuk draws inspiration from both his family and from the team of mentors he found when he attended college and law school in the United States. While attending the University of Maryland, Ayuk took a class with Dr. Ronald Walters, who had been president of the Wichita, Kansas, NAACP Youth Council and organized the famous sit-in at Dockum Drug Store. 

Walters’ passion for justice and drive for change resonated with Ayuk. Like his protégée, Walters was born into a large family and suffered from exclusion early in life. 

“Ron worked for the Rev. Jesse Jackson during his '84 and '88 campaigns, so he was an important and well-known person, and he really took me under his wings when I was a college student. It meant so much to see this person I respected and admired, who was known everywhere and had so much talent, to take an interest in me and encourage me to do great things,” NJ Ayuk said. “He really gave me a big, big shot at thinking and looking at life differently. I responded to how he talked about using the law to bring about change that truly helped people.” 

Ron Walters not only encouraged NJ Ayuk to attend law school; he also espoused a people-centric philosophy that continues to guide how Ayuk thinks about the policies and deals he works on. 

One critical component of the civil rights philosophy that undergirds NJ Ayuk’s work is how people can effect change even when they are disenfranchised, he said. 

“I approach many policies and deals with the understanding that, in Africa, we’re going to have to be people that bring about the change we want to see,” he stated. “And I’m sorry to everybody that is hoping that the White House or some other house or organization is going to do it for us. It will have to come from our house, much like it did in the United States during the 1960s. The government has a role to play. It can assist us, but when you look at our energy situation and the energy crisis in South Africa, for example, we are in the dark. We're spending six to 10 hours a day in the dark in Africa. That is something that we can fix and we will have to fix. It will not be done for us by someone outside.”

That kind of mindset has led NJ Ayuk to advocate for African people to become beneficiaries of the money brought in by the natural resources of their homelands. 

While Africa is home to vast amounts of fossil fuels, like oil and natural gas, most of the money made by selling and exporting energy hasn’t spread to all people equally. NJ Ayuk hopes to fix that. He believes the profits from new wells, drilling locations, and exports can help deliver electricity and opportunity to people across the continent. 

“We have a chance to extend opportunities to Africans. Right now, there are 600 million people in Africa who do not have [electricity] in their homes. They live in the darkness, and they lose out on the abilities that other people have,” he said. “We can help students study at night. We can help small business owners. If we can get electricity into more communities and villages, we can greatly increase the kind of health care people can access. There are many, many ways that energy can help people. And not just getting energy into homes and businesses, but using the profits from energy sales to invest in education and opportunities for women and girls and people who have never had a shot.”